#fuck stoltenberg

[thelostdreamsthings]

The tenth batch of American aid to the Palestinian children has arrived...

Israel is a terrorist state. The US Govt is supporting terrorism.

US supports genocide, yet the media insists it tirelessly work for ceasefire

"The first time it was reported that our friends were being butchered there was a cry of horror. Then a hundred were butchered. But when a thousand were butchered and there was no end to the butchery, a blanket of silence spread.

When evil-doing comes like falling rain, nobody calls out "stop!"

When crimes begin to pile up they become invisible. When sufferings become unendurable the cries are no longer heard. The cries, too, fall like rain in summer."

Bertolt Brecht, Selected Poems

Zionism = Nazism

Fuck Israel

[misskremlintsarina5294]

Whoever voted, yes, are fucking morons.

[fivefeetfangirl]

Oh no my moist body is attracting all the insects

[berndsx4]

[liam-twatter]

keep in mind the countries that are taking us to WW3, supporting ukrainazi as Liam too and in favour of attacking Russia : Usa (how strange, they're so peaceful... Israel genocide friends... Liam's corporations), France (only able of damages), Canada, Poland, Finland, Norway "stolto" (stupid) Stoltenberg (each country 40 billions for Ukraine every year... fuck Nato) from Labour that Noel hates, and probably Britain. When their tourists ask info, we'll send them to inferno...

[sugdenlovesdingle]

So Mark Rutte, who has screwed up this country (the Netherlands) for the past THIRTEEN YEARS as prime minister (and whose party is still fucking up the country any way they can) looks to be the new NATO chief when Jens Stoltenberg leaves later this year.

Apparently even BIDEN is backing him (along with 2/3 of NATO countries).

Run a country into the ground for over a decade, quit when shit gets too complicated, get a nice job in Brussels because you're SUCH a good guy.

[pandor-pandorkful]

Remember I've mentioned before how Iowa got fucked over in the midterms and now our state government is infested with Republican worms ready to push through every evil bill their addled brains can come up with? Well they're after Gay Marriage now.

Pls sign this petition, and make a big stink. I am. So tired. =_=

[trojerucica-blr]

A Farce make a mockery of President Joe Biden launches NATO SUMMIT MASQUERADE

A Farce make a mockery of President Joe Biden launches NATO SUMMIT MASQUERADE

Behind every successful and decorated man is a woman

Ingrid Schulerud

Former Norwegian Ambassador to Belgium ‧ Jens Stoltenberg's wife A Farce make a mockery of @JoeBiden

@POTUS launches NATO SUMMIT MASQUERADE"FUCK`N Ur Wife" One for all, and all for one :"I F`D YOUR WIFE"🛡️ #NATOSummit | #1NATO75years #democratsdestroyamerica

Similarities and differences between the legal spouse of Clinton and President Joe Biden 🤣🤣🤣😂🃏

Similarities and differences by Monica Lewinski

[fireflowersims]

I might be able to shed some light on that.

Our current hella corrupt motherfucker of a prime minister (also known as Mark Rutte) has been applying for a job as chief secretary of NATO for the last couple of months. It's almost certain that horrible man will get the bloody job too!

His and his government's position on all matters Palestine has been speculated to be to gain more goodwill from the US so that they'll vote for Mark fucking Rutte becoming NATO secretary; replacing Stoltenberg. You see, the new chief secretary has to be approved by ALL member states, it's not a percentual vote. The Dutch government actually growing half a moral backbone and saying "we think what Israel is doing is messed up" could put Rutte's future position at NATO in peril, wouldn't want that for the most corrupt Dutch politician of the century, now would you?

Mind you, it's still speculation and politics are anything but clear cut, it's all behind the scenes stuff. Plus Rutte has installed a systematic refusal to provide journalist with any information and has been known to delete things he shouldn't.

I can go on and on about the sheer depths of corruption and awful policy this man has brought to this country in the 10+ years he has been "leading" it, but it's mostly irrelevant for this case. Point is, it's difficult to get actual reasons for why our shithead politicians do the things they do, this is just what has been speculated in the domestic media here.

Oh and the ICJ is in the Netherlands. It may feel silly if the host country was not in there.

