#funny bath quotes

[punsify1]

Get Squeaky Clean With 200+ Hilarious Bath Puns—Perfect For A Relaxing And Funny Soak

Looking to add a little humor to your soak? Dive into our Ultimate Bath Puns Extravaganza with over 200 splashes of fun that will leave you soaked in laughter.

These puns are perfect for anyone who loves a good laugh while they relax in the tub.

Whether you’re looking for a quick chuckle or something to brighten your day, you’ll find just the right dose of humor in our collection of puns. Get ready to unwind and giggle your way through bath time with these refreshing and bubbly jokes!

10 Bath Puns That Will Make a Splash

What do you call a bath full of puns? A tub of giggles! 🛁

I tried to tell a joke in the shower, but it just washed over everyone. 🚿

Why don’t baths tell secrets? Because they’re full of leaks! 🧼

I asked the bath if it wanted to hear a joke—it said, "Soap-risingly, yes!" 🧽

The bath was so funny, I nearly toweled off from laughing! 🛀

What did the soap say to the loofah? "Let’s lather up some fun!" 😄

I told the bath it was funny, and it replied, "I’m just soaking it in." 😏

Why was the bathtub always calm? It knew how to keep its bubbles under control. 🫧

The bath is the best place to tell jokes—they always come out clean! ✨

What’s a bath’s favorite type of music? Soap operas! 🎶

Read: The Ultimate Bath Puns Extravaganza 200+ Splashes of Humor That Will Leave You Soaked in Laughter.

[cassandracain52]

“Well, that’s embarrassing.” - Tim Drake after finding out his spleen was removed (Red Robin #5)

[acourtofmishapandmistakes]

Feyre to Rhys: So today, Cassian swore in front of Nyx and Nyx said that we had to wash Cassian's mouth out with soap. Cassian replied "It's okay, I like the taste of soap". And that's when I found out Cassian has been putting soap on his lips to blow bubbles.

[cryinginmelodrama]

this is how i imagine the wife of bath advising younger girls she meets

[greenglowinspooks]

Just read my first comic issue with Thalia in it and I understand now. I understand why you guys love her so much

Just says the most reprehensible shit possible to Bruce, tries to kick his ass, and leaves

Just a girlboss building her empire truly

[obeyweegee359]

"that'll wash the blood off" 🤓

[REPOST on new account]

[feather-rose]

Chicken? Yeah, okay!

......

Lee(Opens the bathroom door.): Hey Neji-kun! Neji--

Spots him in the bathdub with bubbles with glass of champagne onto his hold. Naked butt into bubble bath and hair hung up, into shock when Lee bursted in.

Lee: Uh, Neji?(Not so certain of what he should think about now..)

Neji(Looked ashamed as he commited a crime, looked up at him with big puppy eyes.): I had a very long hard day..

Lee(Plays along, anyways.): Okay, the guys and I were thinking about having chicken order--

Neji: Guys?(Gulps hard with difficulty..)

Lee: You know. Sasuke, Naruto and Shikamaru are coming over for the match. Thought you'd want some chicken--

Neji(Cuts him fast nervous.): Uh..No! No chicken for me!..Bye, bye then!

Lee: Okay..(Turns back at the door but whirled around, with suspiscious) You sure? Nor crispy fingers, Nor dirty rice, or beans, or corslow--

Neji(Cuts him again but loudly, this time.): For the last time! No!! Get out! Get out! Lee!

Lee(Steps back, as quiet as he sounded.): Okay..

(Closes the door.)

When Tenten resurfaced back from the bath, gasping out for air from down into the water bath. All drenched from her hair buns and her champagne flute. Which Neji had found her to be cute and sexy.

Neji: You okay? I'm so sorry! Lee kept asking for some chicken, and wouldn't leave!

Tenten: Chicken? I'd like some chicken!(Nods back at the idea with interest..)

Neji(Blinked back at her answer, stunned but cleared up his throat.) Hey Lee!

And Tenten went back onto the bath as she held up again her breath when Lee re-opened the door.

Lee: Uh?

Neji: Yeah, can I get some some three pieces of chicken fingers, some corslow and salad and coke--Oww! Oww!(Shuts his eyes with pain as a piranha bite him. Which left Lee into fear.)

Lee:(Looked uncomfortable, here) Uh, Neji--

Neji(Winced at the sudden and pinching pain through his junk, trying to not look more stupid.): I've meant Diet Coke! Make for two! Damn it, Tenten!

