#gad they are all here
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Random assortment of old oc doodles
#my art#old doodles#my ocs#gad they are all here#orange oc#yellow oc#red oc#purple oc#blue oc#green oc#rainbow oc#and some other not main ocs#these are all years old i just like em#these guys live in my head rent free#and i wouldnt have it any other way
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
I simply think that if a white women comes into the store I work at and makes a weird comment about our calaveras I should get hit her in the head
#was showing this woman these decorative tiles we have#and we're like almost out so we only gad two styles left#but first of all she's like 'no I was here in november u had so many more where are they' girl it is january. things change#and then one of the styles we had left was a calavera and she goes 'ugh ew. definitely not'#ma'am if it were not for the fact that I need this job I would have kicked u in the head. respectfully#text post
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am just gonna come out and say it, Olaf's Frozen Adventure is actually really good and I need to watch this every year
#like it's kind of funny#best line: you're a princess you don't need to settle#olaf's frozen adventure#Christmas is here#I might be a little stoned#josh gad is great though#could watch him voice olaf all day#perfect casting honestly#josh gad is a great actor anyway#makes me wanna watch book of Mormon#high thoughts
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
My eyes really stinh
#gamer txt.#i rhink i got rhinos cheek wet#i hate it when that happe ns#here. last post cut me off at 30 tags i dunno if i gad anything more really to add bjt i do have rhis#if i start acring like im lrmal like nothings happened i want you all to call me out for it#not judt tomorrow like the full week if i start acring all happy go lucky please feel free to backhand me
1 note
·
View note
Text
i keep trying to find a reason for my weird mood i’m in and i just remembered that i don’t need a reason
#marzi speaks#trying to get better at not trying to justify every single mental health thing that happens to me#probably leftover reflex from having to talk to so many people to get my diagnosis#but like it’s ANNOYING when there isn’t a reason bc then i’m not in control >:(#and people don’t take you seriously about it and you don’t know how to begin fixing it#and THEN you realize that you don’t always need to fix every single issue as soon as it pops up#and that sometimes that actually makes things WORSE#i’m literally sitting here like ‘why am i anxious what is the cause’ motherfucker your amygdala just does that sometimes#you have GAD (goddamn anxious disorder) like that is all the justification needed#ughhhhhhh. i’m still trying to find a reason too i’m like ‘am i dehydrated do i need to go to bed’. i NEED to leave it alone#and just let myself be like this for a bit. goodness gracious
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay saur when i get home im gonna try and fill out the insurance form since well im stuck here. once thats through and ive got insurance set up im gonna try and do a proper psych eval bc i reakized ive bever actually had one. and i think itd be very very useful
#ive been on and off in therapy since i was like. before age 7? very on and off though#and i like. i have gad and mdd dxed. i know these#but i think itd be rly helpful for me t have like. a straight up actual real life psych eval so i know what i need to be working on#bc like. mostnof the therapy ive been in is i just go in and dalk abt whatever i want to ralk abt#which isnt helpful 4 me bc i need t be like. guided. bc otherwise i dont rly get into the root of issues#most therapy ive had is just i go in i talk abt the surface level details of something imbuspet abt and the therapist says Okay heres this#worksheet do it when you get home. goodbye ! and then i dont do the worksheet#and ik a lot of that is me not being willing 2 put in the work 4 therapy as well but like. it felt like all my former therapists never#avtually dug into the actual issues. or confronted me with anything#ykwim. idk if that makes sense#idk how ill like. Get to my psych eval thats a problem for future connor. i suppose ill soon be able t save up enough money t get a ride#since ive got Veeeery strict spending rules now. im only allowed t spend likee 240 dollars a konth on fun things and everything else either#goes to rent or debt or savings. this is the rule
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love treatment resistant mental disorders
#there is quite literally a cocktail of problems in here#adhd bpd asd gad mdd#literally. all of those#shouts
1 note
·
View note
Text
RED FLAGS ║ PART 12
CO-WRITTEN WITH @THIRSTWORLDPROBLEMSS
Pairing: Steven Grant x female reader x Marc Spector (x hints of Jake Lockley)
Summary: You get more than you bargained for when you follow Marc out into the night. Or alternatively: 🎵 Fighting evil by moonlight. Winning love by daylight 🎵
Content: Cthulu horror, violence, blood and gore, angst, yikes overall.
Word Count: 6.2k words
Series Masterlist | Astroboot’s Masterlist | Thirstworldproblemss’ Masterlist
[PREVIOUS] - [NEXT]
You’re not thinking straight.
Somehow you’re already at the end of the hallway, pushing the button for the lift and having a staring contest with the red floor indicator, and you don’t even know if you managed to lock up behind you.
The lift is stuck at the ground floor, apparently unwilling to do the one bloody thing a lift is supposed to do and lift itself. You can’t be bothered to wait. Before you even properly register making a decision, you’re already down the five flights of stairs, out the building's front door and onto the street, cheeks stinging from the bone-chilling cold.
Usually, the residual heat from the bustle of city life coupled with fumes from the busy traffic will keep London warm enough even in the dead of night. But now, as you make your way down the cramped street, it’s so cold that your breath is frosting in front of you.
It’s eerily quiet for Central London. The only sound is the one made by your feet carelessly splashing through the puddles of rainwater filling the potholes in the cracked pavement, and it seems to echo off the tall concrete walls on either side of you.
