#funny as this is. I NEED HIM GONE IDGAF!

[lonelysatoru]

katakuri’s mouth is HUUUGEEEE

[soobvape]

i need brownies so fucking bad rn

[loanebarnes]

my tears ricochet - negan x reader

sorry for any mistakes english isn’t my first language<3

SUMMARY: one shot based on “my tears ricochet” because folklore is my fav album.

WARNING: angst and fluff?? (i’m so nervous i never read angst or only when it’s a happy ending, call me a pussy if you want idgaf, I'm already depressed, no need to make it worse.) flashbacks???? semi happy ending? IDK LEAVE ME ALONE. and this is bad🌚

masterlist🎀

“cause i loved you, i swear i loved you, ‘til my dying day.”

we left alexandria with maggie and gabriel, and of course they had the good idea of taking negan with us. I couldn't really blame them, they asked me if I agreed and I stupidly said yes, thinking it would be okay, that I'd forgotten everything, that I'd forgotten my feelings and him, but no...

we were in a house that wasn't very big but was big enough for the four of us, we had to explore outside to find food and secure the house but we couldn't trust negan alone... so someone had to play babysitter. while negan was in his cell in alexandria, gabriel was always visiting negan so i can tell you that gabi is traumatized and for maggie it’s impossible… so of course i decided to be his fucking babysitter.

negan and I sat in the living room in silence, the silence heavy and awkward, neither of us saying anything, afraid of saying too much or not enough, afraid of bringing back memories, feelings... The realization hit me when we were both sitting next to each other on the sofa, I could feel the warmth of his body, that lack of warmth I'd been feeling was even deeper now, the need to feel his touch on me, i was craving his touch... I'd needed him all my life but I'd just buried my feelings deep in my heart and didn't want the others to know…

i dont know how but we ended up arguing, I don't know how or why it started but it all went to hell. my heart was aching, so much, it was my only interaction with him after so long. i needed to be honest with myself, i missed him. i couldn't do anything about it and i decided that blaming him for everything was the solution.

it was his fault that everything had gone wrong, it was his fault for taking me to the sanctuary, it was his fault for treating me better than everyone else. it was his fault for making me fall in love so hard.

i hit his torso with all my strength as he held me firmly. i felt tired, weak and confused, i had no strength left to fight. i let him pull me slowly towards his muscular chest until all my weight was on him, the sensation was so familiar and the feeling of regret resurfaced. the way i betrayed him, he had given me everything, all his love and trust and i broke him into a million pieces thinking that i would feel less guilty for feeling everything i felt and feel for him after what he had done to glenn, abraham and all my family

but it was even worse, I felt even worse, because I'd betrayed him but I'd also betrayed myself.

“I'm sorry... so sorry...” I couldn't breathe, my cheeks were burning with tears that flowed freely, all my emotions were mixed, all my memories came back...

•••••••

“no! loki will always be better than thor”

“pardon??? you can’t be serious right now?” he sits up dramatically on the bed with a look of shock on his face, turning his head slightly to look at me as I grinned from ear to ear.

I smiled even wider, his reaction was so funny. “i’m 100% serious, it’s not my fault if you can’t understand that old man”

he smiles and runs his tongue over his lips before biting his lip lightly. “excuse me young lady? I don't think I heard you correctly” he lies down leaning on his arm to be on top of me

“are you deaf? i said old. man. i mean it’s a common sign in the elderly..” I smiled a little more at every word, I wanted to burst out laughing because of his face.

suddenly, he was on top of me, trapping me between his legs and tickling me. i couldn’t breathe anymore.

“s-s-stop!! omg! please negan…” I couldn't stop laughing, he knew I was extremely ticklish. “that’s illegal… please!!!” I knew he was proud of himself because of his smile.

“say you’re sorry and i’m the funniest, strongest, bravest and sexiest man in the world” his cocky smile plastered on his face, he knew very well that I would give in.

“okay okay! stop! wait.” he stopped for a second

“it’s not hard knowing that almost everyone is dead-” he looked at me with shock in his eyes and was about to tickle me again. “NO WAIT! ok ok… you won…” I took a deep breath. “negan?”

“yes sweetheart?”

“you are the funniest, strongest, bravest and sexiest man in the world?” he looked at me with that arrogant smile I loved more than I cared to admit. “thank you my beautiful girl” he leaned in lightly to place a gentle kiss on my lips, one of his hands remaining on my waist and the other resting on my cheek. my hand rested naturally on his neck to intensify the kiss, i smiled softly, the kiss was so soft and full of promise. we gently separated from each other to breathe and these 3 words came out of my mouth. “i love you” his eyes softened and he placed a kiss on my forehead “i love you too princess, more than anything.”

•••••••

I was lying on his chest as he was drawing shapes on my naked hip, it was about 3 a.m.. it was dark outside and the only source of light was the beautiful full moon in the sky that passed through the thin curtains of negan's room. I was worried about everything... Alexandria, my family and Negan, he's so important to me and I wanted to protect him...

“what’s on your mind sweetheart?” he read me like an open book, and I could hardly ever lie to him. he always felt it deep in his heart.

“i’m… i’m worried about the war, i don’t want you to get hurt and i don’t want my family to get hurt… negan why does it always need to be so hard” I whispered softly, worried and sad because I knew that nothing was going to happen as planned. “i just don’t want to lose you negan, i can’t lose you.”

“everything will be fine baby, i promise”

oh, if he had known that the woman who was lying on his chest expressing her fear of losing him was going to lead to his defeat against Alexandria and get him locked up in a cell for 6 years, if only he had known... she was his soulmate… but was he hers?

••••••••

“i’m so sorry negan…”

“i know sweetheart, i know…” he hugged her as tightly as he could, as if she were going to disappear at any moment... he knew that even if she had betrayed him, she didn't mean him any harm and after all, he would never stop loving her.

