#funnybone au

[panie-wanie-dean-bean]

SDJ master list

All name specific and au tags will be below. The tag list also has tags for aus I no longer write for so you can have fun exploring my old shit if you want lol

Cult town au: an au where you're the child of the founder of a cult and also a god

Hybrid au: an au where you are a very successful business person who adopts more than a handful of hybrids

Minecraft hybrid au: an au where you live in minecraft and meet a bunch of mob hybrid boys

Bitty au: an au where all the boys are the size of dolls and you adopt them

Milk au: an off shoot of hybrid au with the same lore but all the boys are cow hybrids and you're their farmer/owner

Lovely leeches: an au where you serve magical drinks to the bois as demons

[vypridae]

"he's going to watch something dumb, xanzen do you want some content??" "SOMEBODY SEDATE ME!!!!!"

[bryony-rebb]

Today I am daydreaming about an AU in which the fall of Cinq did not happen. I’m finding it very entertaining, although it is not something I can fathom ever writing. Initial thoughts:

-What would Zechs be like? Not Zechs, for a start! XD Like, that event is such a formative part of his personality, what would be same about him and what would be different? I imagine he’d still have a strong capacity for navel-gazing haha. But what would his relationship with his parents be like? His relationship with Relena? I’m very intrigued about their dynamic if they hadn’t spent their entire lives apart. Would he still have become disillusioned by the idea of pacifism? I can imagine that he might still have met Treize socially at some point and been intrigued by his philosophy of warfare in a classic teen rebelling against his parents kind of way, causing a lot of parental remonstrations and finger wagging. But joining OZ? Not terribly likely. So...

-Does that mean Noin would be OZ’s hotshot pilot of choice? FUN. And if she in turn wasn’t shaped by her close friendship with Zechs at LVA and his sob story about the Alliance, how might she be different? (And how would I work in my beloved 6x9 subplot? lol) She’d still have her love of outer space and her distaste for needless loss of life I expect, but I can kind of imagine the whole nurturing side of her personality developing very differently without Zechs and then her cadets bringing that out in her. Could she in fact be...a bit of a dick at first? XD Not sure, just an amusing thought. But if, say, she was the one who first encountered Heero as he attempts to land on Earth, how would that fight have gone? Even assuming she pulled off a similar trick to Zechs and sends Heero and his Gundam plunging into the sea...

-There would be no Relena in Japan to find him washed up on the beach. How would Heero’s Ep 2 meeting with Duo play out differently without Relena there? Would Duo make up another excuse to shoot him or would they manage to completely avoid Heero ending up in the Alliance hospital under Sally’s care? Or maybe Duo would be the one strapped to that table, THAT would be interesting.

-But speaking of Relena, what would she be like growing up in the full knowledge and weight of her Peacecraft legacy? It’s...probably not the most realistic, but I am kind of cackling over the idea of a role reversal between the two Peacecraft siblings. Like, ok, the first invasion of Cinq didn’t happen, but once the war with the Gundams hots up and OZ achieves its coup, you could easily still have fall of Cinq scenario we see in series, only without Relena at the helm but her parents, how would that shake out? Would we see the deaths of the Peacecraft monarchs at that point instead? How would that then affect her and Zechs, er, Milliardo? So the first time around, we obviously ended up with Milliardo abandoning pacifism, enlisting and becoming Zechs to pursue revenge. But happening at a different stage of his life, especially if he had kind of just been rebelling against his parents’ ideals, I could see him instead taking the opposite tack and instead realizing like, no, this is why pacifism is so important and necessary. Whereas Relena at 15 years old, losing her Dorlian father, her first instinct is to pick up a gun and try to assassinate Lady Une. Wouldn’t it be funny if she somehow ended up being the Peacecraft sibling seduced by White Fang? I mean, I still don’t see her pursuing the extremes Zechs did...and why would White Fang actually want her? But still, something about that just tickles my funnybone.

