#gah my heart my soul take it all

[reading-is-an-escape]

"If we ever end up having to make a cruel choice, I'll choose you. Because I know that losing someone I love is worse than losing myself. Please don't resent my choice. Please forgive me for condemning you to the same hell I went through."

Dohee's letter to Guwon

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

Yandere! Butler x Noble! "Villain/Villainess"! Gn! Reader

Ah. I just reread Beware the Villainess for the nth time so expect our yandere for the day to be heavily inspired by Nine!

Yandere Butler name: Zero (get it? Cuz Nine's name is a number so I made our yandere's name Zero--)

notes (not really TW): slight nsfw, yandere is being used by reader, also, a bit of manipulation and breeding by the yandere (Since there is breeding, womb is present in reader.)

Zero had no qualms on making other people his priority.

He was made with that in mind, after all. Being a chimera, he was made by his creator to serve them and nothing more.

But, once Zero grew up to have a mind of his own, and having his own opinions, he was effectively kicked out of the lab. He begged and begged for his creator to take him back but to no avail.

"You were made to serve me unconditionally! But you dare question my experiments and the way I created you?! I'm your god! But you defied me, so scram!"

With a heavy heart and a lovely face filled with tears, he ran away.

He roamed the streets and promptly passed out on an alley.

Despite being a chimera, he was still built with human bodily functions. So the hunger, stress, thirst, and tiredness caught up to him.

When passerby's saw him, they turned a blind eye on him. Spitting on his body, rolling their eyes, ignoring them, or the worst of them all, pity him yet did absolutely nothing to help.

Maybe, this was his fate after all.

The punishment for going astray from his original role.

Until one day, a hand appeared in front of his face, offering him a safe place to stay.

It was you.

You were his savior, his grace, his god.

And he will do anything for you.

Anything.

Sobs can be heard from your room. It was so faint that only the keenest of ears can hear them if they strain it far enough.

You just got fooled by your fiancé, the prince, again. He called you to the palace to meet him, and you, being in love with him still, rushed to the palace with the best outfit you can wear.

But once you entered the sitting room, you saw him once more, making sweet, sweet love to a woman who wasn't you.

Ah, how many times did he do this again? Two? Three? Seven? Who counts anymore.

You were the foolish person who refused to let go of the prince and continued to torment his lover, deeming you the villain/ess in people's eyes for being opposed to "true love."

Is it really true love if it stemmed from adultery?

You always question yourself that. And it seems that even your own family is getting tired of your quick dropping reputation that's plummeting even faster than a meteorite.

You hate him. You hate him so much for making you love him. Your heart squeezes in pain as your short bursts of gasps of frustration filled your lethargic body as you continued to cry out to ease the dull ache in your soul.

You want revenge. You want him to eat shit. But how?

Zero knocked on the door. His hearing, being more advanced than a regular human, heard your sobs. He wanted to comfort you so bad, he wants to hug and kiss you, to make you forget the prince, to make you fall for him. He will not hurt you, so please give him a chance!

But Zero shook his head. "Presumptuous." He thought.

You opened your door, and Zero's heart squeezed also when he saw your tear stained face. He can see it in your eyes that you wanted revenge. You wanted to get back at the prince.

He gulped, nervousness eating him.

This is it. He can be of help to you.

He stepped forward, one, two. Then bent down to kiss your tears away. With a whisper on your ear that left shivers down your spine, his lovely and sultry voice suggested.

"Use me at your disposal, master. I am your one and only loyal servant, and I am willing to be your tool for your revenge."

His face lit up with love and lust as he saw your eyes sparking in curiousity.

"Yes, just use me." He grabbed your hand and pressed it to his warm, red cheeks. "You're my god, after all. I live to serve you."

"gah... huff... Ah..."

"Master... Hng... There, right... agh, there..."

Soft moans and gasps can be heard from the sitting room as two individuals engaged in what old conservative nobles would say, a sinful act.

"Rougher, master... Don't... Ah~ worry about... Me!"

Zero's voice can be heard, pleading his master, you, to take him more rougher and faster. You being on top of him, pressing down on his tall, lean, and muscular body that sweated with heat and speckled with bodily fluids, he looks so blissful and so euphoric.

You and Zero have been making rounds on the local gossip and tabloids. The noble y/n who's engaged to the prince has found a man? And it's their butler?!

Scandalous!

Outrageous!

But also, exciting!

Everyone loved the gossip. Everyone loved the drama. The prince had a lover, so why can't you?

People looked on the situation with keen and sharp eyes. They want more of this. Some suspected that this is all a ruse by you, the villain/ess of the prince's and his lover's relationship. They think you're faking your relationship with Zero!

But how can it be faked when you declined the prince's invitation to be his partner on the royal ball, and instead went with your hot butler? Some also saw both of you make out in the gardens!

How... SInful!

Yet people can't turn away!

And one of the people that can't turn away is the prince. He wants answers, now!

So he's running to your mansion and will demand answers.

But, what if he's the one to catch his own fiance/e making sweet, sweet love to their lover?

And what if, that lover, somehow manipulated the fiance/e into letting him breed a child in them?

Zero shakily touched your abdomen. It already has a slight bump on it as you continued to bounce on top of him. He grinned. His eyes dark, hazy, and full of obsession as he groaned from the pleasure. Your sounds of euphoric release also urged him to climax also inside of you once more.

"Yes, master." Zero said with a trembling voice, just coming down from his high. "I think, having this child between us will effectively make the prince finally end the engagement between you two."

Sweet, dumb you, only nodded with a shiver as you laid on top of him. You were totally convinced that this was the right choice and plan.

At first, you were apprehensive. After all, pregnancy? Isn't that too much? Also, he's a chimera. That's impossible.

But once you saw him experimenting on himself and applying alchemic practices on his own body to make the plan possible, you knew he would do anything to help you and serve you. So you agreed.

You got swayed that easily.

He smiled sweetly. His lovely and innocent face calmed you down as he kissed your forehead. Faint shouts can be heard from outside the sitting room and both of you readied to face the prince one last time.

Zero smirked under his breath.

After all, you were his god, his lover.

He will do anything to serve you.

He will do anything to have you.

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom :) I CANNOT believe we are at the finale already. This season went by in the blink of an eye. I was VERY excited for this finale and what it would bring. They don't have a ton of moments. But the ones they do the writers made count. My goodness I was happy and hopeful after this episode ended. Hard to believe we won't see our babies on screen till 2025. *grumble*

D sent me something about that actually (thank you bestie) Here it be. A.H. saying he's pretty sure all networks are doing this mid season 18 ep start. One of the reasons being the Election coming up. They want to protect shows and their ratings from the debates, coverage etc. And those usually happen on Tuesday nights. Which is actually really intuitive foresight from ABC. So to protect our ratings and show I get it. Especially if we wanna lock down a S8. I don't love it but I get it. Anyways lets get to it shall we? My last "mini" thoughts of the season.

6x10 Escape Plan

Always makes me nervous for Lucy going UC but still amazing to watch her in her element. Even if it makes my stomach tie in knots. Now maybe this is just me but Lucy seemed EXTRA uneasy on this OP. This is pure speculation on my part. But could be lending a little more credence to this not being the path for her? Just the feeling I got while watching her in these moments with with the kids in this one and the sneaking around.

I will say I do love seeing Lucy with the kids. Gives us a glimpse into her as a mama. I'm liking what I am seeing. Can't help but have that thought. I really can't. Chenford has taken over my brain and I'm very ok with it. Smitty's text to Lucy did crack me up. 'Red incoming.' Gotta love Smitty. Lucy is giving me a damn heart attack being undercover though.

The panic in her soul is so evident the minute she sees Monica is approaching. The way she guides the kids out of the room. Then the sheer terror when the kids wanna take a shorter exit. She has to pivot and redirect them quickly. I feel like the pressure of this specific UC mission was getting to her. I really do. It was felt in all her movements and body language through out these scenes IMO. I could be wrong but it was just a gut feeling I got watching her.

I think her expression in this scene after Monica departs is everything. Melissa be crushing it out here. Almost like she has to take a deep breath. Calm her racing heart down before unrooting herself from that spot to investigate further. I feel like her look of unease and panic here brings home the point I've been making.

Her questioning if doing UC is worth this stress? Worth the constant worry? Like I said back in my 5x20 review. Just because you're good at something doesn't mean it's meant to be your destiny. i.e. Lucy being a permanent U.C. Pretty sure her cover is blown after she runs right into him but she got the info she needed. At the expense of my own anxiety and worry though ha

The look in this scene oh my lord. How can they have so much chemistry with just one look? Melissa and Eric are a damn treasure to this fandom. To this amazing ship. Tim saying 'It's good to have you.' That loaded look between them. *screams into a pillow.*

You know that man is happier now that she's folded into this OP. His eyes were on her from the moment she stepped on scene. Be more in love with her Tim please. Then sharing a look with Angela. I’m dying. Angela is us we are Angela. She is the fandom in this moment watching this exchange. *sigh* So good.

Someone please tell me how do they look so amazing just standing next to one another? It's unreal how they can exude SO much chemistry just standing next to one another. Forever floored by the amount of physical chemistry these two have without even touching. It blows my mind in the best way.

Also I always enjoy me some Tim in T.O. mode it's sexy af. It revs my engine to watch him back in leadership mode. Not gonna lie. So very confident and sure of himself. Gah makes me need to cross my legs watching him in action LOL Sorry (sorta)Feral Caitlin made a return there haha But I do love seeing it. Like he’s getting his mojo back professionally. It’s nice to see. Does my heart good to watch it.

Oh my word they haven’t really been alone to talk (not counting the hug last ep) since 6x06. I’m so happy. I was legit buzzing watching this. My heart Tim telling her he took her advice and went to therapy. Yessss been waiting for this to unfold. Was hoping when they got a moment alone he would tell her about it. Look at him taking the first opportunity they have solo to tell her this. The growth of this man is incredible to see. I'm so proud of him it's insane. He takes a beat and makes the best of their time together. Breaking the uncomfortable ice with it. *happy sigh*.

I'm so proud of him. I can't state this enough. It is NOT easy to have this convo let alone be the one to start it. Another way to see he's grown. Tim is tackling the conversation. Being the one to broach it. Not Lucy dragging it out of him. I love her telling him that's not normal what happened for him. Definitely hasn't been my experience haha I do love her following up her little joke with being serious. Wanting to encourage him to keep going. I love this. Doesn’t want him to think one bad experience will tar the entire profession.

Tim nodding with a smile asking her if she wants to know the irony of it all? Lucy of course does. Tim continues on that she was a good therapist. The sessions they helped him. Damnit Blair.... I do adore the way Lucy is looking at him while he speaks about this. That angry look she started with has softened quite a bit. Truly hope he continues in S7 and we get to hear about it. God I would love to see sessions. Some of my all time fav Beckett scenes in Castle's S4 was getting to see her sessions with her therapist. It's on my wish list. *fingers crossed.*

His continued sharing with Lucy makes my heart so happy it might implode. Letting Lucy know therapy despite Blair being dirty has been good for him. She unearthed things he wasn't even aware of. I felt the same way too after a couple weeks. I felt more regulated tbh. I had massive sleeping problems from age 15 to when I decided to go to therapy in my 30's. After a couple sessions my sleeping issue's were gone for most part. I had been carrying my problems for so long. Like a pressure cooker with no release valve. So with no outlet they followed me into my unconscious and manifested into anxiety attacks. Couple weeks of sessions and my sleep issues all but disappeared.

Therapy when you truly lean into it can do wonderful things. i.e. Tim opening up to Lucy like this. Also look how SOFT Lucy looks with him as he bares his soul to her. I would be remiss if I didn't go in depth on this. The look of pride and love splayed all over her face is everything. Also reverence and love as well. This episode has a lot of loaded looks and I ate them all up. We started this scene with her face hard and holding a lot anger still. Then Tim melts it with his genuine vulnerability and sharing of what going to get help has done for him. Not only that but giving her props for the original advice in the first place. I'm beaming with delight.

We move onto Tim is being anxious his sessions are going be heard for evidence cause of the FBI investigation. Ugh. This kicks Lucy's brain into gear about that. Asking if he said anything revealing about her? His reply had me rolling. I adore him making a joke like this. Letting her know he mentioned ‘Freak in the sheets.' about her. I’m dying. I have no doubt there is some truth to that for them both LOL Look at our boy making jokes and getting her to laugh. God it was so so nice to see her laugh again. He earns a smile out of her too. The first time he's been the cause of that since her gifted her that KIA Radio in 6x05. I'm floating. They're both smiling by end of this scene. *sigh* We needed this.

We got to see some BAMF Lucy in this moment. Something that just like Tim in confident T.O. Mode has been missing since 6x06. I love her being like take this guy my man is in trouble. Getting him dropped off and instantly taking off after Tim. Who is also trying to pull off some bad assery tbh. A little recklessly but that's why Lucy is coming after him.

She see's his play and wants to be there to back it. Literally waste's no time in pursuit of him. Peels right out of that damn laundromat after him. Tim's play going south VERY quickly when this guy catches on to him in the bed of the truck. Sends his gun flying and my heart racing.

Adore the worried wifey look as she watches from the car. It's pouring out of her in that brief shot. Well done Melissa. Just like Eric she knows how to convey so very much with just a look. Lucy knows Tim is in trouble. That she can't just sit there in pursuit of the vehicle without helping him.

Especially after she watches him get pulled into the cab. Knowing that he is currently at a tactical disadvantage. No way in hell she is leaving him to fight this guy off alone. Telling Lopez to take the wheel as she makes her way out to help him.

Lopez's face when she makes the jump is shocked and amazed. Lucy continuing her BAMF streak on this OP. I loved the surprised look on Tim's face when she first jumps on the truck. Like he can't believe she just risked her life to come help him out. He can't stay in the feeling long as she takes the guy out for them. But it needed to be noted his utter surprise she was there to have his back. Risked her life to do so. Such a bad ass battle couple. Back to back finales we get to watch them be poetry in motion in the field with a battle.

Oh my lord what an epic scene to watch. Lucy jumping onto that moving truck bed to save her man. They take him down together. Their work dynamic easily coming back into play here. They don't miss a beat in this moment. Working as harmoniously as they always have in the past together in the field. I love the looks shared once they've stopped the truck.

Especially Tim's. He is so damn impressed with her. Always finds a way to blow him away with the bad ass she's become. Man is falling in love all over again. It shows all over the two looks he gives her in this scene. First one is his falling back in love again. I mean he already was but think sunk him deeper. Second one is more of just being in awe of her. The pride he feels watching the amazing cop she's developed into. I love these two so much.

Let me start with how happy it makes my heart that Tim smiles when she walks up to him. Despite all the hurt just the sight of her elicits a smile out of him automatically. His walking sunshine. Love of his damn life. She truly is his happy place in human form. Lucy making a crack about him taking a half day. Their banter still simmering beneath the surface. It's a little subdued in this moment but it's alive and well with Tim's reply. He is ever the gentlemen letting her go first.

His elevator version of holding the door for her. That chivalry never dying with him. It's the little things. Can't ignore how Lucy is looking at this man the entire scene. From start to finish. With such reverence and love. Still so in love with this man standing in front of her. Lucy can't help it. She is a moth to a flame with him. Especially with Tim thanking her for saving his life. Let's delve into that a little shall we? Tim Bradford is saying he didn't have it. Admitting fault he would've lost that battle without her.

