#gaming wheel stand review

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

End Game 10

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, stalking, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your gaming buddy asks to meet up but it doesn’t go exactly as planned.

Characters: Andy Barber

Note: the best way to spend you Tuesdays is pissed at an old man.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You sleep for a few minutes here and there. The rushing traffic, the motion of the car, and the general unease of your circumstance wakes you several times over until you give up. You recognise the highway signs and sit up, rubbing your temples as you try to focus your vision. 

You gulp as you contemplate what’s ahead. You peek over at the man next to you. How do you explain this? 

You mull it over as you peer through the windshield and daze out at the license plate ahead of you. Kara isn’t easy to lie to and you’re a horrible liar. You don’t lie, you just don’t always tell her everything. You sigh and Andy shifts in his seat. 

“You alright, sweetie?” He asks, “we’re almost there. Can stretch our legs soon.” 

“She can’t know,” you say abruptly. 

He winces and shakes his head, “what do you mean?” 

“Kara. She can’t know... you’re a lawyer. My grandmother knows you. Or you’re an old friend of my parents. You’re doing me favour but in front of her we’re not... not...” you struggle to push the truth through your tight throat, “together.” 

“Right, makes sense.” 

“You’re getting her off the hook. That’s all she needs to know.” 

“Got it,” he replies crisply. 

You close your eyes and cringe. You shake your head. This is humiliating. You’re negotiating with him for your own pride. You can’t imagine telling Kara everything. You know that creep I told you about, he owns me now. Ugh. The thought makes you want to hurl. 

“I understand, sweetie, you gotta ease into this. I think it’s better we keep it on the down low anyway,” he speaks over the steering wheel. ‘Down low’, is he trying to be hip? “Wouldn’t be very ethical for me to represent your friend based on our relationship so...” 

“Yeah,” you mutter. Ethical.

It’s more than that. It’s that you would have to say it all out loud. That you would have to admit that you are nothing. That even though you want desperately to say no, to tell him to go away, that you did over and over, that you have no ground to stand on. The only person that wants you in this world is him and that’s just pathetic. 

“How about once we have everything sorted, you spend the day with her? Catch up with your friend? I’ll be at the hotel, give you some space to get your head on,” he offers gently, as if he’s doing a favour. In his eyes, everything he does is generous. “I mean, who knows the next time you’ll get to see her.” 

That last part hits you like a kick in the stomach. Will you see her again after you go off with this man? You still don’t understand what’s in his head. What exactly does he have planned? Are you going to be his plaything? His dirty little secret? He’s an attorney, rather famous by Google’s metric, so can he really be flaunting around with a woman half his age? Less. 

“Yeah, I guess,” you agree flatly and cross your arms. 

Your stomach lets out a long growl, filling the silence. You turn your face to the window, embarrassed. He chuckles and reaches over you pet your arm. 

“Hungry? Me too,” he goads. 

“I’m fine,” you insist and lean away from him. 

He puts his hand back on the wheel and switches lanes as you approach your exit. He sighs and merges onto the ramp. You grit your teeth to keep from screaming. He knows you don’t want this but he continues to pretend like it’s so normal. You don’t know if he’s gaslighting you or if he’s actually delusional. 

“How about you and Kara go get lunch? I’ll venmo you some money and--” 

“Jesus Christ!” You throw your hands up, “I get it! I get it! You’re such a good guy and I’m the poor fucking girl who can’t take care of herself, but goddamnit Andy, let me think. I still have a fucking brain.” 

He sucks in sharply through his nostrils and juts out his chin. The quick glance of his profile startles you. His anger ripples hotly in the air and makes you shiver. Why did you say that? 

“I’ve already told you not to talk like that. Profanity isn’t cute,” he snips as he grips the wheel tighter, his knuckles paling. “I know you have a brain, sweetie. That’s why I like you. You’re smart.” He takes measured breaths as you hear the tenuous control in his timbre, “I’m not trying to control you, I’m trying to help. I think I’m being pretty nice. Hm. I could just drag you back onto the road without stopping, couldn’t I?” 

You look down at your lap and squirm. Something flickers inside of you. A memory itches in your head. Another car ride, another angry man, telling you what he’s done for you, telling you he’s done giving and not getting. Your cheeks pinch with the threat of tears. 

“Sorry, dad,” you choke out. 

“What?” He hisses and nearly swerves. 

“Andy,” you cough and sit up straight, “sorry, I was mumbling. I’m sorry. Alright. I’m stressed and I haven’t slept.” You shake as you make yourself say what he wants to hear. “I know you’ve done a lot for me and I’m not... I’m not good enough. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Alright? I’m sorry. I just--” You swallow and roll your eyes up, “I’m sorry.” 

He lets the silence hang over you. He slows as he joins the local traffic. You recognise the streets. You’re reminded of the convention and how it all turned sour. All because of him. It feels like a rotten sort of irony that you’re back there together. 

“Sweetie, we’re both exhausted and it’s been such a long road,” he says quietly, “I forgive you but you need to watch your mouth. It’s not pretty when you talk like that.” 

You flinch. What the fuck? You try not to let the frown break through and flare your nostrils. 

“I’ll do better,” you utter. 

“I know you will,” he declares victoriously, “you’re a good girl, sweetie.” 

You don’t say much else. As he pulls up to the station, you mentally prepare yourself. You wish you could tell Kara everything. She was always the best shoulder to lean on but you know that’s too dangerous. She would flip out. You can imagine her confronting Andy and getting herself right back into trouble. No, this is your problem. 

“Might take a while,” Andy warns as he gets out. He opens the back door and takes out his jacket. As he pulls it on, there’s a marked change. The full suit completes that attorney picture. “Did you wanna come in? You’ll have to wait in the lobby.” 

“That’s fine,” you shrug. You’re restless. You just want Kara out and safe. “Are you sure you can fix this?” 

“Trust me, honey. I do this stuff all the time. Bonds and whatnot. I know what I’m doing,” he assures you. Oh, he definitely is all too aware of what he’s doing. 

“Alright.” 

“This shouldn’t be too hard. First offense, young, hanging out with the wrong guy,” he checks his beard in the side mirror, “easy.” 

The way he talks to lightly about the situation makes you sick. Does he think so little of other people and their lives? Is that why he just demolished yours? You nod and look away. 

“Okay, let’s just do it then.” 

You follow him past the police cruisers and to the front door of the precinct. He enters with confidence, holding the door for you. He points you to the chairs along the wall and promises he won’t be long. You sit and watch him, arms crossed as he marches briskly up to the front desk, shielded by panels of plexi-glass. 

“Andy Barber,” he says as he gets his wallet out, “my client is here. She’s asked for her right to an attorney...” 

You shrink in the chair. You are small compared to him. Look at how sure he is. Of everything. Of himself. He has had a lifetime whereas yours is already over. You barely keep from breaking right there. You could just keel over and dissolve into a puddle of self-pity. 

Andy’s led behind the heavy metal door to the left of the desk and you turn your attention to the wall. You drift into a mindless trance. You don’t want to think. The time ticks by as you lean back, your head against the cold brick. 

The ambient noise of the station buzzes around you and fades into the background. The ceiling turns fuzzy in your vision and your body detaches from your mind. You just sit there, waiting. 

Your name carries across the lobby and you snap up, nearly tipping yourself out of the anchored chair. You stand up as Kara runs across the tiles and throws her arms around you. Andy walks calmly behind her, keeping a good breadth between them. 

“Oh my god! You saved me,” she releases you, her eyes tired and swollen. She’s still in her pajamas. You can only think of the chaos that consumed her the last day; of how frightened she must have been. “How?” 

“Uh...” you look at Andy then at Kara. “Family friend. I was so worried, Kara.” 

“You were? I was,” she squeals, “I can’t believe...” she stops herself and spins around, “Mr. Barber, thank you.” She scurries over to him and shakes his hand, “thank you so much.” 

“Well, you know, I owed her grandma a favour,” he smiles. 

“I know but... oh, I’m just happy to be out.” 

“Nothing at all,” he assures and sends you a smug smile. “Unfortunately, I do have to get back to my other clients, so...” he checks his watch. The way he plays his role so smoothly unsettles you. “You two have a good day. You got my number if you need anything else.” 

He struts off and you stand in uncertainty. Shit. You need to come up with a story. Ugh. Your purse buzzes as Kara turns to you and you reach into it. ‘Andy Barber has sent you money.’ Fucker. 

You exhale and do your best to smile, “crazy...” 

“Oh my god, you have no idea. It was so cold in there. They took my shoes!” She looks down at her fluffy slides, “or slippers.” 

“Jesus, Kara, that must’ve been so scary.” 

“Yeah, it was. I didn’t think... I... I can’t believe did all this.” 

“Er,” you glance over at the officers behind the counter, “let’s get out of here.” 

“Happily,” she agrees and skips past you to the door. 

As you come outside, she sighs and stretches her arms above her, “wait, how did you even get here?” 

“Andy drove me... but I have a bus ticket for the way back. Tonight.” 

The lies are too easy. You hate that. You don’t want to lie for him. 

“He’s so nice,” she says, “wow, I... I’m just still so fucked up about this.” 

“What about Calvin?” 

“Oh, he got out last night. His parents. Loaded,” she sniffs, “left me in there all by myself.” 

“Oh, Kar--” 

“Whatever,” she snarls, “I’m about done with him anyways.” You plod along, aimless as you follow her lead. “Wait, alright, wait,” she snaps her fingers, “girl, you never told me what happened with that guy.” 

You’re speechless. You don’t know what to say. Fuck. 

“The catfish? Some old creeper? Ew. Nasty.” 

“Right,” you murmur and clear your throat, “you know, I blocked him. Told him to get fucked.” That’s true, you did, it just didn’t work. “Ugh, the magic of technology, huh?” 

“Sure,” she says, “some men are so nasty. Most of them, I swear.” She huffs and yawns as she checks her phone. It’s all she has on her. “We can catch a bus on the next block. Oof, fuck Calvin, I’m getting me a sugar daddy. I can’t do this shit no more.” 

“Kara,” you groan. 

“What? Men don’t give a fuck. If I’m gonna get anything out of them, may as well be money,” she scoffs. 

“Kara,” you repeat as your stomach churns. You need to explain things, not the real things, but you need to give her a good story. She’s clever and you can’t leave the ends untied. “How about I buy us lunch?” 

“Oh fuck yeah, I’m starving,” she exclaims, “I couldn’t handle that shit they gave me. The egg salad smelled like feet.” 

“Mm, we can order to your place?” 

“Sure,” she smiles, “what time are you out of here?” 

“Bus doesn’t come til eleven,” you dart your eyes around. 

“What’s wrong with you? I mean, I know it’s been a weird ride but you’re not telling me something.” 

You stop by the sign for the bus. You look this way and that. Just say something. 

“I’m moving.” 

“Moving?” She echoes. 

“Yeah, um, my grandma, she’s kinda done with me,” you speak quietly, carefully, weighing every word, “I got a transfer to a different school and uh, they offered me a scholarship...” 

“Wow, you really sound excited,” she remarks dryly. 

“Well, it’s a big change,” you shrug, “I’m still... tryna figure it out.” 

“Of course. That’s huge. Is it far?” 

You nod. 

“Oh,” she hangs her head, “right. Yeah, that’s shitty. But good. Good,” she smiles and lifts her chin, “you need to get out on your own. Away from your grandma. It’ll be great.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure,” you agree softly. “But I’ll miss you.” 

“Miss you too but I mean we’re already in different towns, so what’s a few extra miles,” she says, “when do you leave?” 

You stare across the street and your eyes glaze with tears, “tomorrow.” 

[invisibleicewands]

WORTH A LOOK?: *****

WHEN?: Saturday 24 February, opens 6 March and runs through 11 May 2024 RUNTIME: 160 minutes (including a 20-minute interval)

A grieving son wraps his dying miner father in his arms, apologises for everything he could have done better to look after him and vows to make good by helping others.

The son is Aneurin ‘Nye’ Bevan, the Labour politician and founder of the National Health Service on 5 July 1945, and Nye is the warts-and-all story of the man who would improve the health of countless millions of us and how he did it.

Nye died almost 15 years to the day he founded the NHS from stomach cancer and the conceit here is that he’s in hospital at the end of his life having a fever dream and wanders, pink pyjama-clad, through moments of importance.

Reading the article by former Labour leader Neil Kinnock in the programme about Bevan we discover his education was cut short at 13 when he followed his miner father down the pits to work in 1910.

In an almost reverse of film Dead Poets Society we meet the bullying schoolteacher who would cane a young Nye because of his speech impediment, the classmates who would protect him and the very Manic Street Preachers-like realisation that free libraries could give him the power to overcome his stammer by finding alternative words to those he could not utter.

Riffing on Dennis Potter’s Singing Detective Sheen’s Nye even sings Judy Garland’s Get Happy at 1 point as he and his miner colleagues use the time unemployment has afforded them to bone up on the way their home town of Tredegar in Wales is run and get themselves elected onto the boards of the bodies involved to finally do good by its people.

From our 4th row seats we see director Rufus Norris, also outgoing artistic director and chief executive of the National Theatre, tread the boards at the beginning of this 1st preview to remind us as such there might have to be a pause in proceedings because of the freshness of the material but perhaps 1 of the reasons its star Sheen is beaming so much during the curtain call (see picture below) is because it all actually went so well.

The action is staged as if in a hospital ward for much of the time with beds on wheels used to great effect and curtains around beds featuring prominently and at 1 point, rather brilliantly, lowering to become rows of seats in Parliament.

Tony Jayawardena (Marjorie Prime, Menier) is quite brilliant as Nye’s nemesis Winston Churchill, a man who succeeds in doing what Labour were unable to by uniting all classes in opposition to world war.

