#ganon is being so serious

[pomdor]

Kyudo Vio with long hair (bc the hat looked kinda stupid)

[phoenixcatch7]

Reading loz/lu fics and it's just so interesting how wide the spectrum is of their personalities.

Sometimes it's got an in universe reason (different past (usually gender or species change), recent or ongoing traumatic events, a spectacularly bad first meeting), but sometimes (often) the characters are just... Weirdly angsty or peppy, there's no in between!

And I'm beginning to think less people have played more than one game than I thought XD.

Not that it's anyone's fault! One game is more than enough to be part of it all, and loz is exclusive to Nintendo consoles - and all the older stuff is frustratingly hard to get hold of. Heck, I'm still looking for wind waker, and that was really popular! And then you have to play it! They're not small games!!

But could people writing wild please ease off just a tiiiiiny bit so he can be a semi functional member of society pretty please XD? He's just as much a polite boy as any other member of the chain! He won't even run in shops! He can't attack npcs! He talks to every single person he's ever seen and remembers every single name. Yes, he's three quarters woodland creature with a hefty amount of trauma but he's also a fashionista who managed to avoid accidentally taking sides in a mayoral election and that's not easy!

[svtskneecaps]

yknow as a wee bab i always kinda assumed i'd be the range type of video game fighter yknow keep to the background, wait for a chance, preferred weapon is a bow or whatever

nah. "sprint in and mash the attack button until it stops moving"

[dia-oro]

Imagine referring to The Chain as your 'wifes'

And they would carry proud that tittle! You all just have to do is love them and be there for them in their moments that old ghost visit their minds, because what better than be love by someone that will stay in the down as in their up? time was raise by the forest spirit child’s, do you think this man know what the difference from wife to husband? He will take it at stride being your dear wife and your rock to stay ground when you feel like falling apart by just the most gentle breezed. Also he come with a bonus, because how no to love malon? She now call you both her precious wife’s. (And you been your knees at malon supremacy) if wars try to correct you just put ‘male’ in from of the wife and he done for, he will even Pratt that he your male wife, heck he will be competitive with sky and twilight for seeing how more male wife material of the three of them (only if poly chain) of no well, he still will talk about you to every-fucking-one even with the help of wind he will have photos of you and will show it at times and call himself a lucky man (sorry Lana, the best person win him) and Zelda and impa are just ‘good for him’ aplaude his dedication, now wars attention to the conference!. blame wars that now he ‘male wife’ but for you twilight will just smile and let you call him wifey, just let the wifey one for private moments between the two of you. Need a hug but can’t say it? Your wife twilight will be at your side as wolfy confronting in silence you as you always did in the twilight hours.

legend, legend legend… he will snark, he will give these roll of eyes like is his job, but the moment he think somebody is messing with you? Someone made you cry? Hurt you feelings? He will proclaim very loudly that he your wife and that whoever did make you even let a little tear will know these boots are no only to got faster, they kick ass good to.

I hope you know that sky just like time come with a bonus, what does is feel that when you say it the first think he did is write Zelda because finally happened! You admit you’re theirs (well, you call him wifey! That counts right?) because he have been talking to his girl very serious of these feeling at Zelda at the moment she see you she know you’re their, call it Hylia, destiny or just you’re so special to her and to her beloved that must be that you’re make for them! Congrats, your human blood is probably still in some hero’s and they survive so much shite because of it, don’t think to deep of it or that some Zelda’s did have your blood no only the goddess in their body. four… if you see him freeze for like 15 minutes is like no because you did wrong but because the colors are going rampant, blue never will admit it but he very fluttered by it, vio may say ‘but I’m a man’ but do you think he really mind?? You better be prepare for him planing the pretties ring just for you, green is trying to control red, red is gone gone like for a fucking second you can be sure they lost him, but now he okay and planning the wedding even he was trying to convince vio and blue of they using a dress for making it the whole wife thing more official. do you understand you just call a Fae your wife right? Half or not, you’re now spouses in his mind, there’s no going back so live a happy ever after with your man, now you have in all Eras many sisters in law, he will try his best to make his world the best for you, he will there to help his Zelda to make the world you live and breathe one that one day world living.

My dear, wild, well, wild is doing a flip in the air giving twilight a heart attack right now, do you think he even know what gender mean? Do you see some of the clothes he use?? All he know is now he your wife and will make sure no blood moon , nail polish or even ganon follower ruined your day, he wild take you to ride his best Horse, present you to the lord of the mountain, give you his best food to make, best piece, you’re now his dear spouse in his mind, now yes he didn’t even remember how someone marry so he pretty sure you just call your beloved either ‘husband’ or ‘wife’ and done, you can’t unmake this dear.

[gay-jesus-probably]

Let me just preface this by saying everyone is allowed to have their own opinions, TOTK is a really fun game, and I'm glad that other people have been able to enjoy the story as well.

