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sleepanonymous · 1 year ago

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im trying to get into sleeptoken - one of my friends is dragging me into it and i love it - can you just give me like a huge timeline and lore overlook? im looking around your feed, and im SO confused but also SO intrigued !! would love to hear from you :)

Hi! New fans always make me so happy! I’m glad you’ve been shown Sleep Token and you like what you’ve heard so far! I always recommend this video and this article regarding Sleep Token lore, but… yeah, I will take a stab at a complete timeline for you. I’ll be honest: I never was very into the lore of “Sleep” as much as I was curious about the band itself (which is typically why I recommend the two above sources for lore purposes). I know that much of the lore is from fans’ deep analyses of Sleep Token’s lyrics and not anything official from the band or Vessel. Almost everything is fan-made, so there are a lot of differing opinions—anything official or stated by Vessel and the band in interviews I included. If anyone is interested in my take on the lore, I might make a separate post about that.

This ended up becoming a massive post. Take what you think is massive and then double or even triple it. Fun fact: I aggressively fact-checked this and actually learned some new things about the band myself. I have marked any unverifiable statements and opinions in this post with an asterisk. Due to the band’s secrecy, the sentences with an asterisk are either heavily opinion-based or my best guess at what might have happened during a specific time period. Take them with a grain of salt.

Anyway! I have a problem; below the cut, I am making it everybody else’s problem.

In September of 2016, a video was posted to YouTube. The video was a black-and-white depiction, through short clips and flashing images, of what appeared to be a lone masked man, Vessel, performing a ritual by candlelight. The music over the video, a hauntingly beautiful mixture of indie pop and prog metal, was met with heavy praise from commenters. The description had three links to a new band’s social media and a Bandcamp account. Below the links was the following description:

Sleep Token are a masked, anonymous collective of musicians; united by their worship of an ancient deity crudely dubbed “Sleep”, since no modern tongue can properly express it’s name. This being once held great power, bestowing ancient civilisations with the gift of dreams, and the curse of nightmares. Even today, though faded from prominence, ‘Sleep’ yet lurks in the subconscious minds of man, woman, and child alike. Fragments of beauty, horror, anguish, pain, happiness, joy, anger, disgust, and fear coalesce to create expansive, emotionally textured music that simultaneously embodies the darkest, and the brightest abstract thoughts. He has seen them. He has felt them. He is everywhere. Sleep Token, led by the perpetually tormented, supremely talented Vessel, creates music that brings to the fore our most submerged thoughts and feelings, coaxing them from the desolate, terrifying caves of our subconscious mind.

The band officially formed in April 2016 (The YouTube channel, for reference, was created on April 14, 2016), but things had already been in the works for nearly a year before the uploaded Thread the Needle music video. In July 2015, Vessel came into contact with a talent scout/independent project manager by the name of Tom (I won’t provide his full name since Googling him brings up biased, embellished, and most likely false information about the band and its members).* In 2015, Vessel was already a skilled, trained, and experienced musician with the ability to play several instruments, including the piano, guitar, and bass, and the knowledge to compose and produce his own music. That being the case, Tom introduced Vessel to a drummer, dubbed II, as well as a skilled producer by the name of George Lever.*

On November 10, 2016, a second video was posted to Sleep Token’s YouTube channel, a music video for the masked collective’s second release, Fields of Elation. Much like Thread the Needle, Fields of Elation was met with enthusiasm and praise by Sleep Token’s growing fanbase.

Finally, on December 2, 2016, Sleep Token independently released their first EP, aptly titled “One”, on their Bandcamp page. The EP included Thread the Needle, Fields of Elation, and a new song: When the Bough Breaks. Accompanying the three songs, the band also included piano renditions of all three songs, performed solely by Vessel.

On the last day of February 2017, Sleep Token posted another video to their YouTube channel, a sombre piano cover of Outkast’s Hey Ya. Following the release of “One” and the cover of Hey Ya, Tom, now acting as Sleep Token’s manager, got the band signed to a label called Basick Records.* By May 2017, the band had another three-song EP, dubbed “Two”, already written and set to release that summer. This was announced via the release of Sleep Token’s third music video, Calcutta. By this time, Sleep Token’s manager had gotten a stand-in bassist and guitarist, dubbed III and IV, respectively, for the band’s first live Ritual. This was mentioned at the end of Sleep Token’s first-ever published interview with Louder. You can read it and the accompanying short article here.

On June 17, 2017, less than one month after the release of the Calcutta music video, Sleep Token took the stage for their first Ritual at The Black Heart in London. The band played seven songs live, including the three songs from “One”, Calcutta, two unreleased songs, Nazareth and Jericho from their upcoming EP “Two”, and their cover of Hey Ya. Very little is known about this Ritual. Most online sources seem to not know of its existence at all. The only concrete facts known about Ritual I are that doors opened at 7 pm, it was 18+, and tickets were £8.00 each. It is unclear how many people attended the Ritual; no footage or pictures have surfaced from that evening.

Sleep Token’s second and third rituals were performed in London in October and November 2017. The band opened for Motorpsycho and Perturbator, respectively. Because they were openers, any visual or audio documentation is nearly non-existent, but the band did appear in a few online articles reviewing the concerts.

In this article, author Roger Trenwith wrote the following about Sleep Token’s Ritual II:

“The support act Sleep Token was an odd mix of metal and pure pop, played by a band in horror masks and cloaks. Musically they were somewhat formulaic, in the tried and trusted quiet-loud-quiet-F’KIN LOUD nature of most of the songs, and accompanying theatrics by rote. When they diverted from the formula, they showed some promise, mostly down to the singer, whose extraordinary range made them just about bearable.”

Ritual III was met with similar criticism. This article, written by a much more helpful and open-minded Chris Keith-Wright, stated the following*:

“Remarkably, by the time Sleep Token take to the stage to start the evening off, there’s a very respectable amount of people front and centre to check them out. Perhaps this is due to the up-swell of media attention on the band since their signing to Basick Records and the release of their second EP, cleverly titled Two, that landed this summer. [...] The conceit surrounding the group is that the band are representatives of an ancient deity known only as “Sleep”, and that their frontman is an appointed-one dubbed ‘Vessel’. Whatever one makes of that, the fact is that Sleep Token’s Vessel has a most extraordinary set of pipes. [...] With a lighting show in time with their music and Vessel’s strong, soulful melodic voice featuring some impressive falsetto, they quickly engaged the audience. With the amount of vocal harmonies and extra musical depth that came over the sound system, I have to admit that it felt throughout their set that they were missing a band member, someone who could control and wield the keyboards, samples and electronics in a live setting. Donned with the obligatory cloaks the band produce a strong performance with their points of difference, clearly thought out prior to their live debut only a few weeks before. Their odd masks obscure their faces and during the quiet, vocal-led passages the guitar and bass players stood stock still. It’s simple, understated, but effective, producing quite the spectacle. Sleep Token’s transition between soulful, repetitive vocal melodies and brutal Meshuggah-esque riffery, and after a few songs this formula felt well-trodden. This is unfortunate as on record these transitions between the two disparate styles are far better executed – live there was far too much juxtaposition. Despite this, I and the majority of the growing crowd were transfixed by their performance.”

In March 2018, Sleep Token opened for two Holding Absence/Loathe shows, two bands with which Vessel would later collaborate. By April 2018, Sleep Token had parted ways with their manager and the Basick Records label.* It is unclear if both of these departures were related or amicable. As a once again independent artist, Sleep Token released the single, Jaws, on June 3, 2018, using footage filmed for their Nazareth music video that their previous label did not utilise. Through the spring and summer of 2018, Sleep Token performed their rituals at UK music festivals, further growing their fanbase.

In August of 2018, Vessel gave his second interview to Kerrang! UK. Interestingly, the article refers to the frontman not as Vessel but simply as Him. The main focus is on Sleep Token’s music and the single Jaws, released two months prior. A transcribed version of the article can be found in my Google Drive

Following these successful rituals and the Jaws interview, the band released another single, The Way That You Were, on October 8, 2018, along with its music video on YouTube.

This release preceded the last Ritual the band would perform that year. On October 11, 2018, Ritual XI was held at St Pancras Old Church in London, dubbed the band’s Inaugural Headline Ritual. It’s rumoured that all 120 tickets to the Ritual sold out in seconds. The band performed ten songs in total, including the live debut of the song Blood Sport. It is also worth noting that this is the first ritual Sleep Token performed with an opener being a band called Exploring Birdsong, which would become a staple opener for later ritual dates. Several members of Exploring Birdsong would also later become touring members of Sleep Token as the Choir.

At an unknown date in 2019, Sleep Token signed with a new label, Spinefarm Records. Together, the band and label began releasing music from Sleep Token’s first full-length album, “Sundowning.” Starting with The Night Does Not Belong to God on June 20, 2019, the band methodically released a new song bi-weekly at sundown BST until the record’s full release on November 21, 2019.

Interestingly, Sleep Token’s biography on Spinefarm differs from what the band had previously had in the description of their first two music videos. It is as follows:

Beneath the Sleep Token banner, lies the unique, broad-based vision of one individual – anonymous, silent, masked, armed with a staggering vocal range, a deft touch on the keyboards, plus a live approach that is never less than fully engaged.

While all factual statements to Vessel’s capabilities and talents, it appears that the band and their new label had retconned the lore surrounding them, granting the creation credits solely to Vessel himself. This is further evident by the Kerrang! Interview Vessel had previously given, which was removed from the internet, as well as the band’s Facebook page getting scrubbed of all posts prior to April 2019. Replacing them is a video of Vessel sitting at a piano and removing his mask, reminiscent of what would later happen at The Room Below Ritual in 2022.

Sleep Token would return to the stage on July 2, 2019. During this Ritual, Sleep Token opened for Amaranth and headliner Babymetal. This Ritual is notable because two key stage members, the guitarist IV and the Keyboardist, were replaced. The new guitarist took on the same moniker of IV, and the Keyboardist was replaced with three women from Exploring Birdsong, forming the Choir (or, as fans have dubbed them, the Vesselettes). The Choir was not yet a ritual staple, and there were several festivals and rituals where they did not accompany the band on stage, such as Sleep Token’s first US tour from November 7 to December 15, supporting Issues on the Beautiful Oblivion tour. The replacement for IV, however, did accompany Sleep Token on this tour.

With the release of “Sundowning,” Sleep Token once again gave an interview to Kerrang! UK to accompany an article reviewing the album. The article can be found online here, but no longer has the accompanying interview section. A photo of the original magazine review + interview, and a transcription can be found in my Google Drive.

Returning to the UK, Sleep Token performed several more rituals in late January 2020. Due to COVID-19 and subsequent lockdowns, they did not conduct another ritual that year. Nearly one year after the release of Sundowning, the band released a deluxe version, including new covers of Whitney Houston’s I Wanna Dance With Somebody and Billie Eilish’s When The Party’s Over, a piano version of Blood Sport, and a new original song titled Shelter.

Sleep Token would not perform another Ritual until the Download Pilot festival on June 18, 2021. Despite being Sleep Token’s first Ritual in over a year, this festival also had IV replaced again by another guitarist donning the same moniker. The Choir also returned to the stage with Sleep Token, completing the lineup that we know today. This festival was the same day that Sleep Token dropped their new single from their upcoming second album, Alkaline, along with a music video on YouTube.

Another reason the Download Pilot ritual was significant is that it was the first time a spoken message had been given to the attendees of a Sleep Token ritual, not by a band member but by a prerecorded, AI-generated voice. The following text was the message:

Let’s not deceive ourselves There is a reason we are here It follows us wherever we go We were in love We are in love It is what floats above us as we try to sleep It is what stands beside us as we gaze into nothingness It is drowning us It is eating us alive A million outstretched arms in complete darkness They will reach forever Remind me We’re both dying to find out what happens when we die We’re both scared of being We’re both stolen pieces of each other We’re both exploring our own frontiers of grief We’re both just strangers We’re both just particles We’re both so lost in what it means to be lost We’re both a house that remained unoccupied for too long Let’s not deceive ourselves.

Sleep Token released another music video for their upcoming album’s second single, The Love You Want, on August 6, 2021. Sleep Token played the same spoken message before taking the stage at the 2021 Heavy Music Awards on September 2, 2021. On stage, they performed several staple songs from “Sundowning” along with new singles Alkaline and The Love You Want, with the latter including the same dancers from the music video.

Two weeks later, on September 17, 2021, Sleep Token released their third and final single from their upcoming album, Fall For Me. Unlike the previous music videos for the band, this video focused on a single man, whom keen-eyed fans had identified as Vessel, though he was maskless, paintless, and in street clothing. Over the video, words will flash across the screen. When strung together, they give the following message:

The truth is I am due a harsh lesson In truth itself and how bitter it can be Will you teach me? The truth is, I am ugly, I am inadequate, I am lost, I am no god The truth is, I want to want to live And so do you I just can’t do this any longer I am afraid Are you afraid? I want to understand what it is to let go So for now let me serve as a living drama of your pain If we are to be submerged let us be submerged Together

One week later, On September 24, 2021, Sleep Token released their second full-length album with Spinefarm Records, titled “This Place Will Become Your Tomb.” This album was the first to find a spot on the UK music charts, reaching #39 for UK Albums.

That following November, Sleep Token had their first multi-date headline tour supporting their second album. They toured with another of their staple openers, AA Williams, and played eight rituals in total throughout the UK.

On November 26, 2021, an instrumental version of “This Place Will Become Your Tomb” was released, stripping all songs of Vessel’s vocals, except for Missing Limbs, which was not included. Surprising fans, just over one month later, on January 2, 2022, Sleep Token released a cover of Loathe’s song Is It Really You? The cover is listed as a collaboration between both bands but is simply (though still beautiful and enrapturing) Vessel singing alongside a piano rendition of the original song.* A year later later, the vocalist of Holding Absence, Lucas Woodland, would also announce that his band had collaborated with Vessel on an unreleased song on his Twitter.

This unofficial announcement accompanies another that was made in March of 2019 by Lucas, who stated in an interview that Vessel assisted Holding Absence with playing the piano in the song Purge.

On March 30, 2022, Sleep Token released an instrumental version of their first album, Sundowning. Nearly a month later, on April 29, 2022, Sleep Token, or rather Vessel and the Choir, performed an intimate ritual at the Lafayette in London. The Ritual was dubbed “From the Room Below.” This performance is one of the most significant rituals for two reasons. Vessel sang and played guitar for the first several songs, then removed his mask and played the rest of the set while sitting at a piano with his back to the audience. The second reason is that Vessel, once again, played an AI-generated message to the crowd of 600 people while he openly sobbed on the piano bench. His full message to the audience was this:

We are here to silently connect. To project ourselves onto one another. We are here to remember. We are here to forget. We are here to worship. Some time ago, I was given a message. It was a message that originated from one of you. Someone possessed by a strong desire to tell me something. The message read very simply: You saved me. I have thought about this message a great deal since. It left me with a feeling that I have somehow been mistaken for someone else. I did not save anyone. I do not believe I have the capacity to save anyone. All I have ever given anyone was a small window into the emotional waiting room of my mind. I do so whilst doing everything in my power to minimise my own vulnerability. In this way, I am selfish. I chose not to give what others can, and yet I am the benefactor of this thankful praise. I experience a great deal of pain in my life. However, I do not believe I have suffered as you have suffered. Perhaps that is another reason why we are here. At the very least, we have all suffered. I would also like to take this chance to tell you something. To love oneself is not the easy task we are sometimes told it is. We are all limited by something. We are all guilty of something. My own path towards a place of greater self-acceptance is paved with the art that I create. It is a path that I continue to stumble down at the expense of everything else. I am nothing without this music. I am nothing without this mask. So, in this sense, the message I received was true, but only in an inverse sense. The truth is I did not save anybody. You saved me.

After this first Ritual of 2022, Sleep Token had a busy year of touring, performing rituals in the UK, for the first time in Australia, and returning to the United States. In all, fifty-four rituals were performed, making 2022 Sleep Token’s busiest year— until 2023.

On January 4, 2023, Sleep Token dropped a new YouTube video, a visualiser for a new song, Chokehold, from their upcoming third studio album, “Take Me Back to Eden.” One day later, on January 5, Sleep Token posted another visualiser to YouTube, this time for the song The Summoning. This song is specifically responsible for Sleep Token’s sudden skyrocketing into the spotlight of modern music. To date (late November 2023), the visualiser has over 13 million views on YouTube, and the song has over 80 million streams on Spotify.

Around the same time as Chokehold and The Summoning were released, Sleep Token also added new merchandise to their store. Among the new “Take Me Back to Eden” themed shirts and pullovers was a crewneck sweater with a poem written in runes. The poem read as follows:

I am hunting something, and in turn, that same thing is hunting me. The beholder, the void beyond. I am the line between. I am the teeth of God.

Sleep Token released six singles for their third studio album: Granite on January 19, Aqua Regia on January 20, Vore on February 15, and DYWTYLM on April 19. “Take Me Back to Eden” was released on May 19. Dubbed the end to a trilogy, Sleep Token’s third album reached a peak point of #3 for UK Albums and #16 for the US Billboard 200. With this success, Sleep Token and Vessel were featured on several magazine covers, but the accompanying articles lacked an interview by the band or their servants.

Sleep Token spent the time between single releases touring Europe, the UK, and Australia. In September of 2023, the band returned to the US, for the first time with the Choir, for a headline tour, using AA Williams as their opener. At every date on this headline tour, a series of interludes were played between songs. All four interludes are below.

Interlude I Mask: They think you fake it Vessel: What do you mean? Mask: When you cry on stage, they don’t think it’s real. Vessel: That’s a reasonable assumption. Mask: Do you fake it? Vessel: No, I don’t. But it is something I do consistently, so if I was a member of the audience, I would probably assume that it wasn’t real. Mask: Do you ever see them crying? Vessel: No, I can only ever see them smiling. That’s good. I want them to smile. Mask: Do you think they want you to cry? Do you think they like it? Vessel: Not as such; I think they just want to know that I am feeling something, feeling what they are feeling, perhaps. Mask: Do you think that this amount of crying is healthy for you? Vessel: I don’t know. But at least I feel something; if I don’t feel anything, then why would I even do this?

Interlude II Mask: Why am I here? What is my purpose in all of this? Vessel: Your purpose is twofold. You protect me from them, and you also protect them from me. Mask: How is it that I serve to protect anyone from anything? That makes no sense. Vessel: In order for all of this to work, there has to be a certain boundary in place. They need to be able to project themselves onto this without anyone else’s identity getting in the way. In turn, I need to be able to show my true self to them in a way that does not compromise their ability to connect. Mask: So that’s what I am? A boundary? Vessel: Yes. Mask: I don’t believe you. I believe there is more to it than that. I believe you are afraid of something. Vessel: We are all afraid of something, are we not? Mask: What is it you are so afraid they will see? Vessel: That I am exactly like everyone else.

Interlude III Mask: Are you afraid of me? Vessel: Sometimes. Mask: Why? Vessel: I think I am afraid of becoming you. Mask: What does that even mean? Vessel: My life is becoming gradually consumed by you. Before long, all that I am will be contained within you. Then, one day, when I no longer wish to wear you, there will be nothing else left. Mask: It seems you have forgotten who you are. Before you had me, you were nothing. All of this artifice, all this pathetic conjecture about your identity, it is nothing but a manifestation of how short-sighted and solipsistic you have become. I lifted you from misery and obscurity. You would be better to become me. You are nothing without me. You always were nothing without me.

Interlude IV Vessel: You. Are. Wrong. In the end, my fractured sense of self was only another piece of fuel for the fire that burns in the eyes of these people before us. They, too, are pained. They, too, do not know who they truly are. They are each stood alone on a stage of their own. And yet, they are here. United by that sense of never truly belonging. They see something beyond their own bleak horizons. And they reach for it. Together. So let us join now. To reflect their joy and to serve as a conduit for their anguish. To swallow their fear.

