#gerry big naturals

[wheredidalltheusersgo]

Ooh he's got the GLAM

[fangirl-dot-com]

Head cannons/Quick facts about You! :) 

(most of these are going to be for the future, but a few are generalizations) 

You are 20 years old – making you the youngest on the grid 

Like almost ALL characters, you do not have a good relationship with your parents 

Christian and Gerri will step in :) 

Only child, but it doesn’t show much 

Fairly quiet

Especially in the first few weeks of being on the grid 

Everyone thinks that you might not like them, while you think that they might not like you 

Out of everyone, Logan is the first to get you to crack 

Then comes Oscar, because you know, codependency of Loscar is real 

And then Lando, because if someone can befriend Oscar, he can befriend you (you accidentally ran him over one time trying to get on an elevator before you actually met him for real)

And then Alex because of Logan (also you adored his animals) 

Max has surprisingly always liked you – being teammates and all 

It really started after the Christmas video posted by Red Bull that helped you two become friends 

He felt like he needed to look after you 

Charles always watched you from a distance 

You were his brother’s best friend…he felt a need to make sure you were ok 

Not a surprise, you and Fernando bonded over plants – you accidentally interrupted his quiet time on a roof before media day because you wanted to water the flowers (after that, you started calling him grandpa Nando – you’re the only one allowed to do that) 

Lewis’s and George’s friendship came at a weird time 

You had accidentally gotten locked out of your car one time late after the race had ended 

Coincidentally, you three were staying at the same hotel and they offered you a ride 

Let’s just say, mischief happened and you had a whining Lando the next day (since he missed out on the fun with his fellow Brits) 

The rest of the grid are just all really soft for you 

You claim to be Daniel’s favorite (which you are) 

He promises to take you to his farm the next time he goes 

You’ve always wanted to pet a kangaroo 

Yuki always brings you whatever food he’s recently cooked up 

But, You definitely laugh the most around Lando 

Because of his childlike nature and your more stone faced, shy personality, you took the role of the “older sibling” 

But, Lando puts on the big brother approach whenever someone bothers you (PSA – all of the drivers do) 

They get really jealous when Ollie or Arthur come to visit because suddenly all of your attention is on them and not the grid 

Now, the WAGS absolutely adore you 

They treat you like a little sister 

You need advice? They will help 

Need a dress for whatever reason? They will all pull up 

You really bond with Lily 

Lando likes to drag you to play gold with Carlos and Alex 

And most of the time, Alex will bring Lily 

So you definitely see her more than the rest 

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH LIGHTNING MCQUEEN 

LIKE

YOU HAVE AN LIGHTNING MCQUEEN HELMET 

AND THE CROCS 

AND A BACKPACK 

Life is a Highway is your walkup song – there is none other

You and Lando start to take naps everywhere 

Christian often has to ask Max to go find you – since you seem to disappear when you go take a nap 

In true chaotic gen-z fashion, your first dnf was pretty bad 

Your left back wheel had gotten clipped on a curb and you went sliding, ultimately rolling over a couple of times 

You were fine, but the guys panicked 

All they knew was that a Red Bull had flipped, and Max was standing with them in the pit lane 

So using their amazing deductive skills, they knew it was you 

The next race, you showed up with them around you in a protective circle 

The boys joked in interviews that you’d have shown up in bubble wrap if you had let them

The first inkling they had that your relationship with your parents wasn’t the best was at the newly instituted Parent’s Day Dinner that the teams had set up 

Everyone was surrounded by their parents 

But, there were two empty seats around you 

You wanted to leave, but Max secretly had texted Christian and Geri 

You BEST know they showed up in best dress 

Tears might have been shed 

Tag List : @awekbachira @lightdragonrayne @itsjustkhaos

[garycxjk]

Why most people don't get Europapa

So, Joost Klein's Europapa apparently is taking the world by storm. With its happy hardcore or gabber house tunes and beats and the silly music video, there's no denying that this song has a certain charm, though it also has its detractors.

The thing is, though, most people on both sides don't fully get the song.

To summarize the song, it's essentially about an orphan who travels around Europe to find himself. Those were in Joost's own words.

Europapa is about an orphan who travels throughout Europe (and beyond) to find himself and tell his story. At first, people don’t recognise him, but he goes on seizing any opportunity he gets to let himself be seen. Europapa is a tribute to my father. When bringing me up, he passed on to me an expansive view of the world.

Okay, but why does the song sound so silly? Well, that's something deliberate. I don't really know much about Joost Klein's music, but what I do know is that this is basically what most of his songs are. Silly, yet deep.

Okay, brief detour to give context to the rest of what I'm writing, but it's important to remember that Joost Klein basically became an orphan at a young age. He lost his father to cancer when he was 12, and a year later, his mother died as well. This essentially shaped his music. From what I can gather from the many YouTube comments, he always watched Eurovision with his parents, and told them that one day he'd be there on stage.

So, let's just talk about the elephant in the room. Some people call this European propaganda. However, just the first few lines clue you in that it isn't just some pro-EU propaganda.

Welcome to Europe Stay here until I die

In fact, there are several lines used that wouldn't sit right if it were pro-EU propaganda. Let's look at the second verse.

Ich bin in Deutschland Aber ich bin so allein

Which roughly translates to

I'm in Germany But I'm so lonely

The next lines, "Io sono in Italia / Maar toch doet het pijn" (first line Italian, second line Dutch), which translates to "I'm in Italy / But I still feel pain".

Essentially, the entire song is him trying to let go of his past, to let go of his grief. That's essentially what the burning house and the windmill represent at the end, finally moving on from the past.

And that's essentially what the entire song is about. The entire song sounds like it's stuck in the '90s and early noughties. Naturally the most glaring part is the music style. Back in the '90s, happy hardcore and gabber house was really big, especially in the Netherlands. The way people dance back then and dressed when they did can be seen in the scene with Paul Elstak. Then there's the Gameboy Advance, which came out in the early 2000s.

Another cool thing is a reference to New Kids, a Dutch comedy show from 2007, when someone says "Welkom in Europa jongen!" ("Welcome in Europe boy!"). On the television screen, you can see Gerrie van Boven, played by Tim Haars, a character from New Kids.

But it isn't just a throwback. It's all being done deliberate. Something that gets lost in translation is the text. The rhymes work, however, to a Dutch person, it sounds a bit... childish. Very simple, at the very least. But I think that even that is done deliberately. It sounds like a child has been writing these lines, but I think that's the point of the song. It's supposed to sound like a child has been writing these lines.

The entire song is about the protagonist being stuck in the past, being stuck in his grief. It's why there's a disconnect between the text and the melody. Sure, it's a celebration of Europe, of Eurovision. Joost Klein genuinely loves Eurovision. However, it's also essentially him saying, this is me closing another chapter in my life.

Let's take a look at the outro of the song.

Op kruistocht in m'n spijkerbroek, lopend door de velden M'n papa en m'n mama zijn voor altijd mijn helden Aan het einde van de dag zijn we allemaal mensen M'n vader zei me ooit: "Het is een wereld zonder grenzen" Regen op het raam en ik stond huilend bij het venster Veel te vroeg duister, het is winter in de lente "Ik mis je elke dag", is wat ik stiekempjes fluister Zie je nou wel, pa? Ik heb naar je geluisterd

This... seems quite long, doesn't it? Well, that's because that's the full outro. What most hear during the video clip is this:

Aan het einde van de dag zijn we allemaal mensen M'n vader zei me ooit: "Het is een wereld zonder grenzen" "Ik mis je elke dag", is wat ik stiekempjes fluister Zie je nou wel, pa? Ik heb naar je geluisterd

Let's translate the full lyrics. I'll put the translations of the lyrics in the music video in bold and italic.

On my crusade in jeans, walking through the fields My dad and mom are forever my heroes At the end of the day we are all human beings My father once told me: "It's a world without borders" Rain on the window and I stood at the window crying Darkness far too soon, it's Winter in Spring "I miss you every day", is what I secretly whisper You see dad, I listened to you

So, basically, the gist is, this song has many layers. It's a heartfelt tribute to Eurovision, while also telling a personal story about grief and letting go of said grief.

Though I think this interview with Joost Klein on De Avondshow met Arjen Lubach may say more than I could.

Well, sometimes you must say goodbye to whatever is most dear to you. And when one door closes thousands of others open, apparently. But what I've learned is that you tend to hold on to your own pain sometimes. So this letter provides some sort of closure, dare I say. Saying: "Hey, Mum and Dad... You will always be there for me, but I can't carry this pain forever."

[scarletttries]

Roman Roy x Age-Gap! Reader Headcanons:

Pairing: Roman Roy (Succession) x Reader

Word Count: 2k (warning: mention of Logany child abuse)

Author’s Note: Oh Roman Roy, you're really making me fall in love with your sad little face and your slightly softening heart this season. Thank you for this request, please enjoy these thoughts about Roman Roy with a younger, but still very much legal adult, reader. Also please fill my inbox with Kendall and Roman requests because I am thinking about little else! 😊

Update! Part two here 😀

- Roman Roy has always felt simultaneously like he's never really grown up, and that he was never allowed to be a child. Growing up as the youngest son of Logan Roy he wasn't allowed the chance to make the silly mistakes of childhood folly. Logan had been through that before and frankly he needed Roman to be a serious adult from the moment he could comprehend his father's disapproving glare. Naturally this was an impossible ask of a small, sensitive boy, and led to blows to back of the head when tears threatened to stain the silk shirt he'd been so uncomfortably forced into for another endless press event where he stood like a prop, just desperate not to get in any more trouble or let his dad down worse than he already had.

- As Roman entered adulthood he began to be left out of all the rooms where serious people met and talked about things he could never quite get right; he's wasn't self-interested enough, he didn't have those killer instincts, he couldn't rid his head of the thoughts of how many people would be affected by the company's every move. As Logan and Kendall started to tire of his quippy comments, relegating him to waiting outside for busy work, he could feel himself struggling to meet the thresholds of adulthood that Ken seemed to have carried with him for as long as Roman could remember. This dichotomy of boy and man left Roman feeling like he was never quite comfortable with his age, unsure what lense to see that number through. And then he met you.

- Getting a job at Waystar may have left you feeling a little morally uncomfortable, but you reminded yourself that ten years experience there and you'd be able to get any job in any industry you like, while also being able to pay for your own place. So you pushed that feeling down each day as you entered that office full of rich old white men. Given you'd actually had to earn your place there, rather than just knowing someone, it wasn't long until your work ethic, intelligence and ingenuity had you climbing the corporate ladder in your department and getting you noticed by some of the much higher-ups. Naturally they tried to just take credit for your work, but when the day came that Logan actually asked for an explanation of a report you'd produced, Frank had no choice but to put you in a room with the big boss face-to-face.

- You'd heard nothing but bad things about Logan Roy and as he stared at you in pure contempt while you answered his questions, wondering why his time was being wasted with this young thing from the bullpen, it took all your resolve to hold your nerve, giving short answers and trying not to give him anything to hold over you. Every so often you'd let your eyes flick over his shoulder to the man standing behind him, ten years older than you but pulling at the sleeves of his shirt like a little kid as he watched you face the interrogation, outwardly seeming far more nervous about the situation than you did. After fifteen minutes of watching you hold your head high and speak so confidently about your work, Roman was staring at you unashamedly in a mix of awe, intrigue and disbelief. Despite the age gap you seemed to have all the facets of a self-assured adult that he felt he'd never quite unlocked, while exuding the joyful exuberance of youth he'd never been allowed. He needed to know more about you, so when Logan shouted at Gerri to 'throw you in a dress and bring to this week's investor mixers' he could feel his heart pounding in his chest at the sheer hope and possibility of the answers you might hold.

- You weren't thrilled to spend your evenings surrounded by colleagues, stood to attention in case anyone needed a question answering, but you didn't hate the full railing of designer evening wear that had been sent to your apartment for the occasion. You found yourself trying to blend into the shadows of a corner, unsure of your place in this room and this crowd, wondering if any of the food on display was actually for eating, or if that would be seen as a massive faux pas. Luckily Roman had been keeping an interested eye on you all evening; who you'd spoken to, what you'd been dressed in, the frankly adorable face you'd pulled when Frank handed you a Whiskey twice your age and you took a very unwilling sip, feigning appreciation before slinking away to stick your tongue out at the burning taste. And finally he built up the nerve to approach you now that you were alone, trying to approach casually by picking up a grape from the ornate platter beside you, only to take a bite, realise it was plastic and having to hand it mortified to a waiter that had watched the whole thing from your side. He could feel the blood burning in his cheeks as he watched you try and stifle a laugh, both mortified that you already knew he was a fool and pleased that he'd been able to bring a smile to your face this evening.

"Yeah yeah fuck you." He laughed as he stopped just in front of you, all the words he'd planned to share failing him now that he was close enough to see the beauty in your sincere smile as you shook your head,

"Really I should thank you, now I'm one step closer to figuring out what's actually edible here." You replied with a warmth that almost made Roman recoil, so used to the icy chill he usually received from those around him.

"Well certainly not that whiskey." He nodded to the short crystal glass you'd been trying to put down since Frank handed it to you, tone sarcastic but without the cutting edge he was usually one to deliver. "Why is that the one thing these old fucks actually like to be their own age?" As you laughed again Roman felt a little victorious, he had set himself a pretty low bar but he was confident he was going to be the highlight of your evening.

- As you spent the next week being dragged to different events, you'd always find Roman slinking to your side before the night was through, as if you'd always been old friends, just counting down the hours of everyone else's company. You'd counter his one-liners and then ask him where he'd rather be on a Friday night and make him realise he didn't really know any other kind of night. So when you'd list off your weekend plans, and hobbies and interests, and tell him stories about your friends that had his hyena laugh echoing across the otherwise solemn room, he'd start to realise just how much he was missing out on, and how much he wanted to explore that with you as his guide.

- It stopped being enough, just finding you on odd evenings. Roman would start finding your desk at Waystar, pretending to just be wandering through a junior office coincidentally. He'd glance at his wrist, ignoring the fact he'd forgotten to put on a watch this morning, and comment that as 'technically kind of your boss' he needed to make sure his best employees were actually taking a lunch break, and also were you hungry? Sometimes during the day he'd just melt onto the floor beside your desk, chatting about nothing as you tried your best to type and pay him the attention he so desperately craved. He'd start having all of his meetings in the rooms on your floor so he could wave at you as he walked past the huge glass windows keeping your team contained, an apt metaphor for the walls up inside him he was worried you'd never cross.

