#getting started man cmon
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the really awesome thing for bisexual women with boyfriends who feel the need to complain about chappells music not being for them and feeling left out bc of their attraction to men (😒) is that there are so many bisexual musicians out there for you. like seriously it’s crazy and they’re awesome too and they also date men and sing and/or rap about it so you can feel nice and validated
#sorry they’re maybe not having their big spotlight moment#but why can’t you listen to slash let lesbians specifically have their experiences highlighted for a minute without bitching#abby talks#sorry. saw some tags and i’m once again feeling like a heinous bitch#i know this had theoretically sort of been a big year for dykes so obviously yall are fucking squirming in ur boots. but also we’re just#getting started man cmon
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im a child of divorce
#the bit is over when i say its over and even when its so joever for these two its not over for me!!! (once again i am on heavy copium)#anyway. thoughts behind the spoiler tags#gempearl#shiny duo#wild life smp#life series spoilers#wild life spoilers#i feel like. i actually was expecting that#no but its so funny the one time the negative consequences of something does actually get acknowledged its the SL finale ‘betrayal’/j#like cmon fuck me i guess/j (BIG EMPHASIS. ON THE SLASH J. OKAY.)#but honestly though i did expect Gem to hold a grudge over the 2v1 in SL. and. its good that there are consequences???#it IS a ‘betrayal’ in Gem’s eyes. they were friends. they were murder besties for the last two sessions and then Pearl chose Scar over her#and its awesome man. [through gritted teeth] this is awesome man this will be good for character development ok ok ok. ok?#its also got something to do with Pearl having the red creep in. i think#because during SL Gem was like. nearly idolising the Scarlet Pearl persona while vaguely aware that her own reputation has a similar effect#and yknow. the horrors. the fact that their image is so heavily built on what others deem them to be and they can only play into it#but by the end of SL Gem gets ‘betrayed’ by this persona that she looked up to#and also her own ‘GeminiSlay’ intimidating image is also starting to fall apart. partly of her own will#and now shes watching Pearl slowly turn red again. and this time she knows its not good for her or Pearl#so shes distancing herself from it. shes ‘trying to fix her reputation’. she sees Pearl falling into it again and just. no. i dont love you#you betrayed me last season#but on Pearl’s end of things she’s already deep into the idea that as long as you say you ‘forgive’ someone then everything thats happened#in the past doesn’t matter and they can all be friends. and nooo absolutely no grudges will be held. no emotional repression here#so. because thats happened to her in her own team she thinks the same can happen with her and Gem#and thats so. im going to blow myself up now
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Happy 5/14!!!!
Aaaaahh not sure if this is my best work 😭 I just really wanted to draw smth for vettonso day but my brain hasn't really been functioning well LOL so I kept dreading working on this, especially bcs its so important to me, y'know? I hope it's good????? I'm happy with the concept, but I was just so unsure on so many of the angles and it was killing me. I did the color thing bcs I thought it'd add something interesting to it :) since I didn't paint it as I usually would
Anyways! Process!
Now I will explain all of them:
Boy king au is where it all starts of course. I think their relationship is the most developed in this compared to the others, but at the same point, they just start from such a different point, especially affection-wise. All of these kinda have a power dynamic, except the last one, and this is the most imbalanced. Fernando is being subservient, the only part of Seb he may kiss(in public lol) is his hand.
Matador au next. They hurt themselves when they try to be affectionate, because they live in the culture of a sport of violence and death. The sword separates them, their love for the sport keeps them apart, in fear that they hurt each other. Seb, yet again, looks down upon Fernando. Seb haunts Fernando's whole career, the constant overhanging presence. Also aside from that, shame that you can't see his three musketeers look bcs of the black background 😔
2012 core!!! I think this one is pretty easy to understand. Both of them often kiss their trophies, more so than any driver. So they're both trying to claim the wdc trophy by kissing it. Maybe you guys should just get rid of the trophy altogether and claim each other! But yes, just like the sword in the matador au one, the trophy and their ambitions divides, keeps them from ever bridging the vast gap between them, at least at that point in time.
