#fun fact the note i wrote for the “all lives are important” quote is literally just “GIRLLL WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUUUU” lmao

[jetcorax]

he'll burn himself down

gotta love a good fall from grace

magali villeneuve, greater good cover

lesser evil by timothy zahn

greater good by timothy zahn

lesser evil by timothy zahn

luke ross and nolan woodward, thrawn (2018)

thrawn: alliances by timothy zahn

pat olliffe, andrea di vito, and rachelle rosenberg, thrawn: alliances (2024)

star wars: rebels, "family reunion - and farewell"

thrawn: treason by timothy zahn

chaos rising by timothy zahn

star wars: rebels, "family reunion - and farewell"

[blackberry-gingham]

The love language concept sounds interesting! I’d say George’s love language/the way he shows love is physical touch, Paul’s is receiving gifts, Ringo’s is positive affirmation mixed with quality time, and tbh I’m not to sure for John. maybe acts or service or quality time for him?

Mwahaha, you've fallen into my trap! The truth is I wanted to do this topic more or less for myself, but felt bad bc I still have a few requests left to do. So thank you for sending in a "request" for me so that I can do one out of order real quick >:3

Lol but really tho, thank you for humoring me and these are good! I could honestly see all of these, but for John I'd say acts of service with you, bc the "To Do" stuff just sounds like his character tbh, but maybe also I feel like there's some physical touch too???

Ik I've heard that John kind of actually didn't like being touched, but I mean... If you look at literally any picture of him with Yoko, he's always at least holding her hand, if not just totally draped all over her lol, so I'm assuming for an S/O it's totally different!

But anyway, here's some headcannons real quick and then back to requests. Thanks everyone!

---

George

Honestly? I feel like George would just not be able to keep his hands off you

Like, not necissarily in a sexual way (although that too, if you're in the mood lol), it's just that he loves to let you and everyone else know you're his

He's not all too shy about it either lol

I mean obviously he saves the more lovey dovey stuff for private places, but in public he still has a lot to offer

Everytime he sees you he kisses you either on the cheek, forehead, or mouth and then pulls you in for a hug

Always

Then the rest of the time, as long as he doesn't have to be working, he likes to hold your hand and play with your hair

And if he's feeling a little risqué, he likes to let you sit on his lap and cuddle against him

In private tho...

Oh, he is all over you!!!

You are his sanctuary and safe haven away from the public eye and the daily grind that comes with being a Beatle

I've seen quite a few quotes from geo lamenting the fact that he and the others had literally no private life thanks to their stardom

So yeah, believe me when I say he could live a thousand years and still never feel like he could repay you for giving him the rest and love he needs

He'd be like a long, giant cat. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, if he has an opportunity to snuggle up to you, he takes it

And if he's not exhausted, and if you let him !! he likes to just touch and kiss your body and face

Having that closeness and intimacy is so important to him, he wants to let you know how deeply he loves you

All of you

And of course, the best way you can return his love language back to him is by returning the intimacy he does for you!

When in Rome, after all

Honestly, just by accepting his offers when he initiates a request to hold your hand or hug or cuddle, he already appreciates that!

But if you initiate any of those things, he's definitely feeling the love!!

Although, one thing you like to do a bit different is giving massages

Of course George would certainly give you one if you asked!

But since he's usually tired, either mentally or physically, from always being on the go, you like to do him a favor lol

And he loves it

Seriously, you've never seen a man more blissed out then George gets over something as simple as a back or scalp massage

Assuming he doesn't fall asleep under the spell of your skillful fingers, he repays you with kisses or cuddles after :)

John

Ok idk if I'm like projecting, or reaching, or SOMETHING along those lines, but I feel like of all the boys, John is probably the one most looking for a true partner, as in like his other half

Paul is very close behind with his relationship with Linda, but for John it always came off as a need for him, more then like a want or nice thing to have

So anyway, all this to say that as far as acts of service goes, I think he gets a lot of security out of receiving this!

Like, whenever John's feeling particularly stressed or overwhelmed having you there to approach the issues with an objective mindset is a HUGE relief

Really, like I cannot stress this enough

Phrases like, "What can I do to take some pressure off for you?"

Or, "Well what if we just focus on x for now, and then we can take care of y and z tomorrow?"

All give him such a powerful sense of relief

And of course, the way that you, you know, actually follow up on your word, makes him fall even deeper in love with you then he thought possible

Now on the other hand, is physical touch

While this is a part of his love language cocktail, John likes to express this one a bit more then he likes to receive it

You see, unlike George, John is a little more reserved with his PDA

He will kiss you and hold your hand of course! But unfortunately his anxiety is a thing, so as much as he hates it, he has to reserve his physical affection for more private settings

But when you two are alone, he's like puddy in your hands!

He likes to just hold you a lot

It doesn't matter if you're preoccupied with something else, like a book or the telly, he just wants to have physical contact with you

And if you can do any of those things cuddled up on his lap or against his chest, even better!

But also, John definitely loves to get that energy back

He likes it when you give him cute little kisses and pet his head

I think he'd also like it if you rubbed his temples or the bridge of his nose/third eye lol

Wearing glasses all day can get uncomfortable you know!!

I think if you can establish that trust and physical closeness, that's when you'd also get a return on his acts of service

Really, if you've bonded this deeply with John he'd do literally anything for you

Whatever you need, whatever you want, if he can do it he will and if he can't he'll find a way to do it anyway!

He'd be loyal to a fault and love you forever after

Paul

Please tell me why I could see Paul being your sugar daddy on the low 😭😭

Really, like he just likes to spoil you!

Honestly if someone showed me proof that the real actual, 78 year old, 2021 Paul McCartney uses stacks of hundred dollar bills as tinder for his fireplace, I literally wouldn't even blink

Like even back in the day, he's got that Beatles' money baby !!! and he.... Kinda doesn't care for it, actually

I personally don't think any of the boys come across as like money hungry or something like that, but I could see Paul especially figuring that he might as well use all this dumb money to buy you things you like!

It may feel overwhelming to be on the receiving end of so many random, but expensive gifts tbh

You might even tell him to stop or that he doesn't have to do all that!!

I think he'd be able to understand that overwhelming you with nice things kinda has the opposite effect of what he's intending, but....

He just gets a little carried away sometimes lol

I mean growing up he didn't have all that much, and even now, like obviously nice things are nice, but meh

What he really wants to do is make sure you're enjoying the high life too!

I could see him doing more of writing you songs and music instead so that he can still fulfil his desire to give, should you feel uncomfortable with the fancy gifts

But yeah, if you're uncomfortable he totally would get that and dial back the materialism, but if you don't mind, then he doesn't either!!

Now you might be wondering how you, a delightfully average person, could impress Paul McCartney with a gift giving love language...

I mean, what do you give the man who has everything?

Well I'd tell you this... It's simple!

You could bring him literally anything that you find meaningful and be like "This made me think of you!" or "I just thought you'd like this!" and he'll love it!

He would definitely run up some organized collections of the little things you've given him

He has some dedicated display boxes for all the random, shiny rocks and pebbles you've found

A little filing drawer of all the notes you've ever wrote him

And if you like art or photography, he'd decorate his personal spaces with your work!

Of course he'd appreciate traditional gifts too tho

Like a watch or bass strings or a new tie ect ect

But the thing for you to not get caught up on is the price!

That doesn't matter to him :)

He likes your gifts bc they came from you!

Ringo

Ok, positive affirmation is definitely a big thing for Ringo

He gets roasted a lot by the boys and even the media, and all in good fun I suppose, but after a while enough is enough you know?

Not to mention, he just feels a bit... Lesser then?? Compared to the others and their musical talent

So the poor guy really needs a break!

Literally, even just little one word sentences of encouragement mean sooo much to him

"I'm so proud of you Ritchie!"

"That sounded wonderful!"

"You've done a great job today at the studio, good work!"

Stuff like that makes him melt

Of course he also appreciates the more conventional things like "I love you" and when you call him handsome!

And as for the spending quality time, that comes easily!

Ringo looooves to take you out on dates!

Now yes, there's your typical movie date, dinner, dancing, all that

But his favorite things to do is go on little adventures!

He takes you to the park, the beach, out to explore thrift and consignment stores, and anywhere else you want to check out!

However, not everyone wants to run around outside 24/7

So in the house, he likes doing things that you two can do together!

Painting is a big one, seeing as it's his other hobby, but it could honestly be anything, like puzzles, board games, or just watching TV!

I'm trying to think of how he'd return the words words of affirmation side of his love language, but I think it would be a little harder for him to do then expressing quality time tbh

You just make him so darn shy!

What with all your good looks and kindness, he just feels a little overwhelmed

Have you ever seen a work of art, or architecture, or even a landscape so breathtaking that you don't really know where to start when describing it to someone?

Yeah, it's like that

He definitely wants to try tho!

I think he'd stick to simple things like complimenting your outfits and praising your work or personal projects you show him!

He's worried that that comes across as just common decency tho, so he says "I love you" a lot and tries to make up for his bad way with words with quality time

[pompompurin1028]

Oh yes! I also loved that the “enemy” was their own selves, it made them contemplate on a lot of things, such as Atsushi finally accepting his tiger and Kyouka finally finding peace in her Demon Snow😌

And really? :o It’s been a few minutes that I finished the book (I’ll probably have to do a whole other ask about it because-😭😭) but I completely missed that parallelism!!

Yes, Atsushi😭 I really wouldn’t be able to trust him at that point, even now I still can’t bring myself to completely forgive Dazai- he risked his friends’ lives (his own as well) and even though I know he wasn’t the “villain” I have complex thoughts about his situation😖 Like, what if someone from ADA died? Would he have been able to forgive himself? What about the others, would THEY be OK with this? Many ability users died, was there really no other way to do this? I have so many questions🥺

I found a thorough analysis and explanation on Tumblr, I hope it clears the situation about Dazai because that’s where lies my main confusion 😤

Oh that Lupin bar scene killed me..😭 It was truly heartbreaking 💔

I would love to see what analyses you used to understand it better!! ^^

And Akutagawa🥺 I.. I truly don’t know, but something really clicked in me about him with this movie. I think it happened when I saw him lose his ability and fight against it, also to see that he has some kind of humour was so refreshing (in the tiger vs Rashōmon scene where he was all like “oh let’s get our popcorn” like🙃) This might maybe sound weird but I loved seeing him helpless, it.. made me remember that he was human, maybe? I loved seeing him obliged for once to rely on his own intelligence and body instead of Rashōmon. It made me grow closer to him.

I think that’s it🤔 As I said, please don’t worry about responding to these, do it whenever you have time❤️ I love reading what you have to say, but please take your time, I’m already so grateful that you’re spending time to talk to me!!🥰

Yes!! I loved that part so much😭 They're all facing their pasts and trying to confront them and honestly it is just so heart warming!!

And yes there is a parallelism which I myself saw! It was at the end of the movie, which parallels to the prologue of the book! The prologue😭, ahh that's my favorite part of the book. Anyways, in the prologue of No Longer Human, we see a woman saying that Yozo was an angel, a good boy. This is symbolic of someone, at least one person, being able to see the goodness in Yozo despite all the faults he sees in himself. (side note/aka me talking about the book: I loved this part so much because it is the first time in the book that we see a 2nd eye describe Yozo to us, as the whole book is literally written in the biased opinion of Yozo. Who is not a reliable narrator at all, as mentioned in my answer yesterday, Yozo sees himself as a criminal, he is ashamed of himself, he is therefore extremely critical of himself, and is almost blinded to his better side -- his sensitivity, and in a sense his "gentleness". As seen from one of quotes that really interested me: "the weak fear happiness itself. they can harm themselves on cotton wool. sometimes they are even wounded by happiness". This honestly reminds of Wan!)

Anyways, back to my point! That woman who does see the good in Yozo, does it not parallel with Atsushi who says that he still believes that Dazai is a good person? Despite 'betraying' them for his plan? Despite the worst Yozo sees in himself? I feel like Dazai's shock in this scene parallels to the fact that Yozo doesn't see it in himself in the novel as well.

And honestly, Atsushi's trust in Dazai😭 It warms my heart. Yes, I feel like I would be also quite doubtful about Dazai as well if I were to be met with this situation myself. I'm sorry Dazai😖. But- this gave me a parallel to the short story by Dazai-sensei called Run, Melos! Actually not the short story itself, but the Greek myth story Damon and Pythias, the story that the short story was based on! The original story that Dazai-sensei based it on talked about trust between two friends and how one of them trusted his other friend to come back in time to save him right till the end. But in Dazai-sensei's version, he changed it. He wrote about the doubts that the friend had, it is as if it were saying that he didn't believe in the fact that humans can trust others so fully, right till the very end. And yet, Atsushi did it. What does this mean? Maybe I'll talk about it soon in my analysis hehe.

And as for Dazai. I personally think he wouldn't be able to forgive himself if that happened. But it also breaks my heart the amount of pressure he puts on himself to make sure that everything goes according to plan; as well as the extent that he will go, to villianize himself, even if it meant that the people whom he is closest to will doubt him, in order to make sure that his plan succeeds. (which is one of the reason why Atsushi is so important). This analysis also talks about it too☺ start at the point in which they talk about Dazai being more so a chemist. (I have so many analyses up my sleeve😅)

And ahh I'm so glad that it helped you understand it better!!

And as for Aku, in my pov, he's always been human. He's stubborn, yet insecure, he wants to be accepted, to have someone to tell him that he is strong enough to have the right to live. But Dead Apple definitely showed more of Aku's qualities. His intelligence, and his strength, one that doesn't require his abilities, which I also really like☺ Also rashomon vs the tiger was quite entertaining ngl haha

And thank you so much🥰 It makes me so happy to have you ask these questions! I have so much fun analyzing and thinking about these things! And I'm so happy to know that you like hearing my rambling what I have to say😂

[kayliemusing]

37

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? - I think a few hours ago lol

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? - how does it everything work out in the end

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? - i don't really have one yet

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? - When I was 8, my family and I were driving home from the christmas eve service. It was snowing big fluffy snowflakes and i was in a sparkly dress in the backseat. rascal flatts was playing 'god bless the broken road' on the radio and we were all sitting in this really nice content silence.

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? - I think I'd try to do more, go out more, experience more, write more.

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? - Write a novel(s) / write successful novels - Fall in love - finally go to a taylor swift concert lol

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail. - My mom is someone I super close to. She has these vibrant blue eyes that literally carry an ocean of good things. She has a warm soul and she always uses her energy to lift other people up or just to hold their hand when life is rocky.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood? - Yes

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person? - I don't remember. A while ago I think. Maybe like last september-ish and I only remember that because my job did a really not cool thing to me and I cried when I told my mom and then cried when I told my best friend lol

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them. - My mom because we could talk about life while stargazing.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them? - maybe. if i felt super comfortable with them and it was the right time for it, then probably.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? - I don't know, actually. Probably not since high school or roughly around then bc i'm always asleep by 10 pm lol. it was probably with one of my friends.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? - I'd probably tell my mom thank you for everything she's done and had to sacrifice for me/our family, and i'd tell her i loved her.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes? - Beautiful! Bright! Lovely! God tier! Wow!

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. - "I couldn't get the boy to kill me but I wore his jacket for the longest time" by Richard Siken. First of all, this quote makes me like !!!!! just exclamation marks!!!! I think I just love the poetry and the subtext in this quote, because it's kind of like being haunted by this boy was in itself its own kind of death. So like yeah you didn't kill me, but you haunt me instead.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? - What The Hell Is This: a memoir by me

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars? - Buy a house and move to a different city, invest a lot of it, buy a car, buy another cat, send money to charity, quit my job.

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way? - I'm a forgiving person when I feel like someone is worth forgiving, which I kind of don't like about myself because I don't know if that's necessarily the right thing. I don't like that I feel like people have to earn forgiveness, but if I'm hurt by someone or someone has hurt someone I love, I tend to hold grudges and I will especially hold grudges if the hurt or offense is never addressed. But if someone were to apologize and I felt like they were sincere and they gave me a good explanation for the actions, I'm definitely forgiving then.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self. - n/a

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? - pastel

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. - I don't mind some tattoos and piercings, but I don't like tons of piercings and I definitely don't like tattoo sleeves or anything like that lol. You do you, but I could never lol.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not? - Generally, yeah. It depends on my mood that day. Sometimes I'll wear a full face, other times I'll do bare minimum or nothing at all. Makeup makes me feel nice and it can really make your features pop.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. - Taylor Swift baby. Taylor has been such an inspiration to me as a writer and a human being. I think she sees the world very vividly and very romantically, and I love that about her. I love that she's kind-natured, even when the world tries to put a masochistic spin on her, she's simply just good. I love her honestly and vulnerability in her story-telling, and I love the work-ethic and careful creativity that's in her work. On a more personal note, her music feels like contentment and joy, and sometimes nostalgia. I started listening to her music in the fifth/sixth grade but I remember when Speak Now came out and at that time I was starting to get into writing and I could really see that she was a writer too so I clung to her, and then Red was released while my dad was fighting cancer and that album was just something I really pressed into as a means of comfort and escape and I'm so glad that I had her music lean on.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them. - *mind goes blank*

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. - I haven't actually been to a concert that's really impacted me meaningfully because I've never gone to anyone I legitimately wanted to see lol. When I was 10, I went to a Jonas Brothers concert with my sister who was a bigger fan of them than I was and I do remember it being a good time. Then when I was 15, my best friend took me to marianas trench because our other friend baled so she had a spare ticket. It was a really good show and it actually made me get into their music more than I had been before which was awesome.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? - I would love it if taylor swift wrote me a letter and I honestly wouldn't care what she wrote in it as long as it was something nice lol

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised? - I used to have a work space in my room but I moved the desk upstairs to our office. Now I just write in my room and that for me looks like a made up bed, a nightstand with a candle, and a vanilla-scented lamp to create a warm cozy atmosphere.

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine? - I usually write in the evening and then maybe I'll watch youtube or I'll listen to music or scroll through tiktok lol. Then I put on my pj's, skincare routine, brush teeth, and I go to bed (where I end up reading for half the night but whatevs)

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? - I'm pretty open with my mom so I don't think there's anything she doesn't know about me lol.

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? - I wouldn't mind dying my tips pink or blue just because I think that's a universally cute look. As for styling it, probably what I do now, maybe curl it a little more.

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do? - I don't think I even know five people (that i'm close to) yikes

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them. - I wish for success, because I always feel like a failure or inadequate in someway - I wish to fall in love, because I'd like to know it at least once - I wish to be able to write again in a way that makes me happy, because I feel like I keep disappointing myself and I just want that creative freedom again

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up. - I've never done anything super creative lol but one year I dressed like a bumble bee and I loved that costume because it was a little frilly dress with wings.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? - fun fact I've never been drunk or high

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? - Anything that involves killing or spiders

storms: you can only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why? - All too well by taylor swift baby

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love. - I have not fallen in love before but I imagine it feels like contentment and coming home.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? - I wouldn't do really short hair, but my favourite hair cuts on me was a short bob.

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? - Just your standard white hot chocolate, and i'd trust anyone to order it for me bc it's not that difficult lol

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now? - My writing / my career I think

[gh0stbird]

Okay Now Do The Rest

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Bright but argumentative. I was never afraid of pointing out things I didn’t feel were fair hfhddh

When we were learning numbers kids would often write 91 for nineteen, just flip them, y’know, and Ms. Potter yelled at the class for it. Baby Generiq went into it about how it was an understandable mix up because you do say the number first. In twenty-three you write the two first, so in nineteen it’s easy to assume you would write the nine first.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Tired.

8. movies or tv shows?

TV shows. Every book adaptation should also be a series not a movie. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Honeysuckle and sunshine

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Floor hockey! My friend and I used to be brutal and swing at each other’s shins going after the ball. Also it was reminiscent of golf, which I competed in.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

I have an untitled playlist I cycle my current music in and out of, but Newton’s Third Law is my favorite named one!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

I don’t- I guess the yellow smarties. Don’t come for me they taste like lemonade.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

I assume this means assigned book and not the reports we got to pick for ourselves. Ah, Night was good. Lord of the Flies was fine but way overhyped. Again, don’t come for me.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

If I can tuck my legs into the chair I am sitting in that is ideal!

18. ideal weather?

When you know it is going to rain and you get to stay home

19. sleeping position? (Skipped on accident)

I reeeally like pressure, so either against something or on my stomach.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone notes and a notebook! Sometimes a blank document but I always find it strangely intimidating

21. obsession from childhood?

Warrior Cats, Percy Jackson, and Maximum Ride were my big three!

22. role model?

Aa I try to straw from people I want to copy, but there are talents I look up to. Rachel Chavkin is a brilliant director, and there are so many artists and authors I look up to and who inspire me.

24. favorite crystal?

Obsidian because it’s black like my hea- I’m kidding, I do love obsidian, but it’s Rose Quartz because it’s a very very pretty, soft pink and makes me happy.

25. first song you remember hearing?

The mobile above my crib played Imagine by John Lennon. My childhood room was themed after it as well!

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Swim or sit in the sunshine. Ben and I usually go driving with the top down as well.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Walking through fresh snow is amazing, so are snowball fights and building snowmen.

28. five songs to describe you?

Oh fuck yes

Hurricane - Hamilton

The Reckless and the Brave - All Time Low

Almost There - The Princess and the Frog

All This and Heaven Too - Florence + the Machine

Facade - Jekyll and Hyde: A Gothic Musical Thriller

30. places that you find sacred?

I don’t typically find places sacred, but certain headspaces are very special to me, and time spent with loved ones means more than enough to be considered sacred.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

A black blazer with a white button-down and a skirt.

32. top five favorite vines?

I am in Missouri (misery)

I love you, Bitch

I want a Church girl

Obama’s “I know because I won both of them”

I won’t hesitate, Bitch!

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“No worries”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

That fucking PFI bandana boot sale I stg

35. average time you fall asleep?

Somewhere between 9:00 and three in the morning

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Some girl doing bunny ears on her friend. I don’t remember what the caption was

38. lemonade or tea?

Both. Mixed together. It’s called an Arnold Palmer and it is my favorite drink

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon cake!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

We duck taped out principal to the wall once. Also some kid broke their tray over another kid’s head at lunch one time.

41. last person you texted?

The family group chat, though Beau if Discord counts

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I wear a lot of leggings so jacket pockets!

44. favorite scent for soap?

We had some Lily of the Valley hand soap that was amazing

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy, I think! I’ve never done super heavy into the other two. Though I definitely don’t want to ignore sci-fi because two of my favorite stories are a little science-fiction-y

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

A t-shirt and shorts

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

A banana. Generally accepted as a fruit and kind of just rolls with it, but is actually a berry

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

I fucking hate Hamilton-ing on main, but

“And when my prayers to god were met with indifference, I picked up a pen, I wrote my own deliverance!”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

That changes every time Beau and I play HetaOni together, but I have fucking lost it for at least five minutes the last two sessions.

51. current stresses?

I dunno, man, life? My hair could use a wash

52. favorite font?

Covered by your Grace and I’m a big Spectral baby. These are both google docs! I don’t know if that makes a difference.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Patience is important when teaching material, but never be afraid to find another approach better suited to the person you’re tutoring.

55. favorite fairy tale?

Robin Hood!

56. favorite tradition?

My family does homemade Springfield cashew chicken for Christmas!

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Uhh lots of self-acceptance shit no one really wants to read

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

I can pop the joint at the center of my foot

That’s all

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

I sort of like my role as mom friend, so maybe I could keep that role in a sort of action-based anime that followed a group of friends

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“I am not the protégé to waste your time on; I'm complete!” Jekyll and Hyde: GMT

62. seven characters you relate to?

Haha

Lisa Carew - Jekyll and Hyde: GMT

Japan - Hetalia/Oni

Garnett - Steven Universe

Hfhddh that’s all I can say that aren’t my own characters

63. five songs that would play in your club?

I Don’t Like Clubs, but

Overwhelmed - Royal + The Serpent

Backseat Serenade - All Time Low

Go Big or Go Home - American Authors

The Nights - Avicii

Tempo - Lizzo

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Webkinz!

65. any permanent scars?

Yep - One from a bad bike wreck. My body rejected the dissolvable stitches so it’s a lot bigger than it was supposed to be

66. favorite flower(s)?

Lily of the Valley, daisies, Day Lilies, and Dandelions! I also love honeysuckles but I don’t know if those count.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Accidentally drank rancid milk once!

