#gifting advice

[cubbihue]

It would be nice to hear from Wanda and Cosmo! It is kind of nice that you guys have two children like your own family does. Are you two still close to your siblings? Wanda has a sibling and Cosmo also have a sibling just like Timmy and Peri. Do they share some sibling stories to your children?

Wanda and Cosmo both reconnected with their siblings shortly after having Peri. Or, well. More like Blonda reentered their lives once she realized she had a baby nephew. Eventually, they slowly patched things up the more Blonda came to visit Peri.

Schnozmo was dragged back kicking and screaming. Mama Cosma refuses to have her sons live estranged lives now that she has a grandchild in the picture. Schnozmo doesn't know how to handle children, but he's doing his best.

Peri likes Schnozmo because he makes silly noises and funny stories. But he prefers Blonda's theatrics much more and loves playing Dress Up with her.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[lurukifennecfox]

i want a ghost courting fanfic Dead on Main

i want it to be intentional from Danny's side and Red Hood/Jason to be confused™

i want it to be where Danny moved to gotham for reasons (it's pre reveal for danny or reveal gone right) and he's met that really cute guy and ohmygod what does he do?? Ember, Kitty, Johny, Skulker? how do you court someone? what should he do???

so Danny gets Ghost Courting advice and oh.. the cute dead guy is the freaking Red Hood who Danny may or may not have had a crush on even before meeting in civvies ok that's fine he'll just proceed with the plan a leave a gift in his haunt with a little hint as to who that might be from as is only proper (thanks for advice Ember!)

[zivazivc]

I've been slowly tweaking these designs for a couple of weeks now, and now I can finally introduce the Uncles, the colorful group of friends/roommates who raised Hed and Les (word "raised" used loosely, but they definitely shared the living space with them).

From left to right: Kymani, Bramble, Adewale, Benji, Jenga, and Licorice "Ish" with his boys. Let's say Hed and Les are 15 and 19 here, maybe a year older, which means the rest are only in their mid 30s.

[uncanny-tranny]

If somebody in your life offers to knit or crochet or, really, create anything for you, please be an active participant in the creation of the piece they are making. I adore making and gifting things, but nothing bums me out quicker than a person who passively just goes "okay," to my ideas about what I'm making them - it can send the message that they won't like it, or that they don't care, even if they're happy about my offering. The back-and-forth feedback is a great way to make sure that you are being gifted something that was truly worth the time, effort, expertise, and money that will inevitably go into the gift!

I know it's really hard to be an active participant, believe me, I'm an anxious ball of horror, but it will only do good for both parties to interact in this situation. It is a big deal to be offered a hand-crafted gift, but it's also something we want you to love and use, and that can only happen if you tell us what would make you fall in love with what we create.

[mediocretosubpar-soup]

So picture this. Yue Qingyuan crushing on someone. He fucked up his most important intrapersonal relationship. Who will see him floundering and helpfully offer advice ? Who's got the ego/the balls/ the audacity?

Luo Binghe.

(the sticking point for him is that Yue Qingyuan's success will mean he won't pine after Shen Qingqiu and for that Luo Binghe will do a lot of things)

"Sect leader Yue, look pathetic! Men love their partners being pathetic!"

Yue Qingyuan flashes through numerous of Luo Binghe's pathetic acts from 14 years old up to now.

Luo Binghe,taking his pondering for doubt: Look, I, too doubted Shang Qinghua's wisdom but just look at him!

Their gazes travel across the peaks to Shang Qinghua's leisure house, where he sits on the porch auditioning the peaks while Mobei-jun peels melon seeds for him. Mobei-jun is pathetically inept at this task, his big claws clumsily fumbling with the melon seeds. Everytime he does manage to peel a seed, Shang Qinghua looks up and beams at him lovingly.

Yue Qingyuan turns away before Mobei-jun attempts to cutely handfeed Shang-shidi. There are some things, he's happy to remain ignorant of, his sect siblings' happy marital lives included.

