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havethetimeofyourstyles · 4 years ago

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in which harry is the right person at the wrong time.

a/n: hi lovelies! here is my christmas fic for @goldenbluesuit ‘s xmas challenge! i chose the song ‘baby, it’s cold outside’ and it’s my FAVORITE xmas song, so i’ve included bits and pieces of the song throughout the story! hope you all like it, and happy holidays! pls rb and send feedback bc they’re very helpful :)

WORD COUNT: 9.6k of ex lovers to lovers, teacher!harry x lawstudent!yn filled with slight angst, missing someone dearly, and fluff

WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol consumption

COME INTO MY INBOX AND LETS TALK ABOUT ‘BABY, IT’S COLD OUTSIDE’ i’d love to know your thoughts!

pls rb to share! <3

17 December 2020

A chilly and snowy night was upon you as you took a shot of hard liquor. The face of disgust appeared on your face as the liquid slowly went down your throat after you hammered the shot of tequila.

Normally, you wouldn’t pregame when you were going to your friend, Addie’s, house where you would drink some more, but you needed to shake off your nerves that you felt at the moment. You took a deep breath after taking your second shot and you had physically felt yourself starting to relax.

Rolling your head to stretch your neck out, you decided it was time to leave since it was nearing seven in the evening. You called yourself an Uber because of the alcohol in your system and you were planning to sleep over Addie’s place since she said she would bring you back in the morning before you had to go to work.

You waited for your Uber by the front door while you looked in the mirror, putting your black beanie onto your head. You were bundled up in a black university sweater, a camel color coat over, along with tan lounge pants and a pair of black boots. Once you got a notification that your Uber driver, Jason, was in front of your house, you grabbed your overnight bag and headed out the door.

You placed the hood of your sweater over your beanie so you got more warmth since it was quite cold. You were never one for the cold weather, which is unfortunate since you lived in London. You cherished the days where it was sunny and warm; the sun bright and warm as you laid on the grass in complete content.

You missed those days. You missed the days where you didn’t worry about a singular thing.

Looking out the window, on your way to your destination, you watched the snow slightly fall, hitting and building up on the ground while the pedestrians walked through the streets, bundled up in thick layers of clothing. Some people were with others, walking hand in hand or hugging each other through the cold. Even though it was freezing cold outside, there were smiles on their faces because the hold of one another was enough. They could get through the worst snowfall, but if they were in each other’s arms, it wouldn't matter; they could get through anything.

The cold had reminded you that you were missing a pair of strong arms that should’ve been around you through this season, but you were completely frozen—left out in the cold to warm yourself up.

You sighed and the car stopped in front of Addie’s place. You thanked your driver, wishing him a ‘Happy Holidays’ before you got out and buzzed your best friend’s apartment onto the buzzer system; hearing one back, you entered the complex while brushing your shoes onto the floor mat, so you wouldn’t slip while going up the stairs.

You were grateful the building was warm, and you’re sure Addie would crank up the heat for you since you would always complain how ‘bloody cold’ it is all the time.

Once you opened the door, you were met with your entire friend group who were all lounging around in the living area. They all faced the door once you walked in, seeing who the last friend to arrive. Greetings were sent towards you, Addie and Nic got up from their spots on the couch that they’re going to lose because behind them, Elijah and Niall were getting up from their spots on the floor to steal it.

“Hey! There you are! We were all waiting for you,” Addie said, giving you a hug.

Nic went in for a hug before she pulled back and looked at you suspiciously. You looked at her confusingly, wondering why she was looking at you the way she was before she said, “Did you party before you came here?” You furrowed your brows until you remembered that she probably smelt the alcohol that you took before you left.

“Oh, uh, just took a couple of shots before I came here.” The two girls understood quite well, thankfully.

“No worries! Come join,” Addie welcomed you in. The two went back to the living area, only to see that their spots were taken, so they grabbed the two boys’ arms, yanking them out of their seats. You chuckled as you walked to Addie’s room to put all of your belongings.

Once you did that, you exited her room the same time the bathroom door opened across her room. The person in front of you was the reason why you were so anxious before you left; why you needed to relax for a bit and mentally prepare yourself before going to Addie’s place.

The person in front of you was Harry Styles.

The person who had your heart.

The person you were deeply in love with still.

The person who was your ex boyfriend.

“Hi,” he said surprisingly, smiling a bit.

“Hi, Harry,” you replied, inching towards him as he met you halfway. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders as you did the same around his waist, resting your cheek onto his chest. The hug was warm and comforting, like it always was, and you looked forward to these kinds of hugs every time you saw him. But your heart ached every single time.

Pulling away, you gave him a small smile before you two walked out of the hallway and to where your friends were. There was laughter between the two girls and guys as Niall was telling them a joke. Nic was the one who saw you and Harry first, and her laughter died down. She looked at you concerningly, giving you those eyes as if they were asking if you were okay, and you nodded your head to reassure her. You and Harry join the group; you sat on the loveseat on one side of the rectangle wooden table, while Harry sat on the floor on the other side.

You tried joining in on the conversation and laughter, but you couldn’t help but take sneaky glances back to Harry, only to find him getting glances at you as well.

It was hard to focus on anything your friends were saying when Harry was in the same room, but you realized it was also difficult when he wasn’t in the same room because then you were wondering where he was.

It wasn’t easy being friends with Harry after the breakup, good friends, especially; and it pained you to actually act normal around him when all you wanted to do was scream, cry, and have him comfort you. But you did your very best to maintain a cool, calm, and collected mood whenever you’re around him, although inside, your heart was racing and everything you said seemed incoherent.

You tried your best to avoid him after you two split, and he did as well, but being part of the same friend group just didn’t go well with your wishes. You two had to suck it up and be normal around each other.

Being with Harry was possibly the best eight months of your life. To some, it’s not the longest amount of time, but he was one of a kind; you couldn’t find anyone out there like him--not like you were looking anyways. It genuinely felt like you’ve been together for years, and when you two were celebrating your six month anniversary, your friends had questioned you saying ‘It’s only been six months?!’

Your relationship with Harry was all things blissful. It was pure happiness and love, and you wouldn’t want it with anyone else. You two rarely got into fights, and if you did, it was most likely a petty and annoyed argument that would have you two back in each other’s arms only twenty minutes after. He was your fresh breath of air that made you laugh and orgasm…multiple times.

It was all smiles and laughs until it wasn’t.

You two had gotten together the second semester of senior year. Meeting at the library because you couldn’t reach a book, it didn’t take long for you both to get together. You had known him for two weeks until he asked you out on a date where he kissed you for the first time. The dates and kisses continued on for six months until you mutually decided to call it quits.

It wasn’t an easy decision, but considering that Harry was going to a different school that was in a different country for his master’s degree in education for the fall semester, and you were also in the midst of your career; interning at a law firm didn’t quite clear up your schedule, only making you busier by the hour. There was barely any time for the two of you to spend time with each other with how busy and hectic your lives were, so there would most likely be no calls coming in or distant texts that were sent out to make it seem like the void had disappeared.

Like two mature adults, you and Harry called it quits after the summer. He moved away to get his master’s and you kept yourself busy at the law firm. It wasn’t easy--still isn’t easy, but it was for the best. The both of you needed to focus on your careers and yourself before you two were ready enough to get back together. That’s if Harry wanted to get back together anyways.

Of course you wanted to get back together with him, but you didn’t know where he stood on that, or if he was even seeing someone. Throughout the two years that he was away, you only saw him during summer and winter breaks, so he could possibly be seeing someone whenever he goes back to school. But now that he had moved back again, your mind was spiraling because now you got to see him more.

Finally, you broke out of your trance, once again thinking about Harry, you saw him looking at you. The both of you completely tuned out to the conversation and laughter coming from your friends. You held your wine glass up, Harry doing the same while smirking before you both sipped your drinks, hoping the sweet wine would relax your bodies.

Nic was picking out a small paper out of the Santa hat Addie was holding. She took a quick peek at it before, smirking to herself before Addie moved over to you for your turn. As you chose your Secret Santa, you hoped it was a good one. It’s not like you didn’t love your friends, some of them were picky, and by some, you mean Nic.

You looked at the piece of paper, smiling before shoving it into your pocket. Addie moved onto Harry who was the last one to choose, and you watched him as he looked at the paper like it was a poker hand. He raised his brows, smirking before he looked up and started to fold the paper. Your eyes looked down at his polished hands, noticing that he still wears the same rings as he did when you first met him. Your favorites were his initial, thinking how incredibly sexy and alluring they looked on him as he walked around confidently. You’ve stolen them multiple times as well, even if they were too big on you, but the thought of walking around with Harry’s name on you just seemed so enticing.

Niall’s laughter brought you out of your sensual thoughts about Harry’s hands and you realized you were caught staring, and Harry knew exactly what you were looking at with the amount of times he’s caught you staring and fantasizing about his hands. Plus, you openly told him that you had a thing for his hands.

A smug smile was seen from Harry, so you took your attention away from him and towards your friends.

“So, what do we say? $50 limit?” Nic suggested, and Elijah rolled his eyes.

“Why are you trying to make me broke? You know I have a huge family, like, 15 cousins!” Elijah debates.

Nic gasped dramatically. “I’m offended you don’t consider us family, Eli!” Elijah playfully rolls his eyes again, turning his head to the side as he smiled into his shoulder, blushing a bit.

You chuckled at their playful banter. You’re a bit surprised they hadn’t gotten together yet because ever since you met them, you could practically feel the tension between them. They were just too stubborn to admit that they liked each other.

“Okay, how about we make it maximum $30?” Harry pitched in. Your eyes had immediately averted to him, and it was like he captured you just by the sound of his voice. “We have exactly six days to get our gifts,” he added. Your friend group has always been one for procrastinating. Everyone is so busy these days that it gets harder to plan hangouts where the entire group could go, but you were all family, so if the gatherings were at three in the morning, everyone would be there.

The group agreed, telling him that was a solid number. You caught Harry’s eye and he softly smiled at you. Giving him one back, you suddenly felt nervous as he smiled, so you chugged the rest of your wine and walked to the kitchen to open a new bottle to bring to the living area.

The bottle made a loud pop sound, which earned an in sync ‘Woo!’ from the group as it was a tradition you all created whenever a new bottle of wine was being opened. Smiling to yourself, you poured yourself a glass before downing it. As you were doing so, Harry walked into the kitchen with his own glass in his hand.

“Hogging all the wine, aren’t you, Y/N?” He teased to clear the awkward and anxious tension between you two, and luckily, you stifled out a giggle.

“You know me and my wine.” You refilled his empty glass while taking a sip of yours. Once you fill it halfway, he clinked your glasses together before taking a sip. His lips meeting the sweet but bitter taste of red wine that you so wished was your lips. The way he curled his lips into his mouth and licking his lips, tasting the flavor had you daydreaming such sultry things about his lips.

You cleared your throat, breaking yourself out of your gaze. “How are you, H? How’s work?”

Harry’s cheeks warmed up at the simple nickname. “I’m doing good, yeah. Work is good. The school is great.” This was Harry’s first semester teaching, and he absolutely loved it. He loved being in the classroom setting, interacting and making sure his students understood the material. He wanted to teach elementary kids, but that would require knowing various subjects when he wanted to focus more on ninth grade English.

“I’m happy for you,” you confessed. You were happy for him, but you wanted to be happy with him. “I know you’re a great teacher, and your students must love you.” You bumped him with your hip gently.

“They’re great. A couple of them have this weird crush on me for some reason.”

“I mean how could they not.” You realized you said that out loud, and you’re fully blaming the alcohol and the few glasses of wine that you already had, leaving you with a rosy cheek tint glow. Harry didn’t say anything but smug as he continued to sip on his drink. You slipped past him to join your friends, and Harry followed. Addie gave you a knowing look, hoping to communicate with just her eyes as she saw you and Harry walk out of the kitchen together, and you simply nodded, gesturing that you were okay.

The rest of the night went by quite fun as the boys helped Addie hang up the rest of her decorations while scoffing and rolling her eyes because they weren’t cooperating. You and Nic were sitting on the floor watching and laughed, pouring yourselves more glasses of wine. Your heart skipped a few beats as you watched Harry the entire time, laughing and smiling, and sometimes looking over at you just to get a simple glance at your face to suffice his heart from the heartache of not being able to hold or kiss you.

You’ve always liked shopping alone. Shopping with Nic and Addie could be stressful, no matter how much you loved them. You would only go to the shoppes with them if you weren’t looking for anything to buy, but since you were Christmas shopping and the stores were getting busier counting down to Christmas day, you had passed on their invitation to shop with them. There was nobody bugging or nagging you, causing you to get distracted; just you, a basketful of snacks, and Christmas music playing through your headphones.

You couldn’t wait to give your Secret Santa gift because you’ve put a lot of thought into it ever since you found out who your receiver was. You’ve been doing Secret Santa with your friends since the third year of college. At first, your friends group was only you, Nic, Addie, and Niall—you’ve known Niall since you were sixteen, and you met the girls your first year of uni—until Nic met Elijah during the second semester of junior year, who was quickly accepted, and then you met Harry.

You’ve all become a close knit of friends, and each and every single one of you have met other people, but there was nothing like this group. With bonding and connecting so well, all you needed was each other, and you couldn’t be more grateful.

As you were looking at the collection of whiskey, you felt a body brush passed you, slightly bumping into you as they tried getting through the narrow aisle. You jolted forward a tad bit, making you take a step forward to let the person behind you pass through.

“So sorry,” the familiar voice said. The music playing through your headphones was not even halfway up since you still wanted to be aware of your surroundings, but you could recognize that voice anywhere.

Turning around to look at the person behind you, sure enough, it was the one and only.

“Harry?” You called out, taking out your headphones. He turned around, and once he saw you, he immediately smiled.

“H-Hi. I didn’t expect to see you,” he nervously blurted out a false statement. He knew that this was your go to store and you would always drag him there because they always had your favorite snacks in stock.

You chuckled. “Yeah, I didn’t expect to see you here either.” Unlike his statement, yours was true. When you were with him, he would always ask you why you couldn’t stop at any of the other shops because this one was on the other side of where you lived. But you simply told him that it was because you would feel like you would be cheating on this store with the others because this was your go-to place, and the employees here were just lovely.

“Shopping for yourself?” Harry asked.

You looked down at your basket. “Oh, no. For my Secret Santa. What about you? What are you doing here?”

“I, uh, I was on this side of town and,” he turned around to face the wine section before grabbing a bottle of Pinot Noir. “Just needed to get this,” he said as he held it up.

“Night in?”

“Hmm, yeah,” he nodded.

“With…someone, or?” You tried your best to not show your anxiousness when you asked him if he was having a night in with someone that’s not you.

Harry’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “No, no. Not with anyone…” Your shoulders relaxed and a small smile appeared on your face. You slightly nodded your head, containing your relief. “You look great!” He complimented. You were wearing your work attire; a black pencil skirt with a white silk, semi turtleneck long sleeve, and a black coat thrown over. You were also in nude heels, which weren’t the best to shop in, but you had forgotten to bring a change of shoes.

You blushed. “Thank you. I came here straight from work.” Harry’s brows raised. You were always one for a sense of style, so he wasn’t surprised that you would look this good going to work.

“Really? How is work going, by the way?”

“Good, actually. I’m still interning at the law firm, so I’m pretty busy. But overall it’s great! A lot of research, mock cases, and sometimes the interns get to sit and watch in the courtroom. It’s pretty thrilling,” you said excitedly. Harry smiled, missing how you would explain things so eagerly. “This is my last year interning, so hopefully I could work at the law firm I’m already interning at, and become a permanent lawyer there.”

“I’m sure they’d love to have you there. You’re great, really. They’d be stupid to let you go…” he trailed off. There was a double meaning to his words, and you were wondering if Harry thought he was dumb enough to let you go. Not wanting to dwell on his words any longer, you murmured a soft ‘Thanks’ to him and smiled. Harry nodded, mentally beating himself up over his words and how he was really the stupid one to let you go.

“I, uh, should go, or my sister will be suspicious,” you chuckled. “I hope you have a great night, Harry.” You grabbed a bottle of whiskey before walking passed him. You weren’t even done shopping, but you couldn’t be in the same room as him without thinking of the memories that had always lingered, making you nostalgic and sad because you don’t know if you would be able to make more memories with him.

Harry was left alone in the aisle as he watched you walk over to the register to pay for your items. Just when you were done, you looked up, giving him a soft smile and waving at him before you turned around and walked out of the store. Harry’s heart fluttered, but at the same time, it was pounding through his chest. He mentally cursed himself for being so nervous around you, making an awkward tension fill the air. He couldn’t tell you what you were really doing at your store--no, he couldn’t.

Because what would you say if he told you that he’s been going to your store ever since you two broke up and whenever he’s in town just because it reminded him of you. The four walls somewhat mended his broken heart as he felt comfort inside of the shop because some of his best memories of you are in this very store. And since he couldn’t step into your apartment to immediately feel at home, your favorite store would have to do…for now.

Right when you entered Addie’s home, you were met with the loud music of the holiday season, along with Addie, Nic, and Elijah singing the lyrics to one another as they jumped and danced with a glass of their preferred alcohol in their hand.

They hadn’t heard the door open since the music was quite loud, so you took the opportunity to take a quick video of them as you smiled at your lovely friends, who felt so careless at the moment. Once the song ended, you put your phone away, and Eli was the one who spotted you first.

“Ah, there she is!” He walked over to you, giving you a big hug. You giggled as he slightly picked you up from the ground and twirling you. You were sure that he was already buzzed, and you were wondering how many glasses he’s had already, or if he pregamed by himself to calm himself down for talking to Nic, just like you had done to prepare you for a night with Harry, which you hadn’t done tonight.

There was a part of you that wanted to take a shot or two to ease your nerves, but you realized that you needed to stop doing that because as far as you know, you and Harry are most likely going to be friends for a long time. So, drinking almost every week did not sound fun to you.

Nic poured you a glass of wine, clinking your glasses together as you took your first sip of alcohol that night. You helped Addie set up the food onto the table along with some Christmas designed plates and utensils. Just as you were counting the utensils, you heard a loud Santa laugh coming from Niall, making everyone turn their heads towards the door. Niall walked in, carrying a bag-full of presents and Harry followed with a three foil wrapped aluminum trays in his hands as he chuckled at Niall’s way of making himself known. Your face immediately heated up at the sight of your ex-boyfriend because he looked good.

Although you loved every version of Harry, there was something about Harry Styles in the snowy winter that made your knees weak. He was bundled up in a sweater with a coat tossed over, and he wore boots. His hair was slightly messy from the wind as he shook off the snow that had fallen onto his locks. His nose was always red too, and when he would press a kiss to your cheek, you would feel the icy cold tip of his nose, contrasting to your warm cheeks. And it’s a tragedy that you’ve never spent a winter season with him when you were together, only two Christmases after the breakup.

Winter Harry was your favorite, and all you wanted to do was snuggle up with him.

Niall and Harry made their rounds to greet everyone, and Harry would always make sure you were the last one he greeted, just so he could hold and hug you a little longer.

“Merry Christmas Eve, Eve,” you said once he got to you. He smiled and chuckled, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. You laid your head against his chest, taking in his scent and natural warmth, even though he just came from the cold. “What’d you bring?” You asked once you pulled away.

“I brought the cheesy garlic bread, brussel sprouts, and crab cakes,” he smiled.

You gasped. “Your specialty. My mouth is already watering.”’ You clapped your hands in excitement.

Harry giggled, leaning against the kitchen countertop. “Sure is, and it’s some of your favorite dishes of mine too,” he remembered. You blushed, heart fluttering as he didn’t forget your favorite foods.

Harry was always a chef of his own; he loved cooking. Learning from Anne, he made it his mission to make his own homemade food after he moved out, and she would always tell him that you could always show your love through food. From there, he learned more about cooking and seemed to love everything about it. Whenever the group has gatherings for special occasions and everyone agrees for a potluck, Harry always made sure to talk to everyone and see what they wanted him to cook.

When you two were together, he did the majority of the cooking. There would be times when you wanted to help, but he would simply tell you that you needed to let him do it and relax. That was something you loved about him—he was always a giver and didn’t expect to receive anything back, in more than one way.

You and Harry were definitely ones for staying in, and he would always whip up the best food that was filled with so much love and flavor.

“Once you two are done loving over there, we’d like some help over here!” Niall called out from the dining area. Your eyes widened as Harry’s cheeks turned pink. Harry held his arm out, gesturing you to go first, and you walked out of the kitchen as he followed behind you.

The group’s attention and eyes were on you and Harry, and your brows furrowed as you mouthed a ‘What?’ at them, and they instantly went back to setting up the food as if nothing happened. You turned around to look at Harry confusingly and he shrugged his shoulders, just as confused.

The music was playing, the decorations were lit up, and the food was settling into everyone’s stomach, followed by drinks as a warm feeling laid over everyone. It was overall a great time with them as it always was, and since Christmas was coming up in just two days, the merry feeling was always everyone’s moods.

As everyone was laughing and having a great time, Addie had gotten a knock from her neighbor, asking if everyone could keep the volume down. Everyone was holding in their laugh because you all hadn’t realized how loud you’ve gotten.

“I’m pretty sure they knew it was going to be a long night when it was just the three of them dancing and screaming,” you pointed out to Addie, Nic, and Elijah, and they all laughed, agreeing.

“Wait, what?” Niall asked confusingly.

“Right when I walked in, they were screaming at the top of their lungs. Wait, I have a video.” You pulled your phone out of the front pocket of your sweater and showed Niall the twenty second video.

He cackled. “Hey, thanks for waiting for us,” he teased, giving your phone back to you.

You leaned back onto Harry’s leg, since you were sitting on the floor and he was sitting on the chair behind you, and you looked up at him to show him the video. He leaned forward, placing his forearms on his thighs as you shifted closer to him so you were sitting in between his legs. Harry’s lips curled into his mouth, and he was grateful that you weren’t facing him because he was flustered. You pressed play, and he watched as he chuckled, watching his friends have a good time.

“Wait, I also wanted to show you this video,” you mentioned once the video was over. You scrolled through your pictures, and Harry was watching you go through your camera roll. He saw pictures of buildings, food, you and the girls, and some of them were just of you. Before he could really think about your own pictures, you found the video of your family dog and showed Harry.

As you and Harry were watching the video, your four other friends were eyeing you two and whispering things to each other suspiciously. Nic took a few pictures of the moment because the sight was just so cute, but everyone was wondering when you two were getting back together.

And you were wondering the same.

For a few minutes, you and Harry were in your own little world as you two talked about your family; never making the effort to change the position you were in--you had just turned your body so you could see him better. You’ve missed times like these where everything else, outside of the bubble you two created, didn’t seem to matter. The way his eyes gleamed when he talked to you had lulled you in, making you depart from every thought you were trying to create while the only thought that dawdled was Harry.

“Alright, let’s pass out our Secret Santa gifts before we’re all too drunk,” Niall suggested, popping yours and Harry’s bubble. You moved out of between Harry’s legs to sit beside him where you were before. You looked up at him, softly smiling and he gave you one back. His eyes looked like they wanted to say something, and you so badly wanted to crawl into his mind to know what he was thinking.

Everyone agreed, getting up to grab their gifts. Addie also grabbed the Santa hat that you had to wear if it was your turn to pass out your gift. The Santa hat had been through four Christamases with the group, and it was the little things that made you happy.

Addie decides to go first since she was the host. She put the Santa hat on before she started. “First one! My Secret Santa is…Elijah!” She walked over to him, giving him her gift as he smiled, thanking her. He opened her gift and gasped as it was a new headset for his PlayStation since he was always talking about how one side was completely dead. Addie placed the hat onto his head as he grabbed his gift.

“So, this one is for…” he smiled before walking over to the other end of the couch. “Nic.” Her eyes widened, taking the gift from his hands, and he took a seat next to her on the floor. She ripped open the wrapping paper before she paused, looking back at him. It was a large rectangle frame of pictures of her and Eli with a note in the middle saying ‘4 years as best friends, countless laughs, and one question unasked. Will you go on a date with me?’ Nic squealed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. It was like he was proposing to her because she screamed out a loud yes. “Life is too damn short. I can’t wait to go another day without calling you my girl, so I wanted to take my chances,” he told her. You smiled at them, realizing it’s been too long, and you were so happy for them.

It was Nic’s turn, which she completely forgot about because she was so overjoyed, and she walked up to Harry to give him her gift. He thanked her before opening it, receiving a set of nail polish, a few face masks, a vanilla candle, and a gift card to one of his favorite restaurants.

Harry was up, and he was a bit nervous for this one. You knew that it could either be you, Niall, or Addie since you were the three left without gifts. He stood in front of the fireplace as everyone looked at him. You thought he looked absolutely adorable in that Santa hat, which you think every single year. He slowly walked over to Niall, making him beam, but turned around and walked over to you, earning a ‘Hey!’ from Niall.

“Merry Christmas Eve, Eve,” Harry greeted you, handing you your gift. You smiled brightly, grabbing the box. It was a quite heavy box with brown wrapping paper with reindeers on it and a large red bow. “I wrapped it myself,” he smirked, playfully flipping his shirt hair, and you giggled.

You ripped the paper and opened the box, eyes softening. In the box, there was a graphic tee, your —and his—favorite fresh perfume by Jo Malone, five pens with your first and last name engraved in the middle, a Cravings cookbook from Chrissy Teigen and a yellow and white vertical striped apron with the words ‘Summer Lovin’ with a sun embroidered at the top. Your eyes watered at the words at the special but emotional meaning behind it.

Two months before you and Harry broke up, you knew it was the end. You both agreed that you would spend two months together before you had to part ways with one another. It was the most special and fun summer you ever had, but emotionally, it was the worst. Knowing that you weren’t going to be together anymore by the end of it was behind the facade of the endless laughter and love. You really didn’t want it to be over, but you understood and needed to grow separately and blossom with your careers.

The words behind the embroidered apron was from one summer night. You and Harry had a bonfire at the beach, and you were cuddled up with him as he held a blanket around the both of you. You had tequila disguised like water as you held your bottle up to the best summer loving. You wished the circumstances were different, but if it’s meant to be, then he’ll come back to you.

“You’ve always wanted to learn how to cook and I’ve seen that you’re starting to on your Instagram stories, so I thought these were the perfect things to get you so you could be a proper chef now,” he said with a soft smile.

Harry truly paid attention to the small details of your life. Together or not, he intently listened and observed without anyone knowing. He nailed it down to the small details; from the perfume, the pens, and the apron. The sentiment behind it was what made the gift so special, and the person who gifted it to you completed and made it so much better.

As your vision had gone glassy, you sat on your knees, reaching up at Harry for a hug. He bent down to your eye level, sitting on his knees as well as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. You held him tightly, sniffling into his shoulder as a rush of overwhelming emotions hit you. Your heart fluttered and pounded at the same time—a feeling that was familiar to your body when it came to Harry.

“Thank you so much. This is the most thoughtful gift ever,” you said into his shoulder. This gift was number two on the list of gifts you’ve received from him, following Harry himself as your number one, of course.

Harry pulled his head back slightly to press a kiss to the side of your head. The gesture had made your heart swoon and you smiled against his shoulder. Everyone was watching you two interact, and they all thought this was finally the moment where you two would get back together again. They’ve all seen you two suffer enough being without each other, along with the heavy tension that there was. All they wanted was for you both to be happy.

You pulled away from him, looking up at his green eyes as they stared into you. He offered you a small smile that took your breath away before he wrapped one arm around your shoulder, bringing you into his side as he wasn’t quite done holding you.

After a few minutes, your friends had let you have your moment before Niall complained how he didn’t have a gift yet. You and Harry chuckled, letting go of one another, and he placed the Santa hat onto your head before you slowly started walking over to Niall. When you handed him his gift, he cheered happily before opening it. You had given him several customized guitar pics with his initials printed onto them, a leather notebook since he liked to write songs, and Proper 12 Irish Whiskey, which was fitting because he’s Irish and he likes Connor McGregor. He thanked you with a big hug, picking you up off the ground with one arm as he held the alcohol bottle in the other.

Addie was the last one who hadn’t received a gift, and Niall was her Secret Santa. He gave her a bunch of makeup with your help, and a tupperware set, which she had been asking for since everyone always took her containers because she liked hosting so many parties.

The rest of the night had gone on for a few more hours before everyone was pretty tired, deciding to call it a night. Everyone helped clean up, making sure to help Addie with the dishes and putting or throwing stuff away. Although you were cleaning, you loved your entire group. This was your family--the closest people to you. The ones who know everything about you and would laugh at you when you fall before falling with you. You were entirely grateful for everyone in this room, and you couldn’t have asked for a better group to spend more holidays and days with.

After the cleaning was done, Niall and Eli started to head out, not before Eli was satisfied with the amount of goodbyes he gave Nic with how long the hug was. Niall had to physically pull him off, telling him the Uber was outside.

You were washing your hands before Harry walked over next to you, handing you a towel to dry off your hands. “Thank you,” you muttered, shyly smiling.

“Uh, I wanted to ask if you wanted to come over?” He proposed. Your brows raised at his question. You and the girls had planned on having a sleepover after, but the prospect of going home with Harry had sounded much better (no offense to your friends).

“I was planning to sleepover here…” you decided to innocently tease, even though you knew you were going to say yes.

“I already asked them, and they said I could take you. I could drop you back off here if you want. So, the answer is up to you,” he smirked. A blush appeared onto your cheeks, admiring the fact that he asked your friends for permission if he could take you home.

“There’s bound to be talk tomorrow,” you teased, lightly nudging him.

“I’ll take my chances,” he smiled, a hopeful look presented on his face.

You breathed out a chuckle, looking at him for a moment before you nodded. “Yeah. Let’s go.” Harry’s eyes widened as the corners of his lips turned up. You grabbed your phone and your coat before walking over to Addie and Nic who were both cuddled up on the couch, saying goodbye to them. They sent you a playful wink, and you rolled your eyes as nerves startled to settle in your stomach.

