#gay idiot hours as per usual

[clovesnz]

a few days ago i briefly held the hand of a woman who’s kids are literally the same age as me and i felt the tiniest bit of chemistry like uh oh reign in the freak a little there cowgirl lmao

[icrypop]

Reckless

Tyler Hernandez x Gn! Reader

School Bus Graveyard

Kinda angst but not really?

I love the webtoon, I love all the characters and my gay ass loves Ash but also Aiden...but the twins have special spots in my heart, mostly Tyler. ANyWay- Requests are open! Enjoy

-Writer Icy<3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The thick fog of the Phantom Dimension seemed to swallow everything around Tyler and Y/n. They had been running for what felt like hours, their breath coming in ragged gasps. Behind them, the faint, eerie glow of the Phantom they'd been fleeing from had finally disappeared into the mist. But in their panic, they had lost track of the group and found themselves alone in the woods a little farther from the bus yard.

Tyler skidded to a stop, panting heavily. "Great. Just great!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration. "Now we're lost in this nightmare, and we don't even know where the others are!"

Y/n caught up to him, trying to catch their breath. "We had to run, Tyler! That Phantom was getting too close. What did you want to do, just stand there?"

Tyler spun around, his temper flaring. "I don't know! Maybe not panic and run off without thinking? Now we're separated, and who knows where the hell we are!"

Y/n glared at him, their own frustration bubbling up. "We wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't insisted on checking the houses in the neighborhood! You always have to be the brave one, don't you? Trying to out-do Ashlynn right?!”

Tyler clenched his fists, his anger rising. "I was just trying to make things easier and find materials! Is that such a crime? It's better than sitting around doing nothing!"

Y/n crossed their arms, their eyes blazing. "Easier? You call getting chased by a Phantom easier? You're always so reckless, Tyler! You never think things through, and now we're paying the price."

Tyler's face reddened with anger and a touch of embarrassment. "Well, excuse me for trying to impress you! Maybe I wanted to show you that I'm not just some hot-headed idiot who can't keep his cool! Maybe I wanted you to see I could be just as much of a leader as Ash!"

Y/n's eyes widened in shock, and they opened their mouth to retort, but Tyler cut them off, his voice louder and more desperate. "Yeah, that's right! I like you, okay? I thought if I could show you I was brave and adventurous, you'd see me differently!"

For a moment, there was silence between them, broken only by their heavy breathing. Y/n's expression softened, and shook their head, letting out a small, incredulous laugh. "Tyler, you're such an idiot. How could you not see that I've liked you for a long time? Why do you think I put up with your crazy ideas and temper?"

Tyler blinked, stunned by their words. "You- You do?"

Y/n sighed, a mix of exasperation and affection in their eyes. "Yes, Tyler. Even when you're being a hot-headed fool, I still care about you."

Before Tyler could respond, the rest of the group found them and they all quickly made it back to the bus graveyard. Everyone was shaken up, tired and Aiden ended up with a small scratch which Tyler commented on per usual and had a small little quarrel. They all relaxed, discussing what all had happened before each slowly started falling asleep. The thick fog around them began to dissipate, and the eerie landscape of the Phantom Dimension started to fade away. The familiar surroundings of their homes came into vision as each of their alarm clocks were mere seconds from going off.

Tyler laid there in bed, trying to process everything that had happened. “Shit…” He rubbed his eyes tiredly and tried to relax before he had to get him and Taylor to school. 

~Time Skip~

He and Taylor walked into Mr. Thomas’ class, everyone in the group following sleepily. They made it through the class slowly until the bell rung, waking Ashlynn and Taylor up from much needed rest. As they started their trudge to lunch, Y/n pulled Tyler to the side and asked to talk. The hallway was almost empty as they stood. He turned to Y/n, who looked just as bewildered but also slightly amused.

"Y/n," he began, his voice softer but still holding slight tension, "what you said last night... did you really mean it?"

Y/n looked at him, a small smile tugging at their lips. They stepped closer and, without a word, leaned in and kissed him. It was a quick, sweet kiss, but it sent a jolt of warmth through Tyler's entire body.

When they pulled away, Y/n smiled and said, "Does that answer your question?"

Tyler grinned, his heart racing for an entirely different reason now. "Yeah, it does."

As the lunchroom buzzed with the sound of students heading to their tables of friends, Y/n gave Tyler's hand a gentle squeeze before letting go. "Ill race you to the table for your fries," they said with a playful smile. “Alright, Bet on it.” he grinned.

As Y/n sped over to the table, Tyler close behind, he couldn’t help but smile, his lips still tingled from theirs. Okay so maybe he needed to be careful…Teams are important and now so were they.

[e-m-p-error]

Hello, Goodbye, It Was Nice To Know You

Ostello's death fic. Put under a cut for length.

Warnings: Gay, Slash, Yaoi, MLM, M/M, AU - Canon Divergent, Intersex Valentino, Briefly Mentioned Smut, Murder, Death, Angels & Demons, Blood, Cheating Mention, Weapon, Blade, OC: Ostello, Overlord OC

---

“Hey, Baby!” Ostello's voice was as rich and filled with love as it always was as he closed the front door to their penthouse behind him. Just like he did every day, he strolled in the door precisely fifteen minutes after seven. Just like he did every day, he made a beeline for his wife, finding Valentino in one of his usual haunts in the house. Pulling him into the same giddy kiss he'd been given every day for the last eight years, Ostello twirled the taller Sinner as per usual.

“Mmm, good evening,” Valentino's worn-out reply was tight, clipped in a way that showed his agitation. He was tired. Tired of routine, tired of feeling stagnant, tired of Ostello and the monotony of their marriage.

If only he had found out about his husband's biggest, best-kept secret. It just might have saved his life.

“How was your day, Beautiful?” The badger asked as he dipped his lover in his arms for another kiss. It was with all of the barely-there restraint Valentino scraped off of the bottom of his skull that he didn't let his eyes roll out of his head.

“You know how it is,” The same shit on a different day. 

He was so... Tired.

“Can I make it any better?”

No.

“What did you have in mind, Hot Shot?”

“I think we could both use a little TLC.” Ostello's promise stood stories above the actual act he was initiating, and Valentino knew this routine well. Ostello would kiss him to his back on the bed and they would rock and grunt for a few minutes. It would be tender in a way that turned his stomach, gentle in ways he didn't want. Everything about it would make him pray for someone else to show up, for a different partner to liven up his life. He would wait for tomorrow with bated breath, for his devoted but lackluster husband to leave so he could invite someone to bed that knew what they were doing.

As expected, he spent the next half hour on his back, only managing an orgasm by sheer power of will. The badger worked himself up until he finally came deep inside his lover, whose hand on his own cock was the only thing helping him maintain his erection. A few more pumps and he was spent, but not so much sated. His libido was an ancient and terrible curse, and one man with one position had never and would never mean more than a drop in a bathtub of his unbridled lust.

Valentino got up when Ostello lay panting beside him, filled with his warm fuzzies and seemingly having no idea of his wife's utter and complete boredom. Valentino wrapped himself in his silky red robe trimmed in feathers, slid his feet into his fuzzy, three-inch heeled house slippers, and went to the bathroom. As he did every night, he took in the dissatisfied expression he fed himself in the mirror with disdain.

Sinners could only be killed by a holy weapon, but Ostello and his damned routine were worse than a second death.

Truthfully, Valentino didn't hate the man. He was afforded a glamorous existence, he was married to a successful musician, and he had countless love songs written for him that had topped charts one on top of the other. Valentino couldn't have been more famous in Hell if he'd tried!

But he didn't want to live in the shadow of a man that couldn't satisfy him. If he had to eke out a meager existence, then he would do so on his own terms. Living in infamy would be better than slaving himself to this monotony.

As he plucked his false eyelashes from his eyelids, he knew what he was going to do. There was no questioning it, no talking himself down from it, now. Tonight was the night.

Tonight, it was finally time to reap what he'd sown eight years ago by marrying this idiot. It had never been about love for Valentino. His marriage to Ostello had been one of convenience, one that served a grander purpose in his escalation to the top. It was little more than a hesitant step in the right direction. When it came right down to it, he didn't know why he'd put up with this for so damn long. All he could think about these days was what lay ahead of him when Ostello was dead and buried.

The same couldn't be said for Ostello. He had become instantly infatuated with Valentino upon meeting him. Like a man possessed, he sought the moth's attention, his happiness, and finally his hand in marriage. Valentino's acceptance had been the highlight of his entire existence, both alive and dead.

There would never be anything else that would top that moment for him. Nothing except waking up every morning to see his beautiful wife lying in bed with him, lips slightly parted in his sleep. Seeing him light up for his many, many expensive gifts, or watching the light in his eyes when he was given another public serenading.

Most of the Pride ring, Valentino thought, must be as tired of it as he was. Ostello was a man filled with passion, but his passions vented in ways Valentino didn't see himself entertaining for the rest of his afterlife. He couldn't do it anymore. There was nothing left for Ostello.

Tonight was the night.

Tonight, he'd be free.

His whole world would begin to come together in one fell swoop of the holy spearhead he'd smuggled out of his husband's weapons dealing hoard. Usually, Ostello kept the angelic weaponry under lock and key, but if anyone could gain access to these things, it was Valentino. He could do no wrong in the eyes of his thoroughly bewitched husband, and he would continue to do no wrong until he had ascended the stairway to Godhood.

Ostello was always a sleepy thing once they were finished. He had a habit of taking a short nap after he came, which usually gave Valentino time to shower. While the thought of doing it while the badger slept peacefully in their marital bed was one that glanced off of his brain, he decided against it quickly. He wanted to see the betrayed look, the sheer terror in Ostello's eyes as the one he loved plunged a blade deep into his chest. All he wanted, now, was a good chance to catch the badger off-guard.

It wouldn't be hard when he woke up, lazy and slow in the evening light from the pentagram shining through the window. He wouldn't be surprised to find Ostello admiring it from where he lay. The man could wax poetic about anything at all at the drop of a hat, and Valentino didn't doubt that he'd find something to say about it that he'd said a million times before. Ostello was a creature of habit.

Aside from his vices, Valentino hated settling into a habit. He wanted excitement, panache, passion, and a desperate yearning for new things, experiences, people, and places. This marriage had been doomed from the start, and every boring, bedroom lovemaking session was another nail in the badger's coffin.

Valentino left the bathroom after he had cleaned himself up, strutting in his robe and heels to where he'd stashed his weapon. He'd been planning this for some weeks now, and the time had finally come. Tonight was the culmination of his boredom with his routine, and tomorrow would come the spoils of his war with monotony.

When Ostello woke, dazed and still reeling from the sensation of getting to be with his wife, Valentino lay out on the bed beside him. The lingerie he wore was white and insanely detailed with embroidery and stitching that made him look like royalty. There was a tuille half-skirt around his hips, and down his thighs stretched a pair of black fishnets. 

“You look beautiful, Pidge.” The badger purred, his smile tender and his gaze soft, “Any special occasion?”

“Yeah, actually.” Valentino nodded, slowly sliding up onto Ostello's hips and leaning down to kiss him. His upper left hand slipped beneath the pillow and he grabbed the weapon, wrapping his fingers tightly around what he would call the hilt. The staff was missing, leaving behind only the metal that held it together, but that was fine. He could handle holding it as long as he didn't cut himself.

“What's the—” Ostello didn't get to finish his sentence. Another kiss distracted him, and then he was met with the intense burn of something plunged between his ribs on the right side. It jerked in deeper and he gagged on dark, bubbling blood that pooled in his mouth. It dripped down the side of his face, and he gazed up at Valentino with shock and horror in his eyes.

“...didn't h-hafta... End li'this.” He barely managed to cough out the words before a blinding white light filled the room. Valentino hadn't been prepared, squeezing his eyes shut against its influence, hoping not to be too entranced. Bright lights always called to him in ways he couldn't explain, being a moth.

After a moment, he felt Ostello's muscled body drop away from him, and he sat in a pile of ash that had been his now ex-husband just seconds prior. 

So, this was what freedom tasted like. He breathed deep, the heavy scent of burned flesh and fur still in the air. Acrid and disgusting as it was, it marked a new chapter in his life.

With Ostello dead and gone, Valentino was finally free to do as he pleased, to do whoever he pleased. This newfound lease on his afterlife was going to be just the thing that he needed to lift himself not only out of the dumps but into high society. The death of an Overlord heralded a new one rising in his place. All would come to fear and respect his name in due time. 

After all, there wasn't a more important Sinner in Hell than Valentino. Nobody else compared to his stunning beauty, his deceitful ways, his wicked mind, and his starvation for more. Always, always more. Too much would never be enough. His hunger for everything would never be quenched, like his sexual appetite. In all things, he was a greedy, cruel thing who thought little of the lives, wants, and needs of others.

Now, all he had to do was continue his plan. Arkadious would be his next victim, he'd already decided. After him, Mournique would fall, and then Gerouda, before he hit his magnum opus. Vox, and then Alastor, would fall to his hand just as the rest would, and his hostile takeover of Pentagram City would be complete until he required the next big thing to keep himself entertained. 

For now, though, he would rest. Moving on autopilot as he contemplated his new existence, he changed the sheets on the bed himself for once. Humming one of Ostello's songs written just for him, he smoothed out the fresh silken sheets and smiled. Free. He was finally, unequivocally, and happily free. Never again would he fall victim to something so dangerously boring as a routine. He was wild, he was spontaneous, and he was, above all else, free.

[amywritesthings]

I posted 1,295 times in 2022

That's 1,291 more posts than 2021!

372 posts created (29%)

923 posts reblogged (71%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@prolix-yuy

@iamskyereads

@amywritesthings

@meadowofsinfulthoughts

@mandosmistress

I tagged 1,281 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#feedback. - 264 posts

#fic: point a to point b - 183 posts

#q - 178 posts

#fic recs tag. - 176 posts

#commentary. - 101 posts

#din djarin - 90 posts

#pedro pascal - 82 posts

#the mandalorian - 71 posts

#art. - 67 posts

#prolix-yuy - 67 posts

Longest Tag: 103 characters

#this could also inspire me to write a line from a future fic.... stares at my 'want to write' list like

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

SERIES MASTERLIST ( WIP )

Summary: Escorting a former Empire prisoner of war to a Rebel Alliance safe zone? It should be a piece of cake. Absolutely no problems whatsoever.

A/N: Point A to Point B is a multi-chapter romance loosely following The Mandalorian S2. It follows ‘You’ and your journey with Mando after your rescue from an Imperial ship. His task is to escort you to Coruscant, though you have no memory of the cause (or who you truly are).

Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader ( Din x You ) Rating: Explicit ( 18+ only / smut noted with an asterisk*) Word Count: 54K+ Tags: Slow Burn, Smut, Mentions of PTSD, Amnesia, Adult language, Manhandling, Praise kink, Injuries, Graphic violence, Mentions of torture, Flashbacks, Yearning, Blindfolds, Mando is Very Religious, Hurt/Comfort, Sexual Tension, Dirty talk, Oral sex, Virgin!Din, Hand play, Helmet Stays On, Warnings update per chapter

( Visit my AO3 version of this story. )

CHAPTERS

1. THE EXCHANGE / 2. NAMELESS, FACELESS / 3. THE WAY / 4. A TOAST TO MARKET / 5. BAD TIMES AT THE SUPPLY ROYALE /  6. JEALOUSY / 7. GEDET’YE* / 8. READY, AIM / 9. FIRE (PART I)* / 10. FIRE (PART II)* / 11. THERE ARE OTHERS / 12. CHASING A RUMOR / 13. THE FREIGHTER / 14. WRECKED / 15. NER GAI* / 16. tbd!

Join the tag list here!

473 notes - Posted February 14, 2022

#4

Meet Me At The Usual

gif credit @ gwinammie

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Word Count: 5K

Summary: It's sophomore year Winter Formal, and things get a little messy with your secret friendship (and secret crush) with the Freak of Hawkins High.

Warnings: Language, Fluff & Angst, Secret Friendship, Unresolved Crushes, School Dances, Yearning, First Kiss, Eddie Munson in a Suit

A/N: Enjoy my self-indulgent, cavity-inducing story of Eddie Munson having a massive crush on you and not knowing how to be chill about it. I love writing this man. Prequel to Where Shadows Meet Shapes.

( Read on AO3 )

PREVIEW

“I wanted to ask you to the dance tonight,” you croak before you can chicken out.

Eddie sucks in a sharp breath, readjusting his all-too-aloof demeanor in order to protect the brief, crackled surprise underneath. 

“Little ol’ me? I thought it was supposed to be the other way: guys ask girls, yada yada—”

“You were never going to ask me.”

His chin juts back, face scrunching in offense. “That isn’t true.”

See the full post

546 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

#3

Where Shadows Meet Spaces

gif credit @ drogonstone

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader (Rated E; 18+ only)

Word Count: 2.4K

Summary: He’ll never be what your father approves of, and he’ll certainly never be a boy you can bring home to meet your mother. Eddie isn’t your life plan, but he doesn’t ask you to look anywhere beyond the here and right now.

Warnings: Smut, Oral Sex (f!receiving), Porn with Feelings, Pet Names, Protected Sex, Eager!Eddie

A/N: So did we all fall in love with the same 3x senior year goblin boy or what? I wrote this in two hours. Enjoy my thirst for this sweet idiot.

( Read on AO3 )

PREVIEW

“Do you want to roll for perception?” you ask, sliding the fingers of your right hand to the top white button.

His eyes widen gradually to the size of saucers the second the button snaps open, exposing the start of bare collarbones.

“If you talk Dirty and Dungeons to me, angel, I won’t last beyond a minute.”

“So your usual, then.”

The quick-witted response garners a genuine belly laugh from the curly-haired boy.

“Oh, fuck off.”

See the full post

578 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

#2

A FIRST FOR BREATHING

Pairing: Steven Grant x Reader (+ Marc Spector x Reader)

Word Count: 1.6K

Summary: (Spoilers) At the end of Episode 5, Steven wakes up.

Warnings: Smut, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Porn with Feelings

A/N: Marvel owes me compensation for my emotional state this morning, so here’s a little hurt & comfort smut to hopefully make you feel better. (Because I did it so I felt a little better lbr.)

Also dedicating this to the Moon Knight besties @prolix-yuy & @iamskyereads​ , ilu both.

( Read on AO3 )

It’s as if he’s taking his first gulp of air.

With an anguished gasp, Steven Grant jolts from his mattress in a cold sweat. Sometimes it’s always like this: seconds that feel like minutes, minutes that feel like hours, to get his bearings of where he’s been. Tingles at the tips of his fingers are a good sign. It means his body’s working — their body, the body that was once torn apart — and his second instinct is to stare.

In the dark, in the mirror, until he sees a familiar silhouette.

Except it isn’t his, not really. Not entirely.

The sheets beside him move, and in the gentle hue from the London street lights peering through the bedroom window he can see the relief in Marc’s face when you wrap a hand around Steven’s bare bicep.

“Steven?”

Concern. You’re not meant to be concerned, not about him. And if Steven wasn’t so frightful at the idea of Marc’s eyes disappearing from view, then maybe he would have turned faster.

“Are you alright?” he asks, but not to you.

Swallowing thick to calm the tremble in his throat, Steven waits for Marc to say something, anything, between the reflection keeping them separate.

(There was a space where the alters were tangible. Is that how close they’ll ever get, when Death is a mere few feet away?)

“Answer her, Steven,” Marc answers instead, jaw tense. 

Always so closed off. Always so worried about everyone else.

“Is Marc okay?” you murmur, cautious in your approach to be the middleman of the equation. Approaching the two can often feel like trying not to spook a wild animal — while one will respond, the other is prone to run. 

When you stare into the mirror, it’s only Steven’s wide eyes and wild curls matted to his forehead. He looks like he’s seen ghosts. The worry festers in the bottom of your stomach.

“Tell her we’re okay,” Marc urges, gaze focused on you behind Steven as if he can tell you himself without the buffer of another person.

“I— yeah, think so,” Steven finally answers for the both of them, blinking to glance at you through the reflection. 

“What about you?”

It’s eerie, how you and Marc seem to echo the same concern in different octaves. The question is spoken at the same time, further confusing reality from his own mind.

Steven squeezes his eyes shut, making a noise of discomfort. “Oh, god, dunno what the hell happened. Felt like I— like we got separated and it all went black and I couldn’t feel a bloody thing…”

“Separated?” 

You shift on the mattress to sit in front of Steven, but he’s already meeting you in the middle. With desperation, he turns from the mirror to quickly pull your face into his large hands. He inhales sharply, as if the mixture of your lingering perfume and the ability to expand his lungs will be enough to bring him solace.

Right on the precipice of what it means to be alive and dead.

See the full post

817 notes - Posted April 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Meet Me On the Other Side

PART ONE: THE PLAN

gif credit to @ joseph-quinns

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Word Count: 4.9K

Summary: The Hawkins crew only has eight people in their three-tier plan to take down Vecna. Eddie makes a Hail Mary of a phone call to even the odds.

Warnings: SPOILERS AHEAD, VOL2 FIX-IT, Language, Angst (with a Happy Ending), Unresolved Tension, Yearning, Peril, Violence, The Upside Down, Desperate-To-Kiss!Eddie, we’re writing this entire storyline baybee let’s go

A/N: Are you hurting just as much as I am after Vol2? Cool, well that didn’t happen. This is the new canon. Within the ‘Freak & Valedictorian’ series. Separate Ways (Remix) intensifies.

                     PART ONE / PART TWO / PART THREE

( Read on AO3 )

PREVIEW:

“Eddie?” Click.

And just like that, Eddie Munson is gone.

(You refuse to let that be the final say in this conversation.)

Leaving behind your homework and study for a pair of keys and sneakers, you burst from your dorm room and run down the hallway to the stairs, to the student parking lot, and beeline to your car.

Hawkins is a two hour drive.

If you double the speed limit down the interstate highway, then you can make it in half the time.

See the full post

891 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[spellbound037]

I like the idea that Remus and Regulus had always gotten along. They just understood each other. They vibed. They were chill, and Remus was the only Marauder who was normal about Jegulus.

Then the Prank rolls around and suddenly there are no 'Marauders' anymore. James pulls a dumb bitch move and, in the most out of character thing he's ever done, chooses Sirius. Oh sure, he's LIVID with Sirius, but he chooses Padfoot anyways.

Peter, despite being a simp for James, sides with Remus, because he sides with the person who can protect him, and he was introduced to the Marauders by Remus beating the everloving shit out of a bully who was picking on Peter and he is now slightly scared of the werewolf.

So Remus and Peter are alone, and even the TEACHERS are beginning to feud over the whole situation. Minnie and Pomfrey love Remus like their own child, and Sprout is 110% willing to join that group, even though she has no idea what's going on, and don't even get me started on Newt Scamander (CoMC Teacher at the time)

Around this time, the Slytherin group was starting to get tired of Snape being an asshole and an idiot, so he kinda got booted, because god knows Reggie knows Remus is a werewolf and he does NOT tolerate people trying out out his friends, be that saying that Lucius is gay as the sky is blue (It's pretty obvious but still) or saying that Barty is intersex, he won't put up with it.

Keep in mind, at this time, Remus is absolutely DROWNING in guilt and self loathing. Like, for Peter, every day is a 24 hour attempt to talk him down from the roof.

So instead of siding with Snape, Regulus replaces him with Remus. At first, everyone is kinda iffy on this, the Marauders don't exactly get along with them, but they kinda grow to 'tolerate' it. (Read: They like it and they love him)

Like, all these pureblooded reluctant Death Eaters, and a gay werewolf. It makes no sense, but it happened. Flash forwards to the beginning of year seven, Euphemia Potter takes James and Sirius to Platform 9 3/4. Remus hasn't spoken to either of them for months, to the point where they were slightly concerned.

Sirius feels bad, James feels bad, Remus wants to not exist anymore in a violent way, and Peter just wants everyone to get along. Euphemia is confused as to why Remus is just towering over against a wall instead of coming to say hi to the other Marauders, weren't they super close? Of course, she has no idea what happened, because James won't tell her The Secret.

Effie: Why is Remus standing alone?

James: It's a long story.

Effie: You and Sirius should go say hello, at least!

James: I don't wish to die today, mum.

Effie: He's your friend, and he clearly needs to talk to someone. Go check on him.

James: Mum, I promise, he does not want us to talk to him.

Effie: Then I will. *Walks away*

So Effie talks to Remus and gets more of the story. Not all, but more. She now understands the basic plot. Sirius fucked up bad, Snape also fucked up bad, James made a bad choice but it isn't his fault, Snape and Remus got hurt. Badly.

And it is at this point, when Sirius and James (Who now is targeting Lucius because Snape has blackmail) are both looking at Remus, that Regulus appears. He arrives alone, as per usual, and the first thing he does is rush over to Remus. Sirius goes completely slackjawed and has the goddamn audacity to be offended that Remus moved on so fast, despite the fact that he did not and is actually barely coping enough to talk or even just eat on a semi-regular basis.

Quickly, Remus and Regulus are joined by Barty Crouch Jr., Evan Rosier and Lucius.

And the only thing Sirius and James hear over the chaos of the station as the group passes them is "So Lucy..." Trailing off as they walk away. And Remus said it. Remus is close enough to these people to call Lucius 'I hate everyone and everything other than my hair' Malfoy by Lucy.

I don't know, I just like the idea of the Slytherins adopting Remus after The Prank.

[lunarmessenger]

RFA Dating Asexual MC - RFA, V, + Saeran

request sent in by @engel-katze . this is for you, angel! 

DISCLAIMER: I myself am NOT asexual and I can’t convey the broad spectrum that is asexuality. If any of my followers are asexual and feel like this does not represent them at all please let me know and I will adjust it to the best of my ability. I would hate to misrepresent anybody, and I want to make sure you all are seen and heard as accurately as possible. I love you. - luna xx

warnings: some sexual themes, but nothing too crazy.

Zen:

• He’s taken by surprise for sure

• He doesn’t understand it at first; he thought that maybe you just weren’t ready to go all the way with him yet, and he respected that

• But one night the both of you were exchanging kisses here and there and his hands started to wander and you could see his expression getting darker with need

• So you shoved him off of you and onto the floor

• “MC I’m so sorry I should have known that you weren’t ready yet I—”

• He isn’t hurt at all by your pushing away he just wants to understand

• And so you explain to him that it’s not...personal per say

• You thought that he was very handsome and if you could, you would absolutely jump his bones every second

• Though he’d never tell his ego was nice and fluffed by that reassurance

• But the thought of the act of having sex (with anybody, not just him) made you physically sick and he never made you feel bad about it once; if anything he was happy that you were communicating

• The two of you discuss maybe alternatives or different ways to both have that sexual release with each other, without any sort of act of intercourse involved so that it wouldn’t negatively effect you.

Yoosung

 • His self esteem took a rather hard hit for sure

• He thought that you didn’t even romantically like him and didn’t know how to tell him otherwise

• One night his hand was on your thigh and he started softly running his hand up and down

• You looked away from the television to look at him, noticing how his brows were furrowed from nerves as he looked at you.

• “Yoosung...?” Your voice was anxious and he could tell, but he thought that maybe if he just tried a little harder; made the first push.

• He kissed you once, and then gently placed you in his lap, and as you sat there you could feel his lower region beginning to harden

• “Oh, oh God no wait—” You hurriedly pushed yourself off, standing away from him across the coffee table as his face fell

• “Is...is it me? Am I not attractive enough? I know that I’m not rich like Jumin, or as toned and attractive as Zen, but...” His eyes started to fill with tears and you instantly felt your heart sank

• “No! Oh, God Yoosung no please...” You hurriedly ran to his lap and knelt in front of him, taking his hands in yours

• You tried your best to explain what it was and why you didn’t really want to have sex with him

• He was so relived that he cried

• He’s lowkey okay with it because while, he’s never experienced sex and he knows that he wants to have sex and experiences sexual attraction

• He’s too anxious about his performance in the bedroom to do anything anyway; he just tried initiating things because he thought that’s what you wanted

Jaehee

• Not even phased lmao

• You’d decided to tell her one night after work when the two of you were exhausted and you just blurted it out

• “I...I’m asexual, Jaehee. I don’t...I don’t feel sexual attraction.”