- Poor insecure Roman, he'd really try and force himself to ask you out, but ultimately he'd be so afraid of the potential backlash of rejection, that it would be up to you to finally ask if he wanted to grab a drink after work, one Friday when he'd been particularly clingy. You'd take him to a fun, casual bar and watch his eye's light up at people playing darts or ordering fried food and generally the nice, relaxed atmosphere where he didn't feel he had to be the smartest person in the room. Occasionally a friend of yours would walk in a wave and ask how you were doing, and you'd introduce Roman as your friend with no shame or regret and he'd say something funny and get the same rush of pride at making you laugh that he did the first time, and he'd feel like maybe the more time he spent getting to know you, the better he could see himself, still young at heart but not the kid he once was. His lost childhood and misspent youth given a second chance as you offered to see him again next weekend.

- Once you open the affectionate floodgates Roman would be the clingiest koala you can imagine. He'd rarely be as direct as holding your hand, especially not in public, conscious of looking just like his father with a younger woman on his arm. But in the privacy of your little apartment, the one Roman fell in love with the moment he saw it, he'd take a slightly threadbare throw and toss it over the both of you as he all but crumbled into your lap when he wanted to talk about something he thought would make you run. Opening up about his father's wrath and his warped view of himself, glancing up periodically to check you hadn't ran away and left him behind, finding softness in your eyes instead of disappointment and sinking even more deeply into you.

- Roman would think you are an absolute fucking genius for everything you've done for yourself. Worked hard to be the best at your job? Genius. Manage your own bills and do your own laundry? Genius. Carry a water bottle around and make him drink some when he has a headache and somehow he feels better than he has in years? Genius.

- Roman would follow you to hell and back, but you'll have to forcibly remove him from your apartment when you want to go outside. He's never been somewhere that actually felt like home, every soft furnishing and mismatched bowl making him want to haunt your halls forever. If you ever make him a home cooked meal, he'll act like it's not a big deal, but honestly he's crying inside that anyone would go through the effort for him, and that he was the person they chose to be around. Cut to him going thrifting with you to buy five new dishes for you to cook in next time, plus anything else you like.

- Occasionally you'll successfully get him outside for a hike, or a walk, or even a day at a museum or arcade; and Roman will go full toddler on you. Pointing at everything excitedly, running around and shrieking, making sure he was your undivided attention and dragging you by the hand to look at everything. By the time you're home you're ready to collapse, only to notice Roman surreptitiously placing a little souvenir somewhere on your shelf, sneakily bought from a gift shop while you were in the bathroom, before pretending he has no idea how it got there.

- Roman is so enraptured by the incredible, rounded human-being that you are, that eventually some of your self-belief would start to rub off on him, making him feel more sure of himself than he ever has before. Thinking less about the approval of others (except you, he still desperately wants that), feeling confident in his ideas, and no longer feeling like he's stuck in Peter Pan mode - despite falling for someone ten years his junior, Roman would finally feel like he was becoming the man he was always supposed to be, thanks to you.

Let me know if you want a part two of this!

[milfism-blog]

“Sarò La Tua Bambina Di San Valentino”

“I will be your Valentine baby girl”

Summary: While on vacation in Sicily, you ran into a hot readhead. What might happen when a bolt of electricity will go through both of you? Will this relationship only last at the resort? Is it just Melissa's first sexual experiment or the unexpected beginning of a blissful relationship? You should probably find out…

Warning: Comphet, Melissa being confused over her sexuality, mention of Gerry, a little bit of angst, fluff, smutty, explicit content. Read at your own risk!

Word Count: 5,3k

Author's note: It is my first smutty fic! Feedback is always appreciated! Have fun reading!

02.01.2023. Sicily, Palermo

You went on your first trip to Italy, Palermo specifically. You heard a lot about the beautiful city and of course the food. So in one click you booked tickets and of course a luxurious hotel. In addition, you lately noticed you have a type for confident Italian women so you planned to go all crazy for the trip. It was your vacation after all. No one knows who you are there and you can do anything without worrying about your work colleagues making videos and making fun of you later. You were already embarrassed at the working New years party with your co-workers. You are like a big family of best friends and of course, you all were drunk and made a lot of stupid decisions. Explicitly flirting with an older Italian woman you met in a club that night. Even though it was one  month ago. Your friends are still making fun of you. 

Actually screaming: “Beware milfhunter might steal one of yours moms!”

And if god heard your thoughts about hot Italian women. You saw one in the lobby of a hotel. Bright red hair caught your attention immediately. Dark squared glasses were keeping her hair from covering her beautiful face. Her massive golden earrings were reflecting the warm sun. It took some time for you to take in all her gorgeous curves. She was in a jumpsuit with a deep V neck which caught your attention. You were shamelessly staring at her gorgeous breasts without a bra. Your fantasy was running wild. You would not be surprised if your mouth was open. Without exaggeration, she looked like a goddess with olive skin you wanted to desperately touch and find out how soft it would feel. Is it as soft as it looks? Oh god this is going to be a ride.

You probably were staring for a good amount of time since she noticed and now she was looking straight into your eyes. They were a deep shade of green. You felt like a bolt of electricity went right through both of you. As if she was sending lightning bolts through her gorgeous eyes. And gosh her glare sent chills on your skin. 

The next day you went for breakfast and again you saw her there. She looked even more magnificent than yesterday. The morning sun was giving her olive skin a natural glow. Her deep green eyes were shining a light shade of olive. She had minimum makeup on. Just mascara to highlight her eyes and clear lip gloss. Her lips looked so full, so juicy as the most desired fruit. You wanted to taste them so bad.

When you left your table you went straight to your hotel suite. Unknowingly for you, she has followed you down the staircase. She was quietly observing you. You felt a strong gaze on your backless dress. The chills were back again. When you were about to open the door she pinned you down that hardwood door. You were shocked, to say the least. When you looked at the stronger woman. Her pupils were delayed. Not a single hint of green, only black. You were just staring at her eyes. Your heart was beating so fast as if it was going to jump from your rib cage. You missed the satisfied smirk on the redhead's lips. She was enjoying the power she was having over you. You looked like a lost mouse caught by a cat. So lost,so innocent, so deliciously accessible for her to use you. You tried to move but she pinned you harder. 

“You are not going to escape me, little mouse, now are you? Pretty innocent girl is scared now? Where did all the courage go?” She asked in a mocking tone.

Her voice sent you into a starstruck phase. So raspy, deeply rich voice. Fitted her personality so well. Dominant Italian woman pinning you against your room door, what can be better? 

Your eyes traveled from her beautiful eyes to her deliciously juicy lips. You gave in to the urge to passionately kiss her. And you went for it. Since she pinned your arms you tilt your head and went hard for the kiss. Your lips were desperate to get a taste of her. Her lips were as soft as silk. You couldn't hold the desperate whimper. She tasted like sweet Italian wine. Her delicate lips sent you into a euphoric state. When you took a needy breath closer to a moan. You smelled her sweet yet mucus sent. That you're gonna remember for sure. When you went again so desperately neddy for the taste to bite down her lip. So she would remember the next day who she kissed. And with that, she stopped you.

“No, no little mouse, that's not how deals are made. You are gonna listen to me and do everything I am telling you to do. Understood?” She rasped out.

Your knees buckled at her voice and demanding tone. You were not sure if you could even speak. You just nodded in surender. 

“No, sweet girl, I need to hear your voice.”

“Yes ma`am" You said with a trembling voice. 

“Good girl. Now open the door for me” She said in her deep voice. With a smirk on her face. She knew the effect her voice, her hands were having on you. 

With weak, trembling legs you opened the door. Almost instantly you felt strong arms on your waist. She suggestively walked you down to your bedroom and pushed you on bed. You started to take your clothes down but she stopped your actions. 

“No, bambina, let mommy take down all the clothes. You need to listen closely, baby. I have some rules for you. No touching mommy without asking, you're gonna listen to my instructions and behave.”

Oh if she knew the fire you were feeling all over your sensitive skin. Her delicate yet strong hands were tearing your clothes apart. The warmth from her palms was burning your skin. You already were at the edge since her first glance. You were so eager to please a marvelous stranger. The only thing you wanted her to do is use you so the only thing you will remember will be her title, her taste, her scent, her, only her.

“Come here bambina, let mommy ride your face”

You could not believe your luck, a stunning woman asking you to please her. How can you decline this delightful offer? It felt like a fever dream. She was teasingly slow taking down her clothes. She was purposely swaying her hips as if she was a predator and you were her prey. Her mouse.

She gave your neck a few bites here and there, not even bothering to smooth them. when she glanced at your face. You were totally blissed out. Completely at her mercy. 

She took down her ruined panties and took a seat on your face. Your senses were filled with her significant scent. The first lick was experimental to taste her. Her taste was a little mix of salt and sweetness. It was like blessed nectar. Your warm tongue licked her delicate labia. Her hips rolled at the action. You tried to steady her with your hands, but she slept them away.

“Remember the rules little mouse” she said, sternly.

You liked her again this time with more force. You made it your goal to memorize every curve, moan, whimper, curse. You wanted to drink her nectar, you're gonna take anything she is gonna give you. Her mind blowing taste was addictive, you wanted to eat her all. To give her the best orgasm in her life. You were softly nibbling at her sensitive skin. Swirling your tongue on a fragile rose. You gently pecked her clit. She groaned. You suck on it licked it and kiss it. She was slowly losing control. She was whimpering over you. 

“ahh, yes, like this, good girl!” She cried out.

Your tongue went diaper into her core, you were restless. Setting the faster rhythm. To send her over the age sooner. Since the goddess above you forbid you to use your fingers. You decided to challenge her with your skilled tongue. Switching between the suction of her bundle of nerves and going in teasing techniques of her core. Your face was covered in her sweet arousal. You were practically drowning in her scent. juices and moans. 

“Don't tease miele, mommy is going to reward you, ahh like this!”

You find her spongy spot deep in her core. You gave it a few light licks. With these actions, her hips were bucking back. Her moans became louder. She was playing with her full breasts to add more pleasure to her body. Your hands were scratching the olive skin of her thighs. Leaving red marks behind on a warm flesh. Giving more sensations and stimulation. Your tongue was skillfully going up and down her core. Small kisses here and there on her overstimulated clit. With each passing second her hips were swinging, she was trying to escape your experienced tongue. Your hands were clutching her thighs diligently. Every lick, suck, nibble was bringing her faster to the edge. Her breasts were bouncing. Her nipples were screaming for attention, she tried to pinch them in hopes it would make the ache to go away. She tugged on your hair. This action made you groan at the sensation. Long lasting vibrating suck of her clit sent her over the edge. She was desperately moaning. 

“You are such a good girl, little mouse” She praised you in pure bliss.

She fell on your torso. You gently kissed her. Letting her taste her pleasure. She moaned at her taste. You kissed her cheek and went straight down to clean her up with your delicate tongue. You cannot waste the sweet nectar. She whined at the overstimulation. You tenderly lapped the remains of her juices. Firstly on creamy thighs occasionally sucking on the skin. Finishing with a tender kiss right on her clit.

“That was the best orgasm in my life. You did pretty well for a little submissive mouse.” She said truthfully

“Now it is your turn bambina, mommy keeps her promises.” 

With these words she crawled over you. Her usual demeanor is back. She is ready to make you squirm and cry. 

What was supposed to be just a one night stand for both of you became something more, such as regular meetings, mind blowing sex, breakfast together, drinking wine together, deep talks. Simply just enjoying the company of each other. Just two of you against the world. Hell, you even moved in together, if you can call it like that. She was staying in the president lux. Big rooms, personal pool, jacuzzi, amazing balcony where you had the best talks. Her green eyes will haunt you forever. You already were feeling like you were falling in love. But you had to remind yourself, “It is just resort romance, nothing more, at least for her.”

Here comes your last day together on the 14th of February, day of love. But you could not escape the emptiness in your heart. Last day until she will disappear forever…

To your surprise, she ordered fruits and candles to set a romantic atmosphere. When you walked into the room soft jazz music was playing. Melissa walked to you with the bouquet of flowers in hand. You almost cried at the site. This is so sensual, beautiful. No one has ever done this for you. But she did. Maybe she was the one?

This gonna be one of your core memories. She already stole your heart. The goodbyes are going to be really painful. 

“Are you okay? Hon?” She repeated nervously, trying to figure out what was wrong. You were just staring at her beautiful green orbs. 

“If it is too much I'm so sorry I should not have to make it!” She sounded nervous, almost panicking. 

You whispered, resting the warmth of your hands on her shoulders.  

“I adore this so much! I've never had somebody do this for me. I really appreciate it.” You gave her assurance. caressing her and kissing her on the lips.

That final day gave you the impression of being a married couple right out of the honeymoon stage. She was carrying and completely open with you. You were both extremely delighted and nauseous from it. Tomorrow you will be flying to your home and family in a few hours. But somehow, without her, none of that made sense. Melissa was a tough woman. You figured that out while technically living together. But that specific night she let her guard down for you. And you could see the sadness in her eyes. Especially in the intimate moments when she was feeding you with a strawberry, kissing became more slow and desperate. That night was no power dynamic, just pure love and sensual kisses.

“I'm going to miss you little mouse” She spoke with obvious anguish in her voice as she conveyed her thoughts.  

With these words, you shared a last kiss. You felt like part of you died with you that day…

3 months later 

When you came back home you were in absolute despair. You were missing her so much it was physically hurting you. Everything, absolutely everything was reminding you of her. You were checking your phone every day in hopes of seeing a message or even a call from the redhead. Even your friends were worried for you. You spent the last three months by yourself mostly doing all your job responsibilities from home. You were looking through her pictures you took when she was unaware. Completely without makeup, happy. She was a big softie with you. One time you heard her perfume on the street. You looked like an absolutely lost dog looking for its owner. She was the only owner of your heart. 

