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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck: The Last of the Clan McDuck! Review “It Was Worth THE Dime”

This is one of my faviorite comic book stories of all time. Given i’m a massive comics nerd, for both books and strips, that is the highest praise I can give this wonderful, epic, beautifully drawn and deeply emotoinal story. I first discovered it in the local library that had the second volume, and found the rest online at a now long dead fan site. And while it took me longer than I care to admit to really dig into Duck Comics, and even now i’ve only scratched the surface, I can say without a doubt this story is the reason I’m so deeply attached to Scrooge as a character, and that I was excited as I was for Ducktales 2017. This comic showed me just what Scrooge McDuck should be at his core as a character, and showed me what a wonderful character that is. So with all that glowing praise as you can guess i’ve been wanting to cover this for years, and even considered though back when I was more primarily a comic book reviewer last year. Any time i’ve reviewed stuff before now, i’ve considered it, and with Scrooge’s Sisters Hortense and Matilda presumably and definitely debuting on Ducktales soon, and it’s about damn time, the timing could not be better or clearer to dig into this utter triumph. But before we can take a look at the story itself we naturally have to take a look at the man behind it: Writer and Artist Don Rosa. Don Rosa is easily one of the best Duck Comics writer out there, seen by many as only second to his own faviorite duck comics writer and God of Ducks, Carl Barks. For those 1 of you who do not know, Barks was the man who created pretty much everything in the duck universe comics wise and a bit in animation too: He created Daisy, Scrooge, Gladstone, Magica, The Beagle Boys, The Junior Woodchucks, Gyro, Little Bulb, Glomgold, Rockerduck, and the list goes on. While he didn’t make EVERY duck, he made so many that it’d be impossible to imagine either version of Ducktales being possible without him. So of course Rosa was a fan and while he took up the family buisness, he was also an artist and duck comics fanboy on the side. So when, even if it meant a paycut, the opportunity to actually write and draw them came up, he lept at it and thus became one of their publishers go to guys, even if said publisher published the stories overseas where the Duck Comics are far more popular and still going to this day, and ironically where most duck comics printed nowadays get their stories from. Rosa was known for his meticous historical research and gorgeous art that he took his time drawing to get just perfect and showed on the page. The man has easily some of hte best and most detailed duck art around and I still haven’t found a duck artist that can match him.. and if you have or found one close i’d genuinely love to see that. He is a genuinely talented, spirited guy who was sadly mistreated by disney and that, coupled with tragically failing eyesight, eventually ended his career. He’s still around and I genuinely hope to meet him some day as he still does conventions. The man is not without fault: I don’t get his hatred of superhero comics, as while I get them overshadowing funnybooks and that around the time of his career they were in decline, but it’s just as unfair to write off Superhero comics as mindless. garbage as it is for people to write off the Duck Comics as “only for kids” and I genuinely wish he’d see that and see how the medium has evolved so much since then. I also grumble a bit as his refusal to allow anything besides barks into his bubble, and having to be forced to include fethry on the family tree, but that’s more personal preference. I like using as much material as you got. IT’s why i’ve wanted to, and hopefully will eventually get around to, write a sonic fanfic using bits of all the various universes that for legal, ken penders being an absolute waste of a human being, and sega being stupid reasons can’t be used anymore. I like taking everything in a franchise and putting it in a blender and it’s why I love the reboot. But there’s nothing wrong with taking things as is, not stepping on toes canon wise, but still being awesome. We’re just diffrent people and that’s okay. And a lot of his fanboy showing actually lead to REALLY good things: Goldie O’Gilt was a one off character, and while used ocasoinally overseas, didn’t really pick up as a character again until a combination of Ducktales 87 and Rosa’s work with her, as he always loved the character, and fleshing her out lead to her being used more, and gaining a sizeable fandom. He also gained the Cablleros an even bigger fandom by giving them two stories of their own, and fleshing them out a bit more. And this very comic is the peak of that, taking EVERY mention of scrooge’s past from various backstories to set up adventures, every tiny scrap, and to his credit going to both Barks Himself and various other Barks Experts Rosa was friends with to check his work, especially difficult given he likey had to find these stories in issue or pullt hem from disney archives, and complied it into one long epic that not only uses all this info effortlessly, but spins a compelling story that gives us a clear vision of what Scrooge should be, how he became the man he is, and how he lost himself only to find himself again with the help of three precocious boys and a cynical 30 something duck. So taint all bad is what i’m saying. As for how this got started, thankfully rosa himself provided the origin story for this project in the back of the volume of his works that contained the first 7 chapters of life and times, as well as detailed notes for every chapter. At the time Rosa was working for Egmont, the big european publisher who handles Disney’s much larger european comics market, hence why most of his stories appeared years earlier in Europe before debuting here. The american publisher at the time , and an old friend of his, called Rosa with an idea: A 12 issue Maxi-Series focusing on Scrooge’s history, since at the time they were all the rage.. and really even today mini series are still a viable market and many indie titles just have several minis instead of an ongoing. So it wasn’t a bad idea, Rosa just simply offered a tweak: He’d tell his publisher at Egmont about the idea, and let her get a crack team of writers and artists to do this proper, and thus Disney could publish it for free once it was done and for no extra cost. Rosa gave his publisher a fax detaling both the idea and the fact that it needed to be done right, given to the best person possible, and done with the greatest care. She agreed.. and naturally handed it to him, as he admits he hoped. She made the right call, a legend was born and here we are. One last bit before the read more and before I get to the first story itself at last: Since barks wrote a lot of side stories that fit into the canon, I COULD slot them in between chapters, but have instead chosen to review the original 12 part story as was, and do the various side stories and two epilogues, the utterly fantastic “Dream of a Life Time”, easiliy one of my faviorite comics ever, and the also really great “Letter From Home”, which will likely on some level be the basis for the upcoming at the time of this review “Battle for Castle McDuck!”, after completing the story. In other words i’m probably going to be at this for years. so join me under the read more won’t you as I begin the journey of a thousand miles with a single step as we look at the humble start of a legend.

We begin, after a fun short teaser with present Day scrooge saying his past is no one’s buisness only to get hit with an oh yeah?, with a scrap book title for the issue, something I want to bring up since while I got that’s what it was what I never got, and must’ve glanced over when I first read rosa’s notes when I got this copy, was that it isn’t SCROOGE’S scrap book, but his sister Matilda’s who dutifully and happily catologued her brother’s adventures. It’s a really sweet moment.. and something that will hit VERY hard when we reach Chapter 11. If you haven’t read this story or heard of it.. .that’s this story’s equilvent of “Last Crash of the Sunchaser” and clearly Frank and Matt drew from that story a bit for it, but we can get more into the parallels when we get there. A smaller but fun note is that Rosa had specific coin drawing templates, for different indentions and what not he used, and used them for the coins in these intro bits. Yes he admitted he has a problem and yes that’s damn impressive anyway.

It’s Scrooge’s 10th birthday, and his father Fergus has taken him up to see the family land, Dismal Downs to tell him of the mighty Clan McDuck and show him the ancestral lands, graveyards and Castle. He admits to having taken this long because the Clan McDuck currently lives in Glasgow so it’s kind of a long trip just to show your son “Hey look at the decay and rot that’s our ancestral homeland”. The Clan is on hard times, as a bad shipping deal, the backbone of a rather good barks story and I wont’ be interjecting for every barks reference as it’d get rather tiring though for what it’s worth Rosa provided tons of detailed footnotes in the back of each Fantagraphics collection, so good on him. Speaking of which though they do include 10 pages of Mc Duck family history that was supposed to open this story.. until Rosa’s editor wisely pointed out the story isn’t about them but scrooge and having read his roug draft, yeah.. there’s a good gag here and there, as well as “Dirty” Dingus McDuck, scrooge’s Grandpa and the reason Dewey is cursed with that middle name. Why anyone thought Dingus was a good name is beyond me, nor why Donald thought that was a good middle name back in 2009 is again, beyond me. Good on Don though for getting that past the censors. But yeah with no money they can’t buy the land back and they were scared off it years ago by a mystical ghost dog, the hound of the whiskervilles. There is treasure in the castle, Sir Quackly’s gold, but he accidently sealed himself into a wall while sealing his treasure in there. Their interrupted by the town assholes, the Whiskervilles who have been grazing sheep on the land and are naturally behind the hound, using the sound of it to scare off Fergus once they realize he’s a McDuck. Because apparently you can keep a Scooby Doo style hoax up for Centuries if you don’t have meddling kids around. Who knew. Back in Glasgow, we meet the rest of Scrooge’s family: His Uncle Jake, his sisters Matilda and Hortense, and his mother Downy. Jake hasn’t really been mentioned at all in Ducktales and I know next to nothing about him, which given I share a name with the guy you’d THINK I would. I mean I know a decent amount about this Jake.

But nothing about who the hell Jake McDuck is or why he lives with his brother and his family. Here, you guys watch the dancing Jake, i’m going to probably do that for hours after this review is done, i’m going to go sort this out. Okay one google and finding the Scrooge Mcduck wiki page on him, Jake shows up here likely because he was referenced in the story “A Christmas For Shacktown” and apparently borrowed from Scrooge and never paid it back. Otherwise.. there’s not a lot about him and unlike the rest of Scrooge’s family he really dosen’t do much that I can remember. Except like 2017 Scrooge, he apparently has become extremely long lived, as Scrooge and Donald STILL think he’s alive in the 1950′s.. and likely is STILL alive in some form in the Don Rosa stories, given his take place after Barks and thus in the 40′s and 50′s where Barks stories were set. Hence why unlike the Reboot, Scrooge isn’t inexpecilbly over 210. But Jake McDuck sure as heck is. Maybe this highlander is a highlander.. you know the movie and tv show type. Maybe someone cut off his head. That’s what i’m going with.

This does bring me to another point about this story: While Barks gave all of scrooge’s family their names, it’s where Rosa got them after all, it’s Rosa who really made them into characters. Fergus as a loving father ashamed his family legacy has fallen and wanting his son to do better than him, Downy as an equally loving wife and mother, Matilda as his sweet and caring sister and later her brother’s moral center, and Hortense.. well here she’s just a babbling baby but her character will become clear and glorious as we go. She is adorable here though and we do get some great bits with her. Getting back to the plot now i’ve made my points, Jake is riled up wanting to understandably kick the Whiskerville’s asses with Scrooge, who even as a sweet innocent ten year old still has the family temper already, agreeing.. but Downy gently shoots them out pointing that two middle aged-ish men and a 10-year old just aren’t enough to fight an army of them and while she doesn’t mention it the fight would just tire them out for work and accomplish nothing as while it is the McDuck’s land the combination of the hound and the lack of money to move back means it’s pointless. She also mentions their younger brother Pothole, who went to America. This will be important later.

Scrooge storms off and Fergus laments, in a scene that’s more painful the more I think about it, how his clan has fallen, with he and his brother lamenting their chances at glory are long gone.. but Fergus has hope his son can do better, and for his son’s birthday makes him a shoeshine kit in the hopes of inspiring him to greatness. This scene still resonates since many of us are poor, struggling and not doing so good money wise. I’m sure many parents have doubts and regrets about not being able to do more for their kid.

Not only that but the story carefully avoids the trap of Fergus accidently being abusive by you know, pinning his family’s future on one 10 year old. While yes he is asking a lot of Scrooge, to restore their family name.. it’s very clear he mostly just wants his son to do better than him. Even if Scrooge was just slightly more successful, Fergus would likely be happy with that. He’s not using the legacy as a “This what you must be” like say the Gems in steven universe did for Steven with Rose’s Legacy, the kind where it sort of suffocates you till youc an make it your own. He’s just saying “this is what you can be” He believes his child can be great and simply once him to reach his full potetial and is simply giving him a means to hopefully do so, a simple home made shoe shine kit. While Jake scoffs, the narration notes the idea isn’t worth a dime.. it’s worth THE dime. The dime that would set Scrooge’s destiny in motion.

The next morning, Fergus goes to check up on his son and his new buisness but Scroogey’s having no luck and about ready to just quit, the poor child. Also Matilda is dragging her baby sister around like a doll and it’s entirely precious as it is funny.

But as for those Dorty Boots, Matilda wonders why her dad dosen’t just tell Scrooge that Burt the Ditch Digger is coming. Fergus tells her to quite and then explains his plan: he’s sending Burt to scrooge, with an American dime Fergus and Matilda found, to teach his son a lesson: By giving him a hard days work, he’ll teach him what hard work truly means.. and by having Burt “cheat” him with the American dime, it’ll give him the motivation to keep going and to nto be as wide eyed and trusting. It’s a well meaning if harsh lesson, and the kind you’d expect from 1900′s parenting and fits the origin well: Scrooge still earned his first money square, as he still did work.. but his getting cheated being a lesson dosen’t diminish what it taught scrooge, and helps flesh out what I talked about above, Fergus knowing his son has great potential he just needs inspiration to reach it. And instead of just telling him that he does a con job but it’s the 1900′s. This orign, and Fergus’ part in it would be entirely untouched in Ducktales 2017, the first scrooge based adaptation since this comic came out, and I bless them for it. Frank even said this comic was used as a bible by the writers and while theirs clear deviations, and we’ll get to that, they were mainly done for good reason, and it’s very clear that while scrooge’s history is very VERY diffrent in the reboot, the core of his past is still there.

So the plan is on and young scrooge spends half an hour killing himself to get Burt’s shoes clean before getting his dime.. and realizing he’s been had, makes this proud decleration that will be the bedrock of his entire life and character.

Scrooge being naturally stubborn as you can see takes his cheats a leson: There will always be hard honest work, and he will be there to do it and he’ll be tougher and sharper than anyone trying to cheat him out of his pay. Fergus’ plan has the intended effect, and Scrooge having learned a hard lesson now has the drive and determination we know him for. As for why it gives it to him.. I had to think on it a bit but it makes sense: For some a setback like this would make them quit.. for Scrooge it’s just proof he CAN find customers, he CAN do this job, or any at his hardest and instead takes this as a lesson to be prepared ot out think and outfight anyone who dares cheat him again, and to not earn his money by being the kind of guy who cheats a kid out of an honest days pay, but as a good honest duck like his father and his father before him. =He will make his money square so he can be the kind of person this seeming stranger SHOULD have been. Granted we’ll see Scrooge doesn’t end up as the best person at times but .. we’ll get there. So with the fire inside turned from a spark into the flame Scrooge soon got to work, and by the next panel we see he’s eventually worked his stand up from a small box given to him by his dad, to a three seater shoeshining bench, who he wipes all at once by stretching one of his mother’s girldes over a light pole, a detail I didn’t get the first time around but now love. Naturally being a good kind boy much like his Nephews, Scrooge always gave his proud father a portion of his earnings, if with a full receipt for tax purposes. Because he’s still scrooge after all. His dad wonders he did too good a job while Hortense glxbit’s in agreement.

As the years go on, a now tween Scrooge is eventually able to save up for a horse cart, and starts selling Fire Wood up in the city. He eventually realizes Peat, an earthy subtance found in bogs I only know about because I had to look it up for this review, is more profitable and with some snappy marketing moves into selling Peat for the rich instead, also showing the young lad already has a grasp of how to sell to obnoxious rich people.

But while his business is booming, our young hero can’t resist visiting his family’s ancestral home and longing for it, hoping one day to have it for himself and in a nice show of how despite his temper and tenacity forged over the last few years he’s still at hear the kind, sweet optimistic lad he was just a few pages ago, he decides to tidy up the Clan’s Cemetary while he’s here.

Unfortunately as proof that Donald and Della’s terrible luck comes from both sides of the family the Whiskervilles are sub-glomgold levels of human beings.. or Dogfaces in this case, and are digging up the McDuck Clan’s graves to hunt for treasure. Scrooge tries to simply do the smart thing and flee, but the asshole brigade catch sight of him and mistkaing him for a peat burgalar chase after him.. and spend WAY too much time and energy chasing a teenage boy over some fucking bog grass you clearly aren’t selling yourselves. I mean spare a thought for how dumb this is: They could easily sell of of that peat to put up a fence or chop down some trees to get the material if their really that concerned about someone getting in the bog. Then again this isn the 1800 and 1900′s where the child death toll was simply “Yes”, so they likely thought whose gonna notice one more dead child on our property?

Scrooge heads toward the castle and is gestured in by a friendly mystery duck who gladly shows him around and can tell he’s a McDuck just by look, showing the castle is still in glorious condition as the whiskervilles are too spooked to go in, hence why they didn’t chase Scrooge inside. I’d say being afraid of ghosts but not murdering a child is weird but these are the same guys who thought murdering a child was plan A. We’re not dealing with a brain trust is what i’m saying. So the mystery duck shows Scroogey around, showing off some colorful stories about his ancestors recycled from that scrapped prologue I mentioned. THe mystery man, who brushes off Scrooge thinking he’s a McDuck asks Scrooge what he’s doing to restore the family glory and while Scrooge points out he’s already working on it, Mystery Duck points out he’s still missing something: He has the drive and the dream, but peat and shoeshining, while getting him good money for his family, aren’t the thing you can build a fortune or a future off of. He then points out where Scrooge’s dime comes from: America.. and that gives the boy the idea to head to the states. As for what he could possibly DO there to start, the mystery guy mentions his uncle pothole. So Scrooge has the dream, the drive.. and now a plan: Go to america, work for his uncle on the riverboats, and work his way up from there till he finds his fortune and restores his family name. But while his future is settled, the present is still an issue and Scrooge wants to teach the child murder club a lesson and thus borrows, though MM wisely points out it’s all his property a horse and some armor, and stuffs the armor with peat. As for what his plan is.. welllll

That.. is fucking awesome. And far from the last fucking awesome moment in this thing. It also shows off even as not quite a teen yet, Scrooge is still a badass already, and while he doesn’t have his trademark strength or fighting skills quite yet, his ingenuity is already there.. and that will always trump both. The Whiskervilles run away and into some quicksand and Scrooge vows to return one day as laird and reclaim his family land. But that’s a story for a few chapters down the line. As for who the mystery duck is, he’s naturally Sir Quackely himself, or rather his ghost, who was simply guiding Scrooge and didn’t give him the treasure as simply handing him the money wouldnn’t restore their family’s good name or continue their bloodline now would it?

For now Scrooge returns to work for a bit before finding his way to America: A cattleboat to New Orleans looking for a Cabin Boy. And so Scrooge bids farewell to his family. His Dad, feeling bad he can’t even give his boy shilling, gives him the family pocketwatch with jake pitching in with the family gold dentures. While Scrooge naturally refuses to sell the watch, he does plan to sell the teeth as soon as possible for good reason. We then get some sweet goodbyes with him, his sisters (With hortense uttering her first words to everyone’s astonishment) and loving mother as he wonders just what awaits him in America.

And there he stands on the bow of a ship, heading for a new land, in New Orleans he can be a new man. And we’ll see just what kind of man he becomes as this series continues. For now this is the end of a chapter but the beginning of a lifetime.

Final Thoughts on Last of the Clan McDuck:

This story is excellent. While there are even better chapters to come, this one is still one of the most memorable and most joyous, showing just how Scrooge became what he is, where some of his values come from, others will be instilled along the way , and beginning to flesh out his family. We see Scrooge’s love of wealth comes from starting from the bottom, growing up with a family that barely had anything and badly needed everything, but was loving and instilled fine morals in him. We also see a Scrooge far removed from the bitter old man he is in present day, an optimistic naïve young lad who only wants best for his family. It’s a nice stark contrast to who he’ll become, good and bad, and a nice way to both compare him to Huey Dewey and Louie and break your heart as his own hardens before briefly turning black later on. The art, as is standard for this series and Rosa, is breathtaking, and the story isn’t lacking in good jokes, their just downplayed so the story itself can take center stage. There’s nothing really more to say: it’s an excellent start to an even more excellent tale and stands proud among an already stellar story as one of it’s finest outings.

NEXT RAINBOW: Scrooge goes down to the mighty Missipi to work on the riverboats and meets one of his signature Rogue’s for the first time in their first form, as well as Gyro’s dad.. or grandpa.. or possibly both I don’t know his family tree. Point is, tune in next time for some riverboat hyjinks. Until then if you’d like to comission an episode of any animated show, especially ducktales and the various other duck related disney shows, or another Duck Comics story you really like from Rosa, Barks or whoever you want really, I take commissions for 5 dollars a review, with 5 dollars off your full order when you put in for more than one episode or issue. You can also follow me on patreon.com/popculturebuffet and for just two bucks a month get access to polls (which i’ll start once we have at least three patreons), and my exclusive discord server. And if you liked this review be sure to reblog it to show off. My self promotion done until next time: There’s always another rainbow.

#scrooge mcduck #don rosa #ducktales #the life and times of scrooge mcduck #fergus mcduck #downy mcduck #hortense mcduck #hortense duck #matilda mcduck #jake mcduck #uncle scrooge #duck comics #disney duck comics #carl barks

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zirkkun · 4 years ago

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you don't have to post this if you don't want, i just wanted to let you know I support you. maybe I'm just not in the right headspace to understand, but i truly don't get the mentality that you not wanting to create 18+ content for an au you love, even one that's specifically 18+, is somehow censuring. you are the owner of your blog and you create for you and how you're comfortable doing it? just because you personally aren't publicly making nsfw content doesn't mean other people can't/you don't like them. the only thing I sorta understand is the name thing and how, out of context, it could seem you weren't happy with the original, but even then that's a valid perspective. not everybody has to like an AU, and if someone wants to do their own version there is literally no excuse for sending them hate. this is a fandom of AUs and derivative content, to get mad at someone else for following suit is hypocritical. you aren't in the wrong here, and the people spreading misinformation about you with the intention to hurt (even if they feel thReAtEnED by your PERSONAL AU INTERPRETATION THAT RHEY ARE FREE TO CURATE OUT OF THEIR FEED SHOULD THEY NOT LIKE IT ...) are absolutely being horrendous. I'm here for you if you wanna talk, you can DM on discord or here. I hope you're okay.

I mean, in a way I can understand taking it as censoring, especially after talking to a few people about it directly, since it was a bit of a combination between both the interpretation of the name misunderstanding as well as ULR not being 18+ leading to the conclusion that it was censoring Underlust. But after I explained it, the couple of people who approached me about that specific issue understood pretty quickly, too.

