#gay mormon fic

[dontheckinswear]

I found this sketch from a year ago in my old procreate files so I cleaned it up just enough to not be embarrassing and added lighting :)

This is a drawing of the photo Wei Wuxian sends of himself to Lan Wangji in the fic: how to fall in love with a catfish: a guide by wei wuxian (disaster rat) by bwyn and Yuisaki !! It has a special place in my heart, not just for being one of the first mdzs fics I ever read, but also because I actually lived in a freshman dorm during the same year it takes place in, which means Wei Wuxian could have hypothetically been my RA 🥺

Anyways, it’s a really cute online relationship/university AU, and you should definitely read it if you haven’t already!

[wowbright]

Chapter 3 of Out of Eden, aka the big Mormon!Klaine fic, is up on AO3!

Summary: Blaine is curious about the girl who’s been writing letters to Elder Hummel.

Why was Blaine so fixated on having one single, good friend that was all his own? Normal people weren’t like this. Normal people could share their friends. Blaine had always been bad at it. He had a best friend back in middle school and ninth grade named Sam ... They’d been pretty much inseparable until Sam started hanging out with Joe, some weird hippie evangelical who didn’t get Star Wars the way Blaine did, and it just made Blaine so annoyed, like why did Sam need to have other friends when Blaine understood him better than anyone else did?

Chapter 3: Some Melodious Sonnet

Thank you @gleefulpoppet​ for the delightful art!!! <3

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

Do you know of any fics that are being regularly updated? Like current fics where the next chapter is being upload every tot days? I miss having a new chapter of a fic to look forward to reading 🥲🥲 please and thanks ♡♡

One way to check is to go on A03 and in work search, select the relationship you want - "Blaine anderson/Kurt Hummel" and you can select Works in Progress. Currently here are a handful updating regularly, if i don't mention your fic, please feel free to let me know. ~Jen

Undiscovered By @heartsmadeofbooks chap 1/?

All Blaine Anderson needs is a little help to put himself through school. That’s all. But he’s going to get so much more than he hoped for when he meets Kurt Hummel, the successful, sexy workaholic who in turn needs someone to make the loneliness disappear.

~~~~~

Klueless by @kurtsascot chap 4/22

It’s 1995. Kurt’s a senior at McKinley High, and he’s looking to lose his virginity and get his love life in order before he goes off to college.

Unfortunately, Blaine, the pretentious son of Burt’s ex-wife, is in Lima to intern for Burt’s congressional reelection campaign, and Kurt is stuck dealing with him until the election is over.

~~~~~

14 Stones of A curse by Anna_Timberlake @shame-is-a-wasted-emotion chap 5/15

“It's the only way to break the curse, Kurt. Believe me.”

These were the words that had driven 29-year-old Kurt Hummel to take a long break from his prestigious job at Vogue.com and travel approximately 3300 miles. He didn't know if it was true. But if it was, will he be able to break the long impending curse of his soulmate? Welcome to the journey of Kurt Hummel discoverying his past self and his soulmate.

Soulmates and fantasy- AU and reincarnation.

~~~~~

Falling for you By @bitbybitwrites chap 4/5

Doctor!blaine, florist!Kurt, Dadfic, Christmas

~~~~~

And longer fic, updating weekly/monthly:

Sonder by @gleefulpoppet chap 77/?

 Kurt is one of the most respected and talked about men in the fashion industry and business world. His app Style•Revolution is the fastest-growing app in history, still rising after three years. Recently, he moved the company to Seattle to be at the heart of the newest technology epicenter in the United States. Yet, with all his success, experience keeps teaching him to be wary of people’s motives who want to be close to him, and he wonders if he’ll be alone forever. Or maybe this city has plans for him that he can’t imagine when his gaze locks with a mysterious, honey-hazel-eyed busker.

~~~~~

Out of Eden By @wowbright chap 64/75 est

As a gay Mormon, Kurt Hummel has decided to go the rest of his life without falling in love. But toward the end of his two years as a missionary in Germany, Elder Anderson moves into his apartment—and Kurt's best-laid plans fall apart.

