#further away from both of us
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kinda related to previous reblog. i have to complain real quick
#so as i said my friend and i go and listen to goth bands playing here whenever theres an event#which is sadly pretty rarely#also the events are never just goth events they always gotta have metal or punk bands there too#which i dont mind but my friend fucking hates the specific genres of metal and punk bands that play at like technically goth events#ANYWAYS#my friend doesnt even live in the same city as i do but theres no scene in hers and im pretty close by so we use my city#me being indoctrinated to joining her when she wants to enjoy live music began with going to see she past away with her to a city a bit#further away from both of us#well. i had been to some gigs with her at that point already but they were a completely different thing so anyways#and then we also went and saw clan of xymox. was amazing.#anyways. they had this local to me band as an opener and i instantly fell in love with their music so it became extra easy#to drag me to whatever events. that i would have loved to go to anyways.#bc im a simple man i will say yes if you ask me to go and listen to live music with you even if i don't know the band or whatever#ANYWAYS. after that. we went to this one local to me kind of like a goth night#and there was this woman who was like. idk. over 30 under 40. but she was hanging out with some really drunk 18 year olda#and she saw us and was like omg i havent seen you two before you are so young let me introduce these kids to you hehe#i think she was desperately trying to be a bat mom#and idk. i just dont like her. but my biggest gripe with her is when she asked us about some bands#and we were like 'oh we saw clan of xymox last week' she fucking said. something about that gaining us 'scene points'#i dont care if it was a joke that rubbed me the wrong way so much#and it might seem like a small thing but yknow sometimes you just dont get along with someone for small reasons or no reason at all#last event we went to she was there again and regognized us and tried to introduce us to more teenagers#which. ok one of them was 20 and also kind of a co worker and someone ive done cosplay with so it was nice catching up#but still idk just. i hate disliking someone for no good reason. but some types of people just really manage to annoy me and i dont like it#next event is in december and i s2g if she comes up to as again. im sure shes just trying to be nice and let her teenager friends get some#friends but i dont want that and idk what my fucking problem with her is#but my main point was the fucking scene points comment.
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now that natlan is out it's tsaritsa yearning hours again because i am one nation closer to either being horribly disappointed or foaming at the mouth!
creator!reader w a little side of conflicted tsaritsa is such good food I can't not yap about it. a woman who has dedicated so much of her life to severing herself from "love" of all kinds and succeeding and. just being so confident that when she meets you she's bitter and angry and mean. because she can't stand you. she isn't supposed to love yet you worm your way into her heart anyway and you don't even know it.
especially in smth like an imposter au. she tells herself your just a tool for her to use but your treated like the Divine you really are, pampered and spoiled every step. tells herself it means nothing when she indulges you – let's you hold her hand in private, eventually let's you move aside the veil, just a little.
and she hates it. hates how easy it is to let you break down the ice she's built up for years.
all you do is smile and she feels like she can't breathe. because despite how violently she rejects love in all aspects, it always bleeds through eventually. she despises it but the way you brush your thumbs over her cheeks makes her bitter and warm and it infuriates her to no end.
she hates you and she loves you and she can't stand you and if you were ever taken from her she'd destroy every inch of teyvat if she had to go get you back.
and ironically enough I think she'd also be the one to initiate any first kiss. maybe she's still trying to convince herself it's just a fluke and itll make her realize it meant nothing, it means nothing. desperate to fix whatever you've done to her and instead it just makes it worse.
a horrible mess of a woman who gave up on love just to be confronted with it when she finally accepted it's absence.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#tsaritsa#new nation releases. i can only think abt the tsaritsa. checks out.#yearning so bad i cracked my phone screen but im still using it 2 make it everyone elses problem lol#this is kind of similar 2 another yapping session i wrote s while back but ehe#snezhnaya will ruin me istg#constantly torn between manipulative tsaritsa and tsaritsa who is nothing but tender because she is love. even if dhe rejects it#she is both and its horrible 2 try snd write like. okay.#soft tsaritsa is so tasty though....kissing your wrist in mock reverence before the archons#letting you snd you alone see her face beneath the veil. smug and horribly arrogant but so madly incomprehensibly in love it consumes u both#but also possessive tsaritsa is so 🤤#reverts to her old ways immediately. frigid ice cube until further notice. she won't confront them in front of you but lord#she is sending them to dottore STAT#shivering at the cold stare of the tsaritsa on your back knowing shes .7 seconds away from making teyvat enter an ice age#i hc her senses like taste/touch/smell r severely dulled. not related just a small hc :]#a fun fact if u will#soft tsaritsa is good but dhehjssjsjs tsaritsa being overprotective and possessive hits different rn.....#i need her to sling me over her shoulder and lock me away just let me bring my cat and heating pad im set#head empty tsaritsa scaring off any other wannabe suitors while acting innocent (no ones buying it bc her glare is MURDEROUS)#that and the floor is starting to ice over.#n e way 💤💤💤
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Ok so about yesterday's post, I'm rly rly grateful for all the attention n feedback, I'm glad ppl resonate with my analysis stuff and that they're happy to find someone who understands the characters, buuuuut Since it's my most critical post till now it's garnered a few counterpoints that I kinda wanna address.
The first one, and the one that I understand the most; the people that were telling me to not lose hope and that they could do something more with this.
I... Appreciate the optimism! I really do, and if you believe this then obviously I hold no ill will towards you and if you can keep looking on the bright side then more power to you, but... Really, I think the moment and the chance have already passed, unfortunately.
Yes, I am genuinely saying that, unless they pull a miracle, whatever they do next is just... Not going to land. Definitely not as well as it would have to have a better ending to the story we got.
