#gerkins

[theodoradevlin]

I heard Jürgen is on Santa's naughty list. Do you wanna see why?

WHY IS IT VISUAL

And yet you find me intrigued

[ofmermaidstories]

artistic representation of my saturday night (eating hotdogs and playing fallout shelter like the ipad baby i am)

[forensicated]

Gina and Terry - you heard it here first 😂😉

[archiemcphee]

Pickle Air Freshener

During your commute, do you feel like a pickle in a jar? This Pickle Air Freshener will add some dill to your daily drive as it dangles deliciously from your mirror.

[fableprince]

.

[tearsfordears]

I’m love hoddog 🌭

[ahhvernin]

God forbid patent medicines and soothing syrups. Just let you feverishly suffer and cough until you stop breathing. Thats how you become a man with a raspy voice.

Pickles are a gateway drug. The first gherkin is free.

[gaykarstaagforever]

[theodoradevlin]

Hey there, pretty Lady!

Want to give my candy cane a strong lick? I promise you, it's extra minty. And if that is not your thing, I also still got some sweet chestnuts that are still warm to the touch.

Love, Jürgen

Jürgen! How is your gerkin?

Once again, I will not be licking your candy cane.

Though I would still do it more justice than Leander.

[jasonxlxl]

i am the picture of health.

I'm picking up a shift closing at work and dinner is a root beer, a jar of sweet pickles, and some dark chocolate cover fruit gummys.

[steddieunderdogfics]

At a medium pace by dartlekey

@dartlekey

Rating: Explicit

7,147 words, 1/1 chapters

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Masturbation, Hand Jobs, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Top Eddie Munson, Bottom Steve Harrington, Post S4Eddie Munson Lives, Hurt/Comfort, both metaphorically and literally, Body Worship, hand lotion as lube, safe sex, Cowgirl Position, Coming Untouched, Mean Girl Steve Harrington, bitchy eddie munson, listen its about that sweetspot between being bitchy and soft to each other, Gentle Sex, Laughter During Sex, Edit: i have been informed that edging and edgeplay are two very different things, i apologize for the confusion!! no edgeplay in this fic only edging

Summary:

"Okay, okay, fine. Jeez. You're not stupid, man, I'm stupid. And a baby." "As you said." "As I said," Eddie agrees, and takes a deep breath, "and I'm also a liar, because I didn't pop those stitches falling out of bed, actually." Steve blinks, mercifully leaning back. "No?" "Nope," Eddie presses out. "Actually, I was, uh." He forces himself to exhale, and says, "I was trying to rub one out." Steve stares at him. "What?" "You know," Eddie says nervously. "Crankin' the hog. Whacking off. Jerkin' the gerkin. Stroking the one-eyed snake -" "No I got that," Steve says, and Eddie immediately shuts up, "you're saying that's how you tore your sutures?" "Yes." "By -" "Yep." "Oh my God," Steve says faintly, then starts laughing. (Eddie can't get off. Steve offers to help.)

Thanks for the rec! This recommendation is apart of our Writer's Wednesday! All of the recs today are written by @dartlekey. Want to nominate an author? Fill out this form!

You can submit fic recs to our asks or the submission box!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Made some chilli con carne. See i am totally capable of looking after myself, I made a meal instead of eating cheese cubes and gerkins out of the jar. Nailing it.

[bubblybumblebee1]

I feel insulted simply for the fact that I have these exact markers and I CAN'T DO THIS

Damn you don't ever see art of the Gerkin clan

This is so good

I absolutely adore Starchy’s family so here’s the cute Sissy Gerkin. Gotta love these hillbilly pickle farmers!

[just-antithings]

Just got done doomscrolling a comment section full of "I can't believe people ship toxic ships! X isn't healthy!"

People want drama and scandal, if I wrote about my healthy marriage you'd fall the fuck asleep. Love my husband but our coupling is a total snooze fest, we have sit-down meetings at the end of the month to talk about "us" ffs. No one wants to read about that, it isn't engaging at all. Zero suspense under this roof, just how I like it irl :).

This new tacking-on of "abusive" to the end of their noun version of proship is going to roll my eyes out of their sockets.

Let's not pretend that my grandmother reading bodice ripper novels was a silent cry for help because she truly yearned to find herself in an abusive relationship. Are the youth really so lost as to think that a guy jerking his gerkin to "evil dommy-mommy CBT" porno no. 1394485 wants it to happen irl? I am so tired.

[facefullofsadness]

THIS IS A SICK JOKE AND IT IS NAWT FUNNY 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

LIKE THAT THIRD PIC ARE YEW FOOKIN JERKING MY GERKIN WHAT AHSJHDKFKF