#getting sick and tired of people not understanding the dynamics of this entire situation | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

canary3d-obsessed · 3 years

Text

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 24 part two

(Masterpost) (Pinboard)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Arguing

After enjoying a tense afternoon with Lan Xichen, Wei Wuxian comes home to enjoy a tense evening with Jiang Cheng. He pauses in the doorway as he takes in Jiang Cheng’s mood and decides which metaphorical mask he will put on to interact with his shidi. As someone who grew up with explosive people, I find this routine very familiar.

Wei Wuxian is always carefully playing a role as he interacts with the people in his life. Clearly he has read the classic sociology text The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life and is using it as a how-to guide. We see him do this same calculation over and over, in which he reacts internally to a situation, comes to a decision about what persona to inhabit, and then dons that persona. It’s a typical abuse survival tactic and...it is exhausting.

This is why I think his leaving to be alone for a while in Episode 50 is a good thing. Being alone isn’t better than being with someone else, usually, but for Wei Wuxian, who is (by Episode 50) assured of love but not sure where he belongs in his own life, being by himself for a while is going to be the best thing for him. He can learn how to just be a person, instead of constantly trying to mold himself to fit everyone around him.

For the current tense situation, Jiang Cheng is polishing his sword, which, incidentally, is slang (in English, not necessarily in Chinese) for masturbating. Which makes their conversation about how frequently it needs doing kind of a hoot. “One time a month should do,” per Wei Wuxian.

Jiang Cheng yells at Wei Wuxian--fairly, really--for being drunk all the time and not working on clan tasks. Then he responds to a hug attempt by shoving Wei Wuxian and knocking him down. JC asks WW if he’s too drunk to manage his spiritual power. Now, we know that he doesn’t have any spiritual power to manage, and that’s the main point of this interaction. But it also shows us something else about their dynamic.

This was just a quick hit, and when it takes WWX out, JC asks why he isn’t responding with spiritual power. Which means that apparently *every* time Jiang Cheng gives Wei Wuxian a shove or a shoulder check, or strikes him--like he’s been doing constantly since Episode 3--he’s putting spiritual power behind it. That’s...really harsh.

Jiang Cheng wants Wei Wuxian to fight back, and Wei Wuxian can’t; this is a big part of why their relationship breaks down. Casual blows loaded with spiritual power are part of their vocabulary, and Wei Wuxian can’t speak that language any more, even for basic defense. He’s literally not safe having simple interactions with Jiang Cheng now, because he’s secretly disabled, and Jiang Cheng is casually injuring him whenever he gets too close.

(more after the cut!)

This time Wei Wuxian has had enough, and raises Chenqing to Jiang Cheng, who immediately backs off. Jiang Cheng has seen that thing in action, not just on the battlefield, but in a small room full of whatever remained of Wen Chao when they were done with him. He takes this as a serious threat, and backs off, disturbed and puzzled and hurt.

Jiang Cheng thinks the change in Wei Wuxian is coming from apathy, not from disability, and so he misunderstands it over and over. Think of a friend saying “whatever, I’m sick of arguing with you, do what you want.” Jiang Cheng is very ready to feel rejected, and not at all ready to look at Wei Wuxian’s behavior and try to actually understand it.

Crying Over You

Wei Wuxian bails and goes to see Jiang Yanli in the ancestral hall, where she is polishing a name plaque. I turned the gamma way up to see whose it is and...I dunno. This character might be 江 (Jiang), I guess?

Jiang Yanli is the only one of the trio who knows how to mourn properly, in that she is taking some time to sit and be sad. Mourning the dead--both ritually and just in the emotional sense--is as important a part of reclaiming Lotus Pier as the training of disciples and having good times on the lake.

She asks him about his fight with Jiang Cheng and he says he’s used to fighting with him. Jiang Yanli asks him if he’s tired of living there, and Wei Wuxian deflects and deflects, saying “it’s my home, where else would I go?” and that if Jiang Fengmian hadn’t adopted him he would still be begging in the streets. He says “no matter what happens, I won’t leave Lotus Pier,” which is not an answer to her question.

It’s also not true. Like so many of his promises, it’s an expression of his wishes, with no space for the surprises real life is made of. He promises her that he won’t be reckless again, and asks her not to be mad at him. She says she can’t be mad at him, and then they share a flashback about Jiang Fengmian finding him on the street. This is a story, not a memory; Wei Wuxian can’t remember but he remembers her telling him about it. Jiang Yanli wasn’t there, in the moment. So this is her telling the story as it was told to her, probably by Jiang Fengmian.

Flashback Time

In the flashback, picky salad-hating Wei Ying is out on the street, looking for food in a cartload of pretty okay scraps. I mean, yeah, skip the tomatoes, but most of the greens look fine.

He’s found and fed by Jiang Fengmian, who recognizes him and decides to take him in.

Within a couple of episodes, we will see Wei Wuxian paying this favor forward, saving someone he finds starving on the street. Just like Jiang Fengmian, he's going to upset and disrupt his family in order to help someone for whom he feels a deep connection.

During this flashback we get a look at Jiang Fengmian’s sword, and it is a beauty.

What is Love

As the flashback ends, Wei Wuxian is smiling, hearing Jiang Yanli tell this touching story of starvation and orphanhood. She tells him he was born with a smiling face, and that he never minds much about sorrowful things; no matter how bad the situation is, he is always happy. Way to reinforce that metaphorical mask he’s wearing over his deep, deep despair, sis!

They talk a bit about Jiang Cheng’s bad temper. Then Jiang Yanli says now that her parents are gone, they three are the closest in the world, and he responds by putting his head down on her knee and theatrically saying he’s hungry. But he’s crying for real, and so is she.

Then he decides to ask her why people fall in love, basically, and claims that he does not have anyone in his heart. He says there’s no need to like a person that much, that it’s like “haltering your own neck,” according to Netflix. Let’s have a look at that figurative language for a second, and what’s missing from the Neflix translation.

What he says is (as near as my qhanzi.com skills can make out) “這不就是自己給自己脖子上套犁拴韁吗” which Google tells me means "Isn't this just putting a plow on my neck with a rein?" The part of the image that’s missing from Netflix subs is the plow, and the hard labor and animal servitude involved in pulling a plow. This isn’t a pro-romance image.

He’s clearly thinking about Lan Wangji when he lies about having no-one in his heart, but right now the yoke that he wants to escape has nothing to do with Lan Wangji. The person he’s harnessed to in a team, the person who he labors with, the person he wants to escape, is Jiang Cheng. What’s chafing his neck is the promise he made, to stay and serve as one half of a pair, when he can no longer pull his weight.

Busted

Speaking of Jiang Cheng, he is hanging around outside the shrine, listening to the conversation. Wei Wuxian busts him, pointing out not that eavesdropping is bad, but that it’s bad for grownups. Jiang Cheng points out that he’s the master of Lotus Pier so he’s allowed to go anywhere he wants.

(I love how he looks framed by this giant lotus behind him)

We Wuxian has another of those moments where he assesses the best approach to Jiang Cheng before responding.

Then he picks a fake fight with him about soup. Yanli comes out and tells them both to grow up, saying that JC is losing his demeanor as clan leader. He jokingly fixes his already-perfect robe ad they all have a chuckle.

Then Jiang Cheng reminds Wei Wuxian of his promise for the millionth time, and Jiang Yanli goes to make soup for the millionth time. As soon as the boys see that she’s gone, the smiles drop right off of their faces. They’re both performing their typical relationship dynamic for Jiang Yanli.

Being Reasonable

The brothers repair to the main hall, and stand behind the lotus throne looking out of this complicated wall/doorway thingy, while they talk about Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan.

Jiang Cheng is being mature and sensible here, trying to give Jiang Yanli what she wants and also explaining very, very basic political stuff to Wei Wuxian, who is too caught up in his hate boner for JZX to want to think about the bigger picture. He also thinks that Jin Guangyao is a nicer person, but Jiang Cheng says that nice doesn’t matter.

Wei Wuxian is getting a full head of steam going about what a jerk JZX is, when Jiang Cheng makes him actually stop and think, by pointing out that it’s not for them to forgive or not forgive Jin Zixuan’s past behavior; it’s up to Yanli.

Wei Wuxian sees the reasoning in this, and starts to say he can’t understand why Yanli chose to like this person, but then he stops himself and goes through a rapid series of thoughtful, uncomfortable expressions.

Perhaps he’s realizing that he himself has chosen to like an infamously stuck-up, fancy cultivator, albeit one with no soup-related character deficits.

Library Time

The stuck-up cultivator in question is currently in the Cloud Recesses library, where he has snuck into the forbidden books room, against his uncle’s express command, for the purpose of helping Wei Wuxian. The forbidden books room is an entire basement floor of the library; it probably has more books than the not-forbidden part of the library, since the main floor needs space for the restrooms, circulation desk, and copy machines.

(Did OP photoshop the Wangxian-in-the-Library porn picture onto Lan Wangjis’ book? She did.)

A couple of other Lans come along and see the main door unlocked. The lock is a big fish that probably uses magic for locking; it definitely doesn’t use a key. One of them steps in the doorway, glances back and forth without walking through, and does not check the secret door to the forbidden vault. Gosh, how did Su She and/or Jin Guangyao ever manage to steal secrets from this highly secure location, wow.

Lan Wangji hears the Lan disciple on guard duty say “don’t tell Hanguang Jun about this!’ and has a series of microexpressions that might indicate some kind of feeling about simultaneously being a rule breaker and a rule enforcer.

Boat Time

We end with an idyllic scene on the lake in Lotus pier, where a new batch of disciples is harvesting lotuses and learning the opposite of boat safety.

Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian are having a good time, and seem utterly carefree; both of them are good at living in the moment, or faking it.

Wei Wuxian thinks, in voiceover, that it seems that it’s not so hard to go back to the old days. Uh...ok.

Except he’s hiding a massive secret and these replacement kids are not the same juniors he used to hang out with, and he can’t actually teach them cultivation, since he has no socially-acceptable magic power, and everything is about to go to shit in the next episode. But you gotta take your joy where you can, I guess.

Note: There are a lot of questionable effects in The Untamed, but there are also beautiful scenes like this one, which looks like a Maxfield Parrish painting. Compare with the BTS below and you can see what a good job the VFX team did in bringing this lake to life.

#the untamed #cql #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #the untamed gifs #restless rewatch the untamed #canary3d-original #my gifs

384 notes · View notes

physicalturian · 4 years

Text

[18+] Words of pleasure - Law x F!Reader - Part 7

[No spoilers] [Modern AU - College AU] [She/her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18] Words : 7207 Archive of our own

Warning : Power play / Dom/sub Dynamics / Control / Stranger / Flirting / Fluff / Awkwardness / Mirrors / Anxiety / Making out / Shibari… If you feel like I should add more warnings, send me a dm or and ask

– Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

I hated feeling anxious, but there was nothing I could do about it. The thought of having fucked up with Law never left my mind. The entire day I was on campus, I had this urge to check if he had answered, at this point I was ready settle for any type of reply, not even something flirty.

But as hours went by, there was nothing. I couldn’t even distract myself with HandSurgeon, since he had warned me, he would probably be asleep for a while. Those were the cons of him being an actual surgeon. He probably had a long operation. But Law… I thought the feeling was mutual, I thought I’d tease him back from what he did to me before leaving in a hurry but clearly, I had gotten it wrong. I wanted to throw up, I felt sick, I had to keep calm and play it cool, but fuck was it hard.

The little voice in my head never stopped saying I was an idiot, that I shouldn’t have sent that picture. That even if I was feeling myself that moment, he clearly hadn’t asked for that, maybe he even thought this was an unwanted nude? For fuck sake, I should have asked- I mean, I’m not naked on it or anything but…

Sighing I placed my elbows on the table and rested my head in my hands. “This is shit,” I said at first, grumbling to myself. I tried not to talk too loudly considering I was working at a table in the hall, and I did not really want to sound crazy. Nor did I want to disturb the people who were actually working.

Running my hands over my face, I leaned back on my chair looked at the world upside down, “I ain’t going to feel shit because of a man, and maybe he’s busy, yeah-“ I almost fell back when I saw someone walk in front of me, startling me in the process when they stopped right there. I let out a gasp and sat back properly on my seat, turning around to look at the person.

“Fuck Nami, how about you give me a warning next time? Why are you here, don’t you have classes or something?” She quirked a brow in reply and pulled up a chair, sitting next to me, huffing something under her breath but I couldn’t quite catch it.

“Well looks like I’m here on time, you look like shit,” Reaching for the textbook in front of me, she closed it, saying if it was giving me that much trouble, I should take a break.

Grimacing, I looked around a moment before settling my gaze on hers. “It’s not about that though... I,” She already hated the man, if I told her about the situation she’d get in her car and drive all the way to his place to beat him up. But I needed to talk about it, even though I hated it. “I am currently in purgatory, either I’ll get a rejection, or I’ll get laid, that’s uh, that’s what up right now.” I told her with a nervous laugh.

Nami stared at me, her mouth slightly agape, eyes squinted, as she tried to understand what I meant. “How about, not using metaphors? I’m kind of hung over and that’s not doing it.” She stated, leaning on the table, ready to hear more.

“I sent a kind of nude to…” I mumbled his name, and quickly continued before Nami could say anything, “But I haven’t gotten any answer yet, I sent it last night- and before that I think we had a moment you know? But now I am just, so in my head about it! Like, maybe he thinks that’s too early, or-“

Interrupting me, she slammed a hand on the table, startling me and the people around us in the process. “I said he was shit, he is arrogant, he just wants to fuck around-“ She closed her mouth when I interrupted her in a much lower tone.

“No, no, he’s not, Nams, I’m not here to like- be the love-struck idiot but he hasn’t done anything bad for now. Did you listen to me? I just haven’t gotten any answer yet, maybe he’s busy…”

“Then if we don’t know, I’ll call his sorry ass and ask what the fuck is up!” With wide eyes, I put a hand on hers, to stop her from grabbing her phone, but she shooed me away and stood up, putting the phone to her ear.

Whispering in urgency, I called her name many times to get her to stop. My face was starting to warm up and I felt like I was about to die. She smirked at me after a few seconds and pointed at her phone, then gave me a thumbs up before walking away, still on the phone.

I stared at her back in frustration, embarrassment and pure awe. At that very moment, I realize I should have gone to Robin about it, she was a lot less impulsive. I did not mind Nami’s… hot-headedness, and her acting like that made sense. ‘If the problem is a lack of reply, then just, ask him straight up’, yet I couldn’t help but feel like I was bothering her and the man in question.

I hadn’t realized I had started moving my foot nervously, while watching her talk to the person on the phone. It did not stop when she started walking back to me, grinning. “So.” She said before sitting back. “I called Luffy-“

A loud sigh of relief escaped my lips as I kicked her foot with mine, “Why did you let me believe it was Law?-“ I was going to keep berating her but stopped myself, gesturing for her to continue as I calmed myself down.

“He said Law had a to do uh, some big word for a very specific kind of surgical procedure- And right now he might just be dead asleep,” She said, making a face as she tried to find the word back. Giving up on that, she continued, “But he has to go by his place in a few, so we’ll know soon enough. Guess he’s not ignoring you for now, right?”

Giving her a very strained smile, I breathed, “Right… yeah…” Standing up and packing all my stuff, I glanced at Nami who was texting rapidly on her phone. As fast as when you’re having a heated debate, and you had to prove your point. Nudging her hand with mine, just barely to not have her drop her phone, I smiled, “Thank you for that though, it’s not what I’d have done but it does lighten something. I kinda still want to throw up and-“

“Hey, hey, finish packing your shit and let’s do something else in the meantime. A girl’s day out, maybe Robin’s free and we could go get some food, watch something or- really whatever you want.” I couldn’t help the grin that made its way on my face, she was always ready to throw hands for us but also tried, and succeeded most of the time, to cheer us up the best way she could.

Nodding, I did as she suggested, and we were soon on our way to distract me from being an idiot. On our way to the city center, we took Robin who had just finished her shift and was free for the rest of the day. We summarized the situation to her in no time, and she was very much on to do whatever we suggested, saying it’s been too long since we did something like that.

The rest of the day was pretty eventful and spending time with them got my mind off things. Along eating at some place, we usually go to when we’re all free, we also went to the mall which as cliché as it sounds was enjoyable. We did things that satisfied all of us, and if some things weren’t the cup of tea of some, for example going to the bookstore for Nami, we’d still find a way to have fun. She thought it’d be funny to find all the books where authors are named “Dick” but soon enough she found some interesting books that got her attention and it calmed her.

When we went to all the stores we wanted, maybe even buying a few things along the way, we left the mall. The sun was setting, and hunger was back after all the energy spent in the afternoon, we opted to get some food at a drive-in and get back home.

Throughout the day, I was tempted to check if I had received an answer, but at my first attempt, Robin took my phone and shoved it in her bag. She told me that I should make him want me, to which Nami said that answering right away would make me look desperate. Now, I did argue back that it was a childish way of thinking, but they did not want to hear it and kept my phone away from me until we were home. I let them; it couldn’t do me much wrong.

When we were finally home, with food at the table, Robin handed me back my phone. “I think you made him wait long enough, here,” Was all she said.

I took it, but placed it face down on the table, “I’m with you guys, I don’t want to be distracted by a hot man, you know?” Grabbing my phone from in front of me, Nami huffed with very little charm, “If you’re not checking, I am!”

Before she could even try to type in my pin code, I snatched it from her hands, throwing her a dirty look while putting it onto my lap. “Hey, we’re just as curious as you are, wonder if he sent one back- he’s a real asshole but he still looks fine.” The ginger said while taking a bite of her food. Shaking my head, I ignored her comment but still thought the same as she did.

While I tried to not mention it again, it was still the main topic of the conversation as we ate. They managed to bring that same topic to what people said about him, the very few people they knew who had had a one-night stand with him said he was very good but always cold with them. They often described it as a wild night, but he’d often insist on getting them back to their place right after. I did not know what to say to that, I wouldn’t mind, nor did I find it odd.

He was right to do so, and he drove them back to their place, I think it was nice. For some reason I felt a little pinch in my chest thinking he’d do that with me, but I wouldn’t have much say in it. Moreover, I am not even sure if I am going to fuck the guy, yeah, get yourself together, it ain’t much but if you get it, it’ll be fun!

We spent a bit more time talking, having finished eating for a while now. When we were done, and tired, we all retreated to our rooms to sleep, or study for others; As for me, I closed the door and got changed. I was forcing myself to not check my phone and take things slow but instead got changed at the speed of light. I then got into bed and unlocked my phone, where were messages from Law and HandSurgeon.

Still feeling petty, I decided to answer HandSurgeon first and opened Discord. I couldn’t help the smile on my face when I read them, feeling proud.

HandSurgeon: Great pictures to get home to. Probably to get off to, too.

HandSurgeon: It’d be a lie to say I don’t want to have some fun with you tonight, have you do exactly as I say while you’re looking at yourself in that mirror of yours. Realizing how willing you are to follow my orders.

HandSurgeon: But I think I should give you more credits for doing exactly as I instructed. I especially love that touch you added on the last one, I did say fully naked, but I appreciate the necklace you’ve added.

HandSurgeon: Although a collar would suit you better, for being so good. So obedient.

HandSurgeon: Maybe you’d enjoy it, but I think you’d rather I take my time and slowly, gently, tie you up with comfortable rope.

