#fuck that reminds me i STILL need to work on my queue for my art blog

[snailfen]

grouping all the rivals together is funny because like half of them have shitty parents yeah but you know whats funnier. grouping the professors kid/assistants together

[poupeesdecirque]

Posting by Queue, or: why I need some distance from my crafts

It has been some time since my last hobby meta blog entry, it had different reasons and one is that I need distance. Like, yes I of course enjoy crafting and sometimes I am like a little child that runs everywhere to show off things.

But it got ... less intense. And I learned I do better when I keep projects or at least details to myself to sit on them for longer. That the first euphoria is purely mine and not to be shared.

Like for my photos I have a buffer of several weeks now. Yes, I know past-me would have kind of hated that. But I learned I do better when I have a time buffer. I do take photos weekly but sometimes they don't feel special enough to get the weekly photo feature?

Friday & yesterday I went out for photos and while I like the ones from yesterday way more than the ones from friday I am not sure if the set from yesterday will get the feature or not as it's only a hand full of photos giving me that certain spark.

Other than that I am a very emotional artist, I sometimes really fuck up my art and hate it at the moment I worked on it, but then, sometimes, after a few days or weeks I can look at it and just wonder about what was my problem the day I made it.

Another thing is that I, myself, enjoy my art. The process of it. And I like to see my blog updating, sometimes I forget what post will go online and then I check the blog and think "ah yes, this was that thing!", and it reminds me why I made the blog overall, to show myself I had progress and that every tiny step counts.

Which leads to another reason why I hold back in regards of posting. Yes, I do share some snippets in my stories over on insta but not always and not all. I sit on over 300 drawings from the last two years alone nobody ever will see, I enjoyed drawing but it's nothing for the public eye. I will maybe go back and redraw some and share the redraws then, who knows?

But wait, there is actually more reasons.

The biggest or main reason is ... i sometimes go really wild on projects. In January I finished so many dolls it was insane, I worked on Cosplays and other crafts in an incredible speed, I have literally no idea where I found the time but I somehow did and doll parts arriving every week did the rest.

I keep the blog running with partially 2 month old stuff but .... to be honest I don't have doll stuff aside photos to do anymore. All I can do is wait for bodies to be shipped (or dolls even) and arrive. There has been no movement since January. Aside Iza getting the shipping notice for our Split, might take a while until its at her place and I can't really start on the Akuma until I got the body (which I at least have finally ordered this month) as colors need to be matched and mods to be made.

I am truly itchy to do something else than sewing all the time, I do enjoy cosplay but you know how much I like sewing (hint: not at all). So to remind myself of the fun I had in the past weeks I have mixed my blog to bless me with some progress I had which was maybe not sewing all the time. And well, the Cosplays have deadlines and I do get some ideas aside purely sewing while doing them, so that keeps me going for now.

Yes, I could start redoing dolls like Alastor or Erwin. But you know what? IT'S ALMOST ALL SEWING. Urgh.

Aside that real life is pretty good at eating me up and I just want to enjoy crafting. Right now drawing feels like stress relief but I hate the results and just scan the pieces and put them away to never look at them again, I have a bunch of posts queued up without any captions, a wip entry of a current project only has two photos but I lack the spoons to actually get them done. But since those posts are so far back it's fine (yes I know drafts are a thing).

In general I enjoy having my art to myself to get used to it before I put it out into the wild as I just recently got reminded I do bad with direct comparisons still and it hits some triggerpoints from the past and makes everything harder, I don't need that.

I literally have no idea if this blog makes sense even, lol. I just am tired of sewing and stopped working on my current project around lunch time and have drawn so much today and I walked way too much the whole week my friends urged me to stay the ef home and at least try to relax. But I'm restless as my body is too stressed (I know it all I'm a certified relaxation trainer so eh), so, have an over the place blog entry.

[nicepersondisorder]

What is your favourote and least favourite character from hazbin? Would you change anything about them?

THANK YOU FOR QUESTION !!

i have MANY favorite characters from hazbin !! depending on the traits and the lense we're sorting them by

they're all so interesting and cool!! charchar is amazing and i love how she refuses to give up and sees good in everyone (AND HER VOICE ACTOR IS SO GOOD. SHE HAS SUCH PRETTY VOICE.). she's determined and goal oriented and her dreams are so good and while she has issues and problems, she's genuinely such a good person. i also like the fact that she's a sweet bubbly character, but she still doesn't shy away from swearing and she was shown to lose her cool several times. i love her. i really should reblog more arts with her. okkkk once i finish writing this answer i will go and queue more arts with my babygirl !!!! o7

have i told i love charlie? yeah? i love her. i love her a lot. sorry. next segment

in the next segment we have "pathetic losers", which has two sub-types: "dorks" and "just genuinely pathetic. like. good lord they're so fucking pathetic. (/neg)."

at the top is lucifer ! he's a fascinating critter. he goes in the "dorks" category, but he is really pathetic. dipping toes in the second category even! loser <3 (speaking of losers, i LOVE husk's design. no i'm not biased because he's a cat what are you talking about !!)(i'm lying)(don't have a special opinion on his overall character though, sowwy </3). ANYWAY continuing with lucifer! majority of the scenes with him were Physically Painful to watch due to Second Hand Embarrassment (also i did skip almost all of the episode due to Reasons tm. i need to go and actually watch it. sloooowly). his "TAKE THAT DEPRESSION" lives rent fee in my brain and reminds me of a "could a depressed person make this?" meme. he's pathetic wet beast of a man and while i dislike his absence and flippancy towards his daughter, i understand him (LOL). im also extremely depressed 🤝. that doesn't excuse his actions but i do get why he acts the way he acts. also i don't have "more than anything" playing on repeat. don't look at my music app

second in the "dorks" category is sir pentious! not gushing about him as much as about charchar or lucifer, but he is just so. he evokes cuteness agression in me. i need to make a balloon animal out of him. he is such a nerd. i loved him when the pilot came out (the only character from pilot i drew in 2019 actually!)(you should be honored sirsnake!!). he's not on the list of my favorite favorite characters, i just thought i'd include him since i brought up the "dorks" subtype.

breaking the segment to talk how i find charlie endearing. she's such a sweetheart..... she can do it i believe in her and her dreams <33 (sir pent DID get redeemed after all!!!! the hotel is working !!). she's so silly. love her. ok moving to subtype "pathetic /neg"

the one and only character in this category is vox. he's so fucking pathetic. tearing my hair out i LOVE him for this. okay so i might be a liiiiitle bit unfair to him BUT . his crush on alastor is just so. shaking crying i don't have words for this. he has such bad taste in men (affectionate). AND THE WAY HE ACTS ABOUT IT IS ALSO SO PATHETIC. "oh i learned that the guy who i have love(unrequited)/hate relationship with is back from 7 years absence??? i must broadcast how i don't care about him at all IMMEDIATELY". has the vibe from the joke i've heard somewhere "i've been chasing you for seven miles to tell you how much i don't care about you" or something like that, don't remember the exact wordinb unfortunately 😔. he IS a cool character tho. i love his design, im really weak for tv headed characters. i could run doom on him.sorry. also his powers are sick as fuck!!! but he's so pathetic it's easy to froget how much influence he has an how strong he is.i want to pick him apart on the vivisection table. sorry again. no im not

okay ! next category! "fucking dick holy shit". valentino. he's So Terrible. i need him boiled in oil and i also hate him and i like him and i hope he dies ten thousand deaths and i want to see him suffer. kind of niffty-like type of like for him! he's really fascinating in the worst way possible and he's like. hmmmm im not sure how to put it? he's a genuinely good character (NOT person, two different things) and he can be both absolutely terrible vile etc etc, there are scenes shown that humanize him, which i think is also a good thing, because irl abusers are not one dimensional, and so fictinal ones also shouldn't be, especially in a show that wants to bring up serious themes correctly. controversial opinion but people bitching about how val's design is wasted on him are completely missing the point. yeah.

um! moving on !

there are more characters that i Like, but if i'd be listing them all im afraid itd take years 😭 like you asked for one (1) favorite character and i wrote you a whole essay LMAO

and i don't think i have a least favorite character? it takes too much energy to dislike a character that i don't have XD (i do have a slight distate for alastor, but it's for personal 🍎 reasons so i'm not gonna include him in the post! or in the tags)

nvm i lied i don't like zestial. i Can Not understand what he's saying 💔 bless the subtitles ! that's a silly "least favorite character" don't take it seriously !

ALMOST FORGOT TO ANSWER THE SECOND QUESTION. i don't think i'd change anything about the characters !! except maybe making zestial's speech more understandable. please bitches with auditory processing issues can't understand what you're saying zestial please im begginb you on my knees WHAT ARE YOU SAYING

[sporadeen]

I wonder how long it's gonna take "reblog all art/fics or you're a bad person" people to realize how bad and unhelpful that is

This site is FILLED TO THE BRIM with people with severe anxiety and constantly guilt tripping them and making them feel AWFUL is not helping

Reblogs are good! Tumblr needs them to function! Reminding people of that is fine! Telling me you believe I'm awful for acknowledging art/fic does not help and will not make me reblog more stuff, yknow what it does? It makes me scared to like things, and I'm going to assume none of you are going to appreciate it when your stuff goes from getting 10 reblogs and 100 likes to 11 reblogs 0 likes. Every single fucking time i like and queue something i get a mini panic attack that op will think I'm just liking and hate me

A like isn't a fucking "bookmark button" it's a "hey this thing is cool and i want you to know i think that" button. Why didn't i also reblog it? Off the top of my head: I'm uncomfortable with people knowing I'm into this thing, i don't like rebloging super nsfw content, this isn't a fandom I'm in but i still want to let you know you did a good job, no one has ever reblogged this kind of content from me before so i know it won't matter either way, i don't vibe with this thing, guilt tripping me pissed me off enough that i refuse to let you think it worked, i just DON'T FUCKING FEEL LIKE REBLOGING THIS ONE THING

Just stop. You're not helping.

[xlovelyyoongix]

wake up | myg

summary: reader wakes yoongi up in a special way.

paring: non-idolYoongi x Reader (established relationship)

rating: 18+ ONLY

genre: fluff, smut

w/c: 1k

warnings: cursing, oral sex, (m. receiving) switch reader, switch yoongi. (If you catch anything else I forgot to add, please don’t hesitate to let me know)

a/n: I wrote this in under an hour cuz ima hoe... 🤣 anyways, please enjoy 💕

Getting the chance to witness Yoongi as he slept was a rarity of its own. The raven-haired male was infamous for waking up before the early chirps of newborn birds and falling asleep only after you've drifted off into dreamland, so today was something special. Having him rest so soundly beside you, warm sunlight spilling across his flawless skin, and thick lashes soft against the apples of his cheeks as the rhythm of his faint breath exhaled past his lips.

"You're so beautiful." You soundly whisper, watching as Yoongi slowly began to wake from his slumber.

Your fingers begin to dance along the flesh of his ivory chest, leaving a trail of goosebumps down it’s path. The further you venture, the more you notice something twitching underneath the thin fabric of the sheets. "Oh," You giggle, eyes panning to the stiff erection, standing proudly beneath the linen.

"Baby~?" You mew softly, fingers trickling past his torso to the edge of his waistband. "Is this okay?"

Yoongi's lashes slowly begin to flutter open, tongue darting across his dry lips out of habit. It takes a moment for his vision to come to, but when it does, you're the first thing he sees. Your wild bedhead framing around your delicate face, eyes narrowed seductively low, and plump lips formed into the shape of a wicked smirk. It was then he noticed your hand, so dangerously close to the needy dick twitching in his boxers. "Please."

Never one to turn down your lover, your hand slips beneath the thin layer of fabric, immediately met with the heat of Yoongi's manhood. Your fingers find the thick base of his shaft, palming around the veiny, hot flesh.

Yoongi utters a grunt, stuttering his hips upward due to the bewitching sensation of your sweet touch. "You're always so sensitive when I touch you here." You giggle, palm slowly beginning to work up and down his shaft.

Yoongi's breath staggers in his throat, eyelids riding low as a familiar tightness begins to coil within the pit of his abdomen. "I-I had a dream..." He struggled to articulate his speech, your soft hand around his dick having an effect on him. "A-about you."

Your tongue flirtatiously darts across your bottom lip, "Oh, yeah?" you start with a smirk, antagonizing his sexual frustration. "What was your dream about, baby?" You squeeze your hand tighter, just how Yoongi liked it.

Yoongi's throat releases a hiss, eyelashes fluttering as he takes a nibble out of his lip." Y-you were s-sucking me o-of." He stuttered in the form of a slight pout, and fuck did you love it when he pouted. "B-but you didn't l-let me c-cum." Jet orbs glossing over

"Aww, that's so mean of me." You reply coyly, fingers teasing around his mushroom tip, massaging in his sticky pre-cum. "Do you think you deserve to cum, Yoongi?" you ask, toying with his dick as if it were your own personal plaything.

"I- I do deserve it." He finds the strength to say. "I'm a good m-man to you, aren't I?" He makes sure to add as if to plead his case.

"Yes, you're very good to me, Yoongi." His body shivers as you whisper into the shell of his ear. "So I'll give you what you want." After maneuvering under the sheets, you slowly peel back the waistband of Yoongi's boxers, allowing his tall erection to spring free. You lick your lips at the mighty sight, pre-cum glistening at the tip, healthy veins protruding from the sides, and a thickness that made you crave him even more. "You always look so yummy," You say, tongue darting out to collect the first taste of his red tip.

"Shit," Yoongi grunts, uncontrollably jolting his hips upward.

You were never one to leave your boyfriend unsatisfied, so opening your mouth wide and swallowing him whole was always the option with the best results. The tip of your nose reaches the forest of his pubic hair, tongue massaging the bottom of his shaft. The grunts and moans slipping past Yoongi's lips give the encouragement to hold your gag reflex, allowing you to relax your throat.

"Oh, fuck." Yoongi's hands move on their own, gripping the back of your hair to hold your mouth in place. With eyes rolled back, he's inching his shaft as far as it can reach. Your mouth feels immaculate around him, the thick wetness of your saliva and the tightness of your throat, fuck he could orgasm then and there. "C-can I...?" Yoongi mutters, almost too afraid to ask.

You know precisely what Yoongi means by his question; he wants to take control. The very thought of him using your mouth and throat for his sexual leisure causes a spike of pleasure to pulse between your thighs. So, of course, you nod to his request.

Gripping at the back of your hair tighter, Yoongi guides your hollowed-out mouth slowly up and down his thickness. "T-tap me if y-you need to b-breathe." He utters, eyes rolling back to the erotic sensation your hungry mouth was providing.

You nod to the suggestion but also know you won't be needing air anytime soon. After years of being with Yoongi, you've perfected the art of inhaling and exhaling through your nostrils.

"Shit, y-your mouth is so good." Yoongi stutters while you bob your head to the speed that he desired, erotic wet sounds exuded from beneath the sheets. "I-I fuckin love you." With every passing moment, the pulsing in Yoongi's dick intensifies along with the aching to release. "Wanna swallow for me, baby?"

You thought it cute that he even asked, and if his dick wasn't being shoved halfway down your esophagus, you would have giggled, but instead, you nod to his request.

"G-gotta see you," Yoongi yanks away the sheets, revealing your sexy mouth gobbling away at his dick, thick saliva collecting at the base of his shaft and your alluring, hazed eyes gazing up at him; his own personal goddess. "My sexy girl gonna take my load in her mouth? You gonna do that for me?"

You don't stop bobbing, sucking him all in as your eyes screamed the words, "yes, please."

As if on queue, the rubber band sensation, stretching in the pit of Yoongi's abdomen, finally snaps. "Oh, fuck!" He yells, holding your head in place to collect the large amount of cum releasing into your throat. He thrusts a few final times, colors exploding in his vision while riding the explosive high of his orgasm.

