#get yourself lawyered up
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Minthara teeters the line of violent insanity, I know she prides herself on control and while it remains true. She gets so ⊠excited, when torture and violence is brought into play and laughing while she does it. I mean it when I say she TEETERS that line.
#[ đ·ïž ] ââ musings#[ sheâs sad you didnât actually kill the clown and I know itâs memeâd to high hell ]#[ she gets giggly when you find the decapitated body parts ]#[ collecting heads is not something Orin introduced she still has a massive pile of skulls by her tent ]#[ and she gets so excited legitimately when it comes to any dialogue of torturing and slaughtering something ]#[ yeah remember the flying elephant lawyer? the Bhaal sacrifice? ]#[ when heâs cussing around she gets so excited and wants you to hold him down while she chops him up ]#[ like literally if you donât want to prove yourself to Bhaal she is eager to do so and gets jealous ]#[ that Bhaal didnât ask HER for HER favor instead ]#[ like there is a cut reason why she gets along with Durge and why o.rin enjoyed her so much ]#clear cut*#[ girlfriends/boyfriends/partners who enjoy murder x drow girlfriend whoâs good and loves to murder ]
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i was thinking more about asmodeus' waterdhavian sona in the car and decided that patience is
a) a lawyer because that was the funniest imaginable thing i could think of, for asmodeus to secretly have a law firm in waterdeep (the dm came up with the slam dunk name 'patience is a virtue legal solutions' for his practice)
and b) significantly shorter than celeste
literally no one who even remotely knows celeste can figure out why they're dating and everyone agrees he's astronomically out of patience's league
#the glasses are obviously not prescription#he just thought looking like a reedy bespectacled little dork was a perfect disguise#who would ever suspect this guy of being an evil deity#part of me really hopes the party gets arrested in waterdeep at some point now#so celeste can be like 'i'm not saying anything until i speak with my lawyer' and asmodeus has to come get him out of jail#anyway i like to think about waterdhavians gossiping about celeste#i mean. his family was like beloved in their neighborhood and celeste is memorable and performs a lot#i like to think he's like a minor local celebrity#also every employee at the law firm is actually a devil in disguise except the receptionist who is a normal human woman with no idea#all of the devils have become extremely fond of her#if you insult nancy's baking you will find yourself being ripped to shreds in the nine hells#i literally just want like a sitcom about this law office now#asmodeus also has like two or three devils who are specifically there to dress up as patience and pretend to be him#since he generally isn't actually on the material plane and doesn't have time to run a small business#doodles#oc: celeste#fel's ttrpgs#dnd: tales from the dancing sea dragon#technically#asmodeus#i do not know what they're looking at in the second photo
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blasting into a discord with my 750,000 simulated dice rolls and stem background to argue about the rules of a game with the designer
#to clarify i am not doing this to be an asshole i am doing it because i had neat dice facts and strong opinions#there's a specific rule about how rolls are resolved if you don't have *anything* in your dice pool#but unfortunately in tough situations (where you'd be cutting the highest 1 or 2 results)#the roll resolution with nothing gives you better odds than mid-tier dice pools. statistically disincentivizing using your skills.#to be fair one can come up with potential narrative and mechanical workarounds as a dm#and it does require your players to either be desperate (not putting together an alternate route) or to have also run the numbers#(and to be willing to use a mechanical loophole)#but as i had neat stats information (hooray!) and one of my favorite activities is rules-lawyering i had to say *something*#anyway! dice-rolling stats are *weird* and vary *wildly* depending on how your system uses them#and a fun and easy thing you can do before playing any new ttrpg is get yourself some dice stats information#familiarize yourself with your odds of success
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It is annoying the people on that friend breakup finale poll who think that just cuz grace/simon are cartoon characters theyâre like. Just obviously lesser and thereâs no way their story could be as crazy or complicated as the characters from the live action horror show and that everyone who wants them to win is a childish loser who only watches baby shows and therefore has invalid opinions
#this is just a grrrrr rant but like aaaaghh#stop being so damn pretentious#like lesbian cannibalism sounds awesome as hell thats so up my alley i have to check them out absolutely#but people thinking that cuz IT is a cartoon it couldnt POSSIBLY be#fucked up in a comparable way is just really annoying#cuz its just people having this mentality of âhaha look at these stupid tumblr users watching baby shows thinking its dark or sophisticatedâ#and idk getting off to being soooooo mature for watching big boy adult shows#dude does it feel good to be on the cringe website laughing at other people for being cringe#do you feel strong now#have you stopped crying yourself to sleep#are you a rich successful lawyer getting hamburgers cooked by your loser high school bullies#does the burger taste good are you happy are you having fun on tumblr
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So? It didn't even bother him he's totally fine he doesn't even think about it anymore what are you talking about he's completely over it and he's fine now it didn't even affect him he barely remembers it anymore it's such a blip he doesn't even care he's fine-
It will never not be funny how aa1 phoenix is like
The most tragic event of my life was when I was 7 and people thought i stole someones pocket money đ
And in trials and tribulations he is like
Yea so my ex tried to kill me once in collage
#Someone: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions\traumatic experiences Phoenix?#Phoenix: Yeah okay sure#This one time I was framed for a crime I didn't commit :(#I was 9 and they thought I stole someone's lunch money :(#Someone: Oh#I thought you were going to talk about when you were at Uni and-#Phoenix: Worst experience of my life :( Made me want to become a lawyer when people stood up for me and helped me :D#Someone: Like Mia did when-#Phoenix: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT WHO EVEN IS MIA I DON'T KNOW HER ALSO I HAVE TO GO NOW BYE#Someone: ... Well#That seems like a completely normal and sane reaction :)#How to get someone to not pry into your trauma: a thread by Penix Wrong#Step 1: They will probably know you have some sort of trauma already so pretend all your trauma come from small things#Then you can be like 'Yeah I have trauma I was bullied by the entire class and my teacher when I was 9 this one time'#Step 2: Don't tell them anything deeper#Don't tell them#Deny deny deny#Step 3: Keep this up#preferably with a 'heart on your sleeve' attitude so no one even notices you aren't saying some things#Congratulations! Now all you have to do is keep this up and shove your feelings down as deep as you can and throw yourself into helping#others and never look back or think about the past or anything that hurts\triggers you and look after everyone and save everyone and#make everything about looking after their problems and help them and save them and help them work through things deflect deflect defl-
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i was going to post something like "My dad refusing to be late for an arbitrary time he set himself vs my dad making me late to school almost every day from 3rd grade to 11th grade" except then we discovered that Uh Oh, the new car that's being having glitches and malfunctions all the time (which he has refused to say anything about because he doesn't want to go through the trouble) is Very Predictably having an issue. Specifically with the starter motor. on the car we need the most.
#it's the only one my mom can get in.#because her hip is bad#and it could have been less bad if the surgeon didn't suck and make that leg an inch and a half too long#which of course is grounds for a lawsuit but once again my dad doesn't want to go through the trouble.#he doesnt listen to other people but when he tries to do decent things for his family he always finds a way to fuck it up#and doesn't do anything about it because god forbjd you stand up for yourself and your family#and the punchline? he's a fucking LAWYER.
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hold up. pause.
i couldn't get 15 minutes into the finale without crying. had to stop and write this. my heart SO goes out to marissa! i relate to her so hard, having been in a weirdly similar situation to her. was also with a two-faced performative leftist Nice Guy who looooooved that i'm a Strong Woman with intense energy in the beginning, and once we moved in together decided actually, i was too much. EERILY similar to ramses.
"that's what every guy feels. they love the first few months of dating me, cause the energy is so fucking great. like i get it, i've heard that before." i wanted to hug her so badly!!!! it's the most vile feeling on earth for someone to use the reasons they used to love you as the reasons they don't anymore.
meanwhile, marissa sees their difference in vibe/energy (ramses being the "calmer" one and marissa being the more intense one) as something to be celebrated and just worked around where consideration is needed. her love supersedes and she doesn't have a need to be in a relationship with someone who is exactly fucking like her.
the poor girl was so shooketh. she couldn't believe how suddenly he changed his mind, from one minute loving everything about her and wanting to get married to wanting to break up the next. god, i understand the whiplash from that shit. she is going to need therapppyyyyyyyy.
we as women need to stop thinking that men are just having a great time in a relationship with us if they haven't brought anything up!! they do not communicate the way we do. women being quiet = everything is fine. men being quiet = everything MIGHT be fine, but he could just as equally be deeply unhappy and plotting his escape/affair. they actually are sociopathic in that they can act like they love us to placate us while they find a way to fade out of the relationship. us women know that if we're done we can't even touch him anymore!
i'm so tired of seeing the pure love of women be fucking corrupted by user men. please understand that a man's emotional landscape may as well be an alien planet, they do not experience love the way we do at ALL. women love unconditionally, faithfully, like mothers. a man's love is conditional to the dopamine he gets from your presence. that's it. and because dopamine and therefore feelings fade in and out, you point blank cannot trust a man to stay by your side throughout all of your seasons of life.
maybe he's good for right now, sure, but don't depend on him being in the picture long term. imagine when you give birth and experience physical and emotional changes, or if you go through an illness, experience a personal loss, etc. most men will not hesitate to cut you loose the moment you don't make him feel good 24/7 anymore and need to lean on HIM. they don't want to be depended on, because dependence = expectations, and expectations = control = loss of freedom to a man. there is nothing more important to a man than the freedom to do whatever the fuck he pleases at all times.
please watch this show as a way to better understand how duplicitous men operate. i don't care if you don't watch reality tv bc you're better than that, neither do i, but this show is the exception.
every SINGLE man on the cast this season has displayed GIANT red flags from day 1 IF you know how to look. there isn't a single man on S7 who i would say is real husband material. whether it's being a liar, unfaithful, hiding things about their pasts, and being actual man children who have never had to lift a finger in their entire lives, it's clear this season that the casting of the men was meant to be a cautionary tale.
#like i don't get it!!! marissa is BEAUTIFUL and vibrant and sweet and accomplished and is going to be a lawyer!!!!#if someone like THAT has to beg and cry for a mid male to love her the rest of us don't stand a chance#we see over and over on this season the theme of the women having their shit together#and the men...don't#and rightfully so the women are like hey....are you going to be an adult in this context or do i have to remind you#to do the dishes get my mom a gift etc etc#and the men are like#wahhhhh you're trying to control and change me stop you evil wench#WHAT is it with men who see the dynamics of involved partnership as their wings being clipped????#they want all the benefits of partnership with women but they don't want to give anything or have any expectations placed on them#please watch this season and if you see any of this crap irl please cut it the fuck off EARLY#i don't even watch reality tv but love is blind is the exception#i have personal experience that i relate to the subject matter on#and i'm using it as research to see how narcissistic and avoidant manchildren operate so i don't fall for that shit ever again#there ARE signs educate yourself!!#love is blind#love is blind season 7#god her cries got to me#how she cried about just wanting to be chosen for once#i used to feel the same way and then i got therapy#that helped me realize that being chosen by a man is a nothingburger status.#actually it's statistically a negative to your quality of life if you're a woman#realize that male validation is a false trophy we are trained to chase after from birth that literally means nothing.#choose yourself. love yourself. and realize how historically your life has been BETTER without a man literally dirtying it up.#what does it mean to be chosen by a man who can barely wipe his own ass properly?#who has to be reminded to clean his space who lies to you with a straight face who feels nothing for you when you cry?#what does being chosen by an objectively shit human being grant you as a person?#please untangle how the patriarchy has rotted your brain as a woman and set yourself free.
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A lot of younger people have no idea what aging actually looks and feels like, and the reasons behind it. That ignorance is so dangerous. If you donât want to âbe old,â you arenât talking about a number of years. I have patients in their late 80s who could still handily beat me in a raceâone couple still runs marathons together, in their late 80sâand I lost someone who was in her early 60s to COPD last year. What you want is not youth, it is health.
If you want to still be able to enjoy doing things in your 60s and 70s and 80s and even 90s, what you want to do, right now, is quit smoking, get some activity on a regular basis (a couple of walks a week is WAY better for you than nothing; increasing from 1 hour a day of cardio to 1.5 will buy you very little), and eat some plants. Thatâs it. No magic to it. No secret weird tricks. Donât poison yourself, move around so your body doesnât forget how, and eat plants.
If you have trouble moving around now because of mobility limitations, bad news: you still need to move around, not because itâs immoral not to, but because thatâs still the best advice we have. I highly recommend looking up the Sit and Be Fit series; it is freely available and has exercises that can be done in a chair, which are suitable for people with limited mobility or poor balance. POTS sufferers, Iâm looking at you.
If you have trouble eating plants because of dietary issues (they cause gas, etc.) or just because theyâre bitter (super taster with texture issues here!), bad news. You still want to find a way to get some plants into your body on a regular basis. I know. It sucks. The only way I can do it is restaurantsâthey can make salads taste like food. I can also tolerate some bagged salads. On bad weeks, the OCD with contamination focus gets so bad I just canât. However, canned beans always seem âsafe,â and they taste a bit like candy, so theyâre a good fallback.
If you smoke and you have tried quitting a million times and youâre just not ready to, bad news. You still need to quit. Your body needs you to try and keep trying. Your brain needs it, too. Damaging small blood vessels racks up cumulative damage over time that your body can start trying to reverse as soon as you quit. I know itâs insanely, absurdly addictive. You still need to.
You cannot rules lawyer your way past your bodyâs basic needs. It needs food, sleep, activity, and the absence of poison. Those are both small things and big asks. You cannot sustain a routine based on punishment, so donât punish your body. Find ways to include these things that are enjoyable and rewarding instead. Experiment. There is no reason not to experimentâyou donât have to know instantly whatâs going to work for you and what wonât, you just need to be willing to try things and make changes when things arenât working for you.
You will still age. Your body will stop making collagen and elastin. Tissues you can see and tissues you canât see will both sag. Cushioning tissues under your skin will get thinner. Youâll bruise more easily. Skin will tear more easily. Accumulated sun damage will start to show more and more. Joints will begin to show arthritis. Tendons and ligaments will get weaker and get injured more easily, as will muscles. Bones will lose mass and get easier to break. Youâll get tired more easily.
But you know what makes the difference between being dead, or as good as, in your 60s vs your 90s? Activity, plants, and quitting smoking. And donât do meth. Saw a 58-year-old guy this week who is going to have a heart attack if he doesnât quit whatever stimulant heâs on. I pretended to believe it was just the cigarettes, and maybe it is, but meth and cocaine will kill you quicker. Stop poisoning yourself.
Baby steps; take it one step at a time; you donât need to have everything figured out right now. But you do need to be working on figuring things out.
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reblogged this once already, but it occurred to me to add: if everyone in your partner's life dislikes/hates/is constantly criticizing you and telling them to leave you, and you have found yourself being isolated from everyone in your life other than the partner and those people, that is also a huge red flag.
if the framing being beaten into your head is 'everyone but me hates you and thinks you're toxic and rancid, but i'll protect you because i'm the only person around who thinks you're not Awful. if it weren't for me sheltering, supporting, and advocating for you, everyone would and will turn on you in a heartbeat,' that is BAD NEWS and you need to get out of there.
If EVERYBODY in your life hates your significant other then they are the problem. If it is one or two people like a family member you have a turbulent relationship with and one friend whoâs always been kind of jealous, maybe they just hate your success. But most of the time that is not the case and the people who are closest to you and love you and have had your back for years probably know when your new relationship is toxic and/or doomed.
#abuse cw#traumatag#this is also one of the caveats i wish people would talk about more#when it comes to instances of 'i don't want you talking to other people about our relationship'#if your response to your partner bringing other people in on a disagreement is fear and betrayal because 'wait that's not fair'#'i've tried so so hard throughout our relationship to handle conflicts without telling anyone what was happening'#'because i didn't want to make you look bad; or hold the threat of making you look bad over your head to win an argument'#'and now *you're* bringing in other people to do exactly that; and you get a team of people to back you up when i've got no one but me'#that's a huge sign that something's wrong and it's not you#and a hundred times over if they do this when you call them on gaslighting and other abusive behavior; and expose holes in their story#and they go 'uhhhhh shit okay i'm going to pull away and take time out to consult my lawyers i mean friends'#and when they come back from this having had the opportunity to figure out how to spin it and waterproof the things you pointed out#*and* they come back Energized to keep treating you like shit; whereas by that point you're scared and drained and exhausted#and either ready to cave in just so it'll be over; or know you're in worse shape to advocate for yourself than before the timeout#Something's Wrong. It is Not You.