You followed Harry out of the door, the cold air brisking past you as you walked to his car. He opened the passenger and you thanked him before getting in. Harry started the car and the song that was playing was ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside.’ It was a song you loved ever since you were a little girl, and you remembered the times you and your mom would always sing it in the car. You smiled at the memory, humming as you hoped it would be a way to distract you from the anxious feeling that you have.

You started humming to the tune as quietly as you possibly could, but Harry heard it as he started to hum it as well. You looked at him through your peripheral vision, noticing that he started to tap his fingers against the steering wheel.

You were about to start singing until you noticed that he pulled into his driveway, so you contained yourself and closed your coat, getting out of the car as you followed him into his home. You’ve only been inside his home three times--those three times being when he would suggest everyone hang out there. It was a lovely place and whenever you were sitting on his couch, you had wished you shared the space with him.

Harry lit up the fireplace, placing the metal shield in front of it before turning back towards you and smiling. “Make yourself comfortable. I’m just going to get us some hot chocolate, if that’s alright?” He asked, wanting to know your preferred drink.

“Sound good.” You hung your coat onto the coat rack before walking over to his turquoise velvet couch and taking a seat, getting comfortable to an extent, not knowing how comfortable you should get.

Not long after, Harry came back with a wooden tray, and he placed it on the coffee table in front of you. There were two mugs filled with milk, two hot chocolate kits, and spoons.

“I made these for my students, and I just so happened to have two extra kits, so this will be fun,” he smiled, and you gave him one back appreciatively. You thought that it was cute and sweet of him to give something to his students for the holiday season. Normally, teachers don’t give them anything, but Harry wasn’t just any other teacher.

A somewhat comfortable silence fell over you two as you both made your own hot chocolate, and you listened to the fireplace roar. Once you two were done, you clicked your glasses together before taking a sip. The warm and comforting drink made you smile and was overall delicious.

Harry didn’t know what to say or how to say what he really wanted to say. It felt like he had non stop thoughts running through his head, but when he opened his mouth to start, there was a delay. An overwhelming feeling took over him and he wanted to yell at himself for not saying how he really felt.

“Y/N-”

“Harry.”

Just like before, your minds had been in sync, causing you both to speak at the same time. A light laugh came out of both of your mouths.

“You go first,” you told him.

Harry took a deep breath. “How’re you doing?” He asked. Out of everything he could have said, that was the only question that came out of his mouth, but he figured it’s a good start to getting somewhere.

“Truthfully?” He nodded. “I’m doing okay. I’ve managed to distract myself from worrying about the future with work, and so far, it’s been helping.”

“What are you worried about?” Harry wondered curiously. He could feel his heart pounding through his chest, and if he’s being honest, it’s been that way the first time he saw you…ever.

“Worried if I’m gonna be where I want to be career wise, and…” you trailed off.

“And what?” He encouraged you to continue. His stare was so intimidating and deep that the words flew off your tongue, making them unforgettable. “Ba--Y/N?” He called out for you, noticing how he almost slipped up and called you ‘baby,’ and you so wished he hadn’t stopped himself.

You finally mustered up the courage to speak your thoughts. “I’m afraid that I’m gonna be alone,” you said honestly.

Harry’s brows furrowed, shaking his head instantly. “You’re not alone, no. You have your family, all of us--your friends, me-”

“You?” Your brows raised.

“Yeah-”

“Harry, you’re the reason why I’m so worried…” you confessed. You were starting to get frustrated--not at Harry, but at yourself because you had planned to have this conversation a different day. You tried to calm yourself down, and Harry could practically see that you were getting angry at yourself. You had a certain stressful and frustrated look that he would notice when you started to beat yourself up over things. And throughout the months of being with you, especially when you were in the midst of law school, he learned how to calm you down.

Harry placed his hand on your knee; the touch being unexpected to you, but it had brought you immediate comfort. He pulled you into his side and you rested your head on his shoulder, looping your arm under his, the one that’s on your leg, and hugged his arm. Harry’s other hand touched your arm, caressing and soothing you. His actions had felt very natural and familiar to him. He would comfort you like this when you were feeling stressed. Normally, he wanted to cuddle you tightly, but this was your preferred way to calm down because in a way, he was still holding you, and you were still in control and didn’t feel like you were suffocating if he had held you tightly.

You stayed like that for a few moments, and you had calmed down a bit already, but you just wanted to be close to him and cherish the moment.

After a few minutes, you pulled away and turned towards him, smiling softly. Your heart warmed at the fact that he remembered exactly what to do when you started to feel anxious, and you may have fallen in love with him even more…after all these years.

“Now, wanna tell me why you’re so worried?” He asked softly, not wanting his tone to be pressuring, and you’re grateful for it.

“I’m worried I’m going to have to live a life without you. It terrifies me to think about you going out and meeting someone, and I would have to watch you get married to someone else that’s not me. That you would be sharing this home with someone that’s not me.” Your eyes start to water, and you had mentally told yourself that you wouldn’t cry, but you didn’t believe yourself in the slightest. “Watching you love someone else is going to be the most difficult thing I would have to do.”

Your tears had fully fallen down your face, which is unfortunate because you both had such a good day with your friends and it was nearly Christmas. Quickly wiping your tears away, you got up from the couch, and headed towards the door. Harry was confused until he saw you grab your coat, putting it on. In a flash, Harry got up from the couch, walking towards you.

“W-What are you doing?” He asked.

“I really can’t stay…” you told him sadly. You had no idea how you were getting home or back to Addie’s since it’s snowing, so you don’t know if there were any Ubers out, especially at this time. “This evening has been…so very nice, Harry.”

“You don’t have to leave. Baby, it’s cold outside, c’mon,” he pleaded with worried eyes. Your heart melted at his words and the name that he used to call you, making you pause in your movement.

“Please,” he pleaded softly, taking a small step forward, and your breath hitched in your throat as you looked up at him. There was a dead silence between you two that was tension filled, and you had no clue what was going to happen next until he opened his mouth.

“Mind if I move in closer?” He whispered. The sound would barely be audible if anyone else was there, so he said those words specifically for you to hear.

You shook your head, and he took another step forward. Your bodies were a centimeter away from being pressed up against one another, and your heart was beating so fast, making your hands shake and tremble. He looked down at you so intently that you were under his spell, and you were conflicted as you wish you knew how to break the spell as his green eyes looked deep into you, luring you in even more.

You took a deep breath. “Kiss me already,” you breathed out. Harry’s heart nearly stopped at your words, but he slightly smirked as he blushed, brushing your hair behind your ears before taking your face into your hands and leaning down to place a deep and passionate kiss onto your lips.

This feeling, this touch, this man was what you’ve been waiting for these past two years. Throughout those years, you felt like giving up; accepting the fact that he wasn’t going to love you again. But he had proved you wrong in the simple brush of his lips and tongue that were in sync with yours, making the spark between you grow bigger and bigger. The spark that had never lost its power, but was on pause.

You grabbed a fistful of his shirt, pulling him closer as the other hand was wrapped around his back. Harry had you pushed up against his front door, and you had the urge to lift your leg up to wrap it around him, but you resisted.

Harry wanted more, too. His hands trailed down from your face to your back, closing the nonexistent proximity between you, and guided you back to the couch. You were walking backwards, completely trusting him that he wouldn’t let you fall as his lips never left yours.

You giggled once the back of your legs hit the couch, falling onto the soft material as Harry hovered over you, laying in between your legs. He looked at you for a moment, studying every freckle, the crimson color on your cheeks, the curve when you smile, your glimmering eyes, and your cute nose. He knew that it was exactly how he remembered. After a couple of years being separated, a beautiful face like yours was hard to forget.

“You’re quite crazy to think I’d want to live the rest of my life with someone else when you’re right in front of me,” he suddenly said. Your eyes widened at his confession. “Never wanna be without you ever again. Thought you didn’t want to be with me when I came back, so I just didn’t bother. But you have no idea how much I missed you. I missed you so much.”

He placed soft kisses all around your face as he spoke, leaving you feeling so tender and soft as he was so gentle with you. For someone who’s on her way to becoming a lawyer and always having to have an answer for everything, you were speechless. The words that you’ve been waiting for for so long were music to your ears. It rolled off his tongue so smoothly, slick like honey, and you connected your lips with his again, swirling your tongue against his as you devoured his words. Hands finding their way to his hair, you gripped on his locks and pulled just the way he liked it, earning a groan from him, and you smirked against his mouth.

You pulled back, leaving him breathless. Swollen lips, blushed cheeks, and smiles plastered on his face, you said the words you’ve been itching to say. “I love you,” you blurted out. The words had rolled off your tongue so effortlessly, making shivers run down Harry’s spine as his eyes watered up. “I was listening to Elijah earlier, and he’s right. Life’s too fucking short to not have what you want.”

He took one of your hands into his, bringing it up to his lips before placing a kiss onto the back of your hand. Your other hand was playing with the curls that laid delicately on his hands, scratching it lightly.

“Missed hearing you say those words.” He smiled, tears making their way down his face. “I love you too. So, so much that you have no idea how I feel when you walk into the room and I see your beautiful face. I love you. I love you. I love you, baby.” His affirmations had caused you to softly sob—the two of you a crying mess from the obvious but unspoken love that was finally being released again. “It’s always been you. You’ve always been my girl, did you know that?” You tilted your head a bit. “Never gonna go a day without reminding you that you are, because you’ve never not been my girl. Had to love and admire you from afar, but just wanted to hold you and kiss you.”

“You can kiss and hold me all you want now, my love,” you reassured him, and he dug his face into your neck, placing a soft kiss against your skin.

You smiled so brightly as your heart felt so happy and overflowed with love, and he matched your grin, feeling the same way.

The two of you kissed each other for a bit more, whispering sweet words, and laughed and talked about anything and everything—truly catching up with one another.

“Oh.” He got off of you, making you slightly pout from the weight of laying on you that you already missed. “I actually got you another gift.”

“Harry…you already got me enough.” It was true. Along with the thoughtful gift, he was your true Christmas miracle.

“I know. But this one, I wanted to give to you in private, and this is the perfect moment, so let me do this?” He looked at you with sweet and pleading eyes with a small smile on his face. Who could ever say no to that adorable face? Certainly not you.

You nodded, and he shot up, heading towards the stairs. “Give me thirty seconds,” he said before rushing up the stairs.

You heard him shuffling up there, and the sound of a drawer opening and closing. Thirty seconds later, he was walking downstairs, holding a white box wrapped in a red bow. He sat back down next to you, looking into your eyes as he spoke.

“This is what I wanted to give you when we were alone. It didn’t matter the outcome of how things turned out between us tonight, I just wanted to give you this because I think you’ll appreciate it. It reminded me of you when I saw it, and I knew I had to get it.” He handed you the box with slightly shaky hands.

You untied the bow, taking the top off. A gasp came from your mouth as you picked up the chain. It was a little gold sun pendant, symbolizing your summer together. You studied the charm for a moment, delicately touching it as you teared up at the meaning behind it. It matched quite well with your embroidered apron, and the two together would be quite the match.

“Thank you, Harry. This is so sweet of you.” You leaned forward, giving him a hasty kiss to his lips, smiling against them. “Help me put it on?” He nodded eagerly. You handed him the necklace before turning around, lifting your hair. You felt the cool metal chain hit your skin along with Harry’s lingering touches across your shoulders, causing your skin to pebble. He placed a quick kiss to your neck before pulling away. You turned around to meet his eyes as you smiled.

“Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.” He kissed your forehead. “I’m so happy. Merry Christmas Eve, Eve, baby.”

“Merry Christmas Eve, Eve, my love.”

You cuddled into his side as the silence took over. The only thing was heard was the pounding of your love-filled hearts along with the cracking of the fire. Sure, it was cold outside, but right here in Harry’s arms, you were warmer than ever.

please come into my inbox and talk about your thoughts and feelings on this! also feedback is appreciated, thank you for reading! <3

#GBSxmaschallenge #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #boyfriend!harry #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles imagine #harry styles dirty one shot #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x yn #harry styles au #harry #harry styles

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bnhatrashsammy · 4 years ago

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You Think They’re Gonna Hit You

Includes: Izuku, Bakugou, Todoroki and my lovely Mina baby!

Warnings: ANGST but with a happy ending bc im baby, nothing too detailed though. Gender neutral reader <3

Mentions of abuse and cursing ofc (its me i always curse so like-)

_____________________________________________________

You had been in an abusive situation/relationship prior to your current relationship. You had yet to tell your partner.

You two were simply playing around, something very common in your relationship.

You were in his dorm, both of you going back and forth between tickling each other.

Your eyes were closed as you blindly search for his sides, your breath coming out in shrieks and gasps between you laughing so hard.

One you feel your lovely boo move so they’re hovering above you, rather than beside you and tickling the shit out of you, you open your eyes as you try to catch your breath.

However, once you see their position your breath gets caught in your throat, and your entire body freezes up.

They weren’t even in a very threatening pose, their face held a bright and playful grin. Yet, all you could focus on was the hand positioned like it was going to slap you.

It was practically coming for you in slow motion, you thought for sure your lovely partner was getting ready to slap you.

Without even thinking, you automatically flinch, hands coming up to protect your face, your body trembling in fear.

Izuku Midoriya

Izuku’s face changes from playful to concern very quickly, not that you can see from your tightly closed eyes and arms covering your face.

“Baby?” Izuku says softly, leaning back so he’s sitting cross-legged in front of your form. “(Y/N), baby, look at me please.” The utter concern and fear in his voice had you peaking your eyes open, looking between your fingers at the teary-eyed look he’s giving you.

Your body reacts before your mind really catches up to what the fuck just happened, and you sit up, crossing your legs as well and fiddle with your hands in your lap, looking anywhere but at Izuku’s gaze.

‘He’s gonna be so mad- he’s gonna yell and scream- I shouldn’t have reacted- if only I had just-’ Before you can even finish your rambling, terrifying thoughts, Izuku speaks up.

“D-did you think I was gonna hit you?” His voice comes out slowly and softly, but there’s not a hint of judgment. Only concern.

You slowly meet his gaze, continuing to fiddle with your hands. “N-not really you- It’s just what I’m used to so I just assumed-” You hurriedly try to explain before he speaks up again.

“Baby, you’re used to? How could you be used to- who did it? I’ll kill them, I swear!” Izuku leans forward slowly, as to not startle you anymore before pulling you to him, hugging you comfortingly, protectively.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, (Y/N). I promise. If I had known I wouldn't have done it. I'm so sorry baby.” Izuku reassures you genuinely.

Izuku continues reassuring you, comforting you and caring for you softly as you tell him about your past. Obviously you couldn’t spill everything out all at once, there would be more of these conversations in the future. But it was honestly nice. To just be able to get it out in the open, to have him comfort you.

“I will never hurt you, (Y/N). Let me be your hero.” Izuku says after you had cried out all your tears and fell asleep on him. He places a gentle kiss on your forehead, before laying down with you and falling asleep himself.

Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou freezes as the genuine fear he can clearly see on your trembling form. He’s quick to sit against his wall on the bed, pulling you into his lap as he comfortingly pets your hair.

You bury your head in the crook of his neck, a flurry of painful memories causing tears to build up in your tightly closed eyes as you grip onto Bakugou as if your life absolutely depended on it.

“I-i’m sorry- I didn’t mean too-” You try apologizing, but he’s quick to shush you, his voice gruff but gentle in his own Bakugou way.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, dumbass. Jus’ breathe.” Of course, Bakugou doesn’t blame you, but he also feels you thought he was going to hit you simply because of how angry he can be, he didn’t know of your past of abuse.

“I know i'm always angry and shit, but- fuck-,” His voice breaks, and he holds you the slightest bit tighter, more protectively. “I’d n-never hit you, (Y/N).” He tries to keep his voice steady but it breaks again as tears well up in his eyes. “I love you so much, I’d never do anything to hurt you, okay, baby? I swear it- fuck.”

You continue to grip onto him desperately, opening your mouth to speak even though you know your voice is gonna be hoarse from your crying, “I k-know you would’t- it just made me think about when it did happen and I-I just reacted. I k-know you’d never, Katsu- I’m s-”

“No. Don’t be sorry. Just talk to me. Please?” He says sternly, but giving you the option object, to just stay within his arms protectively.

So you tell him some of the things you had to endure. He drops the name ‘dumbass’, giving you soft nicknames and encouragement to continue when you started crying too much to continue talking.

Aside from his encouragements, and hushing of your apologies, he just let’s you speak what's on your mind. It’s freeing, and honestly you feel a lot better when it’s over.

“Thank you, Katsu. I love you. So very much.” You whisper tiredly as you finish your hours long conversation. Bakugou shakes his head as he continues rocking you comfortingly.

“I'm here for you through whatever, babe. And I plan to keep it that fuckin’ way.” He says, the determination in his voice caused a small smile on your face.

You eventually fall asleep, Bakugou humming gently as he continues rocking you comfortingly. Honestly, you couldn’t be happier in that moment, with the love of your life caring for you with no restraints.

Todoroki Shoto

Todoroki’s face instantly drops as he watches your reaction. He knows that reaction. He’s had that reaction too many times to count.

He lays beside you, cuddling into your side, rubbing circles over your sides in a comforting manor as your breathing eventually returns to normal.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N).” His voice sounds so remorseful, so genuinely hurt.

“It's not you- It’s just muscle memory- I know you’d never actually do anything to hurt me Sho.” Your voice comes out quickly, you turn over to hide into his chest as he rests his head against yours. He moves his hand so it’s rubbing your back soothingly.

“Talk to me?” Todoroki asks, and it makes your heart swell. He’s not the most emotional person, you loved him regardless of that fact obviously, but the fact that he’s offering to listen without you bringing it up first makes you a bit happier.

So you talk, telling him about different situations throughout your life that inevitably lead to the muscle memory reaction. Todoroki didn’t talk, preferring to just listen. He’d switch between rubbing your back, or running his hands through your hair, occasionally kissing along your hairline or kissing your cheeks softly as you vented.

Once you finish talking, genuinely too mentally and physically exhausted to continue, Todoroki speaks up.

“None of that was your fault. Those people- they were at fault. You had never done anything wrong, (Y/N). Thank you for telling me. Thank you for trusting me enough to talk about this. You’re so strong and brave. I'm so proud to call you mine. I love you, (Y/N). Thank you for allowing me to help.” He ends his mini speech by placing a gentle kiss on your lips.

You smile at him tiredly, before pulling the blanket from the end of the bed bed and covering you both with it. You snuggle into his chest, leaning your head up to place a kiss on his jaw, before allowing sleep to take you.

Mina Ashido

Mina pauses at your reaction, confusion taking over her features before the realization slowly comes to her.

“Babycakes, no, i’d never-” She says quickly, jumping to straddle your lap, wrapping her arms around you reassuringly as your thoughts turn dark.

“It’s okay, cupcake, I’m here for you, jus breath, I've got you.” She reassures as your wrap your arms around her, cries slowly leaving your throat while she nuzzles the crook of your neck.

Before you can even open your mouth in an attempt to apologize she starts talking, “Don't you dare apologize. It’s not your fault, love.”

You can’t help the chuckle that interrupts your sobs, she knows you through and through.

“You want to talk about it, babycakes? I’ll listen. Let me be here for you please,” She pleads, just wanting to calm your painful sobs, just wanting to put a smile back on your perfect face. Her own eyes start to tear up, and she sniffles quietly.

You hug her a bit tighter, nodding your head. Once your tears calm down a bit, you tell her. You relay some of the events of the past that have scarred you to this day.

And with everything you say Mina continues to reassure you, kissing all over your face and hair. She continues holding you, not letting up for even a second. It means the world to you, just the fact that she’s being serious about it for you. She’s genuinely trying for you, and it makes a small smile light up your face as you finish retelling your past.

“There’s that gorgeous smile I love to see!” She says, a bright grin lighting up her face which just causes you to smile more.

“What would I do without you, Mina.” You say lovingly, as she wipes your eyes for hopefully the last time of the night.

Her smile turns loving as she gives you a small, gentle kiss.

“Let’s not find out, babycakes. You’re just gonna have to be stuck with me.”

Well, you couldn’t complain with her on that note.

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #mina x reader #mina ashido x reader #todoroki x reader #izuku x reader #deku x reader #bakugou x reader #bnha headcannons #mha imagines #bnha imagines #mina x you #bnha x you #mha x you

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bbhyeoliskooks · 4 years ago

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«❝ 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐖𝐚𝐲 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 ❞» - PT. TWO

Yeonjun was the one to break up with you, so why does he want you back now?

➸ check part one out here!

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Pairing: Yeonjun x Reader (female)

Genre: 335 cups of fluff and 3 cups of angst

Warnings: a bit suggestive maybe??? cursing, eating, cheesy cringe stuff hehe, ++ unedited so there may be a lot of mistakes !!

Song: I’ll Never Love This Way Again

(YUH OMG FINALLY I FINISHED THIS REQUEST IM SCREAMING OMG??? i’m so sorry that this took so long, i know a lot of people waited for it 😭😭 and for the anon who requested this bc there wasn’t a notif- keah accidentally deleted it 😭😭. ngl i would die for yeonjun in this. ANYWAY, i hope you enjoyyy~~ i rlly liked doing something like this and yes i have to mention the happiness it gave me at 1am when i finally finished it 😌💕)

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

As easy as it was to say compared to real life, Choi Yeonjun was a wreck. A horrible, horrible and you must’ve forget to say- horrible wreck! That is including the duration of time before and after the second time you left.

How he roused one morning to you no where in sight after a vicious night of going out was something he deeply regretted. He would do anything to go back to that day, of course. He wasn’t sure about how you were doing, but jeez did he want to see those bright glints in your eyes whenever you saw him again. To see you smiling like nothing was wrong or giggling when he finally made ticklish contact on those sensitive places or even how you’d frown before him due to his carelessness. His mind drew him back to the ungodly hour of 4am when you scolded him for the scar on his arm he didn’t seem to realize until later and the way you made sure nothing else on his body was hurt. Yeah anyone could tell that didn’t go very well considering he was a boy and you were a girl, but that wasn’t the point!

In simple terms, he missed you more than anyone he’s ever laid eyes upon and the plain truth was that. You weren’t easy to be shaken off his mind after that ordeal of getting you to himself for one, final night. It hurt him most to see the disgusted expression on your face as if you were staring straight at a pile of elephant poop on the ground, not wanting to do anything with it because it was useless and foul. He couldn’t possibly make it your fault too, which meant he shouldn’t have been surprised. Breaking your poor heart by insulting you and taking you for granted, everything was wrong with him for thinking this way!

Whether he liked it or not, his heart said differently about this matter.

Perhaps it was the way you looked that night- he could say- however, it was more than that. With your adoring, sparkling eyes that weren’t easy to miss and your stunning, contagious smile that caused ripples of happiness to fly across the room, he couldn’t blame anyone for falling in love with you. After all, he was a victim of it himself so there was no way he could’ve not in the end. All of those things were true especially, but taking in everything to account as well hanging out with you, your unique individual beauty meant nothing.

He just loved you for you. Loved? No, not loved. Loves. He still loves you for you, and he was a fool to realize it this late. He just lost the best thing in his life due to his stupidity; he knew fully well that you couldn’t ever bring yourself to talk to him face-to-face again if the two of you met again. Would you two even come to meet in the first place? That was the true question here. He and you both knew that due to your resistance and remorse for what happened last weekend that you would never permit yourself to see him. Like he said, he couldn’t blame you for that either.

And yet, why is he trying to convince himself that he’s the only one for you? Your every smile was originally because of him, but now... but now, you’d never let him hear that for one, last time. He couldn’t redo his mistakes of the past of hurting you even if he promised never to do that again. And judging this situation, destiny wouldn’t allow that to happen anyway. With all of your encounters, it seemed as if they all turned out the same way. Everything was ripped into shreds.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

“Wait, so you sLEPT WITH HIM?!” Soobin’s voice reached to a dangerous while the two of you paced around the hallways together, trying to quietly talk about last weekend until he so rudely screamed about your untrue administrations. You clasped your hand over his mouth in instinct, punching his shoulder as a warning to keep quiet or else. His body heaved with hearty chuckles while you screamed, telling him to keep his voice down so that you could truly tell him the whole story.

“Soobin! That’s not true; I wouldn’t do anything like that, ever!”

“Well, he’s your ex- and he’s hot, so why wouldn’t you sleep with him?!”

Now some of the students subtly shuffled around to eavesdrop on your conversation, and you groaned at the newfound attention. Just what were you thinking about telling him when sometimes he could contradict himself to be this loud?! It was steaming tea, yes, but no one else had to hear about it! You should’ve told him this stuff at lunch when the two of you were alone.

Swiftly pulling Soobin to the vacant hallway where thankfully no one else was walking, you made sure to keep your voice to a faint hush. You weren’t sure if he could hear you, but you couldn’t risk involving anyone else in this personal matter. Students passed by all around you in the other hallway, holding conversations and walking in groups which was a good sign you could actually speak normally since no one was paying attention anymore.

“So did you or did you not?” He mused, ruffling the top of your head. You pushed his hand away, rolling your eyes at his playfulness when the gravity of the situation needed to be comprehended instead.

“Soobin, I told you we never slept together in that sense last weekend. We were both drunk and shared the same bed! It doesn’t mean anything and we aren’t going to get back together,” you held your breath through those words as you watched the amused smile on his face turn into a pitiful, pouting lip. His adorable puppy dog eyes that were begging you not to get mad at him didn’t seem to work now, and you found yourself telling him off even if you didn’t mean to in the first place.

“You’re so stupid for thinking that, you know?! Yeonjun’s a jerk, I have no clue why I ever got with that bastard in the first place! God, if you never let us meet together then you know I would’ve been happy now. Just why did everything have to turn out this way?!”

The walls of your heart you tried so hard to buttress through your words and actions crumbled with every second you spoke, disintegrating into pure dust the moment your voice leveled to reach your anger. Your chest was trembling as you choked out the last few words, unable to say anything anymore as a lump appeared in your throat. You hated being weak in front of him the most because he’s seen you so many times like this before and he’d very clearly think of you as a crybaby.

He seemed to understand this, shooting you a gently smile as some small encouragement. It was that smile that urged you to snap out of your evil trance immediately. For saying all those rude things to him, it was contradictory since at that very moment you wanted to take everything back. The guilt ate you up in an instant once you took in his dumbfound yet soft expression, causing you to envelope him in a warm embrace as contrition. He never deserved this treatment when it wasn’t even his fault anyway.

“I... I’m sorry, Soobin. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. It’s just so hard on me now since I know I shouldn’t have done that with him last weekend. We didn’t do a lot, and yet I still want to say that I love him...? Even now I won’t allow myself to cry and be weak but,” your voice faltered as your body slightly shivered, “I can’t do it. I just can’t be strong anymore. It’s so hard.”

Soobin sighed, generously allowing you to lean on him like last time. You were so strong- you had always been so strong in front of him, and it hurt him to see that you were slowly breaking no matter how much you tried to stop it. He could see right through the so called smile you shot him this morning as soon as you saw him. He knew right then and there that something happened to you during the weekend and when he heard it was all about Yeonjun... he had to contain himself not to beat up his best friend or else the friendship he treasured dearly would crash, fall, and wouldn’t withstand.

However, the truth remained. Little by little, you were shattering due to Yeonjun’s actions and he could only watch helplessly as you flew freely to the ground. It was an understatement to say that he was starting to hate his best friend for doing this to you, but in the end he believed you. If you did it before, then you could do it again right? And you knew that Soobin was always right there for you no matter what.

Last month you gave it your all in order to move on. He truly admired that you kept running and running towards the future even if you felt that there was no end, a quality he secretly cherished of you. As a person, you were strong in your own way and Soobin was proud of you. He just didn’t know how to say it now without making the bright atmosphere droop. It was always like this whenever a problem with your relationship arose. He brought you closer to his arms.

“You’re not weak at all for crying, Y/N. I think you’ve been holding it for too long now. You’re always welcome to come to me, alright? I’ll save you from that stupid Yeonjun and make you happier than he ever has! You deserve someone much better. You and I both know this.”

He wiped your every tear which streamed against your cheek with his thumb gently, and somehow you finally smiled. Ardent, genuine, and sincere, your smile was enough to cause another one of his own towards you, a great deal of blinding happiness all around you. You were sure Soobin was waiting for this after a while, although it came out at a surprising time. You didn’t expect it either.

This was another feeling you couldn’t ever get enough of, for it reminded you of the time when Yeonjun asked you to be his... but comparing it to this wasn’t right at all.

No words were spoken between the two of you, but it really did mean a great deal of comfort to you. How could he offer up this ample amount of support towards you? You made a promise to yourself to make it up to him one day.

A few minutes later, you reluctantly pulled away from his sweet hug to check the time on your phone. You weren’t sure how long you’d been holding each other like this (and you really did enjoy it), but if you kept dawdling then you would miss every single afternoon class. Your eyes scanned through the upper numbers.

Crap. You already missed the first few minutes!

You scrambled to get yourself off him, pulling your bag over your shoulder in a haste. “Wait, I’ll tell you the details later!” You waved your hand for a flimsy goodbye, rushing to get every paper in your bags in check. It was a pathetic bye, that was for sure. You rushed out before Soobin could even mutter a bye, hoping to get there in good time so that you wouldn’t embarrass yourself in front of everyone. Oh, well. You’ll see him later.

Your footsteps faded away little by little and yet another set rippled through his ears through little clacks on the spotless floor. He wondered if you were coming back to ask him something but before he could turn around, sweet words that were due to a familiar tone made his heart stop in place.

“Please, take care of her for me.”

...

Upon hearing that voice Soobin halted in his tracks, looking back at a pair of warm, brown eyes that met his own. By the looks of it, he heard everything you said. Not to mention that it was the second time the boy eavesdropped at that.

“Soobin, please? You can date her even if it hurts but just please... if I can’t look after her, then who else’ll take her to her favorite restaurant?”