Luo BInghe looks up at him. His eyes are kind of big, his cheeks are puffed up, his lips are weirdly pink. Are that....sparkles?! Yue Qingyuan steps into Luo Binghe's space and grabs him by the lapels when he tries to escape.

"Sparkly fireworks curse." He mutters and throws Luo BInghe over his shoulder, so he can take him to Mu Qingfang without losing precious time.

Half an hour later, he has to woodenly apologize to Luo BInghe as he sobs into Shen Qingqiu's chest.

"There, there. Binghe, Yue-shixiong didn't mean anything bad, he didn't know that your eyes just do that sometime. He actually thought that you were in grave danger." Shen Qingqiu pats the Supreme Emperor of the Demon Realm's head a few more times. Luo Binghe turns his head up. "Really?"

Yue Qingyuan stares at this brazen and shameless display, Shen Qingqiu's blushing, a loving glimmer in his eyes.

Luo Binghe's eyes catch his, see they seem to say, see how it's done.

Yue Qingyuan sees and takes notes.

[dungeonmalcontent]

If you ever feel like maybe it's a little embarrassing to do voices in d&d, like maybe you won't do it good enough or people will think you're weird, you will never be more embarrassed than my college rhetoric TA. This girl was maybe 23, tops, pale white girl with red hair, stood out in the room like a sore thumb. She was smart, don't get me wrong. Had the course material memorized (probably better than the professor, honestly). But the first time we went through the "lineage" of Greek philosophers and got to Cicero she busts out with the best Cicero (TeS) impersonation I've ever heard in the middle of the class. Not much, just a "what?! Cicero?!" Like someone was accusing her.

No one expected it. The Prof looked bewildered. She mumbled her explanation about how she and her bf had been playing a lot of Skyrim lately.

Anyway. Tl;Dr. You will never be more embarrassed than Cicero, my rhetoric TA.

[merakiui]

thinking,,,,,,,, darling who has a cryptic pregnancy....... [insert twst character here] reacting to it,,, maybe you and floyd and you're both a little dense because neither of you could have ever guessed. T_T

"what do you mean you were pregnant this whole time???? i thought shrimpy just got softer. :D" - floyb mindset.

in floyd's defense, he has no idea how human pregnancies work. he slept through that part of land boot camp!!! fell asleep the minute the professor started droning on about how humans don't lay eggs like mers do. jade can only chuckle (maybe he knew, but in classic jade fashion he won't tell because it's much more entertaining to sit back and watch everyone slowly figure it out) and azul is shaking his head in disbelief. had he known, he would have prepared well in advance to lend a helping hand. and you're just so amazed because maybe you were told you're unable to get pregnant, but somehow it happened and you had no idea all this time.

thank you to floyd and his mer virility for doing what was thought to be the impossible!!!!!! <3

[thatsbelievable]

[thoselovelythings]

[uter-us]

radfem help !!

2 of my little cousins (14yrs and 15yrs) are both girls dating boys right now, and together we are coming up with a "dealbreaker list" of things they will never put up with from their bfs! and also we are including positives, like so they aren't just looking for the absence of bad things, but actual positive things

what do yall think are the most important things to add? (i put extra info in tags)

Thank you so much!!!

[ohfallingdisco]

my friends with depression: keep your birthday cards. i am begging you. i have mine in a drawer and when i start to feel especially worthless, i read through them and there’s my lost grandpa saying i love you, my favorite aunt’s funny cards, my parents actually writing heartfelt things, and doodles from friends from all throughout my life, usually with something innocent like “you’re cool, like your style.”

keep your birthday cards.