Sharon Small (Good, Harold Pinter Theatre) is more than a match for a revelatory performance by Sheen, at 1 point seemingly channelling the boyish enthusiasm of a young Declan Donnelly from Ant and Dec, as she explains the sacrifices she made to support her husband.

There’s a lot of injustice to make the audience angry here and there’s some terrific political theatre in London at the moment to both challenge the mind and make the heart soar – An Enemy Of The People and Standing At The Sky’s Edge for example.

Like the outstanding Dear England, this is an example of a venue at the top of its game doing exactly what it should be doing in offering insight into stories of those who have shaped our country and influenced the people we have become.

---------

Another one who sang "Get Happy":

[canmom]

Animation Night 184: Mars Express

Animation Night is baaaaaack from Annecy break!

And yeah, the last couple weeks of this blog have been pretty Annecy focused here on the canmom entertainment sphere. And tonight that will continue! For tonight we shall right a wrong! And that wrong is...

...that wrong is that I didn't get to see Mars Express at Annecy last year. @mendely did and I was super jelly, OK!

For real though, this was among the hottest tickets at Annecy last year, and despite queuing a bunch of hours, I didn't stand a chance to get in without a reservation. But what is it? Well, it's a scifi movie directed by Jérémie Périn. Who's Jérémie Périn?

Well, the true veterans may recall Animation Night 1, when I showed you a certain music video for a song called Fantasy by DyE...

...that's not gonna embed, is it? But if you know, you know. (If you don't know, it's the one where the teens break into the swimming pool to make out and such and then a bunch of them turn into tentacle monsters.)

So Jérémie Périn is the guy who directed that! He's also well known for directing Lastman, a crowdfunded action series in which a boxer battles a bunch of superpowered agents to try to protect a psychic girl, not that you'd gather any of that from this trailer...

and writing for Crisis Jung by Bobbypills - don't blink or you might miss the boob-growing henshin and the guy with a chainsaw dick...

And while Crisis Jung isn't primarily his project, we can still definitely trust that when Périn is at the wheel, we'll seem some incredibly stylish, anime-inflected drama and also some proper freaky imagery now and again.

Mars Express, however, is Périn's first foray into film rather than TV animation, building on the big success of Lastman - and a pretty high-effort foray at that, taking some five years to make. And by all accounts it kicks total ass.

But what's it about? Classic cyberpunk noir material: a detective and the android replica of her partner return to their home planet Mars after apprehending a robot hacker. But the hacker is released, and they're given a new mission - to work with this hacker and go down to a colony where, ostensibly, humans and androids live in harmony, and track down a guy who jailbreaks the androids from their artificial constraints. That sounds pretty shady already, right? But the dirty secrets are only beginning.

Mars Express definitely pays its homages to those classic 90s anime films and OVAs like Ghost in the Shell and Armitage III, as well as games like Another World for the Amiga, but by all accounts gives it a fresh approach, with grounded characters - protagonist Aline struggling with alcoholism, her reconstructed partner Carlos with his floating holographic head carrying the whole identity issue of being a robot clone who's been rejected by his original's wife - which anchors plenty of juicy scifi concepts like renting out your brain as a computer, or something called 'resonance' which is how robots do it. What does that mean? The review I'm reading left it at that! Guess we'll find out.

Like most European productions it brought together a long list of production companies and it's a little tricky to figure out which ones are actual animation houses, but the main company seems to be 'Everybody on Deck'. They previously worked with Périn on Lastman, but otherwise largely seem to have worked on live action films. However, the animation was split among a variety of studios.

We can at least say that it brought in French animators from across the shop, some even on this very website. (At least I seem to recall seeing people having posted about having worked on it, though if I search now I mostly find peoples' reviews of the film). It's animation leans realist, with naturalistic motion taking advantage of anime-style 3s and 2s to give it a weighty feeling, embedding its characters in detailed environments with strong colour design...

And if we want to know more than that, we're in luck, since there's a pretty substantial 16-part making-of series partly available on Catsuka's youtube, starting with episode 1 showing the development of the script, with Périn and co-writer Laurent Sarfati bouncing ideas off each other. Only two other episodes are available: episode 11 shows some of the voice recording, and episode 16, which talks about the actual animation, interviewing various animators and showing some shot breakdowns. The last of these is probably the most interesting (to animators), talking about how the film went about realising Périn's 'precise, clinical' realist style.

The team were evidently very conscious of this being, for France, a first of its kind - a French-animated thriller targeting adults, with big ambitions to become a landmark film in French animation, able to stand up against the best anime. I'm not sure it's actually the first - for example, Summit of the Gods is also a tense, French-animated thriller with a realist art style! - but it's definitely a genre where there are very few examples to compare, and the team's ambition comes across as absolutely genuine.

That's probably enough to go on! We'll definitely also check out some of Périn's other work tonight, but Mars Express is our main feature! Starting in about an hour and a half at 8pm UK time, at our usual place, twitch.tv/canmom! Hope to see you there!

[burrowbaddie]

Selfish

Joe Burrow x Female Reader

Series Summary: Childhood friends to lovers to nothing. You and Joe had history, you were each others first and then you were nothing. Years later, you guys rekindle the flame but with more obstacles in the way this time.

Chapter 2 Summary: You and Joe decide it’s time to be selfish.

Word Count: 7.2k

Warnings: Afab!reader, smut, swearing. Oral (female & male receiving), vaginal fingering, penetrative sex, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, cheating! (You are the side girl, sorry.), mild violence (small fight scene).

Series Masterlist

Joe flips through the photos while you pace your kitchen. He places the pictures down with a long sigh.

"Maybe someone is just being funny."

"Joseph, nothing about this is funny. They know where I live. They personally dropped this off."

"What do you want me to do? I hire a bodyguard and-"

"No. That will draw more attention. I don't know. If this gets out-"

"Cheeks, look at me. I won't let anything happen to you. I will find out who did this. They have nothing here."

"They have a photo of us kissing. You're publicly dating everyone's favorite news anchor. If this gets out, I will be the one whose name gets dragged through the mud. Not yours and not Nicole's. You said you would break up with her."

"And I am. Her mother is really sick. I don't want to be an asshole." Joe takes a deep breath realizing how that sounds right now. He pulls you in a hug and kisses your forehead.

"We should stop. This isn't good."

Joe doesn't let you go. He knows it's wrong, and he knows he should end the affair, but Joe doesn't want to lose you again. He won't.

"We will figure it out."

"You should go. I'll call you later. I have to do this thing with my mom and about Thanksgiving. Just forget I asked. My dad will understand."

"Stop. I'll come. Remember how we used to spend Thanksgiving: my family and your family? Game boards and watching our dads argue over a simple game." Joe kisses your lips and grabs his keys, leaving you to your thoughts. Mya comes over a few hours later to cheer you up. You have no one to confide in right now, and you're close to spilling everything to her. She hands you a glass of wine.

"Talk to me. I can see the wheels turning in that big head of yours."

"I'm in love with some I cannot have." You confess.

"Why not? You're a gorgeous independent woman; what idiot wouldn't want you?" Mya laughs, throwing her head back. You stare into the glass of red wine.

"He has a girlfriend."

"Oh. OH!" Mya puts her glass down and turns her complete attention to you. You're about to gush on everything when her phone rings. Mya groans and grabs it, answering a call from her mother. You down your glass and pour another glass while waiting. Mya returns, jumping down on the couch and smiling.

"He's not married, so I don't see the harm. He's the one in the wrong, not you. It's not your relationship, so who cares." She encourages you to make yourself happy and keep seeing the guy. You met Mya during your first year in residency. She was a couple of years older than you, but she reminded you of Quinn. After a few more glasses and a pep talk, you are feeling yourself. Mya heads to the guest room to sleep, and you take the time to send Joe risky photos. In recond time, Joe is facetiming you. You fix your robe and sit on your bed.

"Hello, Joey," You grin, holding the phone up, only showing your face.

"Stop playing with me. Put the phone down."

"What?" You can't hold your laughter when you place the phone on the bed. You hear Joe groan, complaining about you. Standing up, you drop your robe to the ground and pick up the phone. This time letting Joe get the full view.

"Fucking hell, Cheeks. I'm not even home right now." Joe groans, rolling his eyes.

"Where are you?"

"Reviewing plays and watching old footage at Tee's place. Half of me is ready to leave so I can fuck-"

"Yo J, we're going to order late-night take out you in?" Ja'Marr calls. Joe mutes his phone and puts it down. You pout and put your robe back on. Joe returns to the phone, frowning.

"I gotta go. This game Sunday is-"

"I get it. Go ahead." You nod your head and end the call without a goodbye. You decide to drink some water, take some pills, and let sleep do the rest. In the morning, you spend a good chunk of the day in bed trying to catch up on the Netflix show "You." Your phone starts ringing, and you see it's a facetime from Quinn.

"Quinn, what's up."

"I can't get married! Like, think of how hot I am. To be tied down but one extremely hot and wealthy man? He is so lucky!" She shouts. You laugh at your friend and sit up in bed.

"He is fortunate to have you."

"Fran told me you and Joe are on speaking terms. I'm glad to hear that. Have you been okay? Sorry, I'm such a shit friend."

"No. Stop. You're busy, and I understand. I am also busy. I'm doing okay. With everything."

Quinn gives you that look, the look of "I know you are lying." look. You take a deep breath.

"I will uninvite him to my wedding," Quinn states, making you laugh again. She always knows how to cheer you up.

"It's fine. Joe is your friend just as much as he is mine. We're okay. I promise."

"I worry about you. I don't want you to spiral down because of that prick."

"You and I both know Joe isn't a prick."

"Hurting my best friend makes anyone a prick. I could use a more vulgar word if you want."

"I'm fine. I swear. And we don't see each other often, so it's okay."

You stay on the phone with Quinn for another hour before hanging up and deciding to visit your parents. Your mom immediately starts nagging you about settling down and giving her grandkids. You have no plans to have children anytime soon. Leaving your mother, you decide to go downstairs and spend time with your dad before dinner.

"Is Joey boy coming to Thanksgiving dinner?"

"He has a girlfriend. I'm sure he will spend it at her house with her family."

"How did you mess that up? You guys were attached at the hip before."

"Dad. We mutually ended things. I wanted my career, and he wanted his."

"I know. But you were sad for a long time. I was really worried about you. I am proud of you—my beautiful little doctor." He kisses your head just as your mother calls for dinnertime. You stay at your parent's house pretty late. When you get home, Joe is sitting on your steps. You unlock the door, and he follows you in. Your mind tells you to kick him out, but when he touches you, your sense dulls, and you become putty in his hands. Joe places you down on the bed and kisses you softly. He whispers how much he loves you with each kiss, starting from your lips and working his way down your body. You pull Joe back up to kiss him—just a simple kiss. Joe starts down at you with some much love in his eyes. You look away and push him off.

"I'm tired." You whisper, wiping your tears. Joe pulls you close to him, and you both drift to sleep. In the morning, while getting ready for work, Joe sits on the bed, watching you with a grin.

"You look so hot in your doctor uniform."

"Joey, it's 4 am. Cool yourself down, boy."

"I can't!" He pouts, turning on the tv. You sit on his lap and kiss his soft lips. Joe sneaks his hand into your pants, slowly rubbing you through your panties. You look down at him, and he is wearing a big smile. Joe uses his index finger to slip past your panties into your drenched folds. You arch your back and moan as he rubs your clit in circles. Your body damn near shuts down when you hear Nicole's voice coming from the tv. All at once, you pull his hand out and stand up, fixing yourself. You can see the large strain on Joe's sweatpants. Joe stands up, adjusts himself in his pants, and turns off the TV, not before sucking on the finger that was just in your cunt. You shudder and walk away. You go your separate ways, and it's hard making it through a long shift when your mind is stuck on this morning. All you can think about is getting off and going home, calling him over to fuck you into oblivion. But that doesn't happen; in fact you and Joe don't see each other until Thanksgiving, when he shows up with his family and his girlfriend.

"It is so nice to meet you. I feel like I'm meeting a celebrity." Your mother gushes over Nicole as you push food around your plate. Joe won't even look your way. He knows how fucked up this is, but Nicole asked to come with the family at the last min. He couldn't say no.

"Pass the mashed potatoes, sweetie." Your dad shouts down to you. You pick it up and pass it to Joe's mom. Joe kicks you gently under the table. You don't look up. You refuse to look up at Joe.

"Omg, Joey babe! Is that a photo of you? Look how little you were, omg!" She points at the photo of you and Joe during your 8th-grade dance.

"Yeah, it was our dance for 8th grade," Joe confirms.

"You guys went together?"

You don't speak, and neither does Joe. Nicole's smile slowly turns into a straight line as she puts things together.

"Did you guys date?" She finally asks. You don't speak. Joe doesn't talk. Your parents look at Joe's parents.

"Freshmen year of college. But they broke up when he went to LSU." Your mother breaks the awkward silence. Joe coughs as Nicole stares at you.

"The best friend that broke your heart. I thought you meant that in a funny way. But I get it now. Bathroom?" Nicole gets up, and your mother takes her to the bathroom. Joe's mother looks at you and then at Joe.

"You didn't tell her you used to date? Joe, that was a bomb. She looked totally caught off guard."

"I'll go talk to her. I didn't think it was important." Joe says, standing up to chase after his girl. You start biting on your lip, trying not to let his words get to you. You're not important; those were his words.

"I have to take this call." You say barely above a whisper. You go to your bedroom and answer the call. Thank the heavens you are on an on-call shift because you are needed at the hospital right now. You say goodbye to everyone except Joe and Nicole. Joe excuses himself from the family game to follow you to your car.

"Hey-"

"Not important." You swing your door open, waiting to hear what he has to say.

"Cheeks, you and I both know I didn't mean it like that."

"Right. Not telling your current girlfriend anything about your ex makes perfect sense. Especially since you're still fucking that said ex." You get in the car, ready to slam the door, but Joe grabs it.