And, in all honesty, if I don't really like something, I wouldn't go through the effort of trying to make anything based off of it. The closest example that I can think of where I did something akin to that is when I once tried like, writing an AU for Fire Emblem Fates, because I love the concept of the games, but thought the execution couldn't have been worse. (I've done insane amounts of research on how it truly was so bad, and honestly, the dev team was a complete mess, so I don't really blame them for how it turned out despite them being the ones that made it lol. They barely could come to a midway point for it, so the fact they released it was a miracle.) Sure, there's points of Underlust I don't like, but as I've said before I could say that about everything I like. Except maybe Promare /j (but it is a good movie)

It's also probably really weird, but like, even with things I know I don't like, I'm willing to read or look into sometimes. Like, I don't like Dreamtale at all, but I've gotten myself fairly invested in More than one fic about it and do like some people's works based on it. I'm between unable to handle and yet can tolerate yandere fics nowadays thanks to Alch's fics and them just being a generally wonderful human being, but like, before that they just sent me into a panic attack lol. Ragnartale is also a weird one I am somehow invested in, since it's like, on the surface, it looks like something I wouldn't enjoy, esp since. None of the ships showcased I'm really into at all. But I'm very invested in it ;w;.

Anyway, my point with this part lol is like, I love seeing different interpretations of the same thing, and it's absolutely wild to me walking into this fandom from every other fandom I've been in where like, and AU is just the same characters in a different scenario, while here an AU is literally a whole separate world based off of either Undertale itself or a different AU entirely and the cast is really varied and even if characters are of the same origin from one AU to another, they're so distinctly different that some of them are unlinkable to the character they originate from. And y'all made a multiverse out of it!! With consistent lore between said multiverse!! Wh?? Like I said I've been on the internet a long time but this is genuinely the only instance I've seen this happen, and while I've been told it used to be worse, y'all are super respectful about stuff here too (and like, notably on YouTube with AMVs and MEPs, people actually credit where they got the fanart from in the description?? It's not all of them, and some may be without permission, but this is still the ONLY fandom I've seen do that and that's one hell of a leg up on everyone else.) It's like weirdly, to me, like... an ideal way art should be? Like, a world where anyone can make whatever they want, and people work with each other and from different things, taking inspiration from each other with credit and care and love and not slamming people in the face with a big copyright button for so much as thinking about making something off of their content (coughnintendocough). Obviously Toby's a chill guy too, for not only allowing this to all happen, but based on that message he left in i think the 5th anniversary vinyls, adores it just as much.

So yeah, definitely being slapped in the face when I step in with my idea after all of that openness before me definitely kinda hurt LMAO. It does feel nice to finally like. Actually talk about it instead of holding it in though. Even if it's actually almost two months later now (cause this happened on like December 5th and i was like already having an awful week with a real bad birthday so that was fun avdbwvsn)

I don't know that the original intent was to spread misinformation, because from what it seemed like, they merely read one post, blocked me, and then told everyone about the information they got from said post, but from there it became misinformation, because that one post is probably the oldest post about ULR and doesn't properly summarize anything about it at all it just has character faces and rules for the ask box lol. And frankly, before I updated it, it was out-of-date and inaccurate as well, cause i never thought it would be necessary to change. But that info that i have is also from like one or two posts my friend snagged off of twitter (cause, well, they blocked me lol), so I'm not really 100% certain.

But even so, thank you for the support man, I think I'm good for now, but I really appreciate your offer and checking in on me like this, it really does mean a lot💕💕

#zircon answers #owl bones #and i dont rlly mind posting at this point tbf #also being on mobile you cant really reply privately which i hate lol #need an xkit for mobile so it functions like desktop sometimes honestly lol

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jennikkugoesoff · 6 years ago

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Jennikku goes off about a Sonic the Hedgehog Reboot.

If you follow me at all or have read many of my other rants, you’ll know I love Sonic the Hedgehog. A lot, with all my heart. I met my friends through Sonic and it’s a franchise that’s changed a lot in my life, for better, for worse and everything in-between. It’s the reason I started to draw, to write and to really give creativity a chance.

It’s a series that has been through many twists, turns, up and down and all arounds over the course of it’s long, 28 (as of the time of writing) year lifespan, and has stood the test of time, being heralded either as one of the best video game franchises of all time, or, well, one of the worst out there, becoming more and more dated by each passing day.

But, it didn’t start out that way. Everyone’s told the long, terrible story now about Sonic’s massive rise to the top of 1990s American Iconography and his massive plummet into the depths of Hell, dragging his now-bitter fans down with him following the turn of the century and segwaying into the modern age, so I won’t bog you with the details you already know, but here’s the main point.

Sonic the Hedgehog... kinda sucks.

And that’s because it’s a mess. An astronomically confused, tired, and beaten mess. In the 28 year lifespan of Sonic the Hedgehog, it’s canon has become massively tangled in knots. Inconsistent games, inconsistent comics, inconsistent cartoons, and so on and so forth. Anyone who’s a fan of Sonic comes from a place where they heard about Sonic, be it the games, the cartoons, the comics, and so on, and therefore, have a different mindset about what Sonic the Hedgehog should be, which is the cause for much of the heavy, almost unpleasable climate the fan community gives off.

Really? The only way I see the series being salvageable is to wipe the slate clean and begin... at least somewhat anew, and see how these scatted pieces of broken glass we call the ‘Sonic canon’ can fit together.

This has been tried once, with Sonic Boom, but it didn’t really end well, and I’d like to change that, so let’s have this hypothetical reboot take the same form as Sonic Boom, as a potential ‘new face’ for the entire series, rather than a spinoff continuity. (I feel like this was the original intention of Sonic Boom, but due to the backlash, was revoked.)

Are you comfortable? Let’s go. It’s gonna be a long-ass, tiring, winding post.

(Seriously I spent fucking 3 days just writing this post. For that reason, there may be a few gRaMatTcul eRors here and there, just bear with me, okay? I’m tired and I just wanna heave out this monster of an idea.)

Housecleaning and on wiping the slate clean

Ok, before we actually get into redoing the series, I wanna make this clear, when I say I want to ‘wipe the slate clean’, that’s sort of an exaggeration. I don’t think Sonic needs to be completely rewritten from scratch, and certain elements of the series DO work very well, so it’s more we’re gonna ‘wipe the slate clean, but immediately redraw things back on, except bigger and better than they were before.’

The reason why is, Sonic the Hedgehog has a kind of ‘hoarder complex’ when it comes to his franchise. As I established earlier, the main problem with rebooting Sonic the Hedgehog as compared to another franchise like, say, Ducktales, or Ghostbusters, is that Sonic the Hedgehog has a lot of lore. Too much lore. Think about the crazy amount of lore surrounding Solaris, Mephiles, Dark and Light Gaia, the Wisps, Chaos, and Tikal, Shadow and the Black Arms, Silver, the Sol Dimension and Blaze, Eggman Nega, the Nocturnus Clan, the list goes on and on and on. It’s head-spinning, it’s confusing, and most of all, obtrusive to what’s actually important in the Sonic Canon versus what seems important.

This isn’t helped by the fact that Sonic has never really had a consistent ground to stand on in terms of his world and where he lives because where he lives changes with every game or new thing Sonic is in. So, introducing these new, complicated gods and grand, sprawling history all of a sudden doesn’t give the world Sonic lives in any ground or any real meaning if it’s just going to be ignored later on when Sonic Forces completely rewrites the world map from Unleashed. (This is a problem I have with the Mario and Kirby series too.)

Even if you claim something like the Sonic Archie comics have consistency in their setting, think about how much the comic’s version of Mobius changed over the course of its lifespan after not only being completely rewritten (thanks Ken Penders. I’m sure your horrific 3d render children are proud.) and two crossovers, not to mention all the subtle shifts and changes the comic made from its debut comic to its cancellation.

So, if we’re going to do this, we need to get this straight right now.

A new Sonic reboot will NEED to cover EVERY base of the Sonic continuity. Games, Comics, Cartoons, Merchandising (with the exception of maybe some anniversary stuff), The Whole Echidna- er, Enchilada.

If the problem with Sonic as it is, is that the continuity is messy because it keeps adding new stuff? THEN STOP FUCKING ADDING NEW STUFF!!

NO ONE’S GONNA LIKE THE NEW STUFF ANYWAY!!

PEOPLE FUCKING HATE CHANGE!!

THIS FRANCHISE IS SO FUCKing MiSTReATED!- FUCK!!

Nah, but seriously. If this reboot is gonna work, then it needs to BE a proper reboot. Not a side-series like Sonic Boom, not an ‘alternate dimension’ to dip into for mainline games, not a one-off series of animated shorts, no quills, no pillows. If we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna go all in. At least in terms of continuity.

So, you know what we’re gonna name this reboot?

Sonic the Hedgehog

Just, Sonic the Hedgehog. Yep. All in, indeed.

Audience, Tone, and Genre

I feel maybe I should’ve split these into multiple sections, but, they really all go hand-in-hand.

If we’re gonna remake Sonic, we gotta first decide how Sonic should feel, and who he’s going to appeal to. So, let’s consider what we’re working with first, based on the history of who Sonic has appealed to.

The whole point of Sonic’s young, hip, snarky personality was to appeal to the American youth of the 1990s (kids, teenagers, and young adults), the young, hip, snarky and coolest people around. Sonic sought to identify with these kids by being a little bit ‘edgier’ and ‘cooler’ than most other cartoon characters of his era, but still with the capability to be as cute, wholesome and inherently charming as his competition. Like the perfect little blend of the sarcastic wit of Bugs Bunny and the lovable personability of Mickey Mouse and Felix the Cat.

Many Sonic clones of the 1990s like Bubsy, Aero the Acrobat, and Zero the [CENSORED] Squirrel tried to piggyback off of Sonic in this manner by trying to play up Sonic’s edgy, snarky appeal, but what they lack is that more wholesome, laid back, simple, round and friendly aspects of his design. It’s why Sonic can look like this:

but also like this

like this

but also like this.

It’s why Sonic works so well as a cartoon character in animated shorts and cartoons, as well as an action character in high octane blood pumping action anime, and one of the reasons why I think his design is so appealing. It’s this, this perfect balance between cool superhero and cuddly, wholesome cartoon character that makes Sonic such the iconic character he is.

So what’s the point of me telling you that?

Well, lots of people disagree on what Sonic the Hedgehog’s tone should be, and what audience Sonic should appeal to. Many argue Sonic is a series strictly meant for children, and therefore shouldn’t take any risks and be cutesy, wholesome and bouncy. Others argue Sonic should market itself to teenagers and young adults by pushing its envelope with it’s material and turning itself into a giant melodrama with three-dimensional characters, intertwining relationships and giant, epic Dragon Ball Z style showdowns with blood, guts and the crunching of noses and teeth.

You know what’s popular right now though and seems to have been for a while? A blend of those exact two things.

It sounds dumb but, think about it. Video games and cartoons have been taking this turn toward being a little bit of the best of both worlds. Steven Universe, Undertale/Deltarune, Star Vs. The Forces of Evil, even stuff like Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, that sort of thing.

So, I think a new Sonic reboot should be an Action/Adventure-Comedy. It’s a series about long, lengthy quests and the ongoing war between nature and machine, but it’s also about a quick-witted cartoon character having fun picking on an overconfident evil scientist and his lackeys.

And you know what? I think Sonic is and has shown that this is the environment he flourishes in. Think about why Sonic Mania Adventures and Team Sonic Racing: Overdrive work so well, or why OK KO: Let’s Meet Sonic! is so great! It places Sonic and co. in an environment in which they have the opportunity to be funny and cartoony, but also leaves itself open to lead into more strict action sequences or serious, emotional moments, should it feel the need to. It lets the characters be the characters, without being impeded by everything needed to be babyproofed, but also not interrupted by fanfic-tier melodramatics every 2 and a half minutes. And, considering how much any media featuring Sonic relies on its characters to garner appeal, this is important.

Besides that, this is also important for something I think is going to make this reboot go from good to great.

: ✧･ﾟ: U N I F I C A T I O N ! :･ﾟ✧ :

I’ve said this before in my other essay on how I’d reboot Sonic, but I truly feel that bringing together a lot of different elements of Sonic’s history together for this reboot is a top-notch idea for not only bringing the series back together whilst maintaining a wide appeal but also broaden the scope of potential characters, settings, and plot points we can work with, rather than just limiting it to just the classic era, or just the modern era, it also might leave veteran fans wondering just who or what was going to show up in the next game, or next episode!

Why limit ourselves to just a classic-style series or just a modern-style series? Why not mix it up a little?

Let’s take the cute classic stuff and mix it with some of the cool modern stuff!

I mean of course there’s gonna be purists but, hey, if we have a little bit of both we might just start seeing eye to eye!

So, what does that mean for the audience? Well, I think in that sense, Sonic should be able to appeal to, about anyone, really. Adults, Kids, Teenagers, anyone. It’d be like going to see a Marvel Superhero movie in the theaters or watching Spongebob on TV, yeah, it’d be something kids enjoy, but also something young adults can appreciate too. Although if we absolutely have to stick to a demographic, I’d say the ideal targets for a Sonic the Hedgehog reboot are two groups of people specifically.

Older fans of the series who grew up with the Adventure and Classic games, and Younger people who are more familiar with the modern games. As far as drawing new people or embittered old fans in?... Well, we’ll get to that.

Plot synopsis

It may seem like a no-brainer what the plot of Sonic the Hedgehog is, right? Well, of course it is. It’s been the same for over 20 years, and, I think the premise? Is fine.

“Sonic the Hedgehog is the fastest thing alive and a protector of nature who loves adventure. He’s smarmy and mischevious, but with a heart of gold and an unshakable sense of justice with a can-do attitude. His archnemesis, Dr. Eggman, wants to take over his natural, sprawling home and begin building his planet-conquering empire in its place. It’s up to Sonic and his group of friends to defeat Dr. Eggman, and restore peace to the world, and the green back to the hills.”

This? Right here? This is Sonic the Hedgehog. No matter who you ask, from any branch of the franchises thousand-foot tall family tree, this is Sonic the Hedgehog. There’s a couple of doodads and twists here and there depending on the specific game, but that’s really honestly it when you break it all down, that’s the plot of almost every Sonic game. But this can easily get lost and bogged down between all of the God-summoning and all that shit that other Sonic media does.

So, let’s keep the focus on this, and this alone. Just the ongoing misadventures, setbacks, leaps forward, threats and triumphs between Sonic and Co. and the forces of evil.

...(But let’s add the Chaos Emeralds and Master Emerald, I don’t think I can stand having a Sonic continuity without them and they make for good plot fodder, plus, I’ll be damned if I’m not seeing Super Sonic by the time a series finale or end-of-game hits.)

Setting + Background Lore

So, to set a location, let’s dumb down where Sonic actually lives. (Figuratively anyway, Sonic has no true home, just places he likes to be at any one time.)

In the Genesis days, Sonic lived on a tiny island called South Island, and the game’s settings often took place on South Island or on it’s neighboring islands Westside and Angel Island, and, given how important these old zones, like Green Hill and Chemical Plant Zone, are to the current Sonic Canon, I propose that maybe the setting for this potential reboot takes place on said islands, with one island for each of the cardinal directions on a compass, but also some of the other islands that are included in the Sonic series (as well as some adjusted ones!)

And, as a reference to the days of yore, we could even call it

The Mobius Archipelago

Each of these islands would have their own unique areas (referred to as ‘Zones’ for both nostalgia and convenience’s sake) based on the different levels from Sonic games. I’m unsure of the exact geography of these islands in question, but, you get the idea if you’re at all familiar with the canon, South Island has all the zones from Sonic 1 (16 and 8 Bit), Sonic Chaos and Sonic 2 (8-bit), Westside Island has all the zones from Sonic 2 and a couple from Sonic Mania, Angel Island has all the Zones from Sonic 3 & Knuckles, North Island is essentially a fusion of all the different Eggman Zones (Crystal Egg, Sleeping Egg, Scrap Brain, Metropolis, Eggmanland, Robotropolis, Robotnik Winter, the zones from SegaSonic the Hedgehog, etc.), Flicky’s Island has all of the zones from Sonic 3D Blast, Cocoa Island has all the zones from Tails Skypatrol and Tails Adventure, Mirage Island has all the zones from Sonic 4 and also Never Lake, and Little Planet (and hence all the zones from Sonic CD) you get the idea.

I’m unsure what exactly Eastside Island would have on it, but I figured that Sonic games have so many zones and levels across so many games, surely something would find a nice home on that island, perhaps some of the zones from Sonic Mania, Sonic Blast, maybe even the Adventure games, who knows? But, inevitably, space is going to run out on those other islands and we’ll likely have zones or locations that’ll be good for the series to have.

And then, we also have a mainland sprinkled with City. This is where your Adventure/Modern style cities are, Station Square, City Escape, that sort of thing.

It may not seem like much, considering some Sonic games have settings that span entire planets, but when you think about how many zones are crammed into a few little islands in the genesis titles alone, it’s hardly a limited setting.

The natives of this island chain would be Mobians and Mobini. Mobians are your typical Sonic characters, your Sonics, your Tailses, your Knuckleses, and so on and so forth. They’re the more humanoid animals. Mobini, on the other hand would be all of the smaller animals, the kind that Sonic frees from badniks or are just knockin about doing little woodland creature things. For more information on Mobini, I’ve included a little blip about them in the ‘Side Protagonists’ part of this little shanty ‘pitch guide’.

Humans would live on the mainland, although some researchers and scientists would visit the Archipelago every so often because of it’s mysterious ‘new frontier’ kind of appeal, even if Mobians find their research a little weird.

Generally, Humans also keep to the mainland, and Mobians keep to their islands, but, make no mistake, Mobians and Humans don’t hate each other. Some Mobians and Mobini have taken to the urban lifestyle, whereas some humans have taken to the natural wonder of the Archipelago, starting environmentally friendly cities and towns in the sleepy groves and corners of this untamed wilderness.

This Archipelago would be the point of focus for our Main Characters because, well, it’s their native home, and it’d draw our Main Villains because this island is also home to the Seven Chaos Emeralds, and their Master Emerald.

The Chaos Emeralds are the main MacGuffins of the Sonic series, and for good reason! Gathering all seven of these things grants their holder infinite access to chaos energy, a kind of force that will turn their thoughts into power, whether positive or negative. While most Mobians would prefer to leave the Chaos Emeralds alone, due to them causing, well, chaos, villains seek these gems out on purpose so that they can easier accomplish their goals. However, if a hero were to gather all seven chaos emeralds, and had enough purity, desire for good, and strength in their heart, the emeralds will grant them immense power, too.

Upon a vast amount of energy being used however, the Emeralds will scatter across the Archipelago, waiting for their next holders to come, and initiate chaos once more.

And then, there’s the Master Emerald. The Master Emerald is very similar to the Chaos Emeralds, and contains tenfold the amount of energy of a full set of Chaos Emeralds, but also acts as an on/off switch for the Chaos Emeralds. The Master Emerald can completely drain the Chaos Emeralds of their power, or multiply their power exponentially if one knows how to control it, making the Master Emerald incredibly valuable too. However, villains usually tend to opt for the Chaos Emeralds instead, not only because legends of the Master Emerald are believed to be false, or even if it is real, no one knows how to control it, but the Master Emerald is also said to have a guardian. A very, very angry guardian.

There’s also the lesser-known Time Stones.

The Time Stones reside on Little Planet, an anomalous celestial body that appears only once every year over Never Lake on Mirage Island. These stones seemed to have formed in a similar fashion to the Chaos Emeralds, but rather than bending SPACE to the will of their holders, the Time Stones will instead, bend Time. The Time Stones, for this reason, are even more dangerous than the Chaos Emeralds and are responsible for many of the temporal anomalies within the Archipelago. Due to their danger, the Time Stones see much more infrequent use than the Chaos Emeralds, and keeping them on Little Planet as opposed to bringing them to the surface of the Earth is much safer, as the Time Stones will only seemingly affect the time stream of Little Planet and not the Earth.

The Time Stones won’t matter until later in the series when Sonic and Co. start tampering with time, and for a while, the focus will remain on the Chaos Emeralds and Master Emerald.

But enough about where Sonic lives, let’s look at him and the rest of our colorful main cast, shall we?

Main Protagonists

Hooh, boy I am not gonna make many friends with this decision, am I?

This is kinda where my reboot starts to get a lot little tiny bit more personal, but, I have reasoning behind picking who I pick. The characters I’d pick to be the main protagonists, as in the characters that the viewers of the cartoon series, readers of the comic, or players of the games are going to be:

A) Playing as

B) Rooting for

C) Following throughout most of the adventures.

are as follows:

Sonic the Hedgehog

Miles “Tails” Prower

Knuckles the Echidna

Amy Rose

Mighty the Armadillo

Ray the Flying Squirrel

The first two seem obvious enough, Sonic and Tails are the two spotlight protagonists of most Sonic games and are the two chief playable characters in most games of the Genesis Era. Knuckles should come as no surprise either for the same reason, although I’ll touch on Knuckles later when I assess the protagonists on an individual level.

I chose Amy as one of the leads because, well, Amy frankly hasn’t seen that much time in the sun as a true character, and I feel like that’s a shame given her longevity in the series, being with us ever since CD. Her most complex appearance was in Sonic Adventure 1 and even then, she’s kinda reduced to the same traits as her white-bread, palid, boring, Genesis counterpart. While I would like to have another female character so Amy isn’t a ‘token chick’, I don’t really want to shake up the formula too much.

Mighty and Ray are a little bit different. With the release of Sonic Mania Plus though, I feel that Mighty and Ray are more relevant now than they ever were, and considering their placement as main characters in Mania Plus, I think that we could really benefit from their addition to the main lineup of Sonic’s friends! Sure, Mighty and Ray don’t have much personality, but maybe this is where we can change that and give these lost stars a chance to sparkle as main characters after spending so long in the shadows of the past!

