#g. t. goad

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

"BOARD STARTS INTERNMENT CAMP PROBE," Montreal Gazette. September 4, 1940. Page 9. --- Special board of experts appointed by Hon. J. L. Ralston, Minister of National Defence, to study the organization and administration of internment camps, on the occasion of its first meeting which was held in Ottawa. Members of the board are: left to right, WARDEN G. T. GOAD of Dorchester Penitentiary: COL. P. A. PIUZE, chairman; and COL. THOMAS DANN, former deputy commissioner, R.C.M.P.

[thebirdsandthebats]

Okay @s-p-r-i-n-g-t-i-m-e I’m sure you know plenty BUT I’m going to use your wonderful and hilarious comment on this as an excuse to talk about Bernard, bc I realized recently that there are plenty of ppl who haven’t read most of the comics he’s been in. So get ready for my long overdue:

UNPACKING BERNARD DOWD + HIS TRAUMA (for those who cannot keep up with comics but want to get to know him)

So to start, Tim met Bernard years ago ofc, when they were in high school. It’s established pretty quick that Bernard is an extremely Unserious guy LMAO, the first thing he does is literally circle Tim and try to feel him out socially, see what kind of guy he is. He’s the kind of guy who gets himself in trouble with his big mouth, and seems to enjoy poking at Tim and testing his patience. By the time we meet Bernard again in the recent years, he’s grown a lot, but at his core he’s still the light-hearted, fun, goofy guy with very strong opinions. Just less stand-offish, maybe

Throughout the time Tim spends at this school though, Bernard does experience some wild shit. He lost Darla (somebody he really cared about), he experienced a shooting at his school, and then Darla came back from the dead, kind of scared the hell out of him, and used him to contact Tim again. It was kind of played for laughs, but like. That’s gotta fuck you up. (Robin #140)

Obviously this is the kind of thing that maybeee has a lasting effect on you. And BECAUSE Tim Drake: Robin got cut so short and the writer had to rush to wrap up the series, we’re left to fill in a lot of gaps and draw conclusions about the years we didn’t see Bernard ourselves. But we absolutely get some insight as to his life after Tim left that school and we stopped seeing him in the comics. Spoiler alert: it was hard.

In TDR, Bernard discusses the the cult that he’d been in that Tim saved him from in Urban Legends. He says that “he’d accepted himself”, but others hadn’t. Obviously there’s the natural reading that he means his queerness (which has me chewing through drywall), but I think that he’s speaking very broadly too. Bernard is a very odd example of a civilian, because he’s always getting dragged into things much bigger than him. And even before that, he had his big ideas, his conspiracies, his loud personality. He tended to rub people the wrong way in high school. Then in issue #7 of TDR (the Bernard pov issue my most beloved, weird pacing aside) Bernard refers to this “oozy, sticky feeling” that he ALWAYS feels when Tim isn’t around. He says when he’s alone it’s harder to put one foot in front of the other. To keep GOING. To wake up every day.

I think that Bernard has always felt like an outcast. (Robin #121, he doesn’t fit into any clique). He wasn’t as okay with it as he acted. And I think he wasn’t getting any attention from his parents. (Batman: Urban Legends #5, Bernard’s parents nonchalance to the days leading up to his kidnapping)

So just like Bernard explained to Tim, that feeling got bad. and he wanted to let go. The chaos monsters, the cult, all of it was a means to an end. But then Tim agreed to see him again, and I think that sparked something in him. Because he started learning to fight. When he was tied down to that alter and Tim was saving him, I think it fully sank in to Bernard that he didn’t want to die. Reconnecting with Tim gave him hope and made him really feel something good for the first time in ages.

So now that they’re dating after the cult fiasco, we get to know this current Bernard. A less goading, maybe calmer Bernard. But he’s still himself, of course, rambling about his ideas and making bad jokes and sticking to his guns (he has NEVER been a pushover, no idea where people get that idea?). I think a lot of people complained that Bernard mellowed out too much in terms of attitude, but I think if he seems “nicer” it’s because 1) he’s grown now. It’s been a while since we last saw him, and he’s clearly changed a lot. And 2) because he’s dating Tim now. He likes him a lot, and he’s an affectionate partner. He wants to lift Tim up.

But the fact that he was pulled into a cult still remains. And as lighthearted as Bernard tries to be, that traumatic experience still happened. It said in Urban Legends #5 while Tim was searching for him that Bernard had welts on his arms and legs and had been acting different, so it’s not like he was just snatched up on a whim. He’d spent significant time there. For those who haven’t read much abt the ways cult trauma specifically can fuck you up, I recommend doing a search if you’re in a good headspace for that and want to understand him more. because it’s pretty bad.

And then! yeah. you guessed it. Bernard gets kidnapped again. Chained up next to a BOMB that’s counting down. RIGHT WHEN HE’S WORKING ON HEALING FROM ALMOST BEING SACRIFICED BY A CULT.

And surely this can’t get crazier. He’s almost died twice in the past 6 months. except, remember his parents? In TD:R #7, we really see a little more of his relationship with his parents. He doesn’t live up to their standards, and his dad specifically seems to just want to argue with him. The restaurant they’re at is attacked, and everything goes to shit, and. you know, I think these panels really speak for themselves.

And for the record, when it’s revealed that everyone is seeing their worst fears, Bernard’s parents fears are not about him.

So now Bernard has to deal with that. And we start to see that Bernard is really not as okay as he’s tried to be. He keeps a baseball bat by his door because he’s been kidnapped twice now. And just when he’d likely thought things couldn’t get worse, he heard the Chaos Monsters were back. I can’t imagine he feels safe. He lashes out for the first time since all this has happened and yells at Kate and Tim, because while they’re doing what they feel is necessary to save more people (AND I DONT BLAME THEM AT ALL), Bernard can’t talk about it.

And I will forever be sad and insist that TD:R got cancelled too soon, just before we could get into the really juicy stuff, because things had to be wrapped up pretty quick and this was the only comic Bernard was consistently appearing in. But when Tim is giving himself up to the chaos monsters, Bernard goes out and rallies anyone he knows can help. Things were rushed because there was no more time to flesh out the story the way it could have been, but I’m including these panels just because I love Bernard Audacity Dowd using a fucking flashlight and shadow puppet to call Batman. geeking out for a minute. And then leading the battalion to save Tim with a SLEDGEHAMMER. gay people rule.

So yeah! While I see the vision of how a lot of Bernard’s trauma was meant to be semi-resolved and let him come to peace after saving Tim back, we just didn’t have the time for him to heal properly. I’d give anything to get inside his brain again. UHH IF YOU READ THIS I HOPE YOU LOVE BERNARD NOW and don’t come at me if I left something out, some of my comics aren’t with me rn. Bonus TimBer for the road:

[aziraphales-library]

Hello, hello, hello!

First off, I wanted to say thank y'all for all you do in the fandom, you guys are the main way I find new fics to read :D

Secondly, sorry if this has been asked before but is there any fics where Aziraphale is talking negatively about himself and Crowley is having none of it?

Once again thank you, y'all are the best!!

You'll want to check out our #insecure aziraphale tag for loads of fics like this. Here are more to add...

Thou shalt not seek release by StormIn_A_Bottle (E)

"Say it, angel. Repeat what you said earlier." "That I was fat. And unattractive." "And what did we decide about that?" "That I would be punished for telling lies." - Another contribution to the Spring Kink GOAD event, this time with the prompt "Orgasm Denial"

And Aziraphale Cried by Wintersprings23 (NR)

Aziraphale knows what he’s doing is bad. He knows that he shouldn’t do it, but he also knows deep down in his gut, that he deserves it. He’s seen how much harm he has done, by being ignorant, thinking he was better than these humans. And he has tried to make up for it, he really has, but he still lies in bed at night thinking about what he could have done. Who he could have saved. Aziraphale had done so many blessings, but sometimes they hadn’t worked. He had seen so many humans shorten their already short lives, hollow eyes and wounded body beyond saving

You're beautiful by Between_stars_and_Nebula (NR)

Crowley and Aziraphale have been living together as lovers for six months. Everything is going well but for the last two weeks, Aziraphale seems turned off, tired and depressed. Crowley decides to figure out what's wrong with his handsome lover “Crowley had his nose buried in his angel's perfumed hair, tears in his eyes at this violent suffering that he did not understand. The muscles ached from holding Aziraphale as hard as possible against him in the hope of calming his trembling. " What's wrong ? ", he whispered softly, almost more to himself than to the angel, "What's happening to you? What can I do? " "

Insecure by White Queen Writes (T)

When gaggles of women start flooding his shop on their lunch hours just to gawk at his sexy husband, Aziraphale begins to succumb to the new doubts and fears that come as a result of going native. Luckily, Crowley has a cure for that.

There is strength in your softness, Angel by Cuppa_Rosie_Lee (G)

A soft little drabble about a soft angel. Crowley and Aziraphale return to the bookshop after a date at the Ritz. Aziraphale becomes self-conscious about his weight, but Crowley is having absolutely none of it. All the feelings and a ridiculously soft demon in love.

I won’t stand for it by Dancer_in_the_rain (T)

“Look, if you don’t want to see me again, that’s fine. I just would have liked to know what I did wrong. But if you don’t want to talk about it, I guess I’ll just-“ His hand started slipping from Aziraphale’s and in a sudden rush of panic the angel gripped onto the demon tightly. “No!”, he gasped, the thought of his beloved leaving indefinitely suddenly feeling like a crushing weight on his chest. Crowley looked back down at him, his expression confused and hurt. “Tell me what’s going on here then, angel. What has suddenly gotten into you?” Aziraphale worried his lip between his teeth, unable to meet the other’s eyes. He could feel his heart beating up his throat. Was he really about to tell Crowley? Well, yes. Crowley deserved his honesty. If anything he didn’t deserve Aziraphale throwing him out and not even giving him a reason. Even if it was a good reason. He felt like fainting when he looked back up again into the face that he loved so much. The face that he felt so undeserving of loving. “Would you… do you think I should get a new corporation?” Or: Aziraphale overhears Crowley reprimanding his plants and starts to wonder if he’s even good enough for his demon.

- Mod D

[pizzaqueen]

464 words of pre-slash pining fluff for day one of @steddie-week / rated G or T

It’s not as tight a fit in the listening booth as Eddie hoped it would be, but it does get him closer to Steve than he’s been all day. (Well, except for when he draped himself all over Steve at their table in the food court, or when they were pressed close in the photo booth, Eddie goading Steve into making goofy faces, or when their knees were resting together at the movies earlier.)

But they’re in their own bubble here. The rest of the world completely shut out. Just the two of them, one set of headphones, and a song shared between them.

Eddie has the album at home, and he wouldn’t be surprised if Steve knows that, but he didn’t resist when Eddie dragged him in here with one hand curled around Steve’s wrist, the other clutching the album they’re listening to now.

The song is so familiar and it fades to the background as Eddie watches Steve sidelong; the drums keep time with the beat of his heart, the howling guitar could be the singing in his blood. He catches Steve looking at him, once, twice, three times, his pulse skipping whenever their gazes lock.

This is almost everything Eddie wants. Listening to music with Steve, forgetting about the world beyond the song and the space between them. It would be perfect if he was sure that Steve’s heart is beating as hard as his, that his skin tingles at the nearness of Eddie, the way Eddie’s skin is tingling, now, being so close to Steve. The way his stomach swoops, and his chest feels full to bursting, how he’s every single fucking hopelessly in love cliche whenever they’re together, and even more when they’re not.