The pleas did not matter to him all the more, if he was being honest. This game was something he didn’t want to be involved in but looks like fate had its plans. It was obvious now. He hated this and although he said you deserved better, it was clear that the two of you were destined to be together.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

The door clamorously creaked as soon as you entered, making you cringe at the sudden but minimal heads that turned towards you. You shyly offered up a smile, reorganizing the books in your hands to pass off some of the attention somewhere else. Some of the people there were doing their own things and focused on talking to each other to an extent. You sighed gratefully. Thankfully you could sit alone at a spot where no one would notice you at the top of the row.

After you wondered where the rest of the students were and the professor whom you searched for in every direction, you gave up with a relieving drop of your shoulders and decided to sit down. Glancing at the time, you muttered how stupid you were under your breath for reading the clock wrong. You were fortunately five minutes earlier, but looks like you have to wait now until the lesson starts.

Getting situated in your spot was an easy thing and you toyed with your phone when you heard a shuffling of clothes sitting next to you on the right. It wasn’t such a good time to be socializing right now since you felt like crap but if you were going to make new friends, you might as well do so now. After all, college was supposed to be a good experience minus all the endless assignments and projects to prepare for your future.

You managed to steal a look at the person who sat right next to you but became paralyzed in your spot when you realized who it was, whipping your head where you wouldn’t be able to get distracted by him. That dazzling, blue hair was unmistakable. And the perfect, rosy lips were too! How could you not be tainted when he chose to sit next to you?! Seeing as the latter was impossible when you heard his deep voice murmur the words ‘good morning,’ a bead of sweat collected at your forehead. He was never this bold before after you broke up, and you pondered if he wanted to be good friends again after what happened. The audacity was unbelievable.

You couldn’t understand why he’d choose to be beside you when there were many more other open spots in the room. He must’ve been mocking you, making fun of you after how weak you looked a few days before.

The question was though, why the hell was he sitting right there?! Right next to you?! You could feel the words becoming stuck in your throat as you choked out a good morning back, too anxious to say anything or else it’d initiate a conversation between the two of you. That was the least thing you wanted to do as of now, wasting all your energy on the time spent convincing yourself he’d make up some small talk. That time however never came, and you were left politely smiling at the one and only Choi Yeonjun when you randomly found him staring at you.

The professor finally arrived, lifting off a heavy burden on your chest when you could’ve been dreading the lesson instead. You should’ve left before as to not create any conflict, but anymore absences and your future would’ve been as good as dead. Although you could look at the bright side now! Yeonjun wouldn’t be able to talk to you or else he’d miss some important things which would in turn affect his grades. You threw a grateful smile towards the center of the cavernous room, becoming a little bit relaxed even if some part of you was still freaking out he was that close to you.

The class was a blur, pointless information echoing throughout the room you didn’t care to learn since you were dozing off. Your mind was too busy looking back at the events that went down last weekend, becoming more tired with every second that passed. It was hard to get your brain off that addicting stuff called overthinking every single time you caught Yeonjun staring at you with tender, soft eyes. Simultaneously, you were hoping no one would call you out for daydreaming of what could’ve been, so you hid behind a tall person’s blonde head, hoping not to be caught.

Sadly, you were brought back to the room when a chorus of sighs collected together to make a violin whimper of disappointment.

“You will be working with the person beside you on the right,” the professor declared, clearing their throat while most of the class groaned altogether. Wait so that means...

In an instant, everything seemed way too overheated in the room now. Were you the only one feeling hot or what?! You knew fully what was supposed to come next since you were the only two sitting on the top, the rest of the bottom being filled out by tons of people who were tuning in to the lesson.

Sometimes life doesn’t work the way we want it to. That itself was obvious. Otherwise you’d be somewhere else being happy instead of working with this jerk!

You couldn’t help the frustration of curses you thought in your head, glaring at the boy who was giggling cutely to himself.

“Oh, looks like you’re paired up with me! I can’t wait to work with you, Y/N~” The tone of his voice made your heart skip a beat, the all too familiar teasing getting to your head. As you expected, whatever he said would have an effect on you, instantly making you heat up at how true that statement was.

Smiling, you gulped, feeling too parched all of a sudden. God only knows how much you wanted to get out of there right away. You were dying not to embarrass yourself, collecting your books together as you slathered a polite tone to your voice. Somehow you got the words out despite making clear eye contact with him way too long for your own good. It felt so wrong to say he was a masterpiece but it felt so right to keep looking at him like this.

“Where should we work?” Yeonjun asked once more.

He leaned closer to you, leaning on his hand as he maintained an direct, intent gaze. Your lips formed into a straight line, hopelessly wishing he wouldn’t see how much of a mess you were in front of him. Then he licked his lips. That was the end of you! He and you both knew that it was meant to be flirtatious. Your ears burned at the sight. Well that was enough to be looking at his eyes now! You foolishly turned away.

“Hmm, how about we meet at the bakery everyday at five? Are you okay with that?” Yeonjun suggested, raising an eyebrow to comprehend your unsure expression. You nodded your head acceptingly, albeit a bit defeated. He shouldn’t have been expecting anything. You were fine with whatever place you could meet up by, but didn’t he know that you weren’t fine working with him?!

After the quiet and easily awkward atmosphere, you turned on your heel getting up from the exhausting spot. It was much too uncomfortable for you to plan out a schedule with him, and second you weren’t able to catch the directions with him chatting it up a bunch.

Of course you wanted to be mature about the situation, but it was impossible for you. If it was another person, then you would’ve been fine. You could ask around but that itself was scary too. Your heart was in a tugging predicament with you in between, and you weren��t sure what to choose. Seems like Yeonjun was your only choice now. It would’ve helped you move on but with him right there, it would be harder to really think about yourself for once. You shot him one more look, hoping it would be the last.

“Yeonjun, don’t think you’re fooling me with this flirting. You know I can’t work with you after what you said. I’m sorry, but find someone else who’ll be open to being your partner.” You opted to get up from your seat, trying to dash away as quickly and quietly as possible until he said something that made you paralyzed as you got up.

“Y/N, please wait!”

Suddenly the world stopped and in it, you could only see the two of you with Yeonjun clinging gently to you.

He grabbed your arm before you could move to another seat, holding on tightly just to make you stay. You winced at how warm it was compared to your shaking arm, avoiding his vulnerable eyes due to embarrassment. You didn’t know how you were supposed to do this project anyway when you couldn’t even look at him in the first place.

“I know, and I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have done whatever we did while we were drunk and bothered you like that. Just... can you work with me this once? I want you to get a good grade with me.”

Gradually, his words became inaudible at the end, as if too ashamed to say it out loud. It was an understatement to say what he said was surprising. Therefore you couldn’t help but gasp at how vulnerable he got when you tried to move away from him when you thought he would’ve let you go after what happened. It was clearly too much for you to see his adorable puppy dog eyes, glistening and sparkling with sincerity when you safely decided to look back at him, feeling weak in the knees with uncertainty of what to say.

And although you wanted to say no so badly, you spoke without thinking and murmured something only he could hear.

“Okay then... Let’s do well.”

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Before you knew it, five pm rolled by and you were face-to-face at the bakery where Yeonjun was waiting for you. At this point, you were reluctant to go through with this since you could easily say you hadn’t found anyone to do the project with. But knowing that the teacher was stubborn and hardheaded when they made plans like these, it would be impossible to convince him to let you work alone. Plus, you actually got ready instead of throwing your favorite hoodie this time! You couldn’t let all your extra effort and special preparing to go to waste just because it was Yeonjun.

And gosh, you just had to remind yourself it was Yeonjun again.

The advances were simple. You had brought all your heavy books relating to the subject, hoping they’d be able to help but now all they seemed to do was weigh you down from getting the door. The wind was heartless, sending icy gusts through your clothes as you heaved out a sigh. It would’ve been good if you just left now instead. But this would only make matters worse. You swiped your phone again, purposely ignoring the contact name of ‘Stupid Mean Jerk Jjuniebug.’ He hadn’t texted you yet saying he was there so you hesitated a tiny bit before reaching for the golden door handle and eventually going inside.

The warm smell of cookies, cakes, and a variety of baked breads welcomed your nose, making the corners of your lips turn up with satisfaction. Out of all the distractions in the world, the Boulangerie was such a perfect place to go to do anything, really. If it wasn’t for your stupid project, you’d probably relax and enjoy a cup of your favorite drink paired with one of the delights they had here! It sounded like flawless idea. Happily, you made a mental memorandum in your head to plan out a day with Soobin where the two of you could hang out and tell stories to each other. He would definitely enjoy this place because of all of the bread you could order.

Surprisingly, Yeonjun was there already and you assumed he was writing something important down due to the determined expression on his face. He furrowed an eyebrow, slightly biting is lip while you inched towards him. You couldn’t help the smile that arose on your cheeks because of how endearing he looked as he worked hard, holding tightly to the books in your arms when you finally came close to him.

He looked up from his little notes of hearts and bunnies he was doodling as soon as a pair of shoes made unpretentious clitter-clacks, eyes lighting up with admiration when he realized that it was you standing there.

“I ordered your favorite dessert while waiting for you. Do you still like it?”

The words got stuck in your throat. He got you something? He must’ve been thinking of your arrival too attentively otherwise there’s no way that was true, but gosh did Yeonjun prove you wrong in a second.

Glancing at the sweets before you paired with a dainty teacup of your favorite drink, a gasp left your lips that embodied awe since he still remembered what you liked to order whenever you came to the Boulangerie with him. The snow white lace of the table fabric created flashbacks in your mind and you tensed up in realization. You hadn’t come here in two months- the last time you were able to picture your last date with him. Although, that wasn’t the point at all.

You were not to be expecting anything after the two of you separated even if the two of you were exes. It was just in Yeonjun’s moral codes in life to be kind to anybody and especially you whenever he please just because it was normal to him. You adored how pure he was, but at the same time you couldn’t shake how he acted towards you almost two months ago. That hostile expression on his face- one you’d never seen before- couldn’t ever be erased from your memory no matter how much effort you put in it.

But the past was the past. No bad things could happen like that now, could it? It was all because the two of you broke up. You were exes.

And yet, you could smile freely like nothing of the sort happened towards the two of you. After all, it was the right thing to do wasn’t it? Yeonjun would’ve wanted you to do that too, you knew it deep inside despite desiring to deny it. To move on and not have any feelings of pent up frustration and anger towards each other. Joy swelled in your heart at how much maturity you were gaining because of heartbreak. Maybe the two of you could be friends. Maybe.

“Thank you so much for doing this even if you didn’t have to, Yeonjun. I’m surprised you even came since your friends are much more interesting than me. I’m glad that you did though.”

You decided to take a bite in the delicacy, immediately not regretting the dulcet decision as you relished in the simple sweetness that came with it. Honestly, you missed this wonderful, mouth watering taste so much! Just like what you remembered, you shut your eyes in pure content, not being able to take in the sight of the boy in front of you who chuckled to himself.

Yeonjun heaved a breath of amusement from his chest, cheek laying down on his hand again as his eyes showed nothing but the sincere feeling of endearment towards you. He shifted comfortably on his side, grabbing one of the crimson, bright strawberries from his plate as he bit onto the juicy tip of it.

“You know, you’re always cute when you smile like that,” he whispered, not caring whether or not you heard it- which you obviously did.

You puffed your cheeks out at this.

“Shut up...! We’re here for a project, remember? Not to... flirt, silly.”

The mischievous yet saccharine grin on his face made you flustered and you glanced away from him, pretending to look at the tray of enclosed desserts that you saw when you first entered the bakery. You couldn’t allow yourself to become distracted like this! Not to mention that looking at him straight through doesn’t seem to help either!

“Oh, but when I look at you I can’t seem to focus on anything else. I’m being serious here; I just really can’t seem to take my eyes off you.”

The slamming yet gentle sound of you slamming the spoon you were holding on the table gave everything away and his eyes turned into euphoric crescents that only signaled delight.

“Yeonjun, I said shut your trap. All these cheesy compliments and I’ll... we have to do our project, so please cooperate and let’s put our work together to actually do something good.” You pulled your books together in a pile, acting as if you were really doing something in order to distract him from teasing you. The raging beat of your heart begged to differ, so you hoped he wouldn’t hear it or else that would give him another reason to make you flustered.

“As you wish, princess. We’ll work so well together that you’ll miss me once I drop you home!”

Princess...?

He’ll drop you home...?

You groaned in annoyance at the nickname and offer although you kind of enjoyed it, wanting to smack Yeonjun in the mouth for not listening to your request. He must’ve been deaf or something because the whole time he kept throwing coy phrases you’d never heard before or trying to whine about how much work it all was for the two of you.

You were only starting to understand how annoying he was whenever he got cranky and dozed off for thirty minutes, leaving you to search through all those books and gather information yourself which was luckily a lot of help. It was a nice silence for a while but once he got back to annoying you endlessly, you swore you could rip all your hair off from the frustration building up from inside of you.

How were you going to do a week of working with him when you couldn’t even look at him in the eye every time he made pouty, kissing lips? Or take him seriously whenever he called you a pet name for that matter? You wished future you the best luck, unfortunately not knowing what would arrive in the times to come.

...

“Hey, could you look at this for a second? I’m having trouble if I should or more exactly- how I should put this down when it makes no sense.”

You laughed at how clueless he was when it came to his favorite subject, shuffling right beside him to see what he was struggling with. It was too natural, too suspicious for the both of you not to know this. You contained the snickers of mock once you put it all together, silently calling him stupid in your head for not being able to jot down this simple effortless thing. You twisted your body towards the notes, enough for your shoulders to meet together.

Little did you know that Yeonjun only wanted you to come close to him, and it was more than suffice to say it worked out in his favor.

You were explaining everything to him but the only thing he could focus on was the little things about you. The bitty, endearing gestures of your hands while you connected two of the subjects, the way your chest heaved up and down when you took a tiny breath of air, and even how your lips opened and closed was enough for Yeonjun’s fluffy cheeks to heat up and bloom into a rosy red. The words droned off as it echoed between the two of you, easily becoming pointless since he wasn’t paying attention anyway.

A couple of seconds passed between the two of you when the bakery suddenly became silent, and he gripped the pencil he dropped earlier on the table as you shot him a shy smile. Yeonjun’s knuckles became white with every second his stare lingered on you. You were way too cute for your own good, and you didn’t even know it- so why was he surprised? He, too, was hoping you wouldn’t be able to notice the aggressive thumping in his chest.

“Yeonjun? You got all of that, right?” Your symphony-like voice snapped him from out of his trance.

“Okay, then I’ll put that down,” he breathed tiredly.” It looks like he was getting exhausted too, huh? You were about to say a few words of encouragement until he cut you off with his own.

“We’re almost done researching; just hang in there, alright? You’ve been doing so well, Y/N.”

The gentle, supporting words was enough to send ripples through your heart and you nodded your head, all the while checking through what you noted and what you forgot. You wanted to keep thinking about what he said and how it motivated you to keep going. You didn’t want to upset you and most definitely not him. However, the fatigue coating your eyes was too much and you slowly closed the heavy lids, head slowly turning to the side before you fell on something all too familiar.

A sudden yet light weight on his shoulder made him look up from what he was writing down, stunning him in his spot when he saw you had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He must’ve known that this much thinking wore you out after such a long while. A tender smile decorated his lips and he took in your every feature, hoping to draw out the face that made him feel alive.

“She’s so cute...” He grabbed his jacket from the side he’d taken off earlier, laying it gently upon you with his other hand as if it was something he’d done since the beginning of time. You nuzzled your cheek against his way too comfortable shoulder, becoming more snug with each minute that passed by. He couldn’t help the skip in his heartbeat when you muttered his favorite nickname in your sleep, this ‘Jjuniebug’ being much more different compared to the past because he knew you were dreaming of him.

When such a sight like this was to be treasured by anyone, he decided he didn’t want to work anymore. Like the gentleman he was, he gathered your books together, pushing your plate to the side before laying his head against yours. He intertwined your hands with his, grinning gently from ear to ear at the warmness he felt from inside.

He stole one more glance at you, fingers delicately dancing from your cheekbone all the way to your chin, tracing your jaw as gingerly as he could. This was what he was hoping for after such a long time of not receiving it. That itself was rightfully so, yet having you near meant the world and so much more to him.

Then he glanced out the window where rain was drizzling, creating a dreading gray atmosphere which was nothing but chaos. It could’ve been something that alerted him on such a dreary day, making him anxious at how he was going to get home in a mess. But to him, he wouldn’t trade this peaceful present. Always, he wanted to be close to you like this. It couldn’t have been too much to ask, honestly.

“Tell me,” he said to no one in particular, “how can you make a moment last forever?”

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Tuesday passed as quickly as Monday did and you swiftly got prepared for five pm later. You were bouncing with excitement, ready to see the boy who’d been waiting for you over at the library, a place you decided together when he texted you during lunch break. To be true to yourself, you couldn’t wait to work with him. All day you were waiting for the horrid, slow hours to pass of lectures and countless assignments online, lingering silently through the minutes that seemed to go by forever in hopes that everything would go faster. The relief you felt when you were dismissed for the day and the joy that swelled in your heart when you went home, preparing yourself as best you could.

You didn’t understand why you were buzzing with energy over meeting someone like this, for wasn’t it true the two of you were exes? Two months ago you broke up; that was quite obvious. It didn’t help that and that number one: he was a jerk after a while of dating you, and number two: he was probably playing with your heart if you decided to be smart. But then again you always rewarded that guilty pleasure by saying the past was the past and he bought you your favorite delicacy. He may have hurt you before and because of that, you promised yourself you wouldn’t ever date him ever again.

With that thought in mind you threw your favorite outfit on that you planned just the night before, looking in the mirror twice just to make sure you looked okay. Deep down you knew it was a lie to say you weren’t doing these special things for him, trying to convince yourself that in doing so- this dressing up would do your ego a favor. Yeonjun didn’t have to see this, not at all! It was all because you wanted to look decent. Just that.

So sneakily, you crept out of the house while slipping your shoes on since nobody would notice you were gone. You checked your phone at least twice before opening the door, clearly not ready for the surprising sight your eyes landed upon as soon as you left home.

In front of you was the boy who had taken your mind captive all day, smiling from ear to ear as his fingers combed gently through his blue hair.

You gasped at how he actually came to your house after teasing yesterday that he would, but you never knew he’d carry out his plan. He would keep poking your cheek while saying something under his breath like how he’d visit you one day to pick you up. He would never do that, right? Well no, you were extremely wrong and just a day after your project date went well.

Nonetheless, you couldn’t stop the touched grin on your face to know he was waiting for you.

“Hey, Y/N,” he shyly giggled and that itself made your heart skip a beat, “let’s walk to the library together today, alright? Wait, let me take your books, please!”

Even with your protests and several no’s, he still took your books and placed it snugly against his left arm, teasing about how light they were together. You glared at him for a second before taking a few steps when he suddenly grabbed your hand.

You turned around, eyes wide in a daze.

“What is it?”

An overwhelming heat rose up to your cheeks and ears, making you feel hot in the face as you realized he was still holding on.

“If it isn’t too much to ask, can I hold your hand today? I really miss the warm feeling you gave me last summer.”

He held his hand out expectantly, waiting for you to take it on your own accord. You easily obliged- albeit a bit hesitantly- putting your hand against his and allowing him to guide you to wherever- whenever he wanted. The way his eyes lit up as he lead you to the place was precious, making you feel soft with endearment at how gentle he treated you.

Now this? This was bad. So, so bad.

On the day you left Yeonjun’s house in tears, you weren’t expecting any of this to happen. You weren’t sure how you could trust him so easily after everything he’s done- maybe it was the way you felt his sincerity in every smile he sent you or how tenderly he had grabbed your hand just now, but the happiness bottling up inside you did not lie. You felt pure jubilation whenever you saw him.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

It was Wednesday.

Wednesday, the middle of the school days where you desperately wanted to claw your eyes out from how tedious everything was. Wednesday, a day where nothing significant happened but nothing too horrible happened either. Wednesday, a reminder that you only had two days left- counting today and Thursday- to work with Yeonjun. You hated the bitter taste of having to really say goodbye, but the future had to be on the brighter side then. After this, you swore you wouldn’t ever see him and his damn handsome face for another accidental time.

Just about reaching four in the afternoon, you decided to go with Soobin over to the Boulangerie where you’d been promising yourself to take him since Monday. It was luck on your side today that you actually went out for some fresh air, carrying out some of the awaiting plans you had on your checklist. Sometimes it was nice to have a breather in the middle of the week when everything else was distracting.

It started off as usual, and you realized you hadn’t seen him since that very day of hearing Yeonjun’s offer to be your partner. To be quite honest, you didn’t really think about telling him since it shouldn’t be that important, but the boy knew it was important just by from the hesitance in your expressions. His fingers placed the glass filled with chocolate milk on the table gently and curiously prodded.

“Y/N? You’ve been acting strange lately; is everything okay?”

You glanced up from the china plate, eyes widening with surprise. You weren’t sure what he was talking about. It couldn’t have been anything important, could it? Or were you being so obvious about your giant, giant problem?

“Yeah, everything is fine, Bin! Trust me, there isn’t anything going wrong but I guess you could say that... from your perspective.”

You made sure to look at the way he reacted and seeing how his head titled with wonder, you chose to give it a try.

“Well... I should’ve called you about this but I’m working with Yeonjun for a project. We have to turn it in by Friday, but we’ve been doing stuff on it since Monday. It doesn’t mean anything though, and we’re supposed to meet up at the park (Moonlight) today.” You intentionally left out the fact he asked you and those sweet moments since you were afraid of his reaction.

You knew he was one to be respectful and kind no matter the person, although because of all this tugging back and forth between his best friends- you couldn’t blame him for wanting to sock either one of you for being so stupid. And stupid were you and Yeonjun for not being able to get enough of each other, at least that’s how you viewed it. Soobin wouldn’t dare to hurt either one of you since the two of you were best friends; physically wouldn’t cut it. You hoped he would just remain patient like he’d always have- one thing you were grateful for, obviously, instead of freaking out at the recent moments you’ve experienced.

That being said, the look on Soobin’s face was absolutely priceless once you told him about your predicament.

“You two? On a project? TOGETHER?!”

Glumly you nodded your head, expecting him to say something but his mouth was filled with shock to the brim that he couldn’t even bring himself to say anything.

“Yup, that’s true. You didn’t know about it?” To say the least, you were surprised he didn’t know about it since Yeonjun was one to trust him about everything. Little things like this would count, yes, and you could very vividly remember how he blabbed to Soobin when you first started dating about how to keep a girl on her period happy.

In response, he shook his head, hand still glued covering his mouth. Your lips slightly turned upwards at his melodramatic feedback.

“No, he didn’t tell me anything at all about it! Why are you guys keeping secrets from me?”

Ouch, that stung. But at the same time, what were you expecting?

“That’s a surprise. I thought he couldn’t keep his mouth--”

The deafening, shuffling sound of the store bell rang throughout your ears, causing you to shudder at the intermittent sound. This was a popular Boulangerie so you didn’t need to be surprised whenever a new customer came in, but it stunned you at the worst times. You shrugged at Soobin’s suddenly ghost white reaction, thinking he was just kidding with you again and went back to the cup of a refreshing drink. Honestly, you couldn’t care less about it unless it was someone you knew.

You lifted the cup to pass through your lips until the familiar sight of messy radiant, blue hair caught the peripheral vision of your eye.

It had to be him. It couldn’t be anyone else.

“Y-Yeonjun...?”

As your heart dropped to your stomach, your voice broke out gently, making you the only person to hear it muffled with both distress and disbelief. There was no possible way you were witnessing what was happening in front of you. You didn’t want to believe it, squinting your eyes over and over again just to get a good look. It was still him no matter what you did, no matter what you changed.

Somehow, he didn’t notice you.

He sat down at a table, sending a sugary smile towards an alluring girl who sent him the same one back. Your back became rigid at the too close proximity of their faces. They chatted for a little bit about anything that could cross their minds, obviously flirting with the stares sent back and forth and back again until it turned into a full discussion- both of them laughing their hearts out. Happiness from the ideal ‘couple’ (as anyone could’ve mistaken them) spread around the Boulangerie contagiously, making everyone awe at the sight of them fully enjoying themselves. But you? You? Your heart shattered piece by piece while watching this play out.

Too many questions flooded in your mind at once as well as too many insecurities, paralyzing you in your spot as you couldn’t find the correct way to breathe again. It was getting too hard to find the air in, you realized. Soobin called your name out many times- to get you to listen, to get you out of your stupid trance, to get you to do anything else in the world but look because it’d hurt you just as much as it did for him!

To this, you were only sitting still, staring and staring like a dormant painting hanging in a museum just to find out that you wouldn’t ever be able to change anything, but only see the people in front of you. You didn’t want to look at the face of pain in front of you but... if you looked away then something else might happen.

You cradled yourself in your arms, trying to stop the icy cold breeze that whirled pass your rips and over to the tips of your toes. It didn’t make sense to you. Why even bother putting effort into winning him back? You wouldn’t be able to be as good enough. You shouldn’t have even tried in the first place.

You gulped down those insecurities again, trying to calm your shaking hands.

It wasn’t possible to be that perfect... not at all. She was such a stunning girl, the epitome of everything you weren’t and what you didn’t have. She had such sparkling eyes, such a gorgeous smile, and not to mention an impeccable complexion that had every single girl in the world jealous. Everything about her was simply perfect and that drowned your own specialties into the deepest ocean called hatred.

Once again you glanced at Yeonjun who seemed to be having fun with the deep chuckles and smiles he was freely giving up. Oh, how bad you wanted it to be you but this reminder was one that gave you a wake up call. You never really had a chance in the first place.

He then turned his head a little to the side, ultimately being able to see you sitting next to Soobin just like you had planned. His honeyed brown eyes changed from smug into something unreadable you couldn’t put your finger on before changing in a split second to look back at the girl.

The decision dawned on you, and you clenched your fists until you felt flashing, white pain run through your fingers.

He didn’t even care.

You were stupid enough to believe he actually liked you back again. You were stupid enough to think that with all these sweet interactions and words, he was warming up to you for another countless time. You were stupid to think he was being truthful that drunken night, saying he needed you clearly as much as you needed him. Finally, you were stupid enough to think he loved you. Now the proof was smack dab in your face, blinding you from your goal of hating him, and you were such a fool to be thinking he would really be yours after such a long while.

The glossy tears gathered in your eyes, angry, frustrated but pointless words with no explanation becoming more stuck in your throat when you glanced once more at the sight across from you. Time passed by through the regal clock, ringing in an ear and out the other. One way or another, you needed to get out of there and you needed it to be now.

You hastily slung your bag filled with papers over your shoulders, making sure you hid the flowing tears from everyone’s sight. Just one turn and he’d probably see you so pitiful at the wrong time. You certainly didn’t want to look pathetic, especially not in front of Yeonjun, whom you still loved with all your heart.

In a dash, you aggressively swiped the entrance of the door handle and into the day where you just wanted to disappear. Bell ringing haphazardly behind you, you weren’t able to perceive you were out of the bakery until another customer ignored your everblooming sadness, struggling behind you to get the door. Tears soon fell on the ground after holding them in for too long, signaling your vulnerability as you crouched down behind the bakery to let everything keeping your heart captive out. This time, for real, you really weren’t going to see him again even if it meant your grades being obliterated.

You hated him. You hated him so much for what he did back there.

And yet here you were, running away from your problems again.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

“Y/N?”

It was a mistake. It was all a mistake. You shouldn’t have pressed accept without looking at the contact name. You were just so stupid that it was funny. Just another one of the reasons why he wouldn’t ever want to date you again. How could you blame him for breaking up with you?

“Y/N, you there?”

He was seeing another girl, you should’ve known. Why didn’t you know? Why did you have to be such a fool to be used in the first place? And why the hell were you sad about it when you could be using this opportunity to be getting over him?!

“Y/N, you’re not responding and I’m getting worried. Is there something I can do? Please...?”

You were just exes. Exes, for crying out loud! Exes. That’s all.

“Y/N, if you’re there just-”

“yeah, I’m right here,” you murmured quietly, caring any less that he might have not heard you in the end. If he was able to really see how you accidentally looked at him earlier, then surely he would’ve known how the world crashed on your shoulders just by looking at you. Oh, but it was funny wasn’t it? It didn’t matter anyway. After all, he wouldn’t give a damn right? Not what he did back there he wouldn’t.

Because of that, you realized that this conversation with him was not needed. Whether it was because of the project or if it was for a favor, you wouldn’t be able to do it without looking weak in his eyes. Your finger hovered over the red button, tempted to press hang up until again, his act of using a concerned voice tugged painfully on your heart strings.

“Wait, are you okay? Do you need me to be there? Something’s wrong, I know you’re not okay,” he tried for another time, breathing through the call tiredly as if he was oblivious to what went on earlier. The hate for him smoldered in your chest, and your fingers tightened around the phone so arduously that they turned white, shaking hysterically.

“No, I...” you felt your voice break, and you covered the change in pitch by clearing your throat. With the lump so gigantic that you couldn’t even breathe, it hurt to tell him a lie, much less speak at that moment. You put on a tone to make it more believable. “Everything’s fine. Just busy right now.”

“You’re lying,” he whispered so softly into the receiver you were wondering yourself if you had heard him in the first place. You forced yourself to laugh at his statement, but it came naturally, knowing it was all too true.

“I’m not lying, I promise! I just took a nap, that’s all. No need to be so worked up over me.” You figured that teasing him would be the best way to cover up your sorrow, giggling alongside him because you were so bad at lying. Nonetheless, you hoped he would take this approach, waiting silently on the floor for his best answer.

On the other side he hummed hesitantly, mumbling a few words that you couldn’t quite comprehend because you knew he didn’t want to hear them. You barely noticed you were in the corner holding yourself, rocking back and forth as the anticipation of just hanging up crept up on you.

Before you could start, Yeonjun grumbled in concern.

