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epicbuddieficrecs · 22 days ago

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Weekly Recap | October 14th-20th 2024

You probably don't know this about me, but my first real fandom was One Direction. Twelve years ago, I discovered these boys and I fell in love with them, their friendship, their music. They've had such a big impact on my life. I've been in shock and so sad learning about Liam's passing.

I don't know why I'm saying all that, I don't really know what to say. I guess I just wanted to share in case anyone else was also affected.

Complete

I'm not okay, but it's all gonna be alright by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Pre-Buddie, S8 | 1K | General): “I’m going to Texas.” Eddie says quietly. Buck doesn’t move. Doesn’t react in any way. He keeps breathing, keeps holding Eddie’s arm against his chest, fingers moving in the tiniest of brushes along his skin, and keeps watching this ridiculous show. “Okay.”

there’s no way that we could rewind by Iover_of_mine (I_almost_do)/ @lover-of-mine (S3E3: Searchers | 1,5K | General): The one at the VA hospital after the tsunami

the sincerest form of flattery by canadadry (S8E3: Final Approach, Brad POV | 1,7K | Not Rated): “Your boy—Buck,” Brad says. “First marriage?” - in which Brad Torrence only almost passes out, and observes the aftermath.

a rush inside i can't control by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (S8E5: Masks Spec, Coming Out | 2K | General): “Eddie,” Buck says. “That man was flirting with you.” Eddie blinks at him. “No, he—was he?” “There was a vibe,” Buck says. “I could feel it across the room.” “Definitely a bit of a vibe,” Bobby chimes in from the captain’s seat. “Oh,” Eddie says, and— Buck narrows his eyes. “You’re blushing.”

Put My Name At The Top Of Your List by icewhisper (Post-S7, Established Buddie | 2,6K | Teen): He’ll be fine, he tells himself again. It’s just dinner with his parents. How bad could it be? He may as well have said the q-word. (Wherein Buck finally hits a breaking point with his parents and Eddie helps him pick up the pieces.)

A-maze-ing by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (Post-S7, Getting Together | 2,7K | Teen): “Would you want t-to go with me? To the haunted pumpkin patch?” Buck asked, sounding way too nervous for asking Eddie to go to a pumpkin patch. Unless - Unless Buck wasn’t just asking him to go to a pumpkin patch. Unless Buck was asking Eddie on a date to the pumpkin patch. Eddie felt something warm and fizzy bubbling in his chest. He kind of felt like he might bubble up and float away, so filled with joy at the prospect of Buck asking him out. Of Buck wanting him that way.

he wants ya, she wants ya. by dylaesthetics (S8, Eddie Coming Out, Pre-Buddie | 3K | Teen): After Eddie comes out via a Facebook post, he rekindles his friendship with Lena.

Advice For the Young At Heart by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S7, Eddie Coming Out, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): Buck and Bobby overhear big news about Eddie. Buck spirals. Bobby talks him through it.

i’ll do your laundry, covered in dirt by justhockey (Future fic, Getting Together | 3K | General): Or, Eddie learns that Buck dug through the mud for him.

Secret Weapon by Inell/ @inell (PWP, Established Buddie | 3,5K | Explicit): Buck makes Eddie a few promises that his stubborn partner is refusing to let him keep. He has to use his secret weapon to get Eddie to surrender.

There’s No Place Like Home-Spun by icewhisper (Buck has ADHD | 4K | General): Buck has spent most of his life trying to find something to settle fidgeting hands and the restless need for a home. He found the key to the latter when he was thirteen. He finds the former in a cozy home on South Bedford Street with two of his favorite people. (AKA the Buck-crochets fic that literally no one asked for.)

Failing Up by Inell/ @inell (Getting Together | 4K | Teen): Buck accidentally kisses Eddie, feels like he made The Big Mistake, and finally talks to Eddie about it. Feelings get revealed, and Buck realizes maybe it wasn’t a mistake, after all.

what started in beautiful rooms by weewooforever (Infidelity, FWB, Canon Divergent, Post S7 | 4K | Mature): buck and eddie have been hooking up since the day they met and eddie is too afraid to make their relationship official. until one day he can’t take it anymore.

songs and poems and promises by lesbianrobin/ @lesbianrobin (S8, PWP, Getting Together | 5K | Explicit): “I think you should break up with Tommy.” Buck tries not to grin like a maniac. “Yeah?” “Yeah. And I think you should come home with me.” “In that order?” Eddie gives him a look highly reminiscent of Bobby. “Sorry,” Buck says, and Eddie laughs. “I was kidding. I think.” When the party is over, Buck goes back to the loft and calls his boyfriend. Then, in the morning, he goes home.

Baby just say yes by scarmaddiewrites (Post-S8E4 No Place Like Home, Buck/Tommy Break-Up, Pre-Buddie | 5K | Teen): Tommy is a terrible boyfriend, and now Eddie keeps ending up on dates that Buck had planned for Tommy. Totally platonic, right?

grindrgate (it’s fine, it’s cool) by canadadry (Post-S7, Getting Together | 5K | Not Rated): Buck realizes three things, in this order: First: That was a notification alert from Grindr. Second: That notification alert came from Eddie’s phone. Third: Eddie has Grindr? Apparently?

invisible string (tying you to me) by bookinit/ @bookinit02 (Getting Together, Fluff | 5K | Teen): Buck sighs again, even louder and longer and noisier this time. “Eddie’s shoes,” he clarifies, through gritted teeth. “I—I usually tie them. For him.” More silence, this time somehow more deafening. Buck inspects a stray line of grout until he can’t bear it anymore, then looks up for judgment. Chim’s eyebrows are sky-high. “You’ve been tying Eddie’s shoes?” he repeats, strangled and high-pitched. “Regularly?”

touching me, touching you by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (PWP, S6E7: Cursed | 7K | Explicit): Buck and Eddie wake up one morning able to feel each other's touch. They make the most of it.

