#genuinely open to suggestions for this fic tho

[ilys00ga]

you are my favorite!!!! super happy to know you are taking requests :D also i hope you are doing well♡♡

could i request a yoongi x f!reader possibly where they have a rlly bad argument and make it up and it ends really fluffy? maybe the argument could be over jealusy or this stuff ofc not in a toxic way. Thank you in advance :)

BLOWING SMOKE.

PAIR: yoongi x f reader

TAGS/WARNINGS: established relationship, producer!yoongi, yoongi fucks up real bad, hes lowk an ass in this one sorry xxx, he fixes things tho, misunderstandings with a great amount of miscommunication, reader thinks hes cheating, jealousy, angst, also fluff, a teenie tiny dusty bit of smut implications at the very end, but no smut I promise. that's it I guess?? lmk if I missed something. oh yeah this is probably full of unedited mistakes, just ignore :)

A/N: omg omg first off, THANK U I love u lots 💗 second, this matches the new fic I was already working on so akdjqjsjjs was in the mood for some good angst hehehe...although, I gotta say, this was pretty rushed cz I had a shit ton of things to do (I still do) but I tried to make it as good as I can, I hope u like it 🥹 also, ik u said 'not in a toxic way' but I think I might have gotten carried away? nothing too extreme I hope, but we all fuck up, and yoongi here is not doing any better.

PS. requests are still open! feel free to drop some in my ask box anytime :)

Loving Yoongi was like a field of cotton grass dancing with the wild wind on a fresh late spring day. But being in a relationship with him, much like any other relationship out there, wasn't always a bed of soft petals and a sky of warm sunshine.

“I'm sorry, darling. I have to stay here for another two hours. You can still come over if you want.” That was what he said over the phone, one day, when you asked whether he was free for a dinner date or not. It's been a hectic week for the both of you, two adults trapped in the hectic mess of what we call life. An unsettling bubble formed in your chest. You missed him, so, terribly much. The days went on, and it became harder for you to sit down with him for a genuine conversation or a wholesome meal. The mere thought that your relationship was heading towards one of those bland and colorless stages was heavy on your heart.

His suggestion sounded apologetic enough for you to swallow the pill entirely, so you immediately declared your agreement, grabbed your purse, then left the apartment.

On your twenty-minutes-long walk there, you made sure to grab a bottle or two of wine and some snacks, because, knowing Yoongi, he would let his body devore itself before he would feed himself a proper meal, once he's inside that studio.

Except that, all of your hopes of a hopelessly romantic night at his studio, and that uncomfortable couch he purchased specifically so he wouldn't doze off when he's supposed to work, vanished as soon as you pushed the door open and walked in.

Yoongi never said or did anything to hurt your trust, neither were you the type of lover to shed tears and break glass when they see their partner with another person. But seeing him sitting so close to the female producer you were already familiar with, their chairs almost touching as they fixed their attention on the large computers on top of his desk, that was a sight you weren't ready for. And it wouldn't have been so much of an issue to you if you weren't sitting in the same room with your boyfriend and the woman he used to hook up with on a regular basis before he got with you.

“It's good to finally see you, __.” She gave you a smile. A little, polite and genuine gesture that, in contrast to the smile you mirrored to her, made your stomach flip.

Another hour passed with you staring mindlessly at your phone screen and them doing their thing. You were on the verge of excusing yourself to leave, to maybe catch some fresh air instead of suffocating to death inside that closed space, when the girl finally stood up to leave.

You watched as she gave him a hug, her hand gently rubbing at his shoulder, before she faced you to bid her goodbye and left.

Throughout the entire thing, Yoongi didn’t spare you a glance. His back was the only thing you could see, along with the back of his head, covered with his favorite dark beanie. You thought her departure would soothe your heart and put your anxious mind to rest. That Yoongi would turn around and explain why the hell he was hanging out with her, and not with his usual team members. Except that neither of the above happened.

“I’m done here too, for the day. We can go now.” He said as he stood up from his own chair, stretching his arms and arching his body with a rough groan. You were left wondering whether you were the insane one there. Or maybe he was that blind to the chaos happening in your head at that very moment.

The words were on the tip of your tongue. You could no longer hold them back. They were too strong to be kept hidden deep inside your throat. And so, you cleared your throat and let them speak for themselves. “You never told me you still work with her.”

You paused, taking a deep breath as you anticipated an answer from him, which came rather more lightheartedly than you fancied.

“Oh, I didn't think it was worth talking about.” He said, hovering over the desk to turn the devices off.

“Really?” You tucked the tip of your finger under another one, his usual nonchalance was supposed to sooth you, reassure your heart that he only belonged to you, but it only served to stir something inside your anxious self. “But it's still something, Yoongi..”

“Darling, you were never bothered with who I work with.” He remarked.

“Because you never had history with your usual team members.” Your blunt argument, with all the bitterness it held, took the both of you off guard.

“Is this about what I think it is?” He glanced up at you again, finally catching up on the situation at hand. “Look at me. Are you upset because she was here?”

“Yes I am.. You never mentioned the fact that you still see her everyday. Were you planning on keeping that from me?”

He let out a heavy sigh. “I told you it was never a big deal, baby. That's why I didn't bring it up.”

“Yoongi, it doesn't matter what you think of it. I deserve to know this type of thing.”

He scoffed at that, his attention turning to his stuff as he started gathering them. “Baby, please. I was working. We had a project to do. It's not like I slept with her or something.”

“Did you?”

At the heavy implication of your short question, Yoongi froze in his place, unmoving. His eyes spoke of surprise and pain as he stared deeply into yours, sending a chill down your spine. You blinked, and the sound of crashing almost made you jump when he threw the headphones he was holding carelessly on the desk.

“You think I did?” He asked. Even as his voice was completely empty of amusement, he didn't raise his voice at you. “You think I slept with her?”

“I don't know.” You shrugged. “That's what I'm trying to know.”

Neither of you spoke after that. He continued staring at you, not providing an answer that could satisfy your clenching heart. Instead, and just like every single time the two of you had an argument before that, he faced his desk again and busied himself with his belongings, his movements harsher and rougher than before.

“It's better if you leave now.” He said, his voice disturbingly cold.

You wished he could say anything. Maybe snap at you for being so harsh with your judgment on him, or lay his heart out and tell you the thing you dreaded the most, that he indeed slept with her. But he didn’t. He just faced the other way and did utter a word. And so, you grabbed your purse, phone in your other hand, and walked out of the studio.

Deep in the darkness of your room, you lay on your bed, deep in thought, staring at the ceiling like it could crack open and show you the secret towards a blissfully happy love story to remedy your soul. Your string of thoughts was cut short when noise broke out in your apartment. The sound of the front door being locked and closed again.

You craned your neck to catch a glimpse of the digital clock on top of your nightstand. It was three am.

Having had this scenario happen multiple times throughout the years of your relationship with him, you left your tear stained pillow and followed the source of the noise, your boyfriend in the kitchen.

You found him bent down in front of the open fridge, his back, once again, facing you. If he didn't hear your footsteps against the floor, he definitely heard the soft sniffle you let out as you leaned against the doorframe, you were certain.

“It's three in the morning.” You stated, like it was the most important news you could give him at that very moment. He didn't spare you a glance, settling for a can of beer and pushing the door of the fridge closed with his leg. “You shouldn’t drink at this hour.”

“Good to know you care about me.” He said, his voice calm but dripping with the usual bitter sarcasm he often exercised when he was tense or angry.

You couldn't help rolling your eyes at that. He was really upset. “Can we just talk?”

He flicked the can open with one hand, taking a long gulp of the liquor that left you with a small frown. “Why? So you get to accuse me of cheating again?”

“Yoongi, please-”

“No, __.” He paused, his gaze felt like a freezing flame to your soul. “You feel the way you feel, yeah I get it. But doubting my loyalty like that? Thinking that I could really go out of my way to cheat like it's nothing? What the fuck are you doing?”

His words, coupled with the way he looked at you, felt like a punch to your guts in that very moment. He was right, you knew that. No matter how insecure and threatened you felt back then, no matter how fucked up the thing he did was, cheating shouldn't have been your first conclusion. Especially when you loved and cherished him so deeply. With a trembling voice, you gathered your words and tried to ignore your stinging eyes as they threatened to spill your hidden emotions out. “I... Our relationship has been so dull lately, I was hoping we could spend some time together and catch up, but then I saw her there and I just..”

“Just what, __?” He cuts your speech. “Do you even trust me?”

“I do, of course I do! But you didn’t even talk to me about it, and when I tried to talk, you were all like ‘Oh, it doesn't matter, you're just being dramatic.’”

“That is not what I said.” He hissed.

“Doesn’t matter!-” A sob interrupted your speech, you ran a hand through your hair in frustration. “Can we just- please-”

Your words were cut short when he started walking towards you. You felt his arms engulfing you in a tight embrace, your face finding its place buried into the crook of his neck, where your warm tears touched his soft, milky skin.

“Shh.. I know.” He whispered into your ear, the strong smell of alcohol, carrying a hint of coffee within, filled your senses. Your arms moved on their own, automatically hugged him back. “You know I would never break your trust, right?”

You nodded your head. Something about the softness of his voice, heavy with vulnerability, made your heart crush into pieces. The way he held you, despite the hurt you knew he felt because of you, had a toll on you.

You pulled away, enough to bring your hands up and cup his face. Your teary eyes staring into his weary ones as you spoke. “That was so stupid of me. I'm sorry.”

“I'm the stupid one here, baby..” He turned his face to nuzzle your palm and press a kiss onto its skin. “I should've thought into it. I was so immersed in work, I didn't see how fucked up the entire situation was. Should've paid more attention.”

He leaned in, pressing a kiss on your forehead and letting his lips linger on your skin there for a few more seconds. “I'm sorry, darling. I'm sorry I made you think that lowly of me.”

