#geralt sandwich
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hannibard · 8 months ago
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Happy international sleep day everyone!!
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medusapelagia · 5 months ago
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One shots
🥨 Raisins and nuts Stommy | rated T | 1,856 words
🎁 Christmas 1985 Harringrove | rated T | 2,273 words
🧜‍♂️ What love feel like Harringrove | rated T | 1,432 words
💋 Girl's night Harringrove genderbend | rated E | 6,444 words
🦈 One breathe away Harringrove | rated E | 11,149 words
✏️ Learning to Love Harringrove | rated M | 7,094 words
🏞️ Perfectly Misaligned Harringrove | rated T | 6,859 words
🦇 Dark Weeping Angel Steddie | rated M | 1,571 words
 💝 I'll chew you up and I'll spit you out ('Cause that's what young love is all about) Stason | rated E | 9,864 words
🔫 Family Dinner Geraskier | rated M | 1,167 words
🧛‍♂️ Black and Gold Steddie | rated M | 10,762 words
🧜‍♂️ The restless sea calls back to you Harringrove | rated E | 15,156 words
🖥️ Lay down this armour Harringrove | rated E | 13,853 words
🎅🏼Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you Steddie | rated E | 12,569 words
💆You're the home my heart searched for so long Steddie | rated E | 15,744 words
🎄Christmas Gift 2023 - a series of one shots written for my friends Steddie - Harringrove - Stommy
🍾 The bachelor party Steddie | rated M | 1,825 words
😭 Sorrow Harringrove | rated M | 838 words
🍀 My lucky charm Steddie | rated E | 2,775 words
🎵 The Eras Tour Steddie | rated T | 407 words
✈️ Handcuffs Steddie | rated T | 1,916 words
🐕 The demon dog Metalsandwich | rated T | 5,720 words
🤬 Brother of my brother Steddie | rated T | 1,837 words
👻 An imaginary friend Steddie | rated M | 2,982 words
❤️‍🩹 I can’t pretend anymore Steddie | rated T | 931 words
🔪 Would you love me more (If I killed someone for you?) Geraskier | rated E | 5,771 words
🕺 For once in my life, let me get what I want Steddie | rated M | 6,335 words
👿 Guilty Steddie | rated E | 10,315 words
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initial-lime · 2 years ago
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I’m bored and I have polls, feel free to include reasons for your choice in a reblog (:
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muffinlance · 29 days ago
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The Witcher but it takes Geralt five novels and two video game adaptations to open his damn takeout bag (he misplaced it in book two)
*cradling bag of take-out to my chest like a newborn princeling being whisked to safety out of the grasp of the Mad Usurper's army* i'll protect you my liege
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thewolvesandtheirbard · 11 days ago
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Just sitting here thinking about how Lambert probably gets sandwiched in between Geralt and Eskel the first few nights they all get back to Kaer Morhen for Winter.
Eskel rocks up to KM first and he and Lambert get to spend a lot of time together. Lambert’s pouting, missing Geralt but not admitting it. Calling him names and stuff instead to mask his worry.
Eskel snuggles up with baby wolf that night and his warm cuddles fix all the problems for the time being…
Then Geralt arrives late in the night, and Lamb awakes to feel himself being squished between his brothers.
He, annoyed, asks Geralt where he’s been, and the white wolf just replies with lots of kisses ❤️
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0dde11eth · 2 years ago
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Geralt: want a bite of my sandwich?
Jaskier: no thank you
Geralt: *freezes*
Jaskier: wait, were you talking to roach or to me?
Geralt: umm... you?
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dapandapod · 10 months ago
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Concept:
Geralt works in an aquarium, near the biggest fish tank.
Jaskier is a newly hired mermaid performer
Geralt was not told about this
In my dreams, it's still Mermay 2023. Husshhh time is fake. ANYWAY here it is! Thank you @magdelanesingerin helping me beta read <3 and thank you Ella-la for the prompt! It was a lot of fun! Please enjoy <3 On Ao3 here
Technically, Geralt does not work with humans. As in, he’s not there to provide care to humans.
Most of his coworkers are human, yes, but that is not the point. He did not start working here to serve people stale sandwiches and sparkling water.
Geralt knows every inch of the aquarium, knows every work position available.
He knows how to do everything, despite actually being there for the more excotic species of aquatic animals, usually with many teeth. Pros and Cons of working with the family, he supposes.
The years he has spent out in the field and all the late nights he worked with his doctor's thesis, all the scars from times he spent crawling through knee deep water that stank of sulfur and decay, only to find his arm swallowed to the elbow by something very small with big hubris-- all of that is put to perfect use as he wraps yet another dry, overpriced sandwich, or scoops yet another ice cream.
The reason he actually stays, despite the screaming children and the sweating parents and the bored teenagers and the entitled grandparents and the weird work tasks he gets assigned, is the way a young girl's face lights up when Geralt holds up a frog, big enough for him to have to use both hands.
Or the way the sullen teen beams when one of their rare giant butterflies lands on their hands. Or when he can hold an audience captive while showing them something new and exciting and incredibly nerdy about his sharks.
Geralt loves his sharks.
Due to every summer reason ever, Geralt has sadly been called away from his animal related daytime tasks to cover shifts where their usual summer employees are out sick. Which seems to be most of this month.
Where he stands right now, in the very small and very understaffed little kiosk, he has an excellent view of the shark tank, at least. As the aquarium has grown in popularity, so has their shark tank, his pride and joy.
Coën had explained to him excitedly that their new tank would have a much bigger viewing area, and seating area, almost like a little theater. To allow for future opportunities, he had said, and Geralt thought of the way he would be allowed to show off his beauties through the window and almost got excited himself.
It is unusually crowded today, and a lot of people are gathering around the viewing area and are chattering.
It's so loud, their voices bouncing around the room and amplifying, and it's hard to hear the woman in front of him inexplicably order their largest latte and a lactose free cheese sandwich.
Luckily, Milva is coming in soon to cover the rest of the shift, so Geralt can finally get back behind the tanks, out of sight of all the people.
But before he can, the clock strikes one, music blares through the speakers the speakers, and one of the employees he knows from birthday parties steps out with a microphone. It makes Geralt frown, because this is new.
Usually, the show around the big tank would involve a kid friendly lesson about the fish and aquatic animals in their tank, sometimes accompanied by a sweaty Lambert in a mascot suit.
This time, however, there is dreamy music, the lights are lowered even more, and the employee is talking about the magical beings living in the deep, out of sight of human eyes.
See, Geralt is a man of science.
He knows there are mythical and magical things in the depths, having been up close and personal with a few. But this sounds like they are setting up for some kind of misinformed children’s movie.
Which is why Geralt's jaw is somewhere around floor level, when an actual mermaid- wait no, merman, swims up to the glass, waving at the children.
Milva has to elbow him out of the way so she can serve the next customer, while Geralt stares at the Merman flitting around in his beloved shark tank.
The sharks stay clear, because even if the merman's tail is beautiful, it is still striped much like a dragon fish, warning all of them not only with his size, but also with his pattern and coloring, that he is dangerous.
Yet his smile is wide, his claws retracted to tap a smooth fingertip at the glass and wave at the crowd with a webbed hand.
His hair is chestnut brown, matching the pattern riding up along his back, with specks of gold dancing on his skin and in his blue, very blue eyes.
Geralt somehow finds himself by the rail to the seating area, and the merman's eyes lock with his.
As they do, they widen a fraction, and the smile turns into a smirk. The merman winks, and turns, swimming in a pirouetting circle as the employee narrates his movements.
As he swims, the light dances over muscle and bone and scale, the crowd around him making ‘Oooh’ and ‘Aaah’ noises. He is beautiful.
The merman keeps showing off, his many long fins twirling around him like ribbons in the calm water. It is mesmerizing, and as the show is coming to a close, Geralt hurries to the back area and towards the tank.
He gets intercepted by Lambert, of course, who steps in front of him with a shit eating grin spread wide across his smug face.
"Like the new show, did you, pretty boy?" Lambert says, sly eyes watching him.
"I didn't realize we had a new show." Geralt grumbles. "I need to-"
"-Go and ask our new pretty fish boy intrusive questions, yes I know. Just remember he is not a science project."
With a pat on Geralt's shoulder, Lambert walks past him and intothe guest area.
"Oh, and ask him for his number. Literally everybody in the room saw that wink," he throws over his shoulder as he goes.
Geralt feels his ears burn as he moves forward again, because yeah, that wink felt very... yeah. Words fail him, which is a bit unfortunate, seeing as he is just arriving at the stairs to the tank.
Climbing them, he tries to remember what he planned to do in the first place, other than, as Lambert called it, 'ask intrusive questions'.
As he reaches the top of the stairs, the merman is just climbing out of the tank, assisted by Eskel. Once again, Geralt feels his jaw drop, noticing that his tail is now legs.
Long legs. Bare legs, that goes up, up, and lucky for all of them, the rest of the view is quickly hidden by a towel wrapped around a slim waist.
"Figures," he hears Eskel snort, "Jaskier, this is Geralt, our aquatic expert."
They are on separate ends of the room, the tank between them, but the world narrows down to just the two of them.
There is, and always has been, a specific mood to the rooms that houses the the big tanks.
The way the water reflects light, sending it dancing on the walls and ceiling, how it softens shadows, how it can be dark but bright at the same time; Geralt has always did found it a little romantic.
Which isn't something he would ever confess to unless he was swimming in alcohol, or so sleep deprived he didn’tt even know his own name, but it is there, simmering in the back of his mind.
Especially now as he is standing there in the soft, romantic light with a man, who was just a merman, looking back at him as if he has discovered the world anew. He can even pretend that the humming of pumps and gurgling of water filters and dripping of pipes are an orchestra, a symphony to accompany a first meeting.
Alright, that is overdoing it, but still.
Behind Jaskier, Eskel is rolling his eyes so hard his body moves with it.
"Every. Frickin. Time. Jaskier, good job, don't forget to wash off before you get dressed. Let's talk after... after. Later. I do not want to be here right now."
Eskel leaves, patting Jaskier's shoulder, who only nods and waves absently, eyes still fixed at Geralt.
When Eskel is gone, disappearing through another door leading to more, smaller tanks and the food prep area, Geralt finally finds he can move.
It is oddly silent, except for the metallic sound of his shoes hitting the maze of walkways hanging above the tank. He stops, even before he has turned the corner to the final stretch.
"Hi," he manages after a few seconds too long.
The corner of Jaskier's mouth tugs up into a smile, and he reaches for another towel hanging on a hook on the wall.
"Hi," he echoes, his voice just a little raspy. Jaskier wraps the towel around his shoulders, using a corner to dry his hair. "So, you are the Geralt that I have heard so much about."
Geralt blinks. He did not expect people to have mentioned him, but then again, they might actually have warned Jaskier of him.
"Ah. Sorry. I can be uh... less than tactful when something grabs my interest."
Jaskier tilts his head even more and takes a step closer to him.
"So did I? Grab your interest, I mean."
Shit. Fuck. Shit fuck shit.
"I have never met a merman before." Geralt says stiffly, ears burning something fierce, and Jaskier looks amused.
Jaskier steps closer; his feet probably hurt from walking barefoot on the metal grating of the walkway but he doesn't stop until he is close enough to Geralt to stretch out his hand.
"Well then. My name is Jaskier, as you might have gathered. Nice to meet you! Though, I am not full mer, actually."
Interesting.
Geralt shakes his hand, noticing the tips of Jaskier’s fingers are a little rough against the back of his hand.
"Is that why you have... uh..."
"Legs?" Jaskier supplies helpfully. Geralt is still shaking his hand. "In part, yes. Some Mer have a splash of elven blood, granting them the ability to choose."
Geralt should stop shaking his hand. He really should. Their eyes are still locked, and Jaskier is still giving him that amused smile.