And just like he asked, you have no problem swallowing it all, gulping down the salty evidence of your boyfriend's orgasm, before your lips release the tip of his dick with a -pop-.

A satisfied smile gleams across Yoongi's rosy cheeks as he grabs your arm, gesturing you to lay beside him, "Come here."

Doing as you're told, your head plops into the pillow beside Yoongi's head, gazing into his glossy, hooded eyes.

"You're so fuckin perfect," Yoongi says, placing a sweet kiss on your forehead, thanking you for the happy ending he'd just received. "What do you want for breakfast?" his fingers stroking throughout your hair as he watched you in awe.

The light glaze of sweat glistening across Yoongi's skin and the softness in his deep, onyx eyes melted you inside. You loved him so much that after 2 years of being together, butterflies still managed to flutter in the pit of your stomach. "Pancakes!" You nearly shout, a bit too excited at the mention of breakfast.

Yoongi chuckles at your animated behavior. "Let's get showered, and then I'll make you a tall stack of pancakes." He watches as the excitement grows in your eyes, reminding him of the many reasons why he fell hard for you. "I love you." Yoongi manages to sneak in the phrase before you could respond.

Your heart did that thing where it nearly somersaulted out of your chest. How did you get so lucky to have such a beautiful, perfect man in your bed every morning? So, without hesitation, you respond, "I love you too, Min Yoongi."

date posted: 4-6-2020

[donaidk]

Marcus Armstrong - Almost Home I.

In advance: This is getting a Part 2 for sure. I don’t want to leave it here, but at the same time I felt like it would be really long if I left it in one piece. Turns out I have a whole lot of inspiration for Marcus fics right now. 😂 I also wanna let everyone, who’s waiting for their request, know that uni is starting next week for me. It means less free time, but I will make sure to finish every one of them in the next week or so, and then focus on all the series I started. There’s gonna be slower updates to them, but I’ll make sore to have one or two per week at least. Hopefully they won’t try to kill us in the starting weeks and I will finish up the Lando one so I could start posting that every week and just add some parts from the others to the queue 😊

Thank you Anon for requesting this one though, and sorry for the wait. Hope you will enjoy it and as it’s almost the next day here, have a really happy start to your Friday everyone 🧡

Kind of Taglist: @mickschumcher​, @art-gp​

Title Song | Masterlist | Taglist/Queue | Request

With the Australian GP knocking on the door Melbourne filled up with tourists and fans even more than usual. The first time I got to witness it in 2017 was actually scary in a way for someone who didn’t know the city well yet. Getting from one part of the city to another was a hard task already, and all the shouting and crazy fans weren’t of much help when I tried to get some usable info out of them so I could finally get to my destination and get off the streets. It almost held me back from choosing Melbourne’s university, but I had to remind myself that it was just once a year and I shouldn't give up my plans because of it. Melbourne was beautiful and their schools were highly rated, giving me everything for a stable future. Luckily I was never disappointed by my choices as it was easy to get used to the life here and I even found some new friends who helped me every time I felt homesick. It wasn’t the worst usually, as I was truly content with how my life was going, but sometimes it just hit me out of nowhere and in those moments they were always there for me.

It was now the third year when we lived through the race weekend, meaning we finally had a working schedule with which we still followed our usual plans but stayed out of the bigger crowds. Although we were in the middle of the semester we always found time to enjoy the still warm weather and spend most of our free time outside. Usually our choice was the beach for the afternoons as even though it was packed until noon, the tourists never stayed for long. We usually arrived in the late afternoon and stayed well after the sun went down, and the temperature went down a little finally. The water usually stayed comfortable until later in the evening making it bearable for almost a whole 24 hours if you weren’t squeamish. Even if you were after spending a few weeks at the beach, everyone got used to it.

As soon as everyone finished with their lectures we got our things together and took the 5 minutes walk down to the beach. We had a favourite spot which was luckily never taken when we got down there. For a few minutes we just sat down, talking about our weeks. I shared a dorm room with two other girls, but we had a few friends who had their own apartments or lived with their family a bit farther away from our university. We usually had one or two days every week to catch up with them as in between lectures we were either too tired or didn’t have the time to do so. But most of the afternoons were ours fully and we used it the best we could to relax but still use that time to make memories for the few years we’re spending together. We could say it’s gonna stay the same after we graduate but everyone knew we would move to different countries as soon as we weren’t connected to Australia. Even I planned to go home, although I enjoyed living here and getting to be independent without my family behind my back.

“ Are you coming? ” One of the girls asked me, as they were already walking down to the water, while I was still standing around our towels with my phone in my hand. I was in the middle debating which sunset photo I should post from my gallery, but her voice made me look up.

“ Just a second. I’ll catch up. ” I smiled at her before looking back down at my screen. In the end my finger finally tapped the posting button and I pushed it aside while I got the sundress off that was on over my bikini.

Right before I would have ran after the girls, the device was back in my hands so I could check that the picture uploaded without a problem. A smile got on my face when I saw a reaction from one of my family members but as soon as it showed the whole list of the people who looked at my story, it faded away. For the past few months whenever I posted something he was always there in the first few seconds or at least minutes. I couldn’t understand what changed that he showed up in my life again, but I didn't really want to give him space in my thoughts either. It has been almost 4 years since we last talked and could call each other best friends, but I wasn’t about to take the first step and message him after he forgot about me until now. I just dropped my phone back into my bag, closing it and then caught up with my friends so they could make me forget about him again.

We spent quite some time in the water, swimming a few laps back and forth before just standing around and enjoying the last rays of sunshine while we chatted away. My thoughts were already in a different direction thanks to all the different topics that came up between us. Sometimes it was harder to make me forget time and time again, but turns out today I only needed some distraction and everything was set for an enjoyable night. With the sun completely off the sky the temperature dropped quickly and it was getting a bit chilly  for my liking in just a few minutes. When it was truly uncomfortable I gave up and walked back to the shore, sitting down on my own blanket and draping my towel around my shoulders. It immediately brought enough warmth over my body that I stopped shivering and could wait for them until they would get cold too. Until then I just went onto my phone to go through some posts of my friends. Sometimes I looked up to check on them just so they wouldn’t leave me out of something. One of those times I saw a person coming my way and although I didn’t mind too much attention to it, when he continued and there was no one else in my close proximity I felt like he might be coming to me. In the end I was right as he turned right towards me and then stopped just a few steps away from our blankets.

“ Never thought you would exchange our lovely and perfect red stars for ugly white ones. ” He spoke up and I could recognise the voice even though his face was almost unseeable thanks to him standing with his back towards the moon. My jaw dropped immediately and I felt like I grew roots into the ground as I couldn’t move my body. “ If you want me to fuck off, just tell me. It’s okay. I just thought we could maybe talk, and from the pictures I saw that you’re here. Hoped you didn’t go home yet so I could catch you and... ” He started rambling but I was quick to finally push myself up and hug him immediately. I always imagined our reunion with me being angry at him, but somehow I couldn’t get myself to feel that way now that he was standing right in front of me.

“ You idiot. ” I told him not leaving any space for questions and I could feel as he finally relaxed and hugged me back. “ The biggest in the whole world. ” I added with a sigh, closing my eyes as my brain started functioning again and I had an urge to kick his shin at least.

“ I can live with that. ” Marcus let out a laugh and I could feel as my heart jumped a little at the sound. It was something that always reminded me of our home and spending every possible second together. “ I’m sorry for disappearing. ” He let out a sigh, letting go of me only when we realised my wet bathing suit soaked his shirt, although even he didn’t care about it for too long.

“ What are you doing here? I thought F2 wasn't coming here. ” I asked him confused, knowing that we wouldn’t be in this situation if he traveled here for one of the races in the past two years. “ Not like I’m complaining, but I can hardly believe my own eyes and senses. ” I shook my head a little before looking up at him again. He changed, quite a bit since we last met and even though I saw pictures of him it was different in a face-to-face situation.

“ Ferrari invited a few of us so we could gather some experience. The speed I accepted the offer with might have raised some eyebrows. ” Marcus hid his face in his palm, making me chuckle as I could see the situation unfold in front of my eyes like I was there. “ Thought I would DM you and ask if you wanted to meet up maybe. But I realized it would be better offline. ” I had to roll my eyes at his first idea although I knew he wasn’t lying and it for sure went through his brain as a real possibility.

“ You’re lucky you didn’t. I would have blocked you forever I think. My plan was connecting my fist with your face if we ever meet again, right until you showed up here. ” I shook my head with a smile, as I wasn’t proud of what I wanted to do to him. “ I was really angry when you just stopped talking to me. I tried so hard to reach you, but it felt like you didn’t even exist anymore even though they were talking about you almost every week. ” I sighed, sitting back down and leaving enough space for him too.

“ Would have been deserved actually. ” His fingers scratched at the nape of his neck and I could see the tint of purple traveling up his neck. I watched him as he sat down, pulling his legs up and resting his arms onto them. “ I really am sorry. For a part everything got busy with all the training, races and studying, but at the same time I know damn well a message here and there should have been possible. I messed up, everything. ” His eyes shined even in the minimal light of the moon, and I could get myself to look away. Even feeling the burning stares on my back from my friends didn’t get me to turn around.

“ I won’t say that it’s okay, but I accept your apology. How could I not. ” I let out a breath that I realized was still stuck in me since the initial surprise took over my body. “ It feels like we didn’t even skip over like 3 years of each other’s life. Only difference is that you’re finally taller than me, but the baby face’s still there. ” My hand went up to his cheek to pat it gently like my grandma did for him all the time when he came over for lunch. He always hated it but knew that it was a gesture of love from her and a way to show Marcus that she considered him part of our family.

“ Yeah, I guess it’s going to stay forever. ” Marcus huffed, moving his head back a little to avoid my attack, although he failed miserably. “ I almost forgot, congrats for uni. I remember how hard you were studying to get in. Everyone home was ecstatic when I told them about it. ” His hand slapped his forehead, making me laugh with his expression at the slight stinging he caused himself.

“ Thank you, but it’s nothing compared to your second place last year. ” I shrugged a little but as soon as his lips pulled into a slight smirk my eyes rolled on their own. “ Surprise, surprise, I followed your career. Just as much as you followed my life for the past few months. ” I poked him in the ribs with my finger, making him wince for a second before we both started laughing at the little sound he made.

“ Fair. I still hate how Instagram shows who opened your stories. ” He shook his head a little and both of our heads turned towards the water when we realized the background chatting was getting closer and closer to where we were sitting. They were just a few meters away when my eyes landed on their figures and I sensed when Marcus stood up from next to me, making me push myself up too.

I didn’t feel too anxious about him meeting my other friends, although I knew what this meant for my evening at the dorm with them. They would have an immense amount of questions both about him and us, even though I already mentioned him when we were bringing up our past. A few of them even knew about my past feelings about him and how him reappearing on my socials played with my emotions, but they only saw a few photos of him. This was another level and I knew he would be the topic for at least the next week between us, for one reason or another. Depends on how we get on from this point and if we manage to keep in contact when they have to fly away again.

“ Oh, I knew it wasn’t just my imagination. I told you someone was coming here. ” My roommate spoke up as soon as they got close enough to make us out from the darkness. “ You’re Marcus, right? ” She stepped right in front of him, reaching her hand out while introducing herself. I always admired her boldness even in front of strangers.

“ Yes, although I didn’t know so many people knew me from here. ” Marcus let out an uneasy chuckle, looking at me a bit concerned. I just shook my head dismissively, almost telling him that it was just a ‘Girl group’ thing. Relief washed over me though that I didn’t share a lot about him, behind his back.

I watched from the sideline as everyone introduced themselves to him and for a second it felt domestic as all of them shot me a concerned glance towards me. It felt like they would pounce at him if they saw that I was uncomfortable in his presence. While it made me feel loved in a way, I also didn’t want them to really chip on the situation. It was something that better dealt with in private as I felt like we had to talk lots of things through to get back to the friendship we left behind years ago. This wasn’t the setting for a conversation like that.

“ We should probably get home before it gets really late. School won’t wait in the morning. ” I spoke up before any of them could start questioning him. We would never be able to get going then. “ Maybe we can catch up sometime before the race? I’m sure you will have enough to do during the weekend. ” I turned back towards Marcus who looked just as relieved as I did seconds ago.

“ Yeah, that would be better. Maybe lunch, or a coffee in the afternoon? Whenever you’re free of course. ” He nodded a little, still glancing at the girls who were either packing up or staring him down behind me.

“ I’m up for either of those. Surprise me. ” I grinned at him, feeling the pull on my arm when everyone was ready. “ Is your number the same? ” I asked him, already taking a step back, but waiting for his answers.

“ Yes. Never changed. ” Marcus nodded again, a little smile playing on his lips at the idea that we’re going to meet up again probably. At least I hoped so. Why else would he stalk me down and come up to me for a chat?

“ I’m gonna text you in the morning when’s my last lecture. We can meet up after that. ” I told them, before turning around with one last wave and catching up to my group. I could only hope that they would at least let me sleep before the questions start pouring out of them all at once.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Shadow Into Light (Lena Retrospective): Friendship Hates Magic! (Commission by WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people! And welcome, and to some of you welcome back to Shadow Into Light, my fully paid for but gladly done Lena retrospective, covering everyone’s faviorite lesbian emo shadow’s personal jounrey through all three seasons and some brucey bonuses.

So this time we pick up in mid-season 2.. yes MID season 2. Though for once taking so long to adress things had valid reasons. It dosen’t make the 8 month wait for Lena to return and for Violet to show up, her concept art having been shown off shortly before Shadow War aired during San Diego Comic Con, any less aggravating, especially since the episode did air overseas before that but never leaked anywhere properly. So I knew she’d be okay but not HOW. 

As I said though.. they had their reasons. The episode was set for episode 8 in production order, right behind whatever Happened to Della Duck? which answered the other big cliffhanger from season 1, Della’s exile on the moon. So while this episode was back in the queue, along with Della’s, which had to wait till after the christmas episode to air because said episode takes place before it. So waiting on this episode was fair on the crew’s part even knowing it was a hiatus. 

It ended up getting pushed back by a week once the episodes started airing.. but as outlined last time, THIS TIME Disney actually moved it for good reason instead of just doing so because shut up. See the problem with moving episodes around in season 2.. is Della’s return. Several episodes that in theory could’ve easily been pushed back instead of this one, Depths of Cousin Fethry, Treasure of the Found Lamp... couldn’t because they take place BEFORE Della came back and it’d be weird to air them after.  One features Donald, the other dosen’t but still lacks Della and it’d be weird if it did> While this episode takes place before Della comes back or was at least meant to, no one appears in person, and Beakly mentoning “the boys and scrooge” at the bin could simply be her forgetting Della’s a part of things for a second. It’s not entirely in character, but it’s much easier than explaning why Della’s not there and Donald is. 

They also moved one episode ahead of this.. but it’s one I approve of. See from episode 7 onward the episodes were aired in week long duckbombs, woo-ooo. I I don’t fault disney for it or the reason I suspect they had for doing this: while it wasn’t the intended way of airing, they likely did this airing style to get shows on Disney Plus quicker for it’s debut and given they’ve sunk a LOT of money into the streaming service and it’s a key part of their future, I can’t blame them for wanting the entire series thus far on the platform at launch. It’s one of if not their most popular show at the moment. They wanted it front and center. 

So this one took an extra week to air, and an extra day as they aired raiders of the doomsday vault right after Della’s return in “Nothing Can Stop Della Duck!”.. which is also not a bad move. Fans wanted more of Della and her bonding with the kids, I wanted more of that so while the wait was grumble inducing, it was worth the tradeoff to get more of this character and her bonding with Dewey.. and let’s face it Glomgold.  You know what i’m about at this point. 

