#girl ? r we reading the same manga what

[deus-ex-mona]

pretty minor thing to think about, but i find it interesting how chapter 7 is the first chapter illustration to show chizuutan as chizuru (instead of chuutan)

like, i get it’s a flashback chapter, but we hardly got to see her as chizuru in the previous few chapters thus far… maybe we’ll get to see more of her as her true self after the hiyori fight/make up? only future chapters may tell, i guess…

[shoyowo]

some pro sasuke takes r weird 💀

[chireikiden]

Might be a pretty basic take by the standards of more seasoned yuri fans, but it's my perspective as someone who's mostly read yuri in a Touhou context (though a lot of it), and exclusively manga from the Japanese fans as opposed to i.e. written fics.

Touhou yuri (using it very broadly here to describe any kind of wlw shipping present) is, across the board, in a pool of fan literature going back twenty years, remarkably good at taking the lesbian part for granted. Not counting outright het content or works that simply don't bring it up, I have only very vague memories of a character's lesbian orientation being either denied or even brought to question (even in the cliche "But we're both girls!" manner, which even as a somewhat dead horse trope you might still expect to see, given plenty of doujin writing isn't exactly highbrow). You might be able to read "Does she like girls?" between the lines in the usual question of "Does she like me?" if you really want to, but the way it's still basically treated as default is fun to me. There's a reason Touhou basically has honorary yuri status on e.g. Dynasty Reader, even the stories with effectively zero shipping in them. You might not notice if you haven't browsed the site, but it's literally nothing but yuri + Touhou. We even got upload rights just so we could post more Touhou.

(Of course, Touhou being yuri city is part of the reason any hint of straight romance gets a really strong kneejerk reaction from people, including me. But that's also because the lack of usable male characters makes that shipping inherently hamfisted, up to and including literally making up cardboard villager OCs. Basically the only positive example I can remember off the top of my head is Hisona's An Old Poem for the Cuckoo Bird depicting Youki with a 1000-year-old mostly joking crush on Nue, which after some chin-scratching I decided I liked alright. And Hisona of course has plenty of yuri cred to cover for it.)

But although taken for granted, most Touhou yuri is one or more of: a.) On a "blushing maidens thinking about holding hands" level in its approach to romance, b.) Only depicting the starting moments of a relationship, at best - usually just pining, c.) Only off-handedly teasing, basically to acknowledge the ship is there, d.) Showing a very close and loving relationship but leaving the romance part subtextual, even if thinly veiled.

While those are all fine - some of my favorite artists like e.g. Ashiyama undeniably fall under d.) - it means that artists who depict more established couples, and couples that get depicted as more established, stand out. I love when a story is very blunt about two characters, whether the focus is actually on them or not, already being an item. Be it due to a difference in target demographic or what, many of these works seem to have a slight lean towards being more raunchy/horny even when not outright R-18, but I don't actually mind that too much when it does happen - as long as they're fun and raunchy, as opposed to only raunchy or, god forbid, unfun in raunchy ways.

I like how Moyazou depicts Mokou and Keine as basically-married. I like how Atoki depicts YuuParu or SakiYachi after drawing like twenty books of them (each). I like when Kawayabug depicts Tojiko as Miko's beleaguered wife. But the example of the day is obviously risui (of Ladies of Scarlet Devil Mansion), who you might have guessed inspired this ramble. Funnily enough, in LoSDM she seems to have walked back Meiling and Sakuya's relationship coincidentally at the same time she toned down the content to fit SCoOW's guidelines, compared to her usual works that have MeiSaku at a much more established and mutual stage.

But the point stands that it's really fun to see LoSDM almost rub it in your face from the very start - from Meiling's dream to every other conversation she has - that everyone in it is unapologetically and openly lesbian, assumes everyone else to be a lesbian, and doesn't hesitate to talk about it like a (romcom idiot) adult.

Also, risui draw lady very good

[tirralirralirra]

something I love about having read/watched frieren and dungeon meshi concurrently is getting to see that, despite their similar broad genres (fantasy, DND-esque settings, failure op elf girls /lh), they are two very distinct stories that ultimately achieve the same* thematic goal through different narrative means.

like you have frieren's contemplative, almost slice-of-life style storytelling that focuses on how the connections between people make an impact, and how it's beautiful to cherish the memories of those we love, even the small ones (especially the small ones), and that being alive is so, so beautiful because of those things. Then juxtaposing this with the overall narrative of a literal journey to a land beyond in order to meet with the dead, while not losing focus on those that are alive. Frieren as a story takes time to explore the small things that make life beautiful (fields of flowers, the beauty and not the power of magic, stargazing and sunsets with your friends).

and then you have dunmeshi's tight narrative arcs that are built around urgency (saving falin, first from digestion, then from...chimera-ization), but also continually return to the same concept as a core tenet to both the literal narrative structure around meals and the overall story: to eat is a privilege of the living. That there is joy to be found in eating because it means you are alive, that you survived. That taking time to take care of yourself is honoring your life. That death is a part of life through the acts of killing monsters to eat, and that the dungeon's condition where a soul remains tethered to the body is unnatural.

For that last bit, I love how we're just introduced to the concept in the beginning as a bit of world building, something you might just take at face value of, "oh, I guess this is how this works in this story", and over the course of the story the characters start to interrogate that reality, culminating in Marcille's realization at the end that they took death for granted because of the dungeon's condition:

[ID: Manga panel of Marcille looking down in thought and saying "Look, this might sound a little weird, but...I think the entire point of this journey we went on....was learning how to accept death.]

(Panel is from the ehscans version, will update with official eng when the final volume releases)

I also love that the story takes the time to say, look, you can be in a hurry, but you still need to take care of yourself. Eat well, sleep well, What will you achieve in the service of yourself or others if you don't take care of the most basic qualities to survive first? The most recent episode is a good example of that with the focus on shuro vs. laios, and then there's this reinforcement of the idea by the end:

[ID: Dungeon meshi manga page showing Laios, Chilchuck, and Senshi shouting "A balanced diet!!" "R-regulating our daily rhythms!!" "And moderate exercise!!" respectively, followed by the three in various poses in front of the word "VICTORY" and Laios saying "If we watch these three points...we'll naturally work our way to strong bodies!!"]

Anyways this is all very disorganized and I have other things I need to do and I could write a more cohesive, actually organized thought piece on all of this with like, coherent points, but I don't really like to delve into literary analysis on my fandom account. it just lives in my head, rent free. thank you for coming to my ted talk tumblr. don't expect to see more of this, lol.

*I say same goal, which is not to say the only goal. stories can have more than one theme, it's ok if you disagree with me on this, but please bear in mind that I'm speaking very, very broadly.

[laroinda]

i just caught up to wind breaker manga (the satoru nii one) and i desperately need to rant abt it

let's start from the fact that i'm not a fan of this genre of manga. the only other delinquent series i've actually read was t*kyo r*vengers but we shall not speak about this one and it certainly didn't leave a good impression of this type of manga on me. so imagine my surprise when i tuned in to the first episode of wind breaker and i found myself tearing up by the end of it, let's just say that it was quite unexpected.

the thing that surprised me the most about this series is the heart that it has. yes it's cheesy, yes it's cringe at times, yes the premise of the town and the school is so silly it might just fall apart if you start looking at it too closely. but the series manages to build the sense of community within this place so fast and so well that i never actually found myself questioning any of that.

another thing that was a really nice surprise was how kind the series is, both with its characters and with the themes it builds itself on. the main one of course being opening yourself up and learning how to trust others. every time we see a character struggle with that it tugs at my heartstrings so much i end up barely able to read the chapter cause my eyes water immediately, especially when it's about sakura himself.

sakura, oh my dear sakura. i could sing him praises for hours i fear so i'll try to keep it short. he's just incredible. he's truly the heart of the story in every sense of the word. he's so kind! he's such a good person, even if he doesn't believe it or doesn't know how to properly express his care for others! he's so lovable from the start, even before you see him grow into the person he is at the current stage of the manga. and he keeps growing and changing and becoming the person he probably never thought he could ever become before he came to furin. and it's all because of the people around him that accept him and let him grow at his pace, even if he makes mistakes or doesn't do things exactly right immediately.

