#genuinely though i am fine with it

[queeraang]

we're all healing and growing and whatever but come here for a minute so i can just complain

obviously you have to express a desire/feeling for it to be known but also sometimes it's like surely a basic inference can be made without me having to openly beg for an emotional connection?

i will share an example i am emotionally over so it doesn't matter

my family would constantly push me to reach out to my father because he "loves and misses" me and for a while i did do that but it would be phone call>he talks about missing me>we make plans>he flakes without ever following up>no contact for months>repeat

so i simply stopped caring or trying and my mom was like "you should tell him this bothers you, he misses you" and i'm like no he doesn't, he has a phone, a car, and my address. it is actually impossible for him to miss me with those resources. If he goes months without making contact with me then its because he doesn't want to.

(and to clarify about communication styles, he calls and speaks to my brother often, he regularly will drive 30 minutes to go meet up with people, that is not the issue)

i'm not going to beg for attention from someone who doesn't like me. also he's like a weird homophobe sexist so i'm not exactly pining for our long talks about how the cartoons are trying to make kids gay.

i say all that to say

it's like yeah you have to ask for things you want in personal relationships but also i have a bunch of NDs and shit so (example) if i tell someone who previously didn't hug me that i like hugs and then they start hugging me it feels like i've bullied them into it and they're doing it out of obligation/pity and actually hate it so it's not even a real hug anymore and actually worse than not being hugged in the first place so why would i do that??? like you want me to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known and i don't even get the fucking rewards of being loved? repulsive.

anyway i'm very normal and the emotional neglect doesn't affect me at all in my adult life

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[merrinpippy]

on masks

so shockingly miracle mask has huge mask theming in like every aspect. basically every significant character is 'wearing' a mask literally or metaphorically, except for luke who remarks in ludmilla's costume shop that he doesn't think any of the masks suit him (since the events of the previous game luke can be authentically himself now.) this is fun to notice on its own, but there's more to be discussed than just the presence of masks.

every mask in miracle mask backfires on its wearer to some degree! the most obvious case of this is descole and the masked gentleman straight up underestimating their own mask/s and failing to see their plans to the end, and the resulting consequences. dalston and henry's masks of stoicism turn out to have kept them from years of friendship they could have enjoyed, and paint them both as suspects in the masked gentleman case. angela's aloof facade and distance from everyone around her allows her to be kidnapped for a significant portion of the game without anyone but the professor noticing (and even then, he notices that something's up with her, but chalks it up initially as not knowing her anymore). less obviously, emmy's mask only means she'll end up hurting the people she has come to care for even more when the time comes.

most interesting to me, though, is hershel! even as a teen he's remarkably reserved, though clearly passionate. he keeps himself very controlled, and seems to care very much about coming across to others as helpful, grounded, and 'normal'. the interests that we know he has he keeps locked up, literally hidden away in cupboards, not to be acknowledged aloud to himself or others. he never gets angry or ever really displays any stereotypical teen behaviours apart from awkwardness.

now what this means is he is treated as the reliable one who will nonetheless go along with whatever randall wants him to do. he's never particularly assertive (something he will learn to be as an adult) so his willingness is taken for granted. he's put in mortal danger in akbadain because it never occurs to randall that hershel's protests are anything more than for appearance's sake.

and when randall falls and hershel is alone, he yells! he falls to his knees, completely overcome. he cries. he pushes through. and when he reaches angela and henry, alone, covered in dirt, looking completely haunted... they don't even ask him if he's okay. angela bodily shakes him. in the past and present, nobody treats hershel as if he's been through something traumatic - to everyone else, he was either a bystander to or complicit in randall's death, but controlled, mild-mannered and rational hershel is never considered a victim in his own right even after years have passed for everyone to think on it. years after the fact angela apologises to hershel... when she realises she needs his help. and henry immediately accuses him of betraying randall's memory and abandoning him.

and to be clear this isn't me saying oh they're evil or whatever but it's significant that they acknowledge how the trauma affected them and their behaviour from that point forward but it doesn't occur to them that hershel's behaviour and life trajectory was also altered forever! because hershel has for his whole life masked so well that to everyone else he does not have an interior life that isn't puzzle solving.

