#garrus i love you but shut up

[ferniliciousness]

Mass effect headcannon for you cause I can't share with anyone else lmao

Ok when you first go to the citadel after Eden Prime in me1 the vi guide tells you that it's the first time You've been there. So tell me, after you recruit Garrus (who lives on the Citadel and has for years atp), WHY ARE WE THE ONE LEADING THE GROUP!

I got lost so much my first playthrough and still continue to do so after 40+ hours in the first game (2nd playthrough). You cannot tell me that Garrus does not joke with Shepard about how they constantly get lost, and it just gets worse as they get to know each other more. The mercenary outposts where you get lost in the maze, the tunnels on Feros, or the labyrinth that is the hallways on noveria. Hell I couldn't find the garage entrance on noveria for 10 minutes and was running around like a crazy person.

(bonus points if Wrex is on your squad cause you know he's just encouraging Garrus)

And yes this trend continued into the second and third game. To the point where I was yelling at Garrus for Shepard because I just know he was being a smartass about it lmao.

Garrus: Shepard, we've literally been here 50 times before. How are you still lost? I think I should be concerned atp.

Shepard: oh shut up Garrus, I'm sure this is all very funny. (Goes down the wrong hallway again)

Tali: (shaking their head in disappointment while desperately trying not to laugh)

[incorrectly-quoted-queers]

Garrus: Shepard, I have a question Shepard: Ask away Garrus: I will warn that it does feel... strange Shepard: Just fucking ask, bud Garrus: Remember when we were walking through Chora's Den and asking those dancers about that merc we were after? Shepard: ...Yes? Garrus: Well when I got back to my bunk that night I found a note in my armor with information on how to contact her Shepard: So what, she has more answers for us? We should call her. Garrus: Shut up, I'm not finished. After her information, she wrote, "call me at night and read me the phone book, baby" Shepard: Garrus: Shepard: Garrus: What the fuck does that mean? Shepard:...You should read me the phone book one night and we'll find out Garrus: Shepard this isn't funny Shepard: Kinda funny Garrus: What is a phone book? Why would I read it? Shepard, giggling too hard: Garrus: Shepard! I'm serious! Shepard, struggling to breathe: I bet the food deliveries section would get particularly spicy Garrus: You know what, fuck you Shepard: I'm sure that's something the dancer would love to hear Garrus: Shepard: Garrus: She was hitting on me Shepard: Yes. Yes she was

[sol-consort]

ASGEJDK thank you for dignifying my ask with such a wonderful response, it was *chef's kiss*. Delicious. Thank you for the food. Prepare to have me with my mind in the gutter in your ask box every few days about this man.

Steering away from the horny, I found out (or maybe I knew and just forgot) a few days ago that turian shells are made out of metal, aka humans can potentially stick fridge magnetic on them

Oh please do! I don't really have any other anon besides you atm. Ones that request things at least even drabbles <3 so thank you so much for being here. I would love to talk about that man endlessly, i am down bad for most characters in this game like 90% of the turian npcs can hit it raw.

I did read about the metal thing before when I was reading their wiki because I couldn't understand what the fuck their skin is. Apparently they're birds and not lizards so their skin isn't leathery but metalic and shell like texture? It evolved to protect them from the radiation of their planet.

Imagine the crew playing a mini game with Garrus where they try to sneak as many firdge magnets onto his back or head before he could notice.

You're the leading one in this, coming up to him with the pretense of a friendly hug as you let him pick you up and nuzzle his beak against your neck. The slightest raspy purring sound coming from the back of his throat as your hands move to let the magent slip onto his head fringe.

There is a whiteboard in the kitchen where you keep scores, winner by the end of the week gets to pick the luxury non-military rations for the next week.

With the smirk on Garrus's face, you have the slightest suspicion that he is aware of this scheme and leeching hugs off of you while keeping you well fed with your favourite food. But he can't let the rouse up. Otherwise, the rest of the crew gets suspicious.

They'd probably try it with EDI, too, bc she is fully metalic, but she catches them in the act too soon, and Joker shuts down the game. Meanwhile, Legion actually likes having fridge magents on themselves and steals them off of Garrus's back to use as decorations.

[strawberrykidneystone]

From Earth with Love

summary: phone sex with garrus while shepard is in lockdown on earth

a/n: garrus’ voice y’all…..

tws: voice kink, phone sex, masturbation, turian male genetalia written as hemipenes, cursing, intentionally all lower case, implied exhibitionism

ao3 link

it had been a week since shepard had been on earth and she already had cabin fever.

there was only one person who she wanted to talk to.

or turian she should say.

shepard was laying back against her headboard and pulled up her omni-tool. it had limited access and the call would definitely be monitored, but at this point, she didn't care. the ache in her legs was enough for her to disregard any shame she might've felt otherwise.

as she pressed the call button, she waited with bated breath as her hand found her way under her pajama shorts. she started rubbing her clit and closed her eyes as she imagined it was garrus' fingers instead. suddenly the voice that she had been dying to hear came online, "hello? shepard?"

shepards breath hitched at the rumble of his deep voice and as it went straight to her core, her hand momentarily stopping, "garrus... i need you."

"shepard, you know you can't have any unregulated visitors on earth right now-"

"that's not what i mean vakarian. i mean i need you right now."

"oh. oh."

garrus knew what kind of effect his voice had on shepard, ever since their shared night together before the collectors, he felt how her body reacted whenever he praised her. it was nice to know that she longed for him as much as he missed her, but a call like this was still somewhat unexpected. he couldn't help but feel pity for whoever had to listen to the recording of her calls.

"you sound positively breathless shepard, did you already start without me?" he teased as he hastily got up from the basic grey desk and locked his office door. being a “reaper expert” had given him his own office that he didn't use very often, but it was very convenient for moments like this. he sat back in his plush chair and unbuckled the armor of the bottom part of his plates. his hemipenes extended from his slit as he imagined her touching herself, holding both shafts in his hand, running his blunt thumb talon over the heads.

shepard huffed and rolled her eyes, "you were taking too long vakarian, wish you were here right now," she said in a sultry tone and started to circle her clit again.

"yeah? what would you want me to do if I was there, hm? spare no details sweetie," he purred and started stroking himself, squeezing at the base every so often.

"well," she thought and bit her lip, "i would want you on your knees in front of me with my legs over your shoulders, i'd want you to fuck me with your tongue the way you know i like."

garrus groaned and bucked his hips up just thinking about the taste of her, he'd give anything to be buried in between her thighs right now, "god i miss the way you taste shepard, i'd fuck you with my tongue all night if you let me."

shepard audibly whimpered and inserted a finger into her hole, curling her knuckles towards her and thrusting them inside herself, "I just can't fill myself like you do garrus." she knew that saying that would inflate his ego, but her brain was already going fuzzy from pleasure.

garrus purred in appreciation and thrusted up into his hand, picturing her on top of him, riding both of his cocks with both of them stuffed inside of her. "I know shepard, I know. if I was there, i'd fill you up with just one, until I could feel that you were ready. then i'd split you open with my second cock and stuff you full. you'd like that wouldn't you shepard? my good girl, your little fingers can't fill you up the way I can."

shepard groaned and arched her back, putting two more fingers inside of herself and squeezing her eyes shut as she imagined garrus filling her up with both of his lengths. "god yes please, need you inside me, miss your cocks so much", she whimpered and rubbed her clit with her thumb as her fingers tried their best to intimidate the lengths she was fantasizing about.

"oh? i can hear that you're close already, are you gonna cum for me?" he said smugly and happily clicked his mandibles. he really had no room to tease her, he wasn't too far from cumming himself.

she whined and used her free hand to tug on the back of her hair, just like he would, "garrus please, need your voice to cum."

garrus let out a raspy moan and increased the pace of his hand, the heads of his cocks starting to swell, "you're doing so good for me shepard, filling yourself with your fingers but still being so empty. god i need to be in that tight little pussy again, so good and tight around me, nothing can compare to you, squeezing ever last drop out of me every goddamn time."

