#fyi: that book is goddamn expensive

[postcards-from-here]

When the bad thing happening leapfrogs you past executive dysfunction; probably a one-(1)-use solution though.

Look, I'm not saying this is something you should try, but I found it interesting enough to share.

The Bad Thing was that I managed to accidentally iron two of my fingers today. This is what rushing to finish a sewing project with really.small.seams will do to you.

I was rushing because I wanted to finish the sewing (really really cute fabric book covers) and then have four or five hours to put together a decent application for a job I would love to get.

So when I heard that *sizzle* at about 5pm, all of my plans went to shit; and I was now someone who sat in front of the bathroom sink like one of those cats fascinated by a steady trickle of water; and then someone who was wrapping her fingers around as many ice-packs as mein host could produce from the freezer.

TOP TIP: fucking whisky stone things that you freeze and then use in your whisky/other expensive drink so it is not diluted by ice. Kinda wanky normally, but if you burn your hand? Goddamn brilliant, you can even use the little velvet bag to wrap them around your digits. And they get COLD.

My day became all about the Coldening of my fingers (which pretty quickly became a finger - the middle finger on my left hand, heh) and finding out what the latest was for first aid for burns (FYI - if the burn is larger than a 50c piece and/or brown - meaning deep and serious - keep it cold, get thee to Emergency toot sweet. If more pink and not too big, just the Coldening (water, ice packs) and apparently you can get topical cooling gels. And don't pop any blisters. And you can continue to do the Coldening over the next few days. Two scout leaders independently sent me this advice, so you know it's current and good).

The day/evening was effectively ruined. But by about 10pm, the burned finger had stopped hurting quite so much, and I could "use" it for typing (turns out being self-taught as a typist means I really don't use my left middle finger much, if at all) - ie I did not have to have it stuck in a bag of cold wanky drink stones.

And the application, which I had been dreading and putting off for days and days? It wasn't easy and it wasn't the best I ever did: but as the "worst" had already happened, I was surprisingly relaxed and upbeat about it, and no longer paralysed by indecision as I assembled it section by section.

Got it in with five minutes to spare (if you hadn't already guessed: I have all of the ADHD, and there are Traditions to be observed amongst my people) and now, I guess, we wait.

Again, not something I would recommend; but if you could find a less ouchy circuit breaker, could be worth a shot.

[darcyfirth]

"Do you think this book is good?" 💞

“Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?” Eggsy wiggled his eyebrows and paired it with a tiny boyish smirk for good measure. The man in front of him closed the book in his hands, which was open at a page showing several rare species of butterflies, and leaned back into his swivel chair, gaze stern and unrelenting. 

“Nope. Not that one. I’m halfway through my 50s and I can tell you, quite frankly, that the pick-up line you just used is years older than me. Try another one,” said Harry. 

Exasperated and a little bit embarrassed, Eggsy muttered, “We’ve been here for an hour, exhausting everything I know about dating and you still tell me nothing of that worked?” 

“Well, Gary dear,” began Harry, “when you came and asked me for help in “wooing,“” his fingers miming the air-quotes, “this particular person that you happen to fancy, you begged me to be as strict as possible.” 

“I know, I know. But how could every trick under the sun turn out to be useless?” Eggsy groaned as he took off his cap, sweat was making the hair on his head damp and he hated the feeling. 

Pushing the book away, Harry shifted forward with his elbows on his knees, face coming ever closer to Eggsy, he said, “Look, Eggsy. The problem here isn’t your experience, or maybe lack thereof, in the art of courting someone with a different background or social status from you. You’re charming and clever, I’d even say you’re more good-looking than most, and you have heart,” he patted Eggsy’s shoulder, “so if you know how to utilise your strengths, I’m sure that just about anyone would fall in love with you.” 

“Really?” asked Eggsy, breathless from the proximity. 

Harry nodded, “A bit of advice, instead of cheesy opening lines, how about you ask them about their interests? Show that you care, make it about them instead of you, let them open up first.” 

“That sounds reasonable,” Eggsy’s brain was working at full speed.