Though only one month remains in 2023, Sleep Token still has a set of rituals to complete in Germany, as well as their largest venue as a headliner: OVO Wembley Arena, with a staggering 12,500 capacity—tickets sold out in ten minutes when they went on sale earlier this year in June. With the band’s continuous and foreboding statement of “nothing lasts forever,” many fans worried that this would be the last we ever saw of Sleep Token, with everything starting from “One” and culminating to a peak with “Take Me Back to Eden,” only to evaporate into nothing come the new year. Fortunately, several 2024 tour dates have already been announced for Sleep Token, including a tour in Australia where the band will be supporting Bring Me the Horizon and a festival date for the USA in April. Though all we can do is speculate what may come next for Sleep Token, one thing is for certain: This is only the beginning for our favourite band.

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luck-and-larceny · 2 months ago

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FFXIV Write: Morsel

Marrant’s first and second love is himself. His third love is also himself. But somewhere a little way after that is music.

Those are qualities we share, I suppose.

Where we disagree is on the topic of image. Marrant cannot rest until he proves to the world that he's every bit as important, intelligent and talented as he fully believes himself to be. He is certain he's a divine gift sent from the Twelve themselves to be idolized and admired by an adoring public. The problem comes when he encounters people who do not realize this. These ungrateful fools cause him to lose sleep, for if there is even one person who might doubt his capability he tosses and turns in bed, fully consumed by a gnawing need to prove them wrong.

I cannot even begin to comprehend that. To me, it's more fun to be regarded differently by different people. I thrive as much off people hating me as I do them adoring me.

So when Marrant tells me that he needs me to steal Audr Shade’s latest musical composition because it will win this year's competition I'm not surprised. He could never handle people thinking someone else's work was better than his own (though it often was).

I am surprised when Marrant tells me that he needs me to also rob his place of the composition he was going to submit to the competition because, “It's not good enough and I won't embarrass myself by letting them hear it. But I also won't embarrass myself by not submitting it.”

“But you will embarrass yourself by asking your ex-girlfriend– who we've already established hates you and you hate in return– to steal it from you? Why not just say it was stolen?”

He rolls his eyes to make it clear to me that he's already considered that and he's disappointed that I can't keep up with his superior intellect.

“Unless it looks like it was actually stolen they'll see through it. They'll gossip amongst themselves that I made the whole robbery up because I was too ashamed to admit my incompetence. Despicable little cretins.”

“Oh, absolutely,” I agree, “It's so hard to find good, honest people to take you at your word these days while you're hiring thieves to wreck your home so you can save face in a stupid little music contest.”

His eyes light up with rage. Uh oh. That means a boring lecture will soon rain down upon me.

“It's NOT a ‘stupid little music’ contest. The fact that I need to tell you that says so much about you and your lack of culture. All these years later and you still don't care about the things that matter, do you?”

“Nah,” I agree, “You need this done tonight, right? I'll need addresses…”

“The Gridanian Songwriting Competition is the most innovative and creative music celebration in all of Eorzea–”

“Wouldn't know it from the name,” I interrupt, “They use up all the innovation and creativity budget before getting to that?”

He ignores me. That's probably the right call. “Every important name in music and aspiring artist attends the competition. The winner becomes the most respected name in music for the entire year. As a professional musician there is no greater honor than to be acknowledged by the committee. If you spent half as much time on your music as you do skulking about, breaking windows and shoplifting–”

“Then I wouldn't be able to save you from utter humiliation at this contest by robbing you. So really, thank the Twelve I'm such an uncultured child, right?”

He sniffs and says nothing because he knows I'm right. I'll savor this tiny victory crumb.

“Audr Shade is a genius. A musical genius.” It is a great struggle for Marrant to form these words and if I didn't despise him so much I might even pity him. Instead, I relish this. This is delicious.

“But he's also a heathen,” he says. “He is rude, uncouth, undignified and undeserving of the award.”

“Sounds like my kind of guy,” I reply.

“You'd like him,” he admits with a shrug. “But I still need you to steal that music if you want information on the Tempest Tapestry.”

“I steal from a lot of people I like,” I casually shrug back.

“You're a terrible person,” he says and I don't disagree. Instead, I take down the address and make my plans to rob the musical genius and this insufferable bore tonight.

I might be a bad person, but at least I won't be a bored one.

#FFXIVWrite2024 #FFXIV Write #Morsel #Writings #Sure I can just keep writing this same story for this challenge #Why not #Because it's taking forever is why not

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singlesablog · 1 year ago

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The Closet, Part 1.

“Everything She Wants” (1984) Wham! Columbia Records (Written by George Michael) Highest U.S. Billboard Chart Position – No. 1

Not since Warhol painted his silkscreens of Mao Zedong in the early 70s had a project as blatantly propagandistic as Wham!, and their second album, Make it Big, appear on US shores. It was a record with its intentions splashed across the LP cover in large, unironic text above the image it was selling: the nubile duo of George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley, hairdos perfectly coiffed, all done up like doe-eyed fashion models in high-end sportswear. Even the colors of the album were strategic: red, white, and blue. Wham! was clearly setting their ambitions straight for the Reagan 80s, and toward US domination.

Andy Warhol, "Mao", 1972, Silkscreen.

Like the Reagan 80s, the ideas behind the first single, “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”, were as fun, retro and catchy as his signature jelly beans. I wasn’t terribly impressed with the song (first heard over the piped-in radio at the Chick-Fil-A I worked in at in the mall) until I saw the video. There he was: George Michael, costumed in short shorts, wearing a white sweatshirt that screamed Choose Life, hugging himself as he ponied and swam about in a sea of neon colors. It was then that the song really took off for me: George, Andrew, Pepsi and Shirlie, all having a romp, signaling that the New wave was over, and that something much bigger was ahead of us: pure, unadulterated fun. Of course I zeroed in on George, his Greek curls laboriously blown out into a perfectly feathered mane and dyed into the colors of artificial sunshine, and in the pivotal video moment, hugging himself tightly with fingerless cotton gloves, two gold-hooped earrings glittering for the camera. I am telling you, those earrings on George Michael were the gayest thing I had ever seen (not the straight “one” earring, but two), and thereby an annunciation: looking at him, right there on regular TV, I felt reborn.

Make it Big would spawn five top ten singles in the United States (if you count “Last Christmas”, a one-off that would appear as a double A side with “Everything She Wants” in England) and included three US number ones. “Everything She Wants”, which followed “Wake Me”, “Careless Whisper”, and “Freedom”, would be the last to be released from the album, and it was unique in that it did not seem to be cut from the same cloth as the other singles, which were in essence modeled after Motown. It was a song that also did not depend on a video to sell itself (not that they didn’t make one). I was in the bathroom blow-drying a crest into my swing bang when I first heard it on the radio, and I know I must have frozen mid-bang. Something was very different with this track. First and most importantly it was entirely built on a synthesizer, from the Linn drum bongos that open it (George’s rough demo sample was kept for the final product) to the beautiful synth notes; in fact, like “Last Christmas”, the entire song was written and performed on one instrument, a Roland Juno-60, and both songs would be performed solely by George without any other musicians to sweeten it. He wrote and arranged it overnight, with no thought of it being a single until everyone responded to it so well. According to engineer Chris Porter:

"I think this was when George started to realize that if he wanted to, he could do everything himself. He could [just] cut out all these other people and their ideas."

Back in my bathroom, frozen in place, I wouldn’t have perceived any of this. What I was perceiving was something even gayer than George hugging himself in “Wake Me Up”: this new George had a voice speaking directly to me. “Everything She Wants” is a song about a man in an unhappy marriage, an unhappy 80s marriage, to be precise, because the female in question is fixated upon perfection through consumerism. George in the song is projecting the role of the long-suffering woman, and in an act of pure subversion instead plays the hard-working husband who has to pretend that he is fulfilled by having a wife. He is, in essence, bitching about having to play it straight, and in my mother’s bathroom I understood completely that a song dripping in sarcasm about being in a marriage was the queerest (and possibly most liberating) thing I had ever heard in my life up until that moment, the peak, the essence, being when he sings the lines: And now you tell me that you're having my baby I'll tell you that I'm happy if you want me to But one step further and my back will break If my best isn't good enough, then how can it be good enough for two?

Not only were these priceless, hilariously bitchy lyrics (the song is punctuated with his backing vocals screeching “work!”, “work!”) it directly expresses the reality of a gay man suffering miserably in the closet, and delivers a pungent commentary about the reality of living in the shadows of straight conformity. The most delicious thing about it was the era it was tucked into (with its new rush of bubblegum pop)—if the song had a real message, it was sure to be lost in all of the neon fun. The import was not, however, lost on me.

Looking gay, as Wham! did, does not make you gay. Making fizzy, lush pop songs, in and of itself, of course does not make you gay. Being a male pop duo does not make you gay. After taking over the world, hit after hit, the final No.1 for Wham! in “Everything She Wants” definitely, definitely made me gayer. In sound and vision, it would mark the beginning of George Michael as a real solo act, on the precipice of joining the ranks of the biggest pop stars in the world. Soon, George would have all the fame he could ever desire; sadly, it would prove to be the biggest closet of them all.

Last Christmas, 1984

Written in 1983, recorded in August of 1984, Wham’s “Last Christmas” would of course be announced as a December release (George had performed the song alone in a studio fully decorated for Christmas with engineer Chris Porter to set the mood).

In the UK there is a long history and competitive spirit surrounding a Christmas No. 1 , which meant the hit should be the last to chart for the year. Famous examples of a Christmas No. 1 in the UK would include The Beatles’ “I want To Hold Your Hand” (1963), The Human League's “Don’t You Want Me” (1981) and Pet Shop Boys’ “Always on My Mind” (1987). In 1984, during the filming of Band Aid’s “Do They Know It’s Christmas”, which was produced for famine relief in Ethiopia by Bob Geldof, one can see George Michael lamenting that the song they were recording would surely keep the Wham! track from going to No.1, and he was right. “Do They Know It’s Christmas” won the year, with “Last Christmas” coming in as No.2. He had smiled shyly when he said it, but one could tell he was over it. If George Michael was anything in the 80s, it was ambitious.

In 2006, Michael released a Greatest Hits, Twenty-Five, featuring four new songs, one of which, “Understand”, would serve as a sort of apologia to “Everything She Wants”, imagining the couple 30 years later, and seeing the relationship more from the woman’s point of view.

George always insisted that “Everything She Wants” was his all-time favorite Wham! song, and he performed it regularly in concert.

#80s music #1984 #wham!#popmusic #andy warhol #christmas no. 1 #UK #george michael

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skepticalarrie · 2 years ago

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Hello Allie

I´m from another fandom (Katy Perry), but I am familiar with Harry Styles (some of his songs) and the whole Larry Styles discourse. I am very curious to ask you this since, in my own fandom, I don't have to deal with the stuff you Directioners deal with (luckily ;). So, from the point of view of an outsider (me), it seems very difficult to enjoy Harry's songwriting. I have no idea how you people do that, and I'll explain why.

I know that Harry Styles is the big thing right now, and I know from a few other artists that big artists usually need to use stunt songs to make their albums interesting (like Halsey said, for example).

So, my question to you is actually; how can you (as a harry stan who doesn't believe the womanizer image but does believe he is with Louis) enjoy his songs when there are so many stunt mentions in there? For example:

''Leave America'' in As It Was

Beechwood cafe in Falling

''Wandering hands'' in Falling

The voicemail thing in Cherry

Finally, I have another question. I have read a little about people who believe in Larry Styles, and I wanted to know how you all know (from Harry's lyrics) if it is a stunt song OR if it is about his relationship with Louis? Like, how do you distinguish that? Because I wouldn't be able to know whether (for example) ''wandering hands'' was about his relationship with Louis or a PR girlfriend. So how do you know that?

Thank you in advance, Allie. You seem such a nice person, by the way :)

Oh, I love Katy Perry! This is a fun cross-over 🤗 This is a pretty long answer, sorry:

I think your questions are very pertinent because these are in fact the same kind of questions a lot of people seem to struggle with around here as well. For me, it's quite simple, Harry is a fantastic musician, performer and songwriter. He is so much bigger than his stunts, or his closeting. So, yes, it sucks that stunts need to happen and that he openly uses that on his music sometimes, I wish it was different, but I'm not letting that ruin my experience. Stunt songs are also good songs most of the time, and it's up to you what you will make out of it... because also the wonderful thing about Harry's songs is that he doesn't talk about them, he's not going to give you the meaning or the answer. So you can take from them whatever makes more sense to you and what makes you connect with the songs. So the examples that you used like AIW, Falling... these are not even stunt songs IMO, it's just one line that is just assumed it's linked to stunts. And I have a hundred other different interpretations of these two that make more sense to me. So honestly, most of the time these lines and assumptions become irrelevant to me pretty quickly. The two songs that were truly kind of ruined for me because of stunts are Cherry and Watermelon Sugar, which are the only two songs he openly talked about the meaning of it and all of that. I think a line was crossed with these and that made me enjoy it less. But not really because of the stunt, but more because it turned into something forced and less honest, so that was the bottom line when it comes to my experience of enjoying his music.

Another point - and that's already linked to your second question - is that Harry is also incredibly smart in his songwriting, he loves double meanings and he mastered that since back in 1D days. He will give you the stunt line, or stunt connection, but that doesn't make his songwriting less honest or less autobiographical. So take songs like Carolina and Cinema, these were obviously made with stunts in mind... but they're so obviously about drugs if you truly stop to analyse the song and not what is being said superficially. He does that all the time, his songs are so layered! And once you start cracking the code of his songwriting and his sense of humour, it's kind of funny to see people thinking he wrote a song about OW while in reality he's living his best life talking about gay sex and poppers between the lines.

But it's easy to pick up whether it's a stunt line/song or not, because if it fits a certain narrative being told on tabloids... well, it's because that line is supposed to be there to create all the commotion. Fine Line was the "break up" and "cheating" album, so there are a bunch of lines there that could be interpreted that way, which is not a coincidence. And like I said, people will make interpretations according to what they know and believe, but it's not necessarily what is being told there. Personally, I think that what a lot of people seem to interpret as "break up" in their songs, it's about spending time apart and struggling with their closeting. And that's when all the context and patterns over the years start contributing to these interpretations. Because listen... we've been watching Harry and Louis closely for many years, so you inevitably start to piece things together and you start to make sense of it.

Harry's songs are incredibly layered and I think people end up frustrated when they don't realise that and try to oversimply things and want definitive answers about things. When in reality, there are so many different ways of looking at it, so many different interpretations and people will just believe what makes more sense, because at the end of the day it's all guessing and that's it 🤷‍♀️

I hope that I was able to give the answer you were looking for. Oh! and by the way, their "ship name" is Larry Stylinson, I find it super cute that you kept referring to them as Larry Styles jahsjahskj 😂

#ask #songwriting #stunt songs #stunt lines

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dp-marvel94 · 2 years ago

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Meta for Face to Face Chapter 54

First off, thank to anyone who read this chapter and this long post. This chapter was one of the most self indulgant things I have ever written. XD So many concert memories went into it. I'll talk about some of them below. There are also links to the songs "performed in the chapter" as well as some videos of each band performing live. As I told my sister after I wrote the scenes at the beginning when the trio met Josh and Travis, writing dialogue for the real people felt like playing with dolls, but in the worst, most embarrassing possible way. (Don't worry, I actually got permission from everyone featured, but more about that at the end). So I watched a lot of videos and tried my best to make everything accurate and use actual quotes when I could.

Chaotic Resemblance- Travis and the rest of the guys are from Oklahoma if that helps with imagining his accent. It's not particularly unique but when I was writing him this chapter and trying to remember how he speaks, that twang is what my brain kept remembering. Travis and all the guys are super nice, awesome to talk to. And on the short list of irl people who know about my fic writing.

Two songs are mentioned in the chapter. First- "Virtual Reality"

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And Second- "Riot Anthem". Live video here. The band played this song the first time I saw them and I remember that set vividly for how much fun this song was. It definitely pushed me to run back to the merch table and buy a cd.

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Relent- The first song mentioned is "Ghost," of the famed T shirt which I have Danny buy and which I bought irl. XD

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"Heavy" - (Video of this song at Uprise 2022). The words I have Miggy say before the song are based on his commentary on the lyric book for their album. "Rape. Sexual Manipulation. Sex Trafficking. The devasting emotions that come with it. This song is my wife’s story, and I'm honored to tell it. She’s been through so much. She has come out victorious, and now her story will help millions, breaking the silence around topics not talked about enough." Admittedly, much heavier (no pun intended) than the blurb in the fic. But when applying the song to Danny and his story, I needed to make some changes.

I have Heavy be a emotionally significant song for Danny in this chapter. When I was thinking about his reaction to each band and songs I wanted to feature, I realized that it made sense for that song to be the token "song you cry to". It just made sense, having previously said that he listened to the album a bunch of times and having him list Heavy as a favorite, that that song would have had an emotional impact. I really wish I had thought to put that fact in the text before now so that little character moment doesn't feel like it come from nowhere. But what are you gonna do? 🤷‍♀️

(A bit of religious discussion below)

Also, I have Danny talk to the band a little bit about what the song meant to him, something I've done and seen done with many bands before. The band offers to pray with him and though that has never happened personally with me with Relent (of the 4 bands here, they are actually the one I have seen the fewest times and know the least), I have had other Christian musicianaries (musicians who view their touring and performing as a ministry) offer to pray with me and I have accepted that offer. Not including that moment would have been a disservice, considering how much I love all these groups and respect what they stand for. But I decided to cut away from the actual scene to give a sense of privacy. It felt right for something often so tender.

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And the last song, played when Danny first spots Johnny- "Last Days"

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GFM- Cries in GFM broken up. 😭 Seriously though, this band consisted of three sisters, who went they started we all teens. I realized after writing the chapter that for the time I am imaging for the story (just before they disbanded last year), calling the oldest two teens would be inaccurate; CJ and Maggie are both in their early twenties. But I decided to keep it since them all being teens would make the group cooler in the Phantom trio's eyes. And I should mention, they're not entirely out of the scene though; the basest and screamer, Maggie, still tours and makes music under her name, Magdalene Rose.

As for the songs featured- The one during sound check is "Give me a Sign"

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S.M.I.L.E- (Live video) The song where Jack gets in the circle pit. XD Inspired by my dad getting in circle pit at metal shows. He's 53 now and broke his leg last year, messing up his knee pretty badly, so his moshing days are over. But as recently as Warped tour 2017, he was still doing it. I'm over here too clumsy and short to even think about it; just head banging is good enough for me, thanks. 🤣

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And the last song- "I don't need your fantasy" A Sam Manson song if I've ever heard one. Also, this is the song with the famed cupcakes. (Sadly, I couldn't find a video of this on YouTube to demo 😥) I really wanted to write about the ridiculous fanatical joy that comes with having icing and cake thrown at you during a metal show. 🤣 Words can't really capture the experience but I tried.

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The Protest- In the chapter, the trio meets Josh at the merch tables before the show. This is very reminiscent of when I met him actually. This was in 2016. My sister and I drove about 2 hrs for the show; they were playing with another band we knew of and we'd heard a few songs by The Protest on a local radio station. We arrived super early and went to the door of the tiny church they were playing in to beg to use the restroom before the doors opened. Josh came right up to us before we even got to the restroom. He introduced himself as Josh, asked our names, shook our hands, and said he was excited we were here tonight. And the whole time, I was thinking about needing to use toilet and didn't even realize who he was until the show started. XD The band was significantly less popular then but I know from going to a dozen plus shows since then, he (and the rest of the guys in the band) are like that with everyone. So I am being absolutly serious in the chapter; Josh Bramlett is one of the kindest, most genuine people I know.

The first song is "Paper Tiger." The sound goes out because of Shadow, during this song and the guitarist stales for time. His name is Adam, nickname Sarge, but I couldn't figure out how to put that in the text. The joke that he tells in the one his real life counterpart suggested when I asked him in March. I also based rest of the what he said during technical malfunctions (the joke about being voted out of the band) during their set when I saw them last October with Disciple.

The next song- "Welcome to the Freakshow" This is my favorite song of theirs to hear live. It's so much fun to head-bang/dance to! Also, Maddie films her son instead of the band, as my mom likes to do to me and my sister. 😝

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This message in between the songs- This is word for word part of what Josh said during their set at Kingdom Come Festival 2022; I looked up the video (Message starts at 31:40) and recorded what he said word-for-word to be accurate to Josh and the guy's conviction and the heart behind what they do. It was really important to me that I was authentic there, since I love these guys and what they stand for so much.

