#fuck you Babs and Bruce BOTH learned how to do it!!!!!

[fantastic-nonsense]

oh this is SICK. SHIVA WHEN I CATCH YOU IT'S ON SIGHT

[estupidapendejaestupida]

My selkie Batfam AU! Where selkies are not only seals/aquatic animals, but can be other animals. Born with their pelt, and if they are separated from them since their birth it doesn’t really hurts them, but it makes them feel very empty, like they are missing something very, very important, but they don’t know why (kinda like Crack baby, by Mitski).

Bruce: lion (black) like his parents were.

Dick: wolf (grey)

Barbara: human

Jason: bear (brown)

Tim: human, but not really (lynx).

Stephanie: human

Damian: lion (brown) like Thalia.

Cass: tiger

Duke: human

Alfred: human

Who else should i have?

Ideas so far:

• Tim being mocked by Jason (during the attack at TT) and Damian (during his murder attemps) for being the only robin to be human. And btw, he isn’t living in the manor, he stays in The Nest.

• Damian being taught that he was bigger than his other soul and animal instincts, that if he wanted to be strong and worthy he had to control his animal soul and stop needing it or using it.

• I think I like the idea of Steph being a rat or something small like her mother, and her dad being all like “you useless fuck, ofc you had to be something weak and insignificant, you are weak just like your mother and blah blah blah”. Tell me what you think about it, and well make a decision together.

• Babs being human and not understanding selkie’s at all when she first began working with the bats, but then when she finds that B and Dick are both selkies she just becomes a master about their selkie cultures and habitats and how to treat with them and learns what to do and what not to do. So when another human of the pack needs help understanding one of the selkies, they ask for her help. Except Tim, tho. He kind of always got them at the first try… weird, huh?

• Alfred has to raise young selkie Bruce Wayne all alone after the Waynes' death, and as a human, he tried to teach him how to be a selkie. But a mere human is not really a good mentor for a selkie.

• Slade taking Dick’s pelt away when he was training him, and Dick suffering through feeling like half of his soul had been snatched from him. Feeling it so close, yet too far. And being forced to obey Slade’s every order, until he manages to take his pelt back and scape.

• Jason’s pelt getting burned in Ethiopia, and Bruce keeping it locked away, so when Jason comes back to life he is easier to manipulate by Thalia saying that Bruce threw away his pelt after he replaced him. And Jason blaming that on Tim when he attacks him on TT.

• SPOILER ALERT: Tim’s mom is a selkie, but since she got pregnant with Tim, she stayed as a human and hid her pelt away. She was hoping for Tim to be born completely human, and instead, he was born a selkie. She hid it from her husband, thinking that this way, taking his pelt since birth, he would grow to not need it and could live a normal life just like his human father. She did write a separate testament from his husband, way before she died, where she left a box for Tim. Inside the box is his pelt, and a letter explaining everything. Tim only gets to that box after she dies, and his dad enters a vegetative state after the accident overseas. The thing is that Tim never quite opens the box. He just leaves it somewhere well hidden in his old room at the Wayne manor. And since he never stays the night in his old room anymore, he just never got around to open it. One day, he will, tho.

Please tell me if I should keep this up? I already have a draft done, so if you guys like this idea, I'll publish it :3

I'll write many fics for every character, so it's not very 'one character centric'

[kore-arts]

Au where Janet Drake lives

Tim was relaxing with Dick on the hedge between their houses when they both heard it.

Now Tim had a grin, knowing he wasn't the Drake who released that growl and shriek as he heard the click click of the heels he and his mother favored. Now if he could just figure out what she said, his mandarin being rusty. He giggles as he jumps down with grace to follow the beautiful fury his mother trailed

But Dick's hair rose on his arms. His eyes wide as he watches what had to be a demoness push open a gate that even he never knew was there. No alarms, no surprise yet to be seen on the gardener's face.

But Tim's reaction was… reassuring. As he follows his brother by emotion and vigilante bond his heart races.

Tim knew his mom. Janet Drake, the Dragoness of Artifacts and Business. Her eyes honed in on the sunbathing Bruce as she steadily walked with grace. Ah she screeched Bruce's name. He hides a grin as he perches on a chair, his mother long used to his eccentricity while in a comfortable place. Bruce's eyes are wide, truly caught off guard as Janet taps her nails on the seat she took. Her hat shading her face with her blood red lips twisted in displeasure.

“Do tell me dear Bruce. Whenever were you going to let me know my son is following you officially” Janet's nails click as her fire like tone wrapped around her words.

Tim… did not expect that. He already told her. His eyebrow raises as Janice grins

“I- wait. Tim, you didn't tell me that your mother was Jannie?!” Bruce exclaimed “whenever did you move back?”

Tim mouths ‘Jannie’ the nickname, feeling weird. Dick does the same and they look at each other.

He blinks slowly before it hits him

���Bruce. Please don't tell me you thought I was just a random kid named Tim Drake” Tim groans as Janice looks even more disappointed

Bruce's eyes look away.

Tim decides to be a menace and his mom nods in approval “Bruce. Bruce, did you even think about where I learned my detective skills? My ability to stalk you for years?”

Dick's little ‘’what the fuck' goes ignored

Bruce does look ashamed. His face red but not from the sun “I thought you just were a natural”

Janice and Tim both laugh at that. Both knowing that talent was earned not given at birth.

Tim presses on “oh and what about my knowledge of the Arkham Family? or how I already knew tiny bits of the league?”

“History hyperfixation?”

Tim blushes, yeah thats true. But he still shakes his head “No you Deaf Bat!”

Janice shakes her head “I understand you keeping me away because of the night activities Bruce. But no calls? I just have to see our boys on the hedge like the family version of Romeo and Juliet?”

“Hey! The hedge is comfy” Tim and Dick say at the same time. Tim winning the Jinx and getting handed ten bucks as Bruce sputters

“Jannie! No no! I thought you cut me off! Jack said so”

Janet's scowl deepens into something murderous. Her hair spilling out like black ink as she takes her hat off and holding it as she holds back her fury.

Dick's confused shout startles her “Uh! Little explanation here?”

Her eyes blink slowly as she looks at a shrugging Tim.

“Oh. That's right, you never actually met me. My maiden name was Janet Arkham-Woosan. I am one of Bruce's cousins. Albeit what most would say I am a Bastard born out of an affair in a very tiny village. Not that my sister is any different.” Tim giggles as Dick's face slowly cycles throughout emotions. Janet gently ran her hand through both boys' hair.

Bruce shoves his hands in his face and slowly drags them down “Jack's lucky to be dead.” It's a whisper before he straightens “well. It's lovely seeing you Jan. But yeah, This is my son Dick, The rest are inside”

Tim smiles and helps her stand “you gotta meet Cass! Oh and you'll adore Damian! He's such a serious little guy, almost killed me three times! Oh and Babs!”

Dick stares at Bruce as Tim practically drags his mother into the Manor

Bruce shrugs “Janet and Sandra were probably the two most important people to me other than Alfred. I did wonder where Tim got his penchant for the more subtle things. I am glad to see her. Honestly it wasn't even us finding out we were blood related that connected us as teens.” Bruce looks happy and haunted at the same time “we separated still, I was still out to discover myself and train. And they had a different path to that.”

Dick nods as he walks alongside Bruce “and that was? She looked weirdly familiar”

Bruce hummed. “Let's just leave it as Janet was not her birth name and Barbara is going to be even more surprised then I was to see her”

Dick startles hearing a shriek

“Lady Shiva?”

“Oh you've worked with my sister!”

[totally-lyrical]

hello can you please ramble more about batfam please? :3

HI HELLO THANK YOU SO MUCH YIPPEEEE

im so obsessed rn im trying to find somewhere to read the comics but. but i dont have money :(

(all of this is just my headcanons and personal opinions lol please dont take it too seriously)

also my rambles got out of hand so they're under a readmore. enjoy

first off hot take i think tim should be sleeping more. not even in a fanon "ohhh he doesnt sleep enough" way more in like a "chronically eepy and always napping" kinda way. i want him sleeping in physically improbable places. i want him sprawled out with case files and open textbooks and his laptop open to discord while he's under the fucking floorboards. i want him asleep on light fixtures, countertops, underneath couch cushions, handrailings, halfway down the stairs, under the table, upside down at his desk, i want you looking around a room and noticing nothing until you realize that he's literally squashed into a bookshelf and is sleeping so soundly he didnt notice the books he pushed fall. its never clear how he got there just that hes THERE and he is SLEEPING and there is NO WAKING HIM UP UNLESS THERE'S A BAT EMERGENCY (or alfred made cookies, that shit gets serious)

dick grayson should be the insomniac im so serious. he was the first, he has seen everything. he is always holding coffee or an energy drink. he is sassing bruce and his siblings at all times. he is swinging on the chandeliers that tim is sleeping on and neither of them notice. hes picking fights just to keep himself awake. idc WHY, idc HOW. maybe hes avoiding dreaming about jason again, or maybe he just doesnt feel like sleeping. just. just make him incapable of sleep please

more cass being a Creecher™ please and thank you. i dont want her to have a defined shape in costume, i want her to be a blob of darkness. you cannot see her face. you do not know what she looks like. gotham knows of black bat's presence but they do not know who they are. they just know that they are PRESENT. i want her to be a Creecher™ out of the cape too. She is walking on walls and ceilings in your peripheral vision but when you look she is just standing. she doesnt appear clearly in photos but you dont notice until you're really looking. sometimes you feel like a prey animal when she looks at you, but when you look back at her everything's normal. fae cass

Batman vs. Nightwing is Mr. Brick Wall vs. Mr. Overshare. Blud knows SO MUCH about NW. only the bats know ANYTHING about the Big Bat.