"You can stop shaking my hand now," he reminds Geralt, but doesn’t pull his hand back.
"Right. Yes. Right. Sorry." Geralt manages to let go, and is infinitely happy Eskel has left the room, though no doubt Lambert will look at the security footage for later. Shit.
As soon as Geralt manages to break the stare into the man’s eyes, he notices the next problem. Jaskier is pretty much naked, barely covered by the towels, revealing skin, chest hair, and the hint of a tattoo along his ribs and on one thigh.
He wants to ask about that, if it transfers to his fins or not. But as he stares, he also realizes Jaskier is shivering slightly. He's an idiot.
"I uh. Should leave you to get dressed. There is a shower in the changing rooms. Uhm. Can I get you a coffee or something? Later?"
Jaskier smiles that amused smile of his while Geralt is kicking himself internally. Words never were his thing, no, but this is ridiculous.
"As in bring me a coffee, or drink a coffee together with me?"
"Whichever you are comfortable with. Sorry, I am not making a good impression here."
"You are very cute, if that helps." Jaskier says, and Geralt blinks, stunned.
When he fails to reply, Jaskier pulls his towel tighter around himself, and nods.
"Right. So, I'll go shower, and we’ll pretend I never said that. And I'll see you later. For coffee."
Jaskier’s ears are slightly red, and Geralt wants to pretend it’s from their conversation, not from being cold.
Geralt nods, and flees before he can put his foot in his mouth any further, and only after he is half way down the stairs does he realize that he forgot to ask if Eskel showed Jaskier where the changing rooms are.
Too late now, he absolutely won’t go back and risk walking in on a very naked Jaskier. Nope.
When Geralt steps into the public area again, the crowds are slowly thinning out, now that the show is over.
Parents are herding kids towards bathrooms and other viewing areas, and Geralt decides that he needs to find something just a little better than the staff room coffee machine.
It feels a little cheap to go with the aquarium café, and he realizes he doesn't even know how Jaskier likes his coffee. Geralt himself has a sweet tooth, and very few ever believe that at first sight.
He decides to stand and awkwardly waits until Jaskier comes back out.
He manages to work himself up as he waits, overthinking until he’s standing there frowning and glaring at the wall when Jaskier emerges at last.
Quirking an eyebrow, Jaskier hoists his dufflebag a bit higher on his shoulder.
"You good?"
"Hmm. What kind of coffee do you like?" Geralt asks, before he can say something dumb.
"Black as tar, so anything is good." Jaskier smiles. See? You never know what to expect, even with sunshine incarnated.
Geralt nods, and leads the way to the little kiosk where he was working just a few, life-changing minutes before. .
Milva smiles gleefully at Geralt when it's their turn, and hands them a coffee black as tar, and for Geralt, coffee with milk and three sugar cubes.
Instead of sitting down, they put away Jaskier's bag and wander around the aquarium. It turns out he never had the chance to look around before diving in for his first show.
Geralt tries to not ask all the intrusive questions bubbling up in his head, his scientific curiosity temporarily pushed down by the way Jaskier coos at tiny crabs and little fishes in weird shapes and colors.
At last, Jaskier informs him that he can't stay any longer, that he has band practice after his show, and should have gone already.
"But I'll see you again, Geralt," Jaskier promises with a smile. "Next week. Unless you want to grab a bite sometime?"
Jaskier's ears are red again, and Geralt can feel his own face getting warm.
"I'd like that," he mumble, and Jaskier beams. They exchange numbers, just in case Geralt had anything else to ask.
Not one minute after Jaskier leaves, waving over his shoulder, Lambert is on him.
"Getting some tail, are you, pretty boy?" Lambert grins, and Geralt elbows him away.
"If you say anything ever again, I'll show Aiden all your drunk texts," he threatens, which he knows will only work for a few days.
Geralt risks sending a text that same night, and Jaskier replies only a few minutes after.
They have a lunch scheduled in a few days, and Geralt doesn't dare call it a date, not yet, no matter what Eskel says.
When Geralt goes to sleep later that night, he dreams of blue eyes, of chestnut brown and gold specks glimmering in the underwater light.
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raccoon-eyed-rebel · 1 year ago
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Don't knock it till you try it
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Masterlist
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Pairing: Syverson x reader x Walter Marshall (technically college AU. I needed to make the road trip scenario plausible.)
Summary: Your friends Walter and Sy have offered to drive you home for the summer, and you have decided to turn it into a nice relaxed camping trip on the way...
Word count: 9146 (yes, really...)
Warnings: SMUT, NSFW, 18+, MINORS DNI, fingering (vaginal, anal - f receiving), oral sex (f and m receiving), penetrative sex (vaginal, anal, DP - f receiving), masturbation (f), smug and dirty talking Sy, sex in a tent, hint of a size kink (blink and you miss it), silly bets, and an astonishingly solid bromance. I think that's all, but call me if I missed any.
A/N: I've finally really stopped hurting the boys and now we're just going for some nice relaxed sex in a goddamn tent, dammit! Also yeah I'm going to keep imagining the boys in college until the day I die, I don't know why (maybe because I'm young), but just... idk, read it as a memory or something? idk :')
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@geralts-yenn @deandoesthingstome @ellethespaceunicorn @peaches1958 @sillyrabbit81 @peyton-warren @summersong69 @mayloma @livisss
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You were not – by a long shot – the first girl to see the backseat of the beat-up chevy pickup you were sitting in. Fact. A fact so factual, in fact, that Sy hadn’t complained when you demanded he put a blanket down for you to sit on, which told you more than you really wanted to know.
Now, your eyes kept drifting shut to the sound of tires on asphalt and the bickering of soothing baritone voices in the front seat. The outside world consisted of mountain views and clear blue skies, and the fresh breeze of early summer that worked just hard enough to raise goosebumps on skin, but inside this rusty old vehicle the atmosphere was dominated by two pairs of broad shoulders, deep voices, and what you always mockingly referred to as ‘disgusting man sweat’ – always hoping neither of them would ever find out how often you dreamt of licking those salty droplets off their abs after a workout.
Both of them had shown up, first semester, in a class they didn’t have a prayer of passing, and you’d been teamed up with them because of what you then thought to be a hideous trick of fate. Somehow, you whipping them into shape for that tutorial hadn’t put them off you, and what started as whatever the educational equivalent of ‘frenemies’ is, turned into study buddies and eventually friends. The only downside to your friendship was that you chronically had to explain to your entire dorm that, no, you weren’t sleeping with either of them – let alone both of them.
As you still toed the line between asleep and awake, a heavy hand on your knee – belonging to Walter – made a decision for you in favor of consciousness.
“We’re hungry,” he said.
“You’re always hungry,” you grumbled as you reached for the bag of food and snacks on the other side of the backseat. It was a good thing they didn’t bother to deny it, because you would have strangled them both. God forbid you ever left a bag of Doritos out in your dorm. Seconds! Gone!
Sy had the stones to ask for a tuna sandwich. Absolutely the fuck not!
“I’m not opening that bag in this car, Sy.” It already smelled like stale beer and weed in there. Not in a bad way, but in a ‘you’re not allowed to smoke on campus, so this is our only option’ way. That said, adding tuna to the mix would be a complete disaster.
“Suit yourself,” he snapped. You rolled your eyes. For the love of God, it was all of ten minutes past feeding time! Walter snickered as he held out a hand. Turkey on wheat for Walter, BLT for Sy, mozzarella pesto for you. You’d splurged on groceries, because the boys had offered to take the lion’s share of the drive.
“We were thinkin’ of callin’ it a day soon, sugar.” They’d had morning classes, and you were falling asleep while on snack-duty… Plus, you’d agreed to just take it easy the whole drive. It was summer; there was no need to rush home.
Sy pulled off the highway, quickly ending the smooth, rhythmic hum of the tires on the road, until the asphalt finally made way for the crackling of gravel. Without Sy, you never would have found the campsite at which you pulled over. Camping ran through that guy’s veins, as you could tell from the impressive amount of camping gear in the bed of the pickup – all his.
Even though he helped you get out of the truck, you still lost your footing and stumbled into him, leaving Walter grinning to the side of the spectacle, commenting on your horrible clumsiness.
“Dunno,” Sy replied with a sly smile. “Guess she’s just fallin’ for me.” The cheesy joke made Walter stop dead in his tracks.
“I think that’s twenty-five,” he deadpanned, looking at you. In a less-than-sober state, somewhere in the past year, you had made a deal: if either of them managed to make that joke twenty-five times before the end of the year, you’d��� Alright, let the records show that when you made that bet, you had been entirely convinced they’d never take you up on the offer to let them kiss you. But they had.
“You’re not gonna hold me to what I said back then, are you?” you asked in a small voice, your cheeks so hot you could probably fry an egg on them. The door of the truck slammed shut behind you, and Sy slowly stepped forward, forcing you to step back, until you were backed up against the truck, with him leaning over you – completely caged in between his solid body and the car.
“Deal’s a deal, sugar.” There was no trace of his usual grin, no hint of the mischievous glint in his eyes that normally told you he was kidding. He just came closer and closer as your eyes went wide – Walter did nothing. Jackass.
Not that kissing Sy was something you didn’t want. Oh no! In fact, it was something a fairly large part of you wanted so badly you thought you might burst. On some days, being close to either of them – let alone both – was torture, where your heart raced every time they came near you, and you unconsciously held your breath when they touched you… And while the guys just freely admitted to having sex dreams about you, you kept the little nugget of truth that you had similar dreams about them, tightly under wraps. Not because you thought they’d tease you about it, or anything, just… No, wait, actually that’s exactly why you didn’t tell them.
A few more seconds passed in which your heart tried its best to jump out of your chest.
“This isn’t funny, Sy,” you snapped on a sharp exhale when his mouth curled at the corners into that signature smirk you loved to hate. Finally able to gather your thoughts as well as your strength, you put your hands on his chest and pushed. It was a good thing he let you go, because if he had decided to stay put, you wouldn’t have stood a chance in hell.
“I want my kiss, sugar,” he called after you as you paced away to… alright, you didn’t actually know where you were going, but away, at least. “One way or another.”
As pissed – or confused – as you were, this was ‘the outdoors’ and therefore absolutely not the type of environment you were well equipped for in any kind of way, thus you decided it was best to stay close – within earshot, at least – to the boys. But they could take care of unpacking and pitching tents and whatever the fuck else needed doing.
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“Hey.” Sy sat down next to you on the rock you had claimed, and put an arm around you. This was oddly comfortable, especially compared to the tense situation by the car, earlier. “I was messin’ with ya back there, you know that, right?” Whether it was to make a point, or simply because Walter wasn’t watching – or maybe because the threatening wall of man from before was now your familiar gentle giant again, you had no idea, but you impulsively reached for Sy and kissed him on the cheek. A low chuckle escaped him, and he pulled you closer.
“There’s a trail up to a waterfall we maybe wanted to check out, you in? Easy hike.” The good thing about hanging out with the guys was that they really considered your level of… adventurous ineptitude. If they suggested this hike, it meant they were at least medium convinced you could actually make it there and back in one piece – or that they could make it at least halfway with you on their backs.
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The hike led up to a beautiful, clear river, and a spectacular waterfall. Between the smell of the woods, the sun comfortably warm on your skin, and the phenomenal view, this hike had been more than worth it – never mind that you were all sticky and sweaty from trying to keep up with the guys and their superhuman pace.
“On the way back, can we please remember that I have little legs?” you complained as you sank down onto the rock at the river bank the boys had selected to eat yet another sandwich on. Sy hummed, finally contently munching on the tuna sandwich you’d denied him in the car, and Walter laughed. You sat in silence while your friends ate their food, which meant the rock inevitably became too boring for your limited attention span.
