#genuinely waiting for the day traveller and xiao make out

[cynicalmusings]

o…okay…

[ventismacchiato]

38 just playing the part — making it big !

scaramouche x g!n reader

ACT FOUR

⇢ ˗ˏˋ time skip of four years ࿐ྂ

˗ˏˋ headcanons ´ˎ˗

✰ you and scara graduated two years ago at the top of your university, as expected, and have been in the industry for two years since then; age 23

✰ you’ve been dating for almost five years, since your sophomore year in college, and it’s been just as sweet as the first day you kissed him

✰ the deal was that scaramouche needed to land a major role in his first year or else he’d be forced to go to business school by his mother. miss lisa hooked you both up with jean, a well known manager, and you both snuck into the industry easily

✰ it started off with you two playing side characters in different shows and wasn’t until you both landed a movie together as both MCs that everyone’s eyes landed on you

✰ fans fell in love with your chemistry on screen and good looks to match, shipping your characters and even you two off set

✰ you send him tiktok edits of himself all the time like he’s so hot you can’t help it and fans always expose him when they catch him liking edits of you as well

✰ jean had advised you to keep your relationship a secret in the beginning just as precaution. when you both got nominated for best upcoming actors was when you kissed on stage and broke the internet and soft launched it. you guys started working more shows and movies together because directors loved that your chemistry was genuine

✰ scara preferred to do horror related projects, he had a liking for all the gore and excitement. (ex: all of us are dead, sweet home, scream) but he got cast in a lot of romance after going public with your relationship since you both became the youngest it couple…he doesn’t mind since it’s with you but put the man in some horror pls!

✰ ei never attended any premieres or events until two years later when her company’s clothes were featured in a movie premiere and she and scara reconciled but its still a bit awkward

✰ she did meet you though and offered you a model contract, scara had to drag you away from her

✰ miss lisa attends every single premiere you guys have and you both always send her vip tickets, she’s so so proud of you two

✰ you guys did move in together but are rarely home since you always have to travel for work

✰ you guys are engaged!! 💍

✰ you both got your friends to help with the proposal and when they found out you guys planned it on the same day they let you guys both propose to eachother. he pulled out the ring first which caused you to laugh and pull out yours

✰ working as an actor means you both travel a lot, so there’s not much time to plan a wedding. you guys are waiting to land a role in a nice scenic country you both like where your friends can fly in to have a small wedding 🤞

˗ˏˋ headcanons ´ˎ˗

✰ xiaoaether were the first couple to get married, they tied knot the moment they were out of college. you were part of aether’s groom party and scara was a part of xiao’s

✰ aether used his degree for a year, traveling and doing cartography work and posted travel vlogs with his sister to keep his friends updated and for xiao while they were apart. an agency reached out and scouted him to be a model so he eventually quit his former job to become one

✰ xiao completed his comp sci degree but enjoys being a dancer more, used his minor to become a backup dancer for idols and eventually gets promoted to becoming a choreographer. started off as venti’s backup dancer

✰ xiao goes viral every other week as that one sexy backup dancer

✰ xiao makes more than enough being an idol choreographer so aether could be a house husband if he really wanted but he likes to work as a model since it lets him travel

✰ they have two cats, a black and white one cus pets are better than kids 🪦

˗ˏˋ headcanons ´ˎ˗

✰ heizou opened a detective agency out of graduation and became top detective in the country

✰ kazuha submitted a song he produced and wrote with venti with his application and now works at Windblume with him

✰ writes half his lyrics about his love for heizou like he’s that type of bf

✰ kazuha hasn’t proposed yet because of his and heizou’s insane work schedules and he’s trying to perfect the way he’s going to do it. it’s hard to plan a secret proposal when your boyfriend is a renowned detective !!

✰ it’s the reason every surprise party kazuha has tried to throw fails miserably, heizou always finds out…

✰ kazuha has a following cus he’s sexy and everyone goes crazy over how sweet he is to heizou. he isn’t an idol but people still go crazy for him.

✰ sometimes he does livestreams and heizou will pop up and kazuha will go full heart eyes

✰ ‘kazuha being down bad for ten minutes’ compilations

✰ heizou sends edits of kazuha that fans make to kazu every morning and comments the most unhinged things on all of them he just like me fr

˗ˏˋ headcanons ´ˎ˗

✰ as promised, childe takes over the family company as ceo. his father was a more strict ceo so the employees were happy to work for someone so cheerful

✰ childe and kaeya both wanted a grand wedding and that’s exactly what they did, hosting it a few months after xiaoae’s wedding

✰ kaeya beat childe to proposing though

✰ kaeya doesn’t have to work a day in his life if he honestly doesn’t want to due to how much childe makes and that’s exactly what he does

✰ childe sponsors half the movies you and scara act in because he can and loves to see scara happy and the director always has him in a shot, usually someone doing a handstand in the background but childe loves it

✰ childe went viral after being on the top ten hottest ceo lists and after people found out he was besties with scaramouche

✰ scara does shout him out in a speech during an award show, thanking him for pushing him out of his comfort zone and childe starts bawling; it becomes a meme

˗ˏˋ headcanons ´ˎ˗

✰ albedo came out as venti’s partner on accident after he was spotted in a livestream and venti forgot to turn the camera off before he kissed albedo

✰ the fans went crazy cus albedo is sexy and now they have someone else to thirst over too

✰ albedo goes on to become a biochemist like he planned but he also paints all of venti’s album art in his free time. secretly owns a fan account to post venti fanart

✰ albedo asexual cus that’s hot

✰ yes that’s him and venti in the header me n who

✰ venti is his muse and he’s venti’s muse

✰ venti gets scouted and becomes a popular soloist idol and has the busiest work schedule along with you and scara

✰ xiao choreographs most of his stages and is one of his frequent backup dancers, he drives xiao insane most of the time

✰ has the best music fr and goes viral every other day, drinks on lives and always had a new dating rumor going on before ppl found out about albedo; his pr team is in shambles

✰ does soundtracks for most of the movies and shows you and scara are in and everyone loves how you guys are actually friends aside from working with each other #goals

✰ also not married, mainly because venti is way too busy so they’re probably the last couple in the group to tie the knot

˗ˏˋ headcanons ´ˎ˗

✰ lumine gets scouted by the same company as aether because they both had the same major and did vlogs together

✰ tries to host get togethers for the gang at least once a month and they usually manage to succeed

✰ got married a week after xiaoae, they were best friends to lovers fr like everyone knew it would eventually happen and yes everyone had a bet

✰ hu tao becomes an autopsy technician like she studied for and opens a clinic

✰ we love a women in stem #steminist

✰ lumine has to live with the taxidermy hu tao insists on purchasing as decor for their home …

✰ the only couple that actually doesn’t have to do long distance as frequently because lumine refuses to travel so she can stay with hu tao

✰ wlw goals fr

just playing the part !

masterlist — prev | next

synopsis: you and scaramouche are both drama majors and have been at each other’s throats vying for the same lead roles since high school. but when you’re both cast as each other’s love interest in your second year you’re forced to be civil with your academic rival and see him in a new light. are his feelings for you true or is he just playing the part?

author’s notes: hope you guys liked it this is my brainrot for everyone in the future and i had a final today while i was sick it was HELL COLLEGE IS A SCAM

taglist—CLOSED: @monochromaticelliot @kaedear @stxrgxzxr @shirmxie @elakari @lacy-lady @linn-a-a @one-offmind @kithewanderingme @quepasoash @leathernourishingshoepolish @mangobee @lxry-chxn @dameofthorns @kunihaver @kythe1a @elysiasbae @hikaru-exe @tokkishouse @raiihoshii @cherrybeomgyu @kunikuzushiit @thenightsflower @lilneps @goodthingimsam @lovelyiez @euhla @beriiov @abvolat @kittycasie @b0bafl0wer @bubblyclouds @atlatcaheart @artssleepy @baelloraa @tartagli-yuh @satowaluverr @hangesextra @scaranaris-lil-niko @caffinatedcoma @wheneverthesunrise @hajimeseyo @itsyourgirlria @hyunrei @redactedhimbo @caliginous-skies @vinskyspuff @miissfortune @criminalinthemaking @scaramouches-girlfriend @scrmgf [1/3]

[lemonykoo]

talk to me - xiao

Pairing: Xiao x Reader

Genre: Fluff!! Gender neutral reader. Established relationship.

Word Count: 780+

Notes: Xiao isn’t much of a talker, and that’ll probably never change. But, you always make up for the silence. And, contrary to what everyone thinks, it’s something he actually looks forward to at the end of the day.

Truth be told, Xiao did enjoy the peace and quiet. He enjoyed quiet evenings to himself on the balcony of Wangshu Inn, silent walks to take in Liyue’s beautiful landscape, but there was one thing he enjoyed a lot more than those moments.

“So,” you started speaking again once you had taken another sip of your drink to clear your throat. “While you were gone, I finished that book while I was reading, so I started another one!” You sat your chopsticks down, your plate still practically full while your lover’s was almost finished. His eyes were trained on you while you spoke, following every moment of your hands as you dramatically flung them about, watching how your facial expressions conveyed every emotion you were feeling with every word you spoke, admiring how excited you were to catch him up on what you thought he missed while he was away protecting Liyue last week. He had just returned around half an hour ago and as per tradition (or, what was seemed to be tradition now), you invited him to join you while you ate.

Yes, it was these very moments that Xiao looked forward to the most. Half of what you had to tell him was already old news for him. He knew you had already started another book since he’d check up on you at night while you slept during his departure. It’d be a quick visit, just enough for him to make sure you were okay before he returned to his duties. And even during the day, he wouldn’t be too far away from you when you ventured out on walks around Liyue, ensuring your travels were safe and peaceful. He knew all about your friend’s run-in with a ruin guard, or how you found the prettiest seashells during a midnight stroll on the beach.

But it didn’t matter if Xiao already knew what you were telling him as you neglected your lunch. Seeing how excited you would get to tell him all about your week was enough to ease the pain of the karmic debt he was cursed with. He enjoyed listening to you talk about your feelings and share the most personal thoughts you had.

“Anyways,” you finished, picking your chopsticks back up to begin to pick at your lunch once more. Xiao was already done, but he would wait for you to finish before he left you. “Sorry, that was probably a lot.” A light blush painted your cheeks a faint pink as you started to eat once more.

It was a lot. But that was the best part to him. To be able to sit there in Wangshu Inn with you, alone, away from any prying eyes as you told him all about your week- that was everything he needed and much, much more. He understood what you were implying – you talked too much, while he never spoke a single word – and that you felt bad. “No,” he countered, leaning forward a bit on the table you shared. “Tell me more.”

The smile you’d gain from those three words alone was enough to grant the adeptus all the peace he’d need for the rest of his life. You knew he wouldn’t lie just to flatter you – you found that out when you first started talking to him. Sometimes, it was hard to get past his harsh honesty when he was annoyed or dissatisfied. So, at times like this, when he’d request that you tell him every detail he missed while he was gone, or when his first words to you upon his arrival would be “How was your week?” or “What did you do while I was gone?”, you knew he genuinely wanted to hear more from you. This was a stark contrast to how he had been a couple years ago when you two first met, since back then he deemed humans as a waste of his time. Back then, he wouldn’t give you the time of day, but now you were his favorite part of every second he was alive.

Xiao would love to hear you voice every thought that came into your head at all hours of the day. He would love nothing more than to lay on the roof of Wangshu Inn and star gaze as you rambled about topics he didn’t even know about. The intimacy of you sharing your deepest thoughts and opinions was so validating for him. You trusted him, you loved him, and you didn’t care if he didn’t find his own life that interesting to talk about. So, please, don’t feel bad for doing all the talking when you two are together, because to him that was exactly what he needed.

[hulhudhonado]

To Date Like A Mortal

Note: Zhongli just trying to fit in to a normal life by trying to get into the dating pool lol. I think the concept has a lot of potential. Am I going to execute it properly? Probably not but it's still fun to write about. Not my best work but I wanted to get this out since it's been in my drafts for a while. Also I know Zhongli looks very young but I genuinely headcanon that Zhongli looks a lot older than Hoyoverse depicts him. No way he is going to be pretending he is in his 20's when he talks like that. Anyway enjoy!

CW: None

HC: Reader is gender-neutral, does not have a vision and is around their late 30's.

Characters: Zhongli, Hu Tao, Mentions Childe, Traveller and Xiao

"Have you ever thought about going on a date, Mr.Zhongli?" Hu Tao asked innocently. Zhongli looked up from the cup of tea in his hands and raised an eyebrow at her. "May I ask why you're bringing this up?" Hu Tao shrugged, her fingers circling the rim of her cup playfully, refusing to look him in the eyes. "Curiosity. I know some people don't care about things like that but you never even mentioned whether you wanted to meet others in a romantic setting."

"I see." Zhongli hummed to himself, sipping from the cup of tea. He just began his mortal life and now that the entirety of Liyue was safely in the hands of its people he didn't have to worry anymore. Now he was free to continue his life as a mortal.

He was not any type of mortal of course. After resigning from being Morax he has now taken the form of Zhongli, a consultant at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlour. There were times he doubted whether his new persona was believable to others or not since he had never done something like this in the thousands of years he was alive. This was also set in stone when he experienced the shopping spree with the Traveler, realizing that even though he was the one that had created Mora, he didn't know how to use it in a traditional sense. He closed his eyes, lost in thought. Going on a date would make his mortal life more convincing. A cough was heard, forcing him to open his eyes. Hu Tao curiously looked at him, eagerly waiting for an answer.

"Well?" She asked. Zhongli saw a glistening of mischievous light bounce in her eyes. He figured she was up to something but continued to answer her truthfully. "I have never actually thought about it since I had other matters to focus on. However, now that you have mentioned it, I think I wouldn't mind going on a date."

Hu Tao slammed her hands on the table, standing up in the process. Her sudden movements dangerously tipped her cup of tea over the edge of the table which Zhongli caught without a second thought. "Well, I have just the offer for you!" She exclaimed excitedly. Her eyes were on fire at this point and Zhongli wondered if he had walked into a trap.

---

You were shocked to find out how quickly your friend was able to set up a blind date for you. When you broke up with your long-time partner, you began isolating yourself and only focusing your time working as a secretary in Liyue Qinxing without a break. It had got to the point where you only woke up just to head to work and you were not surprised when you're co-workers began to worry about it.

"You need to rest! You have bags under your eyes!" She exclaimed, worriedly looking at your features getting worse and worse as the days go by. You let out a light laugh, which turned into a sob as you dropped your head onto your desk in despair.

"How can I rest? The minute I stop working all I can think about how miserable I am." You chuckled. Your friend sighed, placing her hands on your shoulder, and shaking you vigorously.

"IT HAS BEEN ALMOST AN YEAR! YOU NEED TO GET OVER IT!" You winced at how loud she yelled at you. You straightened yourself up as she took her hands off your shoulders, face-palming instead. "Look the easiest way to get over an ex is to find other things to do, and since you are not planning on doing any new hobbies anytime soon," She paused, glaring at the stack of papers you were drowning yourself with before continuing ", I suggest you try to go on a blind date instead. You know, meet someone new!" She proclaimed, clasping her hands in excitement.

You frown. " I don't know about this… even when I was dating before they said my standards were something no normal person could handle. Am I ever going to find someone who can deal with this?" You asked, motioning to yourself. Your friend gave you a smirk, taking a note pad out of thin air. "Just tell me your preferences and I'll do my magic."

Quite frankly you just wanted to get your friend off your back and go back to doing your work. So jokingly you told her the most bizarre unrealistic standards known to man. However, when she handed you a note with a date and time for your blind date all you could stare at was the slip dumbfounded.

"Huh? What?" You asked confused. She puffed her chest proudly, looking down at you as you sat at your desk gripping the paper in awe. "I have my ways." She laughed. You raised an eyebrow. "Were they illegal?"

She shrugged, still looking satisfied. "Not really. Just made a deal with someone else. Her usual tactics are just as crazy, so I was able to convince her to help me find your 'dream partner." You looked at the slip and back at your friend with a worried gaze. "Am I going to meet someone weird?" She grinned at you mischievously. "Don't worry. I heard he fits the bill perfectly." You gulped nervously, looking down at the handwriting on the piece of paper.

You dug your own grave, haven't you?

---

You did not expect to be so nervous, especially at your age. You felt a teen again, nervously practicing in front of the mirror trying to figure out the best look for your "first blind date". You lost count of the number of times you checked yourself out in the mirror. Your eyebags were still heavily visible and your skin was dry due to the heavy stress. At least your outfit looked clean and ironed for once.

You tried to calm yourself down, taking deep breaths every few seconds you feel your heart begin to race again. It didn't help how your friend hyped up this man you were allegedly going out on a date with. "I mean he can't be THAT incredible, right?" You nervously laughed to yourself, trying to convince yourself that the person you were going to meet was probably just an average joe. "There is no such person who would fit those standards. I made up half of the stuff in the list anyway." You kept mumbling to yourself, beginning to make your way toward the date location.

Oh, how wrong you were. When you reached the restaurant you did not expect to see Zhongli. You had done business with him before and very recently you had worked alongside him following the death of Morax. Now here you were, on a date with him. You gulped, now more nervous than ever. Zhongli was not only known for his knowledge but he was constantly described as an extremely beautiful man. You were able to ignore those comments while you both were strictly doing business.

Now you sat in front of him, as he ordered drinks for the table. You were tongue twisted, unsure of how to begin a conversation related to the date. Unbeknownst to you, Zhongli was also nervous. He was confident at the beginning, he had been living for thousand years, surely a date would have been nothing to him? However, now that he sat in front of you he was also unsure of how 'human' he was supposed to act. He had met you before and you were a very serious individual. While doing work you both had kept a certain distance to make sure it was all professional but now that barrier was gone what was the limit? Zhongli began to realize he had never once had to worry about that before. Who knew being human would be so complicated.

You finally decided to build up some courage and speak first. "So, have you done something like this before?" Zhongli thought about it, he had meals like this with Childe before, would that be considered the same thing? " I have done something similar before…" You curse yourself for asking. 'He must be a professional. He must have gone out with multiple people before!' You thought. He continued to speak. "But this is my first time going on a 'blind date', as they say, it. " He finished, taking a sip from the tea before he ended up saying more.

"Haha, well I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Mr. Zhongli." He shook his head. "Zhongli is just fine." You smiled at him. "Ah I see, I'll keep that in mind." You wanted to curl up and die.

"Well, we only met a couple of times before, so let's just get to know each other for now. If it isn't too rude to ask, how old are you?" You continued. Zhongli stayed quiet and you began to wonder if it was a rude question to ask. You were almost about to take it back before he answered. " I turned ..50 this year.." He said, a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

Zhongli was slightly agitated, was that a believable answer? He was technically 6000 years old but he can't say that. He also knew that with all the talking he has been doing to the people in Liyue Harbour it was not going to be possible for him to be less than his 30s but with your reaction, he wondered if he should have said he was younger. "But you look so young? I didn't expect you to be in your 50's. I thought you were in your late 30's like me." You laughed a bit, relieved he didn't get offended. Zhongli noted that he should make his appearance more believable in the future.

"Am I too old to be your date then?" He asked, wondering if this was the end of it. You shook your head and smiled at him. " No worries, we both are adults. I do not mind the age gap." You were honestly glad he was older, it would have hurt your self-esteem if someone as smart as him was younger than you. "Well since you are older, then do you have kids? "

"Would having them be a problem?" He questioned. "No not really, I don't plan on having my own but I don't mind if my future partners had any." You answer, looking at him in the eyes. Zhongli looked back at you, trying to see if your eyes reflected the right answer. Now that he looked closely at you, it seemed that your eyes were the most expressive. It showed how earnest you were to hear his answers. He didn't want to disappoint you. He remembered Xiao, would he be considered his child? He cared for him like a parent does but he wasn't so certain due to how 'official' Xiao acts around him. Maybe he would fix that in the future.

"I do but he is now grown, so you won't have to worry about looking after any children." He answered, sipping his tea once more. He looked down at his cup, it was empty and the food had not even arrived. He thought the more you both talked the easier it would get but it was making him even more nervous. The more he answered your questions and seemed to get a positive response, the more his hopes went a bit higher. If he messed up now the disappointment was going to be harsh on him. Sure he was doing well but at what point would he say something which would end it all? He didn't expect himself to be so unsure. He poured himself another cup of tea.

You were also a nervous wreck. It felt like this entire time you were asking all the questions. Was he not interested in getting to know you? Your thoughts were going in spirals, trying to figure out what to ask next. You watched him pour another cup of tea for himself and put the cup up to his lips. If his face didn't show how elegant he was his actions did. It's as if he was made in the image of an archon.

---

His cup was empty again and he began to realize how silent it had become. He looked at your unchanging face, your eyes showed that you seemed to be lost in thought while you stared at him. It clicked that so far you were the only one asking questions so far. He placed the cup down on the table, letting out a little cough into his hands to get your attention. You snap back into reality, watching as his golden eyes stared at you and you braced yourself for what he planned on saying. "What do you do in your free time?"

