#general war memories

[shiverhohojiro]

the slightly unsettling realization that your ex-boss is also a person with wants and desires, and that those wants and desires are closer to your own than you might previously have imagined. aka "why does DJ Octavio get to be at the Grand Festival can you imagine how the octolings must feel about this"

Bonus doodle:

[blackswaneuroparedux]

These men are worth your tears. You are not worth their merriment.

- Wilfred Owen

An ex-comrade in arms from my former regiment forwarded me this video. It’s been doing the rounds amongst veterans. It doesn’t need any explanation.

Lest we forget...

[emaadsidiki]

General Andrew Jackson Statue 🏇🏹

[vezdeshashiy]

drew qymaen in his outfit from the figurine

do i need to say i noticed the lack of pants only now

this is the figurine i used as a reference

[keldabekush]

Coruscanti air traffic control droid that flirts outrageously with every vessel coming into its airspace because it finds it funny. Another oc i wont talk about enough.

[wangxian-the-zhijis]

WangXian x “As You Wish” by Faye Wong

If you are interested in xz’s version:

[hux-and-gay]

Kylux Short Shorts Fest 2024: Day 1: Memory Loss

Till You Return

—————————————————————————

look at me still posting day one prompts on day two lmao. Pls reblog I don’t have A03 yet.

Rating: General Audiences

maybe more chapters in the future idk yet

after their shuttle crashes, Hux finds himself stuck on a planet with his rival, yet again. but it seems Ren is not exactly himself.

At first everything was loud, too loud. Sounds so jarring he couldn’t discern what they were or where they were coming from. Everything echoed as if he were underwater. He was bombarded by sensations, rumbling, crashing, the smell of smoke, light flashing. screaming? No that was himself, pain shot through his body, he couldn’t tell from where. Was he bleeding? He wasn’t sure. He reached out grabbing the wall in frontal of him to pull himself from the rubble of the crashed shuttle. He stumbled forward, almost falling into the belly of the ship. He caught himself on his elbows glancing back to see his foot still stuck in the twisted metal of one of the passenger seats. He moved it slightly. It hurt but it didn’t seem to be stuck too tightly. He gritted his teeth and yanked it forward, yelping as the metal cut into his boot. Once it was free he pushed himself to stand, ignoring the throbbing pain shooting through his leg. 

As much as he hated to give any form of credit to the man, If Ren hadn’t been piloting he’d likely be dead. He looked across the compartment where the other troopers had been standing. The ceiling had caved in, their bodies strewn across the floor. He knelt down to them, removing the helmets of those he was able to, and feeling for a pulse. Dead. He grumbled to himself. He’d told them to sit down but they hadn’t listened, now their stupidity was their downfall. He limped to the cockpit door which still seemed relatively intact though the access panel was crushed and it was slightly ajar. He grabbed it and pushed as hard as he could, which was quite difficult while trying no to put weight on his leg. He could see Ren at the pilot's seat through the crack in the door. 

“Ren, A little assistance, please!” He grunted, pushing harder as the door started to move. “Of course this would happen. I’m beginning to think it’s not merely a coincidence that something goes awry every time you’re with me. This is the second crashed shuttle you know.”

There was no response. 

“Ren?”

Silence.

“Typical.” He squeezed his body through the slight opening in the door he had widened, trying to mask his anxiety about Ren’s lack of response. If Ren was injured it would make things a lot more difficult. Though his silence could mean alot more than just injury… he tried to shake away the feeling. He doubted a mere crash landing would kill Kylo Ren, and if it did, well, he should want that, right? 

He didn’t have any time to dwell on these thoughts. Once he was through the door he rushed forward, almost hopping as to not put pressure on his injured leg- which probably looked more ridiculous then he elected to admit. 

Ren was slumped in the pilot's chair, he didn’t appear to be bleeding, which was a good sign. Hux took his head, gently lifting it. His eyes were closed and there was an angry bruise across his forehead. He must have slammed against the console when they landed. He was breathing so he wasn’t dead. Hux wasn’t sure whether to be fortunate about that or not. He got to work quickly, unstrapping him. 

“Of course you're going to make me drag you out of here. Don’t say I never do anything for you.” He said even though he knew Ren wouldn’t hear.