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#im so tired#i dont want to go to work#i dont want to ever speak to anyone there ever again or do any kind of work for them#i cant believe i still work there#my boss is partner in the firm and is getting constantly harassed and disrespected by the other partners#hes a lawyer and applied us as a whole team to a new firm IN NOVEMBER#the new firm said upfront that they 100% want to work with us and just have some internal stuff they need to clear up first#and theyve been saying that in january#in march#in may#and now#now my boss says we'll be gone by december#while administration and other coworkers actively sabotage our work and even insult our clients#our team is my boss and his secretary and me and the secretary and me are left in the dark all the time and have so much anxiety bc of this#and all my mom does is invalidate me in this shes like YOU EXHAUST YOURSELF ON PURPOSE ITS NOT SOMETHING YOU CONTROL SO DONT THINK ABOUT IT#ITS A QUESTION OF OUTLOOK AND MINDSET SO JUST THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS AND IF YOU DONT ITS YOUR PROBLEM#EVERYTHING IS MOVING ALONG WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT#idk i dont even want to work for the new firm anymore because of this#i dont want anything anymore i just want to be left alone#i wish i had a better idea on what job i could apply for or what would make me more happy#i wish i had a chance if i applied#i dont know how to survive life
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Wedded Bliss
Pairing: Mob!Bucky x Reader
Summary: The marriage was arranged, and the sex is deranged. Bucky is so obsessed with your pussy that he almost forgets heâs meant to be faking this whole thingâand hating it, like sworn enemies are supposed to do.
Warnings: 18+. Dubcon. Corruption kink. Virginity loss. Arranged marriage between enemies. Brat taming. Breeding kink. Beefy, mob boss Bucky devolving into a fall-to-his-knees-just-to-fuck-you kind of horny mess.
Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
You kissed him and wished him dead in the same breath. You said âI doâ and meant âI donât,â exchanged your vows like your own last rites, and felt him slip the ring on your finger as if heâd just tightened a noose around your neck.
You didnât want to be a bride, and you sure as hell didnât want to be the bride to Mr. James Buchanan Barnes.
Frankly, you were mortified.
And terrified, too, now that you knew your groom might actually kill you in the kitchen of your honeymoon suite.
âHave you lost your fucking mind?!â
âI walked down the aisle, didnât I?â
Another plate went crashing on the wall behind your husbandâs head just as he managed to duck. He side-stepped a spray of porcelain and glass and probably crushed several hundred shards beneath his polished black oxfords when he walkedâstalkedâover to you.
Youâd just reared back to hurl a serving plate at his face when you found your speed swiftly outmatched. Bucky had your elbow gripped between his forefinger and thumb in less than a second, and, pinching the bone like he might readily break it, he said, even as always,
âPut it down.â
You did as he told you and dropped the platter to the floor with a crash.
Rather than berate you for the broken chinaâor the four other pieces before itâyour husband only smiled.
âAre we done?â
Hell, you wanted to be. Slide over a pen and a one-way plane ticket to someplace in BFE, and youâd be signing those divorce papers in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, your dear husband was just referring to the temper tantrum.
You werenât totally sure if you were finished on that front, so you looked him up and down and shrugged.
âNow darlingââ he started.
âDonât call me that.â
âLight of my lifeââ
âIâll kill you.â
Your cool, level-headed groom took each gibe like it was his sworn duty, and only when he yanked your wrists behind your back and shoved you toward the bedroom door did you sense that he might not be too pleased with your behavior.
Your knees struck the edge of the California King at the center of the room, and before you could will yourself not to fall face-first, Bucky nudged you hard again.
Still pinning your hands behind you, he followed your collapse on the bed and leaned over your prone body.
His breaths were hot on your ear; you could tell he was smiling as he started to hike your dress up your legs.
âItâs all part of the deal, doll.â
You wriggled under his hold and tried to angle yourself better to see him, hoping heâd see your scowl.
âThe deal was to get married,â you reminded him.
âMhmm,â Bucky hummed, just then starting to trail a finger up the uncovered skin of your calf with his other hand, âAnd what is it that married people do?â
You kicked your foot reflexively, paused, then said,
âFight. Constantly. Probably resent each other for the better part of two decades before we finally decide that âmaking it workâ for the kids isnât worth it at all, and I claim half of everything you own in a bitter divorce.â
That earned a chuckle from Bucky. He kept his roaming hand brushing up the back of your thigh and squeezed the flesh just below the swell of your rear.
âDonât worry, my lawyer drafted a pretty good prenup.â
You opened your mouth to speak, but then he was tracing the contour of your ass with his palm, and you cut yourself short. Bucky carried on, careless as ever.
âBut the kids you mentioned,â he said, âHow are we supposed to get those?â
You pursed your lips and tried hard not to move when his fingers drifted inwardâyou wouldnât give him the satisfaction of seeing you squirm. The bottom of your dress was bunched around your hips now, leaving you sorely exposed. Had your bridesmaids not thrust that stupid white lingerie set upon you hours before the wedding, you probably wouldâve chosen something a little more modest than a thong. But here you were.
At least the sight seemed appealing to your husband, whose eyes hadnât left you once while his hands grew even hungrier to feel your warmth.
âIâm hoping a sperm donor or one of your double-crossing mobster friends will knock me up, honestly,â you said, feigning enthusiasm at the thought.
A tart slap delivered to your ass told you that Bucky hadnât found that funny. After, he started kneading the skin a bit harder.
âNo shot,â he shook his head, suddenly gliding his fingers down closer to your core and waiting for you to say something in protest, âOnly one thatâs gonna be pumping this thing full of babies is me, I promise.â
It was like he wanted your retaliation, whether that be by a thinly veiled look of disgust or a reactionary jab of your own. You werenât keen on fulfilling any wish of his, but at this point, you felt you had no other choice. When you sensed he was distracted by the newly-discovered heat between your legs and had loosened his grip on your wrists, you flipped yourself over on the bed. Shoved at his chest before he knew what to do with himself.
Of course, the push didnât send him far, but it was enough to get his attentionâand his hands off of you.
âIâm not having your babies, Barnes! I am never going to fuck you, no matter how long we stay fake married,â you spat.
At that, Bucky just raised his eyebrows and wet his lips. You were cramming your wedding dress back into place, glaring at him the whole time, and were scarcely more aware of the bright, teeming city outside the window than you were of your husbandâs own growing erection.
Finally, youâd said it. His new wife wouldnât fuck him. The sound of your resistance was almost a pleasure unto itself, and the longer you stared at Bucky with growing contempt and resolve not to do that thing, the more determined he became to make it happen.
Cat-and-mouse games had long been a staple in his life, and he was pleased to see them carry into his marriage as well. Surely if heâd triumphed in every pursuit for the last twenty yearsâfacing the likes of some seriously execrable bandits and racketeersâhe could take on a bratty woman less than half his size. You said you didnât want his babies now, but just wait until heâd fucked you full of his cum once or twice. Youâd be begging him for it in no time at all, and shortly thereafter, heâd have you barefoot and pregnant as many times as he liked. Always swollen with one of his children and whining for more.
The woman before him now had a murderous glint in her eyes, but he could fuck that away easy. In fact, he would live to do it. He traced the outline of your thigh over your dress and smiled when you tried not to recoil.
âSurely you didnât think weâd be finger-painting and reading poetry to each other on our wedding night, hm?â he asked, almost delicately.
âThought you might have one of your other women lined up,â you snorted. When you tried to move away, Bucky pinched your leg to make you stay. You winced.
âThatâs not funny,â he said, a little more consternation in his tone. Like he actually cared whether you thought him a profligate Lothario or not, âNow that weâre married, itâs only you and me. No mistresses, nothing.â
Yeah, and he was just as likely arriving to your marital bed a blushing virgin. You rolled onto your side and pretended not to feel him tighten his grip as you did.
âTry the carnal part of our marriage yourself and Iâm sure youâll find Iâm an exceptional fuck,â Bucky continued, speaking low as he stroked the chiffon of your dress.
You didnât doubt the man was goodâcertainly the extent of his sexual escapades as a twenty-something seemed to demand itâbut exceptional? No fucking way. You knew men like Bucky, with the world and every walking pair of tits at their fingertips, and almost all were incurably selfish. Cocky. The kind to jackhammer a woman for three consecutive minutes, roll over, and say, âDid you cum?â
No, there was not a snowballâs chance in hell your husbandâs sexual prowess was even half as good as he claimed it was. Deciding to bite your tongue for the first time that night, though, you just stared at him blankly.
What you didnât know was that your silence only stoked the flames of his ego, prompting him to press the matter further.
âWhat? You think I canât fuck?â he said, âAny woman lucky enough to bed me has cum at least twice. Every time.â
Sure they did, Bucky, you wanted to say, but were suddenly drawn into his lap before you could speak.
âBut letâs pretend I canât,â he said, heedless of the face you made as soon as you were straddling his hips, âYou wouldnât let your husband prove himself tonight?â
âI donât fuck strangers.â
Bucky smiled at that.
âEveryoneâs a stranger until you get to blow them, honey,â he teased, squeezing your hips when you didnât seem amused at all. Then you let out a cry, feeling yourself thrown back on the mattress like a rag doll while Bucky moved off.
Before you knew it, he was tugging your ankles down the length of the bed and widening his stance just a bit. He stopped pulling once your knees were grazing his black dress pants and your feet were dangling off of the bed.
âYou like skylines?â he asked.
You frowned and raised a brow that he was quick to interpret as a âyes.â He hauled you onto your feet.
ââCourse you do. All pretty girls like pretty skies,â he rattled on, strolling with you step-by-step to the set of French doors at the end of the room.
Bucky led you out to the balcony. The air was warm as it ever was, dull gusts of the evening wind curling up from the coastline below. Just as your husband had promised, the skyline of Santorini greeted you on either side, and you had to admit, it was more than just pretty. The views from your villa were absolutely breathtaking.
You stood with your back to Bucky, hands resting on the marble balustrade, and you felt him there, behind you. You didnât bother to tilt your head when he drew even closer.
âWhat do you like most about it?â The question was simple enough, punctuated with a kiss on your shoulder. Your eyes scanned the horizon, the sea, even the quiet little streets down beneath, and you racked your brain trying to think of an answer that might satisfy him.
Before you could, though, you sucked in a breath when you felt your dress start to come undone at your back.
Bucky was unzipping your gown, gentle as ever, and probably grinning from ear to ear as he watched you shift uncomfortably in place and try to hold the material above your breasts where it had been fastened all day. Presently, you kicked your heel backward and hoped it would land somewhere near his balls. You missed.
âJames,â you hissed.
Bucky groaned at the sheer intonation of his name on your lips.
âYes, dear?â
âWhy are you undressing me?â
Bucky had successfully dragged the zipper all the way down to your ass, and it seemed he was trying to shimmy the dress off your frame. You held on tight.
âIâd like to fuck my bride over the balcony railing, if thatâs alright with you,â he answered truthfully.
The man was nothing if not blunt and crass. You turned around to give him a look, yanking your gown even closer to your chest.
âIâllâ Iâll tell my mother, Barnes.â
You felt stupid as soon as youâd said itâusing your go-to threat whenever you were in distress. What were you, eleven?
âYour mother?â Bucky repeated, words steeped in derision, âLast I recall, mommy dearest was practically begging me to get you pregnant at the reception.â
Your jaw clenched, and you internally cursed your whole family. Your parents were supposed to be on your side throughout all of thisâit was bad enough theyâd pawned you off to a mob boss of unrivaled infamy all to settle a debt, but this? Your mother had assured you just the day before that Mr. Barnes was bound to tire of you within the year. No mention of sex or babies whatsoever.
The same mother who had beat you over the head with the notion of your own virginity since you were old enough to read, the one who had underscored just how important it was to wait for the right man to give yourself body, mind, and soul to, turning around and telling this filthy criminal to have you any way he liked. And knock you up? The fucking nerve of that woman.
You were so preoccupied with thoughts of your own backstabbing family that you hardly felt Bucky drag your dress the rest of the way down your body. It was only when you were completely bare before him, and your husband had just started to skim his lips over your tummy that you tensed with surprise.
âI donât have to fuck you just yet, doll,â he murmured, having sunk to his knees and only moving lower. Then the corners of his lips twitched, âLeast not with my dick.â
You tried to pry his head from between your legs before he could stretch his tongue so much as an inch.
âJames!â
Again with that name.
âYou know, I love when you call me that, Mrs. Barnes.â
Bucky was peering up at you now, soaking in the sight of your body in a white lace bra, panties, and stockings.
âIs my bride feeling shy?â he teased, gently nipping at your inner thighs.
You werenât sure what you were feeling in that moment, to be honest. Revulsion, betrayal, arousal, you name itâeach crowned with an all-encompassing hatred for the man currently occupying the space between your legsâwhile a still stronger desire almost hoped he would stay.
âYou can hate your husband all you want and still let him tonguefuck you,â Bucky growled against your skin.
Like heâd read your mind.
In reality, your husband hardly needed the powers of telepathy to tell him just how turned on you were; the sopping wet spot in your panties said as much. From his vantage point, Bucky saw the disgust in your eyes slowly eclipsed by lust, and with a single flick of his tongue, he knew he would have you exactly where he wanted you.
âJust let it happen, honey.â
He felt your fingers thread tight through his hair and the first stir of your hips in tandem. One small, delectable whimper crossed your lips, and it took everything in Bucky not to tear your panties straight off with his teeth.
Instead, the man opted for a soft, gentle lick over your clothed slit. Testing the waters.
Your whimper was quick to meld to a moan, and then, just as fast:
âN-no, Bucky.â
To your dismay, his tongue didnât retreat, only making firmer laps against your centre while his lips grazed the lace. He gripped your thighs and wedged himself deeper, and again, you cursed the paper thin fabric of your panties for letting you feel everything his mouth was doing. He hadnât even made proper contact with your cunt, and your knees were already starting to shake.
He pressed a kiss above your clit through the flimsy material, and you almost tore a clump of hair from his head.
âNo. Please.â You hardly made sense to yourself; it was clear you wanted his touch, but something inside you wasnât quite ready to submit to the idea that this was all okay. That your husbandâs tongue and lips might be meant for something like this, and you didnât have to feel so guilty for wanting it either. Fucking purity culture.
âMy pretty girl,â Bucky presently murmured above the fabric, words sending a dozen little shockwaves in their wake, âMy beautiful fucking wife.â
The man inhaled your scent and couldâve sworn he was in ecstasy. Blinded by desire as he was, he really wasnât bullshitting in the slightest when he gathered you to him and said you were the best; heâd genuinely grown transfixed by the feel of you, in spite of every fibre of his being telling him not to. The marriage was arranged, fake, and fueled by hatredâand somehow, Bucky couldnât get enough.
Nor could he wait any longer. One light swipe of his finger tugged your panties aside, and then he was latching on, no cover this time, to take your clit between his lips. Sucking hard, going fast, needing it bad.
A moan rang loud in his ears, and your hand on his head was instantly joined by the other. You yanked his hair like you never had before, pulling so tight at the roots as though your pleasure depended on it. Bucky smiled around the soft pearl in his mouth and flicked it gently with the tip of his tongue.
âFeel good, baby?â he breathed.
His head tilted up to you, and he could see you were struggling just to breathe, face painted with a medley of emotions.
You didnât know if you could, or should, be feeling this good from a man so evil. Bucky flattened his tongue and licked a long stripe up your pussy to ensure that you would. Then he posed the question again, smirking.
âYou like my tongue on this wet, needy cunt?â
His words were so damn obscene, but you nodded anyway. Feeling small and powerless beneath those big, broad hands as they pinned you back on the marble and spread you even wider for the taking.
He loved how innocent and lewd you looked at once, wincing with pleasure and still trying to keep your composure like you thought a good girl should.
Bucky wanted to break that resolve. He brought one hand closer to your entrance.
And, just as your breaths were starting to hitch and grow more ragged in your chest, he pushed two fingers inside. The act surprised your husband almost as much as it did youânot quite, but almostâupon feeling how tight you were, how resistant to even two digits you seemed to be. He hardly knew whether to shove them deeper or pull them out, so fast did your muscles contract around him.