However, I do wanna state, that I understand if some people feel Mighty and Ray are irrelevant. I get that, really, I do. It’s one of the things in this projected reboot that I feel is much more personally appealing to me than it is ‘what I think is best for the Sonic franchise’. Put plain and simple, Mighty and Ray are just... not as popular as other Sonic characters. And, adding these two to the roster of main characters means that the main character count skyrockets from an easily manageable 4 to 6, which can seem like a bit much to some people I’ll agree, and means that they’ll likely see more screentime than other popular protagonist characters like Cream, Silver or even Blaze. But, at the same time, I also feel that if they’re popular enough to be included in Sonic Mania Plus, then there at least is some interest in the fan community of them being relevant, regular characters again. And, what better niche for them to fit into than being two of Sonic’s close friends again while going on adventures with him regularly?

(Side note, I also felt like including Sticks as a main character, and I may come back to that idea later if I end up making any content for this reboot, but as it stands I felt 7 main characters were just a bit too much, although it would’ve been cool to have a character for each Chaos Emerald, and I think there are a lot of real, genuine comedic possibilities, as well as some unique action choreography from her.)

I also don’t think Sonic’s design or the design of his friends need to be changed around too terribly much for a reboot? (Although there are some characters I think could benefit from a rework, but Sonic and MOST of the main characters are okay imo) There’s a lot of contention on Sonic’s design in any sense but, personally? I think Sonic’s designs can actually be pretty well unified, all things considered. I think Sonic could benefit from a few design ADJUSTMENTS, but maybe not a full-scale redesign like Sonic Boom.

For instance, these early concepts for Dreamcast Sonic are an excellent starting place, as I feel they capture the spirit of all three versions of Sonic pretty well all things considered, save for their quills being a little long. the proportions on them are a little off, however, with a couple of adjustments, I think this could actually be a really good idea.

Nendoroid Sonic is also pretty close to what I think a unified Sonic design could look like, if someone held a gun to my head and told me to pick an ideal new design for Sonic, it’d probably be very close to this.

(Credit to JaysonJeanChannel on DA for this render of Nendoroid Sonic.)

Or, even moving back a little bit, “Toei Sonic“, although kind of overrated in my opinion, is a really nice compromise between the cutesy, cartoony nature of the original versions of Sonic, while still updating Sonic to be more obviously sleek, sharp and spring-loaded for his modern audiences, and is full of personality. That’s not to say I think Toei Sonic should be the new face of Sonic the Hedgehog for years to come, but it’d be a great starting point to work from, given that Toei is a version of Sonic suited for intense, rubberhosy, slippery animations.

In the end, the only thing that truly matters is that Sonic looks like Sonic, and not like a weird little blue goblin if the backlash on the first pass of the Sonic Movie is any indication? We shouldn’t try to fix what isn’t broken, I just think that maybe trying out a hybrid between classic and modern Sonic to see how people feel about it might be a nice compromise between those who prefer Classic Sonic vs. those who prefer Modern or Adventure Sonic, again, unification, the best of both worlds.

That being said, let’s have a look-see into each character individually, shall we? For this, I’ll give a name, my projected voice actor for them, and a little blurb about their personality, as well as a short list of their abilities.

I’ll also try to justify my reasons for some stuff that people may consider odd after all of the character bios.

Sonic the Hedgehog:

Voice Actor: Ben Schwartz/James Arnold Taylor

Sonic is heroic, ambitious, and a complete adrenaline junkie. He'll take on any challenge that's given to him in the history of forever, even if absolutely knows it's impossible or he could get hurt trying to do it or he's absolutely not skilled enough at what he's doing to do it. Hence, Sonic is extremely competitive and gets easily absorbed in things he does, even around friends. Sonic tends to not look before he leaps as he's able to get himself out of situations so easily, preferring to live on his feet without thinking too hard about anything, although he's not dumb by any stretch of the imagination and will slow down and strategize if he absolutely needs to, and will always be willing to slow down for someone in need. Sonic is cocky, snarky, and believes a little too much in himself, he has an ego the size of the sun and will do anything he has to protect his image, especially how he views himself. Sonic also has an incredible amount of attitude and makes fun of people he doesn't like or thinks deserve it with insulting nicknames or cruel jokes, often being sarcastic and witty even at the worst of times to be. Although Sonic tries as hard as he can to keep his cool a lot of the time and prefers to live without consequences or regrets on his mind, when he's angry, sometimes he can lash out at people and can become downright completely rude when upset. Sonic is also something of a juvenile delinquent, often breaking rules just because he can or he thinks it's fun or funny, which often gets him into trouble. Sonic EXTREMELY Dislikes being called 'slow' or things being faster than he is (often wanting to prove his mettle against whatever is faster than him even if it hurts him), and has even less patience for slowing down unless he absolutely has to. He hates to wait and hates to be kept waiting, oftentimes getting bored and leaving in mere seconds if a situation doesn't matter that much to him, although he's known to show much, much more patience when people are hurt, or upset, and has an affinity for relaxing for long periods of time with friends after lengthy expeditions and adventures. Sonic hates to see innocent people cry or have their feelings hurt and will often get extremely upset at the cause depending on the person/situation, and believes that any situation he can tend to is important (as he often can do things so quickly it's often no trouble for him.)

Abilities:

Insta-Shield (Allows Sonic to deflect incoming projectiles with precise timing. This also extends Sonic’s hitbox a bit so it can inflict damage, and gives him invincibility frames!)

Wall Jump (Sonic can wall jump, but they need to be timed properly, as when Sonic lands on a wall, he’ll begin to slide, sliding down a wall for too long will cause Sonic to slip and eventually fall.)

Super Spin Dash (Sonic can rev his spin dash up much faster and much more efficiently than other characters, Sonic’s spin dash also has higher maximum propulsion, and will break walls much quicker.)

Super Peel Out

Light Dash (Using the light dash on a trail of rings will allow Sonic to pick up vast amounts of speed instantly by traveling along a trail of rings, being slingshotted out of the trail at an intense speed, the longer the trail of rings is, the faster he’ll be when he comes out of the trail, but also the more vulnerable he’ll be when he’s flung out of the trail. Sonic can also easily reclaim his fallen rings by light dashing, but there’s no guarantee you won’t go flying into the hazard you just tried to avoid when you do.)

Can use the abilities of elemental shields

Miles "Tails" Prower:

Voice Actor: Collen Villard

Tails is Sonic's closest friend. Tails is very intelligent and is something of an amateur technician, roboticist and mechanic, although he specializes in work with aircrafts, small-scale robotics, and computer systems. Frequently he prefers a much slower, methodical approach to problems as opposed to rushing into everything headfirst like Sonic does. Often relies on his intuition over instinct. Tails feels he and Sonic hold a kind of 'mutual responsibility' over each other to keep each other safe, hence Tails keeps Sonic out of trouble or from doing things that are REALLY REALLY stupid, but most of the time, Tails likes to indulge in Sonic's antics with him and even enjoys being kind of silly or being a rebel with him. Tails really looks up to Sonic and wants to have the same kind of respect, cool and wit that he does, however, in doing this, because of his low self-esteem, Tails will often ignore a lot of his more positive traits and attempt to mimic Sonic instead in an effort to seem 'cool', which can really make him do some out-of-place or seemingly strange things at times when he doesn't mean it because he can be a little shy to be himself. Tails is a firmly humble inventor and often attributes his successes to the support of others more often than his own work, and he will not ever invent anything for the purpose of competing with someone or for the sake of jealousy, believing that his best work comes from his heart.

Abilities:

Flying (This would be nerfed significantly from Sonic Mania and S3&K so Tails couldn’t just fly over everything. Tails’ gameplay should encourage exploration in more ways than just one.)

Spin Dash

Tinkering (Allows Tails to reverse conveyor belts, turn off sawblades, and do other shit to help him get through mechanical levels.)

Ring Bomb (Short range projectile at the cost of rings, explodes in a small radius)

Remote Robot (Allows Tails to explore places he can’t otherwise get to at the cost of 1 ring per second)

Knuckles the Echidna:

Voice Actor: Dan Green

The key word to Knuckles is STRESS. Knuckles is the guardian of the Master Emerald, and boy does he take his job seriously, being the very last living Mobian Echidna, and being very in-tune with his family and extended tribe's history. He has an inherent connection with the Master Emerald that allows him to sense it's location, wherever it might be, if this feeling of his is tampered with only slightly, it sends Knuckles into an incredible, panicked rage that can only be quelled by returning the gem to where he left it, or by retrieving the gemstone from whoever stole or moved it. He will only leave the emerald alone for long periods of time once he is one-hundred percent confident no one will touch it or move it (and even then he oftentimes gets worried about it anyway) and hence, interacts with Team Sonic on a more infrequent basis because of this (although he still has plenty of moments dedicated to him.) However, when not guarding the Emerald and forced to loosen up and relax, one can find that Knuckles is rather stoic and full of quote en quote 'sage-advice' (or rather stuff that seems and can be profound but can also be kind of insane ramblings from someone who spends too much time alone with some rock.) He often doesn't understand Sonic's more urban lifestyle, preferring his more traditional, simple 'off the fat of the land' kind of life, but he's surprisingly receptive to new things (unless said new thing gets the emerald stolen of course.) Knuckles is also incredibly suspicious and paranoid of people, even believing people he's close to having the capability of turning on him, and because of this, he's incredibly gullible when it comes to people 'changing' or 'turning evil' or 'wanting to take the Master Emerald', although he's usually smart enough to not fall for the same trick twice... or at least, not for a while after it happens once. Because of his ability to be tricked so easily, and because tricking him often leads to bad things, Knuckles' temper and patience are very short, and very small things easily can make him very upset. Knuckles actually has a weakness for romance, being such a lonely soul, he often gets shy and acts noticeably different (read: Happier) around people that can charm him, but often won't admit it.

Abilities:

Gliding

Climbing

Spin Dash

Burrowing (works sort of like the burrow mechanic from Sonic Adventure 1 and 2, except Knuckles can remain and move underground for a bit to be invincible, although this ability is very limited and cannot be done on metal or synthetic flooring.)

Melee Attacks (Knuckles can punch things in a short range, nuff said.)

Amy Rose:

Voice Actor: Kristen Schaal

Amy is positive, bubbly, loud and honestly kind of a silly airhead sometimes. Although at first, it seems there's very little to her, there's actually a lot more to her than her outward appearance would suggest. Amy tends to not judge people by their looks or by their behaviors, and is very open-minded and emotional, often getting choked up over things she really doesn't need to. Amy is also pretty selfless, willing to help people without any benefit to herself or any reason besides being a good person, although that's not to say she just lets people walk all over her. Amy is also something of a social butterfly, having connections with about everyone anyone else even remotely knows, and can easily tell you all about them and will want you to meet them upon even the mention of their name. Her inherent energy makes her a lot to deal with at once, even people like Sonic, Tails, and Mighty can get tired of her very quickly, even if it's very clear that she means well. She also makes for a great therapist and is willing to help anyone with problems they might be having, even if they push her away at first. However, Amy isn't all the girly girl she seems sometimes and has kind of a violent edge, anyone who pushes her around or says anything bad about her friends is gonna get walloped with her hammer, and believe me, you don't ever quite forget a feeling like being Piko'd by Amy Rose. On this note, Amy also kinda... doesn't know her own strength, and can seem stronger than Knuckles, or even Mighty at times because she just absolutely does not know her limits, expect lots of spine-crushing hugs.

Abilities:

Triple Jump (Amy can jump three times in succession, however, each jump significantly degrades in height boost. Her normal jump will go the highest and her third jump will go the lowest. Because of this ability, Amy also does not spin when she jumps, meaning she can’t defeat Badniks or damage enemies by jumping on them, she won’t take damage from bouncing on them, it just won’t destroy them.)

Hammer Smash (A mid-range melee attack that will destroy most enemies instantly.)

Hammer Spin (Both an Aerial attack to make up for the fact Amy can’t spin jump and a dash attack to make up for the fact Amy can’t spin dash.)

Peel Out (Functions similarly to the peel out in Sonic Advance or Sonic 2: Pink Edition, replaces the Spin Dash.)

Mighty the Armadillo:

Voice Actor: Beck Bennett/Travis Willingham

Mighty is one of Sonic's oldest friends and is his foil in a lot of ways. He prefers to take his time with a lot of things and doesn't really mind going slow. Mighty is something of a 'meathead', he's naive, and kinda absentminded at times, even if he doesn't mean to be. Mighty is very strong and takes incredible pride in his abilities much like Sonic. He adores his own strength and quote en quote 'manliness' and will do anything to keep his ego inflated and his muscles bigger than everyone else's' (as opposed to Knuckles who views his strength as a humble reward for his years of training). Despite this, he has a very brotherly (read: dudebro) sense of personality though and likes to call people 'bro' and 'sis', and has a habit of saying 'not cool' when things don't go right or when people wrong him. Most of the time, Mighty's slow and naive ways can make him easily influenced into believing things (like conspiracies and the idea protein powder actually does things), and he's not afraid to speak his mind, often coming off as insensitive (which is how he got kicked out of Team Chaotix), when really, he just doesn't happen to know any better, although most of the time he really does mean well. Mighty also really likes to hear himself talk, oftentimes telling long-winded stories or going on long-winded rants or explanations. He tends to butt heads with Sonic and Knuckles, who get annoyed sometimes by his easygoing, borderline dim-witted nature, oftentimes reminding him of obvious things that are happening/have happened. However, Mighty greatly cares for his friends, and the one thing he absolutely will never bend on is he will not ever hurt someone who didn't do him wrong, and despite his naivety, Mighty's incredible sense of justice always triumphs over his unassuming nature. He's also Ray's best friend and will defend Ray over any other person.

Abilities:

Natural Armor (Allows Mighty to take one free hit from spikes, and defeat spiked enemies without being harmed. If a projectile hits Mighty while he’s spinning or jumping, the projectile will bounce off of his armor. This is only while Mighty is spinning, attacks from the back or while Mighty is running will still land.)

Hammer Drop (A ‘stomp’ attack that allows Mighty to crush most Badniks instantly, and will also instantly crush breakable objects and solid blocks much faster than other characters.)

Spin Dash

Mighty Arm (If Mighty presses an action button near an enemy, monitor or breakable item, Mighty will pick it up. While picking something up, Mighty will move slower and his jump will be downgraded, but he can throw the item to deal heavy damage to whatever it hits! And, picking up certain enemies or items may just come with some surprises!)

Super Wall Jump (Mighty can wall-jump much like Sonic, but upon sticking to the wall, Mighty will hang there, and will only slide down at the player’s discretion.)

Ray the Flying Squirrel:

Voice Actor: Debi Derryberry

Ray is neat, quiet, shy, easily disturbed and has a bit of a stutter to his voice. Ray tends to be sort of asocial compared to other members of Team Sonic and prefers not to get in the way if he thinks he's being a bother. However, despite this, Ray is much smarter than he might seem and has a level of resourcefulness to a point that even trumps Tails (who is much more intelligent) at times. Despite being so shy and cowardly, when he gets the chance, Ray is more than willing to do whatever it takes for the greater good, even if he's afraid to do so. Mighty is his best friend, and he gets obsessively worried about Mighty when he's not around, often worrying that he's wandered off or might have been hurt, kidnapped, etc. this often leads to Ray trying to find his friend or panicking that he's 'gone missing', even if Mighty was right under his nose the whole time, ironic, given his intuition and incredibly eagle-eyed nature. Much like Mighty as well, Ray can also be a little bit naive, although usually less so than Mighty himself.

Abilities:

Soaring (Ray will glide and can sweep upwards to gain height at a cost of speed, but also dip downwards to gain speed at a cost of height.)

Lite-Climbing (Ray can climb, and he can climb much faster than Knuckles, but players will need to position themselves carefully, as Ray can’t climb forever, and will eventually slip and fall, the more speed Ray has when Ray collides with the wall, the faster and longer he can climb it.)

Scout-Sense (Ray is able to detect hidden items nearby like Giant Rings, 1up Monitors, and power-ups, once Ray moves close enough to an item, an exclamation point will appear above his head, and the item he notices will be outlined in yellow.)

Dismantle (With similar timing to Sonic’s insta-shield, Ray can choose to land on a badnik instead of destroying it (even if he lands on something like a Shellcracker’s claw or Bubbles when spiked out), and he will begin to unscrew the badnik until it breaks. This rewards Ray with rings or more hidden items, and can make tricky badniks like Asteron and Shellcracker more bearable to deal with! This also works on bosses, except dismantling a boss will only cause a hit of damage to the boss, although Ray can stay latched on to deal multiple hits of damage if he isn’t knocked off!)

Hookay, if you’re not winded by all those character bios, let me try to explain some of my reasoning. I won’t be doing this with later characters because this post is already the size of a fucking dump truck, but, here we go anyway.

Yes. I chose Ben Schwartz over Roger Craig Smith and Jason Griffith for Sonic. No. I don’t hate Jason Griffith or Roger Craig Smith’s voices for Sonic. Yes, I realize Ben is going to play Sonic in the Movie. I know. But, you know what? I think Ben is the perfect person to play Sonic, he’s able to inflect a real smarmy teenager vibe and I DO like that a LOT. But Ben can also play a deeper or moodier teenager too, and I feel like that’s important for Sonic’s character just as much. Jason Griffith and Roger Craig Smith make a 15-year-old sound like he’s 24. Moving on.

I think Sonic needs to not be such a prep sometimes like he is in Colors, Generations, and Forces. Like, I get that Sonic is all about doing the right thing, but, Sonic is also a smarty-pants delinquent who disrespects authority because he can. There’s this great video on the design analysis of City Escape from Sonic Adventure 2 that shows just how much of a jerk Sonic is toward people he doesn’t care for, and how he feels about obeying rules and regulations. I feel being an asshole toward people he doesn’t like, is part of Sonic’s character, it’s just we need to make him an asshole in the right direction. Sonic can be a Bugs Bunny if we let him, it’s just that it shouldn’t be completely overblown... otherwise, we get STC Sonic.

Tails needs to do more things, and not sit on the sidelines like he does in Unleashed, Colors, and Forces. He does things in Sonic Adventure and Sonic Boom, hence this version of Tails is based more on those versions OF Tails. I don’t hate Unleashed and Colors Tails, but I feel the objectively superior version of Tails comes more from Boom (who I also feel captures all of the good things about Modern Tails ANYWAY) and Adventure (which is Tails at his most resourceful, intelligent and helpful.)

Knuckles needs to be not stupid. We can make other characters stupid, but Knuckles is not stupid, Mania made Knuckles stupid and I hate that because it’s never been who Knuckles is. Sure, he’s a bit of a dense knucklehead, but he’s not dumb, just dense, which is my problem with Boom Knuckles. There’s more to his reasons for why he does things the way he does than he doesn’t know better. He’s stubborn, he’s prone to anger, he’s traditional and very much centered on the past he never had, he worries, he panics. I don’t think Boom Knuckles is a bad character, I just think making KNUCKLES the character to get this personality was kind of a bad idea.

Amy just needs a better-developed personality. Seriously, she’s, already kinda set in stone in terms of who she is, it just needs to be expanded upon. But, Amy kinda already has the groundwork laid out for her with Boom and Modern, it’s just it needs to be molded a little bit.

Mighty comes from the classic era, and he, therefore, has no real, defining personality traits besides being a wall-jumping armadillo. I think Mighty could easily inherit Boom Knux’s personality, (as I feel a character named ‘Mighty’ would have kind of a strongman, meathead personality) but maybe changed up a bit. Instead of being just, dumb, I think Mighty being more oblivious than just stupid is better, plus, at any one time, most of the characters in-game or onscreen are able to deduce what’s going on instantly, having Mighty be a contrast to that is interesting. I also think a slow, easygoing lifestyle is kinda befitting to the Mighty we’ve seen recently, given that he doesn’t seem to emote all that much when Ray finally finds him after he’s been missing for, well, a good while, and doesn’t seem to know his own strength all the time. The only other information I know about Mighty is that he doesn’t like to fight all that much and he’s similar to Sonic, so I tried to include aspects of Sonic in his personality, but also make him kind where he can be.

If Ray’s SegaSonic sprites are anything to go by, Ray just might be a little bit of a scaredy-cat. And, I think this would make for an interesting dynamic between Ray and the rest of the team, he’d make a nice Luigi to everyone’s Mario, a character who is afraid, but willing to set aside his fears for the greater good and even for himself. He’d also be #relatable to the stressed-out teenage and young adult audience he’d be appealing to.

Side Protagonists

Here are my choices for side-protagonists in this reboot. These are ‘friendly characters’, characters that the main 6 characters regularly interact with, but are just not focused on as much. These characters would probably not be playable (except for Silver and Blaze MAYBE.)

The Mobini

Espio the Chameleon

Charmy Bee

Vector the Crocodile

Cream the Rabbit (and Cheese the Chao)

Big the Cat (and Froggy)

Silver the Hedgehog

Blaze the Cat

Now, I know what you’re thinking.

wHerE’s TeaM DaRK?!

Just, chill out..., okay? I’ll get to Team Dark in a minute.

I’d also like to clarify if this became a series, Silver and Blaze are probably not going to become relevant characters until much LATER in? I feel like Silver and Blaze should be saved for a very specific time in the reboot’s continuity and I’ll explain that later when we get into how I’d set this series’s continuity up, but there’s a very specific reason why I want to save Silver and Blaze for when the time is right, not because I hate Silver and Blaze, but because I think it’d make the most sense.

I also feel like the Chaotix should appear a lot more and play more of an active role in this new hypothetical reboot than they do in most modern Sonic games... and let’s make them a team of vigilantes instead of detectives. A team of vigilantes that uses TEAMWORK!... And combi-rings!

...Oh and while we’re here, let’s make Cheese a Hero Chao, mkay?

But enough talk about general things! Let’s dive into each of them individually!

The Mobini:

Voice Actor: Various, it’s likely mobini won’t need voices so much as varying sound effects.

The Mobini are the local, native, feral fauna of the world of this new Sonic reboot, all your normal birds, insects, lizards, fish, mammals, et cetera are all Mobini. Mobini, are mysterious creatures, as they harbor an inherent connection to the Chaos Emeralds, and are believed to contain small fractions of the Emeralds’ infinite energy. The Mobini are what first drew Dr. Eggman to the Archipelago in which South Island resides, as with this small portion of infinite energy within them, they can be used as organic batteries to power machines indefinitely!... Although this makes them very unhappy. Contrary to what you may think, Mobini are actually sentient, and remember friendly faces... and unfriendly ones too, so be kind! If you’re ever in trouble or lost in the sprawling forests of the Mobius Archipelago, Mobini may just be able to help you out. The most curious kind of Mobini are Flickies, small little birds native to Flicky’s Island and South Island (although they’ve seemed to branch out more recently), who are said to have an even closer connection to the Emeralds, and can even hold a super form! The phenomenon of Super Flickies is incredibly rare, but when it happens, Super Flickies will be more than willing to lend their power to someone who needs it.