~~~~~

Head over Feet By @spaceorphan18 chap 8/15

After Kurt and Blaine broke up the second time, they went their separate ways, living their separate lives in New York City. Fifteen years later, a retirement party brings them back together into each other's orbit, with surprising, for both of them, consequences. Are they able to fit each other into their already complicated and messy lives? And are these newfound feelings real? Or just echoes of a past relationship?

~~~~~

The Queen's Passageway By @coffeegleek Part 4 of one shots of Everybody's Naked & There's a Country to Run verse

This is an expansion upon the one-shot, Passage Ways, chapter 12 of One-Shots in the Everybody’s Naked & There’s a Country To Run verse. You don't have to know the verse to read it.

[amazing-spiderlad]

A question for my Falsettos/Book of mormon mutuals:

Are you aware of the genre of fanfiction that is "Whizzer Brown is Kevin Price's estranged brother or uncle"? Like, is this a thing or have I imagined it?

I don't really read fanfiction very often but I've scrolled through the mcpriceley tag on ao3 a few times and I feel like there's a significant number of crossover fics where Kevin and Whizzer are related in some way and Kevin panics because he loves Connor and then Whizzer like- teaches him how to be gay

[yonpote]

re: dnp onscreen "personas" lol. i mean yall know what i mean by that but i feel like explaining it anyway just to be thorough. this is related to what ive been calling The Shift.

2011-2012 was around the time where the barrier between real dnp and the people they played was starting to be fortified. and like, part of it is just, with phils channel once he wanted it to be less video journal-y and more weird experimental short films, he still wanted to entertain people while talking abt his life, so maybe he would stretch a tale a bit or act a bit peppier than he is irl. and with dan, he had concepts literally from the start of what to do with his channel, and how it was inspired by a lot of sketch comedy based channels like communitychannel and [REDACTED]. so its not like it wasnt somewhat personas from the start, but 2012 was when it was cemented, and once they became known for being a duo it was just further self-flanderization. a Phanderization even. like intentionally playing into the ornery guy who makes bad puns and the happy go lucky guy who accidentally says innuendos. real tsukkomi and boke moment.

ok im gonna elaborate on why tatinof was a fanfic now :) this is the PEAK of phanderization, to me it's not a surprise that the cracks in the egg PERSONAS were starting to show bc they were just Fully In Character for like a year or so straight. in tatinof, the serious bitter eye-rolling "ugh dont do a song and dance" guy was dan (The Straight Man) (dont laugh thats just what its called) so of course his counterpart was the silly happy just having fun "i wanna burst into song!" guy was phil (The Fool). but when you watch their making of doc, dan says that HE'S the one who wanted to do the song and dance. if youre an Enthusiast abt dnp, you mightve already known that dan was a huge theater kid and loves the book of mormon n shit. phil likes theater too, but dan LOVES IT like not just watching but Performing. BUT to a regular degular in 2015 just casually watching or a huge fan but hasnt watched every liveshow ever or a phannie who just really believes in the Phanon, this may come as a surprise. phil is the happy silly ball of sunshine right? like ok. these aspects of their personality (dans bitterness and phil's positivity) aren't exactly LIES. but like obviously theyre just humans. this is what Interactive Introverts was TRYING to comment on, but imo i think fell short of its attempt bc in the end they were still trapped in their personas for the sake of Giving The People What They Want

ok i kinda tangented so back to the personas, it's not as if today they are Fully Raw And Real with us on screen, that's just kinda inherently never gonna happen, there will always be shit we don't know about them bc like. it's still a screen. BUT now that they are more real with us, we kinda see the energy of the olden days back, ofc less MegaRandomHyper and more gay millennial waffling. but it's them! cuz they really are so similar to the personas, but there's always an underlying layer of This Is A Bit. when dan's annoyed at phil for something we know he's not genuinely angry ESPECIALLY when we see that phil does it on purpose to rile him up. i think something strange is that, it's not like during 2012-2018 we didnt see stuff like this, dan's always been silly and phil's always been sarcastic, but bc so many people had bought into the Personas of danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil, that ended up being cemented into fic.

ok i wanna ramble on more but maybe ill make a new post lmao

[hopelesslygaysstuff]

https://www.tumblr.com/hopelesslygaysstuff/746703114042753024/give-me-art-or-give-me-death?source=share