...But I'm being dead serious with my complaints about the narrative being 100% imperialist propaganda. And I'm getting really tired of people replying to those posts by saying it can't be imperialist propaganda, because imperialism is bad and the game says that Hyrule is the good guys.

Like, guys. That's not the argument you think it is. Yes, I am aware that the game tells us Ganondorf is a flat, one dimensional character with no ambitions, interests or motivations beyond destroying the entire world for the hell of it, and also it's totally not racist because he's green, not brown like literally every other member of his race. Unfortunately literally all of these things are kind of the entire goddamn problem.

See, the thing is, everyone trying to make these arguments is accepting the game at face value. Hyrule is the perfect and almighty nation chosen by the demigod Zonai, and whose royal family has the right to rule due to their divine heritage. The other races exist to serve the glory of Hyrule, and they're happy to do it. Ganondorf is pure evil and must be stopped at any costs.

But that's not how anything works. The story informing me that Hyrule is the ultimate good that has done nothing wrong is the whole goddamn reason why I don't trust Hyrule at all. There's always more of a reason than that. And the game fucking suggests there was more going on! Ganondorf mentions Rauru has repeatedly 'invited' the Gerudo to become Rauru's subjects, and let's be clear here, it doesn't matter how peaceful those 'invitations' were, when the guy who owns every single magical nuclear missile in the world repeatedly demands you surrender to him, there's always going to be an implied threat of 'do it or get magically nuked'. Just that power difference alone shows us exactly why Ganon would feel threatened enough to invade. It's because Rauru was holding a gun to his head, and Ganon was expected to just trust that he'd never pull the trigger.

And yes, even if it wasn't intentional Hyrule was always threatening to wipe out the other nations, considering the entire royal family walked around openly wearing their magical nukes as cute accessories. If they couldn't be safely hidden away, there wouldn't be four other secret stones sitting untouched in a vault until the last second.

But that's never acknowledged. Of course Hyrule is the only nation with the right to the secret stones; even if other races get to touch them, they can only have them if they swear eternal blind loyalty and servitude to the glory of King Rauru and Princess Zelda. Ganon wanting to have one magical nuclear bomb out of a stockpile of eight of them is proof that he's dangerous and evil. I mean my god, what if he just walked around all day wearing a magical nuke and using its power for his own benefit, that would be terrifying. It's only okay when Hylian royalty does it.

And you can't argue that Ganon betrayed his own people, considering we don't get to know fucking anything about his relationship with his people. He's shows as the leader of the Gerudo, we're told he's a hero to his people, he has soldiers that loyally follow him into battle... and then oh nevermind, they all hate him and will spend eternity trying to atone for sharing a race with him. How did the entire race do a complete 180 in the span of at most a few months? Who cares, what's important is that now they accept they exist to serve Hyrule so they get to be the good guys now and we don't need to know why they were following Ganondorf, or why they stopped following him.

Basically my point is that yeah, I fucking know how the game insists everything went down. That's the entire reason I think it's imperialist propaganda, because the entire story feels like Hylian propaganda to conceal and justify some horrific atrocities that caused all of this. I literally do not believe that I'm getting the story through reliable narrators, especially considering that the only people allowed to actually tell me the story are all the characters that have the most reasons to be heavily biased in favour of Hyrule.

When the game shows me protagonists that have a massive amount of power and control over the entire world, then says the bad guy doesn't like that system just because he's evil, and literally nothing and nobody in the game says anything to oppose that take, I have some questions about what the fuck the story isn't telling me. And I'd really appreciate it if people would stop trying to argue with me just by telling me to stop asking those questions.

[pitchblackespresso]

I feel like I'm on r/OffMyChest, but there's something I've been meaning to say for some time

I dislike the Zonai

Their execution was lackluster (there's some interesting stuff, but the environmental storytelling is too sparse and inconsistent for any sort of coherent theory-crafting), but what I despise the most is how they're retroactively shoehorned into botw's worldbuilding

The Sheikah tech ? Heavily implied to be a derivative of the Much Superior Zonai tech

Hyrule Castle? Was built to honour Rauru's sacrifice

Calamity Ganon? Leaked gloom-turned-malice from dehydrated Ganondorf's seal

Temple of Time? The ~original~ was Zonai-made

Typhlo Ruins? Actually Hylian made, but to honour the great King Rauru (again)

Rauru himself is Zelda's ancestor (and implied source of her sealing powers, retconning the Triforce)

The Forgotten Temple? Also Zonai and used by King Rauru to hide the Secret Stones

Ancient Hero? Some kinda Zonai hybrid creature

This narrative of "everything was the Zonai/Rauru all along" is one I don't vibe with, because not only does it give inconsistent backstory to things that didn't need it, but they then left us with more questions than answers due to just how little we actually know about the Zonai.

