#gerry you are so fucking attractive to me

[honkygay]

aye aye aye listened to 80’s music whilst drawing gerry :3

woe, gay boy be upon ye

[akajustmerry]

I remember seeing somewhere you think of romangerri as a tragic mentor/apprentice dynamic and I really want to know more about that, if you feel like answering. mwah!

yeah well, you know...... that's why the whole "i could have got you there. But no" line is so devastating, right? because she could have if roman's attraction/obsession with her wasn't such an exploitative corrosion on their mentoring partnership. obviously, roman betrays the potential and trust gerri sees in him with those pics which i think for gerri was the final straw when it came to putting up with his sexual harassment. this is succession though and no betrayal is strictly one-way. i do think gerri was initially quite happy to use roman to serve her own interests and those of the company. using the sort of framework of mentoring him, she essentially deployed him to do these risky things like getting lawrence and matsson and eduard onside for wystar knowing if it didn't work logan would punish roman, but if it did they would all benefit. you can really see this in ep 1 of season 4 where without the kids around to send in as logan's punching bags, the old guard are kind of scrambling to stay out of his way. now obviously, i am not blaming gerri for roman's harassment (as someone whose been a victim of that, you'd catch me dead). i think it's more that she thought she could leverage his obsession with her as a way of gaining more soft power in the company through him, but ultimately she doesn't have the power in that relationship to do that. even if she can give him advice, make him do his homework, or get him off, etc roman both as a man and as the guy with his name on the building is the one with all the power. as we see he abuses that power to harass her. what makes it a tragedy is the admiration at the core of that relationship, the fact that these 2 somewhat overlooked people saw the potential in one another where most didn't was squandered, as all things are in succession, by abuse of power and influence. the care, the admiration even was there but it wasn't enough. because those things can't thrive in a place where only the opposite is valued. i don't see romangerri as a romance or whatever and not really sure why people do precisely because roman's "feelings" for gerri are what poisons their partnership. so to me its always a corrupted mentorship doomed from the beginning. if I've ever given impressions otherwise it's just because i am bisexual and kieran and j are hot as shit and they're both so fucking good at their jobs <3

[gregoftom]

"and hey they’ve been basically getting each other hard by proxy of dirty talking about women and probably saying what they’d do, mostly tom bc greg doesn’t know shit about it, and getting off on it so… that’s Kinda fucking lol"

oh god now you're making me think about -- and I can't believe I haven't thought about it before -- them having phone sex. like still in the era where it's like. just talking dirty about what they've done or would do with women. like 4x1. but with the barrier of the phone and being in different places (but the intimacy of having their voice right at their ear) they could and would actually touch themselves about it. and I don't think they'd let on they knew that was happening even if they did pick up on the other doing it, the hitched breaths, the breathy words, the loss of coherent sentences, the 'yeah's and 'mhm's and silences but staying on the line because they're getting off. (and maybe tom would call greg a dirty boy, say 'did you just get off on that, gregory?' ...maybe he would play into it in person. the little horny power trip that it is. but maybe he'd be too scared to if he got off on it as well, and just leave it unsaid, like so much of their sexual attraction is unsaid and done through proxy. another line crossed that can't be mentioned. that just adds to the frustration.)

anyway they could really learn a thing or two from roman and gerri lmao. or just exchange notes

SHAJDHAJSH omg yesss god listen. i'm not Wildly into phone sex in general but oh my God it works for them soooo well in multiple circumstances. they absolutely Would do that and technicaaaalllly that's stiiiiill not reaaaaally doing it, bc they're not touching each other. so the post first time sleeping together would still be in play. in fact it would make it all the more intense, the desperation and pure want for one another, to be so close yet so far. and we know tom feels safer to be more honest on the phone with greg, like when after logan died. so he would. do that. i think. hhhhhh. and they would. play it out i think and then act like nothing's happened. they would just... yeah exactly. greg would definitely get off, clinging the phone tightly with a trembling hand to his ear, and tom might palm himself, but lose the nerve or the feeling of wanting to go for it, because of the shame. but maybe once. or twice. or more. times. he would, and greg would be so awkward but that just turns tom on all the more.

like, they could dance around it so easily. "did you just get off on that gregory?" "y.. yeah hah, the um, the situation, like with a girl that you were saying, man that'd be so hot... and like what if, you know, you were there too, and you took a turn right after me?" "don't be disgusting. you think i'm putting my dick anywhere you've had yours?" "mmh. oh, yeah that's, that's pretty nasty huh? but like, that's us right? we're nasty aren't we? you're disgusting with me, aren't you, tommy?" "fuck."

LITERALLY. AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasalsklsdksldklskdlskds hate they ass.

[katatonicimpression]

Monet/pietro

eh I was gonna cop out of answering this and then i just kind of kept going

right, so

He's her best official love interest since ev.

Overall I am positive but again i just kind of kept going...

Duggan's writing of it was straightforwardly bad sorry

Orlando so far has been better, even if it's just little moments (thus marking the third? Fourth? Fifth? time that he's taken over a storyline from gerry and done it better lol)

A fair amount of the fandom stuff on it has pissed me off*

I really don't see them lasting as a long term relationship for two reasons:

Pietro doesn't work in x-men books in the long term, and likewise I would be so mad if she got dragged away to be in his stuff/avengers stuff. It's very ororo/t'challa in that way. Some characters have arenas they need to operate in, and putting them together hurts their writing.

Secondly, maybe this is entirely a me thing but I just don't see them as being super in love or really having anything to talk to each other about. There's being different in a fun, opposites attract, way and then there's being different in a "I can't imagine these people chatting" kind of way. But again, that might just be the fact I don't actively ship it.

They have a potentially really interesting power dynamic. Like, he's older (not inappropriately so, but still significantly) and has way more experience with relationships specifically. But of course, she's rich. She's absurdly wealth and very posh, whereas he's from an improverished and incredibly marginalised background. They're staying in flats and hotel rooms that she's paying for. But of course she is marginalised on several axes as well, despite her obvious privilige. There's some interesting room for push and pull there. I've not seen anyone explore it.

*So, fandom-wise the first thing to say is connected to both duggan and point 8. I feel very uncomfortable with anything that portrays M as sexually aggressive and/or hypersexualises her in general. The former is all over uncanny avengers, and the latter is a substantial part of x-factor and uncanny xmen 2016. There's a fine line here, there's nuance. Monet is a sexy character, but she's sexy in a gorgeous supermodel kind of way - sometimes the portrayal veers very clearly into caricature, or is starkly different from how the white women are portrayed in the same series.

While I haven't seen a huge amount of this with the pietro thing, what I have seen is a lot of what duggan wrote - this really forceful, aggressive sexuality, lots of domtop characterisation and the like. And, sorry, no. Just because there are moments of very bad writing that have portrayed her like that in canon does not mean that it's actually in character. You would have thought that pietro fans would be more understanding of this, given how much bullshit writing he's gotten over the years.

Second thing, I keep seeing these people say "look at her taste in men" and pointing at sabretooth and guido and can you please shut the fuck up. Guido constantly berated her then beat her to death. She never liked him and what the fuck is wrong with you. And the sabretooth thing is out of character and part of another racist trend in her writing where she is portrayed as less vulnerable and specifcally less sexually vulnerable than her white peers. They wouldn't have written that storyline with husk. Hell, they wouldn't have even given it to jean.