What started off as a relatively sure-footed expedition over the rocks that stuck out of the water, inevitably ended with your very accurate portrayal of a soaking wet person regretting most – if not all – of their life choices. Sy sighed and rolled his eyes as he swallowed the last bite of his sandwich, taking his sweet time to get up and make his way over to you to fish you out of the water – which he then called ‘refreshing’ instead of ‘freezing fucking cold’. That didn’t improve your mood. Next, Walter had to dive for your phone – which, luckily, could swim, but was still going to be next to useless to you at the bottom of this far-deeper-than-anticipated vein of icy death.
Shivering, covered in goosebumps and with chattering teeth, you stood on the bank of the river.
“Take your shirt off,” Walter commanded, plucking his own off the dry rock.
“What?” you stammered, staring at him in disbelief. Now, that alone would have been just fine, if your eyes hadn’t dropped from his face to his chest. Small droplets of water dripped from his hair and beard onto his shoulders and chest and… somehow trickled down his body in slow motion. If they knew how much willpower it took to lift your eyes to his again, they would never let you live it down. Sy repeated his words from a distance – there went your excuse that Walter had just been talking too softly. Sy was still up to his knees in the river, unbothered by the cold, just hanging out there as if that water didn’t rival the fucking arctic ocean for temperature.
As you looked at him, he started to walk back to the riverside. The sun was starting to set, changing the light in a way that made it look like Sy, much like those fucking drops of water, was moving in slow motion, flecks of sunlight dancing over his skin… These guys were distracting enough when they were dry and dressed, but now that they were wet and half naked, with damp, coarse curls sticking to their chest and abs, catching the water that dripped down from their heads… These boys were fucking with your head. Big time.
“Sugar, take off your shirt, please,” Sy repeated when he stood next to you. “You’re freezin’, let’s get you a dry t-shirt, at least.” Oh. So, they weren’t putting the moves on you. Good to know. Hopefully, your exasperated sigh didn’t give away any of the disappointment you felt. With a little help from Walter, you lifted your soaking top over your head, not caring that they saw you in your bra until it was already too late. Sy used his t-shirt to dry you off a bit, before handing you Walter’s to put on. The whole time, they kept their eyes in decent places, and their hands didn’t wander anywhere they shouldn’t. Now, why did that make you feel sad?
“We should head back,” Walter said – mostly to Sy. The sun disappeared rather quickly, and without the heat from it, that dry t-shirt – save for the two tit-shaped wet spots where your soaked bra touched it – didn’t do much to keep you warm.
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By the time you made it back to the campsite, you were shivering again. The walk had done next to nothing to warm you, and your still wet jean shorts chafed painfully against your thighs. Not to mention your thighs were starting to chafe painfully against your thighs. So, the first thing you did was disappear into the tiny single tent that was meant for you – as you had made it abundantly clear that sharing a tent with the boys was out of the question – and change into something dry, warm, and comfortable. The guys did the same, although – as it turns out – their version of ‘warm’ included no shirts. Did they ever get cold?
It was tough enough to keep your eyes off Sy in cargo shorts – although Walter in jeans was just as much of a sight for sore eyes – but now that it was getting dark, the sweats came out to play. You silently thanked Walter for his choice of black sweatpants, because keeping your thoughts out of the gutter was hard enough already. Sy was shamelessly sporting a pair of grey sweats, filling them out just about as nicely as humanly possible as he sat there, getting a fire started. The sly glances and that godforsaken smirk he flung your way from time to time told you that he was more than aware that you were checking him out.
The heat from the fire alone wasn’t enough to warm you up. Sy’s solution was tequila – which helped, but not quite enough, so Walter wrapped you in a blanket, pulling you close to his side as he ran his hands over your arms in an attempt to stop your shivering. At the same time, Sy inched closer, and before you knew it, four arms were wrapped around you.
Apart from being hot, proverbially, these guys were hot in the literal sense, too, warming you up slightly more effectively than the blanket around your shoulders and moderate amount of alcohol in your system. Still, the icy temperatures from the ground you were sitting on seeped into you without mercy. Of course, the boys took notice, both getting the same idea, and each grabbing one of your legs to try and pull you into their respective laps. Needless to say; it didn’t work, and you just ended up with spread legs, sitting between them on the floor. Sy had that twinkle in his eye, that smirk on his face that was dripping with confidence and indecency… You had to get out of there before he could speak!
As you scrambled to your feet, mumbling something about getting another blanket for yourself to sit on, you tripped and fell into Walter’s lap. Of course! You had been keeping score on that bet as well, and you knew you had come here – fucking camping – with both of the guys stuck on twenty-four counts of the same lame fucking joke… This was your fault, really.
To your surprise, however, Walter said nothing – instead, he smiled politely, pulling you into a more comfortable position in his lap.
“You’ve earned it,” you whispered, although you had absolutely no idea why. Maybe because it was the truth, maybe because you just wanted this bet to be over. Either way, it hurt you that he didn’t make the dumb joke, and asked to collect his reward the way Sy had. Hoping to get up before Walter looked into your eyes – where your thoughts were no doubt displayed for everyone to see – you made a move that was entirely too advanced for your mediocre balance and agility, and you crashed down again, this time falling harder than before. As Walter grunted, panic shot through you…
“Darling, I’d ask you if it hurt when you fell from heaven, but so far the only person who got hurt in that process, is me,” he blurted out in a strangled voice, while Sy was losing it next to you, howling from laughter.
Was it the booze? The fire? The tension from this afternoon? The fact that you were sitting in his lap, with his hands maybe a tad too low on your hips, but high enough to not rouse suspicion? Or maybe just your complete lack of self-control? Whatever it was, it caused you to move to straddle his thighs, and without thinking about it for so much as a second, you kissed him. If you’d had a sliver of hope before that Walter would break the kiss after an at least semi-decent amount of time, it was gone now, because the hand on your hip pulled you tighter against him, and his other hand tangled in your hair.
Walter kissed you. It took far more effort than you had ever expected to really let that sink in, but at the same time there was no way around it. He was kissing you, and it was eager, and rough, accompanied by ragged breaths and the occasional moan. It managed to make you forget everything around you. Everything except for Sy – mainly because he let out a pained grunt just as you were about to stick your tongue down Walter’s throat.
“I got a kiss on the cheek, man,” he groaned as he leaned in slightly on one elbow.
Now, if you had been thinking clearly, you would have laughed it off, gotten up and gone to bed. Safe to say, you were not thinking clearly.
Sy’s mouth felt just as good on yours as Walter’s had, with similarly soft lips, a similarly coarse beard scraping your skin, and a similar roughness to him that only wound you tighter. You moaned, your hips unconsciously grinding into Walter’s, his growing hard-on providing extra friction to soothe the ache between your legs. When you briefly opened your eyes to see if Sy was as involved in this as you were, you saw him palm his own erection through his sweats – casually adjusting its position before focusing on you again. In that moment – timed perfectly with a moan from Walter – something inside of you snapped.
“I’m going to bed,” you stuttered as you broke the kiss with Sy, at the same time scrambling to get to your feet – this time succeeding without falling into anyone, and making it to your own tent without a hitch. ‘
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Now, if it had been a sober conversation, and it hadn’t been in the middle of nowhere without a sound to be heard for miles other than crickets, the occasional owl, and the crackling of the fire, at least half of it would have been inaudible from where you had pitched your tents. But the boys were too drunk, and their voices too deep and dark – the sound just traveled too far. You could have ignored them. You could have turned around, pulled your sleeping bag over your ears, and pretended to be asleep until it became the truth. Instead, you listened, sometimes straining to understand what they were saying.
“So, who do we say got her first?”
“I’m asking for a do-over.”
“Because it was me?”
“We could just… Y’know…”
“Think she’d go for it?”
“What, both of us? My ex did…”
“But she was nuts.”
“Hey! Okay, fair enough.”
Both of them? Both of them? As in… Separately? Or… Oh, what the fuck did it matter! The answer was yes.
What surprised you most about your thoughts was how completely unsurprised you were by them. Somehow, the idea of sleeping with both Sy and Walter felt as natural as could be, and left you not only stumped, but with another problem that needed tending to…
Without thinking, you slid your hand down your body, and into your sweatpants. Kissing the boys had definitely had its effect on you, you had known that as soon as it had happened, but the extent of the mess between your thighs was still quite surprising. Somehow, tasting both of them, followed by your eavesdropping, had made you dripping wet and craving something more than just your fingers. Unfortunately, they’d have to do.
You thought of that first kiss with Walter, then the one with Sy, then wondered what it would feel like to have those beards scratch the skin of your neck, slowly making their way down to your chest. Would they lick? Bite? Moan? You pictured Sy, eagerly making his way further down, while Walter kept his attention on your chest. Would he be as quiet as he always was? Was Sy as loud as you imagined him to be?
There were so many things to wonder about, besides the obvious size question, that the thoughts consumed you completely as you worked yourself up to your peak. So completely, in fact, that you didn’t hear the guys return to the tents – just as you squealed from pleasure while you came. Hard.
“Fuck, sugar,” Sy said from outside. Walter warned him to stop talking, but he didn’t listen. “Tell me if you want any help.”
It was tempting to say ‘yes’. It was tempting to crawl into that tent and tell them you had heard everything they said by the fire. It was tempting to offer yourself up on a silver platter, hoping they’d make good on their promises from before by fucking the life out of you. But things that are tempting can also still be difficult, so you did nothing. Well, nothing… If ‘dying of embarrassment’ counts as ‘something’, you were definitely not doing nothing.
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The sound of your own teeth chattering prevented you from falling asleep, even though you could hardly keep your eyes open. And who knew goosebumps could hurt like this? The boys had warned you beforehand that it would get cold at night, and you’d even told Sy what you had planned on wearing as pajamas, and he’d said you’d be good. Well, you weren’t good. You were covered from head to toe, and you were not – by any definition of the word – ‘good’.
As hard and painful as it was to just lay there and freeze, it was harder to get up, worm your double-socked feet into your sneakers and get out of your tent. Outside, it was pitch black, and the dim light of your phone was barely enough to prevent you from falling flat on your face. You had to credit the boys with their incredible foresight to keep the path from your tent to theirs free of tripping hazards – something you were so delighted in at that moment that you forgot to question whether or not there was some sort of ploy, or whatever in place. Lewd scheme or not, you were glad to make it without a hitch.
“Eh, guys?” you whispered after zipping open the tent and poking your head in.
“Hm? What?” It was Walter – and from Sy’s continued snoring, you deduced that you shouldn’t wait for him to answer; he wasn’t waking up.
“I’m really fucking cold,” you admitted reluctantly. That seemed to wake Walter up a little more…
“Cold? You could go on an expedition to the north pole dressed the way you are!” The sleep-drunk slur of his voice was… adorable, in a way. To his left – no, his right… To his left from where you were standing? The left side of the air-mattress they were on when you looked at it, standing at the foot of the bed, the right side if you were actually lying in… oh for fuck’s sake! Next to him, Sy groaned and turned – although you couldn’t see any of that, because it was very dark.
“The fuck is going on?” he grunted, his voice gravelly and dark – which did a good job of making your knees weak.
“She’s cold,” Walter replied dryly.
“There’s no way,” Sy said in disbelief, “she’s dressed for winter in Alaska.”
“If you two are done mocking me, I’m actually freezing my ass off out here. Do you have an extra blanket or something?” you snapped.
“Sugar, we’re not even wearin’ shirts,” Sy said, his voice steadier now that he was waking up.
“Great, so you put on a shirt, and I’ll take your sleeping bag.” It was a shame they couldn’t see you roll your eyes, but the snippy tone would surely get your point across.
“Or you could just come here, love,” Walter said all of a sudden. There was rustling in the tent and then a dim red light over your heads turned on.
“Interesting choice…” you started, but Walter and Sy chuckled.
