#stop being so damn pretentious

[jackass-jones]

It is annoying the people on that friend breakup finale poll who think that just cuz grace/simon are cartoon characters they’re like. Just obviously lesser and there’s no way their story could be as crazy or complicated as the characters from the live action horror show and that everyone who wants them to win is a childish loser who only watches baby shows and therefore has invalid opinions

[ninjasmudge]

shoutout to bitches who sounded soo pretentious when they were kids because they used too many long words in writing/schoolwork bc they genuinely didnt know how else to get the point across

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Demetri Alexopoulos ;_____;

It's a unique type of frustration when you agree that a character is deeply flawed but other people keep missing what's actually wrong with them and assigning them new flaws that they don't even have it's like free my man he did none of that. He did a bunch of other shit tho.

[plastic-oasis]

Plastic oasis homestuck au…

[inkskinned]

one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.

one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.

i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.

the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.

my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.

i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.

[rosedpetal]

Let's Try Something New

Summary: Outraged by the horrible smut you were reading, Robert shows you how BDSM really is.

Pairing: Robert Chase x Wife!Reader

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: smut, light bdsm (sorry if it's inaccurate, I'm just a vanilla girl)

Masterlist

You loved him with all your heart.

Not only that, he was a dream come true. Tall, handsome, blonde, broad and with a heart of gold. If Robert was a dog, he'd be a damn golden retriever. With his innocent blue eyes and easy smiles and suffocating affection.

To his friends and colleagues, your husband was the personification of a boy-next-door type, now turned a man with a license to practice medicine. Everything that was probably expected from him when he was young.

He was raised as a Catholic, for fucks sake, even taking the lengths of beginning his studies at seminary school when he was sixteen. Everything in him screamed safe.

You thought it was ironic.

Robert wasn't one to criticize your choice of entertainment, and he secretly knew you've read a lot of smutty books and fanfics on Tumblr. Apparently it was a popular thing amongst women. He's heard nurses talking (and they talked too damn much).

It happened while you were showering, washing your hair throughly, blissful unaware of the fact that Robert saw your book unattended in the coffee table and his curiosity took the best of him. A little peek wouldn't hurt, right?

He flicked through the pages, snorting at how inaccurate and unrealistically these scenes were written. Not only he knew the anatomy and biology like a pro (he was a doctor!) but he used to practice the very same stuff that was so poorly written in your pretentious little book.

It was all so-wrong.

He was so immersed in the horrors he was reading that he didn't notice you walking to the kitchen with a towel in your head and wearing your pajamas, ready to cook dinner. You thought it was weird, usually, he'd acknowledge you first thing. When you turned to look at him, you finally realized, in absolute horror, that he was reading the book you bought on Amazon days ago.

"Rob!" You let out a sound that resembled a squeal. "What are you doing?"

He looked up at you, trying to fight his smirk.

"Is this the kind of educational literature you buy with my hard earned money?"

Your face flushed with embarassment.

"Hey! I bought this with my money! And that's besides the point, I told you before to not snoop on my stuff."

"Because you're embarrassed of it?

"I-" You stopped yourself, feeling your cheeks redden even more.

"I'm not mad that you're reading erotica. But babe, this is so poorly written. I'm actually disappointed." He put the book back on the coffee table, crossing his arms and looking at you. "It's all a load of bull-"

"Because it's kinky? Because it's BDSM?" You knew you were being defensive, but you couldn't help it.

"No. Because this stuff is not BDSM. This author has no idea what they're talking about and is trying to use the practice of BDSM to write their rapey scenes."

You tilted your head to the side. "Are you an expert on BDSM now?" Your eyes widened as you saw your very innocent husband's expression change to slight amused. Oh my-

"I've practiced it, years ago."

You couldn't believe it.

And he kept on rambling: "Well, first of all, BDSM is not something used to subdue women. Or to force kinky practices or shit like that. I mean, where's the fucking safe word here?"

"I'm sorry, when did your BDSM practice happen? Between leaving seminary and going to med school or..?" You couldn't help the question.

He scoffed at your little jab.

"Just let me know if you wanna see for yourself what the real thing is."

That had you speechless.

He was groping you aggressively, your little movie night turned into a heavy making out session the minute the credits started rolling in the screen. You whined, your breathing mixed, your cotton clothed core rubbing shamelessly against the tent in his sweatpants.

With an arm wrapped around your waist, he quickly rolled you, your back pressing on the couch as he towered over you.

He kissed down your neck, lips trailing butterfly kisses on your feverish skin.

"I wanna try."

He froze. "Try what?"

You rolled your eyes. "You know what. BDSM. Now."

He sighed, pulling back and sitting on the couch. "Babe, it doesn't work this way."

"Come again?"

"Honey, we have to talk about this first. Do you know what BDSM stands for? What are your limits? We have to establish a safe word, or if we'll use the color system..."

You sit up, trying not to sound frustrated. "Okay, Mr. expert in BDSM. Just tell me you think I'm too vanilla to handle it."

Robert rolled his eyes. "There's nothing wrong with being vanilla."

"I can be kinky!"

"Do you want this to prove a point or are you really interested?"

"I'm interested. I wanna know if my smutty books are really that shitty."

He snorted at that, brushing a strand of hair off your face. "You're okay with being tied up?"

"Yes."

