#fucking. hell. and i have to go again tomorrow too
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Game On. | Touya x Reader Imagine 🌶
LOLOL But imagine Touya fucking up into you bare for the first time...
Oh, you can't!? Well let me do it for you...
He finally has you naked in his bed like he's been dreaming about ever since you joined up with the League of Villains.
You'd knocked on his door and kissed him when he'd answered it - putting a fiery seal on 6 months of mutual pining and flirtation. You'd been so desperate for each other that he'd pulled you into his arms and kicked the door closed behind you. His lips were everywhere - your mouth, your cheeks, your pulse point. He'd unbuttoned your shirt and shed you of your clothes in record time. There was no time to be embarrassed about your nakedness - not when there's so much of Touya you still need to explore.
You pull at his hair, bite at his lips, run your hands down his toned, stapled body...there wasn't time to grab a condom, not when you need each other this badly. You were already so wet and desperate for him, he pressed his thick cock into you so easily. Touya slid into you smoothly like a knife into room temperature butter.
And so now here you are, riding him. Bouncing up and down on his cock like there's no tomorrow, like you won't need to have a serious conversation about what you mean to each other after this is all done.
Nope - no thinking. No planning ahead. Just you riding his emo fucking dick and cooing at him as he throws his head back and lets out the sluttiest little sounds you've ever heard.
His piercings and staples glint in the low light and his large hands move to grip at your hips, his touch almost bruising in intensity. His cock twitches and bullies its way up into your tight pussy as he searches for your G-spot. You gasp when he finds it, and he grins wickedly up at you when he feels you reflexively squeeze around him. He focuses in on repeating the motion again and again. Your tits bounce with the rhythm of his thrusts as he speeds up, grinding into you.
"You wanna cum, babe? You want me to fill up this tight fuckin' pussy?" He speeds up and brings a calloused thumb between the two of your bodies in order to rub at your clit. Heat pools in your lower belly and your cheeks heat up as you feel yourself at the verge of release. Touya grins up at you, wicked white teeth glimmering as he fucks you, enjoying himself.
"Don't worry about cumming too early, sweetheart. I bet I can get at least 3 orgasms out of you tonight." He flashes you a smile of bright white teeth as his cock twitches deep inside of you.
And at his inspired dirty talk, you fall over the edge and into oblivion, creaming on the cock of one of the most wanted villains in Japan. Your breath hitches in the back of your throat as you feel your pussy clench tightly around his dick, pulsing and fluttering in time with the pleasure of your orgasm.
Touya's icy blue eyes bore into your own. As he watches you cum, something in him falters and his eyes grow a fraction wider. It takes you a moment before you register what's going on - your orgasm is milking pleasure out of Touya's cock and the goddamn idiot is also cumming. His dick twitches once, twice, three times as he cums deep inside of you, fucking his ejaculate deeper and deeper into your tiny cunt.
Reading his body language you realize - his orgasm had taken you both by surprise. The goddamn idiot had thought he could holdout longer. But now here he is, filling you up to the brim with his thick baby batter.
"Fuuuuck!" He groans out, eyes fluttering shut as his hips work overtime to draw out his release. "Fuckin' hell." You feel his thick, hot ropes of cum filling you up and making the tail end of your own orgasm even more intense.
You groan as you both finish, crying out his name in such a pretty way that he doesn’t know what to do. His hands grab anything they can find – your hips, your breasts, your neck. He feels so good and he craves closeness – he’d climb into your goddamn skin if he could.
When you both come down from that heaven-sent high, you fall onto his chest and nuzzle into his neck. You're absolutely spent.
“Wow.” Is all you can say as you feel him gently pull out of you, cool air hitting your pussy as cum and arousal gush onto the sheets. He shifts you into a more comfortable position and you shiver as the sweat on your body cools in the AC.
“I’ll last longer next time.” He says, softness creeping into his voice. He sounds...embarrassed? You smile, savoring the rare spark of vulnerability. All sense of angry bravado has been abandoned now that he’s fucked out and breathless.
“You’d better.” You try to challenge him, but you’re too tired and too boneless to hold up your end of banter. “Hold me?”