"yes- yes!" she shamelessly moaned as his voice and praise pushed shepard over the edge, cumming on her fingers. lightyears away, hearing her climax made garrus cream all over his hand.

the two sat in silence for a minute, listening to the other pant and catch their breath over the audio of the omni-tool.

"so..."

"so."

"i miss you garrus."

"i miss you too shepard."

"can we talk again soon?"

garrus chuckled, "to do this again or to actually talk."

"depends on you big guy." she teased and giggled softly, cleaning herself up. garrus used the tissues on his desk to wipe himself up and buckled his armor back into place.

"how about a mix of business and pleasure? i'd love to catch you up on the outside world that you're missing inside that prison of yours."

"they prefer the term 'house arrest' for all intensive purposes."

"i personally would call the whole thing crap."

"careful vakarian, big brother's listening."

"big brother?"

"yeah, you know, 1984? the book?"

"..."

"not in the turian education system huh."

"nope."

the two of them continued their conversation deep into the night, and had many similar nights over the next 6 months.

wk: 1,030

[vakarianshepard]

N7 Day 2- Reflection

I had several ideas for this; but since the ME2 love theme is called Reflections, I thought I would write my take on the shakarian pre SM scene :)

Garrus POV; ~1.2 k words

The rumble of the engines was the only sound in the battery. Garrus sat on a crate, head bowed. His omni-tool flashed with a new message twice, then went dark again. His shoulders hunched under the weight of his sister’s words. Mom’s treatments weren’t working anymore. Sol was upset, and why wouldn’t she be? Why shouldn’t she be?  Damn it, he thought, I’m just a washed-up vigilante playing Spectre. How can—

He sat there, staring at his feet for several minutes, mind replaying his regrets in vivid color.  Sighing, he straightened up and steeled himself; this was it. He didn’t want to fight with her; not on the way to a likely suicide mission. He shook his head, trying and failing to clear his thoughts. 

“You’re right, Sol,” he typed, “I’m sorry.” 

Her reply was immediate, “No, I’m sorry. Things are rough with Mom, and the salarians are expensive.” 

Garrus felt something twist in his chest, a deep, aching pang of guilt, helplessness; hell, he wasn’t even sure. “I wish I could help,” he replied, feeling woefully inadequate. He wanted to reassure her; he wanted to tell her that he’d come back soon. That he could keep his word this time. But, as the Normandy glided toward her fate, whatever that might be, he couldn’t bring himself to make another empty promise. Instead, he continued, “I’m going on a trip. Might be away from the relays for a while. Tell Mom—tell her I’m thinking of her.” 

Solana answered back with a joke, and he accepted it for the olive branch it was. He promised to call her back when he could; he hoped he would get the chance to. Joker’s voice cut through the ship, “ETA to Omega-4 relay 2 hours,” and he jolted. Damn, that didn’t leave much time to get ready and get to Shepard. He grabbed the bottle of wine he’d picked up on Illium and stopped to examine his reflection. He grimaced at the angry scarring that marred the right side of his face. Months later, it looked better, but he’d only recently gotten the nerve to stop wearing the bandages that covered it. Garrus smoothed his free hand over his tunic one last time, then left the battery, an odd sense of calm washing over him at the prospect of seeing Shepard. 

He could hear her humming as he got off the elevator. At once, he felt the anxiety return, every second of research he’d done flying out of his mind. Crap. Too late to turn back now, he tapped the panel, the door opening to reveal Alexa toweling off her short red hair. She turned as the door opened, a smile breaking across her face, disarming him. His heart skipped a couple beats. 

“Hey there,” she said easily, tossing the towel into the bathroom behind her. 

“Hey. . . I brought wine. Best I could afford on a vigilante’s salary,” he stumbled over his words, trying to regain his cool. “Uh—,” he spotted the stereo control on the wall behind her. Music. That was usually part of this whole. . . stress relief thing. At least in the vid Joker had sent him. He pressed a couple buttons, and terrible pop music started blaring out of the speakers. Wincing internally, he turned back to her, checking for her reaction. She shook her head, smile still in place as she approached him. He soldiered on, feeling more idiotic by the second. 

“Well, if you were a turian, I’d be complimenting your waist, or your fringe. So, uh—your hair looks good, and your waist is. . . very supportive.” Alexa raised her eyebrows, her expression turning bemused. Crap. “Hopefully, that’s not offensive to humans. I knew I should’ve watched the vids. Come on, Shep—” He fell silent as she stepped up into his space, placing a comforting hand on his chest. 

Her tone was light, but her eyes softened as they met his. “Consider me seduced, smooth talker. Shut up and stop worrying,” she teased, “it’s just me.” Alexa sidestepped to shut off the music, and Garrus felt his shoulders sag. 

The weight of the last two years came crashing down: leaving C-sec after her death, Archangel, Sidonis’ betrayal, Shepard’s return, his mom’s health, his conversation with Sol. This new something growing between them. His mind raced, and his heartbeat quickened. He hadn’t even realized how deeply he cared for her until she was gone, until he realized that he would never get to see her smile, or hear her laugh, or tease him ever again. She was gone; better not to think about the depth of that loss. 

Better to throw himself into something he could change, something he could fix.  So he did, until he couldn’t, until he failed, surrounded by the bodies of the people he was supposed to protect. Until Shepard came back from death to save him again, and all that grief and—could he call it love—came rushing back in. Until she brought up “relieving tension” after Sidonis, he hadn’t even allowed himself to call it anything but admiration, friendship.

The weeks since her offer had been strangely peaceful, at least by their standards. As they hurtled ever closer to the suicide mission, they had come together so naturally, without much discussion. He came up to her quarters, or she sat in the battery, working on their reports, spending time in quiet contemplation. Every time she smiled at him, every time her hand brushed his arm, it was overwhelming, exhilarating, and terrifying. Just being near her made him feel both grounded and completely untethered. 

He never imagined, especially after Omega, that there was a chance she could ever—that she would ever see him as anything more than a friend. I should consider myself lucky she even does that, he thought, almost bitterly. His hands trembled, and Alexa gently took the bottle of wine from him, setting it on the desk behind her. He raised his head, finding her still watching him, her face growing serious and concerned. She opened her mouth, about to speak, but he shook his head, cutting her off. “The thing is, I—I’ve just seen so many things go wrong, my work at C-Sec, what happened with Sidonis. I want something to go right. Just once. . .” he trailed off. 

Alexa tilted her head, and he closed his eyes briefly.  He inhaled shakily, as her warm hand cupped his face. “Garrus,” she said softly, her fingertips ghosting across his scars. Emboldened by the fact she hadn’t told him to get the hell out yet, he reached for her, catching her hands in his. She stepped closer, into his arms. “You’ve got me,” she whispered, intertwining her fingers with his, “It’s us. How could it go wrong?” 

She smiled crookedly, and he realized that she was just as nervous as he was. He leaned down, careful, slow enough that she could pull back if she wanted to, and gently rested his head against hers. After a breath, she leaned into him, eyes closed, and he could feel the tension leaching from her body. They stood there for a few moments, fully immersed in each other; the only sound was their breathing and his pounding heartbeat. 

Garrus reached up to caress her face, and Alexa, eyes still closed, turned her cheek into his palm. His chest bloomed with warmth. How could it go wrong, he thought to himself. With Shepard, anything was possible. He didn’t reply, almost afraid to jinx it. For once, as she stretched up to kiss him, as he tilted his head to meet her lips, he let himself believe—if only for a moment—that they might make it. 

[mushroommanchanterelle]

Part 2 of the Shakarian fic I'm playing around with

The sound of whirring gears floods the vehicle bay as the elevator makes its slow descent. The door opens to reveal Garrus Vakarian, mandibles slacked to the sides of his face. He holds a warm thermos in his hand, and staggers out of the vehicle bay. The former detective takes up his usual position beside the Mako and slumps onto the ground, taking a long sip of whatever fluid resided within the insulated walls of his metallic cup. Across the room from him, Urdnot Wrex chuckles to himself.

“You look more like shit than usual, Garrus.”