The gentleness of his gesture and his words made your tears flow with a mind of their own. There was never a time he made a huge mistake and didn't make you feel like the sky might fall apart at the sight of your tears. It only made the guilt heavier on your heart.

He tightened his hold around you, pulling your body flush against his as he let you cry your hearts content out on his skin. You could feel his hand on the back of your head, a silent encouragement for you to nuzzle his neck again. You obliged.

“I can't believe you made me cry at three a.m like this.” You whined, after a long moment of hushed words of love and quiet sobs, and sniffled.

“I'm sorry, darling..” He cooed at you, wiping the tears off of your cheeks with his gentle fingers. The soft expression he had quickly faded into a slight smirk that appeared on his handsome face. “It wouldn't be the first time I do that, though.”

“Hey!” Your hand landed on his shoulder in a light swat. “We're having a moment here! And I still haven't forgiven you, you know!”

He let out a light chuckle, his smirk deepening when he tilted his head and noticed the faint blush on your face. “Worry not, I'll make it up to you. I'm gonna make you cry in a different way, darling.”

“Go away!” You whined again and shoved him away. His suggestive words made your face feel a lot warmer than necessary, but you tried to sound as stern and unaffected as you possibly could, under his gaze. “I'm going to bed. You better not follow me there, you're sleeping on the couch.”

“Oh, no need for the bed, baby.” He ignored your empty threat and rejection, making a quick job of scooping you up in his arms and heading towards the living room. “We have a foldable couch for a reason.”

“It's an expensive couch, you ass!”

[penelopeswifey]

ACCIDENTALLY YOURS !

WRITTEN PROLOUGE

—

" Thoughts on Balladeer? Well, he's okay.. but I think he's kind of overhyped, I mean all he has is his looks.. c'mon, lets be honest he wouldn't be famous if he wasn't good looking.. "

You said without any care, laughing at the chats reaction tons of debates starting up in chat, it was around 3am? a late night stream. You couldn't fall asleep so you decided to stream to your fans who were also up late at night, lazily playing the low quality game your viewers suggested only the sounds of keyboard smashing to be heard. You yawned, maybe it was the mood or the dim lights but you felt your eyelids getting heavier.

Yawning more, you apologized to your viewers saying that you were too tired to continue smiling at their goodnights and comforting words, you started lazily moving your cursor to click "End Stream," when, in your sleepy haze, you misclicked. A different tab opens up.. Your writing document, still open from earlier when you were editing the fic.

Except, this wasn’t just any fanfic.

It was THE fanfic. The fanfic you spend a total of 2 hours on every night to update to your small fanbase  .. and the pairing? None other than Scaramouche, the very idol you just ridiculed on stream as “ overhyped "

For a solid few minutes, you stared in horror, unsure if you were dreaming or hallucinating. Then reality hit, and so did the panic.

" W- Wait?! No- No!! !" You fumbled for the mouse, your fingers shaky, eyes wide as you tried to close the tab. But it was too late. The chat had already exploded and damage has already been done..

Chat messages flew by at lightning speed..

h3izoufan: what.. what was that 💀

arcticmonkeyslover662: : LNFAOO WAS THAT A FUCKING BALLADEER FANFIC???

luumine_718: didn't you just say you thought he was overrated?? 😭😭

The chat keeps going, you couldn't even focus on a message before it disappears into the hundreds of others appearing

Your brain scrambled for an explanation, but the damage was done. You swallowed, looking at the screen into your chat.

" Listen. I- I was just.. I was just curious!! ," you stammered, your voice a higher pitch than usual. " Be serious, it's seriously just research?! I mean, everyone has read a fanfic once in their life— it's just curiosity! You guys are misunderstanding everything! " You said, eyes wide, stammering and a very, *very*, red face.

The chat wasn't buying it at all, having the time of their lives seeing you distressed

ree_1029: bro?? what research needs to look into " scaramouches smoldering gaze " 💀💀🙏 dpwm

yunjinslover: what the fuck are you writing LMFAOO 😭😭 ykw girl that's real tho can't even judge

Your eyes finally glanced at the page still open, horrified to realize just how romantic the scene was. There was no way of talking your way out of this one.

Just why did you have to write about his gaze multiple times?! Are you that fucking desperate?!

With a sigh and a very awkward laugh, you clicked out the tab. " Guys. I was seriously just practicing my creative writing skills. " You felt your face heat up even more as the chat continued the teasing,.

You sat there, staring at the chaos you had  unleashed. The chat, a whirlwind of laughter, teasing, and judgment, was moving faster than you could process. Some were full-on laughing at your situation, others mocked and reminded you of your earlier comments, and a few seemed genuinely angry

You nervously fidgeted with your mouse, your face practically burning as you tried to figure out how to salvage what was left of your dignity.

"Listen… before you all go crazy, let’s not blow this out of proportion, okay? You guys are overreacting.. " you pleaded, feeling the words get stuck in your throat. " I've said it so many times, it's just creative writing!! "  Your attempt to brush it off as a casual hobby fell flat, as the chat continued to descend into a storm of laughter and teasing, this has got to be the worst day of your entire career- not even career, your life!

yndefender: creative writing practice about ' his voice that compared to an angel's symphony ' ?? okay.. 🤔

You nearly choked on air, knowing the EXACT scene they were quoting from. Why did I have to write that part?? It wasn't even necessary in the plot! You cursed yourself internally.

As the teasing continued to flood the chat, the initial shock began to wear off, and reality hit you like a ton of bricks. You felt the weight of your earlier comments pressing down on you. Sure, you were putting on a casual front, but the embarrassment was still there..

“Okay. ” you said, your voice wavering a bit as you tried to regain some composure. “I think it’s time for me to end the stream before I embarrass myself even more. You guys are too much tonight.. overreacting so much for what.. "

The chat erupted in a flurry of reactions, with some pleading for you to stay and others playfully mocking your desperate need to escape.

realbeyonce3: nooo 🥺 don't leave dawg I still wanna know more about your thoughts on scaramouches smoldering gaze LMFAOOO

You could feel your face heat up again. “ Your all too cruel.. " Your voice was barely above a whisper, the shame creeping back in full force. “ I'm ending the stream.. it's already late.. "

As you scrolled through the chat one last time, you saw messages filled with laughter and teasing, but also support. Despite that, the overwhelming embarrassment felt like a heavy weight on your shoulders.

With a shaky breath, you forced a smile. “ Thanks for tuning in tonight.. Remember, it's just creative writing practice. ” The chat erupted again with laughter at your words.

“ Goodnight, everyone. I'll see you soon! Remember, just creative writing practice! ” you added quickly, your attempt at humor falling flat as you quickly clicked the “End Stream” button.

The screen showed the ended stream notification, and you exhaled deeply, slumping back in your chair. The laughter faded, but the shame remained, a dull ache in your chest. You could already imagine the videos that would circulate, you buried your face in your hands, feeling so nervous.

“ What the hell was I thinking.. ” you muttered, your face still buried in your hands as you tried to shake off the embarrassment. Recalling everything that happened, it was so. so. cringeworthy.

“ creative writing practice? Shit..” you whispered to yourself, trying to convince yourself that it was just a silly mistake. But deep down, you knew it was going to eat you alive for a while.

Putting your phone on silent and setting it aside on the counter you landed on your bed, looking up at the ceiling recalling every moment from that stream. Your face turned bright red again, grabbing a pillow and screaming into it as loud as you could. Violently punching the pillow until you tired yourself out and just laid there.. hugging the now messed up pillow as you started to feel your eyelids getting heavier.

" I'll just .. clear things up tomorrow. "

You thought to yourself as you finally fell asleep, falling into a relaxed state. Unbeknownst to you.. your phone began buzzing with notifications.. Wow. That's one way to go viral.

ACCIDENTALLY YOURS !

SYNOPSIS: You, a well-known streamer, have always kept your two hobbies separate. By day, you entertain thousands with your snarky commentary, but by night, you secretly write. fanfiction about your favorite idol, Balladeer. It was a guilty pleasure—until a late-night stream led to a slip of the tongue and exposed your secret to the world!

In a single moment of poor judgment and a misclick, which by the way was totally not your fault!.. I think.. clips and memes about you spread like wildfire! It was embarrassing enough for everyone to know about your fanfiction, but it spiraled down even further when they discovered you were writing about the very idol you  constantly claimed was overrated.

Just as you wallowed in self-pity, a notification pings on your phone. A familiar username and a blue checkmark.

Oh.

accidentally yours master list // chap 1 ->

a/n: help!! I'm so embarrassed, I sincerely apologize if the writing seems horrible I'm still improving! Prologue is complete, really excited to start!

taglist:

@kaeuri @kazumiku @kyouzki @skyoverkill1 @eternallykira-143 @lalalaloveallmydays @simonisferal

[its-all-or-nothing94]

One Night // Tom Glynn-Carney x f!Reader

Summary: Where reader goes out with her friends and meets this charming, sweet (and so fucking) hot guy in a club.

A/N: This is the first fic I have published based on a real person. I don't know Tom, this is just puuuure fiction, thank you very much! It's actually just a short little One-Shot :)

Ship: Tom Glynn-Carney x Reader

Warnings: Language (is it tho?), mentions of having sex, use of alcohol, One Night Stand

You have always thought of yourself as a pretty ordinary person. You had a decent job, a decent apartment, and a group of friends that you could count on for a good time. So when your best friend, Emily, suggested you go out to a trendy new club in London, you thought, why not?

The club was packed, the music loud enough to make you feel it in your chest. You weren't usually one for these kinds of places, preferring a quiet pub or a cozy night in with a book. But tonight, something felt different. You wanted to let loose, to forget about the mundane for just one night.

After a few drinks and a lot of dancing, you found yourself at the bar, slightly tipsy and in need of a break. That’s when you noticed him. A man standing beside you, ordering a drink with an easy confidence. He had a rugged charm about him, with tousled blonde hair and an intense gaze that seemed to see right through you.

“Having a good time?” he asked, his voice smooth and inviting.