MAKE JASON MORE OF A COWARD. im being so fucking serious rn. you can make him put on a brave face!! that's great, PLEASE do that, actually! just, also, make sure it's JUST A FACE. on the inside he is SCARED, he is FRIGHTENED, he is FIGHTING THE URGE TO RUN. make it clear he died when he was a CHILD, when he thought being robin gave him magic. make it clear that when he died, his trust in the world was shattered, even more than it already was.

For damien, the same thing, but double it. OH MY GOD double it. he is CURRENTLY a child, one that's only starting to learn that where he had grown up is somewhere that most children would consider their worst nightmare. even aged up damien should be scared. he isn't used to gotham, he doesnt know america that well, it doesnt matter how long he's been there, he'll never be used to it.

for babs, she may be a genius, but she's still human. oracle can make mistakes, SHOULD make mistakes. she has to ask for help sometimes, has to call tim from time to time just to get an outside perspective on a problem. she may be able to solve any tech issue, but it shouldnt always be EASY.

let alfred keep mourning thomas and martha pls <3 also they were totally poly and i accept no criticism on this matter

the bats are both tight-knit and also they fucking hate each other (affectionate). they have real life tried to kill each other and they dont regret it, but also they get sad at the idea of killing one another in minecraft sometimes. other times they get killed in minecraft and then they try to real life kill whoever killed them in minecraft. among us is banned in the wayne household.

bruce's "adoption problem" is more of a cat-distribution-system deal. all these orphans and orphan-adjacents just keep showing up in his trash cans and becoming robin. he cant do anything about it. he will do his best to parent them but he is The boyfailure.

speaking of bruce being The boyfailure, he and harley are the two ends of the genderfailure spectrum. she may have a doctorate in clinical psychology but she is SO messy. after she breaks up with the joker, she and bruce start meeting up on sundays for mimosas and gossip. he's her best man at her and ivy's wedding (her hyenas are the flower girl and ring bearer). harvey dent is also there.

on the topic of harvey, they have this weird tragic doomed-by-the-narrative situationship. bruce may be dating selina in most canons, but she is WELL aware of her husbands boykisser behavior and tbh? shes chill. its enrichment, he needs to have a weird homosexual situationship with an old college friend. for his health. shes kissing thalia anyway its fine. shes also aware of his weird superhero situationship with clark kent AKA superman. she is also chill with that.

bruce has kissed most (if not all) of his rogues at least once. whether it was on purpose, on accident, or ivy. doesnt matter, its happened.

(ivy, according to her own self, kissed him for the plot)

WE and luthorcorp have this intense hatred for each other. it is the driest, most unsexy hatred you have ever seen. it is the hatred one might hold for elon musk. nonetheless, this hatred inspires the most colorful Gotham Branded fuckery to ever occur. the batfam are routinely teaming up with the supers to fuck with luthorcorp.

i have nothing more to say right now but if you want to ask me more questions i am Open to Asks. please. please let me get more specific with it pLEASE

[unapologetically-horrible]

Gotham Quotes That Live Rent-Free in My Brain

Eduardo: “You left the military for this city?” 🤨

Jim: “It grows on you.” 😏

Me: “No fucking kidding.”

opens tumblr 🤳

Yeah, you’re about to see them. Feel free to reblog and add your own brainrot so I can see it and read it and rot it to sleep because I’m a glutton for punishment while also having incredibly resilient willpower to take it so I’m gonna wanna read those when I open Tumblr later after watching Gotham.

Anyway, here are the quotes that are rotting my brain because I’m watching too much Gotham:

“I did it for you.” Ed 💚 idk if it’s the way CMS delivered this punisher for me when he and Chelsea Spack were filming her (first) death scene, or if it’s just because I have repeated failed relationships and am now going through a divorce—BUT—This quote stays with me even months of never watching even a single clip of Gotham. It’s there. In my brain, infecting my thoughts. Like a virus.

“FREE MY WIFE?! He thinks he can kill seven cops and that will get us to free his wife? I’ll free my boot up his frozen ass! That tin can lunatic, son of a bitch, I’ll rip his—I’m gonna take a breath.” Captain Barnes. Memorized this one while taking care of my babies before taking them to their dad’s. This one is cathartic to yell when you’re getting overwhelmed by your own consequences of your actions.

“Come on, show me.” Alfred. It’s hot. The delivery is hot. Sean Pertwee is hot. The tone is hot. He’s hot.

“Come back to me, Bruce.” Alfred, again. More paternal, still hot, but add some care for Bruce in there…Yeah, still hot, I know, right?

“Middle-aged…white.” Jim Gordon describing child snatchers. The way he says the words. Idk. Go watch season 1, ep 2, Selina Kyle. He and Harvey are talking to Fish Mooney.

“WHO THE HELL WAS THAT?”/ “What the hell was that?” Oswald. Listen, I just live for Robin Lord Taylor swearing, but both times, Oswald’s temper just leaves him with nothing else to do but just explode “WHAT THE F—” in season 5. RLT deserved one f-bomb for how angry they kept Oswald lol. We’d have ate that up.

“Umbrella boy.” Fish 🐟. Actually, Jada Smith’s delivery, stage presence, and performance in general has stayed with me for years. Learned they extended Jada’s role as Mooney because the viewers loved her so much. This line, followed by the line “Bloodshed, then” are probably fairing at the top 2 of my favorite quotes from Fish Mooney 🤤

“The guy with the thing…” (if you haven’t seen the outtakes, the video makes this even funnier 😅. You can fjnd it on YouTube.)

“I am going to wipe that smile off of your face.” Oswald.

“I AM IN CONTROL!” Ed 🤤🤤💚

“But why would you want that? We had so much fun when we were me!” ~Riddler 🤤🤤🫦

“I am judge, jury, and executioner!” Michael Chilklis as Captain Barnes in stark contrast to his role as Vic Mackey in The Shield is my favorite bit that the Gotham Writers and Directors used in the show, and it’s why especially after finishing the Shield, is why I love this quote so much.

“It’s a new day.” Essen, Oswald, Jim, Captain Barnes, that one guy that doesn’t last long says it; if you binge certain episodes ahem like I do, it feels like everyone says it. Speaking of which—

“It’s Gotham.” And any version (lovingly) of it that the city is mentioned. Off the top of my head:

That is so Gotham. ~Ed

For Gotham. ~ Jim ❤️

It’s Gotham. ~ Harvey

This is Gotham. ~ Jim

It’s Gotham. ~Selina

He should just wear leather. This is Gotham. Nobody cares.” ~Oswald

One of my favorites:

You gotta love Gotham, everyone standing around pointing guns at one another. ~Fish Mooney

It really does grow on you, doesn’t it?

Anyway, next:

“[…] long and hard about my generosity!” Oswald. Do I have to say why this stays stuck in my brain? No? Great. Moving on.

“This is trouble.” Gilzean. When Tabby and Babs aren’t getting along is Season 3.

“Grundy, safe.”

“Well, maybe if you would start listening to this 🫀 instead of this 🧠—!” Oswald to Ed.

“So it’s the box 👏👏!” Erin Richards’ cutesy delivery of this line is my favorite thing. Her American accent she uses, her tiny little claps, her pretty toothy smile—Gotta clap or you’re not doing the quote right.

“Experiencing trembling extremities? 👀 Check.” Actually, any of the conversations that Ed has with himself. The cinema is too good when it came to that feature. It’s still one of my favorite things about the series as a whole. All his quotes need to be punctuated by the 👌🏻 or 👆pending on the quote. Use with caution.

“Edward. Well that’s your name, Edward. Edward, Edward. Edward. Edward, Edward, Edward, Edwardedwardedwardeward—”

“COMPLICATED POLICE BUSINESS!” That fella that does killer impressions, that one. That bit when he’s Jim and he has to cover for his absence. That whole shpill is quotable. But—

“Lee Thompkins. Screw that ho. Water under the bridge.” Same guy. Same line, over and over, and over. “Screw that ho.”

“I love birds.” Miriam.

“Yeah, your dad’s a hoot.” Harvey Bullock, to Miriam. Miriam was so scary, y’all. Why she one of the freakiest fucking things of the whole series when you got actual dead alive people in the basement of an insane asylum? That’s intense, right?

Anyway, let’s crack on.