Chao are a special type of genetically unstable Mobini that have no ‘Earthly’ counterpart. From the time a Chao is born to the time they pass away, a Chao will gain the traits of its parent, it’s friends, and or it’s caregiver. This makes Chao ideal pets, as their personality will adapt to suit their owner, this makes Chao not only incredibly diverse but surprisingly intelligent. Just be kind to Chao... you don’t want to know what kind of horror being unkind to these little creatures can lead to.

Espio the Chameleon:

Voice Actor: Phil LaMarr

The de-facto leader of the Chaotix, and the most responsible of the team, Espio is a lot quieter than most of the main cast, and much prefers the sound of a rushing, serene stream over loud, punchy rock music. With a powerful, free-flowing fighting style inspired by martial arts, Espio is an honorable fighter, believing only in fighting fair and straight and without exploiting an opponent’s extreme weaknesses. While he tends to be sort of reclusive and becomes easily annoyed by the antics of the Chaotix and Team Sonic, he’s a lot more unshakable than he looks, and actually kind of likes the excitement from time to time. He also has a long, sticky tongue which he happens to be embarrassed by, but sees more use as a tool than he’d like to admit. Espio will often dictate his mood or state of mind to people by changing his color.

Espio’s weapons of choice are giant shuriken, which he seems to be able to pull out of hammerspace.

Abilities:

Color changing

Partial Invisibility (Espio can cloak himself to appear invisible, as long as he stands still and isn’t connected to anything. This ability sees more frequent use when Espio is alone, as it doesn’t really apply much when he fights with his team.)

Combi-Ring Fighting Style

Tornado Spin (Similar to Sonic’s Spin Dash, except Espio spins horizontally instead of vertically, the tornado spin is very slow compared to the Spin Dash, but it’s just as deadly.)

Tongue (Much like Yoshi, Espio’s tongue can be used to grapple onto things with a surprising amount of force, either to pull them toward Espio, or Espio can ‘tongue punch’ things. He hates to do this.)

Charmy Bee:

Voice Actor: Sam Lavagnino (Ideally anyway, I understand if he’d be unable to, but imagine it! Catbug as Charmy Bee!)

A ‘junior member’ of the Chaotix, Charmy is a little bee in training to become a vigilante! However, he’s a little too excited about that fact sometimes. He’s meant to be cute and lovable, but also a realistic child fighting against things he probably shouldn’t be fighting against. It’s hard to hate him when he means so well though and tries his very best at anything he does. In this new reboot, Charmy also gains a small affliction toward electricity!

Abilities:

Flight (no duh.)

Combi-Ring Fighting Style (Charmy is surprisingly adept at carrying his fellow Chaotix members around with a Combi-Ring in hand, with Charmy around this can make for some high-octane, high-momentum fighting due to Charmy being so lightweight and quick.)

Volt Sting (Charmy can use his stinger, and believe me, it hurts. Fortunately, Charmy can sting more than once! and his sting will deliver an electric shock to anything it touches, this is bad news for anything mechanical, or wet!)

Thunder Shoot (Charmy can instantly ground any flying enemy by electrifying an ally and tossing them at the flying enemy!)

Vector the Crocodile:

Voice Actor: Keith Silverstein (Although I’m open to someone else if everyone else if sick of FIND THE COMPUTER ROOM!)

The Chaotix’s greedy, but fiercely defensive ‘leader’ (he’s able to make tough decisions a lot better than Espio, but he isn’t very responsible in many ways). Vector got into the whole vigilante business because of the money he could gain from it, but after meeting Charmy and Espio, his whole world changed, and the rough-and-tough reptile has found a new calling, being a leader. Although Vector is often harsh, blunt, and dismissive, he’s also incredibly resourceful and has an eye for small details, so if he does push you away, it’s likely because he has a hunch on something related to it.

Abilities:

Air Dash (Vector can dash in any direction while in the air. This does not protect him from harm.)

Death Roll (Vector’s trademark donut-like Spin Dash, it’s a bit less controllable than a traditional Spin Dash but it’s immensely powerful because of Vector’s spiked back.)

Combi-Ring Fighting Style (Vector specializes in a ‘wrecking ball’ sort of display with his fighting style, performing a Death Roll followed by his opponents flinging him into something by way of Thunder Shoot or Espio’s speed.) Vector can also achieve the same effect by flinging Charmy or Espio into an opponent, or by ‘holding’ (think Knuckles Chaotix) them.

Fire Combination + Volcanic Dunk* (While Espio is tornado spinning and Charmy is spinning as well, Vector can grab the both of them to make ‘fighting gloves’ of sorts. With this, Vector can perform the Volcanic Dunk, in which he turns Espio and Charmy into powerful fireballs which can smash into enemies to deal tremendous damage!)

*Yes I know this is what Team Sonic uses in Sonic Heroes but do you honestly want Vector Breath to be something that’s regularly used?

Cream the Rabbit (and Cheese the Chao):

Voice Actor: Michelle Ruff (I’d list a voice actor for Cheese too but... do I HAVE to? Chao can be easily voiced with stock squeaks or Chao sounds from SA2.)

A pleasant little girl who seems to get caught up in the ongoing war between Sonic and the forces of evil. Like Charmy, she’s a kid, although Cream is much more patient and polite than Charmy. Cream in this reboot would sorta fill the niche that Tails filled in SatAM, rarely going on adventures, but looking up to the main cast and always being ready to support them in times of need.

Abilities:

Flapping (Cream can flap her ears to gain a little extra height, although it’s made very clear this isn’t exactly equal to Tails’ flight and is very limited.)

Cheese (Cream can sic Cheese on anything she wants, although Cheese isn’t very tough, he’ll do his best until he’s knocked away!)

Big the Cat (and Froggy):

Voice Actor: Jon St. John

Big is large, and not very bright, even less so than Mighty. But he’s terrifyingly strong, he may just be one of the strongest characters in this new reboot in terms of raw damage output, probably second only to Omega actually. But, Big’s not a fighter and prefers to spend his days by the lakeside, fishing with his companion Froggy.

Unbeknownst to him, though, Froggy harbors a dark secret, and, in fact, is the current owner of the tail of the ancient God of Destruction, Chaos. How Froggy exactly came upon Chaos’ tail is unknown, but it’s gotten Big and Froggy into trouble before.

Abilities:

Super Strength

Fishing Sense (Big can sense what kind of fish or how many fish, or even foreign objects or other animals are in bodies of water. It’s unknown how he does or knows this, but he does.)

Silver the Hedgehog:

Voice Actor: Scott Menville

Silver is from an alternate future, a long-forgotten timeline in which Robotnik succeeded in conquering the world, But his massive cities and factories were later laid waste to by the sands of time, and ancient forces of nature, throwing the future Silver resides within into complete Crisis. And now, filled with a sense of vengeance and justice, Silver has come back to the past, determined to find the one responsible for whoever did this to his future, but... there’s just a couple problems.

He’s only fourteen years old.

Silver is also rather bright-eyed and gullible, and him messing with the streams of time might have a bigger domino effect than he realizes, even if he has no intention of messing anything up.

Abilities:

Psychokinesis (Silver can move, and throw objects with his mind. Silver’s telekinesis is limited only by his focus and stress, as if Silver gets too stressed, he may release some of the objects he’s holding, the same goes for if he becomes unfocused. Using said telekinesis can make Silver very physically exhausted though, especially if Silver moves HIMSELF with his mind, which he can do to hover in the air for a while. Objects held by Silver will freeze, suspended in whatever state they were in when Silver grabbed them, and the objects Silver holds are denoted by a cyan aura.)

Psychic Knives (Silver can condense his energy into crescent-shaped blades of energy, which he can fire off at his discretion, again, only limited by his physical exhaustion)

Teleportation (Silver has the limited ability to teleport short distances, although he doesn’t seem to have a very good handle on it, as he often messes up his positioning and seems to almost... forget he can do it?)

Blaze the Cat:

Voice Actor: Tara Strong

Like Silver, Blaze is from an alternate future. Blaze is Silver’s best friend, but also kind of a sisterly figure to him. Blaze is older than Silver, and is much more reserved, mature and wary than Silver is, although she’s still more than happy to help Silver, and ensure a good future for both him and herself. Blaze is proud, trying to make the best out of her situation by trying and believing herself to be the best around, in a way, she sort of views Silver more like a sidekick, even if Silver does tend to pull his weight.

Abilities:

Pyrokinesis (Blaze can summon, control and is immune to fire. Her ability to do so is limited, although her fires are known to become more intense whenever Blaze is enraged. Blaze can use her fire either for offense by spraying jets of flame from her hands, or defensively by cloaking her entire body in flame, or using the power of fire to float for short periods of time.)

Tornado Spin (Like Espio, Blaze tends to spin horizontally rather than vertical, this, combined with her pyrokinesis, makes her incredibly fearsome to deal with.)

Main Antagonists

You know what the fuck’s going on already. These are all my picks for Major Villains in the reboot. The big bads. The guys who are gonna come in and try to take all those Chaos Emeralds and Time Stones and shit I was talking about and wreak havoc on the peaceful Mobius Archipelago.

They are as follows:

Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik

Orbot and Cubot

Metal Sonic

Heavy King (And the Hard-Boiled Heavies)

Great Battle Bird Kukku XV

Chaos

Emerl

Mephiles, Iblis, and Solaris

In the end, it was hard to decide on what villains to choose to be big bads, Sonic has so many good ones, but this is what it all bled down to eventually. I feel kinda like Dragon Ball Z or... like, any fucking action anime or cartoon ever tbh. I wanted to give some more underrated villains a chance to shine like Kukku and Emerl, while also bringing back some old favorites like Chaos and Mephiles.

...ALSO, I’M GONNA GET TO TEAM DARK DON’T WORRY!

Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik:

Voice Actor: Mike Pollock (as if there were any other choice.)

Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik is the biggest bad in this reboot, as he should be. Robotnik was formerly a young, gentleman scientist, who arrived on South Island with his colleague, Dr. Madonna to study the Mobini that lived there, however, using the grant money meant for his research, and not much caring about nature himself, Robotnik instead betrayed Dr. Madonna to begin forging an empire with his own two hands, an Empire he believed would eventually be able to conquer the world. And he would’ve gotten away with it, too... if all not for a meddlesome blue hedgehog child, who REALLY liked to compare the doctor to an egg. Since his first outing against the blue blur, Dr. Robotnik tried tirelessly, day and night, to get his empire up and into the air, coming back with bigger, and better firepower each time, even succeeding in conquering South Island and collecting six of the seven chaos emeralds at one point, but he was thwarted by this blue hedgehog, and later, his friends each time. This war has gone on for over 5 years now chronologically and maybe more in the actual scheme of things, and all those years of trying have really quite nipped at the doctor, who had gained a significant amount of weight, became a social pariah and had torn all his hair out, save for his mustache, which has overgrown and has become frayed, and the doctor had taken the name ‘Eggman’ as a shallow attempt to mock the blue blur. It’s not to say that Eggman hasn’t succeeded, his conquest and lust for power had bled everywhere, his Badniks, a series of small robots built by him, are an epidemic across the archipelago, he has factories, operations, and eyes everywhere, and Robotnik eventually succeeded in taking one of the Archipelago's many islands for his own, renaming what was once ‘North Island’ into ‘Eggmanland’, this little island is only a twisted glimpse into the madness of what a world under the doctor’s control could look like, his own personal carnival of evil, smog and dust, celebrating him, and only him. It’s these little successes, as well as his never-ending stubbornness and undying believe that man can and will always triumph over nature, that has warped Dr. Eggman from a nefarious, dashing gentleman, into a balding, crazed, nasty old coot. If trouble’s brewing on the islands, and you smell smog wafting by, you can be assured Dr. Eggman isn’t very far behind. To call him a ‘mad scientist’ is an understatement, but even through his delusions and megalomania, he really is a genius.

Orbot and Cubot:

Voice Actors: Kirk Thornton, Wally Wingert

Orbot and Cubot are the Doctor’s trusted aides and second-in-lines, and... probably the Doctor’s only friends as of current. Orbot and Cubot have special AI hand-crafted by the doctor and are arguably his most advanced and most sentient creations crafted by his own two hands. Orbot is serious, intelligent, and bitingly sarcastic, as he was meant to relay information about factories, schemes, and developments back to Eggman, whereas Cubot is dim-witted, slow, and lazy, as he was more meant to perform basic duties like keeping Robotnik’s living space neat and tidy (although he doesn’t always do the best job at this.) However, Orbot and Cubot have become more than that as time has gone on. Unlike the Modern games, Orbot and Cubot can actually hold their own in combat... well, sort of. They have their own unique ‘Scratch and Grounder’ style of dealing with Sonic and Co. and they don’t usually make much progress or get much done in this regard. In this reboot I want Orbot and Cubot’s designs to be updated besides being just ‘ball’ and ‘cube’ so that they can fight alongside Eggman and just look a lot more interesting in general.

Metal Sonic:

Voice Actor: Ben Schwartz (with an intense, robotic filter) if we HAVE to give him a voice. I’d really just prefer Metal to be silent or voiced by music cues and sound effects.

Metal Sonic is Dr. Eggman’s greatest creation. Designed and built by a Dr. Eggman from the future, Metal was sent back in time to aid the Eggman of the past, this, however, proved to be a mistake, as with Metal under his belt, the Doctor became easily overconfident in his victory, thinking now that he had his supposed greatest creation to aid him, nothing could possibly stop him.

Which made it all the more disappointing when Metal Sonic inevitably failed and was defeated by Sonic.

However, that wasn’t the end of it for Metal Sonic, after being recovered from the future on Little Planet, Metal was repaired, and sent to do reconnaissance on Sonic and Tails during their visit to Mirage Island. In the process of getting there, however, Metal absorbed an artifact while patrolling around the Lost Labyrinth Zone, which superseded the limits of Metal’s hardware, and not only restored Metal to his former greatness but gave Metal something that few of Eggman’s creations can ever claim to have. True sentience.

Now fully aware of who he was, and what he was doing, Metal easily made it to Sonic and Tails, and upon seeing his organic counterpart for the first time in so long ever since their duel on Stardust Speedway, Metal was filled with rage. Rage, unlike anything The Mobius Archepeligo had ever seen.

The artifact has given Metal all sorts of mysterious abilities, like the ability to manifest a near-indestructible shield, the power to harness the electricity flowing through his circuits to send himself into overdrive and utilize his own overloading as a weapon, and along with being a creation of a Dr. Eggman who has seen the fall of the Earth...

Who knows what kind of sadistic, inhuman thoughts lie behind those synthetic, glowing eyes?

Abilities:

Hyperspeed Thrusters (Metal’s thrusters easily make him as fast as Sonic, and, like Sonic, Metal can still spin, although Metal can also fly with his thrusters.)

Black Shield (Metal can form a defense matrix around him using the power of the artifact he absorbed in Lost Labyrinth, the Black Shield is completely indestructible. Nothing can break through it. Not even something as powerful as Super Sonic could even crack it.) The only caveat is, using the Black Shield renders Metal completely immobile, and unable to attack, and it has a slight warmup and cooldown period.)

Overdrive (Metal can use the artifact he absorbed to utilize the electricity flowing through his circuits to send himself into Overdrive. While in overdrive, Metal Sonic’s entire body sparks with electricity, and Metal can manipulate how he uses that electricity, whether it’s to cloak himself in sparks to beef up his physical attacks or create pillars of sparks and arcs of electricity to attack foes from a distance. The only thing is, Metal cannot do this too much, as doing this can easily cause Metal to overheat, or completely overload and have a ‘blowout’... in other words, explode.)

Heavy King:

Voice Actor: Jim Cummings (Yes, I know Jim did SATAM Robotnik but that’s not the voice I’m imagining for Heavy King. Jim can do more than just Robotnik you know, even though my decision was partially influenced by it being a nice callback. Again, these voice actors are only projections.)/Barry Humphries

Heavy King used to be EggRobo, a robot (which later became a line of Robots) built in the image of Dr. Eggman himself and meant to serve as a decoy for him, and as a stand-in to carry out his own ends.

But the energy of the Phantom Ruby changed that.

Now, Heavy King is the leader of an elite squadron of his EggRobo brethren known as the Hard-Boiled Heavies. They used to serve Robotnik, before breaking free of his control and serving their own ends, beginning a new (albeit, much, much smaller) empire under their own names. He and the other heavies are a force to be reckoned with, few are able to match the ruthless, cold, metallic hand of Heavy King. Despite this, however, Heavy King is known to be much more diplomatic and reasonable than Robotnik, ironically enough, because he believes himself to be vastly superior in every way to organic life. However, his inflated ego pays a steep price if you catch him at the wrong time. However, Heavy King is the current holder of the Phantom Ruby, and that alone should scare you.

(Also I won’t go over each of the Heavies individually because I don’t feel like it, but, I will list their voice actors.)

Heavy Gunner: Patrick Warburton... or at least a cheap impression of him.

Heavy Rider: Eliza Schneider

Heavy Magician: Alexia Khadime

Heavy Shinobi: Seth Green (I picture Shinobi having much more of a nerdy weeb voice than having a serious Japanese accent like Espio.)

Great Battle Bird Kukku XV

Voice Actor: Tom Kenny

A lesser-known big bad, or rather, big bird, Great Battle Bird Kukku XV (he gets upset if you don’t say the full name), is the leader of the Battle Bird Empire, a battalion of birds who, at one point, sought to take over the archipelago in a similar manner to Dr. Eggman, however, Great Kukku XV was thwarted by Tails. Tails, funnily enough, doesn’t remember him at all, in fact, no one does. As a villain, hardly anyone takes Great Kukku XV very seriously, even with his massive armies and capability. Fact is, Great Kukku XV is just a little too immature to be a leader, and hence, he’s not very dangerous. However, his battalion did give rise to a certain, screwy, trigger happy, fellow green bomb-throwing bird who happens to be a defector of his...

In this reboot, there would probably be a lot of jokes about people not knowing who Great Kukku even is, or how dangerous he is, but don’t worry, he’ll get his time in the sun eventually.

Chaos

Voice Actor: N/A, Chaos only speaks in water sloshes.

Chaos is one of the many original forces of nature that populated the Archipelago many years ago. Legend has it that Chaos was responsible for the mass extinction of the Echidna on Angel Island, and was the one responsible for flooding Hydrocity Zone, and the former Hidden Palace Zone. Chaos was formed when a Chao, who happened to be very old and unhappy due to the Echidna tribes of the day treating his people very unfairly, mutated due to the exposure of Chaos Energy to the Chao’s genetically unstable body. Chaos is a being of pure hate and pure destruction. It’s almost entirely composed of a thick, water-like substance that can take on liquid or solid properties at Chaos’ discretion. His body hungers for Chaos Energy, and he is willing to destroy anything that stands in his way to have it, specifically by absorbing the Chaos Emerald. With each emerald Chaos absorbs, Chaos only becomes bigger, and stronger, becoming harder and harder to defeat. And if Chaos gathers all Seven of the Emeralds? You’d better hope you can find some way to calm this Great Old One down, otherwise, your world may just end up underwater. Luckily, Chaos was sealed inside of the Master Emerald by its former guardian, Tikal, and there he shall remain... for now, at least.

Emerl

Voice Actor: Various (copies the voices of others. To speak it splices lines that it’s heard together.)

Originally created directly to counter Chaos whilst the Echidna tribes were facing extinction, Emerl is a Gizoid, a kind of Robot created to copy the physical data of others. Although one can initially defeat Emerl pretty easily, it’s advised not to vary your tactics too much, as Emerl’s original purpose, and his ultimate capability, is to copy any behavior he’s seen, in order to not only replicate it, but replicate it better, and hence, conquer its original user. Terrifyingly, Emerl can even copy phenomenon that he otherwise wouldn’t, or shouldn’t be able to use, such as Chaos Control, Sonic’s Maximum Speed, or Tails’ intellect. The only thing truly limiting Emerl... is the kind of opponents he faces. And, if you give Emerl to someone who understands him and knows how he works, you may just be dealing with one of the most fearsome fighters the Mobius Archepeligo has ever known.

Mephiles, Iblis and Solaris

Voice Actor: Dan Green (Mephiles only) (This is just because Dan also voices Knuckles ideally but, again, if Dan doesn’t wanna come back to Sonic after being replaced, I understand that.)

If Chaos was the patron saint of water, Solaris is the patron saint of fire. Born from a sacred flame created by the Echidna, Solaris was worshipped by the surviving Echidna as a force that could potentially vanquish Chaos, as the ‘’sun’ to dry the rain. However, the tribes’ malicious intents caused their newly formed ‘God’ to become more of a beast, and it only helped Chaos in driving the Echidna extinct. Solaris later retreated to the bottom of the ocean after all was said and done, slumbering beneath the surface in an underground cave, in a damaged, unstable state.

Solaris has re-awoken twice since this has happened, and both times, his unstable shell split and formed two halves, it’s raw power, known as Iblis, and it’s mind, and spirit, known as Mephiles. The two halves of Solaris first re-awoke in an Alternate Timeline where Robotnik had conquered the world, re-awakening as the folly of the dictator had driven the Sun God’s split soul to awaken when the intense greenhouse heat began to boil the ocean. Mephiles’ primordial form simply died off in the intense heat, but Iblis remained awake, laying waste to the already horrible wasteland that was Robotnik’s Bad Future. Many survivors who reside within this future came to blame Iblis for their problems, even though Robotnik was what had destroyed it centuries earlier.

As for the other time The soul and body of Solaris re-awoke?...

Well... we’ll get to that. Let’s come back to someone I’m sure you’re all waiting for.