[mulletmitsuya]

Tokyo Revengers Siblings Groupchat (Sano's & Akashi's)

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of drugs/rehab, mentions of stalking (it's all satirical, mostly, and i'm probably using this word wrong), angst? (i wouldn't consider it such but you'll get what i mean)

Desc: just a lil dive into two groups of sibling trios :) this is also the final timeline where everything is okay

Akashi's

Senju: she ate that

Sanzu: ?

Sanzu: what did she eat

Senju: she ate

Sanzu: what

Sanzu: what was it that she ate

Sanzu: who are we talking about

Senju: purrrr💅

Sanzu: what

Sanzu: what the fuck are you saying

Sanzu: you're pissing me off

Takeomi: can you guys shut up

Takeomi: isn't this for important things? like emergencies.

Sanzu: you act like you'd be any help if it was an emergency

Senju: i'm talking about me btw

Senju: i'm at 4 million followers 😋

Sanzu: well i'm at 4 and a half so☺

Takeomi: don't you guys run the channel together?

Sanzu: we required our fans to vote who they were mostly watching for and who's funnier

Sanzu: and that's me

Senju: you're not funny, people just love twinks these days🙄

Sanzu: fuck does that mean?🤨

Sanzu: i'm not a twink? i've been going to the gym for the past year

Senju: do you go there to take pictures or what?

Senju: cause ain't no way

Senju: also, homosexuality + skinny = twink

Takeomi: haruchiyo's not gay

Senju: and who told you that?🤨

Sanzu: i've never been attracted to anyone ever so

Senju: you have a USB of just pictures of Mikey, you fucking freak

Senju: am i just suppose to beleive you just look at them for fun

Sanzu: I'M NOT DOING WHAT U THINK I'M DOING

Sanzu: WHERE DID U EVEN FIND THAT OUT FROM

Sanzu: i'm just admiring him

Sanzu: like stop making this weird

Senju: i'm making this weird? YOU'RE A STALKER

Sanzu: IT'S NOT STALKING

Sanzu: i'm just hanging out with him from far away

Senju: with binoculars?😐

Sanzu: you wouldn't get it

Senju: your guys' obsession with the Sano's needs to be studied

Sanzu: i'm not obsessed, i'm normal

Senju: you could be arrested yk?

Senju: you know how many followers we lost the last time you got arrested?

Sanzu: they came back didn't they??? my acting in my apology video was oscar level. did you see that fucking tear? we actually got more followers after that so fuck you

Senju: chill😭

Takeomi: the "going to rehab" stunt was really good. even got people supporting you. keep up the publicity kid 👍

Sanzu: ...

Sanzu: i actually hate you tbh

Sanzu: i get addicted to drugs and the first thing you think is "how can i capitalize off of this"

Takeomi: ...that's what you did tho?

Takeomi: why are you blaming me for your drug addiction🤨

Sanzu: and you praised me for it

Sanzu: the only time you say anything nice about me is when you benefit from it, especially when there's money involved

Sanzu: but whatever

Takeomi: you blame all your problems on me. you're an adult and actions have consequences, haruchiyo. you sniffed coke, not me

Sanzu: ...

Sanzu: maybe you should admit you're a shit brother

Senju:

Senju: please stop fighting ❤

Senju: peace and love only haha

Sanzu: easy for you to say, he actually likes you

Sanzu: idgaf tho like whatever, i'm leaving

Senju: where?? we have a live in a few minutes

Sanzu: do it without me

Senju: please don't go to the Haitani's, those guys suck, they're a terrible influence

Senju: Haru?

Takeomi: he's gone

Takeomi: don't let him get to you Senju, he's just dramatic

Senju: ...right

Sanos

Izana: who the fuck is outside our window

Izana: it's 9pm

Mikey: what??

Mikey: lemme look

Mikey: oh lol that's just Haru, don't worry about it

Emma: again? Mikey...

Mikey: what?

Izana: what the fuck do you mean "don't worry about it" ????

Emma: you're enabling him :(

Emma: Haruchiyo has mental problems, so maybe you should tell him that, idk, stalking isn't normal?

Mikey: we're just hanging out tho?

Mikey: but from far away

Kakucho: does anyone see flashes from outside?

Mikey: Haru's just taking pictures of me

Izana: ???

Izana: what the fuck

Shinichiro: hey guys! can you guys get under your beds and hide? i think we might be getting robbed 😄

Shinichiro: but i'll take care of it🤞

Mikey: LMAO😭😭😭😭

Izana: what are you gonna do Shinichiro? if i may ask

Shinichiro: ...protect you

Shinichiro: i'm willing to resort to violence to save you guys

Izana: you can't fucking fight😐

Mikey: we aren't getting robbed! my good friend just likes to watch me from my window sometimes and that's okay. Haruchiyo has his own way of doing things, let him be.

Shinichiro: oh. ok!

Shinichiro: goodnight then, i suppose 🤞❤

Izana: no?

Izana: how long has he been doing this?

Izana: this is so weird wtf

Mikey: god forbid gay people have hobbies

Izana: ...?

Emma: what does this have to do with him being gay?

Mikey: idk i think he's in love with me or something, and that's pretty gay

Mikey: which i don't mind

Mikey: people just fall into my hands, i'm charming like that fr

Emma: ...sure🙂

Izana: whatever makes you sleep at night

Mikey: i don't sleep at night, the crippling depression keeps me up

Emma: you sleep 12 hours a day 😐

Mikey: that's not a lot tho

Kakucho: it's half the day...

Mikey: so

Kakucho: nothing

Shinichiro: guys don't sleep too late

Shinichiro: it's waaaay past your bedtime

Shinichiro: early bird catches the worm and all that 😄

Mikey: ...i'm 24

Mikey: fym bedtime🤨

Izana: yeah uh we're all way too old for that

Izana: except Emma

Izana: you should he asleep

Emma: nope, me and my husband are about to try for a baby😚

Kakucho: *my husband and i

Emma: he says hi btw

Mikey: DUDE

Mikey: EWWWWWWWW🤢🤮😭

Izana: what are you, 5?

