#fun fact: none of these bowl cuts are actually spock

[spirk-trek]

Progressions Fanzine | Merle Decker for "A Learning Experience" by Lanora Moore, 1985

[mlm-writer]

Sexy Cop, Bad Cop Pt. 5

As always thanks to my partner in crime @gentlemccoy for helping me with the story and beta’ing it. 

Original prompt here by @thetwelfthpanda

Completely SFW aside from swear words. 

Word count: 1322

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Jim kept explaining everything to - and flirting with - Spock. The Vulcan seemed little affected by the latter. He surprised everyone with his cooperativeness. Jim received the credit for that and with it also permission to take Spock without any guards to the cafeteria for lunch.

Apparently Bones did not count as a guard, but he might as well have been. Before they left the room, Bones made a point of letting Spock know that he was armed at all times, as a precaution specially for him. The two humans left with Spock between them. Spock walked as rigid as always; Bones kept his eyes on the bowl-cut as if its existence offended him and Jim was uncharacteristically tense because of the tension between Spock and Bones.

Unsurprisingly the eyes in the cafeteria were all on the trio when they entered. Spock could not blame the humans for staring. Of course they all heard of the extraterrestrial in their midst and naturally none of them had seen one before. “So what do Vulcans eat?” Jim asked as he grabbed a tray for both Spock and himself. Spock took the one handed to him and followed Jim like a youngling following its mother. Commander McCoy in turn followed Spock, but not like a youngling. No, rather like a predator following its prey. “Vulcans have a very adaptable metabolism. However, because of our philosophy, we would rather not consume any animal products.” Spock heard the man behind him scoff. The Vulcan turned to the dark-haired human with a questioning raised brow. Commander McCoy returned the favour with the same gesture.

Jim was for a moment unaware of the other two having a ‘staring with a raised eyebrow’ competition. He kept thinking out loud which food would be preferable for Spock. Philosophy? Given how logical Vulcans apparently tried to appear, at least for as far as Jim’s knowledge went for now, that was the Vulcan word for religion, though they would probably deny having any. Spock’s options were limited to a veggie burger or a beet salad. “So which one sounds better?” He finally raised his gaze from the food only to see Spock and Bones still near the stack of trays. “Guys?” The two finally broke their gaze and moved their feet. “I apologise”, Spock responded when he was closer to Jim again. “I recommend to take the veggie burger since the salad looks disgusting”, Jim suggested with a clear disgust for the sight of salad. “And what are you going to take?” Bones asked, clearly not pleased with what Jim’s choice of the day was. He just knew what it was already, but Bones being the ever-hopeful man he was believed that if he questioned Jim’s choices enough, he might amend them. “The burger, what else?” Jim smirked, eliciting a displeased sigh from Bones. “You’re gonna get diabetes with your eating habits”, he complained as he grabbed a sandwich for himself. Jim could not quite see what was on it, but knowing Bones, it was probably chicken. “Bones, is coca cola vegan”, Jim asked as he grabbed a can for himself and held another in hand for Spock. Bones sighed again as he took the can from Jim’s hand and read through the ingredients list. After a short moment, he put it on Spock’s tray next to the veggie burger. “Have fun feeding the alien your junk food.”

Shortly after the three of them sat in the corner, most eyes on them. Spock had insisted on using cutlery. Jim had told him at least ten times that burgers were human culture and meant to be eaten without cutlery. Spock had countered that humans were an underdeveloped society. Jim was pretty sure he called humans savages. Underdeveloped or not Jim was enjoying his burger. It took him at least three bites before he looked up and saw the mutual disgust on both the other males’ faces. The origin of Bones’ disgust was clear. He feared for Jim’s health. Spock, however, was not so clear about his revulsion as the older human at the table, but Jim could already tell the smallest hints of emotion on Spock’s face. “Is something wrong, Mr Spock?” Jim asked after swallowing his bite. Spock raised his brows for a short moment, before he looked down at his burger and cut what seemed to be the first piece. “I do not believe it is a wrongdoing, lieutenant. I merely find your human eating habits to be repulsing”, he almost politely stated before taking a small bite. He seemed a little displeased at the taste of the veggie burger, but he ate it nonetheless. Jim frowned. Was it the meat? Was it the fact he ate with his hands? Was it him? “Uhm, Spock… what exactly is it that you find uh… repulsing?” Spock opened his mouth to say something, but Bones beat him to it. “Well first of all, do you have any idea how much fat is in that thing?” Bones had put his sandwich down, making Jim sigh at the knowledge that meant he was going to get a lecture.

“And secondly, you got sauce all over your face. I’m your best friend and even I find that repulsing.” Leonard handed Jim his napkins. The older male knew Jim always forgot to take those and always took twice as many to make up for his best friend’s eating habits. What he saw when the other took the napkins actually surprised him. Lecturing Jim about his eating habits and messiness was a daily occurrence everyone was used to. Normally Jim would take the napkins and wipe his face with a playful grin, probably enjoying getting Leonard worked up. Today, however, he looked almost ashamed of the ordeal as he wiped his mouth thoroughly. “Commander McCoy, on Vulcan it is against our philosophy to consume any products originating from animals. We also possess a strong aversion to consuming products without the usage of cutlery.” Leonard looked at the aliens, slightly impressed by noticing Jim’s out-of-character behavior too. Then again, who knows what those two were up to last night? “Want a piece of advice from me? Don’t drink that crap. It is like diabetes in a can.” Leonard pointed to the can of cola, before resuming his lunch. He was not up for culture classes. Jim quickly slipped back into character, telling about the whole history of coca-cola, as if it belonged to the must-knows of human culture. At most it was a must-know to understand obesity in the Unites States, but who was Leonard to break his best friend’s happy ramble?

After lunch, Jim and Leonard were forced to part with Spock. The alien needed to go for MRI scans and Christine was convinced Spock was not the violent type. Probably true, since the alien valued other living beings so much, he wouldn’t even eat an egg or something. “Okay, spill the beans.” Leonard looked up from his paperwork. Jim at some point had crossed the room and was now leaning against the commander’s desk. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Leonard folded his hands on top of his desk and looked innocently up at Jim. The blonde sighed and pulled a chair over, so he could sit near Leonard. He leaned close and spoke quietly. “You’re not as good in hiding things as you like to think you are. Well… At least not for me. So tell me what has been on your mind since this morning.”

Leonard sighed heavily. How was this kid both thick in the head and perceptive at the same goddamn time? The commander looked down and opened the drawer under his desk. In it was the piece of black cloth. He took it out and lied it on the desk, looking Jim dead in the eye. “I found it this morning”, Leonard clarified, not taking his eyes off his best friend.