Antiheroes

HERE HE IS, OKAY? YOU HAPPY? I was saving him for a good reason! I actually want Shadow (and Rouge, to an extent, she kinda keeps her evil side tbh) to start out as a big bad! After Shadow’s done BEING a big bad though, he’ll become similar to his post-adventure 2 self, specifically how he behaves in Sonic 06 and Sonic Heroes, except with a bit more sympathy. Modern Shadow has a lot of brooding, edgy bite to him, and while that’s cool and all, I feel like there should be more to Shadow than just brooding and standing around crossing his arms and saying ‘tch’ all the time.

Shadow the Hedgehog

Shadow the Hedgehog:

Voice Actor: Anyone that’s not Kirk Thornton. I actually don’t have a good answer for who Shadow’s voice actor should be but, honestly, anything would be better than his current one in my honest opinion.

Shadow was synthesized fifty years ago on a small, man-made satellite called the Space Colony ARK by the brilliant scientist Dr. Gerald Robotnik. He was born from a desire to find a cure for the seemingly incurable disease for his granddaughter, Maria. However, due to an accident when splicing the genes of the quill of a Mobian Hedgehog, and experimental biomaterial found on the fragments of an asteroid that collided with the Earth millions of years ago, the doctor accidentally created something he absolutely didn’t intend, Life. And thus, Project Shadow was born. Gerald felt attached to his creation, viewing the resulting creation, which he called ‘Shadow’ as one of his own. Shadow developed rapidly, quickly maturing into an infant, and then juvenile, yet seemingly normal Mobian Hedgehog. Shadow’s equivalent age later capped once Shadow was done growing, and he remained that way, immortally perfect. The Ultimate Lifeform. Tests with Shadow later showed his destructive capabilities, as it seemed the asteroid’s DNA had morphed Shadow to be far beyond the capabilities of any normal Hedgehog, even in peak physical condition at that age, capable of creating explosions, firing bolts of energy, and even freezing time, appearing to ‘teleport’ in the process. Despite these curiosities, Shadow grew fond of Maria in his stay at the ARK, although Shadow couldn’t help her recover, he did make her much happier. However, a raid on the Space Colony by the mainland’s military led to a massive capsizing of the project, with the intention to destroy Shadow, who was viewed as a dangerous, alien, unholy abomination. Before he could be killed though, Maria shot Shadow down to Earth in an escape pod, where he subsequently landed deep in the jungles of Cocoa Island... but, Maria was murdered in the process of doing so. Shadow was later recovered by Gerald’s other grandson, Ivo Robotnik, 50 years after the tragedy. Hesitant to release Shadow immediately, it’s known that Robotnik has spoken to Shadow in his pod, although about what matters is unknown. For now, Shadow slumbers deep within the confines of Eggmanland, waiting for his proper, strategic time to be unleashed and to wreak his horrible vengeance upon the Earth.

I’ll bring up Shadow again later when we talk about how I project the series to actually go, for now, just sit tight and let’s talk about the rest of Team Dark... and some familiar faces.

Abilities:

Spin Dash

Homing Attack (Shadow can automatically home in on opponents while also performing an Air Dash.)

Burning Rollout (Inspired by the flame ring of Sonic Adventure 2, Shadow can cloak his spinning form in fire by turning on his shoes when rolling, doing this will significantly up the strength of his spin, and make a nice little ring of fire around his spinning form.)

Chaos Control (Can be used as short-distance teleportation, as a way to buff Shadow’s speed immensely, or as a way to freeze or dramatically slow Shadow’s relative perspective of time by dramatically increasing his speed.)

Chaos Spear (These are green bolts of pure, chaos energy. The energy used to form these bolts is so unstable that once hurled at something, the ‘spear’ will likely explode, although, if it doesn’t, it will easily pierce through whatever it hits. Shadow likes to shout ‘DISAPPEAR!’ before hurling these at things for some reason.)

Chaos Blast (Shadow’s Chaos Blast can be considered his ‘ultimate’ attack, Chaos Blast sees Shadow creating a kind of ‘mini-singularity’ with chaos energy that will detonate after a short time, easily eradicating anything caught in the explosion’s radius, even the ground around Shadow. The only problem with this is, doing this is a huge strain on Shadow’s natural supply of Chaos Energy, so a lengthy cooldown period is inevitable.)

and of course, we can’t forget

The Roundhouse Kick

Minor Antagonists

These are characters who are villains but are also more likely to show up in arcs that are only a couple episodes long or are side or off-boss fights.

I’ll be honest, most of you know these characters already, so I’m just gonna run through them super quickly and give my suggested changes and my justifications for them.

Rouge the Bat

E-123 OMEGA

Dave the Intern

Fang the Sniper (Nack the Weasel)

Bean the Dynamite

Bark the Polar Bear

Rouge the Bat:

Voice Actor: Karen Strassman

Rouge is a thief and a treasure hunter but is also working for the military agency of the mainland, G.U.N. Rouge is sly, sneaky and has a silver tongue, easily able to manipulate people into what she wants by pure wordplay alone. Rouge is a lot less active of a fighter than Sonic and Co. as she prefers to stalk quietly in the shadows, and strike when the time is right. In this reboot, Rouge is gonna wear something a bit more modest. I’m sorry, I hate Rouges’ clothes in canon. That fucking catsuit? has gotta go. She can still look cool and... *gag* “”sexy”” but, I’d rather her not wear... THAT? But, I do want her personality to remain mostly intact because in full honesty? She’s not a bad character on paper. Like Shadow, though I do kinda want Rouge to be a straight-up antagonist at first, and a very greedy one at that.

E-123 OMEGA:

Voice Actor: Vic Mignogna

What can I say? Omega doesn’t need to change much at all, really. He works in about any Sonic setting tbh. He’s loud, and he likes to blow things up, and he doesn’t emote very well, what else is there? In this reboot though, Omega will be the only E-Series Robot, or rather the only... surviving one. And, yeah, like Rouge and Shadow too, I think Omega should start out as an antagonist.

Dave the Intern:

Voice Actor: Ben Schwartz (What? We gotta keep up the tradition of Dave sharing a voice with Sonic!)

An odd choice for a minor antagonist I know, but Dave the Intern is REALLY funny? And I love the idea of a character just hating Sonic for no discernable reason other than ‘he’s popular and cool and I’m not.’ I also thought it’d be cool if Dave frequently got way in over his head with the shit he does, and put himself into trouble that Sonic (reluctantly) had to get him out of. Plus, I really wanted to include some representation of Sonic Boom in this reboot because Sonic Boom as a show is really funny and really good, and I think taking a page from it might be good, plus, Boom is a part of Sonic’s history too!

Fang the Sniper (Nack the Weasel):

Voice Actor: Dwight Schultz

Fang is the leader of Team Hooligan, and in a similar vein to Great Kukku XV I think he’d take himself way too seriously, but would play off of other characters. In Fang’s mind, he’s a trained assassin, like an evil Aussie-accent Batman or something of that stretch. But, really? He’s just a sleazy conman with a popgun. I feel like a good joke to make in this series would be Fang reaching for what he thinks is his actual pistol, but then he’d pull it out and fire it and it’d be one of his fake popguns. And, do I even need to make a joke about the comedic possibilities between him and Shadow using guns? Also, his real name being Nack the Weasel but he wants everyone to call him Fang the Sniper is funny. I’m sorry but ‘Fang the Sniper’ is just a silly name and I like the idea of Fang being the equivalent of one of those nice guys with Otaku Katanas who think they’re WAY cooler than they actually are. I wanted to choose Fang as a minor antagonist in the reboot just because of the kind of character I think he is, he thinks he has everything under control and has all the cards laid out in front of him when in reality, this setup of his just fails dramatically. The kind of interactions between him and Sonic this could spell out are amazing.

Bean the Dynamite:

Voice Actor: Eric Bauza

What do you get when you throw Daffy Duck and Woody Woodpecker in a blender and make him an unstable arsonist? Bean the Dynamite, that’s what. I’d want Bean in this reboot to be an off-the-wall, screwy, but surprisingly resourceful and clever, explosion-crazed maniac. He wouldn’t be... *gag* ‘insane’, so much as he would be just hyper and unable to calm down, again, like Woody Woodpecker or Daffy Duck. He’d be quick-witted, fast-talking and zippy, even more than Sonic himself is. (In the end, Sonic would always outpace him, but the reflexes on THIS bird are crazy.) Also, I feel like the idea of Bean being a defector of the Battle Kukku Armada is just... great, considering they’re all bomb-throwing birds, but THIS one was a little too off-the-handle for even them? He’d be a real character and a surprisingly dangerous threat for Sonic and Co.

Bark the Polar Bear:

Voice Actor: I’m... actually not too sure who to cast Bark as tbh. Mostly because I see him being very quiet and not... speaking, much at all?

Bark is a quiet tough guy. He’s smarter than he looks, but he’s big, he’s mean, he’s tough, and he will Hulk slam at least one character in the length of this reboot. I don’t really have much idea on where to take Bark, I just think he deserves a place as a minor villain.

Projected direction for canon

So, we have all the pieces of the puzzle, let’s see how they all fit together! I’ll be going through these with the assumption that one game can be made to represent each season of the show in its entirety.

For this, I honestly think it would be best if we split this reboot up based upon Sonic the Hedgehog’s current history with its elements. Think, almost, the way Sonic Generations told its story. We’ll start with something with a more Classic Vibe to it, then move into something more Adventure-like, and then, finally, we do something a bit more Modern! It’ll be a little less linear, and we’ll double dip here and there, but it’ll all line up!

Because of this, I’d like to establish what games have already PASSED before going into this series. This is what all has happened going in, in roughly the chronological order they happened in.

Sonic the Hedgehog 1 (16-bit)

Sonic the Hedgehog 1 (8-bit)

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (8-bit)

SegaSonic the Hedgehog

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (16-Bit)

Sonic CD

Sonic the Hedgehog 3 & Knuckles

Sonic Chaos

Sonic Triple Trouble

Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episodes 1, 2, and Metal.

Sonic Mania

The intention is to begin sort of... around the time JUST before Sonic Adventure 1 happened in the old rudimentary timeline before Sonic Forces came out and clarified Classic and Modern Sonic were different beings.

Season 1/Game 1: Genesis

The first few episodes of the series will be more dedicated to introducing the characters and Sonic’s new home. We’ll see the new Sonic, the new Tails, the new Knuckles, Amy, Mighty, and Ray for the very first time, and we’ll also get to see some of the characters’ new capabilities as they take on some minor villains or assaults led by Orbot and Cubot for the first couple episodes; but not at all subtly tease at something bigger and better coming, although we’re also shown how frequent scuffles between Sonic and Eggman exactly are, as we see plenty of mention of the Doctor, but he never physically appears.

Then, I’d say at about Episode 5 or 6 out of say, 22-24? Eggman steps in and introduces us to his new Master Plan, as he does. To build a new Death Egg (which, Sonic obviously chides him on doing the same thing a THIRD time.), but, as Robotnik does, he turns out to be serious, and the episodes from there on out are a race against time for Sonic and co. to gather all the Chaos Emeralds from various different zones of various different challenging geographies, fight off villains and giant robots, learn valuable morals, run into some familiar faces, and have a couple laughs along the way.

The climax of the season would come with a few episodes left, where Sonic and Co. finally have all the Emeralds, and they chase Eggman down to the New Death Egg, maybe there could be an encounter with Metal Sonic along the way because nostalgia and to introduce Metal into the continuity, and of course things’ll play out from there, Robotnik gets the upper hand and shows his shit, gets in a giant robot, dukes it out with Super Sonic, and BAM! End of Season/Game!

At the very end of season 1/Game 1 though, I’d like to include a little teaser for Season 2/Game 2 in the form of a familiar-looking escape pod in the middle of a jungle, full of green bubbling fluid, and a flash of red eyes.

Season 2/Game 2: Chaos Emerald Chaos

Right out of the gate in Season 2/Game 2, we’re back in the game as Sonic and Eggman are seen duking it out a while after the first game/season has ended, but in a much different area than we’d seen in Season 1/Game 1. This fight would lead up to the pod in the teaser after Eggman lures Sonic into a dark room with the green glow in sight. By one way or another, maybe on purpose or on accident, this pod breaks open, and something is released from it. Sonic is understandably confused, but then, is knocked down, and a panning shot reveals one of three of our major antagonists for the season/game, Shadow the Hedgehog.

Shadow fucking wipes the floor with Sonic in this first encounter, but instead of finishing him off, Eggman instructs Shadow to leave him be and search for the rest of the Chaos Emeralds instead. Shadow nods and simply leaves via Chaos Control. Eggman, on the meanwhile, begins transporting Sonic back to North Island via dropship, revealing by surprise that this isn’t on North Island, but rather a much smaller place Eggman was using as a trap.

Meanwhile, Sonic’s friends (with Knux noticeably absent) are confused to learn that Sonic has been... committing crimes, upon his return back from a scuffle back with Eggman, and seeming very much unlike himself, always hiding away in the dark and staying away from everyone. When they go to confront him, it turns out that this was actually Shadow, disguised as Sonic, who was simply searching for the emeralds for Dr. Eggman.

Sonic’s friends demand to know where Sonic is, but Shadow kicks all their asses instead, and something about the Master Emerald is mentioned after the fight. We then cut away to Knuckles, who is soon confronted by Shadow.

Shadow puts up a hard fight, but, with the help of the chaos emerald he already had, defeats Knuckles, and goes to take the Master Emerald. But, in a last ditch effort to save the gem, Knuckles shatters the Master Emerald, causing the shards to scatter all across the islands. Shadow, understandably frustrated by this, scoffs and leaves, seemingly fooled into thinking the Master Emerald WAS destroyed. Unknowingly, however, shattering the Master Emerald caused Chaos, slumbering within the Emerald, to awaken.

Knuckles, obviously horrified by what he’s done, abandons Angel Island and sets to work on finding both the pieces of the Master Emerald, and any Chaos Emeralds he can, to stop Chaos before anything goes wrong.

At this point, we go back to Sonic, who finally escapes as the dropship taking him to EggmanLand and, by extension, escapes from the city as he hurries to try to reunite with his friends and tell them what happened.

From there, a combination of the events of Adventure 1 and 2 (with the addition of Metal Sonic and some other characters of course.) would transpire, with Rouge the Bat getting involved with Knuckles due to her finding the shards of the Master Emerald, and the Chaos Emeralds trading hands several times, all up until the Season/Game’s climax.

It would all build with Robotnik planning to use Chaos to terraform the Earth by transforming him into Perfect Chaos, who, once he takes form, begins wreaking havoc on a coastal city on the mainland. At this point, the Chaos Emeralds seem shut off, and even though the Master Emerald is restored, it seems like there’s nothing that can be done. Shadow, having already begun to go through a change of heart when he sees the kind of destruction the doctor’s plans have wrought, and after some choice words from Amy, decides instead to join Sonic and Co. in what seems like their darkest hour. And, Shadow mentions that Chaos only absorbed the negative energy of the emeralds, being in-tune with Chaos Energy himself, he’d know this.

And so, Super Sonic and Super Shadow defeat Perfect Chaos together, Knuckles and the spirit of Tikal work together to seal Chaos back inside the Master Emerald, and the city begins to drain.

Shadow, having felt satisfied with this, then decides to go off on his own for a while, and mentions something about ‘wanting to discover himself’, and ‘trying to decide what Maria would have wanted me to be.’

Oh, and Eggman is finally thrown in prison for literally capsizing an entire city. But don’t worry, he’ll be back.

End of Season 2/Game 2.

Season 3/Game 3: Triple Trouble!

This Eggmanless Season/Game would feature a ‘Triple Threat’, in the form of 3 major villains! And all three of them brand new to the series! We’re introduced to Emerl in this season, as well as Great Kukku XV, and Heavy King.

The entire season would be intense, Team Sonic rushing to get the Chaos Emeralds once again, while the Battle Birds (frequently interrupted by Bean the Dynamite, calling out to his ‘brothers’) and Heavies scramble to get them before the team does.

All the while... Emerl grows stronger and stronger by the minute.

And, in a surprise twist, Emerl, having copied the data of Great Kukku XV and the Heavies, among many others, grows the strongest he ever has, and, like Mecha Sonic in Sonic 3, uses the Master Emerald (likely stolen by Heavy King or Kukku at this point) to attain a Super form, and Emerl becomes a terrifying conglomerate of everything that has led up to this point, Perfect Emerl, the thing originally meant to take down PERFECT CHAOS.

But, luckily, Kukku and King realize when they’ve been beaten, and decide to help Super Sonic take down Perfect Emerl.

End of Season 3/Game 3. But like Season 1, let’s end off on a teaser. How about a small, flickering flame, with a visible shadow?

Season 4/Game 4: Return of Solaris

This is the final season/game I have planned out, although that’s not to say more couldn’t be done with this concept, it’s just about as far as I got. Essentially I was thinking this season could be a retelling and retooling of Sonic 06 with some details omitted or changed up like, for instance:

The romance between Sonic and Elise being outright axed! Matter of fact, while we’re at it, let’s just NOT make Elise a focus character so she doesn’t eat up screentime?

The weird time shit in this season/game being altered with Time Stones instead of Chaos Emeralds!

Less plotholes!

Focus on NONLINEAR timelines with LINEAR storytelling.

Silver is less silly!

Metal Sonic!

The Chaotix! AND THEY’RE HERE TO ACTUALLY BE HELPFUL!

Important Sonic characters being important!

Hey guess what? Eggman’s back and busted out of jail and he’s kicking ass! And he’s totally gonna release Solaris even though that didn’t work out so well for him last time!

Mephiles is still a cool villain! And he gets cool new designs for this series too that don’t stray too far from his original form!

I feel like this season/game would be kind of a hard fusion of Sonic CD and Sonic 06, with elements of Sonic CD being changing the past to ensure the future, and the future/present changing as a result.

The climax of this series would be, well, you know by now. Sonic getting shot in the back, but then revived using the Chaos Emeralds and Time Stones together. But, even with Super Sonic, all seems hopeless, but, Sonic and Knuckles seem to have an idea, and it leads up, to our grand finale:

Solaris, the extra-dimensional being of ultimate power.

Versus

Hyper Sonic, Super Shadow, Super Silver, Super Tails, Super Knuckles, Super Amy, Super Mighty, and Super Ray.

With Solaris finally felled, Sonic and Co. use the last of the energy of their super forms to do two more things.

Vanquish the flame of Solaris and Mephiles, and ensure that Solaris may never return to any Time Stream.

Silver’s future, although still broken, now looks much brighter, and the world is saved for the final time.

End of Season 4/Game 4.

I’m sure these ideas could be tweaked or changed around to span more seasons/games if certain characters or aspects of the series become popular, or if demand for certain characters appearing gets to be enough. Sonic has an immense library of games to do over or retell in this reboot, why not?

And, this is just my idea for it, it doesn’t have to go this way explicitly. My only goal with this was to try to unify the Sonic lore in an interesting, unique manner, but also in such a way that it was new, fresh, and it made sense, most of all!

Opening

This really applies more toward the cartoon part of this reboot, that’s not to say the video game COULDN’T utilize the cartoon’s opening or something, it’s just that the opening is more for the show than it is for the games.

There’s a number of ways to go here, but in my mind, the best way to open a Sonic cartoon? Is the way you’d open a Sonic game. How about a condensed ‘remake’ of Sonic CD’s opening, with a few short clips from the first few episodes thrown in there to get people curious and excited about the show when it first airs?

There’s a cover of Sonic Boom by Crush 40 and Cash Cash just waiting to be used for this very thing!

I also think a condensed (that is to say, censored. I hate to censor a great song but ‘kicking-ass fast’ is a bit much for a show that’s likely gonna be PG-rated.) version of the Zebrahead (aka the BEST) version of His World would make for a GREAT opening.

Or if we wanna piggyback off of the recent success of Mania, how about a condensed version of Friends? Maybe we could even end the intro off on a remake of Sonic Mania’s title theme if we wanna have like, a classic Sonic emblem at the end of the opening.

I’d say the opening should be about... 60% new animation with Sonic platforming around and parkouring like he does or whatever, and about 40% old animation of various clips from the show or maybe even the games if we’re feeling kinda frisky to show off the series we’re about to watch, but also for budgetary reasons and to, again, get people interested in what’s actually IN the show, or maybe we could even do it like Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure’s part 1 opening or something where a couple of important scenes from the very beginning of the show or games are re-animated in a flashy way to achieve the same effect, but also wow the audience. That'd be a huge budget sink though and going a classic clip-show-and-new-shit route may just be the ideal compromise.

Marketing

This next part is also a lot more cartoon oriented, and kinda heavily depends on who’s gonna be sponsoring the show and who’s gonna be running it, but, hear me out.

Part of Sonic’s rise to popularity in the 90s was controversial, competitive advertising. And you know what? I haven’t seen anything really quite like this in a long time (except maybe for cleaner commercials), but, lots of people remember how pushy and in your face these commercials were, and how much they really pushed the superiority of the product they were advertising. So you know what? Let’s bring this back. Let’s bring back Sonic’s violent guerilla marketing campaigns.

It’d be a great throwback as well as a statement about Sonic REALLY comin’ back and comin’ back hot; which might get some new people interested to at least watch a few episodes, and in the process of that, they may find they like the new show/games a lot!

(NOTE: I DON’T HATE NICKELODEON, AND THIS ISN’T EXACTLY WHAT I THINK THE SHOW’S SONIC SHOULD LOOK LIKE, THIS IS JUST A PROOF-OF-CONCEPT OF WHAT I THINK THIS SHOW’S ADVERTISING COULD LOOK LIKE)

Or, if we want to opt for more positive, passive marketing strategies, why don’t we revisit an idea that was misused and make it better?

Idk about anyone else but I actually really like the ‘blue streaks to show where Sonic’s been’ idea that the movie posters did, and I think it has potential to make a really memorable-looking advertisement.

Or, why not opt for a more nostalgic passive approach and recreate some of Sonic’s old box art?

Again, it’d be a great throwback as well as a way to get people interested in the show. Although, if we go this route I WOULD say maybe we should make it a little more interesting than just ‘Sonic 1 pose on a black grid or popart background’? Maybe we should combine these box arts and add the pop-art details for little pops of color while Sonic bursts out of this black-grid frame with a richly detailed drawing of Green Hill in the background? I dunno.

