#fuck off all entertainment news outlets

[cancmbyn]

Independent Spirit Award livestream

Hassan Minhaj as host is somewhat cringeworthy, but hell if he ain’t ABSOLUFUCKINGLUTEY RIGHT about the sad state of “entertainment journalism” and their “journalists” by calling out Deadline.com

He goes off on them at 17:15 and finishes around 20:00 min. Good for him (or the anon intro writer helped him vent).

Thank you!

[cancmbyn]

ETCanada,

We see you too.

👏👏

[anomaly-hivemind]

Whose Better ☆ Gang orca x Reader x Shishido | Kinktober Day 18

Summary: It had all started over a simple joke you had said absentmindedly.

Word Count: 1081

Tags: spitroasting, large cock, roughsex, non-human genitalia, rivals with benefits,

It had all started over a simple joke you had said absentmindedly, and now the two heroes were fighting each other like they tend to already do, but now there was an added match you had thrown into the fires of their rivalry.   This is how you ended up in this oversized bed, stripped of your clothes and sandwiched between the pro heroes.  

"It's not like you get with many women anyway," Shishido said while holding your hips and grinding into you a little. Whether it was intentional or not, you can’t tell them again. You don’t mind the feeling. 

"I can actually satisfy women the first time around, but you can't say the same. "  Sakamata said he was holding one of your legs open; you look over to him before talking. 

“You must be around each other a LOT to know these things so well.” You muttered to yourself more than you did to them because neither of them was listening to you.

Couldn't help but think or at least assume that these two had some kind of relationship beyond just their rivalry.  The comments and verbal jabs to each seem too personal, too intimate, and a bit private. You wouldn't even be surprised if these two have done countless other things besides fight and bicker behind closed doors. Their tension goes beyond whose better than you were certain.  You were merely an outlet that they intended to use in the current situation. 

Another thing that you didn’t mind about this whole situation was  They were both rather entertaining, and the way they sandwiched your naked body kept you nice and warm as well.   

“I've never seen you remotely have a partner” Shishido gives Sakamata a shit-eating grin and pulls you back onto him. Your body is tilted to that unbalanced angle. 

“ Obviously, I wouldn't be flaunting them around public spaces for their safety, use your head”  Gangorca scolded him as if he had been tried by a toddler.

“He does have a point,” You murmured, but this time, your comment did catch their attention.

“Whose side are you on!” shishido moves back, and you get ready to fall backward onto the bed.

“Obviously, the one common sense.”  Sakamata catches you and holds you against his exposed chest, his large hands holding on to you firmly. Where did his shirt go? You don't know…

“That's supposed to be you.”  Shishido yanks you from Sakamata, and you let out a dry ow as you get jostled back and forth

“Do you really want me to answer that…” You've got a little dizzy from  being somewhat aggressively shaken between the two men.

“Fuck…me” You huff, and the shaking of your body stops, and with that, your dizziness with it.

“That's a good idea. Then we can prove who's really the better one.” Shishido started to strip out of his clothes to become as naked as you are.

“Wait, what?” You didn't actually process what he said, and you're not too sure if you understood him correctly. What are they doing?

“This is one way to prove things.” Sakamata takes off his pants and undergarments. Are you really about to witness a literal dick-measuring contest?  You were watching the two as they had left you sitting on the bed so they could compare sizes. It was completely ridiculous. 

“You know that isn't going to prove much of anything right. Especially if your goal is to please women.”  They both seem to think about your words for a short moment.

“Guess you'll be what proves who's better,” they kind of said in a messy version of unison as they walked towards you with a new look at determination, hunger and desire.

—-----------------

“Yeah, this will show you who the best really is,” Shishido groaned as he thrusted into your mouth. Your head rested on his raised leg as he fucked your mouth at an angle.  He gave you little time to adjust before he was roughly pushing into your mouth.  Not that you were complaining,

“We’ll see about that” Sakamata held your hip as his thick but slim cock filled you up before being pulled all the way out of you.

  You were on cloud nine, if not a bit overwhelmed. Once you get used to the completely different rhythms pounding into you, they will switch something up.  They both pull away from you and flip you on your back, Sakamata crossing your legs over your stomach an fucking into your lifted cunt. With Shishido slapping his dick on top of your face before jerking on top of you. You look up and feel the need to stir the pot.

“Who's better at kissing?” You smirk and move, quickly taking Shishido back into the depths of your mouth.  

“How the hell are we supposed to do that when you're sucking dick?!” Shishido let out a cursed moan, feeling your mouth wrapped around his length.

“She wants us to decide that, obviously.”  He rams his hips into you before grabbing the other man's shoulder.

“I'll show you!” They moved closer together, which only moved them deeper into you from opposite ends.

Before you knew it, when you looked back up after being lost in your own head, you saw the two rivals locking lips. As they pushed your body back and forth, Sakamata and Shishido’s tongues twirled around each other. The kiss was passionate and heated, the kind that certainly led to third base if you ignored the fact that you all were already there. 

When they pulled apart, a string of saliva connected their lips, and you could hear their low growls. They exchanged words, each claiming that each one was the better kisser before that went back in for another, seemingly needing more judgment.

Just when you were about to come, they pulled out and jerked above you. Your hands traveled down to your cunt, teasing and circling it until your legs tensed and shook, and you released the waves of ecstasy upon yourself. A wanton moan escaped your mouth. You could hear their moans above you as pleasure coursed through your being. Warm spurts on cum decorated your body as the two pros worked out their semen above you.

After the three of you caught your breath, the two pros looked down at you expectantly, waiting for any answer to the question that had slipped your mind for a moment.

“Would you guys be mad if I said it was a tie?”

[cancmbyn]

C’mon now, this “journalist” couldn’t identify with unions or workers, even if she tried.

And she doesn’t try…or want to try…

Her “journalism” is limited to buying positive stories about herself, trashing and re-trashing her ex-husband and pressuring her friends to go to the media with said trash stories….amongst other horrors.

well calling herself a journalist in her bio …

[leclerc-s]

paint the town red - part four

FERRARI (TAYLOR'S VERSION)

series masterlist

peter parker i'm going to miss you guys

sebastian vettel it's a week break peter. we'll be fine.

peter parker A WEEK IS TOO LONG! I SPENT THE LAST MONTH WITH YOU PEOPLE!

ollie bearman i'm happy to go home. away from peter. sometimes i worry for him.

bianca stark-potts you wouldn’t be the first ollie.

harley keener i bet oscar is happy to get away from peter

peter parker fuck off

tony stark language

bianca stark-potts pipe down steve rogers

charles leclerc i do not understand

harley keener the avengers were on a mission one time and steve accidentally said language when someone cursed.

peter parker I MISS YOU GUYS!

carlos sainz you just left???

tony stark we should spend the next break at seb’s farm

sebastian vettel ABSOLUTELY NOT! i don’t want you heathens on my farm!

charles leclerc aww come on. call it team bonding or something.

carlos sainz i’m sure you know all about that harley keener yeah you would know all about team bonding wouldn’t you?

tony stark what the hell does that mean?

harley keener nothing old man.

carlos sainz don’t worry about it.

peter parker YOU GUYS SHOULD COME TO NEW YORK SOON!!

charles leclerc i'd like to see my family, thank you for the invite though.

bianca stark-potts harley i swear to god you open your fat mouth and carlos will be down a race engineer.

harley keener well maybe someone and someone else shouldn’t have gotten drunk after bahrain and slept with each other.

charles leclerc it was a one time thing!

carlos sainz then what the hell was saudi?

harley keener IT HAPPENED TWICE??

bianca stark-potts three times actually

charles leclerc although that one doesn’t count because nothing happened. we did sleep on the same bed.

harley keener I’M TELLING NAT!

bianca stark-potts AND I’LL TELL EVERYONE YOU STARTED THAT RUMOR ABOUT CLINT LIVING IN THE VENTS!

charles leclerc it won’t happen again, i promise.

carlos sainz okay mr. 'i won't date her friend carlos. i promise.'

harley keener HOMIE HOPPER!!

charles leclerc fuck you keener.

harley keener of course you would want to, you already slept with my friend now you want to sleep with me. charles leclerc OH COME ON! harley keener it's okay, i know it was an inchident charles leclerc honestly just date arthur, you two are perfect for each other. fucking pricks

biancastark-potts has posted new stories

back home, new york how i've missed you.

mr.woofstappen is glad to be back home.

reunited with my favorite person michellejones

someone teach these boomers how to pose for pictures

AUSTRALIA 2024

scuderiaferrari posted new stories

quali day (carlos' version)

quali day (charles' version)

AND THAT'S ANOTHER POLE POSITION FOR CHARLES LECLERC HERE IN AUSTRALIA!!