But he doesn’t know. He has no fucking clue. Sometimes, maybe, he thinks—hopes—but how can he be sure? He’s out of his depths here. It drives him crazy but, fuck, in moments like this he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Steve shifts, their hips bumping together, the brush of his arm against Eddie’s sending electricity through him. It draws Steve closer and he doesn’t move away, so they listen to the rest of the song pressed close, like the booth is half the size.

“So”—Eddie pulls his side of the headphones away from his ear when the song ends—“what did you think?” He bites his lip, kicks Steve’s foot.

“I think I liked it.” Steve’s gaze flicks outside the booth, then fixes back on Eddie. His eyes twinkle, warm and dark, and he turns so he’s facing Eddie fully. He licks his lips and leans in, saying, “But maybe we could listen to it again?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, a smile forming, “maybe we could,” and he starts the song over.

[dramioneasks]

HP FESTS: Dramione Month (Part 10)

Dramione Month 2024:

Dizzy at the Falling Stars by galaxy_skies - T, one-shot - Professor Snape has been teaching them the Patronus Charm for two weeks. Most of her fellow Dumbledore’s Army students have been pretending to struggle with the spell. Not Harry, though, of course. His stag careens impressively around the classroom until Snape tells him to stop posturing or it’ll turn into a peacock. And while everyone else is busy casting spells, Hermione has been busy watching Draco Malfoy.

Obliviate by WitchyWander - E, one-shot - The first time Hermione realised that Draco Malfoy wasn't the biggest git in wizarding Britain was the day he finally kissed her. Too bad Harry had to be an idiot and waltz into her office at the worst possible time.

Pansy Plans a Party by TheDarkFaerie - E, 3 chapters - Pansy is in charge of planning and running a special party. She's going to make sure that it's extra special. “Paperwork check,” a dangerously low satin of words rippled across the dark carpeted room, bringing silence to the goading voices all around Hermione’s ears. ** Long snippet from my full series re-write, currently in progress, called "A Moment of Leverage". ** [WARNINGS: Rape/Non-Con]

Obliviate by saneasluna - G, one-shot - He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to pull forward all the memories he can, a whirling kaleidoscope of colors. He tries to touch each moment with his mind one last time, fast forward through what’s been keeping him going this last year. That first kiss in front of the Black Lake, under darkness of night, their breaths coming out in puffs of cold as they bundled under his cloak.

Haven’t I given enough? by Goldenbuckydrabbles (Goldenbucky) - E, one-shot - She never imagined she would be face to face with the task of performing this devil of a spell for a second time. She digs deep into her emotions, trying to draw up the raw strength she needed the first time, filling herself with the same courage and resilience she had to feel to save her parents as she gears up to cast the spell. For, in the end, it’s to save his life. She has to be strong. She has��to do this.

Lost Love by HCB123 - G, one-shot - Why did Draco refuse to identify the golden trio? What was really going on upstairs when Harry and Ron were locked in the dungeon listening to Hermione's screaming at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange? A fic in which Draco is just a boy, trapped in an impossible situation wanting to do the right thing but external forces prevent him.

Meet Me in Margate by thehoneydoll - E, WIP - “Don’t you want to see?” Draco asks from beside her this time. Only as she turns, he’s there. Not just a voice at the edges of her mind, but there. Tall, slender, and pale as ever—his eyes sad and his shoulders hunched as he stares at her. He looks just as he had the last time she’d seen him. “Don’t you want to remember me one last time?” “No,” Hermione answers honestly, voice hoarse and throat tight as she considers it. “I didn’t know it’d be like this. They said I just had to go to sleep and I’d forget everything. I didn’t know I’d have to relive it first.” “It’s okay, Granger,” he says with a small tilt of his lips that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “In the morning it’ll all be over.” Or: The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind AU

Come Back to Me; I Love You Still by galaxy_skies - T, one-shot - Sometimes he pulls the memory out, on quiet lonely nights when the ache bites into his bones. When the curiosity gets too much to bear.

This fest is ongoing.

[dotthings]

Since I just rewatched 4x14 "Sex and Violence" let me revisit a few things. I really really like this ep, it's darkly psychological and it's a great ep on Sam and Dean's relationship, as well as having bi Dean subtext.

The first victim murders his wife

The second victim murders his mother

The third victim, Dean, the siren tries to goad into killing his brother

So the siren manipulates some people into harming a romantic partner, or manipulates them into harming a family member, a platonic bond. The siren gets off on the violence, the power, of driving someone to that extreme.

Sam and Dean are on different paths this season. Dean misses his brother and he's lonely. They're drifting apart, mistrust is growing between the brothers. The siren takes a male form, FBI agent Nick, to entice Dean. To give him someone who is like-a-brother. But Nick isn't like Sam. Nick is a lot like Dean. He's excited about the Impala, he's knowledgeable on classic rock, he laughs at Dean's jokes. Nick is the siren purposefully honing in on the loneliness in Dean, but in so doing, creates someone who is sort of like a brother but isn't Dean's brother. They aren't brothers. What the siren is playing upon is Dean's wish for a companion who understands him, who he can connect with, and it doesn't have to be his brother.

"I gave him what he wanted and it wasn't some b*tch in a g-string, it was you" is the text. Textually, Nick is using Dean's loneliness due to his slowly growing estrangement from Sam, and giving him a substitute for that.

Nick, along with being a companion, is a potential romantic and sexual partner, which a brother wouldn't be. Those scenes with Nick and Dean in the car...for one thing the siren innately operates in a seductive way and that actor really seems to be leaning into that, and Dean is...Deaning the way he sometimes does with men he's not related to. The way they're looking at each other in the car scene. This is the subtext.

And it's so weird to me that people get attacked or mocked or have had hate threads made about them on twitter dot com just for analyzing all this (I've been trolled for it, other bi Dean fans could probably tell similar horror stories). Even recently, I know it's still been going on -- a few weeks back, some bitter Sam stan tried to claim that if you let in the subtext on bi Dean, that must mean that you are validating w*ncest and that's just not how this works.

In fact it can be both about the platonic sibling bond, and bi Dean subtext (with Dean/Nick as the unspoken potential). The episode is mainly, and most overtly, about the brothers and their strained bond and how the siren preys on that. And I have a lot of feelings about Sam and Dean in this episode. It hurts. It's poignant. That is a platonic bond on the series and one that I really love. At the same time, the bi Dean subtext, the dynamic he has with Nick, the actual seduction siren Nick is playing on Dean, can co-exist with the brothers and their sibling bond troubles. Sam is not a potential romantic or sexual partner for Dean. Nick is. And yes that can be a layer, it's called subtext, while it is ostensibly about Nick filling that loneliness in Dean because Sam and Dean are drifting apart.

We also need to put this in context of the season. This ep isn't about Dean and Cas, but it is in S4 and falls at a time when Dean is drawn to a male companion--an angel, who is not related to him. Who gets him in ways nobody else Dean knows does. An unexpected kindred spirit where Dean never expected to find that. Cas isn't like Nick, Cas is weird, and he doesn't know pop culture and he doesn't know music and he doesn't care about classic cars like Nick does. Nick is an illusion, a seduction, the siren creates The Perfect Person for Dean to get close to. Cas, otoh, is the real deal. He's authentic. The connection between them isn't a seduction, it's Cas being Cas, Dean being Dean, and Cas goes against his orders from Heaven due to his growing attachment to Dean. Cas is making Dean feel a whole lot less lonely in S4 where Dean and Sam are drifting apart and Sam is wading into dangerous waters and isn't listening to Dean. So Sex and Violence isn't about Destiel, but Sex and Violence, Dean and Nick, exist not only in the context of Sam and Dean's relationship, but what's forming between Dean and Cas as well (even if Sam and Dean are obviously most directly relevant as the context).

Scrubbing all that out, and trolling and mocking anyone for unpacking it and making their case for the bi Dean subtext is really weird and it's anti-art and it's anti-interpretation. There's nothing wrong with saying "huh, that's an interesting take, hadn't thought of that. Not sure I see it, but carry on *shrug*" and move on.

Instead, for years, there are stans who attacked subtext and attack analysis of subtext, who laugh at it and call people insane, and are still doing it recently.

This analysis of Sex and Violence is old news, but I hope my revisiting maybe adds something to the discussion of this ep. bi Dean discussion is still going on to this day about it and so is the trolling, and I refuse to be silenced on perfectly reasonable subtextual analysis because some people feel a need to throw immature tantrums. It's utterly unhinged, in a bad way, that some people have been so aggressive about actively trying to silence discussion of bi Dean in Sex and Violence.

[deedala]

🎇 Happy New Year Friends!! 🎇

From the Diary of Virginia Woolf: January 2, 1931: Here are my resolutions for the next 3 months; the next lap of the year. To have none. Not to be tied. To be free & kindly with myself, not goading it to parties: to sit rather privately reading in the studio. Sometimes to read, sometimes not to read. To go out yes—but stay at home in spite of being asked. As for clothes, to buy good ones.

For today's return to WTW, i thought it might be fun to celebrate the ways in which we survive and manage to find peace and happiness in our one precious life here on Earth. And so...

-----------------------------------

✨W e e k l y 🌟 T a g 🌟 W e d n e s d a y✨

Name: Deanna 🌱

Location: oHIo🌽

Astrological Sign: Scorpio 🦂

What's a TV show or movie you plan to re-watch this year? obvi i'm in a constant state of re-watching shameless but otherwise right now im thinking maybe some bob's burgers, some futurama, austenland...

Whats a book or fic you will probably re-read this year? ooohh you know...the usual suspects tbh: cooperative gameplay, itqd, faffy, love is a ballfield, none the wiser, the menagerie... AND...*IF* DA4 is gonna actually come out soon I'll probably re-read my fav stories from Tevinter Nights!!!

What is a song you will likely continue to play on repeat? uuhh right now its still chappell roan's whole album and hozier's unreal unearth. im sorry for cheating on my own question and basically naming like 30 songs lol

What's a tasty treat you look forward to eating more of this year? i dont think i managed to eat enough chocolate chip cookies last year, i should eat more. also i haven't had an andes mint in forever??? need some of those STAT. oh my god i totally missed out on girl scout cookies last year too!!!

What's a time sink that you will continue to sink time into this year? scrolling tumblr ofc!!!

Did you pick up any habits in 2023 that you plan to continue? not really?? maybe kind of reblogging my own posts more and trying not to feel bad about it??

What's your toxic trait? leaving petty little thoughts in my friends DMs while they're sleeping 😛

What is a coping mechanism you will continue to indulge in this year? ✨disassociation✨

Tell me something you like about how you look! my skin has been pretty nice lately, good job skin. (do you guys remember that old vine of the broken toy that would just say "sssskkiiiiinnnn" when squeezed?? i remember lolol)

Give me at least three adjectives describing things you like about yourself. loyal, generous, thoughtful

----------------------------------- Now for tagging nuggets: additionally I want to thank @mybrainismelted and @jrooc for helping me with this post!! @michellemisfit @mmmichyyy @darlingian @too-schoolforcool @juliakayyy @gardenerian @heymrspatel @heymacy @gallawitchxx @metalheadmickey @mickeysgaymom @thisdivorce @transmickey @tanktopgallavich @lingy910y @suchagallabitch @shippergirl121fic @the-rat-wins @thepupperino @energievie @callivich @lee-ow @purplemagpie @sleepyfacetoughguy @softmick @vintagelacerosette @sam-loves-seb @crossmydna @creepkinginc @suzy-queued @rereadanon @iansw0rld @milkmaidovich @sickness-health-all-that-shit @palepinkgoat @auds-and-evens @ardent-fox 💖

[so-very-small]

What is YOUR gt thought of the day?

My super specific flavor of G/t today is being the body double for a noble/royal figure, in a fantasy setting. Whether by coercion or dedication you pose as that figure for all political and social events due to your uncanny resemblance, so that if any assassination attempts are made the actual royal will be safe and far away. It’s your job, it’s your duty, and you always prepared for the possibility of getting harmed in this line of work.