HandSurgeon: This I know you’d like, the pressure of the knots being just right, just the perfect amount to get your blood pumping and have you riled up in no time.

HandSurgeon: You already get off by showing off, so you’d love to know I’d relish the sight of you with pretty red ropes all over your body.

HandSurgeon: [sent an attachment]

I made a surprised, yet very satisfied, face at the picture that followed. In what I believe was his drawer, lied a few neatly organized bundles of rope. The image was proof enough that he was not just telling me all this to get me going, but that he was also into it. That made me grin as I typed back, not checking the time at which he had sent me those messages.

Edelweiss: Don’t get me worked up, come on, that’s too promising

Edelweiss: also you’re telling me you have all those ropes at home? And no one to tie up? Come on, I am sure there are tons of people who would love to get the chance to be alone with you and just

Edelweiss: ropes, you know?

Edelweiss: that is if you’re actually good at bondage, or shibari, that shit is pretty hard to work with and it does need a lot of

Edelweiss: carefulness

Edelweiss: ignore my lack of words, I am exhausted ok?

Edelweiss: you have to be cautious is what I’m saying

I then closed the app, thinking that at this hour he’d be asleep, and with a lot of apprehension opened the conversation with Law. My mouth opened slightly at what was on the screen, I looked at the picture first, it was a picture of him with smoke in his face. He looked annoyed, and it was slightly blurry as if he had moved while the picture was being taken.

It was night and he was leaning against a brick wall, a cup in hand, the soft light of the revolving door next to him being the only source of light on the picture; Except for the flash of the camera, even though it was on the black-haired man managed to look good. Come to think of it, it was probably morning more than night, dawn to be precise. And it was purely base on the time filter that, I only now noticed, was on the picture. It read 7 am, but seemed to had been sent a lot later than that time, 3pm precisely.

I looked at the screen, confused, then scrolled up to see the messages that were before and after the photo.

Trafalgar Law 😷: you’re so hot, like wowi90

Trafalgar Law 😷: speecjless

Trafalgar Law 😷: so ready for tmoorrwoww

Trafalgar Law 😷: I apologize for that, my… friend took my phone.

Trafalgar Law 😷: He shouldn’t have seen this, but you are indeed gorgeous.

Trafalgar Law 😷: Did you ask me what my favourite body part was, so that you could send me proper unproper photos? I’ll admit… I do not mind one bit, I’m sure my hand would look perfect around your throat.

Trafalgar Law 😷: hrjà3ç(‘

Trafalgar Law 😷: He acts all cool but he gasped, I swear

Trafalgar Law 😷: He’s not gonna sent shit today, he’s tired and looks like shit but here have this

Trafalgar Law 😷: [sent an attachment]

Trafalgar Law 😷: took it last night, he’s mad at me on it

Trafalgar Law 😷: but he said you liked doctor stuff and he’s wearing his scrubs and nice crocs

Trafalgar Law 😷: I am a doctor too, if you’re interested 😏

Trafalgar Law 😷: [sent an attachment]

I laughed at the photo that followed, it was a close up of a guy with a cigarette in mouth. He wore red lipstick and had fluffy blond hair. He was grinning widely, making a peace sign with the hand that wasn’t holding the phone. So that was the kind of people Law hung out with? He seemed like the exact opposite of him, there were still more messages to check, so I did.

Trafalgar Law 😷: Ignore him, I’ll lock my phone while he’s still here. Send me a message when you’re free, I’m not sending anything else until he’s left my place.

Trafalgar Law 😷: Don’t forget to eat, call me when you’re free.

That was the last message he had sent. I felt bad for only seeing everything now, he must have been waiting for my call for a while. It was pretty late, I shouldn’t call him, maybe text him to see if he’s awake? I had now completely forgotten that anxious episode I had throughout the day and felt more excited than anything for tomorrow.

You: That was a wild ride, you did look cute on that picture. Your friend too, but don’t tell him, I prefer tattooed men 👀

You: It’s alright if he saw, it wasn’t a nude or anything…

You: At least not yet pardner, not yet 🤠

I stopped writing when I saw he was writing, deleting the messages I had started.

Trafalgar Law 😷: Can I call you?

My answer was to call him, I did not think twice. I was in the dark, under my covers, exhausted from the day, and I acted impulsively. He did not waste time and picked up quickly,

“That was fast, are you that bored or that desperate?”

Laughing, I huffed loud enough so he’d hear, “How about we start with a good evening?” it made him laugh as I heard him move, it was followed by the sound of something hitting the ground a few times before a grunt escaped Law’s lips.

“Here, come, that’s it boy, good, sleep. Good evening, I think we need to talk about something,” he started, the feeling in my stomach turning from excitement to panic. I had guessed the first words weren’t addressed to me and didn’t comment on it.

“Ominous much? But go ahead… And give Bepo a good pet from me, please.” I told him slightly hoping he wouldn’t hear how stressed I had now become.

“Just to be clear, I did not ignore you, I passed out. I don’t want you to think I’m a bastard or something like that, I had a very long night. They always end up with a huge night rest, I think this surgery lasted 10 hours-“ He cut himself off, mumbling it wasn’t important and whispering to his dog that I was sending him some cuddles.

I turned on the side and thought about it for a moment, “I didn’t think you were a bastard, I was nervous for no reason. I did regret sending the picture at first, but you enjoyed it so it’s cool, cool, cool… Nami shouldn’t have called Luffy for so little, but she did uh..” There was a short silence, I could hear Law’s breath on the other end of the line, he must have been thinking of a topic to talk about too.

“If you want, you can talk about your day. I’d love to hear it- if you can, I think you swore an oath or something so I don’t know if you can- or if you want, I’m not pressuring you, but don’t force yourself to not talk about your work. I’m all ears,” I said quickly, mumbling at the end that I might fall asleep though.

Chuckling tiredly, the phone rubbed against some fabric and I heard Law’s voice a lot lower and less clearly. “I think I’ll go to sleep, as much as I want to talk about that beautiful picture you sent… of how tempting it looks, how tempting it would be to slowly caress your exposed neck and to kiss it softly, making it sensitive just from my touch, leaving hickey on the way for the world to see- god I’m sure you’d make the most beautiful sounds-“

I laughed nervously, not letting him finish as I spoke up, “That is for you to find out tomorrow… if you can get them out of me, that is. You’re clearly a goner, do you hear yourself? Fantasizing about me like that, you’re lucky this isn’t a competition, or you’d have lost.” I said jokingly, but it made Law react a lot more than I thought it would. I think he sat up, that’s all I could think of from the sound I heard.

“You do realize that all I have to do is bring you to your-“ He cleared his throat before continuing, a lot calmer than a second ago when he was speaking as if I had stepped on his pride. “I am not going to argue, because we both know the moment we’re alone at my place, you won’t be able to hold back. I did promise a good fuck, I intend on keeping that promise, don’t worry about it,” I could hear the smug smile behind the screen, it made me roll my eyes. Yes, I was alone, and there was no one to see this reaction, but it was necessary.

“The more you talk about it, the higher the expectations get, careful there partner.” I replied teasingly, it actually earned me a sincere laugh from Law who I assumed had now laid back on his bed from the shuffle I heard again. It was followed by a grunt, and a muffled ‘Soon, can I at least say good night to her? Jealous boy, come on sleep.’ There was a weak whine then a huffed laugh before I could finally hear him clearly.

“I’ll make it worth it, don’t worry. I have plans for tomorrow, would knowing what’s going to happen tomorrow ease your stress or should I keep it a surprise?” I was surprised by how kind he sounded, he seemed to genuinely care about how I felt, so I told him surprises were cool, but I’d like to know what the plans for tomorrow were. At least I knew what to expect.

“In this order, I’ll come get you, we’ll go by my place because you’re intimidated by my outfit-“ I cut him off, hissing through the phone playfully.

“Oh fuck off, I did not say that, you can dress in a military uniform for all I care, it wouldn’t do anything because I know you sleep with your dog, you’re not scary,”

A short chuckle reached my ears, “So it’s a uniform kink, not just a doctor one. Duly noted, well after that we’ll go the center and get some food at a place, I know has a large variety of things. I didn’t know if you had a special diet or restrictions, so I thought…”

He trailed off, as if unsure of his choice, “It’s very sweet of you, thank you for that but fuck you at the same time for the uniform part, you know?”

It made him laugh loudly, then he continued, “Depending on how late we finish, I think we could either go see a movie or go straight to my place, it’ll also depend on how riled up you’ll be by then-“

This time I was the one who laughed loudly, and suddenly. “You’re unbelievable! Your plan is to get me- you know we could just meet at your place and fuck then be done with it.” I said that, but I liked what he was doing. It was very appealing to have someone this assertive, or perhaps was it arrogance? I couldn’t know if it was all show until I had a proof of what he was capable. I was aware of his… silver tongue, but then again, the first time it happened, my situation was different.

The first time I talked to him, my state of mind was a lot more biased than it was now. I was, for lack of better words, horny to no extent which may have had a play in the effects his words had on me. “Where’s the fun in that? I think I’ll have you begging first, then I’ll fuck you, isn’t it more entertaining like that?”

“And they say romance is dead, here thought you wanted to spend quality time with me because you appreciated my personality,” I said in a fake dramatic tone, laced with sleepiness. I wanted to keep talking to him, but I was slowly falling asleep, and we must have both realized at the same time, how sleepy we were.

“You should rest, so should I. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 2pm, and if I can be honest…” he trailed off once more, his speech a lot slower and less clear than all the times he talked to me. Or perhaps my own brain was slowing it down, because I was falling asleep too. “I’ll probably be as nervous as you are, I don’t usually go on dates, I’m new to all this. So, if you really don’t want to go out to eat, tell me and we’ll change plans.”

“I’m good with it, as long as I’m the one paying this time, mmm… yeah because… two times ‘s a lot.” I mumbled, bringing the covers closer to me, cocooning myself with it. I think he told me something in return, but my tired mind shut off, I don’t remember much afterwards but I know I hung up and I know he talked about Bepo for a moment, but I couldn’t remember anything else.

Even though I fell asleep quickly, it didn’t last long. I woke up at some point during the night, only to realize my phone wasn’t charged when I picked it up for the flashlight to light my way to the bathroom. When I got back to bed, I checked if I had any messages on Discord, I had forgotten to check after my discussion with Law, and was pleasantly surprised to see not only that he was online but he had answered.

HandSurgeon: Not a fan of the attitude you gave me, do you think I’d be talking about tying you up if I did not have the skills to do so?

HandSurgeon: I think you just want to see what I can do, but if that’s what you want, you’ll have to ask nicely.

HandSurgeon: And when I say nicely, I mean, very nicely to cover up the underlying sass of your messages.

HandSurgeon: Now, it does require skillfulness, and I do have to be careful, but do not worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Then again, I still think you’d look great with a collar which would be easier thing to obtain than it’d be for me to tie you up through a screen.

I smiled at his message, I was not planning on meeting the guy in real life, but it was nice to talk about it and it gave me things to dream about. If not, to fantasize about.

Edelweiss: Nooo, there was no brattiness, I swear. I’m sorry if that’s how you it seemed, I was just so exhausted I spurred the words out as they came to my mind

Edelweiss: I’m never wearing a collar in public, that might be your thing but what happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom

Edelweiss: But… I would love to see what you can do, please, sir.

HandSurgeon: Why are you awake? I think you should be asleep, not coming here to see if I can entertain your creative mind.

Edelweiss: I can’t sleep, got plans tomorrow and I’m nervous but it’ll be alright!

It’s true, I couldn’t go back to sleep now. The buzzing inside me made sure of it. But it was weird, I felt agitated but also tired, my mind did not care about how tired my body felt, it was dead set on keeping me awake.

HandSurgeon: Very well then. First, I would never have you wear a collar in public. They did not agree to see that, but I would be more than pleased to be able to pull you closer and grip your jaw tightly while kissing you. The most the public would see, would be the hickeys I’d have left on your neck. Because those are the prettiest of necklace, aren’t they?

HandSurgeon: But the collar? All in the comfort of your bedroom, of course. Now about that shibari, it would take some time to get it done, but I’ll do some ties on my leg.

I wanted to go back to sleep, to be fully rested for tomorrow, but I was also curious about what it’d look like. Was he going to do it over his clothes or was I going to catch a glimpse of his legs? Once again, I felt like a person from the Victorian Era, eager to see the smallest part of his skin.

Edelweiss: well if you put it like that… the idea does not sound half bad, and I could give it a thought as time goes by

Edelweiss: Say, why are you not asleep?

HandSurgeon: Big day tomorrow too, I have things to do. But I do not mind the distraction, I can text and tie at the same time, don’t worry.

So, we did, we chatted casually, both answering slowly. Him, because he was busying tying, and me because my eyelids were closing longer than just a blink. He vaguely talked about his long night, the night prior, and how even though he has most of the day free tomorrow he still had to go there to check up on patients.

I banished the thought that crossed my mind, it connected to that stupid heated dreams I had of being fucked on a hospital bed. I wondered for a sec how it’d be like to have him check up on me, his slender hands checking my pulse, as he looked down at me in all seriousness. I hadn’t realized I was now imagining Law doing that, I shook the thought away. This was not good, I couldn’t mix them up, nor could I keep fetishizing the poor man’s job.

Sighing, I closed my eyes once more, only peeking with one eye open at the screen.

HandSurgeon: [sent an attachment]

HandSurgeon: I’ll admit, doing this relaxed me a lot, I might go to sleep, dear. But now you know, I’m not all talk, you better remember that.

Edelweiss: I want to compliment how good it is, because it is good, but uh

Edelweiss: I’m respectfully looking at those thighs, only respectfully because I don’t want to seem horny but like

Edelweiss: Too tired to rant on how fucking hot it actually is, I’ll give a proper hot feedback tomorrow

HandSurgeon: I’ll take the compliments; However, those knots will be around your thighs. Don’t you forget it. Now, sleep well, have fun tomorrow, if not, I’ll be there.

Edelweiss: good night! Sweet dreams

This time I fell asleep until morning, it wasn’t a restful night. While I did not wake up through the night after that little interlude of texting HandSurgeon, I was still very excited for today. I hardly had any free time, and hardly went on dates either. Both of them together put this entire situation out of my comfort zone, but it was thrilling. I knew it was going to be enjoyable, up until now I never had any problem with Law, why would it start now? Right?

As I got dressed to get to class, I made sure to not make it too much nor not enough. I had to put the minimum effort at least, but not like I was going to a big fancy party. It was casual. But make sure it’s easy to remove, because you’re getting laid today, a little voice echoed in my head. I tilted my head to the side, turning around quickly to take a good look at my outfit and changed my shoes to something easier to take off, then left my room.

Just like every morning, Robin and Nami were ready and discussing in the kitchen, having already prepared breakfast. I tried to tell them I felt too nervous to eat, but it didn’t go through, they sat me down and had me eat as much as I could. Nami argued it was necessary, since I’d be needing a lot of energy if planned on, and I quote “getting dicked down good”.

For once, I did not rush out of the apartment and Nami did not have to threaten me to hurry, it was all going smoothly. We talked about what were our plans for today, I tried to pry information about her day out of her, but she insisted I’d tell her everything. She even asked for addresses, but I told her I did not know the place, and even if I did, I was not planning on having a stalker like her by my side. She only huffed in response before resuming her questioning.

The moment she parked, I rushed out of her car and waved at her, telling her I’d be sure to call her if anything happened. “I mean anything bad, but if it’s like…. Good, I sure as hell ain’t caling, I’ll be enjoying it thoroughly.” I then brought the tip of my fingers to my lips, making a kissing gesture before splaying them away, like a chef kiss. She made a grimace, but then laughed, telling me to be safe and use protection.

That earned us a few looks from the people on the parking lot, but I ignored it and went on about my day. I didn’t receive any messages during the day, considering how late I had talked to HandSurgeon, I had guessed he must have been asleep. As for Law, we had said what was needed last night too, I knew to expect him on the parking lot around 2 pm, until then I’d have to focus on my classes.

Surprisingly I was able to focus, so much that I did not see time pass. I exchanged a few messages with Law during the day, one time in the morning, where he made sure I had woken up, it made me laugh and I replied with a picture of the auditorium.

Later that day, when I told him I might finish early, he was the one to reply with a picture of his desk and computer where he blurred the info. He said he would try his best to be there earlier, but couldn’t promise anything.

When I did finish earlier, about half an hour earlier, I sent him a text.

You: Hey, I am done for today, if you’d like I can come by

You: that way you won’t have to make a detour to come and get me

You: I think your hospital isn’t far from campus, I don’t mind the walk

Trafalgar Law 😷: I am almost done, but if you’d like you can come by. Only if you’re sure it’s safe.

Trafalgar Law 😷: Actually, call me while coming here, I’ll guide you once you’re there, but you’re not walking alone.

You: It’s not dark, I’ll be fine, I know where the hospital is haha

Trafalgar Law 😷: [incoming call]

I laughed as I picked up, already on my way to the big building. “Maybe you should focus on your work instead of me? Unless you’re that desperate?” I hope he understood my jab at his words last night. His fake laugh made me understand he did.

“I can fill in paperwork and be on the phone at the same time, it’s called being productive. And making sure you’re safe.” His voice was slightly further away from the microphone than usual, which meant he was on speaker and busying himself at the same time.

Not arguing back, I stayed on the phone, only making small talk to not disturb him. I did mess around, telling him things like, “Crossing the pedestrian crossing, there’s a baby giving me weird looks though.” He laughed but didn’t say anything, so I went “There’s a couple of old people, hopefully they won’t hit me up, I would hate to turn them down.” It made him laugh again, this time he answered, “Well, you are into older men, are you not? Invite them, see what they say,” It made me snort ungracefully, I did not expect that answer but kept the conversation going like that until I reached the hospital.

When I did, he did as he said he would and guided me inside. I was hesitant at first to go in, but he said nothing would happen, it was a public building after all. Halfway through his instructions, I met his blond friend and told him, he groaned and told me to ask him to guide me to his office, which he did without thinking twice about it.

Law insisted I’d stay on the phone during that time, but his friend, I later learnt his name was Rosinante, grabbed my phone and hung up. “I’ll try my best to keep people out of his office, you do what you want with him- it’s not technically allowed but, you know, you gotta do what you gotta do.”

I gave him a confused look, he mirrored it, probably not understanding my confusion.

Squinting my eyes, I started, “We’re going on a date, I… He just needs to finish some things-“ “OH! I thought you two were going to…” he brought the tip of his two index fingers against one another, then winked.

I was about to tell him that, no, this was not part of the plan right now. Sure, at his place, probably, but not here. Before I could do so, I saw Law make his way out of a glass door to reach both Rosinante and I, giving the taller man a deadly glare.

“Come on, don’t give me that look, I didn’t say anything, right?” The blond man looked down at me with a huge grin, so I played along, he hadn’t said much except trying to be a good wingman and… give Law and I ‘alone time’. “Nah, he was fine. Unfortunately, none of your dirty secret has been spilled- dare I say, sadly.” I joked before bidding Rosinante goodbye and following Law to his office without any other words being exchanged.

When we were inside his office, he closed the door and pointed at the seats by the window, telling me I could sit there. He then made his way to his desk and gave me a look when I simply stood at the entrance, confused. On my right was the toilets, if I walked further in, Law’s desk was on the right and the seats right in front of me, rugs decorating the tiled floor. “Are you going to take a seat?”