“Well... okay then. But if you really want to convince me you’re fine then you’ll keep your promise and meet at Moonlight today. We still have a lot to do, so let’s meet up at the usual time. You’ll be there, right?”

“Um... I...”

What else could you say? It would be rude to decline and you weren’t in the mood to lie after all that. Well, he didn’t buy it all but at least he got off the topic. You were thankful to him for not budging, although this had to be one of the worst things he could ever suggest. Not only about how you feel in the end but about the project too. As far as you were concerned, you only a little left so you were able to work separately anyway. He didn’t have to go so far to do things his way, but this would show you he didn’t need you at all.

You spoke on impulse hastily after the long, deafening silence.

“Yeah, okay. S-see you then.”

Abruptly, you hung up before the tears could start again. Not even letting him throw in a sincere goodbye to your predicament.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Just like what you remembered, Moonlight was still a breathtaking place where the golden sun shone during the day and the moon peeked out from the dim curtains of nighttime. You sighed, staring longingly at the beautiful scenery before you and sat down under one of the trees. It’d been so long since you chose to come here, especially by yourself this time. There were happy memories that came along with this place and you didn’t want to think about the bad ones, of course. However everywhere you looked, it would only remind you of him and that was the least thing you wanted to have at the back of your mind right now.

Checking the time, you made sure you didn’t arrive too early or too late. It was a few minutes after five and true to your word, you actually came. You were surprised at yourself for showing up voluntarily with your mind in such a bad condition, acting as if you were okay just for a stupid project. If you’d done this earlier, you would’ve definitely said no. Perhaps it was the way he was worried about you- although, you thought it was fishy- that you wanted to come. Maybe then you would’ve gotten the attention you wanted after all this time, with this being the final time you’ll see him.

Eventually, you saw the familiar blue haired boy arrive just a quarter after your planned time. He was panting heavily and you swore you almost felt bad for him until the image of him catching eyes with you from earlier rearranged your thought process by miles. You stood up expectantly as he ran over to you, planting his hands on his knees in order to regain breath.

“So sorry for being late, Y/N,” he choked out restlessly, taking your hands into his as an apology. He held them tightly in place, squeezing in an attempt to excuse himself for why he was late. Instantly you gasped at the contact, slowly pulling away so that he wouldn’t realize that you more or less hated his affection. At times when you’d be melting at this, you failed to realize that your suspicions were true and he was playing you behind your back.

A tight lipped smile that screamed passive-aggressiveness became of your lips and you were eager to take a few steps away from him, shuffling to get under the spot you sat earlier. You backed away a little bit but weren’t able to get far because your shoes slipped from something shaped like a square underneath you. The breath was knocked off your lungs as you fell towards the ground and you plunged back, waiting to hit the ground. That is, until someone caught you by the waist.

You opened your eyes after a few seconds of waiting and as soon as you did... you felt all the blood rush up into your face.

“Y-Yeonjun...”

You weren’t expecting anything like this. Nothing sweet like this at all! Said boy was intently gazing at you, holding you by the waist as you were too shocked to say or hell- even do anything with him this close. Your head tilted away to the side this time, trying to think of anything else that would stop the intermittent pace of your heart beats. Gossiping with Soobin about what happened just now, the way you fell at school a few years earlier and embarrassed yourself and how he helped you up out of everyone else right after, the first moment you laid eyes on him and met the blue haired boy just like that... But no, all you could think of was him, him, and only him!

He seemed to be getting a kick out of this, teasing you with an adorable smile that had you awestruck.

“Were you scared...? Don’t worry about it anymore; I’ll always be here to catch you when you fall, I promise.”

It was then that he started to lean in after chuckling at your shyness, bringing your face closer to his as his eyes ran across yours. Your breath quickened just by looking back at him turn towards you- his gorgeous eyelashes that you felt the need to count each, his nose that was sculpted by the angels, his cherry blossom pink lips you so desperately needed- memorizing every valley on his face as you had done earlier when the two of you dated. Oh wait, dated...?

In a moment, you flung yourself off him. What were you doing with him?! Whatever this was and whatever he was doing- it wasn’t right! It just wasn’t right... It wasn’t right when he was choosing to see someone else, and that girl back there no matter how much you couldn’t help but despise her- did not deserve it. It wasn’t right.

Your legs felt like jelly, unable to stand by yourself as you carried out an attempt to get away from him. It didn’t seem so long ago that you couldn’t get enough of him but now you were itching to be left alone. You wanted to deal with this yourself, not reignite the fire of the hopes that he would return back. He lost that chance and you lost the chance of loving him again- even if yes, you still did love him. It was enough for you anyway- the love he gave you before only serving as a unreachable memory. You realized you needed to relinquish him.

Immediately you pushed him off you, watching the sweet expression on his face bend into something broken. The distance between you became even farther and farther with every breath your chest heaved. You gulped.

“I’m fine. Let’s just get to work so we can finish this,” you deadpanned, bringing your books that used to be laying dormant on the green grassland against your chest, moving under the tree where he broke up with you. This way you would be able to remind yourself that it wasn’t meant to be.

Surprised by your ill nature, Yeonjun nodded carefully, deciding to ponder in his head what was making you act this way instead of asking more questions. There was obviously something wrong, but he didn’t want to bother you more. To him he was unable to think of what he had done wrong and certainly hated the tense atmosphere when you refused to touch him, much less look at him. He just went along with it unknowingly like a fool that it was because of him the whole time.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

It was too hard to concentrate.

Your eyes searched despondently over the materials over and over and over again to write down something- anything that could possibly benefit the project, but it didn’t help at all that your mind was still on the boy sitting in front of you. Like a mantra, the memories of him smiling with that flawless girl kept replaying in your head as many more times as you bit by bit became insane with wrenching love.

Again, you couldn’t help but steal another glance at him before quickly ducking back down so he wouldn’t be able to catch you staring. He looked so peaceful while retracing his steps in the books, laying on his hand as a stand for his cheek. You hated how he could act so fine while you were left with nothing but hate towards him. Could you even call it hate anyway? It wasn’t true at all.

Yeonjun’s soothing voice snapped you out from your daze of pity, but it did the least to heal you and your pathetic attitude.

“Hey, do you think we could rest a second? I might fall asleep here if we have to keep reading about this nonsense stuff.”

You didn’t look up from your book, allowing him easy access to rest on your shoulder as silently as he could. His heart leaped with joy in his chest, but there was no chance he’d ever say it out loud. He graciously laid his head down upon it, becoming enamoured with your scent as he reached out to touch your hand. This need of affection easily leveled the desire which screamed out he needed you, but he wasn’t sure if he’d ever get an opportunity to be yours again.

You, on the other hand, was dying to tell him you loved him- but it wasn’t right when he simply had the same love as you for another girl.

But at the same time, you wanted to be strong. You had to be strong in order to convince him you were doing fine without him even if the truth was far from that. You had to put on a mask to hide the pain you were going through just because of him and his stupid, contagious smile that makes you grin every time you see it. You had to be strong, otherwise you’d never fool him that you needed him more than anything or anybody you’ve ever wanted. You had to be strong... but why were all your actions simply betrayed you no matter what you did?

“Get off me.”

Your shoulders started to shake aimlessly, shuddering when you felt his head bury more into the crook of your skin. He must’ve not heard anything, and you clenched your jaw until it twitched with pain.

“I said, get off me!”

As hard as you could, you pushed him off you- enough that you were just inches apart from him. It didn’t compare to the distance between you that you came to note before.

The tears were hot against your cheeks and you collapsed into your shaking hands, unable to hold it in anymore. In all your life, you’ve never felt so humiliated before just because a boy lied to you willingly. You felt pathetic.

To say the least, Yeonjun was taken aback, his eyes wide with shock as he hopelessly reached out his hand to you. All the love you bore just for him crashed into waves upon your chest, and you slapped his fingers away harshly before he could even say something.

Miserably you hid your face from him, not allowing him to see such a mess that he caused by his own hands.

“Who even are you? Are you the Choi Yeonjun who broke up with me or are you someone else?! I don’t understand how you can act like this after everything that happened... tell me, are you just playing with me or something?”

“Y/N, that’s not what I meant to do...” he tried tiredly, scooting closer to no avail as you turned your back away from him.

You laughed at his words, still not being able to look at him straight in the eye.

“Not what you meant to do? You’re telling me that it’s not what you meant to do?! Then who- who was she? Because it seemed to me that you were happier with her than you could’ve ever been with me!”

The silence that broke you apart was too deafening as you caught another look at him.

“Y/N, that’s not true... just listen, please,” Yeonjun begged, gazing at you desperately with unreadable but melancholy expression that had you on edge. He knew that you wouldn’t stay if he physically bound you in his embrace, but he had no clue what to do or what to say. He just wanted- no, needed you to really live.

Your heart broke all the more at the words he tried to pick up in order to explain- which you were sure he could hear even if he seemed very far. Easily you trashed his attempt away, getting up from your spot since you didn’t want to hear anything- anymore lies that would hurt the person you tried so hard to protect and shield away from the inevitable demise of love... that was you.

Yeonjun hurriedly got up along with you, leaving the pile of your books abandoned on the floor as he rushed out to match your pace. He ran with all his might to catch up with you but every time he reached your side- you would push him away like earlier and he didn’t have time to find his breath.

“Yeonjun, leave her alone. Haven’t you done enough, already?”

Seconds later upon hearing another voice, you rushed to someone else’s side, hoping that he would be able to protect you from the danger. It was pitiful with you standing right behind him as if that would help, but it did more than what you could ever be grateful for.

Yeonjun tensed up at his spot, stunned to see Soobin when he could’ve sworn nobody else was at Moonlight. In his mind, he could see the two of you right there apart from everything else- the two friends that looked so good together... it had to be much better than him after what he’d done. He came to a thought, letting his guard down while words of Soobin asking too many questions towards you occupied his head.

“I knew it. I knew you two were dating. I-I should’ve known,” he mumbled under his breath, his morals paralyzing him in place as he dropped his gaze towards at the ground instead.

Somehow Soobin heard this muttering and smugly smirked at this silly situation, taking a fresh opportunity that could probably boost destiny’s way before hiding it with a deep frown. He pulled you flush against his chest, holding you when you surprisingly really needed it from someone else.

“You finally figured this out? Leave us alone; you lost your chance the minute you broke up with her, pal.”

As Soobin dragged you along, you took one last look towards Yeonjun and gasped when you saw along with yours- two longing eyes flowing with tears that were nothing short of love. You wanted to reach out to help him not to cry like that even if he hurt you, but it would never work out and he’d leave you just like he’d done before. This only showed that you weren’t meant to be, never in a million years.

And with that you left with the help of Soobin, leaving Yeonjun alone at Moonlight. Time passed to the point where he gazed upon the stars- wishing that you would come back because he wanted to say he still loved you- by himself.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

It was Thursday, the final day where the two of you would ultimately finish this project. The death of having an obligation which ripped your heart out, for better or for worse. The demise of whatever love you shared. The end of seeing him because you really wanted- no, you needed to. Everything was over in a blink of an eye and you were left feeling bittersweet about the situation... more bitter compared to sweet because you wanted more time with him. You knew deep down inside it wasn’t too much to ask, but... ending this would be for the better. It must be.

You were on your usual pathway home from the library after trying to bribe the librarian to excuse you from losing your books (when you actually accidentally left it there with him) while along the way thinking about what to do to make a grand finish for the project. Since the two of you worked on it a lot for a few hours before you exploded on him- something you weren’t sorry for in the least bit because it got your feelings out- it was safe to say that he wouldn’t bother you about it anymore. He finished his side, you were assuming, so he didn’t have to see you for the time being unless he ever decided to talk it out with you. Other than the fact that you totally hurt him back there, it honestly served you a great victory on a silver platter as you waited for the dragged out day to be over.

It was petty, of course it was! But after what he did back there at the Boulangerie while not to mention, make eye contact with you- sweet revenge had to be one of the best tastes a connoisseur could ever call upon.

And the project? Oh yeah, that’s right. It was a good thing that it was the final day so you wouldn’t have to act civil with him, for better or for worse.

After a few more blocks finally, you made it home, causing you to sigh out in relief. Hurriedly you grabbed your keys from your purse, fumbling with several of them to find the one that fit perfectly. The familiar touch never came though, and you groaned loudly, cursing yourself in your head for forgetting it in the library. It was when you set it down next to the book you were reading before you confronted the librarian- poor old woman- and somehow, you forgot to pick it up the second you got up.

Great, now this.

You opted to stare at the horizon in front of you, letting the breeze freely cool down your body. The sight was nothing less than pretty. It was a windy, golden sunny day outside but you didn’t want anything to do with it. All day you were planning to mope around the house and watch your favorite shows, procrastinating ‘til the last minute until the due date of every assignment arrived. They hit differently whenever you grabbed a bag of chips downstairs to finish them along with the homework, and you giggled at every moment that flashed in your head.

There was nothing else better to do but call Soobin, right? Although you didn’t want to bother him because these months have definitely been annoying for him whether he said it or not.

Defeated, you then stared down into the white porch as if it was at fault, feeling fear rise up your throat. What were you going to do? There was no one else you had given the key to, except...

“Y/N? Can we talk?”

Oh, no. Oh, no... Oh no no no!

When you heard that voice you were instantly glued to that spot, feet affixed on the porch as your heart beat too fast for its own good. Your mind must’ve been hallucinating and playing tricks on you; clearly you weren’t ready to see him yet!

Swiftly you moved your head to the side, eyes widening with appall to see that he was actually right there. Expression nothing less than sorrow, hair messed up and fluffy right in front of his eyes, cherry blossom lips curved into a trembling frown: it was Yeonjun, alright, but yet it was someone you couldn’t recognize due to the complete change of attitude in him. He was tightly holding onto your books but seemingly refusing to hand them over as if that would do anything better and increase the need for conversation. Unlike his stiff posture, his eyes held firm intent though, and you quivered at the determination sewn in them.

“Do you need anything?”

Instead of acting childish like you played out in your head, you simply responded it a curt voice because it was better than saying nothing and benefiting the sworn silence. More than anything you wanted to get out of there and leave the awkward tension, but there was nothing else you could possibly do without embarrassing yourself due to the fact you lost your keys.

“I... I...” This time, he avoided your eyes, words caught in his throat as he couldn’t find the exact thing to say. It wouldn’t make things any better, you realized. It just wasn’t meant to be.

You pursed your lips, locking them into a line. Whatever he had to say- it didn’t matter. Plus, there was another thing. As your eyes were already tearing up, it would be hard to stay for long to listen to his words. There was no telling what you’d say if tears automatically streamed down your cheeks.

“If you don’t have anything to say, then I’ll l-leave. We can just work on the project separa-”

Clack!

Before you could even stay true to your words, Yeonjun took slow steps towards you that had you walking backwards... without you looking.

Soon enough your back hit the door, and you gasped at the close proximity between the two of you now as he leaned in. His hands reached out to cage you in between his arms, tilting his head to the side to study your reaction. The soft blue hair brushed against the top of your head- showing how dangerously close he was. His breath fanned across your lips and his heavenly cologne infiltrated your sense of smell. If he decided to torture you even more, then you’d be able to touch noses from how near he was.

Look, you weren’t sure how to describe it at that moment other than- he was pinning you to the damn wall?! Suddenly you felt all the blood rush in your face, and it was then that you couldn’t make eye contact with him anymore- especially because he’d see how embarrassed you were! He didn’t have to be that close!

“yes, I need something. Or more specifically, you.”

His voice was much more huskier than you remembered it to be, and his eyes fell upon yours, begging for you to look back if not for your anxiety that he was this close. You immediately shut your eyes, heart beating erratically in your chest even if you tried to stop it by focusing on something else. But Yeonjun... how could you not think of anything else but him?! He was nothing short of breathtaking but seeing him this close and personal... it didn’t do good things for your heart!

“M-me?”

It was obvious that the boy was amused even if he felt guilty about the problem, making a quick exhale through his nose to show entertainment. His chuckle that came heartily through his chest caused your ears to heat up with shame since it showed how weak you were- just for him.

“Yes you, you silly baby,” he cooed endearingly, “who else could it be?”

“You’re one to be calling me silly! Don’t pretend like you were the one the other day who asked if frogs have blood!”

In a split second, his face morphed into something nothing less than serious and his left arm dropped to his side. You couldn’t help but wonder at the duality he managed to have when the gravity of the situation hit him.

“I miss things like this. I miss it so much. I miss joking around with you and chasing you around the house just to tickle you. I miss how attached you were because little did you know, I was just as much attached to you as you were to me.

“I miss the sweet look you give me every time I ask you out on a date. I miss having you right beside me whenever we studied together because you were the only person who cheered me on even when it was two in the morning. I miss giving you random kisses out of nowhere because I can’t get enough of you and that adorable, surprised face whenever I did so.

“I miss slipping my hand into yours whenever we would walk home together, letting you cling onto me so that I could protect you from all dangers. I miss giving you victory every argument we had because I hate making you cry. I miss cuddling you on the couch as we watched our favorite shows together whenever we were too lazy to get up and how I couldn’t stop smiling every time you laughed.

“I miss kissing the top of your forehead and you never knew because you were asleep. I miss waking up with you by my side and seeing something so gorgeous it would stay in my head all day even if I studied the same materials over and over again. I miss looking up at the stars with you at Moonlight and resting my head on your lap as you ran your fingers through my hair and how we’d do it every single week.

“Can’t you see? I miss you and every little thing you do, simple or exquisite. I know why you acted that way yesterday and I hate myself so much for not realizing it until later. I owed her something after she told me a way to somehow get closer to you when I’d done such a horrible thing. You can love Soobin- I don’t care about myself anymore as long I get to see my favorite girl smile due to the fact that she’s in love.

“Y/N, you mean much more to me than anything and it’s okay if you’re happy not loving me again because at least I got to experience the full joy and sadness that visited along with the love of my life. This may be the last time you may ever want to see me, but please... let me tell you how much I need you one last time.”

His eyes were shining, full of sincerity that you were able to feel even if you weren’t him. Tears resembling glistening pearls streamed down with his cheeks as he finally told you the truth he’d been dying to tell you, allowing you to see his vulnerabilities inside out. And yet, he was genuinely smiling as he confessed this, happy enough he got the chance to tell you loved you one last time.

Gradually he extended his arms out wide, allowing you to have your personal space while he took a few steps backwards and towards the grass where you followed him. By the end of it all, you weren’t able to help the tears welling up in your eyes at how touched you were from the inside. It was him, the boy who promised to love you until the end of time.

“Y-Yeonjun, I...” he cut in through your words, closing his eyes in fear of the pain that would soon become of his body if you did in the end, choose to grant his wish. It simply wasn’t enough to level the agony of his heart, but he was willing to take all the pain instead of burdening it on you.

“I’ll let you push me. I’ll let you hit me. I’ll let you get back what you deserve. You can slap me, as long as you let everything out. I don’t want you to hurt anymore because of me, so just do it!”

...

Silence.

Oh, the euphoric relief coursing in your veins that really pushed you over the edge.

Immediately you threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him as tightly as you could because you never wanted to let go. You melted into his embrace upon contact, burying your head against his chest that was warm and overflowing with passion. Yeonjun hesitantly embraced you back, unsure of what happened just now.

You couldn’t help but giggle at his dumbfound expression.

“You silly baby,” you teased, repeating his playful words from earlier, “I’m not dating Soobin and I never have. Why would I date him when I’ll never love this way again?”

You booped his nose as quickly as you could, smiling when he finally reciprocated the same grin back.

“Choi Yeonjun, you were such a fool to lose me, but I’m even more of a fool to love you again. I’ve never stopped loving you, although I’m sure you already knew that, hEY-”

With happiness overflowing the boy, he picked you up and you were swept off your feet in a second. Wide smiles reflected back and forth from his face to yours as he spun you around him a few inches from the ground, pure bliss surrounding the two of you since you both were complete again. He let you laugh in his hands, tickling your sides unintentionally while you snickered at him to let you down. He only chuckled at this, stopping in place but still refusing to listen to your request.

“I love your very big brain that’s so smart it makes me frustrated with how dumb I am sometimes,” he brought you down a little bit to kiss your forehead. He then trailed down to your nose.

“I love how you ask me for opinions of perfume when you know deep down instead I adore your natural scent instead,” he kissed your nose and you laughed at the feeling it naturally gave you.

“But most importantly,” Yeonjun placed you down on the golden grasslands again and ceased right in front of your lips, letting his breath fall upon them, “I love you.”

Then he connected your lips together, bringing you closer towards him than he had ever done before.

At last, everything was finally perfect.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Posted: 3/29/21- 1:37am (yes i did stay up halfway to two am just to get this finished. priorities people- it’s just a sweet early monday here 😔🧍)

Tags:

#txt fluff #txt angst #txt reactions #txt fic #txt ff #txt scenario #txt imagines #txt drabbles #yeonjun fluff #yeonjun angst #yeonjun fic #yeonjun ff #yeonjun scenario #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun drabbles #txt fanfic #yeonjun fanfic #*｡『 keah’s requests !』｡*

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mysmegrace · 4 years ago

Note

can i pls request the rfa comforting mc bc she is really stressed because of school (they find her crying because something a teacher said to her)

hello anon! of course! we've all been there and i know how overwhelming it is. if this is happening to you and you wanna chat, i'm always open <3 btw i'm gonna write the mc as a college student because of the romantic nature of this fic. if you would like another fic that has all the rfa members together helping you platonically, feel free to ask! stay safe <3

RFA Comforting an MC that is Stressed because of School

---

yoosung kim:

today was a tough one to say the least.

you were up until 2am last night doing an excessive amount of homework only for the professor to put you down for a few questions you got wrong.

as you laid in your bed looking out the window besides you, your mind keep replaying the scene over and over again.

almost like it wanted to torture you.

the professor piercing through your soul with the rage he held in his eyes.

the degrading words he spewed at you, calling you every insult in the book.

and worst of all, he did it in front of everybody.

you have never felt so embarrassed.

these replaying memories made you cuddle up with your bundled blanket and simply start to sob.

you couldn't understand why people were so cruel sometimes.

little to your knowledge, yoosung was planning a date night out to celebrate your 100th day anniversary.

the professor had got you so upset that you forgot about the occasion.

so low and below, 15 minutes into your sob session was when yoosung came in unexpectedly.

the flowers he carried in his hand quickly dropped.

he ran to your sobbing figure and gave you an awkward hug from behind.

that was when you came to your senses and shot right up.

he looked at you like he had just seen a ghost.

his forehead written with concern.

your tired red eyes were a clear giveaway of your upset state.

there was no way you were covering this up.

yet you couldn't continue holding back your tears in front of him.

so he brought you to his chest as you sobbed for the second time tonight.

throughout your cries, you were explaining what the day has done to you.

how the professor belittled you to the point you had been on the verge of crying yourself to sleep.

yoosung listened closely, rubbing your back while you got it all out.

he decided that the date night could wait, and he would dedicate these nightly hours to comforting you.

he give you many reassurances throughout your time together.

he always validated your feelings.

he always looked at you with intense love and care.

he always told you how smart and stunning you are.

his actions made you cheer up a bit.

you were still on edge, but you knew it would get better eventually.

everything would turn out okay with this man by your side.

hyun ryu / zen:

you were only on the bus coming home, but your tears already started to flow.

the professor made a complete mockery out of you.

you felt hurt to your core.

he insulted everything about you, completely going off.

at first, you figured he had a bad day and was just finding someone to let it out on.

but as the insults kept spewing, they became incredibly more personal.

nothing was safe.

the way your nose crunched when you smiled was "ugly".

the sweet tone of your speaking was deemed "annoying".

the way your hair bounced when you walked was seen as "repulsive".

nobody had hurt you so much and your mind couldn't cope with it.

through silent tears on the bus, as you reached your stop you stopped them within an instant.

zen would be waiting for you at home.

the last thing you wanted to do was make him worried about you with the addition of his insanely busy day.

repressing the tears, you eventually made it to the front door of your now shared home.

the door sounded when you arrived, alerting zen as he went to meet you at the doorframe.

you pulled out your most convincing fake smile and greeted him.

but you could tell when the mix of confusion and concern flashed over his face.

apparently your eyes had given you away.

but you didn't remember them being puffy or red.

however, zen knows you like the back of his hand.

like the soulmate he was, he could read your soul through your eyes.

he embraced you and encouraged you to tell him what was wrong.

but you wouldn't budge.

he gently tried again, but to no avail.

lost on what to do, he embraced you again.

but this time, he wasn't letting go.

and that was enough to make the tears start pouring out.

you were both standing in silence.

the only sounds bouncing off the walls were those of your tearing cries.

once you had calmed down a bit, he calmly asked you what happened.

and when you explained, his body filled with rage.

who let the professor be so rude to you??

in true zen fashion, his first instinct was to reprimanded the teacher face to face.

the sound of your next cry made him rethink his protentional course of action.

you were right here in front of him, so broken and hurt.

you were his first priority, not mr. dumbfuck.

and out came the words that always made you feel so loved and protected.

he reminded you of your beauty and his love towards you.

he had seen you as a goddess for the time since he's met you.

your evening was very laidback after the ordeal.

tonight would be focused on you.

jaehee kang:

you had been sitting up at your computer with the event that tore you down so significantly in the back of your head.

you couldn't take it anymore.

how could a person be so rude because of a simple mistake?

however, you couldn't just cry right here right now.

your love was sitting beside you afterall.

so you ever so subtly left the room.

you felt so numb while walking to the only room the insured complete privacy in the apartment.

or so you thought.

closing the door behind you, you were met with the reflection of your face.

the one he had broke apart and shattered.

you started to cry uncontrollably.

you watched as your eyes turned visibly irritated, your mouth turned downwards ever so slightly.

you felt so numb inside, yet the gem-like tear that rolled down your cheek was a reminder of your living form.

the noise leaving your mouth wasn't loud.

but it wasn't quiet.

however, it was enough for jaehee to hear.

confused, she left her chair.

the sharp pain in her shoulder was a reminder for her to get up and stretch a bit.

following the tears, her feet met the bottom of the washroom door.

knocking softly, waiting for an answer.

yet nothing but the crying noises rang out.

so she tried again, calling your name in the softest tone she could produce.

you heard.

and you were now in a state of panic.

how would you explain this to her?

you didn't want to get her involved or worried over you.

but you knew you eventually had to come forward to her face to face.

hesitantly, you opened the door.

just a crack.

not enough to expose the entirety of your broken face, but enough to make subtle eye contact.

your efforts were short lived.

she took the door, moving it open to see you fully a few seconds later.

her first thought was to hug you, hence the tight embrace you quickly found yourself in.

you couldn't hold it back any longer.

so you remained in her arms crying for the next couple of minutes.

not long after, you started spilling out the entire story.

she was enraged alongside you.

but, being more rational, she knew there was nothing much she could do about it.

so she just listened and understood you.

she validated your emotions, making sure you knew you weren't going crazy and that it was okay to feel upset.

eventually, you find yourselves on the washroom floor.

sitting together, basking in each others love.

your worries were washed away by the woman you would continue to love as long as your life allowed you to.

jumin han:

your soon to be husband was waiting for your presence with a bottle of wine to share for the evening.

the only thing he was waiting to be finished was your class.

he felt at peace knowing his private driver would be picking you up safely.

what he hadn't expected however, was the message he was given by the driver.

on the way to jumin's penthouse, the driver had quickly sent jumin a text.

the text read "i'm texting to briefly let you aware of mc's status. mc appears to be healthy but in an emotional state. i suggest you have tissues prepared for her."

you, on the other hand, had been getting ready to hide your upset state.

you knew the man jumin was.

he would have the professor fired as soon as he heard of the disgusting things he had said to you.

you were never one to escalate things to that extent.

you would rather let both parties go on with their lives.

plus jumin's schedule was stressful enough already.

you didn't want to add onto that.

so with your lines to convince jumin that you were alright, you got out of the car, swiftly heading up to the penthouse.

he greeted you with a sad expression.

almost as if he was prepared to be upset with you.

you gave a confused look, trying to convince him that sadness wasn't even on your mind.

his hand reached out to you, containing a tissue.

you, still giving off the vibe of "i'm not upset", pushed his hand back gently.

now it was his turn to be confused.

only his was genuine.

the tears were building up in your eyes.

"fuck, not now" you thought.

his hand reached out again, questioning you.

you couldn't hold up anymore and gave up on hiding it.

taking the tissue, you started balling your eyes out.

rambling words about your feelings towards what the professor said.

how he had brought your very existence down to nothing but dirt.

jumin was listening, but planning what he could do to the professor at the same time.

this behaviour was simply unacceptable.

you couldn't convince him otherwise.

but in the meanwhile, he was determined to comfort the crying beauty in front of him.

much like everyone else, he reassured you of everything.

you would never hear the end of it from him when it came to how talented and gorgeous you were.

and it didn't matter what anyone else said.

as long as he was by your side, you would survive.

it would be okay.

the rest of the night consisted of the constant reminder of your worth.

from sun rise to sun set, he would never look at another woman the way he did you.

saeyoung choi:

in some ways, online classes were harder than in person.

sure, online you could get away with cheating easier (though you were never like that), you could take naps comfortably in between classes, you wouldn’t have to get dressed.

looking at it like that, it doesn’t seem so bad.

unfortunately that was not the case for you.

your professor used this as an opportunity to diminish you to your core.

he would send you private messages talking about how stupid you were, how you failed in every possible way.

even going as far as saying you were a waste of space in the classroom.

that someone much better could’ve taken your place.

and all of that made online learning incredibly hard for you.

you would participate in classes from the side of your bed.

saeyoung laying right besides you, listening in like the goof he is.

even going as far as to help you.

today though, the professor got extremely bold.

he had moved from sending private messages to spewing hatred in front of the entire class.

and saeyoung heard all of it.

he reached over to your laptop and exited out of the classroom.

he didn’t want to listen to you endure that any longer.

at first, it looked like his words didn’t bother you.

perhaps you were used to it at this point.

but once saeyoung asked if you were okay, you couldn’t control the tears starting to run down your face.

you were so tired of being treated like shit, and saeyoung completely understood.

he was baffled that a professor would say something so cruel out in the open.

you two laid there in silence, a peaceful silence.

you explained how this had been happening for a long time.

however, you just wanted to get over it.

you went on with your day, but saeyoung could tell that it still bothered you.

so he did what he does best.

with a little bit of this and a little bit of that, you meet a new professor the next day.

he announced how he was taking the place of the previous professor after he had lost his job.

you turned behind you with a shocked smile, and saw the man you loved smirking like a child.

god you loved him.