There is no reason to think that M is resilient and wordly when it comes to sex and relationships, in fact she has very limited experience and it's almost all awful.

Which leads to the third point, I saw somebody (and I'm really not trying to call them out but urgh) argue that people bringing up the age gap between her and pietro are just coddling her because she's "autistic-coded" and are motivated by racial bias against pietro and that it's no big deal actually.

So, right... Easy one first: I think that the ship is good and fun and also think the age gap is important and should be remembered. I don't think it's no big deal, it is a big deal but not in a way that counts against it. It's a big deal in the sense that it makes it interesting.

Next, idk maybe there are people who are overly protective of Monet because she's autistic, but the majority of the fandom doesn't even know that about her. In fact, the majority of fandom treatment of monet is a) racist and b) whatever the opposite of coddling is. Careless?

When people are really protective of Monet it is almost always in defense of the long history of racist treatment by canon writers and, yes, the fandom. Again, this is something you would have thought a pietro fan would empathise with.

People are protective of Monet because she is a Black muslim woman in a world where both canon and fanon mistreat her for it.

And again, as i've said like a million times, I like the pairing. I think it's fine. If people would stop saying dumb things then I wouldn't have anything negative to say. It's just.. you know...

[thistle-and-thorn]

🍓, 🍊 & 🍑 please. x

🍓 What’s a fic you’ve written you feel is underrated?

my apocalypse series? i love this series. every single story in this is so important to me and granted i write for a small, dying ship but they also never have attracted a big audience and i just. i love them!!!

🍊 Who’s a character you don’t write for that often, but keep meaning to write for more? (They’re so interesting! But maybe you have trouble pinning them down, or keep getting distracted by another blorbo…)

okay, lannister sibling dynamics. i care about them so much but cersei and jaime are always ghosts in my fics and this is terribly unfair to them and their totally fucked-up-ness. i think about it constantly. and then i do nothing about it.

🍑 If you could make a connection between your favorite character and another work you care about (whether a crossover/fusion or a wonderfully “pretentious” literary reference) what would it be? How would it work?

okay. i need you to sit down and listen to me. roman roy as Teiresias. i don't know if you watched succession. but my theory is that the series finale like (spoken by roman) "we are not real people" does two things. it acknowledges that a. this is a fake show not happening in real life and b. they have never grown into identites beyond themselves. each roy sibling is enacting a different variety of tragedy. this means that they all are complicated, enacting different types of harm, playing out different tropes and references all simultaneously to each other. they can't connect because they are existing in separate doomed narratives.

kendall roy is pretending to be hamlet...being hamlet is easier. hamlet is self-righteous, innocent until he kills polonious, self-indulgent, self-destructive. he is the hero of his own story. this is an easier reality to face than the fact that kendall is just some guy. kendall isn't hamlet...he's just an average prick who killed a kid. and shiv does not allow him to finish the fantasy, does not give him a dramatic conclusion. he is haunted by a ghost--not of his father, but of the person who he killed. he thinks he's shakespearean but he's actually russian tragedy where you don't get to escape you just have to LIVE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE DONE. secondly, shiv is living out an ibsen play. dollhouse, yes, but also ghosts...which is all about inherited curses. the literal curse of being a woman, of sexual sin and indiscretion.

BUT ROMAN. ROMAN feels decidedly greek to me. roman's fate is always decided by people who are bigger and stronger than he is, it's pre-determined. "why couldn't it be me?" because you're a mortal amongst gods baby girl. his struggle and tragedy is about a loss of faith and the consequences of faith more than anything. i think a lot about aprohdite and helen's interactions in the illiad where helen, on the surface-level, makes choices but is compelled by aphrodite, implying that her consent is compromised. HELLO ROMAN FIRING GERRI ROMAN EXISTING ROMAN DOING WHATEVER

he's also the most plainly queer to me. I read an article once about the iliad about how women tend to serve as memory-keepers. roman is this to me. he remembers things about their childhood that the others have softened or forgotten (i.e. the dog cage, being the most prominent example). he mourns and weeps for his lost father. so he's living in a greek tragedy but he's not serving in a male role. you know who else existed as a different gender for a time.

TIERESIAS

he's not a hero, he's not the main character. he often observes the outside, telling the truth, predicting the failures of those around him. oh my god??? he's more participatory than a chorus...and his actions have critical ramifications on the plot and yet he's not the hero, his purpose is to contrast and comment on the action of the tragic protagonist (kendall) TIERESIAS IS THAT YOU

there's also just like. Moments. kendall goes for roman's eyes in the fight scene. you know what happened to tieresias. he was blinded for insolence to the gods. tieresias dies by drinking poisoned water. oh my god? like a martini. WE LEAVE ROMAN DRINKING. THIS IS WHERE THIS PART OF HIS LIFE DIES.

find me constantly here.

anyway, hi how are you how is your night going.

[aidansplaguewind]

I hope this isn't a weird question but what made you stop thirsting for Gerard Butler?

I dunno. I just lost interest. I'd love to say Aidan made me stop thirsting for Gerard Butler but truthfully it happened long before Aidan came along. I still posted his pics on here from time to time but the magic had been gone for a year or more before I switched over to Aidan, I just hadn’t found someone to take his place yet. I'm just not attracted to him in that way anymore.

And then I did find Aidan and I'm more attracted to him than I ever was to Gerry.

Truth be told, before Aidan came along I didn't usually have the same celebrity crush for more than a year or so tops. I've always been the type to be hyper-focussed on one at a time, I'm very monogamous, but I would just get bored of them sooner. But Aidan came along and I dunno, I guess he's different. Or he's just so super fucking hot. He really is. But I just like who he is as a person. It's weird, usually by now I wouldn't feel that physical pull anymore, no more fire in the loins and all that. But he still does it to me.

[fragilelovelythings]

4, 7, 19 for salty asks 🧂

4. Oh boy, let me comfortably hide under my rock to reply to this. Okay, I just don't feel attracted to RomanGerri. It's this massive ship around Succession but idk man, it does not shake my boat. At least not as much as other ships do. I see the appeal, the intricacies of their relationship, the ongoing flirting and the whole dom/sub undertones in it but it puts me off. I like them as characters but together they're sort of empty: the way I see it she's always going to replace the mother figure and that's already throwing me off board. Besides, after the Season 3 finale it just broke my heart how Gerri dismissed Roman completely and the weight of reality settled in Roman: he was being played since the start. And that for me it's unforgiven.

7. Alrighty, now let me get another bigger rock to hide under while I say this. When I first jumped into reading fanfics of Romencken it was intriguing and somewhat sexy the take almost every fucking body had of them as this dom/sub on top of an unending degradation kink from Roman. The more I read, the more I saw this portrayal of Mencken which was so linear, so basic for my taste, lacking total complexity of character or duality: he was just this psycho extreme right-wing politician who got off on making Roman feel even worse than his whole family combined. Then, when a fic wasn't quite going in that direction, fuck, it was the whole woke agenda threw over the narrative and jesus fucking christ I just want to read to get away from reality, don't you?

19. I don't think I hate anything in particular about any fandom I'm in... mostly because I can't really see myself in fandoms. I like, share, and reblog but rarely engage in conversation... but wait, there's this thing that annoys me a little regarding the True Detective fandom, of idk why some people like either to see Rust as trans, a woman, or just a lesbian and I don't get it. I don't judge, I'm not saying it's "wrong" or "incorrect" as I find nothing more useless in life and virtual life to engage into nonsensical discussions where opinions are understood as reasoning rather than facts or objectives points of view detached from attacking the person uttering them.