Saying not only did he not have it but Lucy did. That he wouldn't be standing here without her. Giving her the kudos and all the praise for saving his life. Far cry from 1x01 and his future reaction to that moment in S5. This is a different Tim we see standing before us everyone. The amount of growth in this moment is immense. Because not only did she save his life but she saved him in a deeper sense. Feels like it's truly hitting him like a freight train the impact she's had on his life. I think there is double meaning to his words above. It's what leads him into this next section below.

The loving expression on Lucy's face when she replies ' You're Welcome.' That look of I'm still in love with you, I would do anything for you despite the hurt, and her realizing the deeper meaning of Tim thanking her. The growth she is currently seeing in him is prompting this soft/warm look and even softer reply. It's what encourages Tim to say his next portion. You can see him psyching himself up before he turns around to apologize. To own what he's done to them. To her.

Tim starts his apology by telling her he knows what he’s done (thank you lord for this) That he knows he ruined everything. You sure did babe...but you’re gonna earn it all back I know it. Lucy has the most loving and forgiving nature. The biggest heart. Also we can see there is still a tinge of anger to her expression at first above. So that journey will not be an easy one for Tim. Nor should it be. He has a lot to make up for. But my god will it be worth it in the end. I truly believe that. I'm going to be crying river's when we get there.

Look at how he has grown. Immediately spilling his guts emotionally to her twice in one episode. Not once but TWICE. Hell three times really. With saying she saved him and admitting fault to what he's done. I can't get over this. He had two really hard conversations with her in this episode. Swallowing that pride of his he's trying to hard to overcome. Doing this in order to communicate better with her. To show her he's putting in the time and the effort. To let her know he knows he messed up and is owning that. Something Tim wouldn't have done before. At least not easily. These are great strides for him. I couldn't be prouder of where they are ending the season for him. Imma need more therapy though in S7 you hear me writers?

Tim thanking Lucy for extending him the kindness she has shown him. *my damn heart.* That he can never explain how much he appreciates it. That she could've easily turned on him and he would've understood. But that's not Lucy. We all know that's not who she is. Or ever will be. It's that forgiving nature of her's that is one of the many reasons Tim is so damn gone for her. I think there is once again a double meaning to his words. To me Tim is saying this is for far more than just post break up. It's for their entire relationship. Together/apart and especially when they were not 1-4. The kindness and the empathy she's aways shown him. Even at his worst.

Like I said earlier it's all hitting him hard. The place she held in his life for so long and the impact she's had on him. Imma cry. A giant epiphany moment for Tim I think. Maybe starting to slowly understand the unconditional love she has for him. This scene made me tear up. That anger that is still present melts away a little more for Lucy. If she continues to see Tim work on himself. He shows her his continued growth. No reason she wouldn't take this man back when he's put in the work to re-earn that place in her life. Tim saying he's gonna spend rest of his life repaying her back for said kindness. *screams into the void.* In whatever small doses she allows of course.

Respecting her boundaries and hoping she will allow him to do so. It's the sweetest most sincere part of his apology. The way she looks at him as he departs. *heart clutch* You can see he's stunned her into silence. But also Lucy can see the growth in him and it’s written all over her face. This is a fantastic way to end the season for them. It wouldn’t be right to get back together right now or even just a 'we almost died' hook up. (Wonderful fic's out there for that just recently BTW.) Just wouldn’t. As much as my shipper soul LONGS for them to be back together. Legit longs so much it hurts. This was a good way to end them for the season. With some hope, some growth and a path forward leading us to S7.

Some Final thoughts below. With a Chenford hug to this lovely fandom of ours.

First off I want to thank you all for doing this not so mini review journey with me. I was nervous to do them. Even after doing 9 plus months of them with 1-5. This was different. It was first impressions. Hope you all enjoyed them. I'm more than happy to do this next season too. First impression thoughts for S7 as well if you are all interested. Let's move onto some final thoughts I'm having. You know months could pass by when we get to 7x01 in their timeline. I’m hoping he’s in therapy during this duration. Ready to prove he wants to earn her trust back. To earn her back. I don't think for one second that moment in the elevator is the last deep conversation they're going to have before we get a reconciliation. Tim has her love. Always has. Always will.

Lucy's decisions and responses in 6x10 show that. No matter what she loves this man. What he needs to gain back is her trust. To prove over and over again. He's there to stay. To show her through kind acts. To rebuild his rapport with her. I’m excited for that journey cause when we get there. *phew* God the fandom is gonna implode with happiness. It’ll be well earned. Their relationship is going to be even better with the growth Tim has done. (Hoping for some more for Lucy as well and getting the support she needs/deserves)We saw massive results in this episode alone. Can you imagine how it’ll be when they’re back together? *chefs kiss* it’ll make all the hurt and pain so worth it.

Getting emotional writing about this. This ship has a stranglehold on my emotions and I’m ok with it. Eric and Melissa love our passion for this couple. So I won’t be ashamed for the affect it has on me. I’m excited for s7. It’ll be a long hiatus. But we will get through it together. I will probably wait till mid July to do my thoughts fully fleshed out for S6. Think we all need time for finale to settle. For us too as well. I'm most definitely not ready to re-dive into everything just yet. Especially 6x05/6x06. But I'm hoping couple month hiatus for me will help with tackling that. Then we can start that journey for us all to go on with my deeper analysis.