Melissa was going through one of the most challenging crises in her life. Her vocation in Palermo completely changed her as a woman and as a person. When she booked the tickets to Italy she hoped she would find a hot young guy to hook up with. That fresh blood and dick will make her forget asshole Gary. That random stranger will make her feel loved and finally, she will cum. Because apparently Gary did not know anything about a woman`s body. He was a clueless idiot and she was simulating her pleasure, he did not notice the change at all. The idiot proposed to her even though they talked a lot about the subject. He just could not or did not want to hear what his woman wanted.  She was so tired of being lonely and sad all the time. Her love life was a wreck. But then you came into her life. Shamelessly staring at her but strangely she liked it. You were different, not like all the men she had been with. All her life she blocked the part of her that was thinking about experimenting with girls. Just the one thought of experimenting with a person of her gender was sending her into a panic. 

But. You.

She was not ready to share with you that you were her first woman she slept with. To be completely honest she thought she was just gonna use you as fulfillment of her needs and that would be it. But the way you were looking at her, so pure, so innocent, so happy. It broke her heart to think that she was just gonna use you so she just gave it a go. “No one is going to find out” she was saying to herself every day. Of course, all her thoughts and behavior were just echoes of the stigma. Liking women at her time was counting as something she should be ashamed of and better work this problem out by marrying a man. So he can cure her.

She managed to hide that “dirty” part of herself.

But then you appeared and showed that being loved by another woman is rather a blessing than a curse. The love was so gentle, understanding, and calming. And after all, nothing bad happened, she did not die on the spot as she was told. None of the bad things she heard were true. And then she saw all the great things about you such as you understood her by just looking right into her eyes, you were gentle and honest with her no one has done this for her. The guys just did not care about her pleasure and her as a person in general. Oh and your soft gentle lips, kind eyes, humor, everything about you…

While she was lost in her thoughts, realization struck her like a frigid wave. She fell in love... Just in two weeks with a mischievous stranger. Firstly she blamed herself for letting her guard down she let herself be emotional, feel emotions, experience emotions. That's what she mastered during her life. Put the guard up, be emotionless and life will be easy. Her exes used to tell her “Why are you acting like a bratty girl, stop being so emotional, jeezz are you on your period again?” So she stopped being emotional at all. But now her well-being was dependent on her happiness, on you. So she decided to break this circle of negative emotions and call you and tell you how she feels about you, and maybe ask you to be her girlfriend. To become hers.

 02.14.2024.

 United States of America, South Philadelphia 

It was Valentine's Day again. You felt a sense of dejavu reliving all the memories from the past. It took long enough for The Melissa Ann Kathrine Schemmenti to finally ask you out and ask you officially to be her girlfriend. But you didn't mind. You would wait for her as long as needed. She was like your special delicate, sensitive flower, you were a caretaker, you were patient and loving to see her blossom for you. When she did you were stunned by her true colors and personality. There were no masks, facade for both of you. Just pure love. You wanted to make her feel extra special on this day, which was also your anniversary (almost, but nonetheless). And it is going to be your first Valentine's as a couple. So exciting! 

But since you want to make this day special that does not mean you will not tease her. You like to push her buttons and see her reaction. And today was even more thrilling. You bought special lingerie for the occasion. Of course, you like to spoil your girl by buying new lingerie and see her reaction. You created a plan, you went to buy a new undergarments set. To your luck on Valentine's, there are a lot to choose from. One looked specifically spicier than the others, that's what you need! It had heart-shaped cutting on the nipples, with a light pink lace. It gave your breasts amazingly good lift even though this piece did have a push-up effect. To finish the lustful garment there is a cherry red thong with a small heart with a text that says “Eat me”. You put that on, you looked absolutely amazing. Reds and pinks colors were bringing accent to your skin tone, the thong was giving your ass more roundness. Mel would definitely like it. You also found light pink stockings, oh you knew how this look would make Melissa go absolutely crazy over you.

Your mind visited a naughty thought. You took your phone it lit up with the photo of you and your girlfriend laughing in Palermo. Your heart swelled with love. You opened the camera app and began to pose. The first one was you touching your unique bra, using your other hand to cover your nipples a little bit. The other one was you bending down and putting your ass up purposely to give it more roundness. Maybe it was not smart to take these photos and send them to your beloved Melissa during work but just thought about seeing her flustered and a little nervous. The thought of you turning her on was seducing you too much. And of course, you wanted to have fun tonight. In no time you got a response.

La mia dea italiana (my Italian goddess)

“Oh bambina, don't start something you can't finish, but the set look exquisite on you or I rather should say you look exquisite my darling.”

But you know her tough response is a facade. In reality, she is sitting in her classroom in her free period trying to play it cool because right now her mind is getting crazy by just one look at the amazing bra or the thong. You literally set fuel to the fire. But again, you are gonna worry later, or you might enjoy restless Melissa Schemmenti…

The sound of soft Italian jazz music welcomed you when you arrived home. The memories of your last night with the fiery redhead in Italy came flooding back, but now you realize you have plenty of time to spend together. You smiled at the realization that she is yours and you are hers. Hearts tied together. While taking off your boots, you noticed the path made of red petals heading towards your bedroom. And it clicked, Mel was recreating your last night in Italy. The roses, the music. You decided not to waste more time, excited to see what your beautiful girlfriend prepared for you. When you went upstairs there was an envelope with text on it “Open Me”. You eagerly opened it, it had instructions for you. “Hello again my sweet mouse, read closely, take off your clothes, stay only in your new lingerie set, and head upstairs!” 

You rushed out of your clothes, even the nickname “mouse” She definitely was recreating your night. You assumed she wanted to make things right this time? No more sadness, just pure bliss.

You opened the door to your bedroom and your mouth fell open at the view. The gorgeous redhead had a proud smirk on her lips. Evidently pleased with the reaction she got from you. You were too stunned to speak. The smoking hot Melissa Schemmenti had nothing but a pair of dark red lace thong without any bra just her exquisite breasts. Soft creamy skin was calling for you to kiss, caress, lick, touch it. When you looked more closely you noticed that her rosey nipples were covered with chocolate. On the bedside table were strawberries waiting for you to use them, fresh melted chocolate in a bowl was ready for use. You walked down to her as you were enchanted by her breasts. 

“Come here little mouse, I might need your help.” she fake paunted. Her eyes were telling you the other story. They were glistering with lust.

While you were occupied by shamelessly staring at her breasts, she was taking in your form with the new lingerie that you bought for her. She was practically eating you up with her eyes as if you were her prey.

“I figured you might like this il mio dolce tesoro, do not contain your stares. I absolutely love when you look at or touch my amazing tits. I know you love them. It is still vivid in my memory how you were eyeing my girls in that hotel lobby. Absolutely shamelessly, you are such a naughty girl. But I love you for it. My naughty mouse”

You could not believe your luck. Mel prepared all this sweet yet spicy, to be honest overly spicy, and all of this just for you, just for your eyes to see, your tongue to taste, to devour. 

“But we have some rules here, like last time. Rules for my favorite little mouse. First, you are going to address me only as ma`am, mistress, and mommy. Second, you are not allowed to take off my thong, this night is only about my tits and my titis only. Since you were brave enough to tease me during my work hours. You get a challenge if you can make me cum by just using your skilled tongue and hands on my breasts. Today you're gonna make me finish by just eating and admiring my breasts.” 

She announced the rules. Her beautiful green olives are gone in a lustful gaze. You can see how her breathing is erratic. Her eyes are focused on you. Almost silently asking you to start. 

“Yes, mistress” you breathed out. Your thighs are pressing together in need of any sort of friction.  

You sat on her lap. Melissa could feel your ruined underwear on her thighs. While she was streaked with the new sensation of your clothed pussy on her warm inviting thigh. Oh, how you wanted to take a ride... But just one stern look from your beloved Italiano made you behave. You wanted to be her good girl. Melissa, unlike you, could not take the tension any longer she yanked a fistful of your hair. Passionately inviting you for a bruising kiss. You whimpered at the sensation. She was restless. Biting hard on your lip just to slide her dominant tongue into your warm mouth. This action made you unconsciously desperately grind onto her soft creamy thigh.

“Ah, ah little mouse is breaking the rules again” She stated with a sly smirk playing on her puffy lips. 

Still having her hand in your hair she pulled you straight into her tits. You moaned at the action right between delicate skin. Melissa was completely drowning you in her exquisite breasts. You were totally blissed out, your face pressed between her tits. Giving up any sort of control, you give in to the desire to bite down soft flesh. Smoothing down with your warm gentle tongue. Melissa responded with a groan. Her olive skin was covered in shivers. Just from one action. It was no secret for both of you that her breasts were subject of admiration. She also loved them, loved the attention she got from you. Now it was a research question to see how sensitive her breasts are and how many minutes, or hours would it take for you to make her cum?

“Tesoro, do this again!” she groaned out.

You bit her again. Taking the heated bowl with the meted warm chocolate you covered your tits in the steaming liquid. You shivered at the warm tingly sensation. Making your rosey buds harden almost instantly. Mel licked her lips before launching her tender lips and sucking on your right nipple. You let out a cry at the delicious feeling. Of her lips on your nipple softly nibbling on the pointy flesh. Her other hand palmed your left tit. Using her nails to tease the nipple. The sensations were sending you into bliss. Her scent, her warm inviting skin, warmth radiating from her big breasts. You closed your eyes to focus more on the pleasure she was giving you. 

“Agh, mommy, please, bite me again agh, rougher plaeaase” You screamed from the sensations. The pool in your underwear was no help. You became more needy with every passing second.

You practically glazed more chocolate on her inviting breasts. Slowly licking the tender olive skin. You started with the top, kitten licking right breast, gently sucking on the skin around her areola. You were teasing, changing speed between agonizingly slow to faster with your tongue drawing different patterns. One of them was the word “mine”. Caressing the other breast with your nails. Giving a firm quiz here and there. Melissa was getting overwhelmed with feelings. She was so sensitive, everywhere. Firstly her breasts were on fire, pleasantly carried away with your skillful tongue, you sweet words you were drawing with your tongue on her breasts. The warm hand that was palming her left breast was sending light pulsations straight to her pussy. She became so putty in your hands. 

“Like that, good girl, you are doing so great, just suck nipples, they are aching for your experienced tongue” She cried out. Pressing your lips closer to her overstimulated nipples. 

Her praise was making your pussy clench around nothing. You were so happy to please your mistress. So eager to make her cum. Like no other men on this planet will. The sweetness of chocolate was mixing up with the significant taste of your gorgeous girlfriend. Making you want to devour her without mercy. Her fragrance was interacting with a sweet scent of chocolate. Revealing new muscusy notes in the air. Her strawberry lip gloss was like a cherry on top of the sweetness. All your senses were blessed with her gorgeous presence.

Your velvety lips were gently sucking on her exuberant nipples. Redhead responded with a breathy moan. She harshly pressed you into her exquisite breast. Too lost in the moment to care. You started to bite down slowly on the puffy bud. Changing the frequency of suction and biting. Gazing your teeth over a chocolaty-covered nipple adds more dopamine to your system. The taste of skin with sweetness was an amazing combination for your taste buds. Switching to another nipple you bit harder, smoothing harsh sensation with a lapping of your tongue. Taking a break from her nipples made her a whining mess.

“Amore…” Melissa whined out, while squirming her hips.

“Please, do-dont stop” She complained.

You took more strawberries and chocolate. You covered her reddened buds with chocolate and squirted strawberries over her breasts. Not caring where it will lend. As if there is no tomorrow you began to follow down the drops of juice. Making patterns, softly nibbling, and harshly biting down the pinkish flash.

“Tesoro please, I am so, so closeeeee” she was a crying mass. The overstimulation made her brain get foggy. She became more whinny. Desperately trying to get her release. 

You were practically sucking out her buds, areolas, using your tongue to tease, smooth, irritate, and get a reaction from a hot beast. Your delicate hands were palming her puffy tits. Your nails were gazing over and over over sensitive pointed rosy skin. One last suck of your tongue, one lust swirl of your hand on her nipple sends her over to the sweetest release she got from this type of stimulation. Her eyes got lost in the back of her head. Her hips are uncontrollably bucking against nothing. Her hands firmly tugging on your hair, pressing hard into her tits. Her thighs are moving intensively which makes your hips join her rhythm to saddle over her thigh. You were following her movements to make you reach your desired release together. You collapsed in bed. Heavy gasping for air. 

“ Well, well you did pretty good for a little muse, il mio amore” 

With these words, you shared a passionate, loving kiss. And that night you had the best sleep in each other's arms. Melissa finally felt content and loved. She did not regret her decision to start a resort romance. Now she has her girl. Sleeping right beside.

What a Valentines…

[redgoldsparks]

June Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe

I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut.

Say Nothing: A True Story of Murder and Memory in Northern Ireland by Patrick Radden Keefe read by Matthew Blaney 

This is one of the most gripping and well-researched nonfiction books I've read in a long time. Keefe draws on many research trips, interviews, news paper archives, and personal encounters to tell several interwoven narratives of violence and protest during the time of The Troubles in Northern Ireland. He follows the story of the infamous Price sisters, women who joined the IRA while in college, helped plant many bombs, and became hunger strikers after receiving hefty prison sentences; Jean McConville, a widowed mother of ten who was dragged from her home and disappeared by the IRA; Brenden Hughes, a commanding office of the IRA who escaped assassination attempts and prison, who committed a huge amount of violence but ultimately became disillusioned with what he had done; Gerry Adams, who claims he was never an IRA office despite massive evidence to the contrary, who helped negotiate the peace treaty before launching a successive political career; and many more. I highly recommend this book, especially to anyone wrestling with the moral question of violent versus nonviolent resistant, and what the long, messy process of building peace can look like, at least in one specific place and time.

Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata translated by Ginney Tapley Takemori read by Nancy Wu

Keiko Furukura has never fit in with the others around her. Early in elementary school she learned to keep her mouth shut because people often found the things she said (which felt logical and obvious to her) deeply upsetting. But at age 18, Keiko applied for a job at a convenience store and found her life's calling. The store is the only place where she feels really comfortable, needed, useful, and able to interact easily with others inside the routines of customer service. When the book opens Keiko is 36 and has been working the same low level job for her entire adult life. She has no desire for change but others around her are beginning to pressure her more and more to pursue a "normal life", that is, marriage and a better paying job. Keiko can be easily read as an autistic, asexual character; I really enjoyed how her perspective on life was written, even when I enjoyed less the actual things going on around her. A whiny, sleezy man takes up a lot of space in the second half of the story, but I found the ending very hopeful.

How to Love by Alex Norris 

Short, sweet, and insightful. Norris brings the humor of their "Oh No" comic series to this guide to feelings and relationships, but mixed with deep compassion. The visual metaphors are hilarious and perfect.