“Dead people. Alive people. Dead-Alive people. It’s horrible!” Ed. I think this stays stuck because of how it’s phrased: dead alive people when I feel it should be alive-dead because you’re alive first—

“You’d make a great pimp.” Fish, to Strange. She’s not wrong.

“That slippery little sucker thinks that he can get away from me—” Jerome, about his brother. The tie 👔 business took me all the way out 💀when I first watched the episode. They had no business having Cameron Monaghan on the business end of a tie and a deadly end of a shotgun in one scene 🫦 He is fiiine—

“Jimjimjimjinjimjimjim, Jim, Jim, Jim. Why so grim, Jim?” Tetch.

“This is my amused look.” Barnes, to Oswald.

“ ‘Ed Nygma is the monster responsible for blowing up Haven’…Ed, what have you done?” Oswald. I could write an essay (like I’m doing now) about why that stays in my head, but ima just throw it out there for closure and completion sake that HE CARES ABOUT EDDIE AND—

RLT. Another stunning performance.

Sofia Falcone:

“You came looking for a gangster, and that’s exactly what you found.”

“We could have had a great thing, you and I.”

“I’m a Falcone.”

“Captain.”

“Lunch.”

“That’s wrong!” Falcone, when he realized Fish used Liza as a weapon against him.

“I’m going to stab you.” 🔪✊🏻 Victor Zsasz, to Sofia. The hand gesture is so cute.

“Boy, do I feel it when the night gets cold.” Ecco.

“Ping…ping…ping.” 🏓🧠

“I…hhhhhhate 🐈…having a gun pointed at my face.” Selina Kyle. Cameron’s performance in this delivery is my favorite quote of hers. The nose scrunch, the lip snarl, the way her eyes did thing—the HISSING

“I was set up!” Jim. He does that sexy jaw lock thing when he yells it.

“It’s a set up!” Not a sexy thing, but Harvey’s desperation, regret, and horror are so visceral in that line, it gives me chills.

“I couldn’t help it, Harvey; he vexed me.” Fish Mooney. That woman is delicious , stg 🫦😏

“Mi casa es su casa.” Not an original line, but this one stays close by because Oswald reiterates Fish’s same line to Jim Gordon a couple seasons later (I love the parallels).

“Boop 🍸.” Barbara plops a fruit or olive into a dude’s glass in response to the bargaining chip she’ll give dude in exchange for the club. Apparently, Erin Richards did have actual lines to say in response to Robin Lord Taylor; however, she forgot what they were, and instead opted for this cute, Barbara Queen-esque improvisation.

“There is no Ed Nygma without the Penguin!” Oswald says this, however, I do like how it reverberates throughout the episode How the Riddler Got His Name and through the episodes prior to it. Without going into a whole shpill—#teamnygmobblepot

“Riddler.” The way Oswald says his name. 😋😛 The fact that it’s the gayest scene ever and I live for it. I do like the entire scene when Riddler and Oswald are reunited however briefly for Oswald and Ed—I don’t understand why Ed just didn’t stay with Oswald, say fuck the narrows, and ruled from on high at City Hall starting s5e1—y’all motherfuckers knew they’d be too powerful so you had to split them up somehow

Anyway, let’s keep going.

“Honk, honk 🪿.”

“What’s my problem, schmo?” Frankie, to Oswald. Why does this man kind of look like Jack Nicholson in The Shining?

“Did you name your dog after me 🐾?”

“You are an idiot.” Ed 💚 I like the way he says it. Yeah, I’m thirsty, so what? It’s sexy, though. If you disagree, you’re wrong. Go watch Anything For You and tell me that he’s not hot as fuck when his neck does the thing when he says “idiot” and come back to this post. Do it now. Fuck, I might…damn 🫦🥵.

“We have been through all of this before. I’ve tried to kill you. You’ve tried to kill me. And yet fate has led us here, in this room. Together.” You know. You know.

“Y-Yes…?” Kringle…Specifically, Edward is about to think about asking Kringle out and instead of doing that, he pauses to ask, instead, if she knows that houseflies hum in the key of ‘F’. (Which is also one of the quotes that just buzz 🪰 around in my noggin if only to pester me.)

“Have I got you all wrong? Are you crazy?” Lee, to Jim, when he’s planning to lead an assault on Galavan’s tower. (His tower right? Yeah. Yeah, because that’s where Penguin and Gordon take dude and whack him by the river 🌂.

“You need to stop mumbling and fumbling and tell her what’s up.” Dark Nygma. Mmm. 🥵

“Well, I’m dead 😵 .” Kringle’s reflection. Chelsea Spack’s innocent, sort of doe-eyed affect is dropped down to earth by her cynical “didn’t need a second chance if you hadn’t killed your first one, but okayyy” flat delivery kills me every time.

“You’re the only one to measure up.” Isabella. Say it, girlfriend…and then never again. 🛤️🚗

“Well, hello! Nice to meet ya! I knew there was someone hiding in there!” Tom, Selina’s street thug ‘colleague’ who helps Bruce get Silver to speak the truth about his parents’ murderer.

Tom is one of my favorites. The entire scene with he, Silver, and Bruce is just comedy gold with rewatch value.

“Unless you’re fond of wearing mittens…” lmfao

“ARE WE GOOD!?”

“Caaaaaaat.” The way he purrs Selina’s street name.

I like Tom.

“But Sasha! 🥩Far more tender! In my opinion.” 🤤

“Stop 👹 talking!” Jim has the virus and Tetch is grinding his gears; Jim is close to giving into the virus and killing him. Virus!Jim was exactly what we needed to see. If he hadn’t caught the Virus, I’d have been like dude. It’s the fella that we need to see fight his shit. Jim and his distorted “👹 Just drive the damn car!”

[shakespeareallanpoe]

Batfamily Secret Santa

With the holidays coming up here's my headcanon for what each of the batfamily members would get each other if they were doing a secret Santa. (And yes, I know Bruce is canonically Jewish, but I believe either Tim or Dick are some denomination of Christian so I'd imagine they have a mixed holiday celebration at the manor)

Bruce (got Stephanie)

Ok so Bruce is super generous on a good day and I can't imagine Steph wouldn't be dropping hints since Thanksgiving, so he'd probably give her everything she asked for plus a new movie Wayne manor doesn't have, so after the celebration they could watch it together as a one-on-one bonding thing since he's pretty big on quality time in some versions.

Dick (got Bruce)

Bruce really doesn't expect anything for the holidays which is perfect because I have this headcanon that Dick is actually really bad with giving gifts. Someone bullied your little sister? Not on his watch. Life advice? He'll pull from his past experiences to tell you what not to do. Emotional support? Bro he's there. But birthday/anniversary/holiday gifts? Expect a mug with Snoopy's face because you both watched Charlie Brown together once. In July. He's just that kind of gift giver. So I'm thinking Dick would get Bruce a dinosaur themed 1,000 piece puzzle because Bruce likes dinosaurs and he likes puzzles so boom! Match made in heaven, ya boi is a genius. 😎

Barbara (got Jason)

Babs is a pretty practical person so her secret Santa to Jason probably consisted of a gift bag with manly smelling body wash, a gift card to Barnes & Noble, and a CD mixtape of Jason's Spotify favorites so he can pop it into a car and listen to it during long car rides.

Duke (got Damian)

So Duke is a pretty creative person when he's passionate about a project and his ideas are definitely one of a kind, but I think for some time he would really struggle with coming up with a secret Santa for Damian because he isn't all that close with Robin. He knew Damian appreciated weapons but he's also the type of person to not want Damian to think that weapons are all he is by getting him one. Presents for Damian's pets are off the table since Damian spoils them on every day of the year, so Duke would probably gift Damian something for the child he is, since Damian never had a childhood. Maybe a telescope so Damian could look at the stars with his family on clear nights. Just like what Duke's mom gave him as a boy for the holidays one year.

Cass (got Dick)

Cass didn't receive material gifts for most of her life so she probably enlisted Alfred's help. Given that the butler knows Dick pretty well, they decided to give him a gift basket with blue ribbon that had a T-shirt of his favorite band, some flash fuzzy socks (Wally would approve), and his favorite holiday candy. Dick is really more of a quality time kind of person if you want to make him to feel special, so it didn't need to be elaborate anyway.

Jason (got Cass)

I don't care how much people try to make Jason into a sexist, ignorant-to-the-fine-arts kind of person. Jason doesn't give a fuck about gender stereotypes and he loves learning, especially about classical things like literature or fine arts. For his secret Santa to Cass he got them both tickets for a weekend trip to Russia to see a ballet in person in one of the grandest cities in Russia. Cass has obviously been to many places across the world, but it was always for a mission and nothing more. For the holidays, Jason gifted her two days where they could travel and explore the culture, living like locals or being those stereotypical tourists just for shits and giggles. Just a few days without work to relax and live happy lives as regular people. When Cass got her gift Jason pulled her aside afterwards to explain it, so she wouldn't cry in front of everyone. And she did cry. Just a little. So did Jason.

