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thepunkranger · 7 months ago

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Resident Evil Characters - A Summary

Note: This is entirely my own opinion and said with a heavy dose of humor

Please enjoy

Chris Redfield

Started as a twunk

Became an angry gorilla man???

Alpha Male™️

Punches boulders

Wants you to marry his sister

Smoker

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife

Rude to wait staff

2/10 - Just a guy. Hit him with your car

Jill Valentine

Other OG

Arguably better main of RE1

Master of Unlocking

Bisexual Bob™️

Butch

Supercop

Once got mind-controlled into going blonde

Rocket Launcher babe

PTSD

Big Strap Energy

Giant anime gun

10/10

Albert Wesker

OG Baddy

Sunglasses

Thinks he’s cool

A little too into Chris

“What are we going to do this game, Albert?”

“What we do every game, Alex: try to take over the world”

Matrix jacket

Maybe a vampire?

Looks like my uncle (derogatory)

4/10

Barry Burton

Bear

A+ line delivery

Just happy to be a part of things

Wishes his daughter would talk to him

Comes through in a pinch

Got lost on his way to The Last of Us

Father figure

Not dead out of sheer dumb luck

8/10

Rebecca Chambers

Baby butch

Sees the best in everyone

Autism be damned, my girl can work a shotgun

Sporty

Mommy Domme/Babygirl switch vibes

Sweet coffee addict

Doing fine, thanks for asking

Awkward thumbs up

9/10

Billy Coen

Bad Boy™️

Never bothered to take off his handcuffs

Tattoos

Mullet???

Moral standards

Strong silent type

Whole situation could’ve been avoided by just talking about his issues but no

Queen fan

7/10

Leon S. Kennedy

If a golden retriever became a human and then got kicked every day of its life

Having a really bad first day

Into dominant women

Dumb 90s haircut

Uses comedy as a coping mechanism

Hair grows in direct correlation to his level of angst

“Hey demons, it’s me, ya boi”

Sexy

Dog lover

Certified Good Boy™️

Fucked up a perfectly good rookie is what you did. Look at it, it’s got depression

15/10

Claire Redfield

College student stuck in the zombie apocalypse

Soft butch

Humanitarian

Forced her brother to teach her how to knife fight

Really into motorcycles

Leather jacket

Rocket Launcher babe #2

Always has at least one adopted child with her

10/10 would ask to babysit

Ada Wong

Mommy. Sorry. Mommy- sorry. Mommy-

Grappling hook

Badass spy

Emotionally distant

Soft spot for cute cuddly things (Leon)

Femme fatale

Book lover

Chaotic neutral

Crossbow 😍

Could step on me and I’d say thank you

Rocket launcher babe #3

10/10

Sherry Birkin

Goosebumps protagonist

Worst parents ever tbh

Surprisingly good under pressure

Please someone get this girl some therapy

Supergirl

Smartest person here

One hell of a shot

The trauma is immeasurable

Somehow still doing fine

Loves her weird adopted family

8/10

Carlos Oliviera

Himbo

First POC main?

Went from three polygons and a white boy haircut in the original to actual gorgeous South American hunk in the remake

Lost his accent along the way for some reason

#1 Jill simp

If Dug from Up was a guy

Only trustworthy person in the whole series

Just wants to help

Gorgeous gorgeous hair

Loves strong women

Hakuna matata

Touch-starved

10/10 would peg

Steve Burnside

Twink

Who is this sassy lost child?

Hot Topic employee

Into Claire (she’s too old for you bud)

Choker

Thinks he’s edgy

Whiny

Daddy issues

1/10

Luis Serra Navaro

If Puss in Boots was a human

The Most Extra™️

Luscious flowing locks

Definitely into bondage

Used to work for Umbrella

Trying to make up for it

Don Quixote references

Bisexual

Good with his hands

Praying for a threesome with Leon and Ada

10/10

Ashley Graham

Basic white girl

Always getting kidnapped

Master of Unlocking #2

Razor flip phone

Ada Wong bisexual awakening (same)

Good with a wrecking ball

Makes Leon catch her every time she has to jump a ledge (also same)

Would like to go to Hot Topic, please

7/10

Sheva Alomar

Player 2

Second POC main

Bad AI

Too good for her game

Willing to go on a suicide mission with a guy she just met

Left handed

Deserves a better stylist

Only good part of RE5

Literally my girl got done so dirty just give her another chance please

10/5

Moira Burton

“It’s not a phase, dad!”

Probably gay

Weak arms

Skillz

Box dyed her hair at least once

Simple Plan playing in the background

Childhood trauma

7/10

Piers Nivans

Trying his best

Appreciates a good steak

Sick of Chris’ bullshit

Good with a rifle

Just a good man

German Shepherd boy

Self-sacrificing

8/10

Jake Muller

Wesker’s son

Daddy issues

Who invited Ronan Lynch here?

Quips for days

Bad boy

Loves the type of woman who can kick his ass

The Most Edgy™️

9/10

Ethan Winters

Husband of the year

Trusting

Surprisingly chill

The most basic white man in all of RE

Hands? What hands?

Functionally a lizard

Would still love you if you were a worm

Just casually knows how to craft bullets

Moldy

8/10

Mia Winters

Toxic girlfriend energy

Literally possessed

Dark sense of humor

Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss

Casually working for a bioterrorism organization

Does actually care about her family

Definitely doesn’t have a penicillin allergy

If you can’t be the girl of his dreams, you can at least be the feral swamp witch of his nightmares

2/10

Zoe Baker

Lesbian

Mold intolerance

Southern accent thicker than grandma’s gravy

Picked last on the playground

Somehow okay despite her brother being Like That

Joe’s favorite

Science skills

8/10

Lucas Baker

Jigsaw

Didn’t even need the mold

Probably got at least one true crime documentary made about him

Working for Mia’s bioterrorism organization

Left his classmate rotting in the attic

Just the worst

0/10

Alcina Dimetrescu

Mommy

Please step on me

Elizabeth Bathory vibes

Just fucking huge

Can turn into a dragon

Lesbian

9/10

Karl Heisenberg

Grimy

Tumblr Sexyman

When robotics majors get weird

Fights with his siblings

Doesn’t actually care at all about Miranda

In cahoots with the lycans

7/10

Rosemary Winters

Mommy and Daddy issues

YA protagonist

Badass

Childhood trauma

Into the Mold-verse

Alternate universe Sherry Birkin

8/10

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aealzx · 1 year ago

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Now that Leon had stopped moving, it was the first time the others could get a good look at him. Twin swords, blue headband, scrawny teenager limbs, black sleeves and leg wraps just like Lil Mikey had. Don wasn’t sure what was causing Leon to choose this course of action, but his gaze ended up sliding from him to Raphael. A silent question was expressed in Don’s lack of aggressive stance, pursed lips and brows furrowed in cautious concern, gaze flicking to Leon once he had Raphael’s attention.

Meeting Don’s gaze, Raphael raised a brow, but decidedly kept quiet, even as the kid holding him tensed in response to Leo’s unvoiced threat. He may have been in a precarious position, but Raphael felt no reason to be concerned at the moment. First, he remembered the kid’s course having taken him to many different rooms in their lair. But it seemed until Mikey had noticed him, the kid hadn’t really done anything. Was he looking for something? And second, while the kid seemed to be an expert at masking his emotions, there was still a slight tremble in his frame, and his slowed breathing was definitely a conscious effort. The kid was obviously distressed. And while he was making stupid decisions, Raphael found he couldn’t blame him at all for them. He had his reasons, they just didn’t know what they were yet. Raphael was sure of it.

After a stretch of silence that almost snapped, the intruder finally spoke. “...Where are my brothers?” A simple question, but it was quiet, and Raphael wasn’t sure the others could hear it, let alone the waver in the kid’s voice.

“Uhhhh, what now?” Mikey asked, and Don glanced at him, not sure if he was playing dumb or just couldn’t hear well after that blast. He had barely heard the question himself.

The intruder’s hand shifted, catching their attention with the blade held close to Raphael’s throat. “Don’t mess with me. I’m not in the mood,” he warned, bouncing the blade slightly in apparent agitation, but more likely nervous anxiety. “I know they’re here. Dee’s tracker told me. I just don’t know which room. And if you hurt them…”

Raphael didn’t have to see the kid’s face to know he’d narrowed his eyes, quickly reaching the end of his rope, a slight hiss in his tone. Raphael could see Don drawing a breath to speak up and hopefully dispel the tense atmosphere, and he had half the mind to speak up as well to try and calm the kid down. Yet before either of them could speak, a quiet voice drew the attention of the ones below.

“Your brothers are safe, young one.” Master Splinter’s tone was surprisingly calm despite the view below him. Raphael couldn’t see him, but he knew he was most likely at the infirmary door. He was even more certain after the blade threatening to cut him dropped significantly as the new kid twisted to see who had spoken. With the freedom to turn his head now, Raphael craned to look over, catching sight of Master Splinter standing with the others. Lil Mikey was hesitantly moving to the front from behind Master Splinter, his arm held by the sling they had helped him into while the other held onto Donnie's IV pole. Next to him was Leatherhead, cradling a still unconscious Donnie in his arms, carefully bundled in a soft blanket.

“...Leo?” Lil Mikey asked, confusion over what he was seeing, or if he was actually seeing his brother. It didn’t take long for him to be convinced it was Leon though, and with an excited breath he started heading towards the stairs. “LEO!”

“MIKEY!” Leon cried, his carefully smothered emotions breaking through with a slight crack in his voice. The blades in his hands disappeared into wisps of energy that faded along with him as he shoved away from Raphael, flitting towards the other group. Reappearing directly in front of Lil Mikey before he’d taken more than two steps, Leon threw his arms around his little brother and scooped him off the ground for only a moment. Falling to his knees and dragging Lil Mikey down with him, Leon was unwilling to let go even as he reached a hand to clutch at Donnie, trying to pull him into his protective grip as well. “Donnie! You’re here. You’re both here-”

“It’s okay Leo. We’re okay,” Lil Mikey consoled, already willing to catch the little pieces of Leon that were spilling from his cracking barrier. Something was horribly wrong, but Lil Mikey knew Leon didn’t feel safe enough to address it yet. So he just held on as best he could to try and provide comfort, wrapping his legs around Leon’s waist and uninjured arm around his shoulders.

“Easy, little one. Your brothers have been injured, but they will be alright,” Leatherhead cautioned, lowering to his knees so he could oblige Leon’s unspoken desire to have both of his brothers close. Master Splinter adjusted his stance to watch quietly as the bandages on Lil Mikey and Donnie drew Leon’s attention, and Master Splinter had to note the analytical spark that reached the lad’s eyes as he expertly examined them along with gathering his brothers’ vitals. Hands pressing against their cheeks to check temperature, fingers finding pulses, palms resting on their chest and back, noting their damaged breathing. Even the bandages and IV site was carefully inspected for proper execution, making Master Splinter realize Leon was just as knowledgeable as his Donatello when it came to medical care.

“What happened? I thought-... I was looking everywhere! Donnie’s tracker- the map wasn’t correct. Everything is different in this stupid place- A'and you guys were out of range- Your vitals were gone-,” Leon rambled amidst his exams, voice faltering at various points, and an inability to vocalize certain thoughts causing him to change his words.

“We’re okay Leo. We got in a bit of a mess, but these guys all helped save us, and are taking care of us. It’s okay,” Lil Mikey was quick to explain what was really important, squeezing Leon tight and rubbing his cheek on him. After a moment, unaddressed concern caused him to pull his head back to look at his brother’s face. Leon’s breathing was erratic, and he was making quite the effort to keep himself occupied with things around him. After getting a good look at his expression Lil Mikey realized what had happened. “... Leo, are you okay? Are you here?” he asked, keeping his voice quieter both to not startle Leon, and to hopefully keep the conversation a little more private.

Leon still flinched at the question, having not wanted attention brought to his current state. But after flicking his eyes over to meet Lil Mikey’s, he gave a tense nod. “Yeah. I’m here,” he answered. It didn’t sound like he was completely convinced of that yet, so he ended up leaning forward to squish his nose against Lil Mikey’s shoulder. “I’m here. I’m here,” he repeated, taking a deep breath to surround himself with familiar smells, and focusing on the contact he had with both his brothers. The colors in his vision were gradually becoming less blurred, and the other voice of the past that had also yelled about tricks faded to the depths of his mind once more.

After feeling Leon’s form starting to relax significantly more, Mikey tried to see if the burning question in his mind was acceptable to ask now. “Where’s Raph? He was with you, yeah? I saw him grab you. And April. We can’t leave him alone…”

“He’s with April, don’t worry,” Leon assured quickly, silently thankful Mikey was sticking so close to him, then lowered his voice even more. “His leg is broken, I couldn’t bring them with. I was planning on just grabbing you two and taking us all back to them.”

“Ohhhhh, so if I pretended not to notice you, would you have not kicked our shells and destroyed Don’s lab cupboard?” Mikey spoke up suddenly from where the four had quietly gathered near Master Splinter, behind Leon.

The foreign voice caused Leon to flinch, anxiety levels shooting up as he was made painfully aware of the strangers with their names still being there. Gripping Lil Mikey even closer, Leon shifted to press against Donnie, shielding his brothers with his own body as he peered warily over his shoulder. It was tempting to escape now, but it would have been hard with Donnie still being held by Leatherhead, and attached to an IV. But if he were being aware of the finite details of his emotions, the way Leatherhead held Donnie so carefully, and the well practiced medical care both he and Lil Mikey had been given, was making Leon hesitate.

“Give him a break Mikey. He’s got a lot going on,” Raphael chided, folding his arms with a pointed look at Mikey even as Don hissed a soft command to be quiet.

Leo ended up twitching at that response, looking at Raphael incredulously. “Oh, so we’re just going to ignore the fact he held a sword to your throat?” he demanded, the protectiveness from before having not subsided in the least.

The comment caused Leon to shrink away from them even more, anticipating some kind of negative reaction from the group of strangers. Any sudden move toward him or his brothers and he’d just pull the entire group around him away. He could drop the other two back after getting them separated from his brothers.

But instead of scolding Leon, Raphael just huffed. “Yeah. We are. Look, he just got yanked from his home dimension, thought his brothers were dead for who knows how long, and then probably ran all over the city looking for them,” he relayed, causing Lil Mikey to gain a small smile. “He’s just a kid. And you and I both know we’ve all done stupid things for the sake of keeping each other safe. So don’t go getting all judgmental for a rough start. The other one about punched you in the face when we first met him, and you’re already cuddling him like a teddy bear.”

