#future of oncology.
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cancer-researcher · 2 months ago
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punksarahreese · 2 years ago
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I’m not gonna say Valentina’s a bitch but also Ava would rip her to shreds
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naprodgroup · 2 months ago
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unamused-kookaburra · 2 months ago
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I have three days of education starting tomorrow to learn about chemotherapy, a subject I have zero interest in, in preparation for my next six month placement in a cancer outpatient clinic where the only things I'm looking forward to is the regular hours and no ADLs, pray for me
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jcmarchi · 10 months ago
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Get empowered, not overpowered by GenAI
New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/get-empowered-not-overpowered-by-genai/
Get empowered, not overpowered by GenAI
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Dr. Tina Manoharan, VP and Global Lead of Data/AI & Digital Innovation at Philips, gave this presentation at the Generative AI Summit Boston in 2023.
I’m super passionate about using data science and AI insights to make a difference in people’s lives every single day.
Generative AI can create content that resembles human content, and this is what we’ve also been looking at in healthcare. Can generative AI be used by patients and caregivers to interact with our solutions in ways they haven’t been able to do before? 
Generative AI opportunities in healthcare
Healthcare is one of the top areas where we expect a huge investment in generative AI. That’s because there’s a huge disease burden. Whether it’s cardiology, oncology, or neurology-related, there are so many possibilities where we can all make a big difference.
If you look at the areas where generative AI is starting to come into play for healthcare, there’s a lot of focus on documentation and summarization use cases and other areas like workflow automation. But what we’re also looking at is whether we can build companions for patients and physicians as clinician-facing and patient-facing solutions. 
The deeper you go into clinical areas, the stricter the regulations are, so it takes time to build robust solutions.
As Dr. Robert Pearl said, ‘ChatGPT will become more important than a stethoscope in the future,’ and physicians who want to undertake high-quality practice will use ChatGPT or other similar generative AI tools now and in the near future.
But does it mean that this might become the scenario when we’re visiting GPs or physicians in the future? I hope not. I hope we’re not sitting there waiting for them to see what ChatGPT has generated for them. 
At the same time, I hope that we can trust the solutions aren’t going to scare patients away. 
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txbanjarahills · 1 year ago
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Unlocking Precision Medicine: Top Treatment Kachiguda TX Hospital's Tailored Approach to Cancer Care
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In the pursuit of advancing cancer care, the future is an ever-expanding horizon, filled with possibilities that hold the promise of transformative therapies. At Top Treatment TX Hospital, we stand at the forefront of this frontier, dedicated to exploring and implementing cutting-edge therapies that go beyond the conventional boundaries of oncological treatment. For further information or inquiries, please reach out to us at 9089489089
Unveiling the Future:
In this blog post, we embark on a journey into the future of oncology, where groundbreaking therapies are reshaping the landscape of cancer treatment. At [Top Treatment TX Hospital], we recognize the importance of staying ahead in the quest for more effective, targeted, and personalized approaches to care.
Precision Oncology: Tailoring Treatment to the Individual
One of the cornerstones of our approach is precision oncology. We understand that each patient is unique, and their cancer journey deserves a tailored strategy. Our team of experts utilizes advanced genetic profiling and molecular diagnostics to identify specific genetic alterations driving the cancer, allowing us to prescribe targeted therapies that offer enhanced efficacy with fewer side effects.
Immunotherapy: Empowering the Body's Defense Mechanism
Immunotherapy represents a paradigm shift in cancer treatment, and [Top Treatment TX Hospital] is at the forefront of this revolutionary approach. By harnessing the body's immune system to recognize and combat cancer cells, immunotherapy opens new doors for patients, providing hope where conventional treatments may fall short. Join us as we delve into the success stories and ongoing research initiatives that define our commitment to immunotherapeutic advancements.
Gene Editing Technologies: A Glimpse into the Future of Treatment
As we peer beyond the horizon, gene editing technologies emerge as a promising frontier in oncology. [Top Treatment TX Hospital] is actively exploring the potential of CRISPR and other gene editing tools to precisely modify cancer-related genes, offering unprecedented possibilities for targeted interventions. Discover how these technologies are paving the way for groundbreaking treatments with the potential to revolutionize cancer care.
Patient-Centric Innovation: Putting Individuals at the Heart of Treatment
While our focus is on pioneering technologies, we remain steadfast in our commitment to patient-centered care. Hear directly from patients who have experienced the impact of these future therapies and learn how [Top Treatment TX Hospital] combines cutting-edge science with compassionate support to guide individuals through their unique cancer journeys.
A Call to the Future: Stay Tuned for Ongoing Discoveries
This blog post is just the beginning of our exploration into the future of oncology at [Top Treatment TX Hospital]. As we continue to push boundaries and seek new possibilities, we invite you to stay tuned for regular updates, in-depth insights, and stories of resilience that define our commitment to advancing the field and providing hope to those facing a cancer diagnosis.
The future is bright, and at Top Treatment TX Hospital, we are navigating the uncharted territories of oncology with a vision of better, more effective, and personalized cancer care.
TX Hospitals is one of the best hospitals in Kachiguda, Uppal, and Banjara hills with the largest healthcare facility and the best team of doctors and specialist surgeons to help patients recover fast from health ailments.
Book an Appointment with the Best Doctors in Hyderabad.
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artisticdivasworld · 1 year ago
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The Future of Nursing
Hey there, fellow nurse! Let’s chat about what’s in store for our profession in the coming years. It’s going to be quite a ride! First off, we’re going to see a lot more tech in our day-to-day work. Think artificial intelligence, telemedicine, and electronic health records. We’ll need to get really good at using these tools, not just for patient care but also for things like data analysis and…
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ecomehdi · 1 year ago
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Unveiling the Battle Against Pancreatic Cancer: HDAC Inhibitors in Focus 2023
Welcome to the fascinating realm of battling Pancreatic cancer, where scientific warriors are deploying innovative strategies against a formidable foe. In this journey, we delve into the promising domain of HDAC Inhibitors and their extraordinary potential in piercing through the fibrotic shield that often obstructs conventional treatments. Understanding Pancreatic Cancer Let’s begin our…
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rahulcmi · 1 year ago
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Cancer Vaccines Market Regional Analysis And Future Outlook 2022-2028
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The global Cancer Vaccines Market has been a focal point of extensive research and development, poised to witness significant growth in the period from 2022 to 2028. This projection is rooted in a comprehensive regional analysis that takes into account various factors influencing the market's trajectory across different geographical areas.
North America, as a frontrunner in cancer research and innovation, is expected to maintain its dominance in the Cancer Vaccines Market. The region boasts a robust infrastructure for clinical trials, a well-established healthcare system, and a high prevalence of cancer cases. Furthermore, strong government initiatives and investments in research and development are likely to propel the market forward. The United States, in particular, stands as a major contributor to the growth, with its prominent pharmaceutical companies driving advancements in cancer vaccine technology.
In Europe, a similar trend is anticipated, given the region's emphasis on healthcare advancements and substantial investments in cancer-related research. Countries like Germany, France, and the United Kingdom are anticipated to play significant roles in shaping the market landscape.
The presence of key market players, coupled with increasing awareness and adoption of immunotherapy-based treatments, is expected to bolster Cancer Vaccines Market Growth in this region. The Asia-Pacific region presents a compelling picture of growth potential. Rapidly developing economies, increasing healthcare expenditure, and a burgeoning patient population are expected to drive demand for cancer vaccines. Countries such as China, Japan, and India are projected to contribute significantly to market expansion.
Government initiatives to improve healthcare infrastructure and rising focus on personalized medicine are additional factors that will likely fuel the market's growth in the Asia-Pacific region. Latin America and the Middle East & Africa are also expected to witness steady growth, although at a slightly slower pace compared to other regions. These markets are characterized by evolving healthcare systems, rising disposable incomes, and an increasing awareness of advanced cancer treatments. The gradual adoption of innovative therapies and the expansion of pharmaceutical networks in these regions are expected to drive the demand for cancer vaccines over the forecast period.
The future outlook for the Cancer Vaccines Market from 2022 to 2028 is promising, with significant growth opportunities across diverse regions. Advancements in technology, increasing investment in research and development, and a growing emphasis on precision medicine are set to redefine cancer treatment paradigms. However, challenges related to regulatory approvals, high development costs, and complex manufacturing processes may temper the rapid expansion of the market.
The global Cancer Vaccines Market is poised for substantial growth in the forecast period, driven by a robust regional landscape. North America and Europe will continue to lead the way, while Asia-Pacific showcases immense potential for growth. The market's future outlook is positive, with ongoing research and development endeavors paving the way for innovative and effective cancer vaccine therapies. As the medical community increasingly recognizes the potential of immunotherapy in cancer treatment, the cancer vaccines market is expected to witness transformative changes in the years to come.
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marryp · 2 years ago
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oatmealwrites · 12 days ago
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Initiation
nsfw [FRAT JJK AU] CHOSO X F! READER
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Hematology Student! Frat Brother! Jealous! Choso x Grad Student! Reader
Synopsis: It's Yuji's pledge initiation and you've been dragged out to the JJK function to celebrate the fact he's a full member now. Of course the main reason you want to go is to see the one man completely off limits: Yuji's brother Choso. With alcohol flowing and music playing, maybe he'll admit the only reason he comes to these parties is the off chance you show up
NSFWWW (porn with plot LMAO, mdni) Roomate Suguru, slutty Satoru, mentions of alcohol, oral [m receiving], oral [f receiving], female anatomy, she/her pronouns, p in v, unprotected, creampie, aftercare, yuji is a cockblock, helpless pining, jealously, established relationship at the end
this is a LONG ass fic but I had wayyy to much fun writing it hehehe [i wanna keep doing fics like this in the future too]
Word count: 12.8 k (LET ME COOK OK)
Masterlist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Papers scattered, Red Bulls empty, and lofi playing in the background, it’s one of the rare evenings Suguru joins you at the shared kitchen table to study for an exam. Silently, you pass snacks and drinks to each other, only looking up from your content material to stretch the ache building in your back muscles. On any other Thursday night Suguru would leave you, his roommate, alone in the shared apartment for a ‘chapter meeting’ and return late in the night to continue his studies alone in his room while you stayed in the same position hunched over the wood table for hours on end. 
A comfortable silence lingers between the two of you, each too focused on your separate exams to make small talk, but enjoying the atmosphere of not studying alone. It’s a routine that occurs several times a week, and one of the rare occasions you’re actually productive. Eventually the lofi playing on the tv in the living room hits an ad roll and you both take it as a moment to break from the material.