The worst thing he could have asked. You had been making sure not to make any time for yourself these days. You had tried to fill your head with working for almost a year now. Most tasks you did before always involved your ex and it got to the point where if you tried to do it by yourself, you felt empty. You stopped most of your hobbies due to this and now you began to realize that you had become an empty shell of a person.

You didn't want to bring up your ex during a date so you went the safest route. "I've been so busy these days, I don't have much free time for myself. " You gave him a weak smile, your eyes shutting in the process. Zhongli frowned, he couldn't tell what you were feeling. You don't know if your façade was believable but Zhongli took the bait.

"I see, that's a shame. I do understand, I was working constantly my whole life but recently it all seemed to have calmed down and now I can able to enjoy a cup of tea in tranquility after such a long time." He looked at your cup, it also remained remained empty. He took the teapot, filled your cup, and gently pushed it toward you. "I hope you find peace soon, it is no fun to be overworked." He gently smiled at you. You felt immediately soothed by the gesture. It seemed you had been overworking yourself since such a small act of kindness calmed you down in an instant.

"You must have had it hard." You say, gently taking the cup of tea and putting it to your lips. Zhongli shook his head. "I had friends to help me out when things became difficult. Even recently I had help from a certain traveler and my job was done quite fast because of them. I have to thank them for giving me time to leisure around. You should surround yourself with people like that too. " You mentally wrote down a note to thank your friend for setting you up with such a stunning man. You looked up at him from your tea, curiously. "May I ask what you do in your free time?" Zhongli smiled at you once more. "I go sightseeing around Liyue. I recently got an invitation to join the Pearl Galley on board."

You look at him in awe. "Must be nice." You mumble. As Zhongli tried to speak, steaming plates of food were placed on the table. You both looked at the waiter who glanced at you both apologetically. "I am so sorry for the delay! Enjoy your food. This one is on the house." Zhongli had realized that the waiters were taking long. He watched them peak out the kitchen, whispering amongst themselves since their regular customer was on a date for the first time. He was glad you were oblivious to their gossip. The waiter sneaked a glance at Zhongli, winking at him discreetly. It seemed Zhongli didn't have to worry about how to properly pay today.

---

You underestimated how hungry you were because the date was cut short due to how fast you had finished your meal. You hoped Zhongli would not think of you as a glutton but he stayed quiet during the meal. You were surprised at how carefully he had eaten his meal, almost as if he was studying the food while he ate. You wondered if he was a food enthusiast.

But you weren't sure you could ask him about it next time. You couldn't tell if the date went well. Did he even want to go on another date? Did you fail your first blind date? You began to sulk, trying to convince yourself it was for the best and that maybe you were not cut out for love. However, your thoughts were once again stopped by the sound of a cough.

You turned to look at him and when you faced him properly he began to speak once more. "About my invitation to the Pearl Galley…" He took out the invitation, handing it to you. You looked down at the contents written on it, skimming through it and stopping at the final line written in bold italics at the bottom of the card.

"Every guest with an invitation has the opportunity to bring one extra guest with them on board."

Zhongli continued to speak. "I was wondering if you could join me on board. That is if you are free on that date." Your eyes darted up at him and he was certain he saw stars dancing in your eyes. "I am definitely free on that date!" You say almost in a hurry. He was asking you on another date! You couldn't let this chance slip by.

He smiled at your enthusiasm, gently taking your hands into his. You could feel your heart burst. "It's a date then." He whispered. You couldn't wait.

[italeean]

Hi, it's me again lol, I wanted to participate in your drabble event!! Would you mind writing lee aether with lers xiao and kazuha (these are my comfort characters) and I recently played aether and fell in love with him. The sentence "We’re gonna get you!" seems cool ^^

A/N: WAAAAAAHH ANONNN 🥺 I can't thank you enough for this prompt. A character I kin (Xiao) and two comfort characters?? I'm ascendinggg 💘 Anyway, the drabble came out a bit longer (I really had my fun with it lol) but I like the result, so I hope you do too. Buona lettura (Have a nice reading) 💚🤍❤️ Also, since you said 'it's me again', please use an emoji or something like that to sign yourself so it'll be easier for me to understand who I'm talking to 😅🌸 (I think I know who you are but I'm not sure, sorryyy)

Drabble Event Day 6

Aether's legs were moving as quick as they could through the Chinjou Forest, his breath was uneven and his heart was racing. Only one thought was echoing in his head. Run. A phrase resonated in the deep woods. "We're gonna get you..."

One moment he was hanging out with his friends in the inazuman forest, and the other he was being chased by the same people who were laughing along with him a couple of seconds earlier. And all of that just because of a playful poke! Weren't they exaggerating a bit?

He didn't have time to complain about whether their reaction was fair or not, he had to focus only on dashing through the trees and not get caught. But what chances did he have against a Yaksha and a samurai who knew that island better than the back of his hand?

Just when he was realizing who his ... were, a shadow jumped down from a tree and grabbed him by his shoulders, taking advantage of the surprise effect to pin him down to the ground. "I got you!" Kazuha said softly, winking at the blond and sticking his tongue out playfully.

Not even a second after, Xiao reached the two of them and straddled Aether, sitting on his knees to prevent him from kicking. He wasn't even trying to keep his grouchy attitude, for once he was smiling playfully while looking down at the poor Traveler. "So, what was that stunt you pulled earlier?" He asked while cracking his knuckles.

The blond gulped loudly and stuttered, trying to talk his way out of that predicament. "It... it was nothing serious... I j-just wanted to see you smile..!" To be honest, he had considered the chance that they would try to get him back, but he had also decided that it would've been worth it.

"That's really sweet of you to say," the wanderer cooed "we'll make sure to return the favor tenfolds." He stated while gesturing to the shorter guy to wait a second before striking. Then he brought his hands above Aether's tummy and wiggled his fingers without actually touching him.

"Aeeehehehe wahait Kazuhahahaaa thihis is unfahahair..!" The Traveler whined, giggling already. "Why are you giggling already? Can't you see that he isn't even tickling you yet?" Xiao asked directly, genuinely confused by his friend's behavior. However, the blond thought he was just teasing him, so he just arched his back and kept laughing with a faint blush on his cheeks.

"That's how sensitive he is to a gentle touch." Kazuha explained, ignoring the distressed whine coming from the adventurer "The mere sight of some wiggling fingers makes his face become as red as maple leaves in autumn. Isn't that right, Giggles?"

"Noooooohoho" the poor guy couldn't do anything but blush even harder and squeeze his eyes shut, hoping to find some sort of relief in not seeing those sneaky fingers anymore. "Not a good move for such an experienced warrior like you..." the white-haired guy commented feigning seriousness while nodding at the Yaksha "If you stay like that, you'll never know when your opponent will strike." He said with a natural tone, and at the end of the sentence twenty fingers descended on the Traveler's tummy and sides, poking, caressing and digging in the soft skin.

"Wha- nahahahahaha Ihihi wahasn't reheheadyyy ehehehehe" the yellow-eyed guy protested, only to be told that a surprise attack wasn't supposed to be announced. Kazuha was really in a mood that day, he thought.

"What's wrong, huh? Can't take what you dish out?" Xiao teased while tickling his sides, ribs and the v-line of his hips, making him buck them in a futile attempt to make him fall. "Serves you right for poking me earlier..!" He scoffed in fake anger, although the thought of the squeak he had made was still making him blush a little.

"Yohohour ehexpressiohohons ahahand squeahahahals wehere wohohorth ihihit!!" Aether said in a moment of sudden boldness, making the other two gasp. "Well, there's only a way to find out if they were really worth it." Kazuha stated while moving his hands to stretch the skin around his friend's belly button.

The Yaksha understood immediately and unleashed his tickly wrath on Aether's death spot, making him go ballistic immediately. "WAAAAHHAHAHAHAHA NAHAHAT THEHEHEHEREHEHE NOHOHOHOHO" The blond begged in vain.

The shorter guy completely ignored him. He just kept tracing the rim of the navel before dipping a finger in, wiggling his finger inside, giving quick pokes and scratch delicately at the walls as if he was trying to clean them.

For someone as ticklish as Aether, it was way too much to handle. "AAAAAAAAHHHAHAHAHA PLEHEAHAHAHSE STAHAHAHAHAHAP IHIHIT IHIHI CAHAHAN'T TAHAHAHAKEHE IHIHIT" Hearing him beg, his friends immediately let him up and helped him lean against a tree to recover from all that laughing.

"Thahat was mean... all ohof that for a lihittle poke..." the Traveler complained. "You like it and we all know it." Kazuha stated calmly as he booped his friend's nose, making him become more red than a jueyun chili.

"Aaaahh..!" The adventurer whined while hiding his face behind his hands, "Your squeals were really cute though... I don't regret anything..!"

"HAH?! As if, Yakshas don't squeal..." Xiao huffed, turning around to hide the light shade of pink that was painting his cheeks. The Traveler smirked to himself, observing his friend's ears change color, then he whispered to the wanderer "He's gonna be next, right?"

Only to see no one by his side. As soon as he realized that the white-haired guy was nowhere to be found, he heard a surprised scream, a little thump and some high-pitched giggles.

It was going to be a long day.

[marimqo]

[Rough Draft] Yandere Xiao

/Part 1/

Concept/Content: Soft Noncon/Dubcon;

—Reader holds a vision or at least has some kind of fighting ability like the traveler-not weak mortal; Reader could possibly be older than normal human beings. Reader’s name is Mao - pls imagine you got reincarnated as someone named Mao ;;

—No OOC (at least that is what I attempted to do);

—TW Soft hostage/kidnapped; manipulation; smut (might contain heavy smut for the next possible parts too); Obsession and Possessiveness; stalking

-Reader knows Xiao, they are familiar with each other before Xiao reveals his dark desire.

A/n: Rough draft posts means I haven’t really reread and edited them thoroughly; these are just quick rough writing I wrote down to not forget.

I also don’t enjoy putting blank space or y/n in a writing paragraph so I randomly name us Mao. Please bear with me 🐟

Xiao’s burning sensation about you was getting unpleasantly overbearing. He didn’t understand this mortal-like feeling and it kept frustrating him these current days. He wondered what these feelings could have been as he had seemed to lose all his self-control while the feeling kept getting stronger and more intense. He knew he shouldn’t do whatever insane ideas that his mind had been yelling him to do, but it was genuinely getting harder and harder to resist the temptation as days gone by. At some points, he had come to conclusion that this could very well be his karmic debt messing with his head, nevertheless, this was something he has never dealt with before and he really didn’t know how to handle it right. Unfortunately, before Xiao could even figure his mind out, he had already been killing every single being that approach his beloved a little too close —without you knowing, of course.

He could not stop himself, he could not handle this enragement that kept on appearing and lingering inside him, telling him to brutally slaughter those who get too close to you. He wanted you for all himself only, no one deserved to get close to you except him. He might have let it slides if it was just some small talk and meaningless human’s chitchat —for your mental well-being, of course. However, if there was a connection that could possibly be formed and bonded just a tiny bit deeper than he allowed it to be, he would absolutely devour the other person.

Xiao was sort of a distant psycho, he didn’t want to let you know about his obsessive side unless he had no other options left. He would occasionally affect and manipulate your surrounding occurrences and events to make sure everything was under his control, and that you would not be, for even a second, out of his sight. Xiao preferred to play innocent and distant in front of you. So you would think he was harmless, that he would not do anything maniac and overboard. He remained calm and mature in front of you most of the time to create a perfect impression. Little do you know, behind his mask, there was blood everywhere.

However, none of that mattered anymore, because here you are, influenced under his touch, moaning uncontrollably even though you tried so hard to hold it in. He felt completely dazed and high as if he was heavily drunk and could pass out any minute because of this overwhelming thrilling sensation, this was too good to be true, it felt like his heart was about to explode any second now. He was getting so lost in lust that he was already willing to let his mind executed exactly the insane ideas he had been keeping for himself for gods knew how long.

He didn’t bother remember why he was able to get himself into this situation with you in the first place anymore, it was not like he was complaining. You said it was a silly mistake and you didn’t really want this but he didn’t care, he saw the opportunity and took it. When would be the next time you become as vulnerable as this again? He had had enough of waiting and stalking you just to wait for the right time to lure you into his embrace once and for all. But now, look at this golden opportunity gifted by the celestia, he could not let it go. You were heavily influenced by the drug effects and is being super sensual and heated, you bought the wrong item and tested it on yourself recklessly, how careless of you, right?

Xiao walked in right the moment the effect was spreading and you, as helpless and it made you became, immediately ran over to him to steal a kiss. You wrapped your hand around his neck and back and pulled him in for a needy kiss. As the effect started kicking in harder, his natural male body scent became more seductive to you and your sensual body.

“It seems like you appear to need a helping hand, mao”

“n-no..i’m sorry i-i didn’t mean that..”

“..Relax, I won’t tell anyone”

He said, impatiently and roughly brought you up in his arms and carried you over the bed, eyes filling with lust. Xiao slammed you against the bed, following with a sloppy kiss like he was really about to eat you alive, no doubts. Tongues and heavy breathing intertwined, with your sweet little moans in between it all. You couldn’t think clearly anymore, you just wanted to go with the flow right now and let your body felt the pleasure it deserved. But there was something telling you this was not right, you should not be doing this with someone who was not your lover. How would this result in?

Despite you being the person who was affected by the drug, Xiao on the other hand seems unwillingly to let this pass more than you, it almost seemed like he was the one who was drugged in the first place and not you. You called out his name in a lustful and tempting tone telling him to stop. He ignored. The only thing he wanted to focus on right now was making sure you went insane from the pleasure he was giving and made sure you would remember this night forever. He wanted to imprint you with your first time, he was so happy he was your first. Not like anyone else would be capable of this besides him anyways, considering all the secret slaughterings he has done.

“mao, this is all your fault”

Xiao’s mind had gone blank and corrupted completely after hearing his name escaped those beautiful lips of yours again and again, telling him to stop. He was so aroused by you calling his name in such a lewd way even though he knew you didn’t mean it. He hovered over you and started caressing every inch of your curves, amused by the thought that this is all his now and there was no way for you to run away from this situation. You would eventually have to give in, he would make sure it happened that way. And the things after tonight, well that would be another issue that he could handle later on.

Xiao’s sharp golden eyes were filled with so much heavy lust and dark temptation that just one look into his eyes and you knew there were no escape, he would not listen to you at all.

He loved the way your tiny cunt could not let go of his dick whenever he tried to pull out, it tightened and seemed displeased. His eyes got darkened quickly by the thoughts. Yes, you were the one who seduced him, this was your consequence and not his problem to consider stopping this now. He began to express his sexual desires towards you for hours and hours without stopping or slowing down the pace. It was so messy and dirty, one time after another with merely any breaks in between. You probably have done it in every position possible in every corner of the room by now.

You were so embarrassed and could not believe what Xiao was doing right now, it all felt so unfamiliar, this was not the Xiao that you knew at all. How could an adeptus who barely made any mortal interaction had capability to perform sexual acts so surprisingly well like that…

Wait, well? WELL? What do I mean by well!? I’m enjoying this?

Another deep thrust inside of you cutting through your thoughts. He kept changing position and you were just blindly following his lead without the strength to fight back anymore.

“You’re distracting, mao? I’m very unpleased with your attitude. What a disrespectful act towards an adeptus who is trying all his best ways to please you right now”

He groaned, teasingly yet he also truly seemed unpleased. You gulped and asked him one more time to stop.

“Xiao, stop please, it’s enou–ngh”

He continued without considering your words with a dead silence response and rough moves, making your overworked body trembling once more time.

The night is still long. He thought.

He couldn’t get enough of you.

Oh my innocent mao, you wouldn’t think that would be enough for me who has suppressed his feelings for too long, would you?

For how long it could go, Xiao wouldn’t let you lose conscious at all. You didn’t understand how you didn’t faint at some points also, you assumed it was possibly his adeptus manipulation ability.

He finally stopped when the sun came out. You let out a sigh of relief before falling into darkness.

After waking up we will proceed on the next part shall we? Sleep tight, mao.

[apompkwrites]

reader impact || first meeting

series masterlist characters: xiao, albedo genre: fluff summary: a game has been released entitled genshin impact, consisting of otherworldly abilities relying on the basic elements of nature. the game follows the story of an interdimensional traveling twin in search of their other half. along this journey, they meet different characters that live in this world. including you. notes: have i read a few genshin impact x game character reader stories and impulsively decided to make one too? maybe. you can't prove anything. i don't know if this will be a series but we'll see :D

xiao's playthrough -

xiao, named as alatus on his streaming platform, has made himself known as a gaming streamer with an awkward personality and blunt words.

he's the type of streamer who wouldn't have a set type of game and would, instead, play whatever his viewers recommended.

valorant? sure, he'll try it out.

hitman? why not?

animal crossing? it's a complete 180 from the other games, but sure.

when one of his viewers recommended genshin impact, he was quick to say yes and search for the game.

once the game finishes downloading, he quickly begins the game.

once the opening cutscene passes, he compliments the overall aesthetic of the game, pointing out the smaller details such as the footprints made by his character and the sound their clothes make when they move.

as always, his expressions are quite monotone to a point where it seems nothing draws his attention towards the game.

one of his mods, however, knows xiao well enough to where he knows which character he would like.

they convince xiao that the game is worth sticking with towards the second half of chapter 1, act 1.

he doesn't understand but he trusts his mods so he promises to continue.

it takes a few hours, especially because of the grinding, but a few streams later he's finally made it.

after fighting a one-sided argument with cloud retainer, he immediately begins his trek to the wangshu inn. and yes, trek, he enjoys walking/gliding through the world of teyvat rather than fast traveling everywhere.

he walks up the stairs to the top floor of the inn, resting his hands in his lap as the cutscene begins.

"to the blind, everything may not be as it appears..."

xiao is normally stoic during games, even ones with scenes made to fluster the player and catch them off guard.

but not this time.

once xiao's character is faced with yours, he just stops. his chat is spamming messages, asking if he's okay and if he's actually emoting for once.

he just stares at your character for a good five minutes.

and trust me, at least half of his viewers clipped that.

"... who are they?"

that was his only question after those minutes of silence. never before had he been attached to a character within the first few minutes of meeting them. his mind is racing and all he can think about is how amazing your character design is and how nice your voice is and how cool your character is and--

oh right, he's streaming right now...

anyway, the more your conversation goes on, the more he loves your character.

you're just so sassy and snappy but he loves you either way.

once you turn away with your back towards the camera, he just stares.

he stares at the intricate tattoo on your exposed arm and the mask hanging off of your belt.

and then you're gone.

his face drops so quickly and his viewers are very quick to point it out. he grimaces once paimon starts talking and he's very tempted to just speed through her dialogue.

he just wants to see you again.

once he hears from verr goldet that you've never smiled (at least around her), he immediately turns to the camera and says, "we better make them smile in this game."

once he finds out about your favorite food, he's already asking his viewers if he's able to get the recipe for it.

the next time he gets to talk to you, his face just lights up once he sees your character standing on the balcony.

however, once his characters tell you about rex lapis's death, his heart sinks when he hears how sad your voice becomes, even if your tone is still as harsh as before.

he gets all sad again when the quest ends and he has to wait to unlock the next archon quest.

he ends the game there and decides to spend the last few minutes talking to his viewers.

"i'll stream genshin again soon."

his viewers all know it's only because he met you.

albedo's playthrough -

albedo often does art streams and the occasional science-y stream.

if he does games, he mainly uses them to admire the art/mechanics of the gameplay.

genshin impact was one of those games he decided to play on his own solely because of the beautiful scenary.

(and the opportunity to draw more characters).

he's definitely the player that cares about elemental reactions above all else. pretty much every character he uses is built for elemental damage instead of physical.

most of his genshin streams are him walking around teyvat and pointing out the scenary.

he was definitely excited for the dragonspine event because that meant a better view of teyvat!

what he wasn't prepared for, however, was the reveal of a new character: you.

he isn't too into looking at the updates for genshin on his own, so he didn't find out about who you were until his stream asked about it.

he decided to react to the newest updates live since his chat seemed excited to hear his input.

once he pulled up the latest update details, he spent a few minutes talking about the new subzero mechanic.

but once he scrolled down to the characters... OH BOY

he's able to keep his composure but he definitely spends longer talking about you.

he almost gasped when he saw you were the chief alchemist of mondstadt.

combine that with the fact that you rely on elemental damage instead of physical...

your honor, he's fallen hard.

he'll put a countdown on stream to when your character and event drops, even on his non-genshin streams.

speaking of those streams, on the week just before your event, his streams will all be based around you and the information he's seen on you.

his art streams will consist of you and how he thinks your attacks will work just based on the description (he purposely avoided all pictures of your attacks for this stream).

his science-y streams would probably be based on your element.

once your event drops, that's the only thing he'll stream until it's over.

your assistant used to be his favorite character to play as but they just never clicked. it's not like he hates your assistant, it's just he didn't immediately fall in love with them.

his party definitely has your assistant in it, though.

he would have normally taken his time to look around dragonspine and admire the new scenery, but he couldn't help but speed through it until he finally gets to see you onscreen.

once the cutscene officially introduces you in front of a canvas, he's internally panicking.

you like art too?! and science?! how perfect can you be?!?!?!

he will genuinely feel bad when he scares the hilichurls because he knows that that's what you were sketching.