“WH- That’s completely different!” Leo sputtered, flustered at being called out. He didn’t think he was being all that cuddly. “Donnie was obviously scared, and overwhelmed, and we were complete stran… gers…,” Leo’s protests trailed off as he started to piece together everything Raphael had already figured out. At least Raphael only gestured to Leon instead of vocally harassing Leo about his oversight. “Don’t,” Leo grumbled, resting his face in his hand even as Don chuckled, nudging Mikey who also seemed to have just made the connection.

“Ohhhhhh. Wow, they really are brothers, huh,” Mikey voiced.

Leon still wasn’t convinced they didn’t have any ill will towards him, so remained defensively shielding his brothers while watching the strangers in wary confusion. Yet Raphael wasn’t put off at all about how defensive Leon was being towards them. They were strangers to him. Strangers who were crowding around his injured brothers, who he probably felt responsible for. And to be fair, he and Don had run at Leon with their weapons drawn. It wasn’t like they were all blameless for starting a fight.

Right. He should probably apologize for that.

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Previous Next

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This one took like 8 hours to draw X'D but it was worth it. Yey squish.

Also Leatherhead is a freaking behemoth X'DDD omg, it was hard to get him in there.

#my art #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #cross dimension kidnapping #rise + 2003 crossover #hugging #writing #long post #fanfic

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wisecrackingeric-2 · 6 months ago

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Ok I’m FINALLY sitting down and collecting all my thoughts on the 2000’s Hallmark Don Quixote cuz. Oh my god it’s S O GOOD BDNBRNEHDNXJ EXCUSE MY RAMBLINGS I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS

First things first though actually the only reason I went out of my way to watch this movie before any others is cuz when I asked mister André Peña himself told me that that was the film he watched to get into Luis’ role and yeah. Yeeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhh king I can see EXACTLY what parts you took from it BCNHENEJDNSN

The best way I can describe this movie is that it feels like The Princess Bride?? Or a Knights Tale??? Or Ever After like???????? It’s a whimsical adventure following a pair of silly guys doing the best they can!!!!!!!!! It’s charming and the characters are super loveable and it feels like what a Don Quixote movie SHOULD be!!!!!!!!!!

It also has like??? A surprisingly deep message that I wasn’t expecting??????? Like the people around Alonso only ever care about him if they can tease/mock him or view him in a sexual light/want him for his body and that really upsets him and it’s like!!! God damn I wasn’t expecting that!!!!!!!!

Sancho and Don Quixote’s relationship is also really fun, they feel more like an old bickering married couple rather than a devoted/devotee and I swear to god. There were some points I was watching this movie and it felt EXACTLY like some dumb shit Leon and Luis would do and say to each other. AGAIN. I CAN SEE EXACTLY WHERE ANDRÉ GOT HIS INSPIRATION FROM IT WAS UNCANNY ALMOST

Also I really liked how Dulcinea (or at least Alonso’s vision of her) felt like a genuine driving force in the plot!!!!! She’s an actual character that’s cared for rather than The Woman Don Quixote Likes!!!!!! ALSO AGAIN SANCHO WAS SO FUN he’s so genuine and cares about his family and is an actually Caring Guy and his lack of wits feels like it compliments Don Quixote rather than be annoying!!!!!!!! Just in general they compliment each other so well they don’t even need to do any big speeches you can just FEEL how much they care for each other!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALSO OH MY GOD THE ACTION AND THE PRACTICAL EFFECTS. S O MUCH WAS DONE PRACTICALLY AND IT LOOKED S O FUCKING BEAUTIFUL AND THE ACTION WAS ALSO BEAUTIFUL IT WAS SO GOOD AGAIN IT FELT LIKE WATCHING THE PRINCESS BRIDE

But finally. FINALLY. The best part of the movie was EASILY this

CAPCOM/ANDRÉ/WHOEVER WHEN I GET YOU. WHEN I GET YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways here’s the full movie for free if you wanna watch it (WHICH YOU REALLY REALLY SHOULD) cuz this was S O hard to find wtf (THANK YOU SM @ 0039pf-third-blog-hooray !!!)

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noowayybroo · 1 year ago

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I can't think of a name for this fic.

Hi! It's been a while!

So one of the first Resident Evil fics I read was about Leon saving you from an abusive ex! And I desperately wanted to find more of these!! But I couldn't :( So! I wanted to write one! But before doing that I thought... Leon's a sweet boy - n I heard he had an ex or something before re2?? but maybe I'm wrong?? So what If YOU, dear reader, ran into absolute sweet baby boy Leon (just the one I have in mind but play it however you want if you can) and helped him through a dodgy relationship or breakup?

Characters: Leon Kennedy, Reader

Warnings: Not NSFW. GN reader cuz YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! WHY WOULD I EVER WANT TO EXCLUDE YOU, HUH!?!?!?! No mention of age but faint job and relationship to Leon suggestions. Hurt / Comfort. Please be careful there's gonna be an abusive / manipulative partner mentions but they will be hopefully brief n quiet and the fic will focus mostly on happy Leon at the end!!! Not really a warning but written with dumb GB money n phrases n stuff so sorry if that upsets you XD

"That'll be £5.29, Sir"

"Just 99p, please."

"You want the lucky dip?" ... "Just one?" ... "£3.99 please."

"You know I need to see your ID if you want those, right?"

Another day, another dollar. Another day in this dumb shop, working late shifts for what? For minimum wage and abuse from drunken low-lives. To put it simply, you worked at an understaffed corner-shop, and always had the late shifts, because you always had the time. Same old same old. Time passed slowly, each night felt like a repeat of the last, and all you did was stare at the clock and wait for your shift to end.

Wednesday through Sunday.

Same old?

Same old.

Soft baby-blues, yet just as able to pierce, were not what first earned your attention. Nor was it the silvery blonde hair that fell upon his face in neat locks. Surprisingly, nor was it that face: so soft, so pure... Quite cute. Sweet, maybe?

Ok, stop making assumptions. The young man who's just entered your store alone seems quite flustered, in a rush. Yet you notice how he takes time to establish eye contact with you and give a swift, polite nod, acknowledging you.

You gladly return his gesture and your chest flutters a little as you share a kind smile before he disappears into the rows of aisles. You think to yourself as you watch the man's head bob around the rows of products, no longer able to see his expression. You subconsciously attempt to look a little more presentable. The thing was, customers this late at night weren't usually so polite. They didn't give a damn about whether you were there or not, unless they were trying to steal something. Wait, what time was it again?

10:04

Oh. An hour 'till home time. Great, your feet were killing you. You're shaken from your mundane day-dream as the man strides quickly up to the counter. His hands are full of microwave meals and booze. He reaches the counter long before you're focused and ready to serve him, but waits patiently despite his rush. He hands you his ID, although you'd probably have let him go without it, pays in cash and scrambles to pick his things up again.

"You need a bag?" you ask quietly, feeling almost reluctant to disturb his rush.

"N-nah thanks I got- it's not my money I don't need it-"

"It's on me." you state, soft yet assertive, grabbing his items and shoving them into one of the more expensive carrier bags. You catch him off guard completely. He stands there, frozen, as you pick the rest of his items out of his cradling arms and bag them, before shoving them back to him all packed.

"Wh- T-thanks!" He beams, hesitant. He gives you a wide, genuine smile, nods, and leaves. Just like that, he's gone. Polite, kind customers were so rare that you couldn't blame the tornado of butterflies within your stomach. To think, also, that he was so grateful for one carrier bag, something most patrons would spit on you for not supplying free. Your gaze rests on the sliding door where you last saw him, wondering if you'd ever do so again.

10:07

Uggghhhhhhhhhh....

The next few months come and go. Summer soon becomes Autumn, the nights get longer, the air gets colder and your enthusiasm for this damn job remains absent. Something that did happen, though, was that you saw more of the cordial gentleman from that night. He seemed to have been the only nice customer that came back. That, or, there was something particularly memorable about him...

Gross. Stop it.

Always kind and polite, you loved exchanging smiles with the man as he went about his shopping. You wondered why he'd been so shy.. Or at least, you'd imagined him to be shy, thanks to his timid voice and the way he stole glances at you from above the aisles.

He lets people with fewer items jump ahead of him in line, thanks you extra graciously as he leaves, and sometimes, rarely, makes small-talk with you when it's just the two of you alone. Sometimes, he likes to ask how you are, and, if a customer or your manager has given you a hard time in any way, he hurries over once you're alone to reassure you.

"Don't listen to them, c'mon... What do they know, huh?"

"You're amazing! You're doing your best and that's more than enough!"

"Those jerks don't know how lucky they are to have you!"

On one night, you're helping him pack his bags as he's counting his change to pay you, and you can't help but notice some... markings on his skin. They look like bruises, maybe hickeys? But in strange places. There are some scratches too. Where are those from? You ponder, holding out your hands for his change without thinking. Is he... alright? ...Do those hurt?

You're snatched back to reality by the sound of the change he'd just handed you falling and clattering on the counter and floor around you.

"Shhit - Sorry-", you hiss, going to pick up the coins, but before you can move, he's already shuffled to the side of your counter and is crouching down, picking up each penny with care. He hands them back to you, a little more caring this time in case you'd drop them again. He seems concerned. This time you keep a firm grip on the coins.

"Sorry... Should have brought notes..." He apologises, sincere. "Next time, sorry." No matter how much you tried to reassure him as you counted his change, he kept apologising and cursing himself. You couldn't judge him, but you just wished he wouldn't. It was your mistake, not his. He shouldn't bully himself over your issue. You stand there in silence for a while, handing him his receipt. "Thank you, but are you okay?" he asks, tentatively.

"I'm alright... I just- Are you okay?" You can't help but whisper. You feel terrible, prying about his personal life, but you were just so curious. You were worried for him. His confusion dissolves into a pool of concern as he follows your gaze to his own hands and neck, and he quickly shies away. He looked hurt, as if your stare had wounded him, as if you'd accused him of something. More so, he looked as though you'd uncovered something he'd rather leave hidden.

He does his best to assure you, swearing up and down that he's alright. He tells you he does a lot of training for his job, which made some sense with his figure, and that sometimes things can get a little rough. You didn't completely buy it, but he was gone just as quickly as he'd come - signing off with a polite nod and a 'good night' and disappearing into the cold.

Worsening your suspicions, the next time you saw your favourite customer, he was even worse for wear. His hair was tussled and messy and his features a little more scratched up and grizzly. Worst of all, this time, that lovely smile of his just felt fake - empty. It was as though he smiled for you, to show you something that wasn't really there. You greet each other. You make small-talk. As soon as he notices that his scars are visible, he takes off.

The next time you'd seen him was midnight. You'd been instructed to close the shop early after waiting for a co-worker who'd never turned up to take the next shift. The rain splashes down around you as you grumble to yourself, fiddling with the flimsy lock on the shop's door. You'd put down the metal shutters, turned off all the lights and closed up. Your priority at this time was simply to get home. You were tired, stressed and quickly becoming soaked through. All you wanted was to get home, kick off your really-painful-right-now shoes and-

...hear loud footsteps approaching you from behind.

Running.

Running?

Running towards you?

You turn quickly, heart racing, only to be met face-to-face with a really, really desperate looking gentle-customer. He greets you, panting, exhausted.

He tells you he's confused; he thought your shop was 24/7. You explain the situation to his sympathetic ears as you both stand there, equally soggy and dripping beneath the falling rain. You stand with him in silence, letting the downpour claim you as he catches his breath (or works up his confidence.)

"Did you need something?" You help him. He's hesitant, but you know he ran for a reason. Your eyes grasp his as you stand together, looking like fools on the corner of a dimly lit street.

"It- it's... I didn't want to have to ask you but could I PLEASE buy something I really really need it I'm so sorry I'll pay you extra I'll-" You cut him off, already opening the shop back up. He needed your help and you weren't about to deny him it for any reason, not since he'd been so kind to you.

You both hurry into the shop, setting up the till whilst he gathers what he needs, and then it's time to check him out and leave. He follows you out as you lower the shutters the rest of the way and lock up once more, and you wonder to yourself as you do so why he hasn't left yet. Looking up at him from your hunched over position, you see him watching you eagerly. He seems to want to say something, probably to thank you or say goodbye, but most likely feels it might be rude or abrupt.

"Thank you... Thank you very much." his voice echoes beside you in the empty street. Vivid street lights shine down on the both of you, cool colours complimenting the cold air prickling your skin. When your eyes meet, he shoots you a soft smile. You dread a 'goodbye'. You're certain it's coming. "Listen... it's really cold out.. and the rain-"

"Yeah, I know... Is this where we say goodbye for the nigh-"

"Do you want a lift?" the man interrupts you suddenly. His voice is all too timid, but he does his best to speak up over you before you mention parting ways. He doesn't think he could hear that right now.

Not that you'd know, but something about your kindness and generosity to him was affecting him in a way it shouldn't have, considering that he was in a relationship. Swiftly, the man spots your discomfort and surprise, and quickly chimes in, "My name's Leon, by the way, Leon Kennedy-", There's a long pause, "Sorry... I thought it'd... You should know that at least... Before you even think of getting in my car-"

"Are you sure?" It was your turn to cut him off this time, call it payback.. or something. In reality, your excitement just got the better of you. You wanted to speak with him, get to know him, and this would be the perfect chance!

I mean, of course, there was stranger danger, but look at him! He's harmless! Lil' (big) guy couldn't hurt a fly! Besides, by now, you felt like you knew him, at least a little. The rain poured down, soaking through you, and you didn't live far so you were sure it wouldn't be too out of his way...

"I know it's weird and sudden, I was just wondering, you don't have to..." Come on, he had to be nervous with this amount of babbling.

"Of course I'd be very grateful, thank you." You ease him, earning a relieved and somewhat excited look from him as he quickly shows you to his car which is only a few meters away. Leon juggles his shopping whilst helping you into the front before storing what he's bought in the boot. You let him know where you live, to which he gives a happy nod and an 'ah!', and finally, you're on your way. Homebound at last.

