#fun fact: i was born and raised in a catholic family

[strangehellhole]

So i’ve heard that the Vatican made a cute little anime mascot…

Ooh hit post! Have fun with little Luce ya’ll, but not too much 🫵

[thelaurenshippen]

this month's mixtape is Desperate Hollow! I write notes to all of my playlists and this month, I also wrote a ton about the process of working on this story, so if y'all are interested in that too, I'm happy to post that writing here! just let me know. but for now, music and rivals-to-friend-to-enemies-to-lovers feelings.

here are the basics that you need to know: Tex Bullock (a name he chose at 11) joined the notorious Barlowe Boys after he was orphaned at 8 years old, with Barlowe taking him under his wing. Sawyer Watson was similarly orphaned years later and fell in with the gang when he and Tex were both 14. they did not like each other at first. but fast forward thirteen years and they've become the best of friends, with feelings beyond friendship buried in both their hearts, when a confrontation with Barlowe leads to Sawyer shooting Tex in the chest and leaving him for dead. 

fast forward again, seven years this time, and Sawyer has been living in a dead-end town (Desperate Hollow, of course) when who should roll into town, horseless and clearly running from something, but Tex. 

that is, more or less, everything you need to know that happens in the first few chapters. okay, let's get into it: 

1. "Bottom of the River" - Delta Rae

This playlist was started so long ago, in 2019, and since then I've honed so much about the story, even though I haven't touched this playlist. As a result, a lot of the songs are seeking a vibe that I hadn't quite clicked into - this is definitely a vibe song. It sounds to me like dragging yourself across dusty plains, hoping that salvation will come find you soon, either in the sight of civilization or in death. Essentially: where Tex begins.

2. "Born This Way" - Bear and a Banjo

Though both Sawyer and Tex have their own playlists (which I'll be sharing over the next two months) as well as several different ship mixes, there are certain songs that are more one or the other on this playlist. Sawyer's life before joining the Barlowe Boys was fairly peaceful - as a Black man living in Montana, he didn't exactly have it easy, but he had parents who loved each other and loved him. That sense of family is something he never quite gets back with the gang.

What happened to my freedom, separated my family/Bringing me to the foreign place/Now I'm focused on surviving in the midst of evil/Don't think it's ever gonna be the same

Fun fact! This song is actually from a fiction podcast about a fictional musical collaboration. 

3. "Devil's Backbone" - The Civil Wars

Meanwhile, Tex was raised by a criminal father, his mother having died when he was eighteen months old. So when Barlowe found him and showed him the kind of affection and guidance his father never did, it was easy for Tex to fall into line on the criminality side. Sawyer is a lot more moral than Tex in a lot of ways - he's never killed anyone, whereas Tex has earned himself a pretty fearsome reputation. Sawyer doesn't always approve of what Tex does but...that doesn't mean he doesn't have a weakness for him all the same. 

Don't care if he's guilty, don't care if he's not/He's good and he's bad and he's all that I've got

Also, Sawyer was raised in the church whereas Tex's dad was probably? Irish Catholic but I don't think he ever talked about God with Tex. Neither one of them is very religious anymore, but I love the line Oh Lord, oh Lord, what do I do?/I've fallen for someone who's nothing like you

4. "Tell That Devil" - Jill Andrews

I found this song because it's the theme for  Wynonna Earp, a delightful supernatural Western with lots of queerness. 

I gave you all I got to give/I know that ain't no way to live/so I told that devil to take you back - so much of the conflict between Tex and Sawyer is about loyalty, to each other and to Barlowe. I think this could work in multiple ways--either one of them saying it to Barlowe, or Sawyer saying it to Tex. 

5. "I'm a Wanted Man" - Royal Deluxe

This is a Tex song - both how the world sees him and the way he sees himself. 

I would kill again to keep from doing time is more or less a plot point, and you should never ever trust my kind is a central conflict within him. 

If you asked me to change/I don't know if I can/I'll always be who I am

Royal Deluxe is all over these playlists - they make "outlaw rock" which in my view, is essentially cowboy-outlaw roleplaying fanfic. I'm so glad it exists. 

6. "I'm Bad" - The Last Vegas

More of a vibe song, but I do think this is a little bit how Tex sees himself sometimes. He doesn't relish violence, doesn't actually really want to be an outlaw, but it's pretty much all he's ever known -- this is my note from 2019 or whenever I first wrote the notes and I don't have much to add to it (other than to say I'm not sure Tex doesn't relish violence. It's complicated. I did tell you the story got darker). Hindsight being 20/20, if I were to remake these playlists now, this would go on the Barlowe playlist. But this and the Tex and Sawyer playlists have been so baked for so long, I can't conceive of any other song placement. 

7. "Raise Hell" - Brandi Carlile 

If Tex has an anthem this is it. For some reason, I didn't end up putting it on his personal playlist, because I think it fits the ~vibes~ better.

I've been down with a broken heart/Since the day I learned to speak/The devil gave me a crooked start/When he gave me crooked feet - This is sort of the companion to "Born This Way". Tex's father took a lot more shape since I wrote this initial note, but it applies even more now. Tex was never going to walk straight (dual meaning intended). 

I dug a hole inside my heart/To put you in your grave/At this point it was you or me/And mama didn't raise no slave/You took my face in both your hands/And looked me in the eye/And I went down with such a force/That in your grave I lie - I was coy with my notes on these lyrics previously, but it does work on multiple levels - Tex and Sawyer both have to bury each other in their hearts after that deadly confrontation and, for seven years, Sawyer thinks he put Tex in his actual grave. Which, from his perspective, might as well be his own grave for as much as he wants to exist in a world without Tex. Anyway, yeah, graves are a thing in the book. 

8. "Dangerous" - Royal Deluxe

Mostly a vibes song - I like to think of this as a theme song of sorts, for when Sawyer and Tex were in their early twenties, perfect partners, taking the West by storm and becoming figures of legend. 

9. "Blood on My Name" - The Brothers Bright

As I said, Sawyer is the less violent of the two, doesn't like being an outlaw at all really but that doesn't mean he isn't deadly. Tex wears his anger like a well-worn coat, but Sawyer's rage is buried deep.

Yes, Sawyer's rage is buried deep, but it's also different from Tex's - it's a simplification, but Tex spends most of his life angry at himself, Sawyer spends that time angry at the world. After Sawyer shoots Tex, those positions switch. Tex is the one who has blood all over his reputation, his name, but Sawyer's one kill (so he thinks) haunts him in a way killing never bothered Tex. 

There's a reckoning a-coming/And it burns beyond the grave/With lead inside my belly/'Cause my soul has lost its way/Oh, Lazarus, how did your debts get paid? - brain goes brrrrr at this re: Sawyer, but I've got to save some thoughts for the actual book. 

10. "Gun in My Hand" - Dorothy

Why did love put a gun in my hand...Why did love put a knife in my heart - I mean, that really says it all.

All the talk of redemption, revenge, opening up scars...delicious. 

Was it for the thrill of pushin' my hope to the edge - if I think about this too long I'll spontaneously combust. 

11. "Desperado" - Rihanna*

Okay, okay, okay - this is the keystone song of both this playlist and their relationship. I love it. It's modern and cool but has that old West swag and, okay, look, this might be a stretch, but "Desperado" sort of sounds like "Desperate Hollow" said with a drawl and GAH. I love this song.

I'm not tryna go against you/Actually, I'm going withcha/Gotta get up out of here and/You ain't leaving me behind/I know you won't, 'cause we share common interests/You need me, there ain't no leaving me behind - the premise of this story initially really hinged on one fact: that Tex and Sawyer needed each other to get out of Desperate Hollow.

There ain't nothing here for me anymore/But I don't wanna be alone - I have so much to say about this lyric but I don't think I can without writing an essay that gives away the whole book, so I'll shut up.

If you want we could runaways/running from any sight of love - again, if I speak--

12. "Heaven and Back" - Emily West

I don't know, I just wanted to end this playlist on a kinda romantic song! this is one of those songs that just feels like them and I can't describe why.

A big reason this song is on the playlist is that, back in 2019, I was building a pitch for a big studio that ended up going nowhere, but the exec I was working with sent me this song at the same moment I was putting the final touches on this playlist and it just clicked in my brain. 

I want you to be my man/I want you to be more than a friend/I dare you to break our plans

[sjofn-lofnsdottr]

12. How much does your OC's background and origin affect their approach to relationships? Are there specific insecurities or preferences that lead on from their past?

THREE people wanted to know this, one of the more complicated (to me) questions to answer, the other two being @sayonaramidnight and @thewitchofelpis . (If you want to ask a different question, feel free by the way!)

The short answer is yes! It does affect his approach, and it manifests in some insecurities. He is having mixed success in working through them at the moment, but that's what makes it fun. For me, anyway, Dusk is not having quite as much fun with it.

As for the long answer ...

Dusk's background is a bit of a mix, as he was born in Ishgard but started living in Gridania at a fairly young age. A lot of his sensibilities were influenced by his parents and grandparents, but Gridania as a whole had some sway too. So he's not quite as faux-Catholic and traditional as someone born and raised in Ishgard might be, but he does occasionally have to push past some mixed feelings about how he's choosing to live his love life at times.