Conclusion

Okay, so. I didn’t get to everything I wanted to explain (like other marketing stuff, merchandising, the new actual GAMEPLAY for these new games, how to write the characters and humor, how I think the general ART STYLE of these new cartoons and games should look, etc.) as a matter of fact, I still have a ton more ideas for this reboot, but, here’s the main point:

Sonic the Hedgehog, right now? Sucks. Because it’s such a mess. It has too many ideas that are going off in too many different directions. The best way to change that, in my eyes, is to start over and try to unify all these broken-up ideas into one. I believe this is possible, while still maintaining a pretty widespread appeal and giving broken, old ideas a second chance to shine, but still being fresh and new enough to have a lasting impact and leave the door open for new content later.

I’m really bad at ending posts like this, but, if you went into this post thinking that Sonic can’t or shouldn’t change, I hope I’ve at least provoked thought on the matter. And, maybe, all those hardworking people at SEGA will decide one day that things need to change, whether by a reboot, rewrite or just... doing something a little bit different.

Maybe then, just maybe.

Our blue blur will really shine again.

- Jenny, of @jennikkugoesoff and @jennikku

#Sonic the Hedgehog #Sonic the Hedgehog Reboot #Sonic Reboot #Sonic #sth #jennikkugoesoff #my rants #my essays

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damnitdyna-blog · 5 years ago

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My Break Up Pt. II

I’ve stayed quiet and never addressed the issues that came directly after my initial Tumblr post back in November. I didn’t have the mental capacity for it, and needed time to let everything sink in. I slowly started writing this post at the beginning of the year. Unexpectedly, the world hits us with a pandemic and I became hesitant on sharing. Though I do acknowledge there are larger issues going on in the world and we’re in a place of uncertainty. The quest to continue the truth, my truth, is still the goal.

I live in a world where women are taught to use their voice and speak even if their voice cracks. When I finally found courage in doing so, I’m told some things I shared were lies by my ex-boyfriend. The same man who went radio silent on social media for a whole month soon after I shared my story but managed to send me a “cease and desist” letter via email demanding I take my post down or there will be legal consequences. To force a woman to remove her survival story is a scared tactic and a form of bullying.

I don’t need to prove anyone wrong for accusing me of lying. However, I’d like to clear the air on some claims he's made about me.

1.) It was brought to my attention that there are claims I knew about the nude photograph he took of me and that I immediately shared the image to the internet and Snapchat.

I’d like to elaborate on details I failed to mention in my initial post from November because I only highlighted the main points. I understand small details are just as important. But here's the full truth....

• I did NOT know nor asked him to take a photograph of me while I was showering.

• He did surprise me with the image after I finished showering. I laughed and called him a pervert for being sneaky.

• I shared a CENSORED version of the photograph to my friends via Snapchat to poke fun at him for being a “perverted boyfriend.” Censored as in, it was edited with a censored mark covering my body.

• Sharing a censored version on Snapchat does NOT give him permission to share the full raw image to a woman soon after it was taken.

• I do NOT know this woman and didn’t realize she’s been following and interacting with me through social media this entire time.

2.) I have legal documents signed by a judge of the Superior Court highlighting some of his response to my petition for a restraining order. "He was trying to set up a sexual tryst and seriously misread Petitioner's willingness to participate.” Claiming he “seriously misread” would indicate that a conversation such as was brought up at one point in time or place between the both of us. To my understanding, we were in a monogamous relationship. I was unaware he was having sexual relations with other people let alone exchanging nude images of me with strangers to initiate sex.

Half way into our relationship, I noticed a sudden change in behavior where he would decline sexual intimacy any time I would initiate it. There was always an excuse to avoid it that it began to worry me. I asked him questions, but he’d reassure me how happy he is to be with me and is excited about building a future together. I would then sweep it under the rug to prevent an argument. To say he “seriously misread my willingness to participate” in a sexual activity perhaps with a third party knowing his constant refusal to have sex with me is a bit of a stretch and a slap in the face.

3.) There's claims that I broke into his apartment after I gave up my apartment key to him.

It's OUR apartment in case there's any confusion. My name is included on the lease. He agreed to cover my half of rent + utilities February - April 2019. I ended up paying for our utilities each month including additional late fees while he kept our security deposit that we did not agree on.

April 30th, 2019 was the move out date.

April 7, 2019, I signed the document as stated below:

The apartment key “I gave up” was not a result of me no longer living there. On March 23, 2019, I was heading home to be with family. I specifically left the key with him to give to our guest visiting from Portland, Oregon for access to the apartment building without complications. I would have kept the apartment key if we didn't have a guest. Some of my belongings were still at the apartment so I knew I would return to pick them up. Here’s my DM with our guest dated Mar 23, 2019 soon as I left.

On Saturday, April 6, 2019, I “broke into” OUR apartment to pick up the rest of my belongings out of hurt and frustration when I found out his current girlfriend was continuously at our apartment while I was away with family for emotional support. I no longer had the key to our place, so I went into the property manager’s office to request a spare one. I first contacted his current girlfriend on March 28, 2019, through Instagram, when I learned she came over to our apartment. I was alarmed that my ex-boyfriend invited another woman into our home approximately 5 days after I stepped away to be with family. I believe every woman’s natural reaction would be emotionally distraught upon learning there is another woman in your home. In the message, I respectfully notified her explaining the situation she’s in which she claims she was unaware of. I did not create animosity and didn’t demand she leave my apartment; though I had every right to. I wanted her to make an educated decision on her own whether or not she feels comfortable to be in my home knowing she’s caught in the thick of our breakup.

4.) He claims I sent my Tumblr post to his associates and family members insinuating I was harassing them.

I shared it with 3 women whom I’ve already had prior interactions with. The first woman is a close girl friend who marveled over his excitement and happiness since he's been with me. The second woman is his best friend’s wife who gave me motivational advices to help me cope with the break up. The third woman is his ex-girlfriend of several years.

However, there's legal document that shows a screenshot text conversation between my ex-boyfriend and a gentleman whom I share mutual associates with. I read the gentleman telling my ex-boyfriend that he received my Tumblr post directly from me which is NOT true. It didn't take me long enough to figure out the conversation between the two of them were rehearsed or photoshopped. It's one thing for my ex-boyfriend to lie. But to create or photoshop a fake conversation because he needed an ally is wrong.

Through my healing journey, I’m learning that the way we respond to specific behaviors is a measurement of our character and the type of individual beings we are. I can only imagine when you’re caught in the heat that you’re bound to create falsified stories to protect your image rather than taking accountability. The fact that we’re even having a dialogue about a man I was in love with whom I trusted violating my privacy is beyond disturbing. Those were personal photos and moments between myself, him, and the four walls we were in. It’s disheartening that someone like him feels entitled enough to share something like that to the world. I have no clue what this woman has done with my photograph and who she might have shared it to. If my ex-boyfriend did something like this, I cannot imagine what else he’s done that I haven't yet discovered.

I don’t think people understand the magnitude of how traumatizing this is for me and how it’ll affect me in future relationships moving forward. It’s caused me emotional damage where I had to seek therapy. I never received an apology from him till this day other than a cease and desist letter demanding my post to be taken down to keep me quiet. Between finding not only the right lawyer but one I was comfortable with in handling a non-consensual pornography case and juggling both school + work full time, it became extremely complicated and overwhelming. It took a toll on me emotionally, mentally, and physically. I didn’t fully go through with pressing charges. Nothing can make up for the damage that’s been done. I just wanted everything to go away; the pain and heartache. Please understand that just because a case didn’t go in full effect, that doesn’t mean it never happened.

One may seek a new partner directly after a relationships ends to fill a void if it means to ignore accountability for the suffering of others. But their biggest punishment is that they are who they are. I think back to the conversation we had in our bedroom apartment when he opened up about his estranged older sister who went on his social media leaving a specific comment about him. Going through what I went through and knowing what I know now, I question if her claims are in fact true. If they are, may God be with his new born daughter when she arrives.

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regentcorpse · 5 years ago

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Added after I wrote this, I know my grammar is a mess in this. This post is 2223 words, longer than most high school essays which averaged 1500 words. If you don’t want to read all of this it has been separated into paragraphs and most of the conversation points are in the last three paragraphs. This sentence was added in after word count, the original post was on Facebook which is why the link in this does point to my own blog: My sentence structures are not correct, and this is Facebook and I don’t give a crap about that here. I did try to do my best to make it somewhat understandable with several ideas and conversations all in this. Also I didn’t originally separate it into paragraphs. If a sentence seems out of place at the start or end of a paragraph, my bad. But please read, comment opinions, not angry but constructive to build a conversation. I also don’t know how but this became more like an info blog post, but valid points and openings for conversations are made.

These newish Apple features like the Memoji, like it’s aight but still lacking in so many hair styles and facial depth, forehead, chins, and noses. Hopefully the will add a lot more features to be able to make it more like you, in a cartoon version. I’m about to check out the full bitmoji app to see what all they have, but I feel like apple should of used bitmoji, and since Apple has a version, I know android does. How is their version in your experience? (Please reply even if you don’t know me, I want to have decent conversations with people, but I hardly have anyone to talk to about random stuff like this.) Also the fact that Apple has Memoji in their database of words and not Bitmoji, is extremely weird, and pointless not to have it.

I don’t know how I feel overall about Apples decisions on these updates. They seem to be trying to almost build a legit social media around their platforms, I wouldn’t be surprised if they make something like Google+, which will most likely fail all together as a product, not because it will be awful but because we already have the social media giants that control most people’s lives, work, and reputation.

Facebook is for memes mostly and socializing with like minded people with their pages and groups. Not to mention that so many people use their marketplace now as well, which did shock me that it took of with other apps offering the same thing before Facebook did. To those who didn’t know, yes, Facebook stole that idea from OfferUp and LetGo(I think there was another around before the marketplace.)

You have Snapchat, the goofy fun social media where you can have personalized stories, private or public, and I may be wrong but they are also the ones that introduced the idea(maybe didn’t originally have the idea, but did introduce it, I think. Let me know if I am wrong please, I would like to know.) Next, the thing that made Snapchat big originally was the disappearing pictures after 10 seconds, which you couldn’t edit when the app first came out, the initial release didn’t even have filters or all the extra stuff they have now, it was so basic and simple and blew up. Another thing that made Snapchat big in the same way, disappearing photos meant disappearing nudes for both male and female, only that at first they could be screenshots, that didn’t notify you. In a future version, they disabled screenshoting photos from the default system buttons, but of course people found ways and made apps to get around it. Snapchat then started to block accounts for using those apps, then came the solution of notifying users of screenshots and then recordings when Apple released that feature. I know Snapchat probably wasn’t the first to make the goofy photo filters, but they did make it so much easier and almost more advanced with their simple facial mapping(yes it is simple since it’s meant to work with phones without facial recognition and all the other fancy face features.). Now Snapchat is a place to socialize in groups, or privately with friends through photos, messages, and video. Another big use now is the porn industry, where I think it’s safe to say only females succeed at making a lot of money with. It also seems to avoid spam bots and stuff. I’ve never received anything from a fake user or bot, besides their built in Snapchat bot, so that is honestly impressive and I applaud them for trying to keep it safe and friendly, except for the usual douchebag guys that send dick picks and stalk girls no matter their age. Danger lurks at all corners of the internet, and making friends is easier now, and just an add and a message away sometimes. But be careful who you add and honestly block anyone who harasses you or sends you unwanted images. And report them, help improve internet society and safety. This goes for all social media platforms.

Instagram is built solely around the personal sharing of photos to a feed and nothing else really. I know everyone was shocked that it became as big as it did, considering you can do the same thing in Facebook, and easily share other peoples photos to your friends. Although it is just photos, the people on there that are successful, actually do influence people and promote sponsors and their products. Some use it to get money, for their more explicit content. It followed Snapchat in adding stories, then filters, and has been successful in its endeavors. You can find everything legal on their as well as some illegal content such as drug use. As mentioned above, yes bots and fake accounts exist, be weary in who you talk to and exchange messages and photos with on here as well.

Twitter has been around for a long time and honestly, I see it being the first to die, due to overall lack of community and now with all the user interface updates and whatnot, it can be difficult to understand how the social environment of it works. Basically you get I think 140 characters to insert into the status prompt or whatever you/they want to call it. I personally don’t use it much, I get on there to see any updates from game companies and some of my favorite authors and music artists. I do this maybe once a week or two. I honestly don’t understand the point in twitter nor how getting followers and conversations started on there, if you have any suggestions for me please let me know if you are still somehow reading this.

Tumblr, ye olde blogging platform, one of the best until the pornography bam that yahoo added once their app was removed from the Apple store after I think being reported for child pornography. A lot of people lost their blogs and thousands of followers and countless hours of work. Many others had a lot of their content censored by a community guidelines photo or by being completely removed. So yes we can all agree that it’s a good thing they are trying to do what they can to combat child pornography of Tumblr, but a lot of people saw this as a complete change of environment for tumblr, whether being used for art, music, porn, pizza, cats etc.. Another big complaint that caused this change is how easy it was to lie about your age and turn off the content filter that got rid of the majority of inappropriate content. It was literally just a search option, then they tried moving it to your phone settings to the app setting in there to turn it off, which was still too easy. I can say you will still see pornographic content on Tumblr, mostly by accident, but there are people still posting getting around their image search algorithms. Past that to summarize, it’s basically a bigger version of Twitter, allowing for blog posts of most media types now, they have a reblog button to repost on your own page(these also get their own sub domains where it follows such as mine regentcorpse.tumblr.com. This is not for promotion, just an easy example(it’s a new blog with only like one blog post, but yes is my personal blog.) You can use your own domain if you own the address and route it to tumblrs name-servers, which most domain hosts have guides available to help you understand the process and set it up. They follow Wordpress in allowing themes which are only visible in a web browser and not the Tumblr mobile app, but on mobile you can edit the color scheme and fonts to what they have stock. To be like twitter with the features of Wordpress except custom plugins, it is a phenomenal platform still where you can truly be yourself and no one actually has to know who you are, you just post the content you love, the content you create(except for the porn content that a lot of people now went to Snapchat and Twitter for, and probably some private instagrams). You can find almost everything you heart desires within lawful reasons, I mean honestly you could probably find someone to buy illegal stuff from like guns, drugs, etc but I’ve never looked for that type of stuff on there. I love cyberpunk culture and there are so much content around it on tumblr. It also has pretty decent privacy setting for a blog, which can be password locked I believe and you can set permissions for it to be only people you follow or follow you, or no one or everyone can message you, ask questions(which can be anonymous), and submit content to your blog(also can be anonymous). The tumblr community can be toxic but also so helpful and beautiful seeing some of the ways people come together on there. It can range from legit bugs to books and quotes to programming and even professional use.

There is also LinkedIn, which is a very professional platform where you can add your professional resume and skills and may get recruited to jobs. I remember something like this tried to launch on Facebook but I do believe it failed out, as I haven’t seen anything about it or a link since they probably removed it.

So this leads me to ask What would an Apple Social Media Platform consist of? How would they try to outdo the others, and how would they make it appealing enough for people to use/switch to. Yes Apple is a big name, but so was google which failed at social media. They had good ideas but went about it completely wrong.

I feel like Apple would attempt to make a platform around creativity and art of all types. I feel like it would be a platform that would combine GarageBand, IMessages, Memoji, and all their other great apps into one. If they added collaboration on projects a lot easier in that aspect, and didn’t force themselves into everyone(Yes, Google that’s a shot at you.), they could make a truly great platform where we could see great things made by groups, communities, artists, and I could see them adding some sort of collaboration for web developers and programmers, which I would like to see knowing that Facebook, the corporation not social network, owns Oculus, and they already have a lot of resources for developers. Do you think Apple might be working on a social media platform, or do you think they will just keep adding out of place features? Do you think they would succeed in it or absolutely fail? Do you think Apple would stand a chance against the other giants that have been around and built up their user base? Also another issue is how exclusive Apple is with everything, just the fact you can log into Apple TV and watch it on a Windows Pc is a miracle. Do you think Apple will make it exclusive or would they put in the effort of being their media platform to everyone no matter their device? Remember everyone had a MySpace, now you never even hear about it, Facebook was a surprising switch with it having limited functionality and basically no customization options for your profile like MySpace and some other media’s had.

I want to hear your thoughts, opinions, and speculations about this, let’s start an open and friendly conversation, no hate or trolls, I don’t want all of that and your comments will be deleted and I may even block you from seeing posts like this on your feed and my page. This is at an end because my thumbs are tired and my phones dying and Facebook is lagging from how much I just put on here, but seriously comment, let me know what’s running in your mind, even what you would like to see change in social media in general or even in specific ones. I hope you all do open a nice and positive and informative conversation, I want to see that on Facebook more and I want to make friends I can talk about this type of stuff with in depth or even as broad as mostly common knowledge.

#facebook #instagram #apple #android #tech #future #social media #tumblr #art #music #books #community #programming #mobile #desktop #google

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marika-kurohime · 6 years ago

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Tales of Vesperia: “Yuri is The Morning Star “her” self as “she” should be” theory (11/26 complete)

First of all, sorry for BAD English here.

Previously I’ve tried to post this on youtube, but... here is the full version of it.

We all are confused at the moment by Tales of the Rays storyline and Vesperia’s postgame situation especially.

It's crazy for NO JOKE. Let's do this. If you're fine to think of Vesperia as something simple with yaoi/yuri ships - for now you can STILL do so, but

you have to see optional dungeons of this game: "Labyrinth of Memories" with Kratos Aurion in it and "the Necropolis of Nostalgia" (Patty got the key to start that VERY HARD and annoying dungeon (enter is in Zaude) which explains the whole "Сhildren of the Full Moon" thing and this world's past), open up all the skits and so on... It'll rise A LOT of questions, believe me.

This is where you can read this

I'm NOT fine with yaoi/yuri ships and there seems to be the one and only RIGHT way to understand all this mess, but it's crazy.

I don't want to write the theory before we have at least some facts, So, I'll only warn you for now that:

1)Yuri is with Raven ALL THE TIME in ALL worlds: Link, Asteria (chapter 4), even Rays where we have Estelle with us... you will read something... strange... (yeah... "strange" is a good word for it) between Yuri and RAVEN all the time.

2) It seems that Yuri and Rita have some sort of connection to Iria's and Luka's (Tales of Innocence) god-powers.

To sum this up: or this game is just plain and stupid or it has a different gender system. Think about this:

Rita's dresser scene, and also, how Yuri lived his life before and after his attempt to join the knights (some skits hinted this... and we got THIS dirty card of him for New Year)

I can't say any more right now, we all want some facts regarding, well, his gender, current behavior and his postgame relationship with Raven and Estelle,

BUT one thing for sure. HE IS NOTHING close to what you'll expect of him even if you ship him and Flynn together.

Maybe, from now on (Tales of The Rays arc 3) this line will be shown for the first time, I don't know... thanks to PXZ2 I'm afraid to know...

There is more to this. In his True Knight outfit,

he has pointy ears for some reason.

And to top it all: so-called fanservice in the Rays' special anime just killed me on the spot.

NO NORMAL explanation for THIS. He is not only nothing even close to a human (half-elves included) and can BE confused with a woman as with Leon (Tales of Destiny) and his sister (Leon is only 16 years old ), ALL NORMAL men see Yuri THIS way at his... well he is 21 at the beginning of the game and 22+ by the end.

No facts. They've been MESSING with us for two years before DE's worldwide release. And It gets waaaay more serious from now on...

JUST LOOK at...him(???) from the God Eater collaboration trailer...

No, no, no, I don’t think that I’m seeing things...

And so, to make a long story short: 360 version was incomplete (or "censored" by Namco themselves is a better way to say it) to the point when you can't get this story at all.

Are you sure you want to know more?... for a joke, it went tooooo far somewhere after we left Heracles,

but what I'm reading now... makes me split my tea and think of dropping it all for good because of Yuri and Yuri alone.

Tales of Asteria made it even worse. In chapter 4 we have 3 lines about returning memories to a person, who the character holds dear: Jude-Milla, Collette-Lloyd, AND Raven-Yuri...

guess which one was mature, tragic and romantic the most?

And he wasn't called Yuri in the title of his Chapter. It was something like: "The fate of the Morning Star". Just like in the at least two tracks from OST of the original game. This and that one too. And who the hell is this so-called Morning Star???

Well...

So... basically, the main character here is RAVEN.

And it's a story how he got himself our dear "hell of a goddess"

for a...

sorry... for a friggin substitute of his lost love

(and Yuri resembles her greatly to make it worse).

Tales of the Rays arc 2 was HELL of a read for me because of Yuri alone...

He is living with Raven, нe worried sick for Flynn's wellbeing,

he constantly shakes off Estelle on Rita...

FOR a friggin YEAR! Main Vesperia's story explains NOTHING

of what you really need to know.

You need to 100% clear this game only to get some dirty hints and a mind blow trying to put all this mess together.

If you know Japanese, then Drama CD's help as well.

Update: And yes, THIS was some anniversary to add the fuel to the fire. And as I feared, it is NOT only Asteria’s problem for sure.

So, we love Tales of Vesperia only because people do not bother to find out, what “VESPERia” means.

“Vesper” means Venus (or Astar/Astarte, Morning (male form - Anunit)/Evening Star) GODDESS OF LOVE and justice, yeah, yeah...

... and prostitution,

homosexual relationships and war and a lot more). Goddess, damn it...

Remember this statue at the Baction Shrine?...

Update: actually all this mess isn’t just about him being who he is, the main problem is THIS map

which is clearly our Mother Earth and not their Terca Lumieres AT ALL! Add to this what The Morning Star himself tried to say in Project X Zone 2:

Sooo... does it mean, that he got his reputation in our Earthly mythos simply living out his life to the fullest on some sort of “vacation trip” and is remembered by two names

(as Shamash and his twin sister Ishtar)? Daaaamn,

as if Judith’s novel wasn’t bad (I mean great) enough...

And now goes our final mythos based theory: Yuri isn't exactly a goddess, he is just a very high-ranked and powerful anunnaki. And he has THIS level of mental disorder separating Shamash

( light: True Knight in the heart, kindness (love), and justice)

“ His friend wasn't a knight, he was part of a guild. His friend didn't believe in "justice" and "virtue" but rather "resolution" and "morality". ” About Yuri from Flynn’s biography in the Tales of the Rays.