You and Leon make great conversation on your way home. Almost like a dream. You hadn't spoken to him more than five minutes in one go before, and yet it felt like you were the closest of friends. He liked your music, he was inspired by your hobbies. Your dress sense enthralled him, and he always complimented you and piped up in disagreement whenever you put yourself down. On the short drive, he really opened up to you, and, by the time you were clambering out of his front seat, he was entirely cool and collected... and slightly attractive. You didn't read that.

As you lean through the window to give him one last thanks, you bump your head on the window frame. Tender laughs and giggles were shared, before he disappeared into the night. You stumble home and fall asleep in much a better mood than you would have been in should he not have shown up. He probably had no idea, you thought, but Leon saved your day. You'd have been moody, sore and disgruntled all over, but thanks to him, you slept easy and you dreamt happy.

You wondered how he'd be sleeping that night.

That was the last time you'd seen Mister Kennedy for quite some time. Moreover, the next time you did, he was not alone at all. Someone who you could only imagine to be his partner clung to his arm as they sauntered into the shop beside him. You weren't one to judge, especially not a book by its cover, but this new face simply exuded possessiveness. Ok, alright, he has a partner. That's not so bad-

Your heart cracks a little when Leon doesn't even look your way upon entering the shop. You imagine he always did, to check who was there, but this time he seemed to know you'd be there, and seemed un-phased. Alright, this is okay too. He can't be making eyes at me and getting all friendly with a special someone around. You watch as he's paraded around the shop by his presumed partner, who is certainly making evil eyes at you. They speak loudly at him, make him carry everything and overall just seem like bad news.

Quite frankly, it pisses you off.

Leon stays quiet as they walk around, occasionally replying to his accomplice, and even when it's time to pay, which they make him do, he doesn't look at you. Could he be ashamed, maybe? Maybe he was upset at you. Or maybe... No, did this person have an issue with him just speaking to people? That wasn't very cool at all, to put it all too lightly.

You tried not to let it affect you, you really did, but when the next few times you saw Leon that month and he had them glued to his shoulder, you felt your joy and confidence being eroded with force. Each time, you'd get no input or interaction from Leon, and his lovely, charming personality seemed to be a distant memory. From his partner, which you were now sure of, given that they'd made a point of kissing him in front of you, you received the lot. This included glares, snide comments and even a service complaint which fortunately your manager did not buy.

His silent visits left you alone with your thoughts, and it was agonising. Your mind wandered as you watched him, actively dodging glares from his partner. You didn't like the way they looked at you, a stranger, when really, what did they have to dislike about you? You didn't like the way they held him so close, pulling him in like he'd run if he had the chance. Well, would he? You didn't like how he never smiled around them. You missed that smile, so so much, but with his partner, he seemed scared to show it. Why was that?

Left to stew in your thoughts, you learned to hate a stranger pretty easily. In fact, you felt a formidable rage as you trudged home in the cold air that day. Your mind was clouded with chores and responsibilities, and everything you'd have to get done. Worst of all, you were obsessed with a stranger, and with uncovering his life, and really, you felt pathetic and stupid for being as such. You felt ready to give up, as though you had to. You felt hopeless. Whatever was happening to Leon was none of your business, and at this point, what could you do? What should you do?

You'd probably never even see him alone again, and if you tried to speak to him, what would you say? Would he listen? would he care?

But there he was, in front of you: a perfect mirage, turning onto your street, a block ahead. You can't believe your eyes, especially with the distance between you and the darkness of the night. Your legs, however, didn't doubt for a minute, and you found yourself running towards him. You did your best to silence your feet, but he still heard you, and turned to check out the noise. You slow to a sane pace before walking beside him, catching your breath. Thankfully, he seemed somewhat relieved. 'At least you weren't some armed mugger', or something, probably.

This was your chance. You were beside him now, walking, and he hadn't run, or shouted obscenities at you. And even better - he was alone. He looked rough, bags hung under his eyes and he was certainly due a shower, not that you minded at all. You knew that was (despite the cold shoulder) just as caring, considerate and kind under it all. Selfishly, really, you just wanted to see him smile. Fearing he'd be home and out of your clutches soon, you break the ice.

"Leon... I've been meaning to speak to you for a while, how are you?" You try your best to sound chirpy and bright, still trying to encourage some joy from him, but he seems tired, weary as he glances back at you.

"I've been great, thanks." He replies, but without a smile, you see straight through his lie. He wants to change the subject, to push something else. "Look, I'm really really sorry for ignoring you recently. I didn't mean to. It's just my.. You know, my special someone. A bit insecure, nothing really, just have to keep quiet with other people while they're around."

Suspicions confirmed. That was his partner and he was expected not to speak to you. His sugar-coating does not serve him at all, it merely lines your heart with lead, and you press the conversation further in an attempt to distract yourself as it sinks.

"I was... actually thinking about that lately. Look, I just think... I don't know how to say this but-"

"How are you, by the way? I'm sorry I didn't ask... I hope you didn't think me running you home was odd-", Leon cuts you off quickly. He seems to not want to speak about any of this at all. He seems to know precisely where you're going. If you didn't see the hurt in his body and hear it in his voice, you might get mad, but now all you feel is sorrow for him.

"Leon, I'm... Actually, no. I'm not alright. I need to speak to you. We're friends, right? Can you answer me some stuff? I'm just curious. Like.. Your partner... how long have you guys...?" Leon swallows thickly and drags his blown pupils from the ground to focus on you. He looks guilty, he seems reluctant. But, luckily for you, he seems to think he owes you. Furthermore, hearing you're not ok has seemed to panic him a little.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry yeah so... We've been together for a few months now. They're great honestly, love of my life, all that. Childhood sweethearts. Just got a few insecurities, having a hard time finding themselves, so if it's best if I give them my attention." He sounded so kind and attentive speaking about his partner in such a hushed whisper. Maybe what he was saying was all honest and true, but something just didn't sound right. It didn't feel good-natured. Partners can be insecure, it's alright, but stopping him from speaking to others? Meanwhile, your eyes wander, dragging your mind with them.

"And Leon, what about those marks on you? Is your partner responsible for those? Did you do-", You stop when you see Leon clench his fists. He seems uncomfortable, his hair falling into his face, hiding his flinching eyes. You've hit a nerve, and instantly you feel guilty and regret your actions. Leon starts to walk a little faster, but you feel like if you're going to get anywhere with him you can't let him escape, not this time. As you pass a bench, you gently place your hands on his arms, gripping him. The gentle giant he is, he stops quickly, and allows you to drag him down to sit with you.

"I'm not sure why it matters... But fine, if.. if we're friends we can chat like friends, right? Confidential, and stuff.." He trails off and looks away for a while, before picking up the subject again, but not to deny it, "They can just get a bit clingy. Not to worry, not their fault. Sometimes when we're doing things they just go a bit far, or you know, they make mistakes, accidents. Anger issues, sort of thing but-" Leon was about to insist that you drop it now or not tell anybody about this but you're not having it.

"Leon stop and listen to me, please. I know this is insane, but it's not right, okay??? None of this is right. None of this is correct. Have you been in a relationship before now?" Leon stares at you, his eyes wide, and the lump in his throat jumps once more as he finds himself unable to reply for a while. He's surprised by your boldness. He's amazed by how you've shifted from so calm, funny and cool to this. Now, you seem furious. He imagines you gripping the bridge of your nose and closing your eyes in disappointment if you weren't holding him in place.

His mind struggles to articulate a plan for his words and actions. Just as he's about to really panic though, a thought at the back of his head hits the nail- you're worried about him. You're worried for him. His face softens and he eases up a bit, looking concerned himself. Leon lets out a long sigh and closes his eyes, clenching his jaw and licking his top lip. And then, he moves a little to let your hands slide down his arms. He takes your hands in his and looks into your eyes.

"Thank you." He murmurs. "I understand what you're saying." Silence feels between the two of you, in which you both wonder what the other is thinking. And then, he answers your question. "They're my first. I haven't had anybody before." He sounds shy, almost stammering. Something within him seems ashamed. Does he think it's emasculating to have had few partners at his age? Or is he embarrassed at letting this happen to him? You recognise his struggle, and grip his hands reassuringly. You want him to feel safe. You want him to be happy.

"I get it, Leon. But please, listen to me when I tell you, It's not like that in the real world, alright?" you notice his gaze drift a little so you lean in to recapture his attention. "The person you love doesn't hit you. They don't berate you or put you down. They love you just as much as you love them. They look after you, and they want you to be happy. And they understand that you have social needs and things, and they let you fulfil them. Do you understand me?" Your voice is sweet yet firm. You don't intend to let him go without drilling this mindset into him. At least, you're going to give it your best shot.

You've called him out. You've summed him up. Not only is he fragile but he's exposed. Leon feels feeble, pathetic. He feels as though not only is he weak and unable to help himself, but as though he just exudes this image of himself. He's barely spoken to you, and now you know just how pitiful he is. He felt disgusting.

Meanwhile, you babble on as he stares straight past you, lost in a replay of the last few months of his life. He thought about the comments they'd made to him over time, the things they'd done and said, the things they'd asked or demanded of him. He thought about the horrible things they made him feel about himself.

And then he thought about you.

A stranger on a park bench, late at night, holding his hands and reassuring him. Trying to get him to see just how much he was missing out on. Not only that but you chatted away before him, and he wondered if it was the faint semblance of vanity he had left within him, or if you actually cared. He felt right, holding your hand. He felt safe and he felt respected. He zones back in, staring into your eyes as you finish your rant.

"I do understand, yes." he replies, voice low and thick. "Thank you for everything."

"I have something else to say."

"What is it? Are you okay?"

"I haven't known you long, Leon. But you seem like a really, really good guy. You don't deserve to be roughed around by anyone. You don't deserve to be insulted, or belittled. I don't know your living situation. No idea who pays the bills, but Leon. There's people out there who'd love the hell outta you and never place a finger on you unless you wanted them to, and even then it'd be because they love you, you hear?" Leon nods slowly, obediently as you speak, soaking in your words like a sponge.

"I never asked you for your name..." He rasps, once again, his mind seems to have drifted somewhat, but you understand. It's a horrible, touchy subject, and you're lucky he's put up with staying with you here in the dark. He could have up and left ages ago, you couldn't blame his brain for trying to avoid something so horrible. You sigh, how could you resist him? Reluctantly you give him your name, and earn your first smile from him in what seems to be an eternity. He squeezes your hands softly and shifts a little before looking at you very closely.

"Y/N. Please tell me. Do you think I should leave them?"

Jesus Christ. How do you answer that one?

"I know you just want my opinion, and that you might not do what I say, and that's perfectly fine," you say quietly, moving one hand to grip his shoulder supportively. You'd love to cup his face but that's far too tender. Far too intimate. "But, if they hurt you. if they upset you. If you feel used or disrespected or unloved, they are not for you. You've got tons of time left and you will find someone who loves you, if that's what you're looking for. Nothing this lowlife has taken from you or done to you can get in the way of that, alright?" You chuckle nervously as such a harsh set of words leaves you, but you go quiet when you see Leon's lips twitch.

He seems to be trying to smile, or to fight one back, you're not sure. His eyes appear watery, and his face sunken. He looks like he needs to rest. Then, he looks at you, you can tell he's about to change the subject.

"Thank you, wait. I want to do something before I forget. Could I please have your number, is that alright?"

"What for? Are you sure it's okay?" Leon freezes for a while, staring forward just as he's shuffling through his pockets to find his phone. It's not until the cold air hits your hand that you realise just how lovely his touch was. Leon looks back at you with feigned yet ignited bravery as he unlocks and begins to navigate his phone.

"I'm not going to let them stop me speaking to people anymore." You beam, wide and genuine, so glad to hear those words. For once, he's declaring his strength. He's fighting back. Leon can't help but join your smile as his eyes twinkle beneath the street lamps above. On the verge of tears, he smiles widely back at you. You exchange numbers gladly, and he calls you there and then just to make sure, as if afraid you're lying.

He makes his way home via yours, walking and talking with you and seeing you to your door. Such a gentleman, you think, even though he isn't yours. And to think his 'reward' is what it is. It horrifies you.

The tension is thick as you stand at your door, both swaying slightly as you stand together, exhausted. You conclude your conversation about work, everyday life, hobbies and things, and Leon watches you for a while, flinching a little as he thinks.

Unexpectedly, he pulls you in for a gentle hug. Nothing intimate, nothing over the top. In fact, he seemed almost scared to do it.

"Thank you. You've been so good to me." He whispers as he pulls away. You reassure him it was the least you could do, and jokingly bump him on the shoulder, spewing out something along the lines of 'you better make good on what I said' in the process. He flashes you another smile before watching you head indoors and returning home himself.

You hadn't heard from Leon in an entire week until a familiar pair of eyes creased and smiled at you from the entrance to your shop. That bell had never sounded better, orchestrating his presence. Your friend smiles at you and goes about his shopping, and, ringing him up, you can't help but notice the lack of his usual shopping habits before you. There was no cheap cider, there was no wine. There certainly weren't any ready-meals, just fresh foods, and an expensive whiskey.

You raise an eyebrow at him, and he quickly smirks at you, seeming proud of himself.

"I like to cook. And besides, I thought I'd celebrate." You knew exactly what that meant. He was providing for himself now, living how he wanted to. He must have finally spread his wings and escaped. You can't help but beam, entirely in awe. You want to be certain though, as you look at his refreshed face. He seems to have had a burden and a half lifted from him.

"Does this mean what I think it does, Leon?"

"It certainly does." He chuckles before leaning in and giving you a mock-serious tone, "And you better have been right about those tonnes of people being after me... I'll be waiting for them." He sounds confident, he sounds mischievous and playful. He sounds like a new man, but with that same inner sweetness. He pays for his things, and gives you extra for that bag from months ago. Watching him leave, you made a mental note: That memory was just one more on the list of 'sharp' things that made up Leon Kennedy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

HI I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKED THIS!!! IT WAS REALLY HARD TO WRITE CUZ IT WAS SUPER EMOTIONAL AND THINGS BUT I SO SO HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT OR IT HELPED YOU IN SOME WAY. I really felt quite deep writing this (to put it lightly) and I hope the story can mean as much to you, especially those of you from America etc who have to put up with my weird spellings and mannerisms. Anyway, I hope this is alright for you, and thanks a billion for all of your support, ever!!!

I'm sorry if this one hit a nerve or two, I really hope nobody was upset or offended.