THAT'S P1 AND P3 FOR OUR BOYS FOR QUALI!

taglist: @celesteblack08 @be-your-coffee-pot @evans-dejong @elliegrey2803 @bingewatche @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @lorarri @melanier7 @ironspdy @mypage-myfandoms @vellicora @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @enchantedthoughts @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @fulla02 @cowboylikemets1989 @six-call @embrosegraves @justtprachisblog @bionic-donut @rmeddar123 @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @raizelchrysanderoctavius

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

¡leclerc-s speaks! peter parker is a swiftie, you cannot convince me otherwise. let's get ready for whatever shitshow las vegas is going to be (i say this as an american. at least i live on the west coast so the schedule isn't as bad for me as it is for others. same time zone as vegas baby!!!)

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[yourstrqly]

SPINNING THREADS

alex albon x mafiosa!reader x george russell

revenge always tastes better when celebrated with your right hand and his lover

warnings: mafia topics such as planned murder, coarse language, cheating on reader, unnamed fiance because I couldn't think of a fitting name, sex mentioned, sexual acts (fingering)

part two — masterlist

a whimper climbed up your throat, treating to surface into the cold air of the storage hall lined with supercars, pricey motorcycles and vintage cars, and bitter tears welled in your half closed eyes but you did remember your promise to your little self years ago that no man was granted to see them spill over, not even the man who had claimed to love you for a lifetime. alas his understanding of love was different to yours, sickly twisted — if he held the love he repeatedly said to have, why did he cozy up to a woman who wasn't you?

he knew you were a busy woman and he enjoyed the perks of your success even though he didn't exactly know what you worked as nor how much you made in a year; since the beginning of your relationship you both shared an unsaid understanding that he hadn't to task and he was absolutely fine with it. the beautiful man was more or less an armcandy, or as your right hand alex used to say your sugar babe; eventually your partner proposed which wasn't as romantic as you had hoped for but it was your fault, you could've shared that side of yourself to him.

you had been in a negotiation with leclerc, head of the monegasque mafia, aswell as verstappen and hamilton, respective heads of the dutch and british mafia when clement, your man responsible to observe certain people and media outlets, signalled you with a touch to his watch that something was up. the french leaned against the wall next to armstrong, a guy of hamilton. the pair of them were kind of friends in that sense of joining each other on social gathering, they might have fucked too because the air between them screamed like sexual tension.

as the negotiation came to an end and the tension left the room, small talkes between various people raised — only hamilton stood up, stretched his hand to each of the heads still sitting at the large wooden table, claiming he was awaited home for dinner.

after walking him out yourself and returning to you other guests you noticed the closeness between charles and max. they had a lot of history, fighting when they were under training as young boys which then blossomed into a friendship, or more. you wouldn't ask, observe their actions whilst minding your business.

you didn't sit down, letting arthur, charles' younger brother take your seat because your mind was focused on clem's new information. slowly you made your way across the room to him, coming to an halt with a raised eyebrow at the kiwi standing next to him. he nodded at you and made space so you could exchange a private moment.

"what is it, novalak?", you mumbled, eyes roaming the room.

he wordlessly gave you his phone, one you had given him specifically to research. opened was a chat between himself and one of his team, plainly showing off a series of pictues where your fiance sat with a woman on his lap in a fancy club where you once partied together. no guilt showed on his face causing your cheeks to heat up.

"that bastard."

alex, ever present, meet your eyes. the thai clearly read your expression, the embarrassment and fury printed on your face — not that anyone else could observe that as you had only pinched your eyebrows together but he knew you for a decade. there wasn't an emotion and situation he couldn't read.

clem put his phone away without commenting on the situation; he knew his place and he also knew that only alex and george were allowed to joke with you.

the rest of the day you entertained your guest, presenting them traditional cuisine and showing the eager arthur your car park. in the morning all traces of guests were gone, leaving you with your problem at hand.

tuesday arrived, the date you and your partner had set last week went painfully long and you had only one thing on your mind: murder.

"want to come over at my place?", you sweetly asked, making doe eyes at him. his once stunning blue icy eyes looked awfully disgusting, the hair too long and the beard unkempt. you didn't know what you saw in him and why you thought he'd be the right man on your side.

a cooky smirk etched on his lips as he leaned forward. "sure whenever. want daddy to fuck you good?", he whispered, trying to look seductive but failing miserably.

you stood up, hand sloting in his sweaty one, lulling him to your cherry red ferrari charles had gifted you on your birthday, claiming that it was a missing piece in your collection which in fact was true and you had happily accepted the gift.

the drive was smooth, your passenger way to concentrated on his phone to notice the new route; if you were to throw away trash than it had to happen somewhere you wouldn't have to clean up much. ideal for your plans was your car park as the ground was easy to clean; you pitied the man a bit for the trust he held in a jug to notice that his secret wasn't one anymore.

he looked up, taking in the trees aligning the narrow bumby road. "Where are we going?"

keeping the eyes on the road, your left hand touched his thigh. "Oh babe, you see I purchased a new house and I thought we could christening it", you purred. you felt his cook grow under your fingertips and smiled; he made it so easy for you, you could watch a series after the finished job.

arriving at the gates, one of your men behind the counter of the small cabin that where to your right, let you easily drive through and you ran up the car to the storage hall, parking it in its designated spot.

as soon as the motor's smooth purrs stopped, your partner opened his door, leaving you alone as he walked up to a rolls royce silver shadow. he touched the car without a thought in the word, to absorbed in a fantasy to even notice two man walking in, one opening the door of the ferrari you sat in, giving a hand to pull you out of it while the other pulled out a gun, resting it against his side.

george waited for the man to move back in the aisle; no one wanted to clean the cars and the liar wasnt worthy to leave a nasty damage in one of your cars — dennis, young mechanic and passionate car lover, would surely have your head if there was only a hair on the hood of one of them. you wouldn't want to see the norwegian truly angry, he was more on the softer side, a reason why you took him in and kept him away from the dirty business.

"why don't we fuck in one of these cars, maybe the aston, before taking it to the bedroom, sugar?", your fiance asked, turning around to walk in the middle of the aisle where you wanted him to be, gaze fixed on another supercar.

the brunette brit raised his gun, pointing it to the other man's head, blue eyes flitting to you, waiting for his timing.

you sent him a smile, relaxing the shoulders. simultaneously alex stepped up to you, one hand resting comfortably against the small of your back, resulting in you grabbing his hand and placing it lower to lay against your rear.

his eyes widened at your bold gesture; back when you were teenagers you used to fuck around but then you were appointed head of the family and the sex stopped. he pinched your ass through the silky blush coloured dress you wore before gliding down to cup your pussy which was already wet, getting a silent moan out of you.

it wasn't a normal day; you were about to see george murder your scumbag of a partner in a fitted dress pants which graced you with the delicious sight of his well trained thighs and the dark half opened shirt clung to the muscles of his back. and then there was alex, dressed the same, hair fluffy and lips slightly swollen, indicating that george must have kissed him stupid prior. you also hadn't had sex for weeks and the self love only could do so much.

all things combined you were desperate and you were ready to move onto the next man or in this case men.

"sorry mate, we already fucked in the aston", alex spoke into the silence, frightening the man. the thai pushed a finger between your plush lips, gathering the wetness on the tip to tap it against your mouth, intensly watching as you sucked his finger. your head fell onto his shoulder, eyes interlocked with his; you hallowed your cheeks and ran your tongue up and down his finger, letting him decide the pace.

"You're such a pretty little slut, y/n", he groaned.

your fiancé let out an angry scream, ready to throw his fist but he didn't get a chance to take a step. george already pulled the trigger, shoting right in the forehead.

"what an idiot", the brunette muttered. you giggled at his words, pulling alex' hand away. someone else would clean up the mess in the morning.

"you both joining me in the bedroom tonight? wanna celebrate a new chapter. "

[maladaptiveobsession]

*pokes you politely*

How would bailey deal with the pcs suicide death? Loved the headcanons for the LI's (I almost cried) but what about or detested dearest?

“Too little, too late” pt.2

➥ pt. 1

➥ Synopsis: Bailey’s reaction to the player’s suicide.

➥ Contains: gn!reader, male!bailey, yandere!bailey, suicide by hanging, descriptive death

➥ Words: 905

➥ A/N: Again, do not take the content warnings above lightly. Bailey’s sentiments and the player’s death is described in detail. His feelings are quite complicated and couldn’t possibly be explained in short excerpt format, so this entire post is dedicated to him. Unfortunately, it seems that every character I write for ends up obsessive and infatuated. Still, I hope this is to your liking.