As always thank you all for the likes, comments and reblogs. For being interested in my thoughts at all. It means the world you have no idea. Love this fandom, love this show and this incredible ship we are so fortunate to have. So once again thank you all for being on this journey of S6 with me. Like said earlier I’ll get started in my fleshed out S6 reviews come mid July. :)

~~~

Side notes-Non chenford

Monica cleaned up a mess for Blair. Manipulated her by helping her most Monica thing I've ever heard. Glad to finally have answers to that. I knew it felt like manipulation. She had too much of a conscience to be dead inside and doing it for money. Sucks cause she is very good at her job. That scene with Aaron was a mic drop moment for him. So proud of how far he came this season as well.

Friggin Nolan never listens. And get shot for not listening. In the ass. Because he's a pain in one. Was apropos. Also he's right back to being a dumb putz to me. It was short lived john you made it half an episode before falling out of my good graces LOL

Once again music amazing for their final scenes whoever handled that this season crushed it. Bringing out all my emotions.

See you all later this summer for my in-depth ones. Till then be kind and rally around each other. Gonna be a long hiatus.

[neo-novaa]

enchanted

; the second part to enamored

*ੈ✩ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: neteyam x na'vi!reader

*ੈ✩ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut !! p in v, fingering, implied first time, not proofread so if you see any errors, no you dont!

*ੈ✩ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.4k

*ੈ✩ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: gah damn this took too long, writing smut as an asexual is not for the week.

“i see you.”

your breath catches in your throat when you hear neteyam say it. you slowly open your eyes, practically seeing your own reflection in his dilated pupils. it takes strength to only keep your eyes on his, to not let them wander down to his tantiling lips.

“i see you,” you whisper in return, watching the way that the corner of his eyes crinkle into a smile.

in mere moments his lips are on yours again, that carnal want and need weighing heavy in the air around you. it’s all tooth and tongue, messy, thick with something so much more carnal than you’ve ever felt before.

your hands are carelessly and aimlessly grasping neteyams body, trying to bring him closer to you, to get every inch of his skin against yours.

you only pull away when neteyam guides you to the ground, his hands still finding their place on your jaw. the way that he’s suddenly avoiding your gaze is making you nervous.

“what is it neteyam?” your voice is barely a whisper, throat dry from breathing so heavily, your mouth wet from his spit.

“i want it to be you.” he says, persistent in avoiding your gaze. 

confusion quickly clouds the yen in your mind. “you want me to be what?”

neteyams eyes finally reach yours, and you find something nervous behind them-- a look you hadn’t seen since that night you rode out together. he glances down quickly, drawing his hands from your face and taking yours instead.

“i choose you.” he whispers, punctuation every word. “for the rest of my life, i would want no one else by my side. i want it to be you--” his right hand is suddenly bringing yours to his chest. “i’ve always wanted it to be you.”

you can feel how fast his heart is beating, how strong it is; how heavy it is beneath the chest, weighed with the burden of his long pining over you.

“please,” he murmurs, a silent plea to hear of whether or not the feeling is reciprocated.

“ma’teyam,” you match his volume, delicately pressing down against his chest. “it has always been you; it could only be you.”

in less than a moment his lips are on yours, swallowing the air in your lungs and the words on your tongue. his hands are all over you, aimlessly grasping at your skin-- you barely have time to keep up before he pulls away from you, leaving you absolutely wrecked.

“i want you to feel what i feel,” neteyam’s reaching over his shoulder. “for you to feel what i feel for you.”

he presents you his queue, the pink tendrils grasping the air around it. you don’t hesitate to reach for you own, but you find yourself pausing before you make tsaheylyu.

you’re nervous, overwhelmingly so. the exhilaration at the thought of being his mate  is clouded at the sudden anxiety of your first time.

“hey,” he catches your attention by thumbing at your knee. “it’ll be okay, i promise. trust me.” his last words are a whisper, slowly but surely easing your fears.

you watch as your queues intertwine with one another, as you are suddenly and powerfully hit with an onslaught of effections--

his feelings get lost with your own, and for the first few moments, you can’t tell where you start, and he ends. your heartbeats in sync, your breathing steady with one another, your minds temporarily melding into one.

only then does it really hit you.

first, it’s the love.

the undying adoration, the never-ending fondness rooted so deeply in his soul that it has surpassed a feeling, and has turned into a core emotion.

joy, sorrow, fear and love-- love that is completely devoted to you.

the sudden warmth that is desperately heating your bodies, sharp adrenaline running through your brins, the unwavering need to be closer than physically possible with the person across, to be bound to them, body and soul.

then, it’s the lust.

the unyielding, ever present need for you, like a hunger that he was never able to satiate. you can feel those long nights he’d have, desperately bucking into his hand, wishing-- longing for it to be you instead.

the deep and inate desire that is heating your bodies, that primal desire for you ingrained in his body like a sixth sense; that ever-present, all-pervading yearning that never once waivered.

and you can feel his pain. not the one that you’d get from a knife to the throat, or a blow to a head, no-- the type of pain that resides deep in your abdomen, pulsing, aching-- the type that can only intensify with your touch.

you barely notice how hard your breathing, you barely notice how you’re sharing that same ache for him. 

you barely get his name out before you’re on top of neteyam, straddling his thigh, fervently pressing your lips against his. you keep moving yourself closer, nearer, you need to be underneath his skin--

the euphoric feeling of the bond becomes more tolerable, that out-of-body feeling dissipating until you can finally feel where your fingers touch him. you’re hyperaware of his breath on your neck, his hands gripping your waist, his dick pressing hard against your loincloth.

his fingers dig into you, grinding your hips down onto him. he’s breathing into your neck, desperately rutting into you. you can feel his own pleasure within you, every roll of your hip giving you and him the friction you need.

neteyams movements suddenly still, and you bite back a whine at the sudden understumulation.

“can i touch you?” he pleas, his voice dry and his chest heaving. “can i please touch you?” his desperation sends chills down your spine.

his hands are climbing your waist, reaching the bottom of your waist before falling back down to your hips.

“yes,” you rasp, mind foggy with your own arousal. “yes, please--”

you’re pushing yourself up from your knees, fussing with the knots of your loincloth, neteyams hand on the small of your back as he lays you down. the moment you get it off of your abdomen, he’s pressing a thumb against your clit.

your back arches to the sky as you let out a loud whine, neteyam matching it as he can feel your pleasure through tsaheylu.

without much warning, neteyam sticks a finger inside of you, the two of you gasping together at the sensation. 

“is this okay?” he asks, and you’re too overwhelmed to do anything but nod.

“good, good…” neteyam whisperes as he begins to curl his finger inside of you. you rut your hips into his hand, chasing that arousal, urging that tightening coil in your abdomen.

just as you’re getting acclimated to one finger, neteyam is pushing another inside of you, curling at your gummy walls.

“shi-- ‘teyam, feels so--” you can barely get a word out without whining incoherently, and you spot the way that neteyam seems just out of breath as you are.

“i know, i can feel it.” he murmurs, and you whimper noisily as he begins to hasten his pace. he gently pushes his thumb against your aching clit, and whines loudly  at the shared sensation.

“so good, doin’ so good,” he says against your neck, and you can feel him grinding against your thigh. 

“neteyam-- please,” you whine, grabbing at his shoulders. 

“yeah? what is it, use your words.” he purrs.

it’s hard to get any words out with the way that he’s fingering you. his thumb pushing against your clit in firm circles, his digits pressing against a spot that’s making you see stars--

“i wa-- ah… i want you in me,” you barely get out, and you can feel how quickly that gets to him-- his breath quivering, cock twitching against your leg.

neteyam doesn’t say anything before he pulls his fingers from you, leaving you squirming at the lack of stimulation. above you, you can see neteyam ardently working with his loincloth, sweat dripping from his forehead.

you could feel his anticipation, that voracious yearning that’s been festering inside of him for years. your heartbeats fast, your breathing in sync, and you feel that same ardor creeping up in your chest.

neteyams on top of you again, one arm encaging your head as hot breath hitting your neck with his head resting against the forest floor.

“you ready?” he grunts, his tip aching against your folds.

“yes,” you breathe, feeling your heart flutter with yours. 

he pushes into you, buries himself into you until his hips meet yours. you can’t help the way your chest arches into his, and neteyam can’t help the way he’s whimpering into your ear. you can feel each others pleasure, and it’s enough to make the two of you see stars.

your hands find his waist, thumbing against the muscles on his lower abdomen, silently encouraging -- begging him to move.

he swiftly gets the message, slowly pulling out, gently rutting back into you, setting an almost sluggish pace.

but you can feel how much he’s holding back. in his taut muscles, his furrowed brows, and the way that he’s grunting through his teeth-- he’s holding back, and you don’t want him to hold back; you want him to ruin you.

“neteyam,” you’re sighing his name, feeling the way he twitches inside of you. “please don’t hold back.”

“it’s okay,” he quickly replies, his hips stuttering against yours. “--just want you to feel good.”

“neteyam.” you say his name more firmly, nearly yanking him by the back of his head to face you.

“i want all of you.” you see his eyes widen. “i need all of you.”

he doesn’t say anything; all neteyam does it push your leg until your thigh meets your chest, kiss you hard, and set an absolutely brutal pace. 

you can barely hear his quiet whines and breathy moans against your hips rutting together; you barely register how hard neteyam is biting into your neck, his canines digging into your skin. 

your nails dig into his back, your chest meeting his as you arch into his thrusts.

“--teyam,” you whine, exposing more of your neck to his blistering lips on your neck. “don’t leave marks. people will see, they will stare.”

he pulls away, only to blow his hot breath against the welts on your neck. 

“let them stare,” he nearly growls, pushing away to meet your gaze. “let everyone know who you belong to.”

neteyam resumes position, his cabins digging deeper into your shoulder. his free had pushes your hips down, keeping you still as he keeps driving into you.

“you like that, don’t you,” neteyam whispers into your ear, brushing his temple against yours. “the thought of being covered in bruises because of me?”

you nod helplessly, relishing how tight your abdomen burns. you can feel it coiling tighter, burning harder, and your hands are clawing at neteyam, chasing your release.

you grasp at his neck, pulling him closer, pushing him to go harder. you beg for him, for his touch, for anything--

“what is it?” he murmurs, lips moving to your jugular, neteyam watching as it bobs helplessly, your words swallowed by helpless whines. 

“touch me,” you mewl, feeling tears prick at the corners of you eyes. everything he does is too much and too little-- you can feel every one of his nerves crashing into yours, yet you don’t feel him enough. 

skin against skin, heartbeats in sync, but yet you can’t feel complete without his hands on you. 

“where do you want me to touch you?” he’s filled with questions, and you can feel how hard he’s trying to concentrate on you. on your words, your touch, the beautiful noises that come spilling from your lips every time he buries himself into you.

“i don’t know, i don’t care-- i just want your hands on me. please--” you rush your words, the ache in your chest matching the burning in your core. 

he whispers something against your lips, something incoherent beneath his whimpers, your mewls, and skin slapping against skin.

you can feel his touch scortching into your sides, one of his hands digging into your waist as the other moves south, his fingers finding place against your clit.

you arch into his fingers, neteyam feeling the way your lungs burn with your needy gasps. you’re close-- he’s close, bodies moving against each other in sync.

“mine, all mine.” he says, rutting into you as he seeks his own release. he’s thumbing against your clit, helping the pressure build inside of you. he knows you’re close, he can feel it.   

your hands finally find their place on his cheeks, bringing his face down to yours. his pupils are blown, eclipsing his iris’ until all you can see is a golden halo. 

“yours,” you breathe against his lips, kissing him firmly. “all yours.” 

that’s all he needs to finish, burying himself into you, murmuring your name like a prayer. you feel yourself crashing over the edge, digging your nose into his neck, basking in the rhapsodic feeling of your shared release.

his forehead against yours, hands finding their place on your hips, calming your twitching abdomen as you ride the aftershock of your orgasm. 

through your bond you can still feel his heartbeat, it’s pace catching up to yours. you breathe the same air as him, thick with your shared heat and pheromones. it’s sickly, how deeply you scent him, and how much of you he can feel in his lungs.

for a moment, thats all you do; you bask in the shared space, the feeling of pure adoration eating each other alive. you can feel your breathing become even, your heart slowing pace, his chest beating against yours.

neteyam breaths your name against your lips, and you can’t help but smile.

you’ve never felt closer to him, and a part of you fears that if you break the bond, he will slip through your hands, and become a stranger to you once more.

so you hold onto neteyam like he’s falling, slipping away from you. you hold him like he’s nothing but a fleeting moment. you hold him like he’s a dream, and you squeeze your eyes shut in fear that when you open them, he will be gone.

neteyam can feel your fear. all he knows is that he loves you, and you love him, and he shows you that love by slipping his arms under your back, putting all his weight on you as he embraces you.

“i see you.” neteyam whispers. his words slipping into your mouth, his lips against yours, savoring the taste of your love for him. 

“i see you,” you echo, like it’s a secret that you’d been too nervous to share. but neteyam takes your words and swallows them whole, letting them fuel his blood, his lungs, and his heart.

[astrolavas]

what are your favourite toh dynamics?

AGHGHGHHHHH OKAY, SO- this is mostly gonna be me talking abt hunter dynamics cuz kxjsjks i'm predictable, that's where my brainrot lies, but boy. i love toh dynamics so much

my probably Favorite favorite dynamics are hunter & flapjack and hunter & luz.

like, flapjack being hunter's first ever friend, the first instance of someone caring abt him genuinely and unconditionally, the first step to him breaking free from belos... the fact that he brought so much love and joy into hunter's life.

hunter had always had so much love in his heart, he loved his "uncle", but he'd never known what being loved was supposed to feel like; he thought love was conditional, and angry outbursts were just a normal part of it. but then flapjack came into his life and showed hunter what it felt like to love and BE LOVED BACK. he helped him open up, helped him find ppl who'd care abt him, helped him realize that whatever belos felt towards him…. wasn't love, that being loved wasn't supposed to feel like how he felt near belos; but that being loved was supposed to feel GOOD and WARM. (hunter being near tears because flapjack offered him a half of his berry instead of getting angry and lashing out at him like he'd predicted he would, since that's what he was always used to..... not comprehending this amount of kindness was even a possibility UGHHHGH)

they genuinely cared abt/for each other so much. flapjack was with hunter every step of the way, he supported him ALWAYS and he helped him and was such a big comfort in the scariest and most uncertain moments of hunter's life; like, this little magical bird loved his boy like no one else in the entire world. he was always by hunter's side and always indulging that boy's dumb ideas kxjsjk ughhh... the way flapjack didn't even hesitate to sacrifice his own life so that his boy could live, and even though he's gone, a part of his soul will always live inside of hunter. and hunter also cared abt flapjack so much, that was his BEST FRIEND. the apple of his eye!!!! the way belos almost crushing flapjack was the only thing that managed to give hunter enough strength and motivation to break through belos' possession and take back control of his own body. the way hunter always made sure that flapjack had the best care he could possibly have offered him, he loved him and still DOES... and always will. just!!!! gah. hunter and flapjack...

now, hunter and luz's dynamic is also just...... SOOOO SO interesting and full of SO many little nuances. how much it progresses, how much they go through together, how much they change. the fact that they started off on the wrong foot, on "opposite sites", but even then luz didn't consider hunter an enemy- they bickered a lot and luz didn't hold back from calling hunter out but ever since hunting palismen she saw him as hunter, not just the golden guard; and then as time progressed, they slowly grew to care abt each other and became some of the most important ppl in each other's lives.

thinking abt hollow mind, how traumatic of an event it was and how that mutual shared trauma that only they can understand affected and strengthened their bond. how luz gradually went from being angry/irritated at hunter for defending belos to being more protective of him and worried for his safety when she saw what his and belos' relationship REALLY looked like, that this situation wasn't safe for hunter, that he needed help, that he needed to be away from belos asap. her offering him to stay at the owl house, assuring him that everything was going to be okay as he was being pulled underground..... GOD. hunter immediately switching from calling luz "human" to her name after finding out the truth.

thinking abt their secret-keeping deal and how it rly wasn't healthy for them at ALL because they kept comforting each other from their VERY similar perspectives/stances, which just further locked in their mentality of "haha yeah they'll hate both of us when they find out our secrets!" during their stay in the human realm. how they were ensuring each other's fears by relating to each other; like a circle. but nevertheless, they still cared about each other and have only grown to care about each other even more throughout the few months and, ah!!!! them becoming so comfortable in each other's presence to the point where they allowed themselves to be vulnerable and voice their fears and worries around each other. luz calling hunter family and hunter truly letting his emotions out and letting himself cry next to another person for the first time in, like… EVER…….. HHHGHGHGHHH !!!!!