[thatbadadvice]

Help! The Woman I Have Been Stalking for Years Is Disinclined to Engage With Me

Carolyn Hax, WaPo, 1 June 2023 (originally 11 March 2009):

Dear Carolyn: About five years ago, I began to realize that a woman I dated 25 years earlier was someone I had stronger feelings for than I was mature enough to appreciate at the time. I had questions for her about why we hadn’t blossomed into the kind of relationship I now think we both believe we were destined for. In the past five years, I’ve continued to have those questions, then dreams, etc., which led me to do a paid search for her address. I wrote her twice and left a voice mail. My messages have been about old friends I bumped into who reminded me of her, what I’ve been doing and how I’d like to hear from her. That is, nothing too serious or about what’s been on my mind. I haven’t received an answer. I’ve thought through the reasons she hasn’t corresponded, and why I needed to talk with her, and am still at a loss. Would asking her my questions directly in a letter be a way to coax her to reconnect? Telling her that, apart from this midlife crisis of mine, I’m happily married and successful, and that all I want are answers? -- A 30-year-old question

Dear 30-Year-Old Question,

One might expect a happily married person to do all kinds of things, but topmost among them is paying to find the contact information of an ex-girlfriend and sending said ex-girlfriend multiple unanswered messages, repeatedly and through a variety of means, over the course of many years in the hopes of deceiving her into heady conversations about the details of your long-ended relationship. Yes indeed, when the Bad Advisor thinks of "normal stuff a person who's very happy in their marriage would do," her mind immediately goes to "pretending to ask innocuous questions about old friends in the hope that a woman I dated 30 years ago believes I am solely and only asking her innocent questions about old friends, when in fact I am explicitly and admittedly not."

Women are famously unable to clock the intentions of men, who are very clever, extremely stealthy, and never creepy or dangerous to the extent that they would unsettle people from whom they have demanded interaction and who have time and time again ignored them. Probably this woman received your incredibly blasé letters and voicemail and thought: "Gosh, it seems like this dude who deuced out on me three decades ago is trying to rope me into responding to him multiple times despite my obvious disinclination to engage only and exclusively on the subject of our old friends, what a boring conversation, I shan't respond unless he sends me a lengthy bit of written correspondence detailing his many thoughts and feelings about how our romance ended, I simply can't imagine having a conversation with him unless I know for absolute certain he wants to rehash what happened between us, which is the only possible way I could fathom entertaining such a reconnection, one which I would never have reason to pursue otherwise, as I am so desperately in love with him and have been lo these 30 years but could not in good conscience find a way to broach the subject unless he sends me just one more letter finally making his bonerful intentions plain, that sly dog."

Might you have neglected to include a return address on the previous correspondence about which you were extremely desperate, but in a very casual way, to receive a response? Does your ex-girlfriend own the only cellular telephone on earth that does not log the return-call number of people who leave voicemails? Mayhap she simply does not know how to contact you after multiple attempts over half a decade! These are highly probable reasons she has not sought you out! Vastly more likely than the fact that she sees entirely the fuck through your pretenses and wants nothing to do with you whatsoever.

If you wish to receive a concrete answer about the status of your relationships, your best hope is to CC your spouse on any future correspondence. I think you can expect a prompt response.

[oeuvrinarydurian]

NEW!

Final Scene Friday!

I cherish our traditions, but while I was looking for a fidget, I was idly playing with alliteration in my head and it occurred to me that this could be a fun new game.

I’m calling it “Final Scene Friday” as opposed to my initial inclination, “Final Shot Friday“, because there is plenty in each final scene to choose from, but we’d all wind up posting the same two or three photos if I limited it to only final shots.

Anyway, I selected a couple of unexpected ones to choose between, but ultimately, I just had to go with my emotions.

Endeavour: Quartet

[gem-femmes]

How to handle running into a former friend or ex that you’re not looking to reconnect with

Let’s talk about something we all face at some point: running into someone from your past that you’ve moved on from, whether it’s an old friend or a former lover.

You’ve done the work, you’ve grieved, and you’ve leveled up. You’re not interested in rehashing the past or rekindling that connection. But what happens when you bump into them in public?