"Stop."

"Everything okay?" Nicole asks, standing on the steps of your parent's house. You look up at Joe, asking him to let go of the door. Joe nods his head and closes your door. You pull out of the driveway, leaving them behind. Nicole crosses her arms, waiting for Joe to speak.

"Let's get home. I'm tired and want to look over some footage." He takes her hand, leading her back inside.

You and Joe avoid each other for the next few weeks, but that stops when you both attend Quinn's New Year's Eve wedding. You smooth out your emerald green satin bridesmaid dress and take a deep breath. The long slit going down the left leg gives little to imagine. Quinn is insane for designing this dress for a wedding. You take a look at the cleavage and shake your head. Insane.

"Quinn, this dress is way too revealing for a wedding. Like my tits are almost popping out."

"That is why it is an adult-only wedding. I wanted my bridesmaids to show some leg show some tits! Be free! Look at my wedding dress! The girls are popping out as well."

You just shake your head and laugh. The door opens to Francis, Quinn's twin brother, and two other bridesmaids.

"Don't you look absolutely stunning?" He pulls you into a hug.

"I told you, you looked amazing. Ladies! The countdown begins." Quinn claps, getting everyone's attention. Your nerves are running a bit crazy because you know Joe will also be here, even though Quinn said she would uninvite him because of you.

"Alright, we have to get going. See you down the aisle." Francis pulls you and the others out of the room. You stand lined up, ready to start the ceremony. The doors open, and it begins. The ceremony is 30 mins long, followed by the reception. You did your best not to make eye contact with Joe during the ceremony, but he now sits directly across from your table during the reception. The best man stands up and makes his speech, and you know you are up next as the maid of honor. You down your drink to give yourself some liquid courage and stand up. Everyone's eyes are now on you, but the only pair that matter are the baby blue eyes piercing your heart.

"I have had the pleasure of knowing Francheska, aka Quinn, for 14 years. We have been through Hell and back. Quinn is the sister I have always wanted. She is always in my corner just as much as I am in hers. Watching her grow into this amazing woman has been my pleasure. Thank you for allowing me to be on this journey with you. Nico, thank you for loving her unconditionally. When you asked me to help you find a ring, I could barely contain my excitement. But I knew she deserved you just like you deserved her. I want to wish both of you happiness and love always. To Quinn and Nico." You raise another glass and toast. Quinn wipes her tears and stands up to hug you.

"That's my best friend. It's so funny because me and Francis always thought it would be her and Joe getting married first. I beat you guys!" Quinn shouts. Joe claps and laughs, and you shy away from the attention. Throughout the night, you are happy people keep Joe busy with conversations. That is until Fran pulls you, Joe, and Quinn, into a private room.

"Sorry, Nicki girl, this is a friend zone. Just the four of us." Quinn says, closing the door on Nicole. You sit on the couch away from Joe, who is leaning against the door. Fran starts pouring shots.

"To us! 14 years later and still hanging strong! One down, three to go! Fran hands out the shots. You clink glasses and throw them back.

"I know Joey can not get plastered, but let's take a few and enjoy this night for me!" Quinn shouts. After three more shots, the guys leave. Quinn grabs your hand as the door closes.

"What's wrong? Are you going to be sick? Last night at the bachelorette party, you seemed spaced out talking to me."

"I've been sleeping with Joe for the last few months. Last month we had a small fight and haven't done anything since. We haven't even talked, but seeing him here again. I feel dizzy."

"I knew it! Fran owes me $20. You know Joe was acting super weird too, but Fran didn't know what was up. This is too good!"

"Quinn, what do I do? He has a girlfriend. He's moved on. It's not fair for me to keep seeing him." You pour another shot, trying to drink yourself into a reason. Quinn hugs you again.

"Talk to him. I'll be back." She leaves, and you sit on the couch; as time passes, you start pacing. When the anxiety is no longer bearable, you grab the bottle and return to the party. Nicole is pinned to Joe's side. There is no way you can grab him to talk, so you force yourself to have fun and forget him. This is your best friend's big day, after all. After many rounds of dancing and drinking, you take a break to use the bathroom. As you're about to close the door, a hand stops it. You stumble back and look up at the man you've been avoiding all night. Joe closes the door locking it behind him. He looks at you up and down, biting his lip. Without another word or second, Joe is scooping you up and kissing you heavily. He sets you on the vanity. Your hands are fumbling with his belt as he kisses on your neck.

"You look so fucking amazing tonight. Do you know how hard it was for me to hold myself back all night?" He whispers against your neck. You successfully get his belt loosened and pants down. Joe easily rips your underwear off and stuffs it into his pocket. You spread your legs allowing Joe to finger fuck you on the sink. Your head hits the mirror as you throw it back, moaning in his ear.

"Please." You beg. You knew both of you didn't have any time to waste. Joe pulls down his briefs, and your mouth practically waters, watching his cock spring out, hitting his stomach. Joe gives your pussy a few taps with the tip, running it up and down your slits to get natural lubricant. When he slides in you, try everything to suppress your moans.

"Don't do that. It's fine. No one can hear us. I want to hear those pretty noises you make for me, Cheeks." He groans in your ear. Your walls break, and you're giving Joe exactly want he wants. You a complete mess, moaning and crying out his name. His thrusts speed up as he battles his wall. You're cumming, unable to hold back anymore.

"Don't stop," You cry out, holding on to Joe for dear life. Joe had no plans to stop. His head was buried in your neck as he continued to give you deep and long strokes fucking you through your orgasm. And when it's Joe's turn to cum, he doesn't bother pulling out, emptying every last drop into you. Sweaty, breathing, heavy, and in pure bliss, you start a clumsy messy make-out session.

"I missed you so much." Joe pulls away and cups your face. You look up at him softly, nodding your head. Joe kisses you again on the lips, then your forehead.

"Hey! I need to pee!" A guest bangs on the door. Joe helps you down and regain your balance. Both of you quickly freshen up and leave the bathroom. Joe follows you into the room from earlier. He sits you on his lap and begins rubbing your leg.

"I'm going to break things off with Nicole. I know I keep saying it, but I am this time. I just want to know where that will leave us." Joe looks up at you with puppy eyes. You kiss his lips.

"Joey, I've never stopped loving you. I want to be with you again."

"I'll work things out. Can I see you when we get back home?"

"Of course." You smile into the kiss. Joe lays you down on the couch and begins feeling your body up and down. He's holding back this time because if he doesn't, Joe will take you again right here on the couch, not caring that he left his girlfriend alone. It's you that breaks away from temptation first. You return to Quinn's side, who gives you a sly smile. You made it just in time for the NYE countdown. As the clock ticks down to one, you turn to see Joe and Nicole share a kiss. Your heart sinks a bit, but you know what Joe said. After tonight he would end things. But, of course, fate has other plans.

When you arrive back home, you're tossed into a hectic work schedule. You hear from Fran that Nicole's mother passed away. Joe doesn't leave his fragile girlfriend; he continues to have both of you. You should know better. You should stop this relationship. But you can't. You can't help but fall into his arms. Joe can't help but to call and look for you whenever he needs you. You two become comfortable again.

Joe kisses your back and rolls over. He's going to the Superbowl, and as soon as he arrives home, he drives straight to your place to celebrate. Last night, Joe practically fucked you everywhere in the house. You run over, smiling at him, and kiss his lips.

"How are you feeling, champ?" You ask, playing in his hair. Joe pulls you on top of him, and you feel his erection.

"I am on top of the world right now. I'm going to the Superbowl. I got to wake up to this beautiful woman. I'm about to fuck her again and-"

You place a pillow over his face giggling. Joe is insane if he thinks your body is ready for another session. He tosses the pillow and flips you over. Joe pushes your legs against your chest, putting you in a mating press. Before he can begin his morning routine, his phone rings. Your mood falters because of the ringtone. Joe lets you go and reaches over to the nightstand for his phone.

"Where are you? The guys are already home."

"I had to stay at my parents' place. My dad wanted to celebrate. I didn't want to bother you because I know you had an early shoot." Joe sits on the bed, watching you limp to the bathroom. Joe relentlessly fucked you all night, and your legs still felt like jello. Your body is covered in his kisses, and his covered in scratches and your kisses. He follows you into the bathroom, putting the phone on speaker as you brush your teeth. Joe starts playing with your pussy making you squirm at the sink. He smiles and winks at you through the mirror.

"Really? I'm at your parent's house now." Nicole crosses her arms staring at Joe's mother. Joe takes it off speaker and leaves the bathroom. You turn the shower on and climb in, letting Joe deal with his problem. A few mins later, he joins you after brushing his teeth.

"Who did you lie about being with this time?" You ask, grabbing your blue loofah.

"I told her I was with Marr, which isn't a complete lie. I'm going there after this." Joe turns you around and lifts you.

"All night into the morning and again? I don't think I can handle you," You whisper against his lips. Joe was ready to slide in again, but this time interrupted by your phone. It was the hospital. He put you down and quickly let you finish your shower. You rush to your phone and return the call. After getting dressed, you kiss him goodbye and tell him to lock up. Joe follows your instructions, and after feeding Peaches, he leaves your house, going straight to Ja'Marr's house.

"Really? You were at my house? My girl called me bitching me out about covering for you." Ja'Marr rolls his eyes and follows Joe to the game room, where other teammates lounge around.

"Messy, man. You know our girlfriends are in a group chat together, right?" Von says, shaking his head.

"So, who is she? I've heard of having mistresses in other states, hell, even other cities, but having your side right here in the same city as your wifey. It's insane, my man," DJ Reader laughs, sitting on a recliner. Joe picks up a pool stick, ignoring them.

"She is his childhood friend slash ex-girlfriend. She's fine as fuck. Look at her Instragram." Ja'Marr passes his phone around, letting the guys check you out. Joe snatches it away.

"How do you have her Instagram? It's private."

"I followed her on my backup account. Relax. Me and Cheeks are kinda best friends right now." Ja'Marr takes his phone and sits down with a wide grin.

"So, are you going to end things with Nicole? I need to know the game plan since she's best friends with my girlfriend." Sam speaks up, this time earning a nod from the other guys. Joe scratches his head.

"I plan to break up with her."

"But?" Sam sits up, waiting for the next part.

"Every time I'm ready to end things with Nicole, something comes up. Her mother dying. Right now, she is still on bereavement from work, so I haven't found the right time to end it. But I will, and it won't blow back on you, Sam." Joe takes a seat looking at a text from Nicole.

"Listen, we all need to get our heads in the game. Stop thinking about women and side dishes-"

"Stop calling her my side dish or mistress."

"I mean, that's what she is—realistically speaking," DJ speaks again, earning some head nods.

"We're going to the Superbowl! Fuck everything else!" Ja'marr claps, bringing the group back to the main focus. Joe doesn't say anything else for the rest of the gathering. He is pissed off and doesn't want to cause friction, but at the same time, having anyone disrespect you doesn't sit right with him. So, Joe lets it stew all week, and it's not his fault, either. DJ keeps taking shots at him as well. Joe left his phone at your house and called you from Ja'Marr's phone. You arrive at the facility and sit on the sidelines, waiting for training to be over. During a break, Joe leads you to the locker room.

"Joey, not here. And you're all sweaty and gross." You yelp as he wipes his sweaty head on you.

"You can be sweaty and gross too." Joe kisses on your neck. You give him a shove.

"Behave. Here's your phone. Call me later?"

"Of course." Joe smiles and slaps you on the ass as you walk away. After practice, he is eager to visit you.

"Off to see that side piece of yours?" DJ laughs, throwing a towel at Joe. Joe takes a deep breath.

"Watch your mouth." Joe tosses the towel back. DJ stands up and gets in his face.

"Or what, pretty boy."

"Uh, Oh!" A teammate shouts, egging the situation on.

"Why don't we focus on the game? Why I do off the field doesn't have shit to do with you." Joe doesn't back down. His jaw clenches as he stares DJ down with the same firey expression.

"Cool." DJ turns around mid-way and stops.

"But once you're done with your side bitch, why don't you send her my way for a few rounds." DJ laughs. Joe snaps and throws the first punch. DJ quickly recovers and tackles Joe to the ground delivering a few punches. Ja'Marr and Sam jump in, separating the fight before it gets out of hand.

"What the fuck is going on? Get up now!" The coach yells while Ja'Marr holds Joe back and Sam holds DJ.

"I don't know what the fuck has gotten into the two of you, but it's showing on my fucking field! I don't care what goes on in your personal lives, but when you're here in my uniform, you act accordingly. Knock it off."

You swing your door open, surprised to see Joe standing there with a black eye and busted lip.

"Jesus! Are you okay? Is this from practice?" You ask, pulling him inside. You take him to the kitchen and give him an ice pack.

"Yeah. It's from practice. Dinner?"

"I ordered out. I didn't know you would be coming over, so-"

"It's fine. I won't stay long. I just needed to see you." Joe wraps his arms around you, surprising you. You hug him back, unsure of what to say.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. You know I love you, right? No matter what anyone says. I love you with my entire being."

"Yes. Where is this coming from? What's going on?"

"Nothing. I just needed to know that you knew that. Will you be at the Superbowl?"

"I couldn't get off. I'm sorry. But I promise to watch it."

Joe kisses your forehead and says his goodbyes. Nicole is waiting for Joe in the bedroom when he arrives home. She immediately touches his face. Joe explains practice got a little rough. After eating dinner, they sit on the couch watching tv. Joe's mind slips back to you. He wonders how different life would be if he had stayed in Ohio.

"I'm so proud of you. I know how stressed you've been about the Superbowl. No matter what happens, you will still be you, Joe." Nicole kisses his lips and climbs onto his lap.

A few days later, they attended the Superbowl luncheon. Joe and Ja'Marr take some photos and greet others. Nicole sits with the other girlfriends, gossiping.