And the last song- "Valor." When I was trying to pick which song to end on, I wanted a very specific feeling. I told my sister I was trying to describe that rare moment when you're singing your heart out and you met someone else's eyes and they're singing the same words with the same passion. There's a moment of connection and you know you both believe every single word. I asked what Protest song it should be and she said "Valor." So I went with it.

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Guardians of the Children- From their website.

Guardians of the Children is a nonprofit 501(c)3 organization comprised of motorcycle enthusiasts that use motorcycles as tools to help children who have overcome child abuse, ages 0-17, become strong, confident, and courageous again. Once a child has made an outcry of abuse and the criteria for our support is met, that child is “adopted” into our family as a Little Guardian. Members of G.O.C will escort the child to court, attend school and social events at the child’s request, provide protection and support, and sponsor “Little Guardian” private events, yearly. The goal of these events is to provide a safe space where the Little Guardians can have fun,socialize with others that have experienced similar trauma, and forget for a moment about the fear, doubt, and insecurity that was forced upon them at such a young age. Every child has all the power and strength within themselves, just like a motorcycle on the open road, and the biker behind it, we just encourage them to unleash it as we fight their demons together.

A few years I went to a show they hosted at a local park, featuring GFM and Chaotic Resemblance, hence the similarities to the concert here.

Gotta Rock ‘em all Tour - This is the name of the tour The Protest hosted in March this year, thought the line up was different from the one imagined here (In real life, Behold the Beloved, Relentless Flood, and The Protest). I was lucky enough to see them on this tour. And got to tell the guys about this chapter. 😳😅😊 Honestly, it was one of the most embarrassing thing's I've ever done but in good conscious, I couldn't not say anything, especially since I have talked to Josh about my writing before.

(Religious discussion to follow)

Their song "Greater" had been really important for me, to remind me about why I do what I do. And at KCF last year, I talked with him about that song and our shared conviction for a little bit. From the song:

"I don't do it for the money Don't do it for the fame As long as someone listens, I don't care who knows my name I don't do it for the glory Don't do it for the game I do it all to make them see this is all for something greater than me"

My goal isn't to write for the comments, hits, or bookmarks. Not being well known in the fandom or well liked by people. I write for a greater purse. And this greater thing is Jesus Christ and his kingdom. I love Jesus for who He is and what He's done for me, in and through me (and that is a whole long, complex story there). But a small part: I fervently believe writing these stories is one of the reasons God put me here and gave me the interests I do (yes, including DP) and the talent in writing I have. From the messages I sent to The Protest and the other bands in this chapter, asking if they wanted to take a look at the chapter.

"I write this story for fun and post because I love the characters and the community of other people who do too. But I also see it as a mission field, as a way to write about God's love and grace and show it to people who otherwise wouldn't hear. This chapter is also a love letter to the Christian Rock community as a whole. I love you guys, your music, and the community a lot. The Protest, other bands, and fellow fans have had a huge impact on my life: encouraging me, inspiring me, reminding me of Jesus's love and strengthening my conviction to serve Him. The Protest inspires me to write, ministering in the way I know I've been called."

The point is: I put a lot of heart into this story and all my others. I pray that God will guide my words and be glorified in them. I pray that the people who need to read them will, and they will be encouraged, strengthened and inspired. And most importantly- that God will speak to them, not me. That they will, that you will, see just a hint of His love and grace in what I write and in how I interact with people in this community. I pray that lives will be changed, even in small ways. That seeds will be planted, even if I never see them grow.

I love all of you.

#Youtube #My fic #My Fic extras #Face to Face #My post #christianity #tw christianity #tw religious #religious

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25than · 2 months ago

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AY24.25 CTS B WEEK 2 - CONNECTING THEORY AND PRACTICE

For week 2, we were introduced to the idea of finding out our overall 'theory'(a summary) of our practice (our identities, our daily lives, etc.). We then each created a board of words and images of how we see/describe ourselves.

I put out this moodboard from a very physical aspect, in terms of what i like. But from this it kind of got me thinking about what kind of person I am, pulling away from a physical aspect. From a personal point of view, my identity largely revolves around music. I have always been brought up with a huge love for music, initally starting out with classic rock that my dad brought me on, and eventually building my own taste, diving deeper into rock subgenres like shoegaze, punk, metal, etc. I think a reason why i take so much pride in my music is because it is something that I have carefully catered to myself, and most of the music that I indulge in often evokes alot of emotions in me, be it good or bad, and I think that eventually develops into a very tightly knit bond between me and my music. I take pride in the fact that my taste and my culture spawned from within me and was not inspired or pulled from someone else. I'm also someone who has taken after my dad alot. After all he was the one who brought me up on the music I love, and was always the one that pushed me to do better, to be someone who seeks challenge. I've come to realise that I'm someone who is very strong-headed, someone who is very strong-opinionated, one who is not easily wavered in terms of a moral compass. Looking at back at conversations with friends about personality types, I've also come to realise that I am someone who is not largely affected by judgement or views by others as well. This is not necessarily a good thing though, as it does mean that I am a pretty stubborn guy too (also taken from my dad).

As for my Social ID, I'm a Christian, so I've always felt a sense of home and belonging in church! I actually spend most of my time serving and having fun alongside my friends in Church, and have always loved spending time in the presence of something so much greater. Sometimes I do feel like I am getting pushed out of church by some people, based off how I look, the way i dress, or even the music i listen to. But as mentioned previously, I've always been one to be pretty ignorant when it comes to how people view me, and from my own perspective, my love for God far outweighs anything else, so I still strongly find my identity in my religion and commitment to God. Artistically, I definitely draw more from my personal ID, as music and art from my eyes are basically the same thing, so most of my work that i put out tends to draw alot of inspiration from the music i listen to, be it the music itself, the colours/textures associated with, or even the clothing that some of my favourite musicians wear. I have been trying to incorporate more of my social ID into my work though, as I am really passionate about it as well.

Our second activity was to sketch a self portrait of using our art styles.

My portrait pretty much encapsulated my 'style', I am someone who likes harsh linework and a maximalist. As you can tell it is very influenced by the genre of rock music.

(604 words)

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amberedcorpse · 11 days ago

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The cold was pleasant on his skin, and for that reason alone he was urged to step closer, to ease the warmth of his blood-wine with a nip of tundra. But he was drawn instead to think on their answer, lured by a riddle which hadn't meant to be one, not exactly. Where I come from there is only moon and no moon at all anymore. His precious shadow was silent, the musicians resumed their simple trilling, and the orgies around them amassed to piles of limbs and willing mouths. It had been a while since he was free to wonder without the ceaseless interference of Mischief and Temptation. Though that in itself was something to ponder. There and not there, he thought, an absent moon that persisted– perhaps? The fool was sure their moon hadn’t disappeared recently, so this was clearly a place out of the bounds of his own two legs. Or one his god hadn’t thrown him into, like a puppet propped onto a new stage. He watched them through the fractured reflection, reaching with the blessing of his eyes for further hints of the truth, until the witch searched for something just beneath the partition of their coat.

Felix turned, and saw that all eyes were upon the other, every mad woman and spirit bound to the edges of their icy ring. The vial in the cradle of their claws looked simple. Yet it had pulled the revelers from their celebration, hushed them to rows of threatening onlookers, almost covetous in the turn of their stares. Finally, his shadow pierced the silence with a hum, and he watched that stretch of darkness on the floor walk forward without him, circling around the room as if to get a better view of those undulating shades. One second the color of sea-foam and the next the color of a dried coral bed.

"Ante el dulce deliquio que le miente

la luna, riendo en el cristal del lago,

loco de amor el ruiseñor se siente,

y respondiendo al amoroso halago,

hunde el pico en el agua transparente

y se bebe la luna trago a trago."

He recognized the verses, had even read the rest of them in the heat of a summer’s night, with night-birds and coquíes singing from the trees. That time he had come out of the old house, pocket book in hand, and sat under the boughs of a ceiba. He’d traced the lines with his fingers, lit the pages with a flashlight, and watched the moon whenever she peeked through her curtains. That was years before he was chosen, and she had changed so much since then. Back when he thought he was going to die, when his string of life seemed so pitifully short (because sacrifices weren’t spared of the knowledge of their doom even as children), she had swallowed his vision with the grandeur of her light. A silent companion, a cold but compassionate friend. She had been there for him as others hadn’t. As parents hadn’t.

But now, as with everything and everyone, she’d drawn away from him too. No longer a companion, but a pinprick in the sky, an image on a still lake, the delusion of a dumb and flighty bird. The god laughed behind his ear, suddenly so close, and mocked the trickle of sadness shown on the slope of his frown. Felix’s lips twitched and he stood back from the other man, his back against the shattered glass. Confused, he wasn’t sure how to feel about the liquid or the fact they were showing it to him. This seemed like a trap.

“What is that? Am I supposed to know? How fun.”

His hand reached, wondering if it was actually being offered, but was swiftly strung back to his side. The grip, and slight reprimand, had been harsh enough to leave prints along his wrist, red and already bruising marks that spoke of large claws rather than hands.

You know better. Why would a witch give you anything for free? Focus and remember what it looks like. I might want it someday.

Connections were made for him in his head, as a spectral hand rummaged through the wrinkles of his brain, cementing the appearance of the vial to his memory. The involuntary injection of thoughts and ideas, the jab of something he hadn’t meant to be there, was painful enough to make him wince and recoil slightly. He blinked a few times to get rid of the shocking afterimage temporarily staining his vision.

“Why are you showing me this?”

Or was it all just for the god, a kind of sign or coded message only they'd understand. Was that what that silence had been? A quiet acknowledgement of something which ran deeper than laylines? Maybe he was still being teased. Though somehow he doubted that.

Briefly his eyes wandered, taking in from his position and from where he stood the movement that came from the other side of the room. Switching between looking out the window and back a moment later, only to see that the suffering man not only got up but approached him. He should have rested a little longer, Alexander thought but did not dare speak it. He did not dare open his mouth in motivation of false hopes or gentleness that was misplaced, offered untimely, because whatever had taken hold of the other was present a little too much and a little too strongly for his taste (and for his senses. Sensing it and something else with them in the room, yet unable to see it. Unable to see it. Underlined by the observation made.

You don’t have the sight.

He did. Yet not for this. And perhaps for a whole lot of other things, neither. Powers, entities that clung to the shadows, to the veils. Silken-thin and weaved between layers and worlds, even within time itself. Spinning its spidery web of deceit and intrigue, of bad that was left in cocoons to mature and break open when least expected to sow chaos anew that those that came after and those that came before had to deal with equally.

No, he did not see it, whatever it was the voice that tickled the witch's ears, that whispered and hummed and pried its way into the back of his head with a surgical precision and graceless cold that rivaled his very own. A voice that tickled and stirred and praised and scorned. As curious as the condition of Felix had left him as much he grew increasingly worried by the extent the posession had grown to be. For a fleeting moment Alexander wondered whether all of this had already grown over his head.

You don’t have my tongue either.

A low huff was all that came in response. An exaggerated breathing-out that could well have become a soft laugh if the man giving it would not be so stunted in his feelings, not so cut off from the devil-may-care attitude. The sound was some effort in lighting the mood between them yet it was a poor one.

Instead of trying for a better retort he simply listened, hearing the other man approach even more, so much that they both could look at the window, and the closeness – the presence – of the shackled man that tip-toed around him (stalked, it felt like, knowing what it was that led him, that followed behind) was motivation enough for Alexander to try and calm himself, control himself better. To suppress the crashing waves of inner turmoil overlapping and drowning his shores, pushing the cold water back with stern yet gentle hands into the abyssal depths it had sprung from. To calm down. To cool out less. To not eat up the warmth within the ruined building and to not let the freezing air nip at flushed skin.

„Where I come from there is only moon and no moon at all anymore.“

Briefly his head turned again, catching and examining the profile of Felix now as he stood much closer, offering him a better view and bathing him in a scent (wine) that was welcoming but also made his heart sting further. He looked at his face and the good-looking young man that he was, that could have done so much more with his life than this. To his wine-stained skin and clothes. To the scar that set around his neck, the sickle, shaped as the very thing that had been taken from his world so violently. The moon. Ever-present. In the sky even if the son had long claimed the domain as home. Carried in the color of his own eyes. Left in the shape of that same scar that had branded, gutted and grotesquely reshaped the existence of this very man. Left in...

The raven-haired man seemed entirely oblivious to the fact that his word made no sense, until he paused and his breath hitched in his throat. Lowering his gaze one of his hands reached yet again underneath the cloak worn; in chest height. Having fallen into thoughts his movement was a little more reluctant this time, hesitant even, as though considering whether he even should. Wanting to further soothe the rifts created between them however, to prove to Felix that he was not just all trickery and all play, he pulled from his chest pocket a little vitreous thing.

The moment it was pulled from beneath the darkly-colored fabric the liquid contents began to glimmer and shine, swaying with the movement subjected to not like water would but a little thicker (a miracle in itself, given that it should have long frozen over through the cold secreted). Its color cool and strange, holding subtle tinges of blues and lilacs that glistened on the surface of what looked like molten silver.

Holding it trapped between the sharp ends of silver talons he held it in front of the revenant, the deity and all those invisibly merging and consorting around them.

A small vial of precious liquid moonlight.

#.ic #.Felix #.and I am not dead (Felix : main)#malefikant #verses from El Ruiseñor by Ricardo Miró

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katyldamusic · 3 years ago

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Måneskin: No one should feel exluded (interview for onet.pl)

Please forgive me any mistakes. It’s 2 am.

"Our image is a form of expression. We stand behind everyone who gets hurt. People shouldn't judge anyone because they can hurt someone a lot," say the members of the Måneskin. The group recently won the Eurovision Song Contest and will now perform at the Polsat Sopot SuperHit Festival. "We want people to understand our message being "no one should feel excluded," they add.

-Måneskin won the 65th Eurovision Song Contest in Rotterdam with the song "Zitti E Buoni"

-The group's sound is defined by musical eclecticism - from rock through rap, hip hop, reggae to funk and pop. All of this is linked by Damiano's phenomenal voice

-"We can be very proud of ourselves, because we owe our success to hard work" - say young musicians who came to Poland, where they will perform during the Sopot SuperHit Festival

Q: Congratulations on your big success at Eurovision. Were you surprised or the rumors that you are the favorites calmed you down a bit?

Victoria: We were nervous until the last second. Until the end, we did not believe that we could win. We are not a typical band that can take first place in this competition.

Damiano: Ethan's face said everything (laughs).

Ethan: Exactly. No one should have doubts that the win surprised us (laughs).

Q:After the competition, it was huge buzz about a glass that you broke. Has this "scandal" stopped shocking your fans?

Damiano: I hope so! We didn't understand at all why everyone was so surprised that we broke a glass (laughs). In fact, we were well aware that rumors like this always set the biggest fire. It's just part of our popularity.

Q: How did your friends react when you told them you wanted to participate in Eurovision? This is quite an unusual idea for a rock and roll band.

Victoria: We never took the Eurovision Song Contest lightly. We did not even think that our style did not fit there. For us, the most important message was that rock and roll never died. For two years we have been constantly trying to prove to everyone that guitar sounds are timeless

Many people threw obstacles at our feet and told us that we had no chance to be successful. We went to Rotterdam and showed them that we are capable of anything!

Q: So plan to conquer Eurovision was well thought out?

Victoria: Of course! That is why we performed at the San Remo festival. It was the beginning of our evil plan (laughs). Later we went to Eurovision and proved that even at such a mainstream concert rock'and'roll will be the top! I guess we did pretty well.

Q: But you probably did not expect such popularity. There are huge crowd in front of the building where we are talking. On TikTok, your music breaks records of popularity. Are you ready to conquer the world?

Damiano: I don't want to seem very cocky(*tricky to translate, "cocky" or not very modest"), but we've always dreamed about it. Of course, we did not care about fame, but we wanted our music to reach the widest audience possible. We really did everything to get to this place. We can be very proud of ourselves because we owe our success to hard work.

Q: Meetings with fans must be very enjoyable experience.

Damiano: It's really crazy. We love our fans and hope that there will be more of them over time.

Q: Many countries in Europe are very conservative. Your image may still shock many. What would you say to your *?(*tricky again. literall translation - opponents, but i think "people who are against you" fits better)

Damiano: First of all, I would like to emphasize that we do not feel like people who would dictate anything to someone. Image is a form of our expression. Of course, we stand behind everyone who gets hurt. People should not judge anyone because they can do great harm to others. We will not change the world overnight. However, as people whose music reaches so many people, we know that we can change reality a litlle bit.

Victoria: We want people to understand our message is, that no one should feel left out. Our image has no boundaries - which is why it may still shock some more conservative audiences. Let's be honest - how is a man with painted nails different from a woman?

Q: Måneskin performing at the Pride Parade - a dream for many of your fans. Would you agree to play on one?

Damiano: Of course! It would be a great honor for us! We are aware that a large proportion of our fans are members of the LGBT community and we are very proud of it.

Victoria: It's stupid that some bands still ashamed of Parades. After all, i'ts a great honor.

Q: Let's change a subject for a moment. Today we are in Sopot. The seaside capital of music in Poland. Have you had the chance to lie on the beach?

Victoria: Are you kidding me! We got here about two hours ago. We don't have time for anything. We say this almost every day, that it would be fun to do a little sightseeing in the places we visit during our promotional tour. We are going back to Milan soon, so Poland is the last stop of our adventure.

Q: Well, you are going on another tour in a moment. Tell us what we can expect at your concerts. I understand that the performance at the festival in Sopot will be just an innocent announcement (laughs), and we will see your true face at Open'er Park?

Victoria: Our concerts we are definitely crazier.

Damiano: We missed performing on stage. We haven't been able to perform for a long time due to the coronavirus pandemic. That is why we are really grateful that we can play at such festivals as the one in Sopot. This is another part of the plan we mentioned earlier (laughs).

Q: You won Eurovision. If, however, you took second place, who would you give the "crown" to?

Måneskin: Ukraine!

Damiano: I think Go_A did more or less the same as us. They showed all of Europe that rock music is still crashing the system! They didn't try to please anyone. They were themselves and this won the hearts of many fans.

Q: Vicotria, there are only guys in the band! How do you feel as the only woman surrounded by gentlemen?

Victoria: Great! I can't imagine our band looking any different. We are a wonderful family and we support each other every day.

Damiano: We understand when Victoria has her moods (laughs).

Victoria: Stop it! I feel no different from you. I'm just a member of Måneskin. I don't feel any different!

Ethan: Besides, everyone knows that I am the real woman in the band (laughs).

Q: If you weren't making music, what would you be doing?

Ethan: Music. There is no force in this world that prevents us from making music.

Damiano: Exactly! We are musicians who do not see each other in normal work.

If I couldn't make my own music, I would probably be a producer who would come up with melodies for other artists.

Victoria: Or we would teach to play instruments. People need to understand that music is part of our lives and we cannot imagine that there could be a reality in which we do not create.

Q: You are traveling a lot now. You are in a different city almost every day. What was the craziest thing that happened to you on this tour?

Måneskin: SWEDEN!

Victoria: There were some crazy events during our visit to Sweden. Security services had to close the entire street because so many fans showed up outside our hotel.

Damiano: At one point, the police were called and they had to control the crowd.

Q:Now you are going back to Italy. Does that mean fans can expect even more new music soon?

Damiano: We are currently promoting us the mini-album "Teatro D'ira. Volume 1", but you are right, when we come back we lock ourselves up in the studio and work on new music. However, we don't want to reveal anything because that would spoil the surprise for our fans.

Victoria: We need time. We don't want to feel pressured because then the music will lose its value.

Damiano: Be patient.

#måneskin #maneskin #maneskin interview #damiano david #damiano maneskin #victoria de angelis #victoria maneskin #ethan torchio #ethan maneskin #thomas raggi #thomas maneskin #my translation #forgive me any mistakes #i'ts 2 am #i'm going to sleep #goodnight

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pink-flame · 4 years ago

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14 and 69 for Juke 😊

So I’m pretty sure I was only supposed to describe how I would write these combinations but where’s the fun in that? So I just went ahead and wrote it. Also someone else requested one that includes the bodyguard prompt so there will be a part 2 soonish. Enjoy! 💜

Bodyguard AU + Flirting under fire

Julie sighed for the third time in the last two minutes.