“Yeah, better than I expected,” you replied with a smile. “I’m Y/N, by the way.”

“Tom,” he said, extending a hand. You shook it, feeling a strange spark at the touch.

You chatted for a while and you found yourself genuinely enjoying his company. He was funny, down-to-earth, and didn’t seem to have any of the pretentiousness you often encountered in these places. He didn’t mention his job, and you didn’t ask. You talked about music, movies, and travel – all the things that made life interesting.

Your laughter mingled with the thumping bass of the music, your body moving freely to the rhythm. Tom's eyes, a striking shade of blue, sparkled under the dim club lights as he leaned in closer. Your conversation flowed effortlessly, a seamless exchange of stories and laughter that felt strangely intimate for two people who had just met.

Before you knew it, the night had flown by, and the club was starting to thin out. Tom glanced around, then leaned in, his breath warm against your ear. "Do you want to go somewhere quieter? Maybe talk without shouting over the music?"

You hesitated for a brief moment, then nodded. There was something about Tom that made you want to throw caution to the wind, to embrace this rare sense of spontaneity. "Sure, why not?"

You walked through the bustling streets of London, the cool night air a refreshing contrast to the heat of the club. Tom hailed a cab, and you slid into the back seat, a comfortable silence settling between you. The ride was short, and soon, you stood in front of a sleek, modern apartment building. Tom unlocked the door and gestured for you to enter.

You stepped inside, taking in the stylish decor. The apartment was a perfect blend of modern chic and cozy comfort, with clean lines, soft lighting, and personal touches that hinted at Tom’s personality. He led you to the living room, where a leather sofa dominated the space, flanked by bookshelves filled with an eclectic mix of literature and knick-knacks.

"Make yourself comfortable," Tom said, heading to the open-plan kitchen. "What can I get you to drink?"

"Surprise me," you replied, sinking into the plush cushions of the sofa. You watched as Tom expertly mixed two drinks, his movements confident and precise. He handed you a glass, your fingers brushing briefly, sending a jolt of electricity through you.

"To unexpected nights," Tom toasted, raising his glass.

"To unexpected nights," you echoed, clinking her glass against his while you were blushing slightly.

You sipped your drinks, the alcohol warming you from the inside out. The conversation picked up where it had left off, but now there was an added layer of intimacy. You sat close, your knees touching, voices low and hushed. Tom's gaze never left your face, his eyes tracing your features as if trying to memorize them.

The air between you grew charged, the unspoken tension crackling like static. You felt your pulse quicken, your breath coming in shallow bursts. Tom set his glass down and leaned in, his hand gently cupping your cheek. He paused for a heartbeat, searching your eyes for any sign of hesitation. When he found none, he closed the distance, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that was both tender and passionate, making your heartbeat quicken.

You melted into the kiss, your arms wrapping around his neck as you pulled him closer. The world outside faded away, leaving only the two of you lost in the moment. The kiss deepened, your bodies pressed together, a hunger igniting between you.

Tom's hands roamed over your back, tracing the curve of your spine while your fingers tangled in his hair. You broke apart briefly, gasping for air, your foreheads resting together. "Are you sure about this?" Tom whispered, his voice husky with desire.

"More than sure," you replied breathlessly, your heart pounding in her chest.

What followed was a whirlwind of passion and desire. Clothes were shed hastily, discarded in a trail leading to the bedroom. You moved together with an urgency that bordered on desperation, your bodies finding a rhythm that felt both new and familiar. Tom's touch was gentle yet firm, his kisses searing a path across your skin. You felt more alive than you had in a long time, every nerve ending alight with pleasure.

You finally fell asleep in each other’s arms, your bodies entwined, the city outside just a distant hum. The night had been a blur, but one thing was clear: it was a night neither of you would soon forget.

You woke up to the soft light of dawn filtering through the curtains. You carefully slipped out of bed, not wanting to wake Tom. You dressed quietly, glancing back at him, a sense of something deeper stirring within you. You shook it off, knowing this was a one-night stand, nothing more.

You scribbled a quick note thanking him for a wonderful night and left it next to Tom before slipping out the door. The cool morning air hit your face as you stepped outside, swirling within you a mix of exhilaration, confusion, and a hint of sadness.

Back in the apartment, Tom woke up to find the note. He cursed softly under his breath, realizing he had forgotten to ask for your number. He sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the note in his hand, feeling a strange emptiness. For once, he had met someone who treated him like a normal person who didn’t care about his fame or his job. And now you were gone.

You walked through the quiet streets of London, replaying the events of the night in your mind. You knew it was just a fleeting moment, a brief escape from reality, but it was a night you would never forget, a night that made you feel truly alive.

As you reached your apartment, you couldn’t help but wonder what might have been. But you pushed the thought away, determined to hold onto the memory of a perfect night with no regrets. Life would go on, but you would always have that one night in London, with a man named Tom.

Later that morning, Tom found himself at their usual rehearsal spot, a grungy but cozy studio tucked away in East London. The rest of the Sleep Walking Animals were already there, casually tuning their instruments and chatting amongst themselves.

“Morning, mate,” Joe greeted Tom, plucking at his guitar strings.

“Morning,” Tom replied, his voice absent-minded.

Alex, noticing Tom’s distraction, smirked. “Someone’s got their head in the clouds. Or should I say, still in bed with that hot Y/H/C from last night?”

Tom shot him a look. “Shut it, Alex.”

“Oh, come on, Tommy boy,” Bill chimed in, drumming a rhythm on the edge of a table. “You looked proper smitten when you left the club. She must’ve been something special.”

“She was,” Tom admitted, slumping down onto a battered old couch. “But she buggered off before I could even ask for her number.”

“Savage,” Jack said, shaking his head. “Didn’t even leave a name or nothing?”

“She did,” Tom replied, running a hand through his hair. “Y/N. That’s all I got.”

“Y/N,” Nuwan mused, his fingers dancing over the keys absentmindedly. “Could be anyone, mate.”

“Thanks, Captain Obvious,” Tom muttered, frustration evident in his tone. “It’s just... I dunno, she was different. Didn’t give a fuck about who I am or what I do. Just treated me like a normal person.”

“Well, you are a normal person, mostly,” Joe teased. “Except when you’re whining about a girl like a lovesick puppy.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Tom said, but there was a hint of a smile.

“Can’t believe she just legged it,” Bill said, shaking his head in mock disapproval. “What, were you that bad in bed?”

The room erupted in laughter, and Tom threw a cushion at Bill. “Piss off, Caple. It was great, thank you very much.”

Alex leaned over, grinning. “So, did you shag or not?”

Tom rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the grin spreading across his face. “Yeah, we did. And it was... it was amazing.”

“Sounds like you’ve got it bad, mate,” Jack said, strumming a chord on his bass. “Bet you wish you could find her again.”

“Yeah,” Tom admitted, his voice softer now. “I really do.”

The guys exchanged looks, the teasing dropping away for a moment.

“Look, mate,” Joe said, more seriously. “We’ve got a gig tonight. Maybe you’ll meet someone else who’s just as cool. Don’t get too hung up on one girl.”

Tom nodded, knowing Joe was right but still feeling the pang of regret. “Yeah, I suppose.”

Nuwan started playing a familiar tune on the keys, and the rest of the band gradually joined in. The music filled the room, and for a while, Tom let it carry him away, the notes and rhythms a welcome distraction from thoughts of you.

But even as they played, your face lingered in his mind, a reminder of a night that felt all too fleeting and a connection that was painfully out of reach.

You sat with your friends at your favorite coffee shop, a cozy little place with mismatched furniture and a laid-back vibe. Emily, Sarah, and Jess were all there, sipping on their drinks and catching up on the latest gossip. You knew it was only a matter of time before the conversation turned to you.

“So, Y/N,” Jess started with a sly grin, “anything interesting happen last night? You disappeared from the club pretty quick.”

You felt your cheeks flush. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Sarah echoed, her eyebrows raised. “Come on, spill it! Who was the guy?”

“His name’s Tom,” you said, trying to sound casual. “We met at the bar, hit it off, and... well, I went back to his place.”

“Oh my God, Y/N!” Emily exclaimed, nearly spilling her latte. “You had a one-night stand? With a guy you just met?”

“Yeah, I did,” you admitted, unable to hide your smile. “And it was amazing.”

“Details, please,” Jess demanded, leaning in. “How was he? What was his place like?”

“He was... incredible,” you said, feeling the warmth of the memory. “Funny, down-to-earth, and not full of himself. His place was pretty stylish too, very him.”

“Sounds like a dream,” Sarah sighed. “And you didn't get his number?”

You shrugged. “No, I left early, and he was still asleep. I didn’t want to wake him. Besides, it was just a one-night thing.”

“Still,” Emily said, shaking her head, “you should’ve left your number or something. What if he wants to see you again?”

“I doubt it,” you said, trying to sound nonchalant. “He probably doesn’t even remember my name.”

“You never know,” Jess said with a wink. “Maybe he’s thinking about you right now, regretting not getting your number.”

“Yeah, right,” you said, but a small part of you couldn’t help but hope Jess was right.

“Anyway,” Emily said, changing the subject, “my brother’s got tickets to this gig tonight. Some indie band. He asked me to come, and I thought it could be fun. You guys in?”

“Who’s the band?” Sarah asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Sleep Walking Animals,” Emily replied. “Ever heard of them?”

“Sounds vaguely familiar,” Jess said, shrugging. “Why not? I’ve got nothing better to do.”

“Same here,” Sarah agreed. “Could be fun.”

“What about you, Y/N?” Emily asked. “Got any plans tonight?”

You shook her head. “Nope, nothing. I’m in.”

“Great!” Emily said, clapping her hands. “It’s a plan then. We’ll meet up at my place and head over together.”

As you finished your coffees and chatted about other things, you felt a strange sense of anticipation building inside you. You weren't sure why, but the thought of going to this gig excited you. Maybe it was just the idea of a night out with your friends, or maybe, somewhere deep down, you hoped for something more.