“It’s easier on your eyes, sugar.” Shit, Sy was easy on your eyes, god damn. He hadn’t been lying when he’d said he wasn’t wearing a shirt, and the way he casually lounged on that fucking mattress right now, with that arm behind his head, eyes half shut…
Walter was sitting up, holding a hand out to you, waiting patiently until you had zipped open the door further – which took so long that he ended up helping you with it. As you got in, he got out, and for a moment you were scared he would offer to leave you with Sy while he took your tent, but after a while he returned holding your backpack and sleeping bag.
The bed was a bit small for the three of you, especially since the guys were so bulky, but you managed to make it work. The only thing was… shivering in between them was hardly more comfortable than shivering by yourself, and now there wasn’t enough space to curl up into a ball and hope for the best.
“Sugar, stop squirmin’, c’mere.” Sy’s strong arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you close, when up until now you’d been trying desperately not to touch either of them. “Alright, I take it back, she is freezin’.” A gesture to Walter you could feel but not see, made him scooch over, too, until his body was flush against yours.
Your heart raced in your throat when warm hands slipped underneath your hoodie, stroking your side and – eventually – your stomach. Somewhere down the line, you forgot how to breathe properly, taking in shallow breaths, hoping the guys wouldn’t notice. Of course, they did, because they were inches away from you.
“You should take this off, sugar,” Sy mumbled into your ear. Every muscle in your body tensed up at the suggestion, and it felt like the air was knocked out of your lungs.
“C-can’t,” you stammered, “I’m not… eh… I’m not wearing a bra.”
“Fairly sure we’ve seen a pair of tits before, love,” Walter replied, right at the time Sy muttered ‘neither are we’, making you laugh. Somehow, all of this seemed innocent – or rather; you were convincing yourself it felt innocent, and any subtext and undertones were a figment of your imagination, instead, when in fact, it was far more likely that it was exactly the other way around…
“Not mine,” you protested, biting your lip as a third hand, belonging to Walter, began to roam your back.
“We’re aware of that,” Sy said, his voice dangerously close to your ear. His breath was hot against your cold skin – a sensation that made you shiver.
“In fact, we try not to think about it. It makes us sad,” Walter said, leaning his forehead against yours, sliding his hand down your back and then up your side until his thumb was less than an inch away from the underside of your boobs.
For a moment, the thought that this was just a tactic to actually warm you up flashed through your head, because – in all fairness – it was working. Every part of you was suddenly glowing, breath quick and ragged in anticipation of whatever it was that would come next. What surprised you, though, was how calm they both seemed. Then again, they had already – unknowingly – admitted to having done this before. If that was where this was headed, which you still didn’t quite know for sure… It was as if the guys were both waiting for something. Waiting for… you.
Your lips trembled as you tilted your head up, Walter taking your hint and pressing his lips to yours. Sy pushed your hair out of the way and latched on to your neck. Neither of them went straight to groping you – not more than they had been up until now – but it was only a matter of time before you felt Walter’s hand creep up to your chest. He broke your kiss, his eyes silently asking for permission, which you gave him with the flash of a smile and a slight nod, gasping when his fingers brushed past your nipple. Despite the rising temperatures in the tent – even though most of that was likely just your imagination – the difference between your skin and Walter’s was striking, and you moaned when his warm hand cupped your breast.
Sy was less subtle by about a million degrees, boldly grabbing as much of your other boob as humanly possible – and he had big hands, so you quickly ran out of tit for him to dig his fingers into.
“Can you take it easy,” you blurted out as you laughed in surprise at his – as far as you were concerned – unwarranted enthusiasm.
“Darlin’, I’ve been dreamin’ of these tits for weeks, throw a man a bone.” He groaned when you backed a hip into him the same way you would have if he had been standing next to you.
“Looks like you’re the one throwing me a bone, Syverson,” you teased when you felt his cock push against your ass. It was a horrible joke; Walter laughed, Sy did not – possibly because he was the one on the receiving end of your mockery. Instead, you heard a low, arrogant chuckle in your ear, that told you exactly how he wasn’t going to give you the upper hand.
“I ain’t throwin’ you nothin’, sugar,” he growled, putting a hand on your hip, gripping you tight. “I’m gonna make you fuckin’ beg for it.”
“Promises, promises.” Teasing the boys was fun when you were studying, because you very clearly had a head start in that department, and they would get frustrated, and it was very cute. But now, sandwiched between their bodies, gone was your head start. Any advantage you had over them, in any other way, was useless here. The worst part? They fucking knew it. It was as if they grew bigger and you got smaller, and you were loving every second of it.
Suddenly, the hands underneath your sweater grew impatient, tugging the fabric up until there was no point in keeping it on. Rough hands turned you on your back, which left you staring up at both guys while they raked their eyes over your naked upper body. The knowledge that they were far from unaffected by you graced you with a sense of pride that helped keep doubts and shyness away as you reveled in their attention and the appreciative grunts and moans they let out as they looked at you.
“Fuck,” Walter muttered, licking his lips, completely focused on your bare skin. He scooched closer to you, grinding his hips into your side as he did, and turned your face to his to kiss you.
It was as eager as before, this time with Sy descending, pressing his lips to your neck, exceeding every expectation you had created in your fantasy from before; their lips were softer, their tongues wetter, and the way the coarse hair felt on your skin better than anything you could ever imagine. You whined and squirmed as their hands glided over your body, paying plenty of attention to your boobs, their fingers treating the soft flesh in remarkably similar ways. After a while, they switched places; Sy kissed you, Walter explored your body, making you gasp into Sy’s mouth as he wrapped his lips around your nipple, sucking gently on the hardened little bud while his fingers worked the other.
Eventually, he came back up to kiss you, a situation Sy took advantage of by diving straight back between your boobs, this time sliding his hand down your stomach and into your sweatpants – which is when you grabbed his wrist.
“Stop.” Stern and very effective – not that you were about to give the boys any credit for not assaulting you; that sounded like common fucking decency to you, actually. “Before this goes any further; did either of you, with your infinite wisdom and incredible foresight, pack condoms? Because if not…” Before you finished that sentence, both of them sat up and reached for their bag, leaving you there, taken aback by… You didn’t actually know what had you so shocked about this.
Sy made it back to your side first, tucking a handful of condoms beneath his pillow before laying down again. “Oral?” he asked. It was only half the question, but you understood perfectly. You quickly established that everyone was clean, making the short answer to his half-question ‘without’. Sy responded to that agreement by promptly sliding his hand into your pants, not wasting any more time. His fingers slipped between your folds, and he let out a low chuckle.
“For a moment I was worried you didn’t want this as much as we do,” he growled in your ear. “Guess I was wrong.” One quick, skilled swirl of his finger around your swollen clit made you whine – a sound he clearly found very motivational, because his fingers picked up a steady rhythm. You tried to hide your face in Walter’s neck to cover up the sound of your moans, but he caught you and kissed you instead.
Sy somehow found the time to kiss your neck, your jaw, your ear – sinking his teeth into you ever so slightly, stopping just before he hurt you – while he continued what he was doing. His fingers were absolute magic, making you swear under your breath as he effortlessly slipped two of them inside you. Next, he kissed his way down again, not stopping at your breasts, but continuing over your abs, until he reached your sweatpants, pulling them down eagerly without waiting for your permission. Of course, he had it – and you’d had plenty of time to stop him while he was headed there. It’s just that… That was about the very last thing you wanted.
Next to you, Walter kept busy pressing lazy kisses to your neck and jaw, occasionally pulling away to look at you, while he held you and played with your boobs. A few times you tried to move your hand to the bulge in his sweatpants, but he stopped you every time.
“Would you just...”
“Darling, been there, done that. You’ll be useless to me within seconds.” He nodded towards Sy, who was taking a moment to find a decent position between your legs. You raised your eyebrow at Walter, questioning his words, but he didn’t budge. “I’m gonna wait my turn, love.”
“I know this one,” Sy said, running his fingers over the fabric of your thong. You chuckled – he was right; he’d barged into your room one night while you were changing into whatever you were going to wear out to the club, and he’d seen you in your underwear. This underwear. He took his sweet time taking it off, teasing you with kisses on the inside of your thighs, his beard rough against your sensitive skin, until you were almost begging him to keep going. Finally, he pulled your panties down.
“You were right,” he said to Walter, leaving you to wonder what the fuck… “It is her natural hair color.” Oh. You fought the urge to kick Sy – instead, you lightly squeezed your thighs shut around his head. It didn’t seem to bother him. Quite the opposite, in fact.  
The urge disappeared altogether when you – finally – felt his tongue on your pussy. He wasn’t subtle, but damn, he was good. Walter had absolutely had a point; barely ten seconds in and you couldn’t keep your eyes open, let alone focus on anything other than the feeling of Sy’s tongue on your clit. He impatiently spread your legs further while mumbling some very dirty things about how much he wanted to taste you. Involuntarily, you chuckled – causing both guys to stop what they were doing and looking at you in suspicion. Lying was pointless; they knew you well enough by now to effortlessly see through that, and you sighed.
“I… eh…” you stammered, unable to find the words.
“Come on,” Walter said, “if you’ve still got things to hide from us now…” He was right, of course, this wasn’t a position you’d have found yourself in at all if you hadn’t been so comfortable with – and hot for – these guys. Then again, you were already exposed and vulnerable… Why make that worse?
You hid your face in Walter’s neck as you just said what was on your mind without thinking about it: “I always imagined you to be the quiet one and Sy the loud one.”
“Always?” Sy teased you. His usual cocky attitude transferred seemly to the bedroom – or… tent – as it would seem. Except now, for once, you had a decent shot at shutting him the fuck up – although you did have a feeling you were going to like his smug confidence for a change. Sy had been growing out his buzzcut for a few weeks now, which made his hair just about long enough to grab – a fact you used to your advantage when you tangled your fingers in his hair and pulled his face back to where you wanted it.
“That’s just going to make it harder to answer the question, darling,” Walter muttered next to you while drawing circles around your nipples with impatient fingers.
“Fuck!” you shrieked as Sy’s tongue hit your clit just right – a note he took to heart, because he didn’t leave that spot again, leaving you wishing that all men were that smart. Because why – for the love of God – did they always change their approach as soon as they found a spot you let them know you really liked? Right… The question at hand… “You really thought it was just the two of you dreaming about me?” They had to be smart enough to figure out what you meant on their own, right? The flustered look on Walter’s face told you enough, as did the deep chuckle and gentle bite on the inside of your thigh.
Apparently fed up with your conversation, Sy doubled down on his efforts, eating you out like a man starved, more chuckles escaping him as he watched you pull his pillow over your face in an attempt to keep quiet. ‘Attempt’ because you still failed quite horribly when he pushed two fingers into your pussy and curled them, finding your g-spot without any effort. The orgasm that followed was the kind of toe-curling, earth-shattering, life-changing thing that made you really mad at yourself for one particular reason…
“Jesus fucking Christ, I should have taken you up on your offer when my useless ex broke up with me,” you moaned as Sy made his way up again, pulling in the pillow that you had haphazardly thrown aside – after you were done screaming­, that is – so you could catch your breath. Sy immediately pulled you on top of him, kissing you hard and deep, allowing you to taste yourself on his tongue. It was something that had always made you feel weird and – if you were being perfectly honest – mildly disgusted when it had been your ex doing it, but there was something about the way Sy had gone down on you, and the way he was kissing you now, something unapologetic, passionate, and enthusiastic, that made you want to kiss him.
In fact, you were just about to commit to the bit when someone – and that someone had to be Walter – grabbed you by your hips and dragged you back until you were on your knees. You tried to lie down again as you heard him rummage around, looking for something – the obvious, really. The smack on your ass made you shriek in surprise, only making you slightly worried that either sound would have been audible well outside the tent.