• “....okay.”

• That was literally it

• You were actually a little pissy that she reacted so calmly; since that’s not the reaction you usually get

• She honestly didn’t care if you wanted to have sex or not; if anything after you’d explained to her what it was she herself thought that that might be her sexuality too

• She has always been romantically attracted to women, but when it came to sex for either gender she just felt...like it was pointless. No need.

• “I think I was able to take it so easily MC is because, well, I think I am too.”

• You were okay with that. More than okay with that.

Jumin

• It was hard enough for Jumin to get a better understanding of his own emotions

• You didn’t want to overwhelm him with your sexuality, especially because of how rare it was

• One night the two of you were in bed, his hands wandering over your body as you two kissed

• You weren’t fully comfortable but you figured maybe, just maybe you could do it. For him.

• That didn’t work well at all

• “Are you sure, MC?”

• “Yes, Jumin. Go ahead.”

• “...Then why are you crying?” You hadn’t even realized until he said it, shaking your head softly as you sniffed

• “Don’t worry about it okay? Just..are you almost done?”

• “MC.” He was concerned and a little hurt, immediately pulling away as he turned on the bedroom lights

• You covered your naked body and immediately began to sob, Jumin holding you close as your body shook from how hard you were crying

• “I’m so sorry, please don’t be angry with me. I...I’m asexual, Jumin. I can’t do it I can’t—”

• “Shh, MC it’s alright. It’s okay. I just wish you’d told me sooner, darling...”

• After that night Jumin tried his best to make sure he didn’t cross any boundaries

• If he wasn’t working on paperwork from his job he was reading a book on asexuality and researching it, just to make sure he knew the ins and outs of a rather important part of you

707

• He thinks you’re joking at first when you tell him the poor idiot

• He knows that asexuality is rare and so he figured it was just another sort of prank or joke that you were trying to pull

• To be fair you were rather nonchalant about it because you figured it was important he know and that he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it like others have in the past

• So he freaks out when out of nowhere he shoves his hands down your pants with a cheeky giggle while you guys are play fighting and you immediately scream and bite his shoulder

• And I mean bite it like you drew blood from how hard you bit this man

• “Ah! MC, what the hell?!”

• “I should be asking you that! What is your problem? Don’t stick your hand down my pants you asshole!”

• You immediately ran out of the living room and slammed the bedroom door behind you, feeling embarrassed and a little violated by your own boyfriend

• While he hurriedly tends to his shoulder to stop the bleeding his mind immediately drifts back to the conversation you’d had with him towards the beginning of the relationship

• He literally wants to kms he’s so mad at himself

• He figured you two hadn’t had sex yet because you were just trying to take it slow; after all it’d only been a few months

• Now he understands

• He gave you time to calm down and after about an hour he reaches out to you

• He fiercely apologizes and promises that he will educate himself better and take you more seriously

V

• Like Jumin he’s not really familiar with the term itself

• So when you bring it up to him he’s a little embarrassed to ask so many questions to clarify what that meant for the two of you

• “Essentially, you don’t feel sexual attraction? Like when you look at me, or anybody else who you want to have sex you just don’t feel the need to?”

• “In a way, yeah. Every person who is asexual is different, but that’s how I feel about it. I personally can have sex with you I just... I won’t really want it and I don’t need it.”

• Still a bit confused but he respects your boundaries, always

• “Okay, MC. Thank you for letting me know.”

• He’s never been in a relationship like this before, and his last one was a complete train wreck

• But he’s trying

• You both establish boundaries with one another when it comes to intimacy; what he’s comfortable with and what you’re comfortable with

• It was a bit rough and took a lot of adjusting but with patience and progress the two of you ended up with a healthy and happy relationship

Saeran

• “You’re what?”

• He really isn’t trying to be an asshole, he just genuinely is surprised and confused

• He’s still dealing with his emotional and physical trauma that he went through from his childhood and Mint Eye

• The idea of having sex and being intimate with you was the last thing on his mind and you were okay with that

• At first he thought that your sexuality had something to do with your upbringing and trauma and he thought you two would be able to relate

• While you didn’t have the easiest childhood, that wasn’t why you were asexual. That’s just...the way you were. You always have been asexual you were just born that way.

• “So it’s like when you’re gay? Or bisexual?”

• “Yes precisely.”

• He understands a lot more now and he tries his best to educate himself and keep himself in line

[woogyu]

Funny Drabble Game

Drabble Prompts; fluff | angst | funny (when requesting PLEASE add which prompt list it is from)

Can have up to 3 prompts per request + can send multiple requests.

They will all be written for fem reader. I’m very sorry about this, it is just because of what I know/have experience in writing.

Please format requests as follows; funny member prompt # or #s.

ex. funny member #12 + #15

ex. funny florist!member x student!reader #14

Send your requests/asks: here

~ prompts under the cut ~

crossed out = don’t request, usually for when I’ve gotten tired of a specific prompt coming up too often or I don’t like it

Drabble Prompts [credit; https://justforshitsandcackles.tumblr.com ]

“You’re such a fun drunk.”

“Since my dog likes you then i guess i like you.”

“Tell them to fuck off.”

“It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”

“I want to strangle you 99% of the time.”

“Could you not suck for five minutes?”

“The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

“You can’t banish me! This is my bed/bedroom too!”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“Well thats tragic.”

“I’m too sober for this.”

“You are actually insane!”

“I think you’re actually satan.”

“It’s like -50 degrees in here.”

“Laugh at my jokes! They’re funny and you know it!”

“Sorry isn’t going to help when i kick your ass!”

“Don’t let one of them electrocute themselves or something.”

“Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

“Do you find this amusing, fuck face?”

“Holy shit! That thing is huge!”

“Don’t kink shame me.”

“I hope i’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”

“I just cleaned that!”

“Don’t get sassy with me!”

“What do you have behind your back?”

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but the dog loves me more.”

“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.”

“Bite me.” “If you insist.”

“Im not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“I need you to be my fake girlfriend/boyfriend.”

“Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles?”

“You snuck into my room, at 4am..to cuddle?”

“If we get caught i’m blaming you.”

“What? No! I wasn’t staring..i-i was looking at something behind you!”

“I locked the keys in the car.”

“This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“Define normal.”

“Do i get bonus points if i act like i care?”

“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and i don’t speak english.”

“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

“And you wonder why you’re single.”

“Remind me to kill you. Please.”

“I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

“She’s crazy. and just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, theres a crazy underground garage.”

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

“My middle finger salutes you.”

“I don’t think i could ever stab someone. I mean, lets be honest, i can barely get the straw in the capri sun.”

“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how i feel.”

“Somebodys cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

“All due respect but thats a bunch of crap.”

“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

“What did i tell you about calling him/her the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

“I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”

“If history repeats itself, i am so getting a dinosaur.”

“You seem somewhat familiar. have i threatened you before?”

“Even when we were kids, i always kicked your ass!”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

“Do i regret it? Yes. Would i do it again? Probably.”

“You’re going to burn in a very special level in hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers, and people who talk at the theater.”

“I’m not a damsel in distress. i’m a damsel doing damage.”

“Sometimes i question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

“Why should we date?” “Because we’re attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but i do not feel the need to date pie.”

“Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.”

“You’ve successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”

“Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

“Wow somebody needs a happy meal.”

“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.”

“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

“I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. give me a drink.”

“Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.”

“I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but…no.”

“If you pull out my earphones, i will pull out your lungs.”

“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. thats cute.”

“I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

“My ex? Yeah id still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or a baseball bat.”

“Such big evil in such a little thing.”

“For the love of fuck.” “Yep, thats me. i love to fuck.”

“Are you ready to go?” “Yeah. let me grab my machete.” “We’re going to sephora. no machetes needed.”

Clears throat seriously, “Yas bitch.”

“No road trip is complete without the snacks. So go in there and buy everything you can fit in a tiny cart.”

“I’m all for making you miserable by being insufferable, but unfortunately i have things to do today.”

“Come on, you can help me make conspiracy theories. If you make an especially good one, ill pay for dinner.”

“You know what? Why not? I haven’t ruined my life yet this week. Lets go.”

“Do these dark circles under my eyes say nothing to you about how i am doing?”

“If i didn’t know you better, id say you were trying to flirt by giving me books.”

“What are you talking about? Im hilarious!”

“Duct tape? Duct tape is not going to fix this!”

“What did you think? That you were going to fight him?”

“You’re blocking the view.” “I am the view.”

“Why are you on the floor?” “Tying my shoe.” “You’re wearing rain-boots.”

“Cant stop me from slaying!”

“Close your eyes and imagine it, all the dogs in the world.”

“Be careful, he’s so sweet you might get diabetes.”

“Would you reconsider if i was sober?”

“Stop running i’m wearing flip flops!”

“Why are you holding your boobs?”

“I wouldn’t call it stalking, more like far distance admiring.”

“You need to stop making her laugh! you’re ruining her makeup!”

“I’m sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification from just staring at him if i try hard enough.”

“I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not.”

“I’m either in the mood for french fries or to rip someone’s head off. Hmmm. decisions, decisions.”

“If you’re not out of the shower in the next five minutes, i’m going to cut your fucking hair off to make your life quicker.”

“No, i will not dress up as a chicken.”

“I never told my extended family that we broke up, and now they want to know when you’re coming over for dinner again.”

“I need a date to my relatives wedding, and i’ve already asked literally everyone else i know, so i know you probably hate me, but please say yes. Otherwise they’ll try to set me up with someone, and they have awful taste.”

“One more sound and i swear to-”

“Sometimes when (name) texts me, i just pretend they didn’t so i don’t have to respond.”

“You gave our pigeon boyfriend the wrong beans!”

“If i’m like 50 and still single, ill marry you because tax benefits.”

“Please, never have children.”

“I know its like 11pm, but i’m on my way to your house with nacho fries.”

“Sometimes i wish i was gay so i wouldn’t have to deal with all these dumbass boys.

“You know, would’ve been nice if you told me your whole ass family was coming to this dinner! I look like a troll.”

“Im going to the party to pet the dog, no thanks drugs.”

“I hope in college i get some excuse to deck him. Maybe with a bottle or something, ill wing it and be like “oops, sorry shithead, my hand slipped.”

“What is this shit…i’m just trying to graduate.”

“Ooo, i sense attitude in your tone.”

“Guess who only got two hours of sleep? Me, lol, i’m gonna die.“

“I’m gonna strangle you.” “Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Superheroes aren’t allowed in my house, especially after they’ve destroyed my living room. go away.”

“oh you’re coming. even if i have to drag you through the snow in your pajamas.”

“i swear you’re gonna end up getting like botox in your tits or something.” “well i mean-” “whAT DO YOU MEAN?!”

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hi could you rec some gen fics

Hi Nonny!! 

I’ve a tonne of G and T rated fics, and I’m using this opportunity to clear another list off my Check-List, T-Rated Part 3! It’s a nice long list, so hope you enjoy! 

As per usual, friends, the third reblog will be the mobile post (I do that to generate the “full post”, and then “read more” the original post), so I am sorry :P

T-RATED FICS Pt. 3

See also:

T-RATED Pt. 1: Friends To Lovers Fics || [MOBILE LINK]

T-Rated Fics Pt. 2 (October 2018) (LONG POST) || MOBILE POST

Smut-Free Fics Over 50K (Aug 2019)

And When The Night Is Over by Simply Isnt On (K, 329 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Platonic Bed Sharing / Not Slash) – Sherlock and John sleep together.

When Morning Comes by Youarethelightoftheworld (T, 423 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Lazy Mornings/Morning After, Fluff and Angst, Sleepy Cuddles, Domestic Fluff, Cuddling / Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort) – “Sherlock,” says John solemnly, “I’m not sure we can go anywhere today.”

Dinner With John by Zang Bluetterfly (T, 505 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Romance) – “Let’s have dinner, John.” Sherlock secretly smiled. Irene had been right: he had rejected her dinner’s invitation because he already had John by his side, even though the doctor was still clueless about Sherlock’s true feelings for him.

The Moment When by drekadair (K, 509 w., 1 Ch. || TGG Fic, Friendship, First Person POV Sherlock, Introspection, Worried Sherlock) – Sherlock sees John in the pool, and doubts. Set during the end of “The Great Game.”

A Perfect Figure by ecb327 (K, 622 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, First Person POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Introspection, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Light Angst) – Sherlock build a spot in his mind palace for John.

Do You Love Me? by whitchry9 (K, 641 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Family, Epic Bromance) – John asks Sherlock perhaps the most important question.

New World, Old Words by thedeafwriter (G, 641 w., 1 Ch. || Deaf Sherlock, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Always John) – It was disconcerting to experience. One second, he was laying on the table, breathing in the gas that would make him sleep, the next, he was dragging his eyes open to look around the bright room, trying to wake up.

Five Seconds by xXLadyLovelaceXx (K+, 658 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Introspection, TGG Pool Scene) – In the half-second before Sherlock shoots the jacket, John notices something.

I Knew You Loved Me by inevitably_johnlocked (T, 743 w., 1 Ch. || Morning Cuddles, Fluff, Clingy Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slice of Life, Morning After, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Declarations of Love, Pet Name, Bed Sharing, Snuggles) – John and Sherlock share a lie-in the morning after their first time. So fluffy and gross your teeth will fall out. Part 4 of I-J’s Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Promises Kept by grannysknitting (K+, 844 w., 1 Ch. || John POV, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship / Pre-Slash, Sherlock’s Violin, Worried Sherlock, John Whump, Post-TGG) – When they were in hospital, Sherlock made a promise to himself. Now he’s keeping it. Set after ’Polygamous Marriage’ but before ’Back in the Saddle’

Possessive by Fang323 (T, 850 w., 1 Ch. || John Whump, Hospitalization, Possessive / Protective Sherlock, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort) – His John did not belong. Not here. Not in this blasted hospital. It simply was not logical.

Concussions And Good Old Fashioned Awkwardness by Belldere (K+, 894 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Hospitals, Mild John Whump, Misunderstandings, Platonic Relationship, Concussions, Not-Gay John, Possessive Sherlock) – When John lands himself in hospital… again, all he wants is to just get out of there as soon as possible, too bad his doctor has other ideas about where John may be getting his injuries. Good thing concussions make everything strangely funnier.

Once Upon A Time by ProfessorSquirrell (T, 908 w., 1 Ch. || Family, Snippets of Life, Romance, Sherlock���s Mind Palace, Implied Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending) – There is a room in Sherlock’s mind palace where nothing gets deleted. And it looks like this…

Burn Burn by Jenn1984 (K+, 925 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG, Angst, Worried / Panicked / Possessive Sherlock) – A week after the events of “The Great Game”, Sherlock returns to 221B Baker Street to find it empty.

Texts and Tea by JillianWatson1058 (K, 959 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Texting, Humour, Fluff, POV John, Cranky John) – A John who is woken up at 2:30 in the morning is not a happy John. Sherlock, frankly, doesn’t care. He just wants his tea.

My Unfortunately Average Sized Cranium by Haelia (K+, 996 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Headache, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Past Drug Use, Doctor John) – In which Sherlock has a migraine. ALMOST Johnlock. Not quite.

Do You Renounce Evil? by BenAddiction (K, 1,037 w., 1 Ch. || Family, Friendship, No Slash) – John and Mary have a question for Sherlock.

Five Times John Watson Remained Oblivious by thriceandonce (K+, 1,154 w., 1 Ch. || Five and Ones, Romance, Friendship, Asexual Sherlock, Queerplatonic Relationship) – …And one time he didn’t.

Common Knowledge by The Assassin’s Pen (K, 1,223 w., 1 Ch. || Family, Hurt/Comfort, Sort-Of Parentlock, Angry John) – John can’t sleep because his infant daughter can’t sleep. Sherlock can’t think because of all the crying. And Mary can’t seem to calm the infant either. Sherlock’s robotic response to the problem reveals something very human at his core. Fluffy one shot!

Sherlock Is Not The One You Should Worry About by AllesandraQuartermaine (K, 1,077 w., 1 Ch. || Sally POV, Character Reflection, Praising John) – Sally Donovan’s eyes are opened about a certain Doctor John Watson.

Peacock by ClassyGirlsWearPearls (T, 1,189 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Cranky Sherlock, Soft John, Hand Holding, Soft Sherlock) – A study in Sherlock and John.

Our Bodies Bend Light by lovetincture (G, 1,211 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Beekeeping, Retirement) – They got married. Of course they got married. Snapshots in a relationship. There’s a jar of bees in the bookstore and a cottage in Sussex. Sherlock’s not the marrying kind, and John’s tried this once before, but they’re Sherlock and John. Of course.

Sleep Tonight by Jenn1984 (T, 1,220 w, 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Bed Sharing, Worried Sherlock, Sick John, Hugs/Cuddles, Touch Neediness) – Fingers begin prying open his jacket looking for a wound and John would really like to swat at them. No, he’s not hit anywhere, he’s just damn sick.- John Watson has a fever.

Common Knowledge by The Assassin’s Pen (K, 1,223 w., 1 Ch. || Family, Hurt/Comfort, Sort-Of Parentlock, Angry John) – John can’t sleep because his infant daughter can’t sleep. Sherlock can’t think because of all the crying. And Mary can’t seem to calm the infant either. Sherlock’s robotic response to the problem reveals something very human at his core. Fluffy one shot!

Idiot by Anesthesiologist (T, 1,229 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Alternate TGG / Explosion, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Inner Monologue, John Saves Sherlock, POV Sherlock) – What the heck happened? He remembered the pool and Moriarty, but then what? Had he been dying?

Mizzle by MrsNoggin (K, 1,233 w., 1 Ch || Friendship, Fluff, Platonic Johnlock, Humour, Slice of Life) – John can’t decide if it’s raining or not. Sherlock doesn’t understand.

First Thing in the Morning by englishtutor (T, 1,273 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Banter, Humour) – In which John and Mary return from their honeymoon and are immediately plunged back into real life. Can they cope?

And, Usually, He’s the One Who GIVES Me a Headache by Cumberbatch Critter (T, 1,315 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, POV John, Cranky John, Headaches, Head Massage) – A migraine is never fun.

A Better Fate Than Wisdom by flawedamythyst (G, 1,339 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, John’s Sexuality Crisis, Pining Sherlock, Happy Ending, Fluff) – Nearly four hours pass between their first kiss and their second.

Five Times John Didn’t Notice Sherlock (and one time he did) by somanyhands (T, 1,369 w., 6 Ch. || Friendship, Five and Ones, 221B Format Oneshots) – Five times out oblivious John Watson didn’t notice Sherlock, and one time he really did. A short series of (five plus one) 221B fics, just because.

God Save The Queen by Alice Day (K+, 1,398 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Mystery, Friendship) – Sherlock has a new case. John is petrified. The Queen is amused.

I Was Wrong by AllesandraQuartermaine (K, 1,496 w., 1 Ch. || TGG AU, Friendship, Hospitalization / Injury, John’s Self Esteem, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sherlock and John have a conversation a few days after the pool face off with Moriarty. And John hears something quite surprising.

Angel by MrsNoggin (T, 1,513 w., 1 Ch. || Winglock, Friendship, Chromoesthesia, Drugging) – John is an angel. That can be the only explanation. A response to the challenging request for a realistic wingfic one-shot.

You Should Have Let Me Sleep! by theraggedypond (T, 1,542 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Sleepy Sherlock, Cranky Sherlock, Domestics) – After a three day case with no sleep and hardly any food, Sherlock is recovering from it by playing comatose. John finds out what happens when you wake up London’s favorite consulting detective.

Here to Stay by MockJayPhoenix12 (K, 1,574 w., 1 Ch. || Post Reunion, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Headache, Bed Sharing, Care Taker Sherlock, Hand Holding, Fluff) – On Sherlock’s first day home, John wakes with a migraine.

Happy Birthday John by Starlight05 (K, 1,580 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, John’s Birthday, Shopping, 3rd Person POV John) – When an important date comes up, Sherlock finds himself doing something he never has before - shopping! But will he succeed and manage to get his best friend a present?

Together is What we Have, Together Protects Us by Phantom of the Black Pearl (K+, 1,566 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship / Platonic or Slash, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Sherlock, Worried Sherlock, Slice of Life) – After a case one evening in the flat Sherlock voices a concern that causes the pair to consider why they’ve chosen to stick together after all that’s happened.

3:00 in the Morning is a Great Time to Talk by Aztecwarfareandcrumping (K+, 1,775 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Bed Sharing, First Person POV John, Cuddling, Worried Sherlock, Comforting John, Platonic Affection/Love) – “Are you trying to talk your way into my bed?” “Obviously.”

Santa Knows by Itsallfine (T, 1,719 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas Party, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Matchmaking, POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock) – Sherlock and John both get exactly what they want from the Yard’s secret Santa exchange. Pure holiday fluff.

Upon This Throne by ifonlynotnever (T, 1,773 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Angst, Romance, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Introspection, Imagery, Pining Sherlock, Drug Use, Passage of Time) – Inside Sherlock’s mind is a Palace. Inside the Palace are many rooms. Within the largest room is the Throne. Upon the Throne sits the King.

Love and Bombs by Spark Writer (T, 1,780 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3, Romance, Angst, Pining Sherlock, 1st Person POV Sherlock, Introspection, Ambiguous Ending) – Love and bombs aren’t all that different, John. In the end, they’re almost indistinguishable.

Quite Contrary by Hollyesque (T, 1,805 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fic, Sherlock Whump / After Mary Shot Sherlock, Hallucinations / Flashbacks / PTSD, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Lestrade POV, ) – A short one-shot, alternate scene to Greg’s hospital visit in HLV. Instead of Sherlock disappearing, Greg is faced with an unexpected reaction to a hospitalized Sherlock and winds up figuring out something that he really would have rather not known.

The Stranger by LaKoda0518 (T, 1,844 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Fluff, First Kiss, For a Case, Mysterious Madman, Lonely John) – John Watson is standing on the platform waiting to board a train to his sister’s after being invalided home from Afghanistan. A chance meeting with a mysterious madman turns his world upside down and changes his life forever.

One in Ten Thousand by Blind Author (K+, 1,856 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG, Friendship / Pre-Slash, Discussions of Violence, Worried then Curious Sherlock, Scars/John’s Bullet Wound, Medical Anomolies) – John seems to have unusual mobility for a shoulder wound…

The Three-Word Tin Collection by TheBookshelfDweller (K, 1,885 w., 1 Ch. || First Person Sherlock POV, Mild Pining, Angst, Romance, Hiatus) – What happens when Sherlock has to store the things he wants to say to John while deconstructing Moriarty’s web, but the Mind palace proves an inadequate place to store them?

Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil by PipMer (T, 1,895 w., 1 Ch. || Deaf John, Mute Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Fluff and Angst, Character Study, Morse Code, Love Confessions) – John is deaf. Sherlock is mute. There are no two people more suited for each other.

The Adventure of the Mysterious Appearance of Tissues by Gwen’s Blue Box (K+, 1,910 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Sick John, Caring Sherlock, Hurt/Comfort) – In which there is a case, John has caught a cold and is not interested in investigating, Mrs Hudson is away and Sherlock does the shopping.

Baskerville After Dark by Ttime42 (T, 1,921 w., 1 Ch. || THoB, Friendship, Humor, Bed Sharing, Missing Scenes, Cranky John, Cuddles) – John and Sherlock have to share a bed at Baskerville. Gen, but can be preslash.

They’re Taking My Wisdom by whitchry9 (K+, 1,939 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Drugging, Dentists, Friendship, Anxious Sherlock, Humour) – Sherlock goes to the dentist. Of course, being Sherlock, things have to be complicated. Oh and drugs. They’re always fun.

The Perfect Place by SilverSmile (K+, 1,955 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance, 5 and Ones, Fluff, Experiments, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock attempts to find the perfect place to sleep, but his little experiment proves to be far more difficult than expected.

Fascination by xLaramiex (K, 1,959 w., 2 Ch. || Friendship, Cranky Sherlock) – Ch1: John returns home to find Sherlock sleeping on the sofa. At least, he thinks he does. Ch2: Once again, John is forced to abandon his food to trail after Sherlock. He doesn’t even know why.

Denial Isn’t Just a River in Egypt by satanatemycat (T, 2,107 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Texting, Bored/Cranky Sherlock) – In which John makes a bet with a co-worker. If he wins, she shuts up about him and Sherlock being a couple. If he loses… well, that doesn’t matter, because he won’t lose. Because he and Sherlock ARE NOT a couple. Right?

The Imminent Danger of a Tumblr-Night by Loveismyrevolution (T, 2,135 w., 1 Ch. || Tumblr Fics, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock is Out of His Depth, Humour, Fluff, Pining Sherlock, Military Kink, POV Sherlock) – Sherlock gets into trouble when he pretends to know all about John’s favourite social media site - tumblr. To save face he seeks help from one of the bloggers and gains more answers than he had aimed for.

The Case of the Missing Blogger by nicknack22 (K, 2,147 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Friendship, Worried / Anxious Sherlock) – Alternately titled, The Case of the Oblivious Consulting Detective. In which Sherlock comes out of his mind palace to discover John missing. 221B does not fair well as a result.

Study in John by chappysmom (K+, 2,158 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiP, POV John, Introspection, Friendship, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, John’s Limp) – After the events of “A Study in Pink,” John lies on the couch in Baker Street and thinks about the whirlwind events of the day. What is he getting himself into?

A Room of One’s Own by whitchry9 (K+, 2,174 w., 5 Ch. || S2 Timeline, Hurt/Comfort, Supernatural, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Coma, John Whump, Worried Sherlock, POV John, Angst, Friendship/Bromance, Hospital) – When a severe head injury lands John in a coma, somehow he ends up in Sherlock’s mind palace. It’s actually pretty nice there, and John is entertaining the notion of staying there, rather than returning to his broken body. But Sherlock isn’t taking it as well, and John can feel him breaking around him.

Crisis Averted by Spartangal22 (T, 2,188 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fic, Missing Scene After Confronting Mary, Canon Compliant, Sherlock Whump / Mary Shot Sherlock, Family / Friendship, Hospitalization, Sherlock POV, Holmes Brothers) – Lying in the hospital, Sherlock receives some surprising visitors, and manages to deal with two problems he’s been having lately. A missing scene from HLV about a formal introduction that was never made and a visit that was never shown.

Love Hurts by Grac3 (T, 2,215 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, Pining Sherlock, One-Sided Pining / URT, Sherlock / John Whump, Angst, Ambiguous Ending) – In a world where someone’s physical injuries manifest themselves on the person who is in love with them, John didn’t think that there would ever be anyone who was willing to risk falling in love with him - until he got shot on a case, and it didn’t hurt. Unrequited Johnlock.

Coming Full Circle by KCS (K+, 2,358 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate TGG, Friendship, Drama, Violence/Death References, Drugging/Poisoning, Kidnapping, BAMF John, Moriarty POV, Introspection) – Moriarty had John for almost six hours between his abduction and the showdown at the pool - more than enough time to implement a Plan B for his escape should Sherlock call his bluff with the fake bomb vest.

Work On Your Balance by speculate (K+, 2,448 w., 1 Ch. || Embarrassed Sherlock, For A Case, Skating, Fluff, Friendship, Humour) – In which John is actually pretty good at ice skating, Sherlock’s not and insists it’s all for a case , and Lestrade is pretty amused by it all.

The Many Faces of Concern by sdrawkcabemdaer5 (K+, 2,473 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Angsty Fluff, John Whump, Mildly Clueless Sherlock) – John is injured on a case, leading to some surprising reactions and discoveries about their friendship.