He wraps his arms around you, strong biceps flexing against your bare skin. You feel the hard metal of staples scratch lightly across your skin as you curve into him. You shift your gaze up to his beautiful face, his mouth quirked into an unsteady smile.
His ice blue eyes search your face as he croaks out: “So…are we actually doing this?”
“Doing what?” You ask shakily, afraid of what his answer might be.
“You know damn well ‘what.’” He scowls, but his expression is softer than usual as he squeezes you to him. You can feel his heartbeat pulsing where your chests lay flush against each other. “I want you too badly. I want you to be mine.”
“Like…in a hookup-fuck-buddy kinda way? Or in an intense, deep devotion relationshipy way?” You ask, suppressing a giggle as Touya scowls at you with those endless icy eyes of his.
“Don’t make me say it.” He says gruffly, rolling his eyes as he looks past your face to stare hard into the cracking ceiling. “The latter. I need you all to myself. Idiot.”
“Touya, you’re so goddamn mushy I can’t stand it.” You say sarcastically, bringing up a hand to trace his sharp jawline. He fuckin leans into the touch. He’s so whipped for you, you practically glow with the realization. “So does that make me your girlfriend?” You tease.
He huffs, throwing you off of him and onto your back. You hit the plush mattress and sink in a bit, surprised at his sudden roughness. Seconds later he’s on top of you, kissing down your neck and sinking his teeth into your shoulder and sucking at the skin there. A bright hickey blooms quickly under his mouth and he smiles at it, content.
“If calling you my girlfriend gives me unrestricted access to this gorgeous fuckin’ body…then, yeah. I’ll let you be my girlfriend, sweetheart.” He whispers harshly, his fingers coming down to rub against your abused clit. You gasp, still over stimulated from your orgasm.
“You’re such a shithead jerk, Touya.” You moan in discomfort as he slips a finger inside of you with a squelch, pushing his cum back inside of you.
“Yeah, but doll I’m you’re ‘shithead jerk’ now. No take backs.”
You can feel him already getting hard again against your thigh, and you spread your legs to give him better access to your pussy.
Oh you are gonna have fun with boyfriend Touya. You gasp as he curls his fingers to hit your g-spot deep inside your still-shaky cunt.
You grin wickedly up at his ceiling.
Game on.
-------------------------
Woohoo a rare little one shot ficlet! Hope you enjoyed!
XOXO, RedRiotUnbreakableHeart ❤️
🔥Link to My Master List 🔥
#my hero academia#mha#boku no hero academia#boku no academia#boku no hero#bnha#mha touya#touya todoroki#touya x reader#bnha touya#dabi#mha dabi#todoroki touya#bnha dabi#anime#dabi x y/n#dabi x reader#dabi x you#touya x y/n#touya x you#mha imagines#bnha scenarios#bnha x reader#mha smut#18+ mdni#mdni#mha fanfic#dabi smut#touya todoroki x reader#dabi todoroki
243 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anyway ive decided. Worst feeling in the world is realising youve inherited your father's temper
#spending a prolonged period of time alone with a man will make you Realise a good couple of things#ty for everyone who wished things are working well regarding the old man and the hospital by the way. big appreciate#anyway in other news; local fictional Fathers enjoyer is reminded of why he in particular enjoys The Trope#fucking. hell. and i have to go again tomorrow too#i dont even know if i wanna complain. no actually i mean if i CAN complain. cause he does so much for me#but DAMN motherfucker could be a bit NICER going about it#anyway 👍no worries. leaving soon and all my problems will surely disappear and i can stand to be alive in my own house again#. i wish i liked him
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Who's idea was it to put the cone on your head for the parade? Was that all you?" "Zach Eisenberg [Director, Executive Operations]—I think is his name—he takes care of us a lot at Amerant Bank Arena. I don't know his exact role with the team but he's just kind-of always around, and helps us out. He's friends with Brooks [Koepka.] I think he helps Brooks when he comes to the games. Anyways he found a pylon or I think I might have told him—I was pretty drunk at the time but I think I told him to go get a py—'if you could find a pylon, find one!' 'Cuz they sprung that speech on me, kind-of, last second, you know, five minutes before I was supposed to go up there. I'm like, 'What the fuck am I gonna say?' So I had him go grab the pylon and I grabbed it on the side of the stage right before I was gonna do my speech. And luckily all the clips are of that, you know, me telling him to go fuck himself... 'cuz the rest of my speech was terrible. There's really nothing to it! And I'm so happy that, you know, all the clips are only of that so!" "Yeah, we didn't know you said anything else! I thought that was the entire speech!" "That's all that matters!" "Exactly, exactly! I got away with it there!"