"who are you? why did you alarm them?"

NOW HE FEELS EVEN WORSE

even when you tell him you've finished sketching, he wants to make it up to you :((

if he were able to, he would've lured more hilichurls to let you sketch more.

some people in his chat would probably spam him to skip your dialogue because it's so wordy, but that's the exact reason why he listens to it all.

he likes listening to your character ramble on, especially because you have a soothing voice.

anytime your character does their idle animation where you give life to something, he will always let it play. even if your dialogue is finished before the animation, he would not progress until it's completed.

once your character asks for help, he would immediately agree before you finished your sentence.

man just wants to spend more time with you.

he likes staring at the tattoo on your neck whenever the camera is close to you. he just thinks it's really pretty on you.

once your other nonplayable assistant begins talking, he'll skip through the dialogue. he doesn't care if it goes more in depth into this world's alchemy, he just wants to hear it from you.

"hmm, looks like the potion's ready. i'll try a little first."

"please don't..."

he doesn't want you to try it just in case it hurts you :(

anytime he is allowed to walk freely with you around, he'd definitely put his traveler character next to you for a few minutes and just let you two stare at each other.

someone asks him why he spends a few minutes doodling on his desk when you talk.

he shows them the notebook that he had been writing notes in. it's filled with little doodles of you and some more information you give on the world of alchemy.

for future streams the involve you, he'd set up another camera to show the notes and doodles he's making about you.

sometimes he'll spend a few minutes on a single section where the camera is focused on you just to recreate the picture in the notebook.

he absolutely loves whoever planned out the camera angles because of how cute you look in every one of them.

he definitely gets a bad vibe from rosaria when she hints at the fact that you may be using alchemy against him.

he will defend you and alchemy to his grave!

that one scene where you create a flower in front of you is one he will always treasure.

he makes sure someone clipped that moment just so he can draw that, make it a print, and put it on his wall.

since most of his viewers most likely consist of artists, he will encourage them to draw you and send him fanart. he will put them all on a wall and dedicate every picture that goes there to you.

"if i one day lose control... destroy mondstadt... as well as everything around it..."

"huh?"

"will you be there to stop me?"

"wait... no."

if people were only listening to that portion, they would still be able to hear the pout on his face.

he'll end the game there but change his stream into an impromptu art stream.

he will only be drawing you in nice situations to distract himself from the fact that there is something going on with you.

"hm? what do you mean something's wrong with (name)? i have no idea what you're talking about."

poor boy's in denial...

[writingbywatson]

Genshin Boys With A Dense Crush (Part 2)

Here is part 2~ so, the reason why I didn't include Bennett and Razor is the fact that I can never write for them, like IDK why but its just very hard for me. So yeah, sorry about that. Part 1 (Albedo, Childe and Diluc)

Chongyun

Dense + Dense = more dense

It was painfully obvious that Chongyun likes you but for some reason, he can’t quite figure that out for himself

But everyone around them knows

Xingqiu is actually on the road to writing a book about the two of you

Xiangling, Xinyan, Hu Tao, and Yan Fei are betting on how long until Chongyun realizes his feelings

Chongyun doesn’t know why he likes to see you every day, wants to have meals with you, and why he gets uncomfortable when he sees you with another person and smiling at them

Maybe it was the work of g-

“Oh I like them” -Chongyun one day when he woke up

He consulted his best friend Xingqiu about this and Xingqiu just placed his books down and said “dear archons finally, it was getting very painful to watch”

So the two started planning a cute little confession scenario

Somewhere Xinyan and Yan Fei are crying because they lost the best but Yan Fei is arguing that betting was illegal and has no ground in the law… Yan Fei, you betted with your conscience please stop

Anyway!

The pair of best friends decided to go with a simple type of confession because less is more in Xingqiu’s books

It was going so well, a cute dinner and all of that

“I like you Y/N, can we be more than that?”

Oh is that Xingqiu, Xiangling, Xinyan, Hu Tao, and Yan Fei spying on both of you from the bushes? Why, yes indeed.

“You want to be best friends Chongyun? But don’t you have Xingqiu as your best friend already?” - you with your ever so innocent voice and expression

Chongyun is frozen in place

Xingqiu, Xiangling, Xinyan, Hu Tao and Yan Fei are betting again this time how many times will Chongyun get a friendzone

Kaeya

Someone revive him

He can’t take your dense nature anymore

This is Kaeya after all everything he does allude to something so WHY WON'T YOU GET IT STILL

“Oh, Kaeya? You like someone!? Can you introduce me to them?” - you asking excitedly upon hearing his and Rosaria’s conversation

Kaeya was pretty sure he was describing you

Rosaria is holding back her laugh, she can't breathe… SOMEONE SAVE HER

“I love them but this dense attitude is too much!” - Kaeya as he slams his fist on top of Diluc’s bar

“Have you tried wooing them?” - Diluc as his wiping a glass down, he's so nonchalant about this situation LMAO

“HAVE I TRIED?” - Kaeya sounding very offended

“How about getting a white bed sheet and painting “will you marry me Y/N” on it?” - Rosaria

“Yeah, they leave me no ch-”

“Sit down, don’t embarrass yourself like a child” - Diluc pushing his brother down to sit

“HOW WILL I GET MY FEELINGS ACROSS THOUGH!”

“Just confess, normally… like… a normal person” - Diluc

Kaeya decided that in two days time he was going to confess to you, two days because he needed to make sure it was perfect

But the moment he saw you laughing with some random guy all the planning was thrown out the window

“Meet me in front of the church when the sun rises” - Kaeya to you when he passes by you at the corridor of the headquarters

When you arrived, he made you stand at the flight of stairs in front of the church while he went down

He kneeled with his right knee touching the ground and he pulled a very neatly folded white sheet from his pocket

He unraveled it and wrote, “WILL YOU MARRY ME Y/N?”

But even before you can react a thunderous shouting can be heard and a chuckle

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? I SAID CONFESS NORMALLY!” -Diluc

Thoma

I’m going to try but still little info on this new pyro husband

Thoma is a very understanding boy

He likes you so much that he's willing to wait

But damn has he been waiting long

He decided he was going to confess to you today as well!

“Y/N! I like you!” - Thoma

“I like you too! You are like my best friend!” - you

Every time this happens Thoma stress eats.

Ayaka is giggling because he has never seen her friend like this

He's trying his best for you to like him, he cooks for you, takes care of you, guards you, protects you…

WHAT IS HE DOING WRONG!?

“You know the festival is ongoing” -Ayato as he watches his sister’s friend mop around like a puppy who has been kicked. “Why don’t you try confessing properly and straight-forwardly there?”

That gave him an idea

He dragged to the talisman-wishing thing and told you that you two should make one

When the both of you were done, you should each other what you made and to your surprise, Thoma made a drawing of the both of you holding hands

“It’s not us being best friends forever” - he clarified

“It’s me hoping to spend many more years beside you as your lover.”

Venti

Barbatos aka Venti the Bard has been singing a lot of love songs lately

Especially when you were in the audience watching

He always likes your smile especially when you were watching him

So when the two of you were strolling around near the church of Monstad

He decided that he was going to confess today

Years of being alone and he finally get what Vanessa told him about meeting the right person

“Y/N, I love you-”

“Aww, Venti, I love you too!”

“Really?!” - Venti very excitedly

“Yeah! I love you as a friend! We’re like besties!”

Dvalin felt that

Andrius felt that

Hell even Vanessa felt that from Celestia

“Oh I got to go, bestie, I have something to do! See you tomorrow!”

Lately, the winds of Monstad have been depressing?

“I don’t understand! I thought they liked me back!” Venti his chugging his alcohol while Diluc looked at him in irritation

Diluc wants to kick him out but Venti is Monstad’s archon so he decided against it

“Venti! There you are!” - you

Venti hears your voice and because his drunk his happy instead of upset

He throws himself at you in an attempt of a sloppy hug

“Y/N! I love you~”

“I love you too, we are fr-”

“NO! I LOVE YOU LIKE A SIGNIFICANT OTHER I LOVE YOU! THAT TYPE OF LOVE THAT IF YOU ASK ME TO FIGHT MORAX I WOULD!”

Xiao

When Xiao first had these feelings he was confused

He lived a long life and this was the first time in his life where when he sees someone his chest becomes constricted and warm

“Xiao! Do you like traveler!?” - you excitedly

Xiao felt a tightening in his chest not that good type but am i being stab right now type of tightening

His answer would usually be along the lines of no and he can’t have relationships with mortals

He usually has a lot more patience with you compared to others but hearing you say that he looks good with someone else just made something in him snap

He didn’t mean to shout at you nor did he mean it when he said you should leave him alone

That’s why he's waiting for you at Wangshun Inn, his loneliness grew into worry when after 2 days you weren’t back yet

Upon eavesdropping around he also found out that no one has seen you and your last known location was Mt. Hulao and he immediately began to worry because that place was prohibited to humans

“Are you looking for someone?” - Mountain Sharper appeared behind Xiao as he reached the top of Mt. Hulao. “Are you looking for a mortal perhaps?”

“How did-”

“-That mortal is pretty noisy, they don’t stop talking and they know you.”

Oh, the warm feeling in his chest is back because they were talking about him which means that they weren’t angry at him!

“Where are they!?” Xiao would realize and I swear to you his ready to break every amber rock around Mt.Hulao

“Calm down, they are currently collecting Qingxin flowers”

Right on cue, “XIAO!? IS THAT YOU!?” he heard your voice from behind him, when he saw you, he immediately rushes to you and hugs you

“What are you doing here!?” Xiao would ask, his voice was raised only because of relief

“Oh, I got lost! And Moon Sharper here saw me, we ended up chatting and I guess I forgot the time, he shared so many stories about y- WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE THAT ARE YOU HURT!?”

“I’m alright… I just… I m-miss…”

Moon Sharper is just looking at this scene and he knows he's about to spill the hottest tea next time the adeptus (idk plural form okay) have a dinner party

Xingqiu

At first glance, it might look like that he isn’t affected at all

But internal his boiling

WHY WERE YOU SO DENSE

IF IT WEREN’T FOR HIS CLAN'S TEACHING AND WHAT NOT HIS PROBABLY ABOUT TO ASK YOU FOR A FIGHT

“You’ll make a great husband someday Xingqiu, I know it! Your future wife would be so happy!”

“I want you to be my wife though”

“What was that?”

“NOTHING!”

He knows he needs to move so he can win your heart but how can he when you were dodging every advance he makes

What is more frustrating is that YOU ARE NOT EVEN DOING IT ON PURPOSE

As an author he wants to experience romance first hand, so he tries to be romantic about it but this was frustrating

He decided to pull his last technique from his sleeves

He lent you a very romantic book and between one of the pages he inserted a paper that read “I wish for you to be my muse.”

If that doesn’t work Xingqiu is going to ask you to fight him

Zhongli

Zhongli, Rex Lapis aka Morax has lived thousands of years

Yet this is the first time he encountered someone so dense at first he taught you were just kidding and pretending but when he described what he likes in someone which was pertaining to you

You simply said “WOW THEY SOUND WONDERFUL AND YOU MUST REALLY LIKE THEM BECAUSE YOU SOUND SO IN LOVE” at his face with genuine awe, there was no sign of you being flustered and whatnot

Hu Tao was there to witness this and the younger female had a good laugh when she witnessed this

Zhongli is now praying to Guizhong for help and patience

He first wondered if the reason for such behavior was because you dislike him but it wasn’t the case because you would always smile when you see him

Which makes his knees very weak

In heaven, all the dead gods are laughing at him

He has lived for so many years and yet he doesn’t know what to do because he wants to spend years with you

But a part of him says this isn’t right because his an immortal and you were a mortal, someday him being a former god would drive an enigma in the future

That’s why he was also hesitating on his part

“Zhongli, look-look! A merchant from Monstad gave me a Cecilia!” - you snapping him from his thought, he's a tall man so you had to tip-toe to put the flower in his hair

“There you look even prettier now!” - you smiling up to him

As you were withdrawing your hand, Zhongli grabs it and places it in front of his lips

“I love you Y/N”

[yuu-says]

On the topic of

Yahooo! Its been a while :DD I kinda fell off the writing wagon so that explains why I haven’t been around- don’t know when and if I’ll be back for good but for now :DD I come bearing a long ass headcanon brainrot post! Enjoy!!

Also,,, //waves vaguely at Kaeya’s part// idek what happened there i blacked out and it was done so uhhhhh enjoy??

On the topic of :

[ Touch ] ft. Zhongli, Xiao, Kaeya

Song(s) listened to while writing : Tokyo (instrumental) by RM, ECHO cover by Mafumafu ft. Nqrse

Zhongli

* I firmly believe this man is touch starved you cannot convince me oTHERWISE

* He fully leans into this trait of his, not shying away from physical affection even when the two of you are still friends

* Whenever you’re with him, you’ll find his hand gently circling your wrist - guiding you forward to a place that he wants to show you. A hand on your elbow as he gently pulls you up from  a rocky cliffside climb. A hand on the back of your waist, careful not to lose you in the crowds of Liyue.

* Zhongli is and has always been gentle with his touches - a trait that collided with his archon title but it was a pleasant surprise nonetheless.

* His favourite way of greeting you is torn between pressing his lips on the back of your hand or kissing strands of your hair as he smiles up at you

* The love this man holds in his heart is simply too much for him to bear alone so every chance he gets, he expresses his affection through physical touches - even before the two of you were an item

* It gets worse (?) once you become his partner though

* He’s clingy when the two of you are in the confines of your own home - preferring to have you in his lap as he presses his lips against your skin

* its nothing sexual really- he just likes the feel of your warmth against his. So much so that he sometimes just speaks against your skin, hoping the words are audible enough so that he wouldn’t have to part from your warmth

* He likes having you in his lap - its easiest for him to bury his face in your neck and circle his arms around your waist, posture relaxing as you run your hand through his scalp.

* he wraps around you so much that when he has to go a certain period of time without your touch or your presence around, he starts instinctively reaching into the spaces where you would be; looking around the crowds to see where you had gone, waiting for you to wrap your arms around him whenever he came home early from work, expecting you to be in bed when he came out of the shower-

* Needless to say, you’re not gonna be leaving his embrace for a while after :’) just until he gets his fix :’)

 Xiao

* Xiao, like Zhongli, is also touch-starved but, unlike the old archon, he does not lean into it. Or rather, he thinks he hates being touched but he subconsciously does lean into it and if your eyes are sharp enough, you can pick up on his little habits.

* For the longest time, Xiao wont want to bother with things like affection or physical touches. He prefers to keep his hands to himself and prefers you do the same.

* It isn’t until one day, when you forcefully grabbed his hand to give him the little merchandise you picked up on your travels that reminded you of him, did he got thrown for a loop

* the feel of your warmth seeping through the fabric of his gloves has him????

* But alas, the feeling was fleeting and Xiao didn’t get the chance to process his feelings right up until you fell asleep against his shoulder

* Xiao stares at your sleeping form, hand subconsciously moving to brush the hair out of your face - the back of his hand slowly gliding across your cheek and, again, the familiar warmth of you seeping into his skin

* and then he freezes.

* Realizing that he, perhaps, likes the feeling of having you close a little too much.

* He’s so caught up in his own turmoil that he doesn’t notice you waking - you opening your eyes to the sight of him staring directly at you, hand on your cheek and head leaned close.

* He tenses when you call his name, pupils dilating as he stares into your eyes. A beat. Two beats. He mumbles a quiet apology but his movements is sluggish - almost reluctant to part from your warmth as he sits back and clears his throat.

* Things change slightly after. He becomes more open to physical touches - never initiating, but always lingering. Slow parting movements, eyes staring a little too long, very very subtle hints of acceptance.

* It’ll take a while for you to pick up on the change but please shower this man in affection when you do - even if he denies that he wants such a thing :’)

 Kaeya 

* The definition of the “At first I was like mMmHhmM physical affection as a joke but bro….I don’t think its a joke anymore,,,,,” meme

* Unlike the two, Kaeya is indecisive on where he stands. Its hard to grasp what he really wants unless he’s the one initiating it and even then you still have to decipher what it is he wants

* Playful, fleeting touches - touches that are meant to draw attention and to invoke a flutter in your chest is Kaeya’s game. He knows very well how to use his charms and will use it when necessary - so it isn’t a surprise that he would do this with you at the beginning of your acquaintanceship.

* “its to get you to warm up to me” he says, cheeky smile on his handsome face and your heart just jumps to outer space rip you

* He’s super casual with how he touches you - respectful, yes, but still very casual. And if you squint, very suggestive.

* a brush of a hand against your thigh, fingertips dancing across your skin as he moves your hair away, pulling your closer to his person by the waist - every touch of his is calculated so that he can make you the most flustered he can while feigning innocence

* it isn’t until he realizes his feelings for you does he put on the clown wig and reels his touches back

* Suddenly he’s aware of every brush of your skin against his; losing his composure and his sanity everytime you accidentally brush against him

* He doesn’t realize this, but sometimes his gaze lingers on your hand - its his most favourite part afterall. He wonders how close he could stand beside you while the two of you walked - just close enough so your hand would brush against his. Close enough so he could grab them and intertwi-

* “Kaeya?” he blinks. Oh. O h. He was already standing at your front door. When did that happen?

* “You okay? You’ve been dozing out the whole time,” you reach out to touch his cheek, wondering where his mind went to. His eye - eyes that were hazy with thoughts of you - suddenly cleared and Kaeya felt his muscles tensing at your touch

* He inhales shakily, staggering backwards as a he presses a hand to his lips - he’s losing his composure he’s losing his composure he’s losing his composURE

* Gone is the charismatic cavalry captain - the person who stands before you is none other than Kaeya - sweet genuine Kaeya whose heart swells with affection for you. So much so that he couldn’t stand it

* He leaves, a stuttered ‘good night’ falling from his lips as he basically ran away from the scene; he disappears for a bit after too and when he returns, he disregards your yells of concern and just-

* falls

* falls into your arm and into you embrace, burying his face in the crook of your neck and holding you impossibly close to his own person. A mumbled confession, a sheltered apology, a gentle press of his lips-

* Kaeya finds himself seeking your touch afterwards - flickers of hesitancy colouring his actions at times, but easily mend-able once you reach out for his hand

[is-nini]

Genshin impact x reader

Episode: 3

Title: really innocent??

A/n: SORRY THIS TOOK A LONG TIME- I'm sorry for any mistake and also, please enjoy! possible love interest for now will be : Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo, Zhongli, Childe, Xiao, Beidou, Ningguang.

Jean and the purple dressed girl looks at each other it's as if they're talking about something but with no words being spoken.

"ah yes.. uhm- you will meet a certain knight.. please wait for a while".

the acting grand master that you now know names Jean is opening the door to the outside office alongside the purple dressed woman. 

once Jean and Lisa was outside, they took a glance at you, making sure you didn't follow or eavesdrop on them.

“she.. passed our test..? is it enough to prove her innocence?”

Lisa shakes her head and goes into a thinking position. you did pass the test.. you genuinely doesn't seem to know this place even if you did.. damn you make a good actress.

“no.. we still need more proof-”

Lisa stopped midway her words when suddenly Aether comes in along side paimon.

“hello, cutie”.

Lisa suddenly change the subject and greets Aether, and starts discussing about the new.. unknown girl from nowhere. Aether crunch his eyebrow, another traveler? is she perhaps like.. me? Aether is exited to see you. you're from nowhere you have a possibility to know his twin sisters information.

you waited for about 2 or 3 minutes who knows, being left alone in the room is not really fun. your ears perked up when you heard a footsteps coming from outside. the door opened and it reveals a man with a flying thingy.. the mc and the companion. paimon.

“this is the hononary knight that we wanted you to meet”

The mc, that you know the name "Aether" is Infront of you, his eyes is glimmering with slight hope. A hope that you might know his sister..

Well you don't.

Not really, you haven't gone THAT far, all you've been doing is just leveling up and be stronger. Oh well. You silently said in your head. What can you do? You being here already ruin the whole story. You smile at the boy and wave your arm a little bit.

"Hello, nice to meet you".

Aether greets you and you greets him back with a wave and a 'hello'. Jean smile softly but worriedly at Aether.

"uhm.. Aether can you bring y/n around Mondstat? She.. is new here".

