#gaius had a hand in some terrible things!!

[goth-emrys]

"20 years- almost a lifetime to make the short journey back to where you began."

Kilgharrah, s1 e6

There's a lot about Gaius that pushes the illusion that his part in The Great Purge was a complicated decision, but no matter how much evil was on the side of sorcery Gaius made his choice knowing there would be no exceptions for the innocent.

[obsessionrepression]

I’ve always thought Uther was an interesting character. It would be so easy to write him as just the super evil guy who kills magic users for fun, but he’s more complex than that. I think they did him dirty in the episode where he came back as a ghost, because that was almost a blind evil rampage. I would think excusing that in-canon would maybe be saying that it was because he was a spirit, and so all his worst traits were exaggerated. However, in his life, he really did care about Morgana and Arthur. Did he treat them terribly? Sure. Was he a terrible person? Obviously. But he was still human, he wasn’t all terrible. There are some scenes where he’ll risk his life for Arthur or just show some of his humanity. His relationship with his wife is a bit confusing, because on one hand, he cheated on her. However, he also went a little insane when she died and definitely lost most of his morality after that.

Morgana and Merlin both exhibit traits of Uther, depending on what you believe his relationship with Ygraine was. Morgana is blinded by her hatred and she kills innocent people in her twisted conception of revenge. However, Merlin also loses a lot of his morality and humanity at the thought of the one he loved (Arthur) dying. He killed many of his own kind to ensure his safety, even going so far as to advocate for the continued ban against magic despite knowing of its potential for good. Even Uther could have claimed ignorance to this point. It’s not super clear, but it seems that magical communities were always more secretive, even before the Purge. Gaius had magic, but wasn’t extremely skilled. It’s possible that after Ygraine died, Uther’s grieving, no longer fully sane mind reasoned that magic truly was evil. His logical reconciliation with people like Gaius was that maybe magic just corrupted over time. However, we still see Uther turning to magic when things get very desperate. This could be because (1) he just got very desperate and was willing to do whatever it took to keep his family alive, (2) his opinion on magic got less radicalized with time, or (3) he never believed in the first place. I’m leaning toward option 1, just because we also see him risking his own life at times to save his family. Again, Uther is NOT a good person, but he does seem to love Arthur and Morgana.

Merlin didn’t have this ignorance of magic, and was fully knowledgeable of what he was doing when he told Arthur that there could be no place for magic in Camelot. Like Uther, his loved one dying caused him to lose his humanity. Not to the full extent of Uther, but it was there. The difference between Uther and Merlin was that Uther reacted after Ygraine died, and Merlin was trying to prevent Arthur’s death. I could see the potential of a much darker Merlin once Arthur died.

Or, y’know, Uther could have just been a “bad guy ™️” who hated everyone. But even though I hate him, I do like to think of him as a more complex character. I’d like to think that in a really weird, twisted way, he did actually love Arthur and Morgana, and maybe Ygraine??? (but that was complicated). He was evil, but I would love to have seen more of his backstory.

[eastendripper]

An alternate universe where modern time Merlin,. who's either secretly obsessed with games or is a professional gamer is thrown back in time to medieval Camelot. He's entirely convinced he's got isekaied into some video game he's never heard of and he makes that EVERYONE'S problem.

The series starts with Merlin waking up in Gaius's chambers, the old man saying: "You're finally awake"

Light breaks through the veil of fluttering eyelashes. The boy stirs awake, and an old, gravely voice slips past the overwhelming clutches of somber, “You’re finally awake!” Merlin's eyes snap open.

The old man sits by his side, clothed in faintly barbed robes, “I swear I WASN'T trying to cross any borders,” the boy answered hoarsely. The man’s frown deepened, and his curious eyes flashed with unanswered questions, “Right, w-what exactly happened?”

The man let out a whistling breath, somewhat relieved to see him lucid, “You collapsed my boy…,” here he hesitated, “After you used your… magic to save me you’ve lost your consciousness and fell to the floor”

Magic. Right. “As long as I'm not destined to a life of dragon-hunting…” the old man blinked, “Anyway, uh, where am I?”

Arthur and Merlin's first meeting? Merlin says his stats are too low to start a brawl but they can get back to it at a different time. Arthur is fairly confused.

Light shone brightly that morning, it glared into his eyes fiercely, burning. Having started his work under Gaius, Merlin propped the stripe of his heavy bag, filled to the bream with herbs medicine and headed back to the citadel.

Cruel laughter made him halt and he looked towards the group of wealthy clothed knights. They stood round a blonde man, while a servant with a shield ran from said man's flying daggers. “Do you want some moving target practice?” The boy watches as the shield, previously in the poor servant's arms, rolls towards him.

Merlin's foot falls over it before the boy could pick it up. He smiles but the younger boy doesn't look at all grateful. The servant shivers, his eyes wide with fear, lips stretched down in misery. Meroin frowned and looked up, “Oy! Come on, that's enough,” he called out to the knight, who stopped harshly at the causal adress, “Not everyone’s good for knight class, you know?”

The servant frowned, “A what now?” he muttered under his nose.

Knight blinked a few times, “What?” The blonde’s eyes were wide, lips twitching, uncertain between amusement and frown.

“You've had your fun, my friend”

“Do I know you?” the knight questioned as he stepped forward, and Merlin shifted in discomfort.

Unsure, Merlin opened his lips to answer, was it a quest or something? he really hoped it wasn't, “Merlin,” the boy shrugged his hand shooting forward, “Gaius's new apprentice”

A flash of surprise brightened the man's eyes before it disappeared like a lightening on the sky, “So I DON'T know you”

Merlin blinked again, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his slacks and shrugged, “I suppose not.”

“And yet you called me a friend”

The boy titled his head in thought, “No you're right, we'd be a terrible team, I'm sure you'd steal all the loot. I wouldn't invite you to my party”

“What?” the knight stopped, he seemed to have lost his footing for a moment, his mouth hanging open, before he regained himself and asked: “What in all heavens are you talking about?”

Merlin rolled his eyes, “To put it simply: I'd never have a friend who could be such an ass”

For a moment the knight didn't say a thing, then: “Or I one who could be so stupid... Tell me, Merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?”

“I know how to sneak?”

The knight turned towards the other knights with a face so confused, not that the rest could under any better. Blinking the knight turned back towards Merlin, sounding uncertain of his own question, “Would you like me to help you?”

“I don't think so mate,” the knight faltered, his eyebrows shooting up high, “My stats are too low for this fight, let's reschedule” Merlin decided before turning away.

“What...” One of the other knights whispered to his friend. They watched him walk away. The blonde knight was too stunned to stop him. "...was THAT?"

Arthur catches Merlin crouched in the middle of the corridor being sneaky, when asked he says he was going to steal the horse.

“Merlin?” The boy froze. He turned around to meet the prince's questioning gaze, “WHAT are you doing?”

“I'm... Stealing a horse?”

Arthur blinked, looked around, and muttered something under his breath, something far too quiet for Merlin to understand. “And WHY pray tell are you stealing a horse, in front of Lady Helen's room?”

Merlin sighed in defeat, “Alright, you got me… I'm actually completing a quest”

“Once again I'm asking WHAT—”

Merlin telling Arthur he should already be able to craft a diamond sword at this level.

"I don't understand how you've got such a huge level and you're still fighting with steel?"

Arthur sighed, tired, completely worn-out, and done with Merlin's bullshit, "What ELSE am I supposed to fight with Merlin?"

"I mean your level's big enough to upgrade to diamond"

There's a loud bang. Merlin. startles and looks towards the prince. Arthur's head lies on the desk.

When the undead army comes to Camelot Merlin says: "the zombies are coming," imitating the game, soon after he adds that they don't have enough suns to plant the "attacking plants", so they need to start with sunflowers.

When Merlin realizes they won't be able to kill the undead with mete swords his eyes flash with recognition, "Shoot I know that one. WE NEED MORE SUNS!"

Arthur falters, nearly ran through with a sword of one of the soldiers, "Merlin?!" he screams, "Can you NOT?"

"THEY'RE ZOMBIES ARTHUR!"

Merlin randomly humming GTA Mission complete whenever he successfully sneaks out or through the castle.

Kilgarrah sighs again as he hears the familiar humming as the warlock descends down the stairs, towards his cave.

The scene where Merlin knocks down that guy? he says "KO"

"I'm begging you Merlin, you're making NO sense"

[miqolena]

My first-final thoughts on Dawntrail

My opinions and spoilers for the entirety of 7.0 under the cut.

Overall I enjoyed this expansion immensely. There was no point at which I thought to myself, "I can't wait for this part to be over," or "This is really dull," or "I want to move on to the next thing right now." There was no character I did not enjoy and feel at least something small for. Characters I kind of didn't like initially (Bakool Ja Ja mostly) ended up being some of the characters that I loved most. Wuk Lamat was a joy in her development. I wasn't annoyed by her initial faults and I liked that she retained some of them even at the end, after she had grown so immensely. Zoraal Ja's dimensions were revealed a little late into the game, but I had already sort of gotten a notion of them by the time that happened, so I didn't mind, and I find the idea of struggling with the legacy someone leaves you with the best of intentions to be really compelling. I adored Gulool Ja Ja to pieces. And Wuk Eva. And literally everyone else. I'm serious, there's no one I didn't like.

The area that affected me most was Living Memory, and if that was like kicking me in the shin, then Heritage Found was the winding back of the leg. I have dealt with my own losses in life and the whole thing with reusing souls and resurrecting people and preserving them based on their memories was grotesque to me. My loved ones are gone, and we had wonderful relationships and I loved them dearly, but I would never want to speak to them again. Because they are dead and should stay that way. But the scene with Wuk Lamat speaking her last words to Namikka was terribly upsetting because I couldn't help imagining the things I would say to my loved ones if I could see them again. It struck home with painful precision and there were tears.

The themes of love, legacy, war, redemption, death, and loss were poignant to me, and I think they were handled really well.

As for the encounter design, the dungeons were fairly difficult but I never died in a Trust run, so they must not have been too hard. Same with the trials. I can see myself doing these things over and over again without getting too tired of it for the next two or so years. The single player duties were great except for the one QTE in the duel with Gulool Ja Ja, which stressed my hands to the point of forcing me to take a break for a few hours.

For gathering, I appreciate the new action Revisit that the game added to the two gatherers, it's always exciting when it procs. Fisher seems to be sitting pretty too. I haven't done all of them yet but so far the Wachumeqimeqi quests have been great, and I haven't done any of the role quests yet, so no opinions there. For crafting, I haven't really delved into the potential of the new actions, but I know they're probably going to shake up the game a little.

Music was spot on as usual. The game's graphical update has done wonders for the visuals as well. I'm lucky in that I'm completely enamored with Lena's updated appearance; a lot of people aren't so happy. I hope that their concerns can be addressed over time.

This might be new expansion smell filling my head, but I think Dawntrail might be my favorite. I can't wait to see where they're going with this, the aftermath to the threads they made in the MSQ. I want more of these characters and places and I know I'm going to get it, and that's the most comforting feeling.

As for fic, though… I think it's going to be hard to put Gaius in there with Lena. The entire first half the WoL is providing a role of mentorship for Wuk Lamat and I'm going to have to think really hard about how I write the MSQ so that Gaius is there and not just nodding his head and going 🧍‍♂️. There are a few moments when I was playing where I thought to myself "Gaius could respond to this with something relevant to his character," like for example when Zoraal Ja remarks that the Empire was full of idiots, but those were just a few moments. It'll be hard to fit him in with the rest of it and depict the MSQ in a way that's both not boring/retreading what viewers have already seen to much while still getting the information of the plot AND my changes across. We'll see how it goes. I'm not super hankering to start, so we'll see when I get to that.

That's all. See you ingame!

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

Orchids

The Locked Tomb fanfiction, about how Mercy might have learned about the events at the Canaan House. Probably an AU since, lets be honest here, I have no idea what was going on in Harrow. Or in general.

Anyway, enjoy?

There is an orchid in Mercy’s room.

An actual, real, honest-to-god orchid, with no teeth or eyes or bodily fluids leaking out of weird places. Which meant John hadn’t grown it himself – his brief gardening hobby somewhere around their third millennium, please don't remind her – and flowers? Gifts in general?

Well, that could only mean one thing: John has done something exceptionally stupid. Again.

(It could be Augustine being stupid, too, but that fucker still hadn’t apologised for when he ate the last of her favourite biscuits four hundred and sixty six days ago. Yes, Mercy has been counting.)

Alas, John; and Mercy has no choice but to ask, god, what is going on?

She lets himself into his room without knocking; if he didn’t want her to come, he’d lock it. He knew she was coming anyway.

„Mercy,“ he greets her, and he offers her tea and biscuits, that bastard. She grits her teeth as she watches his smile grow nervous – she can almost feel the speeding heartbeat in the black hole that he is.

„Anything is the matter, Joy?“ he asks, and why, yes, everything is the matter! „Did you like my present?“

Another insufferable presence shows up by the doors; Augustine, leaning on the doorframe and smoking a cigarette. She sends him a glare just to remind him that nothing is forgiven, then she turns back to John and marshes to his desk.

She hits her hands on it, spilling the tea her beloved emperor poured for himself anyway, and for her too, and says: „My Lord, what did you do?!“

His smile grows wider and his eyes twitch as he answers: „What did I do? Mercymorn my dear, can’t I just give you flowers?“

By the door, Augustine falls into a definitely unrelated coughing fit, the effect ruined by occasional wheezing laughs.

Mercy wrinkles her nose at that and then accuses The King Undying: „You never give me flowers! Only when you did something exceptionally stupid, beyond mortal comprehension stupid – actually, you don’t give me flowers enough for that either. So, what did you do, John Gaius?“

The God mutters something about full-naming and women that Mercy chooses not to hear, and Augustine gets out in between his barely subdued coughing: „You don’t give me flowers at all!“ He even manages to sound genuinely hurt enough for John to bloody get him some, and:

„This isn’t about you, Augustine!“ Mercy scolds, „John, stop trying to divert attention, what did you do?“

„…Tea?“ he says instead.

„I’m going to skin you alive and have you wear itchy sweaters and listen to It’s Raining Man for all eternity,“ complains Mercy as she takes the tea. She is seriously tempted to dump the hot liquid into God’s face. It’s not like it would hurt him. Much.

„Augustine, tea?“

„Nah I’m good.“

„John!“

And so, God sighs, and tells her that he didn’t have a choice, and that it wasn't his fault it all went so terribly askew, and that he had no control over what happened at the Canaan House, and poor Cytherea, horrible that this happened, neither of us saw that coming, I just wish we could have helped when we had the chance–

And Mercy listens to him as he speaks, sipping her cooling mint tea. Mint, she doesn’t even like mint!

