#fuck u leslie

[cowchickenbeefpork]

why didn't Gotham make Edward hallucinate corpses more and why was the one time he did it with him look like a corpse they barely did. gotham make them insanely fucked up looking and make Edward's skin crawl

[cherrysnax]

when it comes to workers n creatives rights, specifically those in the industry I always feel so like conflicted abt shit like. pay ur workers or die, but why didn’t they cancel the flash…

ezra millers various crimes aside, they were workin on that shit since I was in high school and apparently it was booty ass?? worse than booty ass?? and the whole movie got leaked too.. Like when u have a situation like that what do you do

[nygleskas]

*taps mic and gets way too close to it* uhhh i was thinking abt pre-canon jr2 with Everyone But Them Knows trope. and so i jotted things down. and now i am sharing them.

ok so. Lisa. she def knows abt my crush bc she's my bestie obvi

but she's like soo annoying about it hsHND

g-d i can see her taking a picture of me unintentionally making heart eyes to jean and she tweets it with that homophobic 'i know what you are' dog meme HSHNWHLJ

ok wATI imagine their dad sees that on twitter and replies to it w like 'They seem like very good friends :)' LGNSLNDJHR he would .. (also thats not in a bad way per se like he supports the alphabet community.. he has the gay flag in his bio thinking it's for showing support. He's a lil confused but he has the spirit).

ok.. tommy t. i think tom knows a bit…

he's like 'yeah i'm really picking up some Vibes. really sensing some stuff' (and me being in denial like Wtf. there are no Vibes to be Had here. shut up?).

OK WAITT Quick switch up. If we're talking abt whether tom knows jean likes me .. ,':/ .. i don't think he tells him outwright. but tom figures it out ykno.

like maybe we're all hanging out somewhere and tom n jean are off somewhere talking or wtvrand tom asks if he;s interested in anyone. nd jean's like umm yeah i think so. tom's probably abt to ask who it is and then i show up to ask smth and tom just puts the pieces together.. u know the gif where he's just like :D yeah he does that wSHND. (tom: :D | me: why are you smiling.. weirdo)

tom Then becomes annoying abt it ahsjf

he and lisa quietly but obviously trying to nudge us together jdnfkng. worlds most annoying wingman and wingwoman <3

ok back tothe main point. Ben. .. doesn't know but if he did i bet he's like Yeah that makes sense wldnhjg

oh donna knows for sure. i didn't tell her she just immediately picked up on it WHSNHNS.

uhhh ann and leslie……. oh they don't know at all wSHNK

Listen it's enough that i'm friends with him i don't think they could handle me Liking him HTNKHS

esp leslie like she'd for sure be like ':/… Reallyyyy?….. you sure??' wkehsHNDK

[dappio]

I wanna make a super cut at of all Sebastian’s amazing lines in TEW

[webslingingslasher]

Not to be annoying but I rlly hope u write some kind of blurb for the jealous frat!Peter when someone flirts w reader after they are officially boyfriend girlfriend bc u wanna assess what kind of relationship they'll have after all the emotional trauma and angstttttt (idk if u got my first ask though)

*cleaning out my inbox*

kisses scattered across your face woke you up, hair tickled your nose, and you showed you were awake by lightly pushing on peter’s shoulder. it's just too early.

'can't snooze me, trouble. you're the one that told me to wake you up.' another round of kisses, your wake up call isn't that terrible. 'c'mon, up and at 'em. you've got a midterm to study for, leslie's waiting for you.'

his reasoning doesn't make you move any quicker, it was on leslie for choosing saturday morning as peak study time. you weren't even able to hang at the party last night, instead you hunkered down in peter's room and lightly woke when he crawled into bed around one to tug you into his side.

'it's so early.' peter pouts against your cheek, 'you'll survive. you've been putting in overtime this week. i swear that you've hung out with leslie everyday.' it's true, and like peter said before your first study session 'you'll feel your brain grow, super proud of you.' there's no question you'll ace the midterm.

'promise me you'll let me sleep in tomorrow?' a flurry of kisses, you savor them, you know it's the last attack of the day. 'you got it.'

---

peter thought you could use a little pick me up, so, he gladly walked into the library doors with your favorite fast food. it might've been slightly selfish, because he knows he just won himself some brownie points.

it took him a minute, but he found you. back in the study section, lightly kicking your feet under the table. you were nodding your head while chewing on the end of your pen, peter's heart picked up; he couldn't wait to see the look on your face.

you laugh, he smiles. peter moves around a bookcase and comes to a sudden stop. sitting right next to you, was a guy. he had your total attention, no other sign of people around you, peter couldn't even try to pretend it had turned into a last minute group session.

peter finds it hard to swallow, it's not that you're not allowed to hang out with guys, it's the fact that you lied about it. was there ever a leslie, or was it code for this guy the whole time?

the answer will be in your reaction, and he's about to catch you. you don't see him coming, your eyes flash to the bag on the table then to the hand setting it down. you almost burst at the seams, a surprise visit and your favorite food.

'peter!' you wince at your tone, a nasty look from the table next to you gets a silent apology. 'what are you doing here?' you're already digging through the bag, you miss the inspection he's doing on your study partner. you also miss the way he's avoiding peter's eyes.

'just wanted to say hi,' you chew on a fry and hold your mouth closed while you pucker, a chaste kiss. 'hi.' you swallow and tap on the arm next to you, peter follows the motion closely. 'have you met peter yet?'

'uh, no.' he scoots closer to the table, you shrug and look up at peter. he has his focus on leslie, it seems more intimidating than friendly. when your study buddy looks to you for help, peter loses it.

'trouble? wanna come talk to me for a minute?' you frown, your fries are at the perfect temperature. 'but, you-' the look in peter's eyes tells you he isn't playing, a sense of urgency has you scooting your chair back.

the second you're ducked behind a shelf, it spits out. 'who the fuck is that?' peter's tone has you drawing your head back, it's sudden and aggressive. 'who, leslie?' he laughs, 'nice try, who is he?'

it feels accusatory, you take a slight step back. 'that's leslie, peter.' he snorts, 'and you left out the fact he's a guy?' the reason for his sudden change makes you feel dirty, you don't like how he's directing his words.

