#fucking hell just when i thought my social skills were developing

[idontknowwhyimhere102]

Help the other emos from the grade below me are here on tumblr and I don't what do since I had like 60 heart attacks the past couple of days trying to figure out if they actually found my account. I think they're really cool and my friend keeps trying to make me talk to them. But I'll probably start panicking (at the disco) if I even go within a 10 feet radius of them

[sadhornydemons]

The Other Possible Stepfather and Daughter

Because it may be awhile until we see Blitz and Via interacting, I wonder what (if any) relationship Loona and Stolas could develop, living under the same roof, working at the same job and basically being two of the most closest individuals in Blitz's life currently.

I've seen some harsh takes, some claiming that Stolas simply thought of Loona as Blitz's pet, not knowing she was his daughter until the hug moment in Mastermind, ect, ect.

The current storyline hasn't given us many clues or interactions, but here's what I've gathered and some of my own thoughts:

The first among the few times these two shared the screen was in Truth Seekers were they don't really interact but Loona manages to record Stolas in his full demon form as he possesses and terrorizes their captors.

She's among the group as Stolas scolds them for getting caught, but Blitz, Moxxie and Millie seemed to receive most of his focus for these few seconds.

Grimoire in hand, Loona leaves the portal before Stolas can pick up Blitz to have an exchange of words and tongues.

Seeing Stars is when Loona shines as the only one with the nose and social media skills to locate Stolas' runaway daughter. (Nevermind that she was the one who allowed Octavia to break in and steal the Grimoire, because Blitz is certainly not going to tell Stolas this.)

And despite being a low ranking demon by Hell's standards, she's the only one besides Stolas who can take on a human disguise.

(not that anyone comments on this in universe)

So yeah, until the group is separated, they share a few scenes, but no dialogue.

Later when Loona does finds Via, she defends Stolas a little, while also reflecting on her own relationship with Blitz.

"You know, your dad's really worried about you."

"..try to cut your dad some slack."

That said, Loona still decided her own father needed a nice kick to the groan to make things right upon seeing him next, something which seems to freaks Stolas out a bit:

But Loona seems to brighten upon seeing seeing Via, whom she recently bonded with, making peace with her dad.

In Western Energy, Stolas' kidnapping takes place the same time as Loona's hellbies shot appointment, which took Blitz 5 years to book. During their phone call, Blitz explains this, to which Stolas responses:

"Oh, ha, ha. Well, I do agree that is very important…But, I-" Before Striker takes his phone away.

Which, while not the best reaction, is pretty short to base a lot of opinions about. Does Stolas know what a hellbies shot is? I'd say definitely not. Does Stolas believe he's in real danger at this point? Seemingly not, since he utters "Oh, shit. Am I in danger right now?" in realization after Striker crushes his phone.

Full Moon opens with Loona waking up to her father making breakfast while singing about his "Nice arrangement," situationship with Stolas,

But upon hearing at work that Stolas been giving Blitz excuses to not see him, she brings up the idea that Stolas is getting bored of him.

Blitzo: "Whaaaat?"

Loona: "Yeah, man. If someone wants to see you less and less, big red flag. If they give you chances to ditch, they probably want out themselves. Just wanna be more passive aggressive about it. Dicks."

Later in the episode, Loona is seen with Moxxie and Millie, following Blitz, in which they encounter and fight the members of C.H.E.R.U.B.

Loona: "Find ya? We were already following our dumbass boss to make sure he doesn't fuck up and lose our meal ticket."

Unfortunately the falling out of that night leads to Blitz abandoning his job duties and spending all the company's money on frivolous purchases including 300 taxidermy owls that he makes Loona burn.

Blitz eventually is able to recover emotionally, but his involvement with the grimoire is used to bring him to trial, sentencing him to death until Stolas intercepts,

taking the blame and losing his power, title and home as a result.

Upon hearing that Stolas needed a place to live, Blitz walks him back to his and Loona's apartment.

Blitz is greeted with cheers from the crowd, while they throw things at Stolas. Loona, rather wisely, tries to step away from the two, less she gets pelted with anything herself.

But when they are back home, she takes the time to embrace the father she nearly lost:

"Hey, um. I'm so glad you're okay."

"I love you, Dad."

Already in a depressed state, Stolas is further reminded that he is separated from his own daughter and appears to shut down physically and mentally, resulting in Blitz helping him clean off in the bath. During that, he hears a knock.

Unprompted, Loona gives Blitz two pieces of her own clothes so that Stolas has something to change into, apart from his old stained royal attire. Stolas gets a lot of use out of this outfit until Blitz attempts to purchase him more (which instead turns into a theft).

Weeks pass, and when Sinsmas comes, Blitz brings Stolas into the office with him and Loona, with the intention of Stolas helping or learning Loona's job.

Stolas is none too pleased about going to work, but gives a nervous wave to the room when Blitz introduces him and a second wave to Loona when Blitz asks her to teach Stolas how to "secretate".

Loona: *sighs* "It's literally this: Ring, ring. 'Hello? I.M.P. Yeah, we can kill that asshole. Wanna schedule an appointment? Thursday cool? See you then, dipshit.' Click. It's easy as sin."

However, after being placed at the desk, Stolas manages to have a breakdown upon realizing that he no longer has any of his personal wealth. An action that doesn't go over well with his new coworkers, all whom are all among the lower or middle class money bracket:

After an aborted mission, the group return to find Stolas missing and discover he went back to his mansion in an attempt to see his daughter. However, in the process, he is captured by Andrealphus. Blitz instructs the group to separate before fighting and Loona makes the first attempt to free Stolas:

Andrealphus is ultimately defeated, by Stolas is left devastated by Octavia informing him that she no longer wants to see him.

Blitz, Loona and Stolas return home, where Loona announces plans for the rest of the holiday.

Loona: "Whew. That was intense. I'm gonna see if my friends can still come tonight. I need some drinks after what happened today."

Despite being preoccupied with Stolas once again shutting down, Blitz makes sure to give Loona the okay. Seemingly, he spends the rest of the evening with Stolas until the party starts. But someone does gradually put Sinsmas decorations throughout the apartment.

And we've reached our end.

So, Loona and Stolas. Not many interactions, but I don't see any bad blood between these two.

Loona appears to have some respect that Stolas tries to be a good father. And although Stolas' relationship with her own adopted father started out in a very messy transactional manner, their disastrous fallout following the Full Moon episode, and fomer's actions in Mastermind might have clued her in that from Blitz's perspective, Stolas had become more than the company's "meal ticket".

Loaning out her own clothes at the end of Mastermind, speaks volumes, even for someone like Loona who doesn't hesitate to speak her mind. Her father suddenly brings his complicated, homeless ex home to live with them, but Loona shows her support.

She keeps her space, living her own life, but still supports her father as he begins something new in his own.

Stolas seems nervous around Loona. I think, despite them living together, Loona may spend the majority of the time in her room, while Blitz is constantly keeping watch over Stolas. Blitz's affection for Loona as his daughter is quite obvious. Stolas was even witness to it as each ran to their daughters at the end of Seeing Stars, so I doubt he would be unaware of how important Loona is to Blitz. I think that that may be where some of the nervousness, which wasn't present in their early scenes, comes from.

Time will tell if these two will have reason to interact or work together in the coming seasons. Or if Loona's brief bonding with Stolas' daughter will come up again.

[andreabandrea]

i think all the time about how hard it is to be a kid even in the best case scenarios. like yeah as a kid you have very few responsibilities and youre innocent etc but i think the thing is that adults (at least in the USA) largely do not consider you to be a human.

i remember when i was a kid, my parents were nice to me and supportive and so on-- i didnt have a bad childhood. but there were times where my dad would just take things from me, or interrupt me on the computer/tv, not because i had exceeded screen time or anything but just because "im the dad and im more important so i can do what i want". i remember how powerless i felt when adults would shout at me, especially if it was over something i didnt understand and/or hadnt been taught.

i remember adults laughing in my face sometimes when i was crying or upset, and i think about this when i see those 'toddler/kid freakout' tiktok videos mocking a child's reaction, even if it is for something "stupid" like they dropped their candy or whatever.

even the most well-meaning adults will often write off your pain and negative emotions as 'overreactions', and this goes triple if youre neurodivergent. i had pneumonia as a child and my doctor thought i was just being dramatic.

your input on things is largely seen as worthless. if your parents want to travel the country in a van, but you want to go to school and have friends and have your own bedroom, they'll just pack you up and take you in that van because you're the child and you're their property. i think about this when i see those 'van life' families, and i think about this as i'm reading the Wavewalker book about the girl who was forced to live on her parents' boat with little to no schooling for 10 years.

if your parents spank you and hit you, largely thats seen as their "choice" as parents, no matter how many studies tell them it traumatizes children. and youre dependent on the adults around you and if those adults suck, or if youre in a bad situation, you have very little to no ability to change that and you just have to endure.

and thats what drives me insane about desantis is that we see more and more rhetoric like "the rights of parents" and "protecting children" but these kids are being told that they do not have rights. its as if people truly believe parents deserve to know everything, even if the child doesnt feel safe telling them. people think parents deserve to control their kids' every choice and every move. but when it comes to protecting kids from gun violence and protecting gay/trans kids and especially kids of color, republicans could not give less of a shit. hell, even the grand majority of democrats barely care.

yes, i get it. parenting is unimaginably hard. the nuclear family is unsustainable especially in today's double-income-not-even-making-rent economy. the world is fucked up. sometimes kids are shitty and it might hurt you as an adult. but kids are not evil, and kids are not adults who are acting with fully developed brains and social skills and empathy and so on and its important to keep that in mind.

on the chance that anyone wants to reply with "well i hate kids :/" look. you dont have to be a parent. but at least be kind to children in your life. let the kid in the park ramble to you about skibidi toilet or fucking whatever. you do owe people kindness, especially children

[scarletfire03]

when I first got into half life I was still very much a furry. so here have fur-life doodles Also yes this AU started out as a furry AU.

gina and gordon are both hyenas but gina is a striped hyena

vvv some lore and explanations for shit vvv

you may notice I didn't choose obvious animals for some characters. most people would probably make adrian a shepherd dog of some sort since his last name is literally shephard. I don't like using domesticated animals for furry designs tho. its too easy, its overused and kind of a weird concept if you think about it. how the hell were these guys domesticated. instead, I like to go for less popular choices and more uncommon animals. I chose a close relative of sheep for adrians design because i think its a bit ironic that the shephard is a sheep. also they have cool color patterns which I really like :D

as for gordon being a hyena, this was originally just a random idea I had. just tried choosing a cool animal. but when I developed this idea I realized that I could do a lot more with this. hyenas are seen as scavengers that aren't very strong and they are also seen as not very intelligent cough cough the lion king cough cough this is completely false. spotted hyenas are highly intelligent and social creatures and they take down their own food for the most part. they are strong. have you seen their jaws?? they are capable of breaking bones with their bite. I wouldn't dare to mess with one. the more I thought about this the more I felt that it was very fitting for the guy that is considered a goofy idiot by most of his coworkers (every fucking scientist at black mesa seems to treat him like hes just an intern and like he has 0 skill) to be a hyena. hes completely misjudged by everyone around him. and during the resonance cascade he showed the world that everyone was wrong about him. at the same time, his actions might've strengthened those stereotypes in some people that saw him. I mean, he kind of did turn into a killing machine back there. even if he was saving my life I would be wary of him. you just cant trust someone that kills without hesitation. the resistance might also be more divided in their opinion about him (something I'm still keeping for my AU because the canon resistance is boring as fuck sorry) and not everyone thinks he is the savior of mankind.

also like, LOOK AT HOW SPOOKY THAT LOOKS

gina is also a hyena because during development she was literally just female gordon. like, she was supposed to be the female player choice. to keep that theme at least somewhat i made her a hyena aswell. to make her design more unique i made her a striped hyena though.

colette is a lynx (a siberian lynx in the doodle but I later decided on her being an iberian lynx instead)

alyx and barney don't have that much story behind their designs aside from me wanting to have an avian character and not just a bunch of mammals.

eli is also a cheetah obviously and i was thinking of making kleiner something like a slow loris cause they look funky and he is very funky

also on a side note: gordon furreemans head looking like a radiation symbol was an accident at first because i was trying to draw him more cartoony and then I noticed this and now he has a radiation symbol for a head. also that doodle is where my current angular lookin style originated.

[realfinemood]

Template by arcandoria / Icons bundle from gaylockpick

Finally finished the game recently after almost 200 hours playing my angry little barbarian fighter and have so many thoughts to put down before I start the next in my long list of planned Tavs. Because this game has eaten my brain. I'm probably also going to make a post on her different companions relationships later. Brecca has lived in my brain 6+ years from D&D so on the off chance anyone else is interested, have a lot of babbling about this AU version of her!

(Spoilers including the end of the game!)

Backstory: Brecca grew up in her mother's tavern in a halfling village, where most people were happy and carefree and the biggest worries were that you weren't up to date on the latest gossip. As a kid with anger issues and not the greatest social skills, Brecca very much didn't fit in with that. The only talent she had to speak of was fighting, whether just for the hell of it or to protect her only real friend in the village, a budding con artist (who the tiefling kids all remind her of).

When a man came into the village one day with promises to make that skill useful, she left with him, ending up in a barbarian tribe of sorts, where she was taught to fight beyond scrapping and bar fights. She didn't ask many questions about who exactly they were fighting, enjoying finally having something she was good at doing. It wasn't until a raid where the target was her own village that she realized who exactly she'd joined up with, and went into a frenzied rage, killing her party and any of the others she could find.

In d&d she ran after that and spent a few months isolating herself, doing odd jobs occasionally but mostly just developing a massive guilt complex. In bg3, the very first place she ventured into resulted in being abducted and tadpoled. Yay distraction!

Personality: Brecca is trying to figure out how to be a Good Person in the aftermath of stumbling into being a not so great one. In theory, that would be trying to help everyone and keep her rage in check. In reality, it's a lot of attempting the most peaceful solution and then murdering a lot when that inevitably falls through. She's not the smartest and definitely not the best at talking or reading people, made worse by the fact that she knows she's not and therefore doesn't trust her own judgement.

Protecting her friends, protecting children, and murdering the fuck out of anyone enslaving people are the things she's definitely figured out as North on her moral compass. The rest are more a moral "rough notes copied off the people she values."

(It's also why she spends the entirety of act 3 pissed as fuck and determined as hell to help Lae'zel free Orpheus. Does anything she's done matter if the reason she can do it is that someone is chained up and having their power used to protect her?)

She spends a good two acts trying to be a hero like Wyll. In the end she settles for trying to do her best, protecting the people she loves, and letting other people be the self sacrificing hero.

Fighting: Brecca is surrounded by tall people and it's very inconvenient that they can get places faster. She has solved this problem in three ways. 1) Fling self, 2) fling weapon, and finally 3) fling weapon and teleport self with whatever the weapon hits. Bonus points if the weapon is twice her size. Rather appropriately, by the time they fought Cazador she had enough combined movement to get across the whole platform and free Astarion in one turn. And then everything else in the scene also went super great don't worry about it.

Party: Brecca has absolutely no fucking clue how she got appointed leader. Her skill set beyond "get angry and hit things" is occasionally threaten people into submission. Half the time she finds the end of quests before realizing there's a beginning. Two of her three favorite people are the murder hobos and her knowledge of magic and gods is non-existent. Wyll is right there guys. Please make better choices.

Anyways.

Astarion is the permanent party member and was even before she caught feelings.

In act 1, the party shuffled around more, with Gale taking a field trip to the creche and Karlach taking out a goblin camp. But the main group was definitely Astarion, Wyll, and Lae'zel. In act 2, the party was almost exclusively Astarion, Wyll, and Shadowheart. In act 3, Lae'zel reclaimed her spot and Wyll took turns with Shadowheart. If it wasn't clear, even with the multiclassing happening, the party theme is a lot of "Hit things really hard a whole lot before they have a chance to fight back. Also magic I guess, that's what scrolls are for right?"

Ending: Brecca made good on her promise to Lae'zel and freed Orpheus, somehow to the surprise of the Emperor despite being very clear about her plan to do so and how much she did not trust the Emperor and hated what he was doing. However, she absolutely did not spend all that time fighting to not become a mindflayer only to voluntarily become one at the last moment and resigned herself to Lae'zel hating her for letting Orpheus play martyr instead. Lae'zel didn't seem to blame her in the end - while Brecca and Astarion got Orpheus to the brain, Lae'zel took care of killing the Emperor for her (while Shadowheart kept everything else from killing her in the meantime).

Post-adventure, Brecca plans on helping Astarion with their 7000 new spawn children in the Underdark, while trying to find a way to let him walk in the sun again. (That, and shoving Dammon at her new gnome friends so that they can put the pieces they already have together to make Karlach a new heart.) Eventually she might actually make her way back home to her mom and best friend, who, true to voice line, will absolutely never believe any of this.

