#fun fact after saving the image in the ask i remembered i had to email my supervisor my first aid certification
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He's taking his eleven children to dunkin donuts after school
"Hi can I get a lahge iced regulah, three big things uh assorted munchkins, an'... eleven small strahberry coolattas. With whipped cream."
#asks#fun fact after saving the image in the ask i remembered i had to email my supervisor my first aid certification#can you guess which image i accidentally included as an attachment#i caught it right before sending though đ
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Two Minds Think Alike
Vanny had just welcomed this stranger, William, into her head: a beige bunny with a shady past. As she tries to understand who they are and what their motives are, she discovers a fun little secret about her new bunny friend.
This fanfic was suggested by @trashylever on Tumblr. This is my first lee!Glitchtrap fanfic! So trashylever, and everyone else, I hope you enjoy!
Vanny was still trying to get used to there being more people in her head than just...herself. He kinda just introduced himself, said âI need a homeâ and embedded himself into Vannyâs brain without a proper introduction. She didnât even know who he was. And yet here he is: living in her head. If sheâs gonna learn to live with him, sheâs gonna have to get to know him.
Vanny closed her eyes and pushed herself deeper into her head. There, she saw the bunny being that had joined her head. Vanny decided to start off like all exchanges do: with names.
âSo...Do you...have a name besides Glitchtrap?â Vanny asked. âOr something less mysterious thanâŚâMalhareâ?â Vanny asked, using quotations.
The being turned to her with a tired, bored face. â...Afton.â He replied.
Afton? Wait...Why did that name sound strangely familiar?
âIs that...a first name? Or a last name?â Vanny asked.
The bunny groaned and got up. âWilliam. William Afton. Happy?â they spat at her.
Vanny raised her eyebrows. This personâs got quite the attitude. They sound pissed...over a need for a name. âYes, thank you.â Vanny shot back.
The being looked at her before looking away.
âAre...Are you gonna ask me for a name? Or am I supposed to just give you a name?â Vanny asked.
The guy...William...looked at her from the corner of their eye and looked back down again. âYouâre a teenage girl. Thatâs all I need to know.â the person said.
Vanny sighed and sat down on the ground. âGreat...Iâm expected to live with THIS-â She pointed to the bunny in front of her, â-For the rest of my life.â Vanny muttered out loud.
The bunny sighed. âLife isnât fair, sunshine.â They muttered.
Vanny widened her eyes and turned to the bunny with a frown. âExcuse me?!â she walked right up to the bunny and pushed them down with her foot. âJust who do you think you are?!â
The bunny looked up at her with a frown. Then, they scoffed. âTry looking up my name. Thatâll give you a pretty good idea.â they spat with a dangerous look in their eyes. Vanny growled and left her mind.
Vanny opened her eyes and hopped onto her phone. She typed the name âWilliam Afftinâ into the search bar.
[A-f-t-o-n. AfTON.] the bunny corrected.
Vanny sighed and fixed the name. âWilliam Aftonâ. She clicked the search button and watched as tons of links showed up right away. Tons of links about âchild killerâ, âThe Man Behind The Slaughterâ and âFazbear Entertainmentâ came up. Vannyâs expression turned from annoyed to surprised in a single second. Child killer? Child killer?
She clicked one of the links. This brought up pictures of happy kids, and blurred images of their corpses beside the happy images. They were mostly aged 5 to age 10! Names of previously missing children filled her brain as she read them: Charlie...Cassidy...Fritz...Gabriel...Jeremy⌠And Susie.
[They were interesting kids. Somewhat ignored by the adults there. No one even noticed they went missing until they got home. Stupid peopleâŚ] The bunny told her.
Vanny widened her eyes. Holy...How did he-
Vanny scrolled down and looked at the other pictures that came up. There were photos taken of...suits?
[Animatronics. Big robots with endoskeletons and programming designed for anything you want. In this instance, they were disguised as animals and made for kids entertainment. We were the talk of the town at the time! Freddy Fazbear and the Band. Kids loved it.] The bunny explained.
Freddy Fazbear- WAIT A SECOND! âThat VR Video Game was based on real life?!â Vanny reacted.
[Yup. That game itself was Fazbear Entertainmentâs way of saving their tarnished reputation of child-killing machines. Every entertainment spot the Fazbear company opened, ended up with at least one child or person killed from robot malfunctions.] The bunny explained.
Vanny frowned as she looked at the missing kids. âIt wasnât just robot malfunctions...It was murders too.â Vanny mentioned. âYou were the cause of those murders! You killed up to 5 children!â Vanny reacted.
[Yup. Indeed I did.] The bunny replied.
Vanny huffed as she put her phone down and went into her head again. âWhy?â She asked. âDid you know them personally? Why would you specifically choose to kill them?â She asked.
âDoes it matter?â The bunny asked as they stood up. âI just did.â they replied.
Vanny looked at the bunny. âYouâre not a bunny. I wanna see what you really look like.â Vanny told them.
William sighed and closed their eyes. âThereâs plenty of images on the World Wide Web to give you a good picture.â they told her.
âI donât want to use the internet. I wanna see you. The real you.â She told them. âThat is, if your former self was programmed into your code.â Vanny mentioned.
William rolled his eyes. âI have no former self anymore. This is it. Iâm a glitch shown as a bunny.â William explained.
âYou know technology has advanced enough to change your appearance, right?â Vanny mentioned.
William gave her a dirty look. âWell maybe,â William walked closer to Vanny. âSomeone didnât put that into account when programming me into the fucking game!â William spat at her. Then, he leaned his head back a bit. âIâm afraid this is as close as youâre gonna get.â William turned around and walked away.
Vanny let out heavy breaths as she processed the words hidden under his overwhelmingly rude attitude. Despite not actually being responsible for how Williamâs brain and personality was handled, Vanny still felt hurt by his words. This man, who was once a physical being, is now stuck inside a girlâs head. Even worse: a teenage girlâs head.
Vanny closed her eyes and frowned as she looked at him. âWhyâŚâ
William hummed and tilted his head as he looked at pictures hidden in her head.
âWhy choose me...of all people?â Vanessa asked.
William smiled a little at that question. He turned around and looked at her with purple, glowing eyes. âBecause your curiosities can lead you down a really dark path if you let it.â William told her. â...And maybe I can help you with that.â William offered.
Vanny widened her eyes and stared at the bunny in both horror and awe.
William chuckled at her reaction. âThe internet has offered you endless chances to satisfy your curiosities and yetâŚâ William looked at their own hand. âYou stop yourself.â
Vanny bit her lip and lifted her head up. âW-Well...that kind of job takes a lot of work to clean and cover up.â Vanny admitted. âAnd I donât want the police finding out about my internet searches. They could see me as a suspect.â She added.
William chuckled at the last part. âThere are always incognito modes.â William reminded her. âAnd as a guy whoâs been there and done that, I will help you through all the steps. But only if you agreeâŚâ William offered.
Vannyâs awe-struck face shrunk down as she backed away. No...No she shouldnât! Sheâs worked this hard trying to make a life for herself! She canât ruin that now!
William hummed and waved their index finger. âMmm...thereâs that doubt. Thereâs the part of you thatâs trying to return back to normal life.â William pointed out. âBut that normalcy will not satisfy that instinct inside you. Iâve tried. Eventually, it found a crack and broke right through it. Youâll be better off starting early than spending your life trying to hide it. After all: Therapy always teaches you to let it out rather than shove it inside you.â William explained.
Vanny considered correcting him, but realised that he was still staying true to the facts. So, she let him talk more.
William walked closer to Vanny and gave her a charming, yet sadistic kind of smile. âYou and I have something special in common: you and I both wanted to know things only the dark part of the web could provide you.â William said. âIâve already answered all my curiosities. But you...Youâre waiting to get your full answers. The world tells you to stay true to the law...yet your instincts tell you otherwise...â William explained. He started taking steps back.
âBesides: you gotta remember that everyone only has one life. Itâs why Iâve been prolonging my life for as long as I have!â William explained. He spun himself around, sprinted up to Vanny and grabbed her shoulders. âLook at me! Iâm in my triple digits now! I should be long dead! But Iâm not! Iâve cheated death!â William declared with genuine excitement. âAnd now I have a chance to restart my killing spree...with a new body, and a loyal partner...something I lacked the first time.â William said eagerly.
Vanny smiled at the thought.
âSo:â William held out his hand. âWill you be my new partner in crime?â William asked.
Vannyâs smile grew. It was a hard offer to resist. Sheâs been wanting to do this for so long. And now, she actually has the chance! Finally, after some thought, Vanny nodded and shook his hand. âIâd love to.â Vanny replied.
The two of them spent some time determining their action plans. With just a few google searches, William and Vanny were able to find a new Fazbear Mall that was opening up. And as luck would have it, they were hiring! So, Vanny pulled up her resume. With Williamâs previous business experience, he helped her sort out her slightly jumbled resume and cover letter. Before they knew it, the resume and the cover letter was sent to the business email. Now, all they had to do was wait.
While they waited, Vanny snuck back into her brain and looked at the bunny with curious eyes. âSo...William Afton.â Vanny walked up and poked his shoulder. âWhatâs your little secret?â She asked.
William looked at her with confusion. âWhat do you mean âsecretâ?â William clarified.
âMy deep secret is that I like really dark things. And I know you do too. But do you have another little secret youâd like to share?â Vanny asked.
William raised their eyebrows and smiled a little. âLike Iâd ever share any secrets with youâŚâ
Vanny frowned a bit. âWell, itâs only fair.â She told them. âPlus: weâre living with each other. I gotta know at least a few things about you.â She continued. âAnd specifically you...not just your history.â
William raised an eyebrow. The bunny had to admit she was stubborn. âWell...Okay.â William took a moment to think. âI was a father of three kids...all who Iâve outlived because⌠circumstancesâŚâ William admitted with a chuckle.
Vanny looked down with wide eyes. âYyyyup...may or may not have found that within your history search.â Vanny admitted awkwardly.
William let out a laugh. âWow! Okay.â
Vanny walked up to him. âDid you ever get tattoos when you were younger?â Vanny asked, grabbing his arm and looking at it.
William widened his eyes. âUuuuuuhhh-â William pulled his arm out of her grip. âNo. Even if I did, youâre not gonna see it on me now.â William mentioned.
Vanny looked down at the middle of his bunny tummy and gasped. âLook!â Vanny poked a visible light green little circle. âYou have a bunny belly button!â she cooed.
William yelped and doubled over, wrapping both his arms around his belly. âHEY! No touching.â William warned.
Vanny raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. âWhy? You ticklish?â Vanny asked. âIs de bunny wabbit ticklish?â Vanny teased as she tried to poke his belly.
âNo!â William yelled back, slapping her hands away. âAnd stop that! I am a grown man!â William yelled at her.
âHmmmâŚâ Vanny leaned over and stared at the bunnyâs side while poking it a couple times. âMaybe a grown bunnyâŚâ She gave the belly a squeeze. William shrieked and slapped her arm away. âBut a grown man?! Thereâs NO way!â Vanny teased, sticking her tongue out.
William growled. âBite me!â he shouted with visible teeth.
Vanny stared at him with starry eyes. Even though William was trying to scare her into stopping, his bunny image didnât help him at all. If anything, it just made things worse! Vanny giggled and snorted at his attempts to frighten her. Lastly: Vanny brought her index finger up to Williamâs nose andâŚ
*Beep!*
William squeaked and held his nose in surprise and...almost fear. He made his eyes go cross-eyed as he tried to look at his nose, which only added to the cuteness. The moment Vanny let out an excited squeal however, William shot her a glare out of the corner of his eye.
âDonât even THINK about pulling those stupid, childish-â William yelped as his backside was poked.
âOMG! Your back is ticklish too?!â Vanny reacted. William tried to turn around, but was caught by one of Vannyâs arms around his shoulders. With her free hand, Vanny started crawling her fingers slowly up his back. Williamâs eyes widened almost immediately as his lips formed a wobbly and crooked smile.
âOooooh! I see itâs not just your spineâŚâ Vanny started scratching the back ribs. âThe sides of your back are ticklish too!â Vanny reacted.
William let out a muffled yelp and shook his head. âSSSTAHAP-!â He yelled at her.
âOH! Iâm close! Iâm cracking your wall down!â Vanny teased excitedly.
Then, Vanny moved one hand up to the rabbit ears. âI wonderâŚâ She started tickling the inner ear just as a small test. The moment William moved his rabbit ear away and wheezed, Vanny IMMEDIATELY covered his ears with tickles! It was so hard to resist not going for it, when the perfect opportunity had come up!
Now Vanny was tickling his ears menacingly and listening to every laugh, squeak, titter and giggle that left his mouth. It had actually surprised William just how well the programming managed to replicate his laughter as well! Things have REALLY changed since he was younger.
âVAHAHANNYHYHY! THAHAHATâS EHEHENOHOHOUGH!â William tried to tell her.
âHell no itâs not! We have tons of time! I still have a response to wait for from the Fazbear company that YOU used to work for. So now Iâm just quickly waiting! And while I waitâŚâ Vanny started tickling the base of Williamâs bunny ears. â-I can see just how ticklish you really are!â Vanny declared.
âNOHOHOHO! UHUHUN- AAHAHAHA-! UHUHUNFAHAHAIR!â William yelled at her.
âOh I KNOW itâs unfair. But wanna know something else thatâs unfair?â Vanny asked rhetorically. âRefusing to tell me a secret of yours after you found out about mine!â Vanny replied to her own question. âNow THATâS unfair! And just downright rude!â Vanny added.
William shook his head, flapping his ears around as she attacked the vulnerable base of his ears. âNAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHE! COHOME OHOHOHON VAHAHAHAHANNY!â
Vanny smirked. âWhaddaya mean âcome onâ? Are you challenging me?â Vanny asked.
William shrieked and turned himself around to get away. Sadly, this just didnât work. Vanny quickly wrapped her sneaky arm around Williamâs back and waist, and used her arm to dip him backwards like they had just flashbacked to the 20âs.
William yelped and giggled quite bashfully at this sudden turn of events, but was immediately thrown back into his frustrated frenzy the moment Vanny tickled all over his belly. âNoHO! VANNY! IHIHIHIâLL KIHIHILL YOHOHOHOU!â William threatened as he fell into another hysterical laughing fit.
âOoooooh! I seeâŚâ Vanny said to herself while she poked and prodded at the green circle that highlighted the bunnyâs belly button. âYou donât really have a belly button! Just a little green circle that sticks it out from your tummy.â Vanny explained to herself.
âYEHEHES! YOHOHOU HAHAVE YOHOHOUR AHANSWEHER! NOHOW LEHEHET MEHE GOHOHOHO!â William ordered.
Vanny rolled her eyes with a smile and continued to tickle his belly. âEver heard of manners? Even dogs develop better manners than you!â Vanny teased.
William growled through his laughter and started to push her away. Vanny sighed and stopped tickling his belly. William went limp in her arms as bits of sweat started to fall down the bunnyâs face. Was...was that just an overexaggerated emotion?! Or was William actually able to âsweatâ? âOhokahay. Can...can you put me down?...pleeeease?â William asked. His attempts to be polite sounded very childish. But, it somewhat worked.
Vanny smiled and laid William back down. âI-Thank you. Though, you didnât need to lay me- HAHAHA! HEHEHEHEY- YOUSONOFA- EEEEEHEHEHEHEK!â William accidentally interrupted himself. It turns out that Vanny couldnât resist sneaking a tickle or two onto his ears again.
âNo more statements, Giggly Willy. Just a thank you will work well.â Vanny told him as she stopped fully this time.
William grabbed onto his ears and curled up into a little ball on the floor of Vannyâs mind. It was...Quite hilarious to see a tough, put together man doing such a childish move.
âI...Am content with wo-working with you, butâŚ*huff*...C-Could we keep the tickle attacks to a minimum?â William asked.
Vanny hummed as she thought. She finally sighed. âFine. Once a month.â she told him. âIâll tickle you once a month.â
William looked up at her and uncurled himself. âWanna move that to twice a month?â William asked.
Vanny blinked in surprise. âBi-weekly?! I thought you wanted to keep the tickling to a minimum.â Vanny reacted.
âFor-forget that. I donât mind them.â William admitted casually.
Vanny did everything in her power to not throw her hands in the air and shower him with tickles. But she knew one thing for sure:
Vanny is never letting William live this down!
#vanny is the reluctant follower#william afton is a jerk#vanny is sassy#light angst#mind manipulation#tell me your secrets#ticklefic#ler!vanny#lee!william#william afton is advanced programming now#bickering#pre-fnaf security breach
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Ruin Teresa Agnes career. Aka: the Teresa analysis. Take all the time you need >:3
Okay Iâm saying this right off the bat in case someone who stans this character misses the point above, but well I hate Teresa Agnesâ character in the maze series, both movie and book. However, in my analysis I will try to explain why her character misses the mark both as a villain and as a sympathetic character. So, to analyze her in depth, Iâm putting this into parts under the read below. HEADS UP! As of now this analysis will exclude Death Cure Novel review as I have not finished that one, though it will mention one major spoiler I have been informed of from that book that I need to add for the sake of her character; other than that I will be discussing the other three novels before it (yes that is including the prequel Fever code) and the three movies from the series in broad ideas as I am not about to scavenge for quotes like I did in my last long post⌠well at least not as many.
Part 1: Teresa the master manipulator
No matter which way you look at it, Teresa has a way to bend others to her will, whether we blame WCKD for teaching her so well; or she used it as a means of survival, the idea still stands. Though she is extremely skilled in combat, especially at using spears and knives, Teresaâs biggest skill is her silver tongue, she can lie her way out of anything. Most evident is her betrayal in Scorch when she has such a good poker face that she not only convinces group B that Thomas is the problem they have to eradicate to get WCKDâs good side, but she also doesnât hesitate to maim Thomas to the point of threatening to kill him: âGet in the room or Iâll hit you again. I swear Iâll keep doing it till you pass out or bleed to deathâ (Ch. 51). /sarcasm/ Charming ainât she? /end of sarcasm/ The thing about lying though is that sometimes it backfires, for instance in the case of Group B, Harriet and Sonya hear Thomas out on why they shouldnât kill him like Teresa asked, and when they listen and observe him they realize that Teresa is the worst and side with him; which in turn makes Teresa have to take drastic measures which involve getting Thomas alone with her to finish her duties to WCKD. Anyways, she even goes as far as to cement her betrayal by kissing Aris and crushing Thomasâ feelings by saying they were never a thing; she does this mind you without so much as breaking this character she builds up even though later she tries to say she still cares for Thomas. She is so convincing that Thomas has stated that: âThomas had never heard such arrogance from her. She was either a really good actress or had started going crazy. Gained a split personality or twoâ (Ch. 45, Scorch). So yes, Teresa is too good at lying to the point I can say she can align as a Pathological Liar because sheâs deceptive, goal-oriented in order to get HER way meaning she will not tolerate anyone interfering with her methods, she disregards the feelings of everyone around her, and she is constantly tweaking her excuses to adjust to the situations at hand. She is so good at lying she oozes self confidence when elaborating her defense by staring directly at the person she is talking to, unblinking, and will lash out in defense if someone calls her out on any inconsistencies.Â
Mind you this isnât the first instance we get at how well she turns the story to her favor. In Fever Code, she is the one to help put the Gladers in the maze and erase Thomasâ memories, which transfers in Maze Runner with how she openly gaslights everyone by pretending she doesnât remember much about WCKDâs doings even though her memories are the only ones implied to be in tact based on that email she wrote in Fever Code: âIâve just said my goodbye to Thomas, and heâs now in the Glade, safe and sound. Tomorrow, it will be my turn. Dr. Paige has asked me to send a final note to everyone, sharing my thoughts. Iâm more than happy to do so. I feel good about the plan to leave my and Arisâs memories intact. You need someone in each group with whom you can communicate and plan during the phases of the Trialsâ(FC epilogue) and also based on this specific tid bit in Maze Runner where she slips she knows more than she lets on: âThough I guess a Griever canât squeeze through this window, so Iâll be happy, right?â The mention of Grievers surprised him -- he didnât remember talking about them to her yet. âTeresa are you sure youâve forgotten everything?â(Ch.37, pg.246). Griever knowledge in general for Teresa in Maze seems to be code talk for âI am here to cause trouble, I kept my memories'' because during the sequence with the fiasco with the invasion of the species in Group Aâs field, Teresa casually wakes up after the eventâs commotion subsides earning Newtâs suspicion that maybe the map fire was not done on accident. Anyways, in keeping things down low and having an advantage in memory recollection, she ensures Thomas and co. donât recall events correctly unless it's vital to her mission. And yes, Teresa will use violence and anger if necessary; she is perfectly fine with murder...âSo weâre just going to kill them all? [...] Theyâll die anyway [...] No, Tom, Itâs be tough now or everyone dies laterâ(Ch. 47, Fever Code). Or even this small aside on her stance on death overall: âThis is kind of fun,â Teresa whispered to Thomas. âWalking along with my new friend.â He looked at her in bemused disbelief. âReally? You drop that bombshell about kids dying and now you act like itâs no big deal? Youâre so weird.â He tried to make a joke out of it to hide just how horrified heâs been by her second questionâ (Ch. 9, pg. 55, FC). And she has killed, mind you, yes they were cranks, but they are still humanly conscious. Thomas in comparison shows pity about the fact that they were still human, Teresa didnât bat an eye. And now, you might say âHey Popuri, you know, sheâs just willing to kill if it means saving everyone else right?â to which I go, sure sheâs stated that if it means saving the rest it doesnât matter if thousands or so die. However, she is also clear that she only cares about Thomasâ survival in specific, no one else; which immediately gets falsified by her âlieâ in Scorch, thus she will kill anyone if need be no matter how close they are. What Iâm saying is that not even Teresa has a clear path in why she manipulates everyone when she can so easily be convinced to make elaborate murder scenarios at the snap of WCKDâs fingers. She claims it's to save her âcrushâ but will not hesitate to shed his blood and drag him across the desert.Â
She claims it's to help WCKD, that WCKD is good, but she has bore witness time and time again that the facility makes countless errors and knows there's no REAL cure available ⌠and Teresa is a smart kid, so why continue believing a hopeless façade? Because she's desperate to cling to some hope? No. Teresa doesnât do the whole hope thing, she's convinced WCKD is good period, there's nothing else. So, even if there is no evidence anymore she will fight tooth and nail for something she herself is trapped in because no one will want to be there for the girl who treated her only connections as poorly as WCKD treated her. Therefore, is it because she canât help it then? I can only imagine that's the case. Sheâs willingly this puppet for WCKD, she couldâve escaped them any time she liked like Thomas and co. did, but she prefers to stay on the burning train even if it means her own demise because she refuses to admit any of her actions were wrong, the truth will NOT set her free because she cannot confront it.Â
Moving forward, I wanna delve more into the whole telepathy dealio she specifically shares with Thomas and we actually never really learn if she can talk to others as she evades the question when it does arrive in book. The only certain thing is that if you have a chip, you can talk using your mind. Now this would be a fine plot device, but in the hands of someone who wants to control your every move and thought, well....âThomas, this is Teresa. He was going crazy. He was actually going crazy. It was the oldest and most common symptom -- hearing voices in your head. âUh...â, he said aloud. Is this working? Is this working? The last words landed between his eyes like a thunderbolt. The pain knocked his legs out from under him and he collapsed onto the floor. Never had the world felt so fluid beneath him, as if nothing solid existed, no form, no substanceâ (Ch.20 , pg. 112, FC). So first things first, Thomas hates it when he gets a mind message, he feels extreme pain when someone tries it, this is recurrent throughout the series. He has told her a few times not to contact him through that method, but it's their little secret and besides, if he told anyone who would believe him? âTeresa shrugged. âYou didnât tell anyone, did you? Theyâd think weâre crazyâ(Ch.36, Maze Runner). So we have a situation where Teresa has a huge way of overpowering Thomas, she can send images to his head without his consent and yell into his mind even if it means it hurts him. And the kicker? She doesnât teach him how to use it on purpose. And when he tries to contact her? Well depending on her mood she can either be flirty or... well this: âTeresa? A pause. Teresa? A longer pause. Teresa! He shouted it mentally, his whole body tensing with effort. Teresa! Where are you? Please answer me! Why arenât you trying to contact me? Ter- /GET OUT OF MY HEAD!/ The words exploded inside his mind, so vivid and so strangely audible within his skull that he felt lances of pain behind his eyes and in his ears. He sat up in bed, then stood. It was her. It was definitely her. Teresa? He pressed the first two fingers of both hands against his temples. Teresa? /WHOEVER YOU ARE , GET OUT OF MY SHUCK HEAD!/ Thomas stumbled backward until he sat down once again on the bed. His eyes were closed as he concentrated. Teresa, what are you talking about? Itâs me. Thomas. Where are you? /SHUT UP!/ It was her, he had no doubt, but her mental voice was full of fear and anger /JUST SHUT UP! I DONâT KNOW WHO YOU ARE! LEAVE ME ALONE!/ But, Thomas began completely at a loss [...] /LEAVE ME ALONE, OR IâLL HUNT YOU DOWN AND CUT YOUR THROAT. I SWEAR IT. â (Ch.8, FC). *sarcasm* ah yes, nothing says true love like a death threat that actually comes to near fruition later in that same book and pretending to not know that person only to later, upon meeting Thomas acting like a sobbing mess, kiss him and disappear...she sure knew him then huh? *end of sarcasm* Having a power imbalance in a relationship is, you know, not good, especially when youâre making it so you gaslight the person anytime they know something you donât want them to or to have control over the situation. Teresa does this OFTEN. To the point that it makes Thomas so emotionally attached to her he finds it hard to admit he doesnât need her, even when heâs been badly hurt.Â
 Part 2: Your past does not excuse your bad actions in the present. Period.