The turian groans and looks up from his drink, locking eyes with the krogan warrior.

“Not now, Wrex. I’ve got enough to think about already. I don’t need extra commentary.”

“Suit yourself. Haven’t seen you this bent out of shape since we recruited your sorry ass.”

Garrus props himself up against the Mako’s tire, sitting up straight instead of slumping over.

“Wrex, if I wanted your opinion, I would have asked. Besides, it’s not something you’d know a damn thing about anyways.”

As Wrex opens his mouth to speak, the door to the engineering bay opens. Tali’Zorah hurriedly steps out of the room, looking between the two disgruntled men.

“Are you two fighting again? Why is it that the moment I turn my back, you’re at odds? Doesn’t Shepard take you along with her enough to form… I don’t know, some sort of combat bond?”

Garrus twinges at the sound of Shepard’s name, looking back down at his thermos. Wrex, taking note, gives a hearty belly laugh.

“Ahh that’s what’s bothering you. What did Shepard do this time? You mad she took Kaiden and Tali out instead of us?”

“It’s not that it’s… It’s…”

Beneath the mask, Tali’s face lights up.

“I know that look. I’ve seen enough vids to know where this is going. You’ve got feelings about her, don’t you?”

The quarian mechanic walks over to Garrus and sits beside him, offering a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Come on, Garrus, out with it. You know you can talk to us. Or…at least me.”

Wrex crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the wall.

“What, don’t trust me, turian?”

Garrus sighs, lowering his mandibles. He looks down, then between Tali and Wrex.

“It’s just… I heard Shepard talking with Kaiden this morning.”

Tali gently pats his shoulder.

“I take it you didn’t like what you heard? I didn’t think Kaiden was the sort to go after a woman like Shepard…they always seemed more like siblings to me.”

“No, it’s not like that. They were talking about ME.”

Wrex stretches his neck. “So they were gossiping. Hardly enough to warrant a reaction like this.”

Tali shoots him a look that permeates through the thick shielding of her helmet, then returns her gaze to Garrus. Immediately, Wrex puts his hands up and leans back against the wall.

“What were they saying, Garrus?”

“It was a little hard to make out from the elevator, but it sounded like Kaiden was teasing Shepard. I think I heard him say that she was up late thinking about me, but she pulled rank to shut him down. I… I think Shepard might have some feelings that I’m not sure I know how to handle.”

Wrex sighs and shakes his head. “I don’t know what’s so difficult about it. Just send a breeding request and be done with it.”

Tali shakes her head and retorts with fire in her voice, “Quiet Wrex. This is a delicate matter! Romance is an art form and needs to be handled with tact.” She returns to Garrus once again, having silenced their krogan counterpart. “Garrus, if you don’t want any advances, you don’t have to take them. You don’t need to entertain Shepard if you don’t feel the same way.”

“That’s the thing, Tali. I DO feel the same way. It’s…complicated. I’ve had relations before, but never a true relationship. I don’t even know how compatible turians and humans are. Tensions are still fairly high between our peoples and…”

Tali gently cups Garrus’s cheek, offering a reassuring smile just barely visible through the purple glass. “Garrus, love always finds a way. If you really feel that way, why not talk to her about it?”

Wrex lets out a disgruntled huff, looking off to the side indignantly. 

“I don’t see the fuss about it. You like her, she likes you. It sounds to me like a done deal. Quit your whining and get it over with already.”

“As much as I’d love to, I don’t even know that much about Shepard. I don’t know if we have the same interests, or hobbies… I don’t even really have any hobbies. I think this requires some careful research…”

Tali chuckles and relaxes beside him.

“If anyone can figure it out, it’s you. Don’t think too hard about it. The best way to get to know someone is to talk to them. Maybe get her a present. Every woman I know loves getting presents.”

“Alright, that sounds like a good place to start. But…what sort of gift do I even get? And where? Shepard doesn’t seem like the chocolate kind of person, and we hardly go anywhere pleasant enough to pick up something soft and cuddly.”

Wrex thinks a minute, remembering a conversation he had with their illustrious commander. At the same time, in near perfect unison, Tali joins in. 

“Shotguns,” the two say at the same time.

Wrex chuckles softly to himself.

“Shepard loves big shotguns. The bigger the better. Get her something with some kick to it.”

“Shotguns? Really? You’d think something like that would topple her over. She’s barely above five foot! Well…if you say so. I’ll keep my eyes open. Thanks, the both of you.”

Tali looks over to the elevator and nods her head.

“We’re your friends, Garrus. Of course we’ll help you through things.”

“Yeah yeah whatever,” Wrex shoots back, “whatever quiets your bellyaching.”

The elevator ascends, a clear indicator that someone was planning on coming down to the cargo bay. Garrus stands up again, patting himself off, then turns to the Mako to begin maintenance. He had a lot to think about.

[otemporanerys]

7 snippets, 7 mutuals

Thanks for the tag @cr-noble-writes!

tagging @misseffect @diaphanouso @kalliesa @aevallare @dwarrowdams @dispatchwithlove @dulcidyne

Time to air all my dirty laundry WIPs!

1. True Blue - siblings edition

When the two of them entered the apartment that afternoon, Sol was sitting on the floor of the living room, folding up her clothes as small as they would go. “Hey, G,” she said without looking up, “how was school?”

“Fine.” Sol didn’t look up. “Uh, you remember Shepard.”

Sol snapped to attention. “Oh. Hi.”

Shepard ran over to the TV. “Whoa, this one’s new!” She sat down, cross-legged, and admired his games console. “We only get the ones the kids’ hospital doesn’t want.”

“Wait, seriously?” Garrus asked.

“Yeah, it’s awful.” Shepard turned the console on. “They try and wrap them up so we don’t notice but they’re always covered in snot.”

Sol mouthed at Garrus, she’s gonna steal it. Garrus mouthed back, shut up.

2. True Blue - idiots in love edition

Another reason being on the Normandy was weird: normally seeing Shepard in person was a process of extensive negotiations with both their calendars. - Can you do next week? - Sorry, the tour doesn’t end until next month. Does that work? - No, Pallin’s sending me on a course, what about after?

But now that they were on the same ship, it was the work of moments.

Dualla? she texted.

Sure, he replied, I’ll be there in five.

Dualla could be – very crudely, in Garrus’s opinion – described as turian yoga, but it was faster paced, mixing speed and flexibility. Once upon a time, Garrus had been better at it than Shepard, but that was a long time ago, and when Shepard set her mind to something, it took her no time at all to master it.

The VI in the Normandy’s gym suggested some gentle adjustments, bearing in mind that Shepard’s joints weren’t shaped for the basic program, but Shepard, naturally, ignored all of them.

3. True Blue - Garrus is hot now edition

“Don’t tell me you didn’t freak out when you first saw him,” Metina needled. “C’mon, you can tell us.”

Shepard muttered something through clenched teeth – Garrus didn’t catch it, and if she said anything after, it was drowned out by Saesa and Metina cackling. “Hey,” he said, and they cackled even louder. Shepard’s face was… really red. Like after a long run, or a hard fight. “I got you a beer.”

She took it without saying thank you.

“Aw,” said Metina, “where’s my drink?”

“I, uh.” Garrus looked down at his beer. “I only have two hands.”

“Ignore her,” Saesa tutted. She leaned against a disused storage crate and sipped her drink. “So I hear basic is a non-stop party.”

Garrus scoffed. “If you ever go to parties where they make you do push-ups.”

She giggled behind her straw.

4. species swap - Vakarian parents edition

Even though she’d been awake for nearly 48 hours, she wasn’t tired when it was time for Castor to leave, but she did feel a little… she didn’t know. Wistful, maybe.

Even the way he stepped back into his clothes was efficient, she thought, as she wrapped her dressing down (towelly and Muppet print) around herself. He tightened his belt and asked, “Do you mind if I call you again?”

Right. A man who looked like that probably had a girl in every port, and she was this port’s girl. “Yeah, sure. Although, I don’t know if I’ll be here for your next shore leave.”

“I didn’t mean next time I’m here,” he said, buttoning up his shirt.