Dusk is polyamorous, you see, but up until recently that didn't have much of an impact on him, because once he started adventuring he was Too Goddamn Busy to feel comfortable with being in anything resembling a committed relationship with anyone, and prior to that if he actually found himself in one, the other person expected monogamy, and he was comfortable with that. Love is infinite, but time and attention are not, and he never wants to come up short with those when in a relationship with someone.

Now, though, he's gotten enough time to himself to think about a committed relationship. He's found himself with two men he loves very much that are comfortable being in a relationship all together ... and he's the one most conflicted about it. No one in his family has been in a relationship like that - Ishgard is way too bound up in traditional marriage structures - and sometimes it makes him worry he's being selfish or greedy. And he worries more that his family, who doesn't know yet, will think that too (they won't, by the way, they'll think it's strange but ... they're more open-minded than Dusk sometimes gives them credit for).

He does try to remind himself that non-monogamy is perfectly normal in some cultures - the Keepers in Gridania are the example he first encountered of that, obviously - but even those cultures approach it differently than what his relationship is shaping up to be. And the fact of the matter is ... it's not his culture. So he feels like he's flailing and worries he's Doing it All Wrong. His greatest fear is that flailing and uncertainty will wind up accidentally hurting someone, but ... he also logically knows any relationship risks that, so he should probably calm the fuck down and just do his best.

The funniest part about this, to me, is that Farron is THE biggest supporter of Dusk and Estinien being together. Farron's the one who convinced Dusk to even consider actually working those feelings out in the first place! I think it's very sweet.

[asclexe]

project; fully staff ppth

meet the oncology ward’s cuntiest nurse!!!

⭐️BASICS :3⭐️

name: nurse leo fitsher

full name: leo timothy neil fitsher jr

nickname: lee, nurse fag

gender: male, cis (he/him)

age: 62 (dob april 24, 1942)

nationality/ethnicity: italian american. born and raised in new york

heavy new york accent. ‘ey, i’m walkin’ ‘ere!

ppth position: oncology nurse, second oldest in the ward and there the longest

sexuality: gay man

he has a husband, they got married in massachusetts the month after it was legalized in may, but they’d known eachother and been in passionate love since the ‘70s

personality: the most flamboyant, bitchy, cunty guy you will ever meet. an absolute character. he will talk your ear off the wall with the most interesting stories about queer history. absolute yapper. loves gossiping with the other nurses. acts like a bitchy nursing home worker to all the patients. the only way in my mind to describe him is bitchy. nice, sometimes. it very apparent if he doesn’t like you, but he likes mostly everyone. he basically adopts all of the new hires, has a habit of calling people honey/darling/babe platonically. he’s your old gay bitchy uncle! you either love him or loathe him

appearance: old, tall, chubby white guy. like joe biden but with fat and less deterioration. again, looks very bitchy and unfriendly. very short, thinning white hair. grey stubble. slight dent on his forehead from being dropped as a baby

style: wears scrubs, varying from basic blue to grinch pattern. comfy old man sliders. pens in his pocket. that’s it.

he has diabetes type one, has had lots of health issues but he’s primarily healthy and very happy in life now :3

⭐️BACKSTORY :3⭐️

born to a big poor traditional catholic italian family in 1940s new york. mama’s boy. he was raised ‘classically’, he got spanked a ton and played in the streets. had dreams of being an actor, got called a faggot a lot, until reality hit and his parents pushed him into the military. got discharged. mom died. was an broadway for the first time. got engaged to a lovely woman, who he probably would’ve married if he wasn’t gay. broke it off. got hatecrimed. left new york. met the love of his life. moved to new jersey for his partners job. started as a nurse at ppth. lived through the aids crisis. traveled to massachusetts to get married.

⭐️RELATIONSHIPS WITH EVERYONE :3⭐️

wilson: leo is the most organized, most efficient, rudest nurse in his department and he’s like a wine aunt to wilson. like his gay dad. frequently gives him advice.

house: house lowkey respects him. leo tries to set him up with wilson. that’s it.

thirteen: like a father. they bumped into eachother and he immediately went ‘i like you!’ she’s his prodigal daughter along with house

⭐️FUN FACTS :3⭐️

giant theatre attender, has seen soo many plays and he keeps all the playbills in storage

he and his husband have like, four cats and a dog

attended the stonewall riots, went to a bunch of old gay clubs, witnessed a lot of queer history

he and his husband host a dinner party at this italian restaurant every sunday with a bunch of other old queers

did drag and was a male stripper when he was like in his 20s

american red cross is his number one op

goes all out on christmas purely for fun

will prob add more :3 we need nurses guys 🫡🫡 not all heros wear capes

[writingwenches]

Storge 3 and Pragma 1 for Lyn?

Finally answering this from days ago~ THANKS darlin' These were some fun ones for someone raised an orphan ehehe 💕

I'm going to write so much because I'm finally in the mood so apologizes for the essays but THANKS for giving me a place to gush and have character study time ^.^

3///STORGE — How far does parental approval (imagined or expressed) impact upon their current sense of self-worth? What might they sacrifice or attempt to achieve in order to ensure the approval of their parents?

Life as an orphan: Lyn was surrounded by strong female role models, she was raised exclusively by woman in a Motherhouse south of The Neck amongst Septas of every shape, race, class, etc. I gave it romanticized catholic all-girls sleepaway camp in the deep woods. LOL A Motherhouse is the Westeros/Faith version of a convent, which were historically little economy run by woman.

SO, her approval from the Septas was always based on THEM holding the power to keep her housed/fed, so she needed to get their approval of else she'd be sent packing (like many other girls, especially stolen wildling girls). This situation sets her up to WANT a "comfortable" life. She's been offered a place to live with various wildling clans some girls escape to, but Lyn turns them down, wanting the "comfort" of a stone house with a hearth, especially in a place that has harsh winters. She is realistic about life and wants to maintain her "current standard of living" so, working in a Keep would be (in her opinion) the best life option for her.

The Septas aren't asking much, they are asking their girls to be "realistic" regarding their place in life. They aren't raising women to be "wives" because these girls have zero prospects, so they teach them life skills to get a job and make their own money to support themselves and not rely on the charity of others. She sacrifices being lazy, and enjoying hobbies that aren't also side-hustles. Her "art" is basket making, but always with the intention of selling it. And...she doesn't really day dream about being "saved" from her life by a man, so all her daydreams of romance are based on mutual respect and "duel income" lifestyles of them both working to support each other LAWL

(in the asoiaf wiki it says the Motherhouses teach girls to read but not this one because #1 working/servant class girls should learn to read because it might give them ~big ideas~ AND #2 we can have a later adorable plot of Lyn learning to read hehe and also #3 an illiterate character is fascinating, she could get a letter with detailed war plans and its meaningless oops)

Life as a highborn: THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE, is more or less the pivotal plot point of the whole story hehehe~

Currently what I have written is the happy fun part, and the next chapter is Cinda putting her foot down and explaining how things work in high born society. This is where the horror of the story comes in. In our modern times, what Cinda does to Lyn is torture, mostly psychological...but in Westeos society its just "how things are done" especially to women who misbehave. I think about these historic women often, because they are purposefully forgotten by history. Cinda basically explains to Lyn that she's a highborn lady, and for the Lannister family it would be better for Lyn to be dead than allowed to life a "low-born" life of potential bastards etc.

Is Cinda doing this because she's a psychopath or does she have an ulterior motive?? Fun question!

Lyn does not want to sacrifice ANYTHING for this new family. She wants nothing to do with their freaky traditions and rules and wants/tries to escape often. She is basically a hostage in a cult and everyone around her (including our poor bb aemond) can't understand why she can't "just be happy about it all!" Fun fact, Lyn has a large facial difference/black skin patches on her face, so the knowledge that the Lannisters will pay for anyone to bring her back to them if she escapes just traps her in their world lol oops

Lyn is basically Handmaid's Tale style trapped in Gilliad and always trying to escape, so her "sacrifices" are to play her part juuust enough to be allowed to live. So, lots of pushing that boundary in the plot, and learning how the ~high born game~ is played as she's playing it lol

1///PRAGMA — Is your OC in a committed long-term relationship (or relationships)? If so then what has contributed to this relationship lasting so well? If they are not in such a relationship, then is this something that saddens them or which they regret?

HEHEHEE and the ~romance~ part of the story. This originally started as an Aemond x OC story! But always from the perspective of OC women at court. So, obvs my Aemond is completely AU because of the other characters added around them. I'm focusing on him being more "emo teen boy" given way too much power.

Because I love romance as a genre, but also I like playing with tropes, in my story all the "men" are treated like ~accessories~ Sure, they have problems but its major First World Problems™ that get put into perspective through the story. Aemond in this story can be summed up by Agony from Into the Woods

Lyn ends up with Aemond! That's the romance~ But, it takes a lot to get there.

Lyn is the embodiment of Elizabeth Bennet during Darcy's first proposal.

Aemond: But I love you! Lyn: We've spoken three times! You don't know anything about me! Aemond: but you're so not traditionally beautiful and helpless D: and I'd be such a good person to marry you! D: Lyn: 🤢 SIR PLEASE stop following me Aemond: I can give you the world!! I can make you queen of the kingdom! Just have by babies and respect my authority. Lyn: That's not good enough

Through his life, Aemond is going to be begging woman to marry him because he can "save" them from misogyny of the world.

