#gems and stones | meme

[13urningstars]

@almost-nearly-perfect

Cobalt hands over vermeil, celestial aura quartz, emerald, topaz... and some very tiny, almost unnoticeable bits of okenite and morganite.

Celestial Aura Quartz: Trust Emerald: Love Morganite: Fear of losing you Okenite: "You belong with me" Topaz: Comforting Vermeil: Happiness

" Awww darling!! "

Cobalt in return for her jeweled offerings, receives a kiss. Not a cheek kiss, or a forehelm kiss, but a quick soft chaste kiss right on her lips.

[reallyunluckyrunaway]

(Robert Downy Jr. and Josh Brolin on the set of Infinity War.)

[cartoonico]

[crazytapog]

[luckyeyeink]

“I'm the world's most temping snack. Everything about me invites you in: my voice, my face, even my smell. As if a need any of that. As if you could out sauce me! As if you could swear me off! I'm designed to fry.” -Edward McCullen

[jisreal64]

Um… if that’s the case, then where did these mfs come from? 😐😑😐:

anyways kidney stones are gems :]

[catsvrsdogscatswin]

I started reading Discworld earlier this year –because I figured it's a cultural treasure and I may as well get around to it by now– and like, I knew something about Terry's ability to sneak underhanded puns into the texts –I've seen the posts. I'd also read Good Omens, even if at that point I couldn't disentangle who was writing what.

So I entered the books fully like the Stay back, slut meme, except regarding wordplay. I was reading with a fine-toothed comb. I was squinting at every name and testing every phoneme. Not necessarily because I don't like puns or didn't enjoy the idea of getting caught by surprise, mind you, just that I'd heard very good things about Terry Prachett's humor and I didn't want to miss any of his jokes and with wordplay stuff if you don't catch it, you'll never know it existed.

I caught a lot of stuff, and even when I didn't get some of the references (the series stretches across a lot of decades I wasn't born in) I could still at least tell when he was making them. I made it out of my grand read with a pat on the back and a certain pleasure in the knowledge that I had enough pop-culture and etymological awareness to not let Terry pull a fast one on me.

In classic Pratchett fashion, turns out I was dead wrong.

I was rereading Soul Music, because even if I'm late to the party I still enjoyed the Discworld books immensely, and I got to the scene where a bunch of schmucks with no music knowledge (or talent) are infected by the spirit of rock n' roll and descend in a horde upon a guitar shop. The owner starts off trying to sell them decent instruments, but, soon realizing his new flow of customers couldn't play a triangle and are more interested in the look of the thing anyways, he promptly starts pulling out his scrappiest, crappiest pseudo-instruments (Ankh-Morpok, amiright) and sticking a bunch of paint, glitter, and ankh-stones on them for the look of things before selling them at marked-up prices.

Ankh-stones were first mentioned in Sourcery, I think, and were used in the creation of the fake Archchancellor's hat. They get mentioned in other books on and off as a source of bedazzlement that's pretty clearly meant to be a riff on rhinestones. First time I read about them, I went "oh what a nice little bit of worldbuilding, of course some gems would get named after local stuff" and thought no more on it. But like…

Ankh-stones.

Rhinestones. Rhine-stones.

The infamously nasty River Ankh that flows(?) through Ankh-Morpok, and the River Rhine, a real river that exists.

I just about swore and hit the table when I clocked that one, because I went into the series ready for it, I was looking for it, and Terry still fuckin' got me good.

[simpinformonkies]

Can I request a Redson x Calm!S/O reader, who's his partner in crime and a powerful earthbender (cause they keep him grounded) please and thanks.