Here's the main thing, really. For one... What is Burning Spice even gonna do to get one over Golden Cheese again? He's already just about entirely outmatched, and so anything they do next is just gonna feel like a repeat of what they already did in this update. Though more importantly, I'm concerned with the fact that they can't really do this again, we just saw Golden Cheese at her lowest point, actually on the brink of death, more heavily damaged than we've ever seen anyone in this entire franchise, we got extra development for both her and Smoked Cheese, and the Spice Army is kind of just... Not there anymore. No one other than Nutmeg Tiger really has any faith in Burning Spice anymore. The setting, the stakes, the characters, everything that made this story hold up (until its god awful ending) isn't repeatable, not without making it feel like we're just doing the same thing again. They can't match the sheer level of visceral brutality either, not only because again the setting is gone but also because it really won't hit anywhere near as hard the second time around, and even they have limits for how far they're willing to go with it.
That's just kind of the thing. The one thing that makes me so mad about how much this ending sucked. This entire story is one of a kind, you can't do this again, because if you try, then it's not gonna hit anywhere near as hard the second time around. Hell, it'd be the third time we've seen Golden Cheese in a low spot that she ends up pulling through and recovering from, and the second time (with Burning Spice) was so much more extreme than the first one which is part of what made it work, you can't do that again.
The framing isn't replicable. The active contrast between the two primary characters, the brutality and viscerality of it all, the active rejection of Burning Spice's ideals in a golden blaze of glory, the reinforcement of Golden Cheese's will through an adversary completely opposite to her, it can't happen again. This is why you don't fumble a story like this, because once you've shot the round, it's spent. There's no getting it back. If you miss the shot, no matter how potent the weapon, it won't do anything, and there's no getting that shot back. Specially because, like... Are we forgetting that we're not done with Golden Cheese here? Why waste more time on retreading ground that we already covered with her encounter against Burning Spice, when instead it would be much better spent later on focusing on her relationship with White Lily, and how she handles the whole Dark Enchantress situation? Sure, I have no doubt all the beasts are gonna come back, but I really, really don't see them getting entire stories dedicated to each and every single one again, specially involving their respective ancients, because... They've. Already lost. And if you try to set up the same matchups, it's just gonna feel like doing the same thing all over again. If/when they come back, it's most likely gonna be more short-form, akin more to a boss rush, I'd imagine, because the alternative is... What, exactly? Just doing their chapters again? A second time? For each one? It just feels really weird to think about, honestly.
Just... Everything here. Every bit of it. Every bit of narrative paralleling with Golden Cheese, Smoked Cheese, Nutmeg Tiger, Burning Spice and both of the respective kingdoms/armies, it was all contained in this arc, and you can't just do the same thing all over again, specially when the thing you've got set up next for Golden Cheese is a meeting with White Lily. Unless you plan to have Silent Salt and Burning Spice team up for a 2v2 against White Lily and Golden Cheese or... Something..? Completely taking away from the 1v1 fated duel kinda thing they've had going on this entire time..? I dunno, man. I don't see how they could salvage this. They had their chance, and they wasted it. Like sand, slipping through their fingertips.
Alright, that's the big one out of the way. I saw the comments and RBs bring up a few other points, so I'll address those now.
The first one, with someone posing the idea that she did take Burning Spice's Soul Jam, and that's why hers' changed color.
... What?
That's... That's not shown. Ever. Sure, you have an animation of her soul jam going over Spice's and eclipsing it, but... That's. Kind of it? It's never implied at all, and worse yet, it's directly contradicted by the fact Spice still has his Soul Jam. Like. It's right there. You can see it.
You could say maybe it's just a case of reusing assets, that they wouldn't make a whole new asset just for this one cutscene, but, uh... ... They did. It's this one.
It shows up in absolutely no other cutscene, only the one where he's about to get smacked by Golden Cheese. If his soul jam was taken not only would we have seen it (like we did both times it's happened to the Ancients), not only would he have probably noticed because that is very much a material object, but we would have seen it, like we do when both GC and Dark Cacao's soul jams are gone. So, no, he absolutely still has it. Undeniably so. You can't take someone's soul jam power without physically taking it, at least not that we've seen.
Secondly, a few comments/tags saying that it makes sense for Nutmeg Tiger to go back to Burning Spice after his defeat.
... I mean... Yeah, I guess? Technically?
It's... Not out of character. She is obsessive, absolutely to a fault, and she is incredibly stubborn. My main complain isn't that it makes no sense, and more that it's a bit of a wasted opportunity. More specifically, the fact that she went back to him with nothing about either of them having changed at all. It would have been super interesting to see how she'd react to seeing her god rendered powerless, to have him lash out at her despite her loyalty to him, to have Burning Spice's hostility and complete lack of care catch up to him and end up isolating him from absolutely everyone who served under him. To have her conversation with Smoked Cheese to be proven tangibly true, proving that yes, he would just discard her the moment she stops being useful. And, the best part? You get to keep her alive to have her process everything that just happened! Because, guess what, Burning Spice lacks basically all his power now, meaning he can't just kill her on the spot! Hell, if you really, really wanted to have a villain for a followup update, it could be Nutmeg Tiger, disillusioned with her former god's promises, deciding she'd find a way to become the next great destroyer, or something like that. Maybe she'd try to find someone else to serve instead to give her life some sort of purpose? Who knows! There's so many options you could go with, rather than just... Resetting everything back to where we started.
Really, this part of the whole thing is the least of my concerns. She's not the biggest player in this update, but I think she would have benefited heavily from the "Burning Spice gets his Soul Jam taken away" route in terms of potential development. Alas... There's a good chance we'll never get to know what that would have even looked like.