This Dutch representative has been speaking in circles so much that I can't even tell what side the Dutch government is supporting

[milenaolesinska]

[givemearmstopraywith]

r/adical f/eminism is simply the branch of feminism that believes we need to radically re-order society to remove male supremacy from its structure. i am begging my young people to embrace this. i am begging you to reappropriate their words from t/erfs because cishet men are brainwashing you. patriarchy is brainwashing you into thinking bimbotok trad wife dress like a bratz doll tiktok is empowerment when all its really doing is giving the patriarchy what it wants. you are worth more than what patriarchy defines you as. it was literally andrea dworkin who wrote in 1974 (warning of outdated language, but please remember this was 1974):

Work with transsexuals, and studies of formation of gender identity in children provide basic information which challenges the notion that there are two discrete biological sexes. That information threatens to transform the traditional biology of sex difference into the radical biology of sex similarity.

catherine mckinnon said in 2015:

I always thought I don’t care how someone becomes a woman or a man; it does not matter to me. It is just part of their specificity, their uniqueness, like everyone else’s. Anybody who identifies as a woman, wants to be a woman, is going around being a woman, as far as I’m concerned, is a woman.

john stoltenberg, andrea dworkin’s longtime partner also said in 2015:

Whatever individual trans folks’ political views, their existence is threatening the conservatism of sex essentialism across a broad spectrum of sex-and-gender fundamentalists. And in this respect, I believe, trans folks are on today’s front lines.

r/adical f/eminism is trans inclusive! but we are losing access to the very foundation of what allowed women- all women- to break out of the patriarchy because of t/erfs dividing us. the fact that apparently not a single post on this website about beauty womanhood objectification and criticism of current social beauty norms is not written by a t/erf is so fucking disheartening. call me crazy but we NEED r/adical f/eminism in inclusive spaces. we NEED to separate trans exclusion from r/adical f/eminism, because at its core radical feminism was not a trans-exclusive movement.

any form of r/adical f/eminism that does not include trans people is not feminism at all. it denies itself by its own existence. t/erfs are not “feminists.” they are bigots. and the fact that t/erfs have overwhelming destroyed the work of r/adical f/eminism for their own ridiculous and nefarious beliefs so that the upcoming generations of young women- both trans and cis- cannot find a foothold in anti-cishet male, anti-patriarchy teaching breaks my heart. 

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

Russia says a nuclear-free Baltic region would no longer be possible if Finland and Sweden become NATO members, alluding to additional nuclear deployments in Europe.

"If Sweden and Finland join NATO, the length of the alliance's land borders with the Russian Federation will more than double. Naturally, these borders will have to be strengthened," Dmitry Medvedev, former president and deputy chairman of Russia's Security Council, wrote on his official Telegram channel Thursday.

Russia will have to "seriously strengthen the grouping of land forces and air defense, deploy significant naval forces in the waters of the Gulf of Finland. In this case, it will no longer be possible to talk about any nuclear-free status of the Baltic - the balance must be restored," he said.

The comments come a day after Finland and Sweden said their decision on whether to apply for NATO membership would come within a matter of weeks. The countries' leaders said their security assessments had dramatically changed following Russia's invasion of Ukraine in February.

The Baltics — the northeastern European countries of Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia — are members of the EU and NATO. Sweden and Finland are members of the EU, but not NATO, and the latter shares an 830-mile border with Russia.

If Finland and Sweden did join NATO, this would give Moscow "more officially registered opponents," Medvedev added. He claimed that NATO was planning to admit the two Nordic states with "minimal bureaucratic procedures."

Russia's response should be taken with "no emotion, with a cold head," he added.

Moscow sees neighboring Finland's potential inclusion in NATO as a threat to its national security, as the U.S. could deploy advanced military equipment in Finland if it joined the alliance.

'Nothing New'

Lithuania, which borders the Russian exclave of Kaliningrad, brushed off Medvedev's comments on Thursday.

It's "nothing new," Lithuanian Prime Minister Ingrida Simonyte said. The country's defense minister, Arvydas Anusauskas, added that Russia already has nuclear weapons in the Baltic region.