He can save Cinda from being mocked for being unwed, she doesn't care about that and turns him down through his childhood.

Ivyanne Tyrell, the only daughter of the current Tyrells with little to no other relatives to succeed them. Ivyanne being a woman is already causing a secession crisis for them. They spent time in Essos trying to find some sort of foreign rich prince to marry her. Then they realized they would marry her to Aemond. The next Lord Tyrell would be a Targaryen Prince. DONE. Right? Wrong. Ivyanne was caldron made, and magic loves to fuck everything up. Ivy is the character in history that horrifies me to think about. Ivy is a lesbian through and through, knows it about herself, and will not marry a man. Her issue, is she can't be killed to make way for someone else with a claim, so the world is attempting to force her to marry Aemond. Ivy is a sword lesbian and Aemond's greatest rival, even though she can't train in the yard, or fight in tourneys. She does things like cut/shave all her hair off to rebel and gets punished for it. Aemond begs her to marry him, he is a "good person" and wouldn't make her do anything, and she can live her life and deal with the consequences later. And she tells him, many times, that's not good enough. Aemond argues that they'll kill her before giving her what she wants, and Ivyanne says "then I'll die free" 🤷🏻

There's no therapy in this world, so OBVIOUSLY the angst of the story is Aemond internalizes all of these rejections to be about HIM and not about the world.

In a very "cruel prince" trope way, Aemond turns all of this into anger and hatred and lashes out. I love playing with classic tropes so things like "if you touch her I'll kill you" is psychotic and terrifying so...that'll happen oops.

Thankfully, Aemond is very Zuko coded and realizes through the story, and mainly through interacting with someone raised as a peasant, that his problems are very small compared to others', and his "redemption arch" will be learning to be an ally. He changes from lashing out in cruelty to learning to use his privilege to help others.

SO, Lyn and Aemond will end up together as Aemond learns what love truly is and what friendship truly means...all while Lyn is trapped in the Stepford Wives horror castle. I see the relationship lasting, and they'll be happy and together one day...but it takes a while.

HEHEHE, also many of these characters "escape" the dance by traveling to my original continent of Nossos #whoops Nossos is experiencing their own civil war, inspired by history of Samurai, their war is more "small folk" against former dragon-lords and everything will change when Lyn and co. bring an IRL dragon (Helaena and Dreamfyre) to the samurai party 👀

[plvtosun]

blancaposting! ongoing bulleted list of her traits, backstory, lil facts, character rxships, songs, etc

blanca edén tennebris*

born/raised in east los angeles

got in trouble for ditching her own first communion and playing with the crows in the cemetery outside the church instead. her dress got all dirty. ( → “i hate it! why am i wearing this anyway i don’t wanna marry jesus!!”) she said if her parents forced her to go through with it she was gonna bite the priest’s fingers. …they didn’t make her go through with it, they knew she would legitimately bite his fingers.

her immediate family is/was very religious, very traditional mexican-american. puro machismo. blanca’s an only child but during family functions she was expected to watch all the younger cousins inside the house while everyone else had fun. as much as she hates it she knows the rosary by heart. but she still has a soft spot for la virgen de guadalupe, to this day. the rose scent of the veladoras calms her down.

she doesn’t get along with her family much, except for a few older cousins who introduced her to metal and anime, and a tía she visited one winter break in mexico, who taught her how to do limpias de huevo for herself. the day that tía passed away was probably the worst day of her life.

(more under cut)

*“tenebrous”

she needs! her! quiet time! ex: if she’s working on a piece in an area that’s starting to get crowded and noisy, she gets overstimulated and has to leave immediately. some days she can handle noisiness, other days she can’t. (she can always handle the noisiness at concerts though)

her first kiss was a girl in her catechism class.

likes spooky and haunted things but she’s not about to go full zak bagans yknow?

her first and middle name were chosen to keep in line with the whole… devout catholic thing. blanca means white, “pure” in a way. the name was also chosen because it was her maternal grandma’s name, and she was a very pious woman.

she straight up saw la llorona once.

character rxships [updated 8/29]:

toki

she’s down horrendous but he doesn’t notice for a while because she tries to hide or she gets extra quiet when he’s around.

re: kids, blanca: …have you ever had to take care of a kid? like legitimately had to take care of one for a full day? a week? or while they’re sick? …try that out and get back to me. [personal hc that he does, in fact, try it out. the stickiness, the noise, the sensory overload at times despite a few cute sweet moments. yeah, cats and bunnies all the way.]

draws him cutesy (and brutal) pictures whenever he wants!

gets too shy to hold his hand at first and looks away the first time in true tsundere fashion.

cute spanish nicknames!

both t-shirt thieves, even though most of blanca’s shirts don’t fit him. he’s stretched a couple of them out. :/

skwisgaar

likes to mess around with him because of his high opinion of himself. all in good fun though.

calls him “ricitos”/“ricitos de oro” (goldilocks), which he acts like he hates, but lowkey? i think he likes it.

he’s allergic to cilantro, she has that thing that makes it taste bitter and nasty to her. “you’re not missing much. i don’t care what everyone else says, i’m convinced my third eye is open or some shit and that’s why i’m one of those people that tastes straight SOAP when i eat it.”

nathan

he came across her art on instagram and thought it was sick with the brutal imagery and that’s why he wanted her to illustrate the next album cover/tshirt designs, but aside from that, they didn’t get along too well at first because they’re kinda similar in the way they like to tease and mess around + they would butt heads a lot creatively.

eventually they’re chill though. blanca quickly figures out how to shut up and not say certain things even though nathan’s reaction would be funny, and he does the same.

not platonic soulmates, not mortal enemies. they’re pretty alright together. they pal around.

both fucking love chips

he’s the first to notice her crush on toki and he teases her in passing about it every chance he gets. ass.

murderface

refuses to go in his room. “no fucking way man you have all that old historical stuff in there! that shit’s haunted!”

↑ “la neta, la neta, la neta. que mala vibra traes, maestro.”

similar to nathan but she messes with him a little more because he’s pretty rough. she generally doesn’t get along with him super well but they have their moments where they can joke around and have fun. kind of like a cat and a dog.

walked in on him playing bass with his dick and quoted the “there goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality” simpsons line

pickles

when he opens up a little about his mom and family she gets piiiissed. she can relate. she high fives him after he finally tells his mom to go fuck herself.

tv binging buddies!

calls him “canelo” like canelo álvarez because of his red hair

second to notice her crush on toki. he doesn’t tease as much as nathan but he definitely gets a kick out of seeing how she gets around toki before they officially get together.

abigail

admires the way she gets shit done and thinks her curly hair is really pretty

tries not to get in her way when she’s working but loves her calming vibe. she likes to just sit with her in silence while she draws sometimes

begs begs BEGS her to let her do her makeup all dark and gothic. just once!

charles

similar to abigail, she tries to not get in his way too much and she admires how he handles things

feels like he’s kind of unapproachable, but he seemed nice and polite enough when she first met everybody & started working on the album art.

not much going on between them honestly

dr. rockzo

literally only puts up with him for toki but she sets boundaries on him being around quick. she doesn’t like how he’s taken advantage of toki’s kindness before

^ may or may not have put ojo on him once or twice because of this. three times… four… who’s counting though?

he’s gross, dude.

playlist! + youtube link and backgrounds for the songs here.

[sillyfriendssharingablog]

the iconic trio but if they were normal kids with normal lives, normal parents and in a normal town

this is a little peak of my modern/slice of life au that I love, it's literally one of the first things me and my bestie did when getting into mgs. it's very wholesome and cutesy, the exact opposite of its source material. I will talk about it fully later though, as I have other things planned for this month. This au is completely safe for other people to insert their OCs in. It is also set in Alaska, and most birthdates remain unchanged. But I'll give you some fun facts about this three little fucks and their normal lives as kids in my au.

Eli Sears (12 y/o)

Son of John and Eva Sears

half white American half Italian (in my head Eva is Italian stfu)

is the middle child (for a few seconds) and gets treated like it

lives in a very fucked up family (fucked up in the Family guy way)

vapes (thinking it's cool)

the vapes are stolen from uncle Venom

he despised his brother since the day they came out of their mother

acts all mean and angsty but still cries to his mama when he can't do his math homework

thinks he is the leader of the trio

cant tie his shoes

has braces

is a bit of a bully, or at least tries

is in their chuch's choir (in this AU the Sears are Catholics)

has a skateboard

Azedi Miller (14 y/o)

Adoptive daughter of Kaz Miller, that single-fathered her for most of her life

has a very deep and healthy bond with her dad, even if he is very overprotective

her race and ethnicity are the same, and she is still in touch of her culture even if she has been raised by an American man. But now she has a more southern accent, coping her dad.

at 14 she became a loving older sister of Catherine Miller was born

tomboy, and is a soccer champion

is the bodyguard of the trio (the one who protects and takes all the countabilty of their actions because she is the oldest)

tries to hold Eli from doing dumbshit most of the time, but at the end joins him

is a scout girl

has lived in the countryside in her first years.

gets herself into dangerous shit because her little ADHD brain tells her to do them

Azedi is neighboors with Quiet, that is Eli's cousin bcs in this AU she was adopted by Venom (don't ask why), and they are besties even if Az is 14 years younger than Quiet.