"Hotshots." A Taylor Kelly Production. by dylaesthetics (Canon Divergent, Actor Eddie | 8K | Teen): Eddie Diaz, an ex-telenovela actor playing an on-screen firefighter in a hit procedural series, happens to stumble across a real-life firefighter, Evan Buckley, and is immediately smitten.

please, please, please by bookinit/ @bookinit02 (S8, Touch Starved Eddie, Getting Together | 8K | Explicit): or: buck doesn’t touch eddie anymore. eddie’s losing it, a little bit.

looks just like us (us without me) by TheGreenwoodArcher/ @joshwritesfics (S7E4: Buck, Bothered and Bewildered | 8K | Teen): or: Tommy takes Eddie on a date after the fight in 7x04, but Eddie doesn't realize it. Buck grows jealous anyway and makes it everyone's problem.

it’s not right (but it’s okay) by weewooforever (Infidelity, Post-S7 | 9K | Explicit): buck and eddie fuck nasty after tommy disappoints buck again.

🔥And Some Things You Just Can’t Speak About by icewhisper (Post-S7, Sexuality Crisis | 9K | Teen): Eddie is twenty-eight when he realizes he’s in love with Buck. He’s thirty-two when he finally faces what that means about himself.

🔥 a cold world for such a long life by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S7 | 13K | Teen): Eddie befriends Bobby's estranged older brother in a virtual support group for queer adults struggling to come out. The only problem? He has no idea that's who Charlie is.

WIP

Gentle On My Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Shannon Lives, Buck/Eddie/Shannon | 6/? | 37K | Explicit): In which Shannon lives, tells a lie, and sends hers, Eddie's, and Buck's lives down a very different path.

🔥 go and kill, go and die by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Zombie Apocalypse AU | 10/14 | 43K | Mature): The 118 are a group of survivors in a small California town in the wake of a zombie apocalypse. For months they've been isolated and safe. But the arrival of some new players, the search for some missing loved ones, will shake everything up and put their little team in jeopardy.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, Divergent Post-S6 | 137/? | 438K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

Podfic

🔥 [podfic] tell the whole wide world and this room by All_I_Ask/ @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove // fic by @hattalove (Established Buddie | 45-60min | Teen): "I talk a lot. It’s probably not fun to sit through for something you’ll just instantly forget." Eddie tilts his head. “Who’s forgetting?” in which we learn about fermented milk products, discover that dolphins are sex fiends, and realize that sometimes, it really is all about knowing and being known.

🔥 [podfic] i don't swim and you're not in love by be_brave13/ @djemsowhat // fic by @hattalove (S4, Getting Together | 3.5-4h | Teen): She turns to Eddie and says something else, but Buck is busy fighting the headrush he gets at the sound of Ana Flores calling Eddie and Christopher 'the boys'. Like they belong to her already. God, what’s wrong with him? What is this? or, eddie cooks, chris domesticates a slug, and buck tries to figure out why he hates his best friend's girlfriend. to everyone's immense shock and surprise, it goes badly.

Re-read

🔥 everything (nothing) has changed by bizarrestars (Post-S4, Love Confessions | 48K | Explicit): Buck breathes for a moment, then sets his shoulders. "Eddie, there's something I have to tell you." "Do you?" Eddie asks flatly, still alarmed and doing his best to hide it. "I would've never guessed." Buck swallows. "Eddie, I love you." "Are you softening the blow, or buttering me up? Because, I've got to tell you, I'm still very worried regardless," Eddie tells him. "No, you don't understand. I love you. I'm currently in love with you," Buck says as evenly as possible, and even then, his voice wobbles precariously there for a moment. He exhales. "You don't have to worry about it, though, because I've processed it and decided to—to find relief in telling you before moving on and moving forward." Eddie stares at him. No response at all. Well, at least he's not freaking out. — After Eddie gets shot, Buck confesses his love. From there, things get a little out of hand.

the one where buck finds out by weewooforever (Post-S7, Misunderstandings, Getting Together | 5K | Teen): “You’re — You’re over me?” Buck manages to choke out, looking towards Eddie with wide eyes. “When were you… “ He says, his voice barely above a whisper as he tries to make sense of this whole situation. “When were you under me?” or the one where buck listens to a voicemail that turns his whole life upside down.

🔥it's golden, like daylight by rarakiplin (gmontys)/ @hoediaz (S5, Getting Together | 8K | Teen): “Hmm,” Buck hums, and Eddie feels the vibration of it under his mouth. Buck’s nose nudges against the side of his head. “Have you thought about that?” Eddie laughs against Buck’s shoulder, unwilling to lift his head. “Thinking? Right now?” “Shut up,” fingers dig into his ribs, “I mean, would you want to? Be married again?”

#epic buddie fic rec #buddie fic rec #buddie fanfiction #buddie fanfic #buddie fic #buddie podfic

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i-may-be-an-emu · 23 days ago

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TELL ME ABOUT THE MEN!!!!!!