You don’t know what you’re doing.
It would be better, safer, smarter for you to go back upstairs where you could stay comfortably warm under the covers while you wait for Steven to return to you in the morning.
You know all of this, but you don’t turn around. Don’t even hesitate. One foot after the other, you stride determinedly down the narrowing passageway that’s lined with pungent beer bottles and deep fried chicken bones, until you reach a fork in the street.
This is all so stupid.
You don’t know which direction Marc went—right or left—don’t know what his intended destination is or if he even came this way at all. But you do know one thing.
Marc Spector loves you.
His quiet voice still echoes between your ears. ‘I love you too’, he’d said, and it was real.
You chance left into an even smaller alleyway. You don’t know why, other than that the dark tapered alley seems like a more likely place for Marc to have slunk off to in the middle of the night.
There are no street lights here, and the walls on both sides seem to narrow in on you, until you feel like they're practically scraping against your shoulders. Somehow, even though you’ve been more or less living in this area as of late, you’ve not ever come across this path before.
A foetid smell lingers in the air, like someone’s left rotten eggs out in the sun. London’s never exactly smelled good, but the sudden overwhelming odour stings your nostrils, invading your throat in a way that threatens to have you doubled over, dry-gagging.
The rain is coming in heavier now, but it does nothing to help with the smell. Just permeates every single layer of your clothing, until you’re soaked all the way down to your socks.
You’re bloody freezing.
Something doesn’t feel quite right, but you chalk it up to the fact that you've chosen to take a stroll down a dark alley in East London in the middle of the night by yourself. Not your brightest decision ever, but here you are.
A tingling at the back of your neck makes you throw a quick glance over your shoulder, checking to see if someone’s watching you, but there’s nothing there. All you see is the same depressing-looking alley that you just came down. Red-rusted brick walls above a concrete street covered in manky puddles and rubbish, just like every other dirty little alleyway in East London.
Somehow, this does nothing to reassure you.
The skin between your shoulders itches, prickling with uncomfortable heat despite the cold, and it feels like a warning sign.
Despite the fact that you’re wearing sturdy boots and covered from toes to chin, you still feel uncomfortably exposed. Like any minute now something might start nipping at your heels from behind. It’s the same illogical fear you feel when you’re alone in bed at night with your feet sticking out from under the covers. You’ve left yourself defenceless and vulnerable to the monsters under the bed. It’s only a matter of time before something from the darkness will reach out and grab you by the ankles, dragging you under.
You continue forwards, hurrying your pace with every step. It’s irrational, but you can’t shake off the feeling that if you don’t, something will catch up to you.
Some sort of.... clicking starts up behind you, and you slow to a stop. Some lost survival instinct is screaming at you, telling you to freeze. To hide so it won't see you.
The unsettling noise continues, rattling oddly in your ears and growing ever more distorted as it echoes off the walls around you. You’ve never heard anything like it, and you wish you weren’t hearing it now. It’s… strange. Not quite right.
Other.
The noise stops, leaving just the sound of your breath rasping in and out of your too-tight chest. You force yourself to move; fighting the warning siren of your heart hammering painfully hard in your chest, you turn slowly to look over your shoulder at the alley behind you.
There’s nothing there. You're alone.
Slowly, slowly you turn the rest of the way, but there's still nothing. Aside from the usual smattering of rubbish, the only thing in the alleyway is the image of the moonlit sky mirrored on the rain-covered, empty pavement.
You let out a breath you didn't realise you were holding, and force yourself to keep breathing, fighting the stubborn tightness of your chest to take in deep, calming breaths that turn visible as you exhale against the crisp air.
So you heard an odd sound. And what of it? Probably just someone’s ancient radiator clicking up a storm. That’s all. Everything else is just your overactive imagination. Might even have been a bird. Someone’s escaped parakeet doing a strange mating call perhaps. What do you know? London wildlife has always been unpredictable and strange, after all.
You’ve nearly managed to convince yourself, about to turn on your heel and continue on your way when you spot it. The gentle ripple pattern spreading out across the thin sheet of water covering the grey concrete. Not unusual in the least, given that it’s raining. Except it’s a large ripple. Too large to be from the rain.
Despite the freezing temperature, your spine prickles with cold sweat underneath your thick coat.
The noise starts up again. It warbles and clicks-clicks-clicks. You can’t pin where it’s coming from. It’s disorientating. It comes from the ground, rattles off the walls and lingers in the air above. It’s everywhere.
Water splashes on the ground some feet away from you, a small spray going up in your peripheral vision, like something stepped on it. Something heavy. Something large.
But there’s nothing there. And that maddening clicking noise won’t stop.
You can’t see anything in the empty space over the water puddle in front of you. Nothing, not even the smattering droplets of the pouring rain. The water is eerily still which… can’t be right.
You narrow your eyes at the puddle, dragging your gaze upwards, and…
There’s a hole in the rain.
A void of some sort, defined only by the absence of the falling water. Following the empty space upwards, you can see a clearly defined boundary where the droplet starts again. Like the rain is bouncing off a transparent surface.
There’s something there. Something solid. Something big.