The Mithareum is quiet as a graveyard.

Finally, he stops speaking – not his fault, and a funeral, and two new Lyctors, two new baby Lyctors – and Mercymorn the First looks God in the eyes as she says: „Flowers aren’t going to fix this, my Lord.“

(Maybe nothing isn’t going to fix this – she shoots a quick look at Augustine.)

On another completely unrelated note, Mercymorn would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone about her own meticulously planned funeral, the by half-a-minute program to be found in the second drawer of her bedside table–

She doesn’t get the bloody opportunity, as John speaks again: „…You could choose which one of the new Lyctors you want to mentor. I was just going to assign you one, but, for you, you can choose.“

„I don’t want a Baby Lyctor to mentor!“ bursts out Mercymorn, „Have you considered that?!“

„Well, the first pick is still yours,“ the God smiles, ever so bloody understanding, and Mercymorn doesn’t have the nerves for this anymore.

She pushes past Augustine and towards her room, which is not nearly far away enough. She can still hear the men, feel their presence. And she would rather not.

„Well now you’re just playing favourites,“ accuses Augustine.

„I don’t have favourites,“ the God answers, and: „I need to buy her more flowers, don’t I. Help me choose some?“

Flowers.Flowers. The only flowers that had ever fixed anything were the poisonous ones, and even these are no good for her.

Flowers.

With that thought projected into the aether, Mercymorn slams the door behind herself.

She hopes God all-knowing gets the freaking message.

[glass-frogs-and-dragons]

Fly, Little Bird

This is my submission for Gwaincelot week 2023! (A bit late, I know, but it's here now)

Day 1- Catch, "This is a terrible idea"

Summary: Lancelot can shapeshift and Gwaine has set out to catch a beautiful bird.

“This is a terrible idea,” Muttered Lancelot. “Why are you so eager to please Arthyr all of a sudden?”

The other man gave no signs of having heard Lancelot’s complaints and continued dodging stray branches and braving the dangers of the forest and his two left feet. It wasn’t that Gwaine was clumsy- you couldn’t be a knight with terrible balance- but he had a knack of both getting distracted too easily by the most mundane of things and at the same time focusing so much that he often forgot about things around him. Many people found this annoying, no matter how efficient he may end up being, but Lancelot found it endearing. 

“What did you say?”

“I said,” Lancelot rolled his eyes and grabbed Gwaine’s arm before he tripped again on a root. “That this is a terrible idea. How are you planning to catch a bird with… a net and seeds? Arthur won’t care whether it’s alive or dead,”

Gwaine steaddied himself with Lancelot’s arm and grinned in response, squeezing his bicep lightly.

“The bird seems to like me, and it’s not like I’m going to hurt it. I just want a feather, that’s all.”

“A… a feather?” L asked, unsure.

Gwaine’s eyes softened and he finally sat down beside a tree, running his fingers through his hair.

“I want to prve that this bird is real and not magical. Arthur hasn’t said it outright, but I know that as soon as I give the word and prove the bird’s existence, he’ll send every knight after it and then the bird will have no place to go. They all say that his wings are made of fire and brimstone and jewels and whatnot, right? If I prove that this bird has normal feathers, then it means it’s not magical, so they don’t need to go after it.”

Lancelot was once again taken aback by the other man’s unusual display of thoughtfulness. 

“So you’re trying to protect it?”

“I sometimes think the bird can understand me. I’d hate to see it hurt.”

Lancelot nodded and sat beside Gwaine, dropping his head on Gwaine’s shoulder, unsure of whether he should pull back when he felt the other man stiffen beside him. Gwaine didn’t give him a chance to do so, however, as he melted against the other man.

“I’m sure the bird appreciates the sentiment.”

Lancelot thought about the events that had brought them to that particular moment and almost chuckled hysterically. He composed himself. Gwaine didn’t need this right now. 

~ooo~

Arthur had received news of another magical sighting with impassiveness and no little boredom. He knew the laws against magic were becoming weaker by the day around Camelot’s borders, but people inside the city were unconvinced. 

There had been several sightings of a bird, each more fantastical than the last. Between wings of fire, human words falling from its beak, diamonds for claws and bright red eyes, Arthur had almost fully lost interest, believing that it was more a product of bored minds than anything else. He was unwilling to follow the rumours, if not because he himself was beginning to doubt his father’s laws against magic, due to his worry at Morgana’s state.

She had fallen ill short of a month ago, and no doctor had been able to find a cure. Arthur was not supposed to know, but both Gaius and Merlin believed her disease to be caused by magic and would try to find a magical cure. Arthur was worried, just as the rest of the kingdom was, but if her fate was in Merlin’s hands, then he was more relaxed. 

Then he heard it. 

~ooo~

Lancelot had been careless. 

Usually he walked far enough not to encounter anyone during his sifs and he definitely wouldn’t fly close enough to any town, nevermind a city. But lately, for some strange reason, he had been flying closer and turning into a bird more often.

He would say that he didn’t quite remember when the change first took place, but he would most certainly be lying. It was one of the last days of winter, and he had hit himself with a tree branch during his flight and his wing was hurt. It was just his luck that a group of knights was patrolling nearby and Gwaine (Gwaine of all people) had split from the group. It was Gwaine who found him and bandaged, albeit haphazardly, his wing. After that, getting closer to him in his bird form had been a temptation that he couldn’t help but falling prey to. 

Every day he flew closer, every day he spent more time with Gwaine, every day he took longer to shift back. Lancelot barely remembered a time in which he had felt more comfortable in both his skins. However, when the farmer that arrived to court claimed that:

“The bird’s blood can cure Lady Morgana.”

His fate was sealed.

And thus the quest to find and catch himself was born.

~ooo~

“Gwaine,” Lancelot called just as Gwaine was about to stand up again.

The man’s eyes glinted with childish excitement and Lancelot’s resolve melted.

“I’ll give you a feather if you keep a secret for me.”

“A feather? Wait how can you-”

“Please,”

Gwaine nodded and sat back down.

“Lancelot, whatever it is-”

His words died in his throat as Lancelot began to shift before his eyes. When the bird, the same creature that he had befriended, appeared before him hopping from one leg to the other awkwardly, Gwaine could not restrain the gasp that left his lips.

“Lancelot? Oh my God, Lancelot.”

The bird, Lancelot, carefully plucked a feather from its wings and laid it in front of Gwaine’s feet. The other man took it reverently and hurried to store it safely inside his bag while Lancelot changed back.

“This is it, I guess. My secret.” Lancelot croaked.

“Why?”

“What do you mean? I can’t exactly stay too long without shifting. Since birth I’ve found it hard to-”

“Why did you come back after I helped you? I just made it less safe for you.”

Lancelot stared at him for a while, then chuckles ebgan falling from his lips. He laughed and laughed until Gwaine was almost holding him in his arms.

“I don’t think I’ve felt safer with anyone else, Gwaine. Not in a long time, at least.”

Lancelot could feel Gwaine’s heart speeding up and his leg starting to bounce. He clung onto him just a bit tighter for just a bit longer.

“How about…” Gwaine cleared his throat. “How about we bring this back to Arthur and then you tell me about the sky?”

Lancelot smiled and, in lieu of any response, linked their fingers together.

(@gwaincelot-week)

[ivorydice]

for your WIP ask game, I am most intrigued by "arthur's got no sense what a prat" because that is a most excellent document title and also sums up arthur in a nutshell 🤣

I honestly cackle every time I see the wip title lmaooooo. Its tentative title is "What The Shadows Hide", but I'm still very unsure about that one.

This fic is my very first venture into writing for Merlin! Despite the fact that I've been in love with this show for more than 10 years lol! And I've always read hurt!Merlin fics for this fandom, but apparently my brain wanted hurt!Arthur for my first fic OH WELL XDD So it's over 30k of angsty hurty Arthur, and some slight hurt!Merlin because WHY NOT.

An assassin is loose in Camelot, and Arthur has been suddenly cursed into losing one of his senses every day. Naturally, he's super angsty about this because he hates being vulnerable and it gets worse with every sense he loses, with his father growing increasingly distant, with Gaius not able to find a solution or a way to help even though time is fast running out, but of course Merlin is on the case to find a way to stop the curse no matter how hopeless it seems.

Merlin is a bit of an awesome servant in this fic to be honest, he keeps trying to lift Arthur's spirits and not let him drown in his own head, and there are some nice friendship moments between them. Honestly it's been really fun exploring ways to write their friendship, even if it might be a little awkward because I'm not used to writing for them AT ALL lol. The weird thing is, I'm awkward writing everyone…except Uther and Gaius??? Their voices just come out so naturally?? Should I be writing about them instead lol???

The fic is in the final stages so it should be posted soon enough, even if I have been hesitant about sharing it lol. But I'm kinda proud of myself for finally writing a Merlin fic after all this time, posting it up on my AO3 page will be like sticking a picture I'm proud of up onto the fridge XDDD

And here is a snippetttttt from the intro scene:

The feast picked up in pace and noise again, music and chatter filling the room and echoing off of the stone walls. Servants bustled back and forth with their trays of food and drink, soldiers and knights laughed and slapped each other on the back, noble men and women preened and gossiped with each other. It was a banquet like any other, happy and free and celebratory, with laughter and cheer.

It felt in terribly bad taste.

Arthur wasn’t one to shoot down a successful mission. The encampment of sorcerers had been taken out, after all. Cleanly and swiftly and with no casualties on their side. It was everything Camelot could hope for.

But to celebrate killing other people seemed distasteful, whether they were practitioners of magic or not. He wasn't new to bloodshed by any means, sometimes killing was unavoidable; but to have music and laughter and entertainment afterwards sent something uncomfortable shivering down his spine.

Arthur picked up his goblet and held it out to the side, wiggling it pointedly.

Merlin, hovering close behind and to his right, responded immediately, a pitcher of wine in his hands and a raised eyebrow on his face. He looked an awful lot like Gaius when he did that. “Perhaps you should take it easy on the wine, my lord,” he murmured as he poured, voice barely audible under the music.

Arthur sent him a sardonic look. “And perhaps you should shut up.”

Merlin rolled his eyes and moved away, and Arthur drank from his goblet again, revelling in the way the wine warmed its way through his body and in his veins and up into his head until things became a little more fuzzy.

They had been sorcerers. So he shouldn’t feel so strange about it. Sorcerers were the enemy, they were dangerous, and they had to be stopped. A single magic user alone could cause untold damage; five of them banded together on the borders of Camelot had been far too great of a risk to simply let go.

Arthur eyed the crowded hall, the smiling faces and the easy going attitudes. His father beside him, laughing with Morgana.

He drank again.

[legends-of-time]

Amelia’s Story (BBC Merlin Story)

Chapter 18: Le Morte d'Arthur

Masterlist

Amelia's POV

One night Amelia sneaks into the corner of the Council Chambers out of sight. She had seen Arthur, Merlin and some Knights rushing back into the Castle after a hunt, carrying a body with distraught looks on their faces.

She hides behind one of the columns in the corner and listens as Arthur describes a beast that they had been confronted with. It had the strong body of a leopard and the fearsome head of a snake. Amelia knows that this is the next episode from her notes.

After Arthur finishes, Gaius confirms her thoughts, "The creature you describe has all the characteristics of the Questing Beast."

"Surely that's a myth," Arthur says.

"According to the old books, the appearance of the Questing Beast is supposed to foreshadow a time of great upheaval." Gaius continues undeterred.

"Gaius, it's an old wives' tale," Uther says. Again with not listening to Gaius.

"Look, whatever it is, it's spreading panic. The people fear it will enter the City." Arthur mediates.

"Then we must kill it. Arthur, gather the Guard together. You ride at dawn." Everyone, except Uther and Gaius, leave the room.

"I beg you, Sire, do not dismiss this. The beast is an omen. I've seen it come before, the night your wife Ygraine passed away." Gaius pleads.

"I've told you not to speak of that night again. I have conquered the Old Religion. Its warnings mean nothing to me now. Arthur will destroy the beast and we will no longer suffer at its hand." You should not be so sure Uther.

——

That night, Amelia's dreams are not pleasant. She sees flashes of images. It is of Kilgharrah flaming before it becomes Merlin yelling "NO!" then Arthur and Merlin running in the woods, Arthur lying sick in bed, and the Questing Beast, just like Arthur had described.

She bolts up in bed screaming.

Faintly she hears someone calling her name but she does not respond as she is still trapped in the terror of her dream.

"Amelia? Amelia?! Wake up."

Someone then grabs her arms and she struggles against them but as she does, the voice breaks through.

"Wake up, it's me! It's Anne! Stop it! It was just another dream." She realises it is just Anne trying to calm her. Anne's face is in front of her, hands stroke her face.

"It was terrifying," Amelia says.

"Oh, it's going to be alright." Anne hugs her.

——

Amelia gets very little sleep that night. When she is asleep she would have the same dream and when she is awake the images of the dream kept flashing through her mind. She still feels hysterical from her dream by the time dawn breaks.

She hears voices in the Square and sees Arthur speaking to his Knights in the Square. She immediately rushes from her Chambers, still in her nightgown, to the Square in the desperate hope she can stop him. It is one thing to read in your notes that Arthur is going to be harmed but to see it in her dream and knowing that not everything is set in stone so he can still die, makes her panic.

"For the love of Camelot!" Arthur cries.

"For the love of Camelot!" The Knights reverberate.

Amelia bursts through the door of the Castle and runs down the steps to where Arthur and Merlin stand with the Knights in front of them.

"Arthur!" She cries.

"Amelia, what are you doing?" Arthur asks, turning to her.

"You cannot face this!" She cries, now reaching him. She tries to grab him, but Arthur struggles with her.

"Amelia, go back to bed. There is nothing to be afraid of." Arthur says. He doesn't understand!

"Please, Arthur. I have seen terrible things! You cannot go!" She begs.

It is at this moment that she hears Morgana emerge from the Castle. "Amelia? What is going on?"

Amelia does not respond to her and continues to struggle with Arthur. "She probably had a bad dream, Sire. I'll take her to see Gaius." Merlin murmurs to him.

Amelia looks at him feeling betrayed. "No! I will not let you go!" She has to keep fighting!

"Please, Merlin, get her inside," Arthur says, ignoring her.

"No!" Amelia cries. Arthur hands her off to Merlin and motions for the Guards to come down. Merlin guides her up the steps towards where Morgana and some Guards are coming towards them.

"I will make sure he's safe, Amelia. I promise." Merlin murmurs to her.

She shakes her head at him. "No!" Merlin hands her off to the Guards. "No!" Guards lead her inside.

"What happened Amelia?" Morgana asks her, coming to stand next to her. She takes Amelia away from the Guards to her Chambers.