You did not prepare for being kidnapped by the giant political rival of a kingdom far off. It happens suddenly, one second you’re at a ball, the next the roof is being ripped off and you’re snatched up in a gloved hand. The giant takes you back to their palace, locks you in a little birdcage above their desk. They’re charming, if not smug, quite happy to goad you with their plans and the futility of your situation. Ransom, of course, but other political ulterior motives possible.

You have to deal with the overwhelming and incomprehensible presence of a giant. Fingers twice your height, grabbing you without hesitation. A looming presence always over your shoulder. And, on top of that, you have to come to terms with the fact no rescue is coming. You’re a body double, the noble’s safe, and they wouldn’t risk a rescue mission for you. No hope, no dream of escape. So you lie your ass off.

You’re good enough at your job to not break the role of royal, and you take the rest in stride. This giant is terrifying, taking every opportunity to make you feel even smaller, and like the superb actor you are you manage to hold your own. Eventually anxiety ridden nights and verbal spats graduate to decent conversation, and soon enough you’re sitting in their hand while you talk rather than the birdcage.

The two of you get closer, incomprehensibly. You don’t notice the terror of their size, but rather how their hair falls into their eyes as they laugh. More time is spent in their pocket than not, and the birdcage is a distant memory.

And deep down, despite sleeping on their pillow every night and despite forgetting to act half the time, you’re still terrified. Because word takes a long time to travel across giant nations, but it will arrive. Word that the noble is safe and sound, and the body double is disposable, and that will be it.

Whatever thread of connection you have between your giant captor and yourself might utterly snap once they find out all the lies. What was the point of ever even thinking of love? They kidnapped you, and you lied to them about your entire identity. It was never sustainable, long-term. You lay on their pillow and watch them sleep, and wait for the last few grains of sand to fall down the hourglass. It can’t last forever.

so yeah that’s what my g/t vibe is tonight

[eowynstwin]

Hey!! You're now one of my favorite people who write about johnny ❤️ just here to ask if you have any theory how he got his chin scar? Was that in military or maybe some childhood accident?

Warnings: childhood trauma. Smutty talk. A n g s t.

-

Soap asks you at a pub one rainy evening, three shots in and showing no signs of slowing down—“Ever wanna know how I got m’scar, hen?”

You trace your finger around the rim of your glass, bourbon on the rocks, and half-smile at him. He’s been off, just a little, ever since he got home from his last deployment.

“I think you’re going to tell me even if I don’t,” you say.

He leans his elbows on the sticky bar, cranes his head in toward you. “Was me on my own ‘gainst three other men,” he stage-whispers. “All I had was my knife.”

You snort. “Sure, Johnny.”

His grin is sideways, and he medicates with a fourth shot of whiskey. “Might’ve been four men, now I think of it.”

“And were you in your knickers and none else, too?” you poke.

He leans in further. You’ve learned, as you’ve gotten to know him, that teasing him like this is practically an aphrodisiac, a siren call.

But when his fifth shot arrives, you recognize that perhaps he’s looking to your goading as another escape from whatever is eating at him. He doesn’t drink like this when he’s with you—not usually. For a man so open with his affection, so generous with his precious free time, Johnny is rather jealous to admit the things that bother him.

So you don’t press. You let him drink, and let him drape himself over you as you hobble him home, struggling to keep the umbrella over you both as he tongues your neck and groans about what he wants—and definitely cannot, in his state—to do to you.

“Wannae drown in that pussy, bonnie,” he mumbles. “Thought about it the whole time I was over there. Wake up, pussy. Go to sleep, pussy.”

You get him into your flat, and at last you’re able to push him onto your couch, which he flops across like a soaked rag. Well, you had barely controlled the umbrella.

“C’mere,” he says, hands on his thighs, palms up, fingers curling to beckon you.

You sit beside him instead, tucking your knees under you. His head lolls over to face you—a pretty red blush colors his face, sets the blue of his eyes alight.

“Johnny,” you say, quietly, gently.

He blinks a few times at you. Presses his pretty lips together.

“Was a dog,” he finally says. “When I was a kid. Got spittin’ mad at somethin’, and I was in the way of it.”

You reach up to touch his chin. Run the tip of your thumb along the scar, feel the divot it makes in his skin. Johnny wraps his big hand around your wrist, brings your palm to his mouth and kisses the center of it.

“Was a couple dogs over there this time,” he confesses into your hand. “Got loose, ran at me. Froze in my fuckin’ boots.”

You lay your hand along his jaw, still cuffed in his fingers, and trace the delicate corner of his eye with a feather-light touch. He heaves a sigh, and the shake at the tail end of it quakes him. Johnny squeezes his eyes shut, twists his mouth into a grimace.

You cup the back of his head and bring his face into the junction of your neck and shoulder. Both of his arms come around you then, dragging you to him, binding you by the waist to his body. He shakes with an enormous sob.

“Like a fuckin’ child,” he snarls at himself. “Ghost had to shoot ‘em both. I just stood there like the stupidest cunt in the world.”

You don’t say anything—there’s nothing, you know, that will comfort this. Johnny will cry, and you’ll coax him to bed for the sleep he desperately needs. And you’ll wake up to find him wrapped around you like a second skin, hands wandering, needy to reclaim the dregs of his worth that he thinks have escaped with his tears.

You’ll let him. For a man so eager to share his joy, Johnny is too reticent to show his pain. It won’t be the escape he wants; he knows you too well now, to think you’ll let him act like this never happened. So you’ll hold him now, and you’ll love him later, and he’ll find his way back to himself in the meanwhile.

[onedappercat]

2024 Fic Roundup Q and A

By @cheeseplants

What fandoms do you write in?

Good Omens

How many words have you published in 2024?

I had to do some rough addition as some of my stuff was started in 2023 and finished in 2024, so around 214,000 words.

What is your greatest achievement this year?

Just branching out in general. I wrote my first fic late 2023 after watching s2, but hadn’t read any fic prior. It wasn’t until early this year that I got attached to GOAD on Reddit. It helped me better my writing, explore different topics, and get back into art.

What are your favourite top three fics you wrote this year?

Why Does the Ortolan Sing? E, 120k words. My first human AU, Ortolan deals with some really difficult subject matter, but everyone who has talked to me about really loves the story. It’s one very dear to me.

The Modern Prometheus E, 34k words. My Frankenstein AU. It came about after a conversation of if Frankenstein having sex with his monster is necro or mofu. 😅 What was supposed to be a smutty one-off ended up a multi-chapter fic that I’m proud of.

The Bookseller’s Sin E, 4.2k words. Aka Vampire smut. What it says on the tin.

What was your biggest pit of despair moment?

Comparison is the thief of joy. Nuff said.

What have you learned?

I learned so much from the GOAD writer’s guild. My first fic was published in one go after being written in Notes on my phone. No beta and no past reading or writing fics. This was September of 2023. Since then, I’ve learned better use of em dashes, different ways to incorporate smut, writing in different tenses, poetry, and how to switch POV without being jarring. I’ve learned how to make more cohesive stories, develop characterizations that are unique and not entirely reliant on canon precedent, and build out descriptions.

What fic did you want to do but never made it off the ground?

I have a long sequel for Queen of Hell started, but due to the iffy grounds of consent in it, I wasn’t ready to keep on with it. I go back and add lines on occasion, but it’s not a priority right now.

Did you beta any fics? Any favs you want to shout out?

I did beta for two gift fics: Against All Expectations by sixbynine and Unhallowed Provenance by @nosferatini

What three fics have you read this year that you love?

When the Lanterns Are Lit by koala2all, G, 5.7k words

Not my only Friend by @isiaiowin, G, 567 words

Friends at the Funfair by ghst_signal and @isiaiowin, T, 7.6k words

What ideas are percolating for next year?

I’ve been working on Crowley’s perspective for Ortolan as well as a heavy angst one-off backstory for Hastur’s fall.

Who do you want to thank?

@goodomensafterdark for being the place I met amazing people. @isiaiowin for the poetry club and being my beta. @depressedpenguin2 @adverbian @fishey-me and mills for an awesome goblin meetup. @sspooksart for getting me back into art. @nosferatini for the opportunity to draw for her Factory Settings pod fic. @maryflanner for the huge confidence boost.

[ratsoh-writes]

Oh that's who's been goading Wine? Strange.

.....You don't think the mage lives all the way out here in Golden Valley do you? It wouldn't make sense for them to travel all the way to the city for furniture though, so what are they doing out here?

Hmm. Another mystery to solve.

And quit holding them like that Coffee. It can't be comfortable, so it's no wonder they're squirming.

@hawt-llama

Coffee huffs grabbing the bitty more around the middle now. It’s more comfortable for the little guy but still pretty restraining

Coffee: no she lives in central ebott city. Not far fr-from the shop.

Of course he knows where she lives. You don’t even question it

Coffee: ugh, wine would g-get mad if we wasted this. Let’s track t-the mage down and maybe get info on the vault…

He looks so annoyed at his nice farmers market day being interrupted lol. Suddenly-

[cherryfairytwist]

Ch14 RickRolled. RickFic

(tags: violence, gore, substance use)

—- HELLO —-

—- INITIATING DOWNLOAD SEQUENCE MEMORY CLUSTER #14 —-

—-PULLING UP EARLIEST ASSISTED MEMORY RECORDS —-

—- NARRATION SIMULATING NOW 

Astrid sat on her living room couch smoking a bowl while listening to her little radio one early Saturday afternoon. The muted Tv played a soap opera in the background with subtitles. Lounging quite comfortably, she began to pack another bowl when hearing the sound of Rick’s portal pop open. The smell of alcohol wafted in as he stepped into the room. 

“G-Good, you’re not busy.” He looked around the apartment as if expecting something, “We need to go! T-This is not a drill!” He demanded already in some type of mood.

“If it’s so important why don’t you ever call ahead?” She asked casually, barely acknowledging him. 

“Did you not just hear me-?!” He spat back ticked off, “D-do you even have a phone..?!” He asked with an annoyed sigh trying to hide his curiosity. 

“Also… it would be a great help if you compensated me for the car damage I got. You know- after cleaning up the spider mess a few days ago.” She tiredly muttered while pulling up her communicator. 

“Yeah yeah- W-We’ll talk about it later.” He brushed off, tapping his foot in annoyance. 

He eyed her waiting to find out what form of communication she had. She lazily held up her communicator to him with the screen on, waiting for him to plug his information in. He looked it over for a second quizzically while she lit another bowl and inhaled, watching him with squinted red eyes. 

“T-this is alien technology..! From the Zillaggian galaxy.. and it’s d-dated as hell…how old is this thing-? H-how did you even get t-this..?!” He squinted his eyes, glaring at her nonchalantness towards yet another obvious red flag of her identity. 

“Yeah… it’s old. I didn’t’ really know where it from. I’ve only heard of it. It…was a gift from an old friend of mine.” She replied casually not even paying attention to him as she watched the silent Tv.

Her ignoring Rick’s point made him stammer to himself, finding it hard to press her further. 

“G-Getting tired of lying and k-keeping up the act now have we?” He attempted half heartedly. 

Her eyes slowly looked back at him as she shrugged, “I haven’t been lying Rick. you’re just too nosey sometimes.” She said plainly before looking back at the TV.

He grumbled and quickly punched in some codes. He pulled up his watch to sync the two devices so that they were able to connect when either of them needed to contact the other. He shut off his watch and then it threw back to her on the couch with an aggressive flick of his wrist.

“Jesus that thing is a-ancient. It’s practically at earth’s iPhone standard..” he huffed. 