Sorry this made me laugh so hard when I first saw this ask, the joke broke my sense of humor im so sorry. Anyway, here ya go!~

~~~

RED SON

-The first time he met you all those years ago, he thought you were just some weakling human that decided to piss him off, but you just raised a brow at his behavior and slammed your heel on the dirt, slamming a pillar of stone and dirt into his gut and sending the Demon Bull Prince flying off.

-Oh, he was furious at the audacity.

-But just as much, Red Son was interested; humans don't just control an element as well as you do. It was like the earth itself was your sandbox that you did whatever you wanted with; be that helping people, growing plants, or destroying his Bull Clones.

-After a while though, people just kept demanding things of you, and you just... kind of got tired of it. So what'd you do?

-Why, go to Red Son and ask for a partnership of course!

-Why? You have no idea; you just hated being demanded things of by people that don't even respect you.

-Red Son at least respected your power, even if he also hated you.

-Baby steps people, baby steps.

-So you commit crimes with Red Son, being like that silent soldier in the background that the heroes never notice until its too late and you're already attacking them. You always had Red Son's back, and stopped the worst of his injuries from happening.

-Especially from MK. Sweet kid, but a little much sometimes.

-Ya know that meme of 'the demon lord having a sweet tiny spouse, but the spouse being scarier'? Yeah, you're much scarier than Red Son is, because while he's always angry and yelling, you're sweet and kind that can flip on a dime if the right buttons are pressed.

-Anyway, you're Red Son's "rock" essentially, being there for him through thick and thin. This means you're very close to him and following him every day (or, alternatively, he's always following you, even around the council but acting like he's the one guiding you. His mother thinks its adorable.)

-After confessing to each other (in which Red Son acted like a total tsundere the entire time, let's be honest), you constantly do little stuff with your earthbending to show how much you love that. Whether that be making statue of a heart on 'fire', or doing little stuff to make him happy or his workload easier.

-Housespouse™

-Red Son often gives you gifts that mainly consist of gems (as a homage to your element of earth) and always does romantic things with you while attempting to act nonchalant or cool.

-Keyword being attempting.

~~~ BONUS:

-Your 'scary' side came out when Azure and his goons attacked the Demon Bull Family, attempting to seal away the others. You send shards of earth flying at Peng, aiming for his wings (and hitting them in quick succession) before earthbending binds and pillars at Azure in hopes of defeating him.

-Unfortunately, you forgot Yellow Tusk exists, and he bound you with magic, and then you were sealed in the scroll of memory.