“God this exam is going to be the end of me… remind me why I chose oncology as my specialization again?”
“Pretty sure it was just because Satoru persuaded you to stay in the same med field as him-”
He kicks your shin from under the table and laughs with as much emotion as he could muster given the 3rd hour of review you’ve begun. You weren’t in the same field as Suguru, hell not even the same school of study within the university, but that didn’t stop you from spending hours together reviewing material in a shared state of depression.
“Speaking of which- Satoru’s on his way over.”
Suguru scrolls through his phone mindlessly and pushes back from the table to clear some of the empty snack wrappers that littered the kitchen. You lean back in your chair and frown at him, “Huh? I thought your stupid chapter thing was cancelled.”
He takes a moment to step back from the running sink and flicks some water at you with a smirk, “Ok it’s not stupid, it’s called loyalty to a frat.”
“Yea more like cult-”
He splashes you again, laughing at the way you shriek and desperately try to protect your notes from the potential water damage.
“Ok Ok fine, frat. But why is he coming here anyways?”
Suguru dries his hand on the cheap kitchen towel you bought together when you both moved in and slides his phone off the counter to check his messages again; his other hand runs through the long dark hair he’s let hang freely down. 
“Hmm, not sure. He said he’d be here in 10 minutes roughly an hour ago… so that means-”
There’s a quick courtesy knock at the door before the sound of the spare key turning the lock clicks and the wood swings open. Satoru saunters in, no backpack with him, and shuts the door before pulling out a chair, throwing his coat somewhere on the floor, and sitting like he is a third unannounced roommate. 
“Hey~”
Suguru opens the fridge and slides him a canned soft drink before walking around to sit back in his original spot.
You don’t mind him, but you do mind the fact this small 15 minute study break could very well turn into a 90 minute one if he plans on staying a while. 
“Hey, what are you doing here? No exams to cram for?”
He slides off the sunglasses covering his eyes, even though it’s 6pm, and rests his chin in his hand, letting strands of milky white hair swing idly. 
“Nah, not into all that stuff-,” Suguru and you exchange a tired look, “I’m actually here to collect my vice president.”
Suguru sighs and leans his head to the side, making no effort to hide the exhaustion on his face, “Seriously, Satoru? What do you need me for? Chapter’s cancelled this week to prep for the pledges’ final initiation.”
“That’s why I need you! Nanami is holding the frat treasury hostage as we speak– without your override we won’t be able to pay the downpayment on the rental house.”
There’s a twitch in your eyebrow at the conversation. Nearly all your friends were involved with Greek Life in some sort of way, but the frat JJK was infamous for their extravagant parties. Most likely the white haired man’s fault for his expensive taste in renting out a house for each function- finding it easier to simply pay the damages and cleaning fees than actually take care of the property. 
“I’ll go with you to Haibara’s, but that’s it Satoru.”
You snap back into the conversation between your roommate and his best friend for the last few sentences, “Suguru and I planned on a delivery order while we studied. Do you wanna come back here with your bag afterwards and join us?”
Satoru breaks the pleading look on his face and turns to you with an airy laugh, “I already said exams aren’t really my thing, I don’t really like trying that hard. Besides,” he puts a hand on his friend’s shoulder, “I’ll probably be borrowing him for a few hours anyways~”
Suguru shakes his head and stands up to head over to the coat rack and flip through the jackets before sliding on his winter coat. Satoru follows suit and stands up but doesn’t leave the table’s edge; instead he admires your burnt out state. Hair sloppily thrown back, one of Suguru’s undergrad sweatshirts, comfy pants that are nearing 4 years old, and skincare done but no makeup applied. 
“You should come.”
“What?”
Satoru makes no move towards his jacket and stays looking at you, “You should come to this party once I get Nanami to approve the budget.”
You stay motionless for a few seconds, already knowing your answer of ‘no’ before the sentence can form on your tongue. 
“That’s not her vibe Satoru, you know that,” Suguru wraps a dark scarf around his neck and tosses the puffer jacket towards his friend. 
“Still, it would be good to get you out of the house.”
A small ‘V’ is formed by the scrunching of your eyebrows as you watch the man now finally shimmy the coat he threw on the floor back onto his shoulders.
“I do leave the house for your information. I actually go to class and regularly study at the library in addition to meeting with my thesis professor.”
Satoru lifts his hands and rolls his eyes dramatically, “Oh my, what a great social life you got there. At this rate I’m sure the space between your thighs has grown cobwebs.”
“Hey!”
“Satoru-” Suguru warns his friend with a slight shove. 
He raises his hands in defense but turns back to you, “ok my bad, rude wording. But still, you need some stress relief,” he snaps his fingers, “or sex relief.”
Suguru smacks him again while Satoru is too busy laughing at his own joke before pulling up the zipper on his jacket. You stand and turn to the fridge, trying to avoid letting the truthfulness of the commnet get under your skin. You’ve gone on dates before, mostly with assholes who never get a second one, but it’s not like you were actively trying to stay single, just no one caught your eye.
Ok that’s a lie.
In all honesty nearly every member of that stupid frat was painfully attractive, but the one you couldn’t help thinking about was the only one totally off limits: your best friend Yuji’s older brother. 
God even thinking about him was enough to make you lose focus as you dug around in the fridge for another energy drink. Dark hair pulled back, a scar? No, birthmark? Tattoo? Across this bridge of his nose, and a body you’re sure is sculpted from marble. To top it off he never once made you feel uncomfortable or objectified like half the members of the frat did when they flirted at parties. Nope, he was a total gentleman who always put his brothers first and never asked for anything in return. 
Suguru brings his index finger under his chin in a silent thought while Satoru rubs the spot on his arm where he was just punched.
“Come to think of it, when was the last time you brought someone home?”
An apple from the refrigerator flies towards both of them, but Satoru catches it with ease and begins to howl with laughter. Suguru laughs a little, though less mockingly than his friend, “you know I wouldn’t mind having to give you a noise complaint once in a while.”
“BOTH OF YOU-!”
The two men continue their laughter and torment, making your frustration only grow inexplicably bigger as you watch. 
“Alright well,” Satoru wipes a tear from his eye and opens the door to slide the spare key back under the welcome mat, “Wish us luck on getting this party approved! See ya later babe~”
Suguru gives him one last push before waving off and shutting the door behind him while you sit alone at the kitchen table now listening to the subtle lofi continuing to play in the background. It’s lonelier but not unfamiliar as you collect your papers and organize them into your backpack, unable to focus in the apartment anymore. 
It would be impossible to face Yuji at this moment, too caught up in the terrible thoughts about his brother infesting your brain. Instead you slide out your phone and click on Megumi’s contact before hitting ‘dial’. There’s a dial tone that rings three times before a gruff voice mumbles out a short ‘hello?’. 
“Hey it’s me! Wanna go to the campus library?”
*******
A few days go by and most evenings are spent alone in the apartment with Suguru being dragged by Satoru to finalize purchases for the now approved function. Nanami and Haibara gave the green light on the rental house, but it left a majority of the budget unable to cover the steep alcohol costs. Not that any of it would deter Satoru of course: being heir to his family’s extremely successful private hospital left him swiping his metal black credit card without a second glance at the final price, purchasing enough alcohol to stock an entire bar. 
This Wednesday night is like many of the others you’ve had this semester so far, sitting in the campus library with Megumi and Toge reviewing projects, editing thesis papers, and cramming content before exams. The three of you work silently, sipping on to-go coffee cups and listening to music playing in your respective headphones. Occasionally a ‘ping’ from Toge texting you memes causes a slight break to giggle at his antics, but they’re short lived and the three of you continue working again. 
“Hey guys!” “See? I told you they would be here!”
Yuji and Nobara stroll up, dressed casually and without any backpacks in tow. The three of you at the table exchange a quick glance before sliding chairs over and making room for them to sit. 
“You have to come Y/N,” Yuji whines while shaking your arm back and forth in a pleading manner, “You literally never attend the functions.”
Any attempt to continue reviewing your lecture notes is thrown out the window by now as Yuji continues to shake your arm with vigor.
“Yuuuji. Why do you want me to come to this one so badly?”
“It’s my first party as no longer a pledge! I can finally get drunk with no one to drive home and no repercussions. You. Have. To. Come.”
He shakes your shoulders now with each word while Megumi shrugs his shoulders at Nobara who is attempting the same conversation on him.
“You’re on attendance probation for missing too many social events Megumi, you have to attend.”
“I don’t even wanna be in this frat anyways, wouldn’t probation be beneficial to me?”
Toge leans across the table, already deciding he was indeed going to the party and carpooling with Yuta to the function; he gives Megumi a confused look silently before Nobara explains.
“His dad is a legacy member, so he was basically born to be in the frat,” she turns to Megumi, “It’s also highly unlikely you’ll ever be kicked out too- with that idiot Satoru as your big, he’d never let you drop.”
Megumi rolls his eyes and huffs, looking at you in exhaustion and longing to continue studying already. Yuji continues shaking you until you’re able to pry his hand off your shoulders for a moment, a small headache forming from the yelling.
“Ok ok, shush please! I don’t wanna get kicked out.”
He dulls his whines to whimper.
“I’ll go ok? But who else is even going to be there?”
Yuji breaks into a grin and Nobara nudges Megumi to indicate he has to come too, otherwise he’d be the only person not attending.
“It’s the pres and vice pres of course, Nanamin, Haibara, Shoko, Todo, Choso, -”
The list of names grows but you stop listening after Choso’s name is mentioned, the sound of it bringing your heartrate up immediately.
“Choso..?”
“Huh? Oh yea,” Yuji pauses and grins, “He’s always been set on staying sober during my pledge time with me, so now he can finally get shitfaced with us!”
It’s the type of thing you’re not surprised to hear, Choso being so supportive of his brother and even voluntarily having mediocre Friday nights just to keep him company. He’s been to your apartment a handful of times before, studying for medical exams with Suguru and Satoru when they took shared courses in Hematology, his own specialization. He never came over empty-handed, bringing energy drinks and snacks, and even staying after to clean up any mess they had made.
Every time you would come back from the library or leave your room and see him sitting at your kitchen table like he belonged there, like it was the most natural sight to see, it was enough to make you a stumbling idiot. The scent of his cologne would linger in the air hours after he left, and despite being so collected, he would always text you when he inevitably left something behind. It started out as a pencil case, then a scarf, and now even his sweatshirts had all been left accidentally and only returned when he would call you the next day and offer you coffee in exchange for the forgotten items. 
It’s bad. So fucked up to even think of him like this. This is Yuji’s half brother and now full frat brother– pull yourself together. 