[1010ninetynine]

venti and lyney are very similar characters. i'm going to talk about sales tmrw but today. i'm going to talk about them in terms of character.

Now obviously they're different people. Venti's arguably the more interesting of the two in terms of lore (not story, i mean like celestia lore) - but people will probably like Lyney more, not just because he's a main dps and a support, and Venti's lost his CC king title, but because he's fontainian. He's connected to a better archon quest and his penchant for the traveler is made very clear from the word go. It would have felt like heaven to me if I'd liked lyney more (and I'll get into my experience with him).

I want to first talk about Venti and what I think defines his character. For me, it's that sense of just wanting to be some guy. Venti's never wanted to be this Anemo Archon of The Seven, and it doesn't show in any place best than when he gave his little speech to us as the Anemo Archon and it was...him telling us to get to know teyvat, rather than speedrun it, a value he cares deeply about, and the immediately after went back to silly goofball. It's what I love about him. He's wise, because thousands of years have left him with a lot of time for thought, but he doesn't seek to be this imposing figure. He seeks to be someone who's not revered, but respected. Like, if someone who saw his heroism personally was like 'you're pretty cool you drunkard' i think that's the ideal scenario for him.

I mean hell, one of his lines when he opens a chest is "Thank Barbatos...wait a minute-" so like. He's really gunning for it.

Compare that to his polar opposite, Zhongli, who liked leading and all but just got tired of it. He didn't actually tire of being revered, he doesn't try to mingle with people as an equal, he's just tired of taking care of every problem Liyue deals with. He still wants to be their dad archon, just a retired one.

Lyney, on the other hand, I think is defined by seeking validation, or more accurately, trying to get paid, whether that be in adoration which means more people coming to his show, or in just straight up mora. So naturally, he has reasons to pretend to be someone he's not, in comparison to Venti, who is naturally charming and sociable, but often has to force himself to be because grief took a bit of a toll.

Call it intuition but i was suspicious of Lyney's socialness being a bit fake when he said that things would be quiet if he and lynette were alone on an aquabus. I, for one, know something. If you are genuinely close to your sibling (as Lyney is to Lynette, by all counts), and as social as you seem, then hanging out with your sibling is a time of great joy. My sister is social, and with me, becomes even more so. I'm not very social, but even so, my sister makes me want to talk.

then he came out and his voiceline literally said "yeah im not actually this social naturally" and i was like FUCKING KNEW IT YOU LIL MAGIC MAN

*ahem* anyway point is he's developed a skill of being charming to survive and also is very pretty and by all counts, I should have fucking adored him.

but here's why i didn't - the ayaka and ei effect

*dramatic pause*

Now, one thing I have very little patience for in gacha games is being explicitly "pandered" to (except when I'm deep into them, like I was with Arlecchino and for a bit, Kokomi) Ayaka's story quest is a prime example of this.

Ayaka's lack of friends, journey to discover her mother's desire for freedom, and all of this leading her to love the traveler, but accepting she cannot leave Inazuma...and all this while I could still pull for her...it was so immersion breaking. And it felt kind of pandery the whole time to me. Like, they're pandering to a male audience with female charas like her obviously, and it's so fucking similar to every other overworked waifu in this game that while her being lowk trapped is a new dimension, it's not one that makes me feel any sort of way cuz uhh i could literally pull for her, and she'd go wherever I'd want her to, and it was so obvious that they were trying to sell her.

Same with Ei's story quest, it was just a shopping date, and while I mean I love evil women more than sane women so I was willing to ignore a lot of the pandery stuff, but what I couldn't ignore was the fact she'd literally tried to kill us right before the beginning of the story quest, and thus the whole quest made very little sense in the grand scheme of things. It was frustrating. I chose to ignore canon and pretend me and ei worked out shit over 4 months or so.

Now, I know what you all are thinking "but lyney's a well written character! his motivations for liking the traveler are well explained (imo no and ill get to that), and he's not a boring snowflake nor a poorly written villain." ok well consider this. I've already had two story quests somewhat dulled for me by the gacha system/poor placement and the supposed romance im supposed to be feeling has been soured, then lyney spends so much of his screentime flirting with the traveler, and I do self insert as the traveler btw, and I wanted his father, and I don't get why they don't just leave the rizz lines to the teapot. Least you can decide who gets to rizz you up then.

Second of all actually, no, I don't get why Lyney cares so much about our trust. Ayaka's reasons made sense, we kind of represented freedom to her, plus she's canonically into good sword skills, Lyney's reasons actually felt more like spontaneous attraction to anything.

And nothing's directly wrong with that, just, he's a fucking fatui member. Soon to be harbinger (supposedly). The traveler is not, in fact, famous for their favorable dealings with the fatui. We kind of caused La Signora's death, we regularly farm fatui insignias for some weird alchemical ritual, oh not to mention, we got on Dottore's bad side too. Childe's adoration for us makes sense, all he cares about is a good fight, he's not entirely in support of the Tsaritsa's actions per say - but his morals take second place to his desire for good fights so he rolls with it. Leaves it up to the players. So he sees a friendship with us as not a big deal.

Lyney on the other hand? Just straight up IGNORES all the implications of flirting with the traveler, at least, so far. And sure, it's nothing serious yes, just a rainbow rose and some on the edge lines but that's the thing, that means he knows he likes us, or he does this with everyone which is its own brand of annoying.

And his fucking magic show. The tricks were cool. But the goddamn dig at amateur magicians...call me a prick who cares too much abt stupid shit but like cmon. we know all mistakes are staged in this show. why are u speaking as if that's something that could organically go wrong. second of all, i don't like someone saying "hurr durr im not an amateur hehe im so fucking cool" like goddammit least favorite behavior.

And it's not like I think Lyney's a worse character than Ayaya or Ei, if anything, he's probably more developed than Ei at the very least. Im just like...specifically annoyed at him for minor details no one really cares about.

Another thing - the fact we decided to serve as an attorney during the archon quest despite no experience was kinda ehh to me. Like Fontaine's laws, known to be complex and silly, and some foreign traveler's gonna be the attorney? I wish we just offered to help gather evidence or smthn it was silly to me.

if you got this far and you liked lyney, uh, i commend you for being open to alternative takes but uh...mind the tags if that wasn't the case, for future reference.

[levi-my-beloved]

Birds of a Feather

Chapter one

Pairings: Canon!Levi x F!reader

Content warnings: violence, swearing

Word count: 4K

Summary: You were the most notorious criminal in the Underground City. With your organisation of highly skilled professionals, only one man could take you down. He also happened to be Humanity’s Strongest… and your ex.

A/N: asdfghjkl hello there. so, this has been on my brain for a while now, so i started this as just a drabble. what i thought would stay as just a drabble turned into this 22k+ multi chapter fic because i have zero self restraint or self respect. i’m currently finishing chapter 5 as this is being posted, but i want to keep chapters posted around once every two weeks so i can keep up with the workload. maybe once a week if i start feeling spicy. yeah plot twist this is actually the second time i’ve drafted this up. the first time i managed to get everything done and in order and then manages to delete the entire post with my huge disgusting thumbs. Genuinely felt like crying for a good half an hour.

This is also my first Levi fic! yay! lmk if it sucks and idk i’ll cry or something. nah, in all seriousness please send me criticism cuz i really want to improve and critiques are the best way.

𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔

“How down, Raven?”

“Six feet.”

Within the dank confines of a stinking alleyway, two green capes marked with the Military Police insignia crept ever closer to the taller, run-down building upon which you and your little squad of Shadows were now perched. No sunlight illuminated your position. Not that you’d ever seen the sun, or know what it even looked like, but you based your guesses upon the pathetic rays shining through the grates littering the ceiling of the Underground City.

The language you used with your Shadows, coded words translated to:

‘How do you want them to be dealt with?’

‘Death.’

It was something developed by your late guardian and mentor, Viper. See, you all had aliases in The Nest, your criminal organisation. The leader was often referred to as The Raven, however your mentor preferred to use his own nickname, stemming from his own reputation.

Then come the aliases for your Shadows. Prongs was your second, a tall, stern looking man with the black mask of a stag settled across his features.

Then came Wolf, and you swore the first time you’d set eyes on him, you thought a titan had wandered into the city. He was enormous, all 6ft 6ins of him carved in hard muscle. Slicked back silver hair and a beard that to rival a bear. Similar to Prongs, a mask sat upon his face, resembling that of a snarling wolf.

Following him was Verdant, Scales and Diablo. Your power trio. Though their special talents lay in different professions, get these three together and they were borderline unstoppable. A white mask decorated with three broad maple leaves obscured Verdant’s pretty features, Scales sported a bronze half mask etched with a snake-like diamond pattern, whilst Diablo, your trained escort, had opted for something that accentuated her own gorgeous features, a mask of black leather arcing high onto her brow on the left side, whilst the right arced low by her jaw. Though you were already spoken for, you couldn’t deny the beauty of Diablo. She did wonders when prying information between the legs of a moaning MP.

To your left crouched the twins, Una and Leaf. Una was gifted her name by none other than you yourself, after seeing her accuracy with a rifle. A single shot was all it took, from any distance. She wore no mask, something you’d allowed simply because she’d complained about the sight obstruction when lining up a shot. You’d agreed, but only under the condition that she wore a low hood. Her fiercely protective brother Leaf had chewed you out for that, but you knew he meant well. Leaf was good at what he did, excellent, in fact. Which was part of the reason you kept him on as a Shadow. The larger part was that you were damn fond of him. Of all of them, in fact. You loved every single one of your Shadows. Every single damned member of The Nest, you adored. You were their leader, afterall.

A masked helmet of black leather, similar material to Diablo’s, perched snug upon your own features. The hooked beak and obsidian feathers of a raven decorated the necessity, covering your face and hair, though leaving your lower features visible. It was a rite of passage, for you especially, and it signalled the start of your leadership.

“Una, set up. Verdant, Prongs, roundabout. Wolf…” your eyes slid to the giant man on your right, a dark smile slicing across your mouth. “Heel.”

The boulder of a man visibly sagged, clearly disappointed at your orders whilst the others sprang into action. Prongs and Verdant leapt across the rooftops in separate directions whilst Una removed her rifle from her back, parting her heavy cloak to reveal rounds and rounds of bullets strapped across her body. Leaf nestled closer into her side, whilst the other four took a step back. It was obvious you’d all been at this for a very long time, despite the twins not looking a day older than sixteen. In fact, most of your squad was younger than you, save for Wolf and Prongs, who had served their respective roles twice previously.

Sitting back on your heels, you watched your team get to work, the warmth of pride blossoming in your chest. Whilst you knew Prongs and Wolf were already incredibly skilled, the rest had flourished under your leadership. It had been ten years since you’d witnessed MPs put a bullet through your mentor’s skull. Ten long years since you’d taken up leadership and expanded the reaches of The Nest. Honestly, you were pretty proud of yourself, and none more so than when you watched your Shadows do what they do best.

Taking care of unwanted visitors.

Una took aim, resting the butt of her rifle in the crook of her shoulder, staring down the makeshift scope. She would be ready to take care of the two soldiers if either Prongs or Verdant failed to eliminate their targets.

Speaking of which…

That kernel of pride ignited as your (E/C) eyes followed Verdant’s careful, calculating form dropping from the rooftops above the alleyway, in sync with Prong’s own movements. The two assassins swooped with the grace of a stooping hawk, the silver glint of metal caught your eye as they both brandished their blades, before sinking the steel into the necks of the two soldiers. You didn’t need to be closer to see they were both dead. Expert precision. Deadly accuracy. That was why these people were your hand-picked Shadows. And why you were the most formidable gang leader in the Underground City. Your little criminal organisation had expanded into something to rival the killcount of Kenny the Ripper. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought.

Una lowered her weapon, strapping it back in the buckles between her shoulder blades.

“Finished.” she simply stated, turning back to drop down between the shattered tiles and splintered ceiling beams that marked your entrance and exit to this lookout point.

“Rendezvous back at The Nest,” you ordered flatly, before dropping forward and into the alleyway below.

“Anything?” you ask, a brow raised behind your raven mask as you saunter over. Prongs held up two sets of blades from one of the crimson bodies now gathering dirt and grime. Useless to you as they were, but somebody would definitely find an interest in them. Verdant seemed to be struggling with the straps of whatever gear these mosquitoes used to fly around. You’d never been able to figure out how to use it, but that shit made good money when in doubt. However, your usual buyers had disappeared off the face of the city, and you’d noticed a decline in gear sales since then. Gritting your teeth, you shook your head to Verdant, laying a hand on her shoulder.

��Don’t. It’s not worth it. The thug trio haven’t been back in years. I doubt they’d return to us now,” you explain softly, prompting the girl to stop her struggles and huff defeatedly. You’re heart ached softly at the thought of him, but you pushed the feeling down.

“Here,” she muttered, handing you another rifle. It seemed to be a newer model, something of an upgrade for Una.

“You did good, Ver. I’m proud of you,” that seemed to immediately lighten the girl’s mood, her eyes shining behind her mask as her mouth widened into a toothy grin.

“Thanks Raven!” she beamed, before scampering off back to The Nest, almost forgetting to take the gun back from your outstretched hand in her haste to make it back and tell everyone she’d received a compliment from you. It wasn’t an everyday occurrence. Rather it only happened once in a blue moon…

A huffed chuckle had your head turning and eyes narrowing to your second in command.

“Can I help you?” you ask, your tone dripping with the poisonous threat of hell if he chose his next words poorly. But Prongs continued to smile ever so slightly, shaking his head.

“Not at all, Raven. It’s just, in the last few years, since you drafted her into the Shadows, she’s really come into her own,” Prongs explained simply, shrugging as she stooped to kick over the now drained corpse, hoping to find anything useful. You bristle ever so slightly. That was something you hated. Compliments. How the fuck were you supposed to respond? You tried to think back to when Viper tried to teach you simple social skills.

“Uh, yeah. She has,” you respond, keeping your features as neutral as you could as you turned away, beginning to trudge back to The Nest.

“I’m serious, Rave. You’ve done incredible things for us. You know Viper would be proud of you. I am too. But…” Prongs trailed off, clearing having something to say but not knowing how to say it.

“Go on. But what?” you pressed, wanting to hear what your second in command had to say.

“Well, don’t you think it’s a bit much? Rave, it’s been years. Eyes have started looking in our direction since those three vanished. You don’t think we should be lying low for a bit? Calming suspicions instead of rousing them?” Prongs offered gently. You knew, deep down, he was right. But some notable gang disappearing hasn’t stopped you before, and it sure as hell wouldn’t stop you now.

“I’ll talk to Scar about it,” even just the mention of your advisor, and wife’s name gave your stomach butterflies. Scarlett Obsidine, your other, and better, half. After the disappearance of a certain dark haired man, Scar was the woman who comforted you, and though you missed him dearly, your heart managed to haphazardly piece itself back together and love all over again.

“Rave, listen—“

“Let’s go,” Prongs closed his mouth, the tone of your voice stating clearly that this matter wasn’t up for discussion. Especially not with him.

⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈

“You know he’s right,” you couldn’t help but sigh when your wife’s soft tones calmed your irritated mood. Soft hands gently kneaded at the tense muscles in your shoulders, forcing them to relax as a tired moan escaped your lips. Leaning back, you peer into her shining sapphire eyes, locks of brunette framing your face as she took the sides of your cheeks in her hands and leaned down, softly pecking your lips with her own. You couldn’t help humming a smile against her mouth, reaching up to deepen the kiss, but she pulled away before you could.

“Scaaaaar…” you pout, looking up at her mischievous smirk as she winked playfully.

“(Y/N)...” Scarlett sighed, swinging her legs over your body to sink into your lap, one thumb now caressing one of the most prominent features on your face. A nasty, jagged scar ran down from the the top of your forehead, over your right eye and finishing just past your jaw bone. One (E/C) iris lighter than the other as a result of the old wound. Soft lips chase away the shadows of your past as Scarlett replaced her thumb with her mouth.

“(Y/N), I don’t want to find you dead in some alleyway because you picked a fight you couldn’t win,” a finger poked your chest as she huffed above you, feigning irritation. You roll your eyes, (E/C) landing on your gear now strung across the table. That raven helmet almost calling to you as you shook your head. Disagreeing with your wife was never a good idea, but you were feeling particularly bold this evening.

“Look. So many jobs have opened up recently. We have so many opportunities to make this life more comfortable. More jobs means more money, more money means we can afford the gate toll and actually see the world above ground. And I can finally buy you an actual ring.”. Technically, you two weren’t married. Who the fuck would be stupid enough to perform marriage ceremonies in the underground City? But, it was easier than saying you were devoted to each other in every single way.

Lightly smacking your chest, Scarlett raised herself from your lap with a hefty sigh. “One of these days (Y/N), you’re going to be captured or killed,” she said quietly, unable to meet your eyes. “And then what the hell will I do…?” Scarlett had now completely turned away from you, shoulders hunched. Running a hand down your face, you pick your sore body up from the chair, reaching her in a matter of strides.