Thirdly and lastly;
The argument that it wouldn't be in character for Golden Cheese to give Burning Spice another chance.
Okay, this is somewhat minor. I need to emphasize; when I gave that hypothetical scenario at the end of the last post, I meant it as like... A long term thing. Not something to happen within the chapter itself. Besides, it's just one of many paths you could go with a jamless Spice.
... I'm still holding my ground on it, though.
See... We've got to remember here: Burning Spice's immortality is the exact thing that got him here. Take that away, and what do you get? A large man with anger issues and no special powers; and absolutely no one to cover for the newfound weaknesses of a mortal, since he's alienated and wronged absolutely everyone loyal to him. Not the Kulfis, or Nutmeg Tiger, or any of the spicelings would be left to help him. He'd be on his own, entirely. Why would Golden Cheese ever even consider helping him in any way, you may ask? After all he did, after all the bloodshed, physical pain induced, and complete lack of remorse for any of his actions?
Simple. For the same reasons she gave Smoked Cheese and White Lily another chance.
The latter specially! At the end of the latest Beast Yeast chapter, Golden Cheese decided she's ready to talk to White Lily. White Lily, who, as far as she and everyone else is aware, is pretty much responsible for her kingdom being reduced to nothing but ash and crumbs. Of course, on an objective level, White Lily is much more understandable, specially since she now exists as a separate person from Dark Enchantress, but... In the end, does it matter? Are the actions themselves any different? No, not really. The level of destruction and decay are still the exact same.
The main difference is, while White Lily would at most be hesitant to accept forgiveness and feel really really bad (like mortifyingly bad) about what Dark Enchantress did, Burning Spice wouldn't be interested in such a thing.
And, honestly? I feel like Golden Cheese would know this. And, at first, she'd have absolutely no interest in actually helping him. To me, she'd occasionally visit to see how he's faring, how this oh-so-powerful god of destruction is doing now that he's just a powerless little commoner, a mortal like all the rest, teasing him, finding entertainment in his position, while he can't do anything about it. She gave him the mercy of life, but that doesn't mean she's not gonna be a little shit about it and have her fun. And he can't do anything about it, either! Truly, eternal torture. Powerless, mocked by your enemy, made to feel small, denied the satisfaction of a proper fight or a warrior's death... Lol, get fucked idiot.
Eventually, it would probably turn into teasing him about how her kingdom is shaping up quite nicely, how happy everyone there is, how it's such a shame that his short-sighted and hostile nature prevented him from ever knowing such comfort and luxury, how instead he's here fighting for his life in the land that he once ruled.
And then idk he almost gets himself killed in the middle of a spice storm or something and she refuses to give him the satisfaction of a quick death so she drags his sorry ass off to safety much to his absolute livid rage and idk you know where this kinda thing goes. Both parties here hate each other. But I feel like sooner or later, it could grow into a very begrudging living agreement where he works for her, day in and day out, to make up for everything he did, and as payment for being given somewhere to stay. A destroyer, helping to rebuild and elevate a civilization he was so intent on destroying, how ironic is that?
And then yuri or something idk. That part is optional I just like the idea.
... Can you tell I'm a Dragon Ball fan? I'm all too used to absurdly evil villains getting another chance and becoming either significantly less dangerous or outright good.
Yes, I'm looking at you, Vegeta. You may not have killed a single earthling, but you did almost directly cause the death of 4. And then over time, through many, many humiliations, and finding yourself a woman who can somehow handle how much of an arrogant cocky bastard you are, with a temper matching or surpassing your own, you settled down and built something infinitely better than what you had when you exerted your power over those under you. Seriously, watch Dragon Ball Z, it's really good. It somehow makes a redemption arc for a guy who's blown up planets feel genuinely believable and engaging.
... Right, Cookie Run.
Yeah, I think it would be perfectly in character for GC to refuse Burning Spice the warrior's death he so desperately wanted (you know finding something that can destroy him), take his soul jam, and after a good while of having fun with watching him flounder about as a mortal, drag his ass over to her kingdom to work for her to compensate for all the shit he's done. And it would be infinitely more interesting than what they actually ended up doing.
And... I think that's it!
I think that covers everything I wanted to say regarding my last post on the update. This is probably the last I'll have to say about it of my own accord, though you can definitely continue the conversation through asks (Always open!). I'm still really mad at how bad they fumbled, but...
Hey, that's what fan-fixing is for, isn't it? This ending may have sucked, but don't let that prevent you from making a better one yourself, through whatever your medium of preference is. Go ham. Because there's a good chance whatever you have in mind is infinitely better than whatever the hell they're planning to do next with Burning Spice.
Go absolutely nuts. I'll be watching on, and potentially participating, if writing motivation ever strikes.
Cya'll.
#jester ramblings#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#burning spice cookie#golden cheese cookie#also someone just rb'd the post in question asking why she would want spice's soul jam#i don't think she'd actually use it at all. it'd be more taken as a cautionary measure stored away somewhere in her kingdom#as both a treasure and a way of preventing burning spice from doing any further harm in the future#yknow declawing and disarming him rather than killing him because that's basically the worst fate that could befall him specifically#i wanted to put this in the post but i couldn't find the room lol#so in the tags it goes
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something that far too few people--including other autistics--acknowledge about higher-support autism is the defenselessness that comes with it, namely when you don't have a high-quality caregiver or support system.
so many people only talk about the impairments that come with low-support autism, the things that you can easily cope with through self-accommodation, sensory aids, and understanding; so little attention goes out to those of us who can't help ourselves, at least not enough to remain physically safe and healthy on our own.