The conclusion! Aka what I wish we will get at Imola 2024- kidding kidding. But it is 2024. Finally there is no conflict between them, there's no big thing keeping them in conflict, they can finally come together. Finally they can touch, there is no gap to bridge, they can appreciate each other, and appreciate what they failed to in years past.
The thesis is basically that they always have their aspirations between them, and their aspirations happen to be basically the same thing. Until those are resolved, the gap between them is too vast for them to recognize and/or find any commonality. How do you get along with someone when you're both fighting for the same thing? How do you get along when it feels like one of you is winning more? How do you get along when there's such a vast gap?
In boy king au, it's going to take a while before they both feel settled about the issue of the throne. That's what makes that au interesting, they're trapped in this state of non-closure and they have to actually solve their issues without the matter of one of them simply removing themselves from the equation. They have to find a way to get over themselves and their aspirations, because like it or not they're stuck with each other. I think with the hand kissing, it represents how Fernando, at that point, is only willing to play along with the game if it's tradition, and he often won't budge in other ways. Yes, I will show subservience, but only in this detached, formal way that I don't connect personally to. He's still holding his own bitterness over meaningfully appreciating Seb. Though it's not like Seb isn't at fault. It takes a while for him to not hold things over Fernando, and constantly humiliate him. One day they will meaningfully show affection, and it won't be some sort of power play.
I think matador au is pretty similar to real life, and the 2010s era(it's basically just their actual plot line but in the context of bullfighting.) They're forever going to have this big elephant in the room, and it only really gets resolved when one of them leaves the sport. Once they're not fighting directly against each other, they realize what they've been missing out on and what they were not appreciating for so many years beforehand. They finally come together because they can't just rely anymore on the sport keeping them together. They actually have to make that step to be in each other's lives, rather than just taking their presence for granted.
Also the text on the comic. "We keep missing, and missing, and missing, and finally kissing." It's basically: we keep missing the point of it all, we keep failing to appreciate each other presence in our lives and in our own individual grand stories. But when we're not forced together anymore, we have to make the choice to come together again ourselves. We keep missing what we actually need to do. Missing each other in favor of our aspirations. Etc etc. One day we will finally embrace and there will be nothing keeping us apart.
#hahaha im more proud of what i wrote under the cut so make sure to read that!#im happy w the concept but the art hurt my brain so its not my best work i dont think#i also never draw kissing#so please take my token of actual shippy affection for once#VETTONSO DAY!!!!!!!!!! AAAAHH#man im glad i realized that last wk bcs i think i wouldve never recovered if i didnt draw smth for it#tho thsts why i think i kinda dont like this drawing 😭#the process was rly stressful to me bcs im like I HAVE TO FINISH THIS#its my national holiday and i must pay my dues 🤧🤧#but im happy abt the plotline of this all :)#sigh. when will vettonso truly stop missing and actually start kissing#i rly hope 005's art and mine works as some sort of sacrifice so we get pics of them together from imola#like PLEASE guys if theres literally one thing you could do for me. it would make my year. genuinely#i just need that shock again of japan 23. just the completely unexpected pictures#cmon lets have a meetup of aston failboys as they look upon the amr24 and commiserate#^ see exactly the point of this art. they have this bridging them together.#conflict that keeps them together and that they can relate to rather than dividing them#conflict is not man vs man anymore. it's man vs car 😔#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#catie.art.#catie.rambling.txt
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‘sam and john are so similar’ well okay. sure, to an extent. both sam and john are (or at least sam starts off being) stubborn, relentlessly driven personalities. but i would argue dean has just as much capacity to be like that as sam. sometimes more. ‘sam and john clash because they’re similar’ idk, maybe, i’m sure that could be and probably is part of it to an extent, but i would put it More down to the fact that john treats his sons Awfully and sam reacts to this (as he should!) by fighting it & being angry with him. john and sam could be nothing alike and they’d still fight like hell
& anyway just because dean thinks sam and john are similar doesn’t make it true. half the reason he probably thinks they’re similar is because of his relationship w them, which is the same intense dogged devotion, though with john it’s expressed through obedience and with sam it’s expressed through possessiveness. they’re a family they’re all like each other. sam and dean are alike in a hell of a lot of ways!! yeah sam’s paralleled with john sometimes but he’s also paralleled with mary. yeah dean plays/has played the role of mary sometimes but he also 100% is always striving to fill the role of john. people are complex! sam and dean are complex characters because they’re good characters! not everything is black and white!