Now let me clear something up, PAST ABUSE does not CONDONE you to HURT OTHERS in turn, let alone allows you to use it as an excuse to justify wrong actions. I am aware Teresa, aka Deedee, was abandoned due to an outbreak of the flare at an early age; had her name changed, was confined to a room with Thomas as her only friend who was the same age as her, and openly manipulated by adults to believe WCKD is good. But you know who else goes through the same treatment? LITERALLY EVERY KID EXPOSED TO THIS EXPERIMENT! AND THEY DONâT THREATEN EACH OTHER IF THEY DONâT GET THEIR WAY OR KILL EACH OTHER. And this is not said in order to justify that everyone with the same experiences will have the same reactions, I understand stressors and trauma affect everyone differently and acknowledge everyone needs a different support system. But like, for peeps sake, Thomas who is Teresaâs exact foil as a narrative play to show that they are more alike than they realize which is the flimsiest proof to grab at as to why they need each other to an extent; literally has the exact same story cut and paste from her and he has more empathy and compassion to those around him, than Teresa ever shows. WHY? If the idea is to show Teresa has hardened from her own experiences, she should in theory act more like Brenda, a renegade civilian that isnât soft for anyone except the boy who will save her. I know in my explanation I compare Thomas and Teresa a lot, but it's hard not to when Teresa, though having Aris as another buddy who is also in on the whole WCKD scheme, still decides to CLING to Thomas to be her saving grace. And the thing is, even if she only ever trusted Thomas in this whole experiment, then why not confide in him or tell him what is happening? She doesnât LISTEN to anything he says to her in turn. YES, Teresa knows more about the situation as a whole, YES she is capable of doing things by herself, but she never trusts anyone. Youâd think she would be more open to talking to the kids her age or be the quiet type because she knows what will happen to them all if they donât comply; but no, I canât even describe her personality other than stoic one moment and complete chaos in the next, and she does that switch VERY often. But sure, she prefers to skew half truths and put everyone in danger because âŚ.WCKD? Sheâs supposed to be the intellectual one and she doesnât know how to spread her capabilities, no wonder Brenda is introduced in the second book.
It's also incomprehensible to me why she feels it necessary to follow WCKD in general when she was the first to know of all their evil doings? âThey were at the door when Teresa stopped and asked Dr. Leavitt a question. Two, actually. And it was enough to change the manâs demeanor completely. âWhatâs a swipe trigger? And is it true that seven kids died during the implant surgeries?â The questions stunned Thomas. He turned to look at Teresa as the doctor fumbled for an answer. âHow...â the man began, then stopped, realizing at the same moment what Thomas did: Teresa had stumbled on something major. Something trueâ(Ch. 9, pg.54, FC). Youâd think she would have the maturity to one up WCKD and knock them from the inside out to save the one she âloves'' but she doesnât, instead she abides by the facility...even when knowing they are the ones who made the Flare in the first place. Call me naĂŻve, but wouldnât it make sense that if she wants to help stop the Flare than it would be in her best interest to hold Ava at an inch of her life (and Ratman) until she fesses up how to reverse the Flare, only to then realize oops there never was a possibility for a cure ~, but in knowing this finally be rid of the one thing holding her back? Again, someone can argue that hey, she thinks the people who made it HAVE to eventually find the termination and either way what possible choice does she have when her own manipulators control her? But remember, in the end it's always been a huge experiment to eliminate the human populace, and that's motive enough to rebel and/or snap at the hand that feeds when it's gone too far. EVERYONE has a breaking point mentally and physically, THOMAS BREAKS DOWN SEVERAL TIMES IN THE SPAN OF THE SERIES BECAUSE HE CANâT MAKE SENSE OF THE EXPERIMENTS AND THE REASON TO CONTINUE SURVIVING ONLY ON WCKDS TERMS. And it drives me insane that Teresa would openly keep the Gladers from knowing about their procedures when she has known the longest from everyone else! Oh? You want evidence that Teresa keeps her memories intact and lies about ever losing them, sure! Here, have a morsel: âTeresa..., he started to say, but then stumbled a void. He had no idea how to respond. Did you....did you already know this stuff? /Iâve heard rumors./ And you never told me? He was stunned. How could she have known this and never said anything? She was his best friend. The first person he went to with everything. /I just donât see the point. Yes, we have reason to hate these people. But how is dwelling on the past going to help anybody? The solution is what matters./ Thomas had never been so blindsided in his life.../Iâm really tired, Tom. Can we talk about it tomorrow?/ She was gone from his mind before he could respond [...] The next day Teresa refused to talk about it, emphasizing that sheâd rather focus on the future than the past Dr. Paige also blew it off, saying that those decisions had been made well before her time. it was almost like they were both determined to forgetâ (Ch. 43, pg. 239, FC). TALK ABOUT BECOMING THE ONE THING THAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO OVERCOME. Like goodness sake, Teresa was part of the prep and launch of putting each Glader into the Maze and she never doubted it, never fussed over how this was bad. The excuse of âthis is for their own good, my own good, and the worldâsâ can only go so far when you are in an environment that is full of violence and trauma, you expect me to not believe Teresa just never broke down and truly analyzed how she can use her lies to one up her own abusers? Sheâs supposed to be this âempoweringâ female character and she canât even get THAT right.Â
Part 3: How come the films did it better?
The film actually humanizes her a lot more and makes her motives at least justifiable in a fit of protecting the one you love. I know a lot of people dislike her character in the movies because it's more frail and sympathetic, but it was a very good way to justify her motives and plan out her actions from point A to point B. What do I mean by that? Let's take a look. Film Teresa enters the Maze without the ability to communicate to Thomas through telepathy, she still has her memories and she is still in close contact with WCKD, that much is still the same. Her motive though is to get everyone out of the maze and into stage 2 where the facility can round up the ones who have been viewed to be immune through the Maze Trials. So far so good, but pretty on par with the book right? Well, here is where it differs for the best. On the last act of Scorch, Teresa tells Thomas WITH SENTIMENT, no more lies and no more hiding that she contacted WCKD because it was needed to keep Thomas alive and well. WOW, notice how she doesnât emotionally manipulate him and her innocent nature of trusting the scientists of her world to cure everyone actually leads her to be more sympathetic and relatable to the audience? In Death Cure, she doesnât expect Thomas or ANYONE to forgive her for her actions and in fact takes her actions at face value. This Teresa is more understanding of the phrase âYou can change, but those youâve wronged have no obligation to forgive youâ than book Teresa ever will. To the point that when she finds Thomas in the city and has bore witness to the startling realization that there indeed could be no cure cause her patient flares back up; of which is intentionally a little girl to reflect without showing that she can relate to the Flare stripping away her childhood, she then betrays WCKD by allowing the Gladers to infiltrate the facility, thus redeeming her when she dies in the explosion. Thus, making her in the film's eyes an anti-hero. As Skquill once told me, âFilm teresa really did want to create a better future, and wanted to help people and that's what I like about film teresa. It didn't work. It literally blew up in her face. But, she tried, and she saved Thomas in the end.â
The only reason I donât like Teresa even in the film is because she is kind of a wet blanket there, barely expresses any emotion beyond stoic token girl that cries sometimes, and she couldâve saved herself the whole betrayal arc if she just learned to better communicate her intentions instead of sobbing pathetically every time no one wants anything to do with her for her ill doings.Not to mention she still maintains her personality to a degree from the book (just call her diet Teresa really) because once both enter the sequence in Scorch where they ran out of pawns to move around they claim that they did what they had to do and they wouldnât change a thing, theyâd do it again if they could. It is only when both are at deathâs door with no other choice that they give in some noble sacrifice at a chance for redemption, which is well too little too late. And in the opposing corner of knowing some people blame Thomas for not just allowing himself to be experimented on since the beginning, my rebuttal to be fair is that Teresa just again, sucked at explaining herself and the intentions of WCKD until it was deserving of a literal showdown bloodbath that evidently Tommy boy had to take defense to and threaten his life if anyone else died due to miscommunications. ALSO, IT'S HIS OWN BODY, HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS WITH IT INSTEAD OF HAVING OTHERS DICTATE WHAT HE NEEDS TO DO.
BUT ANYWAYS, book Teresa in comparison has even less characterization, I am sorry to say. SHE'S BARELY IN SCORCH AS IS, only coming out toward the climax because before that she is crying and kissing Thomas before going MIA for 45 chapters. Ouch. And when she does appear? She purposefully causes trouble that leads to essentially no where, we couldâve gotten to the safe haven way sooner without her interference.
Part 4: Is Book Teresa a good female character?
 The simple answer? No.
The slightly longer answer? Even if I were to place her as the villain of the story sheâs...not that good? Mostly because again, she acts as a puppet for a rich, governmental organization that basically implants how she should think and act. YET, somehow she is still smart, brave, lethal, and *ahem* UNBELIEVABLY BEAUTIFUL WITH HER LONG HAIR THAT IS BASICALLY DESCRIBED THE EXACT SAME WAY AS BRENDAâS, WHO FYI IS THE SLIGHTLY BETTER FEMALE LEAD THAT STILL CANâT HOLD A COIN TO SONYA OR HARRIET (the background characters) THOUGH. I also need to say plainly, she has no gradual growth, she remains by her ideals and thinks she's right constantly in all but one book...which is one book too late and thus made meaningless. By no means is Teresa a mary sue, yet she still manages to be a stereotype in Maze Runner: âIf youâre going to decipher a hidden code from a complex set of different mazes, Iâm pretty sure youâll need a girlâs brain running the showâ(ch.43); then again going most of the book in Scorch missing, and then unceremoniously gets crushed by a boulder in Death Cure as her final hurrah for all the bs she caused isnât really a means to become a memorable character. This is the female supportive character Iâm supposed to relate to and or praise for her dastardly, cunning intellect? If I were looking for a strong female with various flaws and a tragic end I would saunter over to Hunger Gamesâ Katniss instead. Teresa fails as a character the moment that her sole purpose is to be so emotionally/physically attached to Thomas that her whole character gets washed down the gutter so badly that Kill Order had to be made to justify her actions through a tragic backstory. In no way or form was I able to entertain this character as a favorite because she is everything I donât want to be or befriend, and even as again, a âvillainâ she doesnât exactly do much as the real masterminds are Ava and her cronies who MADE the disease and the trials. Even going as far as calling her an anti-hero feels off because none of her actions deliberately affect the plot or progress of our main characterâs story. But that's kind of the thing with D*shnerâs characterization of females overall? Theyâre either brutish or simply there. I donât think any of them even pass the Bechdel Test.Â
Final thoughts:
I donât like Teresa, I would personally fight her in a Dennyâs parking lot at 3am if I could. I recall saying multiple times how she should just âshut upâ as I read Maze and Scorch because most of her quotes are not memorable nor important. But in no way do I blame the character for the angst and tragedy of the novels overall. D*shner just...doesnât seem to know how to make honest character growth and a decent plot, thus, in turn the story and its leads suffer tremendously as the narrative gets stretched out. (me yelling in the distance about how Crank Palace was made for clout). HOWEVER, In no way should my analysis stop people from finding Teresa as interesting or âcoolâ, I actually ENCOURAGE anyone that stans her to explain why to me because I personally donât understand why beyond thinking âI just think she's chaotically evil and her treachery is fun to witnessâ. COOL IF THAT'S THE REASON OR EVEN IF YOU RE-WROTE HER TO BE BETTER! I just personally don't find her presence necessary for plot progression or as a love interest in general. It in fact sucks that she gets essentially replaced by Brenda almost as soon as the opportunity arises. In turn though, for others who donât like her either as much as me, feel free to add onto this post any other âTeresa sucks and here's whyâ moments as I know there's a lot of moments out there to quote or paraphrase. Thanks for reading~
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Howl - Ch 2
Chapter: 2/10
Add'l Notes: As usual, fic is like 6 chapters ahead on my AO3, WizardGlick
Chapter Content Warnings: N/A, ask to tag
Trying a new thing where I force you to read the first paragraph by not including it under the cut ����
--
Virgil slept soundly and woke up unharmed in his bed. The relative cold of the morning air bit into his face, the only part of him that wasn't buried under his duvet. Still laying down, he wriggled into his hoodie and got up to make coffee. He mentally checked himself over while he waited for it to brew, staring blankly at the French press with stinging eyes. Damn, he must not have gotten all his vampire makeup off. Ah, well. His own absentmindedness was not a curse. Maybe he had escaped unscathed. Nothing hurt, save a normal soreness in his legs from standing around watching the Halloween parade, and a quick look in one of the many ornate mirrors decorating his walls revealed nothing abnormal with his face (well, except for the smudgy remnants of last night's eyeliner).
Despite this reassuring examination, he still spent the morning jumping at shadows. He rode his moped extra slowly and took time adjusting the straps of his helmet to make sure it fit perfectly. He examined the hanging sign ("Mystick Earth: ephemera for all ages") outside his workplace to make sure it wouldn't fall and kill him. He even took high steps on his way to the register to make sure he wouldn't trip over anything unseen.
But nothing bad happened.
In fact, nothing much happened at all until just past noon, when the brass bells on the door jangled and Logan stepped in, wafting the smell of warm bread and something sweet in with him.
Virgil didn't even realize he was smiling until his cheeks began to ache. "Hi," he said.
"Hello, Virgil." Logan wasn't looking at him; he was focusing on the paper bag hooked around one wrist and the drink carrier balanced in his other arm. "Forgive me for not asking first, but I wanted to surprise you."
"Here, you can set that on the counter." Virgil already knew what Logan had brought: banh mi, pho, and bubble tea from Sunrise, Virgil's favorite cafĂŠ.
Before he could talk himself out of it, Virgil pressed his hands on the counter and levered himself up to give Logan a kiss. He had always known that Logan was courteous and sweet under that somewhat stiff exterior; this wasn't even the first time he had done something kind for Virgil out of nowhere. But Virgil never could get used to being doted on. "Thank you, Logan."
Logan dropped his gaze, one hand coming up to fidget with his tie. "You're quite welcome."
The bells chimed again. Virgil looked up and caught sight of Roman, who had frozen in place. Catching Virgil's gaze, he straightened as though offended. "Well," he said, "I just came by to make sure Count Virgila survived the night, but it looks as though Casanova here beat me to the punch."
Logan turned. "Roman. I hope you've already eaten, because I only brought enough food for two people."
"I can take a hint," Roman said. Virgil raised his eyebrows at him expectantly, but Roman only raised his own eyebrows back, strode over to the counter, and stole a sip of Virgil's milk tea.
"I thought you said you could take a hint," Virgil said.
"I can," Roman said, "but I'm choosing not to."
Logan sighed through his nose and passed Virgil his sandwich. "I see no need to insist upon politeness if Roman is not going to return the favor."
Roman bumped Logan with his hip. "Really, I just came by to make sure Virgil's okay "
The bells jangled. Virgil looked up again, half-surprised and half-annoyed to see Janus, clad in the extravagant tailcoat he had to wear for work, pretending rather transparently to examine the display of tarot card-themed posters by the door. "Hi, Janus," he said, making no effort to hide his annoyance. Maybe this was the curse, to never get any alone time with Logan.
"Let me guess," said Roman, "you're here to check on Virgil."
"Of course not," Janus said, now pawing through the discount t-shirt display. Ugh, Virgil had just finished re-folding those. "Virgil's a big boy; he knows how to handle himself."
"Oh, yeah?" Virgil raised an eyebrow. "For all the money in the register, tell me what you came to buy and what you plan to use it for."
For the brief moment that Janus hesitated, Virgil allowed himself to hope that he had gotten one over on Janus. In all their years of friendship, he had admitted to being wrong exactly once. Virgil kept the date saved in his phone calendar and made sure to send Janus a card on the anniversary. But a moment's hesitation was all the satisfaction he got this time; Janus faced him properly, adjusted his tie, and said, "I don't know. I'm looking for a gift for Remus."
"Nice save," Virgil said. "We'll see about that."
"Oh, I don't know why you bother trying to hide it." Roman beckoned Janus over to the counter. "Look with your own eyes: he's fine."
"I combined like five different rituals last night," Virgil said. "And I'm doing another one once I get off work." He had already paid for the bottle and the string, knowing he had a hand trowel somewhere in the depths of his spider-infested shed.
Roman quick-drew his phone from his pocket and had himself posed for a selfie with Virgil almost before Virgil could process what was happening. "Smile," he said. "Patton made me promise I'd send him a picture."
Virgil flashed a peace sign. It was better to just go with it. Despite his bravado, Roman got his feelings hurt easily, and it was never fun to try to bounce back from that. "Are we done now?"
"Pardon us for caring about you," Roman said, sticking his nose into the air. It was such a Remus thing to do that Virgil nearly laughed, but he managed to hold himself together.
"Yeah, yeah, my friends love and cherish me, blah, blah, blah."
"Also," Roman read from his phone, "Patton says to tell Janus to come over soon so they can make cutting boards together."
"He was serious about that?" Janus looked helplessly at Virgil. Ah, yes, Patton had made the invitation last night and Janus, leaning back on social niceties, had agreed. "I thought he was just being nice."
"Nope." Virgil leaned forward across the counter and grinned. "Not only is Patton gonna make you make yourself a cutting board, you're going to enjoy it."
"We'll see about that," Janus said. He shook up his sleeve so he could glance at his watch. "Well, I should get back to Bienvenue. Those suits won't sell themselves."
He turned on his heel and made for the door so quickly that Virgil knew he was forgetting something. Ding. "Wait, but weren't you going to buy something for Remus?" he called.
"Sorry," said Janus, one hand already on the door. "Can't hear you, bye." And he was gone.
Roman bounced on his toes. "Alright, alright, I'll leave you two to it, too."
"Thank you kindly," Virgil said, metering the sardonic bite in his tone so that Roman wouldn't get offended.
Roman tipped an imaginary hat first to Virgil, then to Logan, and sauntered out.
"Finally," Virgil sighed. He looked up to find Logan staring at him with evident concern. "What?"
"Are you alright?" Logan asked. "I know you take this kind of thing seriously and I would hate for you to feel like I'm not supporting you just because I don't share your belief."
Virgil couldn't help but smile as an unfamiliar feeling spread from his stomach to his chest. Ah, the warm fuzzies. He couldn't even be mad about the damage to his dark and brooding image. "I'm okay, Lo. I did my stuff."
Logan smiled back: a small, shy thing. "I'm glad."
They were quiet for a moment. Virgil took small bites of his banh mi, careful to keep one eye on the door. It had been an unusually slow day, especially given that it was the day after Halloween. The denizens of Vaillant were superstitious enough that Virgil was rarely idle behind the counter of Mystick Earth. A few groups of people paused by the door, some even going so far as to peer in through the glass storefront windows, but no one came in. Virgil relaxed a little. "How's work? Catch anyone embezzling?"
"Not yet," Logan said, pushing his sleeves further up his elbows. Virgil tried not to stare at the few additional centimeters of skin this action exposed. What was he, a repressed Victorian? "I did notice a discrepancy in the amount we spent on office supplies, but it was only because someone had miswritten a 'seven' as a 'two.'"
"No office drama?" Virgil ribbed him. "Nobody stealing pens or making out in supply closets?"
"Unfortunately, we are a building of professionals." Logan paused, straightened his tie. "The light above my cubicle went out and I had to put in an email to maintenance to get it fixed."
"Man, I could never work in an office," Virgil said.
"Did anything interesting happen to you this morning?"
"Eh, I had someone looking to curse an ex, and I had to explain why that's not acceptable. I won't bore you with the details." Virgil took another bite of his sandwich and bounced the toe of his shoe against the floor. Was he doing this right? It had been so long since his last real relationship, and everyone knew what a disaster that had been. He liked Logan, liked being with Logan, but⌠Well, maybe he was freaking out over nothing. He just had to remember how to do it right, and then everything would be okay.
"Ordinarily, I would challenge the notion that you could ever bore me," Logan said, "but I do have to leave soon."
"Finish your pho," Virgil said, smiling. "I can tell you later."
They finished eating and Virgil again leaned up to give Logan a kiss, balancing his weight on his hands. His heart wasn't in it, his brain a few seconds ahead. Should he come over the counter and walk Logan to the door? What should he say? âI love youâ? Should he grab Logan's ass?
"Did you hear me?" Logan asked.
Virgil feet hit the floor, the impact driving tingles up to his knees. "Huh?"
"Just saying goodbye," Logan said.
"See you soon?"
"Let's make plans."
Logan left. Virgil stared at the door for a while, happiness ebbing away into loneliness and doubt. A small, childish part of him wanted to insist that Logan stay. Forget work. They could go to the movies and get ice cream, have a proper date. And Virgil would find some way to communicate just how much he appreciated Logan.
--
Virgil: Thanks for lunch, Lo
Logan: You're welcome
Logan: <3
Virgil hadn't gathered up the guts to respond to Logan's text message yet. It was really pathetic, how a single emoticon heart had him blushing and panicking like a teenager.
He swung one leg over his moped, but kept his weight mostly on the ground. Hating the way his heart pounded, he pulled out his phone.
Logan: <3
Virgil: <3
Before he could freak himself out any further, Virgil got on his moped properly and nearly peeled out of his parking spot. He rode home in silence, shivering a little in the wind chill and dodging potholes.