Izana: also we literally didn't need to know that. i'm really grossed out rn

Izana: what made you think that was okay to say

Emma: because you guys are lonely grumpy men and i have a very active and healthy sexual relationship :))

Emma: i'm being maliceful

Emma: *maleficent

Emma: um i forgot the word

Emma: like, purposefully being mean

Emma: AHA

Emma: malicious

Izana: that took you too long

Izana: and what about it? i'm just not ready to be in a relationship rn and that's fine

Emma: you got drunk last night and cried about how lonely you were😐

Izana: lies

Izana: i need to better myself mentally in order to have a healthy relationship

Mikey: lmao is that what your therapist told you?💀

Izana: yes

Mikey: oh

Emma: ok well i'm logging off. bye🤗

Mikey: i'm gonna have to have a conversation with Ken-chin cause he can't be doing this to my little sister

Kakucho: they are married

Mikey: what's your point?

Kakucho: ...nothing

[crushedsweets]

Thinking,, Toby and Nina being lowkey obsessed w each other but it’s not obvious until they’re separated (which is rare)

me and my gf irl

ok joking but yeah. yes. i see it.

toby(whether this is platonic or not idgaf works both ways) NEEDS some fucking positivity in his life, and nina is very much that. and nina is obsessed with weirdo creepy freak guys.

ninas also very very much a people pleaser and always trying to do things for others, so she'd be bringing him liquor store goodies and beg to cook brownies at his house and rando shit, and she'd do it every day he'd let her -- which, i mean, if someones bringing u food and baking in ur house ... he eventually would hit the point of being like "hey r u coming over today" and she'd be beyond ecstatic at feeling wanted.

but when they're hanging out nina would mostly just be yapping away about whatever and tobys like "ok whatever nina" . but then, once she's gone, he's texting her asking when she's visiting again. its kinda funny kinda pathetic on both sides.

[canonically47]

I'd love to hear you rank all the All Stars from fave to least fave (and why)

i'll do least fave to fave since theres more to hate in this season, but here we go:

18. yul. idc how bad tom and jake get, riya can annoy me all she wants, alec could commit a crime and drastically drop down in my rankings, AND YUL WOULD STILL BE AT THE VERY BOTTOM OF MY DC LIST!!!!!!

i just... despise him. he has brought nothing of substance in any of his seasons and hes just homophobic, fatphobic and racist constantly. the only thing that annoys me more than yul are his fans defending him because hes FiCtIoNaL and because its fUnNy. bunch of idiots

17. jake. i dont like jake. fuck jake. he and tom used to be so high up in my list but oh how the mighty have fallen, i can barely remember a time when i was genuinely excited for their arc, now whenever i see them on screen i just beg for their scene to end as quickly as possible

16. tom. only higher than jake because he has a fun character arc in s1 and i love his design so much it redeems him a smidge in my head

15. hunter. so forgettable. idgaf about that emo white boy

14. ally. same as hunter but more annoying. ill give her a pass and place her higher because she was actually fun in s1. now shes just a whiny bitch whose gone from wah wah hunter doesnt listen to me to wah wah jake sucks

13. ashley. even more forgettable but at least shes bearable

12. tess. wait who? oh the prettier and more chill ally?? WAIT SHES IN THE SEASON???? oh wait shes gone? oh no!! anyways

11. lake. s2 is altogether very forgettable and i remember not giving a fuck about anything that had to do with her character arc. i wish we either got rosa maria back, or she got an actual arc in DCAS, but hey tomjake need to make up sooo... yeah.

10. riya. higher than lake because shes not forgettable but i still dislike her. her voice annoys me, her strategies are jus petty drama. her character design is awesome tho and i like her friendship with alec.

9. miriam. oh how the mighty have fallen. they had her here for four episodes yet they still managed to massacre her character in that time, incredible. ranked so high because her s1 self was awesome and my fav alongside alec and... tom <//3

8. connor. the fact that he is so high up should tell you a lot about the attrocity that is this season. not that i ever hated him, i just dgaf about him. this season did absolutrly nothing to make me root for him and he was useless as always, but when you have riya and yul in the same team as him, suddenly i want him to make finale. connor confuses me because jhst like fiore, he was clearly brought back to reconcile with someone (riya and alec respectively) yet he was barely given relevance or screen time and then they just eliminated him. because TOM AND JAKE GUYS!!! THEYRE STILL HERE!!! anyways yeah connor. wow

7. aiden. i used to have such deep and fun feelings about aiden and now hes just there to be toms friend. you would think getting james out gained him some independence, he would get a fun character arc outside of anyone else, but nope, hes not independent just decided to pull the lamest bitch ever. someone take him out already

6. fiore. so sad to see her so low but she was absolutely useless this season. if she doesnt come back then this show is fucked. her whole character arc built up to a reconciliation with alec yet it... never happened. radio silence. the season is still ongoing but my hopes ended with season 2

5. james. it is laughable that someone from season 2 (the second worst season) who i initially despised both for awful acting and bad morals is in the top 5 of a season he was eliminated first in but hey DCAS is really annoying me. so yeah. james!!! i miss james. do you guys think james could come back and just fucking kill jake. thatd be cool. love you james miss you sm

4. gabby. her villain arc could prove so fun but the fact that tess went all flower power at her elimination and forgave gabby for her actions might make gabby back out of her villainy which I DO NOT CARE FOR!!! I WANT MY EVIL GABBY FUCK YOU!!! anyways fun fact i also dislike gabbys voice actress because she thinks YELLING REALLY FUCKING LOUDLY = excitement so that made me dislike gabby for a long time. so now there are two characters in the top 5 whom i originally disliked. something about two nickels

3. grett. my love, she has done nothing wrong ever, my sweet little creature, my adorable cutsie patootsie, FUCKING DUMP YUL ALREADY OH MY GODDD her. i love her, ive loved her since the very beginning, i always rooted for her, if she doesnt make finale then this is rigged

2. ellie. my wife,,,, the way they treated you is abysmal come heal im my arms take as much time as you need,,, "oh but she bad-mouthed everyone on the show" IDC SO HAVE I GOOD FOR HER!!! GIRL FUCK EVERYONE THATS NOT IN MY TOP 7 IDC I EVEN AGREE WITH WHAT SHE SAID ABOUT MY FAVS!!! yall want more complex female characters but cannot handle ellie,,,, so weird to me that this trainwreck of a show has her in it someone free her