#mysticmessenger juminhan jumin mysmejumin #mysme headcanons #jaehee kang #hyun ryu #yoosung kim #saeyoung choi #mysme imagines

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sept-dix · 4 years ago

Text

en‐ as types of high school students

heeseung:

the popular guy

everyone knows him, everyone likes him, everyone wants to be him

literally friends with everyone somehow - he’ll be saying hi nonstop when he walks down the hallways between classes bc he knows everyone

the dance club president but also in the choir but also in the student council & also good at academics and everyone is like????? how?? does he do it?

has all these commitments that he excels in so you’d think he’s always hustling but he’s actually always napping during break time (& sometimes during class time but the teachers don’t bother bc he ends up acing the exams anyway)

“heeseung didn’t you sleep last night?”

“i slept 8 hours why?”

“what the fk”

everyone has a crush on him and he realises this so he politely tries to be nice to everyone who approaches him

one time that One Asshole in the class tried to talk shit about heeseung when he wasn’t there being all like “tbh i don’t even get why he’s so popular like he’s kinda weird sometimes” and everyone in the vicinity was ready to k word & that’s how you know he’s a real one

jay:

class clown

doesn’t even think he’s funny at first but he realises that everyone keeps laughing at everything he says/does so he just takes it and rolls w it

takes pride in his comedy

everyone’s always teasing him and asking him to shut up but no one means it,,, everyone rly just has a soft spot for him

always gets nominated by his classmates to represent the class for stupid things like an inter-class “who can eat the fire chicken noodles the fastest” competition

has never ever won any of these competitions but his classmates still make him go up for every single one & he never turns them down

extremely talkative. always talks to his friends during class & asks the teacher sooo many questions about the content

teachers act annoyed and ask him to stfu sometimes but they’re honestly endeared by how genuine he is w his questions

the nicest guy.... if he sees someone being mean to someone else he will a 100% interfere and try to help out

also good at academics bc he actually tries + volunteers himself to teach anyone who’s struggling

is actually the one everyone goes to when they need advice/are having a hard time bc they realise he’s so mature and genuine w everything

when it’s his birthday the whole class comes together to play a prank on him

jake:

not a single person in the school dislikes jake

he’s super innocent and sweet all the time and everyone’s lowkey protective of him

the type of person who always invites his friends over to his house to hang out after school

jokes around w his friends during class and gets told off by the teacher and gets sad

gets along w everyone like he’s never had an awkward social interaction

goes off to meet sunghoon from the class next door during lunch and everyone’s like??? how did jake even become friends w him

brings presents for everyone on his birthday <3

sunghoon:

professional athlete who honestly couldn’t give less of an f about school

sits at the back and dozes off half the time

sticks to his group of close knit friends most of the time and doesn’t rly initiate a lot of convo with the other kids but somehow ends up having a lot of friends bc he has this magical pull to him that makes everyone else approach him first

mysteriously disappears as soon as the bell rings he’s literally the first person out of the door

everyone has the image that he’s all quiet and shy but you walk past him w his group of friends one day and he’s being so noisy & you’re like ????

joins some random lowkey club like the library club or smth just bc it’s compulsory for everyone to join at least one and he wanted to do the one w the least commitment

does not give a single f about popularity but is somehow the most popular guy in the class

invites his class to his ice skating competition once and everyones like..... What The Heck.... so *this* is why he’s always napping during class........

everyone’s in love with him after that and who can blame them

sunoo:

class clown #2 but unlike jay no one ever teases sunoo

they all jst love him

everyone’s showering him w compliments 24/7

the girls would loooove him tbh like Finally A High School Male Who Is Not An Asshole

spends break time gossiping/eating/hanging out w them

if anyone dares say anything negative about sunoo his friends from his class will literally cut them

every tongue that raises against sunoo shall fall

joins the dance club and every time he performs his whole class is there to cheer for him

gets the most chocolate out of everyone during valentines day

if ever he’s sad all his friends would come together to do smth sweet for him bc that’s how much they adore him

jungwon:

popular guy #2

heeseung adores him and takes him under his wing although jungwon’s a couple years below him and the whole school adores this friendship

is the studious type, always listens during class + has his homework done and ready

unfair bc he’s lowkey a nerd but also cool + best bros w all the popular kids

hangs out exclusively w his Bros during break times

is in the school council

everytime a teacher needs help w something they look for him

everyone also has a crush on him but unlike heeseung he’s oblivious to it and never realises that someone is trying to flirt w him until his Bros are like “dude”

someone approaches him being all like “hey jungwonie can u help me out w my math homework” and he’s like yea sure and makes them take it out and work through it step by step and by the end of it the person’s like “,,,,,i was tryna get u to hang out w me after school but,,,, ok i guess”

gets extremely shy when he realises & everyone teases him for it

ni-ki:

is super lowkey usually, sits at the back and is just an average student

but on the days that the dance club has their showcase...... it’s a whole different story

the whole school gathers to watch ni-ki dance bc he’s just that good

literally he ascends to the status of a god or something and everyone from his class is like “??? how is this the same dude who was slacking at the back of our class”

everyone who walks past his classroom tries to take a peek in like is that the Rumoured Dance God himself sitting over there

everyone in the school knows him even if they don’t know him

a/n: ok i was jst randomly thinking about this the other day n decided to write it out bc it’s fun!

#i forgot how to make friends on here pls help me out lmao #enhypen #jake sim #jake shim #lee heeseung #heeseung #park sunghoon #sunghoon #yang jungwon #ni_ki #kim sunoo #jay #i-land

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matchasprouts · 3 years ago

Text

The Walls - Chapter 4

[ holy SHIT it took forever for me to finish this chapter but here it is! sorry for the wait y'all, i just moved into my dorm and my brain has been scrampled egg bc of it. anyway!!!! enjoy some more Felix brain <3 ]

First || Next || Previous || Last

Felix stayed in his room until he heard the shower turn on, followed by the attic door opening and the ladder coming down. The attic was never unlocked, not in all the time he had been there. So he opened his door and peeked out, unsurprised to find the hall empty but worried about the open attic.

Until he realized that this would be Greta’s punishment, and there was no way in hell he was going to hurt in trying to stop it.

He considered just closing his door and ignoring it, but he was too close to the attic. So, he instead went downstairs to the parlour and sat down at the piano. He wouldn’t play it- he didn’t want Greta to hear and come down, or for Malcolm to hear him when he got here- instead just waiting.

At some point, he became vaguely aware of the shuffling in the wall nearest to him, before it stopped relatively close to him. The thing probably wanted reassurance that he wouldn’t try to stop it. To some extent, this was a threat.

“I won’t do anything,” he promised, voice loud enough for it to hear but still soft enough that Greta couldn’t. The shower turned off as he turned his head to the wall. “You know me better than that. I don’t want to be punished alongside her.”

It seemed satisfied with that, giving him three gentle knocks on the wall and a boyish giggle. He hated the child voice it used, like it was mocking him. It sent uncomfortable shivers down his spine- he loathed being scared.

But he kept his promise. When he heard Greta call out for him upstairs, he stayed put. The closing of the attic wasn’t very loud, but he could faintly hear it, and Greta’s scream from fright. He still stayed put.

Six years. Six years without him breaking a rule or personally facing the thing’s wrath. There was no way in hell he would change that now, no matter how nice Greta seemed.

He turned to the covered window when he heard Malcolm’s car pull up. So, the thing locked her in the attic so she couldn’t go with him? That was the most extreme he’d seen from it thus far, the worst he’d seen it do was lock him in his own bedroom once when he’d talked about meeting a friend in town.

He’d honestly just thought it was a fright tactic at first, but this made sense. It would probably let her out in the morning.

…. He decided to sleep downstairs that night, only staying in the house because someone would need to wake up Brahms.

---

Felix ended up falling asleep on the couch that night, after listening for hours to Greta banging around in the attic and Malcolm continuously ringing the doorbell for a good fifteen to twenty minutes before finally leaving.

He was surprised enough when he woke up to the doll sitting right in front of him that he jolted up into a sitting position and grabbed the nearest weapon- a book. It took only half a second for him to realize it was just Brahms and let out a heavy sigh.

“Suppose you didn’t want to wait until I came and woke you up, huh?” he asked the doll, surprised to see that it was about an hour before he was supposed to be woken up. Whatever. He was probably just impatient.

Felix could accept that a little boy wouldn’t want to wait for his nanny to be let out of the attic, or for the groundskeeper to come wake him up, so he didn’t question it. Instead, he just picked the doll up and moved over into the kitchen to make breakfast.

He glanced at the door when Greta appeared downstairs, looking frazzled and panicked with her clothes messy and looking like they were thrown on in two seconds flat.

It locked her in still in the towel? He felt a little bad now, giving Greta a sympathetic look that immediately outed him as “in on” the plan.

“You knew!?” she snapped at him, and he was lucky he didn’t flinch. “And- and you just let it happen!? What’s wrong with you! I thought I was going to be stuck in there forever!! A whole fucking night, locked in that awful attic!”

Felix had tuned her out at that point, watching as she went off on him in a frenzied state. When she finally calmed down enough to fall quiet, he spoke up.

“You broke the rules, Greta,” he said, his voice much softer than it had been last night when he snapped at her. “I warned you. I told you that you would be punished. You were the one who chose not to listen.

Greta stared at him for a few moments, before replying in a shaky voice. “So you did nothing? You could have helped me, at least a little bit.”

Felix shook his head. As much as he loathed admitting it, he was terrified of the thing in the walls. He’d seen it leave an entire room trashed in two minutes flat, once found a dead rat hanging from the ceiling as a warning, and knew that it watched him at night while he slept.

It reminded him of his mother.

So, he stayed out of its way. And he would continue to do so. “You don’t understand. That thing… it’s not human, Greta. If it wanted me dead it could make that wish come true in an instant. I wouldn’t even see it coming.”

After standing there for a long, silent moment, Greta sat down at the dining room table, in front of the plate Felix had made for her. “So there’s nothing we can do…?” she asked, sounding broken and tired.

“Unfortunately,” Felix replied, deciding to forgo breakfast when Greta began to softly cry. “Just follow the rules, and you’ll be alright. It likes when you’re nice to Brahms- I would suggest treating him like a real child from now on. Like I do.”

He gave her one last look over before heading outside to get to work. As he grabbed his gloves, he really wished he hadn’t glanced at the hole in the wall.

Because he did not like the eye staring back at him.

---

After his encounter with the all-too human eye of the thing that lived in the Heelshire’s walls, Felix spent the whole rest of his day outside, even when there was no longer any gardening to be done.

When he was close enough to windows, he could see Greta carrying the doll around, taking care of him as she was supposed to. He supposed he was grateful for that, no longer having to take care of Brahms himself, but a little sad that she only stepped up out of fear.

He also, at some point, saw Malcolm pull up. He was likely here to check on Greta and see why she never showed up last night and, when he was in there for much longer than expected, he knew that Greta was telling him everything that happened.

And then the car left, and it was just the three of them again. He stayed out until the sun went down, only going inside the mansion when Greta called him for dinner. Even then, he still considered staying out for the rest of the night. Hell, he thought about going back to his cabin.

But then he remembered that Greta’s sudden change may not last, and he needed to be there if it didn’t. The Heelshire’s relied on him for that, and he couldn’t just let them down.

So he came inside and ate dinner with her, allowing silence to reign over them. They weren’t friends, they were never going to be friends, and while he was perfectly fine with it, he would admit that it was making things a little awkward.

He let her shower first, promising to “stand guard” outside of the bathroom when she practically begged him to, just to put her mind at ease. Apparently, she’d lost a dress and a necklace to the thing while she’d been showering the night before, and she didn’t want it coming in again.

When she was done, she thanked him for standing there, and he took his quick, scalding shower. He stayed in a little longer than usual, turning his skin a bit more red than he was used to.

Normally, Felix didn’t feel guilt. But Greta was nice enough, and Brahms liked her, so he genuinely felt bad for just letting her punishment happen. So, he stood there, under the water, burning.

Burning.

When he closed his eyes under the heated water, he saw flames in the darkness against his eyelids. Literal, red hot flames. Engulfing the building in front of him, killing any all living things that dared to be inside of it, screaming for the pain to stop-

He opened his eyes and shut off the water without a second thought. He stood there for a long few minutes, breathing heavily and trying to pull himself together.

Sights like that weren’t uncommon to Felix. He saw the burning house every time he closed his eyes. It haunted his nightmares, even his waking hours. It was an accident.

The other five were not.

Finally, he stepped out of the shower, dried off, and got dressed. Without realizing it, he went through his entire routine on autopilot, only snapping out of it when he was laying down in bed, and only because there was a note on his pillow.

An apology, from the thing it seemed. Telling him that it was sorry for scaring him earlier when he had seen it in the wall.

The gesture was sweet, and something Felix was used to, but now it made him uncomfortable. Still, not wanting to anger it, he added it to the drawer where he kept all the notes he received from it.

And then he went to bed, passing out from the sheer exhaustion he’d gained from working all day without a break. And since he was out so fast, he didn’t see it.

He didn’t see the tall, muscular figure that slowly and quietly came out of his closet, from the opening in the wall inside of it. It made its way over to him, the light just barely illuminating it’s porcelain white mask.

It tilted its head at the sight of him, sprawled out on his back. He didn’t usually sleep this way, but it chalked it up to exhaustion.

Most nights, it would spend about twenty minutes to an hour watching Felix as he slept. It was when he looked the most peaceful, and it liked to see him when he wasn’t all tense. Sure, it was fun to watch his muscles bunch up in anger, or fear, but this was unparalleled.

Slowly it reached out to him, brushing a strand of short hair out of his face. He didn’t react much, other than his face scrunching up for a second and relaxing again. It made it smile under the mask.

Felix was a very dear friend to the thing in the walls, having watched him work for the Heelshires day in and day out for six years, never once breaking a single rule. It sometimes wondered if he had any friends outside of the Heelshire family, due to the lack of visits, and felt rather… special that he didn’t.

It was his only friend, and it was the only friend he would ever need.

It watched him for a little while longer, entranced by the serene look on his face, before hearing Greta outside the door telling Brahms that it was time for bed. Before leaving, it leaned down and pressed a gentle, masked kiss to Felix’s forehead.

And then it was gone, leaving no trace of its presence, as if it never existed, leaving his dear friend to his fiery nightmares.

#story tag: the walls #s/i: felix shaw #brahms heelshire #self ship fic #self shipping #romantic: 🎭👁#self insert #scrap.writing #scrap.ships #chapter 4

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scandeniall · 5 years ago

Text

actually, i’m dating iwa

iwazumi x reader, but mostly (?) platonic!Oikawa x reader

i just really love college au’s and tried to combine with youtuber!au. Also this is my first time writing for a character other than Kuroo and my 3rd time ever writing hq so yeah this probably fucking sucks

-----.

“Filming a video with the bestie. Send us questions,” you put up a peace sign not even looking up from your phone as oikawa flashed his camera at you for his Instagram story. You’d done a similar post hours ago for your own followers supposed to have filmed hours ago. A head plopping itself caused you to quickly finish your text before tossing your phone on the table in front of you. “Ugh where’s Iwa with the pizza. I’m starving,” the brunette groaned from beside you after you tried pushing his head off of you to which he just continued to put more of his weight on you. “Move your big ass head Oikawa,” you cried out still trying to push the man child off of you. “No because you never spend time with me anymore now that you’re-“ he dramatically huffed “Dude I’m literally with you everyday” It was true. The two of you had been practically inseparable for the past few years. Meeting at summer orientation right before both your first year of college, he noticed you doing the same thing he was. Vlogging, and thus the start of a beautiful friendship. Now in your last year you two have practically grown your social media together, collaborating with him more than you had anyone else (same for him). Hell, you two even lived together for a year before you decided you couldn’t take anymore of the asshole both never cooking and using up all the hot water with his long ass showers. “First of all it’s more like every other day. Second of all where is your stupid boyfriend? The sun is gonna go down before he gets back here. You know i hate filming with ring lights”

You couldn’t help but laugh at him referring to his best friend as “your stupid boyfriend,” knowing if Iwa heard that Oikawa would be the first one to start running to avoid a hit. The two of you had met through Oikawa. It was midway through freshman year, Oikawa had invited you to his dorm for a study session for the gen ed class you two shared. He failed to mention that his roommate was there taking a nap, and that your loud ass drum beat knocking woke him up. You were absolutely mortified and continued to apologize, literally wanting to kill Oikawa. That was one thing you two had in common and that night not only did he have a grouchy sleep deprived roommate, but an annoyed you to deal with as well. You heard a slight struggle at the door before raining your neck to see that Iwaizumi had managed to make it in, holding pizza and other bags. “Go help Iwa put the stuff down,” you scolded your friend as he watched with amusement as the man struggled balancing the pizza boxes with one hand and the plastic store bags with the other. Once seeing Oikawa just shrug and rest back against the couch saying something about ‘being too hungry to move, before picking up his phone and typing away’ You huffed and got up yourself. Your boyfriend shot you a grateful smile as you took the pizza from him so that he was able to place the bags down safely. “Hey Haji- what's all this. Thought you were going to get pizza,” you said softly leaning against the counter as he began to empty bags. “Just a few snacks for you guys. Thought you two could make the video a mukbang. Although I’m not sure why I did, considering Shittykawa is here to eat some.” Your heart swelled as you both ignored your whiny friend across the room. You just wanted to hug your boyfriend and so you did. Before you could place your lips against his, said whiny friend had gotten his ass off the couch. “Can you two not fuck on my kitchen counter,” as he maneuvered around the tiny kitchen to start getting his food together. “Pretty sure I live here too,” your boyfriend scowled pressing a quick kiss to your temple before letting go of your waist and going to set up the camera for yours and Oikawa’s video. “Also, who’s to say we haven’t already,” you decided to tease, pushing past Oikawa lightly bumping into him. “Remind me to bleach every surface in here later on. Nasty bitches,” “Love you too Tōru” “How is it not living together anymore?” you read out. Already smiling at a chance to drag oikawa. “Fucking amazing! I get to come home to my food not eaten and I actually can get hot water when I’m trying to shower. I-“ “Oh you actually shower? Could’ve fooled me,” “Says the man who always used my expensive body wash,” you retort back looking off camera to pout at Iwaizumi laughing at the two of you. To the camera it would just look like you were refusing to look at Oikawa, not making puppy-dog eyes at your boyfriend. “Yeah because you don’t. Stinky” --- “What’s your favorite thing to do together? “Nothing because I hate this bitch-“ you deadpanned. The room going quiet before you, Oikawa and off camera Iwaizumi started laughing. “I’m kidding I promise. But I’m gonna let Oikawa answer this because he definitely knows what I’d say.” “It’s because we’re the same person. Twin-telepathy. But I’d have to say our monthly road trips with Kuroo and Bokuto. It’s the best time to unwind with my best friends and it’s always fun finding new places and we love taking you guys along with us. Special shoutout to the man, Iwa who gets all of the b-roll and actually records the chaos. Iwa! Speaking of him- he’s actually home for once and is watching us film. Aren’t we pretty,” you watched your best friend recount laughing when Iwaizumi says loud enough for the camera to hear that he isn’t. “Come say hi to the video,” Oikawa begged, deciding to record Iwaizumi on his phone to insert in later. “Oi! Get that camera off of me Shittykawa”

----

“Alright guys. We’re gonna do one last question. Tōru, take it away,” you smirked already knowing the question he was gonna pick. “Are you and (Y/N) dating?,” Oikawa read out, picking up his bottle of beer to take a swig while looking at you with a teasing smile on his lips. “Whew that’s an interesting question. You wanna take that one (Y/N)?” For years the two of you never answered that question. At one point it was genuinely because you two had a crush on one another and while you never became more than just friends, there had been a thing there. After that passed you two just always played off one another for videos, knowing people loved it. Once you and Iwaizumi started dating the more flirty actions had stopped, but that still never stopped people from assuming. You two were almost always with one another, after all. You had been sharing relationship memes on twitter and even let it slip once that you had a boyfriend on Snapchat(although the audio was a little hard to hear as you’d said something like “i can’t find my boyfriend,” in a loud bar. And, to top it off you had recently posted a video of you getting ready for a date night. To anyone that kept up with you all the signs pointed to oikawa However, no one ever paid attention to how in the background of Kuroo’s vlogs how you and Iwaizumi always walked a little slower behind everyone else. No one thought anything during the last vlog with Bokuto when he captured you and Iwaizumi in the middle of the freezer aisle joking about which ice cream was best for root beer floats. Or how you and Iwaizumi would always be standing closer than you should in Oikawa's bar night videos. Of course Iwa’s hand resting on your lower back, occasionally slipping lower had never been caught on grainy phone cameras. “Well,” you took a deep breath. The three of you knew you were going to announce your relationship today but for some reason you were still nervous. Your relationship was one of the only things about your life you didn’t plaster on the internet. Iwa was definitely not one to be all on the internet, despite all of his friends being on there in the open. Not only that, but you were concerned about comments saying you’d been using Oikawa for views or leading him on or any of the crazy shit people come up with. You were pulled out of your thoughts when Oikawa lightly punched your arm offering you a comforting smile. “First of all, no. We aren’t dating-“ you started off. “Don’t forget to add it that you had a crush on me a few years ago” “It was mutual you dumbass,” you huffed. Loosening up. Knowing this half of the video was going on your channel you spoke up again. “As I said. Me and this dumbass are not dating. We’re-“ you pretending to gag, “genuinely best friends. The love I have for Tōru is absolutely not romantic. However I am in a relationship and you can say that I met him through the idiot next to me.” “Babe you wanna come over here and officially be introduced as my boyfriend to the internet,” you called out. Oikawa mocking you “Yeah babe. Come in for a second.” Before you could even retort you notice your boyfriend signal to you and ducked as you saw a couch pillow fly towards the side of Oikawa’s head. “OW! Iwa that hurt. And stop laughing at my pain (Y/N),” Oikawa cried out. Ignoring your friend you looked up to Iwaizumi leaning over the edge of the couch in the camera's frame, lips hovering next to your ear. “You did it. Now people can stop shipping you with him.” Iwaizumi places two kisses on you for the camera. One on your cheek, the other on the side of your neck before looking up. “Hey,” and with that he was up and out of frame. “You guys see how he didn’t even acknowledge me. Just (Y/N). So rude” “Shut up Oikawa,” you and Iwaizumi said at the same time. Right before the camera cut off i stopped here bc idk what i was even doing because this turned out nothing like my initial idea. idk request if you want and i might give it a try. Also adding pt 3 to college!kuroo soon.

will be cross-posted on ao3

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #iwaizumi x reader #oikawa x reader #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #iwaizumi imagine #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu scenarios

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tomspancakes · 5 years ago

Text

This Way: Part 2

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress! reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: none

Summary: Yours and Tom’s past come in bringing a bit of tension.

Part 1

A/N: AHH I’m so glad people liked part 1! I don’t have a set schedule for posting bc I still have school atm, but I’m gonna try to stay consistent, cause writing this is so fun :))) If you have any suggestions of improvement for my writing or if you’re enjoying this please lmk! If you want to be added to the tag list don’t hesitate to ask! Enjoy Part 2 <3

“Harry, oh my god that was so awkward. I hated that, it will replay in my head for the next week.” You groaned flopping on his bed. “I am a bad bitch I’m fine, I’m fine” you reminded yourself.

He laughed at you and sat next to you, “You are a bad bitch. And yes that was painfully awkward, I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks for pulling me away though. Not gonna lie, I felt like Allana was plotting something in her head when she saw me. Did you get any vibe that she didn’t seem happy?” You asked, nervous.

“Eh wouldn’t be surprised if she wasn’t happy, she bosses Tom around. She tried to use me as her photographer once, but I was busy and couldn’t, but she somehow made Tom clear my schedule so that I could take pictures of her. I do not trust her in all honesty, so her plotting something wouldn’t be new..” You gasped at the story.

“Dang I will not get in her way then…” Harry laughed and asked, “What do you feel like eating tonight, love?”

“Uhmmm, oh I haven’t had nandos since the last time I was here.” You said and he nodded.

After the Nandos was dropped off at the house you all gathered around the table.

“I think I can make food like Nandos.” Harrison said and everyone started laughing, “Hey I seriously think I can. Just watch.”

“I think you can too, Harrison, I’ll be your sous chef if you want.” He smiled at your encouragement and stuck his tongue out at everyone else and Allana rolled her eyes. Oof. “Tommy, do you have spinach? I have a photoshoot tomorrow because one of the models cancelled. I can’t eat the side dishes. I’ll make myself a salad or something.” Allana said.

Harry scoffed and joked, “We don’t have rabbit food here, love.” Tuwaine and Harrison laughed, but you felt bad they were ganging up on her.

“Hey don’t make fun of her. It’s harder for us girls to stay fit whereas you boys can eat like shit and still be fit.” You said to the boys and Allana looked at you a bit surprised and pleased, “Allana, I think I saw some lettuce in the fridge. I can go grab it for you and a bowl. Gotta start getting used to the things around here anyway.” You smiled at her.

Her expression went back to being unimpressed, “Uhm no thanks. I’ll just go eat at home, I have to leave in a bit anyway.” She said and pushed the utensils away.

“Darling, you need to eat a little something, you haven’t eaten one thing since you’ve gotten here.” Tom said. Your heart clenched a bit when he called her darling.

“Tommy, god, I said I’d eat later. Don’t you ever listen?” She said everyone stared in silence until Harrison broke it, “Someone’s a little hangry…”

“Harrison shut up!” Tom said snapping his head toward Haz.

Allana was turning red, “That’s it! I’m tired of your friends treating me like this. I’m leaving, Tommy, will you come with me?” Tom got up and glared at Harrison as he helped Allana out.

“As if she doesn’t treat us badly.” Tuwaine said, rolling his eyes, Harry and Harrison nodding in response.

“Ok, but I still felt bad for her. That was a little uncalled for guys.” You said continuing to eat.

“Y/n, she literally shot you down when you were trying to be helpful.” Harrison stated.

“Ok true, but I didn’t mind, she seemed to mind when you all ganged up on her.” The boys nodded.

“Not even 3 hours here and you’re already being our mother.” Harry said laughing.

“Oh shut up, you boys love me. I’m just using the bad bitch energy Harry gave me earlier.” You all laughed.

After dinner you and the boys watched funny videos on Harry’s laptop and then headed your separate ways to go to sleep. You did your night routine and pulled on pj shorts and tank top since the boys put the heater on.

You stirred in bed trying to sleep, but the jet lag got the best of you and you decided to put your clothes in the drawers and closet. Before starting to clean you decided to grab a snack and water.

While waiting for the popcorn to finish popping in the microwave you heard the front door unlock and a tired looking Tom walked in.

“Tom? Oh my god why’re you getting home now it’s 2 am, you should’ve stayed with Allana. It’s so late!”

“Oh, y/n? And we were talking then she kicked me out, something about being alone in bed is better for her aura the night before a photoshoot. Why’re you up?” Tom stammered and you scoffed at the story.

“Jet lag. I decided to organize my room, but also wanted a snack.” He nodded sitting in front of you at the counter, “Why don’t you go to sleep now you look like shit.” You joked. He put his hand over his heart pretending to be hurt.

“Tsss ouch, y/n, but I kinda wanted to talk to you. You know, catch up.” He said looking at you with his head resting on his hand now. Your heart sped up and sighed trying to stay calm.

“Alright, what do you wanna know?” You pulled the popcorn out of the microwave and set it between you and Tom. He started eating with you.

“How’re you and Mr. Gavin Leatherwood?” His question surprised you because one; that was a very straightforward question and two; you never confirmed anything/ went public with Gavin except for paps photos of you two holding hands and only Zendaya, your family, and Harry knew and swore not to tell Tom.

“Uhm we mutually broke up two weeks ago...” You said looking up at Tom fiddling with your fingers. Tom’s eyes widened a bit and he tried to hide his joy,

“Oh I’m sorry about that y/n.” he said genuinely, “I always thought there was something off about him.” You rolled your eyes getting annoyed thinking back to the past,

“Tom nothing was wrong with him. Like I said it was a mutual break up. He’s a sweet guy, you just never gave him a chance.” You rolled your eyes. He put his arms up in defense,

“Sorry, love, chill. I was trying to make you feel better by implying you deserved better.” You scoffed knowing he was only being half truthful.

“Mhm sure, we both know that you just hated him.” Tom looked at the bowl of popcorn in defeat.

“Thanks for sticking up for Allana by the way. I know she doesn’t seem like the nicest person at first, but when you get to know her she’s a sweetheart.”

“Oh ya I bet.” You joked.

“What? ‘Not gonna give her a chance’, love?” He mocked your American accent and put air quotes in when he said that. You gave him a displeased look,

“Really, Tom? Really? Are seriously going to say that to me when you never stood up for Gavin and was actually the meanest to him?”

“Oh my god,” he groaned, “it was a joke, love. I see you still get butt hurt easily.” He said putting his head in his hands. That was it,

“Ok good catching up with you Tom. Good night, asshole.” You took the popcorn and water to your room.

Tom sat there with his eyes never leaving your beautiful figure. He groaned, beating himself up mentally for fucking things up and for checking you out.

You woke up around 7 a.m. groaning because jet lag got to you really bad. You changed into leggings and a crop top ready to go on a light jog knowing you wouldn’t go back to sleep.

When you walked down you saw that Tom fell asleep on the couch. Your heart melted at the sight, but you tried to ignore how cute and cuddly he looked. You were about to walk out, but gave in and decided to put a blanket over Tom.