Heh. That's it. I'll go back to my another, gigantic rock.

[david-box]

Succession season 4 EP. 6 or whatever it's called idek tbh

Is this a flashback? Oh, nvm. This sounds like nonsense. He looks pissed. Yep, there it is. Ouch. I can feel the tension. Kendall why do you wanna watch it again. This is self harm buddy dude, my guy.

Brian Cox is a fucking phenomenal actor. And now one can stand up to him the way he should have been. Rest in piss you piece of shit. Is Mattson trying to flirt with Shiv? Dude she will fucking eat you alive. "Yoo-hoo". Well yeah they're just minding the shop for a few hours but dude you know how a business works right. Mattson dude you can't order that thing. He is the world's most crusty man while she's sitting there literally glowing like porcelain bruh she is so for out of your league and married and also crazy. Dude. Dude. Anyhow lol. "Start the engines" hahahahahaha. He is too tall. I think Shiv just likes she can abuse him with like the true honesty of her situation and he'll come back because he doesn't even want positive reinforcement. He just wants honesty.

Very light tan. Hey Rome going back into the studios. He took Shiv"s seat what the fuck?? Hi Tom! Kendall's shit he just said was so useless I forgot to listen and had to back up also Shiv grabbing her phone loud enough for him to notice and quiet enough to "not make a scene". I think he genuinely didn't notice. Or her slapping the phone down. Nice job clapping for yourself Ken. Who gives a shit about the company after this take the money and runnnnn. "Huh, well, what exactly happened??" Lol, Shiv. Gently pressing him. Sure. Roman is not lying well. Yes. You can recommend it. Take the money and run. Exposed to what. Bruh. That's also 50% cash. Everyone fucking leavvvevsa ahhahhahahaa. Kendall is a bad liar. Shiv is like why you fucking lying. She says yeah a lot. Thanks fuckface they're bad at this lol they didn't tell her cus she'll call them out. No you literally cannot keep ATN and Pierce. Roman is sorry. Is he trying to hug it out??? Roman I love you. They are so bad about reading her. Opp I forgot about the baby. Oh it's the same building nvm.

Why is she crying??? *About to breakdown* I'm fine DW about it. Aw. I don't trust him. Aw shiv no don't kiss your ex back. Jen listening in and they don't seem to care. Is he drinking??? What the fuck is personalized longevity. Fuckywood. Ahhaha yess sit like that Roman yeehaw love that shit. Mm tummy full ???? Roman???? Ahahha lol. I think it's hit im. "Mattson is flaky" <- man who is bailing on $194/share. I don't think this investor gives a shit. Oh this isn't an investor? Let's sidebar it girl? She is not confident. Well you want me to say more things? Lol. Roman buddy you're not listening to her. •_• uhh. Bruh. Dude. Why is he firing her. What the fuck. Bro??? Why??? Kendall what the fuck does annnnyyy of this. Ken. Oh this poor girl doesn't know how Kendall is. Bruh. Bro. "Don't say no Denny" no one can do no is a terrible thing Kendall buddy. These people are crazy.

Matthew what's his face is an incredibly attractive man. Aw they're being misogynistic together <3 how sweet. She's dressed up in what looks like a gi with a belt?? This is a bad time to apologize dude. How is it working. Is it working? Oh he's teasing her. Okay. Please neg eachother more it is very fun to watch. She does have her mannerisms down pat. Are they actually gonna bite eachother??? Bruh. Ahhahahahahhahaha. Oh my god. I think Tom loves that more than Shiv does this is so fucked up he finally gets to bite someone. "Tom wamsgams finally made me feel something" is such a roast. All you need is unbelievable growth?? Dude. I think it's hard to make houses seem like tech. Cus we've had houses for a while now. Greg I love you. We don't have the numbers Rome. "Ehh ehh" bruh. They're literally latching onto it because of Logan. Please talk to other people. Who's gonna kill themselves first. Thank you Gerri. Ouccchhh. Are you gonna fire her too. Dude. Bruh. "No" lol but she can't say that. Romannnnn never piss of Gerri. Kendall has zero ability to read emotions. You fired Gerri??? Smooth over? Bro? KENDALL. KENDALLLLLL.

Did they fuck right after they bite eachother. "I don't entirely hate you" was what she was gonna say. Mattson songs. Oh man. Bruh bad opener. I picked money. Ouch. That's harsh. Is he from a trailer park. She might actually do it dude. Bruh the green screen is STILL THERE. Are they gonna deep fake their dad??? "Or I'm gonna get in trouble"??? "Understand Mr. Snippy Snip???" What the fuck Greg???

Kendall they can't just build the numbers. It's gotta be credible but we're lying lol. "Can I talk to Karl." I. Lol. "You're taking jibberish." KENDALL. Kendall. He was not kidding. Let's just pressure people into this it'll work. Goddamn Shiv has nice outfits. Flirting with Lukas sarcastically in front of Tom making him feel like he's the other woman?? Bomb threat???? I love you Lukas.

Nice to see you back, Kendall's black glasses. It will be just this. I hope those oh those are real clouds. Okay. I was gonna say I hope they crash but it's just gas. Why is he upset. The numbers are from up there.... Okay. Roman is the most influenciable of the lot today. He's got that gleam in his eyes. Why do you have to back it Roman? I think we should protect him oooooo..... A flight jacket. Dude. You cannot say anything Kendall. I can sense Roman is 100% the younger brother. Is this all in one day?

Maybe ....wee..... Shouldn't... Do it? Or maybe postpone. He's so sad omg. It is nuts. We do not have to. You stupid people. Roman tries to stop Kendall and then he tries to pull himself out. Break that leg TM. Karl's getting pissed lol. I don't think he can pull rank by age he's gonna het fired lol. He'll fire you. Lol. Go Grandpa go.

Gerris still sitting there. Who is this even going for. Roman saying it like that means not good. Also wtf is Tom saying. Is he playing music. What the fuck. Omg. Omg. Omg. Omg. Omg. Hey uh. Yeah. Just say it 3 times it'll better. Roman would be so much better poor Tom. "Amateur". I was dusrupting our annual meeting I - bruh. I gotta quit typing. What the fuck. Living plus till the end????? He didn't even retire???? Bruh. You can't promise this. What the fuck. How did they manage that??? What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck.

OOHHH MY GOD I HAD TO GOOGLE IT AAAAA. WELP. THAT PUTS THAT IN THE GROUND. Dude you don't have to Google it. Lol. Trying to turn it around on Karl and then immediately backtracking into "generals" lmao. He's very European??? Bruh. The fuck does that mean. Kendall cannot spin any criticism. And now, give it up, for Tom Wamsgams!! So his weirdness is *rehearsed* or??? He deleted it? Damn. It's not gonna climb above 194? "I don't even remember it it was kinda a blur."

Seriously scared Romans gonna kill himself rn. He's just listening it to on repeat :-( oh my god.

It is obviously not going to be party and strategy. They're cute together. Is he drawing an arrow??? You're not gonna drown yourself right. Kendal. Kendall. Kendal. Kendal. Kendal. Kendal. Kendal. Kendal. Kendal. Bruh. Okay cool.