Nothing Left Untouched by ForeverShippingJohnlock (K+, 2,617 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Romance, Bed Sharing, Oblivious Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Grumpy John, Fluff and Cuddles) – Sherlock rearranges the flat. So what if John’s bedroom is now a research library. It’s not like John needs a bedroom, he can share with Sherlock. They’re friends and John has obviously slept in close quarters with men before and it’s not like Sherlock sleeps much anyway. It’ll be fine.

Insomnia by TheSingingGirl (K+, 2,635 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Bed Sharing, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sleep is merely the next frontier in what has become the battle to keep Sherlock alive. It’s because of this that John ends up in bed with a sociopath.

Those Days by StillWaters1 (T, 2,663 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD / Sensory Attacks, Caring Sherlock) – If Sherlock had danger nights, then these were John’s danger days.

Domino by Deception’s Call (K, 2,689 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Scared / Worried Sherlock, John Whump, Crying Sherlock, Hospital, Implied Caretaker Sherlock) – When John is injured on a case and is admitted to the hospital, those at Scotland Yard come to realize that perhaps Sherlock Holmes has a heart after all.

Not My Proudest Moment by charlock221 (K, 2,695 w., 1 Ch. || Lunar New Year, Mild PTSD / Panic Attack, Coping Mechanisms, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort) – John tries his best not to get in the way of Sherlock’s cases, but when the vivid noises of fireworks unnerve his senses and begin to bring back unwanted memories of Afghanistan, he cannot help but to hope Sherlock will notice and help him before things go too far.

BBCSH ‘The Comfort of Company’ by tigersilver (T, 2,769 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF/Mary, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Bed Sharing, Grumpy John, Touching, Clingy/Handsy Sherlock, Cranky Sherlock, Fluff and Light Angst) – It’s a trope that John and Sherlock end up sharing in the same bed eventually and I admit I do adore it unconditionally, along with all it infers as to the lowering of defenses and the heightening of trust. I put forth for your consideration that the notion persists because those who think about these things realize these two men are each in dire need of some good company.

One to Spare by englishtutor (K, 2,862 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Sherlock POV) – In which Sherlock becomes alarmed at the change Mary Morstan has made in John. With spoilers from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s book “The Sign of Four”

The Rational Machine by Solstice Zero (K, 2,924 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, Malnourishment / Fainting, Doctor / Minder John) – Sherlock passes out. John muses on the reasons why. Containing an absorbing case, two bags of shopping, and a few apples.

Your Pain in my Hands by aceofhearts61 (T, 2,984 w., 1 Ch. || Asexual Sherlock / Straight Homoromantic John, Established Relationship, Asexual Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling and Snuggling, Massage, Fluff, Bedsharing) – Sherlock and John comfort each other through physical pain, using massage. Part 13 of A Love with No Name

Museums and Laboratories by RhododendronPonticum (T, 3,004 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, Obsessive Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, Anxiety/Panic Attack, Separation Anxiety, Doctor John, Co-Dependent Sherlock) – If Sherlock’s kitchen was his laboratory, then his bedroom was his museum.

Better Late Than Never by sussexbound (NR (T), 3,021 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4 / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Sherlock POV, Love Confessions, Drunk Sherlock / Sober John, John Takes Care of Sherlock, First Kiss, Jealous Sherlock, Emotional Turmoil) – He suddenly wants John Watson out of his bedroom, out of his flat, out of his life, because he has been lying to himself these last few months, he realises. He doesn’t want John here, not with the way things are. He doesn’t want 221b Baker Street to be nothing more than rest stop John returns to on his journeys between women. He doesn’t want to play co-parent if Rosie is going to be snatched away from him and placed in the arms of whatever nameless woman du jour John lands on next. He doesn’t want to keep being so careful, so generous, so, so…

The General Idea by agirlsname (T, 3,022 w., 1 Ch. || Retirement, Promise of Forever / Proposal, POV John, First Kiss, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Soft Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Crying / Emotional Sherlock, Love Confessions) – After twenty years of friendship, John is used to Sherlock acting weirdly. But the news Sherlock finally brings himself to deliver change the carefully built dynamics between them, and John realises it’s time to act.

Reversed by whitchry9 (K+, 3,072 w., 6 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Medical Anomolies, John Gets Shot) – The man pointed his gun at John’s chest, right at his heart, and shot.’ Wherein John is shot, and Sherlock is the one panicking.

It’s Just Another Birthday by Vintage Tea Party (K, 3,207 w., 2 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Sherlock’s Birthday, Sherlock 3rd Person POV) – When John makes a birthday cake for Sherlock he thinks it’s an innocent enough gesture. But nothing is ever normal with Sherlock and this isn’t just another birthday.

As You Wish by PipMer (K, 3,311 w., 1 Ch. || Bromance/Pre-Slash/Epic Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, John Whump, Hospitals) – When John woke from his coma, he wasn’t at all surprised to see the wrong Holmes brother sitting at his bedside. Disappointed, but not surprised.

The Dangers of Dating by verityburns (T, 3,325 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Case Fic, No Slash, John Whump, 3G, Worried Sherlock) – Sherlock and John acquire a new client… with a very unusual problem.

After the Bombs by VampirePam (T, 3,337 w., 2 Ch. || THoB AU, Drugs, John’s PTSD, Panic Attack, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Angst, Hurt/Comfort) – In which the drugs Sherlock used to dose John trigger a severe episode of PTSD. When terrors old and new cause John to fall apart, Sherlock must rectify his mistake and pick up the pieces.

Study in Sherlock by chappysmom (K+, 3,790 w., 1 Ch. || ASiP, Friendship, Introspection, Anxious Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Caring Sherlock, Stroppy Sherlock) – Sherlock’s thoughts and feelings during A Study in Pink. What DID he think of John, and why was he being so NICE?

Breakfast, acronyms and brotherhood by Rose de Sharon (K+, 4,074 w., 1 Ch. || TBB Fic, Friendship/Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Protective John, Fluff) – Set after The Blind Banker: my take of Sherlock and John’s conversation over breakfast. S/J friendship, bromance, no slash.

Human Body Pillow by Lunavere (K, 4,122 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Five and Ones, Sleepy Johnlock, Bed Sharing) – A story about the five times John fell asleep on Sherlock, and the one time Sherlock fell asleep on him.

Living Musical by VeeTheRee (G, 4,149 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Hobbies, Summer, Song Fic, POV Sherlock, Painting, Play Fighting, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Love Declarations, Hair Petting, Promise of Forever) – A one-shot of John and Sherlock being domestic during summer. There is paint, fluff, and music from Imagine Dragons, namely from the album 'Speak To Me’, specific song in this one-shot is 'Living Musical’. Part 1 of the Happy Fluffy Johnlock Time series

The Oolong Disaster by unicornpoe (T, 4,151 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Beard, Fluff, Humour, Frustrated Sherlock, John Takes Care of Sherlock, Case Fic-ish, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Possessive Sherlock) – John has a beard. Sherlock has a panic attack.

Between Asleep and Awake by katydidit (K, 4,309 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Sick Fic, Post-TRF / Reunion) – John is sick. Incredibly, extremely, dangerously sick. Plagued by a high fever, he begins to hallucinate, start seeing things that aren’t really there. Because they can’t be there. Can they?

Afghanistan in Baskerville by Amaya Ramiel (K+, 4,357 w., 1 Ch. || THoB Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Drugged John, PTSD / Panic Attack, Hallucinations, Worried Sherlock, John’s Past, Friendship) – What if John hadn’t seen the hound when Sherlock trapped him in the lab? What if instead, his very real nightmares of the war had materialized all around him? Trapped and drugged, John can’t tell what’s real and what’s not. How will Sherlock react?

Mary by englishtutor (K, 4,358 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Romance, No Slash) – In which Mary Morstan attempts to endear herself to Sherlock Holmes.

What You Are Worth by Lastew (T, 4,488 w., 1 Ch. || Observant But Insecure John, Friendship, Crime / Case Fic) – John helps Sherlock with a case, but he questions his real value to Sherlock.  

Let Down by Gandalf3213 (K+, 4,505 w., 2 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, John Whump, Insecure John) – John truly is sorry for letting Sherlock down. The only thing he wanted to do was finish the case, but bleeding out in a dark alley makes it harder for him to pursue that murderer running out of sight.

The Care and Keeping of Your Mad Genius by Janieshi (T, 4,553 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG, Friendship, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Light Humour/Teasing, Alternating POV, Cranky Sherlock) – If he hadn’t been so focused on holding the bastard still, John would have laughed aloud. This maniac really thought John was the pet in this dynamic?

Storytelling by amythedork (T, 5,126 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Past, Friendship, Humour) – Five times John Watson opens up to Sherlock Holmes, and one time Sherlock Holmes opens up to John Watson. Gen, though could easily be read as pre-slash.

The Refining Fire by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 5,451 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Friendship, Alternating POV (Lestrade, Mycroft, Sherlock), Worried Sherlock, Hospital Recovery) – Fire can burn things to ashes, but it can also burn things together.

Sleepless nights by El loopy (T, 5,467 w., 3 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares/Insomnia, Panic Attack, Worried Sherlock) – Sherlock has a nightmare and John wants to know what it was about. Set during season 1. Three-shot.

Stranded by BeautifulFiction (T, 5,798 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Communication / Relationship Discussion, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, BAMF John, Doctor John, Case Fic, Drinking, Huddling For Warmth, Friends to More) –  When stranded on a derelict barge at high tide, John and Sherlock reconsider their friendship.

When We Sleep by PrincessNala (K+, 6,660 w., 1 Ch || Post-TGG,  Alternating POV, Bed Sharing, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Hurt/Comfort, Hugs) – Sherlock needed to feel every beat of his heart, every rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. It was the only way to completely assure himself that John was alive and right there next to him, and not dead, no, never dead…

Hide and Seek by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 6,934 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Rev. Reich-ish, Mycroft is a Dick, Depression, Case Fic-ish, Friendship, Reunion) – Pseudo sequel to “The Refining Fire.” “You owe him the truth, and you owe me the proof that will convince him that I had no part in this.”

Lost for Words by notactivesherlockaccount (T, 6,709 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, John Whump, Temporary Mute John) – While on a case, John temporarily loses his ability to speak, and he and Sherlock have to find a new way to communicate.

BANG by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 7,016 w., 3 Ch. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Worried / Scared Sherlock, Alternating POV, Whump, Hospital Recovery, Open Ending) – 'I should warn you,’ Sherlock says, his voice steady and his eyes fixed on Moriarty. 'You are sadly misinformed.’ And he fires. Prequel to M Is For Moriarty

On Favors and Keeping Score by Ewebie (G, 7,622 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Sick Fic, Fluff, John Whump) – John woke up to the horribly unpleasant sound of his clock alarm. Which meant he’d slept through his phone’s alarm. And for a moment he glared blearily at the noisemaker before smacking at it with his palm. Ugh, he felt like rubbish. The back of his throat was burning with the irritation that heralded a proper dose, his nose was threatening to drip every few seconds, and he had the uncomfortable flush that normally suggested a fever. Nothing high, just uncomfortable. Nothing deadly, just irritating. Nothing worth calling in sick with, just a full day of discomfort in the face of other people’s discomfort. It was going to be a day where he was forced to bite his tongue from telling people off. “You’re not as sick as I am, so off you pop.” Part 7 of Tumblr Shorts

The Hours Before Midnight by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 7,773 w., 1 Ch. || TGG Fic, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Torture / John Whump, Kidnapping, Drugging, Alternating POV, Worried / Protective Sherlock) – Moriarty doesn’t play fair. John must deal with hours of torment from Moriarty before going to meet Sherlock at the Pool at the end of the Great Game and Sherlock must deal with the consequences of his boredom.

What Did I Do Wrong? by Starlight05 (T, 7,880 w., 5 Ch. || Hurt Comfort, Angst, John Whump, Hospitalization, Worried Sherlock, Emotional Turmoil, Nightmares, Sherlock Being Dumb) - After John almost dies on a case, Sherlock disappears. So John is left to figure out what he can do to get his best friend back. Meanwhile Sherlock, guilt-ridden and willingly alone, is doing everything he can to stay away.

Victim, Bait, Hero, Friend by KimberlyTheOwl (T, 7,887 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG Epilogue, Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Past Kidnapping / Torture / Implied Rape, Panic Attacks, Worried / Possessive Sherlock, Lestrade is a Good Friend) – Some insights into why John was perfectly willing to throw everything away for a chance to kill Moriarty at the pool. Trauma, ugliness, and finally healing. Some nice supporting work by Lestrade as well.

A Friend Indeed by Sanru (K+, 8,190 w., 1 Ch. || Missing John, Friendship, Drama, Introspection, Possessive Sherlock, Worried Sherlock) – Something has gone terribly wrong with a supposedly simple case. John Watson is missing. While the search for him is proving to be fruitless, it has made Sherlock realize that having an emotional attachment to someone may have its disadvantages but he liked being able to call John his friend. Now if only he could find out what happened to him…

Until I See the Sun by Vintage Tea Party (T, 8,194 w., 3 Ch. || Nightmares, Mild Whump, Friendship, Mild Violence, Angst) – After a particularly dangerous case, John suffers from night terrors. Will Sherlock be able to comfort him? Will he be able to find out what is really troubling John?

Made for You by Raxicoricofallapatorious (K, 8,440 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Sci-Fi, Androids) – When John was shot in the shoulder he was decommissioned and his memory and personality was wiped. Sherlock was given the blank droid and he quickly learns that this droid is more than it seems. John just so happened to come back and no one can fathom how or why. Johnlock if you squint.

Five Times Sherlock Realized He Was Getting Older by Mildred Graves (T, 9,215 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Old) – … And one time it didn’t matter.

You fit me, Sherlock Holmes by orphan_account (G, 10,077 w., 1 Ch. || It’s An Experiment, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Questionable Science) – An unfortunate series of events leads to John accepting being a part of Sherlock’s study in physical intimacy. As the days pass by, John realizes he might be in for more than he bargained for. He doesn’t entirely mind.

A Is For Aftermath by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 10,567 w., 1 Ch.  || Injury / Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Pre-Slash/Bromance/Platonics, Hallucinations, Introspection, Insecure / Worried John, Big Brother Mycroft, Alternating POV, Anxious Sherlock, Self-Deprecating, Mildly Possessive Sherlock, 3G Moment) – John is still hallucinating, Sherlock cannot sleep, and Lestrade has a new case for them. But will life at 221B ever be able to return to normal? Epilogue to M is for Moriarty.

The Dying Doctor by Transcendental Starlight (T, 11,258 w., 3 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Sick John / John Whump, ACD Rewrite) – Loosely based off ACD’s “The Dying Detective.” Sherlock relives a case that should have killed him, but instead resulted in John being hospitalized for a deadly disease. Sherlock endeavors to catch the murderer, while attempting to envision a future without John Watson. No Slash.

Sherlock’s Sleeping Habits by Cumberbatch Critter (T, 11,424 w., 16 Ch. || Friendship, Sleepy Sherlock, One Shot Collection, Fluff, Domestics) – In which John learns about Sherlock’s sleeping habits. Series of unrelated oneshots featuring the one and only ADORABLE Sleepy!Lock! Fluff abounds.

The Hand You’re Dealt by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 12,092 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Light Violence, BAMF John, Doctor John, Injury, Friendship) – Sherlock, John and several others are trapped in a building when an explosion disrupts the crime scene they are working.

A Building of Bridges by Unique (K, 12,325 w., 3 Ch. || Drama, Alternate First Meeting, John’s PTSD / Flashbacks, Mute John, Dialogue-Heavy, Caring Sherlock, Friendship) – No one would ever send Sherlock in to diffuse a stand-off; but on one unlikely day, that’s exactly what happened. “Congratulations, Lestrade,” he called out sarcastically. “You’re traumatizing a war veteran.”

A Different Kind of Love by Svenja The Strange (T, 12,357 w., 6 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Romance, Five and One) –  The five times people noticed and the one time John did. A collection of oneshots (some short, some longer) raising the issue of Johns endless dilemma of being deemed for Sherlock’s boyfriend.

Always the sun by Rose de Sharon (K+, 12,377 w., 3 Ch. || Song Fic, Alternate Post-TGG, Friendship/Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection / Reflection, Injury Recovery, Obsessive / Protective Sherlock, Nightmares, John’s Past, Bed Sharing / Cuddles) – Sherlock ponders about how much his life has changed since John has become his flatmate.

A Study in Linguistics by rizandace (T, 12,425 w., 1 Ch. || S1 Canon Compliant/S2 Divergence, Friendship, Slices of Life, Communication, Cranky Sherlock, Hospitals, Sherlock Whump, Pet Cat, Jealous John, Sherlock’s Violin, Anxious Sherlock, John Whump) – Sherlock Holmes and John Watson had their own language. It was a language of few words and minute facial expressions, and John had learned that it was nearly the only way to have an honest conversation with his eccentric flat mate.

Red-Handed by englishtutor (K, 12,682 w., 6 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, John is Stabbed, Panicking / Worried Sherlock, Alternating POV’s) – In which an accident occurs which might change everyone’s life; or it might solidify already blossoming relationships. A re-working of my original story, taking place four days after “Dancing Around the Subject,” when John and Mary get engaged.

Shuteye Shenanigans by Ayakae (K+, 13,263 w., 8 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship / Epic Bromance, John’s Nightmares, Angsty Fluff, Bed Sharing, Humour, Cuddles, Taking Care of Each Other, Domestics) – John Watson has never slept with Sherlock Holmes. Never ever ever. And never will, thank you very much. Well, there was that one time, but John didn’t count that. It was completely different, just like the second time it happened. And the third. And the fourth. Epic bromance, but it can be read as pre-slash if you wish.

Understanding by rizandace (T, 13,268 w., 15 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Worried Sherlock, John Whump Then Sherlock Whump) – Sherlock’s hiding something about his newest case, and John wants answers. Set post-TGG. Friendship fic, mostly, with brief entrances from Harry and Lestrade just for fun.

First Response by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 13,516 w., 8 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Five and Ones, Whump / Injury) – Five times John had to perform first aid on Sherlock and one time Sherlock had to perform it on John.

[maybeimamuppet]

the game is afoot

WHATS POPPING MY LITTLE MUPPETS WERE BACK YEEHA

ok serious time. there's been a murder! if you'd like to solve it you can, you'll have all the clues you need (and a few you don't!) let me know if you got it right in the replies!! if you don't want to solve along, just read like normal and enjoy a cute little victorian gay fit with a dash of murder.

also, I DID NOT COME UP WITH THIS CASE AND I OWN NO PART OF IT. I'm a whole idiot and not clever enough to come up with a sherlock level case on my own. so, people who made sherlock holmes: crimes and punishments, please do not sue me. i am a broke college dropout with no money. also, if you know the case, please don't spoil it for anyone else!

tw for murder and associated things (blood, mild gore, etc), internalized period typical homophobia, and drug mentions. if i missed any, please let me know!

otherwise, welcome back!!

---------

“Hullo!” Cady chirps as she enters the door to 221B Baker Street, not noticing the state her dear companion is in on the sofa. She looks up after hanging her coat on the rack to find her pale and perspiring, and hears a weak groan. “Good heavens, Janis!” Cady drops her things and runs over to her partner’s side. “Whatever happened to you?”

“I feel… deathly,” Janis groans.

“And you look it,” Cady tuts, checking her dilated pupils and feeling her temperature. “Don’t tell me you’ve returned to your old habits.” Janis allows Cady to check her pulse. It’s weak, far slower than it should be. “Your pulse is weak and dropping, we-we need to get you to the hospital straight away. You are dying.”

“The antidote,” Janis moans, pointing weakly to the table nearby. “Give it to me.”

“Antidote?” Cady asks. “You mean that you have been poisoned?! Don’t tell me you did this to yourself. Here, drink it all.”

“I was compelled to.” Janis takes the small bottle and downs the whole thing in one go. Just then, Mrs. Norbury comes into the room to announce the arrival of Inspector Hubbard.

“Oh, Ms. Sarkisian is unable to see anyone at the moment, she is unwell,” Cady says apologetically.

Janis suddenly pops upright behind her, seeming in perfect health. “Ah, Inspector. What is it this time?”

“A case for you, Ms. Sarkisian,” Damian says. “We’ve brought in two young bankers from the city. Sons of lords, members of the chamber, et cetera. They were found stranded in a rowing boat drifting down the Thames.”

“A romantic escapade gone awry,” Janis says boredly, turning around to examine her nails.

“What? Well-it’s true they were both in the buff, but…” Damian stutters. Janis simply raises an eyebrow at him and gestures between the both of them. He chuckles and nods. “I have another that might be more to your liking. Sir Rodney Bentcliffe has been murdered at the Roman Baths. And there’s no sign of a weapon.”

Janis turns to him again, eyes wide with delight. “I shall meet you there shortly. Are you coming, Heron?”

“I feel I must,” Cady tuts. “But I’ll have you know I’m against you going out, as your doctor and your friend.”

Janis boldly cups her face and kisses her forehead, making Cady blush. “I am fine, Cady. Now come on, grab your hat!”

—————

Cady looks around in apparent awe at the room they find themselves in. Janis does have to admit it is beautifully extravagant, decorated with large marble statues and a rather tasteful fountain in the center. “My, how beautiful!”

“With a dreadful murder,” Inspector Hubbard pipes up, casually approaching them. “The body is still in the steam room. We haven’t touched a thing, per your usual instructions.”

“Excellent,” Janis says. There’s a gleam in her eye as she continues, “Then let us begin. Were you able to identify the men who were with him?”

“Ah, yes! Sir Gregory Pitkin, the manager of the baths; Garrow, a lad from the city council; and Blinkhorn, an archaeologist,” Damian informs her. “I am of the opinion that it’s Garrow. He doesn’t seem right in the head.”

“We shall see,” Janis hums. “You found no murder weapon?”

“No, that’s why you were sent for. The victim and all three witnesses were locked in at the time of the murder, and remained so until we arrived. We had to pick the lock to enter!”

“Was anyone else here?”

“Yes, a Mr. Phillips, at the desk there. He called the police, and will be able to give you more details.”

“My thanks, Mr. Hubbard,” Janis says jokingly. Damian tips his hat in response.

“Anytime.”

Janis makes her way over to the desk then, and Cady follows once she realizes her companion is no longer by her side.

“Good day to you, my name is Janis Sarkisian and this is my friend and colleague Doctor Heron. Would you be so kind as to answer our questions?” Janis says with what Cady knows to be faux-politeness. At least people seem to buy it.

“Ah, certainly ma’am,” the man says, a hint of anxiety in his tone. Cady watches in slight awe as Janis’ eyes track up and down the man before them and she seems to learn several key details about him in just a few seconds. It never gets old, watching her friend at work.

“Please tell us the chain of events from the start of your day,” Janis asks to start with once her observation is complete. “Anything you remember. The slightest detail may be of utmost importance.”

“Very well, miss. I came in this morning at six-thirty to prepare the baths,” Phillips says. “I did my usual tasks, preparing towels and cleaning. The brazier was still burning.”

“Pardon? There was a fire burning all night?” Cady asks in slight worry.

“Yes, Sir Gregory ordered me to light the brazier yesterday,” Phillips explains. “It takes some time until the room is fully heated.”

“Ah,” Cady says with a nod, gesturing for him to continue.

“The gentlemen had a meeting at nine o’ clock this morning. I wanted it to be perfect,” Phillips says. “They had been in the steam room for… twenty minutes, when I suddenly heard shouting. I ran to the door, but it was locked. I couldn’t open it. So I ran to the street to call for the police. One constable came, then others, and they picked the lock. Then the Inspector came and informed us nothing should be touched.”

“And did you receive any other visitors this morning?” Janis asks, bouncing once on the balls of her feet as she scans the room.

“Nobody, until these men arrived. Sir Gregory was the first,” the man says. “Then while we were discussing work details, Sir Rodney and Mr. Blinkhorn arrived together. Mr. Garrow followed.”

“And then?”

“I waited until they had all entered the steam room, then I returned to the hall. The changing room door was open, so I should hear if they needed anything.”

“You would have heard if someone had entered or left the steam room?” Janis asks.

“Certainly, ma’am. The doors make a lot of noise,” Phillips says. One of the witnesses must be the murderer, then.

“Thank you, my good man,” Janis says, leading Cady off toward the steam room.

The changing room precedes it, a large rectangular room with marble benches and shelves to hold personal items. Three sets of neatly folded clothing sit on the benches. Janis scans them quickly and apparently doesn’t notice anything of interest, apart from the fact that one set seems rather more expensive than the others.

What does catch her eye is a bottle of champagne, unopened and in a bucket of ice to keep chilled. Clearly intended to be enjoyed after the session in the baths.

They enter the actual sauna room then. A constable guards the only door, and three men stand clad only in white towels at the other end near the brazier. Janis looks delighted as she heads to inspect the body first. Cady follows quickly.

“Good lord,” Cady breathes. “How dreadful.”

Sir Rodney lies sprawled against the marble bench, arms spread as he sits in a remarkably large pool of his own blood. Cady quickly learns the source, his left eye. Thin but bright red blood tracks down his face and to the floor around him.

“Yes, a death with a particularly… Roman flair,” Janis hums interestedly.

“Like the one you almost had an hour ago?”

“Come now, let us forget about that,” Janis says.

Cady watches as her companion crouches down to examine everything she can.

“The wound should not have bled so profusely,” Janis hums to herself, dashing around on her knees so as not to leave footprints and taint the scene. Cady observes as she inspects his nails and takes an earth sample from beneath them, and looks at the ring marks on his finger.

“Death would’ve been an hour ago at most,” Cady says when she’s allowed to inspect the corpse herself, judging by the temperature of the extremities and degree of rigor mortis. “And would’ve been instantaneous. A vile act of savagery.”

“Delightful,” Janis says, sounding genuinely excited. “Wait, don’t move!”

Cady freezes as Janis calls to her loudly, and watches as she bends to remove a small gold key from the pool of blood next to the corpse. Cady stands from the body once it’s been retrieved and turns to her colleague.

“We don’t have many leads here,” Cady says.

“What concerns me is that we have yet to find the murder weapon,” Janis murmurs, clicking her tongue against her teeth. “For now, we shan’t worry. Constable!”

“Yes, Ms. Sarkisian?” The constable guarding the door asks.

“Please have the body removed without disturbing anything else in the room,” Janis asks politely. A few more constables enter and gently remove the body, leaving only the pool of blood behind as evidence of a crime. Janis takes a small sample to be studied for more clues, then stands to begin assessing the rest of the room.

“Sarkisian,” Cady murmurs quietly, pointing to the man standing closest to the brazier. There’s a large, bloody handprint on his towel. He clearly discovered the body, but did he put it there?

“Hm,” Janis hums disinterestedly, turning a switch on the wall. Steam suddenly floods the room, making it difficult to see more than a foot or so away. Janis quickly flips it back off and waits for the steam to clear. “Interesting.”

She heads to the brazier then, assessing the embers as close as she can. A pair of spectacles rests on the edge, one lens cracked from the heat. Cady can tell from the thick glass that they are for myopia, otherwise known as the wearer being nearsighted.

Janis attempts to get closer, but the heat is too much. Some melted metal rests in the center. “Heron, please remind me to find a tool to remove this metal so that I may study it.”

“Yes, Sarkisian,” Cady says quietly, marking it down in her notebook. She wishes she could do as Janis does and store all the important information in her mind. But her notebook has come in handy more than once.

Cady dashes after Janis as she exits the steam room and is quickly approached by Inspector Hubbard, who asks if she has any objections to having the suspects taken to Scotland Yard. Janis says she has none, and the Inspector moves to he steam room to gather the men.

Janis heads to speak to Mr. Phillips once more to inquire about the key she found. “Mr. Phillips, how many people have keys to the steam room?”