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? (Haha, nice)

The fastest, free way to fill up your potions on Wizard101 is to play Potion Motion to level three.

70. left or right handed?

Right handed

71. least favorite pattern?

On myself, animal print

72. worst subject?

I’ve never been intuitively good at History, I do think it’s interesting though.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

I don’t like to take it until I can’t move without it.

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

Kindergarten? I had mono and then scarlet fever twice, so my baby teeth were pretty much ruined and they all fell out very fast.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Curly fries!

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Kalanchoe’s, it literally Window’s Thrill. These babies are fairly temperamental outside and love partial sun, so the window is the perfect spot for them. And! If you keep them happy! They’ll bloom! My personal favorite is the pink bloom.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

What’s wrong with coffee from a gas station? Also I don’t like seafood.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth tones!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Lightning bugs

82. pc or console?

PC!

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts - talk radios actually tend to get under my skin for n o reason

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie, but let it be known I was brutal with mine. We did human sacrifices and the like.

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies, but I’m a slut for whipped frosting

87. your greatest fear?

Losing control!

88. your greatest wish?

A life beyond where I am now. Haha Stop chasing new down the hallway you’re so sexy haha

90. luckiest mistake?

Logged into Omegle in like 2015 and some rando asked me to join their Doctor Who roleplay. Luckiest moment of my gd life.

91. boxes or bags?

Bags! They’re easier to store

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight! But in the late afternoon when everything is bathed in orange.

93. nicknames?

Mom is the most prevalent!

94. favorite season?

Fall into winter. Peak leaf crunch!

95. favorite app on your phone?

Discord or Notes

[the-citrus-scale]

I respectfully disagree. Your articles have become increasingly negative over the last few months, as if you are discouraging fan creators, making them feel guilty for loving their fandom. You go looking for problems, in a fandom. I take issue with your statement that you are the only outlet that is positively supporting fan creators. You’re a bit full of yourself in that regard. You are definitely NOT the only outlet that supports those of us who create for the fandom community.

We’d like to apologize to our readers for this exceptionally long post.

We literally know of no one else who interviews fanfiction authors and treats them with any sort of respect. If there are other sites or communities, please let us know. We’d love to hear about them! As for the increasing negativity, see below for the actual statistics. You’ll see that your arguments do not hold up. 

6 weeks ago

We began our Relaunch Week as we transitioned from The Lemon Magazine to The Citrus Scale. 

“How Stranger Things Ruined My Life” 

Tone: Positive

Note(s): The title is clearly a joke. It listed all the wonderful ways that the Duffer Brothers and Shawn Levy have taught us that women are allowed to demand more of the media and entertainment they consume.  

“Chaotic Neutrals: The Walking Dead Edition” 

Tone: Critical

Note(s): For the purposes of this exercise, we’re going to say that all critical articles automatically equal negativity. We DO NOT feel this way, nor does any news and media organization, but we talk more about that at the end of this post. 

Then we posted a game, a picture of the prize to win that day, and another game the next day.  

“Please, Sir, Can I Have Some More?”

Tone: Positive 

Note(s): Well, we will preface it by saying that it’s not at all positive if you are a white guy in entertainment who refuses to tell any story that isn’t their own and continually puts women down. If you, Anon, are one of the fanboys who whined and cried when Jodie Whittaker got cast as the new Doctor then #sorrynotsorry. We won’t apologize for calling people out for oppressing minority groups. Not now. Not ever. 

“In Defense Of… Self-Inserts” 

Tone: Positive

Note(s): It is literally “in defense of” self-inserts and authors who write them. The only thing remotely critical is at the end when we stay if you don’t like this type of work, you aren’t obligated to read it. As an overall tone, it is positive. 

“When A Villain Can’t Be Redeemed: A Study In Severus Snape”

Tone: Negative

Note(s): We do not hide our disdain for Severus Snape and his routine abuse of children.

“Adapting Comics For The Screen”

Tone: Informational (Neutral)

Note(s): Again, the only thing that could be considered critical is at the end when we discuss oversaturation in the Marvel fandom and how exhausting such a catalogue of works can be, and that reader/viewer fatigue is very real and you are allowed to take a break if you need it. 

“The Fight Against Fiction Censorship” 

Tone: Critical

Note(s): We discuss how you, as the reader, should be curating your own experience and how characters are allowed to be morally gray. That these characters do not and should not be automatically deemed as representative of writers’ actual views on sensitive subject matters. 

“Get Fridged, B*tch!: The Short Lives of Women in Supernatural” 

Tone: Highly Critical

Note(s): We discuss the fact that in the show Supernatural specifically, most women are killed for the character development of their male counterparts. We point out that this is not okay and leads to the accepted convention that this is good writing and not, in fact, incredibly lazy and sloppy. 

Then we did six posts, in a row, on our Instagram that were silly, funny, or light-hearted, but we’ll chalk those up to neutral even though they’re definitely more positive than anything. We did Signs as Quotes, Kiss. Marry. Kill., The Alphabet Game, and a D&D alignment chart with characters. 

So, at the end of our relaunch week, we were at sixteen (16) informational or neutral, four (4) critical or negative, and three (3) positive, with only one being truly considered negative and not simply critical.

5 weeks ago

We began our Pensacon 2019 Convention Coverage. We featured three (3) cosplayers we met at the convention, linked their profiles, and not one of our questions was negative. Again, we won’t add them to our positive list, but they definitely count as us being supportive. We know we’re not the only who interviews cosplayers in a positive fashion, but there can always be more. We also included four (4) fanfiction authors. There were other informational, infographic, or neutral articles (like interviews), interspersed between these articles: 

“Pensacon 2019 Intro Review” and the “Pensacon 2019 Wrap-Up Review”

Tone: Positive (x2)

Note(s): We had a blast at Pensacon, and will be returning next year as well. All our coverage was overwhelmingly positive. 

“Using Fandom To Teach” 

Tone: Positive 

Note(s): The article states fun ways that you can include fandom in the classroom to help engage the students so they don’t automatically tune you out. It was also a small summary of the panel we saw at the convention, which is clearly referenced. However, all the ideas were original or credited appropriately. 

We also had a TWD Trailer Reaction Video. As far as we know, there’s nothing to be seen as negative (unless we were talking about Rosita). If you really, really tried, you could count it negative though, since every single thing we said it in wasn’t nice to all the characters. For those keeping score, we’re at twenty-eight (28) informational or infographic, six (6) positive, and four (4) critical or negative. 

4 weeks ago

We began our Marvel-themed month here. Honestly, we’re getting tired of linking most things, so here’s how Marvel month stacks up. 

There were eighteen (18) informational articles or infographics, eleven (11) interviews, four (4) playlists, and two (2) games. This leaves us with thirty-five (35) neutral articles. 

“AUs Becoming Original Fiction”

Tone: Positive

Note(s): This article featured information on how to possibly transform an AU fanfic into original fiction, if you so desire. It included examples of popular fiction that had done just that. 

“Faithfulness in Adaptations”

Tone: Neutral

Note(s): We list the ways why it’s okay to like both and that one isn’t superior to the other. 

“Being First Doesn’t Mean Going It Alone” 

Tone: Positive

Note(s): It was written shortly after seeing Avengers: Endgame and was a glowing recommendation of the movie due to the girl power scene. However, upon further reflection we realized that thirty minutes of representation in an almost three hour movie isn’t as good as we thought it was and several other things caused the movie, as a whole, to miss the mark. As it relates to this article, though, it was positive. 

“The MCU and Buffet-Style Representation”

Tone: Critical

Note(s): We criticize Marvel’s lack of representation and how they are continually putting down any fan interpretation that sees a character as homosexual. We do end it on a positive note by saying we’re going to hold out on passing final judgment since they are promising to do better soon. We’re middling at best here, so we’ll say critical. 

“In Defense Of… Steve Rogers’ Happy Ending”

Tone: Critical

Note(s): We simply state that Steve is allowed to be happy and that him being miserable shouldn’t be his only real characterization or arc. 

“The Importance of Fan Service” 

Tone: PositiveNote(s): This one is about the importance of fans feeling like valued members of their community by original content creators, and how it only adds positively to the overall experience of fandom. 

“Rule 34: The Rise of Super Sex” 

Tone: Informational 

Note(s): It doesn’t take a stance either way regarding how we, as an organization, feel about this practice, though it could be seen as more comedic since there are many, many sex puns. 

“The Squick Factor: WinterPrincess” 

Tone: Critical 

Note(s): We break down a controversial ship in the Marvel fandom and explain why it shouldn’t be seen that way, based on the arguments given from inside the Marvel fandom itself. 

“Trope Scope: The Isolation of Being Super”

Tone: Informational

Note(s): We explain the lonely superhero trope and how to use it in your own writing. 

“All the Feels: Standing Up For What’s Right” 

Tone: Positive

Note(s): It’s called ‘All the Feels’, so… yeah. 

“Get Fridged, B*tch!: Marvel Edition”

Tone: Critical

Note(s): Again, we take a stance against using women as plot devices to further male character development. Marvel has a lot of characters, so it was easy to come up with examples. We’d like to note that we defend Stan Lee in this one as he wasn’t for fridging Gwen Stacy. 

“You Need To Calm Down: And Other Advice From Taylor Swift” 

Tone: Highly Critical

Note(s): We wrote an article in response to another from Hypable.com, where we defend binge-watching television, new or old, and list all the ways it isn’t a bad thing. As always, the responses and points in this article were well-researched and thought out. 

“Women Behaving Badly: Why the Movie Hustlers Is Important” 

Tone: Positive

Note(s): We can’t wait to see this movie and talk about why showing women doing the same thing as men, even if it isn’t prim and proper, is a good thing and helps us gain more equality in entertainment and in representation. 

“#NoHomo YouTube Video” 

Tone: Critical

Note(s): We take Marvel to task over Avengers: Endgame and we still have no desire to apologize for it. If you’d like to know why, please watch the video linked above. We can also send the talking points, if that makes it easier to follow. 

So, at the end of six weeks, which brings us to today, we were at sixty-three (63) informational or infographic, twelve (12) positive to ten (10) critical or negative. 

If you came to a different conclusion, we’d love to hear your reasons as to why. However, all we ask is that if you want to make accusations about our overall tone, you be able to back it up, as we did. It seems to us, and anyone paying attention, that we are overwhelmingly informational first. The problem seems to be that any time we are remotely critical of a character, original content creator, or a fandom, we are marked as negative. Which, frankly, is not true. We are a news and media organization. We are allowed to interpret things in a light other than positive. We will continue to bring our readers as much fandom-related content as possible and we promise to be truthful and to never sugarcoat anything. We also pledge to be respectful always. 

If there are any other concerns, we urge you to send them to our ask box as this anon did. Understand, though, that critiquing us does not mean we will blow up, act foolish, or remain anything other than responsible fandom members. We have receipts to back up everything we do, so don’t assume we’ll take accusations lying down either. We welcome all criticism and will apologize where necessary. This just wasn’t one of those times. 

[exquisite-yoongi]

EVERYTHING ABOUT YOONGI

This post is hella long but there is everything you should know or watch about Min Yoongi. You’ll find facts, best of fancams, unforgettable quotes & legendary lyrics.

FACTS 

• real name is Min Yoongi

• born 9 March 1993

• from Daegu 

• Suga is short for Shooting Guard (his position in basket)

• alias Min Suga alias Grandpa alias Agust D alias Motionless Min alias Turtle alias Sugar alias DBoy alias Min Suga Genius Jjang Jjang man Bboong Bboong 

• loves music 

• absolute lyrical genius

• raps faster than the speed of light. hella control over his voice (X)

• is ranked 11 as the fastest rapper on Korea & on top three as fastest ‘idol’ rapper

• plays the piano (X & X)

• amazing on stage : completely in his element

• released a mixtape under the name Agust D 

• his mixtape saved hip-hop. Saved lives. Saved the world goddamn Yoongi

• he produced his entire mixtape just by himself. Worked very hard on it every time he could (between schedule, in planes, along working for other musics for BTS)

• this masterpiece was released for free

• there is no imitation, no meaningless lyrics, no misogyny and no racial slurs on it

• his mixtape talks about him and his struggles

• was the happiest person in the world when he met Kumamom. It was way too adorable for this world to handle (X)

• very socially aware, he wants to use his fame to shift people’s attention to global problems 

• which he did with the campaign Love Yourself in 2017 

• when he got sick and was rushed to the hospital, he couldn’t assist a concert. During his vacation time, he went to the stadium by himself and wrote about it in the fancafe. He sat in the seats of the stadium and forced himself to imagine the fans’ emotions on the day that was supposed to be the concert. He then wrote a long apology. 

• works from 12 am to 6 am on music. even after a full day of training or concert preparation or filming etc. That’s why he sleeps whenever he gets the chance

• when BTS had to pack for their backpacking trip through Europe, he was the one that remembered to pack medicine and first aid supplies. he cleaned up before living the hotel room, helped cooking and was in charge of their budget

• wrote, composed, produced some of BTS songs (like Tomorrow, Never Mind, Dead Leaves, Boyz with Fun, ~) 

• participate in the making of almost every Bts song

• looks gorgeous in every hair colour 

• twice said he would sue Bighit if his hair started falling out haha

• gummy smile (X)

• laughs in 10 different ways

• in the song ’Moving On’ he dedicated his section to his Mom, who was sick after she gave birth to him

• he danced around the studio in the early hours of the morning when ’Never Mind’ was approved to be the intro of HYYH pt.2

• really like a lamb skewers. wants to open a lamb skewers restaurant with Jungkook (X)

• his only goal is to make music that gives people emotions or comfort

• the root of his passion goes back to when he started making music at the age of 13

• his dream was to perform at Olympic Gymnastics Arena. at the end of the concert, he looked for his parents and brother in the crowd. when he saw them he smiled and got on the floor to do a deep bow (the kind where your forehead touches the ground) and cried for the first time at a concert (X & X)

• at fansigns, fan get to write them a question “What’s more important? Face or body?” Is asked a lot and Yoongi is the only one that writes a third option “Personality” and circles it and write that it’s the most important. he does this every time the question comes up

• when asked for the ideal weight in a girl he writes a ridiculous number

• when asked what age difference he would date he wrote 81 years haha

• tells everyone to eat well and take care of themselves 

• loves his fans more than anything

• extremely open-minded person 

• in a recent interview in the US, he always specified boyfriend or girlfriend when asked about dating

• when he and Namjoon were being disrespected by Bfree during an interview, he stayed calm and handled the situation very well.

• then proceeded to drag the HELL OUT OF HIM in Cypher pt.2

• the S in Suga stands for Savage

• sarcasm is his second name

• relatable af

• the time he and Hoseok (J-hope) reacted to a try not to laugh challenge of themselves and Yoongi laughed so hard he choked

• his existence is art

• the thing he does when his members are doing embarrassing stuff he just curls up and covers his face

• on his first birthday after he debuted he spent his own money to make gifts for the fans and hand-wrote over 300 notes (each one different…!)

• took pictures of Jungkook at his graduation like he was a proud parent

• the time when he and Hoseok lost a game and didn’t get dinner, Jimin brought them a crab from their table and Yoongi let Hoseok have it “seeing my dongsaeng eat makes me feel full”

• he silently takes care of bangtan

• says his members are his closest friends

• says Bighit is like a family

• when Hoseok was celebrating New Years alone in the dorms, Yoongi left his family and showed up with chicken just so Hoseok wouldn’t have to spend new years by himself

• that time during a fanmeeting a fan asked him “My Yoongi vitamin. I like you so much that I can’t live properly, tell me how to solve this?” and he responded “Just totally give up on this life and just only look at me.” (X)

• that one time Yoongi got really passionate about coffee and said he needed 309 people to help him “catch” coffee

• the time he sang his heart out with Hoseok for “I was able to eat well” and sounded terrible

• the time they had a high note challenge and Yoongi sang so high that no noise came out (X)

• so extra all the time

• that time he had to introduced himself and pulled confetti out of his pocket and threw it over himself (X)

• but also unamused all the time

• he’s a paradox

• the way he’s scared of fireworks going off (X)

• easily put in place by Jin, but also ignores all of his jokes

• really good dancer

• he just works hard

• that time a member woke him up by accident and Yoongi swore on camera (X)

• literally a deadass person at the awards show until Namjoon was up next to perform and Yoongi couldn’t stop being hyped and looking for him (X)

• that time Min Yoongi fell off a chair and told us on Twitter and RM made fun of him and suggested we now call him “MinClumsy” or “MinButt” 

• #MinButt (#민덩방아) was then trending on Twitter

• RM proceeded to publish a picture where Yoongi shows his butt and put 2 bandages on him (X)

• says he’s not always the best at expressing himself verbally, but wants everyone to know he is always thankful

• said in an interview his life style was “sleep eat work” 

• proud father of Shooky, his BT21 character 

IMPORTANT OR LEGENDARY FANCAMS

• Airplane pt.2, Lotte Family Concert (180622) -> I need holy water (1:44)

• First Love, Wings Tour Final (171208) -> couldn’t finish singing because of his emotions

• Spring Day, MMA (171202) -> absolute god

• Come Back Home, SEO TAIJI 25th Concert Anniversary (170924) -> this whole concert was dope tbh

• Fire, MMA (161119) -> infires man

• Blood Sweat & Tears, Mnet MCountdown Comeback Stage (161027) -> bless the wind

• Fire, (160907) -> happy, cute, cocky and sexy all at once

• Baepsae, in Beijing (160723) -> tired but still oh boy damn. 

• Tomorrow, in Beijing (160723) -> sweating Yoongi

• I like it pt. 2, (160614) -> smiles everytime he hears the fans screaming because of their dance then acts sexy on purpose

• Dope, KBS Open Concert (160315) -> this boy has no chill god dammit

• I Need U + Run, MBC (151231) -> Yoongi playing the piano

• I Need U, (151106) -> looks so good 

• Boyz With Fun, (151028) -> Suga having fun + smile smile smile + looks so fine 

• Cypher pt. 2 & 3, All Force One (150920) -> if you don’t know about this you’re missing on something big. 

LEGENDARY LYRICS 

• “A to the G to the U to the STD” - Agust D

• “My seat is business, yours is economy, forever behind me kissing my ass” - Agust D

• “Min Yoongi is already dead (I killed him)” - The Last

• “A word said like habit, oh, I don’t give a shit, I don’t give a fuck, those words are all words I use to hide my weak self” - The Last

• “This world sprinkled with my creations, I’ve tasted sweetness and bitterness and even shit, from that time I tried to sleep on the floor of a bathroom, now it’s a memory to me” - The Last

• “Dream, rather than humble, at the end we’ll be prosperous” - So Far Away

• “A brown piano settled on one side” - First Love 

• “It’s not easy but I say to myself, If you think you’re going to crash, step on the pedal harder” - Never Mind

• “Bultaoreune” - Fire

• “Yes, look down on me like that. It’s my hobby to prove you wrong” - We On

• “If I’m the sun you’re the moon, because when I rise, you go down.” - Cypher pt. 2 : Triptych

• “I’m a starfish that eats and grows on your jealousy and envy, As you know, my voice will turn you on, Whether it’s a guy or girl, my tongue will make you come" - Cypher pt.3 

• “Mic mic bungee” - MIC Drop

• “I’m a D-boy yeah I’m a D-boy” - Ma City 

UNFORGETTABLE QUOTES

• “love yourself love myself peace” - MMA (171202)

• "Min Suga. Genius. Those two words should be enough"

•  “I want to reincarnated and be a rock in my next life”

• “I’m father Louis Williams Suga Adams the Third”

• “I’m good at doing ugly stuff”

• “I’d like to introduce you to my lover… this neckpillow”

• “I’ve always wanted to nap in a different country”

Inspired by x 

OTHER MEMBERS : Jin / Hoseok / Namjoon / Jimin / Taehyung / Jungkook 

[i-am-very-very-tired]

S1: So you reached out to a Sheron because there was something that you’re you’re struggling with right now. Tell me a little bit about that.

S2: So I’m thirty eight. I’ve never had a boyfriend, but I would very much love to be married.

S1: So. So just to make sure I sort of understand. So you’re 38 years old. I think it’s safe to say, based on what you’ve told me, that that you haven’t even had sex with a man, have you? That’s correct. Have you ever kissed a man?

S3: I have not.

S4: This is how to. I’m Charles Dubik. A few months ago, I got an e-mail from a listener. They cut me a little off guard. The subject line read 38 and never been kissed. The writer of the e-mails that she realized that to most listeners, this is kind of weird. She wrote and I’m quoting her here. It’s a bit weird to me, to listeners. Meet Sheran.

S5: I’m originally from Michigan. I’ve been down here in Nashville about a year. I’m a nurse over at Vandy.

S4: And tell me a little bit about about your relationship background.

S6: It’s very short.

S2: I went to a large high school and and there were lots of cute boys, but I never dated. I was never I never was asked out. No one ever asked me on a date. And and I’m fairly traditional and how I approach dating. And so I wouldn’t have been inclined to ask anybody else out. And so college was very similar. I went to a small, private Christian school and there was not a lot of casual dating. It was almost like, oh, I think I want to marry you. So let’s go on our first date. And so I didn’t go to college to get married, but I just kind of assumed it would happen as a byproduct. Like I we get a degree and a husband. Yeah. And obviously that didn’t happen.

S1: It’s worth noting that this is kind of surprising because Sharon is a bit of a catch.

S7: She’s well educated and she likes to travel. She’s funny and attractive and into hobbies like ballroom dancing.

S5: Why didn’t the stars ever align? I really don’t have any any insight onto that. I mean, I and I realized that that my faith and my relationship with God is is very different than than how most people are. It certainly has a huge impact on how I see dating and and the general perspective on on how I think.

S8: But that being said, there’s lots of religious men out there. And so Sharon just kind of assume that, you know, someday she would meet the right guy. And one thing would lead to another and she’d have her first kiss and then get married. But then a few years went by and then a decade. And then she was 38. And she had a great life, a good career. She’d lived abroad, but she had never had a boyfriend or a kiss or really any idea of what to do next.

S2: I did online dating for years, I still, I would say, dabble in it occasionally. And so I’ve been on several first dates from. From guys that I’ve met online. And it just never went anywhere for for various reasons, mostly either because they weren’t interested or another very specific reason which we can talk about. What’s that specific reason? I don’t want to have children, and that has really been a huge stumbling block for the majority of guys that I’ve met.

S1: And so Sheeran’s wondering as she’s approaching 40 years old. Is it too late?

S2: It would be sad to me to get to the end of my life and have never been kissed or to have sex. I also feel as though I have accepted the fact that that might be true, that I could die a virgin or die having never been kissed.

S5: And I think that’s kind of a bummer, but it’s not enough of a bummer for me to compromise in that area of my life.

S9: Can we help Sharon find her heart’s content or at least her first guess? On today’s episode, we’ll see how our matchmaking skills stack up. Stick with us.

S10: Slate Plus members, it’s survey time, which means it’s your chance to tell us what you think about Slate. Slate podcasts and Slate. Plus it’ll only take a few minutes. You can find it at Slate dot com slash survey.

S8: We’re back with Sharon are 38 year old virgin who wants a husband to help. We thought it might be useful to bring in a professional. And so we found a modern day high tech cupid who spotted her own husband across a room and then proceeded to pick him up.

S11: He has tattoos. And so I said, Hey, tattoo boy, where did you get those tattoos? And he said, Hey, little darlin, come sit down next to me. And I was like, okay. I sat down next to him.

S12: This is Lisa Clampett, who has helped hundreds and hundreds of men and women find love. She runs this very elite matchmaking service in New York City, where she has been very, very successful, in part because she knows how hard it can be out there, especially a little later in life.

S13: So interestingly enough, I was thirty nine.

S14: Even worse, I had been married before. But I didn’t have kids. And my mom would always say, you’re going out on all these dates and you’re always finding fault.

S13: And I was like, oh, they’re they’re boring or they’re there. And then I finally was like, you know what? I’m ready to get married in literally when I decided I was ready to get married again. I think it was the next day I went out, I saw my husband across the room, started chatting him up. We were talking 20 minutes later. He said, let’s go to Vegas and get married. And we were married in Vegas in six weeks.

S6: Oh, my gosh. Are you serious? Oh, my gosh.