The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)
i love finding out they basically told ekky he was gonna have to do a whole speech 5 minutes before he was up while hes been drenched from rainwater and alcohol for like the past 6 hours absolutely pissed out of his mind like yeah no wonder his speech basically culminated to THANK YOU SOUTH FLORIDA AND ALSO GIVE IT UP FOR MY D PARTNER WOOOOO yeah that tracks
"But what golf tournament* were you at shortly after that? Somebody was dressed like a cone? Was that Lomberg who was dressed in like a costume? A cone costume?" "He came—Brooks came up to you—" "No, that was his buddy, that was his buddy. He was actually a Sunrise police officer. I actually saw him last night at the Zach Bryan concert! But yeah, no, that's one of his buddies. No, he was completely put to bed the day after. Right? Like he texted me—I personally didn't care, like, how many people at a hockey game are calling me a cone and telling Barkov he's got no hands like it's—you know, that's hockey. That's sports, right? So I didn't give a shit but—yeah, no, it was all in good fun. And then I got a way to get him back! It's perfect!" "But when you did see the first video of him in the box—and I remember watching that, I'm like, 'this motherfucker is rolling esctasy!' His eyes were fuckin' gigantic, he's like, 'Aaargghh.' Like, 'I can't take him, he's calling me a cone! I can't—' But that is kind-of odd that a professional athlete is gonna call you a cone and he's like a fan of yours...it's just—it was really bizarre!" "Goofy!" "Yeah..." "And his eyes were black which, you know..." "What does that mean?" "I just know what that means... and he was fucked up, you know..." "Yeah, yeah! He was definitely fucked up and he agreed that he was fucked up. And he apologised so I didn't care, obviously. And then when I was at that golf event I should've thrown a beer at his backswing or something—at the LIV event when he was actually competing? I should've fucked with him but I couldn't do it... I couldn't—I couldn't find the courage to throw something at him..." "So did he reach out to you like that night? And say, 'Hey, dude... I was just joking, you know...'" "'I took some pills and...'"
*2023 LIV Golf Team Championship (Miami) held from Oct. 20-22 in Doral
[and i suppose more context here lombo and koepka are friends and he even showed up to his cupday when he went golfing in parkland and not to mention that lombo facilitated koepka apologising to ekky so its why the whole cone costume came to be really]
theres a lot more context about this incident and the ensuing storm after it so for archival sakes here are articles about it (x)(x)(x)(x)(x) because its quite a saga but its water under the bridge and there's only so much tabloid-esque coverage thats been reignited after the ekky speech i can take about an athlete who's dumb enough to insult another guy while hes drunk off as his ass in a fucking public setting
but anyways i think its really funny that i said to myself wow thats an oddly petty thing to admit to you know the whole wanting to throw a beer at his backswing ekky... for such a good vibes sweet man who like the only thing youve particularly said about the cone novella is "we'll never be buddies" to which you quickly retracted and then went "holding ill will against somebody and pulling negativity in your body is never a good thing"
and then i remembered who he attended the liv event with and it all made sense
behind every aqua whos being a little mean there is a much worse much more evil looming presence who is encouraging them down this dark path (a gem but especially a june gem)
truly a tale as old as time
#aaron ekblad#florida panthers#aaron ekblad is not a speech giver and hes certainly not a speech giver when hes drunk lmao#bitch just went woo! a lot and publicly loved forsy yeah and i wouldnt have it any other way#also not like any of us noticed the speech was bad we were all either too drunk or halfway to hypothermia we fuckin cheered for anything lo#that being said while i was fucking shivering like a chihuahua it did absolutely warm my heart to see a man so touched by all of us#animalistically chanting ekky at him like thats what its all about fucking barked my little heart at everything he said I DID NOT CAREEE#as a gem i do in fact make all my friends actively worse and go “you're being way too nice about this lmao dw ill be mean about it for you”#love