“We have just the one, for now,” the man replies, standing from his desk to speak with them once again. “Sir Gregory gave it to me.”

“So, you opened the steam room this morning,” Janis says rather abruptly. “What happened afterwards?”

“I put the key in my desk, but when they called it had disappeared,” Phillips says, looking to his feet. “I-I don’t know where it is.”

“Did you leave at any point, or receive any visitors?” Janis continues.

“No, miss, I did not,” Phillips says. Even Cady can tell he’s lying.

Janis points to a bit of paper sticking out of his pocket. Cady notices it to be a sent telegram upon looking closer. “You are not telling the truth. You did leave your work this morning. You went to the post office to dispatch a telegram at around seven-thirty.”

“But-how could you-“ Phillips stutters. Janis smirks slightly.

“The telegram was for someone in Manchester.”

“But it’s imposs-“ Phillips stumbles again. Janis just raises an eyebrow, and he crumbles. “I shall tell you everything. My sister wrote to me yesterday, and she needed a reply. Our mother is unwell. I left the baths at around seven-twenty to tell her to pawn my old school uniform to pay for the medication. I was away for twenty minutes, and I closed the baths on my way out.”

“Did you check to see if the key was still in your desk when you returned?” Janis asks.

“N-no, ma’am,” the man stutters. “Please, don’t tell anyone about this. Sir Gregory would sack me. I need this job.”

“I see,” Janis says, slightly coldly. “Do you happen to know who left the bottle of champagne on ice in the changing room?”

“Champagne? No,” Phillips responds, seeming to come back to himself slightly. “Do you think that it’s important?”

“We shall see,” Janis hums. “Good day to you.”

Janis then heads to a door opposite the entrance to the steam room, marked ‘frigidarium’. The cold room. Just inside the door to the right is a shoddy door, with a plaque labeled ‘Sir Rodney Bentcliffe’ just outside.

“This must be his workshop,” Janis hums, pushing the door open and stepping inside. It seems rather hastily put together, temporary tables set up to hold small archaeological finds, and shelves with larger items line the far wall.

“Sarkisian, I would like to examine the blood again, if I may,” Cady asks. Janis waves her off as she takes a pair of tongs from a table and leafs through a few documents on the desk.

Janis examines a large, curved metal plate, with a carving of a bridge etched into it. A short document rests on top explaining that it is believed to be part of a larger, unknown structure. Janis leaves it for now and heads further down the corridor to the frigidarium. She’s halted in her tracks by a thunderous rumbling. She blinks and is suddenly on her behind, a large wall of rocks and debris blocking her path down. She shakes herself off and coughs a bit.

“Janis! Are you alright?!” Cady yells, barreling down towards her. She skids to a halt when she sees Janis perfectly fine, if a little dusty, sitting before her. “Oh, thank heavens!”

Janis begrudgingly allows Cady to assess her for injuries, and her eyes fly open when Cady suddenly rests a gentle hand on her cheek and locks their lips together. This is new.

Unfortunately it doesn’t last, as Cady seems to realize what she’s done and pulls back with a gasp, scrambling away and pressing her back against the far wall. “I-I-I-“

“It’s quite alright,” Janis says soothingly. She gently pulls herself back to her feet and takes a small step forward, but Cady shakes her head frantically and stops her in her tracks. “Heron, really. It’s absolutely fine.”

“I-I’ll see you back at Baker Street,” Cady says hastily. Before Janis can say anything she’s running back down the corridor and outside, coattails trailing behind her.

“What happened with her?” Damian asks. Janis just shakes her head and dusts off her coat. “Are you alright?”

“Bit dusty,” Janis tuts. “Is there another way ‘round this?”

“Not that we’ve found,” Inspector Hubbard says. “If it becomes necessary we can remove the debris for you. I’m off to the Yard, would you care to accompany me?”

“Not just yet, I’ll likely be there tomorrow afternoon,” Janis replies, following him to the exit.

“Very well. Good day to you, Sarkisian.”

“Same to you, my good man,” Janis chuckles. She grabs the metal from the brazier in the steam room with the tongs and follows him out the doors once it’s cool enough to handle.

-

Janis hops out of the cab when it arrives at Baker Street, quickly paying and pacing off to the flat. Her hand is on the doorknob before she freezes and turns around to cross the street.

“Wiggins,” she calls when she notices it’s him. A watch for her secret police division is always there, but Wiggins is her personal favorite.

“‘Ello Ms. Sarkisian,” Wiggins calls back, resting down a toy cart he seems to be repairing. “What can I do for ya?”

“There’ll be two guineas in it for you if someone can track down Heron,” Janis says. “Don’t let her see you, just make sure she’s alright and let me know where she is.”

“Easy! I won’t let you down, miss,” Wiggins says, saluting before dashing off down the road. Janis grins affectionately and heads back upstairs.

——

Janis is too busy worrying for her companion to get any real work done, so she decides to reorganize her mind palace for a while. Cady’s wing could use some decorating.

After a few hours, a great cacophony of noise suddenly echoes downstairs, followed by the calls of Mrs. Norbury. Whoever it is wipes their shoes on the mat briefly before heading upstairs. She can tell by the polite gesture and the energetic step that Wiggins has made a return.

“We found Doctor Heron, miss!” He calls.

“Excellent. How was she?” Janis asks, sitting up before heading over to him.

“She didn’t seem very well, to be truthful, Ms. Sarkisian,” Wiggins says. “She’s in the park. But she ain’t going anywhere, just pacing about and cryin’.”

“Hmm,” Janis hums sadly. “Not much I can do about that, then. Here’s your payment.”

Wiggins skillfully catches the coins she tosses his way. “At your service, miss.”

Janis is deep in thought once more by the time he leaves.

————-

Cady enters the flat several hours later, finding Janis in her usual pose. Flat on her back on the sofa, hands pressed together in the praying position just underneath her nose. Unusually, she pops an eye open and sits upright when she hears Cady enter.

“Hello,” Janis says quietly. Cady can tell she sees right through her put-together facade. Of course. When doesn’t she? “Are you well?”

“Fine,” Cady whispers in agreement. She sheepishly makes her way over and hands Janis a pile of papers. “Here.”

Janis flicks through them. “Our rent agreement?” Cady nods. “Whatever for?”

“So I can move out,” Cady murmurs. “You won’t have to see me again, I’ll-I’ll handle it all.”

Janis snaps her head up to look at her, tossing the papers aside. “Why do you wish to leave?”

“You know what I am, Janis. You know how-how I feel about you,” Cady whimpers. “It’s unnatural. Why would you want to associate with me now?”

Janis gently approaches her dear friend. “You are missing a key element of the narrative, my dear Heron.”

Cady looks both baffled and terrified as Janis gradually gets closer. “And-and what would that be?”

“How I feel for you,” Janis purrs gently, wrapping an arm around Cady’s waist and resting her forehead against the redhead’s. “I admit I’ve grown rather fond of you over the years of our companionship.”

“You have?”

Janis chuckles quietly. “I have indeed. I’ve always thought matters of the heart trivial, a weakness. Waste of valuable brain power. But you’ve managed to work your way in regardless. And I find myself not wishing to attempt to remove you.”

“Oh,” Cady hums, flushing a spectacular shade of pink. “How-how long?”

“I couldn’t say exactly,” Janis says quietly, staring into the brilliant blue of Cady’s eyes. “But a very long time. How long for you?”

Cady grins up at her slightly. “Since the day we met.”

“Really?” Janis laughs. “After all that. I’m surprised.”

——

“Kenya or Tanzania?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Are you from Kenya or Tanzania?” Janis repeats.

“I-Kenya,” Cady stutters. “How did you-“

Janis rolls her eyes haughtily, seemingly having been through similar conversations before. “Your skin bears a lingering tan that implies you grew up near the equator. Your accent is African, and you have a large scar along your collarbone that could only have been created by a creature with large claws, most likely a lion or a tiger. Tigers live mainly around India, not Africa, so it was most probably a lion. The largest lion populations in Africa near the equator are in Kenya and Tanzania.”

“Incredible,” Cady breathes. Janis chuckles under her breath and raises a perfectly arched eyebrow.

“That’s not what people normally say.”

“What do they normally say?” Cady asks curiously.

“Piss off,” Janis laughs.

—-

“You’ve been invaluable to me,” Janis murmurs. “I daren’t imagine life without you.”

“I love you,” Cady whispers back.

“And I love you,” Janis says. “May I-“

“Kiss me,” Cady demands. Janis happily obliges, resting a gently callused hand on her jaw and brushing their lips together. Cady gives a quietly delighted sigh and threads her arms around Janis’ neck, tilting her head for a better angle. Janis marvels in how soft her lips are. Maybe Cady will let her experiment on them.

Cady gasps quietly as Janis sucks her bottom lip between her own and gives a gentle nibble, allowing Janis to deepen their kiss and brush their tongues together. The soft groan Cady allows to escape nearly makes Janis’ knees buckle.

They both look a bit dizzy and disheveled when they have to break apart for breath. Cady gives the widest smile Janis has ever seen, and squeals in surprise when Janis scoops her up in retaliation. She has remarkable upper body strength for her build.

“You have no idea how precious you are to me,” Janis whispers, carrying her over and resting her down on her experiment table so their eye levels are just about even. Cady tries desperately not to think about the jar of-are those eyeballs?!- that Janis brushes away to make room for her. “My conductor of light.”

“Your what?” Cady asks lovingly, stroking a hand through Janis’ hair and gently scratching at the base of her scalp.

“‘It may be that you are not yourself luminous, but that you are a conductor of light,’” Janis recites. “I read that somewhere. Some people without possessing a spectacular amount of genius have a remarkable ability to stimulate it.”

“Cheers,” Cady grumbles.

“Not in a bad way, my darling,” Janis amends. “You give me a… lens, so to speak. To shine my light through, give it a purpose. Conduct it. A light on its own has no point. The sun would be near useless without the atmosphere.”

“Oh.” Cady says. “I suppose that does make me sound useful.”

“You’re more than useful, dearest. You’re invaluable. Irreplaceable.”

“Yours,” Cady concludes for her. “Forever.”

“Does it bother you that the world can never know of us?” Janis asks quietly, nuzzling her nose against Cady’s.

“My world already does,” Cady hums, holding Janis’ face between her hands gently and staring meaningfully into her warm brown eyes. “Nothing matters to me but you.”

“I should hope your patients matter to you,” Janis teases. “Else we may get some strongly worded letters arriving soon.”

“You know what I mean,” Cady says, rolling her eyes. “Would you stay with me tonight?”

“Always,” Janis purrs, lifting her off the table and carrying her to a bedroom. She can’t help but notice that they seem to fit together perfectly when she tips Cady down into the bed and is immediately grabbed and held close. Like a puzzle.

—-

Janis yawns and stretches when she wakes the next morning, rather shocked to find that she apparently slept for at least a few hours. She can’t remember the last time she actually drifted off so easily.

She’s sprawled on her back, with Cady pressed against her side and her face tucked into Janis’ neck. Cady snuffles discontentedly when Janis gently kisses her forehead and removes herself, tucking her in a little tighter with the warm wool blankets.

-

Cady comes padding out of the room a full half-hour after Janis finishes her small breakfast, still in her nightgown. Janis grins slightly when she sees that she’s decided to add Janis’ robe and slippers to her little morning ensemble.

“Good morning,” Janis hums when Cady presses herself to her back as Janis looks out the window over Baker Street. “You look cozy.”

Cady just gives a quiet hum, not up to speaking quite so soon after waking up. Janis turns around to hold her, and Cady sighs contently as she’s held against her love. Janis rests her chin on top of Cady’s still unbrushed hair and closes her eyes.

“Did last night truly happen?” Cady whispers, muffled by Janis’ warm skin.

“I believe so,” Janis whispers back.

“Prove to me I didn’t dream it,” Cady begs quietly. “Please.”

“Shh,” Janis calms before cupping her face and kissing her sweetly. She feels Cady’s relieved sigh puff gently against her cheek. “Good morning, darling.”

“Good morning, my love,” Cady beams back.

“Mrs. Norbury made your breakfast,” Janis murmurs after a long moment. “Should still be warm.”

“Have you eaten?” Cady asks knowingly, pulling back to look into Janis’ eyes.

“Yes,” Janis chuckles. “Not enough for your tastes, I know, but I have eaten.”

“Good,” Cady chirps. “I’ll get some calories in you yet. Where are you off to today?”

“Nowhere for the morning, I have some experiments to conduct here,” Janis replies.

“Anything I can assist with?” Cady asks politely.

“It’s nothing particularly interesting, just a few analyses on some evidence,” Janis replies. “I’ll be off to interrogate the suspects this afternoon, however, you can accompany me then if you wish to.”

Cady nods, allowing Janis to start her work. She begins with the sample of earth taken from beneath one of Sir Rodney’s fingernails. She finds it to contain pyrite, selenite, and white clay particles. Based on the composition, Janis deduces it is white clay, which is found only around the city of St. Albans.

Now to the blood sample. Under the microscope, Janis is able to observe that it’s still very liquid, and has not coagulated well. She drops a few drops of hydrogen peroxide onto the sample, which allows her to see that the blood has been heavily diluted with water.

All that’s left is the metal she discovered in the brazier. Janis believes it to be silver. A simple test is all that’s needed. Cady naively provides her with a silver penny. Janis drops a small amount of acid onto both the coin and the metal sample, and observes the same reaction on both. The result is the same red stain. The metal is, indeed, silver.

—————

Janis heads to the evidence room immediately upon arriving at Scotland Yard. Four evidence drawers await her on the table. Three suspects, one victim.

She begins with the victim’s belongings. Janis finds and sneakily pockets a hand drawn map, and closely observes an ancient coin, and a gold ring etched with an Egyptian symbol, which has been repaired by an amateur with silver. All that’s left is a small notebook.

“Heron, my dear, please fetch me a pencil and prevent anyone from entering the room,” Janis says, upon observing the last pages to have been torn out.

“Er… okay,” Cady says, handing over her own pencil and turning to guard the door. Janis sneakily removes Cady’s handkerchief from her pocket as well.

Just as Janis has finished carefully rubbing the pencil over the pages and smudging them with the handkerchief, a constable enters past Cady to inform them that the autopsy has been completed.

“Ms. Sarkisian, the body has been- but, tampering with the evidence!” He says in shock.

“‘Today, I almost found it. This date will go down in history,’” Janis reads from the book. “Sir Rodney was on the brink of an incredible discovery. Simple tricks, nothing terrific. I could only save the final words, however. The rest is lost.”

“Perhaps the autopsy can give us more information,” Cady says, skimming through the coroner’s report.

“I am not sure that I can allow you to inspect the body now,” the constable says anxiously.

“And I am sure that you must,” Janis hums disinterestedly, moving to the next drawer of effects. Cady waves him along and joins her partner at the table. The next drawer is Percival Blinkhorn’s, and contains nothing but a pencil and a letter from Sir Pitkin urging him to hurry his archaeological work. Rather threatening.

Garrow’s belongings are next, and contain only the bloody towel from the steam room and a small bottle of herbs. “Do you know what this is, my darling?”

“It looks to be St. John’s wort flower,” Cady says, flushing slightly at the pet name. “We use it commonly as a treatment for melancholia, but an incorrect dosage could cause a rash, or even hallucinations if especially poorly used.”

“Hm,” Janis hums, pocketing the phial as well. The last drawer is Sir Gregory Pitkin’s, and is apparently of the least importance to her. An embroidered handkerchief, a very expensive fountain pen with solid gold trim, and a business card.

Cady follows Janis down to the morgue then, to inspect the body in more detail. Janis carefully peels back the sheet to the dead man’s waist, and looks to Cady for details.

“Er…” Cady stutters, flipping quickly to the correct page. “Ah. No issues with the heart or lungs except traces of fungus, most likely contracted during his work in Egyptian tombs. No stomach or liver disease, if we are to accept that he was sixty three years of age and an occasional drinker.”

Janis carefully flips the body over, and observes bruising in lines around his shoulders and waist, caused by a rope. “He was descending.”

“Where?”

“That remains to be seen,” Janis says, turning him back over and observing his face.

“A strange wound, resulting in instantaneous death,” Cady explains. “Inflicted by a curved knife.”

“Curved,” Janis murmurs under her breath. “Well, my dear, I think we’ve seen all we can, do you wish to interrogate the suspects with me?”

Cady carefully washes her hands in the sink next to Janis. “Are they particularly dangerous, would you say?”

“I would think not,” Janis replies. “But then again, one can never know.”

“I suppose,” Cady says nervously, following her back up the stairs. “But be careful.”

“I always am,” Janis replies, taking her hand to help her back into the corridor. The constable unlocks the metal door for them and escorts the first suspect to the interrogation room. Janis heads over to the small wooden table in the middle and sits across from Sir Gregory Pitkin. Cady leans against the cold stone wall and attempts to look tough.

“Good day to you, Sir Gregory, I am Janis Sarkisian. I am aiding the police with the investigation of the murder that took place yesterday morning. Would you be willing to answer a few questions?”

Even Cady can tell that Sir Gregory is on edge, looking at them with a haughty air of disdain. He slams a hand on the table and demands, “Tell me, Ms. Sarkisian, will I have to stay here much longer?”

Janis decidedly ignores him and rests her hands on the table. “You are the manager of the baths, yes?”

“Yes. I wanted to restore the ruins. My goal is to open the baths to the public,” Pitkin says, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back casually in the rickety wooden chair. “Living archaeology can be very profitable. Although now, I am not so sure.”

“I see,” Janis hums interestedly. “And when did you wish to begin your restoration?”

“When the archaeological researches are over, I am free to begin, it is the usual process,” Pitkin says loudly and haughtily, looking at Janis like she’s the scum of the earth. Janis simply raises an eyebrow before continuing.

“And what was the state of your relationship with Sir Rodney?”

“I’ll say we were not particularly close. He had an unpleasant temperament. Suspicious, authoritarian, unkind.” Pitkin spits. Cady thinks it sounds rather more like he’s describing himself.

“Was he obstructive in any way?” Janis asks. Pitkin seems to deflate slightly.

“Not in the slightest,” he admits. “Everything he did led us to greater success.”

Janis tuts slightly to herself before moving the discussion along. “Had Sir Rodney shown any odd behavior recently?”

“Now, see, I’m not a particularly suspicious sort,” Pitkin says. “But I think that he had professional interests elsewhere that he did not wish for us to know.”

“Why should you think that? Where?” Janis asks interestedly. Maybe they’re finally getting somewhere.

“I have no idea,” Pitkin replies with a shrug. Janis huffs slightly. “It’s not my business, after all.”

“How was work at the baths progressing before the arrival of Sir Rodney?” Janis asks, closing another lead in her mind.

“Rather slowly, I would say,” Pitkin replies airily. Janis pulls out a copy of the letter she had found with Blinkhorn’s personal effects.

“Then would you explain this letter? You expressed a desire to call off the work being done,” Janis says coyly.

“It’s all that damned Blinkhorn,” Pitkin spits. “Digging away merrily with little care and finding nothing of any value.”

“But Sir Rodney’s arrival changed your mind?”

“His work was extremely promising, and good for publicity,” the man explains. “So yes, I changed my mind.”

“Hm,” Janis hums kindly. “Would you please explain to me the events of yesterday morning?”

“It was a test, that morning, and a success,” Pitkin replies. “The steam was working well. But then, of course, that terrible murder.”

“And what did you witness?”

“The steam was too thick to see anything,” Pitkin says. “Ask that Garrow, he found the body first.”

“Ah, Garrow. Are you aware that Mr. Garrow is under a form of medication?” Janis asks.

“No,” Pitkin replies. “But I never liked that parasite.”

“Do you believe him to be capable of murder?”

“He did have blood on him,” Pitkin says. “Does that make him a murderer?”

“I shall ask the questions here. Do you know where the silver in the steam room brazier came from?” Janis huffs.

“Silver? No,” the man says with a hint of confusion.

“Did you bring champagne to the baths with you?”

“Absolutely not. Sir Rodney did, I think,” Pitkin replies.

“That’s all I have for you for now, good day to you,” Janis says politely, asking the constable to exchange him for the next suspect.

“Well, he was a pompous arse,” Cady huffs from her spot. Janis laughs and stands from her chair to stretch her legs.

“Agreed,” Janis chuckles. “I cannot say I haven’t been worse, but he is definitely one of the more… unique specimens I’ve interrogated. What are you thinking?”

“I think it’s either him or Garrow,” Cady replies. “Pitkin seems to me to be hiding something, and if the medication is anything to go by Garrow is clearly under some sort of duress.”

“Hm,” Janis hums. “Time will tell.”

The next man is brought in then. Janis waits for him to be seated and cuffed to the table, and apparently decides to remain standing for this one. Cady returns to her position and watches Janis assess the new suspect. His eyes are clear and focused, attentive. And Cady can tell from his clothes that he is most definitely not a man of wealth.

Janis gives her usual introductions, and learns that this man is Percival Blinkhorn.

“What is your occupation, Mr. Blinkhorn?” Janis asks almost kindly, as if they’re acquaintances simply getting to know one another.

“I am an archaeologist, I specialize in the Roman period,” Blinkhorn responds eagerly. His voice is clear, and remarkably soothing.

“Hmm,” Janis hums, sounding interested. “Can you tell me more about the baths?”

“Well, we were hoping to retrieve a great many interesting artifacts from the site, and to list any items of value before their eventual restoration and exhibition.”

“And has it proven successful?” Janis asks.

“It has, thanks to Sir Rodney,” Blinkhorn says. Cady detects a hint of melancholy in his tone.

“And what was your relationship like with him?” Janis asks.

“I couldn’t say that he was a kind man,” Blinkhorn replies. “But he was a talented archaeologist. I felt a great admiration for him.”

“Was this your first collaboration with him?”

“No, I had met Sir Rodney in Egypt, briefly,” the man says. “I shared my researches with him. Surprisingly, they convinced him to come here. He arrived only a couple of months ago.”

“Surprisingly?” Janis asks, leaning casually against the table.

“Well, Sir Rodney is-was, oh god- a cold man, and very secretive,” Blinkhorn says, looking at his lap. “But I learned a great deal from him in a short time. I cannot believe that he is dead…”

“Could you tell me what you saw yesterday?”

“We all entered the steam room and went to sit down,” the man replies. “The steam was particularly dense, and I couldn’t see anything much further after that. I just heard Garrow shouting. We all ran for the door and bumped into one another. I was very alarmed by this point.”

“What did you do?”

“Well, the door was stuck, and with all the steam it was quite frightening. I was barely able to see my own feet,” Blinkhorn says anxiously. “Garrow was covered in blood.”

“Do you believe that he killed Sir Rodney?” Janis asks. She does have to admit that much evidence seems to point his way.

“Oh, no,” Blinkhorn says quickly. “Garrow could not harm a fly.”

“Hm,” Janis replies. That certainly throws a small wrench in things. “Can you recall any recent behavior from Sir Rodney that would now strike you as strange?”

“Well, we had a small argument yesterday,” Blinkhorn admits.

“Is that all?” Janis asks, leaning closer to his face. It’s almost intimidating to Cady. And she’s not even nearby.

“No,” Blinkhorn says sheepishly. “Sir Rodney informed me that he was to attend the London Archaeological Congress with me. Then he rather aggressively advised me of the opposite.”

Janis nods slightly. “And how well were your researches progressing before the arrival of Sir Rodney?”

“Quite well, I would say,” Blinkhorn replies.

“Really?” Janis asks, raising an eyebrow as she catches the man in a lie. “This letter reveals that Sir Gregory was prepared to put a stop to your work at the baths.”

“Er… yes,” Blinkhorn stumbles, realizing Janis has him. “But since the arrival of Sir Rodney he had calmed down, allowed us to work. I’m not sure what they agreed on.”

“Hmm,” Janis replies casually, sitting on the corner of the table. “And what will happen now that he is dead?”

“Oh… I haven’t thought about that,” Blinkhorn replies quietly. He suddenly perks up a bit and continues, “But if it is needed I will fight to defend Sir Rodney’s expectations.”

“How admirable,” Janis replies boredly. “We discovered some melted silver in the brazier, can you explain its presence?”

“No, silver, you say?” Blinkhorn says curiously. “No, I don’t know how it got there.”

Janis nods, appearing to file the information away. She reaches into her coat pocket and pulls out Sir Rodney’s ring. “Do you recognize this?”

“Why, certainly. It is the famous Assouan ring,” Blinkhorn says, seeming a bit more chipper. “Sir Rodney brought it back from his last campaign in Egypt.”

“He kept it for himself?” Janis asks. From what she’s heard so far, Sir Rodney does seem the type.

“Sir Rodney has-had- his own… particular ideals of archaeology,” Blinkhorn explains.

“Mm,” Janis hums. She folds her hands behind herself and walks to the other side of the table. “What can you tell me about Garrow?”

“He always looks so sad,” Blinkhorn says. “And… he has been acting strangely, lately. He complains of visions and voices. I will keep an eye on him, I am worried.”

“Hm. And did you place the bottle of champagne in the changing room?”

“No, I did not.”

“I thank you, my good man,” Janis says, rubbing her temples as Blinkhorn is exchanged for Garrow, the final suspect. It’s quickly obvious to both Janis and Cady that Garrow is not well.

He takes his seat in the rickety wooden chair and folds his hands beneath the table, wringing his fingers. His eyes dart around the room nervously and he’s rocking himself back and forth slightly. He doesn’t seem to notice Janis speaking as she introduces herself and asks him to answer their questions.

“Ah, uh… um-“ he stutters when he finally looks up. His eyes are sunken slightly, and he’s covered in sweat. “Good day. I-I am Tristram Garrow.”

Janis nods almost comfortingly. “And what is your occupation, Mr. Garrow?”

“I-I-I am a councilor at the district chamber,” Garrow replies, still rocking slightly.

“Then what were you doing at the baths?”

“Well… I-I follow the researches,” Garrow says. “I’m… interested in-in archaeology.”

“You ‘follow’ them?” Janis asks.

“Yes. So many things happened, and-and we need to know,” Garrow replies. “Or-or perhaps it’s better hidden.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Nothing, I-I meant nothing by that, I apologize.”

Janis hums under her breath before continuing the interrogation. “What was your experience working with Sir Rodney?”

“Oh, it was like-like working with a genius,” Garrow replies. “He was… a hard man, but then, this is a hard world. Always people who want to steal from you. And-and he trusted me… but-oh-“

“Are you feeling quite well?” Janis asks in concern as the man before her suddenly beings rocking much more violently and his volume escalates.

“I’m sorry-his eye,” Garrow says frantically. “I remember-“

“Do you need anything?” Janis asks, already preparing to reach for the phial of his medication in her pocket. She wants to get as much out of him as she can before giving it to him, but she will if it becomes necessary.

“I-I feel bad, I can hear-“ Garrow says, looking around him to either side, appearing to see something that Cady and Janis can’t. “No-no. Nothing, I feel better now. My apologies.”

Janis gives him another moment to gather himself before she continues. “Please tell me what you can recall seeing yesterday.”

“The-the room was so hot, I had to remove my glasses,” the man begins much more quietly. So the myopic spectacles are his. “I was not feeling very well in there.”

“And you found the body?”

“I saw the-the knife, you know,” Garrow says, growing frantic again. “Flying through the air! And the blood, I tried to-to-to escape, I don’t-don’t remember-“

“You saw the knife? Are you able to describe it?”

“It was as if-if in a nightmare,” Garrow shudders, hunching in on himself. “E-everything happened so fast. It-it was shining like-like gold.”

“Gold? Hm,” Janis says under her breath before she moves on. “Had you noticed any strange behavior from Sir Rodney, as of recent?”

Garrow seems to think for a moment before he gives a weak nod. “He-he had been rather secretive these past few days.”

“Can you provide me any examples?”