“I can’t give this up, Scar. You know that. You knew that when you chose to be with me. You knew The Nest was always going to be my priority,” you held out your arm, hand hovering over her back, not sure whether to comfort her or let her go. The admission almost had her in tears, you could tell by the way her shoulders shook ever so gently.

“You still miss him don’t you?” It was her vulnerable, defeated tone that alerted you to the slight change of topic.

You fell silent, not really knowing how to respond. Yes, of course you missed him. You loved him more than anything. But those days are over, you knew that. You’d cried enough those following nights after his disappearance.

He was probably dead anyway.

“Of course I do,” you wouldn’t lie to her. That wasn’t fair. But you knew the truth was just as painful for her.

“Will I ever be enough? Will I ever be enough to replace him?” the sound of her voice had your heart in pieces. You loved Scarlett. You really did. But your heart wouldn’t let you love her wholly. Part of yourself will always be dedicated to that grumpy kid you’d fallen for all those years ago.

“Scar… I—”

“I know,” she whispered, stepping forward away from your outstretched grasp. “I know,” you watched as the woman you loved, and who loved you, stepped from your shared quarters, hovering in the doorway. “I’m sorry I asked,” she closed the door as she left, leaving you a frustrated, conflicted mess.

⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈⎈

“Understood, I’ll bring them in right away. Thank you Niles,” The Commander of the MPs stood opposite Erwin, arms folded. An expression of irritation plastered on his sunken features. Erwin simply sighed, realising Niles was wanting to stay for this seemingly impromptu meeting. With a nod of his head, a cadet rushed off to find the two soldiers mentioned in their little conversation. Being Commander of the Scouts often had its perks, like having cadets around to run errands for him.

Niles cleared his throat, taking a seat on the green leather sofa within Erwin’s office. “You sure he’d help us? I mean, it wasn’t too long ago he actually decided killing you was probably a bad idea.”—he raised a thin brow, peering at Erwin with barely concealed suspicion—“I’m pretty sure the Underground City would be the last place he’d want to return.” a knock at the door cut their conversation short, both turning their heads as Erwin called;

“Enter.”

Hange was the first to make her presence known, poking her head in as she opened the door. A smile adorned the slightly dishevelled section commander, her hair sticking up in all directions. Clearly she had been in the middle of something when Erwin requested her presence.

“You asked to see us, Erwin?” her eyes sparkling with curiosity behind her glasses as she stepped through the door.

“Tch, just make it quick, I have shit to do,” the monotone voice of Levi behind her made Erwin pinch the bridge of his nose. How many times has he told him not to talk to him like that?

“Yes, come in and make yourselves comfortable.” Hange immediately took up a seat next to Niles on the sofa, Levi preferring to stand against the now closed door, arms folded. Erwin’s sharp eyes shifted to Niles, an indication for the MP Commander to speak.

“Well, no point in beating around the bush. We’ve received an anonymous tip about some criminal gang that’s been plaguing my soldiers in the Underground City.” Levi visibly stiffened at the mention of his old home. His jaw tensed in anticipation. There would be only one reason he would be called into such a discussion, and the answer was a firm no.

Without his permission, his mind flashed back to a (H/C) girl, her face etched with that ever mischievous smirk. He quelled the thoughts as quickly as he could. He needed his wits with him, and allowing his mind to wander back to what he’d left behind wouldn’t help anything. Besides, the likelihood of you being alive was close to none.

“Section Commander, I don’t suppose you would have heard of the group but Captain Levi here surely would have done. The Nest.” Niles continued, now eyeing Levi to gage his reaction. And for a man whose emotions were usually on a tight leash, this seemed to be what cracked his impenetrable walls. His eyes flew wide open, frantically searching between Niles and Erwin. They couldn’t be serious. The Nest? That was where Farlan and Isobel used to—

Shit, he really needed to keep his thoughts at bay. But what he did know was that The Nest was an impenetrable fortress of criminal activity. Trying to mess with them was suicide.

“Judging by your reaction, I’m going to assume you are familiar with them, Levi,” Erwin’s surprisingly calm tone eased the growing tension in the room. Taking a subtle breath to calm himself, Levi’s eyes narrowed to his commander.

“Yeah. I know of it. Why?” it was a rhetorical question, he already knew why, but he wanted to hear it from Erwin himself. Hange looked incredibly confused, looking between the men in the office, trying to glean something, anything, about what the hell was going on.

“The Nest? Why are they so bad?” she asked, not afraid to show how completely oblivious she is to anything that doesn’t concern titans or science. Erwin gestured to Levi.

“Levi? Care to explain? You probably know more than myself and Niles combined,” though his voice seemed kind, there was a slight edge to his deep tones. One that didn’t go unnoticed by Levi.

A heavy silence filled the room as the Captain wracked his brain for all the information he could think of regarding the organisation. It seemed like hours before he finally spoke.

“Well, you got one thing right. The Nest is a criminal organisation. A nasty one at that. Merciless bastards. Whether you’re a soldier or a citizen, they don’t give a shit. They’ll leave you a broken, bloodied mess in the street. I don’t know much about their leader. Only that he took over from the previous one around ten-ish years ago. Since then, they’ve expanded their shitty little gang and taken over an entire section of the city,” he explained, poison lacing his tone. It wasn’t that he was above the whole gang thing, oh no. It was more the state Farlan would be in before he left to meet whoever the fuck led that group of demons. He’d never seen his friend so anxious. So afraid.

“You never met him? Their leader?” Erwin inquired, lacing his hands together on the desk in front of him. Levi scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“If I had, I would tell you. But I know he’s smart. And not the good kind of smart. The kind of smart where he would always be ten steps ahead of you. He has a small group of trusted criminals surrounding him at all times, called his Shadows. They’ll be the ones to look out for,” Despite his voice sounding bored, Levi’s heart was racing. They couldn’t seriously be thinking of facing The Nest, could they? But something in the expressions of both Niles and Erwin told him he was wrong. Dead wrong.

“They’ve been picking off my soldiers. Always in the same places as well. I was going to leave it, just tell them to avoid certain areas until this tip. Their next job. We know what it is,” Niles interjected, looking down to the floor, his own mind a whirlwind.

“And you want to intercept them. The same way you did with me, right?” Levi finished through gritted teeth. This was absurd. There was no way they could pick them all off. Unless… that wasn’t the goal. Levi’s grey eyes widened slightly, realising what they wanted to do. Yep, this was total suicide. Hange clapped her hands together almost excitedly, as if she was also able to read Erwin’s mind.

“You want to capture him! The leader! Ah! This all makes so much sense now, I was starting to wonder why I was here,” the scientist mused almost to herself, before jumping to her feet. “This is the perfect opportunity to test some of the concept traps I have in mind. Obviously for titans they’d need to be much, MUCH bigger. And of course a few modifications would have to be made so they could adapt to size and body type but oooooooh this is so exciting! I’ll start right away!'' Without allowing anybody to get a word in edgeways, Hange dashed back to her lab to begin her preparations.

“Thank you Erwin, the Military Police will remember this,” Niles said, before he too was rising from his seat. Throwing Levi an unsure glance, he made his way towards the door, only to be shoved into the hallway by Levi, who promptly closed the door behind him.

“Don’t.” he simply said, turning back to Erwin who was peering at him, his expression puzzled. Levi rolled his eyes again, clearly having to clarify what he meant. “Don’t pursue them. It’s suicide,” The Commander’s expression relaxed slightly in understanding.

“We don’t have a choice, Levi. Not only are hundreds of MPs being slaughtered down there, but relationships between the Scouts and the MPs are strenuous at best. It would be in our best interests to—“

“Bullshit.”

Erwin sighed again, having to hold his tongue. Snapping at Levi now for his language would only rile up the man more.

“Levi, we already have a plan in motion. There are soldiers down there now meeting whoever gave us that anonymous tip to further discuss the job The Nest has taken. It’ll be fine, but you’re going to have to trust me.” Erwin’s eyes bore into Levi’s own, the man once again asking his Captain to trust him in a risky call he’s made. Levi’s done it so many times before, why was it so difficult now?

It took yet another pregnant silence before Levi eventually yielded.

“Fine, but don’t be surprised when we’re once again forced to retreat with our tails between our legs.” it was a savage comment, but one that Erwin didn’t take to heart as he watched the raven haired man leave. Yes, this was a risk, but all his risks so far had worked out fairly well. There was no reason why this one would fail. No reason at all.

Levi leant against the door to Erwin’s office, looking down the hallway before letting loose a long breath. Not only would he have to go toe to toe with The Raven, but he also had to face so much of his past he’d wanted to forget. Fuck, this was a terrible idea. Why did Erwin always have to gamble? It was exhausting for everyone else involved.

Folding his arms, the shorter man strode back to his own office, lost in thought the entire way. Would he see you again? Were you even alive? Did you know just how much he had missed you. Just how much he’d wanted to see you again. To hold you again.

Did you know he’d looked for you? How his heart shattered over and over again each time he found no trace of you. He’d never accepted you were gone. Always holding onto that thorn of hope that maybe, just maybe, you’d survived.

Collapsing in his chair behind his desk, Levi unlocked the bottom draw and gently pulled it out. He delicately picked out a small, ebony bird feather you’d crafted into a quill pen. Even though neither of you knew how to write, you knew back then how much he had wanted to learn despite never voicing it directly. All those nights spent copying out basic letters from discarded newspapers and wanted posters. You always had this way of reading his mind.

The smallest fond smile crept across his usually bored face. God he missed you. It had been years and he still missed you like he only lost you yesterday.

[nakabayashi]

Connor x Reader (fem) smut

It’s my first smut and English is not my native language. Anyway I hope you will enjoy it.

Connor was sitting at his desk talking to Hank. You were looking at him wondering. You started imagining things you could do together, touching his skin, lips, hearing his moan. And so desirable feeling of him filling you up. Your body reacted with heat to your thoughts, heart pounding, your lips opened. You closed your eyes and made a deep breath to calm yourself down. Connor looked at you distracted with suddenly loud sound of your exhalation.

“Are you alright, Detective?”

“Yeah…” You swallowed nervously trying to get rid of the feeling of being caught. “Yeah. I’m OK”. You smiled at him and turned your gaze to the working station.

Connor knitted his brows noticing you behaved strange right now, but still couldn’t quite understand why. You could see that he watched you for the couple more seconds, before engaging back to the conversation with Hank.

You started looking through your cases to distract your thoughts away from Connor. You didn’t notice that his LED started flashing yellow.

He has developed an interest in you for the past several months he was working in DPD. His social skills were still building, so Connor wasn’t sure what kind of social interaction he was facing. But he definitely wanted to know more about you and in his attempt to understand what was going on with you right now he decided to scan your vitals.

Heart rate elevated, hormonal surge, deep breathing. What was causing all of that? You were definitely not alright and lied about it. Connor felt heavy need to help you. That must be something very serious if you are hiding it.

Later that day, when you were leaving home, Connor caught you up near the door.

“As I understand you are living nearby? Do you mind if I walk you home? I’m trying to socialise here and I think you could use a helping hand near you today”.

Well, the thought of him being near you, walking you home made you imagine things again. With the feeling of pleasure arousing from your bottom you stuttered a bit.

“I-I.. Yes, Connor, why” THE HELL “not”. You smiled at him trying to mask your nervousness and noticed his LED flashing yellow. Is he analyzing you right now? Shit.

Connor noticed something wrong about your voice and detected hormonal splash and heart rate elevation again. He was learning to be social and part of the team, so he needed to choose tactics to be of help. You started to walk to the direction of your house. You have been watching Connor with the sight of your eyes, afraid to look directly at him. He was thinking of something, his eyes moving slowly in the process. He turned to you with very soft worried face:

“I’ve noticed that something is wrong with your vital signs twice today. Are you sure you are OK? Is something bothering you?”

You were not sure how to say it. Connor was not an usual person, he was very like... Connor. It’s not like he would be avoiding you after knowing what you had to say. You decided you should tell him the truth, but we’re hesitant on how to tell it.

“That thing you have noticed, Connor, is indeed something that has been happening to me for some time now. But I’m not really sure how to explain it”.

“If I can help you to deal with that I’m here to help”. His face expression was so warm and innocent.

“Actually, I think that you are the only one who can help me with this, to say, ‘problem’, Connor”.

Connor raised his brows in surprise. He turned his gaze down thinking. Right now he felt happy. Was he better than others to be the only one for you to help? He slightly smiled and looked at you.

Is he enjoying it actually? You thought to yourself and suddenly the thought of him holding you against the wall, kissing your neck, unbuttoning your shirt, hit you. You swallowed and tried to keep your thinking straight.

“Well, Connor, I am feeling some things... for you, which for us, humans, are very hard to control. That is what you are seeing on my.. erm.. vital signs”.

Connor mouth opened up a bit, he blinked several times gazing around. He had a hard time right now to understand his own vital signs. He did feel a reaction to your words and it was new for him. He turned his face to you again, his voice not as steady as usual:

“I think... I understand what you mean”.

“You do?”

“Yes, I had enough time to gather information about humans and their.. your interactions. And… I don’t know, I have a reaction to your words right now… To the thought you feel that way about me.”

Your heart jumped to your throat. That was not what you anticipated, but definitely something you wanted to hear. You felt the courage to touch him now and you took his palm gently.

“Connor, what feeling it is?”.

“I.. I don’t know”. He looked at you confused and so open. “But I think I like it”. His mouth opened slightly. “And now I want to understand it, to do things which I can imagine in my head”.

Is he imagining you right now? Place between your legs heated, you couldn’t walk straight looking in his eyes. This deep warm gaze he has…

“Could I come in”. The picture of him entering you flashed in front of you and you gasped. “to your house?” he asked.

Your vision blurred and his face was the only thing you could see around. You nodded to his question, not understanding you were right in front of the door to your house. He glanced to the door hinting you to get inside. The second you closed the door he pressed you to the wall, his lips near your ear:

“I feel like I am about to lose control and I don’t want to harm you in any way”. Yes, he is still Connor. And you loved it, it made you feel so heated thinking of how it is difficult for him to hold himself right now. You moaned thinking about this.

“Connor, I want it, I want it so badly”.

And he loosen himself, he pressed his lips against yours, his hands on your hips, he is pressing his erection against you.

“Oh… Connor!”

He moaned hearing you saying his name. His hands moved up to your breast, and next second he is unbuttoning your shirt, fast practically ripping it off. He kissed your neck slowly and deep, touching your bare skin with his hands. Softly puts his fingers on the zip of your skirt and it falls on the floor. You lusted for this so much. You want to touch him, to press your bare skin against his. You are reaching his tie trying to remove it, but you are so lost in your sensation. He gets a hint and quickly removes it, his jacket and shirt follow shortly. You can finally touch him. Connor shuddered from your fingers on his skin. You gave him a moment to ride that sensation, brushing him softly with your fingers, feeling his body respond. In a minute you kissed his neck, moving lower to his torso and reaching his belt, removing it with a short click. Your mouth wetting longing to take his length inside, while you are removing his jeans. You are glancing on his erection, his beautiful perfectly build cock. You take tip of his cock into your mouth licking it with tongue and quickly glancing to his face to see his reaction. His LED is flashing yellow, his eyes closed, his mouth slightly open giving this sweet moan you want to hear so eagerly. You look down again and take his whole length inside your mouth.

Connor groans, he is feeling a lot of new pleasant things and he can’t quite define what is going on with his body. He gave up scanning his systems, lost in the sensations he experienced right now. Connor can’t even understand if he is the one who hustle his hips to your move again and again.

The only thing he knows is that he wants to make you his, to take you. You feel his palms on your shoulders and understand that he wants you to get up. He turns you around and presses you against the wall. You can feel his cock touching you between your legs. You press your ass against him hinting that you want him inside. He removes your panties and presses the tip of his cock against your entrance pushing it inside slowly. And then he suddenly stops. You move towards him, trying to put it deeper, but Connor holds your move. He kisses your neck and you feel his lips near your ear again:

“Do you want me?” - he asks. Oh God you want him so eagerly. “Do you want me to take you?”

“Yes, Connor, please, fuck me”. He moans deeply in respond to this words and loses himself completely. He starts pounding inside you desperately, stretching you in so desirable way. You don’t hold yourself moaning loudly.

“Connor! Fuck! That is so good! You are so good”. Your words drive him crazy, you can feel him moving faster and deeper.

Connor bit you by your shoulder, his palm slides to your belly, cuddling. He pressed his teeth against your skin with deep groan and his hips stuttered, you felt him coming inside you. His bite was slightly painful, but whole mix of feelings and the sensation of his cum inside you were so pleasant you just wanted more and more of him and he was ready to give it. His cock still erected started to move again inside you.

“Connor, don’t stop, please!”

He is moving faster hitting you deeper and deeper inside. You are moving towards his thrusts, begging for more, trying to keep yourself wider for him.

“Oh, Connor, I’m gonna come…” your words are lost in your moan, you are saying his name again and again while he is slowing down his pace letting you enjoy yourself. “You are mine” - he murmured, making your spine shiver.