"And blindfolded?"

"Yes."

"Can you choose a safeword for me?"

"Cookie?"

"Oh, I'd love one."

"Robert!"

"Sorry, baby... Okay, let's take this to the bedroom, okay?"

He followed you inside your shared bedroom, rummaging through a drawer on his nightstand and grabbing a medium box.

You probably looked funny, sitting in bed, half naked and politely waiting for Robert to get whatever he had planned for you. He grabbed a pair of handcuffs and in a very serious tone, said:

"Lay down and put your wrists above your head."

You obeyed, feeling the cold metal close around your wrists, safely tied around the headboard. You couldn't help but let out a nervous chuckle.

"Don't go Gerald's Game on me, please."

Robert's eyes lit up a little. You were so cute. He wanted to ruin you.

"Take your mind off everything else, and close your eyes for me, beautiful."

Unconsciously, you rubbed your thighs together. That voice and that accent? Should be illegal. The way he called you beautiful as he put a blindfold on you? Completely evil.

Robert hummed to himself as he dimmed the lights of the room and turned up the thermostat. He walked back to you, sitting down next to you, slowly trailing his fingertips on your body. You actually shivered, despite the room temperature.

He kissed down your body. Your neck, collarbones, your bare chest, your navel... Just as he was about to reach your panties, he kissed the way up again, wrapping an arm around you and lifting your torso slightly to kiss you.

It was surprisingly gentle, but still breathtaking, nonetheless. His lips slowly moved against yours, his tongue slowly making its way between your lips, and you let out a little whimper while he kissed you. He pulled back, his warm breath on you as his thumb brushed your swollen lips.

Then, the dance of kissing your body returned. This time, he gently bit on your nipple, giving your breast a small squeeze, lowering his mouth and licking your clothed core. It was embarrassing how soaked through you were, your panties ruined as he hooked his finger on the elastic and pushed the fabric to the side, his tongue finally making contact with your poor pussy.

"Open your mouth for me." He demanded in a rough tone and as soon as you obeyed, he stick two fingers inside your mouth. You moisted them with your saliva, and he retreated them, only to gently push them inside of you moments later.

Your chest was heaving as he kissed and sucked on your clit, rolling his tongue, curling his fingers inside you, the wet sounds music to his ears.

"Ow!" You gasped in surprise when he slapped your clit.

"Color?"

"Green..."

"Are you sure?"

"I was just surprised, okay? Green."

He chuckled as he could hear the pout in your voice, giving you another open finger slap on your swollen clit, his other hand scissoring you, making you arch your back.

Just as you were about to orgasm, he stopped.

"Wha-Why would you do that?" You asked, in an indignant tone.

"You didn't ask for permission, princess."

"Can I please, come?"

"You have to learn how to address me, too." Robert hummed, getting off the bed and taking off his pants, stroking himself. "Can you do that for me, honey? How do you call me when you're at my mercy like a whore?"

God, you knew you were gonna lose your goddamn mind.

"Hmmm, Sir?"

"That'll do for now." He says, towering over you, spreading your legs, making your stomach tighten with anticipation.

He aligned his tip in your wet entrance, his breath becoming irregular. Slowly, he rolled his hips, hands on your waist as he fucked you. The bed creaked slightly under your bodies, and he hiked your leg up, kissing your calf, never stopping.

"You always feel so good." He admits in a gruff tone, holding your leg against his chest as you desperately tried not to scream. "I can never get enough of you, baby girl."

"Sir, I need to come, please, please, can I come?" You cried out, already feeling it.

He'd let it slide this time. You were a beginner, after all.

"Yes, baby. Come for me. Show me what I do to you."

You clamped violently around him, squelching, wet walls milking his length, and he picked up his pace, the sound of your moans, your orgasm, all too much. His whole body tensed up as he spilled inside you, groaning, gently pulling out moments later.

He released your sore wrists from the handcuffs, taking the blindfolds off your eyes.

"That wasn't so bad." You jested, throat dry.

"Yeah, just you wait when I introduce you to the flogger."

The blush on your cheeks was rewarding as he pulled you in his arms again.

[sirenium]

if you even think about voting third party fuck you, shut the fuck up, vote blue. I am not the first to say this but in America there is no fucking choice other than red or blue. Vote blue. Vote blue, or human rights are fucked. Being genuinely serious. If Trump or some other republican clown gets into office we all might as well throw in the towel for all the basic rights and quality of life we'll get.

"oh but Kamala's a cop!" I am being so serious when I say I couldn't care less when the alternative is forced detransition. Get your head out of your ass and stop playing pretend and acting like there's a feasible choice other than democrats, because there fucking isn't. Transition changed my life for the better, and I am facing the possibility of having to throw that all away because some pretentious fucks decided to split the damn vote more JUST for Trump to be elected. I don't care if I'm in a blue state, because I have enough brain cells and basic decency to see that not everyone IS; if you want to gamble the lives of queer people and anyone who isn't a cishet white male just for a huff of moral superiority, I genuinely hate you. It fills me with so much fucking rage that people can just pretend their precious third option will do SHIT. IT WON'T.

Fucking GOD. Anyways, this has been a PSA to vote blue or you have blood on your hands. :3

[eternal-love]

SWEETHEART

Pairing: Austin x Priscilla!actress!reader

Summary: You and Austin were both lonely during filming, you needed to blow off some steam.