"No, because if you think about it, he doesn't call you at all when he's in Buffalo. Girl, he's cheating." Amber, Sam's girlfriend, says, shaking her head. Nicole continues to scroll through texts, not really listening to the conversation.

"Look at the wives. Sitting separately from us like they're so high and mighty. They can get cheated on just as easily as us. They probably get cheated on more." Jessica, Tee's girlfriend, speaks up this time. Nicole puts her phone down with a chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Jess asks.

"I don't have to worry about any of that nonsense."

"Oh, right, because not all guys can be like your sweet Joe." Jess rolls her eyes. Eliza, Ja'Marr's girlfriend, downs her drink and giggles. Ja'Marr has told her on multiple occasions how Joe is fucking someone else. In fact, She has covered for Joe a few times, including last week.

"Do you think Joe is going to pop the big question soon? I mean, imagine he wins his ring and then asks you!" Sam squeals, thinking about the idea. Nicole blushes and fixes her hair.

"I don't know. We'll see what happens tomorrow."

Joe makes his way through the crowd greeting people. At one point, he sees DJ pull Nicole from the group to talk. A reporter is asking him questions, so he cannot leave immediately.

"Excuse me for a second," Joe finally gets a chance to catch up to them. Nicole turns, smiling at him.

"Everything okay?" She asks, fixing his shirt.

"Yeah. What are you guys talking about?"

"Just about the excitement for the game. DJ was also asking me to hook him up with a friend. All my friends are taken but your friend from college. She is single, right? A doctor too. I've only met her twice, but I think maybe you two could hit it off."

Joe stares at DJ, clenching his jaw.

"She is single. But I don't think she's into footballers," Joe laughs it off.

"Well, we won't know that until you give me a chance," DJ says, patting Joe's back extra hard.

"How about we set up a double date? Joe will let you know the details." Nicole walks off to find Amber. Joe smiles until she is out of earshot. He shoves DJ in his chest hard.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

"Hey, I asked for her to hook me up with a friend. Not my fault she brought up Cheeks." DJ winks and walks off. Joe runs his hand through his hair and looks for Ja'Marr.

"You look like you're about to kill someone," Ja'Marr jokingly says, handing him a drink. Joe declines the drink and runs his hands over his face.

"Fucking DJ talked to Nicole. Now they want to do a double date with Cheeks."

"He's such an ass. Don't let him get to you, though. Right now, he is our teammate. We need to focus on tomorrow and get this win."

Joe knows he's right. So, as much as it kills him, he sucks it up. The next day his head is on straight, and his mind only thinks about one thing. Winning. But right before taking the field, you facetime him.

"I just wanted to say good luck. And show you that I'm watching! See!" You point to the TV showing highlights of the conference game. Joe smiles, wishing you were here with him.

"I love you. Thank you, baby." Joe blows you a kiss. You hang up after saying I love you back. Leaning in your chair, your turn to your computer to enter some reports. Unfortunately, the Bengals lose to the Rams. You don't hear much from Joe for the next few days. You knew he must be taking the loss really hard, so you gave him space. Your parents invite you for dinner at the Burrow's place, and you accept, hoping to see Joe. Joe is there with his girlfriend. Of course, he is; what did you think would happen?

"Cheeks, Am I allowed to call you cheeks, or is that a Joe and you thing?" Nicole asks. You shake your head, allowing her to continue.

"You're single, right?" She asks, causing your mother and Robin to peek over at the two of you at the counter.

"I, umm, am."

"Great! How about a double date? Me and Joe and our good friend. He's a great guy and asked me to hook him up with a friend. Since you and Joe are so close, I figured it would be okay."

"Sure. That's okay. Who is it?"

"DJ from the team."

"Oh wow. I guess that would be fine. Excuse me; I have to take this call." You pull your phone out, walking away—a double date. There is no way you can handle that. Joe spots you in the hallway. He rubs your arm.

"You look like you've seen a ghost. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm more worried about you." You reach up to rub his face, and Joe leans into your touch. You start to play with his ears.

"I feel like a failure."

"Joey, it's one game."

"The most important game."

"You're not a failure. Nothing close to that. You lost. It happens. yOu have to pick yourself up and go harder next season. I know you can do it."

Joe tries to kiss you, but you block it with your hand.

"Our parents are here, and so is your girlfriend, who asked me to join on a double date."

"What? She what? With fucking DJ. This fucking guy. I swear I'm going to beat the shit out of him."

"Why? What's going on?"

Joe shakes his head and walks away. Dinner was less awkward than Thanksgiving but still uncomfortable. You thank them for dinner and head home. When you arrive home, your door is cracked open. Your place is completely trashed. You call out for Peaches, who comes running towards you. You find photos of you and Joe scattered all over your kitchen. Your face is scratched out with the word "Whore" written on it. You put the cat down and try to calm your nerves. With shaking hands, you dial Joe but quickly hang up when Nicole answers. You're scared to call the police but too scared to stay there. You pack Peaches up and go to a hotel for the night.

"Hey?" Mya touches your shoulder, scaring you.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you come up. I will be in the Emergency Department all day if anyone needs me." You grab a clipboard and start working.

"You're jumpy today. Didn't get enough sleep?"

"I've been staying at a hotel for the last few days, so no."

"What? Why?"

"Someone broke into my house."

"Omg! Are you okay? Did they take anything?" Mya asks, following you. You pull her into a storage room.

"I've been sleeping with Joe. They have photos of us together. Intimately. It was all over my apartment floor when I came home."

"Joe?"

"Burrow." You whisper. Her eyes widen.

"I knew it! I knew you were seeing someone from the Bengals! Fuck he's so hot. But omg Nicole. Nooooo, not my Nicole!" she pouts.

"Someone has been following us, and I need to tell Joe, but-"

"Listen, if you need to stay with me, my home is open to you. Fuck I can't believe you're sleeping with Joe fucking Burrow!"

"Shh!"

"Sorry. It's going to be okay. Don't let it get to you. Whoever this person is obviously has no plans; otherwise, you would be on TMZ right now." Mya reassures you. But as days go by, you become more paranoid. It doesn't help that you receive a letter from this secret person telling you to keep everything to yourself. So, you do for Joe's sake. No one likes a cheater. He could lose a lot more than you. So, when the night of the double date comes up, you do your best not to look at him.

"You're gorgeous. I can't believe someone hasn't wifed you up." DJ smiles, making you giggle.

"Work keeps me too busy to date." You reply.

Joe sits back in his chair, staring at the both of you. It feels like he is burning holes in your faces. Nicole leans her head on his shoulder, returning him to the conversation.

"I'll get the check." Joe stands up, leaving the three of you to talk. You exchange numbers with DJ and end the night on a good note. He offers to take you out again. Joe is once again burning holes in the side of your face. DJ walks you to your car as Nicole pulls Joe towards his car. Dj kisses your hand and bids you goodnight. You drive to Mya's place and park in the driveway, reading Joe's text. Before you can respond, he calls you.

"Joe-"

"Did he go home with you?"

"What?"

"I'm on my way over now. So, if he's there, he needs to get the fuck out. Right now. I'm not even joking."

"Joe. I'm not home."

"Did you go to his place?"

"I have the right to see who I want to see, Joe. You're not my father, and I'm a grown adult."

The line is silent, but you know he's still there because he's breathing hard.

"I need to see you, so just tell me where you are." Joe pleads. He sounds broken and hurt. You give him Mya's address. She's working a double, so you should be safe right now. And when Joe arrives, he quietly follows you into the guest room, scooping you up and kissing you softly.

"Go away with me for a few weeks."

"Joe-"

He pulls you out of your dress quickly. Joe's eyes scan over your body. You become shy under his gaze.

"I need you. I only need you. Let's getaway. How much vacation time do you have saved up?"

"A lot. But I need a more extended notice." You sit up on the bed, unbuckling his pants. Joe comes out of his pants and boxers. You take him into your hand and slowly stroke his dick. Joe watches you intensely as you kiss the tip swirling your tongue around.

"Fuck." Joe groans once you start deep-throating him. He throws his head back and bucks his hips. You pull his cock out with a pop and lick from the base to the tip again. Joe shakes his head.

"I want to cum inside of you." He pushes you back and tosses your underwear. Joe is quick and is between your legs, devouring your cunt. You wiggle and squirm as he holds your hips down. Joe sits up, pushing your legs to your chest, putting you in a mating press as he slides in easily. Both of you moan at the new sensation.

"I love you. I swear you're the only thing that matters to me in this world. You're mine." Joe whispers against your lips. You're so fucked out of your mind that you can't respond. Your mouth hangs open.

"Too deep." You cry out. Joe was hitting your spot, sending your mind into a dizzy spell. Joe releases your legs and holds them up in the air by your ankles. He watches his cock slide in and out of you while you cum. Your body jerks up when he starts snapping his hips faster, overstimulating your sensitive body. Joe lets go of your legs and spreads them wide to get a better view of everything. He reaches down to rub your clit, and you moan incoherently.

"Wait! Joey! Wait! I can't!" You cry out as he pulls out, and you squirt on his abdomen. Your body shakes, and Joe leans down, coaxing you through your high. He whispers how pretty you look right now.

"I don't want you to be with anyone else—only me. I want to be selfish with you. I want to be the only one making you cry like this. I want this pussy to be filled with only me. Can you let me be selfish just this once?" He begs. You nod your head, feeling him rub your thighs. Joe turns you over and enters you again. You find the strength to get on your hands and knees. Joe digs his fingers into your hips, watching your ass collide with his pelvis. Skin slapping skin, moans, and grunts fill the room with every thrust. Joe presses you down on your back, causing you to give him a more profound arch.

"Such a good girl." Joe bends down to kiss your spine. You start whimpering as he returns to his position and continues pounding away. Your knees and arms give out, and you collapse onto the bed, letting Joe have his way until he came. Joe pulls out and flips you over, spreading your legs to get a look at his cum leaking out of you. You shiver and whine when he pushes it back in.

"I want to get you pregnant. I'm not even joking. Can you imagine how beautiful you will look carrying my baby?"

You cover your smile at his words. Joe leans over to kiss you.

"I love you so much, Joe. If you give me a few weeks, I will take that vacation with you, but there's something I need to tell you."

"Is everything okay?"

"Someone broke into my place. They had photos of us again and-"

"Are you okay? Why didn't you call me?"

"The person threatened me, which is why I don't want you to take any actions. I can handle it myself."

"They've been in your house. You're not safe there. You have to move. I'll find you a place close to my house for now and stay with your parents. I'll hire security and-"

"Joseph, I said I can handle things. If you get involved, it will only make things worse. Until you end things with her, we can't. No one can find out about us." You cup his face forcing him to look directly into your eyes. Joe mumbles a yes and buries his face in your neck. And three weeks later, you find yourself in the Maldives with Joe.

A/N: Omg, I can't believe so many people like this fic! The title is called Second Strings, and it is a series. I linked the master list up top. If you want to join the taglist I have linked it here as well! But there is a limited amount of people I can tag. Thank you for all the love messages comments and reblogs! It motivates me so much. I know this was such a long chapter, but I had some time! Things will get more interesting as we continue!

Tags: @joselyn001@savii999@lostaurorax@simpgirl-lat@edenhess@blinkloverx3 @dboanalooaa

[thumperdaetime]

A Gentle Reminder:

if you feel like you're spinning your wheels, and stuck doom scrolling this week -due to the current political landscape. I highly recommend logging off for a bit and seeing if you have the stomach to call a loved one who has political veiws that clash with your own.

social media and news coverage is fantastic for getting info out to people who want to listen, but it is an ineffective tool for actually communicating with people you disagree with.

I'm not a people-scientist but every time i see "yelling at each other online doesn't actually help" and have the energy to look into What does actually help, experts always say that it's empathetic, long term relationships between people that disagree.

so if you have a bunch of nervous political energy and no clearly helpful place to put it right now:

go call your grandmother. talk about the weather, and the way you miss her cooking. give her a real living person to picture The next time a newscaster talks about the radical-left-mob. if you talk to her regularly consider asking what she thinks about the recent political thing. you're not there to debate or prove her wrong or even change her mind. just listen to someone you love confess their fears, and then share your own fears. you are probably actually on the same side when you get down to it. you both want a safe place to live and the people you love to be happy, (most people do) its just you dont agree about how to go about that.

text your little cousin a random meme, when they send back a thing about how voting is a scam, let it go. share a vine to find out if they know the deep lore. make plans to meet up and play whatever video game they're obsessed with right now. and if the vibe is right and its not going to become an argument, try talking a bit about why the whole not voting movement scares you. don't talk down to them, talk like your two friends who respect each other's opinion (Thats The whole goal actually) ask them why they think its a good strategy, collaborate on other activist things you can do together. included them in your politics instead of dismissing their points.

and its not easy, as wild as it is to think about having a deep but pleasant conversation with your worst Uncle. the fact remains that Your Problematic & Uncle is much more likely to speak up for gay rights. if you can get to a place where you enjoy each others company, and you feel safe talking to him about your struggles as a queer person. and to be fair, you are more likely to take into account the effects of a gun ban on the local wildlife balance, if you sit through your Problematic Uncle complaining about how local restrictions made deer season hard to do last year, and now the tic population is up and the food banks are empty.

divide and conquer is a long standing tactical strategy. and we have seen that fascist in particular like to divide people into a hierarchy of ""real people""" and an ""inhuman enemy"" . when we let their rhetoric turn our peers and neighbors into an inhuman enemy, we can loose sight of what we should actually be fighting for and against.

and if you spend all your time yelling at Doug Nobody who was taking an angry shit when you were typing out that essay, you take energy away from the real fight (the systems and actual active oppressors). the best way to stop that tactic is by standing together with people outside of the box you've been assigned (as much as ethically possible). and refusing to let the system make you perpetuate usless infighting.