“Obviously,” Harry made to pick the book back up, but Eggsy was quicker and closer, the book sat firmly on his ex-protégé’s lap. 

“Say, Harry,” Eggsy started, eyes glued to the cover of The Butterflies of The Malay Peninsula, “Do you think this book is good? You keep re-reading it from time to time. Even brought it to work once.” 

Interest. Attention. Display of careful observation. 

“Of course it is,” Harry said. “It has a detailed life history of butterflies of the Malay Peninsula as well as amazing, undiscovered information about some of my favourite species.” His hand shot out to reclaim the book but was met with obstruction from Eggsy’s. 

“Care to show me?”

“I’m afraid it’ll bore you to death,” Harry laughed. 

“No, it won’t. In fact, I’d love to learn more about how you got to like these winged insects from the beginning,” Eggsy smiled a shy smile, twinkling blue-green eyes that almost got Harry lost for a moment. 

In the next hour, they sat there talking about nothing but Harry’s hobby with the occasional interjections from Eggsy, mainly more questions that kept Harry going even more in-depth about certain topics. 

“Okay,” Harry said, checking his clock on the wall and while feeling unsure about changing the topic, “but, forgive me for my bluntness, shouldn’t you be at home and planning the conquest of your mysterious beloved?” 

“Oh, don’t worry about that. It’s in progress.” The grin and half-moon eyes were a huge distraction to Harry, whose heart hadn’t quite recovered from the news that Eggsy had his eyes set on someone else and not him, not even close. 

“If you say so,” he shrugged. 

“By the way, have you got plans for the evening? I know this amazing Chinese place that just opened near here,” suggested Eggsy. 

Harry was befuddled, he was rarely anything less than informed, “Why don’t you ask them out there first?” Instead of me?

“I just want to hear your opinions. You know how I cherish them.” Eggsy’s face was resting on his palm, a picture of innocence. 

“Fine. We’ll leave in an hour,” the older man let out a long exhale, “I do hope after everything you put me through, your crush doesn’t turn you down. You know how I hate lending my shoulders, it messes with my shirts.” 

Hook, line, and sinker. 

“do you think” prompt fills        

[nearer-than-the-eye]

okay so. my tone is particularly impassioned in this post because this is my career. fyi.

if the poet is alive, BUY THE POETRY BOOK OR BORROW IT FROM YOUR PUBLIC LIBRARY. if they don’t have it, you can do an inter-library loan or request the library buy the book. if you have a university in your town you can usually get a library card for that university library (tend to have larger collections of poetry).

poets make so little goddamn money from our craft. we are already fighting for our lives to have ANY kind of relevance in modern literary discourse. if you love poetry so much STOP DEVALUING the REAL LABOR that goes into these collections. i know poetry collections can seem expensive in relation to their actual size, but that’s why i listed all those library resources! if you check a book out from the library, at least one copy of that book was bought at some point. if you pirate it, no book was ever bought.

if you want to read somebody who’s been dead for awhile—sure, pirate it. go ham. that book sale money is not going to that poet anymore. but if you want to read living poets, WHICH THAT DAMN LONG POST GOING AROIND WITH PIRATED COPIES OF COLLECTIONS SEEMS TO BE FULL OF, then buy it or borrow it. don’t steal it. there is no “poetry industrial complex.” just people who write poetry for love, because they know they’re never gonna make a living off of it.

and stop reblogging that damn post it makes me white out with rage every time i see it

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp These Are Books: the February 2021 Edition

Most of my last month was spent on deadline and waiting for people to respond to my emails, which meant I did not have the time (or energy) to write much of anything, but had plenty of time to read, quite frankly, an absurd number of books. Some of which were very good, some of which were very cheesy, and some of which I have now told multiple people was quite possibly the worst book I have ever read. As always, though, what are my opinions if I am not sharing them with the internet? Ridiculous headlines, links, and those aforementioned opinions under the cut. As always, part two, feel free to send me any and all recommendations. It cannot possibly be worse than this one book. Seriously, you’ll understand in a second.

———

Quite Possibly the First Book I’ve Gone Out of My Way to Buy On Release Day Since Breaking Dawn, Which Says a lot About Me. As a Person.