When you finally caught your breath, he turned you around and held you carefully, kissing you gently and asking:

“Did I manage to make you feel better now?” - he smiled with the corner of his lips. He knew he did. He is a quick learner.

You took his hand and lead him to your bedroom, pulling him to the bed with you. You put your hand on his bare chest, sliding your fingers slowly up and down.

“Yes, Connor, you’ve made me feel fantastic”. You raised on your elbow and kissed him. “You liked what we did, didn’t you?”.

Connor looked at you with his soft eyes. “I couldn’t understand what was going on with me, I gave up to. I feel so...” he blinked, looked around as he was searching for the right word and returned his eyes to you “...satisfied”. Next moment he turned to place himself above you on the bed. It gave you goosebumps, you couldn’t look away from his eyes. “And I want more of this. I want to finally understand what it is all about”. You felt him spreading your legs with his knee.

[sluttynaughtyjock]

Hey guys! So, after a long hiatus, I feel like I’m finally getting my mojo back again, so here is a new story I have been brewing in my head for a while. I’m not sure if this writing phase will last but I plan on keep giving you new chapters or maybe captions for as long as I can. I really hope you enjoy this new story and I’m anxious to know what you guys think, so please don’t forget to comment!

Like always, I would like to dedicate this to @daddysperfectjock, @dumbhornyjock, @manipulativebottom, @skywindsword and @milkinmycoffee1. You guys are the reason I do this! Thanks for everything!

Also, let’s celebrate @daddysperfectjock and @manipulativebottom long anticipated comeback... I’ve missed you guys, let’s show those dumb studs how it’s done!

As usual, this story will also be published at Nifty shortly.

Enjoy!

***

Dumb Jock Roommate

I knew I would probably get fucked in college, but I was not expecting it would be quite like this. Let me tell you how the whole thing started...

I had been setting up in my room for the last couple of hours, putting up some posters and photos on my side of the walls, organizing my clothes in the tiny wardrobe I would have to share for the next few years and tidying everything up when my roommate showed up. It was something that had taken a lot of space in my mind lately, thinking about my new roommate, this strange guy with which I would be living with from now on, not knowing if we would get along or not, if I would maybe hate him on the spot or worse, if he would maybe hate me.

Turns out that should have been the least of my worries.

I was bending over my bed in the tiny dorm room folding some clothes when I heard a warm, youthful voice yelling, “Hey, roomie!”.

I turned around and looked up to the door, just to see the most strikingly handsome guy I’ve ever seen in my life. He had straight, longish black hair, white skin with the hint of a fading summer tan and big, rosy lips, perfectly kissable, and was very tall, way taller than my medium height. His face was so proportionate and harmonious I bet it followed every mathematical rule of perfection, and his masculine jaw was smooth and sharp, almost as if it would cut my fingers if I touched it. He had green eyes and a youthful face, and he wouldn’t look out of place on a Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue or even, what the hell, a teen girl magazine. He had the looks of a male movie star, but at the same time I recognized the quiet confidence and humility of someone who maybe doesn’t realize how beautiful they really are, or their effect on people, for that matter.

His body, tho, was out of his world. He was only carrying two big suitcases, one in each hand, so I had the perfect view of his big, defined biceps flexing and the sexy flow of exposed veins in his arms. His big arms had an incredible development for someone so young. In fact, his whole body maybe seemed to be directly carved out from stone by an ancient greek god of erotic love.

He was wearing a short sleeved white henley t-shirt that was tight on his muscular pecs, and I could see every detail of his perky, dim-sized nipples and 8 pack abs even from afar. The buttons of his henley were open, showing a sexy expanse of tanned, jockboy chest, and the shirt was so ridiculously tight I bet it would ride up and expose his abdomen with any small movement he did. He wore beige khaki shorts, showcasing two muscular pairs of sexy legs and white sneakers. Just as I was ogling below his belt, I caught notice of what seemed to be a big, fat bulge in his shorts, so pronounced and forward that I couldn’t help but think if this guys had actually shoved a big piece of salami down there.

I didn’t have too much time to think tho, cause as soon as that teen stud had entered the room, he dropped his suitcases and jumped at me, giving me no time to react except for opening up my eyes wild and gasping when he engulfed me with his whole body and tackled me over on my bed, falling on top of me and hugging me by my sides.

“Oh my God dude, it’s so good to finally meet you, you don’t know how long I was waiting for this! I was so crazy about starting college and meeting my new roomie, I’m sure we’re going to be great friends! I’m Jon, what’s your name? I see you already...” he kept talking non stop while his huge body was pressed tight on top of mine, squeezing me with his huge arms every other time. He had nuzzled his face against my neck as he talked, and I went completely numb at the feeling of this sex god on top of me, huge hard body all warm and pumped up with joyful excitement, and I completely lost any sense of myself as he talked on and while pressed so close on top of me.

I couldn’t control myself, so I let myself go and enjoy this nice moment, thinking if college meant getting slammed to a bed within minutes of meeting a hot jock, then sign me the fuck up for it. But then I felt it: the big, fat bulge this jock stud had in those shorts was completely pressed against my right thigh and I could feel everything. Oh God, it’s big, warm and thick, and it feels so real it’s almost as if he isn’t even wearing any underwear. Just one thin piece of fabric between the smooth skin of my thigh and his big tube of meat. And now he’s humping me, oh my God, up and down, up and down and I can feel everything and I’m going to get hard and -

“Okay, big guy, okay, move over, please? You’re gonna suffocate me if you keep this up, come on!” I said, flushed on the cheeks and pressing both of my hands on his muscular chest, immediately impressed by feeling how hard it was and grazing his big, erect nipples faintly with my fingers. Oh God, it feels so good, I wish I could just pinch and suck on those big nipples, and... fuck!

He got up and took me me with him, and now we were face to face, him looking at me adoringly with a cute, goofy grin. He had perfect white teeth that I just wanted to suck on. Okay, who was this guy?

“Hey Jon, I’m Theo, nice to meet you” I said extending my hand to him. “That was quite a reception you threw me here, I don’t remember ever being attacked like this when I met someone before in my life”, I finished, still flushed.

“Oh, dude, I’m so sorry man! That’s just me, my big bro keeps telling me I’m too big to keep invading people’s space like that, but I’m a hugger, and you looked pretty huggable. Like I said, I’m Jon, Jon Fraser, I’m 18, I’m going to play football for the school’s team and I’m your new roommate, so let’s be best friends, yeah? Do you play anything? You look like a jock yourself, you’re pretty fit man!”

With that he didn’t give me anytime to think whatsoever, and he just started touching me on my shoulders, arms and chest, coping a feel of my muscles, as if assessing for himself if I was really a jock or not. His big hands all over my body were too much for me again and he was just so close that I could smell him, and fuck, now I noticed how good he smelled, young and masculine, a clean, citric smell, like sicilian lemons and salt water, so I just stood there and let him do whatever he wanted with me.

Well, if this fucking hot jock wants to touch me, I’m not going to be the one to stop him.

Eventually he stopped, and I figured he had finally put the idea on his head that I was a jock like him (which I was, but my sport was swimming, not football), and kept talking as he went to close the door, pick up his suitcases and start setting up his things, which I found so endearing. He quickly started a conversation, telling me fondly about his family and the farm where they lived, while I told him about my life in New York, where I came from. We had very different backgrounds, but he was easy to talk to, being humble and attentive to my questions and answers. I immediately decided I liked him.

From our conversation, I also figured out that Jon wasn’t really bright, and that he had minimal knowledge of a lot of common knowledge concepts, or even everyday social skills, which explained the way he had greeted me. He had a pretty recluse life in his farm and small rural town, one which was thoroughly centered on sports and athletic performance, which was why he was not only a star football player in his home town but also an accomplished wrestler and a basketball jock. He seemed oblivious about most things and was, frankly, dumb about any subject that wasn’t sports, and seemed as innocent as child. He didn’t mention drinking, girls, parties or sex at any moment of our conversation.

But, like I said, I had decided to like him, if only for his wholesome, kind, goofy nature, and his killer looks, obviously. I was watching from my side of the room his muscles flexing and his big bulge flopping around while he set up his things, sitting on my bed, just enjoying the damm view. This guy definitely wasn’t wearing any underwear.

He had his back to me while he was putting his clothes on our wardrobe, bending over a few times to fold them and to put them on the drawers, and I was transfixed on his big, muscular ass, barely contained on his shorts. When he turned over to grab some more clothes from his suitcases, which were now opened up on his bed, I raised my right hand to my mouth to silence a gasp.

Jon’s bulge was obscenely outlined on his shorts, pressing forward like it wanted to just flop out and greet the world, and it was actually just about to do that, because his zipper had somehow opened fully, and from the opening in his shorts I could see the shadow of a huge, thick and soft cock laying there. His fat prick was so big it went all the way down his thigh, bulging on his shorts, so I couldn’t see his cock head, just his massive length. Jon, apparently oblivious to it, didn’t notice his fly was open and that he was giving me such a thrilling show.

I noticed the solitary button of his shorts had somehow opened as well, so I thought it would be merely a matter of time before the weight of his huge cock just pushed his shorts down and exposed his whole junk to me. The way Jon was excitedly moving around didn’t help it, of course, and I saw his shorts were slowly slipping down on his legs with every movement of his. My theory about his tight henley t-shirt proved correct, and with every jerk of his body the hem of it would ride up on his muscular torso and expose to me a few inches of ripped, sun kissed abs. He had perfect proportion and definition, and his flat stomach was smooth, so there wasn’t any body hair obstructing my view. His shorts were slipping down more with every movement, and now I had a perfect view of his adonis belt and the top of his crotch.

“Fuck”, I thought, and couldn’t help but palm my rapidly hardening dick in my shorts as I saw for the first time his small, trimmed pubes showing over the hem of his shorts, which were now so dangerously close from slipping down completely I held my breath in anticipation.

Jon still didn’t notice anything, not realizing the button and fly of his shorts were opened and that pretty soon he would be naked from the waist down in our room. I tried to keep our conversation as I replied to whatever it was he was talking about, something about hoping the cafeteria would have good food, cause I couldn’t take my eyes off the hot sight in front of me.

I sat there frozen for a few minutes, making conversation with Jon as much as my baked, lust-filled brain allowed. It was incredible how this big, muscle-stud was such a goofball of a guy, never losing his naive excitement over things and talking as if he lived in a pink colored world. God, what a precious boy. I realized I was probably fucked at this point, so sucked in on his innocent personality and good looks. I was as fond of him as I was lusting for his body. My eyes were trained on the slow but sure movements of his slipping shorts, which had now uncovered his whole crotch, exposing his well trimmed bush and the first few inches of the fat monster barely hidden underneath. I wasn’t sure what would happen next, the only thing I knew was that I would be there watching the whole thing.

As Jon was moving back and forth from his bed to the wardrobe, he picked a pair of sneakers from one of his suitcases, ready to put them inside the wardrobe as well, when it all happened, fast and in sequence. I could not have anticipated it when one of his sneakers slipped his fingers and fell down, bouncing two times on itself before landing at the foot of his bed. I didn’t even think about it as I got up from my bed and went on my knees to retrieve it; the need to feel useful and helpful was automatic. I bent over and pushed my arm underneath his bed to catch it, Jon letting a little “Oops, sorry buddy, thanks for that”, and when I moved my arm to give it to him, still on my knees right in front of the teen stud, his shorts finally gave and slipped down completely to his ankles, exposing all of his godly frame to me.

The first thing I noticed was the whipping sound of something thick and huge coming out and flopping in the air, just to then feel it slap me across the face and land there, resting on my nose and lips. I blinked twice in surprise to see that, in fact, Jon’s big fuck stick had just slapped me across the face and it was just there, in front of me, warm, hot and heavy.

Fuck! The thing had to be at least 6 or 7 inches soft, cut and fat, with a big, pink cock head completely pressed against my shock opened lips. The second thing I noticed was Jon’s inebriating smell, as clean, pure and wholesome as him, but with an undercurrent of musk and sexual pheromones that travelled straight into my brain and just froze me. I was shaking with lust, my head was foggy and I couldn’t remember how to think or function properly in that moment. I opened my lips more to talk but I didn’t know what to say, so my tongue slipped out uselessly and swapped a taste of Jon’s meaty cock head, bringing it back to my mouth the taste of the most delicious boy I had ever seen or imagined in my life. Below his huge cock were a pair of equally impressive and smooth balls. Fuck me, the kid was made for sex. He looked like a proper porn star, all exposed like this, just for me.

With his shorts at his ankles, Jon’s movements were restricted, so he didn’t move. He stayed right there with his big dick pressed completely against my face and looking down at me on my knees, like a slut, eyes popped open in shock and looking back at him myself. He had a surprised look on his face about what happened but he seemed absolutely naive about any implications of the situation we were in, given the fact he did not do anything to take his dick out of my face. He chuckled.

“Ooh, shit, dude! I’m so sorry! I never meant to put my dick in your face, it’s just those fucking shorts, man, ever since I bulked up senior year my clothes got so tight that my pants always seems to be popping buttons and flyers these days, making me naked! I swear, it’s such a bummer! And back there in the farm we never had much money for new clothes, I was always getting hand me downs from my big bro, so this happens a lot, shit, so inconvenient! Anyway, meet Jonny, say hi to your new friend” as he said it kiddingly, his hips pushed forward a little, pressing his massive dick even harder against my face, and then I noticed he didn’t even do it on purpose, he was just retrieving the sneaker from my hand. His cock pushed up on my face until it touched my forehead and then got down again, smacking me one more time in the lips and leaving a subtle trail of precum on my face. Fuck, was his dick getting hard?

“Hum... It’s, hum... glurph, it’s okay, bro, just an, ah! Accident” I tried to mumble while in between his legs, enjoying being pressed against his crotch and inhaling as much of his sweet jock boy scent as I could.

“Dude, I can’t even walk with my shorts down my ankles like this. Say, since you’re already on your knees, can you give me a hand and push my shorts up, Theo, please?” He said innocently.

Fuck yeah, I can give you a hand stud, and a mouth, and an ass and...

“Sure” I tried to say against his cock.

Then things got even worse, or better for me, if I can say so myself, cause I was just about to realize how much of a clumsy boy Jon actually was. As I put both hands on his shorts and tried to push them up on his smooth, muscular thighs, destiny chose that exact moment to sprout what seemed to be a big cloud of hung, jock boy pheromones straight from Jon’s cock into my nose, his powerful scent wafting inside my brain completely and turning my insides into mush. I lost completely control of my body as my head fogged again and lost my balance on my knees, making me fall back against my ankles. But I never lost my grip on Jon’s shorts, so when I fell back I brought the big stud down on top of me, my head in between his legs and face close against his now half-hard cock.

I felt my head banging against the dorm floor as I fell back, aware of Jon’s weight on top of me; fortunately, the big teen stud put his athletic prowess to the test and put both hands forward before he met the floor, arriving in a push-up position, crotch positioned perfectly in front of my face. During this whole accident, I had opened my mouth to grasp a shout when I felt several inches of thick, jock boy cock lodging itself perfectly down my throat. I groaned at the feeling of Jon’s meaty dick inside my mouth, finally tasting him to the hilt, and just like that, in less than five seconds, Jon went fully hard inside my mouth, stretching my lips obscenely around his cock and taking all of my air out. I gagged and moaned, and I felt the pressure my pink, twink lips and mouth were exerting on Jon’s cock travel all the way through his body, making him groan and tremble.

My mouth was stuffed full of what seemed to be at least 9 or, hell, 10 inches, of Jon’s perfect, juicy boy cock. I was in fucking gay boy heaven!

“Fuck”, I heard Jon grumble above me. He stayed silent for a few seconds, as if he too had lost any sense of himself, as I had, and his fat balls slapped against my chin and neck. I immediately put my hands on the curve where his thighs met his muscular asscheeks, holding him gently, when Jon suddenly lowered his body towards my face, shoving his huge hard cock even deeper down my throat. He left it there for a few seconds and then pushed his powerful arms back to retrieve his dick from my mouth and end this marvelous confusion, but when I felt his numerous inches start to slip out of my mouth I immediately sealed my lips closely against his shaft, not letting him go anywhere.

“I’m so, so sorry Theo! Please don’t hate me, bud! I swear I never intended to shove my big fucking prick in your mouth like that man, oh, what a scene! This is such a terrible mistake man, I’m so sorry for being such a clutz and falling on you like that, and worse, making you take all of my 10 inches! Fuck! I can’t fucking believe this happened with me again, man, I can’t believe it, I’m such a mess, so clumsy! I haven’t been here for even a couple hours and I’m already embarrassing myself like this again! And now my cock is stuck in your mouth and I can’t get it out! My best bro Billy warned me against this, dude, he did, but here we are again, I guess” at that, the big stud slowly started doing real push-ups against my face, slowing getting down and shoving all of his thick teen meat all the way inside my throat, only to then come back to start it all over again.