"The current Russian threats look quite strange, when we know that, even without the present security situation, they keep the weapon 100 km from Lithuania's border," Anusauskas was quoted by Lithuania's BNS wire as saying.

"Nuclear weapons have always been kept in Kaliningrad ... the international community, the countries in the region, are perfectly aware of this. ... They use it as a threat," he added.

Kaliningrad, which is slightly larger than Connecticut, borders the Baltic Sea on its west and is sandwiched between NATO members Poland and Lithuania.

Moscow's invasion of Ukraine has triggered a U-turn in Finnish public opinion on becoming a member of the 30-country military alliance, which it has refrained from joining since World War II in a bid to maintain neutrality. Moscow has in the past warned of severe consequences and instability in the Nordics if Finland were to join.

If Finland joined the alliance, Sweden would likely follow suit. Finland and Sweden, as well as Ukraine, are already "Enhanced Opportunity Partners" of NATO, the closest form of partnership with the alliance, and partake in military exercises with NATO states.

Rather than urging the countries to pursue membership, NATO Secretary-General Jens Stoltenberg has repeatedly said it is for Finland and Sweden to decide their own path. He has also said, "the door remains open" for the alliance to welcome new members.

But Russia has long warned against any enlargement of NATO, reportedly accusing the alliance of being "a tool geared towards confrontation." Ahead of its invasion of Ukraine, it demanded that the organization, which was created in 1949 in response to the threat posed by the Soviet Union, return to its pre-1997 borders — something the U.S. and NATO refused.

Fourteen countries have joined the collective defense alliance since 1997, accounting for nearly half of its members. These countries include much of Central and Eastern Europe, and the first NATO members to border Russia and its exclave territory of Kaliningrad: Poland, Latvia, Lithuania and Estonia.

Moscow blames Ukraine's pursuit of NATO membership, among other things, for triggering the invasion, saying it threatened Russia's security. NATO leaders have reiterated that they will not send troops into Ukraine to help in the fight against Russia, primarily because the country is not a member of the alliance.

''The persistent attempts by NATO to draw those countries into the orbit of its interests and opportunistic policies haven't gone unnoticed by Russia," Russian's Foreign Ministry said in December 2021.

"It's quite obvious that Finland and Sweden joining NATO … would have serious military and political consequences that would require an adequate response from the Russian side," ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova said at the time.

Risks Abound

Finland's and Sweden's leaders say they are aware of the risk of escalation.

"We also need to be very frank about consequences and risks. There are both short-term and more long-term risks. These risks are there both if we apply and if we do not apply," Finnish Prime Minister Sanna Marin said during a news conference Wednesday.

Still, looking at the devastation wrought on Ukraine in a matter of weeks, Marin pointed to the significance of being a fully fledged NATO member, rather than just a partner, which is its current status.

"The difference between being a partner and being a member is very clear and will remain so," Marin said. "There is no other way to have security guarantees than under NATO's deterrence and common defense as guaranteed by NATO's Article 5."

The alliance's Article 5 embodies the principle of collective defense. In short, Article 5 means that an attack against one NATO member is considered an attack against all the allies.

When Vladimir Putin launched his invasion of Ukraine, his goals were clear. He wanted to bring his neighbor to heel, assert Russian authority in Eastern Europe and make the West think twice about expanding militarily and politically toward Russia's borders.

But in one important respect, Putin's plan appears to have failed: The war has united the West against Moscow in ways that seemed unimaginable in January.

Now, Finland and Sweden -- nations that are officially non-aligned -- are edging ever closer toward joining NATO, the US-led military alliance.

Speaking at a joint news conference with her Swedish counterpart in Stockholm on Wednesday, Finnish Prime Minister Sanna Marin said her country's decision on whether to apply for membership would be made within "weeks, not within months."

"We need to have a view on the future and we are using this time to analyze and also build common views on the future when it comes to security," Marin said. "I won't give any kind of timetable when we will make our decisions, but I think it will happen quite fast. Within weeks, not within months."

The Finnish government presented a wide-ranging report to the country's parliament on Wednesday, which considered the effects of NATO membership.