I also wanna mention how much I dislike the Gacha machines that dispense the complete eyesore that are the Zonai devices. They're a fun enough gameplay concept (tho I don't personally like it), but it makes no sense how you get functioning hydrants or rockets out of gachapons. The Sheikah tech was given ample backstory, and clashed with Hyrule's otherwise rugged wilderness for thematic reasons. The Zonai tech is just kind of an ugly reminder that this is a videogame, and that you get these pre-made devices because the devs wanted to make a sandbox, regardless of whether it fits in this medieval high fantasy setting with serious undertones and environmental storytelling. And since they're branded as Zonai-made, they add to my discontent with the Zonai

I love this game, and it's done so much right (even tho some people might say otherwise), but I cannot bring myself to enjoy much of anything related to the Zonai, which, despite being barely in the game, play a huge role in the story, environment and worldbuilding

[blueskittlesart]

if dark link was in totk how do u think he'd be handled ?

badly

sigh ok hold on ill be serious. i don't really think a dark link in totk would ever be necessary because totk is already doing everything that dark link did in oot, just via different methods. environmental things like the silent princess memorials and the spirits of dead soldiers offering up weapons in the depths give us a sense of the guilt link must feel over his past actions, as well as the fact that the inciting incident of the game is a similarly-framed failure in the face of an enemy which takes zelda and causes widespread destruction to hyrule. i've said it before, but link literally carries proof of that mistake and the guilt from it with him for the entire game in the form of rauru's arm--a reminder that his OWN arm wasn't good enough to prevent all this.

I think there are a few fights which cumulatively have similar narrative weight for totk link to the oot dark link fight, one of them being the gloom hands/phantom ganon (and yes, there is at least one required instance of this fight in order to get the true ending of the game, it's in korok forest.) the gloom hands are imo representative specifically of link's fear of failure and his guilt over his past failures. there's a reason they manifest initially as hands, and when they chase him they perform that reaching motion that's so reminiscent of him reaching for zelda and ultimately failing to catch her. they also cause a "midday blood moon" effect when link approaches them, which is strikingly similar to the way the sky changes when you approach calamity ganon in botw--his first major failure. once you fight and defeat the gloom hands, they reveal their true form--phantom ganon. if the hands themselves are symbolic of link's guilt and percieved failure, phatom ganon is the truth behind it--it was never link's fault in the first place. ganon is the cause of the destruction. link is blaming himself for something that he is not at fault for, and only after he faces his own guilt and fear head-on will the actual truth (phantom ganon) be revealed.

the other fight that i think sort of occupies the same narrative space as dark link in oot is the puppet zelda/phantom ganon fight in the castle sanctum. similarly, this fight deals with illusion and memory, and is explicitly ganon manipulating link using his trauma and guilt. There's a reason ganon leads link up into the sanctum, a place which obviously holds a crazy amount of significance for him. there's a reason puppet zelda turns the ruined room pristine again, and there's a reason she specifically mentions "memories" multiple times as she does it. ganon is attempting to break link down by poking at what he knows are sore spots--link's guilt over the way that hyrule was destroyed during his hundred-year absence, the fact that he doesn't remember much of his life pre-calamity (if you watch his face during that cutscene when she says 'memories'... agh. anyways.) his guilt over specifically what happened to zelda. All of this comes together so that ganon can force a vulnerable and unprepared link into a difficult battle in the hopes of taking him out. When link defeats phantom ganon, the sanctum returns to its ruined state, and puppet zelda disappears completely from hyrule. she's not even in the blood moon cutscenes anymore. Metaphorically, this is link coming to terms with the fact that she's really gone, and that he has to keep going anyway.

[yasmeensh]

Zelda 2 comic sneak peek

I took out my old full-length Zelda 2 comic draft and chose a segment to make a short comic out of. It's missing context from the whole grand narrative of the entire story, but I think it gets the point across.

There were a couple potentials, and I ended up choosing the scene where Link discovers that his blood is the key to awakening Ganon. It's the most well-known plot point of the game in the LOZ fandom in general, besides the Prince of Hyrule plot. Throughout the comic, Link gets attacked by various monsters during his quest. He thought Hyrule was incredibly dangerous for merchants and travelers, but found out that it was only him encountering monsters at a high rate, thus targeted (that is not discussed in this short comic). This disturbs him a lot. And this is the scene when he discovers why he's a target. It's more than the monsters seeking revenge.