So there were delays but not the mind boggling ones that reshuffled the season last time and by next season there’d be zero reshuffling with both holiday episodes designed to go anywhere. So with the history and the agonizing wait out of the way join me under the cut as a snark knight returns, a new fan faviorite debuts and Beakly gets sucked into Launchpad’s awful fandom. 

We open our story at the Duckburg Library. Man I fucking miss the library. I mean you can go by apointment and what not but I also have library card debt and stuff, and it’s just not the same. 

Anyways naturally Webby is going there to research the Shadow Realm in hopes of finding something to bring Lena back. Last week was “Children’s Card Games, Dark Magic and You! by Professor Yugi Moto which while enlightening got her nowhere. Next up is “Shadow Games on Motorcycles!: How a Crimson Dragon defeated a giant Shadow Monster and brought the dead back and I helped by Doctor Yusei Fudo”. 

But that one’s not in yet so she instead goes to the Librarian to get another book.. and it’s Quackfaster! Horay! As for why she’s working two jobs, she’s saving up for a retirement condo in BIRDDDBAAADDOOOSSSSS. I had to type it that way it’s ape law. 

But her next book “I Went there and it Sucked, My Time in the Shadow Realm by Mayor of New Jersey Joey Wheeler” is taken by “another strange little girl”. Quackfaster, you chase people around with a scimitar. Just accept your the weird one and live with it like me. You’ll be happier that way. 

And so we finally meet Violet whose introduced pitch perfectly. Webby gives out her usual “Hi I”m Webby”.. and Violet simply holds a finger up, finishes her page and gives a simple “Yes?” It demonstrates her quite nature, her love of reading and her lack of social skills all in one fell swoop. The ensuing dead language off is also pretty damn adorable reminding me of that scene from “Lisa’s Wedding” where she and Hugh fight over a book and reading it before making out.. minus the making out because these are children, no one wants that, and Webby is taken. .and even then again children. Most we get is an innocent peck and some blushing. 

So Violet, finding out Webby needs it and is researching the arcane too offers to research together tonight, bringing a sleeping bag just in case it goes on long... to Lena’s unheard objections as she’s rattled by the break in her normal routine with Webby, and the possibility of Webby falling for someone else. I mean this i framed as a friendship thing... but you can only say “friend” so many times in a work before you sound like a retired grandma in denial about their granddaughter. 

Later at the Mansion, Beakley is enjoying a nice quiet afternoon to herself. Turns out once a month Scrooge has “Binventory Day” where he and the boys catalogue the bin for hours giving her a night to herself and Webby. Webby loudly interuppts the peace as is Cartoon Law, but Beakley is pleased Webby is getting back on the friendship horse. 

Bentina ends up ruining it a bit though by bringing up her previous slumber party disasters... which even Lena at her most jealous admits were her fault and only agrees to in the hopes Webby’s going to cancel. Instead Webby decides to make this the most normal sleepover ever! The one where her new friend is coming to specifically help her with magic. 

 Bentina tries to back her grandaughter/daughter down from this insane logic, but Webby does, if innocently clap back well to her being the one to give her “Be yourself” advice.  “I’m not like you Granny, I need to have friends”

And while Webby quickly flees after Beakley tries to deny it.. she’s not wrong. She has exactly one friend who she works for and no social life to speak of.. and as far as I can tell she’s fine this way. Beakley is happy with her work and raising Webby and has someone to talk to in Scrooge. She has everything she needs, while Webby is a social butterfly.. a socially inept social butterfly. She needs people and loves meeting new people and needs friends and not just her family. One’s an introvert the other’s an extrovert. I’m both at times, and before you ask why yes it is a living nightmare thank you so much for asking. I get where both are coming from. And Beakley clearly had friends at one point it’s just a long war with FOWL and a sudden granddaughter probably whittled it down to just Scrooge. It’s okay to be yourself. 

So this is where the plotlines split off, so as usual, i’m splitting the up. 

Launchpad and Beakley in Getting To Know You And Getting Sucked INto Your Strange and Lovely Fandom

So Beakley naturally cries out “name one person I don’t get along with.. and in walks Launchpad , Nature’s Perfect Himbo, having destroyed the gate and at least being honest he probably will again. Why he’s here when the boys and Scrooge are all gone? 

But I don’t care as this subplot is just.. a nonstop delight. Starting with Beakly inviting Launchpad to sup with her.. which just confuses him. Look Bentina you have to use small words.. it’s a miracle he gets up in the morning, dreses himself and hasn’t died in a tragic gasoline fight accident. You have to know your audience. Still funny.

And “not knowing your audience” continues as Beakly serves them pea soup but Launchpad is intimidated by the spoons and while she does offer to help instead tries to use all of them then a straw and then falls facedown in his soup. And this is the SECOND TIME Beakly’s left someone living at the mansion to die. I mean that’s not a lot but it’s still weird it happened twice. 

Finally they sit quitely, Beakly reading the Scarlet Pimpernell, and Launchpad doing a coloring book. And besides the odd couple energy what I really like about this subplot.. is that it fleshes Beakly out> This is one of her ONLY plots in the entire goddamn series, yes really. 70 episodes and she only got five spotlight episodes/plots. But it does at least show her off: her upperclass pedigree we really don’t see often, showing that while she applied to the job as maid out of necisity she knows her stuff, her love of classic literature and her being out of touch with the common person. It’s not a ton but it’s more than ninja butler or “stop having fun with your kids della and be a parent”. I mean she wasn’t wrong but she could’ve been nicer about it given the circumstances. 

So Launchpad, given Beakley’s never shown any interest in him as a person before, assumes she’s going to fire him and was just softening him up. I mean Scrooge himself outright said he never would and if he did he’d do it to your face, hard as it’d be. But that aside, he’s fine with getting to know her once he knows that no he’s not being fired she just wanted to hang out, he’s everyone’s friend. But naturally an upperclash british former super spy and a dumb as a bucket with a heart of gold pilot have nothing in common, not even aircraft as “plane go up, plane crash going down’ is about the extent of his actual knowledge on aircraft that isn’t instinct or dumb luck. 

He does manage to break the ice though, mistaking her book for a Darkwing Duck book and deciding to show her the show since it might be something they have in common. At first she’s as unintuhsed as you’d expect a british lady who never watches the telly watching a 90′s kids show would be.. but by the end she’s gotten all the way into it.

 It’s really endearing, showning that two vastly diffrent people with nothing can common can be brought together by something as simple and glorious as liking the same show. I’ve had it happen with me. She naturally is all for filiming his fanscript after the finale provides no answers, being the one to suggest it and the two end the episode shooting it with her in full darkwing duck cosplay. I’ts a cute and entertaining subplot and a nice contrast to the main plot which while not super dark, does have a fog of tension over it. Speaking of which. 

Webby, Lena and Violet: In Two’s Company, Three Accidently Creates Monsters That Nearly Take Your Girlfriend Off Into The Shadowy Abyss So the slumber party gets underway with Webby shooing away Duckworth after clearing out her room to greet Violet herself and violet having brought pie... a great callback to an earlier joke where Webby wondered if pie was normal at a sleepover. No but it should be. So Webby welcomes her in to her totally normal room devoid of anything. Nothing suspicious about that. 

So Violet tries to get her into research, specifically Tulpas, an actual magical concept, a mental construct of some kind created out of desire, imagination or what have you. Gee I wonder if that will come into play this episode. Webby.. wants to play baggle or what have you or do makeovers and drags Violet along to do the second thing after Violet asks about Magica.  Lena then finds something glowing in Violet’s bag...specifically, her old amulet, cracked but still working and flowing with Magica’s power. 

Lena assumes Violet is Magica and goes to warn Webby only to find her HORRIBLY MUTATED! Naturally it’s a misdirect, as it turns out Violet is just REALLY good at special effects makeup. It’s something I honestly forgot about her... i’m betting one of her dad’s is an effects artist. Just saying that’d be neat. But Webby gives the “i’m normal really even though I live in a giant mansion with my dad I don’t know is my dad and my grandma whose actually my adopted mom” game away by pointing out the demon’s fang is crooked and Violet is curious and heads to Webby’s room finding a picture from said demon. He signed it and everything. Good man that Rakshaka. 

Webby is worried Violet will be freaked out by all the weird but nope, she enjoys it. And it’s not a suprise: violet is actively researching the shadow dimension. Why WOULD she be scared off. The conflict was in Webby’s head all along.. and partly out of PTSD, but we’ll get to that. Webby still tries to get her to baggle but they settle on ancient rune dice baggle and summoning some spirits. Lena scoffs.. until it actually works. It does make sense though: As we’ll see in her last starring role, Lena is kinda like Wanda Maximoff: she has an extreme amount of power but she has no idea how to use it and is simply making up most of her magic as she goes along or took magica’s lead. But the spell means Lena can touch the dice so she spells out don’t trust her.. but forgets she’s dealing with two nerds who love unlocking puzzles and assume the message is on the dice themselves. 

Webby and Violet decide they need more clarity and resume the seance.. which summons mysterious white shadow creatures Lena saw before.. .some now taking Magica’s shape. And Lena’s panicked “Oh not again” says it all. So Lena tries the tried and true bedsheet ghost cliche, grumbling about it but showing up as a ghost without any abillity to speak or talk to webby dosen’t do anything and Violet tackles the sheet before deciding to grab the amulet to dispiate the spirit.. only for Lena to show up for a breif second before she does show making the panicked child look incredibly supscious. 

Webby naturally tackles and interrogates Violet wanting the full story. And it turns out the big secret is.. Violet is entirely normal. Nothing to do with Magica, no possesions or secretly being her or a minon of hers... she was just a logic obsessed 12 year old who thought magic was a myth.. until the Shadow War proved “Nope it’s real everything you know is wrong. Up is down black is white and short is long”. She just happened to be close to the bin and found the amulet when the remains of the staff fell near her and compacted back into it. 

It’s a brilliant reveal. See first watch around your genuinely unsure if Violet is a real person or not.. unless you went in knowing she is, but semantics. Point is most first time viewers didn’t know she’d be a beloved member of the supporting cast and didn’t know what to expect. But looking back... it makes no sense. If Magica had the amulet.. why would she need to infiltrate the mansion. Revenge? Possibly but she’d want Scrooge there too. Even being evil on her own Violet had valid opportunity to pilfer Webby’s magical items, she has an entire box of magic rocks right there and then simply zap her with the amulet. But she didn’t.. because Violet is a person.  When she DOES use it she’s utterly terrified, and we can see her breathing heavy, scared.. something Magica has NEVER been of Lena. To Violet it was just a ghost. Webby hadn’t told her about lena and any information she had about her was second hand from newspapers and the like. 

Webby is sympathetic, as Violet’s feeling of being sheltered from this greater world naturally resonates and while Lena is still supscious, having reincorperated, it’s clear Webby trusts violet and simply dosen’t want to loose another friend to magic. Here trying to hide it now takes another tone.. she knows Lena was behind it.. but is so afraid of it consuming violet the way it did Lena, she forgets almost ALL of the weird magic stuff in sleepovers was magica’s manipulation, and that Lena died because her creator was a monster, not because of magic. Magic is not inherently good or bad, it just is, and that will come back as a theme in a few episodes. It allowed Magica to ravage the town and kill Lena.. but it allowed Lena to exist in the first place and while the terrible events with Magica clearly shook her.. it also shook violet out of her complacency and got her to research a world she never would’ve considered. Good can come from bad. 

And it’s with this in mind that Violet.. does not give up. She’s stayed in her box enough.. and now she knows the spirit is a friendly one.. she figures they can bring Lena BACK using the amulet. After all it was lena’s and the source of her powers.. it might be the key to reiviving her. And while Lena, if invisibly as always, remarks it’s dangerous.. Webby, with no hesitation agrees to get her girlfriend back. It’s risky sure.. but what Lena hasn’t gotten is she’s WORTH the list. She’s so full of self loathing from both her manupations of webby and Magica’s gaslighting and abuse that she can’t see herself being worth anything even as Webby spent MONTHS trying to save her, clearly still loves her, and only didn’t want violet getting hurt because she misses her.  Webby still loves and needs her for who Lena is.. Lena just can’t it and it hurts to think about that. 

So the girls once again try to summon Lena and it starts to work.. but also summons the Tulpa’s back... this time taking Magica’s form and causing a suspcious lena to panic.. and suck both of them into the shadow realm. We get the reunion we’ve been waiting for as Webby tackle hugs her happily.

But it’s soon cut short as Lena still thinks Violet is just manipulating Webby, lying to her and that “she’s mine!”

For the record Joss Whedon sucks, not taking that out on Anthony Stewart Head  or the guys who actually wrote the episode. Moving on. 

I feel Lena’s jealousy comes from the aformentioned self loathing, mixed with a life of having to live just to surivive at the beck and call of a throughly awful person who didn’t consider her a sentient being worthy of anything especially love. She can’t fathom anyone else loving Webby the way she does because she feels once webby has anyone else.. she won’t need her. It’s toxic and wrong.. but it’s easy to see why that’d happen when sh’es only had one healthy relationship. She barely knows the boys, Beakly only grew to tolerate her and she was only friends with Scrooge for like.. a minute. Webby is the only person she knows, loves and trusts and she just can’t risk loosing that and can’t convince herself to share. 

In a realistic scenario Lena would have to simply learn to trust and let her girlfriend have other relationshps and that hogging her all to herself is inhernetly toxic and bad. And while she still does we’re talking about a living pile of shadows smooching a clone, so yeah instead the tulpas come out and drag her off..and take Lena’s form. While Lena tries to blame Violet, Violet has absolutley none of that and makes Lena see the hard truth: Lena is so worried about being forgotten, she created the tulpas by accidnet. As I said her power is raw and unfocused.. so she didn’t do it on purpose nor did she realize how toxic she was being. This finally snaps Lena back to reality, and see Violet geniunely cares about Webby and any ulterior motives were just in her head, so the two agree to work together, using a similar chant to the one from Jaws to destroy the Tulpas and save Webby.

So the shadow realm is disapated and our trio are returned to the human world.. but Lena, not being part of it and no longer having a tether.. starts to disolve, with a really heartbreaking scene of Webby holding her hand, as does violet. But.. then a miracle happens. Since the Bracelet was Lena’s link to Webby, and to her own magic, with it and the amulet close by.. both swirl around Lena, and the power of love.. for a new friend and a first love... revivies her. Mist parts.. and we get one heartwarming sign that after all this time  “I’m back?!” Lena is confused.. but once again part of this plane of reality. She’s free and WEbby triumphanthly hugs her with Violet joining in. By letting go of her hate.. Lena returned to who she loved. They also run into the end of the other subplot and Launchpad’s casual hey lena is just great. 

So our heroes are reunited and doing horror makeup and I really love Webby’s updo here and wish more works fan nd otherwise used it. WE get a final fakeout as Lena seemingly disovles and Violet reveals herself as magica.. only for it to be a prank and Webby to just be glad the love of her life and her new best friend get a long. We get one last hearwarming image and we close out.. with Lena finally having what she always wanted freedom. And while she may not know it yet in accepting violet.. she’s finally found family. More on that in a few weeks. 

Final Thoughts: This episode is excellent. It’s not the best of the Lena arc, that comes next and it does drag once or twice.. but overall it’s a really great character piece, with a nice ballance betwen the tense main plot and the funny and goofy subplot. It adds more to Lena’s character, finally brings her back, while giving us a new and throughly fascenating new character to rave about in Violet, as well as giving Webby her own personal squad. It’s a great episode.. and only leads to a better one. But we’ll get to that in a week or so. First we have a bit of a detour and my plug. 