“Can you stop that?”

The exasperated voice expressing annoyance with her impatience was her best friend/assistant Alex. They’d been best friends since middle school and when Julie’s music career started to take off everyone had tried to convince them that working together was a disaster waiting to happen. She had worked herself up over how her being his boss would ruin everything until she finally told him how worried she was.

“Won’t you feel, I don’t know demeaned, being my assistant?”

“Jules, I’ll be assisting you to survive which you’ll never do without me. Stop overthinking.”

And five years later she was a lot better at that. She was a 22 year old successful musician, her second album and first national tour right around the corner. Unlike when they were 17 she had learned her best results always came when she was able to listen to her instincts and go with the flow.

Unless she was waiting in the lobby of her label waiting for her new bodyguard to show up. A bodyguard who was officially late, a fact that she didn’t hesitate to inform Alex of.

“By like 2 minutes, chill,” He insisted, tapping away on his phone probably arranging the rest of her day as his thumbs flew over the screen.

“Alex, if my bodyguard is late I could end up dead,” She reminded him.

“Someone’s feeling dramatic today,” Alex looked up and nodded toward the other side of the lobby. “Maybe that’s him.”

Julie turned to look and instantly shook her head.

“No way. There’s no such thing as a cute bodyguard.”

Alex raised an eyebrow at her confident statement.

“I’m pretty sure that’s just a harmful bodyguard stereotype.”

Julie wasn’t so sure. In her experience bodyguards tended to be stoic, middle aged men built like linebackers. This guy on the other hand was young, probably within a year or two of her, with shaggy hair and a bouncy energy visible even from across the room. It was true that even through his vintage band tee she could see that he was kind of ridiculously muscular but so was her personal trainer and she wouldn’t want Dante standing between her and a crazed stalker.

She stood by her first assessment though. He was definitely cute.

He was also looking around the room, his eyes landing on her and a perfect smile stretching across his face.

“You’re uh, not bodyguard is heading this way,” Alex observed.

Julie could see that.

“Are you Julie Molina?” He asked as he came to a stop directly in front of her. “I’m Luke, your new bodyguard. Nice to meet you.”

“You’re my new bodyguard?” She repeated incredulously. “And you’re not sure who I am?”

Luke shrugged, his smile seemingly unaffected by her borderline rude response.

“I was pretty sure. And your label wanted to hire someone who could blend in more easily, offer you some protection without ruining your image as approachable.”

“Oh,” Julie turned to Alex who was watching the exchange with interest. “Did you know about this?”

Her best friend smirked.

“They may have mentioned something.”

Julie was starting to feel as though she had been set up. She turned back to Luke who was still rocking slightly on his heels, standing still not seeming to be his thing. He really did not seem like the type who could intimidate an attacker but he did seem like the type who would be really distracting to have standing around if he was going to keep smiling at her like that.

So she was in trouble in multiple ways.

She did her best to keep her face neutral when she spoke again.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you too, Luke. Everyone on my team is hired on a trial basis, so we’ll see how it goes ok?”

Luke reached up to salute.

“Ok, boss. Where we headed?”

Julie definitely did not find his insistence on being casual paired with that hard to place accent attractive. Definitely not.

Lucky for her, his attractiveness was soon offset by his ability to drive her absolutely crazy. Other than Alex he was by her side more than anyone over the next few months. He followed her to recording sessions, he followed her to music video shoots, and he followed her to fan meet and greets. But he was expected to follow her on personal excursions too and he seemed incapable of doing so silently. He made running commentary on the groceries she bought (always late at night to lower the chances of being recognized). He gave her unsolicited tips on what weights she should be lifting while she worked out. And worst of all was his insistence on giving her unasked for feedback on her music.

He wasn’t familiar with her work at all, or at least he never showed a hint of recognition when she brought up her previous songs or album. But he had a lot of opinions on what she was working on now.

“You know if you added some echoes in the chorus that song could be sick,” He remarked one day as he escorted her home after a long studio session.

Julie groaned and let her head flop back on the seat of the car they were currently being driven in.

“And you know your job is to keep me alive, not actually to critique my musical choices, right?”

He shrugged.

“I’m a good multitasker.”

And the most annoying part was he was always right. At least about the music. He seemed to always sense when she was stuck and somehow pipe up with the exact thing she needed to hear to get the music flowing again. Suggesting a tweak to a lyric or humming a guitar riff he thought she should try. It got to the point where she sometimes sought out his opinion before he could offer it on his own. He was clearly a musician as well as the world’s most unorthodox bodyguard.

He made her a better writer and if the way he grinned when he particularly liked one of her ideas was any indication, she thought she might make him better too.

She wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of saying that out loud though.

So they went on like that for a few more months. Julie never brought up his trial period again and he continued to both annoy and intrigue her daily. So far he hadn’t actually had to do much protecting though. He had helped her escape a few overly excited twelve year olds once but that was about it.

Until it wasn’t.

Julie had heard plenty of stories about celebrities whose over enthusiastic fans had crossed the line to full on stalking. She just never thought it would happen to her. She always felt so close to her fans, so connected by the music she made for them. But when she came home one day and found the door to her condo ajar she realized she may have been a little naive.

She knew she should wait for Luke, he had been held up in the lobby checking in with the building security but he should be right behind her. He always did a sweep before leaving her for the evening. But it wouldn’t be the first time she had neglected to lock her own door when she left. She had so much on her mind right now. Maybe...maybe she had left it open?

She had the whole top floor of the building to herself, you needed a special key to even get up here in the elevator. It was hard to believe someone else had managed that.

Julie eased through the slightly open door and hesitated a few steps inside. Everything seemed normal maybe…

Then she heard it. Someone was in her bedroom and it sounded like they were going through her drawers. Her stomach sank. Should she run for the door? Or would that alert whoever was in there and send them after her?

Suddenly there was a presence behind her and Julie was just on the brink of letting out an involuntary yell when a familiar hand came down to grip her shoulder.

“Shhh,” Luke whispered directly into her ear. “Come on.”

He guided her backwards to one of her closets and pulled them inside quickly, somehow managing to pull the door closed behind them soundlessly. Julie’s heart thumped wildly in her chest as she tried to keep her breathing silent. Luke positioned himself between her and the closet door, keeping one hand on her shoulder and the other resting over his belt.

Did he have a knife hidden under that band tee? A gun? Why had she never asked any questions about how exactly he was prepared to protect her before?

Still. She had to admit she felt as safe with him as she would with anyone. All of the characteristic movement she associated with Luke had drained out of him, leaving him incredibly still but still thrumming with focused energy. He was listening at the door and she could see his brain cycling through calculations of what he would do next. She had a sudden fear of him leaving her, even if it was in an attempt to defend her.

She reached out without thinking and grabbed for his hand that had been resting on her shoulder and wrapped it in hers, holding on for dear life.

He glanced back at their linked hands and then up to her face offering her a soft smile that felt more like the Luke she knew. Somehow just that was enough to let her breaths come a little easier.

“You’re ok,” He whispered.

She nodded but didn’t drop his hand.

“Did you see them? Are they armed?”

He nodded once and Julie swallowed hard.

“Just stay put for a second,” Luke whispered again. “Backup is on the way and I’ve got you.”

Julie nodded. She believed him.

She focused on keeping her breathing steady and quiet. Soon she had calmed down enough to realize just how close they were to each other. It was a small closet just meant to toss a coat or two into when you walked in the door. Julie considered herself lucky that she hadn’t gotten around to putting anything in this particular closet or she would have been smothered by fabric right now. As it stood she was seated on the ground pressed directly up against Luke where he crouched against the door, their bodies touching in just about every way they could be.

This was not the time to be thinking about how big his eyes looked from this close or how those little bits of his hair that flipped up were tickling her cheek or how he smelled really, really good.

It wasn’t the time but that didn’t stop her from thinking about all of it.

Fear did strange things to people, ok?

Only it wasn’t just the fear because she had definitely noticed all of those things before. They just hadn’t been quite so in her face. Literally.

“Thanks,” He whispered, amusement clear in his hushed tone.

Julie snapped back to reality.

“For what?” She whispered back.

“You said I smell good. Really, really good,” He replied leaning in even closer so he could say it directly into her ear.

Julie froze in mortification.

“I didn’t.”

“You did.”

“No, that didn’t happen.”

He leaned back as far as he could go which wasn’t far and smiled before reaching up with his free hand to push a curl away from her face.

“Whatever you say, boss,” He said with his most annoying smirk.

Only she wasn’t annoyed. At all.

Trouble.

She had known he would be trouble.

Suddenly a floorboard creaked directly in front of the closet and Julie dropped his hand so she could slap her own over her mouth and muffle the whimper that tried to escape.

Luke was suddenly all business again, raising his finger to shush her before reaching for the door handle. Before she could react he had yanked the door open and was leaping out.

Julie thought she might have screamed but she wasn’t sure. She heard a scuffle but kept her eyes squeezed tightly shut, afraid to open them and see Luke hurt and her stalker coming straight for her.

A few long seconds later she heard the sound of the police arriving at the same time that a hand landed softly on her arm. She flinched slightly and opened her eyes to see Luke staring down at her, thoroughly out of breath but seemingly unscathed.

“You ok?” He asked.

She nodded and allowed him to pull her to her feet and lead her out of the closet. Thankfully the police had already hauled away whoever had been in her apartment but there were a couple of officers taking notes and speaking into their radios.

One approached them where Luke was keeping her upright with an arm around her shoulder.

“You’re a very lucky lady, Miss Molina. He was unarmed and your boyfriend had him in a heck of a headlock when we got here.”

Julie blushed.

“He’s not my...wait. The guy was unarmed?”

She looked up at Luke with a look that clearly demanded answers.

“He had a pen,” He shrugged as though the significance should have been obvious.

It was not.

“A pen?” She repeated. “You made me think he had a gun!”

“Hey, do you know how many ways someone can kill you with a pen?” Luke insisted. “Spoiler alert, it’s a lot.”

The cop looked back and forth between them with confused amusement.

“Well, we’ll leave you to it. We’ll check in with your building security and try to figure out how he got in. In the meantime you might want to look into hiring some protection.”

Julie felt Luke bristle next to her and couldn’t help but smile smugly.

“You’re right, I might.”

Then they were alone and Luke was moving through each room, checking for himself to see that everything was as it should be.

Eventually on his third check, Julie grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop.

“Thank you, Luke. For everything. As much as it pains me to say it...you were amazing today.”

He grinned, and suddenly he was the Luke who followed her around and annoyed her with how right he was about everything again.

“Yeah, well, you’re amazing everyday, Boss. So I guess we’re even.”

Julie could feel herself blushing again.

Trouble.

She was in so much trouble.

#trope prompt game #fanfiction #juke #jatp #my fics

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number5theboy · 4 years ago

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Favorite song montages/music scenes?

Oooohhhhh, love this. Because I’m on a roll, I made this another list, a top ten one, just so I don’t go overboard. I really looked at this as the scenes as a whole, rather than me liking the song or the scene individually. There are songs from the soundtrack that I love way more than some on this list, but didn’t think that they worked as well with the scene they’re in as the ones that did make the list. Without further ado:

10. I’m a Man (S2E2) - Diego & Reginald Fight

I just like how the aesthetics of this fight and the vibes of the song play perfectly together. It’s a more laid-back song than most fight scenes we get, and the line ‘I’m a man, yes I am, and I can’t help but love you so’ played over Reginald, who is demonstrably not a man and definitely doesn’t love Diego gives it such an almost sarcastic tone, like Reginald is toying with Diego.

9. Exit Music (For a Film) (S1E7) / All Die Young (S1E9) / Hello (S2E5) - Group Montages of Sadness and Change

I couldn’t decide between these three, because they all basically fulfill the same function in the narrative, showcasing different characters at low or turning points, and the mood of each song just hits perfectly. The way ‘Exit Music’ ramps up to Vanya’s guilt over killing and the confirmation that Leonard is Harold Jenkins. How ‘All Die Young’ is upbeat yet melancholic as nobody but Vanya truly is at their lowest at that moment, but you feel the arrow being drawn to the inevitable conclusion to this whole mess. And ‘Hello’ hit so much harder than it had any right to, it have the Swedes some dimension, but also the interplay of music with the funeral and the siblings’ big decisions, Vanya trying to confess to Sissy, Klaus going back to his cult, Allison telling Ray the truth, Diego and Luther burying the hatchet. It’s the perfect mood for it all, and the idea to use a Swedish cover is absolutely brilliant by the music department.

8. Soul Kitchen (S1E6) - Klaus & Dave in Vietnam

The Doors and Vietnam of course perfectly fits, but using the Doors to soundtrack a gay Vietnam romance??? Awesome. I’m usually someone with an ear for lyrics rather than the music, because I just know more about it, so I like it when the lyrics match up, but in this case, I don’t know any of the lyrics. I just like the mood the music creates. It’s a club in Vietnam and they’re not dancing to a club song. I like the rift between image and sound, and the sound still creates such a charged yet comfortable atmosphere.

7. In the Heat of the Moment (S1E5) - Five’s life in the apocalypse through the years

The fact that Noel Gallagher’s snooty singing and borderline meaningless lyrics fit this scene so perfectly is a minor miracle, but they do. The na na na nas coming in with the image after the counting in before the song quiets down just to soar again over Five’s struggles. And it’s also not a song that sounds strong, that is technically perfect, it never quite reaches grandeur, and I don’t know why the atmosphere it creates goes so hand in hand with decades in an apocalyptic wasteland. And the irony of a song about having someone by your side over excruciating loneliness. Also the lyric ‘you better learn to fly ‘cause they’re gonna point you up at sky’ objectively goes harder than Noel Gallagher lyrics should.

6. Stormy Weather (S1E8) - Allison drives through the rain to find Vanya, haunted by her past actions and flashes back to when she rumoured her daughter

It’s just the perfect soundtrack to Allison’s backstory with her powers, and the fact that it’s sung by Emmy Raver-Lampman herself adds a dimension to it. The entire scene is centered around her voice, you hear her past rumours, you see her tell a story to Claire, then rumour her, and she is singing in the background. It intertwines scene and soundtrack on another level, and I love it. The combination of the sad lyrics but the more upbeat instrumentation, and how they carry into her memory........so good.

5. Shingaling (S1E4) / Pepper (S2E8) - Drug Trip Scenes

TUA has two scenes where people are tripping on drugs, and I cannot choose which one I like more. The mood for weed chocolate vs the consciousness-warping FBI drugs is so drastically different but the song choices are so perfect for both. Hazel and Cha-Cha dancing high off their asses to Shingaling, which is a chill but fun song as they commit arson, coupled with that green colouring and fun shot set-ups. Truly exquisite. Vanya getting nightmare visions in the FBI building, with the weird, disconcerting energy and lyrics of Pepper blasting, and the second-best use of scene switch at the drop that this show has pulled off this far. Stupendous.

4. Run Boy Run (S1E2) / Never Tear Us Apart (S1E2) - Five pushes his powers and lands himself in the apocalypse, where he finds his siblings’ bodies

These scenes are SO good. So good, and it’s because the music is the driving force of the emotion in that moment. Run Boy Run has exuberant energy to underline Five’s excitement as he’s testing out his powers, but it’s also somber and dark and swells at the chorus, which leads to the best scene-switch at a song’s drop in the show. The moment where Five lands in the apocalypse as the chorus becomes grand and he looks around, panicked, and when he runs frantically back to the Academy with the claps and percussion in the background? I get chills every time, and the lyrics make it, I think, the definite Five song as it pertains to his character, his characterisation, his arc, as running, in many different interpretations, is one of the key themes to Five for the entire show. The relatively short scenes really hammers in the tragedy of Five being ripped from his home at such a young age, and it gets underlined with Never Tear Us Apart. I put it with Run Boy Run because they fit together, but Never Tear Us Apart is heart-wrenching in itself. Just the imagine of Five searching through the rubble for his siblings, his small frame stumbling through the ruins, with Paloma Faith giving it her all in the soundtrack, and this heavy bass really banging us over the head with the heaviness of the situation. It’s great and sad and both scenes are carried as much by the soundtrack as they are though Aidan Gallagher’s acting.

3. The Phantom of the Opera Medley (S1E1) / I Think We’re Alone Now (S1E1) / Sister of Pearl (S2E7) - Character-establishing Montages

I am a sucker for this trope, of characters being characterised through a song playing, and TUA pulls it off so well. Phantom of the Opera shows you what the siblings do and where they are at in their lives perfectly, telling you so much with so little. It’s a great introduction and using the Phantom of the Opera, with the idea of Vanya being the phantom, the mysterious musician constantly belittled and underestimated (this is generalised, very much so, but it fits) that lashes out at some point because of the abuse they suffered, is genius also because it combines different themes that you can set the Hargreeves to. I Think We’re Alone Now is about personalities, of who these siblings are if nobody’s watching. I don’t think I need to sing its praises, the scene has become iconic for a reason, it’s memorable and creative. And the music choice, a pop song that they could have listened in their youth, with lyrics that are eerily prophetic, is so good. And Sister of Pearl is the long-awaited addition that introduces Ben’s character, and the music is sweet and fun and him messing around in the world, all giddy and a little goofy, fits with the whole theme of dancing like no one is watching. All three are so amazing at characterising the different Hargreeves.

2. Istanbul (Not Constantinople) (S1E1) - Five fights the Commission agents at Griddy’s

Okay, but what is better than a musical sequence that characterises a sibling? A musical sequence that characterises a sibling that’s also a fight scene! I’m not going to be long about this one, because I wrote 500 words on why I think Istanbul (Not Constantinople) is a brilliant scene just yesterday, you can find it here if you scroll for a bit. It hits so many sweet spots. It re-contextualises Five and adds several dimensions to him. The fight scene is brutal but the music is happy and fun. The song is thematically relevant to the scene and the character and what this scene is trying to accomplish, namely making clear that this kid, who looks like he did at age 13, is not the same as he was, and never will be. Again, go to that other post, I couldn’t stop gushing about how excellent this sequence is, because I really love it, but Season 2 brought along another that I love even more.

1. The Order of Death (S2E6) - Five arrives at the address Reginald sent them, and watches on as his siblings slowly join him one after one

I genuinely don’t know why this one resonated with me so much. I just like the cold but melodic 80s synth together with the cinematography. Every single shot is so good, Five looking up at the looming skyscraper, him climbing the stairs, pushing the button with the use of negative space to show his loneliness, until he gets into the elevator where his siblings come to him. And the music is so fitting, for the scene, but also for Five as a character, it’s a song that works well for him. The rhythmic thumping of ‘this is what you want, this is what you get, this is what you want, this is what you get’ is so dark at second viewing, because this is what Five wants: to talk to Reginald, with the support of his siblings. And what is it he gets? What is the consequence of his actions? His existence gets wiped from history. The music is tense, in anticipation of what comes next, and fits perfectly over these wide establishing shots and their harsh lighting. I can’t pinpoint why I like The Order of Death more than any other musical sequence in the show, but I do. It is such a small, yet perfectly executed scene, and it hits some emotion within me, even though I can’t really articulate which one it is. Intrigue, probably, mixed with dread and a hint of sadness because now I know how this enterprise ends, and it’s not well.

#Replies #jeyfeather1234 #a less extensive monstrosity this time

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the-blind-assassin-12 · 4 years ago

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Canary Mary & the Miners

A/N: Um. I don’t really... know what to... *big sigh* Listen. Here’s the thing. I’ve been having some trouble finding the time and the inspiration to write in the last few weeks. So I decided to turn to some writing prompts in hopes that one of them would spark SOMETHING even if it was just a few paragraphs to shake the rust off. So I came across one that simply said write about a character named Canary. And a few paragraphs turned into a few thousand words pertaining to Ryan Brenner and of course, a new character named Canary. (It also reignited the spark for me to jump back into the world of Passing Through, which is what I am currently working on and I am EXCITED to share what comes next for that story!) This part right here though, actually takes place well before the events in PT. Ryan is roughly 24 years old here. It’s pre- Jackie, pre- losing Cowboy...pre-learning a lot of things, young, still establishing himself as a person Ryan Brenner. (and some cousins for good measure) I truly hope you enjoy.