“Last Thursday,” Garrow says. “I saw him leave. It-it was very late when he re-returned. He showed me some-some wet coins, Roman coins, and… he started to laugh.”

Janis pulls the coin she found out of her pocket. “Something like this?”

“Oh, yes,” the man nods. “This is the coin he showed to me. It-it is from the third century!”

“It must be very rare.”

“N-no, I don’t know.”

Janis pockets the coin again before pulling out Sir Rodney’s ring. Before she can even fully remove it, Garrow recoils and starts rocking heavily again.

“His ring! It should be destroyed!”

“Why do you say that?” Janis asks calmly, removing it from sight in an attempt to alleviate some distress.

“It-it is a cursed ring,” Garrow says. “And it is after me now! I know it! I shouldn’t have worked on it, it is too late now!”

Janis won’t be able to get any more information from him in this state, and offers Garrow his phial of medication. He visibly relaxes upon the sight of it and reaches for it hesitantly. Janis nods.

“Thank you,” Garrow says as he removes the cork. “This will help me to calm down.”

“Do be careful with the dosage,” Janis says meaningfully. Garrow nods, but Janis leans against the table almost threateningly. “I mean it. Now, do you know anything about the bottle of champagne on ice in the changing room?”

“What? No.” Garrow says confusedly once he’s taken his medicine and had a moment to gather himself once again. Janis nods and clicks her tongue against her teeth slightly.

“What about the silver in the brazier, did you put it there?”

“It didn’t help, the power is too strong,” Garrow replies, seeming to grow anxious again. Janis apparently decides to end with that, and has Garrow escorted back into the cell.

“That last one didn’t seem very well, Janis,” Cady says anxiously. “He seems very disturbed.”

“That, or he is a good actor,” Janis nods, flagging down a cab to take them home.

————-

“Janis?” Cady asks from the sofa that evening. Janis turns from where she’s stoking the fire in the hearth.

“Yes?”

“Why… why did you choose to be with me?” Cady asks quietly. Janis knew she still had something on her mind. “Do I not make things more difficult?”

“Come here,” Janis coaxes, reaching out for her. Cady wraps her arms around Janis’ waist and rests her head on her shoulder. Janis holds her as well, and gently sways them around. “You know me well enough by now to know when I am lying, so I won’t say things won’t be more difficult for us.

“But you must know that you make things much better, my darling. I’m loathe to admit it, but there have been cases I would have been unable to solve without your aid. And you gave me a reason to stop my old habits, who knows where I would be if I had continued? You make me… human. Your love is my most useful detective tool.”

“Oh.” Cady says gently. “You make me better too.”

“I’m not sure I can believe that,” Janis chuckles quietly, but Cady shakes her head.

“You have. I was so uptight when I moved here, you help me slow down, ironically. You help me see things from a new perspective. Stop and appreciate the little details in things I would never have even seen otherwise. And you know how dark my world was when we first met. The things I had been through. But you brightened things up for me. Gave me a reason to stay.”

“I’m glad, then,” Janis murmurs, kissing Cady’s forehead. “Did you know I was never looking for a roommate?”

“You weren’t?” Cady asks, pulling back slightly.

“No,” Janis laughs. “I had told Aaron I found a flat in London, and he asked how I was planning on making rent. I guess he didn’t believe I could, and took it upon himself to find me a flatmate to help. He had tried a few times prior, but I refused every one until he brought you to me. I just got lucky that you could tolerate my presence as well.”

“I do more than tolerate you, my love,” Cady murmurs. “I always have. But I’m glad you took a liking to me, I would never have even gone with him if I knew you never wanted me here.”

“I did, after we first spoke. I knew you had something special to you,” Janis hums. Cady beams and cuddles back into her, following along with Janis’ slow waltz around the living room. After a second, she pipes up again.

“Jay?”

“Hmm?”

“What cases were they? That I helped you solve?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Janis teases. Cady whines in defeat. “Maybe we’ll read through some of your old case write ups and see if you can work out which ones they were.”

“Okay,” Cady whines. Janis kisses her gently to make her smile. Cady grins weakly and kisses her back.

“One moment, my dear,” Janis says, appearing to remember something. Cady pouts again but watches as Janis removes something from her coat pocket and heads to the map of London next to the door. “You’re good at mind game things, come help with this.”

Cady tilts her head in confusion, but comes up behind her. Janis is holding up the map they found among Sir Rodney’s belongings and trying to piece out where it is. “May I?”

Janis nods, so Cady gently plucks it from her fingertips and removes the framed map from the wall to carry both over to the desk. She flicks the small lamp on, which makes the paper easier to see through. She finds the matching section down near the bottom right corner.

“There.”

“Ah,” Janis says eagerly. “You up for a trip?”

“Always,” Cady says with a smile, craning her head back to look at her. Janis kisses her before running off to her room.

“Then pack a bag!”

————-

The next afternoon finds them on the site of an archaeological dig.

“Are you sure this is the right place, madams?” Their cab driver asks in concern. Janis turns around to see where they are, then to Cady, before she gives a nod.

“Certainly seems promising. I’d ask you to wait here, you’ll be paid for your time,” Janis replies as she holds out a hand to help Cady down.

“It’s rather eerie here,” Cady says, refusing to let go of Janis’ hand as they approach the gate. She shudders when a slight breeze blows through.

“We shouldn’t be terribly long,” Janis comforts. “And by the looks of things nobody is here, we’ve done far more dangerous and unsettling things.”

“Yes, that gives me so much more confidence,” Cady grumbles. “Look.”

Janis does, looking to the sign Cady is pointing to. It lists the name of the site, but has been painted over to say it’s been abandoned until further notice.

“Why would Sir Rodney come here, if it’s been abandoned?”

“Let’s find out,” Janis replies boldly, opening the gate and leading Cady in. They head to a cabin near the entrance first.

“They left the door open?” Cady asks in concern.

“They either were in great haste or rather careless,” Janis tuts, heading inside. There’s a desk directly across from the door covered in various artifacts. Janis takes a thick document from it, and skims through pages detailing the cult of Mithras. A map is tacked to the wall just above her. “We seem to be in the heart of an old Roman city, my dear.”

“I don’t particularly care for it,” Cady mumbles, arms crossed over her chest. “Why was it abandoned?”

“I’m not sure,” Janis replies. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t wish to, my darling. I can finish up here and meet you later.”

“No,” Cady insists. “It’s not safe here, I’m not leaving you here alone. I just wish you’d hurry.”

“I will, dearest,” Janis replies, kissing Cady’s forehead. Cady nods and enters the room further, turning to a desk just inside the door.

“What are these little cubes?”

“I have no idea,” Janis replies. “Nobody here to miss them, they could be useful.”

Cady manages to stuff all of them into her various pockets and under her skirts to take home. Janis chuckles affectionately. She takes a few more documents explaining more about Mithras, and a special curved, golden knife used in bull sacrifices.

“I think that’s everything of interest here,” Janis says, dashing back out the door and over to a series of very rickety walkways leading to various other areas of the site. She heads straight first, down a winding sort of path to a large fresco.

“Sarkisian, please be careful,” Cady calls anxiously from above. “We have no way of knowing when someone was last here, these paths could collapse at any moment.”

“I’m fine, darling,” Janis calls back from below. She points to the fresco she’s standing on. “It’s the cyclops. And Vulcan, at a forge.”

“Interesting,” Cady says, sounding as if she couldn’t care less. “Now come back.”

Janis does, heading up a slightly crumbled marble staircase back to Cady’s level. Cady walks around on solid ground to meet her and they both head over to some rigs. Janis grabs some rope resting on a crate.

“What is that for?”

“Not a clue. You never know,” Janis replies with a shrug. “Help me with this, there’s something down here.”

Cady helps tug on a rope pulley, bringing up a toolbox from the bottom of one of the rigs. Janis takes and pockets a sort of trowel, but leaves the rest of the archaeological instruments where they are.

Cady looks very relieved as Janis heads over to what remains of a building, instead of darting around some very deep holes. At least the ground is solid over here, and things are less likely to collapse on their heads.

Janis bends over a crate resting on the floor and pulls out a few construction hooks. Cady grows even more concerned than she was earlier when she pockets them as well.

“Who are these meant to be, Janis?” She asks of some nearby statues. She knows she’ll never be able to stop her partner being reckless. Janis follows her out of the building and over to them.

“That’s Neptune, god of the sea,” Janis says, pointing to the one on the far left. “And that’s Minerva.”

“And the middle two?”

“I’d guess Venus and… someone,” Janis replies. “I’ve not read up on Roman mythology in quite a while.”

“I never thought I’d see the day,” Cady teases, turning back around. “The great Janis Sarkisian doesn’t know something.”

“There’s a great many things I don’t know,” Janis replies casually, examining a statue of a bull they can now see. “For example, what happened to this leg?”

“Weather, I would guess, surely?” Cady replies, heading to her side. The hind left leg of the bull is disconnected from the hip.

“Most probably, yes,” Janis agrees. “Well done, love. This way.”

“Oh, not more of these dreadful walkways,” Cady pleads as Janis steps onto yet another rickety path. She follows Janis down this one, for… safety.

“A site like this would have had a hundred people working, and they all crossed these with no issue,” Janis comforts yet again. “I have good reflexes and I know how to fall, darling. I’m fine.”

Cady nods shakily as they reach the bottom and look around. Janis dashes over to an area she observes to have been covered with mud. Intentionally, and recently. She pulls out the trowel she ‘borrowed’ earlier and scrapes it away in chunks, revealing another fresco.

“The frigidarium,” Janis pants, pointing to the label. “At the baths. Someone covered this up intentionally.”

“Why?”

“You ask a great many questions I cannot answer, my dear Heron,” Janis says. “I’ll have to investigate there. Come along back up, I want to check this other shed.”

“What is this railway for?” Cady asks once they’ve followed the wood walkways back to the surface.

“Removing excess rubble,” Janis replies, carefully crossing over to the area of the shed. Yet again, the door has been left open. She heads to some shelves directly across from the door, and finds a drafted letter to Sir Gregory Pitkin’s boss, complaining of his behavior. “Seems Sir Rodney had a remarkable amount of control over his archaeological sites.”

“So Sir Gregory has motive,” Cady says.

“He does indeed,” Janis hums concernedly. “Ooh, a crossbow.”

“No,” Cady says immediately. It’s been disassembled, thankfully for her. “You’re bad enough with a simple pistol.”

“Oh, pish posh,” Janis scoffs. “I’m an excellent shot.”

“Need I remind you how many pigs’ carcasses we had to harpoon before you got it correct?” Cady says.

“And need I remind you that I only missed four out of ten vases? Blindfolded?” Janis retaliates.

“I’m still finding bits of china in my bedsheets,” Cady grumbles. “You had to do that in our flat? You nearly shot me.”

“Nonsense, I was aiming for the vases,” Janis tuts. “Anyway, one last thing.”

“Thank heavens,” Cady huffs, following Janis to a small platform over the river. A bulletin board of sorts sits to the left, and Janis heads to observe it. Another map of the site and a schematic of a gastraphetes are tacked up.

“They used the crossbow and gastraphetes for sieges,” Janis explains.

“How lovely,” Cady says. “Have you finished?”

“Yes, my dear, we’re done,” Janis says, taking her hand to lead her off site and back to the cab.

————-

Cady refuses to let Janis go that night. Janis allows her to cling to her and cuddle close as they lie beside one another in bed.

“What are you thinking about?” Janis murmurs gently, stroking the backs of her fingers over Cady’s cheeks.

“Nothing important,” Cady whispers back, pressing her face into Janis’ neck.

“Everything about you is important to me,” Janis insists quietly, twisting a few of Cady’s long curls around her fingers. “You’ve been acting strangely lately, I just want to make sure you’re alright, my darling.”

Cady nods against her with a quiet sigh. “I am. I’m more than alright. I just… ever since we’ve been courting, I’m… realizing just how dangerous this all is. I’ve nearly lost you twice in this case alone, and we’re still nowhere near solving it. Everything we do is so risky.

“And as much as I can’t bear the thought of something happening to you, you getting injured, or worse… I feel that asking you to stop would be somehow worse. Everything we do is so ingrained into who you are. If I made you retire you’d resent me forever as we lived out our boring, miserable lives. I’m simply trying to appreciate what the risk brings with it. But I’m not quite sure how yet.”

Janis blinks a few times as Cady finishes speaking, trying to process everything she’s just said. After a few moments, she takes a breath to speak. “It is a rather delicate balance. And I do have to admit the danger of it all gives me a rush like no other; the thrill of the chase is a key part of my desire. But, I’ve stepped back slightly. The cases I’m willing to take now are significantly less extreme than the ones I used to go for.

“Because I have… a purpose, now. In you. I have more than a companion. I have someone I provide for, someone I care for, and care about greatly. I have… I have a future in you, that I don’t have in my work. I have something to strive for. I have a life with you, and that’s something I value above anything. I don’t want you worrying for my safety like this, I hate seeing you so anxious. I have you to return to at the end of each day, I take great care to make sure I do. It may not seem it, but I take much time to work out any potential consequences of risks and ways I could be injured.”

“I believe you,” Cady nods. “I’m just… I don’t know. I know we’ve known one another for so many years, but I somehow feel that I’ve only just gotten you. I have what I dreamed of for so long. I’m afraid to lose it.”

“You won’t,” Janis promises. “Not for a long time. I’ll always come back to you.”

“I love you,” Cady replies, cuddling back into her spot.

“I love you too, my darling.”

Cady is silent for a long time, just breathing in her love and enjoying the moment. But she pipes up again when Janis shifts slightly and wraps an arm around her waist. “You said you want a future with me. Do you mean that you’ll retire?”

“Eventually, yes,” Janis agrees. “I’d be willing to say I’ll have to at some point. My body will eventually begin to deteriorate, along with my mind. Or maybe one day I’ll decide the lifestyle isn’t for me anymore. But I’ve been blessed with a rare opportunity for a life of excitement that I have no desire to leave any time soon.”

“I can’t imagine you retired, you’ll still be running me ragged in our old age,” Cady chuckles. “What do you think we’ll do?”

“I’ve always liked Sussex,” Janis murmurs. “The countryside. And… erm…”

“What? You’re all pink,” Cady teases, kissing Janis’ warm cheek. “Come on, you can tell me.”

“I quite like bees,” Janis says quietly, flushing a spectacular shade of scarlet. “I’d like to keep a few hives. Make honey.”

“You like bees?” Cady asks, rolling Janis onto her back and hovering over her. Janis nods with a slight pout that Cady leans down to kiss away. “Why are you so embarrassed? I think it’s sweet. I would never have expected you to enjoy something like that.”

“That’s why,” Janis replies quietly. “Everyone thinks I’m just… interested in death and the macabre. Something as cute as bees doesn’t fit my reputation.”

“I don’t want your reputation,” Cady says. “I want to know you. Who you really are. Tell me about your bees, my love.”

“Er… okay,” Janis says. Cady presses back against her as Janis starts rattling off facts she knows about her favorite species. They both drift off tangled in each other, dreaming about some lovely beehives in the countryside.

————-

Janis and Cady return to the Roman baths the next morning. Mr. Phillips greets them as they enter, and eagerly informs Janis that the rubble has been cleared from the corridor to the frigidarium, as Janis had requested. Cady seems particularly displeased that Janis wants to enter the room that very nearly collapsed on her, but she just remembers what Janis told her yesterday and tries to calm herself.

Cady follows Janis down the hall and into a rather large bathing room. It’s overgrown and dilapidated, but still very beautiful. A series of pillars outline the large bath, and Janis approaches the one closest to them when she notices a symbol etched into the base. She traces her fingers around it and pushes, revealing it to be a sort of mechanism.

“Heron, could you mark this symbol down?” She asks, upon seeing there to be a sort of key-shaped symbol drawn that was previously hidden by the button mechanism. Cady carefully copies it down in her notebook and follows as Janis moves to the other pillars.

Nearly every statue turns out to have one of the mechanisms, but only three have symbols hidden inside. Cady watches as Janis seems to align the symbols in her mind and suddenly dashes over to a bust tucked against a wall. Janis rotates it, causing a great rumbling to echo through the room as a door opens.

“Incredible,” Cady breathes. Janis grins at her slightly and takes her hand, leading her towards the door. The door leads to a small room, with an open trapdoor. “Not more of this.”

Janis takes hold of the rope hanging into the door and climbs down. Cady follows anxiously, nearly falling until Janis grabs her around the waist and helps her down.

“What is this place?”

“I am still unsure,” Janis hums, looking around at where they’ve found themselves. “But everything points to it being the last place visited by Sir Rodney. I have reason to believe we’re approaching the end of this case, my dear Heron.”

“Thank heavens for that,” Cady grumbles. She points to the corner nearest the door, where several items lay apparently forgotten. “What could those be for?”

Janis heads over to investigate, taking and lighting the lantern to use. “A broken glass negative, and… an ice maker.”

“Why would Sir Rodney have brought such a device here?”

“With any luck we shall know soon, my darling. Only one way forward,” Janis replies.

“Or we could go back,” Cady mumbles unhappily, following her companion. “Whole place apt to crumble any minute, and all. Oh, of course not.”

“Look at this,” Janis says, pointing to one of the frescos on the wall. She’s either not heard Cady or chosen to ignore her complaints. Most probably the latter. “Mithras again.”

“It is beautiful,” Cady agrees. It’s clearly ancient and faded, but she can still see the fine details. Janis has already moved on to the next fresco. “A ladder?”

“Or a hierarchy,” Janis nods. Cady carefully writes down all of the symbols in the order they go in, just in case. “Right, this way.”

“Oh god,” Cady shudders when they enter the next room. It appears to be a catacombs of sorts. The walls are lined with mummies, and several large pillars outline the center passage through it. To Cady’s horror, large sections of each pillar are constructed from human bones and skulls.

“Heron, come look at this,” Janis calls, crouched against one of the far walls to look at something. Cady heads over and finds her to be examining yet another skeleton. “See his shoe. I’d date it to be medieval at best. This man was a tomb raider.”

“But look at his eye,” Cady says with a slight shudder. “His orbit is broken. This man met a rather similar fate to Sir Rodney. How dreadful.”

“‘By the eye he was punished for he saw what he was not worthy’,” Janis recites, recalling a transcript she’d read earlier. “Hm. Well, that’s enough of that.”

Cady gratefully leaves the corpse and follows Janis as she heads to examine the large pillars. They have small gaps in them, which contain brushwood. Janis lights the three she can, which causes shadows in certain shapes to be cast on the floor. But one of the pillars has collapsed.

“There should be a plate here,” Janis says. “Someone has removed… oh! Heron, wait here!”

“Wait, I don’t-“ Cady stutters, but Janis thrusts the lantern at her and runs off. Cady crosses her arms and tries not to think about where she is. It’s not as if she’s not well acquainted with death and corpses, but she still doesn’t care to keep their company.

Luckily for her, Janis is back within five minutes. There was a deafening metallic clang and then a small series of thuds, but Janis seems fine. She re-enters the catacombs carrying the metal plate she found in Sir Rodney’s office.

“Are you alright?” Cady asks as Janis dusts herself off slightly. “I heard noises.”

“Fell off the rope this time, I’m fine,” Janis replies quietly. So Janis had fallen through the trapdoor. Of course. “Over here, my love.”

Cady follows with the lantern as Janis heads back to the collapsed pillar. Janis holds up the plate to the same height as the others and closes her eyes. After a few seconds she opens them again, and heads to the shadows on the floor.

“A trident, a bull, and a bridge. Leads to Mithras,” Janis says, pointing to each. Cady can’t see the bridge, since that’s the one missing, but she trusts her partner.

“The dig site,” Cady realizes. “The statue of Neptune, and then the bull. The bridge must be missing.”

Janis looks at her with wide eyes, cupping her face gently and smashing their lips together. Cady gasps quietly before responding in kind.

“You have much more use than I think anyone gives you credit for,” Janis murmurs. “Another case I may never have solved without you.”

Cady smiles at her and kisses her again. “Can we please leave this place now?”

Janis chuckles and nods. “Yes, come along, my dear.”

“Thank goodness.”

————-

“Darling?” Janis calls from her analysis table the next afternoon. Cady pops her head out from her bedroom.

“Yes, Honeybee?”

“Honeybee?” Janis squeaks, flushing bright red. Cady chuckles and heads over to her.

“You said you like bees, I thought it was sweet,” she murmurs, kissing just beneath Janis’ ear. “Do you not like it?”

“No!” Janis says immediately. “No, I-I like it. Just… maybe not while I’m working.”

“Understood. What do you need, my love?” Cady laughs gently.

“I’d like to work out the purpose of these cubes,” Janis says, showing off the twelve cubes they had found the last time they were at the archaeological dig. “I thought it would be rather like a jigsaw puzzle, we could work on it together.”

“It does look that way,” Cady hums, nodding and picking up a few. “Come along.”

Janis grabs the rest and follows, sitting with Cady in front of the fireplace. Cady starts sorting them into groups based on where the notches are to make it easier for them. Janis knows she could have solved it on her own, probably in much less time, but this gives her an excuse to do something almost peaceful with her partner.

So, they sit and puzzle, chatting about things Janis used to find dull. With Cady even the most aimless of conversation is suddenly exciting and new. She hopes it stays this way. About half an hour later, the object is complete.

“It’s a mould,” Janis says. “Huh.”

“What does it make?”

“Haven’t the foggiest,” Janis says, delicately moving it back to her analysis table. Cady watches as she makes a quick dry plaster solution and pours it into the mould. A few moments later, when it’s solidified, Janis cracks the cubes apart to reveal…

“This is very similar to the knife that killed Sir Rodney,” Cady says in concern, as Janis holds out a small knife with a curved blade.

“You should not jump to any hasty conclusions, my darling,” Janis chides gently. “I’ll need to run some more tests. You up for another puzzle?”

“Always,” Cady grins, flipping the knife around a few times before resting it on the table. Janis lays out the pieces of the broken glass negative they had found while exploring beneath the frigidarium. This goes a bit quicker, since they can see where the pieces should fit together more easily.

“Could you process this with your old equipment?”

Cady nods, and carefully transfers everything to a tray to keep it together properly. She’s able to transfer it to photo paper, and gives the product to Janis to develop. Janis carefully prepares the proper chemicals and swipes them over the photograph. Cady comes to peek at what has been revealed.

“This is Sir Rodney, and another archaeologist,” Janis says. “Eating ice-cream in front of the Pyramids of Giza, in Egypt.”

“‘Ice-cream in the desert, we are indebted to the Romans who developed the technique’,” Cady reads from a note in the corner. “So salt and ice can be used to create ice-cream. That’s quite remarkable!”

“Indeed,” Janis murmurs in concern. “Thank you for your assistance, my dear.”

“Of course! Do you have anything else you need me for at the moment?” Cady chirps. Janis looks at the photograph once again.

“Actually… yes,” she hums. “Could you go purchase some ice?”

“Ice?”

“And salt?”

“Er… okay,” Cady replies. It’s far from the strangest thing Janis has asked her to acquire. Maybe Janis wants to make ice cream too. “I’ll be back shortly.”

“Thank you darling,” Janis replies, kissing Cady goodbye as she tugs on her coat and heads out the door.

In the meantime, Janis runs a different experiment. She cleans out the pot she used to make her plaster solution carefully, and prepares her gas burner. She melts the lump of silver they had found in the brazier in the sauna, and pours it into the mould. It’s a near perfect fit. Janis pulls out the silver knife and stares at it, flipping it around in her hands. One possible explanation solved.

—-

Cady comes crashing through the door roughly an hour later, brandishing a small sack of salt and a brick of ice. She drops both at her feet carefully and is panting slightly as she unbuttons her coat once more. “Ice is… heavier… than I remember.”

“Are you alright?” Janis chuckles, kissing her in greeting and picking up her materials. Cady nods and follows her back over to her work table.

“What are you planning with it?”

“Ice knife.”

“What?”

“I’m going to make an ice knife,” Janis replies. She places the brick of ice in a wooden bucket and grabs her chisel, and pours the salt into another smaller container. The mould is placed into the middle of the ice cream machine they had found in the catacombs, and filled with water. Janis uses her chisel to produce some ice chips and surrounds the mould. “Could you pour a bit of the salt in?”

Cady carefully covers the ice chips with the salt, and they repeat the process until the temperature is low and steady enough to have frozen the water solid. Janis carefully pulls the mould out and splits it open once more to reveal the weapon.

“Either way, it was rather ingenious to create a weapon that could dissolve at the scene of the crime,” Cady says, picking up the silver knife.

“Yes, quite,” Janis hums. “All that’s left is to find Mithras.”

“Must we?” Cady whines.

“Regretfully, yes,” Janis chuckles. “Remember what we spoke of, dearest. We’ve been through many a case together and come out the other side. Now we shall do so hand in hand.”

Cady grins weakly at that and cuddles into her shoulder. They don’t have to investigate until tomorrow. She’s going to take all the time to cuddle her partner she can get.

————-

Janis heads back to Scotland Yard the next morning, wanting to gather as much information about Mithras as she can from the suspects before she attempts to go searching herself. Blinkhorn goes first.

“Hello again. What are you able to tell me about Mithras?” Janis begins, standing across the table from him. Blinkhorn lights up.

“Oh, so much,” he says eagerly. “It was the focus of our work. Why do you ask?”

“Were you searching for the Golden Knife?”

“Ah, I see you are an amateur,” Blinkhorn chuckles. Janis furrows her brow but lets him talk. “Yes, the Golden Knife was our… Holy Grail, so to speak. It is said that it bears the only explanation of the ritual of the Cult of Mithras.”

“I believe I read something about immortality?” Janis questions. Blinkhorn nods.

“A simple myth. It is said that the knife would provide immortality, to only the worthy one. And yet it is cursed, and it would kill you if you were not initiated.”

“And did you expect to find the Knife at the baths?”

“Well… Sir Rodney believed it might be. Did you see the knife representations around? They are extraordinary,” Blinkhorn sighs. “Oh, it’s a tragedy that he has passed away. And taken all his secrets with him. As soon as I am released I shall continue my researches. In his memory.”

“How kind,” Janis says dryly. “Thank you for your time.”

Blinkhorn is then exchanged for Pitkin, who grumbles the whole way across the hallway to the interrogation room, and looks as if he’s ready to spit on Janis when she sits across from him once more. “I understand that the paintings at the baths are focused on Mithras?”

“Yes. They are what make the place so remarkable,” Pitkin replies angrily.

“Are they why Sir Rodney came here?”

“He believed an important ritual item, the Golden Knife, was hidden somewhere around thr area of the baths,” Pitkin says. “I admit it would be wonderful, if it were true.”

“You are not concerned by the… reputation, of this artifact?” Janis asks, leaning back in her chair as if they’re simply having a casual conversation. Pitkin chuckles sardonically.

“What, you mean the curse? Before someone is dead, it is a blessing. After they die, it becomes a curse. Ha.”

Cady raises her eyebrows at Janis as Pitkin is exchanged for Garrow. He still doesn’t seem particularly well. But Cady supposes that spending several days in a cell would have significant effects on just about anyone.

Janis sits across from him and watches as he begins rocking slightly, the way he did the first time. “Could you tell me about the Cult of Mithras?”

Garrow snaps his head up to look at her, his eyes wide and bloodshot. “No! There is nothing to say! We are not the worthy ones.”

“But Sir Rodney believed that he was?” Janis asks, leaning forwards slightly.

“He was-was wrong! I have visions,” Garrow cries. “The Golden Knife, the-the mummy! Oh, it is all my fault!”

“Calm yourself, Mr. Garrow,” Janis insists. Garrow takes his phial of medication from his pocket and swallows a portion just before he is escorted back to the cell.

Now to find Mithras themselves.

————

Cady pouts slightly as they pull up to the archaeological dig once more, but she smiles as Janis carefully takes her hand to help her out of the cab.