Although often cynical, he has a strong sense of justice and possesses an earnest desire to aid the weak and the powerless. (c) Crosspedia PXZ2 (2015)

and Ishtar...

sorry, not this one. Ishtar (Anunit, The Morning Star)

(dark: a whore to the bone, love (means sex) & war) parts of his personality. That means that both of "them" aren't whole and...

well, it’s better to stop here for now and see how bad our Dark Venus with a hero syndrome:

will be from the point when...

when “She” gets (regains?) “Her” full self-awareness...

*PXZ Project X Zone (sorry, spelled it wrong, but I’m too furious, you see, to check small details. I hate so much I even had to write all this about MY favorite MALE character I mistook “HER” for... to begin with. Hate the very thought people still didn’t know WHOSE Anniversary it is. If Namco wouldn’t give proper explanations, or they will be worse than what we can assume now... well, I did everything I could for HIM... before all the HELL this body really is for

breaks out. because It’s impossible to continue like this

and Yuri himself already understood that even Flynn saw him in a different light for all his life.

Update:

and with a new skill like that (by-the-books Lightbringer to me), it all will be confirmed/over in a few months at best.

Gods!

...this is not fun even for me anymore. I'm starting to pity "her" for real. DE isn't even a remake, you know...

It's PS3's remake but PS3 and 360 are NOT one and the same. What did we do to deserve this ten years after? (5 for me) ...Oh, what a mess.

It can only be compared with Estelle's new dress.

Screaming "dawn"+"bride" 100% Aya (as a silly child in her dreams to make it the worst situation possible for her for Aya has no info about her in the mythos so you can imagine on whom she is based on personality-wise from now on).

And the whole Namco's Universe is Unus Mundus based. This much is obvious from Anima&Animus + Ix's-zerom connection thing as they have shown it.

So... Vesperia's story so far (all with "probably" before every statement):

1) Something horrible happened to right-handed "HER" before he is shown left-handed 7 years old boy. (Luke and Schwann are both left-handed, Damuron, Raven, and Asch aren't).

2) Something horrible happened to HIM after the movie resulting in a second kinda split of what should be The MORNING part

into what I call Shamash and Anunit "twins". Damn.

3) Something truly horrible happened to "them" atop of Zaude for he has a blastia and that "survival" of his now....looks really fishy.

4) And a TOTAL SHIT happened in the end atop of Tarquaron. for "their"'s body is Istar's avatar kinda thing and we got that Brave Vesperia "star" smashed in pieces, so it is a spirit now... and you can imagine what we have in the Rays in addition to “them” (total four of them: Shamash for Estelle, Nergal for Judith, Ishtar for Flynn and Anat for Raven...

or even more) and “their” problems... This gonna be a once in a lifetime experience if our dear author is bold enough to drag ISTAR (Sirius star WOLF GOD) here to play the Fenrir's part not just our poor Anunit (Nanaiya) "girl" based on goddess Sakuya.

And what in the world was 360th Yuri then who earned 8.5. years of love, respect and admiration of the fans worldwide before Claw bitch in Asteria ruined EVERYTHING “he” сould for him? Who suffers so much from the mistreating he gets from everyone at their Dorms?

Hah... just a half of something really close to Luke's kind of existence

...without his own body.

This whole Rays "story" is a ONE BIG MESS meant to explain THIS.

AND this gonna hit really hard even those of us who are well prepared because Duke’s event and info from the near future were unexpected and crazy enough for me to get shocked despite all this lore digging. Then I did even more lore digging and dropped it all for good after chapter 9 of FR arc.

I just want to see how people will react if all the shit you just finished reading here about our favorite world and character

will be proven as even HALF-right in the near future as the story in the Rays progresses.

This still looks too simple for me. The real deal SURE is worse. I’m 100% positive only concept-wise mostly because of how he will look in GEREO’S world,

because he doesn’t look human at all and the symbols on his outfit are clearly Istar’s. I’m not bold enough to write how I think the real story will turn out...

, but our CONCEPT-based theory is enough for me to drop it all until it is over... and remember HIM

as he was AND by Shamash’s name only.

P.S. translated Rays’ screenshots are from Lol’s Youtube channel

#tales of asteria #tales of the rays #tales of vesperia #yuri lowell #tales of

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thispabulum-blog · 3 years ago

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Tear-Stained Letters and Deep Blue Sadness

Post-Mortem Monday

What with this being Post-Mortem Monday and all, I wanted to try to find a way to really explain what happened and how this breakup with Dr. Strangelove came to be, for the half-dozen of you who don’t already know, and also for posterity because I've just been talking around it for a while.

This is going to be a long and un-fun read unless you just really live for drama, so

content warnings/trigger warnings up front: lots of talk about things that may or may not be physical, psychological, emotional, and sexual abuse (I don't feel like splitting hairs), and then also some talk about things that are definitely those. A few mentions of self-harm, and a difficult paragraph or two about suicide.

Also a lot more explicit sex talk than we usually do here.

If you don't want to read this, I totally understand. Come back tomorrow and read about cute things!

Yay! I will try to break things up with jokes and gifs when possible, in my usual inimitable style.

If you're still here, thanks!

As I spoke about briefly before, once I made the decision to leave my relationship, I started reaching out to my closest friends in order to rally a support system of sorts and work on a plan so that when I broke the news to Dr. Strangelove, I'd be able to leave immediately.

For the record, because unfortunately there's still a level on which I feel guilty about this, so I feel the need to explain: we'd never been able to have serious conversations about our relationships or mental health or any kinds of issues that we were experiencing. In 8 years, every argument or difficult conversation that we had went in a similar way:

We'd let an issue build up without talking about it until we couldn't stand it anymore and it would kind of explode out.

He'd yell at me about something, and I'd shut down and not be able to respond (for trauma reasons, I don't deal well with anger, especially male anger, and I tend to dissociate when faced with it).

He'd guilt me about whatever was going on, yell at me about how the fact that I was crying made him feel like an asshole and a terrible human being and I must hate him, that I know how much it pisses him off when I won't talk and that if I'd just say something he wouldn't be so mad that he had to throw things and break things and punch holes in the wall. He would bang his head on the ground or pull his hair or scream (sometimes into a pillow, sometimes not).

I'd end up apologizing to him, more than anything because I was distressed and needed to be comforted and desperately needed him to not be angry anymore, and we'd both cry until we were exhausted.

We'd agree to try to do better at whatever the issue was.

Sometimes we would do better, for a while, but it always slipped back and things would be worse than before.

Unsurprisingly, this method of communication accomplished very little, ever.

The problems we had at the end were just slightly more advanced versions of the same problems that we had 2 years before, 4 years before, 6 years before. Therefore, I didn't have much hope that taking my concerns to him would result in anything changing in a significant way.

Not to mention, I'd gone through the breakup/apology/reconciliation cycle enough times with The Hitter to know how much of a trap that is, and I didn't want there to be the opportunity for it.

Therefore, we had a mutual friend there as a mediator/neutral 3rd party, and agreed to communicate through him going forward. More relevantly for this post, though, I also consented to letting him email me so that he could say whatever he needed to say.

Narratively, it seemed the best way to explain things would be to show you these emails, because they explain a lot about the breakup and about the relationship itself.

I may censor some stuff (besides names); I may not. We’ll see how vulnerable I feel.

His emails will be in blue because he's just that sad.

Mine will be in a different color.

[If I have editing notes and commentary to interject, they will look thusly]

Week 1, Feb 18, I received this email from him.

I had known it was coming, but I was still reluctant to actually read it. I figured it would make me sad or piss me off, or more likely both.

It did!

Dear [Pabulum],

I miss you so much. My heart is broken and my mind is a jumbled mess. I have so many questions. Questions that might be hard and painful for both of us. Questions that burn inside me, but questions I don’t expect to necessarily get answers.

[I'm gonna ignore the bad writing because, y'know, he's upset.]

Is there someone else? I want to believe this is a ridiculous question, but I can’t help that it’s my first one. Please don’t leave this one unanswered because you’re trying to save my feelings. Please don’t be afraid of my reaction. I will contain myself.

Is there any road to salvation? Do you see us ever getting back together? I would be willing to try counseling. I would be willing to try anything.

Is it something I did? Is it something I said? Is it something I didn’t do? Is it something I didn’t say? Is it just who I am as a person? Is it who I’m not?

You said we both weren’t happy. I can’t argue with that, but I was happy with you. Our trips to Colorado, staying at the Hilton in downtown Dallas, literally any time you wore shorts, our first night together and a wonderful albeit slightly awkward first date, the anniversary we spent with [roommate], every anniversary, going to the movies, that time I sat on the dog at the drive-in, every time you sent me Star Trek memes, my Star Wars birthday, every birthday, the Valentine’s day you bought me the ukulele and I bought you a microwave like an asshole, the first time you met my mother, the first time you met my father, our drives home from my mother’s, the way you are with my brother, the fact that you’re my best friend, the time we moved and were awesome at it, when you moved into the [Street Name] house, that Halloween when we were Beauty and Beast, that time you got the most horrific nosebleed at [book store], living on [street] with that tiny kitchen, our first kiss, when you would leave me a shirt that smelled like you if we were going to be apart, holding you, loving you. I could go on for pages. There was just so much happiness. Am I happy with my life? No. Was there an abundance of happiness in my life with you? Absolutely.

[Please note the fact that this list contains many things that I did for him, and zero things he did for me. I wonder why?]

Are you so afraid of me? I would never hurt you. I’ve worked hard at controlling my anger and I believe the medication helps with it too. I know what anger does to you and it kills me to think I could be the cause of that kind of pain. I worry that you’ve created an image of me in your mind that is some kind of monster. Unable to contain itself during moments of intense emotion. Maybe that’s more accurate than I realize. No one knows me better than you do, but I’d like to think that’s not who I am.

It’s almost funny that days before I’d been talking to [mutual friend] about how great we were, though I always have a little insecure voice in my head telling me you would leave. He and I discussed it most of the night and I came away more convinced than ever that it was just me being crazy. I feel like such a fool.

I am so hurt and betrayed. To have that fear validated by the person I trust most in the world hurts so deeply. Like I’d said, I never saw this coming. Like you’d said, maybe that’s part of the problem. But it hurts so much that you never gave us the chance to work through anything. I know there were times over the past few months when I tried to speak to you about what was going on and you shut me out. Now I worry that you’re so afraid of me that you couldn’t speak to me. That hurts so badly. I can’t help but imagine the alternate world in which we were able to work through things. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.

I imagine you’re as curious about my emotional state as I am about yours. [Not particularly, tbh] I grieve for our relationship. My every thought is colored by a deep, blue sadness. Never in my life have I experienced such pure sadness. I’m confused. That’s probably evident by the jumble of thoughts that is this letter. Am I angry? I’m betrayed. The one person I trusted more than anyone validated my deepest fear. But am I angry? If I am, I don’t really care. Any anger is buried under the mountain of grief.

A part of me is afraid to send you this letter. Maybe this is more therapeutic for me than it is interesting at all to you. No one knows my vulnerabilities the way you do and I’m more afraid to hide or edit down my feelings. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose us. I don’t want to just be your friend, but if that’s what you need, that’s what I’ll do.

I know this process takes time and I intend to give you all the time you need. It would be helpful to me if you could give me an idea of the time you need, but I understand if that’s not realistic.

I love you. I will always love you. Nothing will ever change that.

Yours Forever,

[Dr. Strangelove]

P.S. Please let [mutual friend] know when you’ve responded so I know to check my email.

Sigh.

Talking to my best friend about it (before, during, and after) I said that it was good that I'd be able to get to say more in my email response than I did when we actually had our breakup talk - I'd had a whole speech prepared, but as I predicted, once he figured out what was going on he didn't want to hear it anymore - but that I still wanted to keep it somewhat measured.

And by "measured" I meant focused on me and my unhappiness, and not how he's a selfish, gaslighting manchild.

The whole letter was just so self-centered and self-pitying - which, fair. It's about his feelings on the whole thing. But it still wasn't what I wanted to hear. Like oh, you think it hurts YOU that I'm afraid of you? How do you think it makes me feel? You think I've created an image of you in my mind as some kind of monster? If I did, it was based on evidence.

And saying he'd be willing to go to counseling was the biggest load of bullshit. Something I tried to explain to several people after the fact, when he had made me feel guilty about "why didn't you tell me how you were feeling so we could work on it" was that I don't do ultimatums. You shouldn't need the threat of my leaving to convince you to work on the relationship.

Toward the end of Week 2, as I was spending 4+ hours every night on the phone with Baymax, who could always tell what I was feeling by my inflection (and who would, a week after this, tell me he loved me in his sleep), I sent this response (Feb 26) because I was told he was waiting.

It was as measured as it was going to get, but it would be hard to not see the fact that I was pretty pissed off. He was wrong to have challenged me to a battle on my own turf (writing).

I’ll try to address as much of your email as I understand, and maybe point out some things that I don’t. I’m going to try to be as honest as I can be, so this may get too blunt at times. I’m also going to try to focus on the me aspect of it as much as possible, since I feel like that’s the part you need filled in the most for you. I’m worried that’s going to make this whole thing come off really selfish, but I guess that’s kinda where I’m at. Anyway, enough prefacing.

I didn’t leave you for someone else. I’d like to say I think you know me better than that, but I guess given the circumstances it’s understandable that you might feel like you don’t. It’s a little hurtful and more than a little frustrating that that’s the first place your mind goes, and that you’re pre-empting a negative reaction based on what you think my answer might be. You’ll contain yourself? I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean to me, but it doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence. It makes me think you’re not willing to admit that there were problems with our relationship, and that it’s easier for you to think I was cheating on you. If that’s the case, it’s going to make the rest of this really difficult.

It’s tough for me that your letter was so focused on you. I felt as though I made a point to establish why I thought this was the best thing for both of us, and the message I’m getting is that you’re mostly concerned with how it’s affecting you. I don’t think it’s about you, specifically. I think it’s about us, our dynamic, the roles and traps we fell into over the years and our inability to work our way out of them.

[This was too nice. I should not have said this.]

I’m not arguing that there weren’t good things about us, that we didn’t love each other, that we didn’t have fun. Let me offer, as a counter-measure to your litany of Good Times, some things that I remember: The trips home from your mother’s house with lectures about how I needed to be more respectful and grateful to her, literally any time I asked for help around the house, the fact that we hadn’t had a date night or gone anywhere together since before COVID, the anniversaries you had to be reminded of and put no effort into celebrating, getting to movies late, not being able to watch a whole movie in the living room because you needed unrestricted access to the PlayStation, the plan to move to Colorado that never got carried out, the Valentine’s Day that I bought you a ukulele and you bought me a microwave, the multiple moves where I did all of the work finding a new place to live, the fact that I hadn’t seen any of my family in more than 4 years despite seeing yours on a weekly basis, the time my cousin was dying in the hospital and we couldn’t make time to go see her, the way you are about [Meeko Neko], when you refused to go to counseling with me, allowing your parents to disrespect me rather than stand up for me. My point is, you can make anything sound one way or another if you only list the things that support your argument.

It’s hard for me to explain the fear, and by no means do I think it’s an intentional thing that you do. [Also not entirely true. Honesty is hard, yo.] The short answer is yes, I’m afraid of you. I’m sorry, I know that’s going to hurt. Over the last month I began to realize how much living with you was like living with my father; a series of careful rituals and complicated incantations designed to ward off the intense anger and potential consequences. Tiptoeing around the house while you were sleeping, making sure I got all the right things at the grocery store so you wouldn’t be upset, looking busy so you wouldn’t think I was being lazy, never having my friends over, changing what I was watching on tv before you got home, trying to strategize when to ask you questions or bring up difficult subjects to manage your reactions. I’m not saying these things were necessary or that there were/are definitely legitimate reasons to be concerned for my physical safety around you, but that’s how PTSD works; it was a familiar dynamic and the fact that I’d been doing it for so long finally hit me, and it made me physically ill. I spent weeks not being able to sleep, not being able to focus at work, physically shaking all the time. I was so sad and so disgusted with myself and the point that I had gotten to. And it was like you didn’t even notice.

[Female Friend] told me recently that when she and [her boyfriend] came to visit in October, after they left she was talking to him about how nice it was to see me, but that our apartment had felt really tense in a way that she couldn’t identify. Thinking back on it, I can’t really remember you being there, though obviously you were. Things like that are part of the reason why it’s so hard for me that I haven’t been able to see my friends much; I need to be around people who can point out to me things that I’m not noticing myself.

I feel like I lost myself along the way. That as soon as we got together, I started putting away parts of myself that didn’t fit our relationship, and trying to mold myself into what you wanted and needed. I felt like I wasn’t able to do the things I wanted to do because I had so many other responsibilities: working full-time to pay bills and have health insurance, doing all the shopping and cooking and cleaning, taking care of the house, taking care of you. I was tired all the time, and it was so hard to relax because I’d just feel guilty about the things I wasn’t doing.

Cooking used to be an activity I loved and looked forward to and couldn’t wait to do, but it had become such an obligation that I haven’t been able to enjoy it at all. In 8 years, the only home-cooked meals I had that I didn’t make myself were made by your parents. That’s exhausting.

Baking used to be such a huge part of my identity, but I haven’t really done it in years. The whole reason I got into baking was because sharing baked goods gave me a way to socialize and talk to people and make a good impression on them. Baking a cake to have it go moldy on the counter after we’ve eaten two slices is depressing.

And writing? I used to write constantly; I wouldn’t go anywhere without my writing journal. I can’t remember the last time I wrote anything more complex than a tarot interpretation or a Reddit comment. I don’t even know where my old writing journal is. I think I’ve been afraid to be that emotionally vulnerable because I’d have to admit that I was unhappy.

These are things that used to define me, and without them I don’t know who I am.

I miss my friends and family, the people I used to see all the time, and I’m tired of making excuses for why I can’t join them for game nights and hangouts and dinner parties and holidays, because I knew you wouldn’t want to, or I was afraid to commit to something that we would end up bailing on at the last minute, or because we already had plans with your family. I miss being able to enjoy the music and movies and tv and YouTube videos that I like without someone telling me that they’re dumb and annoying and terrible and objectively bad and that I’m wrong to like them.

Now. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to talk about the sex, because we’ve talked about it before and none of it should be news to you, and it’s not going to change anything at this point. But you wanted honesty and I’m feeling honest, so this is going to be the whole second half of this email.

[I had actually rehearsed this part of the letter several times, as I used it as part of explaining to my support system what was going on and why I was leaving, so I'll let you in on some of their reactions, as well as things that I said to them that didn't get put into the letter because they were too mean, too direct, or too unproductive.]

With my trauma background, I have such a hard time in situations where I feel like I’m not able to stop or say no safely without making someone angry or hurting their feelings. It’s a thing that I’ve struggled with particularly with you moreso than anyone before, because your reactions to that were always very much anger, frustration, and this really concerning sense of entitlement.

[Meeko Neko: "I KNOW that I've asked you before how the sex is and you definitely told me it was good and you were fulfilled"

Me: "Well idk if I was lying more to you or to myself, but I guess I'm just sorry I felt like I couldn't be honest.]

[Space Kitten: "YES. Hold on. Yes. Let me talk about this for a minute...]

It would be this self-perpetuating cycle where the longer we’d been without, the more frustrated you would be, which put me in a weird headspace where I wasn’t comfortable with your anger, and made it more likely that I’d need to back out or stop, but also felt less safe doing so.

It causes sex to become this whole If You Give a Mouse a Cookie situation, where if I don’t feel 100% comfortable doing XYZ, I’m not going to do UVW because I’m worried that it will hit a point of no return. And then I won’t do RST because you would want it to lead to UVW. And on and on, until I won’t even do ABC. Even kissing has made me really uncomfortable for years, because I didn’t want to start anything that I wasn’t prepared to finish. And not being able to have that kind of casual intimacy without a mountain of baggage and expectations is a huge deal. That sucks. It makes sex an all-or-nothing proposition.

For years I’d been under the impression that it was just my PTSD making things difficult, that I was just psychosexually broken and not really capable of having a normal sex life. I was so tired all the time, and taking care of all the housework just made me feel like a maid or a parent and not a fun sexual person. I didn’t even think about it, or notice when it would be weeks since it had happened.

And I don’t know when it changed. It seems like at one point it was all about being comfortable and having fun and consent and sometimes we’d stop and do something else and never really finish, or whatever. [The unspoken part of this is that it was like that with other people I was with. Sex was just like this activity that was all about being comfortable and fun and having this unstructured physical exploration, and sometimes sex was sex and sometimes sex was a couple of separate orgasms or whatever everybody's bodies were feeling at the time, and everyone was fine with that. ] Without that, it becomes this huge chore; this obligation and goal in itself, all-or-nothing, instead of a fun collaborative situation: I Need This From You rather than I Want This With You. [And sometimes I'd be into it and sometimes not, and sometimes I'd be able to finish and sometimes not, and sometimes I'd have to take care of myself once he left the room and I'd be angry and sad about it. And not to toot my own horn or anything, but I feel like I'm kinda wasted in that environment.]

After having a few of those conversations where you would make me feel guilty about not wanting to have sex because of how difficult it was for you, I started seeing a sex therapist. She recommended a book that we could read together, and I remember being so excited to show it to you because I felt like “Look, an Actionable Change we can make! Something we can do so that I better understand my body and how to work with it/work around it”. But your reaction was so negative and so disconcerting. You immediately made it about you, that you didn’t want to read it together, didn’t want to read it separately, and that I could read it but you didn’t know why I would even want to bother; it wasn’t going to help. It felt like you took it as a personal attack.

[Meeko Neko was so frustrated by this. I don't have an exact quote but the idea is that he said Dr. Strangelove is selfish and was being defensive and hurt, instead of seeing it as a good opportunity he took it as "You're bad at this and I want to shame you into changing". So maybe he's the one who needs sex therapy.]

It clicked with me then that you didn’t want me to work on getting better so that I could be healthier and happier and enjoy sex, you wanted me to just be better without having to do or change anything, so that I’d say yes to having sex more. I stopped going to the therapist after that, because it wasn’t worth paying $125 a week if there was no way to implement any of the changes she suggested. I tried to keep dealing with it on my own, but it just got more difficult.