Tretij Rebenok (12 y/o)

lives in a foster-care home

autistic and has been nonverbal since 7th grade

knows that he is slavic, doesn't know much else of his past

trans boy, but only his friends know about it (even though, since he didn't talk, they only ever adressed him with "It")

he is the racoon of the trio (lives in a trash can and bites)

scares a lot of people just by the way he looks and is banned from most public spaces

instigates Eli into doing dumb shit

deadname is unknown. Before he asked them to call him Tretij they just called him "the other one" or "third friend"

literally eats bugs

in his foster home he is a neglected a bit, so he may often look messy and he may stink

he has a burnt scar on half of his face (I had to make up for the canon scars)

evilest fucking kid ever

just hangs in the background most of the time thankfully though

Some other fun facts about the trio in the au

Azedi and Eli have known each other since they were born, since their dads are buddies. they met Tretij when they entered primary school and became the neighborhood's terrors ever since

they raid Ocelot's house every once in a while

Eli and Azedi used to communicate with Tretij with mostly sign leanguege, that they learned with Quiet (since she is also autistic and nonverbal in this AU), when he was nonverbal, even though they also didn't really need to sign anything with Tretij bcs he understood them even without gestures (since they are that close with each other :3)

Eli and Azedi had started dating at the end of Eli's 7th grade, but the only thing that they do different from what they do with Tretij is giving each other little kisses and calling each other petnames

also Miller despises Eli, but this is in all universes

they all have matching bracelets made by Az

[sahsalart]

Ethereals: “¡Muéstrame tu sonrisa!”

Bakugous: (⩺_⩹)

They are stubborn boys lol

I’ve been a huge fan of BNHA since I was 14 (for 5-6ish years now), and have recently gotten back into after almost a year of having little-to-no interest in it. As I’ve been indulging in more content, I decided that my first (and favorite) OC, Ethereal, needed a revamp! So, I’m currently working on a new character sheet for her as well as improving her lore overall. I’ve leave fun facts down below about her!:

- She was born on 2/24 in Athens, Greece.

- She is the oldest of Class 1-A.

- She stands at 5’0, same height as her classmate Toru Hagakure.

- Her quirk is called Aerial Limit and is a cloud-based quirk.

- As a side effect of her quirk, she can float and weighs only 20 Ibs (a healthy weight).

- She is highly proficient in Capoeira, majority of her fighting style is with the use her legs and her incredible acrobatic skills.

- Her father is Afro-Latino (Dominican) and her mother is half-Greek, half-Lebanese.

- Her father named her.

- Before pursuing her professional hero career, Ethereal was training to be a professional performer under the guide of her mother.

- She is trained in singing and the art of belly-dancing.

- At age 6, her father was tragically murdered while on an overseas business trip in Japan.

- The scar on her left eye was caused by Bakugou during their fight at the Sports Festival. As a result, she is partially blind.

- She is a polyglot and can speak/read/write in a multitude of languages such as Greek, Spanish (her native languages), French, Italian, Dutch, German, Swedish, English, Japanese, and Romanian.

- The Spanish her family speaks is the Cibaeño dialect (Dominicanos🤙🏿🤙🏾🤙🏽)

- She is multiethnic and multicultural, though she personally identifies as Afro-Latina.

- Her father’s family are Roman Catholics and her mother’s are Hellenic and Muslim. Ethereal’s parents raised her with Agnosticism views, she identities as Agnostic.

- She has an IQ of 147.

- Her favorite types of food are sweets, seafood, and spicy.

- Her favorite dessert is Habichuelas con Dulce made by her Abuela.

- She absolutely hates restrictive clothing and opts to wear lose/short fitting clothing (this is due to growing up in between the Caribbean and Mediterranean seas where it is hot!).

- With that being said, Winter is her least favorite season whereas Summer is her favorite.

- #1 Amara La Negra and Karol G fan.

- Belly-dancing exercises are apart of her daily workout routine.

- Her father was a Billionaire CEO and her mother is a professional Tsifteteli dancer.

- She is an only child.

I hope you enjoy :) I’m looking forward to posting more content and art with her!

[dzvagabond]

Self insert asks: 1, 2, 3, 4 & 7 for the self insert you’re currently thinking about/fixated on at the moment! :3

Thank you for the ask 💚💜

So I'm gonna talk about my main RE inserts right now so please forgive all the lore I am about to dump at you friendo.

1. What is your s/i's name & pronouns?

Ezio DiAngelo, they/them (RE4R)

Dr. Reneé Howell, but goes by Ren, she/her (Main RE insert)

2. How similar is your s/i to you? Are they a carbon copy, completely different, or a mix of the two?

Ezio isn't really similar to me, but they do carry ✨trauma✨ from my childhood. But that's pretty much it. They are their own person.

Ren, however, is very similar to me. Very caring and motherly, has my huge fascination for science and virology, and my intrusive thoughts about dissection of the human body.

3. Does your s/i have a full back story yet? Or is it still in the works? If it's done, can we see it?l

Ezio does have a back story and here's the gist of it: They were a human experiment at Umbrella Euro who received the prototype of the NE-α Type parasite that fully fused to their brain stem but never fully reached maturity to mutate them. Luis was brought on board to the project and seeing how they were treating subjects, specifically Ezio, he vanished with them in tow back to Valdelobos (RE4 Village). Then, Saddler employed him to discover the abilities of the Plagas under the guise of helping Ezio get back to normal, but ends up infecting them with it instead. Hence the reason on why Luis developed those lasers in the first place to destroy both parasites. But he couldn't since NE-α Type had already fused to their spine, and the Las Plagas was mutating with the already existing parasite.

Ren has a fully fledged back story (it's a lot) that you can read here!

4. How did your s/i feel when they first met your f/o(s)? How do they feel about them now?

Ezio was very skeptical about Luis at first considering they were an experiment he was assigned to monitor and he was an Umbrella scientist. Now, they are very much head over heels for him, and trust him completely. We're just gonna ignore Luis' fate for a sec haha

Meeting Wesker, Ren thought he had a complete stick up his ass but grew to respect him as a scientist. Now, Ren was/is disgusted on how he changed, on what he wanted to do. Very big divorced couple energy between them.

7. Give us 3 random facts about your s/i!

EZIO:

Born and raised in Italy, but moved across Europe quite often when they were younger. Resided in Spain when they were older.

They can speak 4 languages fluently: Italian, English, Spanish, and Dutch (the last one was for fun when they were in college).

Due to having both a prototype Nemesis Parasite and a Las Plagas parasite residing in their body, they can feel other Plagas around them and can almost "hear" the hive mind around.

REN:

Ren was an orphan, discarded by her parents to a Catholic run orphanage in her hometown. The nuns who ran the school were the ones to encourage and help fund her schooling, despite aging out of the system. Without them, she wouldn't have become a scientist at a young age.

She was killed and infected by her own project: The Nemesis before the events of the third game. Due to having been bonded with the progenitor virus as a fell safe thanks to William Birkin, after being infected the parasite bonded with her as well.

Ren always wanted a family, so before the events of the game (and spending a lot of time at the RPD), she eventually adopts the autopsy tech August (@valentinesparda 's insert).

[mina-van1104]

Fun fact, did you know that you pray with incense sticks to Jesus Christ on the east side.

On the north side you pray to Guan Yin with incense sticks. As both a Catholic & Buddhist, by doing this, you'll be extra lucky.

Again I, Mina Van 文风英 Woon Foong Yin (in Hakka Chinese), my name has the word "Yin" in it which makes me extra happy & extra psychic like Guan Yin (Chinese Mother Mary Chinese Jesus Christ) more psychic than most people eventhough as a November Scorpio I'm the most intelligent, & another most psychic, most leadership, presidential roles. Also my name means Overachievers, arts, Bristish Military superheroes in Chinese.

I'm a Youngest monkey on the Chinese Zodiac making us having the best memories of all signs & the most intelligent sign of Chinese Zodiac which is always true for me. 4 is my life number so is 9/11 like I said in my past posts about my family & me.

Proud nurse/coach. Nevada, born and raised family living in Nevada for 44 (forty-four)years. Spread kindness.

In the name of the Father and of The Son and of the Holy Spirit in the name of Jesus, Amen 🙏.

In the name of the Guan Yin, Ong Lee (meaning Buddha in Hakka Chinese langauge), Yay-Su (Jesus Christ), Ty-uh- ma (Mother Mary Virgin Mother Mary)

In the name of Jesus, Amen!🙏

Also another fun fact Wind blows from the East side. It's very lucky feng shui to always buy a house facing north. You're welcome everyone & happy blessings. Still needing some prayers on this extra emotional few weeks.

"Where Are We Goin'" by Luke Bryan!❤️

✞♡ # Selfie # Birthday # November4thBirthday # Nurse # Coach # NativeNevadan # StopAsianHate # JesusChrist 🦂 # Buddha # GuanYin # MotherMary # NevadaBornAndRaised # HakkaChineseRaised # ProChoice (though, in politics) # Equality # Justice # Healthcare # Running 🏃🏻‍♀️ # PositiveVibes # LoveDrivesOutFear # NevadaNative # athletic # HomeMeansNevada # Nevada # UNRnevadaAlumnaMay2016

•2019:OlderSisterCatherineVan&Adam Schwartz’sWedding&TheirWebsiteOn: https://www.theknot.com/us/catherine-van-and-adam-schwartz-aug-2019•ReminiscingMoreThan200PeopleCame.