[halfstayed]

I hadn’t really thought about this in relation to S1 but what you said makes so much sense!!! Plus, I think it can help explain Helen’s reaction to Dale’s second proposal as well, in that Dale upsets her fundamental understanding of their relationship (a.k.a. the only safe & stable part of her life) and her immediate reaction is to run away and freeze him out entirely - which is also the same as her initial reaction to the revelation that Dale is attracted to men & has cheated on her.

It’s so interesting that you brought up 1x01 tho because I think there’s more to it on top of everything you said. In a way, it also shows that Helen is incapable of being vulnerable unless she is, essentially, forced to. And of course in S1 that became the catalyst for her to interact with him in ways she wouldn’t have otherwise (they’ve been working in the same office for god knows how long already). However, what bothers me is that her biggest emotional breakthroughs are all invariably reactive: opening up about her past in 1x06 after being called out by Dale (“it's not exactly like you've been forthcoming about everything in your life”), exposing her insecurities about their relationship after Dale mentions being propositioned by Gerry… it seems she only opens up in substantial ways when she’s afraid of otherwise losing him, which for me is the most concerning indicator of the unhealthy basis of their communication.

So, with all that in mind, her choosing to be vulnerable with Obnoxious Fucking Charlie Tate instead is just … a whole other can of worms I’m not quite sure how to unpack 😭

And on the point of their communication, it just KILLS me how much not-talking they do :/// We rarely see them have the “big” conversations on screen and a lot of their interactions seem to be based on unspoken agreements and (wrong) assumptions.

….. except talking probably wouldn’t have solved the problem either since neither of them are actually ready to have those kinds of conversations, exhibit A being: Dale feeling comfortable enough to open up to Gerry, yet in the process showing how much he’s still suppressing (which, of course, is exactly what @elialys pointed out in the first post). The stability of their relationship basically depended on them *not* talking about any of that :’)))

It just really sucks to know that the problems were always there, even during the good times 😭 but hopefully being apart gives them the space to actually work on themselves.

why do you think Hellen said no to Dales proposal?

I’m glad I waited before answering your question because I’ve listened to the Emsolation podcast with Michael Lucas (the show writer) in which he answered all kinds of questions about season 2, and that was one of them!

(I’m paraphrasing here, it’s been a few days since I listened to it!)

According to Michael, one of the main reasons why Helen rejected Dale’s proposal is because Helen genuinely can’t see herself having that kind of ‘normal’ life, not just with Dale but in general. The fact that it was Dale proposing made it even ‘worse’ because of how…atypical their couple is. Michael said Anna was pretty set on the concept that if Helen had a choice, she wouldn’t be in any relationship at all, that she was with Dale because she genuinely loved him, but it wasn’t something she felt ‘fit’ her, so Helen basically freaked out at being proposed to.

Because I love spending hours analyzing character’s motivations, fears and limitations, I’ve also thought a lot about this, not just because I’m going to be writing about it 😅 While I absolutely loved hearing Michael’s explanation and obviously believes it to be true since, duh, he literally wrote those characters, I think it’s even more complicated than Helen ‘simply’ not wanting to get married.

To me, from what we’ve seen in season 2, between the hotel scene in 2x01 with Helen’s reaction to learning Gerry had propositioned Dale, and the return of Tim in 2x04 reminding her of what’s happened before, she still had a lot of insecurities regarding Dale’s sexuality. The way I see it, even though I’m sure she believes it when Dale says he loves her and that he’s not just a closeted gay man trying to convince himself he’s INTO WOMEN, I’m sure it’s still one of her fears, that Dale is basically hiding with her, even unconsciously. And that to Dale, proposing to her and making her his wife is another way to PROVE THAT HE’S LIKE EVERY OTHER MAN.

Which is what was actually happening, in my opinion?? Even if I one hundred percent believe Dale is bisexual and that he absolutely loves Helen, he’s clearly not comfortable with that bi side of himself, in great part because he lives in a world that doesn’t accept people like him, and he’s been traumatized as a teen for having feelings for another boy—not to mention how his mum clearly doesn’t support *not being straight*. I highly recommend listening to Sam Reid talking about Dale in the official podcast for ep 2x06, he explains this so much better than me right now haha.

Basically Dale is trying to mold himself into what he believes a REAL MAN should be. So yeah, like he told Garry in 2x03, ‘of course’ he wants to get married (“Doesn’t everyone?”), because if he marries a woman, he’s CLEARLY NOT HAVING GAY THOUGHTS.

What I’m trying to say is that I think Helen is very much aware of that on some level. Of the fact that her sweet bi babygirl Dale is desperate for STRAIGHT VALIDATION, and that she might have been afraid it would just blow up in her face one day when Dale realized he actually did need “more” than what she could give him as a woman.

I’m not even going to delve into Helen’s insecurities about herself as a ‘fucking disaster’, because I could write a 40-pages long essay about her to be honest, but hopefully you get the idea. These characters are complex and very messy, and I think they broke apart because they weren’t communicating properly, which is often why people break apart. Dale never *asked* Helen if she was actually interested in marriage, even after his shitty first proposal. If they had talked about it properly, I think a lot of this would have been avoided.

[gainerstories]

Lifetime Supply: Chapter 10

Written by: Gainer Stories

Lifetime Supply is a collaborative story penned by Gainer Stories and Gaining Fiction.

Ryan stared at himself proudly in the mirror. He was an absolute porker. His skin was still flushed red after a hot shower, and his chest hair damp. He didn’t dry off as quickly anymore. The fold under his moobs stayed moist as did his underbelly and groin. The fresh stretch marks on his belly screamed for attention, and for the first time he noticed smaller ones developing on the inside of his thighs and fat pad. He liked that he was expanding all over. All the better for boys to shower him with attention. 

He pulled on a pair of underwear. Bending over took more time than it used to. He had noticed his belly getting in the way about thirty pounds ago. But now everything was fat and everything got in the way. He reckoned that in another fifty pounds he’d really be struggling. With the boxer briefs on, Ryan admired the way his fat bulged around the elastic. 

Next were his new jeans from the big and tall store. They fit like a glove, hugging his ass and thighs without restricting movement and comfortably buttoning at the waist. The sales associate Gerry assured him there were plenty of larger sizes to grow into should these ever become snug. Next he threw on an old undershirt that he knew wouldn’t cover him completely. This would be a surprise for Luke if he was lucky. 

Next, he clad a newly purchased sweater. It was light weight and appropriately sized, but still clung to every fleshy curve. Surely this would tantalize Luke, so he hoped. Ryan then contemplated the addition of suspenders. Gerry had been a big advocate of this purchase, but Ryan was skeptical. Did he really need them yet? His pants stayed up fairly well on their own. Nevertheless, he donned them. 

The supportive elastic pressed against his belly, accentuating it’s convex nature. It also highlighted the fleshiness of his chest and overall wideness. There was no denying that suspenders were the marker of a certified dough boy and although Ryan wasn’t sure if he was quite there yet, he wore them anyway. 

Arriving at the gay bar his heart was pounding with anticipation. A million thoughts rushed through his head. What if Luke stands him up? What if he’s in denial about his attraction to fat guys? What if Jason is there for a half hearted apology? 

Ryan stepped through the door and Luke immediately spotted the fattest guy in the room. His eyes lit up and he rushed over to greet Luke with a surprisingly intimate hug. It lasted a few seconds longer than seemed normal, and Luke stepped back visibly flustered and self conscious of this fact. 

“Let me buy you a drink, I feel so awful about what happened last night,” Luke immediately uttered. 