1. alec. is anyone surprised? ive loved alec since the first moment i saw him. he was the first decent, not over the top actor i heard, the best personality, the best arc, the best relationships. if he doesnt make finale then i WILL be upset because he deserves it and always has. that finale was bullshit and they pulled that thing with fiore and alec strictly for shock value. i miss them,, anyways ALEC!!! HE IS THE DISVENTURE CAMPER EVER!!!!!!! NEVER RUINED NEVER MISCHARACTERIZED PLEASE GODS ABOVE STOP GIVING ONC CRACK AND STEER THEM AWAY FROM COMMITING WRONGS AGAINST ALEC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

side note: top three can sometimes mix depending on mood but they remain the same three characters just different positions sometimes :3

thanks for the ask this was fun and as you see i am so normal

[fullmoonfireball]

PIKMIN TREASURES TOURNAMENT, ROUND 4, MATCH 2

Propaganda:

Stone of Advancement

“it nearly kills you the second you find it. OUT OF MY WAY !!!!!!!”

“gave me a funny collin clip”

“it has a whole cutscene about almost crushing you. What other treasure can say that for itself”

King of Bugs

“Louie betraying you and then you collecting him as a treasure is really great.”

“he [is] technically classed as a treasure lol”

“Giving his life a monetary value of 10 is SAVAGE”

“Isn’t the greatest treasure the friends we made along the way?”

“it’s just Louie and I think that’s hilarious”

“tfw you are worth as much as a leaf”

“my fav title for Louie is food thief. he is worth 10 poko. truly a terrible thang”

“The real treasure was my wife all along”

“HE IS WORTH SOSO SO MUCH MORE THAN TEN POKOS. PLEAS. PUT SOME RESPECT ON HIS NAME HES GONE THRU SO MUCH IDGAF”

“we need battle of the L’s. L Wars. cmon folks.”

“my son who is worth 10 pokos”

"guy worth 10 pokos"

[ausern4me]

I LOVED THAT EPISODE IT WAS HYSTERICAL

this is gunna be a longggg post

this scene made me question things. WHOS GUNNA BE HOST NEXT SEASON?! AND LIKE I FEAR AFTER THIS SEASON WE WILL SEE NO MORE TREVOR OR DEREK!!?!?! I NEED TREVOR AND DEREK IDC. JUST DEREK STOP BEING AN ASS AND MAKE IT UP TO YOUR BESTIE.

I feel like Krystal and oliver might be a better match than derek and krystal???? (mainly cuz trevek LMFAO)

SHIP SHIP SHIP SHIP

BESTIES FOR LIFE

JKDJSHAKFJWEWUHEWIFUKJF THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD WTF ALEC YOUR SO FUNNY I DONT HATE YOU ANYMORE

(i changed the last bit at the top) I DONT HATE YOU. JUST LOOK AT HIS LIL BOWTIE LMFAOOO

EVEN MY LIL POOKS LOVES IT

#LOVESICK

AH YES THE JELOUSY

HE CANT COPE </3

THATS RIGHT, SNAP AT THAT BITCH

YOU SHOULD KNOW YOU FUCKED UP

TREVEK CLIP AYYYY

just yeah... ALEC I CAN SEE YOU CARE ABOUT HIM

THE HURT IN THIS MANS EYES

WOW

I HATE YOU RYIA GRRRR

I never liked you but now I HATE YOU

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU DO THAT TO JAKE

bros just passed out on the floor

old man yaoi

eh dont really like either/ have no strong feelings towards

Dont really like gabby tbh, never have done (idk why)

SORRY IM GLAD SHES GONE

RAKAKAKAKAKAAKAKAK ALEC YOUR SO FUNNY

the way his face drops after he sees connor isnt happy HE CARES ABOUT THIS MAN

IDGAF WHAT ANYONE SAYS JAKE IN HIS LIL SLEEPING BAG IS CUTE AF

HE WILL ALWAYS BE MY NUMBER 1 ALONGSIDE TREVOR

awh connor <3

Anywayyy i need ally out next episode. I NEED HER GONE. I NEED HER GONZO

if i could have it my way, ally goes, riya goes, then idc maybe like alec?

BUT IF ANY OF THESE WIN ILL BE OK: jake, alec, aiden, connor, grett

ryia dosent diserve the win, shes a bitch.

IF ALLY OR RYIA WIN IM GUNNA RUN.

thank you and goodbye

LMFAO

[mermaidsirennikita]

I was just on Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland and thought, “a pirate romance would be great right about now.” Any recs? Thank you!

I dooo--these aren't really true-blue Golden Age of Piracy PIRATE PIRATE recs because a lot of those are *quite* old and *quite* problematic even by my standards... And I mean, that era of piracy is kind of inherently rough because piracy like, directly intersected with the slave trade, among other things, etc.

If you're open to something more magical and whimsical, I would absolutely recommend India Holton's The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels and The League of Gentlewoman Witches. They're set in a Victorian world populated by thieves and witches and pirates who fly like, airships. They're SO funny and sexy and romantic, but they still hav stakes, too. I actually find the heroes of both books very piratey. One is like, a charmer sort of like, borderline himbo, and the other is one of the slickest heroes I've ever read. Both are great, Gentlewoman Witches edges out the first for me juuust a little because of how the sex in that one works. She's just like "I am very stressed" and he's like "I have a solution". At one point they're just jacking/fingering each other while steering the ship lmao.

Scandalous Desires by Elizabeth Hoyt OF COURSE. Charming Mickey O'Connor (one of the greatest hero names of all time sorry) is a river pirate. He's very successful, very dangerous, and has an incredibly OTT accent that Elizabeth Hoyt sells because it's Elizabeth Hoyt and she can sell almost anything. His heroine is a Quaker widow who ends up trapped on his ship because he, GET THIS, left his bastard infant daughter on her orphanage doorstep, and a year later, after she's fallen in love with this baby, shows up like "SO YEAH WE'RE IN DANGER AND I CAN'T HAVE PEOPLE USING SHIT AGAINST ME SO I WANT THAT BABY BACK EVEN THO IDGAF ABOUT IT". And Silence is like well if you're taking the baby you're taking ME too. And so he does.