'i didn't feel like it had to be spesified.' peter nods sarcastically, 'so i tell you i'm hanging out with... jordan, and i've been around them for hours a day, for the entire week then you find out it's a chick and you wouldn't mind? not even a little bit?'

'it depends on what you're doing with her.' a dry laugh, 'you knew exactly what the fuck you were doing with that name shit. don't stand here and tell me i'm the idiot.'

he's making you feel sad, you don't understand how peter could think of you like that. 'i don't understand why you're so upset.' peter tugs at his snapback, scratching at his curls, he replaces it.

'because you're my fucking girlfriend.'

your arms cross, 'so i can no longer hang out with any other guy?' maybe you were being a little difficult, but he's the one that implied you were cheating, or at the very least capable of it.

'jesus christ, that's what you jump to? no, honey-' the name sounded sour, '-it's the fact that you knew i'd think he was a girl and you didn't try to change that.'

'i don't see why it matters.' peter feels like he's talking in circles and he really wants to break from the conversation because he can feel his frustration building, he's about to start saying things he'll regret.

'it doesn't!' you pull on his arm with wide eyes, your head spins to look around. peter brings himself to a whisper shout, 'it doesn't fucking matter, but it starts to matter when you lie to me.'

'don't make it seem like i'm cheating on you.' you tried to ease him down, like the two had nothing in common. it was the wrong choice of words, a fire blazed in peter's eyes. you stepped back when peter pointed a finger at you, for once, he's making you feel really small.

'you're the one who brought up cheating. go back to your fucking friend, i'm done.'

you try to grab onto his wrist, but peter shakes you off like you're nothing. 'peter,' he has no interest in what you have to say, you can't follow him, he's too quick. 'peter!'

when he's out of sight you look down at the ground and sigh. peter was right, you knew what you were doing by alluding to the fact leslie was a girl. and peter doesn't care when you hang out with other guys, but because you left that part out, you've been lying by omission and it makes everything seem worse than it is.

you just don't know what he meant by 'i'm done,' and you really hope it just pertains to the conversation. either way, you shuffle back to your table with a tail between your legs and hope to god peter would let you apologize.

---

gentle knocks at the frat door, you were scared that if you gave peter a heads up, he'd bolt.

'uh oh, you're in trouble.' ethan has a smug look, it tells you that he's been preparing for you to show up. 'how much?' you need to know your chances before you can think of your plea bargain.

ethan wavers, 'he was... upset.' you hold your face between your hands as you slide in, mumbling out a 'fuck,' before building confidence to move up the stairs.

you lightly tap on your boyfriend's door, when there's no response you slowly twist the door knob. peter's lying on his bed, ankles crossed while a book covers his face.

'peter?' the door clicks shut. you timidly step forward, 'petey?' nothing from him, just a slight adjustment and he's back to reading. 'did we break up?'

the book drops, you're looking right at him. 'no, we didn't break up.' you can breathe a little bit better even if he went back to glaring at words, the main anxiety was flushed. 'okay, good.' you reach the end of his bed, rubbing at his shin you try to soften him up.

'i love you.' peter has a very unimpressed glance when you capture his total attention by taking a seat, pushing into his thighs. 'i don't know why i didn't tell you leslie was a guy, i mean, i honestly forgot but when you started saying she... i didn't correct you.' your fingers twiddle with the band of his watch, 'and i don't know why, i guess i wasn't thinking about it like that. but yeah, i'd feel a bit cheated if you did the same to me.'

'you keep saying cheat.'

cheating is almost number one in things you should never do to your partner, but for some reason, it really hits something in peter. just saying the word, out of context, has him pulling from your touch.

'peter, c'mon, stop it. you know what i mean. i'd never, ever cheat on you. i love you too much. i was on the spot and i thought you were implying i was cheating, and i was trying to say i wasn't cheating but then i think you took that as a guilty conscious coming forward and admitting i was cheat-'

'please stop saying cheating. please.'

you hold your mouth shut, a sheepish look crosses over your face. 'sorry.' it comes out as a mumble, it's an uncomfortable silence. you don't really know what to say, or do. you smash repetitive clicks on the side button of peter's watch, when you take a peek, he's watching your hands.

you're really trying, but you need to wash away any idea of it from his head. 'it's just that i never want you to think i'm cheating-' you're shocked into silence when peter rips his arm from you.

'fucking quit it with the cheating, trouble.' you open and close your mouth like a guppy, nothing sounds right. 'i know you don't like it, but i just need you to know that me hiding that leslie was a guy didn't mean i was trying to-'

'say cheat one more time, i fucking dare you.'

you stay silent. 'i don't know how to fix it, peter. i'm sorry i lied, and i’m sorry i keep saying the 'c' word.' you jump at peter's stage claps, you never knew how sarcastic a noise could sound.

'there we go! that was hard, huh?' it leaves a bad taste in your mouth, you frown at him. 'you don't need to be so condescending.' peter snorts, 'and you don't need to be lying about girls who are guys that wanna fuck you.'

you freeze on the spot, pushing the words out like they'll make you puke if you think too hard about them. 'leslie doesn't want to fuck me.' peter nudges your back with his knee, 'you're cute.'

you shake your head, 'i mean it. he knows you're my boyfriend, i talk about you all the time.'

'that's so cute, you're so cute.' you push his arm, 'i mean it, peter! i promise he wants nothing to do with me, he even told me he likes someone else.'

peter plays along for the sake of it, 'oh, yeah? he does? let me guess... it's someone you know.' you light up, 'yes! he wouldn't tell me if we were friends, but he said i know her!'