Becoming Who We Are: Real Stories About Growing Up Trans by Sammy Lisel and Hazel Newlevant and others 

A wonderful collection of short comics about trans people with different stories, experiences, jobs, and dreams. Each story is illustrated by a different artist which gives each tale its own voice. An accessible and affirming collection, especially for young readers!

Fool’s Quest by Robin Hobb read by Elliot Hill

This book picks up right after the traumatic kidnapping at the end of the previous volume, but packs a surprising amount of big plot twists in before the journey to recover the young people even begins. This book suffers from some middle book of a trilogy pacing issues; the action beats of the story sometimes falling at awkward spots, and the story continuing past what might have felt like its more natural ending. That didn't stop me from being RIVETED during the entire 33 hour audiobook. I am so obsessed with these characters. I feel the weight of everything they've been through, the six decades of in-story time, and the consequences and ripple effects of everything that has gone before. This volume continues to push a running theme of very gender-ambiguous characters; there are now two characters who defy an easy binary, and Fitz is finally coming to terms with that in one of his oldest and dearest friends. I'm excited and slightly terrified to head into the 16th and final book of this series soon!

Vera Bushwack by Sig Burwash 

This book is simultaneously a fairly quiet story of a gender-nonconforming queer living with just a dog on a piece of rural property, working on building a cabin from scratch; and also an ambitious exploration of gendered power fantasies. At the start, Drew is learning how to operate a chainsaw to cut trees and clear property from a rural neighbor. Flashbacks and phone calls reveal how Drew got her dog, some of the shitty men she's had to deal with, a past lover who helped her cut a trail to the river, and a tomboy childhood. These scenes of rough realism are interrupted when Drew jumps on her dirt bike or revs the chainsaw and her fantasies spin out across the page, full of wild horses, monster trucks, naked cowboys, symbols of complete and total freedom. This book is deceptively complicated, full of bold creative choices that I really appreciated, even if they didn't all work for me. I have a feeling this story is going to stick in my head for a long time.

In the Form of a Question written and read by Amy Schneider 

A very engaging memoir from Jeopardy champion Amy Schneider, born and raised in Dayton, Ohio, who moved to Oakland, California as an adult and never left. Each chapter title is a question and cover topics thematically rather than chronologically. Schneider is very forthcoming and honest, writing about everything from her transition, her open marriage, her first sexual experiences, recreational drug use, polyamory, community theater, relationship with her parents and more. She has a humorous and yet compassionate voice, relating tales of her hatred of boy scouts, ADD, and failures to understand her own gender without belittling her younger self. Towards the ends of the book she writes of her experience of fame and what she got out of her time on Jeopardy saying that stepping into the public eye as a trans woman and being met mostly with support and love changed her life as much as the 1.5 million she won over a 40 game winning streak and various other tournaments. If you are a fan of Jeopardy, or just curious, this is a fun listen.

Ruth Asawa: An Artist Takes Shape by Sam Nakahira 

Ruth Asawa was born in Southern California to parents who had immigrated from Japan before WWII. After the bombing of Pearl Harbor, her whole family was displaced to the internment camps, loosing their farm, all of their farm animals, and nearly everything else they owned. Ruth finished high school inside a camp in Arkansas but was able to leave when she apply to and was accepted into college. She was faced with discrimination and racism, but eventually she was able to pursue her dream of becoming an artist at the experimental Black Mountain College in North Carolina. She studied under influential and well-known teachers who helped her find her own creative voice. She also met the love of her life there. The couple eventually relocated back to California, which had just legalized interracial marriage. Sam Nakahira captures Asawa's courage, determination, and incredible talent in tender line art with delicate grey scale washes. Asawa's best known work, her innovative wire sculptures, are gorgeously rendered. Asawa's insistence on treating every activity of her life, from gardening to parenting to drawing to sculpting, as creative, is a good reminder for me and every artist that living itself can be a creative practice.

People From My Neighborhood by Hiromi Kawakami translated by Ted Goossen 

A charmingly strange set of interconnected stories about a neighborhood in Japan full of unusual characters. The unnamed child narrator tells us of the middle aged woman who runs a karaoke bar out of her house, the old man with two shadows, the child who is passed from house to house by lottery because his parents cannot support him, a diplomat who might be an alien who no one ever seen, the arrival of a mountain of sand, a school built of candy, a girl with prophetic dreams, and more. The stories escalate in weirdness over the course of the book and also introduce more reoccurring characters. The short 4-6 pages chapters made it compulsively readable. I had a great time with this, despite the lack of an overarching plot.

The Contradictions by Sophie Yanow

At age twenty, after a bad breakup, the author signed up for a study abroad program in Paris. Lonely and soul searching in a foreign country, Yanow spots a girl riding a fixed gear bike. Yanow is a committed bicyclist and chases the girl down to learn she is also an exchange student, also recently broken up with, a committed anarchist and a shoplifter. Yanow and her new friend decide to take a poorly planned trip to Amsterdam, intending to hitchhike the whole way. About as many things go wrong as you might expect. In beautifully minimalist black and white panels, Yanow perfectly captures the naivete and first political awakenings of a young college student trying to seem cool and so taking risks and hiding passions in order to impress someone new. A quick read and a master class in understatement.

Little Weirds written and read by Jenny Slate 

There was a lot I enjoyed in this memoir, as well as some aspects that worked less well for me. I enjoyed Slate's writing style and the focus on small moments of beauty and reclaiming one's right to live fully in one's body, acknowledging all of its human needs for softness and love. I liked her whimsy and sense of humor and kindness. I do wish that some of the chapters had been slightly more grounded in some of the facts and loose timeline of Slate's life. I didn't know anything about her before starting the book and it took me until almost the last chapter to learn she was the middle of three sisters; a line earlier on had made me think she was maybe a twin. It became clear that she was writing through the process of emotionally recovering from a divorce, but I only learned from wikipedia that her ex-husband had also been a major creative collaboration partner. I wonder if she expected most people reading this book to already be familiar with her biography? Regardless, don't go into this book looking for facts; go instead for a nonlinear reclamation of some simple but hard-won emotional truths and skip any chapter that isn't speaking to you.

People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks, read by Edwina Wren

This book tells a fictional history of a real manuscript- the Sarajevo Haggadah, a beautifully illuminated Hebrew manuscript created in fifteenth-century Spain. The frame narrative follows an Australian manuscript conservation specialist, Hanna Heath, hired to re-bind the pages in the mid 1990s for a Bosnian museum that until extremely recently was in the middle of a war zone. Alternating chapters dip into contentious periods of Europe's history, usually moments of high tension between religious groups (WWII, Vienna at the turn of the century, the Spanish Inquisition in Venice, the banishment of Jews from Spain in 1492, Muslim/Christian conflicts in Seville in the 1480s) and trace how the Haggaadah managed to survive fire, flood, blood, war, and exile in the hands of many different people. This is an ambitious book that mostly achieved is goals; I got through the 14 hour audiobook very quickly. One unfortunate side effect of the narrative structure is that I as the reader didn't spend more than a few hours with any of the characters, and so didn't develop a particularly deep emotional connection with any of them, including Hanna, the lead. My rating is more of a 3.5 or 3.75 rounded up. But still, I appreciate Brooks eye for capturing just most exciting or tense moment from a historical era and will likely try a few more of her books in the future.

Punk Rock Karaoke by Bianca Xunise 

Three friends, recently graduated from high school, struggle to keep their punk band together through the demands of early adulthood. College applications, jobs, family obligations, and makeout partners are all knocking on the door, demanding to be let in. Will Ariel, Michele, and Gael be able to stay true to their creative spirits and to each other? I had a great time with this fast-paced, sweaty summer, friendship-focused book even though the majority of the punk music references went right over my head.

Parasol Against The Axe by Helen Oyeyemi 

Helen Oyeyemi continues to baffle and dazzle me. This one is set in and narrated by Prague, which is a tricky city full of its own complicated whims and desires. Into this self-aware city enter several women: Sofie and Polly, an engaged couple, celebrating their bachlorette weekend together with friends. Hero, a somewhat estranged friend of Sofie's, who come to Prague mostly to avoid a piece of registered mail which is chasing her down. And Thea, a woman willing to commit violence for the right price, on a hired revenge mission that happens to intersect with a dark episode of Sofie and Hero's past. Does that sound straight forward? It isn't. Oh yes and there's also a book, Paradoxical Undressings which tells a different story to every person who cracks open its covers. This book allows Oyeyemi to tell many nested and fantastical anecdotes from Prague's Communist past. As with most Oyeyemi books, there are a few threads I was left scratching my head over, but I had such a good time on the ride that I don't mind. I'll just have to read it again and see if I catch them (assuming it's the same book when I open it a second time!) 

The Sacrificers Vol 1 by Rick Remender, Max Fiumara and Dave McCaig 

The art is absolutely stunning, but the story is a bit too cruel and dark for me to really enjoy. This book takes the concept of the child sacrifice of Omelas and expands it out into a whole fantasy world, in which gods maintain their power through the consumption of innocents. The stunning color panel carried me though the first volume but I'm unlikely to pick up a second book.

Brides of High Hill by Nghi Vo read by Cindy Kay

Another satisfying installment in the Singing Hills Cycle! In this one, Cleric Chih accompanies a young woman and her family to the remote estate of her prospective husband. But all is not as it seems. The potential husband looks at least twice as old as the young woman, and he has a son shut up in a pagoda and kept drugged in his gardens. Everyone on the estate is in some kind of danger, but the secrets are thicker and deeper than even the Cleric can guess.

[irradiatedsnakes]

the Big TMA Furry List

this list with commentary/choice rationale below the cut :] i wrote a lot of thoughts down do please check it out.

jon: common raven

martin: tan jumping spider

sasha: southern flannel moth

not!sasha: red postman

tim: jackson's chameleon

melanie: eastern copperhead

georgie: triceratops horridus

basira: domestic cat (calico shorthair)

daisy: domestic dog (german shepherd)

elias: barn owl. jonah: eurasian eagle owl.

gerry: domestic dog (black doberman)

annabelle: white-booted racket-tail

jane: cabbage white

michael: spiny softshell turtle

helen: common hermit crab

oliver: black vulture

peter: risso's dolphin

mike: caelestiventus hanseni

jude: black kite

agnes: ???

nikola: stealing major's carousel horse

jared: american dog tick

breekon&hope: Hog and/or Bear. you get no more information

dekker: mouflon

gertrude: great tit

leitner: domestic cat (persian)

manuela: gray long-eared bat

rayner: olm

salesa: sea otter

simon: dodo

elaboration below !

jon: common raven

this was a choice i made before i even finished listening to the podcast back in 2020. jon's 1000% a bird to me, and the curious nature of corvids works well here. plus, i think a bird so universally ominous as a raven works perfectly as a horror protag :P i used to draw raven!jon with a couple troodon traits, mostly just cus it was fun, but i wanted to make my designs more grounded for this iteration. made them plantigrade, didn't get silly with body styles like i have with mp100 designs.

martin: tan jumping spider

if you've been here for a while you'll know that my furry martin has gone through about two million iterations. he started off as a european pine marten, to bold jumping spider, to chinese pangolin, to nine-banded armadillo, finally to nurse shark.

out of all of these the spider and the shark are my favorites. i wanted to go back to the jumping spider though- the design is really fun and i wasn't able to get the expressions right, but i'm more confident in my skills now and i'm having fun with the design. i may revisit nurse shark at some point. i switched from bold to tan jumper- i originally chose bold just cus they're my favorite jumper, but their stark black/white and iridescent aqua coloration just doens't work for martin. so, the tan jumper!

sasha: southern flannel moth

another old choice. species chosen because of a friend's fic, pharos by right (another i'm planning to reread now that i'm dipping my toes back into tma..)! southern flannel moths are poofy and orange, and their caterpillars are those super painful teddybear ones. i really like the design.

not!sasha: red postman

wanted to have her be another lepidopteran, and with all the many examples of mimicry among the group i thought red postman was a fun choice. doesn't look anything like a southern flannel moth, but that's sort of the point.

tim: jackson's chameleon

yet another choice from the oldtimes- most of the main characters are, i've mostly switched around the more secondary chars. first suggested, i believe, by @/ofdreamsanddoodles. i think there's something very fun about chameleons being basically a living mood ring & tim's Descent s1-3 showing physcially not just through the worm scars but through like, constant stress coloration during s3.

melanie: eastern copperhead

one of my favorite choices. i have a young copperhead specimen named after her. this one is quite vibes-based, but i do really like the copperhead as a viper that is not deadly. and i'm always a sucker for the "animal perceived as scary and violent that in actuality only strikes when under extreme stress" thing in furry assignments.

georgie: triceratops horridus

another favorite choice. visually, i really like how this works out, and trikes as a social and protective animal works well. she's literally got a shield on her face. horridus was chosen because i like the shape of the head and horns better than prorsus.

basira: domestic cat (calico shorthair)

got a little cat/dog thing going on for dasira. i like the inversion of the usual cat/dog dynamic with their unhealthy devotion instead, and visually it just works very well for them both.

daisy: domestic dog (german shepherd)

yeah i know this one's an exceedingly obvious choice.

elias: barn owl. jonah: eurasian eagle owl.

it's the institute logo! it's him! barn owl for elias specifically because of its very sleek look, designing him went fantastically. also, i can make the eagle owl's face disk work as a mimicry of ben meredith's muttonchops, which i think is a fun design bit to give to magnus.

gerry: domestic dog (black doberman)

certified gerryguy @/gerrydelano's choice. to quote a discord message from 3 years ago (sorry ron): "i feel like.........my INSTINCT is some kind of canine because like. the whole symbolism thing about being either an obedient or rabid dog. something something muzzled all your life. being a dangerous figure if people only see the silhouette but you just want scritches and nobody'll get close enough to you." black dog symbolism + breed which has ears cropped and tail docked, unecessarily molded for a Purpose which the dog has no say in

annabelle: white-booted racket-tail

sort of my original choice- she used to be part white-booted racket-tail, part anna's hummingbird. kept with the racket-tail cus it's fun and very cute. i've had a couple people express surprise that she wasn't a spider, but i think that's way too obvious. hummingbirds, though- they steal the webs of spiders to use as material to make their nests, but can sometimes become trapped in the webs and eaten by the spiders themselves. which is probably the metaphor-via-fursona-assignment i'm most proud of in this whole list

jane: cabbage white

the cabbage white is a butterfly whose caterpillars are routinely parasitized by the parasitoid wasp the white butterfly parasite. in case you're not familiar, parasitoid wasps lay their eggs on (usually) caterpillars, which hatch on the still-living caterpillar, devouring it from the inside before eventually emerging from the consumed husk of the host. also, i really liked the image of parasitoid wasp larvae emerging from an adult butterfly, rather than a caterpillar.