The report says that if Finland and Sweden become full NATO members, "the threshold for using military force in the Baltic Sea region would rise," enhancing "the stability of the region in the long term."

The report says that the "most significant effect" of NATO membership "would be that Finland would be part of NATO's collective defence, and be covered by the security guarantees enshrined in Article 5," adding that the deterrent effect of being a NATO member would be "considerably stronger than it is at present, as it would be based on the capabilities of the entire Alliance."

The report warns that due to Russia's "negative view towards NATO enlargement," if Finland applied for NATO membership, it should be prepared for "risks that are difficult to anticipate." It adds that Finland "would aim to continue to maintain functioning relations with Russia in the event it becomes a NATO member."

The paper also noted that "close cooperation between Finland and Sweden during possible accession processes would be important," and that "simultaneous accession processes" for the two countries could also "facilitate preparation for and response to Russia's possible reaction."

Sweden, meanwhile, is due to complete an analysis of its security policy by the end of May. A Swedish official previously told CNN that their nation could make its position public sooner, depending on when neighboring Finland does.

On Wednesday, Swedish Prime Minister Magdalena Andersson told the news conference that "the security landscape has completely changed" after Russia's invasion of Ukraine and "given this situation we have to really think through what is best for Sweden and our security and our peace in this new situation."

"This is a very important time in history. There is a before and after 24th of February," Andersson said, referring to the date Russia's invasion began. "We have to have a process in Sweden to think this through."

Andersson was also asked to comment on reports in Swedish media that Sweden has already decided to join the alliance.

"Sometimes if you read some statements in Swedish media, it's like you should be as quick as possible to make up your mind," she responded. "I think you really have to analyze the new situation, do it very seriously, think about the consequences, the pros and cons of all potential ways forward."

Public opinion in both countries has shifted significantly since the invasion, and NATO allies and officials are on the whole supportive of the two countries joining. The only serious objection could come from Hungary, whose leader is close with Putin, but NATO officials think it would be able to twist Prime Minister Viktor Orban's arm

Given that Putin started his war demanding that NATO roll its borders back to where they were in the 1990s, the fact this is even being considered represents a diplomatic disaster for Moscow. And if Finland in particular were to join, Putin would find Russia suddenly sharing an additional 830-mile border with NATO.

Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov warned on Monday that expanding NATO wouldn't bring any more stability to Europe.

"We have repeatedly said that the alliance itself is more of a tool for confrontation. This is not an alliance that provides peace and stability, and further expansion of the alliance, of course, will not lead to more stability on the European continent," he said.

Rob Bauer, the head of NATO's military committee, told reporters on Tuesday that the alliance has not ruled out new members, but said it was ultimately up to Finland and Sweden to decide whether they want to join, Reuters reported.

"It is a sovereign decision of any nation that wants to join NATO to apply for membership, which they so far have not done ... We are forcing no one into NATO," Bauer said.

Nor has Putin's invasion motivated Ukraine to pull back from its desire for closer integration with the West. While the country is unlikely to join NATO, its efforts to join the European Union have accelerated since the start of the war. This would take a very long time and could also face stiff opposition from Hungary, which is already in a nasty battle with Brussels over its violations of the rule of law, causing the EU to propose suspending central funding to Budapest.

However, once again, the fact it's being talked about and the level of support among EU leaders and officials is another indication of just how united the West has become against Russia.

It's worth noting that since the start of the war, the West has remained largely united in its response to Russia, be it through economic sanctions or military support for Ukraine.

However, there are a few challenges coming up that will test how united this alliance against Russia really is.

First, if it emerges that Russia has used chemical weapons in Ukraine, there will be enormous pressure for the West, particularly NATO, to take an even more active role in the war -- something the alliance has been reluctant to do so far.

NATO members have already discussed red lines and what action should be taken in the event of chemical weapons, but those details are still private to prevent Russia from taking pre-emptive protective action.

However, any NATO intervention would almost certainly lead to a less stable security situation in Europe, as the West would risk a military confrontation with Russia -- a nuclear power, which would likely respond by intensifying its attacks on Ukraine and possibly in other areas of traditional Russian influence.