Tim (got Duke)

Tim wouldn't think too hard about Duke's gift since he knows the people Duke hangs out with. Or could find them. Getting Duke a gift was as simple as casually running into Duke's friends and asking them about what Duke likes. Not that he or Duke's friends ever mentioned this to Signal, so when he opened his secret Santa and found some hyper-specific things amongst some more generic gifts, he began to wonder just how much Tim knew about his life.

Stephanie (got Babs)

Steph is absolutely the type of person to get someone for Christmas something they want themselves. So a lot of the gifts Bruce gave her look similar to what Babs got from Steph. Not that she means anything by it, but in her mind if it's worth wanting, someone else close to her probably wants it too. And Babs doesn't mind. She already bought herself a new desk light after the old one got knocked down one too many times, so it doesn't matter if she has a cute keychain to go on it.

Damian (got Tim)

Regardless of his age I think a younger sibling will always be a younger sibling. Damian would probably give Tim a large fancy gift bag filled with tissue paper... and nothing else. He'd do it just to see Tim's reaction to rifling through the bag for several moments to come up empty. Then, when Tim admits defeat, Damian would hand over a gift he asked Jon to pick up for Connor, nicely wrapped with Tim's forged signature and everything. He wasn't about to get Tim a gift but it's okay because he knew Tim would've somehow forgotten to get his boyfriend a holiday gift anyway. (And he did)

[bitimdrake]

pssssst hey quick question on the dl - who is helena bartinelli??

i cannot answer anon questions on the dl, so answer on the up-high, which she deserves:

HUNTRESS

a.k.a. Helena Bertinelli, a.k.a. Gotham's coolest and most notable antihero, crossbow-wielder, and purple bat-associated vigilante.

Helena was born to an Italian mob family, but spent her childhood blissfully unaware of the family business--until her entire family was slaughtered in front of her when she was eight. She stayed with family overseas for the rest of her childhood, learning how to fight and protect herself.

She came back to Gotham for both vengeance and justice, and became one of Gotham's many vigilantes. Though her focus is on the mob, she'll step in to stop any crime.

She's also a schoolteacher! Good for her.

She is discerning in who she chooses to kill, but she does kill. As you can imagine, this put her at odds with Batman for a long time. Helena is pretty much the premiere example of Bruce trying to claim control over every vigilante in Gotham, no matter how little right he has. The argument on killing/ethics is valid, but his default was basically "do exactly what I say and fall in line under my command, or stop completely," which is why he's an asshole control freak and why I'm constantly mad about how she was treated 👍

She was an absolute mainstay of the Batfamily before Flashpoint (2011) and it is personally hurtful to me that people don't know her. (Like, to be frank? She had far more of a presence than Damian or (living) Jason in the post-crisis era.)

You could count on seeing her in any major Batfamily crossover, from Cataclysm to Battle for the Cowl.

She was central to the biggest Batfamily crossover ever, No Man's Land, where Gotham was locked off from the rest of the country and turned into a lawless wasteland. Bruce left to sulk for the first couple of months and in absence of any other vigilantes in the field (only Oracle having remained in the city), Helena donned the mantle of the Bat for herself to protect the city. And when Batman came back, in return for all she'd done, she got...yelled at, assigned impossible tasks and criticized for not achieving them, her costume stolen and given to someone else, lied to, abandoned in the face of impossible odds, and shot multiple times protecting kids. Absolute fucking hero, honestly.

She also was on the Justice League for a while, though admittedly I have barely touched that run. To my understanding, despite nominating her for the position, Bruce was also the one to revoke her membership there.

Fortunately! things improved!!

In the early/mid 2000s, Helena joined the Birds of Prey, Oracle's team, and found legit friendships and support there with teammates like Dinah Lance/Black Canary. She finally got more respect in the community, and had a much better time.

Additional relationships include:

A big sister/annoying little brother type thing with Tim, who may disapprove of her killing but simply likes making friends too much :)

A great relationship with Vic Sage/the Question

One single issue where she met Steph that presented SUCH interesting potential that I desperately wish had been followed up on

On and off romantic/sexual tension with Dick, depending on the writer, which culminated in a single hook up that apparently most people around here would rather pretend didn't happen, though I really don't think it's that bad

A complicated relationship with Barbara, partially due to clashing personalities and conflicting morals (with Babs being nearly as much of a control freak as Bruce), and partially due to a shared history with Dick because DC loves making women be catty

Surely others from her first solo or time on the JLA that I don't know well enough to list!

She's rad and determined and takes no shit but cares a lot, and I love her. We deserve more stories tying her teaching day job into her night work. We also deserve more stories with her in general.

If you would like additional Helena beyond just cruising my tag, I recommend:

Batman/Huntress: Cry for Blood - far more Huntress than Batman, this is a great 6-issue miniseries about Helena reckoning with her past, ft the Question.

Batman: No Man's Land - if you have the time for it, a big storyline but worth it.

Birds of Prey vol 1 (1999) - Helena starts to appear around issue #57 and becomes a central character from there.

[bruhseidon]

✨Batfam as Killers✨

Bruce (Michael Myers)

They both stalk people and are quiet as a fucking shadow. They also never seem to die. (Kind of like a cockroach to be perfectly honest).

Dick (Ghostface)

“What’s your favorite horror movie?”

Dick is charismatic and smart enough to fool people into thinking he’s this innocent guy and totally not a serial killer. Well, the joke is on them.

Jason (Jason Voorhees)

Not only do they share a first name but they died and got better. Enough said.

Tim (Jigsaw)

“I want to play a game.”

Let’s be honest, Tim is smart enough to create those games from the Saw franchise.

Duke (Red Devil)

“Do you wanna dance with the devil?”

The Red Devil’s main motive is to avenge the death of their loved one. I can see Duke getting revenge on the people who caused his parents to go insane. Those who are associated with the perpetrators are not going to be safe either.

Damian (Vincent Sinclair)

Damian can definitely take his artistic side to the most extreme level by creating wax figures out of real people. Prove me wrong.

Barbara (Bela Dimitrescu)

“I hate stupid men.”

Barbara and Bela are the eldest and leaders of their respective groups—Babs with the Batgirls and Bela with her sisters. They have a strong head on their shoulders.

Cassandra (Cassandra Dimitrescu)

“Let me string you up, slice your jugular, and just watch…”

Yet another one with the same name and backstories (I guess???). Both Cassandras are the middle child. Cassandra Cain can be just as sadistic as Cassandra Dimitrescu with the right motivation from the wrong people.

Stephanie (Daniela Dimitrescu)

“Mm, bad boy! You can’t go anywhere.”

I feel like Daniela is essentially Stephanie gone crazy. She’s still sweet but unfortunately has turned a whole lot psycho.

Alfred (Hannibal Lecter)

“Cruelty is a gift humanity has given itself.”

Just like Hannibal, Alfred is a highly intelligent and cultured individual with top tier mannerism. He is also a damn good chef. Alfred probably knows how to cook humans. Just give him time to learn.

[id10t-error-f-ck]

So like yes! Yes please! But also this:

And then what about somewhere in between?

Like Damian sees Tim as his better and thinks that his place is threatened by Tim existence. He sees that as a challenge to get better and he loves a challenge. (You can not convince me that one of the reasons he strives to be better is because he sees everything as a challenge and grew up loving a challenge because he knew that if he 'won' it would make his mother and grandfather proud.)

So it starts with Damian trying to one up Tim and prove he's better (EX. Damian trying to kill Tim at least twice that I know of). Making it seem like Damian hates Tim to everyone else.

Damian doesn't actually hate Tim, if anything he looks up to Tim, and Tim knows it. Damian knows Tim knows it. Tim knows that Damian knows that Tim knows that Damian looks up to Tim. So on and so forth. No one else does.

Damian proceeds to have character growth. How doesn't matter. Fuck make it that time Jon goes to space and comes back older (I heard about it one time I don't know shit about what happened there) and Damian believes Jon's dead or not going to be able to make it back. He's done though just like older than Damian now and not as child like. Just something that makes Damian realize that the people he cares about won't always be around and so he has to find away so show them that he cares about them so that they know before something can happen to them and he loses that chance again.

Start with his friends, start with it small things. He brings them food on days that he knows they won't eat school lunch. He draws them art of their favorite things or makes drawn collage/aesthetic boards of things that make him think of them.

Then go to family friends or adults that he likes.

The art teachers that made it easy for him to start getting into art and helped him find joy in it? He starts leaving new supplies for them in front of their offices/class rooms.

The Kent's? He helps Ma and Pa with the animals and occasionally in the fields (if they have those) when he originally came over to hang out with Jon. He'll go with Clark and Lois to the Daily Planet and learn what they do there, make it a chance for him to learn something new and for them to teach him something that they enjoy doing.

Selena? He goes with her to the animal shelters that she donates her time to to spend time with her in spaces that make them both comfortable.

Others who I don't know enough about to give them specific, like Lucius Fox? He finds a way to give them something, help them, or spend time with them, in ways that makes both him and the other person happy and comfortable.

Then it's to his family.