When we let the political fandom (yes i mean the media made around politics and not actual political action) act as a wedge between us and people who could have been in our lives, we end up with weaker support groups and less per review for political ideas. it is easy to believe Q-anon if the only people you talk to believe in Q-anon. the same way it is easy to believe that Taylor Swift is a lesbian if everyone you talk to believes Taylor Swift is a lesbian. sometimes we need a person to stop and say "wait, can you run that idea by me again? it doesn't fit my perception of reality"

and Yes. it is probably unlikely at this point to convince someone who has voted one way their whole life to change their political views before November. but that doesn't mean we dont reach-out ever. there will still be politics in September and October, you will still need a diverse support group, and people you trust to bounce political ideas off of. and if you are as worried as i am about this upcoming election, it is very possible that having a community of people who are okay with working together despite political differences will be very helpful in the coming years. (and holding a meaningful, satisfying conversation with someone you disagree with on a fundamental issue is a huge skill to have if you want to take part in alot of activism, community building, or family gatherings)

a quick list of things Op is NOT Saying in this post:

it is your duty and responsibility to do this thing and you're a bad person for not doing it.

this is really easy and everyone should be able (and willing) to take on the emotional energy needed to do this for everyone they know who doesn't agree with them.

watching news or being on social media doesn't help anything.

this is the best way to help and there are no other things you should be doing with your time/energy.

the conversations will be pleasant and/or will always have a positive outcome.

any beliefs i listed together are some how morally equivalent.

you should compromise your beliefs for the sake of getting along with others.

the best answer is most likely centrist because both sides are extremists.

voting this one time will fix all of the things and you're evil if you are conflicted about it.

voting is the best way for a single individual to enact change in their country.

i love the president, and the candidates, and the voting system, and the two parties, and the electoral college, and the bombs, and the genocide and all the death and corruption and violence its all holding up and being held up by.

we should listen to "both sides" to get a fair and balanced picture of the issue

we should let nazis, and bigots, and fascist talk openly about their ideas openly as if its not hate speech calling for violence against marginalized people.

you Have to go reconnect with your abusers and toxic relationships from your past in the hopes you can convince them to vote correctly.

the current political thing that made me make this post is The Most Important Thing!!! that has ever happened in the whole world over all of written history, and we should all be talking about it for forever, otherwise you're helping the inhuman enemy!!!

things are already fucked so theirs no point in trying to get enough votes.

things will be fine and ok if nothing changes and we just keep on this projected path forward.

i know so much and am so smart and I've solved political discourse and if only everyone listened to me we would have world peace already.

Taylor Swift is a wlw

things I am saying. now. here. at the end of the post:

be kind. go look at the sky. i love you <3

[alexissara]

The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood - A Deck Of Brilliant Cards [Review]

The Cosmic Wheel Keeps On Spinning and it shows us a game of politics, sisterhood and ideas. In this game you draw cards and gaze into the future and past to craft a brighter path forward for yourself, your sisterhood, and maybe all of existence. However, there is more pressing matters, Fortuna has been exiled for 200 years and she has 800 years more to go and she can't take it anymore so she does a forbidden spell and calls fourth a Behemoth to help set her free. Get revenge, hug some friends and get to reading the cards.

This game is presented in a visual delight with some of the best sprite work I've ever seen, it is truly a beauty to behold. That beauty stays with it's writing as well, the content warnings it has are no joke and the content is unavoidable so please do read them for your own safety but I do think they are handled well, their brief, they give you an idea of the character and they add to the story in a way I think they were needed.

The gameplay is fairly simple you read people's fortunes picking from a limited set of choices based on what card you drew for what questions, you make cards, and in the last parts of the game you are doing a political worker placement game where you try to win an election. All these elements are simple and basic enough that they would work for a mobile game. It's extremally fun and easy to play.

The world itself is delightful, it's the kind of thing you play and you wish is real, that you could ascend and become a space witch with your loved ones and live eternally. It gives the world real problems, flawed systems and let you shape your own opinions about it. You may not be able to fix all the problems with society and there are times where the game even outside of card readings will present you with having to choose something you might not agree with but the game lets you engage with it's world in big ways and make big decisions.

This game is pretty queer and engaged in queer reality, your character is from the 1960s and she's some flavor of queer, what that flavor is is up to you as far as I can tell, she reads to me as like Demisexual and a Lesbian but I think there is plenty of cases to be made for other sexualities. If you choose Romance as the option you want to size then you will get with a woman, the game only has women in it outside of the demon you summon all other men are off screen, mentioned to exist sometimes positively, something neutrally, sometimes negatively. The games queerness adds to the theme of Sisterhood both being queer in the relationships the women are looking for while having some women express desire in men that exist off screen. It also is queer in that you help a trans woman transition into her true self. She is definitively a woman and you will be helping her out and you can potentially have her at your side for the political campaign. The broader sense of sisterhood here and the different things relationships to womanhood and other women can mean are really strong here.

Politically this game ranges from like American Democrat to arguably anarchist positions. When setting up your policies and seeing the policies of others you'll get a range of politics to choose from but ultimately you do only have 4 choices in most sections for policy. That said policy isn't all there is to the politics of the world itself. The world is fairly nice as it is, far better than earth as it stands so the base line is good and the previously mentioned queerness is never a conflict. They live in an all women sisterhood and while people travel and there are men in other places, obviously queerness is the most common thing for witches. In fact even polyamory is totally normalized in this world and while you can't be polyamorous romance is not a focus and you stating desire in someone else does not in any negative way impact your romantic relationship that you can get into with a hot butch lesbian. Then the politics have one last layer which is the cards, what you choose from the cards readings can also show a range of politics, beliefs and more from you. Choosing the choice you think is best for you, for them or the world. These can all paint a political picture outside of the range of your political campaign although your choices are also more RNG dependent and also tied to your cards. Plus there was a non RNG point where I did have to make an argument I really did not want to make and it really did annoy me especially in retrospect when It didn't factor into the game at all. However, that was the only moment in the whole game I felt like that when it wasn't based on RNG from the cards.

Now, I did not like the ending I got the first time I played this game through, some people will find that a somber ending, not getting what you wanted or paying the price you promised will be fitting but not I. So I played the game again, I speed ran through the game knowing the future now, in a way it felt very thematic, to know all the players, all the twists, all the turns and to use that to craft myself a perfect ending for everyone, a true happy utopia no matter what it too and I did it. A very small percent of people have managed to craft a truly happy ending but I am among them! I do think if I did not have the time of will to basically just rush through the game a second time I might have walked away with a worse impression of the game having disliked my ending and knowing I wouldn't have liked the other somber options either. However, it was really satisfying to make my ending even if it required a few additional hours of gameplay in which some of it I was more on auto pilot. The game is not super long and if you do the second run right after the first you won't need to reread a lot of what is going on only the choices you make differently.

Overall, this game is really a delight and something special, I think anyone who wouldn't struggle with the themes in the content warnings will really gain something from this game and for me it was a 10 hour little adventure on my first run, with a lot of that being taking time to think between choices because every choice felt like it mattered even if I knew the choice maybe wouldn't ever come up in game the people felt so real I wanted the best possible futures for them. This game is really special and has such fantast design and visuals that it is probably worth buying just to stare at and then actually playing it is another even better experience. Check out this game!

[iam-back]

A Review of Vinny's Quality DOS Games 1

We begin the stream with a little game called...

[KOR] Duck | Also known as Bulsaejo Duck by D.Swizzy's little folder, this one is a Galaga-esque. It seems right up Vinny's alley, being about a duck and all. And when I say Galaga, I do mean Galaga. Look at the way the enemies swirl around! And look at the enemies themselves! You got little ships, little wheels, big blue-and-red worms with yellow heads, individual segments of said worms, big bees...

The duck himself seems to be a robot, given how he explodes into screws when he dies. Says to me that the story is about this robot duck who flies above Busan or Seoul or that culture village and blasts down whatever may come in his way. If you don't shoot for a bit, a shield forms around you, which you can turn into a big energy-blast by resuming fire. You also have 7 backup ducks, which Vinny, not being the best gamer in the world, loses all of them.

[CHN] Act of Fighter | Tragically misnamed Action Fighter (no Vinny, this is not that Spy Hunter copycat game for Master System), Vinny can't get past the copyright protection. In a Trio of Trash stream much later on (that includes the hidden gem Toonstruck), we finally see what it looks like - and it seems to be a fantasy-themed Tetris-esque game. Moving on to...

[KOR] Zis: The Adventure | "Ablex~" This is the game studio which brought you Little Witch and Hades, and now this! I mean Zis! Meet Zis, the lovable little rascal whom nobody knows about, otherwise they'd call him a Korean Dennis the Menace. Apparently it gives Vinny the dèja vú. The first thing he sees is the copyright protection - or "Password Check" as the game calls it. You're thrust into a little playground where you must shoot these enemies in this order (p9n4, p3n2, p4n2) - or since D.Swizzy did a little wizardry, Vinny just shoots whichever enemies in whatever order, and he's off!

Zis never shuts up - when he stands still he goes "la la la la", when he accomplishes certain things he giggles, when he collects the little diamonds he says "mmm", when he climbs up onto the things he yells "YABBO" at the top of his lungs. Apparently the gameplay tune sounds alarmingly like the Donkey Kong Country theme, at least to Vinny. But I'm more concerned with the title screen reminding me of Mega Man X!

We're thrust into a cutscene of Zis relaxing by the river, when he should come across a map in a bottle that will take him all across Lisnia in order to find... something. I'm not fluent in Korean. The first level is apparently called "Slowly Forest", and it's there that Vinny starts to ramble about how DOS platformers are never good (apparently ignoring Commander Keen), aside from The Great Giana Sisters, which is a slapdash bootleg Super Mario Bros to everyone else!

His eye's a bumhole, his finger's a chode, and his weapon of choice is a slingshot, which becomes a yoyo when he finds a watermelon and wears his bunny suit. By the way, there's an owl who shoots an arrow at your health meter, which I'm just now realizing might work like the Gloom in Tears of the Kingdom, unless I got to actually play it for myself and see otherwise. Unfortunately, after that Vinny can't figure out how to yoyo up (if one can), and so he leaves the game on Zis singing what sounds disturbingly like the Thomas the Tank Engine theme!

[CHN] Battle Europe | After a bit of Wiseau and an oopsie-crashie, we see that this is a game about tanks and stuff - you can play as Allies or Axis. This one plays decent if you don't have Hearts of Iron and don't mind slow framerates, but brace yourself for the worst horn and drum known to MS-DOS. There's a bom (sic) you can collect which can summon an airstrike missile to wipe your screen, but Vinny doesn't seem to think it did anything. Spoilers - it reduced the number of enemies by 3! Oh, there was a shi that he failed to notice, he coulda used it to protect himself for a bit. He also realizes you can shoot down your own base and fail the mission on purpose, which brings an end to the European battling.

...Have you noticed that the same drums and same horn are in the DOS port of Street Fighter II? I have.

[CHN] Battle of the Martial Arts | Once upon a time, a kindly old monk-esque character by the name of Shau Ling was going on a calm afternoon walk in a thunderstorm. Except it wasn't afternoon, it was like midnight or something! Lesson learned, kids, never go outside at night during a thunderstorm - you could be killed, in this case by this evil wizard with a murder-palm-blast technique.

The game itself is one of a strangely prolific amount of 1v1 fighting games - look, I know I mentioned Street Fighter II earlier, but gee beasties, the game created a lot of competition just by existing! Anyway - Vinny picks Hua Shan v.s Gai Bang (!!!!!!!) in the forest. A comment below mentions his apparent brother Gang, but I know how Chinese nomenclature works and so I realize it would then be Gai Gang.

Hua Shan is a swordsman whereas Gai Bang borrows from Sun Wukong's playbook and speaks softly, but carries a big stick. Anyway, after that Vinny picks Shau Ling and his wiener-leg v.s his exact clone off the coast of the Forbidden City, a very popular tourist attraction in China. Shau Ling actually has some magic palm-blasts of his own, which makes you wonder why he didn't defend himself against the evil wizard. I didn't understand a single thing of that opening text, so for all I know the whole game could be his dying dream as he lays bleeding.

[CHN] China Pro Baseball 1 and 2 | This should be a run-of-the-mill baseball game using at-the-time teams for the Chinese baseball leagues, but the game got stuck on the opening cinematic and the faces (probably real Chinese baseball superstars at the time) made Vinny crack up so hard he could substitute for a malfunctioning space-time continuum. Plus, the music in CPB1 reminds me of Upside Down, a song my old Discord friend said was used in plenty of animation memes, yet I know it from speedpaints that also have *gasp and shock* NCS music in them!!!

Oh yes, the 3D rotating title screen graphic glitches out when it reaches its loop-point.

[FRA] The Death of Vegeta | One of exactly one fangame on this list, it's very short, but very infamous for the way the always Super Saiyan-powered Vegeta screams out "BIG BANG ATTACK!!!!!" at the top of his royal Saiyan lungs. It ends when he falls down an impassable pit and you're greeted with text that says "Vegeta is dead. As he did not perform beneficial gestures in life, he is immediately sent to Hell. [Game's end] NB: Nothing is preventing you from using the crystal balls to revive him. You could start another game." You can tell this was made before Vegeta became Goku's BFFFL (Best Friend Forever For Life).

[KOR] Father World | Much like France has Flashback/Another World/Heart of Darkness, Korea has this little doozy. Vinny was laughing at the game's name, but at least it's not called Daddy World. It's very story-driven, and hey, how much percent of the game's data do you think went into recording voiced dialogue for it?

You've got scenes featuring a cityscape, an evil overlord, some sort of rivalry staring contest as the glass breaks in front of them, the most 90s shonen anime cutscenes your Korean game company can buy, blondie and blue-hair are friends now, and then when he starts the game he's immediately run over by a car. Good job, buddy.