A huge eerie shape. As you squint at it, you begin to recognize that the water is outlining crouching limbs and a torso. Your brain keeps trying to pin down what it looks like, but it’s not the shape of any animal you know of. There’s something not right about its form. It's disproportionate; all overly sharp edges and grotesque bulging curves that make your skin crawl. The angles are wrong somehow in a way that makes your brain itch to look at them.
It’s...
It’s…
Not of this world.
You hold your breath, standing motionless, feet rooted to the wet pavement as rain pelts your face so hard it stings.
Click. C-Click. CCCCClick.
The noise rattles closer. Louder now. It feels like it’s burrowing under your skin. Into your brain. But the warning sirens blaring inside your head are louder still. Deafening. Every instinct and nerve ending in you is screaming one thing.
RUN.
You turn and run, one leg leaping in front of the other. You run without looking behind you. Running even as you almost stumble, feet skidding against the slippery-wet concrete. Your lungs burn, but you don’t stop. Don’t dare look back. Eyes fixed on the dim, rain-fogged light at the end of the alley in front of you. You run.
There’s a loud crash behind you. A percussive thunderclap of sound that hurts your ears. The crunch and clatter of concrete being torn apart.
But you don’t stop. Don’t look behind you to investigate. You run.
You run, ignoring the bile pushing its way up your throat. Run, ignoring the shrieks of sound erupting behind you. Running from the sound of a wounded creature, like no animal that you have ever heard in your life. A hellish scream that doesn’t sound of this world, tearing through the thin space. A pain that is born out of pierced flesh and broken bones. You run.
Stupid. You’re so fucking stupid.
Why are you here? Why didn’t you just stay in the safety of your home, tucked up in bed under the covers? The stinging wetness in your eyes blurs your vision as you tear down the alleyway. Does it open out into another street or dead end? You can’t tell yet, but there’s nothing else to do. You run.
You collide with something solid and firm.The impact knocks the wind out of your lungs, and a strong pressure surrounds you from every angle, grabbing hold of your shoulders and constricting around your ribs. You can’t run.
You can’t breathe. There’s something clamped over your mouth and nose. Coarse gauze pressed into your nostrils, suffocating you.
You make a desperate attempt to free yourself, arms trying to push out against the tight hold, hands clawing at whatever you can reach, but your pathetic attempts are no use. The grip only tightens at your resistance. It’s too strong. You can’t get free.
This is it. There’s nowhere left to go. You’re trapped. It’s over.
Still, you can’t stop fighting, thrashing in every direction, trying to squirm yourself loose.
“Stop! Stop!”
You recognize that grumpy, impatient voice. You’d know it anywhere, even muted as it is by the blood thundering in your ears. You register that the solid weight holding you captive is a person.
Marc.
You go limp. Shoulders slumping into his hold. Legs no longer kicking as your feet settle onto the ground below.
“I’m gonna let go of you now. I need you to not fight me. Or scream.”
You nod into his hand, and the pressure finally gives, as does his grip. Then you’re free.
Turning around, the sight that greets you nearly has you screaming and running after all because it’s not Marc at all. It’s…
A mummy.
Layers upon layers of white gauze are wrapped like bandages over every inch of the body before you. Wound around limbs and woven over a broad torso, continuing up to shroud the face.
And the eyes…
Where the eyes should be, the eye sockets are hollowed out. The gorgeous brown you expected is absent, replaced by a white glow that blinds you when you try to look directly at it.
You wobble on your feet, a sick nausea filling your throat.
It spoke like Marc. Used his voice.
Oh god! Is this some monstrous creature that mimics human voices to lure in its prey?
Did it eat Marc!?
Is it going to eat you!?
The glowing eyes narrow into impatient triangular shapes, the shoulders pulling up and back while the feet shift in an almost nervous gesture. An odd sense of recognition fills you.
“M-Marc?”
The eyes narrow further into a scolding glare. Even without a mouth, you can tell he’s scowling at you. The thing growls, but it’s a human sound. And a familiar one.
Marc, definitely Marc.
Only he could manage to scowl behind a hoodie, three layers of mummy bandages and a glowing Halloween mask.
As you watch, the hood and mask recede, evaporating into thin air. White bandages give way to golden-tanned skin, and you’re greeted by the face you know so well. Hard eyes staring down at you above steel-cut cheekbones and a jaw set with displeasure.
“Marc!” Thank god! Relief floods your chest, but it’s short-lived. That thing could still be out there. “We need to go!”
“Why are you here? You can’t be here,” Marc grates out, resisting your attempts to pull him into motion. He’s clearly furious, but right now the two of you have got more important things to worry about.
“We need to go,” you repeat, pleading with him, hands grappling for his, trying to tug him in the direction you were running before, but he resists you effortlessly, like he’s anchored to the spot. You might as well be trying to tug a stone statue.
“Marc, please! There’s something out there! Like a– a–” you fumble, unsure of what to name it, because you don’t know what the hell that thing was.
An invisible monster? A demon? A boogeyman?
“I don’t know what it was! Some kind of… creature. Something big,” Your voice breaks. Your fingers tremble where they’re curled over his arm, and you grip harder. Digging them further into the bandages, trying to get them to stop. “You have to believe me Marc!”
He’s not going to believe you, is he? He’s going to think you’ve lost the plot and need to be sectioned. God, maybe you do.