I'm visibly dirty (dermatitis neglecta) because I have anxiety attacks when I try to task-switch and bathe. nearly a quarter of My teeth are decayed because I go months without brushing. at the time of writing, I've lost over 3% of My body weight in the past month due to inertia preventing Me from eating more than once a day.
I can't simply use a schedule or set alarms, because I end up not acknowledging either of them (except to turn the latter off). the "simple fixes" that low-support autistics recommend offer little-to-no improvement for Me.
that's ultimately the difference between low-support autism and medium/high-support autism: someone with LSN can accommodate themself enough to stay afloat, whereas someone with MSN/HSN literally needs another person to do some or all things for them.
because of this, people whose caregivers believe they don't need assistance (My situation), believe their autism can be disciplined away, are too careless or busy to help them, and those who don't have and can't easily access a caregiver at all are left in a totally isolated position.
at best, either our caregivers' attitudes or our autism miraculously improve and we're able to get our needs met. at worst, we continuously suffer until we experience a medical crisis from the neglect or seriously injure (if not kill) ourselves for the same reason.
this isn't to say that autism--even higher-support autism--is all horrible, but I really do wish that more autistic advocacy focused on relieving this helplessness, rather than just the self-advocacy of low-support individuals.
#autism#actually autistic#neglect#ableism#I don't know where I can put this in the basic post but we also can't just call CPS/APS#government systems regularly neglect disabled people. many of us are no safer in government care than we are with our abusers#personally I'm a legally an adult and 'competent' so I would be allowed to choose whether I was removed or not. but I wouldn't want to be!#I don't want 'temporary housing!' I want an actual home away from here#not only that but I just don't trust the government to honor My autonomy ESPECIALLY since both My mom and I are POC#I'd rather not risk being abused further by engaging with a racist + ableist system. better the devil you know than the devil you don't#which is ultimately why we as a community need to focus on ways to help higher-support autistics other than just relying on the authorities#why we need mutual aid and free housing and other autistics/allies who are willing to actively help those with no/unreliable caregivers
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i know i won't be leaving here with you
#tricked yall. this isn't actually about thorsten and victor it's about those two rabbits from the opening scene of tödliche tarnung#tatort stuttgart#(that was a lie this is my thorsten/victor thesis statement)#are they GOOD for each other? debatable. did they spend 90% of their acquaintance lying to each other? absolutely. are they both really#competent in their respective fields and really good at working together when they want to? yeah. is there something more than a little#homoerotic about all of it?#yes <3#the thing about take me out is that it's a rival snipers song and it's a song about machinery and knowing only one of you is getting out of#this alive . the thing about take me out is that it's about the moment before you both pull the trigger#still very annoyed by the GAPING continuity fail in spiel auf zeit btw. i'm sorry you're gonna base a whole escape plan on victor faking#there being a daughter thorsten doesn't know about. when tödliche tarnung TOLD us that victor has a daughter and OH YEAH thorsten (or chris#is her GODFATHER#come on. guuuuuyyyssss#i like making vids that feel a little like they're spiraling. repeating the same scenes (but not quite the same moments) over and over#again until it resolves into something either further up or further down but not far away from where we started#flashing back and back unable to look directly at the key moment until it passes and it becomes possible to move on#i ALSO like sebastian's silly little gazelle hop in that scene right after victor saves thorsten's life. symmetry would have demanded i add#some sort of baustelle instead on exactly that beat but no damn you. not throwing out the silly gazelle hop
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seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing
#I fucking. missed d&d tonight by accident#I straight up forgot#and just didn't show up to the session#my sleep schedule is absolutely fucked#I should be sleeping now but brain won't shut up#my creative output is the lowest it's ever been and I've been in some level of depressive funk since like early january#I am just deeply unfathomably exhausted#like mentally and spiritually#all the time#my memory and sense of time are both shit#my spelling is worse than it used to be for some reason??#I really don't know what to do to make my brain start functioning again it's frankly worrying me#I couldn't even handle college so it should come as no surprise that I'm reacting poorly to the world being a perpetual screaming trash fir#and yet#idk it's been hitting again lately that I have never succeeded at anything in my life and just keep tripping and falling up for some reason#fucking everyone is in hell right now and with my overall success rate I should be dead in a ditch but I'm actually doing spectacularly#due to a series of improbable accidents and weird circumstances that happened to turn out in my favor instead of completely fucking me#aside from the looming spectre of my various failed attempts to have some kind of life trajectory#it just doesn't feel like this can keep up forever#like surely at some point the luck has got to run out I can't just keep living like some kind of folkloric trickster archetype#but my motivation and sense of purpose kind of died after the last failed attempt so I'm still just here#doing whatever this is#maybe I should drive out to the coast#maybe staring at the ocean would fix me I've been away from it for too long#I mean it can't make me worse#I should wait until further into summer though so I don't have to drive back in the dark#everyone around here has trucks with those goddamn LED headlights and I've got a little sedan that's directly in their blast zone
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On the verge of doing a deep dive compare and contrast between both Wicked and Evita being adapted for films because the parallels are RIGHT THERE. In this essay I will