“Would you be so kind as to hold these, my dear?” Janis asks, picking up the ropes and hooks she had left near the gate on their last visit. Cady holds out her arms, and Janis rests them in her hold. “Thank you. This way, we shan’t be terribly long.”

“We had better not,” Cady grumbles, following Janis to the far cabin near the river. Janis rubs her hands together excitedly when she gets to use the crossbow. It has been deconstructed, but Janis pieces everything together expertly in less than five minutes.

Janis carefully ties the ropes to the hooks, and loads the first into the gastraphetes. From the platform over the water, she takes aim at a pillar about fifty feet away.

“Stand back, my love,” Janis orders. “I am not well practiced in this exercise. Yet.”

Cady stands off to the side anxiously, watching as Janis holds her breath and fires. She misses the first time, but makes contact with the leftmost ring on her second shot. She ties the other end of the rope to the platform and reloads.

Once all three of the rings have been hooked and the ropes tied, Janis carefully tests the strength of them and beckons Cady back over.

“Would you care to go first?”

“No,” Cady says anxiously. “But I will. Are you sure it’s safe?”

“Not at all. Ready?” Janis asks, taking her hand and helping her onto their makeshift bridge. “Hold right to the sides and don’t look down. I’ll be right behind you.”

Cady listens, gripping the rope so tightly her knuckles turn white. She carefully inches her way across the rapid river below, until she reaches the far side. Janis follows, and accepts Cady’s hand to be pulled onto the platform. They head into the door that had been previously hidden to them, and down yet another trapdoor.

“Are we in the hidden temple?” Cady asks.

“I am not sure. We should be careful,” Janis replies, pulling out and lighting her lantern once again. She holds it in her left hand and Cady’s hand with her right, and they set off.

A staircase takes them down still further, until they enter an almost circular room, with several ways out. A symbol marks the floor and above each door. They look strangely familiar.

“Did you bring your notebook, my darling?”

“Always,” Cady replies, pulling it from her pocket. Janis takes it and flips through pages of various things until she finds the drawing Cady made of the hierarchy fresco beneath the frigidarium. The symbol of the door they just came through is one listed on the bottom level. Time to work their way up.

“Stay close to me, we should tread carefully,” Janis says. Cady nods anxiously and squeezes her hand. Janis looks back up from the book and picks a corridor, hoping desperately that her theory is correct and she doesn’t get them horrifically lost.

They head through a few tunnels, getting about a third of the way up the ladder in the drawing. One of the rooms they enter has every path blocked by a gate. A pillar sits in the middle of the room, with three columns and several stones on it.

“What do we do?”

“What we always do. Solve another puzzle,” Janis replies, carefully picking up a stone. When she rests it on a column, it sinks in slightly. Cady helps choose which stones should go where, until all three are at the same level. When they get it correct, the gates lift with a thunderous rumbling. “Back to it.”

Janis continues following the drawing, leading them through the doors with the proper symbols. Just at the end, they reach a long staircase up.

“Where are we?” Cady asks, looking around. A series of metal gates surround them, along with several small waterfalls. Directly across from them is a statue.

“The temple of Mithras,” Janis murmurs, approaching it.

“The golden knife,” Cady breathes, pointing to his hand. “But how to get it?”

“We shall find a way,” Janis answers, bending down to inspect a broken lamp. “This is not old, the oil is still fresh.”

“Perhaps Sir Rodney left it?” Cady inquires.

“No, I do not think so,” Janis says, standing once more. “He passed no further than the catacombs under the frigidarium.”

“So that means…”

“The murderer left this lamp,” Janis confirms. She heads back to the center of the room and looks around, spying a few levers on the wall inside one of the gates. “Wait here, my love, I believe this to be a two-person job.”

Cady listens, and waits for Janis to call instructions to her. Janis twists the lever in front of her, which locks her in but opens a way for Cady to go.

“What opened?” Janis calls.

“A gate, here,” Cady calls back. “Shall I go through?”

“Please,” Janis says. Cady goes through. “Have you any levers?”

“Yes, there’s one here,” Cady replies.

“Turn that,” Janis says. Cady does, holding it until she hears Janis say to let go. They continue this, calling instructions to one another and testing levers, until a way opens for Janis to escape, and Cady has a lever to open the gate in front of the statue of Mithras.

Janis approaches and carefully takes it, before she heads back to her series of levers and gates to free her partner. There’s a staircase out to the surface that has been blocked by yet another gate. They coach each other through until it’s opened, and escape into the daylight hand in hand, as Janis promised.

—-

Janis goes into her mind palace once they’re back in a cab. Cady has learned over the many years of their relationship that speaking to her in this state is effectively useless. Janis is connecting many dots in her mind, and so focused that she’s shut away all external stimulation.

Cady watches as Janis’ eyes move under her eyelids, her brain firing off rapid signals as she pieces together clues and information to conclude the case. Just as they pull back onto Baker Street, her eyes snap open and she gives a coy grin.

“Have you got it?” Cady asks, despite already knowing the answer.

“Have I indeed,” Janis replies, taking her hand and running back up to their flat.

————-

Janis carefully rests the Golden Knife on the wooden table.

Blinkhorn looks up at her in shock, gently taking it between his fingers to examine. “Is this… the Golden Knife? How did you find it?”

“I am also rather fond of digging, Mr. Blinkhorn,” Janis replies casually. “One never knows what one might find. On occasion, exceptional rarities such as this. The thrill of the chase, one’s enhanced reputation. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Are-are you suggesting that-“

“I am not suggesting anything, Mr. Blinkhorn. I know,” Janis replies. “You found the knife. You are an intelligent man. The ‘ghost’ knife shall remain one of the most ingenious creations I have seen in my career, I do assure you.”

“Wait, are you accusing me of the murder?” Blinkhorn says in alarm. “No! I-I deny it!”

“There is no use in denying it, Mr. Blinkhorn. I know the truth,” Janis says calmly. “You had no choice. Because it is you who discovered the Golden Knife, and therefore you who must be the murderer. Sir Rodney was prepared to take all the credit for the remarkable discovery, when in fact it was your work.

“He would have destroyed you, to ensure the truth was never revealed. But I uphold the truth. And I shall tell it.”

“What-what do you mean? That you will spare me?”

“What I mean is that everyone deserves a second chance,” Janis says. “Someone very important to me taught me that. I shall be following your career with utmost interest. Farewell.”

“Fare-farewell, Ms. Sarkisian,” Blinkhorn stutters.

————-

“Sarkisian, I am afraid I don’t understand how you’ve come to this conclusion,” Inspector Hubbard says, sitting across from her in the living room while Cady tends to the fire. She also turns around to look at her partner, curious to see how she solved the case.

“Shall I begin with the method?” Janis asks, clearly relishing in the opportunity to brag. Some things never change. Both of her companions nod, so she begins. “I had only to observe the pool of blood around the body. You surely must have noticed it to be significantly thinner than typical, and that it had not coagulated properly. A simple analysis revealed it to be heavily diluted with water. The steam in the room at the time would not have been sufficient enough to cause dilution of that degree.

“I admit, I didn’t know what the cause would be, until we discovered the ice cream maker in the catacombs. The killer produced an ice knife there, and stored it in the bucket of champagne until it was the proper time. Once they were in the steam room, he killed Sir Rodney, and the heat caused it to melt rapidly.”

“Incredible,” Damian says. “I would’ve thought it to be the silver you found.”

“I had only to speak to Mr. Garrow to dismiss that conclusion. He is a superstitious fellow, and he put the silver in the brazier for spiritual protection,” Janis explains.

“And how did you deduce it to be Blinkhorn? That’s the bit I’m missing.” Cady asks. Damian looks back and forth between his companions, noticing the way they’re looking at one another. He smiles slightly. They deserve happiness together.

“Because he is, given a significant amount of critical thought, the only suspect that would have made sense. Garrow was not of sound mind, he was too weak to have carried out such an elaborate and well planned crime. Pitkin, on the other hand, would not have served to gain anything from Sir Rodney’s death. He had no way of knowing whether the murder would have damaged the baths’ reputation, and he was not working closely with Sir Rodney to begin with. He had slight motive, but compared to Blinkhorn’s it’s vastly insignificant.

“Blinkhorn had made one of the most astounding archaeological discoveries of our era, and Sir Rodney was prepared to trample him to take the credit for it. So, he had no choice but to get rid of Sir Rodney to defend his own career. He chose a rather appropriate fate for him, I must say.”

“Well, I thank you for bringing this case to a close, and for revealing to us Sir Rodney’s true nature. We shall be keeping a close eye on Blinkhorn regardless, but he has been released,” Damian says, standing to leave. Janis follows him to see him out. “And on a personal note, my congratulations. It’s about time. I wish you all the happiness.”

“Maybe you’ll make a fine detective yet,” Janis chuckles. “My thanks, Damian. Farewell.”

Damian tips his hat and takes his leave. Janis returns to Cady and pulls her into an embrace.

“Another one for your stories,” she murmurs, looking into Cady’s blue eyes. “And one with several fond memories for me.”

“Most definitely,” Cady says, threading her arms around Janis’ neck and pressing up to kiss her. “I regret I can’t share more details of the events of this one. But I shall get to work on it immediately.”

“Maybe not immediately,” Janis coaxes. “I, for one, am quite tired.”

“Maybe not immediately,” Cady agrees with a chuckle. “Come to bed, Honeybee.”

“Always, my love.”

Until our next adventure.

----------

hope you enjoyed the adventures of... sherlockisian?? and watsheron??

anyway, back to modern day, I'm finishing up a few things for this blog (giving it a fresh coat of paint so to speak) and then ill have some exciting things coming up!! for me anyway, i hope y'all are into it too. just keep an eye out for things coming over the next few days!!

as always, thank you so much for reading, and ill see you all next week!!

lots of love,

ezzy

[loudsuitlover]

Doctor Harry II

HARRY’S POV

I can almost see Mario’s nerves over his shoulders as he stands in front of Doctor Rowing in the waiting line of the cafeteria. I would laugh at him if I hadn’t been there before. I still remember how it felt like to be a first year doctor and having no idea of what you’re doing and feeling as if everyone is judging you or reviewing every little thing you do. I’m lucky I had Danny and that’s what I’m trying to be to Mario too. If we didn’t have one another we’d probably be fucked. 

Mario finally makes it to the table with three cups of coffee on a tray at the same time Danny walks inside the cafeteria. I feel my heartbeat fastening when I see Sorry walking next to him. He laughs at something she says and I see her smiling carefree. I can’t help feeling a little jealous of him, but not in a posesive way, I would just like to be him in that moment or in every moment he’s close to her. He raises his eyebrows as a greeting to us and Sorry’s eyes follow his until she smiles at us. I like to think she smiled at me more than she smiled at Mario. 

“I’ll email Ethan the notes this afternoon. Tops tomorrow morning. And I’ll bring you the book. And you know where my office is, any doubt just come over.” Danny’s smiling when he turns around and join us. 

“You’re really committed with teaching.” Mario notices. 

Danny just shakes his head and keeps smiling. 

“I quite like it to be honest and they’re really great students.” 

“You give them the notes?” Mario asks. “I wish my teacher had given me the notes too.” He laughs.

“That’s exactly why I give them the notes. They have time enough to actually read them before class so they can ask questions and it’s a lot more interesting. Plus it helps me prepare the lessons too.” He shrugs. 

Sorry is sitting with her friends on a table on the far corner of the cafeteria. I recognize all of them even though I’ve only supervised practised of two, Jason and Marie, but I know the other girl is called Olivia because Sorry has told me about her. She’s better at pretending she doesn’t mind my presence than I am but our eyes meet  when she glances at me too. 

“I can take a picture of her during lectures if you want.” Danny teases me and I roll my eyes. 

“I can take a picture of her too.” I shrug. 

“You’re not denying you like her.” 

“You didn’t say I liked her.” I take my eyes off her and look at my friend’s face for the first time since Sorry sat there. “But what if I do? I won’t do anything.” 

“Why not?” 

I look at him as if he has grown a third eye and I feel my eyes bulging out of my face. I know I must look like a mad man because both Mario and him laugh out loud.

“What?” He shrugs. 

“She’s... What do you mean why? Have you ever had a thing with a student?” 

“No, of course not.” Now it’s his eyes that bulge. “But it’s not the same. I’m their professor.” 

“Well I’m her teacher when she has practice with me at the hospital.” My eyes almost involuntarily search for her again. “Or at least that’s how she sees me.” 

I think of all the different times I’ve failed at keeping it professional between us. I’ve flirted with her way too many times for her not to have noticed but the worst part, or maybe the best, is that she plays along. I melt every time she flirts back because no matter how many times she does it I never expect it. I remember the first couple of days with her when she was all nervous and shy and she would blush even when she asked me stuff about Medicine but then I remember when Peter made fun of me in front of her and then she made fun of me herself after he was gone. I would have fucked her right there and then. 

I don’t really know what it is about her though. I mean she’s obviously gorgeous, but I’ve seen a lot of gorgeous girls and I’ve never felt this animalistic desire of devouring them but I think the fact that in my head is somewhat wrong makes it all the more exciting. Other than beautiful, she’s also incredibly sexy. The way her voice sounds even behind the surgical mask and the way she moves and her skin and her scent. Man, I’d kill to be embroiled on that scent forever. To have her legs around my face, her inner thighs against my cheeks as I devour her and she lets me.  

“I didn’t mean for you to ask her out right now.” Danny’s voice takes me out of my daydream and thank God because otherwise I would have probably get so horny it would have been embarrassing. “But they only have three weeks of practice on Anesthesia and she’s already done two, hasn’t she?” 

“Why do you know that so well?” I don’t know why I got defensive but Danny finds it funny. “Do you know every student’s schedule?” 

“No,” he chuckles “but I’m a human, some students I like better than others. That group is funny.” He smiles. “I’d even like to go out with them sometime.” 

“Mate, since you broke up with Cristina you’re unleashed.” Mario laughs and I join him. 

Danny laughs too and shrugs before he speaks. 

“They’re funny, that’s all I’m saying.” 

I see Peter and his friend Richard walking inside the cafeteria and he stands next to Sorry’s table as he waits at the bar. He says something to her and she chuckles. I find myself smiling. Man, I’m a sucker. 

Peter walks towards our table and places a hand on Danny’s shoulder. 

“How’s fourth year this year?” 

“Good.” Danny nods. 

“Okay so here’s the thing.” He looks at me and Mario then. “Doctor Mats asked me to prepare a seminar about the permeability of airway so I’ve thought instead of just talking and doing something theoretical and boring we could take the simulators, you know the dummies, and we could do Emergency airway, surgery airway and ambulance airway. We could divide the class in three groups and do a simultaneous practice so Harry you could explain emergency, Mario you could do surgery and I could do ambulance. What do you think?” 

INDIE’S POV 

I swear to God if Olivia doesn’t stop glancing at Harry I’m going to tear her head off. I thank God every day that she didn’t have practice with him because I’m sure she would have told him something or worse, flirt with him. Granted, I like to think I’m special and that he only has that playful attitude with me, but I’m not an idiot and I know that’s probably not true. He’s a Greek god and he’s funny and smart and confident. I bet every woman on this hospital would be more than happy to have a fling with him and he probably plays along. It’s clear to me he does like flirting. 

“It’s crazy how he’s staring at you.” Olivia chuckles. “I’m so jealous, having a fling with a clinical tutor is one of my fantasies.” 

Then again Olivia has fantasies with a lot of things. I snort a chuckle and try to get back at J’s and Marie’s conversation but after Ollie’s comment is a little harder because I can feel his eyes on me. 

“Anyway Mark is really nice, I think you’d like him.” 

Marie grimaces. It’s so funny to me that she’s so picky with man. Jason’s eyes bulge. 

“What? Do you not like him? He’s hot. Indie, look.” 

He hands me his phone with said Mark’s instagram opened and I scroll through his pictures. He has some pictures with a husky dog and some other pictures doing snowboard or surfing. He’s sportive and fit and his face looks cute too with curly dark hair and a gentle smile. 

“He seems cute.” I smile at Marie. 

“No, he really does. It’s just not him. It’s...” She sighs. “I mean I’ve gone out with half the football team already, I don’t wanna get a name.” 

Jason rolls his eyes. 

“They’re dying to go out with my friends. Since they think I’m the only gay on the team, they’re always asking me to bring hot friends.” 

I laugh at the way he says “they think I’m the only gay” because that’s they think about J, he thinks straight people are just “unaware bisexuals”, his words not mine. 

“And anyway Olivia’s already slept with the other half and they’ve never said a word about her.”

“They haven’t?” 

I laugh at the way she seems to be offended. She probably is but then she looks at me and laughs too. Marie joins us. 

“Anyway what happened with Mason? I thought you liked him.” 

“I did but I didn’t invite him to come in because I didn’t want to sleep with him on the first date and he hasn’t called me since.” 

I place my hand over hers. 

“Why do you make such a big deal out of sex?” Olivia rolls her eyes. 

She can be so raw sometimes. 

“Well not all of us wear such wide undies, Ollie.” Marie raises her eyebrows at her and she smiles. 

“That’s when I wear undies.” She winks. 

Both of them chuckle and I shake my head at my friends. I’m so happy that we all manage to fit so perfectly together even when we’re so different. Jason stands up from his chair and looks at us three with a questioning look. 

“Are we all skipping Pediatrics?” He asks. “I thought it was mandatory.” 

We all laugh at his desperate attempt to skip class as per usual. 

“It is mandatory.” Olivia says, wrapping her arm around his shoulders and walking out. “Indie, today’s your turn to pay.” 

“I know.” 

Both Olivia and Jason walk ahead of us claiming they’re gonna get us good seats but knowing them I know they mean seats at the back and Marie walks with me to the register so I can pay for their coffee and my tea. 

“Why is it so hard to find a guy that takes his time?” I know she isn’t waiting for an answer. “I mean someone who’s not just interested in sex. You know going on a date to the movies or having dinner somewhere nice and then kissing goodnight at the front door and wait for the next? Getting flowers for no better reason than just wanting to make you feel special...” 

“I mean you can always go find a guy at a nursing home.” I joke. 

She rolls her eyes but ends up smiling and we both chuckle. 

“Sorry, I’ve seen slower people” Harry says behind us “after propofol.” 

I turn my head and smile at him and he chuckles. 

“We have double session today.” He adds. “I’m gonna end up fed up with you.” He raises his eyebrows. “I don’t earn enough for this many hours of Sorry.” 

I smile. 

“What do you mean double session?” 

“I’m presenting a seminar at 1 pm today and then you have practice, don’t you?” 

“Well I can do practice with someone else if you’re so tired of me.” 

“Don’t.” He smirks. 

I chuckle as both Marie and I leave the cafeteria and walk towards the lectures hall. I see her turning her head around and roll my eyes even before she speaks. 

“That’s what I’m talking about.” 

I spend the entire Pediatrics lecture biting on my nails, completely unable to pay attention, so for once I’m glad Ollie and JJ are so careless and always sit at the back. I just can’t take the thought of Harry presenting a seminar off my mind. I don’t know why I imagine him wearing a suit like some CEO when I know he’s gonna wear his hospital uniform, which don’t take me wrong, fits him like a glove and makes him so fucking sexy but somehow the thought of him wearing something else is exciting to me, probably because I’ve never seen him on anything different.

Even though we’re all sitting next to one another, our group chat “The Golden Girls” is on fire since none of us seems to be paying attention to the Pediatric lesson in front of us. 

Jason: What do you mean Harry is presenting the seminar?

Ollie: That’s not even important, JJ. I mean that don’t? As if don’t take practice with anyone else bc he wants you to be with him? I mean I’m wet. 

Jason: When are you dry? That’s the real question. 

Marie: The way she looks at you too... Be careful Indie. 

Ollie: What do you mean be careful? Do not be careful. Fuck him senseless. 

Jason: If you don’t I will. 

Ollie: No, I will. He’s straight. 

Jason: So you say. 

As soon as the lecture finishes the four of us get up and make our way to the door while the people who actually pay attention ask questions. Those heroes... Peter, Mario and Harry are casually chatting outside the classroom with huge black plastic bags and three dummies. Marie smiles excitedly and pries on the tools they brought making them laugh. I see Harry smiling at me and my belly erupts as every time he does. 

Peter walks inside the classroom and explains us what we’re going to do while Mario and Harry seem to set different workstations. Jason, Marie, Ollie and I join one of the three groups and start at Peter’s station with surgical airway. He teaches us how to intubate the dummy and we take turns in doing so, eventually ventilating and watching whether it’s the lungs or the belly that inflates. Jason gets it wrong four times and naturally the three of us mess with him. 

“Jason’s patien is still farting.” Peter joins our joking and Jason just laughs along. “That’s the good thing, that you get it wrong now so you won’t get it wrong with the real patient.” He smiles. 

Even though I’m rather concentrate because I actually like this, I can still feel Harry’s eyes on me and every time I look up our eyes meet and he doesn’t even look away. He knows the effect he has on me and he’s enjoying it. 

Mario’s station is right next to Harry’s and they chat to one another as my group follows Mario’s instructions. Jason’s happy that this dummy doesn’t have a belly so we can’t keep making fun of him when he does it wrong again because he’s so sure he’s gonna fail he ends up failing every time but we have fun with Mario. He’s shy but Ollie and JJ are not and he’s young so he laughs along with all the joking. 

When we get to Harry’s station, I can’t erase the grin off my face and every time he looks at me I see the corners of his lips curling up too. He introduces himself and asks for everybody’s name, except from mine, Jason’s and Marie’s and I’m happy he isn’t pretending we don’t know each other even if I don’t know why I thought he would. I can tell he’s trying not to look at me too much but his eyes linger on mine longer than they linger on the rest of the people on the group. That alone has my belly doing somersaults because all the girls in my group are really pretty, especially my friends, and the fact that he’s still paying a little extra attention to me has me feeling weak at the knees. But I know he’s on teacher mode and obviously that only makes the whole thing feel funnier between my legs. He really turns me on so much when he gets all smart. 

For the first part of the station, we just watch him work as he explains and demostrates the procedure just like we have watched Peter and Mario but of course with Harry is different, he’s way more mesmerizing, almost hyptnoic and judging by the look on the rest of girls’ faces, I’m not the only one who thinks that. I feel a stupid jealousy attack that burns the pit of my belly and I hate myself for being so foolish. This is so silly, God. He would never ever see me like that. 

Jason’s the first one of us four to try it and as I watch him repeting Harry’s instruction with the ambu ventilation out lout, I realize somehow Harry’s ended up standing right next to me. I feel my cheeks heating because he’s so close his arm is touching mine and I can feel his body heat- he must be some sort of human heater- and his scent secretly fills my nostrils. I can feel him glancing at me from the corner of his eyes every now and then. Maybe he’s realized we seem to have gravitated to each other too... 

He keeps adding bits of information as the rest of my mates follow his instructions and I almost want to kill myself when it’s Olivia’s turn because of course she doesn’t fail to mention I’ve told her about him. I shut my eyes and snort and when my eyes open again I see Harry staring at me with an amused smile. 

“That’s funny” He says “she’s told me about you too.” 

I smirk at his reaction but I pray to God they do not enter on a teasing competition because knowing Ollie I don’t know who’d win. My classmates’ face is so funny. It’s clear they have no idea what’s going on and I love that they’re thinking I have something with him. I don’t, but the fact that these girls who minutes before were looking at him as if he was a stick of meat know think there might be something between us is sending me over the moon. 

“I wonder what she’s told you about me...” Ollie starts, please God don’t let her say what I think she’s going to say. “Do you want to know what she’s told me about you?” She smirks devilishly. 

I feel Harry’s chest vibrating next to me as he chuckles and I feel my cheeks and neck heat up. 

“No.” 

I feel my heart crushing a little at his apparent lack of interest, but then again what is he going to say? Yes? In front of everybody? Ollie smiles as she hands him the guedel cannula back because she knows she’s won. 

“Okay, Sorry, now it’s your turn.” 

I know Sorry might not be the loveliest nickname but it still makes my insides turn upside down every time he calls me that. I’m biting back a smile as I pass over him so I’m hovering over the dummy’s mouth. I do the ambu ventilations without much trouble despite the fact that feeling his eyes on me like that makes my hands trouble. I hand him the ambu and hold my hand out for him to give me the guedel cannula but he doesn’t. 

“Harry?” His eyes focus on mine and I chuckle at his absent mindedness. “Can I have the guedel cannula, please?” 

“Yes, of course, sorry.” He smiles. 

Is he blushing? I smile myself as I carefully introduce the cannula inside the dummy’s mouth before I slowly but firmly turn my wrist until I feel the canula inserting itself on the dummy’s throat. I look up at him but he really seems to be out of it, his eyes set on my hands. I clear my throat. 

“That was very good.” He congratulates me. “It’s...” 

He clears his throat too and looks at the rest of my classmates. Did I just make Harry nervous? I want to laugh at the thought. 

“It’s very important when you’re introducing the cannula.” He approaches me until his body is standing right behind me and then I feel his breath on my ear. “May I?” 

His hand hovers over mine but before I can take my hand off the cannula so he can manoeuvre with it, he places his hand over mine and helps me move the cannula myself. 

“It’s very important that you slide the cannula across the tongue so that when you introduce it inside the throat, it doesn’t touch the uvula.” 

I’m sure he can feel my chest going up and down erraticly as I fight for my breath. Who would have thought emergency ventilation could sound so sexy? I feel lightheaded because having him talking about sliding things across the tongue so that it doesn’t touch the uvula when it gets in the throat it’s having me thinking all sorts of things. I can’t help but picture myself on my knees in front of him and him slowly fucking my mouth until he’s on my throat and I feel the pressure on the back of my neck and my eyes water. I’m sure I shouldn’t speak now because my mouth feels dry but I feel like if I don’t there’s no way I can get this thought out of my mind. Thank God he can’t see my face because I must look like a poppy judging by how hot it feels. 

“What happens if it touches the uvula?” 

“Well” 

Harry’s hand secretly caresses my arm as he removes his body from behind me and I instantly feel the coldness his body is leaving. It’s still hard to breathe when I dare to look into his eyes and I only feel myself getting wetter when I look into his eyes. The green in them has darkened and he looks almost animalistic. I feel naked under his stare. He smirks smugly. He’s perfectly aware of the effect that had on me and it’s that smile that lets me know he’s doing it on purpose. 

“It’s annoying for the patient.” He smirks. “It’s a very sensitive area, and it can cause a coughing fit.” 

“Or gagging.” Jason adds. 

Both Harry and I look at him and it’s like for the first time in minutes I realize Harry and I are not alone. I widen my eyes at my friend’s intrusion as if I already know what’s going to say. 

“You’ve never had something on your mouth touching your uvula, Indie?” Jason asks faking innocence. 

I feel my cheeks burning and I know I’m blushing like I just ran a marathon when Harry laughs out loud at Jason’s hint. I’m going to kill him. 

“And, excuse me, Harry, can I ask a question?” Mario to the rescue. God bless her. 

“Of course.” He’s still chuckling as he tries to go back to professional doctor-teacher Harry. 

“We have different measures of guedel cannulas, right? Do we use them depending on the age or sex or what?” 

I give Marie a thank you glance and I know she gets it despite she’s casually smiling at Harry. I know she knows the answer to that question, she’s by far the smartest of us four, but she asked that in an attempt to save me. 

“Right.” Harry lifts his hips from the desk he had been leaning on and takes the cannula out of the dummy placing it next to the dummy’s jaw. “It obviously depends on the age and the sex but we still have differences between same age same sex people so what we do is we grab the one that’s originally thought for let’s say a medium age woman and then you just place it on their jaw. If it reaches from the corner of their mouth to the temporomandibular joint, then it is the right size.” 