It happened to fast in my mind, I don’t why I did that, I don’t know why I did not take a seat and waited. Perhaps waiting that long, just to get a taste at the man, was too much for my stupid brain. Whatever the reason was, I put my bag down and walked up to him. Turning around, on his chair, he raised a brow, a hand still resting on the desk. “What if I want to sit here,” the confidence I had on my way to him, for those few seconds, had long since diminished and the words that left my mouth were said in a lower tone that how it began. I gave him a look, then down at his lap, before looking up at him again.

I had placed my hand on the desk, to not show how my hands were shaking from how far out of my comfort zone this was. I tried hard not to look away, Law was taking longer to answer. By longer, it was simply a few seconds instead of saying yes right away, and that made me hesitate.

Then he smiled, he tried to hold back a grin as he leaned back on his chair. “That’s bold. But then again, I knew you wouldn’t be able to hold back until then. The first time we met you already seemed on edge, so,” He patted his lap a few times, then gently grabbed my hand that was gripping the desk tightly, I stepped closer and placed both of my legs on either side of the chair so that my weight wasn’t fully on him but on my legs too. I kept my eyes on his, the whole time, until I felt him press his hands on the back of my thighs to have me rest fully on his lap.

“Don’t be shy, show me how much you want it. You said you wanted to sit, so sit.” He whispered, a smug smile on his lips. While his face had turned slightly redder, he wasn’t letting it show that he was embarrassed, if he even was. “Are you going to keep staring, or are you going to make it fun?” The moments those words left his lips, I cradled his face in my hands and kissed him with greed. He smiled into the kiss, before gripping my waist strongly and pulling me closer to him. I let my hands move to the back of his neck, gripping a fistful of his hair.

He groaned out loud, breaking the kiss to give me a hungry look, I looked down at him, mirroring his proud smirk. “Does this mean we skip dinner and go straight to my place?” he breathed against my lips, leaving kisses from my jaw to my neck, where he stayed a bit longer. I felt his warm tongue touch my skin and couldn’t help but laugh, thinking that he did not waste time to attack my neck. He stopped, humming curiously. “I am definitely up to go straight to your place, but I also want a taste of what I’m going to get once there…” I said next to his ear, grazing my teeth against it as my hands slid to his pants to untuck his shirt.

Chuckling, he stopped moving and leaned back, his hands on my thighs as he looked at me struggling to unbutton his shirt. “You’re so eager, and to think you thought you’d be able to stay with me an entire day without wanting to fuck me.” He grinned, his nails digging inside my clothes as he trailed them to my ass and grabbed it, pulling me closer. When I finally managed to open his shirt, I looked up at him and we both understood what was happening and suddenly stopped everything.

I couldn’t believe this was happening to me.

[Part 8]

#words of pleasure #trafalgardwaterlaw #one piece trafalgar law #trafalgar one piece #trafalgar law #trafalgar law x reader #One piece law #law x reader #law one piece #wop #AO3 #ao3 writer #writings #fanfiction #archiveofourown #physicalturian #physicalturian AO3

94 notes · View notes

tarklesbehindthescenes · 3 years

Note

🔥

Transformers Prime was so disappointing. As I said in tags, I'll try to be nice, but I just. I'm going to put this under keep reading. It will be lengthy. I do have some good things to say about it and I will, but I have so many complaints. Can't say I didn't warn you.

I'm going to start off with: I saw Cliffjumper in the first episode, paused immediately and told my friend that if he got red-shirted in the first five minutes to prove the situation was serious, I was going to be ANGRY. Lo and behold, Cliffjumper died to prove the situation was serious. And what was the time? Oh, around 4 minutes 30 seconds give or take. I screamed. My friend said something to the effect of, "I think they killed him off because his voice actor was The Rock and he was pricey". My response to that is, "Then maybe they shouldn't have hired him and gotten someone else."

My boyfriend came to the conclusion at one point that Optimus Prime sets the tone for the Transformer shows he's in. And I'm inclined to agree. Optimus is an absolute edgelord in this and I can't make myself like him. And the rest of the show follows. All I'm seeing is a show that tries too hard to be dark and gritty. It's like the writers were focused so much on the dark themes that the characters, their personalities and their backstories, they were all just an after thought. To me. Just my opinion.

Bulkhead... Why the heck didn't they keep Animated Bulkhead's personality? Why did they make him a generic brute? Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with the generic brute types, but Bulkhead is different. It just feels like a slight on what Bulkhead's character was in Animated. I understand that each continuity has every right to their differences. But it still bugs me.

I don't like Arcee. I don't care about her, I don't like the show's half-hearted attempts to make me care about her, she's so darn bland, and it really feels like she is looking to bring down the moods of anyone around her. "Smokescreen's too cheerful and immature. Time to berate him." Glitch, let him have some fun! Dumping hamburgers on someone's car is not something to be mean to him for. Just roll your optics and leave the mood be.

Ratchet does not hit it for me like G1 and Animated do. Maybe because he's racist? He treats the humans like vermin. And then the show just suddenly shows him with a slight change of heart when Raf gets sick. No warning or build up. Just "You humans are so annoying. Oh crap, this child I suddenly care about is dying!" I may be exaggerating, but that's how it felt to me. I guess an argument could be made that Animated Ratchet is racist, too? So if that's the case, then maybe that's not what rubs me the wrong way. But either way, I really don't care for Prime's Ratchet.

I don't care about Raf or Jack. They're just... there. Jack's blander than Arcee. Raf is just some kid with computer knowledge. How in the world does he understand Bee? This isn't G1, they can't just pass it off with "He just can". And I think you said you like Miko, so I'm sorry about this, but I loathe her. She just grates on every fiber of my being. Why is she allowed to put everyone in danger with no repercussions? If they do acknowledge it, it's usually just a slap on the wrist and she goes and does it again. I consider myself a pack animal, so if anyone was pulling stunts that endangered my family, I wouldn't hesitate to deck 'em and give 'em an earful. I'm sorry.

Starscream feels like a joke... He's so hung up on killing Cliffjumper. Like dude. Surely you killed more than just that one tired and beaten Autobot throughout the entire time the war has been going on. And if you haven't, how the heck did you get your position? People say his design is sexy and I just... don't see it. He's very expressive, and the way he moves his wings is great, but aside from that. His voice actor did a great job. But Starscream having a deep vampire-ish voice is not my cup of tea.

Soundwave really should have gotten more screen time. When I saw him slam down Airachnid, I knew I really wanted to see more Soundwave action. Megatron looks like Shredder's armor grew a face (TMNT). I can't take Megatron seriously whatsoever. From his bulging optics that can't look straight ahead, to his alt mode that shows his head and eyes peaking out at the top.

Can the Decepticons in general just have some more color, please? Knock Out and Breakdown are okay. Skyquake and his bro can get a pass. But most everyone else are just colored black, grey, super deep purple, etc. Airachnid should have died in the explosion caused to the Autobot base.

The Autobots are really not much better than the Decepticons. The amount of vehicon violence. They make it a game. But vehicons are filler, they're there to be cannon fodder, etc. Vehicons are so used to being killed off that the second they get punched, they lay down and pretend to be dead so they don't actually die. And the Autobots just laugh amongst themselves and treat it like some game. G1 treated Decepticon battles like a game sometimes too, I know, but they weren't actually killing their enemies. They were just thrashing their butts. The Prime bots kill off the cannon fodder, but don't kill off the main Decepticon characters when they get the chance? Oh! But Bulkhead smashing Starscream's clone to a bloody pulp and killing him! So unnecessary when the clone was clearly not a threat.

The abuse that Megatron throws at Starscream isn't really addressed in a satisfying way. Nobody tries to comfort him or help him get out of the abuse. It just happens. I haven't gone through all of season 3, so I'm only going off of what I've seen so far.

How. Dare they tease the idea of Breakdown having a change of heart and then kill him in such a stupid fashion. Just as I was getting past the fact that they turned him from a paranoid combiner in G1 to another brute like they did with Bulkhead, and beginning to like him. And he was friends with the vehicons! He was the only one that treated them with respect and gave them the time of day! And the writers killed him off! I will never not be salty about that.

...Okay, I think that does it for the negative stuff. Mostly. Now I can move on to the positive stuff.

Smokescreen is precious and I adore what they did to him. It was not worth waiting two seasons for him, but now that he's showed up, I can tolerate the show a little more. He just wants to be the best he can be and prove himself to Prime. The team does not deserve this ray of sunshine.

Knock Out and Breakdown's dynamic was adorable. It took a bit for them as individuals to grow on me, but in the end, I like them and I like their relationship.

I appreciate that the show gave the Decepticons some wins as well as the Autobots. Really made it feel like an actual war and that the "good guys" weren't overpowered.

Scraplets were a nice touch. I like the concept of some tiny terror being a predator to mechs. Makes the bots feel less indestructible. The bringing in of the Insecticons was kinda nice. Wish the design was different, but I appreciate they were even brought in. They really feel like a threat.

I liked the arc where Earth started being cyberformed. I don't think I will never not like the concept of cyberforming.

June Darby with her crush on Optimus. Oh, how I wish they explored that.

Miko and Bulkhead's dynamic is nice. They have a good friendship. I like the idea of a troublemaker dragging around their dim, but sturdy friend around and getting into trouble.

Ratchet on the synthetic energon was great. Give me more kickass doctor, please. Minus the vehicon torture and slaughter.

Predaking is precious as well. I think his fate has been spoiled for me, but we'll see. Hope I'm wrong.

I appreciate that around season 2 the humans started doing more work. They were no longer freeloading.

The vehicon that knocked Optimus' ass out with a tree trunk. He must have had direct beef with Prime and was training for that moment, because oh my goodness.

There was more that I liked about the show. Hence why I don't hate it. I'm just super bummed that I can't move past all those negative points. It had potential. And I want to enjoy it. Whoever loves Prime, like my sister, that's great. I'm glad you do. Somebody has to enjoy it. But it's not for me.

#Transformers #Prime #rant #strong opinions #tl;dr #I don't hate this show #But I can't enjoy it as much as others do #which is sad

22 notes · View notes

lemonpeter · 3 years

Text

STARKER, by Peter B. Parker

Chapter 8: Bondage

That’s only the tumblr title so it shows up in tags, the real one is on ao3 I believe

A/N: how do these chapters always end up so long? we don’t really know. peter’s going through it, yall. we’re officially halfway through this story, and we can’t wait to get the rest of it up for you to read. big things are happening!! - bloo and bri <3 💕

(also- you may have noticed, but for every chapter, the title is in reference to the au or trope it features. we aren’t just lazy and unoriginal lol...there’s a method to the madness)

Warnings: privacy invasion (Peter dealing with the fallout of the previous chapter), very nff, d*m/s*b relationship

Masterlist ao3

————

With shaking hands, Peter slid the glasses from his face. He closed his fist around them as he tried in vain to steady his breathing. He had no idea what he was supposed to do. What the fuck was he supposed to do?

Once again, it felt like the world had shifted on its axis and everything was closing in on him.

What the fuck was that? How had SHIELD infiltrated EDITH’s programming in order to allow May into his illusions? How long had she been real? If she’d been the May he’d conjured every time...

That would explain why his spidey sense had reacted so strongly that first time, when he introduced his family to Tony. He had known that something was wrong, but hadn’t been able to discern what. Because he was looking for a threat in his environment, not a digital one.

Hindsight was always fucking 20/20.

May’s presence in the illusions aside, the fact still making his skin crawl, how long had SHIELD been watching him? What had they seen? Were they always watching?

The thought made Peter feel sick to his stomach. They all knew what he was doing, they saw him with Tony. That meant that they...they *knew how he felt about* Tony. Fuck, they’d seen them having sex, something that was not meant for anyone else to even know about, much less witness. If they’d been watching at all, they had to have seen it, there was no way they hadn’t.

Tears began to sting in the teen’s eyes, and he swallowed thickly around the bile that was making its way up his throat. He felt...dirty. Violated.

Betrayed.

This was supposed to be just for him, just for him and Tony. But instead, a bunch of people he didn’t even know were watching his deepest fantasies play out with an illusion of a man who was thirty-odd years older than him. Not to mention the fact that said man had been…gone for nearly a year.

...That meant that even May had seen.

The reality of that fact made his stomach flip, shame and disgust burning in his veins.

Not only had his aunt seen him cuddled up to Tony, watched as he married the man, not holding anything back... She’d probably seen him in every vulnerable moment, any time they’d slept together, even the less explicit intimate interactions the two of them had shared. Just like the people at SHIELD had.

He wrapped one arm around his torso in a weak attempt to comfort himself and soothe his churning stomach. He hadn’t eaten anything in a few hours, but the meager food he’d had was threatening to make a reappearance. The more he thought about the reality of the situation, the more it sunk in, the worse he felt.

Guilt piled on top of shame, disgust was added onto betrayal, violation was added to the entire mix. And it all made him want to crawl out of his own skin and be sick.

He wanted to disappear.

The only consolation he had was that they wouldn’t be able to get in again. There was no way for them to influence him or have any sort of impact on the illusions. He couldn’t control anything else they might do, but EDITH had guaranteed that the new 24/7 monitoring and firewall improvement would ensure that they wouldn’t be able to get back in and mess everything up.

He couldn’t believe May had done something like that. Well. He could, but he didn’t want to. He knew that she wanted him to go back to New York, back to her and Happy, but it hadn’t crossed his mind that she’d actually get involved enough to try to intervene.

He’d thought that maybe she of all people would understand why he was doing it. She had lost so much herself. Maybe she would get it and let him be. Since he was finally truly happy, for the first time in a very long while.

But apparently not. She’d somehow come in without permission, lied to him in order to get him to trust her and then proceeded to try to take him away from the one thing, the one place, the one person that made him feel safe. She obviously didn’t give a fuck about Peter’s actual happiness and well-being. She was just being selfish, not thinking about what he actually wanted but rather what she wanted for him.

He still missed her, though. What she did... really hurt him. He wasn’t going to get over it anytime soon. But he still loved her. He knew that in reality, she was the only living family that he had left. He wished that she could have just understood, could have accepted the choices that he’d made and would continue to make. Maybe they could have even coexisted, in the new world he was creating for them. He could have had his family back, all of them, together and whole, just the way it should have been.

He was doing everything in his power… How was everything still falling apart? The whole point of leaving, of coming to the compound, of not communicating with anyone, was so that he could get away. So that he could have some peace.

And he’d found some, or at least he thought he had.

But his happiness was once again being stolen from him.

He was so tired of having to deal with the utter crock of bullshit that was his life. Fucking Parker luck.

He didn’t want to be in charge anymore.

Maybe he didn’t have to be.

(In the back of his mind, he thought briefly again of the fact that everything he did had spectators, whether he liked it or not. Despite feeling massively uncomfortable, he knew there was nothing he could really do about it, not without having to rewrite part of the program. And there was no way he was going to do that. There was always a small chance that he would lose any existing data. He couldn’t risk losing what he had built with Tony.

If they were going to watch, then…..well, he was going to put on a show.)

***

Peter had decided that he was going to bring his idea up to Tony. Even after thinking about it for a while, he wasn’t sure how to go about it. What was he supposed to say? “Hey Tony, I want you to be my dom?”

If he was being completely honest, that probably would have worked. (In fact, he knew it would have.)

But Peter couldn’t make himself just come out with the words like that. It wasn’t him. That wasn’t how he did things.

So instead, when it was time for Tony to come home from work, and he had gotten himself ready, put on some of the lingerie he’d bought during the honeymoon, Peter positioned himself on the floor in front of the elevator, kneeling on a pillow he’d taken from the couch.

He was only there for a minute or two when the doors opened and out walked his husband, making his heart beat wildly in his chest.

“Peter? Baby, what’s going on? What’s wrong? Why are you in the floor?” He paused, taking in the fact that Peter’s body was clad in only a lace bralette and matching panties, the aegean blue material popping enticingly against his skin. The man blinked, letting his eyes roam over the man’s submissive form before they snapped up to meet his husband’s. “Pete?”

For a moment Peter just sat there, searching Tony’s face. Then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath to steel himself for what he was about to do. His gaze met the older man’s once more. “Daddy.”

Eyes flashing, Tony reacted to the title much like Peter had hoped he would, and he recognized the dynamic that the boy was trying to set up. But he still wasn’t sure what was happening. “C’mon, baby, talk to me.”

That was the last thing Peter wanted to do. He shook his head minutely and closed his eyes again, sighing heavily.

Why couldn’t Tony just roll with it? He never had a problem indulging his kinks with no conversation before. They never needed to talk about it. Or so Peter thought. Why was the man insisting that he come out and say it this time?

“If you really want this, I need to hear you say it, Peter.”

“I’m tired,” he said finally, voice soft. “I don’t want to think anymore, I don’t want to think about any of it. I want…” Peter let himself trail off, swallowing. “I want to give control to you, Tony.” He let his eyes meet his husband’s again.

The man watched him for a moment more, face neutral. Whatever he saw must have satisfied him, as his eyes darkened and his stance shifted almost imperceptibly.

But Peter definitely noticed.

Something about the subtle change in his posture made Tony immediately appear more dominant, and Peter felt something deep within himself give. Yes, this was exactly what he wanted. To give himself to Tony, all of himself, until there was nothing left of him that wasn’t Tony’s, too.

A low hum emanated from the taller man’s chest as he crossed his arms, sharp yet caring eyes still trained consideringly on Peter’s kneeling form. “You need Daddy to take care of you, honey? Show you that you don’t have to do everything on your own, that it’s all gonna be okay?”

Peter was nodding before he even realized it. “Please,” he whispered. “Tony, please, yes.”

“Ah-ah,” Tony chided, walking forward a few steps until he was standing right in front of the boy. He reached down, taking Peter’s chin in his hand. His grip was firm, but gentle enough that it didn’t actually hurt. “That’s not my name right now, kid. What do you call me?”

Mouth suddenly dry, Peter swallowed. “Daddy.” The word had the muscles in his lower stomach clenching as he felt that molten heat begin to pool deep inside of him.

Tony smiled down at him as he ran the pad of this thumb over Peter’s bottom lip. “That’s right, baby.”

Peter let his lips part and he pushed his head forward slightly so that the finger entered his mouth. He gently sucked on the digit, enjoying the weight and warmth of it on his tongue.

“Do you trust me, Peter?” Removing his hand, Tony shrugged off his suit jacket, letting it fall to the floor and rolling up the sleeves of his white button-up.

“With my life,” Peter said automatically, still staring up at the man with wide eyes.

“Good.” His hands moved to pull at the knot of his tie, feeling the boy’s gaze burning into his skin. The gold of his wedding band glinted in the light. “Now crawl to the bedroom.”

Tony watched as Peter did just that, adjusting his position so that he was on all fours as he began making his way across the entryway and through the living room. A shiver ran through Peter’s body, and Tony knew that the hardwood floor was cold, especially with practically all of his skin exposed.

But he knew that his baby could take it.

Peter would take whatever Tony wanted to give him.

Staying a few paces behind his lover at all times, Tony’s eyes roved over Peter’s ass, watching the way it moved as he began ascending the stairs. He licked at his bottom lip, already imagining all the ways he was going to take his boy apart, break him down until he was begging for Tony to fill him up, to stuff him full of his cock.