At some point in the game, the player is made to travel towards south-western Hyrule and use the Hammer on dueling peaks to enter and get a magic potion. You specifically enter the peak that is originally Level 9 in Zelda 1. I found that to be very... interesting. And suspicious. Why did the developers think "Okay lets have Link go back to the traumatizing final boss place from the first game to retrieve an item :D" It's kinda epic honestly and it gave me the idea: For the full comic, I made it that Link follows rumors and travels down there in the hopes of finding the magic book containing the revive spell, which is game-changing for the rest of his journey. Being the adventurer that he is, Link takes the risk and goes there thinking the place is long-abandoned and that Ganon probably no longer exists. Except, that isn't the case. (Okay I must add, after the revelation, Link loses his adventurous spirit and gets very serious with his quest. No longer enjoys exploring, which is all this Link is about. He starts developing Big Fears. This eventually spawns Dark Link. I wish I could make the entire comic but I know I can't T-T I should probably finish up and polish the draft and post it online for whoever is interested in a deep dive, lore-intense Zelda 2 story reimagining.)

It's the first time I do a 10 page comic, so I'm going through a learning curve right now xD It's going to be experimental, but I hope you enjoy it still. Here are some WIP shots. Still a while before it's completed.

[echoesofwisdomcountup]

1 Day Since Echoes of Wisdom Release. Oh boy am I excited to share my initial thoughts and some screenshots I took. I played for about 4 to 5 hours and did the first rift and temple. Also got to the Gerudo desert area. So if you've already played past that, have no fear.

I made sure to take a screenshot of Link right before he got eaten by the portal. I knew the scene was coming so I had to take a little memorial photo. Also I died to Ganon the first time ... ouch. I kept mistiming the magical tennis section due to the lag bwtn my switch and laptop. Anyway, the three shot arrow thing was very cool and I ended up shooting Ganon a lot. Turns out you can just side step the heat seeking magic ball and shoot him in the head.

Me @ Zelda: The swordsman has a name you know. (little did I know at that point, Zelda did not know what Link's name was). Anyway, Nintendo loves to mess with a serious moment by having the item get animation. It's a classic.

"That's nice" she says. This one felt a little condescending. Zelda was like yeah a single rupee... you know I'm a princess right? Well Zelda despite being royalty you were broke when I picked this up.

Of course I immediately jumped on the fence and then on top of this house. No echoes needed. Parkour comes before seeing the King.

Zelda holding a pot right before breaking it. I joked to my partner that Zelda has a strange new compulsion after picking up that swordsman's cloak. Must break all pots.

ZELDA CAN SWIM???!! The way I jumped into the well water expecting to drown and being absolutely shocked when that didn't happen. She can just swim from the get go and dive too. Also she can jump with no rock feather. Crazy. The advantage of being a princess with tutors.

In the castle after breaking every single pot, is this a chicken? Or a loft-wing. Who knows.

SHE HAS A HORSE TOY IN HER ROOM!!! It's very cute. Also I wonder if those flowers are a nod to silent princess flowers. They also remind me of the flowers in OOT in the courtyard where Link talks to Zelda for the first time.

Gotta take a quick nap before seeing the King. Also Zelda has a cat. That's so cute. Idk what to name the cat.

Ok, that's it for today. More tomorrow.

[shadows-writing-lounge]

Content: General Horny headcanons. Ganondorf calculations. General Ganondorf .

Kinks and activities mentioned: Size kink, fingering(Ambiguous)

Ganondorf only for now(I was tempted to put stuff for Ganon, phantom Ganondorf and Demise).

Reader: This post his general, gender neutral, without mentions of genitalia. Butt stuff fair game. Reader is refered to as smaller than Ganondorf because no matter the iteration he's at least 7'6" feet<228.6 cm> (Oot source Hyrule Historia) and they keep making him bigger. (Gamespot pixel counted and said Totk Ganondorf is about 10 feet <305cm>) you/your

Pussy having reader version

Dick having reader version

More of this

General Headcanons

Ganondorf's goods

Balls are also heavy. They really fill your palm. I see people use breeder balls very often but I think it's an apt description of these boys.

As we all know he's big. Big in every aspect. I don't like to designate specific sizes or details for self projection sake but for the people that asked I'll attempt to describe it for y'all. Despite what people think height doesn't equal bigger dick but ignore this because he a big boy anyway. After some tasteful research. Which means I looked at studies of hand to penile length calculations, looked up some fan estimates he's at least 22.9cm <9 inches> though I'd personally say bigger. Girth could also be wild but I will limit it to 17.78 cm <7 inches> in max because the human anus can stretch to 17.78 cm <7-7.5 inches> if you're into that feel free to go bigger. It's hefty. Hangs down when erect.

Ganondorf carries more that one great sword 👍 (watch me edit this out at a later date)

Cum wise I imagine him with a thicker consistency. Opaque. Slightly salty. He has no preference where he cums so if you do be sure to tell him.

Ganondorf is a king who takes self maintenance serious. Literally never looks bad or ungroomed. Though I believe there wouldn't be time to shave. He is clean and would most likely trim beforehand if he thinks he'll initiate intercourse.

Muscle lovers are feasting good. Nice ass and thighs with every iteration. Torso changes but I think all of them are pretty good.

Ganondorf is not that vocal during the act. Usually only responding when talked to or the need arises. Confirmation of continued consent or if something is working etcetera.

