#get my life

[yoan-le-grall]

[getmylife]

Notes - Reality Vs. Goals

Completed March 18 2023

Reality

I did therapy for a bit after college and it helped me realize that for the past ten years I’ve been actively avoiding being left alone with my thoughts. I don’t let myself feel any negative emotions and beat myself up a lot when it comes to being human and imperfect.

I have grown a lot since I sat in those chairs, but I still have a long way to go. I want to figure out who I am and love her again. I want to be the best version of myself.

That requires a lot of energy, so hopefully all the other areas I’m working on will fuel this one. But also I think scheduling deliberately to reflect and examine my belief systems and behaviours will help to lead me in the right direction.

I’ve already started doing the self-evaluations. I don’t do my affirmations, write in my prayer or dream journal or write in my reflections journal anywhere close to daily or weekly anymore.

I usually don’t let myself sit and contemplate for too long and scroll instead.

Habits to Develop By the End of the Year:

Weekly self-evaluation

Quarterly journal challenge

Daily and weekly tracking

Monthly and quarterly evaluation

Bonus: Quarterly scrapbook

[sadclowncentral]

shoutout to the guy who after unsuccessfully hitting on my sister and being politely declined asked her "is it okay if i ask your brother instead" and when she said yes gave me a long and searching look before sighing and going "no. i am not drunk enough to go for a dude. but you look like an angel" happy bisexual pride to this man and this man only. hope you figure it out soon king

[tariah23]

Oh…. Well, it’s over for Crunchyroll I guess

[do-you-know-this-queer-character]

Do you know this queer character?

Castiel is Queer and Agender or Genderfluid, and uses varying pronouns based on presentation!

[christadeguchi]

(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)

[thunderon]

so my roommate is completely straight edge like no drugs no alcohol etc and so im sure y’all can imagine my surprise when i saw she brought home this sign

so i immediately inquired

and now you may ask. what the fuck did my roommate think that sign meant? well

anyways i moved the sign so it’s now front and center in our living room and ive been laughing every time i pass it

[hansoeii]

we go just right.

[nicktoonsunite]

shrugs

[novaneondream]

Anyways what kind of music do you think Eri listens to

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

[softhe4rted]

first read on @exitmusicfrafilm’s post about 2023

[getmylife]

Quotes - Reality Vs. Goals

Completed March 18 2023

Reality

I have a great desire to read classics and educational books, but I struggle with the longer classics and nonfiction because of my attention span. I don’t know how to read non fiction in a more cursory way like I do with fiction and it stresses me out when I’m not paying rapt attention to what I’m reading. 

It’s also possible that the books I “want” to read are really just books I want to have read because I think they’ll make me look smart or impress people when I tell them I’ve read them.

But also there are some books that I think reading them will improve my life, but I want to sit down at a desk with a notebook and take notes and write thoughts, but I haven’t made the time to do that and I’m not sure it would actually be fun. No one is asking me to do this so I don’t really want to force myself, but I do want to learn.

I’m also embarrassed at how little history I know. So I want to fix that.

Habits to Develop By the End of the Year:

Quarterly non-fiction book review

Quarterly course/series/learning topic (YouTube or other)

Quarterly shopping for new read(s)

Monthly entry in reading/media consumption journal

Bonus: Monthly podcast catch up

[laughingcatwrites]

As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.

For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.

But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.

Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.

[extravapalooza]

scans from a minizine from late last year! risograph with collage. part of a bigger project on trans relationships to the body thru cyborgs but i got distracted making pinups

more scans

[nouverx]

*proceeds to drink the whole bottle*

Yeah Alastor you're gonna be loved and appreciated wether you want it or not :)