Yuji continues talking but the only thing running through your mind is the image of Choso’s hair when he lets it down in concentration, the image of his biceps flexing as he slings his heavy backpack on his shoulders and waves you goodbye, or the way his thighs strain against the fabric of his jeans-
“Is that plan ok with you?”
You blink and snap back to reality, now noticing everyone staring at you expectedly and waiting for your response. Yuji points to his phone, open to a message from Suguru aimed at you, “Suguru told me to let you know he wants your help setting up the house on Friday since you’re coming.”
“You already told him?”
Yuji blinks, “Yea I told the group chat…”
A sigh escapes your lips and any excuse now to bail at the last second has dissipated. “...alright.”
****
Steam rolls out of the bathroom door and you use the edge of your robe to swipe away the fog of the mirror,feeling fresh after a grueling ‘everything shower.’ Suguru grunts a small, “finally” before ushering you out of the room so he can piss. 
Stepping out into the living room and pivoting into your room, music can be heard in the kitchen, likely Satoru’s doing to fill the silence while he works on packaging liquor bottles and decorations into cardboard boxes.
Skincare, haircare, and lotion on, you rummage through your closet for clothes. On your bed sits a variety of party outfits, though all holding very different vibes. Jeans and cropped shirt were a bit too basic given the ‘initiation’ Yuji kept talking about, and the mini dress seemed too formal considering it was technically still a frat party. 
You shuffle through a variety of tops until you settle on black opaque tights under a black miniskirt and an off-the-shoulder tight long sleeve top. The outfit is slutty enough for a frat party but cute enough for a first date if you wanted to recycle the look in the future. 
Taking your makeup bag off your dresser and stepping into the living room, you notice the sound of running water from the bathroom.
“Hey! I thought you were just gonna take a piss!”
Suguru can’t hear you or the knocks on the door, but Satoru wolfishly laughs from behind you. Cutting your losses, you place the makeup bag on the kitchen table and slide a few boxes over to make room for you to spread out. Without looking at Satoru and using the compact mirror that came with your blush, you begin applying products. 
“I didn’t know you cleaned up this good Y/N.”
“That’s because you never actually see me outside of this apartment,” you grumble, now pressing powder to set your foundation.
Satoru shrugs and continues filling boxes with an array of liquor bottles, but lowers the volume on his phone to make the conversation easier, “Well if I had known, I would’ve made some moves on you sooner.”
You roll your eyes at his exaggerated smile and now focus on applying eyeliner without skimming the surface of your cornea. Before Satoru can thickly lay on another pick up line, Suguru steps out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist and snuggly tied just below the ‘V’ line of his pelvis.
You don’t bother looking up, having seen this sight a million times before, and instead you raise your eyebrows dramatically to apply a thin layer of mascara on your bottom lashes. Suguru whistles at your appearance and steps into his room to throw on a t-shirt and jeans while Satoru slides the last few bottles into the final box.
You click your compact shut and zip up your makeup bag, satisfied with your look, and slide your lipgloss into your purse to reapply later. Suguru enters the room and counts the boxes, silently working out in his brain how this would all fit in an Uber with the three of you.
Satoru saunters up next to you and shrugs with a slight wink, “Well if you want those cobwebs cleared out for you I don’t mind helping. Take a quick ride to the party~?”
“That’s my roommate, asshole.”
Suguru nudges him in the rib cage and slides the remaining decorations of strobe lights and speakers into an oversized IKEA bag, waiting for Satoru to help. The white haired man laughs and shrugs with a light ‘worth trying’ mumble before Suguru shoves him again. 
You slide on a pair of chunky docs and sling your purse over your shoulder before grabbing Suguru’s phone from the table.
“Hey– Uber’s here.”
The three of you lift as many boxes as your strength allows and make your way down to the apartment lobby to load them into the trunk of the SUV. It takes 2 trips up and down with all three of you carrying boxes until the back is completely filled and the driver looks between you uneasily. Suguru shrugs and sends a few messages to the other brothers while the driver pulls out of the apartment complex and heads towards the rental house; glass bottles clinking with every turn.
You’re squished between Suguru and Satoru, giving a slight nudge to the flirtatious man on your right.
“Hmm? Can’t keep your hands off me already?”
“Ugh, just make sure to tip this guy extra once the ride is over ok?”
Satoru nods and smirks into a shit eating grin, “Of course~ now is there any tip you were hoping to get too-?”
“She’s. My. Roommate. Asshole.”
You laugh lightly and sink into your seat, pulling out your phone and messaging the small group chat with Yuji, Megumi, Toge, Maki, and Nobara that you were going to be setting up the house soon. 
******
The rental is huge, fitting the extravagant nature of the man who protested so badly to have it and confirming that Nanami’s hesitation for the budget was completely valid. Boxes filled with alcohol sit on the marble kitchen island while Yuta and Toge work filling coolers with ice and assorted beer bottles and Maki and Nobara stock the freezer with handles of vodka and tequila. 
You let out a whistle and do a quick 360 in the room, taking in how the boys have already shoved the sofa and loveseats closer to each other to make room for the pong table Megumi and Yuji were setting up. The house is an open concept with the entire first floor connected except for the staircase leading up to the second floor bedrooms and bathroom. 
“Alright, speakers are set up and lights are all working– are the drinks nearly finished?”
“Yep,” Maki shuts the freezer door and turns to Nanami with a thumbs up, “All done!”
Satoru claps his hands and looks around the crowd, “Alright remember– no normies unless we actually know them OR they can name at least 5 brothers. Keep the ratio good, yea?”
The group mumbles a response and breaks up to complete the last few touches, Haibara dims the lights and Suguru sets up his music playlist to the speakers, already queuing a few songs that Shoko recommends him to play. A group of you decide to take a few pre-game shots to loosen up and then split to finish up preparations before anyone arrives.
You walk up to Yuji and help arrange the red solo cups in a pyramid formation on the folding table, “Where’s your brother?”
“Hm? Oh! Choso and Todo are picking up Maki’s sister and a few others. Should be here shortly.”
Yuji is buzzing with energy, excited to get the night started as more pledges begin to trickle in and assist with the final preparations. After a while Haibara officially cuts the overhead lights and turns on the ambient strobes while Suguru increases the volume on the speakers; after another 30 minutes the house is fairly packed with everyone now dancing and drinking. Enough alcohol is coursing through your veins to feel relaxed and warm, but not enough to make you irrational. 
You grab a drink from the kitchen and admire the party, giggling with Nobara as Yuji is already borderline shiftfaced and yapping Megumi’s ear off despite the speaker next to them deafening every word.
“Should we stop them?”
“Nah,” Nobara laughs into her drink and points at Todo who’s walking over to the two of them, “I think it’s about to get good.”
“My brother! How can you claim you’re officially a brother when you are unable to win a single game of pong?”
Yuji turns to him confused and Megumi takes this as his opportunity to escape with Nobara following after him and laughing hysterically.
“What does pong have to do with being brothers…?”
“My best friend–” A single tear threatens to fall from Todo’s eye as he grasps a metal chain necklace longingly, “If you can’t increase your skills to win a single game we can’t possibly stay friends. A brother of mine would never be complacent with their mediocre skills!”
Whatever energy Todo emits is enough for Yuji to yell out his passion for improving in beer pong and the two take to the folding table to begin a game. Yuji misses the first few shots, but sinks two in after a few turns and evens the game.
“Geez, they’re really going at it huh?”
The voice is deep and rumbles loud enough through the music to immediately indicate it’s Choso’s. He stands tall next to you, giving you a slight smile and dragging his eyes up and down your outfit before coughing lightly and turning his attention back to the game.
“Oh yea.. Ha! They really are quite passionate.”
There’s a comfortable silence as you stand side by side and watch the game unfold, giggling at their dramatic reactions and downing the liquid in the cups when their adversary sinks one. 
“I’d want to go in there and help him but…” Choso scratches the back of his head awkwardly, the dark hair cascading down instead of being pulled back into his usual hairstyle, “It’s a rite of passage I suppose for this frat.”
You have to physically peel your eyes off the man to avoid staring any further, his hair sexily falling around his face, dark piercings in his ears reflecting the strobing lights, and the powerful body standing idly and awkwardly at your side. The conversation isn’t out of place or forced; the nature of it makes you regret not coming to more functions if it meant you could've been this close to him the entire time.
He looks into his cup and takes a big drink before continuing, wincing slightly from the burn of alcohol, “You know I’m actually glad you came– I know you usually don’t go to these sorts of things.”
A blush warms your cheeks and you look at him for a moment before sheepishly laughing, “Ah yea... Usually school takes up so much of my time. I’m surprised you noticed considering how busy frat life and med school can be.”
“-Of course I noticed!” 
He looks around awkwardly and shivers slightly at his outburst before attempting to save face, “I mean you’re one of Yuji’s best friends… he always mentions how bummed he is that you aren’t around..”
You blink and swallow thickly, “right…” of course Yuji would be the one actually wondering why you didn’t show up, “I feel bad about letting him down.”
Turning back to the game of pong, you miss the way Choso cringes hard at himself, completely unable to rephrase the sentence into admitting how he was actually the one who would look for you at every party and stand in a corner moping when he realized you didn’t show, waiting until his brother was ready to go home. Instead, he downs the rest of his beverage and turns back to you, “Would you like a drink? I can grab us another and then we can continue the conversation–?”
You turn back to him and look at your own empty cup, it’s a bad idea to continue but you don’t want the conversation to end just yet. Even if Yuji is standing right in front of you both, and can plainly see the way you're hopelessly staring into his brother's eyes, you didn’t want this moment to end.
“Yea, I’d like that.”
Choso smiles lightly at the opportunity and takes the plastic cup from your hands, “Something sweet but not too sugary, right?”
Your insides melt when you nod and he walks off into the kitchen while your eyes stay focused on his ass for just a moment too long to be casual.
“Hey~ enjoying the party pretty?”
An arm is slung around your shoulders and the mix of cologne and tequila sunrise is enough of a scent indicator to know it’s Satoru who’s gripping you so close. 
A sigh leaves your lips but you don’t make an effort to move, watching Yuji miss his shot while Todo scrambles to try and pry the ping pong ball from where it rolled under the couch.
“Sure, it’s actually kinda fun.”
“Kinda?”
“I’m not giving your ego anything else besides that,” you shrug his arm off and he feigns a wound from the action before laughing and taking a sip of his own drink.
“Talk to anybody yet hmm? My offer of stress relief still stands if you strike out– I’ll keep the door open for ya if you ask nicely~”
You roll your eyes and arms cross at your chest, you deadpan at him, “Seriously, Satoru?”