Lee(Rose an eyebrow with confusion.): Two?

Neji(Opens up his eyes, trying not look stupid.): Yeah, I'm starving, you know? Been a hard and long day, you know?(Then smiles nervously as he held his champagne flute.Looking like an adorable naked idiot, here.)

....

[p2ii]

.

[euesworld]

"Let me Happy Valentine's day these lips up your neck and THEN let's see what kind of day you have.."

I brought the chocolate syrup in case you need a tongue bath, haha - eUë

[dtccompendium]

Episode 210: The Water Palace of Five Colors (Part 1)

Mouri agrees to be the stand in for the Suzuki people at a tea ceremony. Conan hates tea ceremonies because apparently they’re too formal for him. This tea ceremony happens to be held at the demon pond, a pond that shines in five colors. Conan, in particular, wonders what makes it shine yellow. There’s also a tea house in the middle of the pond, where the master lives in the dark. Mouri opens the window and sees his black eyebrows and grey beard, and says, “It appeared.” The master offers them sake instead of tea. Later they find him hanging from the rafters. The suspects include: Giggle – a fiendish woman who laughs a lot, wears sweaty kimonos, and looks around restlessly while sneaking out between tea ceremonies. Then there’s Bath Baby, who can’t make his own bath, so he makes the housekeeper do it for him all the time. He gets in an argument with Giggle. The housekeeper is just there. And then there’s the master’s son, whose only hobby is fishing, but his father burned all of his fishing rods. By the end of the episode, everyone is convinced the master was killed by the demon of the pond, which Mouri translates as being mentally stressed and while preparing for the tea ceremony, spontaneously choosing death instead.

Best Quotes:

Giggle (casually): “Why don’t you tell the famous detective about the demon as well?”

Bath Baby (smoothly diverting the conversation): “Let’s talk about this over there, while we drink hot water.”

Giggle: “Even if there was no demon, he died like in the legend, which would mean he was killed by the demon, right?"

[sungie]

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH OMYGOD ITS SO TENDER AND SWEET AND JUST THE BEST EVER YOU REALLY DO ALWAYS COME UP WITH THE BEST LITTLE SCENARIOS AND IM GEN KIKCKING MY FEET GIGGLIGN RN

after-shower hair-care | boyfriend!wriothesley x fem!reader

wriothesley blowdries your hair after you take a shower. (he's hopelessly in love with you).

(´• ω •`) ♡ the only fem pronoun in here is 'ma'am' <3

you sit between wriothesley’s knees, head slumping into his lap as he cards his fingers through your hair. the blow dryer is warm and so are his hands as he dries the damp strands, fingers gentle as he massages oil onto your scalp. you’re drifting in and out of sleep, stirring slightly when you feel his hands move to caress the curve of your cheek. 

“my turn, babe.”

you shuffle, turning to face him, vaguely noticing that he’s tied your hair up in a claw clip. 

“wrio…” you mumble, pressing your cheek against his thigh. “m’ tired. later.”

“nuh-uh,” he says, eyebrow raised. “i want my hair done too.” 

you wrap your arms around his waist, eyes shut. he smells like your peach body wash. 

“but you’re so comfy.” 

you can’t see the smile on wriothesley’s lips as he puts his arms on each of your shoulders and shakes. 

“wriothesley!” you exclaim, his laugh contagious as you brace your hands on his knees. slightly dizzy, you look up at him as his body shakes from laughter, eyes gleaming. his hair is still damp from the shower, a towel around his neck as he holds a blow dryer in his hands. it doesn’t help that he’s not wearing a shirt, either. “you-” 

a blast of hot air in your face. your mouth drops as wriothesley turns the blow dryer on max, turning the heat down after he remembers your complaints about how hot the blow dryer gets. 

“don’t go falling asleep on me, pretty.” he says, tilting your chin up. “or i’ll blow dry your cute face.”

“wrio-” 

he cuts your words off with his lips, ever so gentle as he kisses your complaints away. he pulls away and your dizziness is back. 

“i’m gonna get you back.” you pout, getting up to trade places with him on the bed. “i’ll show you what these fists taste like.” 

“yes, ma'am.” wriothesley salutes. you groan. 

“oh god.” you look down at him as he sits on the carpet between your legs, his legs crossed lazily as he bats his eyelashes up at you. he hands you the blow dryer. “you were into that, weren’t you!” 