[angelofsmalldeaath]

your slice of life style has become such a comfort for me i pick one out to read before i go to bed and they make my heart all warm

if you feel like taking requests/want inspo I’d love to read a rainy day in the life vibe (no pressure tho!! genuinely would read something about watching paint dry if you wrote it)

mwah xx

reading this ask made me feel all warm and fuzzy, you are so so sweet!! 🥹 no like i love it when people tell me they enjoy my writing, it's such a good feeling!! so thank you sm for this ��︎

i really hope this was what you wanted it to be ♡︎

cw: references a previous fic, suggestive

“jesus fuck!” i jump in my seat and glare at him when he snickers. the thunder rumbling is unexpected and loud—louder than it has any right to be.

“scared?” he teases.

“of a little thunder?” i turn my nose up at him, faking bravado, “never. i just don’t wanna get stuck in the rain.”

“too late,” he tsks, and together we look out the cafe window as the light turns watery. the wind picks up, so does the footfall of people running to find shelter. some gather under the awning of the cafe we’re in, some run across the street and find shelter in other establishments. 

he takes hold of my hand. “we could still make it if we ran…”

i look down at our table—at our empty coffee cups and breakfast plates—and then back up outside the window. fat drops of rain hit the glass, one after the other, racing down until they all converge into a tiny puddle. 

“could we?”

“what’s the harm?” he points at his jacket, “we could use this as cover.”

i contemplate it for a second, picture it in my head and laugh—the two of us dashing through the rain under a jacket that isn’t nearly big enough. another rumble from the skies makes me jolt. this time he manages to stifle his laugh. 

“so?”

“alright,” i nod, gathering my things and wiping my hands on the tissues. he holds my hand the moment we scramble to our feet. the door chimes softly as we push it open, and immediately the wind and rain rush to greet us.

“fuck!” i squeal, “‘m freezing my tits off!”

i groan the moment i hear his little juvenile giggle—an uncharacteristically boyish sound from a giant of a man. “i could warm them for you, you know?”

“you’re such a man!” i roll my eyes, trying to stifle a smile but he pulls me out from under the awning and right into the torrential rain. 

under the thin shelter of his jacket, we huddle close, our bodies pressed together to keep as dry as possible. the rain is colder than i expected, and the pavement is already slick beneath our feet. we take off running, his laughter ringing in my ears, mingling with the roar of the storm.

“shit, we’re so unhealthy,” i huff, breathless and barely a street down from the cafe. 

he raises his brow at me. “we?”

“shut up,” i punch his shoulder lightly. he’s barely out of breath though, looking at me with amusement and mostly drenched from the rain now.

his hair is plastered to his face too. the water clings to his eyelashes and a drop falls on his nose, making its way down to his lips. it’s mesmerising, in a way—a drop of water on his lips and suddenly he’s the most beautiful man i’ve ever seen. 

when the thunder rumbles again—much louder than before—i stagger to a stop, right in the middle of the pavement like a deer caught in headlights. this time he doesn’t laugh, he just pulls me into him and pulls us into a little alley that seems a bit shielded than the main street.

“you’re okay,” he tucks a wet strand of hair behind my ear.

“we always end up in alleys somehow,” i try to wipe my face on my sleeves but it’s useless. 

“we do,” he nods. we stare at each other—me, completely breathless, him, breathing in this odd rhythm that makes me think of all sorts of things. 

he moves towards me, our toes touching, his wet body pressed into mine. it’s darker here, in this alley. the buildings tower over us, but the rain is just as relentless. 

“we should hurry up and go home,” i point out but it holds no conviction at all. 

“we should,” he nods and bends down to kiss me. 

on his lips i taste the raindrop from before. it’s sweet—or perhaps it’s just the taste of him, sweet and familiar and like home. and even when the rough wall digs into my back and thunder echoes all around me, i melt into him, fist my hands into his jumper and pull him so close that no air can pass between us any longer. 

“you…” he swipes his tongue over my lip and i shiver, “should have listened to me.”

“the breakfast date was your idea!”

“in bed!” he protests against my mouth, kissing me a little harder. 

“and who was going to make the food?” i challenge, holding back a moan. 

“who said i wanted to eat food?”

my cheeks heat up. i laugh and hide my face in his chest—something he always finds particularly endearing. “so we should hurry up and go home then… i am dying to get out of these clothes.”

this time when he nods, there’s a twinkle in his eyes. he pulls away and i shiver from the cold until he holds my hand again and pulls us back on the main street. the jacket is back on our heads, drenched and utterly useless but i like how the world looks from under it and from by his side. 

when the thunder rumbles again, i don’t stop. i only hold onto him tighter and we run through the streets faster. 

[lloydskywalkers]

Hi!

I just wanted to say I enjoy your writing and am beyond delighted you're back!

(I also hope I don't come across as too forward/pushy of me but was wondering if you are open to fic prompts in general, or if there's a chance you might take prompts in the future?)

Thank you so much for sharing your fics and gifsets and everything you bring to this fandom, it's a genuine joy to see your posts on my dash and I hope you have a wonder day!

Oh thank you so much i'm so happy to hear that!! I hope you have a wonderful day as well :D

And on prompts — they're always a little dicey for me because I would love to open them at some point! but I currently don't have official plans since I'm still trying to resurrect my writing habits, and I tend to write. a LOT when i write fics so answering every prompt might take five years T-T

That being said, tho — I am always open to people sending in suggestions! I'm not sure if I'll be able to get to them in a reasonable time, but I do love bouncing ideas when the inspiration strikes and I've had fun answering asks with fics before

[songliili]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thank you @happiness-of-the-pursuit for tagging me

How many works do you have on ao3? only 10 as of now, but i hope it'll be 13 by the end of the year

What's your total ao3 word count? 107,767

What fandoms do you write for? rwrb and supernatural. although it's mostly rwrb as of now

Top five fics by kudos:

we all have a hunger - Henry is a porn star, Alex is a fan.

bro, you're fucking hung! - Alex is fascinated by Henry's huge dick.

Fill My Stocking - Alex wants some attention and Henry has to get creative.

you should floss more - Dean goes to the dentist and is his usual disaster bi self. Lucky for him, his dentist doesn't mind.

footage of (y)our love - Alex and Henry get married, and 2/3 of the Super Six documented their love story.

Do you respond to comments? yes, i do my best at not leaving them unanswered!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? probably I Had Some Time (With You) because of the mcd tag and the kind of open ending with claire and jody that i left just in case i decide to write claire's story. but i also think that dean and cas had a soft beautiful and loving end, so yeah it's sad but i don't think it's a sad fic? more like haunting in a positive way (this makes me sound so pretentious but i just love that story so much and i'd love for more people to read it it too)

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i genuinely don't know? all of them have happy endings imo... probably psau1 tho. simply because i'm writing the sequel and i know they're even more happy lmao.

Do you get hate on fics? thankfully i don't!

Do you write smut? yep! and i thought i wasn't able to. (peep at my two most popular fics being rated E and the second being just pwp)

Craziest crossover: i don't think it's crazy but I Had Some Time (With You) kind of is a crossover with the last of us? i mixed up tlou and spn.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of, but i don't think anyone would steal my stuff, i'm nobody

Have you ever had a fic translated? ... well............. eight years ago i wrote a fic for a kpop group and before orphaning it someone asked me permission to translate it. i don't know if they ever did it, and i can't check cause i don't remember the title so i can't even look it up

Have you ever co-written a fic before? i've started writing a fic with @zeppelinmixtape a while ago, we should pick it back up.

All time favorite ship? destiel and firstprince, obviously

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? probably the great dean court off, and it's a shame cause i love it and i want to finish it cause i have the ending clear in my head, but i changed so much as a writer that i think i'd have to rework it all to avoid a stark contrast between then and now/the future.

What are your writing strengths? once @cactusdragon517 told me that my italian brain "lends so much to it. It is so beauful and the way you write it feels like reading something SACRED." (yes, i copy-pasted their message cause i saved it in a note on my phone for when i need a ego boost)

What are your writing weaknesses? i'm verbose but at the same time i skim on things. small things turn into big things and fics that can be under 5k turn into 10k, 'cause small, insignificant details and context in conversations are needed; but not descriptions. for the life of me i can't remember that people aren't in my head and they need to know who's talking and what the place they're in looks like.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? i'm a sucker for it, but if they're written in a language i know i will be critic of the translation used - and if i know the author i will suggest a translation that in my opinion is better.

First fandom you wrote in? aforementioned kpop fandom. no, i will not disclose what group or pairing.

Favorite fic you've written? I Had Some Time (With You) and we all have a hunger. but also mh fp, ciayaq? and psau2 that live in my wips folder. (and if y'all want to tell me what's your favourite of my silly little fics, let me know!)

i guess i have to tag 20 people now, i don't know who's done this already so forgive me if you did.

(mae, chrissy, consider your previous tags as tagging for the game lmao)

@father-salmon @underwaterninja13 @leojfitz @read-and-write- @littlemisskittentoes @galitzine-nick @inexplicablymine @affectionatelyrs @gayrootvegetable @wordsofhoneydew @emmalostinwonderland @rockyroadkylers @three-drink-amy @theprinceandagcd @imyourhoneybeespn @princehgejfmw @absolute-audacity @firenati0n

[misc-obeyme]

what do you think it'd take for barbie to show all those restrained emotions tho? surely theres a breaking point even for him. give the poor guy a hug and massage yknow

Well, anon, I have thought about this quite a bit! I even wrote a little fic based around this idea.

I definitely think there’s a breaking point, but I think there are a couple of ways that he might open up more.

The suggestion of a hug and massage is a good one because I think this guy spends so much time taking care of other people that he wouldn’t know what to do if someone was taking care of him. It’s too unsettling for him if it’s a big deal. In his birthday events I always felt like he was just going along with things for the sake of everyone else. But I think that if someone he loves, like MC, just did something sweet and simple for him in private - like a massage or even just a hug - that he would reveal some of his feelings in that moment. He would finally allow that person to care for him and maybe show the depth of his own weariness.