#resident evil #resident evil x reader #leon kennedy #re leon #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #hurt/comfort #re4 leon #leon s kennedy #re2 leon

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yourgentlegirlfriend · 2 years ago

Note

Vendetta Chris Redfield x Civilian reader? Your writing is amazing! 🥹

FIRST! Before I post this I wanted to thank all of you for the older Leon post love because wow!! I really wasn’t expecting that AT ALL thank you so much. I got a little carried away on this one! I enjoyed writing it and it gave me and excuse to rewatch vendetta. There is no smut… BUT I can do a part two maybeee. PLEASE LEAVE STUFF IN MY INBOX, after this i have nothing </3

DISCLAIMER!! this is 18+ ONLY, please do not interact with my blog if you are underaged or don’t have age indicator in your bio!! thank you!!

gender neutral reader x Vendetta Chris Redfield.

Warnings: Mentions of explosions, blood, gore, close to death experience. Chris is over protective as fuck. Leon is dumb but so cute. BESTIE REBECCA TROPE.

Word count: 2,830

There was already chaos in the city, the only reason you knew is because your boss would rather die than send anybody home. But when he ran into the office, screaming that everyone needs to leave immediately, you knew there was something wrong. You tried to keep yourself calm, your heart beating so loud in your ears that you felt like you were going to puke. You walked out the double doors of the building, gripping at your bag . A loud gasp left your lips at the sound of a motorcycle roaring down the street, driving past you at least going eighty-six. This is a public area, starting right over by the district buildings. Right as you went to cross the street a loud explosion pushed you off your feet, throwing you to the ground. Your hand immediately flew to your head as you sat up, coughing from the wind literally being knocked out of you. You cleared your throat, blinking as a man squatted down to your height, offering his hand. He was speaking but the words were muffled, due to the fact that your body was still adjusting to the explosion that happened not even 10 feet away from you. With a pop your hearing cleared, along with your vision as you looked at the man.

“Are you alright?”

His voice was sweet, sultry and so so smooth. Like whiskey almost. You nodded your head as you pulled yourself up, ignoring his hand.

“Are you a cop?”

This was definitely a dumb question, you can see the snarky expression painted in his face. Your eyes trailed down his body, oh. He was in the military or something? Then something is really going down in the city.

“Because if you’re a cop, i have a gun in my bag i have a permit but-“

He put his hands up trying to ease you, bending down and handing you your bag.

“I’m no cop, but you should get out of the city. It’s getting bad.”

Your conversation was cut off by the loud sound of dogs snarling, Chris screaming loudly to who you assumed was his partner. All while you stood behind him, staring around the city as more loud bangs could be heard in the distance. Leon had yelled to Chris about getting through and bombing the rest of the trucks. Chris gritted his teeth watching as Leon sped off, the mutant dogs chasing after him. The anxiety kicked you in the jaw, your breathing labored a bit as Chris grabbed you by the arm, dragging you to the car.

“Just get in the back and stay down!”

Chris yelled as you got into the backseat, your hands shaking as you pressed your body against the cool leather seating. Chris was in the car not long after. I’m gonna die because I saw too much, or SOMETHING.(so you thought) There was no way you could make it out of this even with Chris by your side.

The drive was surprisingly calm after Chris bombed all the city's trucks. You sat in the back still staring out the window, rubbing at the bruise on your arm. Chris stared at you through the rear view window, tapping on the steering wheel.

“I’m Chris by the way, I didn’t mean to abduct you but, you got caught in crossfire.”

Even in a time like this Chris couldn’t help but chuckle a bit, his hand gripping at the steering wheel again.

“I’m (Y/N), and don’t be sorry I’m grateful, really. Thank you, Chris.”

Chris saved a hopeless civilian, you just kept thanking your lucky star you were in the right place at the right time.

When the car came to a stop, Chris turned to you, clearing his throat.

“Please- don’t leave the car. I won’t be more than maybe twenty minutes alright? Not that I care where you go or anything but, for your general safety.”

Chris spoke as he grabbed his gun from the passengers seat, checking sits magazine. His eyes shifted to the rear view window again, you saluted your fingers at him with a smile.

“Yes sir, Captain… Redfield?”

You squinted trying to read the badge on his chest. It was sarcasm and he couldn’t help but smirk before getting out of the car.

—-

You swore it wasn’t even 10 minutes but the anxiety was eating you alive. You groaned loudly, digging into your bag to find your pistol , squeezing your eyes shut as you let out a yell of adrenaline, pulling the shoes off your feet because god damn did they burn. You climbed out the backseat and opened the front door, even though the streets were empty you checked both ways before sprinting across. The front door to the building opened, your shaky hand pulling back the gun checking if it was ready to fire. Thank god your dad was a cop, because when he forced you to do all that training when you were younger you were thanking him from his grave. You ran down the flight of stairs, just following the sound of people. But the sound of “people '' was just a lot of moaning and groaning. You almost slipped off the last step, gaining your balance. You saw Chris surrounded by a bunch of… people? They were attacking him and he was shooting back but was obviously having trouble. You raised your arms with the pistol in hand, giving yourself a small mental pep talk which mostly consisted of “Please don’t shoot him” and “What if i shoot the wall” You squeezed your eye shut, your finger pressing into the trigger, a groan from Chris being heard as he pushed the now corpse off his body.

“Thank god Leon-“

Chris stopped dead in his tracks as he stood up, looking at you.

“What are you DOING?”

Chris screamed, walking towards you as you lowered the gun.

“I’m sorry! I got nervous by myself out there and when I came in here all I heard was grunting. I got worried!”

You yelled back as Chris ran his hand over his face in frustration. The two of you stood in silence for a few seconds before the door behind you swung open, Leon on his bike.

“Oh shit, sorry am I interrupting-“

“Shut up Leon, we have to find Rebecca.”

Chris cut Leon off before pointing at you.

“You stay behind me AND Leon and I swear to- whatever you believe in if you leave our sight, it won’t end up pretty.”

Leon let out a whistle as the two stepped ahead of you, you felt like a toddler. But the fear bubbled in you once more as you all walked into the room seeing Chris’ friend Rebecca strapped to the table. Her veins popping, her skin so pale. It made your stomach turn as Chris pulled her from the table, her groaning as he helped her to her feet.

——

Chris had mentioned something about finding a vaccine, and kept repeating the details over and over to you as you and him helped carry Rebecca to wherever you were going.

“Wait i’m not understanding Chris, Why-“

A bullet shot passed your leg, brushing it leaving a small chunk of your leg bare and bloody, a loud shriek leaving your lips as your grip on Rebecca got loose. You grabbed Rebecca's arm firmly, throwing it over your shoulder as Chris looked over the ledge. He knew what he had to do, he looked at Rebecca then back to you.

“Please remember what I asked of you.”

He was so fast, it’s scary actually.

“Here we go, let’s lay you down..”

You spoke softly to Rebecca as you propped her against the wall. Rebecca coughed, grabbing your arm as you went to turn away, but was too weak to speak. Though your leg was pouring blood, your pants ripped. You ran towards the staircase, listening to the groans and gunfire coming from Chris’ area. You shoved your way past the doors, looking down the long spiral staircase

“Mother fucker…”

You whispered to yourself before taking your first step down the steps which eventually led you right to the room as Chris described. Out of breath, grabbing at your ribs, the doors automatically opened. A small smile on your face as you went to grab at the green tank Chris had preached to you. Before you could pick it up you heard the noise of stomping behind you, finding whatever the fuck that thing was towering over you as you held the tank to your chest. A scream left your lips as you ducked as fast you could, sprinting towards the stairs before you made it back towards the entrance of the staircase, hearing the glass above you shatter. You closed your eyes and sprinted your way up the steps, trying to ignore every loud crash and bang filling your ears.

——

Still completely out of breath- you finally got back to Rebecca, your skin pale and your hands shaking as you pulled her legs to allow her to lay down, connecting the machine to your best ability. She stared up at you with shallow breaths before her eyes closed. You let out a string of curse words as you gently lifted her head, connecting the mask to her face and pressing the button on the machine. You flinched, your body covering over Rebecca at the sight of Leon and Chris fighting this horrendous monster, your vision getting blurry as you sat back, beside Rebecca, looking down at where you had been shot.

“Okay.. okay..”

You whispered as you pulled the belt off your waist from your pants, trying to tighten it around your thigh but failing. You’d never felt pain like this. You were normal, this wasn’t normal for you. Everyday you wake up, you mix the oat milk into your bitter coffee and you do paperwork, all. day. long. Maybe meeting Chris wasn’t the right thing, maybe you should’ve just stayed home today, Maybe you shouldn’t have even moved to New York. Flashbacks of you and your dad arguing filled your head as your fingers grazed over your open wound once again. You fluttered your eyes open, smiling as Rebecca’s color started to come back. At least somebody important like her could live, important people like Chris- like Leon. They live, boring people like you die to assist.

—-

You were passed out and don’t remember much. But Chris does.

Chris helped Leon up, staring down at the timer on his watch letting out a yell of Rebecca’s name as he ran towards where he left the two of you. His chest aching at the site of your belt loosely laid around your thigh, but Rebecca laid quietly, her breathing steady and the vaccine was given to her. Chris groaned as he lifted you up, holding you to him. Stranger, sure. But somebody with your drive is needed.

—-

The sounds of beeping woke you up, a sharp breath leaving your nose as your eyes opened. The heart monitor went off as you sat up. Oh? A hospital?.. Your hand reached up to feel the beating of your heart, sighing in relief before a pair of heavy boots ran into the room followed by another… and another.

“Chris?”

You coughed, your voice was weak from not speaking days on end. It turns out you weren’t just shot in the leg, but in the side too. And when Rebecca reached out for you, it’s what she was trying to tell you. Chris wore.. somewhat normal clothing, leaning on the bed frame you laid on, watching Rebecca leave the room.

“Thank you, for what you did. You don’t understand you are a Hero-“

You cut Chris off, pointing to him.

“No, Chris. I’m not you. I watched you and Leon in actual shock.. I mean- my dad was a police officer but never have I seen stuff like.. well, that.”

You rambled, looking at the man in front of you. He stared at you in what admiration?

“You have to brainwash me now huh, or kill me, either one”

You joked as you laid your head back against the pillow. You gasped, your hand flying to your mouth as you pointed out the window to the city. Chris nodded but laughed.

“I’m sorry your flat was destroyed but, my organization wants to fund you with permanent housing till we can figure out a situation for you.”

Chris walked around the bed and sat down on the chair next to your bed, your head turning to him.

“Oh so, I’m gonna be a prisoner..”

You teased before he handed you a pair of keys.

“By my organization I mean me, you’ll be staying with me. You’re welcome.”

——-

Chris Redfield. A man of his word. You grew fond of him way too quickly, waking up in the morning to him leaving for the day but as he walked out the door he let you know he made you coffee and bought oat milk and it’s in the fridge. He was rough on the outside but he was an angelic man. He cared for so many people, and he doesn’t like to admit the trauma he has faced. Nights where the two of you sit eating dinner and he tells you stories of all the places he has been. You could see the pain in his eyes though and it made you feel for him. You wish you could hear what he went through, but even from what you saw, it’s too much.

——

You set the table and all, making dinner for Chris and you put your whole heart and soul into it. He comes home at 9:30 every night, so everything was ready and you wore the nicest shirt you own that Rebecca had let you borrow but you still were nervous.

Chris never showed up though, and you sat at the table, tears filling your eyes as you watched the door in silence. You hadn’t even realized you fell asleep till you heard the door slam open, your head lifting off the table to see Chris walk in, his face cut up and dirty. You could see the moment his face dropped seeing you had prepared something nice, for him.

Immediately standing you ran to the kitchen grabbing a wet towel before walking back to Chris.

“What happened Chris? Jesus..”

Chris allowed you to lead him over to the bathroom, sitting him on the toilet. Chris couldn’t help but smirk at you, the worried look on your face, your eyebrows frowned as you wiped at his face. Chris’ hand reached up, his thumb running across the dry tears on your cheeks. You turned your face away, continuing to wipe his face. Chris sighed, grabbing your hand, kissing your knuckle as he closed his eyes.

“When I go out like that, I get so scared I won’t come back and I will leave you wondering..”

Chris sighed as he took in your scent. Your eyes stared down at him, feeling your heart rate pick up as he brought your hand to his chest.

“And look at you.. you got dressed up and made me dinner? Just for me to leave you hanging.”

You shook your head at him, your hands cradling his jaw.

“No matter what time, no matter what day, even if it’s weeks, years. I’ll be here. I mean I do live here..”

You joked, your nose scrunching, causing Chris to let out a genuine laugh. Chris’ hands rested on your hips as you put the towel down, applying antibiotic ointment to his cheek and his nose. Chris watched you place the tube down, mentally screaming at himself as he stood, his hands holding your cheeks as he pressed his lips against yours softly. If you told anybody Chris was the type of man to allow his partner to put bandaids on his scratches and give them soft kisses in return, they would laugh at you. Chris broke the kiss, sighing as he looked in the mirror, his hand running over his scruff. He’s really acting like he didn’t just kiss you. You stood there, hands at your side as you watched him pull his shirt over his head.

“I love you Chris.”

You blurted out, your breath skipping as he looked at you from the mirror. Reminding you of when the two of you first met, him staring at you through that rear view window.

“I love you too.”

#resident evil #chris resident evil #chris redfield #chris redfeild fluff #chris redfield x reader #chris redfield fluff #chris redfield angst #Vendetta Chris #rebecca chambers #leon kennedy #Vandetta resident evil #Vandetta Leon #resident evil x reader #resident evil vendetta #thank you anon

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sapphire-weapon · 1 year ago

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You said that part of the fun of old fandom was making backstories for the characters. did you have one for Leon? what was it?

oh boy. this feels so... self-indulgent and cringey now in modern-day fandom, after having dedicated so much time to arguing what is or isn't canon and having to explain multiple times, at great lengths, that the mafia backstory is not canon and why it's not. my brain is just like "shut up and just be glad that people are starting to listen to you at all."

I've mentioned a few of them here and there sporadically over the past few months, so some of these are going to sound very familiar to people who have been following me for a while, but

this is basically the backstory I've come up with for Leon and have been using for mmmm around 20 years, give or take (though I tweaked some slight things to account for Remake Leon, which I'll also note):

● grew up in a suburb around the Hartford, CT area

● only child

● very religious/uptight Catholic mom, dad was basically Mike Cosgrove from Freakazoid

● like seriously, the personalities of his parents couldn't be more different, to the point where it almost doesn't make sense to anyone on the outside looking in how they ended up together at all. but his mom really loves how stable and grounded her husband is and appreciates his really awful sense of humor, and dad fell in love with his wife's cooking and the way she actually laughs at his jokes and the fact that she really believes in something greater than herself -- because he doesn't, and he wishes he did. they also share a taste in music, surprisingly.