Warning: Making out, smut-ish???

Note: My love, Queen of my heart, my fluff queen, this one’s for u girl @butlervibesonly 🫶 I hope you do like it, because it’s not my best work

It was your first role, the first time you got something actually good, and you were excited for it. Even though COVID had ruined the whole experience, you still found yourself surrounded by amazing professionals. One of them being Austin.

When you first met Austin, it was during your audition process. Baz wanted to do a chemistry test, and the minute you saw Austin’s blue eyes and full lips— you knew you were in for a ride. Baz, the producers, they all loved you and Austin together. Hell, even Austin himself loved how you two looked together.

And once filming started, you got used to seeing his pretty face every day. You actually looked forward to seeing him everyday.

The scenes you two filmed were a lot, you thought that you had already filmed too much but you didn’t dare to stop it or complain.

Dressed as a young Priscilla, when she had just moved to Graceland. Wearing this pretty yellow two-piece set, your hair big and your makeup heavy. But you were on a break, you decided to sneak into the makeup trailer. Only to find Austin taking a nap there.

His black, well styled hair in proper place, a slight tan, his makeup, his lips slightly parted. Wearing a buttoned up shirt, black slacks and boots. Looking totally like 60’s Elvis. He was a light sleeper lately, so once he felt someone’s lingering presence near him, he jolted out from his sleep.

“Damn it, you scared me.” He muttered, his voice hoarse from being asleep.

“Didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.” You said as you sat down by his side. “You were so deep asleep.”

“I wasn’t asleep. I was… resting my eyes.” Austin straightened himself in the small couch, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. You laughed, he had been literally snoring.

“Right. Yeah.” You nodded your head. “You must be tired, I mean, you’re carrying the weight of the movie.”

You said, trying to flatter him. Were you being pretentious? Totally. Did you also want to make out with him? Abso-fucking-lutely.

“Oh, please. You compliment me too much. It won’t give you a raise, y’know?” He said, smirking. That smirk, it got you all the time.

“Wasn’t expecting a raise but I would take it.” You chuckled, you were staring too much but couldn’t stop.

“It’s your break?” Austin asked. To which you nodded in response. “Relax, then.”

You sat back on the couch, to which Austin turned to the side a little, using his elbow for support.

“How’re you feeling?” Austin asked, making eye contact with you.

“Uh- good? I guess. A little bit lonely, I miss my friends, my family.” You answered, the isolation of Australia and your lonely an apartment took a toll on you.

“I’ve been lonely too. Makes two of us.” Austin smiled.

He really liked you, he had been close to telling Baz to make you two share an apartment to “reduce costs” for the studio. You tie had been fooling around for quite a while actually. It started with subtle glances, then to grazing hands, then it escalated to giving him head once and him eating you out in your trailer. So, you weren’t exactly strangers.

He placed his hand on your thigh, his rings cold against your exposed skin.

“We’re filming the Polaroid scene tomorrow.” Austin said, his hand massaging your thigh.

“I saw my costume. It’s good.” You said teasingly. He knew it was a pretty babydoll nightgown, and he couldn’t wait to see you in it. Specially knowing he’ll take actual Polaroids of you.

The next day, you two were again in your break after filming the scenes. Austin wearing a silk pajama while you wore a babydoll.

The makeup artists left you alone on the makeup trailer again, they always did that. It was the subtle glances, the way he stared at the Polaroids he took of you. He had good fun by pretending to take spicy photos of you.

You didn’t even know how you ended up sitting in the vanity, him between your legs as he softly caressed your sides.

“Wonder how this would look like on the floor.” Austin whispered in your ear, his fingers playing with the lace of your nightgown. You threw your head back, allowing him to place kisses all over your neck.

“Mhm… you should find out.” You moaned out, your hands going to grip his hair.

“I want to.” Austin’s lips traveled up your neck, to your lips.

You two started kissing slowly, as he gently pushed his tongue inside your mouth. His hand going to your jaw, the cold of his rings making you shiver.

“You see how you get me?” Austin whispered in your lips. Feeling his hardness pressing against your inner thigh. “So fucking horny for you.”

You didn’t even answer, the heat was getting to you, you didn’t want him to stop being all over you. You were getting so soaked, that’s for sure.

Your hand went to his pants, rubbing his hardness, making him moan in your lips.

“So that’s how you’re going to play?” Austin pulled away for a second before attacking your lips again.

Making out with Austin always felt like walking on heaven for five minutes, like god touched your head and blessed you. You felt like the universe’s favorite person on earth. His plump lips felt like a cold breeze on a hot day, his hands were tremendously soft against your skin.

And for even get started on his scent, it could make you dizzy just by standing a little too close to him. So masculine yet so sweet.

You didn’t understand how a woman could’ve broken his heart, at least not even physically. I mean, the man was huge too. He was created with so much love.

A part of you wanted to continue the make out sessions but you knew it would be unprofessional to stain the costume because of how wet you were getting.

“You know…” you pulled away and he groaned as you had stopped caressing his hardness, it was painful. “We could continue this in my apartment.”

Austin smiled immediately, finally you had invited him over.

“You have no idea how much I’ve been wanting you to say that.” Austin looked into your eyes as he spoke, he was total romantic. Even if he had a huge boner on him right now. “You’re gorgeous, sweetheart.” He reached for your cheek to caress it.

