#gay man struggles with his life decisions

[frog-mad]

week 💅

[cjlouwho]

I just love that our little thoughts and ideas of what would happen this season on 911 were all so much better than what actually happened. I mean, our spec for the first half was all like:

bobby and athena deal with the aftermath of losing their home

maybe bobby contemplates becoming chief, or athena thinks seriously about retirement and what that would mean.

buck finally moves out of the loft and has an adult relationship where they work through their problems instead of running from them or making irrational decisions.

eddie works on his issues, making christopher his top priority.

hen and karen struggle with mara not being in their home, causing tension between them and maddie and chimney.

ortiz's grief is properly addressed and discussed and she is finally faced with the truth about her son.

gerrard is his usual homophobic, sexist, racist self. he causes tension within the 118, and possibly with tommy.

chimney and maddie contemplate adoption, or think about becoming pregnant again after properly discussing her ppd.

and then you have whatever the fuck was happening in the actual writers room, like:

buck baby boy/peter pan/never grow up

eddie dance in underwear. all healed. Texas whee!

who are bobby and athena?

maddie exit call center? only for pregnant! which is surprise of course!

what's a chimney?

hen and karen only gays allowed and always kid problems!

fuck tommy

gerrard silly old man!

Make sure main focus is on BRAD. everything should be BRAD. we must worship BRAD. Six episodes for BRAD. BRAD is our hero. BRAD is love. BRAD is life. Everyone is going to be fucking obsessed with BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

[carlos-in-glasses]

Rhythms

124k, 17 chapters, E, complete and on Ao3.

TK swoons when he discovers a sentimental scrapbook full of notes he and Carlos have left for each other – but he also unearths a book of poems that closeted teen-Carlos wrote about his struggles, including a few dedicated to his high school crush. An adorably mortified Carlos recalls the stir he caused when he was published anonymously in the high school paper, and everything he went through to write his wedding vows for TK years later. With TK as a hype-man, maybe Carlos can embrace his creative side again.

Read on Ao3

Chapter 1 - Love Heart: The day after TK and Carlos’ first wedding anniversary, TK is sent home from work sick. Back at the loft unexpectedly, he makes a surprising discovery about Carlos.

Chapter 2 - Club Can't Handle Me: In 2011, sixteen-year-old Carlos is both in the closet and in his high school’s wrestling team – and it’s all a bit too much. Perhaps against his better judgment, he turns to poetry and makes a decision that will change his life.

Chapter 3 - Crossroads: Daydreaming about his wedding vows mid-drive, Carlos gets pulled over for a traffic violation – and Gabriel isn’t happy. Reunited with TK, Carlos might be lost for words, but he finds another way to express his love and desire.

Chapter 4 - The Wrestler: Carlos’ poems are published – and he quickly learns there’s no putting the genie back into the bottle.

Chapter 5 - A Gay Fantasia: In the aftermath of being abducted by a serial killer, Carlos reflects on recent events and resumes work on his wedding vows.

Chapter 6 - La Tormenta: Carlos is devastated when Scott gets a girlfriend, and he finds himself in another snowballing situation.

Chapter 7 - Soulmates: When TK has a Huntington’s disease scare, Carlos finds he knows exactly what to say. But will it help him with his writer’s block when it comes to his wedding vows?

Chapter 8 - Man of Mystery: It’s the day of the Lake View High School Talent Show – and will the real Shadow Poet please stand up?

Chapter 9 - Crush: In 2011, it’s make or break for sixteen year old Carlos at the talent show. In 2024, TK becomes the hype man Carlos had needed over a decade ago.

Chapter 10 - From Behind: A couple of weeks before the wedding, Carlos is still working on his vows when a deeper rift develops between him and his dad. In 2012, seventeen year-old Carlos is spiraling after coming out to his parents.

Chapter 11 - The Other Wrestler: TK decides to lift Carlos’ spirits by learning how to wrestle.

Chapter 12 - Carlos Reyes Will Be Okay: At Gabriel’s funeral, Carlos regrets saying no to reading a poem in tribute – but during the wake, he finds himself under a whole new pressure. Later that night, he realizes the vows he’s worked so hard on for TK cannot be spoken yet.

Chapter 13 - The Closet: Despite some good news, Carlos ends up in the doghouse with his mom and with TK.

Chapter 14 - Once in a Blue Moon: Reeling from his confrontation with Andrea, Carlos seeks advice and admits a secret.

Chapter 15 - Raining on Prom Night: In May 2012, chaos erupts at Carlos’ senior prom.

Chapter 16 - Tyler Kennedy Strand: The wedding day arrives, and Carlos finally gets to recite his vows to TK.

Chapter 17 - Shadow Poet: Carlos attends his poetry reading with TK by his side and some important people in the audience – but will he actually perform this time?

“I was just remembering–” Carlos says, “The first time you stayed for a while after one of our hookups. It was, like, the third time we hooked up, I think. I asked if you wanted tea and cookies and you looked at me like I’d said the weirdest thing ever.”

TK’s exhausted, puffy face breaks into a dazzling grin. “You were being such a Boy Scout.”

“But then you said yes and you ate half the cookie jar.”

“You called me the Cookie Monster.”

“That was the first time I really made you laugh.”

“Tea came out my nose.”

“It was beautiful,” Carlos says, pausing then to qualify: “Your laugh.”

TK gazes up at him, his clear green eyes large and shining. “I can’t believe you remember that.”

“The first time you made me laugh was when we were dancing at the honky-tonk.”

“Hey!” TK swats his arm. “I was trying my best!”