“Oh.” What? She laughed. “Yeah, sure, just ring me up whenever you feel like a chat.”

When he walked over to her, he looked just as soldier-fresh as he had when he’d walked into that weird officer’s restaurant the day before – except maybe there was a bit of stubble on his chin. He leaned down and kissed her, slowly and with tongue.

God, he was hot.

5. species swap - (angry) siblings edition

Somehow, out of all the Vakarians – stiff Castor, angry Tegan, and the prodigal son – Syl was the one who looked like she wanted to be here the least.

She hunched in the corner, pulling her little jacket around herself, and she pulled something out of her pocket. Gareth smelt it before he saw it – the sweet stink of unlit cigarettes.

“I didn’t know you still –”

Her head whipped over her shoulder. Jesus, Gareth had heard of looks to kill, but the look his sister gave him could vaporize. “I didn’t think you’d show.”

Gareth shoved his hands in his pockets. “So, uh. How are you?”

She turned back, lighting her cigarette.

This was always going to be an uphill battle. Gareth walked around in front of her, getting a faceful of smoke for his trouble. “I know you’re pissed, and you have every right to be, but –”

“Pissed. That’s one word for it.” She narrowed her eyes. “You really think you can just show up here like nothing happened?”

6. witcher - horny Kasumi edition

“Where do you keep finding these men?” Kasumi asked. “I never see you with anyone who isn’t drop-dead –”

“We’re working together,” Shepard interrupted. “Kasumi, meet –"

“Garrus.” Kasumi gave an exaggerated curtsey. “Whatever happened to that sorcerer you were travelling with last?” the sorceress asked. “Tall, dark, handsome –” “Oh,” Shepard grimaced. “Jacob. He found someone else.”

Garrus blinked. “He left you for another woman?”

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Shepard replied, “it only saved me the bother of jilting him myself.”

“Another sorceress?” Kasumi pouted.

“Mortal,” Shepard said. “Pregnant. Not his, obviously, but he still felt –”

“Ah,” Kasumi smirked, “so it’s only a matter of waiting.”

7. witcher - AU of the AU edition

“Hello, your grace,” she ventured.

“You know her, my lord?” one of the villagers asked. “But she’s a –”

“Witcher,” Garrus – she was pretty sure it was Garrus – finished. “Yes, she helped me with a problem once.” He smiled softly. “Must’ve been a decade ago.”

That sounded right, and he looked it. Not in a bad way: his face had filled out a little, and there was the smallest scattering of grey in that thick head of dark hair.  

Shepard jerked her chin at the snowbank. “Do you have a spare spade?”

Garrus took it upon himself to dig right next to her. “I didn’t think you’d remember me,” he muttered, low enough that the villagers – his subjects – couldn’t hear.

“Oh, I remember.” She smirked. “I made you a man.”

He blushed, and smiled, and for a moment he looked just like that earnest young man she bedded all those years ago.

[lilmissnatcat24]

i'll break my own heart, thanks

[SYSTEM UI]: Garrus Vakarian, your message you recorded twelve hours ago is slated to be sent now. If you wish to edit or delete your message, press (x). If you do not act in ten minutes, the message will be sent. Read your transcripted voice message here: 

Hey mom, hey dad. Uh, I know you’re probably sleeping right now. Time zones and all. Don’t worry about me. I, uh… I don’t know if you’ve been keeping up with what’s been happening over here for me. The news and all. I don’t know if it’s even reaching Palaven. They may want to censor it. Anyways, it’s bad. And it’s about to get a lot worse, I think. I made some friends, we think we can stop it. It’s… it’s actually a pretty funny group. We have an Alliance Captain and a Commander. We have an asari scientist, an expert on the Protheans. And dad, remember Urdnot Wrex? He’s here, too. Which I know may not inspire heaps of confidence, but that’s not the point. I might be going dark for a while. If you don’t hear from me, I, uh, wanted to tell you two… that I… I mean to say… Ugh, nevermind. I’m not going to do that. You already know that, don’t you? I wanted to tell you something else. You’ll like this, mom. I met someone. And I think I love her. I mean, I know I love her. She’s been here since the beginning of this whole mess. And she’s C-Sec, big Alliance hero. You’d like that, dad. At least, if you don’t mind the fact that she’s human. I don’t think you should, you always said you thought humans were a funny species… Anyways, we got tickets to come home. I want you to meet her. And I want to spend time with you, all of you, as a family. Tell Sol to drop by, and bring whatever fool she’s dating this week. I want to do a big dinner, like what we did when dad would get his annual leave. Of course, we need to figure out how to cook levo foods, but that’s beside the point-- [unintelligible] What? Okay, I’ll be right there. Anyways, I need to go. I know this got a little winded, but I wanted to say… thanks. I’ll see you guys soon. Hopefully. 

[SYSTEM UI]: You have marked the message for deletion. It will be in your Trash folder for the next thirty days. 

[SYSTEM UI]: Welcome to your Trash folder! All messages in here will be-- 

[SYSTEM UI]: You have marked all for deletion. If you wish to undo-- 

[SYSTEM UI]: Welcome to your Settings! For help with-- 

[SYSTEM UI]: You have deleted your Messages App. To view the backups of your files, please-- 

[SYSTEM UI]: Careful, there! Excess temperatures may slow the performance of your Nexus Omni-tool-- 

[SYSTEM UI]: For the safety of your device and your skin, your Nexus Omni-tool will now shut off. 

[diaphanouso]

7 Snippets, 7 Mutuals

Thanks for the tag @otemporanerys @misseffect @dwarrowdams !

Some of y'all have already been tagged but here we gooo: @dispatchwithlove @kalliesa @sinelaborenihilsr2 @angry-jager @dulcidyne @westernlarch @jtownnn

A mix of snippets from BG3 and Mass Effect.

1) Reclaim the Night (Halsin/Astarion, very very WIP)

“I'll have you know that I'm quite comfortable with nudity." A sly grin plays across his lips as he reflexively eases into his familiar role. "Especially when the nudity is so pleasing."

Except… it’s no longer quite a role he’s playing, is it? Astarion’s reaction to Halsin had been real, his body, for once, corroborating his words, his wants. 

The druid exhales a chuckle as he laces up his vest. “It is only as nature made me." He pulls his hair back, and while he looks less… wild this way, it’s still quite a nice face.

“Yes, well,” Astarion answers, unsure of what to do with not only that, but the druid’s seemingly genuine response to what would normally be an empty flirtation. But Astarion, always one to land on his feet, recovers and dons a grave, approving expression as he claps his hands. “Splendid work, nature. No notes.”

2) Reclaim the Night

“It’s fortunate that I ran into you,” Halsin says as he moves to his other arm, girding the thick muscle in leather. “I’ve been wanting to thank you—sincerely—for all your help.” He tugs the strap as he did his belt. Then, his eyes bore into Astarion’s with an intensity that stops Astarion’s carousel of libidinous musings.

“It means more than you know,” the druid says, “that strangers, with no reason to help other than we were in dire need of it, risked their lives to not only free me, but ensure safety and peace within the Grove.”

For a few seconds, Astarion simply blinks, taken aback by both the sentiment and the gravity Halsin puts behind it. He quickly collects himself and answers Halsin's gratitude with a scoff and a dismissive wave. 

“Think nothing of it. It’s what anyone would have done.” The lie triggers no moral dissonance, as usual. Until Halsin responds with a skeptical brow that feels personal. Astarion looks away and inspects his nails, the scuffed toes of his traveling boots, the ants in the dirt—anything but the way Halsin sees him.

Halsin kneels and pulls on his sandals. “No, it’s not,” he says. “And there’s something to be said of the hearts of those who do good despite their instincts.”

3) Waiting (Halsin/Tav, also very WIP)

On his hand she places hers, tilting her head with a knowing look. “You're worried about me."

"That I am,” Halsin admits. “Though not for lack of confidence in you."

“It's only a little trip to the hells," she says, stroking the back of hand before placing a soft kiss upon his knuckles. “That's all."

“Come back to me, my heart.”