[meatloafhoagie]

GH: Rev'Amped Character Descriptions!!

God of Rock (Morrison Tesla) - he's a trickster god who sets the heroes up on their wildest rock adventures. He begins as an antagonist.

Echo Tesla (Goddess of Rock) - the doting wife of Morrison - but so much more, as we will discover in her arc, where she becomes the host of three deceased legendary woman rockers from time to time who guide her. She is strong, intelligent, and serves as a mother figure to the rockers.

Violet (Princess/Daughter of Rock) - so she will be the rhythm guitarist from GH: Aerosmith except I will age her down to 17 and ditch her male gaze-y outfit. She will be the cynical teenage daughter of the two rock dieties who wants to start her own band outside of her already up-there status. This band will be called the Chuck Taylor Club.

Johnny Napalm - a 31-year-old punk rocker from Eastbourne, Johnny grew up as a rebellious child who never got along well with others. The 1970s anarchist punk scene, however, changed and saved his life. He is rowdy, headstrong, a tad bit argumentative, and a true anarchist, but he is also very caring and respectful towards his friends. He shows a deep concern for human rights. His rock journey will be to overthrow the processed pop sound system and keep punk alive in the modern day.

Judy Nails - a 23-year-old alt/prog rocker from Ontario, Judy was born to be a good girl - but crafted to be quite the opposite. The most pivotal moment of her life was when she got kicked out of her Catholic high school. Her journey will be to escape the limitations set for her by her conservative parents and rock like never before - with the help of Pandora. She is sweet but could break you so quick. She is confident, down to earth, and everyone either wants to be her or be with her.

Izzy Sparks - a 25-year-old glam rocker who was born in South Africa but was raised in the US discovers his destiny after finding David Bowie records in a local record store after he moved to Chicago, Illinois when he was just 7. He returns the favor by converting to unconventional glam!! His arc will be all about doing his own thing despite every odd, and letting himself have fun!! He is a pansexual icon who people can't help but smile at! He's full of energy and knows how to rock so hard the world caves in.

Pandora - a 24-year-old goth rocker whose youth is shrouded in mystery (except for the fact that she was born to an Irish father and a Filipina mother), Pandora's story begins when she converts to full-fledged goth in a violinist family. Her arc will be similar to Judy's in the way that she is also trying to escape the limiting ideals placed upon her all her life. She will also play the role of Judy's girlfriend. She is quiet and shy, uttering maybe two sentences an hour, anxious, and is at times nonverbal (a huge contrast to her whimsical stage presence), but can really open up to others if she's close enough to them.

Axel Steel - a 36-year-old old school metal rocker whose story isn't just a sex, drugs, and rock n roll story, Axel is the single father of seven-year-old Ellie - his heart. After divorcing his wife for cheating on him and juggling playing both the mother and the father to his child, Axel rediscovers the old school metal he grew fond of in his high shool days - and sets sail, picking up the guitar at his age and shredding!!

Xavier Stone - a 29-year-old modern rocker from Gary, Indiana finds his guitar hero journey after the death of his beloved mother and famous rockstar, Casydi Stone. He wants to repay her inspiration by picking up the guitar. He is a huge rock music nerd but he's also defiant and proud of who he is and his rocker roots.

Casey De'Mon - her last name is canonically Lynch, as we all know. However, I've changed it to De'Mon for this AU because i really like the double entendre of its nature and how it pertains to Casey herself (and "Lynch" just doesn't sit right with me). Casey is a 26-year-old hard rocker/southern gothic rocker whose ambitions consist of disproving the sexism placed on her and showing the world that she is not afraid to get her knuckles bloody and hands messy when it comes to the guitar. She is loud, rowdy, southern, headstrong - but I also want her to have a secret vulnerable side that is unlocked due to how close another individual is to her.

Midori - a 21-year-old rocker hailing from Setagaya, Japan has a duality to her: she shreds like a metal maniac and dresses in the cutest fits. She is sweet and kind and environmentalist - but you'd be an utter buffoon to underestimate her or her character. Her mission will be to shred like the most prestigious legends in rock - and show that she can do it too, with her humble upbringing and cute fashion choices that oppose her playing style.

Lars Umlaut - 41-year-old Scandinavian metal/black metal rocker Lars is on a mission to summon the darkest forces in Scandinavian metal and bring them together for one thing - to enhance his own rock powers like never before. Despite his scary appearance...Lars is actually a kind man, shy and quiet.

This is what I have so far!! I am open to suggestions and when I get better at drawing comic panels I will give everyone detail-by-detail chapters using this AU plotline!! Please stay tuned and feel free to give me suggestions for these characters!!

[steveharrington]

maybe this is a weird question but i found ur hints abt steve's background (trip to aspen, catholicism etc) super interesting and was wondering if u had other ideas abt what his childhood was like/random made up steve facts? brilliant update as always

thank you!!! i’m so glad you picked up on those little details bc i think they are so so fun to intersperse in fics <3 i have a very. very very extensive history of steve’s family and childhood so here are some little facts from the canon ive made up in my brain that also kinda show up in things to come

i think steve was born in new york and the harringtons moved to indiana when he was like 6/7 following his dad’s first affair. it was an attempt at like healing their family by getting away from the city and going back to his dad’s hometown. it worked out pretty well for his dad because they weren’t really New York Rich but theyre definitely Hawkins Rich so it makes him feel good about himself. it sucked for steve’s mom because she was persuing a career in fashion and the fashion industry in hawkins is like. being a manager at macy’s 

things to come is the first fic where i’ve ever officially made steve italian (on his mom’s side) but ive always thought of him as being raised catholic. once they move to hawkins, the harringtons start going to church every sunday but it’s more of a social/appearances thing for his parents than a genuine devotion. still, it’s very very very engrained in steve and it isn’t until 1983 that he starts to question if he believes in god in the first place

the aspen trip in my mind is the last time steve traveled with his parents beyond like family gatherings. i think when he was younger, they’d take him with them on business trips or vacations but steve kinda always hated it because he would just get left in a hotel room by himself so he started staying home

those long stretches of staying home alone for a month at a time around age 13 were when steve really learned independence. that bit about him having to call his parents for help working the oven or making doctor’s appointments and only being met with annoyance when he reached out to them is a big reason why steve struggles in school despite actually being naturally kinda smart. he just learned not to ask for help from adults and it left him confused about a lot of stuff

steve being won over by any adult who shows him even the slightest shred of kindness is what made me want to include owens at all <3 where the other kids can kinda sus out that owens can’t always be trusted despite him outwardly appearing friendly and empathetic, steve falls for it hook line and sinker. he loves ice cream!!

[starlightervarda]

Some fun facts for The Old Guard/Kaysanova

1. The Arabic word for tangerine is Yousefi | يوسفي .

According to my nana, it was named after the man called Youssef Afandi who who imported it from Italy during the reign of Muhammed Ali Pasha in Egypt. Make with that what you will.

2. Joe is not an uncommon nickname for men called Yusuf/Youssef, especially those who live abroad and/or come from bilingual families. I’ve known at least five Youssef/Yusufs - including my cousin - who answer to Joe. So, it’s not unusual or disrespectful to call him that in fics/discussion.

3. The Arabic version of Nicolo is Nicola | نقولا‎ .

4. Joe being from either Tunisia or Egypt makes him a North African. There has been a movement to make a distinction and reclaim ethnic identity, giving rise to the acronym MENA (Middle Eastern North African) as opposed to inaccurately calling everyone Arabs.

You can count North Africans as part of the ‘Arab World’ in the sense that they speak a dialect of Arabic. If he is Tunisian in your story then he is specifically a Maghrebi/Maghrebien. He’ll be more inclined to that identity because during the Crusades all of Northwest Africa was simply called the Maghreb.

PS. Maghreb means ‘the sunset, coming from the word gharb meaning ‘west’ i.e. the sun setting in the west.

5. In the time period in which they met, Nicky won’t think of him as ‘an Arab’ of any kind, but as a Moor. Joe will think of him as a Frank/Afranji.

6. If you are writing a Modern AU then a Maghrebi Joe will be fluent in French, if he’s Egyptian chances are he also had to learn French.

7. Medieval Muslims frequently drank wine (let’s be honest a lot of modern ones do as well, but to avoid public scrutiny it’s either done abroad or in private or you have to be wealthy to get away with it), there is a library’s worth of poetry of them referencing how much they love it. So, it’s not unusual to depict him drinking like he was in the movie.

8. Joe being North African and Nicky being Italian makes them both Mediterranean, they could have an interesting amount of culture and history in common.

9. If you want to explain how they understood each other when they first met, the lingua franca in the Mediterranean was Greek. There’s also a high chance that they both knew Latin.

10. In religious discussions between them, remember that Muslims also revere Jesus and Mary. Jesus, or al-Messih (the Messiah), is an important figure in Islam and is considered a prophet born of a virgin - just not the son of God.