-(And if that happened to make Red Son so angry that his flames sparked a brilliant blue, then only he and the brotherhood would know such secrets.)

~~~

Hope you enjoyed this!~

[aurumacadicus]

Number 11? For the ask meme?

Cleaning up after a wreckage was always an... experience.

Steve hadn't wanted to be bothered now, after the wars, and had chosen the island he lived on because it was impossible to get to except by flight. Even if, by some fluke of fate, a ship managed to avoid Scylla and Charybdis, the water flowed so quickly past his island that no ship could possibly steer toward it in time to land. Not that they could. Charybdis's swallowing and belching sucked under any ships that came close.

The only downside was that pieces of the wreckage settled on his shores, and a mess could grow into something that ships could land at. Crude docks, Bucky had called them once. So he had to travel the shore of the island and pick up pieces wood, bring them together to burn. It wasn't all bad, though. Sometimes casks of wine or baskets of fruit or meat washed up, and he could add it to his makeshift larder.

This ship hadn't had much on it, Steve figured. Probably a skeleton crew, only enough supplies to get to the next port. That wouldn't have been enough to man the ship through the channel. Either they needed enough crew to sacrifice six to Scylla, or enough supplies that the ship would be heavy enough it wouldn't be buffeted about by Charybdis's belching waters. Steve had seen that desperation sink many ships in his time on the island.

So he got the fright of his life as he lifted a scrap of sailcloth and a body moaned beneath it. "Oh fuck," he gasped, dropping the sailcloth.

It collapsed on top of the body again, and the poor thing whimpered. Steve remembered, belatedly, that sailcloth was heavy to normal people. He dropped the lumber he was holding to the side and reached down, hurriedly dragging the cloth up again. He'd only discovered a body once before, because Charybdis's gaping maw usually sucked down everything, and that body had been decidedly dead.

This one, though, he realized, dropping the sailcloth on top of the wood, was only half dead. He stooped to turn him onto his side, wondering if he was dreaming. Scylla and Charybdis had never left a human alive.

Then he saw the glowing blue pendant hanging from a gold chain around the man's neck, and he understood. He recognized the metalwork--Hephaestus's handiwork was unmistakable, especially to him, having wielded a shield the god had gifted to him personally. The gem took him a moment, but then it struck him, the glow coming from deep inside the blue stone. The Titan Theia herself had blessed it, and its gleam came from the man being worthy of carrying it.

To be blessed by a God and a Titan. Steve had never heard of such a thing. He gathered the man into his arms, unable to help his wings extending from his back, feathers glittering silvery-white as he carefully took the man's face in his hand and tipped it toward the sun. Eos might know him. Barring that, perhaps Helios. Worst case scenario, he could show the man's face to Selene. One of Theia's children must know him.

The man's olive skin nearly glowed in the early morning light, and Steve understood why Theia had blessed him. A child of the skies. Hephaestus didn't have much love for humans though. He wondered what the man had done to earn such a boon as the god's handiwork on a piece of jewelry. Perhaps he should go up and ask.

But that was an idea for later. The man needed his immediate attention. "I'm going to take care of you, okay?" he asked gently, brushing the back of his hand over the man's cheek.

The man's pendant grew brighter for a moment, and Steve couldn't help but feel he'd taken on a task set by a god with his question, but somehow, he couldn't bring himself to regret it.

[pupphe-additions]

✴Jamie's Relationship With BTS✴

Jamie x RM

Quote: “We cannot become what we want by remaining what we are.” Dynamic: Fatherly Love

RM’s contact in Jamie’s phone is “Father Joonie”

Jamie says that RM is very protective of him and he’s always babied him.

Jamie says that RM is like Ametrine, which is a crystal that’s a combination of both amethyst and citrine. The younger idol has hand made RM a necklace with the gem but hasn’t gotten around to gifting it to him yet.

Jamie says that they are both really clumsy and when they are together it’s a mess.

Jamie finds RM to be really goofy but admits they aren’t close. 

Jamie says that RM gives him a lot of advice and that RM keeps his head on his shoulders.

Jamie admits that sometimes he will send RM memes when he doesn’t know what to say to the older idol.

RM was the first idol that Jamie ever met even before becoming a trainee.

Jamie admits that RM is a big reason why he auditioned to an agency to begin with, he finds RM to be very cool.

Jamie likes to make RM gifts but he’s always too afraid to give them to him so he just has a little box full of handmade goodies to eventually give the older idol.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x Jin

Quote: “The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.” Dynamic: Motherly Love

Jin’s contact in Jamie’s phone is “Mother Jinnie”

Jin is known to scold Jamie if he is late for anything and he finds out.