“Stay there,” Walter’s husky voice commanded. “My turn.” Maybe he was the quiet one, but when he did speak… Oh my! You didn’t dare to move a muscle, leaving you sitting there, exposed as you heard the pretty familiar crinkling of foil. Shortly after, you felt the tip of Walter’s cock glide along the length of your slit. He teased you for a moment before lining himself up and slowly pushing into you. Sy laughed as your eyes went wide, and he grabbed your hand, guiding it to the bulge in his pants. Jackass. As soon as you got a good sense of what he was equipped with, you squealed. Not with any particular emotion in mind, just… Right now, you didn’t know what to think. In fact, Walter was well on his way to at least semi-permanently turning the whole thinking-function of your brain off.
“You alright, love?” Walter asked as he slowly pushed further into you.
“So far so good,” you moaned, “but I hope you’re running out of dick, because I’m running out of places to put it.” Cue roaring laughter from both guys…
“If you ever wonder why we love you,” Sy said, his sentence interrupted by more laughter, “that, right there. That’s why.”
You wanted to respond to that, you really did, but Walter pulling out of you already left you breathless, meaning all you could do was gasp when he slammed back into you. You’d never pictured either of them to be gentle. Concerned for your comfort, sure, but not tender. You’d been right. Luckily, gentle lovemaking was very low on your list of priorities in this particular situation – or ever – which meant you reveled in the brutish attention you got and soon found yourself wanting to beg Walter to fuck you harder.
Sy, as vocal as he’d been before, turned out to also be a champion in impatiently nudging your hand, vaguely suggesting he wanted you to do something, and for a moment it felt like you were about to regain some control of the situation, but no… He was also not above manhandling you into a position where your face hovered over his crotch, and taking his dick out himself once he got really fed up with your stalling. With your eyes wide, you looked at him – something he enjoyed for a moment before tapping the tip of his cock to your lips.
“Don’t make me ask, Sugar,” he growled. As much as you wanted to protest and act out, with Walter fucking the attitude out of you, there was nothing you could do but open your mouth and carefully wrapping your lips around him. The chuckle you let out as Sy grunted appreciatively when you swirled your tongue around his cock was interrupted by your own moan when Walter did… whatever it was that he did to cause it.
Slowly but surely, you made your way further down Sy’s dick, until a particularly violent thrust from Walter threw you off, accidentally forcing Sy deeper than you could handle. Choking and sputtering, you moved away from Sy, only scared for a moment that he’d be disappointed, but he had a different reaction – similar to Walter’s: checking to see if you were okay. Again, you were not in the habit of handing out bonus points for normal behavior, but it was nice, regardless.
“I’m fine,” you said between ragged breaths. “Note to self: deepthroating while getting railed from behind; bad idea.” The guys laughed, and as soon as you’d caught your breath, you joined them.
“There’s one way we all get attention without any risk of choking,” Sy mentioned casually, wiggling an eyebrow suggestively. Yes, you knew what he meant instantly, but… both of them? At the same time? All it took to convince you to at least give it a try was Walter slipping out of you, leaving you empty and nowhere near sated. One of Sy’s sly glances was a question to Walter, who ‘hmmph’-ed. You didn’t like the sound of that, per se, and looked over your shoulder to see what he was on about.
“Definitely depends,” he said, taking your lack of an immediate ‘absolutely the fuck not’-reaction as a sign you were considering it. And he was correct in that interpretation of the situation. “There’s a time and place for first time anal, and this is not it.” That was a sentiment you could absolutely get behind. Luckily, it didn’t matter, because it was hardly applicable. You assured the guys you had plenty of experience in that area.
Another potential spanner in the works that Sy mentioned, was the lack of lube. Somehow, Walter surprised you by mentioning you should have some with you – you did, but how did he know that?
“You use it to keep your hair from going frizzy,” he deadpanned. You looked at him as if you’d seen a ghost, while Sy looked at you as if you’d gone completely nuts.
“What?” you said, turning to Sy again. “It works!” With one hand, you reached for the strap of your backpack, pulling it towards you so you could look for the bottle. It was just under half full, but that should be enough…
Walter wasn’t stingy with the stuff, which was a good thing. There were few things more annoying to you than continuously having to tell a guy to use more lube. One, then two, then three fingers disappeared into you without a hitch, and although the fourth was a nice reminder that you had to relax, that went over without too much trouble as well. Somehow, somewhere in your mind, the fact that Walter seemed to know exactly what he was doing irked you – it was completely hypocritical of you, for obvious reasons, but right now the thought of him with anyone else made you mad.
The boys laughed when you voiced the absurd thought, and Sy didn’t neglect to point out that they hadn’t been too happy about several of the ‘scum’ (yes, really) you’d gotten together with in the time they’d known you. It was a weird thing to be joking about with two of your closest friends while one of them had several fingers stuck up your ass, but at the same time it felt very natural and on-brand for your relationship with the guys.
You whined when Walter pulled his fingers out, making Sy chuckle in a way you didn’t like at all.
“Maybe we should go to sleep,” he suggested with a smug grin on his face that only widened when you told him you were definitely not going to do that. “Why not, sugar?”
Fuck, he was making good on that promise from before. Now, of course, you could convince yourself that begging for cock was beneath you, and you weren’t going to do it, but that would leave you – relatively – unfucked, which was… not desirable, to say the least. Or you could admit to yourself and them how much you wanted both of them inside of you, and have a great time.
Somehow, the red light that no one had bothered to turn off – luckily, as everything you had been doing so far would have been more or less impossible in the dark – already made the tent feel like… a brothel, quite frankly, you put your doubts aside and looked at Sy.
“We’re not going to sleep, because you’re not done fucking me,” you said, giving him your best bedroom eyes. Sy seemed impressed at first, but his eyes flitted to Walter and…
A strong hand grabbed your shoulder and pulled you up until your back hit Walter’s chest. His arm reached around, grabbing you by your throat – lightly, almost as if to ask for permission, but demanding.
“What do you want?” he asked, his voice dark and gravelly. Down on the air mattress, Sy smirked up at you, making it painfully obvious that you wouldn’t get out of this, no matter how hard you tried. You quickly scanned your brain for all your options, sadly coming up completely empty. No matter which way you sliced it, they were going to come out on top.
“I want you to fuck me,” you snapped, “both of you.” A sarcastic chuckle behind you and Sy shaking his head as he looked up at you told you that that wasn’t good enough. After a deep breath, your voice softened as you spoke again, finally saying the word they wanted to hear: “Please.”
For a long, dull moment all you really heard was the sound of two more condoms being unwrapped, and the top of the bottle of lube clicking. Then, Sy pulled you towards him. As soon as you felt his tip at your entrance, you sat down, fighting the urge to slap him when he threw a smirk and that godforsaken horrible wink your way. Under normal circumstances you considered yourself very well versed in resisting that desire, but today… He laughed when your palm landed lightly on his cheek and thrust up into you for good measure, making you squeal and fall over. Luckily, he caught you just in time.
Just as you wanted to sit up again, Walter put a hand on your back. Right. In that little moment of silliness, you’d almost forgotten what the endgame was, but now that you felt Walter’s cock pushing against your ass…
“Keep talking to us, okay?” Sy whispered softly as he saw your expression change. He cupped your cheek, gently stroking your cheekbone with his thumb. “Breathe.” You took his advice immediately – no doubt a nice change of pace for him, as he was used to your stubbornness at this point – taking a few deep breaths. It wasn’t until the third or fourth one that Walter moved, slowly pushing into you. Keeping your eyes open was absolutely impossible, the sensation of both of them filling you up at the same time too much to even really wrap your head around. “Sugar, you okay?”
“Uhuh.” You nodded, showcasing your current full extent of your ability to answer. When Walter moved, you swore under your breath – when they both moved you hid your face in Sy’s neck and let out a loud moan, followed by an out-of-breath ‘fuck yes’, and that was all the confirmation they needed.
They established a rhythm suspiciously quickly, pumping in and out of you in sync. Yeah. They’d definitely done this before. As you pushed the thought away and focused on the incredible sensations of their cocks moving inside of you, their eager – and mostly greedy – hands on your hips, shoulders, ass, thighs, and tits, you felt a familiar pressure inside of you.
“Don’t stop,” you blurted out – and the boys seemed more than happy to oblige. With one little disclaimer…
“Make it quick, love… Not gonna last,” Walter grunted, digging his fingers into the flesh of your hips. It hurt, causing you to swat at his hand, which made him relax his grip a bit. Judging from Sy’s rapid breaths and a concentrated look on his face that gave away just how much difficulty he was having with keeping his rhythm steady, he was getting pretty damn close, too. In fact, pretty much the second their thrusts dragged you over the edge, both of them grit their teeth and gave in to their own pleasure, growling profanities as they came.
The boys were nice enough to handle most of the cleanup for you – which was, given that you were camping, largely a matter of wet wipes, which was definitely not even close to the shower you would have loved to take right about now. And you couldn’t really appreciate Sy’s joke about a lovely, refreshing river near where you were, either.
“Maybe tomorrow,” you yawned, turning around in the middle of the bed, wrapping your sleeping bag tightly around your shoulders. It didn’t take the guys long to join you, and soon you were sandwiched between them again, strong arms wrapped around you – clearly not planning on letting go anytime soon.
Walter pressed his lips to your shoulder and let out a low chuckle. “Still cold, darling?”
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The next morning, you woke up in an empty bed, in a tent that was already slightly warmer than comfortable, with just your sleeping bag on it. The guys had somehow already managed to worm theirs into the tiny little bags they came in, and all without waking you. Then again, it was safe to say that by now they’d proven themselves to be experts in the field of putting pretty big things in relatively tiny places…
For a moment, you wondered if you should feel weird about getting up and going outside, seeing the guys, but something about the whole thing felt so oddly natural that you didn’t give it a second thought.
“Mornin’, sugar,” Sy said as he held out some coffee to you when you joined him on the ground by the fire, where you’d spent the start of last night, as well. The two of you called Walter over, who was just about done putting your tent – the one that had been meant to be yours, anyway – away. He tossed the bag into the bed of the truck as if it weighed nothing – and maybe it indeed didn’t, you wouldn’t know, because you hadn’t touched the entire thing – and made his way over to you, gratefully taking the other cup of coffee Sy had poured.
You knew better than to try striking up a conversation with either of them before they’d finished their morning coffee – it was so bad that whenever you had classes together in the mornings, you showed up there with two double espressos for them and a latte for you, because if you didn’t do that, they’d just grouch and snap at you all the way through the first half of class.
It was all the more surprising, then, when Sy suddenly asked Walter a very unexpected question: “Have you ever kissed a dude?” The answer was no, he hadn’t - to which followed an even more surprising question: “Ever wanted to try it?”
The casual energy of the shrug with which Walter answered that question was absolutely unmatched by anything you had ever seen, and you stared at the guys, wide-eyed as they leaned in until their lips touched. It wasn’t just a quick peck, either! No, there was tongue involved in this… And by the end of it?
“Eh,” Walter said, “not for me.” Sy agreed.
“I’m sorry,” you said, completely taken aback by the unexpectedness of what had just happened. “What? You can’t just… Stick your tongue down your friend’s throat and then casually decide… What?”
“Hey,” Sy said, his tone still infuriatingly indifferent, “don’t knock it till you try it.”