“You were so goofy,” Carlos chides. “I just loved it. I loved you.”

Read on Ao3

[savagegood]

@shinjiroatae1126: To all my fans, today was a very special day for me. For years, I struggled to accept a part of myself...But now, after all I have been through, I finally have the courage to open up to you about something. I am a gay man. It has taken me a long time to be able to say I am gay. I could not even say it to myself. However, I’ve come to realize it is better, both for me, and for the people I care about, including my fans, to live life authentically than to live a life never accepting who I truly am. I hope people who are struggling with the same feeling will find courage and know they are not alone.

ps, he’s released a new song, “into the light”, which you can watch here. part of the proceeds from the single will go to lgbtq+ organisations

@shinjiroatae1126: July 26th, 2023 was a big day for me. I finally gathered the courage to come out to the public as a gay man. I am grateful to have received media coverage from multiple platforms both within Japan and overseas.

To be honest, I was extremely anxious before all of this happened. However, I've been pleasantly surprised to discover the overwhelming amount of positive feedback pouring in from both my fans and people who have come across the news about me. It's heartwarming to see that my story is being acknowledged from all around the world, and this brings me immense joy. Although they may be baby steps, I sense that this world is gradually moving into the light. Yesterday, I made an announcement about resuming my career as an artist. I also released a new song titled “Into The Light”. The music video for the song is also on YouTube now. This song is packed with the emotions and thoughts leading up to this point, including my decision to come out. Living with anxieties and struggles is not limited to just LGBTQ+ individuals. I hope this song can be a source of encouragement for anyone carrying such emotions. I've aimed for it to become a song that can uplift those with similar feelings. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to Pride House Tokyo, Japan’s first permanent LGBTQ+ center, and ReBit, an organization providing resources and support for LGBTQ+ youth. I hope this song will touch many hearts.🙏🌈

At first, there was total silence. Then, there were shrieks, wild applause, weeping and shouts of “I love you!”

Fans of Shinjiro Atae, a J-pop idol who has been on a nearly two-year performance hiatus, had come to hear him talk about “the challenge of my life.” Standing onstage in a dark auditorium in front of 2,000 fans in central Tokyo on Wednesday night, he revealed something he has kept hidden for most of his life: He is gay.

“I respect you and believe you deserve to hear this directly from me,” he said, reading from a letter he had prepared. “For years, I struggled to accept a part of myself. But now, after all I have been through, I finally have the courage to open up to you about something. I am a gay man.”

Such an announcement is extremely unusual in conservative Japan, the only G7 country that has not legalized same-sex unions. Earlier this summer, the Japanese Parliament passed an L.G.B.T.Q rights bill but it had been watered down by the political right, stating that there “should be no unfair discrimination” against gay and transgender people.

In making a public declaration, the 34-year-old Mr. Atae, who spent two decades performing with AAA, a hit Japanese pop group, before embarking on a solo career, said he wanted his fans to know his true self. He also hopes to comfort those who might be grappling with anxieties about their sexuality.

“I don’t want people to struggle like me,” he said.

AAA debuted in 2005, with Mr. Atae, the youngest member, forgoing high school. He performed mostly as a dancer, and began appearing in TV series and movies.

His sexuality perplexed him. “It was a time when on TV, comedians would say two men kissing was gross,” he said. If anyone asked if he had a girlfriend, he just said he was too busy working.

Activists said they could not recall an instance when a Japanese pop star of his stature had publicly declared they were gay, because of anxieties about losing fans or sponsors.

“I think he has decided to come out in order to change Japan,” said Gon Matsunaka, a director and adviser to Pride House Tokyo, a support center for the gay and transgender community.

The decision to open up about his sexuality, he said, evolved over seven years of living in Los Angeles, where he saw how freely gay couples could show affection in public and built an extensive support network.

“Everyone was so open,” he said. “People would talk about their vulnerabilities. In Japan, people think it’s best not to talk about those things.”

Mr. Atae’s decision, he said, was not political.  All he wanted, he said, was to “normalize” being gay. Coming out, he knew, would likely draw criticism. “Whatever you do, there will be haters,” he said. “I can only focus on the people I might be helping.”

[jjkbambi]

About the controversial takes, I’m so curious to know more about him. He was anti immigration, but his best friend Tracy is an immigrant and she posted a text where he was cheering her on for it. He seems to have somewhat dudebro opinions on the birth rate…seems like he at least low-key subscribes to the idea that women are too picky and/or not willing to take on the responsibility of being mothers, but himself seems to have had no long term relationship whatsoever (and no I definitely do not think he was an incel, he was in a frat and well liked) He seemed to look up to people like Musk and Thiel, but in his texts with Tracy he’s incredibly sensitive and supportive in an almost gay BFF way.

I wonder how he reconciles the injustice of the world and wealth distribution with his own privileged upbringing. Honestly, he has had a charmed life other than the back pain. Normal people cannot quit their jobs and fuck off to Hawaii permanently. Even now, he benefits from his family wealth because he has such high powered lawyers. And he definitely benefits from being white and attractive.

> a lot people are saying luigi gives off incel vibes, but i always thought he fell into the “nice guy” mindset. i feel like this is part of post grad depression for white men. as they graduate from an era of their peak — where they are heightened socially, (sometimes) evolved into greater careers with decent looks — they fall into this mindset where they think they’re a catch and struggle to find why women aren’t flocking to them.