“What? You’re not going to try and hack it..? I’m surprised Rick…Not taking the opportunity seems very unlike you.” She rolled her head on the back of the couch to look at him, expressionless, almost goading him to try and complain more. 

“Sh-shut up! We have an emergency. D-don’t give me attitude right now.” He declared defensively. 

Astrid laughed and sat up to pack another bowl,

“Everything is an “emergency�� with you Rick!” She mocked making air quotes with her fingers before she pulled the bowl up to her mouth again.

“Q-quit it! I’m serious.” Rick shouted at her as he stomped over to the couch  attempting to snatch the bowl and lighter from her hands. 

Astrid remained silent and unfazed watching him tower over her. 

“D-drop it! Let’s go..!” He grunted out trying to yank them away. 

She held tight to the items exerting a much stronger force than Rick had anticipated causing him to fall forward and almost onto her. He quickly braced himself with one knee against the couch causing it to land right between her thighs. One of his hands shot out to the back of the couch to stop himself from slamming heads with her. The other hand still held to the bowl tightly. He made eye contact, staring daggers, noticing amusement creep across her face. 

“W-what is with you today…?!” He mustered out being at a loss for words as his nerves wavered being so close to her.

“What’s with me? Shouldn’t I be the one having that reaction? Im not the one always breaking into other people’s apartments.” She said as the corners of her mouth curled upward. 

“Y-you should have said something about it before then!” He replied frustrated . 

“Like that would stop you.” She said rolling her eyes and inching her face ever so closer to his as if to challenge him. 

“O-oh and what about you Hu..?! I saw you poking around in my lab!” He bitched back, “Stay out of my stuff!” 

“Aww embraced I found your little stalker files on me?” She joked letting out a single breathy laugh. 

“No- I just saw what a f-fucking mess you left in m-my yard!” He breathed out still struggling to pull the item from her grasp. 

Rick attempted once more to pull the bowl but to no avail. Getting irritated she hadn’t moved a single inch he finally blurted out,

“Quit it! We need to go now…! T-the kids need help…!” His brow knit as he finally gave up on taking the bowl and let go. 

“Wait- what’s wrong..? The kids..?” Astrid said now sobering up immediately. 

Noticing her expression changed he then pulled her up off of the couch with him and adjusted his lab coat. 

“L-like I said. Let’s go!” He ordered while pulling out his portal gun and firing it off. 

Pulling her with him, they walked through, leading to a bright alien forest. The sky was an aqua shade and the trees and grass around them were a light lime green. The plants were all shaped much differently than the plants on earth, very jagged looking. Up a ways on a path was Rick’s ship parked hidden under one of the slouching lime colored willow like trees. She looked around wondering where the kids might be and turned to ask him as they walked towards the ship. Before she was able to get a word out, the sound of laser shots rang out from nearby. 

“O-oh FUCK!” Rick yelled out in pain as he fell over to the ground, clutching his stomach and leg from shot wounds.

Astrid reached out to help him but the ground underneath caved, causing him to fall into a spike pit below. Countless metal pikes empaled him through his chest, barely missing his throat or neck. Blood sprayed everywhere along the pit’s dark sides. Astrid barely avoiding slipping off the edge before catching her balance. 

“Rick!” Astrid shouted down at him hoping he could still respond. 

Only bloody gurgles came back as he looked up at her in shock. Sudden bolts of electricity surged out of the pikes electrocuting him senseless until he had gone limp. She whipped around to see what enemies they faced. Just in time she caught a glimpse of Galactic Federation looking bugs run off into the woods after the attack. Confirming their retreat, not having to worry about fire, she leaned over the edge of the pit and yelled down to Rick again.

“Rick h-hold on! Come- come on-! reach for my hand!” She struggled to reach for him without using her shifting abilities. 

He slowly blinked, clearly fading out of consciousness for a moment, weakly reaching up his hand to her. 

“R-Rick… stop playing around! Just use your whatever gadgets to fix yourself…!” She yelled at him frustratedly until she spotted his broke and impaled watch on a spike near by. 

Her eyebrows knit in realization the situation might actually be serious. 

“A-*awwgggghhh*” he gurgled out bloody spit  to clear his throat, “A-Astrid… pull me up..!” He wheezed out.

Astrid’s adrenaline rushed panicking that Rick seemed to be incapable of bouncing back from the damage. 

“O-okay-“ Astrid hopped over the side of the pit and slammed one of her fists into the pit’s wall to prop herself upright. Then using her upper body strength to prevent herself from falling, she outstretched her free arm to wrap around Rick’s waist. 

“EeerUHHG!” He winced feeling his injuries as she made contact. 

“Hold on!!” Astrid groaned as she used her arm strength to pull Rick off of the spikes. 

He continued to moan in agony as the spikes slipped out of him. 

C-come on old man…..! Y-you’re going to be fine-!” She continued to groan out while balancing his weight on her curled up leg freeing him from the trap. 

His moaning went silent and his body began to shake slightly. Astrid then used the same arm and free leg the hoist him up over the edge. After she knew he was placed safely she grabbed the edge and dislodged her other hand from the wall to crawl back out. Scanning the surroundings for any further threat, the complete silence started to sink in, quickly looking back to the maimed Rick. 

“Rick…? Rick….!!” She yelled at him, grabbing and shaking his suspiciously silent body on the ground, “Hey! W-wake up Rick!! RICK!! COME ON RICK-!” She felt her stomach start to drop before he let out a pitiful gasp.

“S-stop…. screaming- *cough* .” He wheezed out while shoving her hands away, not wanting to be shook. 

“Holy shit Rick- you-you have a clone or something back h-home right…? Y-your watch…”She still gripped his shoulders tightly starting to feel panic creep into her chest. 

His body had gone limp and the bleeding wasn’t stopping. The color in his already pale face was fading at an alarming rate. She felt disbelief, THE Rick Sanchez would be fine right…? He always had a plan. So why did this situation seem so intense? Was she just not used to Rick’s style of cycling through artificial bodies and dramatic temporary deaths? 

“And… the kids are used to this kind of thing..?” She attempted to joke to try and calm herself waiting for his response. 

“N-no… this is different-t-this time.” Rick groaned out in pain barely fluttering his eyes open to look up at her, blood drooling from his mouth. 

“Wait- w-what do you mean…?” She said softly feeling the pang of tears just behind her eyes, this situation reminded her of the time her handler had almost died back in the day. 

“My…. watch.. it’s broken. *HUUUAAAHUGGH*. “ he coughed up a splash of blood onto her top involuntarily, “I-I don’t k-know if my back up will register m-my consciousness if the watch has been broken…” he breathed shallowly and paused to catch his breath. 

“Y-you’re kidding right-?” A small tear escaped Astrid’s eye as she looked back down at him starting to feel helpless. 

“Listen….. keep it together. I need y-you to save the kids… i-if you can get them back I-in time we might be able to take the ship home- upload me t-to a clone.” His breathing started to soften a little seeming almost too calm. 

“Your portal gun…! What about that?! Just teleport home and I’ll get the kids-!” She insisted desperately trying to search through his lab coat. 

“I-it was knocked out of my hands… did you see w-where it went…?” He asked now starting to seem dazed from the lack of blood. 

“It’s-it’s right-“ Astrid whipped her head around to the pit, the gun lay at the bottom, broken and leaking portal fluid into the dirt. 

“Fuck…!” She breathed out shaky realizing Rick just might bite the dust right here and now. 

“It’s okay..! J-just get the kids and h-head back. G-grab the pills in my l-left pocket…!” He fought to stay awake.

Astrid grabbed the pills and presented them to him with wide eyes wanting to understand how they could help. She then propped him back up to help him speak better. 

“G-give me three. It’ll stop my bleeding for a while… but you’ll need to hurry.” He gasped out once before opening his mouth to receive them. 

She quickly complied popping them into his mouth. He then choked them down furrowing his brow and hacking to clear his airways. 

“I’m about t-to pass out- don’t freak out. I-it’s just the pills. The federation bugs t-took them t-to some outpost nearby. H-Help me get the kids back in one piece… T-they’ll know how to drive the ship back home… j-just keep it together-“ he suddenly went limp, his unconscious body lay dangling in her hands. 

“R-Rick….?!” She breathed out as she quickly held up her ear to his chest. 

She could hear his heartbeat, ever so faintly. She easily picked him up in her arms and quickly jogged with him to his ship. 

“Uh…. Ship…? P-protect Rick until I can get the kids…. Okay…?” Astrid stammered out knowing it took commands from Rick, never having talked to the ship herself before directly. 

“I do not take orders from anyone but Rick.” It snapped back sassily to her, “However, since it is my duty to protect Rick I will comply. Leave him here.” It concluded while opening the glass for him. 

Astrid gently placed him into the passenger seat. The glass then snapped shut as soon as she stepped back. She looked at Rick one more time noting how peaceful he looked sitting unconscious. 

“You better hang on.. I’m going to get the kids.” She said with bitterness, feeling rage pumping through her veins. 

What had even just happened? Something didn’t feel right but she couldn’t place it. She shook her head thinking about how she still felt high from earlier, was that why? She couldn’t explain it to herself, she had only just gotten to know the Smiths but something deep inside her felt like it was going to combust. Was it that the situation was too similar to the fiasco she experienced back at Cognito? Was this post traumatic stress she was feeling? Was it because this situation disillusioned her to how supposedly invincible she thought Rick was? She couldn’t tell. All she knew was that if those bugs harmed the kids, this whole planet was going to be destroyed by her own hands. Adrenaline pumping, the stakes were high and it felt as if all other thoughts faded out of her mind. She decided to attempt a risk she was willing to take. She put in one of her communicator earbuds, taking a deep breath and pressing play on the device. “With You In My Head“ by UNKLE started to play. 

“Agent, your mission is to obtain and protect the Smith siblings. Use any means necessary… within reason..to do it in haste.” She silently stated to herself copying what her handler most likely would have said in a moment similar.

She felt her breath get shallow, was this a panic attack? She wondered it only for a moment before she felt the top of her spine snap forward. Her vision went black for a moment, everything had gone silent. She saw a small light… no, a tunnel. She was in the forest already sprinting at an unnatural speed. Flying by trees, her nostrils shifted and flared as she picked up the familiar scent of the Smiths near by with an alien nose. Her behavior was like that of a hunting dog closing in. The outpost Rick spoke of stuck out like a sore thumb straight ahead in a clearing. There were very few thoughts in her head, mostly objectives. 

Coming up to the post she spotted two of the insect guards posted outside a side entrance. She did not slow her pace, her movement turned into something like that of a spear. Lunging out of the green, her hands were around their neck’s in seconds. Loud snaps followed, not even allowing her victims to know what had transpired. Their bodies slumped back against the wall lifeless. A ripple was felt throughout her body as it shifted to copy the exact appearance of one of the victims. Her hand then plucked one of the key cards off their neck to open the door. She didn’t need to bother hiding the bodies, this would be quick. Once inside she looked about with her new bug eyes figuring out what pathways to take to find Summer and Morty. 

~

Back at the ship, Rick’s eyes popped open followed by a deep inhale. He looked about slowly to see if there was any sign of Astrid nearby. He proceeded to cough up a bit of bloody bile onto the ship’s floor. 

“S-ship, s-show me footage of where A-Astrid is.” He commanded, a weak grin crept across his face as the ship pulled it up on a screen panel. 

~

At this point the outpost’s alarms had started sounding. Astrid walked about the building bloody, looking mindless and deranged calling out for the two kids. Corpses littered the hall behind her. Other than the alarms, most the building had gone silent. She no longer had to worry about shifting to take on the identity of the bugs. They already knew she was there at that point. 