Then he's nursed back to health by a lady. Let's move on.

[KOR] Fox Ranger 1 | "SUFFICIENT TOILET" That's the first thing Vinny hears upon booting the game. It actually says "Soft Action, present:" Anyway, this one's a side-shooter along the likes of R-Type and Life Force/Salamander. It takes place in 2044 AD, 26 years after this VOD and therefore 20 years from now. Having graduated from Korean air force boot camp, this little NF43 is saving the world from aliens. It's always aliens in these sorts of games.

I see you, Mr. Death Star! You can't disguise yourself as a Saturnesque planet and get away with it, not without Lucasfilms noticing! And you, CATS! You just gonna stop by without saying "all your base are belong to us"?

Stage 1 is called "Outer Space", yet that's the most inner-iest space I've ever seen! That's, like, plane-cruise height! Anyway, you shoot all sorts of creeps and weirdos, the game says "flushing right here/fashion deer/f⨺⩙⫑ you nerd", and there's a giant skull-monster as the boss. Shoot it in its sensitive eyes to kill it.

[KOR] Fox Ranger 2 | This exciting sequel improves upon the original in many ways - presentation, story (something about alien monsters being dropped into the ocean), cutscenery (Listen! Voice acting!), a whole different play style (think Star Fox), and more creeps and crawlies to fight, including a two-headed dragon boss that roars like a gong! Unfortunately, Vinny has the exact wrong soundcard (likely Soundblaster instead of Roland) and so his shots sound like a piano constantly smacking the D key and occasionally D-Sharp. You'll be screaming for vengence (sic), just like the game's tagline!

Stage 1 is still as inappropriately named as the first game's - "Into the Fire" when you're swirling in a weird vortex.

Just like that Vinny is immediately thrust into a voiceless cutscene where NF43 is getting debriefed by his boss and now we're in a top-shooter. The enemies now die in a very low D-Flat.

[USA] Krusty's (Super) Fun House | Nothing much to note on this, aside from Vinny's Krusty impersonation. It's Rat Trap for the British computers, only now it's multiplatform (released for Game Gear, Nes, Genesis, Snes, and of course DOS) and you assume the giant clown-shoes of Herschel Krustofsky as he guides the rats into the Bart-painted mallet-operated rat genocide machine. Would this be foreshadowing for the Simpsons fangame where Krusty beats up dolphins?

[KOR] Lars the Wanderer | Gravity and Samsung combine their forces to give us an Adventure of Link-esque game where you play as a Marth recolor who finds a fairy and goes into town. Unfortunately, it's very text-heavy and Vinny only knows English (and even then sometimes he screws up), meaning all he can do is be distracted by fairy cleavage and wander around the town and do nothing and then give up. At least the music's awesome though, especially the title screen.

[CHN] Last Hero in China | ...You know what I just noticed? Given the digitized stills from some kind of movie, Last Hero in China might be based on a movie, thereby making it also a licensed game! How did I not notice this before!? Anyway, they turned the movie into a beatmup, where you play as the movie's main character, master of a flying kick and a Mantis eye-poke.

The story seems to be about some bad guys taking over the Forbidden City and therefore our white-clad protagonist saves the day and stuff. However, the gameplay on display is no Turtles in Time or Streets of Rage. The sound effects don't kick in until a good bit into Vinny's short romp with the game - you'll have to wait to hear the Last Hero in China yell out what sounds like "week Dwight" when he uses the flying-kick move.

Heh, check out those two identical goons! They're synchronized in a way only fictional twins could be! ...Oh of course. It wouldn't be a beatmup without the flying kick hurting you. And this won't be the last beatmup we see in these MS-DOS stream rundowns, oh no. But let's move on to...

[CHN] Little Monk | In this Zeldalike, you are Little Monk, and you're sent on your merry way by Big Monk off to save the world and stuff while the whole way, a fun, dopey little tune plays. First stop, the forest! If I could read more Chinese I'd figure out just what that forest is called. Little Monk has 2 Extra Dudes™, infinite apples, no firework rockets yet, and one scroll of each major element, all while a timer counts down from 1,400.

The candles represent his health bar, and they go down kinda like Minecraft hearts. Essentially he's 75% as durable as a completely unarmored Minecraft person. This isn't that bad when you have infinite apples, which explode into some Bonk-like monstrosity and are a handy defense tool against the snakes and fiery skulls and evil mushroom-monsters and whatever else. Little Monk can restore health with these pork buns, which says to me that he gets them as a little treat for a job well done.

You can also find bubbles that contain little busts of Hippocrates and a necklace - both likely talismans. Vinny accidentally uses the wind-scroll, so at least we see that the wind goddess floats around on a cloud and carries a banana-leaf fan which she uses to literally blow away the competition. Immediately after he gets mauled by boars and dies, noticing a Vineshroom (read: a green variant of the evil mushrooms) and not the old man who dropped a scroll. Why if that were me at that DOSBox, I'd trudge through, or as through as I can without understanding very much Chinese! So he gives up and moves on to...

[KOR] Little Witch | Remember the crow from the intro screen to Zis: The Adventure? He's from this game! Unfortunately, his appearance changes the book cutscene's music from this nice waltz to a horrible screechy mess. Not to mention Vinny can't get past this one, nor understand the story. Cool page effects, though. Ablex was ahead of their time, with their game Hades being Korea's very first FPS.

[KOR] My Love: Chaos Daejak-jeon | Why are you surprised that this one's published by Samsung? Samsung is based in Korea and so of course they'd be the ones to introduce video gaming to that little fun and fancy-free southern half. All the loons up north get is endless streams of propaganda left and right. Speaking of lunacy, this one's opening cutscene goes for some Ranma½-style wackiness, as we see the old man educate these five heroes on the dog-ship about the sorry state of the world - the rivers are drying up, the forests and flowers are dying, genetic scientists are splicing pigs with bunnies and horses with ducks and pigs with chickens, it's horrible! And so after some insane slapstick we see a weird yellow dinosaur chase after an electrified bone.

All this just for a beatmup where you attack skeletons in the cave while stock dancehouse music plays and the game-over screen is the villains eating you in the soup.

[KOR] Pee and Gity | Not yet, buddy! First we have to watch a trailer for the producers' other game, Illusion Blaze! From what it displays it seems to be a space-shoot game with multiplayer support where you and a friend can shoot aliens in space together.

Okay, after fiddling with what the right command is, he can finally experience the game. The cutscene is about a frog and a mouse, best of friends, frolicking in the fields together when they should come across a smoldering house. Their first course of action is to investigate, whereupon they're immediately accosted by Carills and soon afterward Gators. Surprise, Vinny! Another beatmup!

Then he messes with the screen settings and immediately gives up on the game. By the way, Pee is the mouse. First "Mr. Goo" from that one K-drama and now this.

[CHN] Prince of Evil | Featured in Eat Drink Man Woman (a movie from China) and now in good-ol' American-grown Vincent Vinesauce, this game is also a Zeldalike, only now instead of limited time your dude now has limited ammo. This one features a soldier galloping through the woods on horseback when he finds a demon-werewolf-thingy. Then we're thrust through the door into the game.

Soldier-boy has no elemental scrolls this time, just his feet, his wits, and his 300 spirit cards. They're all you have to stand a chance against the haunted dresses, skeletons, beetles, Adhering Suzies, and Vagina Dentata.

[KOR] Super 64 Classic | Way to break the alphabetism of the folder-pack, bucko. Now your dreams of Super Mario 64 on DOS are ruined - instead we just get MS-X games, like this Hello Kitty (Cat Widemohom) one where he immediately dies and gives up.

[KOR] Rage of Tiger 2: Blood, Money, and Tears... | I agree, Vinny, that title sounds super silly. After a bit of a struggle, he finally gets it to work whereupon he beholds the chalky jank that lies within. Meet our roster - Hanin, Kent, and Mangho! I see Kent wants to go Skins against a buncha Shirts.

The gameplay isn't much better - Vinny hasn't increased the cycles, and so he can't combo his opponent to death, which is required for victory. And why is the background a spraycan-doodle of a tiger?

[KOR] Shakii the Wolf | Hey, this one's in English! We can understand the story this time!! *ahem* So, once upon a time everything was happy in the land of Shake, and its ruler, good old titular Shakii. Then one dark and stormy night, this bad lion called Midnight Sword came in, and so Shakii and his people (wolves?) had to go to the Land of Giants for help.

Then after that Vinny bungles up the cutscene speed when Shakii finally shows up - way to go, pal. You can't play the game now because now the cutscene's gonna take 99 more hours instead of another minute or so!

[USA?] Shaolin Campus King | Why is the opening cutscene silent? It's eerie without, say, a fiery swoop and some rock-n-roll. And as MrDmoney156 said, you need to press Escape when the vanity plate appears - this would cost you the cutscene, but at least Vinny would've gotten a taste of the game!

[KOR] Super Cop | Sorry, you spiky-shouldered Jupiter-helmet, you're no Mappy. Especially when your game has that stanky Korean DOS snare and you run around a Ghost House from Dinosaur Island (Super Mario World) and you say "DIE!!!" when you get hurt and you ricochet everywhere when you die. ...A-and a princess is there now too. The art direction makes me sad.

And that start-game menu has to be stolen from something too! Day of the Tentacle? Ironic, Super Cop - you steal, which the police would actually reprimand people for.

[RUS] Super Tetris | Finally, something with less infringement! In this take on the classic (which coincidentally celebrates its 40th anniversary this year), we're sent to the Moscow Circus, with bomber-rats and kids who look at elephants. What changed in 7 years? The music is quieter and in Vinny's case it stops early, not to mention the controls, tragically, have been worsened. From Russia with FOON!!!

[KOR] Adventures of Eol! | More like "Eeyole" in Vinny's case - he should know better, in Korean pronunciation logic, "eo" is pronounced like "aw".

Anyway, this one has the most insane story out of every Family Pro game - there's this evil purple character who tears the mountain asunder. Eol must stop him before he turns the whole world into rubble! Vinny can't play past the first level, which means he'll never experience the twist that Eol is a prince of some sort.

After he dies and gives up, he laments how his collection is double his usual. Moving on to...

[KOR] The Adventure of Tipi: Legend of Meda | From the makers of Lars the Wanderer, here's a cutscene with a badass mother-fricker in a cloak and then a dragon shows up. And then... demo footage. Tipi herself reminds me of Yuko Asou in design.

[KOR] Dragon Force: The Day 3 | Another space-shooter where you shoot aliens!? Perish the thought! Well at least this one doesn't work, just makes a gentle hum.

[CHN] Journey to the West | If I had 5 yuan for every time a non-game medium from China was turned into a beatmup available for MS-DOS, I'd have 10 yuan, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice. Anyway - Vinny immediately picks Bajie because "Ooh, piggy-man!" and fends off weird red-green-blue demons before falling off a bridge and dying. I miss this sort of brevity from Vinny. Now it's just Corruption Stockpile this, Commercial Chaos that, horror fangame this, hot new game that.

[CHN] Legend of the Dragon | Ignoring the IM stock sound at the title screen, remember Sun Wukong, snotty little brat and so-called "protagonist" of Journey to the West? Here he is, as a playable character alongside Little Dragon Lady! When you begin, the wind goddess (remember her, from Little Monk?) shows up and tells us of a bad situation. Vinny then mistakes the Manji for something worse. Then bazoomy, we're sent to the mountains!

It plays like Graal, as Vinny said, and you fight your way past music-loving sea serpents, weird racist caricatures, Peahat-Piranha Plant hybrid monsters, and this bouncer who won't let you in without an ID or something. He looks like a pirate who got drunk and wound up on the wrong side of the Himalayas.

[KOR] Van Slug: X Mission | This one has the usual scifi story of "it's the future but ohs no aleins took over", but in a more comical sense - this bumbling little idiot is late for his mission! So the general chews him out, he hops on his bike and into a run-n-gun adventure!

After the longest transformation sequence in the world that isn't a Fetish, we're off, shooting skeleton-demons and mud-monsters and being distracted by "I Love Elvis" on the bottom! But don't get the pills! Big mistake!! Now you got hurt a bit!

After he dies to spikes, he ends this big fat ugly DOS stream right then and there, exactly 2 hours long, for your "enjoyment".