She smiles up at him, so radiant it almost, almost drives away his fears. “Don't I always, Love? Now, are you going to give me a proper kiss goodbye or save it for my return?"

Though his heart continues its tight, troubled beat, it’s tempered by her spirit; for the moment, his heart aches with affection more than anything else.

"I have every intention of doing both.”

4) One (1) New Message (Shakarian)

“Get your own kills, you sniping bastard.”

Massani’s irritation blasts over the squad’s comms once again as Garrus leaves yet another geth destroyer a crumpled heap of chrome and sizzling, smoking metal.

“Cool it, Massani.” It’s definitely an order, but the smirk in Shepard’s voice is clear as crystal. “Plenty to go around.”

Geth bombers rain down in warbling spins as the squad presses forward. The mercenary scoffs. “Just not very efficient, two of us having a go at one glorified toaster.”

5) Waiting

“… then the doors shut behind us with a SLAM!” Renyx says with a loud clap that makes everyone, even Halsin, jump. Firelight dances in her eyes and shadows play across her face as she leans forward conspiratorially. She holds them all under her spell. “And that’s when the singing starts." 

Astarion pouts. "I always miss the fun ones. Take me with you next time.”

“Come now," Wyll says with a grin. “Like some infernal chorus?" 

Renyx shakes her head. “No, no. All him." 

Easy laughter crackles around the fire. Halsin's laughter is tempered, however, as he studies Renyx. The sight of the light dancing across her skin warms him more than the campfire itself. But despite the crackling energy in her storytelling, the sheer power and charm of her, there's something she's holding back, something hidden in the shadows of her narrative. He hopes to learn what it might be, if ever she might wish to share it.

Karlach waves her mug about, shaking her head. "I shit you not, the bastard sang to us. Sang to us! Of our demise!”

"Whilst delivering said demise, at that,” Gale adds. "Were our mortal souls not in such peril, I might've asked where he got his nerve. Might've even taken pleasure in the tune.”

“Well, someone took pleasure in the tune," Karlach says, casting a sly grin in the gith’s direction. “Pretty certain I caught Lae’zel humming bits of it on the way back.”

Lae’zel, sitting just outside the fire circle, looks up from buffing her armor and cuts her eyes at Karlach. "If I ‘took pleasure’ in the ‘tune’,” she hisses, “it is because my mortal soul was never in peril.”

6) One (1) New Message

Flashes of scarlet along the bridge ahead. Garrus sweeps the length of the bridge with his scope until he finds them. There, near the north end of the bridge—two geth units, each armed with a rocket launcher. One of them dips behind one of the metal panels running along the bridge, the other, Garrus tracks with his scope until it stops.

“Vakarian, at your ten!” Taylor warns.

Garrus swings back to the first unit and his scope comes eye to eye with the launcher’s muzzle, a flaming projectile screaming toward him.

His Viper spits a quick shot, knocking the geth unit backwards and over the railing as Garrus dashes out of the rocket’s path. It collides with the concrete behind where Garrus had been crouched, leaving a smoldering, blackened pit in the wall and scattering offshoots of fiery debris on the ground.

7) Bingo Card (Shep/Nihlus NSFW)

Shepard shrugs. “Yep. Never banged a turian.”

His eyes go wide, mandibles slack in surprise. “Nothing at all?”

“I mean, there was this errant blowjob on a recon mission. But I was under a lot of stress, as you can imagine.” Shepard downs the last of her drink. “Not my best work.”

A flush spreads up Nihlus’ keel. He starts pouring another drink. “So… no do-overs, huh?”

Shepard laughs. “No, my mouth and his cock simply weren’t meant to be. He’s a nice guy, though. We laugh about it now.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”

“Trust me,” Shepard says, her voice breathy with amusement, “it was bad.” She beams at him. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, though. Good to know you have so much faith in my oral talents.”

“What can I say, I only work with the best.”

The silence settles between them.

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY GARRUS VAKARIAN

ASSORTED DIALOGUE FROM THE MASS EFFECT TRILOGY

i would’ve never thought of that.

what are you doing?!

they must be destroyed upon contact without exception.

as if we needed more reasons to avoid touching things in here.

why do people always assume we enjoy putting ourselves in harm’s way?

this wasn’t covered in my training manuals.

well, this looks fun.

some women find facial scars attractive.

they were all ignoring you and hitting on me. ‘bout time you got a fair shot.

why don’t we ever go anywhere nice?

it’s your call.

we shouldn’t be fighting. we have to work together.

that’s pretty... extreme.

there’s no pep talk like a military pep talk.

and here i thought i had my betrayal and attempted murder for this year...

now’s not the best time to become an optimist.

he’s not going to make it if we don’t help him.

we can disobey suicidal orders? why wasn’t i told?

he hasn’t reported your disappearance.

this guy couldn’t tie his bootlaces, let alone fight.

half of us don’t even trust you.

one less to worry about!

over the years i’ve grown used to the smell of dead bodies.

that’s probably a bad sign.

i love what they’ve done with the place.

just like old times.

whatever they’re after, i hope it’s worth it.

i’m hard to kill. you should know that.

it’s gonna be bad all over.

for whatever it’s worth, i’m with you.

you’ve waited long enough for this day.

just wait ‘til this war is over.

you came along and warmed my heart with your winning personality.

maybe you’d like to go work for them instead?

how do i not have one of those?

surprise on our side for once. i like it.

brutal, but it makes a certain kind of sense.

it’s all just... expected.

i know we’ve beaten the odds before.

staying out of trouble, i see.

you were wondering too, weren’t you?

see any action?

there’s too much at stake here.

next time, leave instructions.

it’s starting to feel like we’re missing something.

they’re taking it pretty well, don’t you think?

bad vibe to these guys. i don’t think we want to push it.

never do that again.

i’d say you managed.

excuse me, i couldn’t help but notice your sidearm.

can you tell me where the bartender hides the hard stuff?

now they’re just fighting dirty!

well, that went well.

pretty stark. you okay?

you’re real. a little crazy, maybe, but real.

he really had you boxed in.

you did what you had to, and i was there with you.

come back alive. it’d be an awfully empty galaxy without you.

you can’t do this solo.

you always were the best shot.

i love you, too.

listen. we have to go.

we didn’t kill these people. and we’re going to shut down the bastards who did.

looks like we’ve got a siege on our hand.

if anyone needs fresh clips or a bathroom break, now’s the time.

oh crap!

guess he didn’t like the food.

looks like we got the jump.

pretty extreme, but those were desperate times.

we won’t get a second chance.

that was me, sorry.

nothing like being stranded.

we’ll do more than that.

just the usual minor flesh wound.

what would these people have done if we hadn’t shown up?

i was there when you two had your thing, remember? just get a room and work it out.

stay angry. we’ll need it to get through this.

drinks will be on me.

one of my favorite places to fight!

[thetrashbagswasteland]

Friday Kiss Tag

I was tagged by @omniblades-and-stars tyyyy - passing the buck on to @teamdilf @sparatus @outpost51

Rules: Post smooch from your writing for Friday. It can be as light as a peck or as intense as a makeout. It can be romantic or platonic or familial. As long as a smooch takes place it's free reign!