i love the slightly more recent imagery of comparing him to a plant that started to grow since he joined furin. it started in the stretch between the keel arc and the red lights district arc when he decided that furin is the place that he belongs in and we saw a little sprout, but i feel like it's gonna come to full fruition in this arc. it's pretty clear to me considering that endo literally compares him to a flower and his whole thing is to try and set sakura on fire (metaphorically of course... i hope). it's probably gonna be contrasted to umemiya who's literally a gardener and under whose care and leadership, directly or not, sakura was finally able to grow because he was nurtured by those around him. in this case the main person who allowed that to happen would be umemiya as he's the one who made furin into what it is now. also, i've seen quite a lot of people be worried (?) about sakura potentially going with endo to protect furin but idk man i don't think that would happen. the angst potential is incredible but he was literally calling out that girl in the red lights arc (i'm sorry i forgot her name, it slipped my mind cause i've read like 90% of this manga in two days) for... basically doing just that. giving herself up so that others could be safe without thinking about their feelings. i feel like he's probably gonna take that lesson and apply it here.

speaking of which, i love this whole theme of passing down knowledge and advice on how to handle things that are new to you. first it's kotoha telling sakura that he needs allies to be at the top of furin, that he should start facing people that want to be there for him and even the small things like telling him to just say "leave it to me" when someone asks for help. and then, in the keel arc, he uses the same advice he was given before and gives it to someone else who's also struggling with quite similiar things to him. then there's him learning how to rely on other boys in his class and going to kaji for advice, who's very clearly meant to be kind of a parallel to sakura. kaji's went to somewhat similiar things, he's just further down the path of figuring out who he is, what he can and can't do that sakura is (or at least that was the case when they talked). so he gives sakura advice, one that was given to him before by hiragi when he was struggling as a newly made grade captain who felt like he was wholly undeserving of the trust that people placed in him and felt like he's gonna dissapoint them. he knows exactly what sakura is struggling with so he can help him the way he was helped before, the same way that sakura helped nagato before.

i have a lot more thoughts about this series but they are not sorted out in my brain in any way yet so i'm not gonna say anything more cause this on its own is messy as hell

[komba114]

Here is the most sensitive topic to talk about, which is:

《How Elizabeth betrayed O!Ciel》. (I've been working on this for days 'till now😭, please don't be mad at me)....~~ part one.

○●○●○

First thing first, I wanted to talk about this 'cause I've heard a lot of people talking about it from the negative side and the positive side.

All I want to say is this post is just my opinion according to what I've learned from re-reading the manga (and people's comments).

I know most people are saying how much of a betrayal Elizabeth is and standing against her, and some people defending her, and I personally saying that I've been through both.

But let me tell you this before I start, if we were to follow our feelings and what we need to hear about this character, then I want to say congratulations, we do look like this now:

□■□■□

I'll make it short by saying this:

The feelings we have towards Elizabeth now is not hate, but it's more like disappointment and anger at the same time.

Because most people would say: omg why would she do this, I used to like he but now I don't, how could she betray O!Ciel and blame him for what she is now.

Believe me, I've been through all this all the time, but it ended up just like the pic above.

So, let me say this: if we're to HATE Elizabeth personally and blame her directly, we would be the fool ones in the end.

What I mean is: the one to be blamed for what happened to her is not O!Ciel, neither R!Ciel nor herself, but none other than those:

Angelina Dalles and Francis midford.

I know some people are fan for those two, but excuse me for saying this:

Those two are the ones responsible for what happened to Elizabeth.

Simply, if you are more focused, you would realize how is this possible.

As we can see, Angelina here must have manipulated Elizabeth with those words of hers as "how to capture someone's attention", especially since we all know how she used to love Vincent before, we can also see how these words took their effect on Elizabeth and made her lying to herself and working hard on hiding a personality she couldn't find inside her nor believing in herself, by just pretending to be someone she don't even know.

Drawing a fake smile all over, talking nonsense about whatever girl's should do to win someone's heart, all this shit made Elizabeth blind to what she really wants to be.

On the other hand, the pressure on her increasing by knowing that the person she wants to be with is not a fan of strong and powerful girls. And that was a strong fall for her, as a 7 years old child.

Next, we have this. She starts fighting to hide a personality inside her by creating a new one, yet, we can see how her mother forcing her on showing the hidden personality she has.

And I want to say this specially to Francis:

Like who TF forcing a little child, all she must think about is playing, eating, learning and dressing like a normal child, on carrying such a duty as protection????.

She's forcing her on doing something she couldn't do, and I'm talking about how she couldn't protect her mother and brother. Yet forcing her daughter to protect her fiance because something might happen to them, she's only 7 and telling her that it's for his sake and hers?.

And do you think she would be able to even move a muscle if she saw what O!Ciel had seen?, the answer is no. She would scream and cry for help, and maybe she will get kidnapped as well, simply.

And that is exactly what I'm trying to say, if y'all were to blame and hate someone, it must be them for what they have done and said to her.

All this pressure on her had her blind of what she want and what her feelings actually are.

We can see here how she became confused, she can't even tell whether to blame O!Ciel or herself for being too blind to realize, I know O!Ciel is also blamed for lying to her in the first place, but let's not forget the two persons who made her doubt her feelings. She went too deep that she couldn't even know she actually loved R!Ciel or not, nor she could tell the difference between them.

I still can't understand this scene, but all I could understand is that if R!Ciel was the one who survived, would she be happy for this or she would have the same feeling when O!Ciel came back?. I still don't know but in my opinion, I guess it's the second option, that she would feel less happy, because the one who came back is the same person who told her that he dislike strong women, and she will have to force herself over again to hide her personality. If you guys thought about it for a moment, you would realize it would be the same thing for each one, R!Ciel and O!Ciel.

But what she meant when she said "if he hadn't lied" is what I can't understand yet. If O!Ciel hadn't lied to her, would she accept herself when he told her that he doesn't mind strong women?, would she accept that he treated her how she deserve?. I guess this might make sense, since O!Ciel lied to her about his real identity. We can tell it's his fault for now.

<To be counted□■□■□■□■♡♡♡

[ichirukilover]

I closed the door to Bl/each after the tragedy of 6/86 and briefly opened a window to LA, because well that pair is my weakness and it made me laugh how treacherously I/R it was.

So when weeks ago I saw a beautiful I/R fanart on Tik Tok (The anime came back, so the algorithm decided it was a good idea to torture me), and the response to a comment that said "They should have ended up together "was "READ THE MANGA", I was baffled. I mean, what did that mean? had I read a fake manga all those years and the "real manga" appeared Da Vinci Code-style after 2016? Was it all a Jump conspiracy? Have we been duped all this time?

That piqued my curiosity, so I wandered around several sites, reading publications from the "correct/canon/real manga" point of view; and well, you'll see even worse things the bible says.

Here are my favorites:

"The I/H was evident from the beginning, just read chapter 0": yes, because a one-shot that is a sketch of the general idea of a manga, that goes through many revisions and rewrites is absolutely determinant in the development of the main manga, and seriously, what exactly is the evidence?

"HM arc is the ultimate proof of I/H, he went to rescue her and even came back from the dead for her": well, so did her other friends and even R/enji and R/ukia, maybe they were all in love with her too. And about the resurrection...just...never mind.

"I/H are perfect for each other" Here I could do a whole essay from a psychological point of view that proves that it is an absolute fallacy and was more than clear in the FB arc, in real life they wouldn't work and would be a toxic couple. And God knows at least that boy needs therapy.

"O***ime looks like Ma/saki" * Bombastic side eye. Criminal, offensive side eye *

"O***ime deserves I/chigo”: Oh, so he was some kind of trophy for being a good girl, so it wasn't enough to objectify her, they also do the same with the boy.

"Ru/kia was a shinigami and I/chigo was a human, and she's much older than him, their relationship was impossible." *Everything but the rain entered the chat*.

"I/H fought together against Y/wach": And we all know how well they (he) did, right?

"W/D/k/A/L/Y": *sigh* that's what it looks like when you try to fix a mess and fail miserably.

"W/D/k/A/L/Y's scribble": ...

"Anime invented IR": The studio simply pushed something that was already implicit in the original material and they knew it would sell more, it's basic marketing. Most of us knew what was filler and what wasn't (rolls eyes).

And there definitely wasn't a parallel manga that magically made sense of that ending. What a disappointment.

And I/R are the delusional and lacking in compressive reading? It's so much easier to say you just don't like people ship I/R, instead of sending them to read the manga or giving lazy arguments. Pathetic.

This was long, but I just needed to vent or something, because I honestly found the whole situation absolutely hilarious.