Jamie says that sometimes Jin feels more like a mother figure than a father figure.

Jin and Jamie have eaten together a few times and Jin always makes sure that Jamie eats as much as he wants.

Jin has offered to help Jamie become a better actor.

Jamie says that Jin is like Golden Calcite and he has made the idol a bracelet using the stone, Jin wears it often.

Jamie has given Jin an alpaca plush and in return Jin has given Jamie a racoon plush.

Jamie and Jin send each other food pictures most of the time when they talk to show each other what they are eating that day.

They share dad jokes with one another and always laugh over them.

Jin always treats Jamie with kindness and he sort of took Jamie under his wing when he joined Hybe.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x Suga

Quote: “I can do anything I set my mind to” Dynamic: Golden Retriever X Black Cat

Suga’s contact in Jamie’s phone is “Agust Kitty”

Jamie said that when he first met Suga he almost cried because he’s always looked up to Suga as a role model.

Jamie says he wants to be a great producer like Suga one day.

Suga shows extreme gentleness and kindness toward Jamie, and Suga has said he sees a bit of himself in Jamie.

Jamie says he’d really like to do a song with Suga in the future and he would love to work with Suga on a big project if he could.

Jamie says that Suga is like Fluorite and has gifted Suga multiple pieces of Fluorite like a handmade necklace and a handmade bracelet as well that matches it.

Suga enjoys when Jamie sends him pictures of his cats so Jamie does that often. In fact most of their messages are just the two of them sending pictures back and forth.

Suga is extremely protective of Jamie and constantly checks up on the younger idol even though they aren’t the closest.

Suga teases Jamie sometimes because of how shy Jamie is around him, he finds it cute and endearing.

Jamie says that Suga is one of his biggest inspirations as an artist and it’s an honor to know him.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x J-Hope

Quote: “When you focus on the good, the good gets better.” Dynamic: Sunshine Duo

J-Hope’s contact in Jamie’s phone is “Sunshine Hobi”

Jamie and J-Hope are both sunshines and always make each other smile and laugh.

J-Hope says that he has a big soft spot in his heart for Jamie and that he wants to get to know him better.

Jamie says that J-Hope is like Green Jade and he hasn’t gifted him any yet but would like to, he just hasn’t had the chance to yet.

Jamie says that he wants to dance with J-Hope on a stage if he can as he feels he could learn a lot from him.

Jamie says that when he first met J-Hope he was extremely anxious and afraid of what the older idol would think of him and was on his best behavior.

Jamie finds J-Hope very charming and outgoing but he gets nervous around him for some reason.

J-Hope and Jamie don’t talk a lot through messages so they aren’t that close, but both have said they’d like to be closer friends.

J-Hope says he sees a lot of potential in Jamie and hopes to see him thrive as an idol.

Jamie enjoys when J-Hope messages him first because it makes Jamie feel less awkward.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x Jimin

Quote: “People cry, not because they’re weak. It’s because they’ve been strong for too long.” Dynamic: Golden Retriever x Calico Cat

Jimin’s contact in Jamie’s phone is “My Calico Cat”

Jamie loves watching Jimin perform and he finds Jimin’s dancing to be captivating.

Jamie thinks that Jimin is really beautiful inside and out and he’s always afraid to message him first.

Jamie says that Jimin is like Hematite and he’s given Jimin the stone and a handmade necklace with it as well. Jimin says it’s something he cherishes and he doesn’t really take it off often.

Jimin has a habit of asking if Jamie has eaten if he hasn’t Jimin urges him to eat when he can, Jamie also does the same to him.

Jamie has stated that Jimin likes to tease him a lot.

Jimin calls Jamie a puppy and says that he can be clingy when he feels scared or nervous.

Jamie and Jiimin don’t message each other a lot unless it’s in the group chat.

Jamie wants to learn to dance as beautifully as Jimin and will often push himself when it comes to dancing as he knows he can do better.

Jimin always listens to Jamie if he needs to rant or vent about anything.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x V

Quote: “I like you because you’re weird like me.” Dynamic: Yapps, Yapps More

V’s contact in Jamie’s phone is “#1 Handsome Man”

Jamie says that V makes him flustered because he finds V to be very charming and handsome.

Jamie says that V is like Moss Agate and he’s made V a handmade necklace using Moss Agate that the older idol adores with his whole heart.

V gives Jamie advice when he can and has told the younger idol if he needs anything he can come to BTS for anything.

V is protective of Jamie and he says that he sees Jamie as a little brother and he wants to see him thrive.

V and Jamie tend to feed off of each other’s energies so they can get a bit wild when together.

Jamie likes to send V any cool photos he takes and see what the other idol will rate it out of ten.

Jamie sends any pictures of himself to the group chat before posting them to get their opinions.

V always checks up on Jamie to make sure he’s taking care of himself.