> moving to hawaii as a white man ….? lol. LOL. ask literally ANY local what they think about that. even temporarily, weird thing to do. also many theories have come out presuming that he was into asian women, which we can assume aided in his decision to choosing hawaii (insaneeeee)

im not too familiar with his anti immigration takes?!??!! another anon said he was interested in voting for rfk but i cant find that anywhere lol. help?

[twopoppies]

I think Harry is a lot more open with his sexuality then Louis is. Even a lot of anti’s think Harry is gay, they just don’t believe in Larry and are completely convinced that Louis is straight or worse homophobic. Louis seems to be a lot more reserved and closed off regarding it. What are your opinions on this? Do you think Louis struggled more to come to terms with it then Harry did?

I think Louis is a very different sort of gay man than Harry is in terms of the way he expresses himself. He has never been sort of person to wear feather boas and wave rainbow flags and strike stereotypically “gay” poses. It’s so much easier to pick up on Harry’s queerness because these days he does do that kind of thing, but that’s who Harry is. They’re not the same person.

I think categorizing Louis as “reserved and closed off” about expressing his sexuality is actually extremely unfair. There is no one way to be gay. There is no one way to show comfort with it. I think, like Harry, he has become much more private about his life beyond his career.

I don’t think Louis has had any difficulty accepting his sexuality. I find it so bizarre that fans today even question it because when they were in the band, he was considered “the gay one“ by so many people. He was very clearly effeminate and very, very pretty (and the suspenders outfits didn’t help).

I think the combination of this new breed of fan who makes sexual comments about him every time he’s on stage is part of the shift. I think his decision to start wearing the sort of clothes he wears now (plus the drinking/smoking/talking about weed, etc.) gives many people the impression that he’s a “lad“ and therefore somehow can’t be gay.

Beyond all of this, I think it’s really important to remember how harshly it seems he was punished for so many years for looking/sounding/being “too gay”. I honestly can’t imagine going through so many years of being told everything about me was wrong and having the whole world commenting on everything about me, and coming out the other side without being at least a little reserved about expressing myself freely.

But this is the man you’re wondering about. Do you seriously think this is a guy who’s not at peace with who he is?

x

x

x

x

x

x

x

LOUIS NOT BEING HOMOPHOBIC

JUST LIKE YOU MUSIC VIDEO

THERE IS NO HETEROSEXUAL EXPLANATION FOR THIS

FLAMBOYANT LOUIS

You’ll have to scroll through this tag, but X FACTOR JUDGE LOUIS being super supportive of all the queer acts who auditioned

And honestly, do you really think someone who wasn’t comfortable with their sexuality would stage two fucking rainbow bears with so much LGBTQ+ history night after night?

[bioethicists]

hm i really hope that someone has said this better than me but the betterhelp ads (specifically the video ones, as the podcast ones tend to be less scripted) are such poignant examples of alienation + the role of 'go to therapy' in perpetuating that alienation. keep in mind that, if you personally found a therapist who is genuinely healing for you + that therapist happens to be through betterhelp- i'm genuinely happy for you + that experience does not invalidate anything i have to say below! (but jsyk they're trying to sell your shit to facebook lol)

starting strong w/ the fact that betterhelp is essentially the uber of therapy (aka using an independent contractor model which is harmful + predatory towards its providers), rushing in to fill the market on largely uninsured and/or uninformed ppl who want the ease of a concierge system without the cost + lacks a meaningful supervision system (which led to one gay man being recommended a conversion therapist when he asked for someone to help with his identity struggles, btw!). smarter people than me have written about the ways in which these trendy independent contractor apps strip people of labor rights, fail to provide adequate wages, + in the case of healthcare apps, increase digital surveillance + decrease accountability demanded from providers while exploiting the failure of the US healthcare system in order to churn a profit w/o actually creating sustainable, equitable change.

the betterhelp video ads all circle around a theme- a millennial starts talking about some form of emotional pain or worry, usually relatively standard existential worries ("do you ever think nothing has meaning?") or life worries ("i hate my job" "i think i'm gay"). their friends or the ppl around them respond blankly + coldly, looking at them like they're crazy. while i understand these ads are supposed to be tongue in cheek, they demonstrate the crushing reality of our alienation from one another- the solution to your friends responding to your evident pain with confusion + apathy is to confine that pain to a therapy session! nobody wants to hear your struggles or understands them- come generate profits for us by facetiming a newly graduated 24 year old who can barely make rent!

this theme fits well with what already put me off about betterhelp's marketing- their goal has never been to provide access to therapy for those who want it or to altruistically fill in some healthcare gap. their goal, bolstered by the rise in emotional suffering following, you know, the worldwide pandemic, is to generate + increase demand for therapy as a commodity. their earlier podcast ads focused on convincing others that therapy "isn't just for crazy ppl" + "everyone should be in therapy". regardless of if you personally agree with that statement, it should be evident that this is a blatant marketing tactic in which therapy is a commodity to be peddled, not an offer of support or healing. in fact, they're probably actively shying away from treating "crazy people", bcuz their flimsy support systems could not possibly handle an influx of ppl regularly in crisis or experiencing breaks with a common reality. their target audience is your average millennial under late capitalism + post COVID - anxious, lonely, vaguely depressed, unhappy with their jobs, worried + hopeless about their futures.

i'm not here to tell anyone not to get therapy. that's a personal decision + is none of my fucking business. it's about questioning the total alienation we feel from one another, such that pouring our heart our unexpectedly to a friend + being met with a blank stare is framed as "haha you need therapy" + not "it's crushing that this is how distant we are from one another". it's about a company noticing that (unfortunately very real) distance + fear of vulnerability + using that to direct our emotions into the confines of a business transaction under abusive labor conditions. it's about a world in which we are not engaging with one another emotionally (despite, or i guess bcuz of: widespread suffering, recent mass death, class warfare/untenable working conditions, increased pressure of fascist politics, generational trauma + abuse, etc etc). commodifying therapy isn't going to make that loneliness go away- it's going to normalize it.