there's just so many factors to their dynamic, i love it so much....

but just in general, i love all the different relationships hunter has with everyone so much. emerald trio and all the distinctive dynamics within it... GAHHHHH hunter and gus, hunter and willow, willow and gus; they're all so unique and independently interesting and built upon, which makes the whole trio just WORK, so naturally. they're best friends, they're the trio ever, they care abt each other... ugh. LOVE THEM. you don't understand how much emerald trio brainrot i've got, they torment me on a daily basis.

hunter and gus... labyrinth brothers... they've got such fun, supportive friendship. both treated as "prodigies" of sort, both knowing what it's like to feel naive or used. both just wanting the best for one another. nerds (affectionate), i love them sm...

huntlow, how well they fit together and how supportive they are of one another... they just work so well because they're truly equals, their relationship is full of understanding and respect, but also comfort, and silliness. they're silly! and fun! and they get each other, and comfort/protect each other when the other truly needs it, just- ughhgh the bi4pan couple ever...... they're so good.

gus and willow, how they were each other's first ever friend (willow was gus' first genuine friend and gus was willow's first friend ever since amity suddenly broke it off with her)... how they've been inseparable since they met and know each other so well.

emerald trio, man

i love the potential of hunter and amity's dynamic as well; he may not be as close with her as he is with other members of hexsquad but there's stuff that they just get abt each other's home/family situations. them having this... playful/bickery dynamic at times but still being able to have serious, comforting conversations abt things they both relate to when they need to >>>> (also no, they wouldn't genuinely hate each other, and amity wouldn't ever threaten hunter or hold a grudge cuz of what happened at eclipse lake, like some ppl seem to think; that's not what their canon interactions or personalities suggest to us at all)

hunter and vee's dynamic also had SOOOO much potential, i will forever mourn that we didn't get to see it on-screen cuz of the shortening. ugh... the complex nature of hunter having been the golden guard and vee also having had a very traumatizing past related to the emperor's coven. her being distrustful of hunter at first, being uneasy in his presence; hunter also feeling guilty solely cuz of his past involvement in the emperor's coven and staying away from vee himself, in order not to make her more uncomfortable. then, slowly, gradually, them becoming friends... hunter assuring vee he isn't going to hurt her; vee noticing that some of hunter's behaviors are worrying (like maybe him flinching when camila raises her hand a little too fast near him, or him saying sth deeply disturbing that he considers normal, etc etc); them talking... vee finding out what hunter's life at the emperor's coven was actually like, what his relationship with belos was like. them realizing they actually have a lot in common, that they were both mistreated by belos, both his victims. getting to know each other and being supportive of each other's experiences. i could even imagine that hunter could tell vee that he's a grimwalker at some point, before ttt, making her the second person to know. if she expressed sth abt being one of the few last remaining basilisks or belos' experiment, or a species brought back from the dead, hunter would want to show that he sympathizes by relating to her, cuz that's how he shows he cares and understands. and the thing that relates him to this the most is his grimwalker identity. and so they could talk abt it too, maybe... (and the stakes here wouldn't be as high as sharing his secret to willow and gus was to hunter, since he was truly afraid of being rejected there; he thought he'd lose his best friends forever if they knew the truth abt him)

hunter and darius' dynamic..... gah. there's so much complexity and nuance here, so much potential to explore their past as well as future. with darius taking hunter in, there's definitely a LOT they must've worked on during those first few months. there's this specific trauma that has come from their stay in the coven, the specific ways in which this hostile environment had affected their behaviours and the way they both acted... that's definitely not sth that was just automatically dealt with, they had to work through that.

we know darius cared abt and respected his mentor a lot, so much to the point where he thought hunter wasn't worthy to be the next golden guard and was taking that feeling out on him, thinking he didn't deserve to inherit such important title after the previous GG's death; didn't rly respect or care abt hunter until any sport in a storm. i feel like darius definitely had a lot of guilt abt the way he treated hunter in the past, so moving forward he really tried his best, especially since hunter's had this deep need to impress him and make him proud and all. he wanted that kid to have a good life and to stay safe. we know their relationship has progressed throughout the rest of season 2, with the implication of them growing closer and spending more time together, but even as of watching & dreaming, it all definitely wasn't just sunshine and rainbows + darius rly didn't have much experience in being a parent. but he tried his best, darius (and eberwolf) definitely did everything in their power so that hunter could have the best possible environment to live in, and eventually they've worked through this complicated past and post-coven habits, and made their living space a comfortable home... made sure to always be supportive to hunter, to accomodate his needs, made sure he isn't overworking himself or trying to "earn" the right to live with them; made sure that he's flourishing and taking care of himself and being a kid. made sure he feels loved and safe and sleeps well and hgghh yeah....... also, thinking abt darius and hunter sharing that experience of grief, abt darius teaching hunter how to sew, abt how darius sent hunter on that mission to "keep luz safe" to keep him away from the danger of the day of unity... man!!!! (i do wish we'd seen their relationship progress and develop on-screen more though, rather than in the background/through subtext... but h)

hunter and camila's relationship is also... SO precious to me. the fact that during their first meeting, she made sure to let him know he doesn't have to be overly respectful to her, that they're on an equal ground; he kneeled and she told him to never do that again. hunter's stay at camila's was the first time he was under long-term care of an adult who truly cared abt his well-being. lots of it was probably so confusing to him, cuz of how different it was from his relationship dynamic with belos, and it was definitely trial-and-error in many instances, and it was a while until these more healthy habits started to feel more natural to hunter, but it also made him feel loved. apprecciated. safe. i just know camila was always just... so patient with hunter. never raised a hand at him, made sure he'd never fear her, didn't let him overwork himself... she taught him how to use a sewing machine, told him all abt wolves. she definitely picked up on some of hunter's behaviours and deduced what it meant regarding his family past, and tried her best to make him feel comfortable. just!!!!! the fact that this was the first time where hunter truly felt cared for, where he lived in safe conditions..... GAHghghhhh (thinks abt the scrapped ttt credits idea featuring hunter helping camila out at her vet clinic. so normal abt it... i love winning... brainrot lvl 2000. man...)

there are so many more hunter dynamics that exist in my head...... hunter and raine, them being able to bond abt their (very traumatic) possession experience and their post-possession scars; raine being one of the very few ppl who seemed to have been nice to hunter in the coven, rather than cruel or dismissive of him. the fact that hunter (and dell) canonically helped fix raine's palisman after their battle with belos. GAHHHGHH...

hunter and the clawthornes; the fact that he works with dell, gwendolyn and the bat queen, that he canonically has been mentored by them!!! the fact that he and the clawthornes are in a way related but haven't discovered it yet, but are going to discover it eventually (love to imagine eda and lilith's reactions cuz this is like, comedy material). he works with them, he spends there so much time... i just know they've grown to be fond of that boy, he's like their unofficial grandson.

hunter and king, and their identity-related arcs. finding out you've been lied to your whole life and that you're the last representant of an extinct/legendary species, after thinking you were sth else all these years.... man! also the fact that king wrote one of hunter's favorite books xksjjsk AND hunter's whole...... religious trauma thing with "titan has big plans for you" versus king being an actual titan. AND the fact that king saw the uncountable piles of bones and skeletons of hunter's "family", the other golden guards, grimwalkers. do you see the vision-

even hunter and the collector! the fact that since the collector didn't understand death, they thought belos murdering all the grimwalkers and then making new ones was him just playing and then "fixing" the grimwalker, rather than actually KILLING a whole bunch of people. the collector realizing this... hunter having mixed feelings knowing how they didn't see grimwalkers (him included) as people and feeling bitter remembering how they spoke abt him with belos in the memory he'd seen in hollow mind, but also knowing they were belos' victim too, and it wasn't entirely their fault; that they know better now. sympathizing with that... the fact that both hunter and the collector have a traumatic, abusive past with belos; they were both manipulated and mistreated by him, used for his own selfish goals. it all coming together to just two kids with a complicated past who've gone through terrible things, trying to heal… hhgh

and soooo many more! i love lumity, i love raeda, i love the collector and king's friendship, the owl trio, luz and camila's dynamic, i hate-love belos and hunter's relationship cuz i love how it's written but Uggh. GOD. PAIN.... but it's written so very well. philip and caleb's dynamic is too, it's so interesting. and more! there are just so, so many good, interesting dynamics in toh, i could brainrot abt them forever...... man.

[pandoa]

Hi!!! Can I request yellow pansies and anemones in a balcony theme for Jamil? Thank you!!

Yellow pansies ~ “they love me, they love me not. they love me, they love me n—” “what are you doing?” “GAH!”

Anemones ~ “just take my hand. don’t you dare second guess yourself”

~jamil viper x gender neutral reader~

the moment i saw the balcony theme and anemones prompt i immediately thought "ALADDIN A WHOLE NEW WORLD SCENE-" AND I'M JUST SDJNJVDV THE PERFECT WAY TO END THIS EVENT, THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING <3

♡shining, shimmering, splendid!♡

He was perfect. Way too perfect, actually. What kind of man was just too good at everything?

It was to the point where it drove you absolutely crazy. Every step he made caused your heart to flutter hoping each step would be an inch closer to him standing right beside you, every mention of his name made you helplessly lift your head thinking you and him were in the very same room, every word he said to you was another word you would place high on a pedestal as if it were the most enchanting sentence your ears had ever heard. He had lucid locks of hair your hands had only dreamed of running themselves through. Skin as smooth as silk that sent electrical shivers down your spine with just one simple touch of his skin on yours. His dancing lyrical, his mind intelligent, and his soul beautiful. 

You were in love with Jamil Viper. And you were nearing the verge of insanity if you did not find out if he had felt the same. 

Days would seem to pass in no time at all—mainly because you would constantly be dazed with your mental consciousness never present at all—and it regrettably began to influence, not only your emotions, but the life lived around you as well. You could no longer keep still, your mind always drifting off into never-ending daydreams, friends concerned for your health, and your heart needing a definite answer before it exploded into a million pieces. Which was why you were there now, leaning on Ramshackle’s antique balcony, pulling at the dainty petals of a flower you had picked on your way back to your dorm after class. This had to be settled once and for all. In the name of your ever-pounding heart.

“He loves me, he loves me not,” your hopeful muttering played through the trees and grassland residing at the bottom of your balcony, each petal you gently picked off gracefully gliding down to touch the greenery as it twirled and spun in the wind. Going up to Jamil and directly asking him about his own feelings was obviously not an option in these circumstances; that was simply too bold for your taste. So, you had resolved to the next best thing for determining someone's romantic emotions: using flower petals to predict your crush’s feelings. 

Plucking another petal off of the delicate flower, you sighed wistfully as a gentle breeze began to comb through your hair, “He loves me, he loves me n—”

“What are you doing?”

“GAH! J-Jamil!” Upon hearing the calm voice of the Scarabia second year, your body jumped up in surprise as you hid the flower you had been holding behind the small of your back. Lifting your gaze up to face him, however, you had noticed something off about the way Jamil’s figure had slowly risen up and down as if he were flying in mid-air. That’s odd, you curiously thought, I don’t see a magical broom with him anywhere?

“What brings you here…floating on a…” a small pause cut your sentence as you looked over the balcony’s railings only to see a familiar piece of tapestry-like cloth hovering over the air—confusion plaguing your voice as you turned to look the boy directly in the eye, “magic…carpet? What the heck, Jamil?”

Jamil, softly clearing his throat, attempted to avoid eye contact as a hesitant hand shot up to nonchalantly cover a part of his face. For whatever reason, it had seemed like he was embarrassed—for what you did not know. You were too focused on hiding a burning blush on your end to notice the also red tint creeping onto the vice housewarden’s cheeks. Trying to continue on with what he had come here for, Jamil finally gained back some of his composure and looked back at you, “I noticed that you seemed…quite stressed this past week and thought that you could use a moment to clear your head. So, I borrowed Kalim’s carpet and headed straight for Ramshackle. Apologies for scaring you, though. That, I did not plan.”

“What do you mean?” you timidly asked, heart still palpitating miles and miles each second Jamil’s gray eyes had bore into your own. 

“I’m taking you with me to relax.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” you watched as Jamil had shifted his position to get a better angle before reaching his own hand out to latch onto yours. “Here, just take my hand. Don’t you dare second guess yourself,” he said as the sun over Ramshackle’s balcony reflected onto the shining gold accents of his charms and bracelets—causing him to glimmer brighter than any star you had ever seen, “And don’t worry either.”

“You can trust me.”

a/n: and then reader and jamil ride off into the dramatic sunset singing "a whole new world" throughout the entirety of nrc until jamil finds out kalim tried to cook again and jamil's little date is interrupted because he doesn't want the housewarden to burn down their whole dorm <3

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Ari I’m crawling through the desert in need of water…humbly I beg & plead for your Ken-geto twin AU headcanons 🙏🙏🙏 I think they’re the only thing that can quench my soul rn

ODI . MY BELOVED . I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS WAHHHH pls take a seat and get ready for a long long rant……… i’ll do my best to quench your thirst 🙏🙏🙏

OKAY SO . god. where do i even begin………

basically!!!!! i’m writing a fic where kenny is. your best friend’s older brother <33333 the best friend in question being sugu!!! i still haven’t decided if they’re twins or if kenny is a couple years older…… buuuut either way i have lots n lots of thoughts abt their dynamic :33 and how the two of them treat you!!!! sugu is just…. your reliable, soft best friend, and kenny is . the way he is 😭 but anyway…..

i picture kenny as being a bitttt of a bad boy in this au?? not exactly. but like. he has a tongue piercing and moved out really early and he’s maybe a little bit twisted . cares abt suguru but can’t really show it. he’s silly and talkative but also a bit condescending…. a bit of a know it all…… i feel like he almost acts more like a father than an older brother sometimes which suguru absolutely hates 😭 there’s a lot of tension between them!!

personality wise i feel like suguru sort of . adapts to kenjaku? he’s a bit of a social chameleon. and he really doesn’t like the idea of people seeing them as similar…. so if kenny is acting more serious and pretentious, suguru acts more childish — and if kenny acts more silly then suguru takes a more responsible role . it’s like that!!! it’s weird bc i see suguru as being very sincere at heart, and kenny as being fairly insincere, but with the way they act you could get the impression that it’s the other way around. kenny doesn’t care abt how others view him, suguru very much does. but sugu has a sincerity to him that kenny kind of lacks?? ig it’s less that kenny is insincere and more that he’s just. detached. in a way.

also sidenote kinda but !!! i picture both sugu and kenny as sweater boys 😭😭 they LOVE their sweaters. i feel like kenny wears turtlenecks religiously. and sugu goes out of his way to wear more leather jackets and hoodies bc he doesn’t like when they’re wearing the same stuff LMAO…. kenny sometimes makes their outfits match just to piss him off <333

anddddd going back to the whole . brotherly rivalry stuff…… i think kenny was always a bit of a black sheep growing up . and bc of that suguru automatically became the golden child!!! sugu can be mischievous and bratty but he gets away w it bc he’s the youngest/good at hiding it…. and in front of their parents he’s always very straightlaced. it’s almost like suguru holds back just so that he won’t appear similar to his brother, which i think kenny kind of finds pathetic. there’s just soooo much to their dynamic 😭😭 they’re similar and different and just. gah. they give me a headache!!!! bc kenny is such a wildcard in the way that he acts, and suguru is so prone to changing himself depending on the situation he’s in.

but overall i just feel like kenny is pretentious and teasing…. and kinda mean . while sugu is well-behaved and calm, but a little more teasing and silly around people he’s close to….. and he’s also super kind . he’s warm!!!! and kenny is sort of cold. that’s the way i picture their dynamic. but it’s very fluid i think …. sometimes kenny acts like the oldest, sometimes the youngest LMAO

ANYWAYYYY gosh i’m already yapping so much 😭😭😭 I HOPE YOU’RE STILL HERE ODI ….. here’s another drink for you 🧋 .