It gets a little more personal with them. Mostly because he's around them the most but also because they are his family. And though it may not seem like it the Al-Ghul's, well they aren't really people people, they do care about family to a high degree. And the Wayne's, do I have to explain? So family is a big deal on both sides of his parentage.

So when it comes to family he learns, what they like, to do, to eat, to read, to play, so on and so forth. But he learns these things and then he uses those things to get closer to his family. All of them, Alfred, Bruce, Kate, Babs, Dick, Jason, Cass, Steph, Duke, he'll slowly start being around them more, doing things with them more. But is slow, a few minutes at a time, so they don't realize that he's doing it until he's got a board of times of when he's going to be with which family member. He's still got time for himself but unlike when Bruce first took him in where he's spending most of his free time by himself, he's now spending most of his free time with others. And well Damian isn't huge on being around people that he doesn't know he can be around his family for a decent amount of time before his introvert battery dies.

All that that leaves is Tim. Over time Damian has noticed that Tim cares about the family just as much as Damian does. He also sees now that his place isn't threatened by Tim because Tim isn't out to take his place. But he does still see Tim as a challenge he hasn't beaten yet.

So that's what he does. He faces Tim like he's a challenge that can teach him. So he learns, he asks Tim to teach him how to be better, and Tim does. What it looks like to the others is this older teen and young adult (because Damian is at least 15 or 16 at this point) fighting, butting head, and slowly it start to shift. The fighting turns into sparing lessons, the butting head doesn't change its just become more brotherly, more like they are rivals instead of enemies even though they are neither.

By the time Damian is 17 almost 18 and Tim would is about 24 they are clearly bothers. Like people with siblings will look at these two and go 'oh they are brothers'. Damian and Tim are probably the closest person the other has other than who ever they are dating.

Which makes for some fucking chaos when they're paired together against just about anything. Work, the Rogues, their family on all sides. It's like Demon Twins type of chaos with how crazy they drive the people around them. Of course it's not all the time, it's just often enough though that people can tell that they are close to each other.

They especially like fucking with Ra's, they get the most fun out of him.

I know where this was going, it was supposed to go on about how Damian hates Tim, but slowly they start to get along, see each other as brother, and cause chaos, but it got away from me. And I don't know where it went..... Nor how to bring it back... But anyway hope this made since to whoever decides to read this ramble of words.

Damian should be Tim’s biggest fan, and I’m tired of pretending otherwise.

Tim is the perfect intersection between Batman and Ra’s Al Ghul and Damian would 100% recognize and respect this

He’s one of the biggest thorns in Ra’s side and he’s the only person who can effectively lie to Batman, and is an intellectual match to both of them.

I’m tired of Damian and Tim being at each others throats all the time, give me Damian and Tim being borderline supervillains on a mission together, give me Damian being Tim’s right-hand henchman.

[nghtwngs]

the world in black, blue, and red

description: if you asked dick how he wanted his nightly patrol to go, bleeding out on the sidewalk would definitely not be his first choice, but then again, luck doesn’t exactly run in the family.

pairing: nightwing!dick grayson x reader

genre: angst, pining

word count: 1.5k

warnings: blood/injury (mildly graphic), swearing

i reference nightwing (2016) vol. 1 here and there, slight spoilers for the comic. i left this open ended so you can imagine dick’s fate however you’d like

The slash in Dick’s abdomen fucking hurts.

You think he’d be used to pain by now with all the scars that litter his otherwise perfect skin. That it’d hurt a little less with each fresh wound. It doesn’t. You just learn to hide it better.

His breath is heavy, and it’s January, so he can see it in the air. He can watch it float into the cold night like smoke. He’s reminded of how it looks to smoke and how he hates the smell of cigarettes, but it also reminds him of Jason, and so he’s grown to hate it a little less. It feels ironic almost, how Dick is watching his last breaths escape him, his body both freezing and feverish at the same time.

He groans as he tilts his head up to examine his fingers covered, drenched in a dark red after only grazing his torso. He’s not sure how it’s gotten to this point; how he let himself get bested, and he knows that Bruce would be disappointed. So much for making his own decisions, huh?

He wonders if anyone will come to his aid now, but in a shithole like Gotham, no one is stupid enough to be out at this hour unless they’re looking for trouble. Dick is a prime example, and he definitely found it. Will they find his body in the morning?

Nightwing of Gotham found dead on the street.

Great front page header. Not so much for him, but this is what he gets for going out on patrol alone. No Babs. No Jason. No Tim. No Damian. No you.

He knows that Babs would be mad that he didn’t stick to his word, but she can’t stay upset at him for that long if he’s six feet under, could she? He’s in some real shit either way. So, he lies here in a growing pool of his own blood, the metallic taste of it fresh on his tongue.

What’s his plan now?

What would Bruce do? God, why is he asking himself that? Bruce would not be bleeding out here on the sidewalk like roadkill. He’s spent his entire life in Batman’s shadow, and now, trying to make a name of his own as Nightwing. Is Dick just a stray now?

No, Dick Grayson is not a stray. He is not Bruce. He is Nightwing. He’s no longer Robin, no longer in Batman’s shadow, no longer under the grasp of the Court of Owls. So, Dick finds himself asking, what would Nightwing do?

Not give up.

His only options are to either somehow get a hold of someone to come help him or to help himself.

And maybe wait it out until he bleeds out on the cold, damp pavement? Dick is, decidedly, still on the fence about that one. The latter of the first two would be great if he could move a limb without wanting to scream out bloody murder, possibly attracting some unwanted guests. He stares out at the flickering stars because it’s the only thing he can really do as thick crimson spills out of him, drenching his torn (and recently fixed) suit and staining the dirty concrete beneath him, and he thinks of you.

He remembers the way the corners of your mouth quirk up whenever he tells a dumb dad joke that nobody else finds funny, or has too much pride to admit that it was a good joke. He remembers the feeling of your lips brushing his forehead after every patrol that left him bruised and sliced open, and in so much fucking pain. But seeing you after made it so worth it. He also remembers the clear worry always on your face whenever you try to patch him up, running your fingers lightly over the scars that healed from previous mishaps like he’d shatter if you used any sort of pressure.

Dick misses being around you and staring lovingly into your soul when you aren’t looking. He misses making you flustered for no reason, or maybe it was just to witness the kind of effect he has on you. Maybe it was out of childish revenge for you affecting him the way you did with reddening cheeks and soft smiles and a heart that did somersaults each time he glanced in your direction.

You’re the reason he wants to see another day, another night, so you can make him green tea with honey the way you drink it, or call him stupid for making a dumb Dick Grayson kind of decision; for ‘Nightwinging it.’ He hasn’t patented that one yet. He thinks he should set a reminder for himself when he gets out of here alive and well (the ‘well’ part being relative) and home to you.

Dick really, really wants to hear your voice right now. He wants you to tell him goodnight and good morning and then both of them all over again. He wants to hear his name roll off your tongue in that way where you mean more than just the nickname. And god forbid the last sight that he has to witness be the midnight of the cloudy Gotham sky. Is it actually cloudy, or is his vision just going bleary? Or the even worse case, he’s dying and maybe both of those things were also happening all at once. He gets his answer once he feels a drop land on his cheek, and soon he’s being drenched even further by the Gotham rain.

You’re probably staring out your window now, watching the city be consumed by your favorite kind of weather at your favorite hour. He can always count on your horrible sleep schedule that you always say you’ll fix when he tries to get you to take better care of yourself. Are you waiting for him? It’s not likely, but he still hopes so.

He should tell you he loves you.

He should tell you that he loves you and how you make his knees feel all weak and his heart twist into knots at the sight of your grin when you make fun of him. How he wants to take you to the arcade with Damian and watch you go easy on his brother just to see his smile after he wins. (You’d eventually have to start trying harder so as to not raise any suspicion.) He’d like to hear your laugh after every joke he cracks even when no one else seems to find it as amusing.

Dick has loved and loved and loved, and you just make him want to love even more than he already does. He wants to tell you how pretty you are and how perfect you are for him. He wants to cry and bleed himself dry in your arms.

You asked him something once after he showed up to your apartment out of the blue, half-conscious, and stabbed: “You always take care of everyone, but who’s going to take care of you?”

He replied like Nightwing would, “You’re taking care of me now, aren’t you?”

“You know what I mean.”

Dick has been called many things in his life: Flying Grayson, Robin, Boy Wonder, Nightwing, Batman.

He wants to be Dick Grayson for you.

This may only just be the significant loss of blood talking, but man, does he want to love you in every way you’ll let him. He should call you when he gets out of here, or maybe visit since he hasn’t seen you in almost a week. He’s sure you’ll be angry with how tonight has gone so far, but he’ll sit there all pretty and listen to you with open ears because you just care so much.

The transmitter in his mask is definitely broken after he took one too many blows to the face. He hasn’t been able to reach anyone in the last hour, or however long he’s been laying here. Time passes differently after you’ve been stabbed. Dick doesn’t trust his voice either way.