The Hawk by Monica McCarty has a medieval hero who's like, a lord and shit, but also very much a self-acknowledged pirate. He's always swimming naked and using his piratical ways to do spy shit for Robert the Bruce. His heroine is an uptight Irish noblewoman he literally fishes out of the sea. This is indeed the "they fuck on a raft in the middle of a storm because the storm makes her anxious" book.

How to Tame a Wild Rogue by Julie Anne Long has a hero who's a privateer, which is BASICALLY THE SAME THING LBR. The action doesn't really take place on the ship, because he and the heroine end up in the same room at this boarding house during a once in a lifetime storm (it's like a bottle episode romance, it's really fascinating) but he's still got that pirate charm. She's a spinster and has kinda missed out on life. At one point they play this weird old-timey game to pass the time and it gets oddly sexual, which is such a Julie Anne Long thing.

Shadowheart by Laura Kinsale. Allegreto is, while also being an assassin and political mover and shaker, a pirate on the side. Part of the book does take place on a ship, I believe, and the interesting thing is that it also takes place, in part, in VENICE, so you get the whole canal life. Allegreto is legit crazy. TW: noncon for the first encounter, one of those forced consummation things because he needs the heroine to marry him as a part of his Evil Plot.

(Sidebar: I always find this scene so interesting, because it is very obviously noncon, but in a way that I think is period-accurate she sort of is like more mad about her virginity being gone? Because she needs that for marital and political reasons? And she also realizes that he SUPER got off on her biting him, and he's shaken because she really wasn't supposed to know that he was into that, and SHE begins to connect the dotes re: his sexual inclinations, in that he wants her to dominate him, which is a major weakness of his.)

Lord of Temptation by Lorraine Heath. The hero's brother basically sold him--he was willing--to piratey types when they were young teens because they were on the run from their evil uncle. So he grew up and became this well known captain/pirate. Now he's sort of integrated back into polite society, but he doesn't want it, so he goes out to sea and ends up escorting the heroine when she's on the way to see her fiancee. Cue sex on a boat. This one is really fun because it gives major ILLICIT AFFAIRS.

Any Duke in a Storm by Amalie Howard. Arguably the most traditional piratey one here. The heroine is actually a spy, but she has this pirate identity and is very cold and fierce. The hero (who naturally is both piratey and a duke) becomes her first mate (or something like that) and she actually thinks he's a part of the illegal operation she's trying to bust. HOWEVER, things get complicated because he's wildly attracted to her and trying to get into her pants. There is indeed a fight where she ends up on top of him and realizes he's massively hard and there are like 12 pirates watching.

[cal-gabes]

RUNNING HERE BC I SAW A POST AND JUST. Y’ALL ARE BEINF SUBJECTED TO MY SOURCE MEMORIES AND IDGAF WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT IT. THESE ARE SILLY 2 ME!!! 😾 (using cat emojis is so fun)

POST UNDER THE CUT SO YOU DONT SUFFER

( Hi! I feel the need to say; I’m aware i’m not my source. I just heavily lean towards it due to the comfort it brings! secondly, if you think i’m weird just don’t interact and move on? you have to SEARCH to find my blog. I don’t tag anything relating 2 my source so it’s kinda ur own fault really. Thx! )

— Ukrainian + Polish!!!!! Born and raised in america BUT YEAH

— I genuinely love sharks and trains; I use to ramble about my favorite shark, the lemon shark, all the time and yes I was punched bc of it (he cared about me I promise/silly)

— Snake bites + center tongue piercing were my dream ngl. still is but you get my point

— I had 1 tattoo and it was a stick n poke I did while high… it was a smiley on my inner thigh

— There was not a day at the kriegman’s that I did not actively try to cuddle with mel. whoever started the allegations that me and her didn’t get along are wrong; i babied her just as much as andre tyvm.

— Low iron would’ve been the death of me if it weren’t for ZD tbh. I forgot my meds so damn often and no, reminders did NOT help.

— Let rachel and my sister do my makeup one time; got deemed “Princess Caralyne” and have not let go of that sense even if i’m FtM. Forever princess caralyne. idc man. 🫶

— I did steal shit from andre a lot tbh. mainly random trinkets I found in his room and he never noticed???? he might’ve but honestly he never got onto me about it so 💀

— Mindlessly pressing my tongue to my cheek. Got yelled at often bc I’d zone out looking at the dumbass while doing it. Yeah…

— OKAY ENOUGH RELATING 2 ANDRE. My favorite thing to eat was pizza even tho i despised and continue to despise cheese. idk it tastes funny 2 me.

— I was forced to play uno with my siblings so many times and lost too many times for my ego to be intact but it still is bc I beat them in everything else.

— Broke my leg once and had to use crutches and threatened to wack someone in the head with them when I’d get fed up…

— DPD, ASD and ADD haunted me like the plague and still do. I can’t escape my suffering man.

— Being deadass, I bit everything I could any chance i got.

OKAY SHIT ABOUT ANDRE NOW + my weird ass relationship w/ him… HI BABE WHEN U SEE THIS ENJOY MY WEIRD MEMORIES OF U REGARDING SOURCE :3

— He had a freckle on the back of his neck that looked like a heart and I 100% kissed it whenever I could. got hit each time and nearly broke my nose too many times… but worth it nonetheless!!!

— Not much of a hugger, but did hold my hand if he thought I needed some form of affection which was nice!

— No, he really did lose it every time I said lieutenant. not just bc he was mad prior. he hated it and I loved to piss him off w/ it.

— THAT MAN NEEDED GLASSES ISTG. HE COULDNT SEE FOR SHIT HALF THE TIME.

— He would stare at people with murderous intent the second they mention any accent from him and it was honestly terrifying???