● "Scott" is a family name, but Leon's dad was already "the third" and he was like "you really wanna put this kid through being 'the fourth'? that's stupid. just make it his middle name." Leon has never told a single person in his adult life this, but his parents and his very early childhood friends (up until about middle school) actually called him "Scottie" -- because "Scott" was his dad. (yes this headcanon was born directly from how funny I find the whole "Mr. Scott Kennedy" shit in OG RE4 and I'm not sorry) mom's name is Carol.

● mom was a middle school geography teacher (and CCD teacher). dad was a cop (he was bASICALLY COSGROVE)

● was always closer with his dad than his mom, despite the fact that his mom very clearly and very desperately wanted him to be a mama's boy. it wouldn't be quite correct to say that his mom was emotionally abusive, but she definitely didn't Get Him and very rarely actually listened to what he had to say -- she had a pre-constructed image in her head of the kind of person she wanted him to be, and anything that didn't fit that image was either questioned or ignored outright. (NOTE FOR REMAKE-VERSE LEON: this was even worse for Remake Leon, who has a lot more self-awareness than his OG counterpart and started to suspect that he may not be fully straight pretty early in life, even if his conservative upbringing didn't give him the language to express what, exactly, he was feeling. he had a crush on a boy once, vaguely mentioned it in a very roundabout way to his mom, and then spent the next like 10 years convinced he was going to hell. see here for a more in-depth explanation of how I view Leon's sexuality.) dad gave far less of a shit about who his kid was, so long as he wasn't doing dumb shit to get himself in trouble or arrested or something. as a result, Leon's really stupid sense of humor came from his dad, because they did spend a decent amount of time together. the two of them + Leon's uncle (dad's brother), who was maybe a little bit off his rocker, always went hunting once a year.

● was never super religious like his mom is, but still definitely believed. didn't pray regularly -- but prayed enough. he can pinpoint the exact moment that he lost his faith, though: when, while in Raccoon City, he first considered suicide -- and he realized that he was looking not to God for salvation, but to his gun. even as an adult, he won't outwardly classify himself as an atheist, but his general feelings towards God and faith are: "if God is up there, He's not listening anymore."

● wasn't ever super popular in school, but was never an outcast loser nerd, either. he was just kind of... there. he had his own little circle of skater kid/grungecore and metalhead friends, and they just kind of did their own thing.

● didn't actually start to get hot until senior year of high school and kind of thought that people were taking the piss when they started looking at him differently after he'd been so completely ignored as a dating/sexual prospect for so long. plus he had a girlfriend by then, and they'd been together for a while, so he didn't really think too hard about how other people were looking at him, anyway.

● he and his long-term high school girlfriend broke up before they both went off to college, mutually, just because they were going to different schools. (NOTE FOR REMAKE-VERSE LEON: OG Leon lost his virginity to that girlfriend at age 16; Remake Leon didn't. the Remake version of his girlfriend was too prudish to go all the way, but third base was a familiar friend.) this was to the great relief of the girlfriend's dad, who fucking hated Leon's guts and frequently told him that he would never marry his daughter (and once chased him out of the house with a shotgun, but that's a different story).

● played lacrosse in high school. didn't love it, mostly did it to put on college applications. actually wanted to play football, but his mom was adamant about not allowing him to (AND SHE WAS SUPER RIGHT HOLY SHIT DON'T LET YOUR KIDS PLAY AMERICAN FOOTBALL).

● dabbled in some arts stuff here and there in high school and college, but never in a serious way and never for any great length of time. he was more of a math nerd than anything else. but he spent like, half of a school year involved with the lit mag and, despite being a not terrible poet and short story author due to having an inherently romantic nature, dropped it pretty fast out of disinterest. tried being involved with the school paper, dropped that within a year due to disinterest. thought about picking up the guitar because some of his friends were musicians, but never committed to it. the only thing that ever stuck was an interest in film; he spent a decent amount of time in the A/V club and really enjoyed the editing process. probably would've majored in it in college if not for his far greater interest in criminal justice, so he just kept doing it on the side for fun. took some electives for it in college, at the very least, and worked on some student films. mostly horror films, which is ironic to him in hindsight.

● did not go into criminal justice because of his dad; it's just a coincidence that he ended up being interested in the same field that his dad worked. Leon has always had a problem with bullies and was that guy in high school who inserted himself into situations that didn't involve him, just to stand up for someone else. got in only a handful of fist fights as a result of this, and the extent of the scolding from his dad was "knock it off. quit screwin around. you screw around too much." in the most non-committal, "don't actually stop though" tone possible, followed by taking him to get burgers. his mom lost her mind any time he got sent home from school for fighting, though -- and the one time he actually ended up suspended was Literal Hell for that full week. but, either way -- for him, growing up with a very positive opinion of law enforcement to begin with, criminal justice seemed like a natural fit.

● beyond the few times he got in trouble for fighting (in fights he never started and always won), the worst trouble he ever got into was that time his mom found out that he and his friends snuck beer into a Green Day concert in 1994. that was also the first time she learned that her 17-year-old son was already drinking. he got grounded until graduation.

● overall was just a pretty good kid, though. constantly on honor roll. graduated college with a 3.7 GPA.

● mostly behaved in college, too, but he definitely went out and partied when he didn't have anything school-related to worry about. OG Leon partied way more frequently and way harder than Remake Leon did, though. OG Leon dragged his dick all over campus. Remake Leon had maybe a handful of drunken hookups (that still never actually got him laid) and spent most parties being that guy who was taking care of his much drunker friends. catch Remake Leon standing over one of his friends who has their face planted in the sand at a beach party like "hey man. you good? we can't leave yet. I gotta finish this beer." Remake Leon also made an excellent wingman.

● after getting hired at the RPD but before actually able to move out there (in late August, roughly), he did go out to Raccoon City to try to land an apartment so that he'd be ready once he actually did move. he filmed most of that week-long trip in a sort of self-documentary style and edited it all together with the intention of giving it to his parents before he left, in case they started to miss him -- so that they could see where he was and who he'd likely be hanging around with and all that stuff, because he is a Good Boy. he ultimately never finished the very last part of it because of the phone call he got to stay away from the city a week prior to his move, and he soon forgot he'd ever made something like that at all. his mom found it a few months later while cleaning up his room, which she did frequently as a grief response "so that it'll be ready for him when he comes home."

● to date, Leon's family and friends from back home think he died in Raccoon City. the CIA kept a tight leash on where he went and who he spoke to for the first four years of his captivity -- he basically didn't get freedom to live his own life until after Operation Javier. by the time he had the ability to call or visit home, he felt like it was too late -- that it'd be crueler to show up out of the blue after being "dead" for so long -- especially considering that he couldn't stay in their lives. he'd basically just be showing up to say "hey not dead" and then have to disappear again. so he just sort of... let it go. though, of all of the terrible things he's done in the time since then, this is the one thing that weighs heaviest on his conscience -- the one thing that he feels guiltiest about most often. but he continues to stay away, because he has nothing kind to say about the life he's lived or the man he's become. even if he were to go home now, he's convinced that his parents would not recognize their son.

● he doesn't know this, but there is an upright grave marker for him in a cemetery in his hometown dated 1977-1998. buried there is an empty casket with only a framed photo of him. his parents still lay flowers there twice a year: once on his birthday and once on the anniversary of Raccoon City's destruction.

#resident evil #resident evil 4 #resident evil 2 #leon kennedy #typing up some of this was kind of embarrassing and idk why #but thank u for the ask anon #my new D drive won't be coming in until wednesday so #i have nothing but time to answer long asks like this after work #pls keep sending them

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agonycrossbow · 10 months ago

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General Leon backstory headcanons

this feels so... self-indulgent and cringey now in modern-day fandom, after having dedicated so much time to arguing what is or isn't canon and having to explain multiple times, at great lengths, that the mafia backstory is not canon and why it's not. my brain is just like "shut up and just be glad that people are starting to listen to you at all."

but

● grew up in a suburb around the Hartford, CT area

● only child

● very religious/uptight Catholic mom, dad was basically Mike Cosgrove from Freakazoid

● mom was a middle school geography teacher (and CCD teacher). dad was a cop (he was bASICALLY COSGROVE)

● overall was just a pretty good kid, though. constantly on honor roll. graduated college with a 3.7 GPA.

#resident evil headcanons #leon headcanons

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birkink · 1 year ago

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i just watched welcome to raccoon city for the first time and…… im not even sure what that was supposed to be????? like genuinely, was it a parody? im so confused.

the characters were all legitimately useless? i was not getting future professional bioterror soldier vibes from any of them they were all pretty incompetent lmao

especially leon wtf i know he has a reputation for being the dumb one but omg the whole bullying aspect fell really flat i mean i get it they’re all assholes but what a strange choice for the protagonists???

the decision to have the first 2 games play out concurrently was actually very interesting and surprisingly well pulled off i’ll give them that. i love seeing raccoon city go up in flames.

but a casual viewer would watch and wonder wtf was happening, it was so disjointed??? the whole g virus thing lasted fifteen minutes????

the love triangle (i am cringing writing that)???? who thought that was a good idea, who wanted that??? what place does a love triangle have during a zombie apocalypse i mean seriously (see point 1). also not even a successful love triangle because:

i didn’t get the impression these people even liked each other 🤨 especially chris and claire, i know it was for tension but i kinda think zombies bring enough tension without unnecessary interpersonal conflicts.

if we’re not sold on the main four’s relationships with each other within the first half hour it’s probably never going to happen

wesker. wesker. who even was that guy in the movie??? he was not generic standoffish cold superior officer turned villain at all 😐

chris and sherry know each other? that was random

rip ada wong you might have saved this movie

the mansion was perfect tho i got real chills

what was the plan for the longevity? like, did they foresee this movie doing well, or was it never meant to be that serious? because someone financed this movie……

AND someone paid close attention to the details, because there were so many little easter eggs that casual viewers would never catch, which makes me think they wanted this to be a faithful adaptation

but again, the characters, who were those guys? jill valentine, never heard of her 🙃

i liked the special effects and the gore et al, as a horror movie it was fine, there were some great tense moments, but the true horror of resident evil is not supposed to be the zombies or the monsters at all??? that’s like the whole point??? it was touched on with the whole “dying town” thing, but that was so clumsy omg.

one day we will get a half decent live action adaptation, but it will probably not come in the form of a movie financed by a multinational corporation with vested interests in cheap gory horror, please sony stop trying for the love of god

#hbo im looking at you 👀#resident evil #welcome to raccoon city

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lipglossanon · 3 months ago

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have you played re6 with your husband? ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-

; 🍁

Hiiii 🍁 anon! 👋

And surprisingly no! 😂 I’ve only played it maybe twice (I honestly need to replay it but then that means I gotta dig out the Xbox 🤣).

RE6 is imo a weird entry; I remember liking Sherry and Jake’s segments with Leon and then Chris’ just being okay. Like I don’t outright hate it like some people do, but it’s pretty weak in terms of an RE game.

RE5 is a lot of fun to play even by myself (although the AI is dumb as hell; I usually play Sheva and have Chris as my ammo and spare gun holder 😂 plus I love Sheva’s outfits more than Chris’; they need to bring that back in RE games).

Sorry for the rambling answer lmao

#ask box #🍁 anon #lipglossanon #lipglossanswers

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fuzzyclaws · 9 months ago

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My dad has recently beat Dr1

So my dad has gotten danganronpa decadence on the switch and he beat danganronpa trigger happy havoc,so I though I'd share my dad's thoughts on the characters along with the weird nicknames my dad has given to them (also he doesn't know I've already played all of the games at a friend's house over the summer soo)

Makoto Naegi(Protagonist,lucky dude)

My dad seemed to like him,although he didn't like how dumb he was

Kyoko Kirigiri(the smart one,purple)

He loved her,like he was so thankful that she was smart,he said she was his third favorite

Byakuya Togami(Bastard,glasses,Snob,dude who messed with a dead body,least favorite)

He absolutely despised Byakuya,like my dad had a whole vendetta against this man,second least favorite

Sayaka Maizono(Blue,the dead one)

My dad didn't really care for her,although he does understand why she broke and was the first on to try and kill

Mukuro Ikusaba(Model girl,Soldier)

He found her cool,loved the fact that she was a soldier like he used to be

Leon kuwata(Baseball,college frat boy)

He didn't like him,hence he he called him collage frat boy

Chihiro fujisaki(Computer chick/dude)

He found Chihiro slightly annoying for crying a lot,but he warmed up to him,fourth favorite

Mondo Owada(no nickname just Mondo)

His favorite guy,every freetime event he hung out with Mondo,he stopped playing for a weak when Mondo died,Favorite

Kiyotaka Ishimaru(Mondo's boyfriend,Army)

He didn't like Kiyotaka,he found him annoying,plus according to him he acts like some dudes in the army

Hifumi Yamada(Nerd,Man who likes a computer)

He was neutral on Hifumi up until Hifumi one missgendered alter ego,and two fell in love with the computer,

Celeste Ludenburg(goth,Bitch)

He hated her,he said and I quote "I wish this bitch would die." So yeah,Least favorite

Sakura Ogami(Also no nickname)

He loved Sakura,she was cool to him,hung out with her after Mondo died,Second favorite

Toko Fukawa(Ugly purple on)

He did not like her,but she moved up on his list when Genocider showed up

Genocider(Cool purple one,Genocider)

He found Genocider funny as hell,got mad when he realized that he'd have to hang out with Fukawa to get her freetime events

Yasuhiro hagakure(Weed,Stupid,Dumbass,Idiot,the man who should die)

Did not like him,and was very surprised that he lived,every chapter he was like "Okay so the dead one is (insert nickname)" and then got shocked that he lived

Aoi Asahina(My irl name,Goldfish,Sakura's girlfriend)

He liked that she was a swimmer,that's why one of her nicknames is just my name. Said she had the memory of a Goldfish

Junko Enoshima(Mastermind,Real model girl)

Didn't like her,he also just didn't have much to say on her surprisingly

#coming out as a danganronpa fan #posted this on reddit #Danganronpa #Spoiler ig #not warrior cats

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manysmallhands · 1 year ago

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Albums of the Year - The Lower Card

My plan is to do two album posts. The second one, which may or may not go up tomorrow, will be my top 10 albums of 2023 (not really ranked although i'll tell you which is the best one). This one is dedicated to the second tier of my favourite albums. These are the records that i liked a lot this year but which were either straightforwardly not as good as the top ten or slightly compromised in my appreciation of them somehow. A few are albums that I really liked but just haven't been arsed to listen to that much. Others are things that i first heard only recently and would say right now that they're as good as anything in the Top 10, only I haven't known them long enough to commit myself to that. Other reasons are perhaps more idiosyncratic but we'll come to that as we go along.