The sinking sun lit up the thunderheads on the horizon until the whole sky on Virgil's left was blue-gray and luminescent. He stared, admiring the bald cypress and tupelo trees silhouetted against the dying light, until the road turned and faced him toward the darkness. By the time he got home, it was full dark. He parked his moped in the carport and settled in for a lonely evening of curse-breaking.
Virgil wasn't usually lonely. As an introvert with several boisterous extroverts in his friend circle, he usually jumped at the chance for some alone time. But suddenly Logan's absence felt like loss in a way it never had before, and Virgil longed to have him near. Even if he just sat quietly and watched while Virgil put his own spin on constructing a witch bottle.
He went to bed early that night, earlier than usual, unable to stand the emptiness of his old house. Even the creaks and groans, even the ambient sounds of outside, even the ticking of his mantle clock, seemed to fade away into intolerable lonely silence. So Virgil crawled into bed before midnight, clutching his hoodie to his chest.
He didn't sleep well.
Strange visions haunted his dreams, almost primal in their intensity. He was rage, he was fear, he was power. He knew the earth beneath his feet, knew the deep, rich smells of the forest. He knew the moon above. It was bright but waning, pale silver struggling through the clouds that smelled of rain. So unlike Virgil, whose strength was eternal and agonizing and all. He howled.
He woke up all at once, all his senses alight. Even without opening his eyes, it was obvious: He was outside. Not only that, he was naked in the dirt.
He opened his eyes and rolled over, sitting up slowly to examine himself. Clammy soil clung to his exposed skin. He brushed it off with a shaking hand. His nails were stained with it too, all muddy and broken. And he was sore, almost as bad as the time he'd try to go jogging with Logan.
Virgil let the panic wash over him and pulled his legs in close to his chest, wrapped his arms around them. Wrong, wrong, wrong, he had nothing, knew nothing and he was all alone in the woods.
He crested the worst of the attack and clenched his trembling hands into fists, resentful of the adrenaline still ruling him. At least he seemed unharmed; his skin was free of bruises and scratches. He was just dirty. He raised a shaking hand to his left ear, feeling along the back of it for any strange marks. Finding nothing, he checked his right ear. The skin seemed wholly undisturbed, but he would see about that later. Right now, he had more pressing things to worry about than potential alien abduction. For one, there was the matter of his clothes⌠He got to his feet, covering his groin with his hands despite the solitude. All that surrounded him were the early-morning birdsong and the rustle of the wind in the leaves.
Spinning in a circle, Virgil found a place where branches had been broken and the underbrush had been thoroughly trampled by something much, much bigger than he. With no other leads, he steeled himself and followed the trail. It was difficult going. He had to keep his head down to make sure he didnât step on anything sharp, and his heartbeat remained sharp and painful and panicked, beating out what-ifs beneath his skin. What if he couldnât find his way home? What if he got arrested for public nudity? What if he tripped and broke his leg and got stranded? What if something attacked him?
The morning breeze picked up and made him shiver, drawing him out of his panicked thoughts. He just needed to keep walking. He might not even have been that far from home. He lived on the edge of the woods, so it made sense that he was within walking distance of home, right? Well, maybe not, but the belief was all he had. So he believed that he was close to home, believed that he would be fine, and continued to tread the path of destruction through the woods.
He was closer than heâd thought. Soon, the sound of tires over asphalt reached his ears and he picked up the pace. Crossing the road was a nerve-wracking endeavor, not least because the speed limit was 55 mph. He hadnât seen any of his clothes on the trek. What would people say if they caught him darting naked across the road like some kind of feral mountain man? Traffic was sparse, it was true, but with Virgilâs luck, a pickup full of country boys would plow into him and leave him in the ditch. What a pleasant thought for a Friday morning. Pushing his fear aside, Virgil sprinted across the road as fast as his abused feet and sore muscles would let him. The trail of trampled bushes and broken branches led directly to his house, as he had feared it might, and the destruction didnât stop there. His front door was open, bugs buzzing around the light over his kitchen sink. Several of his end tables had been knocked over and various trinkets from his many floating shelves littered the floor. His ceramic incense holder lay in pieces by the magazine rack filled with his collection of old tabloids-- the tabloids were okay, thank goodness.
âHello?â Virgil called. No one answered, and the house was silent. He crept into the bedroom. Ah, there were his clothes. The t-shirt he slept in had split at the seams and his boxers hadnât fared much better. At least his hoodie was okay. He pulled it on and slipped into a new pair of boxers, exhaustion finally catching up with him. He needed to deal with this, like, really needed to deal with this, but his bedâŚ
He face-planted into it, not even bothering to straighten out or pull his legs onto the mattress. Sleep now, unpack terrifying potential supernatural encounter later.
#the formatting on this seems off but i can't figure out why-- let me know if you figure it out#sanders sides#analogical#virgil sanders#logan sanders#spicywrites#spicywrites howl
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rank every year of the 2010s from best to worst i want some pochapal lore
[warning for discussion of my fucked up mental health and my myriad traumas. weâre really opening the pandoraâs box here gang]
ok time for me to overshare on the internet again! super long post because i canât shut up and you asked for it. anyway, by objective ranking:Â
#1: 2012 - halcyon era, my personal peak. spent the whole year writing hunger games oc fics with my deviantart fanfiction besties whom i still think about all the time and always hope are having the best possible day. if you were here for this era understand i still hold you so closely and dearly in my heart <3.Â
#2: 2013 - god i was such a good example of a human being back then. was the year my writing like actually took off and i had a healthy balance between creative stuff and a social life (said social life consisting of spending lunchtimes at school breaking into classrooms and discussing fandom shit with five other people. reading homestuck updates in the music room on one personâs really shaky mobile data...legendary). highlight of the year and maybe my life was in the april of 2013 when i got out of failing to submit a hard deadline essay by telling my english teacher i wrote a whole novel over the two week break and then producing said novel. god i wish i had that level of like. fucking confidence back me back then knew what i wanted and how to get it.Â
#3: 2010 - the last year of childhood. i was 12 and played pokemon all the time with my friends and went places and had a moderately successful youtube channel and it didnât matter that i was bullied so badly at school because i was basically high off life. summer of 2010 was so good specifically. iâd used to get the bus with a friend and go see movies and break into historical sites and get into normal childhood mayhem and maxed out my pokewalkers twice a month and i was buzzed because i had two (2) whole friendship groups to choose from and that was such a huge deal to me the terminal social outcast. it was so simple and carefree and even though everything and everyone involved in this era grew up to suck except for one specific person i kinda really miss it.
#4: 2018 - this was the first year i wasnât depressed to the point of nonfunctioning. it was 20gayteen, i was on antidepressants, i was as close to thriving as i got at uni (going into town with people once a week, attending art and culture events, getting good grades across the board), i started to write for fun again, i got my cat whom i love dearly, i was exhibited in my uniâs cityâs literature festival, GOD i actually nearly attended a pride event that year can you imagine. this year was basically my lifeâs second peak. miss getting the 8am train and daintily sipping on a cherry coke to keep me from passing out. wish this time could have lasted longer.
#5: 2019 - kinda absolute middle of the road year not for lack of anything happening but because the overwhelming amount of good and bad things cancelled each other out. so like thereâs the fact that i was at the top of my uni game this year, was basically making the first steps into a professional writing career (covid i will never forgive you for killing all that dead </3), finally saved up enough to buy myself a gaming pc, and the summer after the homestuck epilogues, but equally 2019 was the start of the Pochapal Gender Fiasco which is by far the most horrible thing i am still currently undergoing and i burnt myself out mentally about halfway through the year (being stuck overnight in a hospital for a panic attack absolutely horrible horrible irredeemable) and then got like super death plague flu that i was sick with for three months (literally recovered less than a month before rona hit. godâs cruel karma.). so like...it kind of averaged out? the good shit was good but not as great as other years and the bad shit was awful but nowhere near as terrible as it could have been. gotta give a shoutout to 90% of my current mutual cohort for following me in 2019...omelette route gang make some noise !!
#6: 2014 - oof. this year essentially marked the start of a four year long downward mental health spiral because everything fell into awful alignment. iâd just turned 16, finished secondary school, had all my friends up and ditch me at once, was home alone for a whole summer, and was hit with Sudden Intense Body Image Issues that i couldnât explain until uh. after very recent developments lmao. this one goes out to the me of july 2014 who did nothing but lay in bed and listen to the same two marina albums on a loop because fuck iâm attracted to men and also my facial and body hair are really starting to come in and if i think about this for too long i will literally kill myself because oh god i canât handle getting older which is clearly and definitely the issue going on here. my brain fucking broke super hardcore and itâs a miracle that an overeating disorder was like the worst thing i walked away with.Â
#7: 2015 - downward spiral year two!! i was so volatile this year it was such a mess. i was totally socially isolated after a brief stint of falling in with a group of people at the start of my first year of sixth form until january where in quick succession a) it turned out every single one of these people was friends with the person who sexually assaulted me whom i obviously had a lot of complicated feelings towards and b) babyâs first crush came out as bisexual but in the âwomen and also trans womenâ kind of way which tore me up so terribly in ways i couldnât begin to understand. no words for the experience of seeing a girl kiss a boy and crying so hard at night you threw up because you could never be her no matter how much you wanted it. actually kinda get the sense what was going on there was bigger than just some crush lmao. then after that i was so mentally ill i basically attended school less than half the time and it was the only year in my life i failed my exams. i ended up having to resit my entire set of first year a level exams because jesus christ was i in such a bad way it was a miracle i even showed up to them. all i did was either have anxiety attacks or enter bedbound depressive slumps for weeks at a time. but itâs okay because it gets worse.
#8: 2016 - downward spiral act iii: the spiralling. prefacing this by saying that i actually had two whole good months (april - may) in that i was functioning enough to do my exams and finish school with decent grades. the rest was super extra mega terrible. my school attendance for year 13 dipped below 65% and literally the only thing that kept me from being kicked out was the fact that i was naturally smart at the subjects i took and also because the school would have a lot to answer for after letting me get to that state despite having a hefty file on how damaged i was. keep in mind every single part of this was fully untreated btw - i was just floundering around and letting it all fester. i spent three solid weeks going to school but locking myself in the bathroom all day every day and having mental health episodes then going home like nothing else happened only to continue the breakdown that night. then things got kicked into fucked up overdrive when i moved out to uni and was cut off from what little support structures i did have. it was so bad all i did was cry all the time and never went anywhere to the point where three separate sources recommended me to the wellbeing and crisis counselling service that i stopped going to after two sessions because i was fucked up in ways cbt techniques could not even touch. at least i tried to make an effort for the first two months of uni which like. good for me?
#9: 2017 - what lieth at the base of the spiral. helltrench year. i was at literal rock bottom. i stopped going to class, i didnât hand in a single piece of work. i lied to my parents and would book trains each day only to go back to my student flat and sit there and contemplate suicide. like i would just slump on the floor in a catatonic state and vividly contemplate one of four or so ways i could end my own life. i only didnât because i wanted to wait until the summer to collect my last student loan and transfer it to my parents as an apology for my death which obviously didnât end up happening. honestly i canât remember much of the first half of 2017 thatâs how bad it was. i remember taking a gender studies class and the teacher made it Weird that i was the Only Male Student in the room and then she sent me a scolding email after i walked out halfway through a class and never returned. apparently i got into a lot of online discourse in this year but i donât remember anything other than being put on a blocklist by the milkfic author over ace discourse which is funny if you have the context. mostly i just baited terfs and weirdo freaks to get them to say horrible things to me as what i guess amounts to some kind of digital self harm. anyway breaking point came in late august when i got kicked out of university and then nobody could ignore it any more so there was no choice left but for me to seek out help and recover enough to function which luckily i did. i really Do Not remember 2017. you could tell me anything about that year and iâd probably believe you.
#10: 2011 - extra circle of hell for this little fucked up gem of a year. on the surface it wasnât actually that terrible, until the Summer 2011 Domino Effect Of Bad Shit. up until like may/june it was a pretty all right year! i was 13 and had a surprisingly successful youtube channel uploading pokemon soundfont remixes to an audience of i think ~350-400 subscribers at my peak? anyway then i got hit with the early summer triple combo of childhood friends moving away, cute and quirky sexual assault at the hands of a person in my friend group, and then having some Really Great and Super Appropriate interactions with adults on deviantart. like obviously thereâs the actual ptsd-inducing event which totally disrupted and killed the person i was right up until that moment and reshaped every facet of my life for better or worse (thereâs an alternate timeline where that didnât happen and i got into electronic music and/or coding instead) but really itâs the events that followed in its wake which were kind of more fucked up. so like all of a sudden i was super aware of my body and me growing my hair out and being mistaken for a girl in class suddenly became this Less Innocent thing and i ended up spending hours overnight going to transgender questioning forums and looking up hrt timeline videos and having the wikipedia article on tracheal shaving saved because it was a life raft to me whose voice was imminently gonna deepen and i was simultaneously reeling with constant trauma flashbacks and the whole thing was so so fucked up. then i was on deviantart and i donât remember exactly how but a small group of furry guys ten to fifteen years older than me started messaging me and encouraging and requesting me to produce nonsexual fetish stuff for them and talking to me about stuff like if iâd ever thought about growing up to be gay and i didnât think anything of it for a long while because they called me a very talented writer and it felt so good to have someone be nice to me after being so alone and isolated for months on end. anyway the only reason i got out of that before it got bad was because they invited me to one of the big furry sites and i was weirded out because i thought it was a porn site and thinking about sexual stuff was a huge trauma trigger so i just ended up blocking them all and pretending like it didnât happen. at the time half this shit didnât bother me but in retrospect holy fuck 2011 was such a damaging year. to think if like three events didnât happen i wouldnât be the fucked up mess you see before you today.
god fuck this turned out super long but iâm not apologising because this was a therapeutic exercise for me and also constitutes as one of the biggest pochapal lore dumps of all time. come get your food or whatever.
#Anonymous#long post#read all of this if you have vested interest in knowing intimate details about my life or whatever
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Once bitten, twice stupid prt.12
Dug up by Shiro, the hunter unburied his face. The ground was cold and damp, not regenerating or refreshing, but Lance stayed there out of sheer stubbornness. The image of Keithâs smug face drifted into his minds eye each time he thought about climbing out. Keeping his eyes closed, playing âdeadâ didnât work
âLance, Iâm heading into Platt todayâ
Hurray! Good for Shiro!
âIâll be leaving Keith here. He isnât getting any better and I donât know how long itâll be before I can come backâ
Nooooooo!
âLance?â
âError 404: Vampire not foundâ
Shiro growled
âThis is serious!â
âYour call cannot be connected. Please check the number and try againâ
âLance!â
âSorry, Lance isnât home... whaaaa!â
Shiro ripped him upwards by his shirt front, Lance impressed he could pull him up with the weight of dirt across his body
âWhy are you being like this?!â
Shiro didnât need to be so cranky, he just needed to listen with his ears, which Lance was beginning to suspect were for display purposes only
âBecause Keith isnât a vampireâ
âI donât know why you refuse to believe the factsâ
Him?! Him! He was the vampire here! He should know if he turned someone!
âBecause youâre both stupid! Keith isnât a vampire! I donât know how many times I can tell you!â
âI donât care what you have to do. Keep Keith safeâ
âI donât know if I can, I donât have kiddy locks on the dangerous stuffâ
âLance. Please. Why are you being like this? Do you not remember what itâs like to love someone? Keith is my family. Iâm asking you to guard my one and only brother. Please...â
Jesus. Shiro made him feel like a bag of shit. Heâd told the man he wouldnât be in such a craptastic mood, yet he kept losing his damn temper. If he was in Shiroâs place, heâd probably be an idiot too
âOkay, okay. Iâm not going to let him get hurt. But if he hurts himself, thatâs on himâ
âI need you to stop him from doing that. Heâs not in a good place right now. Iâm not saying heâd do something intentionally, but Iâm not saying he wonât. You donât have to be his best friend, but maybe if youâre honest with him, heâll listenâ
âIâve been honest with him... Iâve been so honest with him I had to bury myself to get a moments peace. I donât think this going to end wellâ
âFor your sake, I hope that it doesâ
*
Pretending he didnât have a moping hunter in his guest bedroom, Lance showered before setting himself up in the office. Pidge had been blowing up their group trap, blaming him for the influx of memes sheâd spammed the group with thanks to him not replying. Ensuring both his friends he was okay, he put his disappearance down to a cold, covering his arse by slipping in a little white lie about taking a trip to Platt to see a doctor and get the all clear. Seeing it was mostly truth and he wasnât lying to hurt his friends, the niggle or guilt he felt was minimal. Keeping his replies short, Lance didnât know what to say to Pidge anymore. The guilt he felt over Matt felt as if he was Atlas with the world upon his shoulders.
As Lance progressed to checking his emails, he found himself annoyed that Keith hadnât been out to yell at him yet. Heâd expected more from him. Heâd expected to have a gun pulled on him again as he replied to email after email, confirming he was available to appear via tele-conference in a small time court case that was pretty much agreeing that both parents had signed off on shared custody of their children, and that heâd already submitted the paperwork to social services. He wasnât charging the family as theyâd both come to an amicable agreement and only sought him out to ensure things would run smoothly, after the dad had panicked thanks to a misunderstanding with social services. If only Keith could be as accomodating. Maybe if they could meet half way, all of this would be sorted out within the day, then he could go join Shiro. Having someone in his house was weird, especially when one would assume Keith was the vampire out of the pair of them. He had the sullen brood of pop culture down, as well as the good looks of a protagonist. Wait. Nope. Keith wasnât that good looking... Great. Now he was having weird thoughts. Keith was nothing to him. He was less than nothing to Keith... he was simply feeling guilty because Shiro had asked him to take care of Keith.
Leaving his office, Lance walked down the hall to the guest bedroom. He summoned up his courage before knocking lightly on the door, not wanting to startle Keith, or wake him if he was sleeping. Getting no reply, Lance opened the door. Keith was sitting on his bed with his blade in his hands, eyes fixed on the weapon
âUh... Keith?â
âWhat do you want?â
âI thought maybe you were hungry?â
âI am, but you wonât feed me properlyâ
âThatâs because youâre still a humanâ
âIâm not! Youâre enjoying this, arenât you? Having the last laugh at my expenseâ
âKeith, Iâm not laughing at youâ
âThen why wonât you teach me! Why wonât you let Shiro give up on me?!â
What now? That didnât even make sense
âKeith, youâre the one who believes youâre not human! I keep telling you, you areâ
âYou canât be trusted!â
âAnd youâre a dumbarse!â
âFuck you! You made me a monster! A filthy bloodsucker like you!â
âI sucked on your gross blood and saved your life! Is it really so hard to believe a vampire could help a hunter?â
âIt is when itâs scum like you!â
Lance snapped. Before Keith knew what was happening, Lance had snatched away his blade and thrown it across the room. With a snarl, he hoisted Keith up, throwing him over his shoulder
âPut me down!â
âNo! Not until you get it through your head!â
âIâll fucking kill you!â
âNot unless I kill you firstâ
Keith pounded his fists against Lanceâs back as he tried to free himself. Marching out the bedroom and through to the front door, Lance threw it open. In less than second heâd reached the edge of the porch, where he threw Keith out in the sun
âFucking stay out here until you get a hint!â
Keith curled into a ball, arms up to protect his face, screaming
âItâs burns!â
âThe only thing that burns here is my cheeks in second hand embarrassment for you! Think about what youâve done!â
âIt hurts!â
âYouâre a human! Huuuuuuu-man!â
Pulling his jacket tighter around him, Lance headed back into his house. Heâd give Keith half an hour out there, time enough to work out he wasnât burning to death, then let him back in. Sure, he could go around in the sun if he wanted, but Keith and Shiro didnât know that. He was always bundled up layers thanks to fact he perpetually freezing. Maybe he should get his own, strip down to his boxers and go for a walk in the sun just to see their shocked faces? No, that would convince Keith further that he was a vampire.
It was a long half an hour wait, when Lance opened the door, Keith was under the doormat shaking. Grabbing his arm, he dragged the hunter inside
âAre you prepared to listen yet?â
âJust donât put me out in the sun again...â
âThe sun is good for you. It raises your mood and you get your daily dose of vitamin D. Humanâs need the sun to keep healthyâ
âI donât want to dieâ
âYouâre not going toâ
âBut Iâm... one of you nowâ
Lance sighed deeply
âYouâre not one of usâ
âI am! My body...â
âItâs all in your headâ
âItâs not!â
âThatâs it. Youâre going back out in the sunâ
Hefting Keith up again, Lance carried him back outside again, dumping him further from the house this time
âCool your fucking head down and think about everything thatâs happened since you claimed I turned you. You got sick because you poisoned yourself. I got sick because I drank your gross arse blood to suck the fucking mercury out your system. Youâre welcome, by the way. Not that I should be helping your stupid arse when you want me dead. Youâre not allowed back in the house until you finally come to the conclusion youâre not a goddamn vampire on your ownâ
âI am! You turned me!â
Lance snapped. Grabbing Keith by the shirt, he snarled in his face
âIf you were turned youâd know. Youâd be screaming as your blood boiled from the inside. Clawing at your own skin, trying to feel any kind of pain that isnât your insides bubbling. Begging for death as you piss yourself in the fear and confusion over whatâs happening to you. Itâs not fucking fun to be turned and itâs not a joke. It hurts. It hurts so bad you scream until your coughing up blood. Your sires holding your down as they poor blood down your throat, as the kick the shit out of you because they can, as the laugh in your face. And the nightmares. The nightmares feel so real, and youâre stuck. You canât wake up. You canât call for help. Youâre stuck there, with every bad thing in the night that you can think of all taking a piece of you away. You havenât been turned. I never let my blood get into your system. Donât make me keep reliving the worst day of my fucking life!â
Dropping Keith, Lance stumbled back, yelling
âFuck!â
Kicking the doorframe only served to hurt his toes. His hands going to his hair where he gripped firmly. Keith was looking at him... with such... god, he didnât even know what the expression Keith was wearing was
âLance...?â
âJust... stay away from meâ
*
Shiro had left on foot. Lance unloading his car as he tried to find a way back to keeping a calm head. Heâd lost his shit at Keith. Completely and totally like some kind of freak. God. Why was Keith under his skin? He was hopeless, thick, and hot headed. He didnât understand him, and he didnât understand why Shiro had left him in his care. That wasnât normal. Not that Shiro and Keith seemed normal when it came to hunters.
Carting everything to the back of his house, the job was done too fast as heâd neglected to put his glasses back on after scrubbing himself squeaky clean, meaning he wasnât keeping that side of himself consciously in check. Dirt naps were horrendous for his bathroomâs plumbing. His skin was screaming out for some TLC, heâd cleanse and tone tonight with a nice mug of warm blood and mindless cartoons. First thing first came retrieving his shovel from his shallow grave, the same fucking dandelion thatâd ended up on top of the dirt mound now lay on the pavers mocking him, Shiro had left damn boot prints everywhere. His house wasnât the greatest, but he didnât need others making it look like a hovel.