#that same twenty year gap between the shows and the films though#STARTS WITH A DEATH ANNOUNCEMENT OF A MORALLY AMBIGUOUS PROTAGONIST#(i joke. the stage/film version of wicked really isn't even a little bit morally ambiguous#aaand the many many diplomatic negotiations with both Argentina and madonna about preserving Eva's image)#something something Glinda in the second half of Wicked channeling expensively dressed blonde political figurehead#literally the only two musical soundtracks i know inside out#but hilariously i imprinted on the film of Evita at an impressionable age and the show didn't get a west end revival for another decade#ironically that was 2006 when i also saw Wicked for the first time#more importantly the film of evita is based on the concept album rather than the show (and later productions use some film inspired changes)#and wicked the film moves even further away from the original book than the show does#i just have a lot of thoughts okay#and i really do have a terrible fondness for the heightened sepia nostalgia visuals of Evita it's a genuinely beautiful film#alan parker knows his shit#is it ~good~? i mean idk that that's quantifiable#i find it more watchable than the 2006 show revival#(also. also. Antonio Banderas. that is all.)#i think it uses screen space and the hinted at spaces beyond the stage much better than Wicked does in the film version#also? Evita is just allowed to be consistently snarky (because Che) and they kinda... stripped some of the snark from Wicked for the film.#i remain baffled by Choices.#(my new favourite Evita trivia is that both Meryl Streep and Michelle Pfeiffer were signed to star at various points and the CHOICES)
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Sing, sing, won't you sing for me? Beast in your belly, you've got to let it breathe Breathe for me
#aliasedit#alias#irina derevko#julian sark#sydney bristow#userthing#tvarchive#irina x sark#irina x sydney#sark x sydney#isplus#ssplus#myedit#au where irina took sydney with her during the extraction#love it when irina takes sydney with her and it results in sydney and sark becoming carbon copies of each other.#both under complete irina's control. but what if we take it in a different direction?#what if irina still wanted to build her criminal empire but keep sydney sheltered and completely unaware of it.#while still fully involving sark in it from a young age. what if sydney and sark grew up together but in two different worlds.#keeping sydney out of it helps to ensure that the chances of sydney and jack crossing paths again are minimal.#because jack might and WILL take away irina's control over sydney. it's better for him to believe that sydney died when she was a child.#better for sydney to believe that her father never loved her.#while sydney wasn't conditioned into becoming a killer like sark was; she's still very much a prisoner.#who's been manipulated and lied to her entire life. and how would she feel after learning the truth.#one thing to learn that your mother runs a criminal organization. entirely different to learn that the person you grew up with;#the person you remember from the time when he was still different; was taken apart and put back together and your mother is responsible.#I PROMISE BROTHER YOU'RE SAFE WITH US. he was not in fact safe.#bonus points if sydney was the one who brought him to irina. was the one who found him. was the one he first met and first trusted.#sydney leading sark to the slaughter without knowing it?#irina then making sure that they will grow further and further apart and won't be united against her?#i wonder what lies she's telling you about me to make sure that we'll never be friends!!!!!!!
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Absolutely love your art. I want to nom it.
Also, Hollow Heads Siblings my beloveds,,,
Theyre the doomed siblings ever its not even funny
#Oouugh i have thoughts abt the hollowhead siblings. How theyre so intricately tied to eachother since their birth but they'd be#Eachother'd downfall. Esp when it's Dark and his relationship with the others#Dark would never understand what chosen went through. Mainly bc i think chosen is used to fighting his internal battles on his own#While he was in captive as an ad blocker. He loves Dark. He's grateful for Dark bc without him he wouldn't be free#But Dark isnt exactly someone reliable enough for Chosen to get the necessary healing he wants and needs#But that won't stop Dark from trying to fix him. Creates the virus for revenge. As chosen watches his brother spiral and spiral#As he watches him drift further away. Unable to get him back without a shouting match. As he watches with his heart heavy and cracked at-#Their stiffed interactions and strained relationship. He can't remember a time where they shared geniune laughs.#Then tsc coming came and changed everything.#Because this is someone who went through Chosen's pain albeit a lil differently. Someone who knows. Someone who /understands/. And this-#Someone is so much more younger than them and had to go through that pain in such a short amount of time since their birth#He sees himself in them. And he's rather walk up to alan demanding to get his hands cuffed than let tsc fester in that pain.#So tsc became chosen's priority. Healed eachother in many ways than one and are at echother's beck and call if need be.#As for Dark. I think he'd manipulate tsc into using him for his revenge. After stalking out his code and finding out about his potential#And TSC cant help but fall for his manipulations. Since this person is very very important to Chosen and they want so badly to impress-#Them both. They agreed and overtime grew to love eachother. And overtime Dark shifted his goals just a tad bit. Getting TSC more and more-#Involved. Since hey if Chosen doesn't like touching alan with a 10 ft pole why not let this kid do. And TCS agrees to this thinking that-#This is it. This is can finally heal them completely. Finally out of sight and out of mind. Finally can't live without the pain lingering#And chosen watches them with a sense of deja vu. At loss at what to do and so so afraid to lose two of his lil siblings#Then shit hits the brick UBSJDBSJSN#They make me so ill im not even kidding when i said theyre so so very very doomed!!!!!!!!!#This is abt the au btw BAHHAHAHABHA
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tell me that the first night we get of them post-David, joel sleeps on his right side and ellie lays across from him so he can hear and see her. please.
#listen!! we’ve gotten him on his right side facing away from her and on his left side facing her!!#but not him laying on his right side AND facing her!! CMON CRAIG#it’ll show their relationship evolution too I think#ynow not looking at her but having his good her out for safety#like early them#and then him with his good ear down but facing her#a little further in their relationship#and then when their relationship is solidified#it’s the best of both worlds#the last of us hbo#tlou spoilers#joel miller#ellie williams#joel and ellie
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why do you gotta tell me the same thing THRICE if it's still not out for delivery!!