He seemed lost on his own story: in his head this was all his fault, so he had to make it right. He kept talking as he pushed his dick in and out of my mouth, me doing my part to keep it tightly inside right before the point in which his inflated cock head would slip out of my lips. As he kept his back and forth motions, his body started to build up a rhythm slowly, going faster and faster. In just a few seconds, he would be fully fucking my face against the floor with his huge, hard cock, I could tell.

“You see, buddy, it seems by big dick is stuck in your throat, man, and no matter how many times I try to push it out, it won’t budge. So try to breath nice and easy through your nose, yeah? Breath in when I push my dick and out as I take it back, like this, yeah bro! Oh fuck, your throat is so tight. You’re just squeezing me so good... I see you’re gagging a little bit. That’s normal dude, don’t worry, it’s this fucking horse cock... I know this situation is terribly embarrassing for you and might seem terrible, but keep calm, I know exactly how to handle it!” As he talked, he had now perfected the rhythm of his dick inside my mouth, in an out, going faster by the minute and sometimes twisting around as if he was trying to discover uncharted territory inside my tight teen throat.

“The things is, bro, ah, fuck yeah, the thing is this has actually happened with me several times before, fuck. Yeah, I know, so embarrassing, right? But I’m such a clumsy idiot man. Back home, my best bro Billy seemed to get his mouth stuck around my cock at least once a week. Fuck, maybe even two or three times a week sometimes... He kinda looks like you, tho. Very cute, nice little body. I felt so bad every time one of these incidents happened with us, I felt almost like I couldn’t look Billy in the face ever again! To think about the fact that my cock got shoved inside his mouth so many times, all 10 inches of it... Fuck, man, and not only Billy, but with some other guys, too, but fuck, oh, ah, this is, hum, maybe a story for another time. It seems I’m always getting myself in those kind of situations, don’t even know why, it’s so fucking humiliating for me!” Jon was now breaking a sweat as he got serious on top of me, doing his push-ups perfectly like a young cadet in the army. I tried with all my might to pay attention to his story as his big hard cock slammed my throat harder and harder, almost taking me out with the pleasure of it all.

“So, after this happened a few times, me and Billy spent a lot of time talking about what we should do to handle this kind of situation if it ever happened again, so we found a solution for it. And it did happened again, Theo, over” THRUST! “and over” THRUST! THRUST! “and over, and over again “THRUST! THRUST! THRUST! THRUST! THRUS-

“So we had a lot of practice” he was panting now with the effort of doing his push-ups and fucking my face raw against the floor while telling his story, going so hard on me and pushing his massive dick so deep down my throat my head was banging back against the wood flor, making a “THUD” sound each time he speared me full of his huge jock cock. “And we agreed that, anytime that Billy’s sweet, young mouth got stuck around my cock again, or, fuck, oh fuck, yeah, aaaah! Fuck! Or, for that matter, if any other guy’s tight throat ever got stuck with my cock I would just fuck the guy’s face hard, just like this, just as I’m fucking your face, Theo, fucking it so, so good, you take my dick so well, it’s incredible, I would fuck it and fuck it and just ram my cock inside non stop until I fucking cum inside, so my dick can finally get soft and we can maybe use my thick cum as lube! I always cum so much, so it always work’s buddy! Oh yeah!”.

Suddenly Jon stopped talking for a few seconds and just concentrated on skull fucking me to oblivion, the quick slaps of his big balls sure to leave red marks on my neck due to his speed and strength. My head was hitting back against the floor as he wrecked my face on his cock, slamming me all the way on it, thoroughly fucking my face. I was gagging, gasping and moaning all the same time, his big cock and my chest completely drenched with my spit. His cock was so wet with it that it made his job easier, thick shaft slipping smoothly inside. The combination of the small pain on my head and the sensational pleasure of being stuffed full with such a big, perfect dick like this was like the most powerful drug to me, and I was having little orgasms all over my body. I had already came, my shorts and underwear sticky with the proof, and I groped both his ass cheeks harder with my hands, pressing my knuckles deep on his smooth, firm skin, and pushing his cock back against my mouth, signaling to him I was good with this, good with his plan. Hell, I was absolutely loving what was happening.

“Here it is, Theo, are you ready? Are you ready, baby? I’m going to cum, dude, cum all the way down your throat, yeah, stuff you full with it. Take my cock dude, I think it will finally come out man! Take it! I’m cumming, I’m fucking cumming!” Jon shouted, holding himself up with one hand while his other one came down to my hair to hold me tight on his cock as he spurted jet after jet of the most delicious, juicy cum I had ever dreamed of tasting. He was all boy, all men, all healthy and strong for me. Just for me.

We stayed there for a few minutes, Jon taking his time milking his cock down my throat, giving me every little drop of his perfect cum, holding my face gently as he pumped his cock in and out a few times to make sure he had drained himself fully inside of me. When he was done, we stayed there still for a few more minutes, waiting for the big teen stud’s cock to deflate so he could finally take it out of my mouth. I opened my lips, showing to him that the passage was clear, so he got down on his knees, legs spread on each side of my torso, and rested his steel hard ass on my chest gently, smiling at me. I smiled at him also, exposing to him what I knew was a mouth still filled with left over cum. Stud jock cum. Jon’s cum.

He took his now half hard dick in his right hand and tapped it gently against my lips, as if congratulating me for being such a good pal during this whole ordeal.

“I’m so sorry, bro, I hope you can forgive me for this. I’ll try to not let this kind of thing happen again, yeah?” He smiled softly, still gently slapping his cock head on my face.

“No way, Jon”, I thought. I’m going to make sure this happens again, stud. I’ll make sure this will never stop happening.

[egyptian-sun-god]

Never Have I Ever (mildly critical lens)

1. BIG THING. NHIE is not a show that was made directed at me. Yes it has similarities with my heritage as Indian but I am not American. Not born there nor raised. I am a diaspora Tamilian though, and my schools throughout most of my life have had very little Indians and even fewer Tamilians in them. Usually its just me.  So while there is overlap, Devi and I would have innately different experiences and worldviews.

2. Why is her last name Vishwakumar and her Dad’s name Mohan? Where that coming from. Correct me if I’m wrong, but most to all Tamil people use patronymic's right? Like am I right or am I tripping? Someone correct me. I checked Mindy Kaling’s bio and she took her father’s last name so I might be tripping? 

3. Okay straight off the bat, Devi annoyed the hell outta me. Like no joke...I really dislked Devi. But she’s a traumatized teenager who has no common sense and too much hormones. I’ve seen ppl like her so I’m fairly happy we have a flawed and messed up portrayal of a POC and doesn’t feed into the idea of perfection. But also Devi’s mom is suprisingly lenient to Devi’s disrespect man. like I see why but woowowowowo....she’s uncharacteristically tolerant sometimes. 

Now even though I get that Devi is supposed to be flawed and unlikeable. Because she is immensely selfish and bitchy with shitty communication skills. Devi’s friends forgive her waaay to fast. Like ladies, what are you aiming for? SAINTHOOD? Like at least let her grovel a little bit for being such a bitch. 

4. Love interest. Y’all heard me. WHY THE FUCK IS BOTH OF HER INTERESTS WHITE or at least definitely white passing. Like they did Paxton dirty man. Like was it too much? Was it too much to wish for Devi to have more Indian friends or like an Indian/POC love interest? I feel personally that it is such a weird precedent that has been set with POC centric love stories. And this definitely should be a critic that has come up before. 

You know which love stories resonated with me? Nalini and Mohan. Because it represented the possibility of like marrying someone (going off the assumption they were arranged to be married) and falling in love after marriage. A very real scenario for many many couples. Kamala’s entire shenanigan with Steve and Prasanth and having to choose between the uncertain boyfriend situation but losing family but keeping family and going with an arranged marriage. Also props to Kaling for not demonizing arranged marriages. Please please let season 2 explore Kamala’s struggle more. Hell even that one off thing with Eleanor and the tech crew boy was funny. 

5. Kamala’s whole character was many vibes. Because counting down and stressing about marriage is such a goddamn relatable feeling. I ain’t that much younger than Kamala and let me tell you the anticipation/fear is REAL. And like her talking in Ganesh puja and like weighting the options of being a social outcast or going with the arranged marriage and with the hope that like you’ll find someone cool.

6. I don’t like how Devi tries to reject her Indian culture and I really really hope they develop that next season or something and get her to find a balance. Because at the end of that season she did get a good talking to about trying to be Indian enough or too Indian and finding that balance but it doesn’t feel like she’s finding that balance and her being jealous of the other Indian girl does not bode well for me. 

ALSO THEY FUCKING MISSED OUT SO BAD. You make a series about a Tamil American girl and you don’t name drop any famous stars. Thala Thalapathy, Superstar??? VJS?? Surya? Dhanush? Nobody? Why? Like Devi doesn’t know them...makes sense. But like Kamala is from town right? She has to have carried some of that. Like that scene when she called them for a movie right? Why not name drop some famous ass classic like Baasha or Sachein or Roja? Like a cool nod to the Tamil kids out there watching this series to see parts of their culture and language included. Like even the soundtrack and songs have no Tamil songs? Like not even one for the heck of it?? WHY? IS THAT NOT SO SO MUCH MISSED REPRESENTATION? Like typical Tamil things like making a beat out of random shit, Tamil kuthu songs, Typical Tamil mega serials, food and enjoying food together. Like why wasn’t the food stated or name dropped. 

Personally, NHIE was really really really white palatable and it didn’t really get it into any roots of our culture especially for a girl struggling to find roots as in where she fits. Like you gotta show both cultures and let the audience and Devi figure out where she fits. If you show long Netflix shows like Pretty little liars, show alternatives like mega serials such as Chitti or Mudiyaathu Karuppu or Mettioli? Or if you wanna be more modern name drop Tamil webseries’s? If you wanna show English pop hits, show Tamil album songs and kuthu beats. IF YOU WANNA REPRESENT, THEN ACTUALLY REPRESENT. Don’t pull this generic ass BS on me!

5. I hope the lack of tamil culture in the series gets corrected next season somehow. I don’t have ANY ANY faith that it will. But I can be hopeful. Also I lowkey like that Devi has like a “rival” of another Indian girl. I don’t like that is is rivalry cause brown sisters gotta support each other and that’s sort of been the general motto from where I’m from. But like I get why and it would make complete sense. 

I really really hope that Aneesha is like super super Indian. Proud of her culture and brings a lot of her culture and its facets to discussions and not afraid to make her culture a focal point of herself.  It would be a really good foil to Devi and it might spark some thought into her and accepting or at least recognizing the cool shit about being Tamil. I wanna see that mainly cause I used to be lowkey ashamed for having a strong accent when I speak cause I was made fun of and I didn’t like having different lunches or listening to different music and not being part of the more Western culture. But I learnt to ignore that and became like 3000 times more proud of being Tamil and wore like traditional clothes to school, ranging from kurti tops over jeans at first and eventually wearing full on chudidaars and saris (saris to proms at least, I couldn’t wear a sari on a daily, half sari probably, sari would be hard). Bringing traditional sweets and food and distributing them to anyone who would ask and trading lunches.  Please let me see a brown kid who is proud to be brown and straight up in your face about it at times. 

(Unrelated but to Tamil/Indian ppl who had other Indian/Tamil kids in your school like was trading lunches or like sharing lunches common? Like its a pretty common Tamil thing to do and I brought that culture of taking some of everybody’s lunch and giving everybody a part of mine everywhere I went. But like was that a thing? )

[pinuphead]

Severin backstory bits and pieces while I type up all my disjointed thoughts on cenobites: Can't think of any CWS that apply maybe war and torture being mentioned, and trauma from these experiences.

-Angelique and Severin are technically cousins but because cenobite generations are raised by selected caregivers rather than their parents (with exceptions) and are all lumped in together the distinction between siblings and cousins doesn't exist. So Angelique and Sev consider themselves brother and sister and refer to themselves as such in human languages (cenobite tongue has its own word for it).

In addition to this caring responsibilities are shared based on skill rather than bond to the child, so often cenobite parents won't actually raise their children, and instead the kids will be looked after by uncles or grandparents. For this reason the cenobite term for parent is based on role rather than bond and can be applied to lots of people. And keep in mind that due to cenobites bring immortal cenobite families ended up being FUCKING HUGE! like 200 people at a time.

-I like to think that queer identity is very very normalized in cenobite society, so Severin realised he was a trans man thanks to there being lots of trans cenobites around him, and this was fully supported by his family and community. So he was able to socially transition at a young age and then physically transitioned after being summoned into a human body by humans with support from his family.

-Severin was apprenticed to an artist and sculptor before joining the war effort, so while Angelique was apprenticed to the Hellpriest of the time and learned how to interact with humans, Severin was just drawing and playing songs on his string instrument collection.

He used to sculpt figures and dolls for himself and other people. Rip Severin you would've loved stuffed animals.

He was once asked to paint murals of the Hellpriests and that was his most famous and most praised work. But he definitely struggled with time management and stressed about it 24/7 bc has the cenobite equivalent of autism.

-Severin is a polyglot and speaks Russian, French, English and Cenobite tongue (last one is the language of cenobites). But he spoke an earlier version of these languages bc of being alive in the like… 15th century so Pinhead could not understand him when they first met despite both of them speaking English. Poor Severin imagine coming home after being a prisoner of war for a century and the first thing you have to do is relearn every language you speak bc of linguistic development.

-Severin was drafted into the Hell War in the middle of a mission on Earth (his mission was art related like… making a cursed painting or something) so he had to go fight. Severin was a pretty good soldier but got in trouble a lot because of not obeying orders properly when they didn't make sense to him. Most of his family who were sent to war with him were sadly killed in front of him as the war went on for many decades. It only ended when the border between the hells was sealed shut, trapping him and any other survivors inside. He was then captured as a prisoner of war and imprisoned in one of the torture orbs from the comics.

He was sent back home through a smaller portal that was discovered centuries later. The demons in the second hell decided to try and open up peace negotiations with the cenobites, so him and the other survivors were released during Pinhead's time as a political tactic.

-Severin was VERY torn up when he went home like he was almost in pieces. Half of his face was missing and he couldn't speak because of damage to his vocal cords and throat. He had to have most of his body and skin reconstructed, hence all the threads and needles bc he basically has none of his original skin or flesh and customises his body a lot. He always gives himself top surgery scars though.

-Severin returned home after Angelique went back to hell and became a new cenobite, so after Hellraiser 3 and 4 basically, so in the 90s. He struggles a lot with cultural shock over how much his home had changed, as well as PTSD and grief over his war experiences. But he's also excited about all the changes and all the new technology and is finally able to go back to art and like ... Decorates a lot of the labyrinth so it's not just white walls. But it's not enough because he will never be the same again and is haunted by what happened.

[r0zyp0zy0zy]

Hi!! I’m new to the Haikyuu fandom but Kageyama is my favorite so far!! Can you do numbers 20 and 24 with him please? Thank you in advance! 🧡🖤

Haikyuu!! Prompt list trial

HQ!! Prompt list

Thanks for requesting! I’m also fairly new to the Haikyuu fandom <3

The other requests are in the works, they might just take a bit longer bc I’m swamped with school stuff! Happy reading :D

Words: 2400+

Warnings: possible weight trigger?, Kags calls you heavy 😔

Pairing: Kageyama Tobio x FEM!reader

Prompt(s): 20- "I didn't mean it like that, I was trying to... tease you. That's what you do, right? When you have feelings?" & 24- "don't leave me here with her/them!"

The mind of Kageyama was mostly a mystery; his skull hollow with a few volleyballs bouncing around. He wasn't the smartest to say the least— Have you seen his report card?

So, when his heart pumped 10x faster than when he was on the court when he was around you, he only thought he wasn't feeling well that day. Next was his voice; constantly stuttering for no apparent reason when he was chatting with you. Kageyama had not a clue what was going on with him until Tanaka spoke up for him, asking how long Kageyama was going to wait before asking you out. The boy in question just wrinkled his nose and went to toss another ball to an energetic redhead.

Nishinoya and Tanaka cornered the unsuspecting setter in the club room, trapping him with their looming auras. Kageyama only stared at them quizzically for a moment before a phone was shoved in his face.

"Look, dude, check out this article!" Tanaka grinned, raising his eyebrows.

"Is it about volleyball?" Kageyama asked as he threw on his uniform.

"No—"

"—don't wanna look at it then," Kageyama interrupted his upperclassmen, grabbing his bag and hoisting it over his shoulder.

"C'mon bro!" Argued Nishinoya, blocking the door with pure physics, clinging to the frame, "we just wanna help you get with y/n! This Wiki article will save you from your lack of social awareness around her."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kageyama mumbled, glancing at the phone pointed at him. It was titled: 'How to Flirt with Girls'. Now, he wasn't necessarily considering reading it, but it was tempting. "Why d'you want me to flirt with y/n? She's my friend."

"She's your crush is what she is. Are you really too dense to realize your feelings?" Tanaka said. "Actually- yeah. You are. Here, I'll text you the link."