'right, right. and she's super pretty, right? maybe a little outgoing?' it's impressing how well peter knows this. 'yes-' peter keeps going, 'maybe intimidating because she'd never notice him? and how she might not be into a guy like him?'

peter's ticked every single box; your eyebrows furrow, a supercut of every moment you've had with your study partner runs through your mind. you see where you've been dumb on hints, and how you very much are... the girl you know.

'and that might be because she...' you fill in the blanks with shame, 'has a boyfriend.' it's muttered in a deep tone, pitch mocking peter's next words.

a brew of frustration, not on peter, but on men in general. you can't even study without being hunted? and why the fuck does peter know the game so well?

'this is bullshit! what the fuck is your problem?' you stand and glare down at peter, demanding him to answer on behalf of the world's male population. peter holds a hand on his chest, 'what the fuck is my problem? i don't know, what did i do?'

'you!' you point at him, again, a placeholder for all feminine rage. 'you fucking- you're a... you're a man and you suck and why am i constantly fucking sexualized? all i wanted-' you suck in for air, you don't know why you feel a lump in your throat, is this something really worth crying over? yes.

'all i wanted was a friend.' no tears, you're full of anger again. who does that to a person? 'and the whole time i'm being baited? i just wanted to pass my fucking class, peter! i wanted to do it without your help and the second i don't have a fucking man tied to my hip, i'm being plotted against?'

'trouble,' peter's heart hurts and you can hear it.

'no! it's so unfair, and it's unfair that you'll never understand it. it's unfair that i have to live my entire life afraid of what's behind my shoulder. it's unfair that i can't be left alone. even when i make it clear i already have the person i want. it's just-'

you sink next to peter, he sits up to hug you. 'unfair. it's really, really unfair and i'm sorry i can't relate or understand. i'm sorry you thought you had a friend, i'm sorry you feel like you can't relax, and i'm sorry i rubbed it in your face.'

he did rub it in your face.

'you have plenty of guy friends with good intentions that would do anything to keep you out of harm's way. that includes calling out other guys that may not have them, but i could've been nicer. i'm sorry i'm just a man sometimes. i'll work on it, i promise.'

you melt into his touch, peter is very much just a man sometimes. but he's your man and always good at calling himself out when he needs it. 'is that why you thought i cheated on you?'

'the next time you say cheat, you owe me twenty bucks.' you ignore the quip, 'is it?'

peter scoffs as he rubs your back. 'i didn't think you were cheating, trouble. i was upset that my girlfriend was lying about who she was hanging out with.' a slew of kisses to your hairline follow.

'and maybe a little jealous.' you laugh, there's nothing for him to be jealous over, but he's super serious and pulls away to cup your face so you're looking right at him. 

'because you're my baby, and i need it to stay that way.'

[mysterycitrus]

I love the version of Jason Todd that exists in your fic so I just want to ask: do you think it's possible for Jason to ever have a meaningful actual relationship with the batfam ever again? Ik some bridges have been fully burned but if he does change his ways, do you think that's possible?

to be blunt — no, i don’t think so.

a huge part of my problem w rebirth and new52 is they pushed jason into an overly familial relationship with everyone else but were too pussy shit to actually grapple with how he’d fit into that space realistically, or what the other characters would think of him being there in the first place. every character, including jason, has to get their edges sawn off to make the pieces fit together

jason being reintegrated into the batfamily would require a) an apology, and b) a moral concession, from one or both parties. cass and tim and steph and damian and dick aren’t apologising because jason kills people. jason isn’t apologising because he disagrees with their no-kill policy. none of those characters are conceding because what jason is doing is fundamentally opposed to their morality as a unit. jason has no reason to want to pursue a relationship with any of them because of their allegiance to bruce. what does anyone benefit here

u could have jason organically moving on from the anti hero life and denouncing lethal violence but that still wouldn’t mend those relationships. speaking frankly, the only ones in the family who would care about jason would be bruce and alfred and leslie and dick and barbara. no one else knew him before his death. there’s no substantive reason why these other characters would risk their own integrity for that relationship. why would they care, really

a competent writer who understands the narrative stakes could hypothetically do something interesting, but i doubt that’ll happen. he fits in an awkward spot with a lot of overlap on dick and helena and jpv and there’s just so much baggage there. so much had to be sacrificed for him to wear that silly bat on his chest. i wish they’d let him say fuck off and go back to having a backbone

[raccoonspooky]

Your "slashers react to babygirlfication" post is hilarious, but I'm curious how'd they react to the number of fans who see them as father figures 🙌

Pfft okay so I took some time to ponder the concept and I present:

Slashers react to choosing and being chosen to be father figures.

Sorry u stinky men covered in blood. Ur a dad now. U cannot run, u cannot hide.

Characters included: Bubba Sawyer, Thomas Hewitt, Billy Loomis, Leslie Vernon, Brahms Heelshire, Michael Myers, Patrick Bateman, Bo Sinclair, Vincent Sinclair, Billy Lenz

2k words. SFW, mild references to nsfw but not for horny purposes. Gender Neutral. Second person. Silly, sometimes surprisingly cute. Sometimes surprisingly stupid. Ur an adult. No Y/N is used here.

Not everything ends in a fatherly dynamic, but it's always familial except for stupid Bo. Most are from the killer's POV. This is intended to be a realistic take on the subject, please expect canon behavior and violence.

Leatherface:

Bubba’s closeness is a little overbearing, to be honest. You don’t hate it. No one you’ve ever met has been so eager to be with you every moment of every day. You’ve begun to appreciate everything he does for the farm in a new light. He works hard and you want to be just as solid and hard-working as him. Bubba is used to everyone belittling him and for you to see him as someone fully functioning, someone you want to learn from or take after is just seemingly wrong. He’s not a daddy. He can't remember his own daddy so he’s pretty sure that he’s not someone to be seen as fatherly. He understands wanting to feel safe more than anyone else so he sort of gets it.