My English is broken, so I hope I have been understood.

PS: So in my delusional mind I/R is right now enjoying his honeymoon on the beach *wink**wink*.

Blessings.

As someone that didn't leave after the ending and has seen all these "amazing points" take form and basically became the classic "IH and pro ending dudebro agenda" list, let me tell you, I was and still am baffled too. No matter how many times I read them, I still get shocked at how some really believe that bunch of BS, or better they keep repeating it untill they'll believe it.

You adressed them in a simple but direct and straight to the point way, I don't even need to add anything to what you said, agree to all of it, wait lol well maybe I could add the the pilot chapter lit has In0ue de0d at the end of it but what do we know, that doesn't seem to matter to them lol it doesn't have to make sense smh

In our delusional mind that ichiruki honeymoon on the beach is so vivid and real... I wonder why lmao

[nicomrade]

i said id maybe make a post about my faves i was rereading this year so here it is ^-^ the other ones i reread i already talked about in my 2022 reads post lmao... so heres 3 comedy high school mangas that i love so dearly. none r really niche i will admit but i dont read school life much

Skip To Loafer - Takamatsu Misaki (2018 - Present) a seinen romcom about this country girl moving to the big city and making friends :) its honestly so refreshing and a mature, nuanced look at interpersonal relationships and growing up. i love every character in this? i will not lie the romantic arc IS there but its also kind of not the point. or its equally the point as everything else?. relationship hierarchies are explicitely discussed in the manga actually which i wasnt expecting. uhm "rep-wise" mitsumis aunt is a trans woman and this is also treated seriously without being the only thing going on with her and i am getting lesbianbaited soooooo bad. read skip to loafer and remember that we are all the same people deep down

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun - Tsubaki Izumi (2011 - Present) the thing about nozaki-kun is that it understands perfectly the 4koma format. every page is its own bit, with a punchline every single time. nothing happens in nozaki-kun if its not funny- which means that all the romance development that happens, happens because its funny. i really need to emphasize this 1. nozaki kun is really fucking funny 2. there ARE developments in the character relationships, it is not a static manga and 3. each page has a punchline. read some mediocre 4koma and then understand how fucking good nozaki-kun is. its about this guy who is a shoujo manga author and this girl who has a crush on him and all the weirdos who know (or dont know) that nozakis a shoujo mangaka. that manga panel with the guy saying "read some shoujo manga and develop some emotions"? from nozaki-kun. just read it and understand the strength of 4koma done well.

Yugami-kun has no friends - Sakura Jun (2012-2019) what if i told you this school life shonen about a friendless guy and the girl who befriends him is not a romance? what if i told you yugami is autistic and treated with respect? what if i told you yugamis special interest is in rakugo? and what if yugami-kun was also really fucking funny. do you understand why this is one of my faves. the point of the manga is that social norms are fucking stupid and half the time you think someones rude its cause u are trying to force them in a situation they dont wanna be in. its fundamentally about meeting people halfway- one of the subplots is literally about how horrifying it is to have to keep up polite text conversation w someone you only vaguely know and how much both sides wish they could just stop texting without being "rude". and it transmits its deep love for rakugo better than [title censored for privacy] just read yugami-kun ok?

[ajzan]

Black Butler ch. 196: Theo, Nick and Ginny

After reading the synopsis of the most recent chapter, I’m fairly convinced that the F.O.L. Orphanage secret goal is to turn a child from Pomeranian Class into a substitute body for O!Ciel’s soul in order to save him from the contract. Surrounding potential hosts with elements and activities as much similar as possible to what our earl is used to is, I assume, to minimize the chance of internal conflict if the original host’s soul (or its remains or just muscle memory) stays in the body. The drama around pastries from the previous chapter supports this: different dish but the same ingredient, lemon.

And then there is Theo, the most prominent boy from Pomeranian Class. He would appear at this moment to be a candidate, but his attitude is more reminiscent of R!Ciel than O!Ciel. Same calm (and sus) expression and demeanor, strong sense of duty as an oldest brother and how whenever he appears he steals all the attention by being perfect.

Of all the children we have met so far, Nick is much closer to O!Ciel or at least how he was in the past or how he could be if it wasn’t for everything that happened to him. Nick is sweet, cheerful and doesn’t like being kept inside. The manga even supports this as when Nick was shown looking outside the window the same way O!C was in his flashbacks.

Kinda unrelated, but another thing that I’ve noticed but haven’t seen others pointing that out yet, is how Ginny from the Corgi Class looks similar to Lizzie. She has the same straight pigtails as Lizzie used to have during the Campania incident, although it was this way because they got wet. My guess is that Ginny just has naturally straight hair. She and Lizzie even had similar experiences. They didn’t want to practice something anymore out of fear (Lizzie’s was of becoming too strong and scaring her fiance while Ginny got traumatized by a horse accident), but were told that despite anything they must continue and eventually both girls did. Also Ginny being in the Corgi Class that specializes in physical activities is reminiscent of Lizzie’s strength and athleticism.

What do you think?

[blueiight]

noble fujoshi paladin... choose violence!!! for Utena (3, 9, 13, 19, 24, ik it's a lot so pick whatever u want)

3.) screenshot or description of the worst take u seen on tumblr

okay yk how tumblr will like throw random posts from ppl u dont follow on ur dash just cuz u post about a topic a lot? before i (somewhat) figured out how this app worked that feature tormented me. n i seen someone frame juri& shiori’s ending as if juri was being freed from some evil controlling abusive fake gay bitch when if anything, following the show’s ending juriori ends on somewhat of an optimistic note? u literally have ruka’s episode end with ‘wish as hard as u can, and they may know ur feelings’ with shiori walking behind juri and juri slowing down to let her catch up & shiori end up w/ a locket of her own in the badminton scene watching juri and utena play the game w/ envy. this isnt so much what that person thought so much as (read to me as) shiori coming to terms with her love for juri w/o wanting to ‘beat’ her at the game of vulnerability or ‘destroy the me in her glare’, and juri being open with herself in a way she before this never allowed herself to be. the juri we were introduced to dont wanna be saved, shes stewing in her own misery & simultaneously lords her own misery over other’s heads. she thinks shes better than the other duelists bc she has no immediate evident need for anthy, but believed her own feelings for shiori were so impossible to realize that a miracle (& anthy as the object of such, the facilitator of this ‘ miracle ‘) was needed to realize such. and that makes juri an amazing character. i find with juri especially that people tend to project their own pasts onto her which is fair but it dissuades them from analyzing her as a character in a narrative which is so sad cuz her arc w shiori (& ruka even) is so fascinating… the girls may have more in common w blueberry touga than they think in wanting to ‘save’ juri here lolol

13.) worst blorboficiation

i had to look up what that word meant LOL but i feel like fans dont talk about utena’s own arc w/ the same sophistication that they do the other characters which is crazy cuz its literally a show about her. its part of my own motivation for an eventual rewatch , bc her arc is so amazing but ppl just think shes a complete dumbass & a jock when shes really a teenage girl whos trapped n is the victor of all of the duelists bc she grows to become aware. of where she failed and is unafraid to face her flaws in a way very few characters r able to become cognizant toward. imo nanami was the closest to ‘revolution’ outside of utenanthy bc she was the closest to realizing her flaw but couldnt accept being ‘ordinary’ in a way utena did. and utena’s victory, their destruction of the castle + self deigned exit from the narrative in the finale spawns everyone else’s eventual path to liberation. shes just my little boy 🥲🥲🥲also everybody wants to be an anthy or utena girl but theyre more like juri or blueberry touga than they think. soz!

24.) topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

sexuality HCs + in a similar vein, racialization of these characters… also ppl who think bc their fav cartoon derived some aesthetic inspo from rgu or general shoujo looks that rgu is just a cute kid’s show lol. also also ppl who completely shit on the rgu manga& chiho saito like. do they know she worked on the anime??

[cookinguptales]

just thinkin...

that last comic has me thinkin about what I was like when I was thirteen and all the ways I was a fucking disaster. lmao

and honestly, I was a disaster when I got older, too. oh no.

(cut for length and because it's personal and because a few parts are a little tmi)

I grew up in an environment that was very religious, and no one talked about gay people around the children. I think the first time anyone even mentioned the existence of them around me was when I was in third grade and -- I'm not sure what the impetus was, actually, but our teacher talked to us about kids with same-sex parents. This was the same year Columbine happened, and I remember it being treated with pretty much the same level of seriousness.