That made you melt completely. You just wanted to be his sweetheart. Not a fling, not a rebound, not a lover. His actual official girlfriend. His main girl or whatever he would call you to talk about you with his friends and father.

“As much as I love this. I need to go to the restroom onto fix this.” He pointed at his boner, then kept caressing your face, his thumb going gently towards your lower lip. “I do not want to ruin your pretty hair and makeup just yet. That’s for me to do when we get home.”

When he pulled away to go and lock himself in the restroom, you almost whined. Your body ached to be close to him. I mean, he was made for you. You knew it. It was fucking clear.

You would be his sweetheart. You would make sure of it.

[neiptune]

slithered here from eden, just to sit outside your door

cw: 700wc, female reader, modern au, sanemi is your grumpy situationship on the verge of becoming more, i squeezed in a lil surprise :) sponsored by the angel that is @strawberrystepmom who put her trust in my writing and contributed to @ficsforgaza!

“What?”

You smile at the faux harshness, the embarrassment Sanemi still tries to clumsily conceal to no avail.

“That was very sweet of you” part of you wishes you still had the pink phone you used to keep in your room as a teen, just to twirl the landline cord around your finger.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Really? So I guess it was a total coincidence that your younger brother stopped by to bring what looked like a homemade soba noodle stir fry”

There’s silence on the other end of the line, a cautious pause. You know he’s pondering whether to keep up his dumb act, point out that they were evidently homemade or simply admit the obvious truth.

Sanemi clears his throat and chooses a secret fourth option, sidetracking.

“I’ve been stuck in stupid meetings all day. He happens to know you’re always too tired to fix yourself something to eat when you’re back from a business trip”

You giggle.

“Genya is the one who knows that?”

“Not hard to guess. You’re notoriously lazy”

“Careful now, Shinazugawa”

He deflates, a stupidly big hand running through silver locks, ruffling them up in the stressful process.

“I—” you think you hear a quiet murmur, something strangely similar to god fucking damn it “—they were homemade”

“I know they were” you can’t fight off the exasperated, smitten smile rising to your lips “thank you”

“Whatever” he gruffly mumbles “had a good trip?”

You hum, indulge in small talk that is still somehow safe territory for whatever it is you two are. Friends with benefits doesn’t really apply to the situation anymore, the friends part making you scrunch up your nose, heavily outweighed by the benefits part for some time now.

But there’s more to it. It’s in the way you stay over to take care of him when he’s sick, knowing all too well you’re gonna get sick in turn. It's in the way his hands hesitate when he greets you at the office each day, they're always aching to rise up and cradle your sweet face to kiss your lips good morning. Just like he’s been doing more and more often, in the comfort of his apartment, kisses and breakfasts a consequence of arms wrapping around you at night, to stop you from leaving.

While it feels like you’re both tiptoeing around something that started with no formal agreements and only a handful of boundaries, while you wonder if Sanemi is ever going to take the initiative with the same confidence he claims you in private, there’s only so much time you can spend exhausting yourself with silly questions.

“Hey, Nemi, what are you up to right now?”

“Hmm?” he doesn’t complete the grumpy story of how lavishly they were forced to greet a potential new partner visiting from Tokyo just that morning, some pretentious guy called Satori or Satoru “was reading a book when you called, why?”

“So, hypothetically speaking, if I was just outside you would open the door, right?”

There’s a pause and your cheeks are already hurting from how much you’re smiling. You can hear how he throws himself off the couch and toward the door, he swings it open right as the line goes silent, the reliance in that lavender stare not faltering for a second. Sanemi always believes you, doesn't ever spend useless seconds wondering if you're being serious or not. If you wanted to convince him that the sun wouldn’t rise anymore unless he kissed you, he’d click his tongue and gravely argue that he’d never want to leave the earth in the dark for a second too long.

“What are you doin’ here?” he’s already pulling you inside, tugging at the hem of your lilac skirt, features softening as it always happens when you’re there to give him a reason “thought we were supposed to go out later tonight”

“I wanted to see you. Tonight was too far away in time” you grin when Sanemi playfully rolls his eyes and lazily wrap your arms around his neck as he shuts the door behind you with a kick.

“That’s not very patient of you” he mumbles into the curve of your shoulder, words barely audible from how tightly he has you enveloped in his arms, tight enough to squeeze a little oof and an airy laugh out of you.

“Forgive me, but I’m not feeling very patient right now” you whisper back, tousling your fingers through his hair. You’re pretty sure Sanemi conceals a groan against your skin, or he tries to, as he pulls you flush against his hard body.

“Neither am I”

[indiweb]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ SEXCAPADES ON THE HOOD ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀feat. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ satoru gojō.