He shrugs and raises his hands up in defense, “It’s just a casual offer, for real. Suguru is your roommate and we’re friends– I’m not trying to make things awkward.”
“You already are.”
You and Satoru swing to see Choso carrying two red cups tightly, with his fingers bending the plastic, and approaching with an unamused scowl. Satoru lets out a low whistle and chuckles to himself before leaning into your ear, “Alright you got your relief plan sorted out.. Guess I’ll look elsewhere.”
He stands up and gives a nod to Choso before turning over his shoulder and waving off, yelling Suguru’s name to skip the current song.
Choso watches the man walk off until he disappears into the crowd before he slips a cup into your hand and looks at you concerned, “You alright?”
You take the drink and smile lightly at him, noting the way his shoulders are tense and eyebrows are knit together, “Yea, I’m alright. Thanks.”
He breathes slightly before his eyes shoot open wide and he brings his hands up apologetically, “I hope I didn’t misread that then… if you are interested in Satoru I completely understand,” he looks back at Yuji’s game now speaking quieter, “Don’t let me ruin your plans.”
It takes a few blinks before you sink into the exact meaning he was hinting at and you instantly raise your hands in defense and embarrassment, “NO!”
A few people look in your direction and you pull Choso down closer by the fabric of his band t-shirt, his height towering over you regardless, “I mean.. Trust me, I don’t like Satoru like that. We’re buddies.. Not romantic at all.”
He examines you for a moment and looks back into the crowd nervously where Satoru had walked off, “But physically?”
You lock eyes with him and your lips widen in slight shock before you gently shake your head, “No. Nothing like that.”
He holds your gaze for another moment before smiling gently and standing back up, he takes a sip of his drink, “I’m glad. I was worried I made myself look like an ass there for a minute.”
“You never could.”
He glances back at you with a pink dust on his cheeks, looking into the liquid of his cup once again and releasing a shallow breath of relief. There’s an unspoken tension building between the both of you, though you can’t tell if it’s all in your head or in your pants.
The familiar heartbeat feeling pulsing in your panties and you opt for downing half your drink and watching the stupid exchange of ping pong balls instead. Choso rocks idly and shimmies from side to side to let people continue past him, making no effort to move from the spot by your side despite the lull in the conversation. 
He takes another long sip, some alcohol dripping down from the corner of his mouth and trailing down his neck eroticaly; you watch his Adam's apple bob as he swallows, consumed in the way he looks. Choso wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and takes a deep breath with a pitiful smile on his face when he turns to you.
“You know I couldn’t help but worry. I know you don’t always come to these parties, and I was worried that my one shot to have you alone was already taken by someone else.”
His eyes are focused on only you and his voice is raw with a rare vulnerability, his cheeks dusted pink with embarrassment and heat from the alcohol. Your heart rate picks up exponentially and you stare at him openly, not even caring if Yuji can see the way you look at his brother. 
Before you can issue a response, Nobara scuffles past the back of Choso effectively knocking him forward and spilling the remainder of his drink all over your shirt. Nobara offers a short ‘shit’ before getting pulled through the crowd by Maki towards the beer cooler on the patio.
Choso’s eyes are wider than you’ve ever seen and his eyebrows furrow as if he could cry from frustration and disappointment. His hands twitch as he quickly drops the empty cup and carefully approaches you, worrying this would be the moment you yell at him to leave you alone and never speak to you again.
“I-I’m so sorry… Y/N.. I didn’t..”
The words die in his throat as he watches you look down at your shirt in surprise and slight disgust at the sticky feeling of alcohol coating your chest. You place your drink on a nearby table and pull the fabric from your stomach to examine the damage.
“It’s alright! Really…” you bite the inside flesh of your cheek with your molars and gnaw on it, wondering how to get the stain out.
Choso gently steps closer and reaches out to take your hands gently, “Here– let’s go to the bathroom. Let me help,” he looks at you with pleading eyes, “Please.” 
You nod once and he leads the way to the stairs, gently slipping between bodies to clear a path for you to step through and ascend the stairs. Leading you down the hallway, he enters the second door on the left into an empty bathroom and shuts the door promptly behind you. 
His hands rush for the faucet while you dig around on the linen shelf to pass him a washcloth; he tests the water’s temperature before raising the cloth to your shirt.
“It’s not too hot right? Not burning at all?”
“No, I’m alright.”
You’re leaning against the counter, feeling the vibration of the bass from the music playing beneath you shake the marble countertop. Choso’s touch is gentle, though his hands shake from nerves and the acute drunken state he’s in; his face is full of self-loathing. 
“Choso.”
He’s kneeling down in front of your torso delicately working on the stain and tilts his head up longingly as soon as his name leaves your lips, “Yes?”
Tongue running over your bottom lip for a moment, you place your hand on his to stop his actions and get his full attention, your own mind still reeling.
“Why did you want to get me alone then?”
He blinks and looks back down at the fabric of your shirt gripping the folds slightly, “Oh.. that?” He looks dejectedly at the stain and frowns harder. 
With a sigh of defeat he keeps his head down for a moment, “I thought I was being so obvious… 
I offered to study at Suguru’s apartment because I thought maybe you’d be home, and always stayed sober with Yuji during his pledge phase just in case you called one night and needed a ride…” he releases your shirt and closes his eyes, “I always wanted to get a moment alone with you to tell you how I felt– but I fucked it all up didn’t I?”
His face is contorted in frustration and self-deprecation; nearly acting in a trance you gently lift your hands to cup his face and pull his attention back to you. He looks back up into your eyes longingly and full of vulnerability, he says nothing as you pull him to his feet and look between his eyes and then his lips. 
Not wasting a single second you slide your hands from his cheeks to wrap around the base of his neck and pull his lips in to meet yours. Choso doesn’t waste a single second either, sighing lightly through his nose and bringing his hands to the plush of your waist. His fingers dig imprints into the flesh on the back of your hips while his thumbs press lightly into the bones of your pelvis.
His lips are nearly glued to yours, tilting his head to the right to allow the kiss to deepen and increase the force he pushes behind it. Your hands tangle in his hair, gently pulling at the raven strands and scratching his scalp while occasional gasps escape his mouth. Moans escape between the both of you, drowned out to the rest of the party from the music, but nearly deafening to the two of you. 
With one more tug of his hair, his tongue gently swipes your bottom lip and without a moment of hesitation you part to allow access. The action has some lip gloss rub off on the flesh of his upper lip, though Choso takes no moment to stop, instead he lifts his left hand to tilt your head further to the side and push his tongue into your mouth. 
The muscle is warm and tastes like a light beer; he takes his time to swipe it along the tip of your own tongue before pushing it deeper. You groan his name and try to pull him even closer to you if it were possible, sighing as he swaps between messy open mouth kisses and closed ones that allow your lips to mold into one. 
With another push of his tongue in your mouth you taste the beer once again but also the sensation of something cold and metal. It takes you a minute to figure out what you’re feeling, the cool orb rolling against your tongue and occasionally clinking onto your teeth when he pulls back. 
Taking a slight breath, he dips his head down in the crook of your neck and breathes deeply while whispering your name, enjoying the moment before he begins to bite and suck along the flesh. You sigh at the feeling and can feel your senses overloading, the heartbeat in your ribs and panties, the scent of his cologne, and the hot tongue running down your neck being cooled by the little piercing in the middle.
“You didn't.. Aahh,” you swallow lightly, “didn’t tell me you have… a tongue piercing…”
Choso groans a response but doesn’t pay attention, nipping at a particular spot just beneath your jaw where his nose tickles the flesh under your ear, “right.. Here?”
His lips suck onto the flesh and his teeth pinch the skin while you squirm beneath him in pleasure; his hand leaves your head and hips to now push you firmly against the counter to keep you still. Choso’s actions are relentless, running his tongue flat across the flesh and letting the metal piercing cool the spot before he continues bullying it. 
“It’s gonna nnngh, leave a mark-”
“-Good.”
Choso remains buried in the corner of your neck but he lifts his lips from the angry purple bruise to speak, “I’m tired of the way everyone stares at you all the time– fuck even Maki and Shoko looked you up and down a few times tonight.”
You run a hand through his hair and pull at the scalp to lift his face to you. His pupils are blown wide with desire so dark it seems the iris is pure black and his shoulder sag with every pant he takes to catch his breath. Despite it, the timid and awkward demeanor remains hidden for a moment, “I want people to know who you’re here with.”
He leans down to kiss the purple hickey, “Not Suguru.” kiss.
His lips trail to the pulse point on the opposite side, “Not Satoru.” kiss.
Lips hover right above yours a moment before he connects them, “Me.”
You push him back gently and Choso’s facade nearly breaks when he thinks you’re trying to make distance and tell him he’s got the wrong idea. Instead, you spin to push him flush against the counter and drag his face back to meet yours in another kiss. 
Instinctively his hands rest on your waist as if they were made for him and he attaches his lips against yours like second nature. Sighs escape him every time your nails gently scratch his scalp and tug at his hair and when you drop your arms lower there’s nearly a whine in disappointment. 
Instead, you run your hands flat down the front of his chest, feeling the swell of his chest rise with each breath and trail down to gently feel the outline of his abdomen muscles with the pads of your fingers. Airy breaths escape more frequently, as Choso fights the urge to escalate things even further. 
With a featherlight touch and without ever breaking contact from his lips, you skim the hem of his shirt and gently graze the flesh underneath. Choso feels like his body is on fire at every touch you make and his grip on your hips intensifies, the heartbeat in his ears louder than the music blaring from outside the bathroom.
His abs flex subconsciously with your touch, and you can’t help the arousal growing in between your thighs as he begins to grind into you. Back arched to keep the angle of his tongue exploring your mouth, your hands dip back down to his navel and run through the course happy trail leading into his jeans. With gentle precision, your fingers dip just the tiniest bit lower to skim the seam of the denim and lightly play with the brass buckle of his belt. 
Choso pulls his mouth from yours before grabbing your hands in his own to pause your efforts, panting in between each word. “Are you sure? I don’t want to rush you…”
His eyes are sincere and there’s never been a moment in your life you’ve been more sure of than this, “I’m sure Choso. I want to do this with you.”
He continues breathing until his lungs steady out again before running a hand through his hair with a frustrated look on his face, cheeks still red and puffed from the intimacy of the situation.
“Yea but… Look don’t get me wrong I want this to happen more than anything,” he pauses and scans your face before continuing, “and I know I’m gonna hate myself for stopping here but.. I don’t want something just casual or physical with you. I think… I think it would kill me if you only saw me as a one night stand when you’re so much more to me.”