Jean has calculated everything, Lisa has cast a couple of spell to check you, Kaeya has met you and he doesn't seem to hate you or find anything suspicious from you. And with that in mind, jean no longer hesitate. She is sure that even if you did something weird as long as it's not threatening you'll be fine.

And so!!! Your adventure with Aether and paimon starts from today.

Stepping outside of the room is a huge relief- well not really, some of the guards are stating at you. You maybe new but you're not blind.. you can see or rather feel their eyes on you.

"so.. y/n right? Paimon was wondering.. how did you get here?".

Ah yes there you go the question that even you don't know.

"uhm.. honestly i Don't remember.. i told you that when i woke up i am in the hospital room with barbara.. and the rest is history. I also don't know how or why i am wearing the Mondstat dress".

Paimon looks at you weirdly and Aether is just staring at you, it seems like he wanna ask something so you flash a smile at him, reassuring him that it's okay to ask questions.

" are you a traveler like me?"

You of course, shake your head. Aether and you are different, he travels by his will and you travel not by your will.

"I'm not a traveler, i didn't go from one word to another.. but thankyou for asking".

Aether's eyes widen for a little. Maybe you're not as clueless ass you seem. Just by answering his question you already give away little bits of your secret. Aether is SURE you're hiding something.. what he's not sure about is are you a friend or a enemy. Aether took a glance at paimon, of course she just nods her head and went to talk random stuff to you.

Aether never mentioned about traveling one world to another.. yet you seems to know about that without him needing to explain.

Without realizing Aether stopped and thing, spacing out, causing you and paimon to look at him worriedly.

"are you okay?"

You asked the boy, he quickly looks at you and nods his head yes. You shrugs your shoulder thinking that maybe it's just hot and he wanted to rest.

Aether show's you around Mondstat. You meet alot of great and nice people like Glory and Ellin even Hertha. But one person catches your eye.

"so y/n this is Katheryne. Katheryne, this is y/n".

Your eyes widen. What is she doing here?! She's the one who gave you that disc that started all this- not that you're complaining but this is against your will-.

"uhm... Y/n?".

Paimon called your name. You snapped out of your imagination and looked at the worried Paimon, Aether and Katheryne.

"u-uhm... What did i miss.. hehe?"

You asked them. Aether pats your back and you sweatdrop, whoops.. luckily you don't think out loud... That would be.. ahem.. awkward.

"katheryne says hello to you".

Katheryne giggle and wave at you, you laugh awkwardly and greets her back.

"h-hi..."

Katheryne nods and proceed to talk with Aether and Paimon about the new quest that they're getting.

"are you perhaps going to show y/n around Mondstat?".

Aether nod and Paimon say yes, you are just going with the flow, nodding your head when you can so that they'll know, you're still paying attention.

"great! Some one from Liyue has a wine request for master Diluc. They said that it would be great if you can send their request in person to master Diluc".

Send their request in person??? Why would they need Aether to send their request in person..? That's interesting. Aether accept the quest anyway, it's not that big of a problem. Aether turns to look at you.

"well we are going to the bar next.. and maybe if you're lucky you can meet master Diluc on your first day here".

Lucky? Why would you be lucky, you follow them anyway to meet this master Diluc.

"hah.... Diluc~".

Wait- what who said- you look around and saw a girl with short hair thats bunch up into a low ponytail. The girl seems to notice you staring at her, she seems surprised and quickly covers her face.

"that is Donna. She knows alot about romance".

Paimon went beside you and whisper.

"she also has a crush on master Diluc".

That clicked and you goes 'O' you nod your head at Paimon, Aether looks at Paimon and face palm, which makes you giggle.

"ah! Hello mr Aether! Ouuuuu??? Hello miss pretty".

A little girl behind a row of flower greets Aether and you. Wait did she just call me pretty? Ah .. you don't wanna be too confident so you greets her to she what she say.

"hello there! my name is y/n, what’s yours?”

the girl smile sweetly at you as she started to introduce herself.

“my name is flora! nice to meet you miss pretty!”.

w-what miss pretty? your face turns into a shade of red, Paimon tease you about you being miss pretty, Aether’s face went a little red but he quickly just laughs and smile softly at the both of your antics.

“okay okay, it’s time to move on guys. let’s go to the bar”.

Aether pull you and Paimon away from each other, you guys said your goodbye to flora as you both part way. you're kind of exited to meet this Diluc guy.. what will he look like? is he nice? is he powerful? without you realizing it, you're finally in front of the bar. you opened the door and take a peak inside, while Aether just walks in.

“hello master Diluc, were so lucky meeting you here right now!”.

a handsome man with red hair and a very dark like clothes looks up at Paimon and Aether, sensing a new face he turn his gaze to you. 

“and... i assume you're showing this lady around?”

wow... calling you lady... fancy. he also looks.. hot.. and fancy wait- come on y/n! stop going out of the main topic!

“whoa! how does master Diluc know that were showing y/n around?”.

Paimon asked, master Diluc fixes his gloves and looks at Paimon with little to no interest.

“words travels quickly, especially if its about a girl out of nowhere that so happen uses the Mondstat dress”

he now turn his gaze on you. you're not even surprised if he is suspicious by you, people are giving you a suspicious glances except for that nice flora girl. you stare at him back and sigh, you cant really complain can you? its not their fault anyway

“Right.. nice to meet you master Diluc”.

you bow your head a little at him. he nods back and turn his attention else where, seemingly uninterested. Diluc makes a conversation with Aether about something, Aether and Paimon seems.. a little hesitant, you keep looking around the bar anyway, youre not incluedid in the conversation then you should not intervine. Paimon and Aether goes towards you.

“so...uhm.. y/n.. we will be going first”

Paimon said, kind of awkwardly, you look at them, confused, why are they leaving you now? you thought that they're gonna show you around? what happen to that? A hand suddenly reach out to your shoulder, making you freeze up.

"I'll take care of you from now on"

And with that your fate has been decided, you'll be with Master Diluc for the rest of the day... Until who knows when.

Taglist:

@laic2299 @inlustris-is-slowly-dying @dreaminselfinserts

[demoniqt]

Qijiu Week September 2021

Day 5 Bodyswap or Reincarnation

In a brighter world, Shen Jiu would be reincarnated into a rich family, as the second son to a loving set of parents consisting of a successful businessman and a housewife.

He would have an older brother who was also an equally successful businessman like their father, which was good because with his older brother taking care of the family business, he was able to focus on his own interest.

From a young age, he was found to be talented in the arts, particularly in dancing and music.

He especially loved dancing.

He threw his all into it, finding freedom in the movements of his body like he couldn't in his words.

For some reason, he always had difficulty in articulating the correct words without sounding offensive and snappish. His family was used to it, having grown use to his abrasive and sensitive nature. But it made him a loner in his youth and it followed him into his adulthood.

With dancing, it was different. But it wasn't just a form of communicating his feelings. It was also carthatic for him. Like meditation. It made him feel happy and more at ease with himself.

So it really didn't surprise his family when he found his calling in dancing professionally. He was hired by a dancing troupe right after graduating dancing school and started travelling with them to perform.

He still came home regularly whenever he could, especially to visit his sickly little brother and teenage little sister.

On one such visit, someone stopped him at the train station, grabbing his arm as he passed.

"Xiao Jiu?"

Shen Jiu frowned at the man for being so familiar. He was very handsome, fit and tall. He was also well dressed with neatly groomed hair. Very much his type, which was a pity because he seemed a bit creepy stalkerish.

The way he stared at Shen Jiu so intently unnerved him.

The lithe dancer pulled his arm away and put some distance between them.

"Do I know you?"

The devastation on the man's face was genuine and almost heartbreaking.

"Hey, what's wrong? You alright?" Shen Jiu asked, concerned despite his wariness.

His words seemed to jar the man out of his obvious sorrow.

"No, I mean yes, I'm alright," he babbled, wiping tears from his eyes. "I'm just- glad, overwhelmed. I-You look like someone I knew."

"Okay," Shen Jiu answered slowly, before backing off. "Well, I have to go now."

"Wait," the man tried to grab his arm again, as if trying to stop him from disappearing but Shen Jiu pulled away. This made the man back away to give Shen Jiu space.

"Sorry, sorry," he said, lifting his arms as if to show 'See, I'm unarmed.'

"What do you want?" Shen Jiu asked, his wariness returning two-fold. This man was really creeping him out.

"What's your name?"

If he knew that his name was Shen Jiu, he'd definitely try to insist that he was this 'Xiao Jiu'. So, to prevent further potential trouble for himself, he chose to snark out:

"It's none of your business," before turning on his heels to leave. He blatantly ignored the man calling after him, somewhat fearful for his own well-being.

Unfortunately, he didn't realise that the carry-on that he was totting had his dancing troupe's logo on it.

Of course, the creepy businessman whose name was Yue Qingyuan would go about investigating his place of employment and find out his name.

And of course, the next time Shen Jiu was performing, he would see his stalker at the front seat watching him. The amount of shock that gave him nearly sent him into hyperventilation but he was a professional, so he bucked up and continue performing with barely a flinch or hesitation.

When he returned to his dressing room, which he shared with another performer, it was filled to the brim with flowers.

"Wow, please tell me half of this is mine," his roommate, Qi Mei said, picking up a card to read the name, then another. "They're all from the same guy. Someone's enthusiastic."

Shen Jiu had closed his eyes to rub at his temples in an attempt to ease his headache.

"Don't tell me-"

"It's all from Yue Qingyuan," she confirmed, having picked up a few more cards. "Impressive."

"For you, maybe," Shen Jiu said, battling his way through the foliage to reach his dressing table to remove his make up.

"Are you going to go out with him?" Qi Mei asked, curious.

"No. Why?" Shen Jiu replied, stopping to look at her through the reflection of his mirror.

"You don't know?" she said, looking shocked. "He's our company's new owner."

Well, shit.

[cheri-cheri]

[L&N] Jesse’s Main Storyline - Reunion

🍒 Warning: Contains detailed spoilers from Chapter 8 of the main storyline of Light and Night 🍒

Previous section: here

He’s Jesse? But the youth who was with me that day-

Staring blankly at the clean and clear face, my heart thumps heavily. That’s right. Those eyes are stubborn and bright.

Jesse: There’s something unique about MC’s designs. She likes drawing four-sided stars. You could compare it with her earlier drafts. It’d be clear at a glance who copied whom.

But this is a little secret between me and my grandmother. No one else would-

I’m in a daze. I’m basically a dummy.

One other person knows about it. Someone who was almost forgotten with time.

I stare at him in disbelief, and have the illusion that this is a game of hide-and-seek which has been going on for seven years.

This instance is akin to a movie scene. The years accelerate in reverse, each frame filled with memories engraved on my heart.

-

Him at 13 years old: What kind of adults do you think we’d become next time? I really want to travel to the future and have a look.

-

Him at 11 years old: Since you gave me Chinese tuition, I’ll reluctantly go to the same junior high school as you and teach you math.

-

Him at 8 years old: Next time, I’m going to be an outstanding person. Outstanding people will have lots of money, and I can afford to buy everything you want to eat!

-

MC at 7 years old: Hey, why are you squatting on the floor with mud on your face?

Him at 5 years old: [crying] T-they threw mud at me. They said I’m a fatty, and that fatties are most useless...

MC at 7 years old: Don’t be afraid! I’ll wipe it off for you. Next time, just follow me. I’ll protect you! Don’t cry. Real men don’t cry.

Him at 5 years old: Sob sob sob... okay...

MC at 7 years old: What’s your name?

Him at 5 years old: My name is Xia Ming Xing. Xia for 夏天 (“xiao tian” - summer), Ming for 一鸣惊人 (“yi ming jing ren” - amazing the world), and Xing for 星星 (“xing xing” - star)-

MC at 7 years old: What a difficult name. Can I just call you Xing Xing?

Him at 5 years old: That sounds like the relative of monkeys.

[Note] In Chinese, 猩猩 (“xing xing”) is “gorilla”

MC at 7 years old: How about Ming Ming?

Him at 5 years old: The uncle next door is called Ming Ming.

MC at 7 years old: Hm, I’ll call you “Dumpling” then. You look like a dumpling.

Him at 5 years old: Sure, dumplings are so delicious.

MC at 7 years old: Let’s make a pinky promise to always be friends.

-

Time moves in reverse, and once again returns to the present. I feel as though a gust of wind that was stalled in the past is now coursing between us, blowing away the many years apart.

MC: Dump-

I smile, unable to help myself as I call his name. The moment I say one syllable, he clasps a hand over my mouth.

The composed youth from earlier is now flushed, giving me a pitiful look.

At this moment, Wu You’s face is ghastly pale.

MC: I’m uninterested and have no time to play such games with you. This is a competition, and it has its rules. I can afford to lose and can afford to win. I accept a just contest, but I reject dishonest tricks. There are many more designers, including your sister, who are striving to make even better products. That’s the meaning of designing. I’ve already explained what I had to. I trust that everyone can make their own judgements.

Grabbing Dumpling’s hand, I turn around to leave. Now, there’s something even more important waiting for me.

Feeling the warmth in his palm, the youth’s expression turns from astounded to beaming with happiness.

Jesse: Let’s go.

Pulling him to a place where we won’t be disturbed, I suddenly feel a little speechless.

What should I say? Exchange conventional greetings? Would that be too formal?

But we haven’t seen each other in so many years. It might be awkward to talk about other things.

He seems to realise this as well. He looks at me, dumbfounded and at a loss for what to do.

MC: Erm, Xia Ming Xing, it’s been a long time.

Jesse is taken aback for a moment. Then, he bursts out laughing.

Jesse: Who are you? Why are you calling me by my full name? Give that fierce girl back to me!

He reaches out to pinch my cheeks, his appearance as playful as back then.

MC: Stinky Dumpling. You’re the one who’s fierce. I haven’t asked why-

Before I can finish speaking, I’m pulled into a hug. It’s cosy and tastes of sunlight. The second half of my question melts into his arms.

Jesse: Did you know that it’s been a very, very long time since I heard the name “Dumpling”...

He tightens his grip, burying his head in the crook of my neck.

MC: Dumpling...

Jesse: Mm.

MC: Dumpling Dumpling Dumpling!

Jesse: I’m here.

Jesse: Did she bully you earlier? It’s my fault for arriving too late. She made things difficult for you for such a long time.

His voice brings with it a nasally tone. It’s gentle, like a cup of hot milk gradually flowing into my heart.

MC: Why are you only asking me about that?

Jesse: What else should I ask about? What’s more important than you getting bullied?

MC: I’m fine, thank you.

Unexpectedly, he’s given a fright and blinks incessantly.

Jesse: MC, have you gone silly? You actually thanked me?

MC: ?

Jesse: Aren’t you going to throw me a left hook, then ask where the hell I’ve been these years-

I place my hands on my hips, pretending to be angry.

MC: Why would I ask where the hell you’ve been? Didn’t we know each other just two days ago?

Jesse: What do you mean “two days ago”?! We’ve known each other for 15 years and 9 months!

MC: But why do I recall how a certain person refused to talk to me unless he wore a strawberry headgear?

Jesse: I... I was afraid you’d ignore me once you recognised me. I wanted to meet you again in a more formal setting.

MC: In that case, why did you rush into the room furiously?

Jesse: They were bullying you right under my nose. How could I hold myself back! 

Jesse: Don’t be angry, okay?

He shifts closer to me. No matter where my eyes look, he meets them immediately. 

Faced with such a pair of pure eyes, my temper dissipates. It’s as though everything in the past has been written off in them.

MC: Shouldn’t you give me an apology before I forgive you?

Jesse: Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry-

He continues on and on, as though he'd continue saying this till the sky turns dark if I don’t get him to stop.

MC: That’s enough, I forgive you.

And with that, a bear hug lunges at me.

I’ve genuinely forgotten if his hugs were this warm during childhood.

Now, these pair of arms are filled with a comforting ease.

There are so many things I want to ask him. I want to ask if he’s been living well, and why he didn't give me a single call.

More than that, I want to ask why he left without saying goodbye.

But when I open my mouth, I swallow the words back down.

He mentioned that he couldn’t see me due to certain reasons. In that case, I’ll ask next time. Anyway, we’ve already reunited, and there’s still a very long time ahead.

MC: All right all right, you can let go now.

Jesse: Hang on. We haven’t seen each other for 7 years. Shouldn’t we make up for what was lost? One hug per year will do. That means seven, each lasting 5 seconds. In total, 35 seconds!

He actually calculated it seriously.

??: Cough.

I hear a cough from behind me, and feel Xia Ming Xing’s body stiffen. He lets go of me reluctantly.

MC: Jiang Lai?

Jiang Lai looks at me awkwardly, then drags Gao Cheng from his hiding place behind her back.

Gao Cheng: We didn’t want to disturb you two.

Jiang Lai: We just wanted to tell you that the producer decided to use your designs.

MC: Really? That’s great!

Jiang Lai’s a tsundere so MC has to take the initiative to ask the three of them to form a team

Jiang Lai and Gao Cheng leave

Jesse: They’ve already left, so why are you still looking? The person you should be looking at is here.

Jesse: Can I send you home? Just like in junior high. 

MC: I was clearly the one who brought you home, okay? I sent you safely into your mom’s hands. Little Brat.

Out of habit, I reach out to tousle his hair, but realise I can only reach it by standing on tiptoes since he has grown much taller.

Jesse: Don’t call me Little Brat!

MC: Well, I’m two years older than you.

Jesse: But I’m already taller than you!

The youth lowers his eyes to look at me, his smile dazzling.

Jesse: Let’s go home~

-

MC: Let me test you. Which bus did we use to take? I moved houses due to work, but I still take the same bus.

Jesse: 102.

MC: How are you still able to remember?

Jesse: Of course I remember everything. I remember things related to you even better than yourself. The bus is here, the bus is here!

He places a hand on my back and we hurry onto the bus.

Although it’s a weekend, the bus is filled with students in uniform. We have no choice but to grip the handles while standing.

Jesse: Do you think they’re attending make-up classes? Isn’t today a Sunday?

MC: Many students have classes over the weekends these days. It’s unlike our time, where we had two days to rest.

Jesse: Wow, that’s great. Sigh. If only we were born a few years later.

MC: Let me off! Why didn’t I know that you were so enthusiastic about learning in the past?

Jesse: I’m enthusiastic about learning now. Is that wrong?

Jesse: Hey, look at that pair-

He points to the last row of the bus. A boy and girl are sitting next to each other, one earpiece in each ear. They aren’t interacting at all, and are staring out of the windows.

The boy would occasionally turn his head and glance at the girl, but will avert his gaze before the girl realises.

Jesse: Don’t they resemble us from back then?

MC: In what way? We were so boisterous.

Jesse: Correction. You hit me one-sidedly.

I shoot him a glare.

Jesse: But they’re still far from us. He wasn’t as handsome as I was back then.

MC: ...

Jesse: Look at them. One hand holding their school bag, the other placed on the seat. At a glance, it’s clear that they want to hold hands but don’t dare to.

MC: They look like junior high students. Where’s your mind wandering off to?

Jesse: These eyes of mine have seen through too many things. Sigh, what dummies! Just shift over slowly and grab it.

MC: You sound as if you’d actually do it.

Jesse: Of course I would. It’s just that I didn’t dare. Otherwise, I’d have-

MC: You’d have what?

He glances at me, then shakes his head, lips tightly sealed.

MC: Boasting again.

The bus suddenly jolts. The boy’s phone tumbles onto the ground, rolling in front of us. Xia Ming Xing picks it up and returns it to them.

Glancing at the tune that’s currently being played, I realise that it’s the male singer I liked most back then.

MC: How nostalgic. I was the same back then, only daring to listen to music on the MP3 after school.

Jesse: I was different. I listened to it in broad daylight in the classroom.

MC: Which is why The Exterminator confiscated it five times.

Jesse: But afterwards, I exchanged it with five exam scripts with full marks.

MC: Show off. Back then, I thought about how the days passed by so slowly. I wondered when I could grow up, because I’d finally be able to do the things I wanted to. I didn’t expect for time to speed by. After becoming an adult, each day passes by so quickly, and I don’t even have time to listen to music. In the blink of an eye, the people around me changed.

Jesse: But some things didn’t change, did they? We became the type of adults we are based on what remained.

MC: What remained for you then?

He no longer speaks, looking at me quietly with a silly smile.

MC: I realised that the frequency of your silly smiles are a little high.

Jesse: I’m looking at what remained for me. If we had gone to the same senior high school, what kind of people would we have become?

MC: You probably wouldn’t have gotten slimmer. After all, you came over to my house every day to freeload on meals.

Jesse: Do you think I can’t tell that you’re being sarcastic?

MC: Hahahaha-

How would we have turned out? I have no idea either.

When I travelled across the ocean after my grandmother’s death in my sophomore year, we would have parted anyway.