HELLO!!!

GLADLY :DD

THE MEN. :)

They’re called shoot from the hip (sfth) and are @shootimpro on youtube, tiktok, instagram, facebook, x/twitter, as well as on linktree, patreon and ko-fi.

They’re London based but have done shows outside london like in Scotland (Edinburgh Fringe) and even to Spain. They want to hopefully go to other countries in the future too!!

From left to right they’re Sam, Tom, AJ and Luke :)))

(this will probably be LONG so putting a read more lol)

Ok so they do improvised comedy and their shows have two halves (generally with a break in the middle) they play lots of short drama games in the first half and then improvise 20-30 minute (on average) plays in the second half, sometimes with another game at the end.

The plays are so much fun (they’ve got 38 of them up on youtube so far!!) and they’ve also released two full specials (full shows) which you can find on their channel :)

(just a note that for a few of the older ones (apart from the first one) they were filming on an iphone and just projecting their voices, the the audio and image quality can be hard to deal with)

they have SO MUCH CONTENT because during covid they did zoom-style improv shows with eachother and you can watch them as a patreon

they also have SO MANY VIDEOS that are just the regular public ones!!!! They upload short ones of the games and some 5-10min ones of the games too, as well as the long forms (plays)

Now some info about the guys :D

Samuel Thomas Russell-Holmes:

Birthday 21st July 1989 (35)

Married this year and expecting a baby!!! :)

wears a red flannel a LOT (less recently, but still a LOT, it’s his Thing)

he says some very risky things sometimes but also has the audacity to look shocked when the others do it lol

Fav colour is green

he’s 5”10

brown eyes

currently producing a radio show for the bbc called wing it (available in December!)

if he were a Disney Princess he said he’d be Rapunzel

VERY GOOD AT ANIMAL (specifically goat/sheep) NOISES

kisses Luke a lot lol (kisses all of them a lot, but specifically Luke- I counted like the madman that I am lol)

great at talking in Spanish gibberish, often paired with opening his shirt buttons

loves fantasy things

wrote an audiobook called “Evergreen”

his mother and grandfather are/were successful actors

Has a drama degree

Low spice tolerance

has eaten raw egg live on camera

can be a tad egotistical but we love him

Thomas Mayo-Woodman/Hodgson-Mayo:

HES SO TALL (this man is almost 2m tall- he’s 6”5.5 :0)

brown eyes

his birthday is 10th July 1989 (35)

Married to a drag king (@pipdream on insta, tiktok, youtube, ect.) who’s pronouns are they/them

Wrote a graphic novel (it’s called Future it’s about space lesbians)

literally one of the sweetest and kindest souls on this planet I’ve never met him but every time he says anything it’s like WOW OK YOURE SO NICE AND KIND AND WONDERFUL (everything I’ve heard from people who’ve met him is SO NICE)

SO GOOD AT IMPROVISING (specifically Shakespearian-style) MONOLOGUES

his favourite colour is red

has two english degrees (very good with grammar and words)

has adhd

makes a garbled choking noise very well (you have to hear it to get what I mean I guess lol)

has eaten a teabag live on camera

He’s the “dad” of the group

Very hard to make him laugh on stage (but he’s been laughing more, recently!!) and each one is treasured

so kind did I mention he is kind

lovingly called a squid or squidboi by the fandom because of one time he like stuck his hands in his sleeves and was like “I’m a squid”

does a lot of admin work for sfth and handles the finances (at least he did, they might have someone for that now I’m not sure) and takes care of the patreon

Alexander Thomas Jeremy (AJ):

Birthday on 4th November 1991 (32)

CONFUSION KING /aff (he gets confused easily but we love him for it)

He’s bald and gets made fun of for it RELENTLESSLY (again, lovingly)

Absolutely ANGELIC singing voice

Blue eyes

born in Manchester(UK) but grew up in France (fluent in French)

makes movies/short films on youtube!! He’s working on a new one now and you can find them @atjeremy on youtube (that’s also his insta and you can see stuff about his films there too!)

does a lot of the editing for sfth and has a lot of input into which longforms to upload apparently (all of them decide tho I think)

he’s such a himbo (/aff)

fav colour is blue

He’s 6 foot tall

On their covid livestreams would always forget to get costuming ready

his rapping is BEAUTIFUL (words that barely rhyme at all and make NO sense 😌)

can deliver GREAT one liners

so good at playing children it’s crazy

can do magnificent cartwheels and loves to jump on the others with no warning

lots of muscles but lost an arm wrestle against Tom

Thinks he can’t do an Irish accent but I think it’s pretty good

also has a drama degree

Luke Christopher Manning

Birthday is the 23rd October 1989 (currently 34 about to be 35)

Hazel eyes

hes not short but he’s the short-EST, 5”7.5

gets made fun of for his height a LOT (lovingly!!)

SO good at accents

so good at playing women

also so good at playing children

such a good actor overall

says THE MOST UNHINGED THINGS

people think he’s innocent (somehow) but he’s SO unhinged

took his pants off live on stage (wearing underwear but still lol) (AND it’s on youtube hahaha)

lives in Spain with his long term girlfriend (fluent in Spanish)

so much attitude in such a small guy (/aff)

often compared to Macaulay Caulkin looks-wise

plays bass guitar in a band

Teaches acting (to kids??) in Spain

also has adhd

also has a drama degree

His favourite film is back to the future I believe

So confident in himself (this is a very good thing)

people say he “doesn’t age” and looks really young but I personally think he does look his age

sometimes called “Luke Womanning” as a play on his last name because of how amazing all his female characters are

They’re all really close friends and met at uni and started doing improv around 13 years ago together! Started gaining popularity 2022 and are gaining more and more fans every day!