Baby Queen - Quarter Life Crisis

Arabella Latham - the Baby Queen herself! - skirts a tricky line between knowing and vulnerable on Quarter Life Crisis, sniping waspishly at the modern world one minute before opening herself up enough to leave me in tears. She brings it all off surprisingly well, with her cynical persona always shot through with enough charm to take the weight off of each tonal shift. Musically the album feels reminiscent of Sucker-era Charli, moving between 80s style pop and more modern ideas while occasionally working in a softer, indie-style palette. But its Latham’s vocals which are the star of the record, with her pointed barbs and semi-rapped confessionals by turns funny, relatable and deeply, desperately sad. Kid Genius annoyed me at first with its straightforwardly dumb internet critique but it soon became a highlight, with nods of hypocritical agreement marking every hit on the target. At the other end of the scale is the devastating ballad Obvious, where Latham's pain is shattering enough to cancel out every last knowing wink.

Caroline Polachek - Desire I Want To Turn Into You

Caroline Polachek’s vastly hyped second album is not quite the triumph for me that it is for others, but in all fairness I still liked it a lot. While many of the best songs (Bunny, Billions) were already familiar, euphoric club bangers like Smoke and I Believe proved that there were still some big pop moments left to be mined. The slower material was more subtle in its appeal but repeat listens gave life to tracks like the hymnal Hopedrunk Everasking too. For me the real issue with the album was an occasional excess of politeness, as songs like Fly To You rambled along anonymously to little notable effect. But Desire... is certainly a step on from 2020's lacklustre Pang and contains enough great songs to slot in comfortably alongside the best of Polachek's past guises.

El Michels Affair/Black Thought - Glorious Game

Following on from 2022's excellent Danger Mouse collaboration Cheat Codes, Black Thought took the obvious move this year and found another producer with a strong, idiosyncratic approach. Leon Michels switched things around - sometimes backing the Roots star with a live band, sometimes recording material to chop up for samples - in the course of creating a 70s soul/funk sound that’s not so much laid back as stoned beyond redemption. In keeping with these more nostalgic elements, the rhymes have gentler vibe here than on Cheat Codes, but Black Thought is still prepared to dig deep, dissecting highly personal memories and stretching into sharp social analysis. Unsurprisingly, his performances are as fiercely on-point as ever on an album that displays all of the rapper's warmth and brusque charm.

Free Love - Insides

Husband and wife duo Free Love’s second album is an extraordinarily eclectic business. Whilst staying within the broad tent of electronic dance music, they journey through wibbling ambient house, acid pop and droning experimentalism, keeping a spirit of adventure about them which sees each bold step as a fairly reasonable response to the last, even as they sometimes seem to come entirely out of the blue. While I can honestly say that Insides is never a dull record, it’s the Virginia Wing style dance pop that sticks in the mind most firmly, with Suzi Cook’s smart Glaswegian patter adding another element of mischief to an already stacked LP.

PinkPantheress - Heaven Knows

Heaven Knows is not really a great leap forward for PinkPantheress so much as a refinement and consolidation: while some of the rhythms have softened a bit and the tracks grown more accomplished, we’re still very much in the sad girl drum n bass territory that we’ve all come to know and love. But the melodies are as sweet as ever, the emotions perhaps even more sore and relatable and her ability to resonate at a wider level seems increasingly assured throughout. The hit single Boy’s A Liar Pt 2 combines video game style charm with a cracking Ice Spice cameo but it's only one part of the album's greatness, with Mosquito’s gentle happy/sad melancholy and the eerie atmospherics and fierce breaks of Capable of Love being the songs that stuck with me the most.

SZA - SOS

I’ve frequently enjoyed SZA’s sprawling RnB epic throughout the year but I can’t really say that I got to know it that well. It’s too long to me to sit down and listen to in one go, so I’ve tended to wander about with it on the mp3 player as bits of it drifted in and out of my consciousness. What has stuck is, first and foremost, the hits - we all know Kill Bill surely, and Snooze’s just slower than it ought to be vibe is also a highlight - as well as the surprising moments and deep cut highlights, of which the folky Too Late is the absolute queen. But I think what are perhaps my favourite moments are the lines where SZA gives us plainly too much information - “now I’m ovulating and I need raw sex!”, “I don’t get the dick that I deserve”, “I’m horny, like suck these!” - which have made me warm to her on a personal level and appreciate the messy lyrical weight of her talent. So if I’m honest, the reason I come back to SOS is to hear about SZA’s sex life: not in a prurient way - it’s too humdrum to be sexy - but just because I find how she talks about it extremely funny. Never let it be said that this blog is high-minded.

Tate McRae - Think Later

Despite the brace of fantastic singles that preceded it, my hopes really weren’t that high for Think Later, largely because of how shabby last year’s I Used To Think I Could Fly LP had been. Happily, Tate has shifted up her style and gotten a bit of attitude and, as a consequence, presents herself as a much more interesting figure across an album of far stronger material. Combining her already keen sense of melody with a succession of rattling beats, McRae feels more assured here, turning in a string of bangers full of soaring hooks which rarely fail to hit their mark. Greedy was a massive and well deserved hit but the supremely catchy Exes, the windswept ballad Stay Done or the rumbling, guitar driven We're Not Alike are all equally as good. In truth, the only reason I didn’t elevate this to the top tier is cos it’s only been out for a week or two and I was worried that I might change my mind up (like it’s origami).

The Clientele - I Am Not There Anymore

Much was made of the new directions on The Clientele’s seventh album. Computers were talked about, experimental cut up techniques: it all sounded very fancy in the abstract. And yet if I’m honest, I Am Not There Anymore sounds suspiciously like just another very good Clientele record: maybe a little different but not so you'd find it hard to tell who it was. Fables Of The Silverlink synthesised their classic sound with a glitchy modern approach and there was a dark, rumbling vibe to much of the first half of the LP which definitely felt expansive in its ambitions. But there was still plenty of room for the autumnal elegance of Hey Siobhan and I Dreamed Of You Maria, on a record that sounded enjoyably familiar even within that extended range.

The Mountain Goats - Jenny From Thebes

TMG’s return to the characters from All Hail West Texas may not have recreated its ultra lo-fi sound, but the key attributes of compassion and intensity were still placed front and centre. While perhaps not the most immediate of records, Jenny From Thebes repaid repeat listening, with its compelling storylines, John Darnielle’s deft, intelligent lyrics and, more than anything, his unsinkable ability to carry a song proving over time to be the album’s most important qualities. And stepping away from the bigger picture, Clean Slate, Fresh Tattoo and Same As Cash were powerful standouts which packed a huge emotional punch, songs as good as anything in The Mountain Goats’ long and illustrious catalogue.

U.S. Girls - Bless This Mess

After the relatively scattershot Heavy Light, Meg Remy spent most of Bless This Mess playing with squelchy synthetic funk, sounding for all the world like she’d time travelled back to 1981 and was living it up in an artist’s commune. But despite the close thematic focus, she was still able to vary her approach a little, moving comfortably between pounding disco bangers, warm RnB and gentle psychedelic rock whilst staying well within the sound template that she'd set for herself. So Typically Now’s twitchy paranoid pop and the extended floor filler Tux were instant highlights, but it was songs like the moving Covid ballad Screen Face that increased its emotional depth, drawing out themes of connection and separation while adding some welcome humanity.

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thepunkranger · 9 months ago

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Rating Resident Evil Men’s Marriageability

Note: I tried my best to be impartial with each of the men, regardless of my personal opinions

Chris Redfield

Pros

Loyal

Protective

Trusting

Wants to see the best in people

Strong

Anti-capitalist

Cares deeply

Prioritizes family

Ass that you could bounce a quarter off of

Cons

Smoker

Prone to bouts of depression

Definitely has PTSD

Drinks to forget

Literally solves his problems by punching

Married to his job

Rude to waitstaff

Keeps secrets because “it’s better for you not to know”

Blames himself for things out of his control

Canonically a bit of a slob

Overall Score: 5/10 - Could do worse, but could definitely do better. High potential of being a stereotypical “straight husband”

Albert Wesker

Pros

Rich

Attractive

Super strength

Super speed

Verified genius

Might destroy the world for you

Looks good in a leather jacket

Natural leader

One of only two RE men to canonically have sex

Cons

Violent sociopath

Might just destroy the world in general

Obsessed with power

Believes himself to be superior to all other beings

Turned himself into a giant worm monster

100% would track your phone

Withholds physical affection as a power play

Overall Score: 1/10 - At best you’ll exist as a bored but scared trophy spouse. At worst he’ll dissect you as part of an experiment

Leon S. Kennedy

Pros

Loyal

Kind

Affectionate

Caring

Silly sense of humor

Protective

Willing to be emotionally vulnerable

Always wants to do the right thing

Soft hair

Trusting

Goes out of his way to help people

Cares deeply about his friends

Strong

Flexible

Tries to make the best of any situation

Dog lover

Drives a motorcycle

Cons

Definitely has PTSD

Prone to depression

Bordering on/alcoholic Degeneration and up

Body belongs to the US government

A little dumb

Should not be behind the wheel

Overall Score: 8/10 - Potential to be an amazing, loving husband with therapy and support, but may fall into toxic or even self-harm tendencies if left unchecked

Carlos Oliveira

Pros

Sweet

Protective

Kind

Physically Affectionate

Supportive

Strong

Cares deeply about the people in his life

Skilled with his hands

Emotionally vulnerable

Trusting

Wants to be the best person he can be

Willing to break laws to help those he loves

Natural provider (acts of service love language 100%)

Verbally affectionate

Sense of humor

Laid back attitude

Gorgeous hair

Respects boundaries

Cons

Probably has unprocessed trauma

Will do Dumb Guy Shit™️

Trusts too quickly

Will throw himself into dangerous situations without thinking it through

Will probably make inappropriate jokes without thinking unless you tell him specifically not to

Likely wanted in multiple countries

Overall Rating: 10/10 - Literally marry this man immediately. He will be a good partner, good husband, and good father. May need reigning in occasionally, but it comes from a place of love

Luis Serra Navarro

Pros

Always has the best intentions

Cares deeply about his friends and family

Tries to do the right thing

Sense of humor

Highly intelligent

Extremely curious

Debonair

Charming

Good dancer

Chivalrous

Book lover

Good with his hands

Cons

Doesn’t open up easily

Tends to trust the wrong people

Smoker

Doesn’t think things through

Prefers fantasy over reality

Doesn’t always keep his word

Self-serving

Unprocessed trauma

Tends to deflect

Overall Score: 5/10 - Potential to be a great partner, but would take time and patience to get there (best outsourced to a therapist)

Jake Muller

Pros

Snarky

Literally designed after male models

Loyal

Will have your back

Affectionate once he opens up

Surprisingly good with kids

Drives a Motorcycle

Self-sacrificing

Looks amazing in black leather

Cons

Daddy issues

Self-sacrificing

Tendency to only do things that benefit him

Takes a long time to open up

Illegal drug use

Wanted by multiple governments

Would need to be forced into therapy if he went at all

Overall Score: 4/10 - German Shepherd partner vibes. Would be forever loyal to you if you broke through his walls, but only to you. Probably wouldn’t stop any (self-) destructive habits of his either

Piers Nivans

Pros

Kind

Trusting

Loyal

Nice to waitstaff

Appreciates good food

Cares about the emotional well-being of his loved ones

Not easily deterred

Cons

Self-sacrificing

Codependent tendencies

Most likely has unresolved trauma

Hotheaded

Overall Score: 7/10 - The potential is definitely there, however - like Chris - Piers winds up with a high likelihood for being a stereotypical “straight husband,” mainly due to his upbringing in a military family

Ethan Winters

Pros

Loyal

Trusting

Kind

Good with kids

Indestructible

Gentle

Protective

Never gives up

Would still love you if you were a worm

Not easily scared

Domestic

Creative

Good under pressure

MacGyver skills

Soft

Self-sacrificing

Cons

Mold

Bad luck

Arguably too trusting

Self-sacrificing

Thousand yard stare

Overall Score: 10/10 - Like Carlos, marry this man immediately. Second only RE man to canonically have sex and the only one to get married. Just hope you don’t have a penicillin allergy

#resident evil #biohazard #leon kennedy #chris redfield #leon s kennedy #carlos oliveira #albert wesker #ethan winters #jake muller #piers nivans #luis sera navarro #luis serra #chris resident evil #re8 village #re4 remake #resident evil 6 #re3 remake #please get these men some therapy #tw sh mention

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umbrellascreation · 1 year ago

Text

1.) he will cry. Any minor inconvenience will do that.

2.) tea. His comfort drink is lavender tea 😌

3.) his room, dark and full of soft things and warm colors.

4.) homophobia or transphobia, none of it is ok. He was put through it a lot by his family and pretty much all throughout school.

5.) Jax, only people who are close enough to him can call him that.

6.) fluff books, he usually reads horror books though. His favorite book is welcome to the dark house. He and Garth have the same trauma ;-;

7.) comes off as shy but he’s like a closed off and kinda rude to most people. Once you get to know him though he’s incredibly sensitive and vulnerable emotionally.

8.) very friendly if you know him…if not good luck.

9.) deadnaming and misgendering do all of those in that order. Depending on who you are, he can have a short fuse. In all bigotry pisses him off.

10.) dick jokes. Laughs at the word balls every time 😅🤣 (me too)

11.) likely falls for them but hates them.

12.) depends, ofc basic hygiene, eats well, but let me tell you he hurts himself on accident all the time.

13.) big hoodie and shorts at home, ripped and grungy clothes otherwise.

14.) both 💀 he can be very complex and deep, prolly make you have some form of crisis. But most of the time he’s a simple little man.