-What other fun implications could there be? Who wants to write this for me? XD

[banyanas]

trying to regain my funnybone for misdial au after writing horror for months is. well it’s going! + some authors note for additional context

anyway sasha being down bad is SO FUN to write like sorry ur romantic ‘cradled her in your arms’ rescue ended less in a kiss and more so ‘hi i need to take a nap and clean out my hard drive brb. ignore how close i got to your face to tell you that’

[irrigos]

🎂🍩🍾 for all of them!

🎂: Has your OC have any contradictory interests or traits to the first preception people have of them? How do they surprise people?

Well, usually people assume Morgan is smart, on account of all that book-learnin'. Unfortunately, they are high-INT low-WIS. Morgan recreationally drinks poison because they want to know what it does. They have an eyeless skull that's just on their mantle. His name is Mr. Funnybones. Every eyeless skull they find is named Mr Funnybones, and they are all related to each other. (Morgan refers to them as Messers Funnybones, or sometimes Funnybones and Sons. They're a law firm.)

tbh I think a canny observer can figure Eliot out pretty easily, it's just that nobody usually bothers. He comes across as flighty and charming because he wants to come across that way, and doesn't want to reveal the fact that he's deeply sad all of the time. But it's easy to notice if you know what you're looking for.

Jacob kinda seems like he'd probably be some kinda meathead when you first meet him, especially since he was a zailor and all. He's a huge beefy guy, so it's kind of a surprise that not only is he incredibly well-read, he's very thoughtful and well-reasoned, too. Not only is he political, he knows a lot of theory AND is happy and able to explain concepts should anyone ask.

Percy doesn't talk to people that much, and when he does, he's pretty brusque (which is putting it nicely) so people don't really think much about his interior life at all. He loves one thing in the world, and that is his rose garden, but he doesn't bring it up unprompted because sometimes people make a whole Thing about it, and the longer he spends having to talk to people about his garden, the longer it is until he can get back to it. (In a modern AU, I know he's also a really big fan of magic the gathering, but I'm not sure what a victorian era equivalent would be. Whist? Go?)

🍩: What's a crime your OC is most likely to commit? What's a crime they're most likely to get arrested for?

Morgan: Treason (they do a lot of murders, but like, is that even a crime?) Jacob: Domestic Terrorism (this one's canon) Eliot: Well, sodomy isn't illegal in London, so murder, I guess. Percy: Obstruction of justice. He's not a narc, and also, he is cat on his father's side, so he is GOING to be in the way no matter where you need to be. That's his right. I don't care if you're a cop.

🍾: Does your OC believe in luck? If so, do they have any charm or ritual they do before a stressful event?

I don't really think any of them are big believers in luck! I think Jacob sometimes does things for good luck out of habit (he used to be a zailor, and his mom was definitely a "throw spilled salt over your shoulder to ward off the devil" kinda lady), and Percy loves a ritual (but more because he's a creature of habit than because he thinks it will actually change his fate in some meaningful way). Eliot believes in luck only in as much as he believes that he is fated to be miserable. So, take that as you will, I guess.

[justahopelessaromantic]

honey, don’t feed it, it will come back (Preface/Warning to be strictly heeded by all those lucky enough to bare witness to it)

Fandom: South Park AU: Stick of Truth AU Links to Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and the Epilogue Accompanying Playlist for this Fic on Spotify and Youtube Disclaimer: The author of this work does not condone/endorse the messages, themes, and concepts presented by South Park. Considering how said work is melodramatic gay fanfiction written in child storybook form of all things, I'm sure this seems reasonable to assume. However, it’s astonishing how many times I've stumbled upon people in this fandom who are wholehearted believers of almost everything the show says, and, quite frankly, I would rather evaporate from this plane of existence than potentially be presumed as a bigot or, god forbid, a centrist. Summary: "The Life and Lies of That Thing over there, shivering in the corner, shaking the bushes." (Written by someone sick in the head, and maybe the funnybone)

Once upon a time, the most beautiful maiden in all the land was digging some sort of rabid…thing out from her neighbor's molting, sweating garden.