Jamie would like to work with V one day if he is allowed to.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Jamie x Jungkook

Quote: “You’re my favorite place to go to when my mind searches for peace.” Dynamic: Hidden Gem Friendship/Lowkey Besties

Jungkook’s contact in Jamie’s phone is “Best Kookie”

Jamie is closest to the maknae line as they are all in a group chat together created by Jungkook, out of all the members of BTS Jungkook is who Jamie is closest to.

Jungkook is extremely protective of Jamie and he has stood up for the younger idol a few times already.

Jamie and Jungkook play games together from time to time.

Jamie says that Jungkook is like Red Jasper and he has given the idol the stone twice. Jamie says he hasn’t made him any jewelry yet but he wants to make Jungkook a Red Jasper ring or bracelet when he has the chance to.

Jamie goes to Jungkook the most out of all the other BTS members for advice.

Jungkook checks up on Jamie often and will go out of his way to make sure he’s okay.

Jamie says that he talks to Jungkook the most and that if it wasn’t for Jungkook Jamie likely wouldn’t be close with any of BTS.

Jamie wants to rap on a song with Jungkook.

Jamie enjoys cracking jokes with Jungkook and Jungkook says he can see Jamie going far as an idol all he has to do is believe in himself.

[13urningstars]

Jasper... but tentatively.

Jasper: Friendship

" You know you can't take this back now right? "

Words spoken with the biggest of grins. Yes this is how normal friendships are solidified what do you mean?

[girl-mercury]

okay, i'll bite: "timegem" is quite the compelling word! 💎 reveal to us a piece of the war-tinted romance! 🇺🇸

(from the WIP meme, where i listed my many, many WIPs and asked for people to let me know what they're curious about)

This fic is set not long after Captain America: Winter Soldier, and through the power of the Time Gem or whatever the stone is called, Steve makes a wish for a second chance and old dying Peggy is spontaneously young again! How great, now she and Steve can live together here in the future, it all worked out!

... except, she's like 93 years old, in life experience. She doesn't know what a PDF is, okay? She's been married and widowed twice, she has great-grandchildren, and she has spent decades creating the legacy of an intelligence agency meant to keep the world safe, crafting connections across the world to ensure the stability of this institution that can weather its missteps and, she hopes, do more good than bad.

And Steve, her lost love from her twenties, just cannonballed into the side of that institution and blew up her entire legacy, to rightfully destroy the tentacles HYDRA had buried deep within it, but with no thought to preserving anything or anyone SHIELD kept safe, or keeping any of its secrets. Peggy might not have been the most fanatical as some of the Cold War hawks out there, and certainly had pursued the process of accountability for a number of bad containment policies of those decades, but the shades of grey she learned to see and Steve never had the chance to are making their sudden reunion a lot more complicated.

So she decides, time to go on a trip and see the world she had a hand in making, now that she's almost anonymous again. Along the way, she spends time with Fury, Natasha, and Bucky, and eventually finds her way back to Steve.

A SNIPPET:

Peggy slowly blinked awake in the morning sunlight, feeling an ache in her muscles like she had just completed a marathon, which wasn’t that inaccurate, really. She was in Steve’s apartment, and it was 2015, and she was in her twenties, give or take seven decades. It was luxurious, to wake up and be present in knowing where and when she was with a mind she could depend on. (It was also luxurious to have better options for sex than Milt and John asking her over bingo if she wanted to be in a threesome with them. Nursing home hookup culture was not for her, at least not if men were involved.)

Steve was asleep, laying rigidly flat on his back despite not having been limited to an Army cot in years. The sun glinted against his golden hair, and she resisted the urge to run her hand over it, not wanting to wake him. Instead, she pulled button-up shirt from his closet on, leaving the scrubs she’d commandeered from the hospital on the floor, and headed for the kitchen. The coffeemaker was simple and similar enough to the ones she was used to that she was able to get a pot started, after locating the bag of coffee in a cabinet. A quick peek out the front door (after checking for anyone looking in the hallway; she was aware of the security risk) revealed no newspaper on the doormat, which was a shame. Steve’s laptop was on the table, but she hadn’t used a computer in years, and even then it had been one of the big ones in the nursing home where someone had already turned it on and helped her log into her email. She had had a bit more luck with Google searches and saving her favorite news websites, but that had more to do with her understanding of Boolean expressions through codebreaking and programming, decades before anyone dreamed up Google. 

She was younger than some of her grandchildren, but couldn’t figure out these damn computers. She’d have to learn, that and everything else that young people did. It was almost enough to make her tired at the thought. She’d programmed computers in the forties, for heaven’s sake. Then the computers got small and difficult. And turned into phones that weren’t really phones anymore. 

