#get in the FUCKING CAR

[service4cops]

Officer: "So I hear you go down?"

Me: "That's original [grinning]" (I don't know why I said it, it just kinda came out, and I immediately regretted the smirk)

Officer: "Funny. How about we take a ride downtown?"

Well that soon wiped the smile off my face.

Officer: "Yeah, though not. Now get in the fucking car and make it up to me."

Me: "You mean . . .?"

Officer: "I'm gonna unzip, and you're gonna go down, suck my fucking dick, and put a smile on my face."

Now that I could do.

He was pretty aggressive and very verbal throughout, forcibly holding down my head as he spewed, issuing a non-negotiable "stay the fuck down and swallow!" command, which was absolutely to be obeyed.

When he finally let up, he said, "I expect a little more cooperation next time. Now get the fuck out" before heading back out on duty.

I saw him two days later coming out of a service station on the outskirts of town. "How about a little cooperation?" he barked, curtly, motioning for me to follow him around the back. He leaned back against a wall and unzipped, as I dropped to my knees, looked up, and said "I'll cooperate in any way you like". "I know you will", he sighed, effortlessly gliding my mouth over his shaft and rhythmically using my mouth to relieve himself of his load, only this time it was a little gentler and a much quicker.

Now that he knows he can get what he wants, when he wants it, and how he wants it, he'll call on me for regular service.

[rsanchezc137]

real shit morty unrelated do we need to get you back on antidepressants or what

[amethystroselily]

Surprised Tavvy wasn’t already dead when they got there. They were taking their sweet fucking time listening to Kieran exposition dump (all information that could probably have been shared AFTER they saved their seven year old brother from becoming a human sacrifice by a man he trusts)

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

[boombaux]

dick picking jason up from a random address like a divorced mother picking her child up from school

[brainrotcharacters]

the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.

[squidsmeister]

dungeon meshi is my favorite road-trip comedy film

[lazylittledragon]

y'know every time i feel guilty about bothering someone by singing along when i'm listening to music, i just remember that i have to tolerate my dirtbag brother screaming at his ps5 for hours every day so listening to muffled off-key fall out boy is probably preferable

[oscahpitlane]

mclaren P1 in the Gingerbread Grand Prix goes to Oscar Piastri. 😆🍭

Sometimes babygirl is a 23 year old man doing his best

[violent138]

When the Robins were too young to convincingly pass as drivers, they'd always insist that Bruce drive them to school or anyplace they were running late to, because Bruce's extensive illegal racing experience meant they were guaranteed to make it there on time. Or even early sometimes.

[grinchwrapsupreme]

shawn's deep trust of lassiter keeps catching me so off-guard like when he's held captive and lassie and henry both turn up he tries to yell "carlton" not "dad" and when he sees a guy with a gun come into the restaurant he goes straight for lassie and keeps trying to get his attention instead of literally any of the other dozens of cops in the room with them and when he's telling someone to call the police he tells them to ask for lassiter, not jules, not vick, lassiter. like he spends all his time provoking lassie but the second there's danger there's literally no one else he trusts more

[velvetwyrme]

which deception would have an sti AND fuck cars?

in reference to: https://www.tumblr.com/penny-anna/767952128217104384/imagine-youre-a-mechanic-in-the-transformers?source=share

okay. so. first off. anon, thank you for sending me this because the idea that you read that post and just went- "hey, you know who i should pose this question to?" and sent it to me- is hysterical and i lvoe u.

anyway theres also a Texty answer under the cut if you want to read that, because i genuinely DO have thoughts about this, but i wanted to draw that comic because this ask made me laugh very hard when i saw it in my inbox.

also, the thrilling conclusion of the comic answer:

he fucked that car!!!!!!!

hi! Texty time. I think a lot of them would have/be one but not the other (either has a STI or is a Carfucker) but i included some of those here anyway because i think my thought process was funny for some of them. this is all purely my own opinions etc. etc. no basis for anything only vibes. i went through a lot of options and came to a lot of conclusions.

to reiterate the Chart for claritys sake:

Soundwave: No STI and no Carfucking. This is true across all versions of Soundwave imo. Rumble and Frenzy are a solid no on the STI front and a solid yes on the Carfucking.

Starscream: no STI, no Carfucking (despite what Soundwave thinks). TFP!Starscream specifically might have an STI though. Sorry man. Skywarp definitely has/had a STI but gets it treated on account of his trinemates. No Carfucking. Thundercracker would fuck a car but doesn't have an STI.