When you whined a loud, protracted, âFUCK!â he figured he would stick with the former. He grinned, having never heard you speak, much less swear, out of pleasure like this.
Your head lolled back and your body made an arch when his fingers curled inside you. You were panting, moaning, coating his hand with your juices, and Bucky knew you were close.
He started pumping his fingers in and out while his tongue worked your clit, chin practically doused in your arousal by now. A swell of pride rose within him: he could finally bring you home to that sweet release, have you a shaking, soaking mess above his face like you were wholly his and no one elseâs. He moved his tongue even faster and sank his fingers straight down to the knuckle.
Then, unexpectedly, both were robbed of your touch.
Seized with fear, you shoved Bucky off and stumbled away from his glistening face. You took off toward the doors and fled the balcony before you could think.
âWhat the fâ honey? Honey?!â Bucky sputtered. He bounded after you.
Youâd thrown yourself in the master bathroom and locked the door behind you in the blink of an eye. Outside, your husband had only to stare in pure bewilderment and awe, mind reeling at what had just happened.
Fucking hell, he knows. He knows! You collapsed against the door and slid down a couple inches. Your hand reflexively flew to your mouth to stifle the sounds when Bucky began pounding the wood behind you.
âBaby, whatâs wrong? Whatâsâwhatâs goinâ on?â
In truth, youâd rather chug bleach than divulge the thought that had just scared the everliving fuck out of you back there. It was stupid and senseless and shouldâve been frightening you for weeks before it ever came to this, but here you were, panicked in the bathroom of your honeymoon suite because youâd never done this beforeâand youâd never reached climax in your life without bursting into tears.
Fuck, you felt stupid. How could you think this would be any differentâor that Buckyâs tongue wouldnât eventually attempt to wrest an orgasm out of you?
Itâd just felt so good, you thought maybe a new climax brought by someone elseâs fingers might free you from the same unsavory demise youâd met a hundred times before, but then it hit you, shortly after Bucky had plunged his fingers inside, you were going to cry.
You winced when Buckyâs knocks grew louder, his voice gaining more ire by the second, it seemed.
âOpen the fucking door!â
Heâd rake you over the coals for this. Getting so close to what he wanted, only to have his silly little bride snatch it all away and run hiding in the en-suite bathroom? Your stomach turned at the thought of what men in the mob were liable to do with women like youâwhat Bucky might conceivably do now that youâd sparked his rage.
Your eyes darted to the window just as his fist shook the doorframe behind you. You ran over to the tub, tucked squarely beneath the windowsill, and climbed onto it just to get a hold of the fastenings around the glass.
One click synchronized with the furious cadence being hammered on the door, and just as you started to slide the pane up the way, a heavy thud sounded outside. The weight of your husbandâs body being thrust against the door, most likely.
You bit your lip and lifted one leg over the windowsill, shuffling your body even closer to the outside world.
Three floors up! Have you lost your mind? You could hear your fatherâs words ringing in your skull already. There was a ledge, you reasoned, no more than ten feet below, if you could just grab hold of the frame right there and slide down the cool stone you mightâ
âFuck,â Bucky groaned.
You watched your husband heave through the busted door of the bathroom, wide eyes and a âHereâs Johnnyâ flourish raging hot on his face. Your heart leapt to your throat, and you started to lower yourself out of the window, hoping desperately for that ledge below to be sturdy. But before you could make it even half of the way there, strong arms were circling your frame and yanking you back inside, hurtling straight into the bathtub with Bucky tumbling over you.
âWhat are you doing?!â he roared.
You wriggled under his weight, petrified of the fiery look in his eyes as he lurched over your frame.
He straightened up just enough to shake you by the shouldersâlike a parent reprimanding a child.
âWhat the fuck was that?! Huh? You think thatâs fucking funny, jumping out windows?â
No, no, not funny, you wanted to bite back, but found your mouth dry and unable to speak. When Bucky shook you again, you had only to whimper a pathetic sound.
The man was enraged. Stubble still damp with your juices and looking undeniably frazzled and spent, he drew closer to your face and demanded you look at him. When he took hold of your cheeks in both hands, the command couldnât have reached you any more clearly.
âWhatâ what was that for?â his voice lowered as he tried to catch his breath. You still couldnât move.
âI-I donâtââ you stopped and hardly knew how to say it:
Sorry to cut our tonguefucking session short, I was just afraid I might burst into a fit of uncontrollable tears while you licked and sucked me through the best orgasm of my life. Iâd rather jump off, or out of, a building than tell my mob boss husband that I canât cum without crying. By the way, Iâm a virgin!
Instead, you just blinked and stared back at him.
âCanâtâŠdo it,â you murmured.
Buckyâs expression only grew more puzzled by the words out of your mouth. He squeezed your face tighter and leaned in even closer.
âDo what? Sex? Fuck, Iâ I didnât mean to be that aggressive, hell, Iâm sorry.â He stopped to run a hand through his hair, and for the first time, you couldâve sworn you saw the first glint of compunction in his eyes.
He looked away a few seconds, as if collecting what fragmented thoughts he could, then brought his head back down to your level and took your hands in his.
âHoney?â he tried getting your attention, just barely above a whisper now, âI know the whole thingâs fucked, I know.â
That was the understatement of the century. To your surprise, Buckyâs gaze softened when he saw a scowl cross your face.
âWe donâtâŠhave to do anything. I was just pushing your buttons earlier. Being a dick.â
His tongue moved to wet his lips once more, this time without the seductive, smug demeanor he usually wore and simply exhibiting discomfort. He swallowed. The bow tie around his neck appeared to him to be fastened far too tight all of a sudden, and then, haphazardly, he started clawing at the garment to get it off.
You didnât know why you felt compelled to help. It was like all ten fingers just lifted of their own accord to join Buckyâs hands in trying to undo his tie.
The silk fabric wasnât tied, but knotted, crudely and inflexibly, beneath the little black bow. You frowned. Still unable to meet his gaze as you worked your fingers under the tangled material and tried to pretend like the two of you werenât still sweating profusely from the events that had just transpiredâboth the tonguefucking and the window-jumping.
âWho tied this, a five-year-old?â you muttered.
âIâm thirty-eight, thanks,â Bucky returned just as quietly.
Both of you indulged in a smile that lasted no longer than a second, but you felt the tension ease a little.
This was not where you thought your dreaded wedding night was headed before. Curled up in a bathtub with your hands around your husbandâs neckâand not actually trying to kill himâwhile Bucky blinked almost nervously the longer your hands lingered on his collar. It seemed heâd found something especially tantalizing on the wall behind your head, because his stare remained fixed on that spot the whole time you fiddled with his tie.
Maybe that, along with the last ebb of alcoholic influence from the reception still coursing through your veins, had emboldened you to come right out and say it while Bucky was looking away. You couldnât be sure.
âIâve never had sex before.â
At last, the tie loosened a little.
Bucky flicked his gaze back to yours in a second.
âWhat?â
You lifted a brow, wondering if he really needed an explanation as to what it meant to have never gotten laid before, but you decided against indulging him any further. Bucky seemed keen on doing that all by himself.
âYouâre a virgin?â
You nodded.
âDidnât my overbearing mother make sure you knew?â
âYeah, I thought she was full of shit,â Bucky answered bluntly. Then, catching sight of the semi-offended look in your eye, mixed with a tad more amusement than indignation, he added, âI meanâ I didnât think youâd, uh, wanna waitâŠtwenty-five years for some action.â
He winced when he realized that sounded just as bad. His throat cleared shortly to make way for a new attempt at comity, but you cut him off, shaking your head as you finally got the knot to untangle.
âNo, I get it. I donât know why I waited this long either,â you shrugged.
As soon as youâd freed him from his bow tie, you started to stand from the bath tub. Bucky, too, straightened to his full height and started to close the window while you walked back to the bedroom.
You eyed the rose petals strewn across the duvet and felt a little more relaxed this time around. The weight of the V-word had been lifted from your shoulders, and now you had only to share the crying-while-cumming stuff to Bucky later on. Much later on, you hoped.
You crawled onto the bed and stretched out on your belly, playing with the soft red petals and wondering if room service was still offered at this hour.
Bucky had just stepped out of the bathroom when he halted at the threshold. Saw your body sprawled out on the bed, back arched and ass pointed in the air as you reached over for the phone on the nightstand. He stared for a second too long and felt a familiar stir in his pants.
Sonovabitch, he started to think, before chiding himself silently, Shut up, man, sheâs a virgin. Be cool. Be coolâdonât make her jump out a window again.
He ducked back in the bathroom and eased the door to just a crack while you discovered a voice on the line:
âHi! Hey, Iâd like to order room service to, uhâŠâ your voice trailed off. Then, covering the mouthpiece, âJames, whatâs our room number?â
Inside the bathroom, Bucky squeezed his eyes shut at the sound of his name. Already palming his erection through his dress pants as he leaned against the wall.
âWe rented the whole building, dear,â he called back.
âOh.â He could just imagine the slight pout on your lips as you spoke. Then you asked if he wanted anything to eat, Bucky thought only of the sweet nectar between your legs, and he answered aloud, no, he was fine, really.
For the first time in his life, the man felt positively ashamed he was about to rub one out in a bathroom, alone. It wasnât like this was the first it had ever been done, but now there was you, innocent and oblivious in the next room over, while Bucky undid his belt and quietly freed his cock from his dress pants. It felt kind of perverted, in a way, but he knew he needed this release to put his mind at ease and not feel so affected by you.
While you scanned your phone for a menu and chatted with the concierge downstairs about various food items, Bucky was spitting in his hand and fumbling for his shaft. You talked American Wagyu sirloin, lobster thermidor, and seared Faroe Island salmon while he thought achingly about the way your cunt had tasted and how badly he wanted to try it again.
How did he feel about an artisan cheese platter? Bucky hardly had the wits about himself to answer beyond a strangled, âWhatever you want, honeyâ and a tightened fist around his cock, stroking hard to get the filthy thoughts out of his head before the food arrived.
Ever sweet, soft, supple, and savoryâhis mind reeled with fresh memories of that place between your thighs, and he almost lurched forward in pleasure.
Your brute of a mob boss husband was irreparably pussy-whipped and hadnât even fucked you yet. He gripped the bathroom sink beside him and sincerely wished it wasnât his hand doing the work right now. But of course, he had to be patient, had to be kindâcouldnât force himself on a woman who clearly wasnât ready.
Again, he spit in his palm and jerked himself fast.
Any minute now, he thought with some relief.
Your feet padded softly into the living room as the pleasure inside him was starting to crest. Still pining for your warmth and the way your legs trembled around his head, Bucky was all but fucking his hand at this point. Heâd snagged his bottom lip between his teeth in a lopsided smile and groaned, too low to be heard, and pumped himself even faster for his impending orgasm.
A thought crossed your mind as you stopped ahead of the sofa. You pivoted.
Suddenly, you were skipping back to the bathroom, wanting to know Buckyâs wine preferences before you placed another order.
You barged in and froze.
âSorry!â you squeaked, darting out just as fast.
Five seconds slower and you probably wouldâve seen Bucky blow his load all over the sink. As it was, the man was left sorely at a loss for any form of release and heaving fast, ragged breaths from the colossal scare youâd just given him.
Good fucking going, Buckâyour wife wants to cuddle and eat cheese and youâre out here beating your meat.
Bucky shoved himself back in his pants and waited an excruciating minute for the sound of your second window exit of the night. A slammed door, a frantic phone call, a few sobs into your pillow as you realized how dirty and depraved your husband was, anything.
He was only met with silence.
Taking one more shaky breath, Bucky reached for the doorknob and started back out. Cautiously.
The man took his slow, silent leave of the bathroom with his gaze trained toward the doorsâhalf-expecting to see his bride rappelling from the balconyâbut then quickly shifted to the bed. Finding you kneeling at the edge.
âJames?â
Your voice almost pained.
A word was all it took. Bucky was back on his knees.
âIâm sorry. I just wanted it to go away, honey. Iâm sorry.â
Go away? You quirked a brow and couldnât hold his gaze much longer; just trailed your vision down his torso to his pants, then his erection, still standing prominent as ever.
Bucky struggled to decide whether you were ticked off or intrigued, seeing your eyes make their painful appraisal of his length beneath his pants. Your brow was pinched, but your head was cocked. Almost curious.
âAre you mad at me?â you asked, gaze fixed on the spot.
Immediately, Bucky rose to his feet and crawled back on the bed, seizing your body with both of his hands.
âNo! No, not mad at all,â he mumbled as he sidled up beside you. Pleased to see you hadnât recoiled, âI was just, uhâŠmissing you, âsâall.â
If his men could see him now, Bucky was sure heâd be the laughing stock of all the town. Doting and kind, eyes softened beyond recognition, he just watched you and wanted nothing more than to repair the smile that had ebbed from your face. Come ridicule, hell, or high water, the man was infatuated with his brideâall broken plates and attempted window escapes be damned.
Presently, you brought your hand down to his bulge.
Bucky stiffened but didnât speak. He wanted you to do this on your own, of your own volition.
âYou seem kinda mad to me.â You hardly knew what you were doing. Just rubbing his length and hoping it was something heâd like.
Where Bucky had wanted to see you smile, you just wanted to hear him grunt and whineâmaybe grab your hips and beg you to do something, please. Youâd never felt any such degree of control, and you suspected Bucky had never not felt it himself. You wanted him desperate.
You were playing a dangerous game, you knew it, but something inside those baby blues said he wanted to do it, too. Do anything for you, quite frankly.
You watched the rise and fall of Buckyâs broad chest and stroked his length even softer.
âJames.â
âUh-huh?â His mouth hung open with a gentle grunt, fighting every instinct to buck into your touch.
At last, you squeezed his shaft and prodded him on. Let your head drift closer to his so his lips would graze the apple of your cheek, and just when you sensed he wanted a taste, you tilted your face toward his own,
âWe havenât even kissed since the ceremony.â
Bucky stared blankly at you, enrapt with the pulse of your fingers. You could tell he was aching to move.
âOh yeah?â he murmured.
You nodded a wordless affirmation and slid sharply back in bed as Bucky lunged after you. Your hands flew from his pants to the plush mattress behind you as you shiftedâor, rather, scrambledâback in place and felt your husband climb over you hungrily.
âThat what my wife wants?â he murmured, frame slotting tight between your legs.
You nodded again, and had only to suck in a breath before Bucky was devouring your lips. The kind of flushed, frantic, filthy kiss that wouldâve doubtlessly wrought looks of horror on every face at your wedding had he grabbed you that way after the declarations of âI doâ had been spoken.
You loved him like this, impassioned and a bit unhinged.
His tongue worked his way past your lips and scoured every soft, fleshy inch between the insides of your cheeks before he took your face in his hands, kissing you roughly.
Something hard and throbbing nudged your sex, and suddenly you were whining in his mouth. Wrapping your legs around his waist.
âAh, honey, donât,â Bucky groaned, visibly straining to contain himself. When you dug your heels even deeper in his back, the groan that followed from him was hoarse and guttural.
âI thoughtâ IâŠfuck,â your husband turned his head to curse as you grinded your hips up to his. You had to bite back a smile.
âI just wanna do what married people do,â you murmured coyly, pretending not to see when Bucky shot you the most red-hot, wanton look heâd imparted all evening.
âYeah?â Like a kid in a candy shop the size of Sears.
Bucky took your face in his hands once more and made sure to scan your expression for any shred of doubt. On finding nothing there, he sat panting, half-disbelieving and half-contemplating all the wretched things he wanted to do to you. You squeezed his sides with your thighs and just hoped your husband knew what to do, because, in truth, you didnât have the first fucking idea.
A few dry, clinical terms flashed before your mindâs eye, along with your motherâs bleak depiction of what treatment lay in store for a woman on her wedding night, and as Bucky started to work his belt and his pants off, you just hoped he wouldnât be cruel.
He couldnât be, right? Heâd only mowed down a hundred men and dismembered dozens more, you were told, but surely a set of eyes this soft, caring, and kind couldnât belong to a monster. You let him lift your hips and shimmy your panties, garter belt, and stockings down your legs, and when he returned, you tried your best not to betray the thoughts in your head.