S15: I was like 17 years ago. I was ready. I was like, done deal. So I went. So in my brain, I calculated the key requirements, which is I needed someone like Hughes. Cute. He was brilliant. So he’s a p._h._d. He’s from the Midwest. Family oriented parents still together. Moved up there with a girlfriend. They broke up, which means he’s relationship oriented. And so what was I to him? I was fun. I was assertive where I talked to him. And I’m probably the only Manhattan girl that loves snakes. And he is a snake reptile specialist. And I had a great record collection.

S1: Lisa, let me ask. Let’s say Sharon came into you as a matchmaker and said, Lisa, matchmaker, I need your help.

S6: Like, walk me through the process.

S16: So there are a couple things that that like no one. I think that if your value system is God and religion and yet there is a disconnect with wanting kids, I think the younger you was probably attracting a lot of men that if their priority was God, they probably wanted to build a family. That’s kind of the mainstay. So I totally think that that is a barrier that is really important to point out. Have you talked to your friends or family? Have they given their feedback of what they think might be the barrier?

S2: Yes, we certainly talk about it a lot. And sometimes my sisters will tell me I’m too picky, which I certainly realize is a possibility. For example, I I’m relatively tall and I really want someone who’s taller than me. How tall are you? Almost 5’9. Okay, height. Let’s say, you know, five, 10 plus. Is that right? Right. Exactly. What other things? Yeah. So other things that are important to me, someone who is fiscally responsible. Another thing would be it’s really important that they’re that they’re smart. I’ve been told in the past by men and women that they find me intimidating because I have a career and because I have a masters degree and because I’ve, you know, lived a lot of places and had a lot of experience. And so I’m looking for someone that can hold a good conversation.

S16: So, so far, you do not sound picky to me. Just letting you know that these are all good, totally reasonable. I think that discovering what is happening at the age of 38 onward, if you’re open to dating someone, let’s say in their mid-forties that the whole kid thing is no longer an issue, I actually think that’s going to be a major advantage to you. Let’s say there’s a couple men that reach out that they accept that you don’t want kids. They’re okay about not having premarital sex and God is a priority in their life. Have you had any of those dates?

S2: I would say two or three in the last five years. Once or twice. They never called me again, which is, you know, which is fine. Or they texted and said it was nice to meet you, but I’m not interested in one particular situation. I felt like was the best first date of my whole life. And we had amazing time. We talked for hours and then he never called me again. So I I will say that I don’t enjoy and I don’t enjoy first dates. I’m not sure that a lot of people do. Maybe some do. But. I find dating. I’ll be upfront. Dating is scary to me because it’s something that I haven’t done very much. I don’t like first dates. I don’t enjoy the dating process at all. I think mostly because I’ve never had a great experience dating.

S16: That’s a common thing, just F.Y.I. I think a lot of people find it hard, but I think you in particular because it’s so challenging, it’s not like you’re going out and making out with someone. And I’d say that I’m also wondering why it’s only been like a couple guys in a couple years that have come from this because generally speaking, there are a lot more possibilities, even with the requirements of of God and no kids. So I’m wondering why there’s such a scarcity of options.

S17: Right. And I think there’s a little part of me I don’t trust myself when it comes to dating, so I’m I’m concerned that when I when I and I’m almost always the one that that cuts things off. So I’ll go on a date. I don’t really feel any connection. And so I’m like I I just I’m not feeling it. I don’t really want to go on a second date.

S1: Let me ask you something on this. Because. Because that’s surprising to me that you’re the one who who’s cutting this off. Why not just say eight? It wasn’t I wasn’t in love at first sight. But why not just go on a second date? What’s what’s stopping you from just taking a flyer?

S17: I’m trying to remember the last time I had a date. I think it’s been four years trying to remember what happened.

S16: Gosh, I think the fact that you’re saying it’s four years. Lt’s like no one gets it.

S17: I know.

S18: I think there’s so much here that that we’re not even you know, you’re saying that you want to run a marathon and you’re still in bed, you know. So I would say that’s the biggest issue.

S1: How many how many dates do you think Sharon should be going on?

S17: I would say at least to a month increased at least.

S6: Yes. Always said that doesn’t seem like very many to me, but no. But it sounds like to Sharon, like, what does that make you feel if if you hear two a month?

S17: Sounds exhausting, but I mean, think about it from the perspective of, like, you know, one 1 every 2 years to 2 a month.

S19: The math is not my strength, but whatever time. That’s like a thousand times more dates.

S8: So our first big lesson is that Sharon needs to go on a lot more dates, but that’s easier said than done. How do you get over that fear of rejection and inertia? And, you know, making a big change.

S20: When we come back, Lisa will give us a plan.

S1: We’re back with our listener Sharon and professional matchmaker Lisa Clampett in the first big step to making a change, particularly when it feels like it’s a little bit risky, Lisa says is honestly asking yourself, do you really want this?

S15: If so, you have to decide to commit even when you know, it could be a little bit painful if you felt like you could get through the obstacle of the discomfort in dating and you could actually go out and date, because I’d say that this is a common thing in it. I mean, how much easier it is is it to walk away from a relationship or a marriage than to do the work? So how much do you want this? And is that a priority for you?

S2: In my heart of hearts, I would love to be married. And if if I can be more effective for Christ as a married person, if we can if I can serve somebody else, we could serve God together more effectively than as a single person. Then I want to be married.

S1: He is sure to let me push on this a little bit more. If someone came to you and they said, I want a job, I really want a job. And you said, how many applications have you have you submitted? How many resumes have you dropped off? And they said, well, I dropped off one four years ago. What would you make of that?

S21: Well, I think that that they’re being not they’re not being proactive. And I think I mean, point taken with costs. I have always wanted.

S17: Love to be organic. And I feel like I don’t like the idea. It doesn’t sound very romantic to turn dating into a job, but at this point, if that’s what gets the job done, then the ultimate goal is to get married, not to determine how I fall in love.

S16: You’re setting yourself up for failure in the sense of it’s an idealized. Reciprocal being in love of a 23 year old vs. what your goal is as a 38 year old woman wanting to get married.

S18: You’ve got to create a game plan to soldier through it to get that exposure, to get that experience, to be connected to someone in this different way.

S22: That’s not the glorified 23 year old Sharon, but the new 38 year old. I want to get married, Sharon.

S23: So here’s the rule. If you want to make a big change, particularly one that seems scary, you just have to accept it.

S24: It is not going to be like a fairy tale. There will be no Prince Charming that suddenly appears. Instead, it’s all about being pragmatic, about coming up with a plan and then doing the work.

S22: And then you take notes. You get home and you write in your diary. Like, what was it like going out with this guy? What did I discover from him? What did I really like? Like explore this guy, get to know the many layers that he is, and that is where you start building that familiarity that you were talking about, that you want you’re building a foundation of a friendship, which is a marriage.

S24: Here’s another rule. Take notes, because we’re human.

S8: We all have a tendency to experience something and then to forget what we learned from that experience. And so it isn’t romantic. But if you take notes or if you keep a spreadsheet about your dates, you’ll start to see your own patterns much faster.

S1: When Lisa says you should go on two dates a month, and that sounds like a huge amount to you like, oh, overwhelming, which which would still give you like 28 days a month when you’re not going on a date, right?

S6: Right.

S1: What is it about those dates that makes two a month seem so exhausting?

S21: I hate that feeling of.

S2: Just not being at all interested in this person and then having to.

S17: Either wait for them to cut things off or for me to say, you know what? I’m not feeling it. Let’s, you know, let’s not meet up again.

S1: What if you looked at each date as just an experiment where where you don’t actually anticipate that you’re going to have another date? What if you looked at dating is just a series of literally just meeting someone interesting with no expectations that it would ever be anything else. Do you think they’d make it easier for you? Because it sounds like you’re carrying a lot of a lot of sort of fraught anticipation into these dates.

S17: Yeah. Mix them. Yes, I. I wish I couldn’t view it that way. I that would be that would that would bring a lot of relief. I feel like I said, I think I’m holding a lot of anxiety, not about actually dating because I love meeting people and small talk is easy for me and those kinds of things. So that’s it’s not the actual date. It’s the fear of having to turn him down for a second date.

S16: So I think that you’ve got to just draft a text that you send them, which lets you off the hook.

S6: I’m telling you, it’s so stupid right now. Yeah, let’s do that. Right. Okay. Let’s let’s workshop this. Okay.

S18: John, it was really wonderful meeting. You were not a match. But I want you to know that I very much enjoy that. You took me out for coffee and I wish you the best of luck. It was great meeting you. End of story. Done. Move on. Click. Send.

S6: So, Sharon, let me ask you this. What if you were to type that into your into your phone before you even go on the date? Right before you meet John. You type in exactly what Lisa just said, right? You don’t hit send because you haven’t actually met the guy yet. Right.

S1: But when you know that when you get home, if it if you if there wasn’t a connection there, literally all you have to do is hit send. And you never have to think about it again. Does that set a race? Some of the fear for you?

S17: I think so. I think that’s that’s the majority of it. But what if I’m. What if I send that text and I just you know, maybe he was having a bad a bad first date or something. And I’m I’m concerned that I’m too quick to to cut someone off.

S1: Let’s say let’s say Sharon goes on this date and she likes the guy. He’s nice, but she knows that she’s not going to end up marrying him. Should she go on a second date anyways?

S16: I don’t think that you can know who you’re going to end up marrying from a first date. If there’s no deal breakers. So I would say yes, because she doesn’t know. She doesn’t. She doesn’t have the experience to be able to make that decision.

S4: This is the next you’ll figure out the hardest part of whatever you’re trying to do and then do it first, right that break up text before the date so that it’s easy to hit send when you get home.

S25: But by the same token, don’t read too much into things if they don’t go according to plan. So even if the text is already written, that doesn’t mean you have to send it.

S13: Stop, stop overthinking it. I’m telling you, that’s how life happens. Just stop getting in your head about it and just make it happen. The worst case scenario is six months from now and 50 dates later, you say like, wow, this is not for me. I think once you get over the resistance and the fear and you start making it happen, it gets easier and easier. And then suddenly it like creates access into your life. And I do what I do because I truly believe 100 percent were meant to be with somebody. I really believe that. And I think that a lot of us put fear in the way as an obstacle for resistance. And then you just gotta get off of that and start running.

S1: Sure. Let me ask you something. How long ago did you move to Nashville? A year ago, a year ago. How how many churches did you visit before you decided to invest in the church that you you attend now maybe five or six. OK, so that’s that’s a good number of churches. And it sounds like you actually have spent more time thinking about the church you want to attend. And experimenting and doing research, then looking for the person that you you want to marry.

S26: Again, I keep coming back to that. I wanted to just be organic where I meet someone and, you know, we just fall in love.

S1: And Lisa, let me ask, how many how many couples have you put together? Hundreds. And how many of them would you say it was organic? It was kind of love at first sight. And it just it all BadgerCare came together.

S16: So organic is such a misconception. We historically have been matched up by communities and religious groups.

S18: So when people talk here about, yeah, I mean, so. So we’re actually going back to the roots of. Of connection. And what has taken us away is urban environments. And so coming back to online, to matchmakers, to to churches. It’s literally that’s the organic it’s not the other way around.

S27: Yeah, it’s interesting because, you know, I met my wife in college and a lot of my friends met their spouses in college. And I don’t think for any of us, it it was it was love at first sight of anything. And I don’t think for any of us, it was organic. I actually don’t think for any of us, it was easy.

S15: It’s a practical decision, right?

S6: Yeah, that’s that’s common. That is that relationship is work.

S27: And it’s a job even in finding a relationship as a job. Once you’re in the relationship, it’s a job.

S1: It’s this thing that you decide to do together because because you like being employed more than you like being unemployed.

S15: As we grow older, it takes more of an effort. I’ll give you an example of someone who came to me was a 60 year old man and he had never had a girlfriend, 60 years old. He was short. He was 5’3. And in his mind, he was a troll and undesirable and no one wanted him. And he was ready to move on with life and die single. And a lawyer friend of his said, You know what? I know this matchmaker, Lisa Clampett goes see, just before you like bury yourself in a coffin.

S14: Ghostly, right? So he came. And what I saw is, first of all, to me, he looked like a big, bigger guy.

S18: I actually took out a measuring tape.

S11: I was like, you’re not 5’3 or amazing. He was funny.

S14: He was kind. He was brilliant. He was a self-taught violinist. What he needed is he needed to sort of look at himself in a different way.

S28: We speed him up in and I reprogrammed him to thinking troll, to thinking funny, kind, self-starter, entrepreneur. Unbelievable. So after months of working together, we found him, this girlfriend. And they’ve been together eight years and he looks like a movie star walking down the street. I mean, unbelievable change of life. But literally, he came in with a little fanny pack in an old 1970s mustache. And it just was like and a little like ball of his his misery of what he was projecting. And it was his obstacle. And so what are the barriers that you’re putting up front like? All these things could really turn around if you really wanted to if you changed your mindset. I I pretty much would say that you could be married within the next year or two.

S12: Here’s the last rule. Once you’ve decided you really want this and you’ve committed to it and you’ve started taking notes and conducting experiments and you’re at peace with the fact that it might not be like a fairy tale.

S7: Then remember to work on your mindset. You are an amazing person. You can do this. You’ve done amazing things already in your life. Finding a husband is nothing compared to what you’ve already done. You already have everything you need.

S16: I would say start by first vision, the motivation and vision. What is it like being married? But then take a step back and and really look at like what are all the qualities that are fabulous in you? Like what would make you an amazing wife?

S18: And then all the amazing qualities of like who you are and what you could lead with and start sort of programming the essence of like you as that best solves that interesting, engaging, nurturing, funny, amazing woman that shows up and then get on dating sites. Be very specific about who you are and what you’re looking for. But take that list of all the amazing pieces of you and make it fun right after you have. Your requirements start going out on dates.

S1: So, Sharon, let me ask you. Are you willing to go on a date next week?

S29: Mm hmm. Yes. Yeah.

S17: Sure. I’m calling.

S6: So. OK, so are you signed up for any dating sites right now? One right now. Which one? Bumble. Bumble. OK. Bumble.

S15: Bumble is is interesting because Bumble is proactive on the woman’s side. So it’s very interesting that you chose Bumble.

S17: I don’t have any issue initiating a conversation. That’s not a problem for me whatsoever. Guys seem to just want to meet immediately without without any texting back and forth. Do I need to compromise and just be willing to go on dates? Or is it okay for me to want to get to know a few more things about them before I do that?

S6: You got to go on a date next week, right? We’ve already established that you’re not gonna have that much time for value.

S1: Why not just make a date and go out with someone who you’ve only texted back and forth with, you know, less than a dozen times? What’s the downside?

S26: I need you. I need I need some guts. I need to be willing to take some chances. And I think also maybe having some accountability. So maybe finding a friend or family member who I can I can talk to about this.

S27: So maybe maybe can we make one more rule share? What if you throw it on with all the rest? What if you have to tell your sister for accountability? What if what if what you need to set up an accountability system? What if it says we’re done with this phone call? The next phone call you make is to your sister to tell her what your plan is, and that as long as this guy is not an atheist or an axe murderer or someone who’s like, look, I can’t wait to have eight children as long as he’s that way today, that you are going to go on a second date with him and that your sister has to hold you accountable.

S17: The whole plan is a little overwhelming. But if I if I take it in little pieces, it’s not so bad like one step at a time. Right.

S27: Well, let me ask, would it be crazy if we were to say as a goal, you are going to have your first kiss at the age of 38 or 39 in the year 2020? Well, I think it’s certainly possible. Would you like that?

S19: Yeah. Because that means that that would mean that I’m well down the road of of my dating life.

S6: Okay. So 2020, Sharon’s first kiss. The year of the kiss. The year of the kiss. Yes. I like it.

S12: Thank you to Sharon for opening up and sharing her story with us. And thank you to Lisa Clampett for her great advice. If you are interested in her services, you can find her online at Lisa Clampett. That’s C.l.A and p.I. TTR dot com. And here’s a quick update from Sharon.

S30: Hey, guys, I think you’re going to be very impressed with the progress that I’ve made. I have joined two more dating sites. I attempted to go on a date last weekend and he stood me up. But whatever his loss. Right. And then I did actually go on a date yesterday. So it was not what I would call an instant connection or a match. And in the past, I probably would have turned him down for a second date. But according to your rules, I can’t do that. So I will give him a second try.

S31: Wish me luck. Bye.

S12: Good luck, Sharon. We hope he’s a good kisser. Do you have a question of the heart or really any other kind of question that needs a solution? If so, you should send us a note of how to at Slate.com. And we will do everything we can to help. How TO’s executive producer is Derek John? Rachel Allen is our production assistant in marriage. Jacob is our engineer. Our theme music is by Hani’s Brown. June Thomas is the senior managing producer of Slate podcasts and Gabriel Roth is Slate’s editorial director for Audio. Special thanks to Asha, Saluda and Sung Park. I’m Charles Duhigg.

S32: Stay romantic.

[fansplaining]

Transcript: Episode 71: Lori Morimoto

(episode | show notes)

[Intro music: Awel by Stefsax]

Flourish Klink: Hi, Elizabeth!

Elizabeth Minkel: Hi, Flourish!

FK: And welcome to Fansplaining, the podcast by, for, and about fandom!

ELM: This is Episode 71, Lori Morimoto.

ELM: Who… yeah, yay! Yes. Who you may remember from oh, I wanna say Episode 29. Did I just pull that number out correctly?

FK: I have no idea, we will have it in the show notes.

ELM: Don’t worry about it, don’t worry about it. Our Shipping and Activism episode. I swear to God it’s 29. I don’t know why I’m leaning in on this, but. Which was with Lori, Dr. Lori Morimoto, and Rukmini Pande, both fan studies scholars, where we talked about a specific topic, which was shipping and activism, and how those things aren’t necessarily…What’s the does not equal sign? You know?

FK: Yes.

ELM: Let me say this as awkwardly as possible! We had them both on to talk about a specific topic, so we wanted to talk to them separately about their work generally so hopefully we’ll have Rukmini on sometime in the near future. But first up, Lori!

FK: Yeah, and I’m especially excited to have her on. I think you are too, because she studies transcultural fandom and we had a question about that when we were on Australian live radio that we totally could not answer, so we’ll ask her about that question and hopefully she’ll drop some knowledge on us.

ELM: Yes we were on Australian radio, which was… it was an exciting experience for me, I’ve never done live radio before.

FK: Me neither!

ELM: And it was especially exciting because it was in Australia and we had to go on the air at 7PM our time, which was 10 in the morning their time, and I went on the way to the studio I went to get a coffee, and I was like “I’m going to be on the radio in Australia right now!” And the people at the coffee shop were just like, have you lost your mind? They literally could not process those words. I was like “yeah and the funny thing about it is it’s tomorrow there!” That made it so much worse. They were like “take your coffee good luck you can do it!” So that was exciting for me.

FK: I love that you overshared this to your barista. OK. [laughing]

ELM: I talk, do you not say all sorts of…look, OK. I’ve worked at a racetrack now for 15 years, right?

FK: I say all sorts of weird stuff to, I’m not saying that I don’t, I’m just saying that I love that this particular one you told your barista and they thought you were insane.

ELM: They asked me how I was doing and I just wanted to let them know what was going on! I’m just going to say that if you talk to, don’t be creepy and don’t tell people to smile, ever, but if you find yourself chatting with people in a service capacity, you’re not alone. Tons of people do that.

FK: Yeah. I also chat with people in a service capacity cause they’re humans [ELM laughing] who I’m having an interaction with! It’s only this specific thing which is really hard to explain to somebody that you decided to share. [both laughing] You know sometimes when someone pulls something out you’re just like “why did you choose to share that?” It’s not bad, it’s just like why was that the thing?

ELM: I never feel that way.

FK: Oh my God. OK OK. We need to get back on topic because I think we have a couple of letters to read before we call Lori.

ELM: Yes, we do! They’re about our Fandom Tourism episode, another topic that people…I feel like we keep going through this wave where we’ll do a topic and then we’ll get many weeks of responses. This seems to be one that has struck something.

FK: And then we have ones that we think people are going to respond to and everyone’s like, nope.

ELM: Crickets. [FK laughs] It’s fine, it’s fine. It’s nice to be surprised constantly. So, I don’t know. This is not surprising that people are interested in this because I think this is something that we, you know, I don’t wanna say that we all engage in it but I think that a lot of people and obviously not everyone has the opportunity to travel but you can even do it within the place that you live if you happen to be lucky enough to live in the place where your fandom has taken place. You know what I mean?

FK: Totally. OK. Do you wanna read the first letter or shall I?

ELM: I can read the first letter! This is from Livia, who I believe is the same Livia that wrote in a while back to talk about YA.

FK: I believe so!

ELM: So thanks for writing again! “Hey there. On the topic of fan tourism with non fictional people and places, my friend’s mum is an English teacher and she loves Shakespeare. She has a life size cardboard cutout of him in her classroom.” That’s really good. “Every year…” That was my editorialization. “Every year my friend’s family goes to Stratford Upon Avon in the summer, where Shakespeare used to live, and they always tour his old house and go see his mum’s farm and stuff. My friend says every single time they go her mom is totally awestruck and is like ‘Shakespeare once stood here!’ and always quotes the bit of Romeo and Juliet about paving stones. Thanks again, Livia.” That’s adorable. I like that she does this every time. [FK laughing] I also love the idea, do you, when you visit a place where you know someone that you admire has been, do you think about that? Do you think, like, “X has stood here”?

FK: Yeah!

ELM: Yeah?

FK: Sure! Absolutely!

ELM: That’s funny!

FK: I don’t think that I like, I mean, I don’t sit there and rhapsodize on it, but definitely I can’t imagine it NOT crossing my mind.

ELM: You’re gonna quote Shakespeare at the spot that you’re standing?

FK: Yeah, probably…no, I don’t know. I might, if I were there! I don’t wanna say I’m too cool for that.

ELM: [laughing] It’s just funny to try to think about, sure, you’re also probably breathing the same air molecule. Right? What are the odds? Actually the odds are probably incredibly low.

FK: But isn’t that awesome? We’re all made of stars Elizabeth!!!

ELM: Oh Jesus. It’s just funny. It’s a funny way to think about it. In the same way that I find materiality really interesting. And the fact that…there’s a classic old RadioLab about materiality like this, where it’s about trying to sort out people who care about the specificities of an object, the meaning behind a specific object, vs. the people who don’t. One of the hosts has this total, OK. It’s a baseball that, you know, Hank Aaron held. OK. And the other one is like DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?! IT WAS HANK AARON’S BASEBALL! I don’t know, this is a random example, I don’t think that was actually one of them.

FK: Yeah, it is funny. I think I’m pretty far on the “I don’t care” scale and yet I still get this feeling. You know? I’m not usually super super super invested in that. But it’s not foreign to me, you know what I mean? There must be people who are much less on this scale, who are even further yet like “I don’t care that someone touched this at all.”

ELM: Right? Which is…it’s just interesting to think about that’s all.

FK: OK, should I read the next letter?

ELM: Yes!

FK: OK. This one is from Stephanie Burt who we had on for two episodes before. And she writes: “LotR movie fandom has absolutely transformed international tourism in NZ. There are enormous LotR/ Hobbit film sets or creatures in the Wellington and Auckland airports. As of 2004 6% of international tourists visiting NZ say LotR is one of their reasons for visiting, 1 in 100 that it was their only reason. I suspect numbers are higher today.

“You can take helicopter tours of the country organized around it, and there are several full-time visit-the-movie set places: we’ve been to the most famous one, the set for the Shire in Matamata, central North Island, and it is an absolute delight but, also, a demonstration of industrial-scale tourism, getting tourbusloads of people in and out in an hour, hour after hour. There are other sites that work the same way.

"The prominence of LotR among international images of New Zealand, and its place in the tourist industry, is a source of money and employment but also a source of amusement and sometime irritation for people who actually live there; I suspect book-fandom LotR types are not entirely happy about the widespread misconception that Tolkien intended LotR to take place there—the whole country on occasion seems to have re-branded itself as Middle Earth, and NZ writers sometimes make fun of the image. (The NZ poet Murray Edmond has a very funny new poem about what to do when you find a dead hobbit in your garden.) When you—that is, when I—tell people we’ve recently lived in NZ, "oh! Middle Earth!” is one of the most common things that I hear.