MC: Fortunately, we’ve met again now.

An earbud is suddenly stuffed into my ear. An acoustic guitar prelude instantly pulls me back to those youthful years.

I originally thought that I had forgotten the lyrics since a long time ago. But I can still hum “small yellow flower” and “playing on a swing”.

It turns out that the things we thought were forgotten are engraved in our minds, waiting to be awakened.

MC: There’s a similar MP3 in my house, but it’s broken and I need to get it fixed by a servicing shop. Oh yes, why are you listening to this song? Weren’t you distasteful of it in the past?

Jesse: It isn’t bad after listening to it again and again, although it’s still a little lacking as compared to me. In the past, you used to say that I was the God of Singing in your eyes.

MC: Hahahahaha, fine fine, God of Singing. I didn’t expect you to really enter this industry and become a musical actor. It’s miraculous.

Jesse: Miraculous?

MC: When we were younger, there was an essay where we had to write about what we wanted to be when we grew up. You wrote about being a singer who sang for the entire world. Afterwards, your mom saw it and forced you to erase it all off, changing it to a scientist.

Hearing me talk about his embarrassing past, he scratches the back of his head abashedly.

MC: Being able to make your dream come true, especially if it’s a dream which isn’t understood or affirmed, is truly incredible.

Jesse: That’s because I have a secret strength supporting me.

Hearing the music, I suddenly think of the outfit I had designed for him. Perhaps I could add a few more elements related to youth.

Taking out my notebook from my bag quickly, my head suddenly feels dizzy, and my nose bumps against his shoulder.

MC: That hurts!

Jesse: [sighs] ...

He turns his body in resignation, bending his back.

Jesse: Draw while leaning on my back, Miss.

MC: Mm!

-

The sky gets dark very early in autumn. The evening breeze raises a hue from afar, and leaves rustle from the trees.

The hubbub of voices on the bus and affectionate teasing seem to have been dispersed by the breeze, leaving without a trace. What’s left are the both of us walking home in silence from the bus-stop.

Moonlight leaks from the trees along the roadside, outlining the side of Xia Ming Xing’s face. It’s no longer roundish, and has become a little foreign.

MC: Dumpling, why did you suddenly move away back then?

I have no idea why I suddenly asked this. There was simply a strange feeling that he’d disappear again if I didn’t ask about it.

A twinge of guilt flashes past Xia Ming Xing’s face.

Jesse: Do you still remember the call I gave you on the day I left?

MC: Call? What call?

Jesse: You don’t remember? You picked it up, but hung up after I said a few words.

MC: ...when did I hang up?

Why do I have no impression of this at all?!

MC: What’s going on?

Jesse: Back then, my family was moving. I managed to fight for one week with my parents, wanting to stay behind to finish the competition with you. I didn’t have the guts to tell you because I was afraid you’d be upset if you knew. Afterwards, I summoned my courage and gave you a call. But you weren’t willing to listen to me.

MC: That never happened. Why didn’t I know about this at all...

Jesse: So you never hung up?

He grabs my shoulders, his fingers cold as ice. I can almost feel his body trembling.

Jesse: It wasn’t that you didn’t want to hear from me?!

He asks once more, his tone seeking confirmation.

For a period of time after he left, I refused to hear the name which was equivalent to “betrayal” in my heart. But no one knew that I was secretly looking forward to him returning one day.

At the very least, it could prove that I wasn’t the party who was abandoned.

But why was this the answer? A mistake? A perhaps irretrievable mistake from such a long time in the past?

With this thought, my chest feels suffocated.

MC: So that’s why you didn’t look for me in all these years?

The youth remains silent, orange strands of hair blowing up with the wind.

Jesse: I had my reasons for not contacting you. It had nothing to do with the call. I... just wasn't brave enough.

I suddenly have no idea how to respond to his calm gaze, and I also understand that neither of us were at fault for the parting back then.

MC: Xia Ming Xing.

Jesse: Hm?

MC: Were you the one who put the MP3 into the tin?

Jesse: Mm.

MC: So you put the card in there too.

Jesse: Mm. But I didn’t participate in the competition with you, and couldn’t stay by your side. I don’t seem to have kept any promises.

I shake my head forcefully, eyes already damp.

Jesse: But now, I won’t shirk from it. As long as it’s something I promise you, I’ll definitely do it.

He takes a step towards me. The years have caused the once delicate youth to change entirely, turning into the man in front of me, whose eyes are especially resolute. With such a gaze, I’ll always choose to believe him, no matter what.

After sending me home, he stands in the corridor as he watches me enter, just like in the past.

Five minutes later, a rustling sound comes at the window.

Jesse: MC, open the window!

Opening the window in confusion, the image before me almost causes tears to leave my eyes.

Pink confetti flutters and blooms in the city sky, dancing gently in the clear summer night, akin to that snow which had yet to appear many years ago.

Amidst the pink coloured snow, the youth reveals a bright and hearty smile as he waves at me.

Jesse: You asked if I regretted it. The answer is - I regret it. I regret it very much, and at every single moment. Summer is already over, but why do I feel as though this summer has just begun? 

Jesse: Next week, come and watch my performance. This time, it’d be my turn to wait for you.

MC: Mm, I’ll definitely be there!

-

Only after the snowflakes finish their descent does Xia Ming Xing reluctantly walk home. If he was slightly braver and slightly stronger back then, would the ending to their story be different?

He doesn’t know. It seems that particular rainy day is still before his eyes. It’s late at night, and a figure flashes past at the end of the dim alley.

Jesse: Who’s there!

The surroundings are completely silent. Xia Ming Xing turns his head and looks at the girl’s illuminated window, then quickly chases after that figure.

A crow flaps its wings and flies past at a low altitude. The moss-covered corner is encased by deathly pale moonlight. Xia Ming Xing stops in his footsteps, black blood soaking his shoes.

However, he doesn’t pay any mind to it. His gaze is locked tightly on that figure whose knees are on the ground, bowing devoutly towards the moon.

Jesse: Who are you?

That person turns around slowly. It’s a girl around ten years of age, and she’s small and petite.

Black hair covers her cheeks. She lifts the white candle in her hand, stuffing it into her mouth and chewing on it. The two golden bracelets on her wrist jingle.

Jesse: Her soul has been taken-

The moonlight grows increasingly bright. An indiscernible black spot suddenly appears on the girl’s chest, and the stench of something burning begins to fill the air.

Seeing that the girl is about to bite the tip of her tongue off, a rope flies from his hand, binding and tying the girl up.

The white candle falls to the ground. Xia Ming Xing lifts up two fingers, twisting a charm towards the girl. With a tearing sound, the charm turns into ashes in the air.

-

Three days later, it’s the day of the final competition of “Upper Hand”

MC is caught in a traffic jam along the way and decides to alight from the taxi halfway through

Sadly, she arrives just as the curtain falls

I hesitate, not knowing if I should approach him.

However, Xiao Ming Xing is already walking towards me. He has changed out of his performance outfit, and is wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans, looking clean and fresh.

Jesse: How was it? I didn’t embarrass you, did I?

I don’t really have the guts to look at him.

MC: I’ll tell you something, but don’t get mad.

Jesse: Every time you said that in the past, nothing good happened.

MC: Really?

Jesse: The first time you said it, you broke my game console.

MC: ...

Jesse: The second time you said it, you cooked me expired cup noodles for supper.

MC: ...

Jesse: The third time-

MC: Enough!

Why do I have such a black record!

Jesse: Go on, I’ve mentally prepared myself.

MC: Actually, I only heard the last five seconds of that song.

Jesse: ...

I can clearly sense that he’s akin to a deflated balloon. His eyebrows, which were arched earlier, droop downwards.

MC: Sorry. I’ll treat you to orange soda and vanilla ice-cream until you’re stuffed, okay!

I lift my hand up, gesturing a vow. Pulling a long face earlier, Xia Ming Xing suddenly bursts into laughter.

Jesse: MC, why can’t I get angry with you?

MC: You’ve forgiven me?

Jesse: I didn’t say that.

MC: But you just said that you can’t get angry with me.

Jesse: If you want me to forgive you, sing a song with me!

MC: ...what?

Before I can react, he grabs my hand and rushes towards the stage.

The youth has a smile which says that he has gotten his way. It’s as if this moment is something he’s been plotting for a very long time.

The moment we step onto the stage, a familiar melody sounds. In an instant, I feel as though I’ve travelled to a lifetime ago.

Jesse: Still remember this song? We named it together - “Portrait of Youth”.

How could I not remember? This was the song we wrote together for the competition back then.

It’s the song that we wanted to clinch the championship with.

It was a song we didn’t get to sing in the end.

In an empty basement, we’d hold our cola cans like microphones, practising till late at night.

We had immaturely mimicked the lyrics we didn’t understand at that age. But many years later, I realise that each line has turned into our story.

It’s as though something in the depths of my body is being awakened. It’s the fervour and anticipation that a youth has for the future, throbbing and pure.

My eyes can’t help but feel warm, and I find myself singing along with him involuntarily. 

-

Portrait of Youth (audio here)

That vanilla ice-cream

Melted in our rainy season

That old piano

“Ding dong ding dong” - is the tapping of the hour hand

Back then, I always loved to tease you

But didn’t allow anyone else to make you cry

You always said that I was a koi

But I was always asking you for tuition before exams

Dragonflies fly past our heads

Our inseparable shadows when we were young walk slowly in our memories

On the bicycle, I’m the only one with sweat like rain

I’m the only one left on the bicycle dripping with sweat

You were long gone from behind me

If the storm didn't block our vision that day

If I knew how to say goodbye that day

The flower petals in the diary

The unwashed roll of film from the camera

They wouldn’t be lonely longings

If the string of the kite didn’t break that day

If I could have been slightly braver that day

The empty pages in the diary

Wouldn’t have been filled with moss

The seven years in which we wandered off can’t be lost.

-

The lights gather in his eyes, and I'm reflected in them. It has been the case since many years ago.

All the stories seem to have ended with summer, but they begin with summer as well.

Fortunately, summer will always arrive. This unfinished story shall begin on this summer day.

[lady-of-the-lotus]

“Had I had eyes, what do you think would have happened when I found you in that ditch?”

“Probably killed me.”

“I would not have killed you.”

Xue Yang laughs, a short harsh bark that's nothing like his usual manic giggle. “Why should I believe you?”

XueXiao - E - AO3! - Tumblr Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chapter 3 - Blood

They travel for three days before they hit another village.

Villages and farms, they pass, but nothing with an inn.

“They’d take us in if we only asked,” Xiao Xingchen says as they pass the village. It’s nightfall, and foggy and almost chilly. Cheerful yellow lights shine through the fog, and he hears voices and the clatter of cookery.

“I’d rather not.”

“Is this one of the villages I wiped out?”

Xue Yang tightens his grip on Jiangzai. He’s had it out of his qiankun sleeve since leaving Yi City. “I knew you were going to throw that in my face. And no. Happy now?”

Xiao Xingchen looks at the lights. One flickers, goes out, is relit, and he imagines the person behind the candle.

A living, breathing person. Someone belonging to his world. Unlike—

He can’t face that person, he suddenly realizes. Can’t knock on the door, be offered a bed, when he knows the earth should be his bed, the soil his blanket.

Warm in the earth.

He banishes that thought, but it lingers.

Xue Yang smiles at him. It’s an oddly blank smile. “Another mile, so they can’t see our fire, and I’ll make camp.” And he turns and continues walking without waiting for Xiao Xingchen to agree.

He’s been in an odd mood ever since they left the Coffin House, Xiao Xingchen thinks as Xue Yang makes camp. He doesn’t know how to handle a sullen Xue Yang. Or any part of this post-resurrection version of Xue Yang.

Chengmei had never argued with Xiao Xingchen, never offered anything more than teasing chaff. Had that all been an act to win his trust? How much of Chengmei had been real, how much a ruse? Chengmei had been unflaggingly cheerful and helpful, talking almost non-stop, doing everything he could to amuse Xingchen and A-Qing.

And he had known Xue Yang before he’d known Chengmei. Not well, but he’d interacted with him during their game of cat and mouse that ended at the Chang Manor, and this new Xue Yang is darker than that old Xue Yang, moodier, his smile less bright.

Or perhaps Xiao Xingchen can now see through his smile.

He half welcomes it in, a strange way. Xue Yang is treating him how he'd treat anyone else, without any special reverence or politeness or worship, and much as he'd prefer a cheerful Xue Yang, it feels almost good.

“I’m afraid I’m not much help,” Xiao Xingchen says as they warm themselves at the fire. Despite sitting much closer than Xue Yang is, he can still only half feel it.

Xue Yang gazes at him intently through the flames. “So you really did just get welcomed into people’s homes? I never tried that when I was—” He stops. “You could have killed them in their sleep.”

“Why would I do that?”

“I’m just saying they had no way of knowing. I guess you and that meathead priest just looked so honorable and decent they had no choice but to give you their beds.”

Xiao Xingchen rubs his hands together and breaks eye contact. Best not to respond. He’s tired, anyway, worn out from walking all day, the most he’s exerted himself since waking.

But Xue Yang won’t let the subject drop. “I thought you were joking the other night. Have you really never made camp?”

“Not never. I’m just not very good at it. After I lost my eyes, I—”

“Not lost. He took them.” Xue Yang’s eyes blaze as brightly as the fire, compelling Xiao Xingchen to look at them again. “And she let him.”

This Xingchen can’t let slide. “Don’t speak about my master like that.”

“Because you know I’m right? She should have stopped it all. If she really cared about you, she wouldn’t have let it happen. It’s all her fault—” Xue Yang's white face flushes pink, and Xiao Xingchen reaches around the fire to lay a warning hand on his bracer.

“Don’t touch me!” Xue Yang snatches his arm away. “Why the fuck did you something so stupid?”

“You were agitated—”

Xue Yang is on his feet. “I meant the eyes, you fucking idiot! You self-righteous naive fuck—” He kicks at the fire, sending a log into a tree in a shower of sparks. “This is all their fault—”

“ ‘This’?”

“Everything!”

“Had I had eyes, what do you think would have happened when I found you in that ditch?”

“Probably killed me.”

“I would not have killed you.”

Xue Yang laughs, a short harsh bark that's nothing like his usual manic giggle. “Why should I believe you?”

“Because you know me.”

“You saved Chengmei.”

“I saved someone in need.”

“None of it was real. You thought I was someone else!”

“I thought it was someone in need.” Xingchen eyes him evenly. “And I was right.”

Xue Yang’s fists are clenched. “You know what?” he snaps. “Fuck you!”

He storms off into the trees.

Xiao Xingchen turns back to the fire. He’s not sure if he’s pleased at having riled Xue Yang or upset at his reaction.

This is his way of caring—he’s genuinely upset I lost my eyes—

And then, halfheartedly: I shouldn’t care what he thinks.

But pity outweighs disgust, and he’s half numb again, anyway, his mental malaise deadening all confusion.

His fingers are stiff and clumsy the next morning. Xue Yang notices him dropping the razor he uses to shave, but doesn’t say anything, or offer to give him blood.

Or the next day, or the day after that.

In fact, he barely talks at all.

Xiao Xingchen isn’t sure what to do with the silence.

“Where are we going, anyway?” Xue Yang asks finally, the first real thing he’s said all day. They’re night-hunting, or at least trying to. Shuanghua feels strangely unresponsive in his hand. He’s not sure if it’s constantly sensing him as a fierce corpse, blanking out all external demons and ghosts, or if he has lost the right to wield it properly.

"Where are we going?” Xue Yang repeats. “Off to save the world?”

“Something like that.”

“Like you did such a great job the first time.”

Xiao Xingchen stiffens.

Xue Yang smirks, wearing a nastier grin than Xingchen remembers him having ever worn before. “What?” he sneers. “Don’t like hearing the truth?”

“I accomplished more in a single year than you did your entire life,” Xiao Xingchen says quietly.

Xue Yang laughs. Unlike his usual laugh, it’s not a pleasant sound. “You’re right. Slaughtering all those peasants certainly was an accomplishment, all right.”

A stab of anger, but it’s distant, that old malaise having him fully in its grip, and he doesn’t rise to the bait. Too long without blood or yang, but Xue Yang hasn’t offered, and Xiao Xingchen refuses to ask.

“You know what I mean,” he says instead.

Xue Yang looks disappointed at the lack of ire in his voice. “And what does saving the world entail, exactly?”

“Helping people who need it.”

“That’s it?”

“Not murdering people. Doing good where you can. If you truly meant what you said about regretting the things you’ve done, that’s still not enough. You have to perform positive actions as well, not just regret your negative ones. Like what we’re doing now—night-hunting, protecting people.”

Xue Yang doesn’t seem to hear anything after Not murdering people. “Like you’ve never killed anyone? Song Lan was ready to kill me at Chang Manor, no trial, no nothing.”

“And I saved your life, ensured you a trial."

"A trial you knew would end in their gutting me like a pig and hanging my head on Jinlintai's gate as warning. Same as you probably still think I deserve."

"If you want to stop being treated like a monster, simply stop doing monstrous things," Xiao Xingchen says, still with no emotion in your voice. "Twice I saved your life.”

“And did your saving me make the world a better place?” Xue Yang’s voice is rising now. “You hate me. You think the world is worse because I’m alive. How do you know all those people you saved didn’t make the world worse too?”

“I never said I hate you.”

Xue Yang throws his hands up dramatically. Xiao Xingchen thinks he might be doing it intentionally, turning the conversation into something out of a story, a play, something less real, something not involving them as two real people but as two fictional characters.

“ ‘I never said I hate you’!” he mimics, doing a credible imitation of Xingchen’s voice. He was always good at doing the voices for the stories he used to tell nightly. “I suppose you stab people you like, then? You stabbed Song Lan out of affection?”

Xiao Xingchen is about to respond, despite the futility of trying to argue with Xue Yang, but instead he trips over what seems to be nothing, sprawling forward in the dirt as if the earth has reached up to drag him down, claim him, Shuanghua falling from his nerveless fingers.

Xue Yang watches him struggle to his feet, but doesn’t offer his help, and Xiao Xingchen doesn’t ask.

A queasy feeling creeps over him despite his numbness.

He can’t night-hunt. Can’t atone by protecting others.

Can barely stand up.

Useless. One more dead, useless thing.

They encounter a single ghost that night. Xue Yang dispatches it on his own, then turns to grin at Xingchen.

“Guess I’m ahead of you on the saving the world front,” he sneers.

Xingchen refuses to ask for help when he has trouble lying down to sleep that night, or the next morning, when it takes him fifteen minutes to get to his feet, or all that day as he stumbles down the road in an increasingly senseless haze.

They stop at an inn that night. Xue Yang makes all the arrangements while Xiao Xingchen, half-insensible, is propped up at a table.

A familiar huff and, “Do I have to carry you?." Something slipping under his arms, movement.

Something wet in his mouth, someone holding his head up. A finger on his tongue, the taste of copper.

“…most stubborn person I’ve ever met,” Xue Yang is saying as he dabs blood on Xingchen’s tongue. “You should have seen the looks the innkeeper gave me. Like I’d drugged and kidnapped you or something…but no, you couldn’t just ask me. You think I liked traveling around with you tripping over your own feet every two seconds goggling at me like a stunned fish?”

Xiao Xingchen opens his eyes. He’s lying cradled on his back in Xue Yang’s lap on a small bed in a small room. “Where are we?”

“Tanzhou. Here, drink.” He tightens his arm around Xiao Xingchen and holds his other arm up to his mouth. “Stubborn idiot.”

But there’s no venom in his voice. Seeing Xiao Xingchen so vulnerable seems to have induced another of his swift changes of mood. Xiao Xingchen drinks, feeling warmth flow back into his limbs as he greedily sucks at Xue Yang.

“Any better?” asks Xue Yang. He slides out from under Xiao Xingchen and off the bed. “I swear, you’re the most stubborn person I know.”

Xiao Xingchen flexes his fingers. “Do you know many people?”

Xue Yang grins suddenly. It’s his first sincere smile in days. “You have a point there. I’ll be back soon.”

Xiao Xingchen sits up as Xue Yang leaves. He feels stronger than he has in days, but the blood only seems to help nourish his body, not his mind.

He’s too numb to care much about that. He takes out his flute, sits cross-legged on the bed, and begins to play, taking advantage of the nimbleness in his fingers while he can.

He plays until Xue Yang returns. “Don’t stop on my account,” Xue Yang says, seating himself on the edge of the bed. He’s holding a tanghulu and a candle. He sets the candle on the rickety little table wedged beside the bed and starts taking his shoes off. “I mean, you could use more practice, but it’s not terrible.”

Hesitantly, Xiao Xingchen lifts the flute back to his lips. Too many good memories attached to the flute to want to sully them with Xue Yang’s presence. Being taught by Baoshan Sanren, playing for A-Qing and Chengmei—

But he’s still too numb to care much. Or to even enjoy playing, really. He does it anyway, mechanically fingering the holes and producing music without soul.