#that post i just reblogged got me thinking. literally so true#it’s inevitable that you’ll misread the characters if you start trying to peg them as one thing or as intrinsically different#if you say sam’s john and dean’s mary you’re missing all the 1000 ways in which dean is incredibly john (especially later seasons dean!!#cmon he modelled himself off that man all his life you think something didn’t stick?) and all the ways in which sam is like mary!!#and you’re also crucially missing the way sam and dean are like each other. they have a lot in common!! they’re brothers raised with the#same values and they do have similar ideals despite their clashing and obviously they’re very different in some ways but they’re not polar#opposites. that’s not how people work anyway#‘ugh i hate late seasons because they get it all wrong. SAM’S meant to be the one who acts like john not dean🙄’ <- real take i saw ages upo#ages ago. probably from a samhater#oliver talks#spn#sam & dean#supernatural
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i cant believe ive seen no one rotate the 'peter was There' concept fully. enough coworkers to lovers we need to put these bitches in a situationship NOW !!
peter seems to constantly be at odds with himself in how he treats miguel, on one hand he tries very hard to be friendly and caring towards him, but on the other miguel keeps doing things that he believes are wrong. unfortunately, miguel keeps making very good points (for the greater good and all that) and we see him struggle to come up with refutes, like in the scene where miguel cages miles.
theres only a few scraps of it, but it really seems like they used to be Close. stuff like peter being (seemingly) the only person nearby when his world was evaporating, a task that he would want to call in spiders he trusted to help with. or peter knowing nueva york & miguel well enough to go downtown as soon as theyre out of spider society hq, and wait in the uptown infastructure for a chance to nab miles. or miguel asking someone to catch spot and peter immediately assumes its a task hes expected to take on--miguel has to explicitly shoot him down.
whatever peter is trying to build (or rebuild...) with miguel, miguel wants No part of
#miguel o'hara#peter b parker#atsv#spiderdads#i hope people understand what im trying to say im soooooo sleepy#miguel and peter are divorced without ever having even dated#probably doesnt help miguels case that his anger seems to draw more from his spider half than his human half#bro gets angry and he starts prying the fabric of the universe apart like cmon man#how do u justify a guy like that#atsv spoilers#astv spoilers#across spider the verse.. so silly
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i wanna talk about this phenomenon cuz i’m sick of seeing it.
it’s become cliche to this point that in basically any atlus game, it will inevitably circle back to persona 5 in its criticism. somehow, despite it being YEARS since persona 5 came out, game journalists still manage to keep bringing it up, sometimes in blatantly stupid ways like the example shown here.
here’s the thing: this is bad criticism. anybody could tell you that. saying “this thing is worse because it’s not this other thing” is an emotional response to something you’d tell your friend, not a genuine piece of criticism you’d make about a product. i’m almost certain this author was aware of this. so why did they include it?
cuz people won’t stop fucking sharing these to fucking dunk on them.
seriously. without fail, the reason i learn these exist is never by reading the articles. i don’t really read game reviews from professional sites. i only know of these because people find these reviews and spread them around to every fan of atlus’s games, and everybody makes fun of how stupid the journalist is for making a dumb callback to persona 5. i’m willing to bet that’s also how most other people find these reviews too.
these game journalism sites want clicks. they want attention. they want people to spread around the silly persona 5 comparisons because that’s the only way a lot of people will actually see or care about the article. and people fall for it every goddamn time. and honestly, i’m just sick of it. i wish all persona and smt fans would just fucking ignore it when this happens, because i’m convinced that’s the only way it will ever stop happening.
#persona#persona 3#persona 3 reload#persona 5#it also doesn’t help that persona 5 itself gets caught in the crossfires of all this#this makes people start harboring more undeserved resentment for the game which for god’s sake it doesn’t need more of that#so many of the dunks are like haha that should be a pro actually#and i’m like cmon man#why can’t people just be normal about that goddamn game
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Every single one of my instincts wants me to crawl into bed and sleep the day away like I’ve done all weekend.