If you liked this review, follow for more, spread it around, and join my patreon. It’s almost time for new patreons to pay up and if you hit my stretch goal i’ll review a darkwing duck episode next month and every month! We’re just five bucks away people! And if you’d like to just comission a review directly it’s just 5 bucks an episode and avaliable via my dms, ask or discord. 

Next Time on Shadow Into Light: We take a break from the last two Lena episodes to go to one of her sources as we head back to Ducktales 87 with Magica’s Shadow War! I know almost nothing going in so... Shadow betrayals and stuff? Yay?

Tommorow: It’s Fenton’s birthday! And since i’ve done a LOT of ducktales recently and can’t do super ducktales till I hit my next stretch goal at 25 bucks, we’re going back to ST Canard at long last for Gizmoducks second apperance.. which can’t possibly be worse than the first so i’m excited. Let’s get dangerous tommorow!

[endlessdoom]

Abyssal Speedmapping Session #10

By various authors led by Obsidian

10 maps

2014

https://www.doomworld.com/idgames/levels/doom2/Ports/a-c/abyspe10

MAP01: Dirge of the Blighted Ovum by Obsidian

The introduction to this new project throws us into a small, compact map that seems reminiscent of fireblu but in a more attractive way. The glitched visuals and the use of two-color textures remind me of Tron, creating an interesting environment that matches the square box architecture. With only a handful of monsters, the action unfolds quickly in effective single combat that works to keep us on our toes. With no secrets or further exploration, this map works effectively without needing to be extremely complex or bombastic. A solid example of a good introduction. 3/5

MAP02: Tyson Fun! by Darsycho

As short as the previous one but with a simpler style and more adaptable to the eyes. This is a classic map in terms of structure and design, without major revolutions or anything special to offer. The title indicates that it is designed for Tyson, but if we bring the shotgun from the previous map it is slightly faster, although doing it in Tyson is balanced enough to offer a good minute of fun. The combat is simple and the layout understandable, go left and then right and that's it, you have completed it. It's not bad, but it's not great either, it's just average. 3/5

MAP03: Jimmy Has An Essay Due Tomorrow But Instead He's Speedmapping With These Assholes by Jimmy

Jimmy is considered a master of the art of speedmapping, and here we can see that even in his early days he was able to handle the concept in a theatrical and fantastic way. This is a medium sized map with a more practical and classic design that shows us an interesting facet of the project. With simple but attractive visuals and a decent queue of enemies, the map follows half-traditional routes that create an environment quite attractive and entertaining to play, as well as slightly challenging at times. While my enjoyment was being quite high due to the map's great length, it is interrupted with a stupid exit at the end of the map that I still don't understand exactly how to overcome. A dozen Archies on top of you and I don't know what the fuck to do. Mind you, this is a common thing in A.S.S. so, anyway, how's that? 3/5

MAP04: Nazi Tittyflake Tornadoes by Unholypimpin

Such an extravagant title brings with it a map that is relatively simple. This map has an air of shovelware shit, and for some reason that gives me a charismatic charm that makes me feel graceful. It's a simple, straightforward map with no major problems or bugs. On the outside it looks pretty simple but as we go deeper we find some pretty hellish and rusty textures that remind me of Silent Hill, as well as a bunch of blue Nazi sergeants ready to attack us and a few more surprises involving Cyberdemons and a few little spiders. Not bad, very enjoyable and for some reason I can't get out of my head that feeling that I just played a hidden gem of shovelware from the 90s. That's good in my book! 3/5

MAP05: Cookies 'n Wine by ClonedPickle

Fairly square and open in the beginning, presenting a simple layout with bland combat without much complication. The map then changes to cave-like interiors and launches us into an adventure of hunting spectres and so on. It ends with an obligatory death-exit, in my opinion, and that's it. Nothing more, nothing less. This is a fairly simple map that is not complicated at all and follows a somewhat boring system at times. With quite simple visuals and without much work, it is probably one of the most mediocre of the WAD. 2/5

MAP06: Spatterblue 2: Mosh Galosh by Alfonzo

It is hard to believe that this map is a speedmap, but the truth is that it contains certain features that give it that air, but above all, it overcomes the restrictions and works perfectly well under its limits. The blue visual theme and the compact but excellent way of creating a well designed circuit layout make this a very enjoyable and challenging map under its own justifiable terms. It is fast, intense and has a good flow with no bugs or major problems. Even the little secrets feel like they blend perfectly under the established system. It may be quite small, but it's so much fun that it's among my favorites of this session. Pretty cool and done as it should be. Speedmapping done right! 4/5

MAP07: Industrial Butt Scream by Rottking

If you like Quake, this map will give you a good game. Quite brown, enclosed and with an industrial feel. Designed with a system based on a block layout, the map is simple in its flow but has enough touches to make it entertaining, attractive and fun in gameplay and action. Without major complications and with a basic closed layout. Not bad at all! 3/5

MAP08: Alfonzo and Gary Oldman Visit The Museum of Social Decay! by Tarnsman

Oh oh, I hope you like fireblu and pain. This map has a style that reminds me of the first one, but it opens its limits and shows us a more bloody and intense frontier. Plenty of chaingunners serve as the main appetizer, but things get even fatter when we're thrown into an insane room with dozens of archies and a Cyberdemon for company. With a super simple and compact layout, the real juice of this map is centered on its atrocious yet cool gameplay. A bit bland visually at times but interesting and engaging. 3/5

MAP09: Avoid by General Rainbow Bacon

More blue and red but in a style that reminds me of a dungeon. This dark map establishes an eerie atmosphere thanks to the silence and anticipation, but ends up being a traditional map with a few explosive surprises near the end. Simple, without much to offer and quite short. Not bad, not good. Decent. 3/5

MAP10: Half-Assed Fun! by Darsycho

The title gives us an idea of the type of map it is. Half finished, half fucked up, but decent by its own standards. Dark and full of Spectres, the real fun of the map lies in the BFG spamming and the pile of monsters we have to kill. Difficulty is almost nil, aside from the first room that features some fun combat, after that it's just point-and-click or fire-and-forget. I guess it's entertaining enough under ASS's own characteristics to say it does a good enough job. But it's meh in my opinion. 2/5

End.

Overall:

» Ah, speedmapping. We all love it, we all hate it. An art as old as the history of WADs itself, and one that has proven to bring with it both the worst mappers in history and the best. It's a difficult technique to acquire, but one that with time and practice can yield fantastic results. The very idea of limiting ourselves to a certain set time can be detrimental at worst, but at best, when we give the tools to an artist looking for a challenge, masterful work can result. Here we have a group of illustrious intellectuals who have come together to form a cooperation that is as unique as it is discordant. One where love and hate mix to enjoy one single thing: creating maps. Abyssal Speedmapping Sessions is all about speed, asses and Alfonzo. So, let's dive into this hole and see how deep it goes. After a somewhat long break from the first sessions, I suddenly had the urge to return to this iconic series that from time to time hides more than a few gems, or a total disaster. Luckily, session #10 seems to be a good balance between shitposting and good map design. Very entertaining maps, indeed! Mappers had the option to choose 3 textures from: Erratic Texture Pack 1, DrDoctor Texture Pack and Marcaek's Super Special FIREBLU Ensemble! So most of the maps are quite simple to look at but contain enough touches to establish a good visual rhythm. Considering there are no stock textures, that alone gives it some appeal. Especially striking are the fireblu textures, which create a rather techy atmosphere that reminds me of the original Tron movie. A certain visual touch, from a couple of colors that manage to create enough depth to establish a sense of place. Not all maps are entirely blue with red, and there are a few surprises that turn the color around and bring attractive designs. Quake-inspired maps and some that look like sapphires to boot. Undoubtedly, even if most of the maps have a rather simple and plain layout, no map is truly ugly and some even stand out for having a solid visual quality. The sessions stand out for being crazy gameplay as well. It's often hard to balance something if you have a time limit, especially if it's only two hours, but the guys here know what they're doing... mostly. Most of the maps throw you right into the action, trying to create a tactical feeling that tells you how to move and at the same time how to fight. The maps aren't fucking difficult but maintain a solid and balanced challenge that welcomes all types of players, in my opinion. While certain combat can feel a bit simple at times, overall, each map brings something different to the table and creates a nice variety of treats to try.

[itsanidiom]

Tagged by both @pb-nj and @deepwoundsandfadedscars~<3 <3

1. why did you choose your url?

It’s from an argument I had with my sister once LOL she mixed up the idiom ‘under my belt’ and said ‘I’ve got that behind my belt’. A lot of people get that idiom wrong and me being a little shit was like ‘um actually...’ LOL anyway the argument ended with me shouting ‘IT’S AN IDIOM’ ...but also I just really like idioms in all languages <3 

2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

QUITE A FEW: Luxor City book blog: @the-empires-of-luxor-city Music blog: @pianissimomezzoforte Future book aesthetic blog (VuX): @vanguard-unit-x Future book aesthetic blog (Swan Lake): @lebedinoeozero

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

According to my mass post editor April 2011 but I know it was actually summer 2010 so I probably deleted a lot of old posts LOL

4. do you have a queue tag?

No~ I think I just queue things sometimes and don’t mention if it’s a queue or not LOL I am on here at random times all the time anyway so you’d never know XD

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

I graduated HS in 2010. I got into a summer art school program to learn about First Nations art because I’m like 1/8 Seminole. A friend in class was like “have you heard of tumblr?” and I was like “No” and thus I was sucked into this place and doomed to spend eternity wandering the...

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Because Oscar Isaac is BAE and Disney did him dirty (along with everyone else in The Force Awakens)

7. why did you choose your header?

Because TOG is one of the best action movies I’ve seen in a LONG time and I love it and I need 2 Old 2 Guard NETFLIX PLEASE STOP CLOWNING ME (;A;)

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

Ah yes~ Les temps de ‘Les Misérables’~ I miss that fandom haha 

9. how many mutuals do you have?

I dunno! Quite a few over the years, but many are not active anymore.

10. how many followers do you have?

too many...I love you all but why are you here? lol <3

11. how many people do you follow?

201

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

Yes...but not too often...cause if they blow up i must suffer the consequences

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Your honor...I plead the 5th

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

This also harkens back to the Les Misérable days. I got into a lot of fights with people who thought they knew French and the works of Victor Hugo better than me (fyi: they didn’t). I will always remember this one because it was so stupid and made me SO mad. They were arguing with me about how to pronounce something in French. I have shitty French now yes but I grew up going to French school so I know how to pronounce shit. It was literally Enjolras’ name (“Ahn-Jol-Rah” vs “Ahn-Jol-Ras”). I was like the ‘s’ is pronounced if there’s a vowel starting the next word after it but it’s not pronounced if you just say his name like “Il s'appelle Enjolras” vs “Enjolras a quitté le café”. Anyway they were like “YOU’RE FUCKING STUPID MY GRANDMA IS HALF FRENCH AND SHE SAID...” I just blocked them... LOL (^^;) Anyway enjoy the mini French lesson and rant

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I usually don’t reblog the post...guilt tripping isn’t my schtick...

16. do you like tag games?

Yeah! I like answering them but sometimes I don’t like thinking about who to tag (see question 20)

17. do you like ask games? 😊

Also yes~!

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Well, I’m still somehow mutuals with @brilcrist​‘s side blog @brilandsurrounding​ (LOL let’s remind her she has a side blog again after like 5 years XD) her art is freaking amazing though she’s mainly migrated away from tumblr during the great purge (follow her on IG you won’t regret). 

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

Ehhhhh...no...

20. tags?

No tags~ we end here like kings~ XD

[caroline18mars]

A Man On Fire - Chapter 81

“Everything’s ready outside” walking back inside the kitchen, he was met by a spoon full of homemade guacamole “taste! Needs a lot more garlic, doesn’t it?” she puffed a strand of hair out of her eyes looking a little bewildered. “It’s absolutely perfect..” he licked his lips and then looked at the kitchen counter with a million pots, pans, bowls with the most delish food “wooow, wait a minute, you’re cooking up a feast and it’s just a little evening with friends” grinning he took another scoop of the guacamole. “I know but..no, I don’t know, I just thought it’s easier to talk with some good food..oh I still need to make the mozza bowls, arrghh” she spun on her heels but he grabbed her arm “will you just chill? You’ve done more than enough so you go take a nice shower, make yourself even prettier than you already are, I’ll take all this outside in the meantime..oh and stop being nervous, they’ll adore you, trust me”. He pulled her in his arms to plant a soft kiss on her lips that got too deep too quickly “stop it, I’m sticky” she pulled back, waving her fingers covered in guacamole and tomato sauce in front of his face, which was his queue to slowly put two of her fingers in his mouth, ohhh god, erotic much? She already felt her stomach tingle “Oh no you don’t, I know what you’re up to mister, no way, you’ll just have to wait until your bedtime”. That sexy, silly pout of his, walk away now or find yourself shoved against a kitchen counter while he takes you from behind, just the thought of her body being completely owned and possessed by him had her all moist, “Ok ok ok, I don’t like it, but ok” he let her fingers slip out of his mouth and reluctantly let go of her. “Good boy!” she quickly wiped her hands on a towel and hopped on out the kitchen, Jared had a grin from ear to ear until she was out of sight and was met again by a kitchen that looked like a bomb had exploded, sighing he opened the dishwasher door, it’s only fair, she cooked, you clean.

Hair, outfit..hmm, I don’t know, should I wear th.. her thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell, ok leave it, it is what it is, you did your best, nervously she walked down the stairs, Jared was on his way to open the door when she walked down, wowww, she looked absolutely breathtaking. “You look..gorgeous” he smiled up at her, the fact that his friend were on the other side of the door completely forgotten about, “thank you! Uhm floppy hair, your friends are waiting” she giggled. “Heellooo sexy” a skinny, dark haired girl jumped in his arms, purring in his ear, a few friends he said..god, I hope there’s enough food for everyone, she took the last steps and slowly walked up to the bunch of people trickling inside. Should I introduce myself? Stop being so awkward De Robiano, just smile and act confident with the emphasis on ‘act’, “you must be Jared’s new flame” one of the girls noticed her standing behind Jared, “I’m Harper Coco, nice to meet you” she extended her hand, too formal maybe? I’m just not a hugger. The girl lifted her eyebrow at Jared like this was probably the most awkward way that she had been greeted in her entire life, yep Harper, you fucked up, what was it your mother said ‘you can never make a first impression twice’?. But after a few seconds she took Harper’s hand and lightly shook it, ugghh fishhands, Harper uncomfortably pulled back her hand, luckily Jared saved the day “alright alright, you know the way, we’re in the garden” he pointed at the back of the house. “You ok?” he whispered as the gang headed towards the back of the house, “yep, I’ll just go get the bottles” she smiled but he could see the nervous clench in her jaw, “it’s gonna be fine, trust me” he kissed the tip of her nose.