Peggy sighed at herself. No matter what the mirror might say, she was old. 

She was on her second cup of coffee when Steve joined her in the kitchen. “I made a full pot,” she said. “I knew you’d be up eventually."

“I was going to cook you breakfast,” he said, and yawned. “I never sleep this late."

“You must have needed it."

“After last night? Probably.” He smiled, and leaned over to kiss her. “So, how many eggs do you want?"

“Oh, none, thank you. I’m not really a breakfast person, not since my youngest moved out,” Peggy said. 

“More for me, then."

“Do you get the newspaper?"

“Only on the weekends.” Steve took the carton of eggs from the fridge. There wasn’t a lot of other food in there. “Usually I just read the headlines on my phone."

“Well, I want to start getting caught up on the world, since I’m back in it."

Steve cracked eight eggs into the pan. “I think I still have all my bookmarks from when I was trying to get caught up. I can pull them up on the laptop for you."

“I’ve only got a few years to cover, thankfully,” Peggy said and smiled. She got up and poured herself another cup of coffee. “I'm actually  more used to reading briefs, when I was the director, so I may ask Sharon to get a few of her less-busy resources to draft briefs for me. I’m more interested in SHIELD’s involvement, so any analyst who can bring together the public record and the leaked SHIELD files would be best."

“Hill might be able to point you in the right direction, since she’s basically managing what’s left of SHIELD resources these days…"

“Thank you for the offering your bookmarked pages, though,” Peggy said belatedly. “I just have my habits, you know. When you’re in charge of an intelligence organization you don’t get much of a chance for leisurely reading, and a pile of briefs is much more useful to me than anything else."

“I’m sure it is,” Steve replied, and slid the fried eggs out onto a plate, then doused them heavily in hot sauce. Peggy winced as the vinegary smell drifted towards her, the accompanying spice burning her nostrils, but she knew Steve would probably think it was just a pleasant kick. “I haven’t had to deal with that side of things too much, on the strategy and operations side. I’m not sure I’d be too good with the diplomacy."

Peggy snorted. “Stick with your strengths, Steve.” She imagined him in some of the delicate situations she had managed; negotiating operational freedom between autocratic countries sounded explosive, with Steve in the middle of it, yet she had not come to it as a natural, either. “After the war, I had to deal with a lot of men who didn’t know my value, and I tended to charge right through any battle, to show I could punch as hard as they could. But sometimes I had to be more sneaky to get done what I wanted, and… well, you grow into the diplomacy."

“I guess you would,” Steve said. “You’ve lived quite a life, it just feels different now that—"

“That I look like I did when we met?” Peggy asked. 

“That you talk like you did,” Steve said. “You’ve told me stories, over the past few years, but they were just things that happened in the past, if you could remember all the details. Now you’re talking like the director of SHIELD. Hell, you sound like Fury combined with a few of the NSA divisional directors we’ve collaborated with, and maybe a few State Department officials thrown in."

Peggy raised her eyebrows. “You did read my CV at some point, didn’t you?"

Steve laughed. “It looks a little different on paper than sitting at my kitchen table."

“And you didn’t even read the classified CV,” said Sharon, coming around the corner.

“Goddammit, Carter, can you stop breaking into my apartment?” Steve complained.

“Romanoff said you didn’t mind,” Sharon countered. “Hi, Aunt Peggy."

“Romanoff is consistently full of shit. Especially when she’s talking about me."

“Hi, Sharon. You know, you’re going to have to drop the ‘aunt’ sooner or later, before it gets strange,” Peggy said over Steve’s grumbling. 

“Probably, but I’m not used to all this yet,” said Sharon. “I brought you clothes. I had to guess the sizes, but I figured these had enough stretch to make up for anything being the wrong size. I don’t want to cut your morning short, but we’ve got a meeting with Hill."

“I thought we might,” Peggy said, and stood. “Give me fifteen minutes to shower and get ready, and we can go."

“I’ll only take five minutes,” said Steve. “And can you return my spare key, please?"

Sharon let out a laugh. “I don’t need a key, Rogers."

[stra-tek]

Facts about Captain Robau

This was a long-running thread on TrekBBS in 2008-2009, a riff on the "Facts about Chuck Norris" meme. And it had some gems (thanks to all TrekBBS members who participated):

The Kelvin's shields aren't for keeping weapons out... they're for keeping Robau in.

There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Captain Robau.

Spock is constantly shouting in "The Cage" because he can't hear his own voice over the sound of how awesome Captain Robau is.

Sisko and Picard are arent really bald. They just want to be like Captain Robau

The Kelvin doesn't need two warp nacelles to create a symmetrical warp field. Captain Robau simply wills it to happen.