Xue Yang frowns, noticing, but again doesn’t say anything.

A flicker of thought: I’d rather him yell again.

But he doesn’t care enough to rile Xue Yang, and he’s not about to ask Xue Yang to give him yang or take his yin energy.

Let Xue Yang ask him.

But Xue Yang doesn’t speak, just sits there licking the tanghulu. Slides the whole thing in his mouth, sucking the long carrot-shaped candy with more noise than he absolutely has to, making sure it's audible over the gentle sound of the flute. Slides it out of his mouth, runs his tongue along the slick red length, flicks his tongue over the tip.

Xiao Xingchen feels something stir between his legs. Xue Yang must be doing this on purpose—

A banging on the door makes them both jump. “Shut up in there! It’s the middle of the night!”

Xue Yang opens the door. He’s grinning again, a grin full of sharp teeth.

“ ‘Middle of the night’?” he says to the man in the doorway. Burly, frowning, dressed in expensive-looking robes. “It’s barely nightfall.”

“People are trying to sleep! Shut your racket!”

“ ‘Racket’?” Without any seeming movement, Xue Yang’s knife is in his hand. He taps his chin with it, eyes bright. “Step inside, and we’ll discuss it.”

The man is pushing up his sleeves. “We’ll discuss it, all right—”

Xiao Xingchen gets off the bed and lays a hand on Xue Yang’s shoulder. Xue Yang is trembling with excitement beneath his palm, an alcoholic spotting wine. “Don’t.”

“Don’t discuss things like a rational human being?”

“Don’t kill him.”

“I’d like to see him try!” snaps the man. “Little punk upstart—”

Xue Yang starts forward with a little keening sound, but Xiao Xingchen snatches him back into the room and locks the door. “Remember what I said about not murdering people?”

Xue Yang appears to be almost aroused by the near-violence, nostrils flaring, cheeks pink. “The world would be better off without him! Look at him! We’d be doing everyone a favor!”

Xiao Xingchen gives him a little push towards the bed. “Just sit there quietly and finish sucking on your candy.”

He would wince had he not been so numb. Why had he chosen that word?

Xue Yang grins, pique gone. “I’d rather be sucking on something else, if I’m being honest.”

“A first, for you.”

Xue Yang laughs. “I love when you make jokes. Now come on, aren’t you going to offer me an incentive to stay here and not slit that man from dick to throat?”

Xiao Xingchen pinches his temples. He wants to, as badly as he can want anything in his current state—Xue Yang is licking that candy again, grinning at Xiao Xingchen, and Xingchen does want to push along his improved mood—reward good behavior—

He sits on the edge of the bed. “Fine.”

“ ‘Fine’?”

“You can do what you want.”

Xue Yang’s grin turns into a frown. “That’s all you’re going to say? And I’m not getting on my knees for you.”

Xiao Xingchen rises and undresses, taking off everything but his white inner robe. Despite everything, he’s still not comfortable being fully naked in front of Xue Yang, much as he hungers for his hands on his skin, craves sensation. Xue Yang just stands there, watching him undress, but doesn’t move, a smug look on his face.

“I’m not going to beg, if that’s what you’re implying,” Xingchen says, tilting his head.

Grinning again, Xue Yang takes off his clothes, stripping naked almost defiantly. “I can’t decide if I like you like this, or if it’s just annoying.”

Xiao Xingchen lies on the bed, bending his knees slightly. I truly don’t care what you think, he wants to say, but doesn’t want Xue Yang to pick up on the lie and rub his nose in it.

Xue Yang climbs into bed, kneeling between Xingchen’s legs.

“I thought you weren’t getting on your knees,” says Xiao Xingchen.

Xue Yang rolls his eyes. “I’m leaning towards ‘annoying.’ ”

Xingchen can’t hold in a smile. Xue Yang returns it. “First time you’ve smiled in days,” he says. “Just for that, I won’t make you ask for it.” He reaches down for Xiao Xingchen’s inner robe.

“So you’re just going to go for it?”

“What else do you want?”

It’s so…transactional, but Xiao Xingchen doesn’t know how to put that into words. It’s not like he wants to be seduced, but…

He changes the subject. “You want to take my yin energy?”

“It’s not like it’s poison,” says Xue Yang. Not quite the truth, given its tainted nature, but he seems to believe it in the moment. “Everyone has both. Well, not you, unless I give it to you, but—” He peels back Xiao Xingchen’s inner robe, and Xingchen would blush if he could feel shame. “What did you mean before? What else do you want?”

“Just do it.” Suddenly he wants nothing more than to feel the embarrassment he knows he should be feeling at the sight of Xue Yang pulling his cock out from inside his clothes, closing his mouth around it, licking it. Feel more than pleasure at how his tongue glides over the head. Feel the complicated jumble of emotions he knows should be churning through him, heightening everything, turning the act into more than a physical exchange.

He comes in Xue Yang’s mouth, and suddenly he’s very aware of the candlelight gleaming off his wet cock, of Xue Yang licking his lips and looking up at him, making full eye contact—

He winces and snuffs out the candle. Moonlight illuminates Xue Yang, but at least there’s some darkness to hide—hide whatever the hell this is—

“Feel any better?” Xue Yang whispers. He’s moved up beside Xiao Xingchen, nestled between him and the wall. “Want to yell at me now or something?”

Xiao Xingchen takes a deep breath and sits up. “You almost killed that man—”

“But I didn’t!”

“And you—you—” He squeezes his eyes shut. “You said some awful things to me.”

“You mean—that was days ago.”

“You said awful things,” Xiao Xingchen repeats. His heart is beating faster at the memory. “You said—you said—”

“And you to me. We’re even.”

“We’re…” Xiao Xingchen digs his knuckles in his eyes. “How could we possibly ever—”

“Shh. You’ll bring that oaf back, and I can’t make any promises about not gutting him like a pig.”

"What is it with you and pigs?" And suddenly Xiao Xingchen is laughing. He doesn’t know why. But he is. He hates himself for laughing, and he relishes the disgust, the thousand emotions coursing through him, good and bad.

He feels something against his leg, realizes it’s Xue Yang, making no attempt to hide his arousal.

“What about you?” Xingchen moves his leg slightly against Xue Yang.

“I’m fine.”

“I could use yang energy, not just getting rid of the tainted yin…”

Xue Yang’s voice is suddenly teasing. “Ask nicely.”

“Oh, stop that already!”

Xue Yang laughs, vibrating against Xiao Xingchen’s body. “I don’t know, maybe I do like you like this, daozhang. Feisty.” He slides a hand around Xiao Xingchen, tracing the muscles of his chest. “What do you want to do?”

Xiao Xingchen blushes. He’s not sure why it’s more embarrassing to be asked what he wants than to simply have things done to him without discussion, but it is. This is how it’s supposed to be, he knows. But he still can’t bring himself to speak.

He bites his lip as Xue Yang’s hand drifts lower. He’s still sensitive, and he grabs Xue Yang’s hand before it can reach his cock. Xue Yang pulls away and begins tracing circles on his stomach, fingers soft through the silk.

“What do normal people do?” Xingchen asks.

Xue Yang laughs. He’s nuzzling Xiao Xingchen’s throat, and Xingchen, after days of numbness, enjoys the little puff of warm air on his skin. “How should I know?”

“What have you…what have you done before? With other people?”

Xue Yang’s hand stops moving. “You wouldn’t want to hear about that.”

“Because you did something terrible?”

“Am I the only one in the world who’s capable of terrible things?”

Xingchen feels a pang of pity. He savors the pity, savors the irritation at himself for feeling pity, then savors the annoyance at his own irritation, because he should feel pity, should feel mercy. “Why don’t you try the things you wanted them to have done?”

“I don’t want to stop.” The way I wanted them to stop.

Xingchen feels a chill, then turns and kisses Xue Yang softly on the lips. “How about that?” he murmurs. “Those other times I did that, did you want me to stop? That time in the stream, I…” I have no framework to work in, he wants to say. You were my first and only. You had something I needed, and I didn't care about hurting you, after everything you'd done to me. I should have known better, never should have done something like that—

“I could have stopped you if I wanted," says Xue Yang.

“I still…I still shouldn’t have—”

"I liked it. Stop talking about it." Xue Yang kisses him back, long and deep, hands tangled in Xiao Xingchen’s hair. He moves to straddle Xiao Xingchen, laying his full weight on him, gently exploring his mouth.

“You can do more if you want,” Xingchen whispers.

“You’re really after my cum, aren’t you.”

“Don’t say it like that. And no. I just feel like…well, it should be reciprocal. I don’t like the idea of you losing yang, not that I like the idea of giving you tainted yin, either—”

“I brought you back, you’re my responsibility now. Like owning a chicken.”

Xiao Xingchen laughs. “A chicken?”

“A tame dove. That better?”

“A crane, I would think.”

“A crane,” Xue Yang corrects himself. Xiao Xingchen wants to say something about how he wouldn’t trust Xue Yang to take care of any living thing but then remembers how tender he was taking care of him. Besides, he doesn’t want to hurt Xue Yang, not right now.

Selfish, most probably. Most definitely.

This is Xue Yang.

I have to do this, he reminds himself. I have no choice. My dying now would help nobody...

A flimsy excuse, and he knows it.

But perhaps he can afford to be selfish.

Just for a few minutes.

He traces the sharp ridges of Xue Yang’s collarbones, distinct in the blue moonlight. The same face that was the last thing countless people had ever seen.

The last thing Song Lan had ever seen.

“I have some oil in my sleeve,” Xue Yang says.

“Of course you do... What do you want to do?"

“I’m already in you. My blood, I mean. But I’d rather you be in me…” Xue Yang stops. “Fully, I mean, not like just now…”

“I can, if you want, but not tonight. You already took enough yin.”

“Whatever you want.” Xue Yang is stroking the skin on Xiao Xingchen’s inner thigh, hesitantly. “Can I…”

“Yes.”

Xue Yang’s finger brushes Xiao Xingchen’s entrance. “That alright?”

“It…” It feels nice, Xiao Xingchen wants to say, but is suddenly bashful. They’d done this before, but somehow this time feels different.

But Xue Yang hesitates again, as if he too feels that something has changed.

“Here.” Xiao Xingchen rolls him over on his back, looking down at him in the moonlight. Xue Yang seems more comfortable looking up at him, relaxing under him. “Better? Here…” He grips Xue Yang’s cock gently, sliding it inside him. “That feel alright? I forgot the oil—”

Xue Yang takes a deep breath. “It’s fine. You’re already kind of slippery. Must be from me earlier.”

Xiao Xingchen thinks about that for a fraction of a second. He’s been taking a sponge bath every night, ridding himself of the soft, sweet-smelling film he keeps finding on his skin, finds clinging to his razor after shaving.

What if that odd film is inside him too?

Xue Yang rocks his hips slightly, making a little keening noise, and Xiao Xingchen forgets about the film. Slowly he begins to move. It’s easier to angle himself properly when he’s on top, and this way he can lean forward and plant kisses along Xue Yang’s jaw, his throat, his collarbone, the sigil on his chest.

Xue Yang grips his arms, craning his neck, exposing it to Xingchen’s lips. He nips slightly at it, sucking bruises into his throat between the bandages covering the mostly healed bite mark on his neck, breaking the skin over his collarbone. A few red pearls of blood rise from the tiny bite marks, and he licks them without thinking—

Then jerks away. “I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have—”

Xue Yang’s eyes are closed. “Go ahead,” he murmurs.

“I should have asked first—”

Xue Yang opens his eyes. “I know you wouldn't hurt me.”

Wincing, Xiao Xingchen reaches down, touches the scar Shuanghua had left on Xue Yang’s stomach. “You’re not a jar of wine. Despite everything, you’re still a human being.”

“ ‘Despite everything.’ ” Xue Yang swallows hard, looking away. The sigil on his chest is glowing, casting an eerie light over his too-pale skin. “Just drink it.”

Xiao Xingchen is still moving, very slowly. He wants to stop, all lust gone, but is suddenly desperate for the yang energy. “Xue Yang, if I ever take too much, or hurt you, you need to tell me.”

If you die, I die, he wants to add. Just to hear the words aloud, make sure he, Xiao Xingchen, the bright moon and gentle breeze, remembers why he’s doing this.

Xue Yang twists under him. “Alright, I get it. Either fuck me, or get off.”

Xiao Xingchen stops. “Why do you have to put it like that?”

“What, are we making love? Fuck, I know that’s not how it works!” He grabs Xiao Xingchen’s shoulder, pulling him deeper onto him, and begins thrusting up into him, hard. “Don’t try to pret—”

“Stop!” Xiao Xingchen pins him back on the bed. It’s an effort, Xue Yang’s thrusting reaching the bundle of nerves deep inside him, and he suddenly craves the friction again. “Did you listen to a word I said? I—oh, just let me do this, all right?”

Xue Yang rolls his eyes, then closes them as if unwilling to look at Xiao Xingchen and bites his lip.

He draws blood.

Frowning, Xiao Xingchen leans forward to kiss Xue Yang, sucking on his lip, relishing the way the blood tingles on his tongue as Xue Yang rocks up into him.

Xue Yang reaches out, slides his fingers through his hair, and suddenly Xiao Xingchen is filled with heat, the world, already sharp, bursting into full color, and he comes again, splattering Xue Yang's stomach with blood.

He rolls over but stays locked together with Xue Yang, drawing his blood out through his lip. They remain like that, Xiao Xingchen lapping gently at the blood welling from his mouth, Xue Yang softening inside him, until Xue Yang’s breathing grows slow and steady. He feels a tendril of contentment that’s not fully his curl into him, soothing him.

“Xue Yang?” he murmurs. “Are you alright?”

He thrills at the sound of his own words. “Xue Yang? Are you alright?” He suddenly wants to have sex again, fully savor the conflicted emotions he can now fully feel—the disgust, the arousal, the pity, the mingled hatred and affection—but despite it all, he’d meant everything he had said before, and is gentle when he eases Xue Yang out of him and touches his shoulder. “Xue Yang?”

Xue Yang is asleep.

Xiao Xingchen lies there for what seems like hours, watching him sleep, that odd, almost external sense of contentment slipping away as his body absorbs Xue Yang’s blood. Again he’s struck by how young and innocent he looks despite him now being older than Xingchen, despite having the blood of countless people under his nails.

Xingchen wakes long before him the next morning. He lets him sleep.

“I took too much blood,” Xiao Xingchen says as they lie there. “You have to tell me when to stop.”

Xue Yang blinks, looking out the window. The sun is high in the sky. He sits up, lip puffy. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“You looked like you needed the rest," he says, and Xue Yang's eyes widen. He can't remember if he ever let Xue Yang sleep in during the old days in Yi City, that this should have such an impact now. "I told you. You can’t let me take so much blood.”

“I gave it to you.”

Xiao Xingchen sighs. “We should get moving.”

Xue Yang rolls out of bed. “I’ll go downstairs, get some food. Get you some water to wash with. Be back in a second.”

He’s only been gone a few minutes when the man from the other night opens the door Xue Yang hadn’t closed fully. He eyes the tousled bed clothes of the single bed, and grins.

“I thought so,” he said, sniffing the air. “Fucking perverts.”

Xiao Xingchen gets out of bed. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave, sir.”

The words sound alien. This is the first person he’s spoken to other than Xue Yang.

It feels...wrong.

The man laughs in his face. “That all you going to say?”

“Please leave, sir. I’m not here to pick a fight.”

“But I am,” says a voice behind the man, and suddenly the man is on his knees, clutching at his ankles with an agonized cry.

Xue Yang grins, gripping a knife. “He bothering you?”

Xiao Xingchen stares open-mouthed. “What did you do?”

“Just nicked his tendons.” Xue Yang rolls the whimpering man into the room with his foot and shuts the door, then bends down and cuts out his tongue with a quick flip of his wrist. “Good thing I forgot my coin purse.”

“You—you—” Xingchen eyes Xue Yang’s victim in horror. The man is gripping his throat, choking on the blood spurting from his mouth, horrific burbling sounds coming from his throat.

“Oh, please. Killing him would improve the world.”

“Killing him?”

Xue Yang’s eyes are bright, body trembling in excitement. “I thought you wanted to make the world better?”

“Not by killing him!”

“Kind of too late. He’ll bleed out soon. I mean, I can always pin a blood-clotting talisman to him, but it will probably cause a stroke.” He produces a blank yellow talisman. “Or I can fix it so you can absorb his yin before he dies.”

“No! That’s—would that work?”

Xue Yang shrugs. “It’s worth a shot, if you don’t want to take my blood.” He touches the sigil on his chest, as if to say, We’re already bound, but..., and Xiao Xingchen has a sudden flashback to him raising his bound hands after his capture at the Chang Manor: “Don’t forget about me…”

“He wasn’t part of our ritual,” Xue Yang shrugs, “but I can fix it so you can take what he has if you don’t want mine.”

“It’s not that I don’t want your blood, it’s that—what am I saying? This man is bleeding out on our floor! Try the talisman!”

“The yin talisman?”

“The blood-clotting talisman! Quickly!”

“Alright, alright.” Grinning, Xue Yang nudges the man’s throat with his foot. “What’s your name, my fat friend?”

“We don’t have time for this!”

“I need it for the talisman!”

"You’re stalling!”

“I’m not stalling! These are my own design! I need his name.” Xue Yang crouches before the man, who’s lying on his side, blood bubbling over the floor. He pats him cheerfully on the cheek with his knife and pulls him up by his hair. “What’s your name? Wang? Liu? Chen?” He looks up at Xiao Xingchen, innocent as as lamb. “He’s not cooperating.”

“You cut out his tongue!”

“He basically asked me to.” Xue Yang is laughing. He seems more… alive than Xiao Xingchen has seen him in a while. Beautiful, in fact...

Xiao Xingchen takes a second to enjoy the half-arousing feeling of revulsion he’s inspired in himself, then shakes his head. “This is not what we discussed.”

“This is exactly what we discussed!” Little spots of color spot Xue Yang's white cheeks. “I saw his wife downstairs. She has a black eye. Looked fresh. If you had let me kill him last night, that would never have happened!"

It’s too late to save the man, blood-clotting talisman or no blood-clotting talisman.

The man looks up at Xiao Xingchen pleadingly, skin ashen, shaking.

"Who knows when killing someone is wrong? Or right? Nobody can tell, so why bother trying?”

Xiao Xingchen takes the knife from Xue Yang and slits the man’s jugular.

The man bleeds out within seconds, sprawling forward on the floor when Xue Yang releases his hair.

Xue Yang looks up at Xingchen, eyes like stars. “I forgot how beautiful you are when you kill.”

“Why—why would you think that was something appropriate to say to me right now? I—all I want to do is help people, but you—you made me kill again—”

Xue Yang looks confused. “You helped his wife. And he deserved it.”

“You’ve done far worse than what he did! Does that mean I should kill you?”

Xue Yang shrugs. “We’ve already been over this. Are we all packed? Guess we’re leaving through the window. Unless—” He hooks a finger in the neck of Xiao Xingchen’s robe, grinning. “How about it?”

Xiao Xingchen shoves him away. “What is wrong with you?!”

Xue Yang’s grin disappears. “Oh, like you don’t want to!”

“I just killed a man!”

“Exactly. Get off your high horse.”

“It was a mercy killing because of what you did—”

“I guess you’re right. Better hoof it before they notice the blood dripping through these shoddy floorboards.”

Xiao Xingchen doesn’t look at the body as they fly down from the window and head down the road.

Again.

Xue Yang has made him kill again—

He can’t risk night-hunting again, not unless he does it immediately after sex and blood-drinking. Can’t save people like he used to.

Can’t atone.

And now, not only is he useless, he’s actively harming people—

“You should have seen his wife,” Xue Yang says. “Face all puffed up like A-Qing’s when she ate that walnut. Are you angry?”

“Of course I’m angry!”

“Like, angry in a fun way?”

Xiao Xingchen laughs. He doesn’t want to laugh, but he hasn’t had a proper handle on his emotions since coming back to life. Either he’s too numb, or his feelings are too intense, or they’re not fully his own. “No.”

“You laughed.”

Xiao Xingchen gets himself under control. “What you did was wrong.”

“You should have seen the wife—”

“How do I know there even was a wife?” He regrets the words the moment they leave his mouth and the smile disappears from Xue Yang’s face. “I mean—”

“You don’t believe me.”

“I…”

“I did what you asked! I improved the world! Had I killed him last night when I wanted to, his wife would have been spared. So who was really right? Not you. And besides, he called you a pervert. What was I supposed to do?”

“You mean, he called you a pervert. By extension.”

“He called you a pervert,” Xue Yang insists.

Xiao Xingchen rubs his temples. “From now on, if you’re going to kill someone, you get my approval first.”

“Technically, you killed—fine. I’ll be quiet.” Xue Yang walks a bit faster.