Fun fact: Carbondale is home to the first commercial rail line.

Warning: brief mention of drug use, drinking

Word count: 4,761

The first day of any trip home for Ryan was always a busy one. From the minute he’d set foot in Aunt Holly’s kitchen to the second he finally shut his exhausted eyes in the guestroom bed upstairs, the day was always full of tight hugs, loud welcomes, curious questions and more food than any of them could eat. If the weather was right for it, he’d walk down to the beach with whichever of his cousins happened to be around. They’d kill a 6 pack of beer and fill each other in on the stories they’d rather not share with the rest of the family. Once Ryan had come home in the middle of a summer downpour, and the rain, and even more so the lightning, made the trek down to sit in the sand impossible. Instead, Ryan, Jimmy, Taylor and Fitz sat on overturned buckets and bags of mulch in Holly and Alan’s shed, laughing and teasing one another as they dodged drips from the shed’s leaky roof. After supper he’d sit out on the porch with whoever was still awake and alert and play a few songs, the tempo of them slowing as the sky filled with stars.

The second day was always more calm, all the excitement out of the way. He’d wake up in the guestroom, the mattress slightly too short for his long legs but still far more comfortable than most places he slept while on the road, and turn to the shabby wicker bedside table. Ryan didn’t get much mail, just a few letters and postcards, but reading them was always one of the highlights of his visit. Aunt Holly would save them for him, bundling them up in short stacks tied with blue yarn. Although she would always give them to him almost immediately after he unlaced his boots, he would always tuck them away with his things upstairs, knowing that he’d have more time to read them in the morning.

On this particular trip, when Aunt Holly had stuffed the bundle into Ryan’s right hand while his left arm curled around Taylor’s shoulders and he ducked out of the way of a spiraling Nerf football that Jimmy had just lobbed from the top of the stairs, he noted that the stack was a little thicker than normal. He smiled to himself, fingers hooking beneath the thick yarn. I sent out a few more’n normal this year too.

As he’d gotten better as a musician, he’d found more opportunities to meet and play with and learn from other musicians in his travels. Some he never even spoke to, simply set up on the same corner and agreed on song choice without words, with just chords and nods. Others he found himself forming friendships with, realizing that they had more in common than just their musical talents. His first few years on the rails had been spent mostly with Cowboy, Virginia and eventually Georgie. But more recently he found himself traveling solo, wanting to stay longer in some cities, wanting to skip town faster in others. He found himself wanting to stretch his limits and learn more about who he was, not just as a traveller or an artist, but as a person. And he realized that one of the best ways to learn about himself was to interact with as many people as he could as see what he felt, how he responded, who he was drawn to and why.

What he’d learned leading up to this visit home was that he was someone who craved genuine connection, and sought out others who wanted the same. For every one meaningful connection he made, there were at least twenty interactions with people whom he could tell had forgotten his name before they’d even made it three steps, even after they’d just spent a few minutes chatting, dropping a few singles into his case and telling him that he sounded great. Some people, he knew, just wanted to be liked. They craved acceptance from everyone they met. Ryan learned that he was not one of those people, and he liked that about himself. Only one that’s gotta be okay with me is me.

But when he found those rare individuals who looked for the seams in things and pulled them apart to peek at what was inside, he held onto them because he knew that those were the people who had the best chance of understanding him and helping him understand himself. Thus began the growth of the non-biological branch of his family tree. Robin and Oz and the rest of the crew he spent his first West Coast summer with, Georgie, Cowboy and Virginia had been the base of that branch, but other chutes were beginning to form now too, resulting in thicker stacks of mail and more reasons to purchase stamps.

Waking up in the too small bed, he stretched his neck to the right until a small pop released some tension there. A satisfied sigh, the kind that only came from getting a good night’s sleep, slipped from his lungs as he sat up blinking in the dusty morning light. Rising with the sun was a hard habit to break, even when he was staying somewhere that he didn’t need to vacate immediately like he was now, but Ryan didn’t mind. He enjoyed having that time to himself while the rest of the world was still quiet.

Dragging a hand through his sleep disheveled hair, he glanced over at the bundle of letters and postcards, and once his fingertips had finished fixing the errant strands, they reached out to brush over the frayed ends of the yarn that was cross wrapped around his mail. Blue this time. He smiled to himself wondering if he’d be leaving with a scarf or a hat at the end of the week. It wouldn’t be cold enough for a scarf for another month or two, but he knew that it was important to Aunt Holly that she send him off with something to keep him warm. It was important to him, too, he’d learned, her scarves warming more than his neck on several solo winter nights. Clearing his gravelly throat, he pulled the covers back and set his feet down on the floor.

Rifling through his pack, Ryan pulled out his last clean pair of jeans and a dark green long sleeved thermal, a freshly sewn patch on the left elbow courtesy of Virginia. Before making his way down to Georgia he’d spent two weeks with her and Cowboy as they made their way through the Midwest, parting ways outside of Chicago. There were certain things that Ryan always had on his person- twine, sunscreen, his notebook- and with Ginny it was a travel sewing kit. He twisted his arm to look at the patch, a dark brown oval cut from an old corduroy button down that had lost more buttons than it retained, and smiled. He ran his fingers over the stitches that held the patch in place. She’s gettin’ better at this. The nail of his pointer finger snagged on a crooked stitch and he chuckled. Cowboy prob’ly gives her plenty to practice on.

He finished getting dressed and grabbed his hat, bending and folding the brim with one hand before stuffing it into his back pocket. Aunt Holly had a strict no hats in the house rule, and even though he knew she was still asleep, Ryan wouldn’t think of breaking it. She’d knock it clean off my head ‘f she caught me. It wasn’t a guess, he knew from experience. How to pick his battles was another thing he’d been learning lately, and waiting a few extra seconds until he was outside before putting his hat on wasn’t worth causing trouble.

Picking up the bundle of letters from the side table, Ryan left the spare room, closing the door behind him. The hallway on the second floor was narrow and dark; there were no windows because the hall wrapped around the stairwell, and there were rooms on all four sides. But Ryan had spent enough time in that house to know where to turn without having to see, and in just a few familiar steps he was descending the staircase, socked feet moving quickly and quietly over the creaky steps. He made a quick stop in the kitchen, setting up the coffee pot to brew, waiting until he could hear it hissing and clicking as the heat plate warmed up before turning towards the front door. This thing’s older’n I am. Just like shrimp and grits and peach cobbler for supper on the first night of his visits were staples, Ryan would always show his appreciation by making sure that everyone woke to a full pot of dark roast on the second day.

He didn’t wait for the coffee to brew though. Instead he found his boots in the pile of shoes by the door, digging one out from under a red canvas sneaker that seemed to be missing its mate. Whose is this? Taylor’s? He picked it up by the lace and flung it deeper into the pile. What’d she do with the other one? Sticking the stack of letters under his arm, he tied his laces loosely, shaking his head at the image of Taylor walking home with only one shoe the night before. I bet Jimmy was messin’ with her. Though none of them were as rowdy as they used to be, all of the Brenner cousins had held onto their propensity for mischief when they gathered in groups of two or more. Some things never change.

Other things did, though. He took the stack back out from under his arm as he straightened up, eyeing it and guessing that it was thicker than the last one by at least five pieces. Passing the pencil marked molding that measured the heights of he and his cousins at various ages, he opened the door and headed out into the bright morning to read his letters. He settled into the angled Adirondack chair, the wood worn smooth after decades of use and abuse, and untied the knotted bow, smiling at the little pop as the yarn let go of the knot.

Dropping the yarn into his lap he sifted through the pile until he found Robin’s loopy lettering, always in brightly colored ink. He plucked out two letters addressed to him in red and purple respectively, as well as a postcard from Culver City that was so smudged that all he could read was the last line- Oz and I miss you, Brenner. No matter what else she wrote in her letters, whether she was writing to tell him that things had gotten dark for Oz again, or that things were going well for them, she always ended them with that and he could hear her unwritten next line: Get your ass back out here! He was happy to see, after reading as much as he could of the smudged postcard and both letters, that things seemed to be on an upswing for Oz. One of the letters even mentioned that he’d been clean and sober for a year and Ryan beamed. I gotta get out there soon. Maybe this spring, after Montana.

There was a birthday card from Nikki, the girl he’d gotten his first tattoos from. Happy Birthday, handsome!! Was all it said, with a line of little x’s, her name signed below them, more x’s dotting the two I’s. Ryan felt his lips twitch under his beard as a slight flush climbed over it, and he recalled all the teasing he endured from Georgie when it became clear to the rest of the group that there was something between Ryan and Nikki. Been a while since she saw me. He ran one hand over his scruffy facial hair before lowering it to look at the roughly inked black lines and dots that marked the spaces between his knuckles. Inhaling a slow breath through his nose he could almost smell the woman’s strawberry shampoo as she leaned close, holding his hand in one of hers and her tattoo gun in the other, her chunky silver rings cool against his skin. Wonder what she’d think now. Nothing had ever really happened between the two of them. Nothin’ more than kissin’.

His tongue flicked out to wet his lips and he sighed. She was somethin’ else though. Wonder ‘f she’d… He tapped the card twice against the knuckles of his opposite hand before shuffling it back to the bottom of the pile. Nikki’s not really...neither of us wants to stop movin’ around and… He shook his head. Nikki was a great kisser, that he was sure of. She was vivacious and spontaneous and lived her life in bright colors and never failed to make Ryan laugh when they spoke on the phone. But even through all the physical attraction Ryan knew that there would never be anything serious between them. She’s a good friend… just not a good fit for me. He snorted to himself as the sun rose above the treeline. ‘Nd I’m not a good fit for her. He wasn’t looking for a relationship anymore like he might have been last time he went out West to see Nikki and Louie and the rest of them. But if a relationship found him along the way he knew it would have to be right for it to stick. ‘Nd if it ain’t gonna stick there’s no point.

There were postcards from Cowboy that said very little, if anything at all other than a quickly scrawled You’d like it here, Brenner, or Good spot for buskin’. It was like a breadcrumb trail of suggestions for when Ryan didn’t know where to go next and wasn’t ready to repeat or circle back up with anyone else. The two of them- three, counting Ginny- had spent enough time together to know what small town charms and quirks would peek the other’s interests, or what tiny details in big cities the other looked for. Le Claire, Iowa. Laramie, Wyoming. Las Vegas, Nevada. Point Pleasant, New Jersey. The images on Cowboy’s postcards were always faded, and Ryan knew it was because the man would always hastily pull the first card he touched from a display in the window of a gas station or convenience store. No one sends postcards anymore so they sit in the sun. A faded river boat. A washed out field of cattle. The strip, sanded down by sun and time spent in a gift store. A ferris wheel, maybe. Doesn’t matter what’s on the front. He made a point to set the cards from Cowboy aside so that he could jot down the cities in the back of his notebook, where he kept a running list, crossing them off after he’d taken his friend’s advice to visit them.

By the time Ryan was down to the last postcard the sun had breached the tree line, brightening the sky and waking up the birds. The quiet morning filled with the chirps of sparrows and warblers, each trying to outdo the other in the complexity of their songs. Somewhere in the trees behind the house a mockingbird stole pieces of each, taking credit for the others’ creativity in order to fit in, and from the gargantuan oak in the front corner of the yard a small cluster of nuthatches erupted squawking from the middle branches. But Ryan hardly noticed the wildlife around him because his mind was on a very different bird, one certainly not native to Georgia. He read the front of the postcard in his hand, vintage linen print in bright colors spelling out Greetings from Carbondale Pennsylvania, a small white mountain laurel blooming beside the state’s Capitol building, and he knew who the card was from before even turning it over. Canary Mary.

His eyes widened with excitement as he flipped it around, and though he’d never seen her handwriting before, it matched his expectation of her penmanship perfectly. Her letters all stood at a hard slant and the bottoms of her y’s, g’s and j’s curved back around to underline the words they occupied. Ryan always picked up on the ways that a person’s handwriting reflected parts of their personality, and Mary’s rebellious spirit and intensity were visible in the way she pressed her pen to the cardstock. As he read he could even picture her leaning casually in the corner booth at Lyle’s, layers of shawls and sweaters and long necklaces draped around her as she wrote.

Ryan-

First off I hope the rails have been good to you. Hope you and Georgie Porgie are lookin’ out for each other, and I hope y’all had a good summer. I hope you got after some of the things you were lookin’ for when you left here- but only some, ‘cause you always gotta have more to go after, remember that. There’s always more.

Second, just wanted to see if you’n Georgie were interested in swingin’ up this way come October. There’s this music festival ‘round Halloween called Blues’n Boos - don’t hold the name against me, I didn’t make it up!- and I’m thinkin’ of tryin’ to be part of it, but only if you two come and back me up with your strings. I can sing, you know that, but I ain’t never sounded better’n when you boys stumbled into Lyle’s, and those couple’a duets you sang with me? That crowd won’t be ready for Canary Mary & the Miners I’ll tell you that! So I’m crossin’ my fingers you’ll say yes. You got my number, honey.

-Canary

Ryan hadn’t felt the smile creeping up his cheeks as he read, but when he finished he realized he was wearing it all the same. Canary Mary & the Miners, huh? He shook his head and laughed under his breath as he turned the card back over. He traced the block letter P with one finger, thinking back to last fall and the week or so he and Georgie had spent in the small coal town of Carbondale. They’d hopped off in hopes of finding somewhere to busk, but the weather had other plans, a heavy, chilly rain soaking them to the bone within minutes and making playing outdoors impossible. Heading towards the first establishment they saw that they didn’t think they’d be turned away from- a dive bar called Lyle’s, the chipped paint on the lit sign above the door beckoning them like a beacon- they carried all of their things inside and were immediately met with the sound of piano keys and Mary’s sultry, smoky voice. Knew we were in the right place then.

Where ya goin’ baby? And how you gonna get there when I’m gone?

Tell me where ya goin’ baby? And how you plannin’ to get along?

I’m not tryin to doubt ya no, no… just thought I’d ask ya for fun.

Rain water dripped from the ends of his hair beneath his hat, running down the side of his nose as he stared at the woman on stage, completely captivated by her performance. Damn. His mouth dropped open and he let out a breath, turning to his friend. “You hearin’ this Georgie?”

Despite the fact that the woman was clearly ten or maybe even fifteen years older than they were, Georgie’s eyes twinkled mischievously as he answered. “Oh yeah, Ry, I’m hearin’ this alright.” Ryan smacked him on the arm with the back of his hand and laughed knowing that even though Georgie was a sucker for a pretty face that could sing, it was more about the voice than the face, and he respected this woman’s talent.

They had ended up settling in at the end of the bar nearest the small stage, the bartender allowing them to stash their bags behind the bar while they had a few drinks and waited out the rain. They’d listened to three more of the woman’s songs, but it was those first few lyrics that he’d heard that had stuck with Ryan, and not just the words themselves, but the feeling she had put into them when she sang them.

Where ya goin’ and how you gonna get there?

It was supposed to be a song about independence and Ryan felt that in the confident yet carefree way she sang, seeming to play with the listeners’ ear as well as their heart and their ego. But he also realized that he didn’t know the answer. Where am I going? If someone asked me… what would I say? He sat there, brow all wrinkled as he contemplated the bubbles in the foam of his beer. Georgie had gone off to the restroom leaving Ryan by himself, but his stool didn’t stay empty for long.

“That beer got the answers you’re lookin’ for there honey?” Wha-

Ryan looked up in time to see the woman slide into Georgie’s seat, one shoulder shrugging to try to keep her sleeve from falling down it, the other arm waving at the bartender and motioning for a glass of water. She lowered her arm then and turned to face Ryan head on, her wide eyes rimmed with dark liner and fringed with long black lashes. A stud dotting the side of her nose and a small scar cut through her top lip but did nothing to dull her smile. She was beautiful, but not in the most conventional sense. Her beauty came from the way she moved and how she carried herself, how sure she was when she sang and spoke and smiled. I’ve never seen anyone like her… she’s… It wasn’t attraction but awe, Ryan looking at this woman like a moth might look at the light- slightly stunned and not sure if it would burn him or show him the way.

The bartender had appeared with a water, reaching over the bar to hand it to her. She took it, winking at the man and thanking him before drinking a big gulp and wiping a hand across her mouth. Several bracelets and bangles knocked about on her wrist as it fell to her lap, her attention turning back to Ryan. “I take it that’s a no then?”

“A...no?” Ryan shook his head trying to clear it enough to focus on the moment and the woman who was speaking to him. “Sorry?”

“Mmm,” she hummed around the glass as she took another sip, her eyes brightening above the rim. “Don’t be.” Ryan blinked and felt himself relax, the furrows in his forehead smoothing back out at her casual manner. “I just meant...guess you’re not findin’ what you’re lookin’ for in that drink. But then again, who really does, huh?” She set her glass down and extended a hand to him. “I’m Mary. ‘Round here I go by Canary Mary.” She gave a playful roll of her eyes, tossing a wave around the place. That makes sense. Voice like that in a town like this. She laughed. “‘Cause if I ain’t singin’, you know somethin’ ain’t right. Ain’t that right, Lyle?” She called the last part out to the kind, balding man who had allowed Ryan and Georgie to tuck their stuffed packs safely away.

“That’s right darlin’. You’re our songbird alright.” The man called back as he poured two beers from the taps.

Mary laughed again, eyes returning to Ryan’s as his fingers wrapped around her hand. “And who are you, honey?”

“‘M Ryan,” he answered, giving her hand a small shake as she squeezed his in return. “You sound...you’re really good up there.” He nodded towards the stage with his chin as she released her grip on his hand.

“You think so, huh?” She cocked one eyebrow and Ryan tilted his head. Yes. How could you- “Well I s’pose you’d know.” What? She smiled and pointed to the case that was standing up between Ryan’s legs. “Saw you come in with that baby on your back, so I know you know what you’re talkin’ about.”

Ryan shrugged and looked down at the thick lacquer on the bartop. “Oh I dunno, I just-”

“Hey that friend a yours you came in with, he play too?” She asked before he could downplay his talent or ability and Ryan nodded. He does. “How’s about you boys come up and play with me? You can be my band for the night.” She lifted one hand up, panning it in front of her as though reading the marquee on a theater. “Canary Mary & the Miners.” She laughed, the sound heavy and sweet like molasses. “C’mon I think it’ll be fun, what’dya say?”

Georgie had come back right at that moment, agreeing for both of them, and he and Ryan had spent the rest of the night crammed up on the small platform, playing a few songs with the woman who was part songbird, part sultry lounge singer and all heart. She’d leaned in to whisper into Ryan’s ear, urging him to join her on a song or two. At first he’d been hesitant because the only female singers he’d ever done duets with were Robin and Virginia, and he knew both of them well enough to know what they were feeling when they sand, how to match them. But Mary had put that hesitation to sleep with her next words.

“Trust me, honey, what you were lookin’ for in that beer? You got a better chance of findin’ it in a song. So you wanna sing with me?”

He had, and it had somehow felt...easy. As the night wore on and the number of patrons dwindled, Mary, Ryan and Georgie found themselves closing down Lyle’s, the three of them sitting in the only three stools that hadn’t been overturned and lifted up onto the bar. Lyle swept the floor, music playing softly from an old but still functioning radio, allowing them to finish their last round as he cleaned up. They’d gotten to talking, Mary sharing a little about herself and how she left home to pursue a life of music and whatever came with it, and Ryan had asked her if she ever worried that she’d made the wrong choice, or that she’d ended up in the wrong place. Is that… am I worried about that? I didn’t think I was but…

“Only thing I ever ask myself, Ryan, is if I’m good with who I am in the moment. Only person that’s gotta be good with you is you, honey. If I’m good with where I am and where I’m goin? Then I know I didn’t make the wrong choice.”