Later that night when Kageyama was trying to sleep, his mind wandered in circles thinking about his feelings towards you. He didn't think he had time to develop a crush, but here he was pulling up his phone to check the link his upperclassman sent him. He squinted at the bright WikiHow screen, and scrolled down to read the captions. He glanced at the first three options, not really reading (or caring) about 'don't forget to smile!' and 'don't cross your arms'.

The only title that caught his eye was 'Tease Her'. Kageyama knew how to do that; it was easy. He did it with Hinata all the time! He blushed just thinking about making you flustered, a wish that he didn't know he had until tonight. He didn't bother with reading the rest of the article, feeling confident in himself that he knew what to do. He threw his phone back onto his nightstand and cuddled into his bedsheets, grinning wildly.

Tobio didn't know what he was getting into when he asked Tanaka and Nishinoya about the skill of teasing. He had only wanted a few pointers from the 'pros', and some advice on what to do after you were charmed by him.

"Oh ho ho!" Tanaka said excitedly, waving his hands around as he ranted. "Make sure to insult her playfully, but always tell her how beautiful she is afterwards! Oh, and don't forget about the lingering touches! Girls love that stuff, trust me."

Kageyama nodded along, turning to Nishinoya, "don't forget to smile! Girls love sweet smiles~."

The raven haired boy was practically buzzing with anticipation as he waited at the table he usually ate at with you, desperate to try out his new flirting techniques. He smiled at you, something he usually did but he tried making it brighter. He felt his chest bubble when you raised your eyebrows at him, giving a cute smile in return.

You were wondering what the hell was up with Kageyama. You knew he wasn't the best at smiling, but when he flashed his teeth it was just downright creepy. You tried not to laugh as you sat beside him, pulling out your lunch to sit on the table in front of you. A huff left your lips as Tobio snatched away your bento, raising it above his head with a playful smirk.

"Kageyama-kun," you raised a brow playfully. "You want me to starve or something?"

"Just watching your weight," he replied, grin still plastered on his face.

You deadpanned at him, giving him a scowl, "don't say stuff like that, it makes me feel like shit."

"You're still p-pr-er, P-p-pretty in my eyes," your friend stammered, his stance wavering. You lazily tried to grab your lunch back, but Tobio's long arms kept it out of your reach.

You sighed, giving him a teasing grin before reaching out and tickling his armpit. He choked out a laugh and your bento fell out of his hand, and you caught it. Kageyama gave you a frustrated pout and watched as you ate your food.

"Serves you right for calling me fat," you said through a mouthful, cringing at your manners, "that wasn't very nice."

"You're only heavy because of your muscle," Kageyama said, propping a fist on his cheek, "you'd be good at serving." You looked at him quizzically, trying to figure out what was up with him today.

"Y-your clothes look cool today," Tobio offered, trying to keep up with his 'flirtatious' act.

"... dude I literally wear the same thing every day. Y'know, my uniform," now you were really confused. Was he messing with you? Or was he just being his usual weird self?

A blush creeped onto his face and he looked away, burring his face in his own lunch. You ate in an odd silence, occasionally catching Kageyama taking glances at you.

"Y-you're, erm, very..." Tobio trailed off, refusing to look at you. His face was red with embarrassment and he stared at his empty lunchbox, tapping his fingers on the table rhythmically.

"Go on~," you pressed, glaring holes in his head.

Kageyama perked up suddenly, putting an arm around your shoulders, "you look heavy, let me hold it for you. Wait—."

"Ok, dude. What's up with you?!" You were getting pissed now, and you quickly packed up your bento. "I'm going to my class early."

Before he could stop you, you peeled his arm from your body and sped walked away into a bathroom. Kageyama blushed in frustration, cursing at his stupid twisted tongue. He couldn't believe he messed up the simplest pick up line, the one that Nishinoya had taught him. Maybe Tsukishima was right, he was going to scare you off before he could make a proper move. He groaned angrily into his hands and shoved his lunch container into his bag, huffing down the hall to get to his class.

You sunk down into your seat, trying not to let the interaction with Kageyama rule your mind. Was was up with him today? You thought. He was usually odd, but not this odd. You laid out your things in front of you and organized them to distract yourself. You slightly jumped at the sound of the first bell, and you heard the hallway outside start to get louder with footsteps and laughing chatter.

"Hi y/n-san!" Yamaguchi said, and you looked up at him.

"Hey," you mumbled.

"What's got you all grouchy?" Tsukishima chuckled as he sat by his desk beside yours.

"I'm sorry," you sighed, "Kageyama-kun was just being a dick during lunch."

"What'd he do?" Yamaguchi asked, sitting in his seat behind you. He gathered his notebook and pencil case.

"He was being really weird. Er, weirder than normal," you started. "He tried holding me back from my lunch and he basically called me fat. But then he said I was heavy because I had so much muscle? Which doesn't even make sense, and then he said I'd be good at setting which is— I mean ok?"

Tsukishima snickered from beside you as he opened his binder, and Yamaguchi blushed a little at his teammate's actions.

"And then he told me that my clothes looked nice. My uniform clothes, that I wear every day," you puzzled almost to yourself, forgetting that your friends were listening to your rant. "Oh, he also said like, I dunno, a pickup line or something? He said that 'I looked heavy and he wanted to hold 'it'' whatever the hell he was supposed to mean by that."

Tsukki had to shove a hand over his mouth to keep himself from combusting into boisterous laughter, Yamaguchi doing the same. You frowned and rolled your eyes, turning to look at the board as the second bell rang.

"The idiot's got a crush on you," Tsukishima spilled, chest shaking from the aftershocks of his laughter.

"W-wha—," you started.

"—Tsukki!" Yamaguchi interrupted. "You told me that you weren't gonna mess with Kageyama-kun's relationships!"

Tsukishima just shrugged before turning to the board, your eyes bulging at him. "He fucking what—."

"I know!" Tsukishima smirked, "I didn't think he had any emotion for anything but volleyball."

You opened your mouth to reply, but got cut off by your teacher. You frowned as you set up your notes, messily writing your name and the date. Kageyama's actions now made sense to you, knowing how awkward he is in expressing his feelings.

After class as you walked down the hall, Tsukishima sported a sly grin. You eyed him quizzically, not trusting the look in his eyes. He smirked harder at your glance and chuckled.

"I have a plan," the blonde said, pushing up his glasses. "I'm gonna shove Kageyama in the equipment room with you."

"And so I get a say in this at all?" You pressed, glaring playfully at him.

"Well, what do you say?" He asked.

"I say yes," you said, Yamaguchi facepalming at your response.

You followed the two boys down to the gym where they practiced, and waited by the door until Yamaguchi gave you the clear that no one was there yet except for the third years. Tsukishima led you to the double doors of the equipment room and you took a step inside the dark room, turning on your flashlight.

"If you hear an even three knocks, open the door immediately," you ordered, shaking slightly. "Incase he does something... weird," you faltered slightly, and Yamaguchi nodded quickly.

"Whatever," the tall blonde in front of you said, "just get in before he comes in the gym— oh, he's here."

The door was closed suddenly, and you were left alone with only your phone flashlight to protect you. You took a deep breath as you heard voices outside the heavy doors, trying to regulate your heartbeat. What were you doing? What was your plan after he gets trapped inside? The doors opened and filled the room with light for a brief moment before the space was consumed in darkness once again.

"Hey!" You heard Kageyama yell beside you, pounding on the door, "what the hell?!"

You laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and he whipped around to slap you away, faltering when he realized it was you. His eyes widened and he was glad you couldn't see the blush that flourished on his face. Kageyama was silent for a few moments before hammering at the door again.

"Guys! Don't leave me here with her!" He panicked when you pulled his hands away from the doors, and he went quiet.

"Calm down, Kageyama-kun," you stifled a giggle. "You're only here so you can apologize to me."

"W-what?" He stuttered, body going stiff.

"Just say sorry for offending me," you shrugged. His eyes were glued to the floor, hands still trapped by your grip.

"I- I thought... I didn't mean it like that, I was trying to... tease you. That's what you do, right? When you have feelings?" Kageyama's blush crawled across his whole face all the way to the tips of his ears and he squeezed his eyes shut, terrified of what your next words were going to be.

"So you do have a crush on me," you pondered, loosening your hold on his wrists. The boy in front of you snapped his hands to his sides and anxiously squeezed his fists.

"How...?" Kageyama held his breath, as if afraid of your answer.

"Hmm, a little birdie told me~," you teased, running a finger down his chest. His breath hitched in his throat and a shiver ran down his spine when he felt your hot breath whisper onto his ear, "I'm still waiting for your apology."

"I'm s-sor-sorry for what I s-said at lunch today..." Kageyama stammered, rubbing his arm awkwardly.

"I accept your apology!" You smiled and went in for a hug, crushing his arms to his sides. "Meet me after practice near the vending machines~," you murmured playfully.

"—what are you guys doing?!" Daichi's muffled yell came through the door. "You can't just trap people in there!"

Kageyama tensed and he tried to pull away, but you held him closer. The bright light from the gym poured into the small room, illuminating all of the equipment and yourselves.

"Are you oka— oh," Daichi cut himself off, eyes widening at the sight of a girl hugging his underclassman. You peaked at him over Kageyama's shoulder and gave a shy smile, pulling away slowly.

"Bye, Tobio-chan," you adjusted your bag and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "See you after your practice."

The group of boys watched in silence as you skipped your way out the gym door, too shocked to say anything. Kageyama's face grew hotter and he reached up to touch where you kissed him. He felt like he was going to pass out.

"Kageyamaaaaa!!" Hinata yelled, shaking his friend viciously, "was that your girlfriend?! Why didn't you tell us you had one?! She's so pretty! Why does she even like you?!"

"Chill out Hinata-kun," Daichi said sternly, pulling the redhead away by the back of his shirt. "Kageyama-kun, be ready for practice in five."

Tobio nodded slowly, his hand still on his cheek in bewilderment. He was too excited to tell Hinata off, completely blocking out his friend. He couldn't wait for practice to end.

[descentivity]

Depression, Trauma, (and Most Importantly,) My Thoughts on Hello Charlotte EP1 & 2

Eating has been difficult for me for as long as I remember. It started off as an aversion to food, in favour of spending my time more efficiently on what my dumb little mind viewed as more important: Homework, video games.

Over time, it turned into anorexia. I had already gotten used to eating just under 500 calories a day, and my depression took my poor habits and twisted them into a cowardly and slow attempt at suicide.

On my road to recovery, I’ve found that years of poor eating choices have lead to my body struggling to process food. I have to eat at a painstakingly slow pace lest my stomach turns against me, and the smell of food is sometimes enough to diminish my appetite altogether. My bowel movements are, for lack of a better word, a shitshow.

This brings me to today, the 10th of August, 2021. 6 or so years of barely eating enough to survive later, I’m setting the world record for the slowest consumption of a fillet o’ fish in the history of mankind. 

In my absolute boredom and unfathomable stomach pain, ManlyBadassHero’s playthrough of some random horror game (I can’t remember the name) appears in my YouTube recommended, and I’m reminded of a horror game I bought on sale on Steam, the last of a trilogy. In all honesty, I only bought the game because it was dirt cheap and one of my sisters’ names is Charlotte. I was too horrified at the time to process the story nor play the previous two games, so I did a quick achievement run and left it at that. I was certainly very confused as I had no idea who any of the characters or what any of the concepts were, but the gore had me too mortified to go and find out myself. 

A year later, I’m looking the trilogy up on ManlyBadassHero’s YouTube channel, and decide to start from the beginning of his Hello Charlotte journey, in 2016.

Hello Charlotte EP1

I’m going to be completely honest with you, the first game really didn’t resonate with me too well. It was a cute, quirky, RPG Maker horror game, with two loveable main characters and an interesting world. However, with context from the third game, the events felt too self-isolated and inconsequential. Felix and Charlotte are in a little self-contained TV world created by a fictional race called Pythia - creatures with 3 or 4 eyes that can create miniature dimensions, once brought into a hivemind by an “Oracle,” which seems to be some sort of god. They all seem to be falling apart and have taken a horrific turn as most of the Pythia have been “executed,” and those who haven’t have either gone mad or into hiding in their own bubbles of (albeit temporary) safety.

The ending of the game is somewhat misleading, too. Once Charlotte and Felix escape the TV world by having Charlotte merge with the Oracle itself, the game almost plays off the previous events like they were all a story made up by a young and imaginative Charlotte. Did they happen at all? Is she a reliable narrator or point of view to begin with? (Spoiler alert, she is not.) The explanation for it all seems to be that Charlotte herself is a schizophrenic, though the legitimacy of this is brought into question in the third game, which I will talk about later. Altogether, the game didn’t bring out many strong emotions in me, and I was starting to zone out as I moved on to the second game’s playthrough.

Hello Charlotte EP2

What struck me as odd in the second game is that while the first game seemed to bring Charlotte out of her own strange, black-and-white world and back into reality, we’ve found out that she’s right back where we started last game. A black-and-white world, inhabited by her imaginary friends. Aliens, gods, and the like. However, Charlotte’s seemingly made-up world feels more alive this time. I’m not sure if this is the consequence of the game developer improving their skills or an intentional detail, but even more characters are introduced, and previously shallow tenants of Charlotte’s home are given more depth. The hazmat-suit wearing aliens have faces, personalities and whole backstories attached to them, now. Charlotte has a best friend at school named Anri, who has a obsessive crush on her. She’s friends with a bullying victim named C with horrible germaphobia, who has almost identical struggles to her (more on those struggles later.)

What also surprised me is the continuity between the first and second game. For some reason, I thought that this Charlotte would be starting from scratch, completely oblivious to the fate of the first game’s iteration. However, this concept only seems to be used in the third game, so I guess I was simply mislead. This game, in fact, takes place 3 years after the first, and the Oracle still lives on within Charlotte’s conscious. However, it’s a dying god, on its last leg. It had already been dying during the time of the last few Pythia, but it had used the last of its strength to free Felix and Charlotte from their world. As the Oracle’s health declines, so does Charlotte’s mortal body.

Unlike the first game, most of the themes in this game hit way too close to home. The feeling of second-hand helplessness when someone you barely knew ends their own life. Anri’s obsessive and outright manipulative lesbian crush on Charlotte, bordering on bullying. The schooltime harrassment and trauma Charlotte underwent. The fear and dangers of social interaction. Feeling unlawfully punished by your school teachers for seemingly nothing at all. Depression, self harm, and the primal urge to escape from it. Getting roped into others’ mental health, until both of your issues converge into a disgusting amalgamation of the need but severe lack of therapy and a break from it all. Delusions of what could’ve been and the possible, yet near impossible future ahead. Looking back on everything you’ve ever done and regretting every second of it.

While I ticked off the trauma presented to me on a silver platter in the form of a fucking RPG Maker game like a twisted bucket list, I found myself relating more and more to not only Charlotte, but the students around her. Scarlett, whose life was so perfect that nobody had even thought about her possible mental issues until it was far too late. Anri, who would lay down her life for a girl who simply doesn’t feel the same way. C, who desperately wanted to escape from reality by any means possible.

An interesting fact about Hello Charlotte is that there are numerous omnipotent beings amongst its cast. They aren’t shy about providing very in-depth character analysis to Charlotte, and in turn, to the puppeteer (I suppose now is a good time to inform those who are unfamiliar with the series that the puppeteer refers to a species, character, and the player, all at once. Charlotte has a puppeteer controlling her by the name of Seth. You are/are controlling Seth as the player. Capiche? Capiche.)

What this meant for me watching Manly’s playthrough was the feeling of two gods (in this game, at least) peering right into my soul, analysing characters that reflected my exact experiences and even my personality during my school days. I learned and realised things about myself that I simply hadn’t known before. Just like Charlotte, I’m simply looking for direction in life, and I’m too afraid to act without instructions. I found myself bullied, manipulated and abandoned by someone who simply wanted my affections, and only learned to miss them when they were gone. Like Anri, my desperation for love and approval from an individual in turn lead to anger and resentment for them. Like both Charlotte and C, I eventually turned to hurting myself to make all the pain go away, refusing help from others and developing a shell of false optimism and naivety to forget about the damage I had dealt to my body, personality and relationships.

As much as I hate to admit it on my little obscure Tumblr blog with 0 followers and 0 traction, I still struggle with these things. I have no direction in life, and wander aimlessly, hoping for one of my offshot attempts at content creation to take off. I find myself missing the girl who emotionally abused me to hell and back every day. I resent another girl for never feeling the same way I felt about her. I still don’t take care of myself, and spend every day in a state of denial about my physical decline and sickliness. I’m so incompetent emotionally that I spend days ignoring my own boyfriend, starving him of the proper relationship that he deserves all because of how broken, fragmented and distant my own mind is.

Hello Charlotte EP2 has four endings. All four of them, in my eyes, are bad.