Um. Whoops I wrote a lot lol. (It totally hasn’t been an hour of me just writing this hahahaha)

anyway I love them so much :)))) (as you can probably tell)

anyway!

THANK YOU SO MUCH ANON THIS ASK MEANS SO MUCH TO ME :DDDDD

#shoot from the hip #Sfth asks #Shootimpro #thank you for the ask!#AAAAAAAA :)))))))#This is so nice #theres probably more I could say but tumblr almost killed this post three times cause it couldn’t handle the sheer power of my autism lol #so I’ll leave it be for now :)#Thank you so much anon #sfthposting #sam russell #tom mayo #alexander jeremy #luke manning #:))))))#long post

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briarrolfe · 1 year ago

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Recently, I was sent a job listing. It called for a graphic designer "to produce direct response static & video ads for various social media channels, such as Facebook, TikTok, Snapchat, and YouTube." So, even though it was asking for a graphic designer, it wasn't a graphic design job—it was an advertising/social media/videography job. The career I've dedicated eight years of my life to is the bit the ad referred to as 'static'.

Ever since, I've been thinking about this idea that video is the future, and also I have been (not coincidentally) extremely depressed. Not to be all "you kids and your phones," but...

In advertising, your consumer's attention is money. Video is THE most attention-demanding form of advertising and therefore the most bang for your buck. It's why Facebook fudged their own stats for the effectiveness of pivoting to video so aggressively in the first place. If your consumer is reading something—a magazine, a poster, a book, something on their phone—then they're still listening, and if something else demands their attention, they'll just look up. If they're listening—to somebody talking, to music, to a podcast—then their eyes and hands are free to do whatever they like. They can look at the world around them, which involves many forms of competing visual advertising.

Video is a media form that doesn't stop. It keeps talking when your consumer looks up, and then keeps moving to grab their visual attention again. The best method for advertising is one that a consumer has to exert energy to not pay attention to.

(—This is why I hate video so much as somebody with ADHD. When my dopamine and blood sugar are low, focusing past someone playing TikTok audio is hard enough for me that it hurts. I've never had the same problem with radio or with like... idk, billboards. And TV is kind of bad, but at least it makes predictable sounds, whereas every person who films a TikTok with sudden screams or yelling in it is, in my opinion, going to hell.)

This is why the UI for platforms like TikTok and Instagram have autoplay, algorithms that disappear things you've seen so quickly, no scrub bars, and don't have skip or pause buttons. Your consumer has to keep their phone in hand to keep swiping or scrolling to properly engage. If that consumer can't stop a video or go back, then the platform can train them not to look up until the video is over. Anxiety that a user will lose their place or not be able to keep up with what is happening is part of what keeps them from looking away.

This is also a reason to be suspicious of why so many tech companies are obsessed with VR in general. A phone that people have to hold and look at and listen to is pretty good, right? But they can ultimately still put it down when an ad plays. It would be way better if we could put the advertising somewhere that tracks and follows their eye movements so that they literally can't look away.

We all know that text is still a better, faster, and more information-dense delivery system. Sometimes I see people mourning the pivot to video because it's a worse way to consume information. They're right! It is! But social media platforms have NO INTEREST in providing their users with like, actual reliable information. If they did, then social media companies would have no interest in AI.

(—This is also why they have no interest in fighting misinformation on their services. People who get radicalised are very engaged platform users. And the people who radicalise them come with massive budgets for ad spend.)

All social media platforms want is to get consumers hooked on their content so that they'll continue to deliver ad revenue. Video is the best way of achieving that. That's why we're all pivoting to algorithms and video. That's why Tumblr Live exists and Snapchat miraculously has not died.

Anyway. I chose to become a graphic designer.

#graphic design #DON'T pivot to video. Just never do it.#source: I have worked in communications for five years #remind me to post about how Facebook farms what my old comms team called 'rage clicks' sometime #writing essays on tumblr dot com

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foxens-den-of-divination · 8 months ago

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Yes, Another Tumblr Oracle Blog!

Hi, yall! I'm Foxen. You may know my main account @the-fox-jawed-cryptid or my witchblr @the-fox-jawed-witch or my Witchblr Writing account @afledglings-guideto-witchcraft.

This is my Paid Divination blog and a place where you can find all of my other magical services.

First, what I offer and the prices.

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This first section is all general ADVICE related spreads. I will not answer yes/no questions, medical questions, time sensitive questions, legal questions, or relationship questions in these spreads.

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+$2 any additional card added to a spread.

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Either every week or month (depending on my energy and adhd), four FOLLOWERS will receive a free 4 card reading.

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Feedback is required. I will give 2 business days to submit feedback. After that, I'll remind you, and if none is given after 1 week, your name will be added to the Divination Grey List. (A list of anyone who has not given feedback to me that I share with other diviners.)

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If you wish to use any of the spreads that can be found on this blog, feel free to do so. I will not interpret ANY readings that you have chosen to do yourself.

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#witchblr #witch business #witch community #divination #foxens den of divination and magical services #foxensguidelines #tarot #oracle divination

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kabillieu · 2 days ago

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Long post about my big kid under the break.