the sasha mention and the ghost of benny haunting us all very nice#meant to post this earlier but i think the more context is added to this the better and it took a while to remember and track it down#anyways i love pretending doral is miami#please dont ask south floridians what is miami and what is not miami that is gonna cause a civil war#also dont ask people outside south florida what is miami because they sure as hell dont know#need to give a presentation on miami versus soflo and why calling it “greater miami/miami metropolitan area” is really fucking stupid#and just serves to confuse the living fuck out of everyone outside this fucking hellhole#im sorry thats my geo rant over i promise i wont bring this up again until like (looks at calendar) tomorrow#also very funny that ekky dated himself by saying “last night at the zach bryan concert” so we know he recorded this on july 23rd#thank you king very nice of you
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
what the hell. you know that post that was going around a little while ago about how some american houses have razor blades in the walls because some medicine cabinets were made with slots for them? at the time I was like "well that sounds fake, sure there are pictures but who the fuck would think that was a good idea?" but I just discovered that apparently I have TWO of those slots in my fucking house
#the one in our bathroom we actually use I did look at at the time#and think huh it kind of looks like a slot#but again I figured surely it was something else because. what?#but tonight out of curiosity I opened the medicine cabinet in the upstairs bathroom#for possibly the first time in my life#and IT'S FUCKING LABELED razor blades. what the hell#has anyone ever USED either of these slots? I guess I'm just going to have to live with that question#actually I guess you probably would have had to specifically cut into the wall too even if the hole is there in the cabinet#so possibly my walls don't have that. I'll look at that tomorrow or ask my dad or something. still. huh.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
FRUIT LORE! FRUIT LORE! FRUIT LORE! FRUIT LORE! FRUIT LORE! FRUIT LORE! FRUIT LORE!
#zoro once again sacrificing himself to fight.....#komachijo cant die.... enough people with names starting with a k have died... (kiku kin and kanjuro) maybe its a curse....#who's who was a marine.... WHAT IS THAT cp9 too..... OHHHHH 13 YEARS AGO SHANKS STOLE THE FRUIT!!!! FROM THE GOVERNMENT!!!!!#SHANKS LORE SHANKS LORE!!!! I CANT WATCH ANOTHER EPISODE TODAY FUCK!!!! I WILL GO INSANE TONIGHT AND GET ANSWERS TOMORROW I GUESS#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1039#nami promoted zeus aldjsksjsk#the info he stole?? who?? and who is dead?? oh whos who.... he can die i guess he already told jinbe#the heart pirates saying luffy doesn't have a pulse and a smash cut to jinbe saying he is alive 😭😭#jinbe and luffy retrospective.... i love them so much.... best thing to come out of marineford.... .#jinbe saying he doesn't want to speak with him ajdkajsk slay......#nika mention.... omg.... the sun pirates of course... I AM TELLING YOU!!! NIKA IS URANUS THE THIRD ANCESTRAL WEAPON AND THE THREE OF THEM#WILL BRING THE GYOJIN TO THE SURFACE (TO THE SUN!!) <- me when i connect two dots#jinbe got tired of the racism. BEAT HIS ASS!!! BREAK HIS NECK!!! LETSGOOO!!!!#he got him by the tail.... is the secret technique a gyojin haki special????#episode 1040#yamato furry??!?!?!? damn ace really got the whole deal jesus.#informed consent akdhaka here we dont do medical malpractice lmao is he scared of needles???? lmaooo#this sounds like a me in my gf's ear audio akdhaksjsk#now just noticed that the franky shogun robot has chicken legs just like franky 😭😭#the fucking helicopter tryceratops..... what the hell..... and what is what sword.....#luffy dead on his pirate doctor friend's boat but there is no doctor on board akdhaksk#episode 1041
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