A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

Nesta Archeron has always been prickly-proud, swift to anger, and slow to forgive. And ever since being forced into the Cauldron and becoming High Fae against her will, she's struggled to find a place for herself within the strange, deadly world she inhabits. Worse, she can't seem to move past the horrors of the war with Hybern and all she lost in it.

The one person who ignites her temper more than any other is Cassian, the battle-scarred warrior whose position in Rhysand and Feyre's Night Court keeps him constantly in Nesta's orbit. But her temper isn't the only thing Cassian ignites. The fire between them is undeniable, and only burns hotter as they are forced into close quarters with each other.

Meanwhile, the treacherous human queens who returned to the Continent during the last war have forged a dangerous new alliance, threatening the fragile peace that has settled over the realms. And the key to halting them might very well rely on Cassian and Nesta facing their haunting pasts.

Against the sweeping backdrop of a world seared by war and plagued with uncertainty, Nesta and Cassian battle monsters from within and without as they search for acceptance-and healing-in each other's arms.

I’m not kidding when I tell you that I was counting the days until this came out. I was kind of indifferent to Nesta after the original ACOTAR books, but intrigued enough that I was like, I need to read this, and then I did read this and now I care quite a lot about Nesta. And how in love with Cassian she is. And vice versa. Because, let’s be honest, dude is in l o v e. There were some parts of the story I was not super into — namely, Ferye having to die in childbirth. Like, you’re telling me Cassian could have his guts hanging out at one point and we don’t know how to do a c-section? Nah, that ain’t it. Also, pregnancy as a storyline is not always my favorite thing, but more on that in a second. Also, also, here’s a bunch more words about ACOSF.

A “Huh, So That Happened” Sort of Ending. Which Was Disappointing.

A Vow So Bold and Deadly by Brigid Kemmerer

Emberfall is crumbling fast, torn between those who believe Rhen is the rightful prince and those who are eager to begin a new era under Grey, the true heir. Grey has agreed to wait two months before attacking Emberfall, and in that time, Rhen has turned away from everyone--even Harper, as she desperately tries to help him find a path to peace.

Fight the battle, save the kingdom. Meanwhile, Lia Mara struggles to rule Syhl Shallow with a gentler hand than her mother. But after enjoying decades of peace once magic was driven out of their lands, some of her subjects are angry Lia Mara has an enchanted prince and a magical scraver by her side. As Grey's deadline draws nearer, Lia Mara questions if she can be the queen her country needs.

As the two kingdoms come closer to conflict, loyalties are tested, love is threatened, and an old enemy resurfaces who could destroy them all, in this stunning conclusion to bestselling author Brigid Kemmerer's Cursebreaker series.

I loved the first book in this series. Absolutely adored it. So much so that I pretty quickly got the second one and read it. Enjoyed that on its own, but like I said in that one ask, I’m fairly certain A Curse So Dark and Lonely could have very easily been a standalone story. Should have been a standalone story? There was just SO MUCH going on here, and not nearly enough of it was resolved. Plot points just hung by the end of the trilogy, I was not ever entirely convinced Rhen and Harper were actually in love, let alone liked each other, and I thought Rhen got the very short end of an exceptionally cracked stick by the time the whole story wrapped up. Really, I think this  tried to do too much in not enough time and there should probably be another book. Also Lia Mara getting pregnant was dumb. There I said it.

Free Books On Amazon Unlimited That Were Better Than Expected, But Also Read Like Fic

The Bargainer Series by Laura Thalassa

Everyone knows that if you need a favor, you go to the Bargainer to make it happen. He’s a man who can get you anything you want … at a price. And everyone knows that sooner or later he always collects.

Callypso Lillis is a siren with a very big problem, one that stretches up her arm and far into her past. For the last seven years she’s been collecting a bracelet of black beads up her wrist, magical IOUs for favors she’s received. Only death or repayment will fulfill the obligations. Only then will the beads disappear.

