#gay as the day u were born

[thetorturedlovergirl]

When I’m in a cunty pose competition but the third doctor comes through the door

[sparrowritings]

how you two got together

pairing: gojo x zenin!male!reader

summary: non-curse zenin reader and their dynamic with gojo after defecting from the zenin clan to attend tokyo jujutsu high

tags: non-descriptive injury and violence, gay panic

word count: 2.5k

a/n: this started off as hcs, but then got really long as i worked on it lol. i might make a pt.2 where its bf hcs, let me know what u think!

Born into the Zenin clan with little to no cursed energy, a heavenly restriction was placed on you as a child

Similar to Maki, you were viewed as the family's disappointment

This was further accentuated since you were born around the same time as Naoya, who was gifted with one of the family’s prized cursed techniques

You were close to and looked up to Toji due to you both not possessing cursed techniques and became training partners 

When Toji defected from the Zenin clan, you defected too to pursue becoming a sorcerer, eventually ending up at Tokyo Jujutsu High

This is also how you got to know the other three first-years when you joined 

“Everyone, (Y/N) will be joining us for the rest of the school year. Please behave, especially you, Satoru.” Yaga states as you walk up to the front of the classroom.

You were nervous, there was no hiding that. This was the first time you interacted with sorcerers outside of the Zenin clan. 

“Please take care of me!” You say, bowing.

When you stood upright again, you took in your classmates for the next four years. The guy with bone-white hair and round shades caught your eye immediately. His hair looked fluffy, and you wanted to run your fingers through it. He was slumped sideways in his chair, arms draped to his side and his feet crossed on the table in front of him. He was attractive, you had to admit.

“This has to be a joke, Sensei. How is a person with no cursed energy ever going to become a sorcerer?” The light-haired man spoke, with a teasing lilt.

Well, he was attractive to you until he opened his mouth. 

The first sentence that came out of Gojo Satoru’s mouth immediately left a bad taste in your mouth

It was that day where you decided that he had a shitty personality and that you did not like him

Once your life at Jujutsu High settled into a routine, you began to adjust and get more comfortable with who you were

You would hang out in the morgue with Shoko when you were bored but didn’t want to train

You would train hand-to-hand with Suguru because he was the only one who could keep up with you in that regard

You didn’t hang out with Gojo too often; after that first interaction, you believed that he was like the people in your family back home

Gojo initially thought that you were a helpless non-sorcerer who had overly ambitious dreams until he saw you spar for the first time

Crickets chirped in the background as the sun beat down on you and Suguru overhead. The dull “clack” of wood on wood echoed through the training grounds. You and Suguru had become regular sparring partners since you revealed yourself as an excellent physical fighter and cursed tools user. 

You attacked from the sides quickly, before aiming one decisive, forward thrust towards Suguru’s chest. Caught off guard, he raised his waster to block the attack sloppily. Taking advantage of the surprise, you quickly dropped down and swept at his legs, catching him off balance. Before he had a chance to react, the tip of your waster was resting lightly on his chest. You were both breathing heavily from the exertion and heat. A beat later, you lower your weapon and help the other up, smiles on both your faces as Suguru punches your shoulder in a friendly gesture.

Taking a break from the session, the both of you sit on the side of the field, taking a water break.

Unbeknownst to you, Gojo and Shoko were just walking past the fields and had witnessed the entire exchange.

Gojo found himself unable to tear his eyes off you. He had seen other people fight with swords, but none were ever as graceful as you. You moved like water, each motion flowing into each other seamlessly. It seemed so effortless, but Gojo knew that what you were capable of was only possible with years of dedicated training. 

“Satoru, you’re staring,” Shoko spoke. 

“No! I-I wasn’t.” Gojo bit back, his cheeks and ears flushing pink.

“Sure, I believe you.” She chuckled.

So okay, maybe Gojo thought that you were attractive when you were fighting

It was something that was absolutely objective, really

At least, that was what he tried to convince himself

Okay, so maybe he had a tiny, tiny crush on you, but he didn’t really know how to go about it since you guys never talked

So he resorted to getting your attention in a mature way

By annoying the fuck out of you

“Oh look, it’s my favorite non-curse user!” He would squeal whenever he would see you and drape himself over your shoulder.

“Fuck off, Gojo.” You would huff before peeling him off you.

Initially, he had succeeded, and you had found it annoying

But as he did it more often, it became the dynamic between you two

You were cooking in the communal kitchen when the tall man had made himself known in all his lanky glory.

“How’s my favorite armrest doing this fine evening?” He spoke, opening the fridge.

“I’m doing better than your string bean-looking ass.” You shot back as you stirred the ramen cooking in the saucepan in front of you.

“You hurt me, truly.” Gojo responds, dramatically leaning against the fridge.

You began to understand why Gojo was the way he was, and slowly, a friendship formed despite the rocky start

You were on good terms, until the first time you were assigned a harder mission with Gojo

It was a semi-grade one, and the higher-ups were originally going to send Geto, but he had been whisked away on another mission

So Yaga assigned the mission to you instead of Geto

For this mission, you brought one of your favourite weapons, Shisui

Shisui was a katana that could absorb and accumulate cursed energy and release it  

The fight against the curse started well, but quickly went downhill when Gojo destroyed one of the walls in the building, and it started collapsing

You had to dodge the debris and the curse’s attacks at the same time, which was honestly a hassle

The curse was smart; it had caught on to how much the collapsing building was giving you trouble, and strategically positioned itself in front of the other wall, hoping to trick Gojo into destroying the other wall

However, you had picked up on it

Gojo had already pointed his fingers towards the curse, who was floating right in front of the wall. If he fired Blue now, the building would definitely collapse.

Pushing off quickly, you dash towards the curse, intercepting Blue with Shisui. You gripped the hilt of the blade; it was built to absorb cursed energy, but withstanding the force of Blue was still no easy feat. 

You landed stably, before shooting off again, rushing the curse perpendicular to the wall. You gripped Shisui, charged with the cursed energy of Blue, and with a pinpoint-precise thrust, the semi-grade one was no more. However, what you failed to realize was that as the curse was exorcised, it had sent out its tendrils in an attempt to take down the two sorcerers. 

Focused on taking it down without destroying the building, you had left your side open. Three tendrils pierced your side, searing pain shooting up your torso. You fell onto one knee, using Shisui for support.

Your erratic pulse drummed in your ears, and black spots clouded your vision. Your limbs tingle as you reach a hand to your side, your uniform now wet with your blood.

“(Y/N)...(Y/N)!” You hear Gojo’s voice become softer and softer as you slump over.

Gojo is the one to take you back to school with his teleportation

He appears in the morgue, frantic and panicked with your injured body in his arms

Shoko takes over immediately, using her RCT on your injuries

She tells Gojo that you will be fine and that you just need rest, but he refuses to leave your side

When you eventually wake up, you immediately get a lecture from Gojo 

“(Y/N), I had it handled. You didn’t have to jump in.” He stated.

“You would’ve collapsed the building, Satoru. That would’ve caused trouble for both of us.” You reasoned.

“You were being reckless; you should’ve left everything to me.” 

“Reckless? Me?” You started incredulously, “Well yeah, not everyone has Infinity as a get-out-of-jail-free card, so sorry, Gojo-sama, for worrying about getting crushed by a building.”

“Well this get-out-of-jail-free card could’ve exorcised the curse without getting stabbed in the side! Thrice!” Gojo exclaimed, frustrated that you weren’t understanding his logic.

“You should just go alone next time, seeing as you obviously don’t need my help. You could just say it to my face if you think I’m not good enough, no need to play pretend.” You spat.

“(Y/N), that’s not-” 

“I think you’ve said enough. I don’t want to talk to you right now.” You cut him off once again. He seems to hesitate before turning and leaving the morgue.

You hadn’t noticed earlier, but your eyes were watery

Whether from frustration or from betrayal that Gojo looked down on you this entire time, you didn’t know

Shoko gave you a reassuring look before rushing off after Gojo

She finds Gojo sitting under a tree right outside the school building, holding his head in his hands

Shoko lights a cigarette, plopping down next to him

“I don’t understand why he’s so stubborn. If he let me handle the curse he wouldn’t have needed to get hurt.” Gojo speaks, head still in his hands.

“You? Worried about someone getting hurt instead of whether they are slowing you down? Who are you and what have you done to the real Gojo Satoru?” Shoko replies.