#grief sucks grief sucks grief sucks#i thought i’d never move on from her death and i hate the fact that in some ways i have#i hate the fact that i can wake up each day and go about my life and almost forget that she’s gone#i hate that it takes something like her birthday to bring up all the feelings of mourning again#because honestly? at least when i lived with the grief every day i was used to it being there#but now it’s something i feel occasionally and it hurts so much more because every time the grief comes back i feel her dying all over again#all week i’ve been absolutely miserable before i even realized how soon tomorrow was#and i’ve been thinking of her more too. literally was thinking i should learn how to extreme coupon the way she did bc she used to bring me#it just sucks she shouldn’t have died. not like that.#she was too young and it all happened so fast and just#she should be able to celebrate her 55th birthday with us#but she didn’t even make it to 50. what the hell man#i hate this i hate grief i hate that i have to miss her at all#i should be able to call her and text her and she would’ve helped me so much with the phase of life i’m in now#because sometimes she was mean and she was so stubborn but she others first and loved us more than anything#i can’t believe she’s been gone six years and i can’t believe i’ve celebrated six of her birthdays without her#what the actual fuck
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have an interview tmr for a possible teaching assistant job. but I realllyyyy really don't want to fucking go
#the interviewer is rly nice ive spoken to him already its not like nerves or anything#I dont rly wanna go into teaching but I do have experience so I'm getting interest from recruiters.. I need a job and the pay is alright#the main thing is that background checks are so comprehensive + they want 3 references and I. dont have that many lmao#but its non negotiable cuz anything involving kids or vulnerable ppl has rly high standards. understandably ofc#so I need to email a couple ppl from my degree to ask if they would be willing to give me a ref but I REAAAALLLLY dont want tooooo#bc I fucking dropped out of my masters this year and didnt tell my tutor beforehand. so its just rly fucking awkward to ask NOW#like I feel kinda physically sick just trying to draft this email theres smth rly humiliating abt it. man im gonna cry again#but I have to do it bc this interview is tomorrow and I need to submit the form w references before then ive been putting it off#ugdhfhcbncjhfjfbfbfh. and even if my tutor is cool w it I still only have 2 refs so I need to find a third and just. mannn#i have a massive adhd block w filling out forms too fucking hate this shit what if I just cancelled the interview ahahahahahahhha#its like a physical fucking pressure preventing me doing anything abt it i hope i get hit by a bus so its not my problem anymore whatever#.vent#fucking hell. whatever im gonna go make lunch
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I finished the stripe B)
#well. like.#I actually did like half an hour ago and now I’ve spent the past half hour winding the next yarn colour into a ball#you see the blanket has a previous incarnation which was shit and bad#and I decided not to put myself through the hell of unwinding it All At Once so now instead im doing it colour by colour#so before i move on from one stripe to the next I have to first wind the next stripe into a ball#and the old blanket is so badly made that it takes a really long time because the yarn is like. all tangled up in itself#ALSO I FUCKED UP MY FINGER SO BAD MAN#I won’t go into detail because thinking about it has my anxiety acting up and I know I’m not the only person with Issues on here#*into detail about The Causing Of The Injury. i am in fact going into detail about the following idiocy and annoyingness that it entails#but cw/tw for like. I’m talking about a minor injury in the form of a small cut/scratch#but basically i fucked around and found out a bit too hard earlier today and now i have like a. shallow cut. scratch. whatever running along#my left middle finger. (also because this is tumblr I will add please note it was not on purpose I was genuinely just being stupid as hell.)#it is relevant that it is specifically my left middle finger. why you may ask? well. i am right handed. so i hold my crochet hook in my#right hand. and as a consequence my yarn in my left. and my yarn runs between. you guessed it. my middle and index fingers. meaning it runs#right above my middle finger knuckle. which. you guessed it. is where my little scratch cut is. and I was AGAIN an idiot so I was not#wearing a bandage. (thought it was fine because it had already kinda scabbed over.) and then i get off my what. 2? 3? hours of crochet and#go to brush my teeth and im like oh wow why is that all irritated. and then im like. OHHHH FUCK I HAD SCRATCHY WOOL YARN RUNNING OVER IT.#so yeah I am adding unscented soap And saline to my shopping list for tomorrow !#and praying to every god on earth and beyond it doesnt get infected#(it probably wont like. ive had cat scratches that were realistically probably worse than this. plus I’m taking vitamin gummies that are#specifically immune system boosting since like a week back because I got tired of getting a bunch of colds so hopefully they will also help#my nice little white blood cells fight off any bacteria here :) )