As he began pulling Ren up from the chair he started to smell something acrid, sulfuric. He wasn’t entirely sure what it was but it could not have been good. The air seemed thinner in the cockpit, harder to breathe. He glanced up seeing a gaping hole in the roof. It must have been the atmosphere that was causing the difficulty. He actually had no clue what planet they were on or whether the air was breathable. 

“Kriff” He mumbled to himself. He glanced around taking shallow breaths and trying not to cough at the tightness in his throat. Quickly he squeezed himself back through the door grabbing two of the trooper helmets and limping back over to Ren. Taking one He began shoving it over Ren’s head, which was slightly difficult since he was bigger than the average stormtrooper. 

“the one time that ridiculous helmet of yours would prove useful you don’t have it.” He grumbled finally managing to shove it on, winching slightly at the thought of how much it was probably pressing on the man’s head wound. He pulled the other helmet on himself, taking a deep gulp of air as soon as it was filtered. He squinted through the visor, the helmet was certainly something he had to get used too.

 He grabbed Ren and hoisted him up hissing as he fell back on his leg. He certainly couldn’t carry him, dragging would have to suffice. He couldn’t deny he was slightly amused by the notion. He dragged Ren from the ship, taking the transponder with him. Once they were free of the wreckage he brought them a safe distance away and leaned Ren against a tree before collapsing, panting. He was grateful his co-commander wasn’t conscious to see how much he’d struggled. He glanced down at his foot, the pain was numbing, he didn’t think he could take his boot off without cutting it. He’d have to wait for the first order to arrive. Right… they didn’t know where they were. He picked up the transponder, it was somewhat crushed but salvageable, he took off the front panel and began working on it. So immersed in the inner workings of the machine he didn’t notice Ren stirring. 

“Don’t move!” Ren’s voice cut through the silence.

“Oh your awake?” Hux said not even bothering to look up. “Good I was begging to think you were dead, not that I would’ve been adverse to that.” 

“Silence Imperial scum!”

“Imperial- What?” He sputtered, turning to Ren who was standing over him with a broken tree branch. 

“Ren, what are you talking about?”

“My name’s not Ren.” He growled angrily “You’re probably part of the remnant aren’t you?”

“The remnant?” Hux shook his head realizing what was going on. “Lovely, you were bad enough before, and now you’re delusional. Put the bloody stick down, I'm unarmed, I won’t attack you. I’m not a fool.”

Ren relented and dropped the stick. “You’re bleeding.”

“And you hit your head, evidently very hard.” He responded curtly. He hadn’t noticed he was bleeding, nor was he sure from where, but he wasn’t that concerned about it at the moment. “Ren- or Ben… or whatever you remember your name being, I’m not an imperial.”

“Then why are you wearing a stormtrooper helmet?!” He said, hand lingering over where he’d placed the stick down.

“So are you.” Hux nodded. 

“I am?” He reached up and felt around his head. “Oh, I guess I am-“ He began to take it off. 

“No! Don’t take it off!” Hux yelled, sounding more anxious than he intended to. 

“What? Why! I can barely see and it’s really tight.”

“Not my fault you have a big head.” He scoffed. 

“Hey! no need to insult me!” He said, crossing his arms. 

“Oh what a joy it is to be stuck here with an oversized concussed toddler,” Hux added, shaking his head. “You can’t take the helmet off because it’s filtering the air.”

“Oh! I guess that makes sense.” 

Hux couldn’t help but chuckle slightly. Ren’s agreeable nature was odd, endearing, almost cute. 

“Did you think I put a helmet on your head for fun? I’m beginning to think you’re more brainless than you were before.” 

“Do you want me to get the stick again?” Ren asked bluntly, Hux couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. 

“Oh no, I’m terrified.” He crowed sarcastically. 

“Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine,” Ren added as he paced around the tree. Hux had to admit he was jealous the man could still walk, though he wasn’t sure which injury would have been better.

“If you’re not an imp, then what kind of uniform is that? It looks pretty imperial to me.” He said poking Hux’s shoulder 

Hux scowled and shrugged off the finger. “The empire is long gone, I’m part of the first order, so are you, though it seems you’ve forgotten.”

“First Order…” He sounded out the words slowly and deliberately as if he were testing them on his tongue, trying to see if it felt familiar to say. “What of the republic then?”

“Also gone, aside from a few loathsome troublemakers bent on keeping the Galaxy in turmoil.” 