15.) eyes, their pretty and green, also always have deep purple bags under them (go to sleep my boy damn)

16.) a love interest, no judgment whatsoever, he does a lot of dumb shit and he would appreciate if somebody thought it was cute. In a friend, same thing, but willing to do the dumb shit with him :D

17.) he’s really soft for his partner (working on making them) his dad, and his best friends. And yes, poor bby has a hard time making friends.

18.) either "A Place Where Everybody Knows Your Name Is Hell. You’re Describing Hell. or "I've Only Had Arlo For A Day And A Half, But If Anything Happened To Him, I Would Kill Everyone In This Room And Then Myself." for his partner.

19.) when he was fourteen, he was in a bad relationship not only with the person he was with all the time but pretty much everyone, and his parents pretty much convinced him he was useless…

20.) a blue squishmallow named Leon, a Chris redfield figurine, and a brown teddy bear.

21.) cigarettes… by that happen too often 💀

22.) goes between eating a LOT to just about nothing all day.

23.) either cherry cheesecake or spaghetti :)

24.) he’s a very talented musician, playing guitar, oboe, clarinet, saxophone, and flute (mamas so proud 🥹)

25.) he’s had a lot of issues starting up relationships and saying he’s wrong. It takes him a while to own up to it if he isn’t called out for it. If he is, he’ll cry.

26.) two cats: mooshy and maid, a ferret: majora, and a bunny: gear

27.) both, when their young sweet and innocent, has ten ‘adopted’ kids, when the pay hid ten, their evil.

28.) he’s on Pinterest and discord a lot, he avoids twitter and Tim too as much as he can.

29.) very un organized but he is clean.

30.) does not do well with bad chaos, all for good chaos though, the kinda friend who will wear a traffic cone on his head at two am with you >:D

31.) bunny mask 😌 they hees favorite. If not a phantom of the opera mask, he’s obsessed with that movie.

32.) a dress with a tux coat, he be lookin good fr fr.

33.) again comes off as shy but is cold if you try to approach him but is really soft if you’re close to him.

34.) he drives, he’s surprisingly calm but is blasting music 24/7.

35.) again someone who can understand him and preferably someone tender.

36.) loves the villain type, also attracted to slashers. He adores Tiffany and Dbd ghosty.

37.) don’t know who would kidnap him but he’s very resourceful and clever, he’ll be outta there In no time.

38.) video games or reading, though one calms him down and the other pisses him off royally.

39.) he used to like Undertale and still do. He just a papyrus kinnie tho.

40.) he deck them. Ain’t nobody mugging his friends >:(

41.) seriously offended but will gladly do it back.

42.) no, doesn’t think it’s any different from any other day.

43.) chaotic neutral, Hes chaotic but he’s a good boy, but also not too good.

44.) slitherclaw, can’t figure out which one.

45.) Virgo.

46.) he has religious trauma and no religion. Ne doesn’t like to think about it. Also has trauma linked to superstition so definitely not.

47.) confused and weary, if it’s someone he trusts he’ll accept it immediately.

48.) yes so easily for all three. He sensitive leave he alone

49.) biggest is neither loosing those close to him or physical pain. Most irrational is other people.

50.) he’s either a night owl or sleeps all the time. In between light and heavy sleeper, and just doesn’t have dreams.

😮‍💨 that was a lot lol sorry if it’s too much but @gh0stedcupid I’d love to know about your ocs!

Oc Asks Game

So I decided to make this because I want to get to know my OCs better and all of yours as well. Here is a short collection of asks but here is the rule: Reblog from somebody and you have to send them an ask, its only polite after all.

What is your character's reaction to a minor inconvenience? Such as getting their jumper caught on a door handle?

Tea, coffee, hot chocolate or other?

What does their safe space look like?

What do they consider to be an unforgivable action? Why?

Do they have any nicknames or pet names or other aliases?

What kind of books comfort them? What books help them heal after a hard day?

Are they a naturally assertive person or are they painfully shy?

Do they consider themselves a friendly person or aloof?

What is your character's trigger point? What makes them angry, sad or makes them go off?

What kind of jokes make them laugh?

Do they enjoy pranks or do they hate them? Are they likely to fall for a prank?

Are they an overall healthy person? Do they make for a good patient or a terror?

Describe your character's typical wardrobe for the regular day.

Are they a simple person to please or difficult?

What is the first thing people notice about them?

What do they look for in a friend? A love interest?

Who are they soft for? Do they find being soft easy or difficult?

Describe your character through a Brooklyn 99 gif or line.

What does your character consider to be their lowest point?

Does your character have a comfort item?

What would be one item that they would hate to lose most?

What are their eating habits like? Do they snack throughout the day? Or do they eat sparsely?

What is your character's favourite food and who cooks it best?

What are your character's special skills?

What are somethings they find difficult to do? Or say?

Are they an animal person? Do they have pets?

What are their opinions on children? Do they view children as sweet angels or evil crotch goblins?

If your character was in today's world, what social media platforms would they avoid? Or be prominent on?

Are they an organised person? Or more laissez-faire?

Do they dwell better in chaotic situations or more linear situations?

Your character has been invited to a masquerade ball. What mask do they wear?

Your character is having a prom night/debs. What kind of outfit do they wear?

How do they act around people they don't know? Are they shy around strangers or dismissive of them?

Can your character drive? If so, what kind of driver are they? If not what's their preferred manner of transport?

What attracts your character to another person? What kind of person do they do for?

Tell us something about your OC that doesn't make it onto the page?

Your character has been kidnapped. Who has kidnapped them and how do they escape?

How does your character unwind after a long day?

What's your character's guilty pleasure?

Your character's friend has just been mugged. What's their reaction?

Your character has been punched into the face. What's their reaction?

Does your character celebrate their birthday? If not, why?

What is the DND alignment?

Hogwarts House?

Star Sign?

Does your character believe in anything? Religion? Superstition?

What is your character's reaction when someone does something nice for them?

Is your character easy to make cry? Or angry? Or annoyed?

What is your character's biggest fear? Most irrational?

How does your sleep at night? Are they a heavy or light sleeper? Do they dream or have nightmares? Do they find it easy to sleep or are they more a night owl?

7K notes · View notes

bitsandbobsofwriting · 3 years ago

Text

Merlin goes home for a little while, determined to enjoy a well-earned vacation;

Camelot immediately falls apart, with the sole exceptions of Guinevere and Gaius.

Merlin knows Arthur really well.

Which just means he knows exactly how to get him to let his servant go home for two weeks to visit his mother and relax a little:

“You just don’t want me to go because you know you can’t cope without me! Look, if you want to come with me, that’s fine, but you’ll struggle just as much there as you would here because I refuse to act as your servant in my own home.”

Arthur turns red, looking outraged as he loses the ability to speak. Merlin turns around before The King can see his satisfied smirk, tidying around the prat’s chambers with exaggerated annoyance as he just waits for the inevitable-

“Fine! Go! See if I even notice that you’re gone! Honestly, Merlin, the running of the Kingdom will probably end up going smoother without you here to mess things up, you bumbling idiot.”

Merlin grins to himself before schooling his face back into annoyance and turning around with a huff, crossing his arms petulantly:

“Fine!”

The servant decides that he’d better leave, what with the way he was struggling to keep the victorious grin from his face, so without waiting for a response, he “storms” from the room, slamming the door behind him as dramatically as he’s able when he hears Arthur yell:

“FINE!”

Merlin sets off at the beginning of the next week. Gaius had raised a disapproving eyebrow when his ward had told him how he’d gotten Arthur to agree to such a long vacation, but didn’t say anything. They both knew that the elderly physician thought it was funny.

Gwen and Morgana make sure to see him out of the castle gates with big hugs, and whilst all of the knights were meant to be training, it came as no surprise to anyone when Gwaine slacks off for half a candle-mark to say goodbye as well. Mordred shoots him a quick goodbye across their mental link as the servant walks away from the city, after promising Merlin that he would warn him if anyone was in any serious danger (”Serious danger only, Mordred, I mean it. If I get called home because Arthur is throwing some sort of tantrum, then I’ll act out your destiny for you.”).

Merlin’s journey goes smoothly. The world was hovering in the junction between Spring and Summer, but with a little magical manipulation, the Warlock had no trouble staying warm and keeping his feet beneath him on the uneven path. Unsurprisingly, the young man is a lot less clumsy when he doesn’t have to focus on keeping his magic locked away so tightly.

Two days after his departure from Camelot, his mother is greeting him outside her little house with a long hug and a wide grin, stroking a hand through his hair as she welcomes him home.

Coincidentally, that’s also about the time things started going to shit for everyone else.

It was just after noon when Elyan had to be carried to Gaius’ chambers, his whole body juddering as he struggles to draw breath, the lack of oxygen from his throat closing up mixed with the panic making his brain go fuzzy.

Percival holds him up from one side and Leon holds him from the other, the two of them bursting through the physician’s door just as Elyan’s eyes roll back in his head. Gaius looks up suddenly, obviously startled by the abrupt intrusion, but he swiftly focuses, eyes wide and assessing as he quickly points them to a patient pallet:

“What happened?”

The two knights lay him down as carefully as they can before standing out of the way as Leon forces out an answer, trying to catch his breath between words:

“I don’t know, servants brought lunch out whilst we were training so we stopped to eat and he just started... wheezing. We thought he was choking at first but he said he couldn’t breathe. Has... has he been poisoned? We stopped everyone from eating.”

Gaius had gathered a handful of odd looking dried leaves the moment Leon mentioned the food, recognising the symptoms of an allergic reaction and putting two and two together immediately. He crushes them in his hands quickly, knowing he didn’t have time for a proper mortar and pestle as he shoves the crumbs into Elyan’s mouth, following through with a vile of something green and gross-smelling

He massages the odd concoction down Elyan’s throat as best he can around the swelling, and lets out a relieved smile when the knight’s eyes blow wide open and he chokes slightly before swallowing it all, grimacing at the taste but breathing deeply as his airways open again.

Leon and Percival let out similar breathes of relief when Elyan begins breathing again, chuckling breathlessly at his disgusted groan. The door bursts open again before anyone can say anything, and Arthur strides in, his flushed cheeks and rumpled clothes implying he had sprinted across the castle in his panic.

He spots Elyan on the pallet, his deep breaths interspersed with the odd cough, and his eyes widen even further as he looks to Gaius for an explanation:

“A servant told me something was wrong, what happened?!”

The King loses a little of the tension in his shoulders when Elyan waves a thumbs-up in his vague direction, but still looks frantically between the two knights and the physician as he waits for an answer. Percival wordlessly moves to Elyan’s side, running a hand up and down the man’s arm as Leon looks to Gaius expectantly:

“He had an allergic reaction, likely to nuts in the food. He should be fine, but he needs a day or two of rest, and to come back to me immediately if his throat swells again.”

Arthur sags in relief, nodding his approval of Elyan’s needed bedrest, but Leon’s eyes go wide as he lets out a knowing noise:

“Of course! I forgot about his allergy, it hasn’t been an issue since we were kids.”

Gaius nods knowingly and begins reorganising the jars he had knocked over when the knights had startled him:

“Hmm. I imagine he watched what he ate carefully when he was travelling, but Merlin keeps an eye on all of your food now.”

Leon frowns slightly as he tilts his head in confusion, but Arthur beats him to the punch, asking incredulously:

“What do you mean, Merlin keeps an eye on our food?”

Gaius raises an eyebrow, holding in his smirk as he slowly replies:

“Well, Merlin is usually the one to bring food out to you when you train, is he not? And on days he can’t he always speaks with the kitchen staff to double check what food is going where. Sir Elyan is not the only one with an allergy, My Lord. Merlin always makes sure any food the seven of you are given is safe. He has a tendency to check the Lady Morgana’s meals as well, whenever he’s able.”

Arthur is too taken aback to reply, his mouth hanging open, but that is when Percival looks up from his place at Elyan’s side, a confused frown on his face:

“Why?”

Gaius doesn’t manage to hold his smile in at that, looking between the three knights, and Elyan, who has just about managed to regain his breath:

“To avoid situations like this, I imagine, and to check for poison. It’s not uncommon for assassins to try and lace the royal’s food with something or other.”

Arthur finally shuts his mouth, only to open it again, speaking slowly:

“So... Merlin checks all of our food?”

Gaius nods:

“Religiously, Sire.”

Leon and Percival just shrug, adding it to their list of Weird Things About Merlin That They Should Be Grateful For, and Elyan smiles goofily from his place on the bed (whether it was the lack of oxygen or something funky in the vial, the knight didn’t know, but he was definitely still feeling a little... odd), but Arthur just frowns deeper, muttering a distracted “Take it easy.” to Elyan before walking stiffly from the room.

The King makes quick work of the journey back to the council meeting, desperately trying to persuade himself that this was nothing to do with him not being able to cope without Merlin. Elyan was the one not coping, clearly. Merlin was still wrong and stupid and Arthur hadn’t even noticed that he was gone until Gaius brought him up (a lie, he missed him terribly, but shhh).

Leon and Percival look to Gaius in confusion when Arthur had almost stormed from the room, and the Physician simply smiles again, the amusement shining clearly in his eyes:

“Merlin persuaded Arthur to let him take a holiday by heavily implying that he couldn’t cope with Merlin’s absence.”

Percival snorts with laughter and Leon raises an eyebrow as he grins:

“Arthur took that as a challenge then, I suppose? Two days in and we’ve already got The King sprinting from meetings because a knight has collapsed from an allergic reaction... because Merlin wasn’t here...”

Gaius just nods, and Percival mutters an amused:

“This will be entertaining.”

Arthur steadfastly refuses to acknowledge that the next mini disaster, a few days later, was also down to Merlin’s absence.

Ok, so maybe it was because Merlin wasn’t here, but ultimately, it was Gwaine that messed up, not Arthur. So it didn’t count.

The knight came back from a night patrol that he’d taken with The King with an infected gash on his arm. Arthur grins teasingly as he describes to Gaius how the knight had tripped on a loose cobblestone and scratched his arm on the sharp edge of a stray cart at the beginning of the patrol, and Gaius hums disapprovingly as he unwraps the scrap of fabric Gwaine had used as a bandage:

“Did you not have any medical supplies in your pack? Or did you think it best to let it get infected so I had to wake an hour before dawn to deal with it?”

Gwaine swings his dangling legs back and forth from where he sits on Gaius’ table, pouting sheepishly as he admits:

“I looked, but there wasn’t anything helpful in there, usually the armoury-hands have them stocked up for the patrols, I guess they missed mine.”