We pulled our big kid out of his public middle school almost two weeks ago. In the month before we unenrolled him, he had missed at least one day a week due to school refusal. Mornings were nightmares of me trying to coax him out of bed. Most evenings he experienced (sometimes hours-long) meltdowns over homework. From his first day of school until his last, he did not have one good day. Many days were awful. Maybe most days were. The day where I decided he wasn't going back, he got into my car at pickup and he was distraught and stressed out and angry and despondent. He hadn't been allowed to go to the bathroom during his last class because of some sort of construction happening in the hallways, and when I asked him about homework for that class he said he didn't know because he'd spent all of his energy just trying not to pee himself.

I had known for a while that we were almost certainly going to end up homeschooling him, and I began to feel that I was sending him to a place that he found torturous just to satisfy my own sense that we had tried hard enough, that I had advocated enough for him. At his age, homeschooling is usually a permanent choice because it can be difficult to get homeschooled kids back into public middle and high schools.

But for whatever reason, that day was the day I just finally had had enough. I don't want to send my child to a place where he is lonely and agitated and angry and in pain. My child has level 2 autism, and while he has no intellectual disabilities, I have come to accept that he has different needs than other children and that this particular public school at this point in his life was harming him. He can't thrive there.

So we pulled him out.

We're doing something called de-schooling through the holidays. I have a loose schedule of a few things I ask him to do on school days, but most of his time is free so that he can decompress and begin to heal from the extreme amount of stress and pressure he's been feeling. At the beginning of January he'll start an online curriculum that he can navigate at his own pace. We will probably need to find him a math tutor. I'm sure there will be ups and downs.

Right now I'm trying very hard to help him make some social connections with other children near his age. He was in fight/flight/freeze mode the entire time he was at school and because of that he couldn't make any friends there. He'd also begun to experience some light bullying.

I found a micro school startup in my area that has a STEAM club. It's teeny tiny (just 2 or 3 kids) but he started that last week. Next week we have a meetup with another kid his age who is also autistic. I'm in several homeschooling Facebook groups now, and I found this kid's mom through one of those. In January he'll be starting an online D&D group for kids that is moderated by an adult.

And today he's playing Roblox with another ADHD/autistic kid via video chat. When we lived in Montgomery 7 years before, we happened to move onto the same street as a woman Dominic and I went to college with. A has a son who's about a year and a half older than our big kid, and he has a lot of the same issues + giftedness, which is also under the neurodiversity umbrella. My big kid and this kid were pretty good friends that year, but he and his family moved to Vermont a few years ago. When I realized I was probably going to have to homeschool my big kid, I reached out to A because she'd homeschooled her child too, and she pointed me to a lot of resources, which is great. I also helped my kid get back into contact with A's son, and they coordinated a time to play Roblox together.

I can hear them now from the other room, and my kid is obviously having a great time. He's socializing with another kid. He's making a friend.

I don't know what's going to happen with his schooling, with his future, with any of our futures. Dominic and I are very much rule followers, so to take our kid outside of the traditional education route and try this different path is--I cannot overstate it--beyond scary. But I do know that I couldn't continue to force my child to go to a school that was making him miserable. And right now I'm listening to him play with another kid and he's laughing and having a blast.

He's smart. I think he'll be able to, for the most part, follow a curriculum independently, as long as he's allowed to go at his own pace. We will add enriching activities alongside the curriculum and continue to help him make social connections.

I just want to do right by him. I'm just doing my best.

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bigmammallama5 · 7 months ago

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mammallama if you have energy how did you find your adhd dr? I know I could use one but I'm trying to fight the inertia of getting a dr because of all the experiences of previous medical professionals not listening to me. thank you for reading!

Hey, I've got a little energy! You get my one level seven spell slot for the day lol

I am very fortunate that I have a primary care doctor that takes my concerns seriously and pointed me in the direction of my current specialist. I also have two very wonderful best friends with ADHD who gently slid my wig back and told me "go get tested, you sound like me". I recognize not everyone is lucky to have doctors that listen to them so this answer will be based off of my limited experience and local healthcare in my state in America, so please keep these as general suggestions! And I know it's hard to advocate for your own health, trust me I get it lol, but please stick with it. It's worth it to get the answers at the very least so you can start adjusting.

So if you have a PCP try asking them for places that are in your insurance network that could help you get tested/write you a referral letter if needed. I would suggest first looking for a behavioral therapist that specializes in diagnosing ADHD (like mine does) and treatment. I can't get actual cognitive behavioral therapy from them but they help me keep track of my ADHD and navigate my medication stuff. The extra special thing about my doctor is she was also diagnosed as an adult, so she truly understands to a certain degree of what I'm dealing with. Looking at her during my first visit was like looking into the future of the person I can be with the right help. Having a doctor that has what you have is incredibly valuable.

If you can't find a specialist, I would suggest looking for a psychiatrist that specializes in diagnosing and treating ADHD. You can also get diagnosed by a psychologist but I don't think they can actually prescribe medications? But either of those professionals will be able to test and diagnose you!

If you have trouble networking, my therapist suggested looking on Facebook (I know I know) for local/state groups that can help you connect with doctors in your area. You'd be surprised at how ready people are to help others find the care providers they need! You may not even have to ask, there may be a list of medical professionals that you can look over.