But the vexation in his face fades as he watches you, his expression shifting into something softer, filled with worry. His hands reach for you, the bandages soft against your cheeks.
“Hey. Hey, it’s okay.” He tips your chin up, eyes searching your face, and if he thinks you are mad or hysterical, there isn’t a trace of it in his gaze. There’s no disbelief. “I know.”
His calm acceptance stuns you.
“What do you mean you ‘know’?”
“I know because I…,”—he hesitates, mouth set in a grim line—”I took care of it.” “You took care of… what? Marc, what–? What do you mean by that?”
Marc falters at that, and runs one gloved hand over his hair. His eyes dart around like he’ll find the answer hidden somewhere behind the overflowing rubbish or carved into the worn brick of the alley wall.
“I…,” He hesitates again, glancing at you and then away, like he can’t make himself hold your gaze. “This is what I do,” he finally spits out. “I tried to keep this shit away from you. It’s not something you were ever supposed to see. I need you safe.”
The unhappy set of his mouth makes your aggravation falter, but you need to understand.
“What do you mean? Tried to keep what shit away from me?”
“I–” He breaks off, eyes darting up and across the wall of the building across from you, high above your head. “Shit. We need to go.”
Oh sure! Now he wants to leave. (Though it’s not like you’re going to argue.)
Marc grabs your arm again, and you do your best to keep up as he hauls you along down the alley.
You try to watch the alley walls and street as you run, searching for any sign of the grotesque invisible creature from before, but you can’t make out anything in the pouring rain this time. You try to listen instead, but you can’t hear anything over the sound of your heartbeat pounding in your ears.
Marc stops suddenly, and you stumble to a halt as well, crashing into his back and nearly falling.
“Mar—“
“Quiet,” he cuts you off with the low demand, and the quiet urgency of his voice has you freezing instantly. He stares at the mouth of the alleyway, then up where the moon is just barely visible in the gap between the buildings, eyes wide and alert, face rigid with something like fear. It makes your own fear balloon, your pulse screeching in your ears.
Suddenly there’s a scraping sound, and small bits of brick fall from above, skittering down from the wall on your left. You peer at the shadowy face of the building, but there’s nothing to be seen.
Another grinding sound, closer this time. Something large and heavy rubbing against brick. Another shower of gravel and debris, but you still can’t see where the bloody thing is.
Dread curls in the lining of your stomach.
Then it starts again, that otherworldly clicking that seems to burrow right into your skull. You cover your ears reflexively. Would claw them right off if only it would make the noise stop.
Marc reaches for you then. Moving slowly and deliberately, he wraps an arm around you, scooping you close against his chest and taking you with him as he backs away.
You huddle against him, staring up at his determined profile. His eyes are trained on a spot on the building across from you, clearly seeing what you can’t.
Without looking away, he leans in closer to you and whispers, “Get ready to run.”
He’s barely finished speaking when the wall crumbles above you, and Marc’s arms untangle from you, leaving your side.
You think you catch the sight of something moving in the rain, a slight distortion visible as the shape crosses in front of the moon, then you’re shoved to the side, voice echoing in your ears.
“Run!”
You weren’t ready.
Shoes skidding backwards in the slippery rain, you lose your footing, and go down. You land hard on your bum, and can’t seem to get up again.
Everything is happening too fast.
Your chest hurts. Breath stuttering in your lungs, too quick and shallow to let you take in any oxygen. Your heartbeat is pounding so rapidly against your ribs that you’re sure it’s going to rip a hole straight through your chest to the open air.
It’s too bright.
The light from the moon above seems to flood the alleyway, and your eyes throb.
Too loud.
A solid thud reverberates through the air mere feet away from you. It’s the sound of knuckles meeting flesh. A blood curdling shriek rips through the space.
Too much.
Marc's forearm is held up, parallel to the wall, like he’s pinning something that isn’t there. Something large and thrashing. Your eyes are fixed on the bizarre scene before you. You don’t understand what you’re seeing. Don’t understand how the man who folds your clothes in neat squares and makes you lukewarm tea is the same man as the one who stands before you now. Poised and calm in the violence. Holding his own against an otherworldly monster, and winning.
None of this feels real.
His fist slams forward, landing some distance away from the brick. Punching into the invisible air. But there’s a horrifying squelching sound with each landing punch that lets you know something is there that you’re not seeing.
You watch, so focused on Marc and the damage he’s meting out that you almost don’t notice when a damp gust of air grazes against the fine hairs on the back of your neck and sends the soft skin underneath prickling. You fail to take it as the warning sign it is.
Fuck. There’s another one!
You don’t have time to react. No time for anything. Just the sound of glass crunching against asphalt, and something slamming into your back, so forcefully that the impact threatens to crush your ribs.
You land face first this time, cheek kissing the concrete with a painful sting. There’s a heavy weight on your back, and mud in your mouth. Or maybe blood. Everything tastes like pennies.
Marc shouts your name. His voice is raw, panicked. So full of fear it's almost unrecognisable.
You want to go to him.
Anchoring your elbows on the gravelly ground, you try to push up against the heavy weight pinning you to the ground. It hurts. Everything hurts. Your shins are stinging. Cheek too and your forearm where your sleeve must have ripped. Your ribs are one big throbbing blotch of burning pain. But you manage to lift your head up in time to see Marc leaping towards you.