His hands sweat as they hold yours, and his eyes search yours for any sign of reciprocity, and the whole situation is so sweet you could cry. After so many assholes and douchebags, his words are enough to make your knees weak from only kissing.
You remove your hands from his and before his eyes could portray the heartbreak about to happen from the action, you pull him back in to meet your lips, “I want the same thing Choso. I do.”
He pulls away to see your face, but you connect your lips again between each sentence, “I almost feel bad for all the times I invited Yuji out to things because it meant I could see you.”
Choso lets out a chuckle of relief and connects your mouths again with longing before you pull back to continue, “I want this.” Kiss.
“I want you, Choso.” Kiss.
“All of you… and not just for tonight.”
He swallows thickly and his Adam's apple bobs again, pupils still blown out as you kiss his lips one last time before sinking just a bit lower onto the plush bath mat. Your hands fiddle with his belt again, and this time he doesn’t stop you, letting you slide it out of the loops of his jeans and toss it onto the floor without care. Chaste kisses go down his navel, your nose tickling the hair that pokes out right about the seam of his boxers before sinking down just a bit further. 
His hands grip the countertop with enough force his knuckles turn white from the pressure, “ohh fuck Y/N.” 
Your fingers trail just a bit lower, spreading the fabric of the zipper fly open and letting his erection push out into the air, only restrained by the thin material of his boxers. He stares at you intently, watching the way you trace the outline of the small liquid patch of precum forming as his hips twitch in anticipation. 
You meet his gaze and drink in his disheveled and eager appearance before facing his erection again. Placing a few chaste kisses to the tip of his cock that’s now pushing past the fly of his boxers, he sucks in a wince and jerks his hips forward subconsciously in search of some sort of friction. 
After a few more kisses, you look back up to him with a nod and raise your fingers to the elastic of the band and seam of his jeans. Hooking your fingers under the fabric and pinching it with your thumbs, you tug it down maybe 3 inches before his hands stop yours one last time.
“Wait– I uhh..” his hands shake nervously, “I just haven’t shaved in a minute… I’ve not exactly been sleeping with anybody recently.”
You blink and grin up at him, kissing his knuckles gently and then shooing his hands away to tug the materials down juuuust a bit further. His happy trail dissolves into a bit more hair, but nothing unruly, and the ‘V’ line of his pelvis connects to several protruding veins that all lead down to the base of his cock. 
Despite the steamy atmosphere, Choso winces at the change in temperature and jerks his hips forward again; this time the flushed red tip connects freely to the corner of your mouth and smudges any remainder of your lipgloss.
His dick is long with a few prominent veins tracing alongside the under border of the shaft that disappear behind a small tuft of dark hair at the base. Not necessarily thick, but heavy enough in your hand you can’t help but wonder how’d it’d feel inside you. Pearls of precum drip from the slit at his tip and the ghost of your breath against the skin is enough to have him nearly begging for something anything. 
Opening your mouth, you guide his cock to your tongue laying flat and lick a few long stripes along the shaft before focusing on the tip. The action is enough for Choso’s hand to lose balance for a moment and send a few soap bottles on the counter scattering onto the floor in a string of curses.
You pay no mind, licking a few more strokes to lubricate his dick before sucking in your cheeks to build enough saliva to spit onto his cock. It’s messy and wet and when you finally inch him into your mouth and stroke the base you can’t reach, he’s buckling at the knees. 
“Oh shittt…. Yea,” his hands run into your hair, pulling any loose strands away from your face and allowing him an unobstructed view, “J-Just like that… fuck baby”
Your thighs squirm at his praise, feeling yourself grow embarrassingly wet just from the way your name begins to slip from his lips like a prayer. Slight tugs on your hair earn grunts from your throat, and the vibration makes Choso twitch with each bob of your head.
A dull ache in your jaw, you alternate between taking him in your mouth with hollow cheeks and tight suction to using both your hands to jerk him off while your tongue laps at the tip of his cock. The skin is fresh and salty precum coats your taste buds while your nose is tickled by the strands of his pubic hair that linger at the base. 
“S-Shit.. I’m gonna-”
Choso holds your head steady while he lightly thrusts into your mouth, not too deep to gag you, but enough to cause a few tears to prick at the corner of your eyes. You purse your lips to give him just a bit more contact, “Fuck.. Y/N.. I’m…”
“Choso? You in there?”
There’s a knock at the door followed by Yuji’s slurred voice, “You’ve been gone for while… everything ok?”
You pause for a moment and look up at Choso, who’s released his grip on your hair and resorted to covering his mouth with his palms. Taking the opportunity, you resume your actions, bobbing along his shaft, kisses and licks to his tip, and the occasional graze of his balls when you jerk his shaft to the same rhythm as your lips.
His hips jerk and his face shows the most worried and sex-drunk expression you’ve ever seen. Lips quivering and trying to remain silent while his body betrays him and grunts and flinches with immediate response to each of your touches. 
“Hello..?”
The handle to the bathroom jerks slightly, now immediately known to the both of you how it wasn’t locked.
“Wait!”
The door stops and remains shut, Yuji hums in attentiveness at the response, “Ah so you are in there! Hurry up– I need a new pong partner bro!”
Choso watches the door in horror and resorts to biting the knuckle of his right index finger to avoid moaning out your name.
God he really was the worst brother huh? Here Choso was, getting the best head of his life from the girl of his dreams, aka his brother’s best friend, at a party which was THROWN FOR HIS BROTHER.
“I-I’m not…ughh… feeling too well..”
Choso shivers and hunches forward in pleasure, beads of sweat dripping down the side of his face while his eyebrows contort in pure ecstasy. 
He was going to cum. He was going to cum in the mouth of the woman he’s been helplessly in love with, who is the one girl completely off limits, with his brother unknowingly listening to it on the other side of the door. 
“Oh really? Hmmm, just pull trigger and meet me downstairs– ‘kay?”
Choso barely lasts the extra second of seeing Yuji’s shadow under the door disappear before his hips jerk from your grasp and cums. Hard. It’s messy, not quite in your mouth, but also not aiming for your face; insteads pools of it make it onto your tongue with others now clinging onto the apples of your cheeks and strands of your hair. 
“Ohhh shit–”
 He helps you pump him a few more times to ensure it’s all out while you swallow the load in your mouth and wipe at the remnants on your face. The stars eventually pass and his hips stop twitching in slight overstimulation as the weight of everything clarifies in front of him.
Immediately he takes your hands and raises you to your feet, helping to clean your hair with the forgotten washrag from the stain earlier. Gently, he wipes everything away, careful to not mess up any makeup, before sighing at the sight of your bruised and red knees.
“You didn’t have to swallow you know…” he blushes but keeps looking at you, “your knees-!”
You tilt his head back to face yours and connect your lips to his. Any flavor of lipgloss is replaced by the taste of his own cum when his tongue slides into your mouth again without any hesitation. Your tongue flicks against the metal orb a few times before pulling back and wiping a stray line of saliva from the corner of your mouth.
“That was… fuck Y/N,” he keeps panting before you nudge him slightly in the shoulder.
“Well, aren't you going to chase after Yuji now?”
“Why would I?”
You blink in a slight shock at his immediate reaction, never seeing him prioritize anything besides his brother’s happiness. He looks at you as if you had asked something ridiculous, though he doesn’t hold any ounce of condescension on his face. 
“I just figured–”
“ –Figured I would walk away from the beautiful girl in front of me to go play beer pong?”
You shrug into a blush and dig your chin down slightly at the embarrassment of hearing the question out loud. Choso chuckles and lifts your chin to kiss you again, “No I think I’d like to stay by you if that’s alright. Though the thought of Yuji potentially hearing us will haunt my brain for years to come.”
You chuckle and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss you again while his hands find solace at their home on your hips.
“Let me reciprocate, okay? I wanna make you feel good too.”
A shiver runs down your spine and your back arches involuntarily at the anticipation; nipples hardening into the fabric of your bra from the thought. Choso’s hands wander further down to the swell of your ass and give a light squeeze before resting on the flesh under your thighs.
“Jump for me.”
Obeying the short command, you give a slight hop and allow him to rest his forearms under your thighs with the palm of his hands gripping onto each cheek of your ass. His biceps flex from the weight, though he holds you as if you were only as heavy as a housecat, shifting your weight in his arms but never struggling to maneuver. At eye level he nudges you with his chin for one more kiss before spinning and letting you open the door of the bathroom. 
With a short peer down the hallway, he makes a quick break for one of the bedrooms and this time remembers to actually lock the door behind him. Gently, he places you on the edge of the queen size bed sitting on the left side of the room, kissing you once again before stepping back watching you kick off your doc mary-janes and unties the laces of his own boots. 
Music is still blaring off in the distance, though noticeably quieter, and Choso flicks on a dim floor lamp in the corner for some light. He steps between your thighs and runs a hand through your hair with a slight tug before sinking to his own knees at the foot of the bed.
He plays with the hem of your skit absentmindedly and kneads the flesh of your thighs before looking up and swallowing, “Can I?”
A simple nod is all he needs to hoist up the edge of your skirt to pool around your waist and scoff in frustration at the opaque tights now in his way. Shifting his hands from your waist, he takes some of the tension from the fabric around your pussy in between his fingers and rips it open.
“Hey-!”
“It’s in the way..” he whines quietly with no ounce of actual remorse in his voice. 
He takes the fabric and rips it further, exposing the dark purple lacy panties covering what he was so desperately searching for. A dark patch stains the fabric from your helpless desire and whimpers escape your lips above him when he drags a single finger up and down the material in awe. 
“All this– for me?”
“Shut up..”
Your face burns in embarrassment but Choso doesn't care, gripping the fabric and pushing it to the left to expose half of your sopping cunt. He shudders at the sight and immediately places a few kisses to flesh, addicted to the way you squirm with each contact. Though he grows frustrated quickly and tugs at the rest of your tights, keeping your panties caged on.
“Stupid fucking–”
“Choso.”
He looks up, impatient, while you lean onto your back to shimmy the elastic band of the tights down to your thighs and lett Choso drag the material down your legs and throw them to the floor.
“See? You didn’t need to rip them.”
“Hah.. sorry baby.”
There isn’t a chance to react to the pet name he’s begun calling you before he takes a moment to admire the way his favorite color looked when it decorated your pussy, and drags it down your ankles to join your tights on the floor. 