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poledancingdinos · 9 months ago
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Hostile Territory - Chapter 22
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Pairing: Captain Syverson x OFC (Leah Coleman)
Word count: 3.2K
Warnings: Past Sexual Harassment, Past Physical Violence, Masturbation (M)
Catch up: Series Masterlist
Taglist: @amberangel112 @utterlyhopeful-fics @marantha @kebabgirl67 @littleone65 @omgkatinka @luclittlepond @athenepromachos @enchantedbytomandhenry @narnianaos @geralts-yenn @peaches1958 @avengersfan25 @sillyrabbit81 @summersong69 @identity2212 @liecastillo @lena-banena @mrsevans90 @confessionbrain-writings @eclecticfashionbookszipper @happydistraction @hannah9921 @valacircareads @toooldforobsessions @kingliam2019
Masterlist
Day 204
Leah filled an entire shopping cart with vegetables, cheese, chips and all the fixings for a massive taco feast. That was, everything except the meat. For that, they stopped at a butcher shop on the way back. Sy hadn’t expected for things to still be so domestic after his conversation with Leah over breakfast but he wouldn’t want it any other way. 
Sy was sure he’d misheard Leah when she told the man she needed six flank steaks but, as it turned out, it was no mistake. The small army Leah had referred to was not much of an exaggeration. Apparently, they were expecting up to thirty people which was about half the population of Warhorse.
It was a good thing they had taken Caleb’s car instead of his rental. They wouldn’t have been able to fit the multiple cases of beer, wine, juice and soda in addition to the groceries. It was also simpler to leave anything not perishable in the car rather than hull it in and out of the house.
By lunch time, they had finished their assigned task, the flank steaks had been put in the fridge to marinate and the two of them were back cuddling on the couch after eating a few sandwiches.
To Leah’s surprise, in addition to loving fantasy books, Sy was a bit of a history buff. He found a show about some famous British king and, though Leah had never heard of it, the leading men were pretty to look at so she was willing to give it a shot.
After the first episode, Leah began to feel restless. The show was interesting and, let’s be honest, the money shot twenty minutes in didn’t hurt at all, but she just felt like they should have been doing something… more.
“I guess this wasn’t exactly what you were expecting when you flew out here to see me.”
Sy looked down at Leah over her shoulder but with her back to his chest and her gaze stubbornly fixed forward, he couldn’t read her expression.
“What do you mean?” he asked, tightening the arm he had wrapped around her waist while sliding his other hand over her stomach.
“I don’t know,” she shrugged, resting her head against his shoulder. “It feels like in the movies the people who get two weeks of romance before they have to go their separate ways spend them having all these big adventures or fucking like rabbits and we’re just sitting at home watching the X-rated version of British history.”
“To be fair, if we’d had X-rated history in school I might have actually learned something.”
Sy’s attempt to lighten the mood didn’t do much good. Leah still chewed the inside of her cheek like it was an olympic sport.
He pulled Leah up onto his lap, stroking his thumb over the outside of her abused cheek.
“Babygirl, when our two weeks are over, we don’t go our separate ways, we go back to Warhorse.” Sy pressed a kiss to her temple, threading his fingers through her hair. “We don’t need adventures while we’re home because we get enough life-threatening missions while we’re away.” The tip of his nose brushed the shell of her ear as he moved to kiss the side of her neck. “And you don’t need to compare us to a Nicholas Sparks movie as fitting as it might seem.”
Busted. She hadn’t expected for him to know what she was referring to but clearly he was well versed in cheesy military romances.
“It’s a book too,” she grumbled.
“Oh?” Sy smirked against her skin, lifting his head to meet her gaze. “Well if it’s a book then we should be following it step by step. Although that Dear John letter might not have the same effect if you hand it to me on base.”
Leah shook her head, slipping from his grasp and moving to stand away with her arms crossed over her chest. “We won’t physically be apart but we won’t be together either. We can’t be so what are we supposed to do then? Am I supposed to sneak into your room after lights out and sneak back before anybody wakes up? Do we go back to how things were before we left?”
Sy pulled her back to him, flipping Leah onto her back and slotting himself between her legs so she wouldn’t be tempted to run again. Okay, maybe she hadn’t run so much as pulled away but he wasn’t letting it happen again. “I wish I had an answer to that, darlin’.” He moved a stray piece of hair out of her face, gazing down at her in such a way that she already knew what he would say next. And for once, it didn’t scare her. “I just know that I love you and that I’m not ready to let ya go.”
“Yeah?” she asked, in barely a whisper.
“Yeah…” He’d never said those words to a woman before and he was suddenly worried he’d spoken too soon.
Thankfully, the cutest little shy smile pulled at Leah’s lips. “I love you too.”
“Yeah?” he repeated, leading Leah to playfully slap his shoulder.
“Shut up and kiss me already.”
Leah felt more than heard Sy’s appreciative rumble. “Yes ma’am,” he growled before sealing his lips over hers.
Her hands snuck up his shirt, exploring the vast expanse of his back. Pinned under his comforting weight, there was no space left between them but she still tried to pull him closer by wrapping her legs around his waist.
“Ignore that,” Sy mumbled when his erection pressed against her covered core. 
“You don’t have to.”
“I’m gonna anyway.”
By some twisted coincidence, breathless moans coming from the television pulled their attention away from each other and over to the screen where the King was being generously served by a woman on her knees.
Sy broke away from Leah’s hold, reaching for the remote and switching the show off. As he dropped back onto the couch, he took a deep breath, grateful for the moment of reprieve before he blew his load in his pants. Before they could get back to what they were doing, footsteps coming from the upper floor alerted them to the time.
“Shit, I need to get the car loaded. Caleb’s gonna be fussing with his hair until the last possible second so he won’t think to do it himself.”
“I should uh… I should go shower.”
Not wanting to draw attention to the little situation he would obviously be dealing with while he was in there, Leah simply nodded and moved towards the kitchen.
“Oh!” Sy looked up towards where Leah stood in the doorway of the kitchen. “Wear something warm and pull out some stuff for overnight. I’ll put it in a bag for later.”
Intrigued, the Captain made his way upstairs to get his clothes. As he walked by the half-open bathroom door, he saw Caleb bent over the counter as he styled his hair, wearing only a towel. With a smile on his face, Sy riffled through his duffle, tossing some clothes on the bed and taking his nicest jeans and henley to change into after his shower.
As he stepped under the spray in the small first floor shower, Sy was still at half-mast. As soon as he replayed the moment where Leah told him she loved him, he was back to granite. He put a hand on the wall and wrapped the other around the base of his cock, giving it a squeeze. There was no time to draw things out, he just needed a clear head for the rest of the night.
Leah might have thought he shut off the show to avoid making her uncomfortable but the truth was that he shut it off to stop picturing Leah on her knees for him. He would wrap that hair he loved so much around his fist and use it to move her head over his shaft.
The water rolled down his back as his muscle clenched with every stroke up and down his length. Sy released a shaky breath when his thumb slid over his tip just right. He slowly repeated the motion a few more times, causing his ass to clench as his hips bucked forward of their own accord.
“Shit,” he hissed, his head falling forward.
Closing his eyes, Sy envisioned Leah’s tongue darting out to taste the beads of precum dripping from his slit. Then her lips would wrap around the head and she would sink down the length of his dick, going further and further each time. Her small hand would work the bottom half of his shaft and when she would be done making him nice and wet, she would take her hand away and sink down until he hit the back of her throat.
Before he even realized he was close, Sy was shooting his load onto the shower wall. A shiver ran down his entire body as a choked moan escaped his lips.
“Holy shit.”
Though his chest was still heaving, Sy couldn’t afford to waste any more time. He quickly rinsed the shower wall and used the available bottle of body wash to clean himself and his beard.
Sy stepped out of the bathroom just as a voice sounded from the second floor.
“Leah, come on we gotta go!” Caleb ran down the stairs with his hair perfectly styled but his shirt not yet fully buttoned. “Where the hell did I put my wallet?”
“Your wallet is with your keys on the table. The car is loaded and the electric cooler is plugged in for the cold stuff. We’ll meet you there.”
That made Caleb freeze halfway through putting his shoes on. “The fuck you are.” He marched back towards the kitchen where Leah sat at the table. “Look, I know you weren’t legal yet but we made a deal when you got that death machine and we agreed you’d never drive it after drinking ever no matter how little and especially not at night.”
Sy didn’t appreciate the raised voice and was tempted to intervene but he knew better than to get in between fighting siblings or to fight Leah’s battle for her. Leah, however, didn’t at all seem phased by her brother’s outburst, crossing her arms and waiting for him to finish his rant.
“Do you have any idea how many motorcycle accidents we get in the ER and what kind of damage the riders get? Broken bones, concussions, road rash… that’s the injuries the lucky ones get. The unlucky ones go straight to the morgue.” 
“Are you done?” she asked, standing and walking around the table.
Caleb looked taken aback by his sister’s calm tone. 
“Sy has a rental car which he can use to drive us but I was thinking we could take the long way there with my bike and stay at the cabin tonight.”
“Oh.” Caleb let out a relieved sigh, wiping a hand down his face. He hadn’t automatically assumed she would be staying the night since the cabin only had one bedroom and they normally just made the half hour drive back so they could each sleep in their own beds. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell like that.” He pulled Leah into a hug, muttering an ‘I love you’ into her hair.
If Sy had to venture a guess, he would say that their open affection came from the unexpected loss of their dad. Caleb was obviously terrified something might happen to Leah as well. And who could blame him considering the things he witnessed every day working in a hospital emergency room?
“Do you ride?” Leah asked once she saw Caleb off.
Sy nodded. “I got my bike license before I got my car license.”
“So… What do you think about riding up together?”
With a sigh, he caught Leah by the hips, pulling her closer. She responded by clasping her hands around Sy’s neck.
“Darlin’, I’m willin’ to put my male pride aside for a lot of things ‘cause I know you’re tough as hell and independent to a fault but I draw the line at ridin’ bitch.”
He was expecting some kind of snappy retort at his choice of words but Leah just smirked.
“Who said you’d be the one ridin’ bitch?”
Now that sounded like an amazing idea. Leah’s bike didn’t have anything for a passenger to hold onto so she would be forced to wrap her arms around him if she wanted to stay in her seat.
“Well if you’re offerin’ so nicely.”
After Leah found her spare helmet and set up a GPS on the front of her bike, they packed their change of clothes in a backpack and set off for the evening. It didn’t take long to realize why Leah had suggested the ride. The fall colors were gorgeous along the open road. As a bonus, Leah’s body was pressed flush against his back, her legs framing his and her gloved hands fisted in his old leather jacket.
Sy was almost disappointed when Leah pointed out the dirt path that led off through the trees. 
“Finally,” Caleb said as they walked in. He was halfway through the back door, holding a stack of what looked like four by fours in his arms. “L I need you to cut up the vegetables while me and Lachlan finish setting up the yard. Camden will be here soon with the stereo equipment.”
Out in the yard, Caleb’s friend was raking the leaves, while Caleb began attaching what Sy now knew to be legs to a table top.
“There isn’t much room in here so we take the legs off the tables when we store them. It also makes them easier to bring in and out of the cabin.”
Leah had obviously realized what he was looking at while she began pulling the vegetables out of the grocery bags.
“Why not just use folding tables?” he asked, taking everything over to the sink to be washed.
“Folding tables are expensive for what they are. Plus they’re often really narrow so my dad custom built three different tables that were the same size and could be attached together with brackets. With a power drill, it doesn’t take much longer to set up.”
Leah was almost done chopping the peppers and onions when the next person arrived, letting himself in.
The man gave a general greeting to the guys who’d come back inside to wash their hands before dropping his bags and moving to stand behind Leah. He put both hands over Leah’s ears and turned to Caleb.
“Why is Leah in the kitchen?” he stage whispered.
Caleb laughed, waving off the man’s concern. “Relax, she’s getting the vegetables ready. No cooking involved, only her scary knife skills.”
“Oh, well that’s fine.” He removed his hands and set them on her shoulders instead. “Hey Killer, welcome home.” He pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek before unpacking his supplies.
“Fuck you, I’m not that bad a cook,” she said, shooting a glare at the older man.
“Says the girl who managed to make a salad inedible.”