michael: spiny softshell turtle

for michael and helen, i wanted to choose animals which were, in some way, their own home. turtle is an obvious choice- and spiny softshells are a favorite of mine, and sufficiently strange-looking.

helen: common hermit crab

see previous entry. also please google "hermit crab without shell"

oliver: black vulture

bit of an obvious choice, but i adore vultures so i had to. black vulture chosen because i think the monochrome color scheme + straighter face work better than a turkey vulture for him

peter: risso's dolphin

i really like the idea of a cetacean for peter and the lukases as a whole, a famously social animal for the seemingly contradictory nature of this lonely-but-huge family, plus with so many cetaceans being endangered getting that lonely angle (risso's specifically are not, though, as peter is lonely through his own choice, not by circumstance).

mike: caelestiventus hanseni

it's a dimorphodont. he feels like a pterosaur to me, and i like the idea of a vast avatar as a usually short-flying arboreal species, for the unnaturality/contrast of it.

jude: black kite

black kites are one of the species of kites known to intentionally spread fires by picking up burning sticks to flush out prey.

agnes: ???

the only one i'm still undecided on. will update.

nikola: stealing major's carousel horse

i can't top that

jared: american dog tick

great choice from @/magnusarchivememes. Takes Your Blood And Gets So Big

breekon&hope: Hog and/or Bear. you get no more information

vaguely russian animals that are large and imposing but remain somewhat generic. which is the hog and which is the bear is not consistent.

dekker: mouflon

dekker has very much mammal vibes to me. the mouflon is a neat species of wild sheep. i think the noble, imposing but kind image of the ram works well for dekker as that sort of true-good hero figure, and mouflons in particular are very nice looking with good shapes. the statement giver in distant cousin describes dekker as "though he was slightly shorter than I was, it seemed like he towered over me." which i think this sheep works well with.

gertrude: great tit

i wanted all the main eye avatars as birds, just like how i give them all glasses. just a fun little treat for me. great tit was chosen for gertrude as a kind of classic british bird, and as tits in general are VERY fiesty despite their round and adorable appearance. i really like this image of a great tit posing with a dead mouse like it's a hunter with a trophy deer. the cheek markings also work really well to bring to mind the image of old person jowls.

leitner: domestic cat (persian)

vibes. also i like the idea of him as a spoiled domestic animal. if i remember correctly, this was also @/ofdreamsanddoodles' suggestion

manuela: gray long-eared bat

she's a bat. what's to say. WELL actually okay there's the perception of bats as blind but actually having quite good vision which i think meshes in a fun way with the dark, and the way manuela does her sciency stuff.

rayner: olm

i mean, yeah

salesa: sea otter

largely design-oriented, suitably scruffy. ocean animal with strong social bonds, it was a slam dunk soon as i thought of it.

simon: dodo

how couldn't i, come on.

[kitkatkitchen]

The Magnus Archives - Fave episodes and final thoughts

I have just done the incredible task of finishing The Magnus Archives. Idk what to really do with myself now besides tell you all about my fave episodes and highlights of the series. So, without further ado, statement begins:

MAG 4 - Page Turner

A classic season 1 episode. A great introduction to Leitner! I originally loved this episode because I love books and loved the gothic and creepy vibes of Mary Keay’s book shop. I now love it because of my beloved GERRY KEAY!!!! You heard it here first, folks, I’m a Gerry Keay stan and will not apologise.

MAG 16 - Arachnophobia

I honestly just love the image of this guy aggressively killing this spider over and over and going mad.

“Perfectly natural explanation for why his body was encased in web”

Thanks Jon… helpful.

MAG 26 - A Distortion

I love the plot slowly starting to thicken during season 1. We ❤️ Micheal on this account.

MAG 32 - Hive

I love the genuine unsettling nature of this statement. A real look into the maddening mind of Jane Prentiss and our lovely Archivist branching out with his acting abilities.

MAG 39 - Infestation

“Statement of Jo Spooky”

All of our season 1 babies fighting it out with a bunch of worms!! Plus Tim being a legend as per usual. This was the episode that I fell in love with Tim. Idk the image of him kicking through a wall while being high on gas is always iconic to me.

MAG 61 - Hard Shoulder

DAISY >>>>

Also Breakon and Hope being creepy boyfriends.

MAG 65 - Binary

This was the episode that scared me the most out of all the series. It made me physically sick and I almost considered turning it off. But that’s all the more reason to love the incredible writing of it.

MAG 80 - The Librarian

Oh yeah Kit must love this episode because of all the big reveals and lore dumps!

WRONG!

I love this for Gerry beating up Leitner and the sounds of brutal pipe murder!

MAG 96 - Return to Sender

We also ❤️ Breakon and Hope on this account.

Also Jon doing a Cockney accent is so inherently funny to me.

MAG 101 - Another Twist

MICHEAL!

MAG 111 - Family Business

You will not be shocked to find out that this is my favourite episode. I am in love with Gerry Keay and this episode made me so sad yet so happy to finally hear his voice.

Also I get gender envy from him. No, I will not be taking questions.

MAG 119 - Stranger and Stranger

NOOOOO TIMMMMM

Such great sound for this episode plus I’m a sucker for dramatic moments.

MAG 128 - Heavy Goods

Once again, we love Breekon and Hope. Boyfriends.

MAG 154 - Bloody Mary

Eric is so cute. Also once again we get Gerry lore.

ALL OF SEASON 5

Incredible. We love John and Martin. And those last two episodes were INCREDIBLE. I have no words

Sorry that was so long!

If anyone has any other podcast recommendations I’d really appreciate them!

[starsandsugars]

Burning Desire (pt.2)

PART 1

PAIRING: Shiv Roy x reader

SUMMARY: Hooking up with Shiv Roy while working for her father's company had been a mistake. Surely you were sensible enough to know that. So how is it that on your work trip a one time thing has turned into a two time thing? (18+)

____________________________________________

You had found it difficult to focus on the task at hand when all you had to go off of was the way her hands looked gripping a pen. How were you supposed to think clearly now that you knew what those fingers felt like inside of you?

When you had left that night, gathering your things from her apartment and creeping out in the hopes that her husband didn't hear (despite her insistence that their relationship was open) you thought that would be the end of it.

You had one world shaking night with Shiv and that would be the end of it. You expected her to ignore you the next time she saw you. That's not exactly what happened.

As Gerri's second in command you went pretty much wherever she went. Including the occasionally work trips and even company 'holidays' which seemed more like an excuse for the family and company higher ups to scheme without intervention. To you though, it meant a free weekend at the beach with unending cocktails and plenty of time to gossip with Gerri about the ridiculousness of everyone in the Roy bloodline.

You didn't expect this trip to be any different, even after Shiv came over to your part of the private plan 'just to say hi.' She lingered for just a moment before leaving, her hair brushing your arm enough to send a shiver down your spine.

Gerri gave you a side eye but didn't say anything. You appreciated that she was discreet by nature if only because you didn't want to explain to your boss why you as a grown woman were blushing from a few exchanged words.

Once you got there everyone split off to get changed and settled in before dinner. After wandering around the villa a little you finally found your room and swung the door open.

It was ridiculously nice and you were once again reminded of the truly stupid amount of wealth around you. It was one thing to see the Roys with all of the cars and boats and thousand dollars clothes but it was an entirely different thing to see the spoils they could afford to throw to you without another thought.

You knew you didn't fit in here. You figured that if you just stayed in the background and did your job quietly maybe you would be allowed in on this fantasy a little longer.

After admiring the room a little longer you began to put your things away, laying some of your clothes out on the bed to try to decide what to wear to dinner. You reminded yourself that it wasn't a big deal. It's not like you were trying to impress anyone. Especially not Shiv. That would be ridiculous.

You picked up a dress and held it in front of yourself in the mirror, tilting your head to the side as you consider it. Suddenly they're a knock at the door, which you assume is just Gerri. Working under her was a 24/7 gig and you suspected it was her coming to ask you to complete something.

"Come in!" You should, turning to the door just in time to see it open and reveal red hair and a tight dress. Definitely not Gerri.

"Shiv." You say, eyes wide as she smiles at you.

"Hey." She responds, entering and shutting the door behind her. "Thought I'd come see how you were settling in."

She said it as if she's ever done something like that before, before she had the chance to respond she spotted the dress now half folded in your arms. "Thinking about wearing that to dinner?"

You nodded, straightening it out so she could get a better look at it. You decided to try to play it cool and act like her being in here doesn't make your whole body feel electric.

"Yeah, do you think it'll be okay?"

She eyed it carefully before returning her eyes to your face.

"Try it on." She says, moving to sit casually on the edge of your bed.

You swallow but nod, turning to go change in the bathroom. As you turn to leave you hear a small laugh come from Shiv and turn to see her looking at you with an almost mocking affection. Like maybe you're a little stupid but she's being nice about it.

Oh.

"Here?" You ask and she smiles a little.

"Oh, yeah."

She nod and begin to do as you were told, stripping your sweater off before beginning to unbutton your pants.

You feel your heart starting to pick up as your face begins to burn with shyness. It's not like it's the first time she's seen you naked, but you can't help but feel shy here in the bright room.

You finish stripping your pants and shirt off, leaving you only in your underwear. You don't quite make eye contact with Shiv as you pull the dress on. As you struggle to get the zipper up you hear a low, "Let me."

Shiv stands and approaches you, spinning you around gently by your hips so your back is to her. She sweeps your hair over your shoulder, leaning in close enough that you can feel her breath on your neck.

You can't help but shiver as she finishes securing the dress and places a feather light kiss on the back of your neck.

She turns you around again, hands moving down to your hips again as she studies your form. Shiv's gaze is intense and you can tell that she's analyzing you carefully.

She finally hums and looks up, voice form as she speaks.

"It looks good. Looks.. accessible." She says, reaching her hand around immediately to grab your ass. You gasp as she rests her hand there while her other one moves up to rest against your rib cage. Her fingers just barely tease at the edge of your boob over the dress.

"See? Now, we wouldn't want that, would we? Wouldn't want everyone finding out that you're a slut."

She pulls you in closer and you feel yourself tremor with anticipation.

"How do you think they'd feel if they knew just what we got up to? Would they still let you sit at the table if they knew how you begged to touch my pussy in a public bathroom?" She laughs a little condescendingly as she moves her hand up from your ribs to hold your chin. "Or should I tell them how you let me fuck you over my couch until you had mascara running down that pretty face of yours?"

You knew what game she was playing and you knew that it was working on you no matter how badly you may want to hide it. Your stomach got all fluttery at the reminder of your last time together.

"I think maybe.." you exhale, gathering your courage to tease her back. "I think maybe they'd say you're a liar. Shiv Roy, sleeping with Gerri's little helper? Please."

You're daring her. You're not sure what exactly you're hoping she does but you're sure you've gotten what you wanted once she grins at you like she might just eat you alive.

"You're right." She says, hand slipping quickly under the hem of your dress and up, up, up until she reaches your underwear. She brushes a light hand over them and you feel your whole body shudder involuntarily.

"Guess we should make sure the whole ship knows." She says before slipping her fingers into your underwear and quickly pressing two fingers into your cunt.

You whimper immediately, hands gripping her shoulders as she starts to build up a pace.

"You're wet already." She says, sounding half amazed. "Bet you were thinking of me before I even got here."

Her hand slips under the top of your dress to play with your nipple as her thumb starts to brush over your clit.

"Shit, Shiv- please." You beg, moving your hips to try to create more friction. You know you're essentially humping her hand but can't find it in you stop because it just feels too good.

Once she presses her lips to yours the thought of even trying to maintain any kind of dignity just slips from your mind.

"Does that feel good?" She asks as you pull away for air, thighs quivering as you nod.

"Good." She says, and suddenly pulls her hand out from under your dress. For a moment you can't even process what happened just that you feel impossibly achey and you whine as you look up at her in confusion.

"Why-" you begin and she cuts you off with her answer.

"Lay down on the bed on your back." She asks and you oblige. You hurry towards the bed on shaking legs, unable to hide your desperation. Once you're on the bed you spread your legs for her unabashedly.

In this moment it doesn't matter that she could buy your whole life without making a dent in her wallet. It doesn't matter that she's practically your boss. Shit, it doesn't even matter that she's married.

What matters is that she's looking at you like that, and that her hands are on you and that she's coaxing you with those sweet words practically daring you to cum.

You pant and squirm, saying her name like a promise or a prayer as her fingers and her tongue work you up to new highs.

You moan, forgetting entirely that you're surrounded by your colleagues until she puts her fingers in your mouth to shut you up.

When you cum you see stars and your head tips back against the mattress in perfect ecstasy. She pulls back and when you finally open your eyes again she's wiping her fingers on your thigh.

"So, think they'll believe you now?"

You can't help but laugh a little, affirming as your body continues to shake in the aftershock.

She smiles and leans forward to draw out one last, long kiss before wiping her mouth and heading to the door.

"Wear that to dinner." She commands before shutting the door behind her.

You do, and you're more than happy you obliged as her hands find their way under it throughout the meal.

[lostonehero]

This is stupid and I just really love Martin ok?

In which I make Martin's mother even worse

Tim sighs. "Why are we even here?"

"Because it's mandatory fun." Sasha snickers.

Jon crossed his arms. "Martin's running later, which isn't a surprise."

"Dude, chill out he literally just moved flats." Tim raised his brow, realizing Jon was saying this because they should all be together.

Jon sighs, his hair tied up in a bun. The heat outside was a lot for summer, and he would rather be inside.

Sasha points to a man with red hair, and his back turned to them. "Tim, where's your bidar?"

Tim followed her, pointing, and he could feel himself grow red in the face. The man was tall and chubby, but the fat was hiding muscle underneath and had intricate tattoos littering his body that poked out from the tank top, and they covered his legs that were shown from his shorts. "What department does he work in?"