He seems to be suspended in time, one hand pulled back, the other outstretched in mid-air as he reaches for you. Droplets of rain sparkle where they’re caught in his hair, and others seem to trickle leisurely down his forehead above his brown eyes that are wide in blind panic.
You feel it before you see it.
His fingers curl around your wrist, the solid weight of his hand clamping tight around your forearm. Time speeds up again at the touch. You hadn’t realised sound had gone missing too until it returns with a deafening fury.
The suspended rain smatters down all around you. Marc’s other hand impacts the creature pinning you down with a sickening squelch, and a grotesque shriek tears through the space behind you, tapering off into a rheumy deathrattle.
Marc’s face fills your vision, the terror in his expression just starting to shift into relief when some small distortion, barely seen out of the corner of your eye, breaks into your line of sight, and he’s ripped away from you again by some invisible force.
You don’t understand what you’re seeing. There’s some disconnect between what’s happening in front of you and your brain’s ability to process it.
You know that can’t possibly be Marc hurtling through the air, white cape billowing behind him like a white flag of surrender. Surely there’s no need to worry because of course you aren’t seeing his body impact the side of the building with a horrifyingly meaty thud that reverberates in your bones, and then tumble to the ground in a shower of broken masonry
You stare at the pile of white fabric and brick pieces there on the ground for a moment, and your heart pounds so forcefully that you feel lightheaded.
It’s a horrible nightmare made reality, and your brain wants to fight it. To pretend it’s not happening. Tell you that it’s not Marc’s lifeless body lying facedown on the ground in front of you.
But… it is.
You can feel the bitter acrid taste of the truth carving itself into your throat.
You scramble up, ignoring your bloody knees and the searing pain in your side, not stopping until you’re hunched over Marc’s body. He’s terrifyingly still. You grip his shoulder, tugging hard until you’ve managed to turn him onto his back, all the while begging to any deity or higher power who might be listening to please let him be all right; let him be awake; let him still be alive.
Please.
He has to be.
Cupping his cheeks in your palms, you have to swallow the raw sob in your throat at how cold his skin feels against yours.
A pulse. You need to check for a pulse.
You shove two fingers against the column of his throat up under his jaw, trying to find the right place, but the stupid bandages are too bloody thick. You can’t feel anything through them. You tug at them, trying to rip them free or wedge your fingertips underneath to get at bare skin, but they’re hard as steel. You don’t stop though, clawing at them now because you’ve got to–
A heavy, thudding footfall lands on the ground a short distance away, and you jerk your head up.
The creature is there in the alley, right in front of you…
All you can see is the malformed outline, silhouetted by the cascading rain refracting in the moonlight. It turns slowly towards you, feet grinding against the pavement.
Absolute terror swamps you. Every cell in your body is screaming. You need to escape!
RUN!
You scramble to get ahold of Marc, barely managing to wedge yourself underneath him until you can wrap both your arms around his chest from behind and heave, straining to drag his uncooperative body away from danger. You don’t get very far.
Marc is heavier than he looks, and your feet scrape and skid against the wet concrete as you desperately try to drag both of you backwards. You barely manage to budge him at all, gaining at most a few inches before the creature begins clicking again.
You can see the outline more clearly now. If you squint you can just make out mangled tentacles protruding from where its head must be and writhing grotesquely in a way that your eyes refuse to focus on. Your breath seizes in your chest and you have to look away, your body wracked with shivers.
You watch it come out of the corner of your eye, thick limbs advancing on you one torturously slow step at a time. You don’t understand why you’re still alive. The creature certainly seemed capable of ferocious speeds when it had attacked Marc before. You get the feeling it’s mocking you. A giant supernatural cat playing with its prey before it eats, and you’re the hapless dinner.
The thought sickens you.
You tighten your grip on Marc, wrapping your arms around him with renewed determination. Clutching him as close as you can in a futile attempt to protect him from this thing. Unwilling to let it have him.
There’s more loud clicking, closer still, scraping against your brain like nails on a chalkboard and making your spine curl.
You’re out of time. Out of options. Your brain furiously scans through a lifetime of collected memories and information for any shred of useful knowledge. Anything to help get you out of this, but there’s… nothing. No secret escape route. No Hail Mary play.
It’s hopeless.
You wish it hadn’t come to this. That you could somehow save Marc and Steven and yourself. That you had more time.
You wish you had taken the time to eat the breakfast Steven’s made for you with him yesterday morning. That you could have had the chance to taste Marc’s pancakes again. That you had kissed Steven more often (should have done it every opportunity you had), gotten to see that sunshine smile of his light up the room one last time. That you could’ve told Marc you love him in person.
But that’s the thing isn’t it?
You don’t have all the time in the world. You never did. Everything has an end.
You hug Marc closer to your chest. You’re just glad you got to face your end here with him, together.
Searing pain rips into your ankle as cold claws sink into your flesh. The breath you’ve been holding all this time is knocked out of you. Any small shred of peaceful resignation you’d been able to muster in the face of certain death is ripped away, and you react without thinking.
Your foot flies out in a swift kick. The heel of your boot connects with something soft and pulpy that yields with a sickening squelch.