— Frog blinks. he frog blinked without meaning to and it was adorable. called him froggy for a very long while.

— He bailed me. he bailed me out of jail 3 times and we aren’t getting into that.

— Proper communication? nahhh. avoiding you for weeks then showing back up as if he wasn’t gone at all? mm. that’s it, that hits the spot./silly

I will probably post more shit like this about other stuff too because just wehlehfkdhdkfb happy

[zalrb]

Anon-Requested Love Island USA Review - Episode 3 (out of, like, 8 million)

"Are you a fuck boy?" "I've been nice to you!" Fuck boys don't BEGIN mean, Hakeem.

"I'm with Hannah right now but your boy, Hakeem" I like how Connor and Hakeem have to be friends for no other reason than that they arrived on the island together.

"Promise not to judge me? I really like books on serial killers" So, crime novels or true crime nonfiction.

So, it didn't take Hercules coming in for Coye to feel stressed. Just a man who eats a cookie once in a while.

"He, like, set up a little, like, secret thing at the dock" he literally just asked you to meet him there. It's like when everyone freaks out because the Beast showed Belle his library. He's just letting her go to another room in the castle he's locked her in.

No but really, why are you waking up and hugging each other? LOL. You just slept. You didn't go away. What? Idk I'm not a morning person. I understand hugging before sleeping more than hugging after waking up.

Aaron, get that toothpaste off of your mouth PLEASE.

Why do you need a signal? You came in and gave avocado toast and then left and now Leah is gone too. You think people won't know where she went? Also, if you're all about honesty you should just be like, Leah can I see you for a second?

"We're locked in ... ... but we will talk to other people." So you are not, in fact, locked in.

A CUSTOM LOUIS VUITTON HOLDER FOR HIS BLUNTS? Leah, WHAT? You spent a grand on WHAT?

Did you buy him a house or something?? Aaron, she spent 2,500 dollars.

Why are you mad that Kaylor spent 5 grand on a man? That means she could spend that much on you??

We're going to find out what your girl's body count is. IN 2024? WHY?

"I swear to god she lied to me. She's a fucking liar." Coye, SHUT UP. Why does this MATTER?

"Let's find out how many times your boy has ghosted somebody." What, do they count? How would they know? How do you know it's exactly 50 women you've ghosted. How do you know that it's 1001 women you've ghosted?

"He's giving a wholesome king energy." Mmhmm. His body count is high.

Aaron's body count: 75 Kaylor: *let's out of a wail of despair*.

He was questioning ME about MY body count, well in that case you should eviscerate him.

Connor who apparently slept with 53 women thinks a woman sleeping with 15 men is too many men? "It LoOks LiKe A dOuBlE sTaNdaRd" because it IS, you dickhead.

Let's also apply the American Pie "Rule of Three" to the men.

Hakeem: It shouldn't be more than me! What if she's just a better closer than you, though?

TEN, AARON? WHAT IF SHE, LIKE YOU, WAS HEARTBROKEN? "I don't actually care" you put down a number.

YOUNG KING, YOUNG KING. Don't make me laugh.

Coye is RIDICULOUS. The amount of women you slept with could be the size of a church congregation, gtfoh.

JaNa was throwing shots at you. Coye: idgaf. I'm 6'8.

Coye, I know you're 6'8 but you still have to SPEAK. "I don't want to open up too fast" but you need to say something.

JaNa: I want clarity. Coye: How much clearer can I be? I am 6'8.

"I told him I had a good conversation with Connor and he was like 'cool' and it's like FIGHT FOR SOMEONE" lmao, see, Brucas shippers, it's not just a Lucas thing.

We are conveniently going to take a selfie on the balcony where we will just HAPPEN to see Leah and Rob together on one of their dates where Rob does literally nothing but just ask her to sit.

But good news, the fellas' body count will go down! No, it will stay the same.

JaNa, Coye is not a 10/10 he is just 6'8.

Aww, Serena and Kordell.

These re-couplings are not very dramatic so far. Where is the twist.

Wouldn't it be funny if Leah didn't choose Rob?

You can explore different people but if you're feeling someone more, just say that. Literally, though.

There is NO REASON why this music should make me feel like I'm watching a Christopher Nolan movie. SETTLE DOWN.

I'm glad she chose Connor. I don't trust Connor because while Rob is a serpent, Connor may be a demon because LOOK at those EYES

but Coye was BORING and arrogant. The 6'8 sway can only last so long, sir.

JaNa: I'm sorry. Coye: It's all good. (he's 6'8. he'll be fine.)

[reallylilyreally]

Seven(ish) Sentence Sunday

Rules: Post sevenish) sentences of your current WIP - or just a snippet who cares! And tag your writer friends to see what they're working on.

It's not Sunday and IDGAF - thanks for the tag @swifty-fox

little bit of the ongoing mortar squad sidequest...

The aid station is its own kind of hell. There’s not enough resource to evacuate, or enough places to take them to, and so they’re only barely better off here than they were on the line. 

“That leg’s gonna need to go,” one of the doctors says, looking down at Bill as if he’s not able to hear them talking about him. “If we can’t get him out of here in the next few hours we’ll need to do it ourselves.”

Don watches the way Bill bares his teeth, the ferocious way he takes his fear and pain and turns them into sharp points to shove up into other people’s weakness. Bill makes a comment Don can’t quite hear, and the doctor flinches, and moves away. 

On his other side, Joe Toye is wearing the exact same expression, the face that Don has quietly come to think of as an Easy company face, jaw rigid and hands perfectly, perfectly flat on the sheets by his sides as one of the nurses pulls each fragment of shrapnel out of his chest. 

“I hope you’re counting those,” Alex says thickly, from where he’s propped on a chair at the foot of the beds. “We got records to keep.”

Joe makes a noise that would have been a laugh if any of this were in any way funny, and Don feels like he might die, just from how impossibly, unspeakably brave they all are and how much he loves them and how bad everything is right now. Joe’s leg is gone. 

tagging @euph0riacc and @london-cowboy and anyone else who feels like it...