By the time every guest had a drink and something to eat, it was an hour later and the excited conversations were flowing around the table, with all her walking in and out there was only one spot free tucked away at the end of the table. Plopping down on her chair, she took a sip of her wine and tried to follow the conversation, but they were all so wrapped up in each other that she couldn’t get two words in, Jay looked completely in his element though, talking and laughing. Stop stressing, just enjoy the moment, enjoy your man who is in his element like you’ve never seen him before, she leaned back, lit up her cigarette and took a sip of her wine, the weather here reminded her of those Italian summer evenings in a way but did she warm up to LA yet? Nope! Not really, this just wasn’t her home..yet..would it ever be? Come on, make an effort, your man calls it home, then surely you can too. While the rest of the table was reminiscing about previous tours and things only they could know, the guy on her right gave her a friendly smile “so, how’s LA treating ya?”. She gave him an equally friendly smile back “I’m still trying to find my way round I guess..it’s not New York, that’s for sure!” he had really friendly eyes and seemed pretty genuine which was so refreshing in LA-la land. “I’m sorry, where are my manners? I don’t think we’ve been introduced, I’m Harper Coco” she extended her hand which he grabbed and gently shook “Oh you’re right, sorry, I’m Cooper..I’m with Marie-Lou” he pointed at one half of the twin sisters who are curling around Jared. “Aha..” she looked to get a better look of the girl but nah..still ordinary, oh for crying out loud Coco, stop it, for all you know she might be the sweetest woman alive “..and what does Cooper do, besides being Marie-Lou's boyfriend?” she turned her attention at the man again, “I work for a local art dealer”. Her head shot up, he really had her attention now “oh! You buying or selling? Contemporary or classic?” she took another drag of her cigarette, “I’m a buyer and I also scout new talent, shame that you signed with Charles already” he gave her a coy smile “your work is so, so..amazing!”. What?? A fan? “you know my work?” she said genuinely surprised, “know your work? Oh Harper, you really are too precious, how can anyone not be a fan of your work? everyone in the business is asking where Charles has kept you hidden for so long? Your work is such a breath of fresh air..it’s shocking and relevant and completely..” he rambled but paused to find the right words “new..it’s unlike anything anyone has ever seen before”. A warm blush crept around her cheeks, she never knew what to do with compliments of this magnitude “Uhm..thank you”, she wanted to shout at him that she was in a complete panic now that all her inspiration seemed to have dried up but she kept her cool and gave him a grateful nod instead.

”Excuse me a second, I think everyone is ready for a second round of drinks and nibbly things” she got up from her chair, oh come on Jay, get up for a second and help me, talk to me, I just want a few minutes with you, but he didn’t even notice, too wrapped up in his conversations. “Need some help?” Cooper spontaneously got up as well and followed her back to the house, in the kitchen she started rummaging through the fridge, taking out a huge pitcher of L’americano cocktail and then started taking out what seemed like a hundred different bowls of delish food “oh my, a crazy talented painter and a cook as well, Jared is a lucky man”. She never was good with compliments and this man was full of them “thank you, you’re too kind, but why don’t we take all this outside and then you have to tell me all about your job” she blushed and stammered as she handed him the pitcher. Walking back to the table with her hands full, she stopped behind Jared’s chair “Jay, can you make a bit of room and take these?” but he didn’t seem to hear her and the tray was getting really heavy. “Jay?” she kicked his chair a little to make him notice her but like this afternoon he was too wrapped in his bubble of friends, and it was exactly the same girl, Chloe?? Who had to make him aware that she was standing right behind him. “Oh sorry, didn’t see you there” he turned in his chair to take the tray from her, maybe she’d expected him to say something sweet or pull her against him for a second but there was none of that, trying not to look too frustrated she hurried back to her seat. “Try not to stress, I get the same thing with Marie-Lou, she forgets who I am when this bunch gets together, I only decided to come along when I heard who Jared’s new girlfriend was” Cooper shrugged when she sat down again. “I’m not stressing, anyway, let’s talk about you and your job” she quickly pushed a piece of bruschetta in her mouth.

”She’s awfully quiet, isn’t she? She didn’t even try and engage in the conversation” Chloe put her arm on Jared’s back as she stared at Harper sitting by the pool while the party was just getting started. Jared felt so lightheaded, he had way too much to drink “Harper? Oh Chloe, you don’t know what you’re talking about, she’s just got a lot on her mind..she’s been through so much with her family..and she’s still getting used to LA”. Chloe shifted in her seat not too convinced “whatever, just sounds like she's a lot of work, to me..anyway, come on old man and dance with me” she shot up, grabbed his hand and started yanking it. “No, leave it Chloe, I’m gonna check on Coco” he got up but then he watched her get up too, putting her phone to her ear she hurried back to the house, “oh come on, let her take that call, in the meantime you and I are gonna hit your cute improvised dancefloor right now” she pushed him in the direction of the pool. “We haven't talked since..well you know since that horrible night, you didn't return any of my calls, and I can understand why but believe me I've been so worried about you, I just wanted to see how you're holding up?” her brother's voice wurmed itself into her ear, why did she have to pick up? Sighing she sat down at the bottom of the stairs “I moved to LA..to get away from..them” she nearly puked the word “she's..gone way too far, Arno..listen, I know that you're trying to keep me part of the family but you're wasting your time..you heard what she said, she doesn't consider me a part of the family anymore so there's no real point in calling me”. This was a night to forget as soon as possible, who am I kidding, these last couple of days..this whole idea of following her lover to LA was something to forget all about as soon as possible, “you're still my little sister, Coco, that will always make you part of my family..how's LA treating you? And Jared, how is he?” he was determined to keep their conversation going. “Jared has been nothing but kind to me..LA on the other hand..” she pinched the bridge of her nose, no don't dive into all these negative emotions, just try and keep a cool head about it, it's only been days..oh god, I miss New York, I miss getting inspired. “Jared is great, you deserve each other so much, and as far as LA is concerned, it's just a city, and it's only been what? A couple of days? Give it a chance, you've lived all over the world in the past, surely LA will grow on you just like the other countries and cities did” bless him, he was trying to lift her spirits, whether it was working was a whole different matter. “I know..” she sighed, “and how's the painting going?”oh no, straight to the sore spot, “fine..just fine..” she lied, but he was having none of it “ok, out with it, Coco, what's going on?”. Harper bit her lip, should she? “nothing, just a little painter's block, nothing major” oh all those little lies, that is so not you Coco “listen Arno, I've gotta go, there's a party going on here tonight and Jared's gonna start looking for me soon, so..I'll call you next week if that's ok for you?”. Arno was very understanding about it so after saying their goodbyes, she threw the phone next to her, so glad she could stop lying, sighing she put her head on her crossed arms, oh Jared it would be so nice if you would actually come looking for me right now..but you're not are you? Just goes to show how different we really are, you have a life and I don't and boy did the truth hurt right now.

[3starsquinn]

Study Mary || Connor & Orion

Timing: Weekend of 10/17, right before Rio’s birthday

Setting: The Scribrary

Parties: Rio and @connorspiracy

Summary: Rio gets the chance to show off the Scribrary to Connor so they can try to research Bloody Mary. Their search yields minimal results.

Orion has grown accustomed to this. Apparently, the friends that he had been making around town were all just involved in the supernatural as he was. Rio had lists of things he needed to look into at the Scribrary, why not had a ghost of legend come to life to his queue. He pulled into a parking lot on the campus where he was supposed to meet Connor and sat in his car until Connor got there. “Hey!” He waved, “So the building is in the woods behind the campus. Cars can’t get there anymore, so it’s a bit of a walk. The place isn’t exactly… modern. I’ve been trying to clean the place out but it’s really outdated. You ready?”

Connor had several Go Pros on him, along with his regular camera and phone. He didn’t know exactly how much Rio wanted him to film, if anything, but he was curious about this place, and was interested to get it on camera. People made documentaries about crappy things all the time. Why should this be any different? “What, no state of the art streaming set ups in every room?” Connor shook his head. “You should be ashamed,” he teased, giving Rio a wink. “Alright. Lead the way then. Blanche and Adam mentioned you’re kind of the book bloke, so I figured if anyone can find something on Bloody Mary, it’d be you.” He followed wherever Rio led, interested to see the place where Rio housed his books. “Isn’t it a pain in the arse coming here all the time? You ever thought about digitalising it?” 

Orion led the way through the woods. The terrain wasn’t perfect, but it had been worn down from the myriad of trips that Rio and some others had taken to the place. Although he had been more open and willing to show the place to people he still kept access pretty limited. As it was, he had only actually shown a few people how to get into the building. Everyone else needed an escort. “Ha ha. Very funny. I haven’t really gotten the chance to set up internet yet. It’d be a bit difficult to explain that to Spectrum.” Regardless, he appreciated the compliments from Blanche and Adam. He wasn’t sure he believed the kind words, but it was still flattering nonetheless. “I’m pretty used to the hike now, actually. Before I moved in with Winston I sort of lived here for a bit. Unofficially.” Rio’s favorite part about showing the building off to people was getting to the empty clearing where it sat shrouded by magic. “Actually Winston and I are working on digitizing it! They’re building a website and everything and I’m working on moving things over but… well you’ll see for yourself. It’s a lot of stuff to switch over.” Rio moved towards the rotting tree, using the same method his uncle had shown him so many years ago to make the building visible. Once he was done it was as if an invisible fog began to lift as the building slowly became visible. “So uh- The building looks old but I promise it’s safe. The library is a little cleaner than the rest of the space.”

Connor followed, grateful he hadn’t worn any of his nicer clothes for this trip. “This town and its bloody forests,” he joked, grunting as a branch snagged on his jeans. “How’d you even find this place?” It didn’t seem like the sort of place you’d stumble on by accident. Which was probably a good thing, because having all this information out in the woods stuck him as pretty risky. “Winston’s your room mate, yeah? I think Blanche or someone mentioned they’re into computers and gaming and stuff.” He watched as Rio found the way in, raising an impressed eyebrow. “Damn, should’ve filmed this part so I can come back later without you,” he teased. “I’m not scared of rotting old buildings, mate. Look who you’re talking to.” He turned on the GoPro to take some shots, and pulled out his phone too for good measure. He’d probably set up a steady-cam when they were settled in. “Are there ghosts here? It seems haunted as fuck,” he snickered, but followed Rio inside, wide-eyed and impressed. “Damn, I could spend hours exploring this place.” 

“Well this building used to belong to a group of people called the Scribes,” Orion began explaining, though he didn’t want to focus too much on them and bore Connor to sleep, “They used to keep records of the supernatural. My uncle wanted to be one of them. He showed me this place when I was a kid.” Rio was actually surprised that Connor hadn’t met Winston yet given the way the town usually worked, “Yeah! I moved in with them and our roommate Ricky a few months ago. Winston’s a genius with all the computer stuff, way better than me.” Probably not the best resume seller when Connor had just officially hired him to help film and edit, but Rio tended to be painfully honest. Especially when it came to complimenting Winston. “Ha! Okay, yeah fair point. You are alarmingly unafraid of sketchy architecture.” Rio opened the front doors and made his way down the hallways, winding back through the building and towards the library. “Your guess is as good as mine, honestly. I’ve never seen but, but I guess I wouldn’t. You might like to hear that this place has a ton of rooms that are locked and I still can’t get open.”

Rio wiggled his eyebrows and grinned, clearly something that might pique Connor’s curiosity. At the end of the hallway, Rio pushed the big door open into the massive library, book shelves going two more levels and sprawling from floor to ceiling. “Yeah it’s uh- pretty crazy right? This is why I’m still working on digitizing” Rio shrugged but found one of the old work desks and jumped up on it, pulling his laptop free from his bag and opening it up. “But I do have the place mostly organized. My guess is we should start in the section about ghosts and spirits?”

"Oh yeah. I think I've heard of 'em. Used to safeguard supernatural knowledge, have big old archives and stuff. I guess that makes sense." Connor knew about ghosts, demons and the varying types of supernatural to the extent that was expected for someone who made his living filming videos about it, but when they made their way to the massive library, he was struck with the realisation that no matter how much he tried to learn, there'd always be more to know. The fact both excited and intimidated him. "This is sick, mate," he said, rubbing his hands together with enthusiasm as he scoured the shelves. "Right, where’s that section then? We should start with Bloody Mary, yeah? And then maybe possessions and polters, see if we can find something that'll help Nadia and my mate." 

Orion liked seeing people’s reactions to the place. It reminded him of his own reaction when his uncle had brought him here so many years ago. Rio had always been fascinated with books and learning, so his excitement wasn’t surprising. But he liked seeing how his friends reacted to the space. “Yeah, it’s pretty crazy.” Rio laughed, pointing over one of the tables, “I keep a hoard of snacks under the table over there. I got soda and junk food if you want to grab anything.” Rio would swoop by and grab something once he figured out exactly where they would start looking. Though he was far from ever completing his goal of completely digitizing the place, Rio had gotten the place fairly organized and had mostly made sure that things had stayed organized. To the point that Rio asked when people borrowed things they just returned them on the tables so Rio could be in charge of putting them back.

“Maybe we’ll get lucky and there will be an entire journal labelled Bloody Mary. But until then I think we will just have to scour the section on spirits and hope for the best.” Orion wished he had something more concrete, but for now he could only hop up from the table and lead Connor towards the ghost section, taking a small detour to grab a drink before doing so. The ghost section stayed on the first floor, mostly because it was one of the more common ones he had pulled information for. Side effects of his friendship with Blanche no doubt. “Pull anything that looks like it might be useful and we can start going through them, okay? Some of the old Scribes kept journals and I’ll grab them just in case something like this has appended before.” 

"I love places like this," Connor enthused, hands running along the spines of the dusty books on the shelves. He could see why Rio and Winston were having a tough job digitalizing everything. "It's like a supernatural treasure trove. Do they have anything else cool? Old artefacts or anything?" His inner supernatural geek bubbled to the surface for a few moments before he remembered why they were here, and he gave a shrug. "Something cool to look into after we sent Bloody Mary Bloody Packing," he said with a goofy smile. "It can't all be doom and gloom." Connor had a knack for finding the silver lining in dark situations. He liked to think it was part of what made him fun to watch. 

"Ghosts and spirits and ghoulies... but first, snacks." He went to where Rio had pointed, a bag of gummy bears and Lays potato chips. He'd just have to wipe his hands before touching the books. He munched on Rio's offerings as he perused the shelves, doing his best to contain his curiosity and only dig out what they actually needed. "Here's one on Malevolent Spirits. Maybe she's in there." He placed it on the pile, along with whatever Rio had pulled. "Ghosts of Scottish Legend? Sure, why not." Within a few minutes, they had quite the pile to get started on. 

“Me too, obviously. I still have a whole makeshift bedroom set up just in case I stay here too late.” Orion laughed, happy to have another person to share the knowledge with. “This place has a ton of stuff that I still don’t know about, honestly. I’ve always just been too afraid to explore the place by myself. Plus some of the doors are magically sealed. I can’t get them open.” Rio hadn’t put much thought into trying to get them open, honestly. He was curious by nature, but that curiosity wasn’t nearly as strong as Rio’s fear of danger. Way too many things could be behind that door.

Rio didn’t waste any time once they had built their stack of books. Rio wasn’t much fun once he dove into research. He had an ability to completely block out the world while he was skimming the pages. Rio flipped through pages quickly, scanning for keywords that might give any inclination that Bloody Mary had shown up before. Bonus points if there’s a way to get rid of her. Or them. Did evil spirits identify with a certain gender? Rio wasn’t willing to interrupt his reading to entertain the question. He finally perked up from his spot once he had find something interesting, mindlessly waving his hand and smacking against the table top to grab Connor’s attention. “Hey. Look at this. This chapter talks about a female spirit that anyone can see. Not just mediums or undead. The description sounds eerily like how I would describe Bloody Mary.” He handed the book of to Connor to take a look at and see for himself.

"A bedroom?" Connor teased, giving him a playfully flirtatious snicker. "My book collection brings all the boys to the yard?" Luckily, Connor wasn't actually trying to get laid, so he didn't really care if his jokes were shit. "Damn. I'd make it a challenge to open those doors." A task for another time, definitely, but one Connor certainly wouldn't forget. "How'd you come to know about this place and be the designated book-lord, anyway?" he asked, still snacking as they worked through pages, and pages, and more pages. 

Interest piqued, hopes perhaps just a little bit higher than they'd been before coming in, Connor leaned in to get a closer look at the passage Rio was talking about. "Did they give her a name? I've looked up 'Bloody Mary' in a bunch of these indexes and most of them so far take me to passages that say she's just fictional." 