"I had a dream! Arthur is in danger! He might die if he goes! You have to believe me!" Amelia tries to explain.

"Do not worry I believe you," Morgana tells her and with that reassurance, Amelia drops off to sleep as soon as she is placed in her bed.

——

Anne's POV

After Amelia's dream, coupled with the myths she had heard growing up, Anne has been anxious ever since Arthur, Merlin and the Knights had headed off to find the questing beast.

Her worst fears are met when, while she is with Gaius in his Chambers, Merlin suddenly bursts in and clears a table with one sweep. Guards come in after and place a stretcher with Arthur in it on the table.

"What's happened?" Gaius asks as he looks at Arthur's wound.

"He's been bitten." Anne feels herself going pale. She knows what this means. She steps forward to the other side of the table to look herself.

"I tried to save him," Merlin says.

"You must tell the King," Gaius says to the Guards, who leave to do just that.

"There must be something you can do," Merlin says, almost sounding like he is pleading.

"I wish there was."

"I'll find a cure." Merlin bolts to his Chamber.

"Merlin!" Gaius calls.

"Trust me!" Merlin says, entering his Chamber.

"Can you hear me, Sire?" Anne asks Arthur's unconscious body but she gets no response.

"Here." Merlin brings out his magic book.

"The King'll be here any moment!" Gaius says worriedly.

Merlin places the book on a table. "He can't die. It is my destiny to protect him. We haven't done all the things we're meant to do." He says desperately.

"That is a lament of all men," Gaius says unhelpfully.

"Gaius, he's my friend," Merlin begs.

This seems to get through to Gaius, who says, "Then save him." Stepping back from the table.

Merlin uses magic to flip through the book. "Gestathole." He chants but nothing happens. He flips through the book again. "Thurhhaele." Nothing happens.

"Maybe the spells need time to take effect," Merlin says, now even more desperate.

"The bite of the Questing Beast is a death sentence that no magic can overturn," Anne tells him. She hates her words as soon as she speaks them but she knows they are the truth.

She then hears Uther's voice echoing down the corridor. "Where is the Prince?! Where is my son?!"

Uther enters. "Arthur!" He cries as soon as he spots him.

Merlin quickly magically closes his magic book.

"Do something, Gaius!" Uther begs.

"I am trying, Your Majesty," Gaius says.

"Gaius will find a cure. He will not let him die." Merlin tells him.

Gaius seems to give him a look. "I will do everything in my power."

Uther desperately picks up Arthur himself. "I'll bear him to his Chambers."

Uther walks through the Square with Arthur in his arms, Anne, Merlin and Gaius following. Uther collapses in his grief. Four Knights come to bear Arthur inside as the King weeps on his knees. Merlin looks on heartbroken and Anne sees Morgana opening a window and watching the scene below. Anne cannot help but think about how Amelia will feel.

——

Amelia's POV

The dreams keep continuing though not always the same. Sometimes in a different order. In others, she can hardly remember what she had seen when she wakes up.

Amelia can tell something is occurring from the noises outside her Chambers and the look on Morgana's face seals it for her.

"Morgana?" Amelia asks when she enters. "What has happened?" She stands up from her bed.

"Your dream..." Morgana hesitates. Amelia feels she knows what Morgana is about to say before she says it. "It... Arthur's been bitten by the questing beast."

Amelia feels herself go ashen. She stumbles and Morgana reaches out and catches her. She realises she is mumbling "No" repeatedly over and over again without even realising it.

"It might not mean he is going to die. Remember how our dreams do not always come true." Morgana tries to comfort her, bringing her over to a seat by the window, but Amelia barely hears her.

She knows that Arthur may not die but others might. Or if not, there is going to be much suffering before it is over.

——

Anne's POV

Anne cannot bear to tell Amelia that her dream has begun to come true and instead goes with Merlin to the Dragon to hopefully find out what they can do.

"I have failed Arthur, failed in my destiny," Merlin says as soon as they reach the platform and see the Dragon sitting in front of them.

"And yet, you would not be here if that were true." He says.

"He was bitten by the Questing Beast. He's going to die." Anne tells him.

"Does he still breathe?"

"Only just." Merlin answers.

"Then there is still time to heal him." The Dragon says.

"I've tried. I cannot save him." Merlin says. Anne puts a hand on his shoulder in reassurance.

"You do not know how to save him." Anne cannot help but smile slightly, there is still hope!

"But you can tell us how?" Anne probes.

"Perhaps. It will not be easy." The Dragon says.

"I will do anything," Merlin says.

"Anything?" This question causes a pit to form in Anne's stomach. This reminds her that the Dragon is not always trustworthy.

"Please, just tell me what I have to do!" Merlin says. Anne chews her lip. Maybe she is worrying over nothing. Hopefully.

"Very well. The Questing Beast is a creature conjured by the powers of the Old Religion. You must use the same ancient magic to save him."

"But the Old Religion died out centuries ago." Merlin points out confused.

"The Old Religion is the magic of the earth itself. It is the essence which binds all things together. It will last long beyond the time of men." The Dragon says.

"But how can that help us save Arthur?" Anne asks.

"You must find those who still serve it. Those who hold dominion over life and death."

"Where?" Merlin asks.

"Go to the place that men call the Isle of the Blessed, where the power of the ancients can still be felt. There you will discover Arthur's salvation." The Dragon explains.

"Thank you. Thank you." Merlin says gratefully.

They turn to go but before they do, the Dragon speaks one last time, "And Merlin, the young Pendragon must live, no matter what the cost."

——

They are walking hurriedly towards Gaius' Chambers when Merlin turns to her.

"I'll go alone. You do not need to come." He says.

"Why not? I can look after myself!" Anne says.

"I'm sure you can but this is my destiny let me do this. Promise me."

"But—"

"Please. You need to be here for Amelia." As she analyses his face she can see that he is not taking no for an answer.

"I—" She tries to argue again but the desperate look on Merlin's face stops her. "Fine!" She promises reluctantly. Anne turns and instead heads to Amelia's Chambers. And if she stomps as she goes then she will not admit it.

As she walks there, she cannot help but wonder what this cost is. The way the Dragon had said it felt very ominous.

——

Amelia's POV

Amelia learns from Anne, who had finally come to her, that Merlin is going to head to the Isle of the Blessed to plead for Arthur's life. This does not reassure Amelia at all as she knows that a life is the cost and that Merlin will be offering himself.

She continues to drift between consciousness and unconsciousness. Never aware of which with the nightmares continuing as she wakes, the images flashing through her mind. She can't get any rest.

She does not know how long it has been but when she has one moment of clarity she looks out of her window and can see that it is dark. A crowd has gathered outside Arthur's window holding candles.

——

Anne's POV

Merlin arrives back in Camelot a couple of days later. Anne finds out when Gaius and Merlin both enter Arthur's Chambers, where she is caring for him, carrying a decorative canteen.

They only briefly glance at her before they begin giving Arthur the water. Anne realises that Merlin has found a cure but she wonders at what cost.

Uther then enters. "What are you doing, Physician? What are you giving him?"

"It's a... It's a tincture made from the lobelia plant, an ancient remedy for poisonous bites." Gaius supplies but Anne knows that it is likely not the true story.

"A cure?"

"We hope."

"Do you really think it will have some effect?" Uther asks.

"It's our last resort, Sire. Perhaps you should allow him to rest." Gaius suggests.

"I will not leave him." Anne follows Gaius and Merlin as they exit, chewing her lip nervously. Uther sits by Arthur's bedside.

Anne walks with Gaius and Merlin down the Red Ribbon Corridor when suddenly Merlin is grabbed by the arm and pulled into an alcove. This causes Anne to turn around and she sees it was Amelia who still looks like she has not properly slept in days and her blue eyes are glazed over as if she's in a trance.

"Please, Merlin, you must beware. This is only the beginning." Merlin pulls away and continues down the corridor. Amelia, however, had barely reacted to Merlin pulling away from her and instead stands there for a few moments before walking away. Anne walks with her in concern. Her words form a pit in Anne's stomach.

——

Amelia's POV

Arthur wakes that night and while she is pleased that he is not going to die, Amelia knows that this is only the beginning. Merlin believes that he has sacrificed himself for Arthur but he does not truly know the cost of what he has done.

She knows that Anne and Morgana are concerned about her but Amelia can't bring herself to care.

There is a thunderstorm that night which does not help her sleep. In fact, it seems to make her dreams worse. She can't tell what is occurring as the images came in too quick of a succession.

She then sees a figure entering Camelot on foot. A trembling diseased hand opens the door to the Gaius' Chambers. This causes her to bolt awake screaming.

Morning comes and Amelia learns from Anne and then Morgana that Merlin's mother had arrived last night and is deathly ill. Amelia knows that this is a consequence of Merlin's bargain.

She perceives that she should leave her Chambers to go comfort Merlin or talk him out of doing anything stupid but she can't bring herself to leave the room. The terror state she has been experiencing seems to prevent her from doing so. She understands that Anne will look after him.

——

Anne's POV

Her and Merlin immediately rush to the Dragon's Cave after learning that it is Merlin's mother that is to be sacrificed.

"You knew this would happen! You had me trade my mother's life for Arthur's!" Merlin yells as soon as they step onto the platform.

"You said you would do anything." This makes Anne feel even angrier than she already is. How can he be so careless?

"Did you know his mother would die?" Anne asks through clenched teeth.

"I knew the price would be a heavy one." Again he did not seem to care.

"But you sent me anyway." Merlin accuses.

"We need Arthur to live."

"I'm not one of you!" Merlin yells.

"Neither am I!" Anne glares at the Dragon. What is the point if they just let their own family die for the sake of this destiny?

"We are creatures of the Old Religion. It is the source of your power." The Dragon says.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Merlin asks. He looks at Anne as if she could explain but she shrugs. She had grown up with no one telling her anything.

"Your destiny is to protect the young Pendragon until he claims his crown, and when he does, magic can be returned to the realm. Only then will I be free." Anne now realises how selfish he is.

This angers Merlin as well. "Oh. So that's all you cared about? I thought you were my friend."

"I am more than that, Merlin. I am your kin." Despite the many times she had told Amelia off for wanting to commit violence, Anne really wants to hit him. How does this excuse what he has done?

"No. The only family I have is my mother, and you had me murder her."

"Her life has not been taken in vain. We will achieve great things together, you and I."

"You will never be released, for what you've done! I'll make sure you never see the light." Merlin says, beginning to turn away.

"Merlin!" The Dragon cries and breathes fire at him.

"Gescildan!" Anne cries and blocks the flames.

"You won't see us again," Anne says as her and Merlin leave the Cave with the Dragon yelling after them.

——

Anne bursts into Amelia's Chambers making said woman jump.

"Anne?" She asks but Anne ignores her and begins pacing angrily. She is only stopped when Amelia stands and grabs her by the shoulders. "Anne!"

"Sorry." She mutters. "It's just the Dragon. I could never imagine someone would be so selfish! He let Merlin sacrifice his own mother just so he could be free!" Her voice raises as she continues to rant.

She looks up and sees the frown on Amelia's face. "Sorry," Anne says, "I know you care about him."

"Don't," Amelia says, "I always knew he seemed to have some ulterior motive." Yet Anne cannot help but feel bad for her.

"Still. You have been speaking to him since you were eight. He was your friend. There would be an attachment there." Anne reminds her.

"I know," Amelia sighs tiredly, "but there it is. He has too much anger and resentment to think of others."

Anne stays silent but then her eyes widen in horror when she realises something. "Oh no!"

"What?" Amelia asks.

"Merlin is going to try to sacrifice himself again to save his mother. That was probably the initial cost, a life. It is why his mother is dying, it is so that Arthur can live. Merlin will offer himself again. Is it selfish of me to hope that someone else will die?"

"No," Amelia says. "It makes you human."

"But now he definitely will try again and it might happen!" Anne then turns and rushes to Gaius' Chambers, hoping to catch Merlin.

——

Anne catches up to Merlin in one of the corridors. He seems to be heading towards Arthur's Chambers from Gaius'. She realises he must be doing his rounds of goodbyes.

"Merlin!" She cries colliding with him.

He makes a startled noise as he catches her, gripping her shoulders. "Anne?"

"I know what you are going to do Merlin! You cannot do this! I need you!" She pauses realising what she just said. "Camelot needs you!"

"I have to save her." He says sadly. "If the balance of the world needs a life, then Nimueh must take mine."

"What about Camelot?" Anne asks. "Your destiny."

"What is the point if my mother needs to die to fulfil it?"

Anne reaches forward and hugs him. She notices she is crying when a wet patch forms on Merlin's shoulder. "Goodbye then." She pulls back and kisses him on the cheek. He looks at her in surprise and nods clearing his throat awkwardly. His cheeks seem red. Anne realises how close they are and quickly pulls away and flashes him an awkward smile.

"I'll tell Amelia your goodbyes. Make things less difficult. She will not let you go if you go to see her." Anne says, trying to clear the air.

Merlin nods before continuing on his way. Anne then realises how warm her cheeks are meaning that she is blushing. She walks to Amelia's Chambers hoping it will go away. She wonders why her heart is also hammering in her chest.

——

Amelia's POV

She is sitting in her Chambers with Anne the next day, waiting anxiously to find out what has happened at the Isle of the Blessed. Anne paces while Amelia sits on her bed staring in the distance.

Suddenly her door bursts open and Merlin appears.

"Oh Merlin," Anne says awkwardly, Amelia wonders why. "I thought you would be leaving straight away." Anne flicks her eyes in Amelia's direction.

Merlin ignores her and raises his hand, which Amelia now notices, holds a piece of paper. "Gaius is sacrificing himself! We have to stop him."

Amelia grabs it and reads what it says.

Dear Merlin, My life is already near to its end. There has, for the most part, been very little purpose to it, very little that will be remembered. In contrast, Merlin, your life is destined for greatness. Live by the tenets I have taught you, and I believe you will, in time, become the greatest Warlock ever. To have known you has been my greatest pleasure, and to sacrifice myself for you is but an honour. You are and always will be the son I never had.

"We must do something." She says, looking up at the other two people in her Chambers.

"Right. Amelia, you stay—" Anne begins but Amelia stops her.

"No, I'm coming to. I have spent enough time sitting in my room in fear." 

Anne and Merlin seem to accept this though still look unsure. Amelia knows she looks like she is in a right state. She won't be surprised if her blue eyes have bags underneath them and her brown hair is like a bird's nest.

——

They travel to the island, that sits in the middle of a misty lake. They get on a boat that floats into what appears to be a ruin. Once they get to the edge and get off, Amelia registers that she can hear chanting.

"Ic, séo héahsácerd, þe ácwile strengþe ealdan æwfæstnesse!"