“NZ isn’t MIddle Earth, just like Christ Church, Oxford isn’t Hogwarts. And in both cases it’s slightly annoying both that the fan tourism has made it harder to see the actual people and their cultural production, and that the movie producers’ choice of location has made it harder to bring our own ideas to the books.

"But it’s fun! and it’s an important source of revenue for NZ—especially for the less urbanized parts of the country, which seem to really benefit from the tourism.”

And as you probably can gather, Stephanie spent some time living in New Zealand recently, so.

ELM: Gathered. That’s interesting. I think that’s a really interesting duality going on, this idea of…duality isn’t the right word, but the idea that it takes away, not only are you ignoring the real, I mean, there it seems like it’s more about ecological…it’s not the same as the center of Oxford which is very much man made history, maybe this is natural history. I’m just assuming based on what I know of New Zealand’s sheep population [FK laughs] that it’s not a ton of structures, plus I’ve seen those Lord of the Rings movies, so it’s like…that kind of simultaneously contracting from the real thing and other forms of tourism while imposing this sort of…is hegemony the right word?

FK: You love that word. You love the word “hegemony.”

ELM: I do. Once it came back into my vocabulary a couple weeks ago, I’ve been like “It’s been too long since we said hegemony all the time,” I feel like it’s a very 2000s word, and I wish that we said it more.

FK: I don’t know that I feel the same lack or the same destruction of, oh, the imagination I had in my mind before I read the book—I mean before I saw the movie, now that’s been destroyed by the movie. I don’t feel that way about it.

ELM: Really? Do you not, when you think of Harry Potter characters, do you see the world that Warner Brothers created? Do you see those actors? Maybe not all of them.

FK: Not all of them, but also maybe a sort of conceptual blend, you know what I mean?

ELM: But aesthetically though, they took a very specific…they made a very specific choice. It’s interesting when you look, you’ve seen the new illustrated editions?

FK: Yeah!

ELM: Aesthetically quite different!

FK: Yeah, I don’t feel like they’ve entirely contaminated my mind. And I don’t feel like Lord of the Rings has entirely contaminated my mind, either. I love the actors who played…

ELM: It has for me, but I didn’t read it till afterwards, so.

FK: Yeah, in addition to having read it many times before I saw it I reread it on a regular basis cause I’m that person.

ELM: Many times, Flourish, really?

FK: Yeah! I think I’ve probably read it 20 times. [ELM gasps] Yeah.

ELM: Do you…like the prose?

FK: Yeah! I mean…I wouldn’t say that it’s not…its own thing… [laughing] You know what I mean? It’s very much of itself, but yes, I enjoy it.

ELM: OK, OK!

FK: For what it is. And the way it is.

ELM: Sure.

FK: Yeah! I do like it. And I feel like I get something new out of it every time that I read it.

ELM: Solid.

FK: Yeah but so whatever, I liked the actress who plays Éowyn, she does a good job, but she doesn’t look anything like Éowyn. And that’s OK. You know what I mean? Fine. That’s all right.

ELM: Who’s the actress? Who is that actress?

FK: Miranda Otto.

ELM: What else has she been in?

FK: I have no idea. Not that much that I’ve seen. She’s nice. But Éowyn’s like a Valkyrie and she did a really good, even though she’s very small she did a really good job of…

ELM: She had a presence!

FK: She had a presence, but she’s just not the person I envisioned when I envisioned Éowyn. And that’s OK, it’s all right, but I don’t imagine her when I think of Éowyn.

ELM: Do you imagine Ian McKellan?

FK: Yeah, probably. [laughter] But I think I always imagined Ian McKellan! You know what I mean?

ELM: Yeah. Yes. So did Tolkien when he wrote it.

FK: Probably!

ELM: “Someday!” [laughing]

FK: Yeah. Yeah.

ELM: Alright. Back to Lori. Should we call her?

FK: Let’s call her!

[Interstitial music from the game “Glitch”]

FK: Alright! I think it’s time to welcome Lori Morimoto onto the podcast. Hooray! Hello, Lori!

LM: Hello!

ELM: Welcome back!

Lori Morimoto: Thank you for having me! Oh, thank you for having me. I appreciate it.

FK: I actually wonder because…I guess most people come back for our year in review episodes. I was looking at it and I was like “wow you’ve been on the podcast twice!” because of the year in review. So. It’s a pleasure to have you here for a third time.

LM: I’m very excited, so.

ELM: And we were on an episode of Three Patch Podcast together long before Fansplaining, so I just feel like we’re constantly podcasting together, second only to Flourish.

LM: It’s weird how these weird relationships develop online.

ELM: Wow you’re calling our relationship weird!

LM: Noooooo, I didn’t mean it that way [grumbling] [ELM laughs]

FK: Now I know what it must feel like to be the third person staring at me and you, Elizabeth.

ELM: You’re now the third wheel.

FK: Now, I’m the third wheel, it’s so weird! [all laugh]

ELM: Let’s get serious. So when you were on the first time with Rukmini, you were kind of on as experts in a topic. You weren’t really on specifically to talk about your work although obviously your work informed the discussion, but we had you on to discuss a specific issue. But I kinda want to take a step back and talk a little bit about your work. Do you even use the term “aca-fan” any more? I feel like this one is falling out of fashion with some people.

LM: It’s a tricky term, isn’t it?

ELM: Fan studies scholar?

LM: In writing I tend to say “scholar-fan.”

ELM: Like scholar dash fan?

LM: Yeah, scholar dash fan or whatever. Matt Hills does that, and I kind of prefer it to aca-fan just because aca-fan is so loaded now.

ELM: Yeah.

LM: Although on Twitter it’s @acafanmom, so go figure.

FK: Could you just summarize why aca-fan is so loaded? I think some people who listen to this podcast will have followed this, and some people will not.

LM: Well, if you join my Patreon course… [all laughing] I have a whole thing about aca-fan! Basically, it was, nobody’s really sure first of all where it started, it’s generally attributed to Harry Jenkins… Harry. [laughs] HENRY Jenkins. It kind of got a certain reputation within some parts of fandom as kind of academics who are trying to butt in and tell us how we do things and what we do and sort of… an interloper? Kind of? Impression, I guess. On the one side, on the fandom side.

And then on the academic side there were people who were concerned about a whole range of things from the being too close to what you study to aca-fan is kind of a pejorative, almost, or self-pejorative, term that increased not being taken seriously by other academics. So in general, the reason that I’m not particularly fond of it…I’m happy to go after the discipline, because I think that disciplinarity is a problem. Or at least it inhibits certain kinds of conversation. But the fan side of it bothers me enough that I don’t generally refer to myself that way.

ELM: In the context…

LM: In the context of fandom.

ELM: In fandom.

LM: But even in academia I don’t really any more, just because…I don’t know. I don’t feel it, you know?

ELM: Do you feel like you’ve had to take, over the last few years you’ve had to kind of rebifurcate those two parts of yourself? I would say, having been in fandom with you as well, and not just you but there was a period where I felt like I would see more scholars reference their experience and knowledge in discourse, and I think that after some…discourse…

FK: [laughing] In the popular sense…

ELM: People are less inclined to do that these days!

LM: I think that that whole thing…roughly 2013…that was sort of a turning point for me in identifying with that term. I thought that some of the fans that were going “you guys are just throwing your weight around” weren’t entirely unjustified in some ways. In others, things that I worried about at the time have actually kind of come to fruition, which is neither here nor there, but that was about the point that I decided at least within fandom I was still gonna be sort of open as a scholar, as a fan scholar, but I wasn’t really going to throw my weight around as a scholar in fannish spaces, if that makes sense.

ELM: Which is hard, I feel like. Flourish, does this all make sense to you? We’re speaking in veiled terms.

FK: I think it mostly makes sense although I’m curious about what you worried about and what has come to fruition, because when you speak in those terms it’s like “ooooooh, what has come to fruition?” I wanna push but I don’t wanna push, I don’t wanna be like tell me all the juicy gory…

LM: I’ll try to keep it as vague as possible! In the fandom I was in there was a lot of meta being written, some of it was really great, I’m reading it like “oh my god this is amazing.” And others of it read to me at the time I was teaching fan…not fan studies. I was teaching film studies. It read to me like very basic attempts at film analysis that needed some work.

And that was really where I directed my comments, if you will. And especially when some of the fans who were writing it began talking about how, you know, this is basically scholarship, and I’m sort of…it’s really basically not! Come on. And then there was a discussion about how meta is being written for fun, and I think they were right. It is written for fun. It isn’t trying to pass a class or anything like that. And so that was when I backed away.

FK: Right, so it sounds like it’s complex because on the one hand meta is something that’s written just for fun but then when people begin to speak about it as scholarship, which is something you do for work, it becomes like…I’m not sure that I can endorse this as scholarship. I imagine that people who work in the film industry feel similarly to some fan films, or even…

LM: It’s possible, yeah.

FK: Or even in some cases, I’m sure people feel this way about fanfic and this gets into the critique in fanfic aspect. Where does critique come in to any fan practice, and at what point can you not turn your brain off about that?

LM: Yeah, and I do think…as much as there are overlaps, we’re talking very different generic conventions across all of those things that you mentioned. And I think it’s the breakdown of those convention where people start getting a little excited about turf. Not that that was what I was concerned about at the time, it was much less…I’ll take good analysis from anybody! But scholarship is a specific genre of writing, and as intelligent as meta is, and it can be, I have the Fan Meta Reader online, I love it, as great as meta can be it’s a different genre of writing from scholarship. So that’s kind of where I got a little…

ELM: This is interesting though because I feel like a lot of the tensions between fan studies and fans are not…what you described is definitely something I’ve experienced as well, being a professional book critic and watching the ways sometimes people analyze some of these works, and I will feel like a dick but I’m also like “well… this is a really bad reading that you’re doing right now.” And these are things that you kind of practice, and obviously I know that you’re very conscious of this too, there’s levels of access to education and to languages and etc., but as far as I understand it a lot of the conflicts—and not necessarily the ones we’re talking about right now—between fan studies and fans are not so much about “you’re doing your fannish practice wrong,” it’s more about “can you even be trusted in that space, you’re going to study them, fans as lab rats and you’re the scientist.”

LM: Yeah, and it’s a legitimate concern, but one that fan studies itself is really unable to address in any meaningful way because by and large the scholarship on fans that has proven with the fullness of time to be untrustworthy generally doesn’t come out of fan studies, it comes from people who are in social psychology, or other fields basically who sort of…you have the same problem with media studies as well. Television in particular, and film. People are sort of, “well, I can watch films!” From no matter what discipline.

And as younger disciplines, as in the case of fan studies sort of…I don’t want to say we’re the bastard child of media studies but we’re certainly not [all laughing] the shining star, it’s really easy for what we do to just be overlooked. We have no control over what people outside of fan studies are doing. Within fan studies, we have extensive conversations about ethics, about methodologies…the methodology one is growing. But by and large, that kind of scholarship which does exist, I mean, I’ve seen it, and journalism as well, where people sort of flounce in, “oh my god there’s fanfiction!” You know. Shut up. [laughing]

ELM: Even when it’s not in a soul-crushing way… and I don’t wanna, you know, I have good friends who are fan culture journalists who definitely write about X fandom or whatever, here’s what’s happening in this fandom, let me break this down. You can probably…I don’t even need to subtweet. Gav does this. Aja’s done this before, and I’m good friends with both of them. But that’s not…I understand why people get anxious about that. Obviously it depends on how you do it, and it depends on people’s opinions of you as a writer, subtweeting something specific right now. But you know, I think people are always gonna get…do people who are the subject of an anthropological study feel comfortable?

LM: Right.

ELM: Would people, speaking about them in a detached tone as if they’re studying their lab rats, right? And I know anthropology’s very concerned about that. But still. It doesn’t change what it is. But…

LM: Well, if somebody in anthropology was like “here’s this small group of, relatively small group of scholars who study fans, let’s have a look,” yeah! That would feel weird! And I would at least…that’s sort of the approach I try to take with my own stuff. What would I want to know if somebody was talking about me, and how do I make that accessible to fans? So they can see what I’m saying. As you said, a lot of scholarship is inaccessible, not just by virtue of how it’s written or what it’s talking about, but oftentimes just because of the price of the book.

ELM: Literally you cannot access it, yes.

LM: Which you cannot afford it. And so I go to a lot of pains to try and make my stuff available one way or another. And that was really the impetus of the Fan Studies For Fans course over on Patreon.

ELM: Wait, tell us about this course though.

LM: OK! Fan Studies For Fans is a ten-lecture course that I decided to do back in August of last year. I am currently working on the fourth lecture, so it’s about that kind of pace. And it is actually the Patreon fees are by lecture not by month, because I knew this was gonna happen. And basically I’m just trying to talk to people who already have a grounding in what fandom is, at least as we understand it. So to add all of my qualifiers, it would basically be online, English-language, largely women’s fandom. Using that as the baseline that I don’t have to explain, I talk about what it is that we talk about and how we got into those conversations in the first place.

So the first lecture was about the term “aca-fan,” and also discussions about ethics in fan studies. The second one was an overview of the cultural studies origins of fan studies…fan studies comes out of a number of different disciplines, English literature is heavily involved in fanfiction, my own background was media and cultural studies, so I kind of give an overview of how we ended up at the fan studies point. And then the last lecture was the origins of fan studies: when it began, who was involved, what were some of the key arguments, what took off and what has simmered longer. And so the next one I’m talking about how we talk about fanfiction in fan studies.

ELM: So when you say lectures, do you record them in videos, or…?

LM: I record them in audio, which is why I have the new microphone. But I just couldn’t stomach video. No. I wasn’t ready for video yet. So. I post the text as a paid Patreon post and then I include spoken audio component as well. I figured, if you’ve got somebody who’s commuting and maybe they want to listen to it but they won’t have time to read it, that might be helpful, so.

FK: Well, it’s accessible!

LM: I actually also have one person currently who’s been translating the lectures into Dutch! Which has been incredible.

ELM: Fandom is so good.

LM: I know! Fandom is great.

ELM: Fandom is like “I like this, I’m translating it into the language that I speak!” Oh, so great.

LM: The only payment I could offer was full access to everything, but that was basically it! So I was really really grateful to her for taking this on.

ELM: That feels like it just comes from the spirit of fanworks translation, probably.

LM: Absolutely, absolutely. It’s been great, and I know…I have one other person who’s been interested in talking about…I mean, translating into French. But they are interested in doing it once the entire series is complete, which, fine by me. And of course translations are their own property to do with, if they wanna publish them as an e-book or something, more power to them. I don’t care! It’s such laborious work.

FK: That’s exciting too because I feel like even people who are relatively privileged, people who are, whatever, maybe in college and studying and trying to pursue this, often don’t have access because fan studies is so specialized. Unless you happen to be able to reach out to somebody and to really pursue it in that way…you can’t take an intro to fan studies course at every university! You can’t get there.

ELM: Can you in most universities?

FK: No, but at some.

LM: There are some that do it but not a lot.

ELM: You didn’t have fan studies at your college, Flourish.

FK: No but I taught it at MIT.

ELM: So that’s exciting.

FK: Yeah but I’m just saying it’s nice. Because I would have loved to have that and it wasn’t there and the only reason I knew about it even was because I had interacted with Henry Jenkins and otherwise I would have had no clue, and had no ability to have any…

ELM: I didn’t know this existed until less than five years ago, right?

FK: Yeah, yeah!

ELM: Amherst doesn’t have a media, there’s no media studies there. It’s a small fancy liberal arts college.

FK: [laughing] Yeah, there wasn’t media studies at my college either. I was a religion major.

ELM: It has a classics department! Don’t worry about it. So. I mean, to be fair there’s…it’s not that grim. It’s not like, not to drag Oxbridge. They must have other disciplines other than Classics and English.

LM: Sometimes not so much!

ELM: Yeah, it’s true though. We get these messages from college students who’ve heard of fan studies and I think, I imagine often, probably a lot like we were in college, into fandom, and if someone had told me I could study it I woulda been like WHAT? Maybe not. I was really committed to studying the British Empire. [FK laughs] Normal teen stuff! But you know, I just…I don’t know often what to tell them, and I know that you have a lot of feelings about this sort of amorphous field, and I’m wondering what you tell them or how you feel as an independent scholar in a world where that’s a tricky position.

LM: I have a lot of feelings.

ELM: You know, in an interdisciplinary field, too, an independent scholar in an interdisciplinary field.

FK: I would love to hear more about being an independent scholar and, exactly, your viewpoint on that, because I think it’s changed a lot since even just in the past ten years what the conversation around being in academia and studying…

LM: It’s really interesting. It’s kind of a moving target at any time, and so this is really just a snapshot of now. There are an increasing number of fan studies classes that are offered on US college campuses, and British as well I think to a somewhat lesser degree, but mainly because we just have so many colleges. And we have so many people who are interested in teaching about that. They may or may not be publishing in fan studies, but they are teaching about it in some really interesting ways. There are less opportunities for graduate study in fan studies, and that is not necessarily a bad thing.

But I should clarify: there’s, to my mind there’s a real difference between pursuing a PhD in fan studies as a discipline, as sort of the main thing, and pursuing say a master’s if you can. I know that DePaul University enables that, I know there’s an up and coming program at the University of Huddersfield in the UK, that also I believe is going to be a master’s program. I think there are opportunities for master’s students in fan studies, and particularly in promotion. You do see some consultants who are doing this, and that seems to be a slowly growing field, but there are places I think for people who know what to do with Twitter. And know how to interact with fans and who understand fans. And so to that extent, I think there is a place for that kind of study.

A PhD is a trickier proposition, in large part because there are no jobs. [laughing] To speak of. And there are particularly no jobs in fan studies, almost. There’s one out there right now, but that’s about it.

ELM: Don’t tell them about that! Don’t tell anyone else about that! [laughing]

LM: There are virtually no positions that give any indication that they’re interested in fan studies scholarship or teaching, and so that’s something that you have to kind of bring with you in addition to another field. In my case when I’ve applied for academic jobs it’s largely been East Asian media cultures, Japanese and Hong Kong film. The market fell out of that as well [laughing] so I just kinda quit doing it. But a PhD is just trickier and so you find that there are a lot of independent scholars coming out of PhD programs.

ELM: I feel like it’s often, I don’t know if Flourish has felt this way, I’m now ten years out of college and so in established humanities fields…this isn’t humanities obviously but it’s in a similar realm of unhireability. Oh, would you call it humanities? Or social sciences?

LM: What, fan studies?

ELM: Yeah.

LM: Fan studies actually is humanities, yeah. The sociological side of it also functions a bit differently. By and large people who are working in it under the title of fan studies are in the humanities.

ELM: Alright. I was thinking, you know, my college friends, they were like “I’ll do a PhD. English PhD, history PhD.” We even knew then, ten years ago, the hiring rate is something ridiculous like 4%, right?

LM: It’s absurd, yeah.

ELM: But of course, most people I knew were like “well, I’ll be one of them!” And you’re like wow, ok! And to be fair…

LM: Good to be you, right?

ELM: Actually, most people I know did actually get jobs, but they also went to a very fancy college and a very fancy university for a PhD so there’s a reason why they wound up at that, because they were in that pipeline. It wasn’t like they’d got that lucky break or whatever. You know what I mean? But even then, those are deep core established fields. Every university has a history department, you know? I feel like to add on this thing that tons of universities don’t even address in any way…

LM: Right. It gets really…yeah. It’s really demoralizing!

ELM: Sorry! This is not like, we did not bring you on here to make you feel bad about your job market.

LM: It’s the way things are. I’ve more or less made my peace with it. More or less. But I do think that in some ways I think fan studies and even media studies, which have been under attack at some institutions, I think that they’re sort of canaries in the coal mine in a way.

ELM: For what?

LM: For the general unhealthiness right now of in particular American higher education. I can’t speak to other places with as much knowledge. But particularly in the United States, adjuncting, working part time as an instructor, has just increased exponentially to the point where I think I’ve seen some estimates that more than 50% of teaching higher education teaching in the US is done by adjuncts. I don’t know if that’s true. But it is outrageous.

And I’ve done my time as an adjunct. Depending on the institution it can be a good experience or it can be a miserable experience, but what you don’t get is a guarantee of work going forward. You barely get a guarantee of work in a given semester. If a class doesn’t make enrollment then it’s out and you are the front line of people who are gonna get cut should classes not make enrollment. And that’s kind of the situation we’re in and yet we do still have a lot of PhD programs that haven’t yet woken up and figured out what’s going on and so it can be really frustrating if you’re at a discipline-wide conference and they have, say, job market workshops or whatever where they’re talking about how you can position yourself for the job market. It’s like, if you wanna position yourself for the job market, sit down in front of a slot machine, stick some money in, and press the little button, see what happens, because that’s as much chance as you have! It is luck of the draw.

And so right now I’m really reluctant to tell people “yes, you should definitely get a PhD in film, in fan studies,” because there are very very few jobs for people who are coming up.

ELM: It’s interesting because, I’m going back to this fictional asker who is in college and wants to know if they…

FK: Not totally fictional though! We get this amalgamation of many askers…

LM: Absolutely.

ELM: The ur-college student who enjoys fanfiction, it’s funny because I feel like, there have been some really great posts recently, like on Tumblr people will be like “hey actually your time in fandom has prepared you for the workforce in a way that you don’t even know, you’re really good at organizing, you’re really good at etc.” look at the translation thing! Your enthusiasm has actually led you to build these beautiful skills, and I sort of, while I think fan studies is really fascinating and I am in no position to talk about this because I also became a fandom journalist, so I could write about the thing I was into, I do think there’s an impulse to say “well I love fanfiction so much I should probably just go study it forever as an academic.” People do this with English all the time. “I love books so much I should be an English professor.” And I’m wondering if the real answer is “no, for reals, there are no jobs, so you need to find some way to parlay this into something else,” you know what I mean?

FK: It’s especially funny because there is an actual need for people who are capable of doing exactly what you were saying, Lori, taking a basic understanding of, I mean, not basic but a master’s degree level or less understanding of fan studies and experience in fandom and turning that into, “and now I will go run someone’s Twitter account and make sure they don’t screw up.” That has its own problems too, that work is underpaid…

LM: Absolutely, yeah.

FK: Community management work is the pink ghetto of modern internet culture, not that there’s not big issues with that. But I guess as a person who took that route, I see, I constantly have a hiring problem actually because I need to find more people like this. Fandom is a good place to find those people, of course, but if people haven’t prepared themselves in a variety of ways and don’t have all…you have 85% of the skills that’s needed to do this! Please! Come up with the other 15! I know you can do it! But people think they want to be an academic, so.

LM: That’s what I really do think, that there is value in undergraduate and master’s level courses in fan studies, in participatory culture, social media, whatever you want to focus on, for exactly that reason. And I do sort of hold that hope that as we have more and more productions that seem to be finessing social media in particular better, that other productions will have a look over there and in particular why and who’s doing that and how can we do that. That’s a pipe dream, maybe, but I hold out hope!

ELM: When I think about, Flourish, some of the work you do, where I sort of…it often seems like you kind of come in, cause you talk to people in Hollywood about their fans but somewhat, sometimes later in the game, like in more of a consulting way, right? And wouldn’t it be nice if that was part of the equation from the start? And maybe it is, in some places?

FK: Yeah I mean that’s been my entire…my entire, my company’s entire reason for trying to do a bunch, you know what I mean, that’s been a constant battle. How can we get paid to do consulting work and then either convince people to start planning this from the beginning, or getting in on an earlier stage. Of course it’s hard to convince anyone to pay you money to do something good like that at an early stage. I think that the thing is, this is also getting back to some of those complications and why people who aren’t, who don’t understand fandom get into it, because you’ve got a big studio and they’re hiring people in general to do social media, and then someone just gets assigned to a particular franchise and then they’re like…maybe they’re great at social media about K-pop! But they’re like, maybe they can’t translate that over into whatever this franchise is. So. I don’t know it’s all structural and all a mess but regardless I think everybody who works in that space would be better served with a better basis in some of this stuff, and I think that exactly what Lori’s saying about having those, having those classes, having access to those classes and access to those ideas is part of that.

LM: One of the things I think that would be important in those kinds of classes is something that some fan studies classes do and some don’t, to my knowledge, and I’m not sitting in these classes, but they require attention to what you might call…I don’t wanna say the dark side of fandom, but certainly the frictional side of fandom, because that’s where somebody who has that expertise can make the biggest difference.