(It is unclear if the aforementioned sweat originally bared shelter within the cracking walls of the weed’s pores, or the thing’s)

Her maidenhood was made known to the village (quite loudly, I might add) by the shimmer of her great beauty (“shimmer” as meant in the literal sense, that is. A local schoolboy was quoted in The Daily Parchment as having been blinded by “the freshly sharpened string of pearls woven into the valleys of her gums). For if it were not for the shine of her coat, none would dare find themselves looking past its complete attachment to her “person”. And though even the daftest of the townsfolk could see that such animalistic eloquence and stature could only come to be through the curse of a witch (or a second gift from god, perhaps, to keep her from the wiles and whims of the men and boys she walked home), the fruit she bore, fuzzy and already split open for a few hours at this point, blood and juices running from him, down his thigh, seeping into her mane and sticking to his steps and sewing the seems of botanical stems together, blades of grass cutting through the stream, guiding it along the lining of the stone path-

And through even that!

He was but a fond footnote in the neat folds of her memory, as her rich company always claims, and she was but the catalyst of his everything and everyone and himself, making for a fair more enchanting tale.

But since it is only fair (and because he would inevitably get his way in the matter anyway), we instead present The Life and Lies of That Thing over there, shivering in the corner, shaking the bushes.

We hope you enjoy.

[swaptale-neo]

Here’s the second member of the ST-N Cast: Sans. Remember, this is a roleswap AU, so let’s see if you can guess who Mr. Funnybone swaps with.

Art done by Edgedoggo21 on Instagram

[miriamgaragui]

¡¡¡LA GRAN CHARLA!!!

[professionalspears]

@f-unny-bones // X          @nothingmoreforevermore

William hummed at Undertaker’s initial comment about Grell, but instead of replying he moved towards the desk. “I can’t say,” he offered at the next question, as he opened up the bottle of painkillers to pop out two pills. “However considering they were from a guy named ‘Tall,dark and handsome’, I assume they are not your genitals.” William didn’t mention how the messages also included nice looking abs...and muscular thighs, and...a sense of familiarity...

Fingers tightening around the pills, William stopped himself from reacting. In hindsight, it wasn’t really a suprise to discover that Undertaker had a sexy lover on the side. Of course, he was weird at his worst and eccentric at his best but he was clever, intutitive and held a power, a sense of vitality garnished by his little quirks. 

Forcing himself to stay in control, he turned towards the other. “Other than the innocent traffic light?” he asked drily, for a second the image of Undertaker’s lips brushing against his flickered in William’s mind. “No.”

Then taking the half full glass of water on the nightstand, he held out the pills and the glass. “Drink.” he ordered. 

[edierone]

What a jealous little bunch you are, you are, what a jealous little bunch you are!

Did you mean “bitch,” as in just me – an individual, free, and sovereign bitch? Or did you really mean “bunch,” as in all of us who are roastin’ DD’s potatoes for ‘im on this fine fucked-up Saturday in the bad-timeline AU apparently determined to run its dark course on this bitch of an Earth? Either way – something about this ask struck my funnybone, so thanks, Monique! 

[panie-wanie-dean-bean]

How did our meeting with them go?

Like our first time interacting with these funnybone boys

~♥️ anon

Well

Barry's the one who sells you your little fixer-uper of a cabin next to the spooky mansion on the hill. He kept saying shit like "Yeah, ever since the last tenants murdered the guy in that mansion and fled no one's wanted to buy it" He gives you a discount seeing how it's tied to a crime and needs quite a bit of elbow grease but you're sure you can make it a home

Joseph came as part of the deal with the house. No you don't get to keep him, unfortunately, but he helps you fix the place up and even offers you his couch if you ever need it. He doesn't talk, keeping a little not pad on him since he hasn't fully grasped sign yet. He's learned how to spell and write pretty fast from working in the post office

You meet Nick and Rory while getting some groceries, sure you could get bread from Barry's general store but the bakery smells so good you just have to see what they've got. Rory's a bit cold and grumpy when you first meet him but he's all smiles when talking to Nick, maybe he just needs to know you first? And Nick is very polite, walking you through the options of what they sell and totally not blushing when your fingers brush as he hands you your bread