But for one of his clients, he’s never asked for repayment. Not until now. When Callie finds the fae king of the night in her room, a grin on his lips and a twinkle in his eye, she knows things are about to change. At first it’s just a chaste kiss—a single bead’s worth—and a promise for more.

For the Bargainer, it’s more than just a matter of rekindling an old romance. Something is happening in the Otherworld. Fae warriors are going missing one by one. Only the women are returned, each in a glass casket, a child clutched to their breast. And then there are the whispers among the slaves, whispers of an evil that’s been awoken.

If the Bargainer has any hope to save his people, he’ll need the help of the siren he spurned long ago. Only, his foe has a taste for exotic creatures, and Callie just happens to be one.

No one is going to be able to convince me this wasn’t ACOTAR fan fic. I don’t care about timing or dates, or whatever. The similarities just...did not stop. In all three books, even. There were three books in this series, by the way. Most of which I really enjoyed. I read them all in like four days of email waiting, so they must have been doing something right. Des was a good love interest and I really liked the flashbacks in the first book. Also Callie didn’t super annoy me. That being said, whoever edited this book. Oof. Some of the prose was so goddamn cringe, I literally lol’ed. Right out loud. Every now and then it was like we had to be reminded that Des was a BAD GUY ™ but it felt very Edward “I’m a killer, Bella” Cullen, and Callie’s internal monologue was occasionally hysterical. Not in a good way. Also Temper was the worst. She was so annoying. Every time she talked, I was like, oh, her again. The first book was the best one.

HITTING ALL MY ROM COM BOXES! BASEBALL! ROMANCE! PINING! ONLY VAGUELY UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN THEY HAD SEX IN THE PORT JEFF DUGOUT BECAUSE I’VE BEEN IN THE PORT JEFF DUGOUT.

Fix Her Up by Tessa Bailey

Georgette Castle’s family runs the best home renovation business in town, but she picked balloons instead of blueprints and they haven’t taken her seriously since. Frankly, she’s over it. Georgie loves planning children’s birthday parties and making people laugh, just not at her own expense. She’s determined to fix herself up into a Woman of the World... whatever that means.

Phase one: new framework for her business (a website from this decade, perhaps?)

Phase two: a gut-reno on her wardrobe (fyi, leggings are pants.)

Phase three: updates to her exterior (do people still wax?)

Phase four: put herself on the market (and stop crushing on Travis Ford!)

Travis Ford was major league baseball’s hottest rookie when an injury ended his career. Now he’s flipping houses to keep busy and trying to forget his glory days. But he can’t even cross the street without someone recapping his greatest hits. Or making a joke about his… bat. And then there's Georgie, his best friend’s sister, who is not a kid anymore. When she proposes a wild scheme—that they pretend to date, to shock her family and help him land a new job—he agrees. What’s the harm? It’s not like it’s real. But the girl Travis used to tease is now a funny, full-of-life woman and there’s nothing fake about how much he wants her...

Living her best life means facing the truth: Georgie hasn’t been on a date since, well, ever. Nobody’s asking the town clown out for a night of hot sex, that’s for sure. Maybe if people think she’s having a steamy love affair, they’ll acknowledge she’s not just the “little sister” who paints faces for a living. And who better to help demolish that image than the resident sports star and tabloid favorite.

Legit, I saw the description for this and I was like—did I write this? Kind of. (Shameless plug to read my own rom com, it also has baseball and pining) It didn’t matter, I loved it. Seriously, it hit all my rom com boxes: childhood friends, best friend’s sister, coming back home under duress, FAKE DATING and, let’s be honest, I am not immune to the use of “baby girl” as an endearment. Every time Travis called Georgie “baby girl” I was like, oh, ok, this is cool. It was cool! I only have two quips. One, that the fake dating didn’t last a little longer. The pacing of the story felt very quick, but that’s also this genre’s style. So I kind of get it. And two, that it happened in Port Jefferson, which is a town in Suffolk County that I have not only been to, but have spent significant time in. Meaning I could picture every single thing, knew exactly where they were and have used the exit on the Northern State Parkway that the final moments of the book took place at. The Port Jeff girls basketball team won a Long Island championship last weekend. In real life, not the book.