ELM: So we’re probably at a good halfway point right now, do you wanna take a break and then we can talk about transcultural fandom for the second half?

LM: Sure!

ELM: Alright, perfect, let’s do it!

[Interstitial music]

FK: Alright, we’re back! Lori, I can’t wait to hear about your study of transcultural fandom because we got this ask about it when we were on Australian radio a couple weeks ago…

ELM: I love how you describe a question on Australian radio as an “ask.”

FK: It was totally like an ask! OK but it was, you know, when something shows up in your askbox and you’re like “oh, that’s a question that I don’t know how to approach!” And we both were like “uh…” on live Australian radio.

ELM: Yeah, you’d ignore it but we were on Australian radio so…

FK: We couldn’t do it, we were live. So now we have you. Here. We invoked you even!

ELM: So to clarify what his question was, because I think it uncovers a lot of what you could speak to, was he said that he grew up in Pakistan and that he was…I think he said he was a comic book guy?

FK: Yeah, he was a comic book person!

ELM: He was asking a vague, I wasn’t sure what the question was exactly but it was a vague question, isn’t it great that you could be from Pakistan and you could be a fan of Western comic books or whatever, right. And I completely froze and I was like “I don’t know how to answer this question,” cause yes but also cultural hegemony! And also it doesn’t go in all directions! And it’s not like we’re one big global happy family because there’s a lot of cultural appropriation! And white people in America making bad assumptions about media!

FK: I did find it a little funny that this was on Australian radio and I feel like if I were Australian I might have some opinions about American cultural products, you know? I don’t know, but maybe I wouldn’t I guess. I don’t know.

ELM: So that’s the starting point for us being total dunces about transcultural fandom, so go ahead, explain.

FK: Drop some knowledge!

LM: OK I’ll explain it all! Well, what I was saying before the break about the, not dark side of fandom, but the need to talk about what I’ve been calling the politics of transcultural fandom. That really is the crux of all of this, and one of the reasons that I like to decouple it from darker or anti or whatever, well, anti fandom is its own things. But any kind of darker side is that it’s endemic to any kind of transcultural interaction and usually if I say “transcultural” people tend to hear it as “transnational,” and it can be, but it isn’t necessarily. We have cultures of gender, we have cultures of race, we have cultures of sexuality, all these things, we have fan cultures and producer cultures and we’ve seen what happens when they mix badly. We all have, as fans often times we have intimate experience of fan culture and producer culture interactions going horribly wrong.

ELM: Should we discuss? Do you also still have a vendetta against Cumberbatch, my enemy?

FK: Oh my God.

LM: Oh, I don’t have a…you know, I haven’t paid attention to him? So I don’t know?

ELM: It’s…he’s still, yeah, me neither, me neither.

LM: Mine is more Martin Freeman frankly.

ELM: I just, I can’t.

LM: He really turned me off. But I’m thinking especially, I’m happy to drag in Moffat and sort of beat him a little.

FK: OK. As the official non-Sherlock person of this podcast, let’s get back to other kinds of transcultural fandom! [all laughing, talking]

ELM: I would like to devote the rest of this episode to debriefing about our experiences in Sherlock fandom.

FK: Oh my God.

LM: It was horrible, it really was.

ELM: That’s interesting though, sorry I derailed us, I will re-rail us, that’s not…[all laughing] So it’s funny because I actually feel like just even us asking you about our question from the radio host was, there was an underlying assumption for us that it was a transcultural question, but it’s true, we were shorthanding that to a transnational question.

LM: Well, there is overlap! I don’t want to sound like “transcultural” is completely different than “transnational” cause that’s not the case. There’s a lot of overlap, and oftentimes…generally speaking a transnational encounter will also be transcultural, not always, but that often happens. The same can’t be said for transcultural because it exceeds the national in so many different ways.

But it exceeds them, I think, in really predictable ways sometimes I have essays in three fan studies anthologies that have recently come out, and one of them is coming out this next month. One of them is the second edition of Fandom: Identities and Communities in a Mediated World, that’s edited by Cornel Sandvoss, C. Lee Harrington and Jonathan Gray. I have another in the Routledge Companion to Media Fandom, which was edited by Suzanne Scott and Melissa Click, and then the one that’s forthcoming is the Companion To Fandom and Fan Studies, which Paul Booth edited, and I also have an essay in there and all of those in one way or another are focused on transcultural fandom and its permutations.

ELM: Can you tell us, can you give us a specific example of the topics of one of those articles? I’m just curious.

LM: Yeah! The one that I did for the second edition of Fandom, I co-authored that with Bertha Chin, and the title is “Reimagining the Imagined Community: Online Fandoms in the Age of Global Convergence.” And what that one focused on, that one was really speaking…all of them speak to fan studies, arguably more than fandom, because I am trying to sort of make a disciplinary push further in the direction of a transcultural perspective on fandoms.

ELM: You’re such an academic. Can I just say? You’re like… “I like to write about the discipline, not about the…” [laughing] No, I love it, it’s so good, it’s one of my favorite things about academia!

LM: Well, cause I don’t really like talking about people that much! I like to talk about ideas instead because it’s safer.

ELM: I enjoy the history of history lectures that you have to have when you’re in a history class! So.

FK: Yeah but it’s also…it’s a really good point. Even outside of the academic sphere, there’s so much of a focus on…there’s very little focus on transcultural or transnational thinking about fandom. Even when, I mean, for a variety of reasons some of which is that it’s hard to research transculturally or transnationally and some of it having to do with even if you look at just what data can we get, well, it’s hard to get…like, if you’re doing a numerical look at social media talk or whatever you can’t get stuff out of Europe so fine! The United States lets us have everything, let’s just do that.

LM: It just doesn’t exist, yeah.

FK: Obviously it’s a complex thing but I think it’s incredibly valuable and it’s cool that you’re pushing for it.

LM: Thank you, I think so too! So just to give you kind of an idea of what that one essay was about, the term “imagined communities” was popularized by Benedict Anderson in 1991. Actually, the late 80s as well, but then he revised. And the book that he wrote that is titled “Imagined Communities” has a subtitle, oh, I can’t remember word for word, basically it’s “On the Origin of Nationalism.” Which I think is really significant, and which is something I brought into this discussion.

When we say, historically when we’ve used the term “imagined communities” in fan studies, we’ve used it as a way of talking about how particularly online people from all over the world, from all kinds of backgrounds, come together in an imagined community of shared love of something. A show or something. And that is the imagined community, which is fine, tha'ts not not what he was talking about, but the nationalism thing is really important because one of the things that he argued was that the communities that we imagine are generally speaking defined by who we exclude, what we value over what we don’t, what shared assumptions we have which presumes that there are assumptions that may not be shared by all communities, and so this was sort of the gist of that argument was that we need to be paying more attention when we look at fandoms but also within fan studies itself about how these communities are imagined, and what they leave out as much as what they include.

And that’s the kind of argument that I keep making in dfiferent ways over and over and over, that it actually started in a meta-post on Tumblr, where I was playing with this idea, I have a friend who wrote a book and she used the term “contact zones” a lot. And I had never heard it before, like oh, you know, and then I completely forgot about it, and then one day I was thinking about strife in a given fandom that I was participating in.

ELM: Strife!

LM: Strife, yeah! Which never happens in fandom except that one. Never.

ELM: It’s a real anomaly. [all laughing]

LM: And it really resonated. The woman who popularized that term, Mary Louise Pratt, described it as basically a space where people converge oftentimes in asymmetrical power relations and they clash, they fight, they negotiate, it’s a space of necessarily…not necessarily turmoil, but certainly the intersection and, yeah. Clash, of different cultures. Which to me is what a fandom looks like a lot of times, you have all these people, especially as we’ve moved from the more contained communities of places like LiveJournal to Tumblr and Twitter which are much more porous and unstructured, largely unhierarchical in an organizational sense.

I just really like this idea of contact zones! So I write a meta post about contact zones and it gets some traction and I’ve just been running with that ever since and so my interest really now is just what happens in the contact zone? And particularly in terms of transcultural clashes. Or intersections.

FK: So you mean like what happens when you have people with very different backgrounds, different expectations, maybe coming from different internet communities…

LM: And experiences, yeah.

FK: Even before we go to the question of nationalism, or race or anything like that, and interacting with each other.

LM: Right.

FK: That’s amazing. I feel like Twitter sort of is almost ground zero for that, and a lot of things that have happened on Twitter both in fandom and outside have to do a lot with the different online culture spaces.

ELM: That’s funny. To me Tumblr is the prime space I see this.

LM: They’re both, I think…

FK: In different ways maybe.

LM: In somewhat different ways, not very, yeah, they do it sort of differently. But they’re both to me really great examples of these kinds of contact zones that happen rather than that are organized. You know. People kind of… it’s…I was talking about Tumblr with Matt Hills when I first met him, several years ago…

ELM: Matt Hills is a well known fan studies scholar, for anyone who doesn’t know.

LM: He is. He’s one of the big two that gets cited.

FK: It’s notable that he is the person who, when we get mansplained to about fandom, is the person that we are always told to go read. [LM laughing] Because I guess we talk about Henry more on this podcast and so there’s this thing that we don’t know that he exists? It’s great. Hey mansplainers listening to this, you can stop, we know who Matt Hills is!

LM: Ohhh that’s great. He’s a really lovely guy.

ELM: It’s not his fault!

FK: It’s not him! He didn’t ask for this!

LM: He’s also hugely prolific, so you know, good luck reading everything. He was asking about how does Tumblr work because he was doing some preliminary research in that area, and at the time I was always on Tumblr so I said, well, you know, it’s kind of like this, I explained, and he was like “OH, it’s rhizomatic!” I was like “yeah!” I didn’t know what a rhizome was. So apparently a rhizome, for other people who don’t know [laughing], rather than sort of a top to bottom hierarchy of interactions…

Imagine a community on Livejournal. You can close it if you want to to outsiders, and give permission to people to participate, you usually have one person that owns the community, you may have more than one moderator, but it’s structured in that way.

ELM: You make a post and you comment beneath it.

LM: You make a post in a hierarchical structure and on Tumblr, as many of you know, it’s pretty much just I show up, I interact with some people, they may interact with me, I post something, it goes completely left field and I didn’t even intend that but now I’m in trouble…it’s these kinds of points of interaction, these nodes of interaction from which other things kind of spread, that’s more a rhizomatic structure.

Actually if you do, I think they’re still doing it on Tumblr, if you look at the little visualization of a post to see where it went, that’s a rhizome. It’s basically…

ELM: Let’s dig up one of these posts.

LM: They’re great! And see, like, especially if you wrote the post and it went totally someplace you never intended it to go, seeing where that happened is really interesting.

ELM: I think that anyone who’s written a text post that makes a statement, not like you know, just a quote from something, that’s gotten more than I don’t know, a hundred reblogs… You watch it and you’re like “what happened?” Right?

LM: And it’s so interesting, right?

FK: And you’re totally right that that’s the moment in which you realize how quickly the things you said in a certain context have now gone into a different context and you’re like “woah, I don’t even…you clearly have none of the same referents I do, and you’re taking it in a way that’s completely different, is that wrong, is that right, I don’t know, but I know that’s not what I intended so now what happens oh god.”

LM: And that’s a really good way to imagine this contact zone. Because those nodes of contact where people interact with your post, and then take it someplace else, or whatever, or fight back against it, you know. That’s the kind of clashing that Pratt is talking about.

ELM: This is interesting too because the one that I always get hung up on, not to make you talk about shipping again, but the thing I always get hung up on is in shipping culture in particular sometime I feel like these points of contact are happening without people even knowing. When I say “ship” and when other people say “ship” we mean two different things, and obviously I know that “ship” means a lot of things, cause I have to mansplain shipping to people all the time—sorry, fansplain shipping. [all laugh] That’s one thing I find fascinating about Tumblr in particular. We can be looking at the same image, and have a completely different interpretation, and I’ll never know. It’s not like they reblog it and they say the opposite thing from I was thinking. They’ll reblog it thinking we are in agreement, and neither of us would ever think the other person…which is fascinating to me having been in a fandom where you never know if someone’s gonna wind up on a different side of an ideological divide, and you’re trying to read between the lines: is this someone I can’t… you know what I mean?

FK: Isn’t that also especially because of visual language? One thing I’m thinking about is I have a lot of friends who live in Oregon and who are pagan and one of the big issues in Oregon if you are pagan is that you have maybe a tattoo that is something that is a Norse pagan thing and now you’re playing the “is this person a white supremacist or a super hyper liberal pagan hippie?” And there’s no way to tell from the outside! It also could be both.

ELM: Oh Oregon no it probably is both. [laughter] Sorry.

FK: None of my friends are neonazis! I will say this! None of my pagan friends in Oregon are neonazis! But you know what I mean? They’re like oh my God! And isn’t that part of it, the visual culture?

LM: Yeah, the visual aspect of it is 100%… oh, I don’t know. A lot. And I actually have two examples that kind of illustrate what you’re talking about. One I saw years ago, it was a fairly well-known fan artist in a number of different fandoms who had posted a very shippy picture, usual white guy ship, and it was a commission and they had said “here’s the shameful commission.”

Now what she was talking about, which became clear in the fullness of time, was that she had never really done a shippy picture before and she didn’t know if she was doing it right. That was the shame.

ELM: I remember that!

LM: That was the shame she was talking about. But you know, shameful in Anglo-American English language online fandom comes with its own sort of baggage that people just jumped on. And it wasn’t until the artist said that she wasn’t a native English speaker and that this was what she intended that that died off. But there for a hot second, everyone was coming down on this because of a cultural assumption on the one hand…well, just a cultural assumption that everybody who was participating in English language online fandom on Tumblr has a common understanding of what words like “shameful” mean in fandom when that was patently not the case.

A more recent one happened a few weeks ago in a fandom I’m involved in now. Guess. [laughter] Which is also very transnational fandom, where an artist from East Asia posted a drawing of one of the main characters in the fandom in a Nazi uniform. Now, she had written underneath “I don’t mean any, I’m just doing this artistically, I don’t mean anything political by it,” but she had A. written that in her own language and B. it doesn’t really matter if you’re coming at it from in particular a European perspective where you’re like, oh no. We don’t do this.

And eventually that, the artist took it down, took the post down from Twitter, but again, it was…it sounds like “ooh these are really scary,” but in fact these kinds of clashes are endemic to fandom. That is what happens in fandom, it is a condition of fandom almost and especially now that we’re so much more in close contact both in terms of space, we’re all sharing these online spaces, and time, where if you…you know how it goes, if you post something inflammatory before bed and you go to bed, in the morning you’re overwhelmed by anger and all kinds of things. That’s how fast it happens.

ELM: Don’t post before you go to bed!

LM: Never.

FK: [laughing] Sometimes you don’t know that’s going to be and then you wake up and… [all talking over each other] It’s like your pizza box is your pillow, but everything is still on fire.

LM: The main reason I’m interested in this is because when I became a fan, and I harp on about this everywhere so if your listeners have heard this before I’m sorry, but when I became a fan I was 11 years old, I was living in Hong Kong, which was a British colony then, saw a lot of British TV, and I saw Star Wars, the original one, for the first time, 1977, which is how old I am.

At that time, watching an American movie in East Asia where there were very few, you know, I wanted magazines, right? I wanted to see pictures, I wanted to cut them out and put them in scrapbooks, which I did. But trying to get American magazines to do that was next to impossible, and they were outrageously overpriced when you did find them. But what they did have was a bunch of Japanese movie magazines and I couldn’t read it but the pictures were on the cover and if you open it up…right? So I’m an American fan of an American movie in Hong Kong collecting Japanese magazines to read. And because it requires a material experience of being in one place and having access materially to these objects, I had the time to kind of learn about the different cultures that were sort of involved in that experience of being a fan there.

And that’s a time that people do not have now. You see the same things happening, but with no time to learn and so these conflicts just kind of erupt. And so I’m interested in understanding, and I think we should all be interested in understanding, the nature of the conflicts and also what people do…I’m not interested in whether or not something is good or bad or whatever, what I’m interested in is what happens when something erupts. And that’s kind of where some of this other publishing has gone.

ELM: You as an academic, as an observer, obviously you’re not sitting there trying to fix this. I wonder, though, if other people can and should?

LM: Yeah, well, what I’m trying…so there’s one more argument and this one also is kind of theoretical, but what I’m trying to do right now really is look at how, not just how things fall apart, but how people sort of negotiate those kinds of things and come out on the other side. So what I’m working on right now is a way of understanding not just what happens and not just the conflicts but how people sort of approach those conflicts. How they come out on the other side. And so this is an essay that I wrote for, expanded on in an essay I wrote for Paul Booth for his book. It’s called “Ontological Security and the Politics of Transcultural Fandom,” and in that one I put Pratt’s notion of contact zones together with the sociologist Anthony Giddens’s notion of ontological security, kind of putting them together and seeing what happens.

So Rebecca Williams in the UK has been working a lot on ontological security and she has a book called Post-Object Fandom that I highly recommend, I think it’s a wonderful read and it’s such a fruitful notion. So what ontological security basically is is the things that you sort of incorporate into your every day life, they give you a sense of continuity, stability, of things are ongoing. And fandom we theorize is sort of one of those things.

ELM: Define “ontological” please!

LM: “Ontological” is basically the starting point, a foundational thing in a way. An origin point, a starting point. Something that’s at the base of something. So when you have ontological security, when you experience a sense of ontological security it means that everything in your world is pretty much as you expect. That nothing’s being challenged. That I know that if I wake up, and I go outside, my cars will be there, that there are stable things in your life. Both in terms of objects, but also in terms of expectations and experiences and that kind of thing.

So fandom is theorized to be one of those things that contributes to ontological security. I know that if I go to AO3 and I look up a certain pairing, if it’s a popular one in particular, I’m probably gonna find some fanfiction. That kind of thing.

FK: My show’s gonna come on, it’s gonna happen every week…

LM: My show’s gonna come on and it’s not going to upset me. And that’s actually a critical part.

FK: Or possibly it will upset me but in a predictable way that I enjoy. [laughing]

LM: That I enjoy, right. So in the contact zone of any kind of transcultural interaction, a lot of times what happens is that ontological security is destabilized. That the thing that you expected or assumed or whatever isn’t what you thought it was. Or is in some way or another destabilized.

FK: Right. So I thought I knew what the word “shameful” meant in fandom and it turns out I don’t know.

LM: Exactly, exactly.

FK: Or alternately it turns out this person has a different idea than I do and how do I deal with that.

LM: Exactly. So this essay that I wrote looks at three different case studies. One of them is from my dissertation, it was Japanese fans of the Hong Kong singer Aaron Kwok and their reactions to a concert where he came out in this lamé kimono kind of thing and they were like “oh my God.’ You know. Because he was trying to address them as Japanese fans, and they prior to seeing him on stage had a much more intimate relationship with him that transcended or exceeded any time of national orientation. So when he comes out in this gold lamé kabuki thing, they’re like WOAH. He’s separating them, where they had expected to be closer in a way.

Another one was looking at the relationship between a couple of television producers and creators and fans who shipped two of their main characters [Elizabeth quietly cracking up] and the different cultural backgrounds they were coming from. And the last one was three of my fandom friends, who are also black women, agreed to be interviewed for this one, and I was talking about their experiences in normative fandom, which is generally white, sometimes middle class, white is the big one, oftentimes heterosexual, you know, this kind of thing. But white.

And all of them kind of grouped under the aegis of destabilized ontological position, and if you look at these you can kind of see these generalizable reactions. What you often get, and this happened in terms of Racefail, as well. What you often get is a range of about four or five responses to that destabilization, and particularly on the part of the people who are in power, who don’t want to see it.

So you get either "la la la la la I can’t hear you,” just ignoring the problem, you get people who are like “fine I’m out of here,” and they just divorce themselves from the issue, divorce themselves from the fandom, you get people who are try to rationalize why that happened, you know, “oh I didn’t understand that you didn’t understand this word,” it doesn’t make the jumping on this woman about saying "shameful” any less sort of awful, but that’s the excuse for it, “oh I didn’t understand.” You get people who want to fight about it and say “well no you’re wrong and let me tell you why, you shouldn’t have used that word,” people who kind of stick to your guns. And then you get people who, and this is the group I’m really interested in, you get people who say “huh, I hadn’t thought about it that way, let me regroup and see where I am now.” They basically take a step back and say “alright, I need to find out more about this,” and kind of challenge their own orientation towards the thing, their own assumptions, rather than coming from a defensive position. Does that make any sense?

FK: No, it makes perfect sense! I guess the key thing about the rationalization is that it rationalizes it and the end it results in is “and that was why it was correct to jump on you after all,” as opposed to “and that was why I jumped on you and I’m sorry I jumped on you, I feel like it was reasonable for me to do so under some senses but it was still wrong, I thought it was reasonable but it was wrong…” there’s this line between rationalizing and thinking about it and being fair to all involved and that’s really interesting.

LM: So during the racefail thing, a LiveJournal user whose name I can barely say—dysprositos, I believe? D-y-s-p-r-o-s-i-t-o-s? Put out a bingo card with different responses to the criticisms that people were hearing. And this is where I think you can really see how generalizable these reactions are, in terms of rationalization you get people going like “I’m 1/16th Cherokee,” or “I have friends,” or “relatives who are people of color,” or “I don’t see race and we shouldn’t keep bringing it up,” or “well I once dated somebody who was a person of color so back off” kind of thing.

You get people who want to argue or criticize the critique, so “you’re just looking for things to be offended by,” or “you’re racebaiting,” or “this diminishes real racism,” it’s all real racism, right! “Talking about racism and race is impolite,” “you should tone your language down a little,” that kind of thing, and then you get people who just withdraw altogether, “you’re harshing my squee,” you know, “that’s not what fandom is.”

And one of the things I was saying here was that for the fans that I interviewed at least, that’s entirely what fandom is, where normative fans have the luxury of sort of sometimes falling into these contact zones, for the women that I interviewed it seems like this experience of ontological destabilization was part and parcel of the fandom experience in normative fandom. That they can’t get out of it, because it’s always there, it’s always a shoe waiting to drop, you know, and something that’s kind of analogous although not nearly as politically charged or important is when, you know, you’re watching a TV show and you have a ship and you think “ah, this is gonna come to fruition, this is gonna happen,” and…

ELM: You think that?

LM: Sometimes people clearly seem to!

ELM: That was so cynical! [laughing]

LM: But if you watch something like that and you’re like “oh this is totally gonna happen,” and you believe it, and then the creator or somebody comes out and says “never gonna happen!” It’s a very different kind of…

ELM: Or laughs about it.

LM: Or laughs about it, or otherwise. It’s less that thing actually than sort of fangirl ridicule, I think, is probably more analogous in a lesser extent. You’re like “I love this show, I love this creator,” this is one of my fears in my own fandom! I have a very, to-date, fan friendly creator who has been lovely to this point but the possibility of having that destabilized is always there. And I worry every time they say “the show’s coming back,” there’s part of me that’s like “yay!” but there’s part of me that’s like “oh God there’s more opportunity to hurt me!” You know?

ELM: When I was in this Schrodinger’s queerbaiting space, Schrodinger’s ship right now.

LM: Or they could just say the one thing that undoes everything good that they did.

FK: Yeah. Welcome to my life with The X-files. I’m sorry. [wail-laughing]

LM: Oh my God exactly don’t even get me started.

FK: This is interesting because it puts, what I find really interesting and valuable about this and I’m so excited to read this article that you’ve written now, it puts things that are very politically charged to me in a context where it’s like, okay, this is one thing that happens and it’s really important when it happens in this context, whether it’s race or class or cultural, but it’s not unique to those experiences. These patterns and the ways people think about it, it’s a larger way that we deal with our world being disrupted.

LM: Right, exactly.

FK: I find that really really helpful in terms of thinking about those arguments and understanding. Maybe it’ll be helpful in understanding my own reactions when I find myself [laughing] slipping into rationalization or anger as I’m sure I do.

LM: My fear about this one creator just doing something…even though I don’t expect it, the fear is palpable, you know? This is such a silly thing to get worked up about, but it means something to me that to date they have been this person and if that was taken away, what else falls with it? You know? That’s…I think it’s a more in some ways I think it helps to illuminate the real stresses that people who are outside of normative fan culture experience within it, but also I think it takes a little of the sort of intentionality of certain transcultural interactions. Not all of them, obviously, there are some really vicious people out there, but when people kind of inadvertently sort of clash I think it helps to at least understand where they’re coming from, whether or not you agree with how they responded to it, so that looking at the people who didn’t realize that the one artist was not a native speaker of English I’m a little more sympathetic to them, at least as a researcher, for knowing that they didn’t know that.