"Stop!" Merlin cries once they enter they enter what seems to have once been a courtyard with Nimueh standing in the middle. She stands by a stone table and Gaius is slumped at her feet.

"Back again so soon, Warlock?" Nimueh asks, smirking as if she has no care in the world. "And you have brought friends?"

"Gaius?" Anne calls in worry.

"What have you done?" Merlin demands.

"Your mother is safe. Isn't that what you wanted?" Nimueh asks.

"But is Gaius dead?" Amelia asks. "Have you killed him?" She tries to look around Nimueh to see if Gaius is truly dead. This cannot be the end of Gaius, surely?

"It was his wish," Nimueh says, again with the careless attitude.

"How dare you! You have killed him!" Anne yells.

"I bid my life for Arthur's, not my mother's, not Gaius'!" Merlin's voice raises in volume the longer he speaks.

Nimueh meets his volume. "The Old Religion does not care who lives and who dies! Only that the balance of the world is restored. To save a life, a life must be taken." Her voice then lowers. "Gaius knew this."

Amelia can't take seeing Nimueh act like she's in the right any longer. "Do not act as if you are innocent. It is not the Old Religion that has done this. You were the one who made it happen!" Amelia cries out.

Nimueh looks at her in surprise but recovers quickly and again smirks at all of them. "Come now. We are all too valuable to each other to be enemies."

"No! We share nothing with you!" Merlin yells.

"With my help, Arthur will become King." And her previous actions had helped?!

"I will make Arthur King. But you will never see that day." Merlin says ominously before sticking his hand out in Nimueh's direction. "Ástríce!"

Before the bolt of light and fire could hit her, Nimueh sticks up her hand and uses the back of it to absorb his attack. Oh god, what are they going to do now?

"Your childish tricks are useless against me, Merlin. I am a Priestess of the Old Religion." As she speaks, Nimueh uses the same hand that had absorbed Merlin's attack to begin circling it to build up a ball of flames before chanting, "Forbærne!" And sending it flying in their direction. Before it can hit them, Amelia, Anne and Merlin are able to duck out of the way and it hits the wall behind them. Amelia gasps in pain from the motion of landing hard on the floor despite it being grass. Well, this is going to be more difficult than she thought.

They all stand as Nimueh walks over to them with another fireball in her hand. "You, too, are a creature of the Old Religion. You should join me." While Nimueh is entirely focused on Merlin, Amelia feels herself being pulled and grasps that it is Anne pulling her behind some stone that sticks out in the middle of the courtyard.

"Stay here," Anne whispers before going back to where the conversation had continued in the meantime. Amelia does as she is told. Anne and Merlin are the ones with the power to stop Nimueh.

Merlin had clearly given Nimueh an answer she's not happy with as Nimueh then says, "So be it. Ácwele!" The fireball in her hand surges forward and hits Merlin directly in the chest knocking him down. Smoke emanates from his chest. Anne rushes forward about to chant her own spell but Nimueh simply flicks her hand to the side and Anne is thrown into the stone, that Amelia stands behind, knocking her out. Amelia darts forward to her side. Thankfully there seems to be no mortal injuries only those that will give Anne a concussion.

"Pity." Amelia looks up and sees that Nimueh is standing over Merlin who is still on the floor. Amelia frowns in worry. "Together we could've ruled the world." Nimueh walks away. Merlin then, thankfully, gets up and glares at her.

"You should not have killed my friend." He says causing Nimueh to turn and look at him. He looks up raising his hand to the sky. The clouds start to form together and begin to rumble. Merlin then uses the power from the clouds to strike Nimueh down with a bolt of lightning. There is a crack and a flash of light when it hits her. Amelia quickly looks away as the light becomes too bright, she hears a screech and when she looks back there's nothing left when it clears.

Merlin rushes towards Gaius. "Gaius! Gaius!" He cradles an unconscious Gaius.

Amelia then hears coughing and looks down to see Anne coming round. "Anne!" She cries in relief and hugs her. She hears a rumble and the sky begins to pour down rain.

"Oh hello, what did I miss?" Anne mumbles.

"Nimueh is gone but we need to go to Gaius," Amelia tells her, skipping to the point. Anne looks past her, in the direction of Merlin and Gaius. She stands up, stumbling slightly. Amelia puts an arm out to catch in case she falls and when she does not, they both hurry towards the stone table.

"Gaius?! Gaius?!" Amelia cries, launching herself to the floor in front of Gaius. Anne crouches next to her.

"No! No!" Merlin shouts crying. Amelia bends her head down, she swore that he was supposed to live longer than this but maybe her notes are wrong and that things have changed.

When she begins to think he is truly dead, she hears a voice, "Merlin."

Amelia looks up and sees that Gaius is coming round.

"Gaius. Gaius. Gaius, you're alive!" Merlin cries but this time with happiness. Amelia feels herself being pulled into a hug by Anne as she laughs in relief.

"What did you do?" Gaius asks wearily.

"Nimueh's dead," Amelia says.

"Meaning that Merlin has restored the balance of the world," Anne says.

"Merlin you amaze me." Gaius splutters. "You've mastered the power of life and death itself. We'll make a great Warlock of you yet."

"So you believe in me now?" Merlin asks with a smile on his face.

"Well, I would do if...if you could stop this blasted rain." This causes all of them to begin laughing this time. Amelia can't tell if the liquid running down her face is tears or rain but she does not care, not when Gaius is alright.

Eventually, they are able to get Gaius up and they leave the Isle of the Blessed as the sky begins to clear.

Amelia can't help but smile in relief. She and the others have gotten through the first season. She feels herself relax. However, once they reach Camelot, her relief is soon over when she recalls, not only of what she remembered of the legends but also her notes, that this is not over and there is worse to come. That just because they have gotten over this hurdle doesn't mean they are done.

——

A/N: Please leave comments on how you're enjoying this story and what you think.

Merlin will return.

[bowen80]

The only surviving eyewitness account of the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius was written by Roman senator and writer Gaius Plinius Caecilius Secundus, more commonly known as Pliny the Younger. He was seventeen years old in 79 AD and watched the terrible event unfold from the home of his uncle in Misenum, (modern day Miseno, across the Bay of Naples.

English translation of Pliny’s account:

"Meanwhile, my mother and I had stayed at Misenum. After my uncle left us, I studied, dined, and went to bed, but I slept only fitfully. We had earth tremors for several days, which were not especially alarming because they happen so often in Campania. But that night they were so violent that everything felt as if it were being shaken and turned over. My mother came hurrying to my room, and we sat together in the forecourt facing the sea.

By six o'clock, the dawn light was still only dim. The buildings around were already tottering, and we would have been in danger in our confined space if our house had fallen down. This made us decide to leave town. We were followed by a panic-stricken crowd that chose to follow someone else's judgement rather than decide anything for themselves. We stopped once we were out of town, and then some extraordinary and alarming things happened. The carriages we had ordered began to lurch to and fro, although the ground was flat, and we could not keep them still even when we wedged their wheels with stones. Then we saw the sea sucked back, apparently by an earthquake, and many sea creatures were left stranded on the dry sand. From the other direction over the land, a dreadful black cloud was torn by gushing flames and great tongues of fire like much-magnified lightning.

The cloud sank down soon afterwards and covered the sea, hiding Capri and Capo Misenum from sight. My mother begged me to leave her and escape as best I could, but I took her hand and made her hurry along with me. Ash was already falling by now, but not very thickly. Then I turned around and saw a thick black cloud advancing over the land behind us like a flood. "Let us leave the road while we can still see", I said, "or we will be knocked down and trampled by the crowd". We had hardly sat down to rest when the darkness spread over us. But it was not the darkness of a moonless or cloudy night; it was just as if the lamps had been put out in a completely closed room.

We could hear women shrieking, children crying, and men shouting. Some were calling for their parents, their children, or their wives and trying to recognise them by their voices. Some people were so frightened of dying that they actually prayed for death. Many begged for the help of the gods, but even more imagined that there were no gods left and that the last eternal night had fallen on the world. There were also those who added to our real perils by inventing fictitious dangers. Some claimed that part of Misenum had collapsed or that another part was on fire. It was untrue, but they could always find somebody to believe them.

A glimmer of light returned, but we took this to be a warning of approaching fire rather than daylight. But the fires stayed some distance away. The darkness came back, and ash began to fall again, this time in heavier showers. We had to get up from time to time to shake it off, or we would have been crushed and buried under its weight. I could boast that I never expressed any fear at this time, but I was only kept going by the consolation that the whole world was perishing with me.

After a while, the darkness paled into smoke or cloud and the real daylight returned, but the sun shone as weakly as during an eclipse. We were amazed by what we saw because everything had changed and was buried deep in ash like snow. We went back to Misenum and spent an anxious night switching between hope and fear. Fear was uppermost because the earth tremors were still continuing and the hysterics kept on making their alarming forecasts.”

Source:

https://igppweb.ucsd.edu/~gabi/sio15/lectures/volcanoes/vesuvius.html

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

Merlin goes home for a little while, determined to enjoy a well-earned vacation;

Camelot immediately falls apart, with the sole exceptions of Guinevere and Gaius.

Merlin knows Arthur really well.

Which just means he knows exactly how to get him to let his servant go home for two weeks to visit his mother and relax a little:

“You just don’t want me to go because you know you can’t cope without me! Look, if you want to come with me, that’s fine, but you’ll struggle just as much there as you would here because I refuse to act as your servant in my own home.”

Arthur turns red, looking outraged as he loses the ability to speak. Merlin turns around before The King can see his satisfied smirk, tidying around the prat’s chambers with exaggerated annoyance as he just waits for the inevitable-

“Fine! Go! See if I even notice that you’re gone! Honestly, Merlin, the running of the Kingdom will probably end up going smoother without you here to mess things up, you bumbling idiot.”

Merlin grins to himself before schooling his face back into annoyance and turning around with a huff, crossing his arms petulantly:

“Fine!”

The servant decides that he’d better leave, what with the way he was struggling to keep the victorious grin from his face, so without waiting for a response, he “storms” from the room, slamming the door behind him as dramatically as he’s able when he hears Arthur yell:

“FINE!”

~

Merlin sets off at the beginning of the next week. Gaius had raised a disapproving eyebrow when his ward had told him how he’d gotten Arthur to agree to such a long vacation, but didn’t say anything. They both knew that the elderly physician thought it was funny.

Gwen and Morgana make sure to see him out of the castle gates with big hugs, and whilst all of the knights were meant to be training, it came as no surprise to anyone when Gwaine slacks off for half a candle-mark to say goodbye as well. Mordred shoots him a quick goodbye across their mental link as the servant walks away from the city, after promising Merlin that he would warn him if anyone was in any serious danger (”Serious danger only, Mordred, I mean it. If I get called home because Arthur is throwing some sort of tantrum, then I’ll act out your destiny for you.”).

Merlin’s journey goes smoothly. The world was hovering in the junction between Spring and Summer, but with a little magical manipulation, the Warlock had no trouble staying warm and keeping his feet beneath him on the uneven path. Unsurprisingly, the young man is a lot less clumsy when he doesn’t have to focus on keeping his magic locked away so tightly.

Two days after his departure from Camelot, his mother is greeting him outside her little house with a long hug and a wide grin, stroking a hand through his hair as she welcomes him home.

Coincidentally, that’s also about the time things started going to shit for everyone else.

~

It was just after noon when Elyan had to be carried to Gaius’ chambers, his whole body juddering as he struggles to draw breath, the lack of oxygen from his throat closing up mixed with the panic making his brain go fuzzy.

Percival holds him up from one side and Leon holds him from the other, the two of them bursting through the physician’s door just as Elyan’s eyes roll back in his head. Gaius looks up suddenly, obviously startled by the abrupt intrusion, but he swiftly focuses, eyes wide and assessing as he quickly points them to a patient pallet:

“What happened?”

The two knights lay him down as carefully as they can before standing out of the way as Leon forces out an answer, trying to catch his breath between words:

“I don’t know, servants brought lunch out whilst we were training so we stopped to eat and he just started... wheezing. We thought he was choking at first but he said he couldn’t breathe. Has... has he been poisoned? We stopped everyone from eating.”

Gaius had gathered a handful of odd looking dried leaves the moment Leon mentioned the food, recognising the symptoms of an allergic reaction and putting two and two together immediately. He crushes them in his hands quickly, knowing he didn’t have time for a proper mortar and pestle as he shoves the crumbs into Elyan’s mouth, following through with a vile of something green and gross-smelling

He massages the odd concoction down Elyan’s throat as best he can around the swelling, and lets out a relieved smile when the knight’s eyes blow wide open and he chokes slightly before swallowing it all, grimacing at the taste but breathing deeply as his airways open again.

Leon and Percival let out similar breathes of relief when Elyan begins breathing again, chuckling breathlessly at his disgusted groan. The door bursts open again before anyone can say anything, and Arthur strides in, his flushed cheeks and rumpled clothes implying he had sprinted across the castle in his panic.

He spots Elyan on the pallet, his deep breaths interspersed with the odd cough, and his eyes widen even further as he looks to Gaius for an explanation:

“A servant told me something was wrong, what happened?!”

The King loses a little of the tension in his shoulders when Elyan waves a thumbs-up in his vague direction, but still looks frantically between the two knights and the physician as he waits for an answer. Percival wordlessly moves to Elyan’s side, running a hand up and down the man’s arm as Leon looks to Gaius expectantly:

“He had an allergic reaction, likely to nuts in the food. He should be fine, but he needs a day or two of rest, and to come back to me immediately if his throat swells again.”

Arthur sags in relief, nodding his approval of Elyan’s needed bedrest, but Leon’s eyes go wide as he lets out a knowing noise:

“Of course! I forgot about his allergy, it hasn’t been an issue since we were kids.”

Gaius nods knowingly and begins reorganising the jars he had knocked over when the knights had startled him:

“Hmm. I imagine he watched what he ate carefully when he was travelling, but Merlin keeps an eye on all of your food now.”

Leon frowns slightly as he tilts his head in confusion, but Arthur beats him to the punch, asking incredulously:

“What do you mean, Merlin keeps an eye on our food?”

Gaius raises an eyebrow, holding in his smirk as he slowly replies:

“Well, Merlin is usually the one to bring food out to you when you train, is he not? And on days he can’t he always speaks with the kitchen staff to double check what food is going where. Sir Elyan is not the only one with an allergy, My Lord. Merlin always makes sure any food the seven of you are given is safe. He has a tendency to check the Lady Morgana’s meals as well, whenever he’s able.”

Arthur is too taken aback to reply, his mouth hanging open, but that is when Percival looks up from his place at Elyan’s side, a confused frown on his face:

“Why?”