In Which Spinoffs Continue to be my Kryptonite. Especially Well-Written Ones

Mistletoe and Mr. Right by Sarah Morgenthaler

Lana Montgomery is everything the quirky small town of Moose Springs, Alaska can't stand: a rich socialite with dreams of changing things for the better. But Lana's determined to prove that she belongs...even if it means trading her stilettos for snow boots and tracking one of the town's hairiest Christmas mysteries: the Santa Moose, an antlered Grinch hell-bent on destroying every bit of holiday cheer (and tinsel) it can sink its teeth into.

And really...how hard could it be?

The last few years have been tough on Rick Harding, and it's not getting any easier now that his dream girl's back in town. When Lana accidentally tranquilizes him instead of the Santa Moose, it's clear she needs help, fast...and this could be his chance to finally catch her eye. It's an all-out Christmas war, but if they can nab that darn moose before it destroys the town, Rick and Lana might finally find a place where they both belong...together.

I mentioned The Tourist Attraction in my January list, and this is the second in the Moose Springs trio. And it’s so good! I wish people were all as nice to Lana as Rick was. It’s what she deserved! More small-town antics, more kissing, another moose. This one was just as cute as the original book, especially because it brought back original characters and Zoey and Graham were so goddamn adorable as a committed couple I genuinely feared for the state of my teeth.

Enjoy the View by Sarah Morgenthaler

Former Hollywood darling River Lane's acting career is tanking fast. Determined to start fresh behind the camera, she agrees to film a documentary about the picturesque small town of Moose Springs, Alaska. The assignment should have been easy, but the quirky locals want nothing to do with River. Well, too bad: River's going to make this film and prove herself, no matter what it takes.

Or what (literal) mountain she has to climb.

Easton Lockett may be a gentle giant, but he knows a thing or two about survival. If he can keep everyone in line, he should be able to get River and her crew up and down Mount Veil in one piece. Turns out that's a big if. The wildlife's wilder than usual, the camera crew's determined to wander off a cliff, and the gorgeous actress is fearless. Falling for River only makes Easton's job tougher, but there's only so long he can hold out against her brilliant smile. When bad weather strikes, putting everyone at risk, it'll take all of Easton's skill to get them back home safely...and convince River she should stay in his arms for good.

Wrapping up the Moose Springs trio, this one might have been my least favorite, but that’s not really saying much. Since I loved them all pretty equally. River and Easton’s banter was grade-A, top-notch, which is a one-way ticket to my reading-heart. Maybe part of the problem (I say problem like there really was one) was that most of the story took place on a mountain. I kind of wanted more small-town shenanigans, and updates on the condos and the state of the town and Graham being mayor. Still, this was very cute. I swooned multiple times. I’ll probably read anything Sarah Morgenthaler writes from here on out.

Seriously, What Is YA? Does Anyone Know?

The Beautiful by Renee Ahdieh

In 1872, New Orleans is a city ruled by the dead. But to   seventeen-year-old Celine Rousseau, New Orleans is a safe haven after   she's forced to flee her life as a dressmaker in Paris. Taken in by the sisters of the Ursuline convent in the middle of the carnival season,   Celine is quickly enraptured by the vibrant city, from its music to its fancy soirées and even its danger. She becomes embroiled in the city's glitzy underworld, known as La Cour des Lions, after catching the eye of  the group's enigmatic leader, Sébastien Saint Germain.

When the body of one of the girls from the convent is found in Sébastien's own lair--the second dead girl to turn up in recent weeks--Celine battles her attraction to Sébastien and suspicions about his guilt along with the shame of her own horrible secret.

After a third murder, New  Orleans becomes gripped by the terror of a serial killer on the  loose--one who has now set Celine in his sights. As the murderer stalks  her, Celine finally takes matters into her own hands, only to find  herself caught in the midst of an age-old feud between the darkest  creatures of the night, where the price of forbidden love is her life.