Nonetheless, it's all very confusing. But… you’re so smart, he trusts you… you can’t be wrong about anything. If looking up to him makes you happy, he’ll do his best to be the person you see him as. Expect almost comically fatherly behavior. This guy is gonna demand you go to bed at sundown and eat ALL your food. He’s gonna give you tripled servings of veggies and insist that dandelions are good for you. He’s gonna put his hands on his hips and stomp around mumbling frustratedly because that seems to be all that Drayton does and it’s gonna be hard to not laugh at it all. 

That being said, if you leaned into his mother-hen aspects, he’d fucking love it. He wants to brush your hair and make you pretty. He wants to plant flowers and squawk and squeal over boxes of jewelry and makeup. He leans into a motherly role easily and he loves taking care of someone happy to receive it. He starts carrying around a purse because duh, that’s what mothers do. In the purse is a bunch of cool rocks, chicken feathers and the occasional worm or mouse or something. Expect to see the pretty lady mask much more often. 

Thomas Hewitt:

It's hard to determine much of anything he's thinking or feeling due to the mask. You slipped on something the other day and Thomas didn’t seem to appreciate the resulting calamity. He stomped up the stairs and grabbed you by the armpits to hoist you up in order to check you for damage. He grabbed your head like a basketball to inspect it for damage and you took it to mean that he cares about your well being. Communication isn’t his strong suit but he cares… at least you think he does. He’s unaware of the role you’ve slotted him into but he’s been giving you things to do and he tolerates you in his vicinity.

With gestures and the occasional huff of breath, he sat you in front of some scrap wood and you quickly realized that he wanted you to check for wood rot. It felt good to be given a task and perhaps your happiness alluded to your thoughts because he’s been showing you all sorts of things and how to use a bunch of tools. There’s a certain approving grunt he does that’s become your favorite thing to hear. You've started to not hate waking up at the crack of dawn. You wonder if he’ll one day let you work with leather. Maybe he’ll teach you to tan it?

Billy Loomis:

This is amongst the worst possible characters you could’ve possibly chosen to see as a father figure.

First of all, he’s barely out of high school and second of all, his expectations are high and impossible to achieve. He wants a protege, he wants to create a killer that he refined with his own hands but unfortunately, he's stupid. Unfortunately, he gets stuck in long-winded rants about the power of a knife and blah blah blah movie reference blah blah.

The asshole’s given you fucking homework and on top of that, he keeps making you go get him slurpies and vape refills from 7/11. It's the worst. You thought he was some kind of mastermind killer but he smells like axe bodyspray and keeps talking to you about his expert manipulation skills when you saw him fully kick a trashcan when someone refused his fake ID at a bar. You’d like to get onto some KILLING lessons or maybe see the Ghostface with your own eyes, but so far most of what you’ve seen is him checking himself out in mirrors.

You're beginning to think you could definitely kick his ass and everything he’s managed so far has been a genuine fluke. You feel as if you’ve looked up to Ghostface for so long that the real deal is a huge disappointment. Perhaps it’s time for a new ghost to take up residency.

Leslie Vernon:

This is what he’s doing all of this for. It's the height of killer fame to retire and let your successor take up the reins. He’ll fade into memory and fearful recollection and he’ll make you a mask of your very own so you can continue his legacy. He’s been planning for this for years down to the itty bitty specifics. You’re gonna be some down-on-your-luck kid and you’re gonna make some rookie mistake with your first crime and then he’s gonna get you out of a pickle and the rest is history. At least… that's how it works in the movies.

With all the planning he’s put into this, it’s gonna work out perfectly. You haven't seen him yet but he’s seen you. You're perfect. He can already feel the fatherly love slamming some burgers onto a grill inside of him. Maybe the two of you can play ball with someone’s cut out heart. Wouldn’t that be something huh? Alright, squirt let's get this shebang started! He’s just gotta put the finishing touches on the whole orphaning thing…. 

Brahms Heelshire:

You were lonely in this dead place. That much was obvious.

Brahms knew the feeling. Meeting you went smoother than it regularly went, but there was a clear roadblock in place when it came to taking care of him. You don’t follow the rules at all and that’s just unacceptable. You can't both be babied, that’s not gonna work!

Despite your inability to give him the structure he needs, he decides that just being around you is better than nothing. You seemingly don’t mind quiet and he's happy just to be seen. Even if you both need something that neither of you are able to provide, it's nice to just exist without fear or the worrisome concept of rejection.

In silence, the dusty air settled and it was easy to find some solidarity between you both. Both of you were hugely in need of someone to cling to. You’re scared and so is he. It’s… nice to know that someone else understands his feelings so well. You settle into an easy routine, eating together and sleeping in the same room... It takes a while but he begins to piece together the idea that if he wants to be mommied, maybe you need a daddy? Maybe you just need someone else to look to when you’re feeling alone and scared. Really, that’s all he wants too.

At the very least, Brahms can be that person for you. The two of you might be stuck in an awkward jumble of power dynamics but none of it feels wrong. He loves you but not like he’s loved nannies in the past. He’s starting to think that the two of you are in desperate need of a mommy and a daddy. He’s gonna be a good big brother in getting you exactly what you need. You’re not alone anymore and neither is he. It doesn’t hurt so much to be a real boy when you’ve never thought of him as anything besides human.

Michael Myers:

Well. This is happening.

He’s tried killing you multiple times and for the first time in his life, he’s found someone who disrespects death just as much as he does.

No matter what he does or where he goes, you’re close by. Hiding from somewhere, watching him from somewhere. If he turns around and walks away, you’ll manage to find him again no matter what. It's annoying. You’re annoying. Too loud. Too alive.

You've begun to wear a jumpsuit like his and an eyesore of a mask. Michael pointedly doesn't look your way or acknowledge you in the slightest. You might pester and ask questions but you get no answer. He makes sure to not even breathe in your presence. No matter the targeted coldness, you still chase after him as if you’re excited about wherever he’s going.

Once, he picked you up and physically tossed you through the front door of a recently “vacated” house just so you’d have somewhere to stay and unsurprisingly, you were back at his heels the next time he went hunting. You took up permanent residence in his peripherals and sometimes you managed to even sneak up on him. He’s climbed into impossible places and found the most hidden crevices he could find to rest but you're impossible to outwalk.