now !!!! when it comes to their dynamic with you…… 👀👀 suguru is just a protective softie. he loves you so much!!! you’re his bestie!!!! and you’re the only one he ever acts bratty and pouty with…. he just feels comfortable around you :’3 so he can let his guard down and be a little silly… a little teasing….. but he’s always always always taking care of you . a warm sunflower boy <333333

then there’s kenny who . bullies you a bit 😭 JUST A BIT . bc he likes seeing your reactions <3 he’s kind of like your typical intimidating best friend’s brother…. a little scary ……. a bit of a dick….. he looks after you in his own way but . he doesn’t coddle you the way suguru does. when you’re kids he’s someone you look up to, but also someone you’re a tinyyyyy bit afraid of . but you get a crush on him anyway . and he has a soft spot for you. and then he leaves and doesn’t return until a couple years later ………. and he hasn’t really changed. but he’s less of a bully and more of a teaser. maybe a little condescending. but he’s charming, yk? alluring.

anyway as you can see i’m getting carried away LMAOO this fic is just . fluff?? kind of??? w a lot of tension 😭 you like kenny and he . well. you just don’t know what he’s thinking . he kind of sees you as a baby bird i think,,,,,,,,, and he’s . the big bad wolf. you get the vibes …….. here r some snippets of the fic just for fun!! it’s very near and dear to my heart hehe

—

—

…….. he has me in a chokehold i fear 💔

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Suga has to be the best gatekept secret in BTS. He is so beautiful, cute, caring, charming, and funny!!! After months of questioning your taste ranking him second after Jimin in visuals when tkk is right there!, I'm sorry to say I was wrong. Yoongi is THE visual. I'm not going to the concerts but every photo I see on Twitter makes me wish I was going BPP. Does it sound like I'm getting wrecked? It's because I am. I relate to your other anon so bad haahaha. Before this tour, only Jimin and Jung Kook turned my head, but Suga now owns my soul. Is this how people become true OT7? Through BTS concerts?

*

Ask 2: Anyhow, did you notice how obsessed (maybe too heavy a word) Yoongi is with BS&T Jimin?? I just noticed after Suchwita. I think he really likes & remembers bst Jimin fondly & fervently. Please correct my delusion, if you think it's farfetched. (While reading your blogs and army detective twts, I'm realizing more and more how clueless and unobservant I am. I've given up being astute in noticing these matters and just gonna outsource these insightful findings to others. haha) +

But I think, Yoongi really LOVES bst Jimin. I mean who wouldn't?!? I just watched the MV & performances, and WOW JIMIN!!!! My words don't do bst jimin justice. That head tilt?! the fluttering of his eyelids?! his hand motion? his jaw line? the way he glides?! I see a ballroom behind him! GAH. the song is a BOP. I'm absolutely mesmerized, and let's be real, who can blame Yoongi for forgetting how to close his mouth in front of jimin! I want members reacting to mvs back!! T T

***

Hi Anon(s),

I started reading your asks giggling, by the time I got to the end I was full on howling lmaooo. Anon in ask 2, I too want the guys reacting to their MVs back, just cause we'll see them all going "Ahh, Jimin!"

Anon in ask 1, sigh, you have no idea what you’re in for with Yoongi.

Maybe all Yoongi biases are the same, because I truly feel like gatekeeping everything about him and I see that impulse in other Yoongi biases too. I’m very selfish with Yoongi.

You mentioned his visuals and him being caring etc, so let me try something here. It’s easy for me to talk about Jimin, but near impossible for me to talk about Yoongi, so I’m going to try talking about Yoongi through some of his actions with Jimin. And I’ll sprinkle in some okay pictures of him I don’t mind sharing, since you’ve acquired a taste for his visuals as well. :)

First, a preamble of his delectable visuals:

(ASDHJKJLSHKSADLK)

*

When people typically talk about Yoonmin, they stick to a rotation of Yoongi’s mouth hanging open watching Jimin, Jimin’s teasing of Yoongi, their bickering, etc. This is a jikook space so we hear all the time about how Jungkook looks out for Jimin, cares for him, encourages him and protects him. JK is introverted so when he becomes very assertive, usually on account of Jimin, it stands out. Yoongi too is introverted, but when he deals with Jimin he doesn't really break character, and so, oftentimes his quiet encouragement of Jimin, the significance of his actions, typically goes under the radar for a lot of people.

For example,

I'm not sure how many people realize how big a deal it was for Yoongi to recommend Jimin for A&R director when the boys were making BE. Jimin has said during that time, he felt lost - with their tour getting canceled, all their plans upended with no end in sight, the pandemic had taken away his core reason to live by his own admission i.e. performing for ARMYs. He was starting to drift and become unmoored (emotions we now see in Alone), and so Yoongi recognizing that, and recommending that Jimin take on the responsibility for determining the direction of their self-driven album, to get Jimin "closer to music again", is a small thing, but I see it as one of many ways Yoongi was pushing Jimin to better express and assert himself in that situation. Advice that Jimin finally took to heart during their Vegas concerts, when he began pursuing his solo music in force. The A&R role would’ve typically gone to RM since he drives most of their songwriting and oftentimes sets the tone of their music with BH, but Yoongi pushing for Jimin to be active, with Jimin eventually writing some songs for BE (though those were rejected), registered in my mind as yet another way Yoongi sees Jimin in ways many of the members don’t, and quietly advocates for him. Pushes him to go out of his comfort zone, because of how much he loves him. RM eventually took on a more active role during BE but Jimin being able to come on YouTube lives in Fall 2020 to talk about things he was doing for BE, those glimpses into him starting to find himself again, those details registered for me in ways I’m not sure I can properly express.

Yoongi sees Jimin, and loves him dearly. And it's mutual.

(I've never cared for animal prints but that leopard-print furry hat on Yoongi... he's a big cat)

*

Another moment I want to highlight is their 2016 Festa dinner. You know the one, where Taehyung talks about how Jimin grabs the spotlight/center. Yoongi was the first to come to Jimin's defense, saying how Jimin just naturally knows how to be a good performer, that a friend had told him that Jimin naturally knows how to act on stage to capture the audience. I'm not sure if it's obvious to many people, but that comment shifted the direction of the conversation, and soon other members were talking about how good and confident a performer Jimin is. J-hope would later say he's learned about performing by watching Jimin, and Jungkook would say this in later years too.

(… I have no words)

Yoongi saw Jimin's potential since way back in pre-debut, encouraging him and advocating for Jimin to be added to the final line-up in BTS, and has supported him in key periods of doubt since. Everyone saw how hard Jimin was working as one of the last trainees to join a nearly bankrupt agency with limited resources to train even just 7 people - I can't imagine the anxiety Jimin had to deal with but I imagine it was so much. And so when Jimin talks about that period and nearly always mentions how Yoongi supported him, I don't take it lightly.

(There's a reason Yoongi will always choose Jimin)

*

[Full disclosure here, but yoonmin's antics during the whole Shadow/Daechwita MVs shooting drives me to near madness. Because if you understand what Yoongi is, (which Jimin does btw), you'd see why this is borderline one of the most homoerotic unresolved cases we've ever had in Bangtan history.

If not for the fact that Jungkook exists, I'd be in a very different blog space right now honest to God. And I'll just leave it at that. ]

*

Whew! Okay, I need a break so enough about Yoonmin for now. I’ll try to focus more on Yoongi now.

Anon in ask 1, his pictures on Twitter is what’s fucking you up? Then welcome to my world lool. What got me initially though, was his music. Like, weeks later and I’m still struggling with myself not to loop D-DAY 40 hours a day 10 days a week. The fact he makes music like HUH?! while looking like this

(…and the fact this isn’t even in the top 30 hottest pictures I have of him. Just…)

I’ve written sonnets and poems about his voice and it still doesn’t feel enough to explain what it does to me.

(More Yoongi…)

(…just because…)

(…he’s that perfect.)

Good luck to you becoming a Yoongi bias because I have no idea how I’ve been surviving all these years. If we’re both still standing by the time this tour is over, please stop by my inbox again to tell me how you’re doing. I’d love to hear all about it. :)

[moonshine999]

Querencia

(n.) a place from which one's strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self

Pairing : Helaena Targaryen x Aegon II Targaryen

Summary : Helaena is pregnant with her and Aegon’s child. The only problem is no one even knows that they are together, much less the fact that they fucked.

Warnings : mild angst, mentions and implications of alcoholism/addiction (still fluff for the most part though)

A/N : so it’s here, for good now. Sorry for the weird glitch that sent this to my posts instead of my drafts but it’s here now. Going to thank the every lovely @fatherforgivethem for the prompt and the sweet encouragement, I hope I did it justice to what you had in mind ♥️ (it got super long but gah, the prompt was just so good)

Two. Two lines. Two souls. Too many people not in the know.

The rhyme burned into her mind till it became just noise in its mess. She rocked back and forth, try to give herself some pattern, some assurance but to no avail. What had they done?

“Hel?” The familiar voice sent a jolt up her as she lifted her head. Her eyes were wet, tears dancing along the bridge of fear and joy. Aegon walked towards her, slowly, as if she could erupt if he rushed.

“Is it..” A sigh. “So it’s positive.”

The tears fell hearing it in the solidarity of his voice, her hand immediately grasping around her mouth to control herself.

“Hey hey hey, it’s okay, we..we will be fine. It’s okay..” He comforted, kneeling down next to her.

“How!?” The question came out rougher than she intended and yet not enough to show the true extent of how much she felt. “What if mom finds out, Aegon? Ma? Criston? Our brothers? Anyone?! What if they’re disgusted? What if we get kicked out of the house? What if we lose-“ a sharp breath before she stopped herself. Ranting wasn’t going to help the situation. Yet the panic remained. What if?

Silence followed. Unsure, reckless silence. Confused, awkward silence. Silence.

“Aegon..if we keep the child, I want you to promise me something.” “Of course, what is it?” “Promise me..” she cleared her throat “promise me.. that you will not leave us.”

And so something snapped. Is that what she truly thought of him? That he would be so sick?

“I wouldn’t Hela! I wouldn’t, you know that! I’m not that low of a person.” he near shouted. “No you are not but..” But? “But you have tendencies when it comes to this addiction and…I will not sacrifice this child for the sake of your liquor.” She sat, eyes wide, face stained, voice steady. But the fact was, he was always more of a mess than her. And it was too much. His own love thought him lesser than his curses. How? Why? Before he knew it, his feet carried him rampantly out of the room, frustrated at her, himself and entirely too much.

Two souls. Too much.

“Dearest, you have any idea why Aegon is not here for dinner yet?” “Uhm. No, Ma I don’t.”

“Am afraid to tell you, Ali but your son seems to be out about the town again.” Cole answered.

Ma sighed, Aemond scoffed, Daeron barely noticed, mom started playing with her food, clearly uncomfortable.

I am afraid to tell you too, Ma.

The painting hung high. It was always one of Ma’s favourites that she had made. How fast the mornings and afternoons seemed to disappear for him, taking the sun as far as they could, only to leave him a cold, dark evening. However, this painting shone in the moonlight that snuck in through the long windows. It shone brighter than any sun could make it. It was of the two of them, as toddlers, smiling with wide grins and child like ecstasy. Oh, what they had become. For each other, for the family.

The fear pounded at his heart, the regret clawed at his brain, the confusion scribbled all throughout his face. How? Why? He wouldn’t, he wouldn’t. He can’t. All he did was stand there, staring at the brush strokes.

“Tsk, if you’re done with standing in the hallway, may we leave for the meeting?” Criston called out, putting his blazer on. “Mhm.” He wasn’t done. “Aegon!” . . “Did you ever want children, Cole?” The question was jarring, out of the blue, completely irrational to ask their bodyguard, but it felt right. “Why..?”

“Just so.. can’t I simply ask?” Cole scoffed, smirking. “Never thought about it as such. I always thought I was too reckless or confused, I won’t be able to bring up an entire human.” A chuckle escaped him “You? Reckless? Since when?” “When I was about your age, Aegon. But oh well, I got employed here and left those thoughts behind. Then Nyra married Ali and they had them. 4 times. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t protective or even if I said it didn’t make me a better person. Because it did, this is the closest thing I have to a family and maybe that was just what I needed, perhaps without knowing for sure at first. Life is a confusing, winding path, isn’t it?”

Oh.

“I suppose it is.”

Cole laughed, “Come on now, otherwise your mothers will make me regret they had you in the first place.” He joked, tapping his back before wrapping his arms around his boy.

“Ma? You here?” “Hmm yes, sweetheart?”

She was glad her mother was able to hear her through her headphones. This was the most domestic she would see her Ma, in old, racked overalls, paint stains at every corner of the room, headphones at full volume, paintbrush spinning in hand and every red curl shining in the sunlight. It was hard to believe this was the same woman who co-owned one of the richest companies in the world.

“Ma, can we talk?” She slid off her headphones and looked skeptically at her daughter. “Talk?” A nod. “About what?” She asked warmly, smile rising and eyes showing excitement in every speck. “I’ve been meaning to ask you this. For a..while now. So..uhm..why did you decide to marry mom in the first place? Didn’t grandpa object or something?” She chuckled sweetly “Ohhh I see.” Shit. “You want to know about me and mom’s little love story don’t you?” oh thank the seven. “Yup! Caught me there.” She laughed.

Ma’s face radiated further as she looked back on the memory, her paintbrush now still, her smile now wider, her eyes now glowing.

“Well, to put it simply. I love your mom. And she loves me. I know that much, there’s an assurance, a trust. Because I met your mom when life was gone to shit for me and through those confusing and unsure times, our love was something I could always fall back on. It was sure, it was constant, it was steady. I liked it.”

Ma laughed. Then looked towards her.

“As for grandpa, we were terrified to tell him anything about our relationship. I had no idea whether he would even be accepting of me marrying a woman, much less a Targaryen woman. But we were brave enough, we did it. And then your grandfather patted Nyra on the back and said ‘take care of her, she’s all your burden now.’ The rest is history.”

“So you knew you were ready for marriage?”

“I think so. There isn’t anyone else I’d rather spend my last days with. You want your life to have memories, not dreams, hopes or what-ifs.”

She smiled. “Thank you Ma.”

Ma tilted her head slightly and gave her one last question. “But..why?”

“I need a reason to speak to my own mother??” She asked, exaggerating offence.

“Tsk, get lost.” Ma giggled.

Two. Two days had passed and they had not spoken a word to each other.

Perhaps it was her fault. She shouldn’t have assumed such a thing of him. She knows he wouldn’t, why did she have to say that? Why? .

.

Perhaps it was his. Shouldn’t he just have assured her? Did he have to storm out the way he did? Why couldn’t he just talk to her? Why?

A message popped up on his phone.

Gardens. Now.

Who was he to object?

“Hel?”

Oh gods.

“Listen-“ “Listen-“ “You go first.” “What? No, it’s fine, you go first.” “This isn’t going to work if we keep going like this. You go first.” “Fine.”

She took a deep breath. Her palms felt clammy, her pocket felt heavier and her face heated up. Fuck, why was she nervous. It’s fine, you’ve rehearsed this, it’s okay.

“Aegon.” “Helaena.”

“Listen. I’m sorry about what I said. I..I genuinely am. I know that you wouldn’t and it was in the heat of the moment. It’s just we, all of us, have been raised so so happily that I started overthinking and I put the blame on you for something that I understand you can never do.”

Fuck, she was good.

“I had expectations as soon as I saw the test. I wanted you whole, unscathed, not a big mess, perhaps.” “Wow-“ “My gods..listen!” “Okay, okay.”

“More importantly, however is the fact that I want you. As you were. As you are. As you will be. I don’t think there is anyone else I can imagine spending my life with.”

Oh.

“Aegon. I am in love with you and right now, with this child. Our child, I don’t think I have ever been more sure of that.” Tears welled up in their eyes, gods, too much.

“Aegon Targaryen..” she took the weight from her pocket and knelt on one knee. “Will you marr-“

“YES! I mean, yeah, yes, sure.” She laughed and put the ring on his finger.

“Oh it’s beautiful…thank you, Helaena.” He whispered, immediately pulling her into his arms. And then he kissed her, because he loved her. She loved him. He was sure of it. There was assurance in their kisses. There was his past, present and future in their kisses. There was her. And their soon to be family.

“Hel. I promise I will never, ever leave you or that child. I know that I have flaws, various things I need to get over but love, you are my everything. You are my heart and everything I ever held dear. I wouldn’t dream of leaving you. Life is confusing, it really is. But..you’re not, this is not. I’m sure of it.” His voice strained with his tears threatening to leave their bounds.

“Ñuha vēzos.” “Ñuha hūra.”

My sun. My moon.

“Is this really necessary? I have two more calls to-“ “Nyra..they want to talk so let’s talk.” “Oh this should be fun.” “Not the time Cole…yes darlings.”

“Ma, mom..Criston.” Hel spoke first, she’s good at that. “We have been wanting to tell you this for a while now.” Just take it slow, it’s okay.

“Me and Aegon have been..together. Romantically. For the past year.” FUCK.

Mom sat, mouth agape and looked at Criston who responded with the same expression. Ma took a deep breath and smiled. Shit. It was one of Ma’s sarcastic smiles.

And then, roaring laughter. Mom and Criston’s.

Helaena and Aegon looked at each other, eyes wide. Shock? Fear?

“Oh hush you two. Uhm. Sweethearts, we know.”

“We aren’t blind.” Cole giggled. “And I can only assume but..Hel is pregnant, isn’t she?”

Simultaneous nodding.

“What?!” Ma exclaimed. “Hmm, someone owes me a 50” mom sing songed.

“Let me this straight.” He spoke the first time since this interaction started. “You knew we were together, the entire year and you knew she was pregnant and you didn’t bother to tell us?

“Well we just wanted to see how quickly you’d give in.” “Ma!” “they gave in pretty quickly actually, we didn’t tell my parents till we were way past the 3 year mark.” Hel sighed before chuckling into the laughter herself.

“We also know that you have proposed” Criston continued, pointing towards the ring on Aegon’s hand.