Gojo feels his cheeks and ears heat up.

“I know you like him. You’re not exactly subtle with it. You should probably make it clear that you’re worried about him and not looking down on him, before he has time to convince himself otherwise.” Shoko speaks before taking a hit of her cigarette.

Many things are running through Gojo’s head, but the main thing his mind was screaming at him was how maybe his crush was something more

Initially he was drawn to you because of how good you were with cursed tools

But after spending more time with you, he realized that he cared about you 

In a way where he wanted to protect you, to hear your laugh and to see you happy

He’s never felt this deeply about anyone, or anything for that matter

He stands abruptly, rushing back towards the morgue

While this conversation was happening, you received a call from your clan 

They have not contacted you since you left so you were curious

You picked up, putting them on speaker

“(Y/N). We heard that you got injured badly.” Your mother’s voice, “We’ve deliberated with the elders. We are allowing you to return to the estate, (Y/N). We’ve been trying to tell you that you aren’t suited for the sorcerer life and today was just proof of that. The Jujutsu World doesn’t need any more weak sorcerers; you’ll just get in the way.” She spoke softly.

You could feel the tears well up once again, and you sobbed when you couldn’t keep them back. You knew that you had the odds stacked against you when you decided to pursue becoming a Jujutsu sorcerer. You had thought that you found people who viewed you as equal, people who respected your own skills, until Gojo had made you realise that he had looked down on you this entire time. 

You had thought that maybe, just maybe that you guys were friends, or even more, when he would entertain your banter and be physically affectionate with you. It hurt that this entire time, you were a joke to him. He didn’t even think you could handle that curse working in a team with him, let alone by yourself.

It hurt.

You were letting the tears flow freely down your face, now that the dam had broken. 

“(Y/N)-” Your father had started speaking but you stopped listening when you saw who was at the door. Unbeknownst to you, Gojo had overheard the entire conversation.

“Gojo, I told you I didn’t want to talk to you right now.” You spoke shakily, averting his gaze.

“(Y/N),  I-I came to apologize, actually.” Your eyes widen in surprise.

“You? Apologising?” You couldn’t stop yourself before those words tumbled out of your mouth.

Gojo looked down at the floor, face flushing. 

“Look, I didn’t mean to say what I said before- I thought that- What I meant to- How I meant-” He struggled with his words, but you waited for him to finish patiently, “I’m sorry I made you think that I didn’t want your help, or that you’re not good enough. That’s not what I meant.” He made his way towards you, kneeling at your bedside, resting his arms and head on the edge of the bed. He grabs your hand.

“I just got really scared that I had lost you, and I-I really care about you, (Y/N).”

You look down at Gojo, still processing his words. Your father’s voice cuts through the silence.

“-the weak don’t have to pretend to be strong. Give up this act and return at once, (Y/N).” It reminded you of your current circumstance and fresh tears rolled down your cheeks. 

Observing your distress, he picks up the phone before you could react. 

“Oi Zenin, (Y/N) here is one of the best cursed tool users this school has seen, so shut the fuck up before you start talking about someone you know nothing about. He’s one of the kindest, most considerate and strong sorcerers around, and he could wipe the floor with you guys in his sleep, so fuck off with your bullshit. Byeeeee~” Gojo singsongs before hanging up.

“I can’t believe you just did that.”

Gojo’s expression returns to the more serious one from early. He gets up, cupping your face in both his hands.

“I’m being serious, (Y/N). You’re an amazing person, and I’m mad that I made you feel otherwise.” He pauses before continuing, “And. I’ve been meaning to tell you this, but I have feelings for you, and I think I’ve been feeling this way for a while. Uh, it’s okay if you don’t return my feelings, and I understand if-”

You don’t let him continue, pulling him in by his arms and kissing him. He freezes for a moment before he reciprocates. When the two of you part for air, he rests his forehead on yours.

“I have feelings for you too, Satoru.” You speak softly.

He chuckles, capturing your lips with his.

[sitp-recs]

HII do u recommend any short/quick read drarry fics?? No angst please hehe

Glad you asked anon, I LOVE reccing short fic! I already have a few lists (here and here) so I took this request as a challenge to do a list with fics under 3k that I don’t see recced often. Hope you enjoy these!

The Department of Perfect Timing by americanmoths (T, 929 words)

It's very like Potter to try to adopt a muggle child at the end of Draco's shift.

Measure My Lordship With Thine Vulgar Aye by @starquestingfordrarry (M, 1k)

Draco buys some Muggle magnets for the office.

Snow On Snow by @tackytigerfic (T, 1k)

Harry and Draco were deep undercover in Europe, and had to pretend to be a couple. When everything went wrong, they got out by the skin of their teeth.

A Brush With Potter by @maesterchill (T, 1k)

Draco NEEDS to get his hands on the latest toy racing broom for Teddy. Trust a certain messy-haired Gryffindor to thwart his plans.

My tidings aren’t glad, they’re ghastly by @lemonlimelea (G, 1.2k)

“Potter, what are you playing at, sending me a bloody Christmas card?” A new tradition is born.

halcyon days by @the-starryknight (T, 1.3k)

Sleepy mornings caught while the sun rises are reserved for silly word games and soft touches and feelings.

Phoenix in the Fire by @fw00shy (E, 1.4k)

Their first time was an accident. "Sex pollen," Draco claims, though everyone knows it was too much Ogden's after Puddlemere beat the Tornados 240-230.

Tidings of Comfort by @blamebrampton (G, 1.5k)

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life. Luckily for Draco Malfoy, London has places where the tired can rest and recover.

and another one by @nv-md (M, 1.6k)

Draco has a few too many drinks after a row with Harry, and Harry has to come to his rescue... sort of.

In The Wings by @cavendishbutterfly (T, 1.7k)

Ballet has been a path to healing for Draco after the war. Now, it's his final performance in the starring role, and his boyfriend is in the audience for the first time.

I Must Be Lonely by @sweet-s0rr0w (T, 1.8k)

Draco works nights at the Ministry security desk. Sometimes, he sees Potter.

This Time Again (Next Year) by @gryffindorhearts (T, 1.8k)

At thirty minutes to midnight on New Year’s Eve, Harry is buried under a mountain of paperwork. Only Malfoy, his long-time coworker and one-time lover, could have any hope of distracting him.

magic in the making by @getawayfox (G, 1.9k)

I didn’t see Malfoy for a year after the trial. When Gin told me that, according to Pansy, he had opened a little posh bakery in Mayfair, I thought she was joking, so I went to see for myself.

Nectar by @jtimu (T, 1.9k)

Draco's first Animagus transformation doesn't go as planned.

I, Ferret by curiouslyfic (T, 2k)

Draco's embraced his inner Ferret. Now it's Harry's turn. Starring Veela!Draco, mpreg, an old wives' tale, and a Weddiwizard.

Receipts by @moonflower-rose (M, 2k)

Pansy and Ginny have made a stupid wager and Draco may be the one who comes away a winner.

Willing Blood by @lqtraintracks and @the-starryknight (E, 2k)

Seven days together, years ago; seventy-four hours and thirty-eight minutes trapped in this house alone; and now one chance to stop himself from draining Potter dry. Will Draco take it? Will Harry let him?

Chicken Shop Date by @sorrybutblog (T, 2k)

Draco and Harry sit down for an interview. Or is it a date?

Almost-but-not-quite by @pineau-noir (G, 2k)

Immediately following the Battle of Hogwarts Draco Malfoy stumbles across the last Time-Tuner in existence. He had intended to go into the past to try and right his many wrongs, but magic sometimes does what it wants.

Thrice Bound by @skeptiquewrites (M, 2.3k)

Once by nature, once by fate, and once by choice.

The Art of Seduction by playout (M, 2.3k)

Harry and Draco are Auror partners assigned to go undercover at a muggle gay bar frequented by drug-dealing wizards.

Light Years Away by @lettersbyelise (M, 2.5k)

No one told Harry about the training courses young Aurors and Curse Breakers have in common, just like Harry never told anyone about his one-night encounter with Draco Malfoy two months prior.

like the sun came out by @academicdisasterfic (E, 2.8k)

Harry realises that Draco loves him, and it's like waking up.