#leo.txt#it's EXACTLY 15 kilometers away from my home by car! i checked!!!!!! you are so unserious i swear to god#fedex denmark do you not deliver on thursdays or fridays??? hm???? im pretty sure you do??????????????#like come on im this close to just walking out to your storage facility and pick it up by myself! and i'm a lazy asshole with adhd!!!!#denmark is so teeny tiny you could just like THROW THE THING and ill catch it with my mouth like a dog with a frisbee ITS NOT THAT HARD#this package is essential to my life! not really! but you ARE actively killing and murdering me and kicking me in the nuts by withholding i#and yknow what????? you guys don't even deliver it to my house half the time anyway!!! you just get confused because theres 2 doors#and youre like 'lol whatever not my problem' and send it to the kiosk instead!#BUT you never even send it to the NEAREST KIOSK THAT'S LIKE 2 SECONDS AWAY#you ALWAYS send it to the one that's WAYYYYY FURTHER AWAY FOR SOME REASON#what did the other poor storeowner do to you??? why do you hate and mistreat both of us so? isn't life hard enough as it is?#we literally PRINTED OUT A SIGN and TAPED IT TO THE GLASS OF /BOTH FRONT DOORS/#with INSTRUCTIONS FOR MAILMEN#telling you that if the package is too big to fit in the mailbox to the rightmost entrance#then just CALL THE DOORPHONE and you'll immediately be let inside#so you can leave it in the entrance!!!!#WE MADE YOU A SIGN! IT'S FOR YOU!!!! THAT WAS SO NICE OF US#and yet you still just leave us in the dust (THE DUST???) (the DUST.......)#and whenever one of my packages gets sent to the kiosk anyway IT OFTEN TAKES SEVERAL DAYS FOR MY LETTER OF NOTICE TO ARRIVE#/AS A PHYSICAL PAPER LETTER. IN THE MAIL. BY YOU/#LITERALLY 1984#SEND POST
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Seeing so many people putting Azula and Zuko against each other bothers me a lot, because that's literally what Ozai did. How can you guys not see that? It's canon
Azula and Zuko were both terrible to eachother in multiple occasions (edit: actually, Azula was terrible to Zuko, but I didn't wanna get jumped by Azula stans so I made it seem like they were both bad. Sorry about that and thanks for correcting me), but they're both traumatized children fighting a war that started before they were even born. The war made them that way. Ozai made them that way
Azula was horrible to Zuko for most of his life, and that's canon. You can't deny it. But at the same time, it MOSTLY wasn't her fault
So, we know how Ozai clearly liked Azula more than Zuko did. But why is this? Zuko may not be as good as Azula in terms of bending, but he's not a bad bender. Ozai likes Azula more (not loves; likes) because she acts the way he wants her to act. She's cold, mean, calculating, manipulative and supports the Fire Nation. Zuko is nice, he asks too many questions, struggles with his emotions and can't seem to stfu (I know I sound mean saying that but that's literally canon. That boy cannot, for the love of god, shut his fucking mouth up)
Ozai made Azula be more like him. Zuko gets his kindness from his mother
And on the topic of Ursa, she canonically loves both of her children, even if she prefers Zuko due to him being less like their abuser. We never see her calling Azula a monster, besides of the scene where she says “What is wrong with that child?” OUTSIDE OF HEARING RANGE and right after Azula did something Bad™ (forgot what it was sorry). This is why I believe that Ursa never directly told Azula she feared her: Ozai told her she did. Ozai spent a lot more time with Azula than he did with Zuko, which was very easily an opportunity to poison her mind even more. And how did he do this?
By telling her everyone hated her.
He isolated her, made her cold and unforgiving, so that she wouldn't have any “weaknesses” like Zuko did. He used her as a means to abuse Zuko. He told her Zuko and Ursa were weak and that they both feared and hated her
Zuko would be right to be angry at Azula for treating him the way she did,but he still should know (and he DOES know, it was literally the main theme of his redemption arc; realizing that his abuser was the one at fault and not him) that the one at fault was Ozai. Same with Azula; it wasn't Zuko's fault nor Ursa's, Ozai is the one that willingly chose to destroy so many people's lives because he wanted power
And I'm pretty sure Zuko and Azula don't hate eachother like many people believe them to do. No, they love eachother, but ofc Ozai fucking ruined their relationship bc he ruins EVERYTHING
Zuko is sad that their relationship turned out to be that way. Zuko wants them to be better, to do better. Zuko wants them to be happy. But Zuko has also grown up with a version of Azula that could never make mistakes and that was mean af. Zuko won't be able to have a perfectly healthy relationship with his sister ever because of how he was made to think of Azula as perfect, and because Azula was made to think of him as weak
So, please, don't pit them against eachother. Don't compare the abuse they went through (seriously. Doing that is disgusting). Don't bring one of them down to make the other look like a little angel that does nothing wrong. They already suffer because of that enough in canon. Leave my babies alone
#but really. the only person that was actually abusive in the fire family was ozai#ozai used his daughter to torment zuko and ursa; ruining her life and mental health in the process#and ursa wasn't the greatest mother but c'mon. she was trapped with a man she was forced to marry#she was literally taken away from her home and most likely SAd by him multiple times so they could have heirs#and YES it was SA. ursa did NOT want to go with him. she didn't want to marry him#and she definitely didn't want to have children with him#but she still loved her children so much#she did all she could. especially considering her poor mental health at the moment#she tried#so don't come to me with any of your “ursa didn't love azula and she was a terrible mother” bullshit#ursa loved BOTH OF HER CHILDREN#she showed favoritism over zuko because azula was mimicking her worst abuser's actions#and yet she still tried to show azula love and appreciation#but ofc ozai fucking ruined that#ursa never directly told azula that she feared her#i 100% believe that ozai told azula ursa hated her to isolate her even further#also azula wouldn't be in the wrong to be angry at zuko for leaving#the first time? yes she'd be wrong because he didn't leave he was kicked out#the second time? well. she is a 14 year old girl#she probably saw Zuko's betrayal as something more personal#AND AGAIN!!#azula is allowed to be angry. she's allowed to have feelings#but she needs to know and understand that her miserable life wasn't zuko's (or ursa's) fault#in the comics (yes i know they're terrible don't come at me) it's shown how she blames everyone but herself and ozai#she says ursa was the one at fault. she antagonizes zuko and attempts to make him more like ozai#she also antagonizes kiyi (her half sister)#she antagonized a lot of people#atla#oh and abt what i said before. azula WAS abusive. it was Ozai's fault but she really was abusive#sorry if i made it look like i was denying it