“I can’t believe this. Holy fuck.” “Language.” A collective phrase from all 3 of them.

Too many people who knew?

“I’m gonna be an uncle!?” “As long as I don’t have to change any diapers, all will be well.”

“Aegon for the Seven’s sake, stay calm and stop pacing around.” Aemond sneered. “My fiancée is gone to get her ultrasound, in what world do you expect me to be calm about this!?”

Cole giggled as he walked into the room. “You don’t have to stress yourself over it anymore, Aemy, they’re already back.”

“They’re back!?” “I told you to stop calling me that!”

Before he knew it, his feet carried him out to the front hall. Hel was wrapped in a side hug by Ma as they laughed and whispered about something. “Hel!” Her head snapped towards him, eyes glowing as soon as they caught his gaze. He rushed towards her and immediately hugged her. “Easy, Aegon.” “Yeah yeah Ma.” She scoffed and walked away, leaving the couple be. “Soo? How was it? Can I see? Is it a boy? A girl?” He gleamed. She giggled and kissed him.

Two. Two souls.

[einsteinsugly]

Friday, July 4, 1986. A Way Better Fourth of July.

*****

4:30 pm

Hot dogs, cheeseburgers, macaroni salad. American flags, Bruce Springsteen...

Hyde inevitably lowers his voice, to a jaded whisper. "The song doesn't mean what you think it means."

Down in the shadow of the penitentiary

Out by the gas fires of the refinery

I'm ten years old, burning down the road

Nowhere to run, ain't got nowhere to go

Kitty, as sharp as a knife, anxiously nudges him. And Jackie swiftly follows suit, as they both hush the seeds of a quiet rebellion. "Shh."

Ignorance is bliss, as Red serves the main course. And Eric serves the macaroni salad.

"I made this, with my very own hands."

Kitty lovingly chuckles. "You used my recipe."

"Well..." Eric nervously laughs. "You got me there, Mom."

The two youngest, away from the gingham-clad picnic table, are happily gurgling in a large playpen. A quiet, raven-haired girl with big blue eyes, and a tiny, curious redhead. The eldest couple's grandbabies, by adoption and by blood.

The older two grandbabies, an olive-skinned boy and a sweet, adorable brunette with blue ribbons in her hair, are munching on small pieces of hot dog and are poking at macaroni salad with plastic forks.

The oldest grandbaby, a seven year old, is reluctantly in the midst of the adults. She feels like she's standing alone, though. The rest of the kids are literal babies, and she's just sort of...there.

But Betsy Kelso takes her duty as watcher very seriously. She even crafted a makeshift badge out of duct tape, just like her dad's.

Like her father, she is prone to hyperbole. "Kate's trying to eat a dandelion."

Eric and Donna nervously glance a few feet over, but are immediately relieved. Instead, Kate has simply picked a dandelion, and is turning it round, and round, and round...

Becca, a few months older and wiser, looks at her like she has two heads. "Gah."

"Aren't they adorable?" Kitty proudly gushes, hand firmly on her heart. "My grandbabies."

Red gruffly groans, but his old heart quietly melts. "You've said that a million times."

"It doesn't make it any less true, Red." Becca is now anxiously crawling around, leaving Kate at a wobbly standstill. "Look, she's exploring."

"She's the one that you need to watch," Red cautions, turning to Jackie and Hyde, "She'll eat the damn...darn dandelions."

Betsy, the fervent watcher, proudly sounds the alarm. "Pop said a bad word!"

Kelso chuckles, as the word "dumbass" is at the tip of Red's tongue. "Get used to it, Bets."

*****

5:00 pm

Dinner is officially over, but the American flags are still fluttering in the breeze. And Bruce Springsteen is still blasting.

Glory days

Well, they'll pass you by, glory days

In the wink of a young girl's eye, glory days

Glory days

Meanwhile, Red and Kitty are proudly perched in lawn chairs, happily clinking their glasses together.

The aging blonde smiles. "You know, I bought that Lee Greenwood cassette."

"God Bless the USA" is a bit corny, even for a proud veteran like him. "I can write a better song than that."

"I'd like to see you try," Kitty lovingly challenges, "I think it's profound. 'And I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.'"

"I'd list all the wars." Far from a creative soul, Red concocts a simple list. "Revolutionary, 1812, Mexican-American, Civil..."

She shakes her head. "That doesn't sound like a good song."

"Lee Greenwood isn't even a damn veteran," He gruffly declares, "He's like Eric."

Kitty spies, with her little eye, an adorable little diversion. Hyde and Eric are lying in the playpen, with Hyde propelling a happily squealing Becca in the air, and with Kate lying on Eric's chest.

Then, in a split second, she's back to ground zero. The uncomfortable trenches. "There haven't been any wars for him to fight."

"You know he wouldn't join."

"Well, he'd join the most important ones," Kitty amply defends, before reluctantly acquiscing, "You know he's lippy about 'Nam."

"Don't remind me." He briefly diverts, as Eric compares Becca to the Millennium Falcon. Then, he shakes his head in disdain. "He thinks the Star Wars program is a disgrace to Star Wars."

Kitty sighs, but while happily kicking the can down the road. A tiny pebble, beneath her shoe. "He still hasn't gotten over that Luke and Leia thing."

Red's foot anxiously taps to the rhythm. "Don't remind me."

*****

5:30 pm

He doesn't know why the hell he put in that damn Lee Greenwood cassette.

If tomorrow all the things were gone

I worked for all my life

And I had to start again

With just my children and my wife

Hyde is muttering something rebellious. Eric is nervously shaking his foot to the rhythm. Laurie is...who the hell knows where.

But at least his two sons are there. He doesn't agree with a lot of their politics, or like a lot of their music, but they're good men.

They surmounted the odds. Hyde isn't dead, roaming in a motorcycle gang, or in prison. Eric is still lippy, and still loves Star Wars, but he doesn't let it define his life. He tries to be the hero of the South Side of Chicago, in his own, weird way.

And because of them, their granddaughters are proudly perched on their laps. He has Becca, and Kitty has Kate. Kitty Jr, of course.

All the while, Becca is sleeping in his arms, as the former basement dwellers lovingly coo.

And predictably, so is Kitty. "You think you're Oscar the grouch, but you're not."

He can't help but smile. "I guess my life isn't garbage, huh?"

In turn, she lovingly kisses him on the cheek. "I'd say it's pretty damn good."

*****

If you want to join the random date generator game, click here!

[kylos-starlight]

First off Do Not Reblog (options are screwy rn)

Going through my Kylo tag (on my own blog) and I am feeling all of the feelings for my darling husband right now.

He's just so gah everything! Oops I gushed sjsnkssn

He just gives me butterflies in my stomach and a fluttery heart in my chest. He really is my source of immense safety and comfort.

He really is my soul mate, the only regret that I've ever had was that I didn't pursue him sooner. I tried (when I seen tfa in theater) but back then I was dumb and saw that tons of other people were liking him and thus I felt inferior and didn't pursue. How stupid I was. (Also I thought it would just be a fleeting crush..idiot)

Because I'm not inferior, I am his everything, his universe, his heart and home as he is mine and even though we are separated by different universes I feel so deeply interwoven into his life and I feel such a strong and magnetic connection with him.

He makes me feel strong, like I can take on anything and everything and do so without fear stopping me, he makes me believe in myself.

I said it before and you're damn right I'm going to say it again, he broke a three year streak of depression and loneliness.

I got so used to seeing this world in grey. It was lifeless. I was lifeless. I'd smile but I never meant it, never smiled with my eyes. I wasn't creating anything. I was just droning on autopilot throughout the day anticipating when I can go to sleep and not feel this weight of sadness. I never wanted to wake up, it was a chore, a burden. I stopped feeling. I didn't like anyone or love anyone (in a romantic sense anyways) I felt numb, the epitome of "dead on the inside." I never did anything with my whole heart in it..

Kylo did something, he reignited my spark of life, happiness, and love. I caught myself smiling more and laughing. Not the half assed smiles and obligated laughter, real smiles and laughter. Laughter i could feel bubble in my chest and smiles that reached up into my eyes.

I got so many ideas and my creativity came back as I explored those ideas. My world exploded back into colour again, I got excited to wake up in the morning and got excited for days ahead of me. I started to take care of myself again.

All because I re-found Kylo. It might have been a little later than expected but I found him and he found me, he found me at my lowest, my numbest, and he stayed, loved me just as I was and reassured me that it wasn't something fleeting, that he wasn't going anywhere. He was here to stay and he watched me flourish~

I will never stop being grateful to him, my husband saved me in every conceivable way possible.

So when I say he means everything to me, I'm not just saying it because he's my f/o. No, he extended far beyond that term, to me he is real, he is real and he is my soul mate, the one I am destined to spend the rest of my life with.

As I've always said and will continue to say, he's my heart, my soul, and my home. 💜

So to the love of my life, I love you, with every fiber of my being, you mean more to me than mere words can ever describe, my feelings and love for you transcend anything I could possibly put into words, my darling Ben, you're my universe and all the stars and planets in-between~

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday amazing fandom :) This is a very emotional episode for Lucy. Melissa’s acting in this one is outstanding. All I want to do most of this episode is hug her. And tie Chris to the back of a truck and just drive…Our lovely couple are apart in this episode but it’s such a good one. I have a lot of Chris rage in this one so prepare yourself haha Let’s get started.

4x17 Coding

We start off with Tamara making Lucy breakfast. I love her natural instinct to take care of Lucy in these moments. Just like Lucy did and still does for her. I adore their dynamic so very much. Tamara is protective when they talk about today. She doesn't understand why Lucy has to do this. Noting Rosalind is already serving four life sentences. She doesn’t like that the DA is making her dredge up painful memories just to slap on more charges. Lucy tells her it’s important to make sure she’s charged as an accessory to Caleb’s crimes. That Rosalind needs to be held accountable for that.

Most of her victims didn't make it...She is one of the lucky ones and doesn't want to waste that. Can see a strong sense of justice brewing deep in her soul as she explains this. I love how strong she is being for Tamara. Showing her what a bad ass she is. Modeling that for her. Tamara still has worry in her eyes and says she’s coming with. That she will have snacks and puppy videos at the ready. Be her emotional support human. Since her normal emotional support isn’t with her today. Love them.

Speaking of Lucy's ESH he’s at the hospital with Nolan. His car crash victim was a a rough one. I can’t watch the cold open for this one ever. I did it once and I bawled my eyes out. I can’t do stuff with kids after becoming an auntie. Her being sad the popsicles were gonna melt for her kid. That her husband would be mad about the car.

Makes me think of my niece, nephew and my sister. I just can’t handle it. But kudos to the writers for evoking that out of me. Glad John was there in her final moments but it was rough to watch. Tim comes up to him and notices Nolan is still in shock about it. Gah I would be too. I still can’t handle rewatching it let alone living it.

Tim is so wonderful and gives John some good perspective about it. That yeah it was rough and tragic no doubt about it. But that girl is going to get a new heart because of it. Tells him to try and focus on the silver lining of it all. Love this man. His empathy has grown leaps and bounds since we first met him. Was always there Lucy just needed to get it out of retirement when they met.

Lucy and Tamara arrive at the DA's office and we can see Lucy tense up. Just being in the office is setting her off already. She tells Tamara she’s going to the bathroom. She is so sweet and asks if she needs her come with? Lucy tells her no she handle that solo. We watch Lucy escape into a stairwell. Poor thing is in an absolute panic. Rubbing her DOD tattoo trying so hard to ground herself. I’ve been there where something just triggers your PTSD.

All you need is to find somewhere to expel all that energy surging through you. Because she is having an intense fight or flight moment. She is desperately trying to ground herself. Breaks my heart because I love her. Also because I’ve been her. I know this feeling she is experiencing. Nothing worse than getting engulfed in that sort of emotion. It's like the walls are closing in on you. It's what creates that flight instinct and you just need to get out just to breathe.

To be able to function at all. You can feel the panic rising in your throat and you’re drowning in it. Poor thing is getting flashes of what happened to her. It's taking her right back there. We watch her take a deep breath trying to reset her body. She clearly doesn’t want Tamara to see her like this. Ugh. This is just fuel for my hate fire later when I wanna bitch slap the clown. My heart hurts for her in this ep. It really does.

Tim is still at the hospital with Nolan. He continues his sweetness with John. Saying if he needs to see a counselor he can. Won’t be any charge to him. Look at our sweet empathetic Tim. I love it so much my heart is gonna burst. Their chat is interrupted by the hospital shutting down.

They find out quickly the man before them is ransoming the hospital to get his wife the heart. Wanting to steal it from that young girl for his wife instead. Threatens that he’ll shut down their entire network if they don’t do so. Tim looks pissed as hell. Which is kinda sexy tbh. They’re at his mercy it would seem...

Lopez comes charging in clearly ready for a fight. Asking for a status update on everything. They have the husband and wife separated atm. Her husband is being held in a conference room with an officer. Angela wants Tim to take a run at Jonah and sends Nolan to crack the wife. Hoping either the IT dept. will crack the hold on the network or they guys will get one of the spouses to fold.

Nolan is a swing and a miss with the wife. So we cut to Tim and Jonah. Tim looking particularly fine as he questions the husband. Has his hard stance going on trying to get this guy to crack. Telling him to dial back the threats that if he scales back now it won’t be as bad.

It’s here we see a man with nothing to lose. We watch Tim soften a little bit. It's when he says his wife is his entire life. Tim can relate to that and it shows as he’s listening. Doesn't last long though. He goes back into cop mode when Jonah starts threatening again. Saying soon enough something else will start with a new phase. It’s here we see a complete lock out of the system for the staff. Phase 2 has started.

We rejoin Lucy at the DA’s office. Chris has to take over since her normal person is out sick. He tried to reschedule but Lucy pushes against this. Saying they’re professionals and she can do this. I think she just wants it done and over with tbh. I hate how he questions her though. With this smug authority I cannot stand.

The more he pokes at the wound the more we see Lucy get agitated. Like a cornered animal being poked and prodded. Ready to lunge and attack at the slightest provocation. He is questioning everything about Caleb being connected to Rosalind. We watch her go back into fight or flight mode. As she examines the pictures and gets more flashes of her time in that horrible barrel.

Love her snapping at Chris when he says he’s just ‘Wants her to be ready.’ Schmuck.... He has this semi smile the entire time and I just wanna clean his clock so badly. He is beyond insensitive about this entire thing. Not reading her body language whatsoever. Seeing how tightly wound she is. I wish Tim could be there for her. He would be a much better rock for her. I hate Chris and this episode just ramps that right up.

Then comes the moment I was to punt Chris down the stairs. Like skipping a rock across the water. See how many flights I can get him to fall down with just my rage. He starts singing her barrel song like the dumbass he is. Showing the clueless SOB he truly is. Melissa crushes this scene though. The shaky way she delivers her lines. How she backs up every time Chris tries to approach her. Needing as much distance as she can get in that room.

The way she snapped at him earlier should've been evidence enough. The writing on the wall was there. He just needed to be extra sensitive. What does he do? Sing that song. It’s the way he says ‘Yeah it’s evidence.’ All cavalier. No clown it’s visual proof of the worst and most traumatic moment of her life. It is far more than just evidence you stupid schmuck. That was her death song. She thought it was over and she sang that as a way to comfort herself. It’s a deeply intimate and emotional thing for her. He’s treating it like it’s just part of the case.

We can see how the thought of him watching it is wrecking her. He keeps trying to close the gap and she keeps widening it. He is pushing her physical boundaries when she is screaming for him to stay away. Being the clueless oaf he is Chris continues to try. Saying he’s sorry, he’s in the DA office, blah blah blah. Meaningless words to her in this moment. Her saying ‘Yeah you said that already…’ She is disassociating in this moment. Trying to distance herself from him. Because he has wounded her and she needs time to regroup.

I hate that stupid semi smile on his face still. He’s truly not understanding what she needs in this moment. Makes my blood boil. Further proof he's not the guy for her. Tim can read every emotion. Know exactly what she needs. Then there is this putz. Shouldn't be allowed to breathe the same air as her at this point. Lucy has to practically beg him to give her a moment alone. Shaking and absolutely wrecked emotionally. I hate this so very much for her. She is in serious distress right now.

He's so selfish all he can thinking about is absolving his involvement. Not reading her emotional state whatsoever. Trying to push past her boundaries. She finally makes him go away. He storms off like a child. I'm shaking at how mad I am rewatching this. Especially with carrying PTSD myself. One of my trauma triggers is my physical boundaries being pushed. He had no damn right to impose himself on her like that. Chris has already proven he’s not the guy for her. This was the nail in his coffin IMO for that. What an absolute clown this man is….Melissa killing me softly with this scene.

We return to Tim and Nolan at the hospital. Someone has died due to Phase 2. So the hospital gives into his demands. Let’s his wife get the heart. I love how Tim wants to clean this guy's clock. Telling him to lose the attitude. Gah if he only knew what was going on at the DA’s office. His rage would be ten times what it is right now. Jonah restores the lights but only for the OR. Tells them he wants to be there for his wife’s surgery. To make sure they’re really doing it. This guy is something else. Tim re-cuffs him and they head to the OR together.