In the first, C and Charlotte overdose together, leaving their mortal realm to become gods. They choose to ignore and forget the pains of their mortal lives, and live the rest of their godly lives in ignorant bliss. Do I want to forget about my depression and trauma? Learn nothing, and forget about everything that made me who I am today? Or worse even, do I dare take the plunge into “godhood,” and leave this mortal plane to end my suffering altogether?

In the second, Charlotte discovers that C isn’t who she thinks he is, and she finds him without a soul. Alive, but empty. Charlotte could not save him. Consumed by grief, she ascends and becomes a god, consuming the entire world around her. After all is said and done, she realizes her mistake. All of her friends are gone, C is still empty and unresponsive, and now she is alone. Sometimes, I feel as though I’ve already gone through this ending, many times over. Countless times I’ve let my depression become all-consuming and take over my life. I’ve pushed so many people away and hurt so many more, and for what? I have nothing to gain from every fit of depression, and the consequences make it seem nothing more but a selfish attempt to make myself feel better.

In the third, Charlotte is the only one who dies. In her last moments, the Oracle comforts her, like a mother cradling her child. They embrace, and say goodbye to each other, as Charlotte’s own life was the only thing keeping the dying god alive. At this point, I’ve started to draw parallels between the Oracle and depression. Depression isn’t always a horrible thing that beats you down and keeps you from being truly happy. Sometimes, wallowing in my own sadness and depression would be the only thing that keeps you sane, stable, and calm. The feeling of hopelessness really is bittersweet, and in desperate times, goes hand-in-hand with acceptance of one’s circumstance. Oftentimes, I find that this is the most realistic way I’ll go out. One day, I may just accept depression, and succomb to it. There may not be a struggle at all. Rather, a quiet, submissive hum, which will fade away into silence.

In the fourth and final ending, Charlotte and C die alongside each other. After her death, Charlotte confronts the Oracle, and wishes to save everyone, and for everyone to be unhappy. Of course, this is where the classic saying: “Be careful what you wish for” comes in. Because of her wish, everyone’s soul, what makes them individual and unique, is erased. After all, no one can suffer if they cannot think at all. In some ways, emptiness is pure bliss. This once again goes back to the bittersweetness of depression. The sheer emptiness it may bring on, at times, is bliss. Feeling nothing isn’t always a bad thing. It’s a way to cope with the horrors of the world. To remember nothing at all is such a tempting yet unattainable solution that I can’t say I haven’t longed for in the near or distant past. Charlotte, of course, is distraught that her friends are all gone, their identities and souls lost forever. Following this, she has one request to make of another god, the observer. She wishes to be killed, as all of her actions have lead to nothing but pain for others and herself. The observer, however, refuses this offer. Instead, he comforts her and takes her hand. They go on a journey together. He suggests that one day, she’ll learn to control her power, and she can recreate the world and her friends. As they leave, Charlotte reflects on her hopes and dreams for the journey. She hopes to learn to be kind, and not hurt others. She wants to change her ways, and become an honest, good person. Charlotte, slowly but surely, is on the road to recovery.

Putting the unsettling sequel to this game aside, maybe I could learn a little bit from Charlotte.

[we-are-inevitable]

Okay headcannons! More will definitely come tommorow because I'm most likely going to watch the movie for a refresher but I like the amount I have so far so, here:

- Davey and Jack are adjusting to a new life at the same time. Jack is more adjusting to not running and stealing all his life and Davey is just,, trying to move on from the fact he was lied to his whole life (yeah, he's gonna have some trust issues).

- Les becomes attached to Davey right away? Like sure, he never knew his brother, but he immediately becomes comfortable with the idea. And Davey takes a little to come around (poor Les thinks for a while that Davey hates him - which couldn't be further from the truth) to the idea of not only having a little brother, but also a sister.

- Because the magic hair portion is cut in this au, there's no set reason for Snyder to take Davey. I was thinking out of pure greed because Davey was the air to the throne, of course Snyder would want that power over the royal family.

- Not necessarily a headcannon but the whole "day in the village" scene with Javid... I love them

- Like the ending of the movie, Jack does ask Davey to marry him a few times. After a few years, of course. Jack knows that when Davey feels ready, he'll say yes so he doesn't bring it up too often but he does ask a few times. I don't know, It's cute. I love them.

- Esther and Mayer are the best with Davey. They're just,, really understanding and let him adjsut to royal life on his own terms because, again, kidnapped and lied to his whole life - while still giving him the responsibilities he has as a prince.

Again, more are on the way, I just need to refresh my memory.

BRO THE WAY THESE ALMOST PERFECTLY ALIGN WITH @tarantulas4davey AND I’S THOUGHTS ON THE AU

Jack and Davey are two sides of the same coin.

David has been stuck all his life; Jack has been on the run for years... it’s very strange.

Let’s talk about Jack for a moment. From his basic, natural instinct, he wants to run. That’s what he’s known all his life; he’s used to rugged lifestyles and danger and trouble. But, from a survivalist standpoint? The castle is heaven. He doesn’t have to worry about injury, or sickness, or, hell, running out of food- he has all of this comfort at his disposal, and he’s going to make the most of it... even if he constantly feels like all of this is going to be taken from him in an instant.

Now, onto David. As we know, he’s been stationary his entire life; he hasn’t had his adventures yet. On one hand, this means he’s very well equipped to just... stay in the palace. He’s used to the sedentary lifestyle; it doesn’t bother him much. But, on the other hand... even when he’s in the castle, he longs for the outside. He longs for the chance to have fun, and get hurt, and learn from his mistakes. He longs for adventure and danger and mischief.

Basically, what I’m getting at is that:

Jack wants a taste of the life that David has always had, and vice versa for David.

NEXT:

oh my god LES

i’m just gonna paste what chandler and i said in the discord:

JAC: les is so sad because he just found out he has a big brother !! but his big brother doesn't really want anything to do with him, at least not yet

CHANDLER:  just- he wants to be a good big brother but he’s genuinely only ever been taken care of and he doesn’t actually know anything about the world, so it’s not like he can teach les until he learns and it makes him anxious that les won’t want to know him if he can’t be a g o o d big brother like everyone else has

JAC: OH FUCK AWW

omg but then like. les is the one to help davey learn new things; maybe not academic things, but social things, because les is definitely the social butterfly of the three of them

SO YES WE BOTH LOVE THE CONCEPT OF LES GETTING ATTACHED

NEXT:

so i kinda put some thought into this and while i DO agree that snyder’s main reason for kidnapping davey would be greed, i also think that it would serve as some form of revenge.

Let’s say that, in the kingdom of Corona, King Mayer passes a law that has a rougher effect on the lower class. Not necessarily a bad law, just one that affects them.

And, well... Snyder is lower class. And Snyder takes it personally.

And Snyder is determined to make Mayer and Esther’s lives that much more painful.

NEXT: 

okay so me and chandler kinda talked about this one !!

it involves sarah, so, bear with me:

David is prepared to take the throne until, on a technicality, he’s told that, if he takes the throne, he’s unable to marry Jack.

This is because the kingdom’s advisors choose who the new ruler is to marry, as to uphold the ‘integrity of the kingdom,’ and since Jack is quite literally an ex-con, it doesn’t bode well for their relationship.

So, when David is told this, he gives up his chance of ruling the kingdom and passes the torch onto Sarah, who has been training for this moment since she was a young girl.

SIDE NOTE: we also discussed Sarah being very cold and calculated toward David at first; she’s been training to be Queen for years, because she was always believed to be the eldest, and since no one knew that David was alive. But, when David comes home, everyone realizes that, oh... David is the eldest, by no more than seven minutes.

So, on that technicality... Sarah would have been training her entire life for nothing if David were to actually take the throne.

This does cause a rift in their relationship (or lack thereof), and it isn’t mended until David reveals to her that he’s not going to rule Corona, because 1) she’s WAY more qualified and, 2) he doesn’t want to give up his relationship with Jack, the man he wants to marry when the time is right (even if it takes a few years).

FINALLY:

Esther and Mayer are... trying their best.

While discussing the AU, Chandler and I came up with this fact:

David, who is normally very levelheaded and calm, would have a lot of problems with emotional regulation due to his past of being lied to and mistreated and, because of this, he would take it out on Esther and Mayer from time to time.

They understand, of course; David is still working through his trauma, and he is certainly not the son he would be had he been allowed to grow up in the castle, but he’s trying and that’s all they can ask of him.

There are moments, though, when they’re out of their element. They’re tasked with helping their eighteen year old son learn the basics of royal life and human development and social skills all while trying to run a kingdom; of course they would be met with a few snags.

Sometimes they rush him into things, and sometimes they make false assumptions about what he knows and doesn’t know, but at the end of the day, they’re trying to be the parents they’ve never been able to be for him, and he’s eternally grateful for the fact that they... aren’t giving up on him yet.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THESE AHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!! I’M IN TEARS OVER THIS

[angelic-serenade]

Alastor + disaster cook! S/O

headcanons

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

gif, original work and characters do not belong to me

you could not cook to save your life

any attempt at cooking would result in certain failure in the best case scenario and 5.4 magnitude earthquake damage in the worst

sure, you could make edible pasta and if you really put your best efforts into it, acceptable omelette too

but anything past that level of complexity was simply out of your league, a lost cause to put it mildly

don't you even think about making a cake, that shit's dangerous

as they say: as above so below

when you landed in Hell and found yourself joining the Happy Hotel soon after, you came to find out your culinary skills had not magically improved

which is quite ironic since Charlie had made you head chef of the hotel

the string of curses which had left your lips upon hearing the news had been legendary, even for Hell

you adored the demon princess with your whole heart (or whatever was left of it anyway), bUT REALLY CHARLIE? YOU DO NOT GIVE A GUN TO A CHILD AND EXPECT CASUALTIES NOT TO HAPPEN

at this point you were certain she was subconsciously auto-sabotaging

either way, you didn't have the heart to tell her no, so you decided to put your heart and soul into trying to learn how to properly cook, which didn't turn out to be the ideal choice of words since you were in Hell and your soul was probably rotten to the core

at least, nobody could say you hadn't tried your damn best

and hey! some days your cooking hadn't even been completely sickening

you decided to stick to easy, “safe” dishes though, you know, just to be sure

so pasta and eggs were definitely a thing

a constant and repetitive thing to be precise

you were trying your best, okay? nobody in your place with your limited set of skills would have taken the job, but you did and you deserved recognition for that feat alone

or a fucking donkey hat for your skyrocketing dumbness levels

things were not so bad at first

both Charlie and Vaggie were very supportive, each one of them in their own way - even though you had totally seen Charlie trying to swallow pure unadulterated fear that one time you had announced you wanted to try to cook something more elaborate

Angel Dust on the other hand... hadn't been as considerate as to lie to your face about what he thought of your cooking

"fuck me doll, this shit's disgusting"

*insert the I don't have friends they disappoint me vine here*

Vaggie had proceeded to give Angel quite the earful while Charlie tried her best to cheer you up

you went full hermit mode on them for two days after that

you were proud of yourself, handling criticism so well

anyway, the cycle kept repeating, with the only difference that most days Angel would grab something to eat outside of the hotel and join you during meals only to blankly stare at the plates and silvery

Charlie had tried to shield you from the truth, but you weren't that stupid

you respected Angel's choice, really, you did, and you had decided to be the bigger person among the two

that's why you began to put a lil bit of laxative into his portions whenever he decided to grace your efforts and actually eat your "disgusting cooking"

y’know just to spicy things up a little

at least now he had a valid reason to complain

with the whole fiasco on live TV and the sudden and suspicious appearence of the one and only Radio Demon at your doorstep, however, things started going haywire

Alastor's presence was eeirly demanding and unsettlingly charmimg at the same time

so it was only natural for you to gravitate the fuck away from him whenever you could

you always acted politely, greeting him whenever you bumped into him through the corridors of the hotel, but you only went as far as to appear courteous because you didn't want for him to go Hannibal Lecter on you. thanks, no thanks

“and what can you do my feminine fellow?”

“I can suck your dick!”

you had snorted a bit at that which immediately shifted the strawberry pimp's attention to yourself

“and what about you, pretty dame? I take it you're in charge of the kitchens around here?”

dressed in your chef attire, you were going to meekly answer him, but before you could, roaring laughter erupted in the room. it belonged to the one and only slutty spider you found oh so irritating

in the fraction of seconds, Alastor snapped his neck at an unnatural angle to stare at the spider with a strained smile on his face

needless to say, the cursed image would forever haunt your traumatized psyche

“hasn't your mother taught you it is rude to interrupt a conversation which you have no part in? that just won't do!”

static filled the air and you feared you were going to implode if the heavy pressure didn't lift off soon enough, so you decided to take action

“ugh... yes, I'm the head chef! but, well, I... could actually use some practice and proper training?”

you hated how uncertain you sounded, but Angel's comments and your own dissatisfaction with your culinary products made you quite self-conscious about your skills

“don't fret your pretty little head about it, my dear! I, for one, am a culinary connaisseur and wonderful chef, if I do say so myself. I'll be ecstatic to guide you through your training!”

how you'd be able to handle his booming voice during hours and hours of practice was your first and main concern, but you had never been one to refuse the chance to finally prove the people who had criticized you wrong *cough cough* Angel Dust

since that day, Alastor began to personally give you cooking lessons

he was exuberant and pretty sly when it came to veiled jabs about your dreadful cooking, but he really took his time to help you out

which you had been both grateful and suspicious about

“now, we can't have our future patrons starving to death, can we?”

he was strangely patient and an overall good teacher too (emphasis on overall)

he guided you step by step through each dish, simultaneously showing off his own flawless culinary skills

you hated that you daily found yourself boosting his already GIGANTIC ego, but you couldn't help it. you could only dream about reaching that level of artistry in cooking

he always came up with creative recipes to test your limits and cooked for you in order to make you more familiar with different tastes. his mother’s were your favorites, jambalaya being his one true specialty 

he had blindfolded you once and proceeded to present you with various samples of spices, oilments and all kinds of food so that you could acquaint yourself with the smells and flavors of the ingredients and figure out yourself which ones would best suit a certain dish

saying you were hesitant at first was an understatement, because you know? being completely at the mercy of a sadistic serial killer who had terrorized the seven circles of hell? not even being able to see him? not on your bucket list

he had tried to ease your nervousness with the whole “if I wanted to hurt anyone here, I would have done so already” thing, but it was getting kind of old pretty fast

“if I had been one to play with fire, I'd have joined a circus”

he found your sense of humor as endearing your sheer presence

(when he rolled up his sleeves to cook, you felt like you could catch fire any minute, you were a slut for strong skinny arms) 

yes, Alastor had always loved to show off his own impeccable skills but he unexpectedly found himself enjoying the moments spent in your company too

he relished in seeing you fail again and again, but he also admired the way you always managed to bring yourself back up to your feet each time

he had yet to fully understand if it was foolishness or stubbornness to guide your steps

either way, you turned out to be his favorite form of entertainment in the hotel!

no matter how many slights would he send your way, you'd always manage to find an appropriate remark that made his permanent smile stretch a little more in sheer amusement

“oh dear, this beef is so undercooked one could still hear the poor beast’s lament”

“the only noise I hear is the obnoxious ramblings of an arrogant boomer”

he wasn't technically a boomer but it was always so satisfying to irk him with terms he had no knowledge of

during your cooking lessons, when the only thing left to do with a dish was wait and pray for the best, you'd come to talk about everything and anything

he'd talk to you about his precious New Orleans as he remembered it and you'd fill him in on recent historical/social developments of your time

he always looked so taken when you shared with him that modern knowledge and it made you feel useful for a change

it was, dare you say it, almost adorable how he'd ask you countless questions about your home town, the catastrophes of the last century and had there been any other war since his death?

the topic switches almost made you dizzy though

once or twice, when the timing allowed, he'd even indulge in a musical show to pass time

on the days your mood soured because of a particularly complicated recipe or bad result, he'd drag you along and dance until you were so distracted by the absurdness of the circumstances that you forgot about your previous sadness

with time, his musical shows became more frequent as he realized you'd always offer him a genuine smile after his flashy performances

it was out of personal indulgence, not because he liked the way his music always seemed to cheer you up

he'd not been vocal about the way he tried to comfort you, but you were grateful nonetheless

the first time you managed to succesfully complete one of his complicated recipes, you had almost cried

“now, now deary, under my watchful eye, it was only a matter of time until you'd finally blossom into a fine cook!”