“Summer! Morty! Where are you?” She shouted to be heard over the noise, unnervingly calm. 

She finally came up to double doors with a sign labeled “Mess hall” above them. 

“A-Astrid….?!” Morty’s shrill voice called in surprise from inside having heard her over the sirens. 

“Morty!” She called out relieved, shoving the doors open. 

Shots rang out towards her, she flew forward dodging their path, diving behind an overturned mess hall table for cover. She held the laser gun she had stolen from Rick a while back tightly, waiting for silence. She peaked up over the rim to see a few bugs had the siblings held tied up over near the kitchen area. 

“You have some nerve launching an attack on one of THE Galactic Federation’s out posts! Reinforcements will be coming soon!” One of the bugs called to her from the kitchen. 

“Are you crazy?! Did you see what she did to the others on the security cams….?!” Another bug bickered in panic while holding a firm grip over Summer’s mouth in fear, using her as a human shield. 

“Shut up idiot! We have hostages!” Another yelled at him trying to assure them. 

“I have nerve? You took the Smith children from Rick Sanchez.” Astrid replied plainly with no emotion from behind the table. 

“T-that’s right…! R-Rick a-and Astrid are going to fuck y-you guys up..!!” Morty yelled out across the mess hall confidently. 

“Shut your mouth!” The head bug screeched before slapping Morty across the face.

Morty lashed out and bit the bug hard on his fingers causing it to scream out. The bug then punched Morty in the gut leaving him winded. 

Astrid felt her jaw clench in anger and suddenly she was jumping over the table towards them. The bugs all screamed out in fear, firing off shots in her direction. Summer took the opportunity to bite the hand of the bug that held her mouth causing him to recoil away in a scream. 

“Morty! G-get up!!” Summer yelled as she attempted to help him up off the floor away from the bugs. 

Astrid dodged and weaved around mess hall furniture while firing off shots of her own. Seeing the kids were out of range she tossed up a chair and kicked it across the room, instantly making aggressive contact with the bug closest to the siblings. The bug went flying back into the grill with a painful thud and groan. Before Astrid was able to duck again a shot got her in the stomach. 

“UAAH!” She yelled in pain as she fell to the floor behind another table. 

“Astrid!!” Summer yelled in shock after seeing Astrid had been shot. 

The bugs quickly took the opportunity to grab both the siblings again, and the one bug rolling off the grill. This time the bugs jostled them about more violently, using them as human shields once more, holding up guns to their heads. 

“If you-you want these two alive, come out with your hands up…! I-if you can get up that is…” the head bug yelled over to Astrid confidently. 

“N-no! Astrid don’t do it!” Morty protested looking from Summer back over to the table. 

“A-Astrid…? you’re okay right..?” Summer called, now worried by the silence that had followed the bug’s demand. 

Everyone stood holding their breaths not knowing what to do in the moment. The head bug then grabbed one that had fallen off the grill and shoved him forward, 

“Go check to see if she’s dead! Hurry up.” He demanded. 

“W-wait boss-! Why me.?!” The other bug questioned fearfully freezing in place. 

“Because you idiot, we got the hostages!! GO CHECK!” The head bug screamed back angrily. 

After a moment of hesitation the other bug tip-toed over to the table where Astrid lay behind. He peeked over for a second and sighed a breath of relief. The siblings both looked at each other in horror assuming the worst had happened. The bug then went behind the table to retrieve Astrid’s body for safe measure. Tears started to roll down Morty’s cheeks as he began to hyperventilate. 

“No… no….! Y-you have to be okay Astrid…!” Summer whispered in denial, not wanting to face the reality another one of their friends died because of them. 

The two bugs holding the kids started to snicker thinking they were finally in the clear when a loud snap echoed throughout the mess hall. Everyone went silent as the investigating bug’s lifeless body fell to the floor, revealing its horrifying twisted neck. 

“FUCK!!” One of the remaining bugs screamed in fear.

“S-STAY BACK!!! I’M SERIOUS, WE’LL SHOOT…..COME OUT!” He shouted now shaking in fear. 

Fear creeped down everyone’s spines as they heard an a quiet unnerving giggle come from behind the table. Astrid slowly rose up from behind with her hand up slowly. A dark ink like fluid dripped from the corner of her mouth as well as her stomach wound. The other hand gripped her side as an inappropriate grin sat across her face. 

“Okay.. okay. I’m done playing around now, just had to get that one out of my system. I mean.. now it’s fair right? You exchanged those two for your two lives right?” She said to the bugs as she slowly inched closer with caution. 

“Are you fucking s-serious-?!” The head bug choked out in disbelief of her gall. 

“I mean…” she said in a joking tone, chuckling while couching up more black liquid. 

“This is crazy…! W-we have the kids! Back off…!” The other bug choked out trying desperately to assert their fleeting dominance. 

Astrid’s eye contact went to both Summer and Morty, checking to see what states they were in. Her face softened a little but the deranged twinkle in her eye did not subside. 

“Summer..? Morty..? You two okay?” She asked letting empathy soak into her words. 

“Y-yeah…!” Morty sobbed out once, still getting over the fear of thinking Astrid was dead before feeling the unnerving sensation her expression left on him. 

“Yeah…! A-Astrid what do we do…?” Summer asked hesitantly feeling the energy ripple off of Astrid. 

“Kids.. I want you to know that these past few months have meant a lot to me… I really think we are all birds of a feather you know…? That’s an Earth saying right? I haven’t had this much fun in ages…” Astrid started to confess still smiling. 

“Astrid what are you saying…?! Why does that-?” Summer started to tear up fearing why Astrid suddenly would be mentioning sentimental things at the moment. 

“Calm down- listen.” Astrid interrupted her before Summer could continue. 

“You finally giving up….? Y-yeah.. It’s about time!” The head bug interjected quickly. 

“You guys… I just want to say I’m sorry. I haven’t been one-hundred percent honest with you guys…. I’m sure you both have noticed- besides just your grandpa…” Astrid confessed slowly, a bit of regret creeping into her voice. 

“W-who cares…!!! W-we both knew y-you weren’t normal Astrid- w-why does that matter at a-a time like this…?!” Morty yelled out between angry sobs. 

“Morty… I just was trying to protect myself, you two should understand…I wasn’t purposely trying to deceive you or anything.” Astrid looked down at the ground for a second with gritted teeth before composing herself again. 

“Astrid…?” Summer called out still scared as to what this meant. 

“What the hell does any of that even mean?! Why are you still yapping? Are you giving up or what-?!” The bug yelled in frustration before being interrupted. 

“Kids, I’m going to make sure you two are okay, I’ll understand if you two just want to take your grandpa and leave after this okay? He’s hurt bad and is going to need your help.. I won’t be mad if you leave me here.” She said with resolve. 

“W-what do you mean-?” Morty asked confused before he abruptly went silent.

Astrid’s eye went black. There was only enough time for a gasp of air before the visual of her blurred right by the two siblings. It was in turn followed by two loud neck snaps. Both Summer and Morty’s blood ran cold as the bugs that were holding them hostage crumpled to the floor behind their feet. They both looked up at her black, dead looking eyes while trembling slightly. 

“Astrid..?” Summer squeaked out in fear realizing why she had started confessing all that a moment ago. 

“You two need to run.” Astrid said struggling to feel control over herself, she breathed in sharply fearing what happened at Cognito Inc. was about to repeat itself. 

Before the siblings were able to move, a shot rang out from the mess hall doors as a straggler bug seemed to have found them. 

“Die you freak!!” It screamed in rage.

Both the siblings eyes went wide in horror as they noticed a laser hole leaked black on Astrid’s forehead. 

“NO! ASTRID!!” They both screamed in horror as she limply fell forward in front of them. 

Her knees buckled and she fell backwards, sprawling out against the tile floor. A pool of black ink forming under her skull. The sibling both screamed and dropped to their knees, grabbing at her arms and shaking her. 

“No no no no…!!!” Summer sobbed, tears pouring down her face.

“WHY?! WHY?!” Morty screamed.

“You- you were so nice to us Astrid…! You got us…! Come on, please!! Please-!!” Summer yelled at her. 

“Get up Astrid…! G-get up…!” Morty sobbed even harder still attempting to shake her awake. 

“W-we need to get Rick…! H-he can-“ Summer tried to suggest desperately. 

“S-she said he was injured…. W- we’d need to take him home as soon as-“  her sobs where cut short. 

“Shut up and stay down! You little shits are going to pay for this!” The straggler bug yelled at them as it rushed up, gun out pointed at them. 

As he closed in and was about to grab Morty by the collar, Astrid’s body flinched, tiny little popping noises were heard coming from her skull. Her eyes shifted back to normal irises and she kicked up sending her boot into the bug’s eye. 

“AAAH!” He screamed recoiling in pain as his fly eye popped from the impact. 

She flipped backwards sending her legs coiling around the bug’s neck and briskly snapped his neck violently with her thighs. His lifeless body sent them both tumbling forward onto the floor. Astrid let out a groan crawling up off of him, still feeling the pain of her injuries. 

“Y-you’re okay-?” Morty gasped in surprise before a chorus of noises interrupted the siblings. 

Congratulatory horns sounded off from panels in the mess hall walls, confetti burst from the ceiling all over the room, and a small stage rose up from a panel in the center of the room. The sound of a familiar Earth song started to play, “Never Going To Give You Up” by Rick Astley blared out. A completely uninjured Rick rose up with the stage, dancing along mockingly to it just like in the music video. 

“N-nice job Astrid! You really saved the kids again!” He said in a mockingly pleased tone. 

“What the hell…?” Morty squinted his eyes in irritated confusion. 

“Grandpa what is going on…?! You’re okay?” Summer asked him knowing he was about to explain everything going on. 

“Well~ you see Summer, I was RIGHTTT~!” He gloated, “ Your little friend here is as I suspected, NOT human, and self healing. S-she’s some kind of shape shifter.” He said pointing finger guns at her. 

“W-wait… you did all this…?! Us being kidnapped?! Y-You pretending to be injured so you could see h-how Astrid c-came to save us?” Morty demanded angrily knowing exactly how his grandfather could be. 

“Bingo. I’m surprised M-Morty, you caught on fast this time-“ he said amused then turned to look down at Astrid on the floor, “just made a few clones of federation bugs… rewired their brains to think this was their real working outpost- faked getting injured- simple stuff really. But now I got plenty of concrete evidence of your TOTALLY NORMAL high school teacher’s assistant doing very abnormal stuff! I-I saw all the footage back at the ship.” He rubbed in her face.

“So you’re fine…. And the Galactic Federation isn’t on its way here right now…?” Astrid asked emotionlessly still not looking up from the floor. 

“Well yeah, duh.” Rick said nonchalantly rolling his eyes. 

Astrid wobbled to stand up, still looking down. Summer tried to help her up but was shook off, walking past straight to Rick. He arched an eyebrow, wearing a shit eating grin, wondering what she could possibly say now. 

“Don’t be too sore, it was just a good prank though right? I really got you now. But hey~ now you don’t have to hide your identity anymore right?” He said practically oozing with how pleased with himself he was. 

Without a further word, Astrid punched him hard in the nose, sending him stumbling backward. He clutched his now bloody nose angrily, looking up at her in angered shock. 

“W-what gives…?! You can regenerate! You’ll be just fine! I-it was just a h-harmless test. Y-You can’t knock me for wanting to find out what you’re made of!” He said insistently, still denying any wrongdoing. 