Second, the cost of living crisis in many European countries could soon test the unity of future Western sanctions on Russia and embargoes on Russian energy.

If, ultimately, the economy of Western Europe is deemed more important than holding Russia to account for waging war on its peaceful neighbor, then Putin could to some extent get away with invading an innocent country.

But for now, as that unity largely holds, it is clear that Putin's desire to belittle the Western alliance has backfired -- and that the strongman has secured pariah status for his nation, possibly for years to come.

[irisbaggins]

One thing I’ve learned about the MCU fandom is that many have no idea how the UN operates.......

[jouissanceangel]

“Meanwhile gay male pornography, which often appears to present an idealized, all-male, superbutch world, also contains frequent derogatory references to women, or to feminized males. In order to give vent to male sexual aggression and sadism in homosexual pornography and also to circumvent the cultural stigma that ordinarily attaches to men who are “treated like a woman” in sex, gay male pornography has developed several specific “codes.” One such code is that a man who is “capable” of withstanding “discipline” —extremely punishing bondage, humiliation, and fistfucking, for instance—is deemed to have achieved a kind of supermasculinity, almost as if the sexual violence his body ingests from another man enhances his own sexual identity as a man. (This is quite the reverse in heterosexual pornography, where sexual sadism against a woman simply confirms her in her subordinate status.)

 Another code common in gay male pornography, one found frequently in films, is that if a man is shown being assfucked, he will generally be shown assfucking someone else in turn—this serves to avoid the connotation that he is at all feminized by being fucked. Still another code in gay male pornography is that depictions of mutuality are not sustained for very long without an intimation or explicit scene of force or coercion—so you don’t go limp out of boredom or anxiety that you’ve been suckered into a scene where there’s no raw male power present.” - John Stoltenberg, Pornography and Homophobia, in “Refusing to be a Man”

[gemsofgreece]

Any comments on the latest declarations by the Turkish FM? Because personally my reaction was "this burned all my last brain cells but one" and also now I'm scared again

Wait can I also get a comment on Stontelberg or whatever his name is and EU, in regard to Kasuvoglou's declarations? I forgot to add that before. My brain is still on strike

Wow Anon you totally murdered their names but I mean... well done for murdering them, you know?

Anyway, I had not searched this in depth but in short some nice things Turkish FM Çavuşoğlu (that was copy-paste) said recently were:

“Greece should not be influenced by other countries (???) and do exercises wherever it wants and any other steps. Otherwise we will not only have an accident, but we will do what we have to do“  NOTE: Here, by “wherever it wants” the Turkish FM means the official and legal Greek territorial waters and the Greek EEZ. In the rest of his sentence, he let us know that Turkey is ready and willing to attack Greece on purpose, if Greece does something as provocative as move within its own borders.

He added that “the members of the Muslim minority of Thrace should be called Turks”. NOTE: Here the Turkish FM equates an entire religious minority in Greece to his own nationality. He also forgets that according to the Treaty of Lausanne: “ Moslems established in the region to the east of the frontier line laid down in 1918 by the Treaty of Bucharest shall be considered as Moslem inhabitants of Western Thrace”.  It is true that the majority of the Muslims of Thrace have Turkish ancestry but this completely excludes other people, such as Pomak and Roma Muslims who are 35% and 15% of the minority respectively. And I reassure you Turkey doesn’t do that because it’s so (mistakenly) woke about sensitive terminology but because if all the Muslim minority was named Turkish, Turkey would invade Thrace in milliseconds as a “rightfully Turkish region”.

He also threatened on Friday that if Greece expands its territorial waters to 12 nautical miles in the Aegean Sea this will be “occasion for war”. NOTE: The expansion of territorial waters to 12 nautical miles is a right of any country surrounded by sea and literally every country can use that right whenever it wants. The Turkish Parliament decided in 1990 on its own that if Greece in specific did that, it would be casus belli (occasion for war) because fuck you, that’s why.