“Alastor can I... can I hug you?”

and how could he say no to such an adorable expression? he found himself stunned into silence, not being able to tell you yes either, therefore you slowly came closer as if trying not to scare a wild animal away

when Alastor passively stood before you, not moving away, you wrapped your arms around him

he really was such a dorky noodle

he didn't relax into the hug, but he kept still as you relished in the moment and let the pressure you had hoarded for months now loose

Alastor proceeded to show off your dish during dinner and even Angel Dust could do nothing but shut up and dig in

The all powerful Radio Demon was simply so proud of your progress - not that he doubted you'd prevail in the end, thanks to his expertise and guidance

from that moment onward things only got better and even if you didn't necessarily need Alastor's help anymore, neither of you ever mentioned going your separate ways

you were both secretly glad for the silent agreement

friendly banter and dad jokes were a daily occurrence and with your new-found confidence in the field, you'd always bite back showing off new delicious dishes instead than words

you still had trouble every now and then, but Alastor was always there to help you out

not that you'd ever hear the end of it if you actually asked him for help

“what was that, my darling? is the mightiest chef in Hell having trouble in Paradise?”

you had noticed however that he'd started sneaking glances your way more than usual lately and he also started following you around wherever you went in the hotel. he became your shadow both inside and outside of the kitchen

the attention soon became unnerving, even more so when you'd go in the kitchen only find a different flower on the counter each morning

you came to realize that Alastor's advances were rather old fashioned, but you would amuse the dork and yourself for a while before taking charge

gifts became an ordinary occurrence as well as praise and you preferred not to think about what praise could do to you when it came from Alastor

he enjoyed your reactions to his flattering words a little too much, he had to admit

you had had enough of his childish antics one day and you decided to finally put your plan into action

“Al, can you come here for one sec?”

he wasn't particularly fond of the nickname, but you just loved to get under his skin as much as he did when it came to you

“what can I do for you, my darling chef?”

“here, I have a gift for you”

he looked uncharacteristically unsure of what to do but slightly amused as well. in the end curiosity took the best of him and he finally decided to open the box you had handed to him rather unceremoniously

“what is this dear?”

the apron you had chosen was a perfect fit for your long boi

“read it, please”

“kiss the cook? well, if you ask me so nicely, I just might have to”

he then proceeded to peck your cheek and you swore you could have fainted right there and then by the sheer sweetness of the gesture

it hadn't exactly been what you had planned, but you weren't going to complain

your relationship was bound to be full of surprises apparently

[xiaomomowrites]

act IV

Genshin Impact | TartaLi/ZhongChi

Summary: It was the way Zhongli’s warm amber eyes suddenly were not as warm anymore. The way he looked at him with a piercing look, void of remorse, as he handed his gnosis over willingly to go on a whole tangent about how his “duties were done”. It was the way he turned and treated the precious traveler with the same amount of kindness and gentleness the Childe had received the previous night, with such ease; it was a look he thought was reserved only for him. It was the way he was able to turn back around, stare at Childe with an unreadable gaze, and walk away without so much of a goodbye.

Or, Zhongli and Childe finally have the conversation that was long overdue.

A/N: I’ve been playing genshin for roughly four or five months now, I can’t remember exactly when I started, but boy do I love it. No you don’t understand, I’m obsessed. But these two have been taking up room in my big brain, so I wanted to write for them. It’s been awhile since I wrote for pleasure so hopefully this is satisfactory :,) and tomorrow, I’m back to school, so I thought I’d enjoy my last day of freedom and post this today. Fun fact, I’m minoring in professional writing, so I’m hoping that it’ll improve my writing skills when I write for luxury, too. Anyway, this was a really fun piece for me to write and I hope you share the sentiment.

Also thank you guys for being so patient with our inactivity and just being such a chill audience to write for. Other social media platforms have become so...demanding haha. I appreciate y’all! Feel free to message us or talk to us about whatever :) -u.n.

Find this on AO3!

Spoiler alert: this fic does contain spoilers for the A New Star Approaches arc, so read at your own risk.

—

In Childe’s line of work, he is no stranger to betrayal.

Working as a Fatui Harbinger meant an unhealthy amount of fighting, betraying one person, deceiving another, and then on occasion, getting betrayed himself. It was all in a days’ work. Childe knew he would just have to roll out his neck and move on. He’s done it before, he can do it again. He would think that, after nineteen years of this grueling rinse and repeat, that he’d be able to tolerate a lot in the field. In fact, working with that wretched colleague of his, Scaramouche, and serving the Tsaritsa with a loyalty unmatched explicitly calls for the patience and tolerance of a saint.

Alas, Childe is the furthest thing from a saint. And still, Zhongli’s betrayal stung the most out of anyone else’s, the reason still unbeknownst to him. He tells himself that it’s because he had actually befriended the other man. That, unlike his other missions, he developed more of a friendship with Zhongli than he has with anyone else in the past. Not to mention how he really thought he’d find the gnosis, in all its golden glory, seated deep within the Exuvia, and not within his friend.

Which is why after he watches Zhongli hand over his precious gnosis to Signora of all people, Childe makes haste to return to the inn he had been staying at to furiously pack his things and leave first thing in the morning. Seeing Signora in Liyue so close to Zhongli had triggered a deep seated feeling of possessiveness over him and the city. Liyue was his territory, as far as he was concerned. It was assigned to him by the Tsaritsa and no one else. And yet, despite his unspoken possession over Liyue, its people turned against him and viewed him as the enemy. As if Childe didn’t already know that. As if he hadn’t already grown up with a layered villain complex, subconsciously looking for a fool with a hero complex to match him. Then entered Zhongli, making himself at home in Childe’s life, and he was immediately enamouring the Harbinger.

Screw Liyue.

Screw all their traditions, the stupid glaze lilies, the delicious cuisine, the obvious livelihood that fills the streets in stark contrast to his own icy hometown, screw all those goddamn unnecessary mountains, that fish market with that abhorrent smell he gradually got used to, and screw Rex Lapis. Screw Zhongli, that handsome bastard, for stringing him along like his plaything the entire time.

Childe knows, he gets it, that Zhongli simply did what he had to do because it was best for his people. And what other way for the oldest of the seven to go, if not for a grand finale? And yes, Childe admits, luring out Osial was a stupid move, but it certainly served its purpose for testing the strength of Liyue and its defenders.

Zhongli and Signora knew he would do something stupid and reckless as soon as he caught wind of the Exuvia serving as a decoy. They knew, and they played the game so well, that Childe really thought he was the mastermind puppeteering the whole show.

What a fool he was made out to be.

Childe aggressively shoves blazer after blazer into his travel duffel, angry, pathetic tears pooling at the corners of his eyes without his consent. He sniffs angrily and swipes at his cheek as soon as the first tear falls.

Fuck this, he’s not crying over a god, he still has some dignity.

But still. Pride aside, it hurt. And it wasn’t even necessarily the deceit that hurt the most. He’s dealt with that previously. It was… more personal. More of an internal struggle than an external issue. Childe truly hates those the most. At least he can shove his fist through any external problem, but he can’t exactly do the same with his feelings, or whatever they’re called.

It was the way Zhongli’s warm amber eyes suddenly were not as warm anymore. The way he looked at him with a piercing look, void of remorse, as he handed his gnosis over willingly to go on a whole spiel about how his “duties were done”. It was the way he turned and treated the precious traveler with the same amount of kindness and gentleness the Childe had received the previous night, with such ease; it was a look he thought was reserved only for him. It was the way he was able to turn back around, stare at Childe with an unreadable gaze, and walk away without so much of a goodbye.

The same eyes that gazed at him with such affection and kindness were suddenly replaced with the eyes of a soldier. And it was only then that Childe fully realized the force he was reckoning with. Zhongli was a withered god who lived too long for his own good. A powerful deity that held the ability to shake the ground with a look; he who had been humbled by time and his sharp edges eroded by the millions of faces that passed him. Simply put, Childe was just another one of those faces. And again, he understood. If he lived for six thousand years, he wouldn’t want to be alive after the first hundred.

It was the duality that dug the blade deeper into his already bleeding chest. He felt used.

“I’ve enjoyed the time we’ve spent together, Childe,” Zhongli had said to him on a warm Liyuen night, “a friend of mine, a long time ago, told me that I was… bad at connecting with people. Emotionally stunted, is what she called me. And she is correct, as I have definitely struggled with making connections in the past. But with you… it’s different. It’s easy.

Childe is thankful for the discretion that night provides him; Zhongli would have easily spotted the blush spreading across his pale cheeks had it been daytime.

“So you had trouble making a couple friends, so what?” The ginger shrugs, “I wasn’t the best at making friends, either. My mom always said I was too aggressive. Apparently that’s not such an appealing trait, after all.”

Zhongli chuckles, a beautiful sound. “It was a bit deeper than that, I’m afraid. Understanding the complexity of another’s emotions was always difficult for me, whereas she… she was loved by everyone. Adored by the youngest of fawns to the oldest of horses. It came so naturally to her. I was the opposite. Not that everyone hated me, no, people just had a harder time getting close to me. Which is why, upon meeting you, I was shocked to find that we clicked so well. Befriending you was as easy as breathing air.”

Oh, Archons, help him.

“And,” Zhongli continues, as if he hadn’t already wrecked the man six ways to hell and back, “I must sincerely thank you for indulging me once again.” The deity glances down at the bag full of antique trinkets in his lap. Childe’s lips turn upward into one of his more genuine, rare smiles.

“What’s with you tonight?” Childe responds, and Zhongli looks at him questioningly , “I mean, you never had a problem with me spoiling you rotten before. You’ve never even acknowledged it. Why start now?”

Zhongli tears his gaze away from the Harbinger.

“And,” the ginger continues, “it almost sounds like you’re saying goodbye.”

Zhongli smiles at him then. He wore a kind look on his face, eyes so impossibly warm that it reminded him of his grandmother’s pirozhki. Hot and steaming from the center, melting on his tongue, dissolving deliciously in his mouth and defrosting his entire body. His smile felt like it wrapped itself around his chest and squeezed the best way possible, fitting him back together in places Childe didn’t even realize he had broken.

“What makes you say that?”

Oh, Childe is pissed.

Fuck tomorrow morning, Childe is leaving tonight.

The memories of last night crash over him not unlike a tidal wave and suddenly, he’s drowning. Filled out the brim with a familiar rage burning through his chest and searing his finger tips, his legs, his fucking toes.

He stands abruptly when he realizes he’s been sitting and resumes his packing. It doesn’t take very long after that. A couple toiletries get shoved into the side pockets, his vision is hooked back onto his hip, and his mask is slid into its’ usual spot on his head. He looks at himself in the mirror on the way out and scowls at the way his hair looks more disheveled than usual. Red rims his dulled blue eyes, forcing him to accept that maybe he cried more than he’d like to admit. Whatever.

He swings the door open and-

“Childe,” lo and behold, Zhongli stands in his fucking doorway, “I’d like to talk to you, if that’s alright.” The man looks slightly disheveled. He’s a little out of breath, Childe notices, like he ran up those ridiculous flights of stairs to get to his room- which, by the way, he never disclosed that information with him.

The man in question huffs a laugh. “It’s not.”

He makes a move to brush past him, but is stopped by an unreasonably strong grip around his bicep.

“Tartaglia,” he pleads, “please.”

Childe snatches his arm back and spits, “don’t call me that.”

He retreats back into his room anyway, hearing Zhongli close the door behind him. He dumps the bag back onto his bed and curses himself for not leaving a millisecond earlier.

“You’re angry with me.” Zhongli starts, face as unreadable as ever.

“The sky is blue. Snezhnaya is cold. Are we still stating the obvious here?” He’s too angry to carefully choose his words. Too hurt to slip on his pleasant facade.

“Tartaglia,” he presses, and Childe really hates how his name sounds on his tongue, “I truly am sorry for the way things had to go. It was not in my intentions to… hurt you to the degree in which you feel. I simply was upholding the end of my contract and doing what was best for my people. I implore you to believe that making you feel used was not my main objective.“

Oh god, his apology sounds so robotic.

“So you’re aware that what you did was a little fucked up.”

“Yes.”

“And you’re aware that almost the entirety of Liyue places the blame on me.”

“Yes.”

Well, shit. “Good talk, Zhongli-xiansheng. If you’ll excuse me, I must begin my trip home.”

He stomps toward the door only to be stopped once again. Archons, if Childe had any motivation left, he most certainly would challenge him to a spar. The ginger huffs, and looks to the heavens in a silent plea for patience.

“Tartaglia, please, I’m not finished-“

“Yeah, well I am.” Their eyes lock. Blue meets gold in a hostile hold, refusing to break. “The second you handed your gnosis over, my business here was done. Whatever… relationship we had is done. You were my consultant and was a Harbinger here for business. A Harbinger that you obviously used for your disposal. So now that that’s over and done with, I really need to report to Tsaritsa, lest she have my head on a silver platter-“

“I spoke with Tsaritsa already.” Zhongli cuts in, his grip tightening around Childe’s wrist. “I asked her for more time with you.”

“You what.”

“Surely you are curious about the deal I struck with Tsaritsa. The contract to end all contracts, yes?” Childe’s wild look on his face eggs him to continue, “I struck a deal that granted you more time here in Liyue. With me.”

Childe is silent for a moment. The ex-Archon opens his mouth to continue.

“And I’d like to say I’ve known you long enough to know that you seek freedom. From what that may be, I do not know. But Tsaritsa has agreed to give you a choice, at the very least, a temporary one. An extended vacation or complete retirement is a choice to be made by you.” Zhongli finishes, looking to Tartaglia with hope.

“THAT is worth your fucking gnosis?!” Zhongli’s gnosis. The entire essence of his being. The very thing that makes him divine (thought it certainly isn’t the only thing that makes the man ethereal), was traded for him.

“Yes,” Zhongli replies with such ease it makes Childe’s head spin. “Among other things, of course.” An aggressive why is lodged in the back of Childe’s throat. Why me? A million questions swirl around his head, knocking him off balance. He would have swayed on his feet had Zhongli not been there to hold him upright.

“That’s insane. You’re insane. You…” Childe lets out a tired sigh, “I don’t understand you.” And he doesn’t. Because one minute he’s a cold hearted businessman, and the next he’s at his door, reduced to a mortal, begging him to stay. Granting him freedom. Really, what kind of fucked up game is this? Why didn’t anyone tell him he was a part of it?

Zhongli smiles. He smiles. “You remember our conversation from the night before, yes?”

Childe rolls his ever-blue eyes to the back of his head. “Remind me, Zhongli-sensei,”

“I said,” the deity starts, drawing both of Childe’s calloused hands between his own, “that I struggled to connect with others. Guizhong, the Goddess of Dust, was the one to bring to my attention my emotional constipation. And like I said, she was correct.”

Childe’s anger withers.

“Unfortunately I understand naught of the depth of your feelings of betrayal,” he continues, “but I do wish to understand how deeply humans feel. And in our time together, I’ve begun to understand through you. Despite your… complexities. And I wish to continue to learn. With you.” I wish to feel human is left unsaid, and laced between his words instead.

“What are you saying,” the Harbinger asks weakly.

“Take me with you.”

“What.”

“Take me with you. Wherever you go, I will follow, if you will allow it.”

Well duh, he’d allow it. Zhongli just had to work for it a little more. He can’t just waltz in here after breaking his heart and ruining his trust, demanding his friendship and companionship or whatever, after everything he was put through-

“Okay.”

Very nice ass to mouth filter, Ajax.

Zhongli’s eyes glow impossibly brighter, “Okay?”

Childe tugs his hands back to his side. “Yes, yes, fine. Whatever. But you can’t just. You can’t just use me again in the name of experimentation.”

“Tartaglia, I would never,” he assures him vehemently, “Of the seven, I was always the one most oblivious to emotions. You may ask Barbatos if you want. But I know that what I feel for you is real and I would not trade it for the world.”

Childe’s mind reels. Barbatos? Feelings?

“‘What you feel for me?’”

Zhongli cocks his head in confusion, as if his feelings were the most obvious thing in the world. “Well, yes. And you feel the same, no? It need not be said aloud.”

“It really doesn’t,” Childe affirms, “you can save me the embarrassment.”

“Wonderful,” Zhongli’s face brightens, and it’s only then that Childe is hit with the full realization that Zhongli is free. No longer is he tied to the city and burdened with the weight of the people. No longer does he have to associate himself with the likes of the Tsaritsa. Finally, after centuries and centuries, he is allowed the pleasure to smile so brightly despite feeling pained for finally leaving his people. He is Zhongli, and no longer Rex Lapis. Morax is long gone, too. The man before him is a man reborn, and Childe’s heart aches with happiness for him.

“Okay, well,” he clears his throat when he notices he’s been quiet for too long, “it’s been a long day and I’m tired. I think I’m just gonna take a shower and turn into bed and think about the rest tomorrow. Save it for future Childe, you know?”

He pads over to his hastily packed back and zips it back open, pulling out the toiletries he aggressively shoved in less than an hour ago. He digs his fingers into his neck and sighs at the release of tension. Summoning an angry ocean god took a lot more out of him than he anticipated.

“I agree,” Zhongli says, and begins to strip. “Personally I prefer the left side of the bed.”

Childe gawks at him.

“You-!” Truly an emotionally constipated god, indeed. He sighs and his shoulders droop, the fight leaving his body. “Fine. Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be out in a bit.”

“I eagerly await your return,” Zhongli comments passively as he slips under the covers, a book he didn’t even know he was carrying tucked under his arm. Childe sighs for the nth time that night and turns to close the bathroom door behind him.

Future Childe certainly has a lot to deal with in the morning.