“You mix up the sugar and the salt one time…” she grumbled under her breath, looking back towards the cutting board.
Sy couldn’t help but smile at the adorable way she was pouting.
“Why does everyone call you Killer?” he asked, both genuinely curious and wanting to draw the attention away from Leah’s apparently lacking culinary skills.
A blush crept up Leah’s cheeks as she expertly sliced onions into long, even strips.
“It’s not everyone, just the guys who were around while I was in my freshman year of high school.”
“That doesn’t answer his question though,” Lachlan pointed out.
When Leah remained silent, Camden took over.
“One day, while me and our friend Niki were studying at his house, he got a call from Leah’s school asking him to come in because they couldn’t reach Caleb. When we get there, the principal calls Niki in and starts telling him how Leah was getting suspended because she attacked another student. The guy starts going on about how they will have to involve social workers if we can’t keep Leah in line and says that she needs a strong hand to keep her emotional outbursts in check. So Niki pulls me and Leah in and asks what caused the altercation. Turns out, the principal’s son had been calling Leah ‘doll’ despite her telling him numerous times to stop.”
“That’s when Niki asked if I was the only one being punished for what happened which was a stupid question seeing as they knew exactly who his son was and they knew for a fact that he could get away with murder.”
Camden hummed in agreement. “I was pre-law at the time so I gave him some speech about sexual harassment being a gateway to rape and that by not addressing the harassment he was condoning it and fostering a hostile study environment. It spooked him enough that he agreed to drop her suspension. Anyway once we left the school Niki made a comment about how Leah had every right to go Chucky on his punk ass. Killer kind of stuck after that.”
Never in a million years would Sy have guessed that Leah’s nickname would come from ‘killer doll’. In a way, it was kind of brilliant that they would use it as a way to praise her for sticking up for herself.
He remembered how Leah had said she’d isolated herself after their dad had died and realized it was probably a result of that asshole principal threatening to involve social services instead of admitting his own son had done something wrong.
“I’d never seen Niki so angry before,” Caleb chimed in. “When I got home from my midterm he looked about ready to hunt the kid down himself.”
“Still would have been better than Gage being the one to do it.”
“Fuck,” Caleb shook his head, clearly in agreement with Lachlan’s comment, “dad would have brought him back just to kill him all over again.”
When the three men stepped out to unload the stereo equipment, Sy slipped in behind Leah, putting his hands on her hips. “Is it all pet names that make you go serial killer or just ‘doll’?”
Leah looked outside, making sure Caleb was still out of earshot before she set the knife down and turned to face Sy.
“I lost my shit that day because he told me that if I wanted guys to notice me I should be a good little doll and only open my mouth when I wanted someone to stick something in it. I didn’t want any of them to worry more than necessary so I never told them.”
“Jesus,” he pulled Leah closer as if wanting to shield her from the memory, “I think that just ruined the word doll for me.”
He rested his forehead against Leah’s, taking a deep breath. 
“That’s okay, I like ‘darling’ better anyway. Or baby girl, that was nice too.”
Chapter 23
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awaywithwitchers · 1 year ago
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At a potluck
Geralt: why did you label this, “grilled cheese casserole,” Jask?
Yen: this is clearly just baked Mac and cheese with bread crumbs on top.
Jaskier: I knew you wouldn’t get it
Geralt: what even is there to get?
Jask: *sighs* so a grilled cheese, is a sandwich, and it’s made of bread and cheese. This is cheese pasta with bread, ergo—
Geralt: I know what a—
Yen: Jaskier, that’s literally just a description of macaroni and cheese. This is already a thing.
Jask: How dare you say that to me
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fandom-junk-drawer · 8 months ago
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The Witcher Headcanon (Modern Au) - Error 404 Brain Not Found: Bonus Scene - Part 15
It started with Jaskier laughing at Yennefer sneezing her mouth full of salad on the kitchen table while he was in the middle of eating. A few bits of his ham and cheese sandwich tumbled out of his mouth, landing in his glass of tea. "F**khh--!"
"Ha!" Yennefer laughed, "That's what you get!"
Jaskier opened his mouth and showed Yennefer the rest of his chewed up sandwich just to be childish. It fell into his glass.
"Godsd*mmit!" He snarled vehemently as Yennefer cackled.
Geralt took the glass, stirred the mess with the straw, then handed it back to Jaskier and said, "I dare you to drink it!"
Jaskier hesitated for a second. He'd eaten worse. H*ll, he'd licked a gas station toilet seat once! This was nothing! It was just tea and some wet bread. He drank the soggy mess.
"Meh," he said with a shrug. "Kind of bland, actually."
Geralt took the glass and sniffed the little bit of sludge left at the bottom, then drank it. "I'd give it a 2 out of 10."
Jaskier took the glass back and poured in a little milk, added a handful of crumbled up crisps, a spoonful of mustard, and a splash of orange juice.
And unspoken contest had just begun. Yennefer watched mutely as Jaskier drank half the concoction, then passed the other half to Geralt. They both made faces and gave their opinions on the taste.
"That tastes like a f**ked up Dreamsicle!" Jaskier announced, making a face. Geralt gagging slightly on the crisp mush, nodded his agreement.
The glass was rinsed out, and this time, a soda was poured into it. Geralt added a handful of M&Ms, a piece of leftover fried fish from last night's dinner, mayonnaise, and a scoop of pineapple pieces into the blender. This was then poured into the glass of soda.
Geralt and Jaskier each drank some.
"EEaaaUUGGGHHHH!"
"HhhUURRRGhhh!"
"You're both morons!" Yennefer said, laughing at the faces they were making as they tried to get the taste out of their mouths.
The next 'drink' consisted of spaghetti, grape juice, Lucky Charms, soy sauce, and a Snickers bar. The drink was divided and then consumed. It was chunky, and Geralt was having a little trouble getting it down. He took a breath, and sucked it down in one go.
Jaskier was trying to drink his portion as fast as he could, trying not to think too much about the chunky bits. Yennefer was holding her breath when he gagged and she saw his cheeks puff up before he swallowed heavily with a shudder.
"That tasted horrid!" He said weakly.
"It wasn't that bad," Geralt claimed.
"Bullsh*t, I saw you gag, too! And you cheated! You did that guzzling trick, so of course you didn't really taste it!"
Uh-oh, they were arguing. Yennefer hoped that maybe this whole stupid game was going to end. Unfortunately no, it was not over yet. Her boys were dumber than she'd given them credit for.
"Okay," Geralt said, "Let's just blend them up really well, and drink them with straws."
"How about we each make one and split them?"
"Hm. Good idea!"
Jaskier's creation included broccoli, bacon grease, lemon juice, half a slice of supreme pizza, peanut butter crackers, half a bottle of A** Reaper Hot Sauce, and some crumbled up chocolate cake.
Geralt's mixture contained milk, raw eggs, some kind of powdered fruit-flavored drink mix, mustard, breakfast sausage, and two sardines.
"You're going to get sick!" Yennefer warned as she watched Geralt spoon a heaping mound of chili paste into the blender.
Geralt would probably just get a mild stomach ache, but Jaskier with his acid reflux? Oh, he was going to be hurting.
"Hm!" Geralt grunted dismissively
She tried one more time to be the voice of reason as the two morons divided the Horror Cocktails between them.
"Jaskier, babe, you probably shouldn't drink that. It's going aggravate your acid reflux. Remember what happened with the Firecracker shrimp--!"
"Hush, witch, this is man business!"
"Fine, give yourselves the sh*ts, "
"Where are you going?"
"To the back yard to dig the hole I'm going to bury your stupid a** in."
Jaskier stuck his tongue out at her while simultaneously giving her the finger as she left.
"Mine first!" Jaskier said, pouring half the slurry he'd made into two glasses. He added a straw to each, then pushed one glass over to Geralt. They clinked their glasses together, and seconds later, Geralt and Jaskier were sucking down the liquefied horror.
Their exclamations of revulsion could be heard all the way to Yennefer's bedroom. They were quickly followed by the sounds of two men who were convinced their tongues were on fire.
I'm living with dumba**es. Yennefer thought to herself as she listened to them drink the sludge Geralt had made, then curse and blow and pant and make gargling noises as they chugged milk to kill the burn.
She could picture it so clearly. Jaskier and Geralt dancing around the kitchen, swearing and panting. They would be huffing long breaths in through their mouths to cool the burning sensation. Their lips would be on fire.
Geralt had heard somewhere that hair absorbed the oils that caused the burning, so they would both be rubbing handfuls of Geralt's hair on their mouths and tongues.
The noises died down after a few minutes, and Yennefer went back to her book. Her peace was disrupted about an hour later by the sounds of two jacka**es experiencing stomach issues. Geralt was in the upstairs bathroom, and Jaskier was in the downstairs, both of them sh*tting what felt like liquid fire.
When the smell began seeping out into the rest of the house, Yennefer opened a few windows and shoved some towels into the gaps under the bathroom doors. She felt only a tiny bit bad about trapping her boys in there with the horrible stench, but hey, natural consequences.
Geralt was confused and mortified as he sat on the toilet in an expanding miasma that was making him gag. He was a Witcher, and he wasn't supposed to have problems like this! F**k, he could eat roadkill, or eat out of the garbage and be fine! Witchers were made to survive on anything, they weren't supposed to get the sh*ts from a little mixed up food! His bowels cramped painfully...
Jaskier was shaking on the downstairs toilet. His stomach and his a**hole were aflame. Oh gods, this was worse than the Firecracker Shrimp incident! The heartburn, the acid in the back of his throat, the fire in his guts... This was Hell. He was in Hell. There was no other place he could be. It was pain and misery, and was that brimstone he smelled? Phew! That was rancid! Oh, sh*t, he was drooling...
Geralt: *unintelligeble cursing*
Jaskier: *barfing and sh*tting simultaneously*
Geralt: *terrifying explosive noises*
Jaskier: My a**hole's on fire!
Yennefer did the only thing she could think of to help in the situation. She cranked the volume of the stereo up, and played "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash.
Howls of outrage and distressed digestive noises rang out from the bathrooms.
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loki-is-my-kink-awakening · 11 months ago
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2023 Writing Round-up
I wrote 33 fics this year.
JANUARY
Dancing Around His Feelings (Witcher, M, 1.5k)
Jaskier visits the Countess da Stael to help him get over his heartbreak. Implied Geraskier. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.
One Special Night (Witcher, E, 1.5k)
Jaskier gives Elihal earrings for a night on the town. It leads to a special night of sex. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.
FEBRUARY
A New Life (Midnight Mass, T, 1.5k)
Priley. John plans to ask Riley to run away with him, but it turns out he was too late to ask.
A Kiss Like No Other (Loki, T, 666)
Lokius. Alt S1E6 ending. Loki and Mobius meet again and share a passionate kiss.
The Real Treasure (Witcher, M, 3.7k)
Geraskier. Modern AU. Family fluff mainly. Jaskier sends Geralt on a treasure hunt, but it’s really a ruse to spend time with his family. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.
MARCH
A Nice Afternoon (Witcher, E, 1.9k)
Geraskier. Modern AU. Smut. Jaskier and Geralt enjoy an afternoon performing a certain sex act. 69th Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.
APRIL
Sure, Big Boy (Stranger Things, T, 100)
Steddie. Steve is caught staring at Eddie.
Impatience (Stranger Things, M, 100)
Steddie. Eddie has Steve all tied up and waiting.
One On The Way (Loki, T, 3.8k)
Lokius. Canon divergence. Loki discovers he’s pregnant and doesn’t know how to tell Mobius. Gift fic.
Jaskier Sandwich (Witcher, E, 2.5k)
Geraskier/Lambden. Smut. Jaskier enjoys an afternoon sandwiched between Lambert and Aidan while Geralt watches. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.