Arthur rolls his eyes at Gwaine’s seeming ineptitude, but his scolding is interrupted before it even begins when Gaius shakes his head in disagreement:

“Hmm. The servants that work in the armoury only tend to check the packs every few weeks, and even then they only check if they need any repairs. Merlin is the one with easier access to patrol rotas, so he’s the one who stocks them up on a day to day basis.”

Gwaine just nods in understanding, as if he should’ve expected that, but Arthur’s smile drops as he unfolds his arms, getting over his annoyed speechlessness in a matter of seconds:

“You’re telling me that Merlin, my personal manservant, is responsible for all the knights’ patrol packs?”

Gaius finishes cleaning Gwaine’s wound, muttering a quiet apology when the knight hisses at the first poke of the needle, speaking slowly as he focuses on making sure the stitches were neat and uniform:

“No, Sire. Technically the knights are meant to take care of their own packs, but Merlin is a paranoid man, he likes to double check things to make sure everyone has what they need. I suppose some people got used to having it done for them.”

Gwaine winces abashedly, making a mental note to remind the others to check their packs before their next patrols, but Arthur rolls his eyes, crossing his arms again and immediately accepting that this little incident was therefore Gwaine’s fault, and not down to Merlin's absence.

The voice in his head sounded a little doubtful, but he ignores it, choosing instead to chide his rebellious:

“Do try to pay attention to your own responsibilities, Sir Gwaine, I’d hate to see something terrible happen to you because you’re unable to complete your own simple tasks.”

Gwaine just sticks his tongue out petulantly, looking away from The King before he can see the blonde’s rolled eyes. Arthur huffs at his childishness, turning around to cover his grin and speaking over his shoulder as he walks from the room:

“You will be on time for once, Gwaine, training starts in a few hours and I want to see you bright and early.”

Gwaine just smirks, waiting for the door to shut behind Arthur before moving his sly, curious eyes to the physician in front of him:

“He’s missing Merlin, then?”

Gaius just gives him a knowing glance before looking back down at the now stitched gash, gathering bandages:

“I’d imagine so, though he’d never admit it. Merlin implied that Arthur wouldn’t cope with his absence,-”

Gwaine interrupts him with a laugh:

“Hence his insistence that it was entirely my fault?”

Gaius nods wordlessly, and Gwaine snorts, shaking his head in amused disbelief.

Meanwhile, Arthur stalks back towards his chambers, eager to get out of his armour and get into bed; Gwaine had training in a few hours, but so did he, and he needed at least a little sleep. He purses his lips in annoyance as his gaze falls upon the clinical cleanliness of his room... George had been in then.

Look... Arthur being used to a slightly messy room did NOT mean he depended on Merlin. And Gwaine not being used to having to actually organise himself ALSO didn’t mean that Merlin was... ok. Maybe Gwaine relies on Merlin a little.

So that’s Sir Elyan and Sir Gwaine, two of The King’s most trusted knights, who can’t cope without Merlin. But Arthur is doing just fine. It’s been half a week and he is just. Fine.

Just fine.

It was the next day that things began going wrong a little more... drastically.

George wakes Arthur up for training on time because of course he does. Arthur had found himself losing out on a lot of sleep without Merlin insisting he go to bed at a reasonable time, and waking him up late; Merlin had gotten into the habit of snatching Arthur’s paperwork away and holding it out of reach until The King agreed to go to sleep, and somehow manages to fit Arthur’s entire morning routine into half a candle-mark. George would never snatch away Arthur’s paperwork, and he takes so much longer in the mornings meaning Arthur has to wake up earlier.

Not that Arthur would ever admit to enjoying his and Merlin’s unorthodox routines.

Eight more days to go, and he’s fine.

At least... that’s what he thought until a nameless guard approaches the training field, waving him over from his spar with Mordred. Arthur strides over quickly, annoyed at the interruption and nodding at the guard to speak as he drinks from his water-skin:

“My Lord, Lord Halbert and Lady Ethel have arrived. I believe they’re waiting for your presence in the courtyard.”

Arthur chokes, managing to turn his head to the side just in time before he spits a mouthful of water over the guards face. He quickly wipes his mouth and turns back to the pour armoured man with wide eyes:

“That’s today?!

The guard nods hesitatingly:

“Yes, Sire, would you like me-”

He’s interrupted when Arthur shouts a hurried:

“Fuck!” as he drops his water-skin and begins sprinting up the field towards the castle, desperately trying to calculate if he had enough time to wash and change before they got antsy with waiting. Probably not.

Seeing Arthur’s panic and hearing his loud curse, Leon hurriedly approaches the guard, putting a friendly hand on his shoulder as he speaks with a frown:

“Gavin? Is everything alright?”

The guard, Gavin, looks to Leon with a confused frown:

“It would appear that His Majesty... misremembered the date of Lord Halbert and Lady Ethel’s arrival.”

Leon’s eyes go wide and he glances quickly to the castle as he rushes out an exclamation identical to Arthur’s:

“That’s today?!”

Gavin just nods again, and Leon drops the hand from his shoulder, letting out a loud:

“Shit!” as he recreates Arthur’s sprint up to the castle, knowing that he was expected to be at The King’s side when welcoming guests. He doesn’t pause, even when he shouts:

“Lancelot’s in charge!” over his shoulder.

The knights all look to each other in amusement, but Lancelot quickly takes charge, running drills as if he had been doing it his entire life and trusting that, whatever it was, Arthur could get things sorted. And if Arthur couldn’t get things sorted, then Leon would get things sorted. And if Leon couldn’t get things sorted, then Merlin would... oh.

He glances worriedly to the castle just as Leon falls through the door, not bothering to shut it behind him in his panic. Oh.

Arthur lets out the deepest breath of relief he thinks he’s ever experienced when he sees George ahead of him in the corridor; he gestures him over hastily, making the servant jog to keep up with him as he continues his fast pace down the hall:

“I don’t care how many other servants you have to pull from their duties, but I need the castle prepped for Halbert and Ethel’s arrival right now.-”

Arthur barely pays attention to George’s faltering step of shock, just stops suddenly in front of the door that leads down to the courtyard, turning to the servant and putting both hands on his shoulder as he stares at him intensely, face flushed and breathing harsh:

“I need you to do this for me, George. Prepare guest chambers, send someone down to show them to the right rooms, and make sure the Kitchens know they’re feeding two extra nobles for three days, starting today. If you can organise all of that in the next two minutes, I’ll give you a raise and a Godamn hug, you hear me?!”

George gulps, his shoulders tense, his face pale, and his breath frozen in his lungs as he meets Arthur’s frantic gaze with wide eyes. He gives a shaky nod, instantly turning and sprinting down the corridor without a word when Arthur lets go.

Leon skids around the corner, moving to stand next to Arthur with his hands on his knees as he attempts to catch his breath, speaking in a slight wheeze:

“I... I left Lance... in charge.”

Arthur nods in approval, pulling Leon to stand before holding his hands out to the side, presenting himself for inspection. Leon takes one last deep breath, smoothing the training tunic over Arthur’s shoulders, attempting to rub the dirt from his nose, and brushing a quick hand through his hair before stepping back and holding his own arms out. Arthur pulls a leaf from behind his ear, but is otherwise satisfied, and the two of them turn to the door, schooling their faces and stepping down into the courtyard.

Arthur has a calm, welcoming smile on his face, and Leon stands stiffly behind him, hand on the sword that he luckily had on his hip as he stares blankly ahead.

The nobles seem taken aback at The King's state of undress, but don’t say anything, covering their shock quickly. Arthur’s hoping that his friendly attitude will just give the impression that he’s...approachable and slightly laid back, as opposed to just an idiot who forgot they were coming because no one had reminded him.

Gods. Merlin can never know about this.

Thankfully, the next three days went smoothly, or at least as smoothly as possible after Arthur spent an hour rifling through his old mail to try and figure out the original reason for Lord Halbert and Lady Ethel’s visit (watching their eldest’s knighting ceremony, and discussing with Arthur the potential for their youngest to move to the city to become a squire).

He waves them off in a much more regal manner than he had welcomed them, and keeps his promise to George, upping his pay slightly; though he exchanges the hug for an awkward pat on the shoulder, which he thinks both of them were grateful for.

He’d successfully made it through nine days. Semi-successfully. He’d just about made it through nine days.

Five more to go. But Arthur was feeling fine about those five days. He’d double checked all his mail, and made sure to find out when his patrols were scheduled.

Which is... unknown to Arthur, where the next problem stems from.

Arthur wasn’t the one to rota the patrols, he really didn’t have the time to sit down with a list of names and hours and times and maps and organise everything fairly, it was difficult and time-consuming, but he made sure that Leon knew exactly how many hours he could give up for patrol each week.

Apparently, the communication between Leon and the council was normally handled by Merlin, who wasn’t there. So whilst Arthur was enjoying a solo patrol along the city borders at noon, waving at citizens and making his horse do tricks for giggling children, the council were sitting around the table, waiting rather irately for his arrival.

Now normally, this could’ve been easily dealt with, but when the same guard from three days ago gallops over to inform him of the problem and take over his patrol, Arthur was reminded rather suddenly that Merlin was always the one that came up with sensible sounding excuses.

(He also makes a mental note to avoid that guard forever out of embarrassment.)

This was one of the very rare occasions when Arthur simply glares the council into submission. Normally he likes to work with them; he hates to feel like they're just doing what he wants because they were kissing his arse, but he has no excuse other than “I forgot.” and he felt like that was worse than just.. acting like a bit of a dick for five minutes.

So... yeah. Merlin wasn’t there to reorganise the council meeting around Arthur’s patrol, and then also wasn’t there to come up with an excuse for why it wasn’t reorganised.

Arthur makes it ten days before he admits to himself that perhaps he relies on his manservant just a little too much.

Four days later, Arthur had missed another council meeting (despite his best efforts), Lancelot and Mordred had accidentally insulted some visiting Lord (and had therefore been told not to leave their rooms until he had vacated the city), and Gwen was no longer speaking to him, on account of The King being a dick without realising because Merlin wasn’t there to rein in his ego and... well... dickishness. That, and his crown had somehow gone missing between yesterday morning and now.

(If that last one had happened even a week prior, Arthur would’ve been adamant that it had been stolen or something else equally not-his-fault, but with how quickly he’d been made aware of his apparent bad memory and social clumsiness, he had every faith that he’d just misplaced it, and Merlin would know exactly where to look.)

Arthur was sitting on the courtyard steps, tunic unlaced at the top and hair a mess when his servant finally, finally walks through the castle gates. The King perks up slightly, but refuses to give Merlin the satisfaction of being run to, so forces himself to remain in place. He was especially glad that he’d made that decision when he saw Guinevere spring over to greet him. He has a feeling she won’t be all that... welcoming, at least not yet.

Merlin wraps her in a tight hug and Arthur forces down the swell of jealousy in his lungs, especially when he laughs brightly and pulls back to clasp her shoulders. Arthur sees Gwen’s face fall at a question Merlin had asked and he gulps, biting his lip when Merlin frowns and raises an incredulous eyebrow at her response. She points in Arthur’s direction, and The King’s eyes go wide as he rapidly stands, failing miserably at looking as though he weren’t staring in their direction. Guinevere rolls her eyes before giving Merlin one last hug and walking very deliberately in the opposite direction to Arthur.

Merlin marches towards him, slight annoyance mixing with a secret eagerness to check on Arthur speeding up his normal pace significantly. Before the servant can say anything, Arthur grabs his wrist, pulling him up the steps and through the castle without a word, tugging harshly every time Merlin opens his mouth to demand an explanation for himself or an apology for Gwen.

When they finally reach his chambers, Arthur quickly locks the door behind him, whirling on an angry Merlin with flushed cheeks and a desperate look in his eyes:

“I swear Merlin, I will never doubt you again, but Elyan almost died, Gwaine got an infection, Leon and I forgot about Ethel and Halbert, Lancelot and Mordred are essentially under house arrest, I missed two council meetings, lost my crown, and now Gwen’s not talking to me. You’re never allowed to leave me again.”

Merlin freezes in place, staring at Arthur with wide eyes and an open mouth for a few moments before he bursts into laugher. Arthur huffs, crossing his arms as his blush deepens, but waits patiently instead of demanding that Merlin stop. Honestly? He may have been laughing at Arthur, but it was still the most beautiful sound The King had heard in two weeks, and he’d definitely missed it. Which is... something to think about at a later date.

Merlin finally relents, his dimples showing prominently as he holds in another round of giggles at Arthur’s red face. The servant drops his pack to the floor, stepping forward and not giving Arthur time to move away before he pulls him into a tight hug, sighing contentedly at the warm contact:

“I missed you too, you prat. You’ll just have to come with me next time and we can leave Gwen and Gaius in charge.”

Arthur huffs out a gentle laugh, finally wrapping his arms around Merlin’s middle tightly and burying his face in the slightly taller man’s hair:

“I did. Miss you, I mean. And I also mean it when I say you’re never going anywhere without me again, this has been a nightmare.”

Merlin snorts, tightening his grip on Arthur as if he were trying to squeeze all of the stress out of him:

“Co-dependency isn’t the healthiest thing in the world, you know.”

Arthur just huffs, refusing to let go as he petulantly responds:

“I don’t care. I’m The King, I can do what I want.”

Arthur can almost feel Merlin rolling his eyes, but the servant just laughs again and seems to nod in agreement:

“Hmm. That excuse is going to come back to haunt you one day. Heard you gave George a raise?”

The blonde tenses in embarrassment, now refusing to pull away so Merlin wouldn’t see his pink cheeks:

“Uh... yeah. He cleans too much and is shit at coming up with plausible excuses, but he did save my arse a few times.”

Arthur can feel Merlin’s laugh vibrate through his ribcage, and though the man was usually rather touch averse, he found he never wanted the feeling to stop. He found himself hoping that Merlin felt the same when The King chuckles at his response:

“Oh yeah? Does that mean I get a raise for being good at excuses and bad at cleaning?”

THE END!!!

Literally wrote this in one day so... sorry if it’s bad😅

Had no clue how I was going to end it until I got there, my thought process essentially just went “Hugs? Yeah. Hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs.” :D

Same as always lads, you wanna write it out in full or remix it or whatever, go for it, just drop me a message and credit/tag me :)

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