Right so this (long) snippet is from Follow My Lead why yes I have been working on this chapter for bang on a year at this point lmao it's fine it's totally fine

A hand clamped over his mouth, stopping him, even as the eyes boring into his softened - softened but didn’t quite lose the half-starved, feral look they’d always held. “You just don’t understand. S’not your fault you don’t, either, not something you’ve ever had to experience.” The hand loosened but didn’t get removed as he shifted- straddling his lap to peer down at him. “You, Rems, those kids you raised? You two had it good and you made damned sure your kids did too- as you should. Shit, Mace too; I met his family, he was so loved an’ his parents did their best to work out how to love me too, just because their son picked me. S’not a crime to grow up happy and bring up well-loved kids, even if it’s not one we all get to experience; I don’t need you to understand why the kid needed me, just accept that she did.” The children though- “They hate me now.” Castis admitted as the hand slipped from holding his mouth shut to cup his jaw instead, calloused thumb sliding under one mandible. He didn’t need sympathy- didn’t want it either but… “I ruined their lives, Avitus, and they’ll never forgive me for what I put them through.” How could they? Parents weren’t meant to do what he’d done to them after all. Rather than ask outright, his oldest friend tilted his head to one side questioningly, subvocals rumbling disbelief that he even could do such a thing. “The war was a dark time- I was a mess from losing Dorema already and then Palaven burned and…” Spirits, he couldn’t say it. The dark eyes that met his, steady as could be, were surprisingly not filled with judgement, for all that he’d once sworn to protect the very people they were discussing him hurting- from Castis himself if so needed. “Things got dark and you lost sight of the way out, huh?” He couldn’t keep his gaze. Closing his eyes was far easier, as much as it was an admission of guilt. Avitus snorted softly. “D’you know the first thing I told Sara when she said there was a Vakarian onboard New Horizons? I said it’d never be you because if shit had gone down like she said, you’d have eaten a bullet before going through anything more.” A fair analysis, he suspected. How close had they come to that being a reality? Too close, too close for sure. “It would have done so, if not for Sol.” The words slipped out before he could stop them, an admission of how easily he’d have slipped - and with the banks burst, he couldn’t- “We thought Garrus was as good as dead eventually, then I was responsible for the death of a child and I just- Avitus, it got bad enough that she slept beside me for years, just to ensure I didn’t-” He didn’t get to finish his sentence. It caught in his throat, or maybe just was pulled out of being by the mouth-plates that’d found his, drawn from existence by the tongue that slipped into his mouth as easily as if it belonged there.  And wasn’t it hard, in truth, to dwell on what had been? His fingers found familiar holds at his hips, just as another’s decidedly not blunted talons prickled at the rim of his cowl- holding him as if he wasn’t contained enough simply by the other’s steady weight on top of him, simply by the heat of his tongue, simply by the familiar scent of him, grounding him to a reality where, in the end, he hadn’t lost everything. Just… most things beyond that which was tangib- -a sharp whistle shot through them, causing him to jerk upright and their foreheads cracked together, blinding him with disorientating pain. Ouch. 

[that-wildwolf]

WIP Wednesday

@milkywayes tagged me for WIP Wednesday so since it's Sunday now obviously I'm doing it now

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"I can't anymore! I just—" She nervously wrings her hands around until Garrus grabs them and keeps her still. She looks up, surprised. “I…”

“Shepard.” He slowly brings her hands to his mouth plates and leaves a gentle kiss on her knuckles. This small brush of his mouth plates against her skin, the romantic gesture foreign to both their species that he taught himself sometime during the Reaper War, has never failed to bring her to tears. Except now she's already crying, so instead of tearing up it just makes her lips tremble and her brows twitch.

“I'm sorry.” She wants to withdraw deeper into herself, wants to curl up into a ball and not be perceived, but Garrus knows what he's doing. He's holding her in a way that keeps her from doing that, keeps her from hiding herself or covering her face, from breaking the contact he's managed to establish. His grip on her may be gentle and comforting, but it is also firm. Not forceful, not nearly there, but she would probably have trouble breaking out of his hold if she tried. He keeps her grounded even when she doesn't want to be anchored to reality, when all she wants is to cut herself away from it, to just float away. His hands holding hers are not letting her float. He's an anchor, but right now all she sees is a weight.

“Shepard. Shepard, stop. Look at me. Shepard.” She struggles against him and just as she suspected, he tries to calm her down. His hands end up on her shoulders and he faces her towards him. “Please.” Not a word he uses often, it makes her still herself and look him right into those freakishly blue eyes. It's unnatural, she thinks, that his eyes are this colour. She knows him so well she sometimes forgets that he's not like her. She's not a turian. She can't live here with him and lead a normal life. She can't even look into his eyes without recoiling at their alienness. Why did she have to fall in love with someone so different from her? It's like she set herself up to fail from the start. She shudders, and struggles for a few more seconds, just out of principle at this point, until he grabs her shoulders and forces her still. “Please,” he repeats, his words lined with a sob of his own now.

Shepard shuts her eyes and forces herself to look at him, to keep still. Garrus relaxes his grip on her, going back to that original comforting gentleness he'd started with. She lets out a breath.

“Thank you,” he whispers. His head sags, hanging in the air between them. He's tired. She should have noticed how tired, shouldn't have made this whole spectacle in front of him. She closes her eyes, rests her head against his, and eventually wraps her arms around him. He lets go of her shoulders and gently, slowly, carefully puts his arms around her instead, pulling her closer.

“I’m sorry,” she says quietly, just barely shy of a sob. "I'm sorry."

As for tagging the next person @whiskynorocks hit me with whatcha got cooking

[aluvian]

Top 5 ships

Not me temporarily forgetting every ship I've ever shipped when I saw this ask. And then having to pick from the numerous ones I do have. Lmaoooooo 😂

Fox Mulder x Dana Scully - The X-Files. The ship to end all ships. The blueprint. When I say that your faves could never, I truly mean it. Mulder and Scully probably did it first and continue to do it better. We have them to thank for the term shipping and online spaces where we can scream about and over our faves. They've given me permanent brain damage. 🥰

FemShep x Garrus Vakarian - Mass Effect. The ultimate battle couple. My favorite cross-species liaison, who aren't afraid to test the limits of reach and flexibility. Their transition from friends to friends with benefits to UH OH I CAUGHT SERIOUS FEELINGS is immaculate. Plus, we get some real dialog bangers. My personal fave: "You know me, I always like to savor the last shot before popping the heat sink." I LOSE IT EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Neo x Trinity - The Matrix. There isn't a sexier ship out there, and that's a fact. Imagine looking that hot all the time and being willing to die for one another without a second thought or ounce of hesitation, even if it means dooming the rest of humanity. Goals, tbh.

Jaime Lannister x Brienne of Tarth - Game of Thrones/ASOIAF. I would be physically/mentally/emotionally incapable of not shipping something that was Beauty and the Beast coded. ESPECIALLY if it's an inverse of the classic fairy tale. I try not to think how the show did them so dirty. And I have still not recovered from that, btw. Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Gwendoline Christie deserved to play book!JB so, so badly. CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE??????? The show did give us some iconic moments with them but ultimately wasted all that potential. Still holding out on George and TWOW. I truly believe he's not going to let us down.

Roy Mustang x Riza Hawkeye - Fullmetal Alchemist. They are literally Mulder and Scully in anime form. How could I not ship them? Their devotion to each other makes me want to chew through the drywall. "I'll follow you into hell if you ask me to." HELLO??????????????

...annnnnnnd I definitely have a type when it comes to my OTPs 😅

Honorable mentions: BroShep x Tali'Zorah vas Normandy from Mass Effect, Batman/Bruce Wayne x Catwoman/Selina Kyle from the Batman franchise, Rogue x Gambit from the X-Men franchise, Vash the Stampede x Meryl Stryfe from Trigun & Trigun Stampede, Nicholas D. Wolfwood x Milly Thompson from Trigun, Guts x Casca from Berserk*, Shinya Kougami x Akane Tsunemori from Psycho-Pass, Meryl Stryfe x Nicholas D. Wolfwood from Trigun Stampede, FemRyder x Vetra Nyx from Mass Effect: Andromeda, Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes from the MCU, Leon S. Kennedy x Ada Wong from Resident Evil...and I truly could keep going. I have a lot of ships. And I will spare you guys my sports anime ones. 😆

*I do need to give a special shout out to Guts and Casca for being especially insane. Imagine initiating a sword fight with a guy, stabbing him, then deciding to fling yourself off the side of a cliff afterwards, having him rescue you by grabbing you at just the right time (with the hand he used to pull out the sword you stabbed him with no less), then crying and calling him a fool, then kissing him, then fucking him. They truly do not make anime/manga ships like this anymore. 😔

Wow. Never get me talking about anything I love because this is what happens. I simply do not know how and when to shut up. Anyway! This was tons of fun, and I appreciate you sending me this ask so much. 💙

Ask me my Top 5 anything!