He’s back to himself by evening, rattling on as if nothing had happened. Xiao Xingchen doesn’t say another word about the dead man, either. What can he say? If Xue Yang was telling the truth, man’s death had made the world a better place.

He just wishes it hadn’t been him who had delivered that final blow.

Xingchen’s fault, the whole thing. No more letting Xue Yang out of his sight. No more letting him roam around on his own.

If we’re busy having sex, he won’t be off killing people.

Xiao Xingchen has a sudden vision of them having sex in the room with that dead body, drinking from the man's throat while thrusting into Xue Yang, and is confused by the mixture of lust and disgust tingling along his spine. Not at the emotions themselves—lust and disgust have been his constant companions since waking—but at how much the thought of drinking blood from anyone other than Xue Yang repulses him.

He rubs the sigil branded into his chest.

Xue Yang must have known it would repulse him. Must have simply been testing him with the idea of blood from that man—

Xue Yang turns to wave at him to walk faster, and Xiao Xingchen gives up. No point in trying to puzzle it all out, figure out what Xue Yang did not did not know or intend or want. He’s not sure Xue Yang himself knows half the time.

Which is…exciting, if he’s being honest. It was the same way with Chengmei.

Except then there was no perverted morals or internal turmoil. Just companionship tinged with slight confusion over how attached he had gotten to Chengmei, and how quickly.

It hadn’t been romantic, he tells himself. Nothing near it. They had shared a bed, but that was all. They’d had to huddle together for warmth, so waking up with Chengmei wrapped around him was simply out of habit, even in summer. He’d fixed Chengmei’s hair every morning, and Chengmei often touched his arm and waist and knee, but that meant nothing…

Nothing.

They stop for the night in the forest. There’s a village nearby, but Xue Yang, practiced at fleeing from crime scenes, votes not to attempt it, and Xiao Xingchen has no desire to approach people, and not just because of what had happened in the inn.

Xiao Xingchen glances at his hands as they settle down. For now they’re strong enough to grip a sword, but he still wouldn’t trust himself on a night-hunt, and he’s kept Shuanghua in his qiankun pouch.

He hopes Xue Yang doesn’t suggest one. Rub in the fact that Xingchen is near useless…

It’s warm that night, but Xue Yang sleeps in his full robes, with Jiangzai drawn beside him. He’s never quite at ease while sleeping outside, Xiao Xingchen notices. Hasn’t truly been relaxed since they left the Coffin House, except when he was bent over that man.

Lips parted. Eyes sparkling—

He dwells on that thought as he stares up at the stars, glimmering brightly through the treetops against the deep purple sky. How beautiful Xue Yang looked. How animated. The bringer of so much death, yet so alive—

He rolls over and kisses Xue Yang. Enjoys the softness of his lips, the heat of his tongue, the way Xue Yang melts into him.

Enjoys feeling like an ordinary human being, not like a cultivator or a corpse.

Xue Yang often makes him feel like that, he realizes as kisses him. Like an ordinary human being with regrets and wants and conflicting thoughts and feelings. Treats him like an imperfect being, at least in this new second life. Fights with him, yells at him, throws tantrums and argues with him.

He likes it more than he should. He shouldn't relish being seen for the imperfect being that he is—should want to be held to a higher standard—

He dwells on this thought, knows the sex will be made more potent by the disgust he feels at himself, until Xue Yang's tongue and hands drive all thought from his mind.

It’s slow and lazy, with Xiao Xingchen on top. He drinks from Xue Yang’s arm as he rocks into him, letting his lip and collarbone heal. He’s careful not to take too much blood, just enough to keep him balanced the next day.

"You can take more if you want," Xue Yang whispers. "Take whatever you need..."

He falls asleep curled up beside Xue Yang, boneless and relaxed, but Xue Yang still sleeps with one hand on Jiangzai.

They travel for two weeks like that, sleeping under the stars.

Night-hunting, a few times. Or what Xue Yang refers to as night-hunting. Xingchen is of little use, even directly after sex and blood. He can take care of himself, but as far as taking on direct threats, or protecting Xue Yang—

“We’ll get you back up to full strength,” promises Xue Yang after he kills a spirit beast entirely on his own. “We’ll have you laying waste to the local demons in no time.”

Xiao Xingchen nods. He wishes he had put it another way. Laying waste. Destroying things...

He’d never balked at killing creatures that needed killing. Relished it, if anything. Shifu had spoken to him about it a few times, tried to help him reconcile his merciless half with the half that was almost too compassionate.

But now, when he was closer to fierce corpse than a living thing himself—

He wants to give life. Not take it.

But they're both happy enough, for the most part.

The first shadow is cast when they stop by a village to replenish their supplies.

“Take two eggplants,” urges the old man at the produce stall. “You boys look pale.”

“I didn’t ask you,” Xue Yang snaps. Seconds before he had been smiling, looking around for a stall that sold candy, but now his knife is out. “Just give me the fucking eggplant!”

“I beg your pardon, sir,” Xiao Xingchen says quickly, bowing. The words are heavy on his tongue. He hasn’t spoken to anyone other than Xue Yang since that terrible night in Tanzhou, and with Xue Yang there's no need to be artificially polite. He’s feeling jumpy surrounded by all these people, and his gait is unsteady, the world somewhat…not blurred, exactly, but distant. As if his knowing he does not belong where people live has created a physical barrier in the air, something preventing him from reaching out and touching the things around him. “He didn’t mean it.”

“ ‘I beg your pardon, sir,’ ” Xue Yang mimics as they walk away from the stall.

“Why was that your reaction to kindness?”

“He was just trying to make a sale.”

“He was trying to give you one for free.”

“Oh?” Xue Yang glances over his shoulder. “You wait here. I’ll go get another.”

“I’ll come with you—”

Xue Yang forcibly seats him on a broken-down fence in an alley. “You look like you’re about to pass out. Stay here.”

Xiao Xingchen tries to follow him, but it’s so hot, and his legs heavy, as if they’re not attached properly at the joints—

He glances around the alley. The crowded buildings look almost—wobbly—

He closes his left eye. There. Slightly better…

Xue Yang returns, whistling, cheerful again. “All ready,” he says. “Let’s go.”

“What’s that sound?”

Xue Yang glances over his shoulder at the commotion rising from the marketplace. “Oh, just some bandits.”

“Just some bandits?”

Xue Yang hauls him to his feet. “There’s no real government in place around here, not since the war. Just a lot of squabbling little sects. Come on. We don’t want to get caught up in this. Well, you wouldn’t, anyway.”

Xiao Xingchen takes a few steps, but the heat is making it hard to move quickly.

A man appears at the end of the alley, holding a long thin knife.

“Don’t!” says Xiao Xingchen when Xue Yang draws Jiangzai.

Huffing in annoyance, Xue Yang grabs him by the hand and flies over the rooftops. As they fly over the town they have a full view of the bandits ransacking the marketplace—

So Xue Yang had been telling the truth. A part of Xingchen had assumed Xue Yang had done something to cause the commotion.

He takes a closer look as they fly past, squinting. The old man from before lies slumped over his produce stall, blood staining the flagstones.

“Stop!” Xiao Xingchen clutches at Xue Yang’s arm. "They need help!"

“Make up your mind, dammit!” Xue Yang drops him on a roof and remains balanced on Jiangzai. “Are you telling me I can do what I need to do?”

“There has to be a sect around here somewhere, go find them, they can arrest them—”

“Yeah, good luck with that.” Xue Yang dives down into the marketplace, laughing, both of Jiangzai’s blades extended.

Xiao Xingchen drags himself to the edge of the roof. The tiles are like a griddle, and all around him is that same sweet smell from the Coffin House courtyard.

Which is quickly overwhelmed by the scent of blood, thick on the humid air. It envelopes him as Jiangzai whirls around Xue Yang, slaughtering the bandits like he’s harvesting wheat.

Xiao Xingchen watches, left eye covered. He counts eighteen bandits total, rapidly reduced to seventeen, then sixteen, then fifteen—

He wants to cry out for Xue Yang to stop, but all he can do is watch as Xue Yang slaughters them all. Not efficiently. Nowhere near efficiently.

He’s enjoying himself.

This is what he looked like as he turned the Chang Clan and Baixue Temple into slaughterhouses, Xingchen thinks as he watches Xue Yang, Jiangzai spinning so fast his one good eye can’t follow it, deftly cutting and slashing and thrusting with a brutal elegance, lopping off an arm there, a leg there. A predator playing with its food.

This is Xue Yang in his element. Xiao Xingchen can pretend he domesticated him, but he knows it’s a lie.

Xue Yang laughs as he kills the last bandit, his half-hysterical giggle floating up on the scent of blood, wrapping around Xiao Xingchen, and all Xingchen can think of is the last time he heard him laugh like that. Of Xue Yang’s manic laughter as he taunted him: “ ‘Save the world’? What a joke! You can’t even save yourself! Xiao Xingchen, you achieved nothing! A complete failure. You brought this on yourself! You deserve it!”

He drags himself forward, needing to see Xue Yang’s face, see how he had looked as he watched Xiao Xingchen kill Song Lan—

The last thing he remembers is falling off the edge of the roof.

****

Enjoy? AO3!

[interstellarre]

Delve In The Depths. Chapter II.

Word Count. 1.5k

a/n. Just a quick btw, Meno gave Xiao the nickname "Emerald duck" because emerald ducks have greenish teal stripes on their heads and Xiao has teal undertones in his hair.

Trigger Warnings. Mentions of death and violence

Series Masterlist

Chapter II.

Again and again these waves crash over Xiao's subconscious. Riptides of lost human dreams, the tsunamis of guilt, and the eons of pain build each other up, growing larger as they drown him in endless suffering. Waves of black vapor cloud his person. He clutches his mask

He can hear their screams now as he writhes on the top floor of Wangshu Inn in agony, barely supporting the weight of his body with his arms leaning on the balcony rails.

"Xiao, Xiao!" he turns his head to see Verr Goldet franticly searching for him.

"There's someone downstairs, the-they, Verr Goldet stutters on her words, waving her arms around unlike her usual composed self.

Xiao doesn't wait for to finish, he grabs his pole arm by reflex prepared to strike the threat down.

Instead he's met with a person grappling with pain on the floor.

"Why slime condensate exactly?"

"Hm?" Xiangling gives you a genuinely confused look despite it not exactly being the social norm to add slime liquids to a meal. She was climbing up a sandbearer tree. The striped squirrels on the ground scatter upon her arrival.

"What gave you the idea to add slime into your dishes?" you clarify, trying not to come off as rude. Tossing the wicker basket between your hands as a form of entertainment while your culinary friend ducked her head underneath a branch.

The trees ruffle and flocks of crimson flinches and golden flinches fly off to the sky as Xiangling forages around in the tree branches for bird eggs.

"What gave you the idea that not everything is edible?" she playfully teases, now placing bird eggs by sets of two in the basket she previously gave you in Wanmin Restaurant.

You giggle, covering your hands with your mouth. She motions for you to put the basket down and come over while she grabs you by the shoulders ("Don't you dare-") and hops down. Unfortunately, you aren't heavy enough to support her body weight when she jumps down with her full force.

"Ugh!" you groan as you both tumble down to the floor. You raise a hand to your head and cover your forehead. "Was that really necessary?" you sigh, already far too used to her antics. She snickers.

As you regain your footing, you ask, "How far along are we exactly? My mother will have an aneurysm if we step foot in Moon City.*" Xiangling had already run off, and with the basket no doubt.

You look to your right and find her by the lake counting hydro slimes behind a crack between a few slabs of stone. You crouch down besides her. Her charcoal hair brushes against your mulberry silk skirt.

"1,2,3,4." Yes! this is definitely enough for my new dish!" she pumps her fist in the air.

You don't remember there being a lake to the far right in the places your mother told you to stick to.

"Let me guess," you strike a thinking pose, you want me to set up a new shop here for your new culinary competition?" you sarcastically muse.

She rolls her eyes. "No, silly I-," she stops at your amused expression. "Ah- well go on than."

You reach your arm to summon your now unsheathed dagger attached to the leather belt on your waist, ignoring the long bow and arrows attached on your back and rather choosing a melee weapon,

Standing up from your hiding spot, the group hydro slime flock, well bounce towards you.

The air turns frosty and Xiangling's teeth chatter while she rubs her arms in hopes of warming up. "Don't turn me into a chef popsicle before I get the slime condensate [Name]!"

As you kneel down to slam the stiletto dagger into sand, sharp edged flower patterns appear on the ground. The slimes teeter back at the sound chill between their mass before large icicles spring up, piercing their bodies and turning them into goo.

"Woo!" Xiangling jumps above the rock pile and excitedly cheers. Pumping her arms up. "That's my girl!"

"It was nothing really. What was it you needed next again? Of course after you've collected the slime condensate of course." you stop talking as Xiangling sweeps the slightly frozen slime fluids off the crystals you've created into a glass bottle.

"Well talking about other ingredients, I actually wanted to try something." she mentions with a certain twinkle in her eyes.

"You have my attention." You wave your hand at her to go on.

"You know that cooking competition? The one I had in the Mondstadt with the chef named Brooke?"

"I don't recall you telling me that, can you specify?" racking your brain for memories of Xiangling's rantings about food. You suddenly feel drops of sweat on your back despite not being lukewarm at the very best. It must just be from the excitement from fighting the slimes, you think pushing away your other thoughts on the matter.

"Well anyways, we found this extinct species of boar with the help of the traveler, I believe they're called the honorary knight now?" she taps her chin. "That's besides the point but, anyways, it made me think of the different varieties of possible meat options I could use with different monsters. Can you go with me north of Jueyun Karst with me to find a Stonehide Lawachurl?" She claps her hands together into a begging motion. "Please, Please?"

"Mhm, I'm not sure how fast we can make it there? You didn't hear my question before when I was asking where we were before. I'm planning on packing my bags early when I go home overmorrow." you say counting the possible time it would take you to pack all your belongings. Black spots appear in your vision. You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.

"Hmm, I'd say if we're lucky, a few hours? It's lucky that it's still the early morning huh?" Xiangling turned her attention to you from the mushrooms she was picking underneath the trees.

"[Name]?"

She looks over to see you on your knees, black substance withering out of your body. Sweat drips down your forehead.

She frantically shakes you, but your vision has gone black.

"[Name]!"

The blood on Bosacius' arm dripped to the ground creating a thin string trailing only to be diluted by the pouring rain water behind Bosacius and a certain teal haired adeptus. Bosacius gripped his injured arm with his other.

"You need to treat that wound," Xiao said, glaring at his fellow adeptus' wound. He could see the majority of Bosacius bone creeping out of his flesh. A familiar sight.

"Rest assured, I've been in worse state. I just never expect it to hurt as much as it always does," grimaced Bosacius through his smiling expression. The water soaked through his garments and drenched his hair.

"You sound like one of those mortals, trying to fight through their deathly injuries only not to see the next day," replied Xiao looking forward to their destination of Jueyun Karst. He could see the towering peaks getting larger and larger as they move on despite the misty atmosphere.

"We're all too mortal for our liking these days." said Bosacius, his expression unreadable.

The sound of steps softly crushing the blades of grass underneath them and thunder rumbling filled the air while their owners remained silent.

"Have you told Rex Lapis about the constant pain you've been experiencing?" said Xiao, breaking the silence.

Bosacius bit his bottom lip while his working hands, well, what was left of them tensed up. "No, I didn't see the need to bother him. I'm sure he has other pressing matters to attend to now, especially with the incline in aggression from monsters around Liyue Harbor recently. It's strange," The older man looked up to the sky, while Xiao had a distracted look on his face from thinking about the increased monster attacks. "I have yet to figure out the cause behind it."

"I believe Cloud Retainer and Mountain Shaper are free this evening, I'll ask them for their input on the situation later."

They had arrived at Jueyun Karst, the floating island in the middle of the adepti abode was lit up, symbolizing the availability of Cloud Retainer.

"I'd imagine we don't have the need to place an offering in the middle of the lake huh?" Bosacius winks at Xiao. Xiao looks down at the lake, full of ripple currently from the cloudburst. The empty bowl in the middle overflowed with liquid.

Bosacius gave a forced smile at his correct prediction of their fellow adepti's availability. "Well, I suppose it's best for me to head off and find Indarias to heal my wounds."

"That would be for the best." confirmed Xiao

"Thank you for accompanying me for this trip."

Xiao turned his back and Bosacius was gone

"Hey! Emerald duck!"

Xiao swore he heard the inter layers of hell again as he pinched the bridge of his nose

"Oh archons," he cursed under his breath. Menogias tumbled towards him, no grace or posture in her current childlike state.

*Moon City refers to Mondstadt as Mondstadt translates to Moon City in German.

a/n. Incase anyone was wondering the reader's constellation is "The Maiden" or "Virgo". I'm planning on making a character sheet for the reader soon, so watch out for that!

[mxchowind]

Words Unspoken

Xiao x reader

Warnings: angst/fluff???

This is my second fic! I decided to go with xiao because he really appeals to me as of late and so baby too- ;; i changed up the reason to why he’s fond of almond tofu too for the content- anyways i hope i didnt write him too ooc- if i did, i apologise deeply,, enjoy!

He had known. 

Mortals were nothing but lights that faded away with the time’s span. He knew, of course. The ‘Mighty’ and ‘Illuminated’ Guardian Yaksha, names given to him that don’t mean a mere mora.

To him, you meant the most. Though the man would never admit himself, or did he?

Time erased pain.

But never had it healed his scars. What a lie it has been. 

Xiao hid, from all that seeked. From all of the memories of you. To think, he was such a dense, foolish idiot- an idiot who loved you. And still do, he’d like to believe. 

-

Of course- out of all, tonight’s wind blows gently. He dislikes it, the tranquillity all resembles you too much. The gentle-living spirit you were- once. Upon his very wish Xiao finds himself asking, begging for you to come back.

But a replacement? He never asked.

Lumine’s arrival sure had people in favour, and people starts to dot and comment on how similar you and her are. Both spirits of freedom and love, supposedly that is said. He didn’t like that.

You were, and still are special, even if that no longer lingered in anyone else.

The ever so radiant smile of yours could warm any cold heart up, that, he has experienced first-hand. A dangerous adepti, they say? None of that was him in your mind. The time you two had spent together, under countless stars beneath the vast expand of skies, were always cherished by both. His eyes soften at the very thought of you- though sorrows come right after. 

Lumine is a different case, however.

All the times she tried to please him to get information- it’s different. The aura she gives off is nothing subtle as yours, and warm too. Your scent is much more pleasant to him, or perhaps just the thought of you brings a slight smile to his stone-cold face. Xiao could go on and on about you to anyone, really, but he won’t.

It pains him to think back to that eventful night-

When all was lost.

-

You had lived long enough to withstand- let alone, battles. But this one was quite the fate-changer. The one that left you in blood and tears, not your own but his. That desperate look on his delicate face- by Archons, Xiao has such pretty features you’d wonder he should like to be working in a tavern for the girls. 

All jokes aside, regret fuelled.

Of course, once again you decided to leave his field of vision, dealing with the terror of a creature on your own. Not that he disapproves, you were outright a swordswoman, gifted with the blessings of Anemo, like his own. Dealing with such small amounts wouldn’t be an issue normally, as you often received commissions. Only if you had known..

..when the reinforcements came.

-

‘‘Hey!! Are you even paying attention??’’

The small pixie screams in his ears, wincing in pain from the high-pitched voice she possesses. Expression stonic, the ravenette decides to ignore her fully. What was that? Flashbacks of what seemed to be thousands of years ago-

Then Xiao suddenly realises. It was when he lost you. 

Pain, pain, pain. Kill them, kill everyone.

Thoughts racing through his mind- it takes a while, and enormous strength to resist, before his eyes land on her. Lumine. 

‘‘What do you want? I don’t have time to spare for foreign travellers.’’ 

As cold as he blurts those words out, he means it. No, he cannot withstand the sight of them for any longer- the memories flooding back to his mind, no matter how much he tries to push away. It hurts, he wants someone to cling onto, and he knows, the only one to do it would be you.

‘‘We’re not looking for trouble! The boss lady said you know something about what is happening recently- we brought this!’’ Lumine chirps, handing him the freshly made Almond Tofu.

No, please. No. 

-

It was a breezy afternoon, the wind blowing past your hair gently, directing your way to him. Recently you discovered this new recipe- and couldn’t wait for him to try it out. As you hummed a tune, ever so lively, filled with life, Xiao waited for you patiently. You two were often sighted together on the top of Wangshu Inn, and you were said to be the only one who would make the Adepti smile, even if it was a little. It was true, your smile could brighten anyone’s day up, even the dangerous man. 

‘‘Xiao! Look!’’

‘‘Calm yourself first.’’

You gave an apologetic smile, before the brand new dish got shoved into his face. At first, he looked away- what new recipe might you have stirred this time? But the scent of said food filled his mind as you picked up the spoon, scooping some.