Where am I going, and how am I gonna get there? He tapped the card against his knuckle again, taking a deep breath in through his nose. He could smell the nutty aroma of the coffee he’d made, could hear the sound of his family waking up and shuffling towards the kitchen for a cup. Smiling as he let the breath back out in a sigh, he plucked the yarn from his lap and re-wrapped the bundle of cards and letters. I’m good with who I am… lot of it thanks to her. Canary Mary had taught Ryan more than he thought she knew at first, but as time went on and he thought back on the interaction, he wondered if maybe she knew all along that he needed some guidance, needed to be shown the way or at least pointed towards the light. Either way, he knew his answer.

It’s too early to call Georgie. Ryan squinted at the sun as he rose from the chair and stretched, his shirt lifting up to expose a thin strip of his belly, the morning air a cool shock on his skin.

“Ry’n, you want milk’n your coffee’r no?” Huh. Guess Taylor didn’t go home last night. Must’ve slept in the living room. Her accent was always thickest in the morning when she wasn’t quite awake, like it was now as she called out the screen door.

He turned away from the sun and back towards the house, tucking the bundle of cards under his arm and whipping the hat off his head. “Yeah, just a drop though. ‘M comin’ in now I can…”

It was too early to call Georgie now, but Ryan knew that as soon as it was late enough to guarantee the other man would answer, he’d be calling his friend to make travel plans for Carbondale in October.

General Tags: @something-tofightfor @suchatinyinfinity @malionnes @thesumofmychoices @gollyderek @pheedraws @beautifuldesastre @alraedesigns @dearmarii @fific7 @traeumerinwitzhelden @obscurilicious @luminex3 @bisexual-space-slut @vetseras

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#canary mary & the miners #ryan brenner #passing through #Ryan brenner fic #daily writing prompt #write about a character named canary #nearly 5k words later...#anywho #where you goin and how you gonna get there?

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demivampirew · 4 years ago

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Keep Calm and Go to London chapter 16

Synopsis: This is the story of (y/n), a successful actress, musician, musical producer and songwriter. After battling depression and breaking up a long relationship, she seeks for a change of air, escaping LA for a while going to visit some friends in London and there she meets Henry. -Disclaimer: some chapters are mostly smut.

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Triggers: SMUT ( s&m); use of slang and cursing words; mention of body image issues.

Disclaimer: I made this chapter as a challenge to myself. The idea was to write something inspired by songs and I’ve made a playlist with some songs which parts of the lyrics will be included on the chapter. At the end I’ll post the playlist in the order that the songs appeared. This chapter doesn’t contain vital information to the story (if so, I’ll talk about it again in another chapter), so if you are not into this type of stories, you can skip this chapter and continue with the next one.

Tag list: Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank you so much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too ☺️ (I think I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to tag you, tell me ☺️ ) @cavillanche @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo constip8merm8 penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen littlefreya wondersofdreaming alyxkbrl solariumss sweetybuzz25 @thethirstyarchive @agniavateira @honeyloverogers @hell1129-blog @lunedelorient @michelle-1185

-I've got a surprise for you tonight - you said to Henry as he was turning off the computer after playing games. - Do you? What is it about? - he asked, curious and amused. - If I tell you, it won't be a surprise, right? You replied grinning devilishly and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. - Hmmm... it's a Bond Girl type of surprise? - he questioned as he raised an eyebrow, smirking pleased by the idea. - Well, something like that. - you told him laughing. - Do I have to wear a suit or something? - Let me think... - you paused for a second- Oh... I know... Do you, by any chance, still have the shirt that you used on the video that you appeared with Simon for Vanity Fair to promote Mission Impossible? - you asked him, pouting like an innocent little girl. - The black shirt? Yes, I still got it. I'll put it on for you then. - he assured you, and you smile at him excitedly. - This is going to be a night you won't forget- you promised as you got closer to kiss him. - Oh, every night is a night that'll I never forget. I feel like I remember everything that we've done since I met you. - You're a smooth talker, aren't you Mr Cavill? - you finished as you kissed him.

The great thing about becoming confident with your body again was the fact that you felt free to show another side of you. The part of you which didn't care about anything that people might think and was not afraid to explore when it came to pleasure. When you were with your ex-boyfriend, the first years after you started dating again after a three-year break, you were this woman. You not only enjoyed sex but discover that you liked being in charge. The last years of that relationship, made you put that confident woman in a deep sleep because he failed in making you feel desire. There were periods in which you wouldn't even have sex because he was always "busy" with work. On one occasion, he completely ignored you, that was wearing sexy lingerie as if you were invisible. That affected you a lot. But now, Henry brought back that side of you. He made you feel beautiful and sexy all the time. He didn't shame you for your lust, he enjoyed it as well. His sexual side amused you a lot. He was shy, sometimes a bit too much, but at the same time, you could tell every time that you put yourself in charge of the situation that is was something new for him. He was clearly used to be the one to do most of the work in the bedroom. At first, you could feel that he was surprised by your dominance, by he enjoyed it too much and became his favourite thing. Let you choose the positions and all was something that he became accustomed to. But, he also knew that you were a sucker for his kisses, so he would use that against you to distract you and take the lead again. And you allowed him that because you adored the fact that he had the strength to take you as if you were light as a feather and move you in the position that he pleased at the moment. Between the two of you, there was no doubt that you were the one most comfortable with playing games and creating new situations for fun. This wasn't because he didn't have that on him, because as soon as you started something, he gladly played the role you assigned for him. It was mostly due to a lack of practice. Even though he admitted having one night stands on the past, he was mostly a man that preferred to exclusively being intimate with partners and his previous girlfriends apparently weren't too much into the idea of roleplay and other kinky stuff. You didn't know much about it, because he was a gentleman and respected the intimacy of his former lovers.

The night came. As soon as you finished getting ready, you texted Henry to let him know that he could come into the room. He opened the door and found a chair a few steps away from the bed. There was a note on it that read "Sit and close your eyes until you're told otherwise." He did as it was told. His heart was beating fast due to the excitement and expectation. Moments past and finally he felt the soft touch of your hands on his arms. Then, you grabbed both of his hands and put on a pair of handcuffs. You softly bite the lobule of his ear and his cheek. He laughed as an act of reflex due to the tingly sensation. "Keep your eyes closed" you ordered him as you walked away. Music started to sound in the room. It wasn't partying or romantic music. At first sounded mysterious, like the perfect for the soundtrack of a vampire movie. But, after seconds the tone change into metal. The seductive raspy voice of a woman invaded the room.

I'm the girl you've been thinking about The one thing you can't live without I'm the girl you've been waiting for I'll have you down on your knees, I'll have you begging for more. [ ... ] So how can this be, you're praying to me There's a look in your eyes, I know just what that means I can be, I can be your everything

I can be your whore I am the dirt you created I am your sinner, I am your whore But let me tell you something, baby You love me for everything you hate me for.

"Open your eyes", you ordered. He did that and saw you standing in front of him. You were wearing a black sleeveless latex bodysuit that had a plunging neckline and short boots with pointy heels. In your face, you had a lace masquerade face eye mask and a blood colour lipstick on your lips. Your hair was straight, tight in a high ponytail. You came closer to him. Slowly, place your index finger on his lips, locked eyes with him and grinning devilish. You turned around as the song finished and a new one started to play. You started to move to the sound of the music.

I must confess I'm addicted to this Shove your kiss straight through my chest I can't deny, I'd die without this Make me feel like a god Music, love and sex (Adrenalize me)

You moved sensually and slowly, touching your own body to the sound of the music and giving him looks, knowing how much he'd loved to be the one touching your body.

Get a little bit higher So we can fall 'til we bleed Push a little bit harder Pull me into the speed So tell me, can you feel this Come into my dream Are you ready to awaken? Are you ready to feed? 'Cause I need to feel Yeah, I need to say

You dropped on your knees and put your hands on the floor as well, classic doggy style position and moved erotically. You give yourself a few spanks, hard enough for him to listen to the sound of the collision of your hand with your butt, even with the loud music playing, and leaving red marks. You crawled to him placing your hands on his thighs and rubbing them. You could see that he was already hard. Lust and desire were visible on his eyes. He wanted you. He wanted you now. But the games were just starting. A new song was playing while you continue moving your hands up and down his thighs.

Is it sick of me To need control of you Is it sick to make You beg the way I do Is it sick of me To want you crawling on your knees Is it sick to say I want you biting down on me

Are you sick like me

Am I beautiful As I tear you to pieces Am I beautiful Even at my ugliest, you always say

I'm beautiful As you tear me to pieces You are beautiful Even at your ugliest, I always say You're beautiful and sick like me

As the song was getting closer to his end, you stood up again and way away from him, offering a nice view of your ass on the way and the stopped and moved your hips from side to side. The following song was from a different band, same style. This was music that Henry wasn't accustomed to, but he was still enjoying the game you were playing with him.

All I desire (Temptation) Keep climbing higher and higher (Temptation)

Adorable creatures (Temptation) (With unacceptable features (Temptation)

And trouble is coming (Temptation) It's just the high course of lovin' (Temptation)

And you can take it or leave it (Temptation) But you better believe it

As the song was playing its chorus, you got closer to him again, giving him a lap dance, close enough for him to feel the heat that your body emanated by not close enough to touch. You were driving crazy. You turned around and sit on his thighs, facing him. You kissed him and felt his desperation with the touch of his tongue with yours. You bit his chin and licked his Adam's apple. You touched the entirety of his chest. Then, you kneeled as you lift his shirt and lick and bite his chest, concentrating mostly on his nipples. He moaned louder than the heavy music playing. A new song started to play as you decided to end his suffering. Still, on your knees, you unzipped his pants and grabbed his member and started to please him with your mouth.

Beware the night Beware the night before the dawn Beware the dark when light is gone For there's a phantom lust to wake They wanna make you bend and scream They wanna take your hand and lead you in the light of Venus, girl Come let them take you for a ride Forget the lord and cross tonight And let your carnal lust prevail tonight Oh, demons come at night and they bring the end Oh, demons are a girl's best friend Oh, demons come alive and they take command Oh, demons are a girl's best friend

The song continued playing till the end, while you pleasured your boyfriend. This wasn't like other times, in which you did it slowly and tenderly. This time, you went fast and deep. Many times you went completely out of breath as you reached the base of his cock as this was inside your throat and your mouth. More than once you went as deep that you managed to licked his testicles while he was still inside of you. You took him out of your mouth, tasting the sperm coming out of him and stroking it. You stood up again and started to dance again to the music, giving him time to recover for another round.

When the night just strikes through you And the night just spreads its legs and open up for you When the day is dead to you And the silvery starlight seductively glimmers through

Its Night... Night!

When the night just comes for you And its fingers just crawl and move deep inside of you When the light is drawn from you And you sear your lips and let the sweet poison come on through

Its Night Night Electric Night

The world lies silent The night burns of wrath

You got closer to him again. You planned to uncuff him but that'd be like unleashing a savage beast. You were not planning to give him power. You made him stand up and walk to the bed, still with both of his hands tight to his back. He sat on the edge of the bed, as you open the handcuffs, realising one of his hands and tightening the other to the bed. Then you grabbed a tie from the closet and used it to trap his other hand. You sat on top of him and softly press your body against his. You kissed, licked and bite his neck for a bit and later kissed on his mouth, biting his lips now and then. After that, you unbuttoned his shirt and scratched his chest and bite his nipples. He was more than ready for the second round. You pulled the panties part of the bodysuit aside and entered Henry's cock inside of you and began to ride him. You change the pace of your movements to the rhythm of the song playing at the moment.

She looks like the girl The girl you ever wanted She looks like the girl The girl who could Give you everything And kisses run like hell And she like it She's got the look That could kill And you see the greed in her eyes It is far too late [ ... ] Too late to run Too late to hide There is no escape When she is hunting you And she is hunting you Tonight She takes everything from you She is uses you With her Body of sin You are addicted to her touch And you lose yourself in her Dangerous smile

Henry was grabbing the tie with one hand and the chain of the handcuff with the other; he was desperate to touch you, to grab you and make you his until you scream his name. You then sat on his face, letting him taste you and pleasure you. It felt so good to have his tongue inside you as well as licking and sucking your clit. After you reached an orgasm, you sucked him again before sitting on his cock for one last time.

Just a little bit, just a little, bitch You've got a pussy, I have a dick So what's the problem? Let's do it quick So take me now before it's too late Life's too short, so I can't wait [ ... ] Just a little bit be my little bitch You've got a pussy, I have a dick So what's the problem? Let's do it quick So take me now before it's too late Life's too short, so I can't wait

The last song played and you moved fast to its beat. You could feel his big and thick member inside of you, getting in and out so fast that it hurt, but you liked the pain; it felt wonderful. When you saw he was about to release, you changed position and quickly put it in your mouth, sucking him until he finished, leaving your mouth full of his cum. You shallowed it and then decided to free him. He was exhausted. His heart beat so fast all that time, so as soon as he was able to catch a breath, he fell in a deep sleep. You laughed and left him to sleep as you went to the bathroom to take off your clothes and makeup, shower and then go to sleep with him.

Playlist:

In this Moment- Whore In this Moment- Adrenalize In this Moment- Sick Like Me Cradle Of Filth - Temptation POWERWOLF - Demons Are A Girl's Best Friend Deathstars - Night Electric Night Blutengel - Vampire Rammstein- Pussy

#henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x reader #demivampirew

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damienthepious · 4 years ago

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happy lizzer kiss babes! also, as mentioned in the notes of this one, lil heads up that i’m gonna be taking a little break from posting fic in november! and by “little break” i mean i’ll be writing 50k of a novel lmao what a good “break” i am so terribly smart. anyway love you!

A Moment As An Optimist

[ao3] [Ch 2]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Sir Damien, Rilla

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Established Relationship, Forbidden Love , (alas.......), miscommunication followed quickly by communication

Summary: It is one of Damien's favorite events of the entire year, all revelry and romance and joy, and he cannot wait to share it with his lovers. Or- with one of them, at least.

Notes: Title from the song Heart of a Pessimist, by Be Steadwell, a song which also p well vibes with the fic as a whole. Also, just to... get out ahead of this a little, but I'm gonna be taking a break from fanfic for the month of November so I can properly do NaNoWriMo again this year! Which is exciting! But it also means that I'm gonna publish fic on tuesdays for the rest of October, and then November is gonna be radio silence from my end, on here at least. You can come hmu on tumblr @jakkubrat if you wanna see me just, shrieking at the void about writing in general, but I doubt any of y'all are interested in that. Anyway I love you. Hope you like this one! I intend to get the second chapter out before my little hiatus :3c

"And then," Damien says, gesturing wildly with his hands, "after the sparring demonstrations and the feast, the square is cleared and the musicians take their place of honor. They will play, and play, and play the whole rest of the evening. Songs quick and full of giddy joy, songs steeped with contemplation and longing and love, all manner of melodies in the in-between, and they will not cease playing- not until the very last of us has grown too fatigued for further footwork. Only when the very last of the revelers has succumbed to exhaustion, only then will the music finally fade into the more natural song of the night."

Damien sighs deeply, then, his hand pressing over his heart as he fixes his eyes on the middle distance.

"I'll admit the dancing is pretty fun, at least," Rilla says with a shrug, her own tone much more casual. "Food's not too bad either."

"Pretty fun!" Damien cries, his eyes sparking with excitement. "Oh, damning with such faint praise, my love! It is quite reliably among the most enjoyable events of the year! Why- oh, I could not possibly forget the year when you and I danced clear through until the dawn, and when finally we relented we were so terribly exhausted that we barely clung to each other long enough to stumble to the closest inn to properly collapse- a battle more draining that my greatest conquests, and still I do not think there has been a day I have laughed quite so heartily, nor been so blessed with your own laughter and love! Oh, Rilla, perhaps this year they will play that one particular song- that one with those quick triplets, the one that played just as they lit the lanterns last year, oh, and Arum! When the drums begin, then we could-"

He pauses.

"We- y-you and I could- could-"

Damien notices, quite suddenly, the low growl emanating from his lizard love. He notices the wince upon Rilla's face, as well.

Damien swallows, pulling his hand back to press over his heart as it sinks, and sinks, and sinks.

"We could... what?" Arum murmurs, slow and measured and vicious. "What, precisely, could we do at your festival, honeysuckle?"

"I-" Damien's breath catches. "I... I only..." he buries the hitch in his throat in a slight cough. "I... I managed to get quite ahead of myself, I'm afraid," he says in a muted voice. "So excited was I to share such joy... I did not even think."

"You certainly did not," Arum hisses. "How little prompting you require to forget, hm? To forget entirely that I am a monster."

"No," Damien says quickly, shaking his head. "I- I did not forget- how could I possibly? Arum-"

"Or to forget me entirely, perhaps-"

"I did not forget you," Damien says. "I forgot them. I forgot- I forgot every single thing in the world, besides you, and Rilla, and I, and... and the idea of spending a whole long evening with you both, dancing in the lamplight."

"I imagine the evening would be rather short, in fact. Hardly a minute would pass before I was slain."

"That's not fair," Rilla snaps, pushing off from the wall and glaring at the monster, but Damien's heart is still swirling and tumbling and the image- Arum at the festival, dancing at their sides, the cries of alarm and fear and hatred, the blades-

"Very little is," Arum snarls. "I am merely pointing out the obvious. It does not matter what we want- what he wants. That door is not open to us, and to pretend otherwise is foolishness itself."

"You know he wasn't trying to make you feel left out-"

"I-" Arum laughs, bitter and brittle and unconvincing. "I feel no such thing. I do not care. In fact- in fact, I do not have the first clue why we are still discussing it. Should you not be on your way already?" He snarls, and then he folds his arms over his chest, visibly settling himself. "Go on, then," Arum says, his voice flat and toneless, but Damien- Damien can't help but hear the current of pain beneath it. Judging by the way Rilla's expression shifts, just slightly, she can hear it too. "Go on. If this event is so terribly exciting, you should scuttle off to your Citadel and start your revelry already."

"Arum," Damien starts, his voice gentle, and Arum's snout wrinkles.

"I don't need your pity, honeysuckle," he hisses quickly, turning to pace with his cape billowing behind him. "We all know exactly what time we may steal away with each other. We all know what we are allowed, and what we are not." He turns his head away, his lip curling up to show the edges of his teeth. "It hardly matters anyway. I do not expect that any human celebration would be of any interest to me whatsoever. Music is only music and food is only food and I can very well find some of my own anywhere I should like."

"Arum," Rilla says, her voice quiet but firm, and Arum's scowl deepens.

"What? What, precisely, have I gotten wrong? In what way is my understanding of the situation flawed? I have no interest in-"

"I won't go."

Arum blinks, stumbling from his pacing to a halt, and his frill begins to sink as Rilla turns towards Damien again.

Damien shakes his head, feeling the tightness in his throat and attempting not to let it become evident in his voice. "I won't. I- I do not want to. It is only by necessity that I am ever anywhere that you cannot safely accompany. By Saint Damien above why should I ever want to revel and ramble and partake in such a joy if I cannot share it with the both of my loves? Why-"

"Oh, Damien-"

Rilla steps closer, one hand reaching to grip his wrist, and Damien feels the heat at the corners of his eyes and shakes his head again, more fiercely.

"This festival has always and only ever brought me joy, brought me closer to and more familiar with love, with beauty and delight, and- and I could not even consider those concepts for one moment without thinking of you as well, Arum, and- and- and I cannot bear the idea of suffering an event I once loved so dearly without you by our sides. It is unthinkable, I could not- I will not."

Arum stares at him for a long moment, his frill sinking further, his throat rattling.

"I won't," Damien says again, more quietly. "Not without you."

Arum inhales slowly, his expression folding into more visible pain, and he hisses through his teeth and winces before he responds.

"No," he says slowly, his voice low and rumbling. "No, I can't abide-" he pauses, and then sighs, dropping his eyes. "No. I didn't- I did not- I spoke rashly and- no. I didn't mean to- to-" he clenches his teeth again, lifting a hand to scrub down his face. "No. This... this event is... significant to you, honeysuckle. I know that it is not your fault, nor hers, nor mine, that we cannot enjoy it together. It is no one's fault, it is simply the truth. It is simply... the world, as it is. But-" he hesitates, and then he sighs again and steps closer, reaching to brush his hand down Damien's arm.