[kittynomsdeplume]

Word Search Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @alyssalenko!

The words for me to find are - hum, love, stop, cry and power

Hum - Captured, featuring Farie Lavellan and Knight-Captain Rylen.

“That’s what I thought,” Rylen drawls and dips his fingers underneath the waistband of her smalls. He slowly inches them down, a deep hum of appreciation rumbling in his throat as she is bared to him. “Ah, Rylen!” she exclaims in protest when his teeth sink into her skin, right at the juncture of her thigh and bottom. His tongue flicks at her and then he sucks hard and she inhales sharply at the sensation — a feeling of pressure more than pain. “What are you doing?” Her censure falls flat, her voice feeble and shaking as Rylen rubs his thumb over the mark he has left behind.

Love - Exposed, featuring Garrus Vakarian and FemShep

“Yes… yes,” she gasps, hips jerking and thighs tensing. He looks up, her face contorting in that strange, severe fashion when she is very close. The first time they made love, he’d felt such acute confusion. Despite her assurances and guidance, he thought he must have been hurting her. The more he did as she directed, the more she looked the very picture of human agony - grimacing and gasping raggedly, with her eyes squeezed shut and a deep furrow between her brows.

Stop - Hedge Wizard, featuring Solas and Maera

Only peripherally is she aware of the sound of his hands crushing the hedge behind her. “Solas… please,” she gasps as she breaks for air. “Please stop?” he teases as he pulls away slightly and she tightens her grip on him. “Or more, please?” he whispers as his lips trail across her cheek to her temple. “Please…” she stammers as he runs his tongue along the margin of her ear. “Put your hands on me.” A strangled groan escapes him as he brings one hand to cup her face, capturing her mouth in a hungry kiss. Now it is her turn to moan, as he coaxes her lips apart with his tongue. He presses his body flush against her, as his other hand wraps around her waist. 

Cry - Under Her Mask, featuring Cullen Rutherford and Solona Amell

“Murder! Murder!” A group of revellers cry as they push past them, heading down a path that trails deeper into the gardens. “Murder?” Cullen gasps with alarm, ready to leap into action. “Relax, they’re just playing a game,” she assures him. Cullen scoffs, “A game?” “You know Orlesians love their games. You’ve never heard of this one, with all the Balls you’ve attended?” He shakes his head. His experience of Orlesian Balls unfortunately involves quite of bit of literal murder. 

Power - The Inexorable Tide, featuring Ixchel Lavellan and Dirthamen

She rubs a finger under her chin, studying him quietly and last night’s dream comes rushing back to him. Each evening he seeks her in the Fade, observing her in that vulnerable state and waiting for her secrets to slip. Truth has never before eluded him in the Fade, but she remains a mystery even there. It has been a source of frustration for him, but last night he was shocked by the realisation that she seemed aware of his presence. It had not even occurred to him that she might be a Fade-Walker, and one of such power that she could sense him, despite his efforts to obscure himself. It could explain her keen interest in the Fade however, and he berates himself for arrogantly underestimating her. Though it’s possible even she does not know what she is — the revelation being even more shocking and confusing to her as it is to him. 

Tagging: @blackwallmancer | @morganlefaye79 | @cleverblackcat | @shanaraharlyah | @pikapeppa | @rosella-writes | @dreadfutures | @theluckywizard | @nirikeehan | @melisusthewee | @charmcity-jess | @charlatron | @sidhelives | @amarmeme | @wardenari

Your words to search for are - seek, cherish, wisdom, fault and bruise.

[dragonflight203]

Mass effect 3, Normandy post Menae:

-What are the turian reinforcements even going to do on Earth?

Shepard keeps seeking reinforcements, but their purpose is unclear. This war will not be won by fighting the Reapers directly. The entire might of the galaxy could descend on Earth and that won’t save it.

I suppose the logic could be the same as the krogans on Palaven – evacuate as many people as possible until the Crucible is ready.

Kind of shitty to ask other species to abandon their people to save Earth’s though.

-In most backgrounds, Shepard has no reason to be attached to Earth. Or negative reason. So why does the game insist leaving was hard?

This would have been an excellent opportunity to let the player, you know, pick what Shepard says.

I’ll go with Shepard had a hard time abandoning civilians to die since I’m paragon. For renegades – hard time letting the Reapers have a victory?

-I’m fond of Victus. Seems like a good guy. He’d probably be an awful politician in peace, but he’s just what the Hierarchy needs in war.

-According to the email he sent, the spectre Jondum Bau is skeptical of Shepard’s ties with Cerberus.

I suspect many people feel that way, especially now that Cerberus is openly attacking so many people and places.

How much did working for Cerberus in ME2 hurt Shepard’s credibility? Many spectres apparently took Shepard’s claims about the Reapers seriously, but did others blow them off because of it?

(Also, the spectres taking Shepard’s Reapers claims seriously can be a hint that the Council did as well. The spectres work for them.)

-Aria sent me two emails to see her ASAP. One is from the base game, one for the Omega DLC.

That’s very poor execution on Bioware’s part. The DLC email should have been sent after the base game’s email. It could have come after meeting Aria the first time.

-First conversation with Garrus on the Normandy and he’s already mentioning “old times”. The writers love that phrase.

-If you go paragon, Shepard mentions the boy they watched die on Earth.

The writers really leaned on you caring about him. If only they had put some effort into giving the player a reason to.

Yes, yes, symbolism but you still have to earn your readers’ attachment. Don’t take it for granted.

-Garrus: It’s something I learned long ago in C-Sec: An imminent and painful death has a way of motivating people.

Garrus, would you care to explain how you learned that in C-Sec?

Garrus was a terrible C-Sec Officer, wasn’t he.

-Garrus’ father was a friend of the former primarch.

Garrus has lived a very privileged life. Probably why he takes crime so personally – he did not grow up expecting it.

-Garrus won’t say his current rank in the Hierarchy. Presumably he’s quite up there, to be advising the Palaven Primarch personally.

-The first meeting with Edi in her new body is a reversal of norms: Renegade is far more supportive of her than paragon. Usually it’s vice versa.

Renegade, you congratulate her on saving the data about the Crucible and will let her know when you’re ready to take her on a mission.

Paragon, you stress the dangers she risked acting on her own and want her to test the new body thoroughly before taking it out.

-I’ve seen people insist that Edi’s body is not intended to be sexy, but it blatantly is. Edi comments on it (Joker will want to see it), Chakwas comments on it, Dianna comments on it, and Joker won’t shut up about it.

(How fascinating, that it’s all women except for the love interest.)

I’m disappointed in it; I would have preferred for Edi to have an “ambiguous” or blatantly robot body and to still become Joker’s partner. That would have been a more powerful story about a man and an ai falling in love.

Still, compared to what Bioware did to Ashley in ME3 this is a minor quibble.

-That aside, in-universe I think it’s a terrible idea to take Edi on missions. If you go too far out of Normandy’s range she’ll lose control of the body. Why risk that when you can take an organic squad mate?

-Oddly enough, Adams has nothing to say about Edi gaining a body despite the fact he was there.

-Why is Ceberus incapable of successfully faking a turian signal?

Traynor says they made the same mistake they made in ME2. That’s just inexcusable. At least fail differently.

-If you go renegade with Edi, it’s rather amusing. Change the core programming that prevents you from harming humans? Nope, it’s perfect leave it be.

-Your next conversation with Edi emphasizes that she has personality traits. She’s curious, enjoys learning, has preferences, can lie…

This is so odd. We know Edi has a personality. We saw this throughout ME2. Why state it outright state it now like it’s something Shepard is just discovering?

I think ME3’s writers struggled with the concept that machine life can exist on its own terms. Hence why Edi got a body and the geth need to “evolve” into full AI in the Rannoch arc to be alive.

So even though EDI has been a person since ME2, they emphasize how she’s just like a human here because that’s the only way they can conceive personhood.

Disappointing, but that will be an ongoing theme throughout ME3. It has many good points, but on the whole the narrative does not work for me.