Ryan casually pressed his belly against the bar as Luke ordered and tried to remain calm at the sight of Ryan’s heft spread out before him. With drinks in hand, they proceeded to a booth tucked away in the corner. 

“Jason is such a fucking cunt,” I don’t know how either of us put up with him for so long. 

“It sounds like… you broke up?” Ryan asked. 

“We’ve been broken up! We were meeting up last night to leave things on better terms and it totally backfired.” 

Ryan asked why they had broken up and Luke seemed to be withholding something. He danced around the topic but it was clear there was an elephant in the room, and his name was Ryan. Ryan was growing frustrated with the polite banter. Luke was no longer in a relationship and nor was he at work, there was no excuse for this pussyfooting and Ryan knew he had to make a move. He excused himself to the bathroom to gather his thoughts. 

On his journey there he noticed an Adesco branded vending machine. Cha-ching! Ryan fed the machine several bills and bought a handful of snacks, far more than was appropriate being seen with at a gay bar. He suppressed a devilish grin when he returned to a stunned Luke. 

“Sorry, but I’m just so goddamn hungry lately and couldn’t pass these up.” 

Luke gulped, “Oh… those are good ones.”

“Tell me about it.” 

A silence hung in the air as Ryan shifted his belly and leaned back in the booth. He tore open a snack cake as Luke watched with lustful eyes. Ryan raised it to his mouth. Just as it was about to reach his lips he stopped. 

“No, seriously Luke, why don’t you tell me about it?” 

“Uh, um, I… are you not gonna eat that?” Luke gestured towards the cake still sitting in Ryan’s hand. 

Ryan grinned, “Why don’t you feed it to me?” 

“Here? Like, right now?” 

“Why not?” 

With a nervous hand Luke picked up the cake and raised it to Ryan’s mouth. Ryan inhaled it in one bite and then nodded to the other one. Looking around nervously, Luke repeated the action. Then Ryan handed Luke the rest of the snacks. 

“Go on, I know you want to,” he purred. 

Luke swallowed and took a deep breath before proceeding. As he fed this mountain of a man, this guy he’d heard Jason chastise endlessly for letting himself go, this fat ass who taunted him over the phone with each fresh pound of lard he slathered on, Luke began to lose himself. Ryan was eating faster and Luke was shoving the food in his mouth to keep up. Both men were breathing heavily and Luke’s hard on was soaking his pants with precum. 

“Why don’t we uh,” Luke stammered once the snacks were consumed, “why don’t we head to the bathroom real quick?” 

Ryan replied in the affirmative and stood up dramatically to accentuate the heft of his stomach. The fit jock and overgrown fatty made their way to the bathroom with hurried steps and pounding hearts. Bypassing the men standing at the trough, they locked themselves in the stall. Standing face to face, Ryan’s girth filled up the majority of the space in the small corridor. 

Without another word they locked lips and Luke’s hands immediately gripped the gooey lovehandles pouring out behind Ryan’s suspenders. Their kissing was sloppy and frantic, the result of months of telephone foreplay. Luke wasted no time in unbuttoning Ryan’s shirt to expose the man’s swollen and hairy barrel of a belly. 

Ryan slipped his hands down the back of Luke’s pants, gripping a surprisingly plentiful handful of fuzzy bubble butt. However he didn’t get much time to explore the horny jock’s rear end before Luke dropped to his knees and fervently buried his entire face into Ryan’s plush overhang. Luke was like a feral animal licking and biting at the musky rolls of chub he had helped Ryan grow over the past several months. The metal walls of the stall creaked and banged against their passionate encounter and Luke even let out a bellowing moan he could no longer contain. 

Luke unbuttoned Ryan’s pants and pulled down the snug underwear. Ryan’s cock sprung to desperate attention, but Luke overlooked the throbbing member in favor of the ripe fat pad bulging above it. Ryan gasped and inadvertently bent the stall wall under the pressure his weight. Just as Luke wrapped one hand around the stretch marked fat pad and the other around Ryan’s pipe there was a knock at the door. 

“Sorry boys, no hanky panky or I’ll get the bouncer!” 

Both men sighed in frustration. They haphazardly redressed Ryan and emerged from the stall looking sex crazed and disheveled. They escaped the bar hand in hand and the crisp night air reinvigorated their senses. 

“Back to my place?” Ryan beckoned. 

“I have a better idea,” Luke responded. 

They climbed inside Luke’s car and peeled out into the street. Ryan asked where they were headed but Luke remained silent with a determined look on his face. After about ten minutes they pulled into the parking lot of the All American Buffet and Diner. Luke looked over at Ryan with a devilish grin on his face. 

“Let’s see what you can do,” he said. 

Ryan was eager to accept the challenge and stepped out of the car. Still looking a mess, they stepped inside with an eagerness that seemed out of place for the small establishment. Looking around, Ryan was completely taken aback. The restaurant was not very full at this time of night, yet he knew nearly half of the patrons in attendance. 

At one table sat Antoine and a new feedee. Ryan’s replacement was much smaller than he was, sporting a modest paunch of maybe twenty extra pounds. Ryan recognized the look in Antoine’s eyes as he watched his date polish the plate with gusto. Ryan wondered if the fledgling gainer knew what he was in for. 

Sitting a few tables over was Ahmed and Cory. Ahmed had a plate in front of him that was laughably overflowing with food. His belly already looked swollen beneath his snug muscle tee and Ryan wondered how long the newfound muscle man could last until he developed into a full on bear. 

Eying the room, Ryan had a realization. This was the first time he was seeing all the men responsible for his weight gain in one place: Luke, Antoine, Cory, Ahmed. You wouldn’t know it based on appearances, but this was one dangerous posse, at least when it came to waistlines. 

“Hey boys!” Ryan announced loudly, standing at the entrance and waving. 

They all looked up from their plates with a stunned look in the eyes. 

[transmutationisms]

Hello Camille. Normally I wouldn't send this as an ask, but I feel like this might be of your follower's interests. I have just realised that there is an intersection in cannibalism, Roman's negative oedipal complex, his attraction to men and catholic rites, and that's holy communion. Why is he, as a man, on his knees consuming the flesh of another man? Maybe he's spent enuf time in the confessional and it's time for communion. Myabe eating dick really could fix him...

okay yes i've spent a lot of time thinking about this and to me it really does come back to "you eat me, i eat you." said to gerri, his father figure (business mentor, ticket up at waystar, turns him on by calling him disgusting, etc). conflating love with cannibalism with oral sex. like i think he really is offering to suck gerri's dick. could he go through with it? doubtful. does he know that, though? unclear.

if you wanted to go extra insane with this you could point out that one of the first things he says to mencken is calling him "the ghost pepper" ie, a food, but one that's too spicy. then he comments on mencken's christianity---presumed catholicism because of shiv's 'integralist' line and roman crossing himself in the mirror, which cements the association between catholicism and fucking-eating. mencken as the saviour figure, relative to atn; roman as the disciple come to ask him for salvation (roman phrases this as him "taming" mencken, but.....)

plus there's lukas's line about "reaming people; juicing them like oranges" which both echoes something shiv and tom said about logan at tern haven (so again, lukas as father figure) AND flips the dynamic: roman's partner now implying they'd eat him. and lukas is the guy asking roman for emotional intimacy and to talk about his weaknesses. roman perceives all of this as a threat, the same way he would someone literally cannibalising him.