“Oh mornin’ y/n, you’re up early,” You heard Harrison as he walked down in shorts and a tshit-shirt, “Going on a run too?”

“Yup, light one though. I’ve got a lot of work to do today.” You said putting your hair up in a ponytail.

“Sick, I’ll run with you for a bit then.” You smiled and waited outside for him.

When you started running it was a little silent until he spoke, “So did you put that blanket over Tom?”

“Maybe” you chuckled a bit, it was quiet again.

“Fuck it I’m just gonna say it,” you raised your eyebrow at him, “I shouldn’t be saying thihs, but he hasn’t gotten over you. I think Allana is here just to keep him on his toes. And plus he-”

“Sorry, Harrison, can we not talk about this now? I’m still trying to forget about my past with him since I’m living in his house and all.” You said breathing hard.

“You know you don’t have to do that. As his best friend I know he’d hate for you to pretend like nothing ever happened between you two.”

“Alright then, but if something bad happens because of past events I’m blaming you.” You said jokingly and Harrison laughed, “So what are all the things you need to catch me up on, I’ll let you talk now, I already can’t breathe.” Harrison laughed and started updating you on everything.

“Wait are you serious? That sounds terrible.” You said, Harrison was telling you how he face planted when he was trying to impress a girl.

“Oh my god it was so embarrassing, she was so quiet when she helped me up and took her number out of my phone!” You started dying of laughter.

“I’m so sorry that’s so sad. I can’t help, but to laugh though. She’s missing out though you’re a good looking guy.” He turned red with embarrassment.

“Aw thanks y/n. Also I can’t believe you ended up running the whole time with me.” You shrugged like it was nothing, but your legs were actually aching. You two stepped into the house to the smell of bacon.

“Oh hell yeah... wait is that Tom cooking?” Harrison asked, very surprised.

“Yes, I can cook you div.” Tom said.

You noticed he changed into sweats and he was shirtless.

“Bro the last time you cooked was when-”

Tom turned surprised to see you up, you stared at him a bit too long. He cut Haz off before he can spill anymore beans,

“Morning, love, like what you see?” You scoffed,

“Actually no, just waiting for you to burn your nipples or something since your frying bacon without a shirt.” You went to pour a glass of water and as if on cue Tom yelped in pain.

“Fuck, I burned myself.” Tom hissed and you were gonna laugh at him until you saw his side.

“Oh my god Tom! What the hell how’d you manage to burn your side?” You rushed to his side with an ice pack in a dish towel.

“Haha Tom I thought you said you could cook!” Harrison said dying of laughter.

“Harrison can you go get toothpaste?”

“What the fuck toothpaste?” Harrison and Tom asked at the same time.

“Yes, trust me.” With that Harrison scurried off to get toothpaste.

“Told you being shirtless was a bad idea.” You scolded him.

“You liked it though, don’t deny it,” you pressed the ice pack to his side and he winced, “ouch, love, I was joking.” You giggled a bit at his reaction,

“How hard is it to find toothpaste? Harrison where are you?” You yelled. You looked back at Tom, seemed like something was on his mind.

“You uh look good, y/n.” He stammered, your face heating up more and your heartbeat quickening,

“Tom don’t.”

“What I can’t say my friend looks good? You told Harrison he’s good looking.” You raised your brow. Was he jealous? How the hell did he hear that from inside?

“You’re something else, Holland. Plus you have a girlfriend, don’t think she’d like to hear you say that. Especially when I’m your ex.” For some reason it pained both of you when you said that.

You sat across from him still waiting for Harrison. Tom nudged your foot with his and said, “Y/n, I wanted to say I was sorry about last night. I was tired and being a complete div.”

You looked up at him, “It’s alright, sorry for overreacting and walking out.”

“No no you had every right to.” He sighed and was about to continue, but Haz ran in,

“I got the toothpaste!” Harrison said breathless.

“Why the hell did you take so long?” You asked as Harrison handed you the tube and winked at Tom, he rolled his eyes then face palmed.

“Oh my god, Harrison.” Tom groaned. You caught on real quick, Harrison was giving you two alone time.

“You’re not slick at all Osterfield, you literally suck.” You said as he laughed.

You removed the ice pack from Tom’s side, “Alright, Tom, this is gonna sting a bit.” You warned and spread the paste on his burn he groaned in pain.

“Whoa, Harry cover your innocent eyes!” Tuwaine exclaimed covering his face when he and Harry walked in.

“Really guys having sex in the kitchen?” Harry said.

“Oh shut up you dickheads. I burnt myself and y/n is helping me out.” Tom said, still moaning.

“Tom you’re such a baby. Harry we’re no longer best friends anymore.” You stated. Harry laughed as you rolled your eyes.

“Harrison here to save the day with better bacon than Tom’s bacon!” Harrison sang. Tom slapped Harrison’s leg. You laughed excited for how the next few months would turn out because of how eventful this morning already was.

After a very crazy morning and a facetime meeting with your manager you had to go to the table read for the movie you were shooting. Your phone began to ring, it was Harry.

“Hello?”

“Hey, y/n, I’m really sorry Sam and I are still filming right now. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to pick you up in time to drop you off at your table read. Can you have one of the boys at home take you?” You began to stress a bit, but you knew that Harry was working on something really important to him.

“Yes of course. Let me know how filming goes later!”

“Thanks so much for understanding. I’ll tell you everything when I pick you up for dinner with my family! Bye, love.” You said goodbye and hung up, also completely forgetting about dinner with the Hollands tonight.

You walked to Harrison’s room and asked, “Hey are you gonna be busy in like the next hour or so?”

“Sorry, y/n, I’m about to meet up with some friends for lunch. What’d you need?” He asked frantically pacing looking for something.

“Oh, Harry can’t take me to my tableread anymore, I need a ride.”

“Hmm, oh found it!” Harrison pulled out a watch from his drawer, “Well Tuwaine is leaving with me, so I’m afraid your only options are Tom or the tube.”

“Really Harrison?” you groaned and he put his hands up in defense, “Ok have fun at lunch.”

You walked over to Tom’s room to see it empty, “He’s outside!” Tuwaine yelled from across Tom’s room. You thanked him and rushed outside to see Tom still shirtless. He was doing push-ups and the toothpaste looked glittery on his right side in the sunlight. His triceps and biceps enlarged every time he pushed his body up.

“You just can’t keep your eyes off me can you, y/n?” He said grunting while finishing his last few reps. You were at a loss for words because he did look really hot at the moment. You blushed and fumbled with your words,

“Oh uh sorry,” He turned and smirked at you, “I need another favor, Harry can’t take me to the tableread and Harrison and Tuwaine are going out for lunch.” He began walking closer to you making your heart skip a beat. What the hell was he doing? “I uh would take myself, but I’ve never driven here before and-” He was inches away from you he reached out and grabbed your shoulder chuckling,

“Alright alright, shut up I’ll take you.” You stared into each other's eyes not breaking eye contact and he reached over to slide the door open wider and he walked past you. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding and rolled your eyes, you can’t let him get to you, he has a girlfriend! “We need to go in 45 minutes, thanks, Tom!” you yelled and he held a thumbs up.

“Z, I swear I cannot live in this house. Tom is acting like he’s some fuck boy and I swear he really is trying to pull something and he has a girlfriend! Did you know that?” You were rambling

“Uhmmm maybe…” She said awkwardly.

“Z! What the hell? Both you and Harry didn’t tell me.”

“What? Didn't think you’d care, cause you’re a ‘badddd bitchhh’.” You laughed at her mocking you.

“Fine, you and Harry said the exact same thing, weird… anyways what the hell do I do?” You said with your phone between your shoulder and your ear as you looked through your closet for something decent to wear at the Holland house.

“Well, I think you should just focus on what you're doing right now and focus on your growth. Sis, you just broke up with someone, be free for now. It’s time to focus on you and your work.” Zendaya was right, you needed some time to self evaluate and grow, “But also maybe look super hot tonight at the dinner, you know, take his breath away.” She started laughing.

“Z, no! You just said not to worry about boys and he has a girlfriend…”

“But…” she said, waiting for you to carry on.

“But… ok I’ll dress cute, it’s always fun doing that.” You both laughed and she told you what to wear.

“Ok I’m gonna get ready for the tableread, I’ll text you. Love ya!” You said and she said it back and you guys hung up.

“Y/n can we actually leave in 5 minutes? I want to grab lunch, my treat!” Tom said from down the hall.

“Yeah sure.” You grabbed your purse and a bag with extra clothes. You walked out and ran into Tom with a thump he held your shoulders keeping you steady.

“Oops sorry, love. Was just going to tell you to not forget there’s dinner with my family tonight.”

“Yep, got the extra clothes in here.” You said holding up the bag to show him, he smiled and took his hands off your shoulders to take the bag from you and put it over his shoulder, “I could’ve carried it but thanks, bud.” You patted his shoulder and walked off. Tom’s heart dropped when you called him, “bud.”

Tom pulled up to a small cafe that seemed oddly familiar. As soon as he opened the door for you you remembered.

Tom brought back a tray with two burgers, fries, and waters.

“This place has the best burgers in town. Closest thing we have to in-n-out burgers.” he said handing you the second tray. You told Tom you were starting to feel homesick and said he might know how to cheer you up. You smiled taking a huge bite into the burger, Tom looked at you waiting for your reaction,

“Oh my god. Absolutely amazing!” Your eyes lit up and Tom’s heart jolted at the joy on your face. He continued to watch you eat the burger that was somewhat making you less homesick, “Hey, Holland, it’s rude to stare. Eat your burger before I eat it.” You joked and he laughed while taking a bite. His heart began to race as he debated whether or not he should tell you how he feels, then he thought ‘fuck it’.

“Y/n, darling?” You hummed in response.

Here goes nothing, “I like you, y/n. I have for a while now.”

Your thoughts went back to what Zendaya was saying, “don’t worry about boys right now.” You took a deep breath and moved up in the line with Tom. “Tom is that you?” Someone asked from behind the counter.

“Oh, Ms. Sheila! It’s lovely seeing you again.” He said warmly and she came over to give him a hug.

“It’s been so long, and I see you’ve brought this lovely girl back. Is she your girlfriend now?” You widen your eyes and blush.

“Oh my uh no no. We’re just friends, Ms. Sheila.”

“Isn’t this the girl you confessed your feelings to, dear? Then you never came back after that, well only once and that was still ages ago.”

“Oh, that was a while ago Ms. Sheila. Tom and I are just friends now.” You said before Tom.

“Oh well that’s a shame you two would make a lovely couple. Anywho what can I get for you two today?” She asked as you followed her to her side of the counter.

“Two of the usuals please.” Tom asked. She nodded and brought the order out within 5 minutes.

“Now, Tom, I hope you come back more often. Your brothers still come in every now and then.” Tom smiled and promised Ms. Sheila that he’d come back more.

“How’d she know what your usual is if you haven’t been here in so long?” You asked as you both walked to a booth.

“I’d come here to get breakfast with my family on Saturdays and would usually hang out here with my mates after school. This place is really special to me, I’ve made a lot of memories here.” He said picking at his fries, only making it more obvious what memory he was thinking about. You two ate in silence for a while not knowing what to say because of what went down the last time you were both here.

“Alright, ready to go to set, love?” He asked, you nodded as you finished your last bit of the burger and he ate the last of your fries. You and Tom said goodbye to Ms. Sheila and said you’d come back again soon.

“Thanks, Tom, I owe you big time.” You said looking at him with a smile.

“No problem, but what for?” He asked, glancing at you then back at the road.

“For the meal, taking me to set, and letting me stay at your lovely house.”

“Oh it’s no big deal. You helped me heal my burn,” he paused and cleared his throat, “Uhm b-besides, Harry literally begged me to let you stay, and I’ll be gone next week to film Uncharted. So I’ll uh be out of your hair” He joked and your heart dropped. Harry told you Tom is the one that suggested you stay at their house. Now you sat there confused about who to believe. Regardless you were definitely going to have a chat with Harry about all of this.

Tag list: @averyfosterthoughts @thollandx @mrsjeffwittek @panicattheeverywherekid @racewife2004 @greatpizzascissorstaco @witchything @wheelertozier @runway-to-my-aid

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland series #tom holland x famous! reader #tom holland x actress! reader #tom holland x actor! reader #tom holland angst #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fandom

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dreamiesdotcom · 4 years ago

Text

carpe diem | n.jm

summary: You both are the only people in the world, and it is be true; maybe it is. Maybe it isn't — maybe you don't need it to be. It feels real, so it is real, and even if you are lying to yourself as you say it, nobody has to know. Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Make the most out of the present moment. Trust the angel to say to you the filthiest of lies he's held on his tongue. Fall in love with Na Jaemin.

word count: 2689

a/n: yo :') me has been inactive but this has been requested based on this and I always thought that this blurb is too vague to understand, so here I thought 'why not?' because, you know, yOu gOtTa sEiZe tHe oPpuRtunIty (to procrastinate) (really tho) (i wrote this in one sitting but only bc i procrastinated it for a day and five hours)

Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Make the most out of the present moment. Sit inside your local library as soon as it opens, don't leave your favorite cafe until it closes at noon. Read aloud poetry, write excerpts on tissues, leave it for another person to see. Fold paper stars. Hang neon moons. Run barefooted on forests or just around your room, stargaze or just look up the sky. Wear your heart on your sleeve. Have your heart broken. Be completely in love with your best friend.

To be at the brink of sleep is the saddest and happiest feeling you can feel when it's late-night; to know that you're finally going to be able to rest, to remember why it is that you struggle to do so anyway. The clock glares 3:34 a.m and it's the time where your demons ring the loudest, sharp murmurs drowned by muffled sobs. Your phone jolts you awake when it vibrates.

From: Jaem ^^

You up?

It should annoy you, really, but it doesn't. By the time you're done typing, you're already reaching out for your jacket and your purse.

To: Jaem ^^

I don't quite seem to know... am I?

It's a numb feeling that you get when you meet him outside. Jaemin looks wonderful even in his hoodie, his hair a mess he didn't bother fixing. He's beautiful, and it's tragic because you just want him to leave. That's all you can think of when he smiles and cups your cheeks, "I can't sleep. Stay up with me?"

When he stares at you like that, he sees the answers he wants but he remains trying to look unassuming — an image of pure, honest, and genuine innocence; a lie he often makes. You close your eyes to hide, soaking up the lovely feeling of being able to breathe; Are you underwater? Are you jumping along with blue skies? Are you in Neverland? You aren't really sure— you couldn't care less that you're uncertain which and where to compare this feeling to. His gaze softens, "You are so, so pretty. Can I kiss you?"

He traces his thumbs against your cheeks, and it urges you to look and see but you're so afraid of what you'd find behind his mask. It doesn't matter anyway, not when right now, it's only Jaemin and you existing. All you could think of is that if you try hard enough, if you imagine real hard enough, it will be true. That you could live in that thought — you both are the only people in the world, and it will be true.

Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't — maybe you don't need it to be. It feels real, so it is real, and even if you are lying to yourself as you say it, nobody has to know. Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Make the most out of the present moment. Trust the angel to say to you the filthiest of lies he's held on his tongue.

"Of course," you would have almost begged had he not asked. "Of course you can."

When you can’t let yourself fall but you do anyway, when you can't admit to wanting someone fully, when you're three steps away from safety so you build walls to guard you — when you aren't brave enough to dream, when you pretend not to yearn, when you end up wanting less, what you do is lie. You lie. You lie although wanting less hurts, and wanting less is unstable, and wanting less just makes you want to want more.

You lie.

"I have never been," he gasps and then smiles as he yet again presses a warming kiss against your lips, "so desperately in love."

You lie when you don't dare want — at least, that's what Jaemin does. It's okay, though; it is, because you will always allow him. Because you will always let him. Because you can never deny him. Because you will always want what he wants, too. You ignore the bile coating your mouth and head home with cold fingers.

###

Is love even ever sane? When you think about it, nothing really is. Rewrite that: is love even ever safe?

Jaemin has gravity, and all it does is keep you from running. You try to walk away to save yourself but you can't; you try to show him how cold your heart can get but the ice melts when his fingers run down your spine. His eyes glint in the dark. Unfold for me, it seemed to say, the taste is bitter but chase it. Chase it anyway. And you do. You chase it.

Perhaps it's not love. Perhaps it's just you. Whatever the case, all of it boils down to one conclusion: you're in danger.

"Jaemin?" You call, the both of you lost somewhere in the middle of highs and lows of sharing a deep, passionate, and confusing kiss. You smile sweetly and cup his cheeks when he responds with a smile just as saccharine, and you whisper, "I hope you think of me."

He makes a confused but endeared sound, and you laugh a little.

"I hope you think of me all the time and it fucks you up."

Somehow that makes him want to kiss you more, and who are you to deny him and how are you going to do that when he's on it now and it's all you ever wanted? Chase it. Chase it. Chase his lips when it leaves yours because you are his hostage but he is trapped. Chase his lips because this might be the last time and all you want is to be his ghost, to be the name he calls for even when he's with someone else, to be the only one he feels even when others touch him. Chase his lips until he puts pressure on your waist so that he could go back to the shore, breathe a fresh set of air.

Jaemin runs a hand through his hair, catching his lips between his teeth as he prepares himself for sincerity; it seemed like a lie, but it doesn't go away long enough that you know it's true when he nods — "You fuck me up all the time."

###

"It's two a.m and I'm on my fourth coffee because, you know, Carpe Diem!"

You grimace, "Stop using Carpe Diem to excuse your stupidity."

Jaemin doesn't laugh, but he flashes that half-smile he knows drives you wild. The cafe is quiet as it holds no one but the two of you, the barista and the student at the counter — the sound of coffee brewing fills the void of your silence, but it's quickly muffled out by Jaemin's sudden chuckle.

"Might mess around and kiss you." He rests his chin on both his palms, caught in a reverie and actually thinking about it. He sighs dreamily, "The ultimate Carpe Diem."

"Dumbass." He laughs more at your bemused tone, but you don't. It's not funny. "What, you think I'm easy? What am I to you, 'min?"

It's an unnecessary outburst. You could let him have you just like always and it will be done, it will be over, you can forget it. You could let him kiss you just like how you want it and you could move on with the moment but for heaven's sake, you don't want to. It is an unnecessary outburst, but God, this unnecessary is so needed at the moment.

"Tell me." Your breath hitches in your throat as you whisper, "I want to hear what I know directly from your lips. Tell me."

Tell me you don't love me. Tell me that you're just lonely. Tell me that I am nothing but an anchor to hold onto when it's midnight and you're way too cold to be warm. Tell me all the cruel things you refuse to say because maybe what I need so badly is to see you be the liar I know you are.

"There are things that we don't need to say out loud."

A shiver runs up your spine at his smile, and you look away. Genuine is not what you need, but at the same time what you need is the truth — for him to be cruel — so that you could run, so that you could have a reason to run, so that you could convince yourself that you have a reason to run. You have been too willing to bend to his needs, to lose sleep, to lose yourself; what you need is to have a reason to try not to love him, which is to say that you do.

"And sometimes, those things are all that we need to hear so we stop being confused." You return his fond gaze, fingers moving to caress his cheeks, "I'm done trying to guess if you want me because you love me or you're just with me because I'm convenient."

Sometimes you wonder why it is that he has to lie; why does he need to tell you things he doesn't feel? But oh, on some days, you feel like he's not lying anymore. Those days hurt the most. Everything hurts with Jaemin. Everything is painful and beautiful with him.

You shut your eyes, fists clenched — "I'm going home."

At the end of it all, you know that one of you is bound to be either the bomb, or the casualty.

###

"Open the door or you'll have to buy a new one tomorrow," is the threat that makes you let your best friend in even with a heavy heart. To be fair, the door is a beautiful one. You kind of think it's not worth getting the hardest question at the moment, though, when Donghyuck finishes his glass of water and suddenly asks; "Love letters can only keep your heart beating so long, what is so difficult to understand with that?"

He has a way of being blunt, and mostly it's not the best attribute he holds. Donghyuck has been careful with you in all aspects except the thing about Jaemin; he hates him with all he is, and that is odd because your best friend used to love the other. They had dance class together and were even in a team together until you two started hanging out and Donghyuck left; to keep you away, he said. He's no good for you, he said. It was everything but fair but you understand. Dance is one of Donghyuck's many dreams and if he quits it for this reason, you think it's pretty valid. Unnecessarily overdramatic, but still valid.

"I said, what is so difficult to unders—"

"None!" you hiss. "Heaven, Hyuck, none at all! Do you think I'm dumb? Of course, I know that!"

"Then why do you keep holding on?"

Why.. Would it disappoint you less if I tell you that at this point, I don't even know anymore? Because I do know, but the reason is probably better unsaid.

"It's all I have," you whisper, feeling smaller and smaller as time passes. You bite your lips to stop your sobs, "It's all he could give."

"All he wants is to break your heart."

"Then he got what he want," You wipe away your tears. Donghyuck laughs coldly; it's the last thing you need and it runs you over like a car on full-speed, washing over you like cold water. The sad song thrums in your veins. "He gets what he wants every second of the day."

He doesn't even need to ask, but I'll give him the entire world. If I can not give him the entire world, I would give up my whole being. Why would you think that I wouldn't let him break my heart every breath I take?

"He tells you he loves you because he can't accept those words as things he wants to say to Jeno — he does to you everything because he can't admit to himself that it's all he wants to have with Jeno." His brows furrow, "He's in love with Jeno and he can't accept that. He's with you because everything would be easier if he was in love with you instead, but he's not, and he's lyin— why can't you see that?"

But you can see it, it's about as clear as day. It shines above you like the sun and it touches you like ice against your skin, it's a book laid down without all the other riddles. You don't know why you stay — maybe it's his laughs, or his kisses, or his company, or your feelings. Maybe it's everything all at once.

"People see what they want to see," your voice breaks alongside your heart. "Perhaps, I am blind with him, Lee Donghyuck."

###

There's a place where reality is a bit altered and it's everywhere with him.

Maybe it was his bright eyes. Maybe it was his voice. Maybe it's the way he was your home someway; with him it's lightweight, with him it's all happy and too perfect for the both of you. Maybe it's his lies and the way they tangle almost seamlessly, perfect enough that it seems real.

There was a time back then, a faraway memory. The first time you two slept side-by-side, he laid beside the window, and the moon casted pristine shadows on his face. His hair was blonde then, and you both loved and hated the way it fanned like a halo as he laid against the silk-covered pillow. He was sleepy, and you do not know if the moment was meant for you, but it was also the first time he kissed you, and he asked you if you wanted him to love you more.

Yes, you said, testing the waters. Yes, you said, because it is what you want.

He laughed then and he opened his eyes, holding galaxies and untold stories; feelings that are yet to be put into words. "But I do know that I love you too much now, and it would ruin me to love you any more. It would break my heart if it beat for you faster. Do you want that?"

At that point you knew that it wasn't you he's seeing in his head, but yes, you still said, trying to know more. Yes, you still said, because maybe if you pretended hard enough, it will be true. It will be for you.

Jaemin's skin was akin gold, his lips reminding you suspiciously of cherries. "Good," he whispered with his voice something that should be God forbidden, addicting and sticking to you like remnants of honey, "I want that too."

That was place number one; that specific moment in his bedroom that changed your world for the best or the worst. This is place number two, standing somewhere unfamiliar, with him the dullest star you've ever seen. Only three months have passed when you ghosted him and you think he could qualify as a stranger, but he's all too familiar even when he's so... so different. Jaemin's eyes are tired, his skin pale. His smile remains radiant and smug, as blue as his dyed hair, worn in that kind of lazy way he always does.

He laughs, "Missed me?"

You shake your head, "No."

And with that came a step, and with that step you let the truth burn your throat in a manner so similarly strong and unpleasant as your first drink. You step on your feelings, the real ones, and you keep your gaze indifferent. The words echoed in your head as if to taunt you to say them, and you thank the moon that before you could, he crashes his lips with yours.

Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Make the most out of the present time. Run around in circles, pick your poison, pin wildflowers to your hair. Open a book and hide behind it. Adore a hopeless flame — know that you are running out of forever, be a ticking time bomb. Let this be good, maybe not great nor sweet, but let it be good and temporary. Know that someday you'll need something more than the blurred lines between lies and reality, feelings, or just the need for company. Fall in love with Na Jaemin.

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the-final-sif · 5 years ago

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listen i would love to see more of the whole "katsuki's been kidnapped multiple times" bc it's one of my favorite headcanons i've seen for him. i love ppl adding layers to his character and his experiences and i wanna know what you have planned past everyone finding out

Okay, I’m gonna go off of the “they found out after Katsuki was kidnapped again and they only knew that it happened when he finally showed back up to school.” route.

Katsuki gets kinda weirded out by how everyone’s reacting so weirdly, he doesn’t understand why Aizawa is asking him so many questions or making a big deal out of it. Sure, he’s kinda guessed by now that it’s not normal after all, but that doesn’t explain any of this.

They’re in Recovery Girl’s office now, Aizawa has already been fussing at him and gotten a report on his injuries. Recovery Girl is out at the moment but she should be back soon. Katsuki has already tried to argue that he bandaged all his injuries up himself, but the glare he got from his teacher put a stop to that.

Now they’ve moved on to Aizawa questioning him on his previous kidnappings and his teacher just seems to be getting more and more stressed out. Katsuki doesn’t understand what he’s doing wrong, but it’s freaking him out because he’s been rationalizing and dealing with all of this for so long. Finally, he snaps.

“Why do you care?” And he meant it as a sarcastic remark, but Aizawa can hear the tremor in his voice, can see the minute shake of his shoulders, how Katsuki won’t meet his eyes.

“Kid, you got kidnapped. Of course I care about that, I’m your damn teacher and part of my goddamn job is keeping you safe.” He wants to say more, wants to say that Katsuki is a fucking child, and that on it’s own should be reason enough for him to care. That it’s not just a part of his job, he cares about Katuski himself. But Aizawa knows better then to say that. Maybe one day, but not today. Not when Katsuki’s already trembling and exhausted. Not when his pride couldn’t bare the insult of care, of being seen as the child he is.

“I mean, yeah, I guess I can kinda get you asking questions about the shit that went down this weekend, even though I had it under control, but what’s up with asking all these fucking questions about me being stupid when I was younger? None of it matters, I got out, I dealt with it, I learned from my shitty mistakes and I moved on. It doesn’t change anything. I’m fine.”

Sometimes, Aizawa wonders if Katsuki says these things because he genuinely believes them, or if he says them because if he doesn’t, if he didn’t dismiss the pain and shrug off the weight of his fears, then he might shatter under the burden of it all.

“Katsuki,” and that one word holds too much fucking emotion in it for Katsuki to take, he wants to curl into a ball and go to sleep, his heart is still to raw and his brain too messed up from having chains on his wrists and a muzzle forced into his mouth again. “Just because you aren’t dead or maimed doesn’t mean you’re fine. This stuff, it hurts. It leaves scars. I don’t know what the fuck was going on in your childhood that you were left to deal with that by yourself, but you aren’t alone in this anymore, okay?”

It’s been a long fucking weekend, and Katsuki is so tired that he can’t keep his walls up. Not quite. So he doesn’t argue, just ducks his head in a half nod as he tries to pretend there aren’t tears welling up in his eyes.

Aizawa can’t help himself then, he sighs, sitting down beside Katsuki on the bench and slinging an arm over the kid’s shoulders. It’s a gentle motion, a light squeeze, but Katsuki leans into it just a little bit and that’s enough.

Recovery Girl gets there soon after, and Katsuki protests healing at first, he doesn’t have much stamina left and there’s no way he can go back to class afterwards, but Aizawa tells him on no uncertain terms that he is not going back to class today, and so he relents.

That leaves Aizawa with a sleeping teenager who he doesn’t want to leave alone and 19 worried teenagers waiting for him back in his classroom.

In the end he sends Mic to tell them class is canceled today. None of them were going to be able to focus anyways, and they need some time to recover from the shock anyways.

All-Might finds out not too long after that, and his mind flies back to Katsuki on that night when he fought Izuku. He struck suddenly, by how it wasn’t the kidnapping itself that upset Katsuki. It wasn’t the villains that could’ve killed him, could’ve done all sorts of awful and terrible things to him. It was seeing someone else hurt trying to rescue him that upset Katsuki. That he was unable to understand.

Izuku put it together too. They both understand and can’t understand at the same time.

Katsuki wakes up, and he’s still freaked out by how much people care, but he accepts it with time.

Things settle down eventually, they go back to normal, but not really. Not quite. There’s a new normal now.

Katsuki isn’t left alone much anymore. Not unless he’s in his room and he’s kicked everyone else out of it for some peace and quiet. If he’s going out somewhere, it seems at least one of his classmates is following after him. Most often it’s some subset of the bakusquad. If he’s going home it’s almost always Izuku. He’s surprised by how often it’s people outside of that group though. All of his classmates have gone with him at least once. Even though he bitches about it, he doesn’t mind that much.

There’s a new set of rules for students too, when you leave the dorms you give an estimated return time, and if you’re more then an hour late and you don’t text your homeroom teacher to let them know you’re okay, they start looking for you.

Katsuki was annoyed by the new rules until some gen ed kid with a rich family actually got their lives saved by it. It makes the whole system feel less targeted, so he settled down about it.

Aizawa doesn’t follow the kid around, god no, he’s not going to invade a student’s privacy like that, but he makes it more of a point to know where Katsuki is. To know when he’s going home, or just going out.

It quickly becomes apparent and then suspicious to Aizawa that Katsuki never goes home. Even Shouto goes home sometimes, he has siblings he likes to visit apparently. Katsuki doesn’t.

When Aizawa had asked if Katsuki had ever talked about the fact he was kidnapped with his parents, the teenager had laughed. Then quickly shut his mouth when he saw Aizawa’s worried expression. What kind of parents don’t notice their own damn kid going missing? Aizawa had been wondering for months now.