(From what I remember, our teacher basically told us not to bully kids with gay parents because it wasn't their fault their parents were gay, but also -- wasn't it selfish, really, for those parents to force their children to get bullied? Wasn't it selfish to take away their children's ability to have a mother and a father? So basically it was better than a child being parentless, but not by much.)

But that was just a vague idea of gays as parents. To my knowledge, I had never actually met a gay person. I wasn't allowed to watch shows or read books that had gay people in them. (I didn't see my first rated-R movie until college!) I had only the vaguest idea of what being gay actually entailed.

It wasn't until... god, probably middle school that I actually figured that part out? We didn't learn about being gay when we had sex ed (that was literally just how tampons and babies work) but I heard whispers about it in the hallways. Usually in the form of insults.

And then I moved to a new state and a new school because we were homeless and a friend of my mother's in Florida was letting us couchsurf for a little while. I made some new friends who let me hang out at their house because I didn't really have a home to speak of. One of them was into fandom. She showed me slash fandom and yaoi manga and I was not impressed at first. I had a primal revulsion to it that I understand now was a fear of sex in general. Back then, being gay was understood to be primarily about sex, so gay romance in fiction seemed to me to be a sexualization in ways I wasn't yet ready for.

(See: a lot of but why are you ruining their relationship with sex?)

I warmed to it pretty quickly, though, for reasons it took me a little while to figure out. I developed an enormous crush on a mutual friend, which... helped me figure it out a little faster. I think I needed to see a depiction of gay relationships before I could conceptualize them as an option for myself. Not a good option, necessarily, but an option nevertheless.

I was... awkward. My friend and I kind of engaged in a little bit of gay chicken that ended in me realizing I was gay and her realizing she was straight and uncomfortable with our awkward almost-flirting. I remember crying a lot, not because I was upset that she didn't return my feelings but because I'd made her uncomfortable. It was the first time I felt like a predator for having a crush on a girl, but it wouldn't be the last.

We got past it and became good friends. I was so, so in love with her. But I think... it was a defense mechanism, probably. I was comfortably in love with a person who I never expected to love me back, and I could say the reason for that was that she was straight. It was a way for me to avoid ever being genuinely rejected, I think, for me rather than my reproductive organs, but also a way to avoid thinking about dating too seriously.

See, if I had a reason why I could never reasonably expect her to love me back, I didn't have to interrogate why I subconsciously believed that no one would ever love me back.

(It was a cocktail of religious damage, internalized homophobia, self-esteem issues, and very, very, very deep revulsion surrounding my body and my disability. I'm still working on that part, but the days are hard!)

Anyway, when I was first trying to figure out my sexuality, I decided that I was pan. Now, I don't want to bag on anyone who IDs as pan, but it was a very unhealthy thing for me personally. For me, the "hearts not parts" and "I don't see gender/sex, I just fall in love" was a way to desexualize myself. It wasn't about yucky sex! It wasn't about being gay! I just fell for people in a pure way! I just cared about their souls!

And if all the souls just happened to reside in women, that was just a coincidence!

(Friends, I was gay as all hell.)

Then for a while I IDed as bi, and I don't think that I wasn't, necessarily. I did get crushes on a few boys that I literally never talked to, and I thought about sex with male celebrities sometimes. I don't want to discredit any of that. But I never once fell for a guy and -- well, I won't get into anything TMI, but let's just say that there are a lot of physical reasons why PIV sex wouldn't be fun for me. My body is fucked up in a beautiful myriad of ways. :')

Plus, just... honestly, I had a lot of bad experiences with male friends as well as guys who wanted to date. In the end, I realized that I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop -- and who can build a relationship like that? So I just gave up on even trying with men, tbh. It didn't seem worth it, especially because at that point I could admit to myself that I preferred women and the occasional nb person anyway.

I just go by queer these days. It's easier than trying to parse through it all. lmao.

But... I mean, even when I figured out that I was like queer queer and wanted to date and have sex with and be with a woman forever, I still had a lot of internalized homophobia. I was considered annoyingly woke where I came from because I believed that gay people weren't, like, innately awful, but I still bought into ideas about how gay relationships were second-class, how we couldn't expect to get married, etc.

When I went to college, a lot of that changed. I was finally able to study a lot of subjects that had been forbidden to me as a kid, and it really opened up my mind and how I thought about religion, politics, sexuality, etc. (And I'm so sorry for everyone who had to know me as a teenager.) And that's when I started to become so politically liberal that... uhhh there were a lot of screaming matches between me and my family when I'd come home for breaks. We're good now, but there was a time when we... were not...

So... okay. I'm coming up on twenty years old, I am politically active, I know I am queer of some variety, I know I believe women should be able to marry women. But that was -- honestly, I think even then, that was a thing I thought of being a right I was fighting for for the sake of fellow queer people. Not me.

I was still comfortably in love with one of my best friends, still comfortably believing that no one would ever love me, still comfortably believing that my body precluded me from a sexual relationship with... anyone, really.

I ended up having a very messy breakup with my core friends group. The friend I was in love with told me that my illnesses made me difficult to plan around. That I always made everything so "complicated".

I am not always an easy person to get along with, and I understand that. My disability intensifies that. There's this idea in our culture that a disabled person can be loved, on rare occasion, if their personality and/or ability is just so fucking incredible that their very patient lover can look past their decrepit body.

I'm kind of a bitch sometimes, though, so the idea of anyone looking past the fact that I can't even shower without passing out sometimes seemed kind of hard to swallow.

But ohhhhhh if being called "complicated" and difficult right after our plans had been fucked up because I was at the doctor.... if that didn't fuck me right up.

In the end, it was probably for the best. Like I said, I was using my crush on her as a defense mechanism, and I recognize now how that friends group was making a lot of my insecurities worse -- and playing into my ideas that I could never expect people to love me while I was sick.

They didn't, after all.

So that forced me to grow some. I'm literally in my midtwenties by this point, mind. Never even considered dating at all. It was getting kind of dire. At this point it had become kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I wasn't putting myself out there, so no one wanted me, so I thought there was no point in putting myself out there, etc.

(Note: I am actually fairly sure a couple people were interested in this period, but I was so convinced that I was unlovable (and unfuckable) that I didn't even notice! Alas.)

Um... I guess reading theory by disability rights activists ended up helping in the long run. Making new friends that didn't ditch me when I was too sick to go to the movies helped, too. (The first time I had to cancel dinner plans with a friend and instead of getting annoyed and going without me like I was expecting, she asked me if I wanted her to bring soup -- I cried!) Slowly learning to demand space for myself in a world that wasn't going to offer it up on its own. That all helped.

I stopped letting my school gaslight me so much. That helped. (That's... a whole other rabbit hole.) I started getting therapy for the fact that I was constantly covered in bruises as a child. The excuse that I "bruised easy" was true! That ended up being a hallmark of one of my many illnesses. But the fact that I had a family member who was beating the living shit out of me, often with objects, sure didn't help. And there were... other things, too. These days, I have to be kind to myself and admit there might be some reasons I always had a hard time trusting people. But also that that wariness, though it protected me at the time, has outlived its usefulness now.

I don't know. As I grow older, I feel like I'm constantly peeling away layers of an onion. Figuring out the traumas that shaped me and trying to work through them, grow past them. But under it all, I'm still just an onion, y'know? It's hard to tell myself that, well, some people like onions.

I'm still not particularly good at dating, but I do try. These days it's less believing that I'm not deserving of love and more just... generic... fuck, dating apps suck kind of bullshit. I'll admit it's still hard for me not to kind of "talk myself down" when I like a girl. Oh, don't come on too strong, don't assume she might like you back, don't make her uncomfortable, don't ruin a good thing with being dumb, why would she like you anyway, etc.

At this point, even if a girl doesn't like me back -- I'm not gonna get mad at myself for having hope, and I'm not going to force myself to talk shit about myself. No more of this "don't expect her to like you" nonsense, because like. Parts of me are pretty okay, maybe.

(Holy shit, though, dating apps suck so bad. And even if you actually make it through to a date, first dates also suck so bad! Why is dating so hard? lmao)

Anyway, I try not to project too many of my own issues onto fandom (that way lies madness and, worse, badfic) but I have to admit there are times when I look at Guillermo de la Cruz and sigh because. Bro, I feel you. I am also in my early 30s and just starting to navigate a dating scene that I didn't feel entitled to as a teenager and young adult. We have different damage, but I recognize a few too many of my own issues in him. And I get how hard it is to approach these things late.