[kirkwallguy]

i agree with your takes on dragon age's relationship with queer content a lot. a straight female inquisitor (bonus point if elf) gets the most romance options, zevran and leliana's romance feels secondary *by narrative* compared to romances of characters who's a warden/king alistair and morrigan, sebastian being bisexual being a cut content*

* i just don't get it why the templar boys always got to be straight. like why can't men engage with their romances and experience this narrative when chantry and religion is so important for the story of these games? after all romance adds a different perspective for all characters.

here we have veilguard, the pansexual crew, and well... the romance content is the weakest in franchise

and i'm not saying queer romances were bad btw!! its just that i wish people who wants to play mlm or wlw get to see such perspectives in the story or these characters' stories too. like a male warden romancing alistair and all the juicy stuff that comes with it (the hurt or angst or the complications. are you sparing loghain? did you just marry the love of your life off to his sister-in-law for the future of your beloved country? did he become a drunkard visiting bars after bars because of the decisions you made even tough you were intimate?)

no exactly! i do tend to want to give them some slack given they're very Of Their Time (for a 2009 game even including bisexual options was scandalous, and dorian's bare bones coming out narrative was pretty standard for 2013 tv shows / rare in aaa games) but it annoys me when people act like they're these flawless beacons of queer rep that you can't criticise just because we should be happy with being given anything at all. even if you don't count seb, 1/2 of the games pretty much require you to play an f/m relationship in order to experience a narratively relevant relationship. i find dai more insidious tbh because like... sure, don't make solas bi for whatever reasons you want to give. but cass and blackwall? there's 0 reason for them to be straight lol. (especially the bait and switch where you're allowed to flirt with cass as a woman for AGES before she turns you down despite characters like cullen shutting you down on the first flirt. it's funny when you do it intentionally but just feels cruel otherwise?) at least leliana and zevran feel like they're doing the most they were allowed to do

a gay or bisexual chantry/templar character who struggles with their sexuality would be SO interesting. honestly it would require more introspection about thedas' attitude towards sexuality than da has ever done - i feel like they could have done a fun subplot with this in da2 honestly.

and the thing about the dav characters is... they went to great lengths to make sure they avoided the playersexual allegations, multiple characters had a past where they dated people of various genders, taash having a preference for women was mentioned (in the weirdest way possible) but i still... don't know how they feel about their sexuality at all? neve is a tevinter mage, did her liking women play a part in her seeing through the issues with the system? does bellara have any lingering feelings about irelin at all? did harding realise she didn't have to be straight when she joined the inquisition and met people outside of her small ferelden town? (potential extra dialogue for an f/f romancing inquisitor???) it doesn't need to be a big Thing, but just a one-off dialogue during romance (davrin m/m exclusive dialogue on your date: "the first time i brought a man to meet my uncle i was so nervous etc etc") or a comment during a banter. it just establishes a little bit more about the characters and stops them feeling so flat... then again ig that's an issue with the whole game LOL.

[gregrulzok]

Analyzing Interview with the Vampire is fun because going down one train of thought often leads me to a totally separate conclusion. Let me take you on the same journey I went through, real quick:

I started off thinking about the whole Claudia As a daughter vs. As a sister thing. I mean, it makes enough sense why she'd want to stop being their daughter so she could finally feel equal to at least Louis, if not Lestat.

But it's not that simple - she specifically requests to be called their sister after she witnesses Grace "bury" Louis. She even comments that she wasn't meant to be Louis' daughter, and that she was MEANT to be his sister. What's the significance here?

Louis specifically wanted a daughter when they made Claudia. Or rather, he proposed she be a daughter - Louis wasn't asking for a sister, in fact he HAD a sister and, at the time, at least some sort of relationship with her (albeit a tense one). If Claudia was meant to be a replacement for Grace, surely there have to be some connections between the two?

Well, there aren't. Grace's presence in the show is fairly understated, and they don't parallel Claudia almost at all - Louis and Grace are close at first, drift away slowly, Louis never struggles with her growing up, never feels like he has to take care of her, never feels bound to her like he does Claudia.

But... He does feel that way about Paul.

Paul, like Claudia, was fragile and needed care and attention. Paul, like Claudia, was chained to Louis. While he was alive, Louis was closest to Paul, and took care of him.

(And after all, both characters share a bird motif and the allusion to jumping off a high place to their deaths (and these things were put on Claudia, forced on her like a costume. Traits associated with Paul grafted onto Claudia)).

So, okay. Claudia isn't Grace, she's Paul - the reason the revelation comes to her after Grace abandons Louis is just because she never met Paul and had no way of understanding his and Louis' relationship.

In lieu of Paul, Louis is now taking care of Claudia - she's the family he has to look after, and therefore gives him purpose, and therefore chains him and restricts his freedom.

And all of this makes the lines where Louis cries to Lestat and laments never having a family of his own even more interesting, because... What family? Louis wasn't married, wasn't seeing anyone, wasn't even vaguely interested in having a family.

Had Lestat not come around, would Louis have gotten married? Had children? Does he really believe he would have, when the only woman he even shows a vague interest in is a prostitute he sometimes visits? When he all but laughs off the idea of marriage when Paul brings it to his attention?