Secretly, between the shadow and the soul by @teacup-tai (T, 2.9k)

The thing about surrender is that once you accept the unavoidable rhythm of change, the surprising uncontrollability of life, and the astonishing inevitability of feelings, it is easy.

Market Saturdays by @sorrybutblog (M, 3k)

In which Harry is an accidental part-time cheesemonger, Draco is an organic farmer and they fall in love. Not an AU.

[orbitariums]

christopher moltisanti x black! reader (snippet) as promised literally LAST YEAR... i know my people are still waiting on it i'm so sorry for leaving yall hanging, gays can u ever forgive me?

this is a SNIPPET of the shit i literally started last week... there's room for improvement and hopefully this will force me to finish this. also if any of y'all are also into challengers, i've got some patrick zweig and art donaldson (x black reader) fic posted and more incoming ehehehe.

anyway. set in like s3/s4, when christopher was working in an office (completely blanking on when that actually was but you'll have to forgive me i literally started this last summer (and still haven't finished the sopranos because i am notoriously slow at finishing tv shows))

cappuccino w/ extra cream | christopher moltisanti x black!reader

contains: smut, mentions of racial tension, christopher is NOT an abusive racist in this sopranosverse <3

You and Christopher Moltisanti were not a predictable match. It was only by chance that you met, while he was ordering lunch at the bodega you worked at after he had scored a hit in your neighborhood. He knew better than to come back, especially just for you, but he did. Over and over he came in, ordering a turkey and cheese on a roll with extra relish, shoving an inappropriately large tip in the tip jar just for you— just enough times until you caved in and let him take you out to dinner.

Of course, your family had a fit, and you didn’t even want to think about what Christopher went through with his crew when it came time to finally tell them about his forbidden love life. But all of the ruckus had died down, and now between the two of your crews was this unspoken, stifled agreement that they would let this union exist in peace. It was the 90s for god’s sake, and Christopher was a stubborn mule. 

Once he knew what he wanted, there was no backing down, even if it made him look like an idiot to those whom he served. And by god, did he want you. He was obsessed with you. Always wining and dining you, showing you off without shame. Of course, you two had been through your ups and downs, but Christopher treated you right. You were probably the first woman he’d treated right, the first he cared for unconditionally. No pains in sight except those he took to spoil you and cherish you beyond the diamonds and Versace pumps he gifted you. Even Paulie could respect it, along with the rest. It’s partially why they left it alone, and even smiled and shook your hand when you showed up on his arm. He thought about you every waking moment, he was positively lovestruck. 

It was a slow day at the office. Already Christopher had to reprimand Thing One and Thing Two for trying to intimidate the new guy. He was secluded now in his office, scrolling aimlessly on his chunky desktop computer when he heard a knock at the door.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me, baby!” came your voice, tinkling like bells in his ear and positively soaring through the room from the other side of the door. 

Christopher stood up, standing straight as if he’d just downed a shot of espresso, and he had to physically resist flinging himself at the door for the sake of the guys outside who were watching him. He opened it, first looking past you and glaring at the guys who had frozen on their phones and computers, gaping at the sight of you being let into Christopher’s office. Like they’d never seen anybody before. 

“What are you jerkoffs looking at?” Christopher barked. “Get back to work!”

Immediately resumed the punching sounds of typing and the drawls of the sleazy salesmen on the phone with their poor customers. As if it were nothing, Christopher retreated back, facing you with a broad, charming smile.

“YN, baby… what are you doin’ here?” he asked, that dopey lover boy tinkle sneaking into his voice, which always did anytime he talked to you. He sounded like a completely different person— like the Chris he might have been if he weren’t born into the family he was born into. He took your arms into his hands, caressing them gently, softly smiling. “Here, come in.”

He opened the door wide enough for you to come in, glared at everyone once again when you walked past, and then closed it, clicking the door locked. Not that anyone would try to come in unannounced anyway.   

“Wanted to see you, that’s all,” you smiled, plush lips pressed against one another. “Got off work early, got you a capp and chocolate biscotti. Extra creamy, just how you like it.”

You sat down at the chair opposite his desk, setting down two coffee cups and a crinkly paper bag. Christopher felt like he was dreaming. His discontent seemed to fade away now that you were here— bright colors replaced the dull dram palette of his lonely office and he only had eyes for you. The smell of creamy espresso wafted towards him, mingling with the praline swirls of perfume that glided off of your pressure points. He was in Heaven— he was sure of it. All of his senses were overwhelmed by beauty when he was around you. 

“My girl. Always so sweet,” Christopher picked up a cup and sat down in his desk chair across from you. He pried open the lid and took a deep sniff, all the while maintaining the most tantalizing eye contact with you, both of you staring at each other with smirking smiles painted on your lips. 

“Go on, drink it,” you prompted him, unable to hide the smile from your voice. 

“What, I can’t look at you instead?” Christopher crooned back. “C’mere. Come, sit on my lap. Sitting across from me, what are you, a client?”

You shook your head, laughing at Christopher’s incessant demands to always be close to you, always be looking at you. He was always touchy-feely and lovey-dovey. His affinity for physical touch lurked not so far beyond the cold mobster exterior. You got up anyway, slinked over to him, and sat. One leg crossed over the other, the skin of one thigh sinking into the other. He wrapped his arms around you and nuzzled his chin into your shoulder, gazing up at you. 

“Your hair looks nice,” Christopher commented, gently grabbing a handful of your fresh auburn-colored braids and stroking his hand through the gaps.

“Oh, thank you,” you snaked a hand through your hair, tilting your head so you could see Christopher better. 

“You go to that salon? Put it on my card?”

“Of course, baby. Thank you,” you smiled coyly, kissing his cheek with a loud smack.

“You just tell me anytime you need to get your hair done. With you, it’s every two weeks, but I can’t complain.”

You snickered,

“Yeah, until I make you sit there and wait for me for six hours to get some braids.”

“I dunno how you do it. You’ve got patience like nobody else,” Christopher replied, pushing some of your braids to the other side.

“We have patience like no other.”

Christopher looked down at your skirt— a tight pencil skirt that matched the brown hues of your skin and hugged your curves nicely. You matched it with a blazer and a white blouse. You looked so sexy and professional, and elegant.

“And this skirt,” Christopher continued, layering on the compliments with a renewed curiosity, the kind of curiosity that wanted to know what was under the skirt. His hands, rough and large, found their way onto your lap and your thigh. His hands, marred and toughened from his profession, felt nothing like your buttery smooth skin, but still, you found yourself melting into his touch. Your wispy lashes brushed against your cheek as your eyes fluttered slightly closed. 

“Burberry. You like it?” you bit down on your lip, giving him doe eyes as you craned your neck to coo at him. 

A deep smirk set on Christopher’s lips and his thick brows rose slightly. His hands left your body for only a moment to raise up in the air as if considering the question, then they were right back where they belonged, 

“Do I like it? I wanna fuck you with it on.”

Your mouth dropped.

“Christopher!” you enunciated each syllable, glaring back at him with twinkling, faux scandalized wide eyes. 

“What? I can’t be honest anymore?” Christopher asked, his words beginning to sound muffled as he pressed his lips against your neck ever-so-gently, but enough so that you could feel it. “I’m Catholic. Lying is a sin.”

“What’re you doing, Chris?” you scoffed, rolling your eyes amusedly. You wouldn’t keep up this facade for long, but he would play along and break down your walls. 

“You smell so fucking good,” Christopher practically inhaled your scent, his big nose pressed against the nape of your neck. “You got more of this stuff?”

You frowned slightly, remembering that you were savoring the last of it,

“I’m almost out.”

“I’ll get you more,” Christopher replied immediately. “Make that your signature scent.”

You chuckled at Christopher’s insistence, his matter-of-fact way of speaking about certain things. Not controlling, but honest about what he wanted. 

“Okay, I will,” you grinned. 

Christopher pushed away your braids so that one side of your neck was completely bare for him to continue peppering kisses upon. It was clear to you that he wanted more than just this, as sweet as it was. And you wanted it too, but not without teasing him first. 

“I want you right now,” Christopher said, a certain desperation tinged in his voice that only you could provoke. He knew he’d have you, and could have you… but still, every time, he seemed to rescind into this character of the enthralled lover boy who didn’t quite have the girl. Like he was still ordering sandwiches from the other side of the counter and telling you to keep the change. 

“Christopher! You’re at work. What if someone hears?”