Bucky hadnât been with a virgin for as long as he could rememberâmaybe ever. His own âdefloweringâ an ancient relic of his boyhood and the multitude of partners since then a mere flurry of nameless faces, he sincerely couldnât recall a time when heâd asked, or cared, whether the woman beneath him had her cherry intact. He didnât suppose it could be too different, as he peeled the last pieces of your lingerie set off your body and saw you seemed perfectly ready. He ran a finger between your folds and felt you shiver with what looked like excitement. Piece of cake, he thought, smiling.
No doubt he would take great joy in making you his own. His bride, his wife, an unblemished beacon of light in a life as sordid as his, looked perfect spread before him. You would adjust to his size. Bucky trailed the head of his cock up your slit and coated himself in your juices, and just when heâd bracketed his other arm around your head on the pillow, you let out a small sound.
âAre you sure itâll fit?â
Bucky fisted his length and pressed the tip to your entrance.
âUhâŠyeah. Yeah, I think so.â
He hadnât yet met a woman who wasnât able to fit him.
âOkay.â
Somehow, your voice sounded even smaller, head lodged between pillows and the crook of Buckyâs elbow. You felt small. Frankly, it didnât seem like your husband was quite computing the worries that were pervading your brain, but you decided he knew bestâyour mother had assured you that husbands always didâand when Bucky first pressed the head of himself to the seam of your cunt, you hardly even whimpered.
You watched his brow furrow above you. He tried to go further.
Your folds were as soaked as heâd ever seen a womanâs, your hole practically pulsing with desire, and somehow, he couldnât push in.
Bucky snagged his lip between his teeth and braced himself with the aid of the headboard, taking your hip in his other hand. A breath sounded on your lips the second he adjusted, and shortly thereafter, he felt your gaze on the same place he was watching: the spot where your bodies were trying to connect.
His features darkened at the prospect of failing, or even appearing incompetent to you in the slightest. Heâd done this hundreds of times before, why wouldnât it work?
When he felt your eyes trail back up his body and study his faceâmaybe wondering why her new groom hadnât gotten around to thrusting into her yet, he thoughtâhe felt a swell of panic and pushed.
Against his better judgment and the feel of your body, he muscled his way through and forced his cock inside. Bottoming out in a single, stabbing thrust.
You seized in pain but wanted to be a good wife for him.
Bucky, too, felt his hips stutter at the resistance your walls were giving him, but then remembered how heâd sworn to be a dutiful husband, and kept going.
Together, you stared anywhere but the otherâs face and gritted your teeth for two entirely different reasonsâyou, in agony, and Bucky, in ecstasy, the latter hoping with everything in him that you liked this as much as him.
Bucky took a tender, if not slightly awkward, rhythm rutting against your body and stared steady at the headboard like he always did.
You were in pain and faced with nothing but his hulking chest, moving up and down, back and forth, over and over again like a goddamn seesaw from hell while it felt like your insides were presently being torn to shreds.
Who fucking enjoys this? you wanted to wail, but feigned a moan instead, raking your nails down Buckyâs back, Why isnât he looking at me? Why isnât he touching me?
Your walls involuntarily clenched around him, and he swallowed a moan.
Just think of baseball, beer, math, the Roman Empire, anything to keep from busting right now, Bucky told himself as he clenched his jaw and fought to maintain his pace. Your pussy just felt so. fucking. good.
Beneath him, you had tried and failed to fight back tears. The burn was just too much; the longer he thrusted, the more your walls contracted, and confusingly, stupidly, it seemed like he was using you. Your mother was right, most likely, that sex was just a means to an end for men like Bucky, and your husband didnât care about your pleasure at all. You fought hard to keep the waterworks at bay, that one thing you hadnât wanted Bucky to see, but eventually, the tears were flowing freely.
You stifled a sob that your husband mistook for a moan.
He fucked you even faster and felt a grin start to twitch at the corners of his lips when you made a sound that seemed consistent with pleasure.
âFeel so fucking tight,â Bucky grunted, about to lower his gaze to your face for the first time since heâd entered you, âSo nice and tight and wâhey, hey, baby?â
He stilled inside as soon as he saw that you were crying. Took your face in his hands and almost couldnât believe the sight of your tear-stained cheeks beneath him.
âWhatâs wrong? What happened?â he asked, scanning your face for any signs of harm.
You just shook your head and tried to brush him off.
âKeep going, Iâm good.â
Bucky seemed angered at the suggestion. He brought your face closer to his and stared almost reproachfully down at you. Then he paused a beat and swiped one of your cheeks with the pad of his thumb.
âAm I hurting you?â he asked.
âNââ
âDonât lie.â
You squirmed a bit and winced. That was answer enough for Bucky, and he slowly pulled out of you.
âAw hell.â
The two of you glanced down to see a blooming red spot on the comforter. Bucky rubbed the blood in disbelief.
Heâd gone too far. Again. Hurt something inside of you that couldnât be fixed with a kiss. While you struggled to sit up among the pillows, Bucky was running a hand through his hair and cursing himself up and down.
âWhy didnât you say something?â he scowled.
âI didnât wanna interrupââ
âIf Iâm making you bleed, you stop me, for fuckâs sake.â
âWell you seemed to be having a pretty good time!â
Bucky didnât need to tell you in words what was painted on his face; he was pissed off and probably bound to slip off the bed any second, when your tears started welling up again. Then he eased off, remembering he was more mad at himself than anyone else, and slid closer to you. He tried pulling you into his chest, but you didnât budge.
âCâmon,â you said, grabbing his wrist, âLetâs keep going.â
Bucky eyed you incredulously.
âNuh-uh.â
âUh-huh,â you insisted. He shot you a glare but didnât protest when you guided his hand between your legs.
You were spread back open for him in no time. Still stinging like hell and ready for another go. Bucky almost couldnât believe it.
âMy headstrong wife.â He managed a smile before kissing the crown of your head, and kept right on kissing that spot no matter how far his fingers were traveling.
âYou owe me two orgasms, remember, Mr. Barnes?â
It seemed Buckyâs boastful claims of late were in fact the furthest thing from his mind as he crawled back over your body. He pried your knees apart and left just enough room for his frame, taking his fingers to your folds and rubbing in light, gentle circles.
The bleeding had stopped. What little remained was long forgotten, and duly, the pain from recent memory was slowly but surely purged with every flick of his thumb. Bucky planted an arm next to your head and kept touching you there until your face relaxed completely.
When he chanced a finger inside, he was careful not to rub so much as plunge in quick, shallow motions, and at the first signs of pleasure, press light and tender kisses on your skin.
âIf it hurts at all, you tell me.â
He sounded stern as he inserted another finger, but really, the man was all putty in your hands, wanting to please you and tease you in any way that he could.
When you told him faster, he sped up; you gripped his hair and said slow down, he did the same. He curled his digits in time with every whimper and moan you made and took care not to be too harsh on your sweet spot.
The only time he paused was when you looked up and asked him point-blank: could he fuck you sweet and gentle now?
Bucky paused. Swallowed.
The man wouldâve screwed you six ways to Sunday if you asked him; that wasnât the problem. The only traces of hesitation remained where your eyes said something different. Even as he shuffled between your legs at your behest, aligned his cock with your entrance, and felt a wave of desire wash over him, he pressed his forehead to yours and searched your glossy gaze once more.
âYou sure about this, bunny?â he murmured.
Your heart melted at the name. You couldnât deny you were frightened, and perhaps a bit worse for the wear after your last attempt, but his words were a comfort, his hand on your cheek a welcome gesture. When his thumb grazed your lips, you kissed it and nodded.
âAlright sweet girl,â Bucky said, tone laced with affection.
This time, before pressing the head of himself inside, Bucky caught your lips and kissed you softly. Rubbed himself up and down your slitâpaying extra attention to your clitâand coated himself completely before trying to penetrate you again.
Your cheeks flushed, and you kissed him harder.
âP-please, Bucky, fuck me,â you murmured against his mouth, eliciting a small grunt from him.
âYeah? You want your husbandâs cock inside you, doll?â He kept the pretense of teasing, but really, he was just trying to make sure you wanted this as badly as he did. By the blissed out look on your face and the soft, ceaseless squelching noises produced by your arousal, he got the message pretty quickly.
He breached your folds with just the tip at first. You both felt your muscles contract. Instead of blindly pushing ahead like he had before, Bucky trained his gaze on your face and watched for any signs of discomfort.
âEverything okay, bunny?â he hummed as he brushed a few strands of hair from your face.
You were half in awe of how attentive he was, and doubly impressed by the stretch that followedâlike a pinch, but nothing like the pain youâd felt before. You peered up at your husband and squeezed his shoulders.
âItâ it doesnât hurt this time,â you said, breathless.
Bucky couldâve caved at the sweet, innocent expression aloneâlike you were pleasantly surprised this hadnât caused excruciating painâand his lips moved down to pepper your cheeks with kisses again.
âDoll, Iâm so sorry.â
The sounds and sighs of your pleasure beneath him, along with the words telling him it was okay, really, he hadnât meant to do it, all made him feel even guiltier for having hurt you in the first place. It took him some time assailing your face with tiny, apologetic kisses before he even thought to feed you another inch.
When he finally plunged himself deeper, it wasnât without your express permission; even then, Bucky feared he might split you in two.
The whole time he eased himself inside, he was moving his gaze between your face and the place between your two bodiesâwatching you open for him and take him inch by inch. He rubbed his thumb over your clit when you whimpered.
âDoing so good for me.â
âStretching so nice for this cock.â
âMy beautiful, beautiful wife.â
Every syllable of his praises flooded your head like honey. Feeling him stretch you out, fill you up, and rock you softly with his first shallow thrusts, all while talking you through it, had your mind ablaze and near-euphoric.
Pleasure practically searing your veins, you didnât even hear yourself, or really mean to say it, as soon as you did.
âThis doesnât feel dirty at all.â
An epiphany to you and a puzzle to Bucky.
âWhatâsâat, honey?â He was still rutting his hips and slowly picking up speed. Your husband groaned when you clenched around him and pulled him even deeperâbefore you realized what youâd said.
Your cheeks flushed.
âIâ I was always told sex made you dirty. This feelsââ you stopped to swallow a moan when Bucky grazed a particularly sensitive spot inside you, âpretty nice.â
âPretty nice.â Your husband couldnât help the smile twitching at the corners of his lips as he leaned down to kiss you. He wrapped his big, muscly arms around you and pulled you closer to his chest.
âMakes you dirty?â Bucky said, disbelief evident in his tone before his smile broke into a grin, âBaby, youâre the cleanest, sweetest thing Iâve ever seen.â
He didnât let you endeavor to protest, just buried his face in your neck and pressed teasing kisses all over the skin while he continued to pump in and out of you. He knew to keep hitting that spot, too.
You were drowning in whimpers and kisses when Bucky brought his lips to your ear.
âDoesnât make you dirty at all,â he assured you, âJust makes you my wife.â
You clawed Buckyâs back when he sped up a little, and you felt the pleasure soar to even greater heights when he propped your legs above his shouldersâa brand new angle for him to bend you like a pretzel and fuck you good.
âYou take this cock too nice to be dirty,â he gritted his teeth and continued to soothe you just how he knew you liked it, âSuch a good little wife, sucking up every inch of me like you were made for it.â
Your lips parted in a soft âo,â feeling him plunge the depths of your cunt like he never had before. Bucky slipped his thumb in your mouth while he held your face.
âThat what you are, bunny? A good girl?â
You nodded your head and sucked his thumb, feeling yourself fucked dumb as you did. Bucky loved that blissed out look in your eyes.
âGood girl for daddy?â he cooed.
Your ankles trembled around his neck as soon as he said it. You nodded again, yes, you were, and felt a light coil start to form in your lower stomach as Bucky kept pounding you and pushing his thumb between your lips.
Then, with a pop, he plucked the digit from your mouth and brought it down to your clit. He started soft at first, but before long he was rubbing vicious circles on that little bundle of nerves, watching you come undone before his eyes and clench around him even tighter.
âB-Bucky,â you whined, fisting the sheets underneath you both as you squirmed.
âMhmm?â Your husband pretended to be oblivious.
âI wâ Iâm gonnaââ The words could scarcely leave your lips without finding themselves punctured with a whimper as soon as they were spoken. Bucky thrusted harder.
âGonna what? Cum for daddy?â he grinned, âMake a mess all over this cock?â
Your moans of pleasure more than sufficed for an answer. You nodded and winced, felt your whole lower half seize with a warm and heady feeling, and before you knew it, Buckyâs thrusts were sending you spiraling over the edge, with a wave of bliss following shortly behind. Sounds of skin slapping skin hardly faltered, and Bucky kept rubbing and fucking you all throughout the waves of your high.
Tears sprung to your eyes, and you didnât care. Your mind was alight with more bright, fervid feelings than you could count or comprehend, and your body washed over with pleasure.
You clung to Bucky and felt him keep fucking you, even as you shrieked against his skin.
âOne more for me, honey.â
You didnât think that was possible. You had just spilled all over him, squeezing his cock like a vice and screaming his name, and now he wanted it all over again? So soon?
Your fingernails sunk into his arms as he continued to rut into you, and you started to shake your head.
âC-Canât Bucky, I canât, I canât,â you sobbed, tears still streaming down your cheeks.
âSure you can.â
Your husband had his mouth at your ear again, panting as the pace of his thrusts grew faster. He tilted his body slightly forward so your legs were pushed even higher above youâdamn near grazing either side of your headâand pounded you relentlessly.
His voice seemed so calm and assured as he spoke,
âCum for daddy. Show me just how fucking good this cock makes you feel and cum again for me.â
With a command like that, how could you refuse?
You came a second time, hands seizing Bucky's forearms, and screams tearing through your chest as you rode your high impaled on his cock over and over again. The sights and sounds and repeated, pulsing spasms of your pussy on his shaft sent Bucky chasing his release not long after, and you felt a warmth spread inside you.
Your eyes were filled to the brim with tears, your cheeks practically drenched already. As you came down from your high, you started to blink.
But just as you lifted a hand to sop up the moisture, Bucky was leaning over you and into you with the brightest smile. Then he was kissing each wet, salty stain like it was the most natural thing in the world, sponging soft and gentle touches all over the spots your tears had overflown.
It seemed every nerve ending in your lower half was on the fritz, your body little more than mush underneath him, but somehow you managed to catch his mouth as he traversed the skin. You kissed him back, and Bucky drew you closer.
The two of you separated for a second, Buckyâs cock still resting comfortably inside you and his broad frame engulfing you in bed. He paused a beat. Seemed to consider something in his mind before speaking aloud.
âHoney,â he started, unsure of how he wanted to say this.
You peered up at him, curious. His seed had filled every contour and crevice of your aching walls and was just then starting to dribble out of you. Bucky seemed unfazed. He cupped both hands around your face.
âI love you.â
You blinked. No fucking way you were hearing those words.
âWhat?â You felt too awestruck to say anything else.
âI love you,â Bucky repeated. A smile was starting to tug at his lips, his thumb tracing your cheek while you stared at him in disbelief.
You wouldâve liked to speak.
Wouldâve loved to say those three little words right back.
In fact, you had just opened your mouth to tell him that, when a sound at the foot of the bed startled you both.
The warm glow of moonlight pouring in from the window panes was your only means to see it. But sight wasnât worth much at all when a man appeared and pressed the barrel of a gun to Buckyâs temple, letting out a chuckle.
Another man, clad head-to-toe in polished black tactical gear approached from the far end of the room. Bucky gritted his teeth but remained motionless, hearing that man cock his firearm as well. You were surrounded on either side of the bed. Your blood ran cold.
âSorry to interrupt the fun, Mr. Barnes,â the man on the left spoke so low and gruff he could scarcely be heard.
When Bucky started to stir, the man on the right raised his pistol as well. Curled his finger on the trigger.
âWe havenât even met your beautiful bride.â A set of cruel, glinting teeth turned in your direction. Suddenly, all eyes were trained on youâalong with a third handgun, pointed at your head, as another man approached.