Kind of similar, but I think he would slowly but surely open up to someone he trusts. Again it feels like something he would only do in quiet moments with MC. When they’re alone and he doesn’t feel like he has to maintain his butler persona quite so much.

And if MC really made the effort to show him that they want to take care of him, too, that they want him to confide in them, to be his full genuine self with them, I think he’d meet them there. I think he would then make the effort to hold back less when he’s with them. Just because he can see how much it means to them.

In the end I suppose I think Barbatos would open up to someone he loves, but who doesn’t need him to take care of them. Sure he likes to take care of MC, but MC is not dependent on him. Because I think Barbatos loves Diavolo too but isn’t as open with him as he might be because Dia needs him. And Barbatos very much indicates that he considers himself to be in Diavolo’s service. But he isn’t MC’s butler. So that dependence isn’t there.

I would say it’s also possible that he might lose some of his control if the people he cared about were in danger. I have no doubt that we’d see how angry he can get if that was the case. But I think even in the face of such anger he’d be able to keep his calm and come to everybody’s rescue.

So I definitely think it’s the soft sweet moments that would make him finally reveal some truths about his feelings. When it’s just him and MC and he doesn’t have to be anything other than who he is. When he trusts that it’s okay to let go a little. When he realizes that MC just wants him to be happy, whatever that means for him. When MC tells him that he’s safe, that they aren’t concerned about whatever reason he has for holding himself back so much. That they trust him. That’s when I think he would show those emotions he’s always hiding.

[gothsuguru]

Hi hi hi ! ♡♡♡

The only thing I can think of is the Mc running her fresh acrylic nails on Suguru's scalp. I bet he likes the feeling :3:3:3

I was thinking a medium coffin shape but feel free to make it whatever ♡♡♡

It's a bit of a weird thing but I like when mcs have cute acrylic nails :333

I totally bet Mc fell first but suguru fell harder tho lol

Oooooooooooo it def should be suggestive.

Set the scene. (Ignore this atp I'm just fantasizing u don't need to try to include this lol) We're all at one of Satoru's obnoxiously loud parties. Music shaking the house, booze everywhere. What starts out as friendly conversation, ends up with them sharing a blunt and grinding on each other

S9SDJDKJDNDJD I AM SO WEAK FOR THIS MAN AND YOUR WRITING ♡♡♡

OH YOU’RE A GENIUS!!!!!! i just know reader & suguru love playing w each other’s hair so much and the ACRYLICS omg i love coffin-shape acrylics so much <3 i think he’d love the feeling in his hair/it would calm him down and the entire time he’s like “wow my gf literally is so sweet… playing w my hair… i love her so much 🥹🤧” meanwhile reader is like “Damn I Need His Haircare Routine Or Else I’ll Die.”

BLACK IS THE COLOR!MC FELL FIRST BUT SUGURU FELL HARDER YOU GET IT! 🗣️🗣️🗣️ i think reader is v open w their compliments and immediately were like “wow you’re beautiful” and suguru just couldn’t help but blush (he’s used to people hitting on him but he knew you were being genuine w no hidden intentions… just a very Pure compliment as if you’re simply stating a fact) and HEHE also. i think he fell for you instantly i don’t think it took time for him to Fall In Love but i think it takes time for him to Accept It if that makes any sense… i’ll try & explore and explain those feelings more in the fic!

AND YAY TO GRINDING 🤭🤭🤭 i have an Idea for that in mind already but omfg yours is very fratboy!sugu coded WHEW… if YOU wanna write that feel free 👀

[strawbrygashez]

Postal 2 Dude x Reader

Get Away

This fic is based around the part in apocalypse weekend when he wakes up in the hospital! So tw for mention of a su*cide attempt & abuse. If I need to tag something else let me know. Also no gender specific stuff for reader. Dude calls them sweetcheeks tho 🤷‍♀️

————————————————————————

A peaceful moment in Paradise, it rarely ever happens around Dude anymore but he supposes that just makes it all the better when it does occur, especially with you around. If there had been at least one good outcome of Dude living in this town and just the batshit situations he always finds himself in, it’s that it’s all really helped him appreciate the little moments more. And god was he appreciating it right now. There is no place he’d rather be right now than here with you, basking in the unusual calmness that washed over the town as you and Dude sat on a hill that allowed you two to watch people go about their daily life.

The past half hour had been comfortably silent between you two as you guys observed and snacked but Dude, being himself of course was the first one to actually speak up in a while. “Do ya think they are just like this now because I’m not down there?” He asked before glancing over to you, who was still resting your head on his shoulder. You only answered him with a shrug, not looking away from below yet. Dude seemingly thought to himself for a moment before picking up a near by napkin and whipping his fingers free of grease from the burger he’d just had. “Hm. Well if you’re getting bored I can spice things up a little bit, yknow?” A devious smile spread across his face. “Just one little sound of a gunshot and…” he trailed off as he watched you finally grin and unfocus off the mindless ‘sheep’ that walked below you two. You nudged him before finally sitting up right and stretching. “Oh shut up Dude. We were having a nice moment there.” You half heartedly berated him before moving yourself to lay on your side with your head in dudes lap. He continued to grin as he looked down at you. “Can’t help it. Watching these fuckers run around, beg for their lives, and fight each other has kinda become a stimulating thing for me. Kinda like white noise.”

You rolled your eyes with a scoff but opted out of say anything for the moment. You instead let out a content sigh as you closed your eyes which not to your knowledge, made Dudes heart swell a little. He couldn’t remember the last time someone seemed so comfortable around him or treated him like he wasn’t some dangerous unfeeling lunatic or a useless shell of a man. The only person he felt a genuine connection with was with you. You who trusted him so much to the point where even though a moment ago he suggested stirring up chaos just for the fun of it, yet, you still closed your eyes and rested on him. He knew it didn’t make any sense, he’s questioned why you stayed before but at a moment like this, all he wanted to do was enjoy the moment and watch you. He did so for a bit, only just occasionally letting his mind wonder off of you until he decided to reach out and move your hair back behind your ear since the wind had began to pick up but before he could, you suddenly spoke up, eyes opening.

“You know, this day could only get any better if you woke up.” Dude stared at you for a moment “uh, what?” He asked. “You need to wake up.” You repeated, your eyes suddenly looking up into his. ‘What in the fuck are you talking about?’ Dude thought to himself but only got out, “I..am awake?” He raised a eyebrow before chuckling. “Did you take something before we came up here? I told you tha-” suddenly, to Dudes surprise you sat up and took hold of his face, causing him to actually jump. And almost suddenly all the calmness from before had completely disappeared, he could somehow feel the people from below stop and look up at you two, he could hear what began as whispers and pieces of conversations slowly devolve into incomprehensible groans and occasional screaming, and the suddenly bright and clear sky had turned a disturbing shade of red..and worst of all your begs for him to wake up became more deeper and deeper groans. He wanted to shove you off but he couldn’t, he couldn’t move a single part of his body even when he’d wanted so badly to when your eyes slowly had gotten glossed over with a deep watery blue marble shade. “you need to wake up.”

-

“GAH!!!” Dude spat out suddenly as his body involuntarily jumped forward, he quickly regretted it even more as blinding lights hit his eyes and a sharp pain rushed through his head, causing him to groan. He covered his eyes as he blindly felt around for his sunglasses, starting to notice two distinct things. One being that he was definitely in a bed of some sorts, and the other thing being a constant annoying beeping sound from nearby.

Finally feeling his glasses next to him in the sheets, he uncovered his eyes just enough at first to notice the bedsheets were definitely not his, clueing him in that he wasn’t even in his house. Slipping them on, he was able to look without squinting and that’s when he noticed you. You had your arms crossed on the bed, the side of your head resting on them. From what he could tell, you were..awake?? But maybe out of it? You looked a bit rough, with bloodshot eyes with bags under them, at least that’s what he could tell from what he could see of your half opened eyes gazing into no where in particular. Why would you be wherever you two are like this? Why are you two even- oh….shit. It finally clicked for him when he’d put two and two together.

He was definitely in the hospital but why? Did some fucking civilian get their revenge for something he did in passing? Whatever the fuck it was, It did make Dude feel kinda happy that you had been there for him. He was about to say something smart until you suddenly sat back up after he’d just moved a little bit. Dude and you blankly stared at each other for a moment. Him confused with what was going on and you silently thanking god that he finally came to. You knew he wasn’t going to die according to the doctors but seeing Dude actually moving again…if you hadn’t cried yourself out already the other night…there was multiple things you wanted to say to him, ask him, fuss at him about, but you knew that it wouldn’t be any good right now. He’d just woken up so.. “O-oh. Dude you can’t…” you slowly stood up and pushed him back gently down to make him lay against the bed. He let you even though he still seemed completely indifferent to what was happening. “…your head.. they said when you woke up you shouldn’t move too much.” You continued before taking your spot back on the chair you had pulled up next to the bed.

“I..what the fuck is- agh fuck!” Dude suddenly held his hand up to the wound on his head, a awful ringing had came out of nowhere, bad enough to make him scrunch up his face. You looked down at him, a feeling of remorse washing over yet again as he began to realize what had happened to him wasn’t something he’s just gonna be able to walk off like he usually does. You slowly reached your hand up to move his away from the wound and found yourself not wanting to let go of the warmth of his hand, so you held it there by his side as you looked down, not really sure what to say. All you knew was you wanted to feel his warmth right now.

“Seriously..what happened? How long have you been here? How long have I..” Dude trailed off. You looked back up at him, he could see so much hurt in your eyes but for what? You knew he always gets up again and- “you seriously don’t remember?” You asked him. He shook his head no (only to be reminded not to move so much when that also sent pain through his head). You stared at him for a minute before somehow, it seemed you actually did have it left in you to cry again as your lips began to tremble. You tried to keep it in as best as you could as you looked back down so you wouldn’t have to meet his gaze. “Y-you shot….yourself Dude. How do you not remember?” The warmth of your hand left Dude as you went to wipe your tears that began to fall away yet again. You couldn’t even count the number of times you ended up crying the other night and this morning. Every time you thought you were okay and were ‘going to be strong for him’, you fell apart.