You’re a buzzing fly but he’s stopped trying to kill you because it doesn’t work. You don’t have his stature or his stride, but he’s beginning to think that you might be something other than what he’s assumed. Recently, he tossed a knife at you with enough precision to kill and you not only caught the damned thing— but you proceeded to ask when you’d get to use it. Slowly, he turned his head toward yours and you tilted yours ever so slightly in question while your hand tightened around your blade’s handle. That was all the discussion needed. He stood and so did you, you were like a shadow behind him and he’s never felt any particular violent urge toward a shadow. 

Patrick Bateman:

Children are god-awful things. Still, Patrick understands their purpose. With a child comes respect. Others will ooh and ahh over someone bragging over their brat’s acceptance into some ivy league school. You get to brag about your trips to all the best places once you’ve cultured your child enough to let them anywhere near Milan or Dubai. Kids are accessories to people like him. No one raises their kid of course, you hire help to do that for you— but even so, Patrick loathes the idea of something other than himself wearing his face. While Patrick understands now is about the time that someone like him is expected to breed, he hates the idea of letting some whore take his seed and brew up some vile squirming thing that’s half made of someone he knows he’ll hate. How can he trust her genetics? All women are whores and breeding one just sounds disgusting. Ugh. He’s not a family man and he finds the concept stomach-turning. 

With a few moments of thought, he thinks about the youngest person he can think of and he decides that the coffee barista at the expensive roastery is fine enough of a choice. You’re polite enough. Your handshake is firm. He’s looked you up before and you have no criminal record to speak of…. 

By the end of the day, he’s drafted a formal questionnaire and had it delivered to your place of employment via a courier service. When his email lights up with a notification, the subject line: “Interview scheduling.” He crinkles his nose. You don’t know how to spell? Anyone with a brain knows that “Schedueling” is spelled with an E after the U. Obviously, you have a lot to learn but… he’s already had a suit tailored to your size so he might as well interview you despite your poor spelling.

Bo Sinclair:

Someone looking up to him has something new and weird surfacing from the graveyard inside of him. It’s all sick and twisted, it moves like a roach with its head cut off. He’s sort of flattered but the sincere baffling concept of someone seeing him as a father figure has him edging the line of being pissed about it.

You’re playing some kinda mind game with him, right? He’s not a fucking loser so he’s definitely gonna figure out wtf you’re on about and why you keep asking him to teach you some bullshit or other. You don't care for shit about the engine he's workin' on. Clearly, you're trying to be clever and do something... Y'think you can get one up on him? Ain't no goddamned way.

Unfortunately, the wires in his brain are all over the place and they’re all connected to his dick’s hair-trigger sensor. Obviously, you have the hots for him. You’re flirting with him. You’re doing all this shit for his attention huh? He’s unable to comprehend that your stockholm has turned itself inside out and you're beginning to as a father figure. He's the big man around this town, wearing his big pants and walking with his big man walk. It's not your fault for getting confused in this rot filled town.

Bo immediately assumes your behavior is some lil deviant kink thing of yours and any innocence you intended is quickly destroyed by a loud mouth and a peacock strut.

Vincent Sinclair:

Charcoal coats the side of your wrist and Vincent wonders if he should tell you to go to bed. You’ve been sketching all day and he knows from experience that your back must hurt from the contorted way you’re sitting. Every lesson he’s ever given you has been taken in stride. Anatomy is something you’re giving your all to learn and it’s… fulfilling to have someone so eager to learn from him. His mother’s teaching was enforced with several painful implements and whether it was a metal ruler or stinging words, Vincent learned out of loyalty to appease her. He turned loyalty into passion out of survival instinct and still, he creates out of muscle memory. He’s still haunted by his mother's ghost but he looks at her with less disdain now that he has someone eager to make everything he knows worth something. 

You wear that same sense of anticipatory nervousness he once armed himself with. You shyly show him what you’re working on, and when he shows you an error you always take it with pride rather than shame. You must know how proud he is of your progress. It’s been years since he’s stood up for himself but his twin is somewhere nursing a shiner after he let himself into Vincent’s workspace just to bother you. No. you didn’t need a nude model. No, you didn’t want to do something more fun. No you didn’t want to take a break and look at something less fuck ugly for a change. 

No matter the circumstances that brought you here, Vincent’s been your protector since the day he found you locked in the garage’s basement, drawing in the dirt. You’re his student. Under his care. You’re a good thing and he’s not going to let his twin spoil you like he’s spoiled everything else. 

Billy Lenz:

He’s still got a scar from when he accidentally happened upon you.

Finding you was a complete accident. He broke into a creaky old house, looking for somewhere dry and he quickly realized that someone else had already staked their claim on the dusty shithole.

Crazed eyes met his and you launched at him like an animal immediately, completely without hesitation. The impact knocked him through a rickety old door and you whooped like a monkey before wildly falling into a pit of screaming laughter. Your laughter was contagious. Little thing full of so much rage. Like a kitten scratching and scratching at a fancy couch. It began to be difficult to laugh at your joke on account of the phone cord wrapped around his neck, cutting off his oxygen. You might’ve killed him if he didn't find enough clarity to throw you off of him. 

You scrambled onto a counter, bare feet disrupting the thick layer of dust and you bared your teeth, breathing heavily. Your nose was red as if you just got here out of the cold and it was just so clownish. Billy mimicked you just the same, squatting on the ground and offering you a series of clown honks and circus noises. After a few moments, you relaxed but with his ever so slight movement forward you growled like a dog before telling him that you were going to shove his stupid bellbottoms so far down his throat that he’d be shitting out a denim baby. Instantly, he wriggled about, wincing while imagining the horrible sensation of denim up his ass.