Shockwave: ??? - I'm not sure I want to know. "Once, as part of an experiment" was the original thing I wrote for his answer lol. True across continuities as well.

Anyway. moving on...

My actual answer for Megatron: REALLY depends on continuity. Here's a sample:

G1? Yeah, probably both. I can see it.

IDW/MTMTE? Nah. Maybe? ... Nah. I feel like if he had an STI it'd have been back when he was a miner. Would not fuck a car.

Earthspark? I feel like no STI but yes to the Carfucking. Except he feels really guilty about it after. I still haven't watched ES but this is the impression I get from him.

TFA? oh god. i don't know... i don't know....... he probably fucks cars. No STI.

TFP? Yeah absolutely are u kidding me? Yes to both.

Constructicons: I feel like they'd be a yes to both, but not at the same time, so they wouldn't have been the one/s to transmit a STI to a car. Also Hook would be ON TOP of treatment. Once they ALL got infected after combining into Devastator, and that was miserable for everyone. Nobody has fessed up to being the one who had it in the first place, but now they have treatment on hand just in case.

Also while on the topic of combiners... I think some of the Stunticons are also pretty good candidates for STI/Carfucking. Motormaster, Drag Strip and Wildrider in particular shfkgbekfbk

I considered Tarn/The DJD and Overlord just because of how freaky them guys can get, but I think Tarn runs too tight a ship for that to happen, and Overlord is preoccupied with. worse things. The Scavengers on the other hand... sorry to Misfire, I can see him giving a car a STI. Relatedly, Grimlock would fuck a car but not have an STI.

Who else................................ wait.

Astrotrain. I can see it. Okay bye im going to sleep this took me too long to reply to fhfjfbrmfbdj

[rsanchezc137]

god these fuckin assholes. this whole website is a hellhole.

[starry-bi-sky]

i think i'm hilarious -- aka i made blood blossom danny au memes

all of these come from my DpxDC prompt "i am pushing the batdad agenda--" and it's corresponding additions in the reblogs ksdjlf.

i am. rotating them in my head. forever and always. personally i think there should be more batdad aus in dpxdc, their dynamic could be neat. :)

[dudeslut]

Really in the mood to drive out to a secluded area in the woods and then get bent over the hood of the car and fucked mercilessly. Starting out with my back against the car as they finger-fuck my hole open until I'm begging for their cock. Then they flip me over, push my top half down onto the hood and pull my hips towards them. Finally sinking their huge dripping cock into my needy hole while I bite my lip to stifle my moaning. They start fucking me at a brutal pace and slap my ass telling me, "aww don't worry, there's no one here but me to hear you, baby. So how about you stop holding back those slutty noises I love so much?"

[muzsmocsing]

Svsss is the funniest book ever written and I'm tired of pretending it's not

Chapter 17 is a ride. Shen Qingqiu's non-threesome fiasco was fantastic. But while all that was happening Liu Qingge was on a whole Liam Neeson Taken journey and we need to discuss that because I can't fucking breathe:

Luo Binghe kidnaps Shen Qingqiu, Liu Qingge goes "count your days bitch", powers up to the max and singlehandedly massacres his territory.

He doesn't find his beloved frenemy coworker there but he runs into Shang Qinghua. He's about to interrogate him in the only language he's fluent in (violence) but he doesn't even get to raise a fist before he frantically spills every last detail of Shen Qingqiu's whereabouts.

After he's satisfied he's like "Nice. I shall strangle the traitor now." But the guy just falls on his knees?? And clings to Liu Qingge's thigh and just starts sobbing?? Gets snot all over his robes???

Before he can put an end to that mess, PLOT TWIST apparently Shang Qinghua has domesticated Mobei-jun while no one was looking?? All the crying and the clapping of his asscheeks alerts the demon that something's up and he comes do defend his pet hamster.

It's kind of a holdup on the rescue mission but they fight and they fully level half of Luo Binghe's crib in the process.

After that, he gets to the southern border. Fights some disgusting blood clot animals and successfully snatches his shixiong back, time for quality quiet time together! Perhaps some sparring!

But NO. The mission is too successful and got an unfortunate add-on: the weirdo bitch who slept with Shen Qingqiu's corpse for 5 YEARS came along??? The one he battled for just as long to get it back??? And now they're attached??? And trust each other???

Too tired to fight this reality he watches as the demon bastard peacefully naps on Shen Qingqiu's shoulder. Grinding his teeth.

ALL THIS IN THREE (3) PAGES.