“But my mother was with the republic…”

“And you’re with the order. Ren I can’t make it make sense to you, I can just tell you what is true.” He slumped his back against the tree picking up the transponder again. He didn’t really think it was important to explain what he knew of Ren’s past to him at the moment. 

“What’s that?” Ren inquired pearling over his shoulder like a curious child. 

“The transponder, communications were shot so I’m fixing it. If not, we won't be able to contact anyone.”

“And you know how to do that?” He sounded impressed. 

“What, fix it? Yes, sometimes engineering skills can be useful.” 

“What happened?” 

Hux mumbled under his breath, the questions were only distracting him and he was in too much pain to put up with Ren at the moment. “Would you calm down with the questions they’re giving me a migraine.”

Ren blinked at him waiting for his answer, making it clear he would only keep asking. 

Hux sighed, “Our shuttle crashed, It’s just over ther-“ As he spoke there was a massive explosion in the direction the shuttle had been, they both jumped slightly as the trees shook with the force of the blast. “Or it was over there.”

“So who are you exactly?” 

“Hux.” He didn’t care enough to add anything more. He was still trying to focus on getting communications back up. 

Ren raised an eyebrow “If I don’t remember who you are then a name isn’t going to do much to help. How do I know you?”

“You’re my co-“ He paused, smirking to himself. “My assistant.” 

“You’re assistant?” I find that hard to believe.”

“Means nothing to me if you don’t believe me. Again I can only tell you the truth.” There wasn’t any reason for him bluff but he had to admit there was some fun to it.  

“Fine then why would you need an assistant?” 

“Well I’m the- the leader, I rule the order.” It was a childish lie he knew, but Ren didn’t have any reason not to believe him, or prove he was lying. 

“So you're like on the senate?”

“Something like that.” It was nothing like that, but why bother explaining something that wasn’t true. 

“Oh- Does it hurt?” Ren kneeled down beside him

“Does what hurt?”

“Your leg, It’s bent weirdly.” He nodded to it, brushing his fingers across his boot but trying not to add any pressure. 

“I’m fine.”

“That’s not what I asked.” He insisted. 

“It hurts, yes, I’d be surprised if it didn’t. But at the moment I’m more concerned about getting off this planet, and dealing with your… Amnesia.” Hux wondered to himself if Ren’s memory loss would be permanent. He doubted it, but it would change a lot of things. One of the leaders of the order not even remembering what the order is could prove a challenge, or an opportunity. He yelped, jolted from his thoughts as Ren suddenly propped up his leg up on his knee.

“What are you doing?!” He choked biting back pain at the sudden movement. 

“Helping you? Come on, don't tell me you can’t bear a little pain.” 

“It’s no use, I can’t take my boot off.”

“Don’t worry I have my-“ Ren’s hand reached down to his belt finding his saber but staring at it curiously as he held up the unfamiliar hilt. “Jeez, how much have I forgotten?”

“I couldn’t tell you, and there is no way you are putting that thing anywhere near my body!” He scooted himself further away from Ren, he’d seen the man use his saber to angrily slice through the finalizer’s walls too many times now, he did not want to become his next innocent victim, especially when Ren was impaired.  

“Relax, it's just a quick cut, I’ll be careful.” He assured him, taking the saber hilt firmly in his hand. 

“THAT IS NOT AT ALL REASSURING!”

“It will hurt a lot less if the boot is off, so stop squirming damn it!” He grabbed his foot and steadied it making it clear Hux did not have a choice in the matter. 

Hux sighed watching as the blade flickered to life. Ren blinked at it, eyes wide. “It’s… it’s Red.”

Hux hadn’t yet thought of how shocking that would be for him. As far as Ren or rather Ben was concerned he was still a Jedi in training, living with his uncle, or his parents, or whoever under, republic rule. He probably didn’t understand exactly what the first order was and Hux wasn’t exactly sure he wanted to deal with him discovering that he was a Sith apprentice. “it’s not yours.” Hux lied, hoping Ren’s memory would eventually return so he wouldn’t have to explain all this later. 

“it isn’t?” He looked at it puzzled. “Then why do I have it?”

“you fought the man who owned it, you won and took his blade.”