Assuming you’re a dependent, nothing more or less, he’s not all that distraught. More so annoyed. You wouldn’t be the first of his orphans to off themselves, and you certainly wouldn’t be the last, but fuck if the paperwork wasn’t infuriating. Being honest, he had grown partial to you. Of all the little shits, you were his favorite. Really, he thought you were tougher than this. What a shame. He’ll remember you, though with less clarity over the years. He very occasionally entertains thoughts of who you’d have grown into given the chance. Additionally, he might sell your body if the demand is high enough.

Now, having developed a deeper bond than that of caretaker and charge, he’s certainly not taking your death well. For so long now, he’s handled difficulties with violence and retaliation. Had you simply been murdered by an overzealous pervert, he’d have an outlet for his aggression. But no, as your own killer, there's no culprit to make pay. There’s nobody to blame but perhaps himself.

Your entire relationship had been new territory for him. It had been so long since he had felt anything beyond exhaustion and annoyance, even longer since he had developed genuine attraction. There was much struggle navigating the terrain. Despite his fondness of you, you still owed a debt. Regardless of whatever feelings he harbored, he still had a job to do. Attachment was weakness, and fuck if he didn’t have enough enemies sniffing about for any sort of leverage. His outward indifference was protecting not only himself but you and that other little shit you cared for.

Really though, his attitude towards you swung violently. When his feelings first began manifesting, denial crept in. He cracked down on your payments, showing no leniency. You were auctioned off into increasingly worse and worse circumstances. Yet there were times he was neither the ruthless extortionist nor the iniquitous instigator that had recently surfaced; rather, a disturbingly gentle caregiver took his place. This sudden disruption in his behavior confused and alarmed you.

A long while passed before he returned to clarity, reluctantly accepting his growing obsession. He reflected on your relationship, and his stomach swelled with jealousy, heart heavy at the thought of anyone else touching you. To your disturbance, he became increasingly more controlling and possessive, isolating and restricting you.

At some point, the money no longer mattered to him. He stopped advertising you to his patrons long ago. You belonged to him, and nothing would change that.

His sudden, inexplicable infatuation scared you. Though he'll never know for sure, you must have come to the conclusion that your freedom would only be granted through death.

By no means was he a good lover—something he was well aware of. He didn't need to be told just how unhealthy your relationship was. He doesn’t feel much remorse; you were his to do whatever he pleased with. He was selfish at times, but he always acted in your best interest, regardless of how violently you fought against him.

For all his faults, he kept you safe. He was willing to do whatever it took to keep you unharmed and in his grasp, even if that meant hurting you.

The only fault he acknowledges is that he didn’t pay enough attention to you.

Had he seen past your aggression, he'd have known you were a suicidal fool and would have locked you away where only he had access. There, death would only visit you in your dreams.

Familiar numbness engulfs him after you pass. He won’t lower his walls again; he can’t afford the heartache and betrayal. The townsfolk notice his increased bitterness since your passing. The orphans whisper amongst each other about how much more ruthless he’d become since then.

Bailey works himself to the bone, desperate to forget. He never thought he’d miss anyone, least of all you; he never thought he’d need to. You’re supposed to be here, but he got careless.

He grieves silently. Everything reminds him of you. The weight of your death crushes him, leaving no room for even contentment. He'll spend the rest of his life regretting, always wondering if you might have reciprocated given the time.

He won't cry, but the grief in his eyes is indicative of his misery. He misses your voice, your smile, and your laughter. He regrets not taking more pictures. Above all, he misses the calm moments you shared: sitting in his lap, cheek pressed against his chest with his hand cupping your waist, as you tried not to nod off while he diligently read through stacks of paperwork. At night, he dreams of you; sometimes memories of your laughter. Most nights, he's reminded of the way your body hung limply. He remembers the struggle to cut you loose, revealing raw rope-shaped bruises across your neck. He remembers gathering you in his arm—still warm but growing colder—and nearly crashing his car in the rush to get you to the hospital. He doesn’t remember much of what happened after, but he knows there’s a fist shaped-hole in the waiting room, and Harper is noticeably more on edge around him.

Years go by, and your death still plagues him. Your absence has left him hollow and void, more so than ever before.

His carelessness cost him everything. How could he let the comfort and security you brought him cloud his judgment? What a fool he had let himself become.

[wingsdippedingold]

My statement on ACOTAR characters

(unedited; really just a brain dump)

I know I use a lot of pro and anti tags when it comes to ACOTAR, and while I do have characters I like more than others, I really just dislike them as a whole. I think the series is poorly written and SJM is the one I actually hate.

I honestly can't really criticize or defend any character properly, because the characters themselves are just deficiently made. They all come from the same dumbass author. The main thing keeping me in the fandom are the actual people in it, because they have actual thoughts that make sense, and I find discussing the topics presened entertaining. So I don't wanna hear any "Well if you hate the books so much stop talking about them" bs

I don't hate Rhysand, in fact I think he has a lot of cool moments. I like the idea of him not bowing to anyone but his own people, so he got a knee tat of Velaris (even if I think its dorky). I enjoy his outlook on what's right, and I did genuinely like him early on. But I think the way SJM writes his actions (especially political ones) and their justifications incredibly disjointed poorly thought out. I think he's wrongfully used and justified and digs people into a bad way of thinking ethically because SJM has made no move to do anything but portray him as a white knight. Had the narrative acknowledge some of the things he's done as actually bad, in fact that most of them have bad outcomes for some even if they benefit others, I'd have no issue with him. SHe just writes him doing heinous things for reason and then is like "Oh but he's traumatized so its okay!"

I don't dislike Feyre, but I think she's often shoved into a backseat role in her own series. I know this is a multi-pov story, but seriously? How the fuck did SJM make Feyre's pregnancy climax to nothing more than more Nesta hate??? Why was her experience and thoughts just completely missing in the plot that literally revolved around her?? I find her flaws charming, and yet they're often forgotten or used to justify things that shouldn't be justified. I don't have any issue with her beyond the SC disaster. But, I think the fact that there's Feyre antis in general speaks to how bad of a writer SJM is. You can't even make people agree on liking your main fucking character? In fact most Feyre antis are Pro Nestas... which is ridiculous. How poorly do you have to write for people to pit sisters against each other WHEN YOUR MAIN TROPE IS FOUND FAMILY. The way SJM uses Feyre pisses me off endlessly

I think Feysand has its moments, and I don't hate anything about them specifically - but rather how they're presented and treated by the narrative. I think they make sense together, and I prefer them to Feylin, but I hate how SJM and fans bend over backward to justify everything.

I'm not a Nesta stan, I just think the narrative (and especially SF) is an injustice to real world issues and the logic used against her makes no sense in reference to the other characters. SJM says she loves her so much, but shows her none. I find the way the fandom treats her lacking empathy, and SJM has done nothing to actually better her character. I think its ridiculous no one acknowledge that she grew up in the same fucking cottage as Feyre with the same parents. SJM constantly dredges up new shit to pit her and Feyre against each other instead of just letting them be happy. She treats Nesta like she's irredeemable, and when she does "redeem" herself its literally in service to the people who are forcing her to fix herself??? She's used as a point for juvenile drama and placed in a cycle of being antagonized with no outlet to place blame. See my full thoughts on her here

I don't actually despise the ic, I think they all are just wasted and thrown into whatever whirlwind situation gives SJM a boner. I think Morrigan had so much potential, but SJM decided it would be better to use her for petty drama and forwarding a ship. I don't hate her because she doesn't do anything for the woman in the CoN, because quite frankly I don't think SJM has thought that far. I don't think Cassian's the worst man alive, but I think SJM has a poor grasp on him and what a healthy relationship (even in the bounds of a fantasy novel) is. And I just find Azriel particularly useless, he's not a thoughtful sensitive soul, he's just yet to be focused on. And I do not look forwards to the day he is, based on his first and only current pov.

I'm not a Tamlin stan, in fact I really don't care for his character, but I think he suffers from lazy writing and some severe character assassination. I think the switch up on his character after the first book is absolutely ridiculous.

I dislike how SJM throws Elain around and treats her like a little precious baby and making her out to be an airhead whos absolved from the same crimes Nesta's hated for.

I'm not an SJM fan, I'm an avid SJM hater. I actually despise her, and while I won't write out my entire long list of grievances with her here, just know that literally all of my issues with the series would be gone if she was just a better person and writer. Seriously, I think she lacks so much mechanical and analytical skill (which is crazy, she's been publishing books for 12+ years and written like 15) and I see no change in the future. She constantly retcons, switches characters up for whatever her narrative calls for, and sacrifices good character writing for a fast track to mediocre faerie smut.