Ganondorf's kinks

I will say his kinks probably change depending one which iteration you're looking at though some are shared. I'd peg Ganondorf as uncaring of his partner's sex.

-Size kink(all) is an obvious one. He's so much bigger sometimes he doesn't even need to undress to overwhelm his lover as they struggle to take his fingers. Though he also enjoys the reverse of his smaller partner taking control. Just don't instigate a coup on your self.

-Going along with size kink Ganondorf likes to Manhandle. Holding his partner in the air, holding them down and moving them mid bang and some iterations are into being a little rough physically.

-Praise kink both receiving and giving. (All) Oot Ganondorf sometimes leans into the mocking variety. Warriors very sparingly praises but always means it.

-Degradation kink giving only.(OoT, TP, ToTK) Twilight Princess is that classy degradation. Wind Waker would attempt but wouldn't be able to do it long as he feels it's dehumanizing. All you'd really get is the rare times when he's outraged.

OoT makes me think he'd be into Dacryphilia.(ToTK as well but lesser)

Roleplay involving power imbalance. OoT only if he's the higher power, HW he'll humor being the lower power, TP occasionally either or.

ToTK generally refuses to give up power unless you offer in a specific way. Such as it being akin to worship or that he's so powerful he doesn't even bother to give an effort. Stroke both is dick and his ego. Predator/Prey is the only exception you can't convince him to act prey like.

Exhibitionism. Even if an iteration doesn't care for others seeing their partner naked. He is a possessive and jealous man. He revels in showing off what's his and other's knowing they're off limits. If he has access to a throne...

Body worship. Both receiving and giving. He enjoys letting his partner know how much he desires them and vice versa.

Note: I'm not really into Degradation, Daceyphilia, so I can really get into depth as I would like. If you have ideas feel free to send it in. For educational purposes of course.

Reader Insert Headcanons

Regardless of how much you weigh or how big you are. He'd be able to pick you up. He likes letting you know this. So malleable small in his grasp. Sometimes his hand makes it's way around your neck. Not tightly but the warmth makes it clear it's there and how much only one hand wraps around you.

He's patient taking his time, relishing it it even, working you open. OoT and ToTk will more inclined to edge you until he can fully slip in. If you voice annoyance he'll do the opposite overstimulating you until he's satisfied.

Very encouraging of you to make noise. Perhaps say how well he's doing. WW is basically the only iteration who's not overly teasing.

Sessions where Ganondorf's focuses solely on you are mostly non penetrative.(unless you request) Outercourse, and intercrural being the focus.

Adding on to that he finds hit very endearing and cute if during a thigh job his tip peeks out the other side. Those he'd praise you if your thighs cover all of him.

Feel free to ride his thighs to completion. He'll let you go unless you ask for his touch. He doesn't hesitate to join fondling and presses kisses where he can reach without disrupting your ministrations. He waits until either you cum or plea for him to help release your buildup.

Couple things for Anorgasmia

Whether it's just difficult or complete lack Ganondorf doesn't mind if you can't come. If it's difficult but possible and you want to climax, he'll have you guide him. Telling him how and we're to touch to force out that climax.

Otherwise he relies on you informing him of he's doing something that's uncomfortable or painful.

[tashacee]

It’s implied that Time and Aspect!Wild talked to each other about their moon related trauma, what was Time’s reaction to Wild describing the horrors of the blood moon? What was Wild’s reaction to Time talking about his adventure in Termina? How many of The Chain know about Termina?

I’m so curious and desperate to know how that conversation went. Could it maybe even be a short story please?

Look I know this is VERY overdue but i REALLY liked this idea and wanted to do it justice so

Aspects of the Moon

“So.” Time said, shuffling his feet. “The moon, huh?”

“Oh hell no, spooky-boy, you’re talking first, you were accusing me of being a moon-demon ten minutes ago. I deserve to know why.” Wild chuffed as he signed and flicked his tail to show that he wasn’t actually mad. But still. Sure, he’d spill his own moon trauma, but he absolutely deserved to hear Time’s first.

The old man sighed, raking a hand through his hair.

“Uh…” he said. “I… guess that’s fair.” he sighed and shook his head. “It… it’s really weird. You probably won’t believe me.”

“I came back from the dead. Multiple times.” Wild deadpanned.

Time chuckled. “I mean when you put it like that.” he laughed. “Fine. You win. So… when I was a kid. A real kid. Well. Sort of. I was ten, but it was after my first adventure, which took around two years all things considered, so I was also kind of twelve? But yeah, I was ten.”

“Time, what the fuck?” Wild held up his hands, blinking. “Were you ten or twelve, this isn’t that hard?”

Time snorted. “I’m the Hero of Time, Wild. It really is that hard. Now stop interrupting, this is my trauma I’m talking about here.”

Wild rolled his eyes jokingly, but waved for him to continue.