“i’m into you.” wriothesley corrects. he’s incredibly smug. you hide behind your palm as you blush, biting the inside of your cheek as his hands gently remove any obstructions from your face. “let me see your pret-”

you turn the blow dryer on max. 

“oh, i like you.” wriothesley says in between his laughter, turning so that you can focus your attention on his hair. “love you, actually.” he corrects. 

“love you too.” you say, ruffling the black and gray strands of his hair. he places a kiss on your knee. you pause before kissing the crown of his head. 

you continue blow drying his hair, towling the strands occasionally. wriothesley’s thankful you’re so focused on his hair that you don’t notice how warm his face has gotten, nor his crimson red cheeks as he blushes into his palm.

[gloriouslyscentedwizard]

Just girly things...!

✨️💞Spraying yourself directly in the eye with your 97% alcohol Bath & Body Works body spray✨️🫠💞

[brokeclothingaddict]

[unhingedgirlythings]

FUCK IT

SUMMERY : Reader gets her date interrupted when Hotch calls up asking for her to get to the BAU. Reader rushes over still dressed up and a certain dr can’t keep her eyes off her teehee.

Tags:fem reader , a huge amount of awkwardness, reader is over her love life

A/N: I WANTED AWKWARD SPENCER REID, bare with me tho cuz I haven’t written a fanfic since I was 13 and it was horrible so please be kind and let me know your thoughts :))) enjoyyy.

——————///—————///--——————///——————

You were used to your phone ringing at the WORST possible times, I mean with your job that was something you just had to prepare yourself for. Serial killers don’t take a break just so you can have a girls night out or take a nice relaxing bath after a long day. Although never in your life did you imagine the wave of relief that would wash over you as the all too familiar ringtone blared from your phone. Normally you would groan and feel your body grow more exhausted whilst hesitantly picking up the phone, but not tonight. Nope. Fortunately for hotch, you couldn’t have answered the phone faster. “what’s up” low and behold hotch was on the other end requesting your presence ASAP!

You tried to hide your glee as you glanced over at the douche-ist blind date that the great quote on quote “matchmaker” of the century Garcia, had raved on about the week before. To be fair the date didn’t start off bad, it was actually the most decent one you’ve had yet. Honestly you were ready to finally praise Penelope for actually finding you a decent man to take your mind off the unrequited school girl crush that you had on a certain “kid” genius. somehow you escaped the dude who clearly was stuck in some frat boy mindset, well not without some snarky comment made towards you which you shut down a little harsher then needed but seriously you couldn’t hold back anymore, you had no idea what possessed Penelope into thinking you would EVER consider going home with the king of fucking douchebags (most likely the biceps and tight clothing that the man sported). Nevertheless here you were speeding down the freeway, thinking way too hard about your love life completely blanking and forgetting to drop by your apartment to quickly change into something more work appropriate.

Before you knew it you’ve parked your car, walking into the cold air. A shiver runs down your body and the shock hits you when you realize. Here you are in a little skimpy black dress that clings to your curves in “just the right way” according to Penelope before shoving you out into your car heading to that horrible excuse of a date, “ahh shit. Fucken seriously! Of course this is just my luck … I mean at least I look good” groaning and mumbling to yourself, you make your way into the building. You knew Hotch would be understanding, I mean you never know when you’re gonna be called in and it sounded urgent so yeah, sometimes you and your coworkers walk in with inappropriate work wear. You will never forget the time he called everyone in at god knows what time, Spencer had walked into the room with his pjs sporting a fluffy dress robe, you seriously thought someone was going to have to perform cpr on you that night.

Walking into the building in heels was definitely a pain in your ass, but you managed as you pushed the briefing room door open. A low wolf whistle from Derek Morgan was the last thing you needed right now “damn sweetheart, who knew you could clean up so nicely“ As you make your way into the room, you playfully roll your eyes at him.“haha very funny” you cringed as everyone’s attention was now drawn to you. while taking a seat next to JJ, wishing to be wearing literally anything else “Sorry Hotch, i came straight from..” you hesitate for a second, glancing around before continuing “A date, but this sounded important so I didn’t have time to change”The stoned faced man simply nods at you “It’s fine. You're here, right now we have a lot to cover” He starts debriefing the team, leaving no detail out of the case, no matter how brutal, you tried your hardest to give him your unwavering attention, but you could feel someone’s eyes on you. And out of the corner of your eye see him. Spencer.