Dude had really needed to hear that though because slowly he put together what had happened the other night..the bitch non-stop screaming and arguing, putting out yet another cigarette on him, punching him…him reaching for the gun…..Fuck. As fucked up as it was to think, now he wished more than ever it would have actually killed him because you were here crying over him and by the looks of it, hadn’t slept at all and stayed by him for god knows how long. He hadn’t even been thinking of how it would have effected you in the moment, the only thing he knew was he wanted out so bad. There was tons of things he should be saying, so many thoughts bouncing around now but all that came out was a ‘pathetic’ “I don’t know…..I’m s-”

“Yknow, I w-watched them carry you out of the house..I saw it all..even the bitch acting like she suddenly cared and..I don’t know. I was so fucking scared seeing you like that Dude. I could barely make my way o-over here. I didn’t know what to do with myself and..” whatever else you had wanted to say in that moment left your mind as you couldn’t stop yourself from tearing up again, to the point you couldn’t try to get words out if you wanted. Dude was pretty sure that he has never felt shittier in his life watching and hearing all this..even compared to how he felt the other night. He was silent for a minute before he moved to sit up again. “Look..I’m sorry I just- I didn’t-agh!” he placed his hand up to his head again when another jolt of pain rushed through him but he carried on anyways, “I’m sorry I just..wanted to get away from it all. Not you just…everything else. I couldn’t deal with everything and the bitches nagging and just-”

He stopped himself once you sat back up, sniffling loudly and wiped most of the tears away that you could. “Don’t..don’t worry about explaining it all right now..it’s not gonna help anyone right now. You need to rest..I’m sorry I just..I just really care about you Dude. We can do this all later. I’m sorry.” You tried to give him a little reassuring look but he could tell you still had so much you wanted to get out at the moment. But as it was for right now… he took your hand again and held it tight. “Don’t apologize.. okay? I just wasn’t thinking about..yknow you. I don’t want you to think you weren’t doing enough. I just..I dunno. It’s all just fucked yknow?” Was the best he could say right now but you didn’t expect more..so you only nodded a bit. Him holding your hand did help you calm down just a tad so you felt okay enough to add something else in… “yeah..uhm if you feel that way I don’t think those cards that people left will help very much. Well expect maybe one had kinda good news..”

He glanced where you were looking to and indeed seen three cards. One that particularly caught his attention was the one that was signed from the bitch. Half of him wanted to just ignore it and say fuck it but the other half just wanted to get whatever new bullshit information out of the way since yknow, someone somewhere said it wasn’t his time yet so it was time for the same old, same old again anyways. He sighed and let go of your hand and picked that one up first, reading it out loud to himself..and what? He almost didn’t believe his eyes as he reread the part about her leaving him again and again and again..and shit he couldn’t help that feeling of excitement getting even more intense when he peaked over and saw you smiling a tad, knowing what he was double checking. “HAH! DID YOU SEE THIS?” He asked as he held it out to you. Seeing his excitement definitely did ease your own pain up a bit. Being able to see Dude give that goofy grin of his still… “mhm..I guess the dogs off the old ball and chain now so-” Dude suddenly tossed the card to the side. “Yeah, so come here!”

He grinned as you gave him a slightly confused look but complied anyways, once you leaned down just a bit, he used what energy he had left to drag you down into a kiss. It wasn’t a over the top, so emotionally passionate you could cry type of kiss but it was more than enough for you and you knew you were in for some more later but you did take it upon yourself to kiss him back slightly more deeply. Once you two pulled away, he was still grinning, “God I’ve wanted to do that..uh probably since I met you!” You couldn’t help but smile back at him. “Mhm. Same here.. and now I really can’t be called a home wrecker.” You joked. “What can I say? I’m a faithful man.” Too faithful but again, you can tell him all about how he deserves to be treated later. “Yeah, yeah.” You replied as you gently moved some of his hair out of his face which he seemed very content with, almost like he could melt. You felt like you could stay like this forever now, sitting with him but a sudden memory came up “Oh shit.. I forgot I needed to tell the doctor when you woke back up.” You said as you started to get up. “Don’t worry about it I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine. It will only just be a minute. And while I’m out I’ll get you something from the vending machines..unless you want hospital food I guess.” Dude shook his head again (still not learning from the last time) “you know me well sweetcheeks. Get me my usuals.” He said finally laying back down again. You kissed him one more time on the cheek before leaving.

-

A little while after, the door opened again. Expecting to see you he smiled and almost began going on about whatever again but it quickly faded once he realized it was just a nurse. He groaned and tuned most of what they were saying out. The only thing he managed to hear was “you are very lucky mr Dude” which…he thought on for a minute and decided that they were right. The only reason he was lucky was because he had you around and could be with you now.

[boqvistsbabe]

Update!!!!!!!!

Hey Y’all!!

Here is the start of hopefully monthly updates. I know in my last update I said I was going to be more consistently here and active. Obviously, that didn’t happen lol. Trying to hold myself to that rn. So this is probably going to be the format for all of my update posts, just so they are easier to follow.

Refresh:

So I am almost completely done with the blog refresh. I think all that is left is updating links and getting some other posts (ex: theme days) made/redone. Most of that got put on the back burner due to how long they were going to take lol. But hopefully, over Spring Break, I’ll be able to get those done (no promises, another thing I’m trying to do, is be more realistic about what I want to get done by when so). 

Writing/Other Content:

Ik I said I’d write more. Once again didn’t really happen. Well, I have written a decent bit, but never finished anything. There is one fic that I am going to try and work on after this week (midterms lol) and have someone look over it (the first time I’ve had a beta reader, look at me go lol). Like the blog as a whole, I am trying to organize my writing, like requests and my ideas and what is going out when etc. (@ any of the other writers if you have any suggestions of what to/where to organize my stuff so it doesn’t get all confusing and mixed up you should def let me know). Speaking of requests, I am going to try and do at least two requests a month. That doesn’t sound like a lot but for me, that feels like something I can realistically do. I will be doing old requests first because even though they are years old at this point, I liked the ideas so I genuinely want to write them. I am still going to be accepting new requests (esp because sometimes that helps spark creativity/help with writer’s block so feel free to send in any ideas!!) but I will try to get those older ones done first. As for any other content (playlists, moodboards, IG edits, drawings, etc.) I am also taking requests for those so feel free to send in any of those requests too. 

Another Blog?!

As of rn the second hockey blog has not been “released”. I want to catch up on things for this blog before I throw that into the mix and try to grow that as well. I am hoping to add that sometime this summer. Also, I do technically have a sideblog already (@samistheman) which is normally where I reblog random things, and I don’t really have tags for that blog I just kinda willy-nilly reblog there (it used to be mostly PJO stuff but now that’s kind of here because of how much of it there is lol).

Life Update:

College is a lot rn. I’m doing 17 credit hours and tbh do not know what possessed me to do that. At first, I was doing pretty good, but now not so much. Like I said earlier I have midterms this week. If y’all didn’t know this, I’m shit at taking tests so not doing great rn. Thankfully one of my classes ends on Sunday so at least I don’t have to worry about that. I’ve had a lot going on in my personal life recently that is impacting a lot so trying to navigate that as well. I am moving out in May, which is yes months from now but there is still a lot that I need to do beforehand. Anyway, I’m going to a college hockey game on Thursday and I am super excited. I haven’t been able to go to a game since October. Also little fun update, I’m going on a weekend (work) trip to Boston. Super excited for that. I’ll be getting to go to a Celtics game and a Red Sox game (I’m a Royals girlie tho). I’ve never been to an NBA game so that’s for sure gonna be really cool. I’ve been to many MLB games before but this will be my first at a different stadium. Anyway, I think that is it for this update. Hope y’all are doing well!!

As usual, if y’all ever want to talk dms/inbox are open <3

I am going to tag some moots, I am totally forgetting some people so I am sorry for that (if y'all could reblog that would be amazing)

@2manytabsopen @krugstrash @jimmystrudel @andreburakozy @sidneycrosbyhoe @fallinallincurls @timstuetzle @typical-simplelove @ilyasorokinn @drei-mrssvechii

[canayams-art]

yesyes i do think after lqq gets that shock out of his system first, he would want to confront mq about him and hear his side and an explanation. i don't believe lqq knowing that would put an irreparable dent into their relationship because at the end of the day, that suggestion never went through and mq never pursued to destroy yong'an after the war.

and OH MY GOD the way you put mq's side of the story here is soo true because i don't think he would focus too much on the one suggestion to end the war that never went through until it was brought up and threatened to ruin a relationship with someone he genuinely began to care for. because at the end, it was more of a desperate way to end the war that is being dragged on than any real malice towards yong'an. and i do think after both thinking about it himself and hearing what mq has to say on the matter, lqq would understand that as well.

the two of them healing together and learning to let go of the past pains regarding their kingdoms history 🥹 they make me so soft

this is tickling the very specific side of my brain as well and oh my god i genuinely hope i will have time to maybe turn this into a fic at some point because i absolutely ADOREE getting new rarepairs into my collection and this one is ticking almost all of the boxes at this point jsjsjsjdjdjd if i do end up writing something for them i will make sure to let you know dwdw

and mq getting the friendship he never believed he could have from xl in lqq is making me bawl, especially because there is less of an obvious power imbalance between them, since they would obviously start off as more or less of equals when they meet. which would make mq both more open with lqq in a way he never could be with xl

im curious tho, how do you think the rest of the heavens would see their relationship? because im sure there would be side comments about mq probably wanting to "serve another prince" and such thrown around :"))

Shaking your hands shaking your hands !!!