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
irl-related vitriol in tags, beware
#i have literally put up with so much cg bullshit in the last few months#god forbid i a vet and senior member get any respect#the captains are awful just awful really terrible#SO CONDESCENDING#legit unless i specifically am doing something deeply wrong then keep out of my fucking business#equipment manager making everyone sit down to learn how to tape a fucking flag#HELLO? BITCH YOUR FLAG IS CLANKY AND THE EXAMPLE YOU’RE USING HAS A GAP BETWEEN SILK AND POLE#fucking hell i’m actually about to ally with the pariah of the team and her new frosh friend#my reputation will go down the shitter but i’ll never lie to a newbie again#this sport is such a joke bc why do we even pretend that this team is a family#like hey coach. it’s not like i’m a subordinate to you or the captains or anything. but yeah you’re like my aunt omg 🥺#fucking get real#cg has ruined my life and it’s degenerated especially this year#i��m not getting enough sleep and i’m swearing too much and i get antsy and literally bite myself#the newbies are such dopes i feel bad for even trying to instill rules in them bc i’m no different from the bitch captains#always snapping snapping snapping at us for not being EARLY to the call time TWENTY FIVE MINUTES EARLIER than the band’s#i don’t even have a friend anymore she’s just My Captain who i have to Obey and Respect#anyway fuck co-captain specifically#whatever. i have work tomorrow#i should just sleep and die and defame the team to everyone who lends me an ear#god i hope my coach explodes the next time she sits us down for a twenty minute spiel about ‘expectations’#bc expect me to quit or be outwardly miserable all year long <333#tw rant#tw vent
1 note
·
View note
Text
hmmm having. a time <3
#everything just kind of yeah.#Ive had a long as hell day.#I literally didnt get home until 9 30#and I didnt get to relax at all bc I had so much gd homework.#I am doing my last thing rn but fuck dude!!!!!#I also am like...its that time of the month so I am feeling bad and gross and sad#and I dont think my scholastic portfolio won anything and just :(#I put a lot of work into it. and I really thought I would win SOMETHING. even an honorable mention would have been fantastic#this has taken me down abt 5 pegs abt my confidence in my skills. yayyy#idk I am just having a ROUGH night. I am going thru it peace and love#I need to do my hw so I can go to bed I just cant#and tomorrow is going to be bad too. AUGH!!!!!#I cant ever catch a break dear lord#I have been feeling so good and confident recently ofc I had to get fucking knocked down like this!!!! ofc!!!#never going to try anything again ever /hj#ok one more thing I prommy#I think I royally fucked up a project......aughgggghhhhhh#ben talks#personal#I will probably delete tomorrow I am just having the worst time atm#and I needed to get it off my chest <333
1 note
·
View note
Text
Okay I have a story.
So my birthday is this Sunday (May 26th). My mom ordered some presents for me but one of them (an Etsy purchase) was seemingly stuck in transit and might not make it on time. I tell my mom all good, no worries. She gets in contact with the seller. After a long delay in response they get back with "Right we'll fix it!" It ships, tracking label and everything, good to go! ETA May 22nd (yesterday.)
During the work day I check the tracking and it says it's been delivered in/at mailbox! I double check with my mom "hey, is it mailbox size?" because if not, I don't want it sitting at the front door where anyone walking by could snag it.
She says "it's definitely NOT mailbox size." Okay. I text my neighbors in the building "Anyone seen a package delivered? It's a birthday gift from my mom and I wanna make sure it gets inside!" Success! Floor 2 David (not to be confused with Floor 1 David) had brought it inside. Inform my mom. All good!