“Oh!” he laughed, smiling as he did. “ for a second I thought I’d turned to the dark side!” Hux had never seen him like this before, for a second, it seemed as though he didn’t have a care in the world. Like he was just a young boy again. Seeing this made Hux smile internally then he immediately scowled, shaking off the feeling. That wasn’t something he should enjoy, in fact, he should be disgusted by it. Even if it was in the past, he’d never experienced that kind of happiness, and Ren had, and he threw it away. Now he was looking upon it fondly? Feeling remorse that Ren was no longer like that? He shook his head. He was just getting buried in his thoughts again, there was no attraction to this strange boyish version of Ren. There couldn’t be. 

“Yes, what a crazy notion…” he added dryly, not bothering much to hide his lie. 

Ren got to work carefully cutting through the boot, making sure he wouldn’t singe any skin. Once there was a slit down the side, he removed the boot carefully and worked to unclip the garter that held up Hux’s sock before gently rolling down the fabric. Hux winced, glancing at his swollen bloodied foot. It was definitely twisted in the wrong direction as Ren had pointed out, but the boot had hidden just how bad it was.

“Oh yeah this is definitely bad.” He said studying it. There was obvious concern in his voice. 

“At least I haven’t lost several years of my memory.” Hux jested. 

“yeah well if you didn’t let me take your boot off, you might’ve lost a foot.” He interjected, paying him a serious glare. 

“I think that’s a bit of an overexaggeration” Hux added, rolling his eyes. In reality though his foot had gone numb, he wasn’t actually sure how bad it exactly was. 

“Hux, the boot was cutting off your circulation, your foot is purple!”

It took Hux a second to process what he said. However it wasn’t the comment on his injury that stumped him, it felt odd to hear Ren say his name right now. He felt like more of a stranger than the man he’d known for several years. “Why are you helping me? You don’t even remember who I am and I haven’t exactly been cordial.”

“Well, I’m your assistant right? Isn’t it my job to assist you?” There was a sarcastic tone to his voice and Hux tried hard not to laugh. “Plus why would I just leave you in pain? Is that something I normally would do? Cause If so, then I guess I’m not a very good guy.”

Hux paused thinking about the question. “I- I don’t know. I suppose not.” It's true. Ren had hurt him in bursts of anger when his powers got the best of him, but he never felt that his life was threatened by Ren. Perhaps he should have, but sometimes he felt as though there was this unspoken bond between them. They both saved each other's lives on several occasions, Though they never spoke of it openly. And despite all their arguments they had always paired well together and been successful on their missions. 

“Look,” Ren said, his voice sounded oddly somber, and genuine, “ I don’t know how much of what you’ve told me has been true, you very well could be lying to me right now. But what I do know is you pulled me from the shuttle or whatever or wherever I was. I was injured and unconscious, but now I’m safe because of you. That has to mean something doesn’t it? I may not be able to see your face through that helmet, but there’s something about you that feels familiar. Safe. You’re someone that I trust. I know that. Even if you lie to me. There’s something about you that tells me you’re important to me even if I can’t remember why. So whatever kind of person I am normally, I must value you very highly.”

Hux was stunned. He wasn’t sure what to say. Ren valued him? It was all too surreal. surely It had to be because of the injury? Naturally, he was just delusional, concussed, confused. He’d overheard countless times Ren complaining to Snoke, asking the Supreme Leader why Hux was still around and grumbling about his appointment as co-commander. There was no way these two men could be the same person. But deep down, Hux knew what Ren had said was true, and he knew he felt the same. 

“Thank you.” He said quietly. It wasn’t much, but it was all he could think of to say. It was something he rarely said, though Ren wouldn’t know that at the moment. But part of him knew Ren realized it was a special occurrence. 

Ren smiled at him, placing a hand gently on his knee before quickly turning back to his injury. “Good, now shut up and stop moving!”

@lessdenied @fives-ren @jaynesilver @thegeneralorder @diabollicallyangelic

@existing-sadly

@theosb0rnway

@dragonflies-draw-flame @hpdmism @fridayincarnate @tomatette

@transmasc-vampire-is-tired

@bostarsky

@kyluxshortshorts

[samasmith23]

Why Revenge of the Sith remains my personal favorite Star Wars movie

I think one of the main reasons I have such a fondness for Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith in particular amongst the entire saga (controversial opinion I know, but ROTS is my personal favorite Star Wars film period...) is because of the experience I had with this movie as a kid growing up!