The heat of Tony’s eyes on him had Peter’s blood thrumming in his veins as he reached the top step, turning the corner where he could see their bedroom door a few feet away. He felt...anxious, but in a good way. He didn’t know exactly what the older man had planned for him, but he was being honest when he said he trusted Tony.

(He didn’t say that Tony was probably the only person he trusted at this point.

Once they had both made it into the room, Peter now kneeling down on the floor at the foot of the bed, Tony didn’t let the teen out of his sight even as he pushed the door closed, arm extended out behind him. It shut, the sound nearly deafening in the quiet.

Shifting his weight, Tony opened his mouth, making no moves to get closer to his partner at the moment. “How you doing, baby?” The man tried to keep his voice soft, so as to not startle Peter, but as he had already allowed himself to slip pretty far into his dom headspace, he couldn’t completely get rid of the deep, commanding rasp.

Peter swallowed. “I’m okay,” he said quietly, making eye contact for a second before lowering his gaze to his knees, where his hands were loosely clasped.

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Just okay?” He paused and ran a hand through his hair, resulting in him looking slightly disheveled. It was at odds with the rest of his put-together appearance. “I’m gonna need more than okay, Pete. What are you thinking? Tell me.”

Eyes wide, not able to explain why he felt so compelled to comply, Peter did. “I’m great, Daddy. I’m just...nervous, I guess. I trust you, more than anything, and I want to know what’ s going to happen. Also I just,” he paused, a flush coming to his cheeks. “I love you so much.”

The older man’s eyes softened, and then he did take a step towards Peter. Then another. “I love you too, Peter.” He kept walking until he was standing right in from his husband, staring down at him, the tips of his shoes not even an inch from the bare skin of Peter’s knees. “Your safeword is ‘rhubarb’, okay baby? Repeat it back to me.”

A hint of a smile tugged at Peter’s lips at the word. He took a deep breath to compose himself before peering up at Tony again and speaking. “My safeword is ‘rhubarb’,” he intoned lightly.

“Good boy.” Something ignited in Tony as he witnessed the other’s reaction to the words. “You like that, don’t you, baby?” As if he didn’t know the answer from the barely audible mewl that escaped his lips and the way the ruddy tinge to his cheeks intensified. “Like knowing that Daddy’s pleased, that he’s happy with you?”

Peter nodded softly. “Yes, Daddy.”

“That’s all you want, isn’t it baby?” His hands moved to his tie, which was draped over his neck. He pulled it down and held it out in front of him, an end in each hand. “Close your eyes, Peter.”

Obliging after only a moment of hesitation, Peter’s lids fell shut. He sighed at the feeling of the soft, cool silk on the heated skin of his face.

“How does that feel?”

“It’s nice. I like it.” He paused. “There’s no strong smells in here which is nice but I can hear everything. I mean I already could but- This is so much more-”

Tony tutted softly, seeing the way the boy was getting frustrated with himself for rambling a bit, the nervous energy needing some way to escape. “Shhhh, relax baby. You don’t have to think, remember? Turn that little genius brain of yours off for a bit, huh? Let Daddy handle it, I’ll take care of everything, Pete.” He made a point not to touch him, not wanting to overwhelm him any further.

Peter sniffed, his nose twitching. “Okay.” He shifted his posture, rolling his shoulders and leaning to the side a bit to adjust his legs. He focused on the beating of Tony’s heart rather than his own, finding it more reassuring. “Okay,” he repeated, quieter this time, mostly speaking to himself.

Tony let them sit in the quiet for a moment, until he was satisfied that Peter had calmed down. “Good job, baby.” Hands dropping to his waist, Tony began to unfasten his belt. The sound of the metal clink might as well have been a gunshot with the way that Peter jerked. “Easy, kid, it’s just me.” After he pulled the leather through the loops on his pants, he let it drop down to the carpet where it landed with a thud. He undid his button and zipper before pulling his cock out so that he could stroke himself to full hardness.

“Look at you, baby. So pretty, down there on your knees for me,” he groaned. He circled his thumb around the head a few times, spreading the wetness there as he took in the sight before him. “So perfect for Daddy.”

Peter’s nipples had hardened underneath the dark lace and he pressed his thighs together at the sound of Tony’s hand moving over the slick skin of his shaft. Saliva was beginning to pool in his mouth; he could feel the heat of Tony’s erection in front of his face, the deep musk of the man’s scent like a drug to him. He made a soft noise in the back of his throat. “Please,” he whispered.

Now fully hard, Tony grabbed at Peter’s mussed curls with his left hand. He used his right to guide his cock to the boy’s lips, letting the tip rest there before tapping it against them a few times. “Open up, sweetheart.” When Peter did as he was told, Tony let out a deep sigh at the feeling of his mouth suckling on the head.

Peter whined again. His tongue danced around the tip of his husband’s cock and he sucked greedily at the salty fluid there. It was so heady, and he could already feel himself slipping down, bleeding into that space he’d always wondered about. His jaw began to go slack, the rest of his body relaxing in kind.

“There you go, baby,” Tony groaned, starting to cant his hips, pushing himself further into the wet heat of Peter’s mouth. He could tell from the way Peter suddenly went more pliant that he was starting to drop. “It’s alright, I’ve got you.”

The boy took him readily, even unconsciously reached a hand up in an attempt to find Tony’s hip and pull him closer. He keened in displeasure when Tony gently nudged him away.

“Hey, uh-uh, hands behind your back, kid. No touching.”

Another whine, but the young man once again followed the instruction. He began to bob his head, the lewd sounds of his mouth moving on the slick flesh filling the air.

Tony kept his fingers tangled in Peter’s hair as he cursed under his breath. “*Fuck*, Peter, that’s it baby. So perfect, you suck Daddy’s cock so good.” He started to thrust his hips again, shallowly at first but then getting deeper. When he reached the back of Peter’s throat, the boy’s muscles contracted around him as he gagged, desperately trying to swallow. “Shit, shit,” Tony muttered, eyes slipping shut at the sensation.

When Peter started to tense up, rising on his knees slightly, the man pulled back, leaving him spluttering as he tried to catch his breath. Thick drool was running down his chin as he coughed, and Tony didn’t hesitate before running his dick through it. “Open,” he commanded, scooping some of the liquid up with the pads of his fingers so he could push it back into the boy’s mouth. His cock was quick to follow, immediately going as deep as he could in order to make Peter’s body jerk again. “Swallow.”

Peter did his best, trying not to choke as the muscles in his throat contracted weakly around the intrusion. He tried to focus on breathing through his nose, but he gagged anyway, lurching backwards even though he was unable to get away, tethered by the firm grip of the hand clutching at his head.

Pulling back to let him breath for a moment, the sound of the frantic gasping making him grow impossibly harder, Tony only waited a few seconds before snapping his hips forward again. He fucked gently in and out of Peter’s mouth, praises falling unbidden from his own. “So perfect, Peter, god, you’re perfect. So good for me, kid.”

He could feel himself getting close, too close, after a minute so he roughly pulled Peter from his dick. “Shit, baby, almost made me cum,” he breathed heavily, almost as loud as the boy’s hurried lungfuls of air, and slowly tucked himself back into his slacks, still slick with spit. “You did so good, Peter.” His fingers released Peter’s hair, running through it soothingly a few times instead before moving to the lack of his head to tug at the blindfold.

Peter was firmly in subspace now, so the older man felt that the sensory deprivation wasn’t necessary anymore. And he wanted to see those big brown eyes for what he had planned next.

Kneeling down in front of him, Tony kissed the teen’s forehead and then his lips. His thumb swept over the apple of his cheek. “Hey, baby, can you look at me? How are you doing?”

Said eyes blinked up at him tearily, and Peter sniffled before coughing wetly. “Good,” he said, voice soft and wrecked, only able to meet the man’s gaze for a moment before his eyes fell. They paused on Tony’s clothed erection for a moment until they were trained on his own knees again. He blinked a few times before his mouth opened. “Knees hurt.”

Tony immediately moved, scooped the boy into his arms. “Thank you for telling me,” he said into Peter’s temple, pressing a kiss there before he gently deposited him on the bed. “Lay down for me, honey.” His eyes ran over the slight body sprawled out on top of the sheets, taking in the flush that seemed to cover most of Peter’s skin.

He looked absolutely delicious, slightly dazed with his cock hard and leaking in the dark blue of the lace panties.

Leaning down, Tony pressed gentle pecks over each of Peter’s red kneecaps, then switched to leaving a trail of them up the inside of his thighs.

Peter sighed happily, squirming a bit at the touch. He inhaled sharply when he suddenly felt the heat of Tony’s mouth over his fabric covered erection. “Daddy,” he whimpered, hips automatically twitching up in an attempt to find more stimulation.

“Shhhh,” Tony soothed, pulling away. He rubbed his thumb over this inside of Peter’s ankle. “Think you can kneel again for me, baby?” At Peter’s slight frown, he clarified, smiling softly. “Not on the floor, up here on the bed. Can you do that?” When he received a soft nod in response, he helped get the boy into position before climbing off the bed to rifle through one of the drawers in the nightstand, reassuring Peter that he just needed to grab something.

Peter watched him for a moment, mind drifting. He felt floaty, like he wasn’t quite in his body. It took a lot of effort to wiggle his toes, they felt...far away. Moving his fingers was easier, but it still took a good bit of concentration. Everything was soft, muted, like his head was stuffed full of cotton. Or something thick, like molasses.

It was a feeling that he decided he liked.

Suddenly Tony was back in front of him, stroking his cheek. “There you are, kid. Gonna tie you up now, okay honey?” He waited until Peter made eye contact with him before accepting it as consent, pressing a soft kiss to his lips and beginning to fiddle with the bundle of soft, black rope in his grip.

Peter smiled dopily to himself as he watched how Tony wrapped the silky cords around one hand before unwinding them again.

His gaze stayed on the man’s hands. He trusted those hands with anything. They were strong, capable. He never worried that those hands would hurt him. Not unless he wanted them to.

His eyes snapped up to Tony’s face when the dominant cleared his throat, calling Peter to attention once more.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, not breaking the heated eye contact that followed. He was getting lost in the depths of Tony's dark irises.

Tony hummed softly, fingers sliding against the soft rope that he was holding. “Don’t be, baby. It’s alright. What were you thinking about?” It was asked gently, but was clearly more of a command to answer than just a casual question.

“Your hands,” Peter answered instantly, cheeks heating at how eagerly he responded. He wanted to look away but found himself unable to.

“Uh huh. And what about them?”

“How strong they are. And beautiful. And how much I trust them. How much I trust you,” he whispered. He finally broke the eye contact, face burning. He probably sounded ridiculous.

“Look at me, honey.” Tony watched him, moving closer until he was kneeling on the bed in front of Peter. “I’m so glad you trust me.” He leaned in and pressed a gentle yet firm kiss to the sub’s lips as his hands moved to remove the blue lace from Peter’s chest. “Gonna take this off okay?”

Peter nodded slightly, melting into the kiss and whining when the heat of the other man’s lips left his.

A low chuckle came from Tony when he heard. He let the bralette fall to the floor at the side of the bed. “Sorry, baby. I’ve got something else I need to do before I can keep kissing you. Is that okay?”

“Yes, Daddy.” Peter’s bottom lip poked out slightly in a pout, despite his words.

“Thank you. Now, can you work with me here? I’ll need you to stay still for this part. Then we’ll lay you back down to do the rest.”

Peter nodded obediently, fixing his expression as he gazed at his husband.

Tony got to work quickly, staying silent as he focused.

The rope was looped around Peter’s chest, resting snugly on top of his pecs as it was brought back around and secured.

It was wrapped around again, underneath this time. The rope was tight around him, but not enough for it to hurt or even dig into his skin uncomfortably.

All he knew was the firm pressure of the cords around his body, holding onto him. He knew that he felt safe.

His eyes slipped shut as he relaxed, letting Tony artfully secure the silk rope around his body.

He didn’t open them again until he felt the warmth of his partner’s hands pulling away. He wasn’t quite sure how long he’d been spaced out, peacefully floating in his mind while Tony worked on him.

Tony leaned back to admire his handiwork, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “How does that feel, baby?” It certainly looked gorgeous, the black silk contrasting perfectly against Peter’s pale, lightly freckled skin.

“It’s-“ Peter’s voice was crackly as he started speaking. How long had it been since they started? Much longer than he’d realized, it seemed. “It’s really nice. Tight. But not too tight. Huggy.”

The older man laughed softly, rubbing a finger over one cord. If it was obvious that Peter was deep into subspace after the blowjob, Tony didn’t even know how to describe the boy’s current state. He loved it. It was nice to see him so relaxed and content.

He’d obviously needed someone else to take control of him for a while. And Tony was happy to help. He’d do anything for Peter.

“That’s good, honey. I don’t want it to hurt you. It’s supposed to be calming. Is it working? Do you feel safe?” He couldn’t keep the amused note out of his voice.

Peter nodded sluggishly, like the movement took all his focus. And it honestly did, given how deep he was in his headspace. Everything was soft and warm around the edges and nice.

“Good. Let’s lay you down now, okay? I’ll do your wrists next. Then your feet.” Tony walked the boy through the plan, letting him get used to the idea. He rubbed at his back as he straightened up on his knees, humming. “Not as young as I used to be, huh.” It was more to himself than anything.

“That’s okay, Daddy,” Peter spoke up gently as he moved forward on the bed a bit. It was hard to do so without being able to put his arms out to help steady him, so he was a bit wobbly on his knees, but managed to get to the center of the mattress. “I like you just the way you are.”

Tony chuckled, nodding. “I guess I’m glad for that, huh.” He placed a hand on the small of Peter’s back, helping guide him first into a sitting position, legs out in front of him, and then so that he was laying on his back. “Come on, baby. I know you’re all relaxed and everything, just need you to help me out a little with this.”

Once Peter was settled, he relaxed into the down comforter, content to just watch what the dom was doing.

Tony grabbed the final lengths of rope that he’d need to finish up. One for Peter’s wrists, then two others: one for each of his ankles. Those would be used to tie his feet to the end of the bed, keeping his legs spread. Less calm-inducing than the others, but it was infinitely more functional given his plans.

He took the longer cord first, humming as he tried to think about how he wanted Peter’s hands tied.

Typically he’d go for behind the back, it always had a nice, clean look and made the temptation to touch lessen. It also did a lot for making one feel truly restrained. But he needed the sub to be on his back, so he ultimately decided that his hands would be tied in the front.

He mentally went through the rope work he was planning, wanting to make sure he didn’t overlook anything, before he began executing the action on his husband.

It took only a few minutes for Tony to secure his hands in front of him, before he was moving on to his lower body. He tied the rope around his ankles and feet, so that the pressure wasn’t all in one spot and making the boy sore, and then finished by securing it to the footboard of the bed.

Peter tugged at the bonds slightly when he noticed that Tony was done, looking down at the loops around his ankles from where his head was propped up on the pillows.

He knew that he could easily get out of the restraints if he wanted. But the thing was...he didn’t want to.

He was finally able to give up control, not having to constantly have everything in his grip. He was able to hand it all off to Tony, letting himself relax.

And it was absolutely perfect.

He was pulled out of his thoughts as Tony’s hands started sliding up his sides, stopping when they reached the harness wrapped around him.

“You look amazing, baby,” Tony mused. Then he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to the center of his sub’s sternum. Right above the place where the harness was divided up the middle and split to loop over Peter’s shoulders.

As he pulled his lips away, his hands came up to cup at Peter’s chest. His pecs were pushed out from the way the rope was tight around them. Tony was entranced.

“Look at these gorgeous tits,” he teased, thumbs quickly swiping over Peter’s peaked nipples.

It caused Peter to flush and shiver, arching up into the slight contact. It was nothing too serious, but he needed it all the same.

“Daddy,” he whined, breath catching in his throat. “Please….”

“Please what?” Tony asked, smirking slightly. “Use your words, kid. What do you want?”

Peter huffed. “Want you to touch me,” he breathed.

Tony’s eyes flashed dangerously. “Oh, is that all? Want me to touch you? Well, baby, I’m sure I can do just that.”

The gleam in his eyes made the teen slightly nervous again, but-

No, maybe nervous was the wrong word. He still couldn’t quite come up with a better description, though. Maybe he was… He was excited. Tony obviously had plans for him. And he still couldn’t wait to know exactly what they were.

“Thank you, Daddy,” he said sweetly.

Tony hummed softly, quickly pinching one of Peter’s nipples before withdrawing his touch entirely. “You remember that, okay? You wanted me to touch you. Acted like you’d die without it.”

Peter whimpered at the sharp stimulation and then again at its absence, hips rocking up unconsciously. “I’ll remember, Daddy, promise.”

“Good. I think it’s about time we start.” He paused for a moment, sitting back as he looked over his boy. “You remember your safeword?”

He shook his head as Peter nodded. “I need you to tell me what it is, kid. So I know that you know.”

Another little huff, the teen squirming impatiently. “It’s ‘rhubarb’, Daddy. Please-”

Tony smiled. "Alright, baby, thank you." Reaching out, he caressed Peter's cheek before leaning down to press their lips together. He let his tongue swipe over the teen's bottom lip and he was instantly granted access.

Peter mewled when Tony’s tongue licked at his own, body going boneless when a hand also began to apply a gentle but firm grip on his neck. He could feel the metal of Tony’s wedding ring. The soft, plaintive sounds just kept coming while Tony explored his mouth and a punched out little gasp left him when he suddenly found himself under the pressure of the man’s bodyweight. Without his permission, his hips jerked forward, desperately seeking more friction than the snug press of the lace panties against his leaking cock. The differing textures of Tony’s shirt and pants sent a shiver down his spine, and while the pace of his rutting was slow, the amount of force behind it increased.

Breathing heavily, Tony pulled back for a minute and turned his head so that he could mouth wetly at the side of his husband’s neck. He sucked a bruise into the skin there, drinking up the high, whines that the action elicited from Peter. “That’s it, baby, you gonna use Daddy’s body to get off?” He let out a groan when Peter’s erection slid against his own where it lay trapped in his briefs and suit pants.

Nodding, the boy shifted as he tried to move his limbs to wrap around Tony’s neck and waist. He cried out softly when he couldn’t, pulling at his restraints. “Daddy,” he whined, voice thin. “I want- I need-”

“Shhhh,” Tony soothed, lips capturing Peter’s again before pulling away, a strand of spit connecting them. “I know what you need, Peter.” He licked filthily into the teen’s open mouth. His dick throbbed at the way Peter went boneless underneath him again, offering himself up and letting Tony explore his mouth in a way that was truly indecent.

Their bodies undulated against each other as they made out, and Tony could tell that the younger man was getting close by the way his muscles would clench every couple of seconds.

He ground down against the soft, pliant body on the mattress, groaning. “Fuck, baby,” he breathed, looking into Peter’s moony eyes as the boy rutted desperately against his abdomen. “You’re so perfect, Peter, so beautiful. Shit, c’mon kid, make yourself cum for Daddy. C’mon baby.”

“Ahhhhh,” Peter whined, squeezing his eyes shut. “Daddy, please, gonna- I’m gonna-,” the words were cut off by a choked gasp as he tensed, toes curling. Still trapped in the panties, and in between their bodies, his cock jumped in its confines, hot spurts of sticky cum pooling underneath the head and smearing with his movements.