His stare was hot and intense, and fuck was it making you become a flustered mess. You glanced at him from your peripheral trying your best to be subtle about it, it was getting harder and harder to focus on Hotch and the case, not Reid. But when his puppy dog eyes drifted up, down and all over your body, your body involuntarily reacted, slightly squirming in your seat. Before you could stop yourself, your eyes turn and lock onto his gorgeous brown ones, a smirk graces your lips as he finally notices your eyes now on him. Looking like a kid being caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he turns pink from the embarrassment and shame of being caught, and god did that make your head spin. Now it was his turn to awkwardly squirm in his seat while staring at Hotch with all his attention. You giggle under your breath at his fumbling awkwardness. Before you know it everyone around you starts to pack up their things and stand up, leaving you confused. Of course you spent the whole debriefing paying so little attention to the case and more on Spencer.

Sighing, you pull the hem of your dress down as you stand trying to save yourself from even more embarrassment. “soooo how did it go? Was he as yummy as you’d hoped?” Garcia wraps her arms around yours as you try not to stumble down the stairs towards your desk “you, my love are officially banned from meddling in my love life” you could already hear the trail of complaints bouncing around in her head as you plopped down onto your desk chair, reaching for the new case folder hoping to catch yourself up before take off in the morning “aww come on I for sure thought you’d be jumping his bones, all those rippling muscles, who In Their right mind could resist” the thought of the man you had seen a few hours prior put a foul taste in your mouth, causing your face to scrunch up in disgust “he was a complete dick, he legit referred to himself as an “alpha male” AN ALPHA ,Only thing I wanted to jump , was off a building at that point” a defeated look from her was all the conformation you needed, no longer were you going on blind dates, and your love life was back to being non existent and sad “sorry Pen I tried, I really really tried, you just have horrific taste in men like my god do we need to get you some help. These guys are basically human garbage” whilst looking up your eyes naturally drift and settle on Spencers desk frowning as you watch him, his heads buried in the case file whilst obsessively jotting down notes like some multitasking god, your heart couldn’t help but pine after his more, the looks you shared moments before didn’t help your case either. Resting your chin in the palm of your hand, you drag your eyes away trying to spare yourself from going into one of your Spencer Reid spirals. You look up at Penelope already disliking the pitiful look she was giving you “are you sure your ready to give up?, I mean I know this cute guy who would be super into you, he's just your type “the new voice startled you, turning in your seat you’re met with Emily smirking down at you whilst leaning against your desk inserting herself into the conversation with JJ beside her “wow ok fun, are we all just gonna just dive head first into my personal life?, don’t we have a case to work on?” trying to deter the subject of the conversation off of you was a bust, as the women you call friends gleam down at you with a shared look “yeah no this is too entertaining to sit out on.” you couldn’t believe you were having this conversation right now, letting out a groan you leaned back in your chair covering your face in hopes of hiding the redness in your cheeks “sweetheart, what you need is a good ol one night stand, get a certain pretty boy out of your system” if you weren’t already melting into a puddle of embarrassment, you definitely were now “Morgan shut up please for the love of everything holy”

you could only pray Spencer wasn’t paying attention to the little group that was forming at your desk, maybe he was being good and reading the case file like the rest of them should be doing but of course luck wasn’t in your favor tonight “what are we talking about?” Before you could shut the whole conversation down Morgan happily answered Spencer “oh, we were just discussing Y/L/N’s love life. I think she needs a good root, what do you think?” that stupid smirk Morgan was happily wearing was enough to make your blood boil, now you truly wished to disappear “ok ok that’s enough” you shoot up from your seat avoiding any eye contact with Spencer not wanting to see his reaction to your humiliating red face “conversation over, my love life is going back to being non existent, thank you for your concern but it’s over, officially dead so no more talking about it.” you snatch the file off your desk ready to get the hell out of whatever situation you found yourself in “i'm going home to at least get some sleep before we leave tomorrow or I’ll be a zombie all day” with that you hastily made your way out of the building and into the cool night air once again.

wrapping your arms around yourself in hopes to provide some warmth, you slowly make your way to the car park. Before you could make it to your car you could hear foot steps getting closer and closer until they were right behind you, stopping along with yours once you had reached front of your car. Quickly spinning around you slam them onto the car's hood, arm in your hand, face down and pinned.