âWedded bliss treating you well so far, Mrs. Barnes?â
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#marvel#mcu#mob bucky barnes#marvel smut#marvel x reader#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#mob!bucky#mob!bucky barnes#mob bucky#mafia!bucky#mafia bucky barnes
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thinking of ex-husband!sylus
ex-husband!sylus who was sickeningly generous during divorce proceedings. he had his lawyer agree to each one of your requests without batting any eye.
ex-husband!sylus who still remembers your anniversary. he sends over expensive gifts, tokens of his affection, hoping to win you back.
ex-husband!sylus who visits every month on his obnoxiously loud bike so the entire neighborhood knows that he's back.
ex-husband!sylus who brings along his pet crow, and then gets jealous when it cozies up with you.
ex-husband!sylus who has luke and kieran spy on you when you go out on dates.
ex-husband!sylus who acts like he doesnât know why your dates have been ruined by unforeseen misfortunes (he pays luke and kieran extra if they manage to sabotage the date).
ex-husband!sylus who sees red when you manage to bring a man home, despite all of his interferences.
ex-husband!sylus who still has a spare key and waits inside for you to get home with that pathetic date of yours.
ex-husband!sylus who pulls you into the filthiest kiss, tongue and all, in front of your poor date who watches with wide eyes.
ex-husband!sylus who knows you miss him when you go limp in his arms and respond to his kiss just as eagerly.
ex-husband!sylus who knows how desperately you try to push him away, and yet will always come back to him.
ex-husband!sylus who is so riled up that he has to take you right then and there, up against the front door.
âw-wait,â you gasp out, feeling his lips suck harsh marks against your neck as he hauls you up into his arms.
âi've waited long enough,â he hisses, bunching your dress up at your hips as he rips your pretty, lacy panties off. he can't believe you'd wear such cute panties for another man.
you scrabble at his shoulders, trying to stay stable with the way youâre held against the front door whilst your ex-husband fumbles with his belt.
sylus pushes his cock into you roughly, his head falling against your shoulder when he feels the dizzying wet heat of your cunt. heâs finally back home.
the front door shakes with every thrust he delivers to your poor pussy and you quake in his arms, his movements tearing loud moans and whines from your throat.
you find yourself kissing your ex-husband desperately, hands in his hair and legs locked around his waist.
it's messy, rough and your breath hitches when you see his shirt shift, exposing the necklace around his neck. your wedding rings hang from it.
sylus grins at you, gripping your cheeks to hold your head still.
âi love you,â he says gruffly, kissing you over and over again until you wail and kick your legs out at the force of your orgasm.
he groans, his grip on you faltering as he comes at the same time, thick cum spilling inside of you.
you feel yourself slide down the door, legs too weak to hold yourself up until sylus catches you by the waist and tugs you close to him.
itâs not hard to see the adoration in his eyes when he cleans you up and pulls you into bed.
he lands soft kisses against your cheek, presses his forehead against yours and whispers his vows from years ago.
there's tears staining your cheeks when he slides your wedding ring onto your finger again, pulling you into a tender kiss.
sylus promises himself heâll never let you go again, no matter what.Â
because he knows youâre his.Â
his precious darling.
#sylus smut#sylus#sylus x reader#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#lnd sylus#lnd smut#sylus qin#ex-husband!sylus#i want to marry him#this was purely self indulgent
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Sun Eats Moon
Dark!Gojo Satoru x reader
Word count: 9.1k
Part two: Earth Kills Moon
Part three: Moon Starves Sun
Synopsis: Your boss takes on Gojo Satoru as his newest client. Much to your relief, he doesn't seem to recognize you.
(Warnings: noncon, dubcon, rough sex, oral sex, bullying, harassment, one mention of choking, penetrative sex, afab!reader, coercion, forced relationships, implied baby trapping attempt, hint of pregnancy kink)
You wanted to quit the second you read the name.Â
You should have. It would have been so easy to hand in your two weeks, tell your boss that you just couldn't. Or maybe you could have convinced one of the other paralegals to take your place.Â
It's pathetic. Almost a decade had passed and you still felt yourself slink into the girl you once were, rolling under his thumb, utterly helpless. You should be better than that. You worked so hard to reach where you are now.Â
You were different now, you told yourself over and over again. You were older, smarter. Besides, it'd been a decade, would he even remember you?
It's Higuruma who notices your restless fingers. You shouldn't have underestimated him, despite how exhausted he looks, nothing goes past your boss. He asks about it when you two are seated in a beige room, waiting for the client.Â
"Is everything alright?"Â
You're still staring out the window. How high were you? 16 stories, maybe even higher. Resentment, you can feel it rise up your throat, build throughout your body. Of course, he has fancy cars, pretty buildings, and limitless money. Men like him will never know what it's like to have nothing. All men were born equal. What a fucking joke.Â
Higuruma shifts, and you jolt out of your thoughts. "Yes," you console, "apologies, I'm just tired."Â
The lawyer hums, and you're not sure if he believes you or not. Before he can say anything, the frosted doors open. The rest of the legal team comes in, sitting at the long table you and Higuruma inhabited.Â
He comes in last. He'd always had a liking for theatrics.Â
Not much had changed within a decade. He was taller, bigger. He'd switched out of his high school uniform, opting for something more business-friendly. He still made heads turn. Became the center of attention.Â
It's his smile that throws you. Sincere, real. Lingering on his face like extravagant jewelry. Hard not to notice.Â
You react better than you anticipated. You don't shake or tremble or cry when he passes you. You just squeeze your fists, bunching your skirt in your palm. It helps.Â
He sits down, right at the end, so everyone can see him. One foot elegantly crossed over the other. When he tilts his head, his soft white hair threatens to shift over brilliant blue eyes.Â
"Well, I'm sure you don't need me to explain why we're all here." A few chuckles resonate from the small group. "Let's just do our best and hope nothing gets too out of hand."
His eyes slide over to meet yours, and you steel yourself for his eyes to widen. For something wicked and cruel and nasty to sink into his face.Â
Nothing.Â
Gojo Satoru maintains that same smile. The blaring sun. Painfully innocent. His gaze lasts barely a second before moving to the next face, and the next, and the next.Â
"I look forward to working with all of you."Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
đ€
If you could describe Gojo Satoru in one word, it would be: celestial.Â
He's like a shining star. Brighter than the sun. Everywhere he went, he was bound to attract attention. Much like how the Earth is drawn towards the sun, people are drawn towards Gojo Satoru. It's the natural order.Â
But, if an insignificant planet resists the Sun's gravitational force, it'll get crushed. You learned this the hard way.Â
Gojo had always been in your class for years. The third year was no different. Despite the commonality, you two never talked to each other. You had no reason to. Until the vending machine gave you two cartons, and you suddenly remembered from an overheard conversation that Gojo liked chocolate milk too.Â
"Want it?" You hold it out to him during lunch break. He was in the middle of a boisterous conversation with his friend. They did intimidate you, but you had no reason to be scared. It's not like they were bullies.
Gojo's sunglasses dip down. He eyes what you're holding in your hand, before his gaze drifts back up to you.Â
"The machine gave me extra," you supply, "do you want it?"Â
"Oh, sure," he says after a moment. Your hands brush. "Thanks."Â
You nod, and then you walk back to the cafeteria. It was meaningless. A favor between acquaintances. He was helping you more than you helped him. You didn't want to carry chocolate milk around in your backpack. You forgot about the interaction within a few hours.Â
đ€
The meeting ends hours later. When you stumble home, it's barely evening but you can still feel the stress creeping through your legs and arms.Â
You go straight to your laptop. Fumbling through the keyboard, desperate, searching.Â
He's famous. Of course, he is. In his mid-twenties, but already a multi-millionaire. The head of an extremely elite family. Your eyes scan picture after picture after picture. Photos of him drinking with models in skimpy bikinis. Fancy cars. Huge houses. Private jets. Gojo Satoru: the man behind Gojo Co., Gojo Satoru and supermodel Menza hinted at relationship, Gojo Satoru, Gojo Satoru, Gojo Satoru, Gojo Satoru.Â
You pull away when it starts to burn, when the rage and sorrow become too much. He has everything. Everything he could want. He made you go through hell for months, and yet he never got punished for it. The universe rewards him with lavishness you'd never be able to touch.Â
It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fucking fair.Â
Through your blinds, the sun happily shines.Â
đ€
You don't notice it until it becomes painfully unbearing.
Gojo calls you by your name now (until that day you bet he didn't even know you existed). He's like a ghost, constantly appearing out of nowhere to sling an arm around your shoulder, eager to chase off any of your friends to talk to you about things that don't matter.
He constantly offers to walk you home (and then Gojo ignores your refusals and does it anyway). It stays like that for a few days, never bordering beyond friendliness. You think he's harmless. Maybe he just hasn't had someone genuinely do a nice favor for him. Besides, you're flattered by the attention. Even you can be swayed by the pull of Gojo Satoru. It feels nice to be wanted.Â
You reason it'll just be for another week. A week later, you two will be nothing but acquaintances, sometimes exchanging quick smiles during class.Â
It doesn't truly dawn on you as to what he's doing until he comes out and says it.Â
"What?" Because you must have misheard him.Â
"We should," he says, not even bothering to repeat himself, "I mean, we're practically dating already. Let's just make it official."Â
You stare at him. As always, he's utterly beautiful. The light of the setting sun makes his skin glow gold. Whenever he's walking you home is one of the rare times he removes those sunglasses. His eyes are like jewels, pretty things that you wish were yours.Â
You laugh. It's high and panicky because you still think he's joking. He doesn't laugh with you. You stop.Â
"Oh-oh, I'm sorry Gojo-I wasn't-I didn't think. I'm just not...interested in dating anyone right now. It's not you! I think-I think you're great, but it's just the wrong time, and school is getting so much busier and-" you keep rambling, coming up with excuse after excuse because you're convinced Gojo would cut you off with an awkward laugh, tell you it's fine.Â
He doesn't do either, letting your flounderings get more and more pathetic. His smile had dropped. You can't read his expression anymore.Â
Eventually, you grow quiet, standing with him in that silence. When that gets too much, you timidly tell him to have a goodnight and walk home. He doesn't follow, staying rooted to the sidewalk where you left him. You're not running away, you tell yourself over and over again. And yet, you can't help but feel relief as soon as you can't feel his eyes.Â
Don't resist the Sun. It'll crush you.Â
đ€
It was something minuscule.Â
Barely considered legal work. The case would most likely be finished in a couple of weeks. The defendant had nothing on Gojo Satoru, at least from what you and the other paralegals could see. You highly doubted it would even go to court. Higuruma always had a knack for bringing anyone to the table. Gojo would be let off from whatever he did without a hitch. No punishment. Just like always.Â
"Word of advice, don't think about what happens in the private sector,"Â Higuruma says, over whiskey.Â
The firm was celebrating another victory at a fancy bar. You were still stewing over the face of that young woman's face when the judge ruled in your client's favor. She looked heartbroken. You can still remember the sleazy smile your client had given her.Â
"It's a job," he says, "do it. Boost your resume, and get out."Â
He takes another dainty sip of his glass. Tonight, the circles underneath his eyes seem even darker. "You're a young kid. Do something else with your life."Â
When he offers to buy you a round, you accept. You think about that night sometimes, and you wonder if Higuruma wished someone else would have given him that advice when he was younger.Â
Do the job, and get out. Easier said than done. Especially when the job involved Gojo Satoru.Â
Associating with him was dangerous, you knew that firsthand, especially when he was interested in something you had. You'd left, but that wouldn't save you. The space of decades would not help.Â
Burn Gojo once, he won't forgive you. Burn Gojo twice? You don't think there's anyone alive who did that.Â
Over the coming days, you expect something from him. It's a nagging feeling in your stomach. The delayed response to a gunshot. Dread. You expect him to snap. Push. Break.Â
He never does. Gojo remains pliant, the same to you as he remains to your boss. There's no additional touching, no disgusting nicknames, no scathing looks. Nothing.Â
You don't get the confirmation until a week later, when Gojo stops you near the elevator.Â
"Higuruma's...assistant, right? Sorry, never got your name," he says, and you steel yourself because the two of you are alone and here it comes but if you yell loudly enough maybe-
"He asked for some paperwork, and I finally found it for him." Gojo hands you a stack of sheets with a cheery smile. "You won't mind giving that to him, will ya? Thanks!"Â
Just as quickly as he arrives, he leaves, shoes clicking down the hall as he goes. You can only stare at his rescinding back, the palpable feeling of relief nearly making your knees buckle.Â
The best news you could have possibly received. Gojo Satoru had completely forgotten about you.Â
When you got home later that evening, the rain was heavy, and the sun was nowhere to be seen.Â
đ€
You don't have proof it was him.Â
It's unjust to accuse people of things they didn't do. You lack any evidence. It could have easily started by itself. You'd always been meek and timid. People were bound to take advantage of that.Â
But the timing was just too perfect for it to not be caused by him.Â
In the weeks following the incident with Gojo, school went from tolerant to hell. It started small, at first. Tiny. Unoticable. Insignificant. Some people (Gojo's lackeys, you'd later realize), would nudge you as they passed you by the halls. They apologized, mid-laugh, and in the beginning, you truly thought they were sincere. Then, the nudges turned into pushes, then shoves. That's when you knew you had a target on your back.Â
At first, you found it kind of hard to believe. Bullying? It sounded so childish. Something reserved for petty middle schoolers. You were in your final year of high school. You were already an adult. You laughed it off, for a bit. Mostly because it was so ridiculous. Only when it starts becoming more severe, more apparent that you were his target, do you start taking things more seriously.
There was no proof, but everyone knew it was Gojo. And being on Gojo's bad side wasn't something people were willing to risk. One by one, your friends started to disappear, reducing their involvement by sending strained smiles during passing period. The more stubborn ones who were more adamant about staying by your side were chased away too. They'd skip school for a few days, before coming back and completely ignoring you.
Teachers and staff were no help either. Why would they? Gojo's family held them in the palm of their hand. The most your homeroom teacher would do was avert his eyes whenever something was thrown at you for the third time in class, and quietly remind students to settle down.Â
You fell on the ground with an embarrassing thump. A chorus of laughter, and a mocking 'sorry' is all you hear from the crowd. Other students step over your scattered papers, giving you looks of sympathy but never bothering to help. You'd call them cowards, but you know you'd do the same.
Instead, you focus on collecting your papers. You avoid the lump in your throat. The tears that threaten to break over your waterline. It's humiliating, being stuck on the floor like this. It's only Wednesday, but you already feel like breaking.
Hands, scarred, move past you, collecting the rest of the sheets. His face is carefully blank as Geto Suguru neatly tucks his share all in one piece before handing it to you. You give your thanks. He ignores it.Â
âAre you hurt?â Geto asks, his voice barely loud enough to hear.
You think you scrapped your knee during the fall, but other than your pride, you're fine. You shake your head. Geto sighs. It's not out of relief.
âThat's good,â he says anyway.
You found it ironic that Gojo's best friend is the only one who bothers to help you these days. It makes sense, in a way. It's not like he'll send his goons to Geto, instead. In this solar system, Geto Suguru is the only person unaffected by Gojo's solar flares.Â
You work in relative silence, collecting the mess that fell out of your bag. Geto hands you the last of the supplies, idly watching as you tuck them away.
âTake my advice,â he says just before he leaves, âgive in.â
He stands up. Geto Suguru has always been taller than you, but now the difference feels even worse. When he looks down at you, a flicker of pity lingers in his eyes. It's gone before it can mean anything.Â
âIt'll only get worse from here if you don't.â
Worse, he had said. God, what could be worse? You were already at rock bottom. All you have left is your dignity. Something you intend on gritting your teeth to keep.
You quickly learned something about Geto Suguru: he knew his best friend.Â
Friday. The end of the worst week of your life has finally arrived. The week after is break, and then maybe Gojo will move onto some other hyperfixation, and finally leave you alone.
Classes were out. You were done, free to run home and cry the entire week away. And then, you noticed, your locker was open.
Smashed in, was a better term. Completely, irrevocably, destroyed. It looked like someone had taken a wooden bat to repeatedly smash in the metal until it cracked open like an egg.Â
You don't want to look, but you have to. The busted door is barely hanging on its hinges when you push it open.Â
It's worse than anything you could think of.Â
Your books, textbooks, journals, are all torn apart and written on. All the contents of your bag have been thrown around. Your assignments, your notes, your pens and pencils. But it's your laptop that makes your throat stop. Smashed, broken without any hope of being salvageable. Your everything was in there. Why why why would he do this to you?Â
This wasn't bullying.Â
This was abuse.Â
Fuck pride. Fuck dignity.