Jon swallows that man could crush him, and he just wanted to be carried by him. "I'm not sure he must be a new hire."

Sasha rolls her eyes and approaches the man. "Hey, so my... oh!"

"Oh, Sasha! Sorry, I got turned around in the crowds, and I may have missed the train this morning. I made it, though, and I feel a bit underdressed, but it is quite hot today." Martin looks over and waves. "Oh, hey!"

Jon physically pales he just assumed Martin wasn't.... He wore big clothes and his face was soft. He makes his way over, and he can see the tattoos close up, and he furrows his brows. "I didn't think you would be one for tattoos."

Martin's face falls for a moment. "I didn't get them on purpose, but that isn't important. I'm glad I managed to find you guys. I ran into Elias and his ex husband that wasn't a fun conversation to get away from. Elias did look confused when he saw my tattoos he didn't even say something about being unprofessional. Anyway, I also passed some fun fair food they got from America that looked cool."

Tim nods. "I didn't know you worked out? You could have said something we can go for a run together, maybe even go on a hike."

"I just do some free climbing. It's nothing special, but hiking sounds fun." Martin smiles as Sasha grabs his arm.

"Ooo, show me the booths and spill the tea on what the big boss man was arguing about." Sasha chuckles.

"Oh, alright, yeah, so it turns out Elias's ex-husband is Peter Lukas. You know the Lukas family...."

.....

Martin sighs as he returns to his flat. He's incredibly embarrassed. Everyone saw the carvings, well they called them tattoos. He knew they weren't tattoos. His mother wasn't a kind person and used him as an experiment of sorts. 3 fears all across his flesh, he was an avatar of all of them. Jon was becoming the archivist, and Jonah was keeping him unaware till he couldn't. He knew it wouldn't work out well.

He served the Web the End and the Vast. Not really serving, they treat him like they are coparenting him, not their true nature but due to his mother they were infected by humanity and all three worry for him and don't want him hurt. He likes to think they don't want to lose their capacity to learn and understand. He actually doesn't know the reason, but he really doesn't think it's because of himself. He sighs and takes out his phone.

....

Martin: Anyone still awake?

Oliver: Late shift?

Martin: Not really.

Annabelle: Martin, don't be upset your marks are beautiful. Mother loves you dearly.

Mike: Stop.

Martin: Thanks, Mike, and I mean I know they're a part of me and everything, but also my coworkers saw.

Oliver: Did they push? I know you're working with the new archivist.

Martin: No? Tim asked me to go hiking with him, and that's not an invitation Mike to fuck with him.

Mike: :)

Martin: Mike, I'm serious, or I'll make you share bodies with Gerry again.

Mike: :(

Oliver: To be fair, Gerry does like being out of the book like that. He won't accept my offers, I don't think he likes me.

Mike: That is not the issue.

Martin: I can house Gerry for a bit.

Annabelle: Please do he promised to come to our knitting club

Martin: Are we still good for Saturday?

Annabelle: 👍

Mike: Yeah, promised Simon I make him a hat. Don't know why he asked for eyes on it.

Oliver: Oh yes, I'm working on my crochet plush, and I've made Oliva a little sweater.

Martin: Oh! (He sends a photo of a cat sized spider in a little nest she's wearing a crochet hat, and a little crochet eye is hugged by one leg.)

Annabelle: Such a big baby. I love her.

Oliver: I'm so happy she likes the little eye.

Martin: I think she thinks it's her baby she's got a mind like a cat.

Mike: she won't let me pet her :(

Martin: You tried to toss her in the air

Mike: I was just playing.

Martin: You're lucky she didn't bite you.

Mike: I love her, though she has to know that.

Annabelle: You can tell her on Saturday.

Mike: fuck you I will.

Annabelle: (a photo of Mike curled around a broken spider web, obviously drunk, and Olivia blurred skittering away)

Oliver: :)

Martin: :)

Mike: fuck all of you I'm going to bed.

....

Martin smiles as he shuts his phone off. At least he could trust them with his secrets. They were his family more, so then his actual family was. He shudders, and he knows some his carvings are glowing as he hears a soft oof.

"Sup, Martin." A skinny goth floats above him.

"Hey, Gerry, feeling better?" Martin smiles.

"Anytime out of that book is great. Oh, right, congrats on the new job. I hope you're being unhelpful as shit." Gerry smiles, showing off his tongue piercing.

"I'm trying not to be awful, just clumsy. Besides, Gertrude is dead, and the new archivist is kind of cute. He was also a part of that band we looked up." Martin hums sitting up.

"Dude, no way the Mechanism?" Gerry floats eagerly around Martin.

"Oh yeah, but he completely shuts any of that down. He totally thinks he has to be professional like all the time. He wasn't expecting the promotion, so he's over compensating." Martin hums. "Tim and Sasha are great too, but they treat me with kid gloves in a sense since Jon yells at me. I honestly don't mind it, but I just wish I could tell the truth, but nothing freaky has happened yet, and so they will just think I'm crazy and Jon is playing super skeptic."

"Ooo sounds like an office comedy in the Magnas insistute. I bet Jonah is having a field day." Gerry smiles. "I wanted to ask if I could stick around longer this time. I want to help you out, and I have experience dealing with Jonah."

"Gerry, you don't have to do anything for me. I'm happy to keep you around as long as you like. I know the book is painful, and I don't mind sharing my body." Martin hums. "Just don't borrow it while I'm working, please."

"Oh, absolutely not. I don't want Jonah knowing I'm hitching a ride." Gerry hums. "Anyway, what I want to do is sleep. Oh, how I miss being able to turn my brain off."

"Yeah, yeah, your flimsy excuses for me to practice a normal sleep schedule are getting worse." Martin hums, stripping off his clothes to put on pajamas.

"I thought that was pretty good." Gerry chuckles, tossing back his black hair. "You know I'm so happy I dyed it before I died, and my tattoos perfect also the piercings."

"I'm not getting any piercings." Martin rolls his eyes.

"Damn, I'm 0 for 2 now. Eh, at least you're taller than I was." Gerry chuckles. "Alright, time to sleep, and I'm going to make breakfast, I'm dying for an egg sandwich."

"America ruined you." Martin snickers crawling into bed.

Gerry gasps. "Take that back."

Martin chuckles. "Good night, Gerry."

"Goodnight, Martin." Gerry smiles. "Happy to be back."

.....

"Why are we sneaking into a random basement?" Gerry floats next to Martin.

"Because it's a progression, Jon asked me to look into the statement so I am. I highly doubt I will find a ghost spider, but it shows initiative." Martin sighs as he drops down from the basement window. "I'm also channeling my inner you."

"I'm touched, Martin. Now let's get a matchbook and burn the place down." Gerry chuckles at Martin's eye roll.

Martin turns his flashlight on his phone on. "Besides, we have to find evidence so I can eventually come clean. I don't want to lie to them forever, and I don't want them to end up like Gertrude's assistants."

"Understandable, and honestly, I don't blame you. This stuff is tricky, and I know your three patrons sure as he'll don't want what the Beholder does. I just hope things don't go sideways...." Gerry stops and looks at Martin. "Are you even listening? What has your attention... over..... fuck me."

Martin's light is shining at a woman in a red dress her skin is open pours full of worms. A hacking sound is heard from her. He steps back, and he knows he stepped on the silver worms because the woman cracked her neck to stare at him. "Hey, I'm sorry about that."

"Do you hear their lovely song?" The woman steps forward as worms spill from her lips and her body directly at Martin.

Martin steps back and looks to the window and focuses on the sky, and suddenly, he's in the air flying. "Fuck!"

Gerry takes a breath for his dead lungs. "I would of said warn me before you fly up but fuck I rather this then the worms. I don't even have my body, and I can feel it in my very core. Fuck the corruption."

Martin groans as he flies through the air. "Should I even go home? I don't want Olivia to eat those things if she follows me."

"Fuck no, and I can't believe I'm saying this but go to the archive, make up a story please." Gerry shudders. "I fucking hate the corruption."

......

Tim intercepts Martin. "Dude, you look like you fell from a building. Are you ok?"

Martin gasps. "Tim, I saw Jane Prentiss. I was investigating the ghost spider, and she was there, and she was like a living hive. I need to find Jon, I I have to make a statement."

Tim grabs his arm. "Martin, breathe, please. If you're ok with that, come on." He leads Martin's to Jon's office.

Martin hopes he isn't laying it in too thick, but again, he is panicked from the worms. "J-jon I have to make a statement."

Jon looks up a frown on his lips. "What happened to your investigation?"

Tim huffs. "Dude seriously?"

"Tim, it's fine." Martin sighs. "I went to investigate, and uh, Jane Prentiss was there. Yeah, uh, she was like a living hive." Oh, he just realized the patrons are going to be pissed when this gets back to them.

Jon nods. "Ok, I believe you are you ready to make a statement?"

Martin nods.

.......

The tape clicks off, and Martin sighs. He's so grateful Jon doesn't have the compulsions yet. He would have had to explain everything with his mother and the other avatars.

"Statement ends...." Jon takes a breath and slams a book down on a lingering worm. "Martin, I uh I'm sorry."

"It's ok, I mean, it's not, but you didn't try to fill me with worms." Martin frowns. "I don't want to go home. I'm worried that if I do, she'll find me."

"I have a cot here." Jon gave a rare smile.

Martin smiled back.

......

Jon nearly crashed into Tim. It was late, and it's only been a week since Martin started to live in the archives. He could hear him talk, and he knew Tim heard him too. "I uh you're never here this late."

Tim sighs. "I was dropping off clothes for Martin he wasn't wrong his flat is surrounded by those worms. It's also cobered in cobwebs." He pauses, staring at Jon. "I won't say anything if you don't."

Jon frowned but nodded both men, leaning by the door opened by a crack listening to Martin talk.

"I don't know. I just panicked!" Martin was pacing, but they couldn't see that.

"Panic is such a strong word when dealing with the corruption. I say you acted accordingly." A male phone emitted from the phone neither Tim nor Jon recognized.

"I mean, it does suck we have to reschedule our sewing day until further notice. Actually, the craft club sounds better or avatar tea time." A soft, nervous, sounding male voice answers. "I uh actually it would be good timing they changed my schedule at the hospital and have me working more doubles because suspicious deaths. I can't exactly tell them about fears because I'll be sanctioned."

"Why do you still have a normal job, Oliver? Mother would gladly accept you." A female voice interrupts.

The nervous voice Oliver sighs. "Because I have a doctorate, and I'm not going to waste it because I'm an avatar of the End."

"Fuck off Annabelle." That was Martin's voice but something was off. "I swear you're the definition of insanity."

"Gerry!" Three voices overlap.

"Man, I don't even care if Jonah sees me. Fuck the corruption, also fuck Gertrude while I'm at it." Not Martin chuckles. "Anyway, I'm the one to convince Martin to hide away here so Olivia doesn't eat the worms."

"Oh, that's good. I wouldn't want the baby to get an upset tummy." The unidentified male voice responded fondly. "I will get her to love me."

"She won't." Annabelle chuckles.

"Right, well now, the words out the corruption well attacked, so what have the patrons said?" Not Martin gave a heavy sigh. "Martin won't tell them even though he knows they could feel it when one worm got to him."

"Mother isn't pleased.... you really shouldn't go into the tunnels." Annabelle hums softly.

"Simon isn't worried because you know Jonah and everything, but the Vast gave me a heads up to drop in. I fucking swear if The Vast makes me join the fucking archives I'm going to be pissed I fucking hate being underground." The male voice groans. "Shit I'm giving them ideas. I dunno fuck it I'll visit tomorrow. I'm sure the new archivist would love a statement.... wait is he even that far yet?"

"No." Oliver speaks up. "He's still quite human."

"Huh." The male voice pauses. "He's also still in the dark so..."

"Don't you fucking dare." That was the real Martin.

"But it could be fun." The male voice chuckles.

"Mike, I swear, I will send Gerry to you right now." Martin huffs.

"Oh fuck yeah I'm the threat." Not Martin finishes right after. "We're totally going to paint our nails."

"Almost worth it." Mike huffs. "If it happens, I'll take Gerry."

"I don't understand why you hate it so much, Gerry seems quite nice to spend time with." Oliver seems to have returned to his phone. "Sorry, but would you rather I come by? The End isn't pleased and doesn't mind rushing things with Jane... if you get what I mean."

"Of course we do Oliver, but man fuck I never thought I would ever see the End get upset." Mike whistles. "Anyway, I'll show up tomorrow , and uh, I'll return your scarf. I finally made a new tackier one. I put clouds and stars on it, a pretty fun project."

"Guess I'll have to try harder next time." Martin chuckles. "Annabelle, if you come by, you'll give Jonah a heart attack, which please don't, it's bad enough that we have Peter in our group I don't want him to force himself in." Martin sighs.

"We can watch them divorce live." Not Martin snickers. "Serious though, does anyone know if Peter is ok?"

"He's fine he doesn't know how to accept group calls." Annabelle hums. "He's gotten better at texting, but it's still awful."

"For a man stuck in his 20s, he sure does act his actual age." Oliver hums. "Do you think if I'll ask hell, bring some fish from his boat?"

"If you're willing to listen to him talk about his ship." Mike adds dryly.

"Oh, of course, we love chatting about the sea together." Olivier hums.

"That can mean so many things, and I don't want to know any of it." Not Martin mutters.

"I still haven't convinced him to our crafts yet, but he is making them." Annabelle sounds giddy. "He made Mr. Spider a lovely jumper."

"Pics or it didn't happen." Mike interrupts.

"Already sent in the chat." Annabelle chuckles softly. "Are you sure you don't want a job working with Mother?"

"Oh, he hung up." Oliver hums. "Annabelle, you shouldn't tease him. He likes spiders like Martin does."

"They are cute." Martin adds. "But I have to go, it's late and I have to make sure Jon isn't staying late. He needs more rest than he gets. He has the right to enjoy being human while he is."

A noise of agreement, then Martin hangs up his phone. And the abundance of the door opening and two falling men.

Martin gasps. "Fuck."

Tim and Jon look up at him.

Martin sighs and pinches his brow. "You're both supposed to not be here." He sighs again and shuts the door behind them. "I'll explain, but no interruptions."

The two men barely nod as Martin begins his story.

......

"So the not you speaking is a dead guy that we have statements on called Gerald Keay." Jon blinks.

"Fuck that, Elias is Jonah Magnus?" Tim interrupts.