You’re funny! Funny funny clown. Not a piggy. Not to be gutted and pulled apart. His head was a mess and it hurt where it knocked against the linoleum, it had him agitated but not toward you. A nearby house’s Christmas lights snapped into visual existence and you glared through the dirty kitchen window as if startled by the red and green. With a series of vocalizations accompanied by tonal hissing, Billy asked if you wanted to go Christmas caroling and you’ve been having a holly jolly time ever since. 

This time of year is much much more tolerable now that he’s got a red nosed Rudolph who likes bloody red ribbons just as much as he does. You’ve gotten good at prank calls and you’re just so very mean to mouth breathing boys. While Billy handles the snobby sluts, you take care of heavy-shouldered neanderthals. Fratboys are your favorite flavor and Billy is just so tickled that you have similar tastes to his.  You're a fast learner. Good at climbing. Good at killing. You make the noises go away. The frantic clamor of mutated memory quiets when he's got you wedged in his hindbrain.

[aspirationallybutch]

ur bisexual u can’t be butch and b bisexual I’m so confused like I know Mae Martin exists but what?

please tell me ur not a fag with men

What the fuck is going on today? Anyway Leslie Feinberg supported bi butches. Yes I am a fag with men. Cope and seethe

[incorrect-oppenheimer]

Chevalier: "My name is Haakon Dark'ness Dementia Maurice Chevalier and I have super fluffy hair (that's how I got my name), with purple streaks and red tips that looks super manly and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Jefferson Hall (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to General Leslie Groves but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie."

[demisexual-in-distress]

Can they get Sophia Anne Caruso in the hellaverse???

LIKE, they have Alex Brightman WAY TOO MANY ALEX BRIGHTMANS. They have Leslie Kritzer. They have Bryce Pinkham. They have Barrett Wilbert Weed. They have Patina Miller. Erika Henningsen, Jeremy Jordan, CHRISTIAN FUCKING BORLE ISTG--

THEY LITERALLY HAVE KEITH DAVID

PLEASE PUT SOPHIA IN SHE ALRDY HAS WONDERFUL ACTING CHEMISTRY WITH UR MANY ALEXES AND HER VOICE IS JUST ICONIC

reblog if u agree/who else do u wanna see in the hellaverse??

[reptiles-of-the-mind]

lesbians can’t date men that was a stupid ass post u reblogged

Who the fuck do you think you are? go read some leslie feinberg

[goopyedgay]

sometimes I remember that I worked in hell park RI and I get pissed because the only reason I was there was to see my pookies back (cough cough Gregory and Estella cough cough) but no, it was a fucking cromas fanfic and Leslie being the villain of all? like come on are u fucking kidding me

[blazethecheeto]

what are your arrowverse rarepairs?

okay so this is gonna be fun especially as i'm not sure what counts as a rarepair

ARROW

lauricity (laurel x felicity) <- the first words she said to laurel was 'gorgeous laurel' ok she was crushing hard

shasladiver?!?! (shado x oliver x slade + please tell me if they have another name) <- domestic. cute. island. trio. before. the. incident. "what's the worst way your ship has ever died" "oh so slade fake-died and then oliver accidentally murdered shado and then he appeared just as she died and she never knew he was alive so he held her dead body in his arms as oliver was forever shrouded in guilt then slade became corrupted from a drug and oliver had to kill him too but he wasn't really dead and came back for revenge"

smoaksiren (siren x felicity) <- i already ranted about this one i LOVE THEM.

terrificdog (rene x curtis) <- they're so gay and chaotic x nerdy duos are the best even dinah agrees

constanqueen (oliver x constantine) <- why was constantine so flirty to him in that one episode they probably hooked up let's be honest

smoakingcanary (felicity x sara) <- 'YOU'RE STILL CUTE'

alicity (felicity x alena) <- they were actually adorable oh my god

lauryssa (laurel x nyssa) <- supposed to be canon you can't convince me otherwise

(gotta love how much felicity ships are in there girlie has chemistry with everyone)

FLASH

coldflash (snart x barry) <- does this even count as a rarepair they're so popular i mean thematic parallels, red x blue, enemies to lovers, homo-erotic flirting

snowwest (iris x caitlin) <- lauricity coded also the entirety of 4x05

balph?!?! (barry x ralph) <- the entirety of s4. that's all.

blackfrost (frost x siren) <- they're each other in a different font just IMAGINE THE FUCKING POWER.

bulian?!? (barry x julian) <- enemies to lovers and just very sus moments in s3 that made me say 'hold up fruity'

snowfrost (caitlin x frost) <- new ship but oh my god its growing on me they're smoaksiren in a different font

(gotta love how barry is half of them he's so shippable)

SUPERGIRL

superwire (leslie x kara) <- dude they're so coldflash coded

agentreign (alex x sam) <- i still can't believe they're not canon

psiwire (psi x leslie) <- that one episode in s3. got me thinking thoughts.

superlane (kara x lucy) <- i shipped them so much in s1 oh my god

monwinn (mon-el x winn) <- bro has a thing for aliens

scholson (james x winn) <- nah bc this could lowkey work

superbat (kara x kate + is there another name?) <- kate was 1000% flirting with kara in the elseworlds crossover

LEGENDS OF TOMORROW

coldatom (ray x snart) <- snart has a type and it's self-righteous red coded dark haired boys

lovebirds (kendra x sara) <- this was so unexpected but like hello they trained together and she got sara back from the league

timehex (jonah x rip) <- actually no way u can convince me they aren't exes

whiteatom (sara x ray) <- they're so sweet and they're the time parents and so underrated

steelatom (nate x ray) <- bromance.

hellcanary (sara x constantine) <- hhhh i could rant so much bro but they get each other and they are friends with benefits and both have ties to demons and can understand each other's hurt and are chaotic bisexuals and-

atomhawkcanary (sara x ray x kendra) <- they lived together for like a year ok things probably happened.