Gaius doesn’t manage to hold his smile in at that, looking between the three knights, and Elyan, who has just about managed to regain his breath:

“To avoid situations like this, I imagine, and to check for poison. It’s not uncommon for assassins to try and lace the royal’s food with something or other.”

Arthur finally shuts his mouth, only to open it again, speaking slowly:

“So... Merlin checks all of our food?”

Gaius nods:

“Religiously, Sire.”

Leon and Percival just shrug, adding it to their list of Weird Things About Merlin That They Should Be Grateful For, and Elyan smiles goofily from his place on the bed (whether it was the lack of oxygen or something funky in the vial, the knight didn’t know, but he was definitely still feeling a little... odd), but Arthur just frowns deeper, muttering a distracted “Take it easy.” to Elyan before walking stiffly from the room.

The King makes quick work of the journey back to the council meeting, desperately trying to persuade himself that this was nothing to do with him not being able to cope without Merlin. Elyan was the one not coping, clearly. Merlin was still wrong and stupid and Arthur hadn’t even noticed that he was gone until Gaius brought him up (a lie, he missed him terribly, but shhh).

Leon and Percival look to Gaius in confusion when Arthur had almost stormed from the room, and the Physician simply smiles again, the amusement shining clearly in his eyes:

“Merlin persuaded Arthur to let him take a holiday by heavily implying that he couldn’t cope with Merlin’s absence.”

Percival snorts with laughter and Leon raises an eyebrow as he grins:

“Arthur took that as a challenge then, I suppose? Two days in and we’ve already got The King sprinting from meetings because a knight has collapsed from an allergic reaction... because Merlin wasn’t here...”

Gaius just nods, and Percival mutters an amused:

“This will be entertaining.”

~

Arthur steadfastly refuses to acknowledge that the next mini disaster, a few days later, was also down to Merlin’s absence.

Ok, so maybe it was because Merlin wasn’t here, but ultimately, it was Gwaine that messed up, not Arthur. So it didn’t count.

The knight came back from a night patrol that he’d taken with The King with an infected gash on his arm. Arthur grins teasingly as he describes to Gaius how the knight had tripped on a loose cobblestone and scratched his arm on the sharp edge of a stray cart at the beginning of the patrol, and Gaius hums disapprovingly as he unwraps the scrap of fabric Gwaine had used as a bandage:

“Did you not have any medical supplies in your pack? Or did you think it best to let it get infected so I had to wake an hour before dawn to deal with it?”

Gwaine swings his dangling legs back and forth from where he sits on Gaius’ table, pouting sheepishly as he admits:

“I looked, but there wasn’t anything helpful in there, usually the armoury-hands have them stocked up for the patrols, I guess they missed mine.”

Arthur rolls his eyes at Gwaine’s seeming ineptitude, but his scolding is interrupted before it even begins when Gaius shakes his head in disagreement:

“Hmm. The servants that work in the armoury only tend to check the packs every few weeks, and even then they only check if they need any repairs. Merlin is the one with easier access to patrol rotas, so he’s the one who stocks them up on a day to day basis.”

Gwaine just nods in understanding, as if he should’ve expected that, but Arthur’s smile drops as he unfolds his arms, getting over his annoyed speechlessness in a matter of seconds:

“You’re telling me that Merlin, my personal manservant, is responsible for all the knights’ patrol packs?”

Gaius finishes cleaning Gwaine’s wound, muttering a quiet apology when the knight hisses at the first poke of the needle, speaking slowly as he focuses on making sure the stitches were neat and uniform:

“No, Sire. Technically the knights are meant to take care of their own packs, but Merlin is a paranoid man, he likes to double check things to make sure everyone has what they need. I suppose some people got used to having it done for them.”

Gwaine winces abashedly, making a mental note to remind the others to check their packs before their next patrols, but Arthur rolls his eyes, crossing his arms again and immediately accepting that this little incident was therefore Gwaine’s fault, and not down to Merlin's absence.

The voice in his head sounded a little doubtful, but he ignores it, choosing instead to chide his rebellious:

“Do try to pay attention to your own responsibilities, Sir Gwaine, I’d hate to see something terrible happen to you because you’re unable to complete your own simple tasks.”

Gwaine just sticks his tongue out petulantly, looking away from The King before he can see the blonde’s rolled eyes. Arthur huffs at his childishness, turning around to cover his grin and speaking over his shoulder as he walks from the room:

“You will be on time for once, Gwaine, training starts in a few hours and I want to see you bright and early.”

Gwaine just smirks, waiting for the door to shut behind Arthur before moving his sly, curious eyes to the physician in front of him:

“He’s missing Merlin, then?”

Gaius just gives him a knowing glance before looking back down at the now stitched gash, gathering bandages:

“I’d imagine so, though he’d never admit it. Merlin implied that Arthur wouldn’t cope with his absence,-”

Gwaine interrupts him with a laugh:

“Hence his insistence that it was entirely my fault?”

Gaius nods wordlessly, and Gwaine snorts, shaking his head in amused disbelief.

Meanwhile, Arthur stalks back towards his chambers, eager to get out of his armour and get into bed; Gwaine had training in a few hours, but so did he, and he needed at least a little sleep. He purses his lips in annoyance as his gaze falls upon the clinical cleanliness of his room... George had been in then. 

Look... Arthur being used to a slightly messy room did NOT mean he depended on Merlin. And Gwaine not being used to having to actually organise himself ALSO didn’t mean that Merlin was... ok. Maybe Gwaine relies on Merlin a little.

So that’s Sir Elyan and Sir Gwaine, two of The King’s most trusted knights, who can’t cope without Merlin. But Arthur is doing just fine. It’s been half a week and he is just. Fine.

Just fine.

~

It was the next day that things began going wrong a little more... drastically.

George wakes Arthur up for training on time because of course he does. Arthur had found himself losing out on a lot of sleep without Merlin insisting he go to bed at a reasonable time, and waking him up late; Merlin had gotten into the habit of snatching Arthur’s paperwork away and holding it out of reach until The King agreed to go to sleep, and somehow manages to fit Arthur’s entire morning routine into half a candle-mark. George would never snatch away Arthur’s paperwork, and he takes so much longer in the mornings meaning Arthur has to wake up earlier.

Not that Arthur would ever admit to enjoying his and Merlin’s unorthodox routines. 

Eight more days to go, and he’s fine.

At least... that’s what he thought until a nameless guard approaches the training field, waving him over from his spar with Mordred. Arthur strides over quickly, annoyed at the interruption and nodding at the guard to speak as he drinks from his water-skin:

“My Lord, Lord Halbert and Lady Ethel have arrived. I believe they’re waiting for your presence in the courtyard.”

Arthur chokes, managing to turn his head to the side just in time before he spits a mouthful of water over the guards face. He quickly wipes his mouth and turns back to the pour armoured man with wide eyes:

“That’s today?!

The guard nods hesitatingly:

“Yes, Sire, would you like me-”

He’s interrupted when Arthur shouts a hurried:

“Fuck!” as he drops his water-skin and begins sprinting up the field towards the castle, desperately trying to calculate if he had enough time to wash and change before they got antsy with waiting. Probably not.

Seeing Arthur’s panic and hearing his loud curse, Leon hurriedly approaches the guard, putting a friendly hand on his shoulder as he speaks with a frown:

“Gavin? Is everything alright?”

The guard, Gavin, looks to Leon with a confused frown:

“It would appear that His Majesty... misremembered the date of Lord Halbert and Lady Ethel’s arrival.”

Leon’s eyes go wide and he glances quickly to the castle as he rushes out an exclamation identical to Arthur’s:

“That’s today?!”

Gavin just nods again, and Leon drops the hand from his shoulder, letting out a loud:

“Shit!” as he recreates Arthur’s sprint up to the castle, knowing that he was expected to be at The King’s side when welcoming guests. He doesn’t pause, even when he shouts:

“Lancelot’s in charge!” over his shoulder.

The knights all look to each other in amusement, but Lancelot quickly takes charge, running drills as if he had been doing it his entire life and trusting that, whatever it was, Arthur could get things sorted. And if Arthur couldn’t get things sorted, then Leon would get things sorted. And if Leon couldn’t get things sorted, then Merlin would... oh.

He glances worriedly to the castle just as Leon falls through the door, not bothering to shut it behind him in his panic. Oh.

Arthur lets out the deepest breath of relief he thinks he’s ever experienced when he sees George ahead of him in the corridor; he gestures him over hastily, making the servant jog to keep up with him as he continues his fast pace down the hall:

“I don’t care how many other servants you have to pull from their duties, but I need the castle prepped for Halbert and Ethel’s arrival right now.-”

Arthur barely pays attention to George’s faltering step of shock, just stops suddenly in front of the door that leads down to the courtyard, turning to the servant and putting both hands on his shoulder as he stares at him intensely, face flushed and breathing harsh:

“I need you to do this for me, George. Prepare guest chambers, send someone down to show them to the right rooms, and make sure the Kitchens know they’re feeding two extra nobles for three days, starting today. If you can organise all of that in the next two minutes, I’ll give you a raise and a Godamn hug, you hear me?!”

George gulps, his shoulders tense, his face pale, and his breath frozen in his lungs as he meets Arthur’s frantic gaze with wide eyes. He gives a shaky nod, instantly turning and sprinting down the corridor without a word when Arthur lets go. 

Leon skids around the corner, moving to stand next to Arthur with his hands on his knees as he attempts to catch his breath, speaking in a slight wheeze:

“I... I left Lance... in charge.”

Arthur nods in approval, pulling Leon to stand before holding his hands out to the side, presenting himself for inspection. Leon takes one last deep breath, smoothing the training tunic over Arthur’s shoulders, attempting to rub the dirt from his nose, and brushing a quick hand through his hair before stepping back and holding his own arms out. Arthur pulls a leaf from behind his ear, but is otherwise satisfied, and the two of them turn to the door, schooling their faces and stepping down into the courtyard.

Arthur has a calm, welcoming smile on his face, and Leon stands stiffly behind him, hand on the sword that he luckily had on his hip as he stares blankly ahead.

The nobles seem taken aback at The King's state of undress, but don’t say anything, covering their shock quickly. Arthur’s hoping that his friendly attitude will just give the impression that he’s...approachable and slightly laid back, as opposed to just an idiot who forgot they were coming because no one had reminded him.

Gods. Merlin can never know about this.

~

Thankfully, the next three days went smoothly, or at least as smoothly as possible after Arthur spent an hour rifling through his old mail to try and figure out the original reason for Lord Halbert and Lady Ethel’s visit (watching their eldest’s knighting ceremony, and discussing with Arthur the potential for their youngest to move to the city to become a squire).

He waves them off in a much more regal manner than he had welcomed them, and keeps his promise to George, upping his pay slightly; though he exchanges the hug for an awkward pat on the shoulder, which he thinks both of them were grateful for.

~

He’d successfully made it through nine days. Semi-successfully. He’d just about made it through nine days.

Five more to go. But Arthur was feeling fine about those five days. He’d double checked all his mail, and made sure to find out when his patrols were scheduled.

Which is... unknown to Arthur, where the next problem stems from. 

Arthur wasn’t the one to rota the patrols, he really didn’t have the time to sit down with a list of names and hours and times and maps and organise everything fairly, it was difficult and time-consuming, but he made sure that Leon knew exactly how many hours he could give up for patrol each week.

Apparently, the communication between Leon and the council was normally handled by Merlin, who wasn’t there. So whilst Arthur was enjoying a solo patrol along the city borders at noon, waving at citizens and making his horse do tricks for giggling children, the council were sitting around the table, waiting rather irately for his arrival.

Now normally, this could’ve been easily dealt with, but when the same guard from three days ago gallops over to inform him of the problem and take over his patrol, Arthur was reminded rather suddenly that Merlin was always the one that came up with sensible sounding excuses.

(He also makes a mental note to avoid that guard forever out of embarrassment.)

This was one of the very rare occasions when Arthur simply glares the council into submission. Normally he likes to work with them; he hates to feel like they're just doing what he wants because they were kissing his arse, but he has no excuse other than “I forgot.” and he felt like that was worse than just.. acting like a bit of a dick for five minutes.

So... yeah. Merlin wasn’t there to reorganise the council meeting around Arthur’s patrol, and then also wasn’t there to come up with an excuse for why it wasn’t reorganised.

Arthur makes it ten days before he admits to himself that perhaps he relies on his manservant just a little too much.

~

Four days later, Arthur had missed another council meeting (despite his best efforts), Lancelot and Mordred had accidentally insulted some visiting Lord (and had therefore been told not to leave their rooms until he had vacated the city), and Gwen was no longer speaking to him, on account of The King being a dick without realising because Merlin wasn’t there to rein in his ego and... well... dickishness. That, and his crown had somehow gone missing between yesterday morning and now.

(If that last one had happened even a week prior, Arthur would’ve been adamant that it had been stolen or something else equally not-his-fault, but with how quickly he’d been made aware of his apparent bad memory and social clumsiness, he had every faith that he’d just misplaced it, and Merlin would know exactly where to look.)

Arthur was sitting on the courtyard steps, tunic unlaced at the top and hair a mess when his servant finally, finally walks through the castle gates. The King perks up slightly, but refuses to give Merlin the satisfaction of being run to, so forces himself to remain in place. He was especially glad that he’d made that decision when he saw Guinevere spring over to greet him. He has a feeling she won’t be all that... welcoming, at least not yet.

Merlin wraps her in a tight hug and Arthur forces down the swell of jealousy in his lungs, especially when he laughs brightly and pulls back to clasp her shoulders. Arthur sees Gwen’s face fall at a question Merlin had asked and he gulps, biting his lip when Merlin frowns and raises an incredulous eyebrow at her response. She points in Arthur’s direction, and The King’s eyes go wide as he rapidly stands, failing miserably at looking as though he weren’t staring in their direction. Guinevere rolls her eyes before giving Merlin one last hug and walking very deliberately in the opposite direction to Arthur.

Merlin marches towards him, slight annoyance mixing with a secret eagerness to check on Arthur speeding up his normal pace significantly. Before the servant can say anything, Arthur grabs his wrist, pulling him up the steps and through the castle without a word, tugging harshly every time Merlin opens his mouth to demand an explanation for himself or an apology for Gwen.

When they finally reach his chambers, Arthur quickly locks the door behind him, whirling on an angry Merlin with flushed cheeks and a desperate look in his eyes:

“I swear Merlin, I will never doubt you again, but Elyan almost died, Gwaine got an infection, Leon and I forgot about Ethel and Halbert, Lancelot and Mordred are essentially under house arrest, I missed two council meetings, lost my crown, and now Gwen’s not talking to me. You’re never allowed to leave me again.”