Peter warns both Harry and Mario than the hour has gone by and I stand next to Jason hoping he can feel how much I want to strangle him to death as Harry starts picking up his tools, both Marie and Ollie helping him while I just stand there and look at him as if I have never seen a man before. I can’t believe he just did that at all, much less in front of my classmates. He’s never touched me like that before. 

“Let me see, Indie” Jason starts “let’s measure your throat.” 

I death glare at him and take a glimpse of Harry biting back a smile from the corner of my eyes. 

“Woah, this is too small for her, isn’t it Harry?” 

I’m going to kill him. 

Harry looks up and gives yet another step closer to me, grabbing the cannula from Jason’s hand and holding it next to me jaw. I feel his thumb resting on my cheek bone though, the tip of his index finger resting on the spot right underneath my ear. 

“It is a little small for her, yeah.” He states. “I reckon I could get it on her throat though.” 

My eyes widen and I can’t help but laugh. I can’t believe he just said that. All three of us start laughing and as he leaves, he stands very close to me, the closest he’s ever been before he winks so that only I can see it and then walks away laughing. 

Ollie’s jaw is almost touching the floor. 

“I think I’m wet. Can’t imagine how you are.” 

“Ollie!” 

A couple hours later I’m making my way towards the surgery rooms not sure if my knees are going to be able to support my weight if Harry is going to be as playful on the practice as he was during the seminar. We both know there’s really no need for me to have every practice with him but after I looked for him on my second day and he looked for me on my third, it’s like we silently agreed he was my new mentor and I was his only student. 

He’s already on the surgery room chatting with the nurses as I make my way inside but he stops his chatting and grins at me as I approach him. 

“Hey there, Sorry.” He grins. “Long time no see.” 

I shake my head and roll my eyes before I tie my surgical mask at the back of my head. I really like today’s nurse, Lidia, and between that and the fact that  Harry’s playful mood doesn’t seem to have changed, I smile behind my mask. 

“So Lidia” I start as I watch Harry organize every bolus he might need on his trolley “do you know that Harry has given us a seminar today?” 

“Really?” She giggles, she’s so cute. “And how did he do?”

“Yeah, Sorry, how did I do?” 

“He did fine.” I confess. 

His green eyes look into mine with an amused glimpse on them and even though I can’t see his smile, I feel it in my belly. 

“I did fine, eh?” He smiles. “Did you hear that Danny? I’m a good teacher.” 

My good mood only gets better when I see our surgeon today is going to be professor Gibbins. I love him. We all do and it’s quite clear he likes me and my friends specially. 

“You really are.” I tell him. “Not just because of today. I’ve learnt a lot on practice with you.” 

We’ve spent enough hours together with our mouths and cheeks covered with the mask for me to be able to read his eyes and I know his cheeks are probably pink now and his lips are probably curved into a shy smile. He’s not great at taking compliments. I’ve noticed that. I don’t fail to notice professor Gibbins’ amused smile before he ties his surgical mask behind his head as well.  

“Yes! It’s so great you’re here, Indigo” professor Gibbins smiles “because today it’s only me operating so you’re going to be my assistant.” 

“What?” Harry chips in. “No, no, you can’t take Sorry away. She’s mine.” 

I don’t know if he notices the way my eyes set on him. But I already feel my pussy clenching. Dear Lord this surgical gowns are literally made of paper. I’m afraid I might squirt or make a puddle at my feet. 

“Come on, Styles. You barely have to do anything today. Let her decide. What do you think Lidia?” 

Lidia giggles at their playful banter. 

“Yeah, she should be able to choose.” 

“She wants to be a surgeon anyway.” Professor Gibbins shruggs. 

“She likes Anesthesia too. She told me last week.” 

He remembers. 

“Well, what do you want to do? Indigo?” 

By the time they actually ask me I’m already disinfecting my hands so I can put on the sterilized gloves and get near the sterilized area. Professor Gibbins laughs out loud before he throws both arms up in the air in celebration. 

I spend the rest of the afternoon assisting professor Gibbins so I can’t take the grin off my face. Even though most of the time it’s just them explaining things to me or asking me questions, they also get some time to gossip when we’re doing something too mecanical. It’s funny how then men have the nerve to say gossip is something typical of women. 

When we’re done I walk to the female changing room and get back on my clothes from this morning. Hight waist jeans and a woolen crop top. I always wear hight waist jeans. I love them. It took me years to learn to accept my body but finding hight waist pants and skirts helped a lot because the problem with my body is my hips are wide but I do have a keen waist so this is the outfit that flatters me the most. I do a lot of sport too so my legs and buttocks are muscly but if I don’t mark my waist when I dress, I guess I’d look fat. I mean, I’m by no means as slender as Ollie or Marie, I don’t think their trousers would fit me like they fit them but I’m happy with my body now. It took me long enough. 

When I open the door, so does Harry, and I feel his eyes roaming my body up and down. I can’t even pretend I care because it actually excites me, as everything he does, and my eyes do the same with his anyway. I actually feel my breath catch in my throat as I take in the way he looks with casual clothes on. He looks incredible on a beige woolen sweater and dark blue jeans. 

“First time we finish at the same time.” 

The way he chuckles after saying that has me blushing so I just smile at him and start walking to get out of here before he has time to make me blush again. I glance at my phone screen and see more than 50 messages on the Golden Girls group. I hope they’ve decided where we’re going out tonight. I feel Harry walking right behind me before he speaks. 

“Do you have plans tonight?” 

His questions takes me off guard. There’s no way he’s asking me out but is he? I breathe before I say anything stupid to embarrass myself. I want to say no, just to see what he’d do because I swear if he asks me out I might faint. I look over at him and take the way he looks in again. There’s no way he’s asking me out. 

“I do, yeah.” 

“Took you so long to answer.” He chuckles. “That’s good. It’s a friday, after all.” 

“Do you?” 

For a second I regret asking him because the possibility that he might have a date and the thought of him having dinner or kissing a woman makes me furious or sad. Probably both. 

“Yeah.” 

I nod. Why did it get so awkward all of a sudden? 

“Mm, Indigo” 

It might be the first time he calls me by my name and I didn’t think I’d like it that much. At this point, I think I’d like any name he’d call me. It’s about the way it sounds and the fact that it’s him talking to me. 

“Yeah?” 

His eyes move up to my eyes. I can’t believe he was looking at my breasts? I have to bite back a smile. 

“Do you want a ride?” 

“What?” 

His cheeks tinged pink. 

“I....” He scratches the back of his neck. Is he nervous? “I have my car here and I’m going home so I can drop you off, if you want. That’s if you want, obviously.” 

HARRY’S POV 

I shouldn’t have offered. See? This is exactly what I didn’t want- for her to feel forced to say yes to me because I’m her mentor, even though I’m not. How can I be so nervous? He’s six years younger than me for the love of God. 

“Thank you very much.” She smiles sheepishly. “That’s very nice of you, but I don’t want to be a bother.” 

“It’s no bother.” 

What was that? Why do I insist? She’s just politely saying no, Harry, let it be. 

“Are you sure?” 

I grin. That’s a yes. I know that face. It’s stupid that I get so excited that she said yes to a ride home. It’s not like she said yes to a date or like she gave me her phone number. I think I’m suffering some sort of regression back to my teenage years or something. 

I don’t know what got inside me today. I think it was just fucking Danny’s words this morning or those fucking jeans she wears or the thong I know she’s wearing for those jeans are so tight otherwise I’d see the elastic of her underwear. My blood is leaving my brain again. 

The lift door closes after us and I feel a lump of nerves in my throat. This is ridiculous but I mean we’re in a fucking hospital, what are the chances that the two of us end up alone on the lift? Normally I go down with at least three other people. The thought of pressing the stop button and then pressing her against the wall and kiss her is like a parasite on my brain. Think about cars, think about custard. 

“Hey, Harry” She starts- thank God- please distract me. “I wanted to apologize for my friends’ behaviour today at the seminary.” She bites her bottom lip and it seems to have a straight line with my dick. “They’re...” She shuts her eyes and places a hand on her forehead. “I don’t even have words to excuse them.” 

“I think they’re funny.” I give her a smile and she furrows her eyebrows like I like. “And your friend Ollie” I chuckle at the way her face contours on embarrassment “you’re right, she’s something else.” 

She chuckles and shakes her head. She’s normally not so quiet so I start to worry I might have crossed a line. She did apologize for her friends’ behaviour, maybe I should apologize too? 

“You did pretty good today at the seminar by the way.” I tell her instead because that is true. 

“So did you.” She smiles at me. She’s even prettier under the lights of the lift. “I was very nervous.” 

“You were?” I fake innoncence and she rolls her eyes and pushes my arm playfully. 

She blushes the second she realized she has touched me. 

“Sorry.” 

“What for?” I grin at her. 

I wish she’d touch me all the time. Man, I need to jerk off when I get home. I can tell she’s waiting for me to guide our way towards my car. I don’t know why it’s so exciting for me to take her home but somehow having her in my car makes me nervous and excited like a kid before his first day of school. 

I shouldn’t be so smug but I feel my ego bursting when I see her face as she sees my car. I take it most of her friends have old cars like I used to have when I was studying and that makes me feel more confident too. I open the passenger door of my Range Rover and she gets in with a shy smile. 

I won’t even try to stop grinning like an idiot because there’s no use. I feel like I won the lottery as I sit on the drivers’ seat and have a glance at her. She looks so fucking good on my car. I feel my dick gaining protagonism and I swear I’ve never gotten turned on just by seeing a woman sitting on my car but she really does something to me. 

“Where to, miss Sorry?” 

She smiles and I melt. She tells me her address and I start the engine. He lives fucking far away from the hospital, poor thing. What time does she normally wake up? And what time does she go to bed? And what does she normally wear to sleep? Fuck, I’m doing it again. 

“And what are you doing tonight?” 

“Tonight we celebrate the creation of our group.” She grins. 

“Which group?” 

“You know, Jason, Marie, Ollie and me.” 

“Oh, The Golden Girls.” 

“Exactly. So today we go crazy.” 

She’s not telling me where they’re going so I won’t ask but the thought of bumping into her is enough to make my mind explode. I bet she looks fucking sexy when she goes out. I picture her with make up, with lipstick on... How her lips must feel against mine... And then I imagine my dick stained with her lipstick. I need a shower. 

INDIE’S POV 

We jump and dance to The Nights by Avicii as if we will never be able to dance again in years. The whole dance floor is turning around myself at this point and I don’t even know whether it is because of my jumping, the alcohol or if the club is actually turning around and around. 

We don’t usually go out to The Chain, because it’s really hard to get in and very expensive inside but every now and then Jason actually accepts his father’s offer and he gets us in. 

Since we met in uni, all we knew about our pasts is what we’ve told and even if some of us took longer than other to open up about it, I’d say at this point we pretty much know everything about eachother. Jason’s parents got a divorce when he was twelve years old. Her father had a lover, someone whom he had been cheating on his wife with for years and that completely broke Jason’s mum’s heart. He lives with her and he’s never quite forgotten his dad for that. Both his parents are lawyers and the divorce was quite nasty, especially for a twelve years old boy who at the time was struggling with finding out about his own sexuality. They were messy years in his life and I wish I had been there for him then. I know Marie and Ollie wish the same thing too. 

I sing along with Marie and I love seeing her like this. She’s by far the most introverted and responsible of us four, because Ollie and Jason are something else, and I’m pretty good with people too; but my Marie, she’s more insecure and shy. It really makes no sense to me because she truly is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Her new haircut suits her so great too, with her short black waves wrapping up her rounded face. She’s shinning on her golden sequin top as she lifts her hands above her head and lets go. I wish she always looked so carefree. 

Ollie comes back with our third drink and screams so the four of us can hear her over the loud music. I see some men looking at her up and down and I shake my head. All these 30-years-old really think they might have something to do with my 21 years old friend. 

“Guys!” She screams. “You won’t believe who’s at the bar!” 

“Please tell me it’s Ryan Gosling.” Jason brings his hands close to his chest and pretends to pray. 

“Better.” 

Jason then turns his neck and glares at Ollie. You don’t joke about Ryan Gosling. 

“I was ordering and then I recognize a male’s voice and I was like: NO WAY!” 

“Okay, just say it, geez!” Marie insists. 

I turn my head to the bar and there I see him. Being tall has this kind of advantages. Harry raises his glass from his spot at the bar and grants me with his sexy smile. 

“Professor Gibbins, doctor Harry Styles and Mario!” 

[writings-of-the-unkown]

Transfers Suck, But When I’m With You, Distance Doesn’t Matter

request status: yes

pairing:  Alex Morgan x Reader

Y/N- your name

Y/L- your last name

Italics are inner thoughts

Bold are text messages 

Warning: gay, lots of ANGST (sorry not sorry :|)

 Words:  1817

A/N: THIS IS FICTION ALL MISTAKES ARE MINE

“Listen, you’re either gonna hate or you’ll love me” my agent said as soon as I picked up my phone.

“What do you need Brad? It’s 4a.m. here and I don’t have time for this” I said with sleep filled voice.

“You’re being loaned out. It’s still up in the air but it’s looking like you’re headed to Arsenal” Brad sounded cheerful about this.

My brain didn’t fully register what he had told me because I was half asleep. I felt my girlfriend rolling in to me. I fell back asleep in her arms. 

My alarm went off about three hours later. I fought my way out of Alex’s death grip and got ready for the day. I checked my phone and saw a text from Brad.

It’s official! Pack your bags, you’re headed of Arsenal!!

Oh shit. That’s when the events from this morning came back to me. I was being loaned and it might end up being permanent. How the hell was I going to tell Alex?

Even though we have been dating for over a year, she still freaks out when one of us is up for a trade or transfer. The one time that sticks out in my mind is when Orlando was first becoming a team. She was chosen to head down there and immediately had a breakdown. She thought our relationship wouldn’t stand the distance as I was still in Portland. 

I was making breakfast for both of us when Alex came up behind me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and laid her head on my shoulder.

“Morning sunshine, how did you sleep?” She punctuated with a quick peck on my check.

“Good, Alex honey I have something to tell you” I whispered the last part.

“What is it? Baby you’re scaring me” she pulled me around so that I was facing her.

“So here’s the thing. Brad called this morning and I—” I got cut off by the phone ringing.

She leaned over and picked it up.

“Hello...yes she is right here. Hold on one second” Alex said into the phone. She held it out to me, “it’s for you. Something about needing to stay after practice for something” 

I grabbed it and held it between my shoulder and ear, that way I could continue to make breakfast for us.

“Yellow...yeah I can stay after…uh sure I’m working on telling them...okay.. yup see you there...uhuh…bye” I hung up.

I finished making Alex’s omelet and my scrambled eggs with cheese. She was sitting at our island on her phone. 

I set her omelet down in front of her and brought her out of the trance her phone had placed her in with a kiss. 

After breakfast, we went upstairs to get ready for practice. I threw on shorts and a tank top and braided my hair. Alex wore the same as me and had me braid her hair while putting it in a ponytail so she could use her pink prewrap as usual.

We arrived at practice and we met up with the team. We dropped our stuff on the sidelines and lined up with the rest of the team to start warmups. After we split up into groups by position. I was will Ali and our other defenders.

I was so occupied by my thoughts of the press conference that seemed like practice flew by. The coaching staff lead me to the conference room where the media was going to meet me. 

I walked through the oak double doors scanned the room for any familiar face. Thankfully Brad was there impatiently waiting for me. I sat in the chair on the stage behind the microphone with my name on it. 

The media began to ask all sorts of questions.

“What’s going on?”

“Are you retiring?”

“Is there a major health scare?”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. And Brad began to speak.

“Thank you all for coming. To be clear Y/N is not retiring or ill” he glance towards me and smiled. “I’ll let her tell you what’s going on”. 

Breathe. Don’t forget to breathe. 

“I have been loaned out to Arsenal. I will be finishing up the season over seas” I said as confidently as I possibly could given that I hadn’t told Alex yet. 

Brad pointed to a male reporter in the front left, to ask the first question.

“Is there trouble in paradise with fellow teammate, and your partner might I add, Alex Morgan?” Of course the pompous piece of ass would ask that.

“No there is not. Alex and I are going perfectly. I will give out no further details on that subject” I said very defensively.

I spotted Alex in the back corner by the doors. She just shook her head as she stormed out of the room.

“Alex wait! Alex!!” I ran after her. 

I figured Brad could hold down the fort in there. The only thing I cared about was getting to Alex and explaining. When I finally found her, she was sitting in her practice gear and she managed to squeeze herself into a corner with her knees pulled up to her chest. She had tears streaming down her face.

I reached out to put my hand on her shoulder but she swatted me away.

“How could you not tell me? I thought we had something special, but obviously I was wrong” she whispered.

“Alex, honey, I was going to tell you. I found out this morning and that’s what the phone call was about. I didn’t know how to tell you” I was squatting in front of her.

She looked at me with hatred in her eyes. “If you can’t trust me with this then I don’t think we can be together anymore” she was looking at the floor.

“Wait are you serious?” I questioned. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Yes. I want your stuff out by Monday” she demanded. 

She got to her feet and shuffled away. I was left standing there like an idiot, I didn’t realize that I started to cry until I tasted salt.

I started to walk back to Alex’s house. I was absorbed in my own thoughts that I hadn’t realized that I was being followed. I was at Alex’s when I turned around and saw Sydney Leroux. She got out of her car and made her way to me.

“I saw the news. I assume that you need a place to stay before you head over seas, Dom is cool with you staying for a few days” she offered.

“Thanks Syd, that means a lot. Seriously” I offered her a sad smile.

I let her in the house and we started to gather my things. 

Hey just checking in on you. FYI your flight is tomorrow at 5 a.m. I read Brad’s text what felt like a million times.

I forwarded the text to Syd so that she wouldn’t be surprised. She sent back that she’d drive me to the airport. 

We headed back to her house and Cassius met me at the door, followed by Dom. 

“Thanks Dom, this means a lot” I said as wrapped my arms around him.

“Always. We’ve got your back” He whispered.

Cassius grabbed my hand and pulled me into their guest room. I laid down on the bed and Cassius jumped up on to me. We were laughing. I felt his breathing level out and I knew he was asleep. Soon after I joined him in sleep.

I woke to the sound of my phone buzzing out of control. That was my que to get up and ready to fly overseas. Dom was up and ready to drive me to the airport. 

I breezed through security and was boarded fairly quickly. I fell asleep as soon as my butt hit the chair.

I was jolted awake by the plane hitting the tarmac. 

I was greeted after I got off the plane, by none other than, Heather. 

“Kid, welcome to the other side of the pond” she joked as she ruffled my hair.

“Thanks HAO. I needed that” she threw her arm around my shoulders. 

We picked up my baggage from the baggage claim. 

Somehow after a few weeks, I fell into some sort of routine. Wake up, eat breakfast, go to practice, go to lunch, practice again, head home, grab a granola bar eat it while I shower, think of Alex, cry myself to sleep, repeat.

One day at practice, I overheard HAO saying that the U.S. Women’s National Team was going to share our practice fields. My anxiety skyrocketed. What if I see Alex? I can’t see her again. I’m not ready…. my thoughts were going a million miles per hour. My breath was quicking, I started to zone out. Something smacked against my back. 

“You okay, Kid?” Heather pulled me out of my trance.

“Yeah-yeah. I’m good” I said it slowly. Trying to not only convince her but also myself.

Practice went on until the National team showed up. Heather went to talk to some of the girls while I started to head back to the locker room. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking, until I ran straight into someone.

“Y/N, I-I-“ I looked right into Alex’s eyes.

“I’ll just get out of your way” I stammered.

I was about halfway down the hallway when Alex called out to me.

“Y/N, wait,” I was not going to turn around to face her, but I did stop walking. “Y/N, I made a mistake. I realized how much I rely on you,” She somehow was facing me. I kept my eyes on the floor. “You are the love of my life. I have seen what my life is like without you in it and I never want to experience that again” she lifted my head up so I was making eye contact. “Please, please, will you give me a second chance?” She finished.

“Al, I’ll think about it. Please, all I ask is that you give me a chance to think” I looked back to the floor as I made my way to the locker room.

My thoughts were on anything but giving Alex a second chance. I grabbed my longboard, when I heard the door slam shut.

“Y/N wait. Have you made a decision? I just need to know” Alex had tears filling her eyes.

“I need more time. Is your number still the same as it was a month ago?” she nodded. “Okay, I’ll text you later with my answer”.

I dropped my board and skated away. By the time I got back to my apartment, I had reached a conclusion. I reached into my bag and pulled out my phone. I scrolled through my contacts until I found Alex’s number.

I’m in❤️ .

[papipopsicle]

AFTERTASTE PART FOUR

Pairing: Archie Andrews X Short!Reader

Genre: fluff, smut

Summary: In which two best friends since childhood test whether friendship and can co-exist without causing conflict. Including my OC's Flick & Cherry, a lesbian couple and best friends of Y/N. Set Pre-Veronica.

Song: Feeling Good by Sofi Tukker

Warnings: Dom!Archie, Oral (fem receiving), swearing (probably)

Words: 3K

MASTERLIST

feedback is always appreciated

!PING!

Y/N giggled as soon as she saw the picture Archie had posted, it had been taken a few hours ago at lunch. She hadn't even realised he had taken one, off guard beaming up at Moose as he told the group how the Andrews boy had face planted the turf during football practice. The caption read ‘when you're having a lousy day, i'll try my best to make you smile like an idiot’ and her face lit up at the kind gesture.

Today had been utter shit; Michelangelo had gotten into a fight with one of the neighbourhood cats and lost very badly, Josie picked a fight for no reason in Maths and called her a ‘brain dead bimbo’ in front of everyone, and to top it off she'd overheard Chuck sharing very private, personal details with his friends like they were nothing.

She felt miserable and hopeless, wanting nothing more than for this day to be over already. While the boy wasn't there with her when any of these events happened, he knew as soon as he saw her saddened expression that it was his duty to turn her frown upside down. After an hour of cheesy jokes bad enough to make her father proud, Y/N felt a little bit lighter.

Now, the two sixteen year olds were being blackmailed into making dinner for themselves, Y/N's family and of course Fred too. It wasn't uncommon for this to happen though, since Y/S followed in her mother's footsteps when it came to cooking abilities, and they felt bad for always making Y/D cook. So the blonde had rolled up the sleeves of her grey sweatshirt and pulled her hair into a messy bun, while Archie gathered all the ingredients for the perfect steak dinner.

"Okay," Y/N huffed out, putting her arms up and looking over the boy's broad shoulders to see the recipe, "what's the first step, Nigella?"

Two frustrating and hilariously messy hours later, the two teens were serving their masterpieces. Y/N showered while waiting for the steak to cook, her hair now in damp ringlets as she wore a black concert t-shirt and a burgundy pair of gym shorts.

She carefully placed the piping hot plates in her mother and sisters respective places, returning for her own and Archie's as the boy brought out ones for their fathers. Y/D and Fred sat at the heads of the table, with Y/S and Y/M on one side and Archie and Y/N on the other. It had been that way since the very beginning, the teen's chairs always closer than necessary.

The radio played hits from the eighties and nineties in the background; the atmosphere warm and cozy as the group began tucking into their gourmet meals happily. Conversation flowed easily as usual, soft smiles mirrored around the room in the amicable scene.

"How's school been today?" Y/D asked casually as he piled food onto his fork dangerously high, it disappearing into his mouth seconds later.

"Shit." Y/N answered with a shrug and a wry smile as she copied her dad's actions and stuffed her face. Her eyes closed for a moment to fully appreciate the perfection of her cooking, but in that moment she missed the sad look the redhead threw her way. Everyone at the table was aware her high school experience wasn't rose tinted, and she was never able to lie to her family about it.

"McCoy's girl again?" Y/S asked defensively, rolling her eyes in annoyance as she even brought up said name.

"It's no biggie, honestly. She's just holding a grudge against me for something that literally happened over a year ago. She'll have to let go of it sooner or later." The y/h/c girl ended the conversation, continuing to fill her mouth with copious amounts of food. While her parents had moved on to talk about another subject, Archie kept his eye on her and she knew it.

Y/N didn't hate being pitted per se, but she couldn't stand to be watched by loving eyes when the person those eyes belong to wishes to fix her problems for her. Knowing that's what his mind was preoccupied with, the girl turned to Archie sharply and began chewing with her mouth wide open, sticking her tongue out for emphasis.

The redhead gagged and couldn't stop himself from snorting in laughter and Y/N took this as her queue to close her mouth. Not truly phased by the grotesque sight, Archie returned it for just a second, leaving them both giggling. Finishing the mouthful, she bumped shoulders with the boy, keeping her head resting there for a few moments as she spoke with a grin, "You've already done enough, stop making my issues yours. We do everything together anyway, leave me this little slither of sardonic sanity, okay?"

She sat up straight again and sent Fred a wink upon finding his knowing grin slung in their direction. Looking around the table, three other faces have the exact same looks, and Y/N only rolled her eyes, "Can we have just one family dinner without planning our wedding? For all you guys know we could both be gay and just use each other for style advice."

Y/D scoffed, eyeing up his daughter with amusement, "You're not gay."

"What?!" The blonde's cutlery clanged against her plate as she threw her arms up in exasperation, "I could be!"

Y/M cackled her usual laugh and rolled her eyes, chiming in, "Darling, have you seen your wardrobe?"

"Cherry and I share clothes!" Y/N defended herself, only halfheartedly as she knew the conversation was completely false, but still stood her ground.

"Yeah, well, she has a blue-haired girlfriend and you only share dresses when you're going out because you're the same size. I'm pretty sure she'd rather be dead than wear a pair of your heels." Y/S interjected and received her sister's glare with a smug grin.

Archie silently ate his food, but soon his best friend turned to him, "I could be bi, right? Like Elizabeth Olsen and Sebastian Stan both own my life."

"You can be whatever you want to be, Tiger." Taking a sip of his drink, the boy continued, "But, to be fair, have you seen The Bronze? Like if there's someone I'd turn for, it'd be Sebastian Stan."

"See!" Y/N raised her arms in the way Will Smith had when showing the world his beautiful wife, "This is why he's my best friend!"

They high-fived with matching grins and the bubbly atmosphere carried on until Fred left for the night, Archie staying over in lieu of helping with unfinished homework. After washing up, the three teenagers headed up to bed.

But before the elder Y/L/N daughter fully entered her room, she swung back on the doorframe and locked eyes with her younger sister in a deadpan manner, "I haven't slept properly in three days, please have the decency to wait until I'm asleep before you start boning, thanks."

Y/N swivelled in the direction of her room, cheeks dusted pink at the insinuation. She closed her curtains and headed straight for bed, exhausted by everything the day forced upon her shoulders. Finding her phone, she sent a round of goodnight streaks and scrolled through Instagram before the bed dipped and a tuft of red hair came into view.

"It's only just gone ten, you lightweight." He bumped her shoulder with his bare one, soon copying her actions with his own phone but not finding anything nearly as interesting.

"Well, I fancy wasting time on my phone instead of doing anything productive, problem?" The blonde hummed, not turning away from the device holding her attention. A few moments of silence and mindless scrolling passed before Y/N's phone was ripped from her grasp and set down on the bedside table.

"Yeah, I do have a problem with that, Tiger." Archie grinned at her clueless expression, climbing on top of her, either elbow caging her face in his hold. A light pressure appeared between her thighs with a small twitch, forcing a giggle from the girls lips. She hooked her thighs around his waist and linked her feet together, pulling his entire being closer to her own.

"Oh," Y/N forgot all about whatever had been on her phone screen moments ago, hands now brushing through Archie's fiery locks, "and what would that be."

The boy dipped his head without warning, lightly pushing her jaw to the left to expose her soft neck. His tongue slowly ran from her collar bone to the bottom of her ear, kissing small pecks along her jawline until their lips met. Y/N smiled into the kiss, lifting herself up while pulling his torso closer into her own. Her hips moved on their own accord, needing more friction to scratch an itch only his mouth could fix.