You were so tired.Â
Despite the hell his lackeys put you through. Gojo Satoru himself never bothered you. In fact, you hadn't seen him all week. He doesn't make himself impossible to find. You know where his group hangs out after school. You're barely holding yourself together when you hear his voice. His pretty laugh. You don't care about how you look, close to breaking, your voice high-pitched and shaky.Â
"Why?"Â
Your voice catches his attention. He falls into silence, just like the rest of the group. Gojo surveys you for a moment. There's a scoff, a hint of amusement before he waves off the rest of the group.Â
"Get lost."Â
They comply, dispersing in multiple directions. For the first time, in a long while, you and Gojo are left alone. You and Gojo are left, alone.Â
"Well?" he tilts his head, completely bored.Â
"What do I have to do?" You ask desperately, "What-what do I have to do to make this all stop? Please I'll-I'll do anything, just-just make it-"Â
It's all too much. You can't hold your sobs in, bursting into tears as you fumble through your words. He tuts in mock pity. You flinch when you feel his hand against your cheek, but he doesn't let you shy away.Â
"Anything?" He asks when your sobs simmer into hushed whimpers, "Really? Anything?"Â
You blink, looking up at him with rough teary eyes. He's grinning, wide and manic. Your heart drops when he lowers himself to whisper in your ear.Â
"Anything, right?"Â
You nod once. He sighs in pure delight. His breath tickles your cheek.Â
"Get on your knees."Â
You jerk back, but Gojo doesn't let you go far, a hand on your shoulder, keeping you rooted on the spot. At your look of pure panic, he only laughs a little.Â
"I-I-Gojo you-"Â
"And call me Satoru now. Since we're gonna get to know each other a lot better," he interrupts with a chiding grin, ignoring your wide eyes. "What? I thought you said anything, right?"Â
He's asking, but it's clear you don't get a choice anymore. His grip on your shoulder is tight, close to crushing skin and bone. You're trapped. No, you were trapped the moment you talked to Gojo Satoru.Â
To think this all started because of two cartons of chocolate milk.Â
You relent when his grip gets too painful, sinking down to your knees. The grass is cool, and you know it will leave damp spots on your skirt, letting everyone know what you did for him.Â
"Good girl," he coos, and you shudder at his hand petting your hair. Like you're some precious pet. To him, maybe you are. How could anyone think of treating a human like this? You should be grateful he does it for you, instead of demanding you to pull him out. Still, the jiggle of his belt makes you wince. You turn away, not being able to bring yourself to look. Only when the tip of his cock reaches your peripheral, do you look back. It's big. You should have expected it, considering his height. It's already leaking, a bead of precum that makes you shudder. He moves forward and you instinctively grip his thigh.Â
"Gojo I-"Â
"Nuh-uh. Satoru," he ununciates, "Satoru. You gotta' start listening to me baby, or else we're gonna have problems."Â
You look down at the grass. Green, soft.Â
"Satoru."Â
His eyes flash in satisfaction.Â
"Open up, pretty girl."Â
The last of your fight disappears, sinks into the soft grass. You swallow, once, before you take him. It's a slow, torturous process. He's too big, your jaw is already starting to ache. Satoru barely notices your discomfort, sighing in contentment when you start to gag on his cock, reaching down to tuck a lock of hair behind your ear.Â
You make a muffled gurgle and he tilts his head down. His sunglasses fall forward, two pretty eyes stare at you.Â
"What? Don't act like this is your first time-" he stops himself, mid-thought.Â
"Wait...this can't be your first time, right?"Â
If you weren't humiliated enough. You can't even lie, averting your eyes to avoid any further shame.Â
"Poor baby," Satoru says, all too delighted, "lemme' walk you through it. Gotta' suck on it, just like a lollipop-that's it-use your tongue," he encourages, still gripping his cock in his hand, like he was feeding it to you.Â
You can feel your mouth open wider. Tears stream down your face, not just from your pride, but also from pain. Satoru lets you take him in like this for a few more moments, just enjoying your warm mouth.Â
"There we go," he breathes, "take-fuck-take all of me."Â
But Satoru isn't known for his patience. You've barely taken all of him in yet before he grabs your hair to fuck your throat properly. You choke, sputtering all over his cock. He barely pays you any mind, his head thrown back as he rams himself down your mouth without a care in the world.Â
"Y'know, our first time together could-could have been nicer," he says through gritted teeth, the heat was starting to get to him, "but you just had to go and mess it up, huh?"Â
If you were stronger. If you were braver. You would have rejected it. Screamed. Fought. At the very least, you would have denied his delusions. But you weren't strong. You weren't brave. You were weak. Stupid. This was all your fault. Had you just given in the moment he asked, this wouldn't be happening to you. Or maybe, he'd be a bit nicer about it.Â
He hisses, gripping the back of your head before something warm and disgusting fills your mouth. Above you, Satoru lets out a shameless groan, a mix of your name as well as a curse. He releases you then, finally letting you sink to the floor. You fall forward, resting on your hands and knees, panting, trying to regain your breath, some semblance of sanity. You can still taste him. It's salty, a sickly tang. You spit as much as you can on the grass. It doesn't help.Â
He kneels, getting down to your level. With the way he's silently watching you, you know he's waiting for the right answer this time.Â
Don't resist the Sun. It'll crush you.Â
So, you drop your gaze down. You take in a deep long stilted breath.Â
"Yes, Satoru," you say, voice quiet, pliant, "I'll go out with you."Â
His demeanor drops in just a second. He smiles, painfully innocent, like you hadn't spent the last few moments choking on his cock. He cups your face with both hands and you wonder how he could look at you like that, gently, as though you weren't covered in tears and his cum.Â
(You still feel it drip down your mouth. Tonight, when he finally lets you go home you'll cry for hours in the shower, hoping the water will wash away all the shame you feel. It won't.)
"Finally!" He exclaims, laughing, light, happy, elated, "I'm so glad you finally came around. I was starting to think I was ugly or something."Â
 You stay like that for a while. Underneath him. You let his hands run up and down your body, like he's feeling the space that makes up you. Soon, you'd realize Gojo Satoru liked to touch things that were beneath him. A thought muddles it's way through your numb brain. You bring yourself to look at him.Â
"Satoru?" you ask. He sighs in satisfaction, stroking your hair.Â
"My laptop...it's broken."Â
You didn't know what else to say. It sounded accusatory, even to your ears. Righteous. You wondered if he heard it too, if he'd do something about it.Â
Satoru only scoffs.
âthat old thing?â You flinch. It was a gift from your aunt, you highly doubted he cared enough about the sentimental. He hugs you closer, almost like a snake, constricting you within its scales before it devours you.Â
(You think the worst part is that he didn't even deny it.)
âI'll just get you a new one, baby.â
He walks you home later that evening. When he demands a kiss, you comply, numbly pressing your aching lips to his.Â
The sunset is pretty today.Â
đ€
It's not a particularly hard case, but Gojo has a knack for keeping those who work for him busy. Higuruma had asked you to stay behind, once again. The two of you were stuck alone in the office building, a room that Gojo had graciously supplied.Â
You were milling through a stack of papers when someone new walked in. You didn't recognize her. She was tall, pretty, sparkling jewelry littered her neck and wrists. Your eyes drifted up and down her outfit, something that definitely wasn't business-appropriate. A part of you wants to ask where she got that lipgloss from.Â
"Oh," she tilts her head, surveying the two of you with pretty eyes, "is Sato not here?"Â
You inwardly cringe at the nickname, but choose not to show it. Higuruma is the one who saves you, in the end. He speaks on both of your behalf.Â
"Mr. Gojo isn't here at the moment," he says, "feel free to wait."Â
She does as she's told, plopping down on a seat right next to her. Higuruma goes back to ignoring her, dutiful in everything like he always is. You, on the other hand, don't like the way some of the other associates eye her legs. When you wordlessly hand her your jacket, she gratefully accepts.Â
"Thanks. I love your bag, by the way," she cheerily says and a part of you feels bad for her.Â
Minutes pass. She crosses her legs and then uncrosses them. When she crosses them again, you have to look up from your paperwork and ask if she's feeling alright.Â
"Just nervous," she admits, "I-I haven't seen Sato since our...last meeting."Â
Everyone in the vicinity knows this wasn't a casual business meeting, you don't get why she's avoiding the elephant like that. Probably to save face. It's clear from her behavior that she wasn't expecting so many visitors, so perhaps this situation is new for her. You found it strange that a booty call would be called up to an office building, especially when people were clearly watching, but you doubted Mr. Gojo cared about that. He was always shameless in that regard, uncaring about anyone's reputation, even his own. That's why he's in this legal mess in the first place. Besides, you were part of Gojo's Satoru's legal team. Part of your job is to be discreet about his extracurricular affairs.Â
Gojo Satoru hadn't changed at all since high school. Why would he? His personality has gotten him this far, after all. The Sun would never change, it's a constant sphere of fire. You wouldn't want him to change. You were banking on his stagnant nature to slip by. You couldn't imagine if he did change, improve himself, and realize how horrible he'd been to you. How would you be able to keep yourself together if he pulled you aside one day and tried to apologize? You'd break. Things are better the way they are now. Let Gojo Satoru indulge himself in all this lavishness, forgetting about the people he's tortured. It's better this way.Â
You glance over at the girl. She's young, maybe a couple of years younger than you. You can see the flush on her cheeks. The clear swooning. A part of you wonders what she'd think about that man if you ever told her what he did to you. What a monster he is-
"There you are!" Mr. Gojo strides in, just as silent as always, making himself known when he wants to.Â
The girl jumps up, her eyes lighting up in pure excitement as she practically drags herself into Mr. Gojo's arms. He places an arm on the small of her back, scarily close to touching somewhere inappropriate as she chatters away. They disappear off to wherever rich men like him go.Â
It's so quick. You must have imagined it because, for a second, you were sure he'd glanced back at you.Â
đ€
By now, everyone knows you're Satoru's. That means, like him, you're untouchable.Â
You're not celestial. If Satoru was a star, then you were a stray meteor he'd found hurtling through space, and he couldn't resist forcing it to revolve around him. In exchange for suffering through his solar flares and radiation, he protects you from bigger planets that are all too eager to smash into you. The one relief is that no one seems to bother you anymore. You haven't been shoved around, pushed, or prodded. Sometimes, you receive glares from Satoru's old ex's, but it's more tolerable than burnt homework.Â
Satoru has officially chased away all your friends, but he's more than happy to keep you company. You sit next to him in lunch now, quietly listening as he prattles on to the rest of his friends (you recognize some of them, the ones who messed with you, they never seem to hold your gaze for long). You used to study on campus alone, right after school let out. Now, you still do it, but with Satoru watching. It's hard to concentrate with his wandering fingers and wet lips.Â
He takes all of your firsts. You don't give them to him, much less, he demanded it of you. The first time he fully takes you is far less romantic than you'd ever hoped. It was on his bed after he'd practically dragged you over to his house that night. You went home the next day covered in marks that took nearly a week to heal. A little while after that, Geto came to talk to you again. For the second time ever.Â
"Here." He offers you a packet. Pills. You're confused for a moment until you realize Satoru didn't wear a condom.Â
"Thank-"Â
"Don't," he cuts you off, "Don't thank me."Â
He says it with so much hate that you think it's directed at you. It isn't until years later that you realize the disgust was towards himself.Â
There are theories that the Moon once had color.Â
It wasn't just white. It was green and blue, and red. 70 million years ago, it could have been much like the Earth. It didn't have a strong atmosphere, however. The gaseous layer was slowly stripped away. The sun didn't help. With no atmosphere, the unfiltered solar radiation slowly began to bleach the once colorful celestial body a dull white. Before long, the sun had created the moon to be its image. Now, the only color the moon has to offer is the sun's reflection.Â
When the moon was out, you often stared at it, reveling in its beauty. Now, trapped in between Satoru's arms, you find its skeleton a bit too haunting to look at.Â
Three more weeks. Just three more weeks.Â
Graduation is coming up soon. You already had your college picked out, far far away from this backward town. From his conversations, Satoru was planning on going to some high-end college in Tokyo. With the way he kept looking back at you, you had a feeling he was planning on dragging you there too.Â
You were intelligent enough to keep your mouth shut about your plans. Satoru never asked, so you guessed he assumed you would let him bully you into whatever he wanted. He was right, so far. It's not like you'd ever argued with him.Â
Your parents were the only people who knew about your plan. They were excited, albeit for the wrong reasons.Â
"I'm so glad to see you're this interested in higher education," your mother beamed, "why the sudden change?"Â
You look at your mother's face. People have told you that you share the same smile. You wonder if she'd keep smiling if you ever told her about what Satoru's been doing to you, the bullying, the harassment.Â
You can't. You won't, because you can't bear to see her give you the same pitiful look your classmates give-the one Geto gives. You don't want her to see you as something broken.Â
"I'm just starting to think I might go into law," you finally say, "definitely need college for that."
On Thursdays, you have to sit inside the gym during Satoru's basketball practice. You wait on the bleachers, reviewing notes, and listening to the squeaking of sneakers. Satoru's good at the sport. You know last year they won a few tournaments. Whenever he scores a point, he gives a cheer, turning back to see if you saw it too. In those moments, you remember he's just a kid. He's your age. You can feel the envy. There, but too insignificant to do anything. He pleasantly lives his childhood, even after he stole yours.Â
Practice ends, always a little later than it's officially supposed to. Coach gives the final whistle and then Satoru is jogging back to you. Your things are already neatly packed into your bag. His breath is barely ragged, you can smell the hint of sweat as he kisses you on the lips. You can feel eyes on you, same as always. It's getting easier to ignore the gawking. After all, you're Satoru's now.Â
"Miss me?" he asks when he pulls away. He grabs your stuff before you can, hauling your backpack away. To others, it may look like he's being a sweet boyfriend. To you, it's another leash, tugging you to where he wants to go. You're not sure how Satoru sees the action.Â
You clamber out of the bleachers, following him without a word. Usually, Satoru would walk you home. You'd share a kiss with him on the front porch. And for the rest of the day, he'd finally leave you alone.Â
He grabs your hand, shooting you a wink when you lightly jostle into his body. Instead of heading out the door, Satoru turns his gaze towards the empty locker rooms. The light's automated. It flickers an unsettling white, casting a sick glow along the tiles. You are barely through the door before Satoru's pinning you against the lockers, kissing you as aggressively as he can.Â
Your hands immediately find their way to his shoulders, squeezing. It's not enough to hurt him, but it grabs his attention anyway. He lets up a little, relaxing into your touch.Â
"Sorry, baby," he says not sounding apologetic at all, "just be good f'me, okay? Need you."Â
He's pent up, you realize and you look at the door. School's out. The campus is nearly empty. But people are still around. And the door he just shoved you through doesn't have a lock-Â
Oh, wait. Would it even matter if someone came in and saw you? Everyone knew you were Satoru's.Â
Three more weeks. Just three more weeks.Â
He's trailing down, dropping to his knees. He flips up your skirt, pushing aside your panties, and attaches his hot mouth to your pussy. He's ravenous, today. Sucking on your clit like he can't bear to do anything else. You gasp, immediately assaulted by the shocks of pleasure running up and down your back.
You press against the wall, arching your back, giving him even more to suck on. He hums in approval, his voice getting lost in your wet folds. You're practically dripping now, and Satoru, with all his debauchery, gladly licks it all up as you writhe and whimper above him. Your thighs grow tighter around him, threatening to crush his skull if both his hands weren't carved into the fat of your thighs, squeezing.Â
Your initial panic is washed away, crumbled by his insistent tongue and fingers. You whimper out his name again as his tongue circles your clit and two fingers continue to move in and out of your sopping pussy. You're crying now, tears of pleasure and brokenness floating down your cheeks. Despite how blurry your vision is, you can see Satoru looking up at you.Â
"Getting close?" he's breathless, but there's still a hint of playfulness in his voice, "gonna sing, pretty girl?"Â
He gives a particularly hard suck on your clit and you're gone. You seize, throwing your head back as your legs shake from the force of your orgasm. It's a scream, so loud and shameless. Satoru gives a groaned pant, lapping up your aftertaste, making you jolt from the overstimulation before he finally gets to his feet. You watch as he haphazardly wipes the remnants of you with his sleeve before he's kissing you again.Â
"Always so sweet f'me," he purrs, biting at your lips before he fumbles with his belt. His cock is already red and strained. He pants, head shifting to fall at the crook of your neck as he lines himself up and sinks into you with one full thrust.Â
You whine a mix of a sob and a hissed moan. He hushes you with a stilted breath, barely keeping himself together as he pumps himself into you. Both of you are sweating now. You can feel the beads draw down your neck. He licks at your clavicle, biting when he starts to get more aggressive. When it's too less, he hikes your thigh over his waist, keeping it there so he can go even deeper.Â
"Fuck, I'm crazy for you," he slurs against your skin. You can barely pay attention to his words, barely keeping your own voice in check, "âwould do anything for you, pretty girl."Â
He raises his head, looking you in the eye. His sunglasses have been tossed on the floor. You can his beautiful eyes, two cosmic galaxies of blue. You could stare at them for hours, discovering each variant of cerulean, naming each one. You bet each day you look, you'll find another shade. They're so pretty.