[erenmusic]

Live Review of Splintered Sunlight, Grateful Dead Tribute band, at the Machunk Opera House

This was a show I saw almost a year back, but I remember it like yesterday. My whole family is filled with deadheads and I've been accustomed to them for most of my life, This show and Band, Splintered Sunlight is one of the best dead cover bands out there and they play in New Jersey all the time!

so to set the stage, I was out in the Poconos and we found tickets to this show. I had seen Splintered Sunlight play before in Asbury Park and Long Branch, in much bigger venues than this one, sometimes even standing outside the show and listening to them because we didn't get tickets. But this venue was just amazing, in a little town up in the mountains inside of an Opera house, it was raining and the concert started around the evening, It couldn't have been cooler. eventually after everyone got in we sat down and the music started playing and as you can see since I somehow found a video of this so you can really see how the lighting and stage was set to the tone of a good dead show. The first set started out with Missisipi Half-Step Uptown Toodeloo Which Is one of my favorite songs from the Dead so It got me right into the mood for the concert. In classic Dead fashion I had also found some materials to enhance the experience. So after a long time of the first song going, right when I was almost about to get bored, Franklin's Tower starts playing, and man was the guitar and keyboard combo just magical. The ''Jerry'' of the group, Buchy really gets the feeling of Grateful Dead right and especially his voice and how he plays the guitar really reminds me of my favorite era's of Jerry playing. Also Franklins Tower is usually played in tandem with Help on the way and Slipknot, so I was really pleasantly surprised when they just switched right into it. after they ended Franklins tower, most of the rest of the set was them playing songs that were too Obscure for me. I honestly hadn't heard of many of the songs or at least couldn't recognize them properly (Will probably be called a poser for this) except Cumberland Blues which made me switch right back into the groove. Ive always loved the energetic feeling and the vocals on that song( I gotta get doown! I gotta get down!). The set ended shortly after that and there was a slight intermission. I went outside the venue and bummed a cigarette from a guy and we talked about the show for a bit before going back in. Shortly after that, the Second set started. After a bit of tuning their instruments and a warm-up song, In the Midnight Hour, they got right into China Cat and afterward, I Know You Rider. By this time I was already standing in the front dancing (You can actually see me in the video lol). they did a really good job with China Cat this night, I know you Rider was also one of the best versions I have ever heard live, the Keyboard player was really on his game in this show. I remember just closing my eyes and dancing. I am normally very self-conscious about being watched while having fun, but the combo of I guess the materials and the feeling of the concert allowed me to let go of the thought of people seeing it. I was having a great time and I kinda got lost in the music after a point. then after a couple more songs, they got really really heady. A very well done Drums and then an ambient piece right after it was the most psychedelic the concert got and it was really an experience I haven't had anywhere else yet. I was very zoned out and kind of dancing and moving, swinging around on autopilot but then eventually towards the end they started The Wheel which just has the greatest hook. (Won't you try just a little bit harder) and Not Fade Away I was just blown away by the energy it gave me. I was jumpy and I was feeling the music so much more but then very quickly they stopped and got really heady again before finally transitioning into a version of Hard to Handle by Otis Redding which was just icing on the cake of an already amazing show. Some of the best Dead Cover Bands you will ever see, Check out Splintered Sunlight, and don't gatekeep them, the Dead is still out there, you just have to find them.

[followerofmercy]

For the ask game: 15, 23, 38, and... the way 7's worded makes it feel like homework so I'll add a fully optional 7 as well

For this game here!

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

I think Frustrations of the Hunt is one of my most visually impressive stories and would work best in film. Most of my writing involves a lot of internal thought that would be difficult to put into a different medium aslfkj

23. If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

Bro I do not have time to do that asldfj. If I let myself think like that, I will never get anything done so I don't even wanna entertain the thought. (probably my Steven and Jasper punch buddies story though. Thanks SUF for ruining something fun.)

38. Talk about a review that made your day

OH! Two big ones stand out. One was for A Bard Walks in and Hugs the Bartender, which is a story about Diluc panicking about forgetting things about his deceased father. I got one comment that made writing worthwhile talking about their own grief and how forgetting the little things about people is terrifying and how much they appreciated being seen like that

The other was for a Childe fic that briefly mentioned past teenage sexual abuse and how Childe is furious about allowing that to happen to him and I had a guy (who has since deleted the comment) say how much they appreciate seeing the rage. Which, yk. Evoking emotion is the whole reason I write so I'm pretty thrilled.

aaand 7: Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you've written and explain why you're proud of it:

mmm tossup between my original story about Leon the Hare, just one standout line:

Coffee in hand and laden with the horrifying reminder of the passage of time, Leon sat down at his tiny table for his favorite activity: Fretting.

Which I think by itself sums up his character!

The other is from Frustrations of the Hunt again: They continued like that for three days and three nights. Lan broke every bone in their body and howled until iridescent blood sprayed from their throat and Yaoshi healed every wound while begging and pleading for them to just stop. The gale of Lan’s wheels leveled the forest and shredded the plants until sap ran like water, pooling in the crook of their hips and soaking their green prison, but it didn’t matter. The trees regrew as fast as they could destroy. 

I think it's a good show of violence and desperation and I'm really proud of the visual of Lan screaming so hard and loud that they literally bled

[b1vcksheep]

This is my review of the X3 from Attack Shark. I came across this mouse shopping on Amazon by searching "3395 Gaming Mouse". I took a chance and I paid it for $39.17 and received it the same day.

Specs

Sensor: PAW3395

Size: 118.5*61*39.7 mm

Weight: 49±3grams (my copy weighted in at 54g on my scale)

Polling Rate: 125Hz-1000Hz.

Main Click Switches: Kailh Black Mamba Micro-Motion Switches, 80 Million Click

Scroll Wheel: TTC ENCODER

Connectivity: 2.4Ghz Wireless/Bluetooth/USB-C Wired

Battery Life According to the item description: Up to 200Hrs

Build Quality: My first impression of the X3 was, for a peripheral that cost less than a sushi dinner for one, this thing is built fairly well. If I squeeze the heck out of it, there is no creaking or popping. When I shake it, there is a very slight rattle of the scroll wheel, but nothing that you would feel in game (there is no rattle at all on my lavender copy). The bottom of the mouse doesn't flex when I push on it. The clicks feel nice and snappy. They are a little heavier than I would like, but that is my personal preference. There really isn't much pre/post travel on M1 or M2. I enjoy the scroll wheel quite a bit, it has some really nice defined steps and isn't too loud or scratchy. Mouse 3 and 4 feel nice with some post travel. The weight balance seems to be okay, If anything I would say it is potentially a bit back heavy. That may be due to battery placement inside the shell.

Performance: I had no issues with sensor tracking and did not experience any spin out. The polling rate seemed to be stable, and I did not feel any stutter or jitteriness. My main shooters are CS2 and Overwatch 2. I felt I performed well, and the shape really grew on me. The shape seems to pretty much be the Ajazz Aj199 and doing a little searching around Amazon, Attack Shark might even be a sub-brand of Ajazz(?) I don't know that exactly, I could be wrong. I also used the mouse to play Dota 2 and the X3 will now be my main mouse for that particular game moving forward. I use a relaxed claw style grip and have baby hands (17cm x 10cm). I never dealt with cramping or discomfort. Battery life is pretty dang good! It holds are charge for about 10-12 days with about 5-6 hours of use a day. Overall, I had no real issues with the mouse in game. The software is pretty basic, but important to download so you can update the firmware. This will allow you to change the debounce timing.

Overall Thoughts: My overall thoughts about the X3 are that it is a pretty decent little mouse if you are low on funds. Is it anything that shakes up the market or adds something we haven't already seen? Not at all. Is it worth $40? I would say it 100% is. It will be in my rotation moving forward, and I am hoping its durability stands up with the test of time.

Edit: I now have two copies of this mouse and the first one (in white) is still going strong. My Lavender one feels even better build wise. Huge Fan of the Attack Shark X3

[gamersonthego]

GOTG Review: Hypnospace Outlaw

This is the next game in my Backlog Roulette series, where each month I spin a wheel to randomly select a game on my massive backlog that I must play (though not necessarily to completion). These wheel spins occur on the monthly preview episodes I co-host with my friends on The Casual Hour podcast.

Both of my parents were educators at my elementary school (they're retired now.) Mom was a 3rd grade teacher and Dad taught gym. They both would stay after classes were over to work on lesson plans or grade papers or move equipment, and I got to freely choose which one to spend time with before we got to go home. With Dad, I would mostly practice free throws in the gym (though I never got any good at them). But with Mom, I’d often get to play on her computer (when I wasn’t watching Digimon Adventure on her classroom TV.

That was probably my first real experience with computers. I’d play things like Oregon Trail II (the best one, by the way) or an awful typing program called PAWS featuring a freaky Cheshire-Cat-like mascot. But sometimes, I would load up Netscape Navigator and just poke around on the late ‘90s internet. 

I hated this cat so much as a kid.

I only remember bits and pieces of that time online. A Sokoban block-pushing puzzler, a Super Mario Bros. fan game with all-new levels, some first-person hovercraft racer that had multiplayer LAN capabilities (I’ve never been able to find that game since, it’s definitely not Hover! by Microsoft.) a fansite for the Sonic Underground cartoon. Even with my fragmented memory, I remember the joy and adventure I had just digging around. Anything could be around that next corner, and that was half the fun.

Hypnospace Outlaw is the closest I’ve ever come to reliving those formative computer experiences. Set in an alternate 1999, you are thrust into Hypnospace — an internet stand-in that’s part GeoCities and part forum chatroom — and are asked to moderate and police this online Wild West. 

Developer Tendershoot has nailed the tone and aesthetic of this era. The highly compressed bitmap images, the way pages auto-play (incredible) music when they load, the terrible, terrible fonts, the fileshare servers that are completely inscrutable unless you know exactly what you’re looking for — it’s all just perfect. And it’s not just Hypnospace. The game has its own little desktop computer experience complete with email, virtual pets, a download manager and more. It reminds me of Cibele or Her Story, but much more freeform and robust. But all that is just aesthetic —  the game itself is pretty cool too. As a Hypnospace moderator, you’re given little jobs as you explore the various pages and zones of the browser: Take down some copyrighted material here, censor some threatening speech there, find some lost files that are hanging around…somewhere. Some of these tasks just require you to pay close attention to the pages themselves, while others force you to put on your hacker cap as you cross reference ID codes with unlisted pages, crack passwords or decrypt files, all while a corporate conspiracy bubbles up around you. 

It’s truly satisfying to use your online sleuthing skills to their fullest. And whether you’re stopping a virus from breaking the virtual world or just banning a kid who can’t seem to stop making offensive webcomics, you just feel this sense of power.

In many ways, Hypnospace Outlaw the platonic ideal of the concept of late-90s computing. I do wonder if that hyper-specific aesthetic and mechanics gives it too narrow of an audience, but as someone who is part of that narrow audience, I found my experience with it to be incredibly fun. And it’s one I won’t soon forget.

[nines82]

Reinventing The Wheel (Again) - A Review of Jon Pertwee's Doctor Who Run (1969-1974)

In 1969, a few gaps were left from the premier of Spearhead in Space and The War Games that were pushed politely with supplementary Troughton Who material where The Doctor had further adventures in attempt of escaping his eventual regeneration into his third incarnation, but when Jon Pertwee was announced as the Doctor and even more so that Doctor Who was making its way to color television (despite many having seen the good majority of his first outing in Black & White as color television was still considered a luxury by 1969-1970). A new breath of fresh air was injected into Doctor Who, changing the formula once more from Troughton's Sci-Fi heavy adventures and base under sieges to more adventure/spy-esque dramas in veins similar to James Bond. The almost eccentric Jon Pertwee known for his almost comedic tones was now becoming the action hero of television for many children. So . . . . . What made this era so good? Simple: It felt so refreshing and new. When put onto the stance of Doctor Who at the time, The Doctor wasn't quite the most athletic or involved type and rather was this more brains type who would only occasionally put his hands into stopping conflict rather than holding a saber and combatting the MOTW. Jon Pertwee's Doctor however ran about, pranced, got his hands dirty while also being the studious type of that educated while also being as witty as ever in his remarks of those who were pushing buttons. Paired into his exile came with Bessie, a yellow car that proved just as trustworthy as any old police box could. Transporting the Doctor to one location to another, and of course there was the off-chance the Doctor may use a helicopter or a boat (the boat in particular was an infamously popular stunt, and a personal favorite of mine) and on top of all this we had such diverse sets of stories and monsters that never felt as if they bled into one another like at times many Who MOTWs tend to become at times. From the Autons to the Apatosaurus (yes, literally) there was something so unique to every creature to appear in his era. And while not every serial was up to snuff and didn't have the budgets to truly commit to the bigger ideas, it pulled through in magnificent graces that only Doctor Who could really pull off. I also feel that the Doctor truly has his best in this era, while I do love the previous Doctors and I adore the ones after; I feel as if Pertwee gives this almost touch to the Doctor that no one really captured until maybe Capaldi. A great balance of this action hero with that reserved, well spoken professor of his previous, exactly the kind of thing you want out of The Doctor. Now what would the show be without the cast? Now, without a doubt I'd say Pertwee had the best lineup of companions of Classic Who. From Liz Shaw to Sarah Jane, or Sergeant Benton and Lesbridge Stewart it seemed we had it all for characters that were equally charming as they were almost scene stealers from the titular character themself. And who can forget that of Roger Delgado as The Master? While later eras may feel like the threat of The Master became less so and his stories lesser, here he feels so RIGHT and downright malevolent. Still, he does show that he is not without shreds of recognition of greater evils when he stands alongside The Doctor (even if he finds himself motivated rather pettily so). I'd say the best stories are Spearhead from Space, The Daemons, Colony in Space, Inferno, The Mind of Evil, & The Silurians. All really showcase the strengths of the era rather splendidly to me, while in some ways showcasing its flaws. Packed with that classic Pertwee action, drama, and science fiction that never really feels too out of the ordinary for Doctor Who.

[nekyn-alb]

Lies of P Demo: Gameplay and Style Review

Style and Narrative

The game looks excellent, from small clutter to massive building fronts. Every street corner is packed with traces of human life ripped apart by the puppet uprising without being stuffed, floating furniture or badly aligned windows are rare, although they do exist here and there. That's completely fine, it happens in every game and often more obviously than here.

Areas are interconnected nicely, although not particularly complex so far. Being able to climb to another level here and there and not dying for jumping off a low roof is good fun.

The hub is not too large, has a lovely atmosphere, and you can see from the stargazer teleport which (additional?) NPCs are in it. Being able to groove with sad tunes is a great design choice. When talking to NPCs however, I have to ask: why can't I talk to them from any direction and why do they take such long pauses between their lines when every other readable prompt disappears two seconds too early?

In many aspects, I find the game too derivative of Bloodborne. Blatantly so, to be honest. Stalkers are hunters, puppets are beasts, both appear to be bereft of humanity. Workshops are workshops, Sophia is a firekeeper (with standard greeting!), the petrification disease stands in for a beast plague driving victims mad, the aesthetic and layout of the city is vaguely adjacent to Yharnam--not gothic of course, but bridges and plazas and carriages and boxes are all so strongly reminiscent that I sometimes felt like recognizing Cleric Beast's bridge, Gascoigne's summoning spot or Arianna's alley. Ergo and otherworldly materials will probably develop into an alien influence adjacent to BB's Great Ones and the arcane cosmic.