As a Lesbian and a Christian, the 2nd one really spoke to me. One thing I dislike about some Christians is the hate that they spew towards homosexuals like myself when that is the complete opposite of what they should be doing. It says in the Bible, "God is love," so why would he hate on love? He wouldn't, he loves us no matter what. Needless to say, I really like how you made the rainbow breakout of all the negative comments people have made that are far from God. All the rest of your artwork is beautiful, too. Thank you for sharing.

I titled that one "Mormon and Gay" after my own experiences of growing up queer in the Mormon church, I'm so sorry that you can relate 😔 Nothing like Christian love am i right? (that was a joke)

That's why I'm writing a big fic centered around healing from religious trauma lowkey, because that was such a big part of my life that still impacts me to this day, and this artwork is definitely one of my favs!! I entered it into an art magazine on my campus and it got selected so now it'll actually be out in the public... scary but kinda cool lol.

Anyways I could ramble about this art piece for a long time so I'll stop now haha

[sunnylemonss]

OOOOH 🎁🎁 👀

ahhh sorry i promise i didn't forget about this!! my second week of school was NUTS and i'm going on day 4 without internet because it decided to go down for no reason, so i'm writing gay fanfic at my mormon grandmother's house, as god intended. anyways!

“Alright,” Crystal announces, making Edwin jump and tear his eyes away from Charles’ strong, capable hands, cheeks flaming. Niko catches his eye and winks.

ha gay.

(from my dead-boys-briefly-turned-alive-again fic)

[teddykaczynski]

theres no fics that i could easily find written in my hometown but i looked up utah and . im a little intrigued. extremely fascinating to reimagine hogwarts as a utah troubled kids ranch that also has the xfiles flavor of fantasy going on. all to facilitate 5000 words of an unfinished snape and lupin fic. idk if id prefer for the author to be a struggling raised mormon utah gay teengirl because this kind of has this written all over it or written by someone who is not mormon and has never lived in utah

[seblaineaddict]

You Kissed My Flaws...& Made Them Perfect

In a world where every single person has a Soulmate bearing their identical Soulmark and is bound by law to pursue a life with their Soulmate once located, Sebastian and Blaine are gay as a rainbow men from very different countries, who have never met....yet.

Sebastian Smythe is a charming, devilishly handsome (and doesn't he know it!) 30 year-old commitment-phobe still living in his native Paris, where he is an LGBTQ+ Rights Lawyer. He is highly promiscuous, enjoys the finer things in life, especially very expensive Wines and Spirits and First Edition Science Fiction novels, comes from old and new money, and is a bit of a risk taker, to boot.

As far as his 'love life' goes, he pretty exclusively prefers hookups and shuns anything serious, to which end he has never sought out his Soulmate. He really doesn’t see the point, is 100% against people being forced into 'unnatural' liaisons with someone they have never met, just because they share some unremovable (believe me he has tried to remove it - many times!) permanent Body Art that's branded into their skin.. somewhere...on their bodies, and he is determined to challenge, then ultimately overthrow, the Law that decrees you will become bound to your Soulmate from the very second you locate them.

29 year-old jaded (hopeless!) romantic Blaine Anderson is an equally gorgeous (though with a much more dapper and sweet side) Broadway star who lives in Upper Manhattan, New York, and is currently playing Elder Cunningham in The Book Of Mormon. He has had a similarly privileged upbringing to Sebastian, albeit in the US, and is not in the best place in himself. when our story begins

He (spectacularly!) failed to find his Soulmate after a long, long, long and arduous quest to do so, then gave up on men completely after his Fiancé Kurt, with whom he shared a tumultuous, unequal and in truth pretty freaking toxic six year long relationship, finally broke off their engagement. His heart is bruised and battered, and his self-esteem is in tatters, after Kurt slowly but surely eroded the very essence of Blaine and dulled the shine of everything about him that made him so unique and so vibrant….

...then fucked Blaine's co-star and ran off into the sunset with him…

What will happen when (via Grindr - of course!) these two polar opposites discover they are intrinsically and irreversibly linked? Can twin flames bound by law to meet, then pursue a life together, no matter how much the Fates seem to be weighted against them, make a go of things without killing each other in the process? Can an arranged (by law!) relationship ultimately beat the odds and lead to a happy ever after?