But I can also recognize that that was an assumption that they needed to deal with, not the person who made the post, and that’s…what did the people do who did the thing that I think is egregious? What did people do when that happens? How do they respond on both sides of it? But especially when you think about it in terms of these kinds of unequal power relations within a fandom. That’s what I’m interested in because this is… Giddens theorized this as part of talking about politics and especially global interactions in a shrinking world, and it’s very much relevant to issues of, you know, tribalism and people kind of retreating to “Make America Great Again.” Whose America? What America? It’s the same kind of thing and that’s one response that I think is particularly unhelpful, but we do have some people who are like “OK, these people say that this guy is a problem, so maybe I will learn a little bit more about that,” or whatever.

It’s the reaction, what happens next, that I think is at the crux of transcultural fan studies and that I think is so important to get in.

ELM: That’s really interesting. OK. So I’m a dumbass because I have yet to pledge to your Patreon course and…I just haven’t gotten around to it!

LM: It’s OK, I’m very late!

ELM: I just want to hear you talk about this stuff all the time, please! This is fascinating. Thank you so much for coming on.

LM: Thank you for having me! I never get to talk about this stuff [laughing] except in writing and then I’m lucky if somebody reads it, so it’s really great to be able to actually talk about it!

ELM: Yeah, I would say, I don’t know how you feel, I don’t wanna put you on the spot but if anyone has questions can they ask them and we can pass them along?

LM: Sure! I’d be happy to look at them.

ELM: Obviously they can reach out to you directly, but…

LM: Yeah, I’m on Twitter, I’m @acafanmom, one word.

FK: Well thank you so much for coming on. This is great.

LM: Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it, it’s been really fun talking with you.

[Interstitial music]

FK: It is always a delight to have Lori on this podcast.

ELM: Yeah, well, I didn’t actually realize I was making a mistake with conflating transcultural and transnational.

FK: That was a really good corrective to both of us I think cause I was doing the same thing.

ELM: Despite having read her work. I don’t…it’s fine.

FK: Well…

ELM: Don’t worry about me.

FK: I definitely feel like I could use a more intentional brushup on the current state of fan studies! I feel like there’s a lot of stuff that I just haven’t had time to read so this was a great reminder that there’s lots of cool stuff happening and coming out!

ELM: Yeah actually I don’t know if our listeners have seen this on Henry Jenkins’ blog, you know the series that he’s doing right now?

FK: Oh, yeah! It’s so good!

ELM: Yeah, a lot of content! But so he’s basically having two scholars per installment interview each other, sort of, they’re sort of in dialogue?

FK: Yeah, it’s great! And it’s this very long format sort of back and forth kind of interview thing that’s delightful.

ELM: So definitely check it out on his blog. We can put the link in the show notes but I think everything I’ve read so far has been really interesting. There’s just a ton of conversations and also I know he’s trying to highlight newer and more emerging voices. It’s kind of, I definitely feel like from the perspective of someone who’s sort of…I don’t think I’m a total outsider, I think I know more about fan studies than your average person, but I think from the perspective of an outsider certain voices get privileged repeatedly and certain texts that are older get privileged repeatedly.

FK: Right, because they’re taught in the few classrooms there are - they get taught and retaught and so on. So it’s pretty hard to…

ELM: I think that’s a little too generous. I think a lot of journalists do some really basic googling.

FK: Well, that’s true too. [laughing]

ELM: They’ll pull out the same book from 2005 or whatever and the same basic definitions and they’re good foundational definitions, but it really…it’s a shame to me that there isn’t more exposure in the mainstream outside of that media for a lot of the voices that are coming here.

FK: I agree. State of the world. But we can help change that state by being more up on these things! So let’s do it.

ELM: We’re trying, we’re trying! And, speaking of fan studies, just as a note, I will be going to the Fan Studies Network conference. [Flourish ooooos] In Wales! My beloved Wales! In June! So we’ll do some, we’ll report from there.

FK: We’ll do some #content around it.

ELM: Very excited. Just because it’s Wales. Fan tourism!

FK: [laughing] OK OK. Next thing up, we have a new tiny zine coming out soon!

ELM: We do! You’re gonna wanna pledge for this, because we have the greatest content that this podcast has ever created.

FK: Yeah. It’s pretty astonishing and I don’t think that we can oversell it. I think that we’re, I think there’s nothing we can say that’s gonna be strong enough. I literally howled, Elizabeth commissioned this piece of work and showed it to me, and I started screaming with laughter. So if you wanna find out what it is, you’ll need to pledge… [laughing]

ELM: It’s written by earlgreytea68 who is a very well known fanfiction writer, and the ship, it’s a double drabble and you wanna say the ship?

FK: [laughing] IT’S A KLINKEL FIC!!!! [all laughing] OK so you clearly want to read this. It’s amazing. So.

ELM: It’s really good and I’m really glad that this is where our drink led to the other day. So we got that and some other great stuff, that’s $10 a month on Patreon, Patreon.com/fansplaining. If you were thinking about bumping up your pledge, or pledging for the first time, if you get it in within the next week or so then you can take part in this round.

FK: Indeed! OK. Other things you can do if you don’t have the cash or inclination to give us money to support the podcast you can also review us on iTunes, which helps us find a larger audience and is incredibly helpful. We believe we deserve 5 stars, you can give us however many stars you think we deserve.

ELM: [quickly, quietly] Five stars.

FK: Sniff sniff [both laugh] You can also send in responses to any of our episodes, even if it’s an old one that you’re just listening to for the first time, we love all listener mail, that can go to fansplaining@gmail.com, or you can send it to our Twitter handle if it’s very short @fansplaining, or if it’s kinda longer you can send us an ask although Tumblr sometimes eats asks, the box is open and anon is on, that’s just fansplaining.com or fansplaining.tumblr.com. We also have a Facebook page if you should feel like you still need to be on Facebook.

ELM: Look Flourish, do you really wanna go down this rabbit hole?

FK: Anyway, movin’ on, I think that’s it!

ELM: [laughs] That is it! OK, bye!

FK: Bye!

[Outro music, thank yous and disclaimers]

[kaixinsoh]

Final Project: Personal Brand Guide

Date: 31 Mar-17 Apr 2021, Week 11-13

Brief: Work on brand identity by creating a publication in the form of a brand style guide. You have two options to choose from: 1) Self-Identity OR 2) Department of Communications & New Media. Create a Brand Style Guide that includes 3 collateral: logo, business card, 1-2 page resume.

Introduction:

The person who originally coined the term "personal branding" was Tom Peters, who wrote an article called "The Brand Called You" in 1997. In the article, he wrote:

Today, in the Age of the Individual, you have to be your own brand...You’re branded, branded, branded, branded.

However, since Peters wrote that article in 1997, personal branding has evolved, developed and morphed in something wholly different from what he expected. Today, everyone and anyone has a social media page with their own manufactured "brand" or persona. In an interview with AIGA, Peters said:

“The thing that pisses me off about the interpretation of my article is that people have said that ‘Brand You’ is about marketing yourself...That is absolutely, antithetically not the case. It is about you being perceived as a person of value… It’s almost anti-marketing.”

Note: click on the images to enlarge and see in higher resolution if they appear blurry

Thus, inspired by Tom Peter's concept of "personal branding" as well as my own personal values of being creative, unconventional and personal, I wanted to create a personal brand that cheekily subverted how we commonly "package" ourselves to create a manufactured, commoditised and inauthentic image or identity of ourselves.

Developmental process:

Logo

For logo design 1, I was inspired by Sheryl Sandberg, who said: Don't package yourself.

"Products are marketed... But people are not that simple. We're not packaged. And when we are packaged, we are ineffective and inauthentic."

Inspired by stickers and labels pasted on fruits, I thought - why not design my own personal logo as a sticker, as a reference to product labels and stickers? Since my name "Kai Xin" means happiness in Chinese, and my cheerfulness and optimism is one of the most important traits of my personality, I wanted to infuse that same form of cheeky sense of humour and sunniness in my brand. Therefore, I designed a yellow sticker with a smiley face, with the eyes formed by my initials "K" and "X". For the font for the letters "K" and "X", I used Fredoka One, as it was a rounded, modern-looking typeface that conveyed the quirky, friendly and fun personality I have.

For logo design 2, I wanted to design a barcode for myself, to reinforce the idea of me being a product for sale. (Fun fact: the lines on the barcode actually spell out my name "soh kai xin" if you scanned it with a barcode scanner.)

For logo design 3, I was inspired by the following quotes by Roy Disney...

"Branding is something you do to cows...Branding is what you do when there’s nothing original about your product."

...as well as Austin Kleon, who said:

“Brand.” (That awful word! As if we’re all cattle with our owner’s mark burned into our flesh.)

Therefore, after researching on the design of cattle brands used by cow ranchers to brand on their cows, I thought the way that these brands had the initials of the owners was quite interesting, and designed a cattle brand of myself for myself, spelling out my initials "KX".

However, I did think that the concept behind logo design 3 would probably be difficult for people to understand and the design appeared quite simplistic.

"For logo design 3," Sun Yee said, "I couldn't really grasp if there was any concept or quality of yours that you had intended to portray other that it being the initials of your name." Charmaine also added, "I personally feel that logo design 3 would not be in my list."

I agreed with my tutor Aaron, who said, "The barcode logo concept seems to work the best in unifying the ideas that you have for the name cards and resumes."

Iwani said, "Since the barcode plays a crucial part in your logo, you may want to consider imbuing your name in it?" and Ning Zhuang added, "for the barcode, I think your name drowns out compared to the barcode since it's taking up way more space, maybe you can play around with space more."

Based on their feedback, I decided to go with logo design 2 - the barcode logo. I experimented more with different design variations by imbuing my name in the logo (as Iwani suggested) and by playing around with space and making the name more prominent (as Ning Zhuang suggested):

The original three logos are depicted in the 1st row above.

I tried incorporating my name within the barcode (2nd row, above), but found that it was a little difficult to read with all the lines.

I scanned a print of my fingerprint (which symbolises my identity and self) and cut a section out of it to resemble the lines in the barcode (3rd row, centre, above), but I felt that people seeing it might not understand clearly that it was a reference to my fingerprint.

I also experimented with typography, such as by using only a K in the logo (3rd row, right & 4th row, left), but I decided against it as (1) just a single K wouldn't be able to show my name and (2) it didn't resemble a barcode as much.

Finally, I decided to go with a more minimalist approach combining my name and the barcode.

To make my name more prominent (as opposed to the original 1st design, where the name was placed at the bottom and the font size was quite small), I increased the font size of my name and adjusted the kerning such that it fit the width of the barcode exactly. To put emphasis on my name, I shifted it to the top of the barcode. To show that my self was inseparable from me as a product of society, I combined the name and barcode. Using the Rectangle Tool, I drew the lines on the barcode to combine them with the name, such that it looked as if the lines flowed seamlessly from the letters to the barcode. Finally, as the entire barcode looked a little too large and lacked a sense of balance (since the barcode portion was larger than the name portion), I masked the bottom of the barcode such that the height of the barcode portion was exactly the same height as the name.

Name card

I came up with three ideas for the name card.

Name card design 1

For name card design 1, based on the initial concept of product stickers for logo design 1, I thought - "Why not use a sticker pack instead of a conventional name card?" I thus created 6 sticker designs that deconstructed the elements of a name card, including a logo, name, contact number, email, what I do etc.

For the stickers, I experimented with a variety of shapes and text styles. For example, for the "I'm a person not a product" sticker, I began with the Ellipse Tool to draw a white ellipse. I then duplicated the shape and made a smaller yellow ellipse, to create an outlined effect. Then, I selected the shape of the ellipse and transformed the Selection to Path. Using the Move Tool, I transformed the Path and made it into a smaller ellipse within the larger yellow ellipse so as to type the text in the shape of the ellipse. I first typed the first half of the message "I am a person" on top, then created a new Type layer for the second half "not a product", using the Path Selection Tool to move the path so that the text would be aligned at the bottom of the ellipse. On top of that, I added a paper texture on Multiply mode and a plastic texture on Screen mode to make it look more realistic.

This was done for the rest of the stickers, such as the phone sticker, where I similarly made a Path from Selection in the shape of the phone and typed my contact number, or the "Creative Designer" sticker, where I began with a Custom Shape layer and adjusted the Live Shape Properties to increase the number of points on the star from 5 to 30 to get a starburst shape. Subsequently, I typed the text and used the Warp Text function to make the shape of the text follow a wave, then added textures on top.

One of my classmates Ning Zhuang commented that "for name card design 1, I do think it'll be quite hard to decipher as a formal business card if it's all going to layout in a sticker pack." Although I really liked the stickers and thought it made sense in terms of my personal branding concept, I agreed with her and thus decided not to use it as a name card, but instead as a separate collateral as a sticker pack.

Name card design 2

For name card design 2, I went with a more creative and unorthodox concept for a name card. Rather than a "card", why not represent me literally as a packaged product, like a toy figurine in a pack?

Name card design 3

For name card design 3, I used a more conventional format of a card, but instead of a regular name card, I designed it to resemble a product label. The name card would be printed with a product description of myself, with the product name (my name), product content, ingredients, as well as my barcode logo. I also used common packaging labels like "Boxed" or "Fragile, handle with care", but instead put a creative twist on them by changing them to "Thinks out of the box", "Anti-fragile" and "Handles things with care".

Ning Zhuang said, "Love the idea of name card design 3" but asked, "is there a meaning behind using the grams and ml?"

The original intention behind putting Creative (100g), Graphic Designer (50ml) and Creative Writer (50ml) was to play with the way nutritional information of products are usually presented, with units of measurements like grams and millilitres. It was meant to convey that I am half a designer (50ml) and half a writer (50ml) - put it together and you get 100% creativity. Based on the feedback, I thus decided to make it clearer by changing it to percentages - 50% Graphic Designer, 50% Creative Writer and 100% Creative.

Resume

For my resume, I decided to present it in the format of a receipt.

As receipts are used to represent goods that have been bought and sold, and are a proof of purchase, I thought that it would be effective and appropriate to represent my resume as a "proof" of my qualifications. Also, it represents how designers/creatives like myself are often seen as "sell outs" who become commoditised products for sale or for hire by businesses.

To make it look like a receipt, I scanned a crumpled piece of paper and used it as a background. Then, using the Lasso Tool, I cut it to the shape of a receipt. Next, I added my barcode logo on top, along with contact details, like how the details and name of a shop would be on the top of a receipt. Then, I added the list of my education and work experience below and added the dates on the right (like the list of products and prices on a receipt). I chose to use the typeface Monaco, as it was a mono-spaced sans-serif font that resembles the font commonly used for printing on receipts.

Comments raised during the critique:

For the final critique in Week 13, Kai En pointed out, "just one minor thing that I wanted to point your attention to- all along your name has been rendered in lowercase, not sure if you want to keep to the same treatment for your name card that is currently in Title Case?"

Iwani said, "for your resume, you may want to consider bolding the headers/company titles to emphasize the visual hierarchy?"

How the work has improved post-critique:

Based on the feedback, I decided to change the title on my name card into all lowercase, as Kai En pointed out, to keep it consistent with my barcode logo. I also bolded the company titles on the resume to emphasise the subheadings, as Iwani suggested.

Syn Yee had also commented, "while I liked your logo idea as a barcode, I thought maybe your name could be slightly apart from the barcode itself just to make the text look clearer. Because it appeared to me a little cluttered when you put both elements attached to each other". However, as I had previously already played around with different compositions for the barcode logo (see above), and had deliberately combined the name and barcode together as a form of commentary to show how our personal identities and selves couldn't be separated from our identity or image as a product of society, I decided that I would stick with the logo composition.

In addition, even though this wasn't explicitly mentioned in the feedback, I noticed that the handwriting font I had used for captions and sub-body text in my initial presentation, Reenie Beenie, was a bit difficult to read. I had originally chosen the typeface because I wanted to give a sense of authenticity to my personal branding and include a handwritten sort of feel that made it feel as though the brand was created by a person, not a product. However, for my final brand style guide, I decided to remove the Reenie Beenie font and use Monaco for my body text, as it was (1) more in line with my brand identity and (2) more legible.

Finally, this resulted in the final brand style guide.

[femmesfollesnebraska]

Blog at 40, Liza Lou at 40

This is the fourth blog post I’ve written on what (feminist and/or women) artists have done/created during their 40th year during my 40th year. First 3:

1) Judy Chicago

2) Carolee Schneemann

3) Wanda Ewing

I include artworks by myself inspired by and/or in tribute to the artists at end of each post as well.

Today I write about Liza Lou, (born 1969), American visual artist best known for her large scale sculptures using glass beads.  Though not currently an artist on the top of my inspiration list, as much of her work leans primarily on the more conceptual side of the spectrum--though not entirely, to be sure--I came across her work the other day as I was researching what contemporary artists are doing in response to the pandemic for an upcoming presentation, and found her Apartogether project.

Screenshot of an Instagram post by Liza Lou announcing the start of Apartogether in response to Covid-19, 2020.

Apartogether is a community art project founded by Liza Lou at the onset of the COVID19 pandemic to foster connection and creativity during a time of social distancing and isolation.  Lou encourages IG followers to make work from familiar materials around the house and to tag it with the Instagram handle @apartogether_art and she archives it on her website. What started as an exercise in combatting long-term isolation has grown into a global community of makers eager to share. She also hosts art talks, a “sew-in” and sessions on Zoom to facilitate conversation among the participants.  As an accessible, open art project, I completely love this - anyone can participate, and everyone can view and appreciate this project. It’s warm, intimate, personal while also being enormous, inspirational and broadly impactful. I can’t help compare to Judy Chicago’s Honor Quilt from The Dinner Party, a crowdsourced quilt made from patches from people worldwide dedicated to women past to present, famous to non, that traveled with the famous work throughout its international tour in the 1980s, but I digress.

Speaking of Chicago, while doing my current research, I found an Op-ed for the New York Times she wrote about the significance of work with content; she articulated everything about her and feminist art that I love now and always have:

Does art matter when we are facing a global crisis such as the current Covid-19 pandemic?

Obviously, there is a great deal of art that doesn’t matter. This includes the work issuing from those university art programs that every year pump out thousands of graduates, taught only to speak in tongues about formal, conceptual and theoretical issues few people care about or can comprehend. Then there is the art created for a global market that has convinced too many people that a piece’s selling price is more important than the content it conveys.

But when art is meaningful and substantive, viewers can become enlightened, inspired and empowered. And this can lead to change, which we urgently need. 

...One might ask what this has to do with the global pandemic afflicting us. The answer lies in art’s power to shed light on the problems we are confronted with at this difficult time.  

...Art that raises awareness of the state of our planet can be especially important in today’s world. One example of this is the work of the contemporary artist and illustrator Sue Coe, whose pieces on animal mistreatment have been ignored or, at best, marginalized by an art community that seems to privilege meaninglessness over consequential work...

(I can’t express how much I love Judy Chicago’s adamant voice. It is so assertively, unapologetically and refreshingly personal and feminist. I highlly recommend reading her books and autobiographies - a new combined edition is actually coming out next year. Also, I currently have her book, New Views, which I’m stoked about starting and reviewing...but I digress, again!)

The point in my bringing this quote up around Liza Lou is that her work created during her 40th year, 2009, Book of Days, leans conceptual.

Liza Lou. Book of Days, Paper and glass beads.

I say “leans,” because, to make an obvious (and unfair) comparison: viewing Book of Days, without context, versus viewing this Judy Chicago’s The Dinner Party, a monumental work with 39 place-settings dedicated to women in Western art history (which Chicago debuted her 40th year, read my blog post here), there is clear content beyond the media with the latter, where the former emphasizes the media. Of course, Dinner Party’s media is very important, and Book of Days does have content beyond the media; its just immediate objective response in comparison is content vs. media. Which, is what Chicago was referring to in her editorial.

My preference typically leans towards feminist art with immediate content impact; as evidenced in my posts on Carolee Schneemann and Wanda Ewing. I haven’t thought about Liza Lou in years; in fact, Ewing was the one to introduce me to her work when I made a series of self portraits using beads (see below). Notably Lou is known for this work, which I love, Kitchen:

Liza Lou: Kitchen, 1994 (c) Liza Lou

Kitchen is a full-scaled kitchen Lou covered, over a five year period, with glistening beads. Lou created this piece after researching the lives of 19th women and kitchen design; the made plans, crafted objects out of paper mâché, painted them, and applied the beads in a mosaic of surface pattern. This work, in Lou’s words, “argues for the dignity of labor”—a labor that here manifests as process and subject, and is linked to gender, since crafts and kitchen work are traditionally female domains.  Some of the popular branded kitchen products depicted also might  comment on American life. Of course I can make a comparison to Chicago’s The Dinner Party, too, using the dinner table/traditional feminine media (ceramics/quilting) to honor these typically deemed inferior media. Or pop art, of course. Lou’s stands on its own--less reverential --more playful, inviting, fun and even personal (Lou did it all herself whereas Chicago had 400+ volunteers; Lou dedicates this to the all-encompassing woman; Chicago to specific though broad reaching women); both with extremely detailed thought, research and planning. 

I didn’t mean for this to be a comparison of Chicago to Lou - but, it is how I’ve been thinking these last couple days--because, to bring it back to Lou’s Book of Days, this work can be viewed as more akin to minimalist work--one can guess what it means--a tall, stack of beaded forms depicting paper--beautiful, white, simple--maybe you think of other such minimalist works that make you aware of your environment such as Mary Corse’ White Inner Bands (2000) made of glass microspheres inside acrylic canvas. I imagine as you move around Lou’s stack of beaded objects, the beads sparkler or shimmer, femininizing the perhaps stale environment. Or perhaps think of the intense linework of Edwina Leapman. Like the laborous line-making of Leapman, so is the intricate beadwork of Lou.

As such, Book of Days, like Kitchen, points to labor, containment, and womanhood in a beautiful, perhaps more subtle way. To be sure, Book of Days includes 365 beaded sheets - the days in a year, completed her 40th year. Making literal cognitive and/or physical aging, perhaps? Perhaps....

Back to viewing it as an object - no context on the wall, no intent known. Is such work, sans clear feminist intent, feminist? Or would it just be meaningless work such as that Chicago points to in her article, lacking educational value?  It is, in fact, feminist regardless. A woman making work, taking up space, is, in itself, political and a feminist statement. As women have been left off the walls, books and pages of history the majority of time and still are underrepresented (minorities even more), anything a woman (broadly defined) makes and is on view, is feminist in itself, clearly evoking social justice intent, or not.

To be sure - I don’t know, but I think Chicago would agree. To note as well, much of her work has minimalist aesthetics, as her training was such.

Here are a few of my older works, made with beads, inspired by Liza Lou:

Sally Brown Deskins: Babylove, beads and yarn on silk, 2007

Sally Brown Deskins: Self portrait with beads, pastel on black paper, 2008

Sally Brown Deskins: Heidi Clock - beads and yarn on a clock (I wish I had a better photo of this - it was donated and sold at an auction at the Bemis Center in 2008 or 2009; the purchaser told me she thought it was the “most authentic clock in the room” (all of the art was clocks)

-Sally Brown Deskins

IG @sallery_art

~

Les Femmes Folles is a volunteer organization founded in 2011 with the mission to support and promote women in all forms, styles and levels of art from around the world with the online journal, print annuals, exhibitions and events; originally inspired by artist Wanda Ewing and her curated exhibit by the name Les Femmes Folles (Wild Women). LFF was created and is curated by Sally Brown Deskins.  LFF Books is a micro-feminist press that publishes 1-2 books per year by the creators of Les Femmes Folles including the award-winning Intimates & Fools (Laura Madeline Wiseman, 2014) , The Hunger of the Cheeky Sisters: Ten Tales (Laura Madeline Wiseman/Lauren Rinaldi, 2015 and Mes Predices (catalog of art/writing by Marie Peter Toltz, 2017). Other titles include Les Femmes Folles: The Women 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 and 2016 available on blurb.com, including art, poetry and interview excerpts from women artists. A portion of the proceeds from LFF books and products benefit the University of Nebraska-Omaha’s Wanda Ewing Scholarship Fund.