But, y'know, I may not be learning that I'm a badass vampire slayer or whatever, but your thirties are... easier, I think. I feel the tangles inside me starting to ease a little bit. It's a little easier to look at the parts of me that are good and imagine someone admiring them. The things that seemed important when I was younger feel less important now. I feel like now I am able to prize kindness and patience in myself as well as others, and that felt like a thing that I could only admire in my friends when I was younger.

So... I don't know. There isn't a point to all this, really. This isn't a fanfic or a comic and I don't have a nice kiss to put at the end to tie things up in a bow. I'm still kind of a disaster. But I kind of miss being able to get my thoughts out on a digital page in a deeply self-indulgent way, so why not?

[bringerofdeathandtheapocolypse]

I have further reason to insanely dislike those news sites that make like 50 top tens a day.

I was basically looking for some pics of where Nirvana was hidden for the story so I could figure out how to transition characters walking through a forest to those old ruins when I came across an article ranking the ten dumbest villain plans in the show and oh boy, I am convinced they either A. didn't read/watch the show, b. skimmed through it or c. purposefully cut out important key details to make some of those plans sound dumb.

Daphne being on the list doesn't bother me but oh boy some of the others do.

They several times bring up how its dumb for villains to want to resurrect Zeref when he isn't dead like it isn't established that very few people know that information. Neither Avatar nor Jellal (both in the list) knew that information.

They also say that its dumb for Jellal to want to build the R-system and mention how he was never possessed by Zeref but completely negate to mention that he was influenced by Ultear which was why his personality did a sudden 180.

They say its dumb the Seiz want to cause Chaos when its literally a case of they are angry at the world for the trauma they went through and were being led by a man who didn't care to have them healthily address their trauma. Some people angry at the world will lash out in similar ways (minus the magic of course)

Rogue's plan was apparently dumb because there was no way 7 dragons would be able to defeat Acnologia, completely ignoring the fact that Rogue planned to have 10,000 dragons but Lucy and Yukino closed the gate which caused him to have to rework. They also state that its dumb that he wouldn't care about killing anyone in his path but in the same paragraph already mentioned how he had been swallowed by darkness and we already saw in the same arc that the shadow is very willing to kill when it wanted to kill Gajeel.

They say how its dumb for Faust to want everlasting magic in a world where its fading. Its not dumb for him to want something that would benefit him or his kingdom. That was his motive. What made him the villain was that he was willing to kill people from another world and the exceeds to get that magic. That doesn't make it dumb.

And by far the one I am the most annoyed by, "Acnologia just wants destruction". Firstly, they get a basic fact wrong by saying "audiences were able to sympathise at first" when talking about his backstory which is completely false. His first mention is after he maimed Gildarts and first appearance where he destroys Tenrou island. We never get a backstory in the manga and the anime one isn't until the last few episodes. The closest thing to back story before that is Zirconis saying that Acnologia was once human before becoming a dragon and when he sympathises with a little girl in dragon cry. That's it. And even then, Acnologia was never motivated by just destruction. He was betrayed by a dragon he trusted and then immediately went into a war against them with no chance to healthily cope with his trauma and emotions which he turned into anger that was directed at dragons which was followed by 400 years of isolation with maybe a couple interactions every so often with Zeref or someone else. And 1. he didn't seek out Gildarts, he accidently stumbled on the location that Acnologia was staying at and the dragon attacked. We at least know the immense magic on tenrou was what attracted him that time, maybe the multiple dragon slayer magic being used since Wendy, Laxus, Gajeel and Natsu were all in the one place for the first time two of them used secret arts. He showed up in Tartarous because of END and stayed because of the dragons and came in Alvarez because of the slayers in the area since all of them were fighting and he made it clear when he killed God Serena that was what he was after and then later gathered the remaining 7 because he needed them to stabilise his body when his soul and body split. He had reasons for showing up every time and always had something he focused on. He only destroyed stuff in the end of Alvarez because his body and soul were split. His goal was always dragons and slayers(possibly because he didn't know their seeds were thwarted so just saw them as dragons since they would become dragons eventually like he did)

God I went on there. I just had a lot to say about this article.

[cavefilllingcorporation]

The Dark side to the Magnus Project

Magnus walked down the hall reading his manga, not caring to watch for those mere employees coming through the hallway. He was the head of the R&D department, what were they going to do about it? Magnus was specifically walking towards one of the rooms that the investors met in to discuss the success of his project, a non-silicon-based computer system, one that could avoid situations where magic would cause circuitry to go haywire.

Of course, he couldn’t just thank himself for the success of this project. He owed the idea to the manga he was reading. The manga itself was about a female protagonist named Alia who found a world with an AI powered by a non-silicon-based system. The girl first worked on the AI out of curiosity, but then realized that the AI was a hostile one, who destroyed its creators since it knew there was a non-zero chance that they would end up destroying it one way or another and was going to do the same to her and Earth. It was only through navigating the obstacles that the AI set before her, repairing its systems more and more, and eventually, giving it a conscious that the AI managed to come to reason, and helped her bring a new age of technology.

Magnus liked the manga somewhat, though he knew it was not anime worthy. While the AI was fun and unique, he found Alia’s character design and personality to be too flat for his liking. The protagonist wasn’t interesting in any way, shape, or form. Of course, she didn’t matter, as she was merely the catalyst for his genius. Ony a genius could take a purely fictional concept and bring it to reality. This is surely why the investors were going to meet with him personally. Maybe he was heading to an auditorium to be praised for his genius.

However, as he stepped into the room, he realized too late that this wasn’t the auditorium that was going to give him praise that he was hoping for, nor was it even a normal meeting room where he could be congratulated by the investors personally. It was a dark room, with the only light coming from it was the entrance and the dim screen that was raised above the only seat in the room. This room was only meant for very specific occasions, when an important individual was to be confronted negatively by investors or some other higher up. Before he could react, the door behind him slammed shut, leaving him trapped in the room. Not that he could have escaped either way. He got himself caught in this trap the moment he stepped into the door, running away would only mean more consequences.

He nervously sat in the chair in the middle of the room, while the screen transitioned to one of the shadows of the investors looking down upon him. There weren’t that many investors, not yet, so there was less than a half-dozen people in the room, and all were covered in darkness, unable to make out any particular faces in the room. However, it was clear that the other investors were only going to be spectators, as the CEO rose to start speaking. However, his fear growing into indignation, he decided to make sure he got the first word in:

“What is the meaning of this?!? Is this how you treat one of your best geniuses? The one who created a new backup system for your ships?”

The CEO, after allowing his rant to finish, then spoke in a smooth yet cold voice:

“Yes, and we thank you for your services. However, there were some… issues regarding that project that need to be addressed. A lot of issues.”

Magnus once again grew indignant. What issues? His project was perfect! What flaws did they have with his… probably not a magnus opus, he wasn’t that vain, but a good project nonetheless!

“For one, your project went well overbudget, and when presented with the problem, you chose to pull funds that were supposed to go to our art teams.”

Magnus couldn’t believe it. This is what they were mad about? He probably used those funds much better than those idiots could have. Seriously, building “artistic greenhouses” and those ugly mosaics were a waste of space. Making those artists draw superhero comics would be a far better use of their time than whatever garbage they produced now.

“Second, the project went over the time you said would be needed to complete it.”

Magnus then retorted:

“I said the project would be completed in a week! And I sent out 7 daily reports on progress!”

The CEO, raising his voice for the first time during the meeting, responded in kind:

“That was because we had to give our engineers and scientists two days to recover from you overworking and being overbearing on them! That’s the third issue we have, which could be enough to see you fired! And we are having reports that you did not take the hint and continued to oppress them!”

Magnus then froze, not quite in fear, but perhaps more in apprehension. It wasn’t his fault his engineers couldn’t solve those three issues, not that he could either but that was beside the point!

The CEO then spoke again, calmer than the recent outburst, but still not as calm as before.

“Fourth, after your engineers hit a brick wall, you decided to outsource the work to different corporations.”

Magnus had a response to that accusation, a good one too, though he was sure not to yell it out as he had done before.

“The companies we had were too small and had too little information to recreate our projects. Besides, how else was I supposed to finish this in time?”

“That is not the issue we have. The issue is doing this behind our back and not telling us about it until we conducted an investigation!”