Archie broke the kiss, looking down at the petite girl with lustful eyes as his hand found her neck once more, "There's so many better ways for us to waste time than on our phones. But I'm going to need you to stay quiet for me, Tiger. Can you do that for me?"

As the words left his lips, his index finger lifted from her neck and pressed against her own. Y/N couldn't help licking a stripe down the back of it, taking the digit into her mouth and letting it drop with a popping sound. She nodded her head in agreement with an innocent smile and wide expectant eyes.

Archie watched her for a moment in awe, giving her throat a small squeeze before moving down her body. He lifted her ‘All Time Low’ t shirt up, planting wet kisses from her bra line to the waistband of her lycra shorts.

“You okay?” The boys soft voice sounded through the room, any dominance dropped from his tone but ready to be picked up if he got the right answer. Y/N sat up, planting each hand on either side of his face and pressed her lips to his nose lightly.

She grinned down at him, “I’m sure.” Her excited tone couldn’t be missed, and without hesitation she hooked her fingers into the shorts and pulled them away from her velvety skin, flinging them to the floor carelessly. Archie felt another grin filled kiss skim his forehead, a small hand carding through his hair as the girl relaxed back into the plush bedding.

Y/N closed her eyes in content as hot breath traced her thighs, up and down in a slow rhythm, leaving goosebumps of anticipation in its wake. Her hips rutted upwards needing some kind of contact, but Archie’s firm hand pushed her back into the mattress and held her in place. He settled with his legs hanging off the edge of the double bed, pushing her legs to rest open. The girl resisted the urge to squeeze her legs together, desire overcoming her body but submission overpowering her mind.

Archie’s lips left trails down her silky thighs, plotting temporary marks by nipping and sucking at the delicate skin. He enjoyed feeling her squirm under his touch, showing how much she needed his touch. This was more than just helping each other get off, there was a raw urgency and need within them for only one another. He licked around the edge of her pink thong, another unintentional jut from her hips pushing him closer to her heat as a whine escaped her lips.

The redhead’s hand moved from her stomach to her neck while he forced her to look down at him, “No noise, kitten. Okay?” He warned and Y/N’s bottom lip curled under her teeth as she sent him another nod. With that, her underwear, if it could be even called that, was pulled from her body and joined her shorts on the cool wooden floor moments later.

Archie carried on teasing the girl, licking down her inner thighs and getting dangerously close to what her body was pleading for, but he enjoyed watching her struggle to stay silent and it was far too easy to bring her to the edge by barely doing anything.

“Please.” Y/N’s voice begged with a shaky moan she’d tried so hard to keep in. The boy smirked up at her before giving her exactly what she wanted, feeling her fingers tighten in his hair as he latched onto her clit. But as soon as the pleasure started, it ceased once more.

“You want me to carry on, little girl?” Archie asked in a low tone, watching his best friend panting in want from the smallest of actions. “Want me to make you feel good?”

“Yes, please, Arch. Please.” The girl nodded again, never needing a release so badly in her life before.

Archie’s tongue lapped small circles around the bundle of nerves, pausing again to elicit a small noise of bliss, “I need you to stay quiet for me though, Tiger. Don’t want Y/S finding out what a slut her little sister is.”

In any other circumstance, Y/N would slap someone for calling her something like that, and Archie would never let the word slip from his lips. But in this moment, with his tongue skilfully taunting her clit and a finger dipping inside her wet pussy, it sent a wave of pleasure and praise through her entire body.

He was her drug, one touch and Y/N was completely intoxicated, whatever he wanted is what she wanted and there wasn’t a single thing she would say no to.

It didn’t take long for Y/N to reach the edge of release, with Archie’s fingers pulsing inside her while switching from licking at her clit and sucking on it with his tongue swirling her into a trance of ecstasy. He wanted to play with her more, keep her tilting on the edge until she couldn’t handle it any longer.

But Y/N had a difficult day, he could tease her any time he wanted, for now he just wanted to give her one reason for this day to be good. With that, he tactfully curled his fingers bringing them in and out of her hot core, not stopping his mouth from all but assaulting her over stimulated clit. Her hips buckled once again and this time Archie didn’t stop her, then they began rutting back and forth riding his face until her body couldn’t take any more

“Oh god.” Y/N whined in a hushed tone, her body convulsing in euphoria she finally toppled over the edge of her climax. Archie pressed a final kiss to her clit, resting his head on her spread thighs for a few moments as they both caught their breath.

The girl giggled as Archie appeared back at her side, pressing her lips to his not caring about the taste of her lingering in the air.

“You okay?” He whispered, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her under the duvet with him. Her head rest in the crook of his neck, leg over is stomach and hand lightly tracing patterns over his muscular chest.

“More than okay, pretty boy.” Y/N hummed into the dark room with a bright smile adoring her features. “Arch?”

He mumbled an agreeable response, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Archie’s hand found her thigh and he gave it a small squeeze, keeping his hand there to hold her close.

“Can we play a game?” The girl sounded apprehensive yet excited with her words.

She felt him nod, “What kind of game do you want to play, Tiger?”

Y/N couldn’t help but smirk at her idea as the words left her lips, “I’m proposing a little bet.

Clearly were both attracted to each other, and it ends there, yes? Nothing romantic, just two horny best friends who need an outlet. So, why don't we have a little fun with this? We tease the other to breaking point, bring them to their fucking knees begging for it, and the first one to cave, loses. Nothings off limits, but you can't kiss the other, otherwise you lose."

At this, Archie lifted his head wearing a matching smirk, though it couldn’t be seen as the street lamp sending orange hues into the bedroom only lit up their silhouettes, "What does the winner get?"

"Whatever the fuck they want.” Y/N’s hand made its way to the boy’s neck and she tilted her head upwards to whisper into his ear, “And, when I win the first thing I'm going to have you do is eat me out again."

The boy chuckled dryly and shook his head, "Tiger, I'll be doing that when I win anyway."

Y/N giggled, tempted to throw the bet immediately if the consequence was his head between her legs once more. “Game on, Andrews.”

Archie couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of this situation, though he had to admit he couldn’t wait to see what his best friend would do to try and make him lose.

“Okay little girl, it’s time to sleep I think.” His voice felt more authoritative this time, and Y/N loved that about him, he wasn’t afraid to tell her what to do.

“Goodnight, Arch.” The girl said with a smile in her tone, anxious to see what Archie would do to her over the coming weeks. She felt his head shake once more, knowing a grin was etched into his lips. Y/N rolled onto her side, the boy’s arm tightly wrapped around her still as she drifted off into a fairytale land where this was all real. Not just two friends messing around.

PART FIVE

[snow-pitch-grimm]

Neat

Summary:   "And then I said 'neat'! Neat! Nobody says neat anymore!"

                                                                                                   - Baz to Dev

I don’t think this counts as a vine meme reference per se but this scenario wouldn’t leave my head so you guys get to read it.

XXX

BAZ

This is the fifth time Simon had sighed out loud, and it's getting a bit on my nerves. I think he's trying to study for something, but it doesn't seem like he's getting anywhere.

When he had first sat down, I had been glad for the opportunity to stare at him without him noticing.

(Is it creepy? Yes. Do I care? No)

So I had picked up a book, placed myself on my bed, so I had the perfect view of Simon's freckle filled face. The sun was shining a little through the window, causing him to look like an angel bathed in light. His blue eyes looked bluer than usual, and his bronze curls kept falling in his hair.

God, I wanted to run my hand through his curls.

However, the reverie had broken when he had tilted his head back and sighed loudly. And then he had done it again. And again. And again.

When he sighs for the sixth time, I get up from my bed and sit up on my desk, leaning in close to him.

"What wrong with you, Snow?"

He glares up at me.

"What do you want, Baz?"

"Just wondering what's gotten you knickers in a twist. All this huffing of yours is distracting me from my reading,"

He snorts, "Well, sorry your Majesty,"

I raise my eyebrows at him.

He sighs again but answers my question, "The maths test tomorrow. I'm going to fail it. I don't understand anything,"

I frown, "Isn't that the one thing you're usually good at?"

"Well, yeah," he says sighing again, "But apparently not this time,"

I take a long look at him, his drooping shoulders, sad eyes and pouty lips and come to a decision.

"I can't believe I'm even considering this," I say, "But if you want, I can help you study,"

He looks like me as if I've gone insane. Maybe I have. Must be those blue eyes.

"Seriously? You don't even like me,"

Oh, Snow. If you only knew.

"As I said, your sighing is bothering me. Do you want my help or not?"

Simon tilts his head, and it's a testament to how much I'm obsessed with him that I know exactly what he's thinking.

He's considering the costs and benefits of taking my help. At one hand, I might hold this over him (I won't, but he thinks I would). On the other hand, he's here on scholarship and can't risk even a minor slip up. The consideration takes about twenty seconds, and he decides...

"Fine. You can help. But only because I really need it. I still think you're a posh asshole,"

A part of me is thrilled. Another part of me stings. I ignore both and tell Simon to show me what's wrong.

It takes a couple of hours and some extensive groaning from Snow, but in the end, he seems to understand most of the concepts, and if the practice-test I gave him is anything to go by, he'll get a pretty good grade too.

When I show him the practice-test grade, he instantly lights up and grins at me. (Be still my heart)

"Oh my god! Thank you so much, Baz. God, I'm so happy I could kiss you!"

I'm so shocked that I can only laugh and squeak out, "Neat,"

Then I grab my shoes, make an excuse and book it out of there.

xxx

"And then I said 'neat'! Neat! Nobody says neat anymore!"

My cousin looked up from his notes and grinned at me, "Aw come on, Baz, don't beat yourself up. Remember what I said when Niall told me he fancied me?

I think back to a year ago and grin, "Didn't you thank him?"

Dev sighs dramatically and looks at the ceiling, "I thanked him,"

"We're disasters aren't we, Dev?"

Dev looks at me, and we stare at each other for a few moments before bursting into giggles.

"Do you think he'll bring it up?" I ask him once we've calmed down a little.

"Dunno, Baz," says Dev, grin still on his face, "You're the one who's obsessed with him,"

I lightly smack his shoulder, "Speaking of, Where's your other half?"

"Oh, Niall? His dad's in town for something and took him after class. He would have told you, but his dad surprised him,"

"Good for him, he seemed to be getting a little more homesick,"

The rest of us got homesick too sometimes, but Dev and I had each other and could talk about past holidays and annoying aunts whenever we felt a little off. Poor Niall didn't have that and was also a lot more sensitive.

"Also, knowing Snow, he probably didn't even notice,"

"Well, he's an idiot, but he definitely noticed me running out like the hounds of hell were after me, so what do I do? He's going to think it's his fault. I either tell him I'm obsessed with him or he thinks I'm the sort of bloke with fragile masculinity that can't take a joke about kissing,"

Dev snorts, "Baz, the way you dress, no one thinks that you have fragile masculinity,"

Hmm, I did wear a lot of pink flower patterns.

"Also, just tell him you were surprised and then insult him a few times to distract him. It should work,"

"You think so?"

Dev puts his arm around my shoulders and smiles at me, "Would I lie to you, cousin dearest,"

I sigh and put my head on Dev's shoulder, "What would I do without you?"

It's a dramatic rhetorical question, so Dev doesn't answer.

Instead, he had a suggestion of his own, "Stay here tonight,"

I grin at him, "Like we did in first year?"

Dev nods and smiles, "It'll probably be a tight fit, but we can make it work,"

My cousin gives me some of his clothes to wear, and once Niall comes back, we stay up until late, talking and laughing. I almost forget about the whole Simon Snow thing.

When we finally decide to get some sleep, Dev, who's laying behind me, pokes me in the back.

"What?" I whisper

"You could tell him, you know,"

I don't answer, and he doesn't push, but it still lingers in the back of my head.

xxx

One great thing about being obsessed with your roommate is that you know his schedule pretty well. Simon has rugby practice in the morning. I get to the room after he leaves, and any class we have together, I calculate the time correctly, so I arrive after him and leave before he even has a chance to talk to me.

However, my luck runs out at the end of the day. The plan was to come earlier than Snow and pretend to be asleep. Snow, it seems, for once used his brain, and figured out my plan.

Right now, he's sitting on my bed with my book with a big smile on his face. His blue eyes are on me, and I feel like a deer caught in a headlight.

"Oh, hey, Baz," said Snow, standing up, "Lovely to see you,"

I close the door behind me and try to get everything back on track, "Why are you on my bed Snow. I thought even you were smart enough not mix up our sides,"

The remark is weak. I know it, Simon knows it, but it's all I got.

"Baz," says, Simon and he's very close now. When did he get this close?

"You've avoiding me,"

"No, I haven't," I said, "We'd have to hang out for me to avoid you,"

Snow shakes his head, "Uh uh. You've been avoiding me. Why?"

I'm about to refute again, but Simon shushes me.

"Wait, let me guess?" he says, "You ran out of here after I made the kissing joke. So at first, I thought maybe I'd offended you. But then I remembered you were gay,"

Wait. What? How did he know that?

"You came here drunk with your friends once," he says, probably answering my surprised expression

Ah. That does make sense.

"Anyway, as I was saying. You're gay. So then I thought maybe you just didn't like that I was the one making that joke. But if that were the case, you wouldn't have run away. You would have stayed and insulted me a few times,"

And here I thought I was the only one who knew my roommate well.

"So I figured maybe I was just making a big deal out of nothing. That went out the window when you started avoiding me and don't even deny it. You were avoiding me,"

I click my mouth shut. There's no point, really.

"Do you want to kiss me, Baz?" he says, and there's still a smile on his face, and I feel like crying.

I didn't know he could be so cruel.

"Yes! Yes, okay! I want to kiss you. You don't have to- you-"

Then Simon cups my face, and I nearly choke on my own words. What is going on here?

"Baz," he whispers, "Can I kiss you?"

This is a dream. This has to be a dream. There is absolutely no way this is real life. I pinch myself

Except that Simon is still cupping my face and waiting for me to answer with a patient look on my face.

So I nod my head. What do I have to lose?

Snow leans forward, his lips gently meeting mine. It's everything I imagined- no better then I had imagined.

It starts gently at first, but then his lips become a little more insistent. I don't really know what I'm doing but it feels so bloody good that I just follow his lead. His hand slips from my face to the back of my neck, and I pull hs closed by the waist. His other hand is rubbing my stomach, and I feel like I've died and gone to heaven.

Simon pulls away a little, and I whine at the loss, clamming a hand over my mouth out of embarrassment.

He laughs though and pries my hand away, giving me another short and sweet kiss.

"That was fun," he says

"Yeah,"

"Wanna do it again?"

"Definitely, Simon,"

xxx

"You called me Simon,"

"No, I didn't,"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

xxx

"Hey, Baz,"

"Yes, Snow,"

"Will you m my boyfriend?

"God, yes!"

[toya]

tagged by @tmakisamajiki ♡ rules: answer 20 questions plus 5 more, then tag whoever you want. name: percy nickname(s): things im often called by friends include idiot, gay bitch, angelface, disgusting la croix consumer, problematic, and dumbass zodiac: aries but idc about this stuff height: 5′8″ but i wish i was taller ugh languages: english + conversational spanish nationality: american favorite season(s): spring + autumn favorite flower(s): orchids, lilacs, hyacinth, peonies... literally any because they’re all so beautiful favorite scent(s): when it’s spring/summer and the temperature plunges because an impending storm is rolling in and the windy darkening sky smells of rain, anything clean linen, opening a fresh bag of coffee beans and them being ground up, however my friends and bf naturally smell, my dog even when she’s stinky, my parents house after i haven’t visited them in like a week favorite color(s): black, grey, anything muted, rose gold favorite animal(s): red tailed hawk, owls, wolves, bears favorite fictional character(s): himiko + dabi + hawks (bnha), hannibal + will (hannibal), detective cohle + detective hart (true detective), legosi (bestars), midori (kakegurui), piers + raihan (pkmn), dimitri + felix + sylvain (fe3h), levi + erwin (snk), hisoka + illumi (hxh), there’s really too many and i had to scroll my twt to see who i retweet the most  coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: all 3 including some hot apple cider average sleep: 5-8 hours usually  dog or cat person: dogs please but i wouldn’t mind owning a cat in the future number of blankets: as many as possible dream trip: london, italy, germany again, japan again, south korea, a coastal town in turkey, france only for monets house blog established: i checked my archive and it’s oct of 2018 wow followers: more than enough for someone who only reblogs posts and i appreciate every single person even if i dont say it random fact about me: im a homebody i don’t do much sorry! im boring plus 5 questions! introvert or extrovert: introvert tho i wish i could be an extrovert place to relax: bed, couch, laying with my dog anywhere, nature, the floor favorite snack: rainbow goldfish because they taste better than the regular colored ones do not fight me on this  recent shows: true detective + beastars  i’ll tag some new moots per usual but also yall dont gotta do this is you dont wanna: @toughfruits, @airaishi, @daeins, @meruis, @brainworm666, @alteami, @uurie, @kenmamama, & @kagxtsukis

[captainsuke]

teenagers with nicotine stained hands

(this is one hundred percent @theninjazebra & @onecoloradaykeepsthedoctoraway 's faults for interacting me and encouraging me)

“Have you tried not being gay?”

Deran's still thumbing his nose even though it stopped dripping a few minutes ago. Adrian feels the skin over his knuckles tighten as he clenches his fists; he fantasizes about popping his best friend in the face and takes several deep breaths til the idea passes.

“Don't be an asshole.” He says finally, shoving Deran's shoulder a little harder than he might usually do.

Somedays he doesn't get Deran at all, he's literally bleeding, going to be wearing a black eye for the rest of the week from jumping in on Adrian's fight, Adrian doesn't even need Deran to fight his battles, Deran might pack more fury per square inch in his small body, but Adrian's a big kid and the daily hours of paddling his board out and swimming have given him arms that can pack a punch.

“I'm just saying, it's just. Wouldn't it be easier, if you just? You know?”

Then he goes and says shit like that.

“No, I don't fucking know, Deran!”

He must split his lip again shouting because Deran's eyes drop to his mouth. Adrian swipes his sleeve angrily across it as Deran's face screws up into an impressive scowl before looking around his shoulders hunching.

“Never fucking mind.” He says fumbling in his pocket for his smokes, lighting one up and frowning out past the bleachers.

Sometimes Adrian thinks Deran comes to school just to start fights - he never seems to go to classes anymore – and other times Adrian wonders if he shows up so no one forgets him.

“I just,” Deran starts again, a little quieter, a little less confrontational. “Why'd you have to tell anyone?”

Deran pulls his knees up, his arms coming up to wrap around them.

“Everyone's being a jerk. Your Dad is being a jerk.”

“He's always been kind of a jerk,” Adrian shrugs, more carefree than he feels, answering glibly. “least now he's got a reason.”

He sees the top of Deran's nose wrinkle in a scowl his face burying further into his arms before he looks up and takes another drag from his cigarette.

“I should fucking punch him.”

“Please don't punch my dad, he already hates you.”

Deran gives a broken glass kind of laugh, but doesn't say anything more.

Instead they both go quiet, Adrian just breathing, trying not to think what Deran's thinking that's got him twisting around like he is, sucking on the cigarette like it's oxygen.

“Jesus Christ, that's gonna stunt your growth, you know.” Adrian teases just because Deran hasn't automatically offered him a puff.

“Shut up.” Deran says a hand up, warding off Adrian's seeking hand.

“You're going to be a midget forever,” Adrian laughs as Deran's face reddens.

“Shut the fuck up, I'm going to be taller than Craig."

“So I should take advantage while you're this size, huh?”

Deran's half formed what? turns into a high pitched squeak as Adrian tackles him.

For the cigarette.

Definitely.

They scuffle around for a minutes, more play than anything, til finally Adrian comes out on top, one handpinning Deran down the other plucking the cigarette from his lip.

It occurs to him as he takes a victory puff still half sitting on Deran, that he's never been able to pin Deran down for this long before. He automatically slides to the side and watches Deran's red face from the corner of his eye as they sit up.

“Come surfing after?” Dean asks, kicking a foot idly.

Adrian sighs and takes a long drag from the cigarette.

“I'll probably be grounded later.” He will be, once school calls his dad and tells him he's been fighting. And who he's been fighting with. What the fight was about will be just icing on the cake as far as Adrian's dad will be concerned.

Deran's foot kicks harder, nose crinkling like he can't believe people get grounded. He gestures for his cigarette back and leaps to his feet once Adrian hands it over. Cigarette in mouth he stretches, arms high to the sky, shirt lifting and Adrian stares for a split second too long before quickly looking away.

Deran looks down, a slow grin with blood stained teeth spreading across his face.

“Wanna go now then?”

Maybe, Adrian will think later, he's a bit of an idiot and it shouldn't have been such a big surprise when six months later Deran crowds him into someplace private and sticks his hand down Adrian's pants with that same soft pink blush.

[wiggly-blue-shite]

Chapter 13 The Bell Doesn’t Dismiss You (Tedgens)

"Are you hungry?" I don't want him to leave yet. I want him to stay here and hang out.

"Yeah I could eat." Ted shrugs. So he's going to stay!

"Cool, I'll order pizza." I stand up and walk over to where I set my phone down. I would make something, but pizza is so much easier.

"Pepperoni please," Ted reaches into his pockets. "Damnit I think I left my wallet in my car, I'll go get it."

What? No. I'm the host here, I'm paying.

"No no no no no!" I walk over and stand almost above him. "don't you dare, this is on me."

It's my house, I'm paying.

"No way!" Ted stands up, he stands up in a way that we end up standing very close to each other. My breathing becomes heavy. "I'll be paying."

I can't help but to chuckle. My laugh is much more breathy than usual. Fucking weird ass teenager body.

"Are you now?" Ted raises his eyebrow. If I step away or break eye contact, I lose. I'm not going to lose that easily.

"Yes." Ted doesn't look that confident, in fact he's blushing like crazy. Awww he's showing weakness. He probably doesn't even realize it. Well, I can use that.

"Yeah ok," I've already won, so I feel comfortable breaking eye contact. He has no sense of fashion, but man does he look good. It's weird being the confident one it this situation, not that I'm complaining.

I step away to go order the pizzas. I can feel Ted watching me. I have no idea how I haven't melted yet.

"Ok I ordered it," I look back up at him. He was watching me.

"That was fast." Ted smiles again. He recovered quickly. "How much do I own you?"

He still thinks he's paying. That's adorable. He underestimates my good host instincts.

"Nothing." I smile back at him. I wink. What the fuck am I doing? That's the flirtiest I have done it at least three years.

"I'm not going to let you pay." Ted gets all serious.

"Yes you are." I can't help but to smile. He's adorable! He grumbles like an angry little kid. "You're not going to win this fight." I am a good host god damnit!

I get out paper plates while Ted tips the pizza guy. He insisted. I can't say no to that face. I mean I can, but I thought I would let him have something.

Ted puts the pizza box down in the dining room. He looks a little uncomfortable sitting at the dining table.

I should get something to drink. I walk into the kitchen. Mom just went grocery shopping so we have a shit ton of options.

"What do you want to drink." I call out to him in the other room. I don't know him well enough. When Emma's over I know to get her a strawberry Fanta, and to get Norah a root beer. I don't know ted like that yet.

"What do you got." Ted calls back from the other room.

"Depends," my parents aren't home, so I don't have any problem with offering him booze, "Do you want soda or beer?"

He seems like the kind of person who would want a drink right about now.

"Beer!"

Called it.

Dad would notice if any of his nice expensive beers go missing. No one gives a shit if they loose to Budweiser's though. I don't think Ted would be too picky.

I grab the two cans and walk back into the other room. I hand him one of them.

"You're cool with me drinking in your house?" He looks up at me with a kind of concerned expression. That's kind of a stupid question.

"I wouldn't have brought you the beer if I wasn't. It doesn't matter, my parents are out of town." I don't particularly like that taste, but I'll drink it. I sit across from him.

I didn't realize how hungry I was. The school lunches are far from substantial, so I usually eat something when I get home from school, but I didn't today. So it's good to eat, I probably won't eat again today.

"Can I ask you a question." Ted asks sheepishly. It sounds like it's important.

"Yeah sure!" I take a sip of beer to was down the pizza.

"How did you know you were gay?" WHAT?!

I inhale sharply while still taking the sip. Fuck. I have to cough it out.

Why did he ask me that? That's a really deep question. Why does he want to know? What does he gain from the answer? Is he...

"I shouldn't have asked that, I'm sorry." Ted sounds panicked.

I mean if he wants to know.

"No, it's a fair question." I take a deep breath. I was not fucking expect that. Holy shit. "I uh well... Y'know how in middle school all the boys were fawning over Becky Barnes?" It was kind of ridiculous how much people liked her. "Well I was more focused on Tom Huston."

I don't know how to talk about my fucking sexual awakening, WITH MY CURRENT CRUSH.

What the fuck is happening?

"Huh." Ted nods. He looks deep in thought. That was so out of the blue! What is he thinking? Is he questioning? No, no way. Ted's almost aggressively straight.

"W-why do you ask?" Of course I fucking stutter. Why wouldn't I?

"It's just... I've been feeling stuff for other guys." He's actually questioning. WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING.

"Oh..." Raging heterosexual Ted, is fucking questioning his sexuality. "Do I know him?"

"Uh, probably not . It's just a guy I met through baseball." Of course, an athletic guy. "But you know I still like girls." Of course he does. He's legitimately questioning his sexuality though, this isn't a joke.

I try to imagine the baseball stud that caused this, but I can't.

"Well you're probably bi." Does he even know that that's a thing?

"Yeah..." Ted's voice trails off. There's a moment of silence. "Thanks." Ted smiles "That helps." He takes a sip of his beer. I have no idea what's happening. He's bi, probably.

"Well, I'm glad I can help." I smile back to keep it from getting more uncomfortable.

We finish up the meal. We start cleaning up in complete silence. I throw away the pizza box. Ted's facing away from me at the moment.

I can feel myself loosing control of my body. The fucking hormones are taking over.

"Hey ted." My hand tugs on his shirt sleeve. Ted turns to face me. He's such a nice funny guy. I feel myself grab his face and pull him closer to me. What the fuck am I doing? Our lips touch for a split second. WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING? I let go and pull away quickly. "I'm so sorry I shouldn't have done that. I couldn't help myself." I suddenly gain control again. My hearts going a million miles per hour. I can hear my heart thump in my head.

"Don't apologize." Ted's voice was warm. I felt like I was on fire.

"No no no, that wasn't ok. I shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry. I don't know what case over me." I can tell I'm rambling. I'm starting to get a migraine. I'm so stupid.

"I'm sorry, too." Ted smiles slightly.

I think I'm hyperventilating but there's too much shit going on to really tell.

"Why?" He didn't do anything wrong. Right?

"For lying." Ted put his hand the side of my face. I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack. Ted places his lips on mine.

My stomach flips. What the fuck is happening?

I feel myself kissing back. I guess it was instinctual, because I have no clue how to move anymore, or breath.

I've forgotten how to breath. This is how I die. Well it could be worse.

Time has frozen around us. Ted pulls away and smiles at me, hand still on my face.

"I'm definitely Bi." Ted's smile...

I finally catch my breath again. Ted's hand is a little rough but I don't mind. I put my hand on top of his.

"What did you lie about?" My head isn't settled yet. For a spilt second I thought he was lying about not sleeping with Charlotte, but I don't think that's true anymore. Ted takes a second to answer.

"You were the one who made me question..." Ted stops when he sees how widely I'm smiling. "You're adorable."

"I could say the same thing about you." I can't help but to giggle.

"Can I kiss you again?"

I nod like an idiot. Words are stupid. I don't need words.

Ted leans in and kisses me. I wrap my arms around his neck. His arms go around my waist.

This is the shit you see in movies. This isn't real. I'm going to wake up tomorrow and none of today had happened. But I can still savor it now.