According to my teachers, he wasn’t crucified or resurrected, but ‘raised bodily into heaven’. In the End of Days he’s set to have a Second Coming to fight al-messih el-dajjal / the false Messiah akin to the Antichrist in Christianity.

11. If you’re going to talk about how Christianity feels about gay men for conflict, include Joe’s side. That is, unless you’re starting with Joe as an atheist and Nicky as a devout priest.

The story of qoum-Lut / the people of Lot - as in Sodom and Gomorrah - is not taken lightly in Islam. The term Luti (of Lot) is shorthand for ‘homosexual’ and it’s an insult. People who are struggling with their sexuality are told that ‘the devil is whispering in your ear’ and there are hadiths that say ‘if you find someone doing what Lot and his people did then kill them both’. Others say that you can have feelings, but you should remain celibate, and having sex would be zina (sexual sin) worth getting stoned.

Being gay can get you ostracized, committed, jailed or killed or all of the above in most Muslim majority countries. So, if you’re going to showcase this, please take it seriously. This is something I and a lot of friends had to grapple with, and most of us have left Islam with irreparable damage/trauma, so it’d be interesting to see our experience represented with Joe, since it’s often either ignored, or just about Nicky’s Catholic guilt.

12. To follow-up on my previous point, in the Middle Ages, people usually turned blind eyes to homoerotic poetry or homosexual activity, it was seen as avoiding ruining a woman’s honor/siring bastards and that they’d stop once they got married. Kind of like how it was in Ancient Greece, something you did in your youth and ‘grew out of’. They played fast and loose for a few centuries until governments started cracking down on people not abiding by religious law around the 19th Century.

However, that was assuming you had the safety-net of a rich family, a position in the court of someone important or powerful, or your own power. If you were a commoner and you got caught, you faced the consequences.

There is a fair-bit of homoerotic poetry, namely by Abu Nawas, you could reference. His stuff got censored and burned by the thousands for that...

Also, the Hanafi school of Islam says that, like wine and other haram things, they are permitted in death/in paradise. So you could argue that since Joe already died, he’s exempt from abiding by any religious law.

13. Last, it’d be interesting to see a fic use courtly love and how it evolved from around the First Crusade and traveled up into Europe, becoming a staple in medieval literature and how it originated from Andalusian Spain and Arabic poetry. It could tie into how flowery and incurably romantic Joe is.

[ifyouseekay468]

what do YOU personally think the teenagers (mcr) lyrics are about my friend ? like i keep thinking about them but im not sure im going somewhere

okay, ive answered this ask twice on mobile and each time my phone deleted it, so here I go, the FINAL version of this post

It's been a hot minute since I listened to teenagers so I decided to do a quick run-through of the lyrics, and while Gerard&Co were raised catholic the lyrics seem to REEK of protestant trauma, so that's what I'll be going off of, but I'm pretty sure the two denominations overlap here. The first verse is about kids in youth group, Christian GirlsTM especially, who are put there to pressure you into being "normal" into "cleaning you up with the lies in the book" (bible), although the pastor is the one giving the teaching THESE are the people who will get you to BELIEVE, who will get you to lie to yourself, who will get you to church camps that on some level utilize brainwashing techniques, and will DESTROY you with the idea that you're "Just one of them, and just need to change everything about yourself and fake your way through every last sermon to be just a part of the gang",

The part about sleeping with a gun and keeping an eye on you is about two things: one, about the idea that God can see all your thoughts, that THINKING about "sin" (ie; fantasizing about sex) is as bad as COMMITTING sin (which is fucked up entirely on its own because fantasy is SO FUCKING DIFFERENT FROM REALITY and that is a CRUCIAL aspect of sexual expression in order to safely engage in sex), AND the fact that these kids will pretend to be your friend, will prod you into doing things with them, into telling them things about yourself all the while making you feel like "part of the group" when really they're just blabbing either to religious leaders, or are ostracizing you and bullying you behind your back.

"The drugs never work"

This in my opinion points to the fact that this song is specifically about being QUEER in a christian culture. It is common for trans people to turn to drugs or psychedelics in an area that has little to no access to gender affirming care, or acceptance because they both change reality and disconnect one from the body that is causing their dysphoria. It can also help burn away the guilt, so to speak.

The methods of keeping you clean is about two things: one, about purity culture, no smoking, no drinking, no friends who drink, no sex, no porn, no masturbation, no impure thoughts. The second, is the way they're able to subtly manipulate you into hiding yourself, into lying to yourself, into forcing yourself to the point of death into being cishet. They're keeping you clean not just from the vices of addiction, but the vices of the flesh, the vice you can't escape because it's a part of you from the day youre born. On a darker note, this could also be referring to c*nversion th*rapy, given this second interpretation of the lyrics

"Ripping your head and aspirations to shreds," Is again about two things in my opinion: both the idea of "losing yourself to God's will" that usually leads one to losing their identity and getting depression and fucked up mental health, and the "shift" that happens at church when you reach a certain age. You know the kind, right? You're four years old, and church is FUN! You get to go to this big room and sing and dance on stage with all your friends! You get to play GAMES! You get to talk to the ~cool teenagers~ who are ~Just like you~ and ~think youre a "cool kid"~, you have ~best friends~ who will be with you like Jesus and the 12! but then, one day, something happens, something SHIFTS. maybe the Sunday school teacher leaves, maybe there's a new family at church, maybe the church changes buildings. Maybe none of that has to do with any of it, all you know is that now things are forever different. Church isn't fun anymore. The kids classes are repetitive, they're bribing you into memorizing bible verses with money, they DONT reward critical thinking or analysis, but they do call you smart, that's because they dont want SMART kids they want OBEDIANT ones. You have no choice but to stat going to REAL church. Suddenly, your best friends are not your best friends. Suddenly they're avoiding you. Suddenly they're lying to you. Suddenly you're too... well they don't know the word yet but "gay" for them...

"Teenagers scare the living shit out of me"

This is what youth group does to you, it isolates you from your entire generation because there are few people your age and a whole lot older than you, and everyone is so much DIFFERENT from you for some reason, but neither of you know why, not yet anyways. This makes you distance yourself from teenagers, because you can't SEE yourself as a teenager, because youre nothing like other teenagers.

"They could care less as long as someone will bleed,"

This is the martyr complex that permeates youth culture like the smell of wine, the problem? these kids love to make a show of themselves and their martyrdom, but they're unwilling to martyr themselves, so what do they do? They throw someone else to the wolves and take the glory. They ostracize and eliminate the unique in the name of preserving their faith. They convert and convert and god help anyone who doesn't want to convert.

"So darken your clothes and strike a violent pose"

This is about deconversion, how the moment you leave the church you never want to see another cross till the day you die, that you want to avoid christians of all costs because you don't want them To drag you back into the pit that devoured you. So you do anything and everything you can to make yourself repulsive to Christians, which actually coincides with your indulgence of mundane activities previously considered as "sin"

"Maybe they'll leave you alone but not me,"

There's a different between a cishet ex Christian and a queer ex christian, and that difference is that a cishet atheist is more likely to be left alone than a queer one, especially a queer one whose whole demeanor screams "Christians be gone," that shit is like... it summons christians faster than free winter jam tickets! They swarm to you frothing at the mouth with holy water waiting to either convert you or exorcise you into purity, depends on if you want them or not. Again, you don't even have to be OPENLY gay, they can TRACK this shit. it's like fucking... INSTINCT or something.

"The boys and girls in the clique, the awful names that they stick, you're never gonna fit in much kid,"

as alluded to above, this lyric is about how, even from a young age, BEFORE youth group, this toxic culture kind of develops. ESPECIALLY around christian girls. They don't have the vulgarity of slurs, but they can make up for it with slang like "tomboy" "nancyboy" "too boyish" "a sissy" "Weird" etc, youre NEVER going to fit in, because the moment that "shift", from fun games and songs to Real Church, occurs, you have a target on your back.

"But if youre troubled and hurt what you got under your shirt will make them pay for the things that they did,"

This is probably a gun. But that's a tad too boring for my taste. If you were raised protestant you KNOW that being an ex protestant, after the craziness of evangelicalism, you would not hesitate to burn down your old church. It could be a secret tattoo, top surgery scars, hell maybe even nipple clamps. Whatever it is, it's symbolic of revenge. I know that anytime I wore my labrys necklace to church I would always hide it under my shirt. I hid books and CDs under there too. Again, it's about revenge, it's about breaking free, gun or no gun, the point is getting out and getting back at them.

and thats pretty much my take on the song. Again, this is not about artist intent this is just what the lyrics reminded ME of personally (as you can see from the over biographical bullshit I wrote), I'm always open to contradicting interpretations though as I always have like 2+ interpretations of a song or book! I never really saw the song through the lens of youth group specifically but when I went over the lyrics again in retrospect it all seemed to really click (pun not intended) well! Thanks for the ask!

[paperandsong]

Alexander Louis Teixeira de Mattos, 1865-1921

Here’s our man. Responsible for the first English language translation of Le Fantôme de l'Opéra in 1911. The man who gave us “hops jolly high!” and “you great booby” but also cut out approximately 100 pages of our beloved story. I thought I’d pull out the most interesting details from his Wikipedia page. There must be some untold story as to why he made the cuts that he did. Was is pressure from some editor? Was it his own personal sensibilities that were offended by some of Erik’s best lines? I really hope that in some dusty drawer somewhere there is an angry letter from Gaston himself cursing up a storm about his handling of Erik in the English language. Although Leroux may not have ever noticed. 