Working himself into a sweat, Lance weeded the garden beds within an inch of his life. The manual labour felt good, his arm didnât hurt at all, so he didnât feel bad about disobeying Alluraâs orders. As the sun was lowering, Lance felt eyes on his back, flicking his gaze over his shoulder, Keith stood in the doorway, arms crossed and grumpy expression on his face
âIf it isnât the vampire wannabe. What did I do wrong this time?â
âI want to fight youâ
Lance looked back to his pansies. They hadnât appreciated being left in the car overnight. The poor things didnât look like they wanted to perk back up
âPassâ
âYou say Iâm not a vampire, but somethingâs changed in my body. I want to fight youâ
âNope. Iâm good. If you want to start sweeping up, I wouldnât say no to thatâ
âFucking fight me!â
Lance closed his eyes, starting to hum
âDonât ignore me!â
Humming louder, Keith didnât take too kindly to it. Striding over, he grabbed Lance by the back of his jacket and yanked him back to
âOi! Hands off the merchandise!â
âFight me!â
He might as well humour him. Keith had limited brain cells as it was, the mercury wouldnât have helped that
âWhy?â
âBecause I canât understand you!â
âStop yelling at me! You donât need to yell, I can hear you even if I donât want toâ
âYouâve done something to me, and I need to know what it is!â
âIâve saved your damn life. Despite my own best interests. I tried to be a good host and you ruined my fucking life for it. Iâd rather just sit here and play in my gardenâ
âEither you fight me, or Iâll kill youâ
Lance couldnât hide the smirk in his voice
âThat worked so well for you last timeâ
Keith kicked him hard in the top of Lanceâs leg
âFight me!â
âNoâ
âFight me!â
âNopeâ
âIâll tell Shiroâ
Lance gaped
âHow old are you? Is this your usual shtick? Running to Shiro. Heâs worried as hell about you. Heâs exhausting every resource he can to help youâ
âYouâre the one who turned me, you have to help meâ
âThe only thing Iâve done is apparently turn you into an idiot!â
âFight me and Iâll drop itâ
Lance jerked back as he pulled a face
âWhat kind of logic is that?â
âIf Iâm not as strong and fast as you Iâll know one way or anotherâ
âCanât we be civil and talk this over, over a nice hot cup of teaâ
âFight me!â
God. This wasnât going to end well
âFine. Just let me wash my hands first, and put the sprinklers on these poor babiesâ
âFine!â
Keith had gone all out, mask and everything as they stood on the back lawn. Both blades were in his hands, gun on his belt like heâd actually have time for it if Lance was fighting for real
âHow is this going to work?â
âItâs over once I drop your sorry arse!â
Lance was sorely tempted to drop his own sorry arse on the lawn and take a nap
âAnd if you donât?â
âThen, I donât know. Stop trying to put me off!â
âIf you donât win, you have to eat whatever I cook tonight. Thatâs the dealâ
âFine! Whatever! Come at me!â
It may have been slightly insulting to walk up to Keith. Flicking him in the forehead sent Keithâs face red
âDonât underestimate me!â
Damn if this man didnât like yelling. Leaping back nimbly, Lance faked enough to drop his stance like this was actually going to be anything more than Keith making a fool of himself
âCome get me thenâ
Keith charged, Lance dodging every blow sent his way. The man fought without restraint, eyes narrowed as he tried to predict Lanceâs moves, constantly on the offence yet trying to throw up his defence at the same time. Keith had some skill... which was probably okay when he was teamed with others, alone... well, he needed longer to develop those skills if he hoped to become a seasoned hunter. Giving him a few minutes of his time, Lance ended their first fight by taking Keith by the arm and throwing him down over his shoulder. Laying there with his chest heaving, Keith looked royally pissed
âScore one for me. I hope you like steak, Iâm in the mood for a nice steak dinnerâ
âAgain!â
âWhat?â
âFight me againâ
âLook, that wasnât the agreement. Now go wash up for dinnerâ
âJust fight me againâ
âTomorrow, if we really have to. Youâre still recovering from the last dumb thing you didâ
âDonât treat me like Iâm a little kid! I can take it!â
âPart of being an adult is knowing your own limits. You wonât get any better if you keep throwing yourself into an attack. Look, to be frank, right now Iâm wondering how you ended up as a hunter. This isnât an easy life, youâre...â
âStop talking like you know everything! Fight meâ
âKeith...â
What was he supposed to do with a hunter? Keith wasnât his child. He was a grown man. Whoâd failed the first mission he led. His ego probably wouldnât let him accept a simple defeat
â... tomorrow. Tomorrow Iâll help you with your training. Just so you know, Iâve never been much for fighting. Iâve got a work call that I absolutely have to make, but, tomorrow I will make time to help youâ
âI donât need help, I need to fightâ
âShiro said to take care of you, letting you work yourself to point of collapse isnât going to bring him back any faster, or make you feel any betterâ
âYou donât get it...â
âYouâre right, I have no idea whatâs going on with that brain cell rocketing around your mulletted head. But before you start screaming at me again, I think you need to sit down and have a good hard think about your actions. The bathrooms on a seperate water in supply. Weâll both get cleaned up, then youâre having dinner because that was the dealâ
âFuck you! I donât need your charity!â
âThen you get your bony arse out my houseâ
Why heâd volunteered himself to help Keith was beyond Lance. The man hated him, so why bother? Stupid Keith and his stupid mullet needed to cool off and clean himself up. Lance prayed to god that Keith finally got the message that he wasnât a damn vampire.
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After Hours - Chapter 9
Previous Chapter
Summary: Evelyn Monroe has been a TA for professor Laufeysonâs Calculus course for four months now. He was known to be quite strict, but that never deterred her from applying for the position in order to be close to the man she had been secretly pining for. One evening, she returns to his office after opening hours⌠and with her bountiful luck, she walks in on something not meant to be seen.
Chapters: 9/?
Words: 2800+
Warnings:Â None
Tags:Â @milkymaidme @dangertoozmanykids101@alexakeyloveloki @little-moonbeam-666 Â @marvel-ous-fics@clovermariear@lynnesm@bitchyikes@moon-child-of-a-poet, @allthecraftandthings@bubblegumspitt @shockwavee @blondekel77 @nerdânirvana @valdemarismynonbinarylove@nightrose64 @pastelhexmaniac @iistormii
If youâd like to be added, let me know. Iâve also posted this on AO3
_____________
After getting handsy with her professor, it was as if Evelyn were on a blissful high. She was happy, extremely so that at the time she didnât care about the mess they made of his desk, or the roundabout way they had to take to leave the building to avoid being noticed together.
Thankfully there hadnât been a run-in with Andrès or any other lingering students, so he was able to drive her home without incident.
Evelyn was not sure why, but she anticipated the drive to be in awkward silence, or have some sort of strange tension. This was a new experience for her, so she didnât quite know how to act around him now. She was usually good at starting conversations out of thin air, especially with this professor of hers...but she had no idea what to say, or where to begin.
While she expected to grow more comfortable in his presence after what they did together, it seemed to have made her even shyer instead.
Strangely enough, he sensed her plight. Removing a hand from the steering wheel, he stopped the fidgeting of her fingers by giving her hands a comforting squeeze on top of her lap, âYouâre oddly quiet, for someone as talkative as yourself. Is something on your mind, darling?"
His deep voice startled her from her thoughts, her senses now aware of his hand dwarfing her small ones, âOh..Iâm fine. Just, um... thinking. Nothing important.â
Evelyn didnât want him to view her as childish or immature, which she believed her current line of thinking was. She would much rather keep her thoughts to herself than portray the image of a naive, fiddling woman that she was sure he abhorred.
Loki, however, was persistent. Whatever troubled her seemed to affect him as well, and he needed to get to the bottom of it. âEvelyn, you do know how fruitless it is for you to lie to me?â
One thing Evelyn disliked, yet admired about the man was how perceptive he was to her emotions. She felt like an open book most of the time, and she wasnât sure she liked that yet.
Sighing audibly, she turned to look at him. His eyes were focused on the road, with a smile on his lips. It softened his features significantly, however small that smile may be. Seeing his calm demeanor affected her, prompting her to speak.
âItâs just⌠are we together now? Like, exclusive? It's probably a stupid question, but I wanna make sure weâre on the same page.â
He merely chuckled, his eyes gaining a teasing light, â I did recall claiming you as my woman, yes? Or do you require more...confirmation?â
Evelyn didnât think her face could get any redder. She pouted, her expression indignant, âCan you give a straight answer, please?â
Loki gave her hands another light squeeze, his smile widening, âIt wouldnât be any fun that way. Besides, I love it when you get all flustered. Itâs quite cute, really.â
She never expected the word âcuteâ to ever leave his mouth, nor the playful manner in which he spoke to her. If this was his version of teasing, she wasnât sure her heart could survive the brunt of it.
âBut to answer your question,â his tone grew more serious, looking away from the road momentarily to glance at their joined hands, â It would be complicated, given your status as a student. We are indeed in a relationship, but this fact cannot be made known on campus. I am sure you know why.â
âUm...yeah, I get it. Iâm still your TA, so it would make sense to keep things on the down-low. I donât mind.â
Besides the obvious ethical reasons, she didnât want to be hounded by jealous bitches on campus. Especially the faculty. She had seen a couple of her other professors throughout various departments interact with the man, and they all had the same little âI want your cock inside me, teehee!â twinkle in their eyes.
Evelyn did, however, want to tell someone. What if she needed advice? But she couldnât tell any of her friends on campus since they were straight-up gossiping hoebags.
I could at least tell Candice, right?
âCandice? Is that your sister?â
He turned onto a familiar street, stopping at a traffic light. He then looked at her curiously with a raised brow, âAs long as she doesnât attend the school, I donât necessarily mind.â
I said that out loud? Again?!
âOh! Oh, really? You donât mind her knowing...?â She didnât think that last thought would slip from her brain and into her traitorous mouth, but she might as well roll with the dice.
âNo, I donât see why I would. Sheâs going to find out eventually, so thereâs no point in hiding it.â
That went... better than expected. It seemed too good to be true, so she decided to test the waters a bit more, âBut, I thought you didnât want us to be public? And she could be a bit...judgy. In fact, my whole family is...â
Especially her mother. If she found out Evelyn was involved with her professor...sheâd most definitely smack her into the next century.
He pondered for a moment, seeing that the topic worried her. âPublic on campus, yes. But within our own private circles, it's fine to be more open. Sheâs your sister, not some random friend.â
He continued to drive once more, and she could tell they were getting close to her apartment, â...And regarding your familyâs possible judgement, it honestly matters little to me. I only care about what you think.â
Butterflies went haywire inside her stomach, her face heating up at his words. He only cared about what she thought? Her opinion, especially within her family, was always overlooked - so she was extremely grateful that he valued what she thought about him.
She felt a bit embarrassed, clearing her throat lightly before replying in a quiet voice, âOh...um...thanks?â She didnât know how else to respond, so it sounded awkward to the ears.
He only laughed, eyes glinting with amusement at her reply, âDonât be so embarrassed, Iâm merely telling the truth. Ah, here we are,â
He pulled to a stop across the street from her building, and Evelyn felt a sudden sense of loss wash over her. She didnât want to go home already - she wanted to spend much, much more time with him now that things were different between them. She was becoming so attached already, it frightened her to a degree.
Evelyn didnât know he was calling her name until she felt a gentle pull on her chin.
"Evelyn? I asked if you've saved my number," he looked at her concernedly, brows scrunched up.
"Huh? Yeah yeah...I think I - oh, no... I didnât actually," she pulled out her phone to check, but then remembered that she forgot to save it from his email a while back.
âHere, allow me,â he held out his hand for her phone, for which she quickly obliged.
Loki entered his number quickly, then called his own cell to save hers.
When she went to take back her phone however, she was caught unawares when he took hold of her face to draw her into a hungry kiss. His hand moved to her neck, and the kiss quickly grew in intensity as his tongue explored the warmth of her mouth.
The kiss felt almost desperate, as if he wanted to savor her before he had to leave.
When they parted for air, his eyes were dark and narrowed.
âMine,â he murmured against her lips, so softly that if they werenât so close, she might have missed it.
______________
A few days had passed since Evelyn had last seen professor Laufeyson - or Loki, rather. She still had to get used to calling him by his first name, although she hadn't had the time to put it into actual practice.
She was still behind in several projects, and with final critiques now steadily approaching, Evelyn feared that sheâd barely have time to see him in the near future, save for their meetings.
However, the next meeting theyâd have would be with the other TAâs in his class to discuss grading/proctoring final examinations, so they wouldnât be alone.
Fortunately, she did have his number - she was just...too scared to actually use it. He didnât contact her after that night, only texting her briefly to see if she made it inside her home without incident.
But he was a busy man, so she never expected him to be an active texter anyway.
She didnât want to seem clingy and bombard his phone with calls and texts, but she did miss his voiceâŚand touch.
Evelyn really wanted to slap herself. She wasnât this obsessed back when she admired him from afar - it was starting to become unnerving.
She stretched lazily in her chair, sighing softly to herself. Sheâd been stuck in the studio for several hours now, yet she was struggling to complete her painting because her mind was too preoccupied to focus.
Her senior painting class was meeting up tomorrow for the weekly group critique, and she wanted at least one solid work of art to show for.
She was about to resume painting, until her phone went off with a ping!
Her heart randomly started pounding, stomach warm with butterflies. Did Loki finally send her another message?
She went to check quickly, and was promptly doused with cold disappointment.
It was the group chat she had with several of her friends on the app Line, and Andrès had sent a message.
Evelyn sucked her teeth in annoyance, before checking the notification to see what he had to say.
Yaboi Andrès: Can y'all tell me if I'm tripping balls or not???
A flurry of messages pinged soon after.
Ieatass uwu: What happened? :C
Chantel24: You're always tripping balls. Stfu.
Mandydandy: Â what's tripping balls mean?
Evelyn rolled her eyes. He occasionally had stupid shit to say, and the group chat always blew up her phone when he riled them up.
She was about to turn off notifications, until he sent one message that stopped her heart.
Yaboi Andrès: It's about professor Laufeyson. Y'all know him right? He teaches math in the science dept.
Ieatass uwu: Yea Eve's his TA. What about him?
Mandydandy: Fucker failed me when I took his Statistics class last year. And I'd gladly take it again ( ͥ° ÍĘ ÍĄÂ°)
Chantel24: Yeah, why?
Evelyn suddenly became extremely worried. He was just going to complain about failing the class...right? It's not like he heard anything that night. They were quiet, she was sureâŚ
Yaboi Andrès: I think he's clapping cheeks in his office y'all.
Evidently, she was wrong.
Mandydandy: !!!!!!
Mandydandy:Now I know u fuckin lying.(ಠ_ಠ)
Mandydandy: Like, foreal?
Chantel24: âŚâŚ.
Ieatass uwu: Laufeyson of all people? How you know? OmgâŚ
Chantel24: Explain. This better not be stupid.
Evelyn's heart began to beat uncontrollably in her chest, her hands starting to sweat. Her eyes never left the screen as she gripped the phone tighter, watching as Andrès typed a string of messages.
Yaboi Andrès: Aight so boom. Eve left her purse in his office or whatever, asked me to pick it up. I said hell no, but changed mind cuz I'm a good friend as you know. But when I went, he told me I was failing the class and all that shit. Got me fucked up.
Chantel24: Get to the point.
Mandydandy: ^^^
Yaboi Andrès: Chill, I'm getting there. Anyway fast-forward, it's night and I just got out my last class. I'm still tight as fuck, and scared too cuz I need to pass the class. So I'm like fuck it, Imma go plead my case or just drop the course.
Yaboi Andrès: I ain't know his office hours but I went anyway, and this where shit gets spicyâŚ
At this point, Evelyn knew she had to intervene.
She started to type furiously, her fingers shaking as she did so.
Evie<3: Andrès. As his TA, Iâd appreciate if you didnât speak about him in that manner. Heâs a private, proper person who wouldnât do what youâre suggesting. Stop typing weird shit please.
It felt strange typing that, seeing as she herself caught Loki doing the exact thing Andrès accused him off. Only this time...she was the one on the other side of the door.
Thinking about it again, she felt so off. Was she a horrible person, doing something so filthy in his office and liking it?
Evelyn started to question her morals seriously in that moment, her heart suddenly unsure. She feared she may have bitten off more than she can chew, involving herself with a professor.
She anticipated awkward situations like this would be common place, and she wasnât sure she could tackle them.
Another ping drew her attention back to the phone as she bit her lip.
Mandydandy: Eve, bless ur heart. We all know u wanna hoppity-hop on his dick too. âhEâs A pRoPeR pErsOnâ my ass.
Ieatass uwu: Â And I oop- â.â
She became angry in that instant. Oh, if only they knewâŚ
Evie<3: Unless youâre itching to catch these hands, Iâd suggest you watch your mouth. Iâm dead serious.
Yaboi Andrès: Chill, chill! It's really not that serious.
Mandydandy: Iâm just fuckin with you, dang. You know Iâm like this already >.>
Chantel24: Yâall are outta pocket today.
Evelyn forced herself to shut off the screen, slamming her phone a bit too harshly on the table. If she engaged them even more, sheâd only make herself out to be suspicious.
When she saw Loki next, sheâd have to speak to him about this. And she was not looking forward to it.
She took off her glasses to rub at her eyes tiredly, stressed from the entire situation.
I need a damn break from this shit...
Speaking of breaks, she was in desperate need for the restroom, as she was cooped up in the studios for hours on end.
She went to the only restroom outside of the studios, washing her face with cold water to help stave off the incoming headache.
Evelyn decided to just head back and get ready to go for lunch, seeing as she couldnât find it in herself to finish painting anyway after that conversation. She hoped some food would help lift her spirits, if only a little.
As she was heading back towards the studio, she spotted two figures in the distance, a man and a woman, right at the entrance. Sheâd left her glasses back on her work table, so she couldnât see clearly.
When she got closer and the figures became clearer, her heart skipped a beat once she realized who it was.
"...And these are the student studios, I'm gathering? For the seniors?"
Loki spoke to the woman beside him, whom she now recognized as her senior painting professor, who insisted her students call her by her first name - Cindy.
âYep! We have about 15 seniors this semester, and they all share the same space, divided into cubicles that serve as their private work areas. It does get a bit cramped, but weâre working on installing more walls and expanding...â
Cindy spoke animatedly to a seemingly interested Loki, until something else caught her attention.
Sensing her presence, the woman turned her head, with Loki following suit. And as soon as he laid eyes on Evelyn, his visage immediately lost all of its tension.
Evelyn didnât know how to react to his presence, especially since they had an audience.
âOh Eve! Are you busy right now, by chance?â Cindy asked, her voice unusually high pitched.
She was taken aback by the sudden question, "Huh? Oh, no, not really�"
"Phew, good! I was giving Mr.Laufeyson here a small tour of the department, but I have to head to a meeting in a few. I don't want to cut it short, so I was hoping you could take over?"
She could feel his gaze burning into her skull, and she forced herself to focus on Cindy, "Yeah, yeah! I don't mindâŚ"
"Thank you for your help thus far, Cindy. It was much appreciated," Although Loki spoke to her, his eyes never left Evelyn's form.
Regardless, Cindy blushed visibly, â Oh⌠of course! Any time you decide to drop by, please visit my office. Iâll be sure to give you a more thorough tour next time...â
And with one more nod in Lokiâs direction, Cindy scurried off, leaving the two completely alone.
When Evelyn turned once more to address him, she was startled to see that he had already moved incredibly close.
He took hold of her hand without warning, and she struggled to keep up with his long legs that took them to a secluded corner in the empty hallway.
âProfess- I mean, Loki! Whatâre you doing here? Why -â
Her voice was cut short by the look in his eyes. They were absolutely feral, almost black with desire.
It wasnât long before he gripped her jaw harshly with his hand, tipping her face upward before delving his tongue inside her mouth with much urgency.
??!!!
And that was the only visible thought Evelyn could manage.
#loki fanfiction#tom hiddleston fanfiction#tom hiddleston fic#loki fanfic#loki fandom#Loki Laufeyson#loki odinson#professor loki
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Girl Meets Season 6 - Episode Eleven â Girl Meets Fear for the Future
Synopsis: The Journey from High School and into College will test everything Riley knew about her life, her friendships and her love. What life lessons will she learn in her first year of college? Â
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
A/N: ITâS ALIVE!!!!!!!
A/N: Sorry for not writing, a lot of things happened, including me getting a little depressed about not having any job prospects after graduating, someone I know was diagnosed with cancer, my mother is having surgery, and a million other things including writer's block and insomnia. Have you ever been so stressed out that no matter what you tried it felt like everything was going wrong? Well that was me for the last month. But I thought about it all and figured that, life will go on, and I just have to keep going with it.
So, part of this chapter is catharsis, the other is me filling in the gaps for you guys on the other couples, the majority of this is based on my own friendship with my best friend, who I love with all of my heart, and while we went to college together, I was involved in a million things and she pulled away. I usually send her messages through instagram/facebook messenger/text... etc... etc... Because friends who have known each other forever, can grow apart and find their way back to one another at the same time.
Episode Eleven â Girl Meets Fear for the Future
 There was a moment, just weeks before the end of the semester, where Maya had realized that she hadnât seen Riley in weeks. She tried to think back to the last time she had seen her best friend and the only image that popped up was from some party that had felt like an eternity away. She was sitting in her dorm room putting the final touches on a piece of art that she had to hand in for the final in her drawing class. Smackle was at her desk typing away on her laptop, mumbling to herself every once and while about something that Maya would never understand. She knew better than to interrupt the genius while looking at some math thing that only Farkle would understand.
Maya and Smackle had become good friends over the last few months, they drove into the city together with Farkle all of the time. Maya usually went to see Josh, but the four of them had somehow found themselves doing double dates in the most unusual places. Smackle wanted to learn about normal non-genius couples, but Maya had learned that it also had to do with the fact that Smackle had wanted to have some fun without all of the work. It was rare for Smackle to do non-Smackle things, so with Maya planning everything the genius got the chance to try new things.
They did these things twice a month, just the four of them, and it had become normal for her to be in the city with her parents and Josh on weekends. But now that she thought back to the last few months the one thing she had always sworn that she wouldnât do, happened without her even trying. She had been busy, college was a lot harder for her than she had expected, but she loved her classes and tried her best in them. She was the first in her family to go to college in the first place and it had made her mother so happy that Maya hadnât wanted to disappoint her. But Riley was also family to her and she had barely seen the brunette in weeks.
âHey Smackle,â Maya called out to the genius. âWhen was the last time we all hung out together, all six of us?â
Smackle didnât answer her, still mumbling the problem to herself, Maya wanted to ask again but instead picked up her phone and walked out into the hallway. Everyone was studying or writing papers, since the end of the semester was near so she walked into the stairwell and closed the door, quickly dialing Josh. When he didnât pick up she sighed and left him a quick message so that he would call her back.
She sat there for another fifteen minutes wondering about what her best friend had been doing the last few weeks, and how they had both let their friendship slip. She was lost in her thoughts when someone sat down next to her pushing her slightly with their shoulder. Turning to glare at the person intruding on her thoughts, she was greeted with a warm smile of her other childhood best friend.
âHey there,â she said smiling at Farkle. âWhat brings you over here this time of day?â
âSmackle sent me a message, she said you needed someone to talk to,â he said with a smile. Maya hadnât thought that Smackle had been listening at all, but the girl had ended up calling for reinforcements. âShe would help you but our professor posted an impossible problem the other day, he swore no one could figure it out, so sheâs been working on it trying to prove him wrong.â
âAnd why arenât you working on it?â
âIâll have my chance, I wasnât interested in the problem right now,â Farkle gave her a small smile. âPlus, I want Smackle to shine.â
âYouâve got a soft spot for her if youâre giving something like this up.â
âWell she has my heart, all that matters is that weâre both happyâ he smiled. âNow whatâs bothering you that had Smackle worried enough to call me over here.â
Maya sighed and stared at the wall in front of them, âFarkle when was the last time we talked to Riley, or hung out with Lucas and Zay?â
Farkle gave her a small smile, it must have been something that had been weighing on his mind lately, âItâs been a while,â he said as he looked down at his hands.