I hate the way she sexualized Feyre's experience under the mountain. I hate the way she immediately objectified Feyre when she got pregnant (the blurb describing Feyre walking around while pregnant is insanely kinky and I hate it). I hate the way she throws around trauma and mental illness like cute little stickers so that she can pick and choose the aspects she thinks are cool. I hate that she's fucked up people's perception of abuse and mental illness. I hate the way she uses poc and steals credit for representation she didn't care to make. This isn't even all of it, its just what I can remember within the 9 minutes I spent writing this brain dump. SJM does not deserve more of my time 😭

If I was a character in the series I genuinely think I'd avoid all of them, because I don't care, and if I somehow did have to be cornered with any of them, I'd hate all of them. But If I ever faced up with the mother (aka Sarah), it'd be on sight. My hatred for her knows no bounds. Hate is a strong word, and one I used so many times in this post (something SJM does a lot too though, so I'm not worried, seriously get a thesaurus and stop using the same phrases every 6 pages) because it's true.

[desswright29]

CLASS 58 (Co-Captain)

Pairing: CopShuri X Cop reader

Contains: Reader Crushing hard, hints at cheating (that’s about it)

You pull into the parking lot, in your all black 1967 Mustang, 5:30 am on the dot. The sky was still pitch black and there were only two other cars in the parking lot that you assumed belonged to the instructors. You turn off your car, get out and sit on the hood, taking a deep breath, staring into the sky. Early morning was your favorite. The still and quietness of the morning had always helped you start your day off right. Popping your airpods in, you lay back and stare into the sky waiting for the sun to rise.

 Your mind wondered as “Angel numbers/10 toes” poured into your ears. You could only hope that this was the new beginning you needed. This offer from the FBI came at the perfect time. Right in time to give you a new beginning after you and your wife of 5 years divorced. You had the need to get away. Especially, after she’d taken the son you’d adopted together. Going through this would give you an outlet during the nasty custody battle you found yourself in. You didn't want to take him from her, just for the two of you to be able to co-parent cordially. But, she was making it so unnecessarily difficult.

“Get the fuck out y/n!”

“Baby please. Listen to me please!” You sat on your knees infront Riri, begging to be heard.

“What am I listening to? I saw everything I needed to see!”

“I was lonely, Ri! You're not even affectionate with me anymore! We hardly see eachother. Don't act like you haven't checked out of this relationship!”

“And who’s fault is that? How dare you!? How dare you turn this shit around on me to cover your ass. At least I was trying! I never even entertained the thought of cheating!”

The look in her eyes broke you. The tears spilling out of her big pretty brown eyes, onto her beautiful face. Since you were teens you’d worked hard to keep those eyes sparkling, to make her smile so hard that the dimples in her cheeks would show up. Now she was broken by you.

“I’m sorry.”

“Y/n, just go.” She seemed exhausted with the conversation.

“What about Amari?” You say in tears. A look of disgust came over Riri’s face.

“You should have thought of that shit before you placed your face between another bitches legs. Right now I don't want you around me or my child. Get out.” She spoke softly, walking away as though it took all her strength to hold her body upright.

You huffed, rubbing a hand over your face. To stop the tears from escaping. You had to shake it off, push the memory back into its space on the back of your mind, and prepare yourself for the day. 

“Today you will have your first P.T. test! It’s purely to gauge where you are physically right now and will not affect your grade. But, if I were you I'd give it a hundred percent! I suggest you don't waste our time or yours. When I release you all, you’ll head from the training building over to the gym and prepare for the push up and sit up segment of your test.” Mr. Kaufman looked over the class as they stood at attention, stern, serious. Making sure he got his point across.

“FALL OUT!”

The class fell out of formation, grabbing the belongings they would need to head to the gym when a voice called out to you.

“Aye yo Y/l/n wait up!” Benson scuffled, catching up to you. “What’s up, boss lady. We get assigned to dorms today. You think we’ll be roommates?”

“Prayerfully, my luck isn't that bad.” You continue on your way trying to avoid conversation not in the mood, however she doesn't take the hint.

“Ahh man you do me so bad. You're gonna love me when this is all over.” The two of you walk inside of the gym and find a weight bench to sit on, waiting for instruction.

“You’re very confident. You should direct that towards someone who won’t ruin that for you.”

“Loosen up, pretty lady. You can't be stuck up the entire six months.” You shot daggers at her and she finally took her cue. Laughter erupted from the other side of the gym, and you peered over seeing Shuri and a group of the guys from the class entering the gym. Damnit was she fine! When she walked into a room everyone had to sit up and take note, and you had to admit it had you intrigued. The girl that everyone would soon find to be the class whore, lingered closely pretending to be interested in whatever was being talked about. Laughing and twirling one of her cornrows around her finger.

“You could look a lil less disgusted by the sight.” You look back over at Benson’s amused face.

“What are you talking about?” You say defensively.

“You look like you wanna snatch Auguste up by them thick ass cornrows for being all up on Udaku.”

“I dont give a fuck about that girl. I don't know her.”

“Yea. Well you look like you want to.”

“Whatever.” You stood to your feet, rolling your eyes, and walking away with Bensons chuckle trailing behind you.

Mr. Kaufman entered the gym instructing you all to place out the green mats assigning you all to your respective lines. You were all called up by three’s for the push-up portion of the test. The class captain being one of the first up. She walked up confidently placing herself in a push up position. Sgt. Sanders called start and you watched Shuri work. Biceps protruding from her short sleeve compression shirt, and veins popping from her forearms and neck. She moved so effortlessly, even with her weighted vest on. You found yourself in a slight trance. She must have felt your stare, because her eyes found yours, her bottom lip curling into her mouth as she pushed them out faster. Your mouth fell open slightly as your mind traveled to places it shouldn't, her eyes never left yours as she put on a show.

“TIME! Damn good job Udaku! You knocked that out of the park!” The sergeant called out. Snapping you back into reality. You finally let out the breath that you never realized you were holding. What kind of spell did that woman have you under?

“I’d pay money to be the mat underneath that woman.” Auguste said from behind you.

You swallowed to ignore the way your body had gotten hot under Shuri’s gaze. A smug smile sat on her lips as she walked past you.

“Good luck, battle.” (Military jargon to acknowledge other military personnel. short for “battle buddy”)

She knew who you were.

“Y/l/n, you're up!”

You sat on your knees on the mat looking ahead seeing Shuri standing in between the lines arms crossed, focused directly on you. You got in position and when start was called, you looked straight forward, avoiding Shuri’s eyes that burned a hole through you. You knocked out your two minutes effortlessly.

“TIME! Udaku’s got some competition! Great job y/l/n!” You found Shuri once again, as you stood to your feet. She stood in the same position she was in before. A small smile plastered on her face as she gave a slight nod in your direction, before walking over to her group of friends.

The rest of the test breezed by. You and Shuri taking the lead the entire day. She left you in the dust on the running portion. She was Olympic level fast. And you were impressed.

“Alright everyone! Settle down. Get to your seats! Great job today. We’re gonna go ahead and release you all so that you can get settled in the dorms. Good news. You all will be the first class to use the new dorms. So only two to a room. You’ll share a a kitchen and bathroom. The bedrooms are seperate.”

The class began to cheer.

“Dont get too excited you dont get to choose your roommate. The list is on the board in the hall. Check it out. Get settled, curfew is at 9 pm. That means toe to line for count at 8:59! Get out of here.”

The class stood to their feet, the chairs squeaking against the floors as they rushed into the hall to find out who they would be spending the next six months with. You stayed behind, pushing in chairs waiting for the crowd to clear out. You pulled out your phone turning it on, checking to see if there was any word from Riri. Once again nothing.

You shot her a quick message before placing your phone back into your pocket and walking out into the hallway. 

You were met with Bensons smiling face at the end of the hallway. 

“Whaddup roomie!” Her face lit up with a smile and her arms spread wide. Your eyes widened.

“No way!” You rushed over to the list, your finger roaming over the paper until you found your name; low and behold your name was listed below Bensons in room 306. 

Your head dropped as you let out a sigh. 

“Don’t act like you don’t love the idea of being alone with me 24/7” You let out a groan. 

“We’re gonna have to set some clear boundaries. Atleast I know what to expect from you.” Benson pumped her fist yelling. “This is gonna be a fucking blast!”

“No yelling in the halls!” Sgt. Sanders yelled from the office. 

“My bad sarg!” She yelled back. You shook your head and started walking out of the building.

“I’ll meet you at the dorm Benson.”

As you walked to your car, you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand at attention, you felt someone quietly approaching, your guard went up and you turned quickly ready to strike when you came face to face with Udaku herself. Your hand went up to your chest as you let out a breath. 

“Shit!”

“I apologize. I didn't mean to startle you. Wasn’t trying to sneak up, I'm just naturally stealthy…..Like a cat.” She stood in front of you, her smirk showing just a sliver of her perfect teeth, today her hair was braided back, and she had changed into a simple black sweat suit, she made it look like she’d just stepped out of vogue, and It made your body visibly tremble.