thanks for asking!!!! damn there's a lot lol

[imagibunny]

do you have any favorite horror movies? in general i mean

GOD YOU HAVE ASKED THE WRONG PERSON

i'm. picky about horror i watch. quite possibly a bunch of it is cult classics, indie films, or just really obscure things i don't really think people have seen

for example, outside of like. the child's play movies and the latest scream movies, i don't particularly care for any horror mainstays like jason, freddy, leatherface, ect ect. they're just not interesting to me

HOWEVER

i have Varrying different favorites depending on catagory because i am a freak

favorite anthology;

trick r treat. this has been MY MOVIE since i saw it back when i was a kid. sam is my son boy allowed and i am one sidedly fighting his va for who has the most sam merch (don't ask me about the supposed sequel that's been announced for over a decade i hate the director)

runners up;

the v/h/s series and the abcs of death movies. v/h/s is fun and i LOVE the later instalments (especially 98 and 99) but the first 3 were kinda weak?? and god i hated the first ones wrap around story arc. abcs of death are honestly just really fun!! love seeing all the different ways people can interpret their word they got and can get silly with it (SHOUT OUT TO W FROM THE FIRST ONE AND P FROM THE SECOND I LOVE THE SILLY SHORTS SM)

favorite found footage:

paranaormal activity. i'm normal about it (is not) pa1 changed my brain chemistry idk what else you want me to tell u kjnKJD. i however am very insistant on watching it IN THE CORRECT ORDER, which means i more often then not have to watch it alone. don't ask me about "next of kin" i hate it it's bad it's worst then ghost dimension. pagd actually stayed on story and gave us closure and a finale!! nok just feels. like they said "oh pa is just about recording a demon obsessed with a woman" NO IT'S NOT YOU BOZOS I'M HOLDING YOU HOSTAGE TO WATCH THE MOVIES AGAIN

runners up;

quarentine. let it be known i AM AWARE this is a remake of rec, i just ended up seeing quarentine first and havent had the time to see the rec movies. i definately want to though, quarentine was a fun zombie movie

favorite mockumentary:

ABSOLUTE TIE BETWEEN SAVAGELAND AND THE RISE OF LESLIE VARNOM. savageland is just Really solid and i love the inclusion of the photos and the 3d map and everything OOOOO I LOVE IT!! behind the mask is a favorite for another reason and that is leslie varnom my little freak. i know he's a serial killer but he's so SILLY! i'm putting him in a bug cage to study him as we speak thank you. a bit upset they took away the found footage bit near the end but that ending has me holding out my wallet ready to fund a sequel movie <3

runner up;

the tunnel! it's only a runner up cause i just recently watched it, i know in my HEART if i had watched it longer ago it would've been a top favorite

favorite foreign horror:

i'm grabbing gonjiam haunted asylum LIKE A SQUEAKY TOY. it's basically a korean grave encounters but the difference here is that it's good /lh

runner up:

ONE MISSED CALL. i originally watched the eng remake with my dad but gave the original japanese version a go after finding out it exists and OOHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHH!!!!!! /pos literally the only reason it's not my favorite is because my father (derogatory) set the ringtone from the movie as HIS ringtone. any time his phone went off he would look at us all worried like "that's not my ringtone..." my dad's a jackass

and because i'm on a roll legally i can say anything by eli roth fucking SUCKS. granted this man is a zionist so he fucking sucks in the moral department, not to mention his movie "green inferno" is his adaption of "cannibal halocaust" but like. his movies are just. so Mean, and for no good reason either. i dunno man i watched hostel too young so anything with his name attached gives me bad vibes

anyways i'm sorry for rambling you unleashed the autism curse urself good luck

[bonerot19]

what are your thoughts on Jason and Roy? I have very complicated thoughts about them because on one hand they’re made out to be good friends so often I can’t be ok with them being strangers it makes me sad :( on the other hand they aren’t good friends not really no them because RHATO destroyed Roy :( so they’re in a weird space of “met this guy two weeks ago would’ve died for him for three days and now we don’t really talk” tragic friendship kinda vibe in my brain. I guess that’s even sadder??? But at least the love was there? Sorry for randomly showing up in your ask box 😭 I’m just curious

I have So Many thoughts on Roy and Jason.

I've been learning a lot more about Roy lately, his history and character and he's so cool so it makes me sad what's happened to him in canon (the account royboyfanpage is a wealth of Roy info I love following them)

my problem is that RHATO could have been cool. they could have made Kory, like, important and sentient. they could have just not reduced Roy to the stupid comic relief guy. they could have kept Jason's backstory instead of rewriting one of my favorite origin stories (stealing the batmobile's tires fucks so hard I can't believe Lobdell thought making him steal from Leslie was better??)

I think Jason and Roy have the potential to have a fun, interesting relationship — little brother stealing his older brother's best friends is hilarious. and I know some people (rightfully) have issues with Roy being aged-down to be closer to Jason's age but I think they still have the potential for hilarity at their relative canon ages.

I like fics that portray Jason and Roy as chaotic, and I do often like Jason/Roy fics because I think the dynamic can be really well written — especially in AUs. I like Jason and Roy bitching about Oliver and Bruce (even though Ollie is like, leagues better than Bruce in canon and loves Roy So Much)

I think what I've learned is that while I enjoy Jason/Roy I really understand why Roy lovers hate Jason because when Jason is in Roy's story it does necessitate some level of character assassination. either by changing Roy's age, changing his relationship with Oliver, changing his relationship with Dick, changing his character in general via Lobdell's bullshit (if I catch u Scott I stg)

which sucks, because I think there are people out there writing really complex Jason/Roy relationships that challenge both characters and complete some great character analysis. you just have to be careful and aware of the way Roy is portrayed to not shape his character to suit Jason, cause that sucks

in the end, I'll still read Jason/Roy, because I like it. sometimes I dislike it in the same way I dislike other characterizations of other batfam and batfam adjacent characters. but I'm taking my time learning about Roy and I'm adding some Green Arrow comics to my tbr (which is 10 miles long) cause if I'm gonna write about Roy I want to understand him

[bluewormonastring]