Instinctively your thighs move to shut, but his hand splay them back out to expose your cunt further. A shiver running down his back and a new erection growing in his half-worn boxers, he leans down to admire it further.
“Stop staring. It’s embarrassing…”
 You’re mumbling with your attention turned anywhere else in the room as your cheeks burned. 
Embarrassing? How could this be embarrassing?
Choso looks up at you and then back down, “How could this ever be…? This is the pussy I’ve been dreaming about for months, and you’re going to say it’s embarrassing?”
He takes a moment to let his tongue lay flat and lick a long stripe up the core of your cunt, “This is the only thing I can ever think about…”
The warmth of his tongue makes you wither from the sensation and the cold metal ball in the center causes your spine to arch from the contrast. Taking a few more licks he pushes your back onto the bed and makes space for him to now also lay on the comforter, hanging half off the mattress and humping against the box spring while he makes out with your pussy without shame. 
His tongue drinks up your arousal without hesitation and his tongue dips into your core while his hands wrap around the underside of your thighs to keep them open for him. The piercing bumps into the spongy interior of your pussy while his nose grinds against your clit,  his head rocking into your cunt at a steady rhythm. 
 You groan his name and grab a fistful of his hair and tug hard while he moans in response. After a few more licks he kisses your clit, “Alright.. That should be good…”
Wearily, you look up and watch as he sucks his index and middle fingers in his mouth before he spits down onto your cunt and sinks a finger inside. Throwing your head back from the slight stretch, he watches the way his finger disappears into your pussy, “Shit.. fucking tight as hell baby.”
Choso thrusts his finger in and out and in and out before returning his lips to your clit and sucking on it. 
“Oh my.. Nnghh...”
His other hand holds your hip steady before increasing the pace of his finger and pulling back from your clit slightly. Choso watches your face as he sinks his middle finger into your cunt as well to ensure there’s no sign of pain before thrusting his hand harder.
“Fuck!”
That unexplainable feeling builds in your gut and your hips rock to meet his lips in more friction to chase that high even quicker. Choso notices and twists and bends his fingers from within you, eager to find that one spot while leaning back down to suck at your clit again.
With one more bend of his fingers he can feel it, the spongy rough patch that nearly feels like a citrus peel, and as soon his fingertips graze it, your back arches even more. Grinding down his fingers, his name leaves your lips like a mantra.
“Choso… FUCK.. yea, like that– haa.. Yea that..”
He grinds his hips along the mattress to get some sort of friction while his fingers increase the pace, committing to memory every single sound and taste. Your eyes are screwed shut in focus and shamelessly groaning out as you chase your high.
That knot in your gut forms and gets exponentially tighter before inevitably snapping. The feeling leaves you twitching against his lips and hand, riding out the pleasure and whimpering at the inevitable overstimulation when his mouth refuses to part from your cunt.
“God,” he pulls his fingers out and replaces them with his tongue instead, “taste so fucking good. What the hell.”
You claw his hair to part from your thighs but he makes no effort to move, the muscles bulging in his skin, refusing to move from their position as he drinks in every drop of your orgasm. The piercing tickles you as his tongue continues to flick inside you, only pulling back for air and to admire the fucked out face you’re now making. 
Completely pussy-drunk he pulls himself back from your thighs and licks at the sheen of your cum still resting on his lips before climbing over you and connecting your mouths. The taste of your own orgasm would cause pause any other time, but Choso is kissing you with so much want and desire it makes your mind go fuzzy.
“Feeling ok? Sorry if I got carried away,” he nuzzles down into the crook of your neck on the side without the hickey, “just wanted to do that for a while now…”
Wearily, you pet the strands of his hair before Choso sits up and takes the hem of your shirt in his hands and pushes the fabric over your head and off the side of the bed. He admires the pretty lace of the matching purple bra and skims over your hard nipples with the pads of his fingers, the black nail polish glowing in the dim light as he pinches the nerves. 
After a few open kisses to the swell of your breasts and leaving a few marks along the way, he shimmies your skirt off and tosses it to the ground. With a pout you sit up and wrap your fingers along the hem of his shirt and pull it over his head, pausing when his chest is revealed. 
Abs sculpted from stone and a variety of small scars along his ribs from stories you’d like to hear one day are enough to make you nearly drool while you stare. It’s the ultimate sleeper build that he’s kept hidden behind baggy t-shirts for way too long. 
“Ok I think I get it now when you said it’s embarrassing.”
Choso looks to the side and gently smiles, his ears dusted pink before you lean up to run light kisses along the mark across his face and trail down to his cheek and navel. 
“So pretty.”
“Don’t you mean handsome?”
“That too.”
He smiles and meets your lips again while your hands go back down to his jeans and attempt to push them down before reaching back and unclasping your own bra. Immediately, he dips down to wrap his tongue around your left nipple, running the piercing over the nub while his hand kneads the fatty flesh of your other breast in his fingers. After a few additional licks and bruises are added around the left tit for good measure, he swaps and pays equal attention to the other one.
He’s in heaven. Silently thanking the gods above for this opportunity and wondering if maybe in a past life he had been a hero of some sort to deserve this experience with you. 
After a moment you push him back and tug his pants and boxers back down the rest of the way, giggling when his foot gets caught in the material and ‘interrupts the mood’ as he calls it. 
“Ah wait.”
Choso pauses from his position of gently pushing you flat against the bed beneath him, wondering if this was too far for your first evening as a… couple? The idea is more than enough to make his cock twitch in anticipation. Fuck, even being called your ‘boyfriend’ could make him bust on the spot. 
“Do you have a condom?”
Choso’s eyes meet yours and he looks back to his jeans, wondering if his wallet would have one or not but ultimately deciding there’s no chance he would actually carry one with him. To be fair, the goal of this party was to ask you on a date without the company of Yuji or Suguru, so to get this far is a miracle in his book. 
“No.. I don’t”
You gnaw your lip and look between the both of you, his long hair tickling your cheeks from the proximity and the tip of his cock occasionally kissing the entrance to your cunt with every twitch. Fuck.
“We don’t have to–”
“Buy me the morning after pill?”
Choso sputters at your response, eyes nearly falling out of his skull, the first time he gets to sleep with you, he gets to hit it raw?
Ok he must’ve been a knight or a king to get this kind of treatment. 
“Y-Yea, of course.”
You pull him down for another kiss and admire the way his hands now shake in anticipation and worry; nearly the same face he made before cumming earlier. It’s a fair assumption considering Choso is convinced he may bust after maybe three strokes. 
The humiliation would kill him, so he swallows and glides the tip of his cock up and down the folds of your cunt a few times. Getting some of the lubrication from your earlier orgasm, he also spits into his hand and coats the shaft to make it smoother. 
With a tap on your clit for good measure, he lines up with your entrance and slowly sinks inch by inch inside. The feeling is a stretching burn that doesn’t hurt but needs a moment of getting used to while Choso cages you underneath and whispers patient soft praises into your ears. 
After a moment he finally bottoms out and the hair from his pubes tickles your clit as he fills you to the hilt. A breath of relief at the sensation while Choso releases a breath of focus, his hair sticking to his forehead in slight sweat. 
His knee pushes up on the bed and opens your thighs wider before he begins to slide in and out, mumbling nonsense with each stroke. The missionary position befits his immediate possessive nature, giving him a perfect view of your face and a decent angle to watch the way his cock disappears into your cunt with each thrust. 
You pull on his strands and kiss him, licking the metal orb on his tongue before admiring the way his abdomen flexes with each movement.
“Oh fuck-”
It’s hard to tell who’s talking in between both of your incoherent babbling, your mind growing fuzzy from the stretch of his cock and smack of his pelvis on your clit, and his brain going completely pussy-drunk and murmuring a string of sappy promises of how happy he is to finally have you to himself. 
Tilting his head to the side, you dig your canines into his neck in an attempt to mark him in the same way he had done previously. 
“Shit.. ahh”
His hips rock unevenly so you increase the suction and dig your teeth once more before a particularly rocky thrust has you biting down harder than you intend. A slight metallic taste of iron coats your tongue and you immediately pull back and apologize for breaking the skin.
“N-No… shit..ahhh baby.. Do it again…please”
Choso keeps his neck open for you to continue sucking on, stuttering with his words and hips at the sensation of his warm blood gently trickling down his flesh. Wordlessly, you move down to another spot and bite down, though not enough to tear the skin and Choso whimpers pathetically from above you. 
“Wait actually–” he pulls back and gently pulls out, hissing at the lack of contact before sitting on the bed next to you and pulling you to straddle him, “I’m gonna cum too fast like that… haaa, you can just ride me, ok? Ride me however you want, baby.”
Sinking back down and sighing in relief when he’s finally kissing your cervix with his cock again, his hands lift to play with your tits while you grind against him. Hands on his shoulders and focused on achieving an orgasm, you rub down especially hard on his slight bush for the friction against your clit. 
Choso admires the way your chest bounces with each movement and settles his hands on your hips, helping you fuck him senseless. 
“Haaa.. you know it’s funny” Choso pants in between bounces, “I always wanted to give you a ride home…”
You laugh and shove his shoulder slightly, falling forward and grinding the tip of his cock against that spongy patch inside your pussy again. Immediately your hips falter and your shoulders slump forward while Choso wastes no time in sliding back down on the bed and planting his feet firmly. Grabbing your hips, he flexes his thighs to meet your thrusts and push further into that spot with his dick with more even force.
“Yea that’s it.. Just fucking use me okay?”
Your thrusts are uneven as your hips twitch with every thrust, feeling that familiar sensation building inside once again. Every thrust has your face contorting with pleasure and Choso can feel himself also ready to finally let go and cum; having been trying to think of anything else to make himself hold out just a little bit longer. 
After a few more strokes, your face is warped in pleasure while he continues thrusting from underneath to drag out the orgasm. Twitching with spinal convulsions from the intensity, Choso watches in awe as he fucks you through the overstimulation and watches the creamy ring from your cum form around the base of his cock. He takes his fingers and pushes it back onto his shaft as more lubrication,taking any remainder on his fingertip to his lips and sucking it off.
You fall in a slump on his chest and he plants his feet firmly onto the mattress, fucking up a few more times before erratically grinding into your pussy and reciting your name over and over again while hot streams of cum fill your cunt. 
“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N-”
The sensation is filling and warm while his hips jerk up a few more times to ride through his orgasm and ensure no drop of his cum is left. His arms are wrapped up and around your while both of your bodies stick to together from the sweat and fluids.
“Haaa,” Choso lets out a half laugh and pushes some hair out of your face before leaning up to kiss you again.”
“That was great.”