[unfunky-and-out-of-time]

seeing a lot of reactions to ep 7 and as someone who has barely seen ep 4-6 i thought id be the perfect person to share my thoughts on it

this was more watchable than the other eps. tbh i am lowkey checked out w most of the character and seeing the ones i really liked become boring is a shame..... mm was my absolute fav and theres something about his arc this season that feels like his character is stagnating. when i thought his struggle in s3 was arguably one of the best arcs of the entire show! so yeah idk. that sucks

frenchie idgaffffffffffffff about i think he stopped being a good character after s2. tbh the show is generally at its strongest when it explores the dynamics between the characters and idk whats up but i think the writers this season got sick of it? its silly

^ adding to this. hughie and butchers dynamic is just completely gone..... kind of funny bc this is literally what its been about. imagine breaking bad but walt and jesse dont talk. the few dynamics they still remember feel like theyve been... declawed? mm and butcher fight but its whatever. annie and butcher disagree and who gaf they HAVE to work together (i strongly disagree with this and also i dont think the boys shouldve reunited at the end of s3 but thats another story)

i also really dislike that we havent brought up lenny in so long. he's so crucial to butchers character. i also just generally miss butcher and homelanders dynamic even if idgaf about him. that was the other central dynamic of the show imo. i miss when butcher would hallucinate homelander mocking him! i need kessler to start rolling his eyes at butcher or else....

a few specific thoughts:

ive known about butcher cheating on becca for months now and thought it was incredibly stupid and ruined a lot of his character. mulled over it for a few months and came to the conclusion that its not absolutely out of character. i do think butchers relationship with becca is his central moral guide and that he put much more on her than you should in any healthy relationship and that she was probably aware of it but definitely not to the total extent. like i always say he probably just spent hours staring at the wall waiting for her to come home when they were married. i also think he is a huge self-saboteur and i do believe becca made him want to be better (even if its not in a traditionally healthy way etc whateverrr) but i think especially with a guy like him it wasnt all very straight and nice. they must have had a lot of ups and downs and i think becca knew him as much as he let her (in s2 she says something along the lines with "this didnt start with me" and butcher also says "what was i before you? nothing") because that to me would show what made their relationship so special and central to butchers character. i do not think her death made him snap, i think her love made him hold back and believe he was content with a simple life even if that would never be the case. at the same time i think he fully believed he was completely undeserving of her love and that paired with his alcohol abuse would get to him.

"becca lied to both butcher and ryan so ryan saying she would want him to tell the truth doesnt make sense" this is kind of funny bc like..... she is allowed to be a hypocrite? and i think it makes her much more interesting for it? she was dealt absolutely shitty cards and the entire situation is unjust so pointing this out is kind of weird. she can absolutely preach one thing and do another this is literally every other character on this show

butcher and ryans dynamic is probably the only thing i have an unpopular opinion on but thats because my take on them is heavily painted by their pre s3-finale interactions and the writers chose to take a different route with them after that

[allylikethecat]

"I'm starting to get worried y'all hate this fic and me..." WRONG if i ever say anything negative about you then shoot me because that is NOT ME!!!!!!

ok no formattying (that was unintentional but its funny so im leaving it) sorry, but im going insane over this chapter like KAJDHWKJS. george feeling guilty !!!!!!!!! im literally about to die pls. the END omg im dying. theyre both so sad i just want to shake them by the shoulders and yell TALK at them PLEASE. speak. COMMUNICATE. sorry i cant even form words im so tired but id read this fic from my grave idgaf.

"But most of all he hated himself." STOP IT. IM GONNA CRY. george no pls he loves u u love him talk it out its fine its fine talk it out IM GONNA SCREAM. ok. insanity over. enjoy your day and i hope you are blessed by the gods for this fic i sweae

AHHH Hello again!! AHHH Thank you so much for reading oh my gosh!! You weren't kidding about reading it asap! Also sorry for being insecure on main 😭 sometimes the self doubt creeps in even when I don't want it to... rationally I know that I write my fics for fun, for me, because I enjoy it, but sometimes I get nervous when I don't see any feedback on them since I don't have a beta reader anymore... then I fully convince myself they suck or that I have gone completely in the wrong direction 😬

Yes! Fictional!George is feeling SO GUILTY he has finally had time to like... settle down and has realized that maybe he reacted a little irrationally / over the top... and also more than that he misses Fictional!Matty, yes he's jealous of the success he's having but he doesn't look happy in any of the pictures he just looks tired and that makes Fictional!George sad. He's spend MONTHS working to get Fictional!Matty to look a little less haunted and he personally has ruined all of his hard work 💀 Hopefully they'll talk things out soon... 😇

LOL Fictional!George is now shifting his hatred of Fictional!Matty inward (was he just projecting his own issues with self worth onto Fictional!Matty the entire time 🤔 idk but I think both of them need some therapy...) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING and your INCREDIBLE ask omg!! I am currently watching the SCF so we will see how my day ends up hahahaha (Get your shit together Panthers if you blow this after leading the series 3-0 I will never recover) I hope you are having the most wonderful of Fridays and that you have a wonderful weekend!!

❤️Ally

[starlightkun]

lmao i saw this on my dash and was wondering if you felt this way

https://www.tumblr.com/16woodsequ/727490027584667648?source=share

cause you rarely write drabbles, everything you write is like full fic length and takes longer and i see you posting little progress updates and little notes about each fic without spoiling. as someone who likes to talk (may or may not be the adhd idk) i cant imagine being in your position like WEREWOLF SUNGCHAN! EXISTS! IN MY MIND! AND ON THIS DOCUMENT THAT YOU CANT SEE! BUT HE'S REAL!! HE'S REAL TO ME!! like how do you do it? having no one to scream to about your fics when you're writing? and having to wait until its completed and uploaded to have people to talk about it with? like especially with all the crack fics you're writing atm, i would be BURNING with the need to show people how funny your writing is

p.s. medication update: im going to switch from methylphenidate to dexamphetamine tmr because apparently im intolerant to ritalin and i think you're on dexamphetamine rn? im hoping that i see some benefits from it. btw your success is keeping some of my spirit and motivation up despite how abysmal ritalin was for me so thank you for posting about how Adderall was for you i really appreciate having someone experiencing meds alongside me 🫶🏻