Damien sags instantly at the contact, immediately closing the remaining gap, folding himself against Arum's chest as Rilla lets go of his wrist, stepping up behind him instead and touching his back with soothing hands.

"But, little honeysuckle, that does not mean you both should not enjoy it regardless. Clearly I should not like to be without you, but I would be much more unhappy if my mere existence kept you from something you so clearly adore."

Damien blinks, and then he lifts his face to frown up at the monster. "But, Arum-"

"This is important to you," he murmurs. "And it is important to me that our arrangement does not prevent you from taking little joys where you can. I apologize for... for snapping at you, in my frustration." He leans down, nudging their foreheads together and sighing. "I am sorry that I allowed my own... that I turned my own pain outward to cause you distress as well. I want you to go. I want you to go, and I want you to enjoy the evening as much as you are able."

Damien makes a small noise, helpless, and then he wraps his arms around the monster and squeezes, hugging him tightly enough that Arum gives a surprised exhale, and then a low soft laugh.

"Oh Arum-"

"I want you to be happy, Damien. I want you both to be happy, even if I cannot be always by your side to be happy with you."

Damien hugs Arum even tighter for a moment, until the monster makes a small breathless noise, and then he loosens his grip enough that he can tilt his head, pressing a kiss to the edge of Arum's jaw, and he cannot help but feel the tears rallying again at the gentle purring noise that rumbles deep in Arum's throat.

"I love you," Damien croons, his lips still touching scales. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry we cannot-"

"It is no one's fault," Arum says again, even more gently. "What we have together already, despite the current conflict... what we have together is already something miraculous. We should not be greedy, I think," he grumbles, his voice performatively grumpy, and Damien chokes on a laugh.

"Oh, so greedy of us, wanting to dance together," Rilla grumbles behind him, her hands gentle on his sides, and he's surprised to hear a small note of sourness in her voice.

"Still," Damien says after a moment, soft and sad. "Still. I cannot help my feelings, cannot help how much I wish..."

Arum nuzzles Damien's cheek with his snout, sighing. "I know. Loathe as I am to admit it... clearly I wish, as well. We knew this would be... complicated when we began together. This is simply something we must swallow, for the moment. Perhaps, someday, we will not need to."

"I do not want to leave you here alone while Rilla and I-"

"I will be fine, honeysuckle," Arum says, shifting back enough that he can lift a hand to brush Damien's hair from his forehead. "I promise. To begin with, I am not alone, so to speak. I am never alone within my Keep."

"You know that isn't what he meant," Rilla says, and Arum rolls his eyes.

"Obviously. But I meant only to assure him that I will not be curled into a ball and wallowing. I will have company, should I desire it, and I will be fine. I apologize, again, for speaking cruelly to you. I've... gotten it out of my system, as Amaryllis is fond of saying," he says with a light sneer, and Damien can see him burying a grin as Rilla raises a skeptical eyebrow at him. "I will not be too terribly bothered by anything but the lack of your warmth. It is only one evening, after all."

"Well... I suppose, if- if you are certain-"

"I am certain, honeysuckle." He nudges his snout against Damien's temple, then, a sweet echo of a kiss, and then he steps back, squeezing Damien's hands before he drops them. "You should go. I will be dearly disappointed if I have managed to entirely ruin this evening for you."

Damien frowns, his stomach still twisting with uncertainty, with how wrong it feels to leave in such a way. "But-"

"He said he'd be fine, Damien," Rilla says, and her shrug is exactly as casual as her words, but when Damien turns towards her to continue to voice his distress, she-

Winks, with the eye that Arum cannot see in their current positions.

"It's just one night. We'll all manage to muddle through for just tonight, and then we'll all do something together later this week. Okay?"

Damien frowns, very lightly, his confusion bubbling, but-

Well. He knows her, knows that particular quirk of her lips, knows the way her eyebrows raise when she silently tells him to trust, to trust her.

He does, of course. He always does.

"I... I suppose..." he murmurs, still confused enough that he cannot think of any better words to say.

"We'll make an appearance, at least. If we aren't enjoying ourselves, there's no reason not to just... slip out early, yeah? And-" she turns to Arum, ducking her head slightly as she lifts a hand to touch his shoulder, smiling when he leans into the contact. "Can we just... come back here later tonight? Just to sleep, or- whatever. You don't have to wait up for us, if you don't want to, but-"

"Of course you may," Arum says quickly, frowning. "Always. You are always welcome and wanted, here." And then, as if to soften the certainty, the enormity of the always he has just offered, he scowls. "And I certainly will not wait up, so you may waste no consideration on that outcome."

Rilla grins, soft and bright and sweet, and Damien knows as well as she does that the monster is lying.

"I love you," Damien says again, because he cannot hold the words inside while they sit scalding at the back of his tongue.

Arum's expression softens, surprise and aching fondness shaping his features, and he steps closer again so he may pull the both of them into his arms.

"I love you as well," the monster murmurs, sighing into their hair. "Now go and have your fun, will you? I expect further tales of glory and exultation when you return."

"Love you too," Rilla says with a snorting laugh, rolling her eyes as she pushes his scaled arms away, but Damien's heart still aches.

"I..." he trails off, uncertain, and he clings to one of Arum's hands for another moment.

"Please," Arum says softly. "Enjoy the evening for me, if you cannot enjoy it with me. I will still be here, when you tire of the lamplight."

"Alright," Damien says slowly, and then he kisses the back of Arum's hand before he releases it. "Until tomorrow, then, Lord Arum."

When the Keep opens a portal for them back to Rilla's hut, Damien does his best not to allow his eyes to linger on his lily for too terribly long. Rilla takes him by the hand, thankfully, and her unruffled feathers soothe Damien's own jagged edges as the portal closes again behind them.

When they are alone, Damien sighs, but he rallies his nerves in only a moment, and he raises an eyebrow as Rilla's grin goes toothy and wild.

"Alright. Alright, my flower. May I know, now, precisely what you have planned for our love?"

"Okay," Rilla says, her voice nearly trembling with her sly delight, "so, tell me if you like this idea-"

#elle's fanfic #the penumbra podcast #second citadel #rad bouquet #lizard kissin' tuesday #sir damien #lord arum #amaryllis of exile #a moment as an optimist #feed me comments i am famished

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entireoranges · 3 years ago

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My So Weird 2.1 Project

Here is my idea for a So Weird revival show. I tried my best to keep in the spirit of the original show while also making it’s own show that can stand on it’s own. I will say I am really bad supernatural elements so in some the episode summaries are pretty lacking, but in your mind just assume something weird/unexplainable in fact did happen.

I picked out the actors before writing this up and I’ll be honest some no longer “fit” how I imagine the characters to be for various reasons, still I shall include it. Finally I tried to think of original actors that might be willing to do it again, though who really knows LOL. Regardless it’s all a bit of fun!

With all that said I hope you guys like it.

Characters / Cast Jack Phillips (Patrick Levis) Age: 38 Annie Thelen (Alexz Johnson) Age: 36 Kevin Thelen-Phillips (Jacob Ballinger) Age: 13 Kathleen/Quinn Thelen-Phillips (Ella Allan) Age: 11 Kennedy Thelen-Phillips (Mia Allan) Age: 11 Gregory White (Aaron Jennings) Age: 35 Isabella White (Zoe Kravitz) Age: 34 Jackson White (Evan Alex) Age: 14 Olive White (McKenna Roberts) Age: 13 Carey Bell (Eric Lively) Age: 40 Molly Phillips (Mackenzie Phillips) Age: 62 Emily Bell (Mackenzie Foy) Age: 19 Ned Bell (Dave Squatch Ward) Age: 65

Recurring/Special Cast Clu Bell (Erik Von Detten) Age: 39 Irene Bell (Belinda Metz) Age: 64 Gabe Crawford (Jane McGregor) Age: 38 James McDonald (Lachlan Murdoch) Age: 33 Phillip McDonald (TBD) Age: 3 Tad Raxall (Garwin Sanford)

Summary

Photographer Jack Phillips with his wife pop singer Annie Thelen live in Los Angeles California. The couple has a 13 year old son named Kevin and twins Kathleen and Kennedy aged 11. Because of the nature of both their jobs the couple has to travel fairly frequently. Jack tries to book photography assignments that align with Annie's various tours. When they can the children are brought along, in the instances in which it is not possible the children stay with his mother Molly Phillips, her boyfriend Carey Bell, and their 19 year old daughter Emily. Jack along with Annie often visit or are visited by his best friend Clu Bell, his wife Scarlet and their five children. Though with Clu and his family living in Australia where he runs a surfing company its difficult to find time for the visits. Annie is best friends with Isabella White who works as her personal assistant. Her husband Gregory is good friends with Jack as well. Gregory and Isabella have Jackson 14 and Olive who is 11. Its a hectic but fulfilling life.

Then everything turns on it's head when Jack receives a panicked phone call from his younger sister's,(Fiona) boyfriend James McDonald saying she is gone. Jack soon learns that Fiona, after investigating a so-called paranormal occurrence, has gone missing. James pleads with Jack to look for her, saying it is his destiny and fate to find her, protect her. Having washed his hands of her fantasies and almost her, with the exception of holidays Jack at first refuses.

Annie who herself for a few years in her teenage years had a passing interest in the paranormal herself tells Jack that they have to find Fiona. It'll be difficult road with many mysteries and things Jack has always been unwilling to see, but to save his sister it's time to open his eyes. Jack questions Annie how she knows this, but like many things she can't explain and to just trust her.

Though her management team at first is angry at the decision Annie tells them she is doing a small intimate tour across the United States and and will be traveling in a bus. They don't preplan the venues, only give a few days' warning and often playing in small, almost hole in the wall locations. The stops are decided by Annie's gut reactions and more often than not there are signs Fiona had just been there or has something connected to her.

Jack and Annie bring their three children along with them and hire Gregory to drive the tour bus. Isabella and the kids come as well. Its a crowded environment but somehow they make it work.

After a few weeks of not finding Fiona, Molly decides she too wants to be out there looking for her, having also lost her husband years ago to mysterious circumstances. Annie arranges for Molly to be the opening act on her tour, even though Molly at this point was pretty much retired. Carey and Emily come along as well, with him serving as lead guitarist to Molly as he did years ago.

Jack and Annie also ask for Ned Bell to come along and serve as a tutor for the children, wanting a hands on approach for their education and not strictly computer based. Ned, Molly, Carey, and Emily travel and stay on a second bus throughout the tour, that Ned drives. They told him they'd hire someone but he insisted and refused to take payment for it.

Fiona and James also have a 3 year old son named Phillip. James stays at home, along with Phillip, in case Fiona returns and does what he can from his end.

---- Character personality traits / notes

Jack: Serious. Stubborn. Willing to listen to others. Dedicated husband and father. Logical. Very similar to the Jack seen in the 1999-200 iteration but a bit more forthright on not believing the weird occurrences.

Annie: Hard working. Outgoing. Embraces the world around her. Finds beauty/joy in everything. Very attuned to things, often unexplained. Loving wife and mother.

Kevin: Hockey fan. Loves to pester the twins. Talented guitarist, interested in becoming a musician one day like his mom (and grandparents). Embraces the weird stuff but doesn't care to dive into the deeper meanings of why or how.

Kathleen: Enjoys photography like their dad. Excels in school and loves learning. Gets frustrated at others, especially their twin, when they discuss or point out weird occurrences. Has had a few strange things happen to them, but stubbornly ignores.

Kennedy: Very close to her aunt Fiona. Full blown believer in the weird. Has a dedicated social media accounts to share her beliefs and have others share theirs. Which includes a YouTube channel that does fairly well. Constantly worries the adults around her.

Gregory: Very outgoing. Loves to cook, especially bbq.

Isabella: A bit shy. Very dedicated to her job and client/best friend.

Jackson: Best friends with Kevin. Talented at sports. Bit of a jokester and likes to play pranks on people.

Olive: Wants to be a pop singer and idolizes Annie. Has a habit of stretching the truth. Gets along equally with both of the twins.

Carey: Very much go with the flow type. Played with a few bands after Molly stopped touring/performing but none of them ever had any mentionable success. Took up woodworking and diy projects.

Molly: Dedicated and protective towards her children, grandchildren, and boyfriend. Doesn't take crap from anyone especially when it comes to her relationship with Carey. She grew tired of being the well behaved don't make the record executives angry type of client and started following her heart. Now twenty years into the relationship hardly anyone cares anymore though. With the help of her daughters she slowly started opening up to perhaps there is something special about her and her connection to the unseen, much to Jack's frustration.

Emily: Loves things like tarot, zodiacs, psychic readings, and similar things. Very entuned to nature and animals, is a vegan. However doesn't believe in aliens or mythical supernatural creatures like bigfoot. Does freelance writing time to time. Is also a very talented painter.

Ned: Outgoing. A bit lonely after his divorce with Irene. He accepted and supported Carey's relationship with Molly, while she refused and it created a wedge between them. Works as a substitute teacher from time to time. Bought a boat and can be found out on the water nearly every weekend.

Episode Summaries

EP1: Pilot There is tension between Jack and Annie because he thinks this road trip/tour is a waste of time. At a fuel stop Jack sees a deer standing in a nearby field and takes a picture of it in his digital camera, when he views the image in the preview window the deer is not there, but instead Fiona of when she was about three years old. Gregory and Isabella have to deal with Jackson flooding the bathroom on the bus. Meanwhile Kendall live streams while her mom is doing her show and gets into an argument with a viewer about aliens.

EP2: Welcome To Our Memories They make a stop in Hope Springs to visit for a day. Emily insists on giving all the children a tarot reading. Kathleen is told a big change is coming for them, finding all this rubbish they ignore it. The gang looks through photo albums and home videos. Kevin asks if he can have his grandfather’s old guitar. Four new people join the road trip/tour when Molly expresses being tired of sitting around while her daughter is missing.

EP3: Journey Down A Path Unseen Jack has an awkward and tense encounter with his former girlfriend Gabe who promised Fiona ten years ago to come to this certain hotel at this time and date. She gives him a sealed envelope containing a note of bunch of seemingly random symbols. Olive and Kennedy sneak into a local party after Kennedy learned via social media the location is haunted. While at the party Olive gets drunk. EP4: My Sister's Guardian Kevin witness Kathleen getting harassed for the way they dress and style their hair and he gets into a fight with the teenagers doing the harassment, in the scuffle he breaks his wrist. Annie and Isabella have a night out on the town.

EP5: Gemini Storms The twins celebrate their 12th birthday. And end up getting into a huge fight. Emily gets mad at Carey after he finds out she's been chatting with an older guy, she questions why he was allowed (and still has) a relationship with someone who is older and she can't. Tad surprises the gang with a visit.

EP6: Tangled Threads James calls in a panic saying now Phillip is missing too. Molly and Jack take a flight to help in the search. Kathleen has a dream in which they are standing in a white room with their grandfather Rick who whispers follow me and walks seemingly through a wall. Kennedy get jealous when some girls flirt with Jackson. Carey helps Kevin practice his guitar playing after having his brace removed.

EP7: 2:39 AM Phillip is located in a park at 2:39 am. When asked how he got there or for details he states he can't remember anything. Elsewhere at the same time Gregory is rushed to the ER with appendicitis. Leaving the group stuck in this small town for a while, Kennedy soon figures out its famous for UFO sightings and abductions. Emily decides to give a few psychic readings and do some memory regression sessions on a few of the local residents to figure out what's really happening. Almost all of them mention seeing a door with 239 marked on it. Molly and Jack return to the group. Molly mentions that she received the knock on the door informing her of Rick's death at 2:39.

EP10: Shadow Melodies Annie wakes up with a melody stuck in her head that almost becomes deafening and nothing she tries can get it out. Kathleen doesn't know what to do when the boys arrange a fishing trip while the girls all get together for an all day spa excursion. Clu video chats with the gang. They receive sad news when they learn Molly’s father Collin has died.

EP11: One Moment After At Collin's funeral Jack is nearly blinded with hatred towards his sister for not being present at such a crucial event. He announces after the service that he's done and he's flying back home. He lets the kids decide what they want to do. Kathleen is the only one who asks to come with him. Annie tries to get Jack to stay going back to her reasonings as to why it's his destiny to find Fiona. He refuses to listen and still boards the flight. During the flight there is severe turbulence and the plane loses power. When the power comes back Kathleen is missing.

EP12: Brave Ruler Friend Of Horses Kathleen finds themselves in the same white dream from a few months ago. They find both their grandfather's and great grandfather sitting at a table with an empty chair. Nervous Kathleen decides to take a seat with them. Grandfather Rick tells them their the one. Grandfather Kevin tells them not to be scared and they are never alone. While Collin tells them about not to hide from the truth the same way as he has when it came to what their family has been for generations. Still confused, Kathleen questions what exactly they mean and states perhaps all this is meant for Kennedy. The men tell them no. Rick gives one last piece of information 'to follow their heart on all things' and suddenly finds themselves back on the plane where Jack and the flight attendants are very confused but relived. Kathleen announces they are changing their name to Quinn. And tells their dad that once the plane lands they are going back.

Other notes and head canons. Jack and Fiona had a falling out because she got into the paranormal after promising to leave it alone. This time harder than ever. He felt she was obsessed, almost addicted to it. And watching her on this path became too much for him; so he started distancing himself from her.

Jack and Molly were distant for a while as well, him not being accepting of her relationship with Carey, it wasn’t until he became a father himself did he start to heal their relationship.

James is the same James from the original run of the show Tulpa/PK.

When it comes to the differences of Kennedy and Kathleen/Quinn; Kennedy thinks/wants to have the connection to the paranormal, even the scary elements while in reality nothing ever noteworthy happens to her. While Kathleen/Quinn doesn’t care, almost hates it but yet everything odd happens to them the paranormal is connected to them. As I told my husband … it’s like your parents being famous and talented oil painters and you desperately want to have the same talent so you study for years but are just ok; then your sibling has never expressed interest one day picks up a brush and is a prodigy at it.

Though in the episode summaries I don’t mention the White family a lot they are important to the show, much like how the Bells were important in the original So Weird.

As seen in the summary of episode 12 Annie’s father has passed away at the point and her and Jack do name their son after him.

--- I know it’s not the best and has a lot of holes, but I did try!

#my thoughts #so weird #so weird disney #my so weird revival project

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putschki1969 · 4 years ago

Text

Hikaru Real Sound Interview ~ English Translation

Note: Here we have another great long-ass interview. I feel like I have spent way too much time translating interviews the past two days. I am dead. But it was worth it. Reading those interviews is so much fun so I want more people to be able to experience that. Once again Hikaru talks a lot about Kalafina and we get some more insight regarding the two songs of her single. The interviewer is an avid Kala-fan and he asks some interesting questions. As always, take everything you read with a grain of salt. My Japanese is by no means perfect and English is not my first language. CREDIT me if you share this interview or parts of it.

Hikaru// reveals behind-the-scenes information of her solo project activities ~ "If it hadn’t been for my 10 years as part of Kalafina, there would be no H-el-ical//"

Hikaru//’s (ex. Kalafina) Solo Project H-el-ical// ・Major Debut Single "Altern-ate-" released on May 20

Hikaru// has regularly posted songs under the name stage-name H-el-ical// on YouTube since May 2019. In the blink of an eye the solo project of “Kalafina’s Hikaru” attracted a lot of attention and at the end of last year, she held a one-man live at Kanagawa Prefectural Hall. At her sold-out concert she announced her major debut with a song that would be adopted as the opening theme for the TV anime "Gleipnir" which is currently airing.

Kalafina was known as a masterpiece in the anime song world, at the peak of their success they held a 2 Day Live at Tokyo Budokan. After the group had stopped their activities in the spring of 2018, what were Hikaru//’s thoughts and how did she start her solo project? She shared a wide range of stories, from her past activities right up until her feelings regarding her major debut as a solo artist.

H-el-ical// is a project of “elevation” shared with everyone

ーー Kalafina’s activities came to a halt in March 2018, you started to publish songs on YouTube under the name of H-el-ical// in May 2019. What did you do during this 1 year break?

Hikaru//: I was working in a nursery school as a childcare assistant, something I had always felt connected with.