⠀⠀⠀" winning yet another glorious victory , satoru takes ⠀⠀⠀ home two prizes ; you , and a fat ass wad of cash. "

<– [ BACK ] : HOME [ NEXT ] : MLIST ㅤ→

明示的 ⌇ nsfw. fem!reader. pwp. criminal activity. car chase. drug mentions. intoxication influence. piv. public sεx. overstimulation. manhandling.⠀ ( wc. 1.7k )

SINCERELY , YOURS TRULY Ξ ©INDIWEB, 2024

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⭒

ACT ONE⠀|⠀1:06 AM

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Nights with your boyfriend , the infamous Satoru “Speeddemon” Gojo , were an entire whirl wind of their own. there was no telling whether or not you’d end up propped atop his shoulders with the entirety of his team cheering both of you on for yet another one of his victories he scored in his pretentious Nissan Skyline GT-R R34. or , being high off your ass from hitting multiple blunts on Shoko’s tits that you could barely configure where you even were to begin with. and , in this case , you were caught in both scenarios.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀though , at first , your night started off like any other ordinary college students. you were propped up on your bed ; laid on your stomach , with your lecture books all open scattered around you , your mind entirely focused on finishing the past due assignments you had. thanks to the fresh blunt you’d taken a few hits from prior , courtesy of the woman herself (Shoko).

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀her and the guys weren’t in college like you , they were a bit older. but they knew the struggles of studying ‘til one am just to barely pass the upcoming test. so , she offered you something to let off steam while you were being the diligently hard working student you were.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀you’d been mid-reading when a box shot through your peeked open window , startling you near death all the while a slight yelp hurdled from your once sealed plump lips. a few chuckles from outside your window were followed by your actions , your body absentmindedly pushing yourself off the mattress to go see what exactly was thrown into your room. when you observed it , a snarky eye roll was seen dancing it’s way across your face prior to tossing the box onto your bed.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀you swore it was the frat boys attempting to mess with you again , much like they’ve been doing since forever , but the minute your eyes laid upon the familiar thin-laced piece of blue lingerie you were eyeballing while out with Satoru , you knew damn well who was laughing outside your third story window.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀" fucking asshole! don’t scare me like that! " you whisper-yelled at your lover , a wink and kissy face being sent your way as he had an arm wrapped around Suguru’s shoulders ; the one person who’d genuinely be your only competition for Satoru’s love.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀" m’sorry , baby , just wanted to surprise you , " a lighthearted chuckle seethed into his words , earning yet another eye roll from yours truly.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀the skimpy little pink blouse you wore as pajamas briskly blew with the wind that pierced through your window , Satoru narrowing his eyes at you to get back inside before Suguru saw something that was solely reserved for him.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀a leering grin shaped Suguru at the sight , you laughing at how it didn’t even take a second before Satoru took notice and burried his fist into Suguru’s chest. the man was well aware of the fact Suguru had absolutely no chance with you , you both saw one another as siblings. but that didn’t stop you from enjoying how protective Satoru was and fucking with him about it.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀regardless , Suguru had a woman of his own that he’d destroy the world for , anyways. he had no interest in meddling with his best friends profound love for you when his dearest Yasmin awaited his arrival at the lot.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀" get dressed , we got a D-R , "

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀" and what makes you think i’d wanna go? " you protested out of spite , knowing damn well you loved street races just as much as he did. maybe even more.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀a deadpan stare was shot your way from Satoru , the man tilting his head at your persistence all the while Suguru stood idly ; chuckles sounding their way into your altercation.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀" don’t make me drag your ass to my car , " he bickered , Suguru , much like always , entertained by your arguments.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀" ay dío- cálmate , maldito culo. " ( oh my- calm down you fucking ass. )

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀just to piss him off , you wore your cutest skin-tight outfit that flaunted each and every beautiful curve you had to offer. it was your signature style. the look that had Satoru turning in your direction in the first place. him , plus everyone else in the lot , including Shoko herself. but , that was a whole different story to unfold.

⠀

SHE’S BLOODY, SHE’S SWEET,

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀𐚁֙

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ SHE’S STRAWBABY JAM !

⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀your nights were always some form of a blur any time you accompanied Satoru at the lot. they seemingly consisted of being surrounded by Shoko and taking shots with her friends , joining Aoi and the other freshman at your school in a hot box session before alas finding yourself perkily propped along Satoru’s shoulders whilst he’s praised and cheered for winning yet another D-Race. it was bound to happen. he’s never lost a single competition. at least , not while you’ve been dating him. only people who’re even close to being on-par with him are Shoko and Suguru , yet they’ve never been able to beat him. only close enough.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀and , much like every other eventful night with the man , he takes you home around three am. you can’t help but lay your head against the door , engulfed in the suffocating wind that blows past every fiber on your body. the intoxicating odor that’s melted into the breezes doesn’t help your semi-empty stomach either , the stench of fresh barbecue being roasted in the night markets you’re zipping by.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Satoru’s hand rests tediously along your exposed thigh , pinky pushing its limits and vaguely rubbing the thin layer of skin that resides beneath the brim of your shorts.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀however , this time around , the night officers were on-watch even more cautiously that before. they thought they’d be able to tail down the one man who had every department in the continent in shambles. they had balls , you had to give them that. it was humorous seeing them barely being able to keep up with Satoru meandering between lanes. you couldn’t help but let out a few slurred giggles , your noises being music to the man’s ears as he sped up his chase and started drifting corners to get away.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀you adored fast cars and Satoru knew that all too well. he always jumped at the opportunity to drive fast , so when he heard your murmured noises , he didn’t hesitate not one second to shoot from 100 to 180k.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀the adrenaline rush you got from the small chase alone would kill a victorian child , but the actions that followed after you lost them in a crowd would massacre an entire bloodline.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Satoru had you sprawled out along the hood of his precious beauty , upper body hunched over to meet your face all the while you two ravaged each others mouths. sparks shot from the top layer of your lips , and you couldn’t tell if it was from the erotic tension that surged the air around you , or the mixture of drugs and alcohol that ran miles through your bloodstream.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀either way , you could care less because it made everything so much hotter. especially with how puttered stammers of whines extruded Satoru’s lips with each pump you dragged along the girth of his base. your savage and hunger-filled kisses were matched with slow and leisured strokes edging his pulsating erection. you couldn’t lie , his pathetic noises had every hair on your body standing like pin needles. you wanted more. you needed more. you craved to have him buried so deep in you that he’d get lost in undoubted rapture.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀so that’s exactly what he did.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀he filled you up oh-so perfectly. like you were hand crafted by the gods just to be his cocksleeve. his own personal fleshlight that he could mold into the shape of his dick with every thrust. and you’d gladly let him do as he pleased. you wanted him just as much as he needed you. you loved being stuffed with his dick , like a pig at a carne asada on a breezy summer day.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀you adored how he handled you with such care through his hands , fingertips breaking skin along your plump thighs all the while he abused your greedy cunt relentlessly. the only thing you could possibly do was interlock your slender fingers in his luscious curls , pleas and cries of mercy sputtering through every other hiccup that choked through. Satoru matched them with tender pecks along your jawline , fingers raking the delicate skin on his shoulder blades every time his hips kissed your own.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀missionary wasn’t typically your cup of tea , but whenever he spread your legs open so perfectly just so he had access to fuck you balls deep , your mind was too much of a mushed mess to protest otherwise. all you could do was obediently take all of it whilst your hazed eyes stared up at the starry-night sky that decorated the view above.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀it never mattered how many rounds you went , Satoru wasn’t going to stop until you uttered the safe word you two had come up with. you could paint his dick an entire new shade of white , and he’d still meet your hips with his own to shove the juices back into your overwhelmed walls. he could go all day if he had the chance , just as long as you were in undeniable pleasure , he didn’t care. his end of the deal was how you whimpered his name so tenderly , so lovingly , it drove him mad. he wanted you to repeat it every time he rutted into you. if he could he’d fuck you senseless so that the only word you’d be able to utter was his name and his name alone.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀he’d do anything to show you how much he need you like he needed oxygen. whether it be overwhelm your entire being with such pleasure that all you could possibly think about was how his thick erection dragged along your delicious walls , or spoil you in the finest materialistic items that you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⭒

⠀MUCHOS GRACIAS FOR USING ©INDISPACE PROGRAMS

[nonadreamsnworse]

whumper capturing the smart guy of the team. taking away the heart of the team is one thing, they can barely hold it together without someone on morale boosting duty but taking the guy that keeps the whole operation running on a technical level? the team would have extra trouble stopping whumper's plans then, much less getting whumpee back

not to mention there's something about breaking down a whumpee that knows how all these tricks, tactics and torture works. whumpee knows they're being manipulated and slowly just doesn't give a damn anymore. on a logical level, whumpee knows whumper's just trying to break their spirits when they say their team's given up looking for them but is it any different from the fact their team probably can't get them back at all?

not to mention the smart guy is usually the physically weakest and most brittle so whumper really relishes in their cries since whumpee's usually not in the middle of all the action and their pained look is just such a sight for sore eyes. they'd be so defiant at first, whumpee's a smartass and they're being extra pretentious in hopes of the slim chance whumper just gets so annoyed with them they let them go or just kill them already.

and whumpee knows whumper's probably not gonna kill them and they're more valuable to whumper alive than dead but eventually breaks and tells whumper whatever information they're trying to coax out of whumpee and eventually whumpee just hopes whumper's actually gonna go through with pulling the trigger already but the threat of more pain and hurt in place of death still does the trick whenever whumper needs something from whumpee.

[deconstructivesurgery]

listen i haven't posted seriously in long-form about bg3 in a hot minute but i've been getting back into it bit by bit and i'm still on my gale and astarion shit.

not the "they hate each other but they love each other" stuff or the "toxic yaoi" (although it is funny to me sometimes) dynamic people seem to typically slap onto them, but rather just- whether you wish to see it in a romantic light or not- the pure potential for a true bitchy wine aunt relationship that lies there.

not only do i think they genuinely like each other in a surprisingly uncomplicated way at times despite how complicated both of them are personally, i will die on the hill of them just being... a bit snobbish together. bitching about wine or food that astarion can't even taste (won't stop him from insulting something based on look alone), reading and reviewing books together, perpetually remaining pretentious about architecture and style in distinctly different ways (grand and gothic versus the absolute hullabaloo of softer maximalism that i can see gale enjoying).

i can see in their good endings an outcome where once in a blue moon a vaguely irritable Newly Minted Adventurer/Locally Morally Dubious Hero Astarion Ancunin occasionally manifests his merry little self at one Prof. Gale Dekarios' door because what IS he there for if not to serve as a free-to-access resource of magical aid anytime he encounters some sort of odd curse or magical foe or what-have-you that he isn't well-versed in. who else is going to gleefully and without question provide him with enchanted weapons that most people would look at with concern. to boot, who else is going to provide said things while also being a good conversation partner.