He bites down hard on his lip to prevent him from crying out as he lifts his arm, slowly inching it over towards his left forearm. The harsh blue light that appears makes his eyes squint. His gloved fingers tremble as he sends out a signal for help—he’s not sure if the red he’s seeing is the alert on the screen or his blood—and it’s only now that he realizes just how dizzy he is.

Dick fights the heaviness of his eyelids, but he’s so exhausted from the fighting, the bleeding, and the even more bleeding. Blacks and blues and reds begin blurring together like a messy oil painting. He huffs, his head hitting the concrete, the rain in his eyes. The moonlight reflects off the blue of his suit. It looks more vibrant, much more alive than he does now.

He wonders if you’re looking at the moon now like he is, and whether or not you’re thinking of him. (Fondly, he wants to add.) Are those sirens that he hears in the distance? Or is that just the sound of Gotham? The constant beating of the rain muffles everything. Your name slips off the tip of his tongue with a cough that looks too red to be any good, and then Dick watches the world around him go dark.

[hamartiannn]

Batfamily Headcanons - 1

-Bruce loves his kids. But, like really, his favorite time is always family dinners, patrols, or simply every second he spends time with all of his children.

-Yes, they sometimes get angry, and even they hurt each other, but no, no one can stay mad at one other forever. One hug, and it's all over.

-Sometimes, when everyone is around, they spend times WİTHOUT Bruce. They walk on the streets, eat ice cream, go to the shooting range, or walk by the ocean.

-But if they don't want to go outside, they are choosing a room and they spend their time in there mostly. Like they play board games, card games and more -and one day... one day, surely Jason will force them to start gambling/poker at home...-

-Damian and Jason are closer than everyone thinks. Damian had all his firsts with Jason. The first time he cried his eyes out, the first time shot a gun, the first time he slept/fell asleep next to someone, the first time he felt, undoubtedly, safe, and more, all were with him. And Jason was the same too; the first time he felt unjudged, the first time he felt like a big brother, the first time he felt at home, all were with Damian.

-Bruce, actually, can cook. This is not up for discussion... And yes, he learned that the hard way, but he eventually did, okay? Also, mostly, he learned it from Alfred, but as he likes to be "Creative" he creates his recipes, and somehow, every time, they turn out really good!!! And he likes to cook for his children. So family dinners are, always but like always, from Bruce "Cook" Wayne.

-Just like Bruce, Jason also likes to cook, and sometimes, if he has free time, dinners are from Jason "Cook" Todd.

-Okay, sorry, but they aren't scared of Alfred, like none of them, because they know he would never hurt them. But yes, they are afraid because no one knows his limits, even Bruce...

-Well... 2 words... Stoner Tim... That's the headcanon...

-And as Damian grew up with the smell of smoke because of Jason, he kinda likes it now. Yes, at first, he hated it, and he found smoking very stupid, but after Jason left him, he even missed that gross smell. So every time he smells cigarettes now, the old memories come back.

-Also, Bruce got some alcohol problems... He is an emotional drinker, so whenever he feels down, he ends up in the cellar. And no one knows about it. He got his own ways to keep it as a secret, even from Alfred.

-Dick and Roy started to smoke and drink together -for a while- after learning about Jason's death... Facts!!! -Also, Star had to have their backs, though, cause they were both really fucked up...-

-Okay, I don't care what anyone says... For me, they all love galas, balls, or such events. Because they feel "Normal"?? Yes, it's weird, I know but think about it. All of them are with Gotham's most-known people and families. Everyone is happy, laughing, and having some fun. Gotham's citizens are talking about that event, and also, they are having fun! I mean how many peaceful nights are out there in Gotham?? LET PEOPLE HAVE FUN WITH SUCH EVENTS!! ESPECİALLY WITH WAYNE GALAS!!! -But of course, they don't like to be dressed up. Like, who actually would??-

-So you know what? Three troublemakers of the family are the ones who graduate from a university except for Babs... (Barbara graduated from Gotham University School of Technology, Jason graduated from Gotham University School of Law, Stephanie graduated from Gotham University School of Design, and Damian graduated from Gotham University School of Science.)

-They all love all animals, soo much. But they got of course their superior animals:

Bruce: Bats (Do I have to explain??)

Selina: Cats (Well...)

Dick: Elephants (Zitka... Wait for a second pls, I'm crying...)

Barbara: Squirrels (I don't have any idea why but she reminds me of squirrels.)

Jason: Foxs (His surname means "Fox" as I know, and he is a redhead in some versions -just like foxs- and he is a redhead magnet, fair enough for me.)

Tim: Robins (This boy just has issues with Robin's, and being Robin. Like wth Tim???)

Stephanie: Canarys (Again I don't have any idea why but she is a canary.)

Cassandra: Spiders (She is silent, dangerous, and hella scary, just like a spider, perfect match!)

Damian: (Dude for him, it's better to be killed rather than make him choose an animal, like, are you kidding?)

Duke: Frogs (Don't know why, but just when I saw a yellow frog I was like "It's Duke..." They are soo cuteee!)

[forevermore-quoth-the-kitten]

Batfam as SAO Abriged Quotes Part 2, Because I Can

First | Current

Tim, Doing a Great Job at Making Lex’s Life Miserable And Enjoying Every Minute Of It: Well how would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

-

Some Villain: Someone so dead inside, he’d use a child as bait to lure me out.

Dick: Hood would never do something so horrible.

Jason: Oh no, she’s right, I totally did that. *points over his shoulder at the tied up and gagged Damian still in his Gotham Academy school uniform*

Dick: What?!

-

Steph: I will eND you, thot!!

-

Villain: How did you know I was lying?

Damian: Ah, you see, it’s quite simple, really. You see, I’m not an idiot.

Villain’s Goon: Yep, that would do it.

-

Duke: What the hell is that?

Babs: Well Signal, I believe the locals call it a, hex-a-gon? Not sure if I’m pronouncing that correctly, I’ll have to check back with you.

-

Jason: Sweetie, I’m gonna let you in on a little known secret of comedy. Bad things, aren’t funny, when they happen to Jay-Jay.

Lian: What about Daddy?

Jason: Oh Daddy’s fair game, go for the throat.

-

Cassie: Our team doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘surrender’.

Tim, from the background and on his back: But we’re willing to learn!

-

Tim, 110% Done With Ra’s Al Ghul and His Bullshit: Plans To Kidnap Him: Wow, this how you thank everyone who saves you? I can just feel the gratitude radiating off of you. Like a warm summer breeze wafting across the meadow . . . that Bambi’s mom was shot in.

Talia: *impressed by both the insult and the delivery*

Ra’s: *barely knows what Disney is outside of it’s existence as a major corporation, does not get it*

-

Babs, doing her Oracle thing with Dick tied up in her tower for his own safety since he has a broken leg: Even in that state I’m not convinced you won’t try to set me on fire with your mind  . . . *she freezes, turning around to deadpan at him as he glares* you’re trying to do it right now aren’t you?

Dick, whose little brothers are in danger: ssttaaaaaarreeeee

-

Jason: streaking through the snowy sky, on a sleight full of christmas cheer. The patron saint of prostitutes, look it up, Old Saint Nick.

Duke, slightly horrified because they’re reading a story to literal children: *shocked pickachu face*

-

Jason, Black Mask’s captive, does not give a shit since he’s already died once: No language on earth has a word for how little I care. A quantum supercomputer, calculating for a thousand years, could not even approach the number of fucks, I do not give.

Steph, with the others about to save him: *files that one away for later use*

-

Jason, the Ultimate Abridged Kirito Kinnie: Really? What part about that was out of character for me?

Tim, who he’d left to fight a whole gang by himself so he could go hit his favorite bakery before it closed: *flips him off*

-

Bruce, 17: Sorry, what was I talking about?

Alfred, a Tired Father: you were apologizing.

Bruce, Self Aware of his Issues, Mostly: that doesn’t sound like me.

-

Dick, young and dumb, over at Babs’ otherwise empty house: but uh, are you sure it’s ok for me to be over this late?

Babbara Gordon, Batgirl and badass to a fault, raising an eyebrow: why wouldn’t it be?

Dick, very very dumb: Oh sweet naive, stupid Barbara. *doesn’t notice her get up and dim the lights* you may not be able to see the dubious implications, but to a man as worldly as I- *open his eyes* Babs?

Barbara, stripped down to only her underwear and bra: why are your pants still on? are we doing this or what?