You also meet Jack in the bakery. He offers to show you around town when you have a spare minute, it's not very big so it won't take too long. Once you take him up on the offer he's very helpful, pointing the few shops in town, telling you what you'll have to travel to get, and where everyone lives. The whole town is basically one big neighborhood so he doesn't really see it as odd. He also points out his and Rory's house, telling you you're welcome any time

While you're on your tour you run into Bo, literally. He's going so fast neither of you have time to react. When you shake off the panic you both realize you're lying on top of him and his tail starts to wag. Jack helps you up and Bo apologizes for bumping into you, but also treats you like you two are now best friends calling you his "bump buddy" and asking if you want to play any games with him

After such a long day you'd think you'd be able to sleep but alas,. Sleeping in a new bed is always hard but sleeping in a new house is just not happening tonight. You decide to sit on the porch to try and star gaze yourself into a coma when you see Ian. He has to walk past your cabin to get to the mansion and takes the time to introduce himself. Once he learns your plight he offers to take you with him, saying that the owners of the mansion don't sleep during the night either

Elias and Shaun are beaming at seeing a new face and Moonpie takes to you just as quick. The others in town know of them but with conflicting schedules they don't get too many visitors. Elias rushes off to the kitchen to make you some tea while Shaun takes you to their library to sit and talk. He says that they spend more time in here than in the actual sitting room. After Elias comes back with the tea Ian starts reading and acting out one of the books from the shelf

You're not sure when you fell asleep but you do know that you wake up in a very soft bed in a room that looks like it would fit right in with the rest of the mansion you fell asleep in. Elias comes in to check on you and tells you he couldn't just leave you on the couch! After leaving you only have a moment in your own home before there's a knock on the door. Jean introduces himself with a plate of cookies he clearly got from the bakery and a little bow. He's very princely about the whole thing, saying you shouldn't have to live in such filth while you fix the place up and offers to let you stay with him. He has a full guest room all made up for you if you'd ever like it

Once Joseph swings by to help with the house he also gives you your first letter! It's from a guy named Taylor, apperntly he lives in town and wants to try putting himself out there a bit. Not out there enough to come out of his house but it's a start. You two become the closest pen pals in history as you write back and forth nearly everyday. When you actually meet him he's got some big wet cat energy but he manages to hold conversation well enough

[kh-imagineif]

roommate headcanons (part 1)

post-series au thing in which all the key kids live happily ever after together, bc why not :)

- Kairi is (unintentionally?) the loudest roommate. It’s not that she means to be-- she’s just, well, kind of a mess sometimes. Be it dropping things, slamming doors/cabinets by accident, tripping over some poorly-placed object, or swearing up a storm after smashing the ish out of her funnybone, she has a tendency to be on the noisy side. Sora gets second place in this category, followed closely by Lea.

- Roxas loathes this aspect of living with other people because he’s a light sleeper and is easily disturbed by the noise factor. What makes it even worse is that he’s a night owl, so he’ll be trying to sleep in while most of the others are already up & about for the day (which usually doesn’t work out very well). Poor boy is continuously sleep deprived-- until he gets himself some heavy duty earplugs-- but even that only sort of helps.

- Ven is an awesome interior designer! He has an innate sense of which shapes & colors pair well together. Riku does, too, but he doesn’t care enough to partake in the home furnishing process beyond what’s functionally necessary. He will, however, give his honest opinion about how something looks if you ask him-- and this extends to outfits, hairstyles, etc. Actually, Riku will give you his honest opinion on almost anything, so ask at your own risk.

- Aqua & Namine also have a penchant for decorating. Aqua’s style is more traditional/home-y while Namine’s is an eclectic blend of minimalist & bohemian. With Aqua’s eye for detail and Namine’s artistic flair, the two of them are responsible for most of the ‘finishing touches’ around their shared living space.

- They have a big u-shape sectional sofa, and Lea will (try to) monopolize the chaise part of it every time. If anyone complains, he just says it’s only fair he gets that seat because he’s the tallest; sitting in one of the regular seats is uncomfortable for him, his legs being so long and all. And he’ll swear up & down he’s taller than Terra by like a fraction of an inch, hair not included, so.