Tony could feel a wet patch forming on his thigh and he moaned low in his throat, his own erection almost painfully hard. But this wasn’t about him, it was all for Peter. He’d get his turn eventually. “Good boy, Peter,” he whispered roughly, pressing kisses wherever he could reach, taking in the blissed out look on his boy’s face.

“Daddy,” he sighed, heart thumping wildly in his chest. Peter’s body continued shuttering through the aftershocks, hips twitching up weakly as Tony pulled away.

After one more kiss, Tony started sitting up again to look over the teen’s body. His mouth watered at the sight of the cum against the lace covered hipbone, and the corresponding stain on the dark fabric of his pants. He ran a hand lightly over his own cock, adjusting it. “How did that feel, baby? Happy now?”

“Mhm….” he mumbled, again going limp against the bed. He felt like he was melting, disappearing like wet spun sugar. Everything felt slow. “Jus’ what I wanted, so good Daddy….” but he couldn’t deny that he still wanted more. He wanted his Daddy’s hands on him, possessive and guiding. Although he already felt the sensitivity creeping in, making him think that maybe waiting for a little bit before going again would be a good idea.

“Uh huh. That’s good, honey. You were so good for me, Peter.” Tony’s fingers trailed up Peter’s thigh, watching the muscles flex and tense underneath his touch. “But I’m not done with you yet, kid.”

Peter made a confused noise in the back of his throat before he started whining as his Daddy’s fingers brushed over his slowly softening cock. He arched his back, pushing his ass down into the bed in a fruitless attempt to get away from the touch. “Daddy, too much.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. He didn’t move his hand away, since Peter didn’t safeword, but he did pause, not doing anything more. “Too much? Do you need to use your word?”

The teen slowly shook his head, breathing hard. He didn’t want Tony to stop. He was just sensitive and he knew that the feeling would only increase.

“Okay, baby. If you’re sure.” He hooked his fingers underneath the waistband of Peter’s panties, slowly starting to tug them down his thighs. He grinned at the sight of the teen’s flushed cock laying against his hip, skin slick with streaks of cum. “You look gorgeous, Peter. You know that?” He brushed over the half-hard length, chuckling at how the boy twitched. “I know, I’m sorry. But I’m just doing what you wanted.”

Peter figured that was right. He had wanted to be touched. He should have known that was going to come back to bite him in the ass. A soft whine left him as Tony’s fingers started massaging his cock back to hardness. Although it didn’t take much.

“There we go...I knew you could go again. With that incredible recovery period of yours,” he teased.

Suddenly his touch was gone and Peter squirmed, hips rocking again. But he stilled when he noticed what Tony was doing.

The older man started with a chaste kiss to his lips, trailing presses of his lips down the teen’s body slowly. He moved down the bed as he worked, settling between Peter’s thighs with his lips on his hip bone. Hardly an inch away from where Peter wanted him.

Peter’s cock twitched against his stomach, like it was trying to reach Tony’s mouth. “Daddy….”

“Uh uh,” Tony chided, blowing a gentle breath across the sub’s damp skin. “You stay still. I’m doing things at my pace, you need to be patient.”

Dropping his head back against the pillows, Peter let out a shaky breath. He had a feeling that it would be a long night.

#starker #peter parker #tony stark #tony x peter #tony stark x peter parker #B&B write #Peter’s EDITH!verse #SbPBP #nff #starker nff

23 notes · View notes

freyfall · 4 years

Note

Hey sorry to bother, but i don't thing I've really seen any sexism in the fandom? I might have just missed it, but would you be willing to elaborate on it a bit? You don't have to if you don't wanna

CHOKES

I’ll elaborate under a cut because a lot of the sexism I see is rooted in the ns/fw side of the fandom. I’ll be talking explicitly so don’t click if you’re not prepared for a conversation about sex and ectoplasmic genital shit. Also... it’s long.

God, where do I even start? This post covers a lot of the base issues with the fandom, though most of what OP said had to do with queerphobia. The issue with writers and magic genitalia in the fandom boils down to the fact that so often - so often - I click on a fic to read and heteronormativity slaps me in the face. One dominant (male-identifying) partner with male genitalia, one submissive (male-identifying) partner with female genitalia. And okay, I get it, some couples are like that. It’s not bad to write something like that as long as it doesn’t rely on sexism or queerphobia to explain away the choices. But then it’s... every fic. Every. Fic. I click on.

Actually, I’ll give you some numbers! I’m going to look at the UTMV kinktober fics I’m keeping up with and see what kind of ratios there are. I won’t name them out of politeness, but here we go. Out of 4 Kinktober 2020 series on A03 with, so far, 23 or 24 chapters each, here’s how the gender and sex of the characters play out:

In terms of biological sex, the majority were male/female* with two partners, making up almost half of the fics read (42 out of 94). Out of said fics, 35 had a dominant** male and submissive female dynamic, 4 had a dominant female and submissive male dynamic, and 3 were unclear or there was no such dynamic. Only one out of the 42 fics had the female character identify as a woman. (Furthermore, she was genderbent.)

The runner-up was the ‘other’ category, which encompassed the following: no genitals present, only one set of genitals present, odd genitalia (such as tentacles), or unspecified. This category made up 26 out of the 94 fics. Of the 26, 20 of them fell into the ‘one set of genitals’ category, with 14 male and 6 female. The male fics were split evenly between dominant and submissive males, and the females were all written as submissive.

None of the other categories were nearly as popular, with the next one down the line only having 9 fics out of the 94. This category was male/male with two partners. The next one, male/male/female with three partners, had 8. Of the 8 fics, all of them had dominant male and submissive female dynamics.

The female/female with two partners category only had 3. Only one of the three fics portrayed a lesbian relationship where both characters identified as women.

The other categories were as follows: m/m/m with three partners, m/m/m/f with four partners, m/m/m/m with four partners, m/m/f/f with four partners, m/m/m/m/f with five partners, and m/m/m/f/f with five partners. These categories only had 1 fic each. Each and every fic with a female partner had the female partners playing submissive roles.

It’s important to note that out of the entire roster of fics, there were 3 women. One of them was a genderbent character in a m/f fic, and the other two were in a lesbian f/f fic. Why the lack of women? Why constantly portray those with female genitals as men?

Going back to the post I linked at the very beginning, I do want to cover my bases - I understand that male characters with biologically female genitals and sex characteristics can be a hugely needed source of rep for transgender people, especially those who are transmasculine. As a transmasculine person myself, it’s important to me that male characters with female bodies exist. Having a casual environment where men can have whatever genitals they want is, in theory, rather progressive. However, three things:

Never in all my time in this fandom have I ever seen one of these characters stated explicitly as transgender. None of the fics in the study above did, either.

In the UTMV, when writing skeletons with magical genitals, having male or female genitalia is seen as a choice. It erases the need for transgender characters. It erases transgender narratives that deal with transition, discomfort, coming out, and dysphoria. If you can pick whatever kind of body you want, why would there be a need for being trans? There’s no easy way to determine a ‘male’ or ‘female’ skeleton, erasing the concept of gender assigned at birth and erasing the struggles that trans people may face.

None of the characters have bodies that might align more closely with transgender folks who medically transition. No top surgery scars, no bottom growth. No breast tissue growth on male bodies, nothing. Of course, why would that exist in the first place? Magic erases the need to portray bodies with quote-on-quote ‘imperfections.’ None of the bodies portrayed even step a toe out of the cisgender box - such as perhaps portraying female genitals with a flat chest or male genitals with breasts. None of that was found in the study, and I don’t recall fics like that outside of the study, either.

So clearly, most if not all authors are not attempting to portray any sort of transgender character when writing them this way - which begs the question, why write men with female bodies?

While I was taking these statistics, I had a conversation with my partner in which they said something that applies here:

“[Every AU character] being Sans is a problem on its own, but when you have the power to make whatever character a woman, how you approach that says a lot. What people do is that they give a male character female parts and it’s only for sexual purposes. So like, the entire existence of [the female body] in the UTMV serves only for sex and that’s just kind of not good.”

Keeping this quote in mind, the short answer to the question I posed above is this: sexism. In this fandom, the female body, femininity, and being a woman in and of itself is objectified, hyper-sexualized, and exoticized... in that order, respectively. I’m not just using these as buzzwords, I promise you.

The female body is objectified. The same as the quote above, female bodies aren’t seen as something that someone will just have in a non-sexual context. After reading 94 smutfics, their treatment of the female body tends to start looking the same. The female body is for sex. That’s it. Giving or showing a character with breasts, even clothed, is seen as the display of a sexual object, even though breasts are visible on (cis) women in everyday scenarios. In sexual scenarios, the female body is never portrayed realistically, either. Female arousal and preparing the female body for sex - compared to its counterpart, the male body - is wildly unrealistic. Yes, this is porn, and there’s bound to be realism issues, but in comparison, female sexuality is much more unrealistic.

Femininity is sexualized. Characters act feminine for sexual appeal... and only for sexual appeal. Because a character acts feminine, they’re more sexually appealing to their partner. Feminine clothing, such as dresses or skirts, are seen as sexual.

Being a woman, in and of itself, is exoticized. This isn’t even a staunchly NSFW issue. I’ve been asked if my male characters, explicitly stated to be bisexual, would have sex with a woman. My partner has received asks about ‘what would happen if (insert male character here) met a woman.’ Genderbends of male characters into female characters are seen as cringy, childish, or fanservicey by default. Women aren’t treated as a normal occurrence. When genderbends do happen and people like them, it’s often in a sexual way. “She’s so hot/sexy.” “Step on me, queen.”

It most likely doesn’t help that all of the popular AU characters in the fandom are men. It creates an environment where women are scarce and hardly represented, leading to unnatural assumptions about them.

I’m not sure how to close this off, so... TLDR; women are normal people. Stop exoticizing them. Stop objectifying the female body. Don’t use trans/queer characters as a scapegoat for your sexism.

Sincerely, a bigender lesbian who’s sick and tired of all this.

*‘Male’ and ‘female’ are used to refer to biological sex. When I talk about gender, I will say men and women.

**When I say dominant, I mean ‘in control’ of the sexual situation. This was determined by considering factors such as written personality, physical position, and how they behaved. Vice versa for submissive. I don’t intend to use these terms as an equivalent to what they mean in BDSM language, though several of the fics attempted to or did portray BDSM relationships. I also do not mean these terms to be equivalent to ‘top’ or ‘bottom’.

#utmv #sexism cw #important #fandom talk

77 notes · View notes

thejustmaiden · 4 years

Note

I’m honestly hoping with the current movement of #saveourchildren and the lgbtq community calling out pedos will give the sequel backlash if Rin is the mother. Also I hope none of those shippers are a part of the movement because than it’s just hypocrisy at it’s finest. I’m honored praying sunrise gets the backlash if they decide to do that, especially since it’s 2020, NORMAL and SANE people will be shocked. I’m pretty sure everyone’s sick of the “it’s normal in Japan.” People want change.

Hey, nonnie! I'm not sure if you're the same person who sent me the previous anon ask about what Jaken's VA sent during the livestream or not. I'm assuming that because I received them almost back-to-back, but maybe I wrong. Whatever it may be, happy to have you. 😊

It would be hypocritical in many ways, yes, but at the same time many Sessrin shippers say they would never condone acts like child grooming and the such in real life. I really believe them for the most part, too.

So where does that leave us? Well, what it all really comes down to is at what point do we start acknowledging the spaces both fiction and real life occupy and the (in)direct impact they're capable of having on each other.

In my opinion, Sessrin shippers refuse to accept their correlation- whether that be due to denial, lack of awareness, or a bit of both. Regardless, it's safe to say they simply don't take how linked these two are as seriously as antis do.

As has become a habit of mine in recent blogs/asks lol, I'd like to refer you to a great write-up by boycottyashahime. Read their thoughts on this very subject here. They always put it better than me anyway. Here's a preview excerpt:

"Predators have and continue to use fictional relationships to convince their victims that the abuse they experience is perfectly fine. I think that it would behoove the SessRin community to make sure that those in their midst who are young and vulnerable know the warning signs, understand when an older person may be trying to take advantage of them, and encourage drawing a clear line between the fictional ship and real relationships."

Sessrin shippers would respond to this by saying that shipping a fictional pairing- yes, even if it has harmful implications- isn't actually bad since it's not real and therefore can't be viewed in a negative light. A common misconception of theirs is that antis can't separate real life from fiction. Let me break down why these two reasonings lack support and are basically justifications:

1) Inuyasha is aimed at a young audience, and at no point in this series should a teenager watching be subjected to controversial dynamics closely reminiscent of pedophilia or child grooming. Period.

2) Most of us who have a problem with it CAN in fact differentiate between real life and fiction so please stop missing the point, be it intentionally or not.

The main issue we have is why are we exposing young minds to a heavy topic they are not mature enough to handle yet. Whether you agree or not, it's common knowledge that Sessrin raises a lot of red flags. Antis aren't overreacting because of dumb shipping wars or anything trivial like that. What we're reacting to is the typical Sessrin shipper's response to this pairing. Ship it if you want, but please don't tell us how we should frame our opinions according to your "historically accurate" portrayal, especially if it morphs the truth into something unrecognizable in order to fit your narrative.

Here's an example to give you a better idea of what I mean:

Let's say my favorite animal is the koala bear and yours is the kangaroo. Both are marsupials, right? Both lovable, but one is friendly and the other can be quite dangerous. Now imagine you trying to suggest a kangaroo is as friendly as a koala- so essentially something it's not. Shouldn't I correct you? Sure, you can love the kangaroo (Sessrin in this case) all you want, but shouldn't we stick to the facts presented to us? Accurate identification is the key to appropriate representation! (Say it with me! I like alliteration and rhyming, what can I say? lol) This way there isn't any confusion and we can help prevent our young ones from misinterpreting potentially threatening situations. By attempting to pass the kangaroo off in a category among docile species like the koala (aka healthy ships), you risk putting others in harm's way. Who's to say a child won't take your word for it and just run up to a kangaroo someday and get gravely injured (aka they've now exposed themselves to a real life predator). All this could've been avoided from the get-go if a certain group of people didn't refuse to admit that the kangaroo is indeed dangerous no matter how much they wish it wasn't. Trying to convince us that a kangaroo can be like a koala or something it's not is never going to happen. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that either so there's no need to get defensive. The kangaroo can still survive and thrive and so can your ship, but just in a different environment/genre.

(Did that analogy work? xD)

And nobody as far as I've witnessed (with the exception of maybe one or two occasions) has straight-up called Sessrin shippers pedophiles. Pedo apologists, perhaps, but those two aren't one in the same. Petty and ugly name-calling on the other hand? Well, that's taking place on both sides so you can't really use that against antis.

People do want change! Not only am I tired of Sessrin fans speaking on behalf of an entire country regarding the popularity of a ship despite a strong presence of antis there, nonnie, I'm sick of those same fans telling us we don't have a right to be critical of the content we consume. "If you don't like it, then stop watching."

Since when did it become wrong to demand we do better and improve in areas? It's only normal we care and expect our entertainment to be aligned with our real life morals, because how else do you think fans relate to characters? Of course fiction can push the boundaries as is its nature, but like with everything else in life there are limits. After all, the stories we make up are but reflections of the human experience and we're taught that there are some lines you must never cross.

I'd like to end this off by saying that I hope you're right, nonnie, and that Sunrise and everyone else involved in this sequel receive all the backlash they deserve if they decide to go through with Sessrin. It's possible that movements like Save Our Children can help people who are struggling to understand why making this ship canon is problematic. On top of that, it can help them re-evaluate their values and put them in better perspective in regard to this pairing's close connection to serious acts of abuse like child grooming.

Maybe this whole time we've just been underestimating Sunrise and Rumiko's ability for profound and consistent storytelling. *knocks on wood* All along maybe we had nothing to worry about, who knows? Don't break my heart, readers, and just let me be the half-glass full kinda gal I've always been. It ain't over till it's over. 🤗

Edit: I recently discovered that a right-wing conspiracy pro-Trump group by the name of QAnon is trying to hijack the Save Our Children movement as their own. As much as I support anything that brings more light to children's issues, I do not support Trump, this terrorist organization, and their conspiracy theories.

#inuyasha #hanyo no yashahime #anti sessrin #save our children #anonymous asks #answered ask

18 notes · View notes

magaprima · 4 years

Text

Part 2 Episode 6 Analysis (3/?)

So when Adam 2.0 and Lilith are walking through the woods, it’s no freaking coincidence that the settling looks so idyllic, so lush and green, one could say it looks like Eden. She is essentially in a garden, a wild place (something that is considered home/sacred to Lilith in her mythology. If you want her to feel welcome where you live, make sure to keep at least a part of your garden wild), the sort of place not only was she created in, but first lived in, her first official home, and she’s walking with a man called Adam. We’re seeing here how Eden should have been, with Adam considering her equal, treating her with respect, walking side-by-side, happy, content and peaceful. It’s the biggest What-Could-Have-Been.

Now, two interesting extra points about our first shot of this scene; the first is that Lilith has her arm linked through Adam’s. Not only does this mean they are strolling side by side as equals and also proves it’s a nice romantic stroll, but it also shows Lilith’s trust in him. Her arm is linked through his not the other way around, Adam is leading her, she is letting him lead her. She feels enough faith and trust and love for him to feel comfortable for what would be a small allowance for most people, but is a big thing for Lilith.

The second thing I want to point out is that she is wearing trousers. This is the first and only time we ever see Lilith wearing trousers. I have made a longer, more detailed post about this in the past, so I won’t go too deeply into it again, but I just want to point out how significant this is. Lilith, who always uses her attractiveness and her sexuality to manipulate situations to her best advantage, is wearing trousers. And though she is very stylish, she’s actually entirely covered, she’s dressed for fashion not for manipulation. Even her hands are covered, which they never are, her red nails are always visible, but she has gloves on, she’s wearing a belt, a jacket that, while a great cut, is not about showing off ‘assets’. And women’s trousers were, originally, seen as a symbol of freedom and independence. Desexualising women’s style and allowing them to do things men do, to no longer be held back by cumbersome dresses. Lilith, here is not only feeling free and independent, but also feeling no need to manipulate anything, she’s not working an angle, she’s not on edge or on guard, she is totally relaxed and natural and being herself. And herself likes the freedom of a pair of trousers.

It does, on closer inspection, appear to be a bodysuit, but the details of the upper are covered by the jacket, as, like I said, she’s dressed for fashionable comfort, rather than sexual-men-are-idiots manipulation. That’s such a huge deal.

“Mm, Adam. It’s so good to be away from that dreary little town”

Okay, first off, the way she says ‘mm Adam’ is so freaking content. The woman is STROLLING, this woman who is tense all the time, has to work all the time, manipulate all the time, be on the defence all the time, is strolling and smiling and going ‘Mm, Adam’. That says a lot which my little ole emotions can’t handle. And then there’s her saying how good it is to be away from Greendale. Because everything in Greendale reminds her of what she has to do, what she’s there fore. Everything in Greendale is to do with Lucifer and Sabrina, but out here, in the woods, out of the two, with Adam, it’s all about her, no one else. And the fact Adam has not just taken her for a day out, but out of the town, is all foreshadowing of his offer to take her much further, to take her far away from everything that is making her unhappy, even if she won’t openly admit it yet.

Also when she told Sabrina she was having a personal day, she was wearing a purple dress. Did Lilith go to work, come home and change, then go out. Or did that one personal day lead to several personal days, and this is just like the third day in a row or something? And that’s why Stolas is stalking her and reporting back?