But don't fret, the original story elements possess some intrigue of their own. Next to the mystery of maddened puppets, it appears we will come across fairy-like influences that explain the origin of Geppetto's automaton vision, which has been wiped from at least two puppets' minds.

The petrification disease could also be interesting. I am not sure if it comes from the puppets yet, maybe an influence of their ergo, but having more cause of chaos than brutal mayhem is always good.

I always love me a good critique of large companies, so the different depictions of how they influence Krat's life on the large and small scale are welcomed. Soulslikes tend to struggle to put meaning behind their copies, but here I can already posit theories, like the struggle representing P's drive to gain a speck of humanity.

Hooray for making the dingy Daedalians blow up, boo for implying that Venigni is going to be a rad wheel-spinning robogrinder instead of the greedy loser he is meant to be. Knowing the genre, he's probably going to end up mad anyways though.

P should be voiced. No reason not to, really. He is a character with development, not a blank slate. FromSoft allowed Sekiro to speak, you don't have to cling to other titles' concepts.

Gameplay

So you don't think I'm just salty, here's my Souls Cred (I'm a bit proud of these, fight me): Finished DS1, DS3, BB, Sekiro & Elden Ring, the middle three several times, and recently beat DS3+Ashes at SL1. I gave up on my BL4 and No Beads Runs halfway through because I hate getting one-shot. On my first playthrough, I beat every (and I mean every) ER boss bar five in less than 10 tries. I like these games a lot and would like to believe that I know what I'm talking about.

Let's start with the compliments!

Enemies appear in plentiful sizes and shapes with interesting models and varied move sets. Regular puppets have a fun amount of health and deal dangerous but not overwhelming damage.

P's quickly unlocked weapons are equally versatile, even if they only seem to have two light/heavy attacks each. For the most part, they feel appropriately weighty and I never noticed a swing being too fast or slow. Reassembling weapon parts can be strange because the handle determines the moveset, so a blunt mace head might adopt a rapier's quick stabs. Funny enough to not be off-putting.

P himself moves adequately well. He doesn't slip too easily from the thin catwalks bridging Krat's roofs and turns quickly. Same for the camera, this is the first game in a while where I didn't crank the sensitivity up to 8.

Dogs don't teleport. Good dogs.

I skimmed most of the tutorials because they are just Souls mechanics, but they do a fine job of explaining the basics. Being able to see that you have enough ergo by the number becoming blue is a wonderful idea.

The skills seem to be fairly extensive and might allow for a solid build once you get far enough. They should be unlocked earlier though.

There is a rewarding amount of items strewn throughout the world and even the frequent sawtooth cog drops feel nice. It's cool to have something to trigger traps with from afar!

Dropping ergo in front of the boss room is very kind and a good conclusion when you hand the player infinite homeward bones with the watch.

I like the pulse cell regain through attacking. Could go a bit faster though, you don't have that many to begin with.

And now we get to the detailed negatives, much of which comes down to the ever-maligned frame data.

Parrying needs a few more frames. Maybe guard should linger on its own instead of being spammable. Since they basically do not have to recover after a parry, slower weapons get one hit in, then they strike again and hyper armor through anything, even charged heavy attacks. This does not feel good by being unresponsive to player actions. Where's my reward for nailing three perfect parries in a row? And why do I sometimes take damage after I get the SUCCESS vibration and ping? Even red attacks shouldn't knock me down and punish me for perfect parrying.

Perhaps there should also be an indicator like Sekiro's red kanji, whose fading tells you when to act. The red sparks only tell you that a special attack is coming sometime in the next five seconds. Subverting Sekiro's kanji into not being able to dodge the red attack is also an odd choice, since you can dodge it with proper spacing. Without mikiri counter or jumps it only leaves parrying, and again, odd choice. The game didn't need this feature, considering…

Dodge has no travel distance and struggles to actually dodge. I am fine with limited iframes, but if I can't move out of an enemies range with two dodges, I question why I even have the ability. Another factor for the insufficient dodge is how little Capacity improves your carry weight. If I want to stay under 29% for a somewhat acceptable dodge, I can't use a club AND armor pieces. The legion arm was thrown right out because of how heavy it is.

Strongly delayed attacks a la Elden Ring are just annoying. Malfunctioning puppets have an actual reason for doing it, but it's not natural. You have to memorize attack patterns instead of reacting to them. Waiting three seconds for an attack to come down in an instant feels weird.

The waiting game makes for a lackluster combination of Bloodborne and Sekiro. There need to be larger windows between attacks for heavy weapons and less recovery after striking back.

The weapon durability system isn't very appealing to me. The game moves too fast for this tactical element, which would work better in something paced like earlier Souls titles. Bouncing off the opponent with everything, including weapon arts, is bad. That's not how durability works or should be represented. Just make me deal less damage instead of stealing my turn for surviving until the end of the fight. You also forget about it because the areas are too short for your weapon to degrade noticeably.

The stronger watchmen feel like they have too much health (I was level 30 with a balanced build + rapier at the end). Not a lot too much, but their resistance could be lowered for more enjoyable mini bosses inbetween areas of enemies.

Dummy traps could last about 1.5 seconds less.

Why do you only get rally on chip damage? There is no lore reason like in Bloodborne, and I doubt there could be any that would make sense for it to be restricted to blocked attacks. Enemies (bosses!) should not have access to rally, period.

Enemies feel like they have block or jagged models/boxes that won't let me pass. When P collides with them, they stick instead of sliding past each other, which often meant that I was stuck right in the enemy's weapon arm. This is particularly obnoxious with long-limbed bosses, who will just trap me with their left arm and attack with the right. Because of the long dodge recovery, I can't adjust after this happens either.

Why are there six enemies with what appears to be instant parry next to each other? Give that to one or two in a group, otherwise you'll be ganked (completely fine) and an attempt to strike back after parrying one enemy will be punished.

Watchman Paarl leaves shock traps that sometimes hit you as soon as you get up, making it an unnecessary double punishment. He also has two very fast attacks with barely any windup that are inconsistent with his regular attack speed (and another fast one that winds up for about 2.5 seconds). Since all his strikes are either right-left windup while crouching or standing, they and the grab are difficult to distinguish.

Since all his larger attacks place him right on top of you (slams and Sonic slam), he can just combo any attack from there and hits. The grab often caught me because of our models sticking together when I tried to dodge after such a slam or a shock trap. The grab also reaches too far and has unintuitive windup-followup, which messes with dodge timings too hard for an early enemy.

Speaking of shock traps, the radial burst with random lightning bolts surrounded by a ring of lightning doesn't feel fair. Where am I supposed to dodge with my half-inch frolicking steps? Run startup is too long to flee, what fires first is hard to foresee. And when he decides to do another Paarl burst right after, which doesn't have the appropriate charge before blowing up, you've just eaten three to five attacks without seeing any of them.

I enjoyed my time a lot, some improvements and this'll be a great game!

[sidleyparkhermit]

I posted 1,361 times in 2022

That's 671 more posts than 2021!

292 posts created (21%)

1,069 posts reblogged (79%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sidleyparkhermit

@gilligould

@butterflydm

@odekirk

@amazinglybeautifulphotography

I tagged 1,100 of my posts in 2022

Only 19% of my posts had no tags

#bcs - 264 posts

#better call saul - 251 posts

#bcs spoilers - 162 posts

#wheel of time - 65 posts

#howard hamlin - 53 posts

#wot on prime - 50 posts

#omitb - 50 posts

#brba - 43 posts

#kim wexler - 42 posts

#only murders in the building - 41 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#the one thing metastasis were cowards for though is that when saul brings up shanking they didn’t have walter look @ jose like ‘are we sure’

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Gus has a lost love that defined what humanity he ever had and stands at the center of his renunciation thereof. Lalo has an eight foot vertical leap

117 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

#4

Charles booping Oliver on the nose while singing in the kitchen was somehow gayer than them actually holding hands in front of Charles’s ex-kinda-stepdaughter

161 notes - Posted July 14, 2022

#3

Something very beautiful about Patrick visiting the set when they filmed that scene on the beach 😭

[Photo by Marshall Adams]

165 notes - Posted August 19, 2022

#2

Learning from the Wheel of Time RPG wiki entry that Robert Jordan used to run D&D games for his stepson and other neighborhood kids -- presumably in the 1980s, ish -- makes everything make so much sense. It's wild to me that no one mentions this.

Anyway here's the Edmond's Field Five as an old-school D&D party:

Egwene: wizard

Nyneave: cleric

Mat: rogue who consistently makes the worst possible choices and insists it's just what rogues do

Perrin: big strong fighter who never seems to want to do any fighting

Rand: another wizard, but with a super fucked up backstory

Moiraine: aloof NPC who herds cats and withholds important information

Thom: more down-to-earth NPC who dispenses lore and occasionally averts TPKs

and of course

Ta'veren: how you all meet

See the full post

220 notes - Posted February 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Do they have... cats and dogs in Randland? I mean, they have wolves. Please tell me they have cats and dogs and I can just use the idiom "it was raining cats and dogs."

235 notes - Posted January 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[epaily]

first 8 hours of totk review :D

SPOILERS UNDER CUT

that was the coolest intro to any game ive ever seen, loved starting w 30 hearts and full stamina especially bc that wasnt possible without glitches in botw

do not reconize matt mercers voice at ALL

i thought link losing his arm was very cohesive!!! lovelove love that thats how we lose hearts

i love everything about rauru

top portion of the map is absolutely gorgeous. the fall colours are beautiful. the constructs are creative and blend in well artistically and narratively. theres cooking pots everywhere. its still large but a blip on the map comparatively and very mountainy so its very good to explore and find secrets. scratches my brain

it didnt take me 5 weeks to do the tutorial this time around :D

speaking of map, it looks fucking huge. i dont think its bigger then the botw map but the area borders are different and its throwing me way off

how do i fucking drive some of these things

every time i see an item i reconize its like greeting an old friend i havent seen in a while

and every time i see a new thing im both pleasently surprised and at ease, like im meeting someone for the first time but we immediately click

and every time i see something mildly incorrect im either sad or discombobulated. i walk past a place where i know theres a shrine in botw because ive seen it a thousand times, and theres no shrine. i dont know where they went, just sunk into the ground again? they should still be standing just dead and not glowing and inaccessable imo :((

speaking of shrine THERES ZONAI SHRINES!!!!!!! they follow p much the exact pattern as botw shrines. overall so far i prefer the aesthetic of botw shrines more.

at the end instead of spirit orbs you get "light of blessings" and i stumbled over typing it because i 100% think it should be blessings of light. light of blessings sounds incorrect.

why is there a fuckign fairy fountain right outside dueling peaks stable.

WHAT IS THAT GIANT KING BOKO WHAT. WHAT.

blood moons are still a thing unfortunately and its much sharper and scarier looking this time around

its very weird not having my champion abilities. or 3 wheels of stamina. and everything hurts. where is my paraglider. WHY CANT I GLIDE THIS FEELS SO WRONG

take a shot every time i fall off a cliff

theres tunnels to the center of the earth that instakill you

it isnt "malice" anymore its called gloom now. im still calling it malice.

the abilities links prosthetic arm give him are legit so fun. a bit janky and they take some time to get used to but im having a good time. all i can make is a shitty little car i cant steer. im having a great time.

im not playing this as cohesively as i did botw. walking right past quest markers and things. the way i played botw means by the time i would have gotten the master cycle there would be nothing left for me to do to use it with. i doubt it will be the same but i want stuff to do post game

im not fucking finding a thousand korok seeds again. not for a very long time. i laughed maniacally after the first one and then stopped at 7. they have backpacks bigger rhen they are its adorable.

lots of new weapons

fuse is my favorite ability

shiekah slate is now called the "purah pad" which doesnt roll off the tongue as nice. do you think link was pissed when zelds made him give the slate back. do you think he misses cryonis blocks. because i definitely fucking miss my cryonis blocks

theres been fucking crows outside my window being loud as hell this whole post

lurelin village got invaded and swamped by pirates :((((

my least favorite armor set, the luminous gimp suit is being sold for free in kakariko and im kinda mad about it

paya is chief of kakariko now :D

i had a few more but im tired now zzzz

[cashewally-sarcastic]

I posted 6,163 times in 2022

1,121 posts created (18%)

5,042 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bunnywabbit229

@auroraborealis1890

@muffinb

@echoing-sounds

@sarcasticmudkip

I tagged 2,872 of my posts in 2022

#anons asking - 399 posts

#ochi's first ace attorney - 334 posts

#hi aura! - 212 posts

#ctu - 180 posts

#sorry for clogging your dash - 146 posts

#fire emblem - 57 posts

#yeah - 55 posts

#tbna - 54 posts

#hku - 46 posts

#ask game - 39 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and then half and hour later you're arguing that yes you went that way it's a dead end and no i'm not making that up look at the kiddie map

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Fuck I love stars

25 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

#4

This is an ask to talk about blorbo from your brain because i care them

Can you pick one

Or alternatively I can use a wheel

26 notes - Posted February 6, 2022

#3

Bestie spspsps is Applebee's real and on that note is Claire's real and are toddler run lemonade stands real

Yes yes and yes

-My friend actually works at an Applebees (it isn't that good in my opinion)

-Claire's is real, and if you get your ears pierced there you can't donate blood for an entire year because their equipment isn't trusted to be clean!

-Not TODDLERS per say but little kids do try to run lemonade stands (because we engage in good ol american capitalism from a young age) but it's getting harder to do so because of HOAs.

26 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

#2

Shoutout to all the people who cry easily when overwhelmed, you’re not crying about something “dumb” and it’s okay to let it out <3

31 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

this little guy in the Zelda trailer

he doesn't really look hylian...

125 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

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