There’s an angry clicking shriek. It rattles your eardrums painfully and vibrates through your chest, like standing too close to a speaker at a club. The monster takes a step back, but the taloned grip around your heel doesn’t ease, dragging you with it.
You kick again. Firm sponginess that makes you think of decomposing flesh. Unnaturally soft for something still moving. You think you might vomit.
The thing screeches but doesn’t loosen its grip. Asphalt and shards of glass dig into your back as it drags you along. You try to cling to Marc, but you can’t. You might as well be a flea for all the hope you have of challenging its strength.
You twist around onto your front. All you see is mute greyness of the alley. The increasing distance between you and Marc as the thing drags you along. You try to claw at the ground but there’s nothing to hold onto. Your watch, somehow miraculously still on your wrist after everything, pops free now, and you watch it disappearing from your sight, growing smaller and smaller as you’re dragged away, and somehow that’s the final staw. You squeeze your eyes shut on a ragged sob, draw in half. breath to scream, and…
Everything stops.
It’s dark behind your closed eyelids. Your throat is raw, burning. Are you still screaming? You must be, but you can’t hear anything anymore. There’s no more clicking. The rain seems to have stopped. You can’t feel it falling onto your skin or the asphalt scraping against your torn clothes.
Are you… dead?
If you are, why do your knees hurt so much?
You crack your eyes open to find yourself staring up at the pitch-black sky lit by a perfectly circular moon.
Something white flutters in the periphery of your vision. A white… flag? No, it’s a long flowing white cape that hovers over your body.
Marc!
Or… is it?
Something’s different.
Tracing the cape upwards, it takes your frazzled brain a second to register what’s changed. This mummy is missing bodyparts! Or… no. His costume is just a different colour. Solid black ink runs up his legs instead of the white bandages that were there before, masking his outline against the black sky above..
Is this someone else?
You crane your neck towards where you last saw Marc’s body lying on the pavement, but he’s not there any longer.
This must him, then.
…Isn’t it?
He’s standing hunched over empty air, a vicious brutality emanating from his entire body that wasn’t there before as he delivers repeated bone-shattering punches to…. nothing. His fists sink into the space that you know isn’t really empty. You can hear the impacts now, even if you still can’t see the creature. The dull wet thud of knuckles connecting with flesh over and over and over again, with almost mechanical precision.
With each blow the same hellish scream you heard earlier rings in the air, but it’s growing weaker, soggier each time until finally it fades all together. And the stomach twisting crunch of bones breaking grows ever louder as his fists sink deeper and deeper into the invisible mass.
Then, finally, silence falls.
Squinting your eyes open—when did you close them?—the first thing you see is his silhouette standing some feet away from you. Right where you last saw him, but he’s standing upright now, towering over you and what’s left of the creature, a now semi translucent mass that glints wetly.
There’s an unsettling calmness to him as he takes a step back, head tilted to the side as his eyes narrow, observing the thing with disdain. One leg lifts, rising above the ground, poised like an executioner’s axe… and then falls.
The creature isn't making any sounds anymore, not even a whimper when that foot comes down, delivering an earth-shattering stomp that shakes the ground beneath you.
There is only a stomach-churning, pulp-crunching sound, of something moist-yet-solid being torn through. You clamp your eyes shut, stomach roiling, trying not to think about what is there that you can’t see. Instead you imagine he’s stepping on a bag of rotten fruit. Repeatedly.
You don’t dare to open your eyes again until everything goes quiet.
But the horror of the moment isn’t quite over yet. He stands still in the same spot, unmoving. His shoulders squared but loose as he stares at the place the creature had been with a disdainful sneer on his features, eyes flat and blank. He eyes it like he’s inspecting a squashed cockroach stuck to the bottom of his shoe.
The hairs on the back of your neck are still standing on end. Your body is screaming out to you that the danger hasn’t passed. Something even more dangerous is standing before you. The scene plays out like some twisted nature documentary where a rabid bear was just ripped apart by a monstrous wolf.
Marc tips his head to stare up at the night sky. Something changes. The whole of his body seizes, shoulders pulled taut, head thrown back like he’s being yanked up by invisible puppet strings.
The linen covering his body slithers down his limbs like receding snakes. Every inch of the primordial gauze disintegrates into dust and smoke, giving way to the much more familiar tight jeans, form-fitting t-shirt, and loose jacket.
As if finally satiated, whatever force had its hooks in him relinquishes control, and he slumps forward, feet still firmly grounded to the asphalt, and opens his eyes.
And then Marc is back. You think…
Marc seems disoriented at first, breathing erratically. His body language is a stark contrast to the one he held mere moments ago, as though the calm callousness has disintegrated with the mummified gauze. Now he’s hunched over, tense, and appears confused, eyes darting around the alleyway until they land on you, still flat on your ass on the concrete ground.
His eyes stay on you as he covers the distance between you in three great strides, his footfalls skidding along the rain-slick concrete before he falls to his knees beside you. You turn your head, trying to look behind you to observe all the damage, but Marc cups your face in his hand before you can see anything.
“Hey. Hey, you look at me,” he says, voice rough but hands gentle as he smooths your hair back from your face. His eyes search your face frantically for a long moment. It must eventually penetrate that you’re all right because the panic in his eyes finally melts into relief, and seems to spread to the rest of him. The harsh line between his brows relaxes slightly, and he lets out a long breath, the tight line of his shoulders softening.