if he happens to dredge up odd magical shit once in a while while he's romping around the country and drops it off at gale's doorstep (chance of spontaneous combustion, mad howling emanating from a haunted amulet, etc. be damned) every so often, it's only fair.

people love the drama that comes with a less stable outcome to their relationship, and that's entirely fair if that's the dynamic that you prefer out of these characters, but i think the potential for just genuine non-spiteful banter and connection is often overlooked. i think, at very least, that they could and should be good lasting friends. send tweet

[widowmaxff]

caught

pairings: yelena belova × fem!reader | natasha romanoff × fem!reader (platonic)

warnings: smut implied (character just being in underwear, kisses on skin, hickeys, nothing gets more intimate than that), getting caught

The low sounds that came out of your mouth and the wet kisses she left across your bust were the only thing that could be heard in her room. She looks at the purple marks left on her girlfriend's body, a growl comes out of her mouth, making your body shudder.

"Can I?" Yelena whispers to you, who smiles before nodding your head in confirmation. Her hands go to the girl's shorts, taking no time to remove them and throw them in a corner somewhere.

She looks up and down the red lingerie her girlfriend wore, giving you a pretentious smile. Your face was as red as the set you were dressing. Your hair was messy, falling on your shoulders, making you look more beautiful than you already are, Yelena thought. But before she could do anything to you, a loud knock on the door made the two of you quickly separate.

"Yelena, can I come in?" It was her sister, Natasha Romanoff, who consequently didn't know about your relationship with Yelena, much less that she liked girls.

"Huh, wait a second!"

You panicked not knowing what to do. She dragged you to the bathroom of her room and closed the door before throwing the girl's clothes under the bed. She tried to fix her hair before taking a deep breath and walking to the door, unlocking it and giving her sister space to enter. "I came to tell you that dinner is ready, everyone is already there."

"Oh! Okay, I won't take long to go." Yelena stutters, making Natasha look at her with furrowed eyebrows. She doesn't say anything else, even giving your girlfriend a confused look before closing the bedroom door. She lets out a deep sigh. The bathroom door opens and your head pokes out. You laughs and walks towards her, seeing how nervous she was. "I thought I was going to have a heart attack in front of my sister."

And before you could even respond, the door opens again with a loud noise, making you both startled. Natasha crosses her arms before walking towards you. Your heart seemed to stop for a second, your throat closed, and tour skin turned pale. "Y/n, I didn't know you were here."

"I was using the bathroom, Nat. But, I heard you perfectly, so let's go to have dinner!" You try to escape but her sister puts herself in front of you, leaving you with no choice but to face her.

"Are you going without your clothes for dinner?" Your cheeks turn pink when you look down and realize that you were only wearing your red set. "Why are you without them?"

"Oh, Y/n was trying on some of my clothes that I no longer wanted to see if she would like them!" Yelena quickly lie, thinking that her sister wouldn't think of anything beyond that.

"You're doing that, Yelena."

"'That' what?"

"When you get nervous, your lips tremble. And when you lie, you can't stop touching your shirt." When her eyes went down, she noticed her fingers were almost white because she was holding her shirt so tightly. Damn, she hated how well sister knew her, of course.

When neither of you responds further, she lets out a deep sigh before looking into both of your eyes. "We're going to have dinner and when you're done eating, I want you two in my bedroom to talk, you hear me?"

Neither of you respond, you just nod your head quickly, waiting for a meteor to fall on the room, because that was so embarrassing that it made you want to die right there in front of your girlfriend's sister.

You wait for something to happen, Natasha continues to stare at Yelena, until she realizes that you need your clothes to go to have dinner. So, she bend down towards her bed quickly taking them in her hands and embarrassedly returning them to you. You thank her with a smile before slipping the shirt over your head and your shorts down your legs.

Natasha sighs before giving the two of you space to leave the room. She follows behind you and your girlfriend, as if she were a private guard. You almost didn't even move, afraid that if you made one wrong move, your girlfriend's sister would kill you right there.

You released the breath you didn't even know you were holding out of your lungs when you reached the dining room. Yelena sat in the chair next to Clint, it didn't take long for Natasha to join her. You sat down next to Wanda, who soon noticed you hyperventilating and bouncing your leg up and down nervously.

"Is everything okay?" She whispers to you. Your head just nods, not trusting your voice at the moment. Dinner passes peacefully, but you can still feel Natasha's gaze on you. As the seconds passed, you became even more nervous and afraid that your girlfriend's sister would jump on your neck at some point.

When people started to leave the table, you started eating faster so that you didn't have to be alone with the two sisters, even if you had to face it at some point. "Hey, calm down. The food isn't going to run off your plate." Natasha's voice made you almost spit out all the food from your mouth. You look up and realize that there are only the three of you in the room. "I'll be waiting for you two in my room." And then, she gets up, but before leaving she gives you both a death glare.

[...]

"It's going to be okay, love." Yelena tells you, kissing your head as an act to try and calm you down.

"Natasha is going to kill me!" you whisper between your panting breaths making your girlfriend laugh. "Shh, she won't. Let's go in so it can all be over quicker."

You almost regret entering the room. Natasha was sitting on her bed with her arms crossed and a look that made you want to run away from that place. Yelena held your hand before walking closer to her sister. "I'm not going to say that I was surprised to see... you almost naked in my sister's room." Your face turns redder than Natasha's hair. "And I'm also not going to say that I didn't suspected about you two. Especially you, Y/n." You once again feel your face heat up in embarrassment.