Fun Facts according to Wikipedia:

“Teixeira was fluent in English, French, German, Flemish, Dutch, and Danish.”

 [Quite impressive!]

“Teixeira was the leading translator for the Lutetian Society, a group whose mission was 'to issue to its members, translations of such representative master-pieces of fiction by Continental authors as are unprocurable in English in an unmutilated rendering.’"  

[Major side-eye here!] 

“He married Lily Wilde, née Sophie Lily Lees (1859-1922), the widow of Oscar Wilde's older brother Willie Wilde and thus became the stepfather of Dolly Wilde.”

[ Dolly Wilde, who later became a somewhat famous socialite in her time.]

“He was politically liberal and a devout Catholic.”

[Though his family was of ancient Jewish descent, he was raised Dutch Protestant and later converted to Catholicism. I wonder what influence his religious faith may have had over his censoring of Le Fantôme de l'Opéra? I wonder how he got along with Dolly?]

“Teixeira was known to his acquaintances as a dandy...”          

    [So, he was more of a Raoul.]

“The New York Times, in its obituary notice, called him ‘one of the best translators of foreign languages of the present generation.’”                           

[Again, side eye. I do love the manic tone of the de Mattos POTO translation. But the censoring and hacking of the original is just unforgiveable. I wonder if he did that to any other works?]

Ok, now get ready for some pedantic rambling:

Names and Nationalities

He had a beautiful Portuguese name. But he wasn’t really Portuguese. He was born Dutch and died a British subject. The Teixeira de Mattos Sampaio e Mendes families in the Netherlands are of Portuguese Jewish origin. Large numbers of Portuguese Jews fled to Amsterdam in the 1500′s due to intense religious persecution, so it’s possible his family had been in the Netherlands for hundreds of years, yet still maintained their Portuguese surnames. All of them. 

It’s hard to find out details on his parents, but it looks like his father’s name was Jacques Teixeira de Mattos. I couldn’t find out anything about his mother except that she was English. All of “Teixeira de Mattos” comes from his father, and his wife Sophie took on both names as well. So, we should probably be talking about the Teixeira de Mattos translation. Teixeira is a pretty intimidating word for English speakers (hint: the X is the English “SH”). For what it’s worth, his Wiki page calls him just “Teixeira”. But also, I don’t think it’s a really big deal. Is it as bad as cutting out 100 pages from Le Fantôme de l'Opéra? No, no it is not.

[phoebehalliwell]

Do Penn and Dency have like more a of sisterly than a cousin one since they’re so close in age (and they kinda grew up together since they only a few months apart). And like on a slightly different topic, what does Penn think of Dove? Did Penn and Dency share friends in Magic school or did they run in opposite circles?

tl;dr yeah they’re more sisterly & penn and dove don’t really like each other that much, & penn and dency definitely ran in different circles, especially as they got older. there’s like. a full on deep dive under the cut. i highly recommend u read if u wanna know why penn’s Like That & her complex relationship with both dency & dove, but um. it’s 3.7k words. but u should read it♥

i would definitely say they’re more sisters than they are cousins because like. i don’t know how close y’all are with your cousins. but like. cousinship is really not what i’d call a solid unbreakable fraternal bond you know? like penn and dency are like. 2.5 months apart so They Are The Same Age (even tho dency’s born in 02 & penn’s born in 03) and also because while in dency’s early years there is a phoebe/coop thread running, it still takes a while for those two to enter a committed relationship and move out so for the first. three? or so years of their lives, dency and penn literally shared a bedroom in the manor like they were raised kinda like twins just from a proximity standpoint. and then, of course, since they’re the same age and all, they hit milestones at the same time & are always in the same school year (which i feel like both these girls went to private schools which are like. always catholic schools idk if this is universal but like. i feel like in sf almost every single private school is tied to a church but maybe i just don’t know that many people who went to private school. and yes this is because i just really really want dency to go to a catholic school her being the antichrist so to speak all that i want her to be genuinely afraid that if she touches holy water she’ll burn it’s fun (it doesn’t burn her, for the record. she like. tried when she was 9/10 and it’s like one of those things like you know how you can lick your fingers and pinch out a candle flame so as a kid you wanna try it and you have saliva all over your fingers and you keep going in a chickening out because that’s fire!! that’s a flame!! what the fuck!!! so its a back and forth until you just gotta do it yeah that she ends up like plunging her full hand in when the plan was kinda only dip a finger but good news! she’s fine she does not burn with holy water.) maybe they go to public high school but like. private elementary and/or middle school. because high school who cares but going to a catholic middle school will leave the funniest long term effects on people).

and then, of course, magic school. they both go to magic school. which as i’ve stated before i think there are many magic schools this magic school is tethered to san francisco and i think really any west coast witches will attend that school but there aren’t That Many so class sizes are still like. 30 kids. and then, of course, as this is Charm School (as so it is dubbed as it is the school run by the charmed ones) they do kinda host their fair share of magical events which is mainly like the elders being like okay can we all get together let’s host a yule celebration here which they do in this world but not in the canon!gen2 due to one major defining factor: penn. because like. she’s the twice blessed man. magic literally shut down just like globally for a full day when she was born (dency actually retained a limited amount of magic as you know she has a bit of source. it’s a magic source. but like. very little it was insanely dampened). but you know globally no one really knew this was coming all of magic was left standing there with their dick in their hands until it turned back on and now there’s only one question: what the fuck was that? and the answer was a baby literally so powerful was born that all magic rested for a day to welcome this child. the twice blessed has arrived. And That’s A Big Fucking Deal! and again: the elders don’t really like the charmed ones all that much bit of a two way street here because the charmed ones don’t like them so they would love to take away this ability maybe save it for a rainy day with a family they don’t already have a dicey history with but um. source’s heir is right there. so we’re gonna keep the twice blessed in tact. but yeah basically the elders have kind of these magical holidays at magic school and penn has to be in attendance just because she’s kinda the representation of the best of good magic. she’s an idol everyone can kinda get behind you know rejuvenate the spirit of good magic unite the witches behind one figurehead.

which, for the record, piper and leo are Not Really Game for because what the fuck so it’s like. at first when the elders are like. let’s host a litha celebration here invite magical families around the world extend olive branches so to speak you know it also tells the underworld that good magic is strong on united really keeps them at bay (because they really have yet to recover from s7/s8 there’s still not centralized ruler demon/monster attacks have been way down and quite frankly the sisters wanna keep it that way. they love a world where their lives aren’t constantly at risk). so initially they’re like yeah sure they bring their kids because what are they gonna hire a babysitter the kids can be there and like. everyone fawns over penn. and penn initially loves it because like you’re 7 who doesn’t love being special being the center of attention. but piper & leo are like 😐 because they’re starting to see the game the elders are playing but you know. in the early years penn really likes going to these. i should state penn’s full name is actually melinda penelope halliwell and when she was young she did go by melinda but she really didn’t like how much she was compared to melinda warren esp with all the twice-blessed stuff (she also has leo’s hair color (i.e. blonde) so she does look a lot like her ancestor) so around 13 14 or so she starts going by penelope which people shorten to penny which is just another ancestor to be compared to so she shortens that to penn. so yeah through the elementary school era i think penn really likes attending these functions she likes being liked and piper and leo are like no really you don’t have to go in fact we’d prefer it if you’d stayed home but she’s like 9 she doesn’t get the minutia of it and she’ll like cry if she can’t go to the fun party. by the time she hits middle school tho she’s like no this shit is draining lmao can all these adults back off. but then like. by the time she hits high school she’s kinda caught on and if it’s her being a charming, polite, dazzling little twice blessed that keeps good magic solid and the underworld at bay, she can play that role. she will play that role. but now there’s a sense of duty to it.

so. i’m still talking. i think it magic school penn was really popular because she was like a household name you know, that and like she’s really got her father’s kind heart and can play mediator like her mother so she kinda can do the saintlike role given to her (which again is something she starts at a young age not realizing what all this is before and it grows into the core of who she is & now it’s inseparable. it’s kinda like the male gaze. but the elder gaze. even pretending you aren't catering to elder fantasies is an elder fantasy: pretending you're unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. you are a witch with an elder inside watching a witch. you are your own voyeur. lmao. haha but yeah penn has a really big circle but while people fawn over penn they are inherently distrustful of dency because again these are kids and they get their opinions from their parents. and some parents really don’t want the source of all evil going to school and learning alongside their kids. and this is kinda penn’s crucial flaw is she was kinda always taught to be so temperate that when people are mean to dency, she doesn’t like. go to bat for dency. she mediates. she’ll mediate in a situation where someone is clearly in the wrong but is like. let’s reach a peaceful agreement let’s try to see both sides because you know her parents especially leo raised her with this peace love & understanding mentality and she’s so young she doesn’t get the nuance of situations.

so, rather than kinda sit and field catty comments from other witches in penn’s social circle & watch penn try to turn this into some kind of socratic seminar on how we’re all different and we should all try to understand each other dency kinda just voluntarily breaks from penn’s circle. it’s not too difficult as not that many people really wanted her anyway and also she’s not always in the same classes as them as she needs lots of private tutoring to kind of. you know. hone her demon powers, which function differently.

and then this is where we bring in dove who is a witch with no active powers and two mortal parents, so she doesn’t actually realize it’s weird not to have active powers until she reaches magic school (after being enrolled by paige, who has basically assorted sidequests going at all time where she like. finds witches who don’t have the resources to learn the craft proper and rather than let them just risk it she enrolls them in her school. she does this in canon!gen2 as well that’s kinda like her whitelighter job as i don’t think she has too too many Charges in a traditional whitelighter sense). and then a bit of history on dove her parents are fucking loaded. the type of rich you eat, not just upper middle class. and her dad does fuck knows what tech shit in the silicon valley and her mom’s basically just a socialite. so dove, like penn, from a very young age learns the art of being the little doll at the party. we’re sitting this baby down at the grand piano and you’re all gonna coo and aww as she knocks out für elise okay? but the primary difference between penn & dove is dove was being coached. dove knew from a very young age what she was doing. penn was just what the john mulaney quote shiny and dumb and easy to trick? yeah. piper and leo didn’t want her there they didn’t want her exposed to like the notion of white magic politics, dove’s mother on the other hand basically trained her in the art of the social kill.