Submissions always open!

https://femmesfollesnebraska.tumblr.com/callforart-writing

[theabominableblogger]

Rewatching “Batman Returns”

*zips up coat*  Welp, it’s snowy out.  It snows a lot in this movie.  Might as well watch it cause Netflix put all the other Burton-Schumacher movies up. 

*in best Han Solo voice*  I got a bad feeling about this....

[Mr. Cobblepot stands in front of the window as his wife is giving birth in another room] *in best Pee Wee Herman voice*  PEE WEE?!?  What are you doing here?!?

YOU LOCKED THE BABY [Oswald] IN A CAGE?!?

I feel like this movie gets even more Tim Burton-y as it goes on.

*jams along to the Batman theme*

Yeah no way.  That baby’s dead.  End of movie.

Stan Winston!

So... the Batman opens with the creation of the Penguin. 

*nods*

DC Comics *ding*

[Directed by Tim Burton] Yes, we know!

Matte painting!

“Man or Myth:  Or is he?”  Bum bum BUUUUUMMMMMM!!

Hey Alfred!

Is that Felix the Cat as the logo for Shreck?

Oh my Godddd, Christopher Walken....

“Frankly, I [Shreck] cringe, Mr. Mayor.”  It needs more cowbell!

You can tell they tried to make Michelle Pfeiffer really frumpy before she put on the Catsuit

The dude who plays Schreck’s son is trying his darn best to replicate Christopher Walken’s accent

“Remind me [Shreck] to take it out on what’s-her-name.”  You had her [Selina] as your secretary for God knows how long and you don’t know her name?

Ominous red lighting...

*The clown henchmen run out of the giant present*  I SAW DOUG JONES!

I totally forgot that @actordougjones was in this movie!  Holy crap!

Ohhhh that’s an awesome shot!

I wanna be that one random clown henchman just casually walking down the street on stilts and completely ignoring everything that’s going on.

“That was very brief.  Just like all the men in my life.”

Of course there’s a graveyard in this movie.

Wait, isn’t that one sculpture the one thing that pops up in Beetlejuice?

Gotta admit, the makeup on Danny Devito looks awesome

“You [Shreck] and I [Oswald] are similar.”  You both have hair.

“What, is that [umbrella] supposed to hypnotize me [Shreck]?”  I literally just had that same thought.

Wait so if Penguin doesn’t know his human name, how do his henchmen address him?  Do they just call him “Penguin-Man” all the time?

“Honey, I’m home!  Oh, I forgot- I’m not married.”  Gotta hammer it in that she’s single

I want that black cat like now

Why does Selina have a pair of tomatoes in the window?

WHY WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR CAT MILK?!?

Why would you [Selina] even open the protected files?

Worst.  Secretary.  Ever.

Green screen!

Yep, nope, she [Selina] dead.  There should a puddle of blood around her.

Here’s a fun fact:  cats will eat your dead body.  No joke.

Those tights are covered in runs.  Selina, were you even thinking while getting dressed this morning?

So is she [Shreck] just repeating the actions that she did before Shreck tried to kill her.

“... a candlelight staff meeting for two.”  Holy crap, how did I never catch that?

WHY ARE YOU SHREDDING THE STUFFED ANIMALS?!?  ESPECIALLY THE SOCK MONKEY?!?

Though in all seriousness, if she did shred them in the sink like this, she’d only get like half of one properly shredded.  Pretty sure sink shredders don’t work like that.

Where did the random black spray paint come from?

Is that wire?

“I don’t know about you, Ms. Kitty, but I feel so much yummier.”  Who wrote the script for this?

Hi Doug Jones!

So the Penguin is on this rising duck mechanism but then he’s able to pop fully out of the sewer in the sidewalk and step out?  Did his seat have a rising platform as well?

For a Batman movie, I’m 35 minutes in, and there hasn’t been a lot of Batman.

If Penguin doesn’t know his birth name, how the heck is he gonna find his parents in the public records?

Snowwww... all the snow...

I’m digging the top hat Penguin has

Are those black roses Penguin’s putting on his parents’ grave?  Of course they are.

“I was their number one son, and they treated me like number two...”  Oh my God...

So how is Selina able to beat up dudes when she even says that this is her first time doing that?

Can’t Bruce just sit next to Shreck or something so that he doesn’t have to toss the report across the table?

Freaking Bruce’s mouth stays open the entire time Selina is in the room.  Close it before a fly goes in!

So if Shreck were “the people’s man,” shouldn’t he have let Oswald finish eating the raw fish upstairs in his den before escorting him down to the surprise?

And why is Oswald’s hideout above a public workplace?

Why would you elect Oswald mayor anyway?  Why would Gotham ever think that this was a good idea in the first place?!?

“I’d like to fill her void.”  Noooooooooooooooo......

Did Shreck just reference the Reichstag fire?  Buddy, no.....

Doggie!

Gotham looks so much smaller than it did in the first movie

*Batman programs the Batarang to hit all four people*  Whaaaattt?

Most iconic shot of the whole movie.

Where’d she get the whip?

*Catwoman starts jump roping with the whip*  I mean... same though.

Wilhelm Scream!

He [Batman] just killed that dude!

Why does the store have a functioning microwave out in the first place?  At night time?

“Meow.”  Fun story:  so my dad and my sister I were watching this on FX and my dad refused to leave the hotel for supper until after this scene because he thought this part was hilarious.

It’s [the Penguin’s umbrella] actually a helicopter... 

*instant Star Wars Rebels flashbacks*

Matte painting!

Is that actually eyeshadow Michael Keaton’s wearing underneath the cowl?

*actually turns off the volume when Oswald flirts with one of the younger voters*

“Just the pussy I’ve been looking for.”  What was the age demographic for this movie again?

*Catwoman starts giving herself a bath*  Eewwwww....

I want Selina’s coat like now.

“Who are you [Oswald]?”  The dude’s running for mayor, and you don’t know him?

“Sickos don’t scare me.  At least they’re committed.”  “Well.. yeah...”  I mean...

“I will relay the message.”  Alfred is the best wingman imaginable.

Gotta get out the rubber cowl...

So how the heck was Penguin able to break into the Batmobile if he hadn’t even seen it before?

*The Ice Princess falls right on top of the fuse box*  Yeah, no, she’s dead.

*quotes the mistletoe quote*

[Catwoman literally licks Batman across the mouth]  *barely audible* Whyyyyy.....

“Let’s consummate this fiendish union.”  Nooooooo....

Now that I think about it, this movie is basically 70% one-liners and sexual innuendos

Oh, now the Batmobile detects a foreign object?

There’s a poster in the crowd that says “Oswald Means Order”

“Security?  Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave?”  He’s [Bruce] got a point there, Alfred.

[Frequency Jammed]  Is it raspberry?

When the heck did Batman record Oswald during the Batmobile takeover?

OK guys, who brought the lettuce?  Is there always a random farmer’s market who always hangs out at important speeches for that reason only?

“Why is there always someone who brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?!?”  Exactly!

“Did you miss me?”  Andrew Scott said it better.

“I am not a human being!  I am an animal!”  Why you gotta try and reference “The Elephant Man” like that?

Did I just hear the opening notes for “Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer?

I like the dude in the background that has the the Leaning Tower of Pisa as part of his mask

Mask of the Red Death in the background!  And on a staircase nonetheless!

*sings* WHY SO SILENT, GOOD MONSIEURS....

I want Selina’s dress.  I don’t care that it’s probably gonna show off my scoliosis but that’s a super nice dress.

Batman even has his own customized stationary?

“Many of you won’t be coming back.”  Some of you may die, but it’s a sacrifice... I am willing to make!

*jams out to the Batman theme once again*

Fun fact:  they used actual penguins for this scene when they’re running around with firecrackers on their backs.  But not actual firecrackers because hello, what’s wrong with you?

“Estimated casualties 100,000 people.”  I think the most we’ve ever seen in this movie concerning the townspeople is like 50 or something.

Random question:  how come we never see Penguin actually swim?

*The duck boat thing drives up the stairs*  Would that even be possible?

Oh, so Batman comes out of the crash totally fine?  Dude, your cowl is freaking rubber!

*Penguins sets off the firecrackers attached to the penguins*  WHY?!?!?  YOU KNEW THAT THEY WERE STANDING LIKE TWENTY FEET AWAY FROM YOU!

*The Arctic World sign collapses*  No, not the polar bear!

*Bruce tears off the main part of his cowl* 

So how does the whole actual nine lives left?  Selina got shot in the shoulder and side, so those aren’t kill shots.  So technically, she still has four lives left instead of two.

*Bruce finds Shreck’s electrocuted corpse*  Wow, “Mars Attacks” looks horrible, you guys.

I’m pretty sure Oswald’s just spitting up green goo or something because that’s definitely not blood.

“I need a cold drink of ice water.”  Those are terrible dying words

Netflix just captioned the mourning penguin noises as “Awk Awk”

Aaawww the cat!

Why do you have the front passenger window open, Alfred?  Bruce is gonna be freezing sitting in the back.

*Catwoman looks up toward the Batsignal*  There ya go

[scottadamsblog]

Some Fake News About Me from Bloomberg

Last autumn, before the election, a writer for Bloomberg asked to spend a day with me to interview me for a feature piece about my blogging on Trump, and my life in general. I could tell from the initial conversation that it was going to be a hostile article. The reporter was open about being deeply frightened of Trump, believing him to be a racist, sexist, homophobic monster. So you can imagine how she felt about me for writing flattering blog posts about his persuasion talents.

I quickly determined that agreeing to the interview would be foolhardy. Obviously it was going to be a hit piece. The writer weakly tried to conceal that fact, but failed miserably. 

If I agreed to the interview, I knew I would be making myself the target of ridicule and shame, baring my flaws to the world -- both the real ones and the fake news ones. No rational person would agree to such an interview. It was a suicide mission.

So I agreed to the interview. 

Regular readers know I don’t experience embarrassment like normal people. I just thought it would be funny to have them write about how wrong I was. . . just as the election was about to prove how right I was.

The day I agreed to the interview, I told my girlfriend Kristina that I was going to be the subject of a “hit piece” in Bloomberg. When the writer asked to speak to my brother, for background, I told him it was a hit piece, but I invited him to do it anyway, just for fun. Obviously, no sane person would agree to be interviewed for hit piece on his own family.

So my brother agreed to the interview. 

We’ll have a good laugh about it later today. He got framed as a gullible idiot for “believing” something my mom told us when we were kids.

Check the article here and see if you can spot the fake news and the places where context has been tweaked to make things look both true and misleading at the same time. I’ll tell you what you missed, if anything, after you read it. Compare your impressions to my Fake News Report Card below.

Here’s the Bloomberg article by Caroline Winter

Fake News Report Card

1. The article and headline used my old phrasing “master wizard” instead of the updated “Master Persuader” that I used in 95% of my work. That was an intentional choice by the editor to create the KKK association in your mind, or at least to make it all seem silly.

2. The anecdote about me showing her a Victoria’s Secret Whencast that I made didn’t happen. One of the hundreds of public Whencasts on the site included that content, created by a woman. I might have opened that one along with others as different examples of what the software can do. By highlighting that one bit of fake news (saying I created it), and putting it in the context of my girlfriend being too young for me, it created a powerful and intentional creepy vibe.

3. Kristina doesn’t live with me. She was staying at my house temporarily while her place was having some repairs and upgrades. 

4. When an article is intended to be favorable, you see photos that make me look relatively good, like this one, from Peter Duke:

When an article wants you to look bad to the reader, you see photos like this, from the Bloomberg article:

This is standard practice on both sides of the political spectrum. Publications pick the photos that tell their bias, not the story.

5. The headline suggests I am somehow, maybe, in favor of genocide. Obviously I’m not in favor of genocide, and the article later weakly explains that. But by then, the damage is done. Your brain is most influenced by what you read first, especially if it is in a headline.

6. The headline says Trump hypnotized me. I would accept that as a hypothesis, but the article doesn’t address the point at all. The implication is that I’m a gullible nut-job, as opposed to one of the few people who predicted Trump’s win and provided lots of cognitive-science-backed reasons for the prediction.

7. The article was initiated before the election, and was originally intended for publication about then. But a funny thing happened that ruined everything for Bloomberg. Trump won, and in so doing, he made me look like less of a nut. My accurate predictions, against all odds, would have been the headline in any article that wasn’t designed to be hostile.

8. To explain my Linguistic Kill Shot idea, the writer focused on the Carly Fiorina “look at that face” incident. She could have mentioned Lyin’ Ted, or Low Energy Bush, or Crooked Hillary. All stronger examples, but they don’t make me look like a sexist when the context is omitted. The Fiorina examples does.

9. The writer refers to my wide field of interests as “unusual fixations,” thus turning ordinary discussions of fitness and diet habits into something that sounds like a fetish.

10. Last year, the author of a book about seduction called The Game mailed me a copy of his book. This is common practice among authors. Sometimes it happens because an author thinks another author would be interested in the book. Sometimes an author hopes to get a public mention to boost sales. I have lots of unread books all over the house for this same reason. The Bloomberg writer focused on this one. The Pre-suasion book she mentions was also signed and sent to me by the author, for the same reason. But I read that one. (It’s great.)

You might recognize this book-related persuasion trick as the Mein Kampf play. If someone gives you a book that you didn’t ask for, somehow the book still explains your soul.

11. The writer asked me what would happen for me personally if Trump won. I talked about the good and the bad of it. She picked only the following words to make me look like a douche bag: “If Trump gets elected, my profile will go through the roof, because I’m in a very small group of people who publicly said he would win in a landslide. ... I’ll be very popular,” he said, with satisfaction.”

Notice the three dots before “I’ll be very popular.” That is your signal for a manufactured quote. They assembled it from bits of what I said and left out the context that would have rendered it un-douche-baggy.

12. This quote is out of context: “In the kitchen, Adams installed three microwaves so he “can make a lot of popcorn at once.” The missing context is that I designed the house knowing that whoever makes the popcorn for the rest of the family misses the first part of the movie. Plus, the extra microwaves come in handy all the time. I use them at the same time quite often. How did that come out sounding nutty?

13. My girlfriend, Kristina, has an advanced degree from UC Berkeley, plays multiple instruments, has succeeded in several fields, and now has 3.3 million Instagram followers. The writer mentioned her bra size.

14. This quote was cobbled together to make me look like a racist and a sexist because I write about Trump. “Adams has said, his professional advancement was thwarted by diversity hires. ‘There was no hope for another generic white male to get promoted any time soon,’ he wrote in Dilbert 2.0: 20 Years of Dilbert. (Later in the book, he noted that his Dilbert TV show was canceled after ‘the network made a strategic decision to focus on shows with African-American actors.’) 

Both events are true, but in the first case she left out the fact that my bosses told me in direct language that they couldn’t promote a white male. I didn’t imagine it. Likewise, the UPN network literally made the decision to focus on African-American viewers at that time. it wasn’t just my interpretation of events.

Here’s the problem with that sort of reporting out of context: I’m also the guy who thinks men should stay out of the abortion question and leave it to women to decide what should be legal. I also blogged about my ideas for slavery reparations. I also described myself to her as “ultra-liberal” on social issues, because I am. If you leave out that context, the anecdotes sound like an explanation for why I grew up to be so terrible.

15. The article quotes my friend and cartooning colleague Stephan Pastis as being appalled at my Trump support, and speculating that the reason might simply be that cartoonist crave attention.

Of course I crave attention. Plus, it’s my job. That part is not in dispute.

But I think Stephan’s quotes were from before Election Day, when people still thought I was nuts to predict a Trump win. Today, I think Stephan would add a second hypothesis: I did it because I thought I was right, and it seemed important to me to share with the world what I could see coming from a mile away.

Plus I crave attention. It was a twofer.

16. The writer badgered me on several occasions to make a comparison between Dogbert and Trump. I said Dogbert’s personality is based on my own dark inner thoughts and had nothing to do with Trump except they are both ambitious in the extreme. So she wrote this: “I’d thought the point of those strips was to laugh at Dogbert’s cruelty—not celebrate it. But Adams seemed elated by the triumph of a Dogbertesque president.” WTF?

That’s sixteen intentionally-biased or incorrect components in one story.

By the way, Bloomberg did have a third-party do fact-checking on the article by running a bunch of questions by me for verification. That is standard practice for the big publications. None of the things I mentioned here were in the fact checking. The fact-checkers don’t check the writer’s own eye-witness accounts for accuracy, and they don’t check for missing context.

When normal citizens read the news, they think it is mostly accurate. But when you are the subject of reporting, you can see the fake news all over it. I thought I would share this view with you so you can increase your skepticism when you see this sort of thing presented as truth.

Plus, I crave attention. I couldn’t solve healthcare funding without it, among other things. Attention is fun, but also a tool.

You might still wonder why I volunteered to be interviewed for a hit piece, aside from the attention thing. My brother just sent me a very short video clip of his first reaction when he opened the article to read it. I think this answers all of your questions.

---

Update: An alert Twitter user sent me one of Caroline Winter’s 2015 articles. You might be wondering if all of her subjects get similar treatment.

You’re going to laugh when you connect the dots.

---

You might enjoy my book because I crave attention.

I’m also on...

Twitter (includes Periscope): @scottadamssays​

YouTube: At this link.

Instagram: ScottAdams925

[the-thingswesay-blog]

31 Quotes from J. K. Rowling of the Harry Potter series:

On life:

"As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters."

On failure:

"I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution."

"Failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged."

On taking chances:

"You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default."

On inspiration:

"I've no idea where ideas come from and I hope I never find out; it would spoil the excitement for me if it turned out I just have a funny little wrinkle on the surface of my brain which makes me think about invisible train platforms."

On learning to write:

"You have to resign yourself to wasting lots of trees before you write anything really good. That's just how it is. It's like learning an instrument. You've got to be prepared for hitting wrong notes occasionally, or quite a lot. That's just part of the learning process. And read a lot. Reading a lot really helps. Read anything you can get your hands on."

On fantasies:

"I don't think there's any harm at all in allowing a kid to fantasize. In fact, I think to stop people from fantasizing is a very destructive thing indeed."

On the power of imagination:

"Many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are."

"Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathize with humans whose experiences we have never shared. Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people’s places. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better."

On curiosity:

"Curiosity is not a sin…. But we should exercise caution with our curiosity."

On a good book:

"If it's a good book, anyone will read it. I'm totally unashamed about still reading things I loved in my childhood."

On morality:

"It is perfectly possible to live a very moral life without a belief in God, and I think it's perfectly possible to live a life peppered with ill-doing and believe in God."

On empathy:

"Those who choose not to empathise enable real monsters. For without ever committing an act of outright evil ourselves, we collude with it, through our own apathy."

On destiny:

"I believe in free will. Of those that, like us, are in a privileged situation at least. For you, for me: people who are living in western society, people who are not repressed, who are free. We can choose. The things go largely like you want them to go. You control your own life. Your own will is extremely powerful."

On our choices:

"It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be."

"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."

On personal strength:

"The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more than any qualification I ever earned."

On discipline:

"You've got to work. It's about structure. It's about discipline. It's all these deadly things that your schoolteacher told you you needed... You need it."

On humility:

"Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone's total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes."

On going from rags to riches:

"I think the single biggest thing that money gave me—and obviously I came from a place where I was a single mother and it really was hand to mouth at one point. It was literally as poor as you can get in Britain without being homeless at one point. If you’ve ever been there you will never, ever take for granted that you don’t need to worry. Never."

On the pressure to be presentable:

"I would be a liar if I said I don’t care [about my appearance]; yes, I care. I found it very difficult, when I first became well known, to read criticism about how I look, how messy my hair was, and how generally unkempt I look. The nastiest thing ever written was written by a man, and I do remember that. I wasn’t looking for it either, it was just simply in the newspaper I was reading."

"You can choose, you can go one of two ways. You can be the person I probably admire more and say 'well I don’t care and I’ll continue not to bother to brush my hair.' Or you can be a weak-willed person like me and think 'oh I’d better get my act together. And maybe my mother was right and I do need to put my hair back and tidy myself up a bit.’ So I did tidy myself up a bit. But I do often resent the amount of time that it takes to pull yourself together to go on TV, I really do. If I sound bitter, then that accurately reflects how I feel about the subject."

On body positivity:

"Is 'fat' really the worst thing a human being can be? Is 'fat' worse than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', 'boring' or 'cruel'? Not to me."

"I've got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don't want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I'd rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny—a thousand things, before 'thin.' And frankly, I'd rather they didn't give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do."

On motherhood:

"Years ago someone wrote (about me): ‘She characterizes Molly Weasley as a mother who is only at home looking after the children.’ I was deeply offended, because I until a year before that had also been such a mother who was at home all the time taking care of her child ... What has lesser status and is more difficult than raising a child? And what is more important?"

On personal responsibility:

"There is an expiration date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you."

On poverty:

"I cannot criticize my parents for hoping that I would never experience poverty. They had been poor themselves, and I have since been poor, and I quite agree with them that it is not an ennobling experience. Poverty entails fear, and stress, and sometimes depression; it means a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts, that is indeed something on which to pride yourself, but poverty itself is romanticized only by fools."

On depression:

"I have never been remotely ashamed of having been depressed. Never. What's to be ashamed of? I went through a really rough time and I am quite proud that I got out of that."

On self-worth:

"Whatever money you might have, self-worth really lies in finding out what you do best."

[amorremanet]

Oh boy, you're one of my all-time favorite content creators so I wanna ask a lot of questions. I'm particularly curious about 1-4, 17, and 19, but I understand that that is a significant amount of questions, so don't feel obligated to answer them all if you don't want to - just do whichever ones you please! 🌸

asks for fanfic writers

number 2 is done over here, but!

1. things that inspire you

……Uh. That’s a good question. tbh, it’s hard for me to pin down a specific set of things because… Sure, quotes or pictures usually help a lot, and so does music, but inspiration comes out of pretty much everywhere, for me, and at any time. Which can be super-frustrating when it happens, like. While I’m driving, or when I can’t get to my phone or a notebook to jot the idea down, but… Sighs. This is life, sadly

3. name three favorite writers — idk if this is supposed to be fan-authors or not but i’m really bad at picking fave fan-authors, so I’m going with not

1. Federico García Lorca — don’t mind me, I’ll just be over here, crying a lot, because García Lorca was such a beautiful soul who wrote such beautiful poems and plays, and THIS!! BADASS!!!! OH MY GOD. He was killed for being a gay man who gave General Franco the middle finger and didn’t just lie down for fascism but fought to try and keep his country from being taken over by said fascists. I love this man, don’t even go there.

2. Fyodor Dostoevsky — it was a really close call between him and Mikhail Bulgakov, because I’m limiting myself to one prolific Russian even though I love them both. But Dostoevsky won out because I’ve loved him longer, and I’ve read more of his stuff than I have Bulgakov’s (which is really saying a lot because Dostoevsky often makes GRRM look positively succinct by comparison) (though in fairness, that’s a bit on his brain; Dostoevsky lived with a form of temporal lobe epilepsy that resulted in hypergraphia and he lived in an age when novels were originally published as serials and you got paid by the word, so much like Darles Chickens, he went on and on and added subplots left right and center because Dostoevsky had to get paid), and The Brothers Karamazov is one of my favorite novels ever.

It’s also secretly hilarious, like. Yes, it’s a door-stopper that has a lot of heavy shit going on, too, with familial dysfunction and murder and all kinds of theology — but don’t try to read this book while you’re drinking something because you will probably choke on it at some point.