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the saying about how the grief never gets smaller. yeah
#turns out my mom (stepmom) never adopted me and my brother#due to then we’d stop getting dead birth mom’s social security#(this is proof I was stupid as a child because I did know that adoption was a court proceeding I just thought I’d forgotten going to court.#plausible given the general state of my memory of that time of my life. but still)#anyways she wants to legally adopt us now which both me and my brother are happy about we love her very much#but when you get adopted you get an amended birth certificate with the adoptive parent on there instead of the birth parent#so my birth certificate won’t list my birth mom anymore.#and I won’t have a single piece of paper left to prove that my mama was real and she was alive in this world.#it’s kind of a small stupid thing to be upset over but it’s also like. visceral#it just feels like every year I get older I get further away from her.
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This is also basic feminism. Even just 7 or 8 years ago, it used to be very normal in progressive-leaning circles to get out of the gender binary and from gendered expectations in general (don't you remember being taught as kids "there are no boy things and girl things, only things"? I swear I repeated that dozens of times) without that meaning anything about your own gender, just about personality and personal taste. Why have basic concepts like this been so left behind in the last few years?
Full support to OP! Cis people aren't condemned to following the strict social-cultural rules of gender roles and expectactions.
I’m a cis man sure but i also wanna opt out of the gender binary. None of that shit is my fault or my responsibility and i don’t want any part of it
#this seems concerning to me that so many people forgot#i have been told I'm not a woman by my friend who is a super strict mormon qanon believer and by my leftist friend who graduated#in gender studies#both of them saying it's because I don't wear make up and don't dress up#my closer friend (the 2nd one obviously) told me I'm probably non binary because I don't follow the strict gender roles of women#like ????? you realise how we've been fighting for soooo long to not have to do that#I'm literally just living leave me alone#btw the mormon one just meant I was doing womanhood wrong and that I will be a child as long as I don't do these things#my closer friend saying I'm probably a whole other gender is the one that felt more invalidating and even further away from truth#sure it can be a sign for some people. but stop imposing even stricter gender roles for the rest of us tf#💬
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Here's a funny little story about disability accommodation.
So I'm a bit deaf. Like...I have a prescription for a hearing aide but don't own one kind of a bit deaf. And I used to work at this noisy ass addiction treatment clinic. So even in my office I relied a lot on lipreading.
So one day I'm working with this client, and she's getting more and more upset and shut down, no matter how I try to steer us onto a calm, relaxed subject of conversation. And I can't figure out why the conversation has gone so far south.
And then I realize I am sitting at a buckwild angle in my chair, leaning waaaay over to the side. I'm almost falling off this chair. I look like a total goober.
And then I realize I'm doing that because I'm trying to lipread this client, who keeps turning further and further down and away from me. I probably would have noticed sooner but lipreading is actually kind of hard and I was focusing on noticing her upset rather than my body language.
And then it clicks.
She thinks I'm leaning like this because I am being a passive-aggressive asshole who is trying to force/shame her into making eye contact with me. I'd known this client enough to know she hates eye contact- possibly autism, possibly anxiety. Always possible it's both or something else.
I sit up straight and say. "Oh! Hey, I don't give a shit about eye contact, I'm trying to read your lips so I can understand what you're saying to me."
Instant vibe change. She relaxes, and sits upright comfortably in her chair, looking about a foot to the left of my head, so I can see her face clearly but she doesn't have to either fake or evade unwanted eye contact.
From then on things go a lot smoother, and we can get some good work done.
One side benefit from normalizing accommodations and reducing barriers to them is that it allows for low-stress conversations about what everybody needs in order to fully participate in an interaction. If I hadn't named the need I was trying to meet, she wouldn't have realized she could have her need met as well.
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HORNY BRAINROT.
☆ includes: aged up! various characters from bnha
☆ warnings: 18+ content, reader is gn or fem depending on the scenario, drug use (weed & alcohol), somnophilia (consent given prior!!), nsfw. not proofread
thinking of izuku coming back home after a long day at the agency; he bends you over the kitchen table you were both about to eat on, and he skips dinner and goes in for dessert between your thighs.
sucking on eijirou’s cock desperately while he pushes your head down and tells you to take it. when he gets close, he yanks your head off him and you switch to jerking him off, your eyes closing as his cum sprays on your face. he groans loudly when you sweep your fingers across your wet skin and then suck on them, looking up at him innocently.
always a lover of public sex, dabi fucks you in alleyways, on rooftops, behind cars at night, and all across the city. he especially enjoys taking you from behind, your back pressed against his chest and his hand wrapped around your throat — he often fucks you like this in sight of the sky during the #2 hero’s patrols.