This film came out in 2005 when I still would have been in the 3rd Grade, and I had already grown up loving the Star Wars franchise, watching the unaltered VHS copies of the Original Trilogy, as well as Episodes I & II on DVD constantly as a child. So when I started seeing tons of trailers and promotions for Episode III popping up, you'd better believe that I was incredibly huped about this film! I still remember seeing the initial teaser trailer for Revenge of the Sith when I first saw Pixar's The Incredibles back in 2004, and you'd better believe that little kid me was excited as all heck!

I personally remember the build-up and anticipation for Episode III being wild back in the day, since not only was this being promoted as the "final entry in the Star Wars saga" since George Lucas stated his intentions to not make an Episode VII at the time (hindsight can be funny sometimes... lol!), but this would be the film that finally answered the question of how exactly Anakin Skywalker turned to the Dark Side and became Darth Vader! Episode III was also promoted as the darkest film in the entire franchise since it was the first to ever receive a PG-13 rating (all the previous movies were rated PG here in the US…). Heck, I remember the PG-13 rating causing a lot of caution and concern among both parents and teachers, since not only did one of my teachers state that my 3rd Grade class was "too young to watch Star Wars Episode III," but when my Dad and I finally saw in cinemas, he calmed my Mom down by telling her he would cover my eyes if any scene got overly violent. Fortunately, my Dad did not end up not having to shield my eyes... although funnily enough he almost did so during the scene when Anakin ignited his lightsaber in front of the younglings before it immediately cut away (so their deaths occurred offscreen...). It wasn't until I was much older that I later learned that the primary reason Episode III was given the PG-13 rating was that in addition to Lucas’ personal recommendation due to the film’s darker tone, the rating was specifically aimed at the immolation scene on Mustafar when Anakin is burned alive by the lava after losing his duel with Obi-Wan.

When I finally saw Revenge of the Sith in theaters in May of 2005, to say that I was completely blown away by the film would be a massive understatement! Not only was I completely immersed in the sheer epic scale of the space and lightsaber duels, but the aesthetics of the planets like Utapau & Mustafar, as well as creatures & droids like General Grievous, captured my imagination to entirely new levels that surpassed even the previous Star Wars films. Heck, General Grievous in particular was a character that I became completely obsessed with as a kid in a similar manner to how countless other Star Wars fans are completely enamored by Boba Fett (both for his badass character design, as well as his status as a Jedi-killing cyborg who wields 4 lightsabers simultaneously while also foreshadowing Anakin's similar future transformation into a being "more machine than man")!

However, the elements of Revenge of the Sith that especially captivated my young mind in the theater were the portrayal of Anakin Skywalker's turn to the Dark Side, as well as Chancellor Palpatine's rise to power as the Emperor. Before the movie's release, I would constantly speculate about what exactly would cause Anakin to become Darth Vader (little kid me came up with wild theories such as him being mind-controlled into being evil via Sith lightning or some such bullcrap... lol!) and the revelation that Anakin turned to the Dark Side primarily out of fear of his wife Padmé dying at childbirth was certainly not what I was expecting back then. At the same time though, this plot point made perfect sense to me and I couldn't help but be engrossed in the whole Greek/Shakespearean tragedy portrayal of Anakin's descent into darkness being motivated primarily out of love. Additionally, as I continued to rewatch Revenge of the Sith on DVD and Blu-Ray as I grew older, I began noticing more of Anakin's growing frustration and distrust with the Jedi council, and how it heavily correlated with the political themes about the corruption of democracy and the rise of fascism (which makes both the Order 66 montage and Padmé’s line, “So this is how liberty dies… with thunderous applause,” hit even harder)! Furthermore, Palpatine himself made for such a phenomenal main antagonist & master manipulator, with scenes such as him telling Anakin the legend of Darth Plagueis story at the Coruscant opera house as well as his reveal as Darth Sidious being particularly chilling standouts for me!

While some of those more complex themes went over my head as a 3rd grader, Revenge of the Sith was probably one of my earliest exposures to darker forms of storytelling dealing with flawed characters & complex themes. Elements that I now actively search for in my consumption of media, ranging to films, comics, TV, and video games. Additionally, as a child these aforementioned elements made me rewatch Episodes I & II with an even greater appreciation and attention to Anakin’s gradual downfall and Palpatine’s manipulations which all culminated in Episode III. As a kid, I used to primarily focus on the action scenes in Star Wars films above all else, but as an adult elements such as the corruption of bureaucracy with the Jedi Order, the downfall of democracy & the rise of fascism with the Old Republic's devolving into the Galactic Empire, and the Shakespearean tragedy of Anakin Skywalker's transformation into Darth Vader are the elements of the Prequels that continue with stick with me!