Summer break is coming up, and most of the kids are supposed to go home. Katsuki is one of the few that isn’t excited for it.

After getting approval from Nezu, Aizawa approaches Katsuki two weeks before summer starts. He’s staying at the dorms over the summer, for safety reasons. Aizawa already got approval from his parents. They didn’t even question it. Didn’t seem to care much. Katsuki is wide eyed, but he doesn’t protest, not even his usual bluster. He just agrees, muttering that it’ll be nice to keep up on his training, and that’s that.

It can never be quite that easy though, and that very fucking weekend Katsuki was in such a good mood that he went out with a few of his classmates to the mall. All it took was him getting distracted by something in a shop window, he pauses for a moment to look at it, and then the assholes were on him. Something’s over his mouth, and he’s slipping into blackness.

He wakes up chained up with a headache, and he’s fucking tired, but he knows the drill.

It doesn’t take him long to pick the locks, doesn’t take him long to dispatch the guards and tie them up. Doesn’t take long for him to find the dumbass behind this whole thing and start a fight. Every bone in his body aches, but he keeps fighting.

The whole thing can’t have taken him more then two hours, so he’s fucking shocked when just as he takes a nasty blow to the shoulder, the front door of the place is broken down and there are people rushing in. He’s still kinda drugged out, so it’s surreal for him as suddenly Aizawa is there and has hands on his shoulders, and he’s being steered outside.

His classmates are there. Some of them anyways. Izuku isn’t. He’s apparently inside, having only just been hauled off the now unconscious villain.

It’s like he’s been teleported to a new world, and it’s confusing and strange, the idea that people noticed he was gone. That they cared enough to come get him, when they probably knew he could handle it on his own.

He must’ve said that last bit out loud, Aizawa’s grimacing now.

“Just because you can handle it on your own, doesn’t mean you should have to kid. You deserve some goddamn heroes in your life too. Now sit own here and let the paramedic look you over.”

Katsuki does, he answers the paramedics questions as best he can, and they take some blood and tell Aizawa something about sleeping it off.

Sleeping sounds awfully nice right now.

The adrenaline is fading, and some part of Katsuki screams that he needs to stay awake. That he needs to get himself home or they’ll catch him again. That this is do or die.

But that’s not right. Aizawa’s here. His classmates are here. Other people are here, and for some reason they’re helping him.

Even if Katsuki’s brain is still worried, his body knows it’s safe, that it doesn’t need to keep pushing and pushing anymore, and so he fades out. Trusting for once in his goddamn life that he doesn’t need to save himself. For once in his life, it’s okay to let someone else do that for him.

When he wakes up, he’s in the infirmary, and he can see his classmates scattered around the room, Aizawa in a chair to his side, Mic leaning on Aizawa’s shoulder and All-Might to their left. Everyone’s asleep. It’s like 3 am in the morning.

One deep breath in, one deep breath out. Katsuki lets himself relax on purpose this time, and as he falls back asleep he does it knowing for a damn fact that everything will be okay when he wakes up. He’s not alone anymore.

#katsuki bakugou #dadzawa #aizawa shouta #izuku midoriya #class 1-a #bnha #mha #sif speaks #sif writes #sif answers #my headcanons #man this got long #listen my brain just took hold of the aftermath and would not let go #Anonymous #katsuki's kidnappings

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schoolfullofmorons · 4 years ago

Note

petey lowkey having a crush on gary for a long time bc hes a pretty bad boy, but it takes some actual therapy and a small reunion for gary to feel some actual LONGING to have petey in his life again. he becomes surprisingly soft and supportive, in his own way, with their renewed friendship, and it takes jimmy casually promising to kick his ass if he messes up with petey for gary to realize he might actually have developed some romantic feelings for their friend. cue panic and breathing exercises

July, 2007.

Here he stood, on the threshold of hell on Earth, about to talk to Satan himself, and he still wasn't ready to run.

Well, maybe that wasn't entirely accurate. Pete Kowalski, rising junior of Bullworth Academy, was very prepared to run from the menace that had tortured him last year. Gary Smith, the mentally unstable asylum patient, waited for him just on the other side of this door.

His palms had grown hot with sweat, and he nervously wiped them off on his clean, ironed jeans. Pete hated having generalized anxiety disorder. It made him nervous even about this, even about coming here, which was literally his own choice to begin with. The thought of facing his once best friend filled him with a mounting dread that made his throat burn with the urge to cry.

But Pete wanted this. He was determined to get the answers he wanted, because Jimmy and him had been fucked over. And Jimmy might have brushed his hands of Gary, Jimmy might have decided that he was done caring, but Jimmy wasn't Pete and Pete cared way too much. He needed to know why Gary had ditched them, betrayed them, left them to rot. He wanted to know the cause of all this.

And, deep down, maybe he missed Gary, too.

He had been standing there too long, staring at the door. Pete knew if he didn't act soon, the orderly that had trailed behind him would get annoyed. Licking his lips and swallowing down his own anxiety, he pushed open the door, letting the orderly shut it behind him.

And there he was, the mastermind himself.

Gary was so... different, in here, but in reality he still looked like a Smith. All sharp jawlines and piercing stares. When Gary rose his head to look at him, hair that was growing slightly shabby due to a month of no cuts falling into his face, Pete felt his heart skip a beat.

And then a grin passed over his face, his eyes lighting up with genuine joy. He launched himself off of the small white cot all asylum patients had been provided, and sauntered over to Pete with slow, calculated steps. Too proud and too arrogant for someone who was incarcerated.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? Did Petey Kowalski decide to pay lil' ol' me a visit? The big, bad, awful wolf, Gary Smith?" Gary's words cut into him, and Pete felt the urge to wipe his hands off on his jeans again. His friend's eyes bore into him.

Why'd you do it? Was the question that sat on Pete's tongue, but instead he cleared his throat and avoided Gary's eyes. "I... wanted to check up on you. Y'know, see how you were holding up."

"Oh, look at that! He cares about me!" Gary reached out to sling an arm around him, bringing Pete in close with a sharp jerk that had Pete yelping. "Did somebody miss me? Just couldn't sleep at night knowing I was away, could you?"

"No, I-"

"I already knew you weren't straight, but this is taking it to a whole new level."

The protest died away on Pete's tongue and he swallowed as the familiar burning sensation hit the back of his throat. When he didn't get an answer, Gary huffed and shoved him, hard. Pete stumbled, hitting the cell wall and sliding down it.

"God, you're pathetic." Gary spat.

"Why do you have to be an asshole all the time, Gary?" Pete snapped, and in one sudden rush, angry words bubbled up and out of him. "For once in your life, can't you just accept that you're the one in the wrong? You're in a cell, for god's sake! Don't you realize that I'm the only one left who doesn't want you to drop dead? Half the school pities you and the other half hates you! You destroyed our lives! You took away our peace! You don't get to be calling me the pathetic one!"

The room fell silent enough to hear a pen drop. The air around the two boys grew thicker, and thicker, and thicker still with tension. Pete risked a glance at the boy who stood looming in front of him. He had to swallow back fear as he noticed Gary's hands were clenched so tight that the skin was starting to turn white.

Pete pushed himself to his feet, slowly, unwilling to startle Gary. If he moved too fast he was afraid that Gary would snap. A predator in a hunting crouch, moments away from delivering the killing bite. That's what Gary was.

"You know, I used to like you. I used to want you around. I used to think you were smart, and funny, and cool. But now you just remind me of a... a walking toddler, who throws a temper tantrum when he doesn't get his way. I hope you get better, Gary. I hope you get the help you need so you can finally grow up."

Pete sidestepped Gary, who had yet to move except for his head, his eyes slowly following Pete back towards the doorway. Pete opened the cell door and looked back one more time, meeting eyes with the person he once considered his best friend.

And then he left.

September, 2008.

To the parents of Gary Alexander Smith,

I am writing to you to inform you that your son has completed rehab. According to his court order, this is the final step needed in order for him to be released back to the public.

Please note that he will still have to check in weekly with a nurse that will ensure he is still taking his medication. This will no longer be a requirement after his 100 hours of community service is over.

With this in mind, we will be releasing him on the 8th at 3 PM. We require a signature before his release in order to ensure that he is in the proper hands of his guardians.

Thank you for your time,

Happy Volts staff.

The reunion with his parents was about as happy as you'd expect with parents as terrible as his. Really, they didn't talk much through the entire thing; it was pick him up, take him home, and let him clean himself up before they had dinner.

It was the first meal that he had had in a long ass time that was actually good, instead of being almost edible. He really did have a newfound appreciation of his maids after that, though he'd never admit it to them out loud.

The thing about spending a year away from home is that it caused him to reflect on things he could have done differently. It also made him realize that a lot of the shit he had done his sophomore year simply didn't... matter. Maybe it was the medication, and the advice of actual doctors from the state after being transferred from Volts and their terrible medical department, but Gary was beginning to see things in ways he had never thought to see them in before.

For example, he was pretty sure Jimmy had never said anything all that terrible to him. Where had he gotten that idea from? Yeah, some of it was an addiction to power, but he was pretty sure the other part was perceived rejection. Learning about rejection sensitive dysphoria really did help him out in a lot of ways. He just wished it had been explained to him sooner, before, y'know, he betrayed all of his closest pals because of an inexplainable fear that they hated his guts.

(Which now they probably did. Go figure. Pete's words still ate at him when he tried to sleep at night).

That didn't matter as much now, anyway. He wanted to know what he'd be doing. He wasn't trapped anymore, with only medical professionals and other patients that had, admittedly, been really kind to him when they weren't Bullworth Branded(tm). He wanted to know what his future would be like, now that his head was much clearer.

When he asked his father, the response he got didn't surprise him much.

"We've decided to respect Crabblesnitch's decision and homeschool you. It'll be best, in order to prevent anymore... incidents."

And so began the process of sleeping, waking up, eating, being immersed into various studies by a freshly hired tutor with a bitchy voice that Gary tried very hard not to snap at, eating again, and going back to sleep. This pattern only broke on days where he had been assigned community service, or had an appointment with his psychologist.

As the days went on, he began to make the effort to expose himself to the outside world. Being locked up made him unusually skittish around people, and he was still having trouble getting used to the crowd that was his father's staff. This led to him climbing onto the roof of his father's house as he watched the sun dip steadily over the horizon after a long day of studies.

Being in high places had been a huge comfort when he was a child. He liked to watch the world, and he liked to feel in control by being able to see his surroundings. His friends would occasionally join him. He had many memories of Pete's smile catching on the sunset, or his nervous expression watching him as Gary got too close to the edge.

This was their place first, before it became his and Jimmy's. He wondered, briefly, if Jimmy still thought of their battle as often as Gary did, or if Gary just did that because it was the last substantial thing he had ever done with himself before the lock-up.

He really missed those two.

He got it, though. He couldn't have them back in his life. They had both kicked him out, and that was his own doing. He had hurt them, and he might regret it, but he had to let go.

He just didn't know how, when he didn't have anyone else.

December, 2008.

He finished his community service. Christmas break came, and since he had been working so hard on catching up with his junior year studies, his father had allowed him to take it off for himself. He was grateful at the idea of a break; he had been working tirelessly, and was nearly three quarters of a way through his junior year. He wanted to catch up to his senior year already, so that he could graduate in May like the rest of the Class of 2009.

Suddenly filled with free time that he did not want taken up by family, Gary found himself wandering into town more than he had previously. At first he didn't go far, but as the days passed he found himself going on longer strolls until he found himself deep in the heart of Bullworth Vale.

He should have known it would be easy to be spotted there, considering the gym was a hotspot for prep activity. Jimmy's lighthouse was also down here, causing Gary to avoid that spot as much as he could.

It was a smart idea, by all means. Unfortunately for Gary, however, Jimmy was king, and the preps told him everything. Especially Gord, who he'd had an on-and-off relationship with for a few years now.

That's what led to his peaceful stroll being interrupted by a massive fist slamming his head into the side of a brick wall, so hard that his ears rang.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Came a familiar voice in his ear, and his blood ran cold.

"James." Gary grunted into the brick wall. He tried to lift his head up, but was deemed unsuccessful when Jimmy's fist jerked him back down, causing him to wince. "What is it you want? I was busy."

"Busy doing what? Making the smiles of tiny children disappear?"

Gary had to remind himself that Jimmy was completely justified in this reaction, but it was hard when his cheek was beginning to fucking bleed.

"Get off."

"Not until you tell me what you're doing out of jail where you were supposed to rot."

"I got released! I finished the stupid program, okay? Let me go!" Gary hissed, and to his surprise, Jimmy did.

"What program are you talking about?" Jimmy asked, crossing his arms. Gary rubbed the grit off his face and took a moment to let his eyes wander over Jimmy's freckles.

Jesus, he forgot just how many James had. He was like a freckled forest.

"Technically a bunch of different programs... rehab was one, and I went through some community service hours." Gary shrugged. "Does it matter? I'm out now."

Jimmy's face contorted into three different expressions of confused anger, and Gary had to stop himself from laughing out loud at it.

"Like hell you're coming back to Bullworth-"

"I'm not, actually. I'm being homeschooled." Gary replied, smug at his one-up despite his best efforts not to be. It was just easy to feel smug around Hopkins.

(He wondered, briefly, why he wasn't downright pissed at Jimmy for sophomore year; but it had been a long time since then, and Gary was different, more different than he'd ever been).

"What? How long has that been going on?"

"Since September." Gary told him.

"Oh. Wow."

The two of them stood in an almost awkward silence, and Gary flicked his eyes over to watch the road as cars passed by. He had almost zoned out when Jimmy spoke again.

"So, what? Are you scheming to get back in?" When Gary turned his eyes back to Jimmy, the shorter boy was squinting at him, looking suspicious.

"No." Gary said, honest. "I'm not going to bother you, either, if that's what you're going to ask."

"Why? Not that I don't appreciate your kindness or whatever. I'm just trying to understand."

"I get it, don't worry." Gary shrugged and sighed, turning on his heel to face the road. "Honestly? I've had a lot of time to think. And... I messed up with the two of you. Bad. I don't want to pressure you into having to deal with me again, because, well... I fucked up your lives. I understand that now, I understand how bad it was back then for you. I wasn't going to seek you out, but I suppose thinking that I could hide from you forever wasn't necessarily the brightest idea."

"I can't believe this." Jimmy mumbled. "Gary Smith? Showing remorse? Who would of thought."

"Yeah." Gary said, quietly. "Wild idea, for sure."

The two boys stood looking at the cars in a slightly more comfortable silence. It had started to lightly snow, and Gary rubbed his gloved hands together to create the idea of warmth before he half-froze to death.

"I don't know if I forgive you, you know." Jimmy spoke.

"Yeah, I figured." Gary murmured. "And you don't have to."

"I think if you're putting in the effort, I'd like to forgive you." Jimmy told him, and Gary turned his head, regarding him with surprise.

"What you did was... terrible, to be frank, but I've seen worse. You weren't all that bad, back before the fight with Russell." He shrugged and Gary continued to stare. Jimmy had liked their friendship? It felt like a crazy idea.

"And I think... I think Petey really misses you, too." Jimmy shifted to glance at him. "He... told me, about your fight."

Gary didn't like thinking about it, much less talking about it. He clenched his hands into slight fists and let out a small huff. "Really? Man..."

"Its fine, really. I mean, I was pissed at the time and so was he, but I think he just misses you now." Jimmy turned his whole body towards Gary, suddenly furrowing his brow. "Hey, give me your hand."

"What?" Gary frowned. "No, get your own hand to hold."

"I'm not tryna flirt with you, dumbass. I'm gonna write Pete's number on your arm."

"Pete's - what?"

"You should apologize to him." Jimmy said, matter-of-factly. Bewildered, Gary handed Jimmy his hand. Jimmy took a pen out of his pocket and uncapped it, scribbling a hasty number on his wrist, just above his glove.

"Pete's parents had enough money to get him a cell phone. He can answer texts but texting back is a slow process so he prefers to call." Jimmy pocketed his pen. "I'm sure you two can work it out for yourselves though."

"Why are you giving this to me? I thought you hated me." Gary asked him, pulling his arm back to run his fingers over the messy digits that were gracing his skin.

"I never hated you, to be honest." Jimmy told him. "I was mad, but I never hated you. I was always rooting for you, Gary."

"I see." Gary replied. "Thank you, then, James."

"Of course." Jimmy clapped him over the back, causing him to stumble. "See ya around, crazy man."

He went home with black ink on his wrist and the words I was always rooting for you stuck in his head on repeat.

January, 2009.

Gary procrastinated all of Christmas break away thinking about calling Pete.

He didn't know why the task was bothering him so much. It hadn't been difficult to apologize to Jimmy, but then again, he knew he had been wrong about Jimmy going into it. Admitting to himself that he had no idea what Pete thought of him was a different challenge that was taking a lot of effort to push through.

There was also the part of Gary that had finally, finally let him accept that he missed Pete. And now he was getting a second chance with him, to fix things. To make things right.

He really, really didn't want to screw things up. That's why he was having so much trouble with this one, stupid, idiotic phone call.

(Rejection sensitive dysphoria, thou is a heartless bitch).

He was once again by the house phone, twirling the wire around his finger as he held it up to his ear. He chewed on his lip as he continued what had become a daily debate in his head: to call, or not to call?

Fuck it, he said, and dialed the number.

Pete picked up on the third ring. "Hello?"

Gary took in a sharp breath as the static in his head got louder. Was this a good idea? Probably not. Why did he trust Jimmy? Jimmy was a moron, how would he know what Pete thought?

"Hello? Is this a prank caller?" Pete asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

"No!" Gary spoke and then cleared his throat. "No, uh, its-"

"Gary? Is that you?"

"Yes! Yes."

"Holy crap, I thought you were still in-?"

"No, I got released a few months ago. I ran into Jimmy and he said you've missed me, so-"

"If this is going to be another teasing session about how 'homosexual' I am, I swear I will end this call right-"

"No no no, its the opposite actually. I wanted to apologize."

The line fell silent, and Gary shifted from foot to foot as nerves raced through him. Pointless restless energy. Only ADHD things.

"Look, I really messed up with you."

"Uh-huh. I know."

"And I wanted to say I really, really regret it. You were one of my best friends."

"And?"

"And I'm sorry. You deserved so much better than how I treated you."

Another silence. There was a noise as if someone had sat down a dish. "Listen, if you expect me to just accept, then I don't think I can do that."

Gary's finger twitched and he rested his head back on the wall. "I understand."

"But I'll give you the chance to prove that I should accept." Pete's voice was quieter now. "You just... you just have to prove it to me through actions, not say sorry and go right back to being a jerk."

"Yeah." Gary said, equally as quiet.

"Do you want to meet up sometime? To catch up?" Pete asked, and Gary had to fight to keep down the grin spreading over his face.

"I'd like that," he answered.

He might not have been forgiven yet, but he'd take what he could get.

They made plans to meet at a small cafe just outside of Bullworth Vale that following Thursday.

Pete Kowalski, senior of Bullworth Academy, sat in the quiet coffee shop that he had recommended for his and Gary's little "outing."

He had brought his laptop, as he had an essay due for his current English class and like hell was he going to pass up an opportunity to write it in a quiet space. He had actually arrived early in order to start it, since he knew Gary liked to ramble on, and he wanted to get some work done before he was interrupted.

He also wanted to think, which he had been doing between writing paragraphs analyzing the societal symbolism in The Scarlet Letter. His thoughts were turned towards the boy who he was currently meeting today, his good friend, Gary Smith.

He had missed Gary, if he were being honest. That didn't make him any less bitter about the things Gary had done to him, but it was still a cemented fact nonetheless. Gary Smith just... felt like his own addiction. Once you were around him once, he wouldn't get out of your head, and you wanted to see him again and again.

So Pete had decided to meet him here.

Of course, Pete wasn't stupid by any means. If Gary showed up acting like he had the last time they met, Pete would end all arrangements here. But Gary had shown... actual remorse. It was more than he had seen from him in a long time.

He just, really hoped it would work out well.

When the time came for him to show, the small bell over the door rang, signifying that someone had entered the coffee shop. Pete lifted his eyes and was immediately faced with the boy he had been crushing on for a good few years now.

Gary Smith, although he looked significantly less Smith(tm) now, his facial features softened but what could only be newfound maturity. Gary's brown eyes scanned the room and landed on him, and Pete swore his heart fell into his throat.

He was just so handsome. It wasn't fair, when Pete was supposed to be angry at his dumbass.

Gary approached the table, a lot less intimidating in his stride but still as confident as ever. The closer he got, the more his face cracked into a grin, sporting the gap in his teeth.

"Petey. Long time, no see!"

Pete couldn't help but smile faintly. "Hey. Go ahead and take a seat."

Gary slid into the table opposite from him and reached over to grab Pete's cup of coffee without warning. "What are you doing?"

"I could ask you the same. That's my coffee, Gare." Pete huffed and watched as Gary froze halfway to putting the cup to his mouth. A red blush spread over his face and he grumbled, setting the cup down.

"Yeah, sure. Don't share then."

"Don't be a dick. And I'm working on my English essay, to answer your question."

"Essays aren't too hard to write as long as you can focus on them."

"Well, yeah." Pete shrugged and looked down at the computer. He knew Gary had pretty much a natural talent at anything academic. "It just takes up a lot of time."

"What's the essay on?"

"The Scarlet Letter. You ever read that book?"

"Duh? Everyone in our grade has read that stupid ass novel. Its notorious for being boring." Gary rolled his eyes and Pete cracked a smile.

"Yeah, it honestly is. Doesn't stop the teacher from assigning it, though."

"Did you get Galloway again?"

"Nah. Got an actual competent teacher who makes us do stuff."

"Oh, I bet Bullworth isn't taking that one well." Gary smirked and leaned forward. He practically radiated smugness. "How has it been, with ol' James Bitchfucker Hopkins there to rule it?"

"You know, you could be nice to him for once instead of insulting him every other sentence." Petey chastised and rolled his eyes.

"Its our dynamic, Peter. Gotta insult him before the weirdos think I'm getting soft on him." Gary laughed. "Now answer the question."

"Yeah, yeah. Bossy." Pete looked at the words on his screen and then sighed, closing his laptop. Seems his work time was over. "Things have calmed down a lot, actually... the cliques all kind of kiss up to Jimmy, and in turn he settles all their disputes for pocket cash before they can get too violent. Its honestly kind of nice?... A lot of people have, uh, come out recently, and Jimmy's been beating up people who make fun of them."

"Come out?" Gary eyed him. Pete wasn't sure if he was making up the accusation in the burning stare or not. "As in...?"

"Gay, of course." Pete's cheeks burned. He almost wished he hadn't brought it up. "Jimmy is - he's bi, you know? He's been talking to a lot of kids who have come to them about their sexuality, like, um, Mandy-"

"Mandy??? The girl who is always clinging to a guy?"

"She doesn't do that anymore. She even talks to the nerds now, sometimes. As in, like, nicely." Pete shrugged and shifted. "She, she came out as a lesbian."

"What the hell." Gary furrowed his brow. "Did Jimmy put queer shit in the water?"

"Gary, don't say that, its rude. And no, Jimmy just..." Pete chewed his bottom lip and smiled. "He's supportive."

Gary pursed his mouth into a tight frown and Pete narrowed his eyes, his smile falling. "If you say something homophobic, I will cut you."

"Jesus, Pete, I leave you alone for a year and a half and you turn into the sass master. No, I wasn't going to say anything homophobic." He scoffed and turned his head to the side, purposefully ignoring Pete. Pete felt his cheeks burn.

"Okay, well, I just - wanted to make sure. Since, you know. I'm bisexual."

Gary snapped his head around to stare at Pete, and Pete felt his cheeks grow darker. "Stop looking so surprised. You already suspected it."

"I thought - I didn't - what?"

"Weren't you the one to call out the fact that I stared at boys for too long, repeatedly, for years?"

"I never thought you'd actually admit to it."

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't have if I'd had stayed around you." Pete said, coming off colder than he meant to. When Gary's face fell, he blushed and put his hands up. "I- shit, I didn't mean it like that, don't get upset. I just... you weren't the most accepting, Gary. I needed someone who would be so that I could experiment without feeling dirty."

Gary stared at him and then glanced out the window, huffing and setting his face in a tight line. "Yeah, okay. I get it. You don't have to explain."

"So... are you okay with it?"

"Obviously." Gary turned a glare at him, looking annoyed at the implications, and Pete smiled softly.

"Cool."

The two boys fell into a familiar routine after that, with Gary visiting the coffee shop after class on Wednesday to talk. On weekends, when he had nothing to do, he would call up Pete or Jimmy - sometimes even both of them - and they'd walk along the train tracks, talking as they relaxed in the quiet wilderness.

It was nice.

February, 2009.

"So I was like, dude, can you shut up already and give me the dang pencil? I don't care if it has MLP on it."

Gary snorted. "Is it really that surprising that Trent was into MLP?"

"No! That's why I didn't give a shit!" Pete laughed from beside him, and Gary couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him. Pete's laughter was infectious.

Their shoes made crunching noises on the gravel as they walked along the train track. They had been walking like this for a good twenty minutes as they caught up on their week.

"Valentine's Day is coming up." Gary mused. "Do you have a date?"

"Who? Me? Pete Kowalski, the quiet kid? Please." Pete chuckled softly, but it sounded sad more than anything.

"Hey, I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt." Gary teased and gently shoved him. "Do you have anyone you want to date?"

"What, like a crush?"

"Yeah."

"Well..." Pete hesitated.

"You do have someone." Gary grinned as Pete returned to his side. "Who is it? Don't tell me its MLP boy."

"Trent? Ew, no. I'm not Jimmy, man."

"Is it Jimmy?"

"What?"

"Is it Hopkins?" Gary rose an eyebrow. Pete blinked, seeming caught off guard.

"No, of course not. I mean, Jimmy is cool and all, but..." Pete shrugged and glanced away. "I just, like someone else."

"Who, then?"

"Why do you want to know so bad?"

"Because I'm curious. Bite me."

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"Satisfaction brought it back. Just tell me, Pete, please?"

"I..." Pete stopped abruptly and Gary turned, alarmed as a frown made its way on Pete's face. "I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

Well, that's not weird at all. Gary let his eyes roll up and down Pete's figure, reading his body language (which screamed I'M SAD! in all caps), and then sighed. "Okay."

"Thanks." Pete smiled softly.

Gary wondered just why it bothered him so much in the days to follow.

Gary finished his junior year assignments and started his senior year courseload, feeling a lot happier now that he was in the proper grade level, even if he was behind by a small margin.

Despite that, his thoughts were mostly on one person: Pete.

For some reason, it bothered him knowing that Pete had a crush. Especially one that he wouldn't tell Gary about.

It felt like... this strange mix of anger, worry, and sad that Gary wasn't quite able to process.

Mostly because it felt an awful lot like jealousy, and he was not going to be jealous over Pete Kowalski, especially considering that had even deeper implications such as the idea that he might not be as heterosexual as he once thought.

Not that he had ever been attracted to girls, which... honestly, confused him more. Did that mean he was gay? But it couldn't. He hadn't ever been attracted to anyone except Pete. Maybe he wasn't... anything. Maybe he was just Gary.

Did sexuality have to be as labeled as Pete and Jimmy's? And, fuck, why was he even considering this in the first place, he so totally did not have a crush on Pete because he was NOT jealous.

A loud snap brought him out of his thoughts, and he realized he had broken his pencil. Fuck.

March, 2009.

February passed with little to offer. Valentine's Day found Gary wandering Bullworth Vale - Pete said he didn't feel like leaving the house, and Jimmy had a date. Overall, it was uneventful, except for the fact that Gary couldn't stop thinking about Pete.

Spring break would be coming up, the first week of April. Jimmy had suggested that they go camping by the train tracks. Gary had agreed, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart when he thought of Pete being there, sharing a tent with him.

April, 2009.

"Tent building is hard." Gary breathed out heavily as he leaned across a nearby tree.

"Lazy ass." Jimmy passed him with some firewood in his arms, hitting Gary lightly over the head. Gary rose an arm to shove his hand away.

"Shut up. Pete's complaining too." Gary pouted.

"Pete's different." Jimmy passed said boy, who was sitting on a treestump, and gave him a friendly smile. Gary felt jealousy pulse through his veins.

Okay, so he had accepted he was jealous. But that didn't mean anything. So.

"Pete's a loser." Gary retorted and playfully smirked at the boy, who rolled his eyes.

They had spent the first hour or so setting up camp before the sun went down. It had made two out of three of them tired, with Jimmy being unable to feel exhaustion ever.

As Jimmy began to build the campfire, Gary moved from the tree he was leaning against to settle next to Pete. His heart beat hard in his chest as their knees brushed.

"So, little Petey, are you ready for a night with the creepypastas?" Gary teased and shoved him lightly.

"Shut up. Its bad enough that you've been trying to get me into them without mentioning them here." Pete huffed at him, putting one hand up to shove his face away. Gary laughed, ignoring the tingle that ran through his skin where Pete's hand made contact.

"They're fun! Come on, your gay ass can't tell me you don't find at least one of them attractive."

"They kill people!"

"So?"

Pete opened his mouth to respond, then seemed to think better of it, pouting instead. "Shut up."

Gary felt his face slip into a familiar grin. He let his eyes trail over Pete's face as the boy turned away to watch Jimmy, taking in his soft brown eyes. When he smiles he gets dimples...

He felt a burning stare pierce through him, and slowly turned his head to see Jimmy giving him a knowing look with a raised eyebrow. Gary felt panic shoot through him, but externally he kept his face in the same grin.

"Done yet, James?"

Jimmy studied him curiously and then looked back at the fire. "Yeah. Should be enough for the night."

"I brought stuff for smores." Pete smirked and moved away from Gary. He tried not to be disappointed at the distance.

"Hell yeah, we like, gotta roast marshies. That's the first fuckin' rule of camping." Jimmy smirked and sat down by the fire. The sun wasn't down yet, but it was steadily approaching the horizon - it would be sunset soon.

"Marshies?" Pete laughed. "Are you in grade school?"