My live reactions to season 2 (episode 1)

SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY KIDS READ AT UR OWN RISK

Holy shit I’m so excited

Oh my god

Oh my god

Oauxbwkxjwhz

LOVE THE BLACK SCREEN W A SHARP CUT TO THE BEACH 10/10

OMG WE GET THE STEDE AND IZZY BEACH SWORD NOW? SO SOON? YOU SPOIL ME OFMD

Omg he’s been stabbed this is for sure a dream sequence

STEDE THATS MURDER EVEN IF ITS JUST IN YOUR HEAD

“You absolute twa….” BEST DYING WORDS EVER ILY IZZY ALWAYS AND FOREVER

THE SLOW RUN TOWARDS EACH OTHER OMG

AND STEDES FACE AND HIS VOICE AND AWW BABY

AWWW THE WAY THEY CRASHED INTO EACH OTHER

“BABE” HA FOWIHXBWNA I WAS NOT PREPARED

“I KNEW YOUD FIND ME LOVE”

“Fuckin love the beard mate”

Oh we’ve started farting lovely

OH MY GOD I WASNT PREPARED FOR HOW ID FEEL WHEN IT CUT TO HIM WITH EVERYONE AWW MY BABIES IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH

“Cant be worse than you moaning ‘Ed oh ed’ all night” ILY PETE

Iconic title screen as always

“DEAR ED” AHHHH

SPANISH JACKIE ILY

Instantly taking an interest in the Swede as we knew would happen but still iconic

Ugh I love Leslie jones did I mention I love Leslie jones

Nat looks so scared aww baby

I love wee John being security

And host stede aww baby

I live for black Pete dealing with working in customer service

And all of them tbh

Aww poor buttons he needs his ocean and Livy

I’m ngl for a second I was like “where’s Fred armisen- oh wait”

ITS THE I THINK OF YOU OFTEN LINE YESS

HELLO YES I ADORE IZZY HANDS HE CAN DO NO WRONG IDC WHAT YOU SAY IVE MISSED MY BABY BOY

Ahh the wedding

“Demon? *shakes head* I’m the fucking devil” AHH

Guys were only 6 minutes in and this post is already long as shit so buckle up (if ur actually reading it lmao my ass would be like nope too long”

THERES MY VICO HELLO VICO ILY AND MY JOEL FRY ILY BABIES

Ah yes ye olde put trauma in a box in lock it

Awww fang baby boy someone give him a hug find him Lucius

Omg it’s the “you dumped him” scene

“Did everyone get some cake” because he’s still our precious little angle

HE JUST SNORTED RHINO HORN IS THAT A THING WAS THAT A THING IN HISTORY HUH

NO ITS THIS SCENE I DONT WANNA WATCH MY BABY BE SAD

Yes hello I love Izzy hands I would protect him with my life little baby boy

Vico looks so done w his ass

Someone give my baby a hug

Ily fang

The tears in his eyes during “unhand me” aww Angel

AWW IZZY

CONNOTHAN O NONNATHAN WE LOVE YOU YOU PRECIOUS LITTLE BOY UR ABSOLUTE PERFECTION YOU ANGEL

I love the friendship Jim and that girl have

Oh shit Jackie

“BOO CAKES” JACKIE

Stede honey you’re not intimidating

“I know that guy we had breakfast together” “you’ll be having a lot of breakfastes together” “oh okay 🙂” ily Swede

HIM DOING AN ED IMPRESSION LMAO “could be. Could be mate.”

“You’re my hero” 😞😕🙂😏

Swede bein a cute lil double agent

AWW SWEDE “my time with Jackie has been the happiest of my life. Her love has helped me locate parts of myself I didn’t even know existed and reclaim others that I have long missed” ILY

“Tonight is my turn to perform the husbandly duties”

“That’s another toe” ED YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM LEAVE MY BABY ALONE

“Who am I to you” aww Izzy Angel baby he’s accepting it OMG “I have love for you Edward” IZZY YOURE SAYING IT OUT LOUD IM SO PROUD OF YOU BUD

IZZY YOU DID NOT JUST SAY TALK IT THROUGH YOU HAD TO HAVE KNOWN THAT WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA

OMG AND THE SHIFT IN THE MUSIC AS SOON AS HE SAID IT

IZZY RUN

RUN MY BABY BOY RUN

“As a crew” OH EDDDDD

ED DONT POINT A GUN AT JIM

OR ANYONE ELSE

THAT INCLUDES YOURSELF EDWARD TEACH BORN ON A BEACH

“They think ya crazy” cackling his face omg

Go taika absolutely slaying this scene

The way the camera is all like jittery is so good

Jim’s like “beard” makes their chin look like… not caved in but idk like it looks like they have a rly bad overbite yk

“Everyone knows why” “I don’t. Enlighten me” “your feelings for stede fucking bon-“ *GUNSHOT* ARE U SHITTING ME EDWARD NO WE DO BOT SHOOT FRIENDS

OH MY GOD HE MADE FRENCHIE FIRST MATE HOLY SHIT

Oh my god Izzy my poor baby Izzy oh my god how dare you hurt my Izzy

LMAO SWEDE

“FUCK THOSE HAMMIES UP” LMAO

There’s like no way there’s actually anything valuable in that chest

WE GOT TO SEE HER TAKE A NOSE FOR THE NOSE JAR YESSS

OH SHIT INDIGO

“Now give me back my blue shit STEVE”

Susan’s hot

DONT HURT SWEDE

Oh good okay we’re cool

I feel like she’s lying tho

But for now we’re cool

AWW FANG

AWW JIM COMFORTING FANG

“WANNA HEAR THE STORY OF THE WOODEN BOY” AWW

Living for vico using they them for the puppet

“DO THE VOICE” AWW

OMG VICO THATS ICONIC

AWW YAY THEYRE LAUGHING NOW THOSE ARE MY BABIES YAY

Living for buttons reuniting with the ocean

Okay roll credits cheers yall see you next episode