The Temptation of Christ (Midnight Mass, E, 3.3k)
Priley. Smut. John celebrates Easter by stringing Riley up on a cross. For the Church of Priley Discord server's Easter event.
While The World Falls Apart (Loki, T, 1.3k)
Lokius. Pre S2. As Kang’s forces surround them with no hope of escape, Loki decides to kiss Mobius for the first time. Kiss prompt.
Lessons In Self Discovery (Witcher, M, 1.6k)
Geraskier/Lambden. Spanking. Geralt watches Aiden spank Jaskier and Lambert, and learns something about his own desires in the process. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.
The Tears Of A Trickster (Loki, M, 855)
Lokius. Pre S2. Mobius tries to hide his arousal at Loki crying in front of him, but the trickster knows all too well how to use it to his advantage. Flash Fic Friday Challenge.
His Summer (Witcher, G, 888)
Geraskier. Fluff. Geralt realises he doesn’t want the summer to end because it means time alone from Jaskier. Flash Fic Friday challenge.
Afterwards (Loki, T, 978)
Lokius. Angst. Loki spirals after getting together with Mobius. They run, but Mobius follows them and provides much-needed comfort. Flash Fic Friday Challenge.
Fighting To Get To You (Witcher, T, 2.6k)
Geraskefer. Geralt and Yennefer fight tooth and nail to rescue a kidnapped Jaskier. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.
MAY
All In A Day’s Work (Loki, M, 904)
Lokius. Smutty humour. HR manager Mobius is fed up with Loki being sent to see him every day for inappropriate comments, so he comes up with a creative solution. Flash Fic Friday Challenge.
The Start Of Something New (TLOU, M, 2.2k)
Bill x Frank. Smut. A deeper look at Bill and Frank’s first time together. Gift fic.
Watch It Burn (Loki, T, 3.4k)
Lokius. Hurt/comfort. Mobius doesn’t expect Loki to return after leaving him and Sylvie in the Void, but he does. Gift fic.
Keeping Hope Alive (Loki, T, 3.5k)
Mobius and Ravonna. Mobius is stuck on a mission going wrong when he bumps into Ravonna. They face the ruins of their friendship as well as the enemy. Gift fic.
Much Ado About Lokius (Loki, G, 1.9k)
Lokius. Humour. Loki and Mobius go on a mission involving a Shakespeare play, Loki in a dress and facing their inherent feelings for one another. Originally written for the Mischievous Scamp zine.
JUNE
Silky Heat (OFMD, E, 3.1k)
Stizzy. Omegaverse. Stede discovers Izzy’s secret and helps him through his heat (consensually). For Knot In My Name event.
A Barking Dog Seldom Bites (OFMD, E, 19.5k)
Stizzy/Steddyhands. Smut. Izzy finally loses the rag about Stede always touching him and it results in explosive sex. For the OFMD Reverse Big Bang.
SEPTEMBER
Drown Out All The Sound (Witcher, E, 2.7k)
Radskier. Smut/angst. Radovid has a special night planned for him and his lover, but heartache ensues in the end.
In Any Shape Or Form (Loki, E, 3k)
Lokius. Smut. Loki shifts form and now has a vagina. Mobius learns what to do with it. Gift fic.
What My Heart Just Yearns To Say (Witcher, G, 2k)
Geraskier. Geralt cares for Jaskier but can’t tell him how he feels until Jaskier forces the conversation. Kiss prompt.
OCTOBER
The Words I Could Not Say (Loki, T, 3.3k)
Lokius. MCD. Alt S2E1 ending. Loki fails to make it back to Mobius. (First chapter is sad, follow-up chapter in the works).
NOVEMBER
Let Time Pass (Loki, T, 1.6k)
Lokius. Post S2. Mobius tries to settle down after Loki frees the timeline from the loom. Years pass until one day, Loki appears.
Dream of Me (Loki, E, 2.8k)
Lokius. Post S2. Smut. Mobius thinks he’s dreaming of sleeping with Loki. Turns out he really is and he leaves behind a little something.
The Things You Do For Love (Loki, E, 2.8k)
Lokius. Smut. Set S1E4. Loki turns to desperate measures when they think Mobius no longer needs them.
DECEMBER
Need Your Discipline (Stranger Things, M, 15k)
Steddie. Spanking AU. Steve looks for discipline and finds it in the form of Eddie, but he also finds care and belonging. Prompt fill for Fandom Trumps Hate 2023.
Christmas Angel (Loki, G)
Lokius. Christmas family fluff, post S2. Loki is expecting his sixth child while also keeping the timelines alive and safe. Gift fic for All About Lokius discord server friend.
In My Arms (Stranger Things, T)
Steddie. College AU, enemies to lovers. Steve has nightmares and Eddie cuddles him to soothe them away. Prompt fill for Fandom Trumps Hate 2023.
Now I know why I wrote the most words in April because I was writing other fics at the same time as two big bang fics. Yikes.
Thanks for the tag @cha-melodius 💕
Tagging @underthebluerain @dancingwiththefae @rins-love-wins @mimisempai @pherryt @gleamingsilence @artaxlivs @definitely-not-iorveth @ialwayscomewhenyoucall @rauchendesgnu @flawney @buckybeardreams if you wanna do it.
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omgkalyppso · 1 year ago
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Fae isn't my oldest Fire Emblem OC but they're certainly my most personal. They've not changed as much as it may seem, but my ability at splicing and editing sprites has improved since I started out.
@fe-oc-week Day 1: Introductions
Fae is often my My Unit / Byleth OC, with the Crest of Flames and the child of Geralt (intentional misspelling), but more lately I've been exploring them through a Student AU where they have a stronger connection to their culture (the Oghma people), they have polyamorous parents, and their genderfluid brother Zoran; not to mention their Major Crest of Cethleann.
It's AU's galore for this oc. Canon-compliant, existing in the background of timelines that more strongly feature friends' oc's, magical and monstrous, modern and indulgent.
I haven't yet properly written for them and my My Unit / Shez OC Avery, but I think of them, and speak of them with friends.
All of Fae's au's feature Claude, Hilda and Lorenz however, the quartet often referred to by people who know me as my ot4 (no other qualifiers needed) (an ot5 now with Avery, when he's around). I also like featuring a strong relationship - friendship or familial (cousins) between Fae and Linhardt when there's room for it.
As a student, they would start in the Golden Deer House, and would be strongly inclined to VW. Despite being Adrestian by birth, Fae probably would only otherwise recover from their post-war heartaches in AM.
I'll save more for Relationships and Backstory day.
Here's some extra content:
Instruct
Bad: Sorry. Could you explain it again?
Critique: Thanks. I’ll add it to a list.
Console: I appreciate that.
Great: You know? This is fun.
Great: Now this I’ll remember.
Perfect: Your guidance goes a long way.
Praise: Don’t worry about saying all that.
Favorite Tea: Honeyed-Fruit Blend, Almyran Pine Needles, Rose Petal Blend
Subject Strength: Sword, Authority, Faith
Subject Weakness: Flying, Horseback, Bow
Budding Talent: Reason
Lost Items:
Beaded Mittens. Description: Worn mittens with sheep beaded on the palms. They probably belong to someone who is used to hand-me-downs.
Cloth Swimming Bonnet. Description: A cloth bonnet to prevent one’s hair from tangling. It probably belongs to someone who is fond of swimming.
Used Notebook. Description: A notebook full of lists, like recipes and books to read. It probably belongs to someone who is prone to forgetting details.
Gifts: Gemstone Beads, Watering Can, Ceremonial Sword
.
Dining Hall:
Favorite Dish: Sweet and Salty whitefish Sauté
Disliked Dish: Fish Sandwich
.
Seminar:
Primary: Authority
Secondary: Faith
A seminar on practical etiquette for celebrating cultural diversity across Fodlan and beyond.
I argue it isn't entirely unreasonable based on the description of Mercedes' seminar, "A seminar on connecting with other people and helping them explore how using magic best suit them personally." I'm sure from Goneril, to Gautier, to Enbarr, there's enough difference to discuss politics at a commoner's level and have some fun with religious holidays, etc. Give me Petra and Sylvain as active members of the class and Dedue and Ferdinand as quiet observers mechanically; and Fae needing to shout over the class leaders when this inevitably backfires narratively.
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0dde11eth · 2 years ago
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Jaskier: I could sure go for a brisket sandwich
Geralt: we are in the middle of nowhere
Jaskier: I know. I have one in my purse
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pippinoftheshire · 6 months ago
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I HAVE to know more about Cafe Kaer Morhen ajdghakagsjsl
I live to serve, @justabigoldnerd <3
----
January 17th
“Will you go to a party with me?” asks Jaskier. He’s leaning on the counter, watching Geralt cleaning up for the day. “It’s not a massive one- it’s just up the road, in the Tavern.”
“No,” says Geralt.
January 27th
“Don’t you ever dream of the world?” Jaskier asks as he taps his fingers along to the sound of the rain. “About getting out of here and doing something? … something incredible?”
“No,” says Geralt, mouth quirking into a crooked smile as he passes Jaskier a mug of coffee. “I prefer to be somewhere familiar. Small.”
“And full of friends!” Jaskier cheers, flinging himself at the taller man and scrambling up onto his back. “Admit it! You like having me around!”
“What the fuck, Jaskier,” grunts Geralt, staggering a little under his weight. Jaskier can hear the smile creeping into his voice. He clings on when Geralt shakes himself like a wet dog, a giggle bursting out of his lips as he hangs on with all his might.
“I’m part octopus, you know,” he tells Geralt sweetly, hiding a smug smile in that white hair.
Geralt sighs good-naturedly. “Of course you are…”
February 5th
“It’s the last month of winter!” Jaskier cheers as he bounds into the café one chilly morning, a paisley scarf wrapped firmly about his throat up to his chin. “It feel like years since I’ve seen the sun. Oooh! We should plan a party! Celebrate the return of summer! I’m sure Essi would let us have it at the tavern, maybe we could-“
“Hello to you too,” says Geralt dryly. “Remember to breathe.”
Jaskier huffs. “Rude.”
He is slightly out of breath, though, but he is certainly not going to tell Geralt that.
February 15th
“Geraaaalt,” whines Jaskier as he flopps into a seat at the counter. “I need something containing lethal amounts of caffeine.”
Geralt shoots him a concerned look from the sandwich iron. “What’s wrong?”
“The bane of my fucking existence managed to get into the lists at the music festival…” grouses Jaskier sourly. He spins a spare coin on the wood of the counter, scowling. “Now I’m going to have to look into his smug face and fucking smile at him all evening, ugh.”
Geralt huffs a laugh, before providing Jaskier with a mug of what he’s pretty sure is a triple-shot espresso, creamy with a dash of milk. “Who is this man?”
“Valdo Marx. He’s an old nemesis from collage…” Jaskier’s brain supplies him with a wonderful idea, and he shoots upright like a fireplace poker. “Oh! You could come with me to the festival! Then I really could ignore him!”
“No,” says Geralt. “I’m not your buffer.”
“Oh, pleeeeease, Geralt?” Jaskier rounds his eyes in hope. “I’ll owe you. Big time.”
“No.”
Jaskier sulks.
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greenbergsays · 1 year ago
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I had to explain the plot of House of Dragon to my sister (despite having never seen the show for myself--genuinely I learned it all from clips on Tik Tok) because we were talking about Matt Smith and my sister's never watched GoT or HoD
But that's not the point of this post
The point of this post is after I finished explaining at least half of Daemon's badassery, I showed her the "say it" clip where ole dude calls Rhaenyra's kids bastards
and after she's done watching that clip, my sister says, "I wouldn't mind being sandwiched between him and Legolas."
and honestly, fam, that's a threesome line-up for the ages. arguably, the only way it could be better is if we added Geralt in there somewhere
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