Merlin freezes in place, staring at Arthur with wide eyes and an open mouth for a few moments before he bursts into laugher. Arthur huffs, crossing his arms as his blush deepens, but waits patiently instead of demanding that Merlin stop. Honestly? He may have been laughing at Arthur, but it was still the most beautiful sound The King had heard in two weeks, and he’d definitely missed it. Which is... something to think about at a later date.

Merlin finally relents, his dimples showing prominently as he holds in another round of giggles at Arthur’s red face. The servant drops his pack to the floor, stepping forward and not giving Arthur time to move away before he pulls him into a tight hug, sighing contentedly at the warm contact:

“I missed you too, you prat. You’ll just have to come with me next time and we can leave Gwen and Gaius in charge.”

Arthur huffs out a gentle laugh, finally wrapping his arms around Merlin’s middle tightly and burying his face in the slightly taller man’s hair:

“I did. Miss you, I mean. And I also mean it when I say you’re never going anywhere without me again, this has been a nightmare.”

Merlin snorts, tightening his grip on Arthur as if he were trying to squeeze all of the stress out of him:

“Co-dependency isn’t the healthiest thing in the world, you know.”

Arthur just huffs, refusing to let go as he petulantly responds:

“I don’t care. I’m The King, I can do what I want.”

Arthur can almost feel Merlin rolling his eyes, but the servant just laughs again and seems to nod in agreement:

“Hmm. That excuse is going to come back to haunt you one day. Heard you gave George a raise?”

The blonde tenses in embarrassment, now refusing to pull away so Merlin wouldn’t see his pink cheeks:

“Uh... yeah. He cleans too much and is shit at coming up with plausible excuses, but he did save my arse a few times.”

Arthur can feel Merlin’s laugh vibrate through his ribcage, and though the man was usually rather touch averse, he found he never wanted the feeling to stop. He found himself hoping that Merlin felt the same when The King chuckles at his response:

“Oh yeah? Does that mean I get a raise for being good at excuses and bad at cleaning?”

~

THE END!!! 

Literally wrote this in one day so... sorry if it’s bad😅

Had no clue how I was going to end it until I got there, my thought process essentially just went “Hugs? Yeah. Hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs.” :D

Same as always lads, you wanna write it out in full or remix it or whatever, go for it, just drop me a message and credit/tag me :)

[iamthemain-character]

could i please request a morgana x fem!reader where they are in a relationship and reader is taking care of morgana while she is sick and all morgana rlly wants is lots of cuddles? (basically lots of clingy morgana and fluff lmao) xx

thank you for requesting! i actually had covid when i started to write this so this was very soothing. <3 i hope you enjoy! :)

3 Sneezes, You’re Sick

morgana x reader

she/her pronouns

TW: morgana is sick but there’s not rlly much description

requested by @supmydudeswheresthedepresion (i love ur username lol)

“AchOO!”

Morgana groaned as another forceful sneeze passed through her nose. Her sinuses were killing her, and while her illness wasn’t life-threatening, it made her feel just terrible.

“I heard that, I think it’s time for some more medicine.” 

Morgana managed a weak smile as she watched her girlfriend walk through the door, blanket and herbs in hand. “Gaius sent me with a new brew that should help you get better.” 

Reluctantly Morgana took the medicine, her face scrunching up as the bitter liquid’s taste filled her mouth. “That is positively disgusting.” Her voice was hoarse, the words barely above a whisper. 

“I know, I know, but I’m so proud of you for taking it.” Y/n pressed a kiss to her girlfriend's forehead, her eyebrows furrowing as she felt how hot it was.  “You’re burning up! Here, let me rearrange the bedclothes.” 

Carefully Y/n moved the pillows, fluffing them up and arranging them to support Morgana’s back better. She also exchanged the heavy blanket for some lighter ones that would still keep Morgana warm if she got cold. 

“Thank you.” 

“Of course my love. Now, is there anything else you need?” 

“No, no, I’m okay.” 

Pressing one last kiss to Morgana’s forehead, Y/n turned to leave the room. Morgana threw out her hand and grasped the retreating woman’s wrist. “No, stay.” 

‘Morg, I have things I need to go do. I can’t just stay in here forever, no matter how much I’d like to.” 

Giving a little mock pout, Morgana tried to cute her way into keeping her girlfriend. “I’m the lady of the castle, so that means I can tell everyone else to do your chores.” 

Giving a little laugh, Y/n shook her head in disbelief. “You are not using your lady privileges to get me out of work.” 

Suddenly Morgana got very soft and her eyes lost a little bit of their joking. “Please Y/n, I just really need some cuddles right now.”

Y/n’s heart immediately softened, and she couldn’t find it within her to say no. “Okay, scooch over.” 

Happily Morgana moved over to let Y/n in on the bed. The couple quickly snuggled up together, and Y/n wrapped her arms tightly around her sick girlfriend. Morgana couldn’t help but smile as she relaxed into Y/n’s side, feeling perfectly content to be sick if it meant she could spend all of her time with the woman she loved. 

[ohanahoku-ao3]

Whumptober Day #1

@whumptober Here's my first entry for Whumptober! I hope you guys enjoy it! To anyone who's interested, you can find this story and the rest of my Whumptober prompts on Ao3 here!

The Essence of a Warlock's Being

     “Merlin, are you sure about this?” Gaius asked, watching as his ward brought the glass to his lips and hesitated.

     “I’m sure, Gaius.” The warlock answered, carefully keeping the waver out of his voice. He really wasn’t sure at all, but he had to know if he was truly back to himself. After Morgana and the Fomorroh… He needed to be sure that he wasn’t still being controlled. He needed to know that her spell hadn’t changed him somehow.

     He needed to know that her spell hadn’t worked because some part of him harbored resentment towards Arthur. The only way he could be sure was the brownish-green potion in his hand. It was meant to strip down one’s inhibitions and reveal their true inner self. It was meant to show what drove a person, what compelled them to act, and how they felt about things. It would expose Merlin’s very essence, which was precisely what he needed to be sure.

     The potion used to be used by royals on their knights as a way to sort the loyal from the treacherous. But it had been outlawed long ago by the druids, hundreds of years before the purge, seen as a horrendous practice that caused terrible suffering for the one forced to drink it.

     But Merlin felt that he had no choice. He had to ensure that he wasn’t tainted by the Fomorroh’s magic. So without another word, he downed the thick, bubbly liquid, the taste like that of honeyed dandelion greens, bitter and sweet in equal measures. It moved slowly down his throat, and he had to swallow repeatedly to feel like the substance had completely cleared his esophagus.

     A tense moment passed before Merlin’s shoulders started to relax. “Is that it?” He asked, looking into the emptied cup. “I don’t feel any different.”

     Gaius looked back at the book of magic lying on the table. “Are you sure you used the right amount of watercress?” He asked, skimming the page before glancing up when Merlin answered.

     “I’m sure I did that part right,” Merlin told him, brow furrowed, mouth turned down, and eyes glowing bright gold.

     “Merlin, your eyes,” Gaius whispered. “They’re glowing.”

     “What?” Merlin blinked and shook his head, but judging from the physician’s face, it didn’t accomplish anything.

     “What are you doing?”

     “I’m not doing anything!” Merlin said, rubbing at his eyes, clambering off the bench, finding a reflective surface in a silver tray he was supposed to polish. He stared at his own golden gaze, confused and concerned. He looked back at his mentor before something in his face changed, a sick look overcoming him as the color of his face drained away. “Gai-Agh!”

     Gaius watched helplessly as Merlin folded in half, arms wrapped around his stomach. His jaw was hanging open, but no more sound escaped as his face twisted in agony. The warlock’s eyes started glowing brighter, and the screaming started again in earnest as his body straightened up, rigid with tension. Anguished cries made it sound like the boy was being ripped apart.

     And ripped apart he was as the potion took effect, stripping down each and every layer of the boy’s soul, taking away everything that made him Merlin. Gone was the optimism and the humor, the mischief and the joy. Gone was his compassion and warmth, his love and kindness. Gone too were his anger and sadness, his grief and hate. Gone was Merlin himself as he was shaved down to nothing but a hollow mind and a hollow body that glowed molten gold.

     Yes, the warlock was stripped down to nothing more than the magic that Albion had pooled together and molded into human form. Standing in front of Gaius was not a man, not by any means of the word, and the physician nearly had to look away when the magic flared too bright. “Merlin!” He shouted as the golden glow began to pulse, sparks of energy flying off the effigy.

     “Merlin! You must stop this!” Gaius shouted, but it was of no use. Merlin was gone, and with him gone, so too was the leash that held onto the magic.

     Merlin’s body started to twitch and jerk wildly as the magic grew and grew, and Gaius was thrown back when an uncontrolled flick of Merlin’s fingers sent wind rushing towards him. He hit the door, pain lancing through his old, and thankfully unbroken, bones. Gaius watched as the room’s items swirled around, the wind picking them up and tossing them about. As he stared, he noticed with horrified eyes that cracks were beginning to form in the walls, and from outside the room, voices started to shout.

     The people outside started pounding on the door, yelling at Gaius to open up, and it had to have been the magic holding the door closed because his frail body wasn’t heavy enough to stop it from opening. He had to do something and do something fast before they managed enough force to break down the door.

     His eyes flitted over to a floorboard in the very corner of the room, his heart aching at the thought of using what lay beneath it. But no other option was available to him, so Gaius moved along the wall, painstakingly slow as he fought the wind and push of the magic. He knelt down when he finally reached the corner, wrinkled hands moving to grip into barely there divots discreetly carved into the stone wall, fingers curling under the wooden plank and pulling hard.

     The board came out so suddenly that if it weren’t for the wind pushing on his back, Gaius would have tumbled backward from it. And there, lying within the floor, was a simple silver cuff.

     He grabbed the enchanted bracelet, and taking a deep breath, he turned and did something he hadn’t done in years, raising his hand and calling out in spell. Gold flared in his wizened eyes, and a force shield rippled the air in front of him, protecting him from the wind and magic pulsing through the room.

     He moved across the floor, his body aching with the effort of holding the shield and moving through the wind that pushed against it. As he moved, he heard a sudden, gut-wrenching sound of bone snapping in two, and as he watched, Merlin’s arm bent in two between his elbow and wrist. The magic was too strong without its wielder, and the warlock’s body couldn’t withstand the unrestrained power. Fear leapt into Gaius’ throat as he realized that if he didn’t get the cuff on Merlin soon, the boy may die before the potion could finish running its course.

     He poured as much magic as possible into his shield, willing himself to move faster, gritting his teeth as another bone snapped, hoping it wasn’t located anywhere major. Finally, he reached Merlin, gripping his unbroken arm and shouting as the pure magic burned against his skin. With clumsy, struggling fingers, he managed to slip the cuff on.

     Immediately, everything stopped. The wind abated, tossing items to the floor, and the glow faded away to nothing. The cuff was containing the overflow, and with the power dissipating, Merlin’s body slumped against Gaius, who knelt down, cradling him close just as the door flew open. Arthur and Gwaine burst in, followed by a group of guards, and Gaius had to think quickly, pulling Merlin’s blue sleeve down over the silver bracelet.

     One hasty explanation about Morgana attacking Merlin later, and everyone rushed out to secure the castle, leaving only two men stationed outside in case the witch returned.

     The physician and his ward were left behind, and as he sat there on the floor, the old man bent his head, tears running like rivers down the age-carved canyons in his face. Merlin was held close to his chest, Gaius’ gentle hands cradling his broken arm.

     He needed to get up. He needed to bind Merlin’s arm. He needed to fix what he had allowed to happen. But instead, he sat there, quietly weeping as Merlin’s hollow body rested against him.

     “This wasn’t supposed to happen.” He whispered, letting his tears drip into Merlin’s hair. “I’m sorry, my boy. I should have never told you about that potion.” He shifted, looking down at Merlin’s face, tenderly laying a hand on his cheek. “Your mother sent you to me so I could protect you. But I have failed in so, so many ways, Merlin.” He whispered, taking a moment to compose himself, looking up at the ceiling. “I’m so sorry, my boy. I was supposed to protect you. I was supposed to keep you safe.” Gaius let his eyes close once more, his forehead coming down to rest against Merlin’s carefully. “This was never supposed to happen.”

     Gaius didn’t move from that position until Gwen came rushing in minutes later.

[morganas-destiny]

One thing I love most about the "You're not Merlin" scene from 'A servant of two masters' is the fact that it's basically a callback to Merlin and Morgana in 1x01. A royal getting completely naked behind the changing screen, talking to who they think is their servant but is actually their sibling's servant (or soon-to-be servant in Merlin's case and past servant in Gwen's case). And it just makes me think, you know, like what if Morgana had like Arthur walked out, naked, to look at Gwen, only to find Merlin standing there? The logical answer would likely be a lot of screaming, quick hiding and yelling for guards, especially since she didn't know him yet. But the much funnier option would be if she reacted the same way as Arthur. Just having her brain short circuit for a moment and then going "You're not Gwen". And Merlin being like "No. No, I'm not" (I was just gonna leave it at that but I had some time to spare and wrote a little OneShot to go with it lol. Enjoy.)

Why me, was all Merlin could think. Well, that and I should have knocked. He had almost been able to sneak out of the chambers of the Lady Morgana unnoticed, after trying to imitate her maid's voice and hiding behind a dress and whatnot to avoid being caught. But of course, of course, she had decided that she wanted to speak to her maid, and friend, face to face. She had walked out from behind the changing screen and locked eyes with Merlin. And as if that hadn't been bad enough, she had still not been dressed. The king's ward just walked out on him, completely nude. Merlin silently said goodbye to his life because surely, she would scream for the guards to take him to the dungeons and soon after to the chopping block because being caught in the same room as the naked ward of the king would surely cost him head. However, that wasn't what happened. She gave a surprised yelp and grabbed behind the screen, pulling out the gown she had taken off beforehand and pressing it against her body to cover the most important parts. She stared at him wide-eyed and in his quiet panic, all Merlin could do was stare back. A few second ticked by, in which neither said anything. Then Morgana narrowed her eyes. "You're not Gwen.", she stated the obvious. Merlin blinked a few times. "Errr... no. No, I- I just-" His thoughts raced, trying to figure out how to properly explain what exactly was going on. That he never meant to spy on her or get into this situation. His eyes fell on the sleeping draught he had brought and hastily went to pick it up, almost dropping it in the process. "I just came to deliver this. I- I'm new, I came to live with Gaius and- well." He interrupted himself, because he started to trip over his own words and also because he knew; every new word only made it seem more and more like a weak excuse. He could only hope and pray now that the Lady Morgana believed him and would let him go with a warning. "Oh.", she just said though. Oh? Merlin didn't know what to do with that. He gulped, placing the little bottle back on the wooden surface and averted his eyes. His cheeks were flushing more intensely with each passing second. He could feel Morgana's gaze on him. "Do you know where she is? Gwen, I mean.", she asked. Merlin dared to look up again, then slowly shook his head. "Hm.", Morgana only hummed in response. Merlin felt close to a mental breakdown. He wished the girl would just do something. Anything. Shout at him, tell him to get out, for god's sake, at this point, he'd even willingly let the guards take him to the dungeons. Even if he would hate to do that to Gaius. Though losing his head was almost a welcome idea, compared to the terrible uncertainty of this moment. Finally, after what felt like ages, the Lady Morgana opened her mouth again. "I would like to get dressed now." Merlin wanted to cry in relief. He could go. He could go and hopefully forget this incredibly awkward, embarrassing interaction. But no, he'd rejoiced to soon. "Are you familiar with fastenings?" He blinked in surprise and confusion, not realising what she wanted from him. He thought about it. Well, growing up with only a mother meant he had helped with a dress here and there at times. Though he doubted that the simple dresses of his mother were anything in comparison to the expensive, extravagant gowns of a princess. In his helplessness and under the scrutinizing eyes of the Lady Morgana, he only shrugged. "A little." Morgana nodded, as if to say good enough. "Wait there." Merlin's eyes widened and with rising panic, he watched as Morgana disappeared behind the changing screen again. The rustling of fabric indicated that she was putting on her other dress. Nervous sweat dampened the little hairs of Merlin's hairline. This couldn't possinly be really happening. "Alright, you can come.", her voice exclaimed from behind the screen. Merlin's heart near dropped into his pants but he didn't really know what else to do than listen. So, he walked over on wobbly knees and peeked behind the screen.