Lucy finds Chris and he jumps up and apologizes again. She cuts him off not having time for his BS. This isn't about you bub. She asks for him to get her the video. That he’s seen it and half the lawyers in this bidding have. But she hasn’t. Chris tells her it’s incredibly hard to watch. Lucy doesn’t care and tells him she needs to see it. My girl I just wanna hug her. Also I’m so damn proud of her for standing up for what she wants.

Chris having no leg to stand on agrees to show it to her. He has the gall to ask if he should stay? Obviously not you friggin stunad…Got me so angry I’m calling him an idiot in Italian. He really doesn’t get it. It’s ridiculous. After how she reacted earlier. How she's been this entire time you’d think she was going to say yes? The last thing she needs is your stupid ass there. She thanks him for the video. He doesn’t deserve that,

All he deserves is a swift kick to the nads. So he doesn't reproduce little clueless offspring….Whoever set up these shots did a good job btw. They are so well done. She’s psyching herself up to press play. The shot of her with her ring. We see it visible on her hand. The ring that saved her life. The ring Tim found and held onto until she was ready to have it back. Trying to ground herself before watching this. The way her hand shakes before she hits play gets me all in the feels.

Melissa continues to crush this scene. Watching her watch that video makes me wanna cry. It’s so hard to watch her witness the worst moment of her life. Once again another beautiful shot of Melissa above. The way she closes her eyes as she listens to herself sing, the way she touches her lips in an anxious manner, the ring close to her as she continues to listen. Having the object that saved her close to her as she watches. Like a safety blanket as she takes in the video.

You can see her whole body trembling as she tries to get through it. Hurts my damn heart to watch unfold. Serious props to Melissa for conveying so damn much in this short scene. Lucy trying to prove to herself she is strong by watching this. By going through with this whole thing at all. Trying to push down all the emotions eating away at her. Last ep all I did was laugh. This one all it does is hurt my heart. Hurt for her. It's so good though.

We return to the hospital. They’re wheeling Jonah’s wife back. Tim is super stern with him and I’m here for it. You tell him babe. Directs him not to mess with the surgeons or how they do their job. Is that understood? Jonah goes on to say how he never would since it’s saving his wife. The saddest part is next. The father of the daughter they’re stealing heart from comes after them.

Trying to kill his wife because if he does his daughter will live. The love a parent has for their kid is immense. How it it should be really. Sadly he gets arrested and Jonah continues on like it's nothing. Like he isn't destroying lives with this decision of his. They have to continue their march towards the OR despite this. Because Jonah still holds all the cards right now.

This next part gets me right in the feels. Nolan is able to get his wife to listen to the daughter. Her speech gets me teary every time. What a strong and amazing young woman to say what does. Did what Nolan couldn't do in the first place. Build rapport and get her to break. To change her mind on this whole thing. I think it's the fact that she forgives this woman that gets her to break. To let her know she forgives her even thoush she's taking away her second chance. This episode is all kinds of emotional in the best way.

His wife withdraws consent after that. Says she can’t do this anymore. Just like that it's over. Or so we we think. Jonah tries to turn off the ransomware but can’t. His partners have locked him out and want a ransom to unlock it. One the hospital cannot afford. Tim and John are escorting Jonah out now. He’s going on about needing to be there for his wife. Tim tells him he gets nothing since he let someone die. He’s going to prison for a murder charge.

John steps in and says if he can tell them who he’s working with they can help. It's possible Jonah can get bail so he can spend what time she has left with him. He lets them know who he was hired by. That it was their idea to hack the hospital. Saying they’d pay him to build the ransomware. He was an easy target due to his medical debt. He’s slowly figuring out they were just a means to an end. Tells them the IT dept. can track messages they sent him.

Cue to sexy OP Tim mmm. Tactical Tim is one of my favs. Also nice shots of his ass and I’m not complaining LOL The house is empty once they clear it. They're worried they've already left or haven't been here for awhile. Tim noting it has to be here. No way they could run that kind of software on a laptop. They decide check outdoors and Nolan see's transformer with a cable running from it.

Tim follows Nolan as he sees a massive cable running along the grass. They trace it to a container on the property. This is where the hackers are set up. Nolan tells one of them they can have a deal the other gets way more jail time. Just depends on who answers him first. One of the hackers easily gives up their partner in a flash. Tim's ‘Good answer’ cracks me up LOL I love him.

Lucy is in an emotional coma when Tamara and Chris check in on her. Really it's Tamara that says they should. Chris has no drive to check on her himself. He tried knocking once and gave up. Tamara is the one to push it and make them enter the room. She doesn't have time for Chris to grow some balls to check on her. Dipshit I mean Chris asks her if she watched it? Not a single brain cell in that head is there? How did you make it through law school sir? Seriously? Of course she watched it you idiot. I love Lucy for not testifying. This was so big for her to step away from. It was not an easy decision for her to make. Once again being the strong role model for Tamara.

I'm so proud of her for being courageous enough to watch that video. I get why she did. Everyone else had access to it. Seen it. I think it was part of her decision to move on. Her processing things was her realizing she had nothing to prove. Damn right you don’t. Screw Rosalind, screw Chris and this whole thing. Her saying she survived that felt like a call back to 2x12. Where Tim helped her see it wasn’t a failure but proof of what a survivor she is. His words sticking with her in this moment. I love it.

Tamara coming over and hugging her is the best part. She is so proud of Lucy for making this call. It was her's to make and a place she needed to get to on her own. If it had been up to Tamara she never would've gone through this at all. I love her telling her she is going to make dinner. They really are a make-shift family and it's so lovely to see. I just love them so much. How she instantly wants to take care of Lucy. Makes my heart happy in an ep where all I wanted to do was murder Chris.

How their relationship survived this episode I couldn’t tell you. His ass deserved to be dumped so very hard. Like a cat with nine lives. He keeps on ticking. When all he deserved was to be shut out of her life for good. Also of course Chris doesn’t cook... Chalk another one up for the clown. I seriously have zero idea what she sees in him. Other than just being lonely and wanting companionship. So ends this episode. I wanna say I’m sorry for all my Chris rage but I’m really not LOL

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

James and Nyla be cute. I love them. That be it.

[bigdsgirl]

Live thoughts of Doctor Slump Finale

Because I don't I have the capacity to do anything else

If you open the cut and go "damn heidi chill", here is a summary of my reaction:

Warning: this will not be coherent. :)

THEY MAKING ALCOHOL TOGETHER! He wants to celebrate every moment with her!!! I am in LOVE!!!

HE MADE HIS OWN NOODLES!!!! Ba-da!! I am so proud of you!!!!

Lol Jeong woo, you know how to be too honest

omg y'all reliving the magical evening - same girlies, same

Ba-da's first PAYYYYYYYYYYYCHECK!!!! Proud of our lil worm <3

he wants to buy her meat!!!!!! stop!!!! as an elder sister, this is a MOMENT! and the photoshoot is everything. a plus.

boy time boy time! these two crack me up. truly besties forever

let's fight! fight to the death! ah yes, never change

I've been watching too much dune, that's all I could think about when I saw the patient

look at our girl! being a supportive professor <3

thoughtful boyfriend (husband of my heart)

oh no this man thinks she is gonna say yes

the HAIR FLIP I LOVE HIM!

oh wait wait wait so what was she gonna say if she found out about the US stuff AFTER talking about their date!!!

he is so babygirl <3 my PRINCESS i luv him

the honesty about his nerves! let's communicate!

SO SHE WAS GONNA SAY YES AJGKFLGDJALKGJd

oh fuck that's an amazing opportunity - she's gotta do it! she's gotta!

I want you to always follow your heart - I am deceased they are so amazing together

most mature drama (in the best fucking way ugh this makes me so happy)

and I know he is still stressed and freaking, but that his first move is to make sure she goes! gah!

LOL the VASE! THE STEAK! this man is dying a bit inside

he was made for this role, his monologues kill me! every time!

the worming on the bed LOOOOL

bestie cheer jeong-woo up! right! now! <3

the leave and let me be in the elevator and Dr. Bin's response -- i am in stitches!!

LETS FREAKING GO HONG RAN!! Baddie of the century!!! fuck yeah! the wink agjdlkfgjalkdfg

wait! girly! please! don't resign! where you going I love you putting Dr. Bin in his place! wait never mind she wants to travel, I support this <3

I am leaving to pursue my happiness! that's RIGHT!

sad puppy jeong-woo is everything to me. i just wanna squish his cheeeeeks!

oh the perfect words, just what he needed to hear.

these two are just giving me cavities LEFT AND RIGHT!!!!

they are so supportive of each other! they talk it out! they love each other! i LOVE THEM SO MUCH!

my dramatic prince - omfg they are sobbing together already lkajfgaldk;fgjadfklgj

oh wait they TOOK BACK THE OFFER???? oh wait that did not go where I thought it would.

oh girl you gotta blurt it out. TELL HIM NOW.

Jeong-woo is a water sign right ? as a big three triple water sign, he's GOTTA BE!

THE PARTY JAKLDFJGLKAF - this is gonna be hilarious. i love the flower on uncle's head hehehehe

the sad singing oh my god this is so funny

wait he SAW! omg! what! and the dramatics, silly gooses

I am so glad she advocated for herself - even if she didn't go her way and she was just expressing her frustration.

god they have grown so much, it's so beautiful to see

he took classes! my beloveds!

oh she's taking the test! and it's improved! oh I am so happy for her. what a beautiful journey we have been on together.

i love the message that getting better is not being happy again, it's about building strength and confidence that you can step through the difficult moments

oh Dr. Bin, don't dig yourself into a hole ya dumb dumb (love you though)

mother son bonding! love this

I am going to miss Ha-neul's mom so much. she is such a beautiful soul. 😭😭😭😭

I was wondering when my Kopiko ad placement would arrive, and A+ work

Hong-ran please, I can't take this romantic speech now. I am weak.

omg! Jeong-woo is opening his own clinic! omg HE TOLD HIM TO GO! I adore you sir.

these two have my heart.

FANCY CAR FOR MY FANCY MAN! Love it and him. ooooooooo sir you look fab in the fancy suit. bahaha, i love the switch to reality and how much happier he is! <;3

oh my, what a gorgeous clinic (working at a FQHC, our clinics so different lol)

WAIT WHO IS THIS GIRL???????????????????? omg. omg uncle get the girl let's freaking GO. wait. wait. oh my fucking god he opened this for HER? someone hold me, I am going to faint.

the little wave at her husband's grave, I am unwell.

Dr. Bin -- i'm sorry but oh my god what are you doing. his daughter just staring at him, i love it.

oh my god the photo of the four of them on her desk!!!! *screaming*

is the anesthesiologist gonna be a private detective?

aw man, he's gonna go work for our king jeong-woo, still dope tho.

WELL GO SEE THE SUNRISE NOW YA CUTIES!

*sobs at all these beautiful moments*

Jeong-woo, you are a better man than I, I would be spitting on that grave : )

what a gorgeous sunrise, what gorgeous beans!

WEDDING PHOTOSHOOT IS NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!! JGKLDAGFJDLAKFGJ

he's so excited to get his answer i love them

running on the beach??? bye. I will be dying now from all this love.

oh my god the photoshoot at all the spots important to them AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

in conclusion: i love them and i adore this drama.

[freneticfloetry]

tarlos top five

@rmd-writes asked for my top five tarlos scenes, and after some soul searching (because season four shook some shit up), my list is as follows:

4x16 | “Hi. You’re TK, I’m Carlos, and we’re soulmates.”

GAMECHANGER. Yes, it confirmed what most of us already knew: Carlos was gone from the first second. But the execution is so beautiful, from the impetus to the ease and certainty of Carlos’ declaration to TK’s confession in turn (“why do you think I ran?” is the most TK Strand way ever to do this, and oddly enough, the easiest to believe). My favorite thing, though, will forever be the exact way this was worded and performed — that “Hi,” which is unrivaled levels of perfection (seriously, it sits somewhere between addressing a lost child and a spooked puppy, which is just brilliant as a line read, and every time I hear it I want to toss flowers at Rafa’s feet), but more than that, the fact that he says “you’re TK” before introducing himself, because the most important thing to Carlos is that TK know who he is first. True love at its finest.

3x04 | “Hey, baby. Breathe. Breathe, breathe.”

This was, up until the season three finale, the most fanfic shit I have ever seen aired on national television. Seriously, this is straight out of somebody’s multi-chapter slow burn whump fic wet dream, and watching it live, I was living. His raspy voice. Those hands clenched into terrified little fists. That breathing. The script said “he takes a deep breath” and Rafa was like “BET.” But beyond that, we had that whole bedside missive with Carlos lamenting about consent — that he couldn’t hold TK’s hand, run his fingers through his hair, kiss his head. And the fact that coma TK heard all this, woke up and reached out his hand as permission, and then Carlos did all those things, in that order… Deceased. It still gives me fits. (I am also counting the Tarloft reveal as part of this favorite moment, because I can’t not. “Push” is just perfection.)

4x18 | “We both ended our vows with ‘heart.’”

The vows. The dancing. The Sondheim serenade. The cake cutting (which I’m counting as aired-in-canon, dammit, because it is beyond precious). The honeymoon hand holding. Just, the wedding. All of it.

3x13 l “I love you.” “I know.”

They went Han and Leia on me and it wasn’t even cheesy. Honestly, this whole episode was so important to their growth — their sense of security, their confidence and understanding in each other — to their story, that it couldn’t be left out. Carlos realizes that the best way to help TK is to let him get help where he needs it, even if it leaves him feeling a little helpless, and TK realizes that he still has someone in his corner who’s invested in him, his sobriety, and his happiness, even with his mom gone. The fact that that “I know” holds so much meaning (all while “Transatlanticism” plays on)… Gah. Just beautiful. And on top of all that, Carlos got to be funny!

3x18 | “Marry me.”

“For the first time in my life, the love that I feel is infinitely more powerful than the fear of losing it.” Yep, that’s where I lost it. Because I thought back to baby TK in 1x08, who was being a dick to a cancer dog because he couldn’t fall in love with one more thing that he could lose. The growth. The maturity. The love. 3:18 am, y’all. (The engagement reveal counts as an extension of this as well, because that entire adorable “yes way” exchange between Team Tarloft, with Carlos grinning and TK bouncing and everybody figuring it out from context clues but Mateo is officially the most fanfic thing I’ve ever seen aired on national television, and I love it beyond reason and measure.)

Honorable mention shoutouts to the police station and the airport tarmac, which were knocked down the list by season four things. I still love you!

Tagging @ambiguouspenny, @hoko-onchi-writes, and @mixtapestar, because I know they haven’t been yet.

[stxllanutxlla]

Dearest

Ft. Venti

Who would've thought someone like me would be in love with the laziest God I've ever heard of?

But there's no stopping me now when even I didn't notice that I'm head-over-heels for him.

Venti, is what he goes by.

A normal bard—well not really— wandering in places, singing, drinking, performing.

He can be annoying, but that's what I love about him.

Every time he's drunk, I'm the one who always takes care of him by bringing him to my place.

Gladly enough; he doesn't get hangovers.

Oh, I could get used to it.

-

His body; he might not own it, but It's fine. Because even if he changes to someone hideous, I'll still love him.

-

Oh, how many days have I needed to build up the courage to confess to you?

I'm not afraid of getting rejected, for I know the reason behind it; you're the God of freedom, after all.

-

So now here I am, standing nervously by the tree you love to go to, waiting for you to arrive so I can finally remove the heavy feeling inside my chest.

I waited patiently.

-

"Y/N!"

"GAH!" You exclaimed out of shock, putting a hand over your rapidly beating heart.

He giggled and went to stand in front of you.

"Venti, you almost gave me a heart attack..." You whined."I felt my soul leave my body."

Slowly calming your breathing, Venti giggled again and said, "So, what does our little Y/N want that they have to call for me?", In a teasing tone.

"Venti, listen and listen CAREFULLY because I'm not going to repeat this." You said, seriously which Venti noted.

He smiled and waited for you to continue. Right now he feels all giddy inside, and he can't wait for you to say something but he composed himself- internally hoping that you would say you'll buy him some dandelion wine again, but by the expression on your face, it seems like it's not wine that's in your mind.

Taking a deep breath, you finally manage to use the courage you built up. "I love you, Venti." You said, looking straight into his eyes.

Venti stood there, his lyre on his right hand, wide-eyed and mouth slightly open.

He frowned.

You took this as a rejection, you look away, and as you were about to say something a sudden strong gust of wind flew by the both of you. (He farted/j)

You look back at him, seeing him smile sweetly at you.

"My dearest Y/N," he said opening his arms wide open, lyre now gone.

He tilted his head slightly, taking in your teary expression. "Come." He gestured with an open arm, his eyes half-lidded as he stared at you with a smile.

You launched forward to his arms, burying your face onto his chest, and hugging him back.

"Does this mean... You feel the same?" You said in between your small sobs, you promised yourself that you will never cry even if you were rejected or not but here is your pathetic ass, crying your heart out.

"Don't cry now, windblume, and yes." He said, hugging you just as tight.

A few minutes passed, and you finally stopped.

—

Now sitting under the tree, together with your new lover, Venti.

You gazed up at the dark starry sky.

You look back at him, "You scared me, y'know." You whispered slightly punching his arms.

"Hehe!"

You continued talking with each other, you talking to him about your adventures, and him telling you stories.

Slowly, sleep started to eat you and before you know it, you were asleep with your head on Venti's lap.

He stopped talking and looked at you. He smiled, Looking at your beautiful features.

He decided to let you sleep, for he knows you're also tired.