No, Louis wouldn't have gotten married. He wouldn't have gotten anyone to take care of - because he already HAD someone to take care of. He was taking care of Paul. He couldn't, wouldn't have gotten married and had kids - not just because he was gay, but because if he had, and he moved out, what would have happened to Paul?

When he's lamenting no longer having a family, and being unable to have a family, he's lamenting the loss of Paul, and he's lamenting that now he has to leave an eternity without him, without anything to fill the void. He threw away his chance at marriage and kids for the sake of a man that he now has to spend eternity without.

...

And.

What if Paul was conscious of this?

On that rooftop, what if, on some level, Paul realized that he was holding his brother back from living a full life. When he urged Louis to get married and got immediately dismissed, what if he realized, or knew all along, the role he played in that dismissal, that decision?

...

What if Paul killed himself because he thought he was holding Louis back?

[frog-mad]

me when anything from my playlists

[thecoolblackwaves]

Family Of Nerds: Feanorian Modern AU

(I’m sorry this is somewhat Americanized I just don’t have enough knowledge about anywhere else to make those allusions) (Also please reblog with your own headcanons or other thoughts!)

Feanor 

Philologist; studies language history

Often assists at various museums, colleges, archeological sites, etc

Has published several books and given many lectures 

Creates his own languages like Tengwar for fun, also is a hobby blacksmith

Teaches his children many archaic languages no one else speaks and takes his family on "educational" vacations 

Also attends every convention known to man, even ones that have seemingly nothing to do with his own interests, dressed to the nines and spends his time there signing books and debating other people 

Loves his wife just as madly as the day he met her and is ecstatic he married his high school sweetheart

Idolizes his father. Would have done great following his political career if he hadn't "ruined" his public image by becoming a teen parent, ultimately feels he's made the right decisions for his life though and is happy with his work

Rivalry with Fingolfin over who can host the best dinner party (and you best believe he wears smart-ass punny aprons while cooking a six course meal for his guests)

Nerdanel 

Professional sculptor and multimedia artist

Teaches classes at an arts college 

Is known to eat the fruit out of the bowls her students are sketching when no one is looking

Cannot cook to save her life 

Enthusiastically attends every possible event in her family’s calendar no matter the weather or lack of skill at a toddler dance recital 

Dresses in a fabulously bohemian eccentric artist way; stole the show when she attended the Grammys with Makalaure and has been featured in several fashion magazines 

Carries all sorts of art supplies and seemingly random tools in her purse at all times, including a chisel, googly eyes, edible glitter, a bajillion hair ties, DW40, and peanut M&Ms

Has a calm, wise disposition that belies her truly chaotic nature

Often looked to for advice from her students and children and will only pull your leg when she thinks you’re being stupid 

Does give genuinely good advice though, mostly because she is uncanny in her ability to read people and observe subtle hints 

Maitimo

Studied communications, currently working as his father’s apprentice but hopes to find a position as a public relations specialist 

Uses his intimidating stature and loud, deep voice to his advantage as needed

Was born while his parents were teenagers and still living with their families, he remembers watching cartoons with Grandpa Finwe and being babysat by his uncles 

Also attended his mother’s graduation from art school as a small child and clapped until his little hands hurt 

Is painfully aware of how all his younger brothers look up to him - literally - and sometimes struggles with the pressures of setting a good example, though he does much better than he realizes 

Drinks his coffee from a mug that reads “don’t make this ginger snap” (Nerdanel has a matching one)

The gayest gay to ever gay, informs everyone of this via cheesy tee shirts gifted from his brothers and cousins 

Drives a minivan, claims he chose it because it was the only car that would fit his legs and not because he can haul his brothers around in it 

Frequently complains about missing the technology of his childhood but resents being called a millennial 

Makalaure 

Grammy award winning artist and composer

Created the score for a recent movie that bloomed his popularity and brought him to the limelight 

Has a Youtube channel with several music videos he definitely didn’t blackmail his family into filming with him 

Also performed on Broadway once and will not let you forget it 

Used to skip school to busk in the train station and once caught his math teacher also skipping school 

Extremely popular with interviewers, camera crew, and other industry specialists for his kindness and crazy stories about his family 

Donates large amounts of his royalties to children’s hospitals and other charities 

Used to hog the bathroom in the mornings to put on makeup and style his hair 

Practices Beyonce dance routines in the mirror, has convinced Curufin to do them with him before 

Spent a semester studying in Sydney, Australia and fainted after encountering a large spider in his dorm room 

Tyelkormo

Forest ranger at a National Park 

Works at outdoor summer camps every year, all the children love him and his giant fluffy dog

Also volunteers at animal shelters and the wildlife rehabilitation center at the National Park 

Creatine for breakfast, lunch, and dinner; drinks so much milk Nerdanel used to tell him it was why his hair was white 

Wakes up at 5 in the morning to exercise (disgusting)

Got a long bow for Christmas one year (the note said Santa but he knows it was his mom) and practices in the backyard by shooting at Amrod’s pumpkins 

Metalhead, particularly likes viking metal and Nordic black metal 

Made Huan his own battle vest complete with dog-themed patches such as “Bad to the Bone” and “No Leashes No Masters” 

Tells the most terrible jokes you’ve ever heard then laughs like a seagull vomiting up a stolen bag of Doritos 

Extremely loyal to his family, sometimes to a fault 

Carnistar

Professional business accountant 

Also does taxes as a side hustle because “it’s so easy” 

Is obsessed with Oreos but will not admit it because of his brother's teasing about "Moryo's Oreos" 