Like I said last month, I put a hold on pretty much everything Renee Ahdieh had written in my library. And this was just as good as the last series I read. Her world building is just—chef’s kiss, gorgeous. I dream of writing this airy, magical way, that makes you feel like you’re in New Orleans. That being said, I do not know what kid is reading this because apparently this is YA and I had to read every single word to figure out what was going on. Now, I know there are two more books in the series, but this one felt like a lot of set up and I spent most of it being like...will this make sense eventually? It did, but only during a very rushed climax of final few chapters. The sequel isn’t available on Kindle at the library, and I haven’t bought it yet. So, that’s probably kind of telling.

In Which You Cannot Always Depend On Old Favorites

No Judgments by Meg Cabot

When a massive hurricane severs all power and cell service to Little Bridge Island—as well as its connection to the mainland—twenty-five-year-old Bree Beckham isn’t worried . . . at first. She’s already escaped one storm—her emotionally abusive ex—so a hurricane seems like it will be a piece of cake.

But animal-loving Bree does become alarmed when she realizes how many islanders have been cut off from their beloved pets. Now it’s up to her to save as many of Little Bridge’s cats and dogs as she can . . . but to do so, she’s going to need help—help she has no choice but to accept from her boss’s sexy nephew, Drew Hartwell, the Mermaid Café’s most notorious heartbreaker.

But when Bree starts falling for Drew, just as Little Bridge’s power is restored and her penitent ex shows up, she has to ask herself if her island fling was only a result of the stormy weather, or if it could last during clear skies too.

I love Meg Cabot. That should be stated upfront and at the very beginning because for a very long time I have claimed that being Meg Cabot was my dream job. I’ve read pretty much every book Meg Cabot has ever written and was fairly certain I’d be into these once I did read them. Only I was...not. Not really. Everything in this book happened so quickly, I felt like I was the one in the hurricane. People were kissing and then they were having sex and there was a storm and pets and then—it was over? The pacing was all over the place, I had no idea why Drew and Bree liked each other, some guy kicked a dog at one point?? It was weird. Which leads us to—

No Offense by Meg Cabot

A broken engagement only gave Molly Montgomery additional incentive to follow her dream job from the Colorado Rockies to the Florida Keys. Now, as Little Bridge Island Public Library’s head of children’s services, Molly hopes the messiest thing in her life will be her sticky-note covered desk. But fate—in the form of a newborn left in the restroom—has other ideas. So does the sheriff who comes to investigate the “abandonment”.  When John Hartwell folds all six-feet-three of himself into a tiny chair and insists that whoever left the baby is a criminal, Molly begs to differ and asks what he’s doing about the Island’s real crime wave (if thefts of items from homes that have been left unlocked could be called that). Not the best of starts, but the man’s arrogance is almost as distracting as his blue eyes. Almost…

John would be pretty irritated if one of his deputies had a desk as disorderly as Molly’s. Good thing she doesn’t work for him, considering how attracted he is to her. Molly’s lilting librarian voice makes even the saltiest remarks go down sweeter, which is bad as long as she’s a witness but might be good once the case is solved—provided he hasn’t gotten on her last nerve by then. Recently divorced, John has been having trouble adjusting to single life as well as single parenthood. But something in Molly’s beautiful smile gives John hope that his old life on Little Bridge might suddenly hold new promise—if only they can get over their differences.

This isn’t a sequel SEQUEL, but another one of those “exists in the same universe,” or same town, as it were, and it was better than No Judgments. Molly and John actually had a few legitimate conversations before they started kissing. The conflict was still weird and sort of forced, this was not Meg’s usual banter (I fell like I can call her Meg at this point, y’know?) and, again, the ending just felt like it...happened. I don’t know guys, maybe I should just reread The Boy Is Back. Or that quasi Persephone-Hades series. It’s been awhile. On that one, at least. I read The Boy Is Back like six months ago.

ABSOLUTELY INFURIATING ROM COM THAT I CANNOT BELIEVE I FINISHED, SOMEONE GIVE ME A PRIZE FOR FINISHING THIS

Fight or Flight by Samantha Young

The universe is conspiring against Ava Breevort. As if flying back to   Phoenix to bury a childhood friend wasn't hell enough, a cloud of   volcanic ash traveling from overseas delayed her flight back home to   Boston. Her last ditch attempt to salvage the trip was thwarted by an   arrogant Scotsman, Caleb Scott, who steals a first class seat out from   under her. Then over the course of their journey home, their antagonism somehow lands them in bed for the steamiest layover Ava's ever had. And  that's all it was--until Caleb shows up on her doorstep. 