“You’ve always been devoted to Greendale, Mary” “Have I? Well, perhaps I’ve grown beyond it”

Okay, from Adam we get a hint at the type of person Mary was, the sort of interests she had, and the fact she’s obviously made it clear to Adam, she won’t leave the town. He then takes Lilith’s answer to mean she’s ready to adventure further, but we know this isn’t Mary and so her answer means so much more. Saying ‘Perhaps I’ve grown beyond it’, we know she’s talking about more than just the town, she’s talking about everything it represents and is linked to. Her dynamic/relationship/romance with Adam is waking Lilith up to some things, things she wasn’t happy with but was in survival-denial over, and now, with these escapes and personal days, she’s beginning to realise that. She’s grown beyond Greendale, Sabrina, Lucifer’s orders, the manipulations, the machinations for the throne. Lilith is ready for something different. She’s ready to explore things beyond Hell and beyond the Dark Lord, she’s finding herself growing tired of it all.

The fact they come to stop at a bridge as she says this is a big deal. A bridge between two points, Do we cross the bridge? Once we cross the bridge we can’t turn back. The point of no return, the boundary between two realms. Lilith is metaphorically and literally on the cusp between two worlds. Much like Sabrina, at the beginning of Part 1, where she’s asked to choose between two worlds, Lilith is going to be asked to make a very similar choice too (the only difference, and significant one, is Lilith does choose to leave. She doesn’t choose both as Sabrina demanded. When given a choice of power or freedom, Lilith chooses freedom and that is so freaking significant to understanding her character).

Adam is so apprehensive when making his offer/suggestion to go to Tibet. He’s so expecting to be turned down. Lilith, on the other hand, thinks he’s joking. So much so, she bursts out laughing. Lilith finds the idea of being asked to join someone on a trip, as equals, asked to join them because they love her and her company rather than for any ulterior motive, that she actually laughs. And then when she sees his sincere, her expression goes from ‘oh. oops. Sorry. Wait, what?’

Even when she realises he’s genuine, her primary emotion is confusion. She just cannot compute this idea of him asking her. She’s not a doctor, she’s not a physician, she’s not anything that would be of any actual use in this medical charity, which means the only reason Adam is asking her is because he wants to be with her. And Lilith hasn’t had that in thousands of years. It’s strange to her.

And then when he starts talking about the post she looks away like ‘yeah, yeah, here we go’. She seems to utterly expect him to say he’s going regardless, that he’s leaving for Tibet even if she doesn’t agree to go. She expects abandonment and being put in second place, because that’s what she always experiences, that’s how she’s always treated. And she doesn’t even look resentful at the idea, she just looks resigned and unsurprised. And then he makes that declaration:

“But I wouldn’t consider taking it, if you don’t come with me”

And that stops her. This person, this man, this mortal man, is openly declaring that she’s a deciding factor. That he won’t leave Greendale unless she leaves with him. She’s being told she’s more important than something, that she’s the most important, and I don’t think she’s ever had that. So she tries to dismiss it, like ‘Tibet? Adam, don’t be so absurd’. She’s dismissing it because it’s emotions she hasn’t experience before, but also part of her still can’t envision a world where she leaves, a life where she isn’t working to be Queen of Hell, an ordinary mortal life, even if only for the short time that Adam would live (consider she essentially lives forever).

“Mary. I wanna show you the world”

And that’s the phrase that gets her. That’s the moment she’s utterly caught by his offer, speechless at his sincerity. She is around 6000 years old, there’s nothing of the world she hasn’t seen really, and yet here’s a 50-odd-year-old man offering to show the world himself. And perhaps, through his eyes, through this relationship of respect and affection and love, she would be shown the world for the first, a different world. This is, I feel, the declaration she wanted from the original Adam when she was in the Garden. To want to share the world with her, to experience everything side by side...and no matter how many millennia it’s been, that desire is still in Lilith’s core, and here it is, offered to her, by the one person who has shown her respect and love and affection in thousands of years.

And no matter the consequences, no matter how ridiculous an idea she might feel it is, no matter how much she knows it would mean giving up the throne, how much she knows Adam will age and she won’t.....she can’t resist it. She agrees to consider it. And she says it so sincerely, looking at him so intently. And you know what? He doesn’t push, he doesn’t say ‘what’s to consider?’ he doesn’t ask when she will have an answer, the fact she says she’ll consider it is more than enough, and he smiles, that’s the end of the conversation. Adam never pushes her and that’s very important for Lilith, I feel, considering her other dynamics and the way people tend to treat her.

When she goes to throw the pebble and Adam tells her to make a wish, she freaking does it. Lilith, the First Woman, the First Witch, Mother of Demons, Dawn of Doom....makes a wish on a pebble like a freaking love-sick teenager. And she actually thinks about the wish, you can see her concentrating as she genuinely picks what to wish for, and the way Adam watches her as she does, even though she doesn’t see him watching him is so affectionate and romantic. She throws it so unceremoniously though, which makes me laugh. And it makes Adam laugh too. Because it’s meant to be a gentle throw and Lilith just hurls it through the air.

And then we see Bitch Snitch Stolas watching and flying off which makes us feel all kind of bad, even before we knew what was going to happen.

Now as Adam was watching Lilith without her seeing, now Lilith looks at Adam without him seeing. This is a key thing of being in love. You do it a lot. Just watch the other person when they don’t know you’re watching them, you just study them, gently looking at them, quietly admiring and appreciating them. And the fact they both do it to each other, show how much in love they both are.

And then when he looks at her and she laughs with him, she freaking leans into him, leans against him as he hugs her, they’re standing there hugging each other and laughing. Lovesick kids, man.

#episode stuff

25 notes · View notes

themurphyzone · 5 years

Text

Meta: Heinz Doofenshmirtz and Romance

Okay so I’ve been marathoning PnF (I got sick over the weekend so PnF is my comfort show) and I’ve noticed that many of Heinz’s schemes revolve around romance in some way so I thought it would be interesting to discuss this aspect of his schemes.

Let’s get started!

Romance

Heinz has abysmal luck when it comes to romance. Heinz’s upbringing left him with many emotional scars that make it difficult for him to interact with people, especially in the romance department. So to kick this off, I thought I’d start by looking at Heinz’s views on romance, which can be summed up well in the episodes Chez Platypus and What Do It Do?.

“I'm so tired of all these happy couples around me, romantic and laughing, mocking me with their happiness. Well, not anymore. My De Love-inator satellite will eliminate the feeling of love in the entire Tri-State Area. All I have to do is press this button. It would be so easy to press it right now. It would be so simple, but, you know, I've got a date tonight, and I like to stay optimistic. But if we don't hit it off, I'm definitely gonna ruin it for everyone else.”

Honestly, romance is such a complicated thing. Practically all of media revolves around romance (regardless of how well or poorly written it is, the point is that it’s nigh unavoidable no matter the type of media you consume). And if you’re dating luck is as poor as Heinz Doofenshmirtz’s, it’s pretty understandable as to why he’d be bitter and jealous about it.

He sees couples doing couple-y things, like going to a nice restaurant or going to concerts together, and desperately wants that to fill a void in his life. But it never works out, leading him to blame romance as a whole.

We’re gonna come back to Chez Platypus later.

“I wonder what would make someone want to build something to destroy romance in the first place.” -Isabella, What Do it Do?

In What Do it Do, unpleasant reminders of a teenage Heinz’s disastrous drive-in date with Linda cause him to build a robot to identify and destroy romantic elements from situations where romance is bound to happen.

Ironically, the anti-romance bot Phineas and Ferb reverse-engineered falls in love with the original anti-romance bot Heinz built, and they wind up flying off into the sunset together.

While romance can be infuriating and frustrating and confusing, the fact is that love (whether romantic, platonic, or familial) is here to stay, and as Newton’s First Law states, energy cannot be created or destroyed, only converted into different forms.

Heinz’s methods of casting blame are interesting, to say the least. Any parent-related trauma is taken out on Roger or an associated item such as lawn gnomes, rather than his own biological parents even if it would be more justified to go after them instead. Abstract concepts such as romance and handsomeness are targeted for causing Heinz’s insecurities to rise up. Heinz is inclined to blame himself if something occurs that was beyond his control, but he needs prodding to take accountability for things that actually were his fault.

Heinz’s trauma doesn’t translate well into a romantic life. For one thing, the romantic partner needs to understand Heinz as a whole person and not just base their attraction off looks or interests, which is likely why Heinz’s main method of dating post-divorce doesn’t work out.

The Dating Game

Online dating profiles are what Heinz typically uses to get dates (ex: Get that Bigfoot Out of My Face, Chez Platypus, Mindshare). But this method can only tell you so much about a person.

You would put things like ‘I love dogs’ or a sexual preference on a dating profile. Not ‘I hate my brother because he got all of our mother’s love and attention’ or ‘I was disowned and had to live with ocelots for a while’.

Online dating profiles are meant to make you an appealing prospective date, and putting any emotionally scarring backstory-related stuff would definitely turn away the majority of interested parties. If Heinz ever did put backstory stuff on his dating profile, this would probably wind up attracting people who view Heinz as a project to be molded to their liking, instead of accepting him wholeheartedly with personality flaws and all.

Going back to Chez Platypus, while there was a rather nice song about Heinz and his unnamed date’s budding attraction, it was probably for the best that the date was zapped by Heinz’s anti-love inator and left him.

For one thing, Heinz’s date really just lists superficial qualities about what she likes or doesn’t like about Heinz. She prefers tall, blond men, but she also likes windswept looks, lab coats, and evil.

Even if this relationship did make it past the first date, I can’t see Heinz being ultimately happy with her in the long run. For one thing, liking evil is their common ground. However, Heinz isn’t evil at all. He just puts on a huge show about it. The date might not like that, or she could possibly enable Heinz’s worst habits.

What Heinz needs is someone to challenge him, someone who’ll listen, someone to comfort and help him, someone to trust and love and accept him for who he is.

Even if Heinz was fully aware that the above qualities are truly what he’s seeking, those needs aren’t exactly something you can put on an online dating profile, nor are they something that’ll occur on a first date.

“She left me for that trash-talking 35-ton pile of blubber. And broke my fragile, 10-ounce utterly-too-human heart.”

The Elizabeth-leaving-Heinz-for-a-whale backstory shows that Heinz tends to go to extreme lengths for people he’s trying to impress, though for some reason they never appreciate what he’s trying to do for them. Seriously, if a guy made me a translator so I could understand what my favorite animals were saying, I would be over the moon. The animals could be insulting me but I wouldn’t care because the guy a lot of thought into the gift.

Heinz trusts too easily, especially if he’s trying to impress someone. That’s why it’s so easy to hurt him. They could be threatening to kill him with a missile to the face and he would still put 100% of his trust in them.

Charlene Doofenshmirtz

Despite his many, many dating failures, he did manage to woo Charlene, marry, and have Vanessa. Though it ended in divorce, Charlene is the only woman Heinz has dated who actually cares for Heinz. She encourages Vanessa to have a relationship with Heinz, and cares enough to help support him financially, long after their split.

Charlene says the reason for their divorce was because they wanted different things. While she was unable to give Heinz the deep emotional support he desperately needed, she does care in her own way. And that’s fine.

Which brings us to Heinz’s most successful relationship.

Perry the Platypus

Nemesis bonds are just as sacred and honored as a marriage. They both require time, effort, communication, understanding, disagreements, agreements, and love.

Perry ultimately provides everything Heinz needs, just as Heinz provides the things Perry can’t receive in his family and line of work. Perry and Heinz aren’t perfect. They hit snags here and there, especially in regards to communication.

Miscommunication and trust are the main obstacles Perry and Heinz face. In It’s About Time, Perry was under the impression that he and Heinz were an exclusive nemesis pair, while Heinz thought Perry wouldn’t mind if he fought other agents.

Given Heinz’s history, he’s not accustomed to someone wanting to stick around in the long term for him, especially in an exclusive relationship. His previous longest lasting relationship ended in divorce, so he probably figured it was a matter of time before Perry left, which pretty much leads into abandonment issues.

But once they get past all that and work out the kinks in their relationship?

They support and love each other.

Most of Heinz’s dates occur in Season 1 and early Season 2, where Heinz and Perry were going from nemeses to frenemies, Dating becomes much less important as Heinz begins to consider Perry a friend, family, rock, and angel rolled up into one little ball of unstoppable dynamic fury.

Conclusion

Heinz’s relationship with romance is a complicated one. Sure, he may have suffered heartbreak after heartbreak, but his time with Charlene gave him a daughter to treasure, and Perry is the emotional support and loving companion he wanted all along.

#heinz doofenshmirtz #phineas and ferb #pnf meta #perry the platypus #perryshmirtz

194 notes · View notes

nymphl · 4 years

Text

Lie to Me - Hux x Reader x Ch. 16: Guilty & Innocent

A/N: Hello there xD As promised, here it goes chapter 16 of Lie to Me. I’m working on chapter 25, but it’s getting quite difficult right now because whenever I get some time to write, my mom starts talking about just... about everything. And I feel extremely bad to tell her to stop even when she talks for hours nonstop and it gets on my nerves? haha So bear with me just a little more. This quarantine is being harder on her than on me.

Story Summary: Falling for the enemy… That’s probably the stupidest thing you’ve ever done. Letting him live… for he should be dead. And you should’ve been the one to kill him. You had him, right there… and you let it escape through yours fingers. He lived. And now only the time could tell if you made the right decision — more likely wrong — by saving the amnesiac General of the First Order and telling him he was your husband. [Hux x Reader - Hux x You]

Warnings for the entire story: Will contain at times; graphic violence, sex, drugs and manipulation, coarse language and OOCness.

AO3 Tags: from enemies to lovers; eventual romance; memory loss; fake marriage; fake marriage becomes real marriage; rebellion; married couple; canon divergence; slow burn romance; politics; rebel alliance; resistance; first order; OOCness; eventual smut; eventual sex; power play; power dynamics; syndicate; lies; you lie; Hux lies; Hux backstory; manipulation; political alliances; political betrayals; secret organizations; tros fix it; anti tros; nobody likes general pryde.

Wordcount: 3420

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

IT HAD BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE ARMITAGE HUX LAST SAW THAT ARMOR. The only indication he had his words had not gone to waste were the slight and occasional nods he could see through the compromised transmission.

The poor broadcast made it difficult for him to understand the already muffled words because of the gigantic helmet. Yet, he insisted. There was something he needed to know, and it could not be delayed any longer.

Depending on the answers he got, he would have to change his plans drastically. The future — his future, her future and the First Order’s as well and why not the whole galaxy? — depended on what Captain Phasma would say. She was, in no way, a reliable source — he doubted anyone in the First Order could be considered as such —, but the Captain of the Stormtroopers was no Politian.

As a militarist, she was good at following orders, not defying them, and yet…

…they had history together.

And if there was someone he came closer to ever trust, he could say it was the chromium-armored stormtrooper. In truth, she said very little, but more than enough for someone such as himself. Out of the triumvirate — one out of many in the First Order —, Armitage Hux could say he was the best strategist — not blessed with either the Force or physical strength, the slim and awkwardly tall boy had to work on his forte: his brain.

In any case, the possibility of another betrayal — something he quite did not expect the first time around — would not come off as a surprise at this point. He was counting on it. In fact, he planned the probable outcome for each situation. No one could say the General was a man who enjoyed the unexpected — that was why he never had time for people nor relationships; feelings were unpredictable —, and while he adapted quite easily, his distaste for such was immeasurable.

The unforeseen made him feel powerless and everything that did not add for his bright future as Supreme Leader — Emperor, no one could say he dreamed little — was disposable. A controller. Armitage Hux was a control freak and everything — people and feelings included — that could not be controllable was better left behind. Thankfully, Captain Phasma fell in the first category.

“There’s word out there that you betrayed the Order.”

He narrowed his eyes — something she would not be able to see given the transmission.

“Careful, Phasma.”

His strategy was quite simple, really. After his reveal, Captain Phasma would either keep his secret or she would tell the Supreme Leader — or even Ren himself. Or they would read right through her — he could only hope she learned by now how to conceal her thoughts.

Nevertheless, he was ready for any outcome. If the latter happened, his plans would only be hastened a bit.

“The Resistance attacked us in Rioza. They stole the shipment in its entirety. Some believe you feed them information.”

He thought that a smirk would have looked too suspicious. And yet he smirked. The slight tilt of his lips went unnoticed by the Captain.

Instead of giving her an answer — of soothing her fears and insecurities —, he chose silence. And she knew better than to expect a response for such a stupid statement.

“So… You’re coming back? You’ll prove them wrong.”

It sounded like a question — and it was a question; Captain Phasma lacked the intricacies of a more modulated speech —, but it was also a half-assertion. Once he was alive, it was expected of him to come back. The First Order was his life — after all, he had been molded for the position and role he fit in right now; the fact he was at the sore end of the bargain, with less than he deserved was a mere casualty —; he had pledged his life to it.

Not satisfied in taking his life — or almost taking, it would be a surprise when they saw he was in fact very much alive —, those who plotted against him managed to destroy his reputation in the Order.

He almost snorted.

The irony was too good to miss. The poster-boy, the golden General — a Grand-Marshall if they would so give what he deserved and worked so hard for —, was no more than a traitor.

Shaking such thoughts away, he concentrated in her question.

I make no idle promises.

The words were on his tongue, dying to be unleashed. He knew better. Even though he said it once, in a vastly different context, true, the meaning applied for the situation at hand. Suffice to say that Armitage Hux was a man whose distaste for the unpredictable rivaled his aversion to small talk and stating the obvious. If Phasma learned to battle with her physical strength, the slim, tall, awkwardly ginger Arkanisian boy was forced to quickly understand the power of the words.

Instead, he nodded.

Guilt…

You felt guilty before, but it could not compare to how you felt now. It was destroying you to know he had left and was yet to come back. When he said do not wait for me, you thought he meant for the night, not for whole four days.

A monster…

You felt like a monster for not giving him an answer.

But what else could you say? What else could you do? You were caught in your lies once, it was not like you could say you trusted him when you were not sure you did. You were cornered. Afraid and feeling guilty.

You had not realized it before, but you regretted saving him — you thought that was not something that would go away. He was the enemy. He and his precious First Order had invaded your planet — your home. It is true they betrayed him and tried to have him killed — and only the Maker could know why. You wondered if the General knew the truth himself — not the twisted lie you told him.

Besides, he said himself he probably knew about the new virus wreaking havoc in Dantooine, causing the death of so many aliens right now.

He could have lied. He could have said he had nothing to do with it, but he decided to be honest, and so did you.

You just did not expect him to leave for good.

It had been four days since he left. Obviously, you paid no heed to his warning. You had to go back. You had to work. Your coworkers — the few of them who did not stop working — were counting on you; lives depended on you. You had to go back to the Hospital. Your own life and safety meant very little face to the gravity of the situation.

The possibility of getting infected by the disease was no longer a threat — it was confirmed it was spread through the water and only alien species were vulnerable to it. Unlike the Krytos Virus, this one — the alien flu as your coworkers called it — could not be reversed by using bacta in the treatment. And if the most powerful healing substance could not kill it, you doubted anything else would. You had discovered — out of sheer luck or utter despair, you were no longer sure — that a small substance, not found in abundance in Dantooine and already out stock, seemed to alleviate the symptoms and delay the impending death.