Christopher snorted through his nose, 

“I don’t give a fuck. ‘Sides, only thing those jerkoffs can hear is the sound of their own 

mouth-breathing.”

You giggled, but half-heartedly, trying to catch your breath. Christopher wasn’t the only one who was defenseless in this relationship. You wouldn’t be able to guess it right away, but he had you wrapped around his finger too, right along with his Cuban ring. Everything he did positively enraptured you, even if it made him dangerous. But when you were with him, everything was swathed in the softest fabrics, and the air smelled of fresh linen and fields of flowers. None of the blood and tears that his work consisted of. 

You crumpled under his touch, easily. He knew you, mind, soul, and more presently, body. The room was silent, bar for the slightest sounds of lips against your neck and fabric swishing against itself as he eased his hand further up your thigh, pushing underneath your skirt. By now his kisses against your neck had you tilting your head back in pleasure, your lips slightly parted. You could feel the outline of his cock against your ass and wanted nothing more than to get closer. Each time you saw each other it was like you hadn’t seen each other in years, would never see each other again. The passion never dissipated. 

His hand crept further and further until it reached the side of your panties, lifting the elastic band and then letting it slap against your skin. His kisses against your neck grew deeper and traveled up to your chin, his other hand wrapped around your waist tightly. You gasped slightly at Chris’ suggestive touch.

“Christopher…” you whispered, your voice reduced to a weak shiver, lids becoming heavy. 

“What?” he responded, his breath heavy. 

“Please, I need you to touch me.”

“Where?” Christopher asked, fighting the smile that was pulling at his lips. 

“Here!” you exclaimed with desperation, grabbing his hand and pressing it against the center of your panties where there was a wet mark. 

“Oh, there,” Christopher replied, fingers pressing into you over the delicate fabric. 

“Yes, please,” you whimpered, your whole body beginning to tense up as if preparing for sweet impact. 

You were relieved when you felt him push your panties to the side and you could finally feel his fingers against your flesh, prodding at your folds as if collecting your wetness along his fingertips. 

“You’re always so wet,” he shuddered, wasting no time and pushing a thick finger into your hole, making you nearly jump out of your seat on his lap. Instead, though, you simply arched your hips up against his finger, letting out a deep exhale. “And so warm.”

“Oh!” you yelped out in pleasant shock when Christopher added another finger, fully stretching you out now and sending a buzzing vibration up your spine. 

“Thought you didn’t want anybody to hear us?” Christopher taunted you, lips hot against your ear. 

“Ugh,” you moaned, rolling your eyes. “Just—please.”

“Please what?” Christopher asked, all while quickening the pace of his fingers inside you, switching from slow, scissoring motions to a fast slam that caused you to collapse against his chest, your legs pried open. Christopher moaned to himself at the feeling of your wet slick against his fingers, the way he could feel you getting wetter as he pushed his fingers in and out of your hot entrance. 

“Please fuck me,” you whined, your voice taking on an entirely new high pitch as you jolted into the pleasure and the change of pace. 

“‘M gonna fuck you, don’t you worry your pretty little head,” Christopher kept pushing his learned fingers into you, hitting your g-spot with ease. “Gonna make you take my cock.”

“M-mhm,” you gasped out. Chris wanted to see this through, but the way he was straining against his pants was killing him. It was painful not to be able to be inside of you. 

“Fuck, I’m taking this off,” he announced, and you both fumbled together to unzip your skirt and toss it onto the floor. His pants and boxers came next, along with your panties. All thrown carelessly around the room. Then he lifted you and turned you around so you were facing him, straddling him on his desk chair. You were already desperately grinding against the base of his cock, your arousal trailing up his shaft. 

“You’re such a fucking slut,” Christopher’s voice seemed to grind into a growl as he watched you roll your hips desperately against his cock. 

“Please,” you pouted, his words passing through you like a gust of wind— you hardly registered them. You were too busy grabbing at his cock and trying to 

“Why’d you really come here, huh? To get fucked?”

You hated and loved how easy it was for him to turn you into putty. 

more soon i promithhh <3 keep me on my toes yall

[melonsharks]

Tell us everything about the parent trap au immediately please please please

to give u an insanely quick rundown with a wip art i have:

aziraphale as elizabeth. wedding dress designer under his pen name A.Z. Fell. (hes an artist as confirmed in s2 and the whole "drawing on napkins" thing elizabeth would do appeals to me immensely)

crowley as nick. owns a vineyard. I NEED HIM TO OWN A VINEYARD SO BAD. shoutout to Old Vines on ao3 for changing me in a fundamental way. he makes wines and he tends to the vines and he is so passionate about it to an abusurdist degree. he yells at his vines when they arent growing right. you already knowwww.

when they meet for the first time, they don’t meet on a boat like in the movie, they actually meet at a wedding party :J crowley was a wine collector, just starting out. he loved offering aziraphale samplings of his most vintage collection out of impulse. (he likes seeing the way aziraphale savors them) (he’s besotted) Wants to own his own vineyard one day. aziraphale, on the other hand, has dreams of becoming a fashion designer of sorts, always drawing ideas on any scraps of paper he can find. his designs are very old fashioned, but thats like… part of the appeal. his work very much reflects who he is, and the people who flock to it understand that.

they enter this kind of… whirlwind relationship, they get married, and then eventually adopt two golden haired blue eyed baby boys. twins. :J warlock and adam.

they break things off because aziraphale leaves... alluding to their recent breakup in season two, the reason he left was because "we both clearly had very different ideas on where our lives were going. so. i packed up and left." (parallel s2 divorce 😋 they don’t know how to talk to each other) (aziraphale throws a book at his head after this argument, like the hairdryer in the movie LOL. it was pride and prejudice. crowley still has it.)

aziraphale leaves with adam. warlock is left with crowley. crowley eventually leaves London because he finds he cant stand being anywhere near Aziraphale (hes just irresistible in that way), and he goes to California where he finally fulfills his dream of owning a vineyard. a nice one on Napa, Northern California.

Aziraphale’s wedding dresses become more and more well known, Adam grows well-adjusted. Same kid you know from the show and book, natural born leader, a good head on his shoulders. (Aziraphale has no idea why Adam is like that, but he is so proud)

Crowley’s vineyard (The Garden Of Eden) grows and grows… Warlock is spoiled rotten, but he does love actually working at the vineyard with Crowley to and he and Crowley have a really good relationship…

Eventually the kids go to a summer camp together in London (i dont know if they . do this in the UK, but suspend your disbelief if you will) Adam meets The Them there, then meets Warlock after a nutty fencing thing, they kind of hate each other at first and the rest is history :J

side characters UM. LOL. idk……. i mean i kind of know but not really? theres just so many possibilities that make the rounds in my head. chessy could be anathema OR nina (ive had people suggest eric too?) and martin could be newt OR maggie (ive also had people suggest muriel????) gestures vaguely.

as for meredith…….erm…………🤷‍♂️ ive had everything under the sun suggested to me and i still……have no idea. LOL. gabriel, lucifer, shaX, FURFUR, THE WIFE FROM THE NON-SPOILER SPOILERS. I DONT KNOW. IT ALL FEELS WRONG. its hard to come up with this role in particular when these gay bitches literally only have eyes for each other. always. forever. u know. i think lucy is like. the classic answer. but idfk.

ask me about . more things if u want. this is consuming my every thought.

anyways the cover im working on for. for something:

[oldworldwidgets]

TEDDY TIME TEDDY TIME

howdy pardners this is theodore dawson, my courier from new vegas :3 he is very large and very angry yet very soft and very gay and he is so precious to me

here's his playlist!! once again it's chronological so u can listen to his story like a fun yeehaw jukebox musical. i think his is my favorite of all my character playlists

alllll the teddy stuff (appearance, stats, story before the canon events of the game, fun facts) can be found under the cut!!! if you feel so inclined to read The Long Version written like a story where my longwinded ass spends about 7k words talking about themes and character motivations (and some soft gay longing perhaps), it's up on ao3 here.

appearance

41 years old; birthday may 3, 2240

6’6 with broad shoulders, generally built like a securitron.