Last but not least, he said that Greece “claims” sea space for an island 2km off the coast of Turkey. NOTE: This is about the island Kastellorizo which is officially and legally, even to Turkey’s admission, a Greek island within the Greek borders populated by Greeks. However, Turkey is one of the 8 countries in the world which did not sign the United Nations Charter Law of the Sea, according to which islands have sea space just like mainlands do. Unlike Turkey most of the other countries that did not sign it are landlocked, but Turkey obviously did not sign it in order to question Greece’s territorial waters later. Turkey’s aim is to basically eliminate Greece’s authority in its own sea and be able to sail and do whatever they want undisturbed in short distances from and in the mid of the Greek islands. Furthermore, it would create all the perfect conditions for Turkey to eventually claim these islands with the argument “our sea, our islands”. Right now, Turkey tries to convince us that  it’s gonna be “their sea, our islands” which as you may understand is one of the most ridiculous things to be imagined or believed in world history. However, extremists in the Turkish TV have shown multiple times maps that depict the Aegean Sea and the Aegean Islands separated in half.

I’m not gonna waste that much time in NATO’s secretary general Stoltenberg, in short he met good fella Çavuşoğlu, who told him that “if EU applies sanctions against Turkey, it will destroy everything”. After this not at all threatening declaration, Stoltenberg thanked Turkey for being such a good ally in NATO and for seeking to solve the issues with Greece with DiALOGuE. He also made clear that “NATO, through the mechanism designed to avoid friction military, has helped bring positions closer”. Don’t ask me what that means, I’m still trying to figure it out.  There was also a thing I didn’t quite get, will Turkey assume the leadership of NATO for 2021? If it is so, RIP Greece.

OVERALL VERDICT: Nothing new, that’s how they’ve always been, I didn’t even bat an eye.

For sources: just check in vids and articles what they said

[prisonhannibal]

Do you have any cablepool fanfic recommendations bc I suffer daily trying to find good ones (especially comic based, but movie is fine too)

I think you might be a long distance telepath because I got an ask like this a while ago and didn’t answer it bc I needed time to think. and then I couldn’t find it in my inbox so I decided to just write a regular post, and while I was writing that post I got this ask!

ok these are in no particular order and I’m not using the actual plot summaries the authors used on ao3, just making stuff up or using quotes from the fic

one-shots

Landing on both broken hearted knees by rayguntomyhead (1.6k words, rated M)

Post Deadpool 2. Wade and Nate share a hotel room. I know what you’re thinking, it’s not that kind of fic. Nothing is going on with them yet.

Tropes by quakey (2.2k words, rated T)

Wade’s been reading TVtropes, and if Nate is fucking with him right now, Wade is gonna gut him like a fish and throw his bloody corpse in the sea for the sharks.

These days are great and so are you by bankrobbery (3k words, rated T)

Movie based. Wade gets kinkshamed by Weasel and hawaiian-shirt-shamed by Cable. They’re at the bar, basically

Motormouth by pavonine (13k words, rated T)

Wade can’t shut the fuck up, and this time it’s not even his fault! Wade’s been cursed to never be able to stop talking, which is really fucking inconvenient if you’ve got stuff you’re trying to not say.

also the norwegian prime minister is in it very briefly, and it was posted in 2013, when jens stoltenberg was the PM so I’m just gonna assume it’s him and bring your attention to this picture of him which I think is hilarious

Pressure points by denims (2k words, rated M)

Cable keeps casually touching him, which probably doesn’t mean anything (don’t listen to domino, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about), but it makes Wade feel weird. So, so weird.

Multi-chapter

Wade will f*** shit up for you by Quakey @withoutaconscienceorafilter (48k words, rated E, so minors stay away from this one, it’s the only thing on the list with actually NSFW scenes.)

The craigslist ad said “My name’s Wade and I fuck shit up professionally. So your ex getting married? I’ll crash that shit. Your job fire before their company picnick? I’ll show up with tequila and throw hands. Got some one one you hate an just wanna fuck their day up? I’m all over that shit. Serving all situations where we customize your service to your liking email me for pricing. Services guaranteed with video.” Maybe this is a horrible idea, and maybe he shouldn’t have, but Nate did answer it, so things are definitely about to get weird

I’m biased on this one because it was based on a post I made but it seriously is really good it’s super funny (almost choked to death trying not to laugh on the bus at one point) and in character and some of the scenes are so so so cute. Not sold yet? Hope is in it. AND Ellie. Hell yeah! This one is movie based, and I really like that it’s a regular non powered AU, but Nate’s arm+eye and Wade’s scars are still included. Like Nate has a prosthetic arm and Wade actually looks like Wade.