ーー So you lived a life separated from music?

Hikaru//: Working at a nursery school felt very therapeutic and it once again made me aware of the preciousness of life. In the meantime I was searching for the music I wanted to do. I worried that I wouldn’t be able to make a proper comeback and create music without someone supporting me. During that time someone who I had known from my Kalafina days reached out to me, I was able to meet up with him. I remember we talked about various things, “what should I do?” “Right now I am thinking about this kind of thing” “I would like to try doing this sort of music.”

ーー What IS the kind of music you want to do?

Hikaru//: Since I have learned so much as a member of Kalafina that will always be a part of me, I would not want to let go of that aspect entirely. I also want to pursue all the music I am capable of making now that I am a solo artist. I want to create music that incorporates various elements without being bound by a single genre. I also really wanted to try and write my own lyrics.

ーー Gushimiyagi Hideyuki-san has been in charge of composing all the songs you have released on YouTube under your name H-el-ical//, right? He seems like a perfect fit for you. In the past he has been active as guitar player in bands such as “MUKASHIBANASHI” and “creature falls umbrella”.

Hikaru//: That's right. I met Gushimiyagi-san when he was introduced to me by Tomita (Akihiro)-san, my producer. During our first meeting he gave me a demo tape and told me, “I wrote these two songs for you with your image in mind!” Those songs were “pulsation” which was the first song I released on YouTube, and “Avaricia”, the second song that got released.

ーー So this specific Gushimiyagi-Sound was something you wanted for yourself?

Hikaru//: Yes! I'm sorry, I can't really explain why but I really like Gushimiyagi-san's music (laughs).

ーー H-el-ical//’s music has a signature guitar sound but it’s not plain guitar rock. It sounds more like Post-Rock music. At any rate, it really fits you, it’s very Hikaru//-like.

Hikaru//: ...Hmm, I wonder why? I guess these songs are also very Hikaru//-like because I am writing the lyrics myself and I am in full control during the recording...I am listening to the demo tapes by Gushimiyagi-san and then I will come up with all kinds of ideas, “I want to sing it like this” or “I want to use this kind of voice”. This way I am adopting a specific style for each song.

ーー By the way, I wonder why you chose the name “H-el-ical//”? Why not use a big brand name like "Kalafina's Hikaru" that everyone would have recognised? I was honestly surprised that you didn’t put that name up-front.

Hikaru//: I think that might be due to everything I learned as part of Kalafina. From the get-go I had wanted to become a solo singer and I did countless auditions but then I found out that I would get the opportunity to join Kalafina. During the following ten years of activity I learned that there are many things in life that you cannot do on your own. There is only so much a single person can do. There have always been Wakana-san and Keiko-san, the musicians, staff members and of course everyone who supported us, the fans. If it hadn’t been for all of them our music would not have been possible. With these experiences in mind I felt very forlorn and disheartened when I thought about starting a solo career (laughs). You can’t do something like that without the help and support from others.

ーー So “H-el-ical//” is the name of your solo project but you are not "H-el-ical//"? The name includes everyone who is working with you, the music production team, recording staff and composer.

Hikaru//: And the audience too. "Helical" means "spiral". When I looked up the word "spiral" in a dictionary, I found the following description, "a line with a basic repeating structure that rises infinitely without ever remaining in the same position". I feel the same way about my singing and continuing to make music, I chose the word “Helical” because I have the desire to make progress, to reach higher and to create music together with everyone. In the end I also felt like adding some hyphens (laughs).

ーー The hyphens ...Yes, I want to know more about the hyphens (laughs). When you first see the name "H-el-ical//", I wondered whether I should separate the word into different syllables? But you put the hyphens into positions that have nothing to do with syllables so you can’t really separate the name into different parts.

Hikaru//: Well, to start with, I would like you to read the name omitting the "-el-" in the middle.

ーー Ah, it is read as 「ヒカル」"Hi Ka Ru"!

Hikaru//: That's right (laughs). Also, the "el" in the middle is "elevation", which means "going higher or ascending", something is increasing by adding an outside force or element. In other words, it means that you can make progress not only by using your own power but also through the power of the people around you.

ーー As you said earlier, this project is about reaching higher together with everyone, right? Now let’s talk about the two slashes, you are using them in your stage name "H-el-ical//" but also for your name "Hikaru//", why did you add them at the end?

Hikaru//: It is supposed to mean that I have proven what I wanted to prove, a sort of proof of my existence, Q.E.D. “thus it has been demonstrated”. “This is H-el-ical//’s music”, “this is Hikaru//’s music”. That's why my name is Hikaru// when I work for my project “H-el-ical//” but this summer when I am performing as a guest vocalist at Kajiura-san’s live ("Yuki Kajiura LIVE vol. #16 ~ Sing a Song Tour 2020 ~") I am called "Hikaru".

ーー There is another big question people have regarding your “H-el-ical//” activities, why did you decide to release music for free on YouTube back in May 2019? To be honest, with a big name like "Kalafina's Hikaru" I assume you could have gotten many offers from a variety of major labels, even if you had just released a CD independently or focussed on doing a few lives, I think you could have generated some nice sales and mobilised a considerable amount of fans...

Hikaru//: No, no, no. Life is not that easy (laughs).

ーー Oh really, I thought in your case it would have been easy ...

Hikaru//: I think this break was necessary, everyone needed some time to heal, after all, I had no idea how long it would take for people to accept me as a solo artist without any attachment to Kalafina. That’s why I started by posting videos on YouTube, I was very excited about that (laughs).

The story of "Kalafina’s Hikaru" and "H-el-ical//’s Hikaru//"

ーー However, contrary to what you may have expected, your MV "pulsation" which was released in May 2019 has currently more than 70,000 views. And of course at the time of its publication it caused quite some turmoil online.

Hikaru//: I didn’t include my name “Hikaru//” when I posted "pulsation" and the songs released afterwards, they were all released under the name “H-el-ical//” but right away there were people in the comment section of YouTube wondering if this was “Kalafina’s Hikaru” (laughs).

ーー It’s no surprise, ”Kalafina’s Hikaru” had a great influence so your secret was leaked (laughs).

Hikaru//: I wanted to start by assembling some songs as an unidentified artist called H-el-ical//, then when it was decided that I would join my current agency Hifumi it was finally revealed that “H-el-ical//” was my solo project. At that time I got many messages saying, “I knew it was you!”

ーー With more than 70,000 views I guess it’s safe to say that not everyone watching knew who was behind H-el-ical//, I think there must have been many people who had no idea of the existence of Kalafina.

Hikaru//: That made me very happy. Of course, Kalafina's Hikaru is forever linked to H-el-ical// because it is in fact me but I started releasing music under my solo project “H-el-ical//” so it really boosted my confidence that there were actually people who said they liked H-el-ical// as an independent artist without any association to Kalafina.

ーー After the release of "pulsation" and after revealing the identity of H-el-ical// you were busy releasing songs on YouTube, how do you make music together with Gushimiyagi-san who is in charge of the composition and arrangement?

Hikaru//: As I mentioned, the first two songs were written based on the image he had of me, with the other songs I made vague suggestions, asking for all kinds of things such as “Southeast-Asian” vibes, something with a “earthy” feel or songs that would get the audience super hyped during a live.

ーー Now that you mention it I am amazed because H-el-ical//’s discography is indeed filled with songs that have a "Southeast-Asian” or “earth-like” sound. In other words, I think Gushimiyagi-san really tried his best to do your orders justice.

Hikaru//: They were more like rough requests (laughs).

ーー Yes (laughs). So why do you think Gushimiyagi-san was able to fulfil your "rough requests" so perfectly?

Hikaru//: Who knows why? Gushimiyagi-san always says, "the variety of songs I can write for H-el-ical// increases steadily”. He often comes across as confused but then he will suddenly pull all these amazing “Southeast-Asian” and “earth-like” songs out of his hat. After recording a song I would always talk with Gushimiyagi-san and Tomita-san about what kind of songs to do next. Whenever I suggested something abstract like a "Southeast-Asian song" Tomita-san would name a handful of specific artists and songs for reference asking if I meant something like that. I guess it’s due to those follow-up discussions that Gushimiyagi-san was able to fulfil my requests so perfectly.

ーー You are releasing your single "Altern-ate-" this month, pretty much one year after you started your activities as H-el-ical//. How does this solo debut feel for you? Despite your great achievements as part of Kalafina - such as holding a 2-Day Live at Nippon Budokan - does this somehow feel different to your past experiences?

Hikaru//: It feels completely different. Precisely because this is not Kalafina (laughs). Until now, Kajiura-san wrote the songs and lyrics, I was singing together with Wakana-san and Keiko-san to bring someone else’s music to life. that music was loved by many people but this time around it’s just me, it’s only Hikaru//. So I was incredibly worried.

ーー Did you feel uneasy even after your YouTube videos had gained a lot of attention and your live at Kanagawa Prefectural Hall last year had been a huge success?

Hikaru//: I had a wonderful time at that concert thanks to everyone who attended it that day but now that I am releasing my single "Altern-ate-", I am filled with anxiety and nervousness (laughs).

ーー At that live you announced your major debut as a solo artist and that your debut song would be the opening theme for the TV anime "Gleipnir" which is currently airing.

Hikaru//: Yes.

ーー H-el-ical// is credited as lyricist for the opening song "Altern-ate-" of the anime "Gleipnir", as is the case with all your previous songs, you have written the lyrics yourself, right? Did you have any experience writing lyrics before your activities as a solo artist?

Hikaru//: No. I has always wanted to write the lyrics but as Kalafina we were dedicated to singing Kajiura-san's songs.

ーー So it’s been about one year since you have started writing lyrics?

Hikaru//: Yes, my lyrics are still 1st grade level (laughs).

ーー It doesn’t feel like that. You come across as very articulate, your lyrics are incredibly complex.

Hikaru//: Oh !? Really? Thank you!

ーー I guess the line〈二人で一つ | two people in one〉that appears repeatedly in your lyrics reflects the relationship between Shuichi Kagaya, the protagonist of the anime who has the ability to transform into a giant mascot plushie, and the heroine Clair Aoki. Additionally, you have included a lot of key elements from the Norse mythology in your lyrics, the original “Gleipnir” work was heavily influenced by these elements. Some examples are 〈猫の足音 | the noise a cat makes in foot-fall〉〈岩の根 | the roots of a rock〉〈鳥たちは生唾飲む | the spittle of birds〉〈魚さえ息潜めて | the breath of a fish〉〈髭が棘みたいにいたい（彼女はもういない）| the beard of a woman〉〈熊の腱 | the sinews of a bear〉.

Hikaru//: Yes. I'm so happy you got a those references (laughs).

ーー Yes, I'm very familiar with the anime and the original work. So when I read through your lyrics I thought, "oh, this person is very talented."

Hikaru//: I am a big reader and I love to read all kinds of stuff into something (laughs). I have always loved anime and manga .... Basically I am just a big otaku...

ーー It's quite obvious when you look at your Instagram (laughs). You are posting pictures of all the manga you have read in a day or a cover photo of a "Princess Principal" CD.

Hikaru//: I guess I am a little obsessed (laughs). But that's why when it was decided I would write the lyrics for an anime song, I wanted something that really sounded like an anime song. By the time I wrote the lyrics, 6 volumes of the original manga had already been released so while reading through those 6 volumes over and over again, I assembled all words that reminded me of my favorite lines and the most impressive scenes. The original manga is a wonderful work so I didn’t have much trouble writing the lyrics. My love for anime and manga makes it possible that I can write such lyrics so I really wanted to write something special.

ーー In addition, 〈二人で一つ | two people in one〉can also be interpreted as a reflection of the “H-el-ical//” project, it showcases your determination to work together as a team consisting of Hikaru//, your composer, the staff members and all the fans. In the story of "Gleipnir", were there any scenes that resonated strongly with you?

Hikaru//: Yes. One of the goals of watching anime and reading manga is to immerse yourself in a fantasy world and to escape reality but actually it has the opposite effect for me. After returning from the fantasy worlds of anime and manga, I always feel like I have learned a lot and I gain the courage to face reality. “This part of the story applies to my current situation”, “Should I act like this when I am faces with these kinds of challenges?” It’s things like that which you learn while reading manga and watching anime. When it comes to “Gleipnir” I strongly sympathise with the characters who are facing hardships and who are struggling to overcome the obstacles that are put in their way. That’s because I as Hikaru// am trying to pursue an ideal image of myself as a singer. In the pursuit of this image I often come across hurdles or I hit a wall. In moments like this I needed the help of my friends to overcome those obstacles.

ーー One part of the lyrics strikes me as particularly strange, it’s a line that appears multiple times in your lyrics as well as in the manga and anime,〈この物語の主役じゃない | I am not the protagonist of this story〉. I felt like that line didn’t really suit you?

Hikaru//: Oh really?

ーー Because you are always front and center on the stage, aren’t you? That was the case back in your Kalafina days and it was the same during your H-el-ical// live last year at Kanagawa Prefectural Hall.

Hikaru//: Well, that's something I learned during my time as a member of Kalafina, most of the time the parts I was singing were not the main melody. When Wakana-san and Keiko-san were taking the lead, I was providing the harmonies, during those moments I often thought about my position. It's important to create a good balance with the lead but I also wanted the audience to know that I was singing, I wanted my vocals to be heard. I was constantly wondering about my role when standing on stage so actually, I can very much relate to the words “I am not the protagonist of this story”.

ーー At first glance the line has a negative ring to it but actually it's a positive message. Even if you're not the protagonist your presence on stage is meaningful and you will get your chance to shine there.

Hikaru//: Not only the protagonist but all the characters around him are indispensable to the story.

"Altern-ate-" is connecting "Gleipnir" and H-el-ical//

ーー How did you come up with the title ...

Hikaru//: Oh, actually my manager came up with the idea (laughs).

ーー But it was you who made the final decision, right?

Hikaru//: It was quite similar to the title I was originally thinking of. The word "Alternate" as in “alternating”/”mutual” is an important keyword in the work "Gleipnir".

ーー It's a story of "two in one” where Shuichi and Clair are becoming one to fight off enemies and grow to adulthood.

Hikaru//: I also like that there is are hyphens surrounding "ate". After all, "ate" is the past tense of "eat"? For me this word conveys an image of "fighting for your survival." There are various difficulties in life, you have to race ahead, there is always this underlying feeling of having to fight. So I think the title "Altern-ate-" is really fitting.

ーー This is just my impression as a long-time Kalafina fan but I was surprised to see you reveal such a raw fighting spirit.

Hikaru//: Oh really? When I was singing back then I guess I was mostly in charge of the dramatic and emotional parts (laughs).

ーー Of course your singing was very cool during the Kalafina era but during the MCs you always seemed so cute and reserved. For example, when you were introducing the live goods you always tried your best to appeal to the fans by saying things like, "please don’t forget to walk past the merch booth before you go home". From these moments I always got the impression you were a very cheerful and lively person...

Hikaru//: Hahahaha (laughs). Certainly there may be such an image. But basically, I am super stubborn and not very flexible. When I had just joined I was incredibly shy so I never talked to the other members. But then Wakana-san and Keiko-san would tell me, "You have to talk to us or otherwise we don’t know what you are thinking, please try to talk a little more?" That’s when I knew I had to start getting involved with people little by little. I realised that I can make better music by communicating with the others and relying on them.

ーー So did you choose the title “Altern-ate-” because it emphasises “mutuality”?

Hikaru//: Yes, the “H-el-ical//” project is something I decided I wanted to make together with everyone, I will continue to make music with the help of various people.

ーー What kind of request did you have for Gushimiyagi-san in regard to this song?

Hikaru//: This time I didn’t have a particular request for him, Gushimiyagi-san was entrusted with the requests from the people responsible for the anime production.

ーー But it feels very much in line with all the other H-el-ical// songs that have been released on YouTube so far. It all comes together nicely, there’s no distortion.

Hikaru//: I think that’s because Gushimiyagi-san always makes "Music for H-el-ical//" and I am writing the lyrics. Another reason may be that the H-el-ical// team is in control of the final sound by participating in the mix work.

ーー Do you record what appeals to you or rather what you think appeals to the listener?

Hikaru//: I'm not all too familiar with the technical aspects of music but during mixdown and trackdown I always share my first impression and other opinions. But of course I have no choice but to leave all the stuff I am clueless about to the experts. I always have to remind myself of that (laughs).

ーー I guess that’s where your stubbornness comes through a little ...

Hikaru//: With 10 years worth of experience as part of Kalafina I now know that the best things in life are born out of group efforts, of willingly entrusting certain duties to others.

ーー The name and sound design may be different but it seems like your story as Kalafina’s Hikaru is beautifully connected to your story as H-el-ical//’s Hikaru//.

Hikaru//: If it hadn't been for my 10 years as part of Kalafina, there would be no H-el-ical//.

ーー Now let’s talk about the B-Side "clea-rly-". This is a non-tie-up song.

Hikaru//: I wrote the lyrics having the image of a strong spirited girl in mind.

ーー Did you put part of yourself in the lyrics?

Hikaru//: This ties back to what I said earlier, there is a fantasy element in the music but in addition, it plays a role in being able to face reality. The song "clea-rly-", is about a pure but slightly arrogant girl... In a sense, you could say she is a Tsundere. Singing about a girl like that feels like a fantasy coming true so I really wanted to sing it (laughs)...

ーー Is that a motif that inspired by Gushimiyagi-san's melody and arrangement? Or is it your favourite girl image?

Hikaru//: Some of it was inspired by the melody but I also let myself be influenced by the fact that it is the B-Side of the opening theme of "Gleipnir".

ーー So because this was the B-Side of the OP for “Gleipnir” you felt the strong urge to sing a song about a Tsundere Girl?

Hikaru//: Since this is my debut single I really wanted to use the momentum and arrive with a bang. That's why the B-Side is also an up-tempo song. I did worry a lot about the lyrics though. Tomita-san said, "why don't you pay tribute to "Gleipnir "and let yourself be inspired by another character?" "Altern-ate- "is basically from Shuichi’s point of view so he suggested I should focus on another character for the B-Side. That’s how I came up with the idea of singing about a girl like Clair.

ーー Clair definitely gives off Tsundere vibes. The lyrics of this song are once again really good. In the first chorus you sang 〈どんな非情な手だって全て〉 and in the second chorus you sang 〈どんな非常な日だって全て〉. Instead of the words rhyming, you are playing with words by using homonyms.

Hikaru//: Hahahaha(laughs). I have always loved reading books and back in the day when I was blogging for Kalafina I would always start my blog posts with a word game. I enjoy doing tricky stuff like that.

ーー The title of the song, "clea-rly-", is also separated by hyphens ...

Hikaru//: Please try to read the first 4 letters (laughs).

ーー Ah! It's "clea" (KuReA = Clair)!

Hikaru//: That's right (laughs).

ーー I think with your great vocals - popular ever since your Kalafina days -, the great music, the fascinating lyrics and the intriguing rhetoric in the titles your single is more than worthy of H-el-ical//’s major debut. But what are your plans for the future?

Hikaru//: Of course it’s very difficult to talk about wanting to hold lives in the current situation, But of course I'm going to continue to make music, I enjoy being together with you through the "H-el-ical//" project, I hope I can create good music and perform it live someday soon. I had my debut with an anime tie-up but I will do non-tie-ups too so I would like to continue releasing H-el-ical// songs on my official YouTube channel.

ーー Actually, you released three songs in a row shortly before “Gleipnir” was airing and during the broadcast period. You released 「水 – Find your answer」,「風 – Struggle to admit」and「地 – Side by side」just before and immediately after your major debut song was distributed on TV. I was taken aback by your seemingly endless desire to create (laughs).

Hikaru//: I had planned to do an acoustic live on April 5, I was meant to perform 5 new songs for that. I decided to release those 5 songs independently on a CD titled "elements" which was available for purchase in my online shop. Three of those songs I already released on YouTube. In situations like this, I would like to explore what I can do as H-el-ical// and find new ways to enjoy music with you.

#kalafina #hikaru #my translation #my translations #interview #real sound #hikaru//#helical #h-el-ical//#altern-ate-#long ass text post #kill me now #two days in a row is too much #my brain feels fried

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