patches of vitiligo splash across his face, chest, and arms

bennys bullet hit the right side of his face, carving a path from his eye to his ear, where a chunk of his ear is missing

because of this, he's blind in his right eye. the blind eye (a light, milky blue) is always a bit more closed than the seeing one (a dark, warm brown)

dark auburn chin-length hair and a short beard, both peppered with white because of his age and vitiligo. a big chunk of hair behind his ear is white as it grows from the scar.

he wears a horse or cow-skin vest with a great khans patch on the back

signature black cowboy hat, either on the top of his head or tied around his neck so it hangs down his back

gold jewelry - dangly cross earring in his left ear, upside down cross on a leather strap around his neck, big ass belt buckle

bright red shotgun shells on leather belt slung around his waist for his shotgun, dinner dell

stats

SPECIAL: 8, 1, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10

favorite perks: confirmed bachelor, animal friend, ferocious loyalty, intimidating presence

story

his dad was raised in utah and was very strictly mormon. when new jerusalem collapsed, dad moved himself, his wife, and his first son to the mojave and found work on an NCR sharecropper farm.

teddy was born fifth of six kids: four older brothers and one younger sister. he, his sister hannah, and his brother noah all have very visible vitiligo.

the kids were all also raised strictly mormon. his whole childhood, they were very poor. "at least we have each other" poor. his dad blamed it on the NCR, who owned the house and land and animals they ranched. they owned nothing, and the NCR paid them little more than that. teddy was quickly disillusioned with the NCR, then with the three of his brothers who decided to join them. one brother stayed back to inherit the ranch.

turns out, the NCR was paying; dad was just gambling it all away. he was so deeply in debt to all the families on the strip that they all decided to cut their losses and burn his farm to the ground.

that's... that's the story teddy decided to tell hannah, anyway (he wouldnt tell u this but he totally burnt that shit down on purpose). mom, dad, and one of his brothers were lost in the fire. teddy and hannah made it out, waved goodbye, parted ways.

teddy took his horse, old red, and began running jobs for whoever needed them. he never tied himself to one organization aaand his jobs weren't always above the ethical board. really, it was luck of the draw that, on any given day, he was the one defending the caravan instead of stealing from it

when he eventually went searching for his siblings, he found that two of the three brothers that had enlisted, predictably, were killed on duty. noah, though, had absconded almost immediately upon arrival due to a nasty chem habit

he found hannah "working" in front of gomorrah on the stip - her vitiligo made them instantly recognizable to each other - but she pretended not to know him because she was ashamed. he understood and gave up, but not before she hinted that he could find noah at the old mormon fort

he did, in fact, find noah there, medically detoxing under the care of some hot, blonde doctor (bweheheh....). they reconnected and it was..... really nice, even when they talked about how ashamed their dad would be if he could see them. it didnt matter. the family disappointments were the only family survivors.

teddy and arcade quickly grew very fond of each other, with arcade even being the first one to call him "teddy" after he told the doctor his name was theodore. he decided, despite its cutesy nature, to keep it.

after finishing his open jobs, teddy decided to stay with noah at the fort and run jobs for the followers when they needed it. he got reeeal comfy with arcade, and their subtle, playful flirtations eventually became noticeable to others. his brother, angry and sick from chem withdrawal and still fighting his religious upbringing, could not handle finding out that his baby brother was gay. when he did, he angrily shouted slurs and threw bottles at them until he was sedated and returned to bed.

teddy left the fort that night while everyone but the night watchman slept. he struggled to recover from what happened and drifted listlessly for a while... until he heard the news that noah had fled from his "rehab" program in the fort the day after teddy left, overdosed, and died.

the news spurred something in him, and he went looking for a real family and place to call home. after excelling in his initiation trials, he found one with the great khans. for two years, he was their resident rancher, runner, therapist, you name it.

then: 2278. the bitter springs massacre. teddy was away when it happened, and he still hasnt forgiven himself for it.

he spent the next three years drifting - again. hunting NCR. somehow racking up bounties in seemingly every single tribe in the mojave. his infamy, believe it or not, helped him survive: when he came across those who would kill him or turn him in, they seemed to prioritize who got to turn him in and collect the bounty over keeping themselves alive. whoops!

it was exhausting, though. drifting, killing, taking on the wasteland completely alone (except his beloved animals) took a heavy toll on teddy. he'd always been a killer and an outlaw, but he'd always been paid to clear other people's consciences. now, he felt he was only killing people to run from the consequences of his own actions. it was exhausting.

so, when three strangers – one in a loud, black-and-white checkered blazer – tried to knock him out and bind his hands, well… he had no reason not to let them.

*aint that a kick in the head starts blaring*

fun facts

hes not a big chem guy but hes such an alcoholic. in game he keeps at least 10 whiskeys on him at all times but would prefer to drink a sarsaparilla over using a stimpak.

he needs glasses pretty badly for his one seeing eye but he’s too stubborn to wear them

his scars always look a bit irritated because he doesnt take care of himself

he was a big pistol guy before benny shot him, but after he went blind in his aiming eye and started suffering from bouts of dizziness, he became a shotgunner. they require a far-from-perfect style of aiming

[mephistopheles]

retconning spock to have a secret sibling was a shitty move in 1989 and an even shittier one now. her being human and ostensibly raised alongside him is weird too bc my man spock has a literally decades-long character arc of rejecting anything human and finally learning to love it in others and in himself through his found family on the enterprise. imo it cheapens his backstory to be like “lol he had a human sister and a super non-vulcan brother all along” anyway whatever, fine. but they should’ve gotten fucking silly w it. sybok and michael having human-ing contests like seeing who can laugh louder while spock tries not to scream. michael pulling aspects of human culture out of her ass and sybok’s like ‘mom is that true’ and amandas like yes sweetie. michael asking if vulcans shake hands and sybok being like ‘yeah go for it’ as revenge. sybok dramatically becoming the first vulcan ever to come out as gay on the exact same day spock was going to do that. violent inter-sibling debates abt who’s oldest bc sybok and spock were born first but michael ages faster. maybe theres differences between human and vulcan colour vision so michael and amanda are constantly wearing the equivalent of vivid chartreuse when foreign dignitaries come over. maybe theres differences in pitch hearing so the boys can drive their sister nuts w a human dog whistle. like if u feel u can’t make ur new female oc important without connecting her to a man, fine, but at least make it funny

[ca-suffit]

re: nobody defending Armand. Not only is he not being defended, I see a lot of people (from both sides of the argument regarding episode 8) assuming things that weren't said about his involvement in the trial. I've seen people say that he wrote and orquestrated the whole thing, when Daniel only said that he directed the play. We've seen before (with My Baby Loves Windows) that Armand directs plays that are not his, he provides notes and stage direction, which is not the same as writing the play. The coven could have forced him to direct the play, and Armand's blame would lie in the fact that he did not try hard enough to stop them and that he lied to Louis. Santiago even takes credit for the play when he's taunting Louis, but because we were shown that Armand can be a dickhead and a liar then that means he must surely be evil in every single way, which is not the treatment that Lestat gets from most of the fandom. The lack of nuance when addressing these characters is a problem in general (I live in fear that Lestat will get flanderized) but it's really noticeable how extreme and malicious it gets with characters of color.

(context)

Assad has already flat out said that Armand was forced to do the play as well and the fandom is ignoring tf out of that

Zaman tells TV Insider’s Damian Holbrook that Armand was “forced” to direct the trial and that all of his subsequent punishment from the coven was “absolutely true.”

“He directed it, but it wasn’t his choice to do it,” Zaman says. (src)

If this were a white character and/or Lestat, it would be plastered in the tags every day.

The fandom has been afraid of this happening since the end of S1 (contrary to the lies being pushed all the time, a lot of ppl always distrusted Armand and knew something was wrong, whether they were book readers or not), but the choices the show made on top of it have made it worse.

I've seen posts claiming that Armand was full body controlling Lestat and making him speak during the trial as well. What???

So we see Lestat abuse Louis and he's admitted to that in canon now as well, but that's the part we're still supposed to think is a lie (according to the fandom)? But with Armand it's just....whatever evil thing u want to make up is prbly true. Ok. Despite Sam just saying all this about Lestat the other week too.

There's such clear parallels between how the show is treating Lestat and Armand and how both have "more" to their stories than we've seen yet. But only Lestat gets cushioned from it all almost entirely, not only by the fandom but the show itself as well between the episodes and the interviews with cast and crew.