sometimes hitoshi can’t sleep, so he gently pulls the blankets away from your sleeping figure, admiring you in the dark. he’ll kiss your tummy, hips, and pelvis, then peel away your underwear, his tongue rushing to taste the sweetness between your folds. when you cum, you moan as though you’re in a dream, rarely waking up — occasionally he’ll make you cum so hard you wake up gasping his name.
keigo finds himself feeling overwhelmed when you ride him, his eyes rolling back and his entire body shaking each time he sees your greedy pussy swallow the whole length of his cock. as he unravels more and more, his wings represent how he feels with their wild movements. when he cums loudly, his wings rush in, wrapping around the both of you, pulling you close to him.
despite his shy demeanor, tamaki is a FREAK. he’ll have you sit in a chair, blindfolded, limbs tied to the back and the legs. then, he’ll tease you with kisses and touches, lightly slapping your thighs if you try to pull free to touch him. after a long while, he’ll spread your pussy open and spit onto your clit, then tease you further.
speaking of spitting, katsuki enjoys spitting into your pussy as well, or making you spit onto his cock to lube it up for sex or jerking him off.
i offer u: denki + hanta tag team. hanta’s on his back, your back is on his chest, his cock is stretching out your ass. while he’s thrusting up into your ass and holding you close, denki’s fucking in and out of your pussy with his overstimulated cock. his cum drips from your cunt and trickles down hanta’s cock, adding more lubrication. a threesome with these two would be insane because they would try out every position and cum once from it before stopping.
despite hating it when you edge him, shoto loves it. he’ll sigh shakily, hissing out, “ah— god, make me cum already, stop fucking with me!” but when you let him get real close, he begs you to stop and edge him. it’s confusing but ultimately he enjoys it, and always cries when he cums after edging.
drinking with katsuki always gets rowdy; he’ll show you off, get jealous more easily, and fuck you harder. after a night at the bar and way too many shots, he hops into an uber with you and heads to an expensive hotel instead of your home. katsuki books a big room, the one with the best view of the city and streets (it’s also 2-4 stories up from the lobby). when you get into the room, he practically rips your clothes off, pushing you against the big window overseeing the people and cars beneath. then, he fucks you right against the window, your tits pressed against the glass.
dry humping with eijirou in his agency office with an unlocked door, his hard cock rubbing against your pussy through layers and layers of clothing. when his precum is dripping through his underwear, and your panties are soaked with your slick, he removes whatever’s in the way, besides your underwear. when you start to get loud as his clothed cock creates more friction against you, he pulls off your wet underwear and stuffs them into your mouth, saying, “shh, baby. you have to be quiet, okay? don’t want any of the staff coming in, right?”
sharing a joint with keigo on the balcony of your shared apartment, plumes of smoke swirling around you as he spreads your legs. he always enjoys making out with your pussy before he eats you out, taking your folds and clit between his lips as he drags his tongue against you. he stares up at you with reddened eyes, desperate for your approving moans and facial expressions.
being fucked doggy style by izuku, either in your pussy or ass, as he praises you and your beautiful reflection in the mirror. “oh, you’re so gorgeous.. make me feel so damn lucky every time i look at you.” if you refuse to look, he leans over you, his pecs pressing into your upper back as he tugs your chin. he demands, “watch yourself cum” or “if you look away, i’ll stop pounding you”
shoto always cums within a few minutes of 69ing with you.. the way you desperately hump at his face and gobble down his cock always proves to be too damn much for him. he used to feel embarrassed, but now he just pushes through the overstimulation and adjusts you how he likes, slurping at your pussy loudly as you moan on his cock.
sexting with denki during his work hours, and sending him sneaky photos of your tits/ass/pussy when you know he’s busy. he’s always so quick to read your messages, and he rushes to the bathroom to hide his boner in a stall. he texts you to tell you what he’s gonna do to you, how desperate he is, or he’ll send mirror selfies, his hard cock visible through his pants.
phone sex with dabi, who easily makes you torture yourself. and god, does he sound good — he tells you what to do, rewarding you with his moans/groans or pictures. he’ll talk you through your orgasm, demanding that you keep fingering yourself or stop to ruin it. if you sob over his instructions, he’ll briefly reassure you, and then tell you to shut up and do what he says (he reminds you to be a good girl/slut or threatens to not fuck you).
god.. hitoshi loves filming you going dumb on his cock. most of the videos in his ‘us vids’ folder start off with him praising you as he moves the camera around your body, capturing every inch of you. “so pretty, god damn.” as the video progresses from gentle to rougher, his hand is wrapped around your neck, squeezing enough for you to gasp often. you’re a mess, babbling pleas as you cry his name, eyes rolling back and drool slipping from the corner of your mouth. by the time he’s cumming, you’re begging for him to fill you up, not a single other thought in your head. later, still filming, he thumbs away the saliva at the corner of your mouth; he kisses you and asks if you’re okay.
food play with tamaki, who eagerly gobbles strawberries off your tits, or the whipped cream designs all over your pelvis. even after your skin is free from all the sweetness or its residue, he licks you hungrily, then starts to bite hickeys into your skin. he blushes when you pinch one of his sensitive ears between your fingers and give it a tug — “tamaki, put your tongue to good use and eat me out.”
#kurooh#bnha smut#mha smut#mha x reader#bnha x reader#shinsou x reader#shinsou smut#kirishima smut#kirishima x reader#dabi smut#dabi x reader#hawks smut#hawks x reader#deku smut#bakugou smut#bakugou x reader#deku x reader#amajiki x reader#amajiki smut#sero smut#denki x reader#denki smut#todoroki smut#todoroki x reader
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