âDo you think Rileyâs noticed?â she asked wondering why her best friend hadnât thought to check in with them. âI mean itâs weird right?â
âWell we all have different schedules, at this point different lives,â he said before looking up at her. âYou and me, we hang out more now than we used to, Iâm grateful for that because youâve helped Smackle come out of her shell just a little more, sheâs trying so many things because of that.â
âBut itâs not the same,â she finished before he could say the worlds. âIt feels like a phantom pain, we should have known it was missing but it feels like sheâs still there.â
The two of them didnât say another word, only sitting there in silence as the light outside faded into darkness. They both had things to do, but for some reason they werenât rushing to go do them. Someone had been walking up the stairs when they had finally realized that they had been sitting there in silence for almost an hour. Maya was surprised to see Josh standing at the bottom of the staircase looking at the two gloomy friends.
âI figured Iâd visit this weekend,â Josh said smiling at her, and she knew he was trying to cheer her up. âI listened to your voicemail, and figured that you needed some comfort.â
Josh sat in front of her, his back against the railing, as he took her hand in his and held it towards his heart. Mayaâs mind was at war with itself, she couldnât figure out if she was happy or sad, there were too many things going on and no answers. No Riley to pull her back from the darkest parts of her heart.
âWhatâs wrong,â Josh asked them when neither had said a word.
âWe just realized that we havenât seen Riley in a while,â Farkle answered for the both of them. âI guess we just miss her.â
âYouâre afraid that youâre losing her,â Josh said a sad smile on his face. âIâm pretty sure thatâs not the case considering she sends me weekly emails, Iâm pretty sure she sends them to you too.â
âWhat emails?â Mayaâs head shot up at her boyfriendâs words. âRiley knows I donât check my emails, most of the time they get lost in a sea of spam and I just leave it alone.â
âMaya, you probably have a million emails from her, just search for her name and they should pop up,â he said smiling at her. Josh somehow always tried to make things a little better whenever she unsure of something.
âHave you check your emails,â she asked Farkle who shrugged.
âI donât remember getting anything from Riley, but I think Iâve only used my school email because of all of the assignments weâve had, so I should check them shouldnât I,â he said before running his hand through his hair. âIâve been a little busy.â
âYeah I know, youâre trying to save the world, how about you start with Smackle and get her away from what sheâs doing since sheâs been mumbling to herself for a while now,â Maya said as her heart felt lighter for a moment. Then she realized that if Riley had been emailing her and she hadnât replied then she had been the horrible friend.
âDonât think that,â Josh said as if he had read her mind. âFarkle go check on your girlfriend, Iâm going to talk to Maya for a while.â
âWill do,â Farkle said with a smile. âDonât worry Maya, Riley will be there for us even if weâve been too preoccupied.â
She nodded but it didnât stop the feeling of dread in her stomach. âSee you later,â she said trying to sound happy as he walked off.
âSeriously,â Josh said once Farkle was gone. âDonât think too much about it, Riley knows youâre busy, she tells me all of the time,â Maya watched as he pulled out his phone, and opened the email app. âI know Maya gets too obsessed with her art projects, just make sure she has a little fun this weekend⌠She sometimes forgets things when sheâs in her art haze, sheâs going to be a famous artist, but she needs to remember the outside world,â he said smiling at her.
âI didnât know I went through things like that,â she said feeling herself blush, it felt so out of character for her to even do that.
âShe always sends me stuff like that, let me see,â he said as he opened another email. âShe likes ring dings the most, so if you take her on that picnic make sure you pack some.â
âThatâs true,â Maya said with a smile.
âHer favorite color isnât red, no matter how much she tries to tell you otherwise, her favorite color is yellow, so get her the yellow dress.â
âReally Riley,â Maya said before burying her head in her hands. âHow many more of these little tidbits does she have?â
âI have them all saved, because while I know you extremely well, Iâm not Riley and she pays way more attention than most people.â
âSheâs my best friend, I feel horrible for not seeing these, or even calling her.â
âMaya will try and tell you that she feels bad about doing something, but itâs not her fault, weâve been busy and I realized that I canât always take care of her, but she has you now, so I know sheâs in good hands.â
Maya felt the tears fall down her face, Riley knew her better than anyone, she always knew what to say and it filled her heart with joy.
âSheâs afraid of what the future will bring, but I will always be there for her,â Josh continued as Maya cried next to him. âShe needs this time to grow, and when sheâs ready sheâll come looking for me,â he finished as he pulled her into his arms. âShe cares, kind of reminds me of my mom with how she knows everything.â
âDid she only write that about me?â
âNo, she actually wrote things about my brother, and her mom, and Auggie, somethings about Ava too, she cares about everyone in her own way. I actually got an email one day that was twelve pages long. I think everyone else emails her back except for you, Smackle and Farkle, but she will always tell me things about all three of you for weekends we hang out together.â
âMaybe we can all get together after the last final,â she said smiling at him, the one person who had somehow filled her heart with happiness, while at the same time making sure to remind her that her best friend will always be there.
âI think that would be a good idea, but I also thing that you should read all of the emails she sent you before then, send her one too telling her everything that had happened in the last few months.â
âArt haze,â she said to herself for a moment. Thinking back, she remembered there being several projects that she had been working on. One of which had been a present for Rileyâs birthday which was the same day as the end of the semester. âWho knew that there was such a thing?â
âWell you do get this glassy eyed look whenever you think up a new project,â he said smiling. âI like watching you draw, itâs like watching something amazing as it happens, I canât describe it, but Riley is right about one thing, youâre going to do great things in the future.â
âI just canât fear it,â she said smiling at him. âThereâs something scary about being afraid for the future, even when thereâs so many possibilities about there.â
âThe best thing you can do is believe in yourself and youâll get over that fear,â he said to her before standing up, pulling her up with him. âYouâll always be afraid of something, but as long as there are people around to help you, youâre always going to come out on top.â
He kissed her the moment he finished talking, running his hands through her tangled hair, it felt warm and sweet, and perfect in that moment. âThank you,â she murmured when they separated.
âWell youâve been helping me so much this semester, I figured I owed you a few helping moments.â
âIâll hold you to that,â she smiled at him, she knew this was the person who she would be with for all of her life, and it was weird to know something like that when she was just eighteen. âCome on letâs go save the geniuses.â
âWhat do you mean save them?â he asked as she pulled him along. Just as they reached her hallway, she hard Smackle scream out at Farkle before a pillow was thrown out of the room.
âSmackle, please you need to get some sleep,â Farkle said as Maya and Josh reached the door. âYou will get the answer after a few hours, I promise.â
âNo,â Smackle screamed out, Maya rushed over and started rubbing Smackleâs head, remembering how Mrs. Matthews had been during freshman year of high school. After a few minutes, Smackle had started mumbling to herself, and just as Maya passed her over to Farkle, the other girl had all but passed out in her boyfriendâs arms.
âSee saving,â Maya said with a smile as she settled in her own bed with Josh next to her, pulling out two pairs of headphones so that they could watch a movie as the geniuses slept in the other bed.
#girl meets world#girl meets season 6#maya hart#josh matthews#farkle minkus#isadora smackle#smarkle#joshaya#riley matthews#Riley's words
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Job Application Tips
So as somebody who had to take a class on professionalism, and has been through the job application cycle in my field a couple times I figured I would write down some of the things that I have learned about job applications, professionalism, etc. especially in light of the fact that we are getting jobs in the new age of tech and our parents might not be able to give us accurate advice. So here is a bunch of advice that I wish somebody had given me in high school.Â
Resumes:
Your resume doesnât just need former jobs and work experience. You can and should have:Â
 your education/ degrees
relevant job experience â this can be internships and volunteer positions
relevant organizations and community programs â are you a scout? are you a part of a community outreach group? are you in a band? is there a club in college thatâs important to you? These all show skill or personality traits that look attractive in a candidate
relevant course work â this is especially important for students who may not have a lot of job experience. it lets you show that you know what you are doing
relevant projectsâ yes you can put projects (I didnât know this until last year) Maybe you did an episode of a podcast, or a short film on how DNA unzips, or maybe you mixed and mastered your friendâs album. These really wouldnât count as job experience but they can help you with an application. they show skill and dedication to ones work.
relevant skills â Do you speak another language? Do you know a programming language? Are there any softwares that you know how to use? are you good at public speaking and/or teamwork?
Resumes should only be a page long, so format is really importantâ google drive has a couple of really good layout templates and here is a link to the layout that I use (feel free to use it if you want)
Customize your resume for each job. Different jobs will want different things from you, so you can change up the projects, skills and coursework that you put on each resume (This past year I had visibly different resumes that I used for different positions within the same company)
Make a âMaster Resumeâ with every job and organization, all of your coursework that applies to your field, every big project, and lists of skills. Save it as master resume on you computer, or drive. When you apply for a job, you can make a copy of this and just delete out anything that isnât relevant. Update this often!
Set up a linkedin profile, it allows you to follow companies, connect with other professionals, quick apply for jobs, and acts like a big online resume. Its like a professional facebook without your auntâs comments and minion memes.
If you are in a project based field like me (Audio engineering) such as, art, photography, film, journalism, or music set up an online portfolio of your best work. You can use google sites for free. Put that link on your linked in and on the top of your resume (most are sent in digitally now anyways). Update it whenever you do something new. This lets people actually see/hear your work.Â
DO NOT lie on your resume, they will find out.
Interviews:
Dress nicely for interviews even if they are on Skype or on the phone. (it is always better to be over dressed than under dressed). There is a confidence that comes with wearing a pair of slacks that even extends over the phone.Â
Always wear pants on a Skype interview, they might ask you to write something on the whiteboard behind you with the express reason of seeing if you bothered to wear pants!
If you are presenting as a woman, wear makeup to an interview. Women who wear makeup are more likely to get a job than those who do not (I know its bad right?)
Style your hair professionally, even if it is just a ponytail or bun. Looking polished is especially important if you have an unnatural hair color. (when I had blue hair my go to was to straighten my hair and pull it into a sleek ponytail).
Prep for your interview the night before.Â
This means go over the resume and cover letter that you sent in, and any other application materials, and be ready for any questions about that material that may come your way. You will get asked about why you chose your college, and why you want this job, and what your biggest weakness is. Think of good answers that paint you in a good way or show off your priorities, they want to see that you care.
Look up the company on glassdoor, they will often post interview questions.
Interviewers will often ask you practical skills questions (I get asked about microphones and what I should do if they break).
You will get asked about a time you worked on a team, just paint yourself in a positive light and talk about your skills in a team and what you bring to a group (are you a good communicator, a good leader?)
 be ready for curve ball questions, weird ones that show your personality more than your skill. Here are a few that I have gotten:
If you won the lottery tomorrow what would you do?
 If you were a fruit what kind of fruit would you be and why?
 What is a piece of media that influenced your career path?
 What is your favorite movie/TV show/Band? Why? (The why is a tricky thing)
You might be given a test of practical skill, a problem to solve, a listening quiz or some sort of visual test, itâs to make sure you can actually do what you have told them. Be ready for these things.
Your interviewer will always end the interview by asking you if you have any questions. You should always ask something, it shows interest. If you donât have a real question, here are a few cop-outs that work.
what is the work/social environment here like?Â
What is your favorite part of working here?
What is the typical day of somebody in the position that Iâm applying for?Â
Send thank you notes after interviews!!! I canât emphasize this enough. It shows that you actually cared, and it leaves a positive image of you in the interviewers mind.
Correspondance :
Have a professional signature with your contact info in your emails.Â
Letters of inquiry can be really good if a company doesnât have an online job portalâ there is nothing wrong with direct contact, and some times if you are lucky you will get a direct opportunity to interview.
Follow up! If they donât get back to you in the timeframe that they gave you, write a polite email asking for an update
Some companies will never get back to you (big ones like Universal Studios, and Disney donât have time for everyone, and they are pretty up front about it) donât let it discourage you.
Other stuff:
Professionalism is pretty relative depending on where you work and the most obvious example of this is how you dress. Certain jobs (like the one I have now) will let you get away with jeans and a t-shirt, while others require you to wear a suit. Dress the way that your co workers dress.
That being said, if you are unsure of the difference between business casual and business professional, or just want an idea of how to shop for professional clothes, here is a link to a really good powerpoint about how to dress professionally for work (its like 8 years old so the trends are a little out of style but it is still a solid guide)
Remember to dress practically for your job, this is important especially with shoes, a solid black canvas sneaker can pass for a dress shoe from afarÂ
This is gonna sound bad, but use every connection you have to your advantage. Have somebody you know on the inside put in a good word for you. Ask professors and old coworkers to get you in touch with employers. Take advantage of nepotism (if a family member can help get you a job in your field take advantage of that).
If a job posting asks you to know how to use a software, download the free version and pull an all nighter, I did that with logic and adobe premier.
code academy is a great (free) place to learn some basic coding languages very quickly, and slack exchange has coding practice problems for a bunch of languages â You donât need a formal class to learn a  programming language.
Job postings are often looking for âUnicorn Candidatesâ nobody has all of the qualifications, and if they do, that company probably canât afford them, so apply if you have at least 60% of what they ask for.
In other words donât be afraid of being under qualified, if worst comes to worst you donât get the job.
If you have the ability to accept an unpaid job, DO IT. You will get experience in your field, business connections, and even a few fun stories.
unpaid jobs are often only part time too, so you will have the time to pick up a part time position that does pay you.
another note on unpaid jobs-- if a company is not paying you they technically are not allowed to make you clean or get them coffee, that being said that is how almost 100% internships work. Just make sure you are going to get to do some relevant work and that you are going to be learning something-- if you wanted to be a secretary you could go get a paying position doing that.Â
Donât get discouraged if you donât get the jobs you want. I applied for 27 summer jobs, I got interviews for 10, and an offer from 1. Most of the students in my program applied for upwards of 10 jobs, and not all of us got something.
Feel free to add anything else that you think people should know!
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Rings - Olicity Secret Santa 2017
Dear Carol ( @tdgal1 ),
I wish you a very merry Christmas and I hope this fic will be a nice addition to that for you. I tried to write you a fluffy fake dating soulmate AU, even though Iâve never written a soulmate fic before. At about a thousand words I realized I wasnât even halfway through the story, so hereâs a five thousand word fic for you, I hope you enjoy it :)
Lots of love,
Sietske ( @sweetme86 )
*â*â*â*â*
Title: Rings
Rating: General
Tags: #Olicity #soulmate AU #fake dating #no island #OSS2017
Wordcount: 5087
*â*â*â*â*
Legend said the Mark only appeared when oneâs soul truly recognized its other half. In the seventies this had been reinterpreted to mean that you needed to sleep with your soulmate to make the Mark appear and in some instances, that did work. Of course, it also occasionally happened when people didnât sleep together, but sex was a fun and easy way to connect to someone.
It didnât take long for movements to emerge that protested using sex as a trigger, especially when cases of a true soulmate connection were found less and less. People were pointing fingers at promiscuity being the cause of the diminishing amount of soulmate matches.
The truth of the matter is that no-one knows exactly why soulmate matches are found so few and far between, that finding your one true match has become somewhat of a legend. Oliver Queen used to proclaim loudly and for everyone to hear that âitâs not a crime to try and find my soulmate, is it?â, whenever faced with paparazzi asking him about his very active love life.
The wink and suggestive smile that accompanied a statement like that had Felicity rolling her eyes at her screen. Itâs not like she really kept up with the guy, but as a Queen Consolidated employee she had decided to do some research on the recently re-emerged âheir to the throneâ. A little over a year ago she found herself in Starling City because QC offered her a job far away from her past. Though the playboy billionaire hadnât gone completely unnoticed in her periphery, he also wasnât someone sheâd given a lot of thought.
It was rumoured â though never confirmed â that his parents had been soulmates. After Mr. Queenâs unexpected death, his wife had become somewhat reclusive and Oliver Queen had disappeared from the limelight and most likely from Starling City entirely. His best friend and partner in crime still made the gossip rags occasionally, but he too seemed to have cleaned up his act quite a bit.
A little over a week ago, every local news station was buzzing with the news of Oliver Queenâs return to Starling City and the rumours mostly seemed to revolve around his possible future within Queen Consolidated. Granted, the gossip rags were more interested in the ring on his finger and whether it concealed a Mark or perhaps implied a serious relationship.
Felicity didnât care what the gossip rags were writing, but was interested in his possible involvement in his familyâs company. If Oliver Queen truly was going to play a part in Queen Consolidated, it might have repercussions for her, hence her digging through old news-articles and video of one Oliver Queen.
She had been keeping a low profile at QC, trying not to stand out too much, but doing enough to ensure she got to keep her job. Her boss had always been eager to lick the heels of his bosses, and with Oliver Queen possibly returning her boss might just be looking to set an example of his 'expert leadershipâ.
The whole Cooper fiasco hadnât left her uninterested in coding, but it had been a serious reality check regarding the power of a well-crafted virus. She enjoyed working with computers, helping systems run smoother with a line of code so clever she considered it to be poetry, but she never again wanted what happened with Cooper to happen again.
The ring on her finger was a result of the Cooper-fiasco. She figured if her love for Cooper was able to blind her so much so that she didnât see his true motives, it would be exponentially worse in the event she ever â against the odds â found her soulmate. Soulmate matches happened rarely, but she was rather safe than sorry.
She knew like no other how much a person could change in just a few years, so when she was only able to find evidence of Oliverâs past digressions and next to nothing about his current exploits â or the last five years of his life for that matter, she decided to call it quits. Of course, she could dig a little deeper, but that would require hacking and sheâd mostly given that up after the call that informed her of the fate of her ex-boyfriend a few years ago.
Felicity told herself that it didnât really matter anyway. Sheâd been able to hang on to this job long enough without drawing unwanted attention; as long as she didnât give her boss a reason to really notice her, the appearance of Oliver Queen shouldnât have an impact on her position.
*â*â*â*â*
âFelicity?â
Her head snapped up at the voice that had rapidly become familiar in the last three months. âOliver.â She slowly let go of the tension that had involuntarily lodged itself in her throat when his greeting startled her out of her coding zone.
She had tried so hard to stay under the radar, but apparently Mr. Queenâs hearing was better than sheâd counted on. Her so-called boss had been trying to make himself seem better than he was when Oliver made his rounds through all the departments and Felicity had scoffed at the manâs blatant lies.
She thought she had covered it up well enough by following it up with a bit of a cough, but Mr. Queenâs eyes had found hers with a laser-like focus. He insisted she call him Oliver after that, and for some reason he kept singling her out in every meeting since.
âAnyone ever tell you to start wearing a cowbell or something? Stop sneaking up on me!â She tried to hold on to her glare when she looked at him, but as usual the amusement in his eyes was too contagious and any annoyance melted away like snow landing on not yet frozen ponds.
âI wasnât trying to be sneaky Felicity, your focus on your work is simply stronger than should be humanly possible. Which is why Iâve come down here actually, could you take a look at this?â He handed her a folder and a USB. Why he insisted on paper copies when he could save a tree and stay digital was a mystery she hadnât yet solved.
It was one of the very few mysteries she hadnât really tried solving.
If he stayed digital he wouldnât have a reason to travel down eighteen floors and see her in person, it would be a good idea to convince him to just email her when he wanted her to do something.
He was probably wasting precious time.
He must have better things to do than deliver projects to her personally.
He was being groomed to take over as CEO after all.
So why hadnât she tried to convince him of this yet?
She told herself it was because he was smart enough to figure this out himself. After all, heâd come back from obscurity with an MBA to his name and had managed to convince the board of directors to put a Queen back at the helm of QC, be it on the condition he shadow the current acting CEO âWalter Steele â for a year before taking over.
Before she made the conscious decision to do so, her hand was already plugging the USB drive into the computer. A frown made its way to her face after flipping open the folder in her hands though.
She chanced a look at the man standing in front of her desk, but he was studiously looking at something behind her. Strange, as the only thing behind her was a blank wall. His fingers were rubbing together and if she were a gambler sheâd wager he was, nervous? Sheâd never seen him nervous before.
âAre you sure this is the right folder?â She asked him.
His eyes flitted to her, to the folder and back to her in the span of a second. âMmhm, yes,â He told her before his eyes went back to the apparently riveting image of the wall behind her.
Right.
âThese are what, files on your family?â She was flipping through the pages that each held a portrait picture in the top right corner of the page, followed by basic information she imagined finding on rĂŠsumĂŠs or if your mind went a less innocent direction, perhaps on police files. She recognized his sister, a guy she remembered seeing in a few articles regarding his sister, his mother, and finally Oliver himself.
It didnât happen often that she was lost for words, but she had no idea what to make of this. He had developed a tendency to come to her with more delicate problems in projects he had taken an interest in, but never something with this much personal information.
She noticed him standing stock still at her desk and again not meeting her eyes, before she went back to skimming through the folder.
In addition to simple facts like age and education, there was more personal information provided too. The sheet on his sister contained a few anecdotes seemingly written from the viewpoint of a big brother; the guy on the next sheet was listed as his sisterâs boyfriend of six months; according to the information on his mother, she was someone that put her family before anything else. There wasnât much on Oliver, other than his current activities, a couple movies he liked and some other titbits that seemed more appropriate to talk about if they were on a date.
She closed the folder and tried to catch his eye, âOliver, what-â
âThereâs more detailed information on the USB, but I figured it might be best to just start with the basics.â He had started scuffing the toe of his shoe against the floor, which was odd. His fingers rubbing against each other usually was the only nervous gesture that he didnât seem to be able to contain.
She looked up at him incredulously. âMore detailed information? Oliver, why do I now have dossiers on your closest family?!â She whisper-shouted at him, looking around to make sure they were alone.
âWeâre friends right? I mean, weâre friendly. ThatâŚâ He seemed to be gearing himself up for something, âYeah, you- you tell me things that arenât â you know â always about, well- sometimes we⌠talk? About- Not always about work stuff. And you tell me when Iâm being an idiot. Iâm not sure why but I feel like I can trust you?â He huffed out a laugh as he hung his head.
She expected him to keep talking, but as the silence grew thicker she couldnât help but blurt out, âWas there a question I missed somewhere in that mess or did you suddenly just go mute?â
She scrunched up her face as soon as the sentence escaped her, she wasnât usually this rude. Especially not to him.
âMy sister is too romantic for her own good and has gotten it into her head that I need to start dating again. Sheâs so happy in her own relationship I wouldnât be surprised if sheâs actually delirious because of it.â The words came so fast she had to take a moment to process.
As soon as what he was saying filtered through though, her eyes found the ring on his left hand.
He wasnât entirely wrong, they did sometimes talk about other things than work. Well, she babbled, he listened. They hadnât ever talked about something as personal as their dating lives (or absence thereof). They both wore a ring, but most likely for very different reasons.
âDating?â She shoved down the anxiety his words caused. âI donât mean to pry, but youâre wearing a ring. Why would she try to get you to date?â The question made her chest ache, she didnât want to discuss his ring, or her own for that matter.
He chuckled, âyeah, youâd think wouldnât you. Sheâs been very, enthusiasticabout her own relationship. Shares more than I ever wanted to know about my baby sisters love life. I donât think sheâs ever believed you could fall in love without having found your soulmate, but ever since meeting Roy sheâs over the moon, says the fates just canât keep up with her. She doesnât seem to realise that when she says stuff like that it only makes me call her Speedy more often.â
The soft look that had taken over his awkward fumbling while talking about his sister made her smile at him. âYouâre still wearing a ring though. Canât make it much clearer youâre not interestedâ she said, âAnd it also doesnât explain why you felt the need to give me all sorts of random information about your familyâ.