Obligatory family goth and not ashamed of it 

Started mending his hand-me-down clothes as a necessity and got into sewing, now makes fantastic garments for his family and friends to wear 

Halloween is the only valid holiday, he spends the entire year making his costume (it’s usually a vampire or some fandom character)

Stays up until 3am gaming on a PC he and Feanor built together one summer, favorite game is currently Balder’s Gate 

Had to take speech therapy as a child and later some anger management classes.... because he got too good at expressing himself

Curufin

Silversmith and jewelry maker 

Specializes in accessories for ballet dancers and other performers 

Ballet dancer since he was young, never succeeded with a professional career but still practices daily and chose his specialty to remain part of the scene 

Holds a serious grudge against certain critics that failed his entry to ballet academy (will not sell his products to them or their schools)

Always looking for new business opportunities, not always in the most honest of ways 

Struggles with self esteem issues 

Has several cats and claims they betray him when they snuggle with Huan but secretly finds it adorable 

Frequently collaborates with Caranthir to make elaborate costumes just for the fun of it 

Made a tiara for his favorite cat, Princess Paws

Would sleep until four in the afternoon if you let him (or if Princess Paws didn’t wake him up screaming for food)

Amrod

Gardening Club President at his school 

Started a trade and barter farmers market after school to reduce waste and share the bounty of his and fellow club member’s gardens 

Frequently tries to convince his parents to turn their property into a “self sufficient homestead”, leaves pamphlets and pictures of adorable baby animals lying around the house 

Enlisted the help of his twin and Maitimo to build a chicken coop, forgot to ask Feanor’s permission first 

Demands payment in the form of fresh caught fish or deer jerky for the use of his gourds in Tyelko’s target practice 

Has definitely switched places with Amros to escape trouble or science tests 

Often neglects his homework for pursuits he feels are more important, will only do it without complaint when Carnistar tells him to 

Had eyes for the cool-looking red glow on the stove as a child and was banned from the kitchen for most of his adolescence 

Is generally a persistent and stubborn person (wonder where he got it from)

Amros 

Amateur photographer with an instagram following nearing one million 

Account consists of 95% nature photography and 5% “The Adventures of Huan and Princess Paws” as he follows them around the back yard 

Takes all of Makalaure’s headshots and creates his album covers, also photographs Curufin’s jewelry to upload to his retail website 

“Borrows” Carnistar’s prized PC to upload and edit his photos 

Conspired with Amrod to convince their elementary school classmates they were secretly Fred and George Weasley disguised as Muggles, ultimately failed because someone thought their accents “just sounded like they were copying Peppa Pig”

Still pulls out his British accent on occasion when someone needs cheering up 

Inherited Nerdanel’s keen observation skills, mostly uses them to blackmail his brothers into doing his chores 

But also gives the most amazing presents because he knows exactly what everyone truly wants 

[siancore]

One World, One People

Samtember Day 5 - Canon Divergence

@samsseptember

Everything after Sam's feet touched the asphalt was a blur. Sharon being hit. Karli’s young life being taken from her. The sounds of sirens and the crowds that had gathered. The flashing lights and the people rushing toward him looking for answers.

Who had made him Captain America? Was the threat over? Gratitude for saving the hostages. For doing his part for dealing with so-called terrorists. He paid no mind to the people looking for answers; he needed some answers of his own.  

“Are you still going forward with resetting the borders?” asked Sam; his voice came out tired and sad.  

All he heard was that the ‘terrorists’ only set their efforts back marginally. Soon, the haze lifted, and righteous indignation replaced it.  

“You have to stop calling them terrorists,” said Sam.  

“What else would you have us call them?”  

“Your peacekeeping troops, carrying weapons, are forcing millions of people into settlements around the world, right? What d’you think those people are gonna call you?”  

No one answered, so Sam continued speaking to the two senators.  

“These labels: Terrorist; refugee; thug. They’re often used to get around the question: Why?”  

“Those settlements that happened five years ago,” one of the senators spoke up. “Do you think it is fair for governments to have to support them?”  

“Yes,” said Sam, firm and strong and resolute.  

“And the people who reappeared, only to find someone else living in their family home, they just end up homeless?”  

Sam sighed as the senator continued.  

“Look I get it, but you have no idea how complicated this situation is,” he said before walking away.  

“You know what?” Sam questioned, causing the other man to stop. “You’re right. And that’s a good thing.”  

He turned to face Sam as the police held journalists back.  

“We finally have a common struggle now. Think about that. For once, all the people who’ve been begging, and I mean literally begging for you to feel how hard any given day is – now you know.”  

Bucky’s heart swelled at Sam’s words. All of Sam’s compassion, empathy, and love for his fellow man poured out of him then.  

“How did it feel to be helpless? If you could remember what it felt like to be helpless, and face a force so powerful it could erase half the planet, you would know that you’re about to have the exact same impact. This isn’t about easy decisions, Senator.”  

“You just don’t understand,” the senator replied, almost stuttering.  

Sam scoffed and said, “I’m a gay Black man carrying the stars and stripes. What don’t I understand about making tough decisions? About decisions being made about me and my life. Every time I pick this thing up, I know there are millions of people out there who are gonna hate me for it. Even now, here, I feel it: The stares. The judgment. And there’s nothin’ I can do to change it. Yet, I’m still here. No super serum. No blond hair or blue eyes. The only power I have is that I believe we can do better. We can’t demand that people step up if we don’t meet them halfway. You control the banks. Shit, you can move borders. You can knock down a forest with an email; you can feed a million people with a phone call. But the question is: Who’s in the room with you when you’re makin’ those decisions, hmm? Is it the people you’re gonna impact? Or is it just more people like you?”  