Upon seeing his cautious gaze, Morgana tilted her head. "Come on. My maid's obviously not here but you are. And considering you're fully dressed, you have an unfair advantage which I can't really allow." Feisty. Unusual for a girl of her standing but Merlin wasn't going to object. He just nodded and lifted his trembling hands to brush away some of her hair, which was even softer to the touch than it looked, and began to fiddle with the fastening. It took him twice as long as necessary and something definitely looked a bit off but he figured it would have to do and stepped back. Morgana shook her hair so that the long locks could freely flow down her body again. "Thank you.", she simply said, but a small smile danced around her lips. "Hm-mhm.", was all Merlin was able to get out. "My lady?" Both of them turned their heads to the door, through which Gwen had just entered, appearing to be rather confused at Merlin's presence. "Gwen!", Morgana greeted cheerily. Then she noticed the way her maid eyed Merlin. "Gwen, this is..." She trailed off, realising that she had never actually learned the name of the stranger who had shown up in her chambers. "Merlin.", he helped out. "But, uh, we know each other." He motioned between himself and Gwen. "Really?" Gwen nodded, hardly able to surpress a giggle. "We met while he was in the stocks." Morgana seemed bewildered for a moment, thinking that she had apparently allowed a criminal to help her with her dress. Gwen, who sensed her mistress's change of mood, quickly went to add: "He's the one who stood up to Arthur." Instantly, the other girl's face lit up again. "Oh, you are?" Merlin rubbed his neck, flustered. "Well..." "He's too humble. I saw it myself. It was very brave.", Gwen grinned, coming closer to the other two. Morgana looked at him with a smirk and a twinkle in her eye. "My, my, so Camelot's very own newest hero helped me with my fastening. I'm honored." The pink in Merlin's cheeks turned bright red. "I-", he croaked out. "I should probably go. Gaius- Gaius is probably waiting for me." Morgana laughed quietly. "You may go." He resisted the urge to exhale in relief and promptly marched towards the door with large steps. "Bye, Merlin.", Morgana's voice sounded one more time behind him. Despite his better instincts, he turned around once more and of course, ran into the doorframe. The two girls stiffled their laughter. Merlin let out a short, nervous chuckle and slipped out into the hallway. As soon as he was out, he allowed himself to breathe again. He wasn't sure how he'd managed to get out of that situation alive but he was glad he did. He just hoped he wouldn't have to step under the Lady Morgana's eyes again soon. Of course he didn't know yet that with his luck, he would earn an official job in the castle as Prince Arthur's manservant just a few hours later.

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

Why I don’t think Gwen and Morgana’s friendship was actually that great

Ok so

I think my issues with Morgwen post s2 are pretty understandable right?  Morgana kidnapping Gwen, hunting her through the woods, trying to get her burned alive, TORTURING AND ENSLAVING HER (although some people still manage to read that as cute and shippy???). It's all bad shit yes? But even before that, they did not really have the greatest friendship.

And the reason for that? Balance.

(Please don't take this as a 'why you should not ship Morgwen'. Ship what you like, this is just why I don’t. Also don’t get me wrong they’re really sweet at times and i definitely see it, it’s just not for me.)

Ok so Gwen is the best friend you could ever hope for. None of why their relationship kinda sucks is because of her. She is kind, generous, supportive, and does far more than what she is paid to do. And that’s where the problems start. 

She stays up with Morgana night after night with her nightmares, she is constantly doing emotional labour for her, and always keeps her own feelings to herself. Now of course friendships aren’t some sort of transactional agreement, but there needs to be some reciprocity. And Gwen never once goes to Morgana when she needs help, she always chooses to go to Merlin or Gaius and later Arthur. Morgana is never her choice to willingly confide in. She does not feel like she can talk to Morgana in the way Morgana can talk to her. 

And I think this is due not in small part to their difference in station, and the fact that at the end of the day Gwen is her servant. And I think Morgana likes to forget that as much as possible and call them friends (and it’s understandable! Because who has she got other than Gwen? Arthur, who she can barely exchange a civil word with? He’s a sibling, not a friend. But sis… your friend is hired), but Gwen never forgets.

Also! They never had fun! Merlin and Gwen were always fucking around and going on adventures and being silly with each other, but you barely even see Gwen and Morgana laughing with each other! In all their more chill scenes Gwen is either cleaning or being Morgana’s therapist. Not so fun for her.

It's not that Morgana doesn’t care about Gwen; she is kind, asks after her welfare, fights for her when she is in danger. But that’s kind of the bare minimum?? For someone in your employment let alone friends. I honestly think that because of M*rthur the bar is so low that Morgana just kind of... walking over it has everyone going they're so in love!!!

And that’s another thing that contributed to the imbalance of friendship between them: Morgana is incredibly selfish. And this is never shown more clearly than in the case of 1x12. 

Now I’ve seen people before use this as a she was so angry that Uther would do this to Gwen and Tom! Isn’t she wonderful! But Morgana A. sort of unintentionally had a hand in Tom’s murder and never told Gwen, and B. immediately made it about herself. She was furious of course for Gwen but she never stopped to think or ask what Gwen wanted like Merlin did. 

She immediately made plans to murder Uther (which I wholeheartedly support don’t get me wrong) but without ever thinking how much more of a strain it would put on Gwen if Morgana’s 'sort of' father died and she had to comfort her and squash down her own grief even more, and that’s even before she knows that she is the reason Morgana did it. She never once stops to think of the impact on the person she purports to do it all for, she just immediately takes a horrible terrible thing and makes it all about her and her feud with Uther.

And that’s not even getting into the classism. I know this is a feature of s3 onwards Morgana, but I just can’t see why she would suddenly start thinking like this if she didn’t before somewhat. She literally calls Gwen a simple minded peasant. And even before, as soon as she's struggling with something she has no qualms in snapping at Gwen, and even after she’s revealed herself as blatantly evil she takes Gwen’s allegiance for granted like she’s got nothing better to do or no one else to love and be loyal to. In season 5 she takes Gwen because she is traumatised and lonely and feels entitled to the same unwavering unreciprocated love and support she used to receive from her, and she doesn’t care that she had to force it (and literally tells Gwen that she should be grateful bc she has OBVIOUSLY never had it as bad as her!)

Clearly s1-2 Morgana is better than Arthur, but at the end of the day they both grew up with the same privilege.

In conclusion Gwen gave Morgana a hundred times more than she ever got back, and I think Gwen knew it. Her friendship with Merlin was far more healthy and fun for her and it was that that she always fell back in in times of need, never Morgana’s. 

@zoingfandom voila​

[imkylotrash]

The Noble Kind

Pairing: Sir Gwaine x reader 

Request: She's the queen, married to uther but is just a year or 2 older than Arthur. She has magic. They had an arranged marriage cause her kingdom which is extremely powerful didn't want to go to war with uther as they were taking in refugees to protect and didn't want to inforce the idea that magic is evil. She has an affair with gawain and they run away when she's pregnant. Anonymous

Tagging: @bitchwhytho​ @music-of-melody​ @shadowhuntyi​ 

“It’s for the greater good,” you mother tells you right before you marry the King of Camelot in an attempt to prevent a war. Uther is a great king for the most part but he is frightened by what he doesn’t understand. Magic is one of the things he knows nothing of - leaving it up to your kingdom to take in the refugees running for their lives. 

“To a strong alliance,” he toasts at the wedding party and you keep a smile plastered on your face through the entire evening even though you hate every second. You’ve always said you’d marry for love but there’s no lost love between you and Uther. He agreed for the alliance and nothing more. You agreed because it was the right thing to do for your people. None of you could afford to go to war with each other. 

“A strong alliance,” you echo lifting the glass of wine placed in front of you. In the crowd, you spot Gwaine looking at you with sorrow in his eyes. He didn’t want to believe it until he saw it with his own eyes. But then something changes, you see the flip switch as he raises his glass to you before downing the whole thing. You should’ve known he wouldn’t take this well. 

“Have I lost your interest already?” Uther asks with a sparkle in his eyes of something you can’t quite figure out. 

“Of course not, dear. I was simply amused by the people dancing.” You’re quick to recover having been taught etiquette and manners your entire life. You know the game well enough and you’ve only gotten better after your mother abdicated and handed the crown over to you. The loss of her king, your father, had been too much. You stepped in knowing you’d had to give up what little life you had acquired. Gwaine was the only thing you refused to let go of. 

“You should join them. Show them they can trust their new queen.” You wonder where Arthur but that question doesn’t go unanswered very long. He comes in by a back entrance quietly sitting down next to Uther.

“As you wish, my king.” You join the common people dancing and they’re quick to welcome you and show you the steps. It’s the most fun you’ve had all night. You don’t see Gwaine in the crowd though which worries you. It won’t do anyone any good if he gets drunk enough to make a scene. 

“He’s in your chamber,” Merlin whispers using his magic to carry the sound to you and only you. He must’ve figured out who you were looking for. 

“Thank you,” you whisper back. Merlin is the only one who knows about you and Gwaine but he’s promised to keep quiet. He doesn’t want to cause problems for neither of you. It’s another hour before you feel it’s appropriate to retreat for the night. Uther doesn’t object when you inform him that you’ll be spending the night in your private chambers and you don’t feel guilty for doing so. The marriage is strategic and you both know it. Besides, there’s something about only being one summer older than Uther’s own son. 

You finally reach your chambers having sent your servants to bed with the promise that you’ll be able to take care of yourself. It’s an excuse to keep them from seeing Gwaine. He’s drunk when you enter, he’s very drunk. 

“Do you ever stay away from trouble?” you ask noticing the split lip and the bruise on his cheekbone. He’s been fighting again. 

“You know, I had the strangest dream,” he starts but you’re too tired to make sense of his metaphors. You want him cleaned up and ready to sleep. 

“Let me,” you whisper carefully wetting a cloth and rinsing the worst of the blood from the cut. 

“You could always do the witchy woo,” he says wiggling his eyebrows and puckering his lips. 

“It’d do you some good to heal naturally. Perhaps you wouldn’t worry me so much,” you reply but the second he mentions the pain you’ve lost all resolve to let him heal on his own. You can’t let him be in pain when you can take it away. 

“Fine,” you whisper placing your hand right about the cut and closing your eyes. In mere seconds, the wound has closed as if he’s been waiting for you here the whole time and not been out looking for trouble. 

“Thank you,” he says this time a little more serious. You feel as though you can finally exhale as you crawl into bed with him. These are your moments of peace, the moments where you can avoid the pressure of your title and the expectations that come with the crown. 

“You know, you did just get married. Normally, there’s something you’d consummate the marriage as well.” He’s drunk and out of his mind, but he’s your crazy drunk and looking into his eyes you feel nothing but love. 

“Sober up and I’ll think about it.” You don’t consummate anything that night but you do the following nights. You get careless and before you know it, you’re late. Gaius confirms your suspicions and congratulates you thinking it belongs to Uther. But Merlin knows the truth though which means he’ll be the only person who can help you. 

“We must leave tonight,” you confide in him. If Uther finds out that you’ve disrespected him in these manners, he’ll have you hung and declare war on your kingdom. If you flee, you’ll be able to have the baby and come up with some sort of plan for your return. It’s the safest option.

“Meet me down here tonight. I’ll get you out of Camelot but then you’re on your own,” Merlin murmurs already concocting a plan for how to distract Gaius as he helps you escape. There’s no time for excitement when you tell Gwaine what has happened but you can tell he’s over the moon. 

“And it’s mine?” he whispers eyes full of affection. He never thought he’d want to become a father but learning the news of your pregnancy has proven him wrong. 

“Of course it’s yours,” you say with as much dignity as you can muster. How could he ever think it wasn’t his? You stop dead in your tracks when Arthur appears around the corner. 

“Sir Gwaine. My Lady.” He kisses your hand from obligation rather than willingness. 

“Could I have a moment with her Highness?” Gwaine knows he can’t say no but the hesitation is enough to raise suspicion. He continues down the hallway as you remain with Arthur. 

“He’s good with a sword but that brainless head of his is going to get him killed one day.” You chuckle having said the exact same thing to Gwaine many times. 

“Perhaps his sword skills will be the thing to save him from the troubles his brainless head creates?” you suggest hoping the talk of Gwaine will distract you from the real question; why are you down here? But it doesn’t and you mention the only thing that will make him run the other way. 

“I have terrible cramps. Gaius promised he had a potion that could help.” The mentions of menstrual cramps is enough to send him running and you hurry on laughing at how easy men can be distracted. Sound travels through these tunnels and you’re close enough to hear both Gwaine and Merlin. 

“I used to think you hated nobles,” Merlin laughs enjoying the company of his best friend one last time. 

“Yeah, well... maybe that one’s worth dying for, eh?” You don’t mention their conversation as you enter but your heart is beating a little faster after hearing his declaration. That night you and Gwaine escape Camelot with help from Merlin. You seek refuge in your own kingdom using magic to distort your features and remain hidden. By the time, Uther realises what has happened, you’ve taken in too many sorcerers for him to launch an attack that will ultimately lead to a war he will lose. Not too long after the birth of your child, you return to the throne with Gwaine by your side and a little heir running around the throne room. 