Then he’s cupping the back of your head in one hand, and hauling you into his chest, and holding you there, pressed tight against him. It makes it hard to breathe, your face mashed up against his firm chest, nose and mouth partially buried in his shirt and jacket, but you only want to press closer, have him hold you tighter, for as long as he possibly can, even if it chokes the breath out of you.
“It’s okay,” he says after a long moment, “You’re okay. You’re alright. I’ve got you.”
You’re not sure if he’s trying to reassure you or himself.
His voice is gentle and comforting as he rests a firm hand on the small of your back and keeps it there. His eyes are soft now, no longer cold and blank, even if they do look sad.
“You’re safe,” he tells you.
It’s not until he says it that it finally sinks in. The rigid muscles in you melt. Your heightened survival instincts dim, your body finally willing to accept that the danger has passed.
His grip around you loosens, and the palm of his hand roams over the top of your shoulder, fingers resting on the pulse of your neck, before ghosting under the place that stings and smarts on your cheek. There’s a tremor to his touch, but he’s still meticulous as his hands run gently down your arms, across your back, stomach, and ribs, inspecting you for injuries, and cataloguing the location and gravity of each.
A long time passes before Marc is satisfied and finished with his examination. Then he lets you go and leans back, shimmying off his jacket—the very one you’d been haunted by when he lent it to you once before—and settles it around your shoulders. Residual heat from his body still lingers in the fabric, instantly warming you and making you aware of just how cold you were before.
You stare up at him, through the rain as the pale moonlight shimmers off the droplets of water caught in his hair. The familiarity of it makes your heart squeeze tight in your chest. Once again the two of you find yourselves in the middle of the rain with Marc’s jacket wrapped around you. It’s a deja-vu you wish you can relive a thousand times over.
“C’mon,” Marc says, holding out a hand and helping you to your feet, “Let’s get you home.”
To be continued...
Dedicated to @thirstworldproblemss because I am just very happy I have a friend like her in my life and that I get to share this story together with her.
a/n: to be notified of new writing updates follow @astroboots-writes and turn on notifs 🤡💖🤡
#oh ma gad#ok so when you said the watch makes a cameo appearance in this chapter i wasn’t expecting it to be so sad#but the watch brought my boy jake#jake jake jake#i saw this last night and thought id save it for friday to finish this week with one good thing#then i read the tags and i was scared#this chapter is so descriptive and im looooving it#the attention to detail the imagery of it#stunning#i loved the rythme where she discovered that the ripples are more than water and that the monster is in front of her#i had to take a break and do a lap around the flat#and this chapter was SCARY like right and proper#but when marc appeared i swear i was giggling and tucking my hair behind my ear like ‘oh hi marc i didn’t know you were here haha’#im not going to lie he’s hot and the protective side of him is really doing things to me#but im not proud of the ‘old lady clutching her pearls’ gasp i let out when the suit turned black and jake took over the body#he went right to it#good for him#(the part when she kicks the monster and it’s all squishy… i was also feeling queasy)#oh boy i love my marc so much#she was really ready to die here with him oof#(and she felt guilty about not eating stevens burnt food bless her heart)#I AM LIVIIIIING#I LOVE THIS SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR SHARING#marc spector#fic rec#jake lockley#steven grant
765 notes
·
View notes
Text
got meds for the side effects of my meds, can not wait to see how far we can take this!!
#hey sertraline stops me sleeping what’s with that#also it’s so fucking good to have a dr that not only believes everything I tell her but also immediately will give me a solution lmao#me to my doc: oh hey i haven’t gotten a good sleep since i started the meds i assume it’s normal#my dr: absolutely it is not here have such super intense sleep meds that will scare you when you look at the warnings#but fear be damned those guys are GOOD at making you sleep#oh EDIT from this point bc i forgot#i have found sertraline fine for my anxiety management like i can now use grounding techniques and they work which is wild#but also it’s made me hugely aware that the causes of my anxiety are not just like GAD things#but good news my dr thinks I have adhd (she didn’t say it outright ofc because she isn’t a psychiatrist)#so that’s like good for my referral!! and i didn’t even go in depth with my reasonings and whatever and she was like yep that’s textbook#anyway all done BYE
1 note
·
View note
Text
you get the idea
#hdbshbh i feel like garbage take some silly selfship content#me: yeah sock opera is one of the best episodes of gravity falls imo#🔪: hm. i am sensing a pattern here.#i gad to redo all of these expressions like 15 times . miserable. there r so many eraser shavings in my bed#mine#🔪#update judt realized i forgot to draw his goatee in the last image sigh#shut up im miserable its fine hshfjdbsjd#i wanna draw him like. high quality. maybe tomorrow#had a good idea for a caption. quoting a super fucking niche horror podcast but it made me laugh dhdhdbs#🐟 mac
0 notes
Text
Half of me is sad about possibly calling off work because money :(
But the other half is excited about having more time to make a decision 😎
#all at the cost of my puking here and there throughout the night >.> is it gerd? food borne illness? gad? who knows! but i#probably shouldn't go to work if my tummy is having several moments :/#vomit mentioned cw#ask to tag#my text
1 note
·
View note
Text
Yo, ma è la prima volta in tutta la mia vita in cui sto riuscendo a gestire l'ansia.