"Uh, yes, to both er kind of." Martin hums not elaborating, scratching his chin. "I'm sorry I've been in this mess for a long time, so I'm used to these things. My mom did carve my skin as a toddler..."

"That's really fucked up." Tim frowns. "So why here? Why are you pretending here?"

Martin sighs and frowns. "Jonah has this idea of the Watchers Crown, which will be a disaster sure the fears will have a feast, but it will come to an end. It's not some renewable apocalypse it's finite, and honestly, the fears fees are better here than there, but the eye watches and never truly learns, which again is stupid. I don't fault Jonah he is going off what his patron desires, but you can't exactly confront an eldrich horror on why its desires are bad for everyone."

"Could I? I mean, you said it yourself the archivist is more than a job." Jon bites his nail in deep thought.

Martin chuckles. "Jon, you're still human barely touched at this point. You can barely get through one statement a week. You can try to force yourself, but you have to let yourself adjust. You don't even have a hunger yet. Mike will be coming by, and his statement can help since he is another Avatar, but again, you're still so early that being touched by any other power can lead you to be an avatar to them. I never have a choice, and well, you kind of don't unless you want to gouge your eyes out."

Jon shudders and Tim looks a bit sick.

"So if you want to discuss things with the Beholder, keep moving towards becoming the archivist, or you can tall to Jonah, but I don't think he'll be much help." Martin frowns. "I'll try to keep you both safe, but it's not going to be an easy task, especially here."

Tim had a conflicted look before settling on determined. "Fuck it I'm in. I don't know about you guys, but I don't want the world to end either, and I think I would like to pick one of the fears that are infected, as Martin said."

"Oh you have a options then, The Web, The End, The Vast, and The Forsaken but that one happened by accident they have basically bonded to Peter in such a complex way that they are intertwined. All have pros and cons. Mike likes to joke that Peter is Forsaken's special little man." Martin smiles.

"Can I talk to the other avatars first?" Tim hums. "But thank you for not hiding."

Jon nods. "I appreciate not being kept in the dark."

"I'm glad I can help. Anyway it is late and I need to get some food." Martin sighs.

"Monster food or actual food." Tim raised his brow.

"Actual food." Martin rolls his eyes. "And I promised Gerry to grab kebas."

"Is it weird sharing a body?" Jon vaguely motions to Martin.

"Not really. Gerry's a cool guy, and I met him when I was 18. He didn't exactly get a choice on being stuck in the book. Sharing a body gets rid of the pain of existing in that book. I'm happy to help him out." Martin smiles. "It was weird in the beginning, but it's not so bad anymore."

"Can I ask Gerry questions?" Jon leans forward.

"After dinner. He's getting a bit impatient." Marrin chuckles. "He knows I'm hungry and can be little like a mother hen for whenever he is possessing." He laughs softly. "He's like a brother to me at this point."

Tim chuckles. "That sounds about right."

......

A man with black windswept hair and a large scarf covering his neck and lower half of his face. He has a pair of aviation goggles on his face. "Hey, I'm here to make a statement to the head archivist."

Rosie blinks and can smell ozone oozing off the man and a feeling of vertigo making place in her mind. "I uh... i"

A man stepped out behind hee coming from the hall. "It's ok, Rosie. I can handle this." The man smiles and motions for the man to follow.

The man sighs. "Fuck.... fine ok." He follows behind the shorter man, by an inch.

The man sits behind his desk and smiles. "Care to explain why you're here?"

The man rolls his eyes and pulls his scarf down to reveal his scar that travels down his face to his neck, then chest and arm. "I'm not here for you, Jonah. You should already know why I'm here."

"Enlighten me." Jonah continues to smile.

"Fine. Martin got attacked by the corruption following a lead, and he asked me to come by to make a statement and introduce myself to everyone, but you already knew that and wanted me to tell you the actual truth because you can see Martin due to the web." He smirks, knocking the nail on the head.

Jonah scowls. "Will you be interfering?"

"Depends on my mood. I can always ask Simon to drop by." The man smiles wider.

"The Beholder hasn't changed, and I will do my best to complete their desire." Jonah sighs, leaning back. "But you aren't here for that. I suppose I should be happy, but I can't say that I am. Don't kill my archivist." He pulls out a vistor badge. "This should get you inside. Please don't kill any of them they are still new."

The man smiles and takes it, and adjusts his scarf. "Pleasure as always, Jonah. It also makes me so happy to know you still haven't figured out what Martin is." He chuckles as he leaves.

Jonah rubs his temples.

......

"I'm excuse me unauthorized people aren't allowed down here." A woman with coffee colored skin and long curly hair and large glass puts on a polite smile.

Mike pulls up his scarf and holds up the visitor pass. "Oh right, sorry. I just got my pass from Mr. Bouchard, I'm here to talk to Blackwood and uh the archivist."

"Oh! My apologies, my name is Sasha it's nice to meet you." Sasha smiles and hums. "Jon's in his office with Tim and Martin like a little boys club."

Mike nods. "I'm Mike, by the way. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, Mike." Sasha smiles and guides him to Jon's office, then knocks on the door.

Jon opens it, revealing Tim crossed his arms and Martin eating a kebab in the corner. "What is it, Sasha?"

"I have a person who is here to see you and Martin." Sasha motions to Mike.

Jon nods. "Oh uh hello come in."

Mike nods and waves to Sasha before the door shuts behind him.

......

Martin gives a warning look. "Mike."

"Martin, you told them?" Mike raised his brow and lowered his scarf.

"I didn't have a choice." Martin sighs. "Why are you here? Are you still going to give a statement?"

"Maybe." Mike sighs, sitting himself down in a chair. "Honestly, I was worried. The corruption is expanding into the buried territory, and that's a nasty fight happening. Thought you got caught into that."

Martin looks between Tim and Jon, then shakes his head. "No, it was a woman named Jane Prentiss, just a lone hive, but I don't exactly come off as an avatar unless I'm using my abilities. She would have followed me home so I just came here. Well, it was Gerry's idea, and I couldn't argue with logic."

Mike sighs. "He's right. This place sucks but it can survive an attack. Anyway, I'm here, and they probably want answers. I don't know how help -" he clutched his head, then scowls. He huffs. "I was joking!"

Tim raised his brow. "What did you do?"

Martin smiles. "Gerry wanted to say hi."

Mike leans back, and his shoulders slack as he kicks his feet up. "Dude, stop shouting. we both know that doesn't do shit. Besides, we both warned you." He rolls his eyes. "Anyway, hello again, it's Gerry, and I'm basically keeping Mike from feeding on either of you. We both know you are not hungry, and if you do it to Jon, you're playing into the Beholders' hands. Yeah, jokes can wait until the Beholder gets common sense."

Martin sighs. "Gerry, you can let Mike back out."

Mike sits up straight and huffs, crossing his arms. "Fucking goth bitch. As I was saying, the in fighting is getting annoying, and The Vast is strictly neutral until well that happened." He motions to Martin. "I'm not exactly good underground, but I'll help out. I'm trying to keep Simon out of the loop, but thankfully, he's busy with his space projects."

"Simon Fairchild?" Jon raised his brow.

Mike nods. "Yeah, he's one of the first Avatar of the Vast, well before they figured out consciousness and whatever and won't exactly let me keep aging like him. Don't really know how it's going to go. I'm still young." He frowns. "However, I am here to help so when the worms do come use, co2 kills them pretty well."

Tim hums. "Could you explain your patron? Martin went over all of them briefly, and if I'm going to have to lose my humanity to keep up with this and stop the end of the world, I would like to know my options better."

"You are not showing him an example." Both Martin and Gerry using Mike's body says at the same time.

"Fuck you guys are no fun." Mike sighs. "Think the sky the vast openness then falling or just too much space no end to it no matter how far yoy go you're still to far from anything. Don't get us mistaken for the Lonely. Even if we are similar, we are quite different." He frowns. "But you have three other options, and you don't seem like the type for the Forsaken. The End might suit you but I don't know enough about you."

Tim furrows his brows. "Alright, I don't know how I feel about following something that sustains off death."

"Oh, Oliver would hate that you said that." Mike snickers. "He would be too polite to say anything, though. Our patrons feed on fear and the emotions surrounding what they are well, the four that have mentioned do the others are strictly fear since yaknow no pretense of a thinking mind. The archivist here might be able to change that for the future of the Beholder, and before you ask, why not Jonah? Because the man is at the mercy of his patron, and is strictly being used as an eye the only reason why the Beholder hasn't tossed him aside is because he's useful and the Forsaken has an invested interest because they adore Peter and they know Peter likes Jonah. Also, I think the Beholder enjoys picking out new bodies for the man, but I'm probably projecting."

Jon frowns. "So I'm the only hope?"

"No." Mike rolls his eyes. "You're a good chance, but not the only option." He sighs. "Whatever, let me give you a statement, and I'll be out of your hair."

Martin gets up and taps Tim's shoulder. "We should give them privacy. Uh, wait, before I go, I can take Gerry back."

Mike shakes his head. "Nah, I'm fine..... please don't tell Oliver." And Martin couldn't tell if it was Mike or Gerry speaking or both.

Martin smiles softly. "You're going to have to tell him." He guides Tim out and sighs.

"So what's up with the Oliver guy?" Tim raised his brow as the door shuts.

"They both have a massive crush on the man, and neither of them are able to confess. Hence why Mike is always adamant to keep Gerry out." Martin snickers. "It's really funny Oliver is completely clueless."

Tim smirks. "Ok, tell me all the freaky tea like now."

Martin nods.

......

Eli: Jonah's busy being pissy about Peter

Martin: Welcome back

Annabelle: Jonah has not figured out your passwords yet?

Eli: Oh, absolutely not, nor has he found any of my hiding spots.

Annabelle: Mother would love to have you.

Eli: That isn't possible. Also, Jonah is terrified of you.

Annabelle: ::::)

Peter: Elias.

Eli: My sailorman! How much longer till we get you back?

Peter: Forsaken is being picky.

Eli: Ah.

Mike: Oh, let me tell him.

Eli: We've tried Mike.

Peter: The Forsaken does not want me to be with you. That is entirely the opposite of my patron. You and Jonah have these debunkabke theories, and I keep..msjeih

Annabelle: Rip

Mike: rip

Martin: Rip

Eli: Proof Peter! Everything you argue, you lose control and phase through objects. Just come home. I already put the marriage papers in our normal spot. Besides, Jonah is insufferable and refuses to admit he misses you.

Peter: A week.

Peter: Elias?

Oliver: Oh, welcome back, Peter.

Mike: Old Jonah took back control.

Peter: Can you let them both in here?

Annabelle: Before Mike answers, I believe the answer is still no.

Mike: This is Gerry, and as much fun as that would be, we've agreed that Jonah can join when the corruption is out of the archives.

Peter: I'll handle that.

Oliver: uh

Annabelle: That wasn't supposed to...

Martin: fuck

Mike: Oh fuck is he there?

Martin: Gerry isn't leaving you for the next three years.

Oliver: I think that's a sign I need to sleep.

Mike: Fuck.

Annabelle: Mother is very confused.

Martin added Tim, Sasha and Jon to the chat.

Martin: Ask them questions

Tim: Spooky Discord

Jon: Tim be polite.

Oliver: No, he isn't wrong.

Sasha: Someone explain why the archives are trapped in a dense fog

Mike: Ah we fucked up.

Oliver: No shit. Peter doesn't get sarcasm or your jokes.

Mike: I knew I was forgetting something.

Sasha: Peter, as in Peter Lukas?!

Mike: Yeah, the one in the same married to Elias.

Annabelle: Currently divorced, nearly married again.

Tim: I'm sorry what

Sasha: Someone preferably not Mike explain. I literally have no idea what's going on.

Mike: Fair

Oliver: Oh, I'll explain. It's good to be distracted when surrounded by the lonely.....

......

Voice call ends

Sasha: Ok, that makes sense.

Tim: Who's Eli?

Jon: Yes, everyone else has been accounted for.

Oliver: So funny story...

Mike: Wait, wait, WAIT.

Mike: Don't tell them - Gerry

Martin: I mean, you're probably right.

Tim: Now we have to know.

Sasha: What is Eli, Elias, or something?

Annabelle: ::::)

Jon: Please tell me you're joking.

Mike: I get why he didn't make Sasha archivist.

Oliver: Honestly, she would probably become Gertrude 2.0

Sasha: Why would that be bad?

Mike: After I died, she trapped me in a book im in constant agonyif im nit sharing a bkdy woth someone. -Gerry

Oliver: She has more blood ok her hands than I do, and I'm an avatar of the End

Martin: She did attempt to kill me, but I was a teenager.

Jon:.... I'm sorry, what?!

Martin: I mean it wouldn't be the first time.

Tim: You get how that's worse, right? Right?

Sasha: Ok, not going to be Gertrude.

Martin: I'm fine, my mom didn't kill me, and neither did she.

Jon: Martin, how many people have tried to kill you?

Oliver: I have a spreadsheet

Martin: Oh, update it Jane needs to go on there.

Oliver: I knew I was forgetting something.

Tim: Why the fuck do you have a spreadsheet?

Oliver: It's better so our patrons don't go on rampages. They tend to be quite protective of their avatars. I guess that makes us possessions.

Mike: fucked up but true

Annabelle: Mother loves us in a way that isn't human.

Martin: To be fair, it's more love than I've ever received from my own family.

Jon: Oh lord.

Eli: Oh boy, new people..... anyway, the old man is pouting because Peter messed up his archives, so I'm back, also because Jurgen Leitner is hiding in the tunnels.

Mike: Fuck me that's where that asshole has been hiding? -Gerry

Mike: I will suffer underground to watch you beat the shit out of him.

Oliver: Bring a camera

Annabelle: I'll let you keep one of my babies if you sent me video.

Mike: kk already on it.

Sasha: Who are you, Eli

Eli: Technically speaking or literally? Because both are loaded answers.

Jon: literally?

Eli: Elias Bouchard, the actual one.

Tim: what?

Sasha: wtf

Jon: bullshit

Eli: To be fair, Jonah has been in control the majority of the time. I'm a passenger in my body during work hours for the most part. Anyway, Martin, can I get a picture of Oliva? I wanna make her out background to piss off Jonah.

Martin : (a picture of a cat sized spider in a green eye jumper seemingly sleeping in a giat web nest)

Eli: Perfect cheers, and I'm out.