“Okay so. I fell into a tree and woke up in another world, called Termina. And everyone in Termina was freaking out ‘cause the moon was about to crash into the ground and kill them all. Actually that’s not true. A lot of them weren’t freaking out, they had other issues, which seemed a little short-sighted of them, but who am I to judge? Anyway, the moon kept getting closer - it had a face, by the way. The moon did. Big angry face. Very freaky -and after three days it crashed into the earth and killed everyone. So I rewound time to see if I could stop it. Um. It took a lot of times. Couple of years worth of three day cycles, but like, I kept resetting myself too so I was still ten. And then eventually I fought the moon and escaped. But yeah. That’s. That’s my issue with the moon.”

Wild stared at him.

“Time, what the fuck?”

“I did tell you the biggest thing I ever fought was the moon.”

“Yeah but I thought you were joking!”

“Clearly.”

“Fuck!”

“Yep.”

Wild nodded slowly, staring into the darkness of the woods around him. That was… wow. That was a lot. No wonder Time has issues. If even half of that was true - and Wild had no reason to doubt his brother’s word - then it was frankly astounding that he was functional at all.

“Okay. so.” Time leaned back against a tree. “What’s your story? Why do you hate the moon.”

Oh yeah. That had been the deal, hadn’t it. Time had told his sstory, so now Wild would tell his.

Ugh.

He shrugged.

“Not as dramatic as yours.” he admitted. “In my journeys - both of them, actually - every full moon rose red and Ganon’s power waxed in the air. His evil became visible rising from the ground and at the stroke of midnight, every monster that had been slain returned to life at once. You could hear them howl through the night all at once. It sucked serious ass.”

Time stared at him.

“All of the monsters?”

“Yep.”

“Even - even the big ones?”

“Sure did. Full moons… I don’t trust em.”

“No shit! No wonder you hate them!”

“Word.”

“Fuck.”

They sat in silence for a moment, both thinking about each others’ respective moon traumas. Then Wild pulled out his slate, flicked through a few sections, and pulled out his strongest bottle of whiskey, offering it to Time.

“Fuck the moon, amirite?”

Time grinned, accepting it. “Yeah. Fuck the moon!”

[vampire-wizard-solidarity]

i think the way totk references skyward sword only highlights the problems with totk and gets a little insulting at times.

this is mostly about ganondorf’s demon king form being highly reminiscent of demise. i get that it makes sense, since ganon’s power most likely comes from demise’s curse, so when it’s amplified it visually references that. that’s neat, and not an inherently bad idea, even a good one in some aspects.

however, all it does for me is highlight just how much of a non character ganondorf is. demise is, to an extent, also a non character: he isn’t deep nor extensively fleshed out, but the thing is, not all characters have to be. and him, he works. most of the game is spent with ghirahim, his much more expressive and motivated sidekick. he’s fun, intimidating when he has to be, and balances being silly and being an actual threat well. demise is the kicker, the final punch, when ghirahim spent the entire game building him up, we finally get to see him, he’s intimidating, he’s serious in contrast to ghirahim, he immediately shuts the villain we spent most of the game fighting up, and reduces him to an object to be used to fulfil his own goals. his boss fight is cool, and so is he.

demise is a god of destruction, he doesn’t have a motivation beyond the fact that he is a representation and wields power over evil. and that’s the point. skyward sword’s themes largely center humanity vs inhumanity, link spends a large portion of the game running around fulfilling a plan he doesn’t fully understand, being roped into this ordeal before he even finds out about it, not really comprehending what’s happening or why for a long time. so, it’s only natural the final force he has to face is an equally incomprehensible threat, and he defeats it not because he comprehends it more now, or understands the ancient conflict between gods or any of that. he does it because he wants to protect someone he loves, he does it because he forms a genuine bond with the robotic, originally emotionless guide who was made only for the purpose of aiding him in this godly plan. humanity triumphs over godhood. humanity triumphs over inhumanity.

in totk, however? there really isn’t much difference between ganondorf before and after he becomes the demon king. he has no particular motivation before or after, he is a king who wants to rule over hyrule with evil, and then he becomes a more powerful king who wants to rule over hyrule with evil. he looks more like the god of destruction now, but that signifies nothing other than he is more powerful now. ganon has always been associated with power, and the way power corrupts has always been a fitting theme for him. he could’ve had development throughout the game, and him becoming more like the literal godly representation of evil could’ve signified that development. maybe he was a king with an actual motivation, an actual in story reason to oppose hyrule, we could’ve been shown his human side, what he actually cares for and why he does the things he does, and then we could’ve seen that side of him dissolve as he taps more into his power, becomes more like a being of destruction that destroys simply because that’s what it has power over. him taking visual cues from demise could’ve actually meant something, could’ve been a visual representation of the way his power corrupts him. instead, we get nothing. there was no reason to bring ganondorf back, because he still acts like a motivationless monster, who is evil simply because he is. all talk of this being “his game” was a lie, considering he could easily be replaced by a generically evil monster and nothing would’ve changed.

ultimately, i still wouldn’t have been happy with this story because it would still lean heavily on the orientalist narratives still alive and present in zelda, but this would’ve been at least something. the way it is, the fact that he takes visual cues from demise pisses me off because it highlights just how one dimensional his character is, it makes me feel only cynicism because it makes it clear that ganondorf was only brought back because he’s a popular and iconic character and not because he had any purpose in the story or because the writers had anything interesting to do with him.