I’m going to try something else.
I showered. Finally. And brushed my teeth. And I’m getting ready to leave the house.
I don’t know where I’m going yet. But staying locked up alone in here hasn’t made me feel better. Only worse.
I dare myself to stay outside until. At least noon. At least noon.
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i hate trying to find a job i hate trying to find a job i hate trying to find a job
#sent out like a good amount of applications to. not even anything fancy. food and retail places and shit since the start of the month.#and nobody has gotten back to meeee cmon man. im nice....#and then i scraped up the mental fortitude to call this one place and the ladies i need to talk to weren't even there fuck my lifeeeeee#i want money. and i want my parents to get off my fucking back. please for the love of god somebody.#my limit - and probably why im not getting anything back - is that i dont want to work fast food. im willing to handle food but i dont want#to deal with fast food. but if this keeps up im probably going to have to buckle.#its not even crazy. i just want A Job. a Retail Job or whatever i know i have very little experience and very little qualifications.#i just want SOMETHING. stop being stingy.
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//vent
cursed with never knowing whats appropriate and what isnt in conversation. talked to a guy yesterday and he asked me a question abt one of my interests and i answered. and then he just. did not follow up. even tho i asked him smthn. and like id love to point it out but goddd damn. do i not want to cross boundaries
#//vent#like hes cool. hes nice. i like that guy.#....but.#like holy shit ik im not entitled to answers or engagement but unless were talking abt smthn hes into its like talking to a brick wall#and i dont think he does it on purpose?? and i dont think im much better either#its whats stopping me from pointing it out. bc im not sure that im not the same exact way#like i do try yknow?? to engage w shit???? to answer questions and respond to every part of a message???#talking to him sometimes is like having a conversation and when its my turn he just gets up and leaves in the middle of me talking#closes the door behind him and im like “oh hell be back! :)” and then 26 hours later its just. nothing.#i dont wanna start shit i dont... but i feel like im losing my mind#any time i wanna share smthn i like and am passionate abt its just. wall time#i can have wall time in the privacy of my own home man cmon.#i dont wanna seem needy or entitled by pressing the issue but its just. not making me feel great#idk im just. idk.#im too afraid of asking for things lmfao im so convinced if i do people will leave#ughhhh i just dont know what to do here#:/
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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The Fear's leader, generals, and observer.
#the enemy#the enemy book series#the enemy charlie higson#the enemy series#shadowman#saint george#man u#bluetooth#spike#one armed bandit#gee sure hope these names that refer to other things wont get into the tags of those random things#cmon shadow. get it together#me asking. Shadowman. to name things better. LOL#this is adjacent to how i see them in my head . not completely accurate but yeyaaag#cw gore#????.#should i tag cannibalism. theyre zombies.#st george is the most human looking. because hes one of the smartest.#i like shadowman so bad (hes my favorite)(im gonna draw him so much) i like how he went thru an hours long near death sequence and#when he got out of it he immidiently started doing this like no time for revenge wtf is up with these guys#ofc he has good reason to do so. i just think its funny
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Terrible opinions in the vc tonight 😔
#wacky watermelons#stardew#my vow of silence. to not start shit. when the vc starts talking about how much they hate shane#not to wax poetic about shit that i can guarantee has been said better by many more people on here#but i feel “i don't like this character because he's rude/an alcoholic” is not the get out of acknowledging his#depression/suicidal actions card that you think it is#you dont have to love him. but actively sneering at me for saying i enjoy his character is fucking wild#do you hear yourselves? do you hear yourselves???#anyway. i can never show them my fucking chickens because i have all 3 chicken colors#also i think there's an untapped market in transfem shane. really “clinically depressed guy” to “much happier woman” is such a common story#ask me about my chickens. i named them so fun and good. cmon. ask me#he's not even my favorite bachelor!!! i just have to defend his ass!!#okay im done now. i <3 birds. i need to seriously farm wood for cows though. and sprinklers for wheat... fuck man
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honestly tho. im gonna tear a hole in the universe if the universe keeps dangling great jobs in my face before snatching em away
#'hey how about this amazing character design job that would totally suit you... haha jk'#'hay how about this easy peasy event facilitator job.. mm maybe ur not qualified enough :/'#CMON MAN#I have SKILLLSSSSS#i just wanna get payed man 😔#I need to make some sort of money.. even if it's only for a little..#and what with not being able to start school until next month it's just kindaaaa... ugh#I wanna be done with school and then outta there into a job
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galen is my favourite pota character bc he's the only one who spends a whole episode doing nothing but telling an old man how badly he wants him to kill himself. for no reason. no one else is doing it like him
#i rewatched the ep it's truly crazy how every time they cut back to galen and the old guy galen is just like#my life would be soooooo much easier if you just keeled over and died right now cmon i know you wanna die so badly just do it#and the old man DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING TO GALEN??#why is he like this 😭#i love him like genuinely#pota#koba needs to get on his level and start suicide baiting humans fr
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daylight savings time AND the election next week. and they’re not even giving me a new dancing with the stars episode to spend all my time thinking about.