Dick, red faced, staring: *tea kettle noises*

-

Jason, standing up when the rest of the Batfamily got beaten down as we scattered around, unable to move: You know something? I really . . .  hate . . . people. *calls the All Blades and attacks the Untitled* They're selfish, ignorant, loud obnoxious pricks, with basically no redeeming qualities whatsoever! I mean really! Look at all they've achieved! Genocide, global warming, reality TV, and just a never ending parade of failures and fuck ups! They are, without question, a complete write-off of a species, AND HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CARE ABOUT THEM!!!!! *the untitled dies, Jason drops his swords, panting while stumbling in place* There. Everyone's safe. Now you can all go die for all I... care... *falls back, unconscious*

[theycallme-ook]

(I've been going insane about JPV again for the past few hours. Followers excuse me)

A new kid moves into the house. He's here bc you're the only ones who can protect him (his dad was weird and wanted to make him an assassin or something?? So. Batman level stuff) you don't get along. Eventually you form some bond and feel some protectiveness over him bc man this kid's life sucked until now. Showing him how to have fun is kinda nice. But then things get complicated when this.. Suit. This *thing* shows up in his dreams. He pursues it bc he's desperate for answers about his father and why his life is the way it is. He's not really happy and you can see that, so you help him but instead of closure you get robbed of you new brother best friend

Now you're living with Jean Paul and this *thing*. This other thing that puts on the suit and replaces your friend. And you love JP but you *hate* Azrael. They're both the same and yet not. One is gentle, soft spoken and kind. With a love of learning and helping people. Who will patch you up after a rough night with soft hands and awkward jokes that you laugh at anyways to make him feel better. The other is cruel, harsh and holier than thou. Always ready with a fiery tongue and fireier sword for anything it deems a "sinner" even tho you know Jean Paul would act completely different to that same person. You can't reconcile the two, and neither can JP. You don't know where one ends and the other begins and neither does he. You want nothing more than for him to put away the suit and never think about it again. He says he wants that too but he can't ever seem to do it. You're both confused and frustrated teens by now who have been through this cycle already. Things deteriorate.

You're hurt that at the end of the day JP will always choose Azrael over you, and frustrated at yourself for being frustrated bc Bruce and JP and everything has confirmed that he's not fully in control. But still. It's the estrangement of it all. You had a brother you used to be close with. But every day the spectre of his father drove you further and further apart until you barely recognize him anymore. No one else understands you like he does but at the same time you're strangers. Dick never quite stops being that hurt kid who can't understand why his brother can't stop living in the shadow of his dead father. JP never quite being able to explain that his father is dead but his shadow very much is not. They love each other but can never see eye to eye again. They're both people who want to help (and they do!) but they can't help the person closest to them. There's def some sort of teenage screaming match had about *why can't you just put the suit away* bc Dick just wants his brother back so if AZ could just fuck off forever things could go back to the way they used to be. It would be perfect if only the haunting of his blood wasn't there. JP sees this as further condemnation tho bc deep down he knows there's no getting rid of the system and if Dick hates Azrael then he hates *him*. Dick tries to get him to come up with a new identity, tries inviting him to the Titans, but JPV knows it isn't the kindness Dick pretends it is and that will always be Dick's team and he already poisoned Dick's family

The way this complicates things w Mr Bruce "I can fix them" Wayne too.. B might be able to be more pragmatic about it any not hold onto the idea that they can get rid of Azrael, but he would fixate on the idea that he can change it. He acknowledges that the system has existed for centuries and probably still will exist for centuries more if the order has their way, but that's the thing. *He* has the order's darling weapon now, not them. And if he could just teach it that things aren't so black and white then maybe poor Jean Paul could have some peace again. He'll try so hard to save him and then blame himself when he can't help.

Ouaghh... Babs being close w JP since her Batgirl days.. she keeps an eye on him. they trade CS jokes. she offers him work at the belltower they know he won't take.

you're a street rat from Gotham. you move into *the* Bruce Wayne's house. you hear about dick grayson, the prodigal son,the golden one. but there's another one, one that is a cautionary tale in hushed words. a blond man shows up for thanksgiving and speaks softly but he always seems like he doesn't fully fit. he's nice. he talks to you about books you've never heard of. you wonder who he is.

You see Dick looking at him with this sad but longing look when the man is turned away. Bruce asks how grad school is going and he says it's going good. Dick tries to relate with his college experiences but something he says kills the conversation somehow. Things are clipped and stilted between them but they still share a desperate hug at the end of the night. They make half hearted promises to do better at staying in touch this year. They don't.

Later you're on a case with Nightwing and you run into some guy in red with a sword. He's just standing there but Nightwing gets *really* agitated upon seeing him. This guy, Azrael, seems very disinterested in Nightwing but they appear to know each other very well. Nightwing tells you to stay back. Azrael sounds exasperated when he reminds him he doesn't hurt kids. Nightwing snapped that that didn't stop him years ago. Azrael says that was different. They almost fight but then back off and focus on the case which is odd bc you were sure this was about to get ugly. This tense clearly-they-have-history-but-will-tolerate-each-other thing continues for the rest of the night until Azrael goes too hard on the criminal of the hour and Nightwing gets into a full blown brawl w him over it. You try to break them up bc honestly from what you've seen Azrael seems like a decent ally aside from a few flaws but Nightwing is absolutely *furious* about this in a way you've never seen him act before so you don't quite know how to approach this. It ends when Nightwing manages to rip off the guys weird knight mask to reveal... The nerdy blond dude from Thanksgiving. Jean Claude, was it? And they both instantly stop. Scuffed up and breathing hard but showing no signs of hostility, almost as if there was never a fight at all. The Az guy seems confused as to why he's there and what's happening. He knows Dick's ID (not too surprising with the familiar way to was talking to the others but still. It's weird since Jason barely knows anything about him) and they seem more friendly w each other all of a sudden but Jason doesn't know what.. happened. How did they go from trying to strangle each other to this?

"What's- oh. Dick?"

"Hey, Jean Paul."

"I did it again, huh?" Weak laughter. "Where are we now?"

"Miller harbor."

"Ah."

"..."

"..."

"Did I do that?"

"Nah, we were tracking some smugglers. One got a lucky hit and pushed me into some trash."

A lie. Jason had watched Azrael slam Nightwing's face into a wall himself. But he knew better than to speak up. Jean Paul clearly needed this little kindness.

"Ah... Okay..." He swayed sharply, none of the confidence and self assurance present in the posture of Azrael remained. He was just back to the regular, dopey guy Jason had met before now that the mask was lying flush on the dingy concrete. One that, judging by his face, looked like he might hurl soon.

"Do you want to come back with us?"

"No, no. I have a quiz in the morning. I have to be there for that."

"Ah. Right. Do you.. can I call you a cab?"

"No, it's fine."

Jason glanced between the two of them. This went unnoticed by his persons of interest. They were too busy avoiding looking at each other.

"I'll stop this," Jean Paul said, suddenly solemn.

"Yeah, okay," Dick replied, exhaustion ringing around the edges.

Had Jason missed something? Had they just had a whole conservation in the silence?

"Will you be at dinner on Saturday?" Dick continued, an energy suddenly injected about as naturally as a needle.

"Will you?"

(made in tandem w @msperfectsheep-posts )

sometimes JPV and Az make me so sad i have to send Bruce out to go get another ward

[browniesarethebest]

Easy-ish question for your list a person and you’ll tell us about your headcannons. This can be however long you like:

Dick Grayson

Lol this was the character I was expecting if I thought anyone was gonna send me one.

Favorite Thing About Them: There's so many things I could say. I think I have to go with the fact that everyone loves him. Like, he is probably the most trusted hero in the DC universe and is literally the hope for the heroes (which is why they keep killing him in every elseworlds comic.

Least Favorite Thing About Them: That he doesn't really address the fucked up things Bruce has done to him or just lets it go fairly quickly. Boy needs to learn how to stand up for himself better.

Favorite Line: "You only have to...You just remember. Sometimes you stand on the edge. And there's a monster on the other side. And you tell him...You just tell that monster: Come on...Come on, Big Boy! I'm still waiting for you!" - Grayson #5 (I think) (What a beautiful call back)

BrOTP: Gotta go with Dick and Wally or Dick and Jason. I love them both. I don't say Dick and Damian because they're more like Father/Son to me.

OTP: DickKory 100%. I used to equally ship him with Babs but I figured out in the last year that I prefer him with Kory (I would also take a triad with him, Kory, and Wally tbh)

nOTP: Sladick or DickxSlade. No. Just no.

Random Headcanon: I don’t know why it’s hard to think of any so I’ll go with the first one that popped into my head: Dick can definitely sing. Even when he’s not played by Jesse McCartney, I think he likes to sing, especially in the car, and he’s actually good at it.

Unpopular Opinion: I’m not actually sure? I can’t actually think of anything I believe that is unpopular. I suppose I could say I’m torn between 8-year-old Dick being an absolute sweetheart and the most feral child in the DCU. I tend to write him more as sweet, and I know some people prefer him more feral, especially when he first comes to the Manor. I do think some people take the feralness too far sometimes, such as becoming physically violent towards Bruce when he first comes to the Manor.

Song I Associate With Them: So many. I think if I had to pick one I would pick Human by Rag n’ Bones Just because the lyrics hit hard with Dick being put on a pedestal by everyone else. I would also pick Hero by Skillet. I love that song and I think it fits.

Favorite Picture of Them: I was going to put a different one and then I remembered this one-

He’s so cute! Look how little he is!