“Ha ha. Hilarious.” Orion rolled his eyes at Connor but laughed. He handled the shameless flirting surprisingly well, considering how he used to be whenever someone pretty so much as spoke to him, let alone flirt. But Rio supposed a lot of that anxiety was taken away once he had started dating Winston. “It’s more like a community room anyways. It let my Scribes have a place to crash if they were deep into research. The place has a bunch of bunk beds.” Something from Connor’s tone of voice told him that the room research would be coming up at another, less chaotic time. “My uncle knew about the Scribes. He was training to be one right before the Scribes bit the dust. He brought me here when I was a kid. I think I might have been the only one in town that even knew the place was here until I started to show it to people.”

“Um, give me a minute” Orion pulled the book back towards him to scan through further, flipping pages until he finally found the word, “A theory. Right here, he says that it has a lot of similarities to modern day myths about Bloody Mary. I don’t think this guy ever confirmed anything though.” Rio flipped a few more pages, “Looks like he did some sort of study. Tried to gather a bunch of people to see who could see bloody mary.” Rio passed the book off to Connor again.

Connor edged closer to Rio to get a good look at the book. “Lemme see that…” He replaced whatever book he’d been nose-deep in with the one Rio had been reading. “You know, I think this might be her.” He read through the rest of the page, his eyes zeroing in on something down near the bottom. “Oh, mate…” He pointed to the passage, reading it out loud. “The spirit targeted only those who had taken human life; those who were innocent were spared.” He flipped through to the next page, which was so heavily water damage that it was barely more than a blur. “Great. The part about how they got rid of her is gone.” 

Though it hardly helped many others in this town, Orion breathed a sigh of relief that Bloody Mary only targeted murderers. It was a bit of a relief to know that he didn’t have to worry about the ghost trying to kill him. Whatever confidence he had dropped when he realized that the same couldn’t be side for the majority of his friend group. He knew for sure that Winston, Blanche and Nell had been involved in the resurrection of Nell’s sister. He also knew exactly what they had done in order to bring her back. And Rio wasn’t naive enough to believe that Adam had never taken a life. The anxiety spiked again and Rio forced it down by focusing instead on Connor’s words. “Great. Water damage. Of course.” Rio sighed and slid off of the table to grab his laptop. “I’m going to see if there’s anything else in here by the same Scribe that wrote that. If we can’t find anything then maybe… try to find some sort of spellcaster? If this thing was summoned, maybe someone knows ways to reverse it.”

Connor’s throat was dry, his cheeks warm as the feeling of concern overcame him. “Does that mean those high school kids who’d summoned her killed someone?” he asked, mostly to himself. “Or maybe the rule doesn’t apply if you summon her. Like, you sort of take that risk upon yourself by bringing her into the world.” He pulled out his phone to take a photo of the pages, sending them along to Nell, Adam, Jasmine and Blanche. “That’s a good idea.” Unlike Rio, he knew nothing of any potential murderers among his friends, but his interaction with Adam down at the river stuck out like a sore thumb in his mind. Adam didn’t know if he’d killed that girl or not. He’d been too drunk to remember. It had been an accident, but maybe Mary wouldn’t see it that way. “We really need to find a way to get rid of her.”

“Good question. I’ve heard summoning stuff is dangerous anyways. Maybe they did something wrong and that’s how they ended up dead. Either way it’s sad.” Orion couldn’t imagine willingly being part of something like that back when he was in high school. But he didn’t know the context of their situation. Regardless, now Rio and Connor and whoever else was around were stuck with cleaning up the mess. “Well, I can tell it’s going to be a long night. Maybe I can talk Blanche into picking up a pizza and meeting us here. Turn this into a study party? I have lots of energy drinks. Plus beds if you want to crash part way through the night!” Maybe they’d get lucky and come across something useful.

[rustbeltjessie]

Diary of an Emotional Masochist, Chapter One: Dignity and Shame

I am an emotional masochist. I’m the kind of person, who, when I’m already going through a bout of nostalgic melancholy, will decide to read old journal entries or look through old photographs. The kind of person who, when it’s three a.m. and I can’t sleep because I’m thinking about what loves have come and gone (to borrow a phrase from Edna St. Vincent Millay), will get up and Google search those loves. I am the kind of woman who, when I’m already sad, will listen to an album that devastates me. I have a long list of albums that it’s almost too painful to listen to, albums that remind me of such specific times in my life that listening to them takes me right back to where I was then. A different person would purge their record collection and iTunes library of such albums, but, like I said – I am an emotional masochist. On lonesome evenings, after a couple glasses of whiskey, nothing sounds better to me than spinning one of those records (or queueing up one of those playlists). This is one of those lonesome-whiskey evenings, so won’t you join me in indulging? We’re listening to Crooked Fingers’ Dignity and Shame.

From the first sparse, haunting notes of “Islero,” I am transported back in time to the summer of 2005. God, that summer. That terrible, wonderful summer. I’d fucked up my life the year before, and I thought that would be the summer I’d fix it, except all I did was fuck it up even more. God, that summer. That March, I moved away from Chicago after living there for five years. I planned on moving to Milwaukee come autumn, to start fresh in a fresh town. In the meantime, I moved back in with my parents. I wasn’t home, much. Nights, after work, I went to one of the two bars in Kenosha where all my sad drunk hoodlum friends hung out. On days off, I walked in the woods – the heat was relentless, and the canopy of trees offered cool green comfort. Or I drove to Chicago to see shows and drink with my friends and try to remember why I’d left; drove to Milwaukee to scope out neighborhoods, sit for hours at the Hi-Fi Cafe, go record and dress shopping. On one of my record shopping expeditions, I bought Dignity and Shame. It was on the Staff Recommendations shelf, and I liked the cover art, so I took it home with me – and it was serendipity, it was exactly the album I needed at the time.

As soon as I got home, I set it spinning on my turntable, and the first track – “Islero” – gave me goosebumps. The second track – “Weary Arms” – made me cry. It had sad cellos and a lonesome cowboy guitar, and Eric Bachmann’s voice was a raspy baritone: Beware of strangers knocking at your door. Old lovers, too. Don’t think for one second they’ve forgotten you. Oh, oh, oh. By the time the final, hidden track played, I’d melted into a puddle of tears and goosebumps on my bedroom floor. The album destroyed me, and it spooked me because so many of the stories sounded like things right out of my life, both from that year and six or so years before it. It was like Eric Bachmann had read my diary and set it to music. I wanted to write him a letter and say: “Get out of my head, god damn it! Get out of my aching heart.” It’s impossible for me to write about Dignity and Shame, or about the summer of 2005, without descending into hyperbole, sentimental poetry, and melodrama. My God, that summer was hyperbole, sentimental poetry, and melodrama. I was still young enough that it was acceptable to feel things that intensely, acceptable to talk about a sunrise over Lake Michigan by saying things like: “When the light shot through the horizon in streaks of peach and gold, it was the most god damn beautiful thing I’d ever seen.” Dear diary, listen to me.

My “Weary Arms” wrapped tight around so many lovers, that summer – four of them, plus a handful of brief flings. Later that year, I lamented that I hadn’t had as many wild love affairs as I’d had in years past, which, yes, says something unflattering about me. And Eric Bachmann sang: You have many enemies, for reasons no one’s certain of.

One night, while I sat at one of the bars and waited for my friends to arrive, a girl approached me. I didn’t know her, but she knew me. She sat down across from me and lambasted me for sleeping with a guy she’d been dating at the time…two years before. She called me a slut, and some worse things. I wanted to buy her a drink, to appease her. I couldn’t understand why she hated me so much. When I slept with that guy, I had no idea he had a girlfriend. So many enemies, so many lovers, but could a jaded girl like me heed an uptempo “Call To Love?” In that song, Eric took the role of a particular one of my lovers, and said: Won’t you hear my heart? I’m transmitting a call to love. On a night when the moon was orange-red and luminous, that lover said: “The moon is the color of your hair.” Another night: “You were born in the wrong era, Jess.” And, though I was a sucker for sentimental poetry, my guard was up. Lara Meyerratken answered for me: Don’t need my heart kicked ‘round the block no more. You may be smooth-talking, daddy, but I’ve heard it all before. I traded gossip with the “Twilight Creeps.” In this sweet-sad song with the bright piano and the shimmering backup vocals, I was both the singer and the sung about. I could have sung it to one of my lovers, should have said to her: Flower, don’t dig so deep so you don’t go anywhere. But the words were also about me: You say someday you’re gonna float away. Take yourself some kind of holiday. I often told my sad drunk hoodlum friends, the twilight creeps, that I needed to get the hell out of town. “If I could just get gone for more than a few days, go somewhere more than a few hours away…there ain’t no use in trying to make me stay.”

My lovers all wanted to make me stay. The flower-girl, I’ll call her Valerie. The one who spoke poetic words to me, I’ll call him Jack. And there was Lon, and Carmine. In different ways, for different reasons, they each wanted me to choose them over all the rest. Even a few of the week-long flings and one-night stands, older punk guys or younger hippie girls, said things to me like: “How did I get so lucky as to meet a girl like you?” Or: “So, are you my girlfriend now?” And when I said no, they called me a heartbreaker. A “Destroyer.” It’s a woebegone cowboy of a tune. Doleful drums, piano that tinkles like ice cubes in a bar glass, and a lap steel guitar – which, as far as I’m concerned, is the aural equivalent of an anti-hero walking off into the sunset. The song is all about how the singer is going to make someone his, and then he’s going to leave them behind. When they called me heartbreaker, I wanted to sing it: Lay down, just let it come, and resign your heart, today, to get blown away. “Valerie,” well, that’s why I’m referring to that lover as Valerie. Much like me, she was a punk rock girl turned heroine of a Tom Waits song (heroine of a Crooked Fingers song). She had thriftstore dresses and jailhouse tattoos and self-inflicted scars. “Valerie,” the song, has a sanguine strut, is a besotted love song, and I thought of Valerie, the girl: Red roses, silk, you in your sleek summer dress. You were light, revelation, oh, I love you the best. But she and I kept our love unspoken. We both had other romantic complications, and only touched each other on long hot nights after too many bottles of wine and too many pills. “Sleep All Summer” was my song for Jack, the young ex-goth whose mouth was pink and pouty like he’d been sucking on a strawberry popsicle. Our love was either all the good songs and kissing ’til our lips were raw, or it was screaming matches and hangover headaches. What bliss is this, and then he’d get attention-starved and whiny, and I’d burn hot and cold and say nasty things, and we’d say: “This is it, we’re through.” But – There ain’t no way we’re gonna find another, the way we sleep all summer. Why won’t you fall back in love with me? And we’d run into each other at the bar, and faster than our friends could say I told you so we’d be tangled up in the backseat of his car or rolling around by the lake, and the whole thing would start all over again. He’d play the martyr, and I’d say: I would change for you, but babe, that doesn’t mean I’m gonna be a better man.

And “Coldways” kill cool lovers. Lon was a folk singer from the north woods. He’d been one of my best friends for years already, and when we started dating I was so tired of complicated, fiery relationships that I mistook comfort for True Love. My heart still hurts when I think of how I hurt him. He wanted me to marry him and I just wanted to be drunk and in love, to listen to “Coldways”’s thrumming, swelling sound. To sing along: Come out, come on, tonight the city’s alive. “Wrecking Ball” has a jaunty, punchdrunk piano, and the piano had been drinking, but so had I. God, I drank so much that summer. On the rare night I spent at home, I holed up in my room, wrote long, sad, tales of people in the legend of my life, and drank blackberry brandy mixed with Sprite. Something like that would taste over-sweet to me now, make me shudder, but maybe the same part of me that craved sentimental poetry also thirsted for sugary drinks. And most nights, I wasn’t at home. Most nights, I changed clothes in my car after work. I swapped my reeking-of-pizza button down shirt and black slacks for one of my vintage dresses. A mint green confection, or a pink and white sundress. Something from the ‘50s, blue with red and white polka dots, or a slinky black number that a ‘30s jazz singer would have worn. And I sat at one of two bars, drank whiskey and Coke, or brandy old-fashioneds, or gin and tonics all night long. I waited for my friends to arrive, and I drank and smoked and entertained myself with one of the items I always had in my bag – a book of poetry by Dorothy Parker or Edna St. Vincent Millay, a deck of Alice In Wonderland tarot cards. And sometimes, someone would find me intriguing. I swear, I wasn’t a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, but… I was a redhead in a retro dress (usually with a strand of fake pearls, too) sitting in a dive bar, smoking pastel-colored cigarettes, reading sonnets and tarot cards. Christ. Often, someone found me intriguing, chatted me up, and I wound up with yet another lover. I was a destroyer, destroying myself with booze and love. I was a wrecking ball. Eric Bachmann, accompanied by that barroom piano, sang: And you laughed and you danced, and it let you feel fine for a while. Hanging out with the kids who you knew soon would fall out of style.

I’ve left two songs out, dear diary. I did it on purpose, because they are the two that hurt the most. They are also the two that heal the most. The kind of songs that make me weep, then tell me to dry my tears. “You Must Build A Fire,” oh, it is one of the saddest songs. It begins with only two guitars (a finger-picked lead and that god damn lap steel again), and Eric’s voice is so plaintive, sounds like it’s about to crack, and he sings: Oh, gracious love, you were so kind to me. You only broke my heart, let my arms and legs stay strong. So I could swim upon the open sea, searching for another love. Floating along aimlessly. I haven’t told you about Carmine, yet. Carmine was a musician who looked like a magician from an old-time carnival. The year before, he’d ruined me in a worse way than any other lover ever had. (As a friend put it, he was one of the ones who fucked me up so bad I was pretty much ruined for anyone else.) He ruined me, but I let him back into my life. That summer, we got together. It was supposed to be closure, but of course it just opened everything up again. He said: “I want to be with you. I want to try again.” I said: “Okay, yes, let’s start over. I want to be with you.” He said: “Only if you break things off with all your other lovers. I want to be your only.” The nerve, giving me an ultimatum like that when he was even more of a notorious libertine than I was. And the song sang: I had someone, a love I thought was true. But sometimes you just get tired, and you must try not to die. And give your love, though no one may receive. You must build a giant fire, for the whole wide world to see. It sounded like that whole heartbroken, hot summer. Oh, where are you, love?

The title track, “Dignity and Shame,” is a piano ballad that told me: To be sure, there ain’t no cure. There could be no one to save you. It is the track I return to over and over, more than any other track on the album. Though my life has calmed down a lot in the decade since that summer, sometimes – that feeling comes, you’ve been here once before. That wicked feeling you don’t want to feel no more. And then, Eric Bachmann (get out my head, god damn it!) sings: You’re not the same as the day that you came. You can choose dignity, or shame.

I choose dignity. I carry my broken heart like a torch in the night. Little keeper of light, burning deep, burning bright in the dark.

[originally appeared in Witchsong in October 2015]

[fluidityandgiggles]

Dalton Big Bang day 11 - The Natural Next Step (coffee shop AU)

Writing Masterpost, AO3 Link

Notes: Sperril will not let me go, and so I shall write for them.

(Who cares? They're adorable)

Meeting one

"Logan, back me up here?" Charlie called into the break room, to his fellow barista, who was currently on break. "Your boyfriend is here!"

"Good!" Logan called back, pushing his glasses up without even looking at Charlie. "I'm having lunch."

"Okay!" Julian laughed as he saw Charlie come back and immediately turn to Dwight, letting out a loud "yeehaw!".

"Yeehaw?" Dwight replied, getting away from the cash register to join Charlie. "Yeehaw, yeehaw!"

"Yeehaw, yeehaw yeehaw—"

"You made your fucking point!" Logan almost screamed by then, getting out of the break room as the two Texans started laughing. "Yee fucking haw. Yeah, yeah. Fuck you too."