She noticed your reaction as her gaze traveled over your body, “Cold?”

“Uh yea. It is pretty chilly.” You say once again avoiding her eyes. 

“Yes it is.” She stuck her hands into the pockets of her jacket. “Y/l/n right? I noticed you didn't come get my information after class yesterday.”

“I think I'm capable of listening and getting the same information you receive. I won’t be needing it.” You say, and she smirks.

“The other Army recruit, huh?”

“How’d you know?”

“Kind of my job, and I can tell you’re very strong willed, competitive, and prepared.”

“Competitive?” One of your brows shot up, your arms crossing in defense. 

“Yes, I saw your attempt at beating my scores, and though I admire your resolve, you can’t beat me.”  A smirk spread across your face. 

“Is that so?” She nodded very sure of herself.

“It is very much so.”

“Riiiiight Captain. We’ll see.” You say with a salute. She gave a chuckle, the soft sound made your ears perk up, you could listen to that forever, my God was everything about this woman attractive!

“But since you can’t beat me. I was thinking you would consider joining me.” You cocked your head to the side waiting for her to continue.

“You see I need a Co-Captain. And turns out I get to choose. I’ve watched you and think you would be the perfect partner.”

“Oh do you?”

“I haven’t seen anyone more qualified than you.”

“Co-Captain?” She placed prayer hands in front of her, before putting on her best pleading face.

“Pretty pretty pleeeease?” Those intense eyes focusing on your own, paired with her sexy accent had you looking away quickly trying to avoid the blush from rising on your cheeks. 

“Your one hell of a negotiator. Where’d

 you learn?”

“I’d say it was my military training, but that one in particular seems to work best outside of work.” This time you couldn’t escape the blush.

“I’ll do it.”

“Yes!” She said pumping her fist just like Benson had earlier. She held out her hand and you firmly grasp it; The two of you shook on it. “I look forward to doing business with you.”

“Same.” The handshake lingered a bit before the two of you let go.

“That yours?” She said her head nodding towards your car. Your face lit up. Not going unnoticed by Shuri.

“ ‘67 Reborn. My dad passed it down to me. His dad passed it down to him. She’s my baby.”Shuri nodded her head, cocking it to the side, her smile getting bigger.

“Cute.” She said, Your head snapped towards her. “The car. She’s beautiful.” Her gaze lingered on you, and the two of you stared at each other for what felt like minutes. In reality it was only a few seconds. She turned towards the building, throwing a “See you at the dorms partner,” over her shoulder before walking away.

You stared as she swaggered her way into the building. Leaving you with her clean scent lingering and your heart racing.

This was going to be a long 6 months.

Once inside your car you check your phone again. Heading straight to you and Riri’s text thread. The only thing ther was the several read text messages you’d sent over the past few weeks. Including the one you’d just sent.

Ri, I’m sorry. Just let me see him

Shuri watched from the window inside of the training building, as you hit the steering wheel in frustration. You sat back staring at the sky for awhile before you finally placed your key in the ignition and headed towards the dorms.

[moku-youbi]

Tell me you haven't read any Poe without telling me you haven't read any Poe.

All these fucking articles and reviews from major entertainment and news outlets, and posts on tumblr talking about the influences of each episode trying to bend over backwards to say how Tamerlane's story is an abstract take on Gold-Bug, simply because that's the name of her subscription box, even though there's nothing there.

They don't mention William Williamson at all, or even touch on the doppleganger aspect as Verna takes over her life. Like are you fucking kidding me? That's only one of his best stories. And it's not remotely subtle. I didn't even *notice* that her husband's last name was Williamson on the first watchthrough, or put together with his name being Bill...but I already knew she was William Williamson when she saw Verna in the background of the exercise video episodes before.

Goldbug is a cute wink at one of Poe's stories that didn't really fit with what Usher was all about. Tamerlane's Goldbug is a rare treasure contained with a box, and that's it. Meanwhile, William Williamson tells the story of a man meeting his own double, who shares his name. A man who wears the same clothing, has the same mannerisms--and OMG can we talk about Carla Gugino's performance as Candy, when she was pulling off the exact timbre and cadence of Samantha Sloyan's voice, so fucking uncanny!!. The double starts insinuating himself into WW's life, appearing everywhere, though his face is only ever visible to WW. He offers unwanted advice, and tries to intervene with WW is making poor life choices (to put it mildly, lmao), and finally, how does it all end? WW challenges his double to a duel, only when he strikes the final blow, he finds he's been standing in front of a mirror, and dies, having killed his own reflection.

Now, do I necessarily expect the average viewer to know this? Of course not. But I would think that the folks out there writing reviews of a series based on the works of a famous author should do the bare minimum research. Not a single episode is based on any one single work of Poe's. There are nods and hints and easter eggs and winks all over the place. And while all the other children's deaths are clear cut references, some of them nearly exactly the same as in Poe's work, like how fucking hard would it be to go "hmm, this doesn't seem to have anything to do with Gold-Bug. Maybe I'll do a google and see if the major themes of Tamerlane's episode are explored in any of Poe's writing..."

[cancmbyn]

Nothing. And I hope that Armie’s rep never answers these requests EVER again.

There is feeding the beast in one way, but not directly ffs.

What they have to comment? 🤔

[nocandnc]

2, 3, 6, 7, 11, 14, 16, 24, and 25 for OkoHoshi

Whoa, so many... I'll do my best!!

By nature of the prompts, some of these get a bit racy - nothing too explicit (just isn't my style) but proceed with caution below the cut ^^;;;

2) Who is always horny and will have sex at any time, at any place and at any time?

Hoshina is always looking for opportunities to fool around - during work, at home, in the ICU - anywhere at all, really. But he's also sort of calm about it? Regular training and live combat serves as a pretty good outlet for all that energy, so even if he's down for a good time anytime, he's not going stir crazy for it either.

Okonogi is usually the opposite. She conducts herself seriously and will refuse to entertain Hoshina's frisky impulses on most days. But unlike the Vice Captain, she doesn't have a convenient outlet for that frustration - so it builds up, and if Hoshina does manage to flip her switch then she's so much more desperate.

3) Who is more into taking showers/baths together? Who tries to make it relaxing and who tries to make it sexy time?

Coming from a more traditional household, Hoshina is used to just... taking baths with people? He's not actively thinking of it as something sexual, so he's plenty happy to just relax together. That said, he won't turn down an opportunity for sexy time if Okonogi's in the mood for it.

Okonogi insists that she is NOT, face red from more than just the water temperature.

6) Who takes photos of the other while they sleep?

Okonogi takes photos of him quite often, sleeping or otherwise. She got used to doing so after having to gather promotional materials for the 3rd Division, which seeped into her off-duty habits as well. The rare photos Hoshina takes of her are for the express purpose of bragging in the work group chat.

Hoshina: New wallpaper pic~ Ain't my girl the cutest? Kafka: Not cool Vice Cap :'( Ichikawa: Please stop... Captain Ashiro: Did you receive Okonogi's permission to share this? Narumi: FUCK OFF

7) Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?

There are lots of scenarios that come to mind where either of them confesses first, but in most cases I'd say Hoshina. Maybe he plays it off like a joke, very much into her but hesitant to really go for it in case he dies and leaves her suffering it makes work awkward. Maybe he says it in a deadly serious way, shocking Okonogi to tears because he's not allowed to do that. It's too cruel. What if she actually believes him this time, only for it to be just another joke?

I don't think either of them would be keen on ending a fight by pulling the 'because I love you' card... But if I had to say, Okonogi would probably be the first to let something like that slip - boiling mad and sick with worry after he starts taking his battles too far all too often. 11) Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?

"You looove me" Soshiro preens, pulling Konomi close. "You wanna huuug me, and kiiiiiss me, and—" "We're married" she groans.

14) Who starts the hand holding? Who grabs the others butt? Who slides their arm around their waist? Who likes to put their fingers in the belt loops?

The first time Okonogi dared to hold Hoshina's hand was during a particularly long stay in hospital. After waiting for what seemed like hours, she entwined her shaky fingers with his still ones and prayed for him to wake up soon.

Hoshina was never informed of this, so in his mind, he was the first one to do any hand-holding along with most other forms of PDA. He loves flaunting their relationship and loves how much she blushes when he does so. Okonogi is a little braver about reciprocating in private, but it takes her a while to get used to the idea that she can just... grab him sometimes.

16) Who is more seductive when they are drunk? and who is louder in bed?

I wouldn't call her seductive but I do imagine Okonogi being a lot more aggressive and confident when drunk, sexually or otherwise. The Vice Captain is incapable of seducing anyone while drunk. He just gets all sappy.