When pure chance pulls Ava back into Caleb's orbit, he proposes they enjoy their physical connection while he's stranded in Boston. Ava agrees, knowing her heart's in no danger since a) she barely likes Caleb and b) his existence in her life is temporary. Not long thereafter Ava realizes she's made a terrible error because as it turns out Caleb Scott isn't quite so unlikeable after all. When his stay in Boston becomes permanent, Ava must decide whether to fight her feelings for him or give into them. But even if she does decide to risk her heart on Caleb, there is no guarantee her stubborn Scot will want to risk his heart on her...

When I tell you guys that this was the worst book I have read in recent memory, I am not kidding. Might actually be the worst book I have ever read. Bar none. And that’s saying something because one time I had to read Ender’s Game in college and that, like, physically pained me. This was awful. Awful people. Awful plot. Awful resolution. AWFUL. Where to start? Well, I’m not going to apologize for spoilers, because God help us all, do not read this book. Ava has been through so many horrible things in her life it was like someone was trying to set a record. Bad parents, cheating ex-boyfriend, dead former best friend who was former because of the cheating ex-boyfriend. Naturally, this made her a control freak because—of course, or something. And Caleb! Oh my God, fucking Caleb Scott. The dickwad. I’ve never rooted for anyone to not get the girl more. When Ava “broke up” with him (they were never really together) I might have cheered. Shitty things does not give you an excuse to be a dick, and Caleb was a dick. Seriously, he started crying about how his ex-fiance KILLED THEIR BABY and I was like—this cannot possibly be a real book. It was! With lots of abortion opinions out of FUCKING nowhere, and weird possessive behavior from, like, every dude in it. Both Ava AND her best friend (not the dead one, a different one) got assaulted at one point. I kept reading solely because I was desperate to see how they rationalized Ava and Caleb getting back together at the end and they didn’t. He showed up on her flight when her boss came up with a fake work trip so he could sit next to her on the plane. What? WHAT?? It was so dumb. So bad. I can’t believe I read it. 

[holy-mountaineering]

2019, Year of the Wand.

So, several of you know me in some "real life" (or not online anyway,) so you know this crap, sorry. For those who don't, here's my plan(t)s for the so-called "New Year" if you put any validity into the commonly used and terribly inaccurate calendar I speak of...

EDIT: HOW DID I FORGET: PUBLISH THE TAROT BOOK! It's a whole new ballgame for Tarot when this comes out. A fresh approach that is pretty goddamn needed in the muddy "everything is belief and feelings!" world of bullshit occultism occupying both Tumblr doot comma and pop culture in general. Hey, people might even read the book after buying it!

-I quit the bar (with the good vegetarian food) and got a fancy hotel job that pays higher than anything I've done (legally) in my life. It's also Night Auditor position in an "interesting" part of San Francisco, so stories and cryptids.

-This job is in addition to my very firm position as Innkeeper at a historic "Painted Lady" (see: Full House (terrible TV show stateside) where I basically live half the time, hanging with a variety of spirits in a location that looks like a Vincent Price movie set. This year I'm going to try to get jazz acts to play here, since I've been everywhere else in the music industry...

-More events at the Thrice Great Ouija Club! A bi-monthly (like yours truly) event to showcase folks working on new magick projects as well as music!

-Anyone who's ever seen me speak knows I'm better at public speaking than I give myself credit for and I need to do more of it

-Ancestor Work. Never done it before and won't talk about it much on here, but I'm excited about feeling like I'm in a place to talk to anyone I'm related to, dead or alive

-More Alchemy, more science, more nice equiptment to use for those purposes

-My garden (I know a garden in San Francisco! I also have a backyard! And basically live downtown!?!?!) will become more imbued with magick and I'll plant MORE herbs! My 4 year wormwood is amazing, fyi

-The Anarchist Accountant just gifted me a fuckin expensive Cannondale racing bike that I will soon be riding all over San Francisco to be a healthier person who sits next to demons on the bus less...