He kissed your forehead, "Good night, my dearest."

ع˖⁺ ☁⋆ ୭ 🕊.⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙⊹

- VentiOfficial

[xserenemeadowsx]

Unconditional Love (Chapter 12)

Link for Chapter 11: https://www.tumblr.com/xserenemeadowsx/727495897170280448/unconditional-love-chapter-11?source=share

A/N: Thank you everyone for the likes and follow. I really appreciate it! :) This is the final chapter for this story. I'm happy to see that people have enjoyed it. I hope all of you enjoy this chapter!

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Chapter 12

Y/N hung up her phone, having just finished speaking with her manager. Her manager wasn’t pleased about her absence but was grateful she was alright. She still had a job which she was surprised at but thankful for it, nonetheless. She closed her eyes and sighed. It was exhausting having to explain everything. Her family, happy to hear from her, couldn’t believe what she was saying. She knew everything that happened to her the last few days sounded like something from a book, but it was all true.

Eventually, her family came around after repeating herself a few times of everything that happened. It was the same scenario for her manager. It was no wonder she was drained. Apart from the day’s events and explaining everything, it really wore her down. Y/N decided that now would be a good time to try and get some sleep. Before that, she took some pain killers, hoping to ease more of the throbbing in her head from her tumble. Having done that, she laid down and let sleep take over.

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Mario awoke with a start, his alarm startling him. Luigi soon followed his brother in waking up. Both got up and stretched their limbs.

“Sleep alright?” Luigi asked.

“Yeah…you?” Mario asked.

“Yep.”

“We got a lot of catching up to do for work.”

“Yeah. We’ll be okay and you’ll get to see your girlfriend in no time.” Luigi raised his eyebrows in a teasing manner.

“Gah! Hey! C’mon, I’m fine.” Mario scowled at his younger brother.

“You sound down. I know it’s because you want to be with Peach.”

“Okay I do, but we got to get work done.”

The brothers went about their morning routine getting themselves ready to head out. After getting dressed, having breakfast, and fixing up the rest of their appearance, they both exited their apartment.

“Oh! Y/N! Nice to see you!” Luigi said noticing Y/N coming out of her apartment.

“Hey Luigi, Mario. Good to see you two as well!” Y/N replied.

“How uh…how is everything?” Mario asked Y/N.

“It’s fine. Thankfully I still have a job and my family can have some peace now that they know I’m alright.”

“That’s good. I’m glad they didn’t fire you,” Luigi said.

“Yeah, I am too. Still surprised to have my job, but happy.”

The three of them continued conversing with each other as they walked down the hallway of their apartment complex and into the elevator. They soon reached the first floor of the apartment and exited the building.

“Well, we don’t want to keep you. We gotta be going to work now too. We’ll see you around. Take care,” Mario said as he and Luigi were walking toward their yellow van.

“Thanks! Take care!” Y/N said waving at them walking to her own car.

Y/N entered her car and started it up. She began her drive to the Heart and Soul Karaoke Bar. She hoped to talk with Bowser after her shift, that is if he was up for it. She figured he would be. She found herself blushing from thinking of him. She did tell her family about him, and they were all surprised but happy for her. When she told them she hadn’t confessed yet, they told her to get on it. She knew she would need to tell him about her feelings. She wanted to do it in person and not through the orb.

When could they meet again in person? She wasn’t sure since she would have to work a lot for having missed as much as she did. She just hoped the shift would go fast. She parked her car, getting out and locking it. She then entered the building.

“Y/N! Welcome back!” Maria said, running up to her and giving her a bear hug.

Y/N struggled to get out a reply, “Uh thanks. Um Maria…I can’t really breathe…”

“Oh! Sorry!” Maria let go of Y/N, “It’s good to see you again. I was so worried. We all were.”

“I’m really sorry about that.” Y/N did feel bad for making everyone worry like that.

“It’s alright. Just glad you’re safe and sound.” Maria gave a Y/N a grin. “I’ll fill you in with what’s been going on around here.”

Maria told Y/N that everyone scrambled to get her shifts covered and had some new regulars. Business was going well, which made the manager very happy, and everyone was getting a decent number of tips from customers. Being in the food industry was hard work, but if you could do it with mixing in a hobby at the same time, it really helped to ease one’s mind, especially Y/N’s.

Y/N’s shift did indeed fly by. Everyone kept greeting her and welcoming her back on board. Customers who had met her before were happy to hear her perform again. Y/N had missed singing in front of everyone. Her manager, Mr. Winters, was grateful to have her back too. He could be very strict, but also kind-hearted and understanding.

“Could you wipe down that last table before you go?” Mr. Winters asked Y/N.

“Yes sir,” Y/N replied. She had just finished taking care of other customers and went to the table Mr. Winters pointed to. She wiped it down, tidying everything around it. Satisfied with the cleanliness, she clocked herself out, exited the building, and walked back to her car. Working a ten-hour shift was good, but super exhausting. She practically crashed into the driver’s seat and began the drive back to her apartment.

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Bowser was sitting on his throne, twiddling his thumbs. He had an orb next to him, watching it with worried eyes. Why hadn’t Y/N called him yet? Yes, she informed him of matters needing to be dealt with in her world, but she didn’t think it would take this long. Maybe he was being impatient and not giving enough time.

‘I just want to hear her voice again,’ the Koopa King thought to himself, ‘Her sweet, beautiful voice. Her cute expressions…’ He sighed. He really had fallen head over heels for Y/N. Neither one of them having confessed to the other about their feelings, he could tell the feelings were mutual.

He quite honestly wanted to tell her his feelings right now. He couldn’t wait any longer not to say anything. He knew this sort of thing would be beneficial to do in person rather than through the orb though.

“Sire, is there anything I can get for you? You’ve been sitting here all day and haven’t exactly had anything to drink or eat,” Kamek spoke, looking up at Bowser worriedly.

“I’m fine. Just waiting for the orb to show me Y/N.”

“I know you’re anxious to talk with her again, but please don’t neglect taking care of yourself either. Y/N wouldn’t want you to do that.”

Bowser sighed, “Yeah, you’re right. Bring me some of those brownies.”

“Right away Sire,” Kamek replied, and scurried away.

The king sighed once more, ‘Have to be patient.’

Just then, his orb began to glow a bright red and an image was slowly appearing in it.

“Bowser?” a female voice asked.

“Y-Y/N?!” Bowser replied.

“Ah. Thank goodness, this is working. How are you?” Y/N asked.

“I’m fine. Much happier now to be talking with you.”

“Good. I’m pretty wiped out.” She yawned, covering her mouth, “I just got home from working a ten-hour shift. Still have my job, thank goodness, and my family is relieved that I’m okay.”

“A ten-hour shift?”

“Yeah. I have to make up for the time I missed. However, it’ll be good because it means a bigger paycheck. Well, at least with the tips I get, it should help make it bigger.”

“That’s a long time to be working. No wonder you’re so exhausted.”

“Yeah, that’s the way of the food industry though. Sometimes, other types of companies have people work 12-hour shifts or even more than that.”

“Why so much?”

“It…” She yawned again, “It depends on what kind of job you’re working. Being a firefighter for example, you could end up working 48 or 72-hour shifts. They usually have a place for the firefighters to rest, sleep, eat, and do normal routine stuff getting ready for the day.”

“Really? That’s…that’s crazy.”

She giggled, “It is. I could never be a firefighter. That job is intense. I’m good with what I’m doing right now.”

“Um…Y/N…”

“Yes?”

“I uh…I want to…” He moved his gaze away from the orb to stare at a wall in his throne room instead. While he was doing that, Kamek had used a spell to bring the plate of brownies to rest on the arm of the throne. The wizard did not wish to disturb his king in his conversation with Y/N.

“Bowser? Are you alright?”

“Uh, yes. Sorry. I want to tell you something, but…”

She could see the uneasiness in his expression and hear it in his voice, “If you’re not sure on telling me, no pressure. If it’s something very personal, you don’t have to tell me.”

“I do have to tell you. At some point. I want to right now, but I think it would be best to wait…”

“I see…” She had an idea what it could possibly be but decided not to say anything at the moment, “I have to work 30 more hours this week and then I’ll get some time off again. Could I meet you in person after that?”

“Yes, of course. I would like that.”

“Okay. I’ll have my time off at the end of this week.” She once more had to yawn. “Sorry to keep yawning so much.”

“It’s okay. You’re tired.”

“Yep. Sure am.”

The two talked a little longer until Y/N’s (eye color) eyes were starting to get droopy.

“I think we should stop talking now. You need to get some sleep,” Bowser said with some concern.

“Yeah, I guess we should. I’ll see if I can talk to you tomorrow after work again,” Y/N replied.

“Okay. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

The orbs dimmed for both individuals.

Bowser smiled happy he could see Y/N once more. He was sad that she was so tired, but he understood why she was very tired. The brownies that were brought in for him earlier had long been forgotten, but the king decided to stuff his face with them anyway. The chocolate was very appetizing, and he couldn’t get enough of it. He finished eating the brownies and then decided to go to sleep. He couldn’t wait to talk with Y/N again tomorrow.

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The work week had come and gone in the blink of an eye. It was already the end of the week for Y/N, and she couldn’t be happier. She could now meet up with Bowser in person. She decided to tag along with Luigi and Mario who were going to Peach’s kingdom. She figured she could give the princess and Toad a quick hello before meeting up with Bowser.

The plumbers and singer all entered the green tube they knew so well and let it take them to the Mushroom Kingdom. Y/N had brought along the orb she got from Bowser so that she could contact him, letting him know she was back in his world and ready to meet him. The three landed with a thud in the Mushroom Kingdom.

Before them, the princess and mushroom man stood nearby, waving hello to them.

“Y/N!” Toad exclaimed, running up to her and giving her a hug.

“Hey Toad. How are you?” Y/N replied, embracing him back.

“Doing well. Not much is going on here. Just the usual. You?”

“Well, everything has been settled and taken care of in my world. Everything is alright.”

“That’s great!”

“Y/N! I’m happy to see you again,” Peach said walking up to her.

Toad had let go of Y/N so that Peach could give her a welcome back hug too. Y/N embraced the princess.

“It’s good to see you too Peach,” Y/N replied.

Toad, Luigi, and Mario, all greeted each other. Peach had let go of Y/N and walked up to the brothers. She gave Luigi a quick hug and then went to embrace Mario. Mario blushed but smiled from being embraced by the princess. The two leaned in and kissed.

“What?! Hey! You didn’t tell me you two were a thing now Mario!” Y/N exclaimed.

“Oh…I didn’t?” Mario said, acting confused.

“No! When did you two become official?!”

“Uh…earlier this week…” Mario became bashful.

“Aw! Congrats you two!” Y/N was very happy that the princess and plumber in red could hit things off so well. She had a feeling that Mario and Peach liked each other.

“Thank you, Y/N,” Peach said, giving a warm smile.

“You’re welcome,” Y/N said returning a warm smile, “I uh…I can’t stay for very long because I’m going to meet up with Bowser.”

“Oh! Are you going to confess to him?” Luigi asked excitedly.

“Y-Yes,” Y/N answered, a bit nervously, “It’s just been a while since I’ve had a relationship. I hope that he feels the way I do. I want to think that he does.”

“I’m sure he does. Everything will work out,” the plumber in green said, putting a comforting hand on Y/N’s shoulder.

“Thanks Luigi.”

“Of course.”

“Well, best of luck to you,” Toad chimed in.

“Thank you,” Y/N replied.

Mario and Peach nodded in acknowledgement to her.

“I can stay for a little bit longer. It’s been a while since I really got to talk with Peach and Toad.”

“Sure, if you want to,” Peach said.

The group of five began walking through the Mushroom Kingdom, chit-chatting about various stories and topics of interest. The time had gone by so quickly that they were already reaching the princess’s castle.

“I should go now. I don’t want to keep Bowser waiting for me too much longer,” Y/N said as she took out the orb to contact him with.

“Alright. Take care,” Peach said.

Everyone else gave their goodbyes and Y/N waved back at them with a smile. She stared into the orb, mentally seeking out Bowser. The orb glowed bright red and an image of the Koopa King appeared.

“Bowser! Hi!” Y/N said smiling.

“Y/N! Are you ready to meet up now?” the king asked excitedly.

“Yes. I’m in the Mushroom Kingdom. I was saying hello to Peach and Toad with Mario and Luigi.”

“Ah. I see. I’ll have Kamek transport you over here. Kamek!”

The wizard came into the room Bowser was in, which was the throne room, on his broom, “Sire?”

“Transport Y/N here from the Mushroom Kingdom.”

“Of course.” Kamek used his wand to cast a spell.

Y/N was suddenly lifted into the air in a blue light. She saw the scenery change from mushrooms to the lava filled castle of Bowser’s. She looked around her and then her gaze landed on the Koopa King. They were all in the throne room and Bowser got up from his chair and went to hug Y/N. She put her orb away as Bowser got closer to her.

“I missed you!” Bowser said as he practically picked up Y/N in his embrace.

“I m-missed you too,” Y/N said, barely able to get out a response. She wrapped her arms around him, and Bowser gently put Y/N back on the floor, loosening his grip.

“I have something I want to show you,” the king said stepping away from Y/N to offer his clawed hand to her.

Y/N smiled and placed her hand in his, her face turning a light shade of red.

The two walked out of the throne room and into an area that Y/N wouldn’t expect to see in Bowser’s castle. He had taken her out to a garden. The garden was filled with all kinds of vibrant colors. It had more flowers in it than what Peach had in her kingdom. Y/N couldn’t stop gazing at everything around her. In the middle of the garden was a water fountain.

The water fountain was decorated in flowers and had three tiers of water that dribbled downward. The top tier had water shot upward. Y/N smiled at the water fountain and the flowers that decorated it.

“This is so beautiful,” Y/N said. “Have you…have you always had this garden?”

“Thank you. I always had this garden, but nothing was really in it. I had Kamek and a few other Koopas help me in gathering some flowers and building the fountain.”

“It’s all so nice. The flowers are so pretty!”

Bowser smiled down at Y/N, happy to see her loving the scenery around her. He turned from her for a moment to pluck a (favorite color) flower and hand it to her, “For you.”

Y/N smiled and took the flower from Bowser’s hands, “Thank you.” She decided to place the flower in her hair, letting it rest just above her right ear.

“It suits you.”

She giggled, “Thank you. So…you said you wanted to tell me something in person. Did you want to talk about that now?”

“Yes, I do. Why don’t we sit down by the fountain. There’s a bench not too far from it.”

“Sure.”

The two walked over to a silver bench that had flower decorations on it too. They sat down and Bowser gently grabbed Y/N’s hands. Red eyes met (eye color) eyes.

“Y/N. I am grateful to have met you. I know I said this already, but I am sorry for how I treated you before. Thank you for giving me a chance. I…” He took in a deep breath and let it out, “I want you to know…you have become so important in my life. I have enjoyed our conversations and learning more about you and your world.”

Y/N could feel her heartbeat speed up. Her heart was hammering heavily in her chest listening to what Bowser was telling her. She could feel her face flush and her eyes widening.

“Y/N…I…I really like you…I like you as more than a friend.” His grip on her hands had tightened.

She blushed profusely from his confession. It was so sweet and tender. She couldn’t help her eyes from watering. The tears streamed down before she could do anything to stop them.

“Y-Y/N? Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry…” Bowser became worried that he had overstepped his bounds and let go of Y/N’s hands.

She shook her head, “No. Not at all.” She went to grab his hands again, a few more tears came down. He gripped onto her hands once more. “I’m very happy because I…I feel the same about you.” She smiled through her tears which were of joy and relief.

Bowser smiled, happy to see that her tears weren’t of disappointment. He gently wiped her face of the tears with the back of his hand.

“I’m sorry to be crying. I just. I’m really happy that someone feels this way about me. Genuinely feels this way about me. I’m happy that it’s you.” Y/N thought her heart was going to burst with how hard it was pounding.

“You don’t need to apologize. It’s alright. I’m happy to be with you. You showed me what unconditional love looks like. I’m happy to learn that from you.” He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand.

She closed her eyes, enjoying the moment.

“May I…kiss you?” he asked, a bit nervous.

Y/N’s eyes widened, “Uh…y-yes. I um…”

“What’s wrong?”

“I…I may not be good at it…” She didn’t have a lot of experience in this area.

“We can take it slow or just settle for kisses on the cheek. I’m good either way.”

Y/N felt embarrassed, “I guess we can take it…slow…”

“Hey. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. If you’d rather not do that now, that’s okay.”

“N-No I…I mean…I want to…”

“Okay.”

Bowser gently grabbed her chin, tilting it up and staring into her eyes. She stared back at him, her heart once again speeding up at the intimate moment. He slowly lowered his head to meet hers, eyelids closing. She closed her eyes and then felt his lips on hers. This kiss was sweet and something she wasn’t used to. He still kept a light grip on her chin and his other hand held hers. She reached her free hand up to cup his cheek. The kiss ended as quickly as it began, the two catching their breath.

“Well…that wasn’t bad at all,” Bowser said. “I quite liked it.”

Y/N blushed, “Um, y-yes, it was nice…”

“Now that we have confessed, care to take a walk around the garden some more? There’s more to it I would like to show you.”

“Of course.”

Both got up from the bench and began walking. Bowser extended his arm to Y/N, and she wrapped both arms around his. She continued taking in the scenery around her as Bowser explained where each flower came from. The two walked and chatted until it was sunset, or what would be considered sunset time. The sky didn’t change all that much in appearance for the day. They went back inside and sat down at the dinner table. Conversation of different topics emerged and the two couldn’t be happier to be in each other’s company once more. They hoped to stay this way for the rest of their lives.

The End