- Terra might wrestle him for it, though, on occasion. And win. Unless Lea goes for an underhanded cheap shot-- which, no, he’s absolutely not above using-- because Terra putting you in a headlock qualifies as a life or death situation, man. ANYTHING goes. 

- Kairi isn’t afraid to wrestle Lea for it, either, but most of the time she prefers to employ a more strategic type of warfare. One highly effective tactic is to occupy the seat closest to Lea, then inch closer & closer to him until she’s pretty much sprawled out on top of him, at which point he either falls off the couch or gets uncomfortable/claustrophobic enough to move. Honestly, it isn’t even about getting the good spot; she just enjoys pushing Lea’s buttons sometimes. And, unfortunately for him, she’s really good at it.

- SORA. IS. THE MESSIEST. ROOMMATE. They all love him to death, but it’s true. o.o 

- Riku & Aqua are hands down the best chefs (but Xion’s getting there, too!). Riku enjoys creating elaborate gourmet dinners while Aqua prefers baking & desserts. Xion likes to hang out in the kitchen while one or both of them are at work to watch & learn... Annnnddd she gets to be their unofficial taste-tester, which is always a plus. :) 

- They have a family cat and three dogs, thanks to Terra, who seems to be a magnet for stray animals. Aqua & he have a routine of taking the dogs out for a run in the evenings. Terra got tangled up in the leashes so bad one time and fell, hard-- gracelessly pulling two squirmy, tail-wagging, face-licking dogs on top of him. Aqua, of course, rushed to help unravel their mess of a pile-- but, try as she might, she couldn’t stop laughing, which greatly detracted from her wide-eyed, alarm-ridden “ARE YOU OKAY?!”

- The cat has adopted Riku as its favorite human.

- Namine loves to create personalized ‘have a great day!’ notes (complete with motivational messages & cute doodles) for her roomies, and leave them taped to their bedroom doors or the fridge or wherever else they might easily find them. Roxas saves each and every one of his Nami-notes in a shoebox he has stashed away in his closet. 

- Ven & Sora have an ongoing, elaborate prank war with one another. Eventually, after one too many stalemates, they both decide to call it a truce-- and come to the realization that, if they join forces, they can get their other housemates so, so good. And thus, a second prank war begins. Terra’s probably their most frequent (unsuspecting) victim, but poor Roxas gets it pretty bad, too.

- family game night --> Aqua & Roxas are total agents of subterfuge & are very skilled at outsmarting the others-- when they team up they’re pretty much unstoppable, much to the dismay of everyone else; Namine gets lucky a lot (and subsequently feels bad for the person she ends up schooling); Riku is infamous for playing lowkey most of the game-- and then unleashing an ultimate deathblow that almost nobody saw coming; Xion has the best poker face; Terra has the worst poker face; Lea definitely probably maybe cheats from time to time; Ven’s a distract-them-until-they-can’t-think-straight-and-mess-up-royally type of player; Sora’s the one most likely to ‘forget’ the rules (or make up his own halfway through the game); Kairi somehow always ends up as the unofficial moderator who has to keep everyone else in line. ◔_◔

-

part 2

part 3

[mrfunnybonearchives]

Funnybone Updates

Heya, friends! Just wanted to let ya’ll know that I’ve decided to pick a handful of main threads that I will be focusing in on for awhile! (or at least until the threads are complete!) 

They're just a few choice stories that I would really love to see properly progress, so I’m setting aside a bit of extra time for them. <3 

This doesn’t mean I will be necessarily dropping my other threads, but they sadly won’t be replied to as consistently as the ones I’ve chosen. Sorry, loves!! If I could I would, but ah, time is a fickle mistress~

My main threads will be: 

𝕄 𝔸 𝕋 ℂ ℍ 𝔼 𝔻 with @lettersfromthepit , scheduled for Monday’s, which tells of a post-apoplectic AU where arranged marriages are enforced by the government based on compatibiltiy, and your quality of life is dependent on how many children you produce. There seems to be a lot more information that’s not being shared with the masses, however...  