Hoshina isn't especially loud in bed, but he is very talkative. Okonogi on the other hand can barely form a sentence without screaming.

24) Who starts random slow dancing with the other in the kitchen? Who holds the other just above the ground and kisses them?

I don't see either of them being very into slow dancing to be honest. Hoshina prefers a faster pace, and Okonogi is too awkward about it one way or the other. Hoshina definitely picks Okonogi up to kiss her though - it's so damn easy and he loves showing off. Then again, making her struggle to kiss him from the very tips of her toes is equally tempting.

25) Who says shitty puns and sex jokes just to see the other giggle and blush?

Hoshina is a full-time clown, much to Okonogi's thinly veiled amusement annoyance - but every now and then she'll hit him (and anyone else within earshot) with surprisingly wild sex joke of her own.

[pippin-katz]

I wanna get this out of my head and you’re one of the people that I know will set me straight. I am so beyond proud of Nicky and his new show! That teaser for M&G was fucking amazing and I know it’ll definitely get him so many nominations and awards (as he rightfully deserves - the man has been putting the work)!!!! I guess I’m feeling….bitter? Idk if that’s the right word. I’ve been living on a high from RWRB I want to see more of him and Taylor together, more RWRB content. It’s his job of course and I know he’s got so many more roles to come in his career. I just……yea don’t know how to deal with seeing so many M&G posts in the RWRB tags when I don’t think I’ll ever move on from Alex and Henry 😔

I know what you mean and I understand that feeling. I don’t think you’re entirely wrong or unjustified. The thing is, we didn’t get the full experience for Red, White & Royal Blue. There’s a big difference between these two projects.

Neither of them could even acknowledge RWRB, let alone celebrate it, despite it coming out and smashing expectations for over a month straight (lol).

It’s also not the same in that Nick, despite for some reason being labeled as “a rising star” by some news outlets and YouTube channels, has been the lead in a major production with a famous costar before (Purple Hearts & Cinderella). There’s no need to hype up working with Julianne Moore; people have already been laughing and pointing out how despite being the bigger and more notable actress, most people are talking about Nick. In contrast, Taylor had never been a lead before, so talking about working with him would’ve been significantly different.

They’re also the same age, which changes the dynamic between them. I’m not sure if or how much press they will be doing for this, but I think it’s fair to say that it would be more fun/entertaining to see Nick and Taylor together than Nick and Julianne, which is nothing against her at all. I’m sure she’s absolutely lovely.

Another difference is that RWRB is an original story based off a popular novel, and it was doubted from the start. Mary & George is based on real history, which gives it a significant advantage. Both have LGBT+ sexual elements, but it’s far easier to grab attention if you can slap the “based on a true story” in front of it; it simply intrigues people who aren’t fully convinced more, and that’s why they use it.

Basically, the “what could’ve been” for RWRB is probably the bitterness you’re feeling.

I’m not going to tell you that you can’t or shouldn’t feel that. Instead, I’ll just tell you not to let those feelings bring others down; if you want to express them, find a friend that you know you can talk to, and talk to them about it. I’m sure there’s plenty of others that have similar feelings. I myself was experiencing a weird negative emotion deep down in my chest underneath the excitement that I couldn’t place until typing all this out.

The important thing to focus on is how proud of Nick we are/should be. It’s that positivity that we want to spread. Hopefully that helps!

[anxiousgaypanicking]

Okay, so I have a request 🙈 -that you can feel free to ignore- because my real life situation is frickin setting up for a smut plot but I'm not activating it 😂 but one of the Sides 👀👀👀 definitely would. So a roommate who constantly makes noise like he's getting off/fucked and like, lays in bed twitching like he's got somethin in his ass 👀 so what happens when someone buys him a thrusting/vibrating dildo/plug via Amazon and it shows up when he's home alone. Does he use it alone? Does he get caught by the roommate who bought it? That day? Eventually? Ever? I'd love to know your take. Pairing of your choice. -😳

Home Alone

Demus (Janus x Remus) Warnings: toys, plugs, hair pulling, thigh fucking

"I don't remember ordering a package," Remus mumbles, scratching at his stubble as he leans in the doorway of his house. He's staring at a box placed at the front door, addressed to him, but the contents unknown. 

Sure, Janus often has things shipped to their house - they are roommates after all - but he puts his name on those packages, and gets rather pissy when Remus snoops inside of them, claiming "that's illegal" and that he'll "send Remus to the pound" if he does it again.

Perhaps this was something Remus has ordered while drunk, and simply forgot. That's happened more than once, after all. 

He grins and grabs the package, so delighted with himself that he basically skips inside. Sure, he may not remember what's in here, but he's looking at this situation like it's a nice, surprising gift! Anything could be in here, and Remus had quite the vivid imagination, which meant this box delighted him immensely. 

The mere thought that this could be anything from a bomb to a basic tee-shirt entertains his hyperactive mind as he tosses the box onto the couch, and then falls onto it after, laying on his stomach as his sharp nails dig into the packing tape. 

Effortlessly, he pokes his finger through the material, and then slices it open, gathering up and then tossing the sticky strips carelessly to the floor, knowing he'll probably get an earful for making a mess when Janus gets home from grocery shopping.  Then, he's opening the box up.

 Inside is a thick, black plug, and a small remote folded within an equally minute packet of instructions printed in small, hard-to-read lettering. Immediately, Remus is whooping as he rolls onto the floor, barely stunned by his back hitting the ground as he rushes to dig the plug out of the packing peanuts and set the remote on the table.

"Man, I sure do love spoiling myself!" he exclaims excitedly, congratulating himself on his unplanned purchase. 

Tipping the remote over, he slides the back open and checks it for batteries, only to see a plug instead. At the bottom of the box is a small charging cord. Remus hums as he stands and brings his new toy to his room, immediately sitting near an outlet and plugging the remote in. He lets it charge until a small light on the remote glows blue, where he's hitting what he presumes to be the "on" button (a big button in the center, with two smaller ones below and above it).

Immediately, the plug starts buzzing with intense vibrations, making Remus squeal. He grabs the plug with his hand, holding it as he takes his time hitting the small button on top until the plug seems to reach its max intensity, and then doing the same thing with the lower button until the plug stops vibrating at all. It seems to have a wide range of vibrations that have Remus kicking his feet with anticipation.

"Thank you, Past Me, for surprising Present Me with a lovely little toy!" Remus babbles out loud, already shimmying his clothes off. He mumbles a silly response to himself of "you're welcome, Present Me. Aren't I a genius?"

His shirt and pants discarded, Remus is quick to reach toward his nightstand and feel around for lube, which he's quick to pop open once he finds. He doesn't care that he's still seated on his floor; all he cares about is pouring an excessive amount of lube on the toy and then picking it up, bending down to be on his forearms and knees as he teasingly drags the plug between his cheeks.

He leaves a trail of lube between his crack, before he slowly pushes the toy into his hole, moaning loudly as he feels himself stretch around it. He's sexual enough normally that he didn't bother to finger himself open beforehand, but this plug makes him feel pleasantly full, especially after Remus pushes it in up to its base.

Moaning obscenely loud, Remus lets his face push against the floor, working the plug slowly in and out of him just to tease himself, before he pushes it in fully and then lets it go.

It fills him up so nicely, and as he sits back on his calves he can't help but slap his own ass and grin. Damn, he's sexy.

The plug seemingly fits perfectly inside of him, or so he'd claim, but the plug itself isn't that exciting on its own. What really delights him is the remote that came with it, of which Remus is eager to grab and click on.

Immediately, medium vibrations are pleasuring his ass, making him squirm happily as he pushes his chest against the floor, presenting his ass into the air.

His door is wide open, but he's home alone, so his noises of pleasure echo throughout the house.

His thumb caresses the remote as he debates between flicking it as high as it can go, or lowering the vibrations and edging himself just to be a tease.

Finally, he settles on raising it a bit, and then sitting back on his knees, groaning as he messes with the plug. He pulls it out just enough for the widest part of the plug to stretch around his hole, and then pushes it back in deep, clenching around the toy as he fidgets with it until he can feel it pressing against his prostate. Violent vibrations torture the bundle of nerves, making him cry out a sultry "oh, fuck!" followed by a loud and nasally moan.

That just so happens to be the noise Janus is greeted with as he opens their front door.

He can't really feel anything but amusement and a sense of pride as he listens to Remus no doubt play with the toy he bought. After all, he'd gotten the alert that his package was delivered this morning, and it isn't on the porch waiting for him. But why would it be? He'd addressed it to Remus, after all.

Janus sets his groceries down on the kitchen floor, directing them towards the counter with his foot before he shamelessly struts to Remus's room, not surprised to find the door wide open.