‘‘Have a try!’’

‘‘.. I have hands, too.’’

In all reality, he was embarrassed. Without a further thought he picked up from where you left off, and swallowed the tofu whole. It tasted- gentle. Almost as if you poured your heart into making such a dish. Its almond flavoured taste lingered on his tongue for a while more, before eagerly scooping another spoonful. 

You smiled. His facade was worn off, and Xiao right then was just Xiao. His duties forgotten, his raging heart calmed, and he was just Xiao, someone who longed for more and more time to be with you, and to have more of this delicious plate too. 

Your laugh echoed in his mind.

That was when he chose Almond Tofu over every other dish. It was because of you. Only if time allowed you two to dance in everlasting joy. 

It didn’t.

-

‘‘Stop spacing out!!!!’’

This annoying pest, the ravenette curses without fear. As Xiao turns his gaze finally back on track, he realises that you’ve been on his mind more than ever today. Why is that? Is it because he can’t stand people comparing you with Lumine- 

Never. You can never be compared with her. You’re- far more- dear.

‘‘So, Xiao, what would you do about this situation right now? The Moon Carver sent me.’’

Instead of being content to help, he turns his eyes away. 

‘‘I am no longer interested in being in contact with mortals. Go.’’

Any other day Xiao would give a gratified reply, but not today. You’re simply occupying his mind too much, perhaps this is it. He still wants to remember- 

Go away. Go away. Please.

Stop, stop it. Stop coming back. 

‘‘Geez, what a let-down!! Let’s go for now, Lumine,’’ At least that little thing knows what not. They took their leave in silence,

Just like you did. 

-

It rained.

It rained, as if the whole world cried. 

With blurred vision, monsters easily took you down no matter how much effort was made to struggle. That, he knows.

He wasn’t strong enough to protect you. He failed. 

Let alone, you were the last person he wanted to lose. 

Blood, blood, blood.

Blood everywhere. Blood coated you. Recalling, when Xiao turned around to see such a sight- his eyes widened in shock-

Don’t leave, please.

At least not yet, not when he didn’t make clear of his feelings-

But time was not his to command. 

His eyes, wet and stained with rain or tears, you do not know. The pain pierced through you like arrows, it hurts, but none is able to save you. The gash is too big, and deep too.

His hands. The ravenette’s hands are so gentle even under the harsh gloves. Carefully, he lifted you up from the ground, and it was him who spoke first. 

‘‘Don’t go, it’s a command.’’

You chuckled lightly before the voice faded into weak whimpers. His own voice was shaking, it pulled your heartstrings. 

‘‘You- you’re not even smiling, Xiao. Come on, at least give me a smile- whether it’s the last time i would see it..’’

How could he decline such a request?

Smiling was harder than supposed. 

Gathering all that was left in him- a smile formed. It was genuine. Something no one but you had seen- that was enough for you. To be the luckiest person to see his smile. It hurts. You wanted to see more, maybe you two would have a future together, and smile, always, then he could learn how to make Almond Tofu and take care of himself and-

Too much to wish for.

‘‘Xiao-’’

He silenced you. With his lips.

Had he known it was the first, and the last, you indulged yourself fully, sinking deeper into the sweet, airy kiss. The taste of metallic was awful, but what was even more- you didn’t know if he was crying, or just the rain.

‘‘You know.. I love you, Xiao.’’

So that was the word. 

Love. 

To think, how foolish he was- in love with a mortal. 

But he was, and nothing could change that. He loved you.

‘‘Don’t go, then. Don’t go.’’

His voice laced with desperation- he begged to the Archons, to someone, to save you. No one would, he knew. Before he knew, you went, quietly. 

You were gone.

Rage filled him. Putting on the mask he could feel power surging through every part of him- destruction. 

Kill, kill, kill.

The rest of the monsters advanced, but only ended in a bloodbath as he unleashed himself. That village was never heard of again in history. 

Throwing the mask away, Xiao leaned down, back to you.

‘‘I love you too, [Y/n].’’

[eleanorfenyxwrites]

After Each Midnight Begins A New Day

[3zun fixit extra #2 - I have to stress right away that this has spoilers for upcoming plot points, as in you’ll be able to kind of know where I’m planning to go with at least one aspect of the story. If you want to avoid spoiling the main story for yourself, read part 9 before you read this extra.]

[Masterpost]

[Extra #1]

Nie Huaisang sweeps into Cloud Recesses with little fanfare.

He’s brought a few junior disciples with him who need to get used to traveling as well as two experienced, more seasoned cultivators as a sort of ‘guard’, but other than that he travels lightly. Times are peaceful, after all. He and his two guards can handle anything that might accost them on the way, and they have nothing to be wary of in Cloud Recesses proper.

They’re greeted at the gates by Wei Wuxian, looking cheerful as ever.

“Nie-xiong!” he cries, flinging his arms wide with a grin and Nie Huaisang is quick to snap his fan open to hide his pleased smile. The disciples he’s brought along haven’t yet had a chance to meet anyone who would treat him so flippantly - not that many exist - and he can feel their scandalized glares at Wei Wuxian over his shoulders.

“You can’t greet Sect leaders like that, Wei-gongzi,” Nie Sizhen sighs from her spot just behind his left shoulder, long-suffering as ever, and Wei Wuxian throws his head back to laugh, thoroughly undaunted by her looming presence despite the fact that she’s fully capable of snapping him in half without breaking a sweat.

“I can when your Sect leader is my childhood friend, don’t be so stuffy! Come in, come in! I’ve asked for the best guest rooms to be prepared for you. How was the trip?”

Nie Huaisang steps forward into Wei Wuxian’s one-armed embrace, the other Nie cultivators falling into step behind them as Nie Sizhen begins outlining the few interesting details of their trip. Nothing terribly alarming - reports of a yao, a few hauntings, a water ghoul that they were able to quickly dispatch of on their way; nothing that the Nie couldn’t handle - and Wei Wuxian nods along as he listens.

The conversation lasts them long enough that by the time the report is over and Wei Wuxian’s few questions for more details have been answered, they’re in position to disperse into their separate guest quarters and relax from the trip for the afternoon.

“Oh no no, not you Nie-xiong. You’re coming with me,” Wei Wuxian says easily enough when Nie Huaisang begins to pull away but there’s a glint in his eye hinting at something further below the surface.

“Aiyo Wei-xiong,” he whines - his first words since setting foot in Cloud Recesses. He would never admit to the cause being a desire to escape Wei Wuxian’s immediate attention, but, well...it wasn’t not that reason either. “I’m tired, can’t it wait until after I’ve had a nice nap?”

“Nope! Come on, come on,” Wei Wuxian teases, ushering him down the hall with ease. “I’ve got wine, you know, and some of those osthmanthus cakes you like.”

“Bribery,” Nie Huaisang replies in open approval with another smile behind his fan. “Alright fine, but you don’t get to eat any of the cakes.”

“We’ll see about that!” Wei Wuxian’s laugh rings through Cloud Recesses as they take the quickest path to the Jingshi, the one that cuts straight through the pavilions of classrooms full of students. None of the adults walking serenely through their home even flinch at the sudden disruption of the quiet atmosphere. Wei Wuxian babbles about nothing much at all as they walk through his home, his chatter loud and familiar.

Anyone who didn’t know him well would miss the edge of tension underneath it without missing a beat.

They reach the Jingshi but Wei Wuxian only stops to pick up a basket from the porch before gesturing for him to follow again to lead him to a path - the entrance of which is tucked away at the side of the house - that stretches back into the forest behind it. He eyes it a bit warily and distracts the eye away from studying his face too closely with an artful snap of his fan to shut it and gesture in the direction of the path.

“Does this go all the way to the back hill?” he asks, not really caring about the answer, just aiming to stall. What’s alarming is that a couple of days ago he had received a letter from Wei Wuxian entirely out of the blue. A letter full of thinly veiled threats, to his surprise, and now the author of said threatening letter is taking him into the woods while Nie Huaisang’s own cultivators are all the way back in the guest pavilion resting. Not that he can’t defend himself, of course, but Wei Wuxian is of a completely different caliber than...well, anybody but the Twin Jades. He feels it’s perfectly valid to feel a bit alarmed.

“Nah, just a little ways into the forest where we keep the rabbit hutches. A-Xiao is in bed with a bit of a fever going through the student dormitories and Lan Zhan and Madam Lan are tending to him, I don’t want to disturb his rest. Picnic?”

Nie Huaisang taps his fan once on his palm and then takes a confident step forward to fall into step next to his friend. The silence as they walk is all the more stark for Wei Wuxian’s talkativeness on the way to the Jingshi.

“This is supposed to be the part where you tell me why I’m here,” Nie Huaisang observes once they’re stepping into the little clearing teeming with soft white, black, and spotted rabbits. Wei Wuxian’s sharp look at him has him twitching his fan open again to wave it lazily under his own chin to add to his air of innocent nonchalance.

“I wanted to see you, do I need another reason?” Wei Wuxian asks with convincing sincerity.

“Your letter made it seem more urgent than an excuse to see my pretty face,” he teases with another flutter of the fan.

“How dare you accuse me of having ulterior motives, Nie-xiong.” Wei Wuxian’s pout as he steps further into the clearing to plop down with the basket and start pulling things out is almost believable. Nie Huaisang watches him out of the corner of his eye as he ostensibly looks around at the rabbits going about their little lives, hopping around and snuggling together, a few of them munching on grass.

“Come on, sit down. I know you’re tired,” Wei Wuxian calls once he has everything laid out and Nie Huaisang obliges with a quiet sigh behind his fan. At least they’ll be getting this out of the way soon, whatever it is.

“Do you really expect me to believe that you didn’t have a specific reason for wanting to see me, Wei-xiong?” He reaches his free hand out to pluck a cake off the dish and he hides the bite he takes behind his fan, eyes dark and wide as he watches Wei Wuxian over the edge of the silk. “You forget I know you so well.”

“So direct! Where’s the famed delicate touch of Nie-Zongzhu? Is this what you teach all your spies to do? For shame, Nie-xiong, if this is the best you can do it’s a wonder any of your cultivators can actually be at all sneaky.”

“Aiyo! Why shouldn’t I be direct? You know I don’t hide anything from you, Wei-xiong.”

“Don’t you?”

Even the rabbits go momentarily still as tension suddenly blankets the clearing. Nie Huaisang stops the gentle fluttering of his fan and his gaze goes equally sharp as the two childhood friends study each other across the hodge-podge picnic spread between them.

Wei Wuxian breaks it first, shaking out his shoulders a bit before lounging back in the grass to rest on one elbow, a jar of wine in his other hand.

“Er-ge’s not feeling well,” he says idly as if commenting on the weather, the seeming non-sequitur making Nie Huaisang frown ever so slightly.

“Did something happen? Da-ge and san-ge haven’t said anything.” Not that they’re his only sources of information on what’s going on in Cloud Recesses, of course, but they’re his most reliable sources for the relationship between the two of them and Lan Xichen.

“We’re keeping it pretty quiet. But this is where I think you can help.”

“Me? Lan Sect has the best healers out of all of us, and you’ve got Wen Qing near enough to send to for help as well. Why me?”

“He’s being treated by the healers too, don’t worry about that. You don’t even have to see him if you don’t want to, but I’ve got some questions for you. Actually -” Wei Wuxian’s gaze becomes, if possible, even sharper, “I’ll tell the story, and if it makes you recall something you can tell me.”

Nie Huaisang freezes. It’s been a long time since anyone has been able to make him feel like prey, and he certainly doesn’t appreciate the feeling now. But - what he considers one of his greatest virtues is to know when to accept defeat gracefully.

“Oh...I don’t know.” Despite the words and the way he’s ‘shyly’ ducking behind his fan, his tone is sly and he watches triumph flare, bright and hot, across his friend’s face. “I really don’t know.”

“I knew it,” Wei Wuxian breathes and then he laughs, loud and genuine with his head thrown back until his laughter echoes off the bamboo around them like the peals of a bell. It’s...a far cry from the reaction he had expected based on the tone of Wei Wuxian’s letter and his behavior leading up to this point, but he also knows his friend uncommonly well and he knows that there’s truly nothing else to be done in such a situation. So after a moment he joins in, laughing quietly as he collapses the fan to set it on his lap and then leans forward to snag another cake. He breaks a piece off just to have something else to do with his hands.

“Alright, you’ve finally caught me. Be open with me now Wei-xiong,” Nie Huaisang hedges when Wei Wuxian has calmed again and is back to watching him like a hawk. “What’s wrong with er-ge? Why are you so sure I can help?”

“He’s like us.”

Nie Huaisang snorts and makes a joke like he would have in their youth before the reality of that statement sinks in.

“Yeah that’s not news, we all like a good dicking down, what - oh! When did that happen? He certainly hasn’t been like us before now, I would have noticed while he was courting da-ge and san-ge. They’ve all three been blissfully unaware so far.”

“A couple of days before I wrote to you. I sent for you when he started feeling unwell. We can talk about it in a moment though, it’s not an emergency and he’s being very well attended. I want to know when you got here. You were a child when Lan Zhan and I got here, I met you. Even a skilled liar like you can’t pretend to be a four year old that convincingly.”

That draws him up short and he blinks for a long moment as he does the math.

“You came back when you were five? That must have been miserable. Dealing with puberty twice was enough for me, I didn’t need to relive my entire childhood.”

“So when exactly did you come back?”

“The summer we all studied here. I woke up in the middle of the night and I was just..here. 15 years old again, in the guest dormitories.”

���We had already been studying for a while? It was around this time of year?”

“Yes, we were well into our classes. You said er-ge began feeling unwell after a couple of days?” he suddenly asks - it’s been a while since he had ruminated on how his life had suddenly changed one night, or the weeks that had followed, but as he thinks on it it comes back all at once in a burst of clarity.

“Yes. Why?”

“Is he seeing things? Nightmares?”

“Okay, this is going to keep us going in circles. Why don’t you tell me the story and I’ll compare it to what I already know.”

It’s a fair enough request so Nie Huaisang nods and finishes off the little cake in his hands as he gathers his thoughts.

“Before, in our first life - your second life, I guess -, I came to Cloud Recesses to talk to Hanguang-Jun. I wanted...I wanted his advice on Sect business, and I wanted to see if I could see er-ge. I just wanted to talk to him, Wei-xiong, I swear. I knew he was still in seclusion and..not that I think I could have helped, but I figured if he’d been in seclusion for so long then I probably couldn’t hurt him any more than I already had, you know? And maybe I could have helped, I don’t know. Anyway - I was in Caiyi Town, I was going to come up the mountain the next day for my visit, but when I woke up in the middle of the night that night I was already here. It was so strange, but not as strange as waking again in the morning and watching you and Lan Zhan go walking by hand-in-hand as teenagers. I thought I was going mad - you were both so young but he wasn’t keeping you at a distance like when we were actually young, he was already letting you hang all over him. I watched you for half a day and it was like seeing you married as teenagers and I figured you had done...well I didn’t know what exactly, but clearly you had done something.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? This whole time and you’ve known Lan Zhan and I have been..as we are.”

Nie Huaisang picks up his fan again to flick it open to start fanning himself, leaning forward to rest his elbow on his knee as he watches Wei Wuxian.

“It’s not my business,” he replies and he has the pleasure of watching Wei Wuxian’s lips twist in the way that means he’s secretly annoyed but determined not to show it. “I wanted to watch and see what was going on, and after a few months it was clear you had it all well in hand. Though I do appreciate you letting me decide how to handle da-ge and my sect. That was thoughtful of you.”

Wei Wuxian snorts, shakes his head, and chugs a few more mouthfuls of wine.

“It was just supposed to be me and Lan Zhan. This is getting out of hand,” he mutters to himself and Nie Huaisang wonders - as he’s sure Wei Wuxian is wondering as well - if he and Lan Xichen have come along on this...whatever this is, how many others are there out there that they don’t know about yet? “Well go on then, keep going. Tell me what happened that means you know what er-ge is experiencing.”

“It started a few days in,” he says softly, his fan going still as he looks over Wei Wuxian’s shoulder towards the forest. “Nightmares from our old life. I kept dreaming of the night da-ge died. Everything I had to do to take Jin Guangyao down. The world turning on you. Watching A-Cheng become angry and bitter as he withdrew from everyone but Jin Ling. They were so vivid...they weren’t just idle dreams, Wei-xiong. They were memories, and I started having them while I was awake as well. Visions, I suppose. I looked at er-ge one morning at breakfast and he was fine one moment, a happy teenager..and then the next moment he had san-ge’s blood all over him and he was looking at me in horror, like at the temple. He was normal again a moment later and he wasn’t even looking at me but I couldn’t stop it, everything just kept flickering like that. This life, the old one, then back.”

“When did it stop?”

“I really don’t know. Genuinely!” he protests when Wei Wuxian gives him a skeptical look. “I don’t! It was slow, and gradual. I started getting flashes of memories of this life instead, things I had never seen before but they were vivid like the others. And then one day I realized I hadn’t had a vision of any kind in months, and then years, and then I realized when I needed to I could recall anything from this life, and anything from the other as well. It’s like I’ve lived twice, even from before I was 15, though both childhoods are still sort of..murky, I suppose. Equally so, though. I remember da-ge having to take over raising me, and take over the sect, all of that. But this time er-ge came to visit us a lot and he and da-ge would sit close together and flirt, and that didn’t happen last time. I remember both.”

Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath in and another long pull on his wine. “What a mess,” he mutters with a sigh once he’s finished, swiping his sleeve across his mouth.

“Wei-xiong?”

“Mhm?”

“Thank you.” Wei Wuxian looks up at him and Nie Huaisang drops his fan, his pretenses, his walls. He lets Wei Wuxian see the relief in his eyes, and the affection that he has for him as well, this dear friend of his that he’s lost and found again far too many times even for two lifetimes.

“Ah?”

“You gave me da-ge back. A chance to do it again. It might be a mess, but it’s the good kind, and we’ll get it figured it out. We’ve already cleaned up one much larger mess rather thoroughly together, haven’t we? We’ll clean this one up too, if it goes beyond me and er-ge. As it is, I’ve already long settled into it, and I did it without letting on to anybody. Er-ge will be alright.”

“He’s just..he’s been so lost.”

“And I wasn’t?” Nie Huaisang allows a bit of irritation to snap in the back of his voice and that makes Wei Wuxian pause, the jar of wine pressed against his lips for another sip he hasn’t taken yet. “Not all of us had the luxury of disappearing from the world after we all helped Jin Guangyao tear it down around our ears. Some of us were just as lost and alone we had to pick up and carry on anyway. Without revenge, without a target, knowing I’d been neglecting my people for years for a scheme, you think I wasn’t lost when it was all over? My...My brothers, Wei-xiong. I lost all three of my brothers, years apart in a slow torture that I forced myself to have a hand in. You never truly trusted me again. A-Cheng wouldn’t come near me. You think I wasn’t lost?”

“Okay thank gods, that’s better than being thanked,” Wei Wuxian chuckles around the mouth of the jar as he takes another sip. “I know you were lost, Nie-xiong. We all were to varying degrees, that’s why Lan Zhan and I did this in the first place. But you have to understand, we never expected anyone else to be part of it. The fact that you’re here, and Zewu-Jun…”

“Give him some credit. He’s stronger than he seems, and he has plenty of support. It’ll be better when he starts remembering this life, too, don’t forget. Things will settle.”

“Aiyah. Since when do you offer such good reassurance, Nie-xiong? You should visit more.” Wei Wuxian grumbles and Nie Huaisang has to laugh at that, snapping his fan up to cover his face as his eyes perhaps water quite a bit more than the situation outwardly calls for as relief floods through him. He composes himself quickly and lowers the fan again to stop hiding, though he keeps it open just in case.

“You should come see me, Wei-xiong. I do actually run a Sect this time you know, even if da-ge and san-ge help me. You can take some time off from terrorizing the Lans to come terrorize my disciples instead.”

“Hm...I think I’d like that,” Wei Wuxian muses with a bemused sort of smile as he looks up at the clouds scudding their way across the patch of sky visible amongst the bamboo. “The little ducklings you brought with you today looked as scandalized as Lans when I called you Nie-xiong. If they’re all that easy to tease I’ll have lots of fun with them.”

“It’s because they’re terrified of me,” Nie Huaisang says flippantly as he leans forward to take another cake and nibble on it as daintily as he can manage. “And even A-Cheng doesn’t call me anything so familiar in public, you know.”

“Well that’s just because he’s a coward who cares about propriety,” Wei Wuxian replies with a grin. “Not my fault your own husband can’t bear to call you anything but ‘Zhugong’ where others can hear. You’re my Nie-xiong, you always have been, and I’ll address you as such.”

Nie Huaisang has the urge to hide his pleased smile behind his hand, but instead he forces himself to let it show and in doing so earns himself a wink and a toast from Wei Wuxian in response.