The rest of the evening went by in a flash. Sam helped with clean-up while Bucky made sure Sharon got the care that she needed. The media was buzzing with reports of what had transpired. A terrorist attack. A new Cap. Sam Wilson coming out to the world. Sam Wilson supporting terrorists. Gossip around whether or not Captain America and the former Winter Soldier were more than just partners. It was a lot.  

By the time Sam was ready to lay his head down, it was late, or early, depending on how one looked at it. Rhodey had already contacted him and wanted to meet. Sam had told him he would speak to him later in the day. Sarah was concerned for her brother’s welfare, and he assured her he was fine. Sam’s phone buzzed one more time. It was Bucky.  

“Where are you?” he asked, his voice laced with equal parts worry and exhaustion. 

“Sitting on the roof of a building,” said Sam, sounding just as tired as Bucky. “Is Sharon okay?” 

“She’s fine. Are you okay?” 

“Yeah.” 

“What do you need?” asked Bucky.  

“A shower and a bed wouldn’t be so bad,” Sam replied with a little laugh.  

“I’m comin’ to get you,” said Bucky. “You can come back to my place.” 

“Buck, you don’t need to offer your space. I can get a hotel.” 

“Don’t fight me on this, Sam,” said a resolute Bucky. “You’re comin’ with me for a shower and to get some sleep. Away from all the cameras and questions. Come with me. Where it’s quiet and safe. Let me take care of you. I wanna take care of you.” 

“Okay,” said Sam with a smile. “Okay.” 

[mueritos]

Hi, Matteo! So, I have just about the stupidest question to you as a fellow transmasc artist/creator: whenever I find myself trying to create a female character, I end up struggling with forming the idea of her personality and motivations etc in my mind, and then when I try to sort look at the character from different angles to 'get' them, boom! My hand slips and they're genderfluid now, or nonbinary, or transmasc, or transfem. The point is, they're never a cis woman in the end. No issues with male characters, cis or trans. Is this a common experience for other trans/nb creators? Or is it a 'default misogyny instilled in us all by society' thing? I just want to be able to create female characters too! and I kinda feel like an asshole for not being able to. So, I'd love to hear your thoughts on that!

this isn't stupid at all! first of all, it's entirely fine if you only want to draw and create trans characters. It's also okay that you have preferences toward certain characters. I hilariously fall into this same problem of struggling to make female characters, because my attraction toward men makes me want to always create gay/MLM centered stories. My brain is giving very much "no women no girls this is...The World of the Gays" image. But here's the thing, what you draw and what you choose to invest your creative energy into doesn't say anything moral about you. I would say things start becoming more complicated depending on the intentions behind art, how characters are depicted, and the harm it may cause to others (example, racist depictions of characters, colorism within art, etc).

However, it sounds like you do want to make female characters, specifically cis female characters. I struggle making cis female characters too, and i don't know if you relate, but after many years of being forced to be a Girl and to be Feminine, I now avoid situations or things that make me feel like I'm going back to GirlMode. But, it's important to remind ourselves that this avoidance can become maladaptive and prevent us from opening ourselves to new experiences. You're not an asshole, and clearly you care enough about making diverse art because you're trying to seek different perspectives.

my thought process when making female characters is essentially the same with all characters, but there are many characters I have intentionally chosen aspects of themselves that i do not relate to to push myself. It sounds like you need to make a decision to keep a cis female character and protect her from your transgender mind beam haha. Give her something you relate to, like a hobby or a lived experience or an outfit you like, and perhaps it can help alleviate any feelings of wanting to push your connection to her through shared transness. Another thing you can do is base her loosely off a cis woman in your life! I've done this before and it prevents me from changing her gender, mostly because I feel like it would be disrespectful to make them trans if they're based off someone I know haha. Or, if you still want a trans character in proximity to her, give her a trans friend, sister, cousin, partner, or enemy! That way the dynamic is not just based on their relationship, but also their different genders :)

also, don't worry if you're being misogynistic or not. every character you make may have some form of a stereotype or some "problematic" aspect. I have a cis female character who falls into the "wants to get married and only things about men stereotype", but she is brave and often far more driven than the men and women in her life because she cares about the man she loves (enough to break from her social status and become a fighter to save him). I ALSO have all kinds of trans characters I created just to lewd them up, and I know for sure there's probably someone out there wagging their finger at me and saying i'm "fetishizing" trans people. I also like to draw the occassional cute girl because I think women are beautiful and I admire the ways I see the women in my life carry themselves. My point is, characters are flawed because WE are flawed and we internalize a lot of messaging from the world. as long as you are seeking our ways to re-learn messaging and incorporate that into your work, you're doing enough. There exists no perfect squeaky clean un-problematic non-stereotypy character ever, because we all aren't squeaky clean un-problematic non-stereotypy people.

hope that helped ^-^

[fairuzfan]

Ok you vote for Biden. Let's say he wins. Then what. What makes you so confident he won't do the same things Trump will do. What makes you think he's such a proponent for humanity that he will protect you. Just cuz you had the good fortune of living in America? You think he cares about you because you're American? Of course he supports genocide overseas like you can excuse that but he DEFINITELY won't let it happen here. Like for sure he won't. Like totally 10000% will not let it happen. Because he loves and cares for you. Because he's a man of reason who only makes reasonable decisions, that's why he gave 14 billion dollars of weapons to an entity committing genocide. That's why he willingly invests your tax money in killing people overseas. He's doing this because he really super cares about you, an American. That's why you're struggling to feed your family and paying rent is a constant stressor on your life. Like he's doing all this because he CARES about trans people and gay people. For sure. Like 100%. He will definitely protect you when it comes down to it. Don't worry. Just vote for him and show the world you approve of his actions by giving him your support. That definitely won't embolden him to do whatever the fuck he wants.