[the-moon-files]

Who do you think you could beat in a fight? like no weapons, not power gloves/bracelets, just bare hands and a dream.

BARE HANDS AND A DREAMMMM

who let u be this funny kota lmao

Tbh, me v. anything stronger than a chicken or a chuchu, they winning.

Ive only Just started going to the gym, i have very little muscle that isnt from carrying groceries, so hands down, not many things i would realistically fight in botw/loz games in general

If ur talking abt the Links tho?? Uh, none. 💀

Im not that delusional (yet), i mean i guess if u wanna get creative with it, I think, personally,

I could beat some of them in a drinking game lol

Like maybe Sky, Hyrule, Four, Wild, and (to his lightweight dismay) Legend, just bc im not a lightweight so thatd be funny

But general strength? Nah probably none of them

But u wanna hear my delusional takes on this, like if i would just swing regardless of actual strength discrepancy,

Weirdly enough, Hylia? LMAO

*

(Warning, Hylia bashing, if u like her a lot for whatever reason and are going to feel the need to comment in her defense, pls find another post to do that on, this rlly isnt that serious)

*

Alright, let me explain, let me explainnn

So i saw LU blogs defend this better than me, but basically Hylia (not Zeldas) is like lowkey another root cause for problems in Hyrule, she kind of encourages this endless cycle of abuse of "heroes" or mortals, to enlist in this eternal battle against Demise/Ganon, when he's technically immortal, and she should be fighting him herself.

Or at least not making mortals (who can Die) fight for her, especially with the setup being a SINGULAR MORTAL. like not even an army of mortals

(Like i get it, its for stupid-plot-not-rlly-thought-out-reasons so the games get to exist, but suspend ur disbelief pls, assuming this is now a real universe that ive got dropped into)

There are other reasons, like how she possesses every Zelda lowkey against her will, or without her permission to be in her body at least, and that she sort of? I thought, like? Wants to to be with Link every time? Feels kinda creepy?

Idk that one may not be true, but there are way cooler blogs out there that have a nicer receipt list of beef with Hylia, pls find them

But most importantly, if u take nothing else away from this, its that, someone out there, in the depths of LU tumblr, gave reasonable, logical, justifications about how Legend could take down Hylia on his own.

She's basically all magic, so if she suddenly had no more magic in this scenario, im betting that i could at least tackle her and turn it into a bar fight lol

Revenge for all the Links u could say,

I actually thought abt making a fic that had smth like this premise, but eh, ive got so much to write abt rn i havent taken it on

Plus, hey, who doesn't wanna fight God a little?

Hope that answered ur question! Or at least was entertaining!

Sorry if u rlly like Hylia for whatever reason and i just shat on her for like a small paragraph, idk, just unread it or smth

(Im still watching a playthru of SS, but i think i also could specifically take Ghirahim in a arm wrestling contest, ok thank you, good night)

Peace out,

🌙

[layraket]

Day 25 – Surgery

Character(s): Hyrule and Wild (LU)

Words: 636

Summary: Hyrule was the medic of the group, or at least he usually was

Whump scale: 2 (see the full scale here)

Warnings: Injury and blood

-

When there’s someone injured the first instinct that Hyrule follows is to aid them and heal their wounds.

When he gets injured, his first instinct to follow is to heal himself.

If his magic isn’t enough, the only thing left is to run. If he can’t, he tries to remember the prayers that he used to say to the goddesses.

An arrow on his abdomen, it wasn’t that bad, he could easily take it out and heal himself, but his magic was low and he didn’t wanted to risk it. Although, the blood coming out without stopping was making him afraid, this wasn’t his era, but if it were, he would prefer to not have any magic left before the resurrection of Ganon.

Another arrow hit his leg, stopping him from getting away to a safer place and making him hit the ground. It burns, these monsters seemed even more intelligent than they usually were, the arrow being made with iron instead of flint or stone.

The little magic left on his body couldn’t be enough to cast any spell, and if he tried his wounds would just get worse.

“Traveler’s down!” It was Wild, already running to his direction.

The champion was visceral in the battlefield, killing all monsters with whatever he had on his hands. It was useful right now, as he already broke his arsenal and only had the half of a broken claymore.