“I’ll be fine? Yes Rick. I’ll be FINE!” She snapped back at him with full force using some kind of alien screech, “So what!? You couldn’t just wait to get to know me as a person? You didn’t mind traumatizing your own grandchildren to prove a point? You didn’t mind risking them in a situation where they could have been double crossed or injured- OR WORSE-…AND I DONT CARE IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE THEIR BODIES BACKED UP TO CLONES OR WHATEVER-! You…- You didn’t even care about risking my life if I hadn’t had regenerative abilities like you wagered? WHAT THEN?!” Her unnatural screams echoed through the mess hall violently at him. 

The siblings remained silent looking towards their grandpa, quietly feeling solidarity with her. This left Rick speechless trying to find the words to defend himself. While waiting for a response, Astrid coughed up more black fluid painfully from her throat. 

“I- I couldn’t trust you still..!” He attempted to argue but stopped himself realizing how lame he sounded. 

“Oh- YES! You’re so right Rick. How could I have forgotten that?” Astrid said sarcastically with no hint of humor in her tone. 

She then shoved past him roughly, making her exit back out the mess hall doors. Rick turned and scoffed, still not wanting to admit his test had gone too far. 

“Astrid wait…!” Summer called to her, following behind, “We’re so so sorry for grandpa…! He- he shouldn’t have-“ 

As their voices faded down the hallway Rick rolled his eyes and groaned to himself. Morty glared up at him pissed, finally having enough of it too. 

“Y-you know y-you’re in the wrong r-right..? I mean… Astrid has been s-showing up who she was. She wasn’t even hiding anything! I knew it, Summer knew it..! We all know you knew it!!” He argued angrily. 

“W-what would you know MORTY?! Yeah sure she made it OBVIOUS- BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN SHE WASN’T JUST LIKE TAMMY! Are y-you two that- that oblivious?! Where did she e-even come from?! Why the fuck would she be so eager to get close to o-our family…? For crying out loud that substance leaking from her nose is CONCENTRATED DARK MATTER MORTY! You think that’s safe..?! There is something up with her! I-i literally have proof of her being a shapeshifter!! LOOK!” Rick yelled back as he pulled up footage projections from his perfectly good watch. 

Morty looked up to see him cycle through sped up clips of “suspicious” behaviors he had caught on recording of Astrid. Morty’s eyes went wide, soaking up all the information, but then quickly knitting his eyebrows in anger. 

“R-Rick.. you’ve been stalking her this whole time?” He asked angered by the file footage showing her location show up in DC as part of Rick’s proof. 

“I- I’ve been doing research…!” Rick spat back offended my Morty. 

Morty pinched his forehead in irritation knowing there was no way he’d get through to Rick. 

“Jesus… y-you ruined our chance to finally make a friend that could k-keep up w-with all our crazy shit..!! S-She was showing us her true colors Rick…! God- she even helped you multiple time w-without asking for anything back really! S-She talked to me and Summer about herself more directly a few times..!  None of us were ever in the dark about this..!” Morty spat out. 

“Sh-shut up Morty..! Y-You two should have said something then! I-instead of just telling me I was being paranoid! At least I made sure t-there was no room for any more deception. We know what better to expect now!” Rick raged back, clearly bitter they had known more than letting on. 

“Y-you know… you really don’t need to know everything all the time Rick. Not everyone owes you an explanation!” Morty shot back before leaving the mess hall. 

“That’s not-!” Rick attempted to continue arguing but Morty had already gone. 

~ 

It had taken Rick about fifteen minutes to walk back to the ship, hoping to have let the rest of them cool off before flying back home. He awkwardly scratched the back of his head as he neared them, seeing the two siblings huddled close to Astrid. He could hear them trying to get her to talk to them. Watching her stand silently avoiding eye contact with the kids and looking off into the woods, angry and mentally checked out.  

“Astrid please…? We know Rick is an ass hole but please give us a chance to make it up to you! Rick could fix up your injuries-“ Summer started. 

“Summer… stop. I just want to go back to Earth right now. It’s not your fault, I’m just done with this right now.” Astrid muttered tiredly to her, hearing Rick walk up. 

“Okay, let’s get out of here then.” Rick said casually, responding to her as if he had been part of their conversation. 

She rolled her eyes angrily in response and avoided his gaze. They then all piled into the ship, a tense energy hung in the air that could have been cut with a knife. Rick pulled them out of orbit and fired up a portal, making the trip back home quick. It was now night time back on Earth as Rick pulled the ship into the driveway. They all silently got out and turned to look at Astrid, her still avoiding eye contact with any of them. 

“C-could you maybe s-stay for a bit..? W-we could watch some tv or w-we could tell moms you’re staying for dinner…” Morty asked nervously grasping at straws to keep her there. 

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea Morty.” She bluntly answered before pointing the rest of her response at Rick, “Seeing as I’m not trustworthy enough to be around the family.” 

“I mean t-that’s up to you.” Rick answered with a snort, trying to sound casual. 

“Grandpa Rick, just apologize!!” Summer spat out at him.

Rick angrily turned to Summer and started to argue, “Y-you know what Summer..?! I’ll say the same thing I said to Morty before you went running off-!” 

The siblings and Rick started to argue for an intense few minutes, rehashing some of the things Rick had brought up to Morty back at the fake Federation base. Being so consumed in the argument they hadn’t even noticed Astrid was no longer there with them when they turned to look. 

“W-where did Astrid go…? Did she just leave…?” Morty asked surprised, looking around the street for any sign of her. 

“W-Whatever! If she’s ganna be a sore loser about a-a PRANK, then she can just go g-get over it.” Rick insisted before storming back into the garage. 

~

Astrid shuffled back towards her apartment on the dimly lit street, still clutching her side and forehead. Yes she had regenerative abilities, but she still felt the pain of it healing. Her head felt fuzzy and her thoughts felt empty. Was she in shock? She had gone through worse scenarios before… why did today’s events feel so troubling then? She huffed out a deep breath, little bits of inky liquid splattering in the sides of her mouth, forming up from another cough. Her ears started to ring and the faint sound of laughter filled the air. She looked around the street in confusion wondering if it was just in her head. A few of the street lamps flickered but one at the end of the street continued to shine without interruption. 

“~Tough night~?”  A distant coo asked in her ear on the empty road. 

She recoiled away from the perceived voice, turning to look and see where the owner of it might be. But with no one behind her, she continued to rubbed her head in frustration. Did the injury cause her to start hallucinating?  She sighed a breath of relief thinking that must have been the cause. As she turned back towards her destination her eyes met with a figure underneath the light at the end of the road. 

“What….?! What do you want…?!” She shouted at it while continuing to walk forward in hopes of deterring it away. 

It stood still, not wavering from its spot in the slightest. The figure was on the tall side, sporting what looked to be some type of wide brimmed hat. It slowly reached out a long arm towards Astrid, unnerving but welcoming. Something felt too familiar about it. Astrid shut her eyes and breathed for a moment hoping if it was just in her head that it would go away. She opened her eyes after a second or two and it was gone. She swiveled her head around to check that it wasn’t near by and took off running towards her apartment. 

~

Earth Beth came down the stairs already a little drunk from having too much fun with Jerry and Space Beth upstairs. It was really late and most the lights were off in the house. She noticed the tv was on from the dim glow coming from the family room. She swayed a little as she neared the dining room door, hoping not to disturb the kids by getting another glass of wine. 

“I can’t believe it..! He’s unbelievable!” Summer whispered angrily from the other room. 

“I-I mean he’s always like this… I-I feel so bad for Astrid..” Morty replied back to Summer quietly. 

Beth already in the kitchen, paused to listen in on them. She heard them rant about all that had transpired that day to each other as if still in disbelief. She frowned and swayed her way towards the family room door. 

“Dad did w-what…?!” She demanded in shocked anger to her kids.

—- PART FOURTEEN COMPLETED —- 

—- SHUTTING DOWN —-

—- GOODBYE —-

[pocket-lad]

CH 1- Something of an Unsolvable, Fascinating Mystery, but in Essence, a Friend

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Hey, so I'm writing a multi-chapter Jurassic Park g/t fic. You can also find it on my Ao3 account - pocket_lad.

Massive shoutout to @obwjam for being so helpful and encouraging. I would not have had the courage to write or post this without their support, so please check them out. Much love!

***

In hindsight, coming with Ian was probably a bad idea. 

It was definitely a bad idea.

The pocket was stuffy. The humidity was already getting to her, and they weren’t even near Costa Rica yet, meaning it would only get worse. Everything was sticky. Her clothes, her hair, the black, heat-retaining fabric of Ian’s shirt. She felt like she would suffocate at any moment. 

Though somehow spared from the normal sounds a helicopter usually came with (or so she assumed), this was the bounciest, roughest ride Adelaide had ever experienced. And living with a giant meant she experienced rough rides pretty much daily. 

Despite the humidity, Adelaide clung onto the dark insides of Ian’s breast pocket for dear life during their ascent. The roar of his voice coming from above and behind her barely made it to her ears as she put all her focus into not breaking a limb. 

As the helicopter began to level out after takeoff though, she found she was able to loosen her death grip on the fabric a little. This didn’t eradicate her fear – it only shifted the feeling from being about the plane to being about the giants lounging around them. There had to be at least a couple, and Adelaide was starting to wonder how she’d make it through this trip and avoid notice. With nothing else to do, she turned her focus to the giants’ conversation.  

“No? Non-linear equations? Strange attractors? Dr. Sattler, I-I refuse to believe that you aren't familiar with the concept of attraction,” Ian said, loudly chewing his gum. 

Adelaide rolled her eyes. They’d been on this trip for how long? Less than an hour? And Ian was already hitting on somebody. She could see the sly grin on his face without even having to look at him. Adelaide had to see this woman for herself, so slowly, carefully, and very cautiously, she pulled herself up to the lip of Ian’s pocket. Just for a quick peek. 

The fresh air greeted her face as it took her a second to locate the woman. She sat across and one seat down from Ian, though the space was small and cramped, so she wasn’t too far away. Adelaide absently noted that there were quite a few giants in the plane with her. 

Oh, okay, Adelaide thought. That makes sense.   

The woman was gorgeous, but in an effortless way. She was very tall, even for a giant, and her blonde hair was haphazardly pulled back into a loose twist. Her blue eyes sparkled with curiosity, though clearly, they could see right through what Ian was pulling. She smiled an infectious smile that made Adelaide want to do the same. No wonder Ian hit on her. 

Curious, and admittedly stalling before she had to retreat into the cramped, gross pocket, Adelaide took note of the other people in the plane. Or at least tried to. In the corner next to the woman sat a middle-aged man with a fun hat and widened eyes that were looking directly at Adelaide. 

Uh oh. 

*** 

Ian proposed the trip to Adelaide a couple weeks prior. She knew he was excited, so she hated to break the news, but she made her decision. It was too risky.

“I’m not going.”  

“It’s not like I can just leave you here,” he said.  

As the afternoon dragged on, the temperature was approaching ninety-five degrees, leaving Adelaide in a melted puddle on the kitchen table. She never understood how Ian essentially lived in his leather jacket, especially during the Texas summers.  

“Oh, so you think I can’t handle myself? You think I’m completely dependent on you?” Adelaide goaded, sitting up and raising her eyebrow. She knew he didn’t really think that, but she also knew it would make him feel guilty. Ian loved to tease her, but he always made sure to protect her sense of independence. But a trip to some unknown place with unknown people? And they’d have to take a helicopter to get there? Something that flew in the sky??? No thanks. She survived by herself long before Ian came into the picture, and she’ll do it long after he leaves. A couple days would be nothing. 

Ian gave her a look that said he knew what she was trying to do, and that it was not working.  

“Come on. It’ll only be a couple of days. See the world, see some dinosaurs,” he rambled.  

Adelaide interrupted him. She still wasn’t clear on what a dinosaur was exactly, but she knew Ian’s feelings on the subject. “You said yourself that it wasn’t going to work!”  