I stop by home briefly around 4pm, because yesterday was hot-hot and I just installed my window A/C that morning in the living room, and according to my cat cam my stupid cat hasn't spent a single second in the climate controlled living room and is, instead, voluntarily baking herself elsewhere so I'm like "great" and hop on my bike to go home (10 minute ride) to check on her.
I get in the building door. Patches is crying from the top floor because she heard me. I maneuver my bike in the front hall. The ugliest fucking 6-foot-tall cat tree(?)/totem(?)/statue(?) I've seen in my entire life is just. Standing there.
My first thought is "What the fuck is that." My second thought is "Oh fuck that is for me." I look around at the floor in case there's perhaps anything else that might, in fact, be the gift.
No. Me and Cat Pole.
It's taller than me. I turn it around to face me and its face is painted and this is, in fact, uglier than it looked from the back.
Um.
Patches is crying. So I just haul it up to my level. MAYBE it was supposed to come with twine that I wrap around it (and hide its face from the world) for Patches to scratch. Maybe this is a prank. Maybe this is an inside joke, because when my mom moved into her current house the neighborhood gifted her some ugly-as-hell totem that apparently, by tradition, each newest-comer to the neighborhood is required to have and display in their window so maybe this is a very good riff on that.
Patches rubs against it. She's not afraid of this horrid facsimile of her kind.
Great.
Meanwhile SHE'S fine and the condo is a little toasty but totally liveable so I'm like "Good, cool, you're not baking. You're having a good time. Enjoy your new sister, I guess, I'll see you later."
I go back to work because this is a problem for later me.
After work, after my run, after whatever, I get home and it's like 8:00pm and Patches is so happy to see me and the totem pole is still just. There.
I text my friends like "so a bday gift is here from my mom and it's the Biggest Ugliest cat pole I've seen in my life. Is this a bit? Did my mom go 'that's so ugly haha! send!' Maybe she genuinely found it cute. How do I navigate this." My friend Sarah has the good advice to maybe text my mom neutrally like "Got the cat pole!" and feel the waters whether my mom is like "Isn't it ugly? 😂" or "Hope Patches likes it! 🥰"
My mom goes to bed early so I don't do any of that yet. Problem for tomorrow me.
This morning, Patches wakes me up for breakfast. I get her situated and I'm staring at the fucking Cat Pole again. I wonder if my Mom's been wondering all night what I thought of it.
I take a picture. I text her.
Okay.
I get on call with my mom. I ask for clarity that the ungodly horrid thing is NOT my birthday gift and is in fact a mix-up from the seller who sent me this instead of my actual gift. She's wheezing between words. She thinks I'm being too charitable for the amount of Absolute Fucking Ugly this is. I have to gently talk her out of using the word "monstrosity" while messaging the seller asking what the hell happened here.
I tell her I need to apologize for harming her dignity with Floor 2 David, who thinks this fucking thing is my mom's idea of a great birthday gift for her to-be-28-year-old daughter.
My heart goes out to the poor soul who did actually order this cat totem and is lacking it on this lovely day.