So. dove as a kid gets to magic school and kinda quickly realizes she’s not like the other kids. and yes, there are some late bloomers, but like. she’s really not like the other kids i mean she’s a witch with no lineage and no active powers and everyone else seems to have family friends and people they already know and she’s alone. so. ever the social strategist, she aligns herself with penn. and dove joined about late elementary school early middle school so she got contact with dency before she broke, but she knows her mostly by reputation because dove loves gossip and there’s a lot to be whispered about dency. unfortunately, there’s also a lot to be whispered about her. and it’s usually like. if you’re a late bloomer and you don’t have an active power, by the time you hit puberty one develops (there’s also like. the other marker is when the brain stops developing around age 25 sometimes power develop then and dove’s currently like 24 so she’s lowkey still holding out for that one). but dove kinda goes through puberty and doesn’t get an active power and now kids are calling her dud and this is where penn’s middle road logic fails her again because she just. she’ll be kind to dove and be like that’s really mean and they shouldn’t have said that, but she’ll also speak kindly to the bullies and be like hey that’s not nice don’t say that. and dove is not a temperate person so when she’s attacked she goes for the jugular. and penn pulls out again this peace love & understanding card like i understand you’re upset but you shouldn’t stoop to their level you should try to always be understanding because you don’t know what they’re going through and it pisses dove off because penn literally has no backbone. like she’s never really seen penn stand for anything and quite frankly she’s a little pissed about it because she specifically befriended penn for like protection for a place in the magical community and penn just like. does not offer that because she’s just do spineless.

so i think dove kinda just slowly distances herself from penn and penn doesn’t really do anything to keep friends so to speak because as the twice blessed kids kind of just flock to her she’s definitely got a really weird dynamic just with others as a whole so it’s like when dove stops invited penn over for playdates it’s not like penn’s gonna Start inviting dove over for playdates because that’s simply not how penn’s mind works. also almost all her playdates from like a really young age were really weird because it was just witches being like oh my god let’s set up a cute little playdate for our kids i’ll bring them over at 1 and piper and leo were game because you know yay socialization for my daughter, but you know it quickly became obvious that it wasn’t for the kids. like it was for these parents who get to be in the halliwell manor talking to a charmed one, the twice blessed is right there, & it was kind of sickening. so yeah. that happened one too many times. but like the further dove drifted from penn kind of the less she held her tongue because you know penn’s so kind and temperate that she really doesn’t like hearing insults quick jabs you know like obviously. but dove’s great at it. and yeah, there are kids dove just doesn’t like because they’re dicks to her. so when they go after dency, dove’s immediately ready to tear them to bits. it’s kind of like sticking up for the little man, but it’s more just like attacking the bully bc now you have a reason to. but what surprises dove is dency also has some bite to her words, dency also fights back. which dove again ever the social strategist thinks dency shouldn’t to that because she already has the title of the source’s heir hanging over her it’s not wise to pour fuel on that fire but at the same time she’s glad dency just like. does fight back. is a dick about it. she loves that she’s someone who doesn’t play the social game, someone who’s true to herself and isn’t going to water herself down in order to be liked by other people. you know dency’s got backbone she’s got chutzpah and dove loves to see it after everyone in magic school who are all just like. 11 year old sycophants finally someone who’s real. so i think dove and dency kind of become besties as they willingly mark themselves as the social outcasts who just. do what they want to do. it’s like dency’s basically a demon and dove’s basically mortal and together they’re just having like. a great fucking time. i think they really like each other. it’s also dove’s first friendship that literally has no exterior advantage if anything it brings down her stock but she doesn’t care because dency’s just like cool man.

and then nowadays they’re all like 24 and dency and dove live together dency works as a freelance journalist (even though elise is constantly offering her a permanent position at the bay mirror, dency doesn’t accept it because she “doesn’t want a nepotism job” to which elise is like dency i wouldn’t offer you the job if i didn’t think you were any good my own niece has been trying to get an internship here for two years but she writes absolute drivel okay i don’t want you here because you’re my goddaughter i want you here because you’re an excellent writer. but dency still always turns her down because she doesn’t like the optics. she still spends a lot of time a the bay mirror just because i really love the visual of punk rock antichrist rolling up to the bay mirror and immediately getting the biggest hug from elise when most employees have yet to even see elise smile) & then dove on the other hand 100% has a nepotism job she like does pr for her dad’s company. penn i think works in piper’s kitchen as a line cook where she literally like addresses her mom like yes chef all that like people don’t know she’s the owner’s daughter hell they barely know her name and she kinda loves it like that.

and dency and penn definitely have this kind of testy relationship because dency never leaves well enough alone. i mean that’s literally her job right as a journalist, but it carries over into magic too & penn hates it because someday dency’s gonna get herself killed. but the fact of the matter is their fighting styles are not compatible. penn and dency are not good side by side in a fight & dency would much rather work alone. but, if penn knows anything, she’s gonna be there. she refuses to let dency go in alone because if dency dies and there was something she could have done about it she’d never forgive herself. this is why dency doesn’t go to penn for healing anymore because again they can’t lie to each other given their lie detector power, so rather than get penn involved dency goes to her friend jack who is both a mortal & and nurse & went to like the same private elementary school as dency, tho i think he was in on a lottery. And. Of Course. there is a vice versa going on here because dency does not tell penn things because like. if penn dies because she was following dency into some dangerous battle she’d never forgive herself. because, quite honestly, dency knows she’s powerful. she has a skill set that practically no one has the ability to counter. but also. she’s the source’s heir. penn’s the twice blessed. the world needs penn a lot more than it needs her, you know? dency does kind of view herself as more expendable than penn, you know again penn is the embodiment of all good magic and the story’s definitely been spun that penn and the elders kind of unifying good magic, creating a strong bond keeps the underworld at bay. penn’s death would be a devastating blow. and on top of that, penn’s really not a fighter. dency is, she’s great at it. and you know, if penn was always running headfirst into battles like dency, it really would be a mirror relationship but penn really does not practice magic outside of magic school. so that’s not a concern. but yeah. given this fact that penn is really more important symbol-wise & the fact they do not fight well together & the fact penn’s just not great at fighting & she does not remotely know the demonic world like dency does, dency really does try to keep her cousin in the dark as much as possible.

dove and penn kind of in the present have a bit of a rivalry going at least penn considers it a rivalry because penn genuinely considers them equals, dove on the other hand does not because penn is the twice blessed and dove is a witch without powers but yeah. no one really can argue the way they argue because it really doesn’t sound like an argument it’s like. written down it can seem like a perfectly friendly conversation but there is kind of this intense vein of malice running through most of their interactions. which, while we’re kind of positioned to side with dove because she’s more of a main character than penn is, she’s besties with our protagonist, also i love her, dove is definitely the instigator. and it’s not like penn’s deserving of any of dove’s harassment but dove is just still really bitter about how penn was supposed to be her shelter as a young girl but penn never stands up for anything leaving dove really vulnerable as a kid. which she has not ever voiced to penn, penn just thinks dove’s a bitch (which she is, but like,) but at the same time penn almost always seeks dove out or even invites her (not directly, but rather by extension by insisting dency has to come no no you have to come listen you can bring a friend okay but you have to be there. because dency will only ever bring dove.) to these magical functions because a) dove’s kind of already so low on the food chain that she’s really fine with making snide comments to the faces of these really pretentious parents who are only in it for power and optics. like penn always has to pretend not to smile when dove makes the comments she always wished she could say just like. to an elder’s face. and then on top of that, dove’s about the only person who doesn’t view penn as sacred, and by extension, now that they’re older, dove is about the only person penn doesn’t have to act sacred around (outside of her own family, obvi). like. penn has piper’s bitchiness. she just never gets to say what’s on her mind because she’s too busy being The Twice Blessed. unless she’s around dency & dove & co, where nobody cares who she is, and she can be kind of the dick she is. she’s not as temperate as she seems.