[sol-consort]

I was so upset when I thought Grunt died because I was like “I’ve seen him in different cutscenes though what’d I do wrong???” Luckily Grunt is the goat and lived because he’s Grunt. Wish I took him on missions more but you can’t beat the Tali/Shepard/Garrus combo I rocked the entire Trilogy

I love my fatass son even if he blocks 60% of my shots by walking directly in front of my camper Shepard just right after I pull the trigger then yells at me for friendly fire WHEN HE WAS THE ONE TO WALK IN FRONT OF MY SNIPER.

anyway so, I love him so much! I was a few seconds away from opening the task manager and force closing the game bc I thought for sure he died and I didn't want to finish the unskippable cutscene. I would've kill a that rachni queen a thousand times over if it meant Grunt got to live, zero hesitation.

Thankfully his bloodied limbing body emerged eventually and I have never felt happier in my life.

I wish him and Eve had an interaction since the two of them were in the medbay during the same time but oh well. She would've definitely fell hard for my glorious beloved son and forgot about dusty crusty Wrex!

Also his email after he recovers is so

OF COURSE MY BELOVED SON, I WILL SEND YOU ALL THE SHARK VIDEOS IN THE WORLD. SHARKS ARE VERY SMOOTH SKINNED AND MISUNDERSTOOD CREATURES WHO ARE CURIOUS BY NATURE JUST LIKE YOU MY SON. I AM GLAD IT IS NOT DOLPHINS YOU HAVE AN INTEREST IN SINCE DOLPHINS ARE DEVILSPAWN SOCIOPATHS.

it is super adorable that both the animals he is obsessed with are from earth just like Shepard, dinosaurs and sharks.

Wait are turians dinosaurs who survived their own meteor radiation-

Anyway! Here is more on the game report so far. I am falling asleep as I type.

Story plot

So far enjoying everything, the story writing is amazing and the dialogue is pretty hard hitting at times. Sometimes bloated but oh well. Tuchanka felt like such a big pay off to a huge build up since the first game, the quest delivered a full course meal.

Especially the reaper fight oh god, you get to feel powerless for once with a brute after brute after brute being thrown at you and no obvious spare ammo laying around. You just have to gun it (Ha) to the controls and avoid getting sqaushed like a bug by the reaper or charged by the brutes like a football.

Cloaking is a god sent gift that spared me so many times, I pray the brutes never develop thermal vision or the braincells to employ technology that uses it.

Mordin's death hit hard man, it was so right tho. It felt like it was meant to be, I wouldn't have cared for a random salarian. But Mordin? Oh no.

The fact he sings the model of a salarian scientist during it is the knife twisting in the back after the stab.

It's so clear he is doing it to calm himself down, to not mess this up.

It's a reminder of how much he has given to science, his whole life, identity and hobbies. His music, youth and great mind. So many of his beloved students too.

And he dies correcting the mistakes of superiors playing politics who let fear cloud their judgement.

Wrex calls Shepard his sister in it, Wrex has not hit on me once, I am unbelievably thankful for his writers and so overjoyed with this lovely platonic relationship between them.

Because yes they do feel like siblings!

Still, ME1 Wrex now feels like a different person in comparison to ME3 and I am not talking about believes.

I mean he used to be less open with us, less animated and more shut on himself and brooding. Now he laughs, makes jokes and gets excited, I'm really happy for him! It's like he found his true purpose and passion in life.

Kaidan

I forgot how sappy and adorable he is, when sorrounded by badass characters with edges so sharp it could cut a paper, you get so used to them and someone awkward like Kaidan easily stands out.

He's unsure, confused and just so very human. He's still trying to do the right thing while looking at Shepard for guidance. The fact he doesn't think twice before refusing Hackett's offer to have his own ship just to be with us again.

I don't think Kaidan feels complete without Shepard. In his romance he is so sappy and adorable too, earnest and speaking from the heart. Since the first game he was one for romantics and rarely relied on sexy flirting but rather love confessions are more his forte.

I mean look at this man my heart

I he is just so fjkwkcbaoxjs <3333333 he is the softest person in this whole trilogy, even Tali and Liara are more jaded than him at times. But he still acts as if we were his first love, as if he is a schoolyard boy giving his crush flowers and asking their favourite color.

Femshep

You mentioned only playing as maleshep so I'm not sure how different our experiences are, so I will mention the things I think are exclusive to femshep here.

In the reconcile scene in ME3 where your ME1 romance takes you back after you romanced someone in the second game, they accuse you of cheating.

Apparently maleshep can say it isn't cheating because they broke up with you on Horizon. But femshape has to apologise for cheating??? It's very weird idk dude.

I installed a mod that just let me have the maleshep dialogue instead.

You can also hit on Joker when he asks you about EDI.

And have a full conversation on him being with you instead.

He rejects you and says he's not Kaidan (ouch) and doesn't date crew, he will follow you into hell but not into your quarters.

EDI doesn't wear a uniform so he feels okay dating her.

Can you hit on EDI as maleshep?

Talking about EDI, it's making me really uncomfortable how openly the game is being inappropriate about her. I get she has a hot body and that's perfectly okay, but why does every other person feel the need to comment on it and sexualise her? Like she's an object or something.

ME1 had this problem with femshep where antagonists would hit on you to show them being trashy or whatever and the paragon option is to swallow it down and keep talking while the renegade option is to call them out on it.

And in ME2, someone calls you a stripper, and a turian npc asks about your boobs.

I thought they fixed it in ME3, and true, so far, femshep doesn't get these weird comments.

But instead everything was turned on EDI and the game keeps bringing it up and it's just gross my dude. At least Shepard could tell them to fuck off but EDI can't.

James Vega is a character I really like! I loved his bro relationship with Shepard so much. Even as femshep he still says "hey man" or things like that.

But it is weird when he hits on you out of the blue without any prior interest indications. I envy the platonic bro relationship he has with maleshep, really wish femshep could have the same one.

He isn't even a romantic interest, you don't flirt with him or anything. He just hits on you sometimes. Because. Woman. Ig.

Eve opens up to you more as femshep, that was nice and made me feel better. She is one of my favs too, I love everything about her.

Thane

The Thane romance broke me oh my god.

He calls you Siha when he warns you about the citidal attack. In his romanced ending, his last ever act before dying is to literally pray for you, not for himself but for you. For his goddess to forgive you and grant you eternal love and peace, his son even joins him.

He says your heart is pure despite all, that's the goddess should keep you by her side and make you a companion to her much like you were to Thane. The moment is so touching and genuinely emotional I actually cried.

The voice actor for femshep is phenomenal in this too. You get used to Shepard's harsh and commander voice tones and suddenly it's all soft and quiet, whispery and on the blink of tears and it literally cracks your heart open and makes you realise how this big strong commander is crumbling watching the love of her life die in front of her.

And the dress looks so out of theme i know but the context to it just makes the scene even more sad.

I didn't know the citidal mission would start, I didn't know about any of this when I finished tuchanka. I just picked the prettiest red dress I could find because I was excited to see Thane again and wondering if he'll kiss Shepard again because he mentions he can't do it much bc of his sickness and would need some rest so I assume a mission or two will reset it.

So in my mind, I'm getting ready for this cute date with Thane, dolling my Shepard and all excited and happy walking to the citidal. Thinking about him and looking forward to his dialogue and make I'll take some pics with him in this pretty outfit.

But it's...he doesn't get to see it. He doesn't get to see Shepard in her pretty dress that she wore for him because she had to change into armour for the mission. Then he gets stabbed and you can't even stay by his side after he saved you from an assassin.

Btw that assassin scene was so fucking cool, it's easy to forget how badass Thane is and how deadly he can be even while dying.

By the time it's all over, Shepard had to go see him in the same red dress for their date because If I went to the Normady to change he would've already died. There is no time. This outfit that was supposed to celebrate their love has become the dress for his funeral instead, the date on his deathbed and it's squeezing my heart painfully.

Like that is the oufit of someone who thought they had more time, of someone who didn't realise how close tragedy came by.