“Is it wrong for me to miss being on the run?” Gwaine asks you as you walk in the garden surrounding the castle. 

“I miss it too sometimes. But I couldn’t abandon my people.” 

“You just might be the first noble to care for their people,” he smiles. He takes your hand in his and the topic is never brought up again. Gwaine settles into his role with grace leaving behind the tavern fighting instead focusing on little Merlin and you. 

“I’m pretty proud of our little family.” 

“Me too.” 

[elisaphoenix13-cullrian]

More Than Words (Ch.2)

While Mia and Gaius went into town, Cullen let Dorian rest until they came back with the healer. When they did, Cullen stood off to the side while the healer examined Dorian. He made a few nods of approval when he unwrapped the bandages and looked at the wounds, and made a passing comment that they didn't need to be wrapped anymore as they had healed well…but when he got to Dorian's throat…he frowned. It made Cullen frown in turn because he knew that wasn't a good sign. He had his own suspicion that it wouldn't turn out well but he wasn't a healer and hoped he was wrong.

It was one time he hated that he was right.

"Do you know what he was made to drink?" The healer asks after backing away from Dorian to grab a few potions from his bag.

"No. I didn't see anything when I found him," Cullen answers. "I was more concerned with getting him to safety. Do you know?"

Cullen directs the last question to Dorian but the mage shakes his head, making the healer sigh and hold a potion out for him. Dorian takes it and drinks it without prompting, wincing at what could only be a terrible, bitter taste. Cullen didn't envy him.

"You said you suspect they used magebane?" The healer asks and Cullen nods. "As a former templar you should know it doesn't cause that amount of damage even in high doses."

"Could they have forced poison on him?"

"It's possible. From the looks of it, it was corrosive." The healer says. "His throat will heal after a few days of taking these potions...but your friend may never recover his voice."

The air immediately felt heavy. Not from magic or weather change but because Dorian may never be able to speak up for himself anymore. The mage came off as arrogant and proud, but he was trying to change things. Change the way people saw Tevinter and even change the ways of his homeland. He wanted to make things better but if he never recovered his voice, he couldn't make his countrymen listen.

"He's healing well," the healer continues, breaking the long silence. "Have him drink those potions twice a day until they're gone and continue to feed him broths and soft foods."

"Thank you." Cullen says quietly as he follows the man out of the bedroom and down to the door to see him out. "Is…there any chance he will recover his ability to speak?"

"...I would help him find an alternate way to communicate." The healer answers and leaves after Cullen hands him some coins. 

When Cullen closes the door, Mia approaches him with some clothes and a pile of books in her arms. "Here. I was able to find a few books on subjects you said Dorian enjoyed."

"Thank you." Cullen mumbles and takes the burden from her. "I'm going to see if he's up for a bath. It might help him feel better."

"I'll make lunch."

Cullen nods to his sister and walks back up the stairs to the room he and Dorian were sharing and he sets the clothes and books on a chair near the bed. Dorian had barely moved except to sit on the edge of the bed and was staring at the wall across the way. The mage was usually very expressive but Cullen saw nothing this time. No anger, no sadness…nothing. It was like Dorian was still trying to believe what the healer said.

"Would you like a bath? There's one in the room down the hall." Cullen didn't think he would get an answer the way Dorian was looking, but his words did seem to reach him. The mage looked up at him and nodded before taking the offered arm that Cullen held out.

Dorian stumbled for a moment but he was able to right himself and stand on his own so Cullen could pick up his clothes again. Cullen offered his arm again, but Dorian waved him away and followed the commander to the room with the tub though it was a little more of a shuffle. His strength had come back in leaps and bounds thanks to Mia's food and his uninterrupted rest, but he was still recovering. He wasn't at full strength yet.

When he was, Cullen would have to ask him if he wanted to stay at the farm or return to Skyhold with him. He couldn't make that choice for Dorian when he was better, but the mage did at least seem to appreciate Cullen's choice to keep him away from Skyhold so he could recover. If his voice didn't return by the time Cullen would set out for Skyhold–and assuming Dorian wished to return with him–he would push to find a room near Dorian's. He refused to stay in his tower where he was out of the mage's reach if Dorian needed his help.

Not that Dorian couldn't protect himself. Cullen knew he could. Dorian was an extremely talented mage, but not being able to help rubbed Cullen the wrong way. Dorian didn't have many friends, but he certainly had enemies just because of where he hailed from, and Cullen hated to admit that some people would take advantage of Dorian's mutism.

When they arrived at the bathroom, Cullen located the tub and frowned when he found it void of water. Mia or Gaius had probably cleaned it and had yet to fill it again but that wouldn't be an issue…if some of Dorian's magic was back.

"Has your magic returned at all?" Cullen asks, looking over at Dorian. "Enough to heat the water at least?"

Dorian blinks at him and then looks down at his hands as if wondering the same question. Cullen watches in silence as the mage focuses on his hands and smiles softly when a small flame sparks into existence over one of his palms. Once he gets an affirmative nod from Dorian, Cullen sets Dorian's clothes down on a stool.

"If you give me a few minutes I can fill the tub."

Dorian nods and Cullen leaves the room to head downstairs and out the door to find the well, and he grabs the buckets nearby. It took a couple of trips to fill the tub, but by the third trip, Cullen was walking back into the bathroom and found Dorian in the middle of undressing. The mage's back was turned, which gave Cullen a full view of Dorian's rear end, and he momentarily froze before he managed to recover with an embarrassed cough. Cullen didn't think to knock because the mage knew he would be in and out with water, but he swore he saw Dorian's mouth tilted up in a smile.

He had to ignore the feelings that came with that admittedly pleasant view though. Cullen wasn't sure what they were in the first place, but he also didn't want to take advantage of Dorian.

Though he could already hear Dorian saying something along the lines of you can't take advantage of the willing, Commander.

Dorian flirted. A lot. But he was Cullen's friend and he was unsure if the flirting was just friendly or if…

No. 

Cullen shakes his head as he dumps the two buckets of water into the tub, filling it up sufficiently. He was a barbaric Ferelden that wouldn't know what fashion was even if it rose up and bit him in the ass. At least that was what Dorian had said over a game of chess one day. So it was obvious Cullen wasn't even his type. Dorian was used to luxury. Something Cullen could probably never give him–

Why was he even thinking about this? It wasn't as if he had feelings for the mage. Of course Cullen appreciated him and his good looks, but even after they got past their initial dislike at first sight, Dorian was far out of reach. He would eventually return home to Tevinter–

But would those plans change now because of his injuries? Would Dorian even be safe in Tevinter now? Maybe that wasn't for Cullen to decide. If Dorian wanted to go back to Tevinter, it was his choice in the end. Even mute he could still defend himself with magic.

Cullen was just a friend…right?

Then why did you go out looking for him by yourself?

There were too many questions and not enough answers, and Cullen had to accept that he may never get them.

"There are some soaps that Mia picked out for you by the tub." Cullen finally says. "Well…I told her what you might like but I apologize if I'm wrong."

He picks up the buckets to leave and return them to the well as Dorian moves past him and reaches into the water to heat it and climb in, but Cullen stops when Dorian grabs his wrist. Cullen looks back at him with some surprise and finds a hint of desperation in gray eyes. What did it mean though? What could Dorian possibly want? A bath–and maybe a bottle of wine–was usually enough to make the mage happy but Cullen wasn't expecting this. 

Then Cullen finally realized.

Dorian had a nightmare the night before. Cullen had completely forgotten about it until that moment because he had been half asleep when he helped soothe Dorian back to sleep, but maybe he was still afraid? Cullen was the only one he knew right now and that probably meant safety.

"I'll come back if you want me to." Cullen says and relief instantly floods Dorian's eyes before he finally releases his wrist. The commander leaves, returns the buckets to their place by the well, and walks back inside only to run into Mia's husband.

He was just a bit shorter than Cullen, around Dorian's height, but built like him with dark hair. He kind of reminded Cullen of the Hawke brothers. But he was quieter. Cullen hadn't seen much of him except when he was doing his chores outside and when he and Mia returned from their trip into town. Fortunately he didn't seem to mind his or Dorian's presence and even seemed concerned about a Tevinter mage's health.

Cullen could see why Mia had chosen him and approved.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going," Cullen says immediately.

"It's alright. Neither was I. How is your friend?"

"He's in the bath. It should help."

"Mia told me what the healer said. I'm sorry. Do you need anything?" Gaius asks and Cullen shakes his head. 

"Not at the moment, but thank you. I think I should be asking you that. I would like to help out if I can in exchange for our stay."

Gaius laughs. "You're family and you needed help. I don't expect anything in return because I know you would do the same. But if you want something to do on occasion I'm sure I can find something. Just worry about Dorian for now."

Cullen sighs and nods. "I will. Thank you." 

Then he was moving past Gaius and heading back up to the bathroom. When he got inside, he turned and closed the door and then peeked around the privacy screen to check on Dorian. Only to have his heart jump into his throat. The man was completely submerged under water and Cullen acted immediately by racing over and reaching into the water to pull Dorian up.

"Dorian!" The mage flailed for a moment as Cullen forced him to resurface but then he opened his eyes and blinked up at the commander in confusion. It was then, with sleeves soaked in water and hands under Dorian's armpits, that Cullen realized his mistake. "You…you weren't drowning were you?"

Dorian's confusion quickly morphed into something…fond? He was definitely smiling for the first time since Cullen found him in that cave. He took Cullen's wrist as the blonde slowly pulled away with a growing blush and traced his finger across his palm.

No, but I appreciate your concern. I'm sorry if I scared you.

"I…guess it's better I jumped to conclusions." Cullen mumbles lamely. "I know you're not at full strength."

Dorian nods in understanding before reaching over to the table by the tub that was holding the soaps and pauses after he grabs one and smells it. If it was something he didn't like, he would've made a face and put it back. But instead he looked more surprised. Cullen certainly was when Dorian grabbed his hand again.

You noticed.

Of course Cullen could feel himself blushing. It was obvious to Dorian now that Cullen had been smelling him and was even able to pick out what the scent specifically was. A mix of something soft with something Cullen would describe as spicy. Roses and cloves. To Cullen's surprise, the roses were the stronger smell to soften the blow of the clove smell but it worked on Dorian. He admittedly loved the smell and it had helped relax Cullen on more than one occasion.

Not that he would admit that out loud. Dorian would hold it over his head for the rest of time if he did.

Cullen rubs the back of his neck with his free hand. "I suppose I was right then? I'm not usually good at discerning smells. At least when it comes to plants." 

Then he finally noticed his newest predicament, blushed again, and moved back behind the privacy screen. He was sure he heard some semblance of a chuckle from Dorian but it was quiet enough that Cullen thought that maybe he was simply hearing things. He knew Dorian wasn't shy, but Cullen was a considerate man. He wouldn't assume that the mage was okay with him staring at him while he bathed, even though that was probably true.

Dorian wanted him nearby and he would be. Just on the stool on the other side of the screen.

"Mia picked out your clothes." Cullen says to fill the silence. It was unnerving because usually Dorian would be filling the air with his own chatter. Maybe about a bath he had with fancy cheeses and a bottle of wine that had been sitting in his parents basement for the better of two decades. "She hopes they're to your liking. They're the closest to what you normally wear around Skyhold."

There was a hum before some splashing as Dorian finally started washing, and then eventually the unmistakable sound of Dorian getting out of the tub. Cullen waited, listening carefully in case the mage fell or made some sort of noise signaling for help, and Dorian eventually stepped out from the screen. When Cullen looked up, he couldn't help but stare. The clothes Mia picked out were similar to what Dorian would wear around Skyhold, but they were black and skin tight. It made Cullen's mouth go dry.

Something else that made Cullen start to wonder if he thought of Dorian as more than a friend. But he had to reprimand himself again. This wasn't the time…and he certainly wasn't someone Dorian would go for. They were friends.

Friends.

Complete opposites.

Cullen's attention snaps back when Dorians fingers Cullen's wet sleeves before holding out some clothes. It must have been the clothes that Mia had picked out for him. He didn't realize they had been in with Dorian's. Cullen took them gratefully and got up to change when Dorian walked over to a mirror to groom himself, and when he was finished, Dorian looked over and nodded in approval. A simple tunic and trousers that made Cullen feel naked without the weight of his armor. Something he hadn't even noticed until now because he had been so worried about his friend.

But the clothes were comfortable and suitable for around the farm. Maybe Dorian would enjoy some sunlight with a book while Cullen helped Gaius with the chores. He was always complaining about the snow but there wasn't any in the South Reach since it was late spring. Some movement and sunlight would help with Dorian's recovery as well.

"Would you like to join us downstairs for dinner or do you need more rest?" Cullen asks. 

Dorian sets down the blade he was using after his final swipe to rid himself of all but his perfectly manicured mustache–at least now it was–and walks over to him. He takes Cullen's hand and starts to drag his finger across his palm.

I'm alright to join you and your family. Dorian frowns for a moment before adding, if I won't make anyone uncomfortable.

Cullen smiles. "You won't make anyone uncomfortable. Mia and Gaius are both worried about you. They'll be glad to see you up and walking."

Dorian seemed to be relieved and smiled before hooking his arm with Cullen's and looking at him with an expression that seemed to say shall we?

Cullen couldn't help but return the smile. He didn't know if Dorian was doing his usual flirting or just using him as a crutch, but either way he would let Dorian do as he pleased. He had no idea what the mage had gone through in those few weeks he had been missing, but if something so simple gave Dorian peace of mind, even for just a moment, Cullen would indulge him.

Even if Mia was giving him a look when they descended the stairs and entered the kitchen. She didn't say anything, but Cullen knew she would tease him about it again when Dorian wasn't in earshot.

"I'm so glad to see you on your feet!" Mia says with a smile as she walks over and hugs Dorian. The mage blinks in surprise before slowly returning the hug and Cullen hides a smile. "You had us worried! I made some rice to go with your broth if you want to try and eat some."

Dorian gives her a grateful smile and allows her to lead him over to the table where she immediately sets his food in front of him.

"Don't let it get any colder. Cullen, come sit down." 

"What about your husband?" Cullen asks as he sits next to Dorian.

"He already ate. He's back out doing the chores." Mia answers as she sets food in front of Cullen. A hearty stew with some bread. It reminded him of his childhood.

"Thank you Mia." Cullen catches Dorian eyeing his stew curiously. "You can try some if you want. The vegetables should be soft enough."

Dorian considers his offer before nodding and Cullen pushes his bowl over. He spoons out some potatoes and carrots with the broth, sticks his spoon in his mouth, and to Cullen's surprise…enjoys it. Dorian always complained about the heavy meals the Fereldens made, but in his defense, stew was much better than gruel.

Maybe if they returned to Skyhold, Cullen could ask the cooks to make stew every once in a while.