Cioè, volete dirmi che le persone possono vivere così tranquillamente e non morire ad ogni singolo problema/imprevisto???
Ma che cos'è questo nuovo mondo di pace?
Mi sembra di essere passato da essere un reduce del Vietnam al semplice atto di lavorare e studiare. Volete dirmi che è così che si vive?
Oh, mio Dio, il mio cervello mi ha mentito da quando sono nato.
#shout out to my therapist#I'm sorry Im a lot of work babe#oh mio dio ma che significa che posso respirare senza sentirmi in colpa???#hello???#this is how yall are feeling every normal day?#general anxiety disorder#ansia#italian things#ray vs gad#My neurons are all cheering bc it's the first time I scored since forever#like it's being 100 years meme in here
0 notes
Text
y’all i think i have autism and i’m having both a full blown identity crisis and also a total understanding of everything that’s ever happened in my entire life and i can’t go for an official assessment because i eventually want to move to a different country lol. new countries don’t like to let us in apparently.
#so now i just need to sit here and attempt to navigate this new information#(it's not that new it's been like a year in the making)#but how are you supposed to have people take you seriously if you don't have an official diagnosis?#i had a hard enough time before i got diagnosed with all the other things i have#and some of those are physical illnesses with very obvious symptoms#ie crohn's#let alone the GAD depression and now apparently autism#life is difficult
1 note
·
View note
Text
25 small but comforting gestures for your otp:
( feel free to use <3 )
squeezing their hand reassuringly
hugs from behind :(
taking a photo of your lover when they're beaming ♡
forehead kisses while hugging !!
rubbing their thumb over your knuckle
exchanging smiles from across the room
"my love" <33333 AHHHHH
them peppering kisses all over your face.
winking at them, or sending them flying kisses and seeing them fluster :))
sending them memes throughout the day-"this reminded me of you"
pulling their legs onto theirs whenever you sit close to them > <
draping a blanket over ur sleepy lover :(
"come here, and give me a kiss" :)
"i think i might be in love with you."
smiling into kisses ( or booping noses after a kiss )
sinking into your arms whenever they gad a long day
kissing your shoulder while they spoon you in cuddles <3
when they laugh at your messy hair in the morning >>
when they leave notes for you around the house
painting their nails while they fake-protest
tugging a flower onto the side of their head and oh god, are they pretty
complimenting the features they love the most about you :/
watching rain together while cuddling!
roasting each other for their embarrassing moments late at night!!
when your loves likes to drape their arms around yours while walking together :]
#writer prompts#otp prompts#romance writing#dialogue prompts#imagine your otp#writeblr#writing prompts#romance prompts writing#urfriendlywriter#prompts list#prompt list#otp writing#otp things#otp ideas#otp ship#otp meme#imagine your characters#imagine your ocs#can yall tag when u write these cause i'm dying to read!#soft prompts for lovers#soft dialogue prompts#comforting gestures#comforting dialogue prompt#angsty dialouge prompts#angst starters#fluff starters#fluffy prompts#fluff prompts#soft gestures#showing love
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
oh my fucking god i hate having an anxiety disorder
#marzivents#currently nonverbal bc the anxiety has made me Nauseous!!!#uh. if anyone has any tips on alleviating physical anxiety please do lmk#so sick of just sitting here stewing in it. i try to go do things so i don’t reinforce it and then i get so ill that i have to limit myself#and people say it’s not a big deal. bitch i cannot talk rn#and i want to!!! real bad!!!#ah well. at least i know why it’s happening this time. i don’t have to question my mental health on top of all this#i know it’s because i have GAD. that makes it a lot easier#still sucks though!!! i hate when i get these like. anxious periods#been an annoying few days man. maybe i’ll shower later#gonna keep rbs open but only if people have advice for dealing with this kinda stuff#bc i’m losing my mind i’m so pissed abt it
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
worst day ever
#marian cant bring me home bc she gad 2 take her suster to the er Not her fault thats fjne brenda left 2 hours ago dee has a date nee is in#thailand rn dajs car is too bad 2 get us all th way to my house but she said she might be able to trade cars eith her server friend bc her#server friend has a good car The server friend took her husbands truck today (btw crazy bc this girl turned 18. like last week. what ???#maybe im misremembering and she said boyfriend....) and her husband/bf doesnt let other people into his truck And greg isnt here today so#he cant guve me a ride. idk where new girl natasha lives but 1. im rly mad at her rn like less mad than i was earlier but still frustrated#2. she doesnt get off until 6. so basically i have to pay 40 dollars for a fuckjng uber which completely negates rhe fact thag today i got#time and a half bc half is like 45. so fuck everything on this planet. Nd im gonna kms too.#but its fine. earlier this week i did get a ride from marian jnstead of $20 lyft so ig that cancels out a little bit but i also got my#stupid walmart order and it is stuff j need like body wash hand sanitser hand soap. but i also got christmas stuff and now i feel stupid#for getting fucking christmas stuff even tho i only ordered it bc i wanted 2 make sure it got here b4 the 2nd bc the 2nd is my grannys#biethday and we always went to her house to decorate her tree on her birthday bc she loved christmas. and basically fuck everuthing#and i jiss my granny and i wish i didnt live in fuckinf washington
0 notes