It really is making me think about the perspective immortality gives to a person when they’re able to be so far away from events of their own life because those events were maybe one or two (or more) lifetimes ago. Would a god be more forgiving than a man? It’s a fun space to play in.

AND YEAH SO MUCH POTENTIAL FOR AN EARNEST FRIENDSHIP ! Something mq lacks and lqq can so easily offer! I always think about the fact that lqq answers any private communication he receives regardless of the person’s status— he’s easy to talk to and I feel like he’s generally well liked among the other gods, even if they also think he’s naive. And maybe mq also thinks that way about him. Maybe that changes the more he gets to know lqq— similar to how he felt with xl. But like you said— less power imbalance!

I feel like the other gods would be confused to see mq making a genuine attempt at friendship with lqq— Tai Hua doesn’t seem like the type of person he would want to associate with. And he’s not even making snippy quips at him! His scoldings about how lqq is too lenient with his duties and too carefree don’t have the same cutting bite that the gods are used to seeing when mq engages with fx, for example, or even when he decides to lurk in the group communication arrays. I could see it raising eyebrows for sure.

And that’s not to say mq wouldn’t make remarks at lqq but I think lqq would probably brush them off unless they called into question his own moral standings. They feel like they would be able to tease and banter comfortably, even if mq is the main source of teasing and lqq is the main source of banter.

Anyway, circling back to the gods seeing this happen,,,, I do think the ones most likely to tease mq about finding another prince to serve would be the same gods Hua Cheng dueled and destroyed— mq seems pretty well-respected by most of the gods, even if he’s not liked by them. The gods he helped during xl’s first banishment seem like the types who would easily judge and comment. But once they’re gone I feel like maybe mq would feel a pressure come off of him. They got what they had coming in mq’s mind— they were vane fools for accepting hc’s terms. Their opinions of mq don’t affect him anymore.

On the other hand it feels like the aggressions would all be pointed at mq more than lqq cos lqq’s reaction— I assume— would be a straightforward confrontation that kicks up a stink among the gods. We’ve all seen how he acted in court when xl’s identity was revealed to him, and while this doesn’t feel as weighty as that situation, I don’t think lqq would stand to hear the way the gods talk about mq— whether he’s mad about mq’s war strategies or not. He WILL make it into something if he ever catches wind of the gossip. Mq wouldn’t roll over and take any of it either, but his way of fighting back isn’t as loud as lqq’s would be. Mq works behind the scenes while lqq takes to the stage lol

If you ever decide to write something for any of this please know you would have my life in the palm of your hands. I will never be the same. Lives will be changed !

[ode2rin]

✧˚ · . 【𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒】

╰─▸ ❝ 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋:

blank blogs / ageless blogs / spam likes = block :)

i softblock or remove the following when i am bothered by anything, which isn't very personal i promise !! it's simply me trying to make this a genuinely enjoyable experience for myself :D (feel free to do the same thing w me !!)

for the most part, this blog will be sfw. the closest i'll get is suggestive content (which i'll still tag appropriately). if you want my nsfw blog, it's probably somewhere out here in tumblr xD kidding! just ask :>

some occasional explicit thirst/content/rambles will be tagged accordingly, if you're a minor, please don't interact with them.

also, i am fine with nsfw blogs interacting with me.

for my works, any age is free to interact!

and for interacting with me, any is also okay (i won’t followback unless you’re 15+ though)

have your age on your bio (so i know how to act around you, if you interact with me !!)

╰─▸ ❝ 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆:

i do not write nsfw and dark themes (in this blog), or any sensitive topics.

i will usually write in gender neutral tones, reader's pronouns will always be they/them. i may sometimes write gender specific ones but it will be a rare occurrence here :>

i don't do requests, but ideas are welcome though!

i don't have a posting schedule, i write only when i feel like it :D

╰─▸ ❝ 𝐁𝐘𝐅:

please know that i'm multilingual and english is not my first language, there will be (a lot of) times that my grammar and my syntax would not be the best, if that bothers you then this blog might not be for you hehe

i'm new here like that kind of new in a platform (as of writing this, month of may 2023!!) so i sometimes don't know whatnots especially on the technical side of tumblr

i joke and swear a lot, i also scream a lot about my interests, and if you don't like a bother in your dash, i'd appreciate if you'll rethink following me hehe.

i also suck at making things look pretty, so.. if the disastrousness of my blog bothers you (me too..) i guess i'll see u go !

i'm usually busy ._. and only opens this app when i have time to dispose or a brainrot is getting too real

i sometimes (usually) write fics that are inspired with taylor swift's songs bec i really like her art !! if that bothers you, suit yourself :D

lastly, this blog isn't just made for writing. i sometimes share personal things about me too :>

feel free to shoot me an ask or a message (don't trauma dump tho.. unless warranted by me) !

ESPECIALLY MY MUTUALS PLS MESSAGE ME ANYTIME (in my book we're friends)

╰─▸ ❝ 𝐃𝐍𝐈:

if you are homophobic, racist, transphobic, or just a hateful human being in general. i cannot stomach people like that. also, i don't like people who 'shades' others and think that it's edgy and quirky to be sending hate for no reason.

DNI IF YOU SUPPORT ISRAEL.

[zombolouge]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by the incomparable and enchanting @icescrabblerjerky , and you caught me while I'm already comparing writing stats for other things so this fits in well with that task ;)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 19 baybeee

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 2,319,545. I am. Verbose.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Legend of Zelda, Ace Attorney, Mystic Messenger, and then I wrote the novelization of the song 6969 by Ninja Sex Party and a Caduceus character study for CR.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Indefensible (Ace Attorney) has 1,234 (HA!)

As Bright as the Stars (Mystic Messenger) has 1111 (ALSO HA)

Tearing Down the Heavens (Dragon Age: Inquisition) has 730

Hundred Years in the Making (LoZ: Breath of the Wild) has 627

We Are Ferelden (Dragon Age: Origins) has 271

Genuinely really surprised none of the Mass Effect fics are in this category, I'm so proud of those XD

5. Do you respond to comments? Absolutely always, whenever possible. lol I will also ramble at anyone that asks me questions.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably The Traveler, which I warn you from the very start has a sad ending. It's Dragon Age fic retelling the stories Solas tells of his time dreaming in the Fade, with the trappings of a Doctor Who theme in which he travels through the fade with a series of companions.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Uhhhhhhh I think probably We Are Ferelden comes closes to a happy ending? Eventually I will give my DA series an actual happy ending though. Most of them end either bittersweet in some way or as a sort of non-ending ending because I know the story continues.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I've gotten a wee bit of hate on the Zelda fic, Hundred Years in the Making, but it was fairly mild. I don't really respond to it much though because it's hard for a stranger to say something that will actually hurt my fee fees XD

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Oh yeah, sure. Most my fics contain smut of some kind. I don't really write smut without plot, though, it's gotta be a natural part of the narrative or I just lose interest.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I have not. I just haven't thought of one that caught my attention enough to want to write it down.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of. I have had some lines and suggestions used, but usually that's with credit. lol now I HAVE had jokes and things I've said stolen but that's a bit different.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope! I'd prob be open to it but I'd deffo want credited as the OG author.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! I think it's been orphaned now though lol

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? I CAN'T CHOOSE THIS. But prob Shakarian.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I will finish all my WIPs, how dare you doubt me. (The Traveler would have been my choice for this but I FINISHED IT NOW MOTHERFUCKER)

16. What are your writing strengths? Words....go many. Big words. lmao honestly I don't ever really know. I think I'm good at characterization.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Brevity.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I do it sometimes, but usually make an author's note that it's done with shitty translation software so it will not be Authentic. (if I were putting it in a novel I'd prob pay to have someone look it over, but fic is free and thus my resources put into it are limited lol)

19. First fandom you wrote for? I'm gonna assume the AU crossover I wrote for Pokemon/Dragonriders of Pern/Zelda/Narnia when I was 9 does not count. lol it was Dragon Age tho

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written? My Mass Effect series, I think. I love different things about all my fics, usually because I was doing different things in all of them, but A Name for the Stars trilogy is something that I'm most proud of. Almost every scene in that serves a plot purpose and I wove a LOT of different things together to create one cohesive thing, and I think if you can get through all of it, it has the biggest bang for the buck. Also I burned that realllll slow XD

I will tag @jusbeinkt and @kesla and @literarypeachtea and @tinkeringteacup (do it if you feel like it, no pressure here frens lol)

[kyokiiro]

Request rules

First things first, when requesting please do a proper greeting. Im a human not a bot. A thank you and/or please is enough!! Also if i don't write you request, it's either bc you requested smth against my rules or bc your request was very vague.

I write for female reader, gn reader, and male reader. Tho, i prefer female and gn reader since i'm more experienced at that. But i still write for male reader, but I'll most likely do those less<33 (note: I won't write for trans reader due the fact i don't wanna accidentally trigger someones body dysphoria.)

Please do specify what the readers gender will be. If not stated, the gender will automatically be gender-neutral.

I write for fluff, angst, crack , hurt/comfort, hurt/no comfort, platonic and familial

I'm completely fine with writing poly fics, so feel free to request those.

I will not write full/explicit NSFW. It makes me very uncomfortable, and i'm still a minor. But i'm fine with suggestive asks.

Children are strictly platonic only. I don't want any romantic requests with children. (ex. klee, sayu, etc. I'm fine with minors like noelle, chongyun, etc. but only romantic requests, no suggestive ones)

I don't write romantic requests for every adult character, so i advise you to check my character list to see who i write platonic only for

I also don't write anything with heavy gore. I don't mind explicit gore, but preferably not.

I don't take yandere asks anymore as of rn. It's not exactly my cup of tea. But idm just talking about it (as long as it's sfw & no heavy gore, feel free to drop anything in my inbox)

I do write self-aware au's for hsr, genshin & zzz. But i can also do other au's like modern, isekai, etc!