Well..you're going to have to read their story to find that out, but rest assured it will not be short on drama, heartache, pining, Angst, laughter, happiness, many hilarious and absolutely NOT so hilarious misunderstandings, and of course…a great deal of good old fashioned…

…hot sex! Oh, yes, and romance and Love of course, too! 😏😉

The unexpected news is - this is actually going to be turned into a fic! Yes..despite still having been unable to update my three ongoing Longfics, due to my increased commitments, I sat down last night to write a short bio to accompany this graphic, and..it took on arms and legs. So yes. A fic it shall become. Either a One-Shot or at most four chapters, but definitely a fic. Soon... And now that I have managed to make time to write, I'm determined to update my other three fics by New Year's Eve! 

Wishing everyone a fantastic 10 Days Of Seblaine, and also an amazing 12th (ahhhhh!) Seblainiversary on 8th November!

10 Days Of Seblaine 2023

6th November 2023 : Day 1: Soulmates/Soulmarks

@seblaineworld

[bluebeebalmwrites]

The Fic List

Completed Works:

Getting Carried Away (13k for Part I; 90k for Part II; 115k with one shots)

Rating: Mature to Explicit.

Themes: Modern AU. Emotional hurt/comfort. Queer themes. Sweeping romance, mental health, falling in love, sweet, fluff, angst, and smut. What if they made each other better? Trauma doesn't mean you're not lovable.

Summary: Consists of a completed longfic told in two parts, but I have kept the universe "open" for one shots and future parts, if the inspiration strikes. I admit I am really proud of GCA, if only for the lovely messages people send me about it that I squeeze close to my heart.

In a Missionary Position (29k) Rating: Explicit

Themes: Religious trauma. First times. Overcoming shame through love. Crack treated seriously. Gay awakening. Hopelessly romantic. Summary: This was initially supposed to be a "What if Gale and Astarion were Mormon missionaries?" crack smut fic, but it turned into seriously written soft romance smut. Because I am a ridiculous softie romantic at heart.

Ongoing Works:

The Taste of Chaos (13k+, planned to be 40k)

Rating: Explicit

Themes: Friends to lovers. Trying to heal through a pub crawl and hedonistic sex. Intentionally poor decisions. Surprisingly sweet. Drugs and bard ballads.

Summary: You know that dialogue where Gale asks Astarion about his return to Baldur's Gate? And Astarion says he would have "days of hedonistic debauchery"? And our sweet unhinged nerd says "Sounds like a recipe for disaster. But you know what? I'm learning to enjoy the taste of chaos. Count me in."? That's this fic. Gale and Astarion go on a bender and realize they’re in love.

Le beau mensonge (20k+)

Rating: Explicit, mind the archive warnings

Themes: Alternate Universe - Historical. Seduction. Lies and drama. Character study. Eat the rich. Hypersexuality as a coping mechanism. Eventual hurt/comfort. Dark fic. Tragic themes. Obsession. Domination and submission. Summary: Dangerous Liaisons/Les liaisons dangereuses, but make it Bloodweave. Astarion is a rake in pre-revolutionary France, and Gale is his next target for seduction. I have not worked on this for a long time, but I refuse to call it abandoned because of how much I have written but not yet posted. It is slow as molasses, because every chapter takes so much work.

Ongoing Series:

Houses (100k+)

Rating: As Explicit as it can get. Seriously, this is explicit. Mind the tags!

Themes: Modern AU. Depraved carnal lust. Are they making each other better or worse? Even I don't know. Ok maybe now they're just toxic, but they love it. Strangers to lovers, switching, Dom/sub, how many kinks can I write into this? Wild smutty guilty pleasure reading.

Summary: Started by what was supposed to be a one shot (story of my life), this takes place in the "Bathhouse" universe. Irredeemable smut. Plot, what plot? Then there's some plot, but it's popcorn eating emotional drama. Look, everything else I write is generally healthy and sweet. This is my toxic raunchy lovechild.

Adventurer Ending Bloodweave (7k+)

Rating: Mature to Explicit

Themes: Canon universe. Domestic fluff, silly, sweet. There's angst but it's not the point. Married life. Adventurer Gale (and he's into it), Adventurer Astarion. Travel fic. Summary: My ongoing little verse where I write post-game fluff and one shots for lighthearted fun.

Completed One Shots (Not in a Series):

Momento mori (4k)

Rating: Mature (but mind the warning and tags)

Summary: Act 3. During his nightmares, Astarion's subconscious keeps reaching out to Gale through the telepathic connection with the tadpoles. Exploration of acceptance and PTSD. Honestly, one of my favourite things I've ever written.

To hold your hand (1.4k)

Rating: Mature

Summary: Written as part of a kink challenge. I wrote with the prompt of "holding hands with someone you love" and made it kinky. Sweet, hot, and romantic hand kink.

[othystt]