Oliver wearing a ring wasnât something she really dwelled on. When he had started showing up in her corner of QC more often, she took comfort from it. Wearing a ring had become a way to turn your back on the idea of a soulmate. Traditionally people exchanged rings during a wedding ceremony, some bearing the delicate designs inspired by the Mark that appeared circling the third finger of ones left hand. Some people chose a ring designed wide enough to cover an existing Mark or even to hide the fact there wasnât a Mark there.
She figured she could deal with him worming his way into her life, because they both werenât interested in finding a deeper connection.
âI know,â he replied. âThea knows I donât have a Mark and thinks Iâm only wearing the ring for the public eye. People around here have a hard time letting go of the person I was before I left.
"Sheâs not completely wrong, it is easier to fend off unwanted advances with a ring on my finger, but itâs not the entire story. But I donât really want to talk the entire story through with her.â
He started shuffling his feet again, maybe he would finally explain himself properly. His mouth opened twice without any sound coming out before he groaned and scrubbed his hand over his face. She thought she heard him say âWhy is this so hard?â But couldnât be sure as his hand was still covering part of his face.
âJust spit it out already!â She threw her hands up before sagging back against her office chair.
âCome to the pre-Christmas weekend with me so my sister stops trying to set me up with peopleâ he said, in the same tone of voice he used to ask her help with a project.
She blinked, âWhat.â
âThe pre-Christmas weekend? I told you about it last-â
She cut him off mid explanation, âYeah I remember. And I heard you, all the words came through crystal clear. Itâs just- the words arenât making any sense. You⌠you want me to what, be your girlfriend for your familyâs weekend getaway? Your Christmas getaway, with your, you know, family. As your girlfriendâ
It took him a while to answer, and she had just started hoping she was just having a really elaborate case of word confusion when he said, âYesâ.
*â*â*â*â*
âI still canât believe you wrote me files on your family.â They had been driving for a little over an hour and the view had become limited because of the trees on either side of the road.
He answered without hesitation, âYou are always very thorough in any research I ask you to do. You come well prepared to meetings and youâre usually two steps ahead of everybody else. I figured I should do the same if I had any chance of convincing you to go along with this ridiculous plan.â He took his eyes off the road for a second to smile at her.
There was a tug in her belly as their eyes connected and she studiously ignored it, opting to keep her focus on the foliage around her instead. The sunlight filtering through the leaves left the air around the car tinted in a faint green. There were spots of snow on the ground between the trees, and any sunlight that made it that far created sparkles in the snow.
The world was beautiful out here.
*â*â*â*â*
She wasnât entirely sure why she had agreed to this. Butterflies were wreaking havoc inside her from the moment the car slowed down- they had arrived.
The cabin âpalace, she corrected herself- was gorgeous, the combination of wood, rock and enormous windows took her breath away. She felt a hand settle in the small of her back and looked up to see Oliver had already put their luggage on the wrap-around porch and had come back to the car, where she was still standing, gaping at the most luxurious mountain cabin sheâd ever seen. Her nose and cheeks were tingling and she was pretty sure the cold had turned her normally fair skin red.
âCome on, letâs get you inside. Thea and mom are already here, Iâll introduce you.â
He smiled at her slightly panicked face, âThey donât bite you knowâ.
At least the nerves of meeting his mom and sister made it easier to ignore the tugging in her belly for now. âI know! Well not know know, because Iâve never met them, but Iâm assuming. Most civilized people donât bite. As far as I know.â
She threw him a desperate look, âDonât let me babble when I meet them, theyâll never stop setting you up with people if they think Iâm a crazy person!â
His responding chuckle calmed her down and made her feel a little less cold while they made their way to the 'cabinâ.
*â*â*â*â*
âOllie!â His sister almost knocked him over in her enthusiasm, âand you brought a friend? I didnât think you were being serious!â She winked at him before looking Felicity up and down.
âDonât be rude Speedy. This is Felicity, I would appreciate it if you could act like a normal human being- donât want to scare her away now do you?â He teased before turning to Felicity again. âFelicity, meet Thea, my sister and bane of my existence.â
She pressed her lips tight together, but her eyes betrayed her mirth, âNice to meet you Thea,â she said as she extended her arm, âOliverâs told me so much about you.â
Thea ignored her gesture, instead going in for a hug, âIâm not as bad as heâd like you to believe, promise,â She whispered before bouncing back on her heels. âMom went for a walk, but said to tell you to get settled in the blue room, sheâs had it made up for you two.â Already walking further into the house, she said over her shoulder, âDinnerâs at seven, donât make me sit through it by myself!â
*â*â*â*â*
The next morning after breakfast, Oliver took her on a tour of the cabin. He had a story for pretty much every corner they turned, and none of them were really about the cabin itself.
Everything he talked about was linked to Thea, or his best friend Tommy, âYou see this nick right here?â He pointed to a scratch in the woodwork next to yet another bedroom, âThea was running after me and Tommy again, but instead of letting her catch us, we kept dodging her. This is where Tommy dodged right into a side table with this huge vase on top. He managed to catch the vase, but the corner of the table dug its way into the wall.â
There was a smile on his face sheâd seen a lot since they made it to the cabin, and it tugged on something deep inside her every time without fail. If sheâd known this would happen she might not have come. It wasnât supposed to happen, this was never supposed to happen. He was a friend, nothing more. The only reason she was here was because he didnât want a- she cut that thought off before it could fully form. 'Getting a bit ahead of yourself there, arenât you Smoakâ, she berated herself. He wore a ring for a reason, hell, she wore a ring for a reason.
Unaware of her inner turmoil, Oliver continued, âItâs a miracle he managed to hold on to the vase, because Thea barrelled right into him as soon as he stopped running.â He looked at her and the smile slipped off his face.
âAre you okay Felicity?â He asked, concern lacing his voice.
âYeah, sorry, I spaced for a second there,â she forced a smile back on her face, âyouâve got a lot of history here, itâs a shame you donât get to share it with someone special.â The minute the words left her mouth, her heart skipped a beat. Why would she even go there?
She mentally cursed her wayward thoughts, making their way into the real world without her permission. They hadnât really delved deep into their histories, but they covered the basics before coming here- neither of them wanted a romantic relationship. She just wasnât sure that was completely true anymore.
She sighed, releasing a deep breath, âSorry, my brainâs a bit scrambled. I didnât sleep very well, strange environment and all that. Ugh,â she put her hand to her head as she scrunched up her nose as she continued, âhere I am, complaining of a lack of sleep when you were bent like a pretzel all night, your back must be killing youâ.
âTMI guys, T. M. I.â Thea said as she walked towards them, âI was coming to get you for hot chocolate, but Iâm gonna look for something to wash my imagination away first.â She started backing away the way sheâd come. Right before she was out of sight again, she said, âTell me, whatâs the best way to get rid of mental images? Bleach or vinegar?â
Felicity leaned into Oliverâs shoulder to smother the giggle that escaped her, even as her cheeks flamed a deep red. Oliver pulled her into a hug, as though they had been used to physical contact for years instead of days.
âCome on,â he said, âletâs find that hot chocolateâ. His hands slid from their place around her, down her arms until he was holding her hands in his. They started walking, following Theaâs footsteps towards the kitchen.
She didnât notice they were still holding hands until they were in the kitchen and he had to let go to pull her seat out for her.
*â*â*â*â*
Dinner that night had been strange. Would have been strange even without Theaâs not so subtle digs about pretzels and other bendy snacks. Sheâd hoped sitting across the table from Oliver would give her a little respite, because all day theyâd been in contact in some way or other and it was messing with her head.
It was like they were magnetized and with every movement or turn their fingers would brush, or his hand found its way to the small of her back or to her shoulder. Walking around in the snow outside had been nice too, but she had to hold on to his arm because her boots didnât have enough grip on the icy paths around the cabin. She just didnât want to fall on her face!
All that contact had only led to more frustration though, because it wasnât just her. If it was, she couldâve easily pushed it down, ignored the pull. But he felt it too, she was sure of it.
So she sat across from him, instead of next to him. Heâd been giving her strange looks during dinner though, and as soon as dessert had been finished he claimed the mountain-air had wiped him out and went up to their room. Instead of joining him, like the pull inside her told her to, she curled up on the couch near the fireplace, staring at the fire.
The warmth from the fire and the excitement of the dayâs events had her almost nodding off right then and there, if it werenât for Thea joining her. The younger girl was uncharacteristically quiet, perhaps picking up on the strange tension between her and Oliver. They were sitting in silence next to each other for a while, before Thea was carefully choosing her words.
âHeâs been avoiding relationships since his first girlfriend dumped him, thatâs not a new thing.â
She pauses, like sheâs not entirely sure how much she wants to share, âShe got angry because her Mark didnât appear after they slept together.â Theaâs twisting her fingers together in her lap and doesnât look up at Felicity.
Curious as to where sheâs going with this, Felicity looks at her but stays quiet, letting Thea search for words, âWith dad dying and everything that came to light with it, he didnât want anything to do with romantic relationships. When he came back home with that ring on his finger, I really thought for a second heâd found someone, that he wasnât so lonely anymore. But heâd only closed himself off more, itâs like he didnât come back at all.â
Thea looks up at Felicity then, big wide eyes with so much innocence and hope. She looks so much younger than she had all weekend, âA few weeks ago he started to change, mentioned this blonde genius every now and then.
"Iâm glad he has you now, I think heâs finally coming back home.â Completely unaware of how much she rattled Felicity, she gives her a quick hug, whispers âgoodnightâ and leaves Felicity sitting on the couch.
*â*â*â*â*
By the time she gets to their bedroom, Oliver is already asleep on the couch. Sheâd told him the bed was big enough for two friends to share, but heâd insisted. She stands there for a second, taking in the silhouette of his slowly rising and falling chest, before pulling herself away to get ready for bed.
Sheâs staring at the ceiling for what feels like forever, letting her mind play through every interaction she had with Oliver over the past few days. Sheâs pretty sure what sheâs feeling isnât one sided, but Oliver hasnât given her any indication he wants to do something about it. In fact, he seems to have been pulling away ever since dinner.
Even if he was interested in more, he wasnât the only one with a history that influenced the way he saw romance. She wasnât wearing her ring for style. Letting someone in terrified her, so why was she even trying to analyse every look and touch Oliver gave her? She rolled over and groaned into her pillow, before remembering she wasnât alone in the room.
On the outside she froze up, but her heartbeat thundered in her ears, not allowing her to listen for changes in Oliverâs breathing. She didnât know how long sheâd been laying there, willing her heartbeat to calm down so she could hear any other sounds in the room, but while she was waiting she finally managed to drift off to sleep.
*â*â*â*â*
Felicity woke to the sound of Oliver brushing his teeth in the connecting bathroom. She was still groggy from sleep as she padded her way over in her sleep-shorts and t-shirt. Her hair was a tangled mess and she was rubbing the sleep from her eyes when she entered the bathroom. âMorningâ she said around a yawn, before grabbing her own toothbrush.
He looked at her with a soft look in his eyes that was in direct contrast to the way heâd been looking at her last night. He probably hadnât been awake for long either, as he was still in the sweatpants and shirt he was using as pajamas. He spit and rinsed before replying with a quiet âgood morningâ.
There wasnât a lot of room for him to pass her on his way out, and she felt the heat of his body on her back when he paused right behind her, rested his hand on her hip and pressed a kiss to her temple. He continued on as if this wasnât out of the ordinary at all, until he was back in the bedroom. Felicity blinked hard, wondering if perhaps she hadnât woken up at all yet. On autopilot she rinsed out her mouth and dried her hands. A pinch to her arm convinced her that no, she wasnât still sleeping.
In a daze she walked out of the bathroom, only to walk right into Oliver. He looked at her like a deer caught in the headlights.
So she wasnât crazy for being confused.
They stood there for what felt like an eternity, just staring at each other, until Oliver finally breaks the silence, âYou werenât- This wasnât- God Felicity, I didnât bring you here for this, I swear.â
He swallows. Her hands are in his- how did that happen? He folds their hands together before putting them flat against his chest.
She can feel his heartbeat against her hands, as the heat of his skin slowly seeps through his shirt and into the palms of her hands. Her own heart picks up speed and that weird tugging feeling sheâd started experiencing the last two days comes back in full force. It almost physically makes her take a step closer to him, but sheâs already standing as close to him as one person can stand to another without being pressed together entirely.
Thereâs an instinct telling her exactly where this is headed, and though sheâs been so afraid of it for so long, right here right now, with Oliver so close, she feels safe. Safer and more at ease than sheâs felt in a really long time.
She looks up and heâs right there, looking back at her. Thereâs so much tenderness in his eyes, but she can see badly concealed fear lurking in the shadows. The kind of fear that is only present when faced with hope you thought was crushed long ago.
They might have very different reasons to fear love, avoid the possibility even, but the essence of it is the same. They see each other for who they are. And just like that, she knows itâs okay to be scared, sheâs just not going to let it hold her back anymore.
She lifts her face up as he leans towards her, his hand sliding over her shoulder to the back of her neck, fingers tangling in her hair. She canât help the giddy smile that takes over her lips right before they connect to his.
Neither of them notices the appearance of the beautifully detailed matched markings, wrapping around the ring-fingers of the hands still entwined between them.
*â*â*â*â*
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Outsourcing IT MAY 2, 2017|IN BUSINESS, SOLUTIONS|BY TYLER GARRETT The Outsourcing IT Bubble Are you looking to do some Outsourcing of your IT? Outsourcing IT or technology services can be a mixture of great and sour. Delegating work to experts is the key to rapidly expanding, avoiding pitfalls, less bean counting in the future, and overall time savings. The money equation comes into play when you have no earthly idea how to do the work. Outsourcing Examples If you were not the most proficient with a weed wacker, you might ask little Jimmy down the road to assist. Well, the technology works the same way, except in the digital age, you can remote into anyoneâs office digitally. This generates a huge gap for anyone saying anything. Studying Outsourcing Trends and Fads We did a silly study after spotting a few outsourced teams were changing the amount they told us they had as team mates. contacted the same teams with different emails. Found ten teams around the world, and 9 of them turned out to be 9 individuals, not groups. Another trend is very savvy sales people finding out they can outsource work for marginal prices out of the country. They have never worked a single technical project, and are landing customers with real world needs. The real dealer of shadow IT are unqualified professionals buying or selling these outsourced services. Shadow IT is that topic every one is discussing the effect, but never the causes! Outsourcing risk factors Being Tableau consultants we understand outsourcing risk factors. We are the consultancy they call when other consultancies crap out a proof of concept without documenting. The risk factor is outsourcing teams are not all created equal and there is no agency checking other BI firms. What if the outsourcing team doesnât document? Welcome to my favorite clients. Padded by inexperienced solutions without a single document, and because of that have been paying their shadow IT team to keep things barely running. Premium charges coming from individuals that could ave documented but instead built a gate keeping role, welcome shadow IT. I was recently asked on a meeting with a 300million annual run rate custome. Their lead DBA challenged me when I said we needed to document more. The DBA got upset because I the problems kept rolling back to zero documentation. He got flustered and said, âDo you document everything?â My response was simple, âOnly if I want others to be able to use it again.â Outsourcing risk is hidden risk Customers never hear about this risk factor, they never hear about the entire consultancy has never taken a single day of any programming or data courses, and have never worked in a single production environment. So, they have never implemented anything advanced. This can be a dangerous deal for unknowing business owners, and thatâs a business opportunity for these new companies. From a digital perspective, itâs just easier to paste logos, make fake testimonials, and do all of that without ever implementing any technology. Outsourcing to unskilled project managers If you sell a services engagement and place a consultant, you are not automatically a wizard of agile methodology. The customer sends you money, and the work begins. This does not teleport you to the future of 8 years of project management experience. Rather youâre a sales person who sold a widget that you donât understand. You might get things to work today, you might find an outsourced person for $8/hr, but you will never know if that outsourced team is real or fake. You canât know if an outsourced team is genuine or fake unless you yourself know the technology. So how do people outsource if they canât determine if they team is real? One thing you learn from consulting for years is that things break and expectations are always set incorrectly by people without any technical project or data experience. Clients are quickly put in dangerous situations when the quality levels of the efforts are misbalanced too. Imagine your sales person is great but your outsourced person has 8 times more experience. That sales person is going to look like the biggest waste of time and money, and often times in typical enterprise engagements, clients will ask for their money back if they feel like they were duped. Outsourcing generates a massive risk when seeing companies produced without a single onshore expert, and corporations legitimately collapse under the burden of spending thousands and thousands on unskilled and untrained hands. Also, after meeting client after client and seeing what happens when customers are duped for decades. It seemed apparent someone needed to start looking for that transparency or calling them out for being scam artists. Outsourcing turned into a fun data project Here at Dev3lop we live and die by data, thatâs why we have been taking time off to study and learn more about new digital trends. I know thatâs absolutely crazy, a consultancy that takes time off to train and research. What we noticed is we can have as many clients and customers as we could ever dream of, and itâs all relatively easy just requires a lot of intelligent clicks and strategies. So, like any rational business owner, we wanted to start outsourcing to teams and take on more clients. I like money, who would say no to more money! We said no to outsourcing to fake teams Fake Teams are generated by pre-sales or sales people, who have not done any of the advanced work before, and have no idea what happens when one of these things break. What you learn from consulting and programming is that things evolve and need extra attention. When your dashboard or website works today, what happens when it needs updates, what happens when that salesperson on the phone isnât able to follow through? How to fact check outsourced teams Ask for a picture, resumes, and to speak with the teammates and this is where the first rule of fight club pops up. Never talk about whoâs on the team, thatâs against our company blah blah blah. Scam. When you want to determine if the outsourced team is real or not, ask for details. Personally, I found ten different teams from all around the globe and started asking them a lot of questions. Issues that were documented and the data just doesnât match up. Every team has the same offer, $8/hr and you pay up front for the month. When asked technical scoping questions, easy questions we know the answer to, outsourced teams always added 10-15days padding on to their estimates. Leading us to determine a few things because websites are getting easier to build, and now authentic companies are starting to come up in the ranks and telling the story of the clients. Ready for the Outsourcing Bubble Burst â Scam Alert Iâm writing this article as more of a public service announcement, to anyone looking to outsource their work to companies online. After seeing what an âoutsourced SEOâ shop, with decorated logos and a beautiful website, did to our clientâs website. We started doing research on this mythical $8/hr full stack developer. Companies taking a subscription for increased rank, dashboards, and consultancies with decorated logos, and not a single person in the business with a technical background. Something is fishy about this and especially fishy when they can take on an unlimited amount of customers, and only say they have a team. Outsourcing organizations pretend to be female Oh, so you havenât noticed every single support chat or pre-sales email isnât from a female? Thatâs the biggest web life hack of them all. They find a stock image of a woman, and crop it down, give her a name and now you have your first employee. Fake Outsourcing Teams in a Distant Country They are in a distant country because itâs easier for them to scam you. Thatâs 90% of whatâs happening currently and big business is only getting away with using outsourced teams because they hire exceptionally gifted architects to interview, train, and manage their work 100% of the time. That logic can be used to determine if your consultancy is worth a damn. Instead of letting them run off and work on it, ask them to work on it, in front of you, on a screen share web cast. Did they just tell you they canât do that? Thatâs likely because they are scamming you and itâs just one person managing lots and lots of accounts. The Outsourcing Rabbit Hole The rabbit hole leads you to a single person who lives in India, Malasia, or some distant country that removes any chance of getting your money back. There is no number to call, your lawyer will not be flying to Serbia to serve someone papers over $1000 WordPress website, and outside of emailing them to escalate, they are just one click from blocking you and taking your money. Outsourced Rabbits tell you they have a huge team of professionals Outsourced teams are saying they have a team of 100, 50, 30, and always with a plus sign on it. Thatâs because they want to simulate a team to ensure anyone untechnical or not in the know will only jump at the idea of spending $1000 a month for a full stack developer. Remember big business use, outsourced teams, because they manage their work and none of them are paying $8/hr. Thatâs a scam. What is the scam behind outsourcing? There are zero checks and balances when it comes to outsourced teams. They offer you a rate that is so low itâs silly not to send them money. When you have one customer paying you $1000 a monthly, the $8/hr is not manageable. This is why they pad everything with 10-15days of extra waiting and charge people insanely cheap rates, these rates are low because they are going to bill you and not work. What do you mean my outsourced team isnât working? Are you telling them to clock in and out every day? That means they are doing the very least to earn those $8/hr. Especially if they live in a country that is 1000 miles away and in a single click they can erase you from their inbox, and block you for good. The scam is simple; they say they have a manageable amount of people.
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Work In Progress
Summary: Stiles is assigned as editor for the well-known erotica author Derek Hale.
Notes: Written for @dearnearlydemented, who wanted #12 from this list. I hope you like it! (Also, I have no idea what an editorâs job is really like, so please go with me on this one.) (On AO3)
âCome on, Derek,â Stiles says into the phone, just a little cajoling. âI need that chapter by tomorrow, but Iâm betting you have it done now, and youâre just holding out on me.â
âWell,â Derek says hesitantly, and Stiles grins. Bingo. âIt is done, but itâs not, um, my usual style.â
âI donât actually know your usual style, so thatâs not going be a problem for me. I just want to make sure itâs good, Derek. Is it good?â he asks, amused.
Heâd only joined Lit-erotica a few months ago, so he hadnât really had the chance to read any of Derekâs catalog. The fact that theyâd seemed like the typical heterosexual romances that pervaded the genre hadnât exactly encouraged him. But this time, Derek appeared to be trying something new. Something that was definitely not a hetero romance.
Derek was a popular enough author that the publisher, which put out numerous genres of erotica anyway, was fully behind it. And from what Stiles had seen so far, they were fully justified. Derek was a great writer, and quite fast one, too.
Which was a bit odd, because when heâd been assigned to Derek on his first day of work, Allison, one of the other editors, had winced and said, âGood luck, I think heâs blocked.â
That had, of course, been a concern to Stiles. But not even a week after their initial face-to-face meeting, Derek had already sent him a first chapter.
Stiles had set some loose deadlines for when he wanted the next sections, and Derek had kept apace, sometimes even sending Stiles his work well ahead of schedule.
Until now.
âI think so,â Derek says slowly, interrupting Stilesâ thoughts. âI just wanted to give it another once-over before I sent it.â
âYou know thatâs my job,â Stiles jokes. âLet me take a crack at it.â
âI just need to make sure itâs notââ Derek abruptly cuts himself off. âYouâll get it by tomorrow morning at the latest.â
Derek sounds gruff, which means heâs feeling edgy about something, so Stiles lets it go. He likes Derek too much to rile him up, especially when itâs really not that big of a deal. If heâs maybe feeling a little insecure about his work, then Stiles perfectly fine with giving him a little more time.
Heâd found Derek a little hard to read, at first, but after working with him for a few months, Stiles feels like heâs getting the hang of it. And heâd also gotten Derek to really, actually smile the last few times theyâd met in person, so he knows heâs making progress.
âIâm looking forward to it,â he says cheerfully, then hangs up.
He finishes printing out the stack of pages he wants to proof, then pops into his bossâs office to let him know heâll be working from home tomorrow. (He likes having peace and quiet for reading Derekâs new chaptersâand they sometimes make him laugh or blush, so doing it at home saves on embarrassment.)
âSure,â his boss says, eyeing the sheaf of papers in Stilesâ arms. âYouâve gotten twice the amount of writing out of him as the last two editors combined, and in half the time.â He shrugs. âSo whatever it is youâre doing, keep doing it.â
Stiles blinks in surprise at that, but just says thanks and makes his exit.