The CEO once again calmed down from that outburst, ready to give the final issue they had, one that would be crushing towards the egotistical head of R&D.

“Our final issue though is with the performance of the machine. It was not what we were promised.”

Magnus’s blood began to boil upon hearing those words. Sure, maybe he went overtime and overbudget. Maybe he didn’t treat his workers the best. Maybe kept a few secrets here and there. But they were all in service to a perfect, functioning product! How dare they imply that he was a horrible inventor!

“That project works perfectly to what I promised! What extreme expectations for this thing do you have!”

“For one, having a product that doesn’t constantly break down. Second, a product isn’t based on gravity, thus becoming unusable in space and having different speeds on different worlds.”

Just as he thought: overly high expectations. Did the first silicon-based computers not constantly break down? This was just the first model, of course it would become better! And the gravity issue was a non-issue! In space, the effects of silicon-breaking magic would practically be non-existent, and most worlds that the corporation interacted with had the standard gravity of approximately 10 m/s.

“And finally, a product that works in the conditions promised.”

What? What on earth did he mean by that? Before he could ask though, the CEO answered for him.

“You promised that this computation system would function in worlds where silicon-based computers would fail, while most of the computers use your unique systems, they are still connected together with traditional wiring. Did you not stop to think that in worlds where computers can’t exist, electricity wouldn’t exist either?”

He… did not. How did he miss that fact. HOW DID HE MISS IT! His face whitened. He was inadequate in the Corporation’s eyes. He was going to lose his title, his job, everything that made him, him. He couldn’t go back to being a lowly engineer, to have somebody above him who wouldn’t see his genius. He can’t!

The CEO then surprisingly leaned forward, stepping out of the shadow, leaning in to make a more human connection.

“But you’re are brilliant man Magnus, and I’d hate to see that brilliance go to waste. But your ego needs to be put in check. Until then, I cannot allow you to create new projects like this. So, for the coming month, you are forbidden from pitching more projects. Though perhaps if you prove your dedication is to your work and not yourself, I might agree to a shortening it.”

The compliment flew right over Magnus’s head, disappearing the moment the words ‘ego’ landed in his ears. He didn’t have an ego problem, they just couldn’t understand his genius, that’s their problem! He then snapped back:

“Then what I am supposed to do? Sit around and do nothing!?!”

The CEO, clearly irritated at the lack of appreciation for the grace he was giving, responded coldly.

“No, you will do what R&D is supposed to do: produce products to improve the performance of the inner workings of the corporation and for sale.”

A chamber then slid open, revealing four pamphlets, containing different robot designs.

“The Founders have made a unanimous decision to produce these robots to improve the ship manufacturing process. They will either be put to work in the factories or will be sold to provide materials for the ships. It’s approximately half and half. That will be your next assignment for now.”

After that, the door opened, beckoning Magnus to walk out with the pamphlets in hand. But just when he walked through the doorway, the CEO then called out to him:

“Oh, just so that you are aware: This is an act of mercy. A large act of mercy. Forget the bad performance in the field, if you act so brash and brazen at one of these meetings again…”

The CEO then leaned back into the shadows before finishing:

“…You may lose more than just your position.”

With that, the door behind him slammed shut again. Instead of being fearful though, and vowing to change like he was supposed to, the message was the final straw for him: The corporation didn’t appreciate his genius. If he was supposed to get the things he deserved, finishing these robot designs wasn’t going to be enough… He had work to do.

[crimes-at-4dimes]

Well, as of today, there are 12 episodes of jaku character tomozaki kun, and in the 12th episode, I feel tomozaki fumbled hard by choosing fuka over mimimi.(Extreme Cope)

Let me explain why mimimi is a better heroine or more suited to tomozaki than Fuka

1. So, whenever, we see tomozaki becoming self depreciating, or say harsh thing about himself, mimimi would always confront him, and would say kind things to him, whereas fuka would be like :🗿

2.mimimi genuinely loves tomozaki and she expressed it in solid words, whereas fuka would be like:🗿(Many of you may argue that fuka is a introvert, hence she could not confess to tomozaki as of now but you what? Its take the same courage for everyone to say the 3 magical words to your loved one, everyone feels scared of rejection or embarrassment.)

3. Fuka as of now doesn't have defining personality, that would make her character definite or robust, I mean by this I want to tell you that fuka is heavily relied on external factors for her help, but mimimi atleast tries to be independent or tries to help herself.( If you think this point doesn't make sense, then you definitely have not read punpun, because goodnight punpun is my all time favourite Romance-comedy manga🌚, and in it there is a quote that I absolutely loved, it goes like this "A love to lick each others wound is ugly", it means love in which couples heavily dependent on each other is not good, and that's some how I see fuka and tomozaki relation as of now)

But many may say that, mimimi could get a boyfriend anytime but fuka wouldn't....

So, I want to ask you, why can't fuka get a boyfriend? She is cute, she is quite, she reads books, she is a typical dream girl of boys, but why isn't she popular like mimimi or like other girls, and I think being introvert doesn't work as excuse, I have seen many girls like fuka, who are popular but you know why fuka isn't, it because she can't Express herself, she can't understand herself begin with where as mimimi understand her convoluted feelings and try to accept herself, and hence she didn't cried after the rejection from tomozaki, she is mature but do you really think fuka can overcome rejection or wouldn't cry when she is pushed down.....

My father said once, that in a romantic relationship, 1+1=2 wouldn't work but where relation becomes 1+1=11, it is relation for life.

Thank you for reading all this rant about my feeling, thanks.

(AND SOMEONE PLEASE POST THIS ON R/ANIME, because I just recently got banned on reddit, lol)

[pyropsychiccollector]

Natsu Harem: Fairy GET! 14/14

Made it to the end of this little carnival ride.... (人◕ω◕) As far as you guys know. More on that later, though~

Who could I possibly round out this group with? Gee, I wonder who it could be? (人◕ω◕) Sorry. If you've followed me at all over the years, you know I'd never leave Erza-chan out. Erza Scarlet~...

Is it predictable? I don't care. I'm violently opposed to Jerza for... many reasons. But I'll leave it at that cuz I've talked about it loads in the past. I was there when the manga was ongoing, and NaLi and Natza were dunked on very frequently. Natza is the progenitor of my Natsu ships, the "Naezono" if you will. ... Though I was into Fairy Tail way before Dangan. So it's probably the other way around. (人◕ω◕) All you need to know is, Jellal is one of my least favorite characters ever, and it's not really the good kind of, "I hate this guy." Cuz there's guys like Kotaro from Assassination Classroom, villains we're supposed to loathe... And they can still be satisfyingly evil. ... Jellal tried to go the redemption route, and he just bombed. And I'm under no obligation to spend time "fixing" him to my liking, so these days I just leave Jerza fans to their corner while decrying my own personal reasons for why I despise that pairing. My time is better spent with the glory of Natza and other Natsu ships.

... With the exception of Nalu, which I avoid like the plague. Because Lucy H is right up there with characters I just can't stand. Easiest thing for me to do is to pretend she doesn't exist, and wrest control of the plot from her since, from where I stand, she frankly has very little impact to events... She's literally there for the fanservice and the Nalu Stans. I wash my hands of Lucy H. (人◕ω◕)

Alright. That's enough of my soapbox stuff. Let's just get to it. (人◕ω◕)

When did they meet?

Of all the girls in the harem, Erza can be said to be the first to have met him. (人◕ω◕) Erza arrived at Fairy Tail in X776, banished from the R-System by Jellal and threatened to never breathe a word of its continued existence - or he'd kill their friends. She lost an eye during that tragedy, and had to get a replacement from Porlyusica. Erza was... pretty guarded for her first couple years in the guild, being rather stern and no-nonsense, even at her young age.

A year later in X777... Natsu arrives, and it's not as if Erza warmed up to him right away. It took time. Erza had a harsh childhood as a slave in the R-System, and she constantly fretted over her old friends, being careful to stick to Jellal's demands. Making new friends and moving on was... rough. Yet Erza did manage, eventually growing fond of Natsu and Gray... even if she had to constantly intercede in their fights. ... And a year later in X778 had to put up with Mirajane as her own rival...