and then of course the iconic line about eduard's neck smelling like cotton candy and roman wanting to lick it. both of them acting as their fathers, though eduard much more successfully than roman. so roman wants to eat him, but settles for drinking with him instead (im pretty sure he orders the same beer as eduard, though). their affair ending after logan disapproves of the football club in dundee (because they bought the incorrect, specifically protestant, team rather than logan's catholic one) and then eduard turns out to not really be the kingmaker in the hostage situation in turkey. a disappointing father figure for roman.

so yeah to put it all together. roman deifies logan. he also wants to symbolically fuck/marry logan. and he wants to eat of the body of christ (logan) and be redeemed. and so, when we look at his 'partners' and the way he talks about sex and domination, we do find this motif with him of talking about eating people as an act of communion. both communing With Them, and communion in its stricter catholic sense. wanting to eat as an act of taking another man (his symbolic father) into his own body, to have that man's flesh become his own flesh. terrified when lukas implies he'd do it in reverse, very obviously turned on by mencken's overt fascist masculinity and general aura of domination and power.

again, could he actually, in his heart of hearts, eat dick? certainly not while there's a logan in his head, telling him to get straightened out and to find kerry attractive and so forth. but. hypothetically. would eating dick Save him? i mean. it would certainly, at the very least, be a new opportunity for him to synthesise his food issues and sex issues. he needs to eat only the correct things to reach transcendence: fruit; the body of christ. if he could successfully convert his lover's body into the body of christ, and if he could confront his desire to symbolically marry his father without invoking the logan shame spirals that prevent him from actually fucking anyone......... well maybe it's best we just never find out............

[kendallsdreamsong]

okayyy heres the roman analysis. cw: discussion of nsfw topics (its about his sexuality. so), abuse (references to physical & emotional abuse, heavy discussion of sexual abuse), homophobia, ummm. yeah okay that should be it

romans sex deal is so interesting to me bc its a major facet of his character but its also so open-ended. there are the 4 main interpretations that ive seen; intimacy, power, queerness, and that hes a csa survivor

intimacy makes the most sense imo. he is most comfortable when he cant see the other party, with tabitha he creates this whole. weird necrophilia thing to justify not having to properly interact with her, and with gerri theres always something *between* them -- a phone, or a door, or the fact that they can never actually discuss it since gerri doesnt want her career ruined. this would also parallel nicely with shivs marriage issues, since those also come down to intimacy. shiv even says, in 3x07, "the relationship was fine sexually and you're loving the intimacy and all?" to roman and like. if anyone knows roman its shiv. self recognition through the other (derogatory). see also: tomshiv/romangerri parallels. theres not rlly much i can say here, its like. just metaphorical enough for it to be a theme but not Too much that its grasping at straws.

the only thing i'd have to say against the intimacy interpretation is that i think the fact that they explicitly said it in s3, *especially at kendalls bday party* (where the csa survivor implications are the heaviest), prob means theres something more. if that was meant to be taken straight-on as a whole explanation of romans sex issues then it wouldve been part of a major turning point in his arc -- instead, well. literally in the next episode dickpicgate happens. so. nothing changed. it reads as a one-off line that reflects more on shiv than it does on roman

if u want to read it as a power play thing, i think it has to be in combination with another interpretation. its certainly not enough to stand on its own, since most of romans sex deal is a Lack of sex. having said that, his relationship with gerri attests to this in a very particular way. it started with gerri degrading roman, with him seemingly taking less power in the relationship (which is only hammered in by the age gap), until u realize just how much power roman has over gerri. yes, gerri is a board member, but roman is a *roy*. yes, hes *roman* roy, but a roy nonetheless. he could ruin her career just by a wrong text message, and he almost fucking did! because he was too shortsighted with his own power that he didnt fully conceptualize how dangerous the game he was playing truly was, even though gerri told him time and time again. either way, their dynamic creates this interesting faux secession of power, in which roman can play a sort of. charade that hes less powerful than he truly is

queer interpretation: okay. this one… definitely has backing. i get that the bathroom thing is about masculinity and exclusivity, but its also very very gay to bring not 1, not 2, but 3 men into the bathroom with you. there is no heterosexual explanation for the mencken bathroom meeting. in any case, there are also lines with double meanings, like "i am a walking rainbow band" and logan saying to "get straightened out" when discussing his sex deal. which is. definitely one way to phrase it! roman also has a very noticeable reaction to being called queer/the f slur by logan, which to me says theres some truth to it. overall, i wouldnt say this makes sense as an Explanation of his sex deal, since yknow. his relationship with gerri is to some degree about sexual attraction, from what i can tell. i think hes just queer And has a lot of psychosexual issues. he can do both❤️ (i also left out a Lottt of examples of him being. so manliking. like his entire agreement to "seduce" eduardo, saying "i could rim with vim", etc. theres a 5 minute fancam of him just being gay and the only reason its that short is bc of tumblrs video limit. to give u an idea of just how not-straight he is)

the csa survivor reading is. well. okay. he has a tendency to separate "sex" from "bodies", for example when tabitha says shes wet he cringes and asks her to be less specific. even gerri and romans whole Thing carries with it the knowledge that it is solely gerri degrading roman, only mentioning his behavior and not his body. roman does say shit like "i'd lay you badly but i'd lay you gladly" but like. gerri has made it VERY clear that its not gonna get physical and they both know that. which means roman can make those advances without actually having to fulfill them. additionally, (edit: nvm im proofreading and this is all wrong, sorry i wrote this in the middle of season 2 i didnt know what was coming) he feels isolated from the family bc they think hes "weird"/"has something wrong with [him]". this can presumably be brought back to the dog pound, as thats when he "went weird" and was sent to military school. however we know that his recounting of the event that transpired is unreliable, seeing as kendall confirms later that that wasnt the whole story. ssssso. something big happened around the same time as the dog pound. we get mentions of bedwetting, which is a common symptom of csa, and he makes a Lot of incest/pedophilia jokes, particularly where he is the victim (see: "…said the father as the sexual assault allegations poured in" "like a camp counselor in my butt when i was 12"). like, um, more than any other sibling (except for shiv, whose incest jokes are also always about roman). ESPECIALLY in season 3, like. it feels like every time roman is on-screen in s3 theres some joke about him wanting to fuck his mom. in any case, this has all been talked about before. if u wanna see more about it, heres an article discussing it that i really liked: https://medium.com/@krpilon/successions-roman-roy-is-a-csa-victim-here-s-why-b96aa628fe71 . what i havent seen discussed while ppl talk about this interpretation/theory, is his role in the argestes panel. for a refresher: the panel was waystars initial statement following the news of the sexual assault and murders in cruises. shiv and kendall take haphazard turns making statements, while roman is notably quiet. now, u could just say that this is a metaphor for their respective roles within the company, and u'd be right -- shiv and kendall are really the only two that are at all being considered for ceo, while roman fades into the background, despite technically being there. but i wanna try out a different interpretation. lets take a look at the cinematography first. at ~50:56, kendall says, "we dont know." at the same time, the camera moves to romans face. kendalls voice is overlayed, "right now we just dont know". before zooming back out and focusing on the rest of the panel as kendall moves on. if were running with the csa survivor interpretation here, which we are in this case, this would reference people not knowing about romans sexual abuse, only bolstered by the fact that the argestes panel *was literally discussing sexual abuse*. finally, the only thing roman says during this panel is, "we'll do whatever anyone wants". again, double meaning. theres other stuff, like in 3x01 the camera focuses on roman when the possibility of logan sexually assaulting someone is brought up, but that was the most clear example i could see of cinematography being used to imply this