okay so @whatacreepything im putting this in a separate post because of how long is got but basically ive been playing around with the idea that instead of going to a literal "hell" in your dream with like fire and shit, everyone has their own personal hell that revolves around their own flaws/sins/fears

we see kevin's as the stereotypical "hell" because of how he views things in such plain black and white. for kevin, what scares him the most is the idea of disappointing Heavenly Father and his peers and that he isn't a good mormon. so kevin turns into a bad mormon: his uniform and garments are ratty and not taken care of, he's dirty (mormons have a strict hygiene rule), he's defacing his book of mormon and breaking all the rules, etc etc. this is why we see him drink coffee, get reprimanded by jesus, have metaphors for being gay, etc, in his helldream because they all represent what mormonism goes against.

connor's greatest fear is giving into the temptation of his sin of (what mormons like to call) "same-sex attraction." he presents more flamboyantly and wears tight and revealing clothing, makeup, etc—all the things he's been taught would make him "effeminate" and "weak." however i ALSO like to think his actual hell is him fantasizing about the beach with steve/kevin like he talks about in Turn it Off, but they arent the real versions of themselves. theyre weirdly twisted, etc, and the whole atmosphere feels wrong, until steve/kevin eventually do something fucked up and connor gets dragged under the water and down to hell. (i touch on this in my fic we don't deserve love on ao3)

as for arnold i dont really think he has regular helldreams for a few reasons. arnold's parents are relatively softer than connor and kevin's as you can see in the beginning of the show (his mother especially) and we know that he has never read the book of mormon and is super hyperfixated on all his fav medias which further proves the point his parents arent strict. if they were strict then they wouldnt let him focus on all his favourite things and disregard the BOM. however, arnold's dad is more pushy about it (again we can see that at the beginning) with how he talks about his dad being "stuck" with him. so if arnold had a helldream that wasnt the stereotypical hell because of all his fantasies, i feel as if it might be an unending office building or maybe even an empty church to signify how he thinks a world with something boring like an office job or the book of mormon is boring and he wouldnt want to live in it. hes also disappointed his father greatly in the dream

so yeah these are my thoughts on helldreams and stuff lmk what you think hehe. i loooove talking about headcanons/my aus/fics etc so my inbox is always open you guys

[wowbright]

Fic: Out of Eden, Ch. 10, Transparent

Chapter 10 of Out of Eden, aka the big Mormon!Klaine fic, is up on AO3. Finally, the Blangst begins!

Fic Summary: As a gay Mormon, Kurt Hummel has decided to go the rest of his life without falling in love. But toward the end of his two years as a missionary in Germany, Elder Anderson moves into his apartment—and Kurt’s best-laid plans fall apart.

Chapter Summary: Blaine knows he has to stop wanting to be the center of everyone’s attention.

Read it on AO3: Chapter 10—Transparent

Thanks to @gleefulpoppet for the banner! It captures the mood for me so well.

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

Here's a bingo card full of great Klaine fics:

Debut: Days by AllyThePotato

Page Turner: Come Alive by delires

Need Tissues: Stick Season by Blurglesmurfklaine

Unusual Occupation: Witch Wanted by RockItMan

Wild Card: Running in Circles, Coming up Tails by izwordsoup

Summer: Swing, Swing by quizasvivamos

Challenge: Ebb and Flow by maanorchidee

Laugh: these inconvenient fireworks by redheadgleek

Trope I don't normally read: Out of Eden (and the whole 'verse) by wowbright

Thanks for your Bingo card! HERE is the collection (125 fics and counting!) and here is the info for the 2023 Klaine Bingo! ~Lynne

1) Days by AllyThePotato

Blaine lives in San Fransisco, Kurt lives in Lima. They've never met in person, but befriend one another and talk over the phone. They make plans to live in NYC together, but will everything go as planned?

2) Come Alive by delires

1960s NYC: Newly-wed junior advertising exec Blaine Anderson finds a missing piece to his puzzle in the back room of a Manhattan bar. Mad Men era AU.

3) Stick Season by @blurglesmurfklaine

After Finn dies, Kurt leaves everything he knows behind without a trace. His hometown, his family, his boyfriend. When his dad has a medical scare, he returns to Lima, one year after breaking Blaine’s heart with no explanation.

4) Witch Wanted by @rockitmans

Blaine is cursed to not touch anyone, Kurt is the grumpy neighborhood witch. They each have something the other other needs (the thing is love)

5) Running in Circles, Coming up Tails by izwordsoup