Because of my trauma, sometimes sex feels weird or bad or gross, or I’ll get flashbacks and memories and images that pop up in my head and won’t go away. When I say Stop, I need it to Stop, and if I can’t exit the situation at that point it’s really damaging, and it fucks with my sense of bodily autonomy which is a real problem.

Which is absolutely a thing we’ve discussed multiple times, and I know this because I’ve looked through some of our old notebooks where we would have these conversations, and somehow it just never seemed to sink in, because the message I got back was that you needed to have sex, and it was my fault for being so attractive, so therefore it was my responsibility to deal with it.

I don’t know why my boundaries weren’t important to you. I don’t know why my triggers weren’t important to you.

And there were times when I would need to stop, or I wouldn’t be able to get into it at all, and you’d want me to just lie there or go to sleep so you could do what you needed to do, and I couldn’t tell if it was intentional that you wanted so precisely to act out the way my father used to abuse me, or just obtuse. I can’t convey to you just how bad those experiences were for me. It paralyzed me, made me feel sad and gross and hate myself. I’d dissociate and spiral and after you were finished I’d go have a panic attack in the bathroom and by the time I came back you’d be sleeping peacefully, having gotten what you wanted and not realizing what it cost me.

And sure, that’s probably a boundary that I should have enforced better, but it also seems really awful that it’s a thing I should even have to. Not re-enacting my childhood trauma is kind of a baseline for respect.

Obviously these are things I’ve been aware of for a long time, but I think I had - whether intentionally or not on your part - internalized so much of it that I felt like it was My Fault and just me being Damaged. I really thought that I wasn’t able to enjoy sex anymore and I’d just have to figure out how to live with that, and occasionally give in because it wasn’t fair to you otherwise. But the more I’ve thought about it, the clearer it became that I was reacting in the ways that I was because I didn’t feel safe around you. That that’s how my mind and my body shut down to protect themselves.

I don’t know what kind of time I need. I don’t know what that would look like. I’m still trying to untangle my thoughts and feelings. I’d like to start going back to counseling to work through some things. It would probably be good for you to do the same, but I know I have no business telling you what to do at this point.

As for salvation, I don’t know. That’s not a topic for now. At the very least, which I don’t remember if I managed to say when we spoke, I’d like to be able to be friends at some point. But there has to be some time and space before that’s a thing we can reasonably approach without it just making things harder.

[For whatever reason I couldn't bring myself to go full Taylor Swift and be like "We are never ever ever getting back together"; clearly I'm too nice.]

It’s important to me that you acknowledge some of the things that I’ve said here. I don’t want to hear that you’re sorry for how you’ve made me feel, because that doesn’t help me.

Later that week (March 2nd, as a matter of fact, when I was in the middle of trying to get to know Cuddlebug - that was why I was in such a weird place mentally that evening and got him to ramble at me about marijuana legalization), I received this response and could barely make it through the whole thing without bursting into flames. Not a lot of commentary because I just funneled it all straight into my response.

Dear [Pabulum],

That is the most painful thing I’ve ever read, though I can’t imagine how painful it must have been for you to go through. I... I just didn’t know. I didn’t realize how hostile this environment had become. i didn’t realize how I had become.

[Mutual friend] and I recently discussed how you and I made each other happy. I was able to readily list off the ways you made me happy, but when it came to the ways I made you happy, I was at a loss. It hurt so much to realize how little I’ve done for you. Your happiness is the most important thing in the world to me and I’ve neglected it. You are a beautiful, delicate flower and you deserve to be treated with love and respect.

The reason my first question was about someone else is layered. Mostly, it’s from my own insecurities. I saw you had taken the sex stuff and my imagination went berserk. It was also out of fear, which I guess is part of my insecurities. I was aware there were problems, but we had lived with them for so long I had thought we were managing. I felt we had fallen into a rhythm and that the problems either weren’t so bad or would be dealt with when they became bad enough.

My letter was focused on me because that’s all I knew. To me, this seemed to come out of the blue. I had no idea where you were coming from and, as such, wasn’t able to see your perspective. Now that I know your perspective, I’m looking at and grappling with some very hard truths.

I don’t know who I am anymore. I thought I had control over my anger. I thought I was loving and caring. Now I’m realizing I may not have control over my emotions like I’d thought. I’m realizing the love and care wasn’t being expressed in a way that worked for you. I’ve started seeing a counselor and we’re working on these things.

It hurts so deeply to hear you fear me like you did your father. I didn’t know that you felt so unsafe. I don’t want to be the kind of person you have to hide yourself from. I’d noticed a change in you in the last month or so. When I asked you about it, you told me it was work or that you weren’t sleeping well. I just didn’t know how serious it was.

I want you to be you. You are the most brilliant, beautiful, special person I know. I want you to see your friends. I want you to write honestly and be creative. The art you create is magnificent. Your tiny kitchen [Last summer I built a small scale model kitchen out of stuff we had around the house with the intention of making tiny stop-motion baking videos with a Darth Vader action figure. I'm amazing and I still want to do this.] and tarot business completely blow me away. I didn’t realize how taxing caring for me was. I want my well-being to be my responsibility. It was wrong to make it yours.

Any time I was judgmental about a friend of yours or something you were watching or listening to came from a place of insecurity. I don’t like [Meeko Neko] because I’m afraid you’ll see something in him that I don’t have and leave me for him. I don’t like Nostalgia Critic because he’s successful at something I felt I used to do well. I’m petty and small and unhappy with my own lack of success. I shit on these things you like because I can’t accept my own failings. This is not who I want to be.

[I can't explain to you how upset I was by the continued mention of our relationship in the present tense. I don't bring this up in my response.]

I’m beginning to realize how unhealthy my relationship to sex is. When I was a kid, my father was far too open about his sexual exploits. This damaged me in a way that made me afraid to talk about sex and I think it warped my view of what sex is. I know how difficult sex can be for you, but without having experienced the kind of trauma you have, I have a hard time fully understanding. Since I’ve started taking the antipsychotics, my relationship to sex has changed. Not only has it significantly diminished my sex drive, it has changed the way I feel when we’ve gone long periods without. It’s making me start to think that my sex drive and views toward sex may have been part of my psychosis. You say my reaction to you saying “no” was anger, frustration, and entitlement. I can’t imagine how horrifying that must have been for you. Consent has always been important to me and I feel awful for putting you in a position where you felt unsafe.

I don’t think at any point in our relationship you told me to stop during sex. I believe now that there may have been times when you wanted to stop but didn’t out of fear. You were always in control. I would have stopped immediately. I don’t know what my reaction would have been, but anger or frustration would have been inappropriate.

I remember when you presented the book. I don’t recall refusing counseling, but I was a fool for refusing either. The book had scared me. I hadn’t known you were going to a sex therapist. Like I said, due to the way my father talked about sex, I’m embarrassed/ashamed to talk about sex. At the time, I was too afraid to do the work needed. I thought I was sexually okay and that the problem was with you. I’m beginning to realize that’s not the case.

I want you to be happy and healthy. Not for me, but because it’s what you deserve.

Your boundaries and triggers are incredibly important to me. It was never my intent to make you relive your trauma. We had communicated some of your boundaries and triggers, but not clearly enough for me to see what was happening. I would never have put you through what you went through if I had known.

I want to understand what you’re going through. Your happiness is paramount.

Yours forever,

[Dr. Strangelove]

Two short days later, fueled by several friends and the spiritual energy of a Cuddlebug who loves a good dramatic missive, I fired off this response, which did not change much from my first draft.

You’re not going to like this letter, and I’m not going to apologize.

I’m having a hard time coming up with any kind of reaction to your letter that isn’t just frustration and anger. I’m shocked at the idea that you actually believe some of the things you said.

Your letter didn’t really pose any questions, so I’m not sure what you want me to respond to. This one will have a lot, but they’re mostly rhetorical; just things for you to think about. What I’m saying is, you don’t have to write me back.

There were definitely some things that bothered me about your phrasing, and I don’t know if it’s that your tone isn’t coming off right or what.

I want you to know that at no point in our relationship did I feel like my happiness was as important to you as your own. If that were the case, why wasn’t I back in school? Why weren’t we in Colorado? Why wasn’t I in therapy?

Because you put up barriers to those things for me; things you wanted or needed that were more pressing, more urgent, more of a priority. Or you just refused to participate in anything that would have been necessary to make them happen.

You told me that it was my fault that you couldn’t quit smoking because I wasn’t able to handle you being an absolute raging asshole to me for however many weeks/months it would take you to get through the nicotine withdrawals, and when I tried to explain that I thought that was a bananas argument, you sent me links to academic articles and told me I “just don’t understand addiction”. The same way that you responded when you felt like I wasn’t being sensitive enough to your ADHD or your attachment style. Here, do some homework and be better at this; I’m not going to explain it to you. To say that you neglected my happiness is an understatement; you trampled it.

I am not a delicate flower. I physically recoiled at reading those words from you. Do you have any idea how strong I’ve had to be, because I wasn’t allowed to be weak? Because I had to keep it together for you? Because we couldn’t afford the therapy I need? Because I had to pick myself up off the floor and make dinner? Because I had to put on a smile so that I didn’t have to manage your emotional response to me not being okay? You don’t get to say that to me.

I cannot believe the number of times you just made me read the words “I didn’t notice” and “I didn’t realize” and “I didn’t mean to” with my own eyes...it’s giving lip-service to the idea of taking responsibility while somehow managing to take no responsibility at all. Where were you, then, while you weren't noticing or realizing or meaning to do all these things? What did you think your role was in the relationship? What did you see yourself as contributing?

“I was aware there were problems, but we had lived with them for so long I had thought we were managing. I felt we had fallen into a rhythm and that the problems either weren’t so bad or would be dealt with when they became bad enough.”

Okay but. Do you not see how much of an issue that is? That your reaction to knowing there were problems was basically ‘Meh I guess I’ll deal with that later if I have to’? When would it have been “bad enough”? Was my depression and anxiety not enough? My lack of motivation? My inability to enjoy anything? My constant nosebleeds? Did I need to be suicidal for you to take me seriously?

Your threshold for noticing and being bothered enough by things to be prompted to act to change them is…surprisingly high. It’s like you didn’t care any more about my/our happiness than you did about the dishes piled up in the sink, pushing them out of the way when necessary but leaving them there in a stinking, moldy heap until someone else (me) dealt with them, saying you couldn’t because it was too difficult for you. That you’d rather throw everything out than go through the unpleasantness of cleaning them.

“I thought I had control over my anger. I thought I was loving and caring.”

The absence of anger doesn’t make you a better person, or a better partner. It made you numb, like once it was gone there was nothing left. It made you zone out to the point where sometimes I would try to talk to you and five minutes would go by before you’d ask “wait, did you say something?” because you were so engrossed in whatever video game you were playing that it was like I didn’t even show up on your radar as something you needed to pay attention to.

“I’d noticed a change in you in the last month or so. When I asked you about it, you told me it was work or that you weren’t sleeping well. I just didn’t know how serious it was.”

Why do you think I wasn’t sleeping well? I would wake up in the middle of the night and my mind would start racing, adrenaline pumping with the frustration and anxiety of being seemingly the only one concerned about me and us and our situation and how things were going and where things were going, and you just over there snoring away. So I’d go lie on the couch and try to talk things through with myself, and when that didn’t work I’d get up and wash my face and wait for other people to wake up so I could talk it through with them.

I couldn’t tell you what I was feeling, because you weren’t listening. It was always so hard to open up to you. Whenever I did, I’d end up having to comfort you; you couldn’t just be there for me. Everything became about you. I couldn’t talk to you about how you made me feel, because you’d cry and guilt me and tell me that I was making you feel like an asshole and I must hate you. I couldn’t talk about sex I’d had with anyone else because it made you feel insecure, even when there were important things there that you needed to know. I couldn’t talk in detail about my abuse or my triggers because it made you uncomfortable and you told me you didn’t want those thoughts in your head while you were with me. Yeah. No kidding. Must be nice.

I don’t know where you’ve been the last couple of years. You didn’t want to do anything or go anywhere. I made suggestion after suggestion, and when the time came to make plans, you didn’t want to, because it would require actually doing something. Even fun at-home date night ideas got trimmed down to just ordering slightly different food than normal, or Oh how about we invite a bunch of people over and ------ can cook while everyone hangs out on the balcony having fun and laughing without her. I have so many nice dresses that I bought years ago that are still brand new because I’ve never been able to wear them. I finally went to [Asian grocery store] and that conveyor belt sushi place and the Korean bakery. It wasn’t difficult. These things were not the insurmountable tasks that you made them out to be; they did not require months of planning or strategizing for the right time or mood. I just…went. And had fun.

You say my art is magnificent. Did you notice I stopped showing it to you? I worked on a piece for three days, I was so proud of it, and your response when I showed it to you was “You should probably start going to therapy again”. Do you know how much that crushed me?

My tiny kitchen blew you away. Did you notice I never did anything with it? Because I needed your help putting the walls up and doing the lighting, and it was never a good time for you.

My tarot business. Did you notice it always took place in the other room? You criticized me for using crystals, and when I tried to show you some of the documents that I’d been working on designing for hours, I noticed you go back to your Hearthstone game while I was talking.

You think you were supportive, but you weren’t.

I’m particularly struck that it wasn’t “I didn’t realize I was making you do everything”, but “I didn’t realize it was a problem to make you do everything”.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that any relationship isn’t always going to be an even 50/50 split, and there will always be times when one person will need to pick up the slack for the other, but over the years the pattern became that whenever you were struggling, I would take on more responsibilities or make more sacrifices, and they would immediately become expected of me from then on, but whenever I was struggling, I would have to specifically ask for any kind of help and it would be done a maximum of one time and was A Big Deal.

And what I’m hearing from you is that you were aware of this, and didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. That you were okay with the division of labor and everything that I was doing, and contributing as little as possible. Was it my letter that made you realize how taxing it was taking care of you, or the fact that I’m not around to do it now?

It’s good that you’re going to counseling now, though I definitely thought you were already. Maybe you can bring up some of these things.

You got mad at me when I wasn’t confident in your Bipolar diagnosis. [The Hitter] was undiagnosed bipolar when we got together, and spent our entire relationship terrorizing me in ways that I still haven’t recovered from. I didn’t want to believe that it was a trap I could have fallen into twice. He also isolated me, kept me from seeing my friends and family so we could spend all of our time with his. Cried during every argument we had and told me he didn’t know what he’d do without me. Humiliated me in front of other people for getting upset. Reminded me that his mother didn’t love him because he was premature. Kept me awake until I was too tired to say no to whatever he wanted. Forced me to have sex no matter how much I fought or struggled or protested, or if I kept reading my book or playing on my phone because I wanted so badly to not be there.

Were you taking notes when I told you about these things, or is there some kind of newsletter?

He called me from the psychiatric hospital after he tried to hang himself in his closet, and his family wouldn’t let me see him because they thought it was my fault. Because he told them it was my fault. They put him on Lithium. The next time he wanted to kill himself he tried harder, and called me from the hospital again on a Tuesday morning while I was in class and described to me in nauseating detail how he had smashed a hand mirror against the side of the bathroom sink, taken the largest chunk he could find, and used it to carve up both of his arms as much as he could, hoping they wouldn’t be able to stitch him back together. How the blood pooled around him. I can still see it in my mind as if I was there watching when it happened. It was still my fault.

“Any time I was judgmental about a friend of yours or something you were watching or listening to came from a place of insecurity.”

This is a scapegoat answer and I don’t accept it. Full stop.

When it comes to [Meeko Neko], sure. But love is about completion, not competition. Why was it not acceptable for me to love you both, for the different things that you offer? Do you think I didn’t see things in other people that were different from you? That’s the whole point of people.

Nostalgia Critic...okay, I guess? I like NC because he reminds me of [The Octopus]; they have very similar comedic timing and delivery. You know this, I told you this. I miss [The Octopus] very much. [Side note because I don't super intend to talk about this elsewhere: In the year or so after we broke up, The Octopus' life went in some weird directions that weren't really compatible with us remaining friends. She moved away and I haven't seen or really spoken to her in years]

But that’s two things, out of a mountain. Country music? Degrassi? RuPaul’s Drag Race? Forensic Files? The Masked Singer? The Haunting of Hill House? Hootie and the Blowfish? Business Blaze? Any horror movie? These things have nothing to do with not being able to accept your own failings.

I daresay your insecurities aren’t behind why you’d stand around and criticize and heckle things I tried to watch, unless it was just the insecurity of me enjoying a thing that you didn’t recommend. Or why you’d insist I turn off music you didn’t like. Or why it wasn’t okay that I don’t like the Beatles. Or why you had to charitably accept that I don’t like New York-style pizza. Or why Fleet Foxes suck and I should just listen to The Who instead. The Mars Volta sucks and I should just listen to The Flaming Lips instead - everything is so binary with you; it has to either be something you’re into or it’s terrible. Or the jokes you’d made about me being white trash. That is not the way you treat someone you love and respect; that is the way you treat someone when you’re trying to make them feel small and dumb and shitty about themselves.

You once said to me [in a really disgusted way, during our first year together] “Your friends are weird. All the bisexuality and polyamory and transgender. I mean, there was the sexual revolution, and then there’s this,” and that stuck with me, because the way I see it, my friends are honest with themselves and with the world about who they are and what they have/want with themselves, their identities, other people, etc. and I think it’s beautiful. My friends deserve to feel comfortable; I’m not going to bring them around someone that’s going to be judging them the whole time.

I’m also not going to feel comfortable being myself or expressing myself in the ways that I want to. I couldn’t spend time with my friends around you because you have such a different view of physical affection that I knew it would make you uncomfortable to see me hugging someone else or sitting close to someone else or someone having their arm around me - things that are not wrong or sexual, but I would still feel guilty about because of how you would perceive them. It’s not healthy to expect someone to rely so fully on one person for all of their love and affection. You don’t get to own someone, police all of their actions with others, and also refuse to make any kind of commitment to them. [8 years of dating and he made it very clear that he had no intention of ever marrying me or having kids, and was in fact super uncomfortable any time the subject of weddings, marriage, wedding dresses, engagement rings, etc. came up in any context, regardless of who we were talking to.]

A friend [Baymax, for the record] pocket-dialed me recently while they were playing Wii Bowling with their family, and hearing how much fun they were having made me miss my friends and family so much that I burst into tears. I can’t believe how isolated I’ve been. How starved for company, for comfort, for affection. I forgot how social I was, how much I liked just being around different people and being able to relax and have fun and not worry that I was going to get a lecture later about my behavior.

“At the time, I was too afraid to do the work needed. I thought I was sexually okay and that the problem was with you.”

I guess it’s good to know that this was in fact intentional on your part, which is what I was afraid of. But the thing is, even if that were the case, it’s not something I could have just fixed on my own. I don’t understand what you thought was going to happen. It would have required both of us to understand the problem(s) and work on them or figure out how to work around them. It was never going to happen without your buy-in. One person cannot fix the problems in a relationship alone, even if they were the sole cause of them, because a relationship is (supposed to be) about the dynamic between two people. You can't just send me in to get my sex drive boosted like a Stepford Wife.

“Consent has always been important to me...I don’t think at any point in our relationship you told me to stop during sex. I believe now that there may have been times when you wanted to stop but didn’t out of fear. You were always in control. I would have stopped immediately. I don’t know what my reaction would have been, but anger or frustration would have been inappropriate.”

The impudence. The audacity. The unmitigated gall.

I don’t see how there’s any way you could believe this; it honestly feels like you’re trying to gaslight me.

Every single time that I told you I didn’t want to, and you didn’t accept that as a complete answer. That I told you I felt gross and bad. All the times you begged and pleaded and whined until I gave in, and then you couldn’t perform because (shocker) I didn’t seem interested. All of the “what if you just lie there while I do stuff to you?”. When you’d tell me not to wear shorts if I didn’t want to have sex, or complain how difficult it was to lie next to me and not be able to use my body. Guilting me by telling me how much physical pain you were in from not having sex. Stomping around the house and slamming doors complaining about your sexual frustration. Any time that I said I didn’t think I would be up for it, and your response was “well why don’t we just do this,” and then “why don’t we do a little more” and “we might as well just have sex now, look how worked up I am”. That’s coercion. A lot of it is vaguely threatening. Some of it is damn near rape. And it fucking sucks.

The breadth and depth of things that were Not Okay between us has become increasingly clear to me in the last month. I’ve had so many conversations with friends and family recently where I’ll casually mention a thing I’d gotten used to or something I’d like the opportunity to do, and they’ll look at me with an expression of confusion and disbelief and I’ll sigh and close my eyes while they wait for an explanation. So many “Wait, what?” or “No, why would I ever do that?”

It’s been exhausting trying to untangle everything. I’ve had more (not to mention more productive) discussions about my boundaries in the last two weeks than we did in the last 8 years.

Let me just say. I sympathize about your dad being too open about his sexual exploits; really I do - I’ve been around it and it’s gross and uncomfortable. But don’t compare that to the things I’ve been through. It’s honestly so obtuse and insulting to me that you would even talk about those things in the same breath; it’s apples and oranges.

You’re right, you don’t understand what it’s like. Your dad gave you confused ideas about sex; mine gave me sex. I wasn't old enough to read when I started being violated. You don’t know how many years I spent feeling unsafe in my own bed. In my own body. Dissociating so that it could be happening to someone else. Unable to have any kind of normal interaction with my father because I didn’t know if he was just trying to groom me or touch me or sexualize me in some way. Too worried to get undressed even to go to sleep. Showering in my clothes. Afraid of being drugged again. Having to shave myself for him. Being forced to watch sounding porn. Dealing with the shame of my body reacting in ways I didn’t want it to. Deleting the videos he took of me. Having pictures of my body used as currency. Lying to everyone because I felt guilty and disgusting. Feeling the betrayal of the one person who was supposed to be a paragon of security in my life being the one doing the most damage. You. don’t. know.

The time for my boundaries and triggers to be important to you has passed. It’s unfortunate that it had to come to this for you to get some perspective, but hopefully you’re able to learn and grow, for your sake.

Shockingly, he hasn't responded.

#okcupid #dating #poly #online dating #dating app #tinder #spotify #men are trash #Spotify #unhealthy relationships #relationships #relationship #breakup #moving on #boundaries #emotional abuse

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