 *
 Stiles checks his email after breakfast, and finds that Derek has kept his promise. The next chapter is waiting, and Stiles eagerly carries his laptop into the living room, sprawling out on the couch so he can read it comfortably.
Heâs been enjoying the development of Derekâs new book, which features a bisexual guy struggling with his sexuality. Heâs only ever dated girls before, so when he meets a cute guy at work, heâs not really sure what to do. Stiles had followed raptly as the guy, Darren, had gradually worked up the nerve to talk to, flirt with, and then eventually ask out, his co-worker Stewart.
The story has been so compelling to Stiles, who relates to a lot of it, that he sometimes he had to remind himself to actually edit, rather than just read through it again.
Heâs enjoyed the cute (and sometimes awkward) dates theyâve been on, the shy kisses that become more and more bold. And this, Stiles realizes about half a page in, is the chapter where they finally have sex for the first time.
Stiles has read a lot of erotica in his life, both for work and for fun, but none of it has ever affected him like this.
By the third page, he realizes that heâs achingly hard. Â The way theyâre touching and licking and kissing each other has Stiles biting his lip, riveted as he reads on. The slow climb through arousal and foreplay, followed by the smooth, intense transition into both of them seeking and eventually finding their orgasms, leaves Stiles almost desperate to come.
Heâs never known anyone to be able to write a sex scene with such detail, without it feeling clunky or overly meticulous. Instead itâs free and flowing, and really, really hot.
He scrolls back up to the beginning, and begins to reread it as he shoves his hand down into his sweats, slowly stroking his cock. Feeling his own pleasure as he reads about theirs only heightens Stilesâ connection to the characters, and there are times he has to lift his hand away, because heâs gotten too close.
He manages to hold off until Darrenâs orgasm, and then he comes so hard he nearly bucks the laptop off of his thighs. He works himself through the aftershocks as his eyes flutter shut, letting the images of Stewart and Darren play out in his head.
And only feels a little guilty when they end up looking a lot like himself and Derek.
He eventually drags himself off the couch and cleans up, then has to wait another thirty minutes before he feels composed enough to talk to Derek. If he didnât, he knows his traitorous mouth would say something like, âHey, just jerked off to your smut, it was great!â
And that would just be painfully awkward.
(Though, in Stilesâ opinion, it would also be a compliment.)
So when Derek answers the phone, in an attempt to avoid disaster, Stiles quickly says, âJust read that chapter you sent me, it was amazing! I donât know why you were so worried.â Then he clamps his mouth shut before he can start rambling.
âIâreally?â Derek says, sounding uncertain. âYou didnât think it was tooââ He cuts off then, with abrupt finality.
Stiles waits for a second, just in case, but Derek doesnât say anything more. âI thought it was great, Derek. Seriously, some of the best work Iâve ever read,â he says reassuringly.
âThanks,â Derek says gruffly. Stiles knows heâs not good at taking compliments. âIâm going to, um, get back to work.â
âSure,â Stiles says easily. âI donât think this chapter will need much editing, but Iâm going to look over it a couple of times, just to be sure. And remember that I want the next chapter by the fifteenth, okay?â
Derek grunts in affirmation, then hangs up.
Stiles puts his phone down, and cheerfully decides he better eat lunch before he goes back to editing.
Sometimes his job can be really fun.
 *
 Derek calls Stiles a few days later.
âHey, whatâs up?â Stiles asks, clicking though his emails. âEverything going okay?â
âIâm notâcan you come over?â Derek asks, sounding tired.
âSure,â Stiles says. Sometimes, when Derekâs stuck on a plot point, or getting too hung up on details, Stiles will go to his house and talk things through with him. Stiles enjoys it a lot, though admittedly in a less than professional capacity. He just likes spending time with Derek. âRight now?â
âUm, if you want,â Derek mumbles. âItâs not an emergency or anything.â
âOkay,â Stiles says, already logging off of his computer. âIâll be there in ten minutes.â
âThanks,â Derek says.
He doesnât exactly sound relieved, though, not like he usually does when Stiles offers to come over.
He mulls that over through the whole drive, wondering whatâs going on. He hopes Derek isnât having second thoughts and planning to scrap the story.
Derek lets him inside, and immediately shoves a few printer pages into his hands. Stiles has a moment of fear, thinking it might be a competitor contract, or maybe a scathing review of one of Derekâs other books, but after he gets through the first sentence he realizes itâs part of the next chapter.
He absentmindedly sits down on Derekâs couch to read through it, barely noticing when Derek sits in the armchair across from him.
He looks up when heâs done, smiling. âDerek, this is really good.â And it is, though it did end a bit abruptly. âAre you stuck here?â he asks, holding up the last page.
âNo, I just couldnât write anymore, because I feltâI need to apologize to you,â Derek gets out, stumbling over his words.
Stiles sets the pages down on the cushion next to him, giving Derek his full attention. âApologize for what?â he asks curiously.
âIâbefore you were assigned to be my editor, I was blocked. I couldnât write anything decent. But then we met up, and we talked, and IâI went home and I wrote a little scene where I asked you out, because I was too afraid to do that in real life. And the story just sort of spiraled out from there, and so I changed the names and kept writing. When I sent you that first chapter, I was so afraid you were going to call me and demand to know why you were in my book,â Derek says in a rush.
Stiles stares at him, disbelieving. âIâm your inspiration for writing this? Me, your dorky editor?â Judging by the way Derekâs cheeks are flushing, itâs really true. âThen, if youâre Darren, are youâŚstruggling with being bi?â
âYou make it sound like itâs a burden,â Derek says, cracking a smile. âItâs just that Iâve never dated a guy, and I didnât really know what to do when I realized how much I liked you. So I thought it might help to write about it,â he says, shrugging. âBut I was afraid it would make you uncomfortable when you found out, so.â
âI had noticed some similarities between myself and Stewart, but I mostly thought that was wishful thinking,â Stiles says, laughing. âIâm honestly really flattered that you found me that inspiring. And Iâve had a crush on you since, like, day one,â he adds, catching Derekâs surprised look. âI definitely wouldnât mind if you asked me out.â
Derek smiles a little. âEven if Iâm really bad at it?â
âYou could ask me on the most random date ever, and I still wouldnât hesitate,â he says, grinning back.
âOkay,â Derek says. âDo you want to go sketch trees in the park?â
Stiles snorts out a laugh. âNot exactly what I had in mind, but Iâll go for it,â he says cheerfully. âAnd maybe afterward, you can tell me about how you wrote an epic sex scene with me in mind.â
To his surprise, it doesnât fluster Derek at all.
âYeah,â he says, smirking. âAnd maybe you can help me plan out the next one.â
Derek doesnât stop laughing at Stilesâ shocked-aroused expression for ten whole minutes.
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Ok:
Luna, youâre the best. Youâre smart, youâre talented, youâre dedicated, youâre creative and caring, a wonderful listener, so much fun to debate with, and the best friend anyone could ever ask for. Iâm so grateful for everything youâve helped me with ever since we started talking; I respect your resolve. Youâre unique and amazing, and Iâm so, so sorry this is happening to you.
I wonât go into detail because itâs a complicated story thatâs also way too long, but Iâve sort of felt that way before too (thinking it might be better if I just disappeared/wishing I didnât exist/feeling worthless). It sucks.
I donât know if thisâll help, but just know that Iâm always here to listen if you need it. You can Email me (though I guess thatâs probably not an option lol) or just, like, I donât know, maybe post something on the blog like âEvans can we talkâ and Iâll definitely see it and respond because I stalk this place 24/7 (Evans is a creep please donât encourage her). Iâve also been considering finally getting a tumblr so maybe weâll be able to PM each other sometime.
Thereâs absolutely nothing to apologize for. Itâs really brave to talk about stuff like this (I never can). And if thereâs any way I can help, please, let me know.
 (Also, funny story (itâs actually gross and is basically just Evans whining about stuff):
I know from experience that stomach-related sicknesses suck. When I first started taking swimming lessons I was an idiot with zero stamina who could barely swim halfway across the pool without coming up for air, so needless to say, I ended up gulping a ton of water (especially since my teacher didnât go easy on me; mom told her not to because Iâm a sloth and I usually wonât do any exercise on my own besides simple stretches and some walking/running). I mean, the water in swimming pools is usually a bit disgusting, and itâs even worse where I take lessons because itâs a pretty old place and I donât think it gets cleaned that often⌠so not only did accidentally swallowing it trigger my clean-freak senses, I also ended up with a terrible stomachache. I thought it was fine, that it would pass. But then I got a fever and every other thing I ate made me feel like someone was twisting my intestines from the inside, I couldnât even lie down and rest for a sec because whenever I moved or tried to change positions it got even worse ;p; (also my mom never let it go, she kept jokingly 'remindingâ me that water from a swimming pool is not something you should drink after I started swimming again. I guess I kinda deserved it, though. I was an idiot))
That sounds so lovely <3 Iâd really love to go visit Norway myself sometime, though Iâll probably have to wait a few years (my mom has back problems that make it painful for her to stay in one position for too long, so long plane/car rides are a huge no). And oooh if you have any good pictures Iâd love to see them :D
Thanks, Iâm glad I managed to explain my shipping reasons (like itâs so hard to properly talk about why I ship stuff sometimes XD)! I would give anything to have you join me in Stoki hell so let me just recommend basically the entire Remember This Cold series (itâs angsty as heck so proceed with cautionâŚthere are bits of humor and fluff in there, though, and then some extremely rare (almost) pure fluff fics. Like the one where Steve wants to propose but is a nervous bean because Lokiâs a PRINCE and he wants to make it perfect). Iâll also try to find some more good fics later becase I canât remember any titles right now ^^;;
YES ANOTHER T'CHALLA FAN I adore this guy (also I feel like he has a really cool voice. Not really sure why, it just sounds so nice). I really respect him for his attitude towards Steve and Bucky after he figures out Buckyâs not the real murderer, and how he later stops letting his anger towards his fatherâs killer consume him.
Weâll fangirl over the Black Panther movie together when it comes out, wonât we *schwing*
(right after I wrote 'schwingâ I got this mental image of Hisoka having his glowing, expolsive schwing moments after seeing T'Challa. And then Hisoka schwinging in theater while watching MCU movie fight scenes. Why am I like this)
I can draw, but I donât know how to animate so these memes will never be a thing ;-; itâs so sad, Iâve got everything planned outâŚeverytime eyes are mentioned the screen zooms in on Illumiâs eyes (yes even when Illumiâs not in the song because heâs a Zoldyck assassin, you canât keep him out) and the word 'eyesâ gets the weird treatment where all these high/low/metallic(?) voices get layered so it sounds like the creepiest thing ever
('History has its eyes on you but itâs actually Illumiâ is both the animatic I want to see the most and the animatic I hope will never be created)
Fun HxH facts I want to let you know about:
Kite (AKA Gingâs student and Gonâs big brother figure) is dead and has been brainwashed into being a weapon/punching bag for his captors. When sunshine angel Gon meets the new Kite he lets Kite beat him up and then hugs him, promising to save him (THE FEEEEEEELSS)
Forgot to mention this about Chrollo, but when Kurapika killed one of his troupe (a guy named Uvogin), Chrollo acted all cool and never really talked about UvoâŚ
but then he had the rest of the troupe murder 2000 mafiosi guarding a building they were trying to get into, and while watching the chaos from afar, listening to their enemyâs screams, he started waving his hands as if conducting an orchestraâŚ
âUvogin-san. Can you hear it? This requiem weâre dedicating to you.â
(jeez Chrollo we know youâre extra but you canât just murder 2000 people and play a funeral march with their cries of horror every time you lose a subordinate)
Lastly: Thereâs a new character named Knuckle whoâs like the HxH version of Metal Bat. He is the sweetest cinnamon roll. I love him. Iâll send you a pic later
So um did you hear the news about Hinami
(Queen Luna cosplaying Maka(? or any of the other three MCs)âŚomg that sounds so awesome)
*facepalm* ok WHOOPS I actually read about that on the SE wiki a while ago. How did I forget about it
Yep! It was so good <33 (Lizzy looks so graceful and pretty I canât even) I actually found the whole movie on YT but just watched the parts I was really looking forward to seeing animated, like UTâs fight scene, Seb getting stabbed, the rest of the Midford familyâŚ(Francisâ hair shocked me. Idk how to feel about it. At first I thought it made her look like an old lady, but then, the more I look at it, the prettier it getsâŚlike, itâs actually a really nice design, but I guess I got too used to manga!Francis lol)
Light is the trash GOD.
(hope you get to read the light novel! As far as I know itâs got a TON of L and Naomi in it so it might make you feel better :D)
Oh yeah, I get what you mean. Lightâs reasoning/views on the justice system probably connects a lot to the culture and social issues of Japan at the time.
DNâs probably still one of the easier-to-adapt mangas out there, though, since the themes of justice and questioning the idea of 'greater goodâ is something anyone can relate to (and they still botched it, Iâm very salty about this and you canât stop me ;-; even with how terrible Ryuk and Rem looked in them, the Japanese movies were WAY better, and itâs actually pretty rare that Japan makes a good live-action movie from a manga or anime. Apparently the TG movie that came out this year was pretty good too, though :D).
(I apparently somehow accidentally erased the part where I mentioned I actually read HCs/theories about Japanese-American Light on tumblr somewhereâŚ.thatâs what got me thinking about it.
I agree though, seeing how different cultures would change Lightâs character would be very interesting.)
The lack of potato chips doomed the entire Keikaku from the start.
I can see you being similar to Pearl too! I think Iâm maybe a bit like LapisâŚor possibly Connie. Or maybe Blue Diamond because I also cry way too much (but then again BD actually has a reason to be miserable so)
Those are both cool gems<3 and yeah, theyâre both really pretty :D
I was talking about gem 'rolesâ back on Homeworld, though ^^;; like, how Pearls are considered servants or pretty accessories, Diamonds are leaders, fusions like Garnet are outcasts, Rubies are 'dumb muscleâ, Sapphires are valuable prophets, Peridots are tech experts, Jaspers are soldiersâŚsorry, I shouldâve been more specific OTL
Iâd probably be a Pearl lol. I could see myself being a Peridot and being scared to death without a Quartz soldier to guard me but Iâm not good with any kind of technology so nah.
And sorry for asking weird questions, I forgot itâs been a while since you watched the show ^^;;
Hey, donât feel bad about slow replies! Like I said before, I seriously donât mind as long as youâre ok :D and Iâm so glad Iâve managed to help.
('a friend I appreciateâ *ugly sobbing* thank you)
Did someone say suffering?
*'Remember That We Sufferedâ plays in the background*
DID THE QUEEN JUST SAY 'Goalsâ ABOUT SOMETHING I MADE OMG IâM FREAKING OUT TYSM
Ayyy Iâm so glad you liked them! (The Hide pic was painted with the intent to kill)
(last thing:
Iâm sorry, this is probably really creepy, but I ended up telling my mom about you because she asked who I was talking to (she knows I have internet friends and has seen me writing messages before). Since Iâm only 13 she worries about the people I talk (she knows all my friends on ao3) so I told her some small things like your age, that youâre from Croatia, that you play the piano too and that you mentioned having a sister.
Iâm really, really sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, mom just worries a lot and she likes to hear about my friends (like, she worries for my safety on the internet so she has to ask me some basic things about the people I talk with, and when she knows I have a good friend on the internet she sometimes wants to hear if my relationship with them is ok). Iâd never tell her something really private but sometimes she wants to talk and I know she worries for me so I do tell her small, random details from our convos.
if youâre uncomfortable with that, though, Iâll stop. Again, Iâm so sorry about this.)
And after two weeks of silence, the species finally shows some signs of life. ;-;
Iâm totally not crying. Iâve said this so many times and youâre probably getting annoyed, but I have no idea what I did to deserve you in my life. Youâre actually the only person Iâd told about my current mental state at that time, and Iâm so glad you didnât freak out or just write it away as me overreacting (like my mom did), and it means so so so much to me. Truly, thank you for being here for me. (And not giving up on me, considering how long my replies take ;-;)
Iâm here for you as well, though, so if youâre ever feeling down, you can message me ^^Â
Oh, itâd be cool if youâd get a tumblr! I can guarantee my replies would be faster then, since the messages would show up in my notifications...
Also, to brighten things up a little, this is how I picture you at the beginning of the message:
Oh  god that sounds disgusting XD And perfectly describes why I donât wanna do swimming as a sport. Are you still swimming? Itâd be cool if you were, cause itâs a really beautiful sport imo.Â
Thatâs unfortunate... Hopefully youâll be able to visit it someday ^^
Tbh considering the shit I unironically ship sometimes, no ship is weird enough to be unexplainable. Name a single reason why you ship it, and itâs valid in my eyes. Heck, it can be âthey look good togetherâ and Iâll say âmakes senseâ. Yâknow why? Because Iâm one of those ppl who will ship it if they so much as look at each other.
ok fun fact: Iâve loved TâChalla since I was like 8, because every summer, there would be a weekly publication of superhero comics, and Black Panther was almost always there, and I was a nerd even then, so Iâd always buy them. Other than Spiderman, Black Panther was my favourite superhero.Â
Lololol I need the HxH Cast watching MCU movies. Oh yeah, I found this a while ago and immediately thought of you:
Amazing... If you ever learn to animate, please send me a link, because I will pay money to see that. Just. Iâm not even into HxH, but Iâd give up a lot to see the crossover XD
Ouch, that seems like a lot of feels... Seriously I have no idea where you get the mental strength to read to many angsty moments...
um, yeah... i have actually... but um, sheâs alive, right?
Turns out I gave my skirt Iâd used to charity, so until i find a replacement, I canât take any pics... well, at least i can grow my hair out to Makaâs length till that happens XD
I adore the movie, seriously, the animators did such an amazing job with it, especially the most important scenes. BUT HECK; WHEN WILL WE FIND OUT WHAT OUR CIELâS NAME IS?? Itâs been hinted that itâs quite unusual, BUT THAT MAKES IT EVEN HARDER HNNNGH
Oh yeah, Iâm gonna find that novel even if it kills me, because I need the L.Â
lol I still havenât forgiven the movie adaptation of Avatar the Last Airbender. It was so bad that most people (including me are denying its existence). I might watch Death Note some time soon, so I can judge it for myself tbh...Â
Of course, the chips were a vital part of the Keikaku... No wonder it didnât succeed...
No worries! Itâs not your fault! Tbh, i dont think id even reached that part when I was watching it, so itâs interesting to hear all the roles... Aw, youâd be an adorable Peridot ^^
Tbh âfriend that I appreciateâ doesnât even begin to describe how precious you are to me. Youâre the first online friend I made and the first person I told about my mental state, so honestly, youâre one of the people I feel closest to...