"But I just wanted to know why you never told me about it?" None of you knew the answer. Maybe you were just scared of her reaction? Or scared of how the outside world would react about two women getting together. "I don't know, Nat." Yelena whispers.

Natasha walks towards the two of you, embracing your bodies together in a tight hug. You feel your girlfriend's body relax with the act, making yours do the same. "I know you two are afraid of what might happen from now on, but know that I will always support you two in whatever you decide, okay?"

"Thanks for understanding, Nat. I really thought you were going to kill me." You joke. Natasha chuckles before leaving a kiss on each of the two of your foreheads. "Know that I will really kill you if you do anything bad to my sister, understand?"

"Yes, ma'am!"

[leiflitter]

Icarus Descending to the Learned Satyr; or, Felix, stop being so fucking pretentious, why the hell did you commission this anyway?

To see in extra-extra large, click here!

This has absolutely been a bonkers labor of love but DAMN LOOK AT IT. Not bad for a first go at pseudo-baroque-ish-oil-painting-but-digital, right?

[crimsonxe]

I should've known after so many good playthroughs with people enjoying the Hex quest; there'd inevitably be that one person that bitches and whines about every.single.detail. of it. Down to stopping at a vending machine to bitch cause the reflection on the glass that most would completely ignore isn't properly reflecting. Whining over the story not spoonfeeding the PC and ngl his comments about Aoi really fucking pissing me off. Undoubtedly today is "run across all the dumbasses" day. This level of pathetic pettiness really does remind me why I constantly find myself relating RWBY & Warframe; cause the same damn things fit. Pretentious asshole that for one reason or another wants to look for reasons to have an issue. Though I suppose I did get to see a Destiny 2 player's mindblown by Nightwave being a free battle pass system, so not a complete shitshow of a day.

[itsmorpheusho]

tw: war,politics

hey yall. watch the matrix if you doubt shit. it's not real DUH, but my bro morpheus got some good advice. and don't listen to the red piller ignorant repubs. they don't know they're on the blue, they think they're woke, but they call us that and are just projecting how they're not. everything's a code. shifting is a formula and to do it, its pretty much belief + yourself = shift. rage against the machine be real asf- wake up. trippy shit, but seriously, some of these fictional dystopian realities, are actually damn near non fiction. not totally, because it's fiction, but it's not to far off. if it's hard? simplify it. nothing is hard. it's just your perception of it. apply murphy's law = if it can happen, it will. we all know for a fact shifting is real and you CAN do it, so therefore you will. if you reverse murphy's law, and think you can't, then damn straight- you can't shift. but if you believe you can? you will dumb ass. law means law. it might take your time to reprogram your mind with all of the bullshit limits SOCIETYAHUAHFU/j has put on you, but let's be so fr. we are so conditioned to be nihilist. i woke up from that. now im persuing being a fucking engineer as a WOMAN and im joining the military that's been a dream of mine. though there are war threats, i know, i'm not stopping myself from denying myself of my dreams and im going to make something out of myself here. i have finally come to terms with this shit cr. i just said fuck it and i raised my gpa hell, changed my major and i am getting out of my abusive household. they said i couldn't but i can. they made me think school was stupid. but i realized who i was, am- a pretentious smartass nerd who was just insecure about it, i didn't try. i dug myself into a hole because i wanted to be a cool art major, when i am a fucking logician. i was drowning but i got out. if i can realize that? i can shift bro. i can enter the void bro. im getting out before fuck ass trump becomes president so i can persue being a badass engineer nasa bitch in my home reality without the constant threat of war nagging at my back. because it's like we are in the fucking interstellar film, our world is going to shit. so? im leaving. so i can be financially free, have my Ph.D. already. i also made myself a Yale graduate there because I could have done it here, but I fucked up my grades because i listened to those who said i couldn't, because I'm a woman, it's too hard, and I didn't try. now i will never stop trying. the spiraling doom of donald j for joke trump and war with my job won't stop me either. my country is headed into shit and im not gonna see it, the worse it gets on the news the closer i get to waking up home. FUCK THAT, i have already entered the void and I am home. fuck the red pillers. they are the blue pillers. im not staying in a reality where they send me off to who knows where to fight for who knows who when I just want to be a pilot, work for nasa or something, make my grandpa proud that i finally joined the navy. in my reality my service is done, im loved and feel free. no more war. in 2025 lets gtfo. watch the matrix, blade runner, interstellar, whatever to motivate yourself. they all realized they had it in them all along. the red pillers? the dumb ass repubs? they're calling themselves that because they are quite simply projecting, because they know they are NOT that. they are the people turning my country to shit. idc if they call me woke. im leaving either way. im not giving up either. you either are or you aren't, you believe or you don't, sure its getting me a minute to wake up from my nihilist ass ways, my logical ass formula reliant ass brain: but if you are like me and you dread the future here- stop. your shifting tonight, which equals you wont be here. everything is math. so why do you care? stop worrying. murphys law. you can shift. you can enter the void. so you WILL. say goodbye, because you are already gone. think of shifting, understand it and turn it into a formula you can understand. make it easy for yourself. dumbass.