“Ow ow ow ow Ow!” Shit. It was Spencer. The man you’ve been daydreaming about and here you were pinning him to the hood of your car. “oh shit sorry, my god, don’t walk up on me like that holy shit Spence you scared me” you pull away off him whilst letting go of his arm and backing away a little. Spencer lets out a hiss of pain as he pushes himself off the hood, rubbing his arm to try and relieve the pain “sorry I was just trying to make sure you got to your car safely. It’s late a-and” he looks at your dress whilst clearing his throat looking away awkwardly “are you ok? you seemed upset in there” he looks back at you whilst giving you a smile that made you wanna pass away on the spot “yeah I’m ok, just having your dating life put on full blast in front of the team like that can be a tad embarrassing” silence was the only response you were met with, you glance up at Spencer trying to think of something, anything to say in this moment “you look really nice by the way, it’s unfortunate your date turned out that way.” His eyes meet yours, your breath gets caught in your throat as heat creeps up your neck to your face “t-thanks” tugging on the hem of your dress you smile sheepishly “not the most comfortable outfit, honestly wish Pen let me wear my sweater but you know”

“Penelope” you both say, you giggle as Spencer chuckles. “Oh by the way, I thought you may want these, may help a little tomorrow” he hands you the notes he took from the briefing, Your fingertips brush against his, the feeling of warmth from his hands sends a shiver down your spine. “Thanks Spence. I appreciate it” you stand there longer than needed before you start to turn away from him. “You know, that even though there aren't any hard statistics, it’s roughly estimated that every 1 in 3 or 4 blind dates actually end up as a success” he rambles on, looking back at him you try to pay attention but you can’t stop your eyes from sifting down towards his lips “so there is a chance” his voice fades away as his words become background noise and your thoughts become louder and louder, all you could think about was him, the feeling of wanting only grew stronger with each passing minute. It didn’t help that his lips were tempting you, calling you in. you couldn’t hold yourself back much longer, will power growing weaker and weaker “fuck it” your body moves before commen sense had its time to put a stop to whatever ridiculous thoughts you had muster up, suddenly your lips press onto his without thinking it through. It was short and one sided yet sweet, the faint taste of coffee and sugar overwhelmed your senses

The sudden realization hits you hard as you push yourself off Reid, the feelings of regret and fear settles itself in your stomach making you feel sick “Sorry I wasn’t thinking, shit sorry, forget that happened ok” you back away keeping your eyes glued to the ground in fear that you’ll look up and only see rejection written on his face. What in the hell possessed you to do that?, why the fuck did you do that, the only reason you kept your feelings shoved down was to protect your friendship with Spencer, nothing meant more to you then the bond you both shared and now you’ve ruined it and for what? A stupid kiss? “wait, uh No no it was just unexpected I didn’t hate it actually quite the opposite” your head snaps back up at a red faced flustered Spencer Reid “don't apologize“ his warm hands warp around your cold ones as he steps closer to you once again “did you um maybe want to try that again? Only if you want to though I don’t want you to regret anything” you giggle as he starts to nervously stumble over his words, this time more confident in your actions your lips find his for the second time tonight.

The taste of coffee meets your lips again as your body relaxes into the kiss, which is very reciprocated this time. The warmth radiating from Spencer chases the cold night air away. As your bodies shuffle closer together. you both hesitantly pull away from each, you wanted to stay here in this moment for as long as possible but of course your bed was calling your name along with the early flight departure. “I should go” you really didn’t want to “I know“ his hands stayed on your waist for a moment before slipping away “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow” the sweet look on his face drove you crazy, the urge to say fuck it and stay with him for the remainder of the night was overpowered by the sleepless night before, you settle for placing a goodnight kiss on his cheek instead “night Spence” winking you open your car door and make your way in, you turn the car on and roll the window down to call out to him as he backs away with a smug smirk on his face “sweet dreams pretty boy” with that you drive away replaying the events of tonight in your mind, god you couldn’t wait to get the case over with so you could finally have a date that wasn’t going to end in ruins, especially with the man you’ve been crushing on since your first day, yeah no you weren’t going to get any sleep tonight now.

[mydesignsforprintondemand]

[flowery-laser-blasts]

Sisters got the same type: 'The goofy funny haha one' ԅ(≖‿≖ԅ)

Yes I took this quote from Who framed Roger Rabbit?

Also thanks to @creatorping for helping me decide on Kim's bathing suit m(_ _)m