Still, there was something about Natsu that drew Erza in. (人◕ω◕) All his talk about being raised by a dragon, Erza probably didn't believe it at first... As far as she knew, dragons were extinct. But considering her own circumstances as a former slave, she could never rule out his stories for certain. The same went for Gray and his tragedies with Deliora... Erza could tell they were all affected on some level by their experiences, with Natsu probably being the best off because he just wanted to find his dad... But that was fine. For Erza, it wasn't some contest who was more deeply scarred. What likely had an impact on her was Natsu's never-give-up attitude. Even if he was rambunctious and tried picking fights with Gildarts, their guild's Ace... Erza liked his positive attitude, regardless if he was a handful or not. (人◕ω◕) That's why she took it on herself to watch over him... and teach him to read. Which we all know Natsu loved sooo much. (人◕ω◕)

Even more than that... In those first few years, Erza decided she liked Natsu so much that she wanted to be a team with him. (人◕ω◕) Sure, she could easily go for the S-Class trials at the tender age of fifteen in X780... But in this alternate universe, she decides not to. She prioritizes training Natsu up until they're both ready, and they manage it in X782. ... Even if it takes threatening Master's porn stash. (人◕ω◕)

Erza can see that the loss of Lisanna that same year impacted Natsu a great deal, not to mention Mira, Elfman, and all their friends... But Erza and Natsu both agreed the best thing they can do is become S-Class and protect the friends they have left. Which they manage to pull off. And Gray follows in their footsteps a year later. (人◕ω◕)

When did they grow closer?

This sets the stage for the present, when they run into Lucy in Hargeon~... (人◕ω◕) By this point, Natsu and Erza are pretty good friends, and despite Erza still being rather strict, Natsu has helped her to enjoy life at the least~... Go out on adventures. Protect Fairy Tail's honor... Handing posers like Bora over to the Rune Knights. (人◕ω◕) Lucy is overwhelmed in meeting the real Salamander, although.... (人◕ω◕);;;

For some reason, Erza keeps giving her the stinkeye whenever she tries to help take a gentler approach with Natsu on transportation. (人◕ω◕);;; Natsu can take a punch to the gut. Surely? It's the fastest way to alleviate him of the queasiness of motion sickness. And besides, he likes resting in Erza's lap. The knight asserts this as fact. Lucy should mind her own business. (人◕ω◕)

Still, Lucy is generally welcomed to the guild by Team Natsu... Erza's just a bit hands-on with keeping Natsu in line and taking care of his needs. Natsu requires a firm, authoritative hand. (人◕ω◕) Soon enough they go to take down Eisenwald, then resolve that mess on Galuna Island, then that spat with Phantom Lord...

And eventually, the time comes to clean out the skeletons in Erza's closet. (人◕ω◕) She's not eager to drag Natsu and Gray into her mess... But they're both too stubborn to be turned away, Natsu especially refuses to let Jellal hang over Erza's head a moment longer. It's... Well, the battle is pretty intense, and Natsu and Erza both nearly don't make it a couple of times - particularly when abandoning the crumbling tower... But Simon gets them out of there, though Jellal seemingly fell to his demise.

As a result, Erza's past is... mostly laid to rest. Her old friends are saved and join Fairy Tail. Her one regret is not saving Jellal... though for the life of him, Natsu can't figure out why Erza spares time mourning the guy that betrayed her and tried sacrificing her... Jellal might have killed her friends if given the chance, and it didn't seem possible to negotiate with the guy. Natsu for his part could never forgive Jellal for hurting Erza... But even with this lingering regret of Erza's, she is grateful for Natsu sticking up for her and helping close this chapter on her life. (人◕ω◕)

Their bond grows stronger in the Battle of Fairy Tail arc, when taking down Laxus and the Thunder Palace... But soon after that, the mission to crush Oracion Seis happens, and... Jellal was revived. ... Much to Natsu's displeasure. (人◕ω◕)*** Erza keeps trying to resolve things with Jellal, circumventing Natsu's attempts to deal with the guy before he hurts Erza again... She's too attached to this idea she has of who Jellal was, as a kid. Erza believes she can bring that scarred kid back... and Natsu doesn't believe it will be that simple.

Jellal is arrested after Nirvana is wiped out, and Oracion Seis taken down. This ends up souring the victory a bit for Natsu... Cuz Erza's still depressed, and hung up on that guy. He wants to be there for Erza, but she's not ready yet to "move on" from Jellal... It's frustrating, but Natsu bottles up his bitterness. Jellal did try helping take down Oracion Seis... Natsu just can't forgive the guy for hurting Erza, for continuing to let Erza drown in sorrow and regrets.

Edolas comes and goes... The Tenrou trials are broken up by Grimoire Heart's invasion. And... because Fairy Sphere had to be invoked to save them from Acnologia, they missed out on seven years with the guild. It's a harsh future they come back to, with the guild hanging on by a thread due to not having the manpower to keep handling the tough jobs. Other guilds have risen to prominence in the meanwhile. And the Tenrou team needs to catch up to the rest of the world, having the same strength as seven years ago.

Natsu and Erza are no strangers to training hard... They thrive on it. ... But unfortunately for Natsu, Crime Sorciere approaches them, wishing to work with them to deal with a presence similar to Zeref. It's unfortunate because Jellal seems to be running that gang, and Erza gets caught up in the misery interacting with Jellal after seven years...

Natsu's not happy about it. Especially not when, after the resolution of the Grand Magic Games and the dragon invasion, Jellal joins the guild... To keep from thinking about it, Natsu throws himself into other interactions. There's a lot of new faces in the guild these days, and he wants to pal around with the old faces, too. He and Erza are still good friends, just... If he hangs around Jellal too much, he's bound to say or do something that will put himself in hot water with Erza. He's trying to "give Jellal a chance", the issue is that Jellal remains this hollow shell of a man. Even after being pardoned, even after Erza keeps saying she forgives him... Jellal is so empty and depressed, feeling "unworthy" of this new life. No one else in Crime Sorciere or Hydra Roots is as miserable as Jellal; a few might be grumpy about joining Fairy Tail, but they've all more or less accepted it... Jellal is just a sore spot for Natsu, and he keeps bottling up his issues...

They eventually deal with Tartaros. ... Natsu loses Igneel. And to deal with his deep sadness, he was prepared to go on a training trip alone, but the Strauss Siblings had other ideas and took him with them - informing the Dragon Slayer about the guild's disbandment. Natsu feels bad about leaving all their other friends to do their own thing... But they resolve to round everyone back up after a year. Give everyone time to collect themselves after that debacle with Tartaros~...

It figures that Erza and Jellal would be working together with the Council, when Natsu reunites with her a year later. He's still bitter about Erza dwelling on the guy... But apparently they're not "together" together. While various other women keep Natsu's spirits up and his thoughts off of Erza's thing with Jellal... He can't fully extricate himself from that situation. Much less when Erza still comes around, turning girls away from Natsu and insisting they have training and catching up to do... Erza and Mira especially get into it.

But Natsu... He just keeps brute-forcing through the pain and acting like nothing's wrong. Sure, it stings a bit that Erza's turning the other girls away at times... But he can see that it's not so cut and dry. Jellal's important to her, but so's Natsu. And... Natsu can't deny Erza's important to him, too. (人◕ω◕) He just wishes he could figure out why he's lingering on Jellal so much~... Why it "matters" who Erza cares for most. He just can't figure that out. ... Though Mira, Ultear, Meredy, and some others have long since puzzled that out, even when they're at war with Alvarez. (人◕ω◕)

When did friendship turn to something more?

Natsu and Erza's relationship is certainly... Well. (人◕ω◕) It's one of those "spontaneous" situations that I've brought up in prior posts. But here's why it took until after Alvarez to sort out their feelings for each other: ... Jellal. Simply... Jellal. (人◕ω◕)***

Erza has long wrestled with romance. She's latched onto every book she can get her hands on to learn about it, but it's a concept that's so immersive and hard to comprehend. For the longest time, she thought that the reason she was stuck on Blueberry was because she loved him... And perhaps as a child, she did have a crush. (人◕ω◕) However, as adults, seeing Jellal so down all the time after the various conflicts they've been through together... Erza came to see Jellal as her responsibility to "fix", to cheer him up...

But after so many failures, Erza came to realize something. She's not... happy doing all the work in this "relationship" with her childhood crush. Even after so much effort, the guy's barely plodding along... Hardly ever takes jobs unless there's a significant threat (not to mention, more than a few times he tries sacrificing himself to resolve conflicts), and in-between work he's just... so lost. Unsure of what he should be doing, constantly doubting if he's worthy of having friends... Everyone else in the guild has essentially welcomed him, though most give Jellal his space to sort things out himself. Aside from Erza, Meredy and Simon are the ones giving more of an effort to help Jellal move on with his life... Master Makarov tried bestowing his wisdom, but Erza can't be sure if it soaked in for Jellal...