Yet, even if the risk of getting sick was nil, at least one healer had been eaten by the crazed aliens quarantined. You would be lying if you said the possibility of being eaten alive did not scare you. However — and you could not help the comparison —, Aquilla would never let it hinder him. You could only hope the General understood it. Saving people was in your DNA, you could not help it.

At least, that was what you prepared yourself for when you returned to the Cave — your own house had been invaded by homeless, sick aliens; something you would not and could not complain about, they needed it more than you ever did —, only to find it empty. D-Five was making dinner for you only. The always so very efficient and proactive protocol droid told you he would not come back that day, but he was ready to be your company and talk about whatever topic you saw fit. The talk did not take place in the next day either, for you were welcomed with the same words. On the third day you gave up on the talk. You would not return to find the Cave empty.

Today, you felt very inclined to stay at the Hospital again.

A tired sigh left you as you entered the refresher. It was a very hot day in Dantooine and even though you longed to get home — if you could call the cold and dark Cave as such —, and get some rest, you knew you had to stay awake to take care of the children in your care.

You splashed cool water in your face, trying to wash away the sleepiness that began to take over you. The mirror placed on the wall showed you a very different face from not even a week ago. You had dark circles under your eyes and your skin lacked the luster of a healthy person. It did not help you could barely eat for the past few days — worry always compromised your appetite greatly.

Placing your hands over your face, you took a moment to breathe deeply and keep your thoughts at bay. A part of you wondered if he died — it was quickly dismissed; he was too smart to die that easily and you thought you would know, you knew when Aquilla died, it was not something rational, more like empirical, you just knew —, and part cogitated the possibility of him going back to the First Order.

I am loyal only to myself.

…and to you.

Is he though?

You shook your head. He would not go back to them. They betrayed him. They conspired to have him killed — or so he said, and could you trust him? Senator Organa was still to get back to you…

…And he said himself you should not wait for him.

It was impossible not to wonder if he was back to the First Order. He was a General and someone of his position — in control of such immensurable power — would hardly let go.

Your thoughts were interrupted with the buzz of your comm-relay. You took it with you as soon as you left home in the first day, too worried to stay parted from it — you had to know what happened to General Organa, you needed to. However, you were afraid of sending a message and it falling on the wrong hands — only the Maker could know how many lives such a message could affect.

Not giving it much thought, you opened the comm-relay only to be greeted by the tired and old face of the woman who invaded your mind more than you would like for the past few days.

“Were the Coordinates right? Did everything go—

You stopped yourself, biting the inside of your cheeks to the point you felt the coppery taste in your tongue. You closed your eyes — well, it was too late to say anything else now.

Kriffs.

If she did not know before that you did not trust your contact, she knew now. In her place — even if everything went smoothly, you would not trust this deserter of the First Order. It was clear that unlike Finn — or FN-2187 and what a dehumanizing way of calling someone —, your contact was not reliable.

I trust him with my life.

As if.

If she noticed your internal conflict, she chose not to comment on it, “Tell your contact we are grateful for all the information he has provided.”

You were not sure if she noticed it either, but you straightened your back. It felt as if a heavy weight was lifted off your shoulders. It felt as if you could finally breathe again. And you took a deep intake of breath. Your lungs burned with the amount of air you inhaled. And yet, you would not trade this sensation for anything else.

With the relief, came the regret.

You were once again guilt-ridden.

You should have trusted him.

You should have believed him.

You should have…

…let go of your apprehensiveness and listened to him. Listened to your heart that wanted so badly to accept his words and not to your mind, that wanted to paint him as the villain of your story.

He was… innocent all long and you were just… Kriffs. A monster for judging him so harshly.

“…not only right, but useful as well.”

Shaking your thoughts away, you decided to actually look at her and pay attention to what she said.

“What took you so long?” you asked, not really sure you overstepped your boundaries. The nature of your relationship was not clear as of yet. However, you had to know. If the cause of her delay was not related to an imaginary — you were such a fool — betrayal on Hux’s part, you needed to know the reason.

General Organa took a moment to answer, as if testing her words. As if testing… you. It was clear she was surprised at your disarray, but once again she chose not to comment on it. If she was preserving your privacy or if she did not trust you to such extent, you did not know.

“A new disease spread in the outer-rim territories kept the Resistance busy.”

Your eyes widened.

“The Alien Flu…” It left your lips in a meek whisper. You knew it was bad, but you had no idea it was spread in planets other than Dantooine. If eradicating a disease in a single planet was almost impossible, you could not say what you expected of part of the galaxy. “Kriffs!”

There was moment of silence.

Senator Organa was most like analyzing your reaction. And you could not say you judged her. In her place, you would do the same — if Aquilla had not spoken about this, you could say the General taught you with his posture, but you knew that silence spoke volumes about a person or a situation.

“Perhaps your contact knows something about the disease and its cure.”

It was your time to keep silent, however brief it was. Soon, the words came to life in your mouth, “No. He doesn’t.”

Her expression was somewhat blank. You had no idea if it meant she believed you or if she thought everything you said was utter bullshit. General Organa did not strike you as someone who trusted others — even if they helped her once — that easily. On your part, you were surprised for defending him so vehemently.

He could be innocent.

He is innocent.

Even if the concept of innocence did not apply to those in an organization that profited by waging War in the galaxy — by those who believed in a project of a fallen Empire, the very embodiment of tyranny and villainy.

Kriffs.

You did not know what to believe anymore. The fact that he simply vanished did not help the tiniest bit.

“I thought as much.” She brought a bottle of water to her lips. It concealed most of her face. “Only someone of the highest ranks would know about that.”

You bit your bottom lip.

She knew.

A shiver ran down your spine.

“Listen.” You swallowed. “I have to go.”

As soon as you ended the transmission and shut down your comm-relay, you left the Hospital. This time you did not care about your clothes or your own sanity — which you knew was lacking right now.

The fact that you did not sleep coupled with the discovery of his… — you had no idea what to call it, honesty, perhaps? — coupled with the truthfulness of his words made your heart beat faster and not only because you were running towards the Cave.

You had to get to him. You had to talk to him. You had to… see him. You were not sure you could trust your words right now. Seeing his face would suffice. However, more than the imperious need to see him, you needed to know.

By now, he already knew if he had a hand in what was taking place in Dantooine and other territories in the outer rim.

Only someone of the highest ranks would know about that.

If he still had most of his accesses to the First Order database, then he knew why they did it — and it was getting increasingly difficult not to understand their reasons; aliens ate humans and humans hated aliens. Only a racist organization, product of that dictatorship called Empire, could unleash such a hateful disease upon the distant and forgotten planets — and how to possibly end it.

Because there must be an antidote.

There has to be.

If you were to find him, D-Five would give you his coordinates. The protocol droid would know where he was. You just had to make him talk.

You ran as fast as your tired limbs would carry you. As fast as your own heartrate would allow you to. Part of you was grateful for his harsh training, without it, you doubted you would be able to stand on your legs right now. Getting almost no sleep for the last few days helped very little.

It was with some relief — great relief, actually — that as your feet brought you to a stop in front of the Cave, and you spotted not only the General, but his partner — was she really a partner or they were only analyzing each other and waiting for the best moment to end not only their partnership but the other’s life? — as well. Behind them, there was a Personal Petite Yacht you have not seen in years.

“You look like shit, hon.”

Pursing your lips into a thin line, you breathed deeply through your nose. You almost — you knew the General would scowl if you did that — placed your hands on your knees to support yourself. Even if it was a short distance between the Hospital and the Cave, you felt like you had run a marathon.

“Aurra.”

The General straightened his shoulders and shut off his electronic cigarette. You shifted your attention to him. You were not the only one who looked absolutely terrible. If you slept little, the General got close to no sleep whatsoever.

His cheekbones seemed even sharper now. Besides not resting properly, you could say he was not eating as well.

If the situation was any different, you could say you were worried about him. Right now, all you could feel was a crushing guilty and extreme relief — he was alive, and he had not gone back to the First Order. And it sufficed.

He had no time to say anything — and you doubted he would —, for she hit her walking stick on the rocky ground, attracting your attention.

“You arrived just in time, dear.”

In time for what?

“Go ahead.” She pointed at the ship behind her. “You two shall leave for Canto Bight.”

The General outstretched his hand for you to take. Even if you hesitated — to depart for Cantonica right now made no sense whatsoever, not with the medical crisis in the outer rim territories —, you placed your fingers upon his. He immediately pulled you into his embrace.

You bit your bottom lip — not risking a glance at Aurra; you had no idea if she still believed you were his weakness and honestly you did not want to let her know there were problems in paradise — and moved one of your hands over his shoulder.

“Do you trust me?” he asked. His voice was no more than a whisper in your ear.

Do I?

Part of you wanted to say you did. If you learned something today, it was that he was far from the lying monster you believed him to be — and you had lied to him as well! You were sure of one thing only — if you wanted to survive, it you wanted to find the cure for that damned disease, you had to trust him.

“Do I have any other choice?”

You expected silence. Instead, you felt the tip of his nose running over the sensible skin of your neck as he breathed in your scent.

“No.”

A/N - See you on Friday. Guys, I’m also posting Lie to Me now on Wattpad. I update every Wednesday xD

#hux x reader #hux x you #lie to me #ltm #armitage hux #general hux #hux #hux fic #hux fanfic #star wars fanfic #star wars #Star Wars Sequels #sequels fanfic #fanfic #armitage hux x reader #armitage hux x you #general hux x reader #general hux x you

3 notes · View notes

bigskydreaming · 5 years

Text

Headcanon that Dick handles explosions BADLY, and Jason thinks this is about him and how he died, which is understandable given that Jason also handles explosions badly (if they’re not caused by him, ie ones that he’s unprepared for - which makes for a very unconventional argument in favor of being the one to introduce explosions into any particular situation and thus preemptively control that particular factor there, but then again, Jason’s an unconventional kinda guy and also I digress).

So one time there’s an explosion and both Dick and Jason are on edge in its aftermath, because of it, and so Jason snaps at Dick for being visibly rattled by it because he’s trying to distract from his own lingering uneasiness like he’s all Self, get it together Jay, its been years, you should be over it by now, even though he knows damn well trauma doesn’t work like that, its just that he WANTS it to because this is INCONVENIENCING HIM, dammit, and thus he is edgy and irritable and snaps at Dick like oh fucking suck it up, I’m sick of you getting all worked up every time there’s an explosion around us because you’re so bothered by what happened to me like, its not about you, and you being a jittery freakshow because you’re all like, oh no, lemme hijack my brother’s trauma and make it my thing is really annoying, so knock it off.

And Dick gets all quiet and pensive and is just staring at him for a long while, like he doesn’t quite know how he wants to respond to this, and so Jason doubles down and commits to staring back for as long as is necessary to win, because like, look that’s just how being siblings works and also he’s right. Except he’s not, because when Dick finally does speak, its to say with a kind of pinched, controlled attempt at keeping his voice emotionless so as not to betray any kind of anger but also hurt, and also, it doesn’t work....

So he’s just like, please don’t take this the wrong way, Jason, because I certainly don’t mean to take anything away from your own experiences or imply that I wouldn’t be affected by them just as a reminder of what happened to you, but the effect that massive, unexpected explosions have on me has nothing to do with that actually. It just triggers certain memories and emotions from the time my city was nuked by supervillains.

And then he walks away stiffly and Jason’s like aww, fuck, because the downside of not letting yourself be someone your brother feels comfortable unburdening himself to because you’re worried that means you might risk unburdening yourself to him too and that’s just unthinkable, is like, its very easy to stick your foot in your mouth when there’s a decade and a half’s worth of active superheroing in your brother’s life where he could have been the victim of or exposed to any number of ordeals, injuries or traumas and that you have no clue about, other than maybe two or three of them....and just because two heroes have shared traumas or triggers or overlap in some traumas or triggers, that doesn’t mean they stem from the same place or are equivalent or even trying to be, its literally just that they occupy similar spheres of existence/experience, but either way, its really just not a great idea to assume off the bat that any given other hero has no possible relationship with the very same experiences or traumas or triggers you struggle with yourself.

And I know people are gonna try and make this a competition thing or a gotcha moment against Jason stans or try and compare and contrast explosion based traumas but hashtag Literally Don’t Tho, because that’s honestly not the point and I do actually mean it when I say that shit is tired and boring, and they’re both allowed to be traumatized for different reasons and scale and scope are utterly irrelevant when we’re talking about two different brothers engaged in two different post traumatic stress reactions stemming from two different sources.

This absolutely literally is legit just a headcanon that’s not about blaming Jason or saying he’s a bad brother at all, this is just a possible glimpse of their dynamic at some point, based off a scene I was picturing for a fic I was writing at some point and never finished, wherein Dick’s triggered by an explosion to a degree that’s even worse that specific time than Jason’s reaction to unexpected explosions normally is on average. With the difference being that this explosion had a greenish tint to the flames and Dick just fucking freaks and throws himself at Jason to protect him, and gets hurt in the process and thus Jason freaks and gets pissed at Dick because he feels guilty Dick got hurt because of him and also is legit pissed because he thinks its cuz Dick was reckless out of some misguided attempt to protect him from something that already happened to Jason, and thus is stupid.

But in reality, the reason for this particularly extreme reaction from Dick to this particular explosion is that the greenish tint triggered a highly specific and intense recall to the memories and emotions Dick had surrounding Chemo’s bombing of Bludhaven, since Chemo’s radiation powers gave that explosion a greenish tint too. And thus Dick’s reaction here also included channeling his overwhelming impulses of that time, in which he literally ran back into the radioactive fallout zone without any of the appropriate gear, because he was so lost in the headspace of ‘all these people dying is all my fault because the villains were targeting me specifically’ that this overrides all conscious cares for self-preservation, as well as awareness of his brother’s own competence and skills.

And thus also this post is about how fucking obnoxious it is that anything that includes both Dick and Jason having trauma reactions in the same scenario usually devolves into compare and contrast or better yet, Who Wore It Best, because that shit absolutely makes it all but impossible to explore entire facets of this fucked up family’s interpersonal relationships and dynamics, when its always treated as being about blaming one person or another for hurting another’s feelings or trying to rank the most hurt in any given scene, and sometimes its really just as simple as character x kinda stuck his foot in his mouth and made things tense and uncomfortable between him and character y for a little while and that’s all it needs to be, not an invitation to The Roast of Character X, Let’s Expose Him For Being A Horrible Person, instead of just them both being brothers who occasionally set off emotional landmines around each other due to no great flaw of their own but rather just due to the fact that their lives mean they inevitably both exist at all times as islands adrift in a sea of potential emotional landmines.

This post was brought to you by the letters ADHD and also fuck you punctuation, what’s so great about you anyway.

#like I can not ever stress enough how much my insistent harping on the double standards in fandom is literally just that #about the DOUBLE STANDARDS #not about trying to point to Dick as the most traumatized or most anything or best anything #merely attempting to point out the imbalanced perception of him compared to his brothers #in order to eliminate that imbalance from the equation #and put them on equivalent narrative footing #that's IT #please do not use my meta to attempt to leapfrog Dick into First Place Gold Medal Winner of Trauma Olympics #I reiterate: I hate Trauma Olympics whether my faves are winning or losing #because nobody really wins that shit and its counterproductive and I don't want to play #and also like you can do what you want with my meta obviously #Im just saying like for this particular usage of it #I'm not actually on board with that #just FYI

25 notes · View notes

everygame · 5 years

Photo

The Outer Worlds (Xbox One)

Developed/Published by: Obsidian Entertainment / Private Division Released: 25/10/2019 Completed: 28/11/2019 Completion: Finished it and I believe every side mission bar one: Parvati’s companion quest because she’d die in the middle of the conversation and botch it due to a bug. Classic. (This is now fixed.) Trophies / Achievements: 685/1000

So! I’ve previously written about Fallout: New Vegas here, which was a chocolate cake that I just ate and ate and ate and loved until I’d eaten too much and I got sick of it. And that’s even with that as bakers, Obsidian are somewhat famous for not getting the cake in the oven in time and leaving it a bit undercooked (which Fallout New Vegas definitely was) or even just forgetting stuff so it’s like you bite into a slice and there’s like a spoon in there because they didn’t notice when they mixed the batter.

I was feeling pretty good about the Outer Worlds, though! Even if they somehow managed to saddle it with a name where you’re like “the Outer Wilds. No, wait. The Outer Worlds” at first. No Bethesda this time to rush them and a planet-trotting adventure that made me think it might have a bit of the Alpha Protocol about it (which I loved, loved, loved, and recommend totally).

Anyway, I waited a couple of weeks in case there was a need for a quick patch after launch (I should have waited longer…) and after the usual “spend half an hour shaping your face which you never see” I got started and… I wasn’t super feeling it.

I’m not sure why the first area--which does exactly what I had wanted Fallout New Vegas to do, which is set you up with a town to deal with the conflicts of--didn’t work for me, and actually I think I’ve mostly worked it out because it’s a discomfort that never went away: the game’s UI is imperfect (all the text is too small, and the windows that pop-up obscure your view of your inventory, which is such a sin) and the balance and economy is totally out of wack.

Like… I never really understood if there was an actual difference between light or medium armour, and yes, the game is quite open, but there’s a really poor sense of progression. It seems like it’s locked to your level somewhat, but it’s also the interesting decision that really the game seems like it wants you to be able to just pick the gear you like the skills of (or the look of) and upgrade it, but it just ended up making picking up or stealing everything you see seem like a waste of time (even though I still did it.) Never mind that if that’s your plan you basically have to make it your goal to upgrade science to 100 asap so you can upgrade everything far more cheaply.

Indeed, even the leveling is a bit weird, with tons of perks that just aren’t that great and complexity that doesn’t make it that much more interesting (sure, I like having persuade, lie and intimidate. But wouldn’t it be more interesting for intimidate to be tied to your combat abilities, or something? And they’re almost always offered as a “pick the one of the three you’re higher in” dialogue!) I really found the core systems of this, yes, undercooked.

And what about the story? Well, there was definitely a window in the middle (say Groundbreaker/Byzantium/Monarch) where loads of things are happening.It’s fun! But above I said “there’s a really poor sense of progression” by which I meant in the systems,and the story weaved here really hammered home that there’s no sense of progression from Obsidian either. It’s very much the same thing they did in Fallout New Vegas except it’s somehow even more limited. There are lots of factions and yet only rarely will you do stuff to piss them off (unless you storm in and kill everyone, really) and because their goals don’t seem to affect others you can do almost the entire game playing every side without feeling anything (or even really causing any issues; I helped the baddies until a couple of hours from the end and it made no difference.) Now, Obsidian could definitely blame me here for trying to do everything in one run, because the game seems to get more interesting when you try to speedrun it (you know, kill this person to jump ahead, etc.) but that doesn’t really feel in the spirit of it. If they really didn’t want you to do everything in one run well they could just make the interactions between the factions more dynamic and affected by your actions.

I understand the tendency, but not every situation is A Fistful of Dollars. I played this for something like 28 hours and was definitely tired of it by the end, and I think how much more I’d probably have enjoyed it if, for example, I’d only been able to choose a few companions, do certain missions, have pissed off more people by doing those missions, and visit certain places, and been done in 8 hours. And then done it again, this time as a totally different character getting into different situations.