Nah, I donât find it creepy at all!! Seriously, I sometimes tell my parents about people I talk to, so Iâve mentioned well ^^ Itâs your choice what/who youâll talk about ^^
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One thing I always loved about Star Trek was the maps of the galaxy they had on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise, showing and labeling the stars and planets of different alien civilizations. I loved the rich backdrop these maps put behind the show, making its futuristic premise of an explored galaxy of technologically advanced civilizations seem real. This map of the Star Trek galaxy from Star Trek online has all my old favourites â the Federation stars & planets in blue (thatâs us), the Klingon Empire in red, and even the ultimate bad guys â the Borg â in Purple on the right. My current vocation of SEO hasnât yet taken me to navigating the galaxy on a starship, but it has taken me deep into keyword market analysis â and thatâs something that can be made to (sort of) look like itâs from Mr Dataâs computer terminal on the Enterprise bridge. In SEO, keyword market analysis answers this question: What are people searching for online in relation to what you sell, and how often are they searching for those things? If you are running a website without this knowledge, it will be difficult to know which new pages to make or which existing ones to improve to achieve your growth goals in organic search. In this post, it is assumed you have already done this analysis in a spreadsheet, and having put your keywords into groups are now looking to present the findings about what the market looks like to your client visually. This post is about the market visualisation I like to use and how itâs made. If you havenât got your keywords grouped yet, I recommend taking a look at the predecessor post to this one, how to easily group all your keywords. Market Map A Market Map is an image of a market. Itâs like taking a shareable photo of what the market really looks like, as revealed by the keyword analysis you have done. This is what I mean by keyword analysis â a spreadsheet with keywords put into groups, and their search volumes. A market map turns a spreadsheet into a galaxy. In the image below: The lines show how the keyword groups are structured. The circles shows how popular these keyword groups are relative to each other by their size (also shown by label size) The colours represent the taxonomies and are customisable. The colours show the 2 main galactic empires in the venue space â âcorporateâ & ânon-corporateâ. The circles show the relative search volume for corporate keywords e.g. âteam building venueâ and non-corporate keywords e.g. âparty venues bristolâ, split into sub-groups that show market structure. Hereâs a full size version thatâs big enough to navigate like a galaxy (you may need to scroll around). Hereâs a different industry twist on the same theme, this time for big tech â hereâs the full size galaxy version. We can see who the big and small fry are at a glance. From big tech to broadway â your market map is an eagle eye view of any digital vertical. This one shows how popular the different shows are, relative to each other. Why use a Market Map? Keyword market analysis is how you know where to aim your search strategy. The Market Map communicates how you know this to anyone who would like to understand without asking the viewer to think about numbers, or requiring them to interact with a spreadsheet. As a single image, it can be physically pointed at, printed out and stuck on the fridge. A short verbal explainer of what the coloured structures mean is recommended beforehand. Once your audience is on board, you can sit down in the war room and strategise together for galactic domination. The astrometric data indicate that âParties Near Meâ may be our best chance for success in this campaign Captain. No Excel or programming expertise is needed to make a market map. It takes 45 minutes to get familiar with a free graph making program called Gephi using the instructions in this post. Once youâve learned it, you can churn these out in 20 minutes, depending on how much of a perfectionist you are. Delight your audience Keyword analysis spreadsheets are boring. Useful, sure. Profitable, definitely. You really should pay attention. Throw in some Excel charts and theyâve graduated from boring to a bit less boring. But still boring. The left brain is engaged and dutiful, but tired. The right brain wants to go play outside. I didnât want to straw-man this one â itâs quite nice. But letâs face facts â itâs still a spreadsheet. I have to think about numbers. Meanwhile, outside⌠Edu-tain your audience and theyâll be grateful that you made their working day a bit more fun. Theyâll have both brain hemispheres focused on your presentation and wonât have a memory of suffering associated with it. Give confidence without complication Once theyâve done their analysis, the analysts at a digital agency can communicate what theyâve found in a short email or phone call. It might be something as simple as âFocus on groups X, Y and Z in this order and follow our recommendations for implementation on this month-by-monthâ. But if I was paying for keyword analysis in my market, Iâd want a little something more when it comes to the analysis part, because Iâm not just paying for the answer â Iâm paying for confidence and peace of mind. I need some understanding of why that answer is the answer, even if Iâm a complete beginner in digital marketing. I want to rest easy with my own judgment satisfied, as well as putting my trust in the agency. At the same time, Iâd prefer to avoid getting too deep into the numbers, and I canât really spare the time to learn SEO myself. I donât need all the details, just a good picture. Hereâs how to make one. How to Make a Market Map for Your Client This 4 step process will require about 45 minutes of your time to learn. It is fiddly (Gephi is not very user friendly), but crucially, it does not require expertise in Excel or any coding knowledge. Turn your spreadsheet into a market map Here are the steps: Format your keyword market analysis data. Process this data using the Gephi data transformer Google sheet. Install Gephi and upload your newly processed data. Make your Market Map visualisation in Gephi. 1. Format your keyword market analysis data Most of the time, my keyword research has these columns in it from left to right: keyword, search volume, keyword group level 1 (e.g. item: theatre tickets), keyword group level 2 (e.g. show: matilda), keyword group level 3 (e.g. location: london) A Quick Recap on Keyword Grouping If you havenât got your keywords grouped yet, I recommend reading this post about how to easily group all your keywords before proceeding. At Found weâve moved our processes on a little since February when that post was written, with the arrival of the Keyword Categorizer. This tool in development is a custom-built solution to the problem of keyword categorization, which will soon provide the opportunity to perform the work for those who would prefer to operate outside of Excel. This is currently internal only, but hereâs a sneak preview of this classy tool: Neat feature: The tool tokenizes and orders the words in your keyword list by frequency count, helping you with the first stage of the grouping So if youâve got your keywords grouped, letâs continue. The Market Map visualisation deals in keyword groups, not keywords. So you donât actually need your keyword column â just the search volume for each keyword, and the groups. Sound too easy? Yeah, it was. The groups need to also meet these criteria: The groups need to flow hierarchically from left to right, like the growing branches of a tree, without any blanks in the middle. Groups 1 and 2 shouldnât have any blanks. If you have some rows containing blanks for these columns, replace them with âgeneralâ or whatever works best. Group 3 can have blanks because itâs the end of the hierarchical line. Think of it like a tree â you canât have leaves without the middle of the branch that supports them. But you can have branches without any leaves. 2. Process this data using the Gephi converter Google sheet. Gephi eats a special diet made up of 2 special csv files called Nodes.csv and Edges.csv. Nodes are the keyword groups themselves and their size, and edges are the map part â which nodes are connected to the other nodes based on the way the keyword groups have been hierarchically arranged in your spreadsheet. Turning keyword analysis spreadsheets into these 2 files is the biggest barrier to creating the Market Map. Hereâs a converter that does this for you. Itâs made in Google sheets to leverage the powerful Query functions that can automatically transform your keyword analysis data into the very specific format it needs to be in for Gephi to read it and make the Market Map. This should really be a web app. I grew to love Google sheets when making this after always having hated it for its latency issues. There is a lot of powerful functionality. Visit the Gephi converter here and follow the instructions. It will ask you to: Make your own copy of the Sheet first Follow the instructions Wait 5 minutes Download the 2 .csv output files Remember to make a copy first and work in the copy so the master isnât overwritten! 3. Install Gephi So first you install the program, itâs free: https://gephi.org/users/install/ Gephi works with Java so you will need the most up to date version of Java installed and running on your system: https://www.java.com/en/download/ When I installed it and tried to open it, I got an error message and had to find, open up and edit a text file called gephi.conf in the Gephi folder: C:Program FilesGephi-0.9.2etc I needed to add the path to my java installation, which is in the double quotes on the first line below, and then save: jdkhome="C:Program Files (x86)Javajre1.8.0_191" # ${HOME} will be replaced by user home directory according to platform default_userdir="${HOME}/.${APPNAME}/0.9.2/dev" Hopefully you wonât get the error and can skip this. Be forewarned â Gephi is buggy so thereâs a chance it might just not like your computer, but there are forum threads out there for most of these issues. So there might be a bit of Google searching and troubleshooting that you need to do before it works. Uploading your processed data to Gephi: Start Gephi Click new project Click data laboratory at the top Click Nodes on the left Click Import Spreadsheet and select your nodes.csv file that you created in the data converter. Click Next, Finish. You should see the below. Set Graph type to âDirectedâ and select âappend to existing workspaceâ, then click ok and youâll see the finished Node table. Now, do the same for the edges.csv where the option exists, remembering to select âappend to existing workspaceâ in the same way. 4. Make your Market Map visualisation in Gephi Click overview, next to data laboratory. This is what you should see: Each dot is a keyword group, linked to its parent and child groups by the lines. We are the Borg. Remember us? We have assimilated Gephi now. Showing search demand Next, letâs tell Gephi to size the dots based on search demand. In Appearance in the top left: Select âNodesâ Click the circles button Click Ranking just below Select âweightâ from the menu. Set max size to 100, then click Apply below. You should now be seeing something like this: Colour coding the keyword groups Itâs all a bit black and white. Add a splash of colour by following these steps: In Appearance in the top left: Select âNodesâ Click the paint palette button Click Partition just below Select âmodularityâ from the menu. Then click âApplyâ below. Now there are colours that represent your keyword groups. Usually this is for the parent groups because having a special colour for each sub group starts to get silly. You can change them manually too if you want. Labeling the keyword groups At the moment you donât know which group is which, although you can probably guess that the ridiculously huge one has the name âgeneralâ. This oneâs simple, just a button click. Layout â Bringing it to life Itâs all in a square right now â you canât see anything really. So letâs play with the layout tab. Here is the recipe I use to create the Search Universe layout. Select Label Adjust from the Layout dropdown menu on the bottom left. Click âRunâ. Youâll see the labels all spacing out nicely. Select âYifan Hu Proportionalâ at the bottom of the dropdown list and Run it as many times as it takes for it to start to look good. If itâs still looking bunched together, run Expansion or Label Adjust from the manu again a few times. When all is said and done, you should have something like this: The galaxy is taking shape. Bit itâs looking a bit rough around the edges. Now, up next to data laboratory, click on preview. Here, there are some options to help us to give the visualisation a professional finish. Finishing touches In the Preview area, there are some options to help us to give the visualisation a professional finish: Click Preview, next to data laboratory Click âRefreshâ at the bottom. The visualisation will appear, with some cool curved lines which create the galaxy effect. Tick âshow labelsâ on the left From the Presets dropdown menu at the top, click âText outlineâ Click âRefreshâ again. Plenty of options for you to customise the look and feel. You can have a black background if you want to. Export Your client probably doesnât have Gephi installed, so youâre going to need to export what you have just masterfully created. To export, go to File at top left and choose the format you want. SVG â Huge, best quality but cumbersome, use for presenting. They do look good on the big screen, and you can make it look like youâre flying through the keyword groups. PNG â Small, a bit blurry, good for previews and not much else. PDF â Smaller but pretty nice quality, I like this one. And thatâs how you make a Market Map. The post How to Make Your Market Analysis Look Like Itâs From Star Trek appeared first on FOUND.
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Shelter from the Storm (Part 2)
Characters: Sam, Reader (platonic), Jess
Summary: The story of how Sam and the Reader met and became friends. That was an awful summary omygosh Iâm so sorry
Warnings: Um⌠spoilers for the pilot episode if you somehow havenât seen it? None really.
A/N: This is part 2 of my Shelter from the Storm series (*throws confetti*). This part is mainly a flashback to when Sam and the Reader first met and how they became friends. I also always thought about the fact that Sam left and never attended Jessâs funeral and how that might have looked and felt to other people, so this vaguely explores that idea. Itâs a slow burn but I hope you guys enjoy it. Would love to hear some feedback!
Hereâs Part 1 if you havenât read it
(gif from google)
Not a word was spoke between us, there was little risk involved Everything up to that point had been left unresolved Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm Come in, she said I'll give ya shelter from the storm
The classroom was cold and loud. Students talked amongst themselves making new friends as they filled in the space and waited for the professor to arrive. You hated the first day of classes. They were always like this, full of new people and new opportunities. You hated new situations. There were so many of them over the past years it seemed. Almost too many new people and new opportunities, you thought. New opportunities had the potential to go wrong. New people were just people you would potentially get close to â and they eventually have to leave. Potential is not as promising when it is short lived. Instead you kept to yourself and doodled in your notebook.
âIs this seat taken?â a voice behind you woke you from the mindless tracing of your pencil. You turned around to see a tall man with floppy dark hair smiling politely at you. He pointed at the seat to your side, âmind if I sit here?â
You blinked yourself into focus, âoh no, I donât mind. Have a seat.â You moved over a little bit to give him some extra room. Suddenly you werenât sure how to handle yourself. Do you introduce yourself? Does he care? Do you truly care? You thought back to the futility of the whole situation and how you always swore you would never get close to people.
The decision was made for you, though, as a hand sticks out to your side. âIâm Sam. Sam Winchester,â the man said with a smile.
You took his hand in yours and gave it a couple shakes. âIâm Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.â You gave a sheepish grin, ânice to meet you.â
âYou too,â he looked down towards your notebook and caught sight of what you were drawing. âThose are cool. Are they angel wings?â
You felt your cheeks redden as you looked down at your own drawing, âUm⌠yeah I guess so? Or maybe just bird wings? Iâm not really sure. Iâve just had wings and things on my mind lately.â You werenât really sure why you felt so embarrassed by the situation. âI move around a lot and I guess I was just thinking about that.â You looked back over to him and caught his stunning hazel eyes.
He seemed a little surprised at what you had said, âReally? I move around a lot, too. Or I used to before coming here â my dadâs work and stuff.â There was some sadness in his eyes for some reason, like he was remembering something bittersweet.
âYeah my dadâs work has me moving around a lot, too,â you looked back down to your paper. âBut I have a feeling Iâll be here for a while.â
Sam looked like he was about to speak but was interrupted by the professor entering the room. âWelcome to Biology I for non-majors, ladies and gentlemen. I hope youâve chosen your seat partner wisely, because they will be your lab partner for the remainder of the semester. Mazel tov.â
You and Sam looked at each other. âWell it looks like youâre stuck with me,â he said with a smirk.
And that was the start of your friendship with Sam Winchester. The two of you bonded over the course of the semester in your Biology class. Between studying for exams and dissecting cats the two of you of you got close. You discovered you were both pre-law and in many of the same classes as each other, so you bonded over funny professor stories and shared notes and tips. After that semester, you both decided to take as many classes together as you could. Sam said it would be easier to pass the classes if he had a study partner and you agreed.
The next four years flew by with Sam as your best friend. Even after he was introduced to Jess and they got serious, you were still there. Your relationship with him was never complicated. Maybe it was still the part of you that never got close to people, but you never let yourself become attracted to him. He was just your best friend, plain and simple. The love you admittedly felt for him was platonic. You were happy to see him happy with Jess. She became your best friend, too. For the first time in your life you felt comfortable. You had been in the same place for four years and made close friends. You had inside jokes and plans for the future. You and Sam were both about to interview for law school. Everything seemed idyllic.
Until one day it wasnât. Samâs brother, who you had heard stories of, had shown up, Jess told you one weekend. Their dad had apparently gone missing, which was unlike him.
âIâm just worried he wonât make it back in time and heâll miss his interview,â Jess said over the phone with you that afternoon.
âIâm sure heâll be fine,â you comforted her as you sorted through your laundry. âBesides, that interview is all heâs been talking about for the past four months. He wouldnât miss that for the world.â
âYouâre right,â she sighs. âIâm baking cookies for him tomorrow as a little good luck and welcome back treat. Want to come over and help?â
âI wish I could, but Iâve got to prep for my own interview. Iâm super nervous about it.â You stomach knotted at the thought of it and you thought about how silly it was in the grand scheme of things. âSave some for me, though.â
âI will. And donât stress over your interview â youâll be great. That school would be lucky to have you there.â You could hear her kind smile through the phone. âSee you Tuesday for drinks?â
âYeah, definitely. Talk to you later.â But you would never get to Tuesday night drinks with her. You would never get to thank her for the kind and encouraging words she gave you not only that afternoon but throughout your whole friendship.
You were walking to class that morning when you heard murmurs and whispers throughout the campus. Idle gossip was never really something you paid attention to, but this was piquing your interest. As you sat down in your first class of the day your friend Jill looked at you with wide eyes.
âY/N, I â I thought you wouldnât be here today,â she said quietly with concern heavy in her voice.
âWhy wouldnât I be?â you were confused by her tone and demeanor.
âItâs just with what happened to Jess⌠I know you two were close. Iâm sure Sam is devastated, too.â
âWhat are you talking about?â
Your vision blurred and your breakfast threatened to reemerge from your stomach as you listened to Jill tell you about your best friendâs death. Tears filled your eyes faster than you could control and soon you were weeping in the middle of your Spanish class. You could feel everyone looking at you but you didnât care. You quickly gathered your things and ran out the door. You went back to your apartment and looked up everything you could on what happened. One of your best friends had died in a fire. Her whole apartment had caught up in flames and according to the article you found, they were still investigating what happened.
You couldnât think straight. You lost track of time. Before you knew it, it was twilight outside. You suddenly realized you hadnât heard from Sam. With shaky hands you reached for your phone and dialed his number. You got his voicemail.
âSam?â his name croaked out of your mouth. âSam Iâm not sure if you heard, but â uh â somethingâs happened with Jess. Itâs bad. I need to know if youâre okay. Okay? Call me please.â You hung up and stared at your phone, willing a return call.
Instead you got a call you werenât expecting. You dried your eyes with the heels of your hands before you answered it. âNowâs not a good time.â You said flatly to the person on the other end. The voice spoke for a moment and you listened. âWell Iâm not sure if you heard but somethingâs happened to Jess.â You were becoming more annoyed as you listened to them. âIâm trying to get ahold of Sam, but Iâm not sure where he is. He didnât answer my call.â You werenât sure why you were still talking to them at this point. âYes, I understand. Iâll be in touch,â you ended the call and dropped your head into your hands. The pain that sat in your stomach at the thought of Jess dying and Sam being in the wind made you upset. You cursed at yourself for making friends and letting your guard down.
The next few days went past in a whirlwind. You had your law school interview, but it did not seem to matter anymore. You helped Jessâs parents with the funeral. You offered a comforting hand on their shoulders as they cried and served little sandwiches to guests after the service. It was beautiful, everyone had said. So many people from school and her hometown showed up offering their condolences. All but the one person you thought should be there â Sam.
Later that night you sat staring at your computer monitor for a bit. Your mindâs eye was still filled with images of the beautiful flowers, Jessâs smiling face in pictures, and her grieving parents. You bit at a fingernail as you opened up a new email.
Sam,
You missed Jessâs funeral today. It was beautiful. There were lilies everywhere like she likes and they even sang that stupid song that we always made fun of her for liking. Everyone who spoke had nice things to say about her. Her parents asked if you were okay and I told them you were. Iâm not sure where you are but I hope itâs true. I know this is probably hard on you but please donât shut me out. Iâm here for you if you need me. At least let me know youâre okay.
Love,
Y/N
As you hit send you imagined a little envelope flittering away to wherever he was at that moment. You wondered how he was feeling and why he was being so distant with you. It seemed like now more than ever was when he needed someone like you. But you knew that grief hit everyone differently, so you let it slide.
About an hour passed when you heard the ping from your computer. You had a new email.
Y/N,
Iâm sorry Iâve been so distant and I missed the funeral. Iâm glad it was beautiful. She deserved it and so much more. Iâm safe. Iâm with my brother. Iâm not sure if or when Iâll be back. Iâm sorry.
Love,
Sam
You thought for a moment about all of the things you wanted to say to him. How upset you were that he was throwing away his future and how that was not what Jess would have wanted. Instead you took some calming breaths and hit reply:
Iâm glad youâre safe. Please keep in touch. You know Iâm always around if you need my help. X
A smile flashed across your lips as you read his quick reply:
Donât worry, I will. Youâre stuck with me.
School was never the same after Sam left and Jess died. You felt like you didnât have a reason to be there. You went through the motions the last semester and graduated, but there was no one to celebrate the moment with. Your own family was too distant to care and your two best friends were gone. It all seemed so hollow. You cursed to yourself for getting close to people because this is what happens every time. Either you leave or they leave.
Law school was a bit harder, which was to be expected. Of course your vow to never get close to people broke a little here and there as you met new friends along the way. You were always there when they needed you but you always kept them at armâs length to avoid future problems.
Helping people was in your nature. It was what you were born to do. After law school you found yourself working for Social Services, helping needy families. A routine started to develop for you: work, drinks or dinner with a couple friends, home, repeat. It was the cozy life you never dreamed youâd have. Everything was simple and predictable.
At least until there was a knock at your door at three in the morning.
Part 3
Tags:
@emilywritesaboutdean @pinknerdpanda @hannahindie @trexrambling @wheresthekillswitch @narisjournal-blog @jensen-jarpad @notnaturalanahi @casbabydontgoineedyou @simplydaisys @winchesters-favorite-girl @emwinchester1
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Social Media Automation Is Bad, and Other Marketing Lies
When it comes to social media and marketing automation, there are ways to win big. However, there have also been some runaway dumpster fires.
via GIPHY
Remember AT&Tâs super-spammy debacle called the âTicket Chasersâ program? It was a chance for people to win free NCAA tickets. They outsourced the campaign to a contractor, who then outsourced the Tweets to a robot, who then spammed the crap out of thousands of Twitter users.
The problem was that many of the recipients didnât even follow @ATT or have any interest in NCAA.
Or, more recently, take @McDonaldsCorpâs unfortunate tweet.
Thereâs not a lot of substance there, but @Wendys sure loved it.
Even the best of us make mistakes, and public ones at that. But some point to these instances as proof-positive that social media automation is bad marketingâthat it undermines the purpose of social media altogether: community engagement and meaningful conversations.
After all, youâd never automate messages to your friends and family, would you? Then how can you (gasp) automate messages to your beloved audience?
The truth is, these accusations miss the point entirely. Social media automation done well is both brilliant and has a positive return. The difference is using what I call âsmart-o-mationâ rather than âspam-o-mation.â
I donât like spam. Nobody likes spam. But social automation doesnât have to be spam.
âItâs Only Timeâ
Once upon a time, my company, CoSchedule, ran a test around the perfect recipe for social promotion. We wanted to know how many times we should promote a single piece of content. Which networks work best?
We dug into our own data packed with millions of messages from tens of thousands of users. We also crunched the numbers from over twenty industry-recognized studies on the best times to schedule social media messages on every network.
Iâm talking time of day, day of the week, every detail down to the hour. Then, we published our findings.
Recently, I met a marketer who was absolutely raving about this article. That was pretty fun to hear. In fact, he found so much value in it, he had it bookmarked and followed it religiously every time he scheduled a social media messages for his brandâs many accounts.
âFor every message?â I asked him.
âThatâs right, every message.â
âDoesnât that take you a ton of time?â I asked.
âNah, itâs not that bad. Just a few hours per week.â
He was an awesome guy, and we talked for a while longer. Eventually, though, I gave him some good news that I could get him the same resultsâperfectly scheduled messagesâin one percent of the time with some of our automation features.
Surprisingly, he pushed back. It took some time for me to convince him that he should give up the intensive manual labor of scheduling things by hand. He kept saying, âItâs only timeâit doesnât cost me anything!â However, thatâs where he, and many other marketers Iâve met, are wrong.
Dollarize Your Time
A few quick questions helped me calculate that his time was worth about $100 per hour. In his mind, he was saving money by not dropping $60 per month on an automation tool. By the end of our conversation, it was pretty apparent that while he was âsavingâ $60, he was actually spending $1,200 in time to accomplish the same function.
He was stuck in the âitâs only timeâ trap. He was grossly undervaluing his time. And we constantly see this in marketing teams.
Too many marketers think their time is free. But they donât realize that itâs actually more valuable than their money.
The purpose of promotion is to get the right people to the right place at the right timeâall with the goal of driving profitable customer action. The mechanics of promotion are about ruthlessly outsourcing tasks that can be performed just as well, if not better, by automated processes. When you donât, youâre stuck in an unscalable pattern.
My marketing friend, like each of us, has 168 hours per week. Letâs generously say he only works 40 hours per week. (He probably works much more, like a lot of you reading this!) That means the three âfreeâ hours he spends each week on perfectly timing his social messages equals 7.5 percent of his time.
Now, Iâll ask you the same question I asked him: âHow would it feel to put in fewer hours and get better results?â
Itâs possible because that same time previously sunk into menial tasks is now available for high-return pursuitsâthe stuff you absolutely cannot delegate to another person or tool.
Itâs time to embrace smart-o-mation to get bigger results in less time.
Smart-o-mation versus Spam-o-mation
Smart-o-mation is a way to 10x your social media results while saving time and money. In fact, I believe in its power so much, itâs actually a part of my content marketing formula.
However, when people hear me talk about automation, some think Iâm advocating for âTicket Chasersâ-style spamming, where you simply spew the same tweets, posts, and pics ad nauseam. This is spam-o-mation, a virtual recipe for alienating your audience in a public way. Itâs also the form of automation people actually have a problem with.
Rethink Your Publishing Schedule
Harnessing the power of smart-o-mation is dead simple. Itâs all about rethinking your publishing schedule.
Spoiler alert: Itâs time to get aggressive.
In my experience, under-sharing on social media is a marketing epidemic. It looks like this: You publish a fresh blog post, then share a link on Facebook, Twitter, or maybe LinkedIn. Hopefully, it picks up some traction and nabs some likes, comments, and shares.
But within a few hours, your post evaporates from peopleâs feeds. In fact, some studies indicate a tweetâs shelf life is five minutes or less before it evaporates for good.
Now, couple that shelf life with the staggering amount of noise on social. Every single second, there are:
814 images published on Instagram 2,644,941 emails sent 7,844 messages tweeted
This is further compounded by the dismal reality of that postâs reach. According to a report by Social@Ogilvy, brands may experience as little as two percent organic reach.
If youâve got 10,000 followers, a cool 200 of them will see the post as they breeze through their feeds over the course of two hours.
From our own data, we know that 77 percent of our users share their content on social media less than three times. 37 percent share content on social media just once after itâs published.
Hereâs the deal. If youâre sharing a piece of content just once, youâre absolutely wasting your content. Youâre leaving tons of engagement and traffic on the tableâand this means revenue!
We know this for a fact because when we ramped up our posting schedule, our blog posts got 31.5 times more click-throughsâthatâs a 3,150 percent increase in one week. And all because of our frequency.
We more than quadrupled our traffic with essentially no more effort.
Our first tweet attracted only two link clicks. A measly two people visited our content.
If weâd stopped there, this channel would have been a nothing burger. Fortunately, we kept talking about it. We tweeted about this piece of content eight more times, attracting 63 additional click-throughs.
You can take a deeper dive into exactly how we did it with a webinar Jay Baer and Nathan Ellering tag teamed.
How To Quadruple Traffic With A Social Media Calendar
One of my favorite quotes from Jay here was, âThe goal isnât to be good at social media. The goal is to be good at business because of social media.â
Thatâs exactly what a more robust posting schedule helps you do.
If youâre sharing a piece of content just once, youâre absolutely wasting your content.Click To Tweet Smart-O-Mate Your New Posting Schedule
Over time and with constant testing, we settled on a social media promotion schedule thatâs about 40 days long for blog posts alone. But, since we publish so much content, manually keeping up with so much social media posting legwork would cost an incredible amount in dollarized time. It would also be a huge opportunity cost.
While our marketing team would be doing excellent social media work by posting at the best times on the optimal days, their time to actually create more content and engage with our followers on social media would be seriously undercut.
Thatâs why we define our cross-platform promotion schedule and then automate every message with just a few clicks.
We still custom design graphics. We still write valuable copy for every social message. Weâre doing far more than shooting out a title and link for 40 days.
But the point to embrace is that intelligent automation will save you time, and therefore increase your ability to drive business value with social media.
Get yourself unstuck from the âItâs only timeâ trap, get aggressive with your promotion schedule, and capitalize on social automation tools to do the time-consuming tasks for you.
In fact, Convince & Convert saves north of 10 hours each month via the same process. But remember, be smart, not spammy. Add value to your audience at every turn. This will allow automation to supercharge your results rather than sour them.
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