#about to either get very into this book i just started. or kill mysef. idk#also. can’t even think about how annoyed i’m about to be on tuesday when my coworker who doesn’t vote brings up the fact that he doesn’t#vote again. like. stop reminding me that i think you’re stupid so we can go back to being friends…#he’s so normal and then i found out he doesn’t vote and i was like. man cmon….#like we’re in northern virginia it’s hardly the end of the world but still#it was one thing last year when i was dealing with college kids who aren’t smart enough to vote absentee by mail or figure out how to change#where they’re registered. like i could at least understand that somewhat. but man you already live here and you’re not gonna do it….#like i’m sorry but that’s just crazy work…
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Agdigshdshs
I'M TRYING TO REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I (presumably) SWITCHED IN AND I AM LITERALLY DRAWING A BLANK
Literally my earliest memory of being out is that I was singing along to what we had playing 😭 and I'm not even sure if it was the music or anything else that triggered me out like bruh- (you cant see it but I'm typing this rlly fast XD)
And like before that it's fuzzy but we were like- drawing a lil bit and writing in the journal maybe? Oh wait- nope nvm we didn't write anything before I came out =w=;;
Uhhhhhhhh
I thiiiiiink
Part of it is that B was listening to that shitty KSI song lmao
Cant believe he rated it a 1 or 2 out of 10, but also he literally forgot the song and watched a meme in the middle of it anyway our of boredom LMAO
I literally cannot remember it oml. All I keep thinking about is how I went to change my clothes >:P and like YEAH its bc I'm out and the eenrgy made our body warm af in what we wore before but like CMON THERES GOTTA BE SMTH!! 😭😭😭
#sepiasys.txt#FELLAS HOW DO I LIKE- I WANNA BE ABLE TO BE TRIGGERED OUT MORE EASILY!??#Because I legit started writing out lists of things to do and stuff IMMEDIATELY#Little things we need to remember or do or whatever /silly#BAISGDHADJHSA Literally how. I can tell I'm like- outwardly atleast- relatively calmer. But I know I'm still here?? XP#I WROTE DOWN WE NEED TO WORK ON STUFF FOR WORK AND OR COMMISSIONS AND LIKE IK THIS WILL ONLY HAPPEN IF I'M OUT LIKE-#🥺 How are we supposed to function 🥺#On a serious ish note I actually do wanna do commission stuff :3 which requires drawing stuff and posting it and also having prices & stuffs#So like we gotta set that up but ik I literally would not be able to do all that myselff Hjwbdjsb; but also I feel like I have to be respon-#sible for actually getting those things done? Having enegry smh smh!! But also like we all end up not doing anything for most of the day @_@#Is it dissociation or depression or what? /silly In all srs tho please look at the list guys; pls do some of it 😭#Me and 🪴 got our work cut out for us frfr /silly (It seems like we're rlly the only ones who can do stuff half the time ^^; Feels bad man)#Comms is actually like half shoddy for us af (that totally makes sense XD) so like trying to organize stuff internally is ahrd 😔#But also like our memory isnt complete shit bc rarely blackouts so like we get by :3 But cmon man 😭 We gotta work together!!!
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