I will warn you that depending on where you go it's going to probably cost a fair amount. Even with my therapist's office taking my insurance my testing was still over 400 bucks, but in the end it was worth it for me. I will also warn you that some testing can be quite lengthy from what I hear, taking multiple sessions depending on the professional you're seeing. My testing and diagnoses took a little less than three hours and that's why I'd suggest looking for an ADHD behavioral therapist first. They know exactly what they're looking for and know you're there specifically for that test.

Another tip I can give you is frame your reason for testing as simply needing answers to improve your quality of life. Have that in writing. Don't even mention medication other than "I would explore that if you deem it a viable option for treatment." Getting medication right now is difficult if not downright impossible for some of us, so I would frame your needs on getting yourself picked up and put together. That's really what you need first anyways. Answers.

Be warned ADHD may also come with a side of fries (other general disabilities like OCD/OCD tendencies, anxiety, depression, ect ect that are often the result of untreated ADHD).

ADHD is legally considered a developmental disability and protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act. Know your rights!

In the meantime I always suggest taking a look through https://www.additudemag.com/ for information about symptoms and research and all that stuff. This is a trusted source that my therapist's office shares with all of their patients! The articles are kept up to date as new research is made available and is laid out in such a way that it's easy for people with ADHD to read and navigate. It's also a great source for parents that have kiddos with ADHD, so pass that around if you know someone who's struggling!

I do hope that your past experiences with poor doctors won't keep you from seeking testing. I can promise you not all of them are like that, and I hope you can find someone who will listen to you and take your concerns seriously!

#ask me stuff!#adhd #long post #but yeah i promise not all drs are Like That #i have drs and surgeons in my family and while i am gonna have to kick the snot out of my younger brother for some shit im seeing budding #my older family members are very good and listen to their patients #theyre out there i promise #pointing out this is a US based perspective #so if you are not in the US i would go through the health care channels that are the equivalent of your care network!

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kennexara · 4 months ago

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sometimes i remember what year it is and i get a funny feeling in my stomach

come thanksgiving and it'll be a decade since i was asked to take a medical withdrawal from the the first university i ever attended. due to severe depression that was actually caused by using anxiety as a coping mechanism for undiagnosed adhd but. it would be another five years before that was figured out. one of the top 20 schools in the nation (a decade ago and today, according to u.s. news and world report) but their student mental health center couldn't figure out what an overworked community health center intake lady diagnosed in five minutes flat.

but i try to be over that, because getting angry about that doesn't really accomplish anything beyond wrecking my mood. no, the funny feeling is more because i'm not just alive but thriving and back then i couldn't picture my future. but here i am, with a mortgage and a cat and a job that pays more than my mom has ever made and my mental health better than it has ever been before.

sometimes the funny feeling is because it's been a decade since i talked to so many people that were once so important to me. i deleted my facebook around 2016 and so have no contact with anyone from my first year and a half of college. Oh, I have some phone numbers saved but it's been a decade and I've never had the courage to check. And the thing is I miss some of them sometimes. Or I at least wonder where they ended up and perhaps, selfishly, if they remember me and hope I ended up better and happy. I wonder if my straight best friend from that college, the one that I had a crush on (a crush that did NOT help my depression any let me tell you) ever found a nice catholic boy.

but today is maybe the first time the funny feeling was for a good reason. I rewatched captain america the winter solider on a whim and realized hey, it's been a decade since this movie came out too.

idk. something about realizing really good things can happen the same year as shitty things was weirdly healing. I think about next year, which will be a decade since year 2 of the shittiest period of my life. I'll also turn thirty, and I try to spin that as I'll be thirty when I once thought I wouldn't reach twenty but. it's still a weird feeling. but then today I remembered hey, rogue nation came out in 2015 too.

and while I don't feel confident saying marvel never topped cap2 (I rewatch thor ragnarok a lot and let's be real there's plenty of marvel movies i've never seen), I can confidently say mission impossible never topped rogue nation. (suck it fallout and let's not get into how much of a let down dead reckoning was).

idk. some move franchises may have peaked in the mid 2010s but I didn't. I've only gotten better with time.

#behold: my thoughts #remember how i used to tag personal posts with 'ignore me' instead of 'behold: my thoughts'?#GROWTH BABY

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thevagabondexpress · 1 year ago

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neurodivergent pastors. give me the goss on what that's like. like i have my suspicions, always have, but your parent...? i just need to feel the Vibe Of Pastor And All Things Related and your family fascinates me

Ooooh okay. Here's where I wish I could just pull up a couple videos of some of my mother's sermons, but a) I don't know how she'd feel about that, and b) I don't know where I'd find one. But I just know you've love the way she just sees things from a wholly different angle than most preachers I've heard. She has one where the tells the story of Jesus and the woman at the well . . . from the perspective of the woman at the well, and it's the story of a woman who's had a rough time of it and she's having a bad day and now she's got this unnerving stranger who knows entirely too much about her and she brings a whole extra layer of sensitivity into this woman's story. Or when she turns the story of the Iraelites' wandering in the wilderness after Egypt into a story of de-incarceration, and decolonialization: training these people out of the mindset that now that they've been freed, they've begun to think like masters. And what's amazing is she's not looking at it from an autistic or adhd perspective and yet she sees things so much the same way I would.

With both of my parents it's just a lot of . . . surprising sensitivity to not just the way that things need to move in order to create a better future but also how to translate those thoughts into something accessible, whether that's a long-running facebook blog or a sermon about baseball.