As Logan went to greet (read: kiss) Julian and get his order, and the others could not help but make fun of the two, Merril silently thanked them for keeping her out of it. They were her friends and she loved them all very dearly, but they could be a wild bunch when they wanted to be… and it could honestly sometimes be a lot. So these times when they all got this chaotic, Merril counted her blessings and smiled to herself.

She was in the middle of piping the meringue on top of a lemon pie when she heard another commotion outside, looking as Dwight ran into the kitchen to grab a cup of water.

"Are you okay, darling?"

"He's here."

----

Spencer Willis didn't think, not in a million years, that he would ever become a set designer for an off-Broadway show. He didn't even think he'd enjoy set designing at all, until getting discharged on medical grounds from West Point.

It took him a year to recover, spent while living with Justin in New York and not doing much more than physical therapy and just being dorks together, and then he applied to Syracuse. It was an easy choice to make - it's still in New York, so he could still see Sydney from time to time; he could afford it, between his parents and some scholarships and grants he could apply to; and best of all, it had a great art department, at least according to his research (and Justin's sister's friend Lucy who also applied).

Lucy Westwood was, for a lack of a better word, quite chaotic. The eighteen-year old costume design major quickly took to the twenty-year old art major, which didn't go unnoticed, and before Spencer knew it he was asked by his professors if he thinks theatre design would be a better major for him. Well, less asked and more told to try a couple courses and see how he likes it, and… in stage design he ended up staying. It was still art, and amazing art at that, but it was also a lot of physical, tactical work, and he fell in love with all of that.

It's been four years since graduating Syracuse. Four wild, wild years, where he got to meet and befriend Reed Van Kamp, get roped into the theatre world harder than ever before, and as of a few months ago and thanks to Reed's insistent pleas, also start working off-Broadway on a revival of Assassins.

He still couldn't quite wrap his head around how this happened, but somehow it just did.

"I saw Shane again last night," Reed told him and Lucy as they joined them for lunch, in the middle of a long day none of them could guess just how long it'll end up being. "He's so good! Lucy, he's so good!"

"Now you're going to tell us we need to come see Once On This Island," Lucy laughed, bouncing as they waited at the queue at the cafe they ended up going to. "You've told us that several times already."

"Mercedes Jones is a goddess, okay? And a literal one in this production! And Shane is really good as Daniel, and Jane, the girl who plays Ti Moune, is just… I can't praise them enough! I think I'm in love with a whole cast. Can you be in love with a whole cast?"

"I think you definitely can," Spencer answered them, watching as the cashier ran away into the kitchen. He started doing that after the third time Spencer and Justin came here, to meet with Justin's boyfriend Charlie, and they had a conversation about Cats that got the whole cafe involved in it. He always felt bad for the poor guy, but to each their own, he supposed. "Hey, Chaz."

"Oh, hi," Charlie chuckled as he came to the register for now. "I swear, Dwight needs to get over that Cats debate…"

"No he doesn't, he's fine."

As Reed and Lucy left the queue to sit down and Spencer stayed to order - "two caprese sandwiches, an omelet sandwich, two chocolate cake slices and three iced coffees, everything to-go so Reed won't hurt themself" - Dwight showed up again, being pushed out of the kitchen by possibly the prettiest girl Spencer's ever seen.

"...Spence? Dude, you're gonna pay?" Charlie even waved a hand in front of his eyes, and it's only after the girl runs back to the kitchen that Spencer shook back up, realizing he's been staring.

"Uhh… yeah, sorry. Yeah."

----

Meeting three

The depression hit Merril pretty hard about two weeks ago, and this was the first time in ten days that she left the house. She showered, changed clothes, cleaned her apartment somewhat, all in attempt to make herself feel better, but nothing really worked.

But… that nice guy from the c-- Spencer! Spencer asked her out on a date last time they met, and she'd never back out on this… not to mention she might seem like a flake if she does, and it's so unfair to him, he's so nice and sweet and, and…

"Merril, go home," Charlie told her the second she stepped into the cafe. "Honey, you don't have to work today, remember?"

"I'm here for a date," she reminded him, sighing tiredly and going to hug him. She could smell his detergent as she did so, calming down almost instantly. Charlie… smelled like home to her.

Then again, isn't that what he was for her…?

"You look beautiful," he reassured her, patting her head gently. "You bought this dress with Casey, right?"

"Mmhm."

"It looks very good on you. I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you…" She smiled into his chest. It's the first smile she managed in over a week.

"Get away from the counter now," he told her after a few moments of hugging. "Go sit down. You have a date."

"Who has a date?" Came the question from Logan, who came back from the break room, wiping his hands with a paper towel.

"Merril does."

"Oh, hello!" He smirked at her, in that uniquely Logan way of his, and she just had to smile back. "Who's the lucky fella, mom?"

"Don't you have band rehearsal today?" She teased back.

"Drew canceled in favor of meeting Alex's parents."

"Oh, poor guy… sucks to work an extra shift, doesn't it?"

Just as Logan stuck his tongue out at her, Spencer stepped inside the cafe, barely looking for her before just heading over and sitting down next to her.

"Hi."

She smiled at him, swatting at Logan to go away. "Hi."

----

Seeing Merril in that blue floral dress, with her hair curled around her face and her eyes sparkling so beautifully, Spencer didn't want this date to end.

But alas, he was needed back at work soon.

"So…" Merril twirled a lock of hair around her finger, sipping her iced tea. "You really don't mind dating me…?"

"No!" He called almost immediately, startling her. "Merril, you're… so out of my league. You're so beautiful and smart and nice, and-- and you're the baker here, so obviously you're talented, and--"

"No, no no no, Spencer…" She took her hand, her face falling. "Spencer, I'm transgender."

"Okay, so what?"

It took a second, but then she just looked at him so weirdly, like she can't believe his words.

"What… what do you mean, so what?"

"You… absolutely ruined my expectations in women. I don't care what your body is like, you're perfect in my opinion, I enjoy being around you, I would love to keep dating you, and I very much hope you would the same. So, so what? You're a girl that I like. I like you very much even."

Merril just laughed.

"What… what's happening--"

"I like you very much too," she told him, through sad laughter. "And I would love to keep dating you too."

"Oh, that's-- that's good! Can I kiss you?"

She laughed again, and nodded, and Spencer could swear he heard Charlie and the other barista cheer as he leaned in to kiss her.

He did too, in his own way.

----

Meeting twelve

It was Julian's birthday, and Merril could see Logan avoiding work and just hanging with him and their best friend Derek near a window. She was almost finished with his cake, just piping a small happy birthday on top of it, when Dwight ran into the kitchen.

"You need to stop doing that, darling. Spencer isn't going to kill you."

"He's a cursed man," Dwight told her, making her chuckle. "You're dating a cursed man, Merril."

"Oh dear… did you not know I like Macavity?"

It took him exactly three seconds to put his cup of water down and march right out of the kitchen, hollering "I HATE THIS FUCKING FAMILY".

"But I do!" She called after him, going back to finish the cake right afterward. Poor guy… She never meant to upset him, but…

Huh. Maybe it was just a touchy musical.

"I want to try something new," she heard faintly from the front, smiling a little to herself. On their third date, Spencer told her that he decided to try new types of coffee every day - he's an artiste, after all, so what's a little experimenting going to do - and that she should be prepared for some bizarre drinks. Of course, she reminded him she's not the barista, but…

"And what would it be today, Spence?"

"A cortado with lemon."

Of course.

She stifled a laugh when she heard that, almost dropping the cake before she even picked it up. She steadied herself, picked the cake back up and left the kitchen, watching Charlie hold back from beating himself up over Spencer's order.

----

"A cortado with lemon?" Spencer nodded as Charlie just stared at him. "Do you know what you're ordering?"

"Nope."

"...I'm fucking glad you're not ordering an iced pumpkin spice latte at least," Charlie sighed as he slid Spencer's card for him. "It's the middle of August."

"Glad to not disappoint for once."

As Spencer waited for his coffee, he watched Merril hug Logan after serving his cake, then come over to hug Spencer himself.

"Hey there, Gilear Faeth."

"Stop calling me that," he laughed. "But hi."

"You know a cortado is just an espresso with a bit of milk foam, right?"

"...what the fuck did I just order?"

Merril just giggled. "I can't tell you, I've never tried it."

"I'm going to die…"

"Spencer?" Charlie called after a bit, and he let go of Merril to go get his coffee. "Here's your poison, man."

"Gee, thanks."

"You're here late," Charlie pointed out as Merril ran to the bathroom, kissing Spencer's kiss as she goes. "What's the occasion?"

"I got two tickets to see Once On This Island. Reed finally convinced me…"

"That's their boyfriend's show, right?"

"Yeah. They finally broke me, and Merril's interested, so I got two tickets." He took a sip from his drink. "Oh god, this is disgusting."

"I'll replace it for you with hot chocolate for free if you stop ordering stupid drinks," Charlie laughed.

"I would like that very much, please and thank you."

Merril came back from the bathroom after a few minutes, dressed in a clean red dress instead of her black shirt and jeans, her makeup retouched, to see Spencer drinking a cup of hot chocolate instead of his absolutely random abomination.

"I'm ready. Are you?"

----

Meeting seventy-seven

Merril and Charlie were closing the cafe that day - well, more like Merril was closing and Charlie spent most of his time talking with his boyfriend (who just so happened to stay there after closing so he could "pick Charlie up") - when Merril found an envelope under the counter.

An envelope addressed to her.

"Charlie, darling, it's not payroll day, only tomorrow…" her eyes got dark as the boy turned to look at her. "What… what's going on…?"

"Mom, it's not what you're thinking," he was quick to say, but she was quicker to cry.

"I… I don't understand, what…"

"That… was supposed to be for tomorrow. Spencer asked me to help him surprise you…" She just looked at him confused. "It's nothing bad. Let's finish here, go home, you'll get to cuddle with your boyfriend and watch whatever cheesy show you two watch nowadays. Tomorrow it'll all make sense."

"Spencer adores you," Justin tried to add, looking quite worried. "This is a good one, we promise."

"I…" she took a second to stop shaking before putting the envelope back in place, feeling something hard inside of it. "Okay… you're his best friends, I'm going to trust you."

"Go home, Merril," Charlie sighed, watching her fumble. "I'll finish here. Please."

"...fine."

----

Spencer showed up for lunch the next day, ordering his omelet sandwich and iced coffee, and a slice of lemon meringue pie. It was a quick order, one made fully knowing that Merril would join him for lunch today.

"...and a chocolate cupcake, please."

"Sure thing."

Merril joined him after thirty minutes, looking grateful to be off the clock for the day as Dwight brought over a cup of green tea and an envelope, looking rather suspicious to be near the table.

"God save your soul, Spencer," he told the man before putting Merril's things down and leaving.

"...is he still about that?"

"I don't know, honey. We're working with him on it."

They ate lunch, talked about their day, but Spencer couldn't help looking at the envelope like it was about to kill him.

"...and then Dwight just-- Spencer…?" Merril kissed his cheek, making him look at her. "Honey, what's happening?"

"Can you open the envelope please…?" He looked off to Charlie, who gave him two thumbs up. "The anticipation is killing me."

"Oh! Oh… sure." She frowned as she opened it, too focused on making it neat to ignore Spencer getting down on one knee as a ring fell out of the envelope.

A delicate gold ring with a lovely blue stone in the middle of it, and three tiny diamonds on either side of it.

"Spencer…?"

"You're perfect for me," Spencer managed to say as he grabbed the ring, holding it up to her. "Merril Portman, you are perfect. I love you more than words can describe, and if I started listing the reasons why we'd be here until Sunday in fifty years."

"Spencer, I love you too, I…"

"You complete me, Merril. God, I can't tell you how much I've gone through that just seemed to… go away when I'm with you. So… this is just the natural next thing to do."

She started crying. Merril won't lie, she started crying. Prompting Spencer to give her a hand, squeeze it a bit, watch her smile through her tears.

"Merril Portman… will you do me the honor of--"

"Yes!" She laughed, still sobbing. "Yes, absolutely, I will marry you."

They kissed and hugged and kissed some more, to the cheers of everyone around them, and it didn't really matter how much Merril cried or how odd Spencer felt the rest of the day afterwards. This was just the natural next step for them.

[percussiongirl2017]

See Who, C U

Title: See Who, C U Part 2

Pairing: Former Dean x Reader, Sam, Castiel, Jack

Summary: A simple vengeful spirit case takes an unexpected turn when someone from the WInchesters’ past shows up.

Word Count: 1794

Warnings: Swearing, Dean’s kinda a smartass, Case work, Slight Angst

A/N: (Put in the queue 6/1/19) This work has been queued. This is the last fic I’ll put in the queue. Please enjoy and any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated. (Title is based on a cheer at my college.) Tags are below the cut.

Buy Dean’s Scent Here!

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    You stormed across campus to the Learning Commons and headed for one of the vacant study rooms. Your next class wasn’t for another 2 hours, but you needed an excuse to get away from them. You closed the blinds and locked the door before sitting down at the table. You needed to finish this case quickly before the boys got too involved. Working through your notes, you narrowed down what the spirit could be attached to before comparing it to the classrooms on campus. Checking your watch, you saw that you had 30 minutes to get to your last class. You packed up your bag and headed for the door when you saw the handle start to turn. Immediately, you stopped and pulled the gun that was hidden on your boot and ducked behind one of the tables. The door slowly opened.

“Dean, you just can’t pick the lock to every room and hope you find her.” Sam chastised.

“Watch me.” Dean said.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You snapped as you stood up. “I could have shot you.”

“Told you she would have a gun.” Sam smirked.

“What do you want?” You sneered as you put your gun away.

“I wanna talk.” Dean answered. “We have some explaining to do.”

You picked up your bag. “I’d love to stay and chat, not really, but I now have 20 minutes to get to the art complex.”

     You pushed past them and headed down the hallway when someone grabbed your arm. Instinct took over as you tucked yourself in and threw the person over your shoulder.

“What the hell?!” You yelled.

“You still got it.” Dean coughed from the floor.

     You scoffed and stepped over him as you continued out of the building. You crossed the street and walked behind the boy’s dorms towards the soccer field. You walked to most of your classes, so you had found shortcuts to get around faster. After going around the soccer field, you crossed over to the church parking lot and then over to the art complex. You headed for the building in the back as everyone else showed up. The Band room was chilly as you stepped in and placed your stuff in the corner near the guard equipment.

“Don’t worry about instruments.” Your director, Wayne, announced. “We’re just going to talk today.”

     You grabbed your chair and flipped it around before sitting down and crossing your arms over the back. Wayne started discussing the plan for next year as you picked at a loose thread on your chair. The door opened behind you causing everyone to look except you.

“Can I help you, gentlemen?” Wayne asked.

“Yes.” You heard Dean answer. “We need Y/N to come with us.”

“We have a few questions for her.” Sam added.

     Wayne nodded to you as you rolled your eyes and grabbed your things. You could feel everyone staring as you walked out. People already thought you were weird and this was going to add fuel to their fire. Once you were out of eyesight of the Band Room you spun around and glared at the boys.

“What the fuck was that?” You snapped. “You can’t just show up and pull me out of class. I’m not a kid.”

“I see your attitude hasn’t changed.” Dean attempted to joke.

“Fuck you.” You sneered. “I’ve got this case just fine so do me a favor and get the Hell out of here.”

“Y/N, just talk to us for a minute.” Sam pleaded. “We haven’t heard from you in almost 7 years.”

“Who’s fault is that?” You asked.

“Just give us five minutes.” He begged.

You thought it over. “Let me finish this case and maybe I’ll talk to you.”

“Fine.” Dean agreed. “You have to let us be your backup though. We won’t intervene unless you need us to.”