[deadletterpoets]

If you had a chance to write for cass cain, what would you write and what would you do with her character? :D

Wow that is a big question that frankly as many answers so I'm just gonna stick with one as to not have this go on forever. Answer under the cut cause this got long lol

I'd really just want to explore her drive that makes her want to be a hero. What motivates her? Why does wearing the symbol matter to her? Does she feel like she deserves it? Like those would be the types of questions I'd want to ask throughout my whole run.

I'd make her panromantic asexual. I'd find someone to cowrite or consult, but that is definitely a journey she'd go on. I always felt like romance and sex would be such unique experiences for her and intimacy for her would be more about kisses and touching and just being around the person more than sex, but I know not everyone agrees with that (and I'm not saying this cause she's Asian or cause I'm trying to woobify her cause Asians can't have sex or whatever. Just throwing that out there cause ppl seem to think that these days. This is specific for Cass not a comment on all Asian characters.)

I'd have her make a LOT more friends outside the batfam. Bring back Brenda from her OG Batgirl run. Bring back Christine from the League of Shadows arc. Let her meet other heroes like Kenan and Baixi, and the whole of the JLC cause seriously she should. Have her go on adventures with Connor, Emiko, and Rose (Damian shouldn't get all the fun with the cool assassin characters). Have her meet Vic Sage (I think he's alive again idk) and Richard Dragon and learn more about her mother's past so she can learn more about her heritage.

And yes I would do something with Shiva as well, though it wouldn't be them fighting (each other at least). I want them to build a respect for each other. Cass doesn't like that Shiva doesn't see the value of life in the way she does, and Shiva doesn't like that Cass is comfortable wearing a Bat symbol and living by such strict morals, but they agree the other won't change and instead just agree to not get in the other's way. But if they ever need the other, they are there for each other as well. (Hopefully this could lead to solo Shiva stories and just fucking stop making everything she does about Cass, please.)

Though I wouldn't ignore the batfam. I've said before I think Cass and Steph, if both are gonna be Batgirl, should be used like how Marvel used Jessica Drew and Carol Danvers. They have separate books, but are basically supporting characters in each others books. That way neither characters story is compromised for the other, but they also aren't Batgirl2009 where one just has to disappear to make the other relevant. Remind ppl that Cass and Tim have a great sibling dynamic. Continue to build on the Cass/Duke sibling dynamic. Bring back Harper into her life ON PANEL. Refocus on her and Kate, they made up off panel, but I'd show the tension still exist and show them working through that. Obviously rebuild her and Babs MOTHER/DAUGHTER dynamic. None of this "older sister" crap. And of course build on her and Bruce and strongly hint that she wants to be Batman.

The types of stories I'd do would have a very wide range. I'd do everything from street level detective stories to cosmic space journeys to fighting tournaments to one shot romance date nights to team ups to whatever else I think of. I want Cass to be given as much range as a character as everyone else (which is something I feel is really missing for her right now). And she'd go up against all types of villains as well. I'm not gonna list a ton of villains cause that'd take forever, but classic and originals for sure.

In the end what drives her as a hero is more than her guilt, but her want to do good. Simple as that. She is the type of character that sees injustice or bad people doing bad and will step in to intervene. Her moral compass and compassion rivals Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman and that would be on full display. Why does she wear the symbol? Again simply because she believes in what it is meant too represent not only to Gotham but the universe. It strikes fear in the criminals and brings hope to the innocent. Whether she feels she deserves it is the question she might never answer, but she'll work forever until she gets there.

That's just a small idea of what I'd do and it's not a perfect idea, nor is it the only idea of a way to do a Cass run. Just one of the ways I'd do it.

Thanks for the question

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

Stephanie Brown was Robin for 104 days before she was fired.

There had been, also, the three month training period beforehand. Apparently, she had had the shortest training period of Robin (Dick had trained for a year, Jason had trained for 13 months, and after Tim’s first brief stint as Robin he’d trained for 7 months). Overall, it’s a record to be proud of.

She had helped stop 215 violent crimes. 43 criminals were charged with federal offenses due to work she did as Robin. She learned how to code in 23 different coding languages. She learned seven new languages. She could only do a quarter as many pull ups as Bruce, and she could only run four miles before having to stop to pant for breath to Bruce’s 32.

She would never be as good as her predecessors. It was in Bruce’s every sigh, his every scold. It was in the display case of a torn Robin suit in the Batcave.

Stephanie's Robin had been different. Because her training period had been so short, Bruce had taught her what he felt were the most important skills of being a vigilante. Do not let your fear control you. Always try your best to think before you act. Learn to fall before you learn to be Robin. Check your gear every night you go out. Above all, you listen to me.

Stephanie wasn’t so good at the last rule. No Robins were. She was upholding a very noble tradition.

***

“Found our perp,” Steph said around a mouthful of M&M’s.

“Hmm,” Bruce said and took a sip of his slushie she had made Bruce buy. She’d told him to get Mountain Dew and Banana. The lack of complete expression on his face told her Bruce thought it was one of the worst things he’d ever had in his life.

“I’ll take that off your hands for you,” Steph said.

“Please,” Bruce muttered.

***

Being Robin was simultaneously some of the best and worst experiences of her life. Bruce yelled at her every other day, and kind words were sparing. Some nights, it felt like she never did anything at all but follow behind Batman and feel small and lost.

But those few seconds between flinging herself into the air and catching herself with a grapple? She lived for that. All the Robins loved flying.

Cassandra Cain was on another level. In any given spar with Bruce, she could knock him on his ass nearly a majority of the time. She was so in control of her body Stephanie couldn’t even be jealous the way she was with Dick, because Cass was so far beyond anything Steph could even hope to achieve it didn’t matter.

Cass never minded that Steph said weird shit or made jokes that were only funny to herself (Steph was a comedian, okay? If you throw enough at the wall, some of them stick. Some don’t, though). Steph had done alright in school, and she was funny and fairly pretty, but because of her parents and then because of her extracurricular activities Steph had never really had a best friend before. Cass, though, was just as weird as Steph. One of her favorite hobbies was going to Target and making Steph push her around in the shopping carts. She genuinely loved pickle juice to an absolutely disgusting degree. She liked to listen to Jersey Shore and then copy lines to tell Bruce. Cass was the best friend Steph ever had.

Steph, despite any appearances to the contrary, was an intense person, and she had never had any deep connections with people because it had never seemed like anyone got her. Tim, for a time, had gotten her. Tim was just as intense and self-obsessed and weird as Steph was at that age, and the mantle of Robin was almost mythologic at that point and Tim was hot and cool and smart and seemed to think Steph was hot and cool and smart. Tim and Steph, at 14 and 15 respectively, had both very badly wanted to be seen and held and appreciated by someone else.

Growing up means outgrowing the person you used to be. It means the people you grow up with change, too. Tim was Tim Drake, and then he was Robin, and then for a while he wasn’t anything, and then he was Robin again and then he was Red Robin. Steph had been Stephanie Brown, and then she had been Spoiler, and then she’d been Robin and Spoiler and then she had been Batgirl. At some point, none of those identities fit together. And it sucked. But it was okay. She’d been in love with Tim at 15 in the only way she could have been in love at 15, and it wasn’t until she was older that she realized little-Steph’s thoughts that Tim Drake was the only boy she would ever love were both incredibly dramatic and also very sincere in a way that she missed.

Training with Barbara Gordon was even harder than training as Robin. Bruce had been training her to be a vigilante first, to get her the skills she needed, and to be a Robin second. Bruce, almost as soon he decided to train her, had realized Steph would never really be his Robin. Steph had understood this. Steph didn’t try to be Bruce’s Robin, or Dick’s or Tim’s (or Jason’s). She’d only tangentially been a Robin. A New-Robin. A Maybe-Robin. A Blonde-Robin and a Girl-Robin and the Girl Wonder and the Robin who was the first Robin to turn her head too fast and whack Batman in the face with her thick braid. Nightwing laughed so hard he cried. Steph had had no real expectations to live up to besides not dying, and she nearly fucked that one up, too.

Barbara had decided she had expectations for Steph. Babs and Cass both thought she was ready to be the next Batgirl (after a few more months of training, obviously. Dinah Lance hit like a motherfucker). Steph had wanted to be Robin, because every self-respecting boy and girl in Gotham wanted to be Robin. Even the kids from the worst parts of town, who’s parents spat about the Batman, pretended to be Robin in the streets.

Batgirl was different. When Barbara had started, she had worked with Batman, was obviously associated with him, had been trained extensively by him, but she was still her own vigilante. She had her own parts of town to patrol, her own investigations to pursue, her own people to call on in times of need. Robin was never allowed to age, not allowed to stray too far from Batman’s bulletproof cape. Batgirl was something both more profound and more real than Robin.

Steph had a legacy to live up to. Steph had several legacies to live up to. Batgirl had been something new that she could make hers in a way she would never be able to make Robin hers. It was a hard grueling task, and half the time Steph thought maybe she really wasn’t ready, but then Babs would give her a hand up, or Cass would smile teasingly at her and give her a water bottle, and Steph thought maybe she should let her self-deprecating thoughts take a backseat for a while.

Stephanie Brown loved the feeling of free-fall. All Batgirls did.