-✨anon

link

LMAO sometimes that's me and sometimes i'm writing and i'm like "im never letting another living human see this abomination im writing rn this is the worst thing i've ever written and the only penance for what i've done is to throw myself off a cliffside" like there is no in between im either SO EXCITED FOR IT AND ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT AND AM SO AKSEGKJHKJGKTR or i think it's awful and consider deleting it almost immediately after like this scene for changer2 im writing rn like literally as i got this ask (im not gonna delete it but she is gonna b HEAVILY EDITED)

it's fr so hard having werewolf sungchan AND hockey player sungchan BOTH IN MY MIND RN LIKE 🤪 screams everyday i put on my uniform to go fight in the idgaf war on the side of gaf 🫡🫡🤪🤪🫡🤪🫡🤪🤪🤣🤣🫡🤪🤪🫡 lest we also not forget that single dad kun is in here too and some other fellas that yall dont know abt like its soooooo bad in here for me

sometimes i contemplate posting random one-liners or snippets when i write things that make me teehee extra hard or r like rlly 🔥🔥🚨🚨🚨 but i always get worried about spoilers versus teasers soooo i keep it locked away all to myself and maybe go a lil crazy idk who's to say so i do more vague type stuff like talking about how there's a 2.6k makeout scene without posting any actual lines from it, or saying that one of my favorite character bits that i think is genuinely super funny is in dr. magic but not saying what it is, etc., etc., OR also doing ask games like word in a wip where y'all can try to get some lil snippets from me (which i feel i am always very generous with lol)

p.s. to ur p.s.: very happy to hear that you're getting switched off the meds that weren't working for you! i'm on "amphetamine salts" (generic adderall) which is a combo of dextroamphetamine and levoamphetamine, but pretty much yeah it's the big one in the amphetamine class of adhd meds. it has a sightly different effect than dextroamphetamine alone since it has levoamphetamine as well, which lasts longer and can produce better results in some people (pls go w ur dr on this im not giving medical advice omg just what i learned in my psych classes and the information i've been given). i actually just saw my dr today to check in on how i was doing on the adderall (reg check-up appt). i was rlly worried bc the initial good results i saw in the first days were practically gone after like the first week and i was practically back to normal (i.e., bad. my kitchen is a fucking mess again) and when i told him that he was like "lol that's fine! that was just the trial dose! so we can up you to a normal dose now since you saw good results at first" so hopefully i'll be functioning again 👍 so i love this for us 🫶 rooting for us 🫶��

[lady-tortilla-chip]

4, 9, 16, 24, 30, 32, 44 for the fic asks 👀 (- thinkingisadangerouspastime)

I love seeing you here on tumblr again Amy!! 😘

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

Three?? THREE??? Ah fuck. I’m linking more than that idgaf about RULES. That doesn’t say three it says five AT LEAST.

Works not by my friends:

Where Your Loyalties Lie (BSD fic which is glorious and an au so anyone out of the fandom can read it and experience it too)

The Iron King Sings (a song for the lover) (ATLA fic that is just an absolute masterpiece)

Works by my friends:

Baobao (THE tysuki fic which hasn’t left my mind nor my heart since I read it)

A Different Possibility ( @all-inmoderation I need you to know I think about this fic all the time)

It’s In Her Kiss, Black As Sea (also a fic which haunts me)

I’m leaving this list here but YALL the amount of my friends who have written LIFE changing fics is incredible and for the following question I am recommending them all.

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

Again? THREE? Nope. The following people deserve ALL THE RECOGNITION AND LOVE

@praetorqueenreyna

@thinkingisadangerouspastime

@irresistible-revolution

@avatraang

@justoceanmyth

@azulaang-chakras

@shifuaang

@thetpot

16. Do you research for your fics? If so, how deep of a rabbit hole have you gone down by accident when researching?

The research I do is for the most random shit and it’s either way too deep and lasts for hours or shallow as a puddle and only enough to be vaguely accurate in my fic. And there is no in between. I also don’t research often for big things that I definitely should. I can’t tell you why.

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

Hmmmm idk! I don’t think I hate any particular trope enough. For example, I don’t like soulmate aus but that’s because of the way they’re often written and not because there is anything inherently wrong with the trope itself.

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

Sneaky sneaky 👀

Okie here just for you Amy-

Aang doesn’t think much of it when he goes to leave the temple, just that he needs to get away. Away from Katara’s sure and righteous anger and Sokka’s tried and true skepticism of it all. Everyone else isn’t aware of what occurred with Zuko though they’re all aware that something unpleasant happened. None of them have scraped up enough bravery to question either Katara or Sokka about it.

That’s for the best, Aang thinks. He doesn’t particularly care to hear a rehash of what happened in their words. Their version of it would just frustrate him, as much he knew because they thought Zuko was lying or playing at something when Aang already knew he wasn’t.

Doubted Zuko even had it in him to play a game like that.

Aang already knew he was sincere and hadn’t questioned that.

The question was whether Aang had any sincerity left to give back.

32. Copy and paste your top three favorite lines/jokes/sentences you’ve ever written. What fics do they come from?

For reasons that include I haven’t written funny much you’ll get one scene—

The mechanic rolled his eyes with another huff, though it was more for show than anything else. Rhodey was right, he usually was. “FRIDAY, can you believe him?”

“He’s right, boss, you’ve been making poor decisions regarding mister Strange since you realized your more than platonic feelings for him. I saw no reason to rebut any of his statements. Especially after what happened earlier.”

“My decisions haven’t been that bad.”

Rhodey gave him a funny look as FRIDAY responded with —“I will make no further comment.”

Tony’s eyes widened to a comical size as he said, “Baby girl I think your silence is worse.”

“I do not believe so, boss.”

44. Rant about something writing related.

Why is it so fucking HARD