Fistful of shovels by surefall (28.6k words, rated T)

Now, you might be thinking, ms. Mutantapologist, this is tagged spideypool?? It is, but just trust me okay

Wade’s best friend, bromanciest of bros to ever bro, Nathan Summers is back in his life, and he’s really starting to get under Peter’s skin. They’re just too close, and Nathan is there all the damn time. List of things Wade’s weird time traveling BFF would look good in: 1. his own damn home. Nate and Peter get passive aggressive and competitive, Nate’s manipulative tendencies make an appearance, Peter is kind of a dick, and Wade’s honestly just happy to have his BFF back.

this is one of my favorite portrayals of their relationship dynamic tbh. just...their unbreakable bond...the way they keep coming back to each other through time and dimensions...that shit makes me cryyyy. and how well they know each other..the trust...the casual intimacy....how comfortable they’re with each other...also the dialogue in this is perfect, love their banter. This one is “screenshotting quotes and sending them to your friends” level funny. they also play mario kart and I think that’s nice.

Read Omake: Fistful of shovels for the Deleted Scenes Edition that has stuff that didn’t make it into the final fic or alternate versions of scenes. includes: Nate sending a shirtless selfie with ulterior motives, Nate being sort of a home wrecker (but at least he’s more honest about it!), aunt May, Nate being accused of being a bottom, etc.

Strangers by totallynotremus @totallynotremus (31k, rated T)

Nate plays games. Not weird manipulative mind games this time. Actual games. Online. With Wade and his friends. Wade feels targeted because come on, you behave mildly flirtatiously with the guy your friend group is gaming with online a lot acouple of times and suddenly your so called “friends” won’t stop harassing you about it. unbelievable. this one is also super funny

Motion Practice Universe: Cablepool Edition

I couldn’t put these in either category because they need to be in order and there’s one-shots AND a multi chapter fic so i’d have to separate them and that wouldn’t work. These are part of the (as of august 2020) 1,405,078 words long Motion Practice Universe, but you don’t need to read the rest of it to know what’s going on, I didn’t and it works 100% fine as a stand-alone storyline

Wade Wilson explains it all (or at least, how Clint’s keeping his job. Mostly keeping his job. It’s complicated.) by the_wordbutler (3.3k words, rated T)

Wade is trying to put together a fruit basket for Clint, because he’s a thoughtful friend (who does not get enough credit, hello?), unlike some other people. Example: his coworkers, who won’t let him focus on his super special important project (fruit basket!). And Nate, who’s eating an orange (from the fruit basket!😡) which has no business being that distracting.

it’s sort of an introduction to the next thing in the list, and I highly recommend reading it first. Definitely does a great job at showing what you’re gonna get from the full fic. Also, it’s cute and funny.

Admissions, Interrogatories, and other discoveries by the_wordbutler (150k words, rated M)

No, that wasn’t a typo, it really is 150k words. And I read it. Twice.

Basically, Wade is a criminal defense attorney, good job, you get to defend goat fuckers and other weirdos. Fun times. Nate’s a coworker, works in immigration and civil rights law, they do projects together. Just a bro he jokes around with, who sometimes brings Wade lunch, and whose arms Wade really likes to stare at, but that doesn’t mean anything, right?

this one is REAL slowburn (never in my LIFE have i experienced slow burn like this one holy FUCK), great relationship development and I just love their dynamic and banter in this one. Perfect dialogue and it’s really fucking funny, made me laugh out loud at several points! AND!! Hope is in it<3

What I learned on my summer vacation, an essay by Hope Summers by the_wordbutler (4.5k words, rated T)

Sequel to Admissions, interrogatories and other m discoveries. Wade, Nate, and ten year old Hope go to Disney World, and the beach. A lot of love and family<3 Wade took 3 sign language classes to talk to Hope (who’s deaf)

I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot of great ones but here’s what I could think of rn!!