That God head thing in Star Trek V wasn't exiled to the center of the galaxy he went to hide from Captain Robau

That Borg didn't open a gateway to fluidic space to assimilate species 8472 they did to get away from Captain Robau

Captain Robau doesn't sleep. He waits.

Captain Robau doesn't use the transporter. He just leaps down to the surface.

The new Enterprise is being built on the ground because Captain Robau plans to lift it into orbit

Captain Robau can kill two stones with one bird.

When Capt. Robau was born, the only one in the room crying was the Doctor. Never slap Capt. Robau.

Captain Robau does simply walk into Mordor.

Captain Robau doesn't do pushups. He pushed the planet down and then pulls it back up.

In space, Captain Robau can hear you scream.

Captain Robau is hung like a Horsehead Nebula.

Captain Robau once used a crowbar to destroy Ceti Alpha VI. That crowbar later found its way to Black Mesa.

Captain Robau is immune to entropy.

When Captain Robau makes love, he causes a quantum singularity.

Captain Robau's bald scalp is considered an aphrodisiac in...oh, what's that place called? OH. Right.

The universe.

Zod kneels before Robau.

Captain Robau got drunk one night and relieved himself out in the desert. The spot in the desert is now known as the Grand Canyon.

Captain Robau CAN beam through raised shields.

A supernova didn't destroy Romulus, Robau did!

Robau doesn't wear sun screen. The Sun wears Robau screen.

The Great Bird of the Galaxy is the name given to Captain Robau's cock.

Captain Robau was deeply surprised that in VOY: “Threshold” everyone who went at warp 10 didn’t evolve into him. Then he realised, even at their most evolved potential, the Voyager crew are no match for Captain Robau.

Captain Robau never went to Starfleet Academy. He just showed up one day and flew the Kelvin out of spacedock. No one had the balls to question him.

Captain Robau decided to take up pottery one day. He named the result The Guardian of Forever.

Captain Robau told Pluto to fuck off and stop being a planet. It did.

Q used to have a proper name but Captain Robau slapped him so hard he forgot it.

The great barrier exists to protect the other galaxies from Captain Robau.

Stardate 0000.1 was the moment Captain Robau was born.

Sha Ka Ree is Vulcan for Captain Robau.

What does Captain Robau use for a condom?

SPACEDOCK.

[bachibabe]

𝐕𝐈𝐏𝐬 !!

Also known as my mutuals list! Users most dear to my heart in alphabetical order with things that remind me of them below <3 pls lmk if I missed you!!

⊹ ࣪ ˖ AALI જ⁀➴ @tteokdoroki

kittens, fluffy coats, warm mittens, fresh laid snow

⊹ ࣪ ˖ ARSON જ⁀➴ @angsty-microwave

neon purple, cat memes, late nights, living to the fullest

⊹ ࣪ ˖ BRIA જ⁀➴ @planetsano

pastel pink, warm being, fluffy clouds, caring world

⊹ ࣪ ˖ CALLIE જ⁀➴ @oh-katsuki

sunset orange, book stores, regency era, cozy dreams

⊹ ࣪ ˖ DEJA જ⁀➴ @dejwrld

rose quartz, puppy dogs, mall trips, extra sugar in tea

⊹ ࣪ ˖ JEN જ⁀➴ @taiphoric

jade stones, headphones, a welcome home, strong soul

⊹ ࣪ ˖ JES જ⁀➴ @animewomensupremacy

dark green, picnic’s under stars, black cat, cassette player

⊹ ࣪ ˖ JUNI જ⁀➴ @junibugs

warm brown, pretty piercings, white shirts, leather covers

⊹ ࣪ ˖ KIERRA જ⁀➴ @sluttsumu

golf skirts, champagne flutes, diamond necklaces, crystal

⊹ ࣪ ˖ KITTY / BUNBUN જ⁀➴ @kenslilove

early 2000s, pink + blue, stomping in puddles

⊹ ࣪ ˖ LOTTE જ⁀➴ @pparadiselost

white sheets, fancy art, balconies, dancing in the rain

⊹ ࣪ ˖ LUMI જ⁀➴ @koucaine

retro kitchens, old souls, powder flying, laughter and light

⊹ ࣪ ˖ MAC જ⁀➴ @mcdonaldsnumberone

ocean pearls, fish tails, pretty blues, men falling for you

⊹ ࣪ ˖ OAK જ⁀➴ @rinneverse

orange cats, video games, neon lights, fighting for your life

⊹ ࣪ ˖ SORIN જ⁀➴ @todorosie

warm cookies, childhood friends, full hearts, play fights

⊹ ࣪ ˖ STASSIE જ⁀➴ @softwiingz

teddy bears, retro cartoons, comfy couches, pink world

⊹ ࣪ ˖ TALLULAH જ⁀➴ @antizenin

gentle meadow, calm breeze, purple flowers, parasols

⊹ ࣪ ˖ VIE જ⁀➴ @thomae

vintage blue, record stores, matching plushies, warm rain

⊹ ࣪ ˖ YUYU જ⁀➴ @yunymphs

bunnies, princesses and princes, glimmering gems, awake

[fluffyzoey]

A Perfect Proposal - PerfectDolls Drabble

Penny has been wondering how to propose to Ocean. She finally gets her answer (with no help from Noel and Mischa)

Penny reclined on the sofa in her friend’s apartment, twirling the ring between two fingers. It was a thin silver band with a turquoise stone in the center, surrounded by a pair of smaller gems. “How am I supposed to propose to the most beautiful woman alive?” She wondered aloud. 

“I would argue that the most beautiful woman alive is NOT Ocean, but, whatever you say.” Noel replied sarcastically. 

Mischa nodded in agreement. “Ocean is not even in top ten.”

”Alright, shut up, homos.” Penny sat up and rubbed her temples. She had showed up at Noel and Mischa’s apartment for engagement advice, as they were the only people she knew who were going to be married soon enough. “My girlfriend’s attractiveness is none of your business, but thanks. I mean how am I meant to propose to Ocean after three years of dating?”

”If you want my advice, it doesn’t have to be something big.” Mischa stated. “Take her out for dinner.”