[darkmasterofcupcakes]

In hazbin hotel, being Gay has no bearings on going to Hell or Heaven (the "vile and blasphemous" line was because Charlie is Lucifer's daughter) , so I don't think Vaggie would feel too weird about being attracted to women, especially once more openly gay, Trans etc people arrive.

For the first century and some of her life? Sure.

But I think she would be accepting of it in the last 80-90 years of her time in heaven, especially since the Sisterhood of the Exorcists is promoting a very violent mindset and killing sinners in secrets, it leave little room for interactions outside of the group, cue experimentations.

Also, considering how Agatha annoyed Lute for not being "proper" regarding the "out of wedlock baby" and single mom status, I think it would fuel her desire to accept Vaggie's gayness.

I can even see Lute appreciate how it can make Vaggie feel more like a part of the group on the more pragmatic side, or at least use it as an argument for people who are bothering her on it and that she won't just ignore or scare into silence.

I never really thought about that, but you do have a point. I think a lot of people assume Lute is homophobic (and maybe she is) because of her line about Charlie and Vaggie's relationship, and well as one of the comments about Angel in her solo during "You Didn't Know" but you could argue that, like you pointed out, her issue with Charlie and Vaggie dating could be more based on Charlie's status as a demon/Lucifer's daughter than them both being women. And the thing with Angel could just be a commentary on him being so willing to have what is implied to be casual sex in general, regardless of the gender of his partners. Obviously those are still not good views to have, but they are possibly alternatives.

I do think that Vaggie would still struggle a bit for a while, though part of it would be her just kind of making the wrong assumptions regarding why her mother was essentially judged behind her back? At least when she was young. Because she heard occasional whispers (and the one time she asked about her grandmother and why she'd never met her, Lute did explain that Agatha didn't like the fact that Lute wasn't married to Vaggie's father) where people would say pretty insulting things about her mother when Lute herself wasn't there to hear, regarding the fact that she wasn't even in an official relationship with, much less married to, Vaggie's father. And young Vaggie initially made the wrong assumption that the issue was more about the fact that her mother wasn't in relationship with a man, period, rather than the truth, which is that the issue was that Lute was an unwed single mother by choice.

But Vaggie did likely figure it out more as she got older and especially after officially joining the Exorcists....at least in part due to the reasons you pointed out. With how secretive the Exorcists are supposed to be, while it's probably not impossible that some of them have partners outside of the group who just are told cover stories for what they do for work and/or what they're doing when they're gone during Extermination Day, a lot of them likely just have relationships among each other to avoid any of that. And in my AU at least, while Charlie was Vaggie's first serious girlfriend, I will say her first kind of trying out a relationship with anyone was likely with another Exorcists, probably one who joined around the same time she did. She likely did still feel weird about it for a while, and didn't fully realize she was a lesbian until a fair bit later.

Lute likely was more accepting of Vaggie's sexuality than some might expect, partially out of spite regarding how hurt she was at how her own parents, especially her mother, who she had been very close to before Vaggie was born, basically cut her out of their lives for her decision to raise Vaggie on her own. So while she obviously couldn't be as accepting as she wanted to tell herself she would be - she does still find the relationship between Vaggie and Charlie shameful, sadly - she is fully accepting of her daughter being gay. Also helps that I might actually headcanon Lute as not actually being straight, but rather gray-ace or demi - she's pretty much only interested in Adam in regards to sex or romance (though the romance part even she's in denial about).

[renaroo]

Maybe I’m just a notoriously cranky gay lady or something, but there’s something really weirdly funky about how an officially published reference book like today’s DC Book of Pride comes out and without much fanfare has some curiously sanitized edits of many important character’s histories.

These histories are often messy and difficult, but being honest with them serves two purposes. For one, the characterization and history in-universe of the character are built off of those things, you don’t understand things like Hartley Rathaway’s decisions and quirks without knowing how being gay and negative reactions to him being gay shaped him.

On the other hand it’s also vital many times to real life queer history -- these stories become little parables of the struggle of this community over time. We become attached to these characters and stories because through the mess and the pain, we see our own struggles and capacity for triumph. Kate Kane being kicked out of West Point for living her truth, Renee Montoya going through the harassment and terror of being forcefully outed -- those aren’t just the character’s stories, those are our stories. We get comfort and encouragement out of them.

But maybe even more importantly and downplayed right now because it’s all but hidden inside the text of the reference book itself is the fact that they have, out of nowhere, seemingly completely retconned the family history of Alan Scott, Todd Rice, and Jennie-Lynn Hayden. 

Alan was not aware he had children. Their mother, without Alan’s knowledge, put Todd and Jennie both up for adoption. They both endured a lot of trauma and pain as a result that completely altered the course of their lives and, especially for Todd, is VITAL to understanding his character and behavior once the narrative picks back up with them in their teenage years, when Alan finally meets them. 

It’s also, by the way, why they all have different surnames. 

But apparently, out of the blue, this reference book has decided to inform us that this history no longer exists? This is DEVASTATING for Todd’s history in particular. I’m not sure how to reconcile this?

idk man. If you’re going to be a reference book, maybe make sure you’re clear about what the continuity of everything is first?