It’s definitely not that I didn’t enjoy this, but I was really quite underwhelmed despite happily ticking off every quest and blowing enemies heads off. I do think Obsidian have to think more about how to use their skills to make broader, more dynamic games rather than longer ones because it was frankly, tantalisingly close here.

Will I ever play it again? In the time between me originally writing this they fixed the companion bug, so I should, out of sheer bloody-mindedness go back and complete Parvati’s questline, but I’m struggling to get my dander up for it. I kind of wish I found this compelling enough to run through it again faster as a stupid, melee-focused mercenary but the balance is so off I think I’d just find it frustrating (I played this on hard, and it was sleepy easy until the very end, and Supernova has a bunch of annoying quirks like “limited saving” which is just so annoying. I like when I have to eat and sleep in games, just let me save when I like!)

Final Thought: I do think this comes across as a total bummer of a write-up so I’d like to note I really did enjoy this a lot for most of the running time even if I was a bit unsure at the beginning and a bit tired of it at the end. My suggestions: Concentrate on the dialogue skill you like, hack, lockpick, a weapon skill you like, but otherwise get science to max asap, allowing you to pick gear you like and just upgrade that. Then, concentrate on the main quests and take side-quests if you feel like it or need the money/experience. Kill people who piss you off; don’t try and play all sides. I’ll bet that makes all the difference.

#video games #games #gaming #the outer worlds #obsidian entertainment #private division #text #txt

3 notes · View notes

rorykillmore · 5 years

Text

okay and this ended up being more of a new years present than a christmas present, but regardless! my final gift fic for @xivuuarath ! they requested more of our “villanelle and ravage go on assassin missions together” au complete with ravage interacting with konstantin. note that i was originally going to do something crazy and fun for this but... then i got the idea to set it post-killing eve season 2 and it kind of took a more weighted and painful turn. this is an inevitability no matter what dynamic storm and i write together, so,

storm i hope you have (/had) a wonderful holiday!!! i know this year has been very difficult with caretaking and family stuff but i still think... it’s showcased an incredible amount of progress, and i’m always so happy for you and proud of you when i hear that you’re managing to write more or do more confidently in school. i know we also haven’t talked as frequently this past year, but you are still a friend who i love and value and have been through so much with, and that remains as important to me as ever <33 good luck with everything you do in 2020!!!

Patience might not be considered a virtue when it makes you a methodical, effective killer, but Ravage has rarely ever lacked it when it counts either way.

But these human spies the Decepticons have temporarily aligned themselves with -- they test him, sometimes. He detests most of the higher ranking members of the Twelve, frankly. They all reek of greed and wealth and apathy, and if there comes a day when Soundwave decides it might be beneficial to get rid of them, Ravage certainly does not plan on grieving.

Thankfully, the contacts he works most closely with - the assassin and her handler - are not quite so insufferable. Or at least, Villanelle is insufferable in a different way, and Konstantin... well, he’s the only human in this entire operation who Ravage can sometimes detect a whiff of decency from. Ravage occasionally halfway respects him, when he’s not seeking secret entertainment in wringing exasperation from him.

It is not like Konstantin to be late.

Ravage has waited for nearly an hour past their agreed meeting time, lurking in the shadows outside a Roman cathedral, his deflectors keeping him invisible to passing eyes.

Something’s gone wrong. Too much time has passed. Ravage would have given up and left, except that this operation is too important. He cannot report back until he knows for certain that Aaron Peel’s weapon has fallen into the correct hands.

He is debating throwing caution to the winds and going to sniff out Konstantin himself, though, when the man finally appears.

“You took your time,” Ravage growls, flickering into visibility and making no secret of his impatience. “I hope you at least have good news for me.”

“The best,” Konstantin assures him, but his smile does not quite reach his eyes. “Aaron Peel is dead, and we have successfully confiscated his weapon before he could sell it off. Sorry it took me so long, I was -- held up.”

And despite his outwardly calm, amicable air, Ravage instantly smells something jarring and distinct. Guilt. It is an emotion ill-suited to Konstantin, and Ravage can’t imagine what might have caused it. Unless --

“Where is Villanelle?” he asks slowly, and he knows his guess is correct the moment Konstantin’s expression falters.

“Ah. She is... gone. We have parted ways, for the time being.”

Well. It’s not dead, at least, but Ravage can also tell it’s not the whole story. But instead of calling Konstantin out, he merely stands there in silence, his optics glowing with the silent indignity of the transparent lie by omission.

And whatever actually happened must be itching under Konstantin’s skin, because it doesn’t take him long at all to crumple. “...We perhaps withheld certain details about our part of the plan.” Sensing Ravage’s incredulity, he quickly and defensively adds, “It had nothing to do with the Decepticons. Just -- our people. Our business.”

“Evidently, she was supposed to be my partner. You don’t think that makes it my business?”

Konstantin is quiet for a while. Then he comes out with it, plain and simple, “Carolyn Martens wanted her dead.”

Ravage processes that silently.

“The plan was that she would kill Aaron Peel, and then one of the Twelve’s other operatives would get rid of her. I tried to provide her with an escape, of course, but she... was not happy with me.”

“Shocking,” Ravage says disdainfully, and that’s when he places the emotion churning in his spark -- shock. There had been many an occasion, amidst his and Villanelle’s endless banter, when they had compared handlers - Ravage being elusive when it came to details of his own, of course - but while Konstantin could certainly never hold a candle to Soundwave in Ravage’s opinion, he hadn’t anticipated... this. The strained, complicated love between Konstantin and Villanelle had been something, at least, perhaps enough to blind Ravage a little to the brutal way these things often go.

These people have no loyalty to each other after all, he thinks in disgust.

“Where is she now?” he hears himself ask without even fully knowing why.

“Gone.” Konstantin’s eyes look sad, and Ravage, of course, can tell that he means it. “I told her to get out, but she would not leave Eve Polastri, and so...”

It would be unbefitting to let Konstantin have a read on him now, so Ravage suppresses the hiss of frustration he wants to let out. Always Eve Polastri. Ravage cannot understand Villanelle’s reckless obsession, her willingness to compromise everything else, for the supposed agent of the enemy who once nearly killed her. It is irrationality almost unparalleled to everything else he has seen in his millions of years. For that, he might have sardonically congratulated her, had the stakes been different. “They’ll get themselves killed.”

“Or one of them will kill the other,” Konstantin suggests grimly. His eyes are lost, and he still stinks of regret. “I think... Villanelle is misreading the situation.”

That wouldn’t be anything new, but Ravage bites back the retort and stews silently until Konstantin asks, “What will you do now, Ravage?”

Ravage resents him for asking, and resents even more that his answer is less immediate than it should be. “Stick to the plan and report back,” he says finally, prowling towards the mouth of the alley. He wants to add something more biting, maybe tell Konstantin that he will be requesting to work with someone else in the future, but that would be -- overly sentimental. So he doesn’t.

“Ravage,” Konstantin calls after him. “I did not want it to be this way. But orders are orders. You know this as well as anyone.”

He does, of course. And it’s an excuse he’s starting to get sick of hearing.

---

Once he has briefed Soundwave, Ravage finds himself... disconcertingly conflicted. Soundwave tells him to lay low for the time being - until the ripples caused by Peel’s death die down - which is easy enough. But it also leaves him with too much free time. Ravage would like to feel efficient. He would not like to be left alone with his thoughts. It might end with him doing something embarrassingly reckless.

Like tracking down Villanelle. Which he inevitably does.

On one hand, he rationalizes, she is a loose end, a rogue agent formerly associated with an organization allied with the Decepticons, and thus at the very least worth checking up on. But Ravage has tried never to make a habit to lie to himself, and he knows it’s not only that.

For better or for worse - whether it’s a weakness or a precious remnant of a more righteous cause that he ought to sink his claws into and never, ever let go of - Ravage has a habit of doing the right thing when he can afford to. Not that war affords him the luxury very often any more, but perhaps that only means it’s all the more important to try when he can.

And so. Here he is.

He knocks down a vase that looks like it might be the most expensive fixture in this hotel room to announce his presence, taking momentary satisfaction in the way it hits the ground and shatters into several pieces. And of course, it has the effect he intended: Villanelle is up off the bed and alert within a second’s reaction time, weapon in hand, scanning the room in search of the source of the noise.

Before he reveals himself, Ravage takes a moment to observe her. She looks... tired. A little more disheveled than she usually does. Both of these things, he notes, are oddities, and when he tries to get a read on her emotional state he finds her even more difficult than usual. It’s a difficult thing to explain, but Villanelle’s emotions do not have quite the same scent as most sentient beings’. Like she gets different flavors of sad, or angry, or elated, than everyone else does. Ravage has been around her long enough that he can sometimes puzzle her out anyway, but today he finds her irritatingly contradictory.

“I thought you’d be used to me breaking your things by now,” he growls smoothly, uncloaking.

Villanelle narrows her eyes in recognition, and after a moment, she lowers the gun. But it takes her a while to say anything, and when she does, it’s not a sharp, cheery quip like usual. “What do you want?”

“Your employers didn’t send me, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Ravage pauses. “Konstantin said you’d left.”

“Yup.” Villanelle pops the ‘p’ and sits down on the edge of the bed, already making a point of looking disinterested in the conversation. “So what? Haven’t you ever thought about leaving your people? It must get boring, after thousands of years.”

“Millions,” Ravage corrects her not for the first time, pausing. “And no.”

He thinks of Megatron with a quiet ache in his spark.

“Why not?”

“My handler has never once conspired to leave me for dead, for one thing.”

Villanelle huffs in exaggerated disbelief. “I guess he really was better after all.” But the joke feels almost inappropriately hollow, and Ravage doesn’t deign to comment on it. It’s a moment before Villanelle continues, “He says he did it to protect his family. Can you believe that? With that little gremlin daughter of his shaving years off his life.”

Konstantin hadn’t mentioned that part. Ravage’s optics glow faintly in the dim light. He can admit to himself, easily, that he would have done the same for Soundwave and the cassettes.

And yet... he’d had the impression that Konstantin and Villanelle were whatever passed for human family.

He watches her lie back on the bed and stare at the ceiling, her expression blank, devoid of anger or grief. But there is something uncharacteristically somber and still about her now, nonetheless. Ravage almost finds it disconcerting.

“He also said you left with the MI-6 agent,” he continues after a moment. “Where is she?” Because he can’t catch Eve’s scent anywhere in the hotel room -- as far as he can discern, Villanelle is alone.

And this time, her reaction is noticeable. Her arms wrap around herself, and her nails dig pointedly into her side. Ravage doesn’t know much about human flesh, but he figures that has to be painful. Abruptly, Villanelle turns over on her stomach, facing him, her legs dangling limply behind her. “Ravage?”

He’s going to take that as a ‘he’s not going to get much information out of her just now’. “What?”

“Can you tell me what love feels like?”

Ravage briefly forgets to hide his surprise. It’s an odd, straightforward, vulnerable question, coming from her of all people. He hesitates, considering for a long while. “No.” Villanelle’s eyes dim slightly, and he continues, “It’s not something you explain. It’s just something you know, when you feel it.”

Perhaps 25 years - or whatever ridiculously young age she is; Ravage can scarcely keep track - is too short a time to feel anything as powerful and complicated as love. Perhaps humans have to spend their whole lives trying.

Villanelle shifts, another question bubbling up. “Then can you tell me what... regret feels like?”

Ravage is silent for another moment. “What’s happened, Villanelle?”

Villanelle stares at him. Then she sighs and rolls over again, spread out, eternally dramatic. “You are noooot being very helpful. Why did you even come here to find me, if you are not going to kill me, and you are not going to answer any of my questions?”

“Because I don’t think you’d understand, if I told you why I was really here.” Ravage flicks his tail behind him once, and then settles into a careful crouch, still watching her. Debating. “...Regret is not always the all-consuming force of nature people like to make it out to be.”

To show she’s paying attention, Villanelle sits up a little.

“Sometimes it’s small, and feeble. Sometimes you don’t even realize it’s there. And sometimes you do, but you know it won’t change anything, so you push it down and away where it can’t be a bother.” Again -- Ravage will not lie to himself, will not say he has not known regret after regret in millennia of brutality. But there’s no shame in that. Not when he hasn’t allowed himself to falter, either. Unbidden, Megatron comes to his mind again. “...But even when you do, it doesn’t mean it can’t eat away with you. Slowly, over time. I’ve seen it hollow people out with empty spaces.”

Villanelle breathes out slowly. “I am already all empty spaces. Maybe that’s why I can’t feel it.”

Ravage takes a long time choosing the words to respond to that. “I think you don’t know very much about yourself.”

Villanelle doesn’t agree, and she doesn’t object. She just keeps staring at the ceiling, and they share their silence, and that feels empty, too. “Will you stay?” she asks after stretch of this.

“For a little while,” Ravage agrees, because he’s already made up his mind.

Villanelle doesn’t ask him why, and he doesn’t tell her, and perhaps it’s easier for both of them that way.

#christmas gifts #fic #[me writing ravage pov after 40 years] haha hope this doesn't suck.

2 notes · View notes

kryptsune · 5 years

Text

Frisky’s WTU mini vent

🌼So I rarely do these. I just need to get a specific set of topics off my chest. Don’t worry I am not sad or angry just a little... frustrated. I did a HUGE post about this a while back and I am posting it again. Look I know how it looks trust me. Just... please... give the fic, the characters, the relationships a chance. That is all I ask. I know it is a lot to read and I know there are some unsavory parts but they are there for very specific reasons. I am just really tired of people coming to me on AO3 or otherwise legitimately upset with either me not tagging it as something they want or otherwise. Please understand my frustrations and to those that read this entire thing, thank you >////<

🌼I have a few things I want to discuss and talk about considering that I do not want this to become an issue. Look I made WTU M for a reason. It is dark and has adult themes and content (though admittedly not even close to some of the stuff I have seen or read). It is not a fic for the faint of heart. This story will not change and I am not going to conform to people’s scrutiny either. Let me first start by stating that I make specific things vague for a reason. Those that have followed this blog for a while will remember my explanation as to why violence happens the way it does. I don’t feel I need to justify anything to my readers. If you have questions I am more than happy to address them. That said to have someone skim the fic after the notorious chapter 6 and write in the comments irks me.

Guys the material and that frickin scene is not lost on me trust me and before anyone gets high and mighty with me in regards to Sans and Frisk let me explain why this scene exists and attempt to explain Sans actions in a spoiler-free way. I will not sugar coat that it is extremely difficult for me to do so and I will do my best. I also want to point out that I am in no way justifying his actions what I am trying to do is explain the two very different mindsets that exist in this world and how that clash causes ch 6 and how it is dealt with.

Why do I make certain things vague? I suppose that is a good place to start. The whole point of my lack of clarity is supposed to have the reader (that is all of you) come to your own conclusions. There are a lot of themes in WTU and making assumptions and judgments is a big one. You are supposed to take a side that is the whole point. You can choose to be like Chara or you can choose to be like Frisk. Now I know what happened in that chapter concerned a lot of people specifically because it gives off that abusee falling in love with their abuser vibe. That is not the case at all and I want to make this perfectly clear, I DO NOT APPROVE ANY SUCH RELATIONSHIP IN THE SLIGHTEST. IT IS HORRIBlE AND I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT TOPIC IN ANY OTHER WAY THAN DISGUSTING. If it bothers you so much why is it in the fic especially since it is marked as Frans? Oh boy howdy, do I wish that I didn’t have to even write it. It made me sick for weeks as I attempted to handle that chapter and the one following it. I do not take these things lightly and I never will. I can not go into detail as to why the scene is in there however what I can say is that it is important and by important I mean there is no workaround (trust me I have tried it just does not have the same impact). Let me explain why this is: 1. Humans and monsters are different. They have different moral standards. One thing to them is different for humans due to biology and culture. Monsters who want kids need to both desire that outcome. Anything else is just fun/way to pass the time/ relief. What Sans does is not out of malice. In his mind, he doesn’t see the situation the same way Frisk does or us for that matter. That is the point. I am not justifying what he does, far from, and I want to be perfectly clear that it is there for a reason. It is vital to his and others character development. Sans is not a bad character. He is a conflicted character. One that is aggressive due to (plot spoilers) and backstory. If I explained it I feel people would understand but I am not going to do that as it would ruin more than 2/3 of the entire story.

2. There are consequences to his actions. Oh, boy is there. I won’t state what they are but trust me when I say his actions both in the physical violence and the sexual hit him hard and for a very VERY long time.

3. This is not solely a Frans fic. Firstly, people tend to automatically assume that this is all Frans shipping when it is actually quite the opposite. This is a story about how that comes to be but I won’t sugar coat anything in it. I treat my readers like adults and I will continue to do so. Second in this point is that Frisk does not fall in love with Sans… there is a reason I use Sans instead of Red. Sans is the person she first meets, the horrible monster that does all the things I have alluded to before. Red is not. Yes, they are the same person physically but not emotional/mentally. The point is that he changes and grows and sees a side to himself that he can not stand. Said situation is just the straw that breaks the camels back. After the events of Book 1, there is at least a 5-year gap. At that point, the past is in the past.

4. The story is not to its rebuttal yet. What do I mean by that? Well, the truth of the matter is this is an incomplete PUBLISHED story. I know exactly what I am doing and it is planned from start to finish. My readers do not. I do things in a very specific fashion that holds purpose and relevance for characters or chapters to come. Waterfall is a big one and eventually you will see what I am talking about as it will further dive into chapter 6s purpose. What I will say is this, after this scene in Waterfall the dynamic changes for the better. I promise you. I know some people are holding out for the hope that Sans will stop his shit. I can promise that to you, he will.

5. It is a work of fiction. This is a big one. There are plenty of novels or fictional works out there that have these kinds of material in them but something like that gets a pass while I get scrutinized? How is that remotely fair? I will handle the topic with respect and maturity as I always have. I have had people go through this and being a victim myself I understand where these kinds of comments come into play. That said. I can’t say this enough that it is important and I treat it as such. If it still bothers you and you want a further explanation as to the reasons I cannot state message me. I will explain. I am not doing so publically as I know people who don’t want the story spoiled.

After all of that, all I can say is that you can choose not to read it if it bothers you that much. What I ask is that you respect my decisions as an author and take a step back. There are very few that know the full story and I keep it that way for a reason. The first book in the Welcome to the Underworld series is not for everyone. That is the point. It is meant to make you think and reflect just like the characters I am writing for. At the end of the day, you can either trust me in these decisions or not that is entirely up to you but I ask that you give me a chance and opportunity. I am very open with my work I am more than happy to clear up things privately for others. Guys, I put my heart and soul into his fic and those that really enjoy it I appreciate your continued support. We are all on this roller coaster ride together and I am thankful so many have stayed on with me. It is always darkest before the dawn everyone, hang in there. Book 2 is pretty much all fluffy drabbles or mini stories. There is a reason I call the Underground the Underworld instead. It is supposed to have many allusions to Hell for both it’s inhabitants and it’s human captee. The darkness that I place in the story is supposed to make the good and happy all that more meaningful and impactful. I hope that eventually others begin to see those underlying themes. Thank you for reading this if you went through this word wall. I just felt like I needed to explain this a little further to avoid any unsavory conclusions.

#frisky speaks #mini rant #vent #WTU #Welcome to the Underworld #frans #sans x frisk #Red is doing his best ok?#please give them all a chance #That is literally one of the messages in the fic

25 notes · View notes