So, that's a glimpse into my life right now. I'm also gunna start DJing at my old bar job with a 1960s-80s occult themed set! I'm sure there are loads of other things I'm excited about but that's a bit! I wish for (pretty much) everyone to have an excellent New Year and may you be granted the accomplishment of your True Wills!

[landofwordsandfrogs]

ok o im gonna make?a nother goddamn list. im a person who does lists. im sorry.

FYI A DOLLAR IS MORE OR LESS 3,3 REAIS for who it interests lmao

LIST OF...FISH: more or less. BC I WANT TO BUY ANOTHER BETTA IN NOVEMBER.

rn i have about 700 reais in my account. i need to pay my sis in law 68 for buying all her harry potter books, i owe my friend 15 bc she paid for my pizza some weeks ago, and i owe this same friend 50 reais from a con like a year and a half ago ( @arcodeprata BECA I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN I PROMISE) also owe dad 100 bc he insisted on buying part of my bettas things and i refuse to not pay him back D:<<<<

il pay for my friends stuff when we next go out for japanese food (part of those 65ish reais) and tell dad to only deposit 100 of the 200 that he usually deposists (so more or less 30 dollars outta the 60 dollars he deposists every month) 

SO 700-68 (hp books)= 632; 632-HoweverMuchTheJapaneseFoodEndsUp = 550 im guessing lmao; 550+100 (dad; 100 instead of 200) = 650

so 650 is what ill have at the end of march. 

out of those 650, i have to buy some stuff for naturos filter (dunno how much, am guessing 30 reais), and a water testing kit thing, which is more or less 50. so thats,,,, no hurry tho. thats 80 reais tho. to keep in mind. theres also transport costs from  bc uni starts again in marchhhhhh.

The Plan!!!!!!! is to buy the filter in juneish and keep it cycling in naturos tank. i already found a place to buy that charges 2/3rd of what i paid for naturos :3 its abt 50 reais. anyway. thikning

filter - 50

heater - 75

tank itself - 150

gravel - 15

gen deco - 40

light - bleh naturos was 70, but ill put 120 bc i thhhhhhhhhhhink thats what the fancier one cost and......................whatever

thermometer - 15

betta itself - uhhhhhhhhh.......... imma put 100 bc.....better to be prepared.............

so thats .......515........... thinking that this is assuming i buy the fancy light instead. oh yeah also

orange neocaridina shrimp - 100 

so thats 615 for everything for fish lmao. out of those 615, wanting to set up the tank in september so it can cycle, i can put the shrimp, and buy the betta in november... ill need everything by august-september, the shrimp by october, and the betta november~~

thats 415 till august. thiknign that even if i get ZERO art commissions or ghostwriting jobs ill still get 200 from dad every month, counting from march on, ill have 5 months (counting the whole of august, but none of march) to save 415 reais, which is 83 reais a month/21 dollars a month out of the 200reais/60smthdollars.

BUT ALSO. out of the 650 we calculated ill have by the end of march, im separating 350 to send my friends stuff on the mail, which is expensive as shit. so thats 300. i want to start putting money in a savings account more or less, so if i put 100 of those 300 in the savings acc, ill have 200 reais to do whatever i fucking WANT in march before i start saving 83 reais a month till august. actually scrap that, ill save 83 of those 200 in march bc im NOT gonna spend all that money lmao. means ill have 415 by july instead, of that ill be able to save 415 in 6 months instead of 5, which is then 70 reais instead of 83!!! like this plan.

so thats 70/200 a month for fish, which leaves 130 for everything else every motnh till end of august. separating 40 for uni and 40 for savings, thats 50 for me every month. whatever i dont use for myself can go to fish, whatever i dont use for uni can go to savings.

i LIKE this plan.

fuck i forgot the 50 for the water testing kit up there. fucking hell.

GOD ILL CONTINUE THIS IN ANOTHER POST