“Mmmm, yea,” he pecks your cheek again, the intimacy of the situation becoming not just sexually, but emotionally raw as well, “Let’s do it again?”
You look over at him with a fucked out expression, your hair a complete mess and makeup poorly smudged.
“I mean not now! Haha,” he slides out from your cunt and sighs from the loss of contact as his erection deflates back down to flaccidity. “I think I’m empty.”
You nod and roll off his body but stay intertwined with his limbs as you lay next to him, silently wondering what the fuck the plan was now. Tracing his jaw with your fingers absentmindedly and skimming the mark across his face, you notice the way his eyes never leave yours and his head leans into your every touch.
“Oh that’s right–” Choso looks at you with realization and an embarrassed smile on his face, “Can I take you out sometime?“
“Are you asking me out on a date?”
“Yea…?”
You laugh and lean forward to kiss him and Choso immediately meets you in the middle as if he was constantly waiting for the next time your lips would meet his. 
“I’d like that. Get breakfast tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?”
His voice is too excited and he instantly backtracks in a poor attempt to act casual, “Oh tomorrow? Yea… yea I should be free.”
“You’re such a dork, you know that?”
He kisses the hand you use to flick his forehead and smiles up at you before biting one of your fingers idly, “But aren’t I…. your dork now?”
You sit up in the bed and lean down to kiss him, “Yea, you are,” before shimmying off the bed and wobbling around to find the remnants of your clothes and shoes.
Choso watches from the edge of the mattress, an obvious pout on his face at the loss of contact from your body.
“I just need to pee ok? I am NOT about to get a UTI before exams.”
Choso huffs in defeat and stands up to sort his clothes from your own, wincing in weak remorse when you throw your ripped tights into the bedroom trash can.
“I’ll join you in a moment.”
You step out of the bedroom and wobble your way down the hallway, not bothering to relock the door, while Choso slides on his boxers and jeans in one pull. He moves around the floor in search of his shirt when footsteps quickly approach the bedroom and Yuji swings the door open.
“Oh there you are!”
Choso is frozen solid standing in a room torn apart that reeks of sex while being covered in sweat and remnants of cum.
“I just saw Y/N walking sooo funny to the bathroom and flipping me off,” he laughs and covers his abdomen, “She totally just got fucked-”
There’s a silence between the two men.
“Hey where are your clothes?”
“Uhhhh…”
Choso stands half-naked with his shirt not even around his neck as Yuji quickly begins putting dots together and stares at his brother in complete shock. Before another word can be issued between them Todo appears and smacks Yuji’s back.
“My best friend, why are you interrupting your brother at this moment?”
“He’s,” Yuji points out, still in complete shock at Choso, “He’s banging my friend!”
Choso winces but Todo just crosses his arms and sighs in disappointment, “Allow him to relish in the feeling of finally getting the person who he desires the most.”
“Yea but she’s my-”
“If I had the opportunity with Takada or YOU had the opportunity with Megan Thee Stallion or Megumi.. Would you want HIM to burst into the room?”
Choso has no idea how this idiotic comparison is somehow making Yuji ok with the idea of him sleeping and now dating you, but he isn’t about to ruin the opportunity. 
“No… I wouldn’t”
“See? You’re growing up nicely. But!” Todo returns his hand to Yuji’s shoulders and guides him out of the room, “You still have training to do until then… you need to beat me at flip cup now!”
Choso waits half a moment before sighing in relief but knows when Yuji’s sober he’ll have to come clean in a better way; he slides his shirt back over his head and scurries out to the bathroom. A quick courtesy knock before he swings it open and shuts it, before standing behind your figure washing your hands. His hands wrap around your waist while he places small kisses on your shoulder.
“Choooosooo”
“Hmmm?”
“You left a million hickies!”
He giggles and laughs into your shoulder before mumbling ‘good’ and spinning you around to face him. 
“Everyone will notice.”
“That’s the point.”
You roll your eyes playfully and then look back down at your shirt, still uncomfortable from the sensation of the now cold and sticky fabric.
“It’s kinda gross…”
“So wear mine.”
You look back up at him as he effortlessly slips his own shirt off and tugs at you to do the same, though his eyes linger on the swell of your tits long enough for you to swat him away playfully. It’s an oversized band t-shirt that nearly falls to the same length as your skirt and smells just like his cologne. 
“I might never return it.”
“I’ll give you a million of them if you promise to always wear them,” he kisses your lips, “especially around Suguru and Satoru.“
“Hmm? Jealous?”
He chuckles and keeps his hands planted on your hips, “How could I not be? Those two get to see you all the time while I have to pretend to leave shit at your apartment as an excuse.”
Your heart tugs at his confession and you push the hair falling into his face back for a moment before it cascades back down to its original spot, “You know you can see me whenever you want to as well now?”
He smiles wide and plants a few more pecks onto your flesh, the awkward and emotional side of him creeping back in.
“Wait, you’re gonna be shirtless now?”
“Yea, I don’t really mind if it means you’re comfortable.”
“But everyone is gonna see the hickies I left on you.”
Choso smiles and pivots to admire his back in the mirror, “Hey don’t forget the scratches– ow!”
You shove him lightly and laugh before opening the bathroom door and making room for him to step out after you. 
“Can I stay at your place tonight? I don’t really want the first thing I do when I wake up to be to explain to Yuji about all of this.”
“Yea, that’s fine.. Was there something else you were thinking of doing when you first wake up?”
He follows you to the edge of the stairs, the music getting louder and louder, “I have a few things in mind, but–” his eyes trail down to his own doc marten boots and your mary-jane ones, “I want the first thing Suguru and Satoru see when they get to the apartment to be my shoes next to yours.”
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OMGGG a really long one shot and my first NSFW on this app hehehe
hope you liked it! I'm gonna make a list of holiday topics and try to grind them out despite it being halfway through the month already whoops -> Choso's would be a part 2 to this one :)
reblogs/likes/comments all appreciated <3
-oatmeal
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lanawinterscigarettes · 2 months ago
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Sorry to keep bombarding you with house MD reqs but may I request a Wilson x transmasc reader for kinktober? Specifically with either the edging/overstimulation prompt or the Public sex prompt. I'm on James Wilson of Oncology brainrot 😔☝️
- 🌝
ofc you can! and don't even worry about it, I love all the requests you send in 🥰 thanks for the kinktober request!
(also I went with Wilson being on the receiving end of the edging/overstimulation but if you ever want a fic in the future that has it the other way around please don't hesitate to ask! I love writing subby characters with dom readers but I understand completely if that's not really what you had in mind)
Kinktober 2024 Day 10: James Wilson x transmasc reader having semi-public sex that involves edging/overstimulation
Warnings: smut/nsfw content, semi-public sex, both edging and overstimulation, riding, bottom sub Wilson, top dom reader, condom use/protected sex implied but not explicitly stated (please use a condom irl if you don't want stds and/or children I beg of you), slight humilation kink, could be seen as dubcon in some areas but everything was properly consented to beforehand
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Princeton Plainsbouro Teaching Hospital was great for many things. Getting a check-up, having a transplant, resting after spending several grueling hours in surgery. One of the things it was also used for was the occasional quickie between members of the staff.
Sometimes it was in dark corriders, though mostly it was empty patient rooms or supply closets. This time happened to be in the office of a certain head of oncology.
"Shush, James. You have to be quiet unless you want us to get caught," you murmured teasingly in his ear as you sat on his lap. You were straddling him as he sat in his desk chair, his dick plunged deep inside of you.
"You're doing this on purpose," he lightly accused, his voice strained. His hands were gripping tightly onto the armrests of the chair as he did his best not to allow himself to get any more worked up than he already was.
You'd been cruel, and you knew it. He'd been edged for the past half hour or so as you made yourself cum again and again and again, forced to do nothing but sit there and watch as it happened. You promised (well, threatened is more like) that the second he came without having your permission first you'd get up and leave, and he couldn't possibly have that.
So he simply sat there, the light sheen of sweat on his face and neck causing his skin to glisten in the light. If he wasn't so focused on keeping himself from cumming, he'd have been admiring the view of you on top of him.
He so desperately wanted to finish, at least get the chance to cry out your name, but he knew both of those things were currently off the table if he wanted you to stay.
"Please," he begged in a pitiful whine, trying not to squirm as he felt you clench around him. "It's- it's not fair-"
"You sound so pretty when you beg." You leaned in and peppered the side of his neck with teasing kisses as you continued to slowly move up and down in his lap. It was hard not to smirk when you felt the way he hips jolted upwards into yours, further signifiying his growing need. "Ah, ah, ah. What did I say about moving?"
"Please, please let me cum," Wilson pleaded with you, his bottom lip (which was pink and swollen from all the rough kisses you'd given him earlier) sticking outwards in a visible pout. "I- I can be quiet- I'll be good for you, I promise-"
"Hm..." You pretended to think it over before finally relenting. "I'll let you cum, but you can't stop until I tell you to, okay?"
If he'd been thinking clearly, he probably would've taken a bit longer to consider your conditions, but your offer was just too good for him to refuse. "D- Deal. Whatever you want from me, I'll do it, I swear."
Famous last words, you thought while pulling your face away from his neck, a certain glint of mischief in your eyes. "Alright, baby. You can cum now if you really want to."
It was like the floodgates had opened up just from you saying those words alone. His body tensed up underneath you, and you could feel his dick twitch inside of you as he released his load. Thank god for condoms, because otherwise that would've been one hell of a mess to clean up.
He leaned back against the chair as he tried to catch his breath, his eyes shut and his breathing ragged. It almost made you feel bad for what you were going to do next.
When he felt you pull off him and move back to sit on his thighs, he thought nothing of it. It wasn't until your hand met his aching cock that he realized what was going on.
His eyes shot open almost immediately when you wrapped your hand around his member and began to slowly jerk him off, which prompted him to remember your words from earlier. "I'll let you cum, but you can't stop until I tell you to."
"Oh, god..." He whimpered pathetically as he squirmed around in his seat, realizing the overstimulation he felt from your touch was just going to keep getting worse until you decided to give him a break.
"I don't think he can help you now," you replied with a smug grin, visibly proud of yourself for the mess you'd made of the usually so put-together doctor.
He could only let out broken mewls in response, his head tilting backwards as his eyes glazed over. "T- Too much... Can't do it..."
"Yes, you can," you insisted in a soft yet firm tone, giving his sensitive cock a light squeeze to further set him on edge.
It must've worked, because you heard his nails scratch at the leather upholstery on his chair's armrests in an attempt to help ground himself. "I can't," he protested in a strangled plea.