23K notes
·
View notes
Text
Only slept 4-5 hours again... god I hate when I get stuck in this bullshit.. 😮💨
#always happens several days in a row like this.#and once again i have to sit here and decide if i want to feel like shit the whole day and just wait for the meltdown from hell#or if i want to drink an energy drink and increase the risk of this happening tomorrow again 🥲#but then having less of a chance i just crash and burn. and give myself a chance to actually do ANYTHING today.#not necessarily productive mind you... but like... at least something fun. not just lay in bed and feel tired and miserable all day.#i don't think anybody blames me for not really being too keen on the idea of just laying in bed feeling like shit all day.#and just knowing that sooner or later everything will be too much and i will just lose control and be in so much pain 🙃#meltdowns are fucking painful ok. both physically and mentally. and it leaves me like a fucking husk for days after.#fuck it I'm going for the energy drink. to hell with it all.#ryder speaking
0 notes
Text
just had to yell at two kids because they had the audacity to come dump the water i’ve been keeping out for the stray cats (which i go to great lengths to keep cold/cool throughout the day bc of the severe heat) & then proceed to try and throw the container up onto the roof over our door,, they didn’t know i was looking out the peephole as soon as i heard kids outside the door, because i happened to be in the kitchen at the time. yeah i don’t fucking think so. little shits. didn’t even apologize or anything, just went from brief shock to running off, probably to cry to their parent about the mean lady wahh. yeah good i wish their parent or whomeever would come knocking on my door to ‘confront’ me, because i sure as fuck have a lot to say to them
#just have to get this out before i explode i can’t wait till my therapy session tomorrow#rant#vent#personal#i wasn’t actually mean but i was pissed and told them to stop#but my anger is more towards the parents/guardians because they obviously don’t keep an eye on their children#and seem to not have taught them how to behave#and my mom keeps talking about wanting to start a garden in the little ‘yard’ beside our front door like ????#itll be destroyed i just know it#picked or trampled#the kids up here have no decency#hell neither do most the adults#i’m just so fucking irritated and i hate confrontation & have major anxiety so im like shaking#but i couldn’t do/say nothing#because i am one of the few people up here that seems to care about any of the countless strays#im literally just trying to help them survive the heatwave#i dont need stupid fucking kids making it more difficult#there’s been more than a few times since i started putting water out that th#(my cat puddin just swatted my phone screen so idk where the tag i was in the middle of typing ended 🫠)#that*? the water had been spilled onto the ground#i thought cats had been doing it but yeah starting to think it was kids fucking around#if it happens again i’m bringing it to the landlady idgaf#there’s cameras they can check too so#bro i just hate kids#i hate shitty parents#i hate bad fucking neighbors#i’m just tired of it all#i have enough shit i’m dealing with in my personal life i don’t need shit like this added on top!!!!#IM ALREADY AT THE FUCKING LIMIT#okay i think i need to go pop a xanax and find a funny comfort video ✌️
0 notes
Text
My parents managed to lose 3 of my shirts and the covering for my tablet’s keyboard in the two days we’ve been in this fucking hotel #WELOVEIT
#i can’t even express any open annoyance either bc they’ll just fucking yell at me again#i need to get my own room again so badly like I’m about to start eating drywall#diary.txt#vent tag#WE HAVE TO GO ON A 3-7 HOUR FLIGHT TOMORROW TOO someone save me from this hell like I’m begging
0 notes
Text
hsr story so good i accidentally stayed up till 2am finishing it
#clai speaks#i'm not gonna talk too much about it bc uh again. 2am and i got work tomorrow. but oh my God#a couple spoilers under here#sunday :( i dont have the words for him right now#they said in the notice that a person with visitor verification would leave the express Temporarily#i dont call misha actually turning out to be a dead man TEMPORARY#that kid was a silly goofy four star who attacks with a mop and suitcases and is tripping over a cat in his splash. what the fuck#i am also absolutely ASTOUNDED that out of ANY character to be glitched and not play any of their voicelines#it was ARGENTI. my FAVORITE and the ONE PERSON I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING THE MOST#like that felt targeted almost HJDBJFBF#is that how argenti is going to be from now on. he appears does something kinda important but not too major and then he dips again?#like wdym he saved aventurine. How. aven was in the depths of hell#lastly. won my 50/50 on robin at 40 pity :) the boothill dream LIVES
1 note
·
View note
Text
succeeding at evacuating the iron throne prison with nearly all prisoners after like a thirty minute session but losing ravengard so you quit without saving so you have to redo it tomorrow and save your boyfriend's dad this time. the things i do for love and wyll ravengard
#i told him to pick ending his pact over his dad i HAVE to make it up to him#i can't just go oh well! win some lose some! not on a treeboy run#treeboy will run himself ragged in the time loop hell to save his bf's dad and so i will too. i guess. fuck#just have to put Best Girl on the duke-saving prong and go nuts with healing spells#to be fair it's less insane than redoing the vamp lord fight so i can pick 'i'm proud of you' dialogue over 'how do you feel'#in response to. you know. all of that business#i just wanted vamp boy to feel higher than medium towards treeboy is that so insane 😭 why won't he like my boy#anyway i am officially back at work tomorrow which means i have to get up early again which means. i need to be asleep now.#i would so much rather spend another 3 hours on this game but needs must#aster chat
0 notes