3. Adrienne Kennedy (I have admittedly only read one of her plays and I haven’t had the opportunity to see any of her work performed live, but Funnyhouse Of A Negro is legit one of the best works of 20th century American literature. It’s a one-act play, I’m not saying that this is a link to a PDF of it but I’m not not-saying that either if u know what I mean, and it will completely blow your mind — like, it’s so out there, doing stuff that nobody else is doing in the same way, and it’s fucking beautiful)

Honorable Mentions: Anne Rice (because no matter what issues I have with her, and we could be here all night, even if I cut out the, “and here is why Anne Rice is Wrong™ about fanfiction” tirade, because I have a LOT of issues with her? I am still trash garbage for self-indulgent gay Catholic vampires, especially when they helped get me through a lot of really bad downswings by being trashy and self-indulgent, the end)

Neil Gaiman (because no matter what issues I have with him — and there are plenty of them, some personal and some ideological — Good Omens, American Gods, and his run on Sandman are some of my favorite stories ever, they’ve helped get me through some shit much like Anne Rice and JKR have done, and I’ll probably never be over That One Quote from The Kindly Ones about, “Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn’t it?”)

and Leonard Cohen (I would talk about him more, I feel bad for not doing it but I’m still not ready to deal with his death, even though it’s been a couple months, just? His poetry is some of the most beautiful shit I’ve ever read, and to be fair, Beautiful Losers isn’t a novel that I’d recommend to everybody but I love it)

4. name three authors that were influential to your work and tell why

1. Augusten Burroughs, Oscar Wilde, and JK Rowling get listed together because they’re in the same post and I’m gonna cheat

2. Kurt Vonnegut — like, I love his stories themselves, of course. The first thing of his that I read was his short story, “Harrison Bergeron”; we read it in seventh grade English and it was so completely unlike literally anything I’d ever seen. The things that were closest to it were Roald Dahl (they had a similar off-kilter sense of humor, though Dahl and Vonnegut are different in how they go about being off-kilter), Fahrenheit 451 (we read it in sixth grade English and it just hit me like a big yellow school bus)

and Animal Farm (which we also read in seventh grade English, and it was on a similar wavelength with “Harrison Bergeron,” as being stuff written by political leftists who weren’t afraid of criticizing the behavior and beliefs of other leftists, but ultimately, Vonnegut and Orwell are two very different kinds of satirists and, for me, Vonnegut always prioritizes the human element of the satire over the ideological element that’s so central to Orwell’s everything ever. Like, neither of them is completely without any grounding in the other’s Big Deal thing, but they still have their preferences, and Orwell’s more about the ideas, to me)

—but “Harrison Bergeron” was still so far out there from anything else I’d ever read before it, and everything else I’ve ever read from Vonnegut continued rocking my world by just going off in his own weird little Kurt Vonnegut direction where he was gonna do his thing and you were just along for the ride. It was so much fun, and completely engaging even if I didn’t always feel like I got it, and I love this about him.

That said, though? The biggest impact that Vonnegut’s had on me is that he showed me that you can write satire without losing all of your compassion or your respect for the human element, which is so fucking important to me, because so many people conflate, “satire” with, “being an asshole”

—like, so many people take, “satire” as carte blanche to be a dickbag to people because they think they’re in the right about whatever’s on their mind, even if they’re trying to satirize people who are in positions of power like Jane Austen allegedly did

(granted, I don’t buy that version of the story with her, but in fairness, that’s because based on what I’ve read of her work, I think Jane Austen was a bitter, self-righteous snob who had no friends and that her so-called, “satire” was really just her being all, “Ugh, these loser preps are so jealous of me but I can’t help it that I’m better than they are” and having literary temper tantrums over the fact that no one wanted to spend more than a few minutes with her because she was a complete asshole who looked down her nose at fucking EVERYBODY)

(I mean, I already stanned for all of the Brontës before I learned that Charlotte had an EPIC hate-on for Jane Austen, but I started stanning for her harder when I first learned the story about how she refused to take on some collaborative project with Jane Austen that someone suggested she do, because based on reading some of Austen’s work, she felt that Austen didn’t have a single ounce of human compassion in her entire withered soul and thought that Jane Austen had more in common with the people who abused Charlotte, her sisters, and their brother Branwell, than with Charlotte herself — but that being said)

Anyway, my point is that Vonnegut is a satirist with a soul, and that’s what I want to be, too. More fabulous and gayer than he was, but still.

3. Terry Pratchett — on a personal note about why I love him, no other writer can make me smile as reliably as the late Sir Terry. Like, if it’s true that Gaiman did most of the heavy-lifting with the plot for Good Omens while Sir Terry did most of the joke-writing, then…… I’m okay with that, really? And it makes sense? Like, Good Omens was the first thing that I ever read by either of them, and its voice has much more in common with Sir Terry’s usual writing than with Neil’s

—but regardless of which of them did what more than whom, Good Omens had a huge effect on my developing sense of humor when I found it at an airport bookstore in middle school, and it was my first real, serious introduction to the idea that you could write a story with all kinds of angels and demons and magic and weird supernatural hijinks that didn’t have to be relegated to the Children’s Lit shelf like HP and Narnia (though Narnia was at least taken seriously when I was a kid, and HP was only taken seriously insofar as people could call it a literally Satanic corrupting influence blah blah whatever bogus arguments they pulled out of their asses), or unrelentingly Serious About All The Things Ever (like Narnia and LOTR)

or such nauseating Christian propaganda that it makes you want to stab CS Lewis’s corpse with a rusty fucking spork (like…… well. Narnia. Which is hilarious because Good Omens literally incorporates elements from the Book of Revelation, and a smattering of stuff from everywhere else in the Bible, while Narnia has a White Witch and a talking Jesus lion and a satyr, and yet, the one whose main characters are an angel, his demonic boyfriend, and the Antichrist is NOT the Christian propaganda here)

Moreover, Sir Terry is such a good example of a writer who grew in quality and also realized when he’d done Less Than Cool things that didn’t actually live up to his philosophical ideals, so he constantly tried to do better with his work. I respect the shit out of that, and I want to be like that as a writer, too.

Also:

That’s the shirt that he wore to conventions: “Tolkien’s Dead. / JK Rowling said no. / Philip Pullman couldn’t make it. / Hi, I’m Terry Pratchett.”

Great shirt, or GREATEST shirt.

Honorable Mentions: Sylvia Plath (because I was a completely cliché white theatre kid goth chick in high school and Sylvia Plath gave me hope that I, too, could write angry, angsty stuff that didn’t have to be all HOOM BAM MACHO like Jack Kerouac and have an audience)

August Strindberg (completely rocked my shit when we read The Ghost Sonata in the Theatre History and Histrionics class I took in my first year of undergrad, because, like Vonnegut, it was totally out-there and so unlike anything else that I’d ever read before. He’s just such a little weirdo and I love it)

John Waters (honorable mention because he’s not an author in the traditional sense exactly, but he’s a content creator and he does write the screenplays for his movies, and he’s gay and weird and a proud freak who’s all about that camp trash #aesthetic and about being gay and weird and freaky, and damn everyone who wants to make you fit in with their arbitrary standards when you’re not hurting anybody, and that’s all Very Important to me, on a personal level and on an Artistic Integrity Feels level)

and Jeffrey Eugenides (I don’t love him quite as much as I used to, back in high school — a lot of the cooling on him started when I learned that he’s straight, when I’d spent most of my adolescence thinking he had to be LGBTIQ, but that then led to an appreciation of some of the other glaring Issues in his books

like how he sort of plays at calling out southeast Michigan’s history of racism and especially of antiblackness in Middlesex, but ultimately ends up replicating it more than he actually calls it out, not to mention how the whole book is really Not Good about it deals with intersex conditions and how it represents intersex people, and it’s really heteronormative in a few ways that are now incredibly frustrating for me because I see them in clearer ways than I did in high school

—but I can’t deny two things: 1. Middlesex and The Virgin Suicides had huge effects on the process of me finding my own voice as a writer, and they both kept me alive in high school, more than once; and 2. Jeff was an inspiration because he’s from the Metro Detroit area, too, and I was totally sure for so long that nobody from ‘round here could really Make It as an author or accomplish anything for ourselves as writers.

Like, I wholeheartedly believed that I was probably doomed because I wasn’t from Somewhere Cool, like JKR, Terry Pratchett, Stephen King, or [insert any of the authors I ever had heart-eyes for entirely because They Were From New York!!! That Means They Are A Serious Writer!!!!] — but then along came Jeffrey Eugenides.

I discovered him completely by accident, because the Sofia Coppola movie version of TVS was on TV, and then I found out it was a book and had to read it… and then I found out that he was actually from the Metro Detroit area, and it was just? Whatever issues I have with him or his work, finding out that he was from ‘round here too was A Big Deal to me because !!!!! it meant that I wasn’t totally doomed to never have a future as an actual facts writer because I’m from Michigan instead of from Somewhere Cool)

17. favorite AU to write

ohhhhh man, hard question, because I like most of them.

Well, I mean. I like “correcting canon,” to borrow a term from @addictsitter — but tbh, I get so married to some of those ideas that I easily forget, until I’m called upon to explain it to someone else, that: Scott McCall isn’t canonically autistic and bisexual; Barty Crouch Jr.’s mother is not called, “Demeter” by anyone but me (but much like Braeden’s last name being Tandy because…… Meaghan’s last name flowed really nicely with Braeden’s, and Chris’s boyfriend being named Thierry Kensinger because I googled, “most popular baby names switzerland 1985” and, “most common surnames switzerland” and put together a name that I liked for him, I intend to just treat, “Demeter Lysistrata Gamp Crouch” as if it’s actual canon until everyone agrees with me); and all of my feels about [pick a character]’s gender identity, sexuality, neurodivergence, etc.…… are not necessarily shared by other people until I share them, oops

I like taking the, “non-magical/supernatural/ridiculously traumatic in ways that exceed average human capacity” AU setup for all of my fantasy, sci-fi, horror, Gothic, super-powered, or otherwise speculative fandoms…… and then finding ways to translate the supernatural parts into non-supernatural terms. Like, way back in the SPN fandom, my go-to was that Castiel isn’t so out-of-touch with people because he’s an angel; it’s because he’s autistic.

In Teen Wolf land: well, the Hales are generally not all dead, for one thing, because they’re not werewolves so the Argents had no reason to kill them, and Peter deciding to stalk and abuse Scott and Lydia has no magical components to it, he’s just a fucking creeper who preys on and probably assaults teenagers, possibly while he’s dating their mothers (since he’s canonically hit on both Melissa and Natalie, and went out with Melissa that one time in s1).

Then, Jackson’s kanima plot from s2 can be translated into non-magic terms as, for an example, Matt murdering the swim team on his own and dragging Jackson into it after Jackson witnesses one of the murders (I usually move Tucker the Mechanic to earlier and have Jackson be the accidental witness to his murder instead of Stiles), and instead of there being magical mind control murder lizard hijinks, Matt abuses and manipulates Jackson non-magically, Jackson falls harder into his fledgling drinking problem that came up a couple times back in s1 but was never mentioned again, and it’s Bad before Matt eventually gets caught and sent to prison. Even helping send him to prison with a promise of immunity in exchange for his testimony, Jackson doesn’t tell the whole story — not even to Danny — because there’s a lot of it that he’s trying to block out, or that he isn’t really ready or able to fully understand himself.

Or like in the Marvel theatre kids AU that I play around in sometimes, uh. Frankly, trying to make Thor and Loki into humans is kind of an enormous dumpster fire (a dumpster fire that I’ve enjoyed working on, personally, but still: dumpster fire) — also, for the link: cw for death, murder, kidnapping, emotional and psychological abuse, manipulation, (mostly inexplicit) references to torture and ethnically-motivated hate crimes, discussion of war crimes (more inexplicit than not but still), and hardcore douchebag!Odin (as in, he is the one perpetuating most of these war crimes, that is what I mean when I say, “douchebag Odin”)

But, uh. The characters who are not Norse gods are easier to put into non-spandexed terms — like, Bucky’s “winter soldier” plot involves emotional and psychiatric abuse; Sam hasn’t been in the military yet because he is in high school but his wing-man Riley died in a freak accident at Jr. ROTC summer camp; Pietro and Wanda are Erik’s cousins instead of his kids because otherwise I couldn’t have all three of them, and anyway, he’s ridiculously overprotective of them and will probably hurt you if you touch them; Nick Fury is the much beleaguered director of the theatre club, who is trying to (more or less) single-handedly save the entire fine arts department;

and Wade Wilson isn’t on drugs, he’s just like that naturally (“like that” here having the meaning of any number of possible ridiculous things but right now, let’s go with, “following Logan Howlett: Professor of Art™ around the mall on Saturday, narrating the entire thing like an episode of Crocodile Hunter, and dragging Peter Parker with him because Peter actually answered his phone when Wade called him at Too Early On A Saturday O’Clock and he has no idea why they’re doing this, but okay”)

And I was going to be sad because it’s 3:15 AM now and I didn’t feel like I had the energy left to talk about one completely ridiculous Star Wars AU in detail — but I remembered that I actually had a post about it a while back!

Short version: It’s seriously Keeping Up With The Skywalkers, just. Not rich and famous or anything. Also, no one is dead. Except Palpatine, probably. Anakin is a late-in-life closet bisexual who is doing his best to ignore this la la la, Padmé figured out that she was a lesbian after being with him for a while and is now married to Ahsoka — his ex-foster sister — instead, Obi-Wan was their friend in college and he and Anakin had A Thing before someone (Anakin) fell in with a really shitty homophobic pastor-local politician-crime lord who manipulated him (Palpatine) and a messy as fuck break-up ensued and Anakin has been trying to jump in Denial River ever since

(not that Obi-Wan can judge: he became Luke’s mentor when Luke was in college, knows that “Skywalker” isn’t a very common name and that Anakin and Padmé named their son, “Luke,” and he still totally glossed over how he, uh. Knew Anakin a few times over by calling him by his weirdo religious-political-mafia nickname, Darth Vader, in all the stories he told Luke, lol um, whoops?)

Luke is a soft gay activist but Leia is a hard bi activist who’s better at activist work that is more easily understood as activisty while Luke is better at stuff like community building and housing LGBTIQ kids who need places to stay in his spare rooms, Han is married to Leia but probably also kinda married to Lando in Canada (they were drunk, it’s complicated, but Lando is accepted as Basically Family by pretty much everyone. Anakin calls him, “the son-in-law I should have had” when he’s in a pissy mood with Han, which happens often), Chewie is Han’s incredibly hirsute old friend who has no sense of volume control (no one knows why his nickname is, “Chewbacca,” but Han insists that the story doesn’t make sense if you weren’t there), and the Falcon is an old van that’s constantly held together by duct tape, chewing gum, and luck

KyBen is constantly getting in trouble for being a bullying little shit to Poe and Finn on the playground (which is coming out of a lot of things, like, “Ben hates them for being more popular than he is,” and, “Ben hates them for being better at school than he is,” and, “Ben hates Finn specifically because wtf no, how dare you be so charming and make Poe Dameron smile like he likes you, this isn’t fair, Ben was like SO CLOSE to figuring out how to make Poe like him [not really], he’s going to go listen to a metal cover of, ‘You Belong With Me’ in his room and throw things, fuck everybody, he hates this town and this school and his family UGH IT’S NOT A PHASE DAD”)

Poe and Finn really just want that annoying Ben kid to leave them alone already like what is his deal, Hux and Phasma don’t like KyBen either (they just got stuck with him on hall monitor rotations and have to keep him from breaking people’s faces or else it will reflect badly on them), and Rey is a plucky, somewhat abrasive new girl who warms up really quickly if you’re genuinely nice to her and one time beat up Phasma to get her off of Finn because Finn was nice to her so Rey decided that they should be friends. Rey just moved to town with her adoptive dad

Obi-Wan is her adoptive dad

Anakin has the face-crack of the century

and Luke doesn’t want to detract from how hard this is for you, Dad, but is SUPER NOT IMPRESSED WITH EITHER OF YOU for totally failing to mention that you knew each other like???? WHAT. Fuck this, he’s gonna go to Tosche Station and then go have dinner at Mom’s with her and Aunt Ahsoka, this is bullshit

(Luke storms out of his own house, leaving Anakin and one of the kids who’s staying in one of the spare rooms standing in the kitchen super-awkwardly)

(update: it is 3:36 AM now, and I’m still doing better than expected, given how far off the point I’ve wandered here)

19. favorite fandom to write

Uh. Good question.

Cop-out answer that has a basis in fact: right now, my favorite fandom to write technically doesn’t entirely exist yet because I’m still making it up and the fandom won’t be A Thing until the novel’s actually done and people can read it. (And it’s not guaranteed to be A Thing but I’d really like it if I ever got to have a fandom based around something I wrote with my OCs. Like, even all of #The Discourse™, while probably incredibly frustrating on several levels, would be so flattering and I’d be beside myself because ksdfgkfgherb????!!!?! people??? liked??? this thing i wrote???!!!?!!?! enough to make a fandom?????!!!!!!!?!!!! *as yet hypothetical pterodactyl screech!!!!*)

Attempt at an actual answer: Right now, I’m sort of between fandoms a bit. HP is always my good go-to, because there’s always something to do there and even if Sailor Moon was technically here first, HP was my first fandom where I was really actively involved, in more ways than just going, “Huh, what does, ‘mpreg’ mean?” and clicking on that one NC-17 Aragorn/Legolas fic that abruptly shoved tiny eleven-year-old Kassie into the deep end of what goes on in fandom.

(Though in all due fairness, the first fanfic I ever posted online was some crack-ass HP/Sailor Moon crossover with a totally overpowered and inexplicably American Mary Sue self-insert OC. I was coming up on twelve, probably lying on my profile on that site and saying I was 13, and bless the person who took the time to leave a review going, “Hey, I know you’re young and this is a first effort on your part, but you show a lot of imagination here and that’s worth nurturing. BUT you’re not going to get much of anywhere if you don’t work on it and here are a few sources where you can start looking for help at developing characters better. I mean this to help you, so please don’t stop writing or having fun with it. But you can learn to do better, too.”

And then I asked for a copy of Nancy Kress’s book, Dynamic Characters, for my birthday, my parents found it at Borders, and the rest was history.)

(nb: this should definitely be read as me reccing that book. It’s not a perfect guide by any means, but it’s still one of my go-to’s for help with writing and inspiration for character development, and it’s a very solid, reliable resource. Like, I love it so much that I taped and glued my first copy back together about three times because it wore out from how much I read it and how I carried it almost everywhere, and then made buying a new copy a priority when I couldn’t put the old one back together anymore. but anyway.)

So, yeah. HP is my good go-to, and idk, I kind of want to try writing more than headcanons in the YOI fandom, buuuuut I’m not entirely sure where to start with that just yet — or where I want to start, aside from, “No matter what the actual main subject is, it will probably involve Chris doing IDEK what, something ridiculous probably” — and……

Well, the cop-out answer has a basis in fact? My original novel’s been getting most of my writing time and attention lately, so there’s that?

[bibliophileiz]

Charmed Labor Day marathon 2k18: Season 1, Episodes 3 and 9

Episode 3: "Thank You for Not Morphing"

There are no good gifs from this episode that I could find, so I'm just going to post this one from "The Wendigo."

Quick plot summary: Still trying to deal with their newfound witch powers, the Halliwell sisters are shocked when their estranged father, Victor, comes to town. Prue doesn't trust him, Piper is willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and Phoebe goes out of her way to ignore the fact that she had a premonition of him stealing the Book of Shadows.

Watch notes:

This episode has the best dialogue.

- "Some of us have work." "Some of us have fun." "And some of us are having a really bad hair day." I feel like those three quotes perfectly summarize Prue, Phoebe and Piper.

- "Oh, so you're lawyers? And here I was thinking you were shape-shifters."

Prue's reluctance to go to the obnoxious neighbors' house party is #relatable.

Victor's last name is Halliwell in this episode, which makes no sense because Halliwell is the name passed down by the maternal line.

The Prue-Victor showdown in the living room, when he blames Grams for the ways their lives have turned out and tells them he wants them to give up their powers for their own protection, is excellent. Also, I think when he tells them, "They came for your mother" or "they killed your mother" or whatever it is he says is the first time we learn Patty was killed rather than drowned accidentally.

Were there actually home videos in the '70s??

Thoughts:

The plot of this episode is pretty meh. The shape-shifters are bland and forgettable, and while Victor is ok, James Read's performance in later seasons overshadows Tony Denison a lot. Chris Levinson, who wrote this episode, wrote Victor as pretty sleazy, and Denison definitely played him that way ... when he was bothering to act. The scene where the shape-shifter takes his form and the sisters have to figure out which of the two is their real father is stilted and awkward. I know not every TV actor can be Jensen Ackles or David Tennant in scenes where they have to play two different characters, but sheesh. Not only is James Read (who won't appear until Season 3, but will play Victor for the rest of the show) more talented, but he's more likable. His Victor is more laid-back, almost boyish and innocent, and altogether more charming.

The good things about this episode are the snappy dialogue -- or at least snappier than the previous ones -- and the emphasis placed on the Book of Shadows. This is the episode where we learn only the sisters can take the Book out of the house and that their powers are tied to it. If evil gets its hands on the book, the sisters are weaker. The book has been handed down through generations of their family, and the Halliwells are as connected to it as they are to each other.

Episode 9: The Witch is Back

Summary: Enemies of the Charmed Ones trick Prue into opening a 17th Century locket which was trapping Matthew Tate, the now 300-year-old warlock who betrayed Melinda Warren to her death during the Salem Witch Trials in 1692. Before she died, Melinda trapped Matthew in the locket, vowing that only her descendants would be able to free him. Matthew is now determined to steal the Charmed Ones' power and kill them, so the sisters cast a spell raising Melinda from the dead so that she can help them defeat him again. 

Fun fact: No one burned at the stake in the Salem Witch Trials. That kindling was put to more important use, like making sure no one froze to death in Massachusetts.

Watch Notes:

I love how Matthew just drops into the middle of an outdoor cafe and immediately steals somebody's food.

"Lawyers have not changed." There are ... a lot of lawyer jokes in this show.

When Andy shows up at the house to talk to Prue, it's SUPER obvious that Phoebe's lying when she tells him Prue's not there, but I love when she demands a warrant before she'll let him in. 

Piper is so wonderfully dramatic about the blood.

The dress scene is so good. Melinda is so charmed by modern conveniences and Phoebe is so excited to have a mentor.

"Why do Warren witches lose their moms so early?" brb, sobbing.

Hannah has a severe case of horny historical romance nerd syndrome. She is eyeing Matthew like a piece of meat. I bet she stays up late eating ice cream and watching BBC's Pride and Prejudice when she's not plotting Prue's downfall.

Although idk why Matthew would call '90s San Francisco a "closed time" when he literally came from a Puritanical society.

Also, apparently Phoebe's something of an environmental activist, given her tone when she's talking about endangered species and zoos.

Trigger warning: Sexual assault and domestic violence discussion in following paragraph.

At one point this episode, Matthew breaks into the house, holds Melinda against the wall by her neck and kisses her against her will in between threatening the Halliwells.

This show hints a lot at sexual assault, but this is one of the only blatant examples I can think of off the top of my head (although I'm sure there are others -- the episode where Paige and Phoebe are mummified immediately comes to mind). Unlike a lot of shows (Supernatural comes to mind), Charmed doesn't depict it as even a little bit sexy. It's scary and abusive -- batterers frequently threaten their victims' children and other family members in order to assert dominance and control. All of Matthew's behavior, from his single-minded pursuit of Melinda throughout the episode to his blatant assault of her in this scene, comes straight out of textbook domestic abuse cases. 

Guns:

Again, I'm comparing this to Supernatural (which sort of makes sense, as both shows are about siblings battling supernatural evil), but most television shows depict firearms as pretty run-of-the-mill. Charmed is one of the few I can think of where guns are rare, and when they are presented, it's often in a way that's jarring and scary -- specifically I'm thinking of Cole coming home a few episodes after losing his powers with a gun and Phoebe freaks out and demands he get rid of it. 

In this episode, Rex gives Matthew a gun with specific instructions to use it to control Melinda and the Halliwells. That is what guns are for. They are a show of force, a display of dominance and power. I'm not saying that's always a bad thing, but it's a bad thing when people without training and/or men who have already demonstrated willingness to attack and control women get their hands on one. Everything about this scene from the music to the camera angles to Rex and Matthew's dialogue wants you to be scared of this gun. I think that's worth a mention in an age when television wants you to think firearms are as normal as phones and cars.

Thoughts:

This episode is excellent. It may be one of my favorites of Season 1. Melinda is a treasure, from her smile to her dialogue to her delight at discovering modern conveniences. And while it would be easy to just have her be The Silly Woman Who Doesn't Know How Modern Things Work, she instead becomes a mentor to the sisters, one of the first in the show. She has the knowledge to defeat Matthew, but she also imparts wisdom and encourages the Halliwells. She herself gets the reward of seeing how her sacrifice for her daughter turned out -- she realizes there will be an entire line of "her beautiful daughters" passing down her powers for generations to come.