Smugly, he leans in the doorway, crossing his arms over his chest. "Hm," he begins, loud enough to get Remus's attention, "I see you're enjoying your little gift."

Unsurprisingly, Remus isn't ashamed of being caught at all. In fact, he doesn't even bother to pause his playing while talking, just grinning wide at Janus as he grinds down on the toy as best he can.

But Remus still picks up on the implications of Janus's comment, and smiles wide as he slides the toy out a little bit once more. "So that explains why I don't remember buying it!" he exclaims, before moaning loudly as he shoves the plug back in, muffling it's intense vibrations. "But why question a good thing?"

His words are routinely broken by his lewd noises, but he still gathers enough breath to ask "may I know why you've decided to spoil me all of a sudden?"

"Don't make it sound so sweet," Janus chastises, as he pushes Remus's bedroom door closed. He strides towards Remus without hesitation, and helps him off the floor and onto the bed, pulling the remote from Remus's hands in the process. "I did this selfishly. Your gift was completely for my benefit."

Remus moans. "How so?"

Janus clicks the toy down until the vibrations cease entirely, making Remus whine immediately. When he goes to complain, he's silenced by Janus raising his hand, clearly about to offer an explanation. And though Remus is impatient, he's also curious, and so can settle on clenching around the toy until Janus is done.

"You're loud," comes Janus's immediate response. "Very loud. Even with your door shut I can hear your perverted moans seeping into the living room, interrupting my shows or distracting me from work. It's really inconsiderate, you know." Janus moves closer, before waving Remus up.

"Get on the bed," he orders, and Remus scrambles to obey immediately despite the fact they've not done anything sexual previously. He's still inclined to obey.

Remus immediately rolls onto his chest, lifting his ass into the air and bringing one of his hands back to pull his ass cheek to the side in order to show Janus the plug's base, with the toy itself nestled comfortably inside of him.

"Do you know how much of a tease you are?" Janus continues, and Remus can feel him kneeling on the bed behind him. "Always torturing me with your whorish noises, and never inviting me to touch?"

"I thought that could be assumed," Remus responds, only to jolt and moan when he feels a harsh slap to his ass in response.

"Shut up." Janus is firm, and swats Remus's groping hand away after a moment, taking to running his own hands over Remus's cheeks, groping them to his liking before he spreads them apart and grabs the base of the plug, slowly pulling it out before pushing it back in, repeating the process a few times before he's seemingly over Remus's quiet grunts of pleasure.

Janus's hands slide away from Remus's body, making Remus turn his head back to try and catch a glance of him, only for the plug inside of him to suddenly buzz to life once more. He cries out immediately, arching his chest further against the bed while his cock leaks onto his comforter.

"It's powerful, isn't it?" Janus commentates, knowing Remus isn't going to respond. "I made sure to get something stimulating enough to keep you interested. You seem like the needy type, after all."

"How'd- how'd you guess?" Remus gasps out, between moans.

Janus smirks. "I'm very perceptive."

There's the sound of a zipper, followed by lube, and then Remus feels Janus's hand dance across the back of his thighs.

"I can assume the answer, but just to make sure, this is okay, right?" Janus asks, pausing for a moment. Remus is quick to affirmatively answer, making Janus grin before his hands are placed on the sides of his thighs.

Momentarily, Remus wonders what he's going to do, before he feels Janus sliding his cocks - two?! - between his legs, rubbing them against Remus's own cock and closing his thighs around them to give him more friction.

"It'd be a waste to pull that plug out of you," Janus muses, as he shifts the toy around a few times before pressing it up against Remus's prostate, making Remus cry out in sudden pleasure. "Especially after how much I spent on it. You really owe me, you know." Grinding slightly, Janus rubs his cocks over Remus's own, making them both moan.

His arm slides around Remus's waist, and grabs all of their cocks to the best of his ability, squeezing them against each other.

"Two cocks," Remus moans, tongue brazenly out of his mouth as he pants like a dog. "You're a fucking freak. That's so hot!"

Janus scoffs. Here Remus is, letting his roommate use him like a toy, and he's the freak? Hmph.

In response, he squeezes his hand roughly around their cocks, stroking them hard and fast and making himself groan as he leans over Remus's back. His free hand fiddles with the toy's remote, and he lowers the intensity a few notches. When Remus whines, Janus just says "we don't want you spoiling our fun too soon, do we?"

Realistically, even if Remus came too soon for Janus's liking, he'd just overstimulate him until he was satisfied.

"Turn the vibe up," Remus pleads, through dramatic sobs of pleasure. "Pretty please?"

Out of spite, Janus drops the remote onto the bed and grabs Remus's hair instead, pulling his head back and watching drool roll down Remus's chin. The lower half of his face is a mess of spit, and he's careless in moaning louder at the feeling of Janus's fingers tangled in his messy locks.

"Fuck!"

Janus curses under his breath at how vocal Remus is. He knew this would be the case; that's why he was encouraged to do this in the first place, but being in the room with him and listening to him moan and cry with each stroke of his cock or fidget of the plug made Janus realize just how sensually sensitive he is. No wonder he's so loud; a brush against his nipples or a thumb over the slit of his cock probably has him nearing an orgasm almost instantaneously!

Janus keeps one of his hands knotted in Remus's hair, and tugs his head occasionally just to earn a pained whine, while his hand speeds up on their cocks. Remus really is quite the teasing slut.

"I should have done this sooner," Janus grunts, lips pressing against Remus's neck. His sharp teeth scratch Remus's imperfect flesh, dragging over scars and moles and random patches of rough skin that Janus leisurely lets his tongue roll over. With the plug vibrating so low, Remus is the one that's feeling truly cheated. Yes, it's pleasurable, but it's not enough. If Janus wasn't stroking him off right now, he'd be saying a lot more!

"Please," Remus begs, shooting his shot with pleading once more. "Turn it up! Need it, please!" 

Janus sharply tugs on Remus's hair, earning a cry of desperation, but finally slides his fingers out of it after a moment, watching Remus's head fall quick onto the pillow beneath him, moist with his spit. Despite how fun it is hearing him moan and cry, Janus didn't spend an absurd amount of money on this remote-controlled vibrator just to not use the remote. That'd be silly. 

He grabs it, clutching it tight as he works his hand over his cocks, rubbing them against Remus's quickly. Without a word, he's flicking the remote up a few notches, watching Remus push his chest into the bed as he moans out Janus's name. 

"So hot!" Remus gasps, feeling the plug torture his prostate. "I don't- I don't-" he gasps, before steadying his voice just enough to express "I don't know how I'm going to take this toy out. I want to keep it inside me forever!" 

"Gross," Janus utters, but he clicks the vibe up another peg. He doesn't doubt that Remus will get plenty of use out of the plug, but he'd rather Remus take it out once in a while, lest they want a hospital trip on their calendar. 

Moaning loudly, Remus's fingers drag across the sheets as he rocks his hips, feeling Janus's hand pump his cock and the plug jostle in his ass. He feels so hot. 

And then Janus is turning the plug up all the way, maximum vibrations torturing Remus's prostate with little more than a soft click, which has him crying out immediately "I'm close! I'm close!" 

He's so loud, so shameless, and so quick to come after announcing his approaching orgasm. Clearly, he was a lot closer than he claimed, and his semen spurts over the sheets in thick ropes, until his cock hangs leaky and spent. 

Janus strokes him through his orgasm, before pulling his hand back and turning the vibe down low. Not off, low. Then, he scoots back just enough to push Remus's thighs further together, and leans over him, promptly fucking his thighs as quick as he possibly can. Lube slicks up the sides of Remus's legs, with Janus's cocks rubbing against each other and Remus's flaccid shaft, which seems excited by the brief contact it gets with each thrust until it's twitching and hardening once more. 

"Whore," Janus spits, though his words are more amused than anything else. "If you get hard again you're on your own." 

Remus whines, fully intending to stroke himself off again once Janus comes. And he wants Janus to come. 

"Make a mess of me," Remus pleads, clenching around the plug in his ass. He lifts his body up so that his back is weirdly bent, and so the top of his head is against the pillow, facing toward Janus's rocking hips and his own limp cock.  Tongue hanging out of his mouth, Remus implores Janus "come on my face! Fucking ruin me!" 

And Janus does. With little more than a moan of his own, Janus thrusts his cocks hard between Remus's thighs, and comes. He makes a mess of Remus's chest, the bed, and Remus's face. His come spills over Remus's cheeks, lips, and even gets into his hair, meaning that when Janus pulls back and Remus rolls over, he gets to see the fruits of his labor. 

Remus licks his mouth. 

"Fuck," he curses, panting. His half-lidded eyes observe Janus from across the bed. They both just stay for a moment, catching their breaths, before Remus goes "so... do I get another sex toy the next time you want to bang?" which promptly gets Janus throwing the remote at Remus's chest. 