and the absolute funniest thing about it is that when hershel confesses this all to emmy and luke.... it's immediately back to the investigation, "where do we go now professor!" i'm sure there's no reason to ask if hershel's okay, he's probably unaffected by all that, let's go! readers i laughed out loud. tfw you mask so well everyone forgets you're a person

[lokh]

would u trust me to be able to carry heavy grocery bags

[claitea]

whoa guys did you see the new cards i really want alto's full art!!

made with this site! art without the text under the cut :D

[rapidhighway]

gonna vent for a sec but im so tired of this "don't wanna be an inconvenience", people pleasing shit ngl.....do people who do this know that they just come off as really rude and like... it just feels insulting each time

[grossillygirl]

im sad. extremely sad actually yeah. very sad indeedy.

[icewindandboringhorror]

sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye

[keepbirdieweird]

This map?

Yep!!! Couldn't remember if it had been posted before or not, lol. Can definitely attest to New Mexico hating Texas, personally 😅 Our drivers are not good and the Panhandle/northern part of West Texas does not... well, I'll just say they don't always put our best foot forward, and leave it at that.

[pocketgalaxies]

reminiscing as a 2NE1 fan means realizing that the complete lack of actual love and respect held for these women by the industry they completely redefined is pervasive even in the way their music was written and produced

[lupins-hehim-pussy]

Just speed consumed all of addison lee very much enjoyed I am waiting with my popcorn for next chapter! I did have a wonder while reading, what is Wriothesley's scope of vision? Is it like this needs to be 3 inches in front of his face? Can he see faces clearly if he's close enough? Loving the fic, keep writing!

The short answer is:

No matter how close he gets, it's still gonna be unclear. It's not quite like myopia/short-sightedness where the blurriness can change with glasses/distance. His vision is more like looking through foggy glass. If something is pressed right up to the glass, you can see it more clearly, but it will still be foggy. Additionally, the guy has always been red/green colour-blind, so that doesn't change even after his war injuries, but because his vision is worse in general, he can barely tell colours apart lol. Unless it's bright blue.

LONG ANSWER UNDER THE CUT.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA HEHEHHHEHEHHE WHUAGHAHA sorry. I like to infodump about my fics.

Not kidding when say this: I have a document that have notes on every single year in the 10 years between the Celestia war and current INGITAL events.

Unfortunately this was all planned before Sigewinne release, so I didn't have her canon birthday (AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT CANON ANY MORE I'm burying my head in the sand.) but it accounts for every year that Sigewinne grew up and some other random lore bits. "What does this have to do with my question?" you ask. Well, I have the 10-years progression notes specifically to keep their life events in order and Wriothesley's and Neuvillette's healing progress consistent KJNDSKJNSANSKJHASDJNJSNDKJNASJNDSAJNKSAKJ.

SO. Detailed answer is this:

At this point in INGITAL, if you stand 1-2 meters away from him and wave, he's gonna notice if he's looking at you, paying attention, and you're both indoors, or he's wearing sunnies. He's not gonna be able to recognise anything, though, he can just tell something is moving. He can sort of read regular text on a computer screen at about 2-3 inches (on a good day) using his better eye (left, so he always sorta lean that way when he's trying to look at something), but it's a struggle and he'd rather not do it. His right is worse.

There's also his field of vision. So like, his peripherals are pretty much gone, and he has some dark patches/blind spots. He's also light-sensitive, so everything's kinda painfully bright sometimes, but his vision is also bad in the dark, so he needs a happy medium, but that can shift from day to day.

Very rough idea of what Neuvillette might look like to him on a sunny day. Veeery rough idea. I'm not blind I just researched a lot.

And then, regardless of what he can actually physically see, if his eyes hurt or feel too sensitive to keep open, it's all moot anyway. And once again, usually that depends on the day.