Lestat is like "dickhead (affectionate, his background excuses it and it's sassy white gay rep anyway)" and Armand is like "dickhead (said to be affectionate but?? idk why, he was just born like that ig lol [ignores his backstory that involves sex slavery]"

[liluchunnies]

I can gladly tell u why or why not and the pros and cons to shipping smth: 

Iida was either with todoroki or ochako or even sero at times but i hated any ships with sero because that guy looked ugly af

Mina and kirishima WAS a thing but ppl kinda just saw them more as siblings which is the same with denki and mina

Momojirou was popular and still kinda today

Todomomo was also popular and was seen as a more "safe" or "normal" option since ppl were highly obsessed with gay ships so they wanted smth more "normal and "safe" because they also followed the logic of: "everyone needs to be shipped with someone" and if u ship bkdk or kiribaku todoroki would either be with deku or iida

Shigadabi and dabihawks [ESPECIALLY THIS] was popular

Why dabihawks even though dabi's a villain and hawks is a hero: people liked the 'childhood friends au' where hawks would meet touya [dabi's name before he became a villain] after he ran away and they would be friends

Background once again: Hawks was born to criminal parents but he had a really powerful ability so the government was like "yo kid u wanna become a hero? Come with us" type of stuff so hawks wanted to become a hero because of endeavor [his fave hero AND touya's dad]

[Note: hawk's quirk is having giant wings BUT he can control each feather separately so he can save people while also fighting in battle which is how he earned the title of "fastest pro hero"]

Background for touya's part: touya is the eldest siblings of 4 and basically his dad wanted a child with BOTH fire and ice powers [endeavor has fire and rei the mom has ice] and touya only had fire BUT his fire was stronger than endeavor was the dad was like yknow what im satisfied with this.

But endeavor didnt want to stop trying and rei also agreed that giving touya siblings is a great idea [YALL DONT BLAME THE MOM SHE DIDNT KNOW THIS WOULD TURN OUT ABUSIVE ALRIGHT] so fuyumi and natsuo the next two kids only had ice THEN shouto was born who had both powers endeavor wanted so of course he neglected touya's training and focused on shouto instead. So, touya got jealous as he should be since he really did admire his father and wanted to be a hero like him but yknow he was discarded, so one day he wanted to show his dad how powerful he can be so he told his dad "yo come to this mountain u always train at" dad never came and touya lost control of his ability so he allegedly "burned to death with his bones turning to ash and only a part of his jawbone being found" [note: touya also got rei's sensitive and fragile skin which is why touya's body can literally overheat and burn]

It was later revealed that AFO saved touya and patched up his skin.

So u can see the part where it diverges from canon for dabihawks to be a ship + the fact that dabi joins the LOV [league of villains] and hawks joined as a spy

Now why did this ship die down?? The plw [paranormal liberation war] arc happened and along with the heros attacking in the next part, dabi burned down hawk's wings and its even stated that he was never able to fully recover to his "full glory”

——-

So like if ur gonna ask “wtf is this” I found this old message I sent to my friend when I was tweaking out and suddenly started explaining ships to them saur ya GUYS PLEASE THIS IS SATIRE💔💔💔💔

[mrfartpowered]

okay ik I haven’t posted much abt lize’s and my post-canon timeline but I wanna talk abt how the Weinerham Family (weinerhamily) celebrates the 4th of July!!! here’s what u need to know

Randy & Howard are gay married and have a set of twins, June & B (seen on @cunningweiner). Also their legal last name is Weinerham

Mort & Viceroy are gay dating. Hannibal and Marci are happily married as well. the four of them have some sort of polycule thing going on. No they can’t explain it <3 and neither can i

Debbie & Theresa are gay married and family friends of the Weinerhams/the Evil Polycule. they have a son, Dewey, who is a couple years younger than the twins

Heidi is gay dating Morgan and they are #childfree

Bash fucks off to Europe soon after graduating high school and Marci lets him “spread his wings” (he does not attend the family gathering)

they are a very weird, very big, oddly happy family

AND NOW!!! SILLY HOLIDAY ACTIVITIES BELOW THE CUT

Every summer the Weinerman clan & company spend a week at a McFist lake house out at Lake Papoose. The 4th of July usually falls in the middle or the end of these trips, and it’s a huge Thing™️ every time.

When the tradition began, Mort and Viceroy had recently started dating, and Bash was still obligated to attend family vacations. Heidi/Morgan and Theresa/Debbie would not join the group for a couple more years. Randy and Howard were together, but not yet married and not yet fathers. The first 4th of July on the lake, the two of them snuck away from the McFists + Mort with a handful of fireworks, stolen from Viceroy’s stash. They only meant to fuck around with some sparklers, maybe a couple fountains. But SURPRISE! Bash crashes the moment with a bigass Roman candle. Randy and Howard try to shoo him away and it turns into an argument. Mid-scuffle, the Roman candle goes off. A grassfire starts. No one gets hurt, but it’s safe to say everyone is a little peeved for the rest of the trip. Bash only attends one more lake vacation after that before fucking off to Europe.

In the “present day” — meaning, all the kids are born, all the couples are married, the tradition is firmly established — everyone gets along quite well, sans-Bash. Randy and Hannibal kinda grate on each other, even though neither of them can quite put a finger on why the other is so irritating, but their love for the collective family outweighs the annoyance. Heidi and Morgan make incredible cocktails for the adults. Theresa always makes the cutest, tastiest America-themed snacks and desserts. Viceroy and Marci chat for hours on the porch. Debbie and Howard gossip and watch bad Hallmark movies for fun. Dewey, June, and B always get into some shenanigan or other. It’s all quite domestic and fun. In this timeline they really are a weird, happy, tight-knit family. I could go on and on about how everybody interacts with each other but then this post would never ever end

Even bigger than the fireworks, though, is the Annual Weinerman-McFist-Weinerham-Fowler-Kang Paddleboard Tournament on the Water!

Okay, yeah, it’s a mouthful, but here’s the gist of it: on the lake directly behind the McFist lake house, a ways from the shore, two paddle boards are anchored, nearby one another, but far enough apart that they won’t crash. Anyone wanting to participate, whether child or adult, is randomly paired against someone else, forming a tournament bracket. Each pair swims out to the boards, armed with one of those foam jousting sticks. Then. They Fight. In order to move up in the bracket, you must knock your opponent completely into the water.

Why is it such a big deal for the Weinerhamily? Because everyone single one of them is a competitive asshole! Except for Marci and Viceroy, who referee the event. And in order to participate, you must bring something to contribute to the Victory Pile, which is a pile of the brucest prizes, all of which belong to the ultimate winner. And everyone always goes buck-fucking-WILD with the Victory Pile. Fine wines, Disneyworld tickets, $100 gift cards, gaming consoles have all been seen in the Pile.

For a while, the victor changed year to year…until Debbie’s first win. After which, she becomes undefeated. But this doesn’t deter anybody, no — they get MORE competitive trying to take her out. Nobody understands how she’s so good at it. They just know she packs a LOT of force into such a tiny body.

Hannibal’s usually out in the first round (unless he’s paired against a child), at which point he pouts for a while until he remembers that he can spend the rest of the Tournament heckling whoever took him out.

Howard is a force to be reckoned with — low center of gravity makes him hard to knock over! — and so is his girl, June, by sheer force of will. Morgan is also a powerful foe, while Heidi is quite average. Randy has quick reflexives, but is fairly easy to knock over once he runs out of energy to dodge. B usually ends up laughing too hard to actually fight, and Dewey is the youngest, so everyone knows he doesn’t stand a chance. Theresa plays quite casually once her wife starts winning the Victory Pile every year.

that’s really all I wanted to say abt this but PLS feel free to ask me or Lize abt this timeline/the Weinerhamily Lake Holiday in my asks or the replies of this post !!!!!!! happy America day or whatever

[dolliedollprincess]

When I was in school I had a LOT of success stories from just believing in myself heavily, here’s some!

- When in classes, I use to make time speed up, literally all my classes went from 45-1hr to 15mins

- Took all my grades from 70s-80s to 100s & 90s without doing a single lick of work. I never did ANY hw or work in the classroom I was literally just on my phone. When taking tests, I would just choose random answers & I always got back a 100.