“Whatever.” You rolled your eyes. “Meet me in the main building at 9 tonight after classes let out and don’t get in my way.”

     You turned on your heel before they could answer and headed back to the main campus. You found your truck with ease and started the drive back to your small house. You didn’t want to live on campus just in case you had to disappear quickly. You pulled your duffel bag out and started throwing clothes into in. After the case was done you’d have to skip town. Sam and Dean knew you were here and there was nothing stopping them from coming to get you. You had lived here almost 4 years and now you were going to have to start over again. You didn’t have many possessions, but it still pained you to have to pack them up. Thankfully, most of the professors were doing reviews for the upcoming finals and weren’t taking attendance. You could come back and take finals then have your diploma mailed to your P.O box. You set aside everything you needed for the case and put the rest of it by the front door. It wasn’t much. A duffel bag full of clothes, your weapons bag, and a box of small trinkets was all you had to represent the last 4 years of your life.

     Nine o’clock came faster than you thought as you headed for the main building. You caught a glimpse of the Impala behind the building and shook your head. Of course they were already here. You waited as the night classes cleared out and made your way up the steps.

“Took you long enough.” Dean said as you walked in.

“I said wait until classes cleared out, dumbass.” You snipped. “You guys stick out more than I do.”

“Coming from the chick with multicolored hair.” Dean fired back.

“Knock it off.” Sam elbowed Dean.

“Fuck off, Winchester.” You said as you headed for the stairs. “Stay out of my way.”

     You heard them follow behind you as you swept the second floor and went to the third floor.

“How do you know the spirit is here?” Sam asked. “There’s a lot of buildings on this campus.”

“This is the oldest building on campus.” You whispered as you watched the EMF reader. “It was burned down during the Civil War and was rebuilt in the same spot. The mascot’s a phoenix for a reason.”

     They fell silent as the air turned cold. You pocketed the EMF reader and pulled the shotgun out of your bag. You needed to get to one of the science labs to find what you needed. You headed right as the room grew colder. You opened the lab door and were immediately thrown backwards against the wall.

“Y/N!” Sam yelled.

“I’m fine.” You said as you stood.

     The spirit came at you again but you were prepared this time. You fired a salt round and watched it vaporize before running back into the lab.

“What are we looking for?” Dean asked as he and Sam came in.

“Chalk.” You said.

“Wait, what?” He turned. “This thing’s connected to chalk?”

“Like I said earlier,” You started. “this place was burned down during the Civil War. Professors used chalkboards and this is the only room that still has a small chalkboard.”

     Beakers and other items started flying off tables and breaking as you torn cabinets apart looking for the pack of chalk. You heard Sam and Dean cursing as they fought off the spirit behind you. You moved the chalkboard over and saw the pack peeking out under a stack of papers. You grabbed it and threw it in the sink as you doused it in lighter fluid. You were lighting the match when one of the beakers hit the back of your head. It shattered and you felt something warm trickle down your neck. You swore as the match finally lit.

“Class dismissed.” You said as the sink went up in flames.

     You watched as the spirit burned and eventually disappeared. You put out the fire in the sink and made sure it was cleaned up. The back of your head stung as you attempted to clean up the broken glass.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked.

“They have a class in here tomorrow.” You said. “I’d rather avoid having the police show up again.”

“Cas and Jack can clean up.” Sam said. “You’re bleeding.”

“I’m fine, Sam.” You stated. “I’ll deal with it when I get back to my place.”

     You walked out of the room and let them clean up the mess. You made sure the halls were empty before going downstairs. You were almost to the exit when a hand stopped you.

“I thought we were going to talk.” Dean said.

“I said maybe, Dean.” You reminded him. “I appreciate the help, but I don’t wanna talk.”

“Why, Y/N?” He asked. “Just answer that. Why won’t you talk to us?”

“Because I’ll do something stupid like forgive you.” You tried to laugh.

“Y/N, I…” He started.

“Don’t.” You cut him off. “I’m sure you’ve been fine since I left. You have Sam, Cas, and Jack. You’ll be fine without me.”

     You pushed the door opened and ran before Dean could say anything else. You tossed your bag in the passenger seat and headed back to your house. You dragged your bag inside and left it by the front door as you went to the bathroom. You stripped your shirt off and used it to clean up most of the blood on your neck. You positioned another mirror so you could see the back of your head. There were still a few pieces of glass caught in your hair as you cleaned out the cut. It wouldn’t need stitches, but it was going to be sore for a while. You took a quick shower and retreated to your room to get dressed. Once you were clean and comfortable you emailed your professors letting them know that you would not be returning to class. You were going to come back for finals, but you had a feeling Sam and Dean were going to try and stick around. Hopefully, your professors would understand. You popped a couple painkillers and crawled under your blanket.

     Your alarm went off and you rolled over to shut it off. You sighed and climbed out of bed so you could start your day. After a quick breakfast you finished packing up the last of your things and putting them in your truck. You did a final walk through and left first and last month’s rent on the counter for your landlord to collect later. You eased out of your driveway and made your way to the interstate with a heavy heart. The last four years of your life slowly disappearing in the rear view mirror.

******

Tags:

@impala-dreamer @feelmyroarrrr @mariekoukie6661 @latishiante1001 @ellen-reincarnated1967 @prompt-and-circumstances@ellie-andthemachine @spnbaby-67 @mersuperwholocked-lowlife @meeshw777 @rideandwritethings @sleepylunarwolf @moose-and-sqruille-lover @youre-acting-like-a-psycho @waywardasfudge @amotleyworld @fallenangelsneverfade @claitynroberts @wingedcatninja @dean-winchesters-bacon @death-unbecomes-you @arses21434 @lonely-skys @mannls @internationalmusicteacher @theloudkilljoy @closetspngirl @sandlee44 @polina-93 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce

[bcdiemcnt]

harry styles !  |    look at the credits to find bodie montgomery ( he/him ) ! the twenty five year old camera operator is known for their work on the hit show: ftlog. their fellow crew members see them as being dependable and humorous, however they are actually very blunt and cynical. seeing them always reminds me of countless empty cup of noodles, a queue of buzzfeed unsolved autoplaying on youtube, sleeping til 4pm & staying up til 6am. 

hello everyone !! it’s caro here back with another annoying boy. i also play my big dummy percy, but i really wanted to bring someone not famous into the mix. this is my smol bean bodie!! just so you know under the cut is a tw for cancer, & mentions of death

my little camera man bodie – also goes by bo or bode, around set a lot of crew members call him by a shorter form of his last name, monty

growing up was quite uneventful in the best of ways. bodie had a pretty pleasant childhood. loving parents and a relatively healthy, happy family. his father is a big hollywood plastic surgeon and mother an architect. they are both extremely hard working and made it a priority to teach him the importance of discipline and responsibility at a young age. they set their expectations for the boy high.

often in his teen years he took care of his two younger sisters, as his parents both work full time. they had a nanny to help, so he didn’t have to, but his sisters always came first to him and being the oldest he is definitely a protective older brother

cancer & death mention tw :  when he was fifteen, his youngest sister, at six, was diagnosed with leukemia. for 2 years his life revolved around her. bodie was never extremely social to begin with, but in high school he was always invited to the parties & the tailgates. it wasn’t a very hard decision, but the boy chose to stay home with his sisters pretty much every weekend.

when she passed away, his family never seemed to get back on their feet. her room was left like a museum, tears and shouting resulting from his mother whenever anyone touched anything in there. once he turned eighteen, bodie moved out eagerly – nothing drastically far, still in the same city (he couldn’t leave his other sister behind!! los angeles born and raised!!! gimme childhood friends plots!!!!) bodie just moved to some shitty downtown LA apartment. being in his childhood home made him feel like he was drowning. tw donezo!

though his family is quite wealthy, his parents believe in bodie earning what he has, when he first moved out they only gave him some of an allowance every semester to help with his tuition. but he got a hold of his trust fund when he turned 21. he’s v frugal though and doesn’t flash his money at all, most people don’t even really know he has any money unless they knew him when he was younger.

SO bodie graduated with a bachelor of fine arts, concentrating in media arts. he hit the ground running as a production assistant in the cinematography department and that was really how he worked his way up to his position now. he aspires to continue to pursue a career as a cinematographer. the boy has a side hustle and shoots for aspiring instagram models lol, he also shoots special events upon request like weddings/bdays/parties

during his time at uni he met a beautiful gal that he fell In Love with. things moved so quickly between the two of them, they got engaged a year in. it was a romantic WHIRLWIND and a really exciting time of his life. but as they began planning their wedding, small arguments turned into full blown fights. they started spending less and less time together and going on less and less dates. they stopped talking about the wedding altogether, but still went through the motions of being together. he didn’t really know he had fallen out of love at first

this is probably his BIGGEST regret of his life – mainly because it fucked with his self perception and he started to let this define him. ALSO he had always prided himself in his ~goodness~ and didn’t really think he was capable of causing sUCH pain and being sO inconsiderate/selfish.. but he started sleeping with one of his close male friends while still engaged and in a relationship. because of that saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” he just can’t forgive himself and also doesn’t really trust himself. he was YOUNG and DUMB, but still wouldn’t ever use that as an excuse. bodie has definitely learned from his mistake.

OKAY jumping to present FINALLY!!

ftlog was not exactly the show he applied to the position for -- he has been with studio3 for a few years working on shows under other titles: production assistant, 1st/2nd assistant camera, he’s worked in the light department for a few smaller shows as well. bodie never really connected with ftlog, but it's his first gig as a camera operator, so he’s pretty excited to finally be the main guy behind the camera.

he’s basically a big fluff ball that has a past and is just trying his best to Be Happy

bodie is an irresponsible mess most of the time to anything non work related. he has to set a million alarms because more often than not, he sleeps through the first few – literally would wake up late in the afternoon every day if he could (HE LIVES FOR OVERNIGHT SHOOTS), he’s is constantly late to everything unless it’s work related. all his closest pals know if u want bodie to be On Time you have to tell him to get there at least a half hour before he really needs to be. he can only make it on time to set tbh. maybe u could see this coming, but he’s pretty much a night owl. he’ll stay up into the wee hours of the morn dickin around

says “oh baby!”, “nah” and “sick” way too much

overall pretty loud and outgoing once he feels comfy around you

is extremely flighty and unreliable when it comes to all things romantic

has 2 instagrams: 1 for business purposes that is solely his photography, and 1 for his artsy fartsy selfies lol and cryptic captions

CONNECTION IDEAS: a crew roommate(s)!! bodie doesn’t need a roommate for rent reasons, he just is definitely someone that likes the company of roommates. university pals!! maybe a star he shoots frequently on his side hustle, so they’ve developed a friendship. an ex!! bodie hates the spotlight though and actively works to keep himself as much of a fly on the wall as he can so if his ex was a star he’d literally combust the first time they got papped together. there’s a good chance bodie would break it off b4 it really got serious tho. this is all i have rn but i’m down to plot or go of chem!!! like this and i’ll come bug u!!!

[bujorulgalben]

ooc: eve goes to romania

oh yes, nailed that cover shot for you guys. took this at the top of the slope i hiked down a few times in the month i spent over there in that beautiful country.

i figured that i would bullet point the most important things that happened on this trip for you. know that i did try to keep a travel log while i was out there, but dear god i was so busy and so, so tired!

in the meantime, let’s get started:

- made new friends from across romania; notably from suceava, bacău, cluj, and maramureș. they were all eager to tell me their stories (a couple older staff members had strong childhood memories from the communist era), and share some insight with me; especially when it became obvious how curious and genuinely interested i was. i was more than happy to listen and quiz them!

for the record, maramureș palincă is easily the best i’ve had so far. smooth, despite still being fire water. i’ve also been told to visit cluj next time i’m in romania, so as to see everyone again.

my favourite romanian beer is silva blondă. i did try to like timișoreana! i did! it wasn’t happening, lads.

- the insight from my romanian friends and colleagues contributed to some great advice the camp director gave to me on buying a handmade ie; a traditional romanian blouse. i met a sweet old bunica in a local crafts fair near bran castle - maybe they were hoping to cash in on the dracula-hunting tourists? i can hardly blame them.

this bunica helped me pick an ie that matched my director’s recommendation; not loud, subtle, but undeniably elegant (”like you”, she told me. bless.) here’s what i chose:

it’s very light and breezy, which was ideal for the hotter days in the cities! the embroidery reminds me of forget-me-not’s; one of my favourite flowers.  

- speaking of traditional crafts, i got very lucky and stumbled across an arts fair at the open air in sibiu. craftsmen and women around the country had gathered to show and share their goods; dolls and ceramics and rugs and painted eggs. i bought one painted egg from a lovely woman who insisted that she was more thankful than i was.

i also bought one of the dolls; very simple wood and cloth doll.

many, near all of them screamed anica energy, but i managed to control myself and buy just one. i also bought some ceramic magnets to decorate my pc with.

- uh.

nearly got hit by a pickup truck flying over a sand bank in the road. the driver slowed, lowered his window to call me a “stupid whore” in romanian, and then sped off. it wasn’t going to be a trip to ro without a near-death experience on the road.

-second “uh” moment.

i got stopped by police on the roadside early into my trip. i was quick to try and pardon myself by saying i didn’t understand what they were saying, and that i was english. i said all of this to them... in romanian. which they found very funny.

turns out they were only trying to make small talk with me. they thought i was pretty.

- teaching kids who would arrive in from around the country allowed me to get a glimpse of the city rivalries that exist here, and also ask about their/their countries’s perception of their home. the most interesting answers came from kids arriving from bucharest (european capital discourse is so fucking interesting) and ilfov; the county neighbouring bucharest.

i had been meaning to work on ileana-cosmina - my bucharest oc - and i’m much better equipped to, now.

- the kids made me an honourary romanian when i reflected on my favourite food of theirs being  papanași, and spoke fondly of mămăligă.

...they then retracted my title when i said i hated pufuleți (corn puff snacks) and that i bought my cozonac for this trip from a store brand. i have got some recipes to try making that myself and to right my errors.  

- with the younger kids, a “cultural exchange” worked wonders for the last days of teaching. in that, i would allow them to teach me a word in romanian, if i taught them a word in english. my accent, that i adopt when speaking romanian, surprised a lot of students and people outside of camp. even leading them to believe that i was romanian. i had to be, by their logic, as i wasn’t speaking english. i wish more people would try.

i got to chat to a lot more with my friends, the romanian translators, about romanian movies and popular media. many of the translators were also political science students; we chatted at length abt the political situation here. 

i’ve been asked to revise my master’s dissertation for their reading pleasure. lol dammit.

- living in the cindrel mountains meant that i got to take my water every water from a spring. well, a hose redirecting water from a spring. sometimes you get small queues of people with petrol tankers from all over, filling em with water.

- i met a math teacher from iași here at this spring, actually! he had previously done construction work in london, chasing a well-known dream, and hated it. he hated everything about it, so returned to romania and to his teaching job. he wanted me to know that “so long as i have ideas, i don’t need money”. many adult men i spoke to here echoed the same sentiment, and pride themselves on their resourcefulness.

- the stars are something else here. got me feeling a certain way.

- third “uh” moment.

on most nights, the camp hosts an outdoor disco for the kids. most nights, at on point, included the assumption of mary; a religious holiday. the weekend after this holiday apparently counted, also, as the hotel lower down on the hill felt the need to make multiple noise complaints.

the police eventually turned up and forced the night of dancing to end early. i recognised a few exchanged curse words.

- asides the fridge magnets and ie, a car icon, and a hand-painted plate for my future homemade cozonac, i also frequented a literature/history bookstore and found some textbooks i used heavily as points of reference for my research, but in romanian. so i might practice my translation skills, soon!

- okay i’m done. thank you for reading. :)

there’s photo posts to look forward to, as well, i promise.