Often when this happened to me, I found the other person missed me and wanted to spend time with me again - even when they had ghosted me. This made me uncomfortable. They had confused me, I had to grieve the loss of the relationship and now they want me again???

Believing I owed them an explanation due to happy times spent together, I let them drag me into pointless discussions to figure out what had gone wrong years ago.

Every time, I realized our connection had ended for a reason, and my explaining only opened up old wounds.

Don't do that.

Here’s how to handle encounters with former friends, lovers and foes like a boss:

1. Stay Calm and Composed

First things first—take a deep breath. You’ve already moved on emotionally, and this is just another moment in your day. You’ve got this.

2. Acknowledge Them Briefly

If you make eye contact, a simple “Hi” or “Hello” with a confident smile is more than enough. You’re showing that you’re mature, unbothered, and not holding any grudges. No need for deep dives into what happened.

3. Keep it Short

If they try to engage in small talk, go ahead and be polite, but keep it light and brief. A quick “It’s good to see you,” followed by a natural exit, sends the message that you’re not interested in going any deeper.

4. Graceful Exit Strategies

Sometimes, it’s best to have an escape plan. If the conversation starts to linger, here are some graceful ways to make your exit:

“I’d love to chat more, but I’m on a tight schedule today. Have a great day!”

“It’s nice seeing you, but I need to finish my shopping before I forget what I need.”

“I have to go; someone’s waiting for me. Take care!”

“Well, I should get going. It was nice running into you!”

“I’ll let you get back to your day. See you around!”

5. Don’t Feel the Need to Explain

If they try to bring up the past, it’s perfectly fine to deflect. A simple, “That was a long time ago, and I’m focused on the present now” will keep you from getting sucked into a conversation you’re not interested in. You’ve moved on, and your time and energy are precious.

It’s all about maintaining your peace of mind and protecting the progress you’ve made. You’ve leveled up, and you don’t need to revisit chapters you’ve already closed.

Stay polite, stay brief, and most importantly, stay focused on you. You’ve got bigger and better things to do! 💪✨

[anarkhebringer]

Zenos, who is relying on vague advice about "love languages" after hearing his boyfriend mention a cheesy obscure eroge a single time while he was in the room

[sincerely-sofie]

Hi! This may come across as a dumb question, but I wanted to write my own PMD:EoS fic, but I’m kind of lost on how I want to organize my thoughts and the plot. Additionally, I get new ideas and then I end up struggling with what I want to do. How did you organize things for your story?

This isn't a dumb question at all! It's something I've struggled with for a long time as a writer, and I'd be happy to share what I've come up with to solve my fight with story organization! I’ll try to speak coherently, but this is something I’m really passionate about, so I might ramble a bit, haha. Keep in mind that this is what works for me, and what will work for you may be very different. Take from this post what serves you well and ditch the rest :> 

Organizational Tools

You can use pretty much anything to organize your story— I’ve used everything from loose printer paper in storage clipboards to expansive Google Docs that are hundreds of pages long in the past. But what I’ve found that really works for me is an app called Notion. You may have heard of it— it’s really popular with productivity enthusiasts and small business owners, but it works like a dream for organizing creative projects! There’s a bit of a learning curve, but you can find a lot of templates out there for free that work really well if you don’t want to set things up yourself.

This is how my Notion page for TPiaG was set up:

The “Cheat Sheets” dropdown list was full of character sheets, links to Bulbapedia articles I’d refer to while outlining or writing, and also my completed outline. “Fun Stuff” was full of memes and jokes about the characters, an empty page that I’d start filling once I received kind comments on my fic, as well as ideas for additional stories relating to the AU— stuff like oneshots and possible sequels or diverging AUs. Fun fact: this is where I first wrote down my idea for The Present is a Gift: Paradox Edition AU!