You disreguarded his words as you continued to pump his member, which was slick with your arousal from when he'd been inside of you. "You're going to get the both of us caught if you keep whining like that."
He huffed loudly in frustration, not amused. "Y- You're awful. You want us to get caught at this point, don't you?"
"Keep acting like a brat, and I'll page House. I'm sure he'd just love to get a front row view of you falling apart underneath me."
That certainly did a good job of shutting him up. If there was one thing that was worse than being teased and taunted relentlessly by you, it was being teased and taunted relentlessly by both you and House. He already disliked it happening in general, meaning there was no way he wanted to experience it in a situation like this one.
"Just once more, okay? Cum for me once more, and then we're finished," you bargained with him as you kept your hand wrapped around his cock. "Just one more time, baby, you can do it, c'mon."
The combination of your promise and the gentle encouragements you gave only got him closer and closer to his goal. It wasn't until you leaned in and sunk your teeth into the side of his neck in an affectionate bite that he was officially pushed over the edge.
He heart was racing at this point, his legs shaking somewhat as the aftermath of his orgasm washed over him. "You can never settle for just a normal quickie, can you?" His voice was breathless as he lightly joked with you, his chest visibly rising and falling as he sat back in his chair.
You looked like the cat that ate the canary as you watched him, overly smug at how wrecked he looked right now. "With someone as irresistible as you? Never."
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Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated | requests are currently open
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deeplyclosetedjameswilson · 2 months ago
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just remembered wilson sat in on all the fellows interviews…meeting with your potential future boss/mentor and the head of oncology is there. hes not saying anything just doing his sudoku and coughing whenever house starts to deviate from the list of approved questions
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ampgirladmirer · 16 days ago
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That's how I became a disabled one.
This is an old story I found and tried to translate.
It all started in my early youth. I broke my shins on both legs, spent almost three months in bed and three in a wheelchair, then almost as many months on crutches. And I liked it. Then two more times I managed to "organize" two or three months with crutches. I thought, "What if I didn't have a leg…"
Then I got married, had two children… I kind of forgot about it. But my legs started to get tired and sore. The doctors found something, among the prescriptions and options for the future flashed that "if…, you just might end up legless!". This suddenly made a big, even amazing impression on me.
A year later, I just wanted to "end up" like that! We discussed it all with my husband, it was like a mind game, a flight of fancy. A leg, both legs, an arm, hands, legs and one arm, all limbs at all...
Just a week later, in the evening, when the children were already put to bed, my husband suddenly said that it seems that there is an opportunity to do my surgery now and "almost at will". In the development of the thought I said "Let's not be trifling, let's just amputate all at once - arms and legs!"
It turned out that everything is quite serious. And real!
My husband had a contact in medical circles, who made up my oncology with the need for a corresponding operation. Of course it was scary. But to regret all my life that we did not take the chance - no way. I gave up and decided. A couple more weeks we thought about what kind of surgery to do. The first possible option me and my husband were thinking of, "all four limbs at all", was inconvenient, it's hard to be totally limbless in everyday life. I really wanted to have very small leg stumps, and at least one empty sleeve…
At work, the message that in a week I go the hospital with oncology for amputation of the leg made a shocking impression. The main motive was "how will you live as a cripple?" They didn't know what kind of surgery I was going to have!
To be honest, I still have a vague idea of how my "disease" was organized. I remember in the hospital being very afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing and being compromised. It was good that they kept me for only four days before the operation….
The first half an hour after I came to my senses after the operation is etched in my memory.
I was lying alone in the room, covered up to my neck with a blanket. My right hand was on the edge of the bed with a drip stuck in it. I tried moving my left arm. No effect. Tried to lift my head to look at myself. I could see that on the left side the blanket was lying somehow flat and the "bump" from my feet was not visible in the bed. I didn't have the strength for more.
The nurse came in and, seeing that I was awake, asked me how I was feeling. I asked to go to the toilet and was told affectionately that I had a diaper on. And I finally gave out the question that had been tormenting me: "My right arm - do I have only one arm now?" The nurse blinked and for some reason whispered, "Yes." I asked, "And the legs?" The nurse nodded frantically and scurried away. And I finally realized that THIS had happened. I lay in the bed with only a diaper on, legless and one-armed.
A day later, I saw my stumps. My legs were amputated high above the knees, my left arm - completely. That's how I became a disabled woman.
===========
For a very long time I learned how to sit up, crawl. Then how to handle a wheelchair. I could never learn to get into a wheelchair on my own, it's quite hard being left legless and only with one hand. I won't lie that I didn't regret what I did. I did, especially at first. I regretted it very acutely when, about a year after the surgery, my seven-years-old daughter came up to my wheelchair, stroked the empty sleeve of my housecoat, and asked, "Mom, did they cut off your arm for good?"
But eventually I adjusted to the situation, got used to a wheelchair, learned, and began to live normally. My husband helped me a lot. And that I lost an arm and legs by my own will - so who cares about that? I have a beautiful family. There are lots of things I can't do anymore, of course. So what of it? I have the most important things for a woman - a husband and children. I'm helpless in the house, but not completely. In bed, I'm not helpless. And the comparison of what was before the operation and the current state is in favor of the latter. I have long since concluded that amputated legs is a very positive moment for sex. If the stumps were shorter, it would be even better. Probably not without reason, I dreamed of having my legs operated on as high as possible.
I think that everything worked out very well.
At home, I'm almost always in a wheelchair. And for some reason, I never got used to my disability being visible.
That's how I turned out to be - a voluntary disabled woman.
And in the summer I even tried to feel as if it was "all four...". The kids were at grandma's, my husband was on vacation. And I had my only arm tightly bandaged to my body, so that it was immobile. And I lay a week like that. I immediately felt crippled and helpless. My husband nursed me like a baby. It's nice to be the center around which everything else revolves. But when he took the bandage off and I got my arm back! Back to being a regular disabled woman in a wheelchair, legless an one-armed, with a husband I love and two kids.
Trying to repeat my life trick is strongly discouraged. Too much depends on other people. First of all, on your man who is there for you in life.
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angryschnauzer · 1 year ago
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January 11th 2024
Yeah its been a while since i updated. I haven't had the energy to if i'm honest, but here we go.
Hubby had his brain surgery end of November '23. The tumour they took out was a nasty one, somewhere between the size of a golf ball and a kiwi fruit. The wound has healed well with little to no side affects apart from some double vision, but he was checked out for that and it is a common after affect of brain trauma and was remedied with an eyepatch for a few weeks.
We met with the Neuro Oncology team at Royal Marsden Hospital in London. They are one of the best (if not the best) cancer treatment centres in the whole country, and we worked through a treatment plan.
Just before Christmas hubby was also cleared to have shoulder reconstructive surgery (he broke his shoulder bone in the original seizures back at the end of October '23). There was a really small window of time between it being enough time after the brain surgery that he could go back under general anaesthetic, but also enough time to mostly heal before he started Radiotherapy and Chemo, so just 5 days before Christmas hubby was in and out of our local hospital in a single day to have that surgery.
Christmas was a quiet and subdued affair. I also herniated a disk in my back the day Hubby had surgery (i was clearing the deep freeze out ready for grocery delivery), so it meant both he and I were dosed up to our eyeballs on strong painkillers for most of the holiday, and Little Dude spent the majority of the break either playing video games or building his new lego sets.
Two days before Christmas i also had to have emergency dental work (i had been grinding my teeth and had previously cracked a tooth) and whilst i was in the dentists office some utter idiot crashed into my car. That was the last thing i needed but i simply handed it all over to my insurance company (who are aware of my husbands situation) and they arranged a hire vehicle and sorted repairs.
Onto the start of 2024. This is the first week of Radiotherapy and Chemo for Hubby. He is getting very tired and fatigued already from the Radiotherapy, but thankfully no nausea from the chemo as yet, but that could change over time. He is scheduled for a full schedule of 6 weeks of this dual treatment, where we are having to visit Royal Marsden every day Mon - Fri for the six weeks, and then he also takes the chemo 7 days a week for the six weeks.
He'll then have 4 to 6 weeks 'off' treatment for his body to relax and recuperate, but will have scans and MRI's during that time to gauge what further treatment will be, but its likely to be just chemo but a stronger dose, but no radiotherapy. The chemo is to be 3 weeks off one week on, so a 4 weekly cycle.
The one thing we have discovered isn't done is prognosis's. When we first got to Royal Marsden we were shocked as they started talking about years, and explained that although it was a really nasty tumour, it was found very early and whilst it was still relatively small for its kind. They've discussed things like 'this years treatment plan then we'll look at next years', and also for a while Hubby was being considered for a clinical trial which candidates who have prognosis's of 12 months+ are only considered for. In the end he didn't meet the criteria (his cholesterol was too high). The Macmillian Nurses also have been talking to us about Mobility Car assistance schemes where you can get govt assistance financially and get an adapted vehicle on a 2 year rolling lease. All these timings are reassuring in one way, but worrying in another - we have no idea what the future holds and it really does cement in stone that our time is limited and could end any moment, and makes it very difficult to make any long term plans. You don't realise how much of your life is preplanned until you end up in this situation and aren't sure if you can book your kid onto the school residential trip in 5 months time.
Should anyone want the mundane daily day-to-day life updates you can follow me on my personal instagram @simone_with_an_e its generally a load of utter boring bollocks, but i try to keep it updated daily with updates when i can as its a lot easier to do 1 short paragraph than a big update.
For me my mental health is a little better now that i've had time to process Hubby's diagnosis and that he is getting treatment. There are still days or hours when i fall apart, and it could be something as simple as listening to a song on the radio as i drive back from dropping Little Dude at school and i realise the song would be lovely at his funeral. I end up having to pull over and have a cry whilst switching the radio off. I'm loosing weight and aging quickly, my hair is turning grey from stress and i realised i've aged about 15 years in the last 3 from stress. My appetite comes and goes, and things like red meat now turn my stomach and i can't digest it. But i also haven't drunk alcohol since the day before Hubby had his seizure back in October. I feel like i need to stay 'alert' in case i need to rush him to the hospital for something. I don't miss it as such, but I miss the ability to fully relax. Its hard to describe but i feel like at the moment i've lost myself and am just functioning to care for those around me, going through the motions as such.
Anyway, this has been a long update. I do still lurk here, you may see me pop up in notifications liking something, but at the moment i don't feel its right to start putting fandom stuff back on here yet. I do hope to get back to writing at some point. I miss it and the unfinished stories plague my mind as i have such lovely plans for story arc's and really want to finish them.
Take care all,
Schnauz
xxx
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