When the champion arrived, his wounds were already spreading, the effect of the iron on his half-fae body slowly worsening. “Oh, this is… We need to get it out, this might have poison.”

They didn’t know his heritage. He hasn’t told them yet.

Hyrule limited himself to explain it, instead he decided to direct Wild to what to do. “Take the arrows out first, then��� Clean the wound and a potion should do the work.” Blood was still coming out, and the burning of the iron made thinking straight hard.

Wild did this, he got out the arrow on his leg with a fast tug and poured some red potion on the injury, making the hemorrhage stop there.

When it came to the arrow on his abdomen, things got complicated.

A crack was heard, and he gave himself the permission to panic.

“W-Wild?” He turned to see what was the champion doing, and he saw why the sound.

The arrow broke, apparently already fragile. Not only the wooden part was broken, parts of iron were also now separated from it. It had cracks on purpose, this was to hunt fae.

These arrows with enough strength from the prey the tip of the arrow will crack, leaving pieces and making it even more difficult to take completely out.

“Should I…?” The champion was holding the bottle with the red potion, waiting for instructions.

“Listen,” Hyrule gathered his courage, if these pieces weren’t taken out of his abdomen, the iron will get through his flesh and do serious damage inside “Take these pieces out as soon as you can, you-you cannot let them there. They will make it worse.”

Maybe Wild thought that this was about the poison, he wasn’t far from the truth.

Usually, Hyrule’s hands would be stable and could take every shard out without problem, but Wild’s, oh sweet Wild’s hands were shaky. It wasn’t his fault, he knew it, but it didn’t stop it from hurting the whole time.

Each shard was removed, leaving burned flesh and a pain that was only made less intense by the potion.

“Alright, let’s go” He was better, so he got up and went again to the battle. He was the medic, so now that he was fine he needs to be there if someone is hit.

If Wild watched him almost trip and holding his side, he didn’t comment nothing.

[carpisuns]

me (newish zelda player, very bad at video games) being so so brave and venturing back into the depths (scary, real heebie-jeebies hours) to find a way into korok forest (my little haven, everyone loves me and calls me mr hero there)

I am in there for way too long and am being to feel more unnerved but then I see BEAN LIGHTS! I KNOW THOSE! I ascend. At last. My safe place.

but why is it so dark here?? It’s 9:25 am. All the koroks are zombies. gloom is creeping out of the deku tree’s belly. oh no.

I go in. I see chasm. I descend. gloom hands jumpscare. are you serious. I have never attempted to fight these things I only run away they’re so scary!!!

They squeeze my little lifey out multiple times and then i finally manage to do some damage but ALAS! I run out of arrows. I decide to retreat for supplies. I buy beedle out of arrows at three stables. I hunt for bombflowers. I bravely return. I end up using about 50 arrows and bombs and ice fruits (they come BACK if they’re not all down at the same time??? Good grief.)

but finally. finally. THE EVIL IS DEFEATED. I DID IT. THE HERO OF HYRULE. korok forest is safe!!!

WRONG! hello little guy says phantom ganon. I scream and die immediately. You can’t be serious. I already DID the hard scary thing. How is there MORE.

I fight gloom hands again and am killed by ganon again multiple times. I retreat for supplies AGAIN. More arrows. I go to the depths and collect millions of poe to trade for bombs and anti-gloom stuff. I transport to multiple locations to pick up more sundelions that I marked. I make so much food. I am finally ready.

I bomb the crap out of the gloom hands. I’m ready for you ganon. I eat my anti-gloom food. I still die. I try again. I am very bad at fighting. Theoretically I know how to perfect dodge and shield parry but I can never seem to manage it when it matters. But whatever. I brought so much food. I will simply eat a meal every time he hits me, which is many times.

Eventually I succeed purely from the power of kebabs. The forest is purified. I don’t even get a treat for it.

I miss the guardians.

[critical-birb]

My personal headcanon of the day is that the Blights weren't created by Ganon.

Hear me out. Ganon can create monsters, sure, but he can also take over Shieka devices - as seen by the fact he corrupts all the guardians and turns them into monsters.

The Blights don't look like regular monsters. They look like guardians. They look like they belong on the Divine Beasts, like they're made up of ancient Shieka tech.

I propose that the Blights are part of the Divine Beasts. That when these Beasts were being built, the Sheika knew they were ultra destructive weapons that could cause serious damnage - so they built in a sort of....kill switch. A feature built specifically to kill the Beasts pilot, should they ever become corrupt or it fall into evil hands. I propose the Sheika designed these robotic pieces of tech specifically to kill the pilot of the beast - and prayed this feature would never ever need to be used. It was a last resort. An absolute last resort should everything go wrong.

But then Ganon corrupted the Beasts - and with it, the kill switches. That's how they were made so perfectly to kill each Champion. Not because Ganon sought out their weaknesses - but because the Shieka already did it for him.

All he had to do was flip the switch.