“Chapters to Write” and “Chapters I’ve Written” were dropdown lists where I divided my outline into little sub-dropdown lists in “Chapters to Write”, and everytime I wrote a chapter, I would move it over to “Chapters I’ve Written”. Nothing is as reassuring when you’re stuck in the middle of writing a nearly 60k word fanfic as seeing the chapters slowly migrate to the right.

Organizing the Story

Outlining is a big part of my organization process, so I’ll be talking a fair bit about it. The first part of any story is your premise / core idea (it sounds like you’ve already got some of your own, so I won’t discuss coming up with those). The next step is brainstorming what you want to revolve around that premise. I already knew the characters fairly well, so what I did for TPiaG is write out a bunch of ideas for scenes on scraps of notebook paper and start arranging them on a table in different ways. I eventually settled on an order of events (many of which ended up cut for clarity in the actual fic), and then I started structuring them into chapters. 

How I structure chapters is inspired by the Kishotenketsu structure that is used fairly often in Asian storytelling. I divide each chapter into 5 parts: an Introduction that provides a starting point for the chapter, Development that builds on and adds context or tension to the introduction, a Twist that causes a new perspective on either the situation, characters, or something else in the story, a Resolution that helps wrap things up in a satisfying way, and then a Hook that leads the reader to want to read the next chapter. This is a structuring method that works way better for me than the Three Acts or the Hero’s Journey— I prefer the stronger focus on character vs. plot— and so I try to use it as often as possible. Here’s an example from my outline (if you’ve read TPiaG, you may notice some differences between it and the actual published chapters of the fic! It’s chapter 4 instead of chapter 3, for one thing!)

Organizing Characters

I’ll be honest— I didn’t fill out character sheets like I should have for this project. I kind of just went with the flow as I wrote them. Twig and Grovyle are the only characters who got sheets at all, and Grovyle still only got a half of one. However, I do have a blank copy of a character sheet I can share as reference!

I think most of this is pretty self-explanatory— but if anyone wants clarification on anything or what goes into the individual note sections, let me know! This is what the topmost part of Twig’s character sheet bio looks like: 

The Torment of the Human Mind, or: How to Deal with Idea Overload

This is an ongoing struggle for me. I’ve mentioned having ADHD in the past, but it really turns idea generation and shiny object syndrome into a purgatory of unspeakable proportions. Before TPiaG, I had never finished a creative project because I would constantly ping-pong back and forth between newer and funner ideas, inevitably abandoning WIPs, come back to them for a few weeks at a time, and then dart off to the next thing. This feels awful because you never finish anything when you’re stuck in this cycle, and having all those ideas as open tabs in your brain is exhausting. 

My greatest advice for figuring out what you want to do and then doing it? Figure out a fun idea— maybe not the funnest idea, but an idea you enjoy and can create with your current skills and a good helping of hard work— and then commit to it with a story priority hierarchy. Every time you want to work on another idea, you have to work on the idea you committed to first for 30 minutes (or a different block of time, whatever works for you!). After that allotted time is up, you’re free to work on whatever other projects you like— but you have to start at the top of the priority hierarchy. That way, you still get work done on your #1 project, but you’re not restricted to it. 

Alternatively: Write until that priority project is done. You can make notes on ideas, you can make Pinterest boards for them, and you can make playlists— but you can only write for your priority project. I’d recommend doing this with a deadline in mind. Something like Camp NaNoWriMo or a similar month-long challenge. Novelty is an important part of my workflow! I get it. But for some people, bouncing back and forth between ideas is detrimental to their ability to focus / write, and committing to a single project at a time is extremely beneficial. I thought that I was someone who needed total freedom to work on any of my projects, but it turns out that being handcuffed to a project and a word count goal for a month was exactly what I needed to finish my first ever complete manuscript.

Yikes, this was a lot. I hope I answered your question well enough. If not, ask again and give me another shot! I love talking about creativity, and I would be overjoyed to help you create however I can.