-I use to skip class ALL THE TIME, to the point where they told me I need to come in after school hours & make up for it or I wouldn’t pass. Ofc I was like nah, they got the wrong person & they emailed me a week later saying my attendance was perfect & that I had been there every day of the school year LOL this prob my fav one

-Was scripting a whole man, had a dream abt him that night & guess what? In my morning class we had a new student & IT WAS HIM. Unfortunately, I was too freaked out to actually talk to this man but we did have the cutest interactions throughout the school year & I know now if I wanted him he would find his way to me meow!!

-Besides the scripted man, I actually made all my crushes approach me & made them befriend me. These were pretty popular kids so i also became well known :3 I was invited to fun functions w my crushes & all of them had confessed to me. This includes girls & guys, it was just crazy to me that they were attracted to ME I was like :0 no way!! I made everyone gay !!!

-Made sure all my teachers adored me, even the ones people swore were born in hell. They would literally give me 100s for no reason & bring me food & let me skip their classes YUP I would literally tell them I’m skipping ur class and they’d be like ‘okay👋😄 I won’t count u absent’

-Manifested my principal letting us keep a pet rat LMAO this one’s just a silly one but I loved that little dude

-I also just manifested being a people magnet & gained a lot of friends & popularity.

After covid I lost 90% of my friends so I knew I had to do something abt it or the rest of my school years would be hot garbage. Inspiration if you’re still in school, YOU GOT THIS !!!!

[goldenageofwireless]

wait can u give me a quick rundown of ur ocs… so i can ask questions abt them 👀

yes ofc !!!! OK SO. My guy that im like hyperfixated on right now is Emil, he's a mad scientist guy and he SUCKS. basically he's just always been a pain in the ass since he was born and never really made an effort to be a better person. Also he's really fucking smart. He ends up getting really famous and wealthy cuz he invented something really cool (still hammering out deets on this, i like the idea of some kinda neural implant or advanced surveillance tech tho). He enjoys living in luxury but hates the constant attention, so one day he decides to abandon it all and isolate himself in his lab in rural Louisiana. He stays in isolation for like 5 or so years and gets soooo depressed. and keeps thinking gay thoughts about his former lab partner .... (i'll get to them in a bit) he just kinda ignores All That and keeps working. Until his lab partner shows up at his door and is like DUDE YOUR INVENTION CAUSED THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD. and then they go on a lil road trip together to stop the Big Bad and Emil learns to stop sucking so much and take accountability for his actions :3 also heres a doodle i did of him recently <3

[ID: a digital drawing of op's character, Emil, visible from the waist up. Emil is a fat, white man with messy orange hair. He is wearing a white, short-sleeved lab coat, black gloves, and a purple button-up shirt. The shirt is unbuttoned a bit, and his cleavage is visible. He has green goggles on his head, and he's wearing colored contact lenses. His left eye is green, and his right is purple. He's frowning and glancing to the right/end ID] so Sahir !! They were Emil's lab partner in grad school. They're a botanical psychologist (some shit i made up, they're researching the cognitive abilities of plants). They've always been the quiet, out of the way, people-pleaser type. Emil kept them around bc they just went along with whatever he did. ANYWAY they always kinda had a crush on Emil and even when he ditched them when he got famous, they didn't stop thinking of him </3 So when shit goes down bc of his big fuckup they go find him and basically don't leave him alone until he gets off his ass and fixes it. They're still not really comfortable with standing up to him, so they just keep letting him be a dick to them until they just. have enough and totally snap. and that's kinda the inciting incident that makes Emil realize how much of a dick he is and why thats Bad actually. So Sahir's whole personal journey is basically unlearning their people-pleaser mentality and gaining confidence in themself <3 SO theyre the only two that really have a solid storyline at this point, i have a few misc guys ill drop tho :) ok so first up there's Mal (short for Malpractice Lawsuit), she's basically liiiike if u took the concept of capitalistic greed and made it into a lesbian robot <3 shes evil and she sucks and shes sooo hot and i wanna write her into emil and sahir's storyline but im not sure how atm !! but perhaps i will figure it out eventually !! and theres Marvin, he's a lil guy robot and my fav oc :3 he's just small and silly and also a genius who does Epic Cool Hacking Stuff but hes also an 8 year old who eats dirt then theres Hugo and Vicki, theyre cool and gay :) Hugo is the most anxious man alive (also hes from boston) and Vicki is a demon who just decided that xey like him and they hang out. not much story there they just kiss each other a lot

so yah !!! thats my guys !!!

[callmegaith]

Dale Vandermeer u were born at the wrong time I know gays who would kill to be able to call you daddy for 1 night

You would not be alone and single in today's day and age

[yonderghostshistories]

I'm planning on starting that MP Regency AU fanfiction! What should I include? (U, PG and 18+ suggestions are all welcome!)

OH MY GOD YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING IT?!?!!? LESS GOOOOOOO!!!!!

Ok uhh here's my suggestions!! :

-All (well technically 3) the Pythons have a really specific kinda Regency royal/heir-like title/nicknames to them based on where they were born (i.e some random examples; John Cleese, Earl of Weston-super-Mare, Captain/Admiral/General Graham Chapman, Duke of Leicester, Terry "Jonesy" Jones, Baron of Colywn Bay of North Wales). Then you have Vicar Michael Palin (of Sheffield), Baron Terry Gilliam from Paris, France (he says he's a Baron but the others don't really believe him and thinks he's really a phony or something lol), and self proclaimed "Maestro" Eric Idle (from the local Cheshire pub). Then you also have Stableboy Neil (Innes)/Neil the humble Stableboy, Countess Carol Cleveland and Countess Connie Booth (in this AU, Connie is Carol's older half-sister/cousin) of London, Lieutenant David Sherlock (Gray's second-in-command in the army, and also love interest but pretends to just "be friends" so to not make people suspicious about their relationship with eachother, etc!

-Gray is both a highly respected army official by day (at work technically), and a promiscuously gay playboy by night (when he has the time off doing the army business). He smokes alot too.

-Jonesy ends up with Regency era Denise Coffey and learns that she's not as "bad" as anyone makes her out to be. She's considered"bad" because she's apparently "too common" to fit with society. In other words, society thinks she's "too unattractively normal" to be considered pretty, to which she politely says bullshit to :).

-John and Gray are childhood best friends with eachother. Michael and Jonesy are also childhood best friends with eachother. Eric and Terry tags along as well.

-John becomes instantly uhh "emo" and tragic and moody and cold because of his recent breakup with his (ex-)fiancé Connie, even though they just broke up since almost a week ago. He mopes about it all the bloody time that even his friends start to get annoyed by it all, and it makes even his own sappy poetry look like decent stuff.

-Eric and Neil meet up at the weekends to play as a musical duo at the local Cheshire pub. Eric is, ofc, sorta homeless, meaning he has to to stay over at Neil's cottage house but also stay at the local taverns until he has to pay rent.....but mostly he chills out at Neil's house.

-Eric gets a "rags to riches" kinda story where, with the help of Gray who just so happen to be at the local Cheshire pub to "meet a special friend of his" (which is ofc David) in which Gray overhears the pretty good singing, he agrees to hire Eric as his servant and give him a permanent place to stay and enough money to live by. Eric is ecstatic ofc!

-Michael is a kind and innocent vicar, a follower of god, but he's a bit horny too! He particularly has a crush on a nice and kind woman called Helena (who runs the local bookshop in the town). Mike has the hots for Helen but knows he can't actually ask her out due to him being religious and stuff and it apparently going against the rules to marry whilst preaching about god or something. However, he tries to get around this by starting out slow, via becoming companions with Helena by helping her with the bookshop part-time. It all seems going to plan. However, things start to get a bit too *spicy* when Michael accidentally sees Helena in her regency era undergarments (which is a "stay"-kinda undergarment) just as she was about to get unchanged. As if it couldn't get any worse, the stunned Michael commits the greatest sin he has ever committed.......he sees a bit of her bare back. That alone is enough to make Michael faint. Helena, being the good and understanding friend she is, helps Michael get back to life and takes care of the poor soul. Michael is grateful for Helena helping him, but feels guilty for seeing her like that. Helena tells him that it's ok and that it was an accident at the end of the day. Michael smiles, and out of the repressed passion he held back for all these years, he slowly cups her face and begins kissing Helena, and Helena, at first surprised, is then quickly eased and understands and kisses back Michael. Michael and Helena then have the most excruciatingly passionate sex that night, and both are left satisfied.