“No, obviously it- it won’t, but I need to be there to say...well...I told you so. And I uh, I want you to be there with me.” Ian gave her a charming smile and kneeled next to the table, putting himself at eye level with her. “A couple of days,” he repeated. “That’s all.”  

Adelaide knew it was a losing battle, especially when he positioned himself to make direct eye contact with her.   

“Fine,” she agreed, “but I don’t want you showing me off to any Beans unless I say so.” She made sure her tone indicated that she still wasn’t thrilled about the idea. Ian didn’t notice or didn’t care, as he swept her off her feet in a loose grip to go get ready.  

“Dude!” she screamed, falling back onto her butt as she lost all sense of direction. “Stop doing that!”  

*** 

Adelaide ducked back down into the pocket, her heart pounding. The man saw her. Like really saw her! The logical part of her brain realized that this was probably inevitable. At some point or another, a Human Bean was bound to see her. It was only a matter of time, but she at least wanted to delay it as long as possible, because outside of Ian, she had never been seen by a Bean before. In no way was she ready to interact with one. 

In their brief moment of eye contact, Adelaide noticed that he was fidgeting with a curved, sharp object longer than she was tall. She couldn’t help but think about what the purpose of the object was, and even if it was illogical, how easily it could be used against her. 

Adelaide chided herself for messing up so soon. Maybe if she held still, he would just assume it was his imagination. But even she couldn’t believe that. 

What Adelaide didn’t see after she retreated to the depths of the pocket was Alan’s eyes flickering between the pocket and Ian. He didn’t know what to think or say, or should he even say anything? Nobody else acknowledged the tiny being. 

Ian kept a close eye on everyone and noticed Alan’s odd behavior. He had felt Adelaide shifting around and wondered what she was doing. Getting into trouble, apparently. 

Context clues filled in the rest, and Ian picked up on what Alan had gathered. Alan was smart. There was no way he was going to let this go, and Ian also knew this was going to happen eventually, so instead of wasting his time trying to convince Alan that Adelaide wasn’t real, he took control of the situation. 

“Ah, you seem to have spotted my- my friend here? Della, why don’t you come out and introduce yourself?” Ian gave it a second, but when nothing happened, he regrettably stuck his hand into the pocket to fish her out. 

With every word Ian said, Adelaide’s dread grew tenfold. What was he doing!? All the time they spent together, all the trust they built? She may have been comfortable with him, but he knew she was not to be shown to any other Bean without her consent. Ever. 

When Ian reached for her, she kicked at his fingers and pressed into the far corner of the pocket, as far away from his giant, stupid hand as possible. She was only going to come out on her own terms, which was hopefully never. 

Obviously, her kicks did not hurt him and therefore did nothing to stop the hand from approaching. It took him multiple attempts to slide his fingers underneath her, glued to the corner of the pocket as she was, but eventually he got a secure hold. Desperate, Adelaide pulled out an old trick that she hadn’t needed to use in a long time. She bit him. 

Adelaide could hear Ian hiss, then quietly laugh as if trying to play it cool, but he just readjusted his grip and continued to pull her out. Gently, though, as ever. Always gentle. Always careful. 

Adelaide thrashed and thrashed and thrashed. How could he not take the hint? She was explicitly telling him no. Not now. She thrashed until she saw the bright light of day, then held completely still, not wanting to look like some feral animal to these unfamiliar giants. She only half succeeded as she was unceremoniously held out on Ian’s palm, sweaty and disheveled, hair sticking out at odd angles from the leftover static of his pocket. 

When Ian’s hand uncurled, Adelaide held a hand up to her eyes, shielding her from the light. She blinked a couple of times, and once her vision adjusted, her heart dropped through her stomach, out of her butt, and fell right through the floor of the helicopter into the ocean, washed away and never to be seen again. 

There were exactly four other Beans in the plane with her, probably excluding the one that had to be flying the massive machine. 

Despite spending the last few months with Ian, he still overwhelmed her at times. But this was something completely different, completely worse. She was surrounded on all sides by giants who could do anything to her. They could reach out and grab her, they could hurt her, they could kill her. They could eat her. 

Back when Ian first discovered her, Adelaide was worried that he might eat her, among other things. It’s what she was raised to believe. Human Beans ate borrowers. Later, once she admitted this to Ian, he laughed a condescendingly loud laugh. 

“Humans don’t even know you exist, for one. And even if they did,” he assured her, barely able to keep a straight face, “they surely would, um, not - not eat you.” 

Of course, she believed him now, but being this close to so many of them, all staring directly down at her, it was hard to keep that at the front of her mind. 

Adelaide remained frozen, save for her hammering heart and wide eyes. They continuously darted around, keeping all the Beans in her sight in case one of them made a move. It’s not that she didn’t trust Ian to keep her safe if anything were to happen, (even though that trust slipped a little when he pulled her out and presented her like some kind of show & tell trinket) but Adelaide and Adelaide only was responsible for keeping Adelaide safe. 

Her hands instinctively went to clutch the knife that always hung at her side, but it seemed as though it, along with her bag, was left behind in the pocket. Probably fell off in her battle against the probing fingers. Adelaide felt naked without that knife, and infinitely more defenseless. 

It was another moment before she realized Ian was talking to her. 

“Della. Say hi.” 

She whipped her head to look back at him, astonished that he was still following through with this, and when his face gave her no hints, she whipped it back around to look at the others, unable to make direct eye contact with any of them for more than a second. 

“Hi,” she said shortly, looking at the palm beneath her.

She tried not to let any of her nerves show, but out on Ian’s open palm like this, under such scrutiny, Adelaide couldn’t help but curl in on herself a little bit, arms clasped awkwardly in front of her. 

Ian let out a small, resigned sigh. That was fair. He shouldn't have expected anything different. 

The man sitting to Ian’s right finally broke the silence. 

“What is that?” he asked loudly. 

It was an innocent enough question. Adelaide couldn’t help but admire his forwardness. She smirked, even if she was mildly offended at being referred to as a “that”. 

“’That’, Gennaro, is...well, I’m not quite sure, actually. ‘That’ is something of a fascinating mystery that I have not been able to- to solve, but in essence, ‘that’ is uh...that is my friend. ‘That’ is Della,” Ian explained. 

While Ian showed off his ability to talk without saying anything, Adelaide tried to place where she heard this man before. He sounded familiar, but she didn't recognize his face, so he wasn’t a frequent visitor to Ian’s house. He looked a little ridiculous in his nice tan coat and matching shorts over skinny legs. His bewildered face made Adelaide laugh internally, until she realized that she and him were essentially staring each other down. She quickly looked away. 

Gennaro....Gennaro.... OH!  

*** 

Adelaide sat on the arm of Ian’s uncomfortable, impossibly hard couch, listening to the phone that lay on his chest, set to speaker for her to hear. Not that she’d ever participate, but she appreciated his efforts to include her.  

“You’re not gonna wanna pass this one up, Malcolm. It won’t take any time at all. Just one weekend in Costa Rica. Paid.”  

“Yeah, with a bunch of insufferable geneticists,” Ian muttered. He was sprawled out across the couch, resting his feet on his unbelievably expensive coffee table. His body gave off an air of indifference, but his mind was as alert as ever, the gears churning rapidly.  

“This may be huge. I’d hate for you to miss the opportunity to be a part of something so innovative, so...amazing.”  

“If it works.”  

“If it works. And if it doesn’t, no harm, no foul. You can do your thing, let them know how...wrong they were or whatever...You’d be doing me a huge favor, Ian. And you know you love the attention."  

Adelaide laughed and Ian shot her a look. “You do love attention,” she said. “And telling people off.” Her voice was too quiet to be picked up by the phone.  

Ian rolled his eyes as he responded to Gennaro. “Yeah, no, I - I do. Tell you what. Let me think it over. I’ll let you know soon.” Without waiting for a reply, he placed the phone back on the receiver and hung up.  

“Well, what do you think?” Adelaide ventured. She wasn’t quite sure where his head was at, but the thought of leaving, even for a few days, made her nervous. The possibility of literally anything happening when she stepped foot outside of the house increased by a million.  

“Oh, we’re going,” he said as he shot to his feet, his excitement evident. “Chaos is already oozing out of this- this 'park' and we haven’t even left yet. It’ll be unparalleled.”  

We.  

Adelaide gave him a shaky smile as he walked away. ‘We haven't even left yet.’  We are going. 

*** 

When Adelaide came back to the present, Ian had just finished his unintelligible explanation of what she was. 

“Ah,” was all Gennaro could say, clearly not understanding but wanting to let the subject go. 

“Can I say hi?” Ellie asked. The curiosity Adelaide noticed in her eyes earlier was stronger than ever, and her mouth hung slightly agape. She wasn’t talking to Adelaide though. She was asking Ian. Adelaide felt a bit miffed about that one - Ellie talked over her like she was some kind of pet. 

Ian shrugged, jostling Adelaide a little. It was all she could do not to fall over, but Ian said nothing further, indicating that it was up to Adelaide.

Ellie took that as her cue anyway, so she leaned in to get on Adelaide’s eye level. Though it was probably a normal speed for Ellie, it was much too fast and much too close for Adelaide’s comfort. She leapt back with a small yelp, causing her to fall onto her back. So much for not falling over. 

“Oh! I didn’t mean to startle you,” Ellie said in a voice that was a little too loud for Adelaide’s small ears, but there was no way she was going to cover them. She couldn’t look any weaker than she had already made herself appear. It was times like this where she remembered just how gentle Ian was with her, how often he slowed his movements or quieted his voice for her benefit. 

Ellie continued when Adelaide didn’t say anything. “But uh, I’m Dr. Ellie Sattler. I’m a paleobotanist. This here’s Dr. Alan Grant.” 

Alan was still in shock. He wasn’t quite sure what to say, so he tipped his hat toward Adelaide with an awkward, “How do you do?” 

“Oh,” Adelaide said. 

Stupid! Say something else! she thought. But nothing came. It was all too much, and she needed a moment to think. 

Sensing Adelaide’s uneasiness, Ellie prompted, “So your name’s Della?” 

That snapped her out of it. Adelaide hated that nickname. Nobody had ever called her that until she met Ian. He came up with the name not long after their first introduction and once he knew she didn’t like it, he never stopped calling her that. As time wore on, she corrected him less and less, and at this point it was almost endearing, but Adelaide was nothing if not stubborn. 

“Adelaide,” she said. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” She pointed her thumb back at Ian without turning around. 

This made Ellie laugh, and she was pretty sure she saw Alan chuckle too, even though she was only half-joking. At this, Adelaide’s shoulders released a hair of tension. 

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Adelaide.” Ellie said as she retreated to her upright position, once again too quickly (though her eyes remained trained on the small person), leaving Adelaide dazed and breathless. Beans moved fast. 

Directly across from Ian, an older man dressed completely in white held up his hands in a placating matter, startling Adelaide. He looked directly at her and said, “I don’t mean any offense miss,” He had a funny accent that Adelaide wouldn't be able to place if she tried. His gaze shifted up to Ian and Gennaro. “But neither of you told me you’d be bringing a guest on this excursion. She obviously won’t be any trouble, given her...well...her stature.” He gestured vaguely at her. Adelaide kept her eyes trained on those hands. “But I like to know who’s coming in and out of my park.” 

“You think I knew about this?” Gennaro protested. 

Adelaide did not like the thought of giants fighting over her, especially suspended in a metal box a billion feet above the ocean, but she didn’t need to worry. 

Before Ian could rise to her defense, the old man sighed. “No bother. Can’t change the past, can only move forward.” He gave Adelaide a smile that she forced herself to return. 