Jon: first what the fuck is that Martin, and second what?

Sasha: That looks oddly cute, Martin.

Tim: So Jonah Magnus and Elias Bouchard share a body?

Oliver: Basically, hit the nail on the head.

Oliver: However, just because the Beholder did this for the first time, we still aren't certain that the Beholder is sentient enough to understand that the Watchers Crown is an awful idea.

Annabelle: Normally, the people Jonah possesses are already dead.

Oliver: Fun fact the End doesn't hate this it thinks it's really amusing to watch. The original body of Jonah Magnus lived till 100, which is quite impressive considering the time period.

Martin: To add, Jonah doesn't actually get to choose his new body. The Beholder dies, and it seems the Beholder has a specific type picked out.

Mike: assigned twink at swap.

Mike: fuck I was going to say that - Gerry

Tim: that's hilarious in a fucked up way

Sasha: is Elias ok?

Martin: As far as I know, he's happily married and actually enjoys Jonah's company

Annabelle: it's a polygamous relationship and Jonah is the only reason Elias ever figured out his sexuality.

Jon: huh I don't know what to do with that information.

Tim: that's one way to accomplish that.

Sasha: good for them.

......

[wheredidalltheusersgo]

Gerry 💞💞💞💞

[peniswizard69]

I thought i had followed you already but im stupid as fuck and didnt. I simply must ask you for whatever you have in your head related to your drawtectives tma crossover. We are on a brainwave.

I thought i was alone in here... until i found u my sister

Ok most of what I have is Jancy x Gertrude and when I try to list headcanons for them I wind up just writing a half baked fic so I'll leave that in the trunk until I can full bake the fic

This Magnus institute, London is now the Bagnus Institute, Dondon. I could list a bunch of places in Breat Gritain but I'll leave it at Snengland Snotland and Snales

Phelix being in an animatronic and the stable of imagination were done with Leitners. The Celestial Spear connecting to Gareville was a Spiral ritual. Everything else is just like that, the game that Villainius is from, wild trains, Grandma compelling Sam Ug that one time, that's just what it be like

The Stranger looooooves animatronics. The Hunt is extremely powerful up in the Northern Tribes. The End hates Eugene with a passion

Some statement givers at the Bagnus Institute, Dondon: Edd Edguy, Hugh Janimal, Barry Dalive, Noah Naround, Ican Seayew, Kat Astrophe, Kent C Schitt, Tara Ntula, Ida Noyu, Wanda Eetiew, Jason Mighpray, Phil Thee, Lotta Merderz, and Oliver Twist

The head of the Bagnus Institute isn't Elias. It's Luke Ing.

York is halfway an Avatar of the Hunt but simply too distractable and indestructable to fully succumb. Might be immune to Jared Hopworth. The Highforge family is a cult, kinda like the Lukas family, idk for what entity. Rosé is lowkey serving the Dark but don't worry about it

Jancy is very Eye-influenced; she doesn't like it but she's too tired to hate it. She's an occasional ally to Gertrude, with her detecting skills and such. Maybe Gertrude would have hired Jancy to prove Gerry Keay didn't kill his mom? Idk

Eugene knows a lot of the big names, he's arm's length with the Lukases, Simon Fairchild, Rayner and the Divine Host, Luke Ing. He's also done some buying and selling with Leitner and Salesa

Ogalvy has like 11 Fears trying to court him. You know how it is

Gertrude would hate the Drawtectives for their goofy and fun loving nature. Jonathan Sims trying to go through a conversation with them would be the funniest thing in history

Tim, Basira, Melanie and Georgie would have disliked them a normal amount. Martin and Sasha would have been able to hang out with them. Salesa would have had a great time with them

Gerry would have gotten along great with the drawtectives. He'd talk with Rosé about alt fashion, Grandma would match him in weirdgirl vibes, York would think he looks scrawney and pathetic but then watch Gerry demonstrate strength somehoe and BOOM instant besties

Anyway yeah that's my things for now

[jhnnyjstr]

i am winning the idgaf wars when it comes to the magnus protocol bruh.

i cannot get myself to be even remotely interested in this series. im listening out of obligation (number 1 tma fan), but i end up just waiting around for those 20 minutes to end with zero interest. for there to be a sequel to the magnus archives, a podcast with a fully rounded and complete elaborate storyline, it has to justify itself. to me, tmp doesn’t justify itself.

right now, tmp feels like someone going “oh! oh you liked THIS?? you liked THIS PART of tma??? well look at THIS!!!!! this is THAT!!!!!” and it completely flops at it every time. i won’t say its shit, i’ve liked certain episodes and i enjoy some of the characters, but side by side with tma…? come on

part of the beauty of tma is that every episode felt like you were slowly uncovering a plot with the mc. not only that, but characters were gradually introduced, and supplementals didn’t even have proper full character scenes/dialogues until s3, (a little in s2). then look at tmp. the first episode is random characters ive never heard of talking all at once, and this continues for every episode until the current one. i don’t care about any of these characters, and i feel no attachment or ‘riding along with the mc’ feeling with any of them. it feels like a random group of people sprinkled in amongst a vaguely tma-ish plot.

i also hate the attempt to INSTANTLY get into the ‘ooo big background mystery’ when there absolutely hasn’t even been enough context set for that to even matter to the listener. why do i care that gwen is getting promoted? why would any of this sinister secret plot matter to me when i barely understand the way that this institution functions normally? (which i don’t even know the name of, mind you).

you could easily say “but dan!! this will be SHORTER than tma!! its 3 seasons, not 5!!!” think about what was achieved in 3 seasons of tma. by season 3, jon was in his exploration era. he was meeting mike, jude, the monster hunters, gerry, nikola, sarah, he learned about the nature of the entities, we learnt about rituals, learnt that jon wasn’t fully human anymore, hell we even met peter, and we saw elias’ ass being sent to jail!

the pace of tmp is so fast when its plot already bears so little relevance to the listener, and it doesnt help that some of these episodes are, in complete honesty, poor. i find the writing of characters and the interactions between characters rather poor already as well.

im not trying to be harsh, but this is definitely nagging at me. ive been growing fairly irritated with tmp. feel free to disagree obviously, i can see why people would be fans. but it doesn’t hold a candle to tma. im trying reaaaally hard to give it a chance, but im growing more and more disappointed/underwhelmed by the day . pllbbttfhhh . 👎

[cum-a-calla]

Roman headcanons plsss 👽👽👽 from the most mundane to the freakiest go wild

Roman only enjoys parties and big groups of people because even though he’s intimidated and uses his dark humor as a shield/defense mechanism, the big heavy blanket of noise and chatter and being surrounded by people helps him feel less alone, even though he has no interest in getting to know anyone at all

Roman is a bath man. when he knows he has a lot of time alone where nobody will be interrupting or stopping by, he goes full fucking bath mode. mood lighting, candles lit, maybe even a little wine. lots of bubbles, water hot enough to scald his fucking flesh off. he’ll stay in that bath until his fingers and toes are pruned and he’s practically falling asleep. and it’s not just the bath - he uses expensive, luxurious oils, exfoliates, lotions. i’m talking using those shampoos and conditioners that have placenta in them typa bitch. also, since money and being conscious of the environment isn’t his bag, he’ll drain and refill the water as many times as he needs to keep it boiling hot lol

Roman isn’t a person who masturbates a lot, per se. he has had his calls with Gerri, and some chance encounters of course, but he isn’t a man who boots up whatever hub on the computer and cranks one out. he has 100% masturbated in a public setting multiple times. sometimes that means flexing his cock in his slacks until he cums hands-free in the back of a limo on the way home. sometimes that means humping against furniture in random hotel rooms and watching himself stain the fabric, turned on just by the thought of doing something he shouldn’t be, imagining that somebody is going to find it later and have to clean it up. sometimes he’ll strap a little vibrator around the base of his dick during zoom meetings, rocking very subtly in his chair until he cums - or doesn’t. it doesn’t matter. it’s the thrill alone that’s enough for him.

Roman sometimes uses toys in his ass and will literally moan and whine until he’s crying, it feels so good. naked, dick leaking all over his thighs, toy fully seated inside of him as he rocks on it, dripping sweat and tears and pre-cum until he ropes all over his own belly.

Roman really likes to be hurt, especially slapped. it makes him angry. it makes him feel absolutely fucking alive and electric, and that’s so much better than feeling nothing

Roman actually really likes animals. he’s always a person animals are attracted to. cats like him, dogs like him. birds like him. he’s like a fucking modern day Snow White, but he hates being teased or looking weak so he doesn’t love on animals around other people and maintains that he hates them.

much like the animals he pretends to hate, Roman enjoys being pet. fingers through his hair transports him to a kind of calm he can’t get to on his own. it’s like his baths but a thousand times over. if Roman could lay in a lap and be pet until he falls asleep, he would be able to die happy on the spot.

Roman is artistically talented. he has deft fingers and natural artistic ability, but dropped it as a teenager after feeling like it was too prissy, too gentle and feminine. sometimes when he’s bored he still finds his hands doodling but throws them away. he doesn’t even like art; it’s just in him.

those deft fingers - paired with his mouth - are also talented at pleasure. he’s a fantastic giver of head. dicks, clits, pussies, whatever - he’s focused, knows how to draw it out, how to read the flesh and give it what it needs. but he is so terrified of being vulnerable and rejected or judged that he doesn’t do it much, even though he really enjoys it.

[rocksanddeadflowers]

Doorkeay in your au doorkeay in your au doorkeay

The doorkeay <3 !!!

Gerry is a witch, and a fisherman. See, lots of place have societal norms of seeing magic users as unsettling and taboo, and occasionally towns make it illegal. So while witchcraft comes rather natural to him, and he still secretly does it for work (people still run to magic for aid plenty, even people who swear against it you know) he needs a more... 'respectable' job. One he enjoys/is good at. Wouldn't you know it he lives on the seaside and his father is also a fisherman! Boom! Problem solved! (He really does enjoy his work, even if it's strenuous and dangerous. It's just nice being out at sea any chance he gets.)

One time a storm caught him off guard, and he was knocked overboard. He woke up soaked to the bone on the deck of his porch, boat back in it's port. Writes it off, figures out he's already developing phenomena (it's fine he has the perfect spells to clear that up within a week or two) and focuses on taking time off to recover.

Wouldn't you know it, the next morning all the fish he caught and thought he lost appeared on his deck. Very weird.

The culprit? Ah, turns out to be a giant merfolk. Great to know those exist! Big friendly sharp (like, physically sharp) fellow.

So yeah Gerry is in his pajamas and has sick brain fog, turns around and sees giant mer-Micheal staring at him from the sea (concerningly close to his house) with absolutely glee. Scares the shit out of Gerry, but after trial and error communication, he figures Micheal is friendly.

Michael can't communicate verbally (well, he can in a merfolk sorta fish echo thing, but humans can't understand it nor can it be heard on land anyway) but he does have fairly human hands and an decent auditory understanding of what Gerry says. So over the course of Gerry's two week sick leave he teaches Micheal and himself sign language to better communicate, all the while slowly remembering through dreams and flashes that Micheal was the one to save him from drowning and take him home!

They become close friends pretty quick, Micheal checking in almost daily to see his human friend and give weird little gifts that Gerry cherishes dearly, and keeping up to date with the sign language lessons.

When Gerry is well enough to go fishing again, Micheal nervously stays close. It's a bit concerning, in a way, to have a great creature of the deep nearly surfacing next to your tiny fishing boat constantly. But in a way, it's not much scarier than the whales he's seen, and he trusts Michael now.

At some point, Gerry would actually jump into the water with Micheal, who is insanely shocked Gerry would willingly get in the water with him. Gerry definitely also puts his hands on Micheal's face and it's just very sweet and fluffy.

Also way down the road, I like to picture the whole main cast of the AU (dragon riders, including Jon, and doorkeay) all going to a little fair or something, a celebration at a local town. So everyone can dress up pretty and dance and have fun, but also specifically so Gerry can dig around his old spellbooks for something insanely hard to do.

Micheal loves his home at sea, but he still occasionally laments the idea of exploring the land, especially now that he's befriended Gerry. So obviously the solution is to find a spell that can temporarily shift Micheal into a human form. After loads of hardwork he actually manages to do it too! They all get to go to the dances together and Micheal gets to run around experiencing all the human stuff.

[lizard-lipssss]

Hello all!

Considering many of you found @johndead ‘s Jon care quite helpful ( as I certainly have! ) I decided to compile a quick Gerry 101 care! Now, obviously, every Gerry is different, so this isn’t a one size fits all guide, more just some stepping stones towards proper care!

Environment: Gerrys need a quiet place to nest. Some ideal locations include unused storage cupboards, finished basements, spare bedrooms, etc. While you may find them wanting to snuggle up with you once they’ve warmed up to you, it’s important to give them their own space!

Nesting materials: Shredded papers from files or ( as I’ve found they’ve preferred ) books. Scraps of leather and black fabric will likely also be included if found

Diet: Gerrys seem to be willing to eat pretty much anything you find yourself eating! Some may even try to hop up onto the table to try your dinner! I recommend you fix him a smaller portion of what you’re eating, so he’s included in family activities. As for water, a large, shallow dish that can’t be tipped over is recommended

Enrichment: Gerrys will go on adventures through your house to find trinkets he thinks you’ll like. While this is encouraged, it’s important to remember to acknowledge Gerry first, then turn your attention to the gift. Otherwise, he might think you only want gifts and may grow resentful. Other forms of enrichment include giving him old books and files to burn, allowing him ( supervised ) interactions with makeup and black hair dye, and taking him for trips! Gerrys love to travel! They will also explore crawl spaces and other tight-fitting places like vents

Extra tips:

- Gerrys do not like old rich men with fucked up if true books. They can and will become hostile towards them

- Gerrys, if bored, may start burning books unsupervised. It is very important to keep anything you don’t want being destroyed out of their reach!

- They tend to be extremely standoffish at first. Don’t lose hope! Most Gerrys will eventually warm up once they realize you actually care about them. They make incredibly loyal friends!

- They have naturally occurring eye markings on their joints. These are called false eyes, and they’re used to ward off predators

- They can and will hide all health problems until it’s too late, so it’s vitally important to routinely take them to the vet!

Remember: Gerrys are a big commitment. If you plan on getting one, make sure to do your research! That being said, these guys make lovely friends in the right homes!