-Gray meets David in an abandoned farmhouse, and they both announce their feelings for one another, and they both kiss passionately and uhh have the most beautiful gay sex one could ever hope.

-There's alot of "characters running through the moors" whenever the character starts a new relationship, romantic or platonic.

-Gray wakes up naked every morning after each promiscuous affair.

-Terry the Parisian Artist develops a romance with the ""weird"" woman who runs the tailoring clothes shop, Ms Margret "Maggie" Weston. Terry & Maggie bond over their shared weirdness and love for absurdities in life.

-John and Connie began an (almost) lifelong romance (before they broke up) when they were young teenagers of about 16/15 at a ball one night. From there on, they hit it off with each other pretty well. The young John and Connie then sneakily exited from the ballroom, then they snuck out and playfully ran to the garden maze and then snogged each other all night long.

-The Pythons and Co go to a regency era fairground/carnival and have a lovely, fun time there. They also get to ride on the merry-go-round on the merry-go-round horses!

Uhh hope you enjoyed the ideas I gave! Let me know which of the ideas is your favourite and why? I absolutely can't wait to read it!!

[noxiatoxia]

OKWY here is the plan: I AM NOT KILLING MYSELF though that would be kind of #epic it would also be a waste cuzzz like im gonna die 1 day and well to speed it up its like? ok...i could do drugs at least b4 i die like thats just quitting the game before u get to the good part homie. SO HERE IS DA MASTER PLAN:

i am not going to GIVE A SWAG! i will continue to mingle with da humans as i have been doing....if something sucks HIT DA BRICKS! accepting&learning that if people think im crazy and weird Well i am not one of them so it is Bound to happen. i see other people online feel the same as me and it makes me feel better to know there are others who were not meant to be born out there, i think we should form a club or something. the CON to my plan is i dunno how to get rid of my human-socialized feelings but i will work on it....... i think reading aloud its funny saying im not human or w/e it makes me feel like a kinnie larping on miiverse remember that. but i dont mean it in like a , im dragonkin way or w/e. i just mean i do not belong hereeee idek what i am but i am certainly not a human in soul. body yes. i need to unlearn the idea i am human so these socialized emotions of being an outsider do not hurt so much. it only hurts from the perspective of bein human bc not to connect with the pack sucks but like i AM an outsider so it makes sense, i should not feel bad abt this and i will do my darndest to learn that. my family LOVES ME like they love the pet dog, i am their little thing. they adopted my soul and loved me enough to pretend i am one of them and for that i find them very kind. same 2 all my friends.....whether or not they can tell i do not belong or not....like people make friends with ROCKS i think a human with an incorrect soul is objectively a more normal type of friend to have.

yessir. so. if anyone out there also is not human and has tips about coping with that fact/coming to terms lmk bc i dont know where to start and speeding shit up would be great 🙄 dunno how to deal with the whole creature/crazy/weird thing cuz like even if i AM crazy or weird or w/e being called that is like. derogatory. y'know like calling a woman a cunt like they may have a vagina but thats still NOT NICE TO SAY !?!? but as they say.....haters gonna hate.... much like how the homophobes do not like the Gays i dont believe every human is gonna like me on account of being Not human.

[thistlefur]

I love Shoshana! What's her story?

glad u asked..

she was originally from a small colony in the twolegplace out by leveeclan. their colony consisted just of their family, most of which being her older siblings + their mates/kits and one surprise kitten born after her. most of her siblings actually didnt survive past kithood, so there are large age gaps between the surviving siblings.

the colony was lead by her father, with her oldest brother as his right hand man. while it wasn't maliciously suppressive under them, they were insanely overprotective of the mollies in the colony due to the hereditary issues surrounding pregnancy and kitting. every tom the girls wanted to be with had to be vetted by the patriarchs and most of the time they were rejected until a suitable tom was found. this was not the case for the son's mates, something shoshana saw as unfair.

growing up she was the baby for most of her life and was often treated as such. it frustrated her because she wanted to be treated fairly like her brothers were and wasn't allowed to wander very far, much less on her own. she resorted to sneaking away often, and unfortunately got caught most times due to her clumsy nature at the time.

she met ermine and jackrabbit when they were all young adults (just shy of 13-15 moons old) when the boys came all the way from the valley to trade some resources with leveeclan (ermine had chicken eggs, wool, and chicken feathers from the farm, jackrabbit had herbs that leveeclan couldn't find much of where they lived)

she clicked with them instantly, getting along with fellow-extrovert jackrabbit like a house on fire while shy, awkward ermine was immediately enraptured by her pretty face and followed the two of them around like a dog. the toms would make routine visits, sometimes to get away from home and other times for trading business, and ermine especially would go out of his way to find shoshana.

they fell in love quick and she eventually introduced him to her family - they were not pleased since he lived so far away and smelled weird. shoshana wouldn't cave in, though, and soon eloped with her new lover to the farm. (also side note theyre polyam - ermine is currently partners with both shoshana and jackrabbit but the latter two are not romantically involved since jackrabbit is gay lol)

the pair struggled to have kits for a good few moons until they finally conceived. the pregnancy was rough on her and she got sick numerous times, but thankfully jackrabbit wasnt too far away and would sometimes stay a few days at a time.

while she made it through kitting, one of the kits was stillborn which devastated her greatly. still, she and ermine did their best to make sure the remaining 2 would survive. unfortunately, only sable made it past the winter.

as a result she became rather protective and fussy over her son, repeating the same thing her own parents did to her. though with ermine's more hands-off-but-watchful approach and the rest of the farm colony there to help raise him, she managed to reel herself in and stop before she ends up smothering him. she's still rather neurotic, though, and sometimes has moments where she fusses too much or gets in fights over curfew.

she and ermine tried to have kits again multiple times to no avail. all it did was make her depressed and she lost steam, giving up entirely. at some point after this she was TNR'd by the farmers on the property. it was certainly a shock to her at first but she resigned herself to it since she'd given up on having kits again anyway.

motherhood wouldn't end with sable, though, as she helped the other mollies of the farm colony raise their kittens. later, a young, expecting tom from hootclan named driftwood approached her and ermine and asked if they would raise his and stoathawk's kits after they were born. ermine was hesitant to the idea and pushed back, claiming it was stoathawk's responsibility to be a father and that hootclan could help care for them as well. shoshana's desperation to have kits of her own again made her accept the offer immediately but ermine and driftwood (and later stoathawk, as he is ermine's half brother) would go back and forth on it.

(aside: it wasn't about not wanting to raise someone else's kits but instead ermine's trauma of being abandoned by his bio father rearing its ugly head for the first time in a long time. he expected stoathawk, someone whose father had been present, to understand the consequences and make sure those kits were taken care of and being responsible. it blinded him for a while and he wasn't able to see that stoat and drift genuinely were not prepared to be parents. more on that later tho lol!!!)

ultimately ermine conceded and it was arranged that driftwood would stay at the barn once he got closer to delivery. shoshana was fretting and pacing as if she were the one pregnant and was there to help driftwood in those last few weeks.

when the immediate postpartum phase became life threatening for driftwood, shoshana thought quickly enough to bring the twolegs over to help him, even climbing into the truck with them on the way to the vet.

luckily driftwood would be saved, but shoshana was brought home to the farm while he stayed to recover. once home she immediately assumed position as a queen for the newborns junebug and beachbug. it took some outside help for her to produce milk again but they got it to work and she fed them with no problem. she and ermine raised those two as their own.

of course, she felt some jealousy and possessiveness when driftwood would come back and try to bond with them, but he would reassure her that he trusts her to raise them more than he does himself and appreciates her greatly for what shes done for him. shoshana likes driftwood a lot despite the bitter feelings that creep up every now and then.

currently the twins are in the apprentice-age-range but with every passing day she cant help but feel pride and love for all her kittens regardless of blood.

shoshana is a quick witted, independent molly with a lot of love to give, though sometimes it may come off as too much and smothering at times. she's always aspired to be a mother and caretaker and does her part to help other queens with their kits, having done so for her sisters' and brothers' kits while growing up. she, ermine, and jackrabbit are happy together and she's deeply proud of sable, beachbug, and junebug even if they are a bit rowdy and break the curfew rules more often than not - they remind her of herself when she was young and she has to tell herself to let them make their own choices. she's overall a very powerful and loyal ally to have.