It's for this reason that despite whatever flaws Revenge of the Sith might have along with the rest of the Prequel Trilogy, it honestly still remains my personal favorite Star Wars film in the entire saga, followed closely by both Return of the Jedi and The Last Jedi (which means that my Top 3 Star Wars films include one from each trilogy! Lol!)! And for the longest time I thought that Episode III would have been the ONLY Star Wars movie I'd ever get the chance to see in theaters... thank goodness I was wrong with the release of the Sequel Trilogy a decade later! Still though... I will forever cherish that initial hype of Revenge of the Sith as my first-ever theatrical Star Wars experience!

[trooperst-3v3]

Hello this is Jorbla Babden from battu medical contacting you on your recent communication with General Hux regarding an elevator maintenance request and concerns of the late supreme leader. We are informing those the he was in contact with that while on battu he was involved in an accident resulting in serious head trauma. He sustained a concussion which has caused some confusion, such as speaking frequently of Kylo Ren as if he were alive and present. Which is most likely what occurred when he contacted you. He is now recovering at our hospital until he can be transported back to the order. Rest assured none of the damage is permanent side from possible memory loss of the accident but that is typical.

Oh, wow!

He didn't tell me he'd been messaging me from the hospital.

That man really cannot catch a break. I hope his recovery is going well so he can come home tomorrow!

That little false mustache I put on Millicent is only going to stick to her face for so long.

[pokemonfrommemory]

Gen 6? Could it be? :0

[visualratatosk]

Collective memories XII [War], 13

Follow me, — says Visual Ratatosk

[itstimeforstarwars]

My formative years were spent as a lotr fic writer which means that every day I refrain from adding people bursting into song or putting on a play out of boredom in my fics.

[milimeters-morales]

miguel foodpost where he posts a picture of flipside’s destroyed body with the caption “this snd some absolution” and all the comments are pointing out the typo so he just deletes the entire thing

[emaadsidiki]

American Eagle & Cone Waffle 🍦🦅

[alyimoss]

yknow what ive seen a lot of "gaster and chara fucking hated each other" headcanons but ive seen very little of the opposite. which to me is kinda sad bc imo its a better, more fun interpretation.

i like to imagine gaster looked at this hurt, traumatized child and saw a bit of himself in them. and so he offered them advice.

yall know the smile theory? that smiling make monsters stronger in a way? that it can stave off death, even if for a short while, etc? that *thats* the significance of it, the reason why its so tied to gaster? that could very well be the reason chara is known for their smile, too.

i nean- theyre a child who was so badly hurt they were practically obsessed with the concept of finality—a state in which they are too powerful to be hurt by anyone. i can see them not smiling almost at all when they first fell (what is there to smile about?) until they hear from gaster that a smile is protection. when you smile, others cant hurt you as bad. a smile is like armor. he smiles to stay safe because he knows all thats out there, all thats capable of harm.

and from then on chara smiles no matter what. they smile and laugh through the wordt moments. because they know now this is their armor. their protection.

i rhink they would admire gaster. his efforts for monsterkind, his advice to them. i think theyd see him as someone trustworthy (in my own personal headcanon, he knew about their and asriels plan. not fully, i mean, but he knew the lengths chara could go to. and the only reason he knew was because he would do the same. chara told him because they saw a kindred spirit)

i like to think gaster is crushed post charas death. i also like to think that, if chara remembers gaster after their "revival", *then* they would have issues. we know nothing about gaster canonically, sure, but in my own headcanon and theory world, the things he does make less and kess sense to chara, align less with their worldview and their beliefs. and only then do they clash with him. because at first he was someone they genuinely loved, someone they admired.

anyway, i think gaster thought of them almost as family. he cared for them deeply, always ready to give advice or comfort or teach them or. really anything. they would sit and talk for hours about the world and their personal philosophies and findings. i want gaster, like the dreemurrs, to be part of the loving world chara never got to experience on the surface rather than yet another enemy. you know?

[not-so-allegiant-general]

Gingerpilot time!