Kurt and Adam are married with a seven-year-old daughter, Ellie. "Happily married" is another question. Ellie takes piano lessons from none other than Blaine Anderson, who also happens to be a good friend of Kurt's since college. What happens to them when Adam goes to England to star in a West End musical, leaving Kurt and Ellie in New York? What happens when Blaine becomes a more frequently-seen figure in Kurt and Ellie's lives due to Ellie's piano schedule?

6) Swing Swing by quizasvivamos

The Skanks, Kurt and Quinn, are a thing. Blaine, a bit of a bad boy, is dating that goth girl, Tina. The four best friends are fully immersed in the Emo/Scene subculture, the kids everyone at school calls emo or just plain freaks. As close-knit as a friend group can get, the couples share a lot in common: their love of choir and band, tastes in music and art, partying, going to shows and concerts, getting wasted, and—oh, yeah—each other's partners. They swap sometimes. Because it's cool, and it's hot. Besides, it's just for fun. Then, in the summer before their senior year, they take a life-altering road trip to Cleveland for Warped Tour 2005.

7) Ebb & Flow by maanorchidee

Blaine Anderson is yet another anonymous New Yorker who's trying to get a job in the entertainment industry. His days are filled with auditions, bleak subway rides, piano lessons, and complaining about his annoying next-door-neighbour. But Blaine has a secret that he cannot share with his other friends: he dreams of playing competitive Splatoon 2. He already has a hard time justifying this music degree, so he doesn't need to add an interest in eSports to that. That's why the only person who knows about this, is yet another stranger on the internet named Kurt. The two met in an LGBT Splatoon 2 Discord and became fast friends. Little do they know that they also know each other offline.

8) These Inconvenient Fireworks by redheadgleek

After an unexpected Tony award, Kurt Hummel is Broadway's hottest up and coming star, which comes with expectations and some admirers that won't take a hint. When his best friend Elliott Gilbert suggests that they pretend to date to get the leeches to back off, Kurt takes him up on the idea. It's all working out great - until Kurt starts to fall hard for the dark-haired music director of his latest musical.

9) Out of Eden by @wowbright

As a gay Mormon, Kurt Hummel has decided to go the rest of his life without falling in love. But toward the end of his two years as a missionary in Germany, Elder Anderson moves into his apartment—and Kurt's best-laid plans fall apart.

[pfhwrittes]

All the fan art of them has me sold on the idea, but do you have an Soap/Gaz thoughts to share P???

-✨♥️🗡

✨♥️🗡 anon you're back!! hi, i missed you! how has life been for you? i checked out the mormon stuff we spoke about last time and i have to ask, what the fuck is up with mormons?! that's a lot of murdering going on! like a surprising amount of murdering and white collar crime!

anyway, you're not here for me talking about mormon true crime documentaries, you're here because you have excellent taste and want to hear me ramble about two exceptionally pretty men. fret not ✨♥️🗡 anon, i will provide thoughts under the cut.

okay i have several vague soap/gaz thoughts fluttering around my brain currently. and when i say vague, i mean vaaaague. my brain is soup currently but i can feel a particularly stubborn brain worm trying to wiggle.

i was rambling at @kaadaaan about how i want to write a soap x gaz x reader fic that is just filth. truly peak gross!johnny and mean!gaz, it would be SO interesting to explore it as a "what if gaz was the one to hold soap's leash instead of ghost?" piece.

i'm also tempted to pop a soap/gaz interaction in my housemate!gaz series because what's better than one hot shirtless man? it's definitely two and especially if it's those two.

something something gay!kyle taking freshly realised bi!johnny under his wing and helping him win the affections of asexual!ghost. hijinks ensue (soap x gaz x ghost endgame maybe?)

like i said, my brain is soup currently so i'm not sure when i'll get around to writing any of that 😅

[tamsong]

the rpf poll made me remember something cursed that i need to get off my chest so let me tell you guys a story. i had a brief RPF writing era in late high school and in one of my stories i referenced a song that my friend at the time made. since he was a small artist and the song was good i thought it prudent to share the youtube link with the caveat that none of my readers tell him where they heard the song from. of course people did not do that and someone linked the fucking fanfic in his youtube comments section.

now, i didn’t actually know any of that until one day at 9pm (like two weeks after publishing the damn thing) chilling in my car after cheer practice. i open my email to clear it out minding my own business but i look down and my LIFE flashes before my eyes as i read a long comment my real IRL friend left on my gay rpf fanfiction. the comment was very nice but important to note is that i published this fic anonymously. he didn’t and still doesnt know it was me. the pool of people he knew who would be writing gay rpf fanfic was admittedly quite small, but he never asked me, so i assume he doesn’t know.