I'm also fine with writing for a specific mental illness/disorder. But I won't write it most of the time due not wanting to offend anyone who has. So I'll mostly do ones i'm experienced with.

Please do specify what you want in request, so it can be easier for me to understand^^ Detailed requests will genuinely help me write it more easily!(ex, scenario, prompt, personality, character, etc)

I won't do asks/requests with a certain culture since i wanna avoid offending people.

I will not write pregnancy. I'm not comfortable with it.

Absolutely no incest, rape, abuse, etc.

My blog will be mainly focused on wlw, nblw, mlm, nblm content. Tho, i prefer to write for female characters, i still write for male ones, but I'll just prioritize female characters more.

The max characters I'll do in one request is between 4-5 characters depending on my mood!

Also be beware that my writing style might change since i'm still new at writing!

I usually use "(name)" when addressing the reader in a fic, but i will occasionally use "Y/N", to make it easier for me. (Sometimes even "S/O". It depends on the type of fic)

I switch between mobile and pc/laptop, so i apologize if it looks a bit messy!

Inbox is always open unless said otherwise, but that will most likely not happen unless i quitted. It could be about my own life(nothing too personal tho) or yk anything else

[galkyrie]

don’t know if this counts as an au but hcs for every time we touch?

Ooh okay, let's just do ideas for Situations I could put those guys in:

1. Jay gets dosed with Ivy's pollen and has the unfortunate fate of Tim being the one to rescue him. He has to explain that Tim's the worst possible option for this specific circumstance to the man while holding himself back with every ounce of strength he still possesses while he still has it.

2. Tim meeting an alternate universe version of himself who is like "You're in your twenties and haven't hit that yet? Could never be me (judgmental)" I'm imagining this version is Stray/Catlad

3. Ooh maybe said AU Tim sneaks away to find the Red Hood and let him know what he's missing out on and Jason's like "this isn't my Tim" because the overt flirtation is so out of their norm

4. Tim rescuing Jason from a lapful of amorous Stray!Tim and being a very embarrassed and blushy mess even as he scolds other Tim for being so rude. Maybe Jason gets to watch two Tims fight and has some feelings about it before he breaks it up, who knows

Tim tracking them down and literally yanking Catlad off of Jason by the scruff would be so funny

5. Steph goading Tim into taking a single fucking night off to go clubbing with her and Jason comes over for intel on a case while they're getting ready. He jokes that Tim's shorts seem awfully short for someone who's probably gonna spend the night protecting Steph's drink, and spends the rest of the night unable to focus on anything but the smirk Tim gives him as he says he knows how to dance, thank you very much.

[pxgeturner]

Oh my god okay….Idk if you find this Ledger!Joker x reader (?) fic request stupid or too complicated but imagine ‼️ they two have been in this secret relationship for a while but like the reader has enough of his dangerous lifestyle and this quite toxic relationship in general. They are worried sick about him and ofc themselves as they can get in a lot of trouble bc of him and sometimes when joker can’t really control his emotions or his tendencies they are afraid of him too. I feel like joker is also very possessive person and wouldn’t let reader go outside or meet central people or anyone at this point. So they have enough of his bs and want to leave maybe even escape from him 🫣 idkkkk I just think this would be an interesting angsty story sorry if I’m asking too much

not very complicated !! i loved writing this and it’s the first angsty thing I've posted on here! i would like to put a warning, like super dark content ahead. joker is very neglectful and physically abusive in this. (the abuse is brief tho.) i want to mention that this is not a depiction of my joker as he is a better man for me. if u want me to redo this in a way that if less possibly triggering please let me know! word count: 1.5k

Laying in bed, you hear the door open and shut with joker’s arrival. He doesn’t bother being quiet, not caring whether he wakes you or not. he clatters about, simultaneously trying to staple his wound and make a sandwich. when things were better you would’ve stayed up for him. When j stumbled through the door you would’ve helped him get comfortable. Once he was situated you’d go reheat the meal you made for the two of you as he tended to himself. After he was all patched up you would sleep cuddled to your j.

now you only cook for yourself. you sleep in separate rooms. and you don’t stay up for him out of love. you let out a humorless, breathless laugh at how it used to be. how naive you were to truly believe the things he would say. that he’d make you his queen, that you are his number one. maybe that used to be true, but it was probably always a delusion.

because now the only time he acts like he still cares are those few times he decides he wants to sample your body. And you always give into him, of course you want to forget reality for half an hour or so. he lures you in with gentle touches and words that flow and taste like honey. typically he just uses you for stress relief. but a couple of times it seemed like he genuinely missed you, wanted to show you he’s sorry. either way it ends with him on the other side of the bed with his back to you, snoring. not you, though. you can’t sleep with him next to you anymore, it just reminds you that he’s not yours anymore.

but you’re still his.

ever since he’s started to “put things back on track” he’s on guard twenty-four-seven.

No longer does he melt in for embrace or allow himself to simply be the man who loves you when you’re alone. j doesn’t exist anymore. there is only the joker.

…

you’re still yawning as you exit your room and make your way to the kitchen. no one else is up yet, and someone has to mop up the blood. if joker were to come out of his room to the mess, someone’s head would roll. your thoughts travel to the man snoring in his suit and old makeup down the hall. how would he react if he saw you cleaning right now? he wouldn’t look twice and walk away. before he would have you drop the mop and make one of his men do it. Just as you finish you hear a snarl.

“DOLL!” you rush into his room, frantically looking for a reason he would call out like that.

“why aren’t you in bed? baby it’s so early…” he’s so tired he doesn’t even make his clown voice. Your heart warms a bit at the tenure of his husky voice. “c’mere, babydoll,” you crawl into bed with him and dream of possibilities.

…

“Why don’t you take a break, joker?” you suggest from the kitchen. He straightens and looks away from the map of gotham, stalking a few steps towards you.

“Why would you make such a suggestion, doll?” the word is spat with so much venom you want badly to recoil, but you don’t.

instead you put the zucchini you just washed onto the cutting board and grab the knife to start chopping. “you don’t need to do everything right away is all.”

“i don’t.” he pulls out his favorite pocket knife and rests the blade against his cheek. “i don’t need to put things how they should be. i don’t need to finish what i’ve started.”

“that’s not what i said, joker.”

“THIS IS THE ONLY REASON I GOT OUT OF ARKHAM FOR. and you’d rather me what? Play house with you?” ouch. finally admitting to never missing you. the weapon flies out of his hand and it sinks into the wood of the board, inches from your hand. you cross your arms, leaning on the island, knife still in hand.

“i just think you should pace yourself, joker.”

he jumps onto the countertop and grabs at your jaw. “you shouldn’t think anything about this, sweet pea.”

“because i’m just your doll,” you say passively.

looking satisfied, he hums in agreement and slinks back to the table of minions.

“not a doll as in someone precious you want to care for, but rather something you want to own and lock away. Not even to look at, just to have.” you’ve started chopping the vegetables, “do you remember my birthday? for a guy that has a perfect memory, you do really badly when it comes to me. you know you used to be really good at things like that; i know you remember.” you move on to another squash. “ but last year you didn’t even call when you were in arkham, and i know you could’ve. my birthday was two weeks ago, do you realize that? you didn’t even look at me the whole day. i can’t even say i got a smile or kiss as a present.”

he’s trying so hard to ignore you.

“i don’t think you ever really loved me, joker.” that was the last straw.

swiftly, he’s on the other side of the island. he punches you in the face. the knife leaves your hand and you feel the impact of the ground along with a sharp pain, somewhere. he’s never hit you, sure he’s screamed, but never hurt you physically. this is something else, he really is strong.

maybe this will be the thing that kills me, You think. then he wouldn’t be bothered by me and i won't have to worry anymore.

…

you wake up, eyes heavy.

“hello, sweetheart,” you flinch at the gentle voice that greets you. the room you’re in is unfamiliar, blue walls, a tv, pictures of landscapes hung on the walls. you turn your head to see a wall of windows letting in the silver light of the overcast sky. as you stare outside you begin to register a steady beeping. examining your body, you’re hooked to an iv and monitors.

“you must be hungry, you’ve been asleep for a while.” you finally look at the nurse. “food will be here soon.” she comes over to the other side with the windows to check your vitals. “how do you feel, any pain?” you just wanted to go back to sleep, but you didn’t say that.

you didn’t say anything. you couldn’t feel anything. you were all but detached from your body. a hollow shell. you don’t even know why you’re there.

a doctor comes in, with food. “hello there, do you might if we talk while you eat?” you manage a shrug. the tray is placed on a levitating table attached to the gurney. you don’t move, staring at the man. his smile feels mocking, how does he know what you went through with j? what right does he have to pity you?

he tells you that there’s “no extensive damage” and that you should be healed in a couple of weeks. all there is, are a few small cuts and a bruised nerve. so there is a legit reason to me feeling numb. a superficial cut on your leg needed some stitches. you hit your head and might have a concussion, so he checks your eyes and lets you now they’ll keep you for observation. after that he left you to the nurse, switching the lights off as he exited.

all this time you’ve stayed silent.

“how did i get here?” the words are foreign in your mouth.

she looks worried and sends a page “a man brought you, told me you slipped while cooking.” you prepping to roast some vegetables, joker getting upset, and him pouncing on you rushes to your mind.

“right” you pick at your fingers a bit, “was making a roast, water or oil must’ve gotten on the floor. but then again i’m a klutz.”

she comes up to your side, holding your right hand and pets your hair. you flinch forward and hiss at the contact, moving your hand to cover the top-right area of your head. you lower the hand, not knowing what to say. you know that they thought the injuries to the left side of your face were because of the fall. but you couldn’t explain without admitting to what happened.

her face turns sympathetic.

“the… gentleman that brought you left saying that ‘that bitch better not try to come back.’ did he…?”

“no, no. that was definitely one of his friends.”

“do you need help?” an underlying message was there: are you in danger?

“i’ll be fine, i have some friends to stay with.” she nodded.

i escaped, and didn’t even try. he just let me go. i’m free.