"Buy your own damn toy," he huffs, before tucking his cocks back into his pants. "And close your door. Especially at night." He pinches the bridge of his nose, recalling the many sleepless nights he's had as a result of Remus getting horny at two in the morning. 

Remus just laughs in response. 

But as Janus gets up to leave, smoothing out his clothes and running his fingers through his sweaty hair to straighten it out, Remus calls "feel free to use me any time you'd like, though." 

Janus glances at him and sees Remus scooping Janus's come off his face and sucking it off his fingers, before Remus adds "after all, I'm going to be moaning your name a lot more after this. It's only fair that you come be the one to make me moan it, y'know?" 

Janus rolls his eyes, and doesn't respond, but Remus knows he'll be back. And until Janus decides to use him again, Remus had a new remote control toy that he could turn up whenever he so desired. Such as right now. 

And as Janus pulls his door shut, he hears muffled buzzing, followed by a crescendo of moans that Janus knows will echo through the house until Remus is done. 

[barkrry]

philophobia - h. styles x 1dbandmember!YN masterlist

Days turned to week turned to months turned to a year. That’s how long it had been since YN had left Harry in the coffee shop. They had had minimal contact, a few texts here and then. Nothing that stood out too much, mostly congratulating each other on new career opportunities that appeared and award shows. A possible, ‘I saw you in London today, you looked busy so didn’t say hi.’ It was… awkward.

Of course, she had dropped a bombshell on him. His manager was the reason they split, but it also wasn’t as black and white as that. There were layers to it. Ones he knew about, and ones he didn’t. But for her, it wasn’t worth going over and over. It would just add to more heartbreak, plus, Harry was now dating another woman.

That’s why it surprised her when she was emailed an audio clip from the man himself.

Sunflower, my eyes want you more than a melody Let me inside, wish I could get to know you Sunflowers sometimes keep it sweet in your memory I was just tongue-tied

Hearing his raw vocals, mixed with an acoustic guitar. It was a healthy outlet, one they both shared. Writing out your feelings, experiences and turning them into something beautiful. Never letting anyone know the true meaning. It was an outlet. It was healthy. That was what they told themselves.

But this was different, this was him sharing with her. This was him telling her that he wanted to know why. And he was telling her in the best way that he knew how.

It was the following week that he was allowing her into his house, if you could call it that, It was bigger than he could ever require. But it hadn’t changed at all since she was last inside. The only things missing were her hoodies and shoes thrown about the place where she would forget.

“I- I spoke to Jeff,” he began, cradling his coffee mug between his hands. Thumb stroking the lip gently, looking at the dark liquid inside. This told her that he was currently working on more music, and made her wonder if that song was going to be on the album. She didn’t ask however. “He was also… confused.”

YN nodded her head, dropping her eyes to her own liquid, made to her own colour preference. Just like he had always done. “He didn’t tell me to break up with you,” she said quietly, her lips rubbing together briefly. “He just told me you’d have a better contract and career if you weren’t tied to me musically,” she added, glancing away at the mess of books on his entertainment system.

“So… why did you break up with me?” Harry asked, his brow furrowed in adorable confusion. There was still a small part of her that wanted to lean in and kiss it away.

A shrug of her shoulders, a sip of her drink. “Because you would be better off, you are better off. I basically did you a favour.”

“You definitely did not,” he pointed out, setting his mug down firmly. “I was- I was fucking heartbroken, YN- I still am!”

“So heartbroken you’ve dated… how many women since?”

Harry’s face fell at the question, his head shaking as he pushed his curls away from his face. “That’s not fair, you know it’s not as easy as that. So fucking cut up over you, of course they had to get me on stunt relationships so it doesn’t look like I’m still singing about you, almost three years after we’ve split.”

“Oh, give it a break! You were not that in love with me,” she shook her head firmly, putting her own mug on the table and standing from her seat. “We were never gonna last after the band split up anyway, you were with me out of convenience.”

“Out of convenience? Is that all I was to you?” His eyes fell, as the sadness wasn’t afraid to show. He had always felt comfortable, safe, around her. Never needing to hide his true emotions, and he wasn’t going to start now.

“That’s all I was to you, Harry. Everyone saw it, they loved to keep reminding me,” she mumbled, rubbing her face with a deep huff. “I never should have come here…”

Harry stood up, looking at her as he sighed deeply. He didn’t say anything, yet neither did she. They just looked at each other, properly taking in all the ways the hiatus, the break up and everything since had changed them. Then…

Neither of them knew who was the first to move, but their lips were touching. Smacking together in the only way they knew how, acting fully on instinct and memory as their hands were working quickly to undress the other. Bodies flush together as her skin slapped against his, as their bodies became one. Sharp, breathless moans escaped her lips, and deep, needy grunts came from him. An act they had performed so many times before, one they knew so perfectly together.

And after, when he was breathless against the sofa, catching his breath after an intense orgasm and she was pulling her own clothes back on, she would glance over her shoulder and whisper something to him.

“This won’t ever happen again.”

[just-jordie-things]

spiderman fan anon here again who yapped abt how i think ur spideygumi fic is the literal greatest spidey au of all time.. sry i hope ur not tired of hearing abt it but i just reread the fic (again) and i cant stop thinking abt what mc and megumis development would be like from here… megumi is definitely not the typical peter-parker-type with his sense of justice (as one of his figures’ packaging hilariously summarizes “i save people unequally”) which has SOO much potential for a Good fucking hero story AND new relationship dynamic. like maybe megumi tries to become kind of a more “moral” hero on his own, but shit happens, maybe the govt or police are too corrupt and he realizes he can only trust himself to bring justice to the city, a more batman-like mentality. would mc have a problem with his morality and pull away? would she agree with it and help him as a journalist? would she disagree and give him the With great power Comes great responsibility spiel, leading to him growing into a more “true” spiderman-like hero? Idfk i do not write at all but i cant turn off my comics-loving brain with all this potential!!! i also dont mean to push u to write any of this but i had to talk abt it before i Exploded

the way i wanna make this fic a 5 movie franchise now becuz OMG THE AVENUES THIS OPENS UPPP

i am a marvel girl (sorry battinson baby even u aren't my fav) so i see spiderman!gumi having a deadpool mentality but without the mouth lolol

ok here's some very small thoughts i have about what a continuation in the story would've looked like:

he tries to find a mix between the public eyes' idea of the right thing and his version of the right thing but... dammit some people just gotta suffer a bit don't they?

he sees someone get a lil too harsh with a dog and he can't just give em a lil scare. next thing he knows they're beaten beyond recognition and webbed up to a wall for the police to deal with. fuck that guy, who hurts dogs??

when the news starts to call him things like menace and people start to wonder if he's not the altruistic hero they thought he was, megumi tries to balance between the different schools of thought of justice. he has you by his side, supporting him and wishing him all the best with being the best he can be...

so when some perp he's apprehending starts spouting off some real nasty shit, megumi tries to tell himself that prison will bring him to justice. over and over in his head he tells himself that he has to let some things go...

but damnit this bigoted asshole won't shut up and megumi just doesn't see how society could possibly function with pieces of shit like this roaming around. and no, when the guy's body goes limp after a swift ninety-degree head-spinning snap to the neck, megumi doesn't feel any regret. only relief that there's one less bastard in his city.

as for you, you've always trusted in spiderman. so you're learning to place your trust in megumi, too. you hate the rare occasion when he visits you bloodied and bruised, but you hate the idea of a city without spiderman's protection even more. you've been a fan of spiderman since the first day you'd heard of the sightings. a ride or die doesn't walk away just because things are getting a little nastier out there.

a career in journalism will prove to be difficult. the truth about megumi's double life is a secret that you both understand must stay contained no matter the price. you probably bounce around a few firms, trying to find just the right place to land where you can write the truth without revealing too much. however most outlets just want to report on the crimes spiderman himself has committed, and you struggle with badmouthing your hero (and your boyfriend)

i like to think megumi laughs at the papers trying to paint him as a villain. it doesn't stress him out, it's nothing to him really. just a source of entertainment for him to read to you over dinner. between the two of you, you handle the ugly headlines far worse. but megumi likes to rile you up by reading all the worst ones to you, just to make you fuss over it all. some nights it's like you're rivals again- megumi taunting you with the latest edition of the spider-menace storytelling, chuckling when you start to crinkle your brows and spout off about how some writers are uneducated phonies or how they're ungrateful for what he's done. you never fail to go on a long winded rant followed by some chugged down water. and as always, megumi will just smirk and shake his head as he throws away said latest edition.

___

i lost wind here but i would love to hear if anyone has other thoughts too!!