You wonder how pretty those eyes would look floating in a jar.Â
"'Toru-!" you gasp when Satoru rocks himself into again, even faster. The name you accidentally gave him when you're too fucked out to comprehend language makes him laugh in pure delight, his smile uncontrolled, delirious.Â
"Right here, baby," he moans into your sweaty skin, hand reaching down to rub your clit, "your âToru's right here. Just where you need him."Â
His fingers move under your shirt, squeezing at your tits, exploring, roughly grabbing at your chest. The sensation makes you wince. Your walls draw even tighter, choking his cock.Â
"Too-too much, 'Toru, p-please." He growls at your begging, burying his face in your neck again. He nips at your damp skin, you flinch.Â
"I gotcha' baby," he breathes, "just-just lemme-" He presses on your clit. It's all you need.Â
You come with a sob, your pussy squeezing, milking Satoru for all he's worth. He's not too far behind, hips stuttering before he whines in your ear. Something warm fills your cunt.Â
You flounder, sagging against the wall. Satoru's the only thing that keeps you upright as you fight to catch your breath. He isn't in any better shape, panting just as hard as you are. He lifts his head, pressing his damp forehead onto yours. There's a dreamy smile on his lips. A look of absolute adoration.Â
"I love you."Â
You look at him. There's nowhere else to look.
"I love you," he repeats, leaning forward to kiss the corner of your lips. His lips trail down, caressing your cheek, your jaw, your neck. It would almost feel nice, but you can only stare straight ahead. You can see the dull green lockers in the distance. You can smell the mold in the damp locker room. You can feel Satoru's cum slowly seep out of you, trailing down your thigh.Â
Fuck three weeks.Â
You needed to get out, now.Â
đ€
The only reason you went is because you were told Gojo Satoru wouldn't be there.Â
His assistant had off-handily mentioned that he had a meeting on the other side of town. Very last minute. The building as a whole would be empty, just a skeleton crew and a couple of security guards to keep the place running. It made sense, it was 8 pm- long past any proper business hours.Â
Higuruma could have easily gone, but it's clear the sleepless nights have been getting to him, or the stress. His paralegal is more than qualified to act like a middleman between him and Mr.Gojo's associates. It's an easy mission. Just grab a few things, and get out.Â
Gojo Satoru wasn't supposed to be there.Â
And yet, there he was, leaning against the door, blocking you into the room.Â
His assistant had always been a mousey thing. Tonight, however, he'd been extra ansty, looking around the room. Babbling out excuses as to what was taking him so long. Now, when he can barely even look at you, you realize he was just a distraction.Â
"You're off the clock, Ijichi," Gojo finally breaks the silence, "take tomorrow off too, okay?"Â
His assistant quickly nods, keeping his head down to flit out the door. You can't even bring yourself to be mad at him. Gojo always had a habit of singling out the weakest, crushing them within his fist, unless they bent or broke.Â
The door shuts with a click.Â
"You know, I didn't even recognize you at first," he starts. He takes a small step forward.Â
You take one back. He puts his hands up.Â
"Okay, don't be like that," he sighs, exasperated, "It's been what, 10 years? How you've been?"Â
He steps around you, barely brushing against your shoulder to get to his desk. He reaches down, grabbing a wine bottle and two glasses from a cabinet, setting both down on mahogany wood.Â
"Wanna drink? Technically, it's against company policy to serve alcohol in the building but I won't tell if you don't." He grins. It looks bloody.Â
He looks so casual, the man who's haunted your nightmares, leaning against a desk in a building he owns. Your heart's beating in your chest. It's so loud. You wonder if he can hear it too.Â
When you don't respond, he rolls his eyes.Â
"Figures." He pops the cork. "You were always such a stickler for the rules."Â
"What do you want?" You ask, your tone weaker than you'd liked.Â
"What? Don't you wanna catch up? I missed you." You flinch at his words, looking away. "A paralegal, huh? Gotta' say, wasn't what I expected, but it fits you." It sounds condescending, but you don't poke the bear, opting to stay silent.Â
He seems to take an issue with that, regardless.Â
"Are you mad? If anything, I should be the one upset at how you just ran off like that. After all that time we spent together too. I didn't even get a breakup text."Â
 His last words, send a chill up your spine. A warning. Staying here any longer would be a mistake.Â
You go to move.Â
Satoru's faster.Â
Your head slams against the wall. Hard. Enough to hurt. You struggle anyway, clawing at the hand that's gripping your throat, the body pinning you down. Above you (he's gotten so much taller now), Gojo tuts in disappointment.Â
"I tried to be nice and look where that got me. You tried to run again," he muses, like he's disappointed, "I shouldn't be surprised. You've always needed something with a bit more teeth." At his threat, his hand on your throat tightens. You freeze.Â
It's barely choking you, but it's enough of a warning. His other hand is playing with the end of your blouse, feeling the fabric. You can feel the tears start. They're a familiar taste. Only this time, they're twinged with bitterness.Â
"Don't do this," you whisper, "Don't-don't-"Â
"Yeah, I don't think you're in any position to make demands right now." He's grinning, but when you look into his eyes, you can see the anger. A fire that has burned for a decade. At that moment, you realized Gojo Satoru had changed. Now, he was better at hiding how he truly felt.Â
You should have quit the moment Higurama got him as a client.Â
Gojo's dragging you over to the desk, haphazardly pushing away the stuff already on it. The computer, the bottle, the wine glasses all fall to the floor with a deafening crash as he shoves you down, splaying you across the table. He follows you down, leaning to meet your lips in a frenzied kiss. It's different than all the other times he'd kissed you. He'd lost all the inexperience, more keen on making you stay put and bleed. When you try to turn your face, pushing at his chest, he only growls. A large hand grabs your chin, keeping you in place for him.Â
When he pulls away, there's a hint of blood on his plush lips. It's not his. He licks it up regardless.Â
You're full-on sobbing now; barely in sucking air as your body shudders and jolts. You don't expect comfort, least of all from him, but he's cooing, wiping away your tears.Â
"Missed this," he purrs, ignoring the way you weakly push at him, "'guess that was my mistake. I was expecting you to be different. Nah, you'll be the same crybaby you always were. That's how you managed to slip under my radar."Â
He buries his face into your hair, sighing in contentment as you shiver underneath him. His lips graze the crown of your head, a complete juxtaposition to his words.Â
"Scream all you want. No one's here, baby." No one's gonna save you from me.
 Still, you try anyway. Your hands grip his broad shoulders, digging in your nails until he hisses.Â
"Fuck maybe you have changed." He rasps, fiddling with his belt. "You're bitchier now."Â
"Gojo-Gojo what are you-" He bites on your bare clavicle. You squeal, stilling underneath him again.Â
"Satoru," he insists. You slump over the desk as he takes both your hands, wrapping his leather belt around your delicate wrists. You wince when he twists it into a knot. The leather bites into your skin. The fight dissolves just as rapidly as it arrived. He hadn't even lifted a finger against you. You were just that pathetic.Â
"Satoru," you breathe, waving your flag of defeat. He hums, licking at the bitemark. You can feel the heat bloom on your skin. They'll be a mark tomorrow, and much like Satoru, it would go away so easily.Â
"There's my good girl," he groans, cold hands fiddling with the buttons on your blouse, opening it up until your bra pops out, "I know I should be more mad, but I've always had a soft spot for you. Guess things will never change, hm?"Â
His mouth dips down, tracing your collarbone to your breasts. He wiggles down your bra, letting your tits spill out and into his hands. He squeezes one while taking another in his mouth, swirling the bud with his tongue before devouring. His moan is barely muffled by your tits. Yours is clear, high-pitched and breathy. Satoru always had no problem being shameless. And he often dragged it out of you too.Â
He's mouthing something against your skin, but you're too distracted by his other hand, slinking down your waist, pushing up your pencil skirt, letting it bunch around your hips. In the moment, you chastised yourself for wearing something so easy to get rid of, but it wasn't like you were expecting for him to be here, to bring you down just like he did when you were in high school. It's not like you were expecting to fall.Â
Satoru feels around your pantyhose, running up and down your thigh, searching. He squeezes the sheer fabric, before he rips a hole into it. You gasp, jerking at the action.Â
"That's-"
"I'll buy you new ones," he says, voice muffled by your tits. The conversation feels familiar.Â
He bypasses your panties immediately, finding your pussy with practiced ease. You're already soaking. At this, he raises to look at you. You can't keep eye contact, timidly looking away. He laughs. It sounds sickenly affectionate.Â
"You're so cute." He purrs just as he leaves another mark on your chest. Your tits bounce under his attention as he pushes two fingers into your tight sopping hole. Your back curls, arching off the desk as he starts pumping his fingers in and out of you. Disgust grows within you, not at him, but at yourself, for letting yourself get this low. This desperate.Â
It doesn't stay for long. He's cruel like that, moving in a way that makes you forget your humanity. His fingers get even faster, digging into your cunt and curling somewhere deep inside, hitting a spot that makes you gasp. You're reduced to whimpering moans by the time he finally stops, fingers exiting your pussy with a wet noise. He brings them to his mouth, sucking on his fingers, eyes rolling to the back of his head at your taste.Â
"Fuckin' sweet," he moans, taking his fingers out with a sickening pop before wiping the drool on your heaving tits.Â
Your eyes float to the window. The moon is out, you blearily realize. It's a blood moon, a rusty red. Once every 3 months, it'll lose its heavenly glow. The innocent milky white will get shadowed by the Earth's rusty atmosphere. It'll regain its color eventually. The Sun doesn't like to be overshadowed.Â
Something hard and blunt slides between your legs. You're barely given a second to comprehend it before Satoru grabs you by the hips, filling you up with one thrust. You yelp, a semblance of his name on your lips, but it's shrouded by the moan you give out.Â
He stays like that for a bit. You should be grateful he is letting you adjust to him. His cock is sickenly familiar to your walls. Satoru's hair brushes your cheek as he leans up to whisper in your ear.Â
"How many?" he sounds like he's gritting his teeth, barely in control, "how many guys have you let fuck you since you ran?"Â
You blink, wondering if he's seriously asking, but you can hear the seriousness in his tone. Even now, he's concerned with the wrong things. He's always been petty like that.Â
"You," you say because there's no point in lying, "it's only ever been you."Â
You say it like it's a curse, because to you, Satoru had cursed you. He'd stolen something you'd never be able to enjoy, devouring it, keeping it for himself. A part of you will always hate yourself for letting him do that, just like a part of you will always be his.Â
Satoru deflates, as if he's relieved, easing his face into the crook of your neck, placing an almost loving kiss on your shoulder. He starts slow, slowly drawing his cock out, just until his tip is barely still in, before he pushes himself back into your hole. His pace is slow, controlled. It's different than when he was younger, more eager to get himself off more than anything. Now, it's like he's enjoying the intimacy, the feeling of your walls squeezing him. The wet noises. He's barely affected. Unlike you, writhing underneath him, close to falling apart. It's his length that gets you, forcing your pussy to stretch just to fit him. His cock hits everywhere, all at once, an endless torture of pleasure.Â
It takes you a while to get your brain back together, to collect the mush, and realize that Gojo isn't wearing a condom.Â
"S-Sato-" You try, just when he spreads your thighs apart, pushing them close to your chest so he can get deeper and kiss you at the same time. His hand slips down to your swollen clit, rubbing tight circles and you feel yourself getting even closer. You squeeze your eyes shut at the onslaught.Â
"Try again," Satoru huffs, "What's my name? I know you know it, pretty girl."Â
"'Toru," you beg because it's all you have left. Your breathless gasps make you sound even more unconvincing but you still manage to stutter out, "I'm-I'm not on anything, so-so please-"Â
"That's okay," he mutters, though it's clear he's half-listening, "I'll take care of you and the baby."
"No-I-I-can't-"Â
He drops his leisure pace in exchange of shorter, faster thrusts. His cock barely leaves your pussy, grinding in your hole as his breathing starts to get a little less controlled.Â
"I'll make sure it takes this time too."Â
Your eyes open, and you forget your panic to stare at him. You think back to the pills 18-year-old Geto had handed you. Always discreet. You'd...you'd always thought they were Satoru's idea.Â
He hits something inside you, right then. You implode, crashing and burning as you gush around his dick. He's not kind enough to ease you through it, ramming his cock even harder inside your battered pussy until he's hunching over you with a shudder. You can feel his cum settle deep inside your womb.Â
You stay like that for a few moments, not saying anything. It feels like hours before Satoru is moving again, drawing his softened cock out of your overstimulated pussy. You can feel the cum drip out of you too, spilling onto the desk, but you don't think Satoru's too mad about that. He flicks your clit a few times, watching your hips jerk and you give an exhausted whine.Â
He kisses your breasts. He kisses up your jaw, before finding your lips. Dazed, you find yourself kissing back in reluctant acceptance, your body aching for any semblance of gentleness.Â
"I love you."Â
You look into his eyes, and you realize he's right. Gojo Satoru loves you, and this is how a man like him loves. He meant it, all those years ago, just like how he does now.
Satoru loves like the Sun. Too bright. With enough heat to burn your soul away. It's why you ran.Â
"I love you," he repeats like the phrase doesn't kill you each time he says it, "so you're never leaving me."Â
"Not ever again."
There are theories that the Moon once had color.Â
It wasn't just white. It was green and blue, and red. 70 million years ago, it could have been much like the Earth. It didn't have a strong atmosphere, however. The gaseous layer was slowly stripped away. The Sun had eaten it. With no atmosphere, the unfiltered solar radiation slowly began to bleach the once colorful celestial body a dull white. Before long, the sun had created the moon to be its image. Now, the only color the moon has to offer is the sun's reflection.Â
If Satoru was the Sun, then perhaps, you were the Moon. Stripped of your color. Unable to create light of your own. Reflecting only what you're given.Â
How foolish of you to think you could ever escape his radiation.Â
#yandere jjk#yandere#yandere gojo satoru#dark content#dark jjk#dark gojo satoru#x reader#gojo satoru#reader insert#afab reader#bullying#harassment#forced relationship#tw: dubcon#tw:noncon
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âౚà§ËâĄËàŁȘ bark like you want it !!
á°.á in the world of sports, there's only one thing people care more about than getting hot 'n sweaty with the athletes: the girlies who are the ones these men are running home to. alternatively: a headcanon post about the hyper-specific wag!reader the bllk boys would end up with. ( fem!reader & sfw )
featuring yoichi isagi, reo mikage, seishiro nagi, rensuke kunigami, rin itoshi author's notes since wives and girlfriends is wag + the song has been stuck in my head, i thought 'bark like you want it' was a silly, cute name for the post lol. warning that isagi's section mentions having kids!!!!