Hux's mind felt like scrambled protein bar. He remembered his schedule, his name, rank, his duties and loyalties. His ship. And his people. And it was all crystal clear. But... Something was off. Because he knew there were things that he did't remember. Blank spots scattered all over last months. And he knew that because noone ever looked at him like this Resistance pilot. Noone ever said his name with this amount of compassion, care and... Love? But they barely knew each other.

"You've been reconditioned" echoed in his head. No. Not possible. And yet... There was this man. Kneeling before him. Holding his hands. Talking nonsenses about how everything is going to be okey. About finding solution. There was this man calling him Armitage in the warmest way he had ever heard.

"You've been reconditioned"

No. Not possible.

It was middle of the night when Hux finally had a courage to picked up data pad. He was reading his chat with Dameron. Smoking cigarettes and drinking tarine. Recognizing his words but not remembering that he wrote them. He pressed hand to the forehead and took a deep breath. It was authentic without a doubt. And he was terrified.

You've been recondition.

It's not possible. They would never do that to an officer. To him.

He clenched his fingers on datapad and closed his eyes. It was not possible. No. He glanced again on the datapad and turn it off. He laid down on the bed looking at the celling and took comm from a night stand.

"Dameron?" Poe stood up quickly from his bed.

"Arm...Hux? I can go to you if you...."

"No. I want to talk like that." He wouldn't stand seeing pilot's face now. Not after what he just had read. Messages. Lots of messages. His own messages. From professional distance to snarky remarks to something more. Something personal, something warm, something foreign. Poe sighed.

"Alright. Did you... Went through our messages?"

"Half of it. Enough to know that they are authentic. Enough to know that you didn't tell me whole truth." Pilot sat down slowly.

"Yeah. I... I guess i did not. Listen I...I was scared and..."

"What was between us?" Poe took a deep breath and covered his face with hands.

"Something." He mumbled.

"Kriff that. Just tell me! I have enough of unknowns in my mind."

"Alright alright.... We... first you sent us the file. Through this other informant... And he was killed, so we met personally to avoid tracking because you know how they...

"You are babbling Dameron..."

"No no. I have a point. It was in... Some kind of hotel. Motel whatever and we... We talked and we... We kissed and... We got a room and ..."

" Enough." Poe fell silent hugging his legs to the chest. Hux was silent for a long time. "Once?"

"No." He whispered. " No. We had met at least five and every time... And through messages."

"I... I will read rest of them." Hux ended the connection throwing comm on the bed and covering his face. Poe took a deep breath trying to stop tears.

"It's... Fine buddy. I am fine" he looked at BB8. " no... I am not going to sleep. I will wait. I will wait." He whispered and took a deep breath "he needs time. And i can give him time..all time he needs." He laid down. Hux commed three ours later. Poe took a deep breath. "Hey... Hey Armiatge" he whispered. His voice was shaking. Silence "Please say something. Anything."

" I don't remember any of this Dameron."

It was painful. The worst type of pain he ever felt.

"And there is no chance i will get back this memories." Poe covered his mouth. He knew that of course. Since he was told about reconditioning. He knew that there is no hope for that. But it was still hard. "I... Don't even know if i am the same person you fell in love with."

Poe prepared himself for the next hit. You can take it. You will be fine. You have friends, and father. Maybe you will visit him and...

Hux took a deep breath. His mind desperately trying to work. Being in a rebel camp as a FO General was far from perfect. Although they did not show any signes of violence or bad intentions towards him. And Dameron. Clearly despread. Clearly shaken. In love... With him?

And then there were things that Hux didn't want to acknowledge. The fear. The loneliness. It was crushing him. That uneasy feeling of not knowing witch thoughts are his or is any of them truly belongs to him. Memories or lies. Decisions or orders. And overwhelming hopelessness.

"Armitage?" Poe whispered.

"I...I think i would like you to come here.?" Please. I am scared. Its cold. Its dark. Please. I don't want to be alone. "That is if you are willing to... I will understand if... "

"No! I mean... I mean Yes! I want to! I ... Kriff... Five minutes." He disconnected before Hux could say something. He dressed up quickly and run as fast as if his x-wing was in flames. He rushed to the cells waking up the guards and started typing code to the barrier.

"G..general Dameron?"

"What's the code?"

"I... I don't think i should."

"What's that pffasking code!?"

Guard quickly unlocked the barrier. Poe went inside and sat down next to Hux on the bed. His eyes were red, his skin pale. He took a drag form cigarette, his hand was shaking. And Poe was speechless.