FUCK i forgot another thing with the csa interpretation. okay so like. theres sexual abuse within the company. thats a pretty big piece of season 2 and season 3. and we know that the violence of capital (abuse within waystar) is the violence of the family (abuse within the roy family). so it would make sense that there would also be sexual abuse within the family. this leads into theories surrounding rose as well, since if romans csa mirrors the sexual abuse in cruises, then the murder of rose would mirror the murder in cruises

IN ANY CASE. those are the 4 most common interpretations ive seen. i agree with all of them to some degree, but i also trust in succession's ability to throw us curveballs

[thefudge]

Thoughts on Roman and Logan conversation about Gerri and Logans ageism? Also, do you think Shiv overplayed her hand in the situation? Despite Logan agreeing with her, it was so obvious he knew she was trying to play him.

logan was a huge fucking hypocrite; i think someone in the tags mentioned the fact that he never once asked connor how old willa was, so this is some tired bullshit. but i think his convo with kendall hovered like a shadow over this scene because roman, the son who seems to want to be like him the most, who seems to truly worship the ground he walks, that roman turns out to be attracted to a much older woman and *gasp* not as some kind of demeaning joke. logan gave him an out when he implied that roman was just fucking around, trying to humiliate gerri, but he didn't take it. not to mention, he was vehemently against firing gerri over this. so, roman doesn't want to be and can't fill in logan's shoes, after all. and in light of what kendall said ("i don't want to be you"), this has to prick logan's ego. what truly disturbs him, imo, is not so much the age difference or the dick pic, but that the whole thing is genuine. that's why he keeps asking if roman's sick, if this is a game, because he can't wrap his mind around these unconventional and genuine connections between people. that's why he asks kendall if he's "queer". i don't think he's just an old homophobe. i think any sign of vulnerability and caring deeply upsets him, especially when it takes place outside of his purview (him telling roman he wants to know everything that goes on in the company is...telling).

i also have a sneaking suspicion logan slept with gerri at least once when they were younger and this whole thing fucks him up on a deeper level. roman isn't allowed to like "old gerri" who can no longer be fucked by logan.

as for shiv, i think she overplayed her hand with gerri, who can sniff her out and prepare her moves before shiv has time to form an attack. but logan might've been persuaded. yes, he probably suspects shiv was doing this for her own gains, but again, logan's ego has been slightly bruised because of the whole "my sons aren't me and don't want to be me" situation, so at least his daughter is acting like him? if shiv had started to defend roman and say, hey they're both adults, gerri is still smoking hot, logan would've blown up on her and called her sick. he's happy that shiv is using this against roman because, to his mind, it means that at least one of the kids is "all right". because yes, in logan's world, that is normalcy

[tomwambsmilk]

3, 5, 8 for the succ asks!

3. shiv pulls you aside and asks if you think there’s “anything weird” going on between her husband and greg hirsch. what do you say?

Ooh, that's a toughie. I think what I would say would depend a lot on how much I knew... If I'd actually seen something super incriminating, affair-wise, I would tell her. As fun as it is for me as a succ viewer to root for the extra-marital affair, irl I would see that as a serious thing and I wouldn't feel comfortable lying about it. (I don't know that I'd go out of my way to tell her though... not my circus not my monkeys etc. And yes I know they have an open relationship but I'm assuming I don't know that.) But, if all I've seen is what we've seen on the show? I think there I would be a LOT more hesitant to say anything, if only because it's all Subtext and it's VERY possible to read that wrong. Probably I'd shrug and say some variation of "I don't know, they are really close I guess but I've never seen anything sketchy going on there."

5. willa invites you to a boozy saturday brunch. jess invites you to after work drinks. either way, you know you will be getting some crazy waystar tea, but you can only accept one invitation. which do you choose?

Oh, Willa 100%. For one thing, I need ALL the tea on Connor's presidential campaign and his evolving platform, but also I think Willa and I would get along really well, and I do want to talk theatre with her. She might not be able to write good theatre but she definitely appreciates a good play, and I think that would be an even bigger draw for me than the Waystar gossip tbh. I need her opinions on the "American Psycho" musical and whether or not she prefers the London or the New York cast of "Heathers". Who is her favourite Elphaba aside from Idina Menzel? Thoughts on Andrew Lloyd Webber, and what does she think is the thing he's done that's most worthy of public execution? That's what I REALLY need to know.

(Also I do love a boozy brunch, it must be said - a boozy brunch will always win over evening drinks for me.)

8. you are roman roy’s most trusted confidant. he asks if you think he’s afraid of pussy. what do you say?

This one is so context-dependent... I'm assuming that he's asking seriously, and he's also told me about his relationship struggles to this point. My go-to approach when I'm trying to help a friend work through something is not to straight-up tell them what I think, but to ask them questions until they figure out what they want or what the situation is - mostly because I'm not them and I don't want to put words in their mouth. So, I'd probably start by saying that idk that 'scared of pussy' is really a good way to put it, and then start asking him questions like what do you mean by that, exactly? Do you think that it's the prospect of sex that's making you anxious, or is it the intimacy? Are you attracted to women? Do you think you might be attracted to men? What is it about Gerri that you like? Would you actually ever want to have sex with her?

Because Roman is Roman we'll get maybe five minutes into this process before the introspection makes him too uncomfortable and he makes a shitty joke and tells me to fuck off, but I also think he'd keep rotating it in his mind and maybe it will help him figure something out. Or maybe not. Either way, he'll probably send me a dick pic out of spite

WHAT WOULD YOU DO: the succession ask game

[lizwontcry]

This is for @hanilecter who asked for "how about some angry post-betrayal smut?💖" Welllll this turned into a holiday party with some smut thrown in set somewhere between phone sex and dick pic-gate (depressing that that's what we get to define their relationship by now). Apologies for not sticking to the time period but I hope you'll dig it regardless.

The company "holiday party" is held at Logan and Marcia's apartment in the city this year. Marcia hired a party planner and it does look rather festive. Roman's plan is to have two drinks maximum, track down Shiv and annoy her into calling him some filthy names, and then get the fuck out of there and meet Tabitha at one of her annoying tall blonde people parties. She said she'd accompany him to the Waystar party but he figures he's subjected her to enough Roy family drama for a while.

Besides, he may or may not be looking forward to seeing someone else at this party tonight. Someone who may or may not have recently verbally abused him into an orgasm. Twice.

Roman does the rounds when he shows up (20 minutes late, to his father's annoyance). He kisses Marcia's cheek, shakes Tom's hand and tells Shiv she looks like a carrot that was aborted from its mother's roots, listens to Connor tell him about doing a podcast about... something he doesn't give a shit about, accidentally walks into a corner where Kendall is sticking his tongue down Naomi's throat.

Now he's checking out what food the evening has to offer. An attractive (what else) blonde is loading up her plate with more caviar than Roman has ever seen in his life.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, I like caviar as much as the next guy, but that's... you're gonna have diarrhea for like six months," Roman can't help but say. He's always so good at first impressions.

The blonde wrinkles her nose. It's a cute nose, though. "Thank you for the helpful tip. I just really fucking love caviar, okay? And I've been eating the bullshit food at my college's cafeteria for three months so excuse me if I'd like to enjoy the good stuff for tonight."