ౚৠYOICHI ISAGI â the girl next door !! your dynamic is: the two of you have known each other since childhood, and throughout every stage of his life and career, you've been right by his side. when isagi confesses to you shortly after scoring the winning goal of the u-20 match, he's a blushing, awkward, stuttering mess. despite his newfound fame and notoriety (which will only continue to grow), yoichi isagi is still the same boy you've spent living next door to since your elementary days. when he goes pro and becomes a world famous athlete, surrounded by models and actresses, the only girl to still give him butterflies is you. you love him for him. in every speech he has to give, he's always singing praises about you and your unconditional support and love. the wedding you two have is intimate and fairly private, although isagi can't help but post a picture of the two of you outside the obgyn clinic with the cheesy caption of "my baby is having a baby!!!! đđ"
the girlies love you because: you're what people think of when someone describes someone as being down to earth. your social media presence is nonexistent, save for a private instagram with less than 200 followers. you live your life in peace with a man who doesn't stress you out in the slightest â in fact, your relationship with isagi is aspirational to a lot of people. one of the number one athletes in the world and super hot 'n rich, and the only thought that rivals soccer on his one-track mind is you, his wife that he's hopelessly devoted to. you're always seen at every single one of his games, sporting his jersey, and always cheering happily when he scores. once the two of you have kids, you'll be carrying your baby (who's also sporting isagi's jerseyđ„č) every one of his fans that happens to run into you in public can see why isagi is so in love with you; there are only stories about how kind and sweet you are. it's why you're known as the sweetheart of the soccer wags <3
ౚৠREO MIKAGE â the ceo !! your dynamic is: an arranged marriage... gone right? you belong to a conglomerate family that runs in the same circle as the mikages. you're in the middle of starting up your own beauty brand, and you're trying to make a name for yourself. reo is occupied with his professional soccer career. neither of you want to go through with this marriage interview, but to appease your families, you two agree, not expecting that you two would match each other's freak for real. he's competitive and likes what he can't have; you're little miss independent and equally competitive. he tells you he doesn't mind the engagement, and you get your lawyers to draft a pretty prenup that'll milk him for all he's worth while keeping your assets safe. he buys you a massive engagement ring, and you ask him, "that's the best you can do?" the minute he's in control of mikage corp, he knows he'll gladly let you take the reins.
the girlies love you because: you are the corporate it girl. everyone is obsessed with your paparazzi photos that exude office siren but make it actually work appropriate. there are how-to videos on copying your style. not to mention, you're a businesswoman. every time you attend one of reo's games, you strategically reapply your beauty brand's lipgloss, or tease new products by applying said unreleased products while on camera. someone once asked you in a comment how does it feel to be engaged to a rich ceo? to which you replied @.reomikage how does it feel to be engaged to a rich ceo? just because your man spoils you doesn't mean you put him on a pedestal. princess treatment is the bare minimum for you.
ౚৠSEISHIRO NAGI â the twitch streamer !! your dynamic is: so silly. you're the type of girl who looks good even with pimple patches on your face and your oversized glasses that you only wear because it has blue light blocking lenses on them. you're a well known streamer and got your start during the peak of fortnite (you started off being comically bad at the game, but again: you're a pretty girl. you being good would've just exploded every guys' brains), but once you got your bag secured, you started posting the content you preferred (dress to impress on roblox). everyone loves you because you're hilarious on camera, but you don't really keep up with sports, so when nagi joins your stream, everyone is going insane but you have no clue as to who he is. when they start spamming the chat about him, you ask your viewers "is he hot? no, scratch that. is he rich?" you've always been nagi's online crush & you basically made his whole entire month when you asked him to join you on your instagram live one day. the whole entire time, he's looking at you on the screen with literal hearts in his eyes, and he struggles to fight back his smile. it's so difficult for him to maintain a neutral expression, and this is the most any of his fans have ever heard him speak, and the comments can't stop talking about "how geeked bro is rn"
the girlies love you because: just like isagi's wag, you are a genuine sweetheart. you never hard launch nagi, but you do tease confirmation on your relationship. you'll wear one of his hoodies that people know is his, or sometimes you'll stream when nagi is over and people can see his shoulder in the frame or they'll hear him say something to you to make you laugh. you post pictures of your view of the field, usually captioning it with something like "damn. i could be going crazy on sims 4 rn" you're just such a fun person to watch, and people consider you + nagi to be their comfort couple (although most of the comforting energy comes from you and your antics).
ౚৠRENSUKE KUNIGAMI â the pilates instructor !! your dynamic is: fun and flirty, and straight out of a romcom. you're a well-known pilates instructor and in an attempt to get more girls to garner an interest in the sports channel, the network reaches out to you to see if you want to be in a humorous segment where you try to host a pilates class with some of the pro sports team. these guys are all about bulking and lifting and stamina training, and they don't really hold pilates in a high regard, so the comedy could be there. you obviously agree, and you end up teaching kunigami's team first. he can barely concentrate on the class and fumbles a few times because he's too focused on how good you look in your lululemon hot pink set. he's trying so hard to be respectful, and when you talk to him after the class, thanking him for being one of the only guys to not look down on pilates before they had to endure a session, he's trying so hard to avert his gaze because the sight of you slightly sweaty and in your workout clothes is doing something to him. you love teasing him, and the fact that he's a gentleman and still believes in chivalry makes it all the more fun.
the girlies love you because: besides making working out fun, you feature kunigami in some videos and always tease him by making up and demonstrating some freaky positions that always have him turning red in the face. you're always so considerate and supportive of your followers, and in return, they're always supportive of your own endeavors. when you come out with your own workout line, you put your boyfriend's famous name and hot body to use. he's in your marketing campaign, but honestly, the videos of him looking at you when you're wearing your own workout set is advertisement enough.
ౚৠRIN ITOSHI â the unbothered model !! your dynamic is: centered on the concept of private not secret. neither of you get too personal on social media; you just post aesthetic photos and sponsored content for revolve & rin's socials are managed by a team. like everyone else in the world with decent eyesight, rin's struck by your beauty. unlike most of the guys who are attracted to you, though, rin stands out. for starters, he actually has the confidence to approach you. even better: he's actually polite when he does. normally, the ones bold enough to approach you are bold and loud and kinda sleazy. rin is nothing like that. underneath both yours and his cold exterior, the two of you actually share some of the same niche interests. rin's a pretty intense person on the field and to the public, and there's not a single photo on the internet where you can be seen smiling. the aura the two of you have when paired together is insane... insanely intimidating. he's also the person you're most comfortable with and vice versa. the two of you can be messy and unfiltered and annoying with each other, and no one else.
the girlies love you because: you serve effortless cool girl. at every game you attend to watch rin, not once do the cameras catch you off guard. side profile? stunning. catching your usual neutral expression morph into concern and shock as rin gets shoved by an opponent? you still look insanely good. your hair is always done, nails are always done, your outfits are always fitted and put the other wags to shame. when girls think of iconic partners of athletes, you're always the first on their mind. there are tiktok tutorials that are trying to teach people how to emulate your energy, "[name] outfit inspo", or makeup videos trying to recreate your look. photos of you at rin's game is on every girl's "wag dream life" pinterest board, but the most popular photo is a grainy image someone managed to capture. it's taken after rin's game, and the two of you snuck off to the back of the stadium to be alone. he has his arms wrapped around your waist, and your arms are around his shoulders, and his forehead is pressed against yours and... it's the only photo where people have seen either of you smiling.
#blue lock x reader#yoichi isagi x reader#isagi yoichi x reader#reo mikage x reader#mikage reo x reader#seishiro nagi x reader#nagi seishiro x reader#rensuke kunigami x reader#kunigami rensuke x reader#rin itoshi x reader#itoshi rin x reader#blue lock headcanons#fluff#drabble#just something silly for fun hehe
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never changing [ five hargreeves x reader ]
a/n: hi yâall! itâs been a hot minute since iâve been on here, but after the absolute shit show that season 4 was, some sparks ignited in me to write up anything to take my mind off it đ
its not anything crazy, just fluff and banter since i havenât written anything in years so it may be as poorly redacted as this season lmao
summary: five and y/n attend their niece birthday party together, yet separate
âHappy birthday, little Gracie!â You smiled widely, trying not to drop the wrapped present box as the six year old girl jumped into your arms, âOh my gosh, look at you! Youâre just getting prettier by day, arenât you?â
You had just got off work in a hurry to make your appearance at the little girlâs birthday party at a decent time, in spite of the amount of paperwork you managed to bury yourself in lately. You knew how much it would have meant for the celebrated one to show up and you couldnât bear to let her down, especially on her birthday.
After spending most of your life working for the Commission, and then a decent amount of time exhausting yourself in trying to stop multiple Apocalypses, your last six years have been pretty quiet as a lawyer. You really wanted to get out of the whole assassin thing, but at the same time couldnât exactly move on from the thrill of the work field. Your career as a lawyer took off really well these past years, but inevitably it came along with the cost of always being stuck at work, so whenever your niece got the chance to see you, she was truly enthusiastic.
âAuntie Y/N!â She wrapped her tiny arms around your neck, engulfing you into a tight hug, âYou are here!â
Nonetheless, these six years have been truly and undeniably the most peaceful time of your life for as long as you could remember.
âYou literally saw each other the other day,â Five raised a brow, watching you and the celebrated one act as if you hadnât seen each other in years.
You and the little girl shared a look, before rolling your eyes and turning to glare at the man next to you. Ever since Grace learned how to talk, you and her would gang up on her uncle for your amusement, especially since he was so keen on entertaining the banter.
These past six year have gone by in the blink of an eye, yet at the same time at a slow and steady pace. You spent most of your time working anyway, but still kept in touch with the seven siblings youâd grown to love.
Some in different ways than others.
âUncle Five, youâre always more excited than me to see Aunt Y/N,â Gracie waved him off, making you burst out laughing, âJealousy isnât a good look on you anyway.â
âWhat is a good look on him anyway?â You smirked, making the little girl laugh, as Five swept her into his arms;
âOkay, munchkin, itâs your birthday today, but tomorrow Iâm going back to bullying you,â He joked, causing you both to laugh, before the two shared a hug before you, âYouâre lucky your gift has no return policy.â
The party had already started by the time you made it there. The playground was huddled by other kids around Graceâs age, along with their parents. The music was playing loudly over the laughter of children and you were pretty sure that most of the family had already arrived. It was not the most ideal gathering, but you tried your best to keep in touch with most of the family to your best capabilities.
âY/N, Iâm so glad you could make it!â Luther smiled, appearing from the crowd of guests, immediately giving you a big hug as his niece was still wrapped around Five, âHavenât seen you since Thanksgiving!â
âBig shot lawyer doesnât always have the time to stay in touch with family, huh?â Diego teased you, following suit, as you rolled your eyes, dropping off his daughterâs gift in his hands.
âBig shot delivery driver doesnât know the phone works both ways, huh?â You smirked, putting your hands on your hips.
Diego laughed out loud as he gave you a hug, always in the mood for a back and forth short banter with you. After all, you truly were family, even if you didnât always have the time to be present in the Hargreevesâ day to day lives. You may have met them in the original timeline in 2019, when you accidentally time traveled with your former partner at the Commission, Five, but after all youâve been through, you didnât need to have grown up together or be blood related to be considered that. And you truly were grateful for each and every single one of them, in spite of the many differences over the years.
After everything thatâs happened six years ago at Hotel Oblivion, everyone went their separate ways. Allison was back with her daughter while trying to further her acting career and also help Klaus stay on the sober line, Viktor had moved to Canada where he opened a bar, Diego and Lila had three kids, Luther was âprofessionally dancingâ, Ben had some run-ins with the law and Five, ironically enough, was working for the CIA.
âWell, you two are as annoying as always,â Ben told you and his brother, making Diego roll his eyes as he walked towards the gift table to set down your present.
âPlease try to stay out of prison at least for the remainder of the year,â You joked with the man, making him roll his eyes as he hugged you loosely, âThereâs only so much favors I could owe the DA.â
âShut the fuck up,â Ben groaned, âI donât even know why they let you work at the law firm since you still look like a prepubescent with no boobs. Even Five got a growth spurt.â
âI sized up to B recently, thank you very much,â You nudged his shoulder, before placing your hands on your chest in an offended manner.
âOkay, Gracie, not a conversation youâd wanna hear,â Five spoke up, putting his niece down, âYour aunt needs to learn some etiquette on how to act around children.â
âFunny coming from you,â You couldnât help but wave him off.
You didnât come in with Five at the party, but as fate had it, you did run into him as you were parking your car. He had just gone out to his brotherâs dusty van to bring inside some more cookies for the guests. You kept in touch with him as well, but not as often as you would have liked. Itâs not all that serious, but given the fact that you were a lawyer still climbing your way to the top and him being a top notch CIA agent, you didnât exactly have the time to hang out.
At least, not as much as youâd have liked.
Five was watching you with a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips, and his hands in his pockets. He had the same look on his face as always when watching you. He had the same smile when he saw you in combat for the first time during your first mission for the Commission together, the same look in his eyes when you appeared for the first time in 2019 alongside him in your teen bodies. The same posture he had when he met you again in 1963 after months of not seeing each other.
He wore the same love on his face while looking at you when you and the siblings split up after the events at Oblivion.
And never once did you notice that.
Not once in these past six years you let your feelings surface.
âYou know Grace is my niece too, right?â He couldnât drop the small smile even if he wanted to.
âSince when are you such a family man?â You raised a brow, trying to keep a confident composure.
âOh, something changed in me between the first and third time I traded the world for my siblings,â He lightly shrugged his shoulders, making you roll your eyes at the sarcastic remark.
You two never changed.
âPlease, I was there for the twins birth,â You waved him off.
You rarely see Five, and even when you do you always try to act normal, as you do around the rest of the Hargreeves. Everyone tried to get you two together at first, since the apocalypse was over and there was no reason for you to not get together, right?
You really wished it was that easy. In hindsight, maybe it was. But you couldnât take any chances in losing Five forever if something were to go wrong. Maybe some would see it as something stupid, or as if you wasted so many years, but to you- mentally, you were almost seventy, while physically nineteen. You had so much time ahead of you now, all that mattered was to get a stable career first.
Five let a chuckle escape, shaking his head in disbelief, as he looked at the floor for a couple of seconds. When he looked back at you, you tried to keep your composure. You couldnât help but feel pathetic that after all these years, your heart still skipped a beat whenever heâd look at you.
âYouâre doing that thing again where you forget that some other people are still around, guys,â Luther raised his hand, grabbing your attention once again.
âI got bored of watching seventy year old virgins,â Ben shrugged his shoulders, âIâm gonna go get shitfaced.â
âAlways a delight seeing you, Benjamin,â Five said, as Luther followed the ex-tentacle boy suit to make re he was not about to actually get drunk;
âThis is a six year oldâs birthday party!â
You giggled, watching the two brothers speed away while arguing amongst the kids in the crowd. When your eyes laid back on Five, who was intently watching you, you couldnât help but feel a small blush creep its way in your cheeks.
âWhat?â
âNothing.â
âSpit it out, Hargreeves.â
âI said itâs nothing!â
âFuck you.â
âWhy?â
You watched him dumbfounded for a couple of seconds because of the only answer he could come up with, before walking away, hoping he would follow you.
When he did try to keep up with you, you looked away to hide the proud smile. Even after all these years, things were still the same with him. He was still so eager to spend time with you, he was still smiling at you and entertaining your conversation.
âAunt Y/N, Uncle Five, come play in the ball pit!â Gracie ushered you from afar, already tucked in the plastic colorful balls.
âYou heard the birthday girl!â You smiled, grabbing his hand to drag Five after you.
Even after all these years he would instantly lock his fingers with yours.
#the umbrella academy#the umbrella academy x reader#five hargreeves#five hargreeves imagines#five hargreeves x reader#five hargreeves imagine#tua x reader#tua season 4#the umbrella academy imagines#the umbrella academy season 4
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for everyone asking me "what do we do??!??!"
The Care We Dream Of: Liberatory and Transformative Approaches to LGBTQ+ Health by Zena Sharman
Mutual Aid: Building Solidarity During This Crisis (And the Next) by Dean Spade
Cop Watch 101 - Training Guide
The Do-It Yourself Occupation Guide
DIY HRT WikiÂ
The Innocence Project - helps take inmates off of death row
Food Not BombsÂ
Transfeminine Science - collection of articles and data about transfem HRT
Anti-Doxxing Guide for Activists
Mass Defense Program - National Lawyers Guild
How to be part of a CERT (Community Emergency Response Team)
Understanding and Advocating for Self Managed Abortion
The Basics of Organizing
Building Online Power
Build Your Own Solidarity Network
Organizing 101
How to Start a Non-Hierarchical Direct Action Group
A Short and Incomplete Guide for New Activists
Eight Things You Can Do to Get Active
Palestine Action Underground Manual
How to Blow Up a Pipeline by Andreas Malm
Spreadsheet of gynecologists that will tie your tubes without bothering you about it
COVID Resource Guide
Mask Bloc NJ (find one near you, these are international!)
Long Covid Justice
Donate to Palestinian campaigns (2, 3, 4)
Donate to Congolese campaigns (2, 3)Â
Donate to Sudanese campaigns (2, 3)
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