”No, no.” Noel clasped his hand over his fiancé’s mouth. “Don’t listen to him, he proposed to me in the Denny’s parking lot.”

”And you said yes…?” Penny cringed at him. “You have no standards, mister Gruber.”

”Just because my bar is lower than my self esteem doesn’t mean Ocean’s is.” Noel snapped as Mischa pryed his soon-to-be husband’s hand off of his face. 

“I still think keeping it simple is key.” He locked eyes with Penny. “Take her on nice walk in park, that is all you need to do.”

”Why didn’t you take me on a nice walk in the park?” Noel whined, placing his chin pathetically on Mischa’s shoulder. “No, you had to be the loser who proposes in the Denny’s parking lot.” 

Penny ignored their conversation and picked up her phone. The notifications were plentiful—a missed call from Ocean, several texts (probably memes) from Ricky, and a weather alert. She flipped through the texts and then dialed Ocean back. 

“Hey Oce.” She said into the phone. By the sounds from the other end of the line, Penny could tell her girlfriend was driving. 

“Penny! I called an hour ago, I’ve been worried sick!” Ocean panted. “Where’ve you been!”

Penny winced. “I’ve been at Noel and Mischa’s. I needed help…with…my phone. It’s been acting strange.”

“Huh.” Ocean huffed. “Okay. Do you want takeout tonight or should I make pasta?”

”I can never say no to pasta.” Penny smiled. “But I was actually thinking we could go out tonight?”

Ocean pondered this for a moment. “No, not on a Saturday, everywhere’s too crowded.”

And there went any plans of proposing that night. “Oh…yeah, yeah, sure.” She tried her best not to sound defeated. “Tomorrow?”

”No, Ricky’s coming for dinner tomorrow, remember?” 

“Next weekend, then?”

“We have plans with Constance and Tammy, girls’ night out.”

”Ah. Well, I’ll be home soon. Love you.”

”Love you too Pen-Pen.” 

Penny shoved her phone back in her pocket and sighed, glancing back out at Noel and Mischa, who were now engaged in a playful debate about proper proposal ettiquette. “I gotta head back. Ocean’s waiting.” She stood up and put on her jacket (technically stolen from Constance three years ago, she just never gave it back), rushing out into the boys’ apartment hallway, hopping in the elevator, and going straight to her car. 

Penny put the key in the ignition and backed out of her parking spot. It was about half an hour between the condo she owned with Ocean and the guys’ abode, so she turned on the radio to some generic pop station and rolled the windows down. 

When Penny reached the front step, she could tell something was off. Usually, Ocean left the curtains open during the day, but today they were shut tight. Perhaps Ocean had forgotten? No, that would be silly, Ocean was the least forgetful person Penny knew!

Penny gave the door a few good hard knocks. “Ocean! Open up!” 

After a moment or two, she heard a click of a key sliding into a keyhole. The knob turned, and Ocean opened the door. 

Inside, fairy lights had been hung from the walls. The smell of sauce boiling on the stove filled the whole room. Penny gasped as Ocean took her by the arm, pulling her into the living room. 

“Oce, what’s all this for?” Penny gazed around at the twinkling lights, the vases of flowers newly perched on shelves and tables, the dim flickering of candles and the soft sheen of Ocean’s ginger hair reflecting in the hazy glow. 

“You’ll see.” Ocean stopped in the center of the living room, right between the couch and the pair of armchairs. She reached into the pocket of her cotton sweater, pulling out a tiny band of gold, a large diamond glimmering in the middle. 

Ocean lowered herself onto one knee, her blue eyes meeting Penny’s and asking the unspoken question. 

“Yes!” Penny shouted, pulling Ocean back to her feet and caressing her face, smiling into a passionate kiss followed by a warm embrace. Ocean took Penny’s hand and slipped the ring onto it, admiring her fiancee’s soft skin. 

“You know…” Penny dug around in her pocket, revealing the silver-and-turquoise ring. “I was gonna ask you the same thing.”

[theclockworkkidart]

Panini the Human (Mer AU)

He took the job not knowing how weird and cutthroat it was and ended up with a stand. His role is to go around to get buyers or deal with buyers and convince them to buy. He tries to do his job regardless of how weird and shady it is, and is pretty good with it. He had to move from the city to a smaller town. And heard locals talking about how you could go to this certain cove and make an offering, and a mermaid would grant you a wish (or would take out someone you wanted). He thought it was bullshit until he caught sight of two people who didn’t exactly fit in at the market, checking out his gems. So he decided to see for himself, making an offering that was actually a trap meant to begin turning the mer to stone if they tried to fight or flee. He could reverse the effects of course once the mer complied. Unfortunately for him, the one that came was the mer who could counter his ability. And thanks to making a deal through that, he’s tied to this mer.

He’s noticed that mers seem to be fascinated with gems. Or shiny things. Well at least Farfalle and Illuso seem to be noticeably so. They also don’t seem to have any issue with resorting to drowning a human for an inconvenience-

Below the cut is that Chainsaw Man meme. And another that was made by a friend when I showed them this.