anyways i don’t talk to this dude anymore he went off the grid for two years on a mission trip and only makes music about the mormon church nowadays. Shout out to him for not being homophobic about me or my fanfiction though i guess

[kpop-with-mars]

A Very important life update

Hi Tumblr, it's Milo.

I have sadly been inactive with writing fics and posts so I thought I would give a life update to explain myself

Trigger warnings for suicidal thoughts, depression and some hurtful religious rhetoric.

So things went south in june, specifically June 8th. I have grown up Mormon all my life but I do not align with the beliefs and have not since I was a kid. and on June 8th there was a church dance that I wanted to go to with some friends, whom also are in the church but don't have the beliefs, and my boyfriend. I told him to come to my house so we could hang out and we left to go to the building where the dance was early. after a few minutes of walking around the building my parents pull up in their car beside us and my mom tells me to get in. I get in and as soon as we start driving again my mom began to yell at me and called me "a fucking liar".

When I wasn't at home I left discord open on my device and my parents found out how I was queer and trans and that I was planning on making out with my boyfriend. the yelling continued until we parked in our driveway and my mom told me to change inside. I change into some pajamas as I shook from fear and I watched as my mother shoved some of my clothes and some of the things I loved in a trash bag. im crying and on the near brink of a panic attack and im scared when my dad comes to my side. only for him to pull me into a hug and say my mom was overreacting and that this wasn't a big deal. basically my mom and dad went through my discord chats with my friends while my mom (whom was very angry) made condescending remarks to me and asking me when this started.

im not going to go into what was said to me specifically (just imagine mormons talking about why being gay isn't in gods plan and how drinking coffee invokes satan and how all my friends are toxic, even if I said that I was the one who was choosing what to do.) but some highlights are:

My dad comforting me while my mom rants about how hard some her life was when she was younger and how her mom was meaner and my dad telling her that this isn't about her.

my mom telling me that im groomer if I continued to act friendly to a young girl at church because she is vulnerable from personal things happening in her life.

It ended with me crying myself to sleep that night and waking up at three am to message my boyfriend about what had happened after I left him. and the next morning my eyes were so puffy from crying it looked like I was having an allergic reaction. I had delt with suicidal thoughts in the past but those had gotten better since I moved but after that day, I had never had that kind of urge to in my life (im 16 Yo as of this post) and I genuinely couldn't imagine living after having my mother yell at me and make it look like she was throwing away my stuff (she later said that she just put it in a trash bag in her room and I grabbed back my cds, but she threw away half of my books and some clothes of mine, such as a pair of short pajama shorts and a fishnet top because they disgusted her.)

I am going to be 18 next year on October 17th. I plan on moving out of my house and into an apartment 20 minutes away. I think about moving out everyday now since June and I went to move out so badly. if anyone has any advice for me about college intuition coverage (since my mom has doomed my future by home schooling me my whole life and only teaching god) and just how to do basic things (i.e paying rent, creative writing jobs, and just life tips in general.)

I want help to get out of here and after I get my drivers license in less then 6 months then I think I can be a step closer to escaping the grasp of my mother and leaving the church for good. I am in secret contact with my boyfriend and a friend of mine for support and help for when I move. Anything that you, dear internet user, would be greatly appreciated and could save what's left of my scattered mental health.

I love you all so much and I have never felt so much support when I was so lonely and isolated. I never knew I wanted to be a writer until I tried it and saw how much you all loved it. ill forever be grateful for you guys for giving me the dream and desire to write better and to become an author. I will continue to give all the love you've shown for my fics right back to you all as much as I can.

With more love then I thought I could have, Milo.