Ian’s palm started to move skyward, taking Adelaide with it. I guess he’s decided I’ve had enough socialization, she thought dryly. But his hand stopped by his shoulder, indicating he wanted her to get off. She complied, not because she wanted to, but because she didn’t want to fight with him in front of everybody, and she knew the pocket would just get hotter and stickier, amplifying her miserable attitude. 

She sat down hard with her back against his neck and her legs stretched out along his shoulder, facing the window of the plane. Though almost everybody could still see her, if she faced forward, Adelaide could pretend that they didn’t exist. Or she could at least try to. She’d be lying if she said she couldn’t feel all their eyes boring holes into her back. 

The giants continued for the rest of the ride mostly in silence, only punctuated by the occasional polite conversation about each other and about the island. Adelaide couldn’t bother to pay attention to any of it though. She was still furious at Ian, and she wished she could have just stayed home. 

Not one hour ago, Ian was the only Bean who knew she existed. Now there were five, and with the way the trip was going so far, more were probably on the way. Adelaide was mad, yes, but she was also scared, not that she’d admit it. Coming to trust Ian had taken a long time and a lot of things had to happen on his part before she even considered being near him. 

Adelaide was not afforded that luxury with these people. She did not know who they were or what their intentions were. They seemed nice enough, but she didn’t actually know them. Businessmen, lawyers, scientists, all with their own agendas. They could kidnap her, dissect her, sell her. But what Adelaide was most afraid of was what she had the least control over. They could talk about her. Her existence, and therefore the existence of borrowers, could be widespread news by the time this trip was over. Even Ian had next to no knowledge about her kind, and Adelaide wanted to keep it that way. She would have put her whole species in danger, and for what? Extinct animals? 

Adelaide’s ears perked up when she heard the old man say, “There it is!” 

Everyone turned to look at the sprawling green hills of Costa Rica. Just as she felt herself begin to calm down at the sight of the gorgeous, lush, peaceful landscape, the helicopter suddenly dropped a couple of feet, sending Adelaide into the air. She yelped as she crash landed back onto Ian’s shoulder. Though she luckily didn’t fall off, Ian’s hand was there in an instant, just in case. 

She appreciated the gesture, but remembered she was still supposed to be mad at him, so she batted at his fingers. “I’m fine,” she said, though the helicopter continued to jerk around with unpredictable movements. 

“Bad wind sheers,” the old man explained. “We have to drop pretty fast, so hold on. Cause it can get just a little bumpy." He buckled his seat belt as another big drop sent Adelaide flying again. 

“Probably best to get in the pocket,” Ian said. Adelaide hesitated. She wanted to put up a fight, but she might actually fall to her death if she wasn’t careful. So. 

“Okay,” she said, letting no emotion shine through.

Even if she wanted to protest, Ian’s fingers were suddenly there, taking up her whole view. He didn’t wait any longer before his fingers wrapped securely around her whole body, pinning her arms to her sides. A brief jolt of fear shot up Adelaide’s spine as his grip tightened more than usual. 

She squeezed her eyes shut. He’s not going to hurt you. It’s bumpy. He just doesn’t want to drop you.  

Adelaide felt herself shoved into the pocket. It didn’t have a flap or a button to close her in, so Ian held his hand firmly but gently over her body to keep her stable. 

Once again, she appreciated the gesture, but she couldn’t help feeling incredibly claustrophobic. It seemed as though the sweat she left behind from earlier hadn’t evaporated, rendering her time out in the fresh air useless. Now, with the temperature hotter, the humidity higher, and her nerves running high, the pocket became an unbearable bowl of Adelaide stew. Not to mention Ian’s hand pressed her into the fabric and into the wall of his chest. 

She couldn’t take it anymore. Adelaide shoved against his hand with all her might. She may not have been able to budge it on her own, but he’d definitely be able to feel it. Yet he refused to let up. 

She could hardly move, hardly breathe. Every breath she took fogged up the air even more, choking her. Trapped. I’m trapped. Adelaide needed to get out. Now.  

She shoved and shoved, using way more energy than she should have. Whether it was the panic attack or lack of oxygen or overexertion of her body, Adelaide’s eyes slowly fluttered closed as she passed out.

.

Next

[aziraphales-library]

hiiiiii do you have any recommendations for poetic/experimental fics in the middle of this trying tuesday? tysm!

Hello. I do not often partake in poetry myself, so I'd recommend browsing the #GOetry tag on tumblr and the GOems (Poetry by the GOAD Writers Guild) collection on AO3. I'm sure there are other things, but I can't remember or find them right now, hopefully our followers can share more resources. Here is some poetry that sounded interesting to me on AO3...

i have waited by ineffabildaddy (M)

I have waited for you, angel Under the stars on a clear night Thighs trembling around my own crooked fingers I have waited for you, also In the solace of my bedchambers Twisting silk sheets across my chest So they might soothe the ache beneath my ribs Or: Crowley ponders how he has waited for Aziraphale over the millennia.

to know is to covet by anna_bird (T)

A demon tries to mediate upon the chronology of his yearning, but gets distracted just thinking about it.

About embers and wind by Gladia_Delmarre (G)

Love is hard, especially if you see things in total opposite ways. Two short poems of how Crowley and Aziraphale experience love, and how they suffer from it.

A mockery of poetry (for lack of a better term, it is love I feel for you) by jesmalestiel (G)

A love poem from the journals of A. Z. Fell, Heaven's new supreme Archangel. — What are words? But promises we intend to keep Our love lost and buried in the deep,  Building the foundations of this we call our home Lonely and apart though we have roamed. Like crystal glass simmering in a lake, My longing for you never fades in its ache. What is love, if not an open door, leading my heart to join with yours?

I Lik the Pare by LemonMakesLimeade (G)

An angel named Fell takes a walk through the garden of Eden when he finds the snake demon Crawly. The pair share a pear, leading to an outcome neither could expect.... but that both can, in the end, appreciate. A fic written entirely in "My name is cow... I lik the bred" poems. "My name is Fell and wen its day I walk Eden and watch the clay"

Two Stories: Of an Angel and a Demon by orphan_account (G)

Series of poems, telling the stories of Crowley and Aziraphale through their point of view.

- Mod D

[eliotquillon]

HIVE BIRTHDAY BUNDLE 2024: LAURA BRAND (+ yellow)

picrew credit

Playlist:

(I don’t have Spotify so this is just a list of songs haha)

-Anthems For a Seventeen Year Old Girl (Broken Social Scene)

-Sweet Hibiscus Tea (Penelope Scott)

-Casual (Chappell Roan)

-ballad of a homeschooled girl (Olivia Rodrigo)

-You’re Not Good Enough (Blood Orange)

-Francis Forever (Mitski)

-Motion Sickness (Phoebe Bridgers)

-Ribs (Lorde)

-lacy (Olivia Rodrigo)

-Girl so confusing (Charli XCX)

-Not Strong Enough (boygenius)

-I Want You To Love Me (Fiona Apple)

-Racetrack (Beach Bunny)

-I Wait For You (Alex G)

-Two Slow Dancers (Mitski)

Fanfic:

one year later - 5.4k - a character study of Laura in the year between Bloodline and the epilogue. Obvious spoilers for bloodline. Rated T; brief reference to sex (seriously, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it brief)

Further prompts/headcanons:

-Laura and Wing have a competition to see which one of them knows Otto best; the loser has to tell Franz they want to be re-subscribed to his monthly email newsletter of Very Important Life and Fitness Tips

-Shelby convinces Laura they should get matching tattoos; what do they get?

-Laura once goaded Shelby, Otto and Wing into playing Drunk Poker with her, beat them all at poker, drank them all under the table, and still had no hangover the next morning. Obviously Shelby and Otto took this with grace and decorum and humility :)

-Laura’s a good cook, but hopeless at following a recipe, and once almost killed Nigel because she forgot to tell him about the peanuts she put in her stirfry

-AU where Laura is never caught hacking the nuclear early warning system, and ends up working for MI6 instead - do her and Otto still cross paths?

-Despite being great with computers Laura is actually terrible at video games and very embarrassed about it

-Laura likes a lot of ‘dad music’ - Rolling Stones, Oasis, Blur, Queen, etc - and this is a HUGE point of contention for Shelby when they’re on a roadtrip together

-Olympics AU - what sport does she compete in? (and why is it something horse-related)

-“I ran into Mandy McTavish the other day - you know, the girl who was spreading all those rumours about me - and you’ll never believe what she had to say…”

-The reason why Laura does so badly in all her vehicle simulator tests is because they make her VIOLENTLY motion sick; she’s a decent driver IRL, but Otto still refuses to get in a car with her

-Laura eventually helps Pike work on developing the third generation AI for HIVE 3.0 in exchange for a no-strings-attached IOU from Nero. What does she cash it in for?

Thank you so much Mitch (@dr-nero-is-god) for hosting!!

[snowyleopardess]

I don't have the confidence to write it, but eeeurgh I'm being haunted by skk daemon AU

No one at the ADA has ever seen Dazai's daemon, and he always gives 'mysterious' answers or jokes when asked. A lot of people just assume it's small, like an insect, and learn to ignore it. Sometimes interacting with Dazai can be hard, their own daemon awkwardly standing around, unable to connect their hearts. Every interaction with Dazai has a shallow feeling. He kinda creeps regular people out.

Chuuya's daemon never really seemed to suit him. Any time he met new people, there would always be a split second where they paused when they looked at chuuya's daemon. It wasn't scary or concerning, just...off somehow. Like a puzzle piece you can make fit but doesn't line up right with the picture right.

The thing is- Chuuya doesn't actaully have a daemon. Dazai left his daemon with Chuuya when he left. Chuuya doesn't even remember his daemon... if he ever had one. (more fuel to the poor guys' clone trauma)

I'm thinking crow for the daemon, very smart and capable animal, and it seems to suit Dazai.

But I've also thought of an... elephant. They're smart too, but also the sight of Chuuya using his gravity to float his daemon up to the window of whatever building he's in so they're not left out makes me want to cry laugh. You always know where Chuuya is because of the fucking elephant floating outside the building. Chuuya's even more powerful in this AU from constant practice floating the elephant and having to deal with more attacks because people always know where he is.

I've also thought of a bat, but more just because Chuuya would look so fucking cute with a bat hanging off his hat taking a nap.

Still not sure if the daemon should be male or female.

Dazai has always kept his daemon at arms' length, physically and metaphorically. He separated from his daemon at a very young age. Seeing dark era Dazai without a daemon made him even more terrifying.

Dazai hates his daemon. He never seemed to feel comfort from his daemons like others did, he never seemed to feel much of anything around them. His daemon could be even more stoic then him. Daemons were supposed to be beings of emotion, the manifestation of your heart. So Dazai resented them. In his worst moments, he even hurt his own daemon himself just to feel

s o m e t h i n g.

But Dazai was right- his daemon is the manifestation of his heart. His heart is just so hurt. It can't hide like the human half of him can. So his daemon is very quiet and avoidant. Dazai hates that vulnerability being on display.

But there are some times that Dazai feels through his daemon. And that's when Chuuya touches them so gently. Chuuya is absolutely fascinated with daemons because he never had one. Dazai was never one to uphold boundaries or social rules, so he practically goads Chuuya into touching his daemon after an accidental brush one time. He's reminded that he even has a heart, because it feels warm, not just numb. Chuuya loves his daemon so much. Chuuya's touch is so addicting its terrifying, but it chases away the crushing apathy for just a moment.

So when Dazai leaves, he leave his daemon with Chuuya. Chuuya's so panicked at first, what does it mean when someone gives you their heart but still leaves you?

So he loves and cares for Dazai's daemon like Dazai couldn't. And Dazai's heart and mind finally start to heal.