When Sigewinne was born, he had functionally decent vision in one eye (had a corneal transplant on his right). Legally can't get his driving licence, but y'know, he still felt confident enough to drive (Neuvillette did not let him, though.) The transplanted eye deteriorates over Sigewinne's first few months, and so did his better eye. He got another surgery for his left eye (the better one) when Sigewinne was about one, and that lasted for a bit, but by the time she's two, he's pretty much considered legally blind. By the time she's four, he does most things on his own and his other issues are managed as well, which is why they decided to have a second kid, and they had Carole when Sigewinne was 5. But Neuvillette struggled a bit with that second pregnancy. I mean, his first wasn't exactly rose and rainbows, but he his mental health nose-dived with the second one for a while. It's because he's been so focused on keeping it together while Wriothesley recovers that he hasn't fully dealt with his own trauma until his second pregnancy. Because yeah, thinking your husband died while you're carrying your first baby was traumatic. They've both got PTSD. By the time Sedene comes about though, they're all good. Sedene's pregnancy was a breeze, there was just Covid lockdowns HAHAHAHA. And then, if I go through with another pregnancy at the end of INGITAL, well... That's for me to know and for you to ponder.

[By the way, Clorinde mentioned going over to their house for Wrio's birthday 8 years ago in Chapter 9, which is when Sigewinne was 3 and he was 28. His previous birthday (his 27th) was a disaster. Had a big fight with his husband. So that's another morsel of lore from the 10-years-of-plot document.]

There's a scene planned somewhere in all this, where Neuvillette shows him some of their photos on one of the days when his vision is better. Photos of eeeeveryone their kids and their friends and all. He printed them out and edited them to raise the contrast so Wriothesley can see it more easily. Wriothesley voice: Ajax is fucking ginger? [This is lore relevant. No spoilers though.]

[spurgie-cousin]

it's really funny to think about how it was ok to watch horror movies like The Omen and the Exorcist as an evangelical child because they railed home the idea that yes, demons and hell are real!!!! but i was also told watching SpongeBob was questionable because he might be gay

anyway I'm taking an edible and watching the new prequel The First Omen, with my history of trauma around hell i can't wait to see where this ride takes me

[moonchild-in-blue]

I wanna ride a centaur.

[ahalliance]

heartbroken: fans of media are engaging in the interpersonal character conflict proposed by the text but they’re mischaracterising your favourite guy in the process

[byakuyasdarling]

hey I’ll make Byakuya soft for his wife all I want but at the end of the day I can admit how much of a downright terrible and very patriarchal individual he can be. Is it explainable? Yes. Is it justifiable? Grey area, but mostly no. Like I still know how this charcater ultimately functions and I can tell you in confidence the majority of the fandom does not.

​I swear so much of the fandom uses STEREOTYPES to inform their headcanons and it drives me actually nuts.

On another note: please NEVER ignore how patriarchal this man actually is. Do not even try the “UwU” cutification twists on it either. It is so inherent to his character and how he interacts with the world (which is very observable in his lines) - it’s a core part of him and cutifying or changing that identity is inherently damaging to his character. It’s something that should be explored, yes — but in a way that doesn’t tangibly affect his character. He’s always going to be this way, he will always have these beliefs (evidently); the actual way he changes is how he processes that and reacts more respectfully in turn.

Also he isn’t just “a mean guy” and it is so damn clear in every other instance of his character outside of the first few chapters of T//HH (which again… is easily explained through context and his past). He is honest, he is no-nonsense (except for a few situations), and he is emotionally stunted. He is low-empathy, that’s for sure. Doesn’t make him a monster by any means.

[i-may-be-an-emu]

CW: medication + caffeine side effects talk, detailed talk of those symptoms

I had a coffee for the first time while actively on my (stimulant) meds today and I was shaking and my vision was blurry and it felt like there was if in my brain or it was in a blender or my brain was shaking

I’m all good now but yeah, the pharmacist said it would be safe lol but I won’t be doing that again

My pulse was really fast too. I’m still feeling a little weird but yeah I’m anyway basically today I learned my meds + caffeine don’t mix