"Hey, don't diss my flow. Marshies are the bomb, man."

"You're so weird." Gary rolled his eyes and Jimmy shrugged.

They spent the next few minutes unpacking the food, preparing to make dinner. The campsite they had picked out had a grill nearby, and Pete had brought burgers for them all to eat. Jimmy lit the grill and left Pete to cook as Gary stayed by the fire just a little ways off.

"Hey." Jimmy greeted, his voice quiet as he sat down next to Gary, moving to rest his hands on his knees. "I need to talk to you."

"What is it?" Gary rose an eyebrow. "Does Pete need help with something?"

"Nah, that little dude's got it all figured out. I was gonna grill but he insisted. He's had a fascination with cooking ever since his parents decided he was old enough to touch the stove." He chuckled and shrugged.

"Then what?" Gary pulled his knees to his chest, eyeing Jimmy out of the corner of his eye suspiciously.

"Look, man. I don't want to pry, since I know it isn't any of my buisness, but... I see the way you and Pete look at each other."

Gary felt his blood run cold, and he turned his head to look at his friend. "I don't know what you're-"

"Earlier you spent like fifteen seconds staring at his face man, you were practically swooning like a stupid schoolgirl. Its so blatantly obvious that you like him."

"I..." Gary was at a loss for words, panic rising up in his chest. "No, no no no I-"

"I'm not going to tell him or anything." Jimmy held his hands up. "I just want to say... if you mess up with him again, I'm gonna have to kick your ass, alright? So, don't."

"What?" Gary breathed out. No, no no, it can't be that obvious. I thought I was hiding it better than this, I can't like Pete, I can't.

"I'm rooting for the two of you. You two deserve to he happy and its obvious he likes you back, so..." Jimmy shrugged and then furrowed his brow. "Are you okay?"

Gary realised then that he was hyperventilating. "What? Yeah."

"Gary, man, take it easy." Jimmy reached out, hesitated an inch away from him, and then gently allowed his fingers to snag around Gary's wrist once he was allowed. "Look at me. Focus on my hand. Breathe in, breathe out."

Gary took in a deep breath, letting himself focused on the calloused feel of Jimmy's hand around his wrist. He released his breath, and looked at Jimmy. Breathe in, breathe out. Repeat.

When he was calm enough, Jimmy let him go and nodded awkwardly. "You good?"

"Yeah." Gary muttered, embarrassment pooling in the pit of his stomach.

"So did I assume right?..." Jimmy murmured, keeping his voice low. Gary nodded, looking into the fire. The heat coming off of it soothed him.

"Really? Does that mean you're gay?"

"I... have no idea?" He could feel his face flushing. "Look, don't tell him, okay? I've only figured it out recently-"

"Recently? You've been looking at him like he's your princess ever since you came back into our lives."

"Don't tease me Hopkins, okay? Fuck you. I was in denial about it, it isn't every day that I actually like someone, let alone like them in that way."

"Yeah, yeah, you're an emotional robot, we get it." Jimmy rolled his eyes. "I won't tell him. But you should. He likes you back, I can tell."

Did he? Gary pursed his lips together and stared into the fire, choosing not to comment. But why would he?

He spent the rest of the night in bewilderment as they roasted "marshies," told horror stories, and eventually went to sleep in the tent. It was weird, sleeping beside Pete with the revelation he had just been presented, and he tried very hard not to freak out.

Eventually, morning came, and Gary got up, groggy from anxious sleep. They had to pack up and then they'd be heading back.

He really, really hated the disappointment he felt because of that.

May, 2009.

Gary decided that emotions were not something he was very strongly suited for.

He had been avoiding Pete, unsure how to feel about his conversation with Jimmy. Part of him still did not want to accept that he was capable of a crush, let alone a crush on a guy. (God, his father would be so pissed). The other part of him wanted to accept it and let go, because Pete was cute and smart and kind and... well, Pete.

As the month went on, Gary found himself missing Pete more and more. It was easy to cancel plans under the guise of schoolwork, but it was becoming excessive. And, well...

Maybe it was time for him to admit to himself that yeah, he was queer. He wasn't sure of the proper term (gay? bi? who knows) but he knew he was LGBTQ+ of some origin. And...

Well, Jimmy had given him a vote of confidence. Maybe he should just go for it.

He held off for a few weeks, but Gary was never one to deny himself what he really wanted. And he wanted Petey to look at him, more than anything.

He decided that he'd have to do this. It was time. And, readying himself, he began to devise a plan.

Pete had a burning frustration for all days dedicated to couples. He had always wanted to be a part of a relationship. It wasn't that he hated being single; he just... wanted to know what that connection was like. And, well, he also wanted to like someone that was actually obtainable for once.

Because of this, he tended to lock himself in his dorms during those days. And, here he was once again, in his dorm.

It was Prom Night, and Peter Kowalski had bought a new book to read to distract himself from the painful torture that is Being Single.

A knock on the door distracted him from Pip's adventure into newfound wealth. He stood up and went to answer it, curiousity pumping through him. Jimmy was the only one who ever came to his dorm, but Jimmy had told him he had a date tonight.

He opened the door to find Gary Smith there, a grin on his face and a suit in his hand. He was dressed in formal attire of his own, making Pete's heart skip a beat.

That is, until it hit him. "Gary? What are you doing here? You aren't allowed on school property."

Gary shrugged. "It isn't like the Prefects will care anyway. Its prom, Pete."

Okay, he had a point. "Still... do you have a date or something?"

Gary's grin widened. "Yes, actually." Abruptly, he shoved the suit into Pete's hands. "Get changed, we're going out."

"What?" Pete furrowed his brow. "But... what about your date?"

"Do I need to spell it out for you? We're going out. I already bought the suit for you and everything."

It clicked in Pete's head, and he flushed a bright red. "Oh!" He squeaked. "Okay!"

He went back in his room and quickly changed. He had not been expecting this, and part of him was still sure that it was a prank? (If it was, well, he'd deal with it later).

Pete stepped out of his room in the new suit. Gary's eyes scanned down over his body, and Pete flushed red, fidgeting nervously. "Is this... okay?"

"Its perfect." Gary told him, reaching out to grab his hand. Pete could see the faintest traces of red blush on Gary's face. "Let's go."

"Wait." Pete stopped him. Gary turned to him, looking annoyed. "For clarification. Are - are we dating now? Like, um, boyfriends."

Gary narrowed his eyes. "Ugh, that's such a stupid term."

"Well?"

"I guess. If you want to be b-words then I'm here for it." Gary glanced away from him.

Pete broke into a grin. "Okay." He said, very quiet, as happiness settled in his chest.

"Are you ready now?"

"Yeah. Yeah, let's go."

#gary smith #pete kowalski #psychofluff #peter kowalski #petey kowalski #canis canem edit #cce #bully scholarship edition #bse #bully #long post #i tried putting a read more but tumblr hates me #ask #anon

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watchmegetobsessed · 5 years ago

Text

Different - Adam Sackler (pt. 5)

OMG thank you so much for all the kind words and love you’ve showed to this series, you made me so happy! as i said, this story sits close to my heart so i’m very happy that so many of you enjoyed it! this is officially the last part of this series so thank you for reading, but i think i will surely write more about Sackler bc im just OBSESSED with him. so follow me or ask me to put you on my Adam taglist if you’d like to read more from me!

series summary: Hannah lets you move in with her and Adam as you are her second cousin and in need of a place to live. Your relationship with Adam starts rocky, but things soon seem to be taking a turn.

pairing: Adam Sackler x Reader

❗️ WARNING: SMUT!❗️

word count: 5k

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4

masterlist

If you had to specify the worst period in your life, you’d point to the three months that followed that one hell of a day, without hesitation. You never in your life would have thought you’d end up this hurt, because you somehow always thought you’d have Adam. But you didn’t, because you decided to push him away and even though it broke you in every possible way, you still told yourself it was the right decision to make. The only one you thought you’d made in a while.

He tried to call you hundreds of times for a week after everything that has happened, but you declined all of his calls, and if he left you a voicemail, you just deleted it without even listening, because you knew if you heard his voice that would just make it even harder. You wanted to call him a lot of times, when you were questioning if you’ve made the right decision, your fingers lingered over his contact in your phone several times, but you never called.

For obvious reasons Hannah broke all contact with you and you couldn’t blame her. You deserved everything you got from her and maybe even more. Her words burnt into your mind and you found yourself repeating them in your thoughts quite often, as if your consciousness wanted you to remember how horrible of a person you are. Not that it wasn’t true, to be honest.

It took you three months to somewhat settle down and be able to continue with your everydays after everything that has happened. But it doesn’t mean you forgot any of it. That void Adam left in you was still there, you just learned to ignore it and pretend like you don’t miss him every day of your life.

Tyler quit after the incident with you, being the clever grown man that he is, so at least you had one less thing to worry about. But your days started to blur into one big mess. It took you long to actually try to pull yourself out of this slumber-like state. What really helped you is that you started taking yoga classes. Twice a week you took one hour to yourself, to connect with yourself and do something for your own good.

There’s a juice bar near the studio where you go and you are heading there right now as well, dreaming about a freshly pressed green juice. Walking in you are welcomed by the tiny bells above the door and the sound brings a smile to your face as you stand in line.

When you finally get your juice and pay for it turning around you look for an empty table where you can peacefully read through your emails until you finish your juice, but you stop breathing for a second when your eyes meet a familiar gaze.

“Hannah,” you breathe out as she is looking right back at you from a table in the corner. She has her phone in her hands and a sandwich with a red juice on the table.

“Want to sit?” she offers and for a moment you feel like this is a trap. “Come on, I’m not gonna scream at you I promise,” she chuckles taking her bag away from the empty chair at the table and you take the seat shyly.

“Thank you. I didn’t know you come here.”

“I don’t. I was just in the neighborhood and got hungry,” she shrugs looking down at her half eaten sandwich.

There is a long, awkward silence between the two of you and you have no idea what you should say. The last time you saw her she was basically cursing you out for stealing her boyfriend, but now she seems cool with being around you, which is quite surprising to you.

“So, it’s been long since we last saw each other, huh?”

“Yeah,” you nod, a thousand things on your mind that you want to say, but none of them really comes out. So then you say that one thing that obviously needs to be said. “Hannah, I’m so sorry for everything then went down. I don’t know what has gotten into me, I honestly didn’t want to hurt you, that was never my intention.”

“I know,” she nods with a warm smile and you are more than surprised by her reaction.

“You do?”

“Yeah,” she chuckles. “Look I’m not saying that what you did was right and that I wasn’t supposed to be mad at you, because it was pretty fucked up, I hope you see that. But I lashed out on you a little too hard and not even for the right reason. I mean, when Adam accidentally dropped that you two have kissed, my mind went into chaos pretty fast.”

“That’s the normal reaction to finding out such thing.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t mad because you kissed. I mean, kissing is not even that big of a deal, I have kissed Elijah several times when I was dating other men. Now I know that he is gay, but you get the point, right?”

You just nod, thinking you are following her trail of thoughts though you’re not sure where she is heading with it.

“I was hurt that you two had feelings, I’ll admit that. I wasn’t expecting it to happen, but I’m mature enough to know that it’s not really something you have control over. I mean, I couldn’t control my feelings when Adam and I were just casually sleeping together and I fell for him. I didn’t mean that to happen, but it did!” she chuckles and you crack a smile as well. “Listen,” she sighs laying her hands out on the table. “I’m sorry for calling you disgusting, that was a little… too over the top.”

“Honestly, I think you had every right,” you sigh shaking your head.

“No,” she sighs. “The main reason why I was mad was because… I wasn’t the one who pulled the plug.”

You stare at her for a few moments, confused by what she meant by those words.

“I’m sorry?”

“Yeah, you heard it right. I wanted to be the one to break up with Adam and it bothered me that I ended up being dumped. It hurt my ego, because I was very sure I’d be the one to just end it and walk away like this badass, independent woman, but my breakup plan didn’t go as planned. When I went home that day with the pure intention of breaking up with him we quickly got into a fight and Adam just blurted it out, that he has feelings for you and that you already kissed and he wants to break up, right before I could say it so he took my chance. I didn’t get to be the one who ended it and it bothered me way more than it should have.”

“Hannah…”

“I’m sorry for being a bitch, it was really unnecessary. It still doesn’t change the fact that you fucked my boyfriend,” she adds pointing at you.

“Oh, I didn’t fuck him,” you shyly correct her and genuine surprise shows on her face.

“Really? Because I thought Adam just didn’t want to make me angrier and that’s why he said you just kissed.”

“No. When the kiss happened I felt so ashamed that I told him that nothing can happen until you and him are not officially done. I know it doesn’t make the whole situation better, but I wasn’t gonna be that girl who sleeps with someone else’s boyfriend.”

“Huh,” she huffs to herself, rearranging her whole viewing of what has happened. “Okay, this makes it a little better, still fucked up, but not that much.”

“Good to know. Not that it changes anything, but… yeah.”

“So you really haven’t talked to Adam since then,” she figures from the way you look.

“Did you?”

“I did,” she nods and you raise your eyebrows at her. This conversation is full of surprises. “We met about a month ago at Ray’s birthday. At first we were awkwardly avoiding each other, but then he actually came up to me and apologized.”

“That’s nice.”

“Yeah. Following that, we had a nice talk and I can really tell the guy is suffering.”

“What?” you whisper, feeling your heart immediately breaking.

“He didn’t take it well that you shut him out. And I’m not just saying this because this is what I think. He straight up told me. He told me all about how he hasn’t felt like himself ever since you didn’t let him into your place that night.”

“He told you about that?” you glance away from her. You weren’t expecting her to know so many details.

“Yeah. He really thinks he ruined you.”

“Ruined me?”

“Y/N, Adam is wired differently. He took it like he was to blame for everything and that you blame him for how everything turned out to be.”

“I’m blaming myself, not him.”

“I told him that this is probably what you think, but he would never believe it if it’s not coming from you.”

You sit there in silence, because you don’t know what you could say. You feel horrible knowing Adam has been suffering since your parting, but you still haven’t changed your mind. There’s no way Adam and you could ever make it work between the two of you, you could never do that to Hannah.

“I know what you are thinking,” Hannah speaks up pulling you out of your thoughts. “You’re thinking that you can’t be with Adam because it’s not right.”

“This is the truth. I did enough harm with my stupidity.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you got together with him.” “What?” you look at her with wide eyes. Is this a trap?

“Honestly, I’m over it. Despite everything that happened, I love you and I obviously love Adam in some way and it hurts me to see both of you like this. If it’s my blessing that’s holding you back, you have it.”

“But do you actually mean it?”

“I genuinely do. I’m working on being less selfish, something I’ve been told to be quite a lot lately and I think this is a right step towards that. I don’t really have a real reason to bring up why I shouldn’t let you be happy. It would be an egoistic move from me to watch you both suffer when I could easily help. I was over Adam when it all happened, we distanced way before that, this whole thing hurt me in a different way that has nothing to do with you or him. Would it be strange at first? Of course, but I’ve seen and been through stranger things in my life, so I’m not surprised anymore.”

This conversation has truly taken some surprising turns and you would have never thought that by the end of the day you’d have such a relief on the one thing that’s been weighing down on you for so long.

The two of you stay there in the juice bar for another hour or so, just talking and reconnecting, smoothing everything out that’s been building up in yourself through the months spent apart. She brings you the change you couldn’t give yourself and it finally pushes you out of this hell of a circle you’ve been running in for too long.

It takes you an entire week to build your courage up to face Adam. When you leave to his place that evening you’re not even sure if he still lives there, but you decide to take the chance and if it turns out that he has moved, you’ll take it as a sign that you weren’t supposed to meet him.

As you stand at the door silently, you wonder if he is on the other side. If he looks the same or if something has changed on him. Did he get a haircut? Did he maybe shave? Does he even want to see you? The questions keep flowing in and out of you until you just stop thinking and force yourself to knock on the door.

You hear shuffling from inside and then the door flies open and there he is, standing right in front of you in a pair of dark jeans and grey t-shirt, staring down at you with the most surprised look you’ve ever seen on his handsome face.

“Hey,” you shyly greet him with a small smile.

“Hey. Wha-what are you doing here?”

“I uhh—I wanted to talk to you. Is it not a good time for you?” you ask suddenly feeling like you are bothering him, after all, you just showed up unannounced, he might have plans or company over. Your stomach churns at the thought of the latter.

“No! Come in!” he shakes his head realizing he hasn’t even invited you in. He closes the door behind you and running ahead he collects some abandoned clothes from the floor and couch so you can sit down. You just smile at him as he throws them into his bedroom before joining you.

“So what’s up?”

“I… I met Hannah the other day.”

“Mm,” he hums, curiously waiting for the rest of the story.

“We talked about a lot of things and we kind of reconciled which was very nice and needed. And she told me about things I didn’t know, the reason why she lashed out so hard on me a-and that she met you a while ago.”

“Yeah, we ran into each other at Ray’s birthday,” he nods confirming the information you got from her.

“She said that you didn’t take well what happened… between us.” You glance at him and his gaze is just so intense, it’s making you feel a lot more anxious than you already are.

“I mean… Yeah, I’m not gonna lie, it’s been pretty fucked up for me.”

“I wanted to apologize.”

“For what?”

“For… making you believe that I was blaming you for everything. It was never true, I blamed myself for what happened. I thought that I failed not just Hannah but you as well and that I deserve to be left alone and suffer the consequences of my own actions.”

“Fuck, Y/N, you know we were in this together, why would you blame it all on yourself?” he sighs, frustrated to find out about your feelings.

“Why would you blame it all on yourself?” you repeat his words, feeling like it’s relevant to ask the same thing from him. “We both made mistakes.”

“Yeah,” he nods pressing his lips together into a thin line.

“I’m sorry for not letting you in that night, but I really thought I don’t deserve the smallest happy thing in my life after hearing Hannah lash out on me.”

“You were really driving me crazy. You didn’t even give me a chance to actually talk to you, just shut me out right away.”

“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do to change the past,” you say chuckling lightly. He nods in agreement. “Hannah told me some other things too.”

“Like what?”

“That she doesn’t want either of us to stay miserable and if she is the only person standing between us she is giving us her blessing.”

Adam sucks on his breath as the conversation just took a sudden turn he was hoping to happen, but didn’t think it would really.

“So… What does this mean?” he nervously asks and you find it adorable how this huge man, full of muscle and masculinity can look like the cutest creature on Earth.

“Adam, I’m sorry for the way I reacted back then, but I had a lot of time to think and my conversation with Hannah really put things into their place.”

“Alright,” he nods.

“And I think that… If you still want to, we can… give it a try. Give us a try,” you finally say and you see his eyes brightening up immediately, as the corners of his mouth curl up.

“Is this for real? You’re not just fucking with me, right?” he asks gasping and you can’t help but chuckle at his genuine reaction.

“I’m not fucking with you, Adam,” you say shaking your head.

You watch him let his head fall back as his fits fly into the air.

“Fuck yes!” he happily shouts before quickly bouncing back and cupping your face in his hands he kisses you the way he has imagined so many times since the first time your lips touched.

You let the sensation take over your whole body as your hands grip onto his broad shoulders while his hands slide down to your waist and he gently pulls you until you are sitting on his lap, knees on each sides of his, bodies pressed together.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he breathes out, burying his face into your neck as you hold him tight, fingers laced through his hair, just taking the moment in, embracing every emotion as it is, letting them flowing through your body, right into him.

The heat of the moment quickly turns into something sentimental and moving, everything crashing down on you at once and you just let yourself experience it the way it comes to you.

“I really thought I lost you forever,” he mumbles against your skin, placing soft kisses below your skin. “Swear to God if you dare to do it again, I’m gonna lose my fucking mind,” he chuckles making you laugh as well while the damn tears start forming in your eyes again.

“I’m sorry,” you breathe out lifting his head and brushing his hair out of his face you just stare into his eyes, those beautiful, hazel eyes you’ve missed so much. “But I’m here now.”

“Yes you are,” he grins before kissing you again.

His lips tug on yours, taking his time with you, while his hands run up and down on your body, exploring every bit of it, but he doesn’t move further. He doesn’t try to take your clothes off or push it and you find it very comforting and securing that he still remembers the things you talked about months ago. But you feel like you are more than comfortable with him to take this next step.

“Adam,” you mumble against his lips, your hands sliding down to his stomach where you grab the hem of his shirt.

“Yeah?”

“You can… You can go for it.”

Stopping he leans back so he can look into your eyes, looking for any sign that tells him he shouldn’t, but you just smile at him shyly.

“Are you sure? Because I’m completely fine with doing nothing, just… lying in bed and being with you.”

“I’m completely sure,” you say pecking his lips shortly. He seems uncertain as you pull his shirt up, but he holds his arms up and lets you undress him, tossing the shirt to the side before laying your palms out on his chest.

Then slowly but surely he gets into action. His hands reach under your thighs and he stands up with you in his arms, carrying you into his bedroom and laying you down to his bed, getting on top of you. His large hands fumble with the small buttons of your shirt, but you reach down to help him and a moment later the shirt is gone and he is pulling your pants down before undoing his own jeans.

You feel secure and comfortable with him, but it’s still a challenging moment regarding of your general anxiety. When he looks down at your body that’s only covered by your lingerie you feel insecure about it and he quickly realizes it.

“You’re beautiful,” he breathes out as he gets on top of you, kissing you sweetly. “Fucking gorgeous,” he smiles before kissing every inch of your face, making you giggle.

Your lips reconnect and soon the rest of your clothes are gone, leaving both of you naked under his sheets.

“Just tell me when something doesn’t feel good, okay?” he asks after he rolls a condom on and you nervously nod. “Hey, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he assures you seeing how nervous you are.

“I want to, I’m just… I don’t want it to be disappointing to you,” you say quietly.

“That’s impossible. You can never disappoint me, I could come just by looking at you naked,” he jokes making you laugh.

“Oh, so how come you haven’t finished yet?” you ask smirking at him.

“I’m really struggling to hold myself back. You can’t fucking imagine,” he grins kissing you gently. “Don’t think about me, think about yourself. I’m pretty fucking sure what feels good for you will feel amazing to me as well.”

You just nod your head licking your lips as he reaches between you and him and positions himself to your center. He looks you in the eyes one last time, as if he is asking for the final permission and when you nod, brushing his hair out of his forehead, with one slow but confident push he is inside you.

You gasp at the feeling, given the fact that it’s been so long since you’ve been with someone and he is pretty gifted when it comes to his length. But he lets you take your time to adjust to the feeling, staying still and peppering your face with gentle kisses.

“Y-You can move,” you tell him quietly.

“Sure?”

“Yeah,” you nod and moving your hands to the back of his neck you let out a moan as he slowly starts rocking his hips back and forth.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he growls into your neck.

At first it feels a little uncomfortable and strange, but you start to loosen up and do what Adam told you; just focus on yourself. Pulling your legs up you let him hit a way better angle, making you moan as he thrusts inside you and you slowly start to find what feels the best for you.

“You good?” he asks breathing heavily and you just nod, biting into your bottom lip as you wrap your arms around his neck. “Do you want to switch it up?”

“Like… me on top?” you ask unsurely.

“It’s an option.” “Um, yeah,” you say, trying to keep your confidence as he wraps an arm around you and carefully flips the two of you over, so you are now sitting on him. You start moving your hips, not too sure what you should really be doing.

“Relax, just do whatever feels good for you,” he comforts you, his hands holding onto your hips as he gently starts guiding you, giving you a direction to start.

It takes a few seconds to finally find what you enjoy the most and when you do, you just go for it.

“Yes, fuck!” he moans, his head sinking into the pillow. Reaching up his hands cup your breasts as you buck your hips up and down, taking up the pace that feels just right.

“Adam,” you moan his name, hands on his chest as you keep moving, feeling your orgasm building up inside you.

“Yeah, you’re doing so fucking great,” he groans, thrusting his hips up matching your rhythm and you whimper from the feeling.

He pushes himself up into a sitting position, wrapping his arms around your body, your hands on his bare shoulders as you just keep moving and panting, your cheek pressing against his. Turning he kisses your jawline, one hand sliding down to your ass, the other one up into your hair at the back of your head.

“Fuck,” he growls and you know he is close, but so as you.

You pick your pace up, desperate for release, you let your head fall back and his lips meet the soft skin on your neck, kissing down on your throat and the moment his fingers dig into your skin at your ribcage you explode.

“Fuck!” you gasp, falling out of your rhythm as your orgasm washes over your body. You hear Adam grunting as he thrusts a couple more times before he comes as well.

Your panting fills the silence in the room in the next few seconds as you come back down from your high, eyes turning back to Adam who is already looking at you in awe.

“What?” you shyly ask.

“And you thought you would disappoint,” he grins kissing your shoulder. “You fucking… sex goddess.”

“Stop!” you chuckle, leaning down you kiss him softly, the raw passion is gone and replaced by a deeper, sensational feeling.

“You don’t regret it, right?” he asks a little later when the two of you are lying next to each other on your sides, facing each other, his hand playing with yours on the pillow.

“No, of course not,” you smile as he laces his fingers together with yours and pulling your hand to his lips he places a chaste kiss to the back of your hand.

“Alright. Good.”

“This is so crazy,” you exhale softly, watching him in awe.

“What’s crazy?”

“How this all turned out to be. So different from what I imagined.”

“What did you originally imagine?” he asks with a curious smirk on his full lips.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” you admit chuckling. “But not this for sure.”

His hand reaches out and he pulls you closer to him, legs tangling together as he kisses the tip of your nose, making you smile.

“Well, this is our life now. You are stuck with me.”

“What a tragedy,” you tease him, earning him to squeeze your hip gently. “The greatest tragedy of all times,” you add making him chuckle.

Making yourself comfortable in his arms you feel your eyelids getting heavier with each blink. Kissing his lips softly one more time you let them close and stay closed as Adam kisses your forehead.

“Promise me you’ll be here when I wake up,” he whispers and you open your eyes looking at him, seeing that need for validation in his eyes.

“I’m here to stay, don’t worry,” you reassure him before you let your eyes close again and this time, you slowly drift to sleep, feeling his fingers gently caressing your side until the very last moment you’re awake.

You smile to yourself upon hearing the front door open and close and when you see Adam walk in a moment later you get up from your bed to greet your boyfriend the proper way on his birthday.

“Hey,” you smile at him kissing his lips softly.

“Hi, I missed you,” he grins giving your ass a gentle squeeze before letting go of you and walking over to your bed he throws himself onto it with a tired sigh.

“How was your day?”

“Just the usual, nothing extra. The guys on set got me a cupcake,” he chuckles to himself.

“That’s cute,” you say crawling onto the bed, thinking about how adorable he would look like with a tiny cupcake compared to his size.

Reaching over to your nightstand you grab the white envelope you’ve had prepared for him, his name written on it in cursive to make it look fancy.

“Happy birthday,” you hand it to him with an excited smile.

“Y/N, I told you no gifts!” he looks at you with narrow eyes. He really did say he doesn’t want anything for his birthday, just to be with you, the only person he is interested in as he said. But you just couldn’t contain yourself and you had a funny idea about his gift.

“I know, but it’s not really a gift. It’s just… something I owe you.”

“Is this a pair of your panties?” he jokes and you just shake your head at him laughing.

“Just open it!”

He gives you a puzzled look as he opens the envelope and looks inside. He pulls out the twenty and five dollar bills with an even more confused look as he holds them up while you just giggle to yourself.

“What is this supposed to be?”

“This is the twenty-five bucks you paid me when we went out with Hannah. I felt like I should pay you back.”

“But why?”

“Because… I would rather not have you paying for a moment in our relationship that was kind of significant.”

“We really bonded that night, huh?” he chuckles placing a hand on your thigh as he puts the money and the envelope away. “Did you think we would end up here back then?”

“Not then. But I was already having thoughts about you.”

“Me too,” he admits smiling.

It’s kind of crazy thinking back at that day now, two months into your relationship with him, it all feels so surreal. You’ve definitely come a long way from ignoring each other in the apartment to being so madly in love.

Leaning closer he kisses you softly, his hand holding your chin tenderly.

“I love you,” he whispers and a wide smile stretches across your face. It’s not the first time he said it, but every time feels like the first, making your heart flip in your chest, completely whipped for this tall, weird but so amazing man you get to call your boyfriend.

“I love you too,” you mumble back before he grabs you by your waist and a moment later you are lying on the mattress, him on top of you, kissing down on your neck.

“Babe?” he asks stopping at your chest, looking up at you from under his dark eyelashes.

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask for one thing for my birthday?”

“Sure,” you smile down at him, curious about what he wants.

“I want to fuck you on the kitchen counter,” he bluntly states, and you just chuckle, combing his hair with your fingers.

Rolling off the bed you just walk over to the kitchen counter pushing the boxes and plates to the side before hopping onto the top and crossing your leg seductively, smirking at him while he is still on your bed, watching you completely amazed by you.

“Well, happy birthday to you, big boy,” you say in a low tone and it drives him crazy immediately. Jumping off the bed he rushes over to you, uncrossing your legs so he can stand between your knees.

“Best fucking birthday ever,” he grins before pressing his lips to yours.

general/forever taglist for Adam Driver

i do separate taglists for different people, but not for different works of mine! if you ask to be on my Adam taglist, you’ll be tagged in all of my Adam fics!

@superdriver @siren-queen03 @holacherrycola90 @spencer-is-amazing @unusual-kindred-spirits @hailthemightywoecloud @holy-kylo-stars @kowalskibro-adamdriverblog @hurricanesunset @writerandee @luxury-0pps @prncess91 @malefoygal @zaahidahhh @filternotincluded @fire-in-her-veinz

if you’d like to be taken off or added to the list, please let me know!

#adam #sackler #driver #adam sackler #adam driver #hbo girls #adam sackler imagine #adam sackler imagines #adam sackler fanfiction #adam sackler au #adam sackler fiction #adam sackler x reader #adam sackler x you #adam sackler x y/n #adam driver imagine #adam driver fanfiction

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