"Fair enough," Roman says, nodding. "I'm Roman, by the way."

"Katherine," she says, maneuvering her plate so she could shake his hand. "Hey, can you please grab me a beer? We can maybe sit down and you can watch me eat this."

"What a tempting invitation," Roman says. "Yeah, I'll grab you one."

He finds an Amstel Light in the kitchen and brings it over to Katherine. Watching her eat the caviar is as disgusting as he thought it would be but somehow also... charming. And hot.

"Hey, you look familiar, do I know you from somewhere?" Roman asks, taking a sip of his own beer.

"No, I don't think so. Maybe you just want to, like, want to know me," Katherine says, and he swears she winks at him. Well, okay. Perhaps he can sit here and chat with her for a little while longer--

"Katie? I've been looking all over for you, who are you talking--"

Roman and Gerri lock eyes, and Roman knows he's made a classic fuck-up, yet again.

"Oh, I'm pretending to flirt with Roman, Mom. Apparently he forgot that he's met me at least 12 times, and then somehow assumed that I didn't know who he was. What a fucking idiot," Katherine says, looking at him like the complete moron he is.

"Huh," Gerri says, giving Roman a look that makes him want to melt into the floor. "That's interesting."

"Yeah, I think he was about one sentence away from inviting me to an exciting game of Seven Minutes in Heaven."

"Now, wait a minute here--"

"Roman. Go away. I'll find you in a few minutes--we need to talk about those expense reports you sent me today."

"Oooh, Romie's in troubbbleee," Katherine sings cheerfully.

"Bitch," Roman mutters as he walks the fuck away.

Gerri finds him ten minutes later in the kitchen, stealing a bite of the apple pie that hasn't been served yet. Gerri grabs him by his tie and drags him into the nearest bathroom, where she slams the door and locks it. He has no idea what's happening but he's sure as fuck looking forward to finding out.

"So that's how you think you're going to get my attention? By flirting with my youngest daughter? What the hell is wrong with you, Roman?"

"Ger, come on, I swear I didn't know it was your daughter, I haven't seen her in so long, and what is she even doing in college, she's like 30--"

She pushes him against the linen closet. Roman decides now is not the best time to tell her how hot she looks in her green dress tonight and that one of her buttons has come undone and he can see right down to her dark blue bra. Especially when she starts to unbuckle his pants with extreme speed.

"Uh, Ger--"

"Shut the fuck up, Roman. You are a disgusting degenerate freak, aren't you? If I didn't find you when I did, you would have tried to take her home with you, right? You would, because you're a repugnant pile of rat shit."

He can't really respond because Gerri's hands is reaching into his pants now, and he gasps as her warm, stern hand wraps itself around his dick. And, uh, she really seems to know what she's doing as she strokes him not-so-gently.

She pushes him again and then kisses him hard, biting his lip in the process. Fuck. Fucking fuck. He is moaning like a... something that moans a lot.

"You're an obnoxious piece of shit, Roman. You're... repugnant. How do you even show your face at your father's party when you know you're just going to disappoint everyone?"

And... that does it. He comes all over her hand because he's just a gross moron. She nods in satisfaction and then finds a towel on the rack. After she washes her hands, she cleans him up gently, making him gasp a little from how good it feels to be tended to after being called every terrible name she can think of on the spot.

"Well. Hopefully that will teach you to stay away from my daughter."

"I don't know, Ger. I think that taught me I need to flirt with her at least once a day, maybe more."

She glares at him, but he can tell it's all for show. He won't tell her that, of course.

"I'm leaving now. Stay in here for five more minutes."

"You got it, boss," he says in a British accent for some reason.

"Idiot," she says, and then leaves.

Maybe he will stay for a while longer, after all.

[peniscat]

hello ms megathumproy i’d like to hear your romangerri thoughts! do you have any thoughts on why gerri keeps (kept…) bothering with roman even though he’s a piece of shit (affectionate)

hello anon thank you for asking me! i am always amenable to sharing my romangerri thoughts with the people, so buckle up, here we go.

short answer: she just thinks he's neat! the long answer is under read more because i ramble :)

to begin with a quote from the world's leading expert in gerri kellman, miss j. smith-cameron herself:

"I think she is fond of him and would like to think of him as a protégé or something. She thinks, Oh, he’s not stupid. And he’s very charismatic. He’s just a restless spoiled brat. If the right person could fashion that, he’d be really an amazing person."

initially gerri saw the potential in roman, because we know he has good instincts but they get buried under so much bullshit that his career track is constantly fucked up because of that. i think she saw him as a useful challenge, since helping him would advance her own position too if she succeeded.

but i don't think she expected to actually be charmed by him or that their relationship would become anything else than the classic mentor-protégé one. i probably need to write a separate post on why gerri indulged roman's sexual advances in 2x04 and 2x05 but at its core i think it's tied to the fact that she's just fond of him – and sort of thought she could use his attraction to her own advantage. though by incorporating that into their relationship, she sort of orchestrated their downfall, too, even if she quickly put a stop to it after she was made interim ceo. while the dream team break up was fully and completely roman's fault for sending her unsolicited dick pics, the lines were always sort blurred with them.

back to the topic! even after made interim ceo, keeping roman close continued to be an advantage to gerri, which made keeping up with the mentoring a good idea. but in s3 we really saw roman getting more and more attached to gerri, something that i don't think was ideal in gerri's opinion! since roman’s feelings for gerri are certainly not professional in their nature, which complicates things for them. cue another brilliant quote from the gerri expert herself:

“One, she’s like, how can I use this to advance my personal position? And I think he gets under her skin a little bit… He’s a jerk, he’s so funny, and he’s so other than she is… I think she has a weird affection for him that isn't necessarily sexual or romantic or anything, but just a sort of tenderness”

gerri doesn’t reciprocate his feelings but she is undeniably fond of him, which i think is the reason she didn’t just tell him to fuck off when things started to get a little bit too intense. there are so many moments in s3 where gerri helps roman and she does so much to keep their partnership alive, even when roman is doing his most to fuck it up. that is also what makes the dick pic case so heartbreaking. not the initial sending them (which was still wrong and he shouldn’t have done that) –  but the fact he did it again even after she told him to stop.

i think that gerri’s fondness for roman had allowed her to sort of hope that if she just told him enough times to cut it out, he’d actually start behaving in a way that would tell her he took their partnership seriously. i’ve seen gerri’s refusal to help roman in 3x09 described as betrayal, but in my opinion roman is the one who betrayed her first by behaving in a way that was harmful to her career. i think jsc said somewhere that gerri was actually really hurt by roman’s carelessness, which makes so much sense.

sadly for roman, gerri’s fondness has a limit and it’s called “endangering a decades-long career”. or alternatively “ignoring every boundary she’s ever tried to set for him”, and that’s why she didn’t help him in 3x09. but it’s interesting because i think her feelings didn’t just disappear basically overnight, which could be promising for s4. or who knows, gerri is the queen of compartmentalizing so she might just be ice cold from now on, but i really hope that won’t be the case!

so i overall think that gerri bothered to help roman at first because of possible professional gain & curiosity, which then changed into professional gain and fondness. roman might be a piece of shit, but he’s a charming piece of shit with good instincts and apparently that’s the key of getting a hot milf mentor you. too bad roman fucked that up. i hate that i have to live in a world where s4 is so far away and even then i have no clue whether there’ll be anything between them ever again. fun <3