"I... " Love you. Adore you. Can't live without you. Want to kiss you. Want to hold you. "Armitage" he whispered instead.

"I never liked that name you know. People always said it like an insult. But... Well it doesn't sound too bad when you say it"

"Can I... Can i hug you?" Hux tilted his head back slightly.

"Already want to get your hands all over me? Take me to dinner first I am not that easy." He forced a little smile. Poe snorted softly.

"I will be appropriate i promise." Hux nodded slowly and Dameron pulled him closer and hugged him. Hux's lips trembled and he swallowed tears. It felt familiar and in the same time so new. And distant. He leaned into his touch. "Kriff you are so thin."

"Thinner than you remember?"

"Yeah" Poe swallowed "Yes. Pffasking hell i want to kill everybody who did this to you."

"They are most probably dead." He took another drag from a cigarette and put it out.

"Do you need something?" Poe asked silently " i will get you out of this cell as soon as possible. But we are a little overcrowded right now... "

"I don't mind. I would appreciate walk though. I can't remember the last time i was on a fresh air." He smiled bitterly. He didn't remember lots of things.

"No problem. I... Would you like to go on a date with me?" Hux snorted.

"Date?"

"Yeah. Like you know, a walk, dinner maybe. Maybe i can show off a little." he winked" My x-wing or... Whatever. And we will talk and... "

"That's what you want to do with me. Show me your x-wing?" Hux grinned.

"I... Oh my ... Stop that now. I am proposing a sweet innocent date."

"Please Dameron. I may be not in my best and have holes in memory but i am smart... You don't want to go for a walk or eat a dinner or... "

"I do." Poe smiled "I do. I... Alright we were quite involved, and we were writing a lot about that. But it was a war. And... I never knew if i will see you again. And we actually had one very sweet date with walk and dinner. And lots of talking. Armitage...i know what you think. Yes? I know you and your wicked cogs in your mind. It's not an exchange, you are safe here, it's not about protection. No way. I. Love. You. Even if you don't remember it i do. And i want to do it all again. And... I know that you are not the same person and if you will decide to leave i will respect that. So Yes. I want to take you to a sweet date if you would like to. I want to get to know you, introduce you to my father. I want to call you my boyfriend, marry you one day and die knowing that i did everything to make you safe and happy."

"I am... confused." Hux whispered fixing his eyes on the ground. And he was. Confused and tired.

"I know. I know. I... Can i touch your hair?" Hux snorted and laughed trying not to cry.

"Why... Why do you even ask?" He shook his head. Because i don't want to make any mistakes. Because i don't want you to be scared. Nor mad. Because i kissed you once without permission and you got scared. It was wrong. I should have ask.

"Because i care."

Hux snorted.

"You can't." Poe nodded shortly still holding him. "You... Are not going to?"

"You said no"

"I suppose i did. " Huxe smiled amused looking at him. "Dameron..."

"Yes?"

"I would want that. Date that is. The rest of it... Ah i am not the best in whole meeting fathers and marrying procedure... "

Poe smiled.

"Yeah. Let's start with a date." Hux nodded and closed his eyes. "Hey... You should rest. You look bad. Sleep?" Hux nodded again. " Lay down."

"Will you... Stay?"

"If you want me to i will."

"I..."

"It's alright. If you want to stay alone. Just. Have a comm close if you will need anything. And i mean... Anything...a... A tea, a hug, a..."

"A Star Destoryer?" he frowned glancing at him.

"Well....Maybe not that. Nothing deadly alright?" Redhead snorted.

" I want... You can... Stay with me. I would want that. I think." There was something reassuring about pilot's presence that held him together. He had that unpleasant feeling that he will fell apart if pilot disapear. And he was not ready for that. So he just pulled out another useless smile.

"Sure" Poe said looking at him as if he could truly see him. Hux sighed. Did he knew him that well? " Do you want a bedtime story?" Hux blinked surprised" I am serious. I know the best ones" Armitage snorted and shook his head.

"Go on. Entertain me." Poe told him his favourite. The one that he always told him through the comm when they could talk and Hux couldn't sleep.

And Hux couldn't escape the feeling that he lost something. Irrevocably. Irreversibly. And forever.

But when he felt Poe holding him closely he thought that maybe he gained more than he lost.