And the number of sermons about baseball that I have heard . . .

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my-autism-adhd-blog · 13 days ago

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ADHD & the Freeze Response

Future ADHD

#adhd #adhd post #adhd problems #living with adhd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #actually neurodivergent #feel free to share/reblog #Future ADHD (Facebook)

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rubyleaf · 1 year ago

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Went through my blog again for the funsies and discovered an old, old tag game from 2016. And boy, am I shaking my head at it. Not only is 17-year-old me hilariously and stubbornly convinced she's straight, she's also very self-deprecating and generally not in a good place.

So I thought: why not answer these questions again, over seven years later, just to see how things have changed?

So here goes. The update.

MOST RECENT:

Drink: Water! I have a glass next to me right now and I'm staying nice and hydrated :) Phone call: Mom, earlier this afternoon, to make sure I'm still healthy and haven't died from acute Moved Out And Living Unsupervised Disease. Shockingly, I'm alive and well. Text: Dad, joking about the Berlin lioness boar thing. I still refuse to believe it was a boar BTW. I don't know what it was, but those pictures do NOT look like a boar.

Song you listened to: Saosin – "You're Not Alone" Time you cried: You know, I genuinely don't remember. Might've been weeks ago. I barely cry anymore these days, except from laughter or the occasional tearing up over a heartwarming scene in a show.

Dated someone twice: No, and unless the circumstances were very special, I wouldn't. If the ship has sailed, it has sailed for a reason. Been cheated on: Single, thriving, in my lane, cannot be cheated on if I don't have a partner. Peace and love on Planet Earth. Lost someone special: Lost touch with many friends over the years. Staying in touch is still hard. But honestly, some of them turned out to not be that special after all in the first place and a lot have stayed too, so really, it's fine. Been depressed: Nah. Been drunk and thrown up: Still don't like alcohol, still don't drink ✌️ Your three favourite colours: Purple! And pink, and the third one…maybe red!

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

Made a new friend: So many. So so many. Fallen out of love: Yep! Laughed until you cried: Just this week alone! Met someone who changed you: I think so! Found out who your true friends are: Yes. And to the people who turned out not to be—thanks for making it easier to watch you leave right now. Found out someone’s talking about you: In the "bringing up my existence" way? Yes. Badly? No—someone probably did, but not my problem.

EXTRAS

How many people from your fb list do you know irl: What Facebook? Do you have any pets: Not at the moment. Hard to keep any in a dorm room. I'd like to maybe get a small dog someday though! Do you want to change your name: Not anymore. When I was little I used to hate my name because everyone kept misspelling or mispronouncing it, but now I like it even if people still get it wrong all the time. Sometimes it still feels weird and othering, in an irrational sort of way, but I can't imagine myself being called anything else. What did you do for your last birthday: Had drinks with some people from my orientation group in one guy's dorm apartment. Casually came out as bi over a game of Never Have I Ever. Wound up at a party even though I had an 8:30 AM class the next morning. Zero regrets. What were you doing last night at midnight? Sitting on my bed and hitting play on the brand-new Meet Me @ the Altar song that dropped last night!!! Name something you can’t wait for: MM@TA EU tour in October! I've been obsessed with them for two years and finally they come here to play some shows and the first time I saw the announcement I legit busted a lip in my excitement. Unfortunately not a hyperbole.

Last time you saw your mum: Last time I visited home—early May I think? What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Better executive functions so I struggle less with getting stuff done, especially uni stuff and household chores. Currently trying to do something about that, actually! If I'm really lucky I might get an ADHD diagnosis in the foreseeable future and maybe meds…? What are you listening to rn: Fall Out Boy – "We Didn't Start the Fire" Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Often. It's quite a common name where I live! What’s getting on your nerves rn: One word: THESIS. Which I for some reason struggle to do anything about. Blood type: Still unknown! Nickname: Several shorter forms of my civilian name. On here, Ruby. Zodiac Sign: Aquarius Pronouns: she/her Favourite tv show: At the moment: ATLA (and Legend of Korra), Ted Lasso, Good Omens. Probably more I'm forgetting. High school: Graduated in 2016! College: In my Masters! I have an undergraduate degree in law now :D Long or short hair: Long, down to my hips. I used to have short hair as a kid, but I’ve always wanted long hair. Height: 159 cm or 5′2.5′’. Do you have a crush on someone: I try to tell myself that no, I'm just very fond of the person. Platonically. What do you like about yourself: I'm creative and adaptable! I'm good at winging it when the situation requires it, and I usually get things figured out one way or another. I'm a hype woman for my friends, and I like the way I can find joy and excitement in all corners of life. Also, not to toot my own horn but I'm really proud of my style right now! Right or left handed: Right-handed. First surgery: None. Piercing: None. First best friend: Probably Rebecca, in first grade. It’s a shame I moved away, I wonder what she’s doing now. First sport you joined: Ballet, when I was five or six. Kept doing it until early fifth grade, then changed to horseback riding. First vacation: Probably to my grandparents’ vacation home somewhere at the North Sea. Don’t remember a thing though, I was one or something.

RIGHT NOW:

Eating: Nothing. Drinking: Water, still! I’m about to: Hopefully write a bit more for the mystery project 👀 Listening to: Meet Me @ the Altar – "Give It Up"

WANT:

Kids: Yes, eventually. I'd like a stable partner first (although if push comes to shove I wouldn't mind raising my kids solo), and most importantly I'd like to be my own person for a couple of years and not be bound by duty to everyone else. Travel, explore the world and myself, get all that out of my system so I can truly go into motherhood with no regrets. Get married: Yes, if I find the right person to do it with. Career: Study law and work for the EU or an NGO.

WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or eyes: Eyes. I don't pay much attention to lips outside of someone having a cute smile! Hugs or kisses: Kisses are nice, but I still prefer hugs! Taller or shorter: IDGAF. I still love my tall lanky noodle men, but I'm not picky. With women, even less so. Girl is taller than me? Awesome, great for being held. Shorter than me? CUTE. Older or younger: Around my age, rest doesn't matter. I'm at an age where anything between 20-30 is fair game, but any younger or older and it gets creepy. Romantic or spontaneous: A mixture of both. Nice stomach or nice arms: If the person is nice, their body will be nice too. It's an automatic process. I don't make the rules. Sensitive or loud: A combination of both! Troublemaker or hesitant: Secret third thing where they're chaotic but also too shy to really make a move.

HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: Does "someone I talked to all evening but didn't know before that and didn't meet again afterwards" count? Drank liquor: Tried a bit, same as everybody. Found it nasty. Didn't try again. Lost glasses/contacts: Don't have any to lose. (Given the way I've been treating my eyes: yet?) Had sex on the first date: I'm asexual and I refuse. Broke someone’s heart: Yes, and let's leave it at that. Turned someone down: I'm a woman existing in public. Having to turn down random men is a recurring part of my experience. Cried when someone died: Not really—I seem to shut down and go blank more than anything else. I used to feel guilty about it, but now I've learned that everyone processes grief and loss differently and it doesn't mean I care less. Fallen for a friend: Yes, repeatedly, it has yet to end well, and it will probably happen again.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: Mostly yes. There are some things I need help with before I can unlock my full potential, but one thing I've learned is that I always manage in the end. And once I get proper help, I have no doubt I'll be just fine. Miracles: I don't like to rely on them, but I do believe that unlikely good things can and do happen. Love at first sight: Not for myself, I need to get to know a person before I fall for them. I do believe in attraction at first sight though. Heaven: It's a nice thought, but whether or not it exists doesn't matter to me. Our task in life is the same regardless: try to be kind and treat others well and hopefully leave the world a slightly better place. Santa Claus: No, and never really have. My parents never claimed he was real; my Christmas presents always came from the family that visited on Christmas Eve. Kissing on a first date: Did it once, it was okay. I think it's one of those "take it or leave it" things—if the chemistry is right, sure, go for it, but it's definitely not for everyone in every situation.

#warning: VERY long post behind the cut #but also: healing! improvement! look at her; she's okay now!#(mostly—getting there)#personal #I'm just sayin'

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adhdthegame · 2 years ago

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Okay...

At least once a week? Maybe not...or maybe now. I dunno, we'll see.

Anyway, since posting my intro video I've reached out to folks in the ADHD and indie gamedev community. I wanted to see what other ADHD brains would like to see in a game like this and from the game dev community, asking about design ideas.

I made a survey (which you can fill out, too, if you're so inclined - I'd be happy for the feedback!) and posted on Twitter, Facebook, and a couple Discord servers.

And the feedback has been great! Some of it coming from folks I'm acquainted with, some from total strangers; regardless, it's great to see folks who show interest in the project and want to contribute to its success!

I'm keeping track of everyone who contributes - through this survey and any other channels of support in the future - to be sure to thank them appropriately and acknowledge their contributions.

WHAT KIND OF GAME SHOULD IT BE?

So, the majority is currently favoring a first-person walking simulator, akin to Firewatch, Dear Esther, Gone Home and the like.

I'm digging this, because that's how I've envisioned it for a while now!

This kind of game will help with gameplay immersion.

OBJECTIVE VS NARRATIVE

So this is...kind of a trick question. Well, not really...I don't know. I asked if people think it should be objective or narrative-based. The majority prefer objective-based, this meaning an emphasis on accomplishing objectives.

This kind of thing can near about be a 1-to-1 translation as accomplishing objectives - or day-to-day tasks - is a often a significant challenge for ADHD brains.

In a video game, the narrative is pretty much driven by an objective to accomplish. Whether it's to move to the right and reach the flag before the timer runs out while stomping sentient mushrooms and consuming super ones to inherit their super qualities, or to investigate an empty house to discover what's become of the residents, without a motivation or a goal, the player is left with...nothing to do, really.

So while they are inextricably linked, putting the focus on objectives help me in designing the game.

THE SETTING

My original plan was to set it in a sci-fi/fantasy world, and turns out the majority of respondents are down with that! The others are evenly divided, and I love that.

Another bit of feedback that's stuck out in the comment sections is people recommending going along with some familiar ideas, but to also deviate somehow, making it unique. So...that's going to be interesting. :)

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One more thing that's meaningful to me is one of the respondents commented on how they have a child with ADHD, but they're not making it public knowledge precisely because of the reason I want to make this game - they're afraid of the reaction, backlash, and assumptions made about their child if it were to be openly known.

My heart aches for this person. I identify with it, not only because of my experience of growing up with undiagnosed ADHD, but because I , too, have a child who most likely has ADHD due to genetics.

So that's where we're at.

I'll make sure to have another update right soon!

#adhd #adhd inattentive #adult adhd #indiedev #indiegamedev

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