Eventually, after much trial and error... They work out Jellal does better on the Council. He's accepted as a secretary, and the work keeps him... occupied. Jellal is more responsive now whenever Erza finds the time to speak with him, but he hasn't made much progress in the way of his personal life. He's a busybody, and he's never given much thought to a relationship with anyone.

On the one hand, this relieves Erza somewhat, as she's been coming to the realization she doesn't love Jellal... Not like that. He was a "project" for her, wanting to help her old friend... But he's drastically different from the idealized picture she had in her head of who "Jellal" is. A part of her is let down that friends is all they'll ever be... But conversely, she can now turn her attention to Natsu, who she's been a bit concerned about. Despite his smiles and easygoing attitude, he was always tense whenever Jellal came up as a topic, giving Erza a somewhat wide berth...

... And Erza doesn't like that. Natsu's special to her, and she wants the Dragon Slayer to confide in her, like how she trusts him with everything she wrestles through. Shortly after Jellal's transferred to the Council, Natsu does open up to her... And it all leaves Erza pretty flabbergasted and feeling whiplash from so many emotions all at once in her head...

Natsu still hadn't forgiven Jellal for hurting her as a child. He went all this time trying to honor her feelings, tried getting along with Jellal for his sake... But he just couldn't let it go. Natsu could see how depressed Erza was whenever Jellal was around, how attached she seemed to be to the guy... And despite unloading all of this on Erza because she asked, the Dragon Slayer was expecting to be hit or punished or whatever Erza needed to do...

Erza was angry Natsu held all this in for so long. ... Or maybe she was just annoyed.

She was angry he resented Jellal...

Yet she understood why, considering he kept asserting it was because she was hurt and miserable...

She was sad he expected violence for just speaking his mind.

She was touched that he cared about her so much.

In the end, Erza hugs it out with Natsu and stumbles upon some revelations, herself. (人◕ω◕) She could understand Natsu's frustrations at seeing her dwelling on another guy... After all, the same kind of ire rose up whenever she saw other girls hanging off of him... Erza didn't want Natsu hurting anymore, and she didn't want to just be his friend. They'd been past that stage for a long time now... Erza was just too caught up in distractions and not processing her tenderhearted feelings for the Dragon Slayer that she was so proud of and loved so much~... (人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕)(人◕ω◕)

When Erza muses all this, it clicks for Natsu as well. He does love her. That's why he was bothered all this time... And it's nice to hug it out with Erza without her armor getting in the way. \(人◕ω◕)/ ... Sure, they'll have to talk about all the other... interested parties. Hash things out with all those other girls.

But Natsu doesn't wanna give up on a single one of them, much to Erza's chagrin. (人◕ω◕) They will make this work. ... Even if sometimes Erza-chan wants to rip off Mira-chan's head, or vice versa~... They don't always get along. But they can be all one big, happy family~.... Really. (人◕ω◕)

Fourteen's a nice round number... right? (人◕ω◕) Surely there wouldn't be any more surprises.

[sueske]

Helloooo, I actually don't have much following you but you're views of nsn give me life 💞

This is actually the first time I come to your ask box (probably won't be the last lol) anyways. I was scrolling through Instagram and a reel popped up, it was the scene where Madara and Obito extend Naruto a hand for them to join them and then Hinata slaps Naruto, and the reel said "if it weren't for Hinata, Naruto would be joining Obito" which is crazy to me bc first Naruto would never, doesn't go with his character and all that he's been through at that point, and second, I don't think Hinata actually has any sort of influence on Naruto, much less stopping him from becoming a villain, but I actually like to hear your view on this 👀

Hope your doing good ✨

hi! hope u r doing well too, and thanks for the nice message!

now onto the ask... i went and re-read the chapter and u r absolutely right. the people that say the above are trying to overplay hinata’s importance to naruto. can you blame them? The manga gives their ship nothing but scraps so they’ll latch onto every scene and try to blow it out of proportion. in the actual manga there is no basis for those statements. firstly, there was never a point in the whole chapter that suggested naruto was ready to 'cave in’ and join obito. nothing at all. and secondly, it wasn’t just hinata’s words that made naruto snap out of it. 

naruto was shocked and upset cuz neji just died in front of him, along with other comrades. and obito cut naruto where it hurt deepest - he referenced naruto's own personal nightmare, loneliness. so naruto's obviously upset and hangs his head down. then obito extends his hand out... but naruto never says anything/does anything that implies that he was gonna join them.

again, right after obito says that and asks naruto to join him, naruto gives no indication of wanting to go over to his side. none whatsoever... we don’t even see his face. but what does hinata do? she slaps him. i understand why she did it, to get naruto to snap out of his sadness. but the way Kishimoto portrayed this here is very important, because of a scene later on in the arc that I'll talk about later. 

anyways, there's no way hinata could influence naruto on that scale. she couldn't even influence him to cheat on a test LOL. during the chuunin exams, in the war arc - whenever naruto did something because of hinata it was in relation to neji. naruto made the decision to not become a villain himself. at the beginning of the story with mizuki and iruka; to gaara, naruto said he could've evened up just like him; to sasuke he said they're roles could've been reversed. naruto was aware he could’ve become a villain, but he made the decision himself to not be a villain from the very first chapter, on his own, and a slap from hyuuga girl is not gonna change that. especially considering naruto's speech afterwards - he talks about comrades - not hinata singularly. he views her as a comrade. and it’s not just hinata’s words that cause him to pull himself together - it’s everyone else’s too. he thinks about neji. his other friends. he also has a conversation with Kurama, because Hinata’s words were not enough by themselves. Then naruto gets up.

Then we get this famous nh scene, which I'm going to mention here because it’s imp for later on. anw, I've always felt this moment was... weird, and that’s not cuz I don’t ship nh but because the whole scene is just awkward. first, naruto talks about comrades. he thinks of everyone. he has a full on conversation with Kurama. in the same panel below he thinks of comrades, but out loud he says ‘it’s all thanks to you standing by my side.’ there is such a dissonance between what he was thinking the few panels prior, and what he says then. I honestly feel Kishimoto was almost forced to write a nh scene. look at how awkward naruto looks... he’s looking at hinata yet he’s facing away from her. fr stand up and copy naruto’s position and expression, it’s just so awkward. Kishimoto’s use of body language and angles have always been purposeful and natural. Hinata herself is turned towards Naruto yet Naruto can’t face her... yet he’s looking at her with his eyes, and gripping at her hand awkwardly. in the whole story I can’t recall a panel where naruto’s body language was so awkward. 

moving on, we all know why obito was so intent on knocking naruto down throughout the war, besides naruto being the mc and person everyone looks up to. madara commented on it, kakashi ended up saying it: obito wanted to push naruto to despair to see if ultimately he'd arrive and take the same actions as obito. but there was another scene, directly paralleling the nh scene, with naruto knocked down, absolutely distraught. he’s crying, furious, seeing people around him dying left and right, people on the verge of giving up. it’s actually a more dire situation here, considering the timepoint of this scene and everything that had led up to that point.

then sasuke comes, swings his sword once, and says 'giving up, naruto? I'm not.’ and that's enough to make naruto wipe his tears and pull himself together. sasuke didn’t need to slap naruto to pull him out of it. instead, he lead by example. in the nh chapter, naruto said to hinata ‘it was all thanks to you standing by my side.’ but when was hinata ever by his side? it's sasuke who is by naruto’s side fighting. lifting him up, being his driving light, pushing him forward, which is something Kakashi himself said during naruto’s shippuden training arc, I’m just quoting him here.

Sasuke, standing up and fighting by his side, says just a short question and statement (not a full blown speech like hinata), and then naruto pulls himself together. Naruto doesn’t hesitate. He thinks of the people before him and his regrets; doesn’t need to have another conversation with Kurama to hype him up. Sasuke’s words are enough. Over and over, the only person that’s managed to have such an influence on naruto is sasuke. So naruto gets up and fights with Sasuke by his side. Also interesting how Kishimoto gives Hinata a panel here - again all she can do is say his name, not stand by his side, and surely not influence him to not become a villain.