Section 14 with @trashpanda-rp , sceduled for Tuesday’s, following the adventures of Sans as a child when he finds a mysterious book in an off-limit section of Undergrounds library. When he reads a golden font but foreign tongue passage, a demon-child appears and becomes locked to him until the day that he may steal his soul...but in the meantime, snacks?

The Skeleton, The Witch, and The Blind Date || Best Burgs in Town with @plsdontkinkshameme , scheduled for Wednesday’s, two small threads that take place in the same Universe and explore the tentative friendship/bar buddy relationship of Sans, who is still experiencing Resets and currently in a Surface timeline, and Lorona, a tea shop owner just trying to find a bit of peace in life while avoiding the watchful eye of The Matron. 

The Skeleton Brothers Inn with @flametendingbartender , scheduled for Thursdays, featuring an Underground verse where a large portion of communities have lost power. The people of Snowdin come together to support one another, families with power taking in those without. Grillby and his daughter, Fuku, come to stay with the infamous skeleton brothers. Much disappointment in Sans kitchen ensues. 

TBA with @wdvoided , scheduled for Fridays, featuring Sans and Gaster in a Universe where they are(likely) not related to one another. We’ve been meaning to properly thread together foreverrrr, my darling, so I’m saving this spot just for you! 

[rosezemlya]

I had this odd thought that is possibly OOC but I thought it was an interesting idea as well as it tickled my funnybone: For the BOTW RR AU, what if Hunter was the one who tested the anti-aging thing out of a desire to be around Link's age when he awakes from the chamber, leading to Hunter being the RR's equivalent of Purah?

Technically also possible!  I don’t think it’s so much OOC as it is that Purah doesn’t match the tone of the stories generally, but that’s totally fixable in fanfic!

[panie-wanie-dean-bean]

(Had this in the drafts)

There are already paint designs for Ian, Shaun, and Nick from the card reward from backing the sdj kickstarter with 300$ I do not have these cards personally but Crispy_Draws on twitter was kind enough to share them with the class

These were made as a what if scenario for the modern day bois being on the actual show back in the 80's so none of them have official signatures, which is where I step in

Ian is an aspiring actor, looking up to Jean as a role model of sorts. He's more interested in the actual theater than the camera so he can't fully relate but he's got all of Jean's old movies and just gushes over them whenever he has the chance. For now he helps Elias and Shaun keep their library in order, even offering to recite passages from novels much to Elias' delight. Shaun will even ask him to act out parts of the novel he's writing to see if they translate well. His signature actually has a name, look at me go! It's called tear jerker, and it makes everyone around him cry whenever he does

Speaking of the Gladpire, Shaun lives in the spooky mansion on the hill with Elias. He actually knew Elias back when he was alive, visiting when he could as he travelled all over the world. He was one of the few people left who could attend his funeral. After a while he heard rumors of Elias' old house being haunted and scaring out every other buyer, so of course he had to scope it out. They were delighted to see each other again, Shaun honestly feeling a bit relived his friend could join him in eternity. Now Shaun spends most of his days huddled away writing novel after novel about horror stories based in what he learned in his travel, Moonpie the vamp-kitty curled up beside him as he writes. His signature allows him to "feed" on joy without stealing it from others

Nick runs the local bakery, though his passion will always be candies. Ever since Rory started working with him he's had more time to focus on his sweets while Rory handles things like bread and rolls. These two can talk about baking for hours if you let them, some days they just sit and chat together and wonder where the time went. He's also pretty close to Jack seeing as he comes in so often to talk to Rory, Jack doesn't understand a lick of baking lingo but he loves hearing the both of them talk. Nick's signature also has a name! It's called sugar coat and it allows him to take anything bitter and make it taste sweet

[panie-wanie-dean-bean]

Oh yeah, should do this before I forget. Jack and Rory are basically the same in Funnybone au. Jack's music carrier actually took off in this au so he and Rory moved together to town. Jack talks about his folks like they're years away but it's really just a fifteen minute drive. Rory works at Nick's bakery having left his to move in with Jack. Honestly he prefers not running the place, it leaves him with more time to